0:00:10 > 0:00:13Sweet city with her dreaming spires,
0:00:13 > 0:00:17she needs not dew for beauty's heightening.
0:00:17 > 0:00:21STEAM TRAIN WHISTLES
0:00:41 > 0:00:45# Ooh, Lucky Jim
0:00:45 > 0:00:48# How I envy him
0:00:48 > 0:00:52# Ooh, Lucky Jim
0:00:52 > 0:00:56# How I envy him
0:00:57 > 0:01:00# Oh, Lucky Jim
0:01:00 > 0:01:04# How I envy him
0:01:04 > 0:01:07# Oh, Lucky Jim
0:01:07 > 0:01:11# How I envy him
0:01:12 > 0:01:16# Oh, Lucky Jim
0:01:16 > 0:01:19# How I envy him
0:01:19 > 0:01:24# Oh, Lucky Jim
0:01:24 > 0:01:27# How I envy him
0:01:27 > 0:01:31# Oh, Lucky Jim
0:01:31 > 0:01:34# How I envy him
0:01:34 > 0:01:37# Oh
0:01:37 > 0:01:39# Lucky. #
0:01:55 > 0:02:00So much for the Chancellor's installation. The seating plan will be on the board.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04- Principal.- Yes. - It's our first chancellor.
0:02:04 > 0:02:09Shouldn't there be some decorations - bunting, flowers or something?
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Yes, there should. And the quadrangle's looking pretty untidy,
0:02:13 > 0:02:16bicycles lying around and so on.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- Get some of your chaps onto it, Welch.- Hmm?
0:02:20 > 0:02:22That's all, thank you.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- Coffee, principal?- Thank you. - Professor?- Thank you.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- Tell Dixon I want a word. - He isn't here, sir.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- He didn't come to the meeting.- Oh?
0:02:37 > 0:02:41- Why not? - Didn't come to the meeting?!
0:02:41 > 0:02:45I distinctly told him! You live in the same house - where is he?
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- KNOCK ON DOOR - Open up.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Dixon?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26You're driving yourself too hard.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31- I'm limbering up for tonight at the Welches.- We're at the Swan tonight.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35You are, but for me, it's culture, lemonade and bed by 10.30.
0:03:35 > 0:03:40- Have you got a clean shirt? - Yes, I've got it on.- Chuck it over.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44- This is important. I need to know if Welch is keeping me on.- Ask him.
0:03:44 > 0:03:49- I'm fed up of asking him. He dodges it.- Then go over his head.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53I can't - it's like the Army! You have to go through the channels.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Margaret Peel will be there. - Bound to be!
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- Still, this can't be helped. - Be careful.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04- Since that bloke dropped her, she's been looking for a new victim. - I know!
0:04:04 > 0:04:08This is my last chance to make a good impression.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12Last time, I knocked over a table - a spindly thing with one leg.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Sounds like Margaret Peel! There's nothing in that.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- No? When I got there, it had four! - Sounds more like Margaret Peel!
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- And she saw me making a face. - Which one?- Martian invader.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- That's my favourite!- Not hers!
0:04:27 > 0:04:32Join the car trade like me. I'm off to see a man about a Bentley.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Ah, sonny boy, come to spread some sunshine?
0:04:36 > 0:04:38I'm hoping to spread a little.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43Well...what about the Installation Committee, Dixon?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- That's on Saturday. - This is Saturday.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49So it is!
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Not much point in hurrying now. It's over.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- Did anybody notice?- Everyone.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00I tried to cover up for you, but as you were the only absentee...
0:05:00 > 0:05:04- Welch was livid. - That was a fine start.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08- If it's Saturday, I'm late for my tutorial as well.- Very.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13- By the way, you're doing the flowers. - What are you talking about?
0:05:13 > 0:05:17The Chancellor's installation. You're flowers and bunting.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Thanks(!) That makes it perfect(!)
0:05:19 > 0:05:22You're welcome.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28# Oh, Lucky Jim... #
0:05:31 > 0:05:37"He could only satisfy his thirst for glory by leading dukes, barons and their armies against the French."
0:05:39 > 0:05:42SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
0:05:42 > 0:05:47- Is that the lot?- Yes. Do you think it's a bit obvious, Mr Dixon?
0:05:47 > 0:05:51No, no. But this point about his ambition, his thirst for glory -
0:05:51 > 0:05:54what makes you say that?
0:05:54 > 0:05:58- Well, it's in the book. - Don't be too impressed by that.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02That's only one person's opinion. I want yours.
0:06:02 > 0:06:07- Surely it's generally accepted that Henry was ambitious.- Bunkum!
0:06:07 > 0:06:11It's Henry - someone with ordinary human weaknesses.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Like you - only better-looking.
0:06:13 > 0:06:18It was more profitable fighting the French than staying at home.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23- I'd have stayed home with the serving wenches. - What I think is this.
0:06:23 > 0:06:28Henry and his boys had a great time, sacking castles, chasing girls...
0:06:28 > 0:06:31But they had guts.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34The top brass were in the thick of the scrapping.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39- BOY COUGHS LOUDLY - Nasty cough - have a lozenge.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43The top brass mucking in like that was a snag for the PBI
0:06:43 > 0:06:48because they only got their cut when the best of the stuff was gone.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50But that's still true today.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55- So it wasn't a war of conquest at all?- Oh, yes it was. Indeed it was.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00But what I'm saying, is that it was grade-A binge as well.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- Oh, I'm, er, sorry, sir. I didn't... - Carry on, Dixon,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09just as if I wasn't...
0:07:10 > 0:07:13Carry on.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16Oh...thank you, sir.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21Yes, well, I, um... Thank you.
0:07:21 > 0:07:25Well, that's, um, just one aspect
0:07:25 > 0:07:29of the, um... Not the only one, of course.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Yes, well, that will be all for now.
0:07:33 > 0:07:40I'd like you to think through the earlier points we discussed and...
0:07:40 > 0:07:42- Well, thank you.- Thank you, sir.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45- Good morning, sir.- Good morning, sir. - Morning.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53Grade-A binge, Dixon?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57PBI?
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Did you mean FBI?
0:08:00 > 0:08:04No, sir, no. PBI. It's students' abbreviation.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- It stands for poor battling infantry.- Oh.
0:08:08 > 0:08:14Even so, your picture of the flower of chivalry is hardly...er...
0:08:14 > 0:08:19- As you know, I like my staff to be completely free.- Yes, I know, sir.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22But when I say free, there are limits.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Yes, of course, sir.
0:08:24 > 0:08:29Good. I'm not happy about some of the references in these notes.
0:08:29 > 0:08:35- What are they?- My book on Merrie England. I'd like you to check the references.- I'll try, sir.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- When are you leaving?- Leaving? I have no intention of retiring.
0:08:39 > 0:08:44I meant for the weekend, sir. You invited me to stay.
0:08:44 > 0:08:50- It couldn't be this weekend. I've asked some friends.- I see, sir.
0:08:51 > 0:08:56I suppose you could lend a hand. Yes, drive down with me after tea.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01- That's very kind. And your notes? - Yes, don't waste any more time.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05# Oh, Lucky Jim, how... #
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Hello, James.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30- Hello, Margaret, I heard you were back.- Yes, I'm back.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35- You're looking well.- One doesn't die of a broken engagement, James.
0:09:35 > 0:09:40- Of course not. You won't want to talk about it now.- But I do.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45- I want to say something.- Oh?- It's just that...I'm so utterly grateful.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Grateful?- For what you did.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- But I haven't done anything. - That's just it.
0:09:51 > 0:09:56It was terribly understanding of you not to come and see me.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00- Oh.- Not many people would have been so sensitive.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Well, I don't know...- I do.
0:10:02 > 0:10:07It's the sort of thing that between two people creates a bond.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Bond?- I shall never forget it, James.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Never.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26I'm sorry you can't come to our party for Sir Hector.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Yes, unfortunately, I'm occupied.
0:10:28 > 0:10:34I haven't really time myself, with the end of term and this installation.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36And the History Memorial Lecture.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40- Bryant's broken his leg. - Bryant? His leg?
0:10:40 > 0:10:45- We were hoping you could help us out.- Well, I'd be happy to,
0:10:45 > 0:10:50- but it would mean burning the midnight...- No, you're far too busy.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Who's in your department? Johns - no, not quite right.
0:10:54 > 0:10:58What about this new chap? What's his name? Dixon.
0:10:58 > 0:11:03- Dixon? Oh, he's quite unorthodox. - Might be an interesting experiment.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07BICYCLE BELL RINGS
0:11:22 > 0:11:26- Sir.- I couldn't wait any longer. Too much to do.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31- Sorry, but I was finishing your notes.- Oh, next week will do.
0:11:31 > 0:11:36I really wanted to see you about Professor Bryant. His leg, you know.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Professor Bryant's leg, sir? - Yes, it's broken.
0:11:39 > 0:11:44I can't possibly deal with it. I have too many other things to do.
0:11:44 > 0:11:49- You'll just have to do your best. - With his leg?- The Memorial Lecture.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53You mean that I am to give the Memorial Lecture?
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Well, there's no other way out.
0:12:11 > 0:12:15I'm sorry to have to bother you, but my contract's only for a year.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Is it?- Yes, and it's nearly up,
0:12:18 > 0:12:23so if I'm not going to be kept on, I shall have to look for another job.
0:12:23 > 0:12:28- A teaching job?- Yes.- Oh...well, let me know what you decide, won't you?
0:12:28 > 0:12:30ENGINE STARTS NOISILY
0:13:02 > 0:13:05We shall be quite crowded out.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09My son Bertrand is down with his, er...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11with his, er...
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Well, she's Sir Hector's niece, really.
0:13:14 > 0:13:19Miss, er... She's Canadian, I think. Though how on earth Sir Hector...
0:13:19 > 0:13:22But he travels a great deal, I suppose.
0:13:24 > 0:13:30- Do get out! How can I talk to you in there?- You've locked the door! - Locked it?!
0:13:37 > 0:13:41You'd better take this now. You'll find it all in there.
0:13:41 > 0:13:46- What is it, sir?- Merrie England, the first 300 pages.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- You can draw on it freely. - Thank you. What for?
0:13:49 > 0:13:54The Memorial Lecture. Sir Hector will be there. He's a publisher.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58- He may be impressed.- That's kind but I'd rather choose my own subject.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02If you're to become my permanent assistant,
0:14:02 > 0:14:07you'd do well to be guided by my advice. My advice is Merrie England.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Merrie England.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21I hope Mrs Welch can find you a bed, Dixon.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24You mean, she doesn't know I'm coming?
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Well, how could she? Celia?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Here.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Ah, there you are, my dear.
0:14:35 > 0:14:40Oh, our young friend Dixon asked if he might join us to lend a hand.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- Good afternoon, Mrs Welch. - This is a surprise.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48- You haven't forgotten Sir Hector's coming?- No, no.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Now, where did I put my...?
0:14:50 > 0:14:55How lovely to see you, James. You should have said you were coming.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Come along, Mr Dixon.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05We'd better put you in here.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- This way.- Oh.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Here you are.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17WATER RUMBLES IN THE TANK
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Oh, it's, er...it's charming.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- The maid will make up the bed. - Thank you.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29My husband said you'd lend a hand.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Yes, Mrs, Welch, of course.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Well, perhaps you can sing.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Sing?!
0:15:38 > 0:15:41# Oh, I burn me Oh, I burn me
0:15:41 > 0:15:43# Oh, I burn me, alas
0:15:43 > 0:15:46# Alas, alas
0:15:46 > 0:15:48# La la la la la la
0:15:48 > 0:15:50# La la la la la la
0:15:50 > 0:15:51# La la la la la la
0:15:51 > 0:15:54# I burn me, oh, I burn me
0:15:54 > 0:15:57# Oh, I burn me Oh, I burn me
0:15:57 > 0:16:00# Alas, alas, alas
0:16:00 > 0:16:04# La la la la la la la la la
0:16:04 > 0:16:07# La la la la la
0:16:07 > 0:16:11# Oh, help, oh, help Oh, help, oh, help
0:16:11 > 0:16:14# Ay, me
0:16:14 > 0:16:20# Ay, me I sit and cry me... #
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Come along, Dixon. Attack it!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31- One, two... - # I cry... #
0:16:31 > 0:16:36Yes, surely! # I cry for help, alas
0:16:36 > 0:16:41# But none comes nigh me. #
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Bertrand, my boy!- Father.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47Still keeping the torch burning.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- Good to see you. Come and join in. - My dear boy.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55- You look ten years younger. Sir Hector not here?- We're expecting him.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Ah, Mr Dixon, would you be so kind?
0:16:59 > 0:17:04- My son would like some coffee. - Oh, yes, Mrs Welch.- No sugar.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10Coffee for one immediately, Mrs Welch.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Is that Bertrand's latest?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27She's quite pretty, in a way.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Pity she looks so awkward.
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Your coffee, Mr Welch. Ah, the tenor - or was it the soprano?
0:17:39 > 0:17:42I was trying a bit of both, really.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46As I was saying, I often wish I'd chosen a less exhausting profession,
0:17:46 > 0:17:49like laying linoleum or something.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Darling, I must serve the coffee.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54What exactly is your work, Mr Welch?
0:17:54 > 0:17:59I suppose you academic fellows would despise it, but I'm a novelist.
0:17:59 > 0:18:04- Nothing wrong with a good novel. - You'd like Bertrand's - very interesting.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09About a man who doesn't know if he's murdered someone or killed himself.
0:18:09 > 0:18:15- He has to work it out.- The real significance is deeper than that.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19Is man an entity or the projection of his own ego?
0:18:19 > 0:18:25- I'm working on the book jacket - an abstract woodcut to show the theme. - It gives it body when it's visual.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32Yes, well, I can't wait to see it. When will it be published?
0:18:32 > 0:18:37It isn't written yet. A good novel is like a good wine -
0:18:37 > 0:18:40it must be kept until it reaches perfection. It's maturing.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42The wood?
0:18:43 > 0:18:47May we share the joke? PHONE RINGS
0:18:47 > 0:18:51- Mr Dixon, would you answer the telephone?- Certainly.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55- It's in the dining room. - Will you excuse me?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59What an extraordinary fellow!
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- Are you ready, Celia?- Coming, Neddy.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Let me give you an A.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13HE PLAYS A NOTE
0:19:15 > 0:19:20- I think that this should prove exhilarating.- Oh, I'm sure.
0:19:22 > 0:19:27- DOG WHINES - Boadicea, ssh!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Boadicea, put a sock in it!
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Ready? One, two...
0:19:50 > 0:19:54DOG WHINES
0:19:56 > 0:19:58Bertrand!
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Please take that dog out!
0:20:00 > 0:20:04Come on, out you go!
0:20:04 > 0:20:08Yes, I'll give Mrs Welch that message. Goodbye.
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Hello. Are you brassed off with that lot too?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Come on, I'll give you a biscuit. Come on.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Come on, there's a good girl. How about that one?
0:20:33 > 0:20:36DOG WHINES
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Who brought that dog in?!
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Sorry, sir.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02(Sorry.)
0:21:03 > 0:21:08- A message from Sir Hector Gore-Urquhart.- Well?- He can't come.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12- What do you mean?- Who's not coming? - Sir Hector Gore-Urquhart.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15What are you talking about, Dixon?
0:21:15 > 0:21:18Sir Hector Gore-Urquhart, Professor.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21He rang up - well, his secretary did.
0:21:21 > 0:21:27- Rang YOU up?- You should have asked me to come to the phone!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30I'm sorry.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33HE SIGHS
0:21:35 > 0:21:37What's all this about Sir Hector?
0:21:37 > 0:21:44- Sir Hector Gore-Urquhart - and I'm tired of saying Sir Hector Gore-Urquhart - can't come.- Why?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I don't know why. What's all the fuss about?
0:21:47 > 0:21:50He's only coming down to become a chancellor.
0:21:50 > 0:21:57- Probably some old cod who thinks there's something in it for him.- Sir Hector is Miss Callaghan's uncle.
0:21:57 > 0:22:02- Oh, I say... I'm very sorry. - That's quite all right.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09And the "fuss" is that he's considering my book for publication.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11That shouldn't take him very long.
0:22:11 > 0:22:16If you weren't a guest, I'd smack you on the nose.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43No, you stay there. Sorry, old girl.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY - What a bunch!
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Brrrr! Even the dog tried to get out!
0:22:52 > 0:22:56- What's the girl like? - 97% Bertrand Welch.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59They often take after the chap they're with.
0:22:59 > 0:23:04No, thanks, I have to get back. I shouldn't be here at all, really.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06I'm their guest.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09You should have seen her - she's a stunner.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12The prettiest girl I've ever seen.
0:23:12 > 0:23:18- Well, some of those Italian film popsies might be prettier. - They're special.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23And she was with ME. Well, when I say "with", I mean here.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26Well...so far.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30By Jove, it makes you realise what's possible.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35- Anything's possible. Let's have those again.- What's the time?- It's early.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38But I've got to go. Easy with that.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42- What is the time? - Stop worrying about it.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44But I must go.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52HE SINGS DRUNKENLY
0:23:54 > 0:23:59- It really was great fun.- Till next week, then.- Good night to you all.
0:23:59 > 0:24:05- It was such fun.- Do we go the same way?- Yes, I'm glad to say we do.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I hope the buses...
0:24:25 > 0:24:29Disgraceful! Dixon going off to bed without a word to anybody.
0:24:29 > 0:24:34Quite so, my dear. I'm afraid his manners...no breeding.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Don't forget to turn off the kitchen light, Celia.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40All right.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53# Ooooh, Lucky Jim!
0:24:57 > 0:25:00# Ooooh, Lucky Jim! #
0:26:17 > 0:26:19(Jim!)
0:26:21 > 0:26:24- HE SLURS:- Margaret? - Jim, dear.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- Is this wise?- Wise?!
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- This is terrible. - Shh, they're still moving about.
0:26:30 > 0:26:35- Sorry, Margaret.- Oh, don't worry, Jim. What happened to you?
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- I went out. Did Mrs Welch...? - Yes, she did.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44- I told her that you'd gone to bed, that you had a headache.- Thank you.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- Well, I, um...I'd better...- Oh, Jim!
0:26:47 > 0:26:52- You're trembling like a leaf. - Well, it was a hell of a climb!
0:26:52 > 0:26:55When did you realise that you were...?
0:26:55 > 0:26:59- HE SLURS:- I couldn't make out which window it was!
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Poor darling! It was terribly naughty of you!
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- Well, I'd better be getting back... - Back?- To my room.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11- Thank goodness it was only you.- Jim!
0:27:11 > 0:27:15- Well, I mean, I might have picked one of the Welches.- What?!
0:27:15 > 0:27:18What was that for?
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- Get out!- What?- I said, get out! - Margaret...
0:27:21 > 0:27:28- You're disgusting! Take your clothes and get out of here before I scream! - Oh, my God!- And don't blaspheme!
0:27:28 > 0:27:31SHE SOBS
0:27:31 > 0:27:34HE SIGHS
0:27:39 > 0:27:42BERTRAND SINGS TO HIMSELF
0:27:52 > 0:27:54< Oh, do hurry up! Come to bed!
0:28:05 > 0:28:08DOG SNORES GENTLY
0:28:27 > 0:28:32MUSICAL CHIMES
0:28:40 > 0:28:44CHIMES STOP
0:28:50 > 0:28:51CHIMES PLAY AGAIN
0:28:51 > 0:28:53CHIMES STOP
0:28:53 > 0:28:57CHIMES PLAY
0:29:16 > 0:29:20DOG WHIMPERS
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Shh!
0:30:15 > 0:30:17JIM HICCUPS
0:30:39 > 0:30:42HE HICCUPS
0:30:55 > 0:30:57JIM HICCUPS
0:31:01 > 0:31:04DOG WHIMPERS
0:31:12 > 0:31:15DOG PANTS RAPIDLY
0:31:22 > 0:31:26BIRDS TWITTER
0:31:29 > 0:31:33HE SNORES
0:31:39 > 0:31:42# Oooh, lucky! #
0:31:51 > 0:31:56MAN SINGS OUTSIDE
0:32:14 > 0:32:17BANG!
0:32:22 > 0:32:23Oh.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25DOOR CREAKS
0:33:30 > 0:33:33- Good morning.- Oh, um...
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Morning.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37HE CLEARS THROAT
0:33:44 > 0:33:47Are you looking for something?
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Oh, er... No!
0:33:49 > 0:33:52No, no, no, that's, um...
0:33:53 > 0:33:55It's all right.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58SHE GIGGLES
0:34:04 > 0:34:08What an extraordinary place to put a bottle!
0:34:50 > 0:34:52You must feel awful.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55No, I don't feel too good.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58Let me pick this up for you.
0:35:00 > 0:35:05I don't suppose they'll dust in here for some time.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09- The maid! - What's the matter with her?
0:35:09 > 0:35:12Oh, er, nothing, nothing.
0:35:12 > 0:35:16It's just that, um... Well, I had a fire in my bedroom last night.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20- A fire!- Cigarette. Hole in the sheet and two blankets.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24How awful for you. What will Mrs Welch say?
0:35:24 > 0:35:27- Can't you do anything? - I can't even think!
0:35:27 > 0:35:30- Maybe I could help.- Would you?
0:35:30 > 0:35:35- Sure.- Oh, if you could just look at it. It is sort of a woman's job.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38- I'll try.- Come on.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42- They're not only burnt, they're torn too!- I tried to make it look better.
0:35:42 > 0:35:46I hacked it about a bit with a razor blade.
0:35:46 > 0:35:53- At least it doesn't look so burnt! I could've had a nightmare and stuck my foot through it!- Some nightmare!
0:35:53 > 0:35:56To go through a sheet and two blankets!
0:35:56 > 0:35:59Yeah, well, what am I going to do about it?
0:35:59 > 0:36:06- All you can do is make the whole bed over with all this mess at the bottom.- Wonderful idea.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10- I'll be able to think up an excuse. - It won't like you've burnt them.
0:36:10 > 0:36:15You wouldn't put your head right down at the bottom to smoke!
0:36:15 > 0:36:21What I said about your uncle, I'm afraid I got off on the wrong foot.
0:36:21 > 0:36:27That's OK. Bertrand says people are over-aggressive when they feel insecure among strangers.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30- Dixon!- >
0:36:30 > 0:36:32- You're wanted on the phone!- >
0:36:32 > 0:36:35You go, I'll finish this off.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38- Dixon!- >
0:36:40 > 0:36:45Well, I hope you have a satisfactory explanation about last night!
0:36:45 > 0:36:48Ah, there you are, Dixon.
0:36:48 > 0:36:53We were wondering what, er...what, er...happened to you last...night.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Dixon!
0:36:55 > 0:36:59Excuse me, sir, telephone. Must go, sir.
0:37:00 > 0:37:02Ah, Mr Dixon.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04Morning.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08- What happened to you last night? - Um, I'll explain in a minute,
0:37:08 > 0:37:12- after the telephone. - We're dying to hear.
0:37:14 > 0:37:15Hello.
0:37:15 > 0:37:19That you, sonny boy? How's everything this morning?
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Mother!
0:37:21 > 0:37:25- Is that you?- Mother?! - What? You're really here?
0:37:25 > 0:37:28Oh, and Dad, too.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32Well, yes, yes, I'll come straight away.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35No. No, no, of course not.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Yes. Yes, right-o, then.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Goodbye, Mother.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43I'm terribly sorry, Mrs Welch, I've got to go.
0:37:43 > 0:37:49My parents - quite unexpected really. So goodbye and thank you, Mrs Welch. Goodbye, all.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52I'm sorry, sir. Goodbye.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03DOG BARKS
0:38:13 > 0:38:15£1...
0:38:15 > 0:38:18£1.15/7.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30Coming to breakfast, old boy?
0:38:30 > 0:38:35£1.17/3 altogether. Look, how much are sheets and blankets?
0:38:35 > 0:38:37Oh, stop worrying about that.
0:38:37 > 0:38:42- You're like an old woman! - But they're Welch's and I burnt 'em.
0:38:42 > 0:38:49- Emigrate! Join the Army! Anything, but stop creeping round Welch for fourpence a week.- I am not!
0:38:51 > 0:38:54Look, you don't understand. I'm a teacher.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57- I like the job.- But have you got it?
0:38:57 > 0:39:00Well, I...I don't know.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02HE SIGHS
0:39:02 > 0:39:06- But I'm going to find out.- Good.
0:39:06 > 0:39:10- I'm going to go right up to Welch... - That's my boy.- Right up to him.
0:39:10 > 0:39:16- And I'm...- And?- I'm going to see if I remind him of burning bedclothes.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29Keys.
0:39:32 > 0:39:33Professor.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Oh, yes,
0:39:48 > 0:39:51I wanted to see you.
0:39:51 > 0:39:55- I haven't seen your ground plans. - Plans?- For the quadrangle.
0:39:55 > 0:40:02- The flowers were to be rearranged. Something festive.- But it's tomorrow. There's so little time.
0:40:02 > 0:40:08- I've got to work on Merrie England. - On Merrie England? The work has already been done.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16# Oooh, lucky, lucky... #
0:40:28 > 0:40:34- Looks proper artistic, dunnit? - Not bad at all. How many more? - Another couple of dozen, sir.
0:40:34 > 0:40:40It's staggering 'em what does it. I never like to see my pots congested.
0:40:40 > 0:40:43Fine. Keep at it.
0:40:47 > 0:40:52- Oh, get this stuck up on the board for me, Nesbitt.- Thank you!
0:40:56 > 0:40:59PHONE RINGS
0:40:59 > 0:41:02HE SIGHS
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Hello, what do you want?
0:41:06 > 0:41:12This is Mrs Welch speaking. I want to leave a message for... Ah, that's Mr Dixon,
0:41:12 > 0:41:13'isn't it?'
0:41:13 > 0:41:18I've just been looking at my sheets and blankets, Mr Dixon...
0:41:18 > 0:41:22- POSH VOICE:- Ah, there's been a mistake - there's no Mr Dixon here.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25- 'What number?'- 5,3,2,1, University.
0:41:25 > 0:41:30Oh, that explains it. This is the United Dairies.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37Oh, Dixon.
0:41:37 > 0:41:43Professor Welch is complaining about bicycles being left at the main gate.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46I'd see to it if I were you.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48Thank you(!)
0:41:59 > 0:42:01Oh, James.
0:42:01 > 0:42:07- Can you tell me where to put this? - Yes, by heaven, I can! - Don't shout at me, James.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10Oh, I'm...I'm sorry, Margaret.
0:42:10 > 0:42:16- I don't know where I am - decorations, the lecture!- I thought you might have an apology to make.
0:42:16 > 0:42:23- Who to?- Well, to me! How do you think I feel? How would any girl feel after being compromised?
0:42:23 > 0:42:27Compromised? But who's been compromised?
0:42:27 > 0:42:29Oh, I think you're horrible!
0:42:29 > 0:42:35Don't touch me! Don't speak to me! Keep away from me, you...you fiend!
0:42:35 > 0:42:38SHE SOBS
0:42:38 > 0:42:42< Hey, mind those hydrangeas! Raise it up a bit!
0:42:42 > 0:42:45< No, the other end, you idiot!
0:42:45 > 0:42:47Oh my...!
0:42:47 > 0:42:49Hey!
0:42:49 > 0:42:53Not that one, for heaven's sake! Look at it!
0:42:53 > 0:42:56Now get it off at that end.
0:42:56 > 0:43:00Pick the ones that don't mean anything.
0:43:00 > 0:43:05- And that goes for you, too!- Sir, I thought...- Come on, don't muck about!
0:43:05 > 0:43:12- Who dreamed up this village fete idea? Sir Hector will be amused. - No, he'll like it. It looks gay.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15No!
0:43:15 > 0:43:18Not hydrangeas, too!
0:43:19 > 0:43:22- What's the matter with them? - They're always pink!
0:43:22 > 0:43:26That's how they grow, pink and blue.
0:43:26 > 0:43:31You have blue? Well, we must have some! Great pools of blue there!
0:43:31 > 0:43:35I can't do that, sir. The blue's booked for the Young Conservatives.
0:43:35 > 0:43:43My good man, by that time, the ceremony will be over. Then you can come and collect your plants.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46Look, sir, just tell us what you want.
0:43:46 > 0:43:52And put those up in the far corner! Get it right out of here, Williams.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55CHRISTINE GIGGLES
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Hello.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03That's Bert, one of the founder members.
0:44:03 > 0:44:09- I was thinking it should be carrying an umbrella. - He left it on the bus.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11What does it mean?
0:44:11 > 0:44:17Real joy is a serious matter. You can tell that by looking at him!
0:44:21 > 0:44:24He was one of the original...
0:44:24 > 0:44:30It always amuses me to see the efforts they made to express their psychological fears in stone.
0:44:30 > 0:44:35- Is that what they were at?- We didn't expect YOU to appreciate it.
0:44:35 > 0:44:38Come, Christine, I want my lunch.
0:44:38 > 0:44:39Bye.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41Cheerio.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44Oh, er, sign here, guv, for the flowers.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48Now, the procession.
0:44:48 > 0:44:53We shall assemble here and cross the quadrangle to the hall.
0:44:53 > 0:44:56I shall bring up the rear with the chancellor.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58Now, the ball.
0:44:58 > 0:45:05- Hutchinson?- All fixed, Principal. We have the town hall, a bar, a licence, and an extension!- Splendid.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08You've got the idea!
0:45:08 > 0:45:11FANFARE
0:45:14 > 0:45:21- Well. Hmm. You've certainly done us proud, Welch.- It was the best we could do in the time available.
0:45:41 > 0:45:48- Welcome, Sir Hector.- How are you, Principal?- Very well. May I introduce Professor Welch?
0:45:48 > 0:45:50This is...
0:46:00 > 0:46:05- Get round to that quadrangle quick and load up them plants.- Right-o!
0:46:05 > 0:46:10I hear that Johns has proposed some organ music for the procession.
0:46:10 > 0:46:14Sir Hector, we were all...very, very disappointed,
0:46:14 > 0:46:18especially my son Bertrand, who was looking...
0:46:18 > 0:46:20Excuse me.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23So sorry.
0:46:23 > 0:46:28- Sir Hector, may I present Mr Dixon, also of the history department. - How do you do?
0:46:30 > 0:46:33Oh, my...! Excuse me, sir.
0:46:39 > 0:46:41'Ere!
0:46:41 > 0:46:44Quick! Get them over there!
0:46:44 > 0:46:47Put them back! For crying out loud, put them back!
0:46:47 > 0:46:49Where's the...?
0:46:53 > 0:46:59- What the devil are you doing?- Got to be moved, guv'nor.- But you can't!
0:46:59 > 0:47:03I think, Sir Hector, we ought to get ready for the procession.
0:47:03 > 0:47:08Leave the darn things alone, can't you?! Oh, my heavens!
0:47:08 > 0:47:12Get out of the way! Oi! Where do you think you're going with this lot?
0:47:12 > 0:47:14Here!
0:47:17 > 0:47:20You blithering idiot!
0:47:22 > 0:47:24STUDENTS LAUGH AND JEER
0:47:31 > 0:47:34Bertrand! That oaf! What do you want to listen to him for?!
0:47:34 > 0:47:36We haven't even started the procession yet!
0:47:42 > 0:47:45Put those plants back, quick! >
0:47:54 > 0:47:57Back that lorry up! Joe! Charlie!
0:47:57 > 0:48:00Get them bushes out of the way.
0:48:00 > 0:48:02THEY LAUGH
0:48:04 > 0:48:06Hey!
0:48:06 > 0:48:09STUDENTS LAUGH
0:48:13 > 0:48:15'Ere, let's have a go.
0:48:15 > 0:48:17Go on.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22LORRY STARTS UP
0:48:23 > 0:48:26- Oi! Stop!- Look out!
0:48:26 > 0:48:27Stop!
0:48:34 > 0:48:38STUDENTS LAUGH AND APPLAUD
0:48:38 > 0:48:40CRUNCHING
0:49:14 > 0:49:17'Scuse me, guv'nor!
0:49:21 > 0:49:23THEY CHEER
0:50:00 > 0:50:04WOLF WHISTLES AND CHEERING
0:50:50 > 0:50:53That was real bad luck, chum.
0:51:00 > 0:51:03I understand, sir.
0:51:23 > 0:51:27CEREMONIAL SPEECH BEGINS INSIDE BUILDING
0:51:37 > 0:51:41JOLLY MUSIC PLAYS
0:51:51 > 0:51:57- Of course, the fellow's an absolute oaf. I don't know why Father puts up with him.- Couldn't we dance?
