Up in the World

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0:00:09 > 0:00:14# I've a feeling of being so up in the world

0:00:14 > 0:00:18# When I'm walking out with you

0:00:18 > 0:00:21# Up in the world is the feeling I get

0:00:21 > 0:00:25# Even talking about you

0:00:25 > 0:00:29# I pray I've made a good impression

0:00:29 > 0:00:33# You're my obsession

0:00:33 > 0:00:36# Forever

0:00:36 > 0:00:39# Let our hearts take flight together

0:00:39 > 0:00:45# Up in the world! #

0:01:39 > 0:01:43What's going on?! Someone's blocked up my window!

0:01:43 > 0:01:47Bloody Nora! I can't see a thing!

0:01:48 > 0:01:50CACOPHONY

0:02:09 > 0:02:12Morning. Morning.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Morning.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18Push it.

0:02:22 > 0:02:29- Well?- Harper says the window cleaner in Banderville Park has had an accident - as arranged.- Good.

0:02:31 > 0:02:32Lady Banderville will cough up 50,000.

0:02:32 > 0:02:37- She'll cough up anything to get her boy back.- We ain't got him yet.

0:02:37 > 0:02:44- We shall.- The place is guarded like a ruddy prison. You need a pass. - The new window cleaner will get one.

0:02:44 > 0:02:51- That job comes up at the labour exchange tomorrow. Who's going for it?- You are.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55- Suppose somebody beats me to it. - Don't let someone beat you to it.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48- I'm having that job. - Who says so?- I did.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Who wants a job, anyway?

0:04:08 > 0:04:10What's this queue for?

0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Nothing.- Oh, yeah?

0:05:23 > 0:05:27Thanks for keeping my place. You can have yours back now.

0:05:28 > 0:05:33Who are you pushing and shoving? You all make me so wild!

0:05:34 > 0:05:37All right. Come on.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39ALL: Hey!

0:05:43 > 0:05:46So you couldn't even get a job as a window cleaner.

0:05:46 > 0:05:52- I was double-crossed, Mick. But if I get my hands on that little...- Forget it.

0:05:52 > 0:05:58- What happens now?- So another window cleaner meets with an accident.

0:06:06 > 0:06:11KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

0:06:14 > 0:06:20- Morning. They sent me here. - From the labour exchange?- Yeah.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Window cleaner for Banderville Park.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26- Last job?- Well, to do with windows.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29Reason for leaving?

0:06:29 > 0:06:33- Er... Resigned.- Yeah.

0:06:33 > 0:06:39I handle security for Lady Banderville. Every member of staff has to be vetted by me.

0:06:39 > 0:06:46- She's obsessed that her son, little Sir Reginald, will be kidnapped. - I wouldn't do that!

0:06:46 > 0:06:52- The last one who tried is in prison. Have you got a photograph of yourself?- What for?

0:06:52 > 0:06:58For your pass. You'll need one to get in and out of Banderville Park.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01- I haven't got one. - We'll do that later.

0:07:02 > 0:07:08- What are you doing?!- I've got to put your fingerprints on the pass.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Now, do your four fingers.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14No! No!

0:07:14 > 0:07:18- I mean the forefingers of each hand.- Oh!

0:07:18 > 0:07:21No! No! No.

0:07:23 > 0:07:24You don't understand.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Look. That's a forefinger.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30The index finger. Stick that on.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Marvellous(!)

0:07:41 > 0:07:44Give me your hand.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Put YOUR finger on the pad.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57On the pad!

0:07:58 > 0:08:00That's right.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Now press it on the card.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11Well, that will do very nicely.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Very well. You may go.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18I'm sorry. I'm...

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Er...

0:08:32 > 0:08:35Yoo-hoo!

0:08:35 > 0:08:38ELECTRICAL CRACKLE

0:09:02 > 0:09:20BELL RINGS

0:09:20 > 0:09:22DOGS BARK

0:09:22 > 0:09:29ALARM BLARES

0:09:29 > 0:09:30ALARM STOPS

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Afternoon.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Off with you before I give you this!

0:09:37 > 0:09:41What happened? That, sir.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44And what is that?

0:09:44 > 0:09:49I'm Norman, the new window cleaner.

0:09:49 > 0:09:54- You should have been here at nine! - Why? What happened?- ..Your pass.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58I'm not getting caught again!

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Admit him.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Jump to it!

0:10:07 > 0:10:10All right, men. Dismissed!

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Report to my office forthwith.

0:10:15 > 0:10:20- Who's that on the horse?- Major Willoughby, the estate manager.

0:10:20 > 0:10:26- Where's his office?- Along the drive. - Very far?- About three miles.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29What time is the next bus, then?

0:10:41 > 0:10:44< CAR HORN BEEPS

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Milady.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54< BICYCLE BELL RINGS

0:10:54 > 0:10:58Good afternoon, Jeannie. Afternoon, Tom.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Was that her ladyship? Aye.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Och, I know you well enough. Bye.

0:11:07 > 0:11:11- Who's that dreadful-looking man? - Don't know, milady.

0:11:13 > 0:11:14Drive on.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Hey!

0:11:19 > 0:11:22- HE WHISTLES - Oi! What about a lift?

0:11:30 > 0:11:32GUNSHOT

0:11:34 > 0:11:40- Did it hurt?- Did it hurt(?) - Can't catch me! - I'll give you "did it hurt"!

0:11:40 > 0:11:43HE WHOOPS

0:11:45 > 0:11:48I'll give you whoo-whoo!

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Help! Let me down!

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Help!

0:11:58 > 0:12:02Let me down! Go on. Let me down!

0:12:02 > 0:12:05- You look better upside down!- Oh!

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Oh! Help!

0:12:08 > 0:12:11Oh, no! >

0:12:11 > 0:12:14Let me down! >

0:12:14 > 0:12:18Is anybody about?! Help! >

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Hey! Hey!

0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Well, hello.- Good afternoon, miss.

0:12:25 > 0:12:30- Whatever are you doing?- Hanging around.- Admiring the view?

0:12:30 > 0:12:36- It swept me off me feet. - I won't disturb you. - Don't go! I'm stuck up here.

0:12:36 > 0:12:43- Who are you?- Norman, the new window cleaner. A little boy...- I can guess.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46- Let's see.- If you can push me up,

0:12:46 > 0:12:49I could get me feet loose...

0:12:49 > 0:12:50AAGH!

0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Are you all right?- Yes, thank you.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Thank you.

0:12:58 > 0:13:05- When I get my hands on that little devil...- You know who that little devil is.- No. Who?- Sir Reginald.

0:13:05 > 0:13:10- He's Sir Re..? He ought to be kidnapped!- He's not so bad really.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13- I hope Harold's all right.- Harold?

0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Whatever's that?- He won't hurt you.

0:13:16 > 0:13:21- He's Harold, my hamster. - He's darling.- He's nice, isn't he?

0:13:21 > 0:13:24He's my mate.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26He's taken quite a fancy to you.

0:13:26 > 0:13:31Well...I think we'd better get up to the house.

0:13:32 > 0:13:36- I'll leave you here. - You've been very kind.

0:13:36 > 0:13:42- I hope I see you again. - You will. I work here. - What's your name?- Jeannie.

0:13:42 > 0:13:47- Hurry. The major doesn't like to wait.- I'm not afraid of him.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Give your windows a good spit and polish.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56I'm gonna need an awful lot of spit!

0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Bye.- Bye.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03KNOCK ON DOOR > Come in.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09Well, I got here!

0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Sir!- Just call me Norman.

0:14:12 > 0:14:17Stand to attention. Thumbs in line with the seam of the trousers!

0:14:25 > 0:14:29Atten-tion! ..That's better.

0:14:31 > 0:14:37- You may be aware Lady Banderville has a son.- I'm aware.- A fine boy.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40The apple of his mother's eye. And remember...

0:14:40 > 0:14:46- Sir Reginald is always right.- Even if..?- Sir Reginald is always right!

0:14:48 > 0:14:54The ladder house and the equipment therein are your responsibility.

0:14:54 > 0:15:01Ladders must be locked away... to keep intruders out, and keep Sir Reginald in.

0:15:03 > 0:15:09Follow my example and Sir Reginald will respect you, as he respects me.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12Now, the key to the ladder house.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16Sir Reginald is always right!

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Right!

0:15:19 > 0:15:24- Keep to the path. The ladder house is in front of the trees.- Right!

0:15:45 > 0:15:48PHONE RINGS

0:15:50 > 0:15:53Hello. ..Yes, milady.

0:15:53 > 0:15:58Sir Reginald says that Saturday will be our first football match.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Yes, your ladyship. Splendid. < WHISTLING

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Hey, Major!

0:16:04 > 0:16:06Major!

0:16:06 > 0:16:10Will you excuse me a moment, your ladyship? Thank you.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12Hey! Major!

0:16:12 > 0:16:17- Sssh! What?- There's a hole in this bucket, and I need a new leather!

0:16:17 > 0:16:20We'll attend to it in the morning!

0:16:22 > 0:16:26- And another thing... - Stop shouting and go away!

0:16:30 > 0:16:33And keep off the grass!

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Yes, your ladyship.

0:16:43 > 0:16:48WHISTLING Yes, your ladyship. Yes indeed.

0:16:49 > 0:16:53Hey! Major! Major!

0:16:53 > 0:16:57Will you forgive me once more, your ladyship? Thank you.

0:16:57 > 0:17:01- < WHISTLING - Hey!

0:17:02 > 0:17:05What about water? Where's the tap?

0:17:05 > 0:17:09At the back of the ladder house. And STOP SHOUTING!

0:17:12 > 0:17:15And KEEP OFF THE GRASS!

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Hey! Major! Major! MAJOR!

0:17:29 > 0:17:30Yes?

0:17:33 > 0:17:35Thank heaven she's gone!

0:17:35 > 0:17:39'I'm still here. Are you? Hello?'

0:17:41 > 0:17:43- 'Hello?'- Yes, your ladyship.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46MAJOR! MAJO-OR!

0:17:51 > 0:17:56CRASHING Will you excuse me, your ladyship?

0:17:59 > 0:18:05- Now what?- I left me cap up there. Chuck it down, will you?- Your cap!

0:18:13 > 0:18:17- What time in the morning? - I've told you - 7.30 sharp!

0:18:17 > 0:18:20Oh. Give us a shout about seven.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25And keep off the gr..!

0:18:40 > 0:18:45- Where are you off to?- The staff hall, sir.- This is the wrong way.

0:18:45 > 0:18:51- I was told first right, first left. - No. First left, first right. There.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53- Thank you, sir.- Don't mention it.

0:18:57 > 0:19:04- Is Lady Banderville playing bridge today?- Rather, Colonel. She's just a teeny bit late.

0:19:04 > 0:19:05Ellen!

0:19:10 > 0:19:15- I was looking forward to a game. - You're a good player.- Thank you.

0:19:15 > 0:19:21- Good afternoon. You are..?- Norman. - How do you do?- How do you do?

0:19:21 > 0:19:26- I've been told to make myself at home.- Do, my dear boy. Mingle!

0:19:26 > 0:19:30Mingle. That's what I'll do. Mingle!

0:19:30 > 0:19:33- See you later. And you. - How do you do?

0:19:35 > 0:19:38Let's get started, eh? I'm Norman.

0:19:38 > 0:19:42- Good afternoon.- Afternoon. Look at all this lot!

0:19:42 > 0:19:44It is nice, but it always is here.

0:19:44 > 0:19:48Ain't you gonna have none? Get this down you.

0:19:48 > 0:19:54- Don't you think..?- It's nearly half past four. Go on. You have one.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56There you are.

0:19:57 > 0:20:01Jam roll! ..Sorry. Bit of a scramble, innit?

0:20:01 > 0:20:05Ain't you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14No, I don't care.

0:20:18 > 0:20:23You hand these round. That's your job, innit? I'll bet ya!

0:20:23 > 0:20:30- You're dressed to kill. It's your day off. I'll bet you're Cookie. - I've never been called Cookie!

0:20:30 > 0:20:33I can tell! I can guess all of you!

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Good old urn. Urn!

0:20:36 > 0:20:39You'll get used to me!

0:20:39 > 0:20:44- Rather odd behaviour. - Very.- Lack of breeding.

0:20:44 > 0:20:48- We meet again! Have a cake. - Thank you.- You get your own.

0:20:48 > 0:20:52Once the rush starts, these will go like hotcakes!

0:20:53 > 0:20:58- How very kind.- It needs livening up in here. Do you play piano?

0:20:58 > 0:21:00I do, a little.

0:21:00 > 0:21:04- You do?- Yes.- Why didn't you say so?

0:21:04 > 0:21:06Hold this. Listen, everyone!

0:21:06 > 0:21:08Listen! Oi!

0:21:08 > 0:21:11- What's your first name?- Maurice.

0:21:11 > 0:21:16- Old Maurice is gonna play the piano for us.- If you insist.

0:21:16 > 0:21:20Of course we insist! Go on, give him a big hand.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22Come on! He's going now.

0:21:22 > 0:21:25Go on, then. That's it.

0:21:29 > 0:21:32MELLIFLUOUS OPENING TO "GREENSLEEVES"

0:21:32 > 0:21:35No, no, no, no!

0:21:37 > 0:21:41Beat it up! Whisk it! Give it the in-the-groove stuff!

0:21:41 > 0:21:45Ba-ba-dey! Go on, then! Go on!

0:21:45 > 0:21:50Hit it! Come on, everybody! Friendlify yourselves!

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Go on, then!

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Hey! Whose is this lot?

0:21:56 > 0:22:01- Those are my nephew's. - Keep going! Faster!

0:22:01 > 0:22:06Dig-dig! Come on, get moving on the rhythm! Rock and roll!

0:22:06 > 0:22:12Rock and roll! Wang-wang! That's it! Round and round!

0:22:16 > 0:22:20Bip-bip-peddy! Come on, Snake Hips! Have a go!

0:22:26 > 0:22:28Come on! Get moving!

0:23:09 > 0:23:14- Mammy!- Are you really on intimate terms with Lady Banderville?

0:23:16 > 0:23:19She's my mistress.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24Lady Banderville!

0:23:24 > 0:23:27What can we do? Get her a glass of water.

0:23:29 > 0:23:32Quick. The trolley!

0:23:33 > 0:23:35Jeannie, stop!

0:23:35 > 0:23:38Yes, sir.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01- Do you mind?- Sorry.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04- I'm Norman.- We've met.

0:24:04 > 0:24:10- Where?- I saw your guest appearance at Lady Banderville's tea party.

0:24:15 > 0:24:20- I can't do this.- I'm Norman, the new window cleaner.- Here.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23Come and sit down.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29You'll have to sit nearer.

0:24:31 > 0:24:36- Do you think you'll like it here? - It's not very friendly.

0:24:36 > 0:24:40- We'll have to change that, won't we?- Yeah.

0:24:41 > 0:24:45- PHONE RINGS - Answer it, can you?

0:24:46 > 0:24:48Hello?

0:24:49 > 0:24:50Mr Harper?

0:24:50 > 0:24:53- Mr Harper wanted.- Yes, that's me.

0:24:53 > 0:24:57- You're wanted on the phone. - I know, idiot.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00- Thanks(!)- Sorry.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19Wait a minute. Don't be ridiculous!

0:25:20 > 0:25:23Now, keep calm.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25We can get it off our feet.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32- Do mind my wool! - Let me get me foot out!

0:25:45 > 0:25:48He won't be a minute.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54Now look what you've done!

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Oh, go on. It's your call.

0:26:06 > 0:26:09Sorry. You can use it for mending socks.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Oh, Norman!

0:26:11 > 0:26:16- Busy?- Yes, very. - Thank you for helping me...

0:26:16 > 0:26:19Sorry, boss. I was tied up.

0:26:19 > 0:26:26Max didn't get the window-cleaning job. It's up to you to see that the situation becomes vacant again.

0:26:26 > 0:26:31It'll be a pleasure, boss. Don't worry. It's as good as done.

0:26:37 > 0:26:41- Good morning. - Morning, Sir Reginald.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49To the right.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52Back a bit.

0:26:52 > 0:26:53Forward.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56Back. Back!

0:26:56 > 0:26:58Now, straight back.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00Keep going.

0:27:02 > 0:27:05HE LAUGHS

0:27:14 > 0:27:20Where is that boy? He needs discipline. He should be sent to Eton.

0:27:20 > 0:27:25- With those ruffians? No!- Make a man of him.- He's far too sensitive.

0:27:25 > 0:27:30- He needs a mother's guiding hand. - He needs an uncle's guided foot.

0:27:30 > 0:27:34- Maurice is a very good tutor. - Thank you, Sybil.

0:27:35 > 0:27:39Morning, uncles. About time, too.

0:27:39 > 0:27:45I take the minutes of the last meeting as read and approved. All those in favour...

0:27:45 > 0:27:49- Maurice?- Oh, yes.- Very well.

0:27:49 > 0:27:54Now, the financial statement. The assets of the trust

0:27:54 > 0:27:57amount to £17,008,427.

0:27:57 > 0:28:00You can put your hand down, Sybil.

0:28:00 > 0:28:04This is an increase of £4,500,000.

0:28:04 > 0:28:09- It's nice to know the boy will be comfortably off.- Any more comments?

0:28:14 > 0:28:20Maurice, I'm sick of this nonsense. Reginald is hopelessly spoiled.

0:28:20 > 0:28:23Protecting him is one thing, Sybil.

0:28:23 > 0:28:29- But you're turning him into a fool. - You're dreadfully hard, Fletcher.

0:28:29 > 0:28:31Rubbish. If you had any sense,

0:28:31 > 0:28:35- you'd know it. - But he's getting on so well.

0:28:35 > 0:28:39That's all very well. But as I've said to Sybil...

0:28:39 > 0:28:43- It's that horrible man! - Don't be ridiculous.

0:28:43 > 0:28:49- He looks like a kidnapper! - Everyone does, to you. It's the new window cleaner.

0:28:49 > 0:28:56GLASS SQUEAKS Maurice, get him to go away. As I was trying to say...

0:28:56 > 0:28:58# Don't laugh at me

0:28:58 > 0:29:01# Cos I'm a fool..! #

0:29:01 > 0:29:06Oh, I'm sorry, sir! I didn't know you were coming out!

0:29:06 > 0:29:11- Let me wipe you down.- No! - I didn't do it on purpose.

0:29:11 > 0:29:13- Let him alone.- He's all right.

0:29:13 > 0:29:17- Do you mind?!- Just look at my suit!

0:29:17 > 0:29:21- I'll dry you down. Hold this.- Aah!

0:29:21 > 0:29:23Go away!

0:29:23 > 0:29:26Outside! Outside! Back to your work!

0:29:39 > 0:29:41Oi!

0:29:41 > 0:29:42Help!

0:29:42 > 0:29:45The ladder! Come on!

0:29:46 > 0:29:51- Monstrous man!- Potential criminal! - FLETCHER: Amiable half-wit.

0:29:51 > 0:29:54Go away! He can't!

0:29:54 > 0:29:57Why not? Wrong window. No ladder!

0:29:57 > 0:30:00Good heavens!

0:30:02 > 0:30:05- Aagh!- Hold on, for heaven's sake!

0:30:05 > 0:30:09- Pull me up!- I shall need some help. He's slipping!

0:30:09 > 0:30:12Keep out of the draught, darling.

0:30:12 > 0:30:14Pull me up!

0:30:14 > 0:30:17Maurice! Come and be of some use!

0:30:17 > 0:30:20Fletcher, pull!

0:30:25 > 0:30:28Send for the fire brigade!

0:30:28 > 0:30:31A ladder! Anything!

0:30:31 > 0:30:33Save me!

0:30:33 > 0:30:36Hold on! Fletcher, pull!

0:30:36 > 0:30:39I AM pulling!

0:30:39 > 0:30:41Don't despair. You'll be all right!

0:30:41 > 0:30:46Stay where you are, and I'll climb up. Stay there!

0:31:00 > 0:31:02That's it!

0:31:06 > 0:31:10Let's get the Major or we'll all be out of work.

0:31:10 > 0:31:15- Come on, young fellow. For heaven's sakes, help!- I've got him.

0:31:25 > 0:31:26You..!

0:31:30 > 0:31:33Report to my office at once!

0:31:35 > 0:31:37Oi, Major!

0:31:37 > 0:31:40Keep off the grass!

0:31:55 > 0:31:58Too big for me!

0:31:58 > 0:32:04No, you don't, Sybil. Let's close the session. The best one we've ever had.

0:32:09 > 0:32:12Norman, hello.

0:32:13 > 0:32:18- Jeannie!- How are you getting on? - Well, I think I made an impression.

0:32:18 > 0:32:21- Good.- See you later.

0:32:22 > 0:32:25- Norman...- Yes, Jeannie?

0:32:25 > 0:32:32- Would you like to come to the fair in the village this evening? - With you? Yes, please.- At six, then.

0:32:32 > 0:32:33Fine.

0:32:33 > 0:32:37- Norman?- Yes, Jeannie?- Be careful.

0:32:37 > 0:32:42Don't worry about me. I'm as safe as houses on ladders.

0:32:42 > 0:32:44- Bye.- Bye.

0:32:50 > 0:32:56- You wanted to see me, sir? - See you?! You're fired!

0:32:56 > 0:32:59Get out! Get out!

0:33:09 > 0:33:11Harold, listen to this.

0:33:11 > 0:33:15"Dear Jeannie, This is to say goodbye.

0:33:15 > 0:33:20"I dropped in to see the Major and he gave me the sack.

0:33:20 > 0:33:26"Ever so sorry about not seeing you this evening. I don't suppose we'll meet again. Yours truly,

0:33:26 > 0:33:28"Norman."

0:33:28 > 0:33:32"PS: I think...

0:33:32 > 0:33:35"you are...

0:33:36 > 0:33:39"wonderful."

0:33:51 > 0:33:54- Key to the ladder house.- Thank you.

0:33:54 > 0:34:01- Two weeks' wages in lieu of notice. - Yes.- Less PAYE, national insurance, and deductions for breakages.

0:34:01 > 0:34:05- Breakages?- Breakages. - Let's have it, then.

0:34:05 > 0:34:09- Leaving...one and fourpence. - Cor blimey!

0:34:09 > 0:34:14Here's a letter for Jeannie Andrews. Please see that she gets it.

0:34:14 > 0:34:19- Keep the bob.- Thank you.- Let's go, Harold, before we get searched.

0:34:31 > 0:34:33Hey!

0:34:33 > 0:34:36Norman! Where are you off to?

0:34:36 > 0:34:41- You ought to know, getting me the sack.- The sack? What do you mean?

0:34:41 > 0:34:46- Sawing through my ladder! - I didn't. Really, I didn't.

0:34:46 > 0:34:48Hmm!

0:34:53 > 0:34:57The last one was useless. Excuse me. ..Sir Reginald?

0:34:57 > 0:35:01You sacked Norman. I had occasion to do so.

0:35:01 > 0:35:04I'm giving you the occasion to take him back.

0:35:04 > 0:35:07Yes, Sir Reginald.

0:35:13 > 0:35:16Report back to my office forthwith!

0:35:16 > 0:35:21Can't you tell me now? I ain't gonna walk all the way back! Hey!

0:35:21 > 0:35:23Oh...

0:35:23 > 0:35:29- The fates have been kind! You mean I haven't got the sack?- Precisely.

0:35:29 > 0:35:35- I can't believe it! - Against my better judgement, I'm giving you one more chance.

0:35:35 > 0:35:38What about the letter, and the bob?

0:35:38 > 0:35:41The shilling you can have back.

0:35:41 > 0:35:45- The letter has already reached the young person.- Oh!

0:35:45 > 0:35:49I'll get the key to the ladder house.

0:35:51 > 0:35:54Thank you, Major. Off we go again!

0:36:06 > 0:36:12- Jeannie!- Norman! I thought you got the sack.- I've been taken on again.

0:36:12 > 0:36:14- I am glad.- Really?- Mm.

0:36:14 > 0:36:16Come here.

0:36:20 > 0:36:27- Thank you for your letter. - I wouldn't have written it if I'd known. Silly, wasn't it?

0:36:27 > 0:36:29I thought it was rather nice.

0:36:29 > 0:36:35- What about that bit at the end? - I thought that was rather nice, too.

0:36:35 > 0:36:40- I wouldn't have dared if I'd... - Well, I know what you mean.

0:36:50 > 0:36:53# Dee da-da-dum, da-da-dum

0:36:53 > 0:36:57- # Da-da-da da-da... - Da-da dee da-dum #

0:36:57 > 0:36:59# La da-da dum... #

0:37:01 > 0:37:06# I used to be scared of affection

0:37:06 > 0:37:08# But now I'm not

0:37:08 > 0:37:13# I used to go cold at its mention

0:37:13 > 0:37:15# But...whew!

0:37:15 > 0:37:18# Now I go hot

0:37:18 > 0:37:22# I used to run a mile

0:37:22 > 0:37:29# If a girl even began to smile

0:37:29 > 0:37:36# But I'm not afraid any longer

0:37:36 > 0:37:39# One smile from you

0:37:39 > 0:37:46# And my love grows stronger

0:37:46 > 0:37:50# I've a feeling of being

0:37:50 > 0:37:52# So up in the world

0:37:52 > 0:37:57# When I'm walking out with you

0:37:57 > 0:38:01# Up in the world is the feeling

0:38:01 > 0:38:05# I get even talking

0:38:05 > 0:38:07# About you

0:38:07 > 0:38:11# I confess that I tremble

0:38:11 > 0:38:15# At your touch, my dear

0:38:15 > 0:38:21# It's cos you're here so near

0:38:21 > 0:38:24# If you'd say yes

0:38:24 > 0:38:30# Then my eager lips would press one kiss

0:38:30 > 0:38:37# That means so much to me

0:38:37 > 0:38:43# My plea is to be

0:38:43 > 0:38:47# Tied to the strings of your heart

0:38:47 > 0:38:50# Make me feel that I'm someone

0:38:50 > 0:38:53# Really new

0:38:53 > 0:38:58# Don't cut me loose or my life falls apart

0:38:58 > 0:39:03# And I'm no-one without you

0:39:03 > 0:39:08# I pray I've made a good impression

0:39:08 > 0:39:12# You're my obsession

0:39:12 > 0:39:16# For ever

0:39:16 > 0:39:19# Let our hearts take flight

0:39:19 > 0:39:21# Together

0:39:21 > 0:39:25# Up in the

0:39:25 > 0:39:30# World. #

0:39:36 > 0:39:40Oi! What's the matter?

0:39:40 > 0:39:42Oi!

0:39:42 > 0:39:46What's the matter? Come on! Get it moving!

0:39:48 > 0:39:51Here, you.

0:39:57 > 0:40:02- Yeah?- You say "sir" to me. - They've all got titles here!

0:40:02 > 0:40:06You're playing in the football match this afternoon.

0:40:06 > 0:40:11- Good!- Sir Reginald captains the outdoor staff and they always win.

0:40:11 > 0:40:15- Do you understand? - Always? I shall do my best.

0:40:15 > 0:40:17Are you any good?

0:40:17 > 0:40:20No, not really.

0:40:20 > 0:40:26You'd better play for the indoor staff, against Sir Reginald...who always wins.

0:40:29 > 0:40:31WHISTLE BLOWS

0:40:41 > 0:40:43May the better side win!

0:40:43 > 0:40:48Skip it. We were going to play this way anyway.

0:40:48 > 0:40:50Very good, Sir Reginald.

0:40:50 > 0:40:53BLOWS WHISTLE

0:40:53 > 0:40:56That dangerous little man is playing!

0:40:56 > 0:40:59Have you got a spare ball in here?

0:41:02 > 0:41:04Good luck, Norman! >

0:41:07 > 0:41:09Come here.

0:41:09 > 0:41:13Listen. I insist on scoring. All right?

0:41:13 > 0:41:15WHISTLE BLOWS

0:41:21 > 0:41:24Well done, Reggie! Shoot!

0:41:32 > 0:41:34That's it!

0:41:38 > 0:41:39Well played!

0:41:47 > 0:41:50- It's a goal! We've scored!- Offside!

0:41:50 > 0:41:53- Offside(!)- OFFSIDE!

0:41:54 > 0:41:56Free kick. Offside.

0:41:56 > 0:41:59What?! I brought it through meself!

0:41:59 > 0:42:02- Free kick!- Get out of it!

0:42:02 > 0:42:04You were offside.

0:42:04 > 0:42:08- Have you gone raving mad? - Have YOU gone raving mad?

0:42:08 > 0:42:13- Get on with the game!- Yes indeed, milady.- Yes indeed, milady(!)

0:42:13 > 0:42:16Her ladyship won't be pleased! She won't!

0:42:16 > 0:42:18Pass the ball to Sir Reginald!

0:42:18 > 0:42:22Reginald! He's awfully good, you know.

0:42:24 > 0:42:27- Let Sir Reginald have it.- Pleasure!

0:42:27 > 0:42:29Hey!

0:42:29 > 0:42:31Foul!

0:42:31 > 0:42:33- Foul!- Foul!

0:42:33 > 0:42:36I meant the ball!

0:42:36 > 0:42:38Foul. Free kick.

0:42:45 > 0:42:48- Hello.- Put him in goal!

0:42:48 > 0:42:53- He's not big enough!- Not Sir Reginald - you! Get the jersey on.

0:42:53 > 0:42:55Up the double!

0:42:57 > 0:43:00- Show them, Norman!- Come on, Norman!

0:43:03 > 0:43:07- You're doing fine. - Thank you, Jeannie.

0:43:45 > 0:43:46Aagh!

0:43:49 > 0:43:53- APPLAUSE - Whose side are you on?!

0:44:08 > 0:44:11Well saved, little'un!

0:44:15 > 0:44:16Well done!

0:44:27 > 0:44:29- GOAL!- Oh!

0:44:31 > 0:44:34Jeannie, I've scored! I...

0:44:39 > 0:44:44- We'll show 'em! - Get back to your goal instantly.

0:44:44 > 0:44:47Game little fellow!

0:44:51 > 0:44:53Bullies!

0:45:04 > 0:45:05Owww!

0:45:05 > 0:45:07Oh!

0:45:07 > 0:45:12Reggie, my darling! ..You great hulking brute!

0:45:13 > 0:45:16Let's see. Come on.

0:45:16 > 0:45:20- Stop the game.- Nonsense! I'll play on.

0:45:20 > 0:45:23- So brave!- Sorry, milady...

0:45:24 > 0:45:27- How dare you!- Come on, Sybil.

0:45:27 > 0:45:30Reggie. Reggie!

0:45:30 > 0:45:31WHISTLE BLOWS

0:45:34 > 0:45:36JEANNIE: Well saved, Norman!

0:45:36 > 0:45:40- He moved!- What do you expect? - You moved!

0:45:40 > 0:45:42- Stop!- This is too much.

0:45:42 > 0:45:45Oh, my dear Sibyl!

0:45:45 > 0:45:48Get back. WHISTLE

0:45:49 > 0:45:52No! Play the game!

0:45:52 > 0:45:55Oh, innit marvellous(!)

0:46:15 > 0:46:18- Oh, Norman!- Oh!

0:46:18 > 0:46:21Where's your banjo?

0:46:23 > 0:46:26Let me help. There we are.

0:46:28 > 0:46:34I'll teach that little blighter a lesson. You go to bed for the rest of the day.

0:46:42 > 0:46:46NORMAN WHISTLES "UP IN THE WORLD"

0:47:10 > 0:47:15- You nearly copped it then!- I didn't think you'd be working today.

0:47:15 > 0:47:18I feel fine. ..Oh!

0:47:18 > 0:47:21- Does it hurt? - No. It'll be all right.

0:47:21 > 0:47:23Norman...

0:47:23 > 0:47:27- There's a dance on in the village tonight.- Yeah?

0:47:27 > 0:47:31Well... Could I take you to it?

0:47:31 > 0:47:34That's what I was hoping. Yes.

0:47:34 > 0:47:38I'll meet you on the terrace...

0:47:38 > 0:47:41..about half past six, eh?

0:47:48 > 0:47:54- Hi, Norman!- Yes, Sir Reginald? - Come up here.

0:48:01 > 0:48:03Ha-ha(!)

0:48:04 > 0:48:07- Morning, Sir Reginald.- Come on in.

0:48:11 > 0:48:16- Relax.- Yes, Sir Reginald.- Skip the title. I'll show you a trick.

0:48:18 > 0:48:20See this empty box?

0:48:22 > 0:48:26Say the magic words "uzguz guzalum".

0:48:26 > 0:48:28No, honestly!

0:48:28 > 0:48:30Uzguz guzalum.

0:48:31 > 0:48:33Hey presto!

0:48:33 > 0:48:39- Where'd you get this?- Saved my pocket money.- Big pocket! Not bad.

0:48:39 > 0:48:43I wish I could conjure like the Great DeMilo. He's on in London.

0:48:43 > 0:48:48"The White Cockatoo. The Great DeMilo." I've seen him before.

0:48:48 > 0:48:52You can have all this if you take me to see him.

0:48:52 > 0:48:55No. Get somebody else. I'm going back to work.

0:48:55 > 0:48:59You might as well clean my windows - the outside.

0:48:59 > 0:49:02I don't mind doing that.

0:49:06 > 0:49:10What are you doing? What are you doing?!

0:49:10 > 0:49:13Let me in! Don't lark about!

0:49:13 > 0:49:17- Swear to take me up to London. - I certainly will not!

0:49:17 > 0:49:22Don't mess about! What are you doing?!

0:49:22 > 0:49:27- Are you going to take me? - I will not!- We'll see about that!

0:49:29 > 0:49:34I will not. No. I'm not ticklish... I'm not...

0:49:37 > 0:49:40I'm not ticklish!

0:49:42 > 0:49:44No, don't! No!

0:49:48 > 0:49:51I'm not ticklish!

0:49:51 > 0:49:54WILD LAUGHTER

0:49:58 > 0:50:03It's that little fellow. Yes, happy at his work.

0:50:09 > 0:50:11I give in!

0:50:14 > 0:50:18- You give up?- Yes. - You'll take me up to London?- Yes.

0:50:18 > 0:50:22Put a ladder by this window at dusk tonight.

0:50:22 > 0:50:26Anything you say. ..No, not tonight.

0:50:26 > 0:50:28- I promised...- Tonight!

0:50:30 > 0:50:32Tonight!

0:50:32 > 0:50:35All right! All right!

0:50:35 > 0:50:37Good.

0:50:46 > 0:50:49- Seen Jeannie?- Certainly not.

0:50:59 > 0:51:02Afternoon, Norman.

0:51:03 > 0:51:05- Afternoon.- Nice day, innit?

0:51:07 > 0:51:11- Yeah.- Switch on the TV, will you? - All right.

0:51:18 > 0:51:20- What?- Now you've done it.

0:51:20 > 0:51:22- What?- What was that?

0:51:22 > 0:51:25I told him not to touch the TV.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27- You...- Silence.

0:51:27 > 0:51:30Shall I phone a man who can fix it?

0:51:30 > 0:51:37Yes, Harper. I'll tell the gatekeeper to expect him. The cost will be deducted from your wages.

0:51:43 > 0:51:46What is that?

0:51:46 > 0:51:49It's a pyjama case for Reginald.

0:51:49 > 0:51:52It's rather pretty, don't you think?

0:51:54 > 0:51:59- Where is he?- Gone to bed.- Already? - He was yawning all evening.

0:51:59 > 0:52:03- I hope he's not sickening for anything.- No. Just sickening.

0:52:03 > 0:52:07Fletcher, you're not fair to the dear boy.

0:52:07 > 0:52:12Such an oppressive evening. I think I'll turn myself in.

0:52:12 > 0:52:17- Must catch up on my beauty sleep. - Yes, you need to.- Really, Fletcher!

0:52:17 > 0:52:20- Good night, dear Sybil.- Good night.

0:52:20 > 0:52:24Tiptoe past Reggie's room. Don't disturb him.

0:52:24 > 0:52:28- I'll be quiet as a mouse. - Sweet mouse dreams.

0:52:29 > 0:52:32Who is it? Express TV Repairs.

0:52:32 > 0:52:37How many in the van? Only me.

0:52:38 > 0:52:41Get down. Quickly!

0:52:43 > 0:52:45Carry on!

0:52:50 > 0:52:56Well, we're in. On the dot. Harper is pinching that ladder.

0:53:00 > 0:53:03DOGS BARK

0:53:04 > 0:53:07OWL HOOTS

0:53:25 > 0:53:27< WHISTLE

0:53:40 > 0:53:44- OK, Sir Reginald? - Call me Reggie tonight.

0:53:44 > 0:53:48- Sir Reggie?- No. Just Reggie. - OK. Reggie.

0:53:48 > 0:53:53- CAR APPROACHES It's a van.- The ladder! - Shove it over there.

0:54:11 > 0:54:16Harper's put the ladder by the boy's room. But the light's on.

0:54:16 > 0:54:19GARGLING

0:54:19 > 0:54:21We'll have to wait.

0:54:21 > 0:54:24(Close the door.)

0:54:30 > 0:54:35Sssh! Are you trying to wake up the whole mansion?

0:54:35 > 0:54:38Shouldn't we take another one?

0:54:38 > 0:54:42- No. I can drive this one. - You drive?- Yes.

0:54:42 > 0:54:48- Besides, Mother always uses this one.- But Lady Banderville won't be in it.- Won't she?

0:55:00 > 0:55:04We'll give him five minutes.

0:55:05 > 0:55:09- < Not bad. - Think so?

0:55:10 > 0:55:13- In you get, Mother!- Let's go.

0:55:23 > 0:55:26SNORING

0:55:34 > 0:55:37Oh!

0:55:42 > 0:55:45(OK, Max. It's in the bag.)

0:55:51 > 0:55:54Are you asleep, my darling?

0:56:03 > 0:56:05Reggie!

0:56:06 > 0:56:08AAGH!

0:56:08 > 0:56:10Kidnapped!

0:56:10 > 0:56:14Reggie! They've taken my Reggie!

0:56:21 > 0:56:23Milady.

0:56:24 > 0:56:27- It worked!- Milady(!)

0:56:29 > 0:56:33Help! Where is everybody? Sir Reginald - he's gone!

0:56:33 > 0:56:38- Milady?- Kidnapped! Don't just stand there - do something!

0:56:38 > 0:56:44- What is it?- Kidnappers! - What do you mean?- They've taken Reggie! My little boy!

0:56:44 > 0:56:46Remove the ball.

0:56:46 > 0:56:49Brandy, quick - make it two.

0:56:51 > 0:56:55SIREN BLARES

0:56:59 > 0:57:04Press on. ..No news yet, but the arm of the law is reaching out.

0:57:04 > 0:57:10- I knew this would happen!- Why take Maurice, too? ..Not that I mind.

0:57:10 > 0:57:13He probably surprised them at their dirty work.

0:57:13 > 0:57:16This wouldn't have happened at Eton.

0:57:16 > 0:57:21- Norman the window cleaner is missing.- What did I tell you!?

0:57:21 > 0:57:25An inside job, eh? That's the man.

0:57:25 > 0:57:27A thug if ever I saw one.

0:57:27 > 0:57:32- Where is my poor little Reggie? - Obviously at some quiet hideout.

0:57:32 > 0:57:35# Talent! We say it's talent!

0:57:36 > 0:57:40# Talent is what the public want... Ooh!

0:57:40 > 0:57:42# We don't think that it's de rig-ger

0:57:42 > 0:57:44# For a girl to show her figure

0:57:44 > 0:57:47# While the fellows' eyes get bigger all the time

0:57:47 > 0:57:50# They don't come to see our faces

0:57:50 > 0:57:52# They just come to find the traces

0:57:52 > 0:57:55# Of some old familiar places down the line

0:57:55 > 0:57:57# They find talent

0:57:57 > 0:58:00# What else but talent?

0:58:00 > 0:58:03# Talent is what the public want

0:58:03 > 0:58:06# Ooh! Competition we can fight it

0:58:06 > 0:58:08# We don't need Shakespeare to write it

0:58:08 > 0:58:11# We just do it as you like it every night

0:58:12 > 0:58:14# We may not be ambitious

0:58:14 > 0:58:16# And they'll grant us all our wishes

0:58:16 > 0:58:19# For as long as we're delicious they will fight

0:58:19 > 0:58:22# Like real good talent

0:58:22 > 0:58:24# We say it's talent

0:58:24 > 0:58:27# Talent is what the public want

0:58:27 > 0:58:29# We wouldn't fool you

0:58:29 > 0:58:31# Talent

0:58:31 > 0:58:35# Is what the public want! #

0:58:40 > 0:58:43Ginger beer?!

0:58:43 > 0:58:45It's OK, Mick. Nice work, boys. >

0:58:45 > 0:58:49The boy's been missed already. It's been a piece of cake.

0:58:49 > 0:58:55- Cake will keep me in meat for a long time.- Let's take a look at him.

0:58:58 > 0:59:00What the..?

0:59:00 > 0:59:03You birdbrains!

0:59:03 > 0:59:05- You got the wrong one.- Wrong one?

0:59:05 > 0:59:09- Is that a boy of 14? - Perhaps he's prematurely aged.

0:59:09 > 0:59:13- Shut up!- We'll collect a ransom! They're glad to be rid of it.

0:59:15 > 0:59:19That's the one you should have got.

0:59:19 > 0:59:23Someone else has him. Someone's pulled a fast one on us!

0:59:23 > 0:59:26- What shall we do with this?- Dump it.

0:59:26 > 0:59:30- Where?- Anywhere, but DUMP IT!

0:59:30 > 0:59:32DRUM ROLL

0:59:32 > 0:59:37Introducing the Great DeMilo, Master of Mystery!

0:59:37 > 0:59:41HE WHISTLES

0:59:44 > 0:59:46Good old Milo!

0:59:50 > 0:59:56Smashing! I ain't never seen nothing like that in all my life!

0:59:56 > 1:00:00Thank you, but it wasn't as good as all that.

1:00:00 > 1:00:03- We like to give credit where it's due.- Yes.

1:00:03 > 1:00:08If I may be allowed to continue, I would like to borrow a man's watch.

1:00:08 > 1:00:12Would any gentleman lend me their watch?

1:00:12 > 1:00:16- No!- Why not? - It's the only decent thing I have.

1:00:16 > 1:00:21- Thank you.- Hey! Give me my watch back! What's up with you?

1:00:21 > 1:00:29Don't worry, little man. I am going to wrap this gentleman's watch in an ordinary piece of paper.

1:00:31 > 1:00:35- Do you know what I'm going to do with your watch?- No, sir.

1:00:35 > 1:00:38I'm going to place it on the table

1:00:38 > 1:00:42and break it up into little pieces.

1:00:45 > 1:00:47There.

1:00:47 > 1:00:50I suppose you think your watch is smashed.

1:00:54 > 1:00:57- Come now.- Go on. Get out of it!

1:00:57 > 1:01:02You know it's broken. Everybody saw you hit it as hard as you could!

1:01:02 > 1:01:05That's just where you're wrong.

1:01:05 > 1:01:07See?

1:01:07 > 1:01:09There you are.

1:01:09 > 1:01:10Gone.

1:01:10 > 1:01:15I suppose you would like to know where your watch is.

1:01:15 > 1:01:18Yes, please, sir!

1:01:20 > 1:01:23Follow me very closely.

1:01:23 > 1:01:26Whose watch is this, eh? Whose is it?

1:01:26 > 1:01:31- Norman's! Yes! - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

1:01:31 > 1:01:36- I've got me watch back! Look, Reg! - What a trick!

1:01:36 > 1:01:40- Norman, I'd like you to help me in another trick.- Yes, sir.

1:01:40 > 1:01:43- Pick a card.- Any one?- Any one.

1:01:43 > 1:01:47- That one.- Look at it, and keep it.

1:01:47 > 1:01:50Madam, will you take a card, please?

1:01:50 > 1:01:52And you, sir?

1:01:52 > 1:01:55Thank you. Please, take a card.

1:01:55 > 1:01:58Madam, will you take a card?

1:02:01 > 1:02:07- POSH:- Ladies and gentlemen, I shall wrap this gentleman's watch

1:02:07 > 1:02:09in an ordinary piece of paper!

1:02:13 > 1:02:17Do you know what I'm going to do to your watch?

1:02:17 > 1:02:20I shall put it on this table

1:02:20 > 1:02:25and I intend to smash it up into lots of tiny, weeny pieces!

1:02:31 > 1:02:37I suppose you think your watch is smashed up. That's where you're wrong.

1:02:37 > 1:02:39There.

1:02:42 > 1:02:44Very clever!

1:03:32 > 1:03:36I got a hunch the boy's in London, but where?

1:03:36 > 1:03:39DeMilo's going very well tonight.

1:03:39 > 1:03:43Yeah. What's going on out there, anyway?

1:03:49 > 1:03:53- What's going on?- A couple of customers have mucked up the act.

1:03:53 > 1:03:55Help!

1:03:55 > 1:03:59- < I protest! Call the manager! - The boy!

1:04:01 > 1:04:06I haven't finished me food! Let me wrap some up in a bit of paper!

1:04:06 > 1:04:08Yes, sir.

1:04:08 > 1:04:12Help! Let me down! Stop just a minute.

1:04:12 > 1:04:18Our apologies. It's a mistake. Please return, everything is on the house.

1:04:18 > 1:04:23I should think so. ..On the house? Come on, Reg.

1:04:23 > 1:04:29Cut the cabaret, get the lights down to midnight level, and get the band going!

1:04:29 > 1:04:32- Tell Sid and Steve to stand by.- OK.

1:04:35 > 1:04:37Play a rumba.

1:04:41 > 1:04:47- I'm so sorry, sir. - It's no good. Any more nonsense and I'll take action.

1:04:47 > 1:04:51Hello, boys. You would like for me to join you?

1:04:54 > 1:04:57Er... No, thank you.

1:04:57 > 1:05:00- You would like to dance?- Oh...

1:05:00 > 1:05:06- Why not? It would be an experience. - Oh...I bet it would!

1:05:06 > 1:05:09- Go on, Norman.- You go on yourself!

1:05:09 > 1:05:12- Please!- No!

1:05:12 > 1:05:17Come on. In three minutes' time the lights will go out. Get that kid!

1:05:28 > 1:05:31I've had enough. I'll go now.

1:05:31 > 1:05:35Not on your life, chump. My spare time job is teaching judo.

1:05:35 > 1:05:39Let me go! Let me go! Put me down, will you?

1:05:39 > 1:05:41What's the matter with you?

1:05:57 > 1:06:00Harold! Harold, come back!

1:06:05 > 1:06:07AAGH!

1:06:16 > 1:06:18MUFFLED CRIES

1:06:28 > 1:06:29Nice work, boys.

1:06:37 > 1:06:39This is the Banderville car, all right.

1:06:45 > 1:06:47The Cockatoo. I wonder...

1:06:48 > 1:06:50Place is due for a raid anyhow.

1:06:50 > 1:06:51< Officer!

1:06:51 > 1:06:55Come quick! there's something peculiar in my dustbin!

1:06:55 > 1:06:58Go and see what she wants, will you?

1:07:00 > 1:07:01This is the one, Officer.

1:07:07 > 1:07:11Oh. Oh, hello. I do think policemen are wonderful!

1:07:12 > 1:07:15You might as well relax, son.

1:07:15 > 1:07:17Soon as your mother's paid up, we'll let you go.

1:07:17 > 1:07:19MUFFLED CRIES

1:07:19 > 1:07:21Nobody's going to get hurt.

1:07:27 > 1:07:29You all right?

1:07:29 > 1:07:32Yes, I'm fine. I say, isn't this all smashing!

1:07:32 > 1:07:36We'll get the kid to sign it, then you can take it to Banderville.

1:07:36 > 1:07:38Steve, keep your eyes skinned here.

1:07:40 > 1:07:41Is someone coming?

1:07:59 > 1:08:01Put your hands up! Put 'em up! Come on!

1:08:03 > 1:08:05All of you! You as well!

1:08:05 > 1:08:08Get over to the barrel! Come on!

1:08:12 > 1:08:14Oh, no you don't!

1:08:14 > 1:08:16Keep back.

1:08:22 > 1:08:26WHISTLES BLOW AND WOMEN SCREAM

1:08:26 > 1:08:31- Am I glad to see you! They've been trying to kidnap us!- The game's up.

1:08:31 > 1:08:35- I was trying to get him out! - It's no use, boss. Just go quietly.

1:08:35 > 1:08:39- Boss?! I've never seen them before! - Take him away.

1:08:39 > 1:08:43I'm innocent, I tell you! Ask the boy!

1:08:43 > 1:08:45NORMAN CONTINUES COMPLAINING

1:08:54 > 1:08:58HE GIVES INSTRUCTIONS Yes, sir.

1:09:03 > 1:09:06He needs complete quiet. He has amnesia.

1:09:06 > 1:09:10- How awful! What's that? - Loss of memory.

1:09:10 > 1:09:14How long will it last? Months, maybe years.

1:09:14 > 1:09:18- Won't he know I'm his mother? - I doubt it.

1:09:18 > 1:09:20We'll break it to him gently.

1:09:22 > 1:09:29It is abundantly clear from the evidence that you're the brains behind this dastardly crime.

1:09:29 > 1:09:34I shall give you the maximum sentence for the offence.

1:09:34 > 1:09:3925 years' hard labour!

1:09:41 > 1:09:43SQUEAKING

1:09:43 > 1:09:45MOUSE SQUEAKS

1:09:56 > 1:09:58FOOTSTEPS

1:09:58 > 1:10:00Visitor to see you.

1:10:00 > 1:10:04Come on, look lively! Left, right!

1:10:04 > 1:10:07Left, right! Left turn!

1:10:08 > 1:10:12< Left, right, left, right. Prisoner, halt! Left turn!

1:10:12 > 1:10:14You have two minutes.

1:10:16 > 1:10:19- Hello, Jeannie. - Hello.

1:10:19 > 1:10:25- I still believe in you, Norman. - You're the only one who does.

1:10:25 > 1:10:30- If only Sir Reginald hadn't lost his memory.- Well, he did.

1:10:30 > 1:10:34Don't worry, Norman, dear. I'll wait for you.

1:10:34 > 1:10:38- If you want me to. - If I want you to?!

1:10:38 > 1:10:40Thank you, Jeannie.

1:10:40 > 1:10:43I'll only be 50 when I come out.

1:10:43 > 1:10:48- Jeannie?- Yes?- Do me a favour? - What's that?

1:10:48 > 1:10:53- Look after Harold while I'm away. - Of course.

1:10:53 > 1:10:56HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

1:11:04 > 1:11:08Prisoner, attention! Right turn! Quick march!

1:11:09 > 1:11:14< Left, right! Left, right! Left, right...

1:11:25 > 1:11:28No, you don't! No trying to get away.

1:11:31 > 1:11:34This is 3709935. >

1:11:34 > 1:11:37Cheer up! First 25 years are the worst.

1:11:37 > 1:11:4025 years!

1:11:40 > 1:11:4225 blinkin' years!

1:11:42 > 1:11:46- Blimey, a big shot! - Delighted to meet yer, guv.

1:11:46 > 1:11:48We're just small-timers.

1:11:48 > 1:11:53Jocks. Robbery with violence. 18 years.

1:11:53 > 1:11:57Damon. Arson. 13 years.

1:11:57 > 1:12:00Williams. Assault and blackmail.

1:12:00 > 1:12:02Only ten years.

1:12:02 > 1:12:04Oh! Ooh!

1:12:06 > 1:12:10- Look! He's on the job already! - Go on, show 'im!

1:12:11 > 1:12:18Fine little tunnel. With your help we can get clear in five months.

1:12:18 > 1:12:20No. Count me out.

1:12:20 > 1:12:25Out before then? Gonna play a lone hand, eh?

1:12:27 > 1:12:29(Yeah.)

1:12:32 > 1:12:34Yeah. That's it.

1:12:34 > 1:12:36I'll play a lone hand.

1:12:38 > 1:12:41I shall be taking over in here.

1:12:47 > 1:12:50Right now, whose is this bunk?

1:12:50 > 1:12:52That's mine.

1:12:52 > 1:12:56Well, from now on it's mine, see?

1:12:56 > 1:12:59Well, that's enough Latin for today.

1:12:59 > 1:13:01Just leave me to study, Uncle.

1:13:01 > 1:13:05Excuse me, Sir Reginald. Your costume's arrived.

1:13:05 > 1:13:08Oh.

1:13:08 > 1:13:13Have you remembered Norman yet? I never knew a Norman.

1:13:13 > 1:13:17Sir, he took you to London! I've never been there.

1:13:17 > 1:13:19Poor Norman!

1:13:19 > 1:13:22WIND HOWLS

1:13:24 > 1:13:27Oi, you! Break up that bit.

1:13:27 > 1:13:29OK, boss.

1:13:30 > 1:13:34OFFICER: Keep working! Put your hat on!

1:13:48 > 1:13:50Working yourself to death(!)

1:13:50 > 1:13:54- I'm responsible for most of the big ones!- My foot!

1:13:55 > 1:13:57Owww!

1:13:57 > 1:14:003709935!

1:14:00 > 1:14:04You're a dab hand at cleaning windows, aren't you?

1:14:04 > 1:14:06I've done one or two.

1:14:06 > 1:14:09You, you, you and you, follow me!

1:14:09 > 1:14:16WIND HOWLS Left, right! Left, right! Left, right! Left, right! Halt!

1:14:16 > 1:14:19All right, get it up there!

1:14:19 > 1:14:22Those are the Governor's quarters.

1:14:23 > 1:14:27Couldn't I carry on breaking up stones instead?

1:14:27 > 1:14:33You'll do 'em and you'll do 'em nicely, 3709935!

1:14:33 > 1:14:35All right, get it up there!

1:14:35 > 1:14:38Up, up, up, up, up! >

1:14:38 > 1:14:40Gently! >

1:14:42 > 1:14:48- Pity the poor blighter who's got to go up there in this wind.- Yes!

1:14:48 > 1:14:51Hey, you! Pick up that bucket! >

1:14:51 > 1:14:56- Not in this wind.- Up you go! - Can't you get someone else? Oh, no!

1:14:56 > 1:15:00- Go on! Get up there!- Ow!

1:15:00 > 1:15:07- Get up there!- Why do I have to go all the way up there, when you could choose from this lot?

1:15:13 > 1:15:14Argh! Ah!

1:15:21 > 1:15:25What the devil are you doing? This is a prison, not a circus!

1:15:28 > 1:15:31Argh! Ah! Put me back! Oh!

1:15:43 > 1:15:47THEY LAUGH Hey! Get me out of here!

1:15:47 > 1:15:51Oh! Oh, no! Put it back!

1:15:51 > 1:15:53Guv'nor!

1:15:53 > 1:15:56Hold it, hold it, hold it!

1:15:59 > 1:16:01Argh! Argh!

1:16:01 > 1:16:03Here I go! Oh!

1:16:11 > 1:16:14Blimey! He's done it!

1:16:14 > 1:16:173709935, come back!

1:16:17 > 1:16:19Stop him!

1:16:26 > 1:16:28POLICE WHISTLE

1:16:28 > 1:16:31DOGS BARK

1:16:38 > 1:16:40POLICE WHISTLE

1:16:40 > 1:16:42DOGS BARK

1:16:49 > 1:16:51Ooh! Ooh!

1:16:53 > 1:16:55Oh!

1:16:59 > 1:17:04You're right, sir. He is making for Banderville.

1:17:10 > 1:17:12DOGS BARK

1:17:26 > 1:17:28BARKING FURTHER IN DISTANCE

1:17:35 > 1:17:37DOGS BARK

1:17:43 > 1:17:45BELL RINGS

1:18:03 > 1:18:07Stout fellow! Here first! This will get you promotion.

1:18:07 > 1:18:09Take his name... Open up!

1:18:09 > 1:18:13< It's the Army! What's all this in aid of?

1:18:13 > 1:18:16Escaped convict heading this way!

1:18:16 > 1:18:18Hop on!

1:18:24 > 1:18:26Who are you, lad?

1:18:26 > 1:18:28- Norman. - Good boy.

1:18:28 > 1:18:33One of you chaps needs a bath! Meanwhile, forward!

1:18:33 > 1:18:36BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS

1:18:40 > 1:18:45- Care for an 'op, milady? - Oh, certainly!

1:19:02 > 1:19:07Robertson, Jackson, Thomas, come with me! Sergeant, stay here!

1:19:09 > 1:19:13SERGEANT: Righto, lads. Light up.

1:19:38 > 1:19:42- Gotcha!- Argh! It wasn't me! - Enjoying yourself?

1:19:44 > 1:19:46Go on in. Have some fun.

1:19:49 > 1:19:51Excuse me.

1:19:51 > 1:19:55- Norman!- Shh! - What are you doing here?

1:19:55 > 1:20:03- Tell you later. I've got to find Sir Reginald. He MUST remember! - Of course. I have an idea. This way.

1:20:13 > 1:20:17MUSIC ENDS AND CROUD APPLAUDS

1:20:17 > 1:20:20Arrest that man!

1:20:20 > 1:20:23Come on! What the blazes are you doing?

1:20:23 > 1:20:27It's the wrong man! Told you so!

1:20:27 > 1:20:32I beg your pardon. Care for a drink? Not on duty.

1:20:32 > 1:20:36Which is Lady Banderville? Madame Pompadour.

1:20:37 > 1:20:41Drinking on duty! I know, you're in fancy dress.

1:20:41 > 1:20:43- Yes, Inspector? - We have news.

1:20:43 > 1:20:45A word in your ear.

1:20:45 > 1:20:49Norman, the window cleaner, is here.

1:20:55 > 1:20:58There, Norman!

1:20:58 > 1:21:02Come, come, we can't have two ladies dancing together.

1:21:02 > 1:21:07Thank you, Major. I've already danced with you.

1:21:09 > 1:21:14Please! In this country the man always leads.

1:21:14 > 1:21:19My, my, you are a shy little flower. Come along, look up.

1:21:19 > 1:21:23Oh, yes, come along, my dear, let me see you.

1:21:23 > 1:21:27Mm, I knew it! What lovely eyes!

1:21:27 > 1:21:33- I bet all the boys are after you! - I'm being chased all over the place.

1:21:33 > 1:21:35You're delightful.

1:21:35 > 1:21:38MAJOR HUMS A TUNE

1:21:38 > 1:21:41Oh, enjoy yourself. It's a party. Sing with me!

1:21:41 > 1:21:46Dum-dee-dee... NORMAN HUMS IN ARABIAN STYLE

1:21:46 > 1:21:48MAJOR CHUCKLES

1:21:48 > 1:21:52NORMAN SHRIEKS AND WAILS That's the way!

1:21:54 > 1:21:56# Boya balara... #

1:21:56 > 1:21:58Ooh, yes, a pleasure.

1:22:01 > 1:22:05- Sir Reginald.- Yes? - It's me. Look! Norman!

1:22:05 > 1:22:07I've never seen you.

1:22:07 > 1:22:11Don't be afraid! We'll get him! No stone left unturned!

1:22:11 > 1:22:14Think hard! Try! Try!

1:22:14 > 1:22:16Norman!

1:22:16 > 1:22:20The door! Quickly! Hey! Where are you taking me?

1:22:22 > 1:22:25Help! POLICE WHISTLE

1:22:28 > 1:22:30JEANNIE SQUEALS

1:22:31 > 1:22:34Lock it, Jeannie!

1:22:34 > 1:22:37Sergeant! FOR-WARD!

1:22:40 > 1:22:44Oh, no! Not in the carrier, you fool! Back!

1:22:55 > 1:22:57How dare you?!

1:22:57 > 1:23:00Men! Seize that man!

1:23:00 > 1:23:03And you keep off the grass!

1:23:03 > 1:23:07Jeannie, keep him back. Try and get him to remember.

1:23:12 > 1:23:16You'll never get up!

1:23:20 > 1:23:23Ready, Jeannie? Now!

1:23:25 > 1:23:27Got 'em!

1:23:27 > 1:23:29Don't push!

1:23:29 > 1:23:31An American dance, I imagine.

1:23:31 > 1:23:35Right, you lot. Are you giving in?

1:23:35 > 1:23:38Sergeant, ready, tear gas? Yes, sir!

1:23:38 > 1:23:40Be careful of my Reggie!

1:23:40 > 1:23:44Under the table! They're using tear gas!

1:23:50 > 1:23:52Oh! Ha-ha!

1:23:52 > 1:23:55Fire another one, Sergeant.

1:23:59 > 1:24:01Well done!

1:24:01 > 1:24:03HE CHUCKLES

1:24:03 > 1:24:06That's Norman. Remember? No! Let me go!

1:24:09 > 1:24:13- HE SOBS - Come on, let's have more fun!

1:24:13 > 1:24:16Please let me go! No!

1:24:16 > 1:24:20Stay under, Jeannie! Stay under! Oh!

1:24:24 > 1:24:27Well stopped, sir!

1:24:27 > 1:24:29Oh!

1:24:29 > 1:24:30HE LAUGHS

1:24:30 > 1:24:34Hey, Guv'nor, try this for size!

1:24:39 > 1:24:42Well caught, boy!

1:24:42 > 1:24:46ALL LAUGH AND CRY What's going on?!

1:24:47 > 1:24:51It's the escaped convict, Colonel. Do your duty!

1:24:51 > 1:24:56After him, men! You too, Sergeant! Yes, sir!

1:24:56 > 1:24:59Leave it to me! I'll cut him off!

1:24:59 > 1:25:01JEANNIE GASPS

1:25:06 > 1:25:08Ha! I arrest...you!

1:25:10 > 1:25:12My baby!

1:25:14 > 1:25:19Somebody clonked me! I did, sir. I'm sorry.

1:25:19 > 1:25:21Norman!

1:25:21 > 1:25:25MAJOR: This scoundrel kidnapped you.

1:25:25 > 1:25:29Kidnapped?! Idiot! He tried to save me!

1:25:29 > 1:25:32- Save you? - Yes, truly!

1:25:32 > 1:25:34I told you so!

1:25:34 > 1:25:37CHURCH BELLS RING

1:25:46 > 1:25:49LAUGHTER

1:26:01 > 1:26:03HE CHUCKLES

1:26:03 > 1:26:06Oh, he's started! Little...

1:26:06 > 1:26:09NORMAN STARTS TO LAUGH

1:26:09 > 1:26:11JEANNIE GIGGLES

1:26:14 > 1:26:19Subtitled by Miriam Greenblum, Intelfax, for BBC Subtitling - 2001

1:26:19 > 1:26:22E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk