0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains strong language
0:01:21 > 0:01:25'I believe in the Church of Baseball.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28'I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones.
0:01:28 > 0:01:33'I've worshipped Buddah, Allah, Bramah, trees, mushrooms and Isadora Duncan.
0:01:33 > 0:01:41'I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a rosary and 108 stitches in a baseball.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46'When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51'But it didn't work out. The Lord laid too much guilt on me.
0:01:51 > 0:01:59'There's no guilt in baseball, AND it's never boring, which makes it like sex.
0:01:59 > 0:02:07'There's never been a ball player slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career.
0:02:07 > 0:02:14'Makin' love is like hittin' a baseball - you just gotta relax and concentrate.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18'I'd never sleep with a player hittin' under .250.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23'You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27'Sometimes when I get a guy alone
0:02:27 > 0:02:30'I'll just read to him.
0:02:30 > 0:02:34'The guys are so sweet, they always listen.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38'Of course, a guy will listen to anything...
0:02:38 > 0:02:41'if he thinks it's foreplay!
0:02:41 > 0:02:46'I make them feel confident. and they make me feel safe.
0:02:46 > 0:02:52'What I give THEM lasts a lifetime, what they give ME lasts 142 games.
0:02:52 > 0:02:59'Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball.
0:02:59 > 0:03:04'It's a long season and you gotta trust it.
0:03:04 > 0:03:12'I've tried 'em all, and the only church that truly feeds the soul is the Church of Baseball.'
0:03:14 > 0:03:20RECORD PLAYS: "Rock Around The Clock"
0:03:22 > 0:03:29# Put your gladrags on, join me, hon We'll have some fun When the clock strikes one
0:03:29 > 0:03:36# We're gonna rock around the clock tonight Gonna rock, gonna rock... #
0:03:47 > 0:03:50He's a helluva guy!
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Where's Ebby?
0:03:52 > 0:03:58- Ain't he warming up? - No. His professional debut and he forgets!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01- Better find him. - Seen Ebby?
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Nope.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Ebby!
0:04:14 > 0:04:20Jeez. Game starts in four minutes, why ain't you warm?
0:04:20 > 0:04:22I am warm!
0:04:22 > 0:04:27It's your professional debut. Guys would give their left nut for that!
0:04:27 > 0:04:30And you're with some piece of ass!
0:04:30 > 0:04:36Skip, it is ME. I am NOT, quote, "some piece of ass", unquote.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42Oh. Millie. Geez. Sorry. Didn't recognise you.
0:04:42 > 0:04:48Don't take this personal, but if I catch you here again, you're banned.
0:04:48 > 0:04:55You can't ban ME, 'cos my daddy donated the scoreboard. Ban me, and he'll take it away.
0:04:55 > 0:05:02We don't need a scoreboard, we ain't scored any runs all year. Get out there!
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Boss, I got a question.- What?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Think I need a nickname?
0:05:08 > 0:05:13- All the great ones have nicknames. What was the one you said?- Pokey!
0:05:13 > 0:05:18- What do you think of Pokey? - You got three minutes!
0:05:20 > 0:05:27- Time for another quickie! - You gotta get on the pitch! - We got three minutes!
0:05:27 > 0:05:31INSTRUMENTAL: "Rock Around The Clock"
0:05:39 > 0:05:43ANNOUNCER: The Clown Prince of Baseball!
0:05:43 > 0:05:50And now, the greatest show on dirt, your own DURHAM BULLS! APPLAUSE
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I'm there. I'm ready.
0:06:01 > 0:06:06RADIO: 'The voice of The Durham Bulls, Teddy Garland.'
0:06:06 > 0:06:10The Bulls lost their first 3 games,
0:06:10 > 0:06:15but hope to win with the debut of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.
0:06:16 > 0:06:23- Stay out of the clubhouse. You'll get everybody in trouble. - I got lured.
0:06:23 > 0:06:31Women do NOT get lured. They are too strong. Say, "I accept full responsibility for my actions."
0:06:31 > 0:06:36- I accept full responsibility for my actions.- Better!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- Got your radar ready?- Ready.- Go.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Lead-off hitter is Willie Foster.
0:06:44 > 0:06:49The young pitcher sometimes has problems with his control.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Damn!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09One ball, no strike.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18No problem! Go get him - 1, 2, 3!
0:07:18 > 0:07:24- 95 miles an hour.- That's great. He looks just great.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36For the Peninsula Whitesox, Alan Holly.
0:07:36 > 0:07:42- What's it say?- He's not bending his back on his follow-through.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Scotty.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Take this to Ebby Calvin.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52Let's get down to it. How WAS Ebby Calvin LaLoosh?
0:07:52 > 0:07:56Well, like he pitches, all over the place.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59# 1, 2, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock rock
0:07:59 > 0:08:04# 5, 6, 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock rock 9, 10, 11 o'clock, 12 o'clock rock
0:08:04 > 0:08:09# We're gonna rock around the clock tonight! #
0:08:20 > 0:08:22My!
0:08:29 > 0:08:34- He walked eighteen. - A new league record.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38- Struck out eighteen. - ANOTHER new league record.
0:08:38 > 0:08:46AND he hit the sports writers, the announcer, the bull mascot TWICE - also new league records!
0:08:47 > 0:08:52But, Joe, this guy's got some serious shit.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57- Yeah.- Yeah!- Serious shit.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Who are you? Who's he?
0:09:05 > 0:09:09- The player to be named later. - Crash Davis.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12I'm Joe Riggins.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15You, Larry Hockett, SHOULD know me.
0:09:15 > 0:09:20You were pitchin' for El Paso, I was hitting for Shreveport.
0:09:20 > 0:09:30You hung a curved ball on an oh-two pitch in a three-two game, and I tattooed it over the Michelin sign.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34I remember! How you doin', man?
0:09:34 > 0:09:39I'm too old for this shit. Why the hell am I back in A-ball?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42'Cos of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.
0:09:42 > 0:09:49- Big club's got 100 grand in him. - He's got a million-dollar arm, but a five-cent head!
0:09:49 > 0:09:56Last 5 pitches he threw were faster than the first five. The best I've seen in 30 years.
0:09:56 > 0:10:03You've been around, you're smart. We want you to mature the kid.
0:10:03 > 0:10:09We want you to room with him, stay on his case. He can go all the way.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Yeah? Where can- I- go (?)
0:10:13 > 0:10:16You'll get paid to do it.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- Beats working at Sears. - < Sears sucks!
0:10:20 > 0:10:25I once worked there. Nasty work. Nasty.
0:10:25 > 0:10:32- Even if it is the Carolina League, you can play every day. - You want a stable pony.
0:10:32 > 0:10:37- No!- You want me to hold the flavour of the month's hand.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Fuck this fucking game.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51I fucking quit.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54I quit!
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Who are we playing tomorrow?
0:11:11 > 0:11:15Winston Salem. Batting practice 11.30.
0:11:16 > 0:11:20How does it feel to get your first professional win?
0:11:20 > 0:11:24It feels out there. It's a major rush.
0:11:24 > 0:11:29I mean, it doesn't just feel out there, it feels OUT there.
0:11:29 > 0:11:37- Kind of radical, you know.- He's hopeless! Utterly fucking hopeless.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Hey, I'm Millie.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56- Tony. I play second base. - I know!
0:11:56 > 0:12:03- How do you just keep coming back every year?- I love the game, Annie. I love it.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- We didn't order these. - He did.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09- Who?- The guy in the booth.
0:12:12 > 0:12:17- Who's that?- That's Crash Davis. Hey, Crash, come here!
0:12:21 > 0:12:26- He's kinda cute.- He's played at more ball parks than I have.
0:12:26 > 0:12:31He's different. I saw him read a book without pictures once!
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- Hi, Max.- How you doin', Crash?
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Come over and sit down.
0:12:39 > 0:12:44- I'm Crash.- Annie Savoy. Wanna dance?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- I don't dance.- How embarrassing.
0:12:50 > 0:12:53What is THAT?!
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- Who's he dancing with?- All of 'em!
0:13:22 > 0:13:28- Annie Savoy?- Uh-huh. - Thanks for your note. - Gotta lot of arm there!
0:13:28 > 0:13:32Thanks. Uh...Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.
0:13:32 > 0:13:39- You need a nickname, honey. - I've been telling everybody that! Wanna dance?- Yeah.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43- She's dancing with me. - 'Fraid not.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46You boys gonna fight over me?
0:13:48 > 0:13:53- Nah.- Let's go. Step outside and party, man.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58Oh, guys!
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- Oh, Max, let's dance.- Sure!
0:14:07 > 0:14:10You comin' or not, homeboy?
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Let's go, man! We're waitin'!
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Let's go, homeboy! - There he is!
0:14:36 > 0:14:40- I don't believe in fighting... - LAUGHTER
0:14:40 > 0:14:43That's really sweet(!)
0:14:43 > 0:14:46MAKES CHICKEN NOISES
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Take the first shot at me.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56No way. I don't hit no man first.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59All right, then.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03Hit me in the chest with that.
0:15:04 > 0:15:11- I'd kill you. - You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking boat.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Owwww!
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Throw it.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Right in the chest.
0:15:20 > 0:15:25- No way.- You're not gonna hit me 'cos you're starting to think...
0:15:25 > 0:15:31about how embarrassing it would be to miss in front of all these people.
0:15:31 > 0:15:36Come on! Show us that million-dollar arm.
0:15:36 > 0:15:42- I got a good idea about that 5-cent head of yours.- Come on!
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Fuck!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Ball four.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Who the fuck are you, man?
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Good punch.
0:15:58 > 0:16:04I'm Crash Davis, your new catcher. Lesson number one - don't think.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07It can only hurt the ball club.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Come in. I'll buy you a drink.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23My new catcher.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30# 'Cos you know you're my kind
0:16:30 > 0:16:33# And I want for you to be mine... #
0:16:33 > 0:16:41- We fight, she gets the clown. How does that happen? - I like this song.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53You stopped fighting?
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Pals now? That's good.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00I love this macho male bonding.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I think it's sweet. I do.
0:17:03 > 0:17:08Even if it IS latent homosexuality, who cares, right?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16OK. Shall we go to MY place?
0:17:17 > 0:17:21- Which one of us? - Well, BOTH of you!
0:17:55 > 0:17:57These are the ground rules.
0:17:57 > 0:18:04I hook up with one guy a season. It's kinda my own spring training.
0:18:04 > 0:18:09And you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far.
0:18:09 > 0:18:16- So I thought we should get to know each other.- Time out. Why do you get to choose?
0:18:16 > 0:18:21- What?- Why do you get to choose? Why don't we get to choose?
0:18:21 > 0:18:28Nobody on this planet actually really chooses each other.
0:18:28 > 0:18:36Physics and laws we don't understand bring us together and tear us apart. It's like pheromones.
0:18:36 > 0:18:423 ants together can't do dick, but 300 million can build a cathedral!
0:18:44 > 0:18:47So, who goes to bed...?
0:18:47 > 0:18:51You're a nuclear meltdown. Cool off.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Where are you goin'?
0:18:54 > 0:18:59After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out.
0:18:59 > 0:19:04And I don't believe in physics when it comes to matters of the heart.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10- What DO you believe in, then? - Well, I believe in the soul...
0:19:10 > 0:19:17the cock, the pussy, the hanging curve ball, high fibre, good scotch...
0:19:17 > 0:19:21that Susan Sontag novels are crap,
0:19:21 > 0:19:27I believe they should outlaw astroturf and the designated hitter,
0:19:27 > 0:19:30I believe in soft-core pornography,
0:19:30 > 0:19:38opening presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and long, slow, deep, wet kisses.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Goodnight.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Oh, my! Crash...
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Hey, Annie...
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Crash!
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Wait!
0:19:51 > 0:19:59- All I want is a date... - I'm not interested in a woman who's interested in that boy.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- I'm not interested yet.- Boy?! - See ya!
0:20:03 > 0:20:08- Nobody's ever said "no" to a date with me.- He's crazy.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I want you bad.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18RECORD PLAYS: "La Vie En Rose"
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Slow down!
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I wanna watch!
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Go ahead. Put it back on.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32Geez! What kinda chick are you?
0:20:32 > 0:20:40- When you know how to make love, you'll know how to pitch. - I know how to pitch.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Good.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Now, take it off...slowly.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59That's nice!
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Oh, my! What a nice back.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13Honey...s-sweetheart...try...
0:21:14 > 0:21:19- Try taking off your shoes and socks first.- My socks? It's cold in here.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25- What?- You think Dwight Gooden leaves HIS socks on?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Ebby, honey...
0:21:58 > 0:22:01ever been tied up in bed?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Whoo-hoo! Bring it on, baby!
0:22:32 > 0:22:38- I heard about shit like this. - Ever heard about Walt Whitman?
0:22:38 > 0:22:45- Who's he play for?- He pitches for the Cosmic All-Stars.- Never heard of him.- Listen to this...
0:22:45 > 0:22:53"I sing the body electric. The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them.
0:22:53 > 0:23:00"They will not let me off till I go with them and respond to them.
0:23:00 > 0:23:09"But the expression of a well-made man appears not only in his face, it is in his limbs and joints also.
0:23:09 > 0:23:15- "It is..."- Excuse me. Are we gonna fuck or what?
0:23:15 > 0:23:22"It is curiously in the joints of his hips...and wrists.
0:23:22 > 0:23:31"Love-flesh swelling and deliciously aching, limpid jets of love, hot and enormous."
0:23:38 > 0:23:41Guys, your attention for a minute.
0:23:41 > 0:23:46Daily chapel service in the locker rooms at 3pm.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Y'all invited to worship.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Loosen up and get laid!
0:23:52 > 0:23:59I know you all think I'm pretty square, but...uh... I believe what I believe.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02WOLF WHISTLES
0:24:02 > 0:24:07- Jesus, Ebby! You look like a truck ran over you.- Nuke.
0:24:07 > 0:24:14- Call me Nuke. Annie says it's my new nickname. - OK, Nuke. Go get 'em!
0:24:14 > 0:24:19Annie nailed ya? Great. Means you're gonna have a great year.
0:24:19 > 0:24:23Is she...uh... as good as they say?
0:24:25 > 0:24:31We didn't do anything. She read poetry to me all night.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34It's more tiring.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40"Limpid jets of love."
0:24:43 > 0:24:51- Hey, Crash, does that mean what I THINK it means?- Your shower shoes have fungus on them.
0:24:51 > 0:24:55You'll never make it to the bigs like that!
0:24:55 > 0:24:58Think classy, you'll BE classy.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03Win 20 in the show, and the press will think you're colourful.
0:25:03 > 0:25:09Until you win 20 in the show, however, it means you're a slob.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16ANNOUNCER: Saturday is Bull Day.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Too bad, Butch. Too bad.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30You're not gettin' that cheese by ME!
0:25:30 > 0:25:36And now, batting for the Bulls, number eight, Crash Davis!
0:25:47 > 0:25:50MUTTERS TO HIMSELF
0:25:54 > 0:25:58Why does he start me off with a hammer?
0:25:58 > 0:26:04'You're thinkin' too much, Crash. Get out of your head.'
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Come on, just relax, you got it.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10'Here we go. Stay back. Relax.'
0:26:12 > 0:26:15Foul ball! >
0:26:18 > 0:26:22Throw that shit again...
0:26:22 > 0:26:26You got it, you got it, baby! One more!
0:26:26 > 0:26:35'All right. He's gonna throw the deuce now. Stay back and wipe that silly grin off his face.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37'Come on, bring it.'
0:26:39 > 0:26:47- What was that? What the hell was THAT? - Son-of-a-bitch throws hard.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Take it easy, honey.
0:26:52 > 0:26:57'All right. One and two. Forget this shit. Relax. Annie.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00'Annie? Who's this Annie?
0:27:00 > 0:27:04'Jesus! Get the broad out of your head!'
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Time out!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Rag.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Get a hit, Crash.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Shut up.
0:27:22 > 0:27:28All right, you've seen all his pitches, you've seen 'em all.
0:27:28 > 0:27:33'Just shorten up, Crash. Bring me the gas, kid.'
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Bring me the gas.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Three! >
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Scotty. Baby, take this to Crash.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00For Crash.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05- Crash.- What?- Don't ask me.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Read it.
0:28:10 > 0:28:17"Dear Crash, you have a lovely swing but you're pulling your hips out too early.
0:28:17 > 0:28:22"I'd be happy to meet you to discuss it. Annie."
0:28:22 > 0:28:27Annie knows if you're pulling your hips out too early!
0:28:32 > 0:28:38It's kind of a personal note, kid, so don't read it. There you go.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50What's it say?
0:28:50 > 0:28:55It says, "I want to make love to you. Crash."
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Oh, my!
0:29:05 > 0:29:08- See my hips?- Yep!
0:29:09 > 0:29:12I think Susan Sontag is brilliant.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16So, is this gonna happen? Us?
0:29:16 > 0:29:21I'm committed to Nuke for the season.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23Oh.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26You had your chance.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29What do you see in him?
0:29:29 > 0:29:33He's a young, wild... dim pretty-boy.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Young men are uncomplicated.
0:29:36 > 0:29:41And he's not dim he's just...inexperienced.
0:29:41 > 0:29:46It's my job to give him life wisdom and help him.
0:29:46 > 0:29:51- That's funny. That's MY job too. - Damn!
0:29:51 > 0:29:57- You're pulling your hips. - I know, I know. But they're NICE hips.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00- I looked up your records.- What?
0:30:00 > 0:30:06- You hit 227 home runs in the minors.- Don't tell anybody.
0:30:06 > 0:30:11Why not? 20 more and you'll be the all-time minor league champ.
0:30:11 > 0:30:19- 247 home runs in the minor leagues would be a kinda dubious honour. - It would be great.
0:30:19 > 0:30:24- The Sporting News should know. - No. Please.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26OK.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30Last chance. Your place or mine?
0:30:31 > 0:30:38I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- Gimme a break!- It's true.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44Stop it!
0:30:44 > 0:30:51The fact is, you're afraid of meeting a guy like me 'cos it might be real.
0:30:51 > 0:30:59You ruin it with some bullshit about commitment to a boy you can boss around.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02- Nice.- I know women like you.
0:31:04 > 0:31:13You're a regular patron saint. Stray cats, lost causes... or 6ft 3inch homeless studs(!)
0:31:13 > 0:31:16You DO make speeches(!)
0:31:20 > 0:31:23ANNIE MOANS IN PLEASURE
0:31:27 > 0:31:30Ohhhh, my!
0:31:31 > 0:31:34Crash, that was fabulous.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Crash?
0:31:37 > 0:31:40You mean Nuke. You said Crash.
0:31:41 > 0:31:46No, honey, no I didn't. I said Nuke.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49- You said CRASH.- No, I didn't.
0:31:49 > 0:31:57You shouldn't listen to what a woman says when she's in the throes of passion.
0:31:57 > 0:32:04- Yeah. You said Crash. - Would you rather I was making love to HIM using YOUR name,
0:32:04 > 0:32:07or making love to YOU using HIS?
0:32:12 > 0:32:15Yeah. Maybe you're right.
0:32:18 > 0:32:24Welcome to the Tobacco Growers City Council Little League Cash Drop Day.
0:32:24 > 0:32:28These young fellas, young men, I should say...
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Hi, eighteen. Hi, twelve.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34Hi, Dino.
0:32:37 > 0:32:40Hey, Millie.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46- Hey, I'm Millie. - I'm married.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55What IS that?
0:32:55 > 0:33:02- Chicken bone cross. Takes the curse off the bat. - Are you a goddamn witch?
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Yes.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07A switch-hitting witch.
0:33:07 > 0:33:12- Will that work for me? - If you believe in voodoo.
0:33:12 > 0:33:18I'm zero for 16. I can't remember the last time I had a base hit.
0:33:18 > 0:33:24- Let me have that. - That's not belief. That's desperation.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27Jose, just touch my bat once.
0:33:27 > 0:33:33- I won't bother you again. Just touch the bat once. - HELICOPTER WHIRRS
0:33:33 > 0:33:35Five! Four! Three!
0:33:37 > 0:33:39Two!
0:33:39 > 0:33:42One! Go!
0:33:42 > 0:33:44One thousand big ones!
0:34:14 > 0:34:16Time out.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19Stay there. Gimme the ball.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22Hey...
0:34:22 > 0:34:24relax!
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Don't try to strike everybody out.
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Strike outs are boring. And fascist.
0:34:30 > 0:34:34Throw some ground balls. More democratic.
0:34:35 > 0:34:38What's this guy know anyway?
0:34:38 > 0:34:43If he's so hot, how come Annie wants ME instead of HIM?
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Another thing, you don't know shit.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49You wanna make it, listen to me.
0:34:49 > 0:34:54Annie only wants you so she can boss you around.
0:34:54 > 0:34:58Let's have fun! This game's fun! OK? Fun!
0:34:59 > 0:35:05And don't hold the ball so hard. It's an egg. Hold it like an egg.
0:35:06 > 0:35:14- What does HE know about fun? I'm young.- I- know about fun. He's an old man.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22Why's he calling for a curve ball?
0:35:22 > 0:35:27I wanna bring heat. Shake him off. Throw what you wanna.
0:35:33 > 0:35:39Time out. Hey! Why are you shakin' me off? Huh?
0:35:39 > 0:35:44- I wanna bring the heater.- What? - Announce my presence with authority.
0:35:44 > 0:35:52- This guy's a first ball fast ball hitter. He's looking for heat! - He ain't seen MY heat!
0:35:53 > 0:35:56All right, meat.
0:35:56 > 0:36:02Why does he call me "meat"? I'M the guy driving the Porsche.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06Fast ball.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12Slow down, slow down, boy.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Home run for The Generals!
0:36:25 > 0:36:28What are you doing?
0:36:28 > 0:36:31I gave you a gift. Run, dummy!
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Ball.
0:36:37 > 0:36:40He hit the shit outta that one!
0:36:41 > 0:36:46- Held it like an egg. - Yeah. And he scrambled it!
0:36:48 > 0:36:53- You having fun yet? - I'm having a blast(!)- Good.
0:36:53 > 0:37:00- He teed off like he knew I was gonna throw a fast ball. - He DID know.- How?
0:37:00 > 0:37:03I told him.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Come on, come on, you got him!
0:37:08 > 0:37:13Don't think, just throw. Don't think, just throw.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Beautiful! What did I do?
0:37:34 > 0:37:37Hang on. Here we go again.
0:37:59 > 0:38:04The first home run of the year for Crash Davis.
0:38:04 > 0:38:08Fayetteville 14, Durham 2.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11Helluva shot.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14Sorry it got wasted.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17I dunno what to do with these guys.
0:38:17 > 0:38:21I beg, I plead... I try to be a nice guy.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24- I'm a nice...- Scare 'em.- Huh?
0:38:24 > 0:38:27They're kids. Scare 'em.
0:38:28 > 0:38:31That's what I'D do.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Yeah.
0:38:38 > 0:38:46EVERYBODY INTO THE SHOWER! IF YOU AIN'T IN IT IN 10 SECONDS, YOU GET FINED 100! LARRY!
0:38:46 > 0:38:51LARRY COUNTS THE SECONDS Get in there!
0:38:57 > 0:39:03You guys... You lolly-gag the ball around the in-field(!)
0:39:03 > 0:39:07You lolly-gag into the dug-out.
0:39:07 > 0:39:11Know what that makes you? Lolly-gaggers!
0:39:11 > 0:39:18- What's our record, Larry? - 8 and 16. - How did we ever win 8?
0:39:18 > 0:39:22- It's a miracle. - It's a miracle.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26This...is a simple game.
0:39:27 > 0:39:30You throw the ball,
0:39:30 > 0:39:35you hit the ball... you catch the ball.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38YOU GOT IT?
0:39:38 > 0:39:41We have got a 12-day road trip,
0:39:41 > 0:39:44starting tomorrow.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47We leave at 6 in the morning.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50CURSES AS HE GOES
0:39:53 > 0:39:56Skipper, you wanted to see me?
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Yeah, Bobby. Shut the door.
0:40:09 > 0:40:14This is the toughest job a manager has.
0:40:14 > 0:40:20But we've decided to make a change. We're releasing you from your contract.
0:40:20 > 0:40:24I'm in a slump, but I hit the ball hard today.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27I'm right back in the groove.
0:40:29 > 0:40:30Sorry.
0:40:34 > 0:40:35Hey.
0:40:41 > 0:40:42Nuke!
0:40:43 > 0:40:44Honey!
0:40:51 > 0:40:54Wear these when you're pitchin'.
0:40:54 > 0:41:00- What are they?- Garters. They'll hug your waist and dangle off your thighs.
0:41:00 > 0:41:06And they'll remind you of me. Nicer than those nasty hitters!
0:41:06 > 0:41:16- Jesus, Annie, I don't know! - They'll help you pitch.- Big league pitchers don't use these.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19- They did in the Carolina League. - < Nuke!
0:41:19 > 0:41:22- Time to go to work.- 'Bye.
0:41:30 > 0:41:32'Bye, y'all!
0:41:33 > 0:41:36'Bye! Go get 'em, boys!
0:41:55 > 0:41:58- #- She may get woolly
0:41:58 > 0:42:02- #- Young girls they do get woolly
0:42:02 > 0:42:06- #- 'Cos of all the stress
0:42:06 > 0:42:08- #- Ye-a-ah!
0:42:09 > 0:42:12- #- When they get woolly
0:42:12 > 0:42:16- #- Try a little... tenderness...yeah!- #
0:42:16 > 0:42:19Stop it.
0:42:20 > 0:42:25- What?- It's not "woolly". Nobody gets woolly.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28Women get weary, not woolly.
0:42:28 > 0:42:33I hate people that get the words wrong!
0:42:34 > 0:42:37How come you don't like me?
0:42:37 > 0:42:44You don't respect yourself, that's your problem. You don't respect the game. That's MINE.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47- You got a gift.- What?
0:42:47 > 0:42:52The Gods turned your right arm into a thunderbolt.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55But you're pissing it away.
0:42:55 > 0:43:00I'm not! I got a Porsche, a 911 with a quadrophonic Blaupunkt.
0:43:00 > 0:43:05You don't need a quadrophonic Blaupunkt! You need a curve ball.
0:43:05 > 0:43:13- In the show, everybody can hit a fast ball.- How would YOU know? Been in the Majors(?)
0:43:13 > 0:43:16Yeah. I've been in the Majors.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20You've been in the show, man?
0:43:20 > 0:43:23Yeah. I was in the show.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26I was in the show for 21 days once.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30The greatest days of my life.
0:43:31 > 0:43:37You never handle your luggage. Somebody else carries your bags.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40You hit white balls for practice.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43The ball parks are like cathedrals.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48The hotels all have room service.
0:43:48 > 0:43:52The women all have long legs and brains.
0:43:53 > 0:43:57- Really hot, huh? - And so are the pitchers.
0:43:57 > 0:44:03They throw ungodly breaking stuff in the show. Exploding sliders...
0:44:04 > 0:44:10Nuke could be one of those guys. But you don't give a damn, meat.
0:44:10 > 0:44:13I'm tired of you calling me meat.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17- You wanna step outside?- Yeah.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Hey, hey, hey, hey!
0:44:24 > 0:44:27Crash, Crash, what's happening?
0:44:27 > 0:44:35- I was just gonna ask Crash to show me how to throw a breaking ball.- Good idea.
0:45:10 > 0:45:16The Durham pitchers are unable to get the first out of the innings.
0:45:36 > 0:45:41'The Bulls attempt to end a losing streak...'
0:45:51 > 0:45:55Base hit to centre field off LaLoosh.
0:46:00 > 0:46:03That closes the book on LaLoosh.
0:46:03 > 0:46:08'Five hits, five strike outs and five wild pitches!
0:46:08 > 0:46:14'This is the most wretched road trip I've seen in 20 years,
0:46:14 > 0:46:16'the worst Durham team in 50.'
0:46:16 > 0:46:21Only Crash Davis stands out this year.
0:46:21 > 0:46:27'What are these boys thinking about? It sure ain't baseball.'
0:46:43 > 0:46:46Hey, Mr Hormone, check out this.
0:46:46 > 0:46:49Ice-skaters! Look at 'em!
0:46:49 > 0:46:55One night with these skaters > and we can get back on track!
0:46:55 > 0:47:00We need a night off. What we need is a rain-out.
0:47:00 > 0:47:08- I can get us a rain-out. - There ain't been a cloud in weeks. - 100 says I can get us a rain-out.
0:47:13 > 0:47:16You're on!
0:47:22 > 0:47:25I ain't paying for this! Crash?
0:47:25 > 0:47:30Shut up. You'll wake everybody up. Let the baby pay for it.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54Hey, Crash, what are you doing?
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Oh, my goodness!
0:48:05 > 0:48:10We got ourselves a natural disaster!
0:48:19 > 0:48:22# Last night
0:48:22 > 0:48:25# I got loaded
0:48:25 > 0:48:29# On a bottle of gin On a bottle of gin
0:48:29 > 0:48:32# Last night
0:48:32 > 0:48:34# I got loaded
0:48:35 > 0:48:39# On a bottle of gin A bottle of gin
0:48:39 > 0:48:42# But I feel all right
0:48:42 > 0:48:44# I feel all right!
0:48:46 > 0:48:49# I feel all right! I feel all right!
0:48:50 > 0:48:53# Feel all right! #
0:49:10 > 0:49:14# She may be weary
0:49:17 > 0:49:20# Women do get weary
0:49:21 > 0:49:25# Wearing the same old shabby dress
0:49:29 > 0:49:32# And when she's weary
0:49:34 > 0:49:36# Tr-y-y-y-y a little tenderness. #
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Hey.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52- Hey. Wake up.- Huh?
0:49:52 > 0:49:55You're awake. You're OK.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58You were dreaming.
0:49:59 > 0:50:02You're OK?
0:50:02 > 0:50:05I was playing naked.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08- What?- I was naked.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11Playing naked.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15I know. I have that dream all the time.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19We're almost home.
0:50:42 > 0:50:44Hi!
0:50:53 > 0:50:56# I've been made blue
0:50:57 > 0:51:00# I've been lied to
0:51:01 > 0:51:04# When will I be loved? #
0:51:04 > 0:51:06I'm tired!
0:51:06 > 0:51:12What a trip. I was lousy. I mean, I was WORSE than lousy.
0:51:12 > 0:51:17Every time I pitched it was like throwing gasoline on a fire.
0:51:17 > 0:51:20Peow! Peow! Peow! Peow!
0:51:20 > 0:51:26- I mean, I...I...- What's all this "I, I, I" stuff? What about ME?
0:51:26 > 0:51:30Glad to see me? Don't I look nice?
0:51:30 > 0:51:33You look great. I'm sorry.
0:51:33 > 0:51:39- I'm exhausted.- Good. Exhaustion can be spiritually fabulous.
0:51:39 > 0:51:44- What you need is a good game of catch.- Catch?- Mm-hh.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47Fire one in here!
0:51:47 > 0:51:52- This is ridiculous! - Give it a try! Lean in.
0:51:53 > 0:51:56Thank you.
0:51:56 > 0:51:57Now...
0:51:57 > 0:52:03- Breathe through your eyelids. - My eyelids?- Like a lava lizard.
0:52:03 > 0:52:06It has an eye round the back.
0:52:06 > 0:52:11Ever notice how Fernando Valenzuela doesn't look when he pitches?
0:52:11 > 0:52:15He's a Mayan Indian. Or an Aztec. I get 'em confused.
0:52:15 > 0:52:23- So do I.- Be aware of the sharpa connection between your feet and your testicles.- Sharpa?- Yeah.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Right leg, left testicle. Left leg,
0:52:26 > 0:52:29- right testicle.- I like that!- I bet!
0:52:29 > 0:52:33- Come on.- Fire one in there! Come on!
0:52:37 > 0:52:43- You're patronising me.- If I throw too hard I'm gonna hurt the girl.
0:52:43 > 0:52:48This girl has handled pitchers with better records than 1 and 7.
0:52:48 > 0:52:511 and 6. Gimme the ball!
0:52:59 > 0:53:02- How d'you like THAT?- Much better.
0:53:02 > 0:53:07You weren't thinking about it 'cos you were pissed off at ME!
0:53:07 > 0:53:12- Get your butt up here. Bend over... - I give up!
0:53:12 > 0:53:19Let's make love and fall asleep until it's time to go to the ball park.
0:53:19 > 0:53:25If we could take that sexual energy and hold on to it for a few hours...
0:53:25 > 0:53:29and re-channel it into your pitchin'...
0:53:30 > 0:53:33You're a powerful young thing.
0:53:36 > 0:53:43- Want something for that shoulder? - Yeah. I want that shit that don't smell bad.
0:53:56 > 0:54:00That's hot. No, I mean it, that's very hot.
0:54:01 > 0:54:06Annie says they'll keep one side of my brain occupied,
0:54:06 > 0:54:14- thus keeping my brain slightly off centre, where it should be for artists and pitchers.- OK.
0:54:14 > 0:54:20She also said...I should throw whatever pitches you call for.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23Annie's a very smart lady.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27What?
0:54:28 > 0:54:31The rose goes in the front.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45This underwear feels sexy.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48It don't make me queer, right?
0:54:48 > 0:54:50Right.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55Breaking ball.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03All right!
0:55:04 > 0:55:08"I mean, he ain't queer." "No, he ain't."
0:55:13 > 0:55:15Fast ball.
0:55:19 > 0:55:27- 96 miles an hour. Looks good. But why's he twisting up? - He's using his eye, like Fernando.
0:55:27 > 0:55:30Ooh! That was a hum-dinger!
0:55:30 > 0:55:32All right.
0:55:35 > 0:55:38Fast ball again?
0:55:38 > 0:55:41Don't think. Just give 'em the gas.
0:55:47 > 0:55:50What's got into Nuke?
0:55:50 > 0:55:57He's wearing garters, and he's breathing out of his eyelids, like a lava lizard.
0:55:57 > 0:56:00Like the Aztecs. Yeah.
0:56:20 > 0:56:26- I was great, huh? - Your curved ball's hanging.
0:56:26 > 0:56:30In the show, they would have ripped you.
0:56:30 > 0:56:35- Can't you let me enjoy the moment? - It's over.
0:56:35 > 0:56:40This guy starts me off with a breaking ball...
0:56:40 > 0:56:44I'm taking him downtown.
0:56:48 > 0:56:54I dare you to throw me the hammer. You ain't that stupid.
0:56:54 > 0:56:59Our own Crash Davis! Put your hands together for Crash!
0:57:01 > 0:57:04Let's go.
0:57:04 > 0:57:08'Come on. Bring me that weak-ass shit.
0:57:08 > 0:57:11'Bring it, bring it, bring it.'
0:57:15 > 0:57:17Oh, my!
0:57:25 > 0:57:32First time the Bulls have been ahead in weeks. Nuke LaLoosh.
0:57:55 > 0:58:03- What are YOU doing out here? - I want you to throw the next one at the mascot.
0:58:03 > 0:58:08- Why?- Just throw it at the bull, all right? Trust me.
0:58:10 > 0:58:13He's the boss.
0:58:18 > 0:58:25A staggering start by LaLoosh. He's got pinpoint control tonight, Bull fans.
0:58:35 > 0:58:38- This guy's crazy.- Yep.
0:58:38 > 0:58:42The next one might be at your head.
0:58:42 > 0:58:47I dunno where it's gonna go. I swear.
0:59:02 > 0:59:05You're the man!
0:59:06 > 0:59:13COMMENTATOR: Two out. One away from a stunning two-hit shut-out for LaLoosh.
0:59:13 > 0:59:16Don't let up.
0:59:16 > 0:59:19You own these guys.
0:59:19 > 0:59:22Damn. They'd love a shut-out.
0:59:26 > 0:59:28No, no.
0:59:30 > 0:59:35No, no. He's looking for heat. Let me give him the deuce.
0:59:37 > 0:59:42He's shakin' off the signs. Big mistake.
0:59:42 > 0:59:50This son-of-a-bitch is throwing a two-hit shut-out. He's shakin' me off. Can you believe that shit?
0:59:50 > 0:59:55Charlie, here comes the deuce. When you speak of me, speak well.
1:00:13 > 1:00:15Ball.
1:00:19 > 1:00:24- You told him I was gonna throw a deuce, right?- Yep.
1:00:24 > 1:00:29I mean, that ball got outta here in a hurry.
1:00:29 > 1:00:34Anything that travels THAT far ought to have a stewardess on it.
1:01:07 > 1:01:15'When Nuke started listening to Crash, everything fell into place. We started to win.
1:01:15 > 1:01:18'But Nuke was still confused.
1:01:18 > 1:01:26'Encouraged by his victory, he vowed not to have sex until he lost. He kept winning!
1:01:26 > 1:01:33'The Durham Bulls began playing baseball with joy and verve... and poetry.
1:01:33 > 1:01:39'The two sides of my own brain were jumbled up. One side was being neglected,
1:01:39 > 1:01:48'but the other side was in paradise watching our Bulls play like big leaguers.
1:01:48 > 1:01:56'Crash, who kept hittin' dingers, was approaching the minor league record, though I told nobody.
1:01:56 > 1:02:01'The Bulls swept the July 4th double-hitter and tied for first.
1:02:01 > 1:02:04'Beautiful as it was,
1:02:04 > 1:02:10'I was getting damned lonely. I needed a man.'
1:02:17 > 1:02:20Ye-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-h!
1:02:20 > 1:02:24I LOVE winning, man! I LOVE winning.
1:02:24 > 1:02:30Hear what I'm saying? It's like, better than losing(!)
1:02:30 > 1:02:34Teach me something new. I need to learn.
1:02:34 > 1:02:40- It's time to work on your interviews.- My interviews?
1:02:40 > 1:02:48You're gonna have to learn your cliches. Study them, know them. They're your friends.
1:02:48 > 1:02:53Write this down. "We gotta play 'em one day at a time."
1:02:53 > 1:02:59- Pretty boring, isn't it? - 'Course it's boring. Write it down.
1:02:59 > 1:03:01"..one day at a time."
1:03:01 > 1:03:07"I'm just happy to be here. Hope I can help the ball club."
1:03:07 > 1:03:10I know! Write it down.
1:03:10 > 1:03:13"I just wanna give it my best shot
1:03:14 > 1:03:19"and, the good Lord willing, things will work out."
1:03:19 > 1:03:22"..the good Lord willing..."
1:03:22 > 1:03:25"..things will work out." Yep.
1:03:25 > 1:03:28How's Annie?
1:03:29 > 1:03:36She's getting pretty steamed 'cos I'm still re-channeling my sexual energy.
1:03:37 > 1:03:44- I'm just gonna sleep with her, calm her down.- Are you out of your mind?
1:03:44 > 1:03:51- Well...- Are you out of your mind? If you give in now, you might start losing.
1:03:53 > 1:03:57Never fuck with a winning streak.
1:04:08 > 1:04:10Hey, Jimmy!
1:04:10 > 1:04:12Wanna ride?
1:04:12 > 1:04:18- Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your saviour? - No.
1:04:18 > 1:04:24- Can I give you my testimony? - You can do anything you want!
1:04:28 > 1:04:31Hop in.
1:04:33 > 1:04:36I am so proud of you guys.
1:04:38 > 1:04:43- You want some more soup, honey? - No, thanks. That was great.
1:04:47 > 1:04:51How about a little...back rub?
1:04:51 > 1:04:55I...I'm OK. I'll just take a little nap.
1:04:55 > 1:05:00- Want me to tuck you in? - You can't seduce me.
1:05:00 > 1:05:03I'm not gonna try to seduce you.
1:05:06 > 1:05:10- What's that?- That's my leg. - I know.
1:05:10 > 1:05:17As we aren't gonna make love, we could improve your hand-eye co-ordination.
1:05:17 > 1:05:21- Co-ordination?- Unsnap my stocking.
1:05:21 > 1:05:25The other day, Crash called a woman's p...
1:05:25 > 1:05:31pussy...uhm... You know how the hair is kinda in a V shape?
1:05:31 > 1:05:36- Yes, I do.- Well, he called it The Bermuda Triangle.
1:05:36 > 1:05:41- He said a man can get lost in there.- Nasty.
1:05:41 > 1:05:44He didn't mean it nasty.
1:05:44 > 1:05:52He said that getting lost was sometimes a good thing to do, especially like that.
1:05:52 > 1:05:57But he also said that there are times for discipline.
1:05:57 > 1:06:02- And I think this is one of them. - Crash is a very smart man.
1:06:02 > 1:06:05Now, let's give it a try.
1:06:10 > 1:06:12Watch.
1:06:17 > 1:06:20Now, YOU try. Go ahead.
1:06:28 > 1:06:30Yup.
1:06:34 > 1:06:38- You're playing with my mind. - Your BODY.
1:06:38 > 1:06:44- You're trying to seduce me. - Of course I am! Aren't I pretty?
1:06:44 > 1:06:51- God, I think you're real cute. - Cute? Baby ducks are cute. I hate cute!
1:06:51 > 1:06:54I wanna be exotic and mysterious.
1:06:54 > 1:07:01You are! You're exotic, mysterious, cute... I'd better leave.
1:07:01 > 1:07:07- There's no relationship between sex and baseball. Ask Crash.- I did.
1:07:07 > 1:07:14- And what did he say? That if I give in, I'll start losing again.- He did?- Yeah.
1:07:14 > 1:07:17I'll be back when we lose.
1:07:36 > 1:07:42How DARE you tell him to stay out of my bed!
1:07:42 > 1:07:45Knock, knock! "Come in"(!)
1:07:45 > 1:07:50- You're confusing him!- What? - You're CONFUSING him.
1:07:50 > 1:07:57- You got him breathing out of the wrong eyelid! - It's a religious ritual.
1:07:57 > 1:08:02- AND it happens to be working! - Who dresses you?
1:08:02 > 1:08:06- What?- Don't you think that's a little excessive?
1:08:06 > 1:08:14- "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." William Blake.- William Blake?!
1:08:14 > 1:08:18- William Blake!- What do you mean? - William Blake!
1:08:18 > 1:08:23Who are you? I mean, do you have a job?
1:08:23 > 1:08:28I teach part-time at college. English 101 and Composition.
1:08:28 > 1:08:35Having a conversation with you is like a Martian talking to a fungo.
1:08:35 > 1:08:41Just 'cos you're clever sometimes does not mean you're not full of shit.
1:08:41 > 1:08:47- I'm full of shit?- Yes.- ME?- YOU! - Nuke's chastity was YOUR idea. - But...
1:08:47 > 1:08:52- I never told him to stay out of your bed.- You did!- I didn't!
1:08:52 > 1:09:02I told him that if you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid
1:09:02 > 1:09:09or because you're not, or because you wear women's underwear, then you are!
1:09:13 > 1:09:16Think of something clever to say.
1:09:16 > 1:09:21Something full of magic... religion bullshit.
1:09:22 > 1:09:25Come on, dazzle me.
1:09:25 > 1:09:28I want you.
1:09:28 > 1:09:30What?
1:09:30 > 1:09:33- I said, I want you.- Stop it.
1:09:38 > 1:09:41You're scared.
1:09:44 > 1:09:47Maybe I am.
1:09:47 > 1:09:50I still think you should leave.
1:09:52 > 1:09:55OK. Well...
1:09:55 > 1:10:04This is the damnedest season I'VE ever seen! The Bulls can't lose and I can't get laid!
1:10:04 > 1:10:06Damn!
1:10:10 > 1:10:14Super Nuke! Super Nuke! LaLoosh! LaLoosh!
1:10:17 > 1:10:19Relax. Don't aim the ball.
1:10:23 > 1:10:29Anything bothering Nuke? He says his...uh... shockers are jammed.
1:10:29 > 1:10:36He's having trouble breathing out of his...left eyelid? Right eyelid.
1:10:40 > 1:10:42Damn!
1:10:45 > 1:10:51- What's wrong?- I'm a little nervous. My old man's here.
1:10:51 > 1:10:56- Your dad? Where?- Over there. Don't look!
1:10:59 > 1:11:03He's waving. It's just your old man!
1:11:03 > 1:11:07What's going on? Wrong eyelid(?)
1:11:07 > 1:11:12Hear about Jimmy and Millie? They got engaged!
1:11:12 > 1:11:18- Wait till I tell him she's gone down on half the Carolina League!- DON'T!
1:11:18 > 1:11:20Excuse me, guys...
1:11:20 > 1:11:27Don't throw me anything. My girlfriend put a curse on my glove.
1:11:27 > 1:11:35- I'll take the hex off it. - You got to cut the head off a live rooster.
1:11:35 > 1:11:40- What's going on out there? - Looks like a convention.
1:11:40 > 1:11:45Get your ass out there and check it out.
1:11:52 > 1:11:55What the hell's going on out here?
1:11:55 > 1:12:00Nuke's scared 'cos his eyelids have jammed and his old man's here,
1:12:00 > 1:12:05we need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove
1:12:05 > 1:12:11and nobody knows what to get Millie and Jimmy as a wedding present. Right?
1:12:11 > 1:12:14OK. Well, uh...
1:12:14 > 1:12:20Candlesticks make a nice gift and, uh, maybe a place setting.
1:12:20 > 1:12:23OK. Let's get to it!
1:12:28 > 1:12:31BULLS' GAME ON RADIO
1:12:31 > 1:12:34'The ball hits deep...'
1:12:34 > 1:12:38- You should be at the game, Annie. - I'm fine.
1:12:40 > 1:12:47Millie, how much time did you and Jimmy spend together before he proposed?
1:12:47 > 1:12:50About five hours, I guess.
1:12:50 > 1:12:53We both just knew.
1:12:53 > 1:12:58Annie...do you think I deserve to wear white?
1:12:58 > 1:13:02Honey, we ALL deserve to wear white.
1:13:06 > 1:13:07Shit!
1:13:10 > 1:13:12C'mon!
1:13:16 > 1:13:21- Safe!- NO! I GOT HIM! - You missed him.
1:13:21 > 1:13:25- I DIDN'T!- Don't bump me! Don't bump me!
1:13:25 > 1:13:28He still ain't touched the plate!
1:13:28 > 1:13:33- It was cock-sucking call! - You call me a cock-sucker?
1:13:33 > 1:13:36THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER
1:13:36 > 1:13:42- You just spat on me! - I did NOT spit on you!
1:13:42 > 1:13:47- You're in the wrong business! - Want me to run ya? I'll run ya!
1:13:47 > 1:13:54- Want me to call you a cock-sucker? - Try it!- Beg me!- Call me a cock-sucker and you're outta here!
1:13:54 > 1:13:58- You're a cock-sucker!- OUT!
1:14:05 > 1:14:08He called me a cock-sucker!
1:14:10 > 1:14:17'I've never seen Crash so angry. He used a certain word that's a no-no with umpires.'
1:14:18 > 1:14:24- He must have called him a cock-sucker.- He's so romantic!
1:14:24 > 1:14:29'When Crash got thrown out, the game got out of hand.
1:14:29 > 1:14:35'Jose made 3 errors with his cursed mitt. Nuke never got in the groove.
1:14:35 > 1:14:40'The winning streak came to an end with a 3-2 loss.
1:14:40 > 1:14:48'The GOOD news was that a man was about to come calling. BAD news was it was the wrong guy.'
1:14:48 > 1:14:53RECORD PLAYS: "No Regrets" by Edith Piaf
1:14:53 > 1:14:56MUSICAL INTRODUCTION
1:14:56 > 1:15:01# Non, rien de rien
1:15:02 > 1:15:07# Non, je ne regrette rien... #
1:15:07 > 1:15:10KNOCK ON DOOR
1:15:10 > 1:15:13KNOCKING BECOMES LOUDER
1:15:21 > 1:15:23Annie!
1:15:25 > 1:15:28KNOCKING
1:15:28 > 1:15:30Annie!
1:15:30 > 1:15:35I know you're in there. I can hear that crazy Mexican singer.
1:15:39 > 1:15:42We lost.
1:15:42 > 1:15:44It's OK.
1:15:44 > 1:15:52- Annie, I'd like you to meet my father.- Oh, my! - Ebby's told me a lot about you.
1:15:52 > 1:15:57He says you taught him discipline and self-control.
1:15:57 > 1:16:03- We're pleased he met a Christian woman.- Praise the Lord. - Praise the Lord.
1:16:03 > 1:16:07- PHONE RINGS - Excuse me.- Excuse me, Dad.
1:16:09 > 1:16:11Hello.
1:16:11 > 1:16:13What?
1:16:13 > 1:16:21- We got a lot of catching up to do. - Your father...- Crash told me to quit worrying about him, so...
1:16:21 > 1:16:24- We gotta talk. - PHONE
1:16:24 > 1:16:25Hello.
1:16:25 > 1:16:29Yes. He most certainly IS here.
1:16:29 > 1:16:30Skip.
1:16:30 > 1:16:33Hey, Skip, it's me.
1:16:37 > 1:16:39What?
1:16:39 > 1:16:42My God!
1:16:44 > 1:16:46OK.
1:16:47 > 1:16:49Yeah.
1:16:49 > 1:16:52- What?- I'm going to the show.
1:16:57 > 1:16:59Dad!
1:17:00 > 1:17:05They're sending me up to the Majors. I leave tomorrow.
1:17:06 > 1:17:13- Let's have a quick word of prayer. - Let's not.- I gotta find Crash. Come on.- Wait.
1:17:15 > 1:17:18He'll be right with you.
1:17:18 > 1:17:23I want to have you alone so we can say goodbye.
1:17:23 > 1:17:30- I'll be back.- When somebody leaves Durham they don't come back. - I mean later.
1:17:32 > 1:17:34Oh.
1:17:43 > 1:17:46Oh, God. Annie.
1:17:48 > 1:17:51- What do you have in there?- Nothin'.
1:17:52 > 1:17:55You won't need THESE any more.
1:17:55 > 1:18:01- I better take 'em.- You're ready. - You think I'm ready for this?
1:18:02 > 1:18:05Ebby Calvin Nuke LaLoosh!
1:18:06 > 1:18:09Don't think too much.
1:18:12 > 1:18:14I won't.
1:18:16 > 1:18:23Know somethin', Annie? You can't breathe through your eyelids.
1:18:23 > 1:18:29Of course you can't! Who told you such a ridiculous thing?
1:18:41 > 1:18:44Come on.
1:18:47 > 1:18:49Drive careful!
1:18:51 > 1:18:53Oh, my!
1:19:09 > 1:19:12Hey, there you are.
1:19:12 > 1:19:13Crash.
1:19:14 > 1:19:17Hey, Crash, guess what!
1:19:18 > 1:19:21Guess what, man!
1:19:21 > 1:19:24I'm goin' to the show!
1:19:24 > 1:19:29Big club's expanding its roster to finish the season... Nice shot!
1:19:29 > 1:19:34- And- I- am going to the show! - So why don't you go?
1:19:34 > 1:19:37Well, let's celebrate!
1:19:37 > 1:19:39Congratulations.
1:19:39 > 1:19:44Hope you end up on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
1:19:46 > 1:19:52- I'm trying to thank you. Let's get out of this dump...- Hey!
1:19:52 > 1:19:59- Calling my place a dump?- No. No, he's not. He's not, are you? - No.- He's not.
1:19:59 > 1:20:02All right?
1:20:02 > 1:20:06Nuke, you know who this is? Sandy Grimes.
1:20:06 > 1:20:11- He sit .371 in Louisville in 1965.- .376.
1:20:11 > 1:20:16I'm sorry. .376. That's a career, man.
1:20:16 > 1:20:19In ANY league.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22Did you hear what I said?
1:20:22 > 1:20:25I'm going to the show!
1:20:25 > 1:20:31Know what the difference between hitting .250 and .300 is? 25 hits.
1:20:31 > 1:20:3625 hits in 500 bats is 50 points. OK?
1:20:36 > 1:20:39There are about 25 weeks a season.
1:20:39 > 1:20:42If you get one extra flair a week,
1:20:42 > 1:20:47you get a groundball, you get a groundball with eyes,
1:20:47 > 1:20:55you get a dying quail, just one more dying quail a week... you're in Yankee Stadium.
1:20:55 > 1:21:01You still don't know what I'm talking about. Get outta here.
1:21:01 > 1:21:03All right.
1:21:03 > 1:21:08- I'll send you a postcard(!) - Hey, I made it!- You made shit!
1:21:08 > 1:21:10Hey!
1:21:15 > 1:21:21- You crazy?- What's wrong with you? - I'll be all right.- My mirror!
1:21:21 > 1:21:25Shit, I'm sorry. HEY!
1:21:25 > 1:21:29- I'm not gonna fight you, man. - What do you mean, you fuck?
1:21:29 > 1:21:32- Why am I a fuck?- Cos you got talent.
1:21:32 > 1:21:35I got brains, but you got talent.
1:21:35 > 1:21:40See this right arm? Worth a million bucks a year.
1:21:40 > 1:21:44- All my limbs put together aren't worth 7 cents a pound. - You're a great catcher.- I am(?)
1:21:44 > 1:21:47I'm a great catcher?
1:21:47 > 1:21:49Just forget it.
1:21:49 > 1:21:50Meat!
1:21:53 > 1:21:55Damn!
1:21:55 > 1:21:58I didn't mean to hit you, man.
1:21:59 > 1:22:02You hurt my eye.
1:22:04 > 1:22:09- Sorry.- Did you hit me with your right hand or your left?
1:22:09 > 1:22:15- Did you hit me with your right hand or your left?- My left.
1:22:15 > 1:22:21Good. When you fight, you don't hit with your pitching hand.
1:22:21 > 1:22:27I can't keep giving you free lessons, so help me up!
1:22:33 > 1:22:36You look great, man.
1:22:45 > 1:22:50Careful with that. We got a boy going to the show!
1:23:18 > 1:23:21Sorry about last night.
1:23:23 > 1:23:25Forget it.
1:23:29 > 1:23:34I have been known on occasion to howl at the moon.
1:23:34 > 1:23:36You understand?
1:23:39 > 1:23:40Uhm...
1:23:41 > 1:23:43No.
1:23:43 > 1:23:45Well, you will.
1:23:46 > 1:23:51Look, Nuke, these big league hitters are gonna light you up
1:23:51 > 1:23:54like a pinball machine for a while.
1:23:54 > 1:24:00Don't worry about it. Be cocky and arrogant even when you're getting beat.
1:24:00 > 1:24:03That's the secret.
1:24:05 > 1:24:10You gotta play this game with fear and arrogance.
1:24:10 > 1:24:13Fear and ignorance.
1:24:14 > 1:24:17No. Fear and ARROGANCE.
1:24:17 > 1:24:23- Not ignorance!- No, I know. I just like seeing you get worked up.
1:24:29 > 1:24:31Listen, uh...
1:24:33 > 1:24:35..thanks.
1:24:50 > 1:24:52Hey, Nuke.
1:24:55 > 1:24:59- Good luck.- You too.
1:24:59 > 1:25:01Meat.
1:25:19 > 1:25:24I know pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss the bride.
1:25:26 > 1:25:29WILD APPLAUSE
1:25:55 > 1:26:00Jimmy, we all pitched in and got you a little gift.
1:26:00 > 1:26:05A special wedding cake from the Durham Bulls.
1:26:06 > 1:26:08Oh, my Lord!
1:26:13 > 1:26:18Yeah, Skip? You wanted to see me?
1:26:19 > 1:26:22Crash...shut the door.
1:26:41 > 1:26:45This is the toughest job a manager has.
1:26:47 > 1:26:49But...
1:26:50 > 1:26:54..the organisation wants to make a change.
1:26:55 > 1:27:00Now that Nuke's gone, they wanna bring up some young catcher.
1:27:00 > 1:27:05< Some kid hitting .300 in Bluefield.
1:27:05 > 1:27:10I put in a word for you > with the organisation.
1:27:10 > 1:27:15Said you'd make a fine > minor league manager.
1:27:15 > 1:27:20There might be an opening > at Visalia next year.
1:27:21 > 1:27:24You had a helluva year, Crash. >
1:27:27 > 1:27:30But you know how it is. >
1:28:49 > 1:28:51I got released.
1:28:51 > 1:28:54I heard already.
1:30:06 > 1:30:09Oh, my...!
1:31:03 > 1:31:08I think, probably with my love of four-legged creatures,
1:31:08 > 1:31:15in another life I was probably Catherine the Great or Francis of Assisi.
1:31:15 > 1:31:18What do you think, honey?
1:31:19 > 1:31:24How come in former lifetimes everybody's somebody famous?
1:31:29 > 1:31:32I mean...
1:31:32 > 1:31:39- ..how come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmoe? - Because it doesn't work that way!
1:31:47 > 1:31:50God, you were gorgeous.
1:31:51 > 1:31:53You wanna dance?
1:32:08 > 1:32:09Yes.
1:32:10 > 1:32:12Guess you do!
1:32:26 > 1:32:29# Sixty minute man
1:32:30 > 1:32:33# Sixty minute ma-a-a-a-an
1:32:33 > 1:32:39# Girls, I'm telling you now They call me Lovin' Dan
1:32:39 > 1:32:43# I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
1:32:43 > 1:32:46# I'm a sixty minute man
1:32:47 > 1:32:50# If you don't believe I'm all I say
1:32:50 > 1:32:54# Come up here and take my hand
1:32:54 > 1:33:01# When I let you go You'll cry "Oh, yes! He's a sixty minute man!"
1:33:01 > 1:33:04# There'll be 15 minutes of kissing
1:33:04 > 1:33:08# Then, "Oh, honey, please don't stop"
1:33:08 > 1:33:11# There'll be 15 minutes teasing 15 minutes pleasing
1:33:11 > 1:33:15# 15 minutes of blowing my top!
1:33:15 > 1:33:22# If your old man ain't treating you right Come up and see your Dan
1:33:22 > 1:33:25# I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
1:33:25 > 1:33:29# I'm a sixty minute man
1:33:29 > 1:33:32# Sixty minute man
1:33:36 > 1:33:39# I rock 'em, roll 'em all night long
1:33:39 > 1:33:42# I'm a sixty minute man
1:33:43 > 1:33:49# Sixty minute man! #
1:34:39 > 1:34:46'Crash took off. Heard there might be an opening for a catcher in Ashville.
1:34:46 > 1:34:52'A woman should be so strong that she's not affected by such things.
1:34:52 > 1:34:58'It wasn't the first time I went to bed with a guy and woke up with a note.
1:34:58 > 1:35:01'At least he left me breakfast.
1:35:01 > 1:35:08'You have to respect the player who's just trying to finish the season. Or so I told myself.
1:35:08 > 1:35:15'Baseball may be a religion full of magic and the riddles of our time,
1:35:15 > 1:35:18'but it's also a job.'
1:35:18 > 1:35:23'Come on, meat. Give me that weak-ass shit.
1:35:23 > 1:35:28'You're not getting that cheese by me. Bring it!'
1:35:29 > 1:35:34'When Crash hit his 247th home-run, I knew the moment it happened.
1:35:34 > 1:35:37'But I'm sure nobody else did.
1:35:37 > 1:35:42'And the Sporting News didn't say anything about it.
1:35:42 > 1:35:50'"Full many a flower is born to blush unseen and waste its sweetness on the desert air".
1:35:50 > 1:35:53'Thomas Gray.
1:35:53 > 1:36:01'Anyway, my attempts at housekeeping were feeble, as usual. I get distracted!
1:36:01 > 1:36:06'I stopped worrying about Nuke. I knew nothing would stop him.
1:36:06 > 1:36:13'The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness.'
1:36:13 > 1:36:18I'm just happy to be here. I hope I can help the ball club.
1:36:18 > 1:36:23The good Lord willing, things will work out.
1:36:23 > 1:36:27Rahn, right? Beautiful name. Is that Greek?
1:36:27 > 1:36:32I dunno. It's a beautiful name, though.
1:36:32 > 1:36:37Anyway, a friend of mine said, "This is a simple game.
1:36:37 > 1:36:42"You throw the ball, you catch it, you hit it.
1:36:42 > 1:36:47"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains."
1:38:16 > 1:38:18What happened?
1:38:19 > 1:38:21I quit.
1:38:23 > 1:38:26Hit my dinger and I hung 'em up.
1:38:31 > 1:38:34I'm quitting too.
1:38:34 > 1:38:37I mean boys, not baseball.
1:38:38 > 1:38:44There might be an opening for a manager in Visalia next spring.
1:38:45 > 1:38:50Think I could make it to the show as a manager?
1:38:51 > 1:38:53You'd be great!
1:38:54 > 1:38:57You'd be great!
1:38:57 > 1:39:02I mean, because you understand about non-linear thinking.
1:39:02 > 1:39:07- Baseball SEEMS like a linear game with all those lines...- Annie.
1:39:07 > 1:39:13- But the fact is, it's a spacious kind of...- Annie.- What?
1:39:13 > 1:39:21I got a lot of time to hear your theories. And I wanna hear every one of them.
1:39:21 > 1:39:26But now I'm tired and I don't wanna think about baseball
1:39:26 > 1:39:29or quantum physics. I just...
1:39:33 > 1:39:36I just wanna be.
1:39:37 > 1:39:40I can do that too.
1:39:40 > 1:39:46'Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball.
1:39:46 > 1:39:49'"It's our game. The American game.
1:39:49 > 1:39:54'"It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us."'
1:40:01 > 1:40:07# Come on, honey-baby Take it downtown to the show
1:40:07 > 1:40:13# Turn up the heat, you see It's better that you know
1:40:15 > 1:40:20# Gotta stop cryin' Figure everything all round
1:40:22 > 1:40:27# And nobody understands what I'm talkin' 'bout
1:40:29 > 1:40:32# Good love ain't no triple play
1:40:32 > 1:40:35# Just me and you all the way. #
1:40:35 > 1:40:39Subtitles by Janice Hamilton BBC Scotland, 1992
1:40:55 > 1:41:00# Sometimes love can't explain
1:41:01 > 1:41:05# Each and every rule of the game
1:41:06 > 1:41:11# It still remains a mystery to me
1:41:11 > 1:41:14# By any other name
1:41:16 > 1:41:20# Why she can't make up her mind
1:41:21 > 1:41:25# Why he decides to stay
1:41:26 > 1:41:31# Why one surrenders and the other runs away
1:41:32 > 1:41:36# But it's too much to understand... #