Outrageous Fortune

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0:00:09 > 0:00:13This film contains strong language.

0:02:31 > 0:02:35- OW! All right, that's it!- What's the matter, Marie? What happened?

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- She tried to kill me. - Well, isn't that the point?

0:02:38 > 0:02:44No, Lauren. This is theatrical fencing - it isn't an autopsy. OK?

0:02:44 > 0:02:47All right.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Damn it. I don't even know why we have to do this.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53If you want to do Shakespeare, Shakespearian people have duels.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57- Not the women. - It's my ambition to play Hamlet.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00- Oh, that'll pack 'em in the aisles(!) - Yes.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Paulette.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Ian.

0:03:11 > 0:03:12Good.

0:03:12 > 0:03:13Lauren.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Excellent. ALL MURMUR

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Naomi?

0:03:27 > 0:03:28Bitch!

0:03:32 > 0:03:35- Lauren.- Hi, George.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Have dinner with me tonight?- What?!

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Say yes.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41George!

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Say yes.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Why are you acting like this?

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Because I want to be with you.

0:03:48 > 0:03:53- Well, that's nice! - SHE GIGGLES

0:03:53 > 0:03:56This is so funny, George. I thought you were gay.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58Oh, I am.

0:03:58 > 0:04:03It's just I play so many heterosexual roles that I feel I really need to do some serious research.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Uh-huh...

0:04:06 > 0:04:12- And just when you think there's no greater depth to which an actor can sink...- That's nothing.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14- Remember Fran?- Fran.

0:04:14 > 0:04:20I've got a 50% hearing loss in this ear from him yelling, "Stella!" in bed.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23I swore off actors a year ago.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26I said, if that's the only sub-species of men available,

0:04:26 > 0:04:29I'd rather not date at all. And I haven't.

0:04:29 > 0:04:33But there are other things - my work, I perfect my craft...

0:04:33 > 0:04:35KORZENOWSKI!

0:04:35 > 0:04:37He's taking students!

0:04:37 > 0:04:40But where are you gonna get that kind of money?

0:04:48 > 0:04:50BUZZES

0:04:50 > 0:04:54- 'Who is it?' - It's your sister-in-law.

0:04:54 > 0:04:59- Hurry up - my feet are falling off. - 'Hi, Shirley, glad you finally...

0:04:59 > 0:05:03'Wait a minute... Get in front of the camera.'

0:05:08 > 0:05:10'I knew it.'

0:05:10 > 0:05:14- Come on, Mom - let me in. - 'No, we can't afford it.'

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Mom, please!

0:05:17 > 0:05:21- 'Is that my baby?'- Daddy! - 'Yes, but she can't come in.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25- 'She wants a loan.'- Daddy, can I come in, please, please, please?

0:05:25 > 0:05:29- Daddy?- 'Daniel, what are you...?' LOCK BUZZES

0:05:29 > 0:05:32- 'We don't know she wants money.' - 'Of course she does!'

0:05:32 > 0:05:35- 'We don't know that. ' - That's right, Mom.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39Can't I just drop in to see my parents?

0:05:41 > 0:05:44OK, I need 5,000.

0:05:44 > 0:05:49- But it's to study with Korzenowski. - PARENTS BICKER

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Stanislav Korzenowski. I'll pay you back.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54'What did you say?'

0:05:56 > 0:06:00- I know I owe you some money. - 'You owe us 32,000.'

0:06:00 > 0:06:04But it's THE Korzenowski.

0:06:04 > 0:06:09'Lauren, we sent you to Yale and London and the institute.

0:06:09 > 0:06:14'You have been at this acting thing for years and you haven't earned a dime. You're still a sales girl.

0:06:14 > 0:06:18- 'Honey, maybe it's time for you to give it up...'- Daddy!

0:06:18 > 0:06:21'What did you do? You gave her that money?!'

0:06:21 > 0:06:26- 'She is our only child.' - 'She is sucking us dry!'

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Daddy, 5,000. Thank you, Daddy!

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Oh, thank you! - PARENTS CONTINUE BICKERING

0:06:32 > 0:06:35- Give me back my fucking quarter! - PHONE CLANGS

0:06:35 > 0:06:38Damn!

0:06:50 > 0:06:53I'm Lauren Ames. There's my application.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Your board, your pen

0:06:55 > 0:06:57and my downpayment.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Keep that for now. You still have to audition.

0:07:00 > 0:07:04- Sit down. Mr Korzenowski will call you.- Thank you.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08SHE SIGHS

0:07:08 > 0:07:11SHE DOES VOCAL EXERCISES You nervous?

0:07:11 > 0:07:15- Oh!- Sorry! I'm sorry. - That's OK, I'm...

0:07:15 > 0:07:18It's fine.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20I guess we're all a little bit...

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Right.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Oh, boy - I don't blame you. SHE EXHALES

0:07:25 > 0:07:28This is so intense... Shut up!

0:07:28 > 0:07:33- I'm sorry.- Holy Mary, isn't there one fucking phone in this town that works?!

0:07:35 > 0:07:37You got a phone I can use?

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Yeah, this is Sandy Brozinsky. Who's this?

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Howie! OK, Howie -

0:07:52 > 0:07:57I'm holding this thing that says you're gonna turn off my phone at noon.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00I wanna tell you something - I just got outta the hospital.

0:08:00 > 0:08:06I get home after two months of intensive care, they wheeled me into my building, I find your thingy

0:08:06 > 0:08:10screaming I have until 12 noon today...

0:08:10 > 0:08:12Hey, no YOU listen. YOU listen!

0:08:12 > 0:08:15I just opened the damn thing and laid eyes on it for the first time.

0:08:18 > 0:08:23Was I supposed to have them unhook the life support machine so I could pay my bills?!

0:08:23 > 0:08:27Oh, so now I have three... two minutes to write a cheque

0:08:27 > 0:08:30and wheel myself down to your office, Howie?

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Is that the drill?

0:08:33 > 0:08:37La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la la-la-la -la...

0:08:37 > 0:08:3924 hours?

0:08:39 > 0:08:4124 big ones.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45All right, Howie, you're a prince among men.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48I mean it. I wanna have your child. Yeah, bye.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53La-la-la-la... NO!

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Stop!

0:08:55 > 0:09:00Please...do not screech at anyone else.

0:09:02 > 0:09:06I am trying to prepare for an audition here. Thank you.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Oh, yeah? What for?

0:09:09 > 0:09:13- A workshop with Stanislav Korzenowski.- Who's that?

0:09:13 > 0:09:17Only one of the great geniuses of the theatre.

0:09:17 > 0:09:23- Now if you don't mind...- Hey, maybe I should audition for him too. I'm an actress.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25SHE GIGGLES

0:09:25 > 0:09:28Hey, I'm a pro. I bet I'm more of a pro than you.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30SHE SIGHS

0:09:30 > 0:09:34Uh-huh. Well, I just made 2500 bucks doing a movie.

0:09:34 > 0:09:38- Yeah!- That's where I've seen you! It has been driving me crazy.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41- You saw Ninja Vixens?- I...

0:09:41 > 0:09:43uh...must have.

0:09:43 > 0:09:49Huh. Well, this whole acting thing's been going pretty good. I mean, it's all just bullshittin', right?

0:09:49 > 0:09:53Actors are just bullshitters who get paid.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Where do I sign up?

0:09:55 > 0:09:59Just exactly what do you think you're going to do in there?

0:09:59 > 0:10:01I dunno, I'll make something up.

0:10:01 > 0:10:06You're going in to Stanislav Korzenowski and wing it?!

0:10:06 > 0:10:10Jesus, you'd think I was gonna go in and pee on him.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Listen to me...

0:10:12 > 0:10:16you do not audition for a man of Korzenowski's reputation

0:10:16 > 0:10:22without a prepared classical monologue. That means Shaw, Ibsen, Shakespeare.

0:10:22 > 0:10:26I'm doing Ophelia's mad scene. I'm not waltzing in off the street

0:10:26 > 0:10:29and saying, "Gee, I think I wanna be an actress!"

0:10:29 > 0:10:31You know what I bet?

0:10:31 > 0:10:34I bet you haven't been laid in about a year.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Ames...Lauren.

0:10:41 > 0:10:46Ah... Yes, I'm coming. I-I... will be coming...

0:10:46 > 0:10:49- I-I-I'm ready. I'm...- Quickly.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Have a good mad scene.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57It's really great. I just saw it.

0:11:24 > 0:11:28I will not only wish you to absorb everything I say,

0:11:28 > 0:11:34I will also wish you to keep notes about everything that I say.

0:11:34 > 0:11:38And...I will wish to look at those notes.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42Now if you say this is like high school,

0:11:42 > 0:11:44I do not apologise.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49I am not egotist.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52But I want to know that you record my ideas.

0:11:52 > 0:11:56If you do not, you are gone from the class.

0:11:56 > 0:11:59All right, we begin.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01We begin with...

0:12:01 > 0:12:03vowel groups.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Vowel groups?

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Mr Wilder...

0:12:11 > 0:12:14..do you know the difference between a Texas deep song

0:12:14 > 0:12:17and a Georgia deep song?

0:12:18 > 0:12:25Sorry I'm late! They made me fill in one of these dumbass financial aid forms. You want 'em?

0:12:25 > 0:12:29I cannot believe...I absolutely cannot believe he let her in.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31And on scholarship!

0:12:31 > 0:12:34I just bet I know what she did as an audition.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36The woman has no training,

0:12:36 > 0:12:39no experience... I mean, correct me if I'm wrong.

0:12:39 > 0:12:44I really thought if you worked at your craft, just possibly, you'd get to work with one of the greats.

0:12:44 > 0:12:47It's 2.95, not 295.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50I knew that!

0:12:50 > 0:12:52SHE SIGHS

0:12:52 > 0:12:56Something's seriously wrong with my life.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Excuse me.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Are you all right?- Better.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07I was just...um...

0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Who cares? May I help you?- Yeah. Have you got something in a pumpkin?

0:13:11 > 0:13:13The shade pumpkin?

0:13:13 > 0:13:18- No, a pumpkin costume.- Oh.- God, I sound like an idiot!

0:13:18 > 0:13:22- The reason is that I teach grammar school.- You're a school teacher?

0:13:22 > 0:13:26- Uh-huh.- You're not an actor?- God, no. I'd be awful. Why do you ask?

0:13:26 > 0:13:30Oh, there's just so many actors who come in here. Please go on.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34We're putting on a little pageant and there's a kid in my class

0:13:34 > 0:13:39who's very insecure. The other kids pick on him and his mom doesn't sew

0:13:39 > 0:13:43and I think it would give him such a boost to have the best costume.

0:13:43 > 0:13:47So I thought a professional costumers' would have an incredible pumpkin.

0:13:47 > 0:13:52But I can't go more than 50 cos this is coming out of my own pocket.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57I'm really sorry, I don't think we have a pumpkin.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00What about a squash?

0:14:00 > 0:14:04We don't have any vegetables as such.

0:14:04 > 0:14:09- I'm sorry.- Well, this is the last place on the list.

0:14:09 > 0:14:14But... I'll just throw something together myself.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16I really appreciate your time. Thanks.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Um...uh...listen...

0:14:18 > 0:14:22- I don't know...maybe someone... maybe- I- could...

0:14:22 > 0:14:27I've made a lot of my own costumes. I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30If I could help out, I'd...like to.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32Oh, that would be fabulous.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45I hope you'll forgive me, Lauren.

0:14:45 > 0:14:49- What?- I don't usually lunge at women like that.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51- Oh!- But you just...

0:14:54 > 0:14:56..I just had to kiss you.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00I really am sorry and I hope that you'll want to see me again.

0:15:00 > 0:15:05- Hmm, where in the world did you come from?- New Mexico, originally.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09No, no...I mean, how can a man so delightful as you

0:15:09 > 0:15:13be just wandering the streets of New York?

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Single! Single!

0:15:15 > 0:15:18- Yeah, I can't believe it.- That's not by choice. I'd like to be married.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23- This isn't happening.- Why not?

0:15:23 > 0:15:27Well, there must be something wrong with you. Don't you have any faults?

0:15:29 > 0:15:31I smoke.

0:15:31 > 0:15:35You smoke? That's it? Call the police!

0:15:35 > 0:15:38No, no, no. It's an addiction.

0:15:38 > 0:15:42Colton's Tobacco. New Mexico's finest.

0:15:42 > 0:15:44I hope you don't mind.

0:15:44 > 0:15:49Well, I'll... struggle through somehow.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52HE CHUCKLES Good. Very good.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55Because I'd like to see you again.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Tomorrow night.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Well...yes.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14Mmm...thank you.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22What's this?

0:16:22 > 0:16:26"Ooh-ee-ooh-aah-ee-aah-ooh."

0:16:26 > 0:16:30- That's what you do in acting class? - Those are vowel groups.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34Sorry - wow-ell gr-roups.

0:16:34 > 0:16:38- Ooh. - RUSSIAN ACCENT: Ooh, I feel the same way.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42Will you please kiss me hard on da lips?

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Dat was tender but tasty.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49- Bite my face.- OK.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51- Aaaagh...- Bite my leg.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55Now bite my other leg.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03Ooh, I'm sorry.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07Oh, my! THAT kind of evening, huh?

0:17:10 > 0:17:14Not the kind you're used to. No money changed hands.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19A-ka!

0:17:19 > 0:17:22A-ka-wa-na-ka!

0:17:22 > 0:17:25A-ka-wa-na-ka... No, no, no, no.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28Believe, believe! You have killed your father.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31You have married your mother. Now, no words.

0:17:31 > 0:17:35Remember - now, reveal.

0:17:37 > 0:17:42A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a....woo-HO-O-O-O-O!

0:17:44 > 0:17:47Here we have a sick sea lion. Go.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51- Miss Brozinsky.- OK.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55You will now perform for us, also without words,

0:17:55 > 0:17:58Hamlet's soliloquy.

0:18:00 > 0:18:01Who's that?

0:18:01 > 0:18:04Hamlet...

0:18:04 > 0:18:07Hamlet.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12Shakespeare's tragedy of Hamlet!

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Ah. Well...

0:18:18 > 0:18:20For her we get the comic book, huh?

0:18:30 > 0:18:33SHE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Hey!

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Oh, that creep Korzenowski's driving me nuts!

0:18:48 > 0:18:49Ooh...

0:18:49 > 0:18:52I know what I need!

0:19:01 > 0:19:04GRUNTING

0:19:04 > 0:19:07Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God...

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Oh, God... Oh, God...

0:19:10 > 0:19:13Oh, Go-o-o-o-o-d!

0:19:21 > 0:19:24To die on the stage...

0:19:26 > 0:19:31..is perhaps the greatest single challenge an actor can face.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37The audience must know,

0:19:37 > 0:19:39must absolutely believe,

0:19:39 > 0:19:44that the breath, that the very LIFE is going out of your body.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Now...

0:19:46 > 0:19:47YOU!

0:19:47 > 0:19:50You will die now, please.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54No, no...I don't believe you.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58Ah. Ah, maintain your focus.

0:19:58 > 0:20:02- I don't believe you. Maintain your focus.- Stop! Stop! Stop!

0:20:02 > 0:20:04Stop it! Stop it!

0:20:07 > 0:20:09Are you all right?

0:20:09 > 0:20:11GASPING: Fine...

0:20:14 > 0:20:18Perhaps you would like to die for us now, Miss Ames?

0:20:18 > 0:20:23You...I think I will shoot.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28You will feel the bullet enter your body.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31You will lose all muscle control.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33You will fall down...

0:20:33 > 0:20:36dead. Bang.

0:20:51 > 0:20:57This can only be the achievement of years of training.

0:20:59 > 0:21:05No other way would we ever see so false a performance,

0:21:05 > 0:21:09so mechanical, so thought out,

0:21:09 > 0:21:12never for one moment truly felt.

0:21:13 > 0:21:18Here you must reach deep inside yourself.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22You must go beyond the safety of what you know.

0:21:22 > 0:21:27We know you can act, but can you be a person of flesh and blood?

0:21:27 > 0:21:31CLOCK CHIMES Ah! Time.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33We die again tomorrow.

0:21:33 > 0:21:38And, um, please, give me your notebooks, I wish to see them.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44- BEEPING HORNS - Hey, you can't park there!

0:21:45 > 0:21:47You want the delivery or not?

0:21:47 > 0:21:50The man is a Nazi.

0:21:52 > 0:21:56I have never been the dumbest in any class before.

0:21:57 > 0:21:59I haven't seen you for nine hours.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Taxi!

0:22:07 > 0:22:10Taxi!

0:22:10 > 0:22:11Mmm.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14- You know what today is?- No.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16It's our third week anniversary.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19- Stop on the next corner.- You got it.

0:22:19 > 0:22:25- I think you need some roses.- Oh, no, no, you can't afford any more flowers.- Right here.- No, don't stop.

0:22:25 > 0:22:29No, don't stop. ..I know what teachers make. ..Don't stop.

0:22:43 > 0:22:45SHE SCREAMS

0:22:48 > 0:22:51A crowd has gathered here, traffic is backed up for two blocks,

0:22:51 > 0:22:55'Killed in the explosion - the owner of the flower shop,

0:22:55 > 0:22:59'and Michael Sanders, a teacher at Holmes Elementary School.' GLASSES SMASH

0:22:59 > 0:23:02'Two terrorists groups have claimed responsibility for the blast.'

0:23:02 > 0:23:07It's all right, Miss Ames, we've got a positive ID from his wallet.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10You don't have to see him.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12I want to see him.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23I warn you, there's very little left to see,

0:23:23 > 0:23:27particularly in the upper body region.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31I want to see him.

0:23:31 > 0:23:38- I'm very sorry you feel the need to do this.- Just leave me alone with him, please.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48CRYING

0:23:55 > 0:23:58What are you doing here?

0:23:58 > 0:24:04- Me? What the fuck are you doing here?- I beg your pardon, I am in mourning...- Well, so am I!

0:24:04 > 0:24:06- ..for my lover!- Well, so am I!

0:24:10 > 0:24:12- Who?- Michael Sanders.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14- LAUREN SCREAMS - No!

0:24:14 > 0:24:19- No, you little witch, no! - You bitch!- He loved me!

0:24:19 > 0:24:22THEY CONTINUE SHOUTING

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Agh!

0:24:25 > 0:24:28You! I'm going to break every bone in your body!

0:24:28 > 0:24:30- Oh, you are?- I am!

0:24:32 > 0:24:35How dare you? How dare you?

0:24:37 > 0:24:39SHOUTING CONTINUES

0:24:39 > 0:24:42- He loved me!- Oh, loved you!

0:24:42 > 0:24:46- Loved YOU!- You're damn right he did. - Oh, that's obscene!

0:24:46 > 0:24:50That's reality, baby, because no way that guy gave a shit about you!

0:24:50 > 0:24:55I refuse to believe for one second that he would lower himself!

0:24:55 > 0:24:58Oh, he lowered himself, all right!

0:24:58 > 0:25:02This is all a lie! You are psychotic!

0:25:02 > 0:25:07Yes, that's right - I've known from the first time I saw you sleaze into that office.

0:25:07 > 0:25:11You lied to that phone man, you lied your way into the class, and you're lying now!

0:25:11 > 0:25:14THEY CONTINUE SHOUTING AND SCREAMING

0:25:17 > 0:25:19SCREAMING

0:25:39 > 0:25:41Well, what the hell...?

0:25:41 > 0:25:44- That's not his... - No way, look at that.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47- It's too small. - It's a fucking pencil!

0:25:47 > 0:25:51- Where's the appendix scar? - And that little mole?

0:25:51 > 0:25:55THE SHOUT AND SCREAM IN DELIGHT BOTH: He's alive!

0:26:00 > 0:26:04- Wait a minute, wait a minute, this was my idea.- I don't care!

0:26:04 > 0:26:09You don't know how to handle this. You can't just walk in and announce this kind of thing.

0:26:09 > 0:26:13Thing? What are you talking about? You can't even say it! You can't tell them!

0:26:13 > 0:26:17Just what do you think the responseis going to be when you do?

0:26:20 > 0:26:22You suggest...

0:26:22 > 0:26:24You suggest...

0:26:28 > 0:26:33You suggest that on the basis of this little nugget of testimony,

0:26:33 > 0:26:36we spend tax dollars on an investigation?!

0:26:37 > 0:26:40Have you been listening to us?

0:26:40 > 0:26:44The man in the morgue could not possibly be Michael Sanders!

0:26:44 > 0:26:46All you have to do is look at his...

0:26:47 > 0:26:49If you were to look...

0:26:49 > 0:26:51in the region...

0:26:52 > 0:26:55If you were to look...down.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57HE STIFLES A LAUGH

0:26:57 > 0:27:02Michael was not a guy other guys would have made fun of in the locker room.

0:27:02 > 0:27:06- I think he's got the big picture now.- I don't think he does.

0:27:07 > 0:27:12This guy in the morgue, whoever he is, he's got, um...

0:27:14 > 0:27:19Does the phrase "needle dick, the bug fucker" mean anything to you?

0:27:21 > 0:27:24- I beg your pardon!- Now, get out of here! Don't come back!

0:27:25 > 0:27:28The model of tact and decorum(!)

0:27:28 > 0:27:33- Who gives a shit? He wasn't going to help us? - Of course not - you sounded insane!

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Oh, it is insane.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37If he's alive, where is he?

0:27:37 > 0:27:44- He's probably back at my house, wondering where the hell I am! ..Taxi!- Your house?!- Taxi!

0:27:44 > 0:27:48- Wait a minute!- Taxi! - Wait just a minute here!- Taxi!

0:27:48 > 0:27:54- I don't believe for one minute he's at your apartment.- Oh, boy, are you gonna shit cement?

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Taxi! Taxi!

0:27:56 > 0:28:01If Michael is anywhere, I assure you he is at my place.

0:28:01 > 0:28:04- Taxi! Taxi!- Oh! You believe that?

0:28:04 > 0:28:06I believe that he loved me...

0:28:06 > 0:28:10that he barely knew you and you're fantasising a relationship

0:28:10 > 0:28:17- that's probably an isolated, drunken encounter.- Isolated? Hey, this girl does not have one night stands!

0:28:17 > 0:28:22Every guy I have ever slept with - and we are way into double digits - has come back for more.

0:28:22 > 0:28:24Every single one.

0:28:24 > 0:28:29- You want to hit me, right?- Oh! - OK, give it a try, give it a try, let's go!

0:28:29 > 0:28:32- LAUREN LAUGHS - Bob and weave, honey. Bob and weave.

0:28:32 > 0:28:35Who dresses you anyway?

0:28:37 > 0:28:41Stand still, you little bitch, I'm going to bash your brains out!

0:28:43 > 0:28:45THEY CONTINUE SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER

0:28:45 > 0:28:50- Talk about dingbats? - They'll lead us right to him.

0:28:52 > 0:28:54Nine years of ballet!

0:28:54 > 0:28:56You're too weird to hit!

0:28:56 > 0:28:58- Taxi!- Taxi!- Taxi!- Taxi!

0:28:58 > 0:29:01Taxi! ..Wait! Just a minute!

0:29:01 > 0:29:08All right, OK, you insist Michael is at your apartment, I think he's at mine, so we'll go to both.

0:29:08 > 0:29:12If he's at your place, which I doubt, I will tell him goodbye.

0:29:12 > 0:29:17If on the other hand, he's at mine, you will find a nice biker and compare tattoos.

0:29:24 > 0:29:25Oh!

0:29:25 > 0:29:27Oh!

0:29:27 > 0:29:30You see, he's here.

0:29:30 > 0:29:33Now, don't make a scene, try to be adult about this.

0:29:37 > 0:29:39MAN SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN

0:29:39 > 0:29:41Oh, my God!

0:29:41 > 0:29:43Relax, it's just thieves.

0:29:43 > 0:29:44Oh!

0:29:44 > 0:29:47Russian thieves?

0:29:47 > 0:29:48< Ah!

0:29:48 > 0:29:50He was here!

0:29:52 > 0:29:55They're looking for Michael!

0:29:55 > 0:29:57- Let me see!- AH!

0:30:05 > 0:30:07ALARM SOUNDS

0:30:08 > 0:30:09Hi, Mrs Potter.

0:30:10 > 0:30:14- GUNFIRE - Who are these morons?- I don't know!

0:30:14 > 0:30:15Stop! Come back!

0:30:17 > 0:30:19SQUAWKING

0:30:20 > 0:30:21Oh, my...

0:30:21 > 0:30:24How'd you get out? Come on!

0:30:26 > 0:30:28LAUREN SQUAWKS

0:30:29 > 0:30:30DOOR BANGS

0:30:55 > 0:30:59- Oh, my God! - THEY DEBATE WHAT TO DO IN A PANIC

0:31:32 > 0:31:35These girls are bimbos - they know nothing.

0:31:35 > 0:31:38- What do we want them for? - They know he survived.

0:31:38 > 0:31:45They may know where he is. We're gonna cover every airport, every bus depot, every train station!

0:31:52 > 0:31:54- Oh, my God!- God!

0:32:02 > 0:32:06Well, so much for your apartment! You want to try mine?

0:32:11 > 0:32:14- Oh!- They've been here!

0:32:14 > 0:32:18- Oh, my God!- Wait a minute, nobody's been here. This is normal.

0:32:18 > 0:32:21- Come on! Jeez!- Oh, no!

0:32:21 > 0:32:24- Michael! - SANDY WHISTLES

0:32:24 > 0:32:26Michael! Michael!

0:32:27 > 0:32:28Michael!

0:32:29 > 0:32:32- He's not here. - I'm going to find him.

0:32:32 > 0:32:34- Oh, yeah?- Yeah.- Where?

0:32:34 > 0:32:39Well, he could be hiding, he could be hurt, I don't know, but I know that he needs me.

0:32:39 > 0:32:43- If you'll excuse me...- Where are you gonna look? His apartment?

0:32:43 > 0:32:49- You think he'll be there if someone wants to kill him?- Oh, well, I'm not going to his apartment.

0:32:49 > 0:32:52Then where are you going?

0:32:52 > 0:32:55Isn't that my business?

0:32:55 > 0:32:57OK, look, hold it, OK?

0:32:57 > 0:33:00You have an idea, you might as well tell me.

0:33:00 > 0:33:03We'll both go and find him and we'll help him out of this,

0:33:03 > 0:33:05and then we'll make him choose.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07- Choose?- Yeah.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10- Between us?- Yeah.

0:33:11 > 0:33:14- I doubt that he'll know your name. - Then we're on.

0:33:14 > 0:33:17You're so goddamn sure it's gonna be you - what do you care?

0:33:18 > 0:33:20I'm confident, yes.

0:33:22 > 0:33:27- Well, so am I, so let's go. - Good.- Oh, wait, I gotta fluff.

0:33:31 > 0:33:33Could you fluff a little faster?

0:33:33 > 0:33:37- What is that?- I got it off a Christmas tree.

0:33:37 > 0:33:40You defiled a Christmas tree?

0:33:40 > 0:33:44- No-one saw. - What, nothing for the nose?

0:33:46 > 0:33:52Oh, Lady Di, explain this to me - the man's afraid for his life, he's not going to stop and buy tobacco.

0:33:52 > 0:33:56You obviously didn't spend the kind of time with Michael that I did.

0:33:57 > 0:34:01- He couldn't last the day without his Colton's.- I knew that.

0:34:01 > 0:34:05- Did you know this is the only place in town that carries them? - I didn't know that.- No, you didn't.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07Now, listen...

0:34:07 > 0:34:09this time let me handle this.

0:34:09 > 0:34:15- Your simplistic exchanges with people become pornographic.- That is a fucking lie.- Need I say more?

0:34:15 > 0:34:17Excuse me, sir.

0:34:17 > 0:34:20Yeah, I know the guy.

0:34:20 > 0:34:24- Have you seen him? Was he here today?- Yeah, maybe.

0:34:25 > 0:34:26Maybe not.

0:34:27 > 0:34:30When do you think you might arrive at a decision?

0:34:31 > 0:34:35Um...over a drink?

0:34:35 > 0:34:38Mm-hm. Wouldn't you feel better as a person

0:34:38 > 0:34:43just unselfishly helping somebody find out something she really needs to know?

0:34:44 > 0:34:47No. How about dinner?

0:34:48 > 0:34:50- How about a blowjob? - How about a...?

0:34:50 > 0:34:52What did you say?

0:34:52 > 0:34:55Right here, right now. Both of us.

0:34:55 > 0:35:00Kind of...taking turns. Sss!

0:35:01 > 0:35:06- He was in here this afternoon. - This afternoon. You sure it was this afternoon?

0:35:06 > 0:35:11- Yeah, right in my lunch break. 1 o'clock. He bought 10 pouches of Colton's.- What else?- Nothing.

0:35:11 > 0:35:14He was in a hurry. He used the phone, and then ran out.

0:35:14 > 0:35:16He used the phone at one. Is that it?

0:35:16 > 0:35:18That's all she wrote, baby.

0:35:21 > 0:35:23Here or in the back?

0:35:23 > 0:35:25I think I can take care of it from here.

0:35:28 > 0:35:30Couple of floozies!

0:35:30 > 0:35:31Oh, my God!

0:35:31 > 0:35:35- That is the most disgusting... - What's your problem now?

0:35:35 > 0:35:40Promising sexual favours?! That sends us back to the dark ages.

0:35:40 > 0:35:44- It's something you do not do!- You do if you're lying. Besides, it worked.

0:35:49 > 0:35:56- Excuse me, but I must have missed something. How did it work? We're at a dead end!- You'll see.- I'll see.

0:35:56 > 0:35:58- Howie Wrinkle, please?- Oh, Howie.

0:35:58 > 0:36:00How! Sand.

0:36:00 > 0:36:02Great, how about you?

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Yeah? How's your fish?

0:36:04 > 0:36:06Uhuh.

0:36:06 > 0:36:10- What'd the vet say?- What does a diseased fish...?- It's in the bag!

0:36:10 > 0:36:17Listen, cutie, seeing as how you're my main man at the phone company, I want to ask you a teensy favour, OK?

0:36:17 > 0:36:23Can you tell me what number was called out of Wally Frank's Tobacconist at 1 o'clock today?

0:36:23 > 0:36:26- Yeah, yeah, I'll hold.- This is good.

0:36:26 > 0:36:29It's probably one of those guys with polyester pants and hips.

0:36:29 > 0:36:31- Yeah, I'm here.- Uhuh.

0:36:32 > 0:36:34- Good boy.- All right!

0:36:36 > 0:36:38That's a cab company, right?

0:36:38 > 0:36:43Got it! Oh, you're a catch, How, our kids are going to be gorgeous.

0:36:43 > 0:36:46- Mwah! See you!- OK, don't gloat.

0:36:46 > 0:36:48Taxi!

0:36:59 > 0:37:01Is that all the money you walk around with?

0:37:01 > 0:37:07- Where's yours? I thought you were the working pornographic actress. - I went to the Bahamas.

0:37:09 > 0:37:11Hi.

0:37:11 > 0:37:17Can you help me? I'm such a ditz - I left my tennis racket in one of your cabs today.

0:37:17 > 0:37:22I was picked up around 77th and Broadway at 1 o'clock.

0:37:22 > 0:37:25- Is there a reward?- Yes.- No.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28- CRUNCH - Ooh! Ah!

0:37:28 > 0:37:31SMASHING

0:37:31 > 0:37:34- What the hell are you gonna teach me? What's wrong with you?- Yo!

0:37:34 > 0:37:37Dipstick! There's your man!

0:37:37 > 0:37:39What?

0:37:40 > 0:37:42Your turn.

0:37:42 > 0:37:45Oh, no.

0:37:45 > 0:37:49No, I can't talk to him - I went to a private school.

0:37:49 > 0:37:52He looks like a prince. He's gonna love you.

0:37:58 > 0:37:59Hi...

0:38:00 > 0:38:06..I'd like to ask you a few questions about a fare you might have had earlier in the day.

0:38:06 > 0:38:08A very attractive Cauca...

0:38:11 > 0:38:15Just "person" will do nicely. Why differentiate?

0:38:15 > 0:38:19You would have picked him up right outside a little smoke shop.

0:38:21 > 0:38:25Does that ring any bells of any kind whatsoever?

0:38:26 > 0:38:28Hello.

0:38:28 > 0:38:30- Tall dude?- Yes.

0:38:30 > 0:38:32- Tweed coat?- Yes, yes.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34A tweed coat, right.

0:38:34 > 0:38:36I don't remember a thing.

0:38:36 > 0:38:40- No, no, you just said a tall dude... - I didn't say nothing.

0:38:40 > 0:38:43Oh, come on now, don't give me a big song and dance.

0:38:43 > 0:38:46Oh, no!

0:38:48 > 0:38:50SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

0:38:51 > 0:38:53Yeah. ..Oh, my God.

0:38:53 > 0:38:58- He's going to hurt us.- What the hell's the matter with you? Why should he help us?

0:38:58 > 0:39:02All right, you tell me, what should I do?

0:39:02 > 0:39:05You're an actress - bullshit him!

0:39:05 > 0:39:10I don't use my training to tell lies to people.

0:39:10 > 0:39:12What do you use it for?

0:39:12 > 0:39:14Jeez, it's so simple.

0:39:16 > 0:39:19Hey, how'd you like to make a quick 200 bucks?

0:39:19 > 0:39:25- Say what?- 200 bucks. Cash. To take us to where you took the guy.

0:39:30 > 0:39:32Are you out of your mind?

0:39:32 > 0:39:36- We don't have 200. - Oh, chill out, would you?

0:39:38 > 0:39:45Where are we? We've been going for miles and I haven't seen a single white person on the streets.

0:39:45 > 0:39:48There's one. Oops, they got him.

0:39:48 > 0:39:50That's not funny.

0:40:01 > 0:40:04- Oh, my God!- Are you sure this is it?

0:40:06 > 0:40:09Hey, keep your pants on, we're coming right out, OK?

0:40:11 > 0:40:17Look, you know and I know I'm never going to get another cab to come out here to Vietnam, Cueball,

0:40:17 > 0:40:20so get real, all right?

0:40:20 > 0:40:26- All right, I'll give you 300 bucks. 300 bucks just to sit here till we get back.- 300?

0:40:27 > 0:40:29You're a real pain in the ass, do you know that?

0:40:29 > 0:40:31I'll break his neck...

0:40:31 > 0:40:37- Beyond belief! You're determined to have us killed, aren't you? - He's not going to kill us!

0:40:37 > 0:40:41- Why not?- Because we'll be raped and murdered in this building.- Oh!

0:40:44 > 0:40:45Oh! Oh!

0:40:45 > 0:40:48Oh, no!

0:40:48 > 0:40:49Oh!

0:40:49 > 0:40:53- Is that urine on the floor? - It's a little urine.

0:40:53 > 0:40:55- Freeze!- Agh!

0:40:55 > 0:40:57Oh, my God, he's just a child!

0:40:57 > 0:41:00- At least rape's out.- Let me do this.

0:41:00 > 0:41:04- Do you really think you should be playing with...?- Shut up!

0:41:04 > 0:41:08- Where's your money? Credit cards? - Revoked. Where do you think?

0:41:08 > 0:41:11Your bags - throw them over here.

0:41:11 > 0:41:13Oh, I love this bag.

0:41:15 > 0:41:18BANG! SCREAMING

0:41:22 > 0:41:24- I'm not hit!- Oh...

0:41:24 > 0:41:26You little...

0:41:26 > 0:41:28You little thug!

0:41:28 > 0:41:31- I'll be damned.- What?- It's a fake!

0:41:31 > 0:41:33- Where'd you get this?- Santa.

0:41:33 > 0:41:38Oh, yeah? Well, if you want to see another Christmas, you'll have to help us find someone.

0:41:44 > 0:41:46Shh!

0:42:03 > 0:42:05Come on, man. Fuck this.

0:42:05 > 0:42:08- This was a mistake.- Not any more!

0:42:09 > 0:42:11Police! You're under arrest!

0:42:13 > 0:42:14Don't even think about it.

0:42:14 > 0:42:17Don't even fuckin' think about it or I'll blow your fuckin' nuts off.

0:42:17 > 0:42:20Do we understand each other?

0:42:20 > 0:42:22OK, turn around.

0:42:22 > 0:42:24Face the wall.

0:42:24 > 0:42:25Do it.

0:42:25 > 0:42:28DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!

0:42:28 > 0:42:30OK, frisk 'em.

0:42:30 > 0:42:32SHE MOUTHS

0:42:35 > 0:42:38Damn. Busted by two broads.

0:42:38 > 0:42:41Nice buns, boys. You been working out?

0:42:48 > 0:42:50Read 'em their rights.

0:42:51 > 0:42:54You have...

0:42:54 > 0:42:56the right to remain silent.

0:42:58 > 0:43:01But anything you say...can...

0:43:01 > 0:43:03and will be used against you.

0:43:03 > 0:43:04You, um...

0:43:04 > 0:43:06SHE MOUTHS

0:43:07 > 0:43:08SHE MOUTHS

0:43:08 > 0:43:11Attorney. You have, um, you have the right

0:43:11 > 0:43:12to an attorney...

0:43:14 > 0:43:15(Shit!)

0:43:15 > 0:43:17Yeah, yeah, I heard it, I heard it.

0:43:17 > 0:43:19Hey, look, what d'ya want? You got it. Just talk to me.

0:43:19 > 0:43:22He's right, we could make you a sweet deal, baby.

0:43:22 > 0:43:24Yeah, yeah, yeah, we heard it.

0:43:24 > 0:43:27Wait a minute, maybe they can help us find Sanders.

0:43:27 > 0:43:29THEY don't know Sanders!

0:43:29 > 0:43:32Michael Sanders? The hell you say. He was just here.

0:43:32 > 0:43:34He was just here a few hours ago.

0:43:34 > 0:43:35Reg fixed him up with a passport.

0:43:35 > 0:43:38- Fuck you, Gilroy!- What the fuck you want me to say?

0:43:38 > 0:43:42Oh, in the phoney ID business as well, ain't that nice?

0:43:42 > 0:43:43What name was the passport under?

0:43:43 > 0:43:45I wanna talk to a lawyer.

0:43:45 > 0:43:48Oh, yeah? It's gonna be kind of a short conversation.

0:43:48 > 0:43:51They'll have to squeegee your brains off the wall.

0:43:51 > 0:43:54Yeah, you, um...

0:43:54 > 0:43:56you better tell her the name, she's kinda cranky.

0:43:56 > 0:43:58Yeah, I got my period.

0:44:00 > 0:44:03- John Strauss.- John Strauss. Where'd he go?

0:44:03 > 0:44:06Hey, look, he's leaving town, that's all I know.

0:44:06 > 0:44:08Look, I'm being real nice here, eh?

0:44:08 > 0:44:13Why don't you be nice and, um, open that box on the table? Go on.

0:44:20 > 0:44:23- Hey, look. Why don't you just keep it?- You givin' them the money?!

0:44:23 > 0:44:25- Forget that we ever met. - Are you sick?!

0:44:25 > 0:44:28- Turn around!- Yeah...

0:44:28 > 0:44:30happy to.

0:44:32 > 0:44:35Well, I hate to give it to you, but that was pretty good!

0:44:35 > 0:44:36Yeah, it was, it was!

0:44:41 > 0:44:43Yeah, yeah.

0:44:43 > 0:44:46Well...a deal's a deal.

0:44:46 > 0:44:50And now, my man...we wanna go to the airport.

0:44:53 > 0:44:55The airport.

0:44:57 > 0:44:59They don't give out passenger lists.

0:44:59 > 0:45:01You have to be police or FBI.

0:45:01 > 0:45:02You are such a dip.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05THIS is all the FBI we need.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07His luggage was totally over the weight limit.

0:45:07 > 0:45:11- Can you imagine the gall, trying to bribe an airline official?- No!

0:45:11 > 0:45:16- He offered me 100 to let it go through.- What a world, I tell you.

0:45:18 > 0:45:22Watch...and learn.

0:45:23 > 0:45:25- IN FOREIGN ACCENT: - Excuse, please.

0:45:25 > 0:45:28I was hoping you would to help me.

0:45:28 > 0:45:29Um...

0:45:31 > 0:45:33How, how do I to say?

0:45:33 > 0:45:35Say it quickly, I'm off in three minutes.

0:45:37 > 0:45:41My father is coming here... No, I tell you from the beginning.

0:45:41 > 0:45:45My name is Anna. This is my sister Elona.

0:45:45 > 0:45:48My half-sister. She does not speak English.

0:45:48 > 0:45:53My father, we have not seen him since we was babies, in Prague.

0:45:53 > 0:45:58He send us here...in suitcase on train. We are escape, you see?

0:45:59 > 0:46:02No, I'm afraid I don't.

0:46:02 > 0:46:06Now, we get letter. He escape!

0:46:07 > 0:46:09He is here!

0:46:09 > 0:46:13But we do not know where, we do not know which plane,

0:46:13 > 0:46:16could be any plane, please, you tell us which plane.

0:46:16 > 0:46:19- Please...- Absolutely not, I'm sorry.

0:46:23 > 0:46:25THEY SPEAK TO EACH OTHER IN "FOREIGN" LANGUAGE

0:46:28 > 0:46:32- Nein papa! No papa.- Papa?- Papa!

0:46:32 > 0:46:34THEY SOB

0:46:38 > 0:46:40Papa!

0:46:40 > 0:46:46That was the single biggest crock I have ever had the privilege to hear

0:46:46 > 0:46:49in my 19 years with this airline.

0:46:50 > 0:46:52I think that deserves something.

0:46:54 > 0:46:57- What was the name?- Hee-hee!

0:46:57 > 0:46:58Strauss. John Strauss.

0:46:58 > 0:47:01John Strauss.

0:47:04 > 0:47:06- Here we go.- Uh-huh.

0:47:06 > 0:47:09Flight 501 to Albuquerque...

0:47:09 > 0:47:12- Looks like you just missed him. - Oh no!

0:47:12 > 0:47:13Wait a minute, wait a minute...

0:47:13 > 0:47:17He took another line through St Louis and it's delayed.

0:47:18 > 0:47:23- If I can put you on our flight 225 through Kansas City you can beat him. - Ah!- Ah!

0:47:23 > 0:47:28- It's leaving in one minute.- You get the tickets, I'll hold the plane. - Good, good.

0:47:28 > 0:47:30Two tickets to Albuquerque, please.

0:47:34 > 0:47:36Oh, thank you!

0:47:55 > 0:47:57Hey, what's the hurry?

0:48:01 > 0:48:03Officer, those men are bad!

0:48:03 > 0:48:05Hold it right there!

0:48:05 > 0:48:07SECURITY GATE BLEEPS

0:48:15 > 0:48:17I swear, she'll be here any second.

0:48:17 > 0:48:20Her IV got caught in the luggage rack.

0:48:20 > 0:48:22Sandy, where are you?

0:48:22 > 0:48:25She's a sick woman, she's got to get on this plane!

0:48:25 > 0:48:27There's a kidney in Kansas City that's not gettin' any fresher!

0:48:27 > 0:48:32- Sandy!- Ah!- Please, Sandy.

0:48:34 > 0:48:35Hold it there!

0:48:35 > 0:48:37Anyone care for some money?

0:48:37 > 0:48:39ALL: Money! Money!

0:48:39 > 0:48:41SCREAMING AND SHOUTING

0:48:43 > 0:48:45Oh my God!

0:48:53 > 0:48:54Albuquerque!

0:49:02 > 0:49:03I gotta get on that plane!

0:49:43 > 0:49:48- You want to apprehend?- 'No! They'll pick up surveillance.'

0:49:49 > 0:49:51MAN CHATTERS INCESSANTLY

0:49:52 > 0:49:55Oh my God! There they are!

0:50:03 > 0:50:06Hey, hey, hey! Hey, where you gals runnin' off to?

0:50:09 > 0:50:12- Hey!- Bobby, this way!

0:50:18 > 0:50:19Ow!

0:50:23 > 0:50:26Oh! Oh! Oh!

0:50:29 > 0:50:31Oh!

0:50:34 > 0:50:35Oh!

0:50:39 > 0:50:42Hey, bud! Hey, what d'you think you're...?

0:50:49 > 0:50:52Aargh! Do something!

0:50:57 > 0:51:00- Ahh!- Ahh! Go!

0:51:05 > 0:51:06CROWD GASPS

0:51:06 > 0:51:08Oooh....

0:51:09 > 0:51:11And I thought coach was bad!

0:51:17 > 0:51:19Yow! Yow!

0:51:19 > 0:51:22Panansky! PANANSKY!

0:51:22 > 0:51:23Excuse me...

0:51:23 > 0:51:28- Sir, has flight 501 arrived?- Yes, ma'am, right there.- Uh-huh, yeah.

0:51:29 > 0:51:31- <- Panansky!

0:51:37 > 0:51:38Where's he going?

0:51:39 > 0:51:43No, no, ladies. You know better than this!

0:51:43 > 0:51:46You're right. You're right, of course. Thanks for your help.

0:51:46 > 0:51:48Panansky!

0:51:48 > 0:51:49Where the hell have you been?

0:51:53 > 0:51:56- Ah! Michael!- Michael!

0:51:57 > 0:51:59- Oh!- Wait! No, no, wait!

0:51:59 > 0:52:00No, no, no!

0:52:02 > 0:52:04Oh, yes, OK.

0:52:10 > 0:52:12MOTOR STARTS

0:52:13 > 0:52:15Hey, stop!

0:52:15 > 0:52:17Go through the light, go through the yellow!

0:52:19 > 0:52:21TYRES SCREECH, HORN BLARES

0:52:40 > 0:52:42- LAUREN:- You can take the bike back.

0:52:42 > 0:52:46Michael and I will be spending the night in that motel we passed.

0:52:46 > 0:52:50- SANDY:- Dream on! We'll be on a plane to Hawaii!

0:52:56 > 0:52:59- I can't believe it.- He's really in there.- Yeah.

0:53:01 > 0:53:05- What's the matter? You afraid? - Well, why should I be?

0:53:07 > 0:53:12- Then why don't you go rushing into his, into his arms, huh?- Well, why don't you?

0:53:14 > 0:53:16It's a long way to come to get bad news.

0:53:16 > 0:53:20Yeah. Well...

0:53:25 > 0:53:30- Tut! Oh God!- Oh, I know, let me see...- Oh no!

0:53:30 > 0:53:33- Argh, rat woman! - Oh, it's not that bad.

0:53:33 > 0:53:37- Oh no...- Can we share the mirror? - Oh, Christ!

0:53:37 > 0:53:40- What is it?- I would be getting a zit!

0:53:40 > 0:53:43I don't see anything. There's nothing there!

0:53:43 > 0:53:46- No?- No, you're worse than I am! At least you have eyelashes.

0:53:46 > 0:53:50Oh, what d'ya want? You're a natural blonde and you tan, you make me sick!

0:53:50 > 0:53:52Natural? Ha ha, you think this is natural?

0:53:52 > 0:53:56- "Oh my dear, you too can have this colour!"- No shit? It looks great!

0:53:56 > 0:53:58- Thanks, it's just a rinse with a toner.- Yeah?

0:53:58 > 0:54:01- You want a tic tac?- Yeah.- I...

0:54:09 > 0:54:12Well, I'd say good luck, but...

0:54:13 > 0:54:14Yeah.

0:54:16 > 0:54:18- Whatever.- Yeah, whatever.

0:54:27 > 0:54:29Hello!

0:54:31 > 0:54:32Michael, no!

0:54:34 > 0:54:35You!

0:54:37 > 0:54:38GUNSHOT Ah!

0:54:38 > 0:54:40THEY SCREAM, 2ND GUNSHOT Ah!

0:54:47 > 0:54:49- Michael!- Michael!

0:54:52 > 0:54:55- He's all right.- Oh! Let's get him out of here.

0:54:59 > 0:55:01HE GROANS

0:55:02 > 0:55:05- Michael?- Michael!- Oh!- Oh!

0:55:05 > 0:55:09- Oh!- You're OK, it's just a bump.

0:55:09 > 0:55:11- Yeah.- My God.

0:55:13 > 0:55:14BOTH: Michael!

0:55:14 > 0:55:17We are entitled to an explanation. What is your relationship with this woman?

0:55:17 > 0:55:20- Did you make it with her?- Do you even know this person?

0:55:20 > 0:55:21That's why you're here?

0:55:21 > 0:55:24- Well...- Yeah!- ..I know you're in some sort of trouble

0:55:24 > 0:55:26- but I'd like to discuss this first, please.- Right now.

0:55:26 > 0:55:29- Wait a minute...- Please...- Michael...

0:55:29 > 0:55:32Here, darling, let me help you up.

0:55:32 > 0:55:34- Ow!- Oh, easy!

0:55:34 > 0:55:37- You mean you did this on your own? - Yeah.- Yeah.

0:55:38 > 0:55:39There's nobody with you?

0:55:40 > 0:55:43- No...- He changed the subject, see how he did that?- Yes you did.

0:55:43 > 0:55:48Look here, Michael, there's an issue at stake and you're not going to get out of it. Whoa...

0:55:48 > 0:55:52- How did you follow me here?- I... Well, we...we knew you weren't dead in the morgue.

0:55:52 > 0:55:56- And you told them?- Of course we told them...- Shit!

0:55:56 > 0:55:57Bad idea, huh?

0:55:57 > 0:56:00Wait a minute. You mean you wanted to be dead?

0:56:00 > 0:56:04It would have been useful. HELICOPTER ENGINE WHIRS

0:56:06 > 0:56:10Russell, abort the rendezvous, there's a chopper out there and this could be trouble.

0:56:10 > 0:56:14- Get of here, I'll meet you in Tres Cruces.- 'Screw 'em, you've got the stuff.'

0:56:14 > 0:56:17We don't have the advantage. I'll meet you in Tres Cruces. Acknowledge.

0:56:17 > 0:56:20You're the boss. Over and out. Let's go.

0:56:26 > 0:56:28You're not a school teacher, are you, Michael?

0:56:28 > 0:56:31Michael, what's going on? What's in Tres Cruces?

0:56:32 > 0:56:33I'm sorry you heard that.

0:56:33 > 0:56:38- Who cares what I heard. What was I to you?- What was I?

0:56:38 > 0:56:39Convenient.

0:56:41 > 0:56:43Moderately enjoyable.

0:56:45 > 0:56:46And largely forgettable.

0:56:46 > 0:56:49And a lesson to me not to leave loose ends.

0:56:50 > 0:56:52THEY SCREAM

0:57:11 > 0:57:15I can't go on. I don't wanna go on.

0:57:15 > 0:57:18Oh, Mother told me about men like this.

0:57:18 > 0:57:20I hate it when she's right.

0:57:20 > 0:57:24Oh, loose ends! That's all I was to him.

0:57:24 > 0:57:28- Loose ends!- What are you doing worrying about your love life going to shit?

0:57:28 > 0:57:30We're gonna die!

0:57:30 > 0:57:32That's comforting!

0:57:38 > 0:57:39Who the hell are they?

0:57:39 > 0:57:42How am I supposed to know? He's after Michael.

0:57:44 > 0:57:45They're the good guys!

0:57:48 > 0:57:49THEY SHOUT OUT

0:57:49 > 0:57:52- <- Down here! Please help us! - Down here!

0:57:53 > 0:57:56Get into the light. He won't go for us if we're in the light.

0:57:58 > 0:58:01Keep moving!

0:58:05 > 0:58:06Come on, Sandy!

0:58:13 > 0:58:15HELICOPTER ENGINE DROWNS SPEECH

0:58:25 > 0:58:27He's going to cut us up!

0:58:27 > 0:58:30I'll get you! I'll get you!

0:58:44 > 0:58:45Come on!

0:58:47 > 0:58:52Looks like these ends are going to stay loose a little longer, you big shit head!

0:58:54 > 0:58:56Come on, down here!

0:59:08 > 0:59:09Hello!

0:59:10 > 0:59:14- Weldon?!- Hello! I guess you know Mr Atkins.

0:59:16 > 0:59:17Oh my God!

0:59:17 > 0:59:19No, it's all right!

0:59:20 > 0:59:22We're CIA!

0:59:23 > 0:59:25CIA?!

0:59:25 > 0:59:28Um, can I offer you ladies coffee or, um, a coke?

0:59:28 > 0:59:29BOTH: Weldon!

0:59:29 > 0:59:31What is going on?

0:59:33 > 0:59:36I'm not authorised to debrief you at...

0:59:36 > 0:59:38You're not authorised to debrief ME?

0:59:38 > 0:59:42After I saved you from being throttled? Weldon!

0:59:43 > 0:59:45HE SIGHS

0:59:45 > 0:59:46Who is Michael Sanders?

0:59:51 > 0:59:55He was one of our best. Very high clearance,

0:59:55 > 0:59:57access to everything, and then...

0:59:59 > 1:00:03..we began to suspect that he was a double agent, working for Korzenowski.

1:00:03 > 1:00:05Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1:00:05 > 1:00:07Korzenowski, our teacher?

1:00:07 > 1:00:09Our teacher and, I'm sorry to tell you,

1:00:09 > 1:00:13- a key undercover man for the Russians.- Oh please!

1:00:13 > 1:00:15The man has a reputation, he was the definitive Lear!

1:00:15 > 1:00:20He is the definitive KGB! That's why I was in that class, I was supposed to keep an eye on him,

1:00:20 > 1:00:23- see if he and Sanders were in contact.- Huh...

1:00:23 > 1:00:28- And they were?- We still don't know how. I never saw them come within a mile of each other.

1:00:28 > 1:00:30But somehow, Korzenowski hired him.

1:00:31 > 1:00:32What did Michael do?

1:00:34 > 1:00:37He stole the prototype of an experimental virus.

1:00:37 > 1:00:39It's called floritoxin.

1:00:39 > 1:00:43It's, um....an airborne defoliant.

1:00:43 > 1:00:48A few drops destroys all vegetation for hundreds and hundreds of square miles.

1:00:48 > 1:00:52L-Like grass and trees and the, the whole shop?

1:00:52 > 1:00:54As in California.

1:00:54 > 1:00:57- Oh my God!- As in the entire wheatbelt.

1:00:57 > 1:00:59He would do that?

1:00:59 > 1:01:02All he has to do is spill a couple of drops

1:01:02 > 1:01:04and the wind'll do the rest.

1:01:04 > 1:01:06MICHAEL: Don't try to bargain with me.

1:01:06 > 1:01:08I want 20 million cash.

1:01:08 > 1:01:11And please don't insult my intelligence by trying to mark it.

1:01:11 > 1:01:15All right. Only it's going to take a couple of hours.

1:01:15 > 1:01:17Where are you?

1:01:17 > 1:01:19LINE GOES DEAD

1:01:19 > 1:01:23Don't be ridiculous, Weldon, they're his accomplices, they're professionals!

1:01:23 > 1:01:25- No, sir! I believe them.- What?!

1:01:25 > 1:01:29You believe that a couple of two-bit actresses could crack down Sanders?

1:01:29 > 1:01:32It was a rendezvous, they helped him escape, I was there, remember?

1:01:32 > 1:01:36What did we know? He was just some guy we happened to be boffing.

1:01:36 > 1:01:39Damn it! I don't boff! I have never boffed.

1:01:39 > 1:01:43OK, had sex with. Is that white enough for you?

1:01:43 > 1:01:45Move it.

1:01:45 > 1:01:49- Sir, if you'll just go over their statements...- That's what I intend to do at Fort Morgan

1:01:49 > 1:01:52in an underground cell until we get Sanders' whereabouts.

1:01:52 > 1:01:56Want to know his whereabouts? Fine. He said he was going to Tres Cruces, New Mexico.

1:01:56 > 1:02:00That's a little bit too easy, isn't it? Get in the van!

1:02:00 > 1:02:02OK. OK, here's an idea -

1:02:02 > 1:02:05why don't we all go to Tres Cruces and see if Michael is there?

1:02:05 > 1:02:06I'll prove it to you.

1:02:06 > 1:02:11- Ow!- I know, I know, your head hurts and it's our fault, I understand that,

1:02:11 > 1:02:14- but if you'd identified yourself... - You want me to walk up to enemy operatives

1:02:14 > 1:02:17- and hand over my card? - Who's an enemy operative?

1:02:17 > 1:02:19Steve, why the hell are we slowing down?

1:02:23 > 1:02:24Who the hell are you?

1:02:29 > 1:02:31Oh! Oh! Oh my God!

1:02:41 > 1:02:45Some of us who teach can also do.

1:02:46 > 1:02:50- What do you want? - Where is Michael Sanders?

1:02:50 > 1:02:54Hey, you should know, you're the ones he's working for.

1:02:54 > 1:02:58- Vasili...- Da? - HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

1:03:05 > 1:03:08This is the last time I will ask you.

1:03:08 > 1:03:10Where is Michael Sanders?

1:03:12 > 1:03:14Ah! Ah!

1:03:15 > 1:03:17LAUREN AND SANDY SCREAM

1:03:26 > 1:03:27Come on, come on, come on!

1:03:31 > 1:03:33I think you'll stay.

1:04:08 > 1:04:10I never died better, did I, Teach'?

1:04:10 > 1:04:12OK, let's go up, real easy.

1:04:12 > 1:04:15Uh-huh... At a boy.

1:04:15 > 1:04:19At a boy. Yeah, you're a good actor, but a lousy shot.

1:04:19 > 1:04:22Please... Look, we can make bargain.

1:04:22 > 1:04:24KGB is very generous.

1:04:24 > 1:04:29Oh, stop with the KGB! How dare you defraud the entire New York theatre community!

1:04:29 > 1:04:34- Lauren!- I've never... Hi! I've never heard such behaviour in my life. These people are artists. What?

1:04:34 > 1:04:36That's not the hot issue here.

1:04:36 > 1:04:40No, no... OK, here it comes, Stan.

1:04:40 > 1:04:43You're gonna tell us right now what was going on in that class...

1:04:43 > 1:04:47or...Sandy's gonna shoot you.

1:04:48 > 1:04:50I'll shoot it off, Stan!

1:04:52 > 1:04:56- We needed couriers.- How?- Yeah.

1:04:56 > 1:04:59Eh...your notebooks.

1:04:59 > 1:05:02I left microdot, for him, in yours,

1:05:02 > 1:05:04and he sent back reply in yours.

1:05:04 > 1:05:08Well, if he stole the toxin for you, why don't you have it?

1:05:08 > 1:05:11HE CURSES IN RUSSIAN

1:05:11 > 1:05:14- Ah! - SANDY LAUGHS

1:05:14 > 1:05:19- He screwed you, too!- Da. Da... He screwed me, too.

1:05:22 > 1:05:24Ladies, I admit I've made a big mistake,

1:05:24 > 1:05:29but if you just trust me, you can walk away from here right now with full Federal protection -

1:05:29 > 1:05:32complete clearance of all conspiracy charges.

1:05:32 > 1:05:36I will give you free acting lessons for the rest of your life.

1:05:37 > 1:05:41- We'll pay all the expenses you've incurred.- Oh, stop it!

1:05:41 > 1:05:43The both of you, you're so full of it!

1:05:43 > 1:05:47Come on, let's go. It stinks around here.

1:05:47 > 1:05:48Thanks for trying.

1:05:51 > 1:05:55- We'll find you!- Not if the coyotes find you first!

1:06:02 > 1:06:03Oh!

1:06:04 > 1:06:06Please!

1:06:06 > 1:06:08Please! Oh!

1:06:08 > 1:06:11Blood is on your hands, you putz!

1:06:12 > 1:06:15This is the worst day of my life.

1:06:15 > 1:06:18- Yeah. - SANDY SIGHS

1:06:18 > 1:06:21- We're a couple of chumps, you know? - Oh, we're worse than that!

1:06:21 > 1:06:24- OK, yeah.- I can't believe I didn't see it.

1:06:24 > 1:06:26I am so humiliated.

1:06:26 > 1:06:29- I know.- He hit on us for those notebooks.

1:06:29 > 1:06:32"Hit on"?! He got me to pick HIM up.

1:06:32 > 1:06:36Don't tell me! I attacked him in a Burger King.

1:06:38 > 1:06:41I worked all night on his fucking pumpkin costume!

1:06:42 > 1:06:44- For a mythical student, if you will. - No?!

1:06:44 > 1:06:46- Yes!- No?!

1:06:46 > 1:06:50Hey...I baked cookies for his entire class.

1:06:50 > 1:06:52- Oh, no!- Can you see me baking?!

1:06:52 > 1:06:56Icing... Icing these little happy faces on every one of them!

1:06:56 > 1:06:59Well, I paid 5,000 to study with the KGB.

1:06:59 > 1:07:05- The KGB! Oh, my God!- Oh, he trashed me much worse than he trashed you.

1:07:05 > 1:07:08- Oh!- Really...Hamlet! How am I gonna know Hamlet?

1:07:11 > 1:07:14You really should, if you're going to be an actress.

1:07:20 > 1:07:24Oh, pardon me, but, you know, we can't all of us study

1:07:24 > 1:07:27at the London school of Shakespearean weirdness, you know?

1:07:27 > 1:07:30Some of us had to schlep drinks for a living.

1:07:34 > 1:07:36I'm sorry, Sandy.

1:07:38 > 1:07:41Oh, God.

1:07:41 > 1:07:43SANDY SIGHS

1:07:43 > 1:07:46So, where do you want to go now?

1:07:47 > 1:07:50I don't know.

1:07:50 > 1:07:53They'll be after us.

1:07:53 > 1:07:57- But I was thinking... - Yeah...so was I.- What?

1:07:57 > 1:08:00That we go find Michael and rip his face off.

1:08:00 > 1:08:03- That...and get the toxin back. - ENGINE RUMBLES

1:08:03 > 1:08:08- Oh, to hell with the toxin, I just want to rip his face off. - No, we need the toxin.

1:08:08 > 1:08:11We don't want the CIA on our backs all our lives.

1:08:13 > 1:08:17- Just so long as I get to rip his face off? - I promise we'll rip his face off...

1:08:17 > 1:08:19- after we get the toxin.- Hey!

1:08:19 > 1:08:22Hello, honey! Hello!

1:08:22 > 1:08:23No, no!

1:08:33 > 1:08:36- Hey, Stan...- What?

1:08:36 > 1:08:39- It looks like you're going to be facing a KGB tribunal. - STAN GROANS

1:08:40 > 1:08:43Unless, of course, you'd like to make an arrangement.

1:08:44 > 1:08:47Would such an arrangement include...

1:08:47 > 1:08:50unlimited expense account?

1:08:51 > 1:08:53A condo on the Potomac?

1:08:55 > 1:08:58Redskins season tickets...eh?

1:09:00 > 1:09:03HORN BLARES

1:09:17 > 1:09:20- Aw, nice(!)- Thanks, Humphrey.

1:09:20 > 1:09:22- It was sweet of you. - It was my pleasure.

1:09:27 > 1:09:30What shall we do first? Get a little sushi, take in a show(?)

1:09:30 > 1:09:34MEN WHOOP

1:09:40 > 1:09:42THEY WHISTLE

1:09:42 > 1:09:44Now why would they do that?

1:09:44 > 1:09:47Has there ever been one woman in the history of the world,

1:09:47 > 1:09:50who actually said, "Yes, fellas, please, take me now"?

1:09:50 > 1:09:53For a bed and a bath, I'd... I'd consider it.

1:09:53 > 1:09:57- Bite your tongue. - Hey, turistas! Welcome.

1:09:57 > 1:09:59Hey...

1:09:59 > 1:10:02you're looking for a guide, right?

1:10:02 > 1:10:08A Native Indian, to show you the hidden wonders of this great Chicotakowa nation?

1:10:08 > 1:10:10Well, ladies, you have found him.

1:10:10 > 1:10:13Special price, today only...

1:10:14 > 1:10:18- ..20.- I don't want to be the first to break this to you.

1:10:18 > 1:10:22- You are not an Indian. - That's a technicality.

1:10:22 > 1:10:26I've been a blood brother to the Chicotakowa since 1968.

1:10:26 > 1:10:30I got a tan. What do you want for 20?!

1:10:31 > 1:10:35Honey, I'm an actress. I love to dress up and pretend -

1:10:35 > 1:10:40and the hat is fabulous! But what we need right now is to find a man.

1:10:40 > 1:10:42Well, OK.

1:10:42 > 1:10:45It's not gonna be that great. I'm a little bombed.

1:10:45 > 1:10:49- What?!- And it's still 20!

1:10:50 > 1:10:52No! No, no, no...

1:10:52 > 1:10:56- We're looking for a specific man. - So we can kill him.

1:10:56 > 1:10:58Oh, then you need a witness.

1:10:58 > 1:11:02Hey, I'll stand up for you in court - "I saw the whole thing.

1:11:02 > 1:11:04"It was an accident." The axe slipped from your hand.

1:11:04 > 1:11:08- It's a wonderful scenario. When we find the guy, we'll let you know. - Thanks.

1:11:08 > 1:11:12Find him? "Find" as in "locate"?

1:11:12 > 1:11:15"Track down"? Hey, now we are rollin'!

1:11:15 > 1:11:17We have hit the nail right on the hammer.

1:11:17 > 1:11:21I'm a tracker. That's my vocation - a tracker -

1:11:21 > 1:11:23a guy who tracks down other guys.

1:11:23 > 1:11:27That's my main gig. Genuine Indian shit!

1:11:28 > 1:11:32- (What do you think?- He's a bum! - But he might have good instincts.)

1:11:32 > 1:11:36- (Shall we ask for references?)- Hey, you want to find this guy or not?

1:11:40 > 1:11:44- Ah-ha! Ancient Indian techniques. - Ah, those could be anybody's!

1:11:44 > 1:11:46Yeah, they could.

1:11:46 > 1:11:50Anybody about 185lb...

1:11:50 > 1:11:55dragging his right leg a little, like it's injured. And...

1:11:57 > 1:12:01HE SNIFFS ..smoking one-hand-roll Colton's

1:12:01 > 1:12:03every three minutes.

1:12:04 > 1:12:08Admit it! The man is cool.

1:12:09 > 1:12:11- Yeah, come on!- I want you.

1:12:11 > 1:12:13I want you, too.

1:12:17 > 1:12:20FEMALE LAUGHTER

1:12:20 > 1:12:23Oh, my God!

1:12:23 > 1:12:28Wow! That is some major ill repute happening there.

1:12:28 > 1:12:30- Come on, let's go. - No! Don't try it.

1:12:30 > 1:12:34You'll never get past Gert. It's customers only.

1:12:34 > 1:12:36Come on, let's get out of here.

1:12:36 > 1:12:38Come on! Hey, let's go, will you?

1:12:38 > 1:12:41- Come on!- ("Customers".)

1:12:41 > 1:12:43"Customers"!

1:12:43 > 1:12:47- You get his shirt, I'll get his pants.- Ah, come on! You had your chance at me.

1:12:47 > 1:12:50- Come on now! Will you stop it? - Oh, I want the hat!

1:12:54 > 1:12:57LAUGHTER

1:12:57 > 1:12:59Who do you think you're kiddin', huh?

1:13:01 > 1:13:03How old are you, boys?

1:13:03 > 1:13:0713? 14?

1:13:07 > 1:13:09Hell, you're just babies.

1:13:09 > 1:13:12Why, you can't even shave yet.

1:13:12 > 1:13:17- Your daddy know you're here? - AS A BOY:- Hell, yes! He told us where to come.

1:13:17 > 1:13:19- "Come"! Get it? - SANDY SNIGGERS

1:13:19 > 1:13:21Ooooh!

1:13:21 > 1:13:24- First time?- Oh!

1:13:24 > 1:13:28No way! It's HIS first time.

1:13:28 > 1:13:31- What d'you tell her that for? - Are you chicken shit, huh? - I've done it plenty!

1:13:31 > 1:13:35- You always tell my secrets. I'm gonna get you.- Chicken shit!

1:13:35 > 1:13:37Don't do that! That ain't no way to act in a whorehouse.

1:13:37 > 1:13:40- Be a man! Be a man! - FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

1:13:43 > 1:13:47This is Tina and Maria. Have fun.

1:13:50 > 1:13:53Yeah, now tell me how we're gonna get it up(!)

1:14:02 > 1:14:05WOMAN MOANS, BED SQUEAKS

1:14:09 > 1:14:12- SHEEP BLEATS - Definitely not.

1:14:15 > 1:14:18Oo-oo-oh, God!

1:14:18 > 1:14:21Oh, God! Oh, God!

1:14:21 > 1:14:24- Oh, God...- He's already at "Oh, God! Oh, God!"

1:14:24 > 1:14:26- Won't be long now.- Oh, God! Oh, God!

1:14:26 > 1:14:29Oh, God! Ooooh, God! BED RATTLES

1:14:29 > 1:14:33Oh... GURGLING: Oh...God!

1:14:33 > 1:14:36- That was it. - He'll be asleep in three seconds.

1:14:36 > 1:14:39Did you ever think you'd be glad that men roll over and pass out?

1:14:55 > 1:14:57You've got...!

1:14:59 > 1:15:01Have a nice day.

1:15:03 > 1:15:05- I've come to a definite conclusion. - What's that?

1:15:05 > 1:15:10- You can have him! - HE SIGHS SLEEPILY

1:15:10 > 1:15:12God...

1:15:12 > 1:15:14Hm?

1:15:18 > 1:15:21Aw! HE MURMURS CONTENTEDLY

1:15:38 > 1:15:40BOX CLICKS SHUT

1:15:41 > 1:15:43Was it good for you, too?

1:15:55 > 1:15:57SANDY SCREAMS

1:15:57 > 1:16:00MEN WHOOP

1:16:01 > 1:16:04- Hey! Ay-ay-ay! - THEY SHOUT

1:16:14 > 1:16:16Help me up.

1:16:21 > 1:16:24Oh, you guys are the sweetest,

1:16:24 > 1:16:26most gorgeous creatures!

1:16:26 > 1:16:28- Mwah, mwah!- You're sweet.

1:16:28 > 1:16:30Yikes! Andale! Andale!

1:16:30 > 1:16:33Hey, vamos! Vamos!

1:16:41 > 1:16:43BLADE CLICKS SHUT

1:16:45 > 1:16:47ALL: # Ay, ay, ay, ay

1:16:47 > 1:16:50# Canta y no llores

1:16:50 > 1:16:53# Porque cantando... #

1:16:57 > 1:16:59- Hey, guys...- Wait a minute!- Guys!

1:16:59 > 1:17:02Wait a minute! We're not supposed to stop. Why are we stopping?

1:17:02 > 1:17:05- REPLY DROWNED BY CLATTER - Oh, we have to get to a phone.

1:17:05 > 1:17:07- We have to...- A phone.- Oh, my God!

1:17:07 > 1:17:09What are you doing here?

1:17:09 > 1:17:14Trying to get back to the reservation before one of these guys hits on me for my phone number.

1:17:14 > 1:17:16Oh, come on, you don't look so bad!

1:17:16 > 1:17:19Except prints don't work for him. He should stick with solids.

1:17:19 > 1:17:23- Wait a minute! Did he say... - BOTH: ..phone?!

1:17:23 > 1:17:25- Frank!- Leave me alone!- Frank!

1:17:25 > 1:17:28- You have to listen.- No, I don't. - Yes, you do!

1:17:28 > 1:17:30Ow, ow!

1:17:30 > 1:17:33Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Frank.

1:17:33 > 1:17:37- But this is really important.- Oh, leave me alone, just leave me alone!

1:17:37 > 1:17:39- We've got to use your phone. - Forget it!

1:17:39 > 1:17:42You stiffed me for 20, you leave me in drag,

1:17:42 > 1:17:45you've got some maniac with a knife chasing you.

1:17:45 > 1:17:49These things do not tempt me to want to team up with you guys.

1:17:49 > 1:17:52FRANK MOANS Ah, what's wrong with my head?

1:17:52 > 1:17:55- Are you OK?- No!

1:17:55 > 1:17:57- I think I'm gettin' sober!- Look... Listen...

1:17:57 > 1:18:00Frank, we're not just jerkin' you around.

1:18:00 > 1:18:04Some guys are chasing us cos one of them stole a virus that'll destroy all the plants

1:18:04 > 1:18:09and all the trees for thousands of miles. We stole it back, so now they're trying to kill us. Get it?

1:18:09 > 1:18:12Jesus, the '60s were good to you, weren't they(?)

1:18:13 > 1:18:16Frank, that's right, think back to the '60s.

1:18:16 > 1:18:20- People did things for each other. - They were wasted.

1:18:20 > 1:18:23Listen, Frankie...get us to a telephone, all right?

1:18:23 > 1:18:26I swear to you... you'll be showered with money.

1:18:26 > 1:18:28Showered with money.

1:18:32 > 1:18:35OK, ladies, this is it.

1:18:35 > 1:18:37This is it, Frank?!

1:18:37 > 1:18:40It's not exactly the hub of the reservation, is it?

1:18:40 > 1:18:43- Hey, it's off-season! What do you want?- We want to use the phone.

1:18:43 > 1:18:46Hey, five minutes, that's it.

1:18:46 > 1:18:51You guys stay more than five minutes, you'll bring down a goddamn tornado.

1:18:51 > 1:18:55- We've no intention of staying. - Fine.- I'll call... I must have that blouse!

1:18:55 > 1:18:58- That shirt has my name on it! - Oh, I love this!

1:18:59 > 1:19:03- I wore one of these when I did Oklahoma.- That will be cute on you. - You think?

1:19:03 > 1:19:08- Get a little snakeskin belt, give it a little texture.- That's a good idea. I like this, too.

1:19:08 > 1:19:11Hey! Will you come on now? Just take the blouse.

1:19:11 > 1:19:15Keep them. You've got to make this phone call. Get on the phone and let's get out of here.

1:19:15 > 1:19:17OK, who are we gonna call?

1:19:17 > 1:19:18The New York Times, huh?

1:19:19 > 1:19:23- No! We'll call the President.- That's really a call he's gonna take(!)

1:19:23 > 1:19:27- "Hi, we're two struggling actresses, we're saving the world." Get real! - He was an actor!

1:19:29 > 1:19:31OK, the FBI.

1:19:33 > 1:19:37We're gonna call the FBI, we're gonna turn this in and save our country.

1:19:37 > 1:19:39Do you have a changing room?

1:19:41 > 1:19:42This doesn't work.

1:19:47 > 1:19:48They must have cut me off.

1:19:50 > 1:19:51I owe them a little money.

1:19:51 > 1:19:54Don't you know how to deal with those dorks?

1:19:54 > 1:19:56- You don't have to pay them anything.- You don't?

1:19:56 > 1:19:59- No, all...- No!- What?

1:19:59 > 1:20:01No, not that again.

1:20:05 > 1:20:08Frank, how do we get to a phone that works?

1:20:08 > 1:20:13OK, ladies. This here is Frodo. He'll take real good care of you.

1:20:13 > 1:20:16You're going to ride across those hills till you come to a cliff edge.

1:20:16 > 1:20:18Don't go off, it's a 700 foot drop.

1:20:18 > 1:20:22Now, if you do get down you're gonna come to the rattlesnake area.

1:20:22 > 1:20:24Be real careful going through there.

1:20:24 > 1:20:27Take a left at the rattlesnakes and you'll come to a dirt road,

1:20:27 > 1:20:30take you to the taco stand, they got a phone in there.

1:20:30 > 1:20:33It couldn't be just a block and a half at the corner store, Frank?

1:20:33 > 1:20:35Not around here.

1:20:36 > 1:20:40- Hey, Frank. Thanks.- OK, all right!

1:20:40 > 1:20:44- Come on...- We won't forget you. - We'll see you get something out of this.

1:20:44 > 1:20:47Sure, I'll be showered with money. Let's get outta here.

1:20:47 > 1:20:48Wait, wait, wait!

1:20:48 > 1:20:50I don't have the toxin. Wait a minute.

1:20:50 > 1:20:52Hold on a second.

1:20:55 > 1:20:58- Ah!- Give me the vial.

1:21:00 > 1:21:01Slowly.

1:21:05 > 1:21:07- Let go of me! - SHE SCREAMS

1:21:14 > 1:21:15Whoa!

1:21:15 > 1:21:17Asshole! Come on!

1:21:17 > 1:21:19Well, of course.

1:21:21 > 1:21:23Russell. Boyd.

1:21:24 > 1:21:26- Where's the other one?- She got away.

1:21:26 > 1:21:30- You'll make yourself useful. - I can't drive a stick-shift. - Get in the back.

1:21:35 > 1:21:37GUNFIRE

1:21:43 > 1:21:45Let's turn around, OK?

1:21:45 > 1:21:47Let's just go...this way.

1:21:52 > 1:21:53Holy shit!

1:22:00 > 1:22:01Go away.

1:22:02 > 1:22:03Frank.

1:22:03 > 1:22:05Go away.

1:22:05 > 1:22:07What happened? Where's Lauren?

1:22:07 > 1:22:09- They took her.- We gotta go find her.

1:22:09 > 1:22:11Oh, no.

1:22:11 > 1:22:14Frank, I can't track her without you. Now, please, come on.

1:22:14 > 1:22:17- You go, I'm busy bleeding!- Frank!

1:22:17 > 1:22:18You don't give up, do you?

1:22:18 > 1:22:22You think I'm gonna go chasing a pack of psychos for some dumb blonde?

1:22:22 > 1:22:25She not dumb. And she's not a blonde.

1:22:25 > 1:22:26Well, good luck, lady.

1:22:26 > 1:22:29Frank! Frank!

1:22:35 > 1:22:37OK, OK.

1:22:37 > 1:22:38The truth.

1:22:39 > 1:22:41Lauren and I pulled a bank job.

1:22:41 > 1:22:43Those guys were Feds and Lauren buried the money.

1:22:43 > 1:22:45Spare me, will you?

1:22:45 > 1:22:47Well, what about revenge?

1:22:47 > 1:22:50These guys trashed your house. Don't you want to get even?

1:22:50 > 1:22:52I'm insured, no deductible.

1:22:52 > 1:22:54Save your breath.

1:22:56 > 1:22:58I'm running out of bullshit, Frank.

1:22:58 > 1:22:59They're going to kill her.

1:22:59 > 1:23:02I know it's not your problem

1:23:02 > 1:23:06but this person and I, we've been through a lot of disgusting things together.

1:23:06 > 1:23:08This person and I are...

1:23:11 > 1:23:13This person's a friend.

1:23:15 > 1:23:17And I don't have that many friends.

1:23:23 > 1:23:24I do.

1:23:24 > 1:23:27WHOOPING AND YELPING

1:23:39 > 1:23:40Hello, Michael.

1:23:40 > 1:23:43- This is Atkins.- Hello, Joe. Do you have the money?

1:23:43 > 1:23:44Yeah.

1:23:44 > 1:23:46It's here.

1:23:46 > 1:23:48Fine. Here it is.

1:23:48 > 1:23:53You'll get into the chopper and fly to Masa Azul cliffs

1:23:53 > 1:23:55at the four fingers.

1:23:55 > 1:23:58Don't think about ground support cos I've got lookouts.

1:23:59 > 1:24:03Now, if I see a plane, a tank, a chopper other than your chopper,

1:24:03 > 1:24:09I'll get very nervous and I'm gonna dump this stuff in the first stiff wind blowing east.

1:24:09 > 1:24:10You got it?

1:24:12 > 1:24:14You will not land the chopper.

1:24:14 > 1:24:15You'll come level with the masa

1:24:15 > 1:24:20and you'll lower the money down to me at 5pm exactly.

1:24:34 > 1:24:36Now, you're gonna make the exchange.

1:24:36 > 1:24:39I knew you wouldn't keep your end of the bargain.

1:24:44 > 1:24:47This is your big moment. Don't you want to do it yourself?

1:24:47 > 1:24:49Atkins is a crack shot.

1:24:50 > 1:24:53Like I said, I'm doing the exchange.

1:24:55 > 1:24:57I see somebody.

1:24:57 > 1:25:00- It's Lauren.- Now, you want to tell me how much you believe them?

1:25:00 > 1:25:02No, don't shoot!

1:25:02 > 1:25:05Sir, she's being coerced.

1:25:43 > 1:25:44GUNFIRE

1:25:51 > 1:25:54- Will you land this damn thing?- He's trying!

1:26:10 > 1:26:12Throw down the bag.

1:26:13 > 1:26:14Throw it down!

1:26:14 > 1:26:16You'll shoot me.

1:26:16 > 1:26:19I'm really sorry about this. Ah! GUNFIRE

1:26:25 > 1:26:27WHOOPING AND YELPING

1:26:27 > 1:26:29GUNFIRE

1:26:32 > 1:26:34GUNFIRE

1:26:38 > 1:26:39- Argh!- Argh!

1:26:39 > 1:26:41Oh! Oh!

1:26:41 > 1:26:42Ah!

1:26:42 > 1:26:44Aren't you dead, yet?

1:26:44 > 1:26:46Not till I play Hamlet.

1:26:46 > 1:26:49THEY LAUGH

1:26:52 > 1:26:53Boy!

1:26:53 > 1:26:55- Aw, you came back.- Sure.

1:26:55 > 1:26:56I can't believe it.

1:26:56 > 1:26:59And look at you, you made off with the works.

1:26:59 > 1:27:03- Yes, I got the toxin and 20 million.- Wow!

1:27:04 > 1:27:06This time I... I think I'll hold the money.

1:27:06 > 1:27:08You don't mind?

1:27:08 > 1:27:09Look, there's Weldon!

1:27:09 > 1:27:12Maybe we can hitch a ride with those guys? Hey...

1:27:12 > 1:27:13Argh!

1:27:15 > 1:27:16Go! Go!

1:27:17 > 1:27:18Go where?

1:27:29 > 1:27:31Argh!

1:27:36 > 1:27:38I...will...never...

1:27:38 > 1:27:42date...a man...again.

1:27:50 > 1:27:51Sandy.

1:27:51 > 1:27:55- Getting laid just isn't worth it.- Oh, Sandy!

1:27:55 > 1:27:57Huh? Ah!

1:27:57 > 1:27:59Get it!

1:28:06 > 1:28:08Pull.

1:28:11 > 1:28:13Pull.

1:28:13 > 1:28:15Oh! There is no god.

1:28:22 > 1:28:24Hey, look! CHEERING

1:28:49 > 1:28:51Ah!

1:29:11 > 1:29:12Ah!

1:29:18 > 1:29:20You son of a bitch.

1:29:21 > 1:29:23En guard!

1:29:23 > 1:29:26- Yes!- Go!

1:29:39 > 1:29:40Ugh!

1:29:45 > 1:29:46Where is it?

1:29:46 > 1:29:48I don't have it!

1:29:48 > 1:29:49I have it.

1:29:49 > 1:29:51Let her go.

1:29:51 > 1:29:54- Argh!- No! You...

1:30:05 > 1:30:06Ah, nuts!

1:30:57 > 1:30:58Oh, shit!

1:31:26 > 1:31:29Argh!

1:31:29 > 1:31:32Nine years of ballet, asshole!

1:31:34 > 1:31:37Argh! You did it! You did it!

1:31:37 > 1:31:38Woo, woo, woo!

1:31:40 > 1:31:43APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

1:31:43 > 1:31:45Yeah, yeah, yeah!

1:31:57 > 1:32:00APPLAUSE

1:32:11 > 1:32:14That is the best Hamlet ever.

1:32:16 > 1:32:17Except for mine.

1:32:18 > 1:32:21Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!

1:32:21 > 1:32:23Wow. Yeah!

1:32:38 > 1:32:42Oh, this is the happiest moment of my life.

1:32:42 > 1:32:44They bought that shit!

1:32:44 > 1:32:48Shit?! You're calling my Hamlet shit?!

1:32:48 > 1:32:52He's a wimp. I mean, he can't make his mind up about anything.

1:32:52 > 1:32:55He stands around going, "What'll I do? What'll I do?"

1:32:55 > 1:32:59- Give me Romeo or Henry V - now there's a guy I could boff.- Boff?

1:32:59 > 1:33:04Oh, we're back to boffing, are we? I see. That's your criteria...

1:33:11 > 1:33:14Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:33:14 > 1:33:17E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk