0:00:23 > 0:00:27FOOTSTEPS
0:00:28 > 0:00:31MAN: Hey! Hey!
0:00:31 > 0:00:34There he is!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Where's he gone?
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Stop! You won't get away, sir!
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Time to pay your debt.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Hey!
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'm sorry for that, for your sake.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43I don't play accurately -
0:01:43 > 0:01:45anyone can play accurately -
0:01:45 > 0:01:49but I play with wonderful expression.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Yes, sir.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Bills, bills, bills - all I ever get is bills.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57And then there's the matter of my unpaid wages, sir.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Yet again the wasteful habits of my brother Ernest
0:02:06 > 0:02:09tear me from my duties here. Yes, sir.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Terrible nuisance, but there's nothing to be done.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14I shall return Monday afternoon.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Yes, sir.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Pay particular attention, if you will, Miss Prism,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24to her German grammar.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Yes, Mr Worthing.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Have you found my cigarette case, Merriman?
0:02:34 > 0:02:35We're still looking, sir.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37CROWD CHEERS
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Ernest!
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Algy! How are you, my dear Ernest?
0:03:50 > 0:03:52What brings you up to town? Oh, pleasure.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54What else should bring one anywhere?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Where have you been? In the country.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58What on earth do you do there?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Well, when one is in town, one amuses oneself.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04In the country, one amuses other people. It's excessively boring.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Who are these people you amuse? Oh, neighbours.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Nice neighbours in Shropshire? Horrid. Never speak to them.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12How immensely you must amuse them.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Shropshire is your county, is it not?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16What? Shropshire.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Oh, yes, of course.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21MUSIC STARTS UP CROWD CHEERS
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Dear boy, what plans have you got for tea tomorrow?
0:04:24 > 0:04:27You know Aunt Augusta is coming to tea tomorrow.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Aunt Augusta?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Yes, Aunt Augusta...
0:04:31 > 0:04:33and Gwendolen.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36How perfectly delightful.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40Perhaps I might pay my respects.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Yes, that is all very well, but I'm afraid Aunt Augusta
0:04:43 > 0:04:45won't approve. Why?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48The way that you flirt with Gwendolen is disgraceful.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Almost as bad as the way she flirts with you.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53I am in love with Gwendolen. Ahh.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56And I have come up to town expressly to propose to her.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58I thought you came up for pleasure.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01I call that business. How utterly unromantic you are.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04I don't see what there is romantic about proposing.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Why, one may be accepted. One usually is.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08And then - ha ha! - the excitement is over.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13No. The very essence of romance is uncertainty.
0:05:17 > 0:05:1925 a player.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Anyway, I certainly can't see you and Gwendolen being married.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27Why on earth do you say that?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30In the first place, I don't give consent. Consent?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32My dear fellow, Gwendolen is my cousin,
0:05:32 > 0:05:34and before I allow you to marry her,
0:05:34 > 0:05:37you shall have to clear up this whole question of Cecily.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38Cecily? Mmm.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41What on earth do you mean, Algy, by Cecily?
0:05:41 > 0:05:43I don't know anyone by the name of Cecily.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Do you mean to say you have had my cigarette case all this time?
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I wish you had let me know.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I've been writing to Scotland Yard.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52nearly offering a large reward.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55I wish you would offer one. I am more than usually hard up.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Oh, it makes no matter,
0:05:57 > 0:05:59for I see now the thing isn't yours after all.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Of course it's mine. Not according to the inscription.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05And you have no right to read what is written inside.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08It is ungentlemanly to read a cigarette case.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Yes, but this isn't your cigarette case.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13This is a present from someone of the name of Cecily,
0:06:13 > 0:06:15and don't know anyone of that name.
0:06:15 > 0:06:20Well, if you want to know, Cecily happens to be my aunt.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22THEY LAUGH Your aunt?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25Yes. Charming old lady she is, too.
0:06:25 > 0:06:26Just give it back, Algy.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Yes, but why does your aunt call you her uncle?
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Hmm?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40"From little Cecily, with her fondest love
0:06:40 > 0:06:43"to her dear Uncle Jack." Mmm.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45There is no objection, I admit,
0:06:45 > 0:06:47to an aunt being a small aunt,
0:06:47 > 0:06:49but why an aunt, no matter what her size may be,
0:06:49 > 0:06:51should call her own nephew her uncle
0:06:51 > 0:06:53I can't quite make out.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55And your name isn't Jack - it's Ernest.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58It isn't Ernest, it's Jack.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00WOMEN GASP
0:07:00 > 0:07:02You've always told me it was Ernest.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04I've introduced you as Ernest.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06It is perfectly absurd.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08It's on your cards. Here is one of them.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11"Mr Ernest Worthing, B4, The Albany."
0:07:11 > 0:07:12Well, it is Ernest - in town,
0:07:12 > 0:07:14and Jack in the country,
0:07:14 > 0:07:18and the cigarette case was given to me in the country.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23So I've always pretended to have a younger brother.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Ah, of the name of Ernest.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27And, uh, little Cecily?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29My ward, Miss Cecily Cardew.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Where is that place in the country, by the way?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34That is nothing to you, dear boy.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36You are certainly not going to be invited.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38It is not in Shropshire.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Oh, I suspected that, my dear fellow,
0:07:40 > 0:07:44just as I suspected you to be a Bunburyist.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Indeed, you are one of the most advanced Bunburyists I know.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50SHOUTS >
0:07:50 > 0:07:52See you at five.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Moncrieff!
0:07:57 > 0:07:59A quick word, sir!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01"Bunburyist"?
0:08:01 > 0:08:06Cecily, your German grammar is on the table.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Pray open it at page 15.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10We will repeat yesterday's lesson.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12But I don't like German.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15It isn't at all a becoming language.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18I know perfectly well I look quite plain after my German lesson.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Child, you know how anxious your guardian is
0:08:21 > 0:08:23that you should improve yourself in every way.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Dear Uncle Jack is so very serious.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Sometimes I think he is so serious he cannot be quite well.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Cecily, I'm surprised at you.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Mr Worthing has many troubles in his life.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38You must remember his constant anxiety
0:08:38 > 0:08:41about that unfortunate young man, his brother.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I wish Uncle Jack would allow that unfortunate young man,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47his brother, to come down here sometimes.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49We might have a good influence over him.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I'm not sure that I would desire to reclaim him.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55I'm not in favour of this modern mania
0:08:55 > 0:08:58for turning bad people into good people at a moment's notice.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01HORSE NEIGHS
0:09:02 > 0:09:04< Cecily?
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Do your work, child.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15"Bunburyist"?
0:09:15 > 0:09:18What on earth do you mean by a "Bunburyist"?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21You have invented a very useful younger brother called Ernest
0:09:21 > 0:09:25in order to come up to town as often as you like.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30I have invented an invaluable permanent invalid called Bunbury
0:09:30 > 0:09:35in order to go down to the country as often as I choose.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38If it wasn't for Bunbury's extraordinary bad health,
0:09:38 > 0:09:40I wouldn't be able to dine with you tonight,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43for I've an appointment with Aunt Augusta.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45I haven't asked you to dine with me.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I know. You're absurdly careless about giving out invitations.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Don't touch the cucumber sandwiches.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53They're for Aunt Augusta. You've been eating them.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57Well, that is quite a different matter. She is MY aunt.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59BELL RINGS Oh, that must be her.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Only relatives or creditors ever ring in that Wagnerian manner.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Now, if I manage to get her out of the way for ten minutes
0:10:07 > 0:10:10so that you may have an opportunity for proposing to Gwendolen,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13may I dine with you at the Savoy tonight?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Lady Bracknell and Miss Fairfax.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Good afternoon, dear Algy.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26I hope you are behaving very well.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Well, I'm feeling very well, Aunt Augusta.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30That's not quite the same thing.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33In fact, the two things rarely go together.
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Lady Bracknell, I...
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Oh, goodness, you are smart.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38I'm always smart. Am I not, Mr Worthing?
0:10:38 > 0:10:41You are quite perfect, Miss Fairfax.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Oh, I hope I am not that.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44It would leave no room for development,
0:10:44 > 0:10:47and I intend to develop in many directions.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50AUGUSTA: I'm sorry if we're a little late, Algy.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53I was obliged to call on dear Lady Harbury.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I had not been since her husband's death.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I never saw a woman so altered.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00She looks quite 20 years younger.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03And now I'll have a cup of tea
0:11:03 > 0:11:06and one of those nice cucumber sandwiches you promised me.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Certainly, Aunt Augusta.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09Won't you sit here, Gwendolen?
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Thanks, Mama, I'm comfortable where I am.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Good heavens, Lane, why are there no cucumber sandwiches?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18There were no cucumbers in the market, sir.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21I went down twice. Oh, no cucumbers?
0:11:21 > 0:11:22No, sir. Not even for ready money.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25That will do, Lane. Thank you, sir.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta,
0:11:33 > 0:11:37about there being no cucumbers, not even for ready money.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39It makes no matter, Algy.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44I've got quite a treat for you tonight, Algy.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46I'm going to send you down with Mary Farquhar.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49She is such a nice... I'm afraid, Aunt Augusta,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I have to give up dining with you tonight. I hope not, Algy.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55It will put my table completely out.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57It is a great bore, and I need hardly say,
0:11:57 > 0:11:59a terrible disappointment,
0:11:59 > 0:12:02but I've just had a telegram to say that Bunbury is very ill again.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04They seem to think I should be with him.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Very strange.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10This Mr Bunbury seems to suffer from curiously bad health.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Oh, yes, poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15I must say, Algy, it's time Mr Bunbury
0:12:15 > 0:12:17made up his mind whether he was going to live or die.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24I should be much obliged if you would ask Mr Bunbury from me
0:12:24 > 0:12:26to be kind enough not to have a relapse next Saturday.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30It is my last reception, and I rely on you to arrange my music for me.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I'll speak to Bunbury, Aunt Augusta,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35if he's still conscious.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Now, if you'll follow me into the next room,
0:12:37 > 0:12:39I'll run over the programme I've drawn up.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Thank you, Algy.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44It is very thoughtful of you.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Gwendolen, you will accompany me.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Certainly, Mama.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Charming day it has been, Miss Fairfax.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr Worthing.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Whenever people talk to me about the weather,
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I always feel quite certain that they mean something else,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13and that makes me nervous. I do mean something else.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15I thought so.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18I would like to take advantage of Lady Bracknell's temporary absence...
0:13:18 > 0:13:19I would advise you to do so.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22Mama has a way of coming back suddenly into a room
0:13:22 > 0:13:24that I've often had to speak to her about.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Miss Fairfax, ever since I met you,
0:13:29 > 0:13:33I have admired you more than any girl I have ever met since...
0:13:33 > 0:13:36I met you.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Yes. I'm quite aware of the fact.
0:13:38 > 0:13:43I often wish that in public, at any rate, you'd been more demonstrative.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45For me...
0:13:45 > 0:13:48you have always had an irresistible fascination.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Gwendolen... Even before I met you,
0:13:51 > 0:13:54I was far from indifferent to you.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56PIANO PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
0:13:56 > 0:13:59We live, as I hope you know, Mr Worthing,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01in an age of ideals,
0:14:01 > 0:14:04and my ideal has always been to love someone
0:14:04 > 0:14:06of the name of...Ernest.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10There's something in that name
0:14:10 > 0:14:12that inspires absolute confidence.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14The moment Algy first mentioned to me
0:14:14 > 0:14:17that he had a friend called Ernest,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I knew I was destined to love you.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23You really love me, Gwendolen?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Passionately. Oh, darling, you...
0:14:25 > 0:14:30you don't know how happy you've made me. My own Ernest.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32You don't mean to say though, dear,
0:14:32 > 0:14:35that you couldn't love me if my name wasn't Ernest...?
0:14:35 > 0:14:37But your name is Ernest.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Yes, I know it is,
0:14:38 > 0:14:41but supposing it was something else?
0:14:41 > 0:14:46Ah. Well, that is clearly a metaphysical speculation,
0:14:46 > 0:14:50and like most metaphysical speculations,
0:14:50 > 0:14:53has very little reference at all
0:14:53 > 0:14:57to the actual facts of real life as we know them.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Personally, darling, to speak quite candidly,
0:15:00 > 0:15:03I don't much care about the name of Ernest.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04I don't think it suits me at all.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07It suits you perfectly. It is a divine name.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09It has a music of its own.
0:15:09 > 0:15:13It produces vibrations.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Well, really, Gwendolen,
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I must say I think there are lots of other much nicer names.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I think...
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Jack, for instance, a charming name.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28Jack? I've known several Jacks, and they all,
0:15:28 > 0:15:31without exception, were more than usually plain.
0:15:31 > 0:15:35The only really safe name is Ernest.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Gwendolen, we must get married at once.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43Married, Mr Worthing? Well, surely.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44You know that I love you,
0:15:44 > 0:15:48and you led me to believe, Miss Fairfax,
0:15:48 > 0:15:51that you were not absolutely indifferent to me.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55I adore you. But you haven't proposed to me yet.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Nothing's been said at all about marriage.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00The subject has not even been touched on.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Gwendolen.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Yes, Mr Worthing, what have you to say to me?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15You know what I have to say to you.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Yes, but you don't say it.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23Gwendolen,
0:16:23 > 0:16:25will you marry me?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Mr Worthing!
0:16:28 > 0:16:32Rise, sir, from this semi-recumbent posture. It is indecorous.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Mama! I must beg you to retire.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Mr Worthing has not finished yet. Finished what, may I ask?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41I am engaged to be married to Mr Worthing, Mama.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43You are not engaged to anyone.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46When you do become engaged to someone, I or your father,
0:16:46 > 0:16:51should his health permit him, will inform you of the fact.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54You will wait for me below in the carriage.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56Mama... In the carriage, Gwendolen.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Gwendolen! The carriage!
0:17:17 > 0:17:19I feel bound to tell you, Mr Worthing,
0:17:19 > 0:17:22you are not down on my list of eligible young men.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26However, I'm quite ready to enter your name as a possible candidate.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Perhaps you would attend a meeting at my house
0:17:29 > 0:17:31at 11 o'clock tomorrow morning.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I shall have a few questions to put to you.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Algernon?
0:17:38 > 0:17:41So, did you tell Gwendolen the truth
0:17:41 > 0:17:45about being Ernest in town and Jack in the country?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48My dear fellow, the truth isn't quite the sort of thing
0:17:48 > 0:17:51one tells to a nice, sweet, refined girl.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53What odd ideas you have about how to behave!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55The only way to behave to a woman
0:17:55 > 0:17:57is to love her if she's pretty and someone else if she is plain.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00That is nonsense. You never talk anything but nonsense.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Well, nobody ever does.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Oh, my dear fellow, you forgot to pay the bill.
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Not at all.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09I make it a point never to pay at the Savoy.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Why on earth not? You have heaps of money.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Yes, but Ernest hasn't,
0:18:14 > 0:18:17and he's got quite a reputation to keep up.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Cecily?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31More intellectual pleasures await you, my child.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37You should put away your diary, Cecily.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41I really don't see why you should keep a diary at all.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44I keep a diary in order to enter the wonderful secrets of my life.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47If I didn't write them down, I'd probably forget all about them.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Memory, my dear Cecily,
0:18:49 > 0:18:51is the diary that we all carry with us.
0:18:51 > 0:18:53I believe memory is responsible
0:18:53 > 0:18:56for nearly all these three-volume novels people write now.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58Do not speak slightingly
0:18:58 > 0:19:00of the three-volume novel, Cecily.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02I wrote one myself in earlier days.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04Did you really, Miss Prism?
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I hope it did not end happily.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09The good ended happily and the bad unhappily.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12That is what fiction means.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Do your work, child. These speculations are profitless.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20But I see dear Dr Chasuble
0:19:20 > 0:19:22coming through the garden.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25Oh, Dr Chasuble!
0:19:27 > 0:19:29This is indeed a pleasure.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30And how are we today?
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Miss Prism, you are, I trust, well.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36Miss Prism has just been complaining of a slight headache.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38It would do her so much good
0:19:38 > 0:19:41to have a short stroll with you in the park, Dr Chasuble.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Cecily! I have not mentioned anything about a headache.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47No, I felt instinctively that you had a headache.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Indeed, I was thinking about that and not my German lesson
0:19:50 > 0:19:52when the rector came along.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I hope, Cecily, you are not inattentive. I am afraid I am.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57That's strange.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00Were I fortunate enough to be Miss Prism's pupil,
0:20:00 > 0:20:02I would hang upon her lips.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I spoke metaphorically.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16My metaphor was drawn from...bees.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Oh...
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Hmm.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Ahem. I shall, um,
0:20:21 > 0:20:26see you both, no doubt, at Evensong.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53Good luck, sir.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58BELL RINGS
0:21:04 > 0:21:07WHISPERED: Ernest!
0:21:11 > 0:21:15This way, sir. Shall I, uh...?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41You can take a seat, Mr Worthing.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Thank you, Lady Bracknell. I prefer standing.
0:21:56 > 0:21:57Do you smoke?
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Well, yes, I must admit I smoke.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06I'm glad to hear it.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09A man should always have an occupation.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12There are far too many idle men in London as it is.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16How old are you?
0:22:14 > 0:22:1635.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19A very good age to be married at.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23I've always been of opinion a man who desires to get married
0:22:23 > 0:22:25should know either everything or nothing.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Which do you know?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I know nothing, Lady Bracknell.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I'm pleased to hear it.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Ignorance is like a delicate, exotic fruit.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Touch it, and the bloom is gone.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Fortunately, in England, education produces no effect whatsoever.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes
0:22:56 > 0:22:59and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02What is your income?
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Between 7 and 8,000 a year.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05In land or in investments?
0:23:05 > 0:23:09In investments, chiefly. Oh, that is satisfactory.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I have a country house with some land, of course, attached to it.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16About 1,500 acres, I believe.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18You have a town house, I hope.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20A girl with a simple nature like Gwendolen
0:23:20 > 0:23:23could not be expected to reside in the country.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25I also own a house in Belgrave Square.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Number? 149.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29The unfashionable side.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34I thought there was something.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40However, that could easily be altered.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Do you mean the fashion or the side?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Well, both, if necessary, I presume.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Are your parents living?
0:23:52 > 0:23:55I have lost both my parents.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57To lose one parent, Mr Worthing,
0:23:57 > 0:23:59may be regarded as a misfortune.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02To lose both looks like carelessness.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Who was your father?
0:24:04 > 0:24:07He was evidently a man of some wealth.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I'm afraid I really don't know.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13The fact is, Lady Bracknell,
0:24:13 > 0:24:15I said I had lost my parents.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17It would be nearer the truth
0:24:17 > 0:24:19to say my parents seem to have lost me.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23I actually don't know who I am by birth.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26I was...
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Well, I was found.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Found?
0:24:29 > 0:24:32The late Mr Thomas Cardew, an old gentleman
0:24:32 > 0:24:35of a very charitable and kindly disposition, found me
0:24:35 > 0:24:39and called me Worthing because he happened to have a ticket for Worthing in his pocket.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Worthing is a place in Sussex.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45It is a seaside resort.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47And where did this charitable gentlemen
0:24:47 > 0:24:50with a ticket for the seaside resort find you?
0:24:50 > 0:24:53In a handbag.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58A handbag?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Yes, Lady Bracknell.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02I was in a handbag.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05A somewhat large, um,
0:25:05 > 0:25:09black leather handbag
0:25:09 > 0:25:12with handles to it.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16An ordinary handbag, in fact.
0:25:16 > 0:25:21In what locality did this Mr James or Thomas Cardew
0:25:21 > 0:25:24come across this ordinary handbag?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26In the cloakroom at Victoria Station.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28It was given him in mistake.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30The cloakroom at Victoria Station?
0:25:30 > 0:25:34Yes. The Brighton line.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34The line is immaterial.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37SHE TEARS PAPER
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Mr Worthing, I confess I am somewhat bewildered
0:25:40 > 0:25:42by what you have just told me.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45To be born or at any rate bred in a handbag,
0:25:45 > 0:25:47whether it has handles or not,
0:25:47 > 0:25:51seems to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies of family life,
0:25:51 > 0:25:55which remind one of the worst excesses of the French Revolution.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58And I presume you know what that unfortunate movement led to.
0:25:58 > 0:26:01May I ask you then what you would advise me to do?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04I need hardly say I would do anything in the world
0:26:04 > 0:26:06to ensure Gwendolen's happiness.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08I would strongly advise you
0:26:08 > 0:26:11to try and acquire some relations as soon as possible
0:26:11 > 0:26:13and to make a definite effort to produce
0:26:13 > 0:26:17one parent of either sex before the season is quite over.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19I don't see how I could possibly do that!
0:26:19 > 0:26:21I can produce the handbag at any moment.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25It's in my storeroom at home. That should satisfy you, Lady Bracknell.
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Me, sir?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29What has it to do with me?
0:26:29 > 0:26:32You can hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell
0:26:32 > 0:26:35would dream of allowing our only daughter -
0:26:35 > 0:26:37a girl brought up with the utmost care -
0:26:37 > 0:26:42to marry into a cloakroom and form an alliance with a parcel.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49Good morning, Mr Worthing.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Good morning.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59You don't think there's any chance of Gwendolen
0:26:59 > 0:27:02becoming like her mother in 150 years, do you?
0:27:02 > 0:27:06My dear fellow, all women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09No man does, and that's his.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Is that clever? It's perfectly phrased
0:27:11 > 0:27:14and as true as any observation in civilised life should be.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Ernest.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17Gwendolen!
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Ernest, my dear Ernest.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22Algy, please, I have something very particular to say to Mr Worthing.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24My own darling.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27Ernest, the story of your romantic origin
0:27:27 > 0:27:30as related to me by Mama with unpleasing comments
0:27:30 > 0:27:33has naturally stirred the deeper fibres of my nature.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35I followed you here to reassure you
0:27:35 > 0:27:37that nothing that she can possibly do
0:27:37 > 0:27:40can alter my eternal devotion to you.
0:27:40 > 0:27:41Dear Gwendolen.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44Your town address at the Albany I have.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47What is your address in the country?
0:27:47 > 0:27:54The Manor, Woolton, Hertfordshire.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56I will communicate with you daily.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58My own one.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Oh!
0:28:01 > 0:28:04"Yes, I must confess, I do smoke."
0:28:04 > 0:28:06"I know nothing, Lady Bracknell."
0:28:11 > 0:28:14"I can produce the handbag at a moment's notice." Shh! Shh.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18Before you can be found in a handbag at a railway station,
0:28:18 > 0:28:21someone must have lost you in a handbag at a railway station.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Do you see?
0:28:26 > 0:28:30In the first place, what with Lady Bracknell sniffing about,
0:28:30 > 0:28:33dear, dissolute Ernest is a risk I can no longer afford.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36And Cecily is becoming a little too interested in him.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39It's rather a bore. I'd rather like to meet Cecily.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Well, I shall take very good care you never do.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45She is excessively pretty and only just 18.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48No, I'll say he died in Paris...
0:28:48 > 0:28:51of apoplexy.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53But it's hereditary, my dear fellow.
0:28:53 > 0:28:54It runs in families.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58You had much better say it was a chill. Very well, then.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Poor brother Ernest is carried off suddenly
0:29:00 > 0:29:04in Paris by a severe chill.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06That gets rid of him.
0:29:09 > 0:29:14Have you told Gwendolen that you have an excessively pretty ward who's only just 18?
0:29:14 > 0:29:17No. One doesn't blurt these things out to people.
0:29:17 > 0:29:22Cecily and Gwendolen are certain to become extremely great friends.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24I bet you half an hour after they've met
0:29:24 > 0:29:26they will be calling each other sister.
0:29:26 > 0:29:31Women only do that when they have called each other a lot of other things first.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:30:01 > 0:30:04Don't let me disturb you.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08I hope tomorrow will be a fine day, Lane.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10It never is, sir.
0:30:12 > 0:30:15You are a perfect pessimist.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Thank you.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28You can put out my dress clothes,
0:30:28 > 0:30:30my smoking jacket,
0:30:30 > 0:30:33and even bring on the curling tongs.
0:30:33 > 0:30:34Yes, sir.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36Tomorrow, Lane...
0:30:38 > 0:30:40..I'm going Bunburying.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42Yes, sir.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52That must be it over there.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Bring it down there, Mr Smithers.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23Ask Mr Ernest Worthing to come here.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25Yes, miss.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39You are my little cousin Cecily, I'm sure.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42You are under some strange mistake.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44I'm not little. In fact, I believe
0:31:44 > 0:31:47I'm more than usually tall for my age.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49But I am your cousin Cecily.
0:31:49 > 0:31:52And you, I see from your card,
0:31:52 > 0:31:55are Uncle Jack's brother, my cousin Ernest.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57My wicked cousin Ernest.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00I'm not really wicked at all. You mustn't think I'm wicked.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Well, if you are not, then you've been
0:32:02 > 0:32:05deceiving us in an inexcusable manner.
0:32:05 > 0:32:06Well, I have been rather reckless.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08Hmm, I'm glad to hear it.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10In fact, now that you mention it,
0:32:10 > 0:32:12I have been very bad in my own small way.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15I don't think you should be proud of that,
0:32:15 > 0:32:17though it must've been pleasant.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19It's much pleasanter being here.
0:32:19 > 0:32:21I can't understand how you're here at all.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Uncle Jack won't be back till Monday.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25Oh, that is a disappointment.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27I'm obliged to go out on Monday morning.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30I have a business appointment I'm anxious to miss.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Hmm. That's all very well, but still,
0:32:32 > 0:32:36I think you had better wait until Uncle Jack arrives.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39I know he wants to speak to you about your emigrating. My what?
0:32:39 > 0:32:43Uncle Jack is sending you to Australia. Australia? I'd sooner die.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45He said at dinner on Wednesday
0:32:45 > 0:32:48that you'd have to choose between this world,
0:32:48 > 0:32:50the next world, and Australia. Oh, well!
0:32:50 > 0:32:53The accounts I have received of Australia and the next world
0:32:53 > 0:32:56are not particularly encouraging, cousin Cecily.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58This world is good enough for me.
0:32:58 > 0:33:01Yes, but are you good enough for it?
0:33:00 > 0:33:01No, I'm afraid not.
0:33:01 > 0:33:04That is why I want you to reform me.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07You might make that your mission, if you don't mind.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09I'm afraid I've no time this afternoon.
0:33:09 > 0:33:12Well, would you mind me reforming myself this afternoon?
0:33:16 > 0:33:18It is rather quixotic of you,
0:33:18 > 0:33:20but I think you should try.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22I will.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25I feel better already.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27You're looking a little worse.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29Well, that's because I'm hungry.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38Mr Worthing! Mr Worthing!
0:33:39 > 0:33:41This is indeed a surprise.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44We did not look for you till Monday afternoon.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46I have returned sooner than I expected.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49Dear Mr Worthing, I trust this garb of woe
0:33:49 > 0:33:51does not betoken some terrible calamity.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53My brother.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55More shameful debts and extravagance.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58Still leading a life of pleasure.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Dead.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07Your brother Ernest is dead?
0:34:07 > 0:34:09Quite dead.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11What a lesson for him!
0:34:11 > 0:34:13I trust he will profit by it.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16He had many faults, but it is a sad, sad blow.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18Yes, indeed, sad.
0:34:18 > 0:34:24Um, were you with him at the end?
0:34:24 > 0:34:26No. He died abroad.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28In Paris, in fact.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30I had a telegram last night
0:34:30 > 0:34:33from the manager of the Grand Hotel.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37Is the cause of death mentioned?
0:34:37 > 0:34:38A severe chill, it seems.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42As a man sows, so shall he reap.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Oh, charity, Miss Prism, charity.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47I myself am peculiarly susceptible to draughts.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Ah...ah...
0:34:49 > 0:34:52Ah-choo!
0:34:52 > 0:34:54Bless you.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59Uncle Jack, I'm so pleased to see you back.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01What is the matter, Uncle Jack?
0:35:01 > 0:35:03Do look happy. You look as if you had toothache,
0:35:03 > 0:35:05and I have such a surprise.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Who do you think is in the rose garden?
0:35:08 > 0:35:10Your brother.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12Who? Your brother Ernest!
0:35:12 > 0:35:14He arrived about half an hour ago.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Nonsense. I haven't got a brother.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19I mean... Well, he's...
0:35:19 > 0:35:21Come! He'll be pleased to see you've returned.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26I...
0:35:27 > 0:35:30These are joyful tidings.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47Good heavens.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52Mmm.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Brother John,
0:36:07 > 0:36:10I've come down from town to tell you
0:36:10 > 0:36:13that I'm very sorry for all the trouble I have given you
0:36:13 > 0:36:16and that I fully intend to lead a better life in the future.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28Well, what can I say?
0:36:28 > 0:36:31The old Ernest is dead. Long live the new Ernest.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34I thought you'd like my little joke.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37Knowing me as you do, brother John,
0:36:37 > 0:36:39I'm surprised you took it so seriously.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41At any rate, I stand before you an entirely new man,
0:36:41 > 0:36:45rising, as it were, like a phoenix from the ashes.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50Uncle Jack, you're not going to refuse your own brother's hand?
0:36:50 > 0:36:53Nothing would induce me to take his hand.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57I think his behaviour disgraceful. He knows perfectly well why!
0:36:57 > 0:36:59Do shake his hand, Uncle Jack.
0:36:59 > 0:37:01After all, it could be worse.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04I could be dead in Paris. You could, indeed.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07Of a severe chill.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11Ah-choo!
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Sorry about that, Jack. Shake. Go on.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Excuse me, sir.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26We're putting Mr Ernest's things
0:37:26 > 0:37:28in the blue room on the second floor.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30What?
0:37:30 > 0:37:32Mr Ernest's luggage, sir.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34We're taking it up to the blue room.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36His luggage? Yes, sir.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38Two portmanteaus, two dressing cases,
0:37:38 > 0:37:41two hat boxes, and a large luncheon basket.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43I fear I can only stay a week this time.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49You scoundrel, Algy. Mmm?
0:37:49 > 0:37:51What have you to say for yourself?
0:37:51 > 0:37:53What I have to say, Uncle Jack,
0:37:53 > 0:37:55is that little Cecily is a darling.
0:37:55 > 0:37:59You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that!
0:37:59 > 0:38:01I don't like it.
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Your vanity is ridiculous,
0:38:03 > 0:38:08your conduct an outrage, and your presence in my house utterly absurd!
0:38:08 > 0:38:11However, you have got to catch the four train.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13I hope you have a pleasant journey.
0:38:13 > 0:38:17This Bunburying, as you call it, has not been a great success for you.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22HE SOBS
0:38:34 > 0:38:35It's pleasant, is it not,
0:38:35 > 0:38:38to see so perfect a reconciliation?
0:38:40 > 0:38:44I think it's been a great success.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59HE PLAYS HESITANTLY
0:39:10 > 0:39:13HE SPEEDS UP
0:39:24 > 0:39:27MISS PRISM CLEARS HER THROAT
0:39:43 > 0:39:45GONG SOUNDS
0:39:45 > 0:39:46< Dinner is served.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Cecily.
0:39:48 > 0:39:50Might I have a, uh, buttonhole first?
0:39:50 > 0:39:53I never have an appetite unless I have a buttonhole.
0:39:53 > 0:39:54Mr Worthing.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Marigold? No.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02I'd sooner have a pink rose.
0:40:02 > 0:40:03Why?
0:40:03 > 0:40:06Because you are like a pink rose, cousin Cecily.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10I don't think it could be right for you to talk to me like that.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13Miss Prism never says such things. Then Miss Prism
0:40:13 > 0:40:15is a short-sighted old lady.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22You are the prettiest girl I ever saw. GONG SOUNDS AGAIN
0:40:22 > 0:40:25You see, Uncle Jack, there is some good in everyone.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28Ernest was telling me about his poor invalid friend
0:40:28 > 0:40:30whom he goes to visit so often.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32He has been talking about poor Mr Bunbury?
0:40:32 > 0:40:35There must be good in one who is kind to an invalid
0:40:35 > 0:40:38and leaves the pleasures of London to sit by a bed of pain.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41Hmm.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12BABY CRIES
0:41:14 > 0:41:18PEOPLE CHATTER
0:41:18 > 0:41:19Right. It's first class.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21CHATTERING CONTINUES
0:41:39 > 0:41:40Good morning, sir.
0:41:40 > 0:41:41Good morning.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01'Dear Ernest...
0:42:01 > 0:42:04'how desperately I have missed you.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07'It seems an age since I last saw you,
0:42:07 > 0:42:08'and our separation
0:42:08 > 0:42:12'is now proving an intolerable strain.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23'The feelings you have aroused within me
0:42:23 > 0:42:25'are at once delightful
0:42:25 > 0:42:26'and exquisitely...'
0:42:26 > 0:42:29SHE GASPS '..Painful.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33'My dearest darling Ernest,
0:42:33 > 0:42:36'it is your very name that inspires me now
0:42:36 > 0:42:38'to take my future in my hands -
0:42:38 > 0:42:43'burnt, as it were, into my very being.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45'And so it is I have resolved
0:42:45 > 0:42:47'to flee these prison walls
0:42:47 > 0:42:50'and make my way directly to your side,
0:42:50 > 0:42:53'to my one and only.'
0:42:53 > 0:42:55CECILY: Ernest.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57Ernest!
0:43:01 > 0:43:02Algy.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05Hmm.
0:43:09 > 0:43:10Algy.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Ernest.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Ah. Good morning, my dear fellow.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21We have to talk.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23You have to leave.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26If I leave, how can we talk? We cannot both be called Ernest.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29I don't believe we are, brother Jack.
0:43:37 > 0:43:43SPEAKING GERMAN
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Mmm.
0:43:47 > 0:43:50SPEAKING GERMAN
0:43:50 > 0:43:53MISS PRISM SNORES
0:43:55 > 0:43:58I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you
0:43:58 > 0:44:02if I state quite openly and frankly,
0:44:02 > 0:44:06you seem to me to be in every way
0:44:06 > 0:44:08the visible personification
0:44:08 > 0:44:11of absolute perfection.
0:44:11 > 0:44:14I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18If you will allow me, I will copy your remarks into my diary.
0:44:18 > 0:44:20I'd give anything to see it. May I?
0:44:20 > 0:44:23Oh, no. You'd see it as a very young girl's record
0:44:23 > 0:44:25of her thoughts and impressions.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28But, pray, Ernest, I delight in taking down from dictation.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30You can go on.
0:44:30 > 0:44:31HE COUGHS
0:44:31 > 0:44:33Don't cough, Ernest.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36When one is dictating, one should speak fluently and not cough.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44Cecily...
0:44:44 > 0:44:45ever since I first looked upon
0:44:45 > 0:44:48your wondrous and incomparable beauty,
0:44:48 > 0:44:50I have dared to love you wildly...
0:44:50 > 0:44:52SHE SNORES
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Wildly...
0:44:54 > 0:44:56passionately... < Ahem.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59Devotedly, hopelessly.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01I beg your pardon, sir.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04There are two gentlemen wishing to see you.
0:45:06 > 0:45:08ENGINE SPUTTERS
0:45:08 > 0:45:11ENGINE BACKFIRES
0:45:13 > 0:45:16ENGINE BACKFIRES
0:45:16 > 0:45:17Mr Ernest Worthing? Yes.
0:45:17 > 0:45:19Of B4, The Albany?
0:45:19 > 0:45:20Yes, that is my address.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24I am very sorry, sir, but I have a writ against you
0:45:24 > 0:45:26at the suit of the Savoy Hotel Company Limited
0:45:26 > 0:45:29for 762 pounds, 14 shillings.
0:45:29 > 0:45:33What perfect nonsense. I never dine at the Savoy at my own expense.
0:45:33 > 0:45:34In the interests of our clients,
0:45:34 > 0:45:38we have no option but committal of your person.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40Committal? Of MY person?
0:45:40 > 0:45:41For six months.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43Oh, for six months? Ha ha!
0:45:43 > 0:45:46No doubt you'll prefer to pay the bill. Pay it?
0:45:46 > 0:45:49How am I going to do that? No gentleman ever has any money.
0:45:49 > 0:45:53In my experience, it is usually relations who pay.
0:45:53 > 0:45:56Oh, all right. Uh, brother Jack?
0:46:03 > 0:46:06762 pounds, 14 shillings,
0:46:06 > 0:46:07and tuppence -
0:46:07 > 0:46:09since last October?
0:46:09 > 0:46:11I'm bound to say
0:46:11 > 0:46:15I never saw such reckless extravagance
0:46:15 > 0:46:17in all my life.
0:46:17 > 0:46:19How ridiculous you are.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22You have your debts, and I have mine.
0:46:22 > 0:46:23You know this bill is yours.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25Mine? Yes, and you know it.
0:46:25 > 0:46:29Mr Worthing... If this is another jest, it is most out of place.
0:46:29 > 0:46:31It is not. Gross effrontery.
0:46:31 > 0:46:32Just what I expected from him.
0:46:32 > 0:46:35And it is ingratitude. I didn't expect that.
0:46:35 > 0:46:39He'll be denying he's Ernest Worthing in the first place.
0:46:41 > 0:46:45I'm sorry to disturb this pleasant family meeting, but time presses.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48We have to be at Holloway not later than four.
0:46:48 > 0:46:51Otherwise, it is difficult to obtain admission.
0:46:51 > 0:46:52Holloway?
0:46:52 > 0:46:54Get off me!
0:46:54 > 0:46:57It is at Holloway that detentions of this character...
0:46:57 > 0:47:01I will not be imprisoned for having dined in the West End!
0:47:01 > 0:47:03Jack!
0:47:03 > 0:47:06I agree to settle my brother's accounts...
0:47:08 > 0:47:11..on the condition that he makes his way without delay
0:47:11 > 0:47:13to the bedside of the poor bed-ridden Bunbury,
0:47:13 > 0:47:17whose health, I am informed, is rapidly declining.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21Well, Ernest?
0:47:44 > 0:47:46ENGINE SPUTTERS
0:47:52 > 0:47:54BICYCLE BELL RINGS
0:47:55 > 0:47:58ENGINE BACKFIRES
0:47:58 > 0:48:01CECILY SPEAKS FRENCH
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Mr Worthing.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07I would ask you not to interrupt
0:48:07 > 0:48:11Miss Cardew's studies. Miss Prism, I almost forgot to mention
0:48:11 > 0:48:13that Dr Chasuble is expecting you in the vestry.
0:48:13 > 0:48:15In the vestry? Dr Chasuble?
0:48:15 > 0:48:17Expecting you, yes.
0:48:17 > 0:48:18That sounds serious.
0:48:18 > 0:48:22I do not think it would be right to keep him waiting, Cecily.
0:48:22 > 0:48:24It would be very, very wrong.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27The vestry is, I am told, excessively damp.
0:48:39 > 0:48:43This parting, Miss Cardew, is very painful.
0:48:43 > 0:48:45But I suppose you cannot desert
0:48:45 > 0:48:47poor Mr Bunbury in his hour of need.
0:48:47 > 0:48:51I don't care about Bunbury. I don't seem to care about anything any more.
0:48:51 > 0:48:52I only care for you.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55I love you, Cecily.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Will you marry me, Cecily? Will you?
0:49:02 > 0:49:04Of course.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07Why, we have been engaged for the last three months.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10For the last three months?
0:49:10 > 0:49:13Yes. It will be exactly three months on Thursday.
0:49:14 > 0:49:16Darling...
0:49:16 > 0:49:17Aah!
0:49:20 > 0:49:24So, when was the engagement actually settled?
0:49:24 > 0:49:26On the 14th of February last.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28After a long struggle with myself,
0:49:28 > 0:49:31I accepted you under this dear old tree here.
0:49:31 > 0:49:32Hmm.
0:49:32 > 0:49:34And this is the box in which I keep all your dear letters.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36My letters?
0:49:36 > 0:49:39But my own sweet Cecily, I have never written any letters.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41You need hardly remind me of that.
0:49:41 > 0:49:44I remember only too well that I was forced to write your letters for you.
0:49:44 > 0:49:47I wrote always three times a week.
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Do let me look at them. Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52They would make you far too conceited.
0:49:52 > 0:49:55The three you wrote me after I had broken off the engagement
0:49:55 > 0:49:57were so beautiful and so badly spelled.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Even now I can hardly read them
0:49:59 > 0:50:01without crying a little.
0:50:01 > 0:50:03Was our engagement ever broken off?
0:50:03 > 0:50:05Yes, of course it was. What?
0:50:05 > 0:50:06On the 22nd of last March.
0:50:06 > 0:50:08You can see the entry if you like.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13"Today I broke off my engagement with Ernest.
0:50:13 > 0:50:15"The weather still continues charming."
0:50:15 > 0:50:18Why did you break it off? I had done nothing at all.
0:50:18 > 0:50:21Cecily, I'm very much hurt to hear you broke it off.
0:50:21 > 0:50:22When the weather was charming.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25It would hardly have been a really serious engagement
0:50:25 > 0:50:28if I hadn't broken it off at least once, Ernest.
0:50:28 > 0:50:31But I forgave you before the week was out.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33Oh, you're a perfect angel.
0:50:33 > 0:50:35You dear romantic boy.
0:50:41 > 0:50:43MUSIC PLAYS
0:50:57 > 0:50:58You know...
0:50:58 > 0:51:02I never really thought of myself as the marrying kind until now.
0:51:02 > 0:51:04You mustn't break it off again, Cecily.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06I don't think I could break it off
0:51:06 > 0:51:09now that I've actually met you.
0:51:09 > 0:51:13Besides, of course, there is the question of your name.
0:51:13 > 0:51:14MUSIC STOPS
0:51:14 > 0:51:16Yes, of course.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18You mustn't laugh at me, darling,
0:51:18 > 0:51:20but it has always been a girlish dream of mine
0:51:20 > 0:51:23to love someone whose name is Ernest.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25There's something in that name
0:51:25 > 0:51:28that seems to inspire confidence.
0:51:28 > 0:51:29My own dear joy,
0:51:29 > 0:51:32do you mean to say you couldn't love me if I had another name?
0:51:32 > 0:51:34But what name? Well...
0:51:35 > 0:51:38I mean, Algy, for instance.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40I might respect you, Ernest,
0:51:40 > 0:51:43I might admire your character,
0:51:43 > 0:51:45but I fear that I would never be able to give you
0:51:45 > 0:51:48my...undivided attention.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53MAN: Ahem.
0:51:53 > 0:51:56The dog cart is ready for you, sir.
0:51:57 > 0:51:58And now you must go,
0:51:58 > 0:52:01for sooner then shall you return.
0:52:04 > 0:52:07Oh, what a charming boy.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11I like his hair so much.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20You wanted to see me, Dr Chasuble?
0:52:22 > 0:52:24I didn't.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28Oh.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31You didn't?
0:52:32 > 0:52:34Oh.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40I'm sorry,
0:52:40 > 0:52:42but merely for the purposes of clarification,
0:52:42 > 0:52:44when you said you didn't,
0:52:44 > 0:52:48did you mean you didn't SAY you wanted to see me
0:52:48 > 0:52:51or that you didn't, in fact, want to see me?
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Isn't language a curious thing?
0:53:00 > 0:53:02Will you excuse me?
0:53:02 > 0:53:04I have a double baptism this afternoon,
0:53:04 > 0:53:06and I have to, um... top up the font.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38SNEEZES LOUDLY Bless you.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43A Miss Fairfax has called to see Mr Worthing -
0:53:43 > 0:53:46on very important business, Miss Fairfax states.
0:53:46 > 0:53:49Mr Worthing is sure to be out soon, Merriman,
0:53:49 > 0:53:52so kindly bring some tea. Yes, ma'am.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58Miss Cardew. Thank you.
0:53:58 > 0:53:59Miss Fairfax,
0:53:59 > 0:54:01pray let me introduce myself to you.
0:54:01 > 0:54:05My name is Cecily Cardew. Cecily Cardew. What a very sweet name.
0:54:05 > 0:54:09Something tells me we're going to be great friends.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12I like you already, and my first impressions are never wrong.
0:54:17 > 0:54:19CECILY COUGHS
0:54:22 > 0:54:24You're here on a short visit, I suppose.
0:54:24 > 0:54:26Oh, no, I live here.
0:54:26 > 0:54:27Really? Your mother, no doubt,
0:54:27 > 0:54:30or some female relative of advanced years
0:54:30 > 0:54:34resides here also. Oh, no. I have no mother, nor, in fact, any relations.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37Indeed. My guardian has the task of looking after me.
0:54:37 > 0:54:40Your guardian? Yes. I'm Mr Worthing's ward.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42Oh.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47It is strange. He never mentioned it.
0:54:47 > 0:54:48How secretive of him.
0:54:48 > 0:54:52He grows more interesting hourly.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55But I am bound to state that
0:54:55 > 0:54:58now that I know you are Mr Worthing's ward,
0:54:58 > 0:55:01I cannot help expressing a wish that you were,
0:55:01 > 0:55:04well, just a little bit older than you seem to be
0:55:04 > 0:55:08and not quite so very alluring in appearance.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10In fact, if I may speak candidly...
0:55:10 > 0:55:13Pray do. I think whenever one has anything unpleasant to say,
0:55:13 > 0:55:15one should always be candid.
0:55:15 > 0:55:19Yes. Well, to speak with perfect candour, Cecily,
0:55:19 > 0:55:21I wish you were fully 42
0:55:21 > 0:55:24and more than usually plain for your age.
0:55:27 > 0:55:30Ernest has a strong, upright nature.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32He's the very soul of truth and honour.
0:55:32 > 0:55:34I think Jack, for instance, Jack.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37I think Jack, for instance, a charming name.
0:55:37 > 0:55:40'Oh, but it is not Mr Ernest Worthing who's my guardian.'
0:55:40 > 0:55:42It is his brother, his elder brother.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45Oh. That accounts for it.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48Cecily, you've lifted a load from my mind.
0:55:48 > 0:55:49I was growing almost anxious.
0:55:49 > 0:55:52Of course, you're quite sure
0:55:52 > 0:55:55it's not Mr Ernest Worthing who is your guardian?
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Quite sure.
0:55:58 > 0:55:59In fact...
0:56:01 > 0:56:03I am going to be his.
0:56:05 > 0:56:06I beg your pardon?
0:56:06 > 0:56:09Mr Ernest Worthing and I are engaged
0:56:09 > 0:56:10to be married.
0:56:10 > 0:56:12Oh.
0:56:13 > 0:56:14My darling Cecily,
0:56:14 > 0:56:17I think there must be some slight error.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19Mr Ernest Worthing is engaged to me.
0:56:19 > 0:56:23The announcement will appear in the Morning Post on Saturday.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26I'm afraid you must be under some misconception.
0:56:26 > 0:56:29Ernest proposed to me ten minutes ago.
0:56:29 > 0:56:31Oh, it's very curious,
0:56:31 > 0:56:32for he asked me to be his wife
0:56:32 > 0:56:35yesterday afternoon at 5:30.
0:56:35 > 0:56:38If you would care to verify the incident,
0:56:38 > 0:56:41pray do so.
0:56:41 > 0:56:42I never travel without my diary.
0:56:42 > 0:56:46One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
0:56:46 > 0:56:48I'm so sorry, dear Cecily,
0:56:48 > 0:56:51but I'm afraid I have the prior claim.
0:57:17 > 0:57:18Ow!
0:57:22 > 0:57:24May I offer you some tea, Miss Fairfax?
0:57:24 > 0:57:26Thank you, Miss Cardew.
0:57:26 > 0:57:27Sugar?
0:57:27 > 0:57:30No, thank you. Sugar is not fashionable anymore.
0:57:49 > 0:57:50Cake or bread and butter?
0:57:50 > 0:57:52Bread and butter, please.
0:57:52 > 0:57:55Cake is rarely seen in the best houses nowadays.
0:58:09 > 0:58:12From the moment I saw you, I distrusted you.
0:58:12 > 0:58:13I felt you were false.
0:58:13 > 0:58:15It seems to me, Miss Fairfax,
0:58:15 > 0:58:18that I am trespassing on your valuable time.
0:58:18 > 0:58:20No doubt, you have many other calls
0:58:20 > 0:58:23of a similar character to make in the neighbourhood.
0:58:23 > 0:58:26Ernest!
0:58:30 > 0:58:32You're back so soon. My own love.
0:58:32 > 0:58:33A moment, Ernest.
0:58:33 > 0:58:37May I ask you, are you engaged to be married to this young lady?
0:58:37 > 0:58:38What young lady?
0:58:39 > 0:58:42Good heavens, Gwendolen! Yes, "Good heavens, Gwendolen."
0:58:42 > 0:58:44Of course not. What put such an idea
0:58:44 > 0:58:46into your pretty little head?
0:58:46 > 0:58:48Thank you. You may.
0:58:48 > 0:58:49I felt there must be some error.
0:58:49 > 0:58:52The gentleman who is now embracing you is my cousin,
0:58:52 > 0:58:55Mr Algernon Moncrieff.
0:58:55 > 0:58:56Algernon?
0:58:56 > 0:58:58Moncrieff?
0:58:58 > 0:59:00Uhh... Yes.
0:59:00 > 0:59:02Algy.
0:59:02 > 0:59:03Ohh!
0:59:03 > 0:59:05Here is Ernest.
0:59:05 > 0:59:07Ohh.
0:59:07 > 0:59:08Oh, my own Ernest.
0:59:08 > 0:59:10Gwendolen, my darling.
0:59:10 > 0:59:13I knew there must be some misunderstanding.
0:59:13 > 0:59:16The gentleman whose arm is at present around your waist
0:59:16 > 0:59:19is my guardian, Mr John Worthing.
0:59:19 > 0:59:21I beg your pardon?
0:59:21 > 0:59:23This is Uncle Jack.
0:59:24 > 0:59:25Jack?
0:59:25 > 0:59:27WHIRRING
0:59:27 > 0:59:28GASPS
0:59:28 > 0:59:31Are you called Algy?
0:59:31 > 0:59:33I cannot deny it.
0:59:33 > 0:59:36Is your name really John?
0:59:36 > 0:59:38I could deny it if I liked.
0:59:38 > 0:59:41I could deny anything, but it certainly is John.
0:59:41 > 0:59:43It has been John for years.
0:59:43 > 0:59:46A gross deception has been practiced on both of us.
0:59:46 > 0:59:49My poor wounded Cecily. My sweet wronged Gwendolen.
0:59:49 > 0:59:51You will call me sister, will you not?
0:59:51 > 0:59:53Of course.
0:59:53 > 0:59:55Let us go into the house, sister.
0:59:55 > 0:59:57They will hardly venture to come after us there.
0:59:57 > 1:00:00No. Men are so cowardly, aren't they?
1:00:05 > 1:00:07How you can sit there calmly eating muffins
1:00:07 > 1:00:09when we're in trouble I don't know.
1:00:09 > 1:00:11You seem to be heartless.
1:00:11 > 1:00:15I can hardly eat muffins in an agitated manner, can I?
1:00:15 > 1:00:17The butter would get on my cuffs.
1:00:17 > 1:00:21It's perfectly heartless you're eating muffins at all.
1:00:21 > 1:00:23Eating is my only consolation.
1:00:23 > 1:00:25Indeed, when I'm in really great trouble,
1:00:25 > 1:00:28as anyone who knows me intimately will tell you,
1:00:28 > 1:00:31I refuse everything except food and drink.
1:00:31 > 1:00:34At the present moment, I am eating muffins because I am unhappy.
1:00:34 > 1:00:37Besides, I am particularly fond of muffins.
1:00:37 > 1:00:41There's no reason why you should eat them all in that greedy way.
1:00:44 > 1:00:47Would you like some tea cake? I don't like tea cake.
1:00:47 > 1:00:49Good heavens. I suppose a man
1:00:49 > 1:00:52may eat his own muffins in his own garden.
1:00:52 > 1:00:54They seem to be eating muffins.
1:00:56 > 1:01:00But you just said it was perfectly heartless to eat muffins.
1:01:00 > 1:01:03I said it was perfectly heartless of YOU.
1:01:03 > 1:01:06That is a different thing. Maybe, but the muffins are the same.
1:01:06 > 1:01:08No. Give them to me!
1:01:08 > 1:01:12Well, I certainly don't rate your chances with my ward, Algernon.
1:01:12 > 1:01:17I don't think there's much likelihood of you, Jack, and Miss Fairfax being united, Jack!
1:01:32 > 1:01:34But is there any particular infant
1:01:34 > 1:01:36in whom you are interested, Mr Worthing?
1:01:36 > 1:01:38The fact is, dear doctor,
1:01:38 > 1:01:40I would like to be christened myself.
1:01:41 > 1:01:45This afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.
1:01:45 > 1:01:49Surely... Mr Worthing, you've been christened already.
1:01:49 > 1:01:51I don't remember anything about it.
1:01:51 > 1:01:55Of course, I don't know if the thing would bother you in any way
1:01:55 > 1:01:57or if you think that I'm a little too old now.
1:01:57 > 1:01:59No, no, no, no, no.
1:01:59 > 1:02:01Not at all, not at all, not at all.
1:02:01 > 1:02:04The sprinkling and, indeed, immersion of adults
1:02:04 > 1:02:07is a perfectly canonical practice.
1:02:07 > 1:02:09Um, what hour would you wish
1:02:09 > 1:02:11the ceremony performed?
1:02:11 > 1:02:14I might trot round at about six if that would suit you.
1:02:14 > 1:02:16Oh, perfectly, perfectly.
1:02:16 > 1:02:17Thank you.
1:02:22 > 1:02:25But we cannot both be christened Ernest. It's absurd.
1:02:25 > 1:02:27I have a right to be christened.
1:02:27 > 1:02:30You've been christened already. Yes, but not for years.
1:02:30 > 1:02:32Yes, but you've been christened.
1:02:32 > 1:02:35Quite so. So, I know my constitution can stand it.
1:02:35 > 1:02:38If you're not sure about having been christened,
1:02:38 > 1:02:41I think it rather dangerous your venturing on it now.
1:02:41 > 1:02:44Oh, nonsense. You are always talking nonsense.
1:02:52 > 1:02:54THEY LAUGH
1:02:56 > 1:02:58PIANO PLAYS FAINTLY
1:03:05 > 1:03:07Let us preserve a dignified silence.
1:03:07 > 1:03:10Certainly. It's the only thing to do now.
1:03:11 > 1:03:16JACK: # The western wind is blowing fair
1:03:16 > 1:03:19ALGY: # Across the dark Aegean sea
1:03:19 > 1:03:23BOTH: # And at the secret marble stair
1:03:23 > 1:03:27# My Tyrian galley waits for thee
1:03:27 > 1:03:30# Come down the purple sail is spread
1:03:30 > 1:03:34# The watchman sleeps within the town... #
1:03:34 > 1:03:38This dignified silence seems to have had an unpleasant effect.
1:03:38 > 1:03:40A most distasteful one.
1:03:40 > 1:03:43# O lady mine, Come down, come down
1:03:43 > 1:03:46# Dum dum dum dum # Lady, come down... #
1:03:46 > 1:03:49DOOR SLAMS
1:03:54 > 1:03:57SONG BEGINS AGAIN
1:03:57 > 1:04:00# She will not come I know her well
1:04:00 > 1:04:05# Of lover's vows she hath no care
1:04:05 > 1:04:09# And little good a man can tell
1:04:09 > 1:04:12# For one so cruel and so fair
1:04:12 > 1:04:16# True love is but a woman's toy
1:04:16 > 1:04:20# They never know the lover's pain
1:04:20 > 1:04:24# And I who loved as love's a boy
1:04:24 > 1:04:28# Must love in vain Must love in vain
1:04:28 > 1:04:30# Come down
1:04:31 > 1:04:33# Lady, come down
1:04:33 > 1:04:36# Dum dum dum dum # Come down
1:04:36 > 1:04:40# Dum dum dum dum # Lady, come down
1:04:40 > 1:04:44# Dum dum dum dum # Lady, come down. #
1:04:44 > 1:04:46We will not be the first to speak. Certainly not.
1:04:46 > 1:04:50Mr Worthing, I have something to ask you. Much depends on your reply.
1:04:50 > 1:04:53Gwendolen, your common sense is invaluable.
1:04:53 > 1:04:56Mr Moncrieff, kindly answer me the following question.
1:04:56 > 1:04:59Why did you pretend to be my guardian's brother?
1:04:59 > 1:05:01In order that I might meet you.
1:05:01 > 1:05:05That seems a satisfactory explanation, does it not?
1:05:05 > 1:05:07Yes, dear, if you can believe him.
1:05:07 > 1:05:09Well, I don't, but that doesn't affect
1:05:09 > 1:05:11the wonderful beauty of his answer.
1:05:11 > 1:05:13True. In matters of grave importance,
1:05:13 > 1:05:15style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.
1:05:15 > 1:05:18Mr Worthing, what possible explanation
1:05:18 > 1:05:20can you offer me for pretending to have a brother?
1:05:25 > 1:05:27Was it in order that you might have an opportunity
1:05:27 > 1:05:31of coming up to town to see me as often as possible?
1:05:31 > 1:05:34Can you doubt it, Miss Fairfax?
1:05:34 > 1:05:36I have the gravest doubts on the subject,
1:05:36 > 1:05:39but I intend to crush them.
1:05:40 > 1:05:44Their explanations appear to be quite satisfactory,
1:05:45 > 1:05:47..especially Mr Worthing's.
1:05:47 > 1:05:49That seems to me to have the stamp of truth.
1:05:49 > 1:05:51I am content with Mr Moncrieff.
1:05:51 > 1:05:55WHISPERING: His voice alone seemed to inspire credulity.
1:05:55 > 1:05:57You think we should forgive them? Yes.
1:05:57 > 1:06:00HE PLUCKS NOTE I mean, no.
1:06:00 > 1:06:04True, there are principles at stake that one cannot surrender.
1:06:13 > 1:06:17BOTH: Your Christian names are still an insuperable barrier.
1:06:17 > 1:06:20That is all. Our Christian names? Is that all?
1:06:20 > 1:06:22We're going to be christened today.
1:06:22 > 1:06:26For my sake you're prepared to do this terrible thing?
1:06:25 > 1:06:26I am.
1:06:26 > 1:06:30To please me you're ready to face this fearful ordeal?
1:06:29 > 1:06:30I am.
1:06:30 > 1:06:34Where self-sacrifice is concerned men are beyond us.
1:06:33 > 1:06:34We are.
1:06:34 > 1:06:35Darling.
1:06:35 > 1:06:36Darling.
1:06:36 > 1:06:38CLEARS THROAT
1:06:38 > 1:06:40Lady Bracknell.
1:06:40 > 1:06:42Gwendolen!
1:06:42 > 1:06:44What does this mean?
1:06:44 > 1:06:46Merely that I am engaged to be married
1:06:46 > 1:06:48to Mr Worthing, Mama.
1:06:48 > 1:06:49Come here.
1:06:49 > 1:06:51Sit down.
1:06:52 > 1:06:54Sit down immediately.
1:07:00 > 1:07:02Of course, you will clearly understand, sir,
1:07:02 > 1:07:06that all communication must cease immediately from this moment.
1:07:06 > 1:07:08On this point, as indeed on all points, I am firm.
1:07:08 > 1:07:11I am engaged to be married to Gwendolen.
1:07:11 > 1:07:14You are nothing of the kind, sir.
1:07:16 > 1:07:20And now, as regards Algy...
1:07:22 > 1:07:24Algy?
1:07:24 > 1:07:25Yes, Aunt Augusta.
1:07:25 > 1:07:27May I ask if it is in this house
1:07:27 > 1:07:30that your Mr Bunbury resides?
1:07:30 > 1:07:32Oh, no, Bunbury doesn't live here.
1:07:32 > 1:07:34Bunbury's somewhere else at the present.
1:07:34 > 1:07:36In fact, um,
1:07:36 > 1:07:39Bunbury is dead.
1:07:40 > 1:07:43Dead? Dead.
1:07:43 > 1:07:47When did Mr Bunbury die? It must've been extremely sudden.
1:07:47 > 1:07:49Bunbury died this afternoon.
1:07:49 > 1:07:51What did he die of?
1:07:51 > 1:07:52Bunbury?
1:07:52 > 1:07:55He was quite exploded.
1:07:55 > 1:07:58Exploded?
1:07:58 > 1:08:02Mm. Was he the victim of some revolutionary outrage?
1:08:02 > 1:08:05I was not aware that he was interested in social legislation.
1:08:05 > 1:08:08My dear Aunt Augusta, I mean he was found out.
1:08:08 > 1:08:11The doctors found out that Bunbury could not live.
1:08:11 > 1:08:14That is what I mean. So Bunbury died.
1:08:14 > 1:08:17He seems to have had great confidence
1:08:17 > 1:08:18in the opinion of his physicians.
1:08:18 > 1:08:21I am glad, however, that he made his up mind at the last
1:08:21 > 1:08:25to some definite course of action, and acted under medical advice.
1:08:25 > 1:08:29And now that we have finally got rid of this Mr Bunbury,
1:08:29 > 1:08:32may I ask, Mr Worthing, who is that young person
1:08:32 > 1:08:35whose hand my nephew Algernon is now holding
1:08:35 > 1:08:36in what seems to me
1:08:36 > 1:08:39to be a peculiarly unnecessary manner?
1:08:39 > 1:08:41That lady is Miss Cecily Cardew, my ward.
1:08:41 > 1:08:44Yes, I am engaged to be married to Cecily, Aunt Augusta.
1:08:44 > 1:08:45I beg your pardon?
1:08:45 > 1:08:48Mr Moncrieff and I are engaged to be married.
1:08:48 > 1:08:50I do not know whether there's anything
1:08:50 > 1:08:52peculiarly exciting about the air
1:08:52 > 1:08:54of this part of Hertfordshire,
1:08:54 > 1:08:57but the number of engagements that go on seem to me
1:08:57 > 1:08:58to be above the proper average
1:08:58 > 1:09:02that statistics have laid down for our guidance.
1:09:02 > 1:09:06Mr Worthing, is Miss Cardew at all connected
1:09:06 > 1:09:08with any of the larger railway stations in London?
1:09:08 > 1:09:12I merely desire information.
1:09:12 > 1:09:16Until recently, I was not aware that there were families or persons
1:09:16 > 1:09:18whose origin was a terminus.
1:09:20 > 1:09:23Gwendolen, the time approaches for our departure.
1:09:23 > 1:09:25We have not a moment to lose.
1:09:25 > 1:09:28Mr Worthing, I'd better ask if Miss Cardew has any fortune.
1:09:28 > 1:09:31Oh, about £130,000 in the funds, that is all.
1:09:31 > 1:09:35Goodbye, Lady Bracknell. A moment, Mr Worthing.
1:09:36 > 1:09:40£130,000?
1:09:41 > 1:09:43And in the funds?
1:09:46 > 1:09:50Miss Cardew seems to me to be a most attractive young lady,
1:09:50 > 1:09:51now that I look at her.
1:09:51 > 1:09:54Come over here, dear.
1:09:57 > 1:09:59The chin a little higher, dear.
1:09:59 > 1:10:02Style largely depends on the way the chin is worn.
1:10:02 > 1:10:06They're worn very high just at present. Algy?
1:10:06 > 1:10:07Yes, Aunt Augusta.
1:10:07 > 1:10:10There are possibilities in Miss Cardew's profile.
1:10:10 > 1:10:12Cecily is the sweetest, prettiest girl
1:10:12 > 1:10:15and I don't give tuppence for her social possibilities.
1:10:15 > 1:10:18Never speak disrespectfully of society, Algernon.
1:10:18 > 1:10:21Only people who can't get into it do that.
1:10:21 > 1:10:24Dear child, you know, of course,
1:10:24 > 1:10:27that Algy has nothing but his debts to depend upon.
1:10:27 > 1:10:31But I do not approve of mercenary marriages.
1:10:31 > 1:10:34Indeed, when I married Lord Bracknell,
1:10:34 > 1:10:36I had no fortune of any kind.
1:10:36 > 1:10:38MUSIC PLAYS
1:10:38 > 1:10:40PEOPLE CHEER
1:10:47 > 1:10:50LADY BRACKNELL: But I never dreamed for a moment
1:10:50 > 1:10:53of allowing that to stand in my way.
1:10:56 > 1:11:00Well, I suppose I give my consent. Thank you, Aunt Augusta.
1:11:00 > 1:11:03I beg your pardon, Lady Bracknell, but I am Miss Cardew's guardian.
1:11:03 > 1:11:06She cannot marry without my consent until she comes of age,
1:11:06 > 1:11:10and that consent I absolutely decline to give.
1:11:10 > 1:11:13Upon what grounds, may I ask?
1:11:13 > 1:11:16I suspect him of being untruthful.
1:11:16 > 1:11:18Untruthful?
1:11:18 > 1:11:20My nephew Algy?
1:11:20 > 1:11:23I fear there can be no possible doubt about the matter.
1:11:27 > 1:11:29During my temporary absence in London
1:11:29 > 1:11:32on an important question of romance,
1:11:32 > 1:11:34he obtained admission to my house
1:11:34 > 1:11:38by means of the false pretence of being my brother.
1:11:38 > 1:11:42He then proceeded to win over the affections of my only ward,
1:11:42 > 1:11:45when his own intentions, I'm convinced, were purely financial.
1:11:45 > 1:11:47Deny it if you dare.
1:11:47 > 1:11:49He subsequently stayed to tea
1:11:49 > 1:11:52and devoured every single muffin,
1:11:52 > 1:11:54and what makes his behaviour more heartless
1:11:54 > 1:11:57is that he was aware from the start that I have no brother,
1:11:57 > 1:12:00and that I don't intend to have a brother.
1:12:00 > 1:12:02Uncle Jack, please! Oh, my word, Jack.
1:12:02 > 1:12:05Come here, sweet child.
1:12:05 > 1:12:07How old are you, dear?
1:12:07 > 1:12:0818, Aunt Augusta.
1:12:08 > 1:12:1018.
1:12:10 > 1:12:13Well, it will not be long before you are of age
1:12:13 > 1:12:16and free from the restraints of your guardian.
1:12:16 > 1:12:18According to the terms of her grandfather's will,
1:12:18 > 1:12:21she is not legally of age until she is 35.
1:12:21 > 1:12:25That does not seem to me to be a grave objection.
1:12:25 > 1:12:2735 is a very attractive age.
1:12:27 > 1:12:29London society is full of women
1:12:29 > 1:12:31of the very highest birth who have,
1:12:31 > 1:12:34of their own free choice, remained 35 for years.
1:12:34 > 1:12:37Algy, could you wait for me till I was 35?
1:12:37 > 1:12:39Of course I could. You know I could.
1:12:39 > 1:12:40Yes, I felt it instinctively.
1:12:40 > 1:12:42But I couldn't wait all that time.
1:12:42 > 1:12:44Then what is to be done, Cecily?
1:12:44 > 1:12:47I don't know, Mr Moncrieff.
1:12:48 > 1:12:50My dear Mr Worthing,
1:12:50 > 1:12:53as Miss Cardew states quite positively
1:12:53 > 1:12:56that she cannot wait until she is 35 -
1:12:56 > 1:12:58a remark which I am bound to say
1:12:58 > 1:13:00seems to me to show a somewhat impatient nature -
1:13:00 > 1:13:04I would beg you to reconsider your decision.
1:13:04 > 1:13:05But my dear Lady Bracknell,
1:13:05 > 1:13:08the matter is entirely in your own hands.
1:13:08 > 1:13:10If you consent to my marriage with Gwendolen,
1:13:10 > 1:13:14I will gladly allow your nephew to form an alliance with my ward.
1:13:15 > 1:13:18You must be aware that what you propose
1:13:18 > 1:13:20is out of the question.
1:13:20 > 1:13:22Then a passionate celibacy
1:13:22 > 1:13:24is all any of us can look forward to.
1:13:25 > 1:13:26Oh, but Mama! Come, dear.
1:13:26 > 1:13:29We've already missed five or six trains.
1:13:29 > 1:13:31To miss any more might expose us to comment.
1:13:31 > 1:13:33Everything is quite ready
1:13:33 > 1:13:36for the christenings.
1:13:36 > 1:13:37The christenings, sir?
1:13:37 > 1:13:40Is not that somewhat premature?
1:13:40 > 1:13:42But both of these gentlemen have expressed a desire
1:13:42 > 1:13:44for immediate baptism.
1:13:44 > 1:13:45At their age?
1:13:45 > 1:13:48The idea is grotesque and irreligious.
1:13:48 > 1:13:50Algy, I forbid you to be baptised.
1:13:50 > 1:13:53I will not hear of such excesses.
1:13:54 > 1:13:57I'm sorry to interrupt,
1:13:57 > 1:13:58Dr Chasuble.
1:13:58 > 1:14:00Yes, yes.
1:14:04 > 1:14:06Miss Prism has asked me to tell you
1:14:06 > 1:14:09she's waiting for you in the vestry.
1:14:09 > 1:14:11Indeed, I believe she's been waiting for some time.
1:14:11 > 1:14:15Miss Prism...
1:14:15 > 1:14:16in the vestry.
1:14:16 > 1:14:18Waiting for you.
1:14:18 > 1:14:20Yes.
1:14:20 > 1:14:21Miss Prism?
1:14:22 > 1:14:25Did I hear you mention a Miss Prism?
1:14:25 > 1:14:26Yes, Madame, I'm...
1:14:26 > 1:14:31I'm on my...
1:14:30 > 1:14:31Bless you. Bless.
1:14:31 > 1:14:33Yes, Madame, I'm on my way to join her.
1:14:33 > 1:14:36Is this Miss Prism a female of repellent aspect,
1:14:36 > 1:14:38connected with education?
1:14:38 > 1:14:41She is the most cultivated of ladies
1:14:41 > 1:14:43and the picture of respectability.
1:14:43 > 1:14:45It is obviously the same person.
1:14:45 > 1:14:48Dr Chasuble, take me to the vestry at once.
1:14:57 > 1:15:00I've been expecting you, dear doctor.
1:15:02 > 1:15:04LADY BRACKNELL: Prism!
1:15:10 > 1:15:11Prism.
1:15:19 > 1:15:20Prism!
1:15:26 > 1:15:28Where is that baby?
1:15:44 > 1:15:46< 34 years ago, Prism,
1:15:46 > 1:15:48you left Lord Bracknell's house,
1:15:48 > 1:15:50104 Upper Grosvener Street,
1:15:50 > 1:15:54in charge of a perambulator that contained a baby of the male sex.
1:15:55 > 1:15:57You never returned.
1:15:57 > 1:15:59A few weeks later,
1:15:59 > 1:16:02through the elaborate investigations of the police,
1:16:02 > 1:16:04the perambulator was discovered at midnight
1:16:04 > 1:16:09standing by itself in a remote corner of Bayswater.
1:16:09 > 1:16:12It contained the manuscript of a three-volume novel
1:16:12 > 1:16:16of more than usually revolting sentimentality.
1:16:17 > 1:16:20But the baby was not there.
1:16:20 > 1:16:22Prism, where is that baby?
1:16:22 > 1:16:24Lady Bracknell,
1:16:24 > 1:16:28I admit with shame that I do not know.
1:16:28 > 1:16:31The plain facts of the case are these.
1:16:31 > 1:16:33On the morning of the day in question -
1:16:33 > 1:16:36a day that is forever branded on my memory -
1:16:36 > 1:16:38I prepared, as usual,
1:16:38 > 1:16:41to take the baby out in its perambulator.
1:16:41 > 1:16:44I had also with me a somewhat old,
1:16:44 > 1:16:46but capacious handbag,
1:16:46 > 1:16:49in which I had intended to place the manuscript
1:16:49 > 1:16:51of a work of fiction that I had written
1:16:51 > 1:16:55during my few unoccupied hours.
1:16:55 > 1:16:58In a moment of mental abstraction,
1:16:58 > 1:17:01for which I never can forgive myself,
1:17:01 > 1:17:03I deposited the manuscript
1:17:03 > 1:17:04in the bassinet...
1:17:08 > 1:17:12And placed the baby in the handbag.
1:17:17 > 1:17:19MISS PRISM: ...Manuscript in the bassinet,
1:17:19 > 1:17:23and placed the baby in the handbag.
1:17:25 > 1:17:27But where did you deposit the handbag?
1:17:28 > 1:17:30Do not ask me, Mr Worthing.
1:17:30 > 1:17:33Miss Prism, this is a matter of no small importance to me.
1:17:33 > 1:17:37I insist on knowing where you deposited the handbag that contained that infant.
1:17:38 > 1:17:40I left it in the cloakroom
1:17:40 > 1:17:43of one of the larger railway stations in London.
1:17:43 > 1:17:45What railway station?
1:17:45 > 1:17:47Victoria.
1:17:47 > 1:17:50The Brighton line.
1:17:52 > 1:17:53I...
1:18:04 > 1:18:07Uncle Jack seems strangely agitated.
1:18:14 > 1:18:16Is this the handbag, Miss Prism?
1:18:22 > 1:18:24Examine it carefully before you speak.
1:18:24 > 1:18:28The happiness of more than one life depends on your answer.
1:18:28 > 1:18:30The bag is undoubtedly mine.
1:18:30 > 1:18:33I am delighted to have it
1:18:33 > 1:18:35so unexpectedly restored to me.
1:18:35 > 1:18:37It has been a great inconvenience
1:18:37 > 1:18:38being without it.
1:18:38 > 1:18:41Miss Prism, more is restored to you than this handbag.
1:18:41 > 1:18:45I was the baby you placed in it.
1:18:45 > 1:18:47You? Yes.
1:18:47 > 1:18:49Mother!
1:18:49 > 1:18:52Oh, Mr Worthing, I am unmarried.
1:18:52 > 1:18:53Unmarried?
1:18:53 > 1:18:55I cannot deny that is a serious blow.
1:18:55 > 1:18:57But after all, who has the right
1:18:57 > 1:19:00to cast a stone against one who has suffered?
1:19:00 > 1:19:03Cannot repentance wipe out an act of folly?
1:19:03 > 1:19:06Mother, I forgive you! No, Mr Worthing!
1:19:06 > 1:19:09There is some error.
1:19:09 > 1:19:11There is the lady
1:19:11 > 1:19:14who can tell you who you really are.
1:19:16 > 1:19:19Lady Bracknell, I hate to seem inquisitive,
1:19:19 > 1:19:23but would you kindly inform me who I am?
1:19:23 > 1:19:25You are the son of my poor sister
1:19:25 > 1:19:27Mrs Moncrieff,
1:19:27 > 1:19:30and consequently Algy's younger brother.
1:19:35 > 1:19:37Algy's younger brother?
1:19:56 > 1:19:58Hmm.
1:19:59 > 1:20:02BABY CRIES
1:20:02 > 1:20:04So...
1:20:04 > 1:20:07I have a brother after all.
1:20:07 > 1:20:09Yes.
1:20:15 > 1:20:17I knew I had a brother!
1:20:19 > 1:20:21I always said I had a brother. Heh.
1:20:21 > 1:20:25Cecily, how could you ever have doubted that I had a brother?
1:20:25 > 1:20:28Dr Chasuble, my unfortunate brother.
1:20:27 > 1:20:28How do you do?
1:20:28 > 1:20:30Miss Prism, my unfortunate brother.
1:20:29 > 1:20:30How do you do?
1:20:30 > 1:20:33Gwendolen, my unfortunate brother.
1:20:32 > 1:20:33How do you do?
1:20:33 > 1:20:36Lady Bracknell, my-my brother.
1:20:36 > 1:20:38Algy! Algy!
1:20:38 > 1:20:39Oh!
1:20:39 > 1:20:41Oh!
1:20:52 > 1:20:55Under these strange and unforeseen circumstances,
1:20:55 > 1:21:00Mr Moncrieff, you may kiss your Aunt Augusta.
1:21:12 > 1:21:14MISS PRISM: Mr Moncrieff.
1:21:14 > 1:21:17After all that has occurred
1:21:17 > 1:21:20and any inconvenience I may have caused you
1:21:20 > 1:21:21in your infancy,
1:21:21 > 1:21:24I feel it is my duty to resign
1:21:24 > 1:21:26my position in this household.
1:21:26 > 1:21:29Miss Prism, the suggestion is absurd. I won't hear of it.
1:21:29 > 1:21:31Sir, it is my duty to leave.
1:21:31 > 1:21:35I have really nothing more to teach dear Cecily.
1:21:35 > 1:21:38In the very difficult accomplishment
1:21:38 > 1:21:40of getting married,
1:21:40 > 1:21:42I fear my sweet and clever pupil
1:21:42 > 1:21:45has far outstripped her teacher.
1:22:04 > 1:22:06A moment, um, Miss Prism. >
1:22:09 > 1:22:11Dr Chasuble.
1:22:11 > 1:22:13I've come to the conclusion
1:22:13 > 1:22:16that the church is in error
1:22:16 > 1:22:19on certain points on the question of matrimony.
1:22:19 > 1:22:21Um, corrupt readings
1:22:21 > 1:22:24seem to have crept into the text.
1:22:24 > 1:22:28In consequence, I...
1:22:28 > 1:22:30I beg to solicit
1:22:30 > 1:22:33the honour of your hand.
1:22:33 > 1:22:36Frederick.
1:22:36 > 1:22:38Letitia.
1:22:39 > 1:22:41My dear Cecily.
1:22:41 > 1:22:42My dearest Algernon.
1:22:42 > 1:22:43My own Gwendolen.
1:22:43 > 1:22:45My own...but wait! Who are you?
1:22:45 > 1:22:48I mean, what is your Christian name, Mr Moncrieff?
1:22:48 > 1:22:50Now you have become someone else.
1:22:50 > 1:22:53Good heavens, I'd quite forgotten.
1:22:53 > 1:22:55The question had better be cleared up at once.
1:22:55 > 1:22:57Aunt Augusta, a moment.
1:22:57 > 1:23:00At the time when Miss Prism left me in the handbag,
1:23:00 > 1:23:01had I been christened?
1:23:01 > 1:23:04Yes, I think you were christened after your father.
1:23:04 > 1:23:07I see. Then what was my father's Christian name?
1:23:07 > 1:23:09I cannot at the present moment recall
1:23:09 > 1:23:12what the general's name was. I have no doubt he had one.
1:23:12 > 1:23:15Algy, can't you recollect his Christian name?
1:23:15 > 1:23:18We were hardly on speaking terms. He died when I was three.
1:23:18 > 1:23:22His name would appear on the army lists, I suppose, Aunt Augusta.
1:23:22 > 1:23:24The general was essentially a man of peace,
1:23:24 > 1:23:26except in his domestic life.
1:23:26 > 1:23:28But no doubt his name would appear
1:23:28 > 1:23:30on any military directory.
1:23:32 > 1:23:35The army lists of the last 40 years are here.
1:23:35 > 1:23:39These delightful records should have been my constant study.
1:23:39 > 1:23:41Lieutenants, captains,
1:23:41 > 1:23:43colonels...
1:23:43 > 1:23:45Oh! Colonels.
1:23:45 > 1:23:46Generals.
1:23:46 > 1:23:48M.
1:23:48 > 1:23:51Maxbohm, Magley,
1:23:51 > 1:23:52Markby, Migsby, Mobbs,
1:23:52 > 1:23:54Moncrieff.
1:23:54 > 1:23:55Lieutenant, 1860.
1:23:55 > 1:23:58Christian names...
1:24:11 > 1:24:14I always told you, Gwendolen,
1:24:14 > 1:24:17that my name was Ernest, didn't I?
1:24:19 > 1:24:21Well, it is Ernest after all.
1:24:24 > 1:24:27I mean, it naturally is Ernest.
1:24:27 > 1:24:28Ernest.
1:24:28 > 1:24:31My own Ernest. I felt from the first
1:24:31 > 1:24:33that you could have no other name.
1:24:35 > 1:24:36Mmm.
1:25:10 > 1:25:12My nephew.
1:25:13 > 1:25:16You seem to be displaying signs of triviality.
1:25:16 > 1:25:18On the contrary, Aunt Augusta,
1:25:18 > 1:25:21I've now realised for the first time in my life,
1:25:21 > 1:25:24the vital importance of being Ernest.
1:25:53 > 1:25:58JACK AND ALGY, SINGING: # Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm
1:25:58 > 1:26:01JACK: # The western wind is blowing fair
1:26:01 > 1:26:05# Across the dark Aegean sea
1:26:05 > 1:26:09ALGY: # And at the secret marble stair
1:26:09 > 1:26:12# My Tyrian galley waits for thee
1:26:12 > 1:26:17BOTH: # Come down The purple sail is spread
1:26:17 > 1:26:20# The watchman sleeps within the town
1:26:20 > 1:26:24# Oh leave thy lily-flowered bed
1:26:24 > 1:26:28# O lady mine, come down
1:26:28 > 1:26:30# Come down
1:26:32 > 1:26:34# Lady, come down
1:26:36 > 1:26:39# Come down
1:26:39 > 1:26:42# Lady, come down
1:26:42 > 1:26:45# Oh lady, come down
1:26:48 > 1:26:52# Lady, come down... #