0:51:57 > 0:52:00What, in this mob? My dear girl.
0:52:03 > 0:52:07I'm told, Sir Hector, that the mishap was of political origin.
0:52:07 > 0:52:15- Young Dixon, I'll take it up with him, insisted on pink. I advised blue.- Often the cause of dissention!
0:52:15 > 0:52:22- Principal, would you forgive me for ten minutes. I promised to join my niece.- Of course, sir.
0:52:22 > 0:52:27- I'd have booted Dixon out months ago.- Christine, there you are.
0:52:27 > 0:52:29- Hello, Uncle.- Hello.- Good evening.
0:52:29 > 0:52:33Poor Dixon. Peel's got him cornered again!
0:52:36 > 0:52:39Rescue party, drink up!
0:52:39 > 0:52:43It isn't your reputation that's at stake. I've made excuses for you.
0:52:43 > 0:52:48I know and I'm grateful, but you're making a mountain out of a molehill.
0:52:48 > 0:52:52So my reputation is a molehill, is it? Thank you, James.
0:52:52 > 0:52:59Just because I had a couple and got in your room by mistake doesn't mean to say you're compromised!
0:52:59 > 0:53:03- Nobody knows.- Of course they know! - How? Who told them?
0:53:03 > 0:53:05I did!
0:53:05 > 0:53:06What?!
0:53:06 > 0:53:08Why? Why?
0:53:08 > 0:53:15- James, after all we've been through together, how little you really understand me.- I'm not quite sure.
0:53:15 > 0:53:20SHE SOBS Oh, James, I just...
0:53:23 > 0:53:28There he is! Excuse us, Miss Peel. Come on, we'll buy you a drink!
0:53:28 > 0:53:30Sorry!
0:53:33 > 0:53:35# For he's a jolly good fellow
0:53:35 > 0:53:38# For he's a jolly good fellow
0:53:38 > 0:53:41# For he's a jolly good fellow
0:53:41 > 0:53:43# And so say all of us! #
0:53:43 > 0:53:48CHEERING He seems rather popular, don't you think?
0:53:48 > 0:53:53In one sense, my novel might be considered to be an adventure piece,
0:53:53 > 0:53:57but there are deep psychological implications...
0:53:57 > 0:54:04Three cheers for good old Dixon! ALL: Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray!
0:54:04 > 0:54:09- One can scarcely hear oneself talk. - They're enjoying themselves.- Quite.
0:54:09 > 0:54:14- As I was saying, the psychological implications...- Excuse me. Dixon!
0:54:16 > 0:54:20Dixon! Do you care to come and join us?
0:54:20 > 0:54:22Oh, um... Excuse me.
0:54:22 > 0:54:26- Oh, thank you very much, sir. - Sit down, old chap.
0:54:26 > 0:54:30- You know my niece and Mr Welch. - Hello.
0:54:30 > 0:54:36- Well, this is very kind of you, sir. - As I was saying! At the end of the book, I reach the conclusion...
0:54:36 > 0:54:40- You ought to send it to a publisher. - I was rather hoping that you...
0:54:40 > 0:54:46- Don't you want to dance?- I'd much rather talk.- I'd much rather dance! Will you dance with me?
0:54:47 > 0:54:49Yes.
0:54:49 > 0:54:50Of course.
0:54:50 > 0:54:54- Would you excuse us, Sir Hector. - Certainly.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02Welch, I'm going to need a brandy.
0:55:02 > 0:55:09- A br...? Oh, oh, yes, sir. I'll get it myself. It may be one of the cruder blends.- That's all right.
0:55:19 > 0:55:26- Oh!- I think we'd better sit down, Christine.- Perhaps if you held me a bit closer.- I'll try.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28It's a bit ambitious really.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32There. You see?
0:55:57 > 0:55:59SHE GIGGLES
0:56:04 > 0:56:08- Are you staying till the very end? - Good Lord, no.
0:56:08 > 0:56:15- I was going, but...- I was thinking of going. Bertrand wants to talk to my uncle and I'm rather in the way.
0:56:15 > 0:56:19Oh, if you were going, couldn't I take you home?
0:56:20 > 0:56:24- You don't have to.- I'd love to. I'll see you outside in five minutes.
0:56:24 > 0:56:28- Fine. I'll go and tell Bertrand. - Right. I'll see you outside!
0:56:42 > 0:56:44Taxi!
0:56:44 > 0:56:49- How far are you going?- Larchfield Common.- At this hour of the night?
0:56:49 > 0:56:53- What's the difference? - It's three mile.
0:56:53 > 0:56:59- It's your job to drive people where they want to go. - Don't try to teach me my job!
0:56:59 > 0:57:02- Anyway, I'm booked.- Booked? Well, um...who by?
0:57:02 > 0:57:07- The Principal.- I AM the Principal. - Yes, you look like him(!)
0:57:10 > 0:57:15- Ah, there you are.- OK, but don't try to teach me my job, wack!
0:57:16 > 0:57:21- What did Bertrand say?- He wasn't there, I left a message with Uncle.
0:57:40 > 0:57:46- Do you want Christine, Bertrand? - No, Sir Hector.- Oh, well, when you do, she's gone, slipped away...
0:57:46 > 0:57:48- with Dixon.- Thanks.
0:57:48 > 0:57:51What's that?
0:57:51 > 0:57:54THEY LAUGH
0:57:54 > 0:57:58- It's funny how he ceded to talk to you. May I ask you a question?- Do.
0:57:58 > 0:58:02- How old do you think I am? - Oh, about, um...24.
0:58:02 > 0:58:05- That's just the trouble.- Oh?
0:58:05 > 0:58:09I won't be 20 until next birthday. I only seem to be old.
0:58:09 > 0:58:13- It makes things awfully difficult. - Difficult?
0:58:13 > 0:58:16Well, in, um...what way?
0:58:16 > 0:58:22All the men I go out with seem to think I'm older than I really am. It's such a nuisance.
0:58:22 > 0:58:26- How do you mean?- It's so difficult if you don't want to be seduced.
0:58:26 > 0:58:28JIM SNIGGERS
0:58:31 > 0:58:33Oh, yes, I see(!)
0:58:33 > 0:58:41- That's one of the things I like about Bertrand.- Bertrand?!- Yes, he hasn't tried to seduce me once!
0:58:45 > 0:58:49That's why you like him, because he hasn't tried to make love to you?
0:58:49 > 0:58:54- Well, no, there's more to it than that.- There'll need to be. What else?
0:58:54 > 0:59:00He's so intelligent. He knows so much about people and how they feel about...things.
0:59:00 > 0:59:04- Does he know how you feel about "things"?- I'm not sure.
0:59:04 > 0:59:07But then I'm not really sure myself.
0:59:07 > 0:59:13- Anyway, Bertrand says that's only natural at the beginning. - The beginning of what?
0:59:13 > 0:59:20- Of becoming adult. If I'm going to marry Bertrand, I realise... - Marry?! Are you in love with him?
0:59:20 > 0:59:27- Why use that word?- Why not? - I'm not sure I know what it means. - You must have come across it!
0:59:27 > 0:59:31- Does he send you to the dictionary every time?!- You're exaggerating!
0:59:31 > 0:59:38It's simple. You know if you like greengages or not, you know if you're in love with Bertrand or not.
0:59:38 > 0:59:43It isn't as easy as that. You can change about people but you can always be sure about greengages.
0:59:43 > 0:59:47- All right, what about rhubarb? - CAR BRAKES
0:59:49 > 0:59:51Excuse me.
0:59:51 > 0:59:56- This is it.- Oh.- I'm afraid I forgot to ask for a key.
0:59:56 > 1:00:00- Would you mind coming with me in case I can't get in?- All right.
1:00:05 > 1:00:07You'd better wait.
1:00:07 > 1:00:10You won't be long.
1:00:13 > 1:00:15Oh, it is open.
1:00:17 > 1:00:20I'll, er, put the light on for you.
1:00:44 > 1:00:47Have some cocoa.
1:00:47 > 1:00:50I don't want any cocoa.
1:01:06 > 1:01:11- When am I going to see you again, Christine?- I don't know.
1:01:11 > 1:01:15What about some supper after the lecture tomorrow night?
1:01:15 > 1:01:18- I-I don't think I can do that. - Why not?
1:01:18 > 1:01:21It's too complicated.
1:01:21 > 1:01:24Well, what about coffee tomorrow morning?
1:01:25 > 1:01:26Where?
1:01:26 > 1:01:29- Central Hotel, 11.30. - TAXI HORN BEEPS
1:01:29 > 1:01:32All right, I'll try. You must go.
1:01:34 > 1:01:37Night, Christine.
1:01:56 > 1:02:01And the next thing I know, my dear chap, she's in my arms.
1:02:01 > 1:02:07- Her head comes up to about here.- Are you going to do something about it. - We're having coffee this morning.
1:02:07 > 1:02:12- How's your lecture coming along?- All wrapped up and ready to go! Listen.
1:02:12 > 1:02:15Now then, where are we? Here.
1:02:15 > 1:02:22"And so, let each and every one of us speak out fearlessly in the cause of rustic culture.
1:02:22 > 1:02:28"In this way, we will keep a garden in our hearts that is for ever Merrie England."
1:02:28 > 1:02:32You're going to keep a garden in your heart?
1:02:40 > 1:02:44- Does it mean anything? - Not a perishing thing!
1:02:50 > 1:02:56"Keep a garden in your heart"?! They'll chuck chairs at you!
1:03:14 > 1:03:16Oh, hello.
1:03:16 > 1:03:19I'm sorry I'm late, Christine,
1:03:19 > 1:03:22but, er, well, I got a bit held up.
1:03:22 > 1:03:24How are you?
1:03:24 > 1:03:27- (Fine.)- Good.
1:03:27 > 1:03:31Like some coffee? Waiter, two coffees, please.
1:03:40 > 1:03:44- You're not nervous being here with me, are you?- No.
1:03:48 > 1:03:52Well, er, everything all right at the Welch's?
1:03:52 > 1:03:54Yes.
1:03:54 > 1:03:56No trouble about last night?
1:03:56 > 1:03:58No.
1:03:58 > 1:04:00- At least...- Yes?- Jim...
1:04:00 > 1:04:02Yes, Christine.
1:04:04 > 1:04:06Thank you!
1:04:12 > 1:04:14Well?
1:04:14 > 1:04:17- What?- You were just going to tell me something.
1:04:17 > 1:04:20Oh, it doesn't matter.
1:04:23 > 1:04:26- Look, have a cigarette.- No. Thank you.
1:04:26 > 1:04:30Bertrand's been unpleasant, has he?
1:04:30 > 1:04:33Not only Bertrand, all of them.
1:04:33 > 1:04:37- They made me feel...mean. - They're pretty good at that.
1:04:37 > 1:04:40Christine, is that what's upset you?
1:04:40 > 1:04:45- I mean, not what happened last night?- Yes, it was, partly.
1:04:45 > 1:04:47Partly?
1:04:47 > 1:04:49Christine, I mean...
1:05:01 > 1:05:06- Didn't you like what happened?- Yes. I mean, I did at the time.
1:05:06 > 1:05:12- Now I...I don't think I should have come here this morning. - What's wrong with having coffee?
1:05:12 > 1:05:15- Or rather, not having coffee. - It's not that.
1:05:15 > 1:05:18What is it, then? Can't you tell me?
1:05:18 > 1:05:23I just make trouble for everyone. I just make them unhappy.
1:05:23 > 1:05:26Oh, for Pete's sake!
1:05:26 > 1:05:31Look...Christine, you've made me happier than I've been for months.
1:05:31 > 1:05:37That's just it, I was sort of settled with Bertrand till you came along.
1:05:37 > 1:05:41Now I... Jim, I've decided what I'm going to do.
1:05:41 > 1:05:44- Oh? What's that? - I'm going to give up men.
1:05:44 > 1:05:46WHAT?!
1:05:48 > 1:05:50What?
1:05:50 > 1:05:54For a few years, anyway. I don't really think I'm old enough for this sort of thing.
1:05:54 > 1:05:57Do stop worrying about your age.
1:05:57 > 1:06:01- I've got to worry about it! Nobody else does.- You're not going.
1:06:01 > 1:06:07- I shouldn't have come.- Are we going to see each other again? - It's better that we don't.
1:06:07 > 1:06:14- I shall be coming to the lecture. - Lovely(!) Grand(!)- I'm sorry. I'm sure I'm doing the right thing.
1:06:14 > 1:06:16- Goodbye.- This is ridiculous.
1:06:16 > 1:06:18Christine!
1:06:47 > 1:06:50- My change.- Change?
1:06:50 > 1:06:54- Yes, I gave you two bob. - Coffee's 1/6.- That's right.
1:06:57 > 1:07:00Most gentlemen give me a tip.
1:07:00 > 1:07:04Most gentlemen would give you a kick up the...!
1:07:23 > 1:07:29- What are you going to do?- I'm going to tell Welch where he gets off!
1:07:29 > 1:07:32It's quite out of the question.
1:07:32 > 1:07:39- We can't start chopping...and changing everything just because... - I just want to give my own lecture.
1:07:39 > 1:07:42You are undermining my, er... my, er...
1:07:42 > 1:07:48Going off in the middle of the ball! How can I explain that to Mrs Welch?
1:07:48 > 1:07:50Or the disgrace you made of the, er, procession?
1:07:50 > 1:07:54- But Mrs Welch...- Mrs Welch has nothing to do with it!
1:07:54 > 1:08:00I can't be expected to suffer... My wife says not only the sheet, but two blankets as well!
1:08:00 > 1:08:06- I should have apologised before, sir.- Please keep to the point!
1:08:06 > 1:08:12You are representing me, Dixon, the history department. There's the question of your contract.
1:08:12 > 1:08:16Ooh, I was something of a rebel myself at your age.
1:08:16 > 1:08:20- Youth must give place to... - Yes, sir.
1:08:20 > 1:08:26Good. I'm very glad we've had this little talk. I'm always behind you, Dixon. Don't forget that.
1:08:26 > 1:08:29No, sir, I won't.
1:08:29 > 1:08:34- It's all there in the manuscript I gave you. Merrie England. - PHONE RINGS
1:08:42 > 1:08:45History speaking.
1:09:13 > 1:09:15Ah! Here you are, Dixon.
1:09:15 > 1:09:22- Go away!- Now, listen, you stinker... - Buzz off! I've got my lecture to... - Damn your lecture! About Christine.
1:09:22 > 1:09:28- She's only a child. You ought to know better. I'm not having it, Dixon.- You've already had it!
1:09:28 > 1:09:34- Precisely the attitude one expects. Amongst decent people, Dixon, there's a code.- Put a sock in it!- When...
1:09:34 > 1:09:39- When a young girl becomes emotionally involved...- With you?!- Definitely.
1:09:39 > 1:09:44- Has she told you?- I'm here to teach you manners, not answer questions!
1:09:44 > 1:09:48- Some other time!- Why, you dirty little grammar-school pipsqueak!
1:09:48 > 1:09:55- Put up your fists!- Melodramatic tripe! People stopped saying that when button-boots went out!- Father!
1:09:56 > 1:09:58Right! You've asked for it.
1:10:00 > 1:10:02Right. ..Ooh!
1:10:03 > 1:10:06Perhaps that'll teach you a lesson!
1:10:17 > 1:10:19JIM LAUGHS, KETTLE WHISTLES
1:10:19 > 1:10:21DOG BARKS
1:10:27 > 1:10:29Get down, blast you!
1:10:29 > 1:10:35- Have I come at a bad time, old boy? - Not at all. Mr Welch is just going.
1:10:35 > 1:10:39Boadicea, stop it! You won't get away with this, Dixon.
1:10:39 > 1:10:44Not with me, you won't. Better start looking for another job.
1:10:44 > 1:10:46Oh...fall down the stairs!
1:10:46 > 1:10:49Come on.
1:10:49 > 1:10:52Well! What was all that about?
1:10:52 > 1:10:55- Christine.- Oh, jolly good.
1:10:56 > 1:10:58- There.- Cheers.- Cheers.
1:10:58 > 1:11:03- What about Christine?- She's given up men.- What's she going in for now?
1:11:03 > 1:11:10- Why are we having a party?- Tune you up for the lecture.- I'm back up the creek with Merrie England. Look!
