0:00:02 > 0:00:10This film contains very strong language.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Real estate query engine
0:00:57 > 0:01:02is a virtual Rubicon of information, putting the lawyer himself....
0:01:02 > 0:01:06I'm going to take off, OK? I want to try and catch the two o'clock back.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- You're leaving? - Yeah.- What about intermission?
0:01:09 > 0:01:13- I don't think you can do that. - Just cover for me, OK? Get it all.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17- I guess.- Hey, listen, can we have your badge?
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Oh, yeah! Yeah! It's worth two free drinks at the meet and greet.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39I'm going to the airport. I'm kind of in a hurry, too.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44Er, sorry, your seat belt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
0:01:44 > 0:01:47I recommend you stop being such a faggot.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50You're in the back seat.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53# Now I've got a bone to pick with you... #
0:01:54 > 0:01:55See?!
0:01:55 > 0:01:57# Oh, one day
0:01:57 > 0:02:00# When you're looking back
0:02:01 > 0:02:02# You were young
0:02:02 > 0:02:05# And, man, you were sad
0:02:05 > 0:02:07# When you're young, you get sad
0:02:07 > 0:02:09# When you're young
0:02:10 > 0:02:12# You get sa-ad
0:02:12 > 0:02:17# And you get high
0:02:17 > 0:02:19# Oh, man... #
0:02:25 > 0:02:28METAL DETECTOR BEEPS
0:02:30 > 0:02:32BEEPING
0:02:33 > 0:02:36BUZZING
0:02:38 > 0:02:40BEEPING
0:02:41 > 0:02:43# Lord, I got high
0:02:44 > 0:02:47# Now you got a bone to pick with me
0:02:47 > 0:02:49# But I wish you'd let me be
0:02:51 > 0:02:52# Oh, one day
0:02:52 > 0:02:54# When you're looking back
0:02:55 > 0:02:57# You were young
0:02:57 > 0:02:59# And, man, you were sad
0:02:59 > 0:03:02# When you're young, you get sad
0:03:02 > 0:03:03# When you're young
0:03:04 > 0:03:07# You get sad
0:03:07 > 0:03:11# And you get high
0:03:11 > 0:03:13# Oh, man
0:03:17 > 0:03:19# Oh, man. #
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Hello?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Hello?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Hey, boy! Good boy, Orson.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Where's Mommy?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33Honey?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Heidi?
0:03:43 > 0:03:46FEMALE GROANS
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Heidi?!
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Mitch! What are you doing home?
0:03:57 > 0:04:02- You totally scared me! - I scared you?! For a second there, I thought that...
0:04:02 > 0:04:05I don't even want to say it.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Wow!
0:04:08 > 0:04:11That's like, er, pretty hard-core.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Yeah, I know. - No! No! I'm not judging.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18Don't be embarrassed. This is a major turn-on.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- Let's go with this. Is this what you do when I'm gone?- Wait!
0:04:21 > 0:04:24I do it myself every once in a while, but to magazines.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Mitch, we need to talk!
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Hello?!
0:04:27 > 0:04:30Aaaargh!
0:04:31 > 0:04:36Be honest, please tell me this is the first time this has happened.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Do you want me to be honest
0:04:38 > 0:04:42or do you want me to tell you it's the first time?
0:04:42 > 0:04:46- Jesus! What is wrong with you? - Nothing is wrong with me!
0:04:46 > 0:04:50- I tried to tell you about this. - What?! When?!
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- All the time! - Like, like when?
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- Like when we're in bed and stuff. - In bed?
0:04:57 > 0:05:00I thought you were just talking dirty.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Well, I was. But I was being serious.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09- You said some really sick stuff. - Admit it,
0:05:09 > 0:05:13we haven't exactly been living the most exciting lives in the world!
0:05:13 > 0:05:18This is a totally different kind of satisfaction for me.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20- It's purely sexual!- Whoo!
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Oh...
0:05:23 > 0:05:25I'm really sorry!
0:05:27 > 0:05:30DOORBELL RINGS
0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Hello.- Yeah?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I'm here for the gangbang.
0:05:46 > 0:05:50You look a little pale, Mitch. You need to breathe.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52I don't wanna breathe.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56You should be proud of yourself. Do you have any idea how hard it is
0:05:56 > 0:06:00to land a girl who's as sexually enlightened as Heidi?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03I wasn't looking for a girl like that.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Columbus wasn't looking for America, my man,
0:06:05 > 0:06:08but that worked out for everybody.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12I just want to thank you guys one last time for being here.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- It's the best day ever. - Don't even start with me, Frank.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- You need to walk away ASAP. - What?!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20You need to get out, Frankie.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23MUSIC: "The Bridal Chorus" By Wagner
0:06:26 > 0:06:29It's now or never. Get out while you're still single.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33- I'm not single.- She's 30 yards away. You're single right now.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Marissa's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Once you give that six months, you don't think that's going to change?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44I got a wife, kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47There's my wife. See that?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Hi, honey. Judging, watching. "Look at the baby."
0:06:50 > 0:06:53She's coming, Beanie. Let it go.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59All right, I'm going to be the first to say congratulations to you, then.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Don't listen to him. - I need my inhaler.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Thank you, Daddy.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10It takes a man to give away an angel.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14- You look beautiful. Great! - HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together
0:07:20 > 0:07:22to join Franklyn...
0:07:22 > 0:07:25HE COUGHS: Don't do it!
0:07:28 > 0:07:31My throat's dry. I'm sorry. I'm a smoker.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33OK...
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- # Turn around - Every now and then
0:07:36 > 0:07:38# I get a little bit lonely
0:07:38 > 0:07:40# And you're never coming round
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- # Turn around - Every now and then
0:07:42 > 0:07:44# I get a little bit tired
0:07:44 > 0:07:47# Of listening to the sound of my tears
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- # Turn around - Every now and then
0:07:49 > 0:07:51# I get a little bit nervous
0:07:51 > 0:07:53# That the best of all the years have gone by
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- # Turn around - Every now and then
0:07:56 > 0:07:58# I get a little bit terrified
0:07:58 > 0:08:00# I see the fucking look in your eye
0:08:00 > 0:08:04# Turn around, bright eyes
0:08:04 > 0:08:05# Every now and then I fall apart
0:08:05 > 0:08:08# Turn around, bright eyes
0:08:08 > 0:08:12# Fucking every now and then I fall apart
0:08:12 > 0:08:14# And I need you now tonight
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- # I fucking need you more than ever - Than ever... #
0:08:17 > 0:08:20SINGS SOFTLY: # Look in your eye
0:08:20 > 0:08:22# And then I fall apart I need you more... #
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Mitch Martin?
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Yeah.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Nicole!
0:08:32 > 0:08:33My God!
0:08:33 > 0:08:38This is crazy! I-I can't believe it's you!
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Oh! Oh...God!
0:08:41 > 0:08:46- What are you doing here? - I was invited.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Yeah... Er, the last time that I had heard,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52you had, er, moved to,
0:08:52 > 0:08:54- what do you call it?- Denver.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Ah, the Sunshine State. Unb...
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Denver! Gorgeous! Gorgeous!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Wh...
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- Are you OK?- No.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10No, I'm, er... Or, yeah. I just, er...
0:09:10 > 0:09:13I feel a little...(fucked up.)
0:09:13 > 0:09:18Yeah. Marissa told me about your girlfriend. I'm very sorry.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24- The thing about that one is that it's not just that.- Mm-hm.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26It's a combination of things.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Er, we had a dog, we had a great place.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31But all just... HE WHISTLES
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Just... Mm-hm.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36You know what? You should have some of this.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- What's in this one?- Coffee.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- Ow!- Shit!- Jesus!
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- I...- Ow!- I am so sorry!
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- Don't touch. Mitch, really. - I can fix it.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54THEY ARGUE
0:09:54 > 0:09:58What are you doing to this poor girl? Stop it. I got it.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- I got it. - No. Inappropriate.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03- Sweetie, there's a bathroom... - Yes.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- Mitch, honey. Hon.- Yeah?
0:10:05 > 0:10:09- Why don't you get some air? - No! Wait a second.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- Yeah?- Put in a good word for me.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13Yeah. OK.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15# Yodel-lay
0:10:15 > 0:10:18# Yodel-lay, yodel-lay-hee-hoo
0:10:18 > 0:10:20# Sparkling
0:10:21 > 0:10:23# Clear and lovely
0:10:23 > 0:10:25# You're my
0:10:26 > 0:10:28# Lady. #
0:10:28 > 0:10:32You're the lady, Marissa! Marissa, you're the lady.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Let's say...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48- Can't hear you! - ..glad and...
0:10:48 > 0:10:53Excuse me. I'd like to say I'm really glad and proud to be here tonight.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I'm glad Frank's dad made it out. That's awesome.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01- I haven't seen him in eight years. Congratulations.- I love you, Dad!
0:11:02 > 0:11:06True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love,
0:11:06 > 0:11:10and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego
0:11:10 > 0:11:13and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom,
0:11:13 > 0:11:16blindfolded, like a goddamn magic show,
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- ready to double-team your girlfriend, and it stops...- It stops right there!
0:11:20 > 0:11:24I think what my friend is trying to say is that true love is blind.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Let's raise our glasses.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Salut. Health and happiness. Cheers, everybody.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36I love you so much, Frankie. I love you!
0:11:36 > 0:11:40I'm not a talker. I'm not a talker! I love you, man! Congratulations.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03This is practically on campus! It's sick!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- This is great! - How'd you land this place?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08It was pretty easy, actually.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12- A professor lived here for 30 years, and then...he died.- That's awesome!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16That's awesome. Come on.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Hey, er, a little house-warming. To new beginnings!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Thanks.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25Er, actually,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28I gave this to you for your wedding.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- This model?- Er, no.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33This exact one. Yeah.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed. I'm sorry.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41It's OK. I hope you like it.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I love it. Thank you.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- This place is unbelievable. - You like it?
0:12:46 > 0:12:49I don't know why you're still depressed.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- It's the best thing that's happened to us.- Us?
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Yeah, us. Do not get selfish on me. Stay with me.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58You put as bar in over there. Right?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01You could put a hot tub almost anywhere.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Max, can you earmuff it for me?
0:13:04 > 0:13:09We are going to get so much ass. I'm talking, like, crazy boy-band ass.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13That sounds like fun, but I need time to get my life back together.
