0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains strong language
0:00:38 > 0:00:40My films...
0:00:40 > 0:00:44My films are about love.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Its beginnings. Its endings.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Its contracts. Its tricks.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53The scene from my film La Fin Du Commencement,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56or The End Of The Beginning.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59The film portrays a difficult opening.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53No?
0:02:55 > 0:02:56No.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33How can one take this relationship forward?
0:03:35 > 0:03:40Well, they do. And in doing so, I show how the most unlikely
0:03:40 > 0:03:47of beginnings can become the very glue that holds the relationship together.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Le commencement c'est tout.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52The start is everything.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Life is determined by the way it began.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Even its end can be foreseen by the way it began.
0:03:58 > 0:04:05The world was created by an explosion, and it will end by an explosion.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Love is the same.
0:04:07 > 0:04:13Love is everything. The only reason my films are the same as love.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Prat.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18The ending is in the beginning.
0:04:18 > 0:04:22To understand that is to understand the films of Thierry Grimandi.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25And to understand life.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34I like that, it's romantic.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36You are joking?
0:04:36 > 0:04:40We have to go.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- HE MIMICS:- The ending is in the beginning. To understand this is to understand life.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47The man's a dickhead. And what are all those close-ups?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50What is it about Gallic men that makes them think they're so profound,
0:04:50 > 0:04:52so knowledgeable about la vie, about l'amour?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55We have to go.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57I don't know why we're doing this.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59We're fine.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15# I want you to die with my hands round your throat
0:05:15 > 0:05:20# Or with me in the castle, you in the moat
0:05:20 > 0:05:26# And everyone you know stood around laughing
0:05:29 > 0:05:33# I want to watch you swing from a tree
0:05:33 > 0:05:38# Or fry in a chair while you're looking at me
0:05:38 > 0:05:44# And everyone in the world will be glad when you're gone
0:05:46 > 0:05:48# Oh, it's silly
0:05:49 > 0:05:52# To say we were never happy
0:05:54 > 0:06:01# All those nights we spent kissing under the moon
0:06:04 > 0:06:13# But I died inside When you ran out with my pride
0:06:14 > 0:06:19# Why did you leave me alone in the make-out room?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26# I wanna watch you drown in a lake
0:06:26 > 0:06:31# Or get stamped by a bull or bit by a snake
0:06:31 > 0:06:36# And there is not a single doctor who will come and help you... #
0:06:55 > 0:06:58My father will be spinning in his grave.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02That'll be the booze.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Oh, this is ridiculous.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08- I've been thinking...- Me too. Let's go home.- About your racism.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Do you think it might be a symptom of your British repression?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14It's not racism. It's xenophobia. It's a completely different thing.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18- Oh!- Yeah, racism is born out of ignorance, xenophobia out of knowledge.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21And what knowledge do you have?
0:07:21 > 0:07:24If they'd spent more time grafting and less time obsessing about relationships,
0:07:24 > 0:07:28we wouldn't have had to subsidise their economy for the past 50 years. Fucking frogs.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31So what part of France do you come from?
0:07:39 > 0:07:42I spent some time in Paris.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Do you know it?
0:07:45 > 0:07:47I do know Paris, yes.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- Of course you do.- Course he does.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53It's the capital. Everyone knows Paris. Even my father knew Paris, and he never left St Albans.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00- I went there.- Jed.
0:08:00 > 0:08:05I was writing an article about a Czech novelist who had moved there during the communist regime.
0:08:05 > 0:08:11- That's what I do. I write features and profiles about artists.- Why?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13I suppose I find it relatively interesting.
0:08:13 > 0:08:18- I'd prefer if someone was doing a piece about me, but until I write that novel...- Why here?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Why couple counselling?
0:08:23 > 0:08:28Right. Well... Darling?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32We're not sure.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Sorry, I'm not sure I understand how this is going to work.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04It seems we're just looking at each other.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Some people come to me to save their relationship.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Others to end it.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Most to end it.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17I proposed to her. We're here because I proposed to her, isn't that right?
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Two weeks ago, yeah. After ten years of going out,
0:09:20 > 0:09:22I took her to our favourite place, our favourite view...
0:09:22 > 0:09:26- Your favourite view.- Waterloo Bridge facing east, you know.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31St Paul's, the Gherkin, the view people write about. Waterloo Sunset by the Kinks.
0:09:31 > 0:09:37Waterloo by Abba. The most thought provoking skyline in London. It's our favourite...sorry, my favourite.
0:09:37 > 0:09:43- And I went down on one knee and I popped the question.- And I said no.
0:09:43 > 0:09:44Mm-hm.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Tell me about the beginning. How you met, how you fell in love.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Oh, Christ, not you as well. Is this a French thing?
0:09:53 > 0:09:59- Oh, God.- OK, the beginning. Well, I didn't mistake her for a hooker.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01So that's something(!)
0:10:01 > 0:10:04Thierry Grimandi. I'm doing a piece about him. You probably know his...
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Is there something you want to say, Cheryl?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09He's a fucking coward.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Would you like to address directly to Jed?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Yes, would you like to do that?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17You're a fucking coward!
0:10:25 > 0:10:28What's so cowardly about asking your girlfriend to marry you?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30It takes a lot of guts, as it happens.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33I spent months trying to pluck up the courage, trying to forget about my parents.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Guts? Proposing to me takes guts?
0:10:36 > 0:10:38I'm not coming back here.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40You bloody are.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44I asked you to marry me. Who gives a toss how we met?
0:10:44 > 0:10:49There is nothing wrong that can't be resolved by you just working out why you said no.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59He's a miracle worker.
0:11:03 > 0:11:08A film is like life, is like love, like marriage.
0:11:08 > 0:11:13You should always see the ending
0:11:13 > 0:11:18within the first 15 minutes of the beginning.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Relax. You just had another row.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24You want me to be short?
0:11:24 > 0:11:28- Look who it is.- Hey, Jed. - How are you?
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- I'm well, thanks. - Good. God, it's been ages.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Ooh!
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Oh, I'm so sorry.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42- Oh, it smells great.- Thanks, Chanel number 41.- Actually, I meant the... - It's Nigel Slater.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- For a chef, he makes pretty good perfume.- Doesn't he just?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Completely wasted on Marcus, of course. Bloody Luddite.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Food or perfume? - Both.- I'm not a Luddite. I'm a man.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55- I'm a man who likes his food simple and substantial.- How ironic.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57The same way I feel about my men.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05You can't have thrown this together.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Don't be ridiculous.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12This food is amazing, Sophie. You really put me to shame.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16- Yeah, doesn't she?- Oh, come on, it's only food. It all ends up in the same place.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18You are so annoying.
