Shrek: The Ghost of Lord Farquaad

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0:00:42 > 0:00:43Ta-da!

0:00:43 > 0:00:45FAIRY GASPS AND SQUEALS

0:00:45 > 0:00:47ECHOING SQUEALING

0:00:56 > 0:00:58Nah, that's a dead end.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Oh, come on, Shrek, who needs a map when you've got animal instinct?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Ah-ah-AH...!

0:01:03 > 0:01:04- AH-TCHOO!- D'oh!

0:01:04 > 0:01:06Darn bugs!

0:01:06 > 0:01:08- Stupid...- Uh-oh!

0:01:08 > 0:01:10- Come on, ya...! - Shrek, a little help here!

0:01:10 > 0:01:12Where are ye...?

0:01:12 > 0:01:15Oh, I say we take the turn at 305 and get off at Fairytale Forest.

0:01:15 > 0:01:16What are you talking about?

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Or we could fly there!

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Is there an off button on you?

0:01:20 > 0:01:21AH-TCHOO!

0:01:23 > 0:01:25- FIONA SNIFFLES AND CRIES - Aw, what's wrong, Princess?

0:01:25 > 0:01:28You shouldn't be this unhappy until years into the marriage.

0:01:28 > 0:01:29It's the happiest... SHE SNIFFS

0:01:29 > 0:01:32- ..day of my life.- Let me guess.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34- It's just... - You're overwhelmed by love!

0:01:34 > 0:01:35No!

0:01:35 > 0:01:36I mean, yes.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38- That's why I... - The shrimp batter was bad?

0:01:38 > 0:01:40- No, Donkey! I'm just...- Wait! Wait! I got it!

0:01:40 > 0:01:44I got it! You always wanted a puppy, but all you got was toasters!

0:01:44 > 0:01:47No, I'm sitting in an onion!

0:01:47 > 0:01:49This carriage is one big onion.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52Oh! Why didn't you say so?

0:01:52 > 0:01:53I'll turn on the air.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56FIONA EXHALES

0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Much better. - Noble steed at your service.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Would you look at that! Donkey!

0:02:00 > 0:02:02I found a shortcut.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04DRAMATIC MUSIC

0:02:04 > 0:02:05Are you crazy?!

0:02:05 > 0:02:09- Jiminy! That's a big one.- Argh! What?! Hey, man, I hate spiders!

0:02:09 > 0:02:10DONKEY BLOWS FRANTICALLY

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Stop that! Argh! Where'd he go?!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16ARGH! ARGH!

0:02:16 > 0:02:18SHREK CHUCKLES AND DONKEY YELPS

0:02:18 > 0:02:19You are too easy to scare. Come on.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21That forest could be hexed by anything!

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Uh-uh. I ain't going in there.

0:02:23 > 0:02:27Listen, I'm an ogre - I'm the one that does the scaring.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29What is there to be scared of?

0:02:29 > 0:02:31- THUNDER CRASHES - That!

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Thelonious!

0:02:33 > 0:02:38- Hey! What are you doing?! - Sorry, Princess, honeymoon's over!

0:02:38 > 0:02:42Wah-yah!

0:02:42 > 0:02:43Hee-hee-hee.

0:02:46 > 0:02:47- Let go!- Argh, Shrek!

0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Fiona!- Shrek!

0:02:50 > 0:02:52- Fiona!- Let me go!

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- To the carriage!- Shre-ek!

0:02:56 > 0:02:58We've got a donkey driving a carriage made from an onion.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01It's dark and our horses are wearing sunglasses.

0:03:01 > 0:03:05- Cut to the chase, Donkey, just cut to the chase!- Hit it, boys!

0:03:05 > 0:03:06Yee-ha!

0:03:09 > 0:03:11- Fiona! - HIGH-PITCHED: Shrek!

0:03:12 > 0:03:14BIRD SQUAWKS

0:03:15 > 0:03:16Oh! Argh!

0:03:16 > 0:03:18He-e-elp!

0:03:18 > 0:03:21All done.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23No! No!

0:03:23 > 0:03:24No! Whoa!

0:03:25 > 0:03:27No!

0:03:29 > 0:03:30That was close!

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Aw, now that's sweet.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35- Shrek. Shrek!- Watch out!

0:03:39 > 0:03:41Whoa!

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Brb-brb-brb!

0:03:43 > 0:03:45- Liquorice?- Oh...

0:03:45 > 0:03:46Hey, Shrek!

0:03:46 > 0:03:47I hope you're insured!

0:03:49 > 0:03:51That house cost me a lot of dough-ough-ough!

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Whoa!!!

0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Is there a doctor in the house? - Sorry about that, Ginge!

0:03:56 > 0:03:58That's close.

0:03:58 > 0:03:59Whoa!

0:04:00 > 0:04:02FIONA YELPS AND HOLLERS

0:04:05 > 0:04:06BOTH: Oh, no!

0:04:08 > 0:04:10BOTH: Whoa-argh!

0:04:14 > 0:04:16I can see! I can see!

0:04:16 > 0:04:17Oh!

0:04:17 > 0:04:18Oh, never mind.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22Fiona!

0:04:22 > 0:04:24ECHOING AND DISTANT HOWLING

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Shrek, uh, this isn't another one of those shortcuts, is it?

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Just get a move on.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32- OK. I'm not afraid.- Urgh.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Fiona!- I can do this.

0:04:35 > 0:04:36I'm a noble steed.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39It's all right, it's just a park with no children and no playground.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43Argh! Shrek! Shrek!

0:04:43 > 0:04:46I feel dead people.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Uh...

0:04:48 > 0:04:51Are you getting the willies?

0:04:51 > 0:04:56The trembles, the shakes, the heebie-jeebies?

0:04:56 > 0:04:57Stop messing with me, Shrek!

0:04:57 > 0:04:59This place is already creeping me out.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of ghosts.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04- I'm not afraid. - SHREK CHUCKLES

0:05:04 > 0:05:06- GOOD!- Uh!

0:05:06 > 0:05:07What a crack up!

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Shrek! Shrek, wait up!

0:05:11 > 0:05:14DISTANT HOWLING

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Talk about rewriting history...

0:05:18 > 0:05:20GHOSTLY ROARING

0:05:20 > 0:05:23Well, looks like Farquaad's still trying to compensate for something.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25I wonder what that could be.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28I don't know, this is just plain freaky.

0:05:28 > 0:05:30I wonder if he's behind all this.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32That's just crazy talk!

0:05:32 > 0:05:33GHOSTLY CACKLING

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Sh!

0:05:40 > 0:05:42DONKEY GASPS

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Now I'm seeing things!

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Can we get out of here, please?

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Sure, of course!

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Now, you wouldn't happen to have

0:05:49 > 0:05:51another carriage in your pocket, would you?

0:05:51 > 0:05:52Donkeys don't HAVE pockets!

0:05:52 > 0:05:55But some of us do have wings!

0:05:55 > 0:05:56HE WHISTLES

0:05:56 > 0:05:58WHISTLE ECHOES

0:05:59 > 0:06:02CRUMBLING AND GROWLING

0:06:02 > 0:06:04- ROARING - Uh-oh, wrong dragon!

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Wrong whistle!

0:06:05 > 0:06:06FIENDISH CACKLING

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Farquaad!

0:06:08 > 0:06:10What have you done with my wife?!

0:06:10 > 0:06:13Your wife? Don't you mean your widow?

0:06:13 > 0:06:15I know I seen you die in the first movie!

0:06:15 > 0:06:17You fools!

0:06:17 > 0:06:19This time it's your turn to be the entree!

0:06:19 > 0:06:22OK, my sweet, take care of them!

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Bon appetit! HE CACKLES

0:06:25 > 0:06:27- DONKEY WHISTLES - Will you stop that!

0:06:29 > 0:06:30DONKEY CONTINUES WHISTLING

0:06:30 > 0:06:32Shut it!

0:06:32 > 0:06:34- BOTH: Argh!- You can go first!

0:06:34 > 0:06:35I'll be the dessert!

0:06:35 > 0:06:36Oh, great(!)

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Whoo!

0:06:38 > 0:06:39That's my girl!

0:06:39 > 0:06:41DRAGON ROARS

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Hey, baby, I was hoping you'd show up!

0:06:46 > 0:06:49- Princess at three o'clock!- Help!

0:06:49 > 0:06:51- Hey, Princess!- Fiona!

0:06:51 > 0:06:53THEY SCREAM

0:06:58 > 0:06:59Whoa!

0:07:04 > 0:07:06BOTH: Whoa-oa!

0:07:06 > 0:07:07Waaaaargh!

0:07:07 > 0:07:09SHREK BREAKS WIND AND DRAGON GRUNTS

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Oops! Sorry!

0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Whoa!- I'm coming in!

0:07:15 > 0:07:18- Dive! Dive!- Dive! Dive! Dive!

0:07:18 > 0:07:20This is Red Dragon. We're going in.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Whoo!

0:07:26 > 0:07:28DRAGON ROARS

0:07:28 > 0:07:30Evasive action!

0:07:31 > 0:07:32Lock and load!

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Whoo-hoo!

0:07:34 > 0:07:35Still...

0:07:35 > 0:07:37Still!

0:07:38 > 0:07:39Fire now!

0:07:41 > 0:07:42Attack wings, now!

0:07:45 > 0:07:46Turn and burn!

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Whoo-hoo!

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Ha-ha, like I always say -

0:07:52 > 0:07:54behind every successful donkey,

0:07:54 > 0:07:56there's a fire-breathing dragon.

0:08:00 > 0:08:01FARQUAAD CACKLES

0:08:05 > 0:08:08You might as well stop struggling, Princess.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11Soon, you and I will be together for ever.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13With you as my spirit queen,

0:08:13 > 0:08:15I'll be king of the underworld!

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Over my dead body!

0:08:17 > 0:08:18Exactly!

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Over she goes, Thelonious.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22HE CACKLES

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Thelonious?!- Sorry, Princess.

0:08:30 > 0:08:31No! Nitwit!

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- Not with you on it!- Huh?

0:08:33 > 0:08:35FIONA GRUNTS AND GROANS

0:08:35 > 0:08:38THELONIOUS GROANS LOUDLY

0:08:38 > 0:08:39Oh!

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Sorry, Thelonious!

0:08:41 > 0:08:42Never mind him.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44See you on the other side, Princess.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45Never!

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Stop playing hard to get!

0:08:51 > 0:08:53- Stop it!- You know I'm irresistible.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55- Ah!- Fiona!

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Shrek!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Impossible! I thought they were dragon food!

0:08:58 > 0:08:59We'll save you!

0:09:02 > 0:09:04- Are you OK?- I think so.

0:09:04 > 0:09:05FARQUAAD LAUGHS FIENDISHLY

0:09:05 > 0:09:06I don't think so!

0:09:10 > 0:09:13ALL: Whoa-oa-oa!

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Splendid!

0:09:15 > 0:09:18They all fall for me sooner or later.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20THEY SCREAM

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Cut!

0:09:23 > 0:09:24Uh-oh!

0:09:24 > 0:09:26SHREK GROANS AND STRAINS

0:09:28 > 0:09:30ALL: ARGH!

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Fiona!

0:09:32 > 0:09:36- Yes?- My short, furry life is flashing before my eyes!

0:09:36 > 0:09:40- I love you!- I love you too!

0:09:40 > 0:09:43THEY SHRIEK

0:09:43 > 0:09:45- Ha-ha!- Whoo!

0:09:45 > 0:09:46Yee-ha!

0:09:47 > 0:09:49FARQUAAD CONTINUES LAUGHING

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Fiona? My ghostly queen?

0:09:53 > 0:09:54Where are you?

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Right over here, sweetie.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Oh, my angel!

0:10:01 > 0:10:03Oh, no! Not again!

0:10:03 > 0:10:06- We've got a loaded dragon here... - ..and we're not afraid to use it.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09Oh, it was just a joke! Stay away from me!

0:10:09 > 0:10:10Fire!

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Noooooo!

0:10:14 > 0:10:16MULTIPLE VOICES WAIL

0:10:37 > 0:10:39DRAGON SNORTS

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Thanks, Dragon.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48And thank you, Donkey.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50You truly are a noble steed.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53Look at you, Donkey, all covered in fur - I love ye!

0:10:53 > 0:10:55- Shucks!- Oh!

0:10:55 > 0:10:57I'm think I'm going to cry.

0:10:57 > 0:10:58Come on, baby, let's go home.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Let's go home and make some waffles!

0:11:04 > 0:11:05Waffles?

0:11:05 > 0:11:07It's a long story...

0:11:09 > 0:11:10Ah, finally, we're alone.

0:11:13 > 0:11:14SMOOCHING

0:11:14 > 0:11:16VARIOUS VOICES: Awww!

0:11:16 > 0:11:17What are you doing?!

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Uh, nothing?

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Ai-ai-ai-ai...

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Let the honeymoon begin!

0:11:27 > 0:11:29CHEERING

0:11:29 > 0:11:30FAIRY YELPS