1:11:10 > 1:11:12Nice! You're on in four hours' time.
1:11:12 > 1:11:19- Oh!- Take a couple of these pills, old boy. They give you confidence. I use them for selling pre-war cars.
1:11:19 > 1:11:23I say! That eye is going to be a beauty.
1:11:23 > 1:11:28Tell you what - if you get stuck, I'll create a diversion. I'll faint.
1:11:28 > 1:11:33- If you want me to, scratch your ear - like this.- Don't be a clot!
1:11:33 > 1:11:35- Better shove this on your eye.- Ooh!
1:11:35 > 1:11:40- Dinner jacket?- Yes.- Got a shirt? - Yes.- Good. Mine's filthy.
1:11:40 > 1:11:44Given up men(?) She doesn't know what's good for her!
1:11:55 > 1:11:57I've made up my mind, Bertrand.
1:11:57 > 1:12:03My dear girl, by renouncing mankind, you can't possibly expect to solve your problems.
1:12:03 > 1:12:09Though I must say, it shows a familiar defence mechanism. We'll talk about that later.
1:12:09 > 1:12:13Look after her for me, will you? She's quite domesticated.
1:12:15 > 1:12:17Thank you!
1:12:17 > 1:12:21Merrie England - a subject I have studied over a period of many years.
1:12:21 > 1:12:26- Chancellor, we're due on the platform in five minutes.- Excuse me.
1:12:26 > 1:12:30- Welch, I'm looking forward to this lecture of Dixon's.- Hmm!
1:12:39 > 1:12:43- SPLASHING - Ah! Dixon!
1:12:43 > 1:12:47- Oh! Good evening, sir. - Nervous?- A bit, sir.
1:12:47 > 1:12:49- Take a good pull at this.- Well...
1:12:49 > 1:12:52- Go on!- Thank you very much, sir.
1:13:08 > 1:13:14- Feel better?- Much, thank you, sir. As a matter of fact, I've already taken some pills to pep me up.
1:13:14 > 1:13:19You have? Good Lord! Perhaps you oughtn't to have taken this.
1:13:19 > 1:13:25- Pep pills and alcohol can make you drunk pretty quickly. - I'm feeling all right, thanks, sir.
1:13:25 > 1:13:28- Nasty eye.- Yes, sir.
1:13:28 > 1:13:33- You don't seem to have much luck, Dixon.- Oh, I dunno, sir.
1:13:33 > 1:13:39- Where did you go to school?- Local grammar school, sir.- How long have you been in this game?- Nine months.
1:13:39 > 1:13:43- Happy?- Not particularly.- Where's the trouble - in you or the job?
1:13:43 > 1:13:47Oh, both, I daresay. I waste their time, and they waste mine.
1:13:47 > 1:13:51- You think teaching history is a waste of time?- On the contrary, sir.
1:13:51 > 1:13:55Well taught, it can do people a lot of good. Bad teaching's the trouble.
1:13:55 > 1:14:02- I see. Well, Dixon, tonight you can show us how it's done. - Afraid not, sir.- Oh?
1:14:02 > 1:14:06- The lecture isn't mine. It's Professor Welch's.- Welch's?- Yes.
1:14:06 > 1:14:10By agreeing to give his, I may have saved myself from getting the sack.
1:14:10 > 1:14:17- Really?- I'm afraid you're in for a boring evening, sir.- It's all right. I suffer hours of boredom every day.
1:14:17 > 1:14:23- A couple more won't break my back. - Why do you stand for it, sir? You can afford not to.
1:14:23 > 1:14:29I'm afraid that's a question I haven't time to answer now. You're the star tonight, Dixon. Good luck.
1:14:29 > 1:14:32Thank you, sir.
1:14:33 > 1:14:36Star!
1:14:36 > 1:14:38HICCUPS
1:14:40 > 1:14:43# Ooh, lucky! #
1:14:46 > 1:14:49APPLAUSE
1:14:57 > 1:14:59All right, Welch?
1:15:07 > 1:15:13- CLEARS THROAT - Er, Chancellor, my Lord Mayor, ladies and gentlemen.
1:15:13 > 1:15:16It is my happy duty to announce
1:15:16 > 1:15:22that, er, er, Professor Bryant's lec... That although Professor Bryant cannot be with us tonight,
1:15:22 > 1:15:29the History Memorial Lecture will be delivered by a member of my department.
1:15:32 > 1:15:36It is natural, therefore, that he should have chosen for his subject
1:15:36 > 1:15:39er, my, um...
1:15:39 > 1:15:42That he should have chosen Merrie England.
1:15:42 > 1:15:45Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Dixon.
1:15:53 > 1:15:55LAUGHTER
1:16:10 > 1:16:13AUDIENCE GASPS AND TITTERS
1:16:14 > 1:16:16Pretty!
1:16:31 > 1:16:33(Start, Dixon! Start!)
1:16:36 > 1:16:40- (It is...) - CLEARS THROAT
1:16:40 > 1:16:44- SLURRING: - It is a truism
1:16:44 > 1:16:47that the character of an age
1:16:47 > 1:16:51can best be defined in terms of its art.
1:16:55 > 1:16:57(What's the matter, Dixon? Go on.)
1:16:57 > 1:17:00Sorry, sir. A bit nervous.
1:17:00 > 1:17:04- SLURRING EVEN MORE: - How better, then, can we reveal
1:17:04 > 1:17:08the happy, carefree spirit of the Middle Ages than through its music?
1:17:08 > 1:17:11And, in particular,
1:17:11 > 1:17:16in the structure of the Tudor mad-rigal.
1:17:16 > 1:17:19TITTERING
1:17:19 > 1:17:21Ssh! Ssh!
1:17:23 > 1:17:25It...
1:17:28 > 1:17:31..would not be going too far to say
1:17:31 > 1:17:36that the madrigal, in its purest form,
1:17:36 > 1:17:40may be...in its purest form,
1:17:40 > 1:17:46may be taken to represent the highest ideals of democracy.
1:17:47 > 1:17:50As a 'stinguished scholar...
1:17:50 > 1:17:53PEALS OF LAUGHTER
1:17:56 > 1:18:01..distinguished scholar... Thank you very much, sir. Thank you.
1:18:01 > 1:18:05..as a distinguished scholar has observed,
1:18:05 > 1:18:09and happily he is with us here tonight...
1:18:17 > 1:18:21.."While each strand in the marvellous web of polyphony
1:18:21 > 1:18:24"is a thing of beauty and delight,
1:18:24 > 1:18:28"the total effect to the outside listener
1:18:28 > 1:18:33"may always seem to be less... less than the sum of its parts.
1:18:35 > 1:18:38The fellow's an absolute fool!
1:18:41 > 1:18:45(Get on with it, Dixon! Stop wasting time!)
1:18:54 > 1:18:57How clear the implications are...
1:18:57 > 1:19:01- This was performers' music... - GROWLING
1:19:01 > 1:19:05Everybody sang, everybody -
1:19:05 > 1:19:09scullions and serving wenches, they sang.
1:19:09 > 1:19:13The lords and their ladies, they sang. And the children sang.
1:19:13 > 1:19:15And the archers sang,
1:19:15 > 1:19:19and the bowmen, and the yeomen, they sang.
1:19:19 > 1:19:25There are cynics, of course, who will decry the moral influence of the lute.
1:19:25 > 1:19:29WHIMPERING
1:19:39 > 1:19:41THEY JEER
1:19:48 > 1:19:53(Well, Dixon, continue. ..Dixon!
1:19:53 > 1:19:56("It is not without significance...")
1:19:58 > 1:20:02It is not without, er, significance
1:20:02 > 1:20:07that the arts...the arts included
1:20:07 > 1:20:10stained glass music...
1:20:10 > 1:20:13..stained musical glass,
1:20:13 > 1:20:17and arti-checture...
1:20:17 > 1:20:24- especially a class-ecclesical architecture. - HICCUPS
1:20:24 > 1:20:27(He's drunk!)
1:20:27 > 1:20:30Such were the simple joys of olden times.
1:20:30 > 1:20:37One wonders what the good citizens of that happy era would have thought of the effusions
1:20:37 > 1:20:40of the radio, the cinema,
1:20:40 > 1:20:42and television.
1:20:45 > 1:20:49"One wonders"? Well, who wonders?
1:20:49 > 1:20:53I don't wonder! Do YOU wonder?
1:20:53 > 1:20:56NO-O!
1:20:56 > 1:21:03- What do you think you're doing, Dixon?- What do I think I'm doing? That's a good one! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
1:21:03 > 1:21:08I'll tell you what I'm doing! Henry Ford said, "History is bunk!"
1:21:08 > 1:21:14- Well, if the stuff I've just dished out to you is history, Henry Ford was right!- Hurray!
1:21:16 > 1:21:18Aagh!
1:21:20 > 1:21:25Shut up! Don't worry about him, he's faking. Get up, Bill! I'm all right.
1:21:26 > 1:21:32Merrie England?! Lutes and flutes and chase-me-round-the-maypole?!
1:21:32 > 1:21:36Phoney baloney! It never was merrie! It was murder.
1:21:36 > 1:21:41Poverty, starvation, ignorance, tyranny, bloodshed - the lot!
1:21:41 > 1:21:47But the boys that feed you that soft-centred slop about the good old days, they don't want to know!
1:21:47 > 1:21:53They can't take it! Facts are too nasty for them. Can't bear reality - cover it up, that's their motto.
1:21:53 > 1:21:59Well, don't you do it. Just take a look at the facts - they're all around you. Don't be afraid of them.
1:21:59 > 1:22:04They won't bite. They may nibble a bit, but you bite 'em back!
1:22:12 > 1:22:14(What do you think you're doing?!)
1:22:14 > 1:22:17There was another thing, too...
1:22:19 > 1:22:21LOUD CHEERING
1:22:27 > 1:22:32CHANTING: Good old Dixon! Good old Dixon!
1:22:32 > 1:22:34Good old Dixon! Good old Dixon!
1:22:34 > 1:22:37Good old Dixon!
1:22:37 > 1:22:41Good old Dixon! Good old Dixon...!
1:22:44 > 1:22:47BELLS CHIME
1:22:50 > 1:22:56Perhaps it was all a little unfair. Only one of you against so many of us. Goodbye, Dixon.
1:22:56 > 1:22:58Goodbye, sir. Thank you.
1:22:59 > 1:23:02Oh, Dixon!
1:23:02 > 1:23:05- In my day, we found Nelson's Blood was a help.- Sir?
1:23:05 > 1:23:09Rum and strong ale - pulls you together.
1:23:18 > 1:23:21Would aspirin do any good?
1:23:21 > 1:23:24No. Nothing less than a guillotine.
1:23:24 > 1:23:29What a farewell! How do you feel as a retired junior lecturer?
1:23:29 > 1:23:34Oh! When I can feel anything, I think I'm going to feel fine.
1:23:34 > 1:23:36Like getting out of jail! Ooh!
1:23:36 > 1:23:41- That's where we dropped you, old boy. - Mmm?- Getting you upstairs.
1:23:41 > 1:23:45- Well, what are you going to do? - Look for another job, I suppose.
1:23:45 > 1:23:48I'm free, very ill and only 24.
1:23:48 > 1:23:51Well, what else?
1:23:51 > 1:23:53Ah!
1:23:53 > 1:23:57Merrie ruddy England! Now, where are those sheets?
1:23:57 > 1:23:59Coming up.
1:24:02 > 1:24:05Right. Now for the Welches.
1:24:06 > 1:24:09PHONE RINGS
1:24:13 > 1:24:16Yes? ..Speaking.
1:24:16 > 1:24:19..Who?
1:24:19 > 1:24:22Oh! Oh, good morning, sir.
1:24:22 > 1:24:24Yes, I'm afraid so, sir.
1:24:24 > 1:24:31Have you got anything in view? Would you care to come and see me at my London office next week?
1:24:31 > 1:24:35Oh, I would, sir. Thank you very much, sir.
1:24:37 > 1:24:41..Thank you very much, sir. Goodbye, sir.
1:24:44 > 1:24:46Johns, there's a call for you.
1:24:46 > 1:24:51- Who is it?- The Principal. They're fetching him. You have to hold on.
1:24:53 > 1:24:55Hello?
1:25:10 > 1:25:12Well, good luck, old boy.
1:25:12 > 1:25:15- Thanks, Bill. So long.- So long.
1:25:23 > 1:25:25Hello?
1:25:29 > 1:25:32RINGS DOORBELL
1:25:32 > 1:25:35Well?
1:25:35 > 1:25:39Ah! Good morning, Mrs Welch. I owe you a sheet and two blankets.
1:25:39 > 1:25:46- Hope you like the colour - white. - Dixon! Where have you been? I was phoning.- I had to see the principal.
1:25:46 > 1:25:53- Nonsense. You only see the principal through me.- This was urgent.- You saw him over my head?- You weren't there.
1:25:53 > 1:25:57- You have the impertinence to come here...- Please, let me deal with it.
1:25:57 > 1:26:02- I'll see you in my rooms...- Sorry, it's impossible.- You've a nerve!
1:26:02 > 1:26:06- Let me handle this. Dixon's a member of my staff...- But I'm not.- What?
1:26:06 > 1:26:10- Your staff. I've resigned.- Rubbish! It's not the end of term.
1:26:10 > 1:26:13- Your contract... - Stick it up your jumper!
1:26:13 > 1:26:18- I beg your pardon, Mrs Welch.- Neddy, Bertrand, are you going to allow...?
1:26:18 > 1:26:22- No, I'm not! Look here, Dixon... - One at a time, please.
1:26:22 > 1:26:26Mrs Welch, you've got your sheets. No need for thanks.
1:26:26 > 1:26:32Here's Merrie England. It had me in fits. Get Johns to set it to music. Oh, and razor blades for Junior.
1:26:32 > 1:26:37- If you don't get out of here, I'll...I'll...- Well, go on.
1:26:37 > 1:26:40- I'll give you the biggest... - Bertrand!- Listen to me...
1:26:40 > 1:26:43THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER
1:26:43 > 1:26:46Quiet!
1:26:46 > 1:26:50- Now, I'd like to speak to Christine.- Oh, would you?
1:26:56 > 1:27:02- Ah, James!- Look, I was just going. I came to say goodbye.- Goodbye?
1:27:02 > 1:27:06- Yes, I'm leaving, but I've got to see Christine.- Well, you won't.
1:27:06 > 1:27:11- Oh, won't I? Christine!- James, stop behaving like an idiot. She's gone.
1:27:11 > 1:27:15On the 11.15. So you may as well calm down and listen to me.
1:27:15 > 1:27:22I think we ought to go somewhere quiet and talk this over calmly. The last time we were together...
1:27:25 > 1:27:26James!
1:27:28 > 1:27:30James!
1:27:30 > 1:27:32James!
1:27:33 > 1:27:39- Who's there?- It's Dixon! He's stolen the car!- Dixon's stolen the car!
1:27:39 > 1:27:41- Well, stop him!- How?- I'll catch him!
1:27:41 > 1:27:47- Get the police.- Too late. Margaret, is this yours? Can I borrow it? - Yes. I'll ring for the police.
1:27:47 > 1:27:51- He'll make straight for the station. - The station, quick!
1:27:51 > 1:27:54Blasted thing!
1:28:42 > 1:28:45Mad! Ought to be locked up.
1:28:55 > 1:29:01- Mother must have taken the short cut.- The what?- The short cut - across the stile.
1:29:01 > 1:29:07- Never get a car over there! - Not Dixon! Mother!- Other what?
1:29:22 > 1:29:24BANG!
1:29:38 > 1:29:40TRAIN WHISTLES
1:30:04 > 1:30:07Single to London, quick!
1:30:13 > 1:30:15- It's a disgrace!- What does it mean?
1:30:15 > 1:30:18BLOWS WHISTLE
1:30:22 > 1:30:28Open her up! Come on! Quick! Sharpish! All right, throw her in!
1:30:53 > 1:30:55# Oh, Lucky Jim
1:30:55 > 1:30:58# How I envy him
1:30:58 > 1:31:02# Oh, Lucky Jim
1:31:02 > 1:31:07# How I envy
1:31:07 > 1:31:13# How I envy him!
1:31:15 > 1:31:20# Oh, Lucky Jim
1:31:21 > 1:31:25# How...I envy him! #
1:31:25 > 1:31:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd