0:02:15 > 0:02:20This programme contains strong language..
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Footballers! Fifty grand a week!
0:02:25 > 0:02:28That's ten grand a day.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Well, it's a five-day week.
0:02:31 > 0:02:35I mean, one game a week. Two max.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38And they only train till midday, so that's like...
0:02:38 > 0:02:41..ten grand a working day.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48So what gems does Little Miss Cosmo have for you this week?
0:02:48 > 0:02:53Well, I'm reading about something called, erm, multiple orgasm?
0:02:53 > 0:02:57- Don't listen. They make that shit up. - Apparently not.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Well, multiple orgasms stop when you get married.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Something to do with church weddings.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05The blessing takes care of all that.
0:03:05 > 0:03:10In the eyes of God, one climax per session is enough.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Well, if that were the case, I'd go to church.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Multiple orgasms. Really!
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- We make do with one at a time. Do you see us complaining?- No.
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- There you go. - Cos you're asleep.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Ho-ho-ho! - (LAUGHS)
0:03:23 > 0:03:28Well, Mandy from Oxford here has at least ten orgasms a day.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32- I told you, they make it up. - So, by your maths, that's what?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36- Fifty orgasms a week? - Unless she's on a Cup run.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Ow! Christ, I've just come. - Jamie!- Oh, and another!
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- Shut up! People will start staring! - It's Hampstead Heath.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46They think you're weird if you're not having sex. Ooh, and another.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51- Seven more and I could move in with Mandy from Oxford.- (LAUGHS)
0:04:00 > 0:04:02(SIGHS)
0:04:38 > 0:04:40(CLEARS THROAT) Erm, would you mind if I...?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Oh, no, of course.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Do you come here often?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- Is that the best you have? - (CHUCKLES)
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Yes, I'm afraid it is, yes.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Oh.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Oh, don't worry. I...
0:05:09 > 0:05:11I shan't be asking you to dance.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18I find this very comforting.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- The view? - Yes.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28Ah, it's wonderful to know that some things... just stay.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Although I could do without that bloody tower!
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Oh, really? I love it. I love it that for a while, at least,
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- we had ambitions beyond concrete. - Hm.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44Do you ever wonder what would have happened
0:05:44 > 0:05:48if that chap in Pudding Lane had noticed that fire starting
0:05:48 > 0:05:53all those centuries ago, and then just put it out?
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I suppose the whole of London would be wooden.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Imagine the splinters.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02(CHUCKLES)
0:06:04 > 0:06:06By the way, I do.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- What? - Come here often.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Do you?- Every Wednesday, as a matter of fact, to this very bench.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15- Well, I never. - So be careful who you ask next time.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yes, I will.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22- Well, that is extraordinary. - It's just a habit.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- How long have you been coming here? - Oh. Oh, nearly 50 years.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30- That's a lot of Wednesdays. - Not as many as it might be.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I'm a strict observer of holidays.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Nice view? - Sorry?
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Can you get all of that, or would you like me to move for you?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06What are you talking about, darling?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09(LAUGHS) You are so pathetic.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- Oh, good God!- Yeah, isn't he? - She should be careful.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15In case some pervy man were to stare at her pants?
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- W-Well, yeah. - Yeah. I saw you.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- Saw me what? - Staring at her.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Staring at her pants.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25That's ridiculous.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- She's very beautiful. - Do you think?- Yeah.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32Young, pert. And what is it you and your mates say?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34- About what? - Stomach like a snare drum.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37- We-We-We don't say that. - Right.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40So what were you looking at, then?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Cos I saw you.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Oh! Oh, that!
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Oh, God, did you think I...?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Oh, that's - that's funny. No, it was...
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- It was her book. - Oh, right. Her book.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55- Yeah. - Right.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58And what book would that be, then?
0:07:59 > 0:08:03(IN ENGLISH ACCENT) "Le... tranger".
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- "L'Etranger". - Er, yeah.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- You know it, do you? - Oh, it's seminal.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14- Albert Camus, unless I'm mistaken. - It is, yeah.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Made quite an impact on me as a teenager.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Really? - Oh!- Camoo! Camoo...
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Yeah, that book, er, changed my life.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I noticed she was reading it, and thought,
0:08:26 > 0:08:30"Well, you don't see it about that often".
0:08:30 > 0:08:31What's it about, then?
0:08:31 > 0:08:35- Sorry?- This book that changed your life. What's it about?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- I'm not gonna get into that now. - Oh, come on.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41- The book that changed my husband's life, I should know about.- (SIGHS)
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Go on. You know I love a good story.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Well, you know, it's, er...
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- It's French. - Mm.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53- About a man who is an... etranger. - Right.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55- A stranger, basically. - Yeah.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Anyway, he goes on quite an adventure.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02You know, new man in town, the locals are difficult to break.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05- Mm-hm. - He starts off as a stranger,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08and through a series of beautifully-crafted events
0:09:08 > 0:09:12he eventually becomes accepted as the new...
0:09:13 > 0:09:16..sheriff.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Sheriff?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Yeah. It's kinda like a...
0:09:22 > 0:09:24..French... western.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33- Well, that does sound life-changing. - Yeah, it was.- Mm, mm.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Molly? Molly, what are you...?
0:09:41 > 0:09:43I'm so sorry to disturb you,
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- but I was just wondering if you could help me.- Of course.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49- We should leave her alone. - She doesn't mind. Do you?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- No, I don't mind.- All the same... - What can I do for you?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- I couldn't help noticing the book you're reading.- Really?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- "L'Etranger"?- Oui.- It's truly a wonderful piece of writing.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Well, do you know what? My husband was just saying so.
0:10:02 > 0:10:07- Really? You know it?- Oh, yeah. I mean, I read it. A few years ago.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Isn't Meursault an extraordinary character?
0:10:09 > 0:10:12His inability to lie,
0:10:12 > 0:10:15and his ability to live so much in the present.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Amazing creation.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Er, yeah.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23And still he ends up...
0:10:23 > 0:10:25sheriff.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- Sorry?- Jesus!- No, I was just saying, isn't it remarkable,
0:10:28 > 0:10:34- that he can be so truthful and still wind up as sheriff.- Molly.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36He just clears up that town, don't he?
0:10:36 > 0:10:41- I think you... may have the book a little confused.- Oh, really?
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Well, yes.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46This is a book about the, er,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49fundamental existential crisis of a man
0:10:49 > 0:10:52unable to live under the restrictions
0:10:52 > 0:10:55society imposes upon him, upon all of us.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04So... it's not a western?
0:11:04 > 0:11:06(WHISPERS) No.
0:11:11 > 0:11:16- Is there something wrong? - We should leave now.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Actually, no, no, no. Come here.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24Erm, I'd actually like to apologise on behalf of my husband.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- Apologise?- Yeah. I'm afraid he's been staring at your pants.
0:11:27 > 0:11:32For God's sake, Molly. Sorry about my wife. She's had too much sun.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35No, it's my husband who's been affected by the heat.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39But a little bit of advice for you. Next time you're sunbathing here,
0:11:39 > 0:11:43you might wanna be more careful. It's full... of perverts.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Pack up the things. We're going now.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56I'm really very sorry.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03(GIGGLES)
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I should...
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Were you really looking at me?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Yes.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Yes, yes, I was.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Well...
0:12:22 > 0:12:24That is quite frightening.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Oh, God. This is...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Look, I'm gonna... I really am very sorry.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- She gets jealous. - When you stare at girls' underwear?
0:12:34 > 0:12:39Well, I don't very often stare, but... yeah.
0:12:39 > 0:12:45I suppose in such a circumstance she would manifest jealousy.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- And what about you?- Me? - You. Are you the jealous type?
0:12:49 > 0:12:54- Oh, God, no. Molly can stare at who she likes. It's fine.- Really?
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Well, apart from Jude Law, but that's more of a... talent issue.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Look, I'm gonna...
0:13:01 > 0:13:05I really am very, very sorry.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Would you...
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Would you like to look again?
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Sorry?
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Would you like to have another look?
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- Sorry, another look at... - Yes.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Erm...
0:13:29 > 0:13:34We all need a look now and again. Like Meursault in the heat.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Yes,... like Meurs...
0:14:03 > 0:14:06(WHISPERS) Thank you.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09- Is that the right thing to...? - Why not?
0:14:10 > 0:14:12You're welcome.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Molly!
0:14:49 > 0:14:53So, tell me, why did you break the habit?
0:14:53 > 0:14:56- Break it? - Yes, it's Thursday.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- Thursday? - Yes.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- Are you sure? - Yes, of course.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08- No, no. It's definitely Wednesday. - Oh, no, no, it can't be.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Oh?- Because I always come here on Thursdays.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Are you being... a wag?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18(LAUGHS) No, no. I come to this bench
0:15:18 > 0:15:21to look at that view on Thursdays.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24So, er, it must be Thursday.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Or one of us has got it wrong.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31(LAUGHS)
0:15:48 > 0:15:50What are you gonna do?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- You want me to go? - I want you to make a decision!
0:15:55 > 0:15:58OK. OK, fine, I will.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03If I go, then...
0:16:05 > 0:16:07You bore me, Ludo, you bore me.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11- I bore you?- You bore me to death. I'm so bored. I'm bored right now.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14- You're unbelievable! - You said. It's not interesting.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Now make a fucking decision!
0:16:16 > 0:16:19And make sure it's not a dull one.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26You're making me do this.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Take responsibility for yourself.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03You alright? You alright, love?
0:17:05 > 0:17:08It's just, I was walking by, I couldn't help but notice you,
0:17:08 > 0:17:12staring out into the middle distance a bit like a nutter.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I mean, look, if you are a nutter, enough said.
0:17:14 > 0:17:17But you don't strike me as your bona fide mental.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22I haven't actually met any real-deal headcases but they don't generally
0:17:22 > 0:17:26look like you, I've seen them on the TV. And if they did look like you,
0:17:26 > 0:17:29then I'd be down there smeared in my own shit
0:17:29 > 0:17:33quicker than you could say, "Pass me your underpants, nurse".
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Er...
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Look, if I've misjudged things, then, erm...
0:17:43 > 0:17:47- Sorry. - You for real?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49She speaks.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53- I speak. - Which is good to know.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57What did you mean, right, when you said if they all look like me?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Sorry? - What exactly do I look like?
0:18:00 > 0:18:04Well, er, you're a... You're a good-looking bird.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07- A yummy mummy? - Well, yeah, if you like.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- I don't have kids. - Well, that's even better.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- Is it? - Yeah, yeah.- Do you have kids?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Bloody hell! I haven't even bought you a drink yet.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20- You're too young to be a father. - I am.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22- How old? - 25.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25- No, that's not too young. - Maybe it's not too young,
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- but it's definitely young. - Compared to what?- Er, to what?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31You, you're young. Compared to what?
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Erm...
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Er... The telephone.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Yeah, I'm definitely young compared to the telephone.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43(LAUGHS) You are.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46(BOTH LAUGH)
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- So, what are you young compared to? - What's that?
0:18:49 > 0:18:52I said what's old compared to you?
0:18:54 > 0:18:57What kind of fucking question is that?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59What?
0:19:00 > 0:19:03What kind of moronic fucking question is that?!
0:19:03 > 0:19:07It was your moronic fucking question.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21I just... It's OK. You can leave now.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Oh. Oh, can I?
0:19:23 > 0:19:26- Yeah, you can go now. - Oh, right. OK.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29So, you're alright, then?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Fine. Thanks for your concern.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37(EXHALES)
0:19:39 > 0:19:41My name's Noel. (CLEARS THROAT)
0:19:42 > 0:19:46- Noel? - Yeah. As in, er, Gallagher.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49And Edmonds.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Oh. God.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- (LAUGHS) - Crushes.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- (BOTH LAUGH) - What's your name?
0:19:57 > 0:20:01- Anna. - Oh, as in Kournikova.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04As in, I'd quite like to spend some time by myself. No offence.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08- OK, none taken. I'll leave you to it.- Thanks for your concern.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10It's a'right. You already did that.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31What are you doing?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35I'm leaving you to it, yeah?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38OK? Now, if you don't mind,
0:20:38 > 0:20:41be quiet, because I need some still.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Mm?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49You have got some front.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51(BOTH LAUGH)
0:20:51 > 0:20:55You know, you shouldn't be feeding me lines like that.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- Are you seriously not gonna leave? - No.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02- I could scream. - So, scream.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08I could get you arrested. I could say that you tried to touch me.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Well, if I'm going down for it...
0:21:18 > 0:21:21You know what? I think I'm punching above my weight.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25I'm just gonna leave you to it. I'm sorry.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30You can stay.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36Yeah?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Don't mind if I do.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46What makes you think that someone like you
0:21:46 > 0:21:48has any chance whatsoever with someone like me?
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Y'know, I don't remember asking if I did.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- Come on, you've been drooling since you saw me.- I have not.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58I just... saw a girl who looked upset
0:21:58 > 0:22:01and I made sure that she was alright and then I decided
0:22:01 > 0:22:04to do a spot of meditation. And there was no drool involved.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07You are out of your mind.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Seriously, yeah? You're fucking with my chi.
0:22:21 > 0:22:22Molly!
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Oh, come on, Molly!
0:22:27 > 0:22:31(INHALES DEEPLY)
0:22:32 > 0:22:36- My boyfriend just left me. - Where?
0:22:37 > 0:22:42- Here, just now. Ludo. - Ludo? What, as in the...? (LAUGHS)
0:22:42 > 0:22:46- As in boring, middle-aged twat. Shut up.- (BOTH LAUGH)
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Has anybody ever told you that you have great eyes?
0:23:02 > 0:23:06- Oh, sorry. Are we in Stringfellows? - No, really, you do.- Make an effort.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08No, you do. You have great eyes.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Which is lucky. - Lucky?- Yeah.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15- Because they pull focus from your nose.- What's wrong with my nose?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18Nothing's wrong with it. You have a great fuckin' nose.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22- Are you seriously trying to tell me I've got a big nose?- Not big.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26- Well, what, then? - What I'm sayin' is that
0:23:26 > 0:23:29it doesn't matter what kind of nose you have, because those eyes
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- will always overpower it. - Overpower?!- Erm...
0:23:33 > 0:23:36You happen to have a beautiful nose. My point is, those eyes are so good,
0:23:36 > 0:23:41even if you had a ridiculous nose, it wouldn't matter, which you don't.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45But if you did, I wouldn't notice, which I didn't until now.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48And now I look, it's a great nose. Yeah, it's great.
0:23:48 > 0:23:54- You have a great nose.- You've just got no idea who you're dealing with.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- I'm damaged! - We're all damaged, babe.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Who the fuck do you think you are?!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05Arriving out of nowhere, asking me personal questions,
0:24:05 > 0:24:09when clearly I'm upset about something, which, incidentally,
0:24:09 > 0:24:12has fuck all to do with you. And then you sit here next to me,
0:24:12 > 0:24:16you sit there... Me, an attractive, single, vulnerable woman.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20..and tell me I've got a beautiful nose. How fucking dare you?!
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- Yeah, I'm sorry. - What?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I'm sorry. Erm...
0:24:25 > 0:24:29- I'm sorry that I complimented you. It was very insensitive of me.- Yes!
0:24:29 > 0:24:34- It was a crap line!- Oy... - Not a hint of originality.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38Crap men are one thing, but crap lines are unforgivable.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42OK, OK! The whole thing was a line. All of this was a line, you know?
0:24:42 > 0:24:46- I saw you rowing with, er, Monopoly. - Ludo.
0:24:46 > 0:24:50Yeah, with him. OK? And I thought, you know, "She is very, very fit".
0:24:50 > 0:24:52And... And very, very vulnerable.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56And I am very, very horny. So, yeah, you're right.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58- I know I'm right. - So, you are.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00- I know. - So, how did I do?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Shit. - Well, you can't blame me for trying.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07- You can't blame me for telling you to fuck off.- No.- So, go on, then.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Well, erm...
0:25:14 > 0:25:16You didn't scream.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- You're right. - I am?
0:25:20 > 0:25:23- Let's do it. - Do it? What are you sayin'?
0:25:23 > 0:25:28- I'm saying I wanna fuck you. - You're saying that you wanna...?
0:25:28 > 0:25:31- I wanna fuck you.- You're saying... - I wanna fuck you.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35You need to stop sayin' that because now you're really confusing me.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38I wasn't coming over here to ask if you wanted...
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- I was gonna ask if you wanted to go for a drink.- I told you I want...
0:25:41 > 0:25:44To fuck me. Yeah, yeah.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Oh. Oh.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51- Do you?- As a rule, I like not to ask more than a dozen times.
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Right, yeah. OK, OK.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- What, really? - I wanna have sex with you.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- With me? - Yeah, I wanna fuck you.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05You're not being mental again? So what you sayin'?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09All the... lines that... Those crap lines, actually, they all worked?
0:26:09 > 0:26:12- No, they were shit.- Oh. - If you'd said nothing,
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- I'd have fucked you earlier. - Jesus.- I thought for a moment
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- you might interest me, but there was nothing.- That's wonderful.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Well, we'll see what it is. Come on.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Well, um, what, now?
0:26:26 > 0:26:28OK. Erm, right. Well, where do you live?
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- Cos I'm, er, like a bus ride away... - Here.- Here?
0:26:31 > 0:26:35- What? Now? - Right here.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- Here? - There.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41Wh... Wh...
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Errr...
0:26:46 > 0:26:48- Can you do these? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:26:52 > 0:26:57- Bit stuck. Bit stuck.- You wanna do this, right?- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Oh, yeah!
0:27:08 > 0:27:09What?
0:27:11 > 0:27:13You can fuck off.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19You bore me.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25(DOG GROWLS)
0:27:25 > 0:27:27- Fuck off! - (DOG BARKS)
0:27:27 > 0:27:29What you want from me?
0:27:29 > 0:27:32(DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE)
0:27:46 > 0:27:50I've often wondered about Cheryl and Brian.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Who?
0:27:55 > 0:27:57- Ah. - Do you think they were happy?
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Well, who knows?
0:28:00 > 0:28:02At least they were together.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Ahh, is that happiness?
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Well, I suppose we'll never know about them.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Well, I think they met during the War.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16And he went off to fight in France,
0:28:16 > 0:28:18and she stayed behind in London,
0:28:18 > 0:28:22slaving away in the munitions factories,
0:28:22 > 0:28:26both of them wondering when or if they would see one another again.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30An intense and terrifying start,
0:28:30 > 0:28:33which propelled them through the hardships
0:28:33 > 0:28:38and the difficulties, and on. Like a fully taut bow and arrow.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41The greater the tension before it launches,
0:28:41 > 0:28:45the further it goes. Well, I think love's like that.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47And I've always felt
0:28:47 > 0:28:50Cheryl and Brian achieved great distance because of it.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58Other people's stories are always fascinating.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05Have you achieved great distance?
0:29:06 > 0:29:09We have now. She's dead, and I'm in Cricklewood.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11- Oh, I'm sorry. - No, it's OK.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17- Has a wonderful dentist. - Cricklewood?- Oh, heaven.
0:29:17 > 0:29:20- But such very long waiting lists. - (LAUGHS) Yes.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23What about you?
0:29:24 > 0:29:27Tommy died five years ago.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30- 43 years of marriage. - Oh, well done.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34He was a sweet man.
0:29:34 > 0:29:37A very sweet man.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41But this bench was my little secret.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44I never came here with him in all those years.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47There was a time in the early '80s
0:29:47 > 0:29:49when he thought I was having an affair,
0:29:49 > 0:29:52because I wouldn't tell him where this place was.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56I used to tell him I was visiting my son. Anything, just to get here.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00It was always important to me to have my little place.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03My little bench. My little view.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06- You have a son? - Yes.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08Oh, he's in his 40s now.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Eddie.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12Oh. Oh, that's my name.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18So, why here? Why this bench?
0:30:24 > 0:30:27There was a boy. We were 17.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29We only met twice. We met here.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34I was engaged to Tommy. He was engaged to...
0:30:34 > 0:30:37I don't remember her name. And things...
0:30:40 > 0:30:42They were different times.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49- Teresa. - What?
0:30:51 > 0:30:54The woman... he was engaged to.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59She was called Teresa.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09And... he was called Eddie.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16And she was called...
0:31:16 > 0:31:18..Iris.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33- He's not your type. - How would you know?
0:32:34 > 0:32:36You're my partner. It's not the same thing at all.
0:32:36 > 0:32:41- He is. - (LAUGHS)
0:32:42 > 0:32:45God, you're not wrong there.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Why are you always reading?
0:32:50 > 0:32:54- Why?- Yeah. Why?- You know what, Billy? You should read some more.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56You might learn something about yourself.
0:32:58 > 0:33:03There's nothing I need to learn about myself that he couldn't teach me.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11- Fair point. - (LAUGHS)
0:33:11 > 0:33:14I met this guy the other night.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16- Oh, yeah? - He had one of those smiles.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18That says, "I have no self-respect"?
0:33:18 > 0:33:22No, the sort that says "I'll give you the best blow job you've ever had."
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Oh, that one.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31- And did he? - Come on, there are rules.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34- The rules. - There've gotta be rules, Bri.
0:33:34 > 0:33:37- You dirty bastard. - You fucking love it.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45Look, I've been thinking...
0:33:45 > 0:33:48I told you. Two's company.
0:33:48 > 0:33:51I know, and three's a night out, but it's not about that.
0:33:51 > 0:33:54- You're not talking about sex?- No. - They said this day would come.
0:33:54 > 0:33:58- You're gonna let me have a garden? - I'm not spending the rest of my days
0:33:58 > 0:34:00- in "The Good Life". - Oh, "The Good Life".
0:34:00 > 0:34:04- When I was a kid, I used to really fancy Penelope Keith.- Margo?
0:34:04 > 0:34:07Yes. She's got a touch of the Maggie Thatchers.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10- Oh, you were so confused. - And you fancied Richard Briers?
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Oh, don't be sick.
0:34:12 > 0:34:16- Felicity Kendal every time.- Fuck off. - No, seriously. Those dungarees, man.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19If I met her today, I'd still love to have a go.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22You should spend less time being nostalgic.
0:34:22 > 0:34:26- Nothing wrong with nostalgia. - A little bit, maybe,
0:34:26 > 0:34:29- but you can be nostalgic about breakfast.- I told you, read more.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Penelope Keith? What a minger!
0:34:36 > 0:34:40- Well, let's face it. We've never had the same taste in women.- Ah.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43- So, what were you thinking? - When?
0:34:44 > 0:34:47Just now. You said you'd been thinking.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Or has that thought already nestled itself
0:34:49 > 0:34:53in one of the empty corners of your mind? Imagine the millions
0:34:53 > 0:34:56of tiny thoughts there must be scrabbling around,
0:34:56 > 0:34:59looking for a way out before their last gasping breath deserts them
0:34:59 > 0:35:03and they become another distant memory of a once half-decent idea.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06You should read less.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09I know. I promise, as soon as you commit to me for life,
0:35:09 > 0:35:11I absolutely will.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42(SIGHS)
0:35:59 > 0:36:01Ohh.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04Yes, yes, yes, yes. Come to Daddy.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15- Oh, yeah. - Alright. What do you reckon?
0:36:15 > 0:36:17- Jesus Christ! - Bit of a monster, eh? Come on.
0:36:17 > 0:36:22Oi, oi, oi! No, no. No means no.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25- You walked in with your dick out. - That's cos I need a piss.
0:36:25 > 0:36:30- Well, go somewhere else. Some of us have sex here.- Christ! Urgh!
0:36:35 > 0:36:40- Where the hell have you been? - I think I get to ask the questions.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43- Dirty little... - Aren't you?
0:36:44 > 0:36:46Hello.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55- Where's Eve? - She's just coming.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58(SIGHS) I still need a piss.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01You don't have to pretend to me. It's the 21st Century.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05- It doesn't have the stigma it used to have.- Very funny.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07Give us a kiss.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15- You've always been the greatest kisser.- Thanks.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18You're not so bad yourself. Shame your friend never found out.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21We can drop that now. Any time you like.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25Ahhh. Come on, Eve. Daddy needs a wee-wee.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28- Go and find another hedge. - No chance! No way.
0:37:28 > 0:37:34I fail to see how some men can find sex with men in any way appealing.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36Struggle to see how women can.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39You underestimate your immense sexual magnetism.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42- I'm not the only one. - Oh, poor baby, not getting any?
0:37:42 > 0:37:45(BOTH LAUGH)
0:37:46 > 0:37:50Look, before Eve gets here, I brought the papers. You?
0:37:50 > 0:37:53Yeah.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57Decree absolute. Feels very final.
0:37:57 > 0:38:01- Isn't that the point? - I suppose so.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05Do you, Sara Louise Williams,
0:38:05 > 0:38:08hereby agree to never laying any claim
0:38:08 > 0:38:14to the life and emotions of this man, Peter Brian Maxwell?
0:38:14 > 0:38:16- I do. - Mm.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20And do you, Peter Brian Maxwell,
0:38:20 > 0:38:25hereby consent to never ringing up this woman, Sara Louise Williams,
0:38:25 > 0:38:29after you've had a few beers and are in desperate need of a bunk-up?
0:38:30 > 0:38:32I...
0:38:33 > 0:38:36I do, I do, I do. Christ, that hurt.
0:38:37 > 0:38:41- Well, maybe we could break the rules once in a while.- Oh, just the once?
0:38:41 > 0:38:43- Oh, what about Saturdays when... - Daddy!
0:38:45 > 0:38:49- Daddy.- Hello, gorgeous. How's my little princess?
0:38:49 > 0:38:52Mummy bought me a brand-new bicycle.
0:38:52 > 0:38:56- Wow! Is it wonderful? - It's the best bicycle in the world.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59That's what happens when mummies and daddies get divorced.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02- The children get lovely presents. - I like your divorce.
0:39:02 > 0:39:07- I think Mummy is much happier. - Is she? Well, so is Daddy,
0:39:07 > 0:39:10- which makes you a very lucky little girl.- Why am I lucky?
0:39:10 > 0:39:14Well, because you have a mummy and a daddy who are...
0:39:14 > 0:39:17..who are very happy.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Bet none of your friends can say that.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24I love you, Mummy, but I want two mummies like Amy.
0:39:24 > 0:39:26- Mm. - (LAUGHS) Do you know what a dyke is?
0:39:26 > 0:39:31What? It's a d... dam. Well, it's a big hill.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33Holds lots of water.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36Water. Do you know what? Can we walk a little bit, love?
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Cos Daddy really needs to find a toilet.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42- She's seven. - Yeah, right.
0:39:42 > 0:39:45- Dam. Damn's not a nice word. - Oh, come on.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47Damn this. Damn that.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54Well, every Wednesday.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56For nearly 50 years.
0:39:56 > 0:40:00Huh. Shall we, erm...?
0:40:00 > 0:40:03Shall we what?
0:40:03 > 0:40:06Well, I don't know. We could, erm...
0:40:06 > 0:40:08- What? - Attack the summit.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Mm?
0:40:12 > 0:40:14Gosh.
0:40:15 > 0:40:19- It's a long time since... - Me, too.
0:40:40 > 0:40:43(SIGHS)
0:40:43 > 0:40:45So, how does it feel?
0:40:45 > 0:40:48Well, it feels like I haven't pissed in a month.
0:40:48 > 0:40:52- I meant about being divorced. - Oh. (LAUGHS) Feels good.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55I knew.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57Knew what?
0:40:57 > 0:41:00We were marrying for the wrong reasons.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06What was it about us tying the knot that just stopped everything?
0:41:07 > 0:41:10I - I think we just ran out of things to say.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13And it often happens in a relationship.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17Some people get to the point where they say things like,
0:41:17 > 0:41:21"I've met someone else" or "I just can't do this any more".
0:41:21 > 0:41:23And I went for,
0:41:23 > 0:41:26"Will you marry me?"
0:41:26 > 0:41:29And you went for, "Yes."
0:41:29 > 0:41:34The wedding didn't stop anything. It stopped years before. We both knew.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37(SIGHS)
0:41:37 > 0:41:40But that wedding night, though...
0:41:40 > 0:41:44- Ho-ho! That was something else, you animal!- (LAUGHS)
0:41:44 > 0:41:49- (BOTH LAUGH)- I was angry. I mean, well, nothing beats angry sex.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52- Yeah, I was furious. - You're not joking.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55See, that's where we went wrong. I've worked it all out.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58I've spent a lot of time thinking about it on the loo. The thing is,
0:41:58 > 0:42:01we got married and then we got wound up.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04And we should've got angrier much earlier. (GROWLS)
0:42:04 > 0:42:07- You're insane. - No, I'm happy.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11And I haven't had sex in a year.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13A year? Who was that?
0:42:13 > 0:42:16It was you. There was only you.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18I know.
0:42:18 > 0:42:22- Shame sex isn't enough. - Yeah, shame, indeed.
0:42:24 > 0:42:28Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come to Daddy. Ohh.
0:42:28 > 0:42:30Yes, yes, yes.
0:42:30 > 0:42:35No, no. Was it here you dropped it? Yeah?
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Er, I can't find it now.
0:42:37 > 0:42:41It's gone. No. No.
0:42:41 > 0:42:45- Bollocks, bollocks. Bollocks, no. - (LAUGHS)- I hate beautiful girls.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49- If she was ugly...- I love the fact I know nothing about men's minds.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51- Never overestimate us. - Oh, I don't.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54My mother told me something once when I was a child.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56The only thing she ever truly did tell me.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59If you want to know the way to a man's heart,
0:42:59 > 0:43:01- it's simple... - Yeah, through his stomach.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03- Through his shirt with a bread knife.- Ouch!
0:43:03 > 0:43:06- This is for you, Daddy. - Oh, thank you, baby.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11Pete, there is one thing I would like to know.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14Look, we're fickle, sexually-frustrated liars
0:43:14 > 0:43:18who think that settling down is the same as settling for.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20- I mean about us. - Oh?
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Well, you're still the most attractive man I've ever met,
0:43:25 > 0:43:30you make me laugh, you're a great dad, you earn good money,...
0:43:31 > 0:43:34..and yet I still know you're wrong.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40- Well. - Well, what?
0:43:40 > 0:43:44Look, I have no idea what's right for you,
0:43:44 > 0:43:47or, for that matter, what's right for me.
0:43:48 > 0:43:52- Maybe I'm too picky. - Oh, don't be too hard on yourself.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55- We both know that we know nothing. - Except one thing.- What?
0:43:55 > 0:44:00- That we both want this divorce. - Except that. Come here.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07Ah, yeah.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09Ooh.
0:44:09 > 0:44:13- How you doin', big man? - No.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16For God's sake.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22Ahhh.
0:44:22 > 0:44:26- (TRICKLING) - Oh, yeah. Oh!
0:44:26 > 0:44:29Uh. Uh-huh. Mm-hm.
0:44:29 > 0:44:32Hallelujah. Hallelujah.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35Ahh.
0:44:35 > 0:44:36Ahhhh.
0:44:43 > 0:44:46- Better?- (MIMICS SEAN CONNERY) Oh, yes, better.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49(BOTH LAUGH)
0:44:49 > 0:44:51Love you.
0:44:51 > 0:44:53I love you, too.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00Come on, baby. Come on.
0:45:00 > 0:45:04There you go. Ohh! Give Mummy a kiss.
0:45:07 > 0:45:09You're spending the day with Daddy!
0:45:11 > 0:45:14Now, don't run, don't run. I can't catch up with you.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18- Come on! - Not too far.
0:45:40 > 0:45:43It was a beautiful day.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46I wanted a big do, but Tommy found all that embarrassing,
0:45:46 > 0:45:50so we ended up with a few friends in the old civic hall in Belsize Park.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53Oh, God, I used to play darts in there.
0:45:54 > 0:45:58We had a huge wedding. You know, church, reception.
0:45:58 > 0:46:01All the trappings. I've always liked a do.
0:46:06 > 0:46:09I'm finding this very odd.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11Mm. Isn't it?
0:46:13 > 0:46:17You know, I can really see you now. You have the same...
0:46:17 > 0:46:20That thing you do with the corner of your mouth.
0:46:27 > 0:46:31Maybe it would've been better if we'd, you know,
0:46:31 > 0:46:34died, not knowing.
0:46:34 > 0:46:39- Knowing what? - Can I tell you something?
0:46:39 > 0:46:42Shall we stop walking, or is this something I can take in my stride?
0:46:42 > 0:46:46No, no, no. Momentum plays a great part in my life,
0:46:46 > 0:46:49and I'd very much like to get to the top of that summit.
0:46:49 > 0:46:53I think you're right. If we stop now, we might need a push.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58So, what was it you wanted to tell me?
0:47:00 > 0:47:03You've always been my perfect woman.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06- You stopped. - I know.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12I think that was because I wasn't real.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15Hm. But you are now.
0:47:15 > 0:47:17Well,...
0:47:17 > 0:47:21..they do say you should never come face to face with fantasy.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24Wednesdays and Thursdays.
0:47:24 > 0:47:28You know, I can't believe this is the first time I got the day wrong.
0:47:28 > 0:47:31I mean, was it fate? You know, was it planned like this?
0:47:31 > 0:47:35- I mean, why?- So that for 50 years you could be 17 and handsome.
0:47:37 > 0:47:40Do you think we're ever gonna get to the top?
0:47:40 > 0:47:42Up there where the kites live?
0:47:42 > 0:47:45It'd be silly not to try. I mean, on a day like this.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49I used to spend a lot of time up there, but it suddenly got steeper.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51I think it was some time in the early '90s.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54Yes, yes, that's right. Did they do it deliberately,
0:47:54 > 0:47:58so us oldies would have to put up with the inferior view?
0:47:58 > 0:48:01Well, I should like to defeat them.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05Right, give me a few steps. I'll get into my rhythm.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47(MOBILE RINGS)
0:48:49 > 0:48:54- Hello. Now, where might you be? - "Were you looking at that girl?"
0:48:54 > 0:48:57- Yeah. - "Do you think she was nice?"
0:48:58 > 0:49:01Yeah, she was. Very nice.
0:49:01 > 0:49:04Where the hell are you? You're late. I booked you for 3 o'clock.
0:49:04 > 0:49:09- "Well, I'm a busy girl." - You spying on me?- "Maybe."
0:49:09 > 0:49:11OK, I'm busted. Where are you?
0:49:13 > 0:49:15Hello?
0:49:15 > 0:49:20- Hello?- I've only been away a week, and already you're window-shopping.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23(LAUGHS)
0:49:23 > 0:49:25Come here, you gorgeous thing.
0:49:27 > 0:49:30- It's good to see you. - You, too.
0:49:30 > 0:49:32Are we walking or sitting?
0:49:32 > 0:49:35Let's see.
0:49:36 > 0:49:39- I'm feeling a walk. - OK.
0:49:42 > 0:49:46- So, how was the funeral? - It went very well.
0:49:46 > 0:49:48My grandfather always used to say to me,
0:49:48 > 0:49:52"You stay in the game long enough, the cards'll eventually turn up."
0:49:52 > 0:49:56- The lottery of life. - He sounds like a wise man.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59He was. And he was killed by the thing he loved.
0:49:59 > 0:50:02Great way to go. Shame it was a train.
0:50:02 > 0:50:04But he died happy.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07- I just hope he got the number. - (LAUGHS)
0:50:08 > 0:50:10Have you ever thought about it?
0:50:10 > 0:50:13- What? - How you'd like to die?
0:50:14 > 0:50:16- Have you? - God, yes.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19I've narrowed it down to two exits.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21Peacefully in my sleep,
0:50:21 > 0:50:24or drowned in a Jacuzzi after an overdose of champagne
0:50:24 > 0:50:27poured down my throat by Thierry Henry.
0:50:27 > 0:50:30- (LAUGHS) You be careful what you wish for.- I'm safe. He's married.
0:50:30 > 0:50:33- He's a footballer. - He's not the affair type.
0:50:33 > 0:50:37- He's a French footballer. - You haven't answered my question.
0:50:37 > 0:50:39- What? - Have you thought about it?
0:50:39 > 0:50:42- Actually, I have. - Well?
0:50:42 > 0:50:45Murdered by a jealous husband.
0:50:45 > 0:50:49- Now stop being morbid. Do you want a cigarette?- I quit.- When?
0:50:49 > 0:50:52- At Mum and Dad's. They don't know I smoke.- How old are you?
0:50:52 > 0:50:55- That's not the point. It would upset them.- But you're a...
0:50:55 > 0:50:58- A what? - A smoker.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01- Well, I'm not any more. - OK.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05- Do you mind if I smoke? - No.
0:51:11 > 0:51:14Can I bring up the "H" word?
0:51:14 > 0:51:17- Oh, come on, babe. - We need to go away.
0:51:17 > 0:51:19When was the last time you had a holiday?
0:51:19 > 0:51:22I don't do holidays. You know that.
0:51:22 > 0:51:25I know, but, well, I'm just thinking about you.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31Dah-dah!
0:51:32 > 0:51:35Two tickets. The Marriott Hotel on Spaniards Beach in...
0:51:35 > 0:51:38- Barbados! - Yeah!
0:51:39 > 0:51:41How on earth did I find you?
0:51:41 > 0:51:44I found you, remember?
0:52:21 > 0:52:23(ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)
0:52:29 > 0:52:32Eve. Why don't we go and get an ice-cream?
0:52:32 > 0:52:35- Again?- Yeah. Some days you need two ice-creams.
0:52:37 > 0:52:42And it just so happens this is one of those days.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50There's more to life than thoughts. There's actions.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53Yeah. What sort of actions are playing on your mind?
0:52:55 > 0:52:57- Kids. - Kids?
0:52:57 > 0:52:59Kids.
0:52:59 > 0:53:02Do you think you could not shout "kids" while we're sitting here?
0:53:02 > 0:53:06- People might think we're... teachers or something.- I'm serious.
0:53:06 > 0:53:09- So am I. Kids?! - Now you're doing it.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12You want to talk about them, or you wanna have them?
0:53:12 > 0:53:15I think I do. I think I really wanna have them.
0:53:15 > 0:53:20- Billy, you're gay.- So are you. It doesn't fuckin' matter. We can adopt.
0:53:20 > 0:53:22I know we're legally allowed to adopt, but...
0:53:22 > 0:53:25- But what? - But...
0:53:26 > 0:53:29- I'm not ready.- You're not ready? You're in your 40s.
0:53:29 > 0:53:33- I know straight men in their 40s who aren't ready.- That's different.
0:53:33 > 0:53:37- How?- It's not down to them.- Not down to them?- It's the woman's choice.
0:53:37 > 0:53:41A straight man can remove any sense of responsibility. We can't.
0:53:41 > 0:53:45That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, and I've lived with you
0:53:45 > 0:53:49- for 15 years.- I think they'd be a great addition to our relationship.
0:53:49 > 0:53:53You can't have kids to add to your relationship. You have kids cos...
0:53:53 > 0:53:55- ..you wanna have kids. - Exactly.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58They're not just for Christmas. You know what you're like.
0:53:58 > 0:54:02You'll get bored and send them back to some godforsaken home.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05Don't be ridiculous. I think it would be great for us.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08But would we be great for them? Why does nobody ever ask that question?
0:54:08 > 0:54:12I'm fed up with people starting families just cos they can.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15- What about what the kids want? - You sound like Cliff Richard. Stop.
0:54:15 > 0:54:18I'm serious. "Look at us, aren't we great for having a child
0:54:18 > 0:54:22and calling it Taramasalata and adding to the population
0:54:22 > 0:54:25and filling it full of our insecurities and fears?"
0:54:25 > 0:54:29- Jesus!- If there's one good thing about being gay, it's that we are
0:54:29 > 0:54:32- environmentally friendly. - And that's it, is it?
0:54:32 > 0:54:35No, we can also dress well without fear of ridicule.
0:54:36 > 0:54:38It might help me settle down.
0:54:38 > 0:54:43You're doing it again. "Let's have kids cos it'll make my life better."
0:54:43 > 0:54:46Do you think people should have kids for purely altruistic reasons?
0:54:46 > 0:54:50- Have you been secretly reading my books?- We are all here because
0:54:50 > 0:54:54two people needed something more in their life. What's wrong with that?
0:54:54 > 0:54:58My parents didn't speak to one another for a year before I was born,
0:54:58 > 0:55:01then I came along and it got better. And they don't regret me coming
0:55:01 > 0:55:04and I certainly don't. I mean, admittedly,
0:55:04 > 0:55:07they haven't spoken to me in over ten years, but they didn't know
0:55:07 > 0:55:11- they were creating a sexual deviant. - They're cave dwellers. Bad example.
0:55:11 > 0:55:16But, my point is... that I am the result of truly selfish behaviour
0:55:16 > 0:55:18and I'm fuckin' made up about it.
0:55:19 > 0:55:22I can see.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26I love you, Brian.
0:55:26 > 0:55:28And I think having a child would be a...
0:55:28 > 0:55:31..an amazing expression of how I feel.
0:55:31 > 0:55:33I know that sounds a bit Cliff.
0:55:34 > 0:55:38I just think there are enough parents in the world.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41- That's why they're closing all the orphanages.- Look, I love kids.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44- I've got seven godchildren! - You have seven godchildren
0:55:44 > 0:55:48- cos you can't have any and people feel sorry for you.- Bollocks!
0:55:48 > 0:55:52- It's cool to have a gay influence. It's North London.- That would stop.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55- You'd be a father.- What would you be? - A father.- Two fathers? Nightmare.
0:55:55 > 0:55:59- Better than two mothers.- That is sexist.- You've met my mother.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02Fair enough.
0:56:09 > 0:56:13- We'd have to move.- You're thinking about it?- I think we'd have to move.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16- But you don't think it's out of the question.- I dunno. I'll have a think.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19Well, that's all I ask, Bri.
0:56:21 > 0:56:23- Are you sure you wanna do this? - No, I'm not sure.
0:56:23 > 0:56:28- It just keeps playing on my mind. - There are things to consider.
0:56:28 > 0:56:32- Of course.- One of us would have to give up work.
0:56:32 > 0:56:35- Would we? Why? - Well, of course.
0:56:35 > 0:56:38- You can't bring up a baby if you're both working.- Why?
0:56:38 > 0:56:41- People do it all the time.- Look at the little wankers they produce.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45If you commit to having a child, one of you has to stay at home.
0:56:45 > 0:56:48- I had no idea you were so old-fashioned.- I just don't believe
0:56:48 > 0:56:52- you can do a good job if you're both as interested in your work.- Oh.
0:56:52 > 0:56:55- No, maybe you're right. - No, it's just how I feel.
0:56:58 > 0:57:02- So, how much do you earn? - You know how much I earn.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04- Considerably less than me. - Yeah.
0:57:04 > 0:57:07So, then, I suppose it would have to be you.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11You cannot make judgements on a financial basis. That's ridiculous.
0:57:11 > 0:57:15I bring in almost twice what you do. If we're gonna support a family,
0:57:15 > 0:57:18- by your reckoning, you'd have to give up work.- That's ridiculous!- Why?
0:57:18 > 0:57:22Cos work is about more than money. It's about who you are.
0:57:22 > 0:57:27- Well, who are you?- I'm a restaurant critic.- Oh. I'm a financial advisor.
0:57:27 > 0:57:30I get more pleasure out of my work so you should give up work.
0:57:30 > 0:57:34Without my income, we would be out of nappies within a fortnight.
0:57:34 > 0:57:37- Without my job I'd be out of my mind in a week.- It has to be about money.
0:57:37 > 0:57:41- If I stopped work, how would we cope? - I'd review more restaurants.
0:57:41 > 0:57:44It takes you almost a week to do one.
0:57:44 > 0:57:47Food is an art, Billy, something you will clearly never understand.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49No, I understand, I understand.
0:57:49 > 0:57:53Your art is much more important than my... What is it you call it?
0:57:53 > 0:57:56Crass pursuit of the impossible financial nirvana.
0:57:56 > 0:58:00- You're such a twat at times.- You're a twat at others. We're suited.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03- Are we gonna look into this, or not? - Yeah.
0:58:04 > 0:58:08- If you give up your work. - Well, no way. I love what I do.
0:58:08 > 0:58:10Yeah, well, so do I.
0:58:19 > 0:58:22I'd give up all that, that's what I'd give up.
0:58:24 > 0:58:26All what?
0:58:33 > 0:58:37- You would? - I would.
0:58:37 > 0:58:39I promise.
0:58:39 > 0:58:42So I give up my job, and you give up the casual sex.
0:58:42 > 0:58:45- But there's still a problem. - What?
0:58:46 > 0:58:49I don't want kids.
0:58:50 > 0:58:52I just want you.
0:58:57 > 0:58:59I want both.
0:59:08 > 0:59:10We'll see.
0:59:34 > 0:59:38- Do you fancy an ice-cream? - Mm, alright.
0:59:42 > 0:59:45Be back in a minute.
1:00:31 > 1:00:34- Tell me about your husband. - Oh.
1:00:34 > 1:00:36I mean, you know, if you want to.
1:00:36 > 1:00:38Well, what do you want to know?
1:00:38 > 1:00:41Well, I don't know. What was he like?
1:00:41 > 1:00:46He was... decent. No one had a bad word to say about him.
1:00:46 > 1:00:49- Even you? - Even me.
1:00:49 > 1:00:52Tommy loved spending time...
1:00:54 > 1:00:57He was never very big on plans. The future.
1:00:57 > 1:00:59He said the future was nothing.
1:00:59 > 1:01:02That what we had at any given moment was what we had.
1:01:02 > 1:01:05He was a regular philosopher, then?
1:01:05 > 1:01:08I suppose he was in a way.
1:01:08 > 1:01:10I was more of a dreamer.
1:01:13 > 1:01:16I liked him. Mostly.
1:01:16 > 1:01:20Well, that's a big achievement. You know, after all those years.
1:01:20 > 1:01:22And you liked Teresa.
1:01:24 > 1:01:27Yes, but I couldn't help... wondering.
1:01:33 > 1:01:35Me, too.
1:01:45 > 1:01:48Albert Camus. "L'Etranger".
1:01:48 > 1:01:50- Oh-la-la. - It's French, right?
1:01:50 > 1:01:53- Er, are you French? - Yes, I am.
1:01:53 > 1:01:56- Oh, you are French? - Yes.
1:01:56 > 1:01:59- I went to France once. - Don't even think about it. Don't!
1:01:59 > 1:02:02- OK.- Go away. - Alright, I'll go, then.
1:02:02 > 1:02:05- Allez. Allez!- I'm going. - Alright. Degage!
1:02:05 > 1:02:08- I'm going.- Degage! - OK! Alright, alright, alright.
1:02:08 > 1:02:10You look nice, though, when you're angry.
1:02:10 > 1:02:12Degage!
1:02:19 > 1:02:21I saw a film once.
1:02:21 > 1:02:24It was one of those, er,
1:02:24 > 1:02:26"boy meets girl, boy loves girl,
1:02:26 > 1:02:31boy marries girl, girl meets another boy,
1:02:31 > 1:02:34girl leaves boy, boy goes mad
1:02:34 > 1:02:37and boy kills other boy and girl,
1:02:37 > 1:02:40and then boy goes to prison" kind of film.
1:02:40 > 1:02:43It was all, er, very stressful.
1:02:43 > 1:02:45Sounds it.
1:02:46 > 1:02:49I'm not sure I get the point.
1:02:49 > 1:02:53Well, I don't know, but I think I found a certain comfort
1:02:53 > 1:02:56in not being that boy.
1:02:56 > 1:02:58Or that girl.
1:02:58 > 1:03:01It's all extremely complicated.
1:03:01 > 1:03:04Tommy was right. It's a minefield.
1:03:04 > 1:03:07I think maybe it's good.
1:03:07 > 1:03:10Y'know, things that are completely impossible to understand.
1:03:10 > 1:03:15All the best things in life are utterly indecipherable.
1:03:15 > 1:03:19I mean, Tommy loved collecting first day covers.
1:03:19 > 1:03:22I would ask him, what is it about coloured envelopes
1:03:22 > 1:03:25that so intrigued him. He could never explain it.
1:03:25 > 1:03:28He said he liked them because they kept on coming,
1:03:28 > 1:03:30and his collection got bigger.
1:03:30 > 1:03:33It baffled me for years.
1:03:33 > 1:03:35And then there came a point
1:03:35 > 1:03:38when I began to look forward to them arriving
1:03:38 > 1:03:40almost as much as he did.
1:03:40 > 1:03:43You see, once you commit yourself to something,
1:03:43 > 1:03:46however bizarre it may seem to other people,
1:03:46 > 1:03:50you kind of owe it to yourself to enjoy the experience.
1:03:52 > 1:03:54(SIGHS)
1:03:54 > 1:03:57I hope it's all been worth it.
1:03:57 > 1:04:00All those choices we make.
1:04:01 > 1:04:04You see what we've done?
1:04:04 > 1:04:06We've talked about our partners.
1:04:07 > 1:04:12I didn't think we'd do that, you know, if we... met.
1:04:27 > 1:04:30- Ooh. - Oh. (CHUCKLES)
1:04:33 > 1:04:35Well, this should, er...
1:04:38 > 1:04:41- Do it? - Erm, well...
1:04:41 > 1:04:44Yes, it should.
1:04:46 > 1:04:48It's perfect, yeah.
1:04:52 > 1:04:55(BOTH LAUGH)
1:05:08 > 1:05:10(SIGHS)
1:05:13 > 1:05:16Ooh, I rather assumed....
1:05:16 > 1:05:19- But if you don't... - What is it?
1:05:19 > 1:05:22- Chateauneuf-du-Pape, '93. - Good year.
1:05:22 > 1:05:25Do you think?
1:05:26 > 1:05:29Oh, I don't know.
1:05:50 > 1:05:53- Whoops. - Oh.- No, no.
1:05:56 > 1:05:58(BOTH LAUGH)
1:06:13 > 1:06:15Shall I be Mummy?
1:06:17 > 1:06:19Why not?
1:06:23 > 1:06:27- Just hope it lives up to its billing. - What is its billing?
1:06:27 > 1:06:30Well, I'm led to understand that this particular year
1:06:30 > 1:06:33is light on the palate, a little oaky,
1:06:33 > 1:06:35but with an affectionate aftertaste.
1:06:37 > 1:06:39Mm. Oh, oh... Erm...
1:06:40 > 1:06:42Thank you.
1:06:46 > 1:06:48Cheers.
1:06:53 > 1:06:54Mm.
1:07:01 > 1:07:03- Very smooth. - Eh?
1:07:04 > 1:07:10- (COUGHS) Yes. Do you not think? - Smooth, indeed.
1:07:10 > 1:07:14- Cheese? - Er, yes, please.
1:07:14 > 1:07:17Although I should probably keep a close eye on it at my age.
1:07:17 > 1:07:20I know what you mean.
1:07:20 > 1:07:24I-I didn't mean I know what you mean about you having to keep a close...
1:07:24 > 1:07:27I mean I do, as well. Not that you do.
1:07:27 > 1:07:31No, I just put on weight walking past a boulangerie.
1:07:31 > 1:07:35- A boulangerie. - Sorry, it's French for bakery.
1:07:36 > 1:07:38Yes, I know.
1:07:43 > 1:07:47Jeremy was telling me about your book collection.
1:07:47 > 1:07:49- Was he? - Yes.
1:07:49 > 1:07:53He says you can get hold of any book in print
1:07:53 > 1:07:56with 48 hours' notice.
1:07:56 > 1:07:59Yes, well, I'm not a collector, I'm a dealer.
1:07:59 > 1:08:01- Oh, a dealer. - Yes, yes.
1:08:01 > 1:08:04I buy and sell books. Jeremy likes to pretend to himself
1:08:04 > 1:08:07that it's some sort of hobby of mine or something.
1:08:07 > 1:08:10He did speak very highly of your "collection". (LAUGHS)
1:08:10 > 1:08:14Yes, well, it's just his little... joke, I suppose.
1:08:18 > 1:08:22- How about you? - Me?
1:08:22 > 1:08:25Oh, I work for a charity.
1:08:25 > 1:08:28- Very worthy. - Isn't it?
1:08:31 > 1:08:33I'm sorry, I was just agreeing with you.
1:08:33 > 1:08:37- Do you agree with everyone? - No, of course not.
1:08:37 > 1:08:39I was being self-deprecating
1:08:39 > 1:08:43but, as it happens, charity work is very hard and very worthwhile.
1:08:43 > 1:08:46Yes, must be. What sort of people do you help?
1:08:46 > 1:08:49- What sort of people? - Yes, I mean, erm,
1:08:49 > 1:08:54- poor people, starving people, black people?- Black people?- Yes.
1:08:54 > 1:08:56You think black people need help?
1:08:56 > 1:08:59- Well... - I think you might need some help.
1:09:00 > 1:09:03Well, that's very possibly true, but I meant Africans, not...
1:09:03 > 1:09:06I meant Africans, not black people as a race.
1:09:07 > 1:09:11- You're wondering whether I was just being racist.- No, not whether. Why.
1:09:11 > 1:09:14- Is that racist? - Yes.
1:09:14 > 1:09:17- It's so tricky nowadays, don't you think?- Tricky?
1:09:17 > 1:09:22I mean, last week I was told off for referring to my lovely newsagent
1:09:22 > 1:09:25- as coloured. - Instead of Asian?
1:09:25 > 1:09:27Asian? No, he's black.
1:09:28 > 1:09:31I think you may have been racist.
1:09:32 > 1:09:34Do you?
1:09:34 > 1:09:37Assuming he was Asian because he was a newsagent,
1:09:37 > 1:09:40when, in fact, he's from Somalia.
1:09:48 > 1:09:51- My mother was asking me about work. - Uh-huh.
1:09:51 > 1:09:54I said it was good. She didn't believe me.
1:09:54 > 1:09:57She's convinced I have no idea who I am or what I want.
1:09:57 > 1:09:59All mothers think like that.
1:09:59 > 1:10:02It's what connects them to their children.
1:10:02 > 1:10:05Well, I know she doesn't really understand what I do,
1:10:05 > 1:10:07but she won't let it go.
1:10:07 > 1:10:09- She has no idea what you do? - No.
1:10:09 > 1:10:13All she needs to know is that I love what I do.
1:10:13 > 1:10:16My point exactly. But she's proud of you.
1:10:17 > 1:10:20- How do you know? - Well, you told me.
1:10:20 > 1:10:23Hey, I tell you a lot of things. I'm like that.
1:10:23 > 1:10:25- And that's why I love you. - I know.
1:10:25 > 1:10:30Excuse me, mate, erm, can I get a light, please?
1:10:30 > 1:10:32Yeah, sure.
1:10:33 > 1:10:36Very nice.
1:10:36 > 1:10:39- I'm sorry? - I-I said very nice.
1:10:39 > 1:10:42- What's very nice? - She looks very nice.
1:10:43 > 1:10:47- Do you want to fuck off? - Erm...
1:10:47 > 1:10:51How dare you fucking talk to me like that? Go on, fuck off!
1:10:51 > 1:10:56Erm, sorry. I'm not having a very good day today. I'm sorry.
1:10:57 > 1:10:59Just leave.
1:11:05 > 1:11:07Can you believe that?
1:11:08 > 1:11:10What makes someone think it's remotely OK
1:11:10 > 1:11:14to walk up to a man and say, "Your girlfriend's very nice"?
1:11:14 > 1:11:16"Very nice"?
1:11:16 > 1:11:18Unbelievable.
1:11:18 > 1:11:20There should be a law.
1:11:20 > 1:11:23Oh, I've missed you, Louis.
1:11:23 > 1:11:26Yeah? You, too.
1:11:36 > 1:11:38(BOTH EXHALE)
1:11:45 > 1:11:48After finally climbing this infernal hill,
1:11:48 > 1:11:52after all those years of thinking about it, what you're saying is,
1:11:52 > 1:11:54the view is better from where we were.
1:11:56 > 1:11:58Well, on reflection, yes.
1:12:00 > 1:12:02I think you're right.
1:12:03 > 1:12:07It may not be as high, but it did seem clearer.
1:12:07 > 1:12:10I mean, maybe it's just what we're used to.
1:12:11 > 1:12:13I've never been a fan of change.
1:12:13 > 1:12:16- Never been a risk taker. - Apparently not.
1:12:18 > 1:12:22I'll never be Thierry Henry, you know?
1:12:22 > 1:12:25Well, that's good. It means you'll never be responsible
1:12:25 > 1:12:30- for my champagne-infused death. - Why do you like me, Esther?
1:12:31 > 1:12:35- Why? - Yeah. Why do you miss me?
1:12:36 > 1:12:39What is it about me that makes you pleased to see me?
1:12:39 > 1:12:43- Are you fishing for compliments? - No. I'm asking for them.
1:12:45 > 1:12:47OK.
1:12:49 > 1:12:52- I like you because you're honest. - Mm-hm.
1:12:52 > 1:12:57I like you because you know how to listen, and you know when not to.
1:12:57 > 1:12:59I like you because
1:12:59 > 1:13:02when you take my hand and when you touch my neck,
1:13:02 > 1:13:05you're not just touching, you're...
1:13:07 > 1:13:10I don't know. I like you.
1:13:11 > 1:13:14- Do you wanna know why I like you? - I don't know.
1:13:14 > 1:13:19I think sometimes it's good to never quite know. It's good to guess.
1:13:19 > 1:13:23- What? Keeps it interesting?- The most important thing in any relationship,
1:13:23 > 1:13:27- no matter what kind.- So you don't wanna know why I like you?
1:13:27 > 1:13:29Well, of course I do. Do you think I'm mad?
1:13:29 > 1:13:32- Good, cos I'm gonna tell you. - Go on.
1:13:32 > 1:13:36I like you because you don't try and change me.
1:13:36 > 1:13:38You just let me be myself.
1:13:41 > 1:13:43- Is that it? - That's it.
1:13:45 > 1:13:47There's nothing about my, er,
1:13:47 > 1:13:50- wonderful sense of humour? - Ah.
1:13:50 > 1:13:54My long legs? My sensitive touch?
1:13:54 > 1:13:57- My witty repartee?- No, those are the reasons I love you.
1:13:57 > 1:13:59- We're talking about like. - What?
1:13:59 > 1:14:02It's much easier to love someone than it is to like them.
1:14:02 > 1:14:05OK.
1:14:05 > 1:14:08Yeah, I like that. Those things I said, they're why I love you,
1:14:08 > 1:14:12- they're not why I like you.- OK. - Do you want to know why I like you?
1:14:12 > 1:14:15- No, I think I know. - I think you do.
1:14:26 > 1:14:31- When do I see you next?- You tell me. We're not done yet, are we?
1:14:31 > 1:14:35I'm sorry. I've got things I need to sort out.
1:14:38 > 1:14:42Erm, it's 150 now. The agency changed the rates.
1:14:45 > 1:14:49- Worth every penny. - I can't wait for Barbados.
1:14:49 > 1:14:53- I can't wait for next time. - Maybe we could have sex.
1:14:53 > 1:14:55That's not how this works.
1:14:55 > 1:14:57I know.
1:15:30 > 1:15:32So, you never married?
1:15:32 > 1:15:34No.
1:15:35 > 1:15:38- I was married. - Yes.
1:15:38 > 1:15:42It was the most wonderful three and a half months of my life.
1:15:42 > 1:15:44Three and a half months?
1:15:44 > 1:15:47Well, you've gotta give it a chance.
1:15:48 > 1:15:51(BOTH LAUGH)
1:16:03 > 1:16:07- So, has there never been anyone? - Oh, yes, I'm not a...
1:16:07 > 1:16:13(LAUGHS) Relax. I'm talking about love, not sex.
1:16:13 > 1:16:16Have you ever been in love?
1:16:18 > 1:16:21No.
1:16:21 > 1:16:25Never? Not even as a teenager?
1:16:25 > 1:16:28No, absolutely not.
1:16:29 > 1:16:32Does that seem a little odd?
1:16:32 > 1:16:34Odd?
1:16:34 > 1:16:37Well,... a little, yes.
1:16:37 > 1:16:40I suppose it is. I mean, everywhere I look,
1:16:40 > 1:16:44people seem to be falling in love or talking about it or claiming it.
1:16:44 > 1:16:46Playing it out.
1:16:51 > 1:16:53Playing it out?
1:16:55 > 1:16:57I like that.
1:17:02 > 1:17:04Do you think I could have another...?
1:17:04 > 1:17:06Ooh, yes.
1:17:06 > 1:17:10I think it is living up to its billing after all.
1:17:10 > 1:17:12I'm... I'm glad.
1:17:14 > 1:17:17I never wanted children.
1:17:17 > 1:17:20- Children? - Yes.
1:17:20 > 1:17:22- Children? - Yes.
1:17:22 > 1:17:25They're sort of small adults that we love and adore,
1:17:25 > 1:17:29- until they grow up and leave us. - No, me neither. I hated being one,
1:17:29 > 1:17:33- and I've never met one who can hold a decent conversation.- Oh, indeed.
1:17:33 > 1:17:36I've never met a parent that can, either.
1:17:36 > 1:17:40- I hate what happens to my friends when they become parents.- Jeremy.
1:17:40 > 1:17:42Oh, God, yes.
1:17:42 > 1:17:44- (LAUGHS) - Jeremy.
1:17:44 > 1:17:48They invited me round for dinner the other night. I was back home by 8.30.
1:17:48 > 1:17:52(LAUGHS) Is it me,...
1:17:53 > 1:17:57..or is their son the spitting image of that, er,
1:17:57 > 1:18:01- little chap from "Fantasy Island"? - (IN FRENCH ACCENT) The plane, boss!
1:18:01 > 1:18:04- (LAUGHS) Yes. That's him. - (LAUGHS)
1:18:05 > 1:18:08You're so right. I knew he reminded me of someone.
1:18:08 > 1:18:12I was always veering towards Danny DeVito, though.
1:18:12 > 1:18:14(LAUGHS)
1:18:25 > 1:18:28Yes, I can see that.
1:18:28 > 1:18:30Could you love Danny DeVito?
1:18:39 > 1:18:42I'd like to have a child.
1:18:43 > 1:18:45Me, too.
1:18:52 > 1:18:55They're strange, aren't they?
1:18:55 > 1:18:58- Well, Jeremy's is. - (LAUGHS)
1:18:58 > 1:18:59No.
1:18:59 > 1:19:03- Blind dates. - Oh.
1:19:03 > 1:19:07- Yeah. - This is my first.
1:19:08 > 1:19:10- Really? - Mm.
1:19:11 > 1:19:14- How old are you? - How old?
1:19:14 > 1:19:18- Sorry, that is a terrible question. - It's fine.
1:19:18 > 1:19:21- I'm 43. - I'm 41.
1:19:21 > 1:19:23Well, you have...
1:19:24 > 1:19:26You have time.
1:19:28 > 1:19:31I think we both know that's something I don't have.
1:19:33 > 1:19:36You have some time.
1:19:37 > 1:19:39Some.
1:19:42 > 1:19:44Shall we...
1:19:45 > 1:19:47..walk, or...?
1:19:48 > 1:19:52- Walk? - We don't have to.
1:19:53 > 1:19:56No, no.
1:19:57 > 1:20:00- A walk would be... - (DISTANT VOICES)
1:20:06 > 1:20:08A walk...
1:20:10 > 1:20:12..would be great, yes.
1:20:18 > 1:20:23You know what? I ought to get back to the shop soon.
1:20:23 > 1:20:25Really? Oh.
1:20:27 > 1:20:30- What about the walk? - Very nice meeting you.
1:20:30 > 1:20:33Oh. Er, you, too.
1:20:34 > 1:20:38- Are you OK? - OK? Yeah. I'm fine.
1:20:40 > 1:20:42Time just seemed to run away with me.
1:20:43 > 1:20:46- With us. - Hm.
1:20:48 > 1:20:53Bloke with sunglasses and a blazer, and she's off. Anyone but me.
1:21:27 > 1:21:29Well, I'll tell you something.
1:21:29 > 1:21:32The view may be slightly disappointing,
1:21:32 > 1:21:36but it's been nice to spend some time up here with the kites.
1:21:36 > 1:21:38Hasn't it?
1:21:39 > 1:21:43You know, I think Tommy was right all along.
1:21:43 > 1:21:48No point in wishing your life away with your head in the clouds.
1:21:50 > 1:21:54And I think the walk has done us both good.
1:21:55 > 1:21:57So, how about a dance?
1:21:59 > 1:22:02I don't think you're the person I thought you were.
1:22:02 > 1:22:05- Oh? - No, it's a good thing.
1:22:06 > 1:22:10- You've surprised me.- Well, I don't know what to think about that.
1:22:10 > 1:22:13No, really, it's fine. It's just that...
1:22:15 > 1:22:18Look, I'm no dancer, never have been.
1:22:18 > 1:22:20Oh, me neither.
1:22:20 > 1:22:23Maybe we could just have a cup of tea.
1:22:23 > 1:22:25Now?
1:22:25 > 1:22:28Well, I could break the habit of a lifetime,
1:22:28 > 1:22:32come here on a Wednesday?
1:22:33 > 1:22:35You know, take a chance.
1:22:37 > 1:22:40- Eddie? - Yes?
1:22:40 > 1:22:43You know, I think I might change my routine as well.
1:22:44 > 1:22:48I think I might visit Tommy's grave on Wednesday.
1:22:49 > 1:22:52We had a good time.
1:22:52 > 1:22:55I never realised that.
1:23:02 > 1:23:05Well, I've always felt that Thursdays
1:23:05 > 1:23:08have a better feel about them, anyway.
1:23:09 > 1:23:12You know, back of the week broken and all that.
1:23:12 > 1:23:14I mean, I'd very much like to...
1:23:16 > 1:23:19You know, there are other hills to climb.
1:23:21 > 1:23:24Heath's a huge place.
1:23:24 > 1:23:26Endless...
1:23:26 > 1:23:28..possibilities.
1:24:02 > 1:24:04So, it's just you and me.
1:24:05 > 1:24:09I know. I know.
1:24:11 > 1:24:13(SIGHS)
1:24:16 > 1:24:18I know.
1:24:18 > 1:24:20Hey.
1:24:20 > 1:24:22I love you, too.
1:24:51 > 1:24:53You cheeky bugger!
1:24:57 > 1:24:59Come here.
1:25:03 > 1:25:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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