The Ladykillers

0:00:05 > 0:00:10This film contains very strong language.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13# The earth

0:00:13 > 0:00:16# Is in a blaze

0:00:17 > 0:00:19# The world

0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Is in a maze

0:00:24 > 0:00:26# The way

0:00:28 > 0:00:31# Of life today

0:00:31 > 0:00:35# Is strange and odd

0:00:35 > 0:00:39# What happened

0:00:39 > 0:00:42# Across the sea

0:00:42 > 0:00:46# May come

0:00:46 > 0:00:50# To you and me

0:00:50 > 0:00:53# Oh, come

0:00:53 > 0:00:57# Let us go back

0:00:57 > 0:00:59# To God

0:00:59 > 0:01:03- # Go back to God - Oh, come on

0:01:03 > 0:01:05# Let's go back to God

0:01:05 > 0:01:09- # Let us go back - Let's go back to God

0:01:09 > 0:01:12- # Come on - Let us go back to God

0:01:12 > 0:01:16- # Let us go - Let's go back to God

0:01:16 > 0:01:19- # I know the way - Let's go back to God

0:01:19 > 0:01:22- # Without my Lord - Let's go back to God

0:01:22 > 0:01:26- # Is mighty hard - Let's go back to God

0:01:26 > 0:01:30- # Oh, yeah - Let's go back to God

0:01:30 > 0:01:33- # I know death has - Let's go back to God

0:01:33 > 0:01:35- # Brought to pass - Let's go back to God

0:01:35 > 0:01:40- # Yeah, death has marked - Let's go back to God

0:01:40 > 0:01:44- # The path we trod - Let's go back to God

0:01:44 > 0:01:47- # Come on, yeah - Let's go back to God

0:01:47 > 0:01:51- # Let us go back - Let's go back to God

0:01:51 > 0:01:56- # Go back to God - Let's go back to God. #

0:01:56 > 0:01:58LOUD SNORING

0:01:58 > 0:02:00RADAR BEEPS

0:02:24 > 0:02:26- DOOR SLAMS - Ah!

0:02:26 > 0:02:29Oh, afternoon, Mrs Munson.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Afternoon, Sheriff.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33You know the Funthes boy?

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Er, Mackatee Funthes?

0:02:36 > 0:02:38No, no, not him. Weemack.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Mackatee's eldest.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Yeah, I believe I do.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44- Well, he's a good boy... - Mmn-hmn.

0:02:44 > 0:02:47..but he done gone to the Costco in Pascagoula

0:02:47 > 0:02:49- and got hisself a blaster. - What?

0:02:49 > 0:02:51- And he been playing that music! - Well, if you want...

0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Loud! - Well, I could go talk to him.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57- "Left My Wallet In El Segundo!" - He left his...?

0:02:57 > 0:02:58Hippity-hop music!

0:02:58 > 0:03:00They calls it hippity-hop music,

0:03:00 > 0:03:03but it don't make me want to go hippity-hop!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Mmn-mmn! Mmn!

0:03:05 > 0:03:09And Othar don't like that music, neither.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11It's been disturbing Othar, has it?

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Well, how could it help but do?

0:03:14 > 0:03:17- "Left My Wallet in El Segundo." - He left his...

0:03:17 > 0:03:20And do you know what they call coloured folks in them songs?!

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Have you got any idea?

0:03:23 > 0:03:25- No, ma'am, I... - Niggers!

0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Ooh! - I don't even want to say the word.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Now, I won't say it twice, I can tell you that.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35- I'll say it one time...- Yes, ma'am. - ..in the course of my complaint. - Yes.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Niggers!- Mmn-hmn!

0:03:37 > 0:03:392,000 years after Jesus!

0:03:39 > 0:03:4230 years after Martin Luther King!

0:03:42 > 0:03:44- The age of Montel!- Mmn!

0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Sweet Lord of mercy, is that where we at?- Mmn.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Weemack down to Pascagoula

0:03:49 > 0:03:52and gettin' hisself a big ol' thumpety stereo

0:03:52 > 0:03:54so he can listen to that trash!

0:03:54 > 0:03:57- You got to help that boy. - You want me to help him?

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Extend that helping hand. Show an interest.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Well, we're here to help. - Well, God bless you for that.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05You don't want to be tried and found wantin'.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09- No, ma'am! - Many done tunkalow parzen, Sheriff.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12Many, many done tunkalow parzen.

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Many what, ma'am?

0:04:14 > 0:04:16You been tried and found wantin'!

0:04:16 > 0:04:20- You don't want that writing on the wall.- No, ma'am.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22- Feast of Balthazar. - Yeah, that sounds good!

0:04:22 > 0:04:25The Apostle John said,

0:04:25 > 0:04:29"Behold, there's a stranger in our midst come to destroy us."

0:04:29 > 0:04:31BOTH: Yes, ma'am!

0:04:31 > 0:04:33# Come

0:04:33 > 0:04:37# Let us go back

0:04:37 > 0:04:39# To God

0:04:39 > 0:04:43- # Go back to God - Oh, come on

0:04:43 > 0:04:45# Let's go back to God

0:04:45 > 0:04:49- # Let us go back - Let's go back to God

0:04:49 > 0:04:52- # Come on - Let's go back to God

0:04:52 > 0:04:55- # Let's go back - Let's go back to God

0:04:55 > 0:04:59- # Come on, yeah - Let's go back to God

0:04:59 > 0:05:03- # Let us go back - Let's go back to God

0:05:03 > 0:05:05- # Go back to God - Come let's go back... #

0:05:05 > 0:05:10Aww! You need something to eat, angel.

0:05:11 > 0:05:16Othar, I went and complained about Weemack today.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Don't know if it'll do any good!

0:05:18 > 0:05:22That boy hanging by a thread. Over the pit.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Fiery pit!

0:05:24 > 0:05:28"Left My Wallet In El Segundo."

0:05:29 > 0:05:30Oooh!

0:05:31 > 0:05:3467 years of life,

0:05:34 > 0:05:3846 years of marriage -

0:05:38 > 0:05:42you mean to tell me you never once suffered from piles?

0:05:42 > 0:05:45Well, it's the human condition!

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Most humans, anyhow.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Like that ballplayer said,

0:05:50 > 0:05:53the world's got two kind of folks -

0:05:53 > 0:05:57them that's got the piles and them that's gonna get 'em.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00But you always was healthy as a ox.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03Passed on 'fore you could get the piles. Mm-hmm!

0:06:03 > 0:06:07Ooh, thank the Lord you never was sick.

0:06:07 > 0:06:12Just went and passed away, nice and peaceful.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16Go to sleep one night, wake up in the glory land!

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Whoo!

0:06:23 > 0:06:25CAT GROWLS SOFTLY

0:06:25 > 0:06:27SHARP RAP AT DOOR

0:06:37 > 0:06:39- CAT MEOWS - Pickles!

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Go fetch Pickles!

0:06:44 > 0:06:45Pickles?

0:06:45 > 0:06:48Aw! He's up that tree again!

0:06:48 > 0:06:52- You better shimmy on up. - Well, I do apologise, madam,

0:06:52 > 0:06:56but won't the feline eventually tire of his lonely perch,

0:06:56 > 0:06:59and, pining for affection, return on his own initiative?

0:06:59 > 0:07:02The point being...

0:07:02 > 0:07:05must we actually ascend the tree?

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Look, I don't want no double talk.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10If you not gonna fetch him, I guess I gotta call the police.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13- Police? - And they not gonna be happy!

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Every time they have to fetch him,

0:07:15 > 0:07:18they swear they'll never do it no more.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21No need to call the authorities, madam.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24I did this often as a child.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26I was a positive lemur.

0:07:26 > 0:07:27Here, kitty.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30- Don't upset him, now! - I wouldn't think of it, madam.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Harmless little Felix domesticus.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35HE GRUNTS

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Here, kitty! Come to GH.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Come, come. CAT GROWLS SOFTLY

0:07:40 > 0:07:44Here, kitty. Here, kitty. Come, come.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47- No, no! - That's not how Sheriff Wyner do it.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Here, here. Come, come. CAT HISSES

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Come to the professor.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Oof!

0:08:03 > 0:08:07I... Thank you, madam, for your act of kindness.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Well, you let him out.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12I certainly did, and for that, I apologise no end.

0:08:12 > 0:08:17Allow me to present myself, er, formally.

0:08:17 > 0:08:20Goldthwait Higginson Dorr PhD.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23Like Elmer?

0:08:23 > 0:08:24I beg your pardon, ma'am?

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Fudd.

0:08:27 > 0:08:32No, no. PhD is a mark of academic attainment,

0:08:32 > 0:08:35bestowed, in my case, in recognition of my mastery

0:08:35 > 0:08:37of the antique languages of Latin and Greek.

0:08:37 > 0:08:41I hold a number of advanced degrees, including the Baccalaureate

0:08:41 > 0:08:44from a school in Paris, France, called the Sorbonne.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Sore bone. Hmn.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Well, that fits!

0:08:48 > 0:08:51You ever study at Bob Jones University?

0:08:51 > 0:08:54- I have not had that privilege. - Oh, that's a Bible school!

0:08:54 > 0:08:56- Only the finest in the country! - Ooh!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58- I send 'em 5 every month. - That's very generous.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01- I'm on the mailing list!- Indeed. - I'm a angel!- Are you? Yes.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05- They list my name in the newsletter! - Do they?

0:09:05 > 0:09:08I got the literature over here, if you'd like to examine it.

0:09:08 > 0:09:13Perhaps when my head has recovered from its...buffeting.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Mrs Munson, are you at all curious

0:09:16 > 0:09:21as to why I darkened your door, as the expression would have it,

0:09:21 > 0:09:24on this lovely, lovely camellia-scented morn?

0:09:24 > 0:09:27I was wonderin', till you let Pickles out.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30- I understand. - Then in all the excitement, I...

0:09:30 > 0:09:32The fact is, I saw the sign in your window

0:09:32 > 0:09:35advertising a room to let.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38And there are no other such signs among the houses

0:09:38 > 0:09:41on this charming, charming street.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44Yeah, I got a room. 15 a week.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46I'm looking for a quiet tenant.

0:09:46 > 0:09:51Madam, you are addressing a man who is quiet...

0:09:51 > 0:09:55and yet...not quiet,

0:09:55 > 0:09:57if I may offer a riddle.

0:09:57 > 0:10:02I am currently on sabbatical from the institution where I teach,

0:10:02 > 0:10:05the University of Mississippi at Hattiesburg.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08I am taking a year off to indulge my passion,

0:10:08 > 0:10:10and that is not too strong a word,

0:10:10 > 0:10:13- for the music of the Renaissance. - Mmn-hmn.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15I perform in, and have the honour of directing,

0:10:15 > 0:10:19a period-instrument ensemble that performs at Renaissance fairs

0:10:19 > 0:10:22and other cultural fora throughout central southern Mississippi.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24We perform on the instruments

0:10:24 > 0:10:26for which the music was written and composed.

0:10:26 > 0:10:30Now, wait a minute. You got some kind of band?

0:10:30 > 0:10:35The word "band" would be, in this context,

0:10:35 > 0:10:37something of a misnomer.

0:10:37 > 0:10:41Though we do play together, hence the word "ensemble",

0:10:41 > 0:10:43the nature of the music is such

0:10:43 > 0:10:47that one would hesitate to apply the epithet "band",

0:10:47 > 0:10:49with connotations of jangling...

0:10:49 > 0:10:54So, y'all don't play hippity-hop? "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo!"

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Songs with the titles spelled all funny?

0:10:56 > 0:10:59No, no, no! We play music...

0:10:59 > 0:11:04that has been composed to the greater glory of God.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Devotional music.

0:11:08 > 0:11:10Church music.

0:11:10 > 0:11:15- Gospel music?- Well, inspired by the Gospel, certainly.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18The vintage, of course, is no more recent than the Rococo.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Rococo, huh?

0:11:20 > 0:11:22Well, I guess that'd be OK.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26But I don't propose to inflict our rehearsals on you.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28May I enquire,

0:11:28 > 0:11:31do you have a root cellar?

0:11:34 > 0:11:35Ah.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Yes.

0:11:38 > 0:11:41Yes, yes.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46- This looks promising. - A little dank, ain't it?

0:11:46 > 0:11:50Indeed. That only improves the acoustics.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56PERFORMS STRANGE VOCAL EXERCISE

0:11:58 > 0:12:00Marvellous.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03Yes. HE GASPS

0:12:03 > 0:12:06These earthen walls are ideal

0:12:06 > 0:12:13for baffling the higher registers of the, er, lute or sackbut.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16HE YELPS

0:12:16 > 0:12:18That is why so much music of the cinquecento

0:12:18 > 0:12:20was played in crypts and catacombs.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22This is ideal. This is perfect.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26This is more than perfect. I can scarcely contain my glee.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Oh, you containin' it OK.

0:12:28 > 0:12:32GOSPEL-INFUSED HIP-HOP PLAYS

0:12:32 > 0:12:35You gotta peel this shit out. Sometimes it sticks to the bottom.

0:12:35 > 0:12:38Man, she smells.

0:12:38 > 0:12:43Even out here on the casino floor you find goddamn mercy pads!

0:12:43 > 0:12:47I don't know what the fuck people be doing while they're gamblin'.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50Mack, I ain't peeling no funky shit with my human hands.

0:12:50 > 0:12:54That's nothin' but a prescription for diseases and viruses and shit!

0:12:54 > 0:12:57Shit, you gotta do it. Mr Gudge checks everything.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00This tunnel leads back to the land for the people that work for Mannex.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Mannex - they own the Bandit Queen, three other boats.

0:13:03 > 0:13:06This is where they take all their corporate shit, Gudge and them.

0:13:06 > 0:13:10The light's ugly as hell, but, shit, ain't as many Tucks.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15- Let me in, motherfucker! - <- What's the password?

0:13:15 > 0:13:16Kiss my ass!

0:13:18 > 0:13:20LARGE MAN LAUGHS HEARTILY

0:13:22 > 0:13:24They count the dough here.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27You try to take any, Elron'll shoot yo ass.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Goddamn!

0:13:29 > 0:13:31Dawg, this is a motherfuckin' pigsty!

0:13:31 > 0:13:35You are a squeaky-ass motherfuckin' pig!

0:13:35 > 0:13:37You got Cocoa Krispies on your uniform,

0:13:37 > 0:13:40you got breakfast there, and you still eating goddamn lunch.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43If ass was nickels, you'd be a motherfuckin' millionaire.

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Spread out. Look at you! You a disgrace before God.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49You is a fat motherfucker, I swear...

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Hey, Mr Gudge, er, how're you doin'?

0:13:51 > 0:13:53- I'm doing fine. - All right.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55So, how's the new man?

0:13:55 > 0:13:57Oh, he's a cleanin' motherfucker.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Is that a fact?

0:13:59 > 0:14:01What's up, my nigga?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS

0:14:09 > 0:14:10Cut!

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Cut! Cut. Cut.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15Goddamn it, his canteen fell off. Props!

0:14:15 > 0:14:18The goddamn thing's canteen fell off.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20OK. We're prepared for that.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23Mountain, put Otto into the apparatus.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32- What the hell is this? - World War I vintage gas mask.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35It's authentic. Strapped on, so it can't fall off.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37The animal is free to be as active as he wants.

0:14:37 > 0:14:42It doesn't inhibit his movement and it really sells the doughboy thing.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45- It looks like a fucking joke. - You're absolutely right.

0:14:45 > 0:14:49- The gas mask is a whimsical concept. - How does it eat the Nibbles?

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Well, you're absolutely right.

0:14:51 > 0:14:55- Don't let the client see this. Or that Humane fucker.- Course not.

0:14:55 > 0:14:56They'll shut the fucking spot down!

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Put the canteen back on! That says he's a soldier.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02Dented tin canteen. Strap it to his fucking collar!

0:15:02 > 0:15:05Easiest thing in the world. I just thought...

0:15:05 > 0:15:07- What?! - You're right.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Canteen's much better. Let's go with that.

0:15:09 > 0:15:11DOG GASPS FOR AIR

0:15:13 > 0:15:15What's he doing?

0:15:15 > 0:15:18Well, he's, er... Just breathe normally, Otto.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20- The fucking dog can't breathe! - He can breathe!

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Er, that thing is... Just breathe normally, Otto.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26The fucking dog can't breathe! The fucking dog cannot breathe!

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Get the fucking thing off him.

0:15:28 > 0:15:30Of course. Easiest thing in the world.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Mountain, give me your Leatherman.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35Chitra! Keep that Humane fucker from coming over here.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38- He'll shit if he sees us. - There we go.

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Mountain, run me a stinger. Don't give up, Otto!

0:15:41 > 0:15:45- Mountain, I need two live leads! - But the gennie's 100 yards away.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Otto will have brain damage in 30 seconds!

0:15:47 > 0:15:50Here we go. OK. Kiss of life.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52Otto is fucking dead! What the fuck are you doing?

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Otto is fucking dead!

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Set! 320!

0:15:58 > 0:16:00320! Hut!

0:16:08 > 0:16:09Ooof!

0:16:15 > 0:16:1990, tiger, x-slant, on one. Ready? Break!

0:16:19 > 0:16:20Hut!

0:16:29 > 0:16:33Split left. 68. Z-go. You the man.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35Hey, butthead!

0:16:35 > 0:16:37You the man!

0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Me the man? - On one. Ready? Break!

0:16:40 > 0:16:42390!

0:16:42 > 0:16:44390! Hut!

0:16:52 > 0:16:54CROWD ROARS

0:16:54 > 0:16:55Oof!

0:17:03 > 0:17:05WHISTLE BLOWS

0:17:07 > 0:17:09Hudson! Get your ass off the field!

0:17:09 > 0:17:12Get your ass off the field!

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Goddamn it! Hudson, get your ass off...

0:17:15 > 0:17:17You couldn't catch a cold!

0:17:17 > 0:17:19- # Just another day, another dollar - Just another day

0:17:19 > 0:17:21- # Just another day, another dollar - Just another day

0:17:21 > 0:17:24- # Just another day, another dollar - Just another day... #

0:17:33 > 0:17:36DOOR BEEPS

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Hi, Dragon Lady. We want that fuckin' money.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40We want that doughnut money.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43SHE SPEAKS CHINESE RAPIDLY

0:17:43 > 0:17:46SHE YELPS

0:17:46 > 0:17:47- OK, papa san! - Whoa, whoa!

0:17:47 > 0:17:51- We want that doughnut money. - We ain't fuckin' around, Mr Hi-ho!

0:17:51 > 0:17:52It ain't complicated.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55You give us the fucking money, don't get shot in the head.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Aye? You got three seconds.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01You got three fuckin' seconds, aye?

0:18:01 > 0:18:04- One, two, three. Understand? - We want that doughnut money!

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Uno and two...

0:18:06 > 0:18:07Uhhh!

0:18:13 > 0:18:17His fingers are way the fuck up my nose!

0:18:17 > 0:18:20Get your fingers out of my man's nose!

0:18:20 > 0:18:21SHE SPEAKS CHINESE

0:18:21 > 0:18:24Coffee?

0:18:24 > 0:18:25HE HOWLS

0:18:37 > 0:18:39- # Shine on - Let it

0:18:39 > 0:18:42- # Shine on - Come on now, let your

0:18:42 > 0:18:45- # Light from the lighthouse - Let it shine on me

0:18:45 > 0:18:47- # Let it - Shine on

0:18:47 > 0:18:49- # Come on now, let it - Shine on

0:18:49 > 0:18:51# You've got to let your

0:18:51 > 0:18:54- # Light from the lighthouse - Let it shine on me

0:18:54 > 0:18:57- # Let it shine - Shine on

0:18:57 > 0:18:59- # Let it shine on me - Shine on

0:18:59 > 0:19:01- # Let it shine on - Shine on

0:19:01 > 0:19:03- # You got to let it shine on me - Shine on

0:19:03 > 0:19:05- # When you're walking in darkness - Shine on

0:19:05 > 0:19:08- # You got to let it shine - Shine on

0:19:08 > 0:19:10- # If you want to see the light - Aaah

0:19:10 > 0:19:12- # You've got to let it shine - Shine

0:19:12 > 0:19:14- # You've got to let it shine - Shine

0:19:14 > 0:19:16- # You've got to let it shine - Shine

0:19:16 > 0:19:19- # Come on, shine - Shine

0:19:19 > 0:19:21- # Come on, shine - Shine

0:19:21 > 0:19:23- # Come on, shine - Shine

0:19:23 > 0:19:25# You've got to come on let it shine

0:19:25 > 0:19:26# Whoo

0:19:29 > 0:19:31# Let it shine

0:19:32 > 0:19:33# Let it shine

0:19:41 > 0:19:43- # Let it shine - Shine on

0:19:43 > 0:19:45- # Let it shine - Shine on

0:19:45 > 0:19:47- # Let it shine - Shine on

0:19:47 > 0:19:50- # Let your light - From the lighthouse

0:19:50 > 0:19:52# Shine

0:19:52 > 0:19:54# On

0:19:54 > 0:19:57- # Me - Let it shine on me

0:19:57 > 0:19:59# Yeeeaaaah! #

0:20:15 > 0:20:17I know you all remember...

0:20:17 > 0:20:20that when Moses came down the mountain... ALL: Oh, yeah!

0:20:20 > 0:20:22..carrying the Word of God... ALL: Word o' God!

0:20:22 > 0:20:24..come down that Sinai peak... ALL: Yeah!

0:20:24 > 0:20:27..he caught them Israelites red-handed.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29What did he catch them doing? ALL MURMUR

0:20:29 > 0:20:31He caught them worshippin'... ALL: Ah!

0:20:31 > 0:20:33..a golden calf. ALL: Oh!

0:20:33 > 0:20:35He caught 'em worshippin'... ALL: Worshippin'!

0:20:35 > 0:20:37..a false god.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39He caught them Israelites...

0:20:39 > 0:20:42in decline. ALL: In decline!

0:20:42 > 0:20:45What did Moses do when he saw those...

0:20:45 > 0:20:47declinin', backslidin', never-mindin' sinners?

0:20:47 > 0:20:49ALL: What he do?

0:20:49 > 0:20:53Moses smote those sinners in his wrath! Yes, he did! ALL: He did!

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Y'all know what "smote" is? ALL MURMUR

0:20:56 > 0:20:58I smite, you smite, he smites, we done smote!

0:20:58 > 0:21:00LAUGHTER

0:21:00 > 0:21:03To smite is to go upside the head!

0:21:03 > 0:21:07Because sometimes, brothers and sisters, that's the only way!

0:21:07 > 0:21:10The only way.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12To smite is to remind,

0:21:12 > 0:21:14we got to stop that decline

0:21:14 > 0:21:18and scramble back up to the face of the Almighty God!

0:21:18 > 0:21:19Amen!

0:21:19 > 0:21:22Instead of worshippin' that golden calf,

0:21:22 > 0:21:25that earthly trash on that garbage island,

0:21:25 > 0:21:27that garbage island in the shadowland,

0:21:27 > 0:21:32wa-a-a-y...

0:21:32 > 0:21:34way outside the Kingdom of God!

0:21:34 > 0:21:38That garbage island where scavenger birds feast

0:21:38 > 0:21:41on the bones of the backslidin' damned!

0:21:41 > 0:21:43WHOOPING

0:21:43 > 0:21:45And so...

0:21:45 > 0:21:47let us pray.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51HUMMING

0:21:53 > 0:21:56SHARP RAP AT DOOR

0:21:57 > 0:22:01My dear lady, I do hope this is not an inopportune time for our first practice.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04- Somebody die? - I beg your pardon?

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Oh! HE CHUCKLES

0:22:06 > 0:22:09No, no! I'm not bereaved.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Though, it is so kind of you to enquire.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14The hearse is simply a vehicle commodious enough

0:22:14 > 0:22:16to accommodate our entire ensemble.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18And, of course, our instruments,

0:22:18 > 0:22:22contrived in an age ignorant of miniaturisation.

0:22:22 > 0:22:26Allow me to introduce my friends, colleagues, devoted musicians...

0:22:26 > 0:22:29Ain't no smokin' in this house.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Oh. Sorry.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34INSTRUMENTS ARE TUNED

0:22:49 > 0:22:53What do you think, General? Present any problems?

0:22:53 > 0:22:55TRUMPET BLOWS

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Good, then.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Gentlemen, why don't we crowd around

0:23:01 > 0:23:03and go over the plan?

0:23:07 > 0:23:11GENTLE CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS Gentlemen, this is the Bandit Queen.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Gambling den, cash cow,

0:23:13 > 0:23:17Sodom of the Mississippi Delta, and the focus of our little exercise.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Here is Orchard Street.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21Here is the residence of Marva Munson,

0:23:21 > 0:23:23the charming lady whom you just met moments ago.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27I'm sure you're aware that the Solons of the state of Mississippi,

0:23:27 > 0:23:29to wit, its legislature,

0:23:29 > 0:23:33forbid any gaming establishment within its borders upon dry land.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36They may, however, legally float.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39While the gambling activity is restricted to riverboats,

0:23:39 > 0:23:43no such restrictions apply to functions ancillary to this cash-besotted business.

0:23:43 > 0:23:47The casino's offices, locker rooms, facilities to cook and clean

0:23:47 > 0:23:49and, most importantly, its counting houses,

0:23:49 > 0:23:55the reinforced, secret, super secure repositories of the lucre,

0:23:55 > 0:23:57may all be situated...

0:23:57 > 0:23:58wherever.

0:23:58 > 0:24:02Gawain...where is "wherever"?

0:24:02 > 0:24:04Say what?

0:24:04 > 0:24:07- Where's the money? - Oh!

0:24:07 > 0:24:10OK, look. At the end of every shift,

0:24:10 > 0:24:14the pit boss brings the cash down to the hold of the ship in a cash box.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18Once a day, all the cash is moved to the counting room.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22And where is the counting room?

0:24:22 > 0:24:26Well, right there in that square where you pointin'.

0:24:26 > 0:24:30And what, to flog a horse that, if not dead,

0:24:30 > 0:24:33is at this point in mortal danger of expiring,

0:24:33 > 0:24:35does this little square represent?

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Offices! Underground.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Ha!

0:24:40 > 0:24:41Underground!

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Mmn...

0:24:43 > 0:24:45Under...ground.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48During the casino's hours of operation,

0:24:48 > 0:24:50the door to this counting room is fiercely guarded.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53The door itself is redoubtable Pittsburgh steel.

0:24:53 > 0:24:56When the casino closes, this entire complex is locked up

0:24:56 > 0:25:00and the armed guard retreats to the casino's main entrance.

0:25:00 > 0:25:05There, far from the guard, reposes the money,

0:25:05 > 0:25:08behind a five-inch-thick steel portal.

0:25:08 > 0:25:09Yes.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12But the walls...

0:25:12 > 0:25:16the walls are but humble masonry,

0:25:16 > 0:25:19behind which is only the soft, loamy soil

0:25:19 > 0:25:22deposited over centuries by the Old Man,

0:25:22 > 0:25:24the meandering Mississippi,

0:25:24 > 0:25:29as it fanned its way back and forth across the great alluvial plain,

0:25:29 > 0:25:31leaving earth...

0:25:32 > 0:25:34..this earth.

0:25:35 > 0:25:41The General, whose curriculum vitae comprehends tunnelling experience

0:25:41 > 0:25:43through the soil of his native French Indochina,

0:25:43 > 0:25:46shall be directing our little tunnelling operation.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49Garth Pancake, though a master of none,

0:25:49 > 0:25:52is a jack of all those trades corollary to our aim.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55He will be doing such fabricating and demolition work

0:25:55 > 0:25:58- as our little caper shall require. - Happy to be on board.

0:25:58 > 0:26:02Gawain is our proverbial "inside man".

0:26:02 > 0:26:04He has secured himself a berth

0:26:04 > 0:26:06on the custodial staff of the Bandit Queen.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Damn skippy!

0:26:08 > 0:26:11And this brings us to Lump.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13To look at Lump, you might wonder

0:26:13 > 0:26:16what specialised expertise could he possibly offer

0:26:16 > 0:26:19our merry little old band of miscreants?

0:26:19 > 0:26:22Well, gentlemen, in a project of such risks,

0:26:22 > 0:26:26it is imperative to enlist the services of a hooligan,

0:26:26 > 0:26:28a goon, an ape, a physical brute.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30Someone who will be our security,

0:26:30 > 0:26:34our battering ram, our blunt instrument.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37And on our behalf, I wish him a warm Mississippi welcome.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39- Fuckin' A. - Whassup, my nigga?

0:26:39 > 0:26:41Well, gentlemen, here you are,

0:26:41 > 0:26:45men of different backgrounds and different talents,

0:26:45 > 0:26:46with but two things in common.

0:26:46 > 0:26:50One, you answered my advertisement in the Memphis Scimitar.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52Two, you're all going to be, in consequence,

0:26:52 > 0:26:54very, very, incredibly rich.

0:26:54 > 0:26:57Let us revel in our adventure, gentlemen.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59Let us make beautiful... HE CHUCKLES

0:26:59 > 0:27:01..music together!

0:27:01 > 0:27:04And, by all means, let us keep this to ourselves.

0:27:04 > 0:27:09What we say in this root cellar, let it stay in this root cellar.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11There's no "I" in team.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05# Trouble in and trouble out

0:28:05 > 0:28:06# Trouble's what this world's about

0:28:06 > 0:28:08# Troubles of this world

0:28:08 > 0:28:10# The devil's in this world

0:28:10 > 0:28:12# Trouble in and trouble out

0:28:12 > 0:28:14# Trouble's what this world's about

0:28:14 > 0:28:16# Trouble's of this world

0:28:16 > 0:28:17# The devil's in this world

0:28:17 > 0:28:19# You up the river without a paddle

0:28:19 > 0:28:21# In a lot of trouble

0:28:21 > 0:28:23# Without a doubt you going under

0:28:23 > 0:28:25# Running out of bubbles

0:28:25 > 0:28:27# Pass me the body bag

0:28:27 > 0:28:29# Watch me dump 'em

0:28:29 > 0:28:32# It ain't nothing for you to get squashed like a pumpkin

0:28:32 > 0:28:34# I try so hard and play my cards

0:28:34 > 0:28:36# And pray to God I ain't involved

0:28:36 > 0:28:38# I gotta call I'm much appalled

0:28:38 > 0:28:39# I came to Oz and broke the law

0:28:39 > 0:28:41# Bring on the casket Ain't too glad

0:28:41 > 0:28:43# Cos dirty hazard wrapped in plastic... #

0:29:02 > 0:29:04KNOCKING AT DOOR

0:29:04 > 0:29:05WHISTLES

0:29:22 > 0:29:24MUSIC CEASES

0:29:26 > 0:29:29That's OK. Don't stop on account of me.

0:29:29 > 0:29:32No, not at all, madam. Not at all.

0:29:32 > 0:29:34We were about to take a break, anyway.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37The glissandi on this piece are technically very demanding,

0:29:37 > 0:29:42and I'm sure we would all welcome a moment of R&R.

0:29:42 > 0:29:44Well, I just thought you'd like to see...

0:29:44 > 0:29:49What you gotten into, honey? Why you sweating like that?!

0:29:49 > 0:29:52- Er... Er... - HE MUMBLES NERVOUSLY

0:29:52 > 0:29:54Er, t-that boy right there -

0:29:54 > 0:29:58he plays one bitch barrel full of a sackbut!

0:29:58 > 0:30:01Ain't that right, Lump? I'm telling you, he can tear it up.

0:30:01 > 0:30:04Nobody play the sackbut like Lump right there.

0:30:04 > 0:30:06Oooh! Don't be shy, Lump.

0:30:06 > 0:30:09That boy, he go at it like it was some pussy!

0:30:10 > 0:30:12- Oh, shit! - Mind your mouth!

0:30:12 > 0:30:14This is a Christian house, boy.

0:30:14 > 0:30:17Ain't no hippity-hop language in here.

0:30:17 > 0:30:19Sometime it's the only way.

0:30:19 > 0:30:22- You ain't gonna hit me... - I'm trying to help you, boy,

0:30:22 > 0:30:24better yo'self.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27And so you should, madam.

0:30:27 > 0:30:30Gawain is so far transported

0:30:30 > 0:30:34by his love of the music of the early Renaissance...

0:30:34 > 0:30:36Don't make me no never mind he transported!

0:30:36 > 0:30:39- Have you been smokin'? - Certainly not!

0:30:39 > 0:30:41I understand your indignation,

0:30:41 > 0:30:43and I was offering an explanation, not an excuse...

0:30:43 > 0:30:46- Hey, don't be explaining me, dawg! - THE PROFESSOR CONTINUES TO CHATTER

0:30:46 > 0:30:49You can't read my motherfuckin' mind!

0:30:49 > 0:30:53You might got your PhD, but I got my GEB!

0:30:53 > 0:30:55Nigga!

0:30:55 > 0:30:58A fiery lad.

0:30:58 > 0:31:01But then, youth is fiery.

0:31:01 > 0:31:06A fact often remarked upon by the poets of the Romantic era.

0:31:06 > 0:31:09In my youth, I was in church! I wasn't walkin' around fiery.

0:31:09 > 0:31:11Youth ain't no excuse for nothin'.

0:31:13 > 0:31:15Anyhow, I just came to show you the fife.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17Othar's fife.

0:31:17 > 0:31:19Burned his own.

0:31:19 > 0:31:22I thought maybe you being a man of music, you'd be interested.

0:31:22 > 0:31:25Oh, indeed I am.

0:31:25 > 0:31:28Cut it hisself and burned his holes.

0:31:28 > 0:31:31The Israelites called it a khalil.

0:31:31 > 0:31:33You can read all about it in the Bible.

0:31:33 > 0:31:35- Ain't nothin' new under the sun! - SHE CHUCKLES

0:31:35 > 0:31:38Indeed...not.

0:31:39 > 0:31:41SHE SIGHS HEAVILY

0:31:41 > 0:31:44Gone these 20 years.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47He was some kind of man.

0:31:53 > 0:31:55Blowed the khalil.

0:32:00 > 0:32:02I don't suppose...

0:32:02 > 0:32:04Othar ever...

0:32:04 > 0:32:07turned his hand or... HE CHUCKLES

0:32:07 > 0:32:13..turned his lip, to blowing the shofar?

0:32:14 > 0:32:16The ceremonial ram's horn

0:32:16 > 0:32:19sounded by the priests of the Hebrews.

0:32:19 > 0:32:22I don't know nothin' about that.

0:32:22 > 0:32:25Othar never blowed no shofar!

0:32:25 > 0:32:28- Of course not. - Not to the extent of my knowledge.

0:32:28 > 0:32:31The khalil was good enough for my Othar.

0:32:32 > 0:32:35- SHE SIGHS CONTEMPLATIVELY - Some kind of man.

0:32:38 > 0:32:40Some kind of man.

0:32:42 > 0:32:45Oh, goddamn! Come on, girl, let me get one little peek.

0:32:45 > 0:32:49Don't be cruel. Just one butt cheek. Pull that ass out and make it clap.

0:32:49 > 0:32:54Just cos I'm dressed like a janitor don't mean you gotta do me dirty.

0:32:54 > 0:32:58This motherfucker's the jackpot. Come here and blow on these dice.

0:32:58 > 0:33:00I'm a seven on the roll, but I'm a ten the hard way,

0:33:00 > 0:33:02and I ain't just talkin' crap.

0:33:04 > 0:33:06Mr Gudge,

0:33:06 > 0:33:09she had a ass that could pull a bus.

0:33:09 > 0:33:12I mean, it was more than ass, it was literature.

0:33:12 > 0:33:15I don't care how big her ass was, MacSam.

0:33:15 > 0:33:17- You're fired. - You say what?

0:33:17 > 0:33:21No fraternising with customers on the Bandit Queen. Clean out your locker.

0:33:21 > 0:33:24- I wasn't... - Get out of here. You're fired.

0:33:24 > 0:33:27You can't fire me! I'll sue your ass!

0:33:27 > 0:33:29Sue me? For what?

0:33:29 > 0:33:31For fuckin' punitive damages, man!

0:33:31 > 0:33:34- Punitive damages. - Yeah, you goddamn skippy!

0:33:34 > 0:33:36HE CHUCKLES Punitive damages?

0:33:36 > 0:33:40I see why you're firing me. It's simple and plain.

0:33:40 > 0:33:43You firin' me cos I'm black.

0:33:44 > 0:33:48MacSam, everybody on the custodial staff is black.

0:33:48 > 0:33:50Your replacement is gonna be black.

0:33:50 > 0:33:53His replacement, no doubt, will be black!

0:33:53 > 0:33:56Well, the fucking judge is gonna be black, motherfucker.

0:33:56 > 0:33:59And you, you gonna stand tall before the man.

0:33:59 > 0:34:02Your replacement is gonna be black! Motherfucker!

0:34:02 > 0:34:03Thank you.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07Oh, my!

0:34:07 > 0:34:10Oh, my, my, my, my, my! This is a severe setback.

0:34:10 > 0:34:13I am distraught. I am more than distraught.

0:34:13 > 0:34:15I am devastated.

0:34:15 > 0:34:18I am beside myself. I'm at a positive loss for words.

0:34:18 > 0:34:20You still talkin' OK, though.

0:34:20 > 0:34:22Have y'all decided?

0:34:22 > 0:34:27Madam, we must have waffles. We must all have waffles forthwith!

0:34:27 > 0:34:29We must all think, we must have waffles,

0:34:29 > 0:34:32and think, every one of us, to the best of his ability.

0:34:32 > 0:34:36Perhaps if you apologised to the man and gave him flowers.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38Or perhaps a fruit basket,

0:34:38 > 0:34:40with a card depicting a misty seascape

0:34:40 > 0:34:42and inscribed with a sentiment.

0:34:42 > 0:34:45I ain't apologisin'! He fired me cos I'm black!

0:34:45 > 0:34:47He can't do that.

0:34:47 > 0:34:49- Sue him. Open-and-shut case. - Fuckin' A.

0:34:49 > 0:34:54Chocolates have been known to melt the heart of the hardest misanthrope.

0:34:54 > 0:34:56That man ain't rollin' over for no candy bar.

0:34:56 > 0:34:59We've had a bit of a setback on the tunnelling front, too.

0:34:59 > 0:35:01We've run into a pretty large rock.

0:35:01 > 0:35:03Rock!

0:35:05 > 0:35:07Very bad. Very bad.

0:35:07 > 0:35:09Oh, my!

0:35:11 > 0:35:14It seems that the poet was right -

0:35:14 > 0:35:18"Troubles never singly come."

0:35:18 > 0:35:20We can get through the rock. Easiest thing in the world.

0:35:20 > 0:35:22We just blow right through it.

0:35:22 > 0:35:25I got a pyro licence - just bore a hole in the rock

0:35:25 > 0:35:27and pack in a little plastique

0:35:27 > 0:35:29and igneous blows pretty good...

0:35:29 > 0:35:32Hello, Garth. Am I ordering primer cord?

0:35:32 > 0:35:34Yes, Mountain. We were just talking about that.

0:35:34 > 0:35:36And some plastique.

0:35:36 > 0:35:39- What the fuck is this? - This is Mountain Girl.

0:35:39 > 0:35:42Mountain is my right hand. She helps me out with ordnance.

0:35:42 > 0:35:44Helps me with damn near everything.

0:35:44 > 0:35:46Hey.

0:35:46 > 0:35:49You brought your bitch... to the Waffle Hut?

0:35:49 > 0:35:53Ahem! I must confess myself to be puzzled, as well.

0:35:53 > 0:35:57I thought it was understood that when it came to our enterprise,

0:35:57 > 0:35:59"mum" was the word.

0:35:59 > 0:36:02Of course. I understand. But this is Mountain Girl.

0:36:02 > 0:36:04I don't keep secrets from Mountain.

0:36:04 > 0:36:07That's not how you maintain a loving, caring relationship!

0:36:07 > 0:36:10You brought your bitch... to the Waffle Hut!

0:36:10 > 0:36:15The man...brought his bitch... to the Waffle Hut!

0:36:15 > 0:36:19I will thank you to stop referring to Mountain that way.

0:36:19 > 0:36:20She is the other half of my life.

0:36:20 > 0:36:23Everybody looking at me like I'm some kind of fuck-up

0:36:23 > 0:36:25for losing a sorry-ass job,

0:36:25 > 0:36:29and this motherfucker brings his bitch

0:36:29 > 0:36:31to the motherfuckin' Waffle Hut!

0:36:31 > 0:36:33- Punk, shut your goddamn mouth! - You better raise the fuck up!

0:36:33 > 0:36:35Yeah, you better back the fuck up!

0:36:35 > 0:36:37- Back the fuck up! - Gentlemen...

0:36:37 > 0:36:39- Gentlemen, please. - What? What?

0:36:39 > 0:36:41Please, gentlemen,

0:36:41 > 0:36:44this behaviour does you no credit in the eyes of your colleagues,

0:36:44 > 0:36:48nor in those of the other patrons of this Waffle Hut.

0:36:48 > 0:36:52Punk! Look at this! I got blueberry syrup on my safari jacket!

0:36:52 > 0:36:57Gentlemen, I propose that we consider the matter of this woman,

0:36:57 > 0:36:59- Mountain Water to... - Mountain Girl!

0:36:59 > 0:37:01I'm so very sorry.

0:37:01 > 0:37:04I propose that we consider this matter closed.

0:37:04 > 0:37:06We shall choose to trust her... MOUNTAIN GIRL WEEPS

0:37:06 > 0:37:08..since we have no choice,

0:37:08 > 0:37:12and since she shall share only Mr Pancake's portion of the booty.

0:37:12 > 0:37:16- Wouldn't have it any other way. - Damn right you won't.

0:37:16 > 0:37:18- Up yours, punk! - Fuck you and the Swiss miss.

0:37:18 > 0:37:21The matter of disposing of our igneous impediment...

0:37:21 > 0:37:24- Coach? - ..is also closed.

0:37:24 > 0:37:26- Settled. - Coach...

0:37:26 > 0:37:28That leaves us only with the question...

0:37:28 > 0:37:31- Coach! - ..of Gawain retrieving his job.

0:37:31 > 0:37:33- Coach? - Yes, Lump?

0:37:33 > 0:37:36Couldn't we just bribe the guy?

0:37:37 > 0:37:40# One of

0:37:41 > 0:37:46# These mornings

0:37:46 > 0:37:50# I'm a-going

0:37:50 > 0:37:52# Away... #

0:37:52 > 0:37:56You are a readin' fool, aren't you, Mr Dorr?!

0:37:57 > 0:38:00Yes, I must confess,

0:38:00 > 0:38:03I often find myself more at home in these ancient volumes

0:38:03 > 0:38:07than in the hustle bustle of the modern world.

0:38:07 > 0:38:10To me, paradoxically,

0:38:10 > 0:38:13the literature of the so-called "dead" tongues

0:38:13 > 0:38:16holds more currency than this morning's newspaper.

0:38:16 > 0:38:18In these books,

0:38:18 > 0:38:21in these volumes,

0:38:21 > 0:38:24there is the accumulated wisdom of mankind,

0:38:24 > 0:38:27which succours me when the day is hard

0:38:27 > 0:38:30and the night lonely and long.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34Hmm!

0:38:34 > 0:38:36The wisdom of mankind, huh?

0:38:36 > 0:38:38What about the wisdom of the Lord?

0:38:38 > 0:38:42Oh, yes, yes. The Good Book. Hmm.

0:38:42 > 0:38:45I have found reward in its pages.

0:38:45 > 0:38:51But to me, there are other good books, as well.

0:38:53 > 0:38:55Heavy volumes of antiquity,

0:38:55 > 0:38:59freighted with the insights of man's glorious age.

0:39:00 > 0:39:03And then, of course...

0:39:03 > 0:39:07I just love, love, love... the works of...

0:39:07 > 0:39:09Mr Edgar Allan Poe.

0:39:09 > 0:39:12Oh, I know who he was. Kinda spooky!

0:39:12 > 0:39:14No, madam, no, no.

0:39:14 > 0:39:18Not of this world, it's true.

0:39:18 > 0:39:21He...he lived in a dream.

0:39:21 > 0:39:23HE INHALES DEEPLY An ancient dream.

0:39:26 > 0:39:28Helen...

0:39:29 > 0:39:34..Thy beauty is to me

0:39:34 > 0:39:39Like those Nicean barks of yore

0:39:39 > 0:39:43That gently, o'er the perfumed sea

0:39:43 > 0:39:47The weary, way-worn wanderer bore

0:39:47 > 0:39:52To his own native shore.

0:39:57 > 0:39:59Who was Helen?

0:39:59 > 0:40:03- Some kinda whore of Babylon? - One doesn't know who Helen was.

0:40:04 > 0:40:07But I picture her as being...

0:40:07 > 0:40:10very, very...

0:40:10 > 0:40:12extremely...

0:40:13 > 0:40:15..pale.

0:40:21 > 0:40:24Mrs Munson, I have been trying...

0:40:24 > 0:40:29to figure out some way of expressing my gratitude to you

0:40:29 > 0:40:32for taking in this... HE CHUCKLES

0:40:32 > 0:40:36..weary, way-worn wanderer!

0:40:36 > 0:40:40It's just a little old present. Why, it's hardly anything at all.

0:40:40 > 0:40:42Why, Mr Dorr!

0:40:42 > 0:40:45You are a gallant man!

0:40:45 > 0:40:46Madam, I blush!

0:40:46 > 0:40:49I happened to hear of this gospel concert tomorrow night,

0:40:49 > 0:40:51The Mighty, Mighty Clouds Of Joy,

0:40:51 > 0:40:54and thought you and a friend from church perhaps would...

0:40:54 > 0:40:57- Yes. I have a widow lady friend. - The concert is up in Memphis,

0:40:57 > 0:41:01so I have arranged a car service to transport you thither.

0:41:01 > 0:41:02- SHARP KNOCK AT DOOR - Huh?

0:41:04 > 0:41:07Why, Sheriff Wyner! How are you doin'?

0:41:07 > 0:41:08Good evening, Mrs Munson.

0:41:08 > 0:41:11I just stopped by to let you know I did have a talk with Weemack.

0:41:11 > 0:41:15He told me he'll comply with your request in keeping that music down.

0:41:15 > 0:41:17Have yourself a pleasant evening.

0:41:17 > 0:41:20I've got somebody I want you to meet.

0:41:20 > 0:41:22Ma'am, I'm a little pressed for time.

0:41:22 > 0:41:26A gang of bank robbers you chasing?! Come on in here and say hello!

0:41:26 > 0:41:29- Mrs Munson, I... - Yeah, we were havin' tea, and...

0:41:29 > 0:41:32GRAMOPHONE PLAYS A GOSPEL TUNE

0:41:34 > 0:41:36Huh?

0:41:36 > 0:41:39Bussed his own dishes! You can always tell a gentleman.

0:41:39 > 0:41:43- Somebody was in here, ma'am? - Yeah, with me and Othar.

0:41:43 > 0:41:45Maybe I'll catch him the next time.

0:41:45 > 0:41:47Come on up to his room with me and...

0:41:47 > 0:41:49Mrs Munson, my wife got dinner on the table!

0:41:49 > 0:41:52I really have to be going.

0:41:54 > 0:41:58Oh, my! He is neat!

0:41:58 > 0:42:00Yes, ma'am, he very neat.

0:42:00 > 0:42:04He probably went down to the cellar to play with his friends!

0:42:04 > 0:42:07Ma'am, I really got to be going now.

0:42:07 > 0:42:08What...?

0:42:08 > 0:42:11Ma'am, I really need to be gettin' back.

0:42:12 > 0:42:15Mrs Munson, you don't have to... You don't...

0:42:15 > 0:42:17- M-Mrs Munson? - SHE LAUGHS

0:42:17 > 0:42:20Why, Professor!

0:42:20 > 0:42:24What in the world are you doin' havin' tea down there?

0:42:24 > 0:42:27Er, Mrs Munson? Oh, Lord Jesus.

0:42:27 > 0:42:31SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

0:42:33 > 0:42:35HE LAUGHS POLITELY

0:42:35 > 0:42:36Mrs Munson!

0:42:36 > 0:42:40Land o' Goshen, child! Come on out from under there!

0:42:40 > 0:42:44Mrs Munson, my pager just went off. I got to go.

0:42:45 > 0:42:47I'll meet you and your friend later.

0:42:47 > 0:42:49SHE CONTINUES TO LAUGH

0:42:51 > 0:42:54- That was...refreshing! <- Have a good evening now!

0:42:54 > 0:43:00We academics are inordinately fond of wedging ourselves into confined spaces.

0:43:00 > 0:43:02At Yale, students see how many of their number

0:43:02 > 0:43:05they can enclose in a telephone booth.

0:43:05 > 0:43:07At Harvard, a broom closet.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09I hope I didn't spill my tea.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12Well, what the hell is this?

0:43:13 > 0:43:16I guess it's just my way of sayin', er...

0:43:16 > 0:43:18HE SIGHS

0:43:18 > 0:43:21Well, goddamn it, Mr Gudge.

0:43:21 > 0:43:24Look here, I don't know what it's like walkin' in your shoes,

0:43:24 > 0:43:27you know, with you being a tight-ass an' all,

0:43:27 > 0:43:30and I'm pretty sure you don't know what it's like walkin' in my shoes.

0:43:30 > 0:43:33See, Mr Gudge, there's the custodian, right?

0:43:33 > 0:43:37And then there's the man inside the custodian.

0:43:37 > 0:43:39And that's the motherfucker we got a problem with.

0:43:39 > 0:43:42See, that man, he got needs, Mr Gudge,

0:43:42 > 0:43:45and, normally, those needs got to do with women with big asses.

0:43:45 > 0:43:49I guess my point bein' is, er, I realise I'm a bunkie junkie.

0:43:49 > 0:43:53But if you would've seen the kettle drums on this girl, Mr Gudge. Whoo!

0:43:53 > 0:43:57Well...we all human.

0:43:57 > 0:44:01This apology buys you a one-week probationary period.

0:44:01 > 0:44:03Thank you, Mr Gudge!

0:44:03 > 0:44:06Stay away from the customers, MacSam.

0:44:13 > 0:44:15CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY

0:44:15 > 0:44:19This drill bit's getting awfully hot.

0:44:19 > 0:44:22Gawain, maybe you could fill a Hudson sprayer

0:44:22 > 0:44:25and spritz it down while I drill.

0:44:25 > 0:44:26Fuck you!

0:44:26 > 0:44:30I ain't your motherfuckin' house nigger. I'm the inside man.

0:44:30 > 0:44:33Are you gonna have a bug up your ass the rest of the time we're working?

0:44:33 > 0:44:36- I'll get the sprayer. - No, no, no. No.

0:44:36 > 0:44:39Me and this gentleman here have to get square.

0:44:39 > 0:44:41Let me tell you something, MacSam.

0:44:41 > 0:44:44I'm gonna tell you about how I came down to Mississippi.

0:44:44 > 0:44:47I wasn't born here, you know. I'm from Scranton, Pennsylvania.

0:44:47 > 0:44:49RUMBLING

0:44:49 > 0:44:51What the fuck?

0:44:52 > 0:44:54Scranton, Pennsylvania.

0:44:54 > 0:44:57I came down here in 1964. Greyhound bus.

0:44:57 > 0:45:00With the Freedom Riders.

0:45:00 > 0:45:02Do you know who the Freedom Riders were?

0:45:02 > 0:45:04No. And I don't give a fuck.

0:45:04 > 0:45:06Just tell me when the fuck they gonna leave.

0:45:06 > 0:45:11The Freedom Riders were a group of concerned liberals from up north,

0:45:11 > 0:45:14all working together, just like we are here.

0:45:14 > 0:45:17Involved citizens, who came down here

0:45:17 > 0:45:20so that local black folk could have their civil liberties.

0:45:20 > 0:45:23So that people like you could have the vote.

0:45:25 > 0:45:28HE TUTS

0:45:28 > 0:45:29You know what, man?

0:45:29 > 0:45:32What, brother?

0:45:32 > 0:45:35- I don't vote. So fuck you! - You little fucking ingrate.

0:45:35 > 0:45:38- And the bus you rode in on, jackass! - Step outside!

0:45:38 > 0:45:41- Fuck the outside! Come on... - KNOCK AT DOOR

0:45:44 > 0:45:47My friend Mrs Funthes is here so I'm about to go out.

0:45:47 > 0:45:50Just thought I'd leave y'all with some cinnamon cookies.

0:45:50 > 0:45:53Why, that is lovely.

0:45:53 > 0:45:56Ooh, y'all sound good!

0:45:56 > 0:46:01Maybe you could come by to church one Sunday, give us a recital!

0:46:01 > 0:46:02How kind of you!

0:46:02 > 0:46:05- O-Our music, however, is... - There you go.

0:46:05 > 0:46:07..well, how shall I put this?

0:46:07 > 0:46:09A bit Roman in its outlook?!

0:46:09 > 0:46:12Many of our pieces were commissioned by the Holy See.

0:46:12 > 0:46:14Oh, I see, all right.

0:46:14 > 0:46:17But we don't make no big whoop-dee-do about denomination.

0:46:17 > 0:46:20Everybody welcome at our church!

0:46:20 > 0:46:24We had a Methodist come in, Episcopalian...

0:46:24 > 0:46:27And back in the '60s, we had a Jew come in!

0:46:27 > 0:46:29Yeah, he had a guitar.

0:46:29 > 0:46:31THE PROFESSOR CHUCKLES A Jew with a guitar!

0:46:31 > 0:46:35If you will excuse me one moment, madam, I-I shall see you out.

0:46:35 > 0:46:39If you gentlemen can labour harmoniously in my absence,

0:46:39 > 0:46:43upon my return we shall be prepared to explode that old piece of igneous.

0:46:45 > 0:46:49Oh, Professor! This is Mrs Funthes.

0:46:49 > 0:46:51Enchante, Mrs Funthes.

0:46:51 > 0:46:56Rosalie, this is Professor GH Dorr PhD.

0:46:56 > 0:46:59Oh, my! That's an awful lotta letters.

0:46:59 > 0:47:00HE CHUCKLES Well, now...

0:47:00 > 0:47:05Of course, in my youth, I was known simply as Goldthwait.

0:47:05 > 0:47:06Uh-huh!

0:47:06 > 0:47:08All right, safety meeting.

0:47:08 > 0:47:11Let's listen up. General, hand me that primer cord.

0:47:11 > 0:47:14Before we set the charge, we will run through our procedure.

0:47:14 > 0:47:18I have earplugs for whoever wants 'em. Just wedge those in your ears.

0:47:18 > 0:47:20Now, here we have...

0:47:20 > 0:47:21- ..Not yet, Lump.- Oh.

0:47:21 > 0:47:23Now, primer cord.

0:47:23 > 0:47:26Gelatinite. C4.

0:47:26 > 0:47:30Time comes, we pack the hole in the rock with the C4,

0:47:30 > 0:47:32and insert two leads -

0:47:32 > 0:47:34A and B.

0:47:34 > 0:47:36I remember my father saying to me,

0:47:36 > 0:47:39and it's one of the few memories I retain of the man,

0:47:39 > 0:47:42from one of his visits home, and how I do cherish it,

0:47:42 > 0:47:48he said to me, "Goldthwait, you are not formed as other boys."

0:47:49 > 0:47:51He a man of learnin'?

0:47:51 > 0:47:54This is the same procedure we will be using when we collapse the tunnel

0:47:54 > 0:47:58after entering the casino vault and returning to the root cellar.

0:47:58 > 0:48:02He was a self-educated man. Didn't have a career as such.

0:48:02 > 0:48:05But the government did recognise the breadth of his reading

0:48:05 > 0:48:09by making him librarian of the state nervous hospital in Meridian,

0:48:09 > 0:48:13where he was a distinguished... inmate.

0:48:13 > 0:48:16Once these materials are combined,

0:48:16 > 0:48:19only the professionals may handle them.

0:48:19 > 0:48:22- That means me or the General. - LUMP GRUNTS

0:48:22 > 0:48:25Separately, they are harmless. Completely inert.

0:48:25 > 0:48:29You could light this stuff on fire, hit it with a hamm...

0:48:29 > 0:48:31DEAFENING BOOM

0:48:31 > 0:48:34ALARM WAILS DOGS BARK

0:48:34 > 0:48:37What in the name of heaven was that?

0:48:38 > 0:48:42Well, I'm...quite certain there's absolutely no reason to be alarmed.

0:48:42 > 0:48:46Why, I-I'm not even absolutely certain I-I heard anything at all.

0:48:46 > 0:48:48Didn't hear nothin'?!

0:48:48 > 0:48:51Well, something. Perhaps.

0:48:51 > 0:48:54Nothing that need discompose us, was the sense I was trying to convey.

0:48:54 > 0:48:58Now, I will not have you missing your musical recital. Off you go!

0:48:58 > 0:49:01I shall call the gas company, or the water company,

0:49:01 > 0:49:06or whatever subterranean utility is implicated in this contretemps.

0:49:06 > 0:49:08I shall see to the matter,

0:49:08 > 0:49:12as only a highly educated classicist could.

0:49:16 > 0:49:19BANGING AND SHOUTING

0:49:19 > 0:49:23Blood! Blood, Professor! Blood! Blood!

0:49:23 > 0:49:26- THE GENERAL SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY <- It's nothing to make a fuss about.

0:49:26 > 0:49:29- It's perfectly all right. - Get yo ass back and find that shit!

0:49:29 > 0:49:31Really, I'm perfectly all right.

0:49:31 > 0:49:35Jackass, you just blew your goddamn finger off!

0:49:35 > 0:49:37The motherfucker down there, flappin' the fuck around!

0:49:37 > 0:49:39Get yo ass back down there and find it!

0:49:39 > 0:49:42I ain't picking up your goddamn finger!

0:49:42 > 0:49:44I gather there was a premature detonation?

0:49:44 > 0:49:46Tell the motherfucker he can sew the shit back on.

0:49:46 > 0:49:49Like that dude whose wife cut his dick off, threw it on the freeway.

0:49:49 > 0:49:52She called AAA, they towed the dick and sewed the motherfucker back on!

0:49:52 > 0:49:56- I saw the motherfucker in a porno. The thing still worked!- Yeah...

0:49:56 > 0:50:00Looked like a chewed-up frank, but that motherfucker be working it!

0:50:00 > 0:50:03It's mangled, but he be fucking the bitch all ways with a twisted dick!

0:50:03 > 0:50:05SHOUTING CONTINUES

0:50:10 > 0:50:13They're using the house to practise music.

0:50:13 > 0:50:16- Of the Rococo. - Mmm-hmm.

0:50:16 > 0:50:20I propose we get our fallen comrade to the hospital.

0:50:20 > 0:50:24The General will follow when he manages to recover the severed digit.

0:50:24 > 0:50:26No, really, I'm perfectly all right.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29I don't know what all the fuss is about.

0:50:29 > 0:50:31Good news! Good news!

0:50:31 > 0:50:33Pickles! Go catch him!

0:50:33 > 0:50:38The house is in apple pie order, though we do need medical attention for Mr Pancake

0:50:38 > 0:50:42who, in the disturbance, pinched his finger in the valve of his sackbut.

0:50:42 > 0:50:44You let the cat out!

0:50:44 > 0:50:48The General is even now exercising every effort

0:50:48 > 0:50:50in retrieving your mischievous little Pickles.

0:50:50 > 0:50:52Please, go on. Go on and enjoy the concert!

0:50:52 > 0:50:55Driver! Au revoir, mesdames. CAT HISSES

0:51:07 > 0:51:10Despite our setback, we find ourselves on schedule

0:51:10 > 0:51:13to penetrate the vault here this afternoon,

0:51:13 > 0:51:15while Mrs Munson is at church,

0:51:15 > 0:51:19having blasted that rock to pieces during Mrs Munson's choir practice.

0:51:19 > 0:51:23Garth, run us through the game plan for what remains of our tunnel.

0:51:23 > 0:51:25Of course. Why, it's child's play now.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27Easiest thing in the world.

0:51:27 > 0:51:30Only a couple of feet separate us from the vault.

0:51:30 > 0:51:33Just the usual spade work until we get to the masonry,

0:51:33 > 0:51:35and then we just drill through.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38And will you be able to... wield the drill

0:51:38 > 0:51:40with your maimed extremity?

0:51:40 > 0:51:43Oh, I should think so. It's, er, it's only one finger.

0:51:43 > 0:51:46It inhibits me in doing finer work, of course.

0:51:46 > 0:51:50- I'll always have to live with that. - HE SIGHS

0:51:50 > 0:51:53- CLEARS THROAT - I'm just thinking out loud here,

0:51:53 > 0:51:57maybe since, as you say, there will be problems later...

0:51:57 > 0:52:00maybe, er, I mentioned this to Mountain Girl,

0:52:00 > 0:52:03she agrees with me, so it's not one person's opinion,

0:52:03 > 0:52:06maybe, er...I should...

0:52:06 > 0:52:10get a little extra compensation for the accident.

0:52:14 > 0:52:16A somewhat larger share.

0:52:18 > 0:52:22If this was any other line of work, I'd get workman's comp, wouldn't I?

0:52:22 > 0:52:24Might even have a pretty good lawsuit.

0:52:24 > 0:52:28You gonna sue yourself for blowin' your own goddamn finger off?

0:52:28 > 0:52:29Well, that is simply asinine!

0:52:29 > 0:52:32But you see, Garth, this is not what you just called

0:52:32 > 0:52:35- "some other line of work". - No, but if it were...

0:52:35 > 0:52:38This is a criminal enterprise, not to put too fine a point on it,

0:52:38 > 0:52:40entailing risk not involved in honest labour.

0:52:40 > 0:52:43Governmental regulations and civic safeguards

0:52:43 > 0:52:46cannot be assumed to apply to antisocial pursuits.

0:52:46 > 0:52:49Yeah, but he lost his finger.

0:52:49 > 0:52:50We don't give a fuck!

0:52:50 > 0:52:53That fool could blow his dick off, it don't make no never mind to us!

0:52:53 > 0:52:56Pay this jackass for blowing off goddamn body parts?

0:52:56 > 0:52:58Get yo fuckin' head out your ass!

0:52:58 > 0:53:00ALL BICKER AT ONCE

0:53:00 > 0:53:01No extra share!

0:53:01 > 0:53:04BICKERING CEASES

0:53:05 > 0:53:07OK. Majority rules.

0:53:08 > 0:53:09It was just a trial balloon.

0:53:09 > 0:53:13The hand's not so bad, really. I even get some phantom feeling.

0:53:13 > 0:53:15You pull on your prick, you get phantom feeling!

0:53:15 > 0:53:16- Fuck you!- Fuck you. - Fuck you!

0:53:16 > 0:53:18Fuck you, nubbie!

0:53:18 > 0:53:20Well, now that matter is settled,

0:53:20 > 0:53:23let us synchronise our watches before Gawain reports to work.

0:53:23 > 0:53:26In 20 seconds, it will be exactly 12.16.

0:53:26 > 0:53:2815...

0:53:28 > 0:53:30It'll be 12.15?

0:53:30 > 0:53:34No, 15 seconds. Well, 11 seconds now. It'll be... 12.16.

0:53:34 > 0:53:36HE SIGHS Eight...

0:53:36 > 0:53:39- Professor?- Seven...six... - P-Professor?

0:53:39 > 0:53:41- Five...- Prof... - Yes, Lump?!

0:53:41 > 0:53:43I don't have a watch.

0:53:45 > 0:53:50# There'll be no more weepin' and wailin'

0:53:50 > 0:53:54# No more weepin' and wailin'

0:53:54 > 0:53:56# No more...

0:53:56 > 0:53:58# Weepin' and wailin'

0:53:58 > 0:54:01# Goin' to live with God

0:54:02 > 0:54:05# Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world

0:54:05 > 0:54:09- # Troubles of this world - # Troubles of this world

0:54:09 > 0:54:13# Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world

0:54:13 > 0:54:16# I'm goin' home to live with God

0:54:17 > 0:54:20# Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world

0:54:20 > 0:54:23# Troubles of this world

0:54:23 > 0:54:25# Troubles of this life

0:54:25 > 0:54:29# Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world

0:54:29 > 0:54:32# I'm goin' home to live with God

0:54:33 > 0:54:37# Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world

0:54:37 > 0:54:41- # Troubles of this world - Troubles of this crazy life

0:54:41 > 0:54:44# Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world

0:54:44 > 0:54:48# I'm goin' up to be with God

0:54:48 > 0:54:52# I'm going up to see King Jesus

0:54:52 > 0:54:55# Shake Him by the hand

0:54:55 > 0:54:58# I'm gonna tell Him all about my troubles

0:54:58 > 0:55:03# Travellin' through this land

0:55:04 > 0:55:06# Soon I will be done

0:55:06 > 0:55:10# With the troubles of this world

0:55:11 > 0:55:14# Yeah, soon I will be done

0:55:15 > 0:55:17# I'm goin' home to live with God

0:55:18 > 0:55:23# Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world

0:55:23 > 0:55:27# Troubles of this world Troubles of this crazy life

0:55:27 > 0:55:30# I soon will be done with the trouble, yeah

0:55:30 > 0:55:36# I'm goin' home to live with God! #

0:55:39 > 0:55:42- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - HE LAUGHS

0:55:42 > 0:55:45Ain't that somethin'?

0:55:50 > 0:55:52HE GROANS

0:55:52 > 0:55:55RUMBLING AND GRUMBLING

0:55:55 > 0:55:56IBS!

0:55:56 > 0:55:59You be what?

0:55:59 > 0:56:00Irritable bowel syndrome!

0:56:00 > 0:56:02Is there a men's room?

0:56:02 > 0:56:04You can't use the men's room now!

0:56:04 > 0:56:06Or a ladies' room. Quickly. IBS.

0:56:06 > 0:56:09- Why didn't you shit at the house! - Quickly!

0:56:09 > 0:56:12We don't want Elron finding yo ass on the crapper!

0:56:12 > 0:56:15No choice! It's a medical condition. Quickly!

0:56:15 > 0:56:18You are one disgustin' individual, you know that?

0:56:18 > 0:56:19Come on! Follow me.

0:56:21 > 0:56:23TOILET FLUSHES

0:56:25 > 0:56:27Ahhh...

0:56:28 > 0:56:30- I feel 30lbs lighter. - Come on with your stink ass.

0:56:30 > 0:56:33Thank you for being so understanding.

0:56:33 > 0:56:36Not everyone is, of course, which is why the biggest challenge of IBS

0:56:36 > 0:56:39is educating the public.

0:56:39 > 0:56:43Afflicts over two million people, yet most have never heard of it.

0:56:43 > 0:56:46It strikes without regard to age, gender or race.

0:56:46 > 0:56:49Fuck, man! I don't wanna hear about this shit.

0:56:49 > 0:56:51That's exactly the kind of attitude we're fighting.

0:56:51 > 0:56:54I never told you that's how Mountain Girl and I met -

0:56:54 > 0:56:58- at an IBS weekend at Grossinger's, up in the Catskills. - HE FARTS

0:56:58 > 0:57:02Course, tourism there has suffered, with the demise of the Borscht Belt,

0:57:02 > 0:57:06so they have various promotions, mixers, so on.

0:57:06 > 0:57:09This was a weekend for irritable bowel singles

0:57:09 > 0:57:12to meet, support each other and share stories.

0:57:12 > 0:57:14I don't wanna hear a single one of them stories.

0:57:14 > 0:57:17- Now, some of them are very moving... - Not one fuckin' story!

0:57:17 > 0:57:19Look, I didn't choose to have IBS.

0:57:19 > 0:57:22Man, shut...the fuck...up!

0:57:22 > 0:57:26There's no cure, you know. Only control. Lifelong condition.

0:57:26 > 0:57:29Being an asshole's a lifelong condition, too.

0:57:29 > 0:57:31Just drop the fuckin' tools.

0:57:31 > 0:57:33I'm not complaining. I did meet Mountain Girl.

0:57:33 > 0:57:35Get in the fuckin' hole!

0:57:36 > 0:57:38Oh! HE LAUGHS BREATHLESSLY

0:57:38 > 0:57:41Marvellous. Marvellous! This way, gentlemen!

0:57:41 > 0:57:44Oh, excellent! Excellent.

0:57:44 > 0:57:46Flawless. Flawless. Thumbs up.

0:57:50 > 0:57:52Can't stop shitting.

0:57:52 > 0:57:54Can't stop talkin' about shitting.

0:57:58 > 0:58:00Gentlemen, to we few,

0:58:00 > 0:58:03we who have shared each other's company,

0:58:03 > 0:58:05each other's cares, each other's joys,

0:58:05 > 0:58:09and who shall reap the fruits of our communal efforts shoulder to shoulder

0:58:09 > 0:58:12from each according to his abilities, so forth and whatnot,

0:58:12 > 0:58:14we have had our little differences along the way,

0:58:14 > 0:58:19but I'd like to think they only made us value one another all the more,

0:58:19 > 0:58:23each of us coming to appreciate the other's qualities and potencies,

0:58:23 > 0:58:25and, mmn, yes...

0:58:25 > 0:58:27foibles.

0:58:27 > 0:58:32I suggest that we shall look back upon this little caper one day,

0:58:32 > 0:58:34one distant day,

0:58:34 > 0:58:38aah... grandchildren dandled upon our knee,

0:58:38 > 0:58:42and perhaps a tear will form,

0:58:42 > 0:58:46and we shall say, "Well...with wit and grit

0:58:46 > 0:58:48"and no small amount of courage,

0:58:48 > 0:58:53"we accomplished something on that day."

0:58:53 > 0:58:58"A feat of derring-do, an enterprise not ignoble."

0:58:58 > 0:59:00We merry band,

0:59:00 > 0:59:03unbound by the constraints of society

0:59:03 > 0:59:07and the prejudices of the common ruck.

0:59:07 > 0:59:09HE INHALES DEEPLY We happy few.

0:59:10 > 0:59:12HE SNORTS EMOTIONALLY Gentlemen, to us!

0:59:12 > 0:59:14ALL: To us!

0:59:16 > 0:59:17LAUGHTER

0:59:17 > 0:59:19HE SNORTS

0:59:19 > 0:59:22LAUGHTER FADES

0:59:22 > 0:59:24The charge should've gone off already.

0:59:24 > 0:59:26Ah! I do beg your pardon?

0:59:26 > 0:59:30The charge to collapse the tunnel. I set it for eight minutes.

0:59:30 > 0:59:32Well, that much time and...

0:59:32 > 0:59:34more has certainly elapsed.

0:59:37 > 0:59:41I need not remind you, it is of the essence of this plan

0:59:41 > 0:59:43that the money should appear to have vanished,

0:59:43 > 0:59:46- spirited away, as it were, by ghosts. - Of course.

0:59:46 > 0:59:48The conundrum of the undisturbed yet empty vault.

0:59:48 > 0:59:51The riddle of the sealed yet violated sanctum

0:59:51 > 0:59:52is of the utmost importance,

0:59:52 > 0:59:56not only to make our caper more intellectually satisfying,

0:59:56 > 0:59:58it is exigent as a matter of practical fact.

0:59:58 > 1:00:02I remind you that if any tunnel is ever found

1:00:02 > 1:00:04leading to this house...

1:00:05 > 1:00:07..the owner knows...

1:00:07 > 1:00:09all your names.

1:00:23 > 1:00:26HIP-HOP BEAT HEARD FAINTLY

1:00:35 > 1:00:37GROWLING AND RUMBLING

1:00:37 > 1:00:39GROANS

1:00:39 > 1:00:41MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY

1:00:44 > 1:00:47HE BREATHES LABOUREDLY

1:00:53 > 1:00:55HIGH-PITCHED BEEPING

1:00:55 > 1:00:58BEEPS MONOTONOUSLY

1:01:22 > 1:01:25LOW-PITCHED RUMBLING

1:01:42 > 1:01:45You just fart?

1:01:45 > 1:01:47- HE CHUCKLES - No!

1:01:47 > 1:01:50HE LAUGHS WEAKLY

1:01:57 > 1:01:59No, no, I'm fine.

1:01:59 > 1:02:01Perfectly all right. Not a problem.

1:02:01 > 1:02:04There's no hole left!

1:02:04 > 1:02:06Professor!

1:02:07 > 1:02:09I'm surprised!

1:02:09 > 1:02:13Well, er, properly speaking, madam,

1:02:13 > 1:02:15we are surprised, you are...

1:02:15 > 1:02:17taken aback. HE CHUCKLES

1:02:17 > 1:02:20I do acknowledge that the sense that you intend

1:02:20 > 1:02:24is gaining increasing currency through its use, yes.

1:02:24 > 1:02:28You have returned from your devotions betimes.

1:02:28 > 1:02:29I had to make tea.

1:02:29 > 1:02:33I want to talk to you, Professor, so don't you be leavin'!

1:02:33 > 1:02:35And you!

1:02:35 > 1:02:39I told you I don't want any smokin' in this house!

1:02:39 > 1:02:41DOORBELL RINGS

1:02:48 > 1:02:52ALL GREET ENTHUSIASTICALLY

1:02:57 > 1:02:59EXCITABLE VOICES DRIFT DOWN

1:03:05 > 1:03:08Tea ladies.

1:03:12 > 1:03:14DOOR OPENS

1:03:19 > 1:03:21I don't know what you boys been up to,

1:03:21 > 1:03:24but I know mischief when I see it.

1:03:24 > 1:03:26I want an explanation, but first,

1:03:26 > 1:03:29get your fannies up here with your instruments.

1:03:29 > 1:03:31I been telling the ladies about your music

1:03:31 > 1:03:34and they wanna hear you play.

1:03:48 > 1:03:50Professor?

1:03:50 > 1:03:52Yes, Lump?

1:03:52 > 1:03:56I can't really play the buttsack.

1:03:57 > 1:03:59CHATTER CEASES

1:03:59 > 1:04:03Madam, or, rather, mesdames,

1:04:03 > 1:04:06accept our apologies for not being able to perform,

1:04:06 > 1:04:08for, as you see, we are short-handed.

1:04:08 > 1:04:10Gawain is still at work,

1:04:10 > 1:04:13and we could no more play with one part tacit

1:04:13 > 1:04:17than a horse could canter shy one leg.

1:04:20 > 1:04:23Perhaps I could offer,

1:04:23 > 1:04:26as a poor but ready substitute,

1:04:26 > 1:04:29a brief poetic recital.

1:04:29 > 1:04:34Though I do not pretend to any great oratorical skills...

1:04:34 > 1:04:37HE CHUCKLES BREATHLESSLY ..I would be happy to present,

1:04:37 > 1:04:40with your ladies' permission,

1:04:40 > 1:04:42verse from the unquiet mind

1:04:42 > 1:04:45of Mr Edgar Allan Poe.

1:04:51 > 1:04:54Ladies...

1:04:54 > 1:04:57Thy beauty is to me...

1:04:57 > 1:05:01Like those Nicean barks of yore

1:05:01 > 1:05:05That gently, o'er a perfumed sea

1:05:05 > 1:05:09The weary, way-worn wanderer bore

1:05:09 > 1:05:12To his own native shore.

1:05:12 > 1:05:14ALL MURMUR: Ah!

1:05:14 > 1:05:15My, my, my...

1:05:15 > 1:05:18On desperate seas

1:05:18 > 1:05:21Long wont to roam

1:05:21 > 1:05:24Thy hyacinth hair

1:05:24 > 1:05:27Thy classic face

1:05:27 > 1:05:31Thy Naiad airs have brought me home

1:05:31 > 1:05:34To the glory that was Greece

1:05:34 > 1:05:38And the grandeur...that was Rome.

1:05:38 > 1:05:41- Glory Hallelujah. - ALL MURMUR: Amen. Glory.

1:05:41 > 1:05:44FRONT DOOR OPENS ALL CONTINUE TO MURMUR

1:05:44 > 1:05:47MURMURS SLOWLY CEASE

1:05:48 > 1:05:49Huh?

1:05:49 > 1:05:52Bye-bye, ladies. It was my pleasure.

1:05:52 > 1:05:54ALL CHATTER AT ONCE

1:05:54 > 1:05:57Thank you, ma'am. Such a pleasure.

1:05:57 > 1:06:00Safe home. Safe home. LADIES CHUCKLE

1:06:00 > 1:06:03- Now I wanna know what's goin' on. - Oh, indeed! Indeed!

1:06:03 > 1:06:06The thirst for knowledge is a very commendable thing.

1:06:06 > 1:06:10Though, I do believe when you hear the explanation,

1:06:10 > 1:06:13you shall laugh riotously, slapping your knee,

1:06:13 > 1:06:16and perhaps even wiping away a giddy tear,

1:06:16 > 1:06:19relieved of your former concern.

1:06:19 > 1:06:22Lump here is an avid collector of Indian arrowheads,

1:06:22 > 1:06:26and, having found one simply lying on your cellar floor,

1:06:26 > 1:06:28a particularly rare artefact

1:06:28 > 1:06:30- of the Natchez tribe... - W-What?

1:06:30 > 1:06:32..he enlisted the ensemble in an all-out effort

1:06:32 > 1:06:36to sift through the subsoil in search of others.

1:06:36 > 1:06:39Apparently, in doing so, we hit a mother lode of natural gas.

1:06:39 > 1:06:43I became acutely aware of the smell of "rotten eggs".

1:06:43 > 1:06:48And it was just at this inopportune moment that the General

1:06:48 > 1:06:50violated the cardinal rule of this house

1:06:50 > 1:06:54and lit himself...a cigarette.

1:06:54 > 1:06:56So sorry.

1:06:58 > 1:07:01Well, what about all that money?

1:07:01 > 1:07:03Ah...

1:07:03 > 1:07:05the money.

1:07:05 > 1:07:07Well, the money is Mr Pancake's.

1:07:07 > 1:07:11- That's right. - Who only just remortgaged his home

1:07:11 > 1:07:14in order to raise the money for a surgical procedure

1:07:14 > 1:07:17to correct the wandering eye of his common-law wife, Mountain Water,

1:07:17 > 1:07:22who suffers from astigmia strabismus and a general...

1:07:22 > 1:07:25..curdling of the...vitreous jelly.

1:07:25 > 1:07:28Mr Pancake is an ardent foe... HE CHUCKLES

1:07:28 > 1:07:30..of the Federal Reserve,

1:07:30 > 1:07:33and is one of those eccentrics one reads about

1:07:33 > 1:07:36hoarding his entire life savings, in Mr Pancake's case,

1:07:36 > 1:07:40in a Hefty bag that is his constant companion.

1:07:41 > 1:07:44A steel sack.

1:07:44 > 1:07:47Don't trust the banks. Never have.

1:07:54 > 1:07:58Uh-uh. Don't smell right to me. I'm calling Sheriff Wyner.

1:07:58 > 1:08:01Madam! Madam, please!

1:08:01 > 1:08:03Madam, no, no, I beg of y...

1:08:03 > 1:08:05Yes! Yes! It is a lie!

1:08:05 > 1:08:08It is a fantastic tale! You have us dead to rights.

1:08:08 > 1:08:12But, madam, please, allow me to tell you the truth.

1:08:12 > 1:08:14In private.

1:08:17 > 1:08:19Madam...

1:08:22 > 1:08:25Madam, we are not musicians...

1:08:25 > 1:08:28..of the late Renaissance.

1:08:28 > 1:08:31- Nor of the early, nor mid period. - Mmn-hmm.

1:08:31 > 1:08:34We are, in fact...

1:08:36 > 1:08:38..criminals.

1:08:38 > 1:08:40Desperate men, Mrs Munson.

1:08:40 > 1:08:43We have... HE INHALES DEEPLY

1:08:43 > 1:08:48..tunnelled into the nearby offices of the Bandit Queen gambling emporium

1:08:48 > 1:08:51and relieved it of its treasure.

1:08:51 > 1:08:53- Lord have mercy! - It is true.

1:08:53 > 1:08:56The Bandit Queen is a den of iniquity,

1:08:56 > 1:08:59a painted harlot, luring people into sin

1:08:59 > 1:09:03by exciting the vice of greed with her promise of easy winnings.

1:09:03 > 1:09:06Her gains are ill-gotten.

1:09:06 > 1:09:09But... HE SIGHS

1:09:09 > 1:09:11I offer no excuses...

1:09:11 > 1:09:14save one.

1:09:14 > 1:09:18We men have each pledged one half of our share of the booty

1:09:18 > 1:09:20to a charitable institution.

1:09:20 > 1:09:23In compensation for use of your home,

1:09:23 > 1:09:26we had planned to donate a full share

1:09:26 > 1:09:29to Bob Jones University,

1:09:29 > 1:09:34without burdening you with guilty knowledge by informing you.

1:09:34 > 1:09:36But now you have wrested the information from me.

1:09:36 > 1:09:38HE CHUCKLES BREATHLESSLY There you have it!

1:09:38 > 1:09:41It is on your table, Mrs Munson.

1:09:41 > 1:09:44The "awful truth".

1:09:44 > 1:09:46Stolen money.

1:09:46 > 1:09:51But find the victim, Mrs Munson. I challenge you.

1:09:51 > 1:09:53Even the casino itself, that riparian Gomorrah,

1:09:53 > 1:09:55shall suffer no harm.

1:09:55 > 1:09:58It has an insurance company -

1:09:58 > 1:10:00a financial behemoth

1:10:00 > 1:10:04that will cheerfully replenish its depleted vaults.

1:10:04 > 1:10:05That is its function!

1:10:05 > 1:10:10That insurance company has tens and tens of thousands of policy holders.

1:10:10 > 1:10:12We have done the calculations,

1:10:12 > 1:10:16so that at the end of the day, at the final reckoning,

1:10:16 > 1:10:21each one of those policy holders shall have contributed one penny,

1:10:21 > 1:10:24one single, solitary cent,

1:10:24 > 1:10:27to the satisfaction of this claim.

1:10:27 > 1:10:29- One penny? - One penny.

1:10:29 > 1:10:31Think of it, Mrs Munson,

1:10:31 > 1:10:35one penny from those thousands upon thousands of people,

1:10:35 > 1:10:38so that Bob Jones University

1:10:38 > 1:10:42can continue on its mission.

1:10:42 > 1:10:44I have no doubt that were those policy holders made aware

1:10:44 > 1:10:46of the existence of that august institution,

1:10:46 > 1:10:50each and every one would have volunteered some token amount

1:10:50 > 1:10:52for the furtherance of its aims.

1:10:52 > 1:10:54Well, that's probably true!

1:10:54 > 1:10:56Sadly...

1:10:56 > 1:11:00the criminal stain is upon my soul.

1:11:00 > 1:11:05But the benefit shall accrue to any number of worthy causes,

1:11:05 > 1:11:07as long, that is, as the secret...

1:11:07 > 1:11:10stays with us.

1:11:13 > 1:11:16- Well... - SHE BREATHES DEEPLY

1:11:16 > 1:11:20I can't hardly see the harm in it.

1:11:21 > 1:11:22One penny?

1:11:34 > 1:11:36- I'm sorry. - Excuse me?

1:11:36 > 1:11:38I'm sorry, it's wrong.

1:11:38 > 1:11:40- Don't be leadin' me into temptation. - Madam...

1:11:40 > 1:11:42I'm sorry. It's just plain wrong.

1:11:42 > 1:11:44- Stealing. - Madam...

1:11:44 > 1:11:46- I know your intentions was good. - They weren't!

1:11:46 > 1:11:49I won't call the police if you return the money

1:11:49 > 1:11:51and y'all go to church on Sunday.

1:11:51 > 1:11:54And engage in divine worship?!

1:11:56 > 1:11:58I've made up my mind.

1:11:58 > 1:12:01You can double talk all you want.

1:12:01 > 1:12:05It's church or the county jail. Think it over.

1:12:05 > 1:12:08I gotta feed the cat.

1:12:16 > 1:12:19HE PLUCKS DESPONDENTLY

1:12:24 > 1:12:26Motherfuck!

1:12:26 > 1:12:31Yes. Unfortunately, Mrs Munson has rather complicated the situation.

1:12:31 > 1:12:33I know how to decomplicate it.

1:12:33 > 1:12:36Bust a cap in the old bitch's head. Simple.

1:12:41 > 1:12:43Not easy to do.

1:12:43 > 1:12:46For many reasons. Practical ones.

1:12:46 > 1:12:50Quiet neighbourhood. Sleepy town. Reasons of moral repugnance.

1:12:50 > 1:12:54A harmless woman, a deed conceived and executed in cold blood.

1:12:54 > 1:12:58No, no, Gawain. Would that it were simple.

1:12:58 > 1:13:01Fuck! We gonna give the money back and go to church?

1:13:01 > 1:13:06PLUCKS OFF-KEY I shudder and I quake.

1:13:06 > 1:13:09You, sir, are a Buddhist.

1:13:09 > 1:13:11Is there not a "middle way"?

1:13:11 > 1:13:14GRUNTS CONTEMPLATIVELY

1:13:16 > 1:13:20Must float like a leaf on the river of life...

1:13:22 > 1:13:24..and kill old lady.

1:13:26 > 1:13:30Yes, yes, I suppose you are right.

1:13:30 > 1:13:33It is the active nature of the crime, though, that so abhors -

1:13:33 > 1:13:38the squeezing of the trigger, the plunging of the knife, it...

1:13:38 > 1:13:41But...let us think a moment.

1:13:41 > 1:13:44What other tools do we have at hand?

1:13:44 > 1:13:46We have the cellar.

1:13:46 > 1:13:48We have the cavity.

1:13:48 > 1:13:53We have masonry and trowel.

1:13:53 > 1:13:57Perhaps we could simply...

1:13:57 > 1:14:00- immure her. - Sure. Easiest thing in the world!

1:14:00 > 1:14:03I can whip up some mortar in a snow saucer,

1:14:03 > 1:14:07lay the bricks, anchor in chains. Mountain can outsource the manacles.

1:14:07 > 1:14:10Ah, gentlemen, we delude ourselves.

1:14:10 > 1:14:14No, shortest and painless is best.

1:14:14 > 1:14:17Gawain's gun,

1:14:17 > 1:14:20retort muffled by a pillow,

1:14:20 > 1:14:21into the brain.

1:14:21 > 1:14:24HE CLAPS The affair of an instant.

1:14:24 > 1:14:26The only question is,

1:14:26 > 1:14:29who wields the weapon?

1:14:29 > 1:14:33I believe it is traditional in such circumstances to...

1:14:33 > 1:14:36- draw straws. - Fair enough.

1:14:36 > 1:14:37Here you go, Lump.

1:14:38 > 1:14:42I'm thinking, though, that, er... since I lost a finger,

1:14:42 > 1:14:46and I mean literally lost it, cos of that fucking cat,

1:14:46 > 1:14:49maybe I should be excused from this thing.

1:14:49 > 1:14:51Hard for me to squeeze a trigger, anyway.

1:14:51 > 1:14:53You one whiny motherfucker.

1:14:53 > 1:14:56I'll squeeze your fuckin' nutsack, you keep that bullshit up.

1:14:56 > 1:14:59- Shut up, punk! - I'll kick your goddamn ass!

1:14:59 > 1:15:02Gentlemen! No special pleading. No exceptions.

1:15:02 > 1:15:06It is of the nature of the situation we would all prefer to be excused.

1:15:07 > 1:15:09Well, OK. It was just a trial balloon.

1:15:30 > 1:15:31Er...

1:15:34 > 1:15:36HE WHIMPERS

1:15:36 > 1:15:38HE SIGHS HARD

1:15:46 > 1:15:49Long straw. You all see it.

1:15:49 > 1:15:52- All that fuss for nothing, punk. - Fuck you!

1:16:05 > 1:16:07Motherfuck!

1:16:07 > 1:16:10# Lord, I'm in trouble

1:16:10 > 1:16:13# Lord, I'm in trouble

1:16:13 > 1:16:18# Lord, I'm in trouble all about my soul

1:16:18 > 1:16:21# My Lord, but

1:16:21 > 1:16:27# When I get up in the kingdom, Lord

1:16:27 > 1:16:30# I won't be in trouble no more

1:16:30 > 1:16:34# Oh, Lord, I'm in trouble

1:16:34 > 1:16:37# Lord, I'm in trouble

1:16:37 > 1:16:39# Lord, I'm in trouble. #

1:16:39 > 1:16:42TV: 'Would you like a hot cross bun?

1:16:42 > 1:16:46- 'No! Just an explanation. - Coming up...

1:16:46 > 1:16:50'Hi, George. What's going on?

1:16:50 > 1:16:53'George! How did they get in here?!'

1:16:53 > 1:16:55CANNED LAUGHTER

1:16:57 > 1:16:59What you got there, Gawain?

1:16:59 > 1:17:03- Why, nothin', Mamma... - Nothin', my ass!

1:17:03 > 1:17:05- You got a dog there! - No, Mamma!

1:17:05 > 1:17:08A filthy, noisy, little pest of a puppy dog

1:17:08 > 1:17:10gonna shit all over the house!

1:17:10 > 1:17:13He won't shit in the house! I'll train him!

1:17:13 > 1:17:16- I'll train him real good. - I'm gonna train you real good!

1:17:16 > 1:17:20Wait till your daddy get home! He gonna lay into you proper!

1:17:20 > 1:17:22No, Mamma! Please, Mamma! I love you!

1:17:22 > 1:17:24Daddy gonna kick your ass!

1:17:24 > 1:17:27Mamma's whuppin' Gawain's ass!

1:17:27 > 1:17:29Ain't you gonna use the strap?

1:17:29 > 1:17:33I love you, Mamma.... I'm sorry, Mamma. I love you.

1:17:33 > 1:17:37I swear I'll wash the dog's ass an' everythin', Mamma.

1:17:37 > 1:17:40- HE WEEPS - I'll train him to shit in the toilet, Mamma!

1:17:40 > 1:17:43I'll wipe his ass an' everythin'...

1:17:43 > 1:17:44What you doin'?

1:17:44 > 1:17:47What you doin' with my pillow?

1:17:47 > 1:17:49Nothing, ma'am. I just came down to...

1:17:49 > 1:17:51- I'm displeased with you! - But...

1:17:51 > 1:17:52Fine coloured boy like you,

1:17:52 > 1:17:55falling in with that trash downstairs!

1:17:55 > 1:17:59Now, I know your mamma taught you better than that!

1:18:02 > 1:18:06I can't do it. She reminded me of my mamma.

1:18:06 > 1:18:09- Look, man... - Why, this is most irregular.

1:18:09 > 1:18:11You motherfuckers draw straws again.

1:18:11 > 1:18:16Accept your responsibilities, young man, and shoot that old lady.

1:18:16 > 1:18:18Fuck you and your irritated bowel!

1:18:18 > 1:18:21- Must shoot. - Easiest thing in the world.

1:18:21 > 1:18:25Just pretend her head's a melon, and the gun is a melon baller...

1:18:25 > 1:18:27What the fuck are you talking about? A melon baller?

1:18:27 > 1:18:30- Look, man, you do it. - This is most irregular.

1:18:30 > 1:18:34Now, look, with equal rights comes equal responsibility.

1:18:34 > 1:18:37Mr Pancake is correct. We cannot draw straws again.

1:18:37 > 1:18:41The exercise loses all credibility if the loser can simply beg off.

1:18:41 > 1:18:43Must shoot.

1:18:44 > 1:18:46Hey, look, man,

1:18:46 > 1:18:49she's just an old coloured lady to you. Come on, man. You do it.

1:18:49 > 1:18:53Why, you snivelling little coward.

1:18:53 > 1:18:55- What did you say to me? - Snivelling little coward.

1:18:55 > 1:18:57Whiny motherfucker.

1:18:57 > 1:19:00I'll come up your irritated asshole with this gun

1:19:00 > 1:19:02and give you a lead colonic!

1:19:02 > 1:19:04Think you scare me, you mewling punk?

1:19:04 > 1:19:08You don't scare me. Bull Connor and all his dogs didn't scare me!

1:19:08 > 1:19:10Now, be a man.

1:19:10 > 1:19:14You fuck! You ain't no fuckin' man!

1:19:14 > 1:19:16- Why, this is most... - Be a man!

1:19:16 > 1:19:19You ain't no fuckin' man! Fuckin' a 60-year-old with pigtails!

1:19:19 > 1:19:23You bastard punk! Mountain Girl is 53!

1:19:23 > 1:19:26- She could ride your ass to jelly! - Oh, yeah?!

1:19:27 > 1:19:30- Gentlemen! - I'd rather stick my dick in a ham!

1:19:30 > 1:19:32GUNSHOT

1:19:38 > 1:19:39Oh, my God.

1:19:39 > 1:19:41Oh, no!

1:19:41 > 1:19:43Oh, my.

1:19:43 > 1:19:46I think he's hit.

1:19:46 > 1:19:49Oh, no...

1:19:51 > 1:19:54I'll just check the carotid artery.

1:19:58 > 1:20:00That's a negative.

1:20:00 > 1:20:01Is he dead, Professor?

1:20:01 > 1:20:04Sure he's dead, Lump. I checked his carotid artery.

1:20:04 > 1:20:07Well, this is most irregular.

1:20:07 > 1:20:10We shall need a Hefty bag.

1:20:11 > 1:20:13GOSPEL MUSIC PLAYS

1:20:18 > 1:20:20She's in the kitchen.

1:20:20 > 1:20:22You steal out with the carcass

1:20:22 > 1:20:24while I dazzle her with conversation.

1:20:29 > 1:20:32My dear Mrs Munson,

1:20:32 > 1:20:36I have outlined your position with my colleagues,

1:20:36 > 1:20:40and I now return to you to render our collective verdict.

1:20:40 > 1:20:42- Uh-huh. - There was much spirited discussion

1:20:42 > 1:20:45in an atmosphere of frank give and take.

1:20:45 > 1:20:49Some were appalled at the idea of returning the money.

1:20:49 > 1:20:51Some were more receptive.

1:20:51 > 1:20:53I don't care if they was receptive or not!

1:20:53 > 1:20:56And that attitude, madam, was a factor in our discussions.

1:20:56 > 1:21:00I must say, they were devastated at the prospect

1:21:00 > 1:21:02of not being able to contribute to the respective charities.

1:21:02 > 1:21:04Well, that is a shame.

1:21:04 > 1:21:08Indeed. But at the end of the day, your position prevailed.

1:21:08 > 1:21:12So we have decided to return the money, every last cent,

1:21:12 > 1:21:14and attend Sunday services,

1:21:14 > 1:21:16rather than spend the rest of our days

1:21:16 > 1:21:19in the Mississippi Mens' Correctional facility.

1:21:19 > 1:21:22Though that was the original preference of some.

1:21:42 > 1:21:45FOGHORN BLOWS

1:22:00 > 1:22:03You are not assisting with the cadaver.

1:22:03 > 1:22:05- Oh, no need. - HE FARTS

1:22:05 > 1:22:07Just chucked it off the bridge. Easiest thing in the world.

1:22:07 > 1:22:09I'm just cleaning up here.

1:22:09 > 1:22:13- DOOR BANGS - Oh, that's them. Back already.

1:22:13 > 1:22:16I'll just go dump these in the hearse.

1:22:16 > 1:22:19Yeah. Easiest thing in the world.

1:22:35 > 1:22:37General!

1:22:37 > 1:22:40No extra share, huh?

1:22:45 > 1:22:47HE GRUNTS UNCOMFORTABLY

1:22:50 > 1:22:52HE SNORTS

1:23:02 > 1:23:04- Mountain? - Garth?

1:23:04 > 1:23:07HE SNORTS GUTTURALLY

1:23:07 > 1:23:09IBS, dear?

1:23:13 > 1:23:17# Oh, come...

1:23:17 > 1:23:21# Let us go back

1:23:21 > 1:23:22# To God

1:23:22 > 1:23:24# Go back

1:23:24 > 1:23:26# Oh, how long?

1:23:26 > 1:23:29# Let's go back to God

1:23:29 > 1:23:32- # Let us go back - Let's go back to God

1:23:32 > 1:23:36- # Come on... - Let's go back to God... #

1:23:36 > 1:23:38Get Garth!

1:23:38 > 1:23:39# Oh, come

1:23:39 > 1:23:43# Let us go back

1:23:43 > 1:23:45# To God

1:23:45 > 1:23:47# Go back

1:23:47 > 1:23:51# To God. #

1:24:02 > 1:24:04Excellent.

1:24:04 > 1:24:08I believe, at last, we have the right man for the job.

1:24:08 > 1:24:10SHE SNORES LOUDLY

1:24:56 > 1:25:00# They crucified

1:25:00 > 1:25:03# The saviour

1:25:03 > 1:25:07# They crucified

1:25:07 > 1:25:10# The saviour

1:25:10 > 1:25:13# They crucified

1:25:13 > 1:25:17# The saviour

1:25:17 > 1:25:21# And nailed him to the cross... #

1:25:28 > 1:25:30CUCKOO! CUCKOO!

1:25:30 > 1:25:32HE GULPS

1:25:32 > 1:25:34# And ascended in a cloud

1:25:34 > 1:25:36MUMBLES

1:25:37 > 1:25:41# And ascended in a cloud

1:25:41 > 1:25:44# And ascended in a cloud... #

1:25:44 > 1:25:45MEOWS ANGRILY

1:25:51 > 1:25:54# And ascended in a cloud

1:25:54 > 1:25:56# And ascended in a cloud

1:25:56 > 1:25:58# And ascended in a cloud

1:25:58 > 1:26:00# And ascended in a cloud

1:26:00 > 1:26:03# And ascended in a cloud

1:26:03 > 1:26:07# And ascended in a cloud. #

1:26:08 > 1:26:10The old woman...

1:26:10 > 1:26:14is a more formidable antagonist than one had imagined.

1:26:14 > 1:26:17FOGHORN BLOWS

1:26:35 > 1:26:38Now, Lump...

1:26:38 > 1:26:41it falls to you to finish the job.

1:26:43 > 1:26:45The...comedy must end.

1:26:45 > 1:26:50You know, I-I've been doing some thinking, Professor.

1:26:50 > 1:26:55- Oh, dear.- Maybe we should be going to church...

1:26:55 > 1:26:58Oh, dear Lump, I feared those would be your words.

1:26:58 > 1:27:02I appreciate your giving the matter the benefit of your thought,

1:27:02 > 1:27:06but recall, dear boy, our respective functions in this enterprise.

1:27:06 > 1:27:11I am a professor. The professor, as you so often say. The thinker.

1:27:11 > 1:27:13Trained in the arts of cogitation.

1:27:13 > 1:27:16You are the goon, the hooligan, the dumb brute,

1:27:16 > 1:27:19whose actions must be directed by a higher intelligence.

1:27:19 > 1:27:21- I know, but... - No buts!

1:27:21 > 1:27:26Do not repeat the error of thinking. Now is the moment of praxis.

1:27:26 > 1:27:29Now, Lump, you must act.

1:27:32 > 1:27:34But I can't do it, Professor.

1:27:34 > 1:27:36A nice old lady like that.

1:27:36 > 1:27:39Think of the riches you and I alone shall divide.

1:27:39 > 1:27:42- I know, but... - And if you decline to act,

1:27:42 > 1:27:44thus forcing me to do so,

1:27:44 > 1:27:46you have no entitlement to the money.

1:27:46 > 1:27:50Your offices shall have been nugatory.

1:27:50 > 1:27:53You mean, you're gonna kill her?

1:27:53 > 1:27:57Of course, yes. My hand shall be forced.

1:27:57 > 1:28:00I can't allow you to do that, Professor.

1:28:02 > 1:28:05HE CHUCKLES BREATHLESSLY You...

1:28:05 > 1:28:08- Allow?- Mmn-hmn.

1:28:08 > 1:28:10Not allow?!

1:28:10 > 1:28:12Mmn-hmm.

1:28:12 > 1:28:15What presumption!

1:28:15 > 1:28:17You...stupid boy!

1:28:17 > 1:28:19You very...

1:28:20 > 1:28:23..very, extremely stupid boy.

1:28:23 > 1:28:25Oh, yeah?

1:28:25 > 1:28:28Who looks stupid now?

1:28:28 > 1:28:31GUN CLICKS

1:28:31 > 1:28:34FOGHORN BLOWS

1:28:36 > 1:28:37No bullets?

1:28:44 > 1:28:46Praxis...

1:28:46 > 1:28:49had to be thus.

1:28:50 > 1:28:54Lo, in yon brilliant window niche

1:28:54 > 1:28:57How statuelike I see thee stand.

1:29:01 > 1:29:03HE GASPS A raven!

1:29:03 > 1:29:06HE CHUCKLES

1:29:06 > 1:29:09CAWS

1:29:09 > 1:29:11FOGHORN BLOWS

1:29:13 > 1:29:16The agate lamp within thy hand.

1:29:16 > 1:29:19Ah, Psyche,

1:29:19 > 1:29:23from the regions which...

1:29:23 > 1:29:26are holy land.

1:29:26 > 1:29:27CAWS

1:29:39 > 1:29:41RIPPING

1:30:19 > 1:30:20Huh?

1:30:26 > 1:30:27Uh-huh.

1:30:30 > 1:30:32Professor?

1:30:35 > 1:30:37Mmn-mmn-mmn.

1:30:37 > 1:30:39Couldn't face the music.

1:30:45 > 1:30:48- We don't know what to do. - < I'll check that.- Tried that, too.

1:30:48 > 1:30:51- HE STAMMERS - Oh, er...

1:30:51 > 1:30:52Er, Mrs Munson?

1:30:52 > 1:30:55Gotta make a statement, Sheriff...

1:30:55 > 1:30:57Ma'am, could it wait? We're kinda busy today.

1:30:57 > 1:30:59Well, I suppose it could wait,

1:30:59 > 1:31:02but it's about that casino money.

1:31:04 > 1:31:06Let me call you back.

1:31:06 > 1:31:09- You know something about it? - Something? Everything!

1:31:09 > 1:31:12- I got it at home. - You got what at home?

1:31:12 > 1:31:15The money! 1.6m.

1:31:15 > 1:31:18- It's down in my root cellar. - How'd it get there, Marva?

1:31:18 > 1:31:21A bunch of desperate men stole it and put it there.

1:31:21 > 1:31:23See, they was musicians

1:31:23 > 1:31:25of the Renaissance period.

1:31:25 > 1:31:27Turned out they really couldn't play.

1:31:27 > 1:31:31But they could recite poems that'd break your heart.

1:31:31 > 1:31:34The ringleader spoke in dead tongues.

1:31:34 > 1:31:37- Does he now? - I tried to get you to see him.

1:31:37 > 1:31:39- That night. - Yes, ma'am.

1:31:39 > 1:31:42- I had to holler at him about stealin' all that money.- Mmn-hmn.

1:31:42 > 1:31:44I guess I made 'em feel real bad,

1:31:44 > 1:31:49cos they just picked up and left without taking the money!

1:31:49 > 1:31:51And they let Pickles out!

1:31:51 > 1:31:54- HE GROANS - So, you want us to come fetch him?

1:31:54 > 1:31:56Oh, no, no. He's back.

1:31:56 > 1:31:59- What you want me to do with the money?- Wh...?

1:32:03 > 1:32:05You keep it!

1:32:05 > 1:32:07Why don't you keep it?

1:32:07 > 1:32:09Keep it?

1:32:09 > 1:32:11Go on, keep it, Miss Marva.

1:32:13 > 1:32:16Well...

1:32:16 > 1:32:21It is just a penny off of everybody's policy.

1:32:24 > 1:32:26Could...?

1:32:27 > 1:32:29- You don't suppose I could...? - Yes, ma'am?

1:32:31 > 1:32:35Could I just give it all to Bob Jones University?

1:32:41 > 1:32:43Yeah!

1:32:43 > 1:32:45That'd be nice.

1:32:45 > 1:32:47Give it all to 'em!

1:32:47 > 1:32:49That's a good idea!

1:32:56 > 1:32:59As long as everybody knows.

1:33:00 > 1:33:02# My Lord

1:33:02 > 1:33:05# He's done just what he said... #

1:33:05 > 1:33:07How you doin'?

1:33:07 > 1:33:09# ..Let your light From the lighthouse

1:33:09 > 1:33:11# Shine on me... #

1:33:11 > 1:33:14SHE LAUGHS HAPPILY

1:33:16 > 1:33:18- SHE GASPS - Pickles!

1:33:18 > 1:33:20Oh, Lord! Pickles!

1:33:20 > 1:33:22# Shine on

1:33:22 > 1:33:25# Let it shine on

1:33:25 > 1:33:28# Let it shine on

1:33:28 > 1:33:30# Let your light

1:33:30 > 1:33:32# From the lighthouse

1:33:32 > 1:33:34# Shine on me

1:33:34 > 1:33:36# Shine on

1:33:36 > 1:33:39# Let it shine on

1:33:39 > 1:33:41# Let your light

1:33:41 > 1:33:43# From the lighthouse

1:33:43 > 1:33:45# Shine on

1:33:45 > 1:33:48# I know I've got religion

1:33:48 > 1:33:50# And I ain't ashamed

1:33:50 > 1:33:51# Let your light

1:33:51 > 1:33:54# From the lighthouse

1:33:54 > 1:33:56# Shine on me

1:33:56 > 1:33:58# Angels in heaven

1:33:58 > 1:34:01# Done wrote my name

1:34:01 > 1:34:02# Let your light

1:34:02 > 1:34:04# From the lighthouse

1:34:04 > 1:34:06# Shine on

1:34:06 > 1:34:09# Let it shine on

1:34:09 > 1:34:12# Let it shine on

1:34:12 > 1:34:15# Let your light from the lighthouse

1:34:15 > 1:34:17# Shine on me

1:34:17 > 1:34:19# Shine on

1:34:19 > 1:34:22# Oh, let it shine on

1:34:22 > 1:34:25# Let your light from the lighthouse

1:34:25 > 1:34:27# Shine on me...

1:34:35 > 1:34:39- # Go, man, go! - Shine on

1:34:39 > 1:34:41- # All night long - Shine on

1:34:41 > 1:34:44# Shine, shine, shine...

1:34:52 > 1:34:56- # You got to feel it - Shine on

1:34:56 > 1:34:59- # In your heart - Shine on

1:34:59 > 1:35:01- # You got to feel it - Shine on

1:35:01 > 1:35:03- # In your soul - Shine on

1:35:03 > 1:35:06- # You got to take His hand - Shine on... #