0:13:13 > 0:13:19- What we need to do is throw a big kick-ass party.- Absolutely. Break it in. Meet the neighbours.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23- Come on. Know what I'm talking about?- Ow. Stop it.- Break it in.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26The real-estate guy was adamant...
0:13:26 > 0:13:30I don't think you realise what a huge opportunity this is for you.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- Girls love guys in your situation. - Uh-huh.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- What situation? - Mitch, you're on the rebound.
0:13:35 > 0:13:41You're an injured fawn who's being re-released back into the wild.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- BABY CRIES - Sorry.- Be careful.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Sorry.- Don't say it to me. Say it to the baby.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49- OK. I'm sorry.- It's OK. It's OK.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- Please... - I think we should go tropical.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56- Uh-huh.- Sand from wall-to-wall. I know a great sand guy...
0:13:56 > 0:14:01- Sand, in here?!- Foam! Whatever! ..You understand what I'm talking about?
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Absolutely.- Good. - I just need to run it by Marissa.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10- I'm messing with you guys! - Not funny.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- It's a joke. - Now the baby's upset.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17# And here I go again on my own
0:14:18 > 0:14:22# Going down the only road I've ever known... #
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Hey!
0:14:24 > 0:14:27# Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone... #
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- HEY!- Oh, hey, honey!
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- I've brought you an iced tea! - Oh, no, thanks. I got a fresh beer.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Can you turn that off for a second?!
0:14:38 > 0:14:42Wow. That's really...loud.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Yeah, thanks. I took the restrictor plate off.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Give the red dragon a little more juice. Keep that on the down low.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52This is not exactly street-legal. Hey, Mike!
0:14:52 > 0:14:55- Right.- So, what's up?
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I was hoping we might get to those thank-you notes tomorrow night.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Honey, I got Mitch's thing tomorrow night.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Oh, that's right! I totally forgot.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08- I can skip it. - Oh...no. No!
0:15:08 > 0:15:13Don't be silly. I mean, I wouldn't want you changing your whole...
0:15:13 > 0:15:15life just for me! Er...
0:15:15 > 0:15:19I'll give Lara a call. We'll plan a girl's night.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Thanks. You're the best.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Just as long as you promise to take it easy.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28- What do you mean? - You know exactly what I mean.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32You've come a long way since Frank The Tank. We don't want him back!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Honey, Frank The Tank is not coming back.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37That part of me is over.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40It's water under the bridge. I promise.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
0:15:49 > 0:15:52CHEERING AND LAUGHING
0:15:53 > 0:15:58It's incredible. How did you do this? With all the people and the speakers!
0:15:58 > 0:16:01I thought we were having a small get-together.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05This IS a small get-together. That's why you've got the house, brother.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- You're having fun, right? - I'm having a great time!- Honestly?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- Great time!- Good. - What else have you got planned,
0:16:11 > 0:16:14like, a student band or something?
0:16:14 > 0:16:18Yeah. That's it. I've got a student alt-rock band coming on stage next.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22I'm worth 3½ million that the government knows about.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25I got more electronics than a Kiss concert.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29You think I'd roll out the red carpet for a fucking marching band?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Make sure you can see the stage.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Excuse me. Pardon me.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38- I just want to get through there... if you don't mind.- Thank you.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42- This is the guy! This is his house! - What's up, man!
0:16:42 > 0:16:46No! That's my friend Mitch! You're mistaking... Mitch owns the house.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Oh, OK.- Yeah. - Anyway, you need to hit this.
0:16:49 > 0:16:54- Yeah!- I appreciate it, but I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58Besides, I got a big day tomorrow. But you guys have a great time.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00A big day?! Doing what?
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Well, actually, a pretty nice little Saturday.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05We're going to go to Home Depot,
0:17:05 > 0:17:08buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12Maybe Bed, Bath And Beyond. I don't know if we'll have time...
0:17:12 > 0:17:15ALL LAUGH
0:17:15 > 0:17:18You know what, give me that thing! I'll do one.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20He's gonna do one!
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Oh! That's a talented man right here!
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Whoo! That's what I'm talking about!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Fill her up again!
0:17:35 > 0:17:40So good! Once it hits your lips, it's so good!
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Thanks, guys. This'll be happening here all year.
0:17:43 > 0:17:47Don't burn yourselves out tonight. I want to thank you for coming
0:17:47 > 0:17:50to the official Mitch Martin Freedom Festival.
0:17:52 > 0:17:57For those who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he's the very successful,
0:17:57 > 0:18:00very disease-free gentleman standing by the mini-bar.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Thank you.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Now, courtesy of Speaker City,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08which are slashing prices on everything
0:18:08 > 0:18:11from beepers to DVD players,
0:18:11 > 0:18:14give a warm Harrison University welcome
0:18:14 > 0:18:17to my pal, and your favourite,
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Mr Snoop Dogg!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25# Yeah, yeah
0:18:25 > 0:18:26# A-huh-huh
0:18:26 > 0:18:28# You know what?
0:18:28 > 0:18:29# I'm thinking of a master plan
0:18:29 > 0:18:32# Cos ain't nothing but sweat inside my hand
0:18:32 > 0:18:33# So I dig into my pockets
0:18:33 > 0:18:34# All my money is spent
0:18:34 > 0:18:37# So I dig deeper but still coming up with lint
0:18:37 > 0:18:39# So I start my mission Leave my residence
0:18:39 > 0:18:42# I'm thinking, How can I get some dead presidents? #
0:18:42 > 0:18:45THEY ALL CHEER
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Whoo! Whoo!
0:18:53 > 0:18:57THEY CHANT: Frank The Tank! Frank The Tank!
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Whoo!
0:19:00 > 0:19:03You know it! You know it!
0:19:03 > 0:19:05Whoo!
0:19:05 > 0:19:08ALL CHEER WILDLY
0:19:08 > 0:19:10# A pen and a paper a stereo, a tape
0:19:10 > 0:19:13# Of me and Warren G And a big fat plate of chicken wings
0:19:13 > 0:19:14# Cos that's my favourite thing... #
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- Hey, you're that guy!- What?
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- Mitch-A-Palooza from the poster. - Oh, yeah. That's me.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23This party is great. Nice work!
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Well, my friends, they put it on for me.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29They're kind of re-releasing me into the wild.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- What?! What are you talking about? - Nothing. Sorry.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34# Time to have some fame
0:19:34 > 0:19:36# What you need is some game
0:19:36 > 0:19:37# Say what? Say what?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39# To get your paper made
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- # Say what? Say what? - Oh, babe
0:19:41 > 0:19:42# Yeah, yeah
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- # In the world of paper, paper - Check me out, y'all
0:19:45 > 0:19:46# Did somebody say make money, money,
0:19:46 > 0:19:48# Make money, money, money
0:19:48 > 0:19:50# Make money, money, make money, money, money
0:19:50 > 0:19:53# Say make money, make money, money, money
0:19:53 > 0:19:55# Make money, money, make money, money, money... #
0:19:55 > 0:19:59Take money, money... We're going streaking! Yeah!
0:20:01 > 0:20:03CROWD JEERS
0:20:03 > 0:20:06I'm sorry... Sorry.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10We're going streaking through the quad and into the gymnasium.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Come on, everybody! Come on, Snoop!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Snoop-a-loop! Snoop-a...
0:20:16 > 0:20:20No! It's cool! It's cool! I'm cool! Bring your green hat.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Let's go. Come on, everybody. We're going! Here we go.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Man! Man! Man, put the music back on.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Let's get the party back! THEY CHEER
0:20:30 > 0:20:34- Oh, tell her! Tell her! - Marissa, I totally forgot!
0:20:34 > 0:20:38It's a little belated, but we got you the perfect wedding present.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I told you, you don't have to get me anything.
0:20:40 > 0:20:45Our friend Ashley had this guy come over and teach a blow-job class.
0:20:45 > 0:20:46- Oh!- It was incredible.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50- Yeah.- A class?- He's really good so we had to book him way in advance.
0:20:50 > 0:20:56- Why should- I- go to a class? Bernard should go to a class. I swear, the man is orally challenged.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Wait a second. Is that guy...?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01- Whoo! Whoo!- Oh...my God!
0:21:01 > 0:21:05- Wh...?- That's disgusting!
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Why am I looking at that?!
0:21:08 > 0:21:12Wait. Why are you slowing down? Just drive!
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Whoo!
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- Frank?!- No way!
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Frank!- Hey, honey! Hey!
0:21:22 > 0:21:26- What the hell are you doing?! - We're streaking.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29We're going up through the quad to the gymnasium.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32- Who's streaking? - There's...
0:21:32 > 0:21:37- There's more coming. - Frank, get in the car!
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- Everybody's doing it.- Now!- OK.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Whoa! Scoot over.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50OK. OK.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54- Ah! Hey! Hey, ladies.- Hey.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- Hey, Frank!- Hey.- Looks like it's a little cold out there!
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Please, guys!
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Honey, do you think KFC's still open?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07THEY GIGGLE
0:22:13 > 0:22:16ALARM CLOCK BUZZES
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Oh! Oh, shit!
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Oh...
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Good morning.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Now that was a party. Mmm.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Since when are you so shy?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38No, I'm not. I just, er...
0:22:38 > 0:22:42Did I snore last night? Sometimes I snore when I'm drunk.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47I-I don't remember. I-I don't think so.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52Erm, listen, about last night... I-I...
0:22:52 > 0:22:55I just got out of a very serious
0:22:55 > 0:22:58and traumatic relationship and I...
0:22:58 > 0:23:01I'm kind of in a weird place right now.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- What? - Relax, Rich, it's not a big deal.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Mitch...with an M.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Right. Erm, look...
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Whatever. We were just having a little fun.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17You have nothing to worry about.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20N-No. Yeah, you're right. I-I'm OK with it.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- I just...- Yeah!- It's casual.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25I gotta go to class, so...
0:23:25 > 0:23:28So, how do we do this? Shall I...? Do I?
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- Do you want to leave me your number or...?- You don't even have to worry.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34OK.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39See you around.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Bye.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45I love you.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49"At Speaker City, we've slashed prices on everything."
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Come on. "Our staff will educate you
0:23:52 > 0:23:56"on a wide selection of home-theatre equipment and accessories."
0:23:56 > 0:23:59"Show us a competitor's price.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02"We'll beat it, or I'll give you the keys to the store."
0:24:02 > 0:24:06- HE MUMBLES - "The only thing that sounds better than our speakers
0:24:06 > 0:24:08are our prices." Prices!
0:24:08 > 0:24:12What do you think? Honestly? Shoot me straight.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Really good. You look great.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16- Really?- Yeah. Yeah.
0:24:16 > 0:24:21It kinda went a little bit just... It got crazy last night.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Yeah. I mean, I still haven't heard from Frank.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- I don't know where he... - Hello!
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Yeah. Come on in.- Jesus!
0:24:30 > 0:24:34- Is this one of your guys? - Your fire hazard's over here.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36What are you doing, man?
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Wow! Cheese! Is that you?
0:24:42 > 0:24:46Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51- (Who is this?)- Beanie, you remember Cheese - Rodney's kid brother?
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- Actually, my name isn't Cheese. It's Gordon Pritchard.- Oh, yeah!
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Ch-ee-se! Yeah!
0:24:57 > 0:25:01- Didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?- I got out.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Cool, man. I'm glad you did.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08You fellas have a good time last night?
0:25:08 > 0:25:11There might be some whippets around if you want 'em!
0:25:11 > 0:25:15- No, thanks. I'm working. - Working what? Campus patrol?!
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Hmm. Try again. - Are you a Jehovah's Witness?
0:25:18 > 0:25:21I'm the dean! Dean Pritchard.
0:25:21 > 0:25:26Yeah. And as of this morning, this house has been re-zoned.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Yeah. It is now exclusively for campus use only.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34You can't just do that! I've already paid the first and last month's rent.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Take a look at that. You have a week to vacate the premises.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Thank you for your co-operation. Great.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- Can I ask you a question? - Absolutely not.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48It's been good seeing you guys. It looks like you're doing great.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Frank, this is a safe place,
0:26:00 > 0:26:05a place where we can feel free sharing our feelings.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- We can say anything here.- Anything?
0:26:13 > 0:26:16It's OK, honey. That's why we came.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Well, er...
0:26:21 > 0:26:25I guess, deep down, I'm feeling a little confused.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27I mean...
0:26:27 > 0:26:31you get married and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy!
0:26:31 > 0:26:33I don't feel different.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36I mean, take yesterday, for example.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner...which was lovely,
0:26:40 > 0:26:44and I happened to look over at a certain point during the meal
0:26:44 > 0:26:47and see a waitress taking an order, and...
0:26:47 > 0:26:49And I found myself wondering, er,
0:26:49 > 0:26:52what colour her underpants might be.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Her panties. Er...
0:26:56 > 0:27:01Odds are they're probably basic white cotton underpants.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06But I started thinking, "Maybe... Maybe they're silk panties.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09"Maybe it's... Maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's, er...
0:27:09 > 0:27:14"Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about."
0:27:14 > 0:27:16- And, er, I started feeling...- Huh!
0:27:16 > 0:27:21What? I thought we were in the trust tree...in the nest. Are we not?!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24- We are.- OK. - We are. It's OK. Mm.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28Mm-hm. It's OK. It's OK. Please, continue.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31I-I don't know where I was going with that. I...
0:27:32 > 0:27:36What I'm trying to say is that, now that I'm married,
0:27:36 > 0:27:39I'm definitely feeling a little freaked out
0:27:39 > 0:27:43about the fact that I'm gonna have sex with only one person...
0:27:45 > 0:27:47..for the rest of my life.
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Walsh tells me your San Diego trip was a blast.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Oh, yeah!- How was Hooters?
0:27:54 > 0:27:58- I actually didn't go to Hooters. - Oh, yeah! Right.
0:27:58 > 0:28:01- Skittles?- No, thanks.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03Listen, I got a call from Annetti.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07He tells me that your Sunshine Square proposal is totally fucked.
0:28:07 > 0:28:12- What's wrong with it?- For one thing, it violates the zoning restrictions
0:28:12 > 0:28:16set forth in the National Historical Preservation Act of 1966,
0:28:16 > 0:28:19most notably, clause four.
0:28:19 > 0:28:22- Shall I continue? - I'm familiar with that idea...
0:28:22 > 0:28:24- Honey! - Hi, Dad! Am I interrupting?- No!
0:28:24 > 0:28:26- Hi.- Hi.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30I don't think you've met my daughter. Darcie, Mitch Martin.
0:28:30 > 0:28:34- Hi. Nice to meet you, Mitch. - Hi. Nice to meet you.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38- How was the slumber party?- Great. You know, movies and popcorn.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41Mmn. She's an angel.
0:28:41 > 0:28:46It makes me sound old, but I can't believe how fast she's growing up!
0:28:46 > 0:28:50- Dad! Stop!- Sorry, honey, but it's true. To think that in seven months,
0:28:50 > 0:28:53- you'll be graduating from high school!- Dad!
0:28:53 > 0:28:56You OK?
0:28:57 > 0:29:00- I thought you said high school. - Yeah.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04- Shocking, isn't it?- Yes, it is.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15- Give me a break!- Hey, Mitch!
0:29:18 > 0:29:21- Hey, man.- Hey.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24- Did you have a good day? - Not too bad.- Yeah.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27- What's going on? - Oh, I just thought maybe
0:29:27 > 0:29:31I could crash here tonight, if that's all right.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35- Marissa's going through some personal stuff and...- Mm-hm.
0:29:35 > 0:29:39Personal stuff like you running through the neighbourhood drunk and naked?
0:29:39 > 0:29:41That...
0:29:41 > 0:29:44and some other stuff. Yeah.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47- No problem.- OK. - Make yourself at home.- Thanks.
0:29:47 > 0:29:51Gentlemen, we're discussing a brand-new way to look at a fraternity.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54You need to forget about all the normal rules
0:29:54 > 0:29:57that apply to college and society.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59This is a very big idea, my friends.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03We are talking about a non-exclusive egalitarian brotherhood
0:30:03 > 0:30:07where community status and, more importantly, age
0:30:07 > 0:30:10have no bearing whatsoever.
0:30:10 > 0:30:14- Yes - the guy who probably won't get in.- I go to school here and...- OK.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18What sort of association will you have with the actual university?
0:30:18 > 0:30:21- Who are these people? - I don't know!
0:30:21 > 0:30:24Legally speaking, there'll be a loose affiliation,
0:30:24 > 0:30:28but we will give nothing back to the academic community,
0:30:28 > 0:30:31as well as provide no public service of any kind.
0:30:31 > 0:30:33- Beanie, what's going on here? - Guys,
0:30:33 > 0:30:36this is a very special occasion.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38The Godfather himself is kind enough
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- to grace us with his presence. - ALL: Yeah!
0:30:41 > 0:30:45This is his house! He lives here! He speaks 20 feet away!
0:30:45 > 0:30:49- That's for you. - We need to talk. Kitchen.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53Sit good for me. I want to talk to Uncle Mitch.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56There you go.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58- How long have these people been here? - All day.
0:30:58 > 0:31:03- That party we had has given us all kinds of street cred.- What?!
0:31:03 > 0:31:06Mitch, this is called rush. We're officially starting a fraternity.
0:31:06 > 0:31:10- I like it! It's genius. - You've got to be kidding!
0:31:10 > 0:31:15This house is zoned specifically for social services and student housing.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18- A fraternity solves both. Right? - Mmn-hmn.
0:31:18 > 0:31:22But this is my house! I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25- We're not at college. - I understand!- It makes no sense!
0:31:25 > 0:31:28You're focused on all the wrong sort of details.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32- Did you have a good time last night? - I had an awesome time!
0:31:32 > 0:31:36I know that you had an awesome time. I think the entire town knows.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39I'm trying to ask Mitch if he had an awesome time.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43- I had a good time.- Wouldn't you want those good times to keep going?
0:31:43 > 0:31:46- God!- More good... - I mean...
0:31:46 > 0:31:50I don't understand why it's so hard for you to admit that you want this.
0:31:50 > 0:31:5240 guys out there want this.
0:31:52 > 0:31:56Look, I appreciate your enthusiasm. I know you guys are trying to help,
0:31:56 > 0:31:59but the truth of the matter is,
0:31:59 > 0:32:02I've had a hell of a day, an even worse month,
0:32:02 > 0:32:05and the fact is I got 40 strangers out in my living room,
0:32:05 > 0:32:08and all I want to do is get some fucking sleep!
0:32:08 > 0:32:12I'm sorry, but we're not starting a fraternity.
0:32:12 > 0:32:16I don't know why you've got to do it in front of my kid, with the effing.
0:32:16 > 0:32:20All you have to do is say earmuffs. Earmuffs. You can say fuck! Shit!
0:32:20 > 0:32:26- Cock! Balls! - I'm just proving a point. You don't have to celebrate it.- I'm sorry.
0:32:26 > 0:32:30You let down Frank. You let down me. You let down Max, most importantly.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33I'm having a hard time figuring out why I take time out of my schedule
0:32:33 > 0:32:37to help you get over... Earmuffs. ..that whore you dated.
0:32:37 > 0:32:41I'm going to go out, see the others. Uncle Mitch is sorry.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46Say yes. Yes.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50TYRES SCREECH
0:32:52 > 0:32:56All right, here's the deal. Listen up! Altogether, we pick 14 pledges.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59- Wait, who's this guy?! - Oh, that's Blue.
0:32:59 > 0:33:04- Yeah.- He's an old navy vet who hangs around my store. He's legit.
0:33:04 > 0:33:08- He looks like he's 100 years old. He wants to pledge?!- Are you kidding me?
0:33:08 > 0:33:12The old man river won't shut up about it. Show time!
0:33:13 > 0:33:16MUSIC: "Master Of Puppets" by Metallica
0:33:23 > 0:33:24Shit!
0:33:26 > 0:33:29Don't make this any harder on yourself!
0:33:41 > 0:33:46- What's going on?- You tell anyone about this, I'll fucking kill you.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49- Oh!- We'll have him back by tonight. OK, sweetheart?
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Let's go!
0:34:00 > 0:34:03Let's go. Nice and easy. There we go.
0:34:12 > 0:34:16Congratulations, gentleman. You should be very proud of yourselves.
0:34:16 > 0:34:20Each and every one of you has been hand-picked
0:34:20 > 0:34:24to represent our inaugural pledge class.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26Over the next 21 days,
0:34:26 > 0:34:30you're all going to experience intense mental
0:34:30 > 0:34:32and physical strain.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38- Frank, just pace yourself. - Copy that.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40I got a little overexcited. Sorry.
0:34:40 > 0:34:45At this point, you may be asking yourself,
0:34:45 > 0:34:49"Why am I holding this 30lb cinder block in my hands?"
0:34:50 > 0:34:53You might also ask yourself,
0:34:53 > 0:34:57"Why does this cinder block
0:34:57 > 0:35:01"have a long piece of string tied to it?"
0:35:02 > 0:35:04And finally...
0:35:06 > 0:35:09Why is the other end of this string tied securely
0:35:09 > 0:35:11to your penis?
0:35:13 > 0:35:17And the answer, ladies, is trust.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21This is your first test.
0:35:21 > 0:35:25Spanish, do you trust that we've provided you with enough slack
0:35:25 > 0:35:29- so your block will land safely on the lawn?- Sir, yes, sir!
0:35:29 > 0:35:34- Blue...- Yes, sir?- Do you trust that I do not want to see you die here?
0:35:34 > 0:35:37- Sir, yes, sir!- Blue, you're my boy! - Thank you, sir.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42About face.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Step to the edge!
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Pledges, prepare for release!
0:35:54 > 0:35:58One! Two!
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Three! Release!
0:36:08 > 0:36:10HE SCREAMS
0:36:10 > 0:36:13It wasn't meant to happen like that!
0:36:13 > 0:36:15Walk it off, big guy.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18THEY CHANT # One, two, three, four
0:36:18 > 0:36:20# One, two, three, four
0:36:20 > 0:36:22# I've been laid more times than God
0:36:22 > 0:36:24# Frat sex is a creme broulade
0:36:24 > 0:36:26# One, two, three, four
0:36:26 > 0:36:28# One, two, three, four
0:36:28 > 0:36:30# I don't know, but it's been said
0:36:30 > 0:36:32# One more laugh and I'll be dead... #
0:36:32 > 0:36:36Faster! CHANTING CONTINUES
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Jesus! Who are these people?!
0:36:41 > 0:36:45Get security. We have an illegal off-road vehicle
0:36:45 > 0:36:46operating without a permit.
0:36:46 > 0:36:51- 'They've already been called, sir.' - Er, call them again.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58You know, it's been two weeks.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00How are these guys still a fraternity?
0:37:00 > 0:37:04They're not, sir. They've just been approved for temporary status.
0:37:04 > 0:37:09Half these guys don't even go to the school! One guy, he's like 90!
0:37:09 > 0:37:11That doesn't matter. They found a loophole.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14- A loophole? - Yes. Well, it's interesting, sir.
0:37:14 > 0:37:19As stupid as they appear, they're actually very good at paperwork!
0:37:19 > 0:37:22- It's quite an anomaly! - Is that funny?
0:37:22 > 0:37:25Are you a comic? Is that what you do now?
0:37:27 > 0:37:29This is me leaving. This is me leaving.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44- There he is! - What's going on, brother?
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Nothing. I'm just making some copies.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50- Mm-hm?- See you later.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52Hey, Mitch, hang on a second.
0:37:52 > 0:37:56- I heard you guys are starting up a fraternity.- Who told you that?!
0:37:56 > 0:38:00- Nobody. Is it true?- I don't know what you're talking about.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03Right(!) Well, it sounds cool, man. I want in.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07Listen to me, there is no fraternity!
0:38:07 > 0:38:10- I don't know what you're talking about.- You listen!
0:38:10 > 0:38:14I need this, OK? My wife, my job, my kids...
0:38:14 > 0:38:17Every day is exactly the same.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Oh, I go golfing on Sundays, but I hate golf!
0:38:20 > 0:38:22Don't blackball me, Mitch, please!
0:38:22 > 0:38:26I'm not blackballing you. We work together, Walsh,
0:38:26 > 0:38:30and I don't want to mix work with whatever it is I do at home.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33- And trust me, you're not missing anything, anyways.- Really?
0:38:33 > 0:38:36Heard you hooked up with Goldberg's daughter.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39- Oh!- Sorry. Sorry.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41And it's untrue.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50Hey, Mitch, all I'm saying is think about it, OK? Think about it!
0:38:50 > 0:38:53- Who cares if you work with the guy? - I do!
0:38:53 > 0:38:57- I have a career to worry about. - You need to start embracing this.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01- I am.- I don't think you appreciate everything I've done for you.
0:39:01 > 0:39:04- For me?- Do you think I like avoiding my wife and kids
0:39:04 > 0:39:08- to hang out with 19-year-old girls? - I do.- I'm doing this for you.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10Hello!
0:39:10 > 0:39:13- Hey, Nicole! How's it going?- Hi! - Who's this?
0:39:13 > 0:39:16- This is my daughter Amanda.- Hi!
0:39:16 > 0:39:19Hi, Amanda. You remember Nicole, right?
0:39:19 > 0:39:22We did a little chicken dancing at the wedding.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24- How you been? - Fine, thanks.- Good...
0:39:24 > 0:39:29I wanted to apologise to you. I hope I didn't embarrass you.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32- It's OK. You just embarrassed yourself.- Yes!
0:39:32 > 0:39:36- I brought you a house-warming gift. - Wow! That is really nice.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39It's just a CD holder for your desk or whatever...
0:39:39 > 0:39:42Yeah. That thing's a piece of crap. Awful.
0:39:42 > 0:39:46- What?- I stopped selling it. - Please... Hey, Beanie...
0:39:46 > 0:39:49- A lot of complaints.- Great. - Nice gesture.- It's cool.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52Hey, Godfather! What's up?!
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Yo! You the man!
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Did that guy call you the Godfather?
0:39:57 > 0:40:00He must be joking or something... Where are you guys living?
0:40:00 > 0:40:03We're staying with my dad for a while.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06The move's been a little rough on Amanda. So...
0:40:06 > 0:40:10My son Max turns six on Sunday. We're having a party for him,
0:40:10 > 0:40:13you know, petting zoo, clowns, stuff like that.
0:40:13 > 0:40:17- You guys are welcome. - You should definitely come!- OK!
0:40:17 > 0:40:20Hey, what do you guys like better - nurse or cheerleader?
0:40:22 > 0:40:25- Oh, hi, Nicole. - Hi, Frank.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28That's a nice doll you have there.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30Yeah, thanks. She's OK.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35- Did you have fun at the wedding? - Yeah, it was fun.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39I'm just staying here for right now.
0:40:39 > 0:40:43- We'll see you Sunday, then? - Sunday.- Great.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46- OK. Bye. Say bye.- Bye.
0:40:46 > 0:40:47Bye.
0:40:47 > 0:40:51# Ain't no sunshine when she's gone... #
0:40:54 > 0:40:58- 'Hi! You've reached Marissa... - And Frank!- Leave us a message.' BEEP!
0:40:58 > 0:41:03Hey, honey. It's me. Er, listen, just was, er, calling to check in.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07I've been kind of busy lately, a lot of paperwork, stuff like that.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10- Damn! - 'If you are satisfied, press one.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12'To re-record, press two.'
0:41:12 > 0:41:15Hey, Marissa. It's me.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18I'm probably going to be in the neighbourhood a little later.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22I didn't know if you want to get together for frozen yoghurt,
0:41:22 > 0:41:27or maybe a whole meal of food... if that would be agreeable. Stupid!
0:41:27 > 0:41:31'If you are satisfied, press one. To re-record, press two.'
0:41:32 > 0:41:36Hey, Marissa. It's Frank Ricard. Er...
0:41:36 > 0:41:40OK, ladies, the secret to a good BJ is focus.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43I don't care if it's your husband of ten years
0:41:43 > 0:41:47or some hot sailor you met at TGI Fridays a couple of months ago...
0:41:47 > 0:41:49who never did call me back.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52But that's neither here nor there.
0:41:52 > 0:41:56Grab your vegetables. THEY GIGGLE
0:41:57 > 0:42:00MUSIC: "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran
0:42:00 > 0:42:03Who's hungry? Who's hungry?
0:42:03 > 0:42:05Is this guy for real?
0:42:05 > 0:42:08He's fine. He's good. He's the best there is.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11Thumbs are down. Wrists are flexed.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13We're going to position ourselves for insertion.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18Ready? Do it.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Mind the stepchildren.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25Mind the stepchildren. Very good.
0:42:41 > 0:42:44Marissa. Come on. That's it.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46Mmm... Mmm...
0:42:46 > 0:42:51That's it. I like what I see. Don't be afraid to arch...
0:42:51 > 0:42:53INAUDIBLE
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Marissa, come on. That's it.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58# And I'm hungry like the wolf. #
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Everybody can learn from Marissa.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04I'm gonna take five. Continue.
0:43:04 > 0:43:06THEY GIGGLE
0:43:06 > 0:43:10Nice work, Marissa. Way to give 110%!
0:43:10 > 0:43:13You know, when I get back there
0:43:13 > 0:43:16I'm gonna show you something I call crouching tiger, hidden penis.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19Did you ever see that movie? I really like it
0:43:19 > 0:43:22cos of the flying and the magic!
0:43:22 > 0:43:25You bastard!
0:43:25 > 0:43:28Oh! Someone just made a bad mistake!
0:43:28 > 0:43:29Aagh!
0:43:29 > 0:43:33Aaaaargh!
0:43:36 > 0:43:40Jesus Christ, Frank. What the hell are you doing here?
0:43:40 > 0:43:43- You know this person? - I am so sorry. Are you hurt?
0:43:43 > 0:43:46- Yes, I'm hurt.- Oh...
0:43:56 > 0:44:00- You've outdone yourself, once again. - It's nice, right?
0:44:00 > 0:44:04- Spanish, what are you doing?! - Getting some water. It's crazy hot.
0:44:04 > 0:44:08Put your head back on. Are you nuts? It can be traumatic for the kids.
0:44:08 > 0:44:12- I'm sorry.- Don't sorry me. And shake the tail when you walk!
0:44:12 > 0:44:16- Take it easy!- You don't see me breaking the fourth wall.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18- Hey, guys!- Hey!- Nice costume.
0:44:18 > 0:44:21- Thanks.- This is a great party.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23- When'd you get here?- A minute ago.
0:44:23 > 0:44:27This is my boyfriend Mark. This is Mitch and Beanie.
0:44:27 > 0:44:31- How's it hanging, boys? - Pleasure to meet you...
0:44:31 > 0:44:34So, somebody told me you guys are in a fraternity.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37- Is that right? - THEY LAUGH
0:44:37 > 0:44:39- Is that true?- Er, not really.
0:44:39 > 0:44:42I mean, no. It's more like a social club.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44We just watch football and hang out.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47Hang out and spank each other, I bet, huh?!
0:44:47 > 0:44:50We don't take it too seriously.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53- Blue, there's no ice in my lemonade! - Sir, sorry, sir!
0:44:53 > 0:44:58- You drop down and you give me 10... Now!- Yes, sir!
0:44:58 > 0:45:01- Let's go!- That's Frank.
0:45:01 > 0:45:05I'm gonna go ahead and give you these. That's my work phone.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08- Speaker City, I own all six. - Hey, Max wants to open up his gifts.
0:45:08 > 0:45:12- I thought one would be all right. - All right. Come on in here, Max.
0:45:12 > 0:45:18Do you guys mind giving me a minute? We'll talk surround sound later. I'll cut you a deal.
0:45:18 > 0:45:22- How you doing, bud?- What a day! - I guess we can open Uncle Frank's.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25I don't know who's more excited, Frank or Max!
0:45:25 > 0:45:28Rip it up. Go at it! What could it be?
0:45:28 > 0:45:31- Could it be a space ship?- Yeah! - Let's see!
0:45:31 > 0:45:33Yeah!
0:45:33 > 0:45:36What do you think, Max? It's got three speeds.
0:45:43 > 0:45:45Damn it.
0:45:48 > 0:45:51Excuse me, I'll have one of those.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55- I'm Mark. What's your name?- Tracy.
0:45:55 > 0:46:00Hi. Nice meeting you...Tracy.
0:46:00 > 0:46:02Right on there. There we go.
0:46:02 > 0:46:05OK, you can go back out and play now.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08Come on. There.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Take your doll. OK.
0:46:12 > 0:46:16- I think she likes you. She ignores most people.- Well, I feel honoured.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19So, Mark...
0:46:19 > 0:46:23- He seems like an interesting guy. - He's harmless.
0:46:23 > 0:46:26- How long have you two been together? - Two years now.
0:46:26 > 0:46:30I told him I had a crush on you in school. I think I got him jealous.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33You had a crush on me? You gotta be kidding!
0:46:33 > 0:46:37I was obsessed with you! I mean, not in a dangerous way.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39I just watched you from a distance.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42How come you never asked me out?
0:46:42 > 0:46:45You were pretty intimidating back then.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47You were always with older guys.
0:46:47 > 0:46:51You had that Whitesnake jean jacket. You smoked Marlboro Reds.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53- You were way out of my league. - Mm-hm?!
0:46:53 > 0:46:57I still have the Whitesnake jean jacket.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00I'm still pretty intimidated by you!
0:47:07 > 0:47:10- You're bad!- You're right. I AM bad.
0:47:12 > 0:47:17- Oh, Jeez, I'm sorry. I was... - I guess we're not knocking, huh?
0:47:17 > 0:47:20Excuse me. I've got to go back to work.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23I'm just returning these band aids.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26What are you gonna do, tell on me?
0:47:26 > 0:47:29You can't, buddy. It's guy code, OK?
0:47:29 > 0:47:33Guys don't tell on other guys. That's, er, something chicks do.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39You're not a chick, are you?
0:47:40 > 0:47:45Phew. All right. Good talk. I'll see you out there.
0:47:53 > 0:47:56Hey there, buddy. Need a friend?
0:47:57 > 0:48:00Yeah, me too...
0:48:02 > 0:48:04Hey...
0:48:11 > 0:48:12Wow!
0:48:13 > 0:48:17- She's a beauty, ain't she? - Yeah. What kind of gun is this?
0:48:17 > 0:48:20That's a tranquilliser gun.
0:48:20 > 0:48:24If any of these little fuckers decide to freak out on the kids,
0:48:24 > 0:48:26I get to take them down.
0:48:26 > 0:48:30Ain't that right? What?! ..That's what I thought. Shut up.
0:48:30 > 0:48:33Hey-hey! Be careful with that.
0:48:33 > 0:48:36- That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market.- Huh!
0:48:36 > 0:48:38- Got her in Mexico.- Cool.- It is cool.
0:48:38 > 0:48:42They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from 100...
0:48:42 > 0:48:43Agh!
0:48:48 > 0:48:52Oh, yes! That's awesome!
0:48:53 > 0:48:57- What?- You just took one in the jugular, man!
0:48:58 > 0:49:01Ha! Whoa!
0:49:01 > 0:49:02Yes!
0:49:03 > 0:49:05Oh, my God!
0:49:06 > 0:49:10Oh, my God! I did! Is this bad? Is this bad?
0:49:10 > 0:49:14- You should pull that out. - HIS VOICE WARPS - That shit isn't cool.
0:49:16 > 0:49:20- IN DISTORTED VOICE: - Wait! Wait. Pull what out?
0:49:20 > 0:49:23The dart, man. You got a fucking dart in your neck.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28You're cra... You're crazy, man!
0:49:29 > 0:49:33You're crazy! I like you.
0:49:33 > 0:49:35But you're crazy!
0:49:35 > 0:49:38I feel tired.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41Looks who's coming...
0:49:44 > 0:49:49# Happy birthday to you... #
0:49:49 > 0:49:53ROARS IN DISTORTED VOICE
0:49:54 > 0:49:56ALL SING IN WARPED TONES
0:50:00 > 0:50:05DISTORTED MUMBLING
0:50:07 > 0:50:09Agh!
0:50:11 > 0:50:15DISTORTED SPEECH
0:50:26 > 0:50:29# Hello, darkness, my old friend
0:50:30 > 0:50:34# I've come to talk with you again
0:50:34 > 0:50:38# Because a vision softly creeping
0:50:38 > 0:50:43# Left its seeds while I was sleeping... #
0:50:44 > 0:50:47This is the most beautiful day.
0:50:48 > 0:50:52Yes. It really is.
0:50:53 > 0:50:56# Within the sound
0:50:56 > 0:50:59# Of silence... #
0:50:59 > 0:51:03I've missed you, Frank. I'm so glad you're back.
0:51:04 > 0:51:07- ECHOES: - I've missed you, too, honey.
0:51:07 > 0:51:09You look gorgeous.
0:51:10 > 0:51:12You're sweet.
0:51:12 > 0:51:16# I turned my collar to the cold and damp... #
0:51:16 > 0:51:18# When my heart... #
0:51:18 > 0:51:23Bleurgh! Eugh! Agh!
0:51:23 > 0:51:26- He just French-kissed me! - CHILDREN: Eurgh!
0:51:30 > 0:51:33This better work. The board members are beginning
0:51:33 > 0:51:36to ask questions about this "civilian fraternity".
0:51:36 > 0:51:40Don't worry. It'll work. Here she comes.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43Her name is Megan Huang.
0:51:43 > 0:51:48She's the student council president, pre-law, a promising young woman.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50A young woman with a lot to lose.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53- Megan, hello.- Hi!- Have a seat.
0:51:57 > 0:52:01- HE CLEARS THROAT - I'm sure you know Dean Pritchard.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03- Oh, hi...- Don't turn around!
0:52:06 > 0:52:10Megan, this little fraternity over on Brooke Street
0:52:10 > 0:52:13has become quite an inconvenience for us, OK?
0:52:13 > 0:52:17And as Student Body president, you approved their temporary status.
0:52:17 > 0:52:21Unfortunately, you alone have the ability to revoke it.
0:52:21 > 0:52:24We're gonna need you to go ahead and do that.
0:52:24 > 0:52:28Why? Everybody loves those guys. They throw the sickest parties.
0:52:28 > 0:52:33- I mean, I met my boyfriend at their casino night... - Uh-huh. That's great.
0:52:33 > 0:52:36It says here you're applying to Columbia Law School.
0:52:36 > 0:52:39Wow! That's a tough school to get in to.
0:52:39 > 0:52:43You know, Dean Pritchard has some serious connections at Columbia.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46- Are you bribing me?- Hey...
0:52:48 > 0:52:52- Don't make life harder on yourself, Chang.- It's Huang.
0:52:52 > 0:52:55Whatever. How's the tennis going?
0:52:55 > 0:52:59I made some minor changes, but overall it's OK.
0:52:59 > 0:53:02- It's a pretty standard lease. - OK. Great.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04Thanks for taking a look for me.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07- This stuff confuses me.- Any time.
0:53:07 > 0:53:11So, er... you and Mark are moving in together?
0:53:11 > 0:53:15Yeah. Well, financially it makes sense. So...
0:53:15 > 0:53:20You know, there's something I think you should know, er...
0:53:20 > 0:53:23about Mark.
0:53:23 > 0:53:26- What is it?- Well...
0:53:30 > 0:53:32Relationships are a lot of work.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35I guess what I'm saying is, er...
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Er, good luck.
0:53:41 > 0:53:45Oh. OK! Well, thank you.
0:53:45 > 0:53:49Yeah. Listen, I-I was thinking that maybe some time we could
0:53:49 > 0:53:51- get some dinner or something... - Yeah.
0:53:51 > 0:53:54- If that's OK.- I'd like that.
0:53:54 > 0:53:57Yeah. Of course, leave it to me to wait
0:53:57 > 0:54:01until you've got a boyfriend to finally ask you out.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04- Timing was never your thing.- No.
0:54:06 > 0:54:08OK! So thank you.
0:54:09 > 0:54:13- And, er, call me about dinner. - I will.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16Excuse me, sir! We have a situation, sir!
0:54:16 > 0:54:20- What are you doing here? I said never at work.- But it's an emergency.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23We can only buy KY Jelly in the four-ounce tubes.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27Industrial-sized cans'll take up to three to four business days minimum.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30- What's that for?- Blue's birthday. We're having a KY wrestling match...
0:54:30 > 0:54:34Can we talk about this later, please?!
0:54:35 > 0:54:37# Louie, Louie... #
0:54:37 > 0:54:41I'm born again, baby! Whoo-hoo!
0:54:44 > 0:54:47# We got it going on... #
0:54:49 > 0:54:51Yeah! Yeah!
0:54:51 > 0:54:54This doesn't seem fair!
0:54:57 > 0:54:59Oh!
0:54:59 > 0:55:01THEY CHEER
0:55:05 > 0:55:09Rip his head off! Rip his head off!
0:55:09 > 0:55:11SOUL MUSIC PLAYS
0:55:12 > 0:55:15THEY GIGGLE
0:55:21 > 0:55:23- I like your room. - Thanks a lot.
0:55:23 > 0:55:27It's kind of a home away from home for me. All the posters are mine...
0:55:28 > 0:55:32I don't usually like fraternity guys. They're such losers.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35But you're, like, mature.
0:55:36 > 0:55:38- Mature?- Yeah.
0:55:38 > 0:55:42So, where do you sleep, anyway?
0:55:42 > 0:55:46Usually, I sleep at home. Sometimes I do crash here.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51- This is a futon, actually. It pulls out...- I didn't realise.
0:55:52 > 0:55:56- Can I see it?- The futon?
0:55:56 > 0:55:58Yes.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03Wow. Er...
0:56:04 > 0:56:06Amy, I'm sorry.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09I'm married, and I can't do this.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12I don't want this to get weird but...
0:56:12 > 0:56:14Right, I see.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16But leave me your number,
0:56:16 > 0:56:20so if something happens to my wife, I can give you a call.
0:56:20 > 0:56:24- I don't think so. - OK. That was a bad idea.
0:56:24 > 0:56:25BELL RINGS
0:56:25 > 0:56:29Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's main event.
0:56:32 > 0:56:33Yeah!
0:56:34 > 0:56:37In this corner, weighing in at 110lbs
0:56:37 > 0:56:40and pushing 89 years of age,
0:56:40 > 0:56:43the recent recipient of a brand-new plastic hip,
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Joseph Blue Pallaski!
0:56:46 > 0:56:50THEY CHANT: Blue! Blue! Blue!
0:56:50 > 0:56:54And in the opposite corner, with a combined weight of 210lbs,
0:56:54 > 0:56:57hailing from Haydon Dormitory,
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Jennie and Jeanie!
0:56:59 > 0:57:02ALL CHEER
0:57:04 > 0:57:07Fighters, are you ready?
0:57:08 > 0:57:12Hey, Blue, you sure you're OK with this?
0:57:12 > 0:57:16- Just ring the fucking bell, you pansy.- OK. Let's get it on!
0:57:21 > 0:57:25- Come on. - Come on, Grandpa! Let's go.
0:57:25 > 0:57:27Let's go, birthday boy.
0:57:27 > 0:57:31- What's the matter? Are you scared? - Come on. Hello?!
0:57:46 > 0:57:50# I close my eyes
0:57:51 > 0:57:53# Only for a moment
0:57:53 > 0:57:55# And the moment's gone
0:57:56 > 0:58:00# All my dreams
0:58:01 > 0:58:03# Passed before my eyes
0:58:03 > 0:58:05# In curiosity
0:58:07 > 0:58:09# Dust in the wind... #
0:58:09 > 0:58:13We'd better put the KY wrestling on hold for a while.
0:58:13 > 0:58:15Good idea.
0:58:15 > 0:58:19Please don't beat yourself up over this thing. It's not your fault.
0:58:19 > 0:58:23Damn it, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.
0:58:23 > 0:58:25I'm sorry.
0:58:25 > 0:58:28# All we are is dust
0:58:28 > 0:58:32# In the wind
0:58:33 > 0:58:35# Oh...
0:58:35 > 0:58:38# Ho-ho... #
0:58:38 > 0:58:42You're my boy, Blue! (You're my boy!)
0:58:46 > 0:58:49- It's been a weird month, huh?- Yeah.
0:58:51 > 0:58:55Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday.
0:58:55 > 0:58:58- My birthday? What do you mean? - Last Thursday.
0:59:00 > 0:59:02- You forgot your birthday, didn't you?- Damn it.
0:59:02 > 0:59:06I'm such an idiot. I...
0:59:06 > 0:59:10- What have you been doing? - I... Well, I've been keeping busy.
0:59:10 > 0:59:13Well... I, er...
0:59:13 > 0:59:16I...tried to join a new gym.
0:59:16 > 0:59:19- That was one thing. Er...- Mmm.
0:59:19 > 0:59:23And there's other stuff I can't remember. But...keeping busy.
0:59:23 > 0:59:26You know, I-I've missed you.
0:59:26 > 0:59:28- I want you to know that.- Mmm.
0:59:28 > 0:59:32Maybe tonight we could get together back at home.
0:59:32 > 0:59:34We could maybe put on a Sisqo CD...
0:59:34 > 0:59:37I don't think that's such a good idea.
0:59:37 > 0:59:40Really? You don't?
0:59:40 > 0:59:44I don't know. Maybe we rushed into this, you know?
0:59:45 > 0:59:50I mean, it just doesn't feel right, does it...
0:59:50 > 0:59:52being married?
0:59:54 > 0:59:57What do you mean?
0:59:57 > 0:59:59I think we should get a divorce.
1:00:01 > 1:00:04Like a real divorce?
1:00:04 > 1:00:06Yeah.
1:00:06 > 1:00:08(Gotcha.)
1:00:09 > 1:00:12OK, well, er...
1:00:12 > 1:00:14- Huh!- I'm sorry.- Yeah.
1:00:14 > 1:00:17No, listen, actually, I gotta run.
1:00:17 > 1:00:19But...
1:00:19 > 1:00:22if I don't talk to you, keep on...
1:00:22 > 1:00:24Keep trucking, you know.
1:00:26 > 1:00:29OK. Good stuff.
1:00:39 > 1:00:44- Well, what do you think? - You know, it's OK.
1:00:44 > 1:00:47- Just OK?- Yeah.
1:00:47 > 1:00:51I had Mitch look at the lease. He thinks it sounds like a good deal.
1:00:51 > 1:00:54You had Mitch look at the lease?! When?
1:00:54 > 1:00:56Last week. I stopped by his office.
1:00:56 > 1:00:59- Oh, God!- What?
1:00:59 > 1:01:03I don't know. I'm not so sure about that guy.
1:01:03 > 1:01:06Mitch? Why? He's so sweet.
1:01:06 > 1:01:09Something I saw last week at the birthday party.
1:01:09 > 1:01:13- What did you see?- I don't want to get in to this, but...
1:01:14 > 1:01:18I walked in on him, and he was harassing one of the caterers.
1:01:18 > 1:01:20- A young girl.- Really?
1:01:20 > 1:01:25He was being really aggressive and grabbing her. It was disgusting.
1:01:25 > 1:01:28- MOBILE PHONE RINGS - I didn't want to say anything.
1:01:28 > 1:01:31- Hello?- 'Hey, Nicole. It's Mitch.' - Hi, Mitch.
1:01:31 > 1:01:34I was thinking if you're not busy,
1:01:34 > 1:01:37maybe I'd take you up on that cup of coffee.
1:01:37 > 1:01:39Er, now's not really a good time.
1:01:39 > 1:01:42Look, I'm really sorry about the other day.
1:01:42 > 1:01:46I just want the chance to explain everything.
1:01:46 > 1:01:48I don't think so. I...
1:01:48 > 1:01:51It's, er, it's been kind of a tough day,
1:01:51 > 1:01:54and it would really mean a lot.
1:01:56 > 1:02:00There's a few things that I wanted to clear up,
1:02:00 > 1:02:04because I get the feeling you have an entirely distorted view of who I am.
1:02:04 > 1:02:06- Really?- Yeah. - What gave you that idea?
1:02:06 > 1:02:09- OK! One pecan pie and two coffees. - Thank you.
1:02:09 > 1:02:13And don't worry, for the Godfather, it's always on the house.
1:02:13 > 1:02:16- Not here. - I know who you are. I am Avie.
1:02:16 > 1:02:19- I'm a big supporter.- Thank you.
1:02:19 > 1:02:23You are beautiful. Beautiful. No offence, though, he is the king.
1:02:23 > 1:02:27- You are taking coffee and pie with a legend.- That's very kind,
1:02:27 > 1:02:30- but I insist, I'll pay. - Your money - it's not good here.- OK.
1:02:30 > 1:02:33- I look forward to pledging next semester!- OK.
1:02:33 > 1:02:37OK, now don't you think this is going a little far?
1:02:37 > 1:02:40I heard one of your pledges died. Is that true?
1:02:40 > 1:02:42Well, yes. But he was old.
1:02:42 > 1:02:45I'm confident that when we get the autopsy back,
1:02:45 > 1:02:48it'll show it was probably of natural causes.
1:02:48 > 1:02:52Look, to be honest, you're really not the person I thought you were.
1:02:52 > 1:02:56- But it's OK. It's not a big deal. - But I think that I am that person,
1:02:56 > 1:03:00and I feel more like myself now than I have in a really long time.
1:03:00 > 1:03:03So, that's why you harass young women?
1:03:03 > 1:03:06- Doing what? - The caterer at the birthday party.
1:03:06 > 1:03:11- Mark told me about her.- Wait! I didn't want to say anything,
1:03:11 > 1:03:14but Mark is the one who was acting inappropriate.
1:03:14 > 1:03:19- Mitch, you are unbelievable. - It's true!- Hey, look who it is.
1:03:19 > 1:03:22- Hey, Mitch!- Darcie, hey.
1:03:22 > 1:03:27Hi! I meant to call you. I didn't want you to worry about my dad.
1:03:27 > 1:03:29He doesn't know anything, so it's totally cool.
1:03:29 > 1:03:32- Her dad?!- Yeah.
1:03:32 > 1:03:36Yeah. You know, it's nothing, really.
1:03:36 > 1:03:39They actually work together.
1:03:39 > 1:03:42We gotta run cos we got this prom committee thing.
1:03:42 > 1:03:45I'll see you around. (Sorry.)
1:03:45 > 1:03:47Bye.
1:03:47 > 1:03:53- Prom committee thing? - That, I actually can explain. - I'm sure you can.
1:03:53 > 1:03:57- It...- I have to go. - Nicole, please wait a second.
1:03:57 > 1:04:00No! Really, I have to go.
1:04:03 > 1:04:08Hey! Chicks! Don't worry for her, huh?!
1:04:08 > 1:04:10Love - it's a motherfucker, huh?
1:04:19 > 1:04:21Shit!
1:04:41 > 1:04:44"Dear, Mitch, if you're holding this letter,
1:04:44 > 1:04:47"you already know the house has been boarded up,
1:04:47 > 1:04:49"the windows, the doors, everything.
1:04:49 > 1:04:52"We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112.
1:04:52 > 1:04:54"I love you. Frank."
1:04:54 > 1:04:58Due to these infractions, not only will your house be repossessed,
1:04:58 > 1:05:02but those of you who ARE students will be expelled from the university
1:05:02 > 1:05:05for participating in a non-sanctioned fraternity.
1:05:05 > 1:05:09Please take a moment to allow this to sink in.
1:05:12 > 1:05:14Good.
1:05:14 > 1:05:18Believe me, the actions taken by the student council
1:05:18 > 1:05:21have come as a great shock to me.
1:05:21 > 1:05:24Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do.
1:05:24 > 1:05:28Thank you for your time. Good luck. And God bless America.
1:05:32 > 1:05:35He can't do that.
1:05:35 > 1:05:37This guy's playing hardball.
1:05:37 > 1:05:40I gotta say, I'm impressed by him.
1:05:40 > 1:05:44Well, we're expelled. I'm gonna wind up working at Red Lobster!
1:05:44 > 1:05:48- You already work at Red Lobster! - Part-time, dick!
1:05:48 > 1:05:50- Hey...- Guys... - Listen,
1:05:50 > 1:05:55this is a serious situation. I mean, I'm kicked out of school!
1:05:55 > 1:05:59I don't know what I'm gonna do. My mom's gonna kill me.
1:05:59 > 1:06:02- Come on. She's not gonna kill you. - Yes, she is.
1:06:02 > 1:06:06I'm the first one to go to college in my family. When I left she said,
1:06:06 > 1:06:10"Weensie, if you screw this up, I kill you."
1:06:10 > 1:06:12She showed me the knife.
1:06:12 > 1:06:15Ssshh...
1:06:15 > 1:06:19Mitch is a lawyer, buddy. He's gonna take care of this thing.
1:06:19 > 1:06:21You're gonna be all right.
1:06:24 > 1:06:26He was meant to be Luke Skywalker.
1:06:26 > 1:06:29Guys, do you still wanna be in the fraternity?
1:06:30 > 1:06:34We've been waiting all semester for you to ask us that.
1:06:34 > 1:06:38I need your help with something, off the record. You do this, you're in.
1:06:38 > 1:06:41- Sir, yes, sir. - Walsh, I need you to track down
1:06:41 > 1:06:45a copy of university code 7A. Fax it to this number immediately.
1:06:45 > 1:06:48- I need to talk to you. - Give me five minutes.
1:06:48 > 1:06:51Booker, make two copies of this petition
1:06:51 > 1:06:53- and message it to 34 Langley. - Listen!
1:06:53 > 1:06:57Donald says you've got these guys working arbitration.
1:06:57 > 1:07:00I want them on the Sunshine Square deal!
1:07:00 > 1:07:04I locked that deal yesterday, so now they're helping with the arbitration.
1:07:04 > 1:07:08I'd appreciate it if you let me handle my own team
1:07:08 > 1:07:11and don't get on my ass every time I'm trying to do something!
1:07:11 > 1:07:15All right. I wanna make sure you're on top of it.
1:07:15 > 1:07:19- Well, I am. - Well, good. Carry on.
1:07:19 > 1:07:21See? That's why they call him the Godfather.
1:07:21 > 1:07:23Hey!
1:07:23 > 1:07:26Just take care of it.
1:07:28 > 1:07:32Gentlemen, I got some good news and I got some bad news.
1:07:32 > 1:07:37I did some research. What Pritchard did, technically, is illegal.
1:07:37 > 1:07:40We have the right to a formal evaluation
1:07:40 > 1:07:43before they can deny our application. However,
1:07:43 > 1:07:47we're now subject to a review given by the board of trustees.
1:07:47 > 1:07:52Damn it! Wait, what does that mean exactly?
1:07:52 > 1:07:55It's a thorough inspection of our fraternity
1:07:55 > 1:07:59and our contribution to the community.
1:07:59 > 1:08:02The focus is on five categories - academics, athletics,
1:08:02 > 1:08:06community service, debate and school spirit.
1:08:06 > 1:08:10Good luck. It was nice to know you and I'll see you round campus.
1:08:10 > 1:08:13Actually, all of us are being tested. Yeah.
1:08:13 > 1:08:17What are you talking about? I'm not even in school.
1:08:17 > 1:08:21It's in the bylaws. Every member is subject to review in every category,
1:08:21 > 1:08:23including academics.
1:08:23 > 1:08:26Mitch, I don't mind popping for breakfast.
1:08:26 > 1:08:28I do speakers, OK? I don't so tests.
1:08:28 > 1:08:32What happened to needing brotherhood now more than ever?!
1:08:32 > 1:08:35- They need us. - College is overrated, anyway.
1:08:35 > 1:08:39I built Speaker City from the ground up. I can barely read! It's true!
1:08:39 > 1:08:43This damn thing was your idea. You convinced me to do it,
1:08:43 > 1:08:46- and now people's lives are ruined! - Ruined?!
1:08:46 > 1:08:50- Yeah!- Like whose life is ruined? - Well, let's see...
1:08:50 > 1:08:53Blue's dead. Frank's divorced. I've lost my house.
1:08:53 > 1:08:56Nicole thinks I'm a total jackass,
1:08:56 > 1:09:00and now we've got nine kids who are gonna get expelled from school,
1:09:00 > 1:09:03and you're not even gonna help them out!
1:09:17 > 1:09:21So, is this going to go down smooth? I'm missing 18 holes of golf here.
1:09:21 > 1:09:25I got creative with their tests. It should make for an entertaining day.
1:09:25 > 1:09:29- I'll enjoy kicking these assholes off campus.- Ditto.
1:09:30 > 1:09:34Welcome to the official debate section of the charter review.
1:09:35 > 1:09:37Unfortunately,
1:09:37 > 1:09:42the captain of the university debate team had a scheduling conflict,
1:09:42 > 1:09:46so we had to bring someone else in to fill in for this event.
1:09:46 > 1:09:51Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the co-host of CNN's Crossfire,
1:09:51 > 1:09:55famed political consultant, the Ragin' Cajun, Mr James Carvell.
1:10:00 > 1:10:05Thank you, Dean Pritchard. It's an honour and a pleasure to be here.
1:10:05 > 1:10:08Topic number one...
1:10:08 > 1:10:13What is your position on the role of government in supporting innovation
1:10:13 > 1:10:15in the field of biotechnology?
1:10:16 > 1:10:19- Dean, I'm glad you asked... - Actually,
1:10:19 > 1:10:21I'd like to take that one, Jimmy.
1:10:21 > 1:10:25- CROWD MUTTERS - Have at it.
1:10:25 > 1:10:27What?!
1:10:28 > 1:10:31(Frank, no!)
1:10:33 > 1:10:35Recent research shows that empirical evidence
1:10:35 > 1:10:39for globalisation of corporate innovation is limited
1:10:39 > 1:10:43and the market for technologies is shrinking. As a world leader,
1:10:43 > 1:10:46it's important for the US to provide research grants for scientists.
1:10:46 > 1:10:51I believe there will always be a need for a well-articulated innovation policy
1:10:51 > 1:10:54with emphasis on human resource development.
1:10:58 > 1:11:02- Where'd that come from? - What? I blacked out.- It was awesome!
1:11:02 > 1:11:06That was interesting. Thank you very much.
1:11:06 > 1:11:08Your rebuttal, Mr Carvell?
1:11:08 > 1:11:12Er... We have no response.
1:11:12 > 1:11:14That was perfect.
1:11:14 > 1:11:17THEY CHEER
1:11:17 > 1:11:20That's the way you do it. That's the way you debate.
1:11:30 > 1:11:32(Number 12.
1:11:32 > 1:11:37("Which of the following is an accepted graphical technique
1:11:37 > 1:11:41("for determining first order system parameters?
1:11:41 > 1:11:46("Is it A - Harriot's method of solving cubics?
1:11:46 > 1:11:48("B - Pythagorean triples?
1:11:48 > 1:11:53("Or C - the migration method of graphic quadratic functions?")
1:11:55 > 1:12:01- Harriot's method of solving cubics. - "The answer is A - Harriot's method of solving cubics."
1:12:05 > 1:12:08(Good test.)
1:12:16 > 1:12:18All right, Frank, let's do this.
1:12:19 > 1:12:21Go!
1:12:21 > 1:12:23# Everybody, dance now
1:12:29 > 1:12:31# Everybody, dance now
1:12:38 > 1:12:40# Give me the music
1:12:42 > 1:12:44# Give me the music
1:12:45 > 1:12:47# Everybody, dance now
1:12:53 > 1:12:55# Everybody, dance now. #
1:12:59 > 1:13:01- Yes!- Wow.
1:13:08 > 1:13:10Let's go, Cougars!
1:13:13 > 1:13:16Agh! Oh, no!
1:13:19 > 1:13:22Help me! Help me! Argh!
1:13:24 > 1:13:28- Dean Pritchard, can I talk to you? - Megan, I'm a little busy.
1:13:28 > 1:13:31- I didn't get in to Columbia Law School.- How awful(!)
1:13:31 > 1:13:35You said if I revoked their charter, you'd get me in.
1:13:35 > 1:13:38- I did say that. - No-one at Columbia's heard of you!
1:13:38 > 1:13:42- Oh, Megan...- Look, I did my part, now you have to do yours.
1:13:42 > 1:13:45- That's how bribes work! - I know how bribes work!
1:13:45 > 1:13:49I bribe people all the time. But I changed my mind. Lesson learned!
1:13:50 > 1:13:52DOOR SLAMS
1:13:52 > 1:13:55Damn it!
1:13:55 > 1:13:59I'm sorry, guys. I lost my composure out there. I'm an idiot.
1:13:59 > 1:14:02Frankie, don't worry. We'll make those points up.
1:14:02 > 1:14:05Your skin's gonna grow back, too.
1:14:05 > 1:14:07- I'm sorry.- Yeah.
1:14:07 > 1:14:09- How many events are left?- One.
1:14:09 > 1:14:13- Frank's accident set us back, but... - BANGS DOOR ANGRILY
1:14:13 > 1:14:15But if we pass athletics, we're in.
1:14:15 > 1:14:18All right! That's what I'm talking about, guys.
1:14:18 > 1:14:21We made a great effort so far. Keep it up!
1:14:21 > 1:14:25That's right! We can't have anyone freak out out there, OK?!
1:14:25 > 1:14:28We've got to keep our composure! We've come too far!
1:14:28 > 1:14:32There's too much to lose! Keep our composure!
1:14:32 > 1:14:36For your final test, I've chosen the men's gymnastic team's all-rounder.
1:14:36 > 1:14:40Participants in the three events will be chosen at random by me.
1:14:40 > 1:14:43Let's see... Er, rings.
1:14:43 > 1:14:46Er, Bernard. OK, great.
1:14:46 > 1:14:49Full exercise... How about Frank? Great.
1:14:49 > 1:14:54And for the vault competition... Oh, I don't know.
1:14:54 > 1:14:56How about, er...
1:14:58 > 1:15:00- ..you.- Me?
1:15:00 > 1:15:02Yeah. Is there a problem with that?
1:15:02 > 1:15:06MUSIC: Theme from "Chariots Of Fire"
1:15:41 > 1:15:43I'm still holding.
1:15:43 > 1:15:46Still holding!
1:15:49 > 1:15:51It's physically impossible.
1:15:51 > 1:15:54No. Don't worry. Abdul's here to spot you.
1:15:57 > 1:15:59We're waiting, gentlemen.
1:15:59 > 1:16:03Just hit the board as hard as you can and shut your eyes, all right?
1:16:03 > 1:16:06- Ready?- Have fun with it.
1:16:06 > 1:16:08Go! Come on!
1:16:13 > 1:16:15Come on!
1:16:21 > 1:16:23Aargghh!
1:16:23 > 1:16:25Aargh!
1:16:27 > 1:16:29- Yeah!- Oh, my God!
1:16:29 > 1:16:32THEY ALL CHEER
1:16:43 > 1:16:45Hey, how you doing?
1:16:46 > 1:16:48Congratulations.
1:16:48 > 1:16:51- You put forth quite en effort. - Thanks.- Really did.
1:16:51 > 1:16:55But I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. You didn't pass the review.
1:16:55 > 1:17:00Wh-What are you talking about? We finished with an 84%.
1:17:00 > 1:17:03Yes, you people did finish with an 84%,
1:17:03 > 1:17:07but, unfortunately, another pledge scored a zero in every category.
1:17:07 > 1:17:09What pledge?
1:17:09 > 1:17:12A Joseph Blue Pallaski.
1:17:12 > 1:17:14THEY LAUGH
1:17:14 > 1:17:18Hey, man, Blue's dead. He passed away two weeks ago.
1:17:18 > 1:17:22He's listed right here on your official chapter roster,
1:17:22 > 1:17:27- and those zeros drop your average to a...58%. - Come on! You gotta be kidding me!
1:17:27 > 1:17:30It's been quite a journey.
1:17:30 > 1:17:33You're gonna be all right, Frank.
1:17:33 > 1:17:36- Come on now, big cat. - I have no reason to live.
1:17:36 > 1:17:39We're going to find you a one-bedroom apartment,
1:17:39 > 1:17:43- get you back on your feet... - It's not gonna be the same!
1:17:43 > 1:17:46Didn't quite work out for you, fellas, did it?
1:17:46 > 1:17:48I recommend you drive away,
1:17:48 > 1:17:52- before something very bad happens. - Ooh, I'm scared(!)
1:17:52 > 1:17:55- Mitch, am I interrupting? - You actually are.
1:17:55 > 1:17:59- If you leave, that'd be tremendous. - You might find this interesting.
1:17:59 > 1:18:04'You said if I revoked the charter, you'd get me in to Columbia.
1:18:04 > 1:18:07- 'I did say that.- I did my part, now you have to do yours.
1:18:07 > 1:18:10- 'That's how bribes work. - I know how bribes work.'
1:18:10 > 1:18:12- Let me...- No!
1:18:12 > 1:18:15Get him, Frankie!
1:18:26 > 1:18:29Pritchard! Hey, it's over.
1:18:29 > 1:18:33Hand over the tape. It's over. It's over.
1:18:33 > 1:18:36- Where did the others get to? - We all spread out.
1:18:36 > 1:18:39Ow! What are you doing?
1:18:39 > 1:18:43Wh...? Ow! Hey! Time-out! Time-out!
1:18:47 > 1:18:49Excuse me. Excuse me!
1:18:49 > 1:18:52Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
1:18:59 > 1:19:01Wait! My shoulder!
1:19:07 > 1:19:11This man accosted me! You're all witnesses!
1:19:11 > 1:19:14Frank! Frank!
1:19:16 > 1:19:19Frank, are you OK?
1:19:19 > 1:19:22I... Mitch, I-I'm so cold.
1:19:23 > 1:19:26Come on, big cat.
1:19:26 > 1:19:29- I-I think I see Blue.- Ssh...
1:19:29 > 1:19:31He looks glorious!
1:19:31 > 1:19:34- Stay with me.- OK. - Stay with me.
1:19:34 > 1:19:36I did good.
1:19:37 > 1:19:40You did great!
1:20:08 > 1:20:11Hi!
1:20:11 > 1:20:14Hey! Wow...
1:20:15 > 1:20:18- How are you?- I'm OK.
1:20:18 > 1:20:22- You know, I got that apartment. - Good for you. That's great.
1:20:22 > 1:20:25- And you were right about Mark. - What happened?
1:20:25 > 1:20:28Well, let's just say I caught him red-handed
1:20:28 > 1:20:31- and it wasn't pretty.- Oh.
1:20:31 > 1:20:35I guess I thought he could change. I don't know...
1:20:35 > 1:20:38So, you're moving out?
1:20:38 > 1:20:41Er, yeah. I'm moving into a new place
1:20:41 > 1:20:44far, far away from here.
1:20:44 > 1:20:46What about your little fraternity?
1:20:46 > 1:20:49They're upgrading, moving into a new facility,
1:20:49 > 1:20:52and to tell you the truth,
1:20:52 > 1:20:56they don't have much use for the Godfather any more.
1:20:56 > 1:21:01I hope you'll still think I'm cool, even without...all this!
1:21:01 > 1:21:04- Ah-ha. I think I can deal with it! - I appreciate it.
1:21:04 > 1:21:07Although, you know, I have to say,
1:21:07 > 1:21:11I have always been curious about what goes on inside these places.
1:21:11 > 1:21:13- Yeah?- Yeah.
1:21:13 > 1:21:16Well...
1:21:16 > 1:21:18I do have another 12 hours on my lease.
1:21:18 > 1:21:23I'd be more than happy to...show you around.
1:21:23 > 1:21:25- Really?- Yeah.
1:21:25 > 1:21:28Maybe for a minute.
1:21:28 > 1:21:30Great.
1:21:30 > 1:21:32Happy Tuesday!
1:21:32 > 1:21:35Frank The Tank here at Harrison Cougar Radio, 88.6.
1:21:35 > 1:21:38I wanna give a shout out to the Godfather.
1:21:38 > 1:21:43If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here today, Mitch. I'd be dead.
1:21:43 > 1:21:46Face-down in a drained pool somewhere.
1:21:46 > 1:21:50'Quick note to all you future brothers out there,
1:21:50 > 1:21:54'there's a brand-new house on campus, Dean Pritchard's former residence.
1:21:54 > 1:21:57'You all remember that crazy bastard!
1:21:57 > 1:22:01'Well, we'd love for you to join us this Saturday at our open house
1:22:01 > 1:22:04'for some chips, soda and late-night streaking.'
1:22:04 > 1:22:07A little right. A little more.
1:22:07 > 1:22:09Yeah. That's good enough.
1:22:10 > 1:22:13- Welcome aboard, Booker. - Thanks, sir.
1:22:13 > 1:22:16- Walsh.- Thanks, Tank.- Well done. Get me a fresh beer.
1:22:16 > 1:22:19- Are you serious?- NOW!
1:22:19 > 1:22:22NOW! You son of a bitch!
1:22:23 > 1:22:25MUSIC: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake
1:22:30 > 1:22:31# Like a drifter
1:22:31 > 1:22:34# I was born to walk alone
1:22:36 > 1:22:38# And I've made up my mind... #
1:22:38 > 1:22:41HE WHISTLES
1:22:43 > 1:22:47# But here I go again... #
1:22:49 > 1:22:51HORNS TOOT
1:22:51 > 1:22:53Aargghh!
1:22:55 > 1:22:57Oh, shit!
1:23:07 > 1:23:12# I close my eyes
1:23:12 > 1:23:14# Only for a moment
1:23:14 > 1:23:17# And the moment's gone
1:23:17 > 1:23:21# All my dreams
1:23:21 > 1:23:23# Pass before my eyes
1:23:23 > 1:23:26# A curiosity
1:23:26 > 1:23:28# Dust
1:23:28 > 1:23:31# In the wind...
1:23:31 > 1:23:32# All they are
1:23:32 > 1:23:34# Is dust in the wind. #
1:23:34 > 1:23:38We gotta stay in the goal, man.
1:23:38 > 1:23:41Between the posts. Can we say between the posts?
1:23:41 > 1:23:44I want focus! I want intensity! I want a one, two, three!
1:23:44 > 1:23:47THEY CHEER
1:23:47 > 1:23:50Hungry! Hungry! Hungry! Eat 'em up!
1:23:50 > 1:23:53You know what to do in the box. We talked about it!
1:23:53 > 1:23:55We're up by six.
1:23:55 > 1:24:00The ref's a real prick out there. Yeah! That's right, you heard me!
1:24:00 > 1:24:03Number four's been throwing elbows all day!
1:24:03 > 1:24:08What? Let's make it official, then, jackass! Let's make it official!
1:24:09 > 1:24:12Pick up the clipboard. I'll be in the car.
1:24:12 > 1:24:14Have some respect for yourself.
1:24:14 > 1:24:18Is that Frank The Tank?!
1:24:18 > 1:24:21Oh, hey, Heidi! How you doing?
1:24:21 > 1:24:26I'm doing really good! You know, I got into body painting.
1:24:26 > 1:24:29- Oh, I didn't know that. - Yeah.- Great.
1:24:29 > 1:24:32Wow! You're looking very healthy.
1:24:32 > 1:24:35Oh, thanks. Yeah, so are you.
1:24:35 > 1:24:37Oh, thank you!
1:24:37 > 1:24:40So I heard you and Marissa split up. Is that true?
1:24:40 > 1:24:44- Yeah. We did. - Oh, you poor baby!
1:24:45 > 1:24:49I having this get-together at my place tomorrow night,
1:24:49 > 1:24:52just like a few Internet friends. You should swing by.
1:24:52 > 1:24:55- Really?- Totally!
1:24:55 > 1:24:57- OK.- All right.- It sounds awesome.
1:24:57 > 1:25:01- I'll see you tomorrow night. - SHE GIGGLES
1:25:02 > 1:25:05Awesome. Yes!
1:25:08 > 1:25:11I am back! Whoo!
1:25:14 > 1:25:16You know it!