0:01:24 > 0:01:26Manhattan...
0:01:26 > 0:01:28New York...
0:01:28 > 0:01:30USA.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34In any discussion of contemporary America
0:01:34 > 0:01:36and how its people live,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38we must inevitably start with Manhattan,
0:01:38 > 0:01:42New York City, USA.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43Manhattan -
0:01:43 > 0:01:47glistening modern giant of concrete and steel,
0:01:47 > 0:01:48reaching to the heavens
0:01:48 > 0:01:52and cradling in its arms seven millions...
0:01:52 > 0:01:53seven millions...
0:01:53 > 0:01:56happy beneficiaries of the advantages and comforts
0:01:56 > 0:01:59this great metropolis has to offer.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Its fine, wide boulevards facilitate
0:02:01 > 0:02:05the New Yorker's carefree, orderly existence.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07HORNS HONK
0:02:13 > 0:02:15A transportation system second to none
0:02:15 > 0:02:17in passenger comfort.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Quaint little sidewalk cafes
0:02:21 > 0:02:23make for leisurely, gracious living.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25For its nature lovers,
0:02:25 > 0:02:30the peace and privacy of a day in the sun.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35The city offers delightful changes in climate.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42I suppose you're wondering
0:02:42 > 0:02:45what all this has to do
0:02:44 > 0:02:46with Mr Blandings and his dream house.
0:02:46 > 0:02:47Well, I'll tell you.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Jim Blandings is part of the fabric of this town.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Born and raised right here,
0:02:53 > 0:02:55he's as typical a New Yorker as anyone you'll ever meet...
0:02:55 > 0:02:57at least, he was.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00If you want to know the real story,
0:03:00 > 0:03:01I guess I'm your boy.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03My name's Cole, Bill Cole.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I'm Jim's lawyer and "best friend".
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Jim's one of those bright young fellas
0:03:08 > 0:03:10you see around town.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11College graduate, advertising business,
0:03:11 > 0:03:15lovely wife, two fine kids, makes about 15,000 a year.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Jim and Muriel Blandings are just like
0:03:18 > 0:03:20thousands of other New Yorkers -
0:03:19 > 0:03:22modern cliff dwellers.
0:03:22 > 0:03:23The morning it all started
0:03:23 > 0:03:26was just another of those crisp September mornings.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29And the Blandings were still asleep.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31ALARM RINGS
0:03:34 > 0:03:35ALARM STOPS
0:03:42 > 0:03:44ALARM STARTS
0:03:52 > 0:03:54ALARM STOPS
0:04:00 > 0:04:02ALARM STARTS
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Yes, yes.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19ALARM STOPS
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Oh.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28WATER RUNNING
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Betsy.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33OK, Dad.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Joan.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45OK, Dad.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09CHIRPING
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Good morning, Theodore.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15Good morning, Mr Blandings.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Good morning, Gussie.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Mmm, thank you.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06Thank you.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Looking for something?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21My socks.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Why don't you look in your sock drawer?
0:07:23 > 0:07:26That's where I found my underwear.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Oh.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Well, try your underwear drawer.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33I am in my underwear drawer.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Well, they must be somewhere.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46They can't walk away by themselves.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Muriel, I thought we had it clearly understood
0:07:48 > 0:07:52that these two...two and a half top drawers were mine.
0:07:52 > 0:07:53I thought... Why...
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Oh.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56The closet.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58That's where they are.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59We put them in the closet.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Put what in the closet?
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Your socks.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04There didn't seem to be enough room in the drawers...
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Oh, and there's so much of it in the closet.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08So, Gussie and I decided that from now on
0:08:08 > 0:08:10we'd keep them in a basket on the shelf.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12Basket.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19Hmm...
0:08:21 > 0:08:22This...
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Jim, dear,
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I do wish you'd try
0:08:38 > 0:08:40to make a little effort.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I'll try, dear.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Oh.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59< CRASHING
0:09:03 > 0:09:05< GIRL SCREAMS
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Father, just one morning, I wish you'd knock!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I beg your pardon.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55HE COUGHS
0:10:00 > 0:10:03HE HUMS
0:10:50 > 0:10:54# Home, home, home on the range
0:10:54 > 0:10:58# Where the deer and the antelope play
0:10:58 > 0:11:02# Where seldom is heard
0:11:02 > 0:11:05# A discouraging word... #
0:11:06 > 0:11:09MURIEL: # Home, home on the range
0:11:09 > 0:11:13# Where the deer and the antelope play. #
0:11:14 > 0:11:16< Wash cloth, dear.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Thank you.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26# Where seldom is heard
0:11:26 > 0:11:28# A discouraging word
0:11:28 > 0:11:31# And the skies are not cloudy all day. #
0:11:41 > 0:11:42< Towel, dear.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25If you don't mind, dear.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27One moment.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28Aah!
0:12:32 > 0:12:33Take your time.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I can spare the blood.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Did you cut yourself?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38I cut myself every morning.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40I kind of look forward to it.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Why don't you use an electric razor?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Can't get used to them.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Oh, that's silly.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Bill Cole's been using one for years.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50He hasn't got my beard.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52Bill's beard is just as coarse...
0:12:52 > 0:12:55I am not interested in discussing
0:12:55 > 0:12:58the grain and texture of Bill Cole's hair follicles
0:12:58 > 0:13:00before I've had my breakfast.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04All I said was, why don't you use an electric razor?
0:13:04 > 0:13:08Because I prefer the clean sweep of the tempered steel as it glides...
0:13:08 > 0:13:09No advertising copy, please.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11And hurry up.
0:13:11 > 0:13:12You'll be late for breakfast.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Who did it? Yes?
0:13:24 > 0:13:25I did.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Haven't I repeatedly told you
0:13:27 > 0:13:29not to cut up the morning paper
0:13:29 > 0:13:31until I've had a chance to look at it?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33I'm sorry, Father. It's necessary research.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36What's that? Another of Miss Stellwagon's so-called progressive projects?
0:13:36 > 0:13:37Coming through, Theodore.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Does Theodore have to have breakfast with us?
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Can't you take him in the living room?
0:13:44 > 0:13:48There's just no point sending your children to an expensive school
0:13:48 > 0:13:51if you undermine the teacher's authority in your own dining room.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I'm not undermining anything.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55I'm in the advertising business,
0:13:55 > 0:13:57and keeping abreast of the times is important to me.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59So is your children's education.
0:13:59 > 0:14:00Well, that's not the point.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02- It certainly is. - Not.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Bicker, bicker, bicker.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06You drink your milk.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Joan, every time your father and I
0:14:09 > 0:14:11have a lively discussion,
0:14:11 > 0:14:12we aren't necessarily bickering.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14What is it, Betsy? Another English composition?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Miss Stellwagon has assigned each of us
0:14:17 > 0:14:19to take a classified ad
0:14:19 > 0:14:22and write a human-interest theme about it.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25I found one typical of the disintegration of our present society.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27I wasn't aware of the fact our society was disintegrating.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29I didn't expect you to be, Father.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Miss Stellwagon says that middle-class people like us
0:14:31 > 0:14:33are all too prone to overlook...
0:14:33 > 0:14:35Muriel, I know this is asking a lot,
0:14:34 > 0:14:38but just one morning I would like to sit down and have breakfast
0:14:38 > 0:14:39without social significance.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Jim, you really must take more interest
0:14:41 > 0:14:42in your children's education.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Can't squeeze blood from a turnip.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49All right. I listen.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Shoot.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53It's just 16 words.
0:14:53 > 0:14:58I'm going to call it, "A Minor Tragedy Of Our Times."
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Well?
0:15:00 > 0:15:04"Forced to sell. Farm dwelling. Original beams.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08"Barn, apple orchard, trout stream,
0:15:08 > 0:15:12"seclusion, superb view...
0:15:12 > 0:15:14"will sacrifice."
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Go on.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19That's all.
0:15:19 > 0:15:20That's all?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23You don't see it, do you, Father?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26No. A fellow wants to sell his house, so he puts an ad in the paper.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28What did you expect him to do? Take it to the United Nations?
0:15:28 > 0:15:32There must be more to it than that, isn't there, dear?
0:15:32 > 0:15:33Certainly, Mother.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36What some people don't see is the whole sordid picture.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37A poor, honest farmer,
0:15:37 > 0:15:40pushed to the wall by hardship
0:15:40 > 0:15:43until finally, in desperation, he's forced to sell
0:15:43 > 0:15:46and stoops to the crass commercialism
0:15:45 > 0:15:49of newspaper advertising.
0:15:49 > 0:15:50Oh, indeed.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Newspaper advertising, hmm?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Crass commercialism?
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Miss Stellwagon says advertising
0:15:55 > 0:15:57is a basically parasitic profession.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58You don't say?
0:15:58 > 0:16:01Miss Stellwagon says advertising makes people who can't afford it
0:16:01 > 0:16:03buy things they don't want
0:16:03 > 0:16:06with money they haven't got.
0:16:06 > 0:16:07Oh, she does, does she?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Perhaps your Miss Stellwagon is right.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Perhaps I should quit this basically parasitic profession,
0:16:12 > 0:16:15which at the very moment is paying
0:16:15 > 0:16:17for your fancy tuition
0:16:17 > 0:16:18and those extra French lessons
0:16:18 > 0:16:20and that progressive summer camp
0:16:20 > 0:16:22to say nothing of the very braces on your back teeth.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Jim, I wish you wouldn't discuss money
0:16:24 > 0:16:26in front of the children.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Why not? They spend enough of it.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Bicker, bicker, bicker.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Girls, get your things and run along.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33You'll be late for school.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Bye, Daddy.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Give my regards to Miss Stellwagon.
0:16:39 > 0:16:40DOORBELL RINGS
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I'll get it!
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Oh, hello. We haven't seen you in ages!
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Hello, Bill!
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Betsy, is your mother up? She's in there.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Come on, Betsy!
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Wait!
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Bye!
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Morning, Muriel.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Good morning, Bill.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Hiya, Jim. Hello, Bill.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59I thought you were going out to Lillie and Paul's for the weekend.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02I am. They're picking me up in a few minutes.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03But I thought I'd better return these
0:17:03 > 0:17:06in case you want to go through with that Funkhauser deal.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Oh, thanks.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Cup of coffee, Bill?
0:17:08 > 0:17:09Thanks. I will.
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Personally,
0:17:10 > 0:17:12I think he's 3,000 out of line.
0:17:12 > 0:17:13Yes, I suppose so...
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Of course, you could save that amount
0:17:15 > 0:17:18by not tearing out the living room wall.
0:17:18 > 0:17:19Plus, it's sort of impractical anyway.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21I guess so.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22What wall?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Who are you talking about? Who's Funkhauser?
0:17:25 > 0:17:26Uh, Bunny Funkhauser.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Who?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29You remember Bunny Funkhauser, dear,
0:17:29 > 0:17:31that clever young interior decorator
0:17:31 > 0:17:34we met at the Collins' cocktail party.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36You mean that young man
0:17:36 > 0:17:38with the open-toed sandals?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40What about him?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Well, er...
0:17:41 > 0:17:44you know how long we've said
0:17:44 > 0:17:46we've got to do something about
0:17:46 > 0:17:48fixing up this apartment.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51< Well, a couple of weeks ago he called,
0:17:51 > 0:17:54< and I asked him to come over,
0:17:54 > 0:17:58and he had some simply wonderful ideas.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00And...
0:17:59 > 0:18:03I didn't want to bother you
0:18:03 > 0:18:04with sketches and estimates
0:18:04 > 0:18:08until I knew whether we could afford it,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11so I sent them over to Bill.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Mm-hmm. How much?
0:18:12 > 0:18:15What's the point in asking how much
0:18:15 > 0:18:18until you know what you're going to get?
0:18:18 > 0:18:19I've seen Bunny Funkhauser.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21I know what I'm going to get.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22Personally, I think
0:18:22 > 0:18:24he's got some fairly interesting sketches.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26He's terribly clever. Look.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Here's how he sees our living room. Isn't it charming?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31What's that? A shoeshine stand?
0:18:31 > 0:18:32It's a cobbler's bench, dear.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34The room's colonial -
0:18:34 > 0:18:37breakfront, hooked rug, student lamp,
0:18:37 > 0:18:38pie cooler,
0:18:38 > 0:18:41and over here is a Martha Washington desk.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44And where do I keep my powdered wig?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I think it's perfect. It's us.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Bunny says we're very American,
0:18:50 > 0:18:54very grass roots, very blueberry pie.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Don't look at me. Bunny said it.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01Now, the hall...
0:19:01 > 0:19:04How much is all this going to cost?
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Well...
0:19:06 > 0:19:08Well, the figure isn't really accurate,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10because it includes...
0:19:10 > 0:19:11How much?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Well...7,000, Jim, but...
0:19:14 > 0:19:167,000!
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Well, that includes tearing out a wall.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20And I quite agree with Bill...
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Oh, you do? You're some lawyer.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24A defenceless woman without the slightest conception
0:19:24 > 0:19:27of the value of a dollar comes to you for advice,
0:19:27 > 0:19:30and the next minute you've got her tearing out walls!
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I am on record as being opposed to tearing out walls,
0:19:32 > 0:19:34and so is the woman.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35If you'd only listen...
0:19:35 > 0:19:367,000!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39I wouldn't put seven cents into this broken-down rat trap!
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Jim, how can you talk that way? This is our home.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46Betsy was practically born in this apartment.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49That does not make it a national shrine!
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Now wait a minute. When I came in here this morning,
0:19:51 > 0:19:54I had no intention of sending you two to Reno.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56I thought I was doing you a favour.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58And he was. He was showing you how you could save 3,000
0:19:58 > 0:20:01by simply not tearing out a wall.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04I can save 7,000 by not doing anything at all.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05You can save another 3,500
0:20:05 > 0:20:08by not buying her that mink coat.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11And if you don't take that cruise to the West Indies...
0:20:11 > 0:20:12All right, Bill. All right.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Not a bad day.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15You've already saved 15,000
0:20:15 > 0:20:17and it's not even 9.00.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19See you next week.
0:20:19 > 0:20:20Bye, Jim.
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Bye, dear.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22Have a nice weekend.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Wait. I'll go down with you.
0:20:25 > 0:20:26All right.
0:20:26 > 0:20:287,000.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Blueberry pie.
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Morning, Mary.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Morning.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40What's that?
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Seems we're in the midst of a situation.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46W-H-A-M. >
0:20:46 > 0:20:48"Wham, a whale of a ham."
0:20:48 > 0:20:51What's it doing here? That's Johnson's headache.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54Not anymore. Mr Johnson is no longer with us.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Mr Johnson lost the touch.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58Guess whose headache it is now.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Oh, no. Oh, yes.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01Oh, no.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02On your desk
0:21:02 > 0:21:04you will find a directive from the high command.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05What a morning -
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Bunny Funkhauser, blueberry pie, and Wham.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10How's that? Oh, nothing, Mary.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Just a private joke between me
0:21:12 > 0:21:15and whoever's going to be my analyst.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17They sent down some of Mr Johnson's handiwork
0:21:17 > 0:21:18before he was drummed from the corps.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22July - "When you've got the whim, say wham."
0:21:22 > 0:21:27August - "For a grand slam in ham, try wham."
0:21:27 > 0:21:29I have some more over here,
0:21:29 > 0:21:31the balance of last year's campaign.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33September's the little gem
0:21:33 > 0:21:35that cost him his job.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Just a minute.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Mary, would you spend 7,000
0:21:41 > 0:21:43to tear out someone else's walls,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46when for a few thousand more,
0:21:46 > 0:21:50you could find a nice old place in Connecticut, fix it up,
0:21:50 > 0:21:54and have the kind of dream house you've always wanted?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I beg your pardon?
0:21:58 > 0:22:02'Well, that's the way it all started.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05'The ad was enough to convince Jim,
0:22:05 > 0:22:08'but Muriel was a little tougher.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10'I guess the corsage did it.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14'There they are,
0:22:14 > 0:22:16'two little fish from New York
0:22:16 > 0:22:20'out in the deep, deep waters of Connecticut real estate.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23'That's Smith, the real estate salesman.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26'Mighty shrewd cookie in a quiet sort of way.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28'Yes, sir. He knows a sucker -
0:22:28 > 0:22:32'I mean customer - when he sees one.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35'He sees one.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37'Well, Smith, looks like you're finally going to
0:22:37 > 0:22:40'unload the old Hackett place...
0:22:41 > 0:22:44'the old, very old Hackett place.'
0:22:46 > 0:22:50Well, folks, there she is.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52It's charming.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56Uh, that is, for an old house.
0:22:56 > 0:22:57Of course, you understand, Mr Smith,
0:22:57 > 0:22:59we're just window shopping, so to speak.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00Nothing definite.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Oh, perfectly all right.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Not a bad-looking house,
0:23:04 > 0:23:08but it's a lot older than anything we had in mind.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Well, she's no spring chicken.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13That's just what makes her such a buy.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16A man's got just about everything he'd need here -
0:23:16 > 0:23:18a nice big hay barn,
0:23:18 > 0:23:22a couple of fruit orchards just over the hill...
0:23:24 > 0:23:25virgin stand oak grove
0:23:25 > 0:23:28other side of the trout stream there.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31The trout stream will give you
0:23:31 > 0:23:34your own pure, clear, cold mountain water.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Paved highway right to your door.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Grocer from town delivers twice a week.
0:23:39 > 0:23:40Easy commuting distance,
0:23:40 > 0:23:4358 minutes from New York City.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Brand-new high school right down the road.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51Yes, sir, 50 mighty pretty little acres.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Fine old house, too.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Four family bedrooms, plenty of closet space.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01< However,
0:24:01 > 0:24:03it's not just all these, you know.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06You're buying a piece of American history.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08You don't say? How's that?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Why, first year she was built,
0:24:10 > 0:24:12General Gates stopped right here to water his horses.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Old General Gates, huh?
0:24:14 > 0:24:15Civil war.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Revolutionary war.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Oh, that General Gates.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23I'm not trying to sell you anything, understand.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26All I'm saying is that one of these days
0:24:26 > 0:24:29someone with a little imagination is going to come along
0:24:29 > 0:24:31and just steal this place.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32And I mean steal it.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35< Guess I don't have to tell you, Mrs Blandings,
0:24:35 > 0:24:40what a woman's touch could do to a place like this.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50Yes, sir.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53You've certainly got to visualise.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55< A couple coats of paint,
0:24:55 > 0:24:58a little pointing up here and there.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Shall we go up and take a look at her?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Well, I suppose as long as we're here...
0:25:15 > 0:25:19I guess it doesn't hurt to take a look.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23I'll just see if the keys
0:25:23 > 0:25:25are up there where I left them.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27It does have possibilities.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29You think we can get it?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Like taking candy from a baby.
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Now, don't lose your head.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Now, you just keep quiet, dear,
0:25:34 > 0:25:35and let me handle this.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37Tell me, Smith,
0:25:37 > 0:25:39what kind of price is the owner asking for this old place?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Mm-hmm.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51What do you think, Bill? A steal, huh?
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Steal's an understatement.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Swindle might be a little more appropriate.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Oh, well...
0:25:57 > 0:25:58What do you mean?
0:25:58 > 0:26:00Every time you get tight,
0:26:00 > 0:26:04you weep on my shoulder about the advertising business.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07How it forces a sensitive soul like yourself
0:26:06 > 0:26:10to make a living by bamboozling the American public.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14I would say a small part of that victimised group
0:26:14 > 0:26:16has now redressed the balance.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18What are you talking about?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20You. You've been taken to the cleaners,
0:26:20 > 0:26:23and you don't even know your pants are off.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Darling, I told you, I said we ought to call Bill.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Now, Muriel...
0:26:27 > 0:26:29All right. Just what's wrong with this deal?
0:26:29 > 0:26:32First time around, you offer 10,000 for 50 acres, right?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34What of it? That's 200 an acre.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36I know that part of Connecticut.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38100 an acre is standard top-gouge price
0:26:38 > 0:26:40to city slickers.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42When the natives sell to each other,
0:26:42 > 0:26:44it's around 40 or less.
0:26:44 > 0:26:4640!
0:26:46 > 0:26:48The man's entitled to a fair profit.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Not 284%.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Besides, you're not getting 50 acres,
0:26:52 > 0:26:54you're only getting 35, more or less.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55Where does it say that?
0:26:55 > 0:26:58I refer to a rather obscure postscript
0:26:58 > 0:27:01on the back of the second letter
0:27:01 > 0:27:03from friend Smith.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05"Incidentally, Mr Hackett has been
0:27:05 > 0:27:08"a little optimistic about the acreage.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10"It will probably survey somewhere
0:27:10 > 0:27:14in the neighbourhood of 35 acres, more or less."
0:27:14 > 0:27:17All right. So it's 35. What's the difference?
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Do you know how many tennis courts
0:27:20 > 0:27:22you can get on 35 acres?
0:27:22 > 0:27:25You're not spending 11,500 for tennis courts.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27That's not the point.
0:27:27 > 0:27:28That's precisely the point.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30We going to write this fellow Hackett a strong letter.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33Tell him he can either kick in with those 15 acres,
0:27:33 > 0:27:34reduce the price,
0:27:34 > 0:27:35or find another sucker.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37We'll do no such thing.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40I'm not going to queer this deal over 15 broken-down acres.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41You just don't understand business.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43You mean extortion.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Now, wait a minute. Put that thing down.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Look, you can't measure everything on a slide rule.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50This house has certain intangibles.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Like what, for instance?
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Like antique value, for instance.
0:27:53 > 0:27:55It just so happens that General...Gates
0:27:55 > 0:27:59stopped right there at that very house to water his horses.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02I don't care if General Grant dropped in
0:28:01 > 0:28:03for a Scotch and soda,
0:28:03 > 0:28:05you're still getting rooked.
0:28:05 > 0:28:06That was a different war!
0:28:06 > 0:28:08I think Bill's absolutely right.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Now, let me explain something to both of you.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13For 15 years I've been cooped up
0:28:13 > 0:28:15in a four-room cracker box.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Just getting shaved in the morning
0:28:17 > 0:28:19entitles a man to the purple heart.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21That still doesn't make this a good buy.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Bill, Muriel and I have found
0:28:23 > 0:28:26what I'm not ashamed to call our dream house.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28It's like a fine painting.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30You buy it with your heart, not your head.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33You don't ask how much was the paint? How much was the canvas?
0:28:33 > 0:28:36You look at it, and you say,
0:28:36 > 0:28:37"It's beautiful. I want it."
0:28:37 > 0:28:39And if it costs a few more pennies,
0:28:38 > 0:28:40you pay it and gladly, because you love it.
0:28:40 > 0:28:44And you can't measure the things you love
0:28:44 > 0:28:46in dollars and cents.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Well, anyway, that's the way I feel about it.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52When I sign those papers on Saturday,
0:28:52 > 0:28:55I can look the world in the face and say,
0:28:55 > 0:28:57"It's mine... my house, my home,
0:28:57 > 0:28:59"my 35 acres."
0:29:03 > 0:29:08Our house, our home, our 35 acres.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13More or less.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21So, Jim cashed in his government bonds,
0:29:21 > 0:29:23gave old man Hackett a 6,000 mortgage,
0:29:23 > 0:29:25and bought the place.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27Then they drove me out to see it.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30MURIEL: This certainly isn't the way we came with Mr Smith.
0:29:30 > 0:29:34What in the world are "Shrunk Mills"?
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Probably mills that have shrunk.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40Seems to me we go left.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42Over the bridge and turn right.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46Left.
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Congress ought to pass a law -
0:30:04 > 0:30:07when a man buys a house in Lansdale county,
0:30:07 > 0:30:08there's a prize.
0:30:08 > 0:30:11He gets 10 per cent off if he can find it.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Over the bridge and turn right.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15Left.
0:30:34 > 0:30:35You know,
0:30:35 > 0:30:38if you really want to find that house of yours, it's no problem.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41Just pretend that you're one of General Gates' horses,
0:30:41 > 0:30:43and you're very thirsty.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Where would you go for a drink of water?
0:31:11 > 0:31:13Well, I must admit,
0:31:13 > 0:31:15it's a very beautiful thing.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18The house and the lilac bush at the corner are just the same age.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20If a lilac can live and be so old,
0:31:20 > 0:31:22so can the house.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24It just needs someone to love it, that's all.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29It's a good thing there are two of you.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32One to love it, one to hold it up.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37What did your engineer say
0:31:36 > 0:31:39when he checked the foundation and that roof?
0:31:39 > 0:31:41Who needs engineers? This isn't a train, you know.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43I just saw it move.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45This house has been standing
0:31:45 > 0:31:47since the second year of the Continental Congress.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50You take one look at it, and shingles start to fall off.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Look, let me do you a favour. I've got a client -
0:31:52 > 0:31:54crackerjack structural engineer,
0:31:54 > 0:31:55Joe Apollonio.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58Practically built the George Washington bridge single-handed.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Thanks a lot, but we're not building a bridge.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03He's the fellow who advised the government not to raise the Normandie.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06They didn't listen to him. Cost them 5 million.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08You have my word. If I were raising the Normandie,
0:32:08 > 0:32:10I wouldn't make a move without Apollonio.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12Now, would you like to come in and look around?
0:32:12 > 0:32:14No, thanks.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21CREAKING
0:32:21 > 0:32:23CRASHING
0:32:24 > 0:32:26JIM: Muriel!
0:32:26 > 0:32:28 Muriel!
0:32:28 > 0:32:32I think you'd better get in touch with Mr Apollonio.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37The house has charm, hasn't it, Mr Apollonio?
0:32:37 > 0:32:38Mm-hmm.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Of course, any small changes would have to conform
0:32:40 > 0:32:42to the character of the countryside.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44MURIEL: And still be functional.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49Uh...what is your professional opinion?
0:32:54 > 0:32:55Tear it down.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57Tear it down?
0:32:57 > 0:32:59If your sills were shot and your timbers was OK,
0:32:59 > 0:33:01I'd say go ahead, fix her up.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05If your timbers were shot and your sills was OK,
0:33:05 > 0:33:07again, I'd say go ahead and fix her up.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09But your sills are shot,
0:33:08 > 0:33:10and your timbers are shot.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12I'll show you.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15Take a look at the way what she leans.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24It has to be level.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27So I say don't throw good money after bad.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Tear it down. Good day.
0:33:32 > 0:33:34JIM: Thanks a lot(!)
0:33:33 > 0:33:36That's OK. And I'll send my bill to your office.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Bill Cole and his experts.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42Never mind, darling.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44We'll get our own experts.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46Hmm.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50'And so they got their own experts.
0:33:50 > 0:33:51'Mr Simpson said...'
0:33:51 > 0:33:53Tear it down.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57'On the other hand, Mr Murphy said...'
0:33:57 > 0:33:58Tear it down.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04And that's how our friend Mr Simms came into it.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08He said, "It's possible to fix it up, but why not build a new house?
0:34:08 > 0:34:10"It certainly wouldn't cost any more.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13"Why not look at a floor plan?"
0:34:13 > 0:34:16Here we are. Something like this.
0:34:16 > 0:34:17First floor -
0:34:17 > 0:34:18living room, dining room,
0:34:18 > 0:34:20study, kitchen, breakfast room,
0:34:20 > 0:34:23service porch, maid's room.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25Upstairs - three family bedrooms
0:34:25 > 0:34:27with two adjoining baths.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31Well, it's very nice.
0:34:31 > 0:34:34But don't you think it's a little conventional?
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Yes, Mr Simms, of course,
0:34:36 > 0:34:39if we were going to build a house,
0:34:39 > 0:34:41we'd want it, er...
0:34:40 > 0:34:42just a little bit different.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46Of course, this is just a point of departure.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48You don't have to adhere
0:34:48 > 0:34:49to any of this.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52We're not ready to commit ourselves.
0:34:52 > 0:34:53Oh, no.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55Of course not. I understand.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58If this were my house, I'd, er...
0:34:58 > 0:35:00well, I mean...
0:35:04 > 0:35:06Now, here, for instance...
0:35:09 > 0:35:13JIM: In the study, if we could just push out this wall a little,
0:35:13 > 0:35:16and put in a built-in bar...
0:35:15 > 0:35:17MURIEL: Excuse me, dear.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19These bedrooms are too small.
0:35:19 > 0:35:21We'll have a little dressing room.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23And plenty of closets.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26If there's one thing we need, it's closets.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Yes, if I might make a suggestion...
0:35:28 > 0:35:32And bathrooms. Each bedroom must have at least one bathroom.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35But that would be four bathrooms.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36I think I...
0:35:36 > 0:35:39I was wondering, could we manage
0:35:39 > 0:35:41a little playroom in the basement?
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Nothing tremendous. Something like this.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46Well, it's always possible, but our fundamental problem...
0:35:46 > 0:35:49And I've always wanted a sewing room,
0:35:49 > 0:35:54a little utility room upstairs, where I could be alone and sew
0:35:54 > 0:35:56or sulk on a rainy afternoon.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Pardon me.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01Now, Mr Simms, about that playroom,
0:36:01 > 0:36:04room for dodge, ping-pong, nice big poker table.
0:36:04 > 0:36:05If you don't mind...
0:36:05 > 0:36:08Off the kitchen - a little flower sink...
0:36:08 > 0:36:11There should be a terrace off the study.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13Shelves for vases...
0:36:13 > 0:36:14A barbecue...
0:36:14 > 0:36:15Gardening things...
0:36:15 > 0:36:17Roasting thing...
0:36:17 > 0:36:18Oh.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Well, let's see what we have here.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30In the first place, I'm afraid...
0:36:30 > 0:36:37In the first place, I'm afraid you've got the upstairs twice as big as the downstairs.
0:36:37 > 0:36:38It's all those bathrooms.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40It's all those closets.
0:36:40 > 0:36:43By extending that room, you've no possibility
0:36:43 > 0:36:46of any stairs going up to the second floor.
0:36:46 > 0:36:50I've allowed for that. You can put them in behind the pantry.
0:36:50 > 0:36:54Mrs Blandings, on that sewing room, the way you have it there,
0:36:54 > 0:36:57the chimney stack would come through the middle,
0:36:57 > 0:37:00leaving you with a square doughnut,
0:37:00 > 0:37:02which might be very warm in winter,
0:37:02 > 0:37:04but of doubtful utility.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07Can't you put it somewhere else?
0:37:07 > 0:37:10Look, I think I know what you two have in mind.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12Suppose I make preliminary plans
0:37:12 > 0:37:15and we can get together in a week?
0:37:15 > 0:37:17- All right. - Fine.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20- Holy smoke! - We didn't realise.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23Don't forget, we must hold it down under 10,000.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26That, I can tell you right now, is impossible.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29Even with considerable trimming,
0:37:29 > 0:37:33I don't see how we can bring it in for less than 12,000 or 12,500.
0:37:33 > 0:37:3512,500?
0:37:35 > 0:37:37Oh, well, I guess we're not going to quibble
0:37:37 > 0:37:39about a few pennies.
0:37:39 > 0:37:44By the way, have you any notions how you'd like the old place taken down?
0:37:44 > 0:37:47Why don't we just blow on it?
0:37:56 > 0:38:01Well, so far, it's cost us 13,329.45.
0:38:02 > 0:38:05But we have the nicest vacant lot
0:38:05 > 0:38:07in the state of Connecticut.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13MR SIMMS: Well, something will have to be cut.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16These plans are just too elaborate for the money you have to spend.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18JIM: All right, I'll make the sacrifice.
0:38:18 > 0:38:19You can cut it out.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21(What's happening?)
0:38:21 > 0:38:24(Dad just lost his playroom.)
0:38:24 > 0:38:27 As the house stands now, it's over 15,000.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31- Mother, may we put Theodore to bed? - Yes.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32It just doesn't seem possible
0:38:32 > 0:38:35for a house with such small rooms.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37Mrs Blandings, I've already explained,
0:38:37 > 0:38:39it's not so much the size as the number.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Now, is it absolutely essential for each of your daughters to have her own room
0:38:42 > 0:38:45with two closets and a private bath?
0:38:45 > 0:38:46Yes.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49You see, my daughters are approaching womanhood...
0:38:49 > 0:38:50I didn't realise
0:38:50 > 0:38:53they were approaching it quite so fast.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55Perhaps what you need is not so much a house,
0:38:55 > 0:38:57as a series of little bungalows,
0:38:56 > 0:39:00each with two closets and a private bath.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03Well, what about that silly flower sink?
0:39:03 > 0:39:06- We could lose that.
0:39:04 > 0:39:06- I beg your pardon.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09< Or that sewing room - that's certainly a waste.
0:39:09 > 0:39:10May I suggest that
0:39:10 > 0:39:12neither of these are really major eliminations?
0:39:12 > 0:39:15Now, if you could do with one less bathroom -
0:39:15 > 0:39:16I'm sorry, we couldn't possibly.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18A simple bathroom, 8 x 10 x 8,
0:39:18 > 0:39:21with Grade - A fixtures, will cost around 1,300.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23I refuse to endanger the health of my children
0:39:23 > 0:39:25with less than four bathrooms.
0:39:25 > 0:39:29For 1,300, they can live in a house with three bathrooms
0:39:29 > 0:39:31and rough it.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36KNOCKING
0:39:37 > 0:39:39Why, Bill. Hello, Muriel.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Well, you've done it again.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Once...just once...
0:39:43 > 0:39:46why don't you come to me and find out if it's all right, if it's legal,
0:39:46 > 0:39:48before you go barging off and run yourself smack into another jam?
0:39:48 > 0:39:50What's eating you?
0:39:50 > 0:39:51I must say, Simms, I hold you equally responsible.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53JIM: What? What happened?
0:39:53 > 0:39:55MR SIMMS: I don't understand.
0:39:55 > 0:39:56Did you let this idiot
0:39:56 > 0:39:57tear down that house?
0:39:57 > 0:39:59What if he did? What of it?
0:39:59 > 0:40:00Reconstruction was unsound and totally impractical.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02I quite agree, but you're dealing with a man
0:40:02 > 0:40:03who doesn't think before he acts,
0:40:03 > 0:40:05who goes off half-cocked.
0:40:05 > 0:40:06What did I do?
0:40:06 > 0:40:07You're an architect.
0:40:07 > 0:40:09You must have been aware of the legality involved.
0:40:09 > 0:40:10What? What legality?
0:40:10 > 0:40:12You knew there was a mortgage.
0:40:12 > 0:40:13I assumed as much.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15What happened? What are you talking about?
0:40:15 > 0:40:17What did you do?
0:40:17 > 0:40:18I don't know. They won't tell me.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21MR SIMMS: Certainly, but since you were his lawyer, I naturally assumed...
0:40:21 > 0:40:23With him, you don't assume anything.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26Now, just a minute. I'm entitled to know what I did.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28This is America. A man is guilty until he's proven innocent.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30It's the other way around, Father.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32You go to bed. Girls.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34Bill, would you mind telling me
0:40:34 > 0:40:36in clear, concise English
0:40:36 > 0:40:39just what crime I've committed and why.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42In clear, concise English, you tore down a house
0:40:41 > 0:40:44on which another man holds a mortgage
0:40:44 > 0:40:46without first getting his written permission.
0:40:46 > 0:40:47I did?
0:40:47 > 0:40:49And in such case,
0:40:49 > 0:40:52the mortgagee can demand full payment of said mortgage.
0:40:52 > 0:40:54Mr Ephemus Hackett so demands.
0:40:54 > 0:40:556,000 clams.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57And he wants them now.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Now? You've got ten days.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03Miss Stellwagon says the problems of the parents
0:41:03 > 0:41:06should be the problems of the children.
0:41:06 > 0:41:07Well, you keep that in mind, dear.
0:41:07 > 0:41:09It will help prepare you for motherhood.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11Perhaps we'd better let the plans go for the time being.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13No, Simms, I'll work this out.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15You go ahead with your final plans, and let's see some estimates.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17Very well. You'll hear from me as soon as possible.
0:41:17 > 0:41:18Good night. Good night, Mr Cole.
0:41:18 > 0:41:19Good night.
0:41:19 > 0:41:206,000.
0:41:20 > 0:41:22MURIEL: Good night, Mr Simms.
0:41:22 > 0:41:23MR SIMMS: Good night, Mrs Blandings.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25What are you going to do
0:41:25 > 0:41:26about the collateral on your building loan?
0:41:26 > 0:41:28I don't know.
0:41:28 > 0:41:29Turn in my insurance policies or something.
0:41:29 > 0:41:32- Jim, you can't do that. - Why not?
0:41:32 > 0:41:33If anything should happen,
0:41:33 > 0:41:36the children would be left unprotected.
0:41:36 > 0:41:37I'm not dead yet.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39Well, of course you're not.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41I'll see the boys at the bank.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Maybe you can put up your insurance as collateral.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45If necessary...
0:41:45 > 0:41:47I'll sign a personal note.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50Thanks, Bill.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52Well, I got to run along.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55Jim, do me a little favour, will you?
0:41:55 > 0:41:57The next time you're gonna do anything
0:41:57 > 0:41:59or say anything, or buy anything,
0:41:59 > 0:42:01think it over very carefully.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03When you're sure you're right,
0:42:02 > 0:42:04forget the whole thing.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09Good night, Muriel.
0:42:09 > 0:42:10Good night, Bill.
0:42:13 > 0:42:15Hmm...
0:42:17 > 0:42:19What a wonderful friend.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21What's with all this kissing
0:42:21 > 0:42:22all of a sudden?
0:42:22 > 0:42:23What's that?
0:42:23 > 0:42:27Just because a man is helpful in a business way,
0:42:26 > 0:42:28it doesn't give him
0:42:28 > 0:42:30extracurricular privileges with my wife.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32That's a fine thing to say
0:42:32 > 0:42:35about a friend of 15 years.
0:42:35 > 0:42:36Well, I just don't like it.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38Every time he goes out of this house,
0:42:37 > 0:42:40he shakes my hand and he kisses you.
0:42:40 > 0:42:43Would you prefer it the other way around?
0:42:43 > 0:42:46Why is he always hanging around?
0:42:46 > 0:42:48Why doesn't he ever get married or something?
0:42:48 > 0:42:52Because he can't find another girl as pretty, sweet and wholesome as I am.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00Darling, let's not be silly about this.
0:43:00 > 0:43:01It isn't Bill,
0:43:01 > 0:43:03it's the house that's upsetting you.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06I suppose so.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Do you think it's worth all this?
0:43:09 > 0:43:11Of course it is.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13It isn't a house we're building,
0:43:13 > 0:43:14it's a home...
0:43:14 > 0:43:16for ourselves and our children...
0:43:16 > 0:43:19and maybe our children's children.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23Each with two closets and a private bath.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32Well, here are the estimates.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34But before you look at them, I think I better explain.
0:43:34 > 0:43:35Don't bother, Mr Simms.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37We're getting to be old hands at this sort of thing.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39Ah...
0:43:45 > 0:43:48Of course, these bids are obviously way out of line.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50That is, all except John Retch & son at 21,000.
0:43:50 > 0:43:5221,000!
0:43:52 > 0:43:53And with some judicious cutting,
0:43:53 > 0:43:56I think we could pare that down to 18.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59But we've only asked for the barest necessities.
0:43:59 > 0:44:01Frankly, with all the extras that you two...
0:44:01 > 0:44:02Never mind, Mr Simms.
0:44:02 > 0:44:04If you'll send us a bill for your services,
0:44:04 > 0:44:06I'll see it's taken care of.
0:44:06 > 0:44:07Goodbye, Mr Simms.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09Oh, but one moment, Mr Blandings, in the first place...
0:44:09 > 0:44:12In the first place, I am going out to get my head examined.
0:44:12 > 0:44:14Then, if I don't jump off the Brooklyn bridge,
0:44:14 > 0:44:18I'm going to find the owner of our apartment building
0:44:18 > 0:44:20and sign a 20-year lease. Goodbye.
0:44:20 > 0:44:22Goodbye, sir. Goodbye, Mr Simms.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24Goodbye, Mrs Blandings.
0:44:52 > 0:44:56Do you think you could keep it down to 18,000?
0:45:30 > 0:45:31Well, things are certainly humming.
0:45:31 > 0:45:33What? I said "humming".
0:45:33 > 0:45:34Oh.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36Oh, there's my contractor, Mr Retch.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39I'll introduce you.
0:45:39 > 0:45:40We ordered that stuff over a month ago.
0:45:40 > 0:45:41Get down to the freight office.
0:45:41 > 0:45:42JOE: Hello, Mr Retch.
0:45:42 > 0:45:43Hi.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46Got a lot on his mind.
0:45:48 > 0:45:51Hey, get out of the way. You want to get killed?
0:46:01 > 0:46:03What's going on over there?
0:46:03 > 0:46:05That's Mr Tesander. He's digging our well.
0:46:12 > 0:46:15How long does that go on?
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Three weeks now, at 4.50 a foot.
0:46:17 > 0:46:21I think I'd better have a little talk with Mr Tesander.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25Mr Tesander?
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Mr Tesander!
0:46:31 > 0:46:32Yep?
0:46:32 > 0:46:34How's it coming?
0:46:34 > 0:46:35It's coming.
0:46:39 > 0:46:40Mr Tesander?
0:46:47 > 0:46:48Yep?
0:46:48 > 0:46:49What I meant was,
0:46:49 > 0:46:51how far down are you?
0:46:51 > 0:46:54Oh, about 130 feet.
0:46:54 > 0:46:55Isn't that pretty deep?
0:46:55 > 0:46:57Yep.
0:46:57 > 0:47:01I mean, do you think perhaps you ought to try another spot?
0:47:01 > 0:47:03Up to you.
0:47:03 > 0:47:07Well... haven't you hit anything yet at all?
0:47:07 > 0:47:10Hit some limestone yesterday.
0:47:10 > 0:47:11That's good? >
0:47:11 > 0:47:13That's bad.
0:47:13 > 0:47:14Oh.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17Right now, looks like we're coming into some shale.
0:47:17 > 0:47:18That's bad?
0:47:18 > 0:47:20< That's good.
0:47:20 > 0:47:21Oh.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23Of course, it might turn out to be sandstone.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25JIM: That's bad.
0:47:26 > 0:47:27Can't tell.
0:47:27 > 0:47:30Might be good, might be bad.
0:47:30 > 0:47:31One thing you know,
0:47:31 > 0:47:34you got plenty shale, sandstone, and limestone.
0:47:34 > 0:47:36I see.
0:47:36 > 0:47:37MURIEL: Mr Tesander.
0:47:37 > 0:47:39How do you do?
0:47:38 > 0:47:40How do you do?
0:47:40 > 0:47:41Just for the record, of course,
0:47:41 > 0:47:43what happened to water?
0:47:43 > 0:47:45Oh, it's there, all right.
0:47:45 > 0:47:47Just got to be patient.
0:47:52 > 0:47:53YELLING IN ITALIAN
0:47:55 > 0:47:57What's wrong with the steam shovel?
0:47:57 > 0:47:59I better go and take a look.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02Jim! Come here.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Thank you.
0:48:08 > 0:48:09YELLING IN ITALIAN
0:48:10 > 0:48:13What's the matter, Mr Zucca, something wrong?
0:48:13 > 0:48:14How do you like that?
0:48:14 > 0:48:15I broke my bucket.
0:48:15 > 0:48:18Two times this week I broke my bucket.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20What did you do? Hit a boulder?
0:48:20 > 0:48:23That's no boulder. That's a ledge.
0:48:23 > 0:48:24What does that mean?
0:48:24 > 0:48:26Means we got to blast.
0:48:26 > 0:48:27- Blast? - Blast...
0:48:27 > 0:48:29with dynamite.
0:48:29 > 0:48:30What do you mean, dynamite?
0:48:30 > 0:48:32What do you mean, "what do you mean?"
0:48:32 > 0:48:33Mr Zucca explained he has to use dynamite
0:48:33 > 0:48:36to blast to get rid of the rock.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39That's no rock. That's a ledge.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42What Mr Blandings means is, what precisely is a ledge?
0:48:42 > 0:48:46A ledge is like a big stone, only it's bigger.
0:48:46 > 0:48:47Like a boulder.
0:48:47 > 0:48:49No, like a ledge.
0:48:49 > 0:48:50Like a ledge.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52MR ZUCCA: But you don't have to worry.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55It only costs 6.00 a cubic yard,
0:48:55 > 0:48:57plus the dynamite and the fuse.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00How far will you have to blast?
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Hard to tell.
0:49:02 > 0:49:04Might be a little baby ledge,
0:49:03 > 0:49:05might run over top of the mountain.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08At 6.00 a yard, do you realise what that means?
0:49:08 > 0:49:12It means we got to blast.
0:49:16 > 0:49:17With a few minor deviations,
0:49:17 > 0:49:20I know exactly where every penny is going.
0:49:20 > 0:49:22- Is that all? - Yes, thanks.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Hi.
0:49:25 > 0:49:26Hello, Bill. Come in.
0:49:26 > 0:49:30I've been going over the Knapp contracts with old man Dascomb.
0:49:30 > 0:49:34While I was in there with Dascomb, the conversation kind of got around to you.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36Oh? What is it?
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Well, he didn't say in so many words
0:49:38 > 0:49:41that ever since you started fooling around with that house,
0:49:41 > 0:49:44you haven't come up with one acceptable slogan.
0:49:44 > 0:49:45But...
0:49:45 > 0:49:46But... where is it?
0:49:46 > 0:49:47It's there.
0:49:48 > 0:49:50But since the Wham account
0:49:50 > 0:49:52is the backbone of this agency,
0:49:52 > 0:49:55I kind of felt that he kind of felt
0:49:55 > 0:49:59that if I kind of told you, that you'd know
0:49:59 > 0:50:01TOGETHER: That he knew that you knew...
0:50:01 > 0:50:03What's he worrying about? The deadline is six months off.
0:50:03 > 0:50:07BUZZER Yeah?
0:50:07 > 0:50:09Mrs Blandings calling from Lansdale.
0:50:09 > 0:50:11OK.
0:50:11 > 0:50:12Yes, Muriel?
0:50:12 > 0:50:14What?
0:50:14 > 0:50:15Tesander struck water?
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Say, that's wonderful.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Bill, we've got our well!
0:50:19 > 0:50:21Congratulations.
0:50:21 > 0:50:23Ha ha! What?
0:50:23 > 0:50:24What's that?
0:50:24 > 0:50:26What do you mean we've got two wells?
0:50:28 > 0:50:30Oh. Oh.
0:50:30 > 0:50:31I'll be right out.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33Come on, Bill.
0:50:56 > 0:50:57So, you hit a spring,
0:50:57 > 0:50:59a bubbling spring, right here in our cellar?
0:50:59 > 0:51:01It will have to be diverted
0:51:01 > 0:51:03before Retch here can pour his cement.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06May take a while. Pumps are over in Jersey.
0:51:11 > 0:51:13Water, Mr Tesander.
0:51:12 > 0:51:14Yep.
0:51:14 > 0:51:15At six feet.
0:51:15 > 0:51:17Yep.
0:51:17 > 0:51:21And just over there, you had to go down 227 feet
0:51:21 > 0:51:23to hit the same water.
0:51:24 > 0:51:25Yep.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28How do you account for that, Mr Tesander?
0:51:28 > 0:51:32Well, the way it appears to me, Mr Blandings,
0:51:32 > 0:51:36over here the water is down around six feet.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38And over there...
0:51:38 > 0:51:42TOGETHER: It's down around 227 feet.
0:51:42 > 0:51:44Yep.
0:52:38 > 0:52:39What's this, another closet?
0:52:39 > 0:52:41This happens to be our living room.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43This isn't the living room, darling.
0:52:43 > 0:52:44The living room's across the hall.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Then, where's the dining room?
0:52:46 > 0:52:48Well, I think it's...
0:52:48 > 0:52:51Maybe it's this little room here.
0:52:51 > 0:52:52That's the breakfast room.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54That isn't the breakfast room.
0:52:54 > 0:52:55That's the powder room.
0:52:55 > 0:52:56Oh.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Just where is the dining room?
0:52:58 > 0:52:59It was right here a minute ago.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01We couldn't just have lost it.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04Better put an ad in the paper.
0:53:04 > 0:53:06WORKMAN: I don't get this guy Blandings at all.
0:53:06 > 0:53:09You got to build on the windiest hill in Connecticut,
0:53:09 > 0:53:13why does he have to pick the windiest side of the hill?
0:53:13 > 0:53:15SECOND WORKMAN: You know those New York millionaires -
0:53:15 > 0:53:16easy come, easy go.
0:53:17 > 0:53:21Now, here is the living room, right?
0:53:21 > 0:53:23Yes. There's the fireplace.
0:53:23 > 0:53:25Come right in.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27After you, Rockefeller.
0:53:27 > 0:53:28WORKMAN: Hey, mister.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31- You're the owner here, aren't you? - Yeah.
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Just the man I want to see.
0:53:33 > 0:53:34I'll browse around upstairs.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40On them second floor lintels
0:53:40 > 0:53:43between the lally columns- do you want we should rabbet them or not?
0:53:47 > 0:53:50The, er... second floor lallies?
0:53:50 > 0:53:52Second floor lintels between the lallies.
0:53:54 > 0:53:57Oh, the lintels between the lallies.
0:53:57 > 0:53:59Yeah, from the blueprints, you can't tell.
0:53:59 > 0:54:01Do you want they should be rabbeted?
0:54:03 > 0:54:05No, I guess not.
0:54:05 > 0:54:06OK, you're the doctor.
0:54:06 > 0:54:08Hey, fellas!
0:54:08 > 0:54:11If you got any of them rabbeted lintels set,
0:54:11 > 0:54:13rip them out!
0:54:15 > 0:54:16WOOD FALLING
0:54:20 > 0:54:23It sounded less expensive to say no.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27Stop it! Stop it!
0:54:27 > 0:54:29WHISTLE BLOWS
0:54:29 > 0:54:31OK, fellas. Let's quit!
0:54:34 > 0:54:36Now look what you've done.
0:54:38 > 0:54:40Look, men!
0:54:40 > 0:54:42Mrs Blandings didn't mean anything.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45There's no point in walking off a job
0:54:45 > 0:54:48just because a woman makes a silly little remark.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50Look, mister, it's Saturday. We quit at 12.00.
0:54:50 > 0:54:53MAN: Unless you want us to go on overtime.
0:54:53 > 0:54:55No, very kind of you, I'm sure, but...
0:54:55 > 0:54:56Well, see you Monday, fellas.
0:55:02 > 0:55:03I'm sick.
0:55:03 > 0:55:05From the outside,
0:55:05 > 0:55:08this place looks like a grain elevator.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11On the inside, everything's miles too small.
0:55:11 > 0:55:12BANGING
0:55:12 > 0:55:14What's that? What's what?
0:55:14 > 0:55:15That noise. It's upstairs.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17BANGING
0:55:28 > 0:55:29BANGING
0:55:39 > 0:55:40What happened?
0:55:40 > 0:55:41The door blew shut.
0:55:41 > 0:55:42I got locked in.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45Impossible. I had this closet built especially for myself.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47The lock opens from the inside.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49Maybe for Houdini. Not for me.
0:55:49 > 0:55:53Nothing to it. A child could do it. Look, I'll show you.
0:55:54 > 0:55:57See? It just takes some good old yankee know-how.
0:55:57 > 0:56:01It's possible, darling, the lock works for you and not for Bill.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04Ridiculous. Even you could do it. Thank you.
0:56:04 > 0:56:05Come on. I'll show you. Get in.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10Now go ahead, dear. Just open the door.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18I don't seem to be able to...
0:56:18 > 0:56:20It's perfectly simple.
0:56:20 > 0:56:24You just take the knob and turn it clockwise.
0:56:42 > 0:56:45Nothing like that good old Yankee know-how.
0:56:47 > 0:56:48Hey!
0:56:48 > 0:56:51Somebody let us out of here!
0:56:51 > 0:56:53ENGINE STARTS
0:56:54 > 0:56:56Uh-oh.
0:57:02 > 0:57:03Oh, dear.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09Ahem.
0:57:11 > 0:57:13Huh.
0:57:13 > 0:57:15If I could just get over to that scaffolding.
0:57:22 > 0:57:23It seems a shame.
0:57:23 > 0:57:26I guess it's the only way to do it.
0:57:26 > 0:57:28What are you going to do?
0:57:28 > 0:57:29Don't get panicky, dear.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31I'll get you out of here. Don't worry.
0:57:31 > 0:57:32Stand up, Bill.
0:57:32 > 0:57:33Huh?
0:57:33 > 0:57:35Hold that over the window.
0:57:37 > 0:57:38Stand back, Muriel.
0:57:40 > 0:57:41Ready?
0:57:41 > 0:57:43Roger.
0:57:43 > 0:57:46GLASS BREAKING
0:57:54 > 0:57:57In case of emergency, break glass.
0:57:57 > 0:57:58Come on, Bill.
0:58:03 > 0:58:05That's funny.
0:58:05 > 0:58:08There's no reason why that shouldn't work.
0:58:11 > 0:58:12BANGING
0:58:24 > 0:58:26Oh... Wham again! Yes, sir.
0:58:26 > 0:58:27Muriel, I thought we'd agreed...
0:58:27 > 0:58:30Gussie, from now on, no more Wham for Mr Blandings.
0:58:30 > 0:58:32What about the rest of us?
0:58:32 > 0:58:35I'm sure there are other substitutes...
0:58:35 > 0:58:36bacon, sausages.
0:58:36 > 0:58:38The children like Wham.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40There must be other things...
0:58:40 > 0:58:42Mrs Blandings likes it, too,
0:58:42 > 0:58:44and I consider it very tasty.
0:58:44 > 0:58:46I spend eight hours every day
0:58:46 > 0:58:49trying to cram this stuff down the throats
0:58:49 > 0:58:51of 100 million people.
0:58:51 > 0:58:54I know all about its succulent goodness,
0:58:54 > 0:58:56its sugar-smoked tenderness, its...
0:58:56 > 0:58:58You don't have to sell to me! I like it.
0:59:01 > 0:59:02Oh, thank you.
0:59:02 > 0:59:05Just bills.
0:59:05 > 0:59:08Darling, I'm going out to the place this afternoon.
0:59:08 > 0:59:11Bill's driving me up to see about the landscaping.
0:59:11 > 0:59:12That will be nice.
0:59:12 > 0:59:15What do you mean, Bill's driving you?
0:59:15 > 0:59:18Why do you always say "what do you mean?"
0:59:18 > 0:59:20when you know perfectly well what I mean and what you mean?
0:59:20 > 0:59:22I mean the moment I turn my back,
0:59:22 > 0:59:24Bill Cole's driving you someplace or something.
0:59:24 > 0:59:26He's only being helpful.
0:59:26 > 0:59:29I thought he was a lawyer. Why isn't he out suing somebody?
0:59:29 > 0:59:31Bicker, bicker, bicker.
0:59:31 > 0:59:33HE SIGHS
0:59:33 > 0:59:34Hmm!
0:59:34 > 0:59:37Well, we'll just see about that!
0:59:37 > 0:59:39What is it?
0:59:40 > 0:59:43What's the matter, Jim?
0:59:43 > 0:59:46Mr William Cole, please.
0:59:46 > 0:59:47Hello, Bill.
0:59:47 > 0:59:50They can't get away with this!
0:59:50 > 0:59:52I know my rights as a citizen!
0:59:52 > 0:59:55Why, this notice from the owner of this building!
0:59:55 > 0:59:56He wants our apartment!
0:59:56 > 0:59:58He's ordering us to move in 30 days!
0:59:58 > 0:59:59Well, that's ridiculous.
0:59:59 > 1:00:03How can I move into a house that isn't finished?
1:00:03 > 1:00:06There are no windows, no plaster, no paint!
1:00:06 > 1:00:09Now you listen to me. I have no intention of moving in 30 days!
1:00:09 > 1:00:11This is not legal! I'm going to fight this thing,
1:00:11 > 1:00:14and I don't care if it takes every penny I've got!
1:00:14 > 1:00:17Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
1:00:17 > 1:00:18All right!
1:00:18 > 1:00:20Well?
1:00:19 > 1:00:21We're moving in 30 days.
1:00:25 > 1:00:29'So came 30 days, and they moved.
1:00:31 > 1:00:33'That is, we moved.
1:00:35 > 1:00:38'Well, there she is, bright and shiny...
1:00:38 > 1:00:41'and just about complete -
1:00:41 > 1:00:46'the residence of Mr and Mrs James Blandings.
1:00:46 > 1:00:49'All right. Everybody out!
1:00:49 > 1:00:52'Guess you can't blame them
1:00:52 > 1:00:55'for feeling just a little bit proud.'
1:00:55 > 1:00:57CHIRPING
1:00:57 > 1:00:59'Even Theodore's proud.'
1:00:59 > 1:01:02'All right, come on, men. Let's have a little action here.
1:01:02 > 1:01:04'OK, Mac.'
1:01:08 > 1:01:10'The big moment.
1:01:10 > 1:01:11'Aw, look.
1:01:11 > 1:01:14'He wants to carry her across the threshold.
1:01:14 > 1:01:16'Isn't that romantic?'
1:01:20 > 1:01:22Ughhh!
1:01:22 > 1:01:24'Watch that sacroiliac!
1:01:24 > 1:01:27'15 years since you've done this sort of thing.
1:01:27 > 1:01:28'Nice work, Tarzan.
1:01:28 > 1:01:32'Now let's see if you can make it into the living room.
1:01:32 > 1:01:34'That's right. Go right in.
1:01:34 > 1:01:37'Don't pay any attention to the sign.
1:01:37 > 1:01:39'Look where you're going!
1:01:38 > 1:01:41'Can't you see I'm varnishing this floor?'
1:01:41 > 1:01:43'Stop painting that floor
1:01:43 > 1:01:46'and put some planks down in here or something!
1:01:46 > 1:01:48'OK, Mac, OK, but take it easy.
1:01:48 > 1:01:51'The Republicans ain't in yet, you know!'
1:01:57 > 1:01:58'There!
1:01:58 > 1:02:01'I'll just see Simms about this!
1:02:01 > 1:02:03'Oh, Father!
1:02:03 > 1:02:06'Wait till you see what we've found!
1:02:08 > 1:02:09'Now what?
1:02:09 > 1:02:13'Oh, fine. No windows!
1:02:13 > 1:02:16'Well, we'll just see Simms about that, too!'
1:02:17 > 1:02:19Where's Simms?
1:02:19 > 1:02:20Around back, trying to figure out
1:02:20 > 1:02:22what to do about them windows.
1:02:22 > 1:02:23What's the problem? You put windows up.
1:02:23 > 1:02:24Not these. They don't fit.
1:02:24 > 1:02:26Oh, they don't, don't they?
1:02:26 > 1:02:30Mr Blandings, you'd better take a look at these bills.
1:02:30 > 1:02:32What's this about the windows?
1:02:32 > 1:02:34I'm afraid there's been a little slip-up.
1:02:34 > 1:02:35These windows seem to belong
1:02:35 > 1:02:37to a Mr Landing in Fishkill.
1:02:37 > 1:02:38I spoke to him on the phone this morning.
1:02:38 > 1:02:39Well, has he got mine?
1:02:39 > 1:02:42No. He seems to have some windows
1:02:42 > 1:02:44that belong to a Mr Blandsworth in Peekskill.
1:02:44 > 1:02:46Where are MY windows?
1:02:46 > 1:02:48As near as we can find out,
1:02:48 > 1:02:51they've either been sent to a Mr Banning in Danbury,
1:02:51 > 1:02:53or a Mr Bamberger in Waterbury.
1:02:53 > 1:02:56What are we supposed to do, spend the rest of our lives
1:02:56 > 1:02:58in a house without windows?
1:02:58 > 1:03:00It will only be a matter of a few days.
1:03:00 > 1:03:02What's a zuz-zuz water softener?
1:03:02 > 1:03:04How should I know?
1:03:04 > 1:03:05You've got one.
1:03:05 > 1:03:07Hmm?
1:03:07 > 1:03:10"Furnishing and installing one zuz-zuz water softener,
1:03:10 > 1:03:11"285..."
1:03:11 > 1:03:13I didn't order that!
1:03:13 > 1:03:15I'm afraid I authorised that, Mr Blandings,
1:03:15 > 1:03:18to save your boiler and water pipes.
1:03:18 > 1:03:19From what?
1:03:19 > 1:03:21Rust. The plumber assures me that the water in your well
1:03:21 > 1:03:22is the most corrosive
1:03:22 > 1:03:24in his entire experience in the trade.
1:03:24 > 1:03:25Another first.
1:03:25 > 1:03:28Well, if it's necessary, put it in. We're moving in today.
1:03:28 > 1:03:29It's in!
1:03:29 > 1:03:31Oh. Then get me the bill for it!
1:03:31 > 1:03:32You've got it.
1:03:32 > 1:03:34Well, all right, then!
1:03:44 > 1:03:46That's right. Upstairs in the bedroom.
1:03:46 > 1:03:47Mother! >
1:03:47 > 1:03:49The moving vans just left!
1:03:49 > 1:03:51Never mind. You two go and help Gussie in the kitchen.
1:03:51 > 1:03:54Now, Mr Pedelford, we'll talk about the painting.
1:03:54 > 1:03:55OK.
1:03:55 > 1:03:57I had some samples.
1:03:57 > 1:03:58Oh, here we are.
1:03:58 > 1:04:00Now, first the living room.
1:04:00 > 1:04:03I want it to be a soft green.
1:04:03 > 1:04:05Uh-huh.
1:04:05 > 1:04:07Not as blue-green as a robin's egg.
1:04:07 > 1:04:09No.
1:04:09 > 1:04:11But not as yellow-green as daffodil buds.
1:04:11 > 1:04:13Uh-huh.
1:04:13 > 1:04:14The only sample I could get
1:04:14 > 1:04:16is a little too yellow,
1:04:16 > 1:04:18but don't let whoever does it go to the other extreme
1:04:18 > 1:04:20and get it too blue.
1:04:20 > 1:04:21No.
1:04:21 > 1:04:23It should be a sort of greyish yellow-green.
1:04:23 > 1:04:24Uh-huh.
1:04:24 > 1:04:26Now, the dining room.
1:04:26 > 1:04:29I'd like yellow. Not just yellow.
1:04:29 > 1:04:31A very gay yellow.
1:04:31 > 1:04:33Something bright and sunshiny.
1:04:32 > 1:04:34Uh-huh.
1:04:34 > 1:04:39I tell you, Mr Pedelford, if you'll send one of your workmen to the grocer
1:04:38 > 1:04:42for a pound of their best butter and match that exactly,
1:04:42 > 1:04:43you can't go wrong!
1:04:43 > 1:04:46This is the paper we're going to use in the hall.
1:04:46 > 1:04:48It's flowered, but I don't want the ceiling
1:04:48 > 1:04:50to match any of the colours of the flowers.
1:04:50 > 1:04:51No.
1:04:51 > 1:04:54There are some little dots in the background,
1:04:54 > 1:04:56and it's these dots I want you to match.
1:04:56 > 1:04:58Not the little greenish dot near the hollyhock leaf.
1:04:58 > 1:05:00No.
1:05:00 > 1:05:01But the little bluish dot
1:05:01 > 1:05:03between the rosebud and the delphinium blossom.
1:05:03 > 1:05:04Is that clear?
1:05:04 > 1:05:06Uh-huh.
1:05:06 > 1:05:08Now, the kitchen's to be white.
1:05:08 > 1:05:11Not a cold, antiseptic, hospital white.
1:05:11 > 1:05:12No.
1:05:12 > 1:05:14A little warmer, but still,
1:05:14 > 1:05:17not to suggest any other colour but white.
1:05:17 > 1:05:18Uh-huh.
1:05:18 > 1:05:21Now, for the powder room in here,
1:05:21 > 1:05:23I want you to match this thread.
1:05:23 > 1:05:25And don't lose it. It's the only spool I have,
1:05:25 > 1:05:27and I had an awful time finding it.
1:05:27 > 1:05:30As you can see, it's practically an apple red,
1:05:30 > 1:05:32somewhere between a healthy Winesap
1:05:32 > 1:05:33and an unripened Jonathan.
1:05:33 > 1:05:35Uh-huh.
1:05:35 > 1:05:36CRASH
1:05:36 > 1:05:38Oh, excuse me.
1:05:40 > 1:05:42You got that, Charlie?
1:05:42 > 1:05:44Red, green, blue, yellow, white.
1:05:44 > 1:05:45Check.
1:05:45 > 1:05:46HE SPITS
1:05:51 > 1:05:53Oh, Joan.
1:05:53 > 1:05:55I'm awful sorry.
1:05:55 > 1:05:58You knew Father was supposed to carry the heavy things.
1:05:58 > 1:06:00Father disappeared.
1:06:00 > 1:06:02I haven't seen him for an hour.
1:06:02 > 1:06:05Where's Uncle Bill? He's going to miss his train!
1:06:05 > 1:06:07If they've run off somewhere,
1:06:07 > 1:06:08it certainly isn't very...
1:06:08 > 1:06:10BANGING
1:06:10 > 1:06:11Heavens!
1:06:18 > 1:06:21I thought you were going to take care of it.
1:06:21 > 1:06:22I thought you were.
1:06:22 > 1:06:26You're going to miss your train, Uncle Bill. It leaves Lansdale in 25 minutes.
1:06:26 > 1:06:29I kind of hate to leave this little place.
1:06:29 > 1:06:32Just four walls and a couple of nail kegs,
1:06:32 > 1:06:35but to me, it will always be home.
1:06:36 > 1:06:38Isn't there a later one?
1:06:38 > 1:06:39Not till the commuter special
1:06:39 > 1:06:41tomorrow morning at 6.15.
1:06:41 > 1:06:42You mean 7.15.
1:06:42 > 1:06:43No, Dad. 6.15.
1:06:43 > 1:06:44What about the 7.15
1:06:44 > 1:06:47I'm supposed to take to the office every morning?
1:06:47 > 1:06:51There's a little asterisk. The 7.15 runs only Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays.
1:06:51 > 1:06:54What? Bill, let me see that!
1:06:56 > 1:06:58Muriel!
1:06:58 > 1:06:59Oh, dear. Don't tell me I read it wrong.
1:06:59 > 1:07:01That's fine.
1:07:01 > 1:07:04For the rest of my life, I'll have to get up at 5.00am to catch the 6.15
1:07:04 > 1:07:05to get to my office at 8.00.
1:07:05 > 1:07:08It doesn't even open until 9.00, and I never get there until 10.00.
1:07:08 > 1:07:09Maybe if you start earlier,
1:07:09 > 1:07:11you can leave the office earlier.
1:07:11 > 1:07:13To get home earlier to get to bed earlier
1:07:13 > 1:07:14to get up earlier I suppose, hmm?
1:07:14 > 1:07:16Maybe you can get the railroad to push the train up to 4.15,
1:07:16 > 1:07:18Then you won't have to go to bed at all.
1:07:18 > 1:07:19You're going to miss your train, Uncle Bill.
1:07:19 > 1:07:21I'll drive you to the station.
1:07:21 > 1:07:22I can drive him!
1:07:22 > 1:07:24No, dear. You better save your strength.
1:07:24 > 1:07:26You have to get up at 5.00.
1:07:33 > 1:07:38It would be nice if you could spend your vacation up here.
1:07:38 > 1:07:41Mm-hmm. We'll see how things work out at the office.
1:07:41 > 1:07:45I'll scout around and see if I can find you a cottage in Lansdale.
1:07:45 > 1:07:47If you can't find me a cottage,
1:07:46 > 1:07:49I can always move back into that closet.
1:07:49 > 1:07:50Oh!
1:07:50 > 1:07:53TRAIN BELLS RING
1:07:57 > 1:07:59HE COUGHS
1:07:59 > 1:08:00Oh!
1:08:00 > 1:08:02Father!
1:08:02 > 1:08:04Now look what you've done.
1:08:10 > 1:08:13Father, the first principle of lighting a fire
1:08:13 > 1:08:16is to see if the flue is open.
1:08:16 > 1:08:18A three-year-old child knows that!
1:08:18 > 1:08:22Next time we want a fire, I'll send out for a three-year-old child.
1:08:22 > 1:08:23Now, get that stuff cleaned up,
1:08:23 > 1:08:25then go on in and help Gussie set the table. It's getting late.
1:08:27 > 1:08:29Look, Dad. Your fraternity pins!
1:08:29 > 1:08:31Pins? I only had one.
1:08:31 > 1:08:33There are two of them here.
1:08:33 > 1:08:35All right, all right. Just put them away.
1:08:35 > 1:08:38Funny. This one says WC on the back of it.
1:08:38 > 1:08:40WC William Cole!
1:08:40 > 1:08:42It must be Uncle Bill's.
1:08:42 > 1:08:44Hmm?
1:08:44 > 1:08:45Let me see that.
1:08:51 > 1:08:53SHE WHISTLES
1:08:53 > 1:08:54What's that?
1:08:54 > 1:08:57It's Mother's diary while she was in college.
1:08:57 > 1:08:58It's slightly torrid.
1:08:58 > 1:09:00That's none of your business!
1:09:00 > 1:09:03I'd say Mother and Uncle Bill were somewhat of an item!
1:09:03 > 1:09:06People do not read other people's diaries.
1:09:06 > 1:09:07That's not a very nice thing to do.
1:09:07 > 1:09:09Go in there and help Gussie with the table.
1:09:09 > 1:09:10What about...
1:09:10 > 1:09:11I'll take care of that. Now, shoo!
1:09:24 > 1:09:27Excuse.
1:09:34 > 1:09:37Muriel, do you have to do that now?
1:09:37 > 1:09:40There's no need to be so irritable
1:09:40 > 1:09:43just because you have to shave at night.
1:09:43 > 1:09:44I'm not irritable.
1:09:44 > 1:09:45You're something.
1:09:45 > 1:09:47You haven't said a civil word all evening.
1:09:47 > 1:09:50Sometimes, a man doesn't feel like talking.
1:09:50 > 1:09:53What is it, dear? Something down at the office?
1:09:53 > 1:09:55No.
1:09:55 > 1:09:57You got the new slogan for Wham?
1:09:57 > 1:09:59It's not due yet.
1:09:59 > 1:10:01Oh... it's something.
1:10:01 > 1:10:03You're certainly upset about something.
1:10:03 > 1:10:06I can always tell.
1:10:06 > 1:10:07I'm not upset.
1:10:07 > 1:10:10It's just that I don't happen to approve
1:10:10 > 1:10:12of falsehood and deception,
1:10:12 > 1:10:14particularly in my own wife.
1:10:14 > 1:10:16What are you talking about?
1:10:16 > 1:10:19Oh, nothing. It's just that I distinctly remember
1:10:19 > 1:10:22your telling me you gave Bill back his fraternity pin
1:10:22 > 1:10:2415 years ago.
1:10:24 > 1:10:25What?
1:10:25 > 1:10:28Did you or didn't you?
1:10:28 > 1:10:29Did I or didn't I what?
1:10:29 > 1:10:31Give it back to him.
1:10:31 > 1:10:34Of course I did. If I said I did, I did.
1:10:34 > 1:10:35Ahh...
1:10:35 > 1:10:38then perhaps you'll have the goodness
1:10:38 > 1:10:42to explain how this happened to fall out of your jewel box.
1:10:49 > 1:10:50What's so funny?
1:10:50 > 1:10:52You.
1:10:52 > 1:10:55You're jealous!
1:10:55 > 1:10:58SHE GIGGLES
1:10:58 > 1:11:00If you were so crazy about the guy,
1:11:00 > 1:11:01why didn't you marry him?
1:11:01 > 1:11:03Because I wasn't in love with him.
1:11:03 > 1:11:04That's not what you said in your diary!
1:11:04 > 1:11:07Oh! Now you've been reading my diary!
1:11:07 > 1:11:09Well, it just happened to fall open,
1:11:09 > 1:11:12and I happened to look at it.
1:11:12 > 1:11:13It just happened. >
1:11:13 > 1:11:15I'll just bet!
1:11:15 > 1:11:16It's all over the book!
1:11:16 > 1:11:18Shh! The children.
1:11:18 > 1:11:20Then why don't you admit it?
1:11:20 > 1:11:22You were in love with Bill Cole!
1:11:22 > 1:11:23Oh, don't be absurd!
1:11:23 > 1:11:24Of course I was in love with Bill.
1:11:24 > 1:11:27In those days, I was in love with a new man every week.
1:11:27 > 1:11:29Then why did you marry me?
1:11:29 > 1:11:30I'm beginning to wonder.
1:11:30 > 1:11:33Maybe it was those big cow eyes of yours
1:11:33 > 1:11:35or that ridiculous hole in your chin.
1:11:35 > 1:11:36Maybe I knew you were going to bring me out
1:11:36 > 1:11:39to this 38,000 icebox with a dried-up trout stream and no windows!
1:11:39 > 1:11:42Or maybe I just happened to fall in love with you,
1:11:42 > 1:11:44but for heaven's sake, don't ask me why!
1:11:56 > 1:11:57Muriel...
1:11:57 > 1:11:59What time is it?
1:11:59 > 1:12:009.20.
1:12:00 > 1:12:02Thank you.
1:12:02 > 1:12:05Muriel, would it do any good
1:12:05 > 1:12:07to say I'm sorry?
1:12:07 > 1:12:09I don't know.
1:12:08 > 1:12:11Well, I am.
1:12:14 > 1:12:16I've behaved like a schoolboy,
1:12:16 > 1:12:17and I'm sorry.
1:12:19 > 1:12:21Oh, Jim!
1:12:30 > 1:12:32Mmm.
1:12:31 > 1:12:35Why don't you take the soap out of your ears?
1:12:35 > 1:12:37Why do I love you so much?
1:12:43 > 1:12:45Darling, it's awfully late.
1:12:45 > 1:12:47Mm-hmm.
1:12:49 > 1:12:51Maybe you ought to go down and lock the doors.
1:12:51 > 1:12:54What for? The windows are all open anyway.
1:12:58 > 1:13:01You have to get up at 5.00.
1:13:04 > 1:13:06Yeah. I guess so.
1:13:09 > 1:13:11Good night.
1:13:12 > 1:13:14Good night.
1:13:32 > 1:13:35'So, the days sped by...
1:13:35 > 1:13:38'and the bills and the extras.
1:13:38 > 1:13:41'And as autumn reared its lovely head,
1:13:41 > 1:13:44'so did the deadline for Jim's slogan.
1:13:44 > 1:13:46'It was practically a photo finish.'
1:13:47 > 1:13:48Send for sandwiches and coffee.
1:13:48 > 1:13:52It looks like an all-night session.
1:13:52 > 1:13:53What did Mr Dascomb say?
1:13:53 > 1:13:55He said, "Blandings, I want that slogan
1:13:55 > 1:13:58on my desk by 9.00am, check?" I said, "Check."
1:13:58 > 1:14:02I guess you'll just have to dream something up, good or bad.
1:14:02 > 1:14:04I rather got the impression
1:14:04 > 1:14:06that it better be good.
1:14:06 > 1:14:08HE SIGHS
1:14:08 > 1:14:11Funny how you look forward to the little things.
1:14:11 > 1:14:13Rain, for instance.
1:14:13 > 1:14:17For a month now, I've been looking forward to
1:14:17 > 1:14:20the first rainy night at the house...
1:14:20 > 1:14:22big blazing fire,
1:14:21 > 1:14:23Muriel pouring coffee.
1:14:25 > 1:14:27Me in my new smoking jacket
1:14:27 > 1:14:29with my pipe and slippers,
1:14:29 > 1:14:31reading my newspaper.
1:14:31 > 1:14:33Ah, well.
1:14:34 > 1:14:37Do you suppose my clothes are dry yet?
1:14:37 > 1:14:39KNOCK ON DOOR
1:14:39 > 1:14:41Thank heavens. The children.
1:14:40 > 1:14:42Sit still.
1:14:42 > 1:14:44You look too comfortable.
1:14:45 > 1:14:47KNOCKING
1:14:47 > 1:14:49Woo! What a night!
1:14:49 > 1:14:52I'm Harry Selby from down the road.
1:14:52 > 1:14:53Won't you come in?
1:14:53 > 1:14:55Oh, thank you.
1:14:55 > 1:14:57I'm afraid I'm going to get your place all wet.
1:14:57 > 1:15:01I just came in to tell you that the kids are safe, Mr Blandings.
1:15:01 > 1:15:03Oh, I'm not Mr Blandings.
1:15:03 > 1:15:05Cole's the name. Bill Cole.
1:15:05 > 1:15:06A friend of the family.
1:15:06 > 1:15:08Just came in out of the rain.
1:15:08 > 1:15:10I'm Mrs Blandings.
1:15:10 > 1:15:12Oh, how do?
1:15:12 > 1:15:13Oh, Mrs Williams just called
1:15:13 > 1:15:16and says your phone is out of order.
1:15:16 > 1:15:19She wanted me to come over and tell you that the water's rising.
1:15:19 > 1:15:21They've got the bridge roped off.
1:15:21 > 1:15:24Your girls will spend the night over at her place.
1:15:24 > 1:15:26Oh, thank you. I was beginning to get quite worried.
1:15:26 > 1:15:28Aw, she'll take good care of them.
1:15:28 > 1:15:29May I give you a cup of coffee?
1:15:29 > 1:15:31No, thank you. I'd better be getting back
1:15:31 > 1:15:34before I have to swim for it. Good night, Mrs Blandings.
1:15:34 > 1:15:36Good night. I'm very grateful.
1:15:36 > 1:15:37Not at all. Night, Mr Blandin...
1:15:37 > 1:15:40Cole. Bill Cole. Friend of the family.
1:15:40 > 1:15:43Just came in out of the rain.
1:15:43 > 1:15:45Well... good night!
1:15:45 > 1:15:46MURIEL: Good night!
1:15:46 > 1:15:47Thank you!
1:15:52 > 1:15:54No bridge. That's fine.
1:15:54 > 1:15:57How do I get back to Lansdale?
1:15:57 > 1:16:00You'll just have to spend the night here.
1:16:00 > 1:16:02Muriel, really? With your husband in New York
1:16:02 > 1:16:04and your children away?
1:16:03 > 1:16:05Think of my reputation!
1:16:05 > 1:16:06Don't worry, Snow White.
1:16:06 > 1:16:09You'll be just as pure and unsullied in the morning
1:16:09 > 1:16:11as you were the night before.
1:16:11 > 1:16:13That's the story of my life.
1:16:49 > 1:16:51HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS
1:16:51 > 1:16:54"Compare the price. Compare the slice.
1:16:54 > 1:16:57"Take our advice. Buy Wham!"
1:17:00 > 1:17:03Ohh...
1:17:13 > 1:17:15Uhh...
1:17:21 > 1:17:24HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS
1:17:24 > 1:17:28"If you'd buy better ham, you'd better buy Wham!"
1:17:28 > 1:17:30That's Boyle petroleum.
1:17:30 > 1:17:33"If you'd buy better oil, you'd better buy Boyle."
1:17:33 > 1:17:35Yeah.
1:17:35 > 1:17:36Hmm.
1:17:36 > 1:17:38Tsk tsk.
1:17:38 > 1:17:40Oh...
1:17:53 > 1:17:54HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS
1:17:54 > 1:17:57"This little piggy went to market
1:17:57 > 1:18:00"as meek and as mild as a lamb.
1:18:00 > 1:18:04"He smiled in his tracks when they slipped him the axe.
1:18:03 > 1:18:06"He knew he'd turn out to be Wham."
1:18:08 > 1:18:12Yeah. He knew he'd turn out to be Wham.
1:18:13 > 1:18:14It's gone!
1:18:14 > 1:18:16I've lost my touch.
1:18:16 > 1:18:19Maybe I never had a touch. Who knows?
1:18:19 > 1:18:20I can't think any more.
1:18:20 > 1:18:23All I've got on my mind
1:18:23 > 1:18:25is a house with an 18,000 mortgage
1:18:25 > 1:18:28and bills and extras and antiques.
1:18:28 > 1:18:31Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
1:18:31 > 1:18:32Hmm.
1:18:43 > 1:18:44Where are you going?
1:18:44 > 1:18:46I'm going home to get some sleep,
1:18:46 > 1:18:47and I'd advise you to do the same.
1:18:47 > 1:18:49But you haven't...
1:18:49 > 1:18:51Suppose I haven't? This isn't the only job in town!
1:18:51 > 1:18:54What will I tell Mr Dascomb?
1:18:54 > 1:18:56Oh, just tell him to...
1:18:55 > 1:18:57Just tell him.
1:19:24 > 1:19:25MURIEL: I'm sorry Jim isn't here.
1:19:25 > 1:19:28SIMMS: Oh, that's quite all right. I was on my way to town anyway.
1:19:28 > 1:19:30Thought I might catch Jim before he left for the office.
1:19:30 > 1:19:32Sure you won't stay to breakfast?
1:19:32 > 1:19:34No, thanks very much all the same.
1:19:34 > 1:19:35Darling!
1:19:35 > 1:19:36Good morning, dear.
1:19:36 > 1:19:38You must be exhausted.
1:19:38 > 1:19:40How did it go?
1:19:40 > 1:19:41Fine, fine.
1:19:41 > 1:19:43Everything all right?
1:19:43 > 1:19:44Everything's fine.
1:19:44 > 1:19:45Oh, hello, Henry.
1:19:45 > 1:19:48What are you doing up with the morning dew?
1:19:48 > 1:19:51Just dropped in to check the blueprints.
1:19:51 > 1:19:53Some extras came in. There are a couple things
1:19:53 > 1:19:54I thought we ought to go over together.
1:19:54 > 1:19:56Really? What are they?
1:19:56 > 1:19:57Well, let's see.
1:19:57 > 1:20:01A few things here that are all right, I guess.
1:20:01 > 1:20:03"Mortising five butts,
1:20:03 > 1:20:05"1.98."
1:20:05 > 1:20:06Let's not quibble about it.
1:20:06 > 1:20:08A man's entitled to mortise a few butts now and then.
1:20:08 > 1:20:11"Extra hardware, 3.89."
1:20:11 > 1:20:14Petty larceny. Let him get away with it.
1:20:14 > 1:20:16Now, there's one here that, frankly,
1:20:16 > 1:20:18I don't understand.
1:20:18 > 1:20:20Here we are.
1:20:20 > 1:20:24"Changes in closet, 1,247."
1:20:24 > 1:20:25Did you authorise that?
1:20:25 > 1:20:27Well, we probably told him to...
1:20:27 > 1:20:291,200 and what?
1:20:29 > 1:20:30< 47.
1:20:30 > 1:20:32"Changes in closet."
1:20:32 > 1:20:34That's the end!
1:20:34 > 1:20:35Uh...
1:20:35 > 1:20:36What's this notation?
1:20:36 > 1:20:38"Refer to detail sheet 135." What's that?
1:20:38 > 1:20:41As near as I can remember,
1:20:41 > 1:20:43that's something in back of the house.
1:20:43 > 1:20:45Let's take a look.
1:20:45 > 1:20:47Here we are.
1:20:46 > 1:20:48Well...
1:20:48 > 1:20:50it isn't a closet at all.
1:20:50 > 1:20:52It's off the back pantry.
1:20:52 > 1:20:54Mrs Blandings' little flower sink.
1:20:57 > 1:21:01Oh, Mrs Blandings' little flower sink.
1:21:01 > 1:21:04You didn't authorise any changes, did you?
1:21:04 > 1:21:07Well, they certainly weren't changes.
1:21:06 > 1:21:08What have you done?
1:21:08 > 1:21:10I haven't done anything.
1:21:10 > 1:21:12All I did was...
1:21:12 > 1:21:14Just nothing at all.
1:21:16 > 1:21:19What have you done?
1:21:19 > 1:21:20Well...
1:21:20 > 1:21:23All I did was one day,
1:21:23 > 1:21:25I saw four pieces of flagstone
1:21:25 > 1:21:26left over from the porch
1:21:26 > 1:21:30that were just going to be thrown away because nobody wanted them,
1:21:30 > 1:21:32and I asked Mr Retch
1:21:32 > 1:21:35if he wouldn't just put them on the floor of the flower room
1:21:35 > 1:21:38and poke cement between the cracks and give me a stone floor
1:21:38 > 1:21:41where it might be wet with flowers and things.
1:21:41 > 1:21:42That's absolutely all I did.
1:21:42 > 1:21:44That's all you did.
1:21:44 > 1:21:46Absolutely.
1:21:46 > 1:21:49Just four little pieces of flagstone.
1:21:49 > 1:21:52Did you, by any chance, authorise a drain?
1:21:52 > 1:21:54Of course I didn't!
1:21:54 > 1:21:59All I said was that I wanted a nice, dry stone floor.
1:21:59 > 1:22:03Mr Retch was just as nice as he could be
1:22:03 > 1:22:05and said, "Well, you're the doctor,"
1:22:05 > 1:22:08and that was all that anybody said to anybody about anything.
1:22:08 > 1:22:10Ohh...
1:22:12 > 1:22:13Well...
1:22:13 > 1:22:15I think I can tell you what happened.
1:22:15 > 1:22:18First, the carpenters had to rip out the flooring that was already laid.
1:22:18 > 1:22:21Those planks run under the entire width of the pantry.
1:22:21 > 1:22:25So Retch had to knock out the bottom of the pantry wall to get at them,
1:22:25 > 1:22:29then he had to chop off the top of the joists under the flower sink space
1:22:29 > 1:22:30to make room for the cradle.
1:22:30 > 1:22:33I guess he got some iron straps
1:22:32 > 1:22:35and fastened it to a large pan to give him something to hold the cement.
1:22:35 > 1:22:37With that added load on the weakened joists,
1:22:37 > 1:22:40I'll bet he had to put a lally column down there for support, too.
1:22:40 > 1:22:42I'll bet.
1:22:41 > 1:22:43But it was just four little flagstones...
1:22:43 > 1:22:44Quiet!
1:22:44 > 1:22:46< That means solid pipe runs under there and wall brackets.
1:22:46 > 1:22:49So Retch had to get the plumber back, take out a section
1:22:49 > 1:22:51so that he could get that cradle set.
1:22:51 > 1:22:53I'll bet he had to change the pitch of the soil pipe
1:22:53 > 1:22:54from one end of the house to the other.
1:22:54 > 1:22:55Good morning, Mr Cole.
1:22:55 > 1:22:57Morning. Morning, Jim.
1:22:57 > 1:22:58Hello, Bill.
1:22:58 > 1:23:00< And, of course, there are hot and cold water pipes
1:23:00 > 1:23:02< hooked to the joist right under that pantry.
1:23:02 > 1:23:04< They run to the bathroom on the second floor.
1:23:04 > 1:23:06The bridge was roped off,
1:23:06 > 1:23:08and Bill had to stay here last night.
1:23:08 > 1:23:10Slept like a rock.
1:23:10 > 1:23:13..Between the main panel and the junction box by the oil burner,
1:23:13 > 1:23:15including the 220 volt cable that goes to the stove.
1:23:15 > 1:23:16GUSSY: Morning, everybody!
1:23:16 > 1:23:18Wow! What a night!
1:23:18 > 1:23:21I've never seen so much rain in all my natural life!
1:23:21 > 1:23:24Gussie spent the night in Lansdale.
1:23:24 > 1:23:27< I passed the girls over at the Williamses.
1:23:27 > 1:23:29< They'll be on any minute.
1:23:29 > 1:23:30Thank you, Gussie. You'd better get breakfast started.
1:23:30 > 1:23:31< Yes, ma'am.
1:23:32 > 1:23:33Uh...
1:23:33 > 1:23:35where were we?
1:23:35 > 1:23:37Ahem!
1:23:36 > 1:23:39We were at the 220 volt cable that goes to the stove.
1:23:39 > 1:23:41And, of course, there are hot and cold water pipes...
1:23:41 > 1:23:43Just a minute.
1:23:43 > 1:23:46You mean the children weren't here last night, either?
1:23:46 > 1:23:48How could they be? The bridge was closed!
1:23:48 > 1:23:49I just came across it.
1:23:49 > 1:23:51It was closed last night!
1:23:51 > 1:23:53It's open now.
1:23:53 > 1:23:54If you'll all excuse me, I'll just go upstairs
1:23:54 > 1:23:56and slip into something
1:23:56 > 1:23:57a little more comfortable.
1:24:01 > 1:24:04I guess that's about the size of it,
1:24:03 > 1:24:06except that Retch had to repair the pantry wall.
1:24:06 > 1:24:07That meant getting a plasterer back,
1:24:07 > 1:24:10and he couldn't possibly have broken through that wall without...
1:24:10 > 1:24:12All right, Henry. We'll take care of it.
1:24:12 > 1:24:14I'll admit it's a little steep.
1:24:14 > 1:24:17I'll try and get Retch to knock 100 off the bill.
1:24:17 > 1:24:18If I can't get that, I'll certainly try for 75.
1:24:18 > 1:24:20Fine.
1:24:20 > 1:24:22If he doesn't go for 75, I'll make a stab at 50.
1:24:22 > 1:24:23You do that.
1:24:25 > 1:24:28Anyhow, I'm almost sure we can get 25.
1:24:31 > 1:24:32Good day.
1:24:32 > 1:24:33Good day.
1:24:33 > 1:24:34Bye.
1:24:36 > 1:24:38Darling...
1:24:38 > 1:24:40you're upset.
1:24:39 > 1:24:42You've got a lot of things on your mind.
1:24:42 > 1:24:45Muriel, there's only one thing I've got on my mind -
1:24:45 > 1:24:48this house and how soon we can get rid of it!
1:24:48 > 1:24:50That's not what you're thinking.
1:24:50 > 1:24:53Maybe it's not. Maybe I'm thinking I was once a happy man.
1:24:53 > 1:24:55I didn't have a closet, I didn't have three bathrooms,
1:24:55 > 1:24:58but I did have my sanity, a few dollars in the bank,
1:24:58 > 1:25:00two children who love me, and a wife I could trust!
1:25:00 > 1:25:02That's a fine thing to say!
1:25:02 > 1:25:04I also had a job at Dascomb and Banton -
1:25:04 > 1:25:06something I don't happen to have at the moment.
1:25:06 > 1:25:07Jim!
1:25:07 > 1:25:08That's right, I've resigned!
1:25:08 > 1:25:11We're starting all over again from scratch and without this house!
1:25:11 > 1:25:12You love this house!
1:25:12 > 1:25:15I hate it, from its rabbetted lintels
1:25:15 > 1:25:17to its zuz-zuz water softener.
1:25:17 > 1:25:19You know you don't mean that.
1:25:19 > 1:25:22Every word of it. Anybody who builds a house today is crazy!
1:25:22 > 1:25:24The minute you start,
1:25:24 > 1:25:26they put you on the list - the All-American sucker list.
1:25:26 > 1:25:28You start out to build a home,
1:25:28 > 1:25:29and you wind up in the poorhouse!
1:25:29 > 1:25:31If it can happen to me, what about the fellas
1:25:31 > 1:25:33who aren't making 15,000 a year?
1:25:33 > 1:25:37What about the kids who just got married and want a home of their own?
1:25:36 > 1:25:38It's a conspiracy, I tell you!
1:25:38 > 1:25:41A conspiracy against every boy and girl who were ever in love!
1:25:41 > 1:25:42KNOCKING
1:25:42 > 1:25:44What do you want?
1:25:46 > 1:25:47Mr Blandings,
1:25:47 > 1:25:51there's a matter of 12.36.
1:25:51 > 1:25:5412.36.
1:25:54 > 1:25:57Why be a piker, Mr Tesander?
1:25:57 > 1:25:59Here! Take everything I've got!
1:25:59 > 1:26:02Spread it out amongst your pals!
1:26:02 > 1:26:04Perhaps Retch would like a little something.
1:26:04 > 1:26:07Maybe Zucca could use my new smoking jacket!
1:26:07 > 1:26:09It's open house! Help yourself!
1:26:09 > 1:26:11Now, hold on, Mr Blandings.
1:26:11 > 1:26:14This 12.36, you don't owe me.
1:26:14 > 1:26:18I owe you.
1:26:18 > 1:26:20What was that?
1:26:20 > 1:26:21Yeah.
1:26:21 > 1:26:24Found I overcharged you,
1:26:24 > 1:26:26almost three feet.
1:26:28 > 1:26:32Better count it. Think it's all there.
1:26:32 > 1:26:35Thank you very much, Mr Tesander.
1:26:37 > 1:26:38Well...
1:26:38 > 1:26:41I guess I better be going.
1:26:42 > 1:26:46You sure got a pretty place here.
1:26:46 > 1:26:48Take good care of it.
1:26:51 > 1:26:52Oh, er...
1:26:52 > 1:26:55I'll tell Mr Zucca about the smoking jacket.
1:27:00 > 1:27:02Darling, what did you mean?
1:27:02 > 1:27:06Are we really going to have to sell this house?
1:27:06 > 1:27:08Don't know, dear.
1:27:08 > 1:27:11Don't know anything any more.
1:27:11 > 1:27:13In case anyone's interested,
1:27:13 > 1:27:15I'm leaving for town.
1:27:16 > 1:27:18Oh, Mr Tesander!
1:27:18 > 1:27:21Could you give me a lift into Lansdale?
1:27:21 > 1:27:22Yep.
1:27:22 > 1:27:23Fine. I'll be right with you.
1:27:23 > 1:27:28If you want to count the silverware, I'll wait.
1:27:28 > 1:27:30Be patient with me, Bill.
1:27:30 > 1:27:33Maybe one of these days I'll grow up.
1:27:33 > 1:27:35What happened to him?
1:27:35 > 1:27:3712.36.
1:27:38 > 1:27:40You mind if I say something?
1:27:40 > 1:27:42Ever since this thing started,
1:27:42 > 1:27:44I've been the voice of doom about the whole project.
1:27:44 > 1:27:46Every step of the way,
1:27:46 > 1:27:48I've been convinced you were getting fleeced, bilked,
1:27:48 > 1:27:52rooked, flim-flammed, and generally taken to the cleaners.
1:27:52 > 1:27:53Maybe you were. >
1:27:53 > 1:27:56Maybe it cost you a lot more than you thought it would. >
1:27:56 > 1:27:58Maybe there were times when you wished >
1:27:57 > 1:27:59you'd never started the whole thing. >
1:27:59 > 1:28:03But when I look around at what you two have got here...
1:28:03 > 1:28:05Well, I don't know.
1:28:05 > 1:28:07Maybe there are some things
1:28:07 > 1:28:09you should buy with your heart and not your head.
1:28:11 > 1:28:13Maybe those are the things that really count.
1:28:13 > 1:28:15Well, see you around.
1:28:15 > 1:28:17Bye, dear.
1:28:28 > 1:28:29Oh, Uncle Bill!
1:28:29 > 1:28:31BOTH TALK AT ONCE
1:28:31 > 1:28:33I heard all about it!
1:28:33 > 1:28:36- Goodbye! - Bye! - Bye!
1:28:36 > 1:28:37Morning, everybody!
1:28:37 > 1:28:39Dad, why aren't you at the office?
1:28:39 > 1:28:42Oh, well, I'm on a kind of vacation.
1:28:42 > 1:28:43You mean you got fired?
1:28:43 > 1:28:46We'll discuss it later. Not exactly.
1:28:46 > 1:28:48Come and get it, everybody! Breakfast is ready!
1:28:48 > 1:28:50I'm starving! What are we having?
1:28:50 > 1:28:52Orange juice, scrambled eggs and you-know-what!
1:28:52 > 1:28:55- Ham?
1:28:53 > 1:28:55- Not ham! Wham!
1:28:55 > 1:28:58If you ain't eatin' Wham, you ain't eatin' ham!
1:28:58 > 1:29:01< Now you kids go wash your hands.
1:29:01 > 1:29:02Muriel! >
1:29:02 > 1:29:04Darling!
1:29:04 > 1:29:06Give Gussie a 10 raise!
1:29:17 > 1:29:19Drop in and see us sometime.
1:29:19 > 1:29:21Yeah. Do that.
1:29:27 > 1:29:31Subtitles by The National Caption Center
1:29:31 > 1:29:34E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk