0:00:02 > 0:00:14This programme contains strong language
0:00:22 > 0:00:25FIDDLE PLAYS
0:00:30 > 0:00:31One, two.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34FIDDLE PLAYS
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Back in a few days, love, all right?
0:02:13 > 0:02:18Mind yourself, and don't get carried away in the shops. I'm not made of money.
0:02:18 > 0:02:19Course, love.
0:02:19 > 0:02:25Jimmy, you bring that trophy back and I'll get a place ready for it on top of the telly.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33And take it handy with the car!
0:02:35 > 0:02:36It's not paid for yet!
0:02:44 > 0:02:45How are you lads? All right?
0:02:51 > 0:02:54CEILIDH MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Whoa, whoa. Hold it!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Whoa, whoa. Hold it, hold it!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13What the...?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15You, Louis fucking Strongarm.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17- Who, me?- Yes, you, you pillock.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21- What the fucking hell do you think you're doing?- Playing a tune?
0:03:21 > 0:03:26You were playing jazz. In case you haven't noticed, this is a ceilidh band.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30There's no fucking jazz in ceilidh music. Play the tune.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32I was playing the tune.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35No, you weren't, you were playing AROUND the tune.
0:03:35 > 0:03:36There's a difference.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Stick to the melody.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Just adding a bit of spice.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42It doesn't need spice.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45You want spice, go down to a curry house.
0:03:45 > 0:03:51This is the last practice before we get on the ferry. So I would appreciate a bit of concentration.
0:03:51 > 0:03:56It's gonna be rough out there, and I don't just mean the Irish Sea. The competition is gonna be good.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- Sorry, Jim. - You don't understand, son.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03We're not playing games here, this is serious stuff.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05I just wanna play music, Jimmy.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07It's all I've ever wanted to do.
0:04:07 > 0:04:12And play music you shall, son. You're a brilliant musician, one of the best I've ever heard.
0:04:12 > 0:04:17But we're not playing jazz, leave that to The Beatles.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Right. From the top, maestros.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Clive, are you ready?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Go on, our Jimmy.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26I'll be there in a minute.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28For fuck's sake.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33CEILIDH MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:10 > 0:05:15CEILIDH MUSIC PLAYS
0:06:12 > 0:06:14That's grand.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Well, it's a start, anyway.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Pint, Patsy, please. - Right, John Joe.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Beautiful playing, Annie.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25John Joe?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- What now, Pat. - What am I doing wrong?
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Apart from playing the accordion? Nothing. - Must be something.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35You never remark on my playing like you do Anne's.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Her music comes from the gods.
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Yours, however, like mine, is significantly more earthbound.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43No remarks necessary.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Why do we only play Clare tunes? Why can't we mix it up a bit?
0:06:46 > 0:06:50Because we're musicians from County Clare.
0:06:51 > 0:06:56ACCORDION PLAYS
0:06:56 > 0:06:58We won't play any polkas?
0:06:58 > 0:07:03I'll put your balls in that thing and slap it shut. Let's just stick to the sets we know.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Leave Kerry tunes to the Kerrymen. Our stuff was good enough to win last year.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09It'll be good enough to win this year.
0:07:09 > 0:07:14I heard maybe there's a band coming from Liverpool to compete this year?
0:07:14 > 0:07:18Well, then again, maybe there isn't.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26For fuck's sake. You're not driving your old man's zimmer frame.
0:07:26 > 0:07:31- Drop the fucking piano.- Can't drop the fucking piano from the van without telling me.
0:07:31 > 0:07:36- Piss off, Roger. Step on it. - Be there quicker than you can say gnat's knickers.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Careful, you'll miss the turn for the ferry. There, there! Turn!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43TYRES SCREECH
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Knickers!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Make sure they don't make it on time.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- There's your money. - Consider it done.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Powers Gold Label, please.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Large.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Lads? Gents?
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Lads? A moment? Lads, lads.
0:08:26 > 0:08:31Just so you know, we are going to bring back something special from this trip.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Yeah, Terry's virginity, still intact.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38The Irish Ceilidh Band trophy.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Eh, Jimmy? Do you really think we're gonna win?
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Put it this way, Roger. If we lose, you're all walking home.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Lex? Is he serious?
0:08:55 > 0:08:59- About what?- You know, us walking home if we lose?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Didn't you bring your swimming togs?
0:09:13 > 0:09:17CAT MEOWS
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Here, puss. Puss, puss, puss?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Johnny? Johnny cat, where are you?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Where are you? Puss, puss, puss?
0:09:30 > 0:09:31Ah, there you are.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Piss on your own bed, you mouldy whore.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11How long's it been?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15More than 20 years.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16You've done well, Finch.
0:10:16 > 0:10:21Aye, that's why I left - to move meself up in the world.
0:10:21 > 0:10:2320 years!
0:10:23 > 0:10:25It's a long time.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Aye, a long time.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I'll bet nothing's changed.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Well, we'll see, won't we?
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- Fancy a drink?- No.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42No, I'll just finish this and put me head down.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44But you go ahead, enjoy yourself.
0:10:47 > 0:10:53Oh, and, er, keep an eye on the lads, make sure they don't drink too much.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56- No problem there, Jimmy. They're a good bunch.- Aye, even so.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59We need to be at our best.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01You set an example.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Know what you mean, Jimmy.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Right you are.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12The sink. In the sink.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Oh, fuckin' hell!
0:11:15 > 0:11:20- Fuckin' seasick!- Oh, yeah, everyone gets that after 20 pints, George.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29- All right?- Yeah.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43There's never any bloody soap when you need it.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Oh, Jesus Christ.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Oh...
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Rather you than me.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54Oh...
0:12:08 > 0:12:12HE SNORES
0:12:29 > 0:12:33- Morning, lads. Did you sleep well? - Oh, luxurious accommodation, Jimmy.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Here, I'll have that. Get yourself another one.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42- Oh! Morning, Rog.- Morning!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Sleep?- Like a baby.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Mm.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53- Rog?- Mm-hm?- I rescued these for you last night, mate. Remember?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55They're not mine.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57No. I got mine.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- What's the matter with him? - I know...
0:13:10 > 0:13:11CAT MEOWS
0:13:41 > 0:13:45TANNOY: 'Welcome to the Republic of Ireland. We're now at Dun Laoghaire...'
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Customs, sir. Pull over there.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50What do you mean, "pull over"?
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Morning, sir. Morning.
0:14:02 > 0:14:08- Have you anything to declare?- No, nothing. We're just visiting. - Visiting. Aye, I see, sir.
0:14:08 > 0:14:13- And, er, what's the purpose of your visit?- The all-Ireland finals.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Football or hurling?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Music!
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Pillock!- You would have musical instruments with you, then, sir?
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Well, of course we have instruments!
0:14:22 > 0:14:27- How do you think we'll play music without fucking instruments?- I'm only doing my job, sir.
0:14:27 > 0:14:32Y'see, we got a report of stolen instruments.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to unload everything. - Unload everything?!
0:14:36 > 0:14:38That's right, sir, everything.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40And if you'd bring it in there.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42That's if you don't mind.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44We're fucked now.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47SHIP HORN BLARES
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- Morning, Sean.- John Joe!
0:14:52 > 0:14:54VAN HORN BLARES
0:15:02 > 0:15:07- Tell me you bring good fortune, Sean. - Would I let you down, John Joe, huh? - The cream of rejection.
0:15:07 > 0:15:12- Would have been a long, dry weekend without it.- Who d'you know in Africa?
0:15:12 > 0:15:13- Africa?- Aye.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Nobody.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Come on, John Joe.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Time to go!
0:15:19 > 0:15:20- Better be off.- Good luck.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Aye, it's in the bag.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41I always thought he was good at getting round this official stuff.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45You don't become a millionaire building contractor by not knowing how to grease palms.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56All right.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Nearly an hour without a word from you.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02What's the matter?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04The usual.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07She treats me like some precious Ming vase.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09She only wants the best for you.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12I'll never meet anyone!
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Of course you will.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19That's them.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Do you ever get lonely, John Joe,
0:16:39 > 0:16:43- living on your own?- Lonely, me? No.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Far too busy.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Y'know, with the farm and the music.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Yeah, but all the same, did you never think of marrying when you were younger?
0:16:51 > 0:16:54When I was younger?
0:16:54 > 0:16:59- I can hardly remember what I did last night, never mind when I was younger. - Did you never fancy my mam?
0:17:01 > 0:17:04You both seem very close.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Any man would.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09She's a beautiful woman.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11She passed it on.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16You always say nice things to me.
0:17:16 > 0:17:22- Hey, Michael! We should break the journey. We've plenty of time.- Right, so.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40Nice to be home again, Jimmy?
0:17:40 > 0:17:46Well, put it this way, Johnny. I'll be happy when I'm back on the ferry with a trophy in me hand.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Ah, look on the bright side.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52It's a sunny day, we're men of the open road with nobody wanting to know what time
0:17:52 > 0:17:59we're going to be home, nobody nagging, nobody telling you you've had enough to drink, nobody...
0:17:59 > 0:18:04Nobody telling you to shut the fuck up and watch the road. Well, come on, Jimmy Shand.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07We have to be there in time for registration.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35CLOCK TICKS
0:18:35 > 0:18:41We should be going. We haven't much time to spare if we want to make the registration.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Aye, you're probably right there, Michael. Thank you, missus.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Thank you very much. It was a lovely pint.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02DUCKS QUACK
0:19:05 > 0:19:12- I'm telling you, you need a fucking hammer.- I wouldn't need a fucking hammer if you knew how to drive.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15A couple of belts with a hammer would straighten it up.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Whoa, look!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Cows! Great!
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Never seen cows before.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30This is great!
0:19:33 > 0:19:36If you've never seen 'em before, how d'you know they're cows?
0:19:36 > 0:19:40I don't understand it. They were on the bus when we parked.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44We were only in here two hours. Who'd want four wheels?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47What time is it? Oh, God, it's twenty-five to six.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50If we don't register for the competition before eight, we're out.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55You know how strict they are. You'd have to be a priest to get around the rules.
0:19:55 > 0:19:59I do, I do. Hey, missus?
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Is there anywhere around here where we can get four wheels?
0:20:03 > 0:20:09- No.- Is there a garage handy?- No.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Well, that's it. We're out.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21So, what's the story, then?
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Oh, Maisie,
0:20:23 > 0:20:24we're in deep trouble.
0:20:24 > 0:20:30We've about fifty miles to go and we need to register before eight o'clock.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32We'll never make it in time.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40I think we're, like, lost.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44We're musicians.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45- Musicians, you say?- Yeah.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Yeah, we all play the bad ron.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- The bodhran.- Yeah, the bad ron.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56And I'll bet you know all the tunes.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00We need directions for the music festival.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05And no better man to give them to you.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I'm a walking map of Ireland.
0:21:07 > 0:21:12If they'd had you two map-reading on D-day, they'd have invaded the fucking Orkneys.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15How hard can it be to find a big fucking town?
0:21:15 > 0:21:19- It's the signposts, Jimmy. - What's wrong with them?!- There aren't any!
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Oh, for fuck's sake. Come on, just drive, will you? Go. Go, go!
0:21:26 > 0:21:30TANNOY: 'Pat Flynn, please go to the County Hotel, where his mother is waiting for him?'
0:21:36 > 0:21:39OK, good luck! Thanks for the lift.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Maybe we can play some tunes together later.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44- Good luck, now.- Right.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56We've no more rooms available.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Aye. Just here to register. Cutting it fine.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09No way through here! No way through here! No, no. Stop the vehicle.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22Youse'll be playing tomorrow at two thirty.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Many people entering?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Hundreds, counting all the competitions together.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31- How many ceilidh bands are here? - Fifteen so far.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Any from, er, Liverpool?
0:22:33 > 0:22:35No.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Good luck, then.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42- Well, that about does it. - Where do I register?
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Am I too late?- No, just in time.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49What the hell are you doing here?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Sign here, please.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Is there a John Joe McMahon here?
0:22:55 > 0:22:59- I'm John Joe McMahon. - There's a call for you.
0:23:08 > 0:23:13'John Joe? Hello? Hello?'
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Hello.- 'John Joe?'
0:23:16 > 0:23:20- Who's this?- 'It's Gerry. Your brother is on his way.'
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Don't you think I don't know that?
0:23:22 > 0:23:26- I thought you were supposed to delay him at the customs.- 'Oh, I did, I did, I did!'
0:23:26 > 0:23:29But you don't understand.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Believe me, I do.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Delay me at the customs, eh?
0:23:39 > 0:23:44- And I suppose you know nothing about missing bus wheels(!)- Bus wheels?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46What are you talking about?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48What is the matter with you?
0:23:48 > 0:23:53- Did you think you could beat me fair and square?- Fair and square?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55And what were you afraid of, huh? Competition!
0:23:55 > 0:24:00Big brother, still worried that I'm better than you are.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Twenty-four years.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Twenty-four years and not a word from you.
0:24:06 > 0:24:12Well, at least I made something of meself. And look at the state of that suit, huh?
0:24:12 > 0:24:15I swear it's the same one you went to England in.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18No, it's not.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20That one wore out eight years ago.
0:24:20 > 0:24:24Oh, two suits in twenty years, huh?
0:24:24 > 0:24:26I buy twenty suits a year.
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Ah, who cares?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30That's typical!
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Drag everything down the Bog Road.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36You were jealous then and you're jealous now.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Well, you're not in the land of twenty suits now.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43You're on my turf.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45It's mine, too, remember?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Not any more.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50You gave it up to better yourself.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Well, we'll see how much better you are.
0:24:52 > 0:24:58Because if there's anywhere where twenty suits counts for nothing, it's on the bandstand.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03Do you think the judges or the dancers care about your lapels?
0:25:03 > 0:25:05No, they don't.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08It's about the music.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12And you had bad rhythm then, and I'll bet you have bad rhythm yet.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14I do not!
0:25:14 > 0:25:18If you think you can just turn up after all these years and become
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Yehudi Paganini, then you've another thing coming.
0:25:22 > 0:25:28Alberto Paganini. And you know full well this isn't just about the music.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Well, we'll see about that.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- How did you give the missus a miss? - I said I was coming...
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Here, Jimmy!
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Total success, boss.
0:25:47 > 0:25:51We robbed the wheels off the minibus. They're stuck miles away!
0:25:52 > 0:25:55You fuckin' eejits.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57You're fired!
0:25:59 > 0:26:02TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Hey! Hey! See you in the pub!
0:26:29 > 0:26:34TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:26:36 > 0:26:38So we were lucky, really.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41Got the four wheels for £20. They're as good as my own.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43We're very lucky.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45They WERE your own wheels, Michael.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49My own wheels? I don't understand.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52It was Jimmy. He'd organised it.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54How d'you know that?
0:26:54 > 0:27:00- Because he's my brother.- Jimmy?
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Jimmy's here?
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- He is. Yes, he is.- Oh.
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Ah, Maisie...
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Maisie?
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Maisie!
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Why didn't you tell me Jimmy was here?
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I didn't really know myself until yesterday.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36I'm going to go home, John Joe.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40But you can't! We need you! The band needs you.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43I don't want to see him.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48Where am I going to get another piano player at this stage?
0:27:48 > 0:27:53- Anne can play. She's far better than I am, anyway. - Then we'll be short of fiddles.
0:27:53 > 0:27:54Play louder.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Leaving won't change anything.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Well, your sister's got the kit now.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14She's always got the kit, though.
0:28:16 > 0:28:21- But promise me you won't bring up the old business.- All right. I promise.
0:28:21 > 0:28:25Gene Crooper. What a drummer. Oh, the stories I could tell.
0:28:25 > 0:28:27Did you know he played Carnegie Hall?
0:28:27 > 0:28:29It was back in 1940-something.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33What's the matter with you?
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Ah!
0:28:38 > 0:28:41And there I was, thinking football was your only love.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49Come on, Casanova, let's go and show her your flute. Come on.
0:28:54 > 0:29:00- Excuse me, do you mind if we sit in? - No. Please.
0:29:20 > 0:29:25- So you don't mind us walking you home?- No.- Where are you staying? - My aunt's. Where are you staying?
0:29:25 > 0:29:28A tent just by the river, there. I'm Alex, by the way.
0:29:28 > 0:29:29So you said earlier.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32And the handsome chatterbox there is Terry.
0:29:32 > 0:29:35- You told me.- We're from Liverpool.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38- And there I was, thinking you were from Bombay(!)- Bombay!
0:29:39 > 0:29:44The nearest we've been to Bombay is probably the chicken vindaloo at the El Morocco.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47A little Chinese place by the docks.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50- Are you competing this weekend?- Yes.
0:29:50 > 0:29:51So are we!
0:29:51 > 0:29:55- In the ceilidh band competition? - Are you?
0:29:56 > 0:29:59Fraternising with the enemy. What will they say?
0:29:59 > 0:30:03- This is where I'm staying. - Good night.
0:30:03 > 0:30:04Good night, Teddie.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07Night.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10Come on, Romeo, we've got a tent to put up.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17- Is that you?- Yes.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22- Aunt Fernie.- Look at you!
0:30:22 > 0:30:27- A picture! - There's a cup of tea made. - I think I'll go straight to bed.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31- You're in your usual room. - Thank you. See you in the morning. - Good night!
0:30:31 > 0:30:33She looks happy.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36She is beautiful.
0:30:36 > 0:30:37Oh, you've noticed?
0:30:37 > 0:30:41A word of advice - forget it, son, because behind every Irish girl is
0:30:41 > 0:30:46a disapproving mother, who'll put your balls in a mangle if you try to get too close.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48We're only here for a couple of days, so
0:30:48 > 0:30:50go for the foreign birds.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53One look at the length of your flute and you're in!
0:30:53 > 0:30:57Always sex with you, isn't it?! You think of nothing else, don't you?
0:30:57 > 0:31:00Depends on whether Liverpool are playing home or away.
0:31:11 > 0:31:17TANNOY: 'The under-16 fiddle has been moved from the town hall to the priests' house.
0:31:17 > 0:31:24'That's the under 16s, the fiddle, has been moved from the town hall
0:31:24 > 0:31:26'to the priests' house.'
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Ted, Ted, wake up!
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Teddy. Wake up.
0:31:54 > 0:31:58There's a bird swimming naked in the sea. She's in the sea naked!
0:32:13 > 0:32:14Hi.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Very fucking funny.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34Fine birds. I'm telling you, Ted.
0:32:34 > 0:32:36Fine birds.
0:32:45 > 0:32:49- Morning, Jim.- Oh, all right?
0:32:50 > 0:32:52You look a bit delicate.
0:32:52 > 0:32:54Bad pint.
0:32:54 > 0:32:56I never touch the stuff myself.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59Top shelf only. Powell's Gold Label.
0:32:59 > 0:33:04The Manchester United of whiskies. Get some breakfast in you, you'll feel better.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07Just in time. What can I get you?
0:33:09 > 0:33:10Just a pint of Guinness.
0:33:13 > 0:33:15It's not good to eat on an empty stomach.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24TANNOY: 'A child has been found.'
0:33:25 > 0:33:29'A little girl called Eva. Grey skirt and a white blouse...'
0:33:41 > 0:33:42Good morning, Teddy.
0:33:42 > 0:33:46Whoa. Oh, good... Whoa, whoa! Ahhhh!
0:33:59 > 0:34:03BOY PLAYS FIDDLE OUT OF TUNE
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Thank you.
0:34:14 > 0:34:19- You did your best. Winning isn't everything.- They'll be no fecking ice-cream for you!
0:34:51 > 0:34:53TRADITIONAL MUSIC
0:35:19 > 0:35:21I enjoyed playing with you.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24I mean, you know, last night, the music...
0:35:24 > 0:35:26I enjoyed playing with you, too.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30I started on the piano accordion.
0:35:30 > 0:35:32But then we all make mistakes.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34It's what my dad used to play.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37Never knew my father.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40- Did he walk out? - What makes you say that?
0:35:40 > 0:35:46Well, just because my dad walks out so often that the whole carpet needs replacing twice a month!
0:35:46 > 0:35:52No, my mother never talks about it. It doesn't really matter to me. He'd be like a complete stranger anyway.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56What's it like in Liverpool?
0:35:58 > 0:35:59Same as any dump.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01We've got all the usual things.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04The Beatles, riots...
0:36:04 > 0:36:06What's it like where you're from?
0:36:06 > 0:36:11- It's nice. It's quiet. - You could never accuse Liverpool of being quiet.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13You should visit some day.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16- I could show you the sights. - Are there any?
0:36:16 > 0:36:18Not that I know of.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21- Maybe I will.- It's a date then.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24Oh, my God, what time is it?!
0:36:24 > 0:36:26- It's nearly two. - We're playing at 2.30pm.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28- Can I see you later?- If you like.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30Yeah, I do.
0:36:42 > 0:36:43Hello, mate.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46- Did you score?- It's not like that.
0:36:46 > 0:36:47Oh, no, not love.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49What about you? Did you score?
0:36:49 > 0:36:55- Like Pele, mate.- Kevin Keegan.- That hippy girl thinks that I'm the best thing since Sergeant Pepper.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00- Who's Kevin Keegan? - Liverpool signing from Scunthorpe!
0:37:00 > 0:37:02Scunthorpe? They must be fucking mad.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06- Nothing's come out of their that's any good. What's he like?- Keegan?
0:37:06 > 0:37:09- No idea. Probably useless.- What did they give for him? - Deck chairs.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Where the hell is she?
0:37:24 > 0:37:28She'll be here. And stop pacing like that, you'll give yourself a heart attack.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38CEILIDH MUSIC
0:37:57 > 0:38:03- Thank God. Where have you been? - What does it matter? She's here now. I'll talk to you later.
0:38:12 > 0:38:13Ready?
0:38:15 > 0:38:16One, two...
0:38:16 > 0:38:19CEILIDH MUSIC
0:39:52 > 0:39:55So? What's the story, Jimmy?
0:39:55 > 0:40:00Oh, they're good. But we can beat them.
0:40:00 > 0:40:02CHEERING
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Good luck, now.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13Good luck, now! And, remember, winning isn't everything.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Fuck off!
0:40:15 > 0:40:18Cheeky fucker.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22Pint of red wine!
0:40:22 > 0:40:26- Yeah, that's me. - What are you all having?- I'll have a vodka and lemonade. You?
0:40:26 > 0:40:28- Pint, please.- Two.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45- What are you doing? - I've taken care of it.
0:40:50 > 0:40:54Listen, lads, I want you to keep it tight and steady, right?
0:40:54 > 0:40:57And you, none of that fucking jazz, do you hear me?
0:40:57 > 0:41:00I'll play it straight, Jimmy, don't worry.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06What the...
0:41:07 > 0:41:10Where the hell did you get that?
0:41:10 > 0:41:12I pinched it back at the Customs.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15My contingency plan.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18Are you mad?
0:41:18 > 0:41:23What were you thinking? Who do you think he's going to blame?!
0:41:25 > 0:41:27HE PLUCKS FIDDLE STRING
0:41:27 > 0:41:30He'll kill me.
0:41:30 > 0:41:31I'm going to fucking kill him.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36Right, lads, we're ready for you.
0:41:36 > 0:41:41- Come on, OK?- Right then, boys, this is what we've waited for.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58Here! Lend me your fiddle, will you?!
0:41:58 > 0:41:59Fuck off!
0:42:13 > 0:42:15New fiddle, Jim?
0:42:15 > 0:42:16It's a spare.
0:42:20 > 0:42:22- Clive, are you ready?- Yeah.
0:42:27 > 0:42:28One, two...
0:42:29 > 0:42:32CEILIDH MUSIC
0:42:57 > 0:42:58OUT OF TUNE NOTE PLAYS
0:43:13 > 0:43:14What are you doing?
0:43:26 > 0:43:31You don't take a man's fiddle from its case like that. What were you thinking?
0:43:31 > 0:43:35- I was only trying to help the cause. - I'll tell you what you can do to help the cause.
0:43:35 > 0:43:40- You can leave town now, before you do any more damage.- So you feel that way about it?
0:43:40 > 0:43:41Sorry.
0:43:41 > 0:43:48- I'll say no more about it.- Oh.
0:43:48 > 0:43:49I have something to tell you.
0:43:52 > 0:43:53I want a word with you.
0:43:53 > 0:43:57And before you say anything, it wasn't me, it was him.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59- What?- Acting for you?!
0:43:59 > 0:44:03Oh, no, I was acting for myself.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05I've already had this out with him.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08- Apologise.- John Joe, I'm very sorry.
0:44:08 > 0:44:13- Not to me, you eejit, him!- All right.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15I apologise.
0:44:20 > 0:44:25- That's low. Even for you. Taking a man's fiddle.- Look, Junior, I've already told you...
0:44:25 > 0:44:28Don't call me that! It's Jimmy.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30You're junior to me.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32And you always will be.
0:44:32 > 0:44:34Besides, it was my fiddle anyway.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36You lost it in a bet, remember?
0:44:36 > 0:44:38Oh, is it a bet you call it?!
0:44:38 > 0:44:41It's not my fault if you're too blind to see the obvious!
0:44:41 > 0:44:46The obvious? And what's that? Going behind your own brother's back?
0:44:46 > 0:44:48You had your chance. She wasn't interested.
0:44:48 > 0:44:50You went behind my back.
0:44:50 > 0:44:52She wasn't spoken for!
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Stop it! Just stop it!
0:45:01 > 0:45:02You promised me, John Joe.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06- I'm sorry, Maisie.- You promised!
0:45:08 > 0:45:10Hello, Maisie.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19- Jimmy.- You're looking well.
0:45:27 > 0:45:29- Maisie, I...- I don't want to hear it.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Not a word out of you.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34Look at you -
0:45:34 > 0:45:38you're children. You've learned nothing, like two little boys.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51Junior!
0:45:51 > 0:45:53He must be 50 if he's a day.
0:45:54 > 0:45:59Mammy! Mam, hold on! Wait, Mammy.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03- What was all that about?- Nothing.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05It was stupid of me.
0:46:05 > 0:46:07It all happened a long time ago.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10Is this to do with my father?
0:46:10 > 0:46:12What made you say that?
0:46:12 > 0:46:17I don't know. You never talk about it, I just thought...
0:46:17 > 0:46:19Please, tell me.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22- Has John Joe been telling you things?- No!
0:46:22 > 0:46:26Mam, tell me, please.
0:46:26 > 0:46:27- It was all a long time ago.- Please.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30He promised he'd take care of me.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33He didn't keep his promise.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36- That's all.- Is he my father?
0:46:38 > 0:46:40Is he my father?
0:46:59 > 0:47:00You played great, Anne!
0:47:00 > 0:47:04Pat. Thanks, Pat. You did, too.
0:47:07 > 0:47:11Anne, is everything all right?
0:47:11 > 0:47:12I'm not sure.
0:47:14 > 0:47:16But I think I need a drink.
0:47:16 > 0:47:18Will you take me somewhere?
0:47:18 > 0:47:20Whatever you want.
0:47:28 > 0:47:31I can't believe you're still angry.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33What do you expect?
0:47:33 > 0:47:36Two brothers who up and leave me to run a farm on my own.
0:47:36 > 0:47:38- You could have left as well. - I did, remember?
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Two weeks hardly counts.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42I would've stayed longer, but for you.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44Are you never gonna forget that?
0:47:44 > 0:47:46Well, how can I?
0:47:46 > 0:47:48I'm reminded of it on a daily basis.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50I know.
0:47:52 > 0:47:53I'm sorry.
0:47:55 > 0:48:01# No nay never, no more Will I play the wild rover
0:48:01 > 0:48:04# No never, no more... #
0:48:04 > 0:48:07- Do you ever hear from Padraig? - Not a word since he left.
0:48:10 > 0:48:15He's a missionary somewhere. That's about all I know.
0:48:15 > 0:48:21Will the owner of the white van with Patsy's Porcupines written on the side please move it...
0:48:34 > 0:48:37CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
0:48:40 > 0:48:42OK.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44You've a good band.
0:48:44 > 0:48:46Huh!
0:48:46 > 0:48:48- That flute player...- Teddy?
0:48:48 > 0:48:51Teddy.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53Doesn't get any better than that.
0:48:53 > 0:48:54He's my best player.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57A fucking genius. He'd give the Beatles a run for their money.
0:49:02 > 0:49:03The girl?
0:49:04 > 0:49:06Her name's Anne.
0:49:07 > 0:49:11Anne... Anne.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15- She's good.- Best I ever heard.
0:49:18 > 0:49:20She's her mother's daughter.
0:49:22 > 0:49:25- What about me?- Well what about you?
0:49:26 > 0:49:30- Wha...- No matter what nature might say about it, you've still got bad rhythm.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33- I do not!- Still speeding up.
0:49:33 > 0:49:35- I am not!- Yes, you are.
0:49:35 > 0:49:36Jesus!
0:49:36 > 0:49:39Still picking on me after all these years.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Just stating a fact.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45You may not have noticed, but I'm not wearing short fucking trousers.
0:49:45 > 0:49:49No...but I bet you've 20 pairs at home.
0:50:00 > 0:50:01Come on.
0:50:05 > 0:50:07- Come on.- No, I'm okay, thanks.
0:50:12 > 0:50:15- I don't really... - Come on, handsome Teddy.- No.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17You're no fun any more.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20- Oh!- No!- Oh!
0:50:20 > 0:50:21SHE SCREAMS
0:50:25 > 0:50:27Anne! Anne! Anne!
0:50:30 > 0:50:32Anne! Anne!
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Help! Somebody help! Anne!
0:50:41 > 0:50:43Are you looking for me?
0:50:43 > 0:50:46Teddy? Are you looking for me?
0:50:50 > 0:50:52I thought you drowned.
0:50:52 > 0:50:56No, but I did drink a lot of water.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01My knight in dripping armour.
0:51:06 > 0:51:08Oh... Oh my God!
0:51:16 > 0:51:18Will I put the kettle on?
0:51:18 > 0:51:21- Sorry?- The kettle?
0:51:21 > 0:51:22I'm putting the kettle on.
0:51:22 > 0:51:25What about food? They'll be hungry.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27Eating's the last thing on their minds.
0:51:32 > 0:51:34What's the matter?
0:51:34 > 0:51:35Nothing.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40In the pig's eye...
0:51:42 > 0:51:43I met Jimmy.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45Ah!
0:51:46 > 0:51:47I hit him.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50Hard.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52I might never play the piano again.
0:51:52 > 0:51:56A price worth paying. He deserved it.
0:51:58 > 0:52:00Did he?
0:52:00 > 0:52:02Maybe I expected too much.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05- Expecting honesty?- We were so young.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08All the more reason not to have left you in the lurch.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15I'll make sandwiches for them.
0:52:17 > 0:52:19Here, I'll help.
0:52:20 > 0:52:24So...is there Mrs Junior?
0:52:24 > 0:52:26Don't call me that.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28It makes me feel old.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30Well, is there?
0:52:31 > 0:52:34There's...four of them.
0:52:34 > 0:52:36Four?!
0:52:40 > 0:52:41Going on five.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44- Five wives?- Yeah.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46There's no hairs growing on your knees, that's for sure.
0:52:49 > 0:52:50How about you?
0:52:50 > 0:52:52No women left.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54You cornered the market.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59Did you and Maisie never...?
0:53:00 > 0:53:01No.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04No.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09Pat, what now?
0:53:09 > 0:53:12You'll never believe that tunes I've just heard, John Joe. Incredible!
0:53:12 > 0:53:14Really? Well, that's just fine, Pat.
0:53:14 > 0:53:16You can teach them to us back home.
0:53:24 > 0:53:30# No nay never, No nay never no more
0:53:30 > 0:53:33# I will play... #
0:53:37 > 0:53:40What? God, what happened?
0:53:40 > 0:53:43- She had a little too much to drink and fell in the river.- She did what?
0:53:43 > 0:53:46I'm fine, I just need to change.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48- Oh my God, what...? - What were you doing?
0:53:48 > 0:53:51Just walking, she tripped and fell.
0:53:51 > 0:53:55- Don't make such a fuss. - You, go upstairs, now!
0:53:55 > 0:53:58And you, go back to Liverpool with you. You're nothing but trouble.
0:53:58 > 0:54:01- I haven't done anything wrong. - It's not Teddy's fault.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04If he hasn't done anything wrong, why are you in that state?
0:54:05 > 0:54:07NOW!
0:54:15 > 0:54:17Stop treating me like I'm a child.
0:54:17 > 0:54:20What do you expect when you behave like this?
0:54:20 > 0:54:23Behave like what? The minute I meet anyone you step in and stop it.
0:54:23 > 0:54:26- I know his type.- What type? What the hell is his type?
0:54:26 > 0:54:30- He'll charm you into bed and you'll never hear from him again. - He's not like that.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32- They all are!- Is this because it happened to you?
0:54:32 > 0:54:35- I beg your pardon? - It is. That's the reason.
0:54:35 > 0:54:39What happened to me is of no concern of yours.
0:54:39 > 0:54:41Who was it? Was it that man?
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Tell me, Mam. Tell me.
0:54:45 > 0:54:47Tell her.
0:54:49 > 0:54:52She's a right to know why you've been so crabby all these years.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55Crabby?! I have not been crabby!
0:54:55 > 0:54:57You have. Now tell her.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01Tell her or I will.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24I was about your age...
0:55:25 > 0:55:27..and I thought I was in love.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32- I didn't know what love was. - Who is he?
0:55:32 > 0:55:35He's John Joe's brother, Jimmy.
0:55:38 > 0:55:39And he's my father?
0:55:41 > 0:55:44I was just another conquest to him.
0:55:44 > 0:55:49Oh, he promised to marry me when I told him I was pregnant.
0:55:49 > 0:55:53He was already engaged to somebody else. A nightclub singer.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56So I came home after you were born
0:55:56 > 0:56:00and people chose to believe I was a widow
0:56:00 > 0:56:05and I tried to make the best life I could for you...for us.
0:56:05 > 0:56:11But why did you never tell me I still had a father?
0:56:12 > 0:56:15Because you didn't. He might as well have been dead for all I knew.
0:56:16 > 0:56:21Because of your mistake, you don't want me seeing Teddy?
0:56:21 > 0:56:24I just don't want you to ruin your life the way I did.
0:56:24 > 0:56:27But it's my life!
0:56:27 > 0:56:30- My life!- Anne, please.
0:56:30 > 0:56:32I'm so sorry I've ruined yours.
0:56:42 > 0:56:44Is that one of your better ideas?
0:56:44 > 0:56:47On the contrary.
0:56:47 > 0:56:50The last person in the world to hear about your scarlet past
0:56:50 > 0:56:53is the one person you should have told from the beginning.
0:56:54 > 0:56:58CHATTER AND HAPPY LAUGHTER IN BACKGROUND
0:57:04 > 0:57:07Oh! GROANING
0:57:08 > 0:57:11- MAN GROANS:- Ah! Oh!
0:57:14 > 0:57:16Oh!
0:57:17 > 0:57:19Oh, yeah, just there.
0:57:22 > 0:57:24Come on, let me dance. Let me dance.
0:57:24 > 0:57:26That's it.
0:57:26 > 0:57:27WOMAN MOANS: Oh! Oh!
0:57:30 > 0:57:32You should tell her you're sorry.
0:57:32 > 0:57:34Don't you think I haven't wanted to?
0:57:34 > 0:57:38And you should tell her about the five wives here.
0:57:38 > 0:57:41I might be stupid but I'm not suicidal.
0:57:41 > 0:57:44Make her see how lucky she was.
0:57:44 > 0:57:47Having a child out of wedlock's one thing.
0:57:47 > 0:57:50But getting divorced, Jesus!
0:57:50 > 0:57:53The parish priest would have her excommuniated.
0:57:53 > 0:57:55Excommuni-cated!
0:57:57 > 0:57:59Well, he'd certainly take a dim view.
0:58:02 > 0:58:04Guinness.
0:58:06 > 0:58:09- Bring up the cases for me, will you?- >
0:58:13 > 0:58:17On second thoughts, maybe you should leave the wives out of it.
0:58:19 > 0:58:22Impressed by the suits, were they, the five of them?
0:58:25 > 0:58:26Jimmy.
0:58:29 > 0:58:31Maisie.
0:58:31 > 0:58:33I want to apologise for hitting you.
0:58:33 > 0:58:35I-I want to apologise, too...
0:58:35 > 0:58:38- Please, let me finish.- Sorry.
0:58:38 > 0:58:42What happened is past, but I'm worried about Anne.
0:58:42 > 0:58:43I've told her everything.
0:58:43 > 0:58:45Maisie, I...
0:58:45 > 0:58:48I don't want her having anything to do with that young man.
0:58:50 > 0:58:53I don't want her making the same mistakes I did.
0:58:53 > 0:58:55Teddy's a good lad.
0:58:55 > 0:58:57I've known him for years.
0:58:57 > 0:58:59She's a grown girl, Maisie.
0:58:59 > 0:59:02- She can make her own decisions. - Keep out of this, John Joe.
0:59:06 > 0:59:08You owe me that much.
0:59:08 > 0:59:11As her father, you owe me that. If she comes to you,
0:59:11 > 0:59:14I want you to put her straight.
0:59:15 > 0:59:17She won't listen to me now.
0:59:19 > 0:59:21If that's what you want.
0:59:22 > 0:59:27It is. That's all I came to say.
0:59:29 > 0:59:30Go on.
0:59:33 > 0:59:34Maisie...
0:59:38 > 0:59:41..I'm sorry.
0:59:55 > 0:59:59- Hey, Candy?- Hey.- There you are.
1:00:01 > 1:00:04- Where you been?- Hello, ladies.
1:00:04 > 1:00:06What the fuck happened to your shirt?
1:00:06 > 1:00:08I think someone puked all over it.
1:00:08 > 1:00:09Oh, phew...
1:00:18 > 1:00:21< Testing, testing, test...
1:00:21 > 1:00:25The town of Naas is a terrible place,
1:00:25 > 1:00:27Kilcock is just as bad.
1:00:27 > 1:00:29But of all the towns I was ever in...
1:00:29 > 1:00:33Fuck me, Kinnegad.
1:00:37 > 1:00:39Peter Piper...
1:00:39 > 1:00:40pecked a pick...
1:00:40 > 1:00:44Peter Piper pipped a... No, that's not right, no.
1:00:44 > 1:00:46Pickle Peter...
1:00:46 > 1:00:48Oh, fuck. How was that?
1:00:48 > 1:00:50Never heard better.
1:01:01 > 1:01:03Anne...?
1:01:05 > 1:01:08Don't forget.
1:01:08 > 1:01:11Winner plays at the ceilidh tonight.
1:01:31 > 1:01:34What the fuck have you been doing?
1:01:34 > 1:01:36You can't go up on stage looking like that.
1:01:36 > 1:01:39I don't know what happened, Jim.
1:01:39 > 1:01:42Here. I've a spare shirt up in my room, man.
1:01:42 > 1:01:45You fucking eejit, you!
1:01:45 > 1:01:47Sort yourself out, mate.
1:01:53 > 1:01:55- Hello.- Hello.
1:01:57 > 1:01:59I put your fiddle away.
1:01:59 > 1:02:02I was going to bring it round to the house but I had second thoughts.
1:02:02 > 1:02:04I'm too young to die yet.
1:02:04 > 1:02:07Thanks.
1:02:07 > 1:02:09Your mum's mad at me.
1:02:09 > 1:02:13It's not you. She's mad at everyone.
1:02:13 > 1:02:16It's nice to know you're not alone in the world.
1:02:17 > 1:02:19I'm sorry...
1:02:19 > 1:02:21for what happened.
1:02:24 > 1:02:27You've got a clean shirt.
1:02:27 > 1:02:29Actually, it's Alex's.
1:02:30 > 1:02:34They were in the tent but I couldn't get in. I lost the keys.
1:02:34 > 1:02:37Are you stuck to those fucking stools or...?
1:02:37 > 1:02:40Are you stuck to the stools or what? Time to get to the hall, come on.
1:02:40 > 1:02:42Can I come with you?
1:02:45 > 1:02:47Yeah. Yeah, course.
1:02:47 > 1:02:51PA SYSTEM: 'Extra car-parking space can be found
1:02:51 > 1:02:55'at the back of Wheelies Bar on the side street.
1:02:55 > 1:02:58'Extra car-parking space can be found
1:02:58 > 1:03:03at the back of Wheelies Bar on the side street.'
1:03:03 > 1:03:06HUM OF CHATTERING VOICES
1:03:16 > 1:03:18All right?
1:03:18 > 1:03:22- Nice shirt, mate. - Yeah, Jimmy gave it to me.
1:03:22 > 1:03:24- Said I was a disgrace. - No-one gets past Jimmy.
1:03:34 > 1:03:36Better tell the others.
1:03:41 > 1:03:44So what happens now?
1:03:44 > 1:03:48Well, they announce the winner and then we go up on stage and play.
1:03:48 > 1:03:52- You do, do you?- Well, that's what happened last year.
1:03:52 > 1:03:54Shhh!
1:03:54 > 1:03:56And the year before.
1:03:56 > 1:03:59Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1:03:59 > 1:04:02You're all welcome here tonight for the ceilidh
1:04:02 > 1:04:05and to dance to the music of this year's winning ceilidh band.
1:04:05 > 1:04:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1:04:11 > 1:04:15All the prizes for the solo competitions have been awarded
1:04:15 > 1:04:19and...what competitions they've been!
1:04:19 > 1:04:23The standard has been the highest we've seen here since...
1:04:23 > 1:04:25Well, since last year.
1:04:25 > 1:04:27LAUGHTER
1:04:29 > 1:04:31And the judges found it very hard,
1:04:31 > 1:04:33in particular,
1:04:33 > 1:04:37to select the winner of the ceilidh band competition.
1:04:38 > 1:04:41But in the end...they did.
1:04:41 > 1:04:44WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE
1:04:44 > 1:04:46Oh, there's a winning ceilidh band
1:04:46 > 1:04:48ready and bursting to entertain you all.
1:04:48 > 1:04:53And, without further ado, I'd like to call on the chairman of the committee
1:04:53 > 1:04:59to announce the winner and to present the trophy.
1:04:59 > 1:05:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1:05:03 > 1:05:05There's something you should know.
1:05:05 > 1:05:06HE WHISPERS
1:05:06 > 1:05:08What? I can't hear.
1:05:08 > 1:05:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUES
1:05:12 > 1:05:14Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
1:05:14 > 1:05:19It's a great pleasure for me to be associated with this event.
1:05:19 > 1:05:21And the name McMahon has been...
1:05:21 > 1:05:25- You're not serious?- ..long associated with it. This year... - Here?
1:05:25 > 1:05:29- ..it's a McMahon that has triumphed again.- I was trying to tell you.
1:05:29 > 1:05:32I'm delighted to announce the winning band.
1:05:32 > 1:05:35They were late arrivals, but we're very glad they made it.
1:05:35 > 1:05:39So, ladies and gentlemen, would you please put your hands together
1:05:39 > 1:05:43and give a very warm welcome to, from across the water,
1:05:43 > 1:05:47Father Padjo McMahon and his South African Township
1:05:47 > 1:05:50Ceilidh Band!
1:05:50 > 1:05:53UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC
1:05:54 > 1:05:55- BOTH:- Padjo?!
1:05:58 > 1:06:00I thought you said he was some kind of missionary.
1:06:00 > 1:06:02I did.
1:06:02 > 1:06:06He could have picked another fucking mission!
1:06:07 > 1:06:09Not bad, are they, John Joe?
1:06:09 > 1:06:12Saw them earlier on. I tried to tell you.
1:06:17 > 1:06:18- Dance?- Dance.
1:06:46 > 1:06:49- Maybe we should congratulate him. - He'll find us.
1:06:49 > 1:06:52You can bet your life on that.
1:07:23 > 1:07:26Here.
1:07:26 > 1:07:27What's this?
1:07:27 > 1:07:29I want you to have it anyway.
1:07:29 > 1:07:33Take it. Me da' left it to you.
1:07:37 > 1:07:40Betting on who takes the girl home at the end of a night.
1:07:42 > 1:07:44It's not something I'm proud of.
1:07:45 > 1:07:49- D'you mean it? You really want to give me back my fiddle?- You take it.
1:07:52 > 1:07:55I don't know what to say.
1:07:57 > 1:08:00"Same again" always works for me.
1:08:02 > 1:08:04Ahem.
1:08:12 > 1:08:14You've a great band.
1:08:14 > 1:08:16And a trophy to prove it.
1:08:19 > 1:08:21Padjo!
1:08:21 > 1:08:26- It's the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen!- Padjo!
1:08:50 > 1:08:52When are you going?
1:08:52 > 1:08:54In the morning.
1:08:54 > 1:08:57Wish I was going with you.
1:08:57 > 1:09:00You could.
1:09:00 > 1:09:05Well, you know, if you wanted to, to come with us.
1:09:05 > 1:09:08You could get on the bus,
1:09:08 > 1:09:09come to Liverpool.
1:09:09 > 1:09:13I'll show you the sights.
1:09:13 > 1:09:15What are you saying?
1:09:15 > 1:09:18Teddy? What are you saying?
1:09:20 > 1:09:22I don't know.
1:09:22 > 1:09:25But I've never felt like this before.
1:10:03 > 1:10:06- Still speeding up.- I am not.
1:10:06 > 1:10:08He's right - you are.
1:10:08 > 1:10:10Will the pair of you stop picking on me!
1:11:03 > 1:11:08And next year we play straight.
1:11:08 > 1:11:11No funny business. No games.
1:11:11 > 1:11:13Aye, no funny business. Ha ha!
1:11:14 > 1:11:17Band against band.
1:11:18 > 1:11:21Will you be back next year, Padjo?
1:11:21 > 1:11:23Well, they're posting me to South America.
1:11:23 > 1:11:27- Oh, where?- Brazil. - Oh, where the nuts come from, uh?!
1:11:29 > 1:11:31Just so long as none of them play the fiddle.
1:11:31 > 1:11:34Well, if they do, I'll be bringing them back next year.
1:11:34 > 1:11:35Oh!
1:11:44 > 1:11:45Anne?
1:11:56 > 1:11:59- Where did you stay last night? - I was with Teddy.
1:12:00 > 1:12:03- I see.- I'm going with him.
1:12:03 > 1:12:05I'm going to Liverpool.
1:12:07 > 1:12:09- Anne, don't.- I love him.
1:12:09 > 1:12:12- Sure, you hardly know him more than a day.- Long enough to know.
1:12:15 > 1:12:17And what has he promised you? The world?
1:12:17 > 1:12:19Nothing. He's promised me nothing.
1:12:19 > 1:12:21What'll you do you do for money?
1:12:23 > 1:12:27- I'll get a job.- And when he leaves you for somebody else?
1:12:27 > 1:12:30- He won't.- Let him come to you.
1:12:30 > 1:12:33Don't go running after him.
1:12:33 > 1:12:35He'll only break your heart, Anne.
1:12:35 > 1:12:37If he loves you,
1:12:37 > 1:12:38let him come to you.
1:12:40 > 1:12:44Just because it happened to you doesn't mean it's going to happen to me.
1:12:44 > 1:12:48I'm going to start a life.
1:12:48 > 1:12:50I can get to know my father.
1:12:52 > 1:12:56Anne, please, listen.
1:12:56 > 1:12:57What are you going to do?
1:12:59 > 1:13:04Keep me locked up till I become a bitter old maid like you?!
1:13:04 > 1:13:05No.
1:13:27 > 1:13:29Coming home with the milk.
1:13:29 > 1:13:31I haven't done that in a while.
1:13:32 > 1:13:36I thought Miko had a bus over at Bernie's.
1:13:36 > 1:13:37I'm going to England with Teddy.
1:13:37 > 1:13:40Don't do this out of punishment.
1:13:40 > 1:13:42I don't care about her.
1:13:42 > 1:13:44I don't believe that for a second.
1:13:47 > 1:13:49Well, you'll have to find another fiddle player.
1:13:53 > 1:13:55- Bye.- Oi.
1:13:57 > 1:14:03See if you can do something about Jimmy's...your father's fiddle playing.
1:14:03 > 1:14:06He's still inclined to speed up on the changeovers.
1:14:09 > 1:14:11Is that all you ever think about?
1:14:11 > 1:14:18- Music?- Well, when you've got the music, you've got friends for life.
1:14:18 > 1:14:19That's why I'm never lonely.
1:14:22 > 1:14:24Remember that.
1:14:43 > 1:14:44Nice and tight, now.
1:14:44 > 1:14:47Right-on, yeah.
1:14:47 > 1:14:49- That's it, Jimmy.- Everyone here?
1:14:49 > 1:14:52- Yes, Jimmy.- Got to get a move on.
1:14:52 > 1:14:54Tide and ferries wait for no band.
1:14:54 > 1:14:59"A concertina has been found in the public toilets at the football pitch."
1:14:59 > 1:15:04"I reiterate, a concertina has been found in the public toilets at the football pitch."
1:15:04 > 1:15:06I'm coming with you.
1:15:10 > 1:15:14- I don't believe it. - All aboard the Liverpool Express.
1:15:14 > 1:15:15Welcome aboard, love.
1:15:19 > 1:15:20Plenty of room next to me.
1:15:27 > 1:15:28Jimmy.
1:15:38 > 1:15:40None of this is my idea.
1:15:40 > 1:15:42I know.
1:15:42 > 1:15:45It's just something I wanted to say.
1:15:45 > 1:15:49- What?- If as much as a hair on that child's head is harmed,
1:15:49 > 1:15:51I'm coming to Liverpool...
1:15:51 > 1:15:55..to cut your balls off.
1:15:57 > 1:15:58That's all.
1:16:02 > 1:16:03That's fair enough.
1:16:05 > 1:16:07In the circumstances.
1:16:28 > 1:16:30All the best.
1:16:40 > 1:16:43So, she really has gone, then.
1:16:46 > 1:16:49We're never going to see her again.
1:16:49 > 1:16:51Worse than that...
1:16:51 > 1:16:54..Jimmy's poached our best player.
1:17:01 > 1:17:03Here, not so fucking fast!
1:17:03 > 1:17:08We are catching today's ferry, Einstein, not yesterday's.
1:17:08 > 1:17:10Look, sheep.
1:17:10 > 1:17:13- Whoa, slow down.- Sheep.- Slow down.
1:17:17 > 1:17:18Jimmy...
1:17:53 > 1:17:55I'm so sorry.
1:17:55 > 1:17:57No, I'm the one who's sorry.
1:17:57 > 1:18:00I said terrible things to you.
1:18:00 > 1:18:02You'll never forgive me.
1:18:02 > 1:18:05There's nothing to forgive. Nothing.
1:18:22 > 1:18:24You all right, John Joe?
1:18:26 > 1:18:28I am now, Pat.
1:18:29 > 1:18:31I am now.
1:18:39 > 1:18:40Cheers.
1:18:47 > 1:18:50Don't worry, mate.
1:18:50 > 1:18:52Put it down to a Roman holiday.
1:18:52 > 1:18:55Rome? We weren't anywhere near Italy.
1:18:55 > 1:18:57No! Gregory Peck.
1:18:57 > 1:19:02The scene in the pictures, he goes to Rome and he falls for... What's her name?
1:19:02 > 1:19:05Anyway, turns out that she's a princess so he's fucked!
1:19:07 > 1:19:10So, what happens?
1:19:10 > 1:19:13He doesn't get his end away, you know, cos she's royalty.
1:19:13 > 1:19:14You think of nothing else, do ya?
1:19:14 > 1:19:16- What else is there?- I love her, Lex.
1:19:16 > 1:19:18Argh! You think you do.
1:19:18 > 1:19:22You think you do now but that's just your dick talking, mate.
1:19:22 > 1:19:23Trust me, I know.
1:19:23 > 1:19:29Any time I fancy a girl, the big fella down below tells me that she's the one.
1:19:29 > 1:19:31Just forget about it, Ted.
1:19:31 > 1:19:38Besides, we're playing Chelsea at home soon so that means dolly birds up from the smoke and all that.
1:19:38 > 1:19:41Yeah.
1:19:41 > 1:19:44- Yeah, maybe you're right. - Yes, I am right.
1:19:44 > 1:19:47Would I steer me best mate wrong?
1:19:47 > 1:19:49Would I?
1:20:24 > 1:20:26Right. Everybody here?
1:20:26 > 1:20:29I've never heard ya sounded better, d'ya know that?
1:20:29 > 1:20:31If only you played like that all the time!
1:20:31 > 1:20:34- John Joe.- Hi. Maggie, how you doing?
1:20:34 > 1:20:35It beats the box any day.
1:20:38 > 1:20:40- Evening, John Joe.- Evening, all.
1:20:40 > 1:20:41John Joe.
1:20:43 > 1:20:45Ah, very good.
1:20:48 > 1:20:50What the hell's Pat up to?
1:20:50 > 1:20:51He's getting ready for next year.
1:20:51 > 1:20:56He thinks we should surprise the Africans with a taste of their own medicine.
1:20:56 > 1:20:58I said it him that needs the medicine.
1:21:02 > 1:21:03Mind you,
1:21:03 > 1:21:06if we could bottle him, we'd make ourselves a fortune.
1:21:06 > 1:21:08Well, surely.
1:21:10 > 1:21:12A shame he left the fiddle.
1:21:22 > 1:21:25Ready, one, two.
1:22:06 > 1:22:07Mind if I sit in?
1:22:20 > 1:22:24It's better to gain a musician than to lose a daughter,
1:22:24 > 1:22:25I always say.
1:22:27 > 1:22:30- And what would Jimmy say?- Feck him.
1:22:30 > 1:22:32Ready, one, two.
1:22:46 > 1:22:48No funny business, huh?
1:22:52 > 1:22:55This means war!
1:22:58 > 1:22:59# As I was going over
1:22:59 > 1:23:01# The far-famed Kerry mountains
1:23:01 > 1:23:03# I met with Captain Farrell
1:23:03 > 1:23:05# Ad his money he was counting
1:23:05 > 1:23:07# I first produced me pistol
1:23:07 > 1:23:09# Then produced me rapier
1:23:09 > 1:23:11# Saying "Stand and deliver"
1:23:11 > 1:23:13# For you are the bold deceiver
1:23:13 > 1:23:17# Wish a wack fall the diddle-a, wack fall the diddle-o
1:23:17 > 1:23:19# Wack fall the diddle-o
1:23:19 > 1:23:21# There's whiskey in the jar
1:23:21 > 1:23:23# I counted out me money
1:23:23 > 1:23:25# It made a pretty penny
1:23:25 > 1:23:27# I put it in my pocket
1:23:27 > 1:23:30# And gave it to my Jenny
1:23:30 > 1:23:31# She sighed and she swore
1:23:31 > 1:23:33# She never wanted to see me
1:23:33 > 1:23:35# The devil take the women
1:23:35 > 1:23:37# For they never can be easy
1:23:37 > 1:23:41# Wish a wack fall the diddle-a, wack fall the diddle-o
1:23:41 > 1:23:43# Wack fall the diddle-o
1:23:43 > 1:23:45# There's whiskey in the jar
1:23:45 > 1:23:48# I went to my chamber
1:23:48 > 1:23:50# For to take a slumber
1:23:50 > 1:23:52I dreamt of gold and jewels
1:23:52 > 1:23:54# And for sure it was no wonder
1:23:54 > 1:23:55# But Jenny took me charges
1:23:55 > 1:23:57# And she filled them up with water
1:23:57 > 1:23:59# And sent for captain Farrell
1:23:59 > 1:24:01# To be ready for the slaughter
1:24:01 > 1:24:06# Wish a wack fall the diddle-a, wack fall the diddle-o
1:24:06 > 1:24:07# Wack fall the diddle-o
1:24:07 > 1:24:10# There's whiskey in the jar
1:24:11 > 1:24:12# 'Twas early in the morning
1:24:12 > 1:24:14# Before I rose to travel
1:24:14 > 1:24:16# The guards were all around me
1:24:16 > 1:24:18# And likewise captain Farrell
1:24:18 > 1:24:20# I then produced me pistol
1:24:20 > 1:24:22# For she stole away me rapier
1:24:22 > 1:24:24# I couldn't shoot the water
1:24:24 > 1:24:25# So a prisoner I was taken
1:24:25 > 1:24:30# Wish a wack fall the diddle-a, wack fall the diddle-o
1:24:30 > 1:24:32# Wack fall the diddle-o
1:24:32 > 1:24:34# There's whiskey in the jar
1:24:34 > 1:24:36# If anyone can aid me
1:24:36 > 1:24:38# 'Tis my brother in the army
1:24:38 > 1:24:40# I think that he is stationed
1:24:40 > 1:24:42# In Cork or in Killarney
1:24:42 > 1:24:44# And if he'd come and join me
1:24:44 > 1:24:46# We'll go rovin' in Kilkenny
1:24:46 > 1:24:48# I swear he'd treat me better
1:24:48 > 1:24:50# Than me darling sporting Jenny
1:24:50 > 1:24:54# Wish a wack fall the diddle-a, wack fall the diddle-o
1:24:54 > 1:24:56# Wack fall the diddle-o
1:24:56 > 1:24:58# There's whiskey in the jar
1:24:58 > 1:25:01# Wish a wack fall the diddle-a, wack fall the diddle-o
1:25:01 > 1:25:03# Wack fall the diddle-o
1:25:03 > 1:25:05# There's whiskey in the jar. #
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1:25:06 > 1:25:07E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk