On the Beat

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0:01:58 > 0:02:02OLD-FASHIONED SIREN RINGS OUT

0:02:02 > 0:02:05DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:02:16 > 0:02:17GUNFIRE

0:02:20 > 0:02:23FIRING CONTINUES

0:02:39 > 0:02:42How many of them, Inspector?

0:02:42 > 0:02:49- Four at least, Superintendent, including Trigger O'Flynn.- Right. Give me the loud-hailer.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57All right, O'Flynn, I'll give you 15 seconds to come out.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Now...you know me.

0:03:03 > 0:03:04One...

0:03:04 > 0:03:06two...

0:03:06 > 0:03:10- It's Pitkin.- ..three... - What'll we do, Trigger?

0:03:10 > 0:03:12..four...

0:03:12 > 0:03:15- I'll handle this one personally. - ..five...

0:03:15 > 0:03:17six...

0:03:17 > 0:03:18seven...

0:03:19 > 0:03:21eight...

0:03:21 > 0:03:22nine...

0:03:25 > 0:03:27..eleven...

0:03:27 > 0:03:29twelve...

0:03:30 > 0:03:32..thirteen...

0:03:32 > 0:03:34fourteen...

0:03:35 > 0:03:37You're being silly, O'Flynn.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40This is it.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43..fifteen.

0:03:43 > 0:03:48- All right, O'Flynn, I'm coming to get you.- Take a gun, sir.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50O'FLYNN RESUMES FIRING

0:03:59 > 0:04:02TRIGGER O'FLYNN!

0:04:06 > 0:04:11TRIGGER O'FLYNN! COME OUT wherever you ARE!

0:04:11 > 0:04:13I'm coming up for you.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18TRY this side, Inspector!

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Over HERE, Commissioner!

0:04:36 > 0:04:39All right, O'Flynn, the game's up.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44- Drop that. - Come any nearer, I'll kill you.

0:04:44 > 0:04:49Kill me? Ha-ha-ha-ha! I am Pitkin of the Yard!

0:04:49 > 0:04:53Not for long you're not. Start saying your prayers.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09Mr Pitkin! Wake up, Mr Pitkin!

0:05:09 > 0:05:14Wake up! What is it? Mr Pitkin, wake up! Do take care!

0:05:14 > 0:05:15BONG!

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Your morning tea, Mr Pitkin.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Oh, thank you, Mrs Timms.

0:05:25 > 0:05:29Nasty dream you had. I used to have them once.

0:05:29 > 0:05:34I suppose Pitkin will be off early to Scotland Yard to solve all this.

0:05:34 > 0:05:39No need to be sarcastic, Mr Bassett. You just sit about all day.

0:05:39 > 0:05:47- Do you know who done this Soho job? - I am not at liberty to disclose police business to strangers.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Don't let your tea get cold, dear.

0:05:51 > 0:05:58Don't worry, Dad. You'll be proud of me. I shall be head of Scotland Yard yet.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55Got the cigarettes, darling?

0:07:55 > 0:07:57In my handbag.

0:08:21 > 0:08:27- I shall have to ask you to come along with me.- What's the idea?

0:08:27 > 0:08:32Anything you say will be taken down and used in evidence against you.

0:08:32 > 0:08:37- What are you talking about?- I saw you put your hand in the lady's bag.

0:08:37 > 0:08:42- It happens to be my wife's handbag. - Pardon?- This lady is my wife.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46I'm sorry. I mean, of course, I didn't know.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49- Unlock it. Get it off.- I can't.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51- Why not?- I haven't got the key.

0:08:51 > 0:08:59- You haven't got...!- I've got to get off here.- I'm not getting off here. - You'll have to. I mustn't be late.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01Come on.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04Mind the doors.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Look at him!

0:09:12 > 0:09:16The train's going now. The train's...going!

0:09:16 > 0:09:19It's moving! Let me in!

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Look out! The wall! The wall!

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Well, Elsie, do something!

0:09:34 > 0:09:36I...

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Come on!

0:09:43 > 0:09:46Go on, Else, harder!

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Oh, hurry up, Elsie!

0:09:51 > 0:09:58- They never have! No!- Quicker!- Don't do that! That's all that's holding me!

0:10:02 > 0:10:04A file's no good.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08You want 'acksaw for that - 'acksaw.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Come on!

0:10:28 > 0:10:31A station!

0:10:43 > 0:10:44Oh!

0:10:45 > 0:10:49Oh-oh... I mustn't be late at the Yard. Oh!

0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Good morning, Sergeant.- Morning.

0:11:06 > 0:11:10- Good morning, Mr Bollington. - Good morning.

0:11:10 > 0:11:14- Pitkin...- Mmm?- I'd like you to take over the Flying Squad today.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Very well, sir.

0:11:31 > 0:11:34- Pitkin!- Yes, Mr Bollington?

0:11:34 > 0:11:40- The Flying Squad like their cars spotless.- Yes, Mr Bollington.

0:11:40 > 0:11:44- And, Pitkin... - Yes, Mr Bollington?

0:11:44 > 0:11:47The aerials must be thoroughly clean.

0:11:47 > 0:11:52Yes, Mr Bollington. ..Mr Bollington! I've got one 'ere.

0:11:52 > 0:11:58They've got to have clean aerials so they don't get any dirty messages, ain't they?!

0:11:58 > 0:12:01What about that?

0:12:01 > 0:12:03Pitkin!

0:12:03 > 0:12:05Yes, Mr Bollington?

0:12:05 > 0:12:10- We don't want any humorous quips either.- Yes, Mr Bollington.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Well, get on with it, then.

0:12:12 > 0:12:15Oh, Boll...ington!

0:12:23 > 0:12:30Do you seriously mean that you can take no action about this appalling list of crimes?

0:12:30 > 0:12:34We can't actually pin anything on our suspect.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37The jigsaw is not yet complete, sir.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40PHONE RINGS Yes?

0:12:40 > 0:12:42Yes, of course. It's for you, sir.

0:12:42 > 0:12:47Not now. I'm in conference. It's the Home Secretary, sir.

0:12:47 > 0:12:51Commissioner speaking. CALLER SPEAKS ANGRILY

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Yes, sir. ..Yes, sir.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Quite, sir.

0:12:56 > 0:13:01There are still pieces missing from the jigsaw.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03We'll do everything we can.

0:13:04 > 0:13:08The Home Secretary is getting impatient.

0:13:08 > 0:13:12We can't make an arrest until we have sufficient evidence.

0:13:12 > 0:13:17- Who is your suspect? - He's a ladies' hairdresser, sir.

0:13:17 > 0:13:23- Giulio Napolitani. We think he's using his salon as a cover. - Sounds Italian.

0:13:25 > 0:13:26Yes, sir.

0:13:26 > 0:13:33- You've got somebody watching his establishment? - Sgt Wilkins should be there now.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48Yes, madam?

0:13:48 > 0:13:51My name is Wilkins. I have an appointment.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Lucinda Wilkins? - Yes.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Come this way, madam.

0:13:59 > 0:14:05Would you mind waiting here a moment, madam? No, not at all.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27CAMERA WHIRRS

0:15:50 > 0:15:53Will you come this way, please?

0:15:53 > 0:15:58You seem busy. I do hope I shall get Signor Giulio's personal attention.

0:15:58 > 0:16:05- Don't worry, madam, Signor Giulio can deal with six heads at a time. - So I see.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12Lisa!

0:16:12 > 0:16:17What is this sort of person doing in MY salon?

0:16:17 > 0:16:19I cannot-a make HER beautiful.

0:16:19 > 0:16:25Madonna, ma cosa posso fare io?

0:16:25 > 0:16:29Ah, Lady Hitchin-Forde!

0:16:32 > 0:16:38Giulio, darling, could I have a teeny-weeny little fringe?

0:16:38 > 0:16:43Oh, what do you want a fringe for? You have-a the lovely face!

0:16:43 > 0:16:47Fringes are for the ladies with the long-a face.

0:16:47 > 0:16:53Some-a faces like this one should have-a the fringe down here.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Don't-a worry. Oberon prepare...

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Giulio, he create.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Oh-h-h...

0:17:18 > 0:17:21What I do with this?!

0:17:22 > 0:17:26You may proceed as you think fit, Giulio.

0:17:26 > 0:17:30I create a sweep here, a sweep there - bellissimo.

0:17:30 > 0:17:36- Siete la piu brutta donna che ho mai visto!- Naughty, naughty. Translation, please.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Sorry. It mean you are beautiful.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Flatterer.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Oh, you don't believe me?

0:17:45 > 0:17:48Look for yourself!

0:17:48 > 0:17:56- Well, I do see what you mean. Perhaps "beautiful" isn't quite the right word.- Perhaps not.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58But Giulio, he is a genius.

0:17:58 > 0:18:06- Oberon prepare, Giulio, he CREATE. - I have only one pair of hands, Giulio.- Shudda your mouth.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Let's get-a down to business.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Well, George, what do we find?

0:18:49 > 0:18:56- Well, number five sounds the best bet. - The Countess of Dewsbury?- Yeah.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59'What are you wearing to Rigoletto tonight?

0:18:59 > 0:19:04'Everything, my dear - tiara, pendant, diamonds, the lot.

0:19:04 > 0:19:09'Charles is taking them out of the safe deposit this afternoon.'

0:19:09 > 0:19:13This could be what we've been waiting for.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15Tell the boys - this afternoon.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19- Where is the girl?- In the office.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22Hmm. OK.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Not bad, not bad.

0:19:44 > 0:19:49- Is pretty good, huh? - Her father sent this with her.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51You read it.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Vattene!

0:19:56 > 0:20:00"Carissimo Giulio, this is my daughter, Rosanna.

0:20:00 > 0:20:05"The union of our two families will end much unnecessary bloodshed.

0:20:05 > 0:20:11"You will operate unmolested in London, leaving Sicily to my organisation."

0:20:11 > 0:20:19- It's signed "Enrico Guardia". - She's a good bargain. Better than I think. I'm very happy.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Vattene, vi dico!

0:20:24 > 0:20:29You don't like-a me? But your father, he say you must marry me.

0:20:29 > 0:20:37Marry YOU? Piuttosto mi ammazzarei! Siete un porco, un cane, una bestia feroce che certo finira in galera!

0:20:37 > 0:20:40I'd rather die!

0:20:40 > 0:20:43That can be arranged, if you want.

0:20:43 > 0:20:51No, no, no. Sono un'uomo d'onore. Giulio stick-a this bargain. It's good for business.

0:20:51 > 0:20:56Take her upstairs. Mamma, she tell her what a nice boy her Giulio is.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00Piccolo verme!

0:21:02 > 0:21:06Don't worry, Giulio. She really loves you.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10Oh, that's right. She really loves me.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27Oy!

0:21:27 > 0:21:28Sorry.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57Ah-ah-ah.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Isn't my car ready, Pitkin?

0:22:35 > 0:22:39- Won't be long, sir. - I want it for lunch.

0:22:39 > 0:22:43Wouldn't half give you indigestion, sir!

0:22:48 > 0:22:53- Try turning on the water. - Oh, of course.

0:22:54 > 0:22:56No, no, no! Come back.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Turn it on at the nozzle.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10Now, don't start larking about!

0:23:28 > 0:23:31You're asking for it, ain't you?

0:23:39 > 0:23:44- You little...- No, I'll never get your car done, Mr Ackroyd!

0:23:49 > 0:23:52- Where are you?- Here!

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Ha-ha-ha!

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Turn that thing off!

0:24:37 > 0:24:38Oh! >

0:24:41 > 0:24:44Are you gonna give in?

0:24:44 > 0:24:49You'll get yourself soaked. You'll get soaking wet.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11Good heavens, sir! What happened?

0:25:11 > 0:25:12That lunatic!

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Get out.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30Get out of here!

0:25:30 > 0:25:31GET OUT!

0:25:36 > 0:25:38You've got my leather.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42CRASH!

0:25:56 > 0:25:58You're FIRED!

0:26:00 > 0:26:02And now what have I done?

0:26:03 > 0:26:06One...two chamois leathers.

0:26:06 > 0:26:09One pail. One spoke brush.

0:26:09 > 0:26:14One cap, peaked, car park attendant for the use of.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16All correct.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18And now, Pitkin, get out.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22Pitkin!

0:26:37 > 0:26:40Mr Bollington, I'd like to ask your permission

0:26:40 > 0:26:43to have another shot at joining the police force.

0:26:43 > 0:26:44Not here you won't.

0:26:44 > 0:26:47If you'll put in a good word for me...

0:26:47 > 0:26:49Pitkin, if you were six feet tall, weighed 20 stone

0:26:49 > 0:26:51and were weightlifting champion of the world,

0:26:51 > 0:26:53I still wouldn't put in a good word for you.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55You're just not cut out to be a policeman.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58You haven't got it here and you haven't got it here.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01I'm letting my dad down. D'you see?

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Get out.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Yeah.

0:27:10 > 0:27:14You know, Mr Bollington, you haven't got it here either.

0:27:16 > 0:27:18You can rest assured, Mr Bollington,

0:27:18 > 0:27:21one of these days, I shall be a policeman.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Just like my dad was.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00I'd...like to join the police, please, sir.

0:28:05 > 0:28:06Name?

0:28:06 > 0:28:08Pitkin.

0:28:11 > 0:28:15Haven't I seen your face somewhere before?

0:28:17 > 0:28:19Oh...sorry.

0:28:19 > 0:28:22Well, you're a fine tall specimen.

0:28:22 > 0:28:26- Just wait here. I'll see if I can get you a medical check.- All right.

0:28:34 > 0:28:36You're lucky. Doctor was just going.

0:28:36 > 0:28:39This way.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58Well, close the door.

0:29:03 > 0:29:05Good gracious!

0:29:05 > 0:29:08Well, come on over here.

0:29:12 > 0:29:14Oh, lord!

0:29:14 > 0:29:18It's been a shocking old day again, hasn't it?

0:29:18 > 0:29:21Oh, yeah.

0:29:21 > 0:29:23Now, then...

0:29:23 > 0:29:26Seven foot one!

0:29:27 > 0:29:32- Hey, wait a minute, you've still got your hat on.- Oh, yeah.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37Oh, dammit. Any damage?

0:29:37 > 0:29:40No. It's all right.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43Oh...

0:29:43 > 0:29:46- Six foot eleven.- Yeah.

0:29:46 > 0:29:49Come on. Over here.

0:29:56 > 0:29:59Now, read that chart.

0:29:59 > 0:30:01- Z.- Yeah.

0:30:01 > 0:30:04- B.- Clearly.

0:30:04 > 0:30:06Yeah. R.

0:30:06 > 0:30:10- Say that again.- R...argh-gh!

0:30:10 > 0:30:13That saves time later. Go on, next line.

0:30:13 > 0:30:15D, O, H...

0:30:17 > 0:30:19Um...P, J, W...E...

0:30:19 > 0:30:22W...H...

0:30:22 > 0:30:25- DING! - N...- Hello!- Hello.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27D...W...

0:30:27 > 0:30:31- Z...T... - Never mind that for a minute.- What?

0:30:31 > 0:30:34- You've got a very good ear.- Oh.

0:30:34 > 0:30:36- Have I?- Are you fond of music?

0:30:36 > 0:30:38Course, I like music.

0:30:38 > 0:30:41Then I might be able to put you into the police choir.

0:30:41 > 0:30:44What in...? Oh-h-h!

0:30:44 > 0:30:47I'm the choirmaster.

0:30:47 > 0:30:50- You're not!- Now, don't go away.- No.

0:30:50 > 0:30:53Now then, wait a minute. There we are.

0:30:53 > 0:30:55Now see if you can read that. Go on!

0:30:55 > 0:30:57I think I can, sir.

0:30:57 > 0:30:59Q...R...Z.

0:30:59 > 0:31:02B...flat? A natural?

0:31:02 > 0:31:05L...B.

0:31:05 > 0:31:08- #- C sharp...- G

0:31:08 > 0:31:10- #- G...- B...- B...- C sharp...

0:31:10 > 0:31:14- #- C sharp...- And a D...- D...

0:31:14 > 0:31:18- #- Da-dee-da-da-di-dee-la-la...

0:31:18 > 0:31:22THEY SING "The Ash Grove" to "La"

0:31:33 > 0:31:36THEY SING LAST LINE IN HARMONY

0:31:41 > 0:31:43How do you like that tune?

0:31:43 > 0:31:45Oh, pretty, pretty, pretty!

0:31:45 > 0:31:49Yeah? Well, it's a little thing I knocked off myself.

0:31:49 > 0:31:53I thought I'd heard it somewhere before.

0:31:53 > 0:31:56Come over 'ere.

0:31:56 > 0:31:57Weight.

0:31:59 > 0:32:02Well, come on then!

0:32:03 > 0:32:05Weight?

0:32:05 > 0:32:08What is your...WEIGHT?

0:32:08 > 0:32:10Oh!

0:32:10 > 0:32:12Oh-ho-ho-ho!

0:32:12 > 0:32:15Nine stone twelve pounds dead.

0:32:15 > 0:32:18How about alive?

0:32:18 > 0:32:20- Oh, yes.- How's that?

0:32:20 > 0:32:23Come over here.

0:32:26 > 0:32:31Now, take your jacket off, roll your sleeve up and sit down there.

0:32:32 > 0:32:35Nine stone twelve...dead.

0:32:35 > 0:32:37DOCTOR LAUGHS

0:32:39 > 0:32:42Hold that under there, will you?

0:32:42 > 0:32:46There we are. We'll soon get you fixed up.

0:32:53 > 0:32:57I don't like the look of that. It'll have to come off.

0:32:57 > 0:32:58What, the arm?!

0:32:58 > 0:33:02No, no, no, this. AIR HISSES OUT

0:33:05 > 0:33:07Next thing is to test your reflexes.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10That's the next item on the agenda.

0:33:10 > 0:33:14Now, then, hold that up there like that.

0:33:15 > 0:33:18You feel that?

0:33:19 > 0:33:22- Your elbow!- Oh!

0:33:22 > 0:33:25Take it away.

0:33:26 > 0:33:29- Ow!- Gotcha. Cross your legs.

0:33:31 > 0:33:32Oh!

0:33:32 > 0:33:35- Gotcha!- Relax.

0:33:53 > 0:33:56Come here.

0:33:57 > 0:33:58Me?

0:33:58 > 0:33:59Come on.

0:34:10 > 0:34:13Got a bit of a limp, haven't you?

0:34:13 > 0:34:18I'm sorry, son, I shall have to turn down your application.

0:34:18 > 0:34:20I shall fight it!

0:34:46 > 0:34:49I didn't get away with it, Dad.

0:34:53 > 0:34:57Why couldn't I have been as big as you?

0:35:37 > 0:35:40Officer? Officer!

0:35:40 > 0:35:43Excuse me, officer.

0:35:43 > 0:35:46I'm an American tourist, but I'm lost.

0:35:46 > 0:35:51- Could you direct me to Grosvenor Square?- Um...

0:35:51 > 0:35:56Grosvenor Square? You'll have to get to the High Street.

0:35:56 > 0:35:58I'll...

0:35:58 > 0:36:00I'll take you up there meself.

0:36:00 > 0:36:04Oh, that's very kind of you, officer.

0:36:15 > 0:36:20- Have you been to many interesting places?- Oh, indeed, I have.

0:36:20 > 0:36:25There was...Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace.

0:36:25 > 0:36:28But, oh, that Bloody Tower!

0:36:29 > 0:36:32Oh, yeah, very annoying.

0:36:40 > 0:36:45- There you are, madam. Any bus will do you.- Could you call me a cab?

0:36:45 > 0:36:48Or perhaps you're not allowed to.

0:36:54 > 0:36:55HE WHISTLES

0:36:59 > 0:37:02I wasn't speeding, guv.

0:37:02 > 0:37:07Now, watch it, that's all. Just watch it.

0:37:10 > 0:37:15Grosvenor Square, please. ..Thank you, officer.

0:37:15 > 0:37:19You London policemen are just wonderful!

0:37:41 > 0:37:46Evening News and Standard, all the winners!

0:37:46 > 0:37:51Get your evening paper over 'ere! Runners and riders for tomorrow!

0:37:51 > 0:37:56Evening News and Standard, get your evening paper over 'ere! Evening...

0:38:00 > 0:38:03QUIETLY: Evening News and Standard.

0:38:06 > 0:38:08Evening News and Standard...

0:38:09 > 0:38:11JUKEBOX PLAYS

0:38:18 > 0:38:20- Yes?- Tea, please.

0:38:38 > 0:38:40Sugar, Chick.

0:38:59 > 0:39:02Hey, copper, that's my tea you got.

0:39:56 > 0:39:59YOUTHS LAUGH

0:40:25 > 0:40:27Oy!

0:40:31 > 0:40:33Come 'ere!

0:40:35 > 0:40:42You're not allowed to play football in the streets. You know that, don't you?

0:40:43 > 0:40:44But there's nowhere else to play.

0:40:46 > 0:40:51I can't help that. You're not allowed to play 'ere.

0:40:52 > 0:40:56Can't we just have one game of football, please, sir?

0:40:56 > 0:40:58Not 'ere you can't.

0:41:01 > 0:41:04But we haven't got anywhere else to play, sir.

0:41:07 > 0:41:12- Well, you'll have to find somewhere. - But there isn't nowhere, sir.

0:41:13 > 0:41:16- Isn't there?- No, sir.

0:41:20 > 0:41:23Just a couple of kicks, then.

0:41:23 > 0:41:25HURRAY-AY!

0:41:26 > 0:41:30- BOYS SHOUT - Oy, oy! Quiet!

0:41:30 > 0:41:34Break it up, boys! Break it up! You're making a noise already.

0:41:34 > 0:41:37He kicked off before we was ready.

0:41:39 > 0:41:45Sir, will you be our referee? You've got the whistle and everything.

0:41:45 > 0:41:48OTHER BOYS AGREE

0:41:48 > 0:41:51All right, but just five minutes each way.

0:41:51 > 0:41:53THEY CHEER

0:41:53 > 0:41:57- Get in your places. - BLOWS WHISTLE

0:42:28 > 0:42:30Hey!

0:43:04 > 0:43:07I repeat, this information is to all cars.

0:43:37 > 0:43:40Not too high...argh!

0:44:04 > 0:44:07Twenty-five...

0:44:07 > 0:44:10Oh, it's hundreds.

0:44:12 > 0:44:14Aren't you going to play any more?

0:44:14 > 0:44:17Ain't you got me into enough trouble already!

0:45:00 > 0:45:01Stop!

0:45:11 > 0:45:14BLOWS HIS WHISTLE Oy!

0:46:10 > 0:46:11Where did he go, sir?

0:46:11 > 0:46:13I don't know.

0:46:13 > 0:46:16- What does he look like? - Don't know.- I don't know, sir.

0:46:16 > 0:46:19What do you mean? You've seen him.

0:46:19 > 0:46:22< No, sir.

0:46:22 > 0:46:25Somebody must know what he looks like. Who gave the alarm?

0:46:25 > 0:46:28Who blew the whistle?

0:46:28 > 0:46:30- I thought you blew the whistle. - Not me.

0:46:30 > 0:46:33Well, who did? ..Was it you?

0:46:33 > 0:46:38No, sir. We were playing cards. Er...standing by in S-Division.

0:46:38 > 0:46:41- Who did? - I was on duty at Tottenham, sir.

0:48:55 > 0:48:58Oh, you mustn't pass on the stairs! It's unlucky!

0:49:04 > 0:49:06Come on!

0:49:17 > 0:49:19Spread out!

0:49:22 > 0:49:27- Are you going to be our referee again?- No, I'm NOT!

0:49:27 > 0:49:32- Don't worry, officer. We've got our own whistle.- Have you?

0:49:32 > 0:49:35No, don't blow it. Don't! Argh!

0:50:36 > 0:50:39That's my dad's.

0:51:39 > 0:51:43HE SINGS A NEAPOLITAN SONG

0:51:58 > 0:52:01Hey, boss, you want your holster?

0:52:01 > 0:52:06- No, tonight is-a for the lovings. - You like this Rosanna, huh?

0:52:06 > 0:52:11Oh, ho-ho, sure thing. She have-a the curves in the right-a places.

0:52:11 > 0:52:16- I don't think she's too sold on you. - Oh, she play hard to get.

0:52:16 > 0:52:21She change her mind when I take her in my arms, give her the big-a kiss

0:52:21 > 0:52:26and whisper in her ear, "Darling, you look SO pretty...

0:52:26 > 0:52:28"so very, very pretty."

0:52:31 > 0:52:36- Is-a the job fixed?- The old girl's jewels will be in your safe by 9am.

0:52:37 > 0:52:40Ah, Giulio, mio bambino!

0:52:40 > 0:52:43Oh-h, you are handsome tonight!

0:52:44 > 0:52:48- HIS BONES CRACK - Oh, mamma mia.

0:52:48 > 0:52:54- I smell pretty good too, huh? - Mm-hm. Like a scent factory.

0:52:54 > 0:52:59Shudda your mouth. You better spoke when you're speaken to. Get out.

0:52:59 > 0:53:06- You too, mamma mia. Here are the tickets for the Albert Hall. - For the opera?- No, for the wrestling.

0:53:06 > 0:53:09It's good fun. You like.

0:53:09 > 0:53:11Ah-h-h...!

0:53:11 > 0:53:13Mamma!

0:53:13 > 0:53:14Ciao!

0:53:21 > 0:53:25It's-a good. At last we are together.

0:53:28 > 0:53:32Mia carissima Rosanna. Quanto sei bella!

0:53:33 > 0:53:37Your eyes are as blue as the Bay of Naples.

0:53:37 > 0:53:40Lasciatemi stare!

0:53:42 > 0:53:45Your lips sono magnifiche!

0:53:45 > 0:53:47Vieni! Vieni!

0:53:48 > 0:53:51Vorrei tornare in Italia!

0:53:53 > 0:53:55HE LAUGHS

0:53:59 > 0:54:01Oh, you want play?

0:54:04 > 0:54:08Rosanna, put your arms around me and enjoy yourself.

0:54:08 > 0:54:12- HE LAUGHS - It don't hurt...

0:54:32 > 0:54:37Let that be the last time you impersonate a police officer.

0:54:37 > 0:54:40Just a minute. We take that uniform.

0:54:40 > 0:54:42No.

0:54:42 > 0:54:45That's Metropolitan Police property.

0:54:45 > 0:54:47That's my dad's.

0:54:53 > 0:54:55Go on, 'op it.

0:55:53 > 0:55:54Hey!

0:55:54 > 0:55:57No, wait! Don't do it!

0:55:57 > 0:56:00Don't do it!

0:56:02 > 0:56:05Oh, help! Anybody that can swim?

0:56:05 > 0:56:07Anyone can swim?! There's a girl...

0:57:17 > 0:57:20SHE SCREAMS

0:57:21 > 0:57:25Vi odio! Perche non mi lasciate tornare in Italia?!

0:57:25 > 0:57:32- You'll have the police here. I've only just got out. - I will never marry you. Never!

0:57:32 > 0:57:35- I haven't asked you to, have I?- Oh.

0:57:37 > 0:57:42I am sorry. I think you are somebody else.

0:57:42 > 0:57:45'Ere, you're foreign, ain't you?

0:57:45 > 0:57:49- But you're not Giulio? - Oh, no, no, I'm Norman.

0:57:49 > 0:57:52Norman Pitkin.

0:57:52 > 0:57:54I'm, um...

0:57:54 > 0:57:59- I'm a policeman.- A policeman?- Mmm. - Your uniform, where is she?

0:57:59 > 0:58:02Oh...

0:58:02 > 0:58:07You know...I haven't been, what you might say, not properly accepted.

0:58:07 > 0:58:14It's just a question of time. They don't understand. What is your name?

0:58:14 > 0:58:16Rosanna.

0:58:16 > 0:58:19Yeah. And where do you live?

0:58:19 > 0:58:22I have nowhere to live now.

0:58:22 > 0:58:27- How would you like to come round to my place for the night, then?- Eh?

0:58:27 > 0:58:31- Oh, no. I just want to get your clothes off.- Hey...

0:58:31 > 0:58:36- I mean, to get dry ones.- Oh. - Are you coming, then?

0:58:36 > 0:58:39Grazie.

0:58:39 > 0:58:43That's "thank you" in foreign, innit? That's nice.

0:58:59 > 0:59:04Morning, Mr Pitkin! I've brought you a nice cup of...

0:59:06 > 0:59:08Mr Pitkin!

0:59:11 > 0:59:13Mr Pitkin?

0:59:16 > 0:59:20You're not Mr Pitkin! No. No, I am Rosanna.

0:59:20 > 0:59:26What are you doing here? Mr Pitkin, he brought me home with him last night.

0:59:26 > 0:59:32Oh, did he?! You don't understand. Mr Pitkin saved my life.

0:59:33 > 0:59:35Did he REALLY?

0:59:35 > 0:59:38Oh, yes, he was so brave.

0:59:38 > 0:59:42He dived into the river. I was drown...drowning.

0:59:42 > 0:59:47He rescued me from drown. Just like Mr Pitkin. Where is he?

1:00:00 > 1:00:05- Sergeant Wilkins to see you, sir. - Tell her to come in.

1:00:15 > 1:00:18Well, Sergeant Wilkins?

1:00:18 > 1:00:25I proceeded to Maison Giulio where, after a preliminary examination, he styled my hair...

1:00:25 > 1:00:27Yes, yes. Go on.

1:00:27 > 1:00:35I observed there were microphones hidden under all the washbasins. I exposed a movie film of the suspect.

1:00:35 > 1:00:41I have here some still photographs enlarged from the film. Thank you.

1:00:43 > 1:00:46So this is Giulio Napolitani.

1:01:01 > 1:01:03Well, I'm damned!

1:01:04 > 1:01:08Hobson, Belcher, come in here quickly.

1:01:16 > 1:01:18Hobson, Belcher, who's that?

1:01:18 > 1:01:23- Giulio Napolitano, sir. - No, who does it remind you of?

1:01:23 > 1:01:27Who's the little fool who washes the cars?

1:01:27 > 1:01:33- Pitkin, sir. - We have to plant someone in Napolitano's place to get evidence.

1:01:33 > 1:01:36Yes, sir. Well, there's your man!

1:01:36 > 1:01:42Take away the moustache, cover the hair and who have you got? Pitkin.

1:01:44 > 1:01:47Pitkin?! Oh, but, sir, that'd be madness.

1:01:52 > 1:01:56Forgive me, gentlemen. I was carried away.

1:02:02 > 1:02:05Just for a moment, I thought...

1:02:08 > 1:02:12Sergeant, glass of water, please. Yes, sir.

1:02:12 > 1:02:16- PHONE RINGS - Yes?

1:02:16 > 1:02:18Home Secretary, sir.

1:02:23 > 1:02:25Yes, sir?

1:02:25 > 1:02:28IRATE CALLER

1:02:28 > 1:02:32Yes, sir. TIRADE CONTINUES

1:02:32 > 1:02:35We think we have a plan, sir.

1:02:38 > 1:02:40There's no other way. Get Pitkin.

1:02:51 > 1:02:59Hello, Inspector. I hear you're not going to the Yard. Got the sack? Important people get days off.

1:03:00 > 1:03:02Good afternoon.

1:03:02 > 1:03:09- I would like to talk to Mr Pitkin. - Who shall I say is enquiring? - Supt Hobson, Scotland Yard.

1:03:09 > 1:03:11Oh, yes. He's right here.

1:03:13 > 1:03:15Hello, Pitkin.

1:03:15 > 1:03:20- Hello, Super.- Ah... I should like a few words with you.

1:03:20 > 1:03:26- Do you mind? This is a private police matter. - Course not. Allow me.

1:03:26 > 1:03:28- Norman.- Thank you.

1:03:35 > 1:03:40So although, technically, you will still be a car park attendant,

1:03:40 > 1:03:45in actual fact, YOU will be doing a job of national importance.

1:03:45 > 1:03:48Yes, but I got the sack.

1:03:48 > 1:03:52That's another job! Now, what's your answer?

1:03:52 > 1:03:59- Mr Hobson, if I'm going to do a police job, I want to be in the police.- It's out of the question!

1:04:01 > 1:04:09Now, Pitkin, Sir Ronald Ackroyd has personally authorised me to offer you a raise of half-a-crown a week.

1:04:11 > 1:04:14Half-a-crown?

1:04:15 > 1:04:18Money isn't everything.

1:04:18 > 1:04:21It's either the police or nothing.

1:04:24 > 1:04:28So there it is! Hobson's choice, innit?

1:04:28 > 1:04:32Or rather, Mr Hobson's choice. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

1:04:34 > 1:04:41- You're too small!- No, I'm not.- Yes, you are.- Oh. Then I see no point in discussing the matter any further.

1:04:41 > 1:04:44Good afternoon, Superintendent.

1:04:45 > 1:04:50- Now, wait a minute, Pitkin... - Good afternoon, Superintendent.

1:04:53 > 1:04:56Madam, may I phone Scotland Yard?

1:04:56 > 1:04:58Oh, but of course.

1:04:58 > 1:05:03- The number is Whitehall 1212. - I'm aware of that, madam.

1:05:31 > 1:05:34CONVERSATION IS INAUDIBLE

1:05:54 > 1:05:56May I use your phone?

1:06:26 > 1:06:28Do come in.

1:06:28 > 1:06:31Thank you.

1:06:36 > 1:06:43Sir Ronald Ackroyd, Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police for Mr Pitkin. ..Oh-h!

1:06:45 > 1:06:49- What's all this, Pitkin?- He insists on being a member of the force, sir.

1:06:49 > 1:06:54We've explained that it's impossible. They're right, Pitkin. I'm sorry.

1:06:54 > 1:06:59In that case, I am not interested in returning to Scotland Yard,

1:06:59 > 1:07:06- not unless I'm a proper policeman like my dad was. - Yes. Splendid-looking fellow.

1:07:06 > 1:07:11- Of course.- Taller than you. - He was older than me.

1:07:11 > 1:07:16Now, I hope you're not annoyed because I sacked you yesterday.

1:07:16 > 1:07:24I was a bit because you was messing about just as much as I was, wasn't you? Truth? Truth!

1:07:24 > 1:07:26All right, Pitkin. Perhaps I was.

1:07:26 > 1:07:31Now, let's discuss this matter as friends.

1:07:31 > 1:07:34- Cup of tea?- No, thank you.

1:07:35 > 1:07:38What's your first name, old chap?

1:07:38 > 1:07:39Um...

1:07:41 > 1:07:48- Norman.- Norman, isn't it reward enough to bring a desperate criminal to justice?

1:07:48 > 1:07:51Wait a minute, Ron! Let's be fair.

1:07:51 > 1:07:58I am not going to do it, not unless I am in the police, actually...in.

1:08:01 > 1:08:06- All right, Pitkin, if you insist. - But the regulations, sir.

1:08:06 > 1:08:11We'll change them. He's the key to this operation. ..Satisfied, Norman?

1:08:11 > 1:08:15Being the key? Ron, does that satisfy me!

1:08:15 > 1:08:18Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron, Ron!

1:08:18 > 1:08:20Oh, Mr Hobson, now we're all as one.

1:08:20 > 1:08:23- Hey, what's your first name?- Cecil.

1:08:24 > 1:08:26Bert.

1:08:26 > 1:08:29Oh, Cec, this is it!

1:08:29 > 1:08:33Won't be a minute. I'm just going to pop upstairs.

1:08:36 > 1:08:40Belcher, you could have had me over then.

1:08:40 > 1:08:42You...!

1:08:42 > 1:08:49Thank heavens we haven't split up. Oh, what a team, eh? Ron, Cec, Bert and now Norm.

1:08:50 > 1:08:52The Four Just Men.

1:08:52 > 1:08:54Ah-ha-ha!

1:08:56 > 1:09:04In case you think I've taken leave of my senses, Pitkin remains in the force only until the job is done.

1:09:04 > 1:09:09Meantime, we must accept him and train him for special duties.

1:09:09 > 1:09:13When you say "we", sir, you actually mean..."we"?

1:09:13 > 1:09:15Yes.

1:09:16 > 1:09:17We.

1:09:19 > 1:09:20Rosanna!

1:09:20 > 1:09:23Come in.

1:09:23 > 1:09:30- Rosanna, it's happened! They've taken me. I'm just going to get sworn in.- You have to swear?

1:09:30 > 1:09:33Oh, no.

1:09:33 > 1:09:35You don't understand.

1:09:37 > 1:09:40I am going to be a policeman.

1:09:42 > 1:09:45Aren't you pleased?

1:09:46 > 1:09:49Si, si, Norman. Complimenti.

1:09:49 > 1:09:52- You going out, Rosanna?- Si.

1:09:52 > 1:09:57- And I not come back. - Did I do something wrong?

1:09:58 > 1:10:03No. No, no. You never do anybody wrong. Only right you do.

1:10:03 > 1:10:07But you're too good to me and I must go.

1:10:07 > 1:10:09Wait.

1:10:09 > 1:10:11There must be a reason.

1:10:11 > 1:10:14- Do you want to go?- Oh, no.

1:10:14 > 1:10:17You have to pay for me here.

1:10:17 > 1:10:23- Oh, I don't mind.- But I am not your - How you say? - responsibility.

1:10:23 > 1:10:29- It's not fair I should stay longer. - This is the first time that I've ever...

1:10:29 > 1:10:32I like being responsible for you.

1:10:32 > 1:10:39- You're so sweet. You make I should want to cry. - Then you will stay?

1:10:45 > 1:10:47Si. I stay.

1:10:52 > 1:10:57That's settled, then. You wait till you see me in my uniform!

1:11:04 > 1:11:07I just go out now.

1:11:18 > 1:11:21We go.

1:11:21 > 1:11:23Let's pick her up presto.

1:11:30 > 1:11:34D'you want me? 'Ere, I have found a SMASHING uniform! It's got...

1:11:34 > 1:11:42So kind of you to grace us with your presence, Pitkin. There's a film we want you to see. Sit down.

1:11:44 > 1:11:48Pictures! We're not going to see a picture, are we?

1:11:48 > 1:11:56This is the life! And you waited for me before you started the show! Now I know I'm one of you.

1:11:56 > 1:12:00I won't forget this. I won't forget it.

1:12:00 > 1:12:03All right, here we go, then.

1:12:04 > 1:12:07'Ello, spring's gone on this one.

1:12:07 > 1:12:10Pitkin, you're on my hand.

1:12:31 > 1:12:36Hobson, we are getting a little pressed for time.

1:12:36 > 1:12:39- Yes, I think we should start. - Lights!

1:13:00 > 1:13:05- 'Ello! Busted already? - No, Pitkin, not busted.

1:13:05 > 1:13:11- That's not it, is it? - That is it.- Wh...- And that's what you'll have to copy.- What?

1:13:11 > 1:13:17- You saw the way that man walked. Now, let's see you do that.- Me?

1:13:18 > 1:13:21You want me to...?

1:13:27 > 1:13:29- Does he mean it?- Of course.

1:13:29 > 1:13:34- That is if you really want to stay in the police.- Oh, yeah, well, I...

1:13:34 > 1:13:37I want to stay.

1:13:53 > 1:13:58- I can't stand much more of this, Hobson.- We've no alternative, sir.

1:14:00 > 1:14:02Pitkin...

1:14:02 > 1:14:07Can I see a bit more of the picture, Mr Hobson? I'm sure I can master it.

1:14:07 > 1:14:10- Eh?- Roll 'em.- Lights.

1:14:11 > 1:14:13LIGHTS!

1:14:14 > 1:14:15Lights.

1:14:24 > 1:14:26Pitkin...

1:14:26 > 1:14:27Lights.

1:14:27 > 1:14:29KNOCK AT DOOR

1:14:36 > 1:14:42You put the lights out before I was ready and I finished up...out there.

1:14:43 > 1:14:51To avoid confusion, perhaps it would be better for all concerned if only one of us gave the orders!

1:14:57 > 1:14:59Roll.

1:15:08 > 1:15:10LIGHTS!

1:15:25 > 1:15:27Lights.

1:15:28 > 1:15:31Sorry, I... AGONISED CRY

1:15:31 > 1:15:34I've had enough.

1:15:34 > 1:15:37Forget the film. Forget the lights.

1:15:37 > 1:15:44- I will.- Pitkin, try...- I'll try. - ..and get this one little thing right.- You'll get all I've got.

1:15:44 > 1:15:51Watch me carefully. I'll show you. As you put your foot forward, you let your weight rest on to it

1:15:51 > 1:15:57and hip swings out. Then change feet - tread on the other one -

1:15:57 > 1:16:00transferring the weight in exactly the same manner.

1:16:00 > 1:16:04Now, this you continue to do alternately.

1:16:04 > 1:16:08Now, having mastered the movement of our hips and our feet,

1:16:08 > 1:16:12we bring our artistic hands into play. And there we are.

1:16:18 > 1:16:20Now you do it.

1:16:20 > 1:16:25One moment. ..Constable, fetch a couple of books, please.

1:16:27 > 1:16:29Very good idea, sir.

1:16:57 > 1:16:59No, hand shoulder-high.

1:17:09 > 1:17:12Watch your feet.

1:17:13 > 1:17:17- Whey-ey! Lady Chatterley's...! - On your head.

1:17:38 > 1:17:41- No. Imagine it, Pitkin.- I will.

1:17:41 > 1:17:44- Yes.- Gotta grip meself.- Imagine.

1:17:44 > 1:17:48- On me head.- On your head. - They're there. That's it.

1:17:48 > 1:17:52That's better. Splendid. Now your hands.

1:17:52 > 1:17:55Keep them moving. Not static.

1:17:55 > 1:18:01And don't forget your hips. Lovely. Your head. ..Oh, sir, he's got it!

1:18:01 > 1:18:03Any progress?

1:18:03 > 1:18:05Oh, sir!

1:18:05 > 1:18:08He's fabulous!

1:18:09 > 1:18:15- Can I get my uniform now, sir? - By all means.- Thank you, sir.

1:18:16 > 1:18:19Congratulations, gentlemen.

1:18:38 > 1:18:40Rosanna!

1:18:41 > 1:18:42Rosanna!

1:18:44 > 1:18:49She's gone, Mr Pitkin. She went out this morning and hasn't come back.

1:18:49 > 1:18:52- Didn't she leave any message?- No.

1:18:52 > 1:18:57- You liked her, didn't you, Mr Pitkin?- Yes.

1:18:57 > 1:19:01Because she was... She was too pretty for me.

1:19:01 > 1:19:08Never mind, Mr Pitkin. With all your police work, you'll have plenty to occupy your mind.

1:19:19 > 1:19:24Two more robberies last night, sir, by the same gang. The Napolitani mob?

1:19:24 > 1:19:31Yes, sir. How's Pitkin's training going? Slowly, sir, very slowly.

1:19:31 > 1:19:37It can't be helped. We can't delay any longer. Bring Napolitani in for questioning.

1:19:38 > 1:19:41Oh, Miss Wilkins! Hello...

1:19:41 > 1:19:42Ooh! I am so sorry.

1:19:42 > 1:19:45You're welcome. Please sit down.

1:19:50 > 1:19:55- Two gentlemen from the police to see you, signor.- La polizia.

1:19:55 > 1:19:57Grazie.

1:19:57 > 1:20:00Are you Giulio Napolitani?

1:20:00 > 1:20:04Sure thing. Everyone knows Giulio Napolitani.

1:20:04 > 1:20:10- Would you mind coming with us to Scotland Yard? - What for you want me?

1:20:10 > 1:20:15- Nothing to worry about, sir. Just a routine matter.- OK.

1:20:16 > 1:20:19Vince, send for my lawyer.

1:20:23 > 1:20:27'Oberon prepare, Giulio, he create.'

1:20:27 > 1:20:29They've brought Napolitani in.

1:20:29 > 1:20:33- Going nicely, Hobson? - It's in the bag, Ron.

1:20:33 > 1:20:40- You know what to do, Pitkin? - Having gained entry to the premises of Giulio Matolopani,

1:20:40 > 1:20:48- I must ascertain what use he makes of the microphones and if he's got any stolen property.- Quite right.

1:20:48 > 1:20:52- We can't hold Napolitani for long. - Of course not.

1:20:52 > 1:20:56- You've got exactly 40 minutes. - Oh-h-h-h!

1:20:58 > 1:21:00Well, here we go, then.

1:21:02 > 1:21:05So...all right, Ron,

1:21:05 > 1:21:08don't let me down.

1:21:08 > 1:21:10Come on, Cec.

1:21:11 > 1:21:15I think it's going to work. Yes, sir.

1:21:18 > 1:21:22Oberon, do you realise...? I'm sorry, Mrs Ashley.

1:21:22 > 1:21:25Where's Giulio? I don't know, madam.

1:21:25 > 1:21:28THEY SHOUT

1:21:29 > 1:21:32Oh, Giulio, where ARE you?

1:21:34 > 1:21:39You're on your own now, Pitkin. Remember, you've exactly 30 minutes.

1:21:39 > 1:21:42All right, then.

1:21:54 > 1:21:57BABBLE OF WOMEN'S VOICES

1:22:06 > 1:22:08Giulio!

1:22:19 > 1:22:23Just a minute! Wait a minute! Uno momento! Uno momento!

1:22:23 > 1:22:27What for you make-a all this-a noise?

1:22:27 > 1:22:31- ALL TALK AT ONCE - Shut-a up! Silence-ee!

1:22:32 > 1:22:35Oh, you are so masterful!

1:22:37 > 1:22:44Well, you've all gotta take-a your-a turn. Comprenez? I've only got-a the one pair of hands.

1:22:44 > 1:22:46Who's first?

1:22:46 > 1:22:49ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

1:22:52 > 1:22:56I've been in such a tizz. Where HAVE you been?

1:22:56 > 1:22:59OBERON GASPS

1:23:02 > 1:23:05What's happened to sir's style?

1:23:18 > 1:23:21Oh, that's more like sir!

1:23:21 > 1:23:23Signor...

1:23:24 > 1:23:27Mrs Ashby - Signor Giulio, madam.

1:23:27 > 1:23:29About time, too.

1:23:30 > 1:23:33First, we wash.

1:23:33 > 1:23:35I've had it washed once.

1:23:35 > 1:23:38Your hair-a is no good.

1:23:38 > 1:23:41It's gone grey.

1:23:41 > 1:23:45So would yours have if you'd waited as long as I have.

1:23:45 > 1:23:50Oberon, give it a bit of a wash. Giulio, he create.

1:24:24 > 1:24:27Signor Giulio!

1:24:36 > 1:24:38(Pitkin!)

1:24:38 > 1:24:40- (How did you know?- It's me!)

1:24:41 > 1:24:44(Pitkin, look.)

1:24:47 > 1:24:49Sergeant Wilkins!

1:24:49 > 1:24:54- (There's a microphone under the table.)- Whaddya say?- THERE'S A...

1:24:54 > 1:24:59- (Switch on the dryer so they can't hear us.)- The what?- (The dryer!)

1:25:10 > 1:25:13- I found something!- What?

1:25:15 > 1:25:18I FOUND SOMETHING!

1:25:18 > 1:25:20There's a microphone under there.

1:25:20 > 1:25:25- (I know.)- D'you think anyone heard us talking?- Ssssh...

1:25:25 > 1:25:28# La, la, la, la-la-la... #

1:25:28 > 1:25:30Sing. # La, la, la, la-la-la #

1:25:30 > 1:25:34# Home sweet home Coming through the rye... #

1:25:34 > 1:25:36The maestro's in great form today!

1:25:36 > 1:25:39- We're being watched.- Are we?

1:25:40 > 1:25:42Do something to my hair.

1:25:42 > 1:25:45- What shall I do?- Anything.

1:25:58 > 1:26:00Pitkin!

1:26:00 > 1:26:03For heaven's sake, go away.

1:26:26 > 1:26:29My new hat! You've ruined it!

1:26:29 > 1:26:31How dare you?!

1:26:32 > 1:26:34Oh-h...

1:26:34 > 1:26:36SOBBING

1:26:43 > 1:26:46What's the matter, lady-a?

1:26:46 > 1:26:48They've made me look SO lovely.

1:26:50 > 1:26:53- But you are lovely.- Yes, I know.

1:26:53 > 1:26:56I like all my ladies to look lovely.

1:26:56 > 1:27:02But I'm rather special, aren't I? You've made me feel...so HAPPY!

1:27:04 > 1:27:06I'm happy, too.

1:27:10 > 1:27:12Oberon!

1:27:17 > 1:27:19Isn't she lovely?

1:27:21 > 1:27:23Have a closer look.

1:27:26 > 1:27:28Oberon...

1:27:28 > 1:27:31Oh, Giulio!

1:27:33 > 1:27:36Excuse me. I can't bear it.

1:27:37 > 1:27:42- Pitkin, have you discovered anything?- (Not yet.)

1:27:42 > 1:27:44HE HOWLS

1:27:44 > 1:27:50Pitkin, pull yourself together. Stay with me. I've got to talk to you.

1:27:50 > 1:27:57- All right.- No!- I've got to be doing something.- Don't cut any more hair. - Well, come over here.

1:27:57 > 1:28:01- You have to do something. - I'll give you a shampoo.- I've had...

1:28:02 > 1:28:05I didn't mean that!

1:28:05 > 1:28:07Have a shave.

1:28:14 > 1:28:16Pitkin...

1:28:16 > 1:28:21you've got to find out where those microphones lead to.

1:28:21 > 1:28:24How do I do that?

1:28:24 > 1:28:28Trace the wires. Follow them through to the end.

1:28:28 > 1:28:34Sergeant Wilkins, I shall trace those wires if it's the last thing I do.

1:28:46 > 1:28:49Giulio, put me down! Put me down!

1:29:30 > 1:29:32(Pitkin...

1:29:32 > 1:29:34(try not to create suspicion.)

1:29:37 > 1:29:44- It's an outrage! I demand-a you release-a my client. I have here the Habeas Corpus.- Keep calm.

1:29:44 > 1:29:51- Let's sit down and talk this over. - No sit down.- No sit down.- No talk. - No talk.- No stay here.- No stay here.

1:29:51 > 1:29:57- Release us.- Release us.- We will sue. - We will sue.- Shudda your mouth. - Shudda your mouth.

1:29:57 > 1:30:03- Shudda YOUR mouth! - THEY ARGUE IN ITALIAN

1:30:13 > 1:30:18- Is there anything wrong, Giulio? - Someone's standing on the wire.

1:30:23 > 1:30:28- We're having trouble with the girl. - The girl?

1:30:28 > 1:30:30- She's breaking the place up.- Oh.

1:30:30 > 1:30:34- You'd better come. - You lead-a the way-a.

1:30:47 > 1:30:51What's the matter? Aren't you coming?

1:31:05 > 1:31:07Sergeant Wilkins, it's...

1:31:25 > 1:31:27Stop!

1:31:27 > 1:31:29All'inferno!

1:31:33 > 1:31:35Rosanna!

1:31:35 > 1:31:40Believe me, I loathe! Odio! Odio! Odio!

1:31:41 > 1:31:43Get out.

1:31:43 > 1:31:45Leave her to Giulio.

1:31:49 > 1:31:50No!

1:31:50 > 1:31:52Don't!

1:31:52 > 1:31:57- It's all right, Rosanna. Look, it's me - Norman.- Norman!

1:31:57 > 1:32:02- What are you do here?- I'm looking for evidence against Giulio.

1:32:02 > 1:32:06- Where's the safe? - No, we are not safe.

1:32:06 > 1:32:10Oh-h-h, you don't understand, do you?

1:32:10 > 1:32:12The safe.

1:32:15 > 1:32:22- I've had to let Napolitani go, sir. - It's not giving Pitkin time enough. We'll have to raid the premises.

1:32:24 > 1:32:27Here you are, sir.

1:32:29 > 1:32:32Thank-a you for no-othing.

1:32:35 > 1:32:40- Norman!- Not now. I'm looking for something.- Is this it?

1:32:40 > 1:32:42I want the safe!

1:32:42 > 1:32:44Oh!

1:32:45 > 1:32:47Giulio, I...

1:32:47 > 1:32:50Giulio? You're upstairs!

1:32:50 > 1:32:53No, no. I'm-a down-a-stairs.

1:32:53 > 1:32:56Upstairs is... All right.

1:33:05 > 1:33:12- Presto, presto! Dobbiamo partire! - With this job, you have to hurry and keep calm at the same time.

1:33:12 > 1:33:15I thought it would be easy.

1:33:15 > 1:33:23I thought it would just be click, click, click and then clack, clack and all of a sudden...open sesame.

1:33:23 > 1:33:30- You have to know the combination. - I know that! How to get the combination is the thing.

1:33:33 > 1:33:36Oh, what you gonna have?

1:33:36 > 1:33:41You look like me, but not so handsome. Who are you?

1:33:41 > 1:33:44I am PC Pitkin of Scotland Yard.

1:33:44 > 1:33:50- Anything you say will be taken down and used in...- Shudda your mouth.

1:33:51 > 1:33:57I kill you. I smash-a you. I slit-a your throat from ear to ear.

1:33:57 > 1:34:04I feel it's only fair to warn you that to slit a policeman's throat is definitely illegal.

1:34:04 > 1:34:07Shall I kill him now, boss?

1:34:08 > 1:34:11Not-a yet.

1:34:11 > 1:34:17OK, the police want-a Giulio and they get Giulio. But not-a this one.

1:34:17 > 1:34:23- All right, kill him, but not here. - What about the girl? - No, leave her alone.

1:34:23 > 1:34:25I'll go.

1:34:25 > 1:34:28No, Norman.

1:34:28 > 1:34:33Giulio, you can't do this. He only do his job. Please don't kill him.

1:34:33 > 1:34:37All right, all right. ..Vince, Mancini, take him for a nice ride

1:34:37 > 1:34:41in the country in my car.

1:34:41 > 1:34:46No monkey business, otherwise Mr Pitkin, bang-bang.

1:34:46 > 1:34:47Bang.

1:35:08 > 1:35:12Giulio Napolitani, you're under arrest.

1:35:12 > 1:35:16No, Ron, you're making a mistake. I'm Norman.

1:35:16 > 1:35:18You fool!

1:35:18 > 1:35:22Napolitani must still be in the salon. Come on!

1:35:22 > 1:35:25Ron! No, Ron, please, no!

1:35:25 > 1:35:30- Cover the door. Don't let him in. - Yes, sir.

1:35:38 > 1:35:42- Nobody leave the premises. - What do you want?

1:35:42 > 1:35:47- You're under arrest.- Oh-h-h! Superintendent...- Not now, madam.

1:35:53 > 1:35:55Hobson!

1:35:55 > 1:35:58Giulio Napolitani, you're under arrest.

1:35:58 > 1:36:03Oh, Ron, how many more times? Look, it's me - Norman.

1:36:03 > 1:36:06I told you to keep out of here.

1:36:06 > 1:36:08HOBSON!

1:36:08 > 1:36:13- Get this man out...- Giulio Napolitani, you're under arrest.

1:36:13 > 1:36:16Hobson, this is Pitkin!

1:36:16 > 1:36:20Siete pazzi, voi inglesi! Non vedete che questo e Giulio?!

1:36:20 > 1:36:25Constable, look after the young lady. Questo e Giulio! Non e Norman.

1:36:27 > 1:36:29Napolitani!

1:36:33 > 1:36:35Giulio Napoli...

1:36:39 > 1:36:41Pitkin?

1:36:44 > 1:36:48Giulio Napolitani, you're under arrest.

1:36:48 > 1:36:51Pack it up, Cecil!

1:36:51 > 1:36:53Ron, you're wrong.

1:36:53 > 1:36:56Wrong again, Ron. Wrong, wrong, Ron.

1:36:56 > 1:36:58There.

1:36:58 > 1:37:01Giulio Napol...

1:37:54 > 1:37:56Ah-h...

1:38:00 > 1:38:03Just as I thought.

1:38:03 > 1:38:07Giulio, on behalf of Ron Ackroyd, Cecil Hobson,

1:38:07 > 1:38:09um...

1:38:09 > 1:38:14Bert Belcher and all the lot of us, I hereby place you under arrest.

1:38:55 > 1:39:03Now, you ARE in trouble! Damaging one of Her Majesty's police constable's hats, and it's not mine.

1:39:07 > 1:39:10Oh, Ron WILL be pleased!

1:39:10 > 1:39:15We've got the place surrounded, sir. Napolitani must be in the building.

1:39:15 > 1:39:17Where?

1:39:19 > 1:39:22Hobson, that man again!

1:39:23 > 1:39:25Pitkin, what have you got in there?

1:39:25 > 1:39:29- Washing! Eh, Ron? - Put him under arrest.

1:39:33 > 1:39:35Pitkin!

1:39:35 > 1:39:39- No, Ron, that is Giulio. I am Pitkin.- I know.

1:39:39 > 1:39:42Have him taken away.

1:39:42 > 1:39:45No, no, no, the prisoner.

1:39:48 > 1:39:50Well done, Constable Pitkin.

1:39:50 > 1:39:56- You mean I'm still in the force? - You're a credit to the force. - Oh, Ron!

1:39:56 > 1:40:03- Now you've got everything you ever wanted.- There's one little thing. - What's that?

1:40:03 > 1:40:05Um...er...some leave!

1:40:05 > 1:40:08- Leave? What for?- Er...well...

1:40:08 > 1:40:11I want to get married!

1:40:13 > 1:40:17MUSIC: Wedding March by Mendelssohn

1:40:30 > 1:40:32Hold it.

1:40:34 > 1:40:38POLICE WHISTLES SOUND

1:41:01 > 1:41:03Wait for me!

1:41:03 > 1:41:06Subtitles by BBC

1:41:06 > 1:41:09E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk