0:00:02 > 0:00:03WHISTLE BLOWS
0:00:03 > 0:00:05KIDS SHOUT
0:00:09 > 0:00:11This film contains strong language.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Sorry, mate. I'm sorry. Hey, sexy.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33Oh, well played.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Ah, yes. You got a ciggie?
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- No, I quit.- Oh, great(!)
0:01:41 > 0:01:43That's the end of your sex life.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45You will let us all know when yours starts.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49- I hope this lot have done their homework.- You'll get it in the pub. - Kate?- Yeah?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52You mind taking Joe across the rub-a for me?
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Come on, you. You can buy me a pint.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- You get taller every week. - I'm hardly going to shrink, am I?
0:02:03 > 0:02:08Oh, I don't know, Adam. How do you let a diamond girl like that slip through your fingers, eh?
0:02:08 > 0:02:11She fell in love with my best mate.
0:02:11 > 0:02:12MEN CHEER
0:02:12 > 0:02:14We won!
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Jammy sod!- You're just pissed off because you're leading scorer again.
0:02:17 > 0:02:22- Your second goal was a complete fluke.- "You must learn to trust the force, young Skywalker!"
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Right, guys. Anyone still not given me their list? Cass?
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Oh, I gave it to Kate last night.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29ALL: Hey! Ooh!
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Children, children!
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- You finished?- Hm.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Now, that's not even trying.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- What?- Things to do before you're 30, and you can only come up with three?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- Well, I didn't know it was a competition!- Aaah!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Aw! Oh!
0:02:44 > 0:02:46I've got one for your list.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Get yourself down the gym before you're 30...stone!
0:02:49 > 0:02:50THEY LAUGH
0:02:50 > 0:02:52When do I get chance to go to the gym, eh?
0:02:53 > 0:02:55Wha-hey!
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Careful, I've pulled my groin!
0:02:57 > 0:02:58What, in here?!
0:02:59 > 0:03:00Fuck off!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02THEY LAUGH AND SING
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Hi.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Can I be of assistance?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19I'm looking for Colin.
0:03:24 > 0:03:25Oh!
0:03:28 > 0:03:29- Oh, here you are!- Jesus!
0:03:31 > 0:03:32What are you doing here?
0:03:32 > 0:03:35I wanted to meet your mates.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36I'm Vicky.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37ALL: Hi, Vicky!
0:03:37 > 0:03:38SHE LAUGHS
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Why don't... Why don't you wait for us in the pub over the road?
0:03:41 > 0:03:45- Oh, are you going to be much longer? - I'm getting longer by the second!
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Ten minutes, tops.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Right.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55- See you then! - Oh, right. See you guys!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57- ALL: Bye, Vicky!- Nice!
0:03:57 > 0:04:00"Win the lottery and go to the cup final."
0:04:02 > 0:04:05That's original - "Fire a gun and spend a night in a police cell."
0:04:05 > 0:04:07It makes mine sound really boring.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- I don't believe that for a second. - Has everyone done one of these?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Yep, we're an unofficial focus group for Kate's magazine.
0:04:13 > 0:04:18"Write off a car, have sex in a car, have a threesome..."
0:04:18 > 0:04:20How adolescent is that?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23That's my list. Are you saying I'm adolescent?
0:04:23 > 0:04:24If it's your list.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27I do adult things as well.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Same again?- Ignore him.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I mean, "Have a threesome."
0:04:33 > 0:04:36How pathetic is that as a life goal?
0:04:37 > 0:04:38Well...
0:04:38 > 0:04:40It's on this one too.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45In fact, it's on all of them.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48You put in on your list?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Dream on, Colin mate!
0:04:50 > 0:04:51THEY LAUGH
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Well, hang on a minute. Most of you lot must be over 30.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Only just.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00Well, how many of you have had a threesome?
0:05:03 > 0:05:04Dad?
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- What?- What's a threesome?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I'll tell you when you're older.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14Hey, Dylan!
0:05:14 > 0:05:16I bet this is yours.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17"Find your soul mate."
0:05:17 > 0:05:18THEY LAUGH
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- It's supposed to be anonymous. - "Start a family."
0:05:21 > 0:05:22THEY LAUGH
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Tell him, Kate. - Adam, stop reading Dylan's list.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- I didn't say it was my list. - Bloody hell.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30"Have a homosexual experience."
0:05:30 > 0:05:33- That ain't mine.- It's not mine!
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Gavin, didn't you do your list on lined paper?
0:05:37 > 0:05:39I didn't mean me.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43I meant if you were, like, gay, then you know,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46it'd be a good thing to, you know, have done it by the time you're 30.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48I didn't mean me.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50You said we didn't have to have done them, right?
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Absolutely.
0:05:52 > 0:05:53THEY LAUGH
0:05:53 > 0:05:55I had a homosexual experience last night...
0:05:56 > 0:05:58..watching lesbian porno.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00THEY LAUGH
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Hang on, guys. Hang on. Listen!
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Someone's put, "Give up Sunday football."
0:06:06 > 0:06:08- Whose list's that? - This is a joke, right?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10No-one really wants to give up.
0:06:14 > 0:06:15Who we got next week?
0:06:15 > 0:06:18- Hospital porters, away.- Cool.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19So you will be there then?
0:06:19 > 0:06:23All new nurses on the touchline. What do you reckon?
0:06:23 > 0:06:26See you next week. Bring your trainers!
0:06:30 > 0:06:31- Bye!- See you next week.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Bring your trainers!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38It really bugs you that someone wants to quit, doesn't it?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Well, we're just about scraping the team together now, you know?
0:06:41 > 0:06:44- I might have a new player for you. - Yeah?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46In about 20 years.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Wh... You're pregnant?
0:06:51 > 0:06:53- How long?- Three months.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58I think "congratulations" is the word you're looking for.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Huh? Yes, sorry, no... It's just a bit of a surprise, that's all.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Yeah, no-one was more surprised than me...
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- ..apart from him. - So when were you going to tell me?
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Tell you what?
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- Oh, yeah, the, er...- Baby!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- About the baby. - Yeah. We should celebrate.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Sure, um...come over later.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18Nice one.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23ENGINE REVS
0:07:25 > 0:07:28I'm... I'm not insecure.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Then why didn't you want me to meet your mates?
0:07:32 > 0:07:33Well...
0:07:34 > 0:07:40How you and I could ever have a threesome, when you don't even like me talking to other guys...
0:07:41 > 0:07:42Other GUYS?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Aha!
0:07:44 > 0:07:49I see so all a threesome means to you is, one guy and two girls, right?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50Um...
0:07:50 > 0:07:53So it's all about what YOU want?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57No... No, no, look I'm really interested in what you want too.
0:07:57 > 0:08:03Look, it's about us exploring the boundaries, not just of our sexuality,
0:08:03 > 0:08:09but...broadening our horizons...together.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Yeah, right(!) Well, if you really want to expand your horizons,
0:08:13 > 0:08:17then you might consider that there's more to life than Sunday football!
0:08:17 > 0:08:18What?!
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Well, you can't play football forever!
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Hi! Ah!- Hello, babe.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Aw!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28This is Colin. I've told you about him.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Colin, this is Sheera.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Sheera?
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Hello, Colin. I've heard a lot about you.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Don't go getting any ideas, you. He's mine!
0:08:38 > 0:08:40THEY GIGGLE
0:08:42 > 0:08:48Well, a lesbian is a lady who likes other ladies.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04- So, Dad...- Mm-hm.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Is mummy a lesbian?
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- No.- But she has friends who are ladies.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17It's a bit more complicated than that.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Why don't you tell me when I'm older?
0:09:42 > 0:09:43Dad!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Dad, what the fuck are you doing here?
0:09:45 > 0:09:49- I made it over the wall. Come, get me inside quick.- Mr Robson?
0:09:49 > 0:09:52- Yeah.- Your dad's been discharged. - He can hardly fucking walk!
0:09:52 > 0:09:57- The consultant wouldn't let him out if he wasn't well enough.- Right(!) Not like they need the beds!
0:09:57 > 0:09:59You two mind not going about me like I ain't here!
0:09:59 > 0:10:01- It was my call, all right.- Why?
0:10:01 > 0:10:06Mr Whatever-his-name-is says that if I take it easy, and look after my blood pressure,
0:10:06 > 0:10:08I should live to at least next Thursday.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13Could you make it Wednesday? I was going to let your room to some asylum seekers.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Well, as long as they're not from Scotland.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Did you win today?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Didn't play. I've jacked it in. We all have.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Course you have(!)
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Is this for real?
0:10:24 > 0:10:29Oh, I go into hospital for a couple of poxy months and you lot jack it in!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Has Cass quit, eh?
0:10:32 > 0:10:36- Adam ain't quit, 'as he? - They've all packed it in.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37I don't believe it.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42DOG BARKS
0:11:04 > 0:11:06HORN SOUNDS
0:11:06 > 0:11:08SHE LAUGHS
0:11:11 > 0:11:12I was just...
0:11:14 > 0:11:17So. How did they take it?
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Oh, they were gutted.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21But I was very clear.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26I said, "My playing days are over, and I've hung up my gloves."
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Oh, thank you.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46TV: 'Quick ball, looking through for...
0:11:46 > 0:11:47'..onto his right foot!'
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Yes!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Go on, you beauty! Have some of that!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- A-a-a-ah!- '..has done it.'
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Dinner'll be about an hour, madam.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01'And look at this ball from Cole, but then look at this.'
0:12:01 > 0:12:04- You OK?- 'How did he get it in?'
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Why didn't you tell the guys about the baby today?
0:12:07 > 0:12:08It never came up.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Never came up?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14But I thought we'd agreed we'd start telling people.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16I just couldn't find the right moment.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Next time. - Well, only if you want to.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I mean, you do want to, don't you?
0:12:20 > 0:12:24Course I do, but I won't need to now. Adam knows.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28A month ago, you wanted to tell everyone, including the milkman.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Well, he had a right to know.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35BUZZER RINGS
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Da-da!
0:12:41 > 0:12:42HE LAUGHS
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Not interrupting anything, am I?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Chance'd be a fine thing.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49And that's his little tummy.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50He's got your nose.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52THEY LAUGH
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- That's his foot.- Oh...
0:12:56 > 0:13:00Wow... This is just amazing, man.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Just think,
0:13:03 > 0:13:08in a few years, this'll be asking you if he can stay up till midnight,
0:13:08 > 0:13:11dropping out of Oxford to join a rock band!
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Ha! It's hard to imagine, eh?
0:13:12 > 0:13:13This.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Actually, er...this is a bit of a double celebration.
0:13:22 > 0:13:26I was going to save it till next week as a surprise, but I've got to tell someone.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Next week is our 500th match!
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- You're kidding! - No, I double-checked all the stats.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Ha ha, yeah!
0:13:37 > 0:13:41- Does the Don know?- No, no, no, no, no. He's going to be chuffed.
0:13:41 > 0:13:42You are pathetic.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46- What?- This is something to be excited about, is it?
0:13:46 > 0:13:47- Yeah, it's important.- Why?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49- "Why?"- Yeah, why is this important?
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Why?
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Adam?
0:13:53 > 0:13:54CORK POPS
0:13:54 > 0:13:56- Oh!- Cheers, mate(!)
0:13:56 > 0:14:01Right. Um...it's a sense of history.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- That's right, that's it. It's our history.- History.
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Yes, that's right. Us two, Billy, Colin, Dylan, Johnny.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- All part of the first team the Don picked.- 20 years ago.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13And all playing in the 500th game.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Come on, Kate. This is one special Sunday.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- You're too right it is. - There you go.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18We're gonna meet our midwife.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20On a Sunday?
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Well, you think that the city of London will grind to a halt
0:14:23 > 0:14:25if you take time off in the week.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Yes. Well, obviously I can make it in the week, if it's important.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- Well, that's settled, then. We having this toast or not?- Sure.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34To the 500th game!
0:14:35 > 0:14:37Er...and the baby.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44DOOR RATTLES
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Morning!
0:14:59 > 0:15:02You are never going to believe this, right.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04I mean, I can hardly believe it myself.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06- Vicks has got...- Colin.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- This is my practice time... - Yeah, but...- ..every morning.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- But you've really got...- Shh!
0:15:12 > 0:15:15HE PLAYS A NOTE
0:15:17 > 0:15:20You know, you were the only person I was going to tell.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22But if you're not interested, that's fine.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- Colin!- No, no, no, honestly. No. All right.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Tell me what?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33- I'm on for a threesome. - Yeah, right(!)
0:15:33 > 0:15:36At least, I think I am.
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Vicks's just got this friend, Sheera... Oh!
0:15:40 > 0:15:41- Alan Shearer?- No, no!
0:15:41 > 0:15:45Right, only met her yesterday but her, me and Vicks, I dunno, we just sort of clicked.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Just hold on.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Now I find it disturbing enough when Vicky stays over.
0:15:50 > 0:15:51This is my house.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Well, it's your dad's house actually, but...
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- Yeah, whatever, but I don't want it full of students having orgies. - Absolutely.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- You know I like my...- Yeah, your privacy, your sense of routine.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04I'm totally in agreement, which is why if we do it, OK,
0:16:04 > 0:16:09I'll give you plenty of notice, so that you can be...out.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Hm.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Speaking of which...
0:16:20 > 0:16:21Just...
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Just don't tell on us till after, all right?
0:16:27 > 0:16:28Yeah.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35Sorry...
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Colin!
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Leave.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51All right, Dad.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Who the fuck are you?
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Very nice to meet you too.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Stay on your feet, you slag!
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Oh, even you can tackle better than that! Go on, Mark!
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- Get up!- TV: 'A real chance here.'
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Oh, for fuck's sake! Just...
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Oi!
0:17:17 > 0:17:20You've been told not to get too excited.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22You want to get rid of HER, then.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Did the hospital send you?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26No, love. I'm a stripogram(!)
0:17:56 > 0:17:57- Keep the duck.- Yeah.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00- Keep the lamb.- Sure.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Give us a minute.
0:18:16 > 0:18:17Coffee?
0:18:22 > 0:18:24How's the house?
0:18:24 > 0:18:25Fine.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31The world of music treating you well?
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- I've been offered a few gigs round Europe.- Oh!
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Today Norway, tomorrow the world.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Look, I didn't come here to talk about me.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Oh?
0:18:43 > 0:18:46A friend of mine, Johnny Robson,
0:18:46 > 0:18:50had an interview last week for a sous chef position.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54Is that why you're here - to find out if he's got the job?
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Well, yeah.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58You're an errand boy for your mates now?
0:18:58 > 0:19:00This was a mistake.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Hey.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Johnny - is he a good friend?
0:19:14 > 0:19:15I'm here, aren't I?
0:19:15 > 0:19:21Well, here's the thing. He cooked a great trial meal. It's a toss up between him and somebody else.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- And?- Is he reliable?
0:19:23 > 0:19:27He's been my best friend for nearly 20 years.
0:19:27 > 0:19:28Yes, but is he reliable?
0:19:28 > 0:19:29DYLAN SIGHS
0:19:29 > 0:19:31OK, OK, I'll talk to the chef...
0:19:32 > 0:19:33..but what about you?
0:19:34 > 0:19:36We're looking for good waiters.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37I'm not a waiter.
0:19:37 > 0:19:42Well, your gigs can't bring in much. You won't do session work, you won't teach....
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Mr Hurst? Telephone.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Thank you.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Oh, Claire, let me introduce you to Dylan, my son.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51Hello.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54All right?
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Dylan is thinking of joining your excellent team of waiters. - Great.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06- There you are.- Thanks.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Are you sure we're not too early?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Three o'clock.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18No, I meant...
0:20:18 > 0:20:21to come in here. These women are enormous.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25You do realise that I'm going to be enormous soon?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Yeah, but you'll be sexy enormous...
0:20:27 > 0:20:29won't you?
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Maybe, but maybe I won't be beautiful or sexy or desirable again.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34Hey, this ain't like you.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38No, it isn't, that's the point. I'm not like me and I'm never going to be like me again.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- You're going to be fine. - Yes, but I am worried.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Of course you're worried. You're going to have a baby.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46WE. WE'RE going to have a baby.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48- Has that sunk in?- Course it has.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Good, because I need you to do this with me, OK?- OK.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55And I need to know that all the things you said two months ago are still true.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58You said that this was what you'd always dreamt of.
0:20:58 > 0:20:59- It was.- Was?!
0:20:59 > 0:21:02Is! Stop confusing me. I'm here, ain't I?
0:21:02 > 0:21:08Listen, I know it's hard to take in sometimes, but this is really happening.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10You are going to be a father.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13What?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Do you mean this is MY baby?!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18I hate you so much sometimes.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20- I hate you too.- Stop it.
0:21:20 > 0:21:21- What's that?- What?
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Kate Taylor?
0:21:26 > 0:21:27That's me.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30We spoke on the phone. Charlotte West, your midwife.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- Hello.- And you are?
0:21:32 > 0:21:34The proud father.
0:21:44 > 0:21:45MOBILE RINGS
0:21:49 > 0:21:50Hello?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59All right, geezer. Thanks for ringing back. I...
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Er... Yeah, er...
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Adam, Adam, yeah, I need to speak to you about Sunday.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Really?
0:22:16 > 0:22:18500?
0:22:18 > 0:22:22Careful, Joe. You'll get bubbles in his eyes.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23It's a special occasion.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Yeah, of course it is(!) It's a football match.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30It's a milestone! Look, I'll play this one last game and then that is it.
0:22:30 > 0:22:31No, I said be careful, Joe.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35You know what would make me really happy?
0:22:35 > 0:22:38As it's my last game, why don't you come and watch, like you used to?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40I'd rather watch paint dry!
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Which is probably what I'll be doing.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Why can't you forget the house for one sodding day?
0:22:44 > 0:22:48It's not just the house. It's our home, and it's falling apart!
0:22:48 > 0:22:49SHE SIGHS
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Am I being unreasonable?
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Well, it's only one more game.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02TO TUNE OF "LA DONNA E MOBILE" # Greenwich Athletico
0:23:02 > 0:23:06# Greenwich Athletico... #
0:23:06 > 0:23:08See you managed to have your homosexual experience.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10I've hurt my toe, all right?
0:23:10 > 0:23:13God, the things you poofs get up to!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16THEY CHEER LOUDLY
0:23:16 > 0:23:17500 up, eh?
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- STEREO PLAYS "THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN" - All right, man?
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Aa-a-a-ah! Aha!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33THEY LAUGH AND CHEER
0:23:33 > 0:23:36You do know you'll never have sex again, don't you?
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Cheers for speaking to your dad, man.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41I start tomorrow.
0:23:41 > 0:23:42Cool!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44It's a shame your dad's not here.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48I mean if it wasn't for him, none of us would be here, would we?
0:23:48 > 0:23:52- Yeah, I'm going to take one of these shirts to the hospital after. - Nice one!
0:23:52 > 0:23:53No.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56He's out the hospital, he's back home.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- Fantastic!- Oh, how's he doing? - Why didn't you say?
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Is he coming later?
0:24:01 > 0:24:05He's still not well. He needs peace and quiet.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Here, mate, whatever's best for the Don.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08ALL: Shee-ra!
0:24:08 > 0:24:09ALL: Shee-ra!
0:24:09 > 0:24:11ALL: Shee-ra!
0:24:11 > 0:24:12THEY LAUGH
0:24:12 > 0:24:13Thanks(!)
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- Only a month to go now.- Till what?
0:24:17 > 0:24:21Until his birthday! If he's going to have a three-way before he's 30!
0:24:21 > 0:24:24ALL: Shee-ra! Shee-ra! Shee-ra!
0:24:24 > 0:24:25ALL: Shee-ra!
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Sorry, it was manic last night at the hospital.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Well, you can't play with six players.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33HE BLOWS WHISTLE
0:24:37 > 0:24:41If you knew how much fucking hassle it was for me to get here today...
0:24:41 > 0:24:46- What hassle?- Hassle right, just hassle, just so some four-eyed queer can tell us to go home.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48No-one's forcing you to turn up.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52- Maybe I won't any more.- You don't mean that.- I was thinking of calling it a day.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Yeah, perhaps it's time, eh?
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Who died? - This lot are talking about stopping.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06Oh, I knew it!
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- The truth is, I can't take any more ear-bashing from Rosie.- Look!
0:25:09 > 0:25:13I can't afford any more injuries. Could hardly play a note last week.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17- Like Johnny says, what's the point of all this hassle? - What fucking hassle?
0:25:17 > 0:25:20All you lot have got to do is turn up and play.
0:25:20 > 0:25:25I gotta do the admin, the laundry, the fixtures,
0:25:25 > 0:25:28and anyway what's the point of anything anyway, huh?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30What makes you happy?
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Yeah, well, we can't play football forever.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35- Why not?- Well...
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Yeah, why not actually?
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Look, the way I see it,
0:25:41 > 0:25:45we've got to at least play the 500 before we make any rash decisions.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47But next week's game's miles away.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50We can make a big thing of it, go away together the night before.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52We can go in your car.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- Oh, wait a minute!- Have a few laughs.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Like the old days.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Yeah, nice one. How about it?
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Who's going to organise it?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04ALL: A-a-a-ah!
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Oi! All right, you bastards. You've got a cheek!
0:26:09 > 0:26:10Table 24.
0:26:13 > 0:26:1614, 19 and 17 all in.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22- Just think about it. - He's not fit enough yet. Service!
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Look, he wouldn't have to stay long. He could just watch the first half.
0:26:26 > 0:26:27Doctor's orders.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- Claire, I've got to go out for an hour.- Fine.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32How's it going?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- Is she treating you all right? - No complaints.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Listen, do you fancy coming over to lunch on Sunday?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39I play football on Sundays, remember?
0:26:39 > 0:26:44Right. Well, I'd just like to have a natter sometime soon. It'd be good to catch up.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Mind your backs, coming through!
0:26:47 > 0:26:49We're going to offer you a pay rise.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52They'd have to break the bank to keep me here much longer.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54So where do you play?
0:26:54 > 0:26:56What? Oh, left wing back.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59No, I meant...
0:26:59 > 0:27:02I hear your proper job is making music.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Starters for table 22, two scallops.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Yeah, gig most weekends - pubs, clubs, you know...
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Still waiting for the big break.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13You got a gig this weekend?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15No, I'm going away.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18Dylan! 22, now!
0:27:22 > 0:27:23She's way out of your league.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25I dunno what you're talking about.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Playing the weekend after. That would be...
0:27:30 > 0:27:32if you'd like to...
0:27:33 > 0:27:34- I'll try.- Cool!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Are you sure your friends are already inside?
0:27:40 > 0:27:43- Yes. - And Sheera's definitely with them?
0:27:43 > 0:27:45I've told you twice.
0:27:45 > 0:27:46- Danny!- Hey, angel tits!
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Oh, sorry, Colin. This is Danny.
0:27:50 > 0:27:53- Danny?- From the squat.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56Oh, that Danny.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59It's, er...one in, one out.
0:27:59 > 0:28:03- You'll be here all night, you know. - Bummer! What you up to now then?
0:28:03 > 0:28:04I dunno - home, a few tinnies.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07- There's this cool documentary on about Dadaism.- Oh, yeah!
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Do you mind if we go back?
0:28:11 > 0:28:14- What about Sheera?- She's with mates.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Come on. It's about time you saw my place.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19HE SIGHS
0:28:19 > 0:28:20- Great.- OK.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Be careful. The floor's a bit...
0:28:27 > 0:28:28Ah, fuck!
0:28:28 > 0:28:30SHE LAUGHS
0:28:32 > 0:28:33I'll get the lights.
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Jesus.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46I'll get some beers.
0:28:56 > 0:28:58REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS
0:29:10 > 0:29:12Do you like my picture?
0:29:12 > 0:29:14Yeah, cool.
0:29:28 > 0:29:29Is...
0:29:41 > 0:29:43TV: '..by acting as a metaphorical skin.'
0:29:43 > 0:29:45This place is just a...
0:29:45 > 0:29:47It's brilliant, isn't it?
0:29:47 > 0:29:51'The spectator experiences the tensions between the representing marks
0:29:51 > 0:29:55'and the containment of the image within them, as the woman appears to experience
0:29:55 > 0:29:59'the tensions between the parts of her body and its containment within its skin.
0:29:59 > 0:30:03'In the first place, as we approach the picture, the factitiousness
0:30:03 > 0:30:07'or man-made and artificial character are the depicting signs.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10'It becomes more insistent. What is more...'
0:30:10 > 0:30:11CANDLE CLATTERS
0:30:11 > 0:30:16'..the picture even makes the spectator aware of its factitiousness at a distance,
0:30:16 > 0:30:20'particularly once he has seen the blue spot under the woman's breast,
0:30:20 > 0:30:23'around which the space of a picture holds together...'
0:30:23 > 0:30:24I used... Yeah.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27'It becomes impossible to make it disappear
0:30:27 > 0:30:29'or to lose sight of its...'
0:30:29 > 0:30:30COLIN SIGHS
0:30:30 > 0:30:31'..visual force.'
0:30:31 > 0:30:34Must be... Must be difficult to heat.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36Impossible!
0:30:40 > 0:30:42But we don't mind, you know.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45I mean, I think it's good to experience extremes,
0:30:45 > 0:30:49like true discomfort, like cold or hunger, you know.
0:30:51 > 0:30:52Yeah.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57Vicky, how can you live here?
0:30:57 > 0:30:59You should have seen the last place.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01There must be some alternative.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04Yeah, right(!) On a student loan?
0:31:04 > 0:31:06SANDER BUZZES
0:31:15 > 0:31:16Billy!
0:31:16 > 0:31:17Billy!
0:31:20 > 0:31:21BUZZING STOPS
0:31:21 > 0:31:23Cup of tea?
0:31:24 > 0:31:25Oh! Oh, ta!
0:31:25 > 0:31:28- Don't you want any breakfast?- Nah!
0:31:28 > 0:31:31- Breakfast is for wimps. - Ah, you're doing a great job.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34Mm! Well, like you said, it's time we made this place a home.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36- I think you've earned a reward.- Ooh!
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- Mmm!- Hey! Later!
0:31:39 > 0:31:40THEY LAUGH
0:31:40 > 0:31:44Listen, I'll ask Helen to come over tonight and look after the kids,
0:31:44 > 0:31:48because I have booked us a romantic weekend break by the seaside.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50THEY LAUGH
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Just you and me and as much candyfloss as we can eat.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54The thing is...
0:31:55 > 0:32:00Billy, if a sentence with the word football passes your lips now, you are a dead man.
0:32:00 > 0:32:04It's just... You remember we didn't actually play last Sunday?
0:32:06 > 0:32:09- You said I could play the 500th game. - Joe.
0:32:09 > 0:32:13Why don't I go tidy my room?
0:32:15 > 0:32:20- I don't believe I was stupid enough to think you did this work cos you wanted to.- I did!
0:32:20 > 0:32:23- No, you were storing up Brownie points.- I am getting the work done.
0:32:23 > 0:32:29This is NOT about the fucking work. It's about us, our marriage, about us never spending time together.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33You do remember our plan to do up our dream home together?
0:32:33 > 0:32:35Well, I'm sorry that I'm at the bank all day.
0:32:35 > 0:32:40- And I'm here wondering why you don't want to spend the weekend with me.- You don't understand!
0:32:40 > 0:32:41I want to, Billy.
0:32:41 > 0:32:45- Perhaps if you came with me, you might understand why it's important to me.- Right!
0:32:45 > 0:32:51Meeting a bunch of boozed-up, selfish, adolescent yobs will make everything fall into place.
0:32:51 > 0:32:52They are not b...
0:32:53 > 0:32:54Rosie!
0:33:13 > 0:33:14I'm leaving!
0:33:18 > 0:33:20For the weekend.
0:33:29 > 0:33:30BUZZER SOUNDS
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Wait there!
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Stay there. I'll be down in a minute.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44- Who's that, lad?- It's my lift.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Picked a bad time to start smoking again, mate.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56- There's a good time? - I meant what with Kate being...
0:33:56 > 0:33:57I know what you meant.
0:34:11 > 0:34:17- Now, you've got my mobile number. Any problems, and I mean ANY, day or night, you call me.- OK.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19Not you. I...
0:34:24 > 0:34:29- I just wanted to say hi to the Don. - I told you. He's not ready for visitors.
0:34:29 > 0:34:31I'm going to say hello, not ask him to dance.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33All right, boss.
0:34:33 > 0:34:34Dylan!
0:34:35 > 0:34:37You're looking...great.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40Yeah, and you're a fucking liar!
0:34:41 > 0:34:43This is Fiona...
0:34:43 > 0:34:44giving me a hand job.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Oh!
0:34:46 > 0:34:47Hello? Anyone home?
0:34:47 > 0:34:50- Hey, boss!- Ah! Skipper!
0:34:50 > 0:34:51Great to see you, man.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55- You going fishing too?- You what?
0:34:55 > 0:34:59Gotta find something to do now we don't play footy any more.
0:34:59 > 0:35:00Right.
0:35:02 > 0:35:03Come on, we've gotta go.
0:35:03 > 0:35:06Guess it had to come to an end one day.
0:35:06 > 0:35:07Guys!
0:35:07 > 0:35:09See you soon, boss.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Tell the others I'd love to see 'em.
0:35:20 > 0:35:21He looked fine to me.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24Give Johnny a break! He's only looking out for the Don.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26He's not the Don any more, he's just my dad.
0:35:26 > 0:35:30MY dad. I've no bloody intention of watching him collapse on the touchline again.
0:35:30 > 0:35:36- I promised I'd keep it going, and you say we jacked it in.- What's the fucking difference? Be true soon.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40Come on, guys.
0:35:40 > 0:35:41The old days, remember?
0:35:41 > 0:35:45I mean, are we going to have the best time ever, or what?
0:35:58 > 0:35:59Oh!
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Keys, keys, keys, keys.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16- Hello.- Hello, sir. How can I help you?
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Athletico Greenwich.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21- What time's kick-off tomorrow?- 1:30.
0:36:21 > 0:36:25- Yeah, but we're still an hour from the ground.- Are you sure we stayed here before?- Yep.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27Why?
0:36:32 > 0:36:35- On the other hand...- Oh, my God!
0:36:35 > 0:36:37Do you know who that is? Fuck!
0:36:39 > 0:36:40Who's go is it?
0:36:40 > 0:36:43R'N'B MUSIC PLAYS
0:36:43 > 0:36:45WOMEN LAUGH AND CHAT
0:36:50 > 0:36:52- Wha-hey! Yeah!- Nice.
0:36:52 > 0:36:53Wow!
0:36:53 > 0:36:56Shame on you! You're a happily married man.
0:36:56 > 0:36:58You reckon?
0:36:58 > 0:37:00Hi.
0:37:01 > 0:37:02Hi.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06- Is it winner stays on? - No, we're playing Killer.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09AS SEAN CONNERY: Of course you are.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11I knew it. You're Lorraine Day.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13That's right.
0:37:15 > 0:37:19- That's Gina Moncur.- Hiya.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21And you're...?
0:37:21 > 0:37:24- Tina Mellor.- Guilty.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Fuck, man, we never miss you on Eurosport.
0:37:26 > 0:37:31- What?- They're professional beach volleyball players.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33Billy's married.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Shame.
0:37:39 > 0:37:40- Ooh!- Yeah!
0:37:43 > 0:37:46- Go on...- O-o-o-h...
0:37:46 > 0:37:48THEY SHOUT
0:37:48 > 0:37:50Um...Like A Virgin.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52No, no. Wasn't that her first album? No, it...
0:37:52 > 0:37:53O-o-oh!
0:37:53 > 0:37:56The first album was just called Madonna, yeah?
0:37:58 > 0:37:59Yeah.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02Sleep tight. See you tomorrow.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05- Girlfriend?- Dad.
0:38:07 > 0:38:08THEY LAUGH
0:38:08 > 0:38:09Stop it!
0:38:09 > 0:38:14- Well, here's to your 500th match. Cheers!- ALL: Cheers!
0:38:14 > 0:38:15Yay!
0:38:15 > 0:38:18You don't know how lucky you are.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20Well, you've got your soul mate.
0:38:20 > 0:38:24A lovely, sophisticated, mature woman.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28Hang on! Rewind!
0:38:28 > 0:38:31Rosie and me was married when we was 19.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32And you're still together.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36Married, kids...
0:38:36 > 0:38:38You know what you're doing with your life.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41You're like...swans.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Don't! I'm pissed already.
0:38:46 > 0:38:50God, how can you guys get so wankered when you've got a game tomorrow?
0:38:50 > 0:38:51THEY LAUGH
0:38:53 > 0:38:55We're not playing till the afternoon.
0:38:55 > 0:38:56THEY LAUGH
0:38:56 > 0:38:59Anyway, we're not serious athletes like you.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02- Yeah, you must have a very strict training regime.- Very.
0:39:02 > 0:39:05Good diet. Plenty of sleep.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08Are there guidelines about sex before a tournament?
0:39:08 > 0:39:10No, no, no, no, I'm serious.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Does it affect your performance?
0:39:12 > 0:39:14Bad sex does.
0:39:14 > 0:39:15What about you?
0:39:15 > 0:39:21Well, I find that so long as I keep myself in trim, watch my diet,
0:39:21 > 0:39:24I always manage to peak just right.
0:39:27 > 0:39:28All right!
0:39:31 > 0:39:32THEY LAUGH
0:39:37 > 0:39:41It is really special though, being mates for so long.
0:39:42 > 0:39:45And you guys, you just seem so different.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47Yeah.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Yeah, if it wasn't for the football...
0:39:51 > 0:39:52What's up?
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Well, tomorrow might be our last game.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58You can still see each other, you know?
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Yeah... Weddings, funerals.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Cheer up, yeah.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05A guy like you...
0:40:05 > 0:40:07must have loads of mates.
0:40:07 > 0:40:11Oh, yeah, I've got loads of mates.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Different to these guys, though.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16What, are all the others black?
0:40:16 > 0:40:18All the others are gay.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Ah!
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Sorry. I thought you'd sussed me.
0:40:26 > 0:40:30What? No. Why do you say that?
0:40:30 > 0:40:32Well, women usually catch on pretty quick.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35Oh. Yeah, well, not this time, obviously.
0:40:40 > 0:40:41Oh, my God!
0:40:43 > 0:40:46These lot don't know...
0:40:46 > 0:40:48do they?
0:40:51 > 0:40:53Bloody 'ell!
0:40:53 > 0:40:57- So, you can tell a virtual stranger, but you...- Sometimes it's easier.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01I'm not some sad closet case.
0:41:01 > 0:41:08If I tell this lot now, it's like I've been lying to them all these years.
0:41:08 > 0:41:09You should tell them,
0:41:09 > 0:41:13- before, you know... - What, before I'm 30? Too late.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15Before they find out.
0:41:15 > 0:41:19Otherwise they WILL think you've been lying to them all these years.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21Like you didn't trust them.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25Yeah.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28It's tough though,
0:41:28 > 0:41:31finding just the right moment.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35Oh, God!
0:41:35 > 0:41:38- Ah!- Ah!- Ah! Ah!
0:41:38 > 0:41:40- Ah, ah...!- What the fuck is that?
0:41:40 > 0:41:44- Like, whoa! What's that?- Ah, ah!
0:41:44 > 0:41:47- Ah!- Shh, shh!- Ah! Oh, God!
0:41:47 > 0:41:50- Sounds like someone's in trouble. - Ah! Ah! Ah!
0:41:50 > 0:41:52- Damsel in distress.- Ah! Ah!
0:41:52 > 0:41:54THEY LAUGH
0:41:54 > 0:41:55Oh, yeah!
0:41:57 > 0:41:58- Ah! Ah! Ah!- Ssh, ssh.
0:41:58 > 0:41:59- Agh!- Ah!
0:41:59 > 0:42:04Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
0:42:04 > 0:42:05That's my car.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07Oh, yeah!
0:42:07 > 0:42:09- Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
0:42:09 > 0:42:10Ah! Uh! Uh!
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
0:42:13 > 0:42:14Ah! Ah! Ah!
0:42:14 > 0:42:16You bastard.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18SHE PANTS
0:42:18 > 0:42:19Do you mind?
0:42:22 > 0:42:26- Come on. - Sorry, darling. I've already peaked.
0:42:34 > 0:42:35Take a seat.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38Is something wrong? Have you found something on the scan...?
0:42:38 > 0:42:40The baby's fine.
0:42:40 > 0:42:41Oh, good.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47Any reason Cass isn't with you today?
0:42:47 > 0:42:49He's got an important football match.
0:42:50 > 0:42:51Right.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54What's the matter?
0:42:56 > 0:42:58Come on, it's freezing!
0:43:06 > 0:43:07WHISTLE GURGLES
0:43:07 > 0:43:10Shit! It took me three sodding hours to get here this morning.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13We've gotta do it. Play the 500th next week, yeah?
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Adam?
0:43:16 > 0:43:19- You know who we're playing next week?- Who are we playing?
0:43:19 > 0:43:23- Farmyard FC, away.- Oh, my God!
0:43:23 > 0:43:24ROCK BAND PLAYS
0:43:34 > 0:43:36I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38Vicky had to move at short notice. I didn't...
0:43:42 > 0:43:43MAN RETCHES
0:43:44 > 0:43:45Hiya.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Look, it won't be forever.
0:43:47 > 0:43:50I made it clear, you absolutely must have your privacy.
0:43:50 > 0:43:52Do you know if there's any more vodka?
0:43:52 > 0:43:53All right...
0:44:03 > 0:44:04MUSIC STOPS
0:44:04 > 0:44:07- Oi!- What?- I wonder how much this is worth.
0:44:07 > 0:44:08Hi, babe!
0:44:08 > 0:44:11Fuck's sake, Vicky, I said YOU could stay.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13It's just a few college friends.
0:44:13 > 0:44:14Get out now!
0:44:14 > 0:44:17Hey, sorry man. We were just chilling, you know.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20Well, chill somewhere else.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24(Pretentious wankers.)
0:44:28 > 0:44:31- Oh, hi!- What happened- to the music?
0:44:31 > 0:44:33Oh, thank you.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44Just get out.
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Can't I stay?
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Um...
0:45:01 > 0:45:04No, no, I think you'd better go.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08- Bye.- Bye.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10HE SIGHS
0:45:12 > 0:45:15- Thanks a lot(!) - Well, you should have asked.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17You didn't have to humiliate me like that.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38Agh! Kate!
0:46:39 > 0:46:40What are you doing?
0:46:40 > 0:46:43Start talking.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45About what?
0:46:45 > 0:46:47You know about what.
0:46:50 > 0:46:51Who told you?
0:46:59 > 0:47:02- She did!- What?
0:47:06 > 0:47:08Look...
0:47:08 > 0:47:10I was drunk.
0:47:10 > 0:47:14Tell me, did you really fancy her or was it just something to put on your list?
0:47:14 > 0:47:18Things to do before your 30 - utterly humiliate your girlfriend.
0:47:18 > 0:47:23- Humiliate?- Yes, it's humiliating to find out that you asked our midwife for her number, her home number.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25How could you?
0:47:27 > 0:47:31You know, it was embarrassing for her too. Why the fuck did you do it?
0:47:34 > 0:47:36See, the thing is,
0:47:36 > 0:47:40all the guys were chatting to the girls who come to support the hospital team,
0:47:40 > 0:47:45and Charlotte was there, so I talked to her. About you, mostly.
0:47:45 > 0:47:50And then, then the alcohol kicked in and I lost the plot.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54I mean, even if she'd given me her stupid number, I never would have called...
0:47:54 > 0:47:57Look, I just can't handle stress like this.
0:47:57 > 0:48:00You know, more importantly, nor can our baby.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05I swear, I'd rather go through this on my own,
0:48:05 > 0:48:08have the baby on my own, than go through another day like today.
0:48:10 > 0:48:11Have you got that?
0:48:13 > 0:48:14- Cass!- I promise.
0:48:16 > 0:48:19I promise from this day on
0:48:19 > 0:48:22that I'll never hurt you again.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26I'm sorry.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30So, I'm pretentious, am I?
0:48:30 > 0:48:32I didn't mean you. >
0:48:32 > 0:48:34- You're such a hypocrite!- Vicky!
0:48:34 > 0:48:37At least I know what I want out of life.
0:48:37 > 0:48:39Well, so do I.
0:48:39 > 0:48:40Oh, yeah? >
0:48:40 > 0:48:42Well, what's that then? >
0:48:44 > 0:48:46Well, um, um...
0:48:46 > 0:48:48Oh, yeah, yeah! >
0:48:48 > 0:48:52I almost forgot your greatest ambition.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Well, you fucked that one up tonight.
0:48:54 > 0:48:56How?
0:48:58 > 0:49:01Sheera thinks you're gorgeous. >
0:49:01 > 0:49:05If you hadn't been so fucking rude and sent her home... >
0:49:05 > 0:49:06Yes?
0:49:06 > 0:49:10Maybe the three of us could have had some fun. >
0:49:10 > 0:49:11Oh!
0:49:17 > 0:49:19Well, we can invite her round again.
0:49:20 > 0:49:24Oh, yeah(!) I know, let's consult our diaries and find a window.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29You can't plan these things. They just happen and you blew it.
0:49:29 > 0:49:34I would be surprised if Sheera wanted to speak to you now, let alone fuck you.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37I didn't mean to throw HER out,
0:49:37 > 0:49:39just the others.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Danny, you mean.
0:49:42 > 0:49:45Listen, if you can't accept the fact that some of my friends
0:49:45 > 0:49:48have got penises, then this is never going to work.
0:50:25 > 0:50:28That's me done. Fancy a pint?
0:50:28 > 0:50:30Gotta get home and check on the old man.
0:50:33 > 0:50:34Look, mate,
0:50:34 > 0:50:37I'm sorry I've been giving you a hard time about your dad.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41I'm really wound up at the moment. Colin's driving me up the wall.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45So kick him out. It's not like you pay rent or anything. Daddy looks after you.
0:50:45 > 0:50:46Oh, right!
0:50:46 > 0:50:49You didn't mind me asking him to help you out though.
0:50:49 > 0:50:52- Don't know why I bothered.- I do.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55You were looking out for my old man, because you don't think I can.
0:50:55 > 0:50:59Well, here's the thing, Dylan. The Don is not and never will be your dad.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04I saw the look in his eyes when he saw me and Adam.
0:51:04 > 0:51:07You don't honestly think he believes we're not playing?
0:51:07 > 0:51:09- And what if he doesn't? - The team's his whole life!
0:51:09 > 0:51:14Was! And all I'm trying to do is make sure he's got some fucking life left!
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Are you all right?
0:51:23 > 0:51:24Yeah.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27Chefs, eh? Temperamental bastards.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30Unlike musicians, of course(!)
0:51:31 > 0:51:33Are you still playing on Saturday?
0:51:33 > 0:51:37- Are you going to come?- Yep!
0:51:38 > 0:51:39Great!
0:51:42 > 0:51:44You'd better be good.
0:51:48 > 0:51:49Shit!
0:51:51 > 0:51:52Fuck!
0:51:52 > 0:51:53You scared the life out of me.
0:51:53 > 0:51:57- Thought I'd give you a progress report before I go.- OK.
0:51:57 > 0:52:00Well, firstly it's a shame you don't play football any more.
0:52:00 > 0:52:03And this has got what to do with my dad's health?
0:52:03 > 0:52:08It's a medically proven fact that smiling's good for you, and laughter generally therapeutic.
0:52:08 > 0:52:12So I'll get the hospital to replace me with a stand-up comedian.
0:52:12 > 0:52:15Good, because I'm finding it difficult to be around here.
0:52:16 > 0:52:19Hold up, you can't just walk away from him!
0:52:19 > 0:52:20He needs you!
0:52:20 > 0:52:24What he needs is to feel useful, and for you to stop lying to him.
0:52:24 > 0:52:25ENGINE REVS
0:52:25 > 0:52:26Don't you judge me!
0:52:26 > 0:52:30You weren't there when he collapsed, when he was really bad.
0:52:30 > 0:52:35No, I wasn't and maybe this is none of my business.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39I've done my best by him!
0:52:44 > 0:52:46THEY PLAY JAZZ
0:53:18 > 0:53:22God, how long does it take to get a couple of drinks in this place?
0:53:22 > 0:53:25You mean, how long does it take to get the new barman's phone number?
0:53:25 > 0:53:27You didn't!
0:53:27 > 0:53:31Taking a risk playing so close to home, aren't you?
0:53:31 > 0:53:32Maybe I want to get caught.
0:53:32 > 0:53:34- WHISPERS:- Hemale.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36You are such a slut!
0:53:44 > 0:53:47TRADITIONAL FRENCH MELODY PLAYS
0:53:47 > 0:53:50- Well?- What?
0:53:50 > 0:53:52You said you wanted to talk.
0:53:53 > 0:53:56- Yeah, it's about Cass.- Uh-huh.
0:53:58 > 0:54:02Has he talked to you about the baby? You know, how he feels about it?
0:54:02 > 0:54:04Not really.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06Isn't that odd, you being his best friend?
0:54:06 > 0:54:09I dunno. He's thrilled, I know he is.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12Yeah, he WAS thrilled when we first found out.
0:54:12 > 0:54:15Over the past few weeks, he just seems...
0:54:15 > 0:54:19- I don't know, less and less involved.- Right.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21And he's behaving like a complete tart.
0:54:21 > 0:54:22Really?
0:54:23 > 0:54:28Well, come on, he's already admitted it. We've talked about it, sort of.
0:54:28 > 0:54:29Oh, I'm sorry.
0:54:29 > 0:54:32I told him he was completely out of order.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34Thanks.
0:54:34 > 0:54:40Look, I can guarantee this is the only time he has ever done anything like this.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45I mean, her of all people.
0:54:45 > 0:54:47I think it was just they were drunk.
0:54:47 > 0:54:51She was teasing him. She was a challenge, you know. She'd been on television.
0:54:51 > 0:54:53- Television?- Mm.
0:54:53 > 0:54:55Who are you talking about?
0:54:55 > 0:55:01Tina Mellor, the girl he shagged. She was a beach volleyball play...
0:55:01 > 0:55:02Who were you talking about?
0:55:04 > 0:55:06The midwife.
0:55:12 > 0:55:13- Oi!- What?
0:55:13 > 0:55:15Watch what you're doing.
0:55:15 > 0:55:16Apologise to the lady.
0:55:16 > 0:55:19Sorry, Jess.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24So were you going to tell me about this Tina?
0:55:25 > 0:55:29No, of course not. It's just another secret between the lads.
0:55:29 > 0:55:31Can we get out of here?
0:55:49 > 0:55:53We're just off for a game of beach volleyball.
0:55:53 > 0:55:55I'm sleeping at Adam's tonight.
0:55:55 > 0:55:56Don't come near me.
0:56:11 > 0:56:16AS HIS FATHER: All that education, all that tuition and you're a busker!
0:56:17 > 0:56:21You see the thing is with Dad, unless you're the very best at something, there's no point.
0:56:21 > 0:56:23That's why he hates footy.
0:56:24 > 0:56:29He was always crap at it. It's about the only thing I'm better at than him.
0:56:29 > 0:56:31I'm sure that's not true.
0:56:32 > 0:56:34Sorry?
0:56:34 > 0:56:35Give yourself a break.
0:56:35 > 0:56:39You're young, talented, funny...
0:56:40 > 0:56:42Carry on, carry on.
0:56:42 > 0:56:43SHE LAUGHS
0:56:45 > 0:56:48I haven't known you very long,
0:56:48 > 0:56:50but to me you're...
0:56:50 > 0:56:52already a special guy...
0:56:52 > 0:56:54You too.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56Girl. I mean...woman.
0:56:58 > 0:57:00I'm glad you think so...
0:57:02 > 0:57:04..because I'm going to be your stepmother.
0:57:06 > 0:57:08Yeah(!)
0:57:10 > 0:57:12I'm sorry.
0:57:12 > 0:57:14I know this must be a bit of a shock.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16You could say that.
0:57:18 > 0:57:22Why, um...didn't you tell me before?
0:57:23 > 0:57:25Why didn't HE tell me?
0:57:25 > 0:57:29We have been trying. We've just never found the right moment.
0:57:29 > 0:57:32- Oh, and this is the right moment, is it?!- Oh, Dylan, don't be angry.
0:57:32 > 0:57:37- Well, of course I'm fucking angry! - It's so important to your dad you're OK about this.
0:57:37 > 0:57:40Don't tell me, don't tell me. He wants me to be his best man.
0:57:40 > 0:57:43- Dylan!- Yeah, and you want me there on your special day.
0:57:43 > 0:57:46Well, I'm sorry. As usual, HE's the best man.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49He's always the best fucking man.
0:57:49 > 0:57:53Well, you'll have to enjoy your special day without me.
0:57:55 > 0:57:57Dylan!
0:57:57 > 0:58:00# They were asking if you were around
0:58:00 > 0:58:03# How you was Where you could be found
0:58:03 > 0:58:06# Told them you were living downtown
0:58:06 > 0:58:09# Driving all the old men crazy
0:58:09 > 0:58:11# The boys are back in town
0:58:11 > 0:58:12# The boys are back in town
0:58:15 > 0:58:18# I said, the boys are back in to-o-o-own
0:58:18 > 0:58:19# The boys are back in town
0:58:21 > 0:58:22# The boys are back in town
0:58:22 > 0:58:24# The boys are back in town... #
0:58:34 > 0:58:36Dad, are you playing your 500th game again?
0:58:36 > 0:58:37- Yep.- Joe.
0:58:37 > 0:58:40I must have the tidiest bedroom in England.
0:58:41 > 0:58:46- You can't have the car today.- Well, it's Farmyard FC, it's miles away. - I'm having it fumigated.- What?
0:58:47 > 0:58:49Your son found it! "What's this, Mum?"
0:58:49 > 0:58:51"Oh, that's a used condom, son."
0:58:51 > 0:58:54- It wasn't me!- Oh! - You don't think that I did...?
0:58:54 > 0:58:56I didn't think for a minute that it was yours!
0:58:56 > 0:59:01- That you'd have the bloody imagination or energy to cheat on me.- Hang on, sorry...
0:59:01 > 0:59:05- Are you having a go at me, cos I HAVEN'T been cheating on you? - That was in our car!
0:59:05 > 0:59:08The car our children travel in. Does that mean nothing to you?
0:59:09 > 0:59:11Oh, Rosie!
0:59:12 > 0:59:14Bugger!
0:59:17 > 0:59:18Oh, BUGGER!
0:59:31 > 0:59:33Looking for something?
0:59:38 > 0:59:40Have you hidden them?
0:59:42 > 0:59:44Hidden what?
0:59:44 > 0:59:45You know what.
0:59:48 > 0:59:49Football boots?
0:59:51 > 0:59:54I thought they needed a bit of a clean.
0:59:55 > 0:59:57Try looking under your bed.
0:59:59 > 1:00:02Who are you playing today?
1:00:02 > 1:00:05- Farmyard FC.- Shit!
1:00:08 > 1:00:11Bad enough having to look after a cripple all the week,
1:00:11 > 1:00:15without having him spoil your Sunday.
1:00:15 > 1:00:16Is that what it is, eh?
1:00:18 > 1:00:20I didn't intend ending up like this.
1:00:20 > 1:00:23- I'm sorry.- You've got nothing to be sorry about, you hear me?
1:00:26 > 1:00:28I'm a coward, Dad.
1:00:30 > 1:00:32Scared of being on my own.
1:00:34 > 1:00:36I don't think I'm ready for that.
1:00:49 > 1:00:51Remember this?
1:00:51 > 1:00:53Course I bloody do.
1:01:02 > 1:01:04What do you remember?
1:01:06 > 1:01:09The South London Cup. We won 3-1, Cass scored two. I got the other one...
1:01:12 > 1:01:13..on my left foot,
1:01:13 > 1:01:1630 yards, top corner.
1:01:16 > 1:01:18Best goal I ever scored.
1:01:18 > 1:01:20Best day of my life.
1:01:22 > 1:01:24- You didn't want to play that day. - Bollocks!
1:01:25 > 1:01:27You said...
1:01:27 > 1:01:35"It's not right to enjoy myself only two months after my mum's died."
1:01:35 > 1:01:36Two months.
1:01:39 > 1:01:41Christ, you're right.
1:01:41 > 1:01:46And I told you what she would have told you.
1:01:47 > 1:01:50"If you can't have fun having fun..."
1:01:50 > 1:01:52"Then you'd better enjoy being miserable."
1:01:52 > 1:01:54Hm.
1:01:54 > 1:01:58She did come out with some crap, didn't she?
1:02:02 > 1:02:04Well...
1:02:04 > 1:02:06I'll be gone,
1:02:06 > 1:02:09sometime or other.
1:02:09 > 1:02:14Might as well enjoy what there is, while I'm here to enjoy it.
1:02:18 > 1:02:21So, um...don't be scared...
1:02:21 > 1:02:24cos I ain't.
1:02:26 > 1:02:28What have you got to be scared about?
1:02:28 > 1:02:32Having the shit kicked out of you by Farmyard FC?
1:02:56 > 1:02:57You're going down!
1:03:02 > 1:03:03ALL: Hey!
1:03:04 > 1:03:06You going to use the changing room?
1:03:06 > 1:03:07Yeah, right(!)
1:03:12 > 1:03:15- Oi! Come on! - We'll make the second half.
1:03:15 > 1:03:18- You're all still playing?- Yeah.
1:03:18 > 1:03:20Adam, Cass, Dylan?
1:03:20 > 1:03:22Colin, Billy - all the originals.
1:03:22 > 1:03:24- And guess what.- What?
1:03:25 > 1:03:27This is our 500th match.
1:03:27 > 1:03:29No fucking shit!
1:03:36 > 1:03:38HE WHOOPS LIKE A MONKEY
1:03:40 > 1:03:43If we have to cancel, this lot will kick the shit out of us.
1:04:07 > 1:04:08Dylan.
1:04:15 > 1:04:17Hi.
1:04:22 > 1:04:23So that's five of us.
1:04:25 > 1:04:28So, you had your threesome yet?
1:04:29 > 1:04:33You can't just plan these things, Toby. They just happen, you know.
1:04:33 > 1:04:36- Or not, in your case. - Yeah, well at least I didn't try and snog my mother.
1:04:49 > 1:04:51- Ulgh!- Ah!- Ooh!
1:04:51 > 1:04:54Ha ha ha! Got ya!
1:04:57 > 1:04:59Refs a no-show, so I'm in charge.
1:04:59 > 1:05:01Anyone got a problem with that?
1:05:01 > 1:05:05- Not me. - No, no, I'm sure you'll be fair.
1:05:05 > 1:05:07Go ahead.
1:05:13 > 1:05:16Oh! Here comes the cavalry.
1:05:26 > 1:05:27He hasn't got his kit.
1:05:27 > 1:05:31I don't think he's here to play football.
1:05:38 > 1:05:43- Jesus, what happened to your eye? - Never mind that! What happened to you and my girlfriend?
1:05:43 > 1:05:45- It wasn't what you thought. - Too fucking right!
1:05:45 > 1:05:49- I thought you were my friend. You never gave up on her, did you?- What?
1:05:49 > 1:05:51- Waiting for me to fuck up! - Calm down, guys.
1:05:51 > 1:05:55- Calm down? This bastard slept with Kate last night.- Let me explain.- Nothing to explain.
1:05:55 > 1:05:59- I took her off you. You could never cope with that. - It wasn't like that.
1:05:59 > 1:06:03- Really? So, why did you tell her about the volleyball girl? - Volleyball girl?
1:06:03 > 1:06:08I didn't mean to. It only came up because she was upset you and the fucking midwife.
1:06:08 > 1:06:12- Midwife? Bloody hell.- Anyone else we should know about, so we don't drop you in it?
1:06:12 > 1:06:14It this a "midwife crisis"?
1:06:16 > 1:06:19She kissed me last night because she was upset with you!
1:06:19 > 1:06:23- Well, you looked like you were enjoying it enough!- I wasn't! I don't...
1:06:24 > 1:06:27Why can't you open your fucking eyes, Cass?
1:06:27 > 1:06:29He's a queer.
1:06:29 > 1:06:31Hey, watch what you're saying!
1:06:31 > 1:06:34No, he's right!
1:06:34 > 1:06:36I'm queer, Cass.
1:06:36 > 1:06:38You're...
1:06:38 > 1:06:40I mean...
1:06:40 > 1:06:41Yeah, but you and Kate...
1:06:43 > 1:06:46I thought you were...
1:06:48 > 1:06:49Well, that's great!
1:06:49 > 1:06:51I think.
1:06:51 > 1:06:53ENGINE GROWLS
1:06:59 > 1:07:00Hey!
1:07:00 > 1:07:03"THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN" PLAYS FROM STEREO
1:07:03 > 1:07:04I'm sorry I'm late!
1:07:04 > 1:07:07Don't bother. We don't play with queers.
1:07:07 > 1:07:11Well, who are you calling queer? You're all a bunch of queers!
1:07:11 > 1:07:13BILLY LAUGHS
1:07:22 > 1:07:24# Guess who just got back today?
1:07:24 > 1:07:27# Them wild-eyed boys that had been away
1:07:28 > 1:07:30# Haven't changed Haven't much to say
1:07:30 > 1:07:33# But man, I still think them cats are crazy... #
1:07:35 > 1:07:38Fucking car!
1:07:39 > 1:07:42Be lucky to make the final whistle at this rate.
1:07:42 > 1:07:44Doesn't matter.
1:07:44 > 1:07:48There'll be other games.
1:07:48 > 1:07:50The lads are still playing.
1:07:54 > 1:07:55Right.
1:08:00 > 1:08:01Away we go!
1:08:01 > 1:08:04WOMAN SINGS GENTLE JAZZ MELODY
1:08:18 > 1:08:20Kate!
1:08:20 > 1:08:21Kate!
1:08:21 > 1:08:23You're back early.
1:08:23 > 1:08:24Didn't play.
1:08:27 > 1:08:29How long have you known that Adam's gay?
1:08:29 > 1:08:31He told you?
1:08:32 > 1:08:34About bloody time.
1:08:34 > 1:08:37He told me, because I accused him of sleeping with you last night.
1:08:37 > 1:08:40- Yeah, well, now you know he didn't. - Where are you going?
1:08:40 > 1:08:42Manchester for a while.
1:08:42 > 1:08:44So that's it, is it?
1:08:44 > 1:08:47What about your job, and us?
1:08:47 > 1:08:50After three years, you can't just run back to your family.
1:08:50 > 1:08:52You stupid fucking bastard!
1:08:52 > 1:08:54You're my family. This is my family!
1:08:54 > 1:08:57- Calm down! Think about the... - The baby!
1:08:57 > 1:08:59You're telling ME to think about the baby?
1:08:59 > 1:09:03I told you that nothing, nothing else mattered to me more than this baby.
1:09:03 > 1:09:07- I love you.- Yeah, I fucking love you too, but that's not enough, is it?
1:09:07 > 1:09:11I'll get the rest of my things when I've found somewhere to stay.
1:09:11 > 1:09:12Bye.
1:09:16 > 1:09:17DOOR SLAMS
1:09:24 > 1:09:28Mummy said people who get into fights are emotionally constipated.
1:09:33 > 1:09:34Well, Mummy's right.
1:09:34 > 1:09:38Mummies are always right. That's part of their job description.
1:09:38 > 1:09:43- Billy, it's Adam.- Oh! I've told him, I don't wanna play any more.
1:09:43 > 1:09:46I think you should talk to him.
1:09:51 > 1:09:54CHURCH BELL RINGS
1:10:10 > 1:10:12At least I might get a word in edgeways now.
1:10:14 > 1:10:18Most of you know that the Don wasn't my real father.
1:10:20 > 1:10:23He adopted me when he married my lovely mum.
1:10:23 > 1:10:25I was five years old.
1:10:26 > 1:10:31From that day, he just kinda took my hand and never let go.
1:10:34 > 1:10:36Dad was a man of few words.
1:10:36 > 1:10:41I mean, he never stopped talking, but he used very few words.
1:10:42 > 1:10:45I won't repeat his favourites as there's ladies present.
1:10:46 > 1:10:49And...he'd get angry.
1:10:50 > 1:10:54All of you who played football with him know how angry he could get,
1:10:54 > 1:11:01not if we lost, but if we didn't play as a team,
1:11:01 > 1:11:03for each other.
1:11:05 > 1:11:09These past few months, I've let him down.
1:11:13 > 1:11:15I was only thinking of myself.
1:11:18 > 1:11:22I didn't want to be hurt so I hurt him instead.
1:11:24 > 1:11:26He never hurt anybody.
1:11:28 > 1:11:31He said life was too short for falling out with folk.
1:11:33 > 1:11:35So he lived his whole life for me...
1:11:38 > 1:11:40..for his friends...
1:11:41 > 1:11:43..for his wife...
1:11:43 > 1:11:45for his lads.
1:11:47 > 1:11:50Coach, Dad,
1:11:50 > 1:11:53my best friend,
1:11:53 > 1:11:56thank you for holding my hand.
1:11:56 > 1:11:58Wherever you are,
1:11:58 > 1:12:01I'm still holding yours.
1:12:01 > 1:12:03GENTLE JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS
1:12:03 > 1:12:04PEOPLE CHAT
1:12:11 > 1:12:14- Remember?- Mm.- Last year?- Mm-hm.
1:12:16 > 1:12:18Oh, cheers, Colin.
1:12:18 > 1:12:21- Not the best way to spend your birthday, eh, mate?- Shh!
1:12:21 > 1:12:23Everyone's forgotten about it right, so, just...
1:12:30 > 1:12:31I've been worried about you, man.
1:12:34 > 1:12:36You've been worrying about me?
1:12:42 > 1:12:45- Don't suppose you're going back to work, then?- No chance.
1:12:57 > 1:12:59Known him for...
1:12:59 > 1:13:01He certainly had a big fan club.
1:13:02 > 1:13:03Yeah.
1:13:03 > 1:13:09Well, under all that tough macho effing and blinding there was one fucking big-hearted bastard.
1:13:09 > 1:13:11Yeah.
1:13:12 > 1:13:15You sure you were adopted?
1:13:50 > 1:13:53Shame we never got to play the 500th.
1:13:53 > 1:13:55Doesn't seem much point now.
1:14:06 > 1:14:10- Where is she, mate?- She came back to pay her respects, OK?
1:14:11 > 1:14:13She was fond of Don.
1:14:13 > 1:14:14Right.
1:14:14 > 1:14:17She's gotta talk to me at some point though, don't she?
1:14:17 > 1:14:20I've been ringing her for days. She won't take my calls.
1:14:20 > 1:14:21Do you blame her?
1:14:21 > 1:14:24I thought maybe you'd have a word.
1:14:24 > 1:14:26What, now you know it's safe?
1:14:30 > 1:14:33Did you really never guess?
1:14:33 > 1:14:37Hey, it's the 21st century. I thought you might've told me by now.
1:14:37 > 1:14:40I mean, you told me you were black.
1:14:41 > 1:14:43I know. I know.
1:14:44 > 1:14:49It's just the longer I didn't tell you, the harder it got, you know?
1:14:50 > 1:14:53- Anyway, I thought you'd work it out for yourself.- How?
1:14:53 > 1:14:56Come on! Wasn't it weird I hadn't had a girlfriend since Kate?
1:14:56 > 1:14:59I just thought you'd never got over her.
1:14:59 > 1:15:01What, so you thought I was just some sad bastard?
1:15:01 > 1:15:02Yeah.
1:15:04 > 1:15:07Right. Well, let me tell you, I have had my moments.
1:15:07 > 1:15:08Yeah, I'll bet.
1:15:08 > 1:15:11That's the best thing about being gay, right? Loads of nookie!
1:15:11 > 1:15:15- Yeah, loads of nookie. - What about lurve?
1:15:15 > 1:15:17- Not really.- What, ever?
1:15:18 > 1:15:21- Long time ago.- What happened?
1:15:21 > 1:15:23Nothing happened.
1:15:23 > 1:15:25Got over it.
1:15:28 > 1:15:31She's gone back to your place to pick up some stuff
1:15:31 > 1:15:34and then she's going straight back to Manchester, OK.
1:15:34 > 1:15:36I love you, man.
1:15:36 > 1:15:38Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah(!)
1:16:05 > 1:16:06Kate.
1:16:30 > 1:16:32Are you coming in or what?
1:16:34 > 1:16:36I thought you had things to say to me.
1:16:36 > 1:16:39Adam called you?
1:16:39 > 1:16:40What do you think?
1:17:00 > 1:17:01DOORBELL RINGS
1:17:11 > 1:17:13- Are you all right, babe?- Yeah.
1:17:13 > 1:17:15Be nice to Danny. It's his birthday too.
1:17:15 > 1:17:17Yes!
1:17:17 > 1:17:19Come on!
1:17:24 > 1:17:26DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
1:17:27 > 1:17:28Huh?
1:17:28 > 1:17:31- I'll get you a drink!- OK.
1:17:33 > 1:17:35# Yeah yeah yeah
1:17:35 > 1:17:37# Yeah yeah yeah... #
1:17:41 > 1:17:45- Hey, birthday boy!- Don't remind me!
1:17:45 > 1:17:48Chill, man. You're only young once, you know.
1:17:48 > 1:17:50# Yeah yeah yeah
1:17:53 > 1:17:54# Yeah yeah yeah... #
1:17:54 > 1:17:56Come and have a dance, yeah?
1:18:00 > 1:18:02- Hey!- Hey!
1:18:04 > 1:18:06Happy birthday!
1:18:20 > 1:18:22# Yeah yeah yeah... #
1:18:41 > 1:18:43Do you remember when I came to the hospital with you,
1:18:43 > 1:18:46and you said you were worried and I was joking around?
1:18:46 > 1:18:50I so wanted to say that I was worried too - scared.
1:18:50 > 1:18:52You're supposed to be scared.
1:18:52 > 1:18:54If you weren't, you wouldn't be any good at it.
1:18:54 > 1:18:57So you reckon I might be good at it, then?
1:18:59 > 1:19:02- You should have told me. - What was I supposed to say?
1:19:02 > 1:19:05I was having second thoughts about the baby. That would've just upset you.
1:19:05 > 1:19:08Oh, so you decided to not upset me by shagging someone else!
1:19:08 > 1:19:11I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What else can I say?
1:19:11 > 1:19:16I've just been bottling everything up, feeling confused, feeling sorry for myself.
1:19:16 > 1:19:20She was there, I was there. I was weak. It was sordid and meaningless
1:19:20 > 1:19:23and I've never regretted anything so much.
1:19:23 > 1:19:25- Only because you got found out. - No, no,
1:19:25 > 1:19:27because of what it did to you, because I hurt you,
1:19:27 > 1:19:31and I hate anybody who hurts you and because...
1:19:31 > 1:19:36and because I had everything that I ever wanted and now...
1:19:36 > 1:19:37now I have nothing.
1:19:43 > 1:19:45Yeah, you're right.
1:19:45 > 1:19:47Poor you.
1:19:49 > 1:19:51Let's put it all behind us.
1:19:52 > 1:19:54Is that what I'm supposed to say?
1:19:54 > 1:19:58Then tell me, what can I do?
1:19:58 > 1:20:03What can I do to prove to you that I'm ready...to be a dad?
1:20:05 > 1:20:07To be with you.
1:20:20 > 1:20:24# Like water
1:20:24 > 1:20:28# On my skin
1:20:28 > 1:20:33# You are drowning
1:20:34 > 1:20:37# I offer
1:20:37 > 1:20:40# My hand
1:20:41 > 1:20:46# But I'm afraid you'll pull me in
1:20:47 > 1:20:50# I don't want to live
1:20:50 > 1:20:53# To count for anything
1:20:54 > 1:21:00# The sun inside me
1:21:00 > 1:21:04# I don't want today
1:21:04 > 1:21:07# To count for anything
1:21:07 > 1:21:11# Will you let me be in
1:21:11 > 1:21:16# Lo-o-o-ove
1:21:16 > 1:21:22# Is a kick in the head
1:21:26 > 1:21:28# Lo-o-o-ove... #
1:21:28 > 1:21:30MUSIC DISTORTS AND STOPS
1:22:40 > 1:22:42- HE MOUTHS:- Fuck!
1:22:57 > 1:23:00- HE MOUTHS:- Oh, Jesus Christ!
1:23:02 > 1:23:05Yes!
1:23:10 > 1:23:15- God, how much sugar are you having? - Well, I need to replenish my energy.
1:23:15 > 1:23:19Oh, really? Why's that, then?
1:23:20 > 1:23:23Oh, all that dancing, whoo!
1:23:23 > 1:23:26Yeah, and...after.
1:23:29 > 1:23:31- Vicks?- Mm.
1:23:33 > 1:23:37You, me and Sheera, we did...?
1:23:38 > 1:23:40- Didn't we?- Did what?
1:23:42 > 1:23:44Don't piss me about. I have to know.
1:23:44 > 1:23:49- Know what?- Did I have a threesome?
1:23:49 > 1:23:52Did YOU have a threesome?
1:23:52 > 1:23:56- No, I mean, did WE have a threesome? - It's always about you, isn't it?
1:23:56 > 1:24:01Nothing to do with "living life to the full" or "expanding your horizons"?
1:24:01 > 1:24:05Just have to tick it off on your list to impress the lads.
1:24:05 > 1:24:07- That's out of order.- Oh, really?
1:24:07 > 1:24:12So would you be satisfied if I told your team-mates we'd had a threesome?
1:24:12 > 1:24:16- Could you?- Even if you never found out whether we did or not?- Yes!
1:24:18 > 1:24:19No!
1:24:19 > 1:24:21Stop confusing me.
1:24:21 > 1:24:25- Morning. - Morning. Look, did we or didn't we?
1:24:25 > 1:24:28Did we what?
1:24:33 > 1:24:36BRASS BAND PLAYS
1:24:41 > 1:24:45Athletico Greenwich have never won the Premiership, never been in Europe,
1:24:45 > 1:24:50never been in the FA Cup, but today, the eyes of the world are upon them.
1:24:50 > 1:24:55Today they play their 500th match and, uniquely, six of their players
1:24:55 > 1:24:58have been involved right from the beginning, 20 years ago.
1:24:58 > 1:25:03The game is in honour of the man who started it all, the late Don Robson,
1:25:03 > 1:25:08a fitting tribute to a real local character, who was loved by the team and community alike.
1:25:10 > 1:25:13- Hey! Hello, man.- How you doing?
1:25:13 > 1:25:15Good to see you too, mate.
1:25:15 > 1:25:16All right, mate.
1:25:16 > 1:25:18Right then, is this it?
1:25:18 > 1:25:19HE LAUGHS
1:25:19 > 1:25:21Look at the boy!
1:25:21 > 1:25:24Oh, mate.
1:25:24 > 1:25:27- Hello.- Hiya.
1:25:27 > 1:25:29You off?
1:25:32 > 1:25:34Hey, the boy!
1:25:43 > 1:25:46He would have loved all this, eh?
1:26:02 > 1:26:04He'd have been chuffed you came.
1:26:04 > 1:26:10Oh, I didn't just come for the Don. I came to see what a pig's ear you'd make of organising this.
1:26:10 > 1:26:13- Hi!- Hello, mate.- Are you his girlfriend?
1:26:13 > 1:26:15THEY LAUGH
1:26:15 > 1:26:16Wha-hey!
1:26:28 > 1:26:29What are you doing here?
1:26:30 > 1:26:33Well, Johnny told us it was your last game.
1:26:33 > 1:26:35Yeah, it is.
1:26:36 > 1:26:38A special day.
1:26:39 > 1:26:40Yep.
1:26:41 > 1:26:44He also tells me that you're off to Europe.
1:26:44 > 1:26:45In a few weeks.
1:26:45 > 1:26:47Good.
1:26:48 > 1:26:52I mean, the wedding's next week.
1:26:54 > 1:26:55Right.
1:26:55 > 1:26:57Right.
1:27:02 > 1:27:04Well...
1:27:04 > 1:27:06I don't think I've got anything else on.
1:27:08 > 1:27:10- I'd be delighted to come.- Good!- Good!
1:27:10 > 1:27:12Good, settled then.
1:27:22 > 1:27:25Congratulations.
1:27:25 > 1:27:27Thank you.
1:27:33 > 1:27:34Right.
1:27:36 > 1:27:39See this round white thing?
1:27:39 > 1:27:42Huh? This is the football.
1:28:07 > 1:28:09- OK?- That's great, thank you.
1:28:09 > 1:28:12- Lovely. Thanks, mate. - Thanks. Be with you in a minute.
1:28:12 > 1:28:13Cassidy's an unusual name.
1:28:13 > 1:28:16Not if your mum was a fan of The Partridge Family.
1:28:16 > 1:28:21- So, what do you like doing to unwind, apart from football, of course?- Oh, lots of things.
1:28:21 > 1:28:22I'll bet.
1:28:22 > 1:28:26Breathing exercises, painting the nursery, shopping for baby clothes...
1:28:26 > 1:28:28Ah!
1:28:28 > 1:28:29Right.
1:28:31 > 1:28:33THEY LAUGH
1:28:33 > 1:28:34Oi!
1:28:34 > 1:28:37- What?- Leave my bird alone. - What, are you gonna make me?- Yeah.
1:28:37 > 1:28:40- Huh?- Ey, ey, ey!- Come on then.- Ey!
1:28:40 > 1:28:41Ah!
1:28:43 > 1:28:45- Shall we ask him now?- What?
1:28:45 > 1:28:47We want you to be godfather.
1:28:47 > 1:28:51You want a sad bastard to be godfather to your child?
1:28:51 > 1:28:55Hey, if he turns out to be half the man you are, I'll be very proud.
1:28:55 > 1:28:59- What if it's a girl? - Well, if he turns out to be half the girl you are...
1:28:59 > 1:29:02CASS LAUGHS
1:29:02 > 1:29:04I knew you two would sort it out.
1:29:04 > 1:29:08Hang on. This bastard's the father of my child. There's nothing I can do about that.
1:29:08 > 1:29:12Sometimes, just sometimes, he makes me happy.
1:29:14 > 1:29:15But?
1:29:15 > 1:29:18Well, sometimes isn't enough.
1:29:18 > 1:29:20One day at a time, hey?
1:29:23 > 1:29:25Hey, aren't you two here to play a football match?
1:29:25 > 1:29:28Pff.
1:29:28 > 1:29:31So I showered with a poof for 20 years and didn't know it.
1:29:31 > 1:29:33Hey, don't worry, mate. I never fancied you.
1:29:33 > 1:29:35Good!
1:29:37 > 1:29:39Why not?
1:29:39 > 1:29:43Anyway, Freud reckoned all team sports are an expression of latent homosexuality.
1:29:43 > 1:29:45Yeah, well Freud never met Vinnie Jones!
1:29:46 > 1:29:48Hi, guys!
1:29:48 > 1:29:49ALL: Hi, Vicky!
1:29:49 > 1:29:51We just wanted to wish you luck.
1:29:51 > 1:29:53Oh, by the way, this is Sheera.
1:29:54 > 1:29:55ALL: Hi, Sheera!
1:29:55 > 1:29:57Break a leg, everyone.
1:30:00 > 1:30:02ALL: Hmm...
1:30:02 > 1:30:05Hang on, you don't mean you actually...?
1:30:05 > 1:30:06You and...?
1:30:06 > 1:30:08Wouldn't you like to know?
1:30:08 > 1:30:11THEY LAUGH
1:30:11 > 1:30:13I bloody well would.
1:30:13 > 1:30:15ALL: Shee-ra! Shee-ra!
1:30:15 > 1:30:17ALL: Shee-ra! Shee-ra!
1:30:17 > 1:30:18- ALL: Shee-ra!- Ready?
1:30:18 > 1:30:20Come on, guys. One last time!
1:30:20 > 1:30:22THEY CHEER
1:30:30 > 1:30:33- I can't believe this is it. - I know.
1:30:33 > 1:30:35Well, it had to end sometime.
1:30:35 > 1:30:37Yeah.
1:30:40 > 1:30:41You know,
1:30:41 > 1:30:44we could just play one more game after this.
1:30:45 > 1:30:47Yep.
1:30:48 > 1:30:50- Billy's right.- What do you mean?
1:30:50 > 1:30:52We could just play once a year,
1:30:52 > 1:30:54as a memorial...
1:30:56 > 1:30:58..for the Don.
1:30:59 > 1:31:00Yeah.
1:31:00 > 1:31:04- ON PA SYSTEM:- 'Ladies and gentlemen, Athletico Greenwich!'
1:31:04 > 1:31:07ALL: Come on! Yeah!
1:31:10 > 1:31:13# Guess who just got back today
1:31:13 > 1:31:16# Them wild-eyed boys that had been away
1:31:17 > 1:31:19# Haven't changed Haven't much to say
1:31:19 > 1:31:22# But man, I still think them cats are crazy
1:31:22 > 1:31:24# They were asking if you were around
1:31:24 > 1:31:27# How you was Where you could be found
1:31:27 > 1:31:30# Told them you were living downtown
1:31:30 > 1:31:33# Driving all the old men crazy
1:31:33 > 1:31:35# The boys are back in town
1:31:35 > 1:31:36# The boys are back in town
1:31:39 > 1:31:42# I said the boys are back in to-o-o-o-o-own
1:31:42 > 1:31:44# The boys are back in town
1:31:45 > 1:31:46# The boys are back in town
1:31:46 > 1:31:48# The boys are back in town
1:31:48 > 1:31:49# The boys are back in town
1:31:49 > 1:31:51# The boys are back in town
1:32:02 > 1:32:03# The boys are back in town
1:32:03 > 1:32:05# The boys are back in town
1:32:07 > 1:32:11# I said the boys are back in to-o-o-o-own
1:32:11 > 1:32:12# The boys are back in town
1:32:13 > 1:32:15# The boys are back in town
1:32:15 > 1:32:16# The boys are back in town
1:32:16 > 1:32:18# The boys are back in town... #
1:32:45 > 1:32:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
1:32:47 > 1:32:49E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk