Starsky and Hutch

0:00:02 > 0:00:04LIGHT-HEARTED WHISTLING AND PIANO PLAYING

0:00:04 > 0:00:08This film contains some strong language.

0:00:08 > 0:00:15# You know I can't smile without you

0:00:15 > 0:00:19# I can't smile without you

0:00:19 > 0:00:24# I can't laugh and I can't sing

0:00:24 > 0:00:27# I'm findin' it hard to do anything

0:00:27 > 0:00:33# You see, I feel sad when you're sad

0:00:33 > 0:00:37# I feel glad when you're glad

0:00:37 > 0:00:42# If you only knew what I'm goin' through

0:00:42 > 0:00:48# I just can't smile without you

0:00:49 > 0:00:54# You came along just like a song

0:00:54 > 0:00:56# And brightened my day... #

0:00:56 > 0:00:58WOMAN: Don't stress. Just relax.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01MAN: I don't understand. I understand you can lose keys,

0:01:01 > 0:01:03you know, you can lose your wallet. H-How do you lose a plane?

0:01:03 > 0:01:05MAN 2: What do you want me to do?

0:01:05 > 0:01:06We got three out of four planes in.

0:01:06 > 0:01:08That's still a lot of coke.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Now, see that? That's the kind of winning attitude

0:01:10 > 0:01:12that'll take this enterprise to the top.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15In all fairness, Reese, it...it wasn't his fault.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18W-W-Wait, what are you, his attorney? Why are you in the conversation?

0:01:18 > 0:01:21Come on, g... I'm kidding!

0:01:21 > 0:01:23I'm just kidding with you. He loves to joke.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25Terrence, is absolutely right.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27I mean, hell, three out of four ain't bad.

0:01:29 > 0:01:31You know what? Let's celebrate.

0:01:31 > 0:01:32Who wants a beer?! Great!

0:01:32 > 0:01:33OK.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh...

0:01:36 > 0:01:37Baby!

0:01:37 > 0:01:41Coke, it costs money. Planes, they cost money.

0:01:41 > 0:01:45This yacht, this perm, my kid's braces, it all costs money.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Do you think Kitty's free? Huh? What?! Kitty, turn around.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50Wha...? Turn around!

0:01:50 > 0:01:53Reese, please put the gun down.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Wha...? Now, the next time

0:02:00 > 0:02:04that a plane goes down, you better be on it.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Will you do my back, please?

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Sure, babe. Am I tanning weird?

0:02:09 > 0:02:11No, you look good. Honestly. You're bronzing.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE

0:02:20 > 0:02:24MAN: There's no such thing as a petty crime.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26No minor infractions.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28There's only the law.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Freeze! Bay City PD!

0:02:35 > 0:02:38'That's me in the leather jacket and tight jeans.'

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Whoa! 'See that guy I'm chasing?

0:02:40 > 0:02:43'I hate him, and I'm gonna do everything in my power to stop him.'

0:02:43 > 0:02:46You want to play? Let's play.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Cos it's my job to stop him.'

0:02:50 > 0:02:51HE GRUNTS

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Oh, goddamn...

0:02:53 > 0:02:56'And the city pays me a damn good salary to do my job.'

0:02:58 > 0:03:01'Besides, he crossed the line...

0:03:01 > 0:03:04'and in Bay City, when you cross the line...'

0:03:04 > 0:03:05HE YELLS

0:03:05 > 0:03:08HE GRUNTS

0:03:08 > 0:03:10'... Your nuts are mine. '

0:03:10 > 0:03:12I said freeze!

0:03:12 > 0:03:17'My name is David Starsky, and I'm a cop.'

0:03:18 > 0:03:23MAN 2: 'I've always had this theory about police work

0:03:23 > 0:03:24'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.'

0:03:26 > 0:03:28TYRES SCREECH

0:03:30 > 0:03:31No, no, no, no!

0:03:31 > 0:03:32WOMAN YELLS

0:03:32 > 0:03:34YELLS AND GRUNTS

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Put the money in there.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42'Too many cops worry about the wrong thing - crime.

0:03:42 > 0:03:46'Not me, though. I'm looking out for numero uno.'

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Hey, old timer, put this on Dallas.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Come on, let's go! >

0:03:52 > 0:03:54'I'm just a realist, that's all.

0:03:54 > 0:03:58'And besides, you have any idea how little the City pays us?

0:03:58 > 0:03:59SIRENS BLARE

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Freeze! Bay City PD!

0:04:01 > 0:04:03Whoa, whoa! Take it easy!

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Guys, come on.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08I'm undercover here.

0:04:11 > 0:04:12Geez.

0:04:13 > 0:04:18'My name is Ken Hutchinson, and I'm a cop.'

0:04:18 > 0:04:20WHISPERING: Where'd they come from?

0:04:20 > 0:04:21HE SIGHS

0:04:24 > 0:04:27MAN 3: Jesus Christ, Starsky!

0:04:27 > 0:04:29You fired three rounds into a crowded intersection.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32We got an old man with a broken hip, and some asshole

0:04:32 > 0:04:35wants me to buy a new top for his Caddy?

0:04:35 > 0:04:39That purse had seven dollars in it.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41OK, want my badge? Here, take it. Fine.

0:04:41 > 0:04:45Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. I was just making a point.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47David, David...

0:04:47 > 0:04:52Your mother was one of the finest cops Bay City ever seen.

0:04:52 > 0:04:5522 years on the force with the same partner.

0:04:55 > 0:05:01YOU have had 12 partners over the past four years.

0:05:01 > 0:05:02She died a legend.

0:05:02 > 0:05:06I am not my mother!

0:05:06 > 0:05:08I'm sorry.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11Uh, Detective Hutchinson is here.

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Send him in. ..Have a seat.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17BOTH LAUGH How you doing, Captain?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19I believe you two know each other.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21Yeah, a little bit.

0:05:21 > 0:05:22How you doing?

0:05:22 > 0:05:23Yeah, right.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27Hutch...you've got a lot of explaining to do.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30I know. I understand. Look, I was trying to infiltrate one of the East Side gangs

0:05:30 > 0:05:33and work my way up to the big fish. It's pretty simple.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35You were robbing a bookie.

0:05:35 > 0:05:36That's right.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38You've robbed seven bookies in six months.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41You haven't filed a report, turned in any money or arrested anybody.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45How can I arrest them? They'll know I'm a cop. I wouldn't worry.

0:05:45 > 0:05:46You won't be mistaken for a real cop.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49Oh, really? Hey, why don't you do me a favour

0:05:49 > 0:05:52and go get yourself another perm and let the grown-ups talk.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54For your information, my hair is naturally curly.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56No, it's not. Yes, it is.

0:05:56 > 0:05:57That's a perm job all the way.

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Touch it!

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Hey! Why are you touching him?

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Jesus!

0:06:09 > 0:06:11You know something?

0:06:11 > 0:06:14You two deserve each other.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Make nice.

0:06:18 > 0:06:19You're partners.

0:06:22 > 0:06:23REESE: You're crazy.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25MAN: No, I'm not.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27REESE: I don't know what you're so upset about.

0:06:27 > 0:06:31The guy cost us two hundred grand. A thank-you might be more appropriate in this particular situation.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34Who cares about two hundred grand? What if they link us to the murder?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37They will not link us to the murder, all right? You don't know that.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39Will you let it go, please?

0:06:39 > 0:06:41Jesus. Take a lude or something. Calm down.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44I did and I'm still pissed. OK, fine. Fine, fine.

0:06:44 > 0:06:50Look, I'm sorry. I promise, I'm not going to kill Terrence again. Now pull it together. Let's go.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Gentlemen, I apologise about the delay,

0:06:53 > 0:06:55but I promise you what we have

0:06:55 > 0:06:57is worth the wait.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00It looks like cocaine.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02That's because it IS cocaine.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04With a twist.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08You see, we've managed to find a way to alter the cell structure

0:07:08 > 0:07:11of the coca plant, giving it properties

0:07:11 > 0:07:13that heighten the perfluoralkylation process,

0:07:13 > 0:07:15creating a new kind of diazomethane.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17What are you talking about?

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Gets a little complicated after that.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Excuse me.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24So, do you get extra high or what?

0:07:24 > 0:07:28Actually, it has all the same effects as regular cocaine.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32Well, if it's the same, well, why are we here?

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Canis familiaris - the German shepherd.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Its nose has over 220 million scent receptors.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42It can detect smells that even the most advanced technology in the world cannot.

0:07:42 > 0:07:43Now, for example:

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Ivan... Search!

0:07:48 > 0:07:51GROWLS AND BARKS

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Ivan, stop!

0:07:58 > 0:08:02What do you got? You holding? Huh?

0:08:05 > 0:08:08He brought old coke.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12This is new coke.

0:08:12 > 0:08:14As far as a dog's concerned, there's nothing there.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18100% undetectable, pure cocaine.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22Got no coke smell. Same coke ride.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Mmm. Tastes kind of sweet.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27If this shit wasn't illegal, we'd be up for the Nobel prize.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29ALL LAUGH

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Our initial run pumped out about two tons of this stuff,

0:08:31 > 0:08:34and it will be available for your purchase in about three weeks.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36You boys know who to call.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Ivan!

0:08:41 > 0:08:43MAN: You don't understand.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47They're not like you. They're criminals.

0:08:47 > 0:08:51Look, I know we all got to make living,

0:08:51 > 0:08:53but these guys,

0:08:53 > 0:08:56they are dealing hard drugs right in front of my shop.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00I can dig what you're saying, Mr Chowdury.

0:09:00 > 0:09:04First of all, I want to thank you for coming in today.

0:09:04 > 0:09:05Of course.

0:09:05 > 0:09:08Those gentlemen you speak of,

0:09:08 > 0:09:10they'll no longer be a problem.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12You have my word.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14This is my neighbourhood,

0:09:14 > 0:09:17people tend to forget that.

0:09:17 > 0:09:20Mm. Beebee, make sure he gets home safely.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Yeah, boss. Thank you very much, Huggy.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24You are a great man.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27Be gone, little Indian.

0:09:27 > 0:09:28BEEBEE: Let's go, little man.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31Come on. Taking up time.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33This neighbourhood is in desperate need of some help.

0:09:33 > 0:09:34It's cold-blooded, Daddy.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Who's next?

0:09:36 > 0:09:37You got Hutch waiting outside.

0:09:37 > 0:09:41What you got my man waiting outside for?

0:09:41 > 0:09:42He brought some extra fuzz with him.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45So what? You go get him, and get him in here now.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49What, you've never run an errand on the clock before?

0:09:49 > 0:09:52No, I take care of my personal business after work,

0:09:52 > 0:09:54when the taxpayers aren't paying me to protect them.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57You've never stopped and bought yourself a cup of coffee?

0:09:57 > 0:10:00DOOR OPENS I bring a thermos.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03OK, Hutch, he'll see you now.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06Wait here, I'll be back in five minutes.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Second door on the right.

0:10:14 > 0:10:15How you doing?

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Hi, Hutch.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24KNOCKS ON DOOR

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Hey, look what the wind blew in.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28Huggy Bear.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Hey, I want you to meet my new partner, David Starsky.

0:10:31 > 0:10:32Hey, how you doing?

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Hey, nobody touches the Bear.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Have a seat. ..Hutch, you'll have the usual?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41You know it, and make it a double.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Leon, get my boy a Jack and Tab. And double that.

0:10:44 > 0:10:45LEON: You got it, boss.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48I'll get a, er, seltzer with a little lime if you got it.

0:10:48 > 0:10:49I don't got it.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Or not. It's cool. I'm good.

0:10:52 > 0:10:55Listen, I just came by to apologise for what happened in Chinatown.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57Let me tell you something, I was as surprised as you were.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Don't sweat it, baby. I wasn't surprised.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01I ain't never surprised.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03THEY LAUGH

0:11:03 > 0:11:08STARSKY: Hey, Champ? You got a permit for that weapon you're carrying?

0:11:08 > 0:11:11HUTCH: Starsky, please. STARSKY: Huh?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14Uh, no, I don't. THEY CHUCKLE

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Yeah, me neither.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18THEY LAUGH

0:11:18 > 0:11:20I'm sorry, did I say something that was funny?

0:11:20 > 0:11:22THEY CONTINUE LAUGHING

0:11:22 > 0:11:23Come on, stop it. He's kidding.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26No, I want to see permits right now, or I'm confiscating those weapons.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28HUGGY: Hey, hey, hey. Slow up, man.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Around here, we govern ourselves.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Think of us like, um, Luxembourg.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35You dig? No, I don't dig.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39You see, Luxembourg's a constitutional monarchy, an independent sovereign state,

0:11:39 > 0:11:41established after the Treaty of Vienna.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45LEON: Technically, it's a part of Europe, but they govern themselves;

0:11:45 > 0:11:46like us.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48Just like us.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53HUTCH: All right, enough, OK?

0:11:54 > 0:11:55Oh, shit! Whoa, whoa, hold up!

0:11:55 > 0:11:58Hold up! Just chill out!

0:11:58 > 0:11:59Chill! watch yourself!

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Oh, no. Hell, no! Jesus!

0:12:01 > 0:12:02What happened? Did he shoot Corky?

0:12:02 > 0:12:06Your boy shot his tail off. Corky lost his tail?

0:12:06 > 0:12:08You should keep that thing in a terrarium.

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Man, what the hell is a terrarium?

0:12:10 > 0:12:12What the fuck is a terrarium?

0:12:12 > 0:12:14A terrarium is an artificial ecosystem.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16It's designed to simulate Corky's natural habitat.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19Well, I can dig that, but I say we shoot him in the ass.

0:12:19 > 0:12:20Oh, hell, yeah. An eye for an eye.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22Whoa, take it easy. ..Huggy, help me out here.

0:12:22 > 0:12:27Hey, hey, hey, slow up, fellas. An iguana can lose his tail and grow it back. He regenerates.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29That's how he escapes his predator.

0:12:29 > 0:12:33Yeah, it's true. It's a defence mechanism. I read it in a magazine.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38So, him shooting Corky's tail off, and us shooting him in the ass,

0:12:38 > 0:12:40it really ain't the same thing.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43HUGGY: Nah, the punishment don't fit the crime.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45And besides, it was an accident, right?

0:12:45 > 0:12:48Right.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50So, we're cool.

0:12:50 > 0:12:51We're always cool, breeze.

0:12:51 > 0:12:52Lower your pieces.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Whew.

0:12:58 > 0:13:02RADIO ANNOUNCER: 'Good morning, Bay City, you are tuned in to KBay, 93.3 on your dial.

0:13:02 > 0:13:06'This next tune is number eight on the charts, and number one in our hearts.'

0:13:06 > 0:13:08# Old days

0:13:08 > 0:13:11# Good times I remember... #

0:13:11 > 0:13:15HE GRUNTS, MUSIC MUFFLED

0:13:15 > 0:13:17# Drive-in movies... #

0:13:17 > 0:13:19HE GROANS # Baseball cards

0:13:19 > 0:13:24# And birthdays, take me back

0:13:24 > 0:13:27# To a world gone away

0:13:31 > 0:13:34# Oh, old days... #

0:13:34 > 0:13:38ALARM BEEPS # Good times I remember

0:13:38 > 0:13:40# Gold days

0:13:41 > 0:13:44# Days I'll always treasure

0:13:46 > 0:13:49# Funny faces... #

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Hey, Hutch!

0:13:51 > 0:13:52Whoa, there he is.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54What's going on, Willis?

0:13:54 > 0:13:56Same old, same old.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58So, how's life at the clink treating you?

0:13:58 > 0:14:00HE SIGHS It's not that great.

0:14:00 > 0:14:04I got some new tight-ass partner that they stuck me with,

0:14:04 > 0:14:05and then... I don't know.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09I mean, hopefully, it's probably not going to last that long.

0:14:09 > 0:14:11So, got that 20 you owe me?

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Twenty?! Willis, I thought it was five.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17Hutch, that was my grandmother's birthday money.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19Come on, give me a break for a second, OK?

0:14:19 > 0:14:21I just told you I got a new partner,

0:14:21 > 0:14:24stuff isn't great for me down at the precinct. Back off for a second.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28Can I get it to you on Thursday?

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Fine, but no later than Thursday.

0:14:30 > 0:14:35No later than Thursday. Word of honour. Cute little kid.

0:14:39 > 0:14:40HE GROANS

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Hoo!

0:14:42 > 0:14:45HE EXHALES

0:14:45 > 0:14:46It's 10:00. You're late.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48I've been here since 8:00.

0:14:48 > 0:14:518:00? I didn't know this place opened at 8:00.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Well, don't sweat it, cos you know what?

0:14:53 > 0:14:57Crime called in sick. It's going to get a late start, too(!)

0:14:58 > 0:15:02"Crime called in sick," I like that.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04So, what's on the agenda today?

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Same as every day.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08Finding bad guys, bringing them down.

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Great, we can take my car, right there.

0:15:10 > 0:15:11That? Yeah.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13What the hell is that?

0:15:13 > 0:15:16It's like a camper/pickup truck. What's the matter?

0:15:16 > 0:15:19We're undercover. That thing sticks out like a sore thumb.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22You think so? You're in for a treat.

0:15:24 > 0:15:25It's not that bad.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28TYRES SCREECH

0:15:28 > 0:15:29ENGINE REVS

0:15:34 > 0:15:36TYRES SCREECH

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Whoa!

0:15:45 > 0:15:48Man, your stock just went up in my book, my friend.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51Here, pop the hood. Let me see what you got under this...

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Hey! Hey! Hotshot, what do you think you're doing?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55This is a Ford Gran Torino, OK?

0:15:55 > 0:15:59It's not some crappy camper/apartment.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01There are rules. OK, OK.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04You do not bang on the hood. You never, under any circumstances, drive.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08And you will certainly not put your coffee mug on the roof of the car.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11Coffee goes on the ground, you get in the car, we go.

0:16:18 > 0:16:23DISPATCHER: 'Attention, all units. We got a 6140 at Bay City marina.'

0:16:23 > 0:16:26HUTCH: Oh, no.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28This is zebra-three. We're on it. Hang on.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30TYRES SCREECH

0:16:30 > 0:16:33HORNS HONK

0:16:35 > 0:16:37You got to be kidding me. No way.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39What? Floater.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Nothing harder to solve than a floater.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43No prints, body's usually bloated.

0:16:43 > 0:16:45It's next to impossible.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48All right, I say we push it out, hope the current

0:16:48 > 0:16:50carries it down to the next precinct.

0:16:50 > 0:16:51Whoa, what are you doing?

0:16:51 > 0:16:55Trust me, you're gonna thank me for this one. Hey, seriously, stop it.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58Now, the key is not to pop it. You've got to be very ginger. Hey!

0:16:58 > 0:17:00What are you doing?

0:17:00 > 0:17:02I said drop the stick.

0:17:02 > 0:17:03Going to point a gun at me?

0:17:03 > 0:17:05OK, fine, have it your way.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07If it's so important, knock yourself out.

0:17:07 > 0:17:09What are you going to solve, anyway?

0:17:09 > 0:17:11A murder. I'm going to solve a murder.

0:17:11 > 0:17:15Monday, June 3: body of a male caucasian, apparently dumped from the Bay Bridge...

0:17:15 > 0:17:19Actually, there's no sign of impact, so he was probably just dropped out at sea.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22Could you please not talk while I'm recording? Thank you.

0:17:26 > 0:17:27All right, you know what?

0:17:27 > 0:17:30I'm just going to call in the meat wagon, all right?

0:17:30 > 0:17:32Looks like you punched your last ticket, amigo.

0:17:32 > 0:17:36I'm sorry, did you just tough-talk a dead body?

0:17:36 > 0:17:38I lost my flow.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43STARSKY: Zebra-three to base.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45'Dispatch. Go ahead, zebra-three.'

0:17:45 > 0:17:48STARSKY: We're going to need a coroner notification.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50We've got a DB down at Municipal jetty.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Tell them to bring a body bag and some galoshes. He's a wet one.

0:17:55 > 0:17:59Found a wallet. Nothing in it.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01STARSKY: Medium rare. OK? You got it, Starsky.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03HUTCH: Look at all these cops. You really want to eat here?

0:18:03 > 0:18:05It's a great place. Pop's? Come on.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07If you're one of the cops, you eat at Pop's.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09OK, hot stuff.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12DISPATCHER: 'Zebra-three, 2-11 in progress, please respond.'

0:18:12 > 0:18:14Go for Starsky. 'Hurry, Starsky. '

0:18:14 > 0:18:17We got two perps holding up a gum ball machine on Fifth Street.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Let's go.

0:18:19 > 0:18:20A gum ball machine?

0:18:20 > 0:18:22..use lethal force if necessary.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24THEY LAUGH

0:18:24 > 0:18:27Very funny, Manetti.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Hey, it's Captain and Tennille.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Well, I guess that means one of you would actually have to make captain.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34Radio is for police business only, Manetti.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36That's true - why did they give you one?

0:18:36 > 0:18:38THEY LAUGH

0:18:38 > 0:18:39STARSKY: It's not that funny.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42That Manetti thinks he's something with this whole thing.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44But you know what? He's not.

0:18:44 > 0:18:46BANGS WINDOW Take it easy.

0:18:47 > 0:18:48You think that's funny?

0:18:48 > 0:18:51No, no, I mean, no, you just got to rise above it.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53What did we got in the wallet?

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Not much - driver's licence,

0:18:55 > 0:18:58a couple of receipts, no cash whatsoever.

0:18:58 > 0:18:59HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:19:01 > 0:19:05"Reese Feldman Corporation." What do you call that?

0:19:14 > 0:19:17REESE: Terrence Myers.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20That name does sound familiar. Isn't he part of our Nearly There programme?

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Mm-hmm, I think he is.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26Terrence Myers. Baby, isn't he the guy dating a Bay City kitty?

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Remember? We were joking about it.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Really? Bay City Kitty. You mean the cheerleaders?

0:19:30 > 0:19:33You happen to remember her name?

0:19:33 > 0:19:37Uh, no, I don't, er...

0:19:37 > 0:19:38Can I get you boys anything else?

0:19:38 > 0:19:41REESE: We're good. Thank you so much though, honey.

0:19:41 > 0:19:44That's my angel. I love her.

0:19:44 > 0:19:47You mentioned the Nearly There Foundation. What is that?

0:19:47 > 0:19:51That's a programme that, that, that we set up to help ex-cons get back on their feet.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54Part of their parole is that they're required to have a job.

0:19:54 > 0:19:55The catch-22 of it is,

0:19:55 > 0:19:58not that many people are that excited to hire a felon.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00Yeah, those poor ex-cons, they can't catch a break, can they?

0:20:00 > 0:20:03No, no, it's a vicious cycle that those guys get caught up in.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Did you happen to see the article in the New Times?

0:20:05 > 0:20:08You bet your ass, I did. I love that writer.

0:20:08 > 0:20:12But I'd be lying to you if I didn't say that we get some pretty good tax breaks, too.

0:20:12 > 0:20:13There it is, the kicker. Just a perk.

0:20:13 > 0:20:15This sly dog here.

0:20:15 > 0:20:16Now, what do you got?

0:20:16 > 0:20:17Tickets to our annual fund-raiser.

0:20:17 > 0:20:19I'd love for you to be my guests.

0:20:19 > 0:20:21Oh, no, no, no, we can't accept gratuities.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23It's against policy.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24These don't look like gratuities,

0:20:24 > 0:20:25they look like a couple of tickets.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27I'd be happy to accept them.

0:20:27 > 0:20:28Hey, what about Terrence?

0:20:28 > 0:20:29Is he in some kind of trouble?

0:20:29 > 0:20:31He's dead.

0:20:31 > 0:20:32His body washed up

0:20:32 > 0:20:33in the marina this morning.

0:20:33 > 0:20:34Oh, no.

0:20:34 > 0:20:38Punched his last ticket, as they say.

0:20:38 > 0:20:42You know, you try to do all you can for these guys,

0:20:42 > 0:20:44but it's just never enough, is it?

0:20:44 > 0:20:45No, I guess it isn't.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46When was the last time you saw him?

0:20:46 > 0:20:48The last place I saw...

0:20:48 > 0:20:49Wow.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51This is a nice boat.

0:20:51 > 0:20:52Reese, is this yours?

0:20:52 > 0:20:53Uh, actually, that's a yacht.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56I'm sorry, a yacht. Excuse me, Hutch?

0:20:56 > 0:20:57Excuse me. Can we please focus

0:20:57 > 0:20:58on the investigation?

0:20:58 > 0:20:59Sure. Thank you.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01I could use another one of these.

0:21:01 > 0:21:05JACKSON FIVE: # Dancin', dancin', dancin'

0:21:05 > 0:21:07# Automatic, systematic

0:21:07 > 0:21:10# Full of colour, self-contained

0:21:10 > 0:21:13# Tune and channelled to your vibes

0:21:13 > 0:21:15# She's movin', she's groovin'

0:21:15 > 0:21:19# Dancin' until the music stops now

0:21:19 > 0:21:22# Yeah

0:21:22 > 0:21:24# Rhythmatic, acrobatic

0:21:24 > 0:21:27# She's a dynamite attraction

0:21:27 > 0:21:29# At the drop of a coin, she comes alive... #

0:21:29 > 0:21:30CHEERING

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Right on! That was great, girls.

0:21:32 > 0:21:33Take five.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36Let's go.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38Look alive. Here they come.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40We usually don't allow spectators.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Even cute ones.

0:21:42 > 0:21:45David Starsky, Bay City PD. This is my partner, Ken Hutchinson.

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Girls.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47WHISPERS: They're so cute.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49I'm Stacey. That's Holly.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51God, I loved your moves out there.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53Fantastic.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55I've never dated a cop before.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57My horoscope said I should try

0:21:57 > 0:21:59new things today. Is that right?

0:21:59 > 0:22:01WHISPERS: You're awful.

0:22:01 > 0:22:05So, what brings you around here, officers?

0:22:05 > 0:22:07Well, you know, that depends, er...

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Yeah, er, either of you two know a Terrence Myers?

0:22:10 > 0:22:11Oh, yeah.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Heather dated him. Oh, yeah.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15The girl right over there with the yellow top.

0:22:15 > 0:22:16But, um, they split up a while ago.

0:22:16 > 0:22:17We haven't seen him around.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Hello. Let's go ask Heather some questions.

0:22:19 > 0:22:20All right, thank you.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Oh, and, er, be careful with those moves.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23You could hurt someone.

0:22:23 > 0:22:24That's why we practise.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Actually, I was talking about us.

0:22:27 > 0:22:28Oh...

0:22:28 > 0:22:29GIGGLES

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Where'd that come from? a little charm.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34But I would have tried the horoscope line.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35No, too obvious.

0:22:35 > 0:22:36Hey!

0:22:36 > 0:22:37Wait up.

0:22:37 > 0:22:38See what I mean?

0:22:39 > 0:22:41Here's my number.

0:22:41 > 0:22:45In case you need us for...questioning.

0:22:45 > 0:22:46Thank you, ladies.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Bye. Bye.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50He was always fascinated

0:22:50 > 0:22:52by all that macho mobster bullshit.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54I hope this is OK. I need to make this quick.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56I got to pick my kid up in 20 minutes.

0:22:56 > 0:22:57Oh, yeah, totally.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Yeah, we were gonna move in together,

0:22:59 > 0:23:01and he promised he'd quit all that stuff

0:23:01 > 0:23:02after he got out.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04But then he goes and gets himself killed.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06He's such an asshole.

0:23:06 > 0:23:07Mm.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10I can only imagine what you must be going through.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12I think that...

0:23:12 > 0:23:14Honestly, you know, if I knew what he was up to,

0:23:14 > 0:23:16I'd be happy to tell you.

0:23:16 > 0:23:19But we didn't talk much.

0:23:19 > 0:23:20Yeah.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22So...did you, um...

0:23:22 > 0:23:25When did he... did he...what'd...

0:23:25 > 0:23:28So, Hutch, do you got any more questions?

0:23:28 > 0:23:32Yeah, well, um, sure. We could...

0:23:32 > 0:23:33What's your sign?

0:23:35 > 0:23:36Gemini.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39What, er...

0:23:39 > 0:23:41what do you weigh?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43And what does that have to do with anything?

0:23:43 > 0:23:44It has everything to do with anything.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47And just answer the question, please, ma'am.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49Um... SHE SIGHS

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Around 115, I guess,

0:23:51 > 0:23:52give or take a pound or two.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55HUTCH CLEARS THROAT

0:23:55 > 0:23:56I wish I could be more helpful.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58Just...s-stop.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Don't do that. You've been great.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02I mean, it's terrific, I mean...

0:24:02 > 0:24:04We got what we, you know, needed.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07Anything else? Hmm?

0:24:07 > 0:24:09I'm good.

0:24:09 > 0:24:10Yeah. Yeah.

0:24:10 > 0:24:11Thank you.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13Oh, thank you so much.

0:24:13 > 0:24:14Oh, wait.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16Uh, I don't know if this'll be of any help.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18Uh, it's his. Take it.

0:24:18 > 0:24:19I don't want it.

0:24:21 > 0:24:22OK.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24Thank you. Again.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:24:29 > 0:24:31WILLIS: Things getting any better at work, Hutch?

0:24:31 > 0:24:33Actually, work was pretty good today.

0:24:33 > 0:24:34How 'bout you? anything new?

0:24:34 > 0:24:35Nope.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37You get a chance to ask that girl out?

0:24:37 > 0:24:38Huh? Nah.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40Willis, I want you to meet my new partner,

0:24:40 > 0:24:41David Starsky.

0:24:41 > 0:24:42Hey, there, Willis, nice to meet you.

0:24:42 > 0:24:45Is this the dickweed you were telling me about?

0:24:46 > 0:24:47Look, just shake his hand.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Come on.

0:24:49 > 0:24:50Go on, hop in.

0:24:52 > 0:24:53Dickweed, huh?

0:24:53 > 0:24:56His mom works late on wednesday, so I kind of look after him.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58You take a kid out on patrol with you?

0:24:58 > 0:25:01Yeah, that's what we do, isn't it, Willis?

0:25:01 > 0:25:02Patrol.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Whatever you say, Hutch.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07Whoa! Damn!

0:25:07 > 0:25:10# Keep on bumpin'

0:25:10 > 0:25:12# Right on bumpin'... #

0:25:14 > 0:25:16WILLIS: Man, this thing is bad!

0:25:16 > 0:25:19Don't encourage him.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21MUSIC STOPS Oh!

0:25:22 > 0:25:24Holy shit!

0:25:24 > 0:25:25Starsky, this your ride?

0:25:25 > 0:25:26Uh-huh.

0:25:26 > 0:25:31Damn, you just moved up a notch in my book.

0:25:31 > 0:25:32That puts you at notch one.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35I like your Lincoln.

0:25:35 > 0:25:36It's a '76.

0:25:36 > 0:25:37It won't be out till next year.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39But I know some people that know some people

0:25:39 > 0:25:40that robbed some people.

0:25:40 > 0:25:44So what do you hear on the street these days, Huggy?

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Dig this. A little bird tells me

0:25:47 > 0:25:50there's gonna be a big coke deal in Bay City.

0:25:50 > 0:25:51One for the Guinness books,

0:25:51 > 0:25:52so they say.

0:25:52 > 0:25:53Interesting.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55And, uh, who would this little bird be?

0:25:55 > 0:25:58Look, man, I lay it out for y'all to play it out.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00All right. What does that mean?

0:26:02 > 0:26:03Don't worry about it.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05Huggy, what can you tell us about this?

0:26:10 > 0:26:12This looks like the work of Big Earl.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14This boy loves dragons.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16He makes these with his hands, you know?

0:26:16 > 0:26:18There's his name, stitched right up under

0:26:18 > 0:26:19the dragon's belly.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21Starsky: Big Earl.

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Yeah, he sews, but he's one tough mother.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26He owns a biker bar about 80 miles east of Route Four.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28Biker bar, huh?

0:26:28 > 0:26:30What goes on down there?

0:26:30 > 0:26:33I don't know. Listen to Jim Croce,

0:26:33 > 0:26:35play darts, whatever the hell else you white people do.

0:26:35 > 0:26:36Look, fuzz,

0:26:36 > 0:26:37I gots to buzz.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39This meeting is adjourned.

0:26:39 > 0:26:40That's it?

0:26:40 > 0:26:41That's it.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43He lays it out for us to play it out.

0:26:43 > 0:26:44Oh, and by the way...

0:26:44 > 0:26:46This little meeting? It never happened.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48What meeting? # Bumpin'...

0:26:48 > 0:26:50C'est la vie, gentlemen.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52# Right on bumpin'...

0:26:54 > 0:26:56KITTY: I'm learning this really great new technique

0:26:56 > 0:26:57where you press really hard...

0:26:57 > 0:26:59REESE: With the hands? What is it, a verbal technique?

0:26:59 > 0:27:00KITTY: No.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02Keep your hands on me, I'm teasing.

0:27:03 > 0:27:04What do you got on those two cops?

0:27:04 > 0:27:05I got everything.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07I got their records, their home addresses,

0:27:07 > 0:27:09credit history... Nice.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12REESE: "Starsky and Hutchinson"?

0:27:12 > 0:27:13They call him Hutch, actually.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16I mean, it's like I don't have enough on my plate already?

0:27:16 > 0:27:18I got a major coke deal, my daughter's bat mitzvah -

0:27:19 > 0:27:21which is turning into a total nightmare, by the way -

0:27:21 > 0:27:23and now I got these two guys. You think they're onto us?

0:27:23 > 0:27:25They're investigating a murder, my man.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26That's what cops do.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28It's why we pay taxes.

0:27:28 > 0:27:29You're the worst.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31I mean, are you kidding? will you look at these two guys?

0:27:31 > 0:27:34He's cute, the blond.

0:27:34 > 0:27:35But I like dark hair.

0:27:35 > 0:27:36You know, maybe we ought

0:27:36 > 0:27:38to just, uh, push this whole thing, huh,

0:27:38 > 0:27:39till things cool off?

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Kevin, please, with the worry.

0:27:42 > 0:27:44We're moving ahead as scheduled.

0:27:44 > 0:27:45I'll handle those two clowns.

0:27:46 > 0:27:49So, tomorrow, I say we check out this biker bar,

0:27:49 > 0:27:50do a little deep cover.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53Sounds good.

0:27:53 > 0:27:55Who does your wig work?

0:27:55 > 0:27:57I'm sorry, my what?

0:27:57 > 0:27:58Your wig work, your undercover work.

0:27:58 > 0:28:00You know, your disguises.

0:28:00 > 0:28:01You, you have a wig guy?

0:28:01 > 0:28:03Oh, yeah, he's incredible.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05Well, if it isn't Sonny and Cher.

0:28:05 > 0:28:07Sonny and Cher!

0:28:07 > 0:28:08Sit on it, Manetti.

0:28:08 > 0:28:09Oh, me sit on it?

0:28:09 > 0:28:10Yeah, you sit on it.

0:28:10 > 0:28:11Oh, why don't you sit on it, Starsky?

0:28:11 > 0:28:13How's that sound?

0:28:13 > 0:28:16You wish, cos I'm never sitting on it. Ever.

0:28:16 > 0:28:17That's not what I heard.

0:28:17 > 0:28:18Ooh!

0:28:18 > 0:28:20Whoa!

0:28:20 > 0:28:21Starsky! Come on.

0:28:21 > 0:28:23Come on, come on. Jesus!

0:28:23 > 0:28:24Stop it!

0:28:24 > 0:28:25Easy, big guy.

0:28:25 > 0:28:26What the hell is going on?

0:28:26 > 0:28:28What the hell's going on?!

0:28:28 > 0:28:30Cool your jets, Starsky.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32Everybody, back off.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34Including you, Manetti.

0:28:34 > 0:28:36I apologise, captain.

0:28:36 > 0:28:37You're absolutely right.

0:28:37 > 0:28:39You know, you're not even worth it, Starsky.

0:28:39 > 0:28:42And for the record, those are hand towels.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44The big towels are on the top shelf.

0:28:44 > 0:28:46MEN LAUGH

0:28:46 > 0:28:47Hand towels. What a rod.

0:28:47 > 0:28:51Jesus Christ. He's right.

0:28:51 > 0:28:53Go cover up.

0:29:00 > 0:29:03# I pulled into Nazareth

0:29:03 > 0:29:06# Was feeling 'bout half past dead

0:29:06 > 0:29:13# I just need someplace where I can lay my head

0:29:13 > 0:29:19# "Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"

0:29:19 > 0:29:23# He just grinned and shook my hand

0:29:23 > 0:29:26# "No" was all he said

0:29:26 > 0:29:29# Take a load off, Fanny

0:29:29 > 0:29:32# Take a load for free

0:29:32 > 0:29:36# Take a load off, Fanny

0:29:36 > 0:29:43# And... you put the load right on me. #

0:29:43 > 0:29:45("Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash playing)

0:29:45 > 0:29:47# ...And smokin' big cigars

0:29:47 > 0:29:49# Well, I know I had it comin'

0:29:49 > 0:29:52# I know I can't be free

0:29:54 > 0:29:58# But those people keep a-movin'... #

0:29:58 > 0:30:00STARSKY CLEARS THROAT

0:30:00 > 0:30:02Who are you guys?

0:30:02 > 0:30:05My name's Kansas,

0:30:05 > 0:30:08and this is my little man, Toto.

0:30:08 > 0:30:09We're, uh, Jesters from up in Big Cliff,

0:30:10 > 0:30:11come down to check out your place.

0:30:11 > 0:30:13This it? Is this your place?

0:30:13 > 0:30:14Yeah.

0:30:14 > 0:30:16HUTCH: Nice.

0:30:16 > 0:30:18Tell me, if you two are Jesters,

0:30:18 > 0:30:19what's our credo?

0:30:19 > 0:30:21Credo? Uh...

0:30:21 > 0:30:23HUTCH CHUCKLES Well...

0:30:23 > 0:30:27You almost got me there. There's no credo.

0:30:28 > 0:30:30Other than the secret credo.

0:30:30 > 0:30:32It ain't no secret.

0:30:32 > 0:30:34It's written right on our damn crest.

0:30:34 > 0:30:36So, what is that, like, a trick question?

0:30:36 > 0:30:37Because if it's printed on the crest,

0:30:37 > 0:30:38then you don't have to give it to us as a test.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40Anybody can read the crest, that wouldn't prove

0:30:40 > 0:30:41that we're Jesters.

0:30:41 > 0:30:42Not cool.

0:30:42 > 0:30:43That's a fake mustache.

0:30:44 > 0:30:45Oh, really?

0:30:46 > 0:30:48Well, I wonder if you think this is fake.

0:30:48 > 0:30:51MAN GRUNTS

0:30:51 > 0:30:52Now, we got some questions.

0:30:52 > 0:30:54I don't got to give you nothing, cop!

0:30:54 > 0:30:57Wrong!

0:30:57 > 0:30:59First, you got to give me a little respect.

0:30:59 > 0:31:01Second, you're gonna give me some answers,

0:31:02 > 0:31:03comprende, muchacho?

0:31:04 > 0:31:05Oh, hey, ha...

0:31:12 > 0:31:13I like your style.

0:31:13 > 0:31:15I like your moves.

0:31:15 > 0:31:16Now, where were we?

0:31:16 > 0:31:19You were gonna tell us about Terrence Myers.

0:31:19 > 0:31:21Who's Terrence Myers?

0:31:21 > 0:31:23Wrong answer, Big Earl.

0:31:23 > 0:31:25Big Earl? I'm not Big Earl.

0:31:25 > 0:31:26I'm... I'm Jeff.

0:31:26 > 0:31:28Oh, yeah, yeah.

0:31:28 > 0:31:31No, no-one's who they say they are.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33Look. Honest.

0:31:33 > 0:31:35Think about it. I'm not even big.

0:31:36 > 0:31:37Yeah.

0:31:38 > 0:31:40No, that's... a good point.

0:31:40 > 0:31:41Well, maybe it's one of those ironic names.

0:31:41 > 0:31:42You know, like, uh, Tiny over in vice.

0:31:43 > 0:31:44He's like eight feet tall.

0:31:44 > 0:31:45Everybody says he's tiny, except he's big.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47I know, except this guy's sort of normal size,

0:31:47 > 0:31:50so he'd have to be a lot smaller with a name like Big Earl

0:31:50 > 0:31:51for it to be ironic.

0:31:51 > 0:31:53Yeah, but, I mean, you don't have to be a midget.

0:31:53 > 0:31:54You're not exactly, well, how tall are you?

0:31:54 > 0:31:56Uh, I don't know. Five-nine?

0:31:56 > 0:31:57Uh-huh. Well, that is kind of...

0:31:57 > 0:31:59So, basically, like... Borderline. It's average.

0:31:59 > 0:32:00Yeah. Regular. Look, guys,

0:32:00 > 0:32:02Big Earl got pinched two weeks ago.

0:32:02 > 0:32:03He's in Bay City Correctional,

0:32:03 > 0:32:04and I took over the bar as a favour,

0:32:04 > 0:32:05until he gets out.

0:32:05 > 0:32:07Jeff, I'm sorry.

0:32:07 > 0:32:08We apologise.

0:32:08 > 0:32:10We're gonna pay Big Earl a visit.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12Let me just get this for you. There you go.

0:32:12 > 0:32:13Good as new.

0:32:13 > 0:32:15STARSKY: a little word of advice.

0:32:15 > 0:32:16Next time you're watching a place,

0:32:16 > 0:32:17don't claim that you own it

0:32:17 > 0:32:18just cos you're watching it, OK?

0:32:18 > 0:32:20I house-sit for my sister all the time.

0:32:20 > 0:32:22It's not like I claim that I own her house,

0:32:22 > 0:32:23you know what I mean?

0:32:23 > 0:32:25That goes for all y'all.

0:32:25 > 0:32:28Don't pretend to be something you're not.

0:32:28 > 0:32:29Just be who you are.

0:32:29 > 0:32:32That's what's really cool.

0:32:43 > 0:32:46BELL RINGS

0:33:01 > 0:33:03How did you guys get in here? visiting hours are over.

0:33:03 > 0:33:05Special treatment.

0:33:06 > 0:33:09We got some questions about Terrence Myers.

0:33:09 > 0:33:11Terrence Myers? Yeah.

0:33:11 > 0:33:13You made this jacket for him, didn't you?

0:33:13 > 0:33:17Gee whiz, I don't seem to know anyone by that name at all.

0:33:17 > 0:33:19Hard customer.

0:33:19 > 0:33:22Offer him a radio or some bullshit.

0:33:22 > 0:33:23Maybe there's something we can do

0:33:23 > 0:33:25to make your stay a little more comfortable.

0:33:25 > 0:33:27Nice transistor radio for your cell, maybe?

0:33:27 > 0:33:28No.

0:33:28 > 0:33:30How about a TV?

0:33:30 > 0:33:32I tell you what...

0:33:32 > 0:33:34I do like your blond friend here.

0:33:36 > 0:33:37Let me see your bellybutton.

0:33:39 > 0:33:41No. What...?

0:33:41 > 0:33:43Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go. Come on.

0:33:43 > 0:33:44No, I'm not gonna... Hold on a second.

0:33:44 > 0:33:46He's obviously a freak. Just show a little skin.

0:33:46 > 0:33:47Just show him your stomach.

0:33:47 > 0:33:49Just, pull it... Nobody's here.

0:33:49 > 0:33:50Are we cool?

0:33:50 > 0:33:52Yes, we're cool.

0:33:56 > 0:33:58Oh, eureka.

0:33:58 > 0:34:00God, that's nice.

0:34:00 > 0:34:02Oh, it's like a little bowl of oatmeal

0:34:02 > 0:34:04with a hole in it.

0:34:04 > 0:34:05I got one, too.

0:34:05 > 0:34:06HUTCH: Oh, come on.

0:34:06 > 0:34:07I just got a little more brown sugar on mine.

0:34:08 > 0:34:11Did you say Terrence Myers?

0:34:11 > 0:34:13Yeah, I think I did make that little jacket.

0:34:13 > 0:34:15In fact, we might have even pulled a job together.

0:34:15 > 0:34:16What job?

0:34:16 > 0:34:18Who were you working for?

0:34:18 > 0:34:22Stand up, walk to the back and do a slow spin for me.

0:34:22 > 0:34:23Now, wait a second, Big Earl.

0:34:23 > 0:34:24I just showed you my stomach, I...

0:34:24 > 0:34:27Come on, a deal's a deal, Earl.

0:34:27 > 0:34:30Fine, then this conversation is over.

0:34:31 > 0:34:32Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

0:34:32 > 0:34:35Hold it, come on, wait a second.

0:34:38 > 0:34:40Get up.

0:34:43 > 0:34:44T-tell him to take his jacket off.

0:34:44 > 0:34:47Take your jacket off.

0:34:47 > 0:34:48Slow spin.

0:34:48 > 0:34:51He says to do a slow spin.

0:34:51 > 0:34:52Tell him to arch his back,

0:34:52 > 0:34:54and then... and then look back at me,

0:34:54 > 0:34:56mean, like a... like a dragon.

0:34:58 > 0:35:01He says to arch your back and look back at him,

0:35:01 > 0:35:03mean, like a dragon.

0:35:03 > 0:35:05BIG EARL: But keep it mean.

0:35:08 > 0:35:10HUTCH GROWLS

0:35:10 > 0:35:11HE GROWLS

0:35:12 > 0:35:14HE GROWLS

0:35:14 > 0:35:15HE MOANS

0:35:15 > 0:35:17HE GROWLS

0:35:17 > 0:35:19HE MOANS

0:35:19 > 0:35:21HUTCH GROWLS

0:35:21 > 0:35:23That's great. Tell him great job.

0:35:23 > 0:35:24He can sit down.

0:35:24 > 0:35:26You're a very convincing dragon.

0:35:26 > 0:35:28You should feel good about that.

0:35:28 > 0:35:30Just get this over with.

0:35:30 > 0:35:32OK, here's the deal.

0:35:32 > 0:35:34Terrence and I worked as extra muscle

0:35:34 > 0:35:35for a couple of dealers.

0:35:36 > 0:35:37I'd like to tell you who they were,

0:35:37 > 0:35:38but... but I don't know.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40I never got a name. I never got a face.

0:35:40 > 0:35:42But I do know one thing.

0:35:44 > 0:35:47They paid us in coke.

0:35:47 > 0:35:48OK, I was pretty pissed at the time.

0:35:48 > 0:35:49I was hoping to get some cash,

0:35:49 > 0:35:51cos I'm not a coke dealer.

0:35:51 > 0:35:52Right, so where's the coke?

0:35:52 > 0:35:54STARSKY: If we find that coke,

0:35:54 > 0:35:55we can probably trace it. Please.

0:35:55 > 0:35:58Fine. Fine.

0:35:58 > 0:36:00Look, I like you guys, OK?

0:36:00 > 0:36:01Especially you.

0:36:01 > 0:36:03OK, don't feel bad about that.

0:36:03 > 0:36:05But I like you guys, so I'll tell you where it is.

0:36:05 > 0:36:09But, uh... but first...

0:36:09 > 0:36:11I need to see something, OK?

0:36:11 > 0:36:14And it's gonna involve both of you.

0:36:14 > 0:36:18I'm not gonna lie to you, it's gonna get weird.

0:36:18 > 0:36:19Two dragons.

0:36:24 > 0:36:26BIG EARL: Ready?

0:36:26 > 0:36:28Both take your shirts off.

0:36:28 > 0:36:30But do it slow.

0:36:35 > 0:36:38| Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight |

0:36:38 > 0:36:42| Gonna grab some afternoon delight |

0:36:42 > 0:36:45| My motto's always been: when it's right, it's right |

0:36:45 > 0:36:47| Why wait until the middle... |

0:36:47 > 0:36:50I guess it's supposed to rain later tonight.

0:36:50 > 0:36:53Yeah, that's what I heard.

0:36:53 > 0:36:55Look, you know what happened...

0:36:55 > 0:36:58Can we please not talk about this, Hutch?

0:36:58 > 0:36:59We got the coke.

0:36:59 > 0:37:01Now let's not ever talk about it.

0:37:01 > 0:37:02You're right.

0:37:02 > 0:37:04That's a good policy.

0:37:04 > 0:37:06We got what we came for.

0:37:06 > 0:37:07# A little afternoon delight

0:37:07 > 0:37:08# Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes... #

0:37:09 > 0:37:10You think dragons ever really...?

0:37:10 > 0:37:11Stop!

0:37:11 > 0:37:12I don't want to talk about it.

0:37:12 > 0:37:14# Gettin' so excited

0:37:14 > 0:37:16# Sky rockets in flight

0:37:16 > 0:37:20# Afternoon delight

0:37:21 > 0:37:26# Afternoon delight. #

0:37:27 > 0:37:30What the hell is wrong with you two?

0:37:30 > 0:37:32LAUGHTER

0:37:32 > 0:37:33Oh, come on, what are you...?

0:37:33 > 0:37:34You have brought disgrace

0:37:35 > 0:37:36on everyone who's ever worn a uniform.

0:37:36 > 0:37:39My God.

0:37:39 > 0:37:40Well, we didn't know there was a camera.

0:37:40 > 0:37:42Look, Cap, we're sorry,

0:37:42 > 0:37:43but at least we got the stash.

0:37:43 > 0:37:44I mean, there's got to be

0:37:44 > 0:37:4630 grams of coke here, minimum.

0:37:46 > 0:37:47Look, this could lead us to the dealers

0:37:48 > 0:37:49that iced Terrence Myers.

0:37:49 > 0:37:50Yeah, it's the beginning of the evidence chain.

0:37:50 > 0:37:52We can print the bag, run forensics.

0:37:52 > 0:37:53We did.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55We got nothing.

0:37:55 > 0:37:56What we got

0:37:56 > 0:38:00is a bag of artificial sweetener.

0:38:00 > 0:38:02What are you talking about?

0:38:02 > 0:38:04This wouldn't pass for cocaine with my grandmammy.

0:38:04 > 0:38:05Come on, that's impossible.

0:38:05 > 0:38:07We got the stuff from Big Earl.

0:38:07 > 0:38:10I'm taking you two off of this floater.

0:38:10 > 0:38:10What?!

0:38:10 > 0:38:12I'm giving it to Manetti.

0:38:12 > 0:38:13Manetti?! Oh, come on, cap!

0:38:13 > 0:38:15Manetti's the worst cop on the force.

0:38:16 > 0:38:17Starsky, stop.

0:38:17 > 0:38:19Go on. Sit down.

0:38:19 > 0:38:21Come on.

0:38:21 > 0:38:23STARSKY SIGHS

0:38:23 > 0:38:25Look, captain, we're sorry, but come on,

0:38:25 > 0:38:26you can't take us off this.

0:38:26 > 0:38:28I just did.

0:38:28 > 0:38:31Now leave.

0:38:33 > 0:38:34And take your bag

0:38:34 > 0:38:37of artificial sweetener with you.

0:38:37 > 0:38:40Kicking the chair was a nice touch.

0:38:40 > 0:38:41Yeah, too bad it didn't work.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43Ah, he'll get over it.

0:38:43 > 0:38:45What I can't figure out

0:38:45 > 0:38:46is why Earl got paid with bunk cocaine.

0:38:46 > 0:38:48Look, right now we've got two leads.

0:38:48 > 0:38:49We do?

0:38:49 > 0:38:51Stacey and Holly.

0:38:51 > 0:38:52Those two cheerleaders?

0:38:52 > 0:38:54No, no, no, those two witnesses.

0:38:54 > 0:38:56They met Terrence, right?

0:38:56 > 0:38:59Let's take them out, see what we can learn.

0:38:59 > 0:39:00I mean, is it our fault

0:39:00 > 0:39:04that they also happen to be a couple of hot foxes?

0:39:04 > 0:39:05BIG EARL: Look, Reese,

0:39:05 > 0:39:07I couldn't help myself. They were cops.

0:39:07 > 0:39:08They were just too macho.

0:39:08 > 0:39:09REESE: Macho?

0:39:09 > 0:39:10It's pretty simple, Earl,

0:39:10 > 0:39:12you should've lied to them.

0:39:12 > 0:39:13I did lie. I lied about you.

0:39:13 > 0:39:14I didn't tell them anything.

0:39:14 > 0:39:15But I had to give them something.

0:39:16 > 0:39:16They were so pure.

0:39:16 > 0:39:19You're very lucky you're in the joint, my man.

0:39:19 > 0:39:20Do you understand me when I say that?

0:39:20 > 0:39:21Look at the bright side, OK?

0:39:22 > 0:39:22The bright side?

0:39:22 > 0:39:24This is the ultimate test.

0:39:24 > 0:39:26That coke was in the police station all night,

0:39:26 > 0:39:27and they cleared it.

0:39:27 > 0:39:28You should be happy.

0:39:28 > 0:39:30Well, guess what? I'm not happy.

0:39:30 > 0:39:31I'm not happy

0:39:31 > 0:39:33at all about it, Earl! Shh, shh, shh.

0:39:33 > 0:39:34- Calm down. - Don't shush me!

0:39:34 > 0:39:36Don't tell me to calm down, you understand?

0:39:36 > 0:39:37What are you wearing? Real quick.

0:39:37 > 0:39:38Be honest.

0:39:38 > 0:39:39What am I wearing?

0:39:39 > 0:39:41Silk flowered shirt and a vest, why?

0:39:41 > 0:39:43BIG EARL MOANS

0:39:43 > 0:39:44That's gorgeous.

0:39:44 > 0:39:46You sick son of a bitch.

0:39:46 > 0:39:47Don't hang up. Don't hang up!

0:39:47 > 0:39:49CLICK, DIAL TONE

0:39:51 > 0:39:54God, some people.

0:39:54 > 0:39:55LAUGHTER

0:39:55 > 0:39:56HOLLY: I'm not going to be able

0:39:56 > 0:39:57to fit in my uniform tomorrow.

0:39:57 > 0:39:58Ooh, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

0:39:58 > 0:39:59Uh-oh!

0:39:59 > 0:40:01LAUGHTER

0:40:01 > 0:40:03Is this the way you two always treat your witnesses?

0:40:03 > 0:40:04Well, that depends.

0:40:04 > 0:40:07If it's a misdemeanor, we've been known to skip

0:40:07 > 0:40:08the fondue and move right

0:40:08 > 0:40:09to the foot massages.

0:40:09 > 0:40:10Let me just see that. Oh!

0:40:10 > 0:40:11Watch out. Wait a minute.

0:40:11 > 0:40:13I think that's police brutality.

0:40:13 > 0:40:14Whoa.

0:40:14 > 0:40:15Anybody for some coffee?

0:40:15 > 0:40:17Oh, no thanks. I'm OK.

0:40:17 > 0:40:18OK, one for le chef.

0:40:18 > 0:40:21Mm.

0:40:21 > 0:40:22HOLLY: Wow, this place is great.

0:40:22 > 0:40:23HUTCH: Yeah...

0:40:23 > 0:40:24HE SNAPS FINGERS

0:40:24 > 0:40:26Let's see...

0:40:29 > 0:40:30It serves my needs.

0:40:30 > 0:40:31It's cosy. Homey.

0:40:31 > 0:40:32Hey, Hutch, can you help me find the sugar?

0:40:32 > 0:40:33It's in there.

0:40:33 > 0:40:34No, Hutch.

0:40:34 > 0:40:36WHISPERS: Help me find the sugar.

0:40:36 > 0:40:38Oh, OK.

0:40:38 > 0:40:39Pardon me.

0:40:39 > 0:40:40OK.

0:40:40 > 0:40:41- How we doing? - Great.

0:40:41 > 0:40:42Your fondue just put us over the top.

0:40:42 > 0:40:43Really?

0:40:43 > 0:40:44Let me ask you something.

0:40:44 > 0:40:45Which one do you like?

0:40:45 > 0:40:47Cos we're going to stick to this.

0:40:47 > 0:40:48Well, I've always had a thing for blondes.

0:40:48 > 0:40:49Good, cos I'll take anything.

0:40:49 > 0:40:50HUTCH: And they're both such

0:40:50 > 0:40:51sweet little angels.

0:40:51 > 0:40:52Now, in two minutes,

0:40:52 > 0:40:54I want you to grab my guitar,

0:40:54 > 0:40:55bring it out to me,

0:40:55 > 0:40:57put it in my hands, and then step back.

0:40:57 > 0:40:58You play?

0:40:58 > 0:41:00Just bring me the guitar.

0:41:00 > 0:41:02Wait, hey, hey. Where's the sugar?

0:41:02 > 0:41:04I don't think I have any.

0:41:05 > 0:41:07Come here. Both of you.

0:41:07 > 0:41:09LAUGHTER You're so funny.

0:41:09 > 0:41:11HUTCH: Magpie convention in here.

0:41:11 > 0:41:13This could help out.

0:41:17 > 0:41:19Thank you, Big Earl.

0:41:21 > 0:41:23Do you ever get scared out there,

0:41:23 > 0:41:24on the streets?

0:41:24 > 0:41:27Yeah, I'd like to say no,

0:41:27 > 0:41:29but the truth is, I do sometimes.

0:41:29 > 0:41:30Oh...

0:41:30 > 0:41:31HE SLURPS

0:41:31 > 0:41:32HE BLUBBERS

0:41:32 > 0:41:34Mm.

0:41:35 > 0:41:36There we go.

0:41:36 > 0:41:38HE SUCKS TEETH

0:41:38 > 0:41:39It's more that there's someone out there

0:41:39 > 0:41:41I might not be able to help.

0:41:41 > 0:41:43A citizen that needs...

0:41:43 > 0:41:45aid, or even an animal.

0:41:45 > 0:41:46Look what I found.

0:41:46 > 0:41:48Put that away. Put it away.

0:41:48 > 0:41:49Hutch, you got to play.

0:41:49 > 0:41:51Come on-- play, play, play, play, please.

0:41:51 > 0:41:52Don't you want to play?

0:41:52 > 0:41:53Come on, Hutch. Hutch!

0:41:53 > 0:41:56Whoo! All right, Holly, turn off the music, OK?

0:41:56 > 0:41:57Now! Come on! Oh, sorry.

0:41:57 > 0:41:58Look alive. Let's go.

0:41:58 > 0:41:59Tune this thing...

0:41:59 > 0:42:00Hutch is going to play.

0:42:00 > 0:42:02What have you got me into, Starsky?

0:42:02 > 0:42:03WOMEN WHOOP Thought we were partners.

0:42:03 > 0:42:05STACEY: Whoo! Come on, Hutch.

0:42:05 > 0:42:07TUNES GUITAR

0:42:07 > 0:42:09One...

0:42:09 > 0:42:10two...three...

0:42:13 > 0:42:16# Don't give up on us, baby

0:42:17 > 0:42:20# Don't make the wrong

0:42:20 > 0:42:22# Seem right

0:42:24 > 0:42:27# It's written in the moonlight

0:42:27 > 0:42:30# Painted on the stars

0:42:30 > 0:42:33# We can't change ours

0:42:33 > 0:42:35HE SLURPS

0:42:36 > 0:42:39# Don't give up on us, baby

0:42:39 > 0:42:42# Lord knows we've come

0:42:43 > 0:42:45# This far

0:42:45 > 0:42:48CHIRPING # The angel and the dreamer

0:42:50 > 0:42:53# Who sometimes plays a fool

0:42:53 > 0:42:56# Don't give up on us, I know #

0:42:56 > 0:42:57Wha! Wha!

0:42:57 > 0:43:00# We can still come through. #

0:43:00 > 0:43:03Ooh, ooh, ooh...

0:43:03 > 0:43:05THEY LAUGH

0:43:05 > 0:43:06Whoa!

0:43:06 > 0:43:07STACEY: Wow.

0:43:07 > 0:43:08Whoo!

0:43:08 > 0:43:09That was great, Hutch!

0:43:09 > 0:43:10Oh, come on, you guys.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12It was just a guy up here with a guitar,

0:43:12 > 0:43:14singing his heart out.

0:43:14 > 0:43:15HE CHUCKLES You guys.

0:43:15 > 0:43:16Starsky's bored.

0:43:16 > 0:43:18STARSKY HOOTS

0:43:18 > 0:43:20Anybody else bored? What?

0:43:20 > 0:43:21- Huh? - A club could be fun.

0:43:21 > 0:43:22A club! Yeah?

0:43:22 > 0:43:25OK, I'll go get some more coffee, and then we'll go.

0:43:25 > 0:43:26Boy.

0:43:26 > 0:43:27Is he OK?

0:43:27 > 0:43:30( "Right Back Where We Started From" plays )

0:43:30 > 0:43:31# Ooh, and it's all right

0:43:31 > 0:43:33# And it's coming on

0:43:33 > 0:43:36# We got to get right back to where we started from

0:43:36 > 0:43:38# Love is good

0:43:38 > 0:43:39# Love can be strong

0:43:39 > 0:43:43# We got to get right back to where we started from #

0:43:43 > 0:43:45WOMEN LAUGH

0:43:50 > 0:43:51# Do you remember the day

0:43:51 > 0:43:53# That sunny day... # Whoo!

0:43:53 > 0:43:55Isn't this place great? Uh-huh.

0:43:55 > 0:43:56Do you like coming to places like this?

0:43:56 > 0:43:57Cos, you know, you're a cheerleader,

0:43:57 > 0:43:58so all the time you're always dancing

0:43:58 > 0:44:00in formation like this, but then you come

0:44:00 > 0:44:01to a place like this, it can't be much fun,

0:44:01 > 0:44:03because it's like you're at work or something, right?

0:44:03 > 0:44:04Are you OK?

0:44:04 > 0:44:05You seem kind of wound up.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07Wound up? No, I'm just, uh, pumped.

0:44:07 > 0:44:08I'm excited, you know?

0:44:08 > 0:44:09Rock solid, ready to go.

0:44:09 > 0:44:10A little bit paranoid,

0:44:10 > 0:44:11but feeling really, really good, you know?

0:44:11 > 0:44:13Can I kiss you? OK.

0:44:13 > 0:44:15Whoo!

0:44:15 > 0:44:16Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

0:44:16 > 0:44:18Watch it, man. Excuse me?

0:44:18 > 0:44:19I said watch it.

0:44:19 > 0:44:20This floor's made for dancing.

0:44:20 > 0:44:22You can tell by the lights.

0:44:22 > 0:44:23You want to tangle, curly?

0:44:23 > 0:44:24Come on, no, no, no. We're going to dance.

0:44:24 > 0:44:26No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

0:44:26 > 0:44:27Curly wants to tangle.

0:44:27 > 0:44:29Do you really want a piece of this?

0:44:29 > 0:44:32Oh, I don't want a piece,

0:44:32 > 0:44:35I want the whole thing.

0:44:35 > 0:44:36SHOUTING

0:44:36 > 0:44:37Yeah!

0:44:37 > 0:44:39Oh, my, folks!

0:44:39 > 0:44:40Please don't do this.

0:44:40 > 0:44:41Hutch, don't worry. I can take this guy.

0:44:41 > 0:44:43This guy's a piece of cake. It's not that.

0:44:43 > 0:44:44You shouldn't do this

0:44:44 > 0:44:45cos it's so incredibly lame.

0:44:45 > 0:44:47Tonight, our very own Dancin' Rick

0:44:47 > 0:44:50is being called out by a new guy, David Stamsky!

0:44:50 > 0:44:51No, no, it's Starsky.

0:44:51 > 0:44:52Right back at you.

0:44:52 > 0:44:54So, folks, if you've got a pair of sunglasses,

0:44:54 > 0:44:55I advise puttin' 'em on,

0:44:55 > 0:44:58cos I got a feeling these two are going to light it up!

0:44:58 > 0:44:59CHEERING

0:44:59 > 0:45:02Boz, reel it in!

0:45:05 > 0:45:07All right, everybody settle down.

0:45:07 > 0:45:09Everybody settle. You know the rules.

0:45:09 > 0:45:10Keep it safe, keep it sexy,

0:45:10 > 0:45:12and above all, turn up the night!

0:45:12 > 0:45:16( "That's The Way I Like It" plays )

0:45:16 > 0:45:17DJ: All right, Dancin' Rick's

0:45:17 > 0:45:18getting warmed up here.

0:45:18 > 0:45:20What's he going to bring out for the appetiser course?

0:45:20 > 0:45:22Oh, it's a little hand over

0:45:22 > 0:45:24hand tug-o-man.

0:45:24 > 0:45:26Right into the centre of the floor.

0:45:26 > 0:45:28Yeah, it's...

0:45:28 > 0:45:30Oh, oh, and that's all he's giving them, folks.

0:45:30 > 0:45:32That's a bucket full of confidence, right there.

0:45:32 > 0:45:33Over to new guy, David Starsky.

0:45:35 > 0:45:39Oh-ho! This guy could be trouble.

0:45:39 > 0:45:40Oh, it's the Wild West.

0:45:40 > 0:45:42Those are six guns full of sexy.

0:45:42 > 0:45:47The good, the bad, and the groovy.

0:45:47 > 0:45:49All right, one, two, three, four, we've got

0:45:49 > 0:45:50disco war, folks.

0:45:52 > 0:45:53Dancin' Rick's going,

0:45:53 > 0:45:55"Hmm, I don't like you, but I respect your moves."

0:45:56 > 0:45:58Here comes Starsky again.

0:45:58 > 0:46:01Oh, driving that disco big rig.

0:46:01 > 0:46:03Shift gears, blow your funky horn.

0:46:03 > 0:46:05Pull it into the truck stop

0:46:05 > 0:46:08and get yourself some scrapple made out of sexy.

0:46:08 > 0:46:09Disco Rick

0:46:09 > 0:46:11brings it right back, and he's not wasting

0:46:11 > 0:46:12any time, folks, it's--

0:46:12 > 0:46:14Oh, from the future

0:46:14 > 0:46:16of 1984, that's a funky disco robot.

0:46:16 > 0:46:18Oh, they're both

0:46:18 > 0:46:19on the floor, folks,

0:46:19 > 0:46:21eye-to-eye-- it's disco Vietnam.

0:46:21 > 0:46:23Neither one's blinking.

0:46:23 > 0:46:24Neither one's backing down.

0:46:24 > 0:46:25Let's see what happens.

0:46:25 > 0:46:26Ooh, angry cat.

0:46:26 > 0:46:28Kitten has claws.

0:46:28 > 0:46:29All right, looks like it's over.

0:46:29 > 0:46:30Remember, two-dollar harvey wall...

0:46:30 > 0:46:31Oh, my God!

0:46:31 > 0:46:33David Starsky

0:46:33 > 0:46:35taking it over the line!

0:46:35 > 0:46:37CHEERING

0:46:38 > 0:46:40Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

0:46:40 > 0:46:42Yeah!

0:46:42 > 0:46:43Whoo!

0:46:43 > 0:46:44How about that?

0:46:44 > 0:46:46Very sexy, very macho, but you know what?

0:46:46 > 0:46:48That's a little too close to call.

0:46:48 > 0:46:49We're going to have to depend

0:46:49 > 0:46:52on our patented American lights applause-o-meter.

0:46:52 > 0:46:54So, let's bring out our combatants, folks.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56Come on, big hand for them.

0:46:56 > 0:46:57Here we go.

0:46:57 > 0:47:00First off,

0:47:00 > 0:47:02over to my man, Dancin' Rick.

0:47:02 > 0:47:04CHEERING

0:47:04 > 0:47:06And over to the new guy,

0:47:06 > 0:47:07David Starsky.

0:47:07 > 0:47:09LOUDER CHEERING

0:47:09 > 0:47:10Yeah!

0:47:10 > 0:47:11Folks, folks...

0:47:11 > 0:47:12pretty close.

0:47:12 > 0:47:14I hate to do this, but I got to give it

0:47:14 > 0:47:15to my man, Dancin' Rick.

0:47:15 > 0:47:17BOOING Yeah!

0:47:17 > 0:47:18What?

0:47:18 > 0:47:20Hey, hey, do it again. That's BS.

0:47:20 > 0:47:21What? I won. Do it again.

0:47:21 > 0:47:22Do the applause thing again.

0:47:23 > 0:47:24It was just for fun, forget...

0:47:24 > 0:47:25I said do it again, liar!

0:47:25 > 0:47:26Not cool, not cool.

0:47:26 > 0:47:27Whoa, whoa. Liar!

0:47:27 > 0:47:28Do it again!

0:47:28 > 0:47:30Hey, hey, settle down.

0:47:30 > 0:47:33GUNFIRE Settle down! I'm a cop!

0:47:33 > 0:47:34It's cool. SCREAMING

0:47:35 > 0:47:36HUTCH: It's OK.

0:47:38 > 0:47:40It's OK, it's OK.

0:47:40 > 0:47:41Calm down, people.

0:47:41 > 0:47:43Bay City PD.

0:47:43 > 0:47:44We got him.

0:47:44 > 0:47:45STARSKY GROANS

0:47:45 > 0:47:47We're going to get you home.

0:47:47 > 0:47:48HE GASPS

0:47:48 > 0:47:49Where am I?

0:47:49 > 0:47:50You were freaking out.

0:47:50 > 0:47:51I had to take you down.

0:47:51 > 0:47:53What?

0:47:55 > 0:47:57HUTCH: Oh, there we go.

0:47:57 > 0:47:58Easy does it.

0:47:58 > 0:48:00Uh-huh, uh-huh, that's the way...

0:48:00 > 0:48:01Here we go.

0:48:02 > 0:48:06Oh... I think I was drugged.

0:48:07 > 0:48:10Sounds like you did some coke.

0:48:12 > 0:48:15I mean, from what I've read about the effects.

0:48:15 > 0:48:17I don't use coke.

0:48:17 > 0:48:18That coffee tonight...

0:48:22 > 0:48:24What is that?

0:48:24 > 0:48:25Sweetener, right?

0:48:25 > 0:48:26That the stuff we got from Earl's?

0:48:26 > 0:48:28What are you doing with this?

0:48:28 > 0:48:29Hey, Hutch...

0:48:29 > 0:48:30Where'd you get this?

0:48:30 > 0:48:31I beat that guy.

0:48:31 > 0:48:32What was that about?

0:48:32 > 0:48:33Sure, you did. You won.

0:48:33 > 0:48:35You won, you danced your heart out.

0:48:35 > 0:48:36And everybody saw it.

0:48:36 > 0:48:37Shh, go to sleep.

0:48:37 > 0:48:38I was robbed.

0:48:38 > 0:48:40I know. We was robbed.

0:48:40 > 0:48:42We was robbed.

0:48:42 > 0:48:44Go to sleep.

0:48:44 > 0:48:46STARSKY GROANS Shh.

0:48:46 > 0:48:48Go to sleep, tiny dancer.

0:48:48 > 0:48:49All right.

0:48:50 > 0:48:52Jesus Christ.

0:48:52 > 0:48:54BOTH SIGH

0:48:54 > 0:48:56Is he OK?

0:48:56 > 0:48:58Oh, yeah, he's OK.

0:48:58 > 0:49:00He just needs to sleep it off.

0:49:00 > 0:49:01Oh...

0:49:01 > 0:49:02Quite a night, huh?

0:49:02 > 0:49:04Oh, you can say that again.

0:49:04 > 0:49:06Yeah.

0:49:06 > 0:49:08Guess it's kind of winding down.

0:49:08 > 0:49:10Well, it doesn't have to be over.

0:49:10 > 0:49:11What do you mean?

0:49:11 > 0:49:13FUNK MUSIC PLAYS

0:49:13 > 0:49:16# They keep trying to tell me... #

0:49:16 > 0:49:17HE CHUCKLES

0:49:17 > 0:49:19Where did that come from?

0:49:19 > 0:49:22# All you want to do is use me... #

0:49:22 > 0:49:24I just want you to know.

0:49:24 > 0:49:27I really like your partner.

0:49:27 > 0:49:29Oh, I know, he's such a good guy.

0:49:29 > 0:49:31This is just, like, whatever.

0:49:31 > 0:49:33Yeah, I don't think we even have to judge it.

0:49:33 > 0:49:34It's just, it's too natural.

0:49:34 > 0:49:35OK.

0:49:35 > 0:49:37Do you guys want to kiss?

0:49:37 > 0:49:41# I-i-i wanna spread the news

0:49:41 > 0:49:44# That if it feels this good getting used

0:49:44 > 0:49:47# Oh, you just keep on usin' me

0:49:50 > 0:49:52# Until you use me up... #

0:49:52 > 0:49:54HUTCH: I hear somebody stirring.

0:49:54 > 0:49:55There he is.

0:49:55 > 0:49:58Ooh, I feel for you.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00Ow!

0:50:00 > 0:50:01LOUD WHIRRING

0:50:01 > 0:50:02Jesus!

0:50:02 > 0:50:03Please, turn that off!

0:50:03 > 0:50:05Easy, killer. Just a blender.

0:50:05 > 0:50:07Oh!

0:50:07 > 0:50:09What time is it?

0:50:09 > 0:50:11Time for Hutch's hangover cure.

0:50:11 > 0:50:13What's in it?

0:50:13 > 0:50:16Pepto-bismol, Aunt Jemima mix,

0:50:16 > 0:50:17Tang, and a little flat Tab, oh...

0:50:17 > 0:50:19most important thing.

0:50:20 > 0:50:22And a raw egg.

0:50:22 > 0:50:24Saves lives. Trust me.

0:50:28 > 0:50:29And?

0:50:32 > 0:50:33It's good.

0:50:33 > 0:50:35What'd I tell you?

0:50:35 > 0:50:37Oh, sorry about last night.

0:50:37 > 0:50:39Thanks for taking care of the girls.

0:50:39 > 0:50:40Hey, no problem.

0:50:40 > 0:50:41Happy to do it.

0:50:41 > 0:50:43What are partners for?

0:50:43 > 0:50:45Oh, speaking of which, uh....

0:50:45 > 0:50:46I checked this stuff out,

0:50:46 > 0:50:48and even though it tastes like sugar,

0:50:48 > 0:50:50that is cocaine.

0:50:50 > 0:50:52You sure?

0:50:53 > 0:50:54I'm sure.

0:50:54 > 0:50:56Stacey's sure. Holly's sure.

0:50:56 > 0:50:58HE CLEARS THROAT

0:50:58 > 0:51:00How do you like your eggs?

0:51:00 > 0:51:01STARSKY: Didn't Huggy mention

0:51:01 > 0:51:04something about a coke deal going down?

0:51:04 > 0:51:05"One for the Guinness book" was how he put it.

0:51:06 > 0:51:08Seems like a pretty big coincidence, huh?

0:51:08 > 0:51:09Hey, why don't you let me drive?

0:51:09 > 0:51:11You don't look so good.

0:51:11 > 0:51:12No, if I'm alive, I drive.

0:51:13 > 0:51:14Rhyming already.

0:51:14 > 0:51:16You must be feeling... Whoa!

0:51:22 > 0:51:23You OK? I'm fine.

0:51:23 > 0:51:25He blew out my fricking window!

0:51:27 > 0:51:28All right, enough with the car already!

0:51:28 > 0:51:29We get it!

0:51:29 > 0:51:32Stop shooting my car!

0:51:32 > 0:51:33OK, cover me.

0:51:33 > 0:51:35Say when. Go!

0:51:38 > 0:51:39HUTCH: Zebra-three to base,

0:51:39 > 0:51:40I want you to run a plate for me.

0:51:40 > 0:51:41Larry-one- apple-nine-

0:51:41 > 0:51:43eight-four.

0:51:43 > 0:51:44Larry-one-apple-nine-

0:51:44 > 0:51:45eight-four.

0:51:46 > 0:51:47Damn it. You OK?

0:51:47 > 0:51:48Oh, look at this!

0:51:48 > 0:51:50This is horrible!

0:51:51 > 0:51:52I mean, what kind of world do we live in

0:51:53 > 0:51:54where somebody does something like this?

0:51:54 > 0:51:56Well, I think he was aiming at us.

0:51:58 > 0:51:59Do you think this is funny?

0:51:59 > 0:52:00Seriously, do you think this is funny?

0:52:00 > 0:52:02DISPATCHER: Zebra-three, we have

0:52:02 > 0:52:04an ID on that plate: Lee M Chau, 1325 western.

0:52:04 > 0:52:07Ready to dish out a little payback?

0:52:08 > 0:52:11JERRY SPEAKS SPANISH

0:52:27 > 0:52:28CLANGING

0:52:37 > 0:52:39SCREAMING

0:52:39 > 0:52:40Freeze!

0:52:40 > 0:52:42Bay City PD!

0:52:43 > 0:52:45What the hell was that?

0:52:45 > 0:52:46I think it's his kid!

0:52:47 > 0:52:48Just sit tight, little boy!

0:52:48 > 0:52:50Oh. Well, well, well.

0:52:50 > 0:52:51This looks familiar.

0:52:51 > 0:52:53Possession of cocaine and attempted murder, huh?

0:52:54 > 0:52:55SCREAMING

0:52:55 > 0:52:57Jesus! Ow! What was that?!

0:52:58 > 0:52:59That ain't a kid!

0:52:59 > 0:53:00It's a tiny little man!

0:53:00 > 0:53:01And he's got knives!

0:53:01 > 0:53:03Goddamn!

0:53:03 > 0:53:04Not my arm! Oh, shit!

0:53:06 > 0:53:07Make him stop!

0:53:07 > 0:53:09Make him stop. Tell him to stop.

0:53:09 > 0:53:11CHAU SPEAKS KOREAN

0:53:11 > 0:53:12Stop it!

0:53:17 > 0:53:19Starsky! Whoa!

0:53:19 > 0:53:20We need to go now! Come on!

0:53:20 > 0:53:22Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

0:53:25 > 0:53:28All right... now...

0:53:28 > 0:53:29OK, time out.

0:53:29 > 0:53:31Let's just take a little break.

0:53:31 > 0:53:32I'm going to get out of here...

0:53:32 > 0:53:32Oh, geez!

0:53:32 > 0:53:34Listen...

0:53:34 > 0:53:35Ow! Oh, mama!

0:53:35 > 0:53:37Ow! What is your problem?

0:53:37 > 0:53:39STARSKY: I said time out!

0:53:39 > 0:53:40HUTCH SCREAMS

0:53:40 > 0:53:42Ow, Hutch.

0:53:42 > 0:53:44A little help.

0:53:44 > 0:53:46Oh, he pinned you good, partner.

0:53:46 > 0:53:48On three-- one, two...

0:53:48 > 0:53:50Ow!

0:53:50 > 0:53:52Time to answer some questions, old man.

0:53:52 > 0:53:54Who's the limber little dwarf you got

0:53:54 > 0:53:56throwing knives at me and my partner?!

0:53:56 > 0:53:58That was no dwarf. That was my son!

0:53:58 > 0:53:59Liar!

0:53:59 > 0:54:00CHAU GRUNTS

0:54:00 > 0:54:02Come on, you're going downtown.

0:54:02 > 0:54:05Let's go, Starsky! On your feet!

0:54:31 > 0:54:34Now... you want to tell me who hired you?

0:54:34 > 0:54:35CHAU CHUCKLES

0:54:35 > 0:54:37We have a saying in Koreatown.

0:54:37 > 0:54:39It goes...

0:54:39 > 0:54:40"Kiss my yellow ass, copper."

0:54:41 > 0:54:43All right, you want to play games?

0:54:43 > 0:54:45I got a game for you, Chau.

0:54:50 > 0:54:51Let's play a little Russian roulette.

0:54:53 > 0:54:56We've got a little saying here in Bay City.

0:54:58 > 0:54:59You cross the line...

0:55:02 > 0:55:03...your nuts are mine.

0:55:03 > 0:55:04Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:55:04 > 0:55:05Whoa, there's really a bullet

0:55:05 > 0:55:06in the gun.

0:55:06 > 0:55:07Yes, I know.

0:55:07 > 0:55:08That is the point of Russian roulette.

0:55:08 > 0:55:10- No, you don't understand. - Come on, you want to play?

0:55:10 > 0:55:10Let's play!

0:55:10 > 0:55:12No, the bullet went back inside!

0:55:12 > 0:55:14BOTH SCREAM

0:55:14 > 0:55:15HAMMER CLICKS

0:55:16 > 0:55:17Your turn! Come on. No! no! no!

0:55:17 > 0:55:18I thought you wanted to play.

0:55:18 > 0:55:19Let's play.

0:55:19 > 0:55:20BOTH SHOUT

0:55:20 > 0:55:22HAMMER CLICKS

0:55:22 > 0:55:23What are you doing? Jesus!

0:55:23 > 0:55:26Our little friend here is about to talk.

0:55:26 > 0:55:29HUTCH SPEAKS KOREAN

0:55:37 > 0:55:39All right, enough with the talking, huh?

0:55:39 > 0:55:41Let's go, right now! What? No!

0:55:41 > 0:55:42GRUNTING

0:55:42 > 0:55:43GUNSHOT

0:55:43 > 0:55:46CHAU PANTS

0:55:46 > 0:55:47You're crazy!

0:55:47 > 0:55:49Are you out of your mind?

0:55:49 > 0:55:51CHAU SHRIEKS

0:55:51 > 0:55:52HUTCH: Calm down.

0:55:52 > 0:55:53CHAU: Calm down?

0:55:53 > 0:55:55He tried to kill me.

0:55:55 > 0:55:56He shoot everything.

0:55:56 > 0:55:58I have heart attack already.

0:55:58 > 0:56:00HUTCH: It's over, it's over.

0:56:00 > 0:56:01Calm down.

0:56:01 > 0:56:06CONVERSE IN KOREAN

0:56:08 > 0:56:10LAUGHING

0:56:10 > 0:56:12What?

0:56:12 > 0:56:13No, nothing, nothing. This guy is funny.

0:56:14 > 0:56:15It's not about you.

0:56:15 > 0:56:17That's great. He can be your new partner.

0:56:17 > 0:56:19Chau and Hutch. Sounds cool.

0:56:19 > 0:56:20Forget it.

0:56:20 > 0:56:23All right, Chau, what else can you tell me

0:56:23 > 0:56:25about the guys that hired you?

0:56:25 > 0:56:26Not much.

0:56:26 > 0:56:27Couple of whities.

0:56:27 > 0:56:30Nice suit. Perry Ellis.

0:56:30 > 0:56:32They pay, I do job.

0:56:32 > 0:56:33What'd they look like?

0:56:33 > 0:56:35I don't know.

0:56:35 > 0:56:36They were white.

0:56:36 > 0:56:38All you guys look alike to me.

0:56:38 > 0:56:39LAUGHING

0:56:39 > 0:56:43That's funny. All you guys look alike to us.

0:56:43 > 0:56:44Orientals.

0:56:44 > 0:56:46So where'd you meet him?

0:56:46 > 0:56:48Well, we met, um...

0:56:48 > 0:56:50How do you say?

0:56:50 > 0:56:52By water.

0:56:52 > 0:56:53At the beach?

0:56:53 > 0:56:54No, no, no, no.

0:56:54 > 0:56:56On water.

0:56:56 > 0:56:58Right, a boat. You met on a boat.

0:56:58 > 0:56:59No, no, no,

0:56:59 > 0:57:00not a boat.

0:57:00 > 0:57:03It's a yacht.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05DISCO MUSIC PLAYS

0:57:05 > 0:57:07# That's the time

0:57:07 > 0:57:09# Yeah, I feel like making

0:57:09 > 0:57:12# Love to you

0:57:12 > 0:57:14# Oh, baby... #

0:57:14 > 0:57:16Come on, y'all!

0:57:16 > 0:57:18# In a restaurant, ah

0:57:18 > 0:57:20# In a topless bar

0:57:20 > 0:57:22# In a high school bus

0:57:22 > 0:57:23# In the back

0:57:23 > 0:57:25# Of your mama's car

0:57:25 > 0:57:27# On a trampoline

0:57:27 > 0:57:29# In the middle of a putting green

0:57:29 > 0:57:31# Anywhere you're near or far

0:57:31 > 0:57:34# Right here at this Bat Mitzvah

0:57:34 > 0:57:35# Ow, that's the time

0:57:35 > 0:57:37# Yeah

0:57:37 > 0:57:39# I feel like making l-o-v-e

0:57:39 > 0:57:41# T-o y-o-u

0:57:41 > 0:57:44# Oh, baby. #

0:57:44 > 0:57:46All right.

0:57:46 > 0:57:47Rock into womanhood, Elizabeth.

0:57:48 > 0:57:50We know that you will.

0:57:50 > 0:57:51All right.

0:57:51 > 0:57:52What's that supposed to mean?

0:57:52 > 0:57:55We have a special delivery for the little lady.

0:57:55 > 0:57:56It's right over here.

0:57:56 > 0:57:58Let's see what's inside.

0:57:58 > 0:58:00DRUM ROLL

0:58:01 > 0:58:02GASPS

0:58:02 > 0:58:04MUSIC: "Send In The Clowns"

0:58:05 > 0:58:08LIGHT APPLAUSE

0:58:08 > 0:58:12# Isn't it rich?

0:58:12 > 0:58:16# Isn't it queer?

0:58:17 > 0:58:20# Me here at last on the ground

0:58:20 > 0:58:22# You in midair... # These pantomimes suck.

0:58:22 > 0:58:25Don't look at me, I didn't hire them.

0:58:25 > 0:58:26Well, who did?

0:58:26 > 0:58:27I don't know.

0:58:27 > 0:58:30# Where are the clowns? #

0:58:30 > 0:58:31These pantomimes aren't very good.

0:58:31 > 0:58:33# Send in the clowns... #

0:58:33 > 0:58:36This must be Reese's big surprise.

0:58:36 > 0:58:37Look at me, guys, I'm a mime, too.

0:58:37 > 0:58:38You know what I mean?

0:58:38 > 0:58:40All I'm saying is, everyone's miming something.

0:58:42 > 0:58:45MUSIC CONTINUES

0:58:45 > 0:58:46OK.

0:58:49 > 0:58:50Reese just left.

0:58:50 > 0:58:51Yeah, I know.

0:58:51 > 0:58:52Stay here, I'm going to follow him.

0:58:52 > 0:58:53No, no, no, you stay and I'll follow him.

0:58:53 > 0:58:55No, you stay, you got to keep them occupied.

0:58:55 > 0:58:56You're doing great. They love you.

0:58:56 > 0:59:03MUSIC CONTINUES

0:59:03 > 0:59:05WOMAN COUGHS

0:59:07 > 0:59:11I might do the glass wall one more time.

0:59:12 > 0:59:14GIRL BOOS

0:59:14 > 0:59:15I think it's terrific.

0:59:15 > 0:59:16I don't know, tell the guy you like him.

0:59:16 > 0:59:18Then ask him to sit next to you at the cafeteria.

0:59:18 > 0:59:19How do I know how that works?

0:59:19 > 0:59:21What am I, your counsellor?

0:59:21 > 0:59:23Yeah, I'd like to get to the information that I need, OK?

0:59:25 > 0:59:26BIG EARL: 'It's done.'

0:59:26 > 0:59:29My buddy delivered the package. OK?

0:59:29 > 0:59:30It's in your garage.

0:59:30 > 0:59:32It's locked up nice and tight,

0:59:32 > 0:59:33'in case anybody gets nosy.'

0:59:33 > 0:59:35REESE: Is he positive that no-one saw him?

0:59:35 > 0:59:37'Not a soul.'

0:59:37 > 0:59:39- Now, about my fee. - 'You'll be paid as soon'

0:59:39 > 0:59:40as I've checked it out, all right?

0:59:40 > 0:59:41'Now, if you'll excuse me,

0:59:41 > 0:59:43'I got to get back to my daughter's Bat Mitzvah.'

0:59:43 > 0:59:44- 'Reese, wait.' - What?

0:59:44 > 0:59:45SIGHS

0:59:45 > 0:59:47- Mazel tov, man. - 'Thanks.'

0:59:48 > 0:59:49They grow up so fast.

0:59:49 > 0:59:51Go play dragon. I got to go.

0:59:51 > 0:59:52'All right. Big kisses.'

0:59:54 > 0:59:56Thank you so much, everybody, for coming out tonight

0:59:56 > 0:59:58to celebrate my little girl's Bat Mitzvah.

0:59:58 > 1:00:02I guess I should say young woman.

1:00:02 > 1:00:03It'll take me a while to get used to that.

1:00:03 > 1:00:04This guy's good. It's pretty sweet.

1:00:04 > 1:00:06It's in his garage. What?

1:00:06 > 1:00:07The cocaine. It's in his garage.

1:00:07 > 1:00:09Are you sure? Yeah. We take him down now.

1:00:09 > 1:00:10Come on. Let's go.

1:00:10 > 1:00:11# My eyes adore you... #

1:00:11 > 1:00:12All right, cut the music.

1:00:12 > 1:00:13Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Cut the music.

1:00:13 > 1:00:15Hey, guys.

1:00:15 > 1:00:16I think I speak for everyone

1:00:16 > 1:00:18when I say we're a little mimed out.

1:00:18 > 1:00:19Yeah, well, don't worry. Show's over, Feldman.

1:00:19 > 1:00:21HUTCH: Putting you under arrest

1:00:21 > 1:00:22for possession with intent to sell.

1:00:22 > 1:00:23This man's a drug dealer.

1:00:24 > 1:00:25GUESTS GASP AND MURMUR

1:00:25 > 1:00:26OK, I think what we have here is...

1:00:26 > 1:00:27Maybe you didn't hear us!

1:00:27 > 1:00:29HUTCH: Take it easy, everybody. Everything will be OK.

1:00:29 > 1:00:31You're making the biggest mistake of your life, clown.

1:00:31 > 1:00:32No. You hear me?

1:00:32 > 1:00:33You're the one making the mistake, pusher man!

1:00:35 > 1:00:37Kevin, call my attorney, please. Ridiculous.

1:00:37 > 1:00:40Open it.

1:00:40 > 1:00:41My hands are tied.

1:00:41 > 1:00:42Fine.

1:00:42 > 1:00:43Allow me.

1:00:45 > 1:00:47Now, let this be a lesson to everyone, especially you kids.

1:00:48 > 1:00:50Don't be fooled by the first-class suit and the big house.

1:00:50 > 1:00:54Reese Feldman's nothing more than a two-bit drug dealer.

1:00:54 > 1:00:56You want some proof?

1:00:56 > 1:00:57Here's some proof.

1:01:01 > 1:01:03This is a bad man.

1:01:03 > 1:01:05And this is what bad men do.

1:01:07 > 1:01:09GIRL: A pony!

1:01:09 > 1:01:11Happy Bat Mitzvah, baby. I love you.

1:01:11 > 1:01:12PONY WHINNIES

1:01:12 > 1:01:14GUESTS SCREAM

1:01:17 > 1:01:19It's all right, baby.

1:01:19 > 1:01:20It's OK. Come here, come here.

1:01:20 > 1:01:22We'll get you a new pony.

1:01:22 > 1:01:23We'll get you another one.

1:01:24 > 1:01:25Hey there, little fella.

1:01:25 > 1:01:27You OK?

1:01:31 > 1:01:34Mr Feldman, on behalf

1:01:34 > 1:01:37of the entire Bay City Police Department,

1:01:37 > 1:01:39I sincerely apologise.

1:01:39 > 1:01:40That's OK, captain.

1:01:40 > 1:01:42My attorney here would love

1:01:42 > 1:01:45to take them down, but I know that,

1:01:45 > 1:01:46in the bottom of their hearts,

1:01:46 > 1:01:49these two detectives were just trying to protect me

1:01:49 > 1:01:50and my family.

1:01:50 > 1:01:53I got you.

1:01:53 > 1:01:54Thank you.

1:01:56 > 1:01:58I respect your attitude,

1:01:58 > 1:02:01but you can be sure it will never happen again,

1:02:01 > 1:02:03because, as of right now,

1:02:03 > 1:02:05both of you are suspended indefinitely.

1:02:05 > 1:02:06Look, cap, this was my fault.

1:02:06 > 1:02:08Come on. There's no...

1:02:08 > 1:02:09No, no, no, don't drag Hutch into this, all right?

1:02:09 > 1:02:10I shot the pony.

1:02:10 > 1:02:12Since when do you care what happens to Hutch?

1:02:12 > 1:02:14You filed for a transfer two weeks ago,

1:02:14 > 1:02:16citing his behaviour as a reason.

1:02:16 > 1:02:18Captain. Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:02:18 > 1:02:19Check this out.

1:02:19 > 1:02:22Sounds like you're quite the crime fighter, Hutchinson.

1:02:22 > 1:02:23You filed for a transfer?

1:02:23 > 1:02:25Guns and badges right here, on my desk.

1:02:29 > 1:02:31Your mother would be very disappointed in you.

1:02:45 > 1:02:47SIGHS

1:02:47 > 1:02:48Man, I've really had it with that Doby.

1:02:48 > 1:02:50I mean, it's enough, already, you know?

1:02:50 > 1:02:53"Cavorting with nefarious characters."

1:02:53 > 1:02:55"Conduct unbecoming of an officer."

1:02:55 > 1:02:57Look, I wrote that thing two weeks ago, OK?

1:02:57 > 1:02:59Things are really cool with us now. I...

1:02:59 > 1:03:00Hey, did you go through my locker?

1:03:00 > 1:03:01No.

1:03:01 > 1:03:02You went through my locker.

1:03:02 > 1:03:04I mean, I might have looked inside of it

1:03:04 > 1:03:05when it was already open, but...

1:03:05 > 1:03:07Look, if you've got a problem with someone,

1:03:07 > 1:03:08you tell it to their face.

1:03:08 > 1:03:09You come to them as a man.

1:03:09 > 1:03:11You don't go behind their back and write a thesis,

1:03:11 > 1:03:13and try to get transferred to another precinct.

1:03:20 > 1:03:22Backstabber!

1:03:22 > 1:03:25Yeah, don't anybody work with David Starsky.

1:03:25 > 1:03:27He'll stab you in the back.

1:03:28 > 1:03:30You've got to let this go, OK?

1:03:30 > 1:03:32We got so lucky, these guys screwed up.

1:03:32 > 1:03:33They can't even touch us now.

1:03:33 > 1:03:35It is over. I don't care.

1:03:35 > 1:03:37No one dresses up like a mime and embarrasses me

1:03:38 > 1:03:39at my daughter's Bat Mitzvah.

1:03:39 > 1:03:41In my own house, no less.

1:03:41 > 1:03:43Let's have some perspective here, OK?

1:03:43 > 1:03:44We're almost finished.

1:03:44 > 1:03:46We're a few days away from closing a 35 million deal.

1:03:46 > 1:03:47Why don't you let it slide?

1:03:47 > 1:03:49Yeah, I'll let it slide...

1:03:49 > 1:03:50when they're dead.

1:03:50 > 1:03:51Mm.

1:03:51 > 1:03:53Why did I get so lucky?

1:03:53 > 1:03:54KITTY: I don't know.

1:03:54 > 1:03:56I just love when you talk so tough.

1:03:56 > 1:03:57Of course you do, baby.

1:03:57 > 1:03:59That's why you're my girlfriend on the side.

1:03:59 > 1:04:01GIGGLES

1:04:01 > 1:04:03MUSIC: "We've Only Just Begun" by The Carpenters

1:04:04 > 1:04:10# We've only just begun

1:04:10 > 1:04:12# To live

1:04:12 > 1:04:18# White lace and promises

1:04:18 > 1:04:23# A kiss for luck and we're on our way

1:04:23 > 1:04:26# We've only begun

1:04:26 > 1:04:34# Before the risin' sun, we fly

1:04:34 > 1:04:40# So many roads to choose

1:04:40 > 1:04:44# We start off walkin' and learn to run

1:04:45 > 1:04:51# And yet, we've just begun

1:04:51 > 1:04:56# Sharin' horizons that are new to us

1:04:57 > 1:05:02# Watchin' the signs along the way

1:05:02 > 1:05:06# Talkin' it over, just the two of us

1:05:08 > 1:05:13# Workin' together, day to day... #

1:05:13 > 1:05:14Ruin me!

1:05:14 > 1:05:16LAUGHS

1:05:19 > 1:05:21Excuse me, Smoky.

1:05:21 > 1:05:22Let me have a minute with my friend.

1:05:22 > 1:05:24He didn't care if he got ruined.

1:05:24 > 1:05:26That was the whole point of the episode.

1:05:26 > 1:05:27He didn't... Did you see?

1:05:27 > 1:05:28Look here, Hutch,

1:05:28 > 1:05:30you gonna have to lay up off of this juice.

1:05:30 > 1:05:31You done had too much to drink.

1:05:31 > 1:05:32Come on.

1:05:32 > 1:05:34Feel like a million bucks.

1:05:34 > 1:05:36Just laughing, having a good time.

1:05:36 > 1:05:38Look, man, it ain't even funny no more.

1:05:38 > 1:05:39There used to be a time around here

1:05:39 > 1:05:41when you peed against the wall,

1:05:41 > 1:05:42you did it outside.

1:05:42 > 1:05:45HUFFS

1:05:45 > 1:05:47Lighten up, it's Friday night.

1:05:48 > 1:05:49OK, it's a bar.

1:05:49 > 1:05:50Hutch, it's Wednesday afternoon, man.

1:05:50 > 1:05:51Snap out of it.

1:05:53 > 1:05:55What time is it?

1:05:55 > 1:05:56It's 5, man.

1:05:56 > 1:05:58Ah, shit!

1:05:58 > 1:05:59I'm supposed to pick up Willis at 3.

1:06:00 > 1:06:02Uh, Huggy, I'm sorry, we...

1:06:04 > 1:06:05Hutch!

1:06:05 > 1:06:08Hey, Hutch! you home?

1:06:08 > 1:06:11You were supposed to pick me up at 3 today.

1:06:11 > 1:06:12What happened?

1:06:13 > 1:06:14Deadbeat!

1:06:29 > 1:06:32SIREN WAILS

1:06:34 > 1:06:37HUGGY: "If you could have yourself

1:06:37 > 1:06:39"one wish, what would it be for?

1:06:39 > 1:06:41"Mama put the salt back on the straight line

1:06:41 > 1:06:43"with the pepper and got that look on her face

1:06:43 > 1:06:45"like when she be telling me that old wise stuff.

1:06:45 > 1:06:48"She told Nobie that he should wish for..."

1:06:48 > 1:06:49Good friends.

1:06:49 > 1:06:51"Free to be you and me."

1:06:51 > 1:06:53That's what Mama tells Nobie to wish for, right?

1:06:53 > 1:06:54Well, well, well.

1:06:54 > 1:06:56How are you doing, Willis?

1:06:56 > 1:06:57I'm pretty good.

1:06:57 > 1:06:58Yeah? Got you something.

1:06:59 > 1:07:01Damn.

1:07:01 > 1:07:03A wrist rocket.

1:07:03 > 1:07:05Watch out with that thing. Very powerful.

1:07:05 > 1:07:06WILLIS: Cool.

1:07:06 > 1:07:07Thanks, Starsky.

1:07:07 > 1:07:10Now, I'm pretty sure those are illegal, Willis,

1:07:10 > 1:07:11and even though you're my friend,

1:07:11 > 1:07:13might have to report you to Doby.

1:07:14 > 1:07:15All right,

1:07:15 > 1:07:17OK, look, Hutch, can we...?

1:07:19 > 1:07:21Is it all right if I talk to you outside

1:07:21 > 1:07:22for a second?

1:07:22 > 1:07:24No, I better stay here with the kid.

1:07:24 > 1:07:26All right.

1:07:26 > 1:07:27Hey, feel better, all right?

1:07:27 > 1:07:29You got it.

1:07:30 > 1:07:33SCOFFS Can you believe that guy? What a...

1:07:33 > 1:07:35Hutch, the man was trying to apologise.

1:07:35 > 1:07:36HUGGY: Dig this, man.

1:07:36 > 1:07:41Someone once said, "To err is human, to forgive, divine."

1:07:43 > 1:07:45What idiot said that?

1:07:45 > 1:07:49I believe that was God, the greatest mack of all.

1:07:50 > 1:07:51SNIFFS

1:07:51 > 1:07:53David, David.

1:07:54 > 1:07:55Yeah.

1:07:55 > 1:07:58OK, so what'd you want to say?

1:07:58 > 1:07:59Nothing, nothing.

1:07:59 > 1:08:01Apparently, you know, you're too busy,

1:08:01 > 1:08:02and I'm not worth it, so, it's fine.

1:08:02 > 1:08:03No, really, it's good. Huh?

1:08:03 > 1:08:05Come on, come on, let's hear it.

1:08:05 > 1:08:06There's nothing that, you know...

1:08:06 > 1:08:08I just, I just, I just was going to say that I, um,

1:08:08 > 1:08:09I think you're...

1:08:09 > 1:08:11I think you're a good cop.

1:08:11 > 1:08:12Hey, well, thank you.

1:08:12 > 1:08:17And, um...I am... sorry about...

1:08:17 > 1:08:18what I wrote in the report.

1:08:18 > 1:08:20Yeah, cos I'm telling you, that...

1:08:20 > 1:08:21I felt like I had just gotten, like, my world rocked.

1:08:21 > 1:08:22It's like...

1:08:22 > 1:08:24Are you crying?

1:08:24 > 1:08:25What's that?

1:08:25 > 1:08:26Are you crying?

1:08:26 > 1:08:29Am I crying? No, I'm not crying. You're crying.

1:08:29 > 1:08:31It's OK to cry. People cry.

1:08:31 > 1:08:32It's great, but I'm not crying.

1:08:32 > 1:08:33I don't... I'm not a crier.

1:08:33 > 1:08:34I don't cry. I, you know, I work out.

1:08:34 > 1:08:36I have hobbies. I don't, I don't...

1:08:36 > 1:08:38Come here, come here.

1:08:39 > 1:08:40I forgive you, all right?

1:08:40 > 1:08:41OK.

1:08:41 > 1:08:43(I forgive you.)

1:08:43 > 1:08:44STARSKY SOBS

1:08:44 > 1:08:45OK, OK, that's probably enough.

1:08:46 > 1:08:47That's enough.

1:08:47 > 1:08:48All right?

1:08:48 > 1:08:49OK, are we good?

1:08:49 > 1:08:51Yeah, I'm good.

1:08:51 > 1:08:53OK, cos we got some people that want us dead.

1:08:53 > 1:08:55OK, they took a shot at you, they tried to blow up my house,

1:08:55 > 1:08:57almost killed little Willis.

1:08:57 > 1:08:59We gotta do... SNIFFS

1:08:59 > 1:09:00Now what?

1:09:00 > 1:09:01Nothing. I'm just excited.

1:09:01 > 1:09:03I want to get these... Let's get these scumbags!

1:09:03 > 1:09:05Come on, that's what I want to see.

1:09:05 > 1:09:06Good. Yes!

1:09:06 > 1:09:09What are you doing? Let's go.

1:09:09 > 1:09:11MUSIC: "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton

1:09:11 > 1:09:13# If you wanna hang out

1:09:13 > 1:09:15# You've got to take her out

1:09:15 > 1:09:17# Cocaine

1:09:19 > 1:09:22# If you wanna get down

1:09:22 > 1:09:24# Down on the ground

1:09:24 > 1:09:27# Cocaine

1:09:28 > 1:09:32# She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

1:09:33 > 1:09:34# Cocaine

1:09:38 > 1:09:39# If you've got bad news

1:09:39 > 1:09:42# You wanna kick them blues

1:09:42 > 1:09:43# Cocaine

1:09:46 > 1:09:48# When your day is done

1:09:48 > 1:09:51# And you wanna run

1:09:51 > 1:09:52# Cocaine

1:09:54 > 1:09:58# She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

1:09:58 > 1:10:01# Cocaine... #

1:10:01 > 1:10:03WHISTLES

1:10:03 > 1:10:05Man, tell you that.

1:10:05 > 1:10:08Look, I'm telling you, it's right here.

1:10:08 > 1:10:10Reese is meeting with the biggest drug dealers in Bay City

1:10:10 > 1:10:12in back alleys all over the place.

1:10:12 > 1:10:14Mm, but talking isn't illegal.

1:10:14 > 1:10:16Yeah.

1:10:16 > 1:10:17The guy's not stupid.

1:10:17 > 1:10:18He knows how to stay clean.

1:10:18 > 1:10:20Dirty ones always do.

1:10:20 > 1:10:21SIGHS We got to do something.

1:10:21 > 1:10:23We got to find a way to get close to him,

1:10:23 > 1:10:24get inside and hear what's going on.

1:10:24 > 1:10:25It's gonna be tough.

1:10:25 > 1:10:26The guy knows what we look like.

1:10:26 > 1:10:30He doesn't know what Huggy Bear looks like.

1:10:30 > 1:10:32SLURPS

1:10:32 > 1:10:34Man, this is a bunch of crap.

1:10:34 > 1:10:35I am an urban informant.

1:10:35 > 1:10:37I am not a snitch.

1:10:37 > 1:10:38Come on, Huggy, what's the difference?

1:10:38 > 1:10:40A snitch wears a wire.

1:10:40 > 1:10:43A snitch is the scum of the information industry.

1:10:43 > 1:10:45Oh. Wait a minute. A snitch has no soul.

1:10:45 > 1:10:47Ow! Damn, man, that shit hurt.

1:10:47 > 1:10:48I'm sorry.

1:10:48 > 1:10:49You got to be more careful. I know.

1:10:49 > 1:10:51Look, Huggy, we wouldn't ask you to do this

1:10:51 > 1:10:53unless it was really important.

1:10:53 > 1:10:54I'm gonna owe you one.

1:10:54 > 1:10:55No, you're gonna owe me more than one, man.

1:10:55 > 1:10:57Well, let's slow down with the scorekeeping,

1:10:57 > 1:10:58cos I might have to start remembering

1:10:58 > 1:11:00some of the stuff I've overlooked over the years

1:11:00 > 1:11:02and then mention it to my partner here.

1:11:02 > 1:11:05How'd that be?

1:11:07 > 1:11:08All right, man.

1:11:08 > 1:11:10Get this over with. Hurry up. All right, all right.

1:11:10 > 1:11:11Good. We're done.

1:11:11 > 1:11:13All right, let's get that outfit.

1:11:13 > 1:11:14HUGGY: Outfit?!

1:11:14 > 1:11:16Ta-dum.

1:11:16 > 1:11:17Oh, no, man.

1:11:17 > 1:11:19You know Huggy Bear wouldn't wear that, man.

1:11:19 > 1:11:21Y'all gonna have to come up with something better than that.

1:11:21 > 1:11:23Y'all got to take that shit back to Florida.

1:11:23 > 1:11:24That ain't me, baby.

1:11:30 > 1:11:32REESE: Mr Casual. So nice of you to join us.

1:11:32 > 1:11:34Hey, sorry about that, sir.

1:11:35 > 1:11:37What would you say this is?

1:11:38 > 1:11:39Uh, golf?

1:11:39 > 1:11:41Real funny, Amos.

1:11:42 > 1:11:43Give me the nine iron.

1:11:49 > 1:11:51Where the hell's my nine iron?

1:11:51 > 1:11:52Well, I was gonna bring the other bag...

1:11:52 > 1:11:55Let me explain something to you, all right?

1:11:55 > 1:11:58You are in charge of this area right here.

1:11:58 > 1:12:00The clubs come out, but they gotta go back in.

1:12:00 > 1:12:03Now, I realise this is a very complex procedure,

1:12:03 > 1:12:05but it's up to you to manage the whole business.

1:12:05 > 1:12:06Do you got that, Nipsy?

1:12:06 > 1:12:07HUGGY: Yes, sir.

1:12:07 > 1:12:08REESE: I should make you run your ass

1:12:08 > 1:12:10'back to the driving range and get it.

1:12:10 > 1:12:13'Just give me the wedge.'

1:12:17 > 1:12:18Three wood?

1:12:18 > 1:12:20My man gave me a three wood.

1:12:20 > 1:12:22'Do you even know what a pitching wedge is?

1:12:22 > 1:12:24'Are you even a real caddie'

1:12:24 > 1:12:25Come on.

1:12:25 > 1:12:26HUGGY: Look, man,

1:12:26 > 1:12:30this grass is Alabama creeping bend,

1:12:30 > 1:12:33'as opposed to Georgia creeping bend.'

1:12:33 > 1:12:35It's lighter.

1:12:35 > 1:12:37KEVIN: Lighter meaning faster?

1:12:37 > 1:12:39Exactly.

1:12:42 > 1:12:44Hold this.

1:12:49 > 1:12:51KEVIN: Look at that. Good shot!

1:12:56 > 1:12:58You know a lot about golf.

1:12:58 > 1:13:00I know even more about grass.

1:13:00 > 1:13:01I don't question that.

1:13:01 > 1:13:03REESE: 'That was a great shot. Don't even start.'

1:13:03 > 1:13:04KEVIN: 'Yeah, fine, whatever.

1:13:04 > 1:13:06'Back to business. The stuff...'

1:13:06 > 1:13:07Yeah.

1:13:07 > 1:13:08..is all ready to be moved, OK?

1:13:08 > 1:13:10All two tons of it.

1:13:10 > 1:13:11We just need to be at the banquet by 2pm, right?

1:13:11 > 1:13:12Is there anything else?

1:13:12 > 1:13:14No, just stay calm and...

1:13:14 > 1:13:15What, are we dating?

1:13:15 > 1:13:17Why are you standing so close to me?

1:13:17 > 1:13:18Back off.

1:13:18 > 1:13:19It's cool, baby.

1:13:21 > 1:13:23What is your deal?

1:13:25 > 1:13:26The Nearly There Banquet.

1:13:26 > 1:13:29Remember, he gave me the invite? It's tomorrow.

1:13:29 > 1:13:31How's he gonna move two tons of coke at a banquet?

1:13:31 > 1:13:33I don't know, but we got to be there.

1:13:33 > 1:13:34No. He'll kill us if he sees us.

1:13:37 > 1:13:40You want to use my wig guy.

1:13:40 > 1:13:41Ha-ha!

1:13:41 > 1:13:44MUSIC: "Love will keep us together"

1:13:47 > 1:13:51# Love, love will keep us together

1:13:52 > 1:13:55# Think of me babe, whenever

1:13:55 > 1:13:59# Some sweet-talking girl comes along

1:13:59 > 1:14:01# Singing her song

1:14:01 > 1:14:03# Don't mess around

1:14:03 > 1:14:05# You just got to be strong

1:14:05 > 1:14:09# Just stop, cos I really love you

1:14:09 > 1:14:12# Stop, I've been thinking of you

1:14:12 > 1:14:20Look in my heart and let love keep us together

1:14:22 > 1:14:27# You, you belong to me now... #

1:14:27 > 1:14:29Hello, sir.

1:14:29 > 1:14:31May I check your briefcase?

1:14:31 > 1:14:34Oh, yeah.

1:14:34 > 1:14:36Thanks a lot.

1:14:43 > 1:14:44Thank you very much.

1:14:44 > 1:14:48Now, what you want to do is take this ticket stub.

1:14:48 > 1:14:50It's for the raffle.

1:14:50 > 1:14:51And see that car up on stage?

1:14:51 > 1:14:53# ..Together... #

1:14:53 > 1:14:56There's seven of them, all up for grabs,

1:14:56 > 1:14:58with plenty of trunk space.

1:15:01 > 1:15:02HE LAUGHS

1:15:02 > 1:15:04Oh, trunk space. I get it.

1:15:04 > 1:15:06Very good, very good.

1:15:06 > 1:15:08Thank you very much.

1:15:08 > 1:15:09# ...Look in my heart and let love

1:15:09 > 1:15:16# Keep us together, whatever

1:15:16 > 1:15:18# I will, I will, I will... #

1:15:19 > 1:15:22STARSKY PUTTING ON A DEEP VOICE: That's what I'm talking about.

1:15:22 > 1:15:24There we go. What do you think?

1:15:26 > 1:15:27Oh, I love it. Great stuff.

1:15:27 > 1:15:31You look just like a rich cowboy who came riding in off the farm.

1:15:31 > 1:15:33Hey, do me a favour. Tip your hat forward.

1:15:33 > 1:15:34No, I like it where it is.

1:15:34 > 1:15:36No, seriously, come on, do it. Do it.

1:15:36 > 1:15:38Will you, will you stop with that?

1:15:38 > 1:15:40That voice makes you sound crazy.

1:15:40 > 1:15:43It does not make me sound crazy. It makes me sound like Maury Finkel.

1:15:43 > 1:15:44Founder of Finkel Fixtures,

1:15:44 > 1:15:45biggest lighting fixture chain in the Southland.

1:15:45 > 1:15:48Oh, it's a little voice and a character.

1:15:48 > 1:15:50You got a whole back story, that's good.

1:15:50 > 1:15:51Yeah, little touches, you know, little details.

1:15:51 > 1:15:53You want to make the character real. What's your character?

1:15:53 > 1:15:55Well, I don't really...

1:15:55 > 1:15:58I don't really have, a character. I don't really do voices.

1:15:58 > 1:16:00Hutch, what are you talking about? We're going upstairs.

1:16:00 > 1:16:01Half those people will recognise us

1:16:01 > 1:16:02if we don't have a character.

1:16:02 > 1:16:03I mean, come on, think of something.

1:16:03 > 1:16:05This is it. OK, OK.

1:16:05 > 1:16:06Buck up, let's do it.

1:16:06 > 1:16:09How are you? How's it going?

1:16:10 > 1:16:11All right.

1:16:11 > 1:16:13How you doing? All right.

1:16:13 > 1:16:15HOLLY LAUGHS Ooh, look at these two hot chickens.

1:16:15 > 1:16:18Finkel wants some dinkle. Give it to me. Huh?

1:16:18 > 1:16:19Come on. Do it.

1:16:19 > 1:16:23Lay it on, right here. Do it. Do it.

1:16:23 > 1:16:25He means a kiss. We're doing little voices. Undercover.

1:16:25 > 1:16:26Come on, sweetie.

1:16:26 > 1:16:27OK.

1:16:27 > 1:16:29Oh, that's a sweet little pucker.

1:16:29 > 1:16:30I love it.

1:16:30 > 1:16:32Hi. Can I get you two a drink? You sure can, sweetheart.

1:16:32 > 1:16:35Johnnie red neat, OK? Do it. Do it.

1:16:35 > 1:16:38All right. And you?

1:16:41 > 1:16:42Do it.

1:16:42 > 1:16:44Bacardi and cola. Do it. Do it.

1:16:44 > 1:16:46OK. I'll be right back.

1:16:46 > 1:16:47(What are you doing?)

1:16:47 > 1:16:49What? What was that?

1:16:49 > 1:16:51You just stole my voice.

1:16:51 > 1:16:52No, I didn't. Yes, you did.

1:16:52 > 1:16:53You gotta come up with your own voice, OK?

1:16:53 > 1:16:54That's my thing. What am I supposed to do?

1:16:54 > 1:16:56I don't have a great, cool little voice like you do.

1:16:56 > 1:16:58You come up with your own character.

1:16:58 > 1:16:59You're a Texas oil tycoon guy.

1:16:59 > 1:17:00You have, like, a moustache...

1:17:00 > 1:17:02and like a funny Southern... Don't shame me.

1:17:02 > 1:17:05REESE: I'm sorry to interrupt everyone, but if you could hustle back...

1:17:05 > 1:17:06All right, let's sit down.

1:17:06 > 1:17:08..so we can, uh, get down to business,

1:17:08 > 1:17:10and then get back to the business of gettin' down.

1:17:10 > 1:17:13Yeah, now that's what I'm talking about. Let's get down!

1:17:13 > 1:17:15LAUGHTER

1:17:15 > 1:17:17REESE: Captain Doby, you're not right.

1:17:19 > 1:17:20But today is right.

1:17:20 > 1:17:22Can I see a show of hands?

1:17:22 > 1:17:24I'm talking to everyone in this room.

1:17:25 > 1:17:28How many of us have made a mistake?

1:17:28 > 1:17:29STARSKY: Guilty. Yeah.

1:17:29 > 1:17:31You know, I believe it was our buddy,

1:17:31 > 1:17:35Bill Shakespeare, who said, "To err is human,

1:17:35 > 1:17:39"but to forgive, well, that's right on."

1:17:39 > 1:17:41And that's exactly why we're here tonight.

1:17:41 > 1:17:44Because everyone out there deserves a second chance.

1:17:44 > 1:17:45Everyone.

1:17:45 > 1:17:46APPLAUSE

1:17:46 > 1:17:47REESE: Thank you.

1:17:47 > 1:17:49I didn't say it. Bill Shakespeare did.

1:17:51 > 1:17:53I recognise some of these guys from our surveillance.

1:17:53 > 1:17:54I know.

1:17:54 > 1:17:56Check out the guy behind us from the alley.

1:17:56 > 1:17:57Already did.

1:17:57 > 1:18:00Do you think he's got the stuff here?

1:18:01 > 1:18:03Where?

1:18:03 > 1:18:04REESE: I'd like to thank the folks

1:18:04 > 1:18:05over at Bay City Volkswagen

1:18:05 > 1:18:07for donating seven brand-new cars

1:18:07 > 1:18:11to our annual fund-raising raffle.

1:18:11 > 1:18:12Thank you, Bay City Volkswagen.

1:18:12 > 1:18:16OK, everybody, go ahead, > pull out your ticket stubs.

1:18:16 > 1:18:18I hope you held on to them.

1:18:18 > 1:18:20I'd hate to have your number called and have you be left behind.

1:18:20 > 1:18:22Because this train's leaving the station.

1:18:31 > 1:18:32Uh, tonight's first winner...

1:18:32 > 1:18:34Um...63.

1:18:34 > 1:18:35Hot damn!

1:18:35 > 1:18:37That baby's mine! Congratulations.

1:18:37 > 1:18:38That's one of his guys.

1:18:39 > 1:18:39Thank you very much.

1:18:40 > 1:18:41If you could just wait here. Thank you.

1:18:41 > 1:18:42We got a winner, guys.

1:18:42 > 1:18:43You got a new car owner. Let him hear it.

1:18:43 > 1:18:45He took the bus here today.

1:18:45 > 1:18:47The car. Let's keep it moving. >

1:18:47 > 1:18:48STARSKY: Cocaine is in the car.

1:18:48 > 1:18:49He's doing it right in front of everybody.

1:18:49 > 1:18:51Come on, he's not that stupid.

1:18:51 > 1:18:53No, but he's that arrogant. Trust me.

1:18:53 > 1:18:55Tonight's second winner, number 1-1-7.

1:18:55 > 1:18:57Go! Right on! Yeah!

1:18:57 > 1:18:58Yee-hah!

1:18:58 > 1:19:00Whoo! Yes!

1:19:00 > 1:19:01APPLAUSE

1:19:01 > 1:19:02Thank you very much.

1:19:02 > 1:19:06Sit. Now. Do it. Do it!

1:19:06 > 1:19:07Old Shakes McGinty did it!

1:19:07 > 1:19:10- Yes! Unbelievable. - This is incredible.

1:19:10 > 1:19:13I'm a rich man, and I'm gonna kiss ya.

1:19:13 > 1:19:14Get your hands off, bro.

1:19:14 > 1:19:15I said I don't, I, uh, wow!

1:19:15 > 1:19:17STARSKY: My friend won. I can't believe it.

1:19:17 > 1:19:18Give him the car. Come on, do it.

1:19:18 > 1:19:20Do what? Seriously, give him the car.

1:19:20 > 1:19:21The kid's from Texas.

1:19:21 > 1:19:22I don't even know if he has a licence.

1:19:22 > 1:19:23He rides a horse down there, for God's sake.

1:19:23 > 1:19:25- Excuse me, you have a ticket? - It's wonderful.

1:19:25 > 1:19:26I need a ticket to give you the car.

1:19:26 > 1:19:28Aw, come on, Hoss, you got to trust the kid for once.

1:19:28 > 1:19:31I can't, cowboy. I need to see the ticket to make sure it matches.

1:19:31 > 1:19:32Do me a favour. Pop the trunk.

1:19:32 > 1:19:33Let's get a whiff of that new car smell. Come on.

1:19:33 > 1:19:35Yeah, who wants a whiff of that new car smell?

1:19:35 > 1:19:36Yeah, yeah, let's smell it.

1:19:36 > 1:19:39That's what I'm talking about. Come on, pop the trunk.

1:19:39 > 1:19:41Seriously. Do it. Do it.

1:19:42 > 1:19:44Do it.

1:19:44 > 1:19:47Listen, jackass, either give me a ticket,

1:19:47 > 1:19:49or get the hell off the stage. You dig that?

1:19:49 > 1:19:50GUESTS GASP

1:19:50 > 1:19:52Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.

1:19:52 > 1:19:53Pop the trunk, candyman.

1:19:53 > 1:19:56You heard him.

1:19:56 > 1:19:58Pop it.

1:19:58 > 1:19:59DOBY: What the hell

1:19:59 > 1:20:00are you two doing?

1:20:00 > 1:20:01Pop it!

1:20:01 > 1:20:04You screwed up once already, Starsky.

1:20:07 > 1:20:10Like you said, Feldman, everyone deserves a second chance.

1:20:13 > 1:20:15HUTCH: Whoa, what have we here?

1:20:15 > 1:20:17This look familiar?

1:20:18 > 1:20:20Some cocaine.

1:20:20 > 1:20:22Captain Doby, I suggest you take this to the lab,

1:20:22 > 1:20:23get it analysed this time...

1:20:23 > 1:20:25Hutch! All right, freeze!

1:20:25 > 1:20:26All right, everybody, freeze!

1:20:26 > 1:20:28Put your hands where I can see them!

1:20:28 > 1:20:29Do it now!

1:20:29 > 1:20:30You relax, pal. Relax.

1:20:30 > 1:20:31Let's do it!

1:20:31 > 1:20:33Put that gun down or I'll kill your friend right here.

1:20:33 > 1:20:34Put it down! Reese, what are we doing?

1:20:34 > 1:20:36Do it now! Put it down!

1:20:36 > 1:20:38Hutch, I got a clean shot, but I need your permission.

1:20:38 > 1:20:40No! No, no, no, Starsky.

1:20:40 > 1:20:43Hutch, I can do this! Just move your head to the left.

1:20:43 > 1:20:46No, you don't have my permission, partner. I can't give it to you.

1:20:46 > 1:20:49Your nuts are mine, Feldman.

1:20:49 > 1:20:51No, they're not! Your nuts are yours.

1:20:51 > 1:20:52Your nuts are yours. Starsky,

1:20:52 > 1:20:54listen to me. I don't want to die.

1:20:54 > 1:20:56And I'm not giving you my permission.

1:20:56 > 1:20:58Please, put it down.

1:20:58 > 1:20:59Ow. Ow, ow.

1:20:59 > 1:21:02Put it down. Down.

1:21:05 > 1:21:07OK. All right. You're right.

1:21:07 > 1:21:08It's too close.

1:21:08 > 1:21:08Oh, thank God.

1:21:13 > 1:21:15Stay down!

1:21:15 > 1:21:16GUNFIRE

1:21:17 > 1:21:18Doby?

1:21:20 > 1:21:22REESE: Come on, let's move it!

1:21:22 > 1:21:23What? Let's go! Let's go!

1:21:23 > 1:21:24What?!

1:21:24 > 1:21:25Wait, I'm not...! Walk away. Let's go.

1:21:25 > 1:21:26Hey, Cap, are you OK?

1:21:26 > 1:21:28Yeah, I just got my wing clipped.

1:21:28 > 1:21:30Jesus Christ, who the hell shot me?

1:21:30 > 1:21:32I'm sorry, sir. I was trying to get...

1:21:32 > 1:21:33Starsky! It was Reese Feldman.

1:21:33 > 1:21:35Reese Feldman hit you, that son of a bitch.

1:21:35 > 1:21:37Well, go get him!

1:21:37 > 1:21:38Is somebody coming?

1:21:38 > 1:21:40No, we're on vacation. Oh!

1:21:40 > 1:21:42What's going on? Gotta go.

1:21:42 > 1:21:43GUNSHOTS

1:21:43 > 1:21:44Oh, my God!

1:21:46 > 1:21:47KITTY: Baby, look out!

1:21:47 > 1:21:49REESE: I want to hit him!

1:22:05 > 1:22:07Jesus, watch out for the bunker!

1:22:07 > 1:22:09STARSKY: I don't know what a bunker is!

1:22:09 > 1:22:11HUTCH: It's a sand trap.

1:22:13 > 1:22:14It's OK. Go faster!

1:22:14 > 1:22:16I'm going fast. I got it floored.

1:22:20 > 1:22:21Look, dogleg right up here on the par three.

1:22:21 > 1:22:23What? Watch the bunker!

1:22:23 > 1:22:24What bunker?

1:22:25 > 1:22:26HUTCH: Jesus!

1:22:27 > 1:22:30Come on! Pay attention!

1:22:32 > 1:22:34Hey, get out of here!

1:22:40 > 1:22:42Move that ice-cream truck, now!

1:22:42 > 1:22:43No, you move.

1:22:43 > 1:22:45Bay City PD. Move it!

1:22:45 > 1:22:46Let's go.

1:22:46 > 1:22:48Grab those and meet me in the marina.

1:22:48 > 1:22:49Let's go, move. Move!

1:22:49 > 1:22:51If you guys are cops, let's see some badge.

1:22:53 > 1:22:54We don't have any badges.

1:22:54 > 1:22:55Show him your gun.

1:22:55 > 1:22:56GUNSHOTS

1:22:56 > 1:22:57Oh!

1:22:57 > 1:22:59Come on. Come on, move!

1:22:59 > 1:23:00Oh!

1:23:10 > 1:23:12Come on, hurry up, let's go!

1:23:12 > 1:23:14They're coming!

1:23:14 > 1:23:16REESE: God, these two

1:23:16 > 1:23:17with the running and the chasing.

1:23:19 > 1:23:21Good-bye, heroes!

1:23:21 > 1:23:23Come on, double back to the shipping yard!

1:23:23 > 1:23:25- You got a boat? - No, but I got an idea.

1:23:40 > 1:23:42Hey, watch out!

1:23:47 > 1:23:48OK, now what?

1:23:48 > 1:23:49OK, we're gonna take this car,

1:23:49 > 1:23:51and land it on that boat.

1:23:53 > 1:23:56You want to crash the car into his boat?

1:23:56 > 1:23:58No, I want to land it on that boat.

1:23:58 > 1:24:00Now, go.

1:24:02 > 1:24:03Go!

1:24:03 > 1:24:05I can't do it.

1:24:05 > 1:24:06This is unbelievable.

1:24:06 > 1:24:07Here you get me out here

1:24:07 > 1:24:08to risk my life,

1:24:08 > 1:24:11and now you're telling me you can't do this?

1:24:11 > 1:24:12I'm a quitter, but...

1:24:13 > 1:24:14You're crying again.

1:24:14 > 1:24:15I'm not crying.

1:24:15 > 1:24:18This is different. It's...

1:24:18 > 1:24:20It's my mother. She always used to,

1:24:20 > 1:24:23used to say that I... that this was too much car for me to handle.

1:24:23 > 1:24:25She said that?

1:24:25 > 1:24:27"You couldn't handle the V8."

1:24:27 > 1:24:29I don't know, maybe she was right.

1:24:29 > 1:24:31Hey, look at me.

1:24:31 > 1:24:33Look at me.

1:24:33 > 1:24:37I am not your mother. I'm your partner.

1:24:37 > 1:24:39Now, go!

1:24:41 > 1:24:42Go!

1:24:47 > 1:24:48STARSKY: Listen, things could go

1:24:48 > 1:24:49pretty wrong in a second, so I...

1:24:49 > 1:24:50Keep your eyes on the road!

1:24:50 > 1:24:51STARSKY: Just listen to me, Ken.

1:24:51 > 1:24:52If we don't make it -

1:24:52 > 1:24:54this,

1:24:54 > 1:24:55you know, us...

1:24:56 > 1:24:57it's been good.

1:24:57 > 1:24:59It's been great.

1:24:59 > 1:25:01Now will you stop talking and hit that boat?

1:25:02 > 1:25:05It's not a boat, it's a yacht.

1:25:08 > 1:25:11YELLING

1:25:14 > 1:25:16REESE: Son of a bitch!

1:25:16 > 1:25:17KITTY YELLS

1:25:17 > 1:25:19REESE: Come on, are you kidding me?

1:25:19 > 1:25:21Oh, my God.

1:25:21 > 1:25:23We almost just got killed.

1:25:23 > 1:25:26REESE: Thank you for pointing out something that I couldn't notice on my own.

1:25:26 > 1:25:27You're a real benefit to have.

1:25:27 > 1:25:29Kitty: we should save them.

1:25:32 > 1:25:34GASPING

1:25:34 > 1:25:36Son of a bitch!

1:25:36 > 1:25:37Nice plan(!)

1:25:37 > 1:25:38What do you expect?

1:25:38 > 1:25:40You gave it too much gas and you overshot it.

1:25:40 > 1:25:43Car has a lot of horsepower. I'm going to go get it.

1:25:43 > 1:25:45What are you doing? Stop it.

1:25:46 > 1:25:48Starsky!

1:25:49 > 1:25:50It hasn't hit the bottom yet. Starsky, Starsky, stop!

1:25:50 > 1:25:52Stop, damn it! What?!

1:25:52 > 1:25:53Listen to me.

1:25:53 > 1:25:56It's gone, OK? It's over.

1:25:56 > 1:25:58But it's my car.

1:25:58 > 1:26:00I know it is, partner.

1:26:00 > 1:26:01I know it is.

1:26:01 > 1:26:04HORN BLOWS

1:26:04 > 1:26:07KITTY LAUGHS

1:26:07 > 1:26:09Oh, my God, honey, that was so incredible!

1:26:09 > 1:26:12I feel like my adrenaline is just...

1:26:12 > 1:26:13You and me, babe,

1:26:13 > 1:26:15we are such a good team, don't you think?

1:26:15 > 1:26:18I mean, this is just the beginning.

1:26:18 > 1:26:19We could go so far, honey.

1:26:19 > 1:26:20ENGINE STALLS

1:26:20 > 1:26:22I mean, I feel so exhilarated.

1:26:22 > 1:26:23Come on! What was that?

1:26:23 > 1:26:25Son of a bitch.

1:26:25 > 1:26:29What is it, Reese?

1:26:34 > 1:26:35Who are you?

1:26:36 > 1:26:38I found your nine iron, bitch!

1:26:38 > 1:26:40GRUNTS

1:26:41 > 1:26:43That's for putting hands on Huggy Bear.

1:26:43 > 1:26:45Nobody touches the bear,

1:26:45 > 1:26:46you dig?

1:26:49 > 1:26:53Yeah, now these will work.

1:26:53 > 1:26:56What have we here?

1:26:56 > 1:26:57Ooh!

1:26:57 > 1:27:02Now, that's what I'm talking about.

1:27:02 > 1:27:05MUSIC: "Cut The Cake" by Average White Band

1:27:05 > 1:27:07# Cut the cake

1:27:07 > 1:27:08# I want a little piece

1:27:08 > 1:27:10# And let me lick up the cream

1:27:10 > 1:27:11# Cut the cake... #

1:27:11 > 1:27:14We don't really do private shows.

1:27:14 > 1:27:16But I'm a good friend of Huggy Bear.

1:27:16 > 1:27:19Well, it's kind of against cheerleading policy.

1:27:19 > 1:27:21You need to change that policy.

1:27:21 > 1:27:23You know what I can't figure out,

1:27:23 > 1:27:25is how in the hell did you know to get on that boat?

1:27:25 > 1:27:27Well, you know when, uh, your two boys

1:27:27 > 1:27:29put me on that undercover golf course mission,

1:27:29 > 1:27:30that cat, uh, Reese,

1:27:30 > 1:27:33all he did was talk about that damn yacht.

1:27:33 > 1:27:36And you know, like I say, why go to the starting line

1:27:36 > 1:27:38when you can go straight to the finish?

1:27:38 > 1:27:40"Straight to the finish"? Yes, sir.

1:27:40 > 1:27:41I like that, man, I like that.

1:27:41 > 1:27:44Are you, uh, interested in doing any undercover work?

1:27:44 > 1:27:45Uh, not in the least.

1:27:45 > 1:27:47Captain, let me borrow him for just a second.

1:27:47 > 1:27:50You know, the weird thing is, one of those briefcases

1:27:50 > 1:27:52with 5 million just up and vanished.

1:27:52 > 1:27:53Hmm.

1:27:53 > 1:27:55Whoa, what is this, a brand-new fur coat?

1:27:55 > 1:27:57Look at this thing.

1:27:57 > 1:27:58Uh, yeah, I inherited some money

1:27:58 > 1:27:59from a dead uncle of mines.

1:27:59 > 1:28:00Is that right?

1:28:00 > 1:28:02I didn't even know you had an uncle.

1:28:02 > 1:28:07Well, I did, and he was rich as hell, too, baby.

1:28:07 > 1:28:08Chin up, little man.

1:28:08 > 1:28:11Ah, I think he's still upset about the car.

1:28:11 > 1:28:13Come on, let's get up. You're going outside.

1:28:13 > 1:28:15No, no thanks.

1:28:15 > 1:28:16Come on, we're taking you out.

1:28:16 > 1:28:17We're going to get you some coffee,

1:28:17 > 1:28:19get you cleaned up. On the double, man. I don't feel like it.

1:28:20 > 1:28:23SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE

1:28:23 > 1:28:25Look, Starsky, I know these two white dudes

1:28:25 > 1:28:28that got a car that you might be interested in.

1:28:28 > 1:28:29I don't want another car, Hug.

1:28:29 > 1:28:31Oh, come on, at least take a look.

1:28:34 > 1:28:36STARSKY: My car!

1:28:36 > 1:28:37Where did you...?

1:28:45 > 1:28:46Hey, Hutch,

1:28:47 > 1:28:48who the hell are these guys?

1:28:48 > 1:28:51I don't know, but I... I get a good vibe from them.

1:28:52 > 1:28:54So, are you selling the car?

1:28:54 > 1:28:57Well, actually your friend here has already paid for it.

1:28:57 > 1:28:59STARSKY LAUGHS

1:28:59 > 1:29:01I owe you one, Huggy.

1:29:01 > 1:29:02HE CHUCKLES

1:29:02 > 1:29:04All right.

1:29:04 > 1:29:06Come on, give him the keys.

1:29:12 > 1:29:13Thank you. Thank you.

1:29:15 > 1:29:16Uh, now, uh, with this transmission,

1:29:16 > 1:29:18you're really going to want to jump the clutch.

1:29:18 > 1:29:19Yeah, yeah, I know. I usually pop it

1:29:19 > 1:29:21from second to fourth. Yeah, I got it.

1:29:21 > 1:29:23DISPATCHER: Come in, zebra-three... Right.

1:29:23 > 1:29:24We have a 420 on fifth and tucker, please respond.

1:29:28 > 1:29:30This is zebra-three. We're on it.

1:29:30 > 1:29:31Hutch.

1:29:31 > 1:29:32Let's roll.

1:29:33 > 1:29:34I think he means you.

1:29:36 > 1:29:38Good luck.

1:29:38 > 1:29:39Allow me.

1:29:39 > 1:29:40All right, thank you. You're welcome.

1:29:40 > 1:29:43MUSIC: "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith All right.

1:29:43 > 1:29:44TYRES SQUEAL Hey!

1:29:44 > 1:29:46Not that... TYRES SCREECH

1:29:46 > 1:29:48HE GROANS

1:29:49 > 1:29:50How does it feel?

1:29:50 > 1:29:52It feels pretty good.

1:29:52 > 1:29:54I'm just going take it slow for a while,

1:29:54 > 1:29:55get the feel of it.

1:29:55 > 1:29:56No, that's smart. Do that.

1:30:01 > 1:30:02Starsky...

1:30:02 > 1:30:03Hang on.

1:30:03 > 1:30:04No!

1:30:04 > 1:30:06No! Hang on!

1:30:06 > 1:30:14# Sweet emotion

1:30:14 > 1:30:17# You talk about things that nobody cares

1:30:18 > 1:30:21# You're wearin' out things that nobody wears

1:30:23 > 1:30:27# You're callin' my name, but I gotta make clear

1:30:27 > 1:30:30# I can't say, baby, where I'll be in a year

1:30:41 > 1:30:46# Some sweat hog mama with a face like a gent

1:30:46 > 1:30:48# Said my get up and go musta got up and went

1:30:48 > 1:30:51ENGINE RUMBLING

1:30:51 > 1:30:54# Well I got good news, she's a real good liar

1:30:55 > 1:30:58# Cos the backstage boogie set your pants on fire

1:31:00 > 1:31:04TYRES SCREECHING

1:31:16 > 1:31:21# Sweet...

1:31:21 > 1:31:25# Emotion

1:31:25 > 1:31:30# Sweet...

1:31:30 > 1:31:35# Emotion

1:31:35 > 1:31:38# I pulled into town in a police car

1:31:39 > 1:31:43# Your daddy said I took it just a little too far

1:31:43 > 1:31:47# You're telling me things, but your girlfriend lied

1:31:47 > 1:31:51# You can't catch me cos the rabbit gone died

1:31:52 > 1:31:53# Yes, it did

1:32:07 > 1:32:09ENGINE ROARS

1:32:18 > 1:32:22SONG FADES

1:32:24 > 1:32:26MUSIC: Starsky & Hutch Theme by Tom Scott