0:12:19 > 0:12:24Well, honestly. I mean, no, you're a great cook, but food has gotten out of hand.
0:12:24 > 0:12:29Do you know that kids can now name more celebrity chefs than they can members of the Cabinet?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Yeah, so can I.- Don't be a twat.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34- I'm serious.- He is.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38I'm glad chefs are more influential than politicians. They're higher up the evolutionary scale.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, I agree. Cheers.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42- Cheers.- I'll go along with that.
0:12:42 > 0:12:47- Ah, great. So where are feature writers in this evolutionary scale? - Above advertising executives.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Oh, mate. Compared to you, we're exploring space.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I think you'll find you're somewhere between lawyers and molluscs.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Mind you, buddy, it's worth the wait. These thumbs are amazing.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01You see, you can all laugh, but we have more influence than any of you.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03What about magazine editors?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Come on, you're worse than all of us.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Look, we explore the human condition.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11Through the magic of fashion(!)
0:13:11 > 0:13:13And agony aunts.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Besides, we give you work.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18If it wasn't for us, you'd just be failed novelists.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Ooh.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Marcus, how did you two meet?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Is this another feature you're doing?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28- Yeah, kind of.- Jed.
0:13:28 > 0:13:33No, it's interesting, the how-we-met story. You were interested in it earlier, weren't you?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- Soph?- You go ahead.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- Sophie saved my life.- What?
0:13:40 > 0:13:47I don't want to get into too many details, but a number of things had...
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Things had got quite dark.
0:13:48 > 0:13:53A sudden something of an existential crisis, I guess,
0:13:53 > 0:13:57because it made sense to kill myself.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00It just seemed so simple.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02It was a kind...
0:14:02 > 0:14:05of elation.
0:14:05 > 0:14:06'I was a mess.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12'I was about to jump off a bridge
0:14:12 > 0:14:20'when I heard this voice, shouting and screaming.'
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Hey, you! Stop!
0:14:22 > 0:14:27Please, please, don't jump. Please. Stay there, please!
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Go away and leave me alone.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Stay where you are. - I'm not gonna move, I'm just... - Stay where you are.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Why can't you just...just walk away?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Go on.- I'm Sophie.
0:14:43 > 0:14:47- What's your name?- My name's Marcus.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51All right. Please, Marcus.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53What?
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Don't jump.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Why not? What's it matter?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00It matters to me.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05'And there she was. This girl.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07'This woman.
0:15:07 > 0:15:12'And she talked, and talked, and talked.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13'And...
0:15:15 > 0:15:19'And I couldn't do it. Not with her there.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22'She stopped...saved me.'
0:15:26 > 0:15:30I got down eventually and we talked.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32All night.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45And we took it from there.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Christ.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51That's...incredible.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Isn't it? Maybe I'd have just walked on if he haven't been so...
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Desperate.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58- Cute.- Yeah. - THEY LAUGH
0:16:02 > 0:16:05And that's propelled us two years so far.
0:16:05 > 0:16:09- Propelled? - He believes in beginnings.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- What?- What?
0:16:11 > 0:16:15You sound like Thierry Grimandi. I may have to rethink our friendship.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- Grimandi? Do you know his work? - I wouldn't call it work. The man's a lunatic.
0:16:18 > 0:16:23Cracking on about how beginnings determine everything. Especially in love.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24- I know.- You know?- Yeah.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28The man's a genius. You know, I used to watch his films in the '80s.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31There's nobody writes about love the way he does.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34- Nobody writes about love the way he does. You think that?- Yeah.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38You think that? The man who can drink two pints in under a minute, vomit and do it again?
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Are the two mutually exclusive?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- I've never heard you mention him. - Well, I mean, it's a long time ago now.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47- I've never even heard of this bloke. - You're not missing anything.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50- He's romantic.- He's a prick.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- He's sexy.- He's got a beard.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- He's got balls. - What's that supposed to mean?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Have you seen his films? - I'm watching his master class.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03- Retrospective coming up. They want me to interview him.- Really?
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Oh, we should go, if he's a genius.
0:17:05 > 0:17:11Yeah, you should. Especially if you like meaningless close-ups, cock about falling in love with hookers
0:17:11 > 0:17:17who specialise in root canals and happy endings, and any amount of self-righteous horseshit. Thank you.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20I don't think he's really your kind of thing, Soph.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23I won't worry my pretty little head about it, then.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- No, honey, I just mean he's bit dated.- He's romantic.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29What's wrong with romantic? He might be a bit earnest.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- Earnest? The man makes Camus look like Benny Hill.- Well, I like him.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34He believes in something.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36I'm going to go and make some coffee.
0:17:38 > 0:17:44Love is the only significant event in a life of a human being.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47He must achieve it at all costs.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50'The ones who do not cannot say that they have lived.'
0:17:50 > 0:17:52HE FARTS
0:17:52 > 0:17:58'We must do anything to find it. That is my obsession.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59'It should be yours.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04'We must find love...
0:18:08 > 0:18:13'But if it is not there in the beginning, it is not there.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17'It must have a beginning.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24'It is a beginning that is played out again and again and again,
0:18:24 > 0:18:25'so make it good.'
0:18:39 > 0:18:41For God's sake, Cheryl, all I did was propose.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34She's not a hooker.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Aw.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Six months later,
0:20:10 > 0:20:12they were married.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I must say that came as a bit of a shock, you liking someone French.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Well, as I said, I was young.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24I mean, if I saw one of his films now, I'd probably think he was a fool.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25You said he was a genius.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29Yeah, I thought he was...then. You have to watch all his films?
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Well, I guess if I'm going to interview him I ought to, but I'm not sure I can be arsed.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35I don't blame you. I wouldn't bother.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37It's kids' stuff.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41I don't think Cheryl and I really had our big opening.
0:20:41 > 0:20:45- Sorry?- Not like you and Sophie.- Oh, that was just one of those things.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48But, you do love Sophie?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Jed, are you all right?- Do you?
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- Yeah, of course. - In the way Grimandi talks about it.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Do you feel sick if you can't be with her?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Do you hate any other man she takes a second look at?
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Do you see her in extreme close-up?
0:20:59 > 0:21:04As I said, I really wouldn't bother that much about what Grimandi thinks.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06No. I know, I know. He gets inside your head. He's like Europop.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- But, do you?- Jesus, man! Who knows?
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Do you think you've ever been in love?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Once. Definitely once.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19When I was a kid.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24About the same time that I wanted to be in a band.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- What about you?- Of course.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33- I proposed to Cheryl. - Jesus Christ. That's fantastic.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36- Mmh. She said no. - That's even better.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40- What? - I'm sorry. That's...
0:21:40 > 0:21:42That's awful. Why?
0:21:42 > 0:21:47Well, to be frank, mate, I think that...
0:21:49 > 0:21:52I think maybe...
0:21:52 > 0:21:53I mean, if I'm honest...
0:21:53 > 0:21:57- Shall we just drink beer?- Yeah.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58So, you proposed?
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Yes.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Why?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Because I want to marry her.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- Who?- Oh, for God's sake.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- I want to marry you.- Why?
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Look, I think the question is, why did she say no?
0:22:12 > 0:22:16- Who?- Oh, for fuck's sake. You. Why did you say no?
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Because that's what you wanted me to say.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Is it true, Jed?
0:22:24 > 0:22:27- Is what true? - The reason she said no.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Who said no? Gotcha.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Oh, for God's sake. Did you want me to say no?
0:22:31 > 0:22:33- That would be absurd.- It'd be you.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38Have you ever considered children?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41- No.- Mm.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Interesting. And this next question is a very difficult one.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49- If it's algebra, forget it. - Very good(!)
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Have you ever been in love?
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- Of course.- Of course.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57- How does it feel?- Wonderful.- Yeah.
0:22:57 > 0:23:03Now, I'll ask you another question. Have you ever been in love with each other?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- I don't know.- Of course.
0:23:05 > 0:23:10That is very good.
0:23:10 > 0:23:11Now, why don't you tell me how you met?
0:23:14 > 0:23:18There is nothing wrong with our "how we met" story.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Brighton Beach, me pissed on cider.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Diamond White.- Yeah. You tripping your tits off on acid.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28- Wouldn't have had it any other way. - Wouldn't have got it any other way.
0:23:28 > 0:23:31It's just... Do you think we ever truly fell in love?
0:23:31 > 0:23:36I mean, did either of us have that feeling in the stomach? That indecipherable ache?
0:23:36 > 0:23:38- Ooh.- I'm serious, Jed.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41We work, Cheryl.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44- We what?- Work.
0:23:44 > 0:23:4710 years we've had this.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50I think we got together because we're a bit alike.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52What? Is that so bad?
0:23:52 > 0:23:53I don't know.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Oh, can we just maybe not think about this any more?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01Didn't we have a car?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Oh, Christ!
0:24:05 > 0:24:10Science created us, and science will kill us.
0:24:12 > 0:24:19Christ was created without explanation, and taken the same way.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Love is the same.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Love is everything.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24I guess so.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30- Thank you.- Send my love to Prague. - Oh, I will. Thank you.
0:24:30 > 0:24:32Have a nice day.
0:24:35 > 0:24:36Marcus?
0:24:38 > 0:24:40- Hi.- What are you doing here?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42I just met someone.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Oh, the girl at the counter?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46- What?- She's young. That's all it is.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Get over it.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51- That's how they communicate. Hardly know they're doing it.- What?
0:24:51 > 0:24:56Doesn't fancy you. Beautiful, young East European girls are sent here to remind us of our mortality.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00- Remember what you look like in your underpants. - Jed, stop talking. It was her.- Who?
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Kate. The one I mentioned the other day. I was in love once when I was a kid.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07- It's her.- The kid?- Yeah.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09She's not a kid now, obviously.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13No, but you just met the girl you were in love with in here? The kid?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16- After 20 years.- How old were you?
0:25:16 > 0:25:20- 17.- That wasn't love. That was erectile tissue.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23- Let's get a coffee.- She left me. Her folks moved to the States.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26She had to go with them, I never saw her again.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29- I was two years in love, and then gone.- Now she's here?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31She moved back to London. Divorced.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Came here today for the same reason as me.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- What reason?- We used to watch Grimandi films together.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38I came here to check out the film listings.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40All that talk got me nostalgic.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- I'm sorry, have we met? - I know it's weird,
0:25:43 > 0:25:45but it must be fate.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Jesus Christ, man.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50But it's fine now, right?
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Yeah, of course. Is what fine?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55- You're not going to see her again, are you?- Again.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58No. God.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00No, I have Sophie now.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03- That would be...- No. Good, because Sophie's wonderful.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05- Thank you.- I was actually complementing her, but...
0:26:05 > 0:26:07I have to go.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09I feel odd.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16MUSIC: "Au Cafe De La Paix" by Thomas Fersen
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Loser!
0:28:24 > 0:28:28I don't believe it. Lunch at Harringtons. How did you manage this?
0:28:28 > 0:28:32I did a piece on the chef and he offered me a table. It's meant to be amazing.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35Thank you so much.
0:28:35 > 0:28:36Oh, well, it's from both of us so...
0:28:36 > 0:28:40- Of course. Thank you, Cheryl. - You're welcome.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Happy birthday, Sophie.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44I thought maybe you could educate Marcus.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47To be more like you?
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Where is he, anyway?
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Actually, I have no idea.
0:28:55 > 0:29:00Did Marcus happen to tell you that Jed and I are in couple counselling?
0:29:00 > 0:29:03I'm so sorry I'm late.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06- Hi.- Hello.
0:29:06 > 0:29:07- Hiya.- Hey, mate.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10- What happened? - I got caught up at work.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13And then I had to go and get your present.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24Ah.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26SOPHIE GIGGLES
0:29:26 > 0:29:27Well, open it.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36Ah...
0:29:37 > 0:29:41- Well, what do you think?- Oh.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51What?
0:29:53 > 0:29:55Oh, God.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57No. Oh, God.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03You thought... No.
0:30:03 > 0:30:04No, erm...
0:30:05 > 0:30:07It's just a present.
0:30:09 > 0:30:11Well, it's beautiful.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18It's really... It's lovely.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26HE MOUTHS
0:30:34 > 0:30:40I think you were relieved when I said no.
0:30:40 > 0:30:45I think you thought it meant you could leave me and no-one would question why.
0:30:45 > 0:30:51"After all, she said no." Your conscience could be clear. I think that was your thought process.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54We've been together for ten years. It was a natural progression.
0:30:54 > 0:30:56Like I said to you, we work.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59Yeah, like the vacuum cleaner you bought me for my birthday.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01You said we needed one.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04What I needed was... lunch at Harringtons.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09You don't like posh food.
0:31:09 > 0:31:12You have no idea what I like.
0:31:13 > 0:31:19Jed, could you tell Cheryl how do you feel now?
0:31:19 > 0:31:20Frustrated!
0:31:20 > 0:31:24Yes. But do you love her?
0:31:24 > 0:31:29- Yeah, I love her to pieces.- Who? - Cheryl.- So tell her.
0:31:30 > 0:31:33Cheryl, I love you to bits.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36- To bits?- Yes, to bits.
0:31:36 > 0:31:37What is "to bits"? To pieces?
0:31:37 > 0:31:42- It's an expression.- An expression of truth?- No, it's an expression.
0:31:42 > 0:31:46- For goodness' sake, you have them in French.- We have them in French?
0:31:46 > 0:31:47Yeah, an expression!
0:31:47 > 0:31:49I had to learn them at school.
0:31:49 > 0:31:55Fait du picnic. Comme ci, comme ca. Ou est le parking? En face de la banque. Evidement.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58Jed, could you tell her you love her without your qualification?
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Of course, don't be ridiculous.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03- So go on, then.- What?
0:32:03 > 0:32:05Go on.
0:32:07 > 0:32:09Je t'aime.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14I love you.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19Cheryl, do you love Jed?
0:32:22 > 0:32:23Well?
0:32:23 > 0:32:26Cheryl?
0:32:36 > 0:32:38Are you telling me you don't love me?
0:32:38 > 0:32:44I'm telling you I don't think I ever did.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50This is very good progress.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54Well done. Both of you.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21Getting in?
0:33:21 > 0:33:22I think I'll walk.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55Jed? Jed, I'm sorry.
0:33:55 > 0:33:59Me too.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03- I feel terrible about saying what I said.- You shouldn't. It's true.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Why don't we have a chat?
0:34:07 > 0:34:11- I mean, about all of it? - Yeah, we should probably do that.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Well, do you want to get in?
0:34:15 > 0:34:16I don't think so.
0:34:16 > 0:34:22- So how do you want to do this? - I don't know. We could wait for a red light.
0:34:23 > 0:34:28- Will you come to my launch party tonight?- Would you like me to?
0:34:28 > 0:34:29- Yes, I would.- Then I will.
0:34:29 > 0:34:34- Thank you.- You're welcome.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38I'll see you later, then.
0:34:43 > 0:34:51# Chanson d'amour...#
0:34:51 > 0:34:54We must do anything to find it.
0:34:54 > 0:34:55That is my obsession.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59It should be yours. We must find love.
0:35:01 > 0:35:09# Here in my heart
0:35:09 > 0:35:11# Ra-da-da-da-da... #
0:35:11 > 0:35:14- Jed.- What? You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?
0:35:14 > 0:35:16I need to talk to you.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19- What?- Love.
0:35:19 > 0:35:21- I heard you.- I understand it.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24I need to tell somebody, I need to tell you.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26In case you've forgotten, we're men.
0:35:26 > 0:35:27No, I saw Kate.
0:35:27 > 0:35:32- You'd better tell someone else. - There's nobody else to tell. You're my best mate.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Proper mates don't talk about love.
0:35:34 > 0:35:38Proper mates can go for years without talking or even thinking in each other's company.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40This isn't mateship, this is...
0:35:40 > 0:35:44That's why I was late for Sophie's birthday last night. We'd been for a coffee.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48- How could you do that? - Because her number was burning
0:35:48 > 0:35:52a hole in my pocket, and her smile was burning a hole in my heart.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55Tell me that's not Spandau Ballet.
0:35:55 > 0:35:56Well, I know... I mean...
0:35:56 > 0:35:59You're not going to think much of me for this, Jed, but...
0:36:00 > 0:36:03..this is it.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06How do you know this thing is love?
0:36:06 > 0:36:07The coffee.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09The coffee?
0:36:09 > 0:36:14It tasted different. When I was with Kate, the coffee tasted like it's never tasted before.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17- Maybe it was decaf. - You see, you don't get it, do you?
0:36:17 > 0:36:21- Apparently not. - Everything was different, Jed.
0:36:21 > 0:36:27Like the sky, the air, the pavement and the river's colours, Jed.
0:36:27 > 0:36:35It's got hundreds of colours. I could feel and hear and smell.
0:36:35 > 0:36:37It's like all my senses were buzzing, you know?
0:36:37 > 0:36:39I mean, London was alive.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41I was alive.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43And...and...
0:36:43 > 0:36:45and then we kissed.
0:36:47 > 0:36:51I mean, Jesus Christ, I didn't know what I was doing, but she felt the same.
0:36:51 > 0:36:53I mean, I could feel that she felt the same.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55I'm not exaggerating, Jed.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59Everything went sepia.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02The whole world. People.
0:37:02 > 0:37:07Sepia. My stomach was turning over and over and over. I mean, it was incredible.
0:37:07 > 0:37:13It's that thing, and I know what it is.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Weird-tasting coffee?
0:37:15 > 0:37:19It's Kate. It always was.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Well, what about Sophie?
0:37:24 > 0:37:27- If Kate is love, what is Sophie? - Um...
0:37:29 > 0:37:32How's the coffee when you're with Cheryl?
0:37:32 > 0:37:35I don't drink coffee.
0:37:35 > 0:37:36See?
0:37:36 > 0:37:38It's possible, Jed.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44It's possible to feel like this.
0:37:45 > 0:37:48And you have to find it, man.
0:37:50 > 0:37:54So, what are we going to do?
0:38:00 > 0:38:02MARCUS BELCHES I still find that so impressive.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04This was a really good idea.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06I feel more relaxed already.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08- Thank God for pubs, eh?- Yeah.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18I can't believe you can do this to Sophie.
0:38:21 > 0:38:22I haven't done anything to her yet.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25MARCUS BELCHES
0:38:25 > 0:38:27You kissed Kate.
0:38:27 > 0:38:29It doesn't count.
0:38:29 > 0:38:33Oh, right. So, if I kissed Sophie, it wouldn't count?
0:38:33 > 0:38:34No.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39MARCUS BELCHES
0:38:45 > 0:38:47MARCUS BELCHES
0:38:48 > 0:38:51- Another one?- Why not?
0:38:51 > 0:38:52- BOTH:- Tom?
0:38:52 > 0:38:54How exciting.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57- Hey.- Hey. Thank you so much.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01- You're welcome. You're welcome. Great party.- Thank you. Thank you.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03Excuse me, sorry.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06Cheryl, you have done us proud.
0:39:06 > 0:39:11And may I say, you're looking absolutely marvellous too.
0:39:11 > 0:39:17- Well, thank you.- Don't tell me you're here alone?- No, no.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19Jed should be here somewhere.
0:40:33 > 0:40:37I'm sorry about tonight.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39It's fine.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43- It was Marcus.- Stop it.
0:40:43 > 0:40:47No, seriously. He was in a state, and I had to have a drink with him.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54He's in love with a girl from school.
0:40:56 > 0:40:59- Poor Sophie.- Mmm.
0:40:59 > 0:41:02So, what was your advice?
0:41:05 > 0:41:08Well, I told him he wasn't in love with Kate.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12I told him he had a virus or something.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18- A virus?- Hm.
0:41:18 > 0:41:23You really... You think he has a virus?
0:41:23 > 0:41:28- Don't you believe that ANYONE can truly be in love?- Do you?
0:41:32 > 0:41:34I thought you'd be angry about tonight.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Me too.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38I'm not angry.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40Not any more.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43You not turning up tonight doesn't make me angry.
0:41:44 > 0:41:48You not being able to tell me you love me
0:41:48 > 0:41:51without saying "to bits"
0:41:51 > 0:41:53doesn't make me angry.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55That you put more thought into a present for Sophie
0:41:55 > 0:42:00than you ever have for me, it doesn't make me angry, Jed.
0:42:00 > 0:42:04The anger, the frustration, at least they felt like something.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06I thought that was love.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09Maybe it was. I don't know, but...
0:42:12 > 0:42:14But liking you,
0:42:14 > 0:42:17understanding you,
0:42:17 > 0:42:20feeling for you...
0:42:20 > 0:42:23feels like something else now.
0:42:23 > 0:42:27It feels like pity.
0:43:05 > 0:43:07You will know love
0:43:07 > 0:43:09when you feel it.
0:43:09 > 0:43:14And when you do, I beg you, if my films teach you anything,
0:43:14 > 0:43:18it is that the beginning is everything.
0:43:18 > 0:43:22Recognise it...and take it.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32PHONE RINGS
0:43:35 > 0:43:39- Jed Winter.- 'Hey, you. It's Sophie.'
0:43:39 > 0:43:41Sophie?
0:43:41 > 0:43:43Oh, I'm sorry, is this a bad time?
0:43:43 > 0:43:45No, no, no. I was just... Sorry, no, no.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48It's today. The lunch you gave me.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51- Oh!- 'Marcus was supposed to come,'
0:43:51 > 0:43:53but something's come up at work.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55A new account or something.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58- Oh.- 'Sorry?'- Oh, a new account?
0:43:58 > 0:44:02Well, I suppose that happens a lot.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05Well, not a lot, but... Oh, that's a shame.
0:44:05 > 0:44:10Jed, I was wondering, I wasn't sure about asking you this, but...
0:44:10 > 0:44:12Ask away.
0:44:13 > 0:44:15OK.
0:44:15 > 0:44:16Well...
0:44:16 > 0:44:20Do you? You and me. Do you fancy...?
0:44:20 > 0:44:22Fancy? I thought you'd never ask.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25I try not to, with you being Marcus's girlfriend,
0:44:25 > 0:44:29but you shouldn't feel weird about asking, because the answer's, "Yes, I do."
0:44:33 > 0:44:35Sophie?
0:44:35 > 0:44:38I was wondering if you fancied joining me for lunch.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40No, I know. I know that.
0:44:40 > 0:44:44- I was joking.- Oh, God. Oh.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47'Oh, God, I'm sorry.'
0:44:47 > 0:44:50- How ridiculous of me. - No, it's not ridiculous.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53It's just me. I was just... I was being an arse.
0:44:53 > 0:44:56- I would love to have lunch with you. - Great.
0:44:56 > 0:45:00And you weren't being an arse. I was being an arse.
0:45:00 > 0:45:03Well, my arse is bigger.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05Look, I'll see you in a bit.
0:45:05 > 0:45:07OK, OK. Bye.
0:45:09 > 0:45:10Dick!
0:45:12 > 0:45:13Dick.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23- Hey, you.- Hi.- Hi.
0:45:25 > 0:45:29- You look smart. Here in your suit. - This old thing...
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Here we go.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34Thank you. Oh, stop it.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39You think so? But I'm just fed up with it.
0:45:39 > 0:45:44It's meant to make your life so easy. "Broadband makes your life so easy." I mean, that's the campaign.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46But I got on the phone to Bangalore,
0:45:46 > 0:45:50talking to a man who clearly thought I had a degree in computer science,
0:45:50 > 0:45:53and who, frankly, I couldn't really understand.
0:45:53 > 0:45:56I know, I felt bad pointing out that I was struggling with his accent,
0:45:56 > 0:46:01but after a couple of hours, I sort of got the hang of it, and we had a lovely chat about his family.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04You got your broadband sorted out, right?
0:46:04 > 0:46:05No.
0:46:05 > 0:46:09- But I've adopted an elephant called Maude.- That's hilarious.
0:46:09 > 0:46:14- That's what you should be writing about in your novel.- You think?- Yes!
0:46:14 > 0:46:17You're far more interesting than those wankers you have to write about.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20According to Cheryl, I'm a failed novelist.
0:46:20 > 0:46:22You're not a failed novelist.
0:46:22 > 0:46:24You're a scared one.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29Smoked fish and chips ice cream.
0:46:29 > 0:46:34Hold it in your mouth for ten seconds, and enjoy the memories.
0:46:39 > 0:46:41Oh, by the way, about earlier.
0:46:41 > 0:46:45When I said that I... About the fancying thing...
0:46:45 > 0:46:47Oh, don't. I clearly have no sense of humour.
0:46:47 > 0:46:51- Oh, well, I clearly am not funny. - We should do a double act.
0:46:51 > 0:46:53Yeah. No jokes, no laughs, just awkward misunderstandings.
0:46:53 > 0:46:56- We'd be a sellout.- It makes ME laugh.
0:46:56 > 0:47:01It's this Grimandi guy. His relentless stream of shit just permeates my mind.
0:47:01 > 0:47:03Nice imagery.
0:47:15 > 0:47:16Mmm.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23I feel 16 again.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Really?
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Freshly cut grass.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30Long summers.
0:47:30 > 0:47:35- It really takes me back.- Well, that's apparently what he does here.
0:47:35 > 0:47:40Taste is meant to... make you feel again.
0:47:40 > 0:47:43It does. He's a genius!
0:47:50 > 0:47:52Mmm.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55It tastes like magic.
0:47:55 > 0:47:57It's incredible.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03Oh, Jed.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13I feel like I'm at the seaside.
0:48:18 > 0:48:22Just been for a swim in the sea. Mmm.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25Standing on the pier.
0:48:25 > 0:48:28The sun shining on my face.
0:48:28 > 0:48:33It's exactly how fish and chips used to taste when you were a kid.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35They just don't taste like this any more.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42Mmm. No-one would believe us if we told them.
0:48:42 > 0:48:47You're right. He's a genius.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51So.
0:48:51 > 0:48:54Tell me about this Grimandi's philosophy of love.
0:48:55 > 0:49:02Well, he thinks that the greater the meeting, the falling,
0:49:02 > 0:49:04the better chance a relationship has.
0:49:04 > 0:49:08He believes in...sparks.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14- Do you believe that? - I don't know what I believe.
0:49:17 > 0:49:18Thank you.
0:49:23 > 0:49:28Sweet beef with roast potato and leek custard,
0:49:28 > 0:49:33served on a bed of chocolate jelly and bacon. Enjoy.
0:49:36 > 0:49:41OK, this is officially the best present anyone has ever given me.
0:49:45 > 0:49:47You're a very special man, Jed.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54- Cheers.- Cheers.
0:49:57 > 0:50:01A whole baby pigeon wrapped in marzipan really should be disgusting.
0:50:01 > 0:50:03It reminded me of my first boyfriend.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06Isn't taste incredible?
0:50:06 > 0:50:09Actually, it was the little turned up nose and the bony feet!
0:50:09 > 0:50:11THEY LAUGH
0:50:12 > 0:50:14- It's funny.- What is?
0:50:14 > 0:50:17- Nothing.- Nothing's funny.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20# Give me a kiss to build a dream on
0:50:20 > 0:50:23# In my imagination
0:50:23 > 0:50:26# We'll thrive upon that kiss
0:50:27 > 0:50:31# Sweetheart I ask no more than this
0:50:31 > 0:50:34# A kiss to build a dream on... #
0:50:37 > 0:50:40You don't smoke.
0:50:40 > 0:50:42I know.
0:50:43 > 0:50:47It's love. I mean, it's really love.
0:50:47 > 0:50:50- I think it is.- Do you?- It's interesting, it's such a fine line
0:50:50 > 0:50:55- between being in love and being Care in the Community. - So you think it is love?
0:50:55 > 0:50:57I mean, I'm really in love.
0:50:57 > 0:50:59- Oh, for God's sake. - I need to know, mate.
0:50:59 > 0:51:03- I mean, it feels like it is but how do I know? - PHONE BEEPS
0:51:11 > 0:51:16Does she make you feel like you could give up everything else in your life for her?
0:51:17 > 0:51:18I think she does.
0:51:18 > 0:51:21Would your life be intolerable without her?
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Yes.
0:51:23 > 0:51:28Does she make you feel like you felt when you were happy?
0:51:28 > 0:51:32- Even if happiness is a myth. - Yes. Yeah, she does.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36Could you leave your partner for her, regardless of the consequences?
0:51:39 > 0:51:41I think I could.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45Then, my friend,
0:51:45 > 0:51:48you're in love.
0:51:48 > 0:51:49Cheers.
0:51:54 > 0:51:59- I keep hitting the shift key, and I just get this error thing. Listen. - BEEPING
0:51:59 > 0:52:01What?
0:52:01 > 0:52:05Do I? Yes, of course I know what a shift key is.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08OK, I'll try the other one.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11Same thing, same thing.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14Do I? I'm sorry, I don't...
0:52:14 > 0:52:17Look, is Ranjit Vinsaka there?
0:52:17 > 0:52:19He understands me.
0:52:19 > 0:52:22Oh, is he? Oh, dear.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25No... Why do you need my postal code now?
0:52:25 > 0:52:28We're past that, you've been helping me. You don't need my post...
0:52:28 > 0:52:31N5 4PF.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33N.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37No, N for Norwich. Norman.
0:52:39 > 0:52:42For naan. Naan.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44Five. Yeah.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Four.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49Four. Four! No, just one four.
0:52:49 > 0:52:52Forget it.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00There's coffee in the pot.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05You don't drink coffee.
0:53:06 > 0:53:08Thought I'd give it a whirl.
0:53:15 > 0:53:17No luck with the broadband?
0:53:18 > 0:53:21No, it's not for me.
0:53:26 > 0:53:28Good night?
0:53:28 > 0:53:30Good.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32Yours?
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Good. Thanks.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38Good.
0:53:43 > 0:53:45Are you all right?
0:53:45 > 0:53:47I'm fine.
0:53:49 > 0:53:50PHONE BEEPS
0:53:53 > 0:53:56- I'll take a shower, then. - Yeah, I better get back to work.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15He's having an affair.
0:54:18 > 0:54:20Are you sure?
0:54:20 > 0:54:22A woman knows.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24Yeah, I suppose they do.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29Has he said anything?
0:54:29 > 0:54:31Of course not. Fucking coward.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35Has he said anything to you?
0:54:35 > 0:54:37No.
0:54:37 > 0:54:40Oh, Jed.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43I saved that bastard's sorry little life.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45Yeah, you did.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48Mind you, is that a reason to be with someone?
0:54:51 > 0:54:54I don't know why I called you.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57Don't know what I wanted you to say. This is pointless.
0:54:57 > 0:55:00No.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02Wait, I...
0:55:04 > 0:55:07I need to find Marcus.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16- She knows you're having an affair. - I know.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18She wanted to know if I knew anything.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20- Did you tell her?- Of course not!
0:55:20 > 0:55:22I'm not going to do your dirty work for you.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25- I'm going to tell her tonight. - Tell her what?- I'm leaving her.
0:55:25 > 0:55:29- What?- I'm leaving. I just quit this nonsense too.- What?
0:55:29 > 0:55:31Yeah, Kate and I are going to go and live in Paris.
0:55:31 > 0:55:33We're in love, Jed.
0:55:33 > 0:55:36- Do you understand? Kate and I are in love.- Paris?
0:55:36 > 0:55:39- Didn't I mention Kate's French? - French?- Shh.
0:55:39 > 0:55:41Are you just going to repeat everything that I say?
0:55:41 > 0:55:44Look, this is madness.
0:55:44 > 0:55:45I'm glad you're pleased for me.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48This is real this time. No tricks.
0:55:48 > 0:55:52- Tricks?- See, you're doing it again. I gotta go.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55How can you leave someone who loves you?
0:55:55 > 0:55:56Oh, it's easy.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59She doesn't love me, and I don't love her.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02But she saved your life.
0:56:03 > 0:56:07No, she didn't. Sorry.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27But love is never what it seems.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30Maybe love is nothing more than a confidence trick.
0:56:30 > 0:56:33If we can deceive others,
0:56:33 > 0:56:36'we can deceive ourselves.
0:56:36 > 0:56:40'We can make ourselves believe anything we want to believe.
0:56:40 > 0:56:44'We only know our own truth,
0:56:44 > 0:56:49'nobody else's, but we must know our own.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51'We must know it.'
0:57:06 > 0:57:08You were right.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10I proposed hoping you'd say no.
0:57:13 > 0:57:15I'm not in love with you...
0:57:17 > 0:57:20..but I couldn't admit that to you, to myself.
0:57:21 > 0:57:24I needed you to leave me.
0:57:24 > 0:57:26I'm a coward.
0:57:26 > 0:57:28MAN CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:57:32 > 0:57:34Sorry.
0:57:39 > 0:57:42I think we met at a time
0:57:42 > 0:57:47when we both needed something in our lives.
0:57:47 > 0:57:52I think that's what it was and I think that has nothing to do with love.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59We were just kids.
0:57:59 > 0:58:01Pissed, lonely kids.
0:58:06 > 0:58:08So the proposal was an endgame.
0:58:08 > 0:58:10Yeah.
0:58:10 > 0:58:12Fascinating.
0:58:16 > 0:58:20- I was right.- Yeah.
0:58:22 > 0:58:25And what made you realise this?
0:58:29 > 0:58:31You said it yourself.
0:58:31 > 0:58:34Working isn't enough.
0:58:34 > 0:58:36Wonderful. This is wonderful.
0:58:36 > 0:58:39Why don't you just shut up?
0:58:47 > 0:58:49I'm sorry.
0:59:17 > 0:59:22It may not feel like it now, but this is a success story, Cheryl.
0:59:24 > 0:59:26Success?
0:59:26 > 0:59:30You came here to separate and now you achieve it.
0:59:33 > 0:59:35Do you really believe that he...?
0:59:35 > 0:59:37Do you think that...?
0:59:39 > 0:59:42Because I...I want...
0:59:42 > 0:59:45I want to feel something.
0:59:45 > 0:59:48I haven't felt anything for...
0:59:49 > 0:59:54Even when we met, we were numb on drink and drugs and...life,
0:59:54 > 0:59:57and I thought being together was enough.
0:59:59 > 1:00:01You know, other people fall in love.
1:00:01 > 1:00:04They talk about it all the time.
1:00:04 > 1:00:08They write songs about it, for Christ's sake. I just... I never...
1:00:08 > 1:00:11really believed them.
1:00:13 > 1:00:16It's all my bloody magazine talks about.
1:00:32 > 1:00:37I think I might want to fall in love.
1:00:41 > 1:00:43I'm nearly 40
1:00:43 > 1:00:45and I've never done it.
1:00:49 > 1:00:52I want something to feel.
1:00:52 > 1:00:55I want a story to tell.
1:00:55 > 1:00:57I want my beginning.
1:01:23 > 1:01:25No, she went fucking mental.
1:01:25 > 1:01:28She kept telling me what a twat I am.
1:01:28 > 1:01:30- You are.- She knows it's not true.
1:01:30 > 1:01:33She's just upset, which is fine.
1:01:33 > 1:01:35Whatever's best for her.
1:01:35 > 1:01:37Less grieving, I suppose.
1:01:37 > 1:01:39Grieving. God, I hadn't thought about the grieving.
1:01:39 > 1:01:43- I hope you can help Sophie through this.- Me? Why?
1:01:43 > 1:01:46Well, because you get each other.
1:01:46 > 1:01:48You know, she's always going on about you.
1:01:48 > 1:01:51If I cared, I'd think she had a thing about you.
1:01:51 > 1:01:54- Don't be ridiculous.- Look, me and Kate are leaving for Paris on Friday.
1:01:54 > 1:01:57We're on the first train out of here. And just so's you know,
1:01:57 > 1:02:00I'm not proud of myself.
1:02:02 > 1:02:04Sorry about you and Cheryl.
1:02:06 > 1:02:07It's a fucking minefield.
1:02:13 > 1:02:14See you, man.
1:03:02 > 1:03:05LAUGHTER
1:03:05 > 1:03:07I tell you,
1:03:07 > 1:03:10love is, of course, a prominent subject in my life.
1:03:10 > 1:03:13- As well as sex.- Love you, Thierry.
1:03:13 > 1:03:15Get the number of this woman.
1:03:15 > 1:03:18And if it was a man, get him a good surgeon.
1:03:22 > 1:03:27So, Thierry, you've said before that love can sometimes be a confidence trick.
1:03:27 > 1:03:31Now, do you truly believe that, or is it simply a motif in your films?
1:03:31 > 1:03:33There is no such a thing as a motif in a film.
1:03:33 > 1:03:37Film is my life. My life is film.
1:03:37 > 1:03:41Evidement.
1:03:41 > 1:03:46And in La Fin Du Commencement, was she really a prostitute?
1:03:47 > 1:03:49Monsieur Jed...
1:03:50 > 1:03:54..she was no more a prostitute than he thought she was.
1:03:54 > 1:03:56He made it up.
1:03:56 > 1:04:01He knew if he could pull off a beginning like that, they'd have a real chance at love.
1:04:01 > 1:04:03So he never thought she was.
1:04:03 > 1:04:05Of course not.
1:04:05 > 1:04:07He wanted a beginning.
1:04:07 > 1:04:11- That's not love, that's deception. - I like that.
1:04:24 > 1:04:26How should it feel?
1:04:28 > 1:04:30I mean, when you...
1:04:30 > 1:04:34feel it, when you know, when you think,
1:04:34 > 1:04:37when you find it,
1:04:37 > 1:04:40how should it...? For you, what are the signs?
1:04:44 > 1:04:46The coffee.
1:04:46 > 1:04:49The coffee?
1:04:49 > 1:04:52The taste is different.
1:04:52 > 1:04:54Love is tasting different.
1:04:54 > 1:04:58Love is sepia. Seeing a woman's lips,
1:04:58 > 1:05:03her eyelashes, her fingernails, her soul.
1:05:03 > 1:05:06Love is sickness.
1:05:06 > 1:05:08Longing. Illness.
1:05:08 > 1:05:11Love is...
1:05:11 > 1:05:14Love is close-ups.
1:05:14 > 1:05:18Now, let me show the scene from Le Suicide Amour.
1:05:18 > 1:05:23- You know it?- I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen it yet.
1:05:23 > 1:05:30It is a film about romantic deception, where love and mendacity collide in beauty.
1:05:31 > 1:05:34In beauty.
1:07:44 > 1:07:46RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
1:07:53 > 1:07:56Thank you.
1:08:18 > 1:08:20I'm so sorry.
1:08:20 > 1:08:22I can't believe it.
1:08:22 > 1:08:24I can't believe it.
1:08:24 > 1:08:27Not only does he run off with someone from his maths class,
1:08:27 > 1:08:30but he pretended to fucking kill himself so that he...
1:08:30 > 1:08:34- Jesus.- We don't actually know that's what he did.
1:08:34 > 1:08:36- That's exactly what he did. - Well, Soph, I mean...
1:08:36 > 1:08:38Don't try and defend him, Jed.
1:08:41 > 1:08:43What made you come today?
1:08:46 > 1:08:51I wanted to make some sense of what he and this Kate shared.
1:08:51 > 1:08:54And you thought Grimandi would have those answers?
1:08:54 > 1:08:57Well, as it turns out, he did.
1:08:57 > 1:09:00Evil little prick.
1:09:00 > 1:09:03- Did you love him?- What?
1:09:03 > 1:09:06Marcus.
1:09:06 > 1:09:10- Did you love him? - Of course, I bloody love him to bits. What kind of question is that?
1:09:13 > 1:09:15- What are you smiling at?- Nothing.
1:09:15 > 1:09:18It's just someone asked me if I love Cheryl, and I said, "Of course, to bits."
1:09:18 > 1:09:22- So?- But I didn't.
1:09:22 > 1:09:24Nor she me.
1:09:24 > 1:09:27He's left me.
1:09:38 > 1:09:40You must have known.
1:09:40 > 1:09:42- What?- He must have told you.
1:09:42 > 1:09:45- In the pub, over a pint...- No, no.
1:09:45 > 1:09:46Men like him don't keep secrets from other men.
1:09:46 > 1:09:48Sophie, if I'd known that he'd done something like that...
1:09:48 > 1:09:51What? If you'd known, what?
1:09:51 > 1:09:53- You'd have told me?- Well, yeah.
1:09:53 > 1:09:55Don't lie to me, Jed. Do not lie to me.
1:09:55 > 1:09:56Of course I'd have had told you.
1:09:56 > 1:10:00You were laughing at me. You and him, and all his mates at work.
1:10:00 > 1:10:02You were all having a good old laugh.
1:10:02 > 1:10:05And what about this, this Kate?
1:10:05 > 1:10:07Did you know about that?
1:10:10 > 1:10:12- Yes.
1:10:13 > 1:10:18- You did? You knew? - I was going to tell you.
1:10:18 > 1:10:19I wanted to.
1:10:19 > 1:10:22Jesus Christ, you as well.
1:10:22 > 1:10:25Soph, I didn't know what to do.
1:10:25 > 1:10:29You really were both having a good laugh.
1:10:29 > 1:10:30- How fucking stupid am I? - That's not how it happened.
1:10:30 > 1:10:32- That's not what happened. - Why don't you have a laugh now?
1:10:32 > 1:10:36Go on. We could have a good old chat about who else Marcus is shagging.
1:10:36 > 1:10:41- Will you stop this? - Yeah, we can have a good cackle at good old Sophie.
1:10:41 > 1:10:44Would you like that? Would you all bloody like that?
1:10:44 > 1:10:46- I love you.- What?
1:10:46 > 1:10:49I... I...
1:10:49 > 1:10:52I... Christ, I'm sorry.
1:10:54 > 1:10:57I think...
1:10:57 > 1:10:59You lied to me,
1:10:59 > 1:11:03and I think you should leave now.
1:11:03 > 1:11:06Please, just leave me alone.
1:11:12 > 1:11:15I need to talk to a woman.
1:11:27 > 1:11:29You stupid,
1:11:29 > 1:11:31stupid, stupid,
1:11:31 > 1:11:34stupid,
1:11:34 > 1:11:39stupid, fucking stupid, fucking stupid, fucking fuck!
1:11:39 > 1:11:41Fuck. "I love you" You twat!
1:11:43 > 1:11:45Hairy-arsed fucking twat!
1:11:46 > 1:11:48Ow! Fucking hell. Ow.
1:11:53 > 1:11:55Love is everything.
1:11:57 > 1:12:00The only reason... I say to you once.
1:12:00 > 1:12:04Look, love is the only significant event in
1:12:04 > 1:12:06the life of a human being.
1:12:06 > 1:12:08We must do anything.
1:12:08 > 1:12:11That is my obsession.
1:12:11 > 1:12:13Monsieur Jed, have you found love?
1:13:03 > 1:13:05Hey!
1:13:05 > 1:13:07That's my fucking bike! Hey, come back!
1:13:31 > 1:13:33TYRES SCREECH
1:13:43 > 1:13:44- Marcus!
1:13:52 > 1:13:53What are you doing here?
1:13:56 > 1:13:59- Jesus!- How could you do that? - You just fucking hit me!
1:13:59 > 1:14:01- You fucked her up, and now you've fucked me up, too. - What the fuck are you talking about?
1:14:01 > 1:14:04No wonder you were so weird about Grimandi.
1:14:04 > 1:14:05They were his lines, weren't they? The coffee, the sepia.
1:14:05 > 1:14:07- What?- We saw the film, Marcus!
1:14:07 > 1:14:09Soph and I, we saw Grimandi's film.
1:14:09 > 1:14:11OK.
1:14:13 > 1:14:16I admit I got the idea
1:14:16 > 1:14:21from Grimandi, but that was just how we met. I loved Sophie.
1:14:21 > 1:14:26At least... At least, I thought I did, until Kate.
1:14:26 > 1:14:29I lied to Sophie about the suicide.
1:14:29 > 1:14:33I lied to you about not liking Grimandi, but this is true, me and Kate. We're true.
1:14:33 > 1:14:35True, like a French film true?
1:14:35 > 1:14:38No. Like the man says, true.
1:14:38 > 1:14:41If you haven't experienced love, then you haven't lived.
1:14:41 > 1:14:44Whatever it takes, Jed.
1:14:44 > 1:14:46Whatever it takes.
1:14:47 > 1:14:50I should've come clean, though.
1:14:50 > 1:14:53