A Fish Called Wanda

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0:00:08 > 0:00:15This film contains strong language.

0:00:22 > 0:00:27And on that point, members of the jury, I rest my case.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48CAMERA CLICKS

0:00:51 > 0:00:53RINGING

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Hello, Wanda.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33- Hi, Ken. - Hello, W-Wanda.

0:02:33 > 0:02:39- Ken...this is Otto.- Hello, Ken. Wanda's told me a lot about you.

0:02:39 > 0:02:44Hey, great fish! A little lemon, tartare sauce - perfect!

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Is George back yet?

0:02:47 > 0:02:51N-No, he had to g-go...

0:02:54 > 0:02:56What?

0:02:56 > 0:02:59That's quite a stutter you've got there!

0:02:59 > 0:03:02It's OK. It doesn't bother me.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05So George needs a weapons man, eh?

0:03:05 > 0:03:10- A cup of tea, Ken?- Y-Yuh... - Yeah, he'd like one.

0:03:10 > 0:03:16- My friend in the CIA had a stutter. Cost him his life, dammit. - DOOR OPENS

0:03:16 > 0:03:18Hi, George.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Hello, George. Get you a scotch?

0:03:23 > 0:03:25Yeah.

0:03:25 > 0:03:26George...

0:03:26 > 0:03:29This is Otto.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32So...

0:03:32 > 0:03:37- ..you're Wanda's brother?- Good to be here. England is a fine country!

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Did she tell you what we need?

0:03:43 > 0:03:45KEN GASPS

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Something like that?

0:03:51 > 0:03:54Something like that.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Hello, Wendy!

0:03:57 > 0:04:00Had a good day?

0:04:00 > 0:04:05I spend the morning trying to get the waste disposal man to come,

0:04:05 > 0:04:11had lunch with Marjorie Brooks who spends the entire meal complaining,

0:04:11 > 0:04:18- then I come back here and Sandersons have sent the wrong flowers. - Oh, no! Would you like some tea?

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Yes!

0:04:20 > 0:04:25- I won the case.- This is the first moment I've had to myself all day!

0:04:30 > 0:04:37- Portia, how was the show?- Awful. I need a new horse.- But you liked Phantom.- He's not fit for dog meat.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40Can I change him? It won't cost much.

0:04:40 > 0:04:46- Aren't you making the tea, Archie? - Let me do it.- No, I'LL do it!

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- I won the case! - Oh! Now this is cracked!

0:04:55 > 0:04:58They're worth about 100,000 each.

0:04:58 > 0:05:03There are 135 of them - that makes 13 million, my friends!

0:05:03 > 0:05:07- Dollars?- Pounds, pet. This is the big one, so...

0:05:08 > 0:05:10OK.

0:05:10 > 0:05:11Yeah.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Otto!

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Yes?

0:05:16 > 0:05:17OK.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19What?

0:05:19 > 0:05:21The plan!

0:05:21 > 0:05:26Yeah, great! What was the middle thing about the police?

0:05:26 > 0:05:32- We don't meet up at Heathrow until Tuesday...- Yeah! - I haven't finished yet!

0:05:32 > 0:05:37- Because the police will watch the airports for 72 hours.- I know.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39I know.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42Do you want m-me to g-get...

0:05:42 > 0:05:47..a b-big...c-car?

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Yes, Ken. A limo, OK?

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Put diplomatic plates on it.

0:05:53 > 0:06:00- What if he has to say something during the break-in?- No-one says anything!- It's OK. Ken's good.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04So, next week, we won't have to look for work!

0:06:04 > 0:06:08And it won't have to look for us!

0:06:08 > 0:06:10Oscar Wilde.

0:06:14 > 0:06:19You really like animals, don't you? What's the attraction?

0:06:19 > 0:06:22Because you can t-trust them...

0:06:22 > 0:06:25- ..and they don't sh...- Shit on you?

0:06:25 > 0:06:27..Shove off all the time.

0:06:27 > 0:06:32Nietzsche said they were God's second blunder.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Bye, Sis!

0:06:34 > 0:06:38Well, you t-tell him from me... that I c-could...

0:06:38 > 0:06:40Bye, George!

0:06:40 > 0:06:43- Talk to Mom and tell her I said hi. - OK.

0:06:43 > 0:06:48- THEY WHISPER:- Don't let him touch you.- We'll be together soon.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53I'm sorry my brother's so insensitive.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.

0:07:02 > 0:07:03Good.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27Move and you're dead!

0:08:47 > 0:08:50ALARM RINGS

0:08:53 > 0:08:56DOGS YAP

0:08:57 > 0:09:00Look where you're going, selfish pig!

0:09:00 > 0:09:04People just think they own the pavement!

0:09:31 > 0:09:34I love robbing the English!

0:09:34 > 0:09:36They're so polite.

0:09:36 > 0:09:43- Th-Th...- What?- The dog!- 20 million dollars and he's worried about an insect!- It's not an in-in...

0:09:43 > 0:09:47Stammer's no better, is it? Have you thought about surgery?

0:09:47 > 0:09:50SIRENS WAIL

0:09:53 > 0:09:54Ken...

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Bye.

0:10:28 > 0:10:33- Let's split.- Heathrow, Tuesday. - No celebrating!- No celebrating?

0:10:34 > 0:10:37- See you in a couple of hours.- OK.

0:11:22 > 0:11:26- To 20 million. - To a job well done!- To us.

0:11:26 > 0:11:31- To the best brother and sister team since...- Romeo and Juliet?

0:11:31 > 0:11:35Those cockney klutzes bought our story! What MORONS!

0:11:35 > 0:11:38- I want you to know something.- What?

0:11:38 > 0:11:42Even if you were my brother, I'd still want to fuck you.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Ooh... Mmm... - Make the call.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49- Un momento, carissima.- No Italian!

0:11:49 > 0:11:53- Due insalate verde con pepperoni!- No!

0:11:53 > 0:11:58- E un linguini primavera! - No! Make the call, Otto!

0:11:59 > 0:12:02- Are you really Italian? - Assolutamente.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06Otto means eight. Say arrivederci a Giorgio.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09- Bye, George.- Putta me through to...

0:12:09 > 0:12:13- CLIPPED ENGLISH ACCENT: - Hello. Sorry to trouble you,

0:12:13 > 0:12:20but I thought you'd like to know that the Hatton Garden robbery was pulled off by a Mr George Thomason.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23He lives at...

0:12:23 > 0:12:28..flat 3, Kipling Mansions, Murray Road, London W9.

0:12:30 > 0:12:31Wanda?

0:12:42 > 0:12:45POLICE SIRENS WAIL

0:12:54 > 0:12:56KNOCKING

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Open up!

0:13:13 > 0:13:16George Francis Thomason?

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Passport. Tickets. Money.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Asshole!

0:13:39 > 0:13:41CAR CRASHES >

0:13:49 > 0:13:51- We're rich, Wanda.- Yep!

0:13:51 > 0:13:58- I bet you've had the most exciting time of your life with me. - You said it!

0:14:07 > 0:14:11- HE GASPS - ..OK.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15OK... I'm DISAPPOINTED!

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Son of a bitch!

0:14:19 > 0:14:24- What do you have to do to make people trust you?!- Shut up!

0:14:24 > 0:14:28- People always take advantage of me! - Think! Where is it?

0:14:30 > 0:14:33- What are you doing?- I'm thinking!

0:14:33 > 0:14:39- First I'll hang him up with piano wire, then... - I'm going to talk to him.

0:14:39 > 0:14:44Then I'll... Talk to who? Talk to who?

0:14:44 > 0:14:52- In the course of installing these windows, you knelt on broken glass from the pane you'd dropped?- Yes.

0:14:52 > 0:14:57- And your parents can confirm this? - And his aunt, Georgina Thomason.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00- KNOCK AT DOOR - Yes?

0:15:00 > 0:15:04Excuse me, sir. There's a young lady to see Thomason.

0:15:04 > 0:15:09- Anything else?- That's everything for the moment, thanks.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13Ken will be in with the fish food later.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Thanks. OK.

0:15:15 > 0:15:20- Well?- We'll be OK on the glass, but what else will they have?

0:15:24 > 0:15:27WOLF WHISTLES

0:15:30 > 0:15:32Oh, George!

0:15:32 > 0:15:37- I can't believe this is happening! - That's not allowed, miss.

0:15:37 > 0:15:42- Are you OK?- I'm all right. - I can't handle this.

0:15:42 > 0:15:47- I couldn't sleep. I was afraid the police...- Leave it out, OK?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Listen...

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Listen!

0:15:51 > 0:15:53You stayed at my place.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56We slept late.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59You made me breakfast.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- What?- What's he doing here?

0:16:06 > 0:16:09He wanted to see you!

0:16:09 > 0:16:13Who did it, George? Do you want me to rub him out?

0:16:13 > 0:16:16Anything. You name it.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19- I have friends making enquiries. - Good.

0:16:19 > 0:16:26The jewels are very safe. If I get sent down, it gets handed back to cut my sentence.

0:16:26 > 0:16:31To cut my sentence even more, I could tell them who done it with me,

0:16:31 > 0:16:35if I wasn't very happy about everything.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37What was the middle thing?

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Piss off.

0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Do you want me to...?- Now!

0:16:50 > 0:16:52George...

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- ..you don't think...?- Do you?

0:16:56 > 0:16:57No!

0:17:00 > 0:17:02No...

0:17:02 > 0:17:04No!

0:17:04 > 0:17:07- OK.- George?- What?

0:17:07 > 0:17:11(Are you sure the garage is very safe?)

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Trust me.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20Thanks a lot. Bye. Have a good day.

0:17:20 > 0:17:25- He's not sure it was you. That's something, I guess.- What about you?

0:17:25 > 0:17:32- He believes me. That's why he can't figure out about you.- Figure out what?- If you turned him in, stupid!

0:17:32 > 0:17:35Don't, er...

0:17:35 > 0:17:39..ever, ever, EVER call me stupid, OK?

0:17:41 > 0:17:43What?

0:17:46 > 0:17:51That's George's lawyer. The other guy must be the barrister.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55- So?- Trust me.

0:17:58 > 0:18:03- Let me know if anything unexpected turns up.- Excuse me!

0:18:03 > 0:18:07- Don't I recognise you? - No, I don't think so.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11Oh... But you are a famous barrister, aren't you?

0:18:12 > 0:18:15Um... Well, hardly!

0:18:15 > 0:18:19Well, could I have your autograph anyway?

0:18:20 > 0:18:23- Yes, certainly.- Thanks.

0:18:23 > 0:18:28- I'm studying aspects of your legal system. I'm American.- Oh, really?

0:18:28 > 0:18:33- I've only just started. It's fascinating!- What brings you here?

0:18:33 > 0:18:40- It's a little embarrassing. I have a friend. - Oh, I see. Well, there you are.

0:18:40 > 0:18:44- I knew it! You're Archie Leesh! - Leach.- Right!

0:18:44 > 0:18:48I saw you in court, er...two weeks ago!

0:18:48 > 0:18:52- The casino break-in? - Oh, you were great!

0:18:52 > 0:18:58Oh, I'm a big fan of yours! I love the way you, er...cross-examine.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00I really admire your work!

0:19:00 > 0:19:02Thank you.

0:19:02 > 0:19:07- I'd better not...- I don't suppose you'd...? No, fine.- Right.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Well...

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Thank you for this. I'll treasure it.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15Au revoir.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20You speak French, too.

0:19:39 > 0:19:44- What's going on?- Whatever George decides to do, he'll tell Leach.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Why?

0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Because he's his lawyer. - I know that.

0:19:49 > 0:19:56- So I'll get to know Leach.- George will tell him where the diamonds are?- That's what I'll find out.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10You done well, my son!

0:20:10 > 0:20:13Where we gonna hide it?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16The fish tank. Very good.

0:20:16 > 0:20:22Don't tell Wanda anything. Otto might get something out of her.

0:20:22 > 0:20:23George.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26You are going to g-get off?

0:20:26 > 0:20:31Don't worry, Ken. We'll fix it. Anything on Otto?

0:20:31 > 0:20:35Not yet. You watch him.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40Ken?

0:20:41 > 0:20:42OK.

0:20:42 > 0:20:48The police have been all over it. I'll change and then I'll help look.

0:20:49 > 0:20:53Hello...K-Ken's p-p-p-pets!

0:20:53 > 0:20:54Hey!

0:20:56 > 0:20:59Wake up! Wake up, limey fish!

0:20:59 > 0:21:04So, how are you going to get friendly with this lawyer?

0:21:04 > 0:21:07I don't know. I'll improvise.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Insects!

0:21:09 > 0:21:14I thought Englishmen didn't like women, the way they talk.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18He's straight. Cute, too, in a pompous sort of way.

0:21:18 > 0:21:23- You got the hots for him? - I'm not into necrophilia, thanks!

0:21:25 > 0:21:30Is this hump-a-limey week? Otto disapproves. Otto might get jealous.

0:21:30 > 0:21:34E molto pericoloso, signorina.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37Molto pericoloso...

0:21:43 > 0:21:46- Carissima...- Speak it! Speak it!

0:21:46 > 0:21:50Ossobuco milanese con piselli!

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Melanzane...

0:21:52 > 0:21:56Parmigiana con spinace!

0:21:56 > 0:21:58Yes! Yes! Yes!

0:21:58 > 0:22:02- No! No! No!- Si! Si! Si!

0:22:02 > 0:22:04No! Not here!

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Not here, Otto!

0:22:06 > 0:22:10- Um... Mozzarella?- No, not here! - Parmigiano!

0:22:10 > 0:22:12No!

0:22:17 > 0:22:18Wanda?

0:22:23 > 0:22:26Look what I've got, Wanda!

0:22:28 > 0:22:30Treasure!

0:23:15 > 0:23:20I thought it was the police. Isn't it horrible about George?

0:23:20 > 0:23:24I've a headache. Will you buy me some aspirin?

0:23:24 > 0:23:28- DOOR SHUTS What's that?- Otto's in the bathroom.

0:23:28 > 0:23:33- Otto?- We went to see George. It was horrible!

0:23:39 > 0:23:42Isn't it terrible about George?

0:23:42 > 0:23:46When I find the bastard who squealed!

0:23:46 > 0:23:50- I love that man! - What are you doing here?

0:23:50 > 0:23:54Wanda was upset, Ken. She needed to talk to family.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58But sh-she just had a sh-shower!

0:23:59 > 0:24:02I must speak to you.

0:24:02 > 0:24:08- WANDA SOBS - Are you OK?- Yes. Thanks for coming. - Call me if you need me.- OK.

0:24:11 > 0:24:17- Can't you think about her feelings? - Something f-funny is going on! - Oh, dear.

0:24:17 > 0:24:22- You don't even know why you're excited.- I saw the...- Ken!

0:24:22 > 0:24:27Isn't it time you faced up to certain realities, Ken?

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Come on!

0:24:29 > 0:24:32You're attractive. You're smart.

0:24:32 > 0:24:38- You've wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress interestingly. - W-What...?

0:24:38 > 0:24:44We could have fun together. We'd be good for each other. What do you say?

0:24:46 > 0:24:50- You must be j-jo...- May I kiss you? - No, you fucking can't!

0:24:50 > 0:24:53- Just a peck! No tongue!- No!

0:24:59 > 0:25:03Ken! OK, you didn't realise I was gay.

0:25:03 > 0:25:06OK, look, I'm sorry. I've handled this badly.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09The physical side can wait.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12You need time.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17But will you think about it?

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Oh, my God!

0:25:40 > 0:25:43OH, MY GOD!

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Ken, somebody just called!

0:25:46 > 0:25:51They said that the police know that the loot is in a garage in Fulham!

0:25:51 > 0:25:56- You and I have to go and move it before the police find it!- N-No!

0:25:56 > 0:25:59- It's all right!- What?

0:25:59 > 0:26:04- Geor... Geor...- George... - Mo... Mo...- Moved...

0:26:04 > 0:26:08- George moved the loot?!- Yes.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11WHERE DID HE MOVE IT, KEN?

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Ca...

0:26:13 > 0:26:14Ca...

0:26:24 > 0:26:27I don't know. There's a key.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29It's in...

0:26:31 > 0:26:34Don't tell me. It's better not to.

0:26:34 > 0:26:39Oh, you know, if it wasn't for George...

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Otto...

0:26:45 > 0:26:49..tried to ki...kiss me.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52I thought he might.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58No, nothing. No marks at all.

0:26:58 > 0:27:06- But it is a safety deposit box key? - Yes. But it could be any one of millions - hotels, banks, offices.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Thank you.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11(Fuck!)

0:27:26 > 0:27:29That's him. That's him, Inspector.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32HE tried to murder my dogs!

0:27:50 > 0:27:51Davidson!

0:27:51 > 0:27:57- A legal student wants to see me. What time is Sir John due?- 12.30.

0:28:08 > 0:28:09Come in!

0:28:09 > 0:28:12- Hi.- How nice to see you!

0:28:12 > 0:28:16- Am I interrupting?- Absolutely not.

0:28:16 > 0:28:20- Really?- No, really. I'm delighted to see you.

0:28:23 > 0:28:26So...this is the place, huh?

0:28:26 > 0:28:28- This is it.- Very nice!

0:28:28 > 0:28:33I was over at the courts this morning. It's fascinating!

0:28:33 > 0:28:37- Everyone wears these. Do you? - Ridiculous!

0:28:40 > 0:28:47- Well, I only have a few minutes before...- I'm sorry. - But I'm all yours.

0:28:47 > 0:28:49I just have a few questions.

0:28:49 > 0:28:55- I'm having a problem understanding preliminary criminal procedures.- Good.

0:28:55 > 0:28:59What exactly is the committal?

0:28:59 > 0:29:04It's where the prosecution presents prima facie evidence

0:29:04 > 0:29:08that the accused has a case to answer for trial.

0:29:08 > 0:29:13Let's just take, for example, my friend George Thomason.

0:29:13 > 0:29:18- When he goes for his committal on Wednesday...- Thomason?

0:29:18 > 0:29:20- Yes.- George Thomason?

0:29:20 > 0:29:23Yes. Do you know him?

0:29:23 > 0:29:27- I'm defending him! - What are you talking about?

0:29:27 > 0:29:30I'm his barrister. His lawyer.

0:29:31 > 0:29:34That's so great!

0:29:34 > 0:29:36That's so weird, though, isn't it?

0:29:36 > 0:29:43- I'm so happy that you're defending him! - Thank you.- He'll get off now!

0:29:43 > 0:29:45Wow!

0:29:45 > 0:29:48- Well, I can watch you work now! - Please.

0:29:51 > 0:29:53Amazing.

0:29:53 > 0:29:59- Anyway, at the committal, George would then plead... - "Not Guilty".- Really?

0:29:59 > 0:30:05- The evidence is circumstantial. - What about the identification?

0:30:05 > 0:30:09An elderly lady. I think they've got the wrong man.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13- You don't think he did it.- No.

0:30:13 > 0:30:18Let's just say for argument's sake that you did think he did it.

0:30:18 > 0:30:22- If further evidence came to light, for example.- Right.

0:30:22 > 0:30:30You'd advise him to plead guilty, and turn over the jewels to cut his sentence. He'd turn them over to?

0:30:30 > 0:30:32To you?

0:30:34 > 0:30:37- Theoretically?- Of course!

0:30:37 > 0:30:39Well, um...

0:30:39 > 0:30:43I'm so sorry, I've forgotten your name.

0:30:44 > 0:30:45Wanda.

0:30:45 > 0:30:50Wanda. What a fool! Well, Wanda, there are three...

0:30:53 > 0:30:56Not Wanda Gershwitz?

0:30:57 > 0:30:58Yes.

0:30:58 > 0:31:01- My God.- What?

0:31:01 > 0:31:06- You're his alibi! I can't talk to you!- Why not?- My dear young lady...

0:31:06 > 0:31:09..you're a defence witness!

0:31:09 > 0:31:16- You must leave.- Why?- It's not ethical for me to talk to a witness! - Everyone does it in America.

0:31:16 > 0:31:21Please leave, or I may have to give up the case.

0:31:21 > 0:31:22Please?

0:31:27 > 0:31:29Oh, Archie...

0:31:30 > 0:31:35I didn't come here today to talk about boring criminal procedures.

0:31:36 > 0:31:38Come on! You know!

0:31:38 > 0:31:42You knew the minute I walked in here!

0:31:43 > 0:31:46I want you.

0:31:48 > 0:31:51- What? - BUZZER

0:31:51 > 0:31:58- Hello?- 'Sir John is here.' - Show him in.- Make love with me. - 'Pardon?'- Nothing!

0:31:58 > 0:32:00- Take me to bed, Archie.- No, sorry.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06Bye, Uncle!

0:32:09 > 0:32:11Hi!

0:32:21 > 0:32:24DRAMATIC CLASSICAL MUSIC

0:32:27 > 0:32:32He's pleading "Not Guilty", so you're safe until the trial.

0:32:32 > 0:32:35Leach doesn't think he did it.

0:32:35 > 0:32:42Ken says there's a safe deposit box key, but only George knows where it is.

0:32:42 > 0:32:44"Thank you, Wanda(!)"

0:32:46 > 0:32:49What have YOU found out?

0:32:49 > 0:32:53- Not a lot.- You realise he's in court tomorrow?- I know that!

0:32:53 > 0:32:56- So nothing, huh?- Nichts!

0:32:56 > 0:32:58Zip...

0:32:59 > 0:33:01Diddly... Bubkas...

0:33:03 > 0:33:05Niente!

0:33:09 > 0:33:14- It's too big!- No, it isn't, Portia. - It's enormous!- No, it isn't!

0:33:14 > 0:33:21- Please, Mother.- Absolutely not! - I'm so miserable and you just don't care!- Do shut up, Portia!

0:33:21 > 0:33:24People complain to me all day!

0:33:25 > 0:33:27Oh, dear.

0:33:27 > 0:33:30DRAMATIC MUSIC

0:33:30 > 0:33:32TRUMPET FANFARE

0:33:34 > 0:33:37- Ecco l'uomo!

0:33:52 > 0:33:56Le due cupole grande della cattedrale di Milano!

0:34:39 > 0:34:41Benito Mussolini!

0:34:52 > 0:34:55Dov'e il Vaticano?

0:34:58 > 0:35:02Oh... Ecco l'uomo!

0:35:10 > 0:35:13- #- Volare, oh, oh!

0:35:13 > 0:35:16- #- E cantare, oh, oh...- #

0:35:28 > 0:35:33- Archie, I want you to speak to her about plastic surgery.- Hmm?

0:35:33 > 0:35:40- I wish you'd listen. I want you to speak to Portia.- I'll speak to her in the morning.- Good night, Archie.

0:35:40 > 0:35:43Good night, Archie!

0:35:43 > 0:35:46Good night, Wanda!

0:35:46 > 0:35:48Good night who?

0:35:48 > 0:35:54Sorry, darling. Just a stupid case I've got tomorrow with some old hag.

0:35:55 > 0:36:00Are you George Francis Thomason of Kipling Mansions, London W9?

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Yes, sir.

0:36:04 > 0:36:07Charged with armed robbery. Sit down.

0:36:07 > 0:36:14- Are we ready for a committal claim? - Yes, it will be under 6-2. - That is correct.

0:36:14 > 0:36:18Here are the statements. To be fully bound, please.

0:36:18 > 0:36:20Stand up, Mr Thomason.

0:36:20 > 0:36:25You are hereby committed to stand trial at the central criminal court.

0:36:25 > 0:36:29There is some urgency about this case, madam.

0:36:29 > 0:36:34The main witness, Mrs Eileen Cody, has had heart difficulties recently.

0:36:34 > 0:36:39Might this case be put down for an early trial?

0:36:45 > 0:36:48The listings officer will decide. Take him to the cell.

0:37:04 > 0:37:09Hi, hon. You look great! I love your hair! Time for a coffee?

0:37:09 > 0:37:12- No.- Have you considered it, though?

0:37:12 > 0:37:20Why did he give you this? "Eileen Cody, 69, Basil Street"? Is it to send her flowers? Do her shopping?

0:37:20 > 0:37:23Rub her out?

0:37:24 > 0:37:27He wants you to rub her out?

0:37:29 > 0:37:33- He's going to kill her! - LAUGHS MANIACALLY

0:37:33 > 0:37:36Fuck off, or I'll kill YOU!

0:37:36 > 0:37:38Limey fruits!

0:37:39 > 0:37:45- So the old lady's going to m-meet with an accident, eh, K-Ken?- Sssh!

0:37:46 > 0:37:51- What's so funny?- Nothing. It's just that wasting old ladies isn't nice!

0:37:51 > 0:37:54It's better than...buggering people!

0:37:54 > 0:37:58I bet you a pound you don't kill her!

0:37:58 > 0:38:00- All right.- All right.

0:38:00 > 0:38:06I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what?

0:38:07 > 0:38:10Don't go near him! He's mine!

0:38:11 > 0:38:14A pound says you won't kill her!

0:38:16 > 0:38:20- When could you look at it? - Thursday is hopeless.

0:38:20 > 0:38:27- My wife's going to the opera Friday night. I'll look at it then. - Thanks, Archie.

0:38:27 > 0:38:33- Hi. I know we're not allowed to talk. Give me a call.- I can't!

0:38:33 > 0:38:35Please.

0:38:35 > 0:38:42- I'm not allowed to speak. - You don't have to. I don't want you for your conversation.

0:38:46 > 0:38:49Look, I'd love to, but...

0:38:53 > 0:38:57LOUD WAILS

0:38:59 > 0:39:02- What happened?- Got a date Friday.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06JOLLY WHISTLING

0:39:16 > 0:39:18DOGS YAP

0:39:18 > 0:39:25Look here. Do you mind not making that terrible noise? My dogs will be having their nap.

0:39:25 > 0:39:28Nice doggy...

0:39:28 > 0:39:31DOGS BARK AND GROWL

0:39:45 > 0:39:48Otto, what are you doing?

0:39:48 > 0:39:56- Buddhist meditation. It focuses aggression. The monks did it before battle.- What kind of buddhism is it?

0:39:58 > 0:40:01HORN BLARES

0:40:01 > 0:40:02Asshole!

0:40:03 > 0:40:11- It's an early Tantric meditation... What is this?- To get information I might have to get friendly with him.

0:40:11 > 0:40:14We're ready now at last.

0:40:14 > 0:40:19- Enjoy the opera, darling.- Supper's in the fridge, Archie. Be good.

0:40:20 > 0:40:23What does "friendly" mean?

0:40:23 > 0:40:27Cordial? Courteous? Supportive? What?

0:40:27 > 0:40:31I don't know. Let's just see what happens.

0:40:31 > 0:40:38- So "friendly" might include what? Penetration, say? - I don't need your jealousy now.

0:40:38 > 0:40:42- Jealousy?- Yes!- I'm just curious. Me jealous of that fop?

0:40:51 > 0:40:58- What about my tits? - Does he get to handle them?- Yes. That's my forecast.- Nuzzling?

0:40:58 > 0:41:0320 million dollars is worth a little nuzzling. 80 per cent chance there.

0:41:03 > 0:41:08- Sucking?- I thought you weren't jealous!- Jealousy is for the weak.

0:41:08 > 0:41:12One thing, though - touch his dick and he's dead!

0:41:17 > 0:41:22- Daddy didn't get the car serviced. - Aren't we going?- Do shut up, Portia!

0:41:35 > 0:41:37(Hurry up.)

0:41:51 > 0:41:52Hi.

0:41:54 > 0:41:57Do you despise me?

0:42:00 > 0:42:04No, that's not a word that leaps to mind(!)

0:42:04 > 0:42:06Can I stay then?

0:42:09 > 0:42:12Of course.

0:42:12 > 0:42:17- Look...Wanda... - I know. Your wife's coming back.

0:42:17 > 0:42:23It's about what I said to you. It IS all right for us to speak.

0:42:23 > 0:42:27- It is? - Provided we don't discuss the case.

0:42:27 > 0:42:29Oh...

0:42:29 > 0:42:31Oh, fine.

0:42:31 > 0:42:36- It's just that if anyone saw us talking...- But they won't.

0:42:42 > 0:42:45Sorry if I seem...pompous.

0:42:45 > 0:42:47Oh, you're the best, Archie.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53No...

0:42:53 > 0:42:56Not yet. I'm thirsty.

0:42:58 > 0:43:00What shall I get you?

0:43:01 > 0:43:03Whisky.

0:43:07 > 0:43:12You are the sexiest, most beautiful girl I have ever seen...

0:43:14 > 0:43:16..in my entire life.

0:43:17 > 0:43:20Get me my drink.

0:43:40 > 0:43:43Oh... Oh, Archie.

0:43:45 > 0:43:47Oh, Archie!

0:43:52 > 0:43:54So...

0:43:54 > 0:43:58..if George decides to change his plea,

0:43:58 > 0:44:03- he'd tell you where the loot was first, wouldn't he?- Mmm?

0:44:03 > 0:44:08- Darling, we mustn't talk about the trial.- I just meant theoretically.

0:44:09 > 0:44:11Kiss me there.

0:44:11 > 0:44:14Oh, theoretically...

0:44:16 > 0:44:21HE STARTS TO GIVE A MUFFLED REPLY

0:44:32 > 0:44:35- What's wrong?- It's wonderful!

0:44:38 > 0:44:39Oh!

0:44:39 > 0:44:44- What's wrong?- Oh, you're getting me so hot! I need something to drink.

0:44:44 > 0:44:49- Something cold? Maybe in the fridge?- Champagne?- My favourite!

0:44:50 > 0:44:53Don't go away!

0:44:55 > 0:44:57Je reviens!

0:45:07 > 0:45:14- What are you doing here?!- Relax! - Get the fuck out!- The moaning worried me.- I was faking it, stupid!

0:45:14 > 0:45:18- Don't call me stupid! And I'm not jealous.- Leave!- OK!

0:45:20 > 0:45:23What a nice place.

0:45:23 > 0:45:25Don't touch his dick!

0:45:25 > 0:45:27(His wife!)

0:45:31 > 0:45:35For goodness sake, get off to bed!

0:45:36 > 0:45:39Oh, God, there isn't any ice!

0:45:49 > 0:45:50Champagne!

0:45:52 > 0:45:55What's the matter?

0:45:55 > 0:45:59- What are you doing? - Champagne, dear.

0:45:59 > 0:46:03To welcome you home. Let me pour you a glass.

0:46:04 > 0:46:08- Whose is the car?- Car? - Blocking the drive.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13How was the opera?

0:46:13 > 0:46:16Whose car is it?

0:46:16 > 0:46:21Mine. A beauty, isn't it? Where did I leave my drink, Archie? Ah!

0:46:22 > 0:46:27- Who is this?- Don't you know? - How do you do, Mrs Leach?

0:46:27 > 0:46:31I'm Harvey Manfrend...gendson.

0:46:31 > 0:46:34- I'm with the CIA.- CIA? - That's right, ma'am.

0:46:34 > 0:46:41I was telling your husband before I had to go to your beautiful bathroom....

0:46:41 > 0:46:45..we've a KGB defector in a safe house near here.

0:46:45 > 0:46:50We're debriefing him as of now and we're just...

0:46:50 > 0:46:56- ..checking the houses in the area. - For what?- For the KGB. - Is there any danger?- No.

0:46:56 > 0:46:58No, not now.

0:46:58 > 0:47:04We, er, we just want to keep everyone informed. Thanks for the drink.

0:47:04 > 0:47:10- Sorry to have troubled you.- Keep everyone informed.- There's no panic.

0:47:10 > 0:47:15- Isn't it a secret?- You have no idea how secret.- Why are you telling us?

0:47:15 > 0:47:18It's a smokescreen?

0:47:18 > 0:47:20- What?- Double bluff.

0:47:20 > 0:47:27You know nothing about intelligence work, lady. It's an XK Red 27 technique.

0:47:27 > 0:47:34My father was in the Secret Service, Mr Manfredgendson. I know that you don't inform the general public

0:47:34 > 0:47:42- when debriefing the KGB in a safe house.- You don't, huh?- Not unless you're irretrievably stupid, no.

0:47:42 > 0:47:44Don't call me stupid!

0:47:44 > 0:47:47Why not?

0:47:47 > 0:47:51Oh, you English are so superior, aren't you?

0:47:51 > 0:47:58Would you like to know where you'd be without the U-S of A to protect you? I'll tell you.

0:47:58 > 0:48:02The smallest fucking province in the Russian empire!

0:48:02 > 0:48:05Don't call me stupid, thank me!

0:48:05 > 0:48:09 Thank you for popping in and protecting us!

0:48:09 > 0:48:13If it wasn't for us, you'd be singing Deutschland Uber Alles!

0:48:13 > 0:48:18My brother's covering for me! Get rid of your wife and get my locket!

0:48:18 > 0:48:23- Right. I'll get rid of her. - Who are you talking to?- Myself.

0:48:23 > 0:48:27- Who was shouting? - A friend's brother.

0:48:27 > 0:48:32- Archie! Who on earth...?- He rang the bell and... Let's go to the pub!

0:48:32 > 0:48:37- What?- Would you like to?- We haven't been to the pub for 15 years!

0:48:37 > 0:48:40- I want to show Portia.- Honestly!

0:48:40 > 0:48:43- AAAGH!- What on earth is it?

0:48:43 > 0:48:46I thought the picture was falling.

0:48:47 > 0:48:54- What's this?- Well done! Coming with us?- What was that?- A necklace.

0:48:54 > 0:48:59- What's going on?- Nothing. Let's go. - Can I see that?- What?- In your hand.

0:49:00 > 0:49:02Your other hand!

0:49:02 > 0:49:08Portia, go to your room. I forgot some papers and a secretary... GO!

0:49:08 > 0:49:11- Oh, Archie...- No, really.

0:49:11 > 0:49:13It's lovely!

0:49:13 > 0:49:15Thank you!

0:49:17 > 0:49:23- It's even got a "W" for Wendy! - I'm so glad you like it, darling!

0:49:23 > 0:49:27It's the most beautiful thing you've ever given me!

0:49:32 > 0:49:35Archie! This isn't like you!

0:49:41 > 0:49:44Are you fucking crazy?!

0:49:44 > 0:49:49- I saved your ass!- I had him right where I wanted him, you asshole!

0:49:49 > 0:49:56- I gave you one fucking thing to do, Otto! You were supposed to drive me here and shut up!- Relax!

0:49:56 > 0:49:59CAR DRIVES AWAY NOISILY

0:49:59 > 0:50:03TELEPHONE RINGS

0:50:03 > 0:50:05Hello?

0:50:05 > 0:50:08Hold on. ..It's for you.

0:50:10 > 0:50:12Hello?

0:50:14 > 0:50:16Not at the moment, no.

0:50:18 > 0:50:23I'm not quite sure when I'll be able to get hold of that.

0:50:23 > 0:50:27Yes, yes, I do appreciate that. As soon as possible.

0:50:28 > 0:50:32Well, that would be very nice, obviously.

0:50:32 > 0:50:36See you soon, I hope. Bye, Frank.

0:50:37 > 0:50:41DOG GROWLS AND BARKS

0:50:41 > 0:50:44Easy! Calm down! Easy, g-girl!

0:50:44 > 0:50:45Easy!

0:50:51 > 0:50:54Come here.

0:50:54 > 0:50:55Smell!

0:50:55 > 0:50:57Smell!

0:50:57 > 0:50:59Now, k-k-k...

0:50:59 > 0:51:02..k-k-kill!

0:51:26 > 0:51:28BELL TOLLS

0:51:28 > 0:51:32We therefore commit its body to the ground.

0:51:33 > 0:51:35Earth to earth,

0:51:35 > 0:51:38ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

0:51:42 > 0:51:45CHOIR BOYS SING "MISERERE DOMINE"

0:51:55 > 0:51:58Hello, honey. What happened?

0:51:58 > 0:52:01- N-Nothing.- What's that?

0:52:01 > 0:52:03- Um...- Not Granny?

0:52:03 > 0:52:06- N-Not yet.- Who is it for then?

0:52:06 > 0:52:11- A f-f...- A fish? Frenchman? Phone operator?- F-Friend.

0:52:11 > 0:52:14A four-legged one? Oh!

0:52:14 > 0:52:18- Where's my sister? - In the b-b...- Thank you.

0:52:18 > 0:52:19..lavatory.

0:52:19 > 0:52:21Wanda!

0:52:21 > 0:52:25- QUIETLY: - Anything?- What? ..No!

0:52:25 > 0:52:29- SHOUTING: - Why are you here?- I'm bored!

0:52:29 > 0:52:34Bored wandering around this awful city shoving George's ugly pict...

0:52:34 > 0:52:40Talking to snotty, stuck-up British faggots. Jesus, they're uptight!

0:52:40 > 0:52:46They get rigor mortis in the prime of life! Standing with their hair clenched...

0:52:48 > 0:52:52..waiting for the weekend so they can dress as ballerinas...

0:52:56 > 0:53:03"The flat at four. 2B..."? To be, or not to be...honest, I hate them!

0:53:03 > 0:53:10I mean, pretending they're so fucking lawyer...so fucking superior with those phoney accents!

0:53:10 > 0:53:13You've a beautiful voice, Ken.

0:53:13 > 0:53:15When it works!

0:53:15 > 0:53:18Son of a bitch!

0:53:22 > 0:53:25- LOUDLY: - So, want to have some lunch?

0:53:25 > 0:53:28- Heard from him?- Who?- Archie.

0:53:28 > 0:53:32- I have to finish my hair! No.- Nothing?

0:53:32 > 0:53:35Well, I'm off. No plans to see him?

0:53:35 > 0:53:37No. ..OK, bye, Bro!

0:53:37 > 0:53:39Bye, Wanda!

0:53:42 > 0:53:44Sorry!

0:53:46 > 0:53:49- What?- It wasn't theirs to sell.

0:53:49 > 0:53:56- An old lady gave it to them to be engraved and someone put it in the show case.- That's their problem!

0:53:56 > 0:54:02- This is three times the value. - This is the nicest thing you've given me,

0:54:02 > 0:54:09and you want to replace it with something which is awfully vulgar! No!

0:54:09 > 0:54:11- WENDY!- NO!

0:54:11 > 0:54:15Tell them they can't have it! You're the barrister!

0:54:46 > 0:54:48- Hello.- Hello.

0:54:50 > 0:54:53Oh, Archie, it's beautiful.

0:54:53 > 0:54:56It's just BEAUTIFUL!

0:54:57 > 0:55:00Oh, my God, look!

0:55:01 > 0:55:03Oh, Archie, it's beautiful!

0:55:03 > 0:55:06Isn't it wonderful?

0:55:06 > 0:55:11- Whose is it?- It belongs to someone at the chambers.- Where are they?

0:55:11 > 0:55:15- Hong Kong.- Ah, so! - Gone for weeks.

0:55:15 > 0:55:17Nice rug, Archie!

0:55:19 > 0:55:21May I?

0:55:22 > 0:55:25Archie, what are you doing?

0:55:25 > 0:55:28The polka, I think!

0:55:30 > 0:55:33You make me feel FREE!

0:55:33 > 0:55:34Free?

0:55:34 > 0:55:43Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct and so stifled

0:55:43 > 0:55:46by this dread of doing the wrong thing?

0:55:46 > 0:55:51Saying, "Are you married?" only to hear, "My wife has just left me."

0:55:51 > 0:55:57Or "Any children?" answered by "They burned to death on Wednesday."

0:55:57 > 0:56:01You see, we're all terrified of embarrassment,

0:56:01 > 0:56:07that's why we're so...dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know.

0:56:07 > 0:56:12We have these piles of corpses to dinner. But you're alive.

0:56:12 > 0:56:17- God bless you. And- I- want to be. I'm so fed up with all this...

0:56:17 > 0:56:20I want to make love with you, Wanda.

0:56:20 > 0:56:25I'm a good lover. At least, used to be, back in the early 14th century.

0:56:25 > 0:56:28Can we go to bed?

0:56:34 > 0:56:35Yeah.

0:56:36 > 0:56:39Hang on! Mind your head!

0:56:43 > 0:56:45Aaagh!

0:56:46 > 0:56:50- I think I love you, Wanda! - Oh, Archie!

0:56:50 > 0:56:54- Can I ask you a question?- Anything.

0:56:54 > 0:56:56Where's my locket?

0:56:56 > 0:57:01- I couldn't get it.- What?! - Wendy wouldn't give it back.

0:57:01 > 0:57:04I got you this instead.

0:57:04 > 0:57:07No! I have to have mine!

0:57:07 > 0:57:10What's the ma...? Why?

0:57:11 > 0:57:14My mother gave it to me.

0:57:14 > 0:57:16On her...

0:57:16 > 0:57:18..death bed!

0:57:19 > 0:57:24- Oh, I'm sorry. All right, darling, I'll get it for you.- You promise?

0:57:24 > 0:57:32- I'll think of something.- Sex is very difficult for me with someone that I don't trust completely.

0:57:32 > 0:57:34I promise I'll get it, OK?

0:57:34 > 0:57:37Oh, I love you, Archie!

0:57:39 > 0:57:43I've loved you ever since the first second I saw you!

0:57:43 > 0:57:44KNOCK

0:57:44 > 0:57:47- What was that?- What?

0:57:48 > 0:57:52- Your brother didn't bring you here, did he?- No.

0:57:52 > 0:57:54He has no idea?

0:57:54 > 0:57:57- He doesn't have a clue.- What?

0:57:58 > 0:58:05He is so dumb. He thought the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived!

0:58:08 > 0:58:12All those terrible lies he told about the CIA!

0:58:12 > 0:58:16When he heard your daughter's name was Portia,

0:58:16 > 0:58:20he said, "Why did they name her after a car?"

0:58:24 > 0:58:28- I love the way you laugh! - I love you, you're funny.

0:58:30 > 0:58:34How come a girl as bright as you has a brother who's so...

0:58:34 > 0:58:37Don't call me stupid!

0:58:38 > 0:58:40Jesus Christ!

0:58:43 > 0:58:45Come on!

0:58:48 > 0:58:49Otto!

0:58:49 > 0:58:51Ouch!

0:58:51 > 0:58:53I'll deal with you later!

0:58:53 > 0:58:57- What have you done with her? - She's all right!

0:58:57 > 0:59:00Now, apologise!

0:59:00 > 0:59:02What?

0:59:02 > 0:59:03Apologise!

0:59:03 > 0:59:08- WANDA SHOUTS:- Oh, shit! - Are you totally deranged?

0:59:12 > 0:59:15You pompous...

0:59:15 > 0:59:18..stuck-up, snot-nosed, English...

0:59:18 > 0:59:20..giant twerp scumbag...

0:59:20 > 0:59:22..fuck-face dickhead...

0:59:22 > 0:59:26- ..asshole!- How very interesting.

0:59:26 > 0:59:31- You're a true vulgarian.- You're the vulgarian, you fuck. Apologise!

0:59:32 > 0:59:34Me to you?

0:59:39 > 0:59:41Apologise!

0:59:41 > 0:59:46- I apologise.- You're really sorry? - I'm really, really sorry.

0:59:49 > 0:59:57- You take it back?- I do. I offer a complete retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact,

0:59:57 > 1:00:00and was in no way fair comment.

1:00:00 > 1:00:06I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you.

1:00:06 > 1:00:12I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander in the future.

1:00:13 > 1:00:15OK.

1:01:04 > 1:01:06Aaagh!

1:01:15 > 1:01:20BELL TOLLS... CHOIRBOYS SING "MISERERE DOMINE"

1:01:29 > 1:01:33- You said you loved him! - That's right, Otto.

1:01:33 > 1:01:40Here's a multiple choice question for you. A: Wanda was lying! B: Wanda was telling the truth!

1:01:40 > 1:01:46- Pick one!- The first one? You said you weren't seeing him! - I knew you'd fuck it up!

1:01:46 > 1:01:53I'm setting up a guy who will tell me where the loot is and if they're going to arrest you,

1:01:53 > 1:02:00and you lope in like Rambo without a jock strap, and dangle him out of a window! Was that smart?

1:02:00 > 1:02:05Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics or was it stupid?

1:02:05 > 1:02:08Don't call me stupid.

1:02:08 > 1:02:12Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!

1:02:12 > 1:02:20Sheep could outwit you! I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you're an intellectual, aren't you, ape?

1:02:20 > 1:02:23Apes don't read philosophy!

1:02:23 > 1:02:26They do. They just don't understand it!

1:02:26 > 1:02:32Let me correct you on a couple of things. Aristotle was not Belgian.

1:02:32 > 1:02:37The central message of Buddhism is not every man for himself.

1:02:37 > 1:02:44And the London Underground is not a political movement! Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

1:02:44 > 1:02:51You've just assaulted the man who can keep you out of jail and make you rich.

1:02:51 > 1:02:58What are you going to do about it? What would an intellectual do? What would Plato do?

1:02:59 > 1:03:02- MUMBLES:- Apologise.- Pardon me?

1:03:02 > 1:03:04- Apologise.- What?

1:03:04 > 1:03:07- APOLOGISE!- RIGHT!

1:03:09 > 1:03:11I'm sorry.

1:03:12 > 1:03:15No, not to me. To Archie.

1:03:15 > 1:03:18And make it good or we're dead.

1:03:24 > 1:03:27Oh, I'm so very, very, very...

1:03:27 > 1:03:30FUCK YOU!

1:03:31 > 1:03:33I'm so....

1:03:33 > 1:03:36I'm very, very... I'm so...

1:03:36 > 1:03:39I'm very, very, very...

1:03:54 > 1:03:56Very, very...

1:03:56 > 1:03:59SMASHING GLASS

1:05:05 > 1:05:08- THUD! - Ooh! Help!

1:05:08 > 1:05:11Hello, Mr Burglar! Going somewhere?

1:05:11 > 1:05:16Thought you could rob Mr Leach, eh? Well, he's a good friend of mine!

1:05:16 > 1:05:21- Otto!- He'll be pleased with me when he...- Otto!

1:05:21 > 1:05:25..finds you tied up and ready for the police!

1:05:26 > 1:05:31And don't call me Otto. To you, I am Mr...

1:05:37 > 1:05:39Aaagh!

1:05:42 > 1:05:45Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

1:05:45 > 1:05:48I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1:05:48 > 1:05:50I'm sorry!

1:05:50 > 1:05:53I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you!

1:05:53 > 1:05:56How could I know it was you?

1:05:56 > 1:05:59How could I guess? Stupid jerk!

1:05:59 > 1:06:05I mean, what the fuck are you doing robbing your own house, you asshole?

1:06:05 > 1:06:08You stupid, pompous, English...

1:06:08 > 1:06:10Aaagh! I'm sorry!

1:06:10 > 1:06:13I'm sorry!

1:06:13 > 1:06:14Er...

1:06:14 > 1:06:16Er... Yeah!

1:06:29 > 1:06:32DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

1:06:49 > 1:06:51WENDY SCREAMS

1:06:59 > 1:07:01Bloody hell!

1:07:01 > 1:07:03SHE RUNS DOWN THE STAIRS

1:07:07 > 1:07:08Darling!

1:07:08 > 1:07:11Are you hurt?

1:07:11 > 1:07:14- Speak to me!- Mmm.- Are you hurt?

1:07:14 > 1:07:16Can't you speak?

1:07:16 > 1:07:19Archie, what has happened?

1:07:19 > 1:07:21HE COUGHS

1:07:21 > 1:07:26- We've been burgled.- Oh, no! - Well, are you hurt?

1:07:26 > 1:07:29I'm fine. A bit of a headache.

1:07:29 > 1:07:34I came in here, somebody hit me... Is that the time?

1:07:34 > 1:07:35What?

1:07:35 > 1:07:38- I didn't know it was so late.- What?

1:07:38 > 1:07:43- I'm late for a conference.- You've just been attacked!- I must fly!

1:07:43 > 1:07:48- Archie!- I'll help you tidy up later! Hello, Portia!- What's happened?

1:07:48 > 1:07:52Your father has finally gone completely mental.

1:08:15 > 1:08:17Hi.

1:08:32 > 1:08:35- Thank you so much.- Champagne?- OK.

1:08:57 > 1:08:59- To us.- To us.

1:09:01 > 1:09:05- I went to the house and guess who... - SMASHES GLASS

1:09:05 > 1:09:10- Let's make love! - Well, if you absolutely insist.

1:09:10 > 1:09:13- No.- What?- Here.

1:09:13 > 1:09:15On the rug.

1:09:15 > 1:09:18I'll be right back. Get undressed.

1:09:20 > 1:09:23Why not? Why not indeed?

1:09:26 > 1:09:28- Afterwards...- Yeah?

1:09:28 > 1:09:31Let's go to South America.

1:09:31 > 1:09:35- What?- Let's fly to South America. - Why South America?

1:09:35 > 1:09:38OK, Iceland.

1:09:38 > 1:09:42What do you really want out of life, Wanda?

1:09:42 > 1:09:44I don't know.

1:09:44 > 1:09:47Why do I like you so much?

1:09:47 > 1:09:51- Archie...- Hmm? - Do you speak Italian?

1:09:51 > 1:09:55I am Italian! Sono italiano in spirito.

1:09:55 > 1:10:00Ho sposato una donna che preferisce lavorare in giardino

1:10:00 > 1:10:04a far l'amore passionato!

1:10:04 > 1:10:08It's such an ugly language! How about Russian?

1:10:08 > 1:10:11HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

1:10:11 > 1:10:13THUD

1:10:13 > 1:10:16RUSSIAN CONTINUES

1:10:34 > 1:10:36- Archie?- Yeah?

1:10:36 > 1:10:39- Are you rich?- No, I'm afraid not.

1:10:39 > 1:10:44- What about the house? - That's Wendy's, she's the rich one.

1:10:44 > 1:10:46Oh.

1:10:50 > 1:10:53HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

1:11:26 > 1:11:30- What the hell are you doing? - I might ask you the same!

1:11:30 > 1:11:34- Who are you?- What? - Get your clothes on!

1:11:34 > 1:11:37- Please leave immediately!- What?

1:11:37 > 1:11:40You're in the wrong flat!

1:11:40 > 1:11:47- This flat belongs to Patrick Balfour. He lent me the key.- We leased it from the agents last week.

1:11:52 > 1:11:56Well, obviously that changes things a bit.

1:11:56 > 1:11:59Aren't you Archie Leach?

1:12:01 > 1:12:05- What?- You bought our house in Lissenden Gardens.

1:12:05 > 1:12:08Hazel and Ian Johnson.

1:12:10 > 1:12:13What a coincidence!

1:12:13 > 1:12:15How nice to see you!

1:12:34 > 1:12:36HE DIALS

1:12:37 > 1:12:40PHONE RINGS

1:12:44 > 1:12:45Hello?

1:12:45 > 1:12:49'Hello, Wanda. It's Archie. Listen...'

1:12:49 > 1:12:52..I can't see you any more. I'm sorry.

1:12:52 > 1:12:54What?

1:12:55 > 1:12:58- 'I'm sorry.' - HE HANGS UP

1:12:58 > 1:13:00Archie?

1:13:28 > 1:13:30Er...

1:13:31 > 1:13:33- OK...- Oh, no!

1:13:33 > 1:13:38- Please!- Look, I want to apologise. - I just finished it, all right?

1:13:38 > 1:13:43- Wait! I want to speak with you. - Leave me alone!

1:13:43 > 1:13:48- Wait! I just want to say I'm sorry! - It's all over, OK?

1:13:48 > 1:13:52- Jesus Christ!- Will you calm down? - Help!

1:13:52 > 1:13:58- Please don't beat me up again. - Listen!- I've had a terrible day!

1:13:58 > 1:14:01- Will you shut up?!- Don't kill me!

1:14:01 > 1:14:03Shut up then!

1:14:03 > 1:14:08OK, look... I just want to apologise...

1:14:08 > 1:14:13- ARCHIE WHIMPERS - ..for dangling you out the window.

1:14:13 > 1:14:15It wasn't a nice thing to do.

1:14:15 > 1:14:23And when I attacked you in there... I didn't know you were robbing your own house. I was trying to help!

1:14:23 > 1:14:26Yes, thanks, Otto.

1:14:26 > 1:14:31- I wanted you to trust me. - Yes, it was my fault.- That's true.

1:14:31 > 1:14:38About my sister. She's a very sexy girl. I understand you wanting to play around with her.

1:14:38 > 1:14:41- Otto...- It's OK. I was wrong.

1:14:41 > 1:14:44I was jealous. Go ahead. Pork away, pal.

1:14:44 > 1:14:47Fuck her blue.

1:14:47 > 1:14:50I like you, Archie. I just want to help.

1:15:53 > 1:15:55Oh, God!

1:16:52 > 1:16:54Killed her!

1:16:57 > 1:16:59I did it!

1:16:59 > 1:17:01Did it! Nothing!

1:17:01 > 1:17:04Unbe-fucking-lievable!

1:17:04 > 1:17:07Thomason! Yeah?

1:17:07 > 1:17:08Yes.

1:17:09 > 1:17:12You done well, my son!

1:17:12 > 1:17:15Now, here's the plan.

1:17:15 > 1:17:19Get four tickets for this evening for Rio. First class.

1:17:19 > 1:17:24F-F...? Yeah, four. We'll get rid of Otto later.

1:17:24 > 1:17:30Back to the flat, pack, collect me and then to the hotel for the jewels.

1:17:33 > 1:17:36Unbe-fucking-lievable!

1:17:36 > 1:17:39Oi! Oi!

1:17:42 > 1:17:45I can't believe it!

1:17:45 > 1:17:47He's safe!

1:17:47 > 1:17:51- PHONE RINGS - I'll be late for court!

1:17:51 > 1:17:53H-Hello? Hello, Otto.

1:17:56 > 1:17:58No, she just, er, left.

1:17:58 > 1:18:01Oh, Otto...

1:18:01 > 1:18:03..you owe me a p-p...

1:18:04 > 1:18:06What?

1:18:07 > 1:18:10You owe me a pound!

1:18:10 > 1:18:12Not Granny!

1:18:14 > 1:18:17M-Met with an accident!

1:18:17 > 1:18:19Bullshit! You're lying!

1:18:21 > 1:18:22Dead?

1:18:22 > 1:18:24Heart attack.

1:18:28 > 1:18:30I don't believe this.

1:18:30 > 1:18:36G-George will be out this afternoon. We go to Heathrow, get the loot,

1:18:36 > 1:18:39and...VROOM!

1:18:39 > 1:18:42All thanks...to...

1:18:42 > 1:18:44..me!

1:18:44 > 1:18:47The loot's at the airport, is it?

1:18:56 > 1:18:58W-What's h-happening?

1:19:00 > 1:19:06Well, Ken, I'm going to ask you questions while I eat my chips.

1:19:06 > 1:19:09First, who is the philosopher

1:19:09 > 1:19:14who developed the concept of the superman in Also Sprach Zarathustra?

1:19:16 > 1:19:19No? A chip up the nose, I'm afraid!

1:19:22 > 1:19:24Friedrich Nietzsche! Next!

1:19:24 > 1:19:31In which book did Nietzsche claim that almost all higher culture is based on cruelty?

1:19:31 > 1:19:34Are you thinking or in mid-stutter?

1:19:34 > 1:19:37You're m-mad!

1:19:37 > 1:19:40Beyond Good And Evil!

1:19:40 > 1:19:43I'll have to ask you an easy one.

1:19:43 > 1:19:46OK... Um...

1:19:46 > 1:19:48Let me think.

1:19:48 > 1:19:52Where are the diamonds? I'll give you a clue.

1:19:52 > 1:19:55Somewhere around the airport!

1:19:55 > 1:20:00- I'm n-n...- No hassle. There's plenty of time, Ken.

1:20:00 > 1:20:04I'll just sit here and eat my chips till you tell me.

1:20:06 > 1:20:10The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip!

1:20:10 > 1:20:14What do the English usually eat with chips

1:20:14 > 1:20:17to make them more interesting?

1:20:17 > 1:20:19Wait a moment!

1:20:19 > 1:20:23It's fish, isn't it?

1:20:28 > 1:20:30Down the hatch!

1:20:31 > 1:20:33Oh!

1:20:33 > 1:20:36Delicious!

1:20:36 > 1:20:38You b-b...

1:20:38 > 1:20:43..Better eat the green one? OK. What's his name?

1:20:43 > 1:20:47Not Wanda, anyway. I'll call her Lunch.

1:20:47 > 1:20:49Hello, Lunch!

1:20:53 > 1:20:59Ugh! Avoid the green ones! They're not ripe yet!

1:20:59 > 1:21:01Ha, ha, ha, ha!

1:21:01 > 1:21:06- You were in court, Inspector, when the forensic evidence was read.- Yes.

1:21:06 > 1:21:09Mr Thomason was installing windows.

1:21:13 > 1:21:17That accounts for the particles of glass on his trousers.

1:21:20 > 1:21:24No hurry, Inspector - please do take your time.

1:21:30 > 1:21:32I'm almost full.

1:21:33 > 1:21:35- Almost!- Stop!

1:21:35 > 1:21:38Please...don't!

1:21:38 > 1:21:41Come on, Wanda! Gullet time!

1:21:43 > 1:21:46Which hotels are near the airport?

1:21:46 > 1:21:51The Airway Sheraton? The Post House? The Cathcart Towers?

1:21:51 > 1:21:53The Cathcart Towers? Yes?

1:21:56 > 1:21:57Mmm?

1:21:57 > 1:22:01- Yes!- In a safe deposit box? - Yes!

1:22:03 > 1:22:05Where's the key?

1:22:05 > 1:22:08In t-the t-tank.

1:22:09 > 1:22:11Where?

1:22:11 > 1:22:14- In the ch-ch...- In the chest?

1:22:19 > 1:22:21Where?

1:22:21 > 1:22:23Where?

1:22:26 > 1:22:27You...

1:22:27 > 1:22:29..m-murdering...!

1:22:29 > 1:22:32I'll k-kill...

1:22:32 > 1:22:34..I'll kill you!

1:22:37 > 1:22:41Sorry, Ken, but your answer was incorrect.

1:22:41 > 1:22:44You really did think it was in there, didn't you?

1:22:46 > 1:22:48What?

1:22:48 > 1:22:49Oh!

1:22:57 > 1:23:03- Hello?- I know where the diamonds are.- Where?- Where's the key?

1:23:06 > 1:23:11- I've got it.- How soon can you get to George's apartment?

1:23:11 > 1:23:14Are you Wanda Gershwitz

1:23:14 > 1:23:20- of Kipling Mansions, Murray Road, London W9?- Yes.

1:23:20 > 1:23:26- How do you know the defendant? - We've had a relationship for two years.

1:23:26 > 1:23:29"Relationship?"

1:23:29 > 1:23:32We're lovers, Your Lord.

1:23:34 > 1:23:39Miss Gershwitz, on 4 March of this year in the morning, where were you?

1:23:39 > 1:23:42I was at the apartment at Murray Road.

1:23:42 > 1:23:48- Were you alone or with someone else?- Someone else was there.

1:23:48 > 1:23:51- Who was that?- My brother.

1:23:51 > 1:23:53Did your...

1:23:54 > 1:23:56Your brother?

1:23:59 > 1:24:01My brother.

1:24:02 > 1:24:03Yes.

1:24:04 > 1:24:06Yes...

1:24:06 > 1:24:10And are you quite sure it was your brother?

1:24:10 > 1:24:18Miss Gershwitz would recognise her brother. She's had a relationship with him all her life.

1:24:18 > 1:24:21Much obliged, My Lord.

1:24:21 > 1:24:26- Was there anyone else present that morning?- Yes, George was there.

1:24:26 > 1:24:29- He left about five to seven.- Wanda!

1:24:30 > 1:24:34I WONDER... I wonder...?

1:24:36 > 1:24:38I wonder...

1:24:46 > 1:24:48Yes, Mr Leach?

1:24:48 > 1:24:51I Wendy... I wonder...

1:24:51 > 1:24:52W-When...

1:24:52 > 1:24:57When you say five to seven, Miss, er, Gershwitz,

1:24:57 > 1:25:00how can you be so sure?

1:25:00 > 1:25:07I looked at the clock and I thought where can he be going at 6.55 with that sawn-off shotgun?

1:25:07 > 1:25:09Darling!

1:25:09 > 1:25:10Mr Leach...

1:25:10 > 1:25:13- "Darling"?- Yes, dear?

1:25:13 > 1:25:15Bitch! You fucking bitch!

1:25:15 > 1:25:17WANDA SCREAMS

1:25:18 > 1:25:21JUDGE: Restrain that man!

1:25:27 > 1:25:29Restrain this man!

1:25:29 > 1:25:32I'm adjourning this case for an hour!

1:25:32 > 1:25:34Clear the court!

1:25:45 > 1:25:48Clear the court! Clear the court!

1:25:55 > 1:25:59Clear the court! Clear the court!

1:26:07 > 1:26:10Bloody hell!

1:26:10 > 1:26:13It's my husband, he's been hit!

1:26:13 > 1:26:16A bit of a knock, I'm afraid.

1:26:17 > 1:26:21I have never been so humiliated in my life!

1:26:21 > 1:26:26You can stick this marriage right in your bottom! See you in court!

1:26:36 > 1:26:37Yes.

1:26:39 > 1:26:40Well...

1:26:40 > 1:26:43..that's it then.

1:26:45 > 1:26:48- George.- What? - We've got to talk.

1:26:48 > 1:26:51You tell those pigs to fuck off!

1:26:51 > 1:26:54Fuck off, pigs!

1:26:55 > 1:26:57Did you hear what I said?

1:26:57 > 1:26:59Fuck...off!

1:27:02 > 1:27:06- What's she up to, George? - What are you up to?

1:27:06 > 1:27:09You called her darling!

1:27:09 > 1:27:11And Wanda!

1:27:11 > 1:27:16- I was helping her get her evidence straight.- You been coaching her?

1:27:16 > 1:27:20What do you think? They'll find you guilty.

1:27:20 > 1:27:26Tell them where the loot is and you may get eight years, out in five.

1:27:26 > 1:27:29What if I tell them about Otto and Wanda?

1:27:29 > 1:27:34- They both did it?- Yeah.- Great! Maybe six years, out in four?

1:27:34 > 1:27:37So where are the diamonds?

1:27:37 > 1:27:42- Where's Bartlett?- He's trying to calm things down. Where are they?

1:27:42 > 1:27:46Tell Bart that Ken knows where they are.

1:27:46 > 1:27:50George, it would be a lot quicker if you told me.

1:27:52 > 1:27:54OK, I'll tell Bartlett.

1:27:54 > 1:27:57- Where's Ken?- He's at the flat.

1:28:00 > 1:28:03WAILING >

1:28:03 > 1:28:06- SOBS: - I'll be right out.

1:28:20 > 1:28:22Taxi! Taxi! Shit!

1:28:22 > 1:28:25- Taxi!- Come on!

1:28:25 > 1:28:28- What?- Let's go!- Where?- Buenos Aires.

1:28:28 > 1:28:33- What?- We're going to George's flat first. Get in!

1:28:36 > 1:28:41- Got your passport?- Yeah.- Check the briefcase for mine. Get down.

1:28:47 > 1:28:51You did the robbery, shopped one lover,

1:28:51 > 1:28:58- kept the other to find the diamonds, and when he does, you turn him in. - Everyone does it in America!

1:28:58 > 1:29:03- They don't here!- No-one lies in England, not even Thatcher(!)

1:29:03 > 1:29:09- You lied to me!- You just wanted to get me into bed! - I fell in love with you!

1:29:14 > 1:29:16How come you dumped me then?

1:29:16 > 1:29:19I wasn't rich enough, remember?

1:29:29 > 1:29:32- Say something in Russian?- No!

1:29:37 > 1:29:44- What are you thinking, Archie? - Why I should take you to South America with me.

1:29:44 > 1:29:49How about because I have the key to the safety deposit box?

1:29:49 > 1:29:52That's a good reason!

1:29:55 > 1:30:00- What about Otto?- I'll handle Otto. - He's dangerous.

1:30:00 > 1:30:02So am I.

1:30:02 > 1:30:04Keep it running.

1:30:05 > 1:30:09- Why did you bring him? - Otto, just wait!

1:30:09 > 1:30:13- I think you like that...- Wait! - Let's get the diamonds.

1:30:13 > 1:30:16Ken? Are you Ken?

1:30:18 > 1:30:22How do you do? I'm George's barrister.

1:30:22 > 1:30:25CRUNCH AS CARS COLLIDE

1:30:25 > 1:30:27Asshole!

1:30:27 > 1:30:29GUNSHOT

1:30:32 > 1:30:34Archie!

1:30:34 > 1:30:37Where have they gone?

1:30:37 > 1:30:40Quick! Where have they gone?

1:30:40 > 1:30:43- They've g-gone...- What?

1:30:43 > 1:30:46- KEN GASPS - Are you all right?

1:30:46 > 1:30:50- They've gone to the Cath... Cath... - Are you ill?

1:30:50 > 1:30:55- I've g-go... Cath... - Have you got a stutter?

1:30:55 > 1:30:58- Y-Yeah... A bit.- OK, don't worry.

1:30:58 > 1:31:03- Do you know where they've gone? - Yes.- Fine. Where?

1:31:04 > 1:31:07The Cath... Hotel.

1:31:07 > 1:31:08Hotel?

1:31:08 > 1:31:10Which hotel?

1:31:10 > 1:31:13The Cath...

1:31:13 > 1:31:15The Cath... The Cath...

1:31:15 > 1:31:17Go on.

1:31:17 > 1:31:19The Cath...

1:31:19 > 1:31:21Wait, wait!

1:31:21 > 1:31:24Slowly. Very slowly.

1:31:27 > 1:31:30The Cath...

1:31:30 > 1:31:32The Cath...

1:31:32 > 1:31:35The Cath... The Cath...

1:31:35 > 1:31:37No hurry.

1:31:37 > 1:31:42- Sing it! - STRANGLED CRY # The Cath...!

1:31:42 > 1:31:46# The Cath...! The Cath...! #

1:31:47 > 1:31:50Plenty of time.

1:31:50 > 1:31:52The Cath...

1:31:52 > 1:31:54The Cath...

1:31:54 > 1:31:57OH, COME ON! I'm sorry.

1:31:58 > 1:31:59Wait.

1:31:59 > 1:32:02The Cath...

1:32:03 > 1:32:05Write it!

1:32:15 > 1:32:19- The Cathcart Towers Hotel? - The Cathcart Towers Hotel.

1:32:19 > 1:32:23Where is it? Ken, where is it?

1:32:23 > 1:32:24Where?

1:32:24 > 1:32:27Hea... Hea...

1:32:27 > 1:32:28Again!

1:32:34 > 1:32:37Heathrow Airport.

1:32:47 > 1:32:50MAN: Hey! What's the idea?!

1:32:50 > 1:32:54- You can't stay here! - Take it. It's yours!

1:33:00 > 1:33:03Thank you. British Airways to Rio?

1:33:03 > 1:33:06- Terminal 4, sir.- Thank you.

1:33:13 > 1:33:17- Is this your vehicle, sir? - I'll be right back.

1:33:18 > 1:33:26- Aisle, window? Smoking, non-smoking? - What was the middle one?- Anything in non-smoking is fine.- Gate 14.

1:33:48 > 1:33:50Rio!

1:33:51 > 1:33:54There's a cop behind us. Quick!

1:33:59 > 1:34:02- We can just do it, Mr Leach.- Great!

1:34:02 > 1:34:04Luggage?

1:34:07 > 1:34:10- I don't really need any. - Gate 14.

1:34:12 > 1:34:14Ciao, stupidissimo!

1:34:21 > 1:34:23Ow! Aaah!

1:34:33 > 1:34:36GUNSHOTS

1:34:42 > 1:34:45Come on, Archie. Pick up the phone!

1:34:53 > 1:35:00- ENGLISH ACCENT: - Sir! Airport Security. May I see your boarding pass?- Certainly.

1:35:00 > 1:35:04- Please step over here. Look, the Queen!- Where?

1:35:09 > 1:35:10Hup!

1:35:10 > 1:35:13OK, don't get excited!

1:35:14 > 1:35:18It's you! I was actually worried for a minute!

1:35:18 > 1:35:21- Hands up!- No!- Up!

1:35:21 > 1:35:26- I'll make a deal with you. I'll put one up.- Put the other one up!

1:35:26 > 1:35:29Which looks better?

1:35:29 > 1:35:34- I'm warning you, Otto.- What are you going to do, Archie? Shoot me?

1:35:34 > 1:35:40Gun me down? If you want to settle something with me, then fight me!

1:35:40 > 1:35:45- You're a man, aren't you? Let's fight like men!- All right.

1:35:45 > 1:35:48- All right, then.- OK.

1:35:48 > 1:35:49OK.

1:35:49 > 1:35:53- You look good, Arch. - I used to box for Oxford.

1:35:53 > 1:35:58Yeah? I used to kill for the CIA. Get your hands up.

1:35:58 > 1:35:59No.

1:36:02 > 1:36:05You spineless bimbo!

1:36:05 > 1:36:07Now, out!

1:36:10 > 1:36:15I'll have to shoot you, but I've some time before my plane leaves

1:36:15 > 1:36:18 and I'm longing to humiliate you.

1:36:18 > 1:36:21Get in that barrel.

1:36:21 > 1:36:24- What?- In the barrel!

1:36:28 > 1:36:29Right!

1:36:32 > 1:36:35You English think you're so superior!

1:36:35 > 1:36:38You're the filth of the planet!

1:36:38 > 1:36:42A bunch of pompous, poverty-stricken,

1:36:42 > 1:36:45sexually-repressed football hooligans!

1:36:47 > 1:36:49Goodbye!

1:36:49 > 1:36:54- At least we're not irretrievably vulgar!- You don't like winners!

1:36:54 > 1:36:56- Winners?- Yeah, winners.

1:36:56 > 1:36:59Winners like North Vietnam?

1:36:59 > 1:37:03Shut up! We did not lose Vietnam. It was a tie!

1:37:03 > 1:37:11- AMERICAN ACCENT:- I'm telling you, they kicked a little ass there! They whipped your hide real good!

1:37:11 > 1:37:16- They didn't.- They did. - They didn't.- Oh, yes, they did!

1:37:16 > 1:37:19Oh, no, they... Shut up!

1:37:19 > 1:37:22- Goodbye, Archie.- Going to shoot me?

1:37:22 > 1:37:25- ENGLISH ACCENT: - 'Fraid so, old chap! Sorry!

1:37:25 > 1:37:27Look!

1:37:34 > 1:37:36Revenge!

1:37:40 > 1:37:43It's K-Ken coming to k-kill me!

1:37:44 > 1:37:48How are you going to c-catch me, K-Ken?

1:37:49 > 1:37:52Now where was I? Oh, yeah.

1:37:54 > 1:37:55Shit!

1:37:57 > 1:38:00Stupid fucking limey cement!

1:38:08 > 1:38:11Ken! Ken! Wait, wait, Ken!

1:38:11 > 1:38:13Kenny! May I call you Kenny?

1:38:13 > 1:38:18- Revenge for Wanda! - 50-50. What do you say?

1:38:18 > 1:38:20OK, 60-40!

1:38:20 > 1:38:23- That's my final offer!- Revenge!

1:38:23 > 1:38:28I've got an idea. You take it all. Here's my boarding pass! Ken!

1:38:28 > 1:38:31I'm going to k-kill you!

1:38:31 > 1:38:34OK, fine. Give me your best shot.

1:38:34 > 1:38:37You don't have the guts. Admit it!

1:38:39 > 1:38:42OK, you have the guts. Good. Wait!

1:38:42 > 1:38:44Death!

1:38:44 > 1:38:48All right. I'm sorry I ate your fish, OK?

1:38:48 > 1:38:49Revenge!

1:38:49 > 1:38:53Jesus! I said I'm sorry. What the...

1:38:56 > 1:38:59Got him!

1:39:08 > 1:39:11Got you, Ken. You bastard!

1:39:11 > 1:39:14Hey! I've lost my stutter!

1:39:14 > 1:39:16It's gone!

1:39:16 > 1:39:23I can speak! How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

1:39:24 > 1:39:27Boarding pass, sir.

1:39:27 > 1:39:29SHE SIGHS

1:39:33 > 1:39:35Buongiorno, signorina.

1:39:43 > 1:39:50Now listen. Two things. One - behave yourself from now on or I'll break your neck, OK?

1:39:50 > 1:39:52Two...

1:39:54 > 1:39:57Gorbachev, Glasnost...

1:39:57 > 1:39:59Molotov!

1:39:59 > 1:40:01Blinis...

1:40:01 > 1:40:03Er, Lenin.

1:40:04 > 1:40:07- OTTO MOUTHS - Pushkin.- Chicken Kiev.

1:40:07 > 1:40:10 Good. Dostoyevsky.

1:40:11 > 1:40:14- Roubles. - PLANE ENGINE ROARS

1:40:20 > 1:40:22Ass-h-o-l-e!

1:41:28 > 1:41:32Subtitles by Caroline Neale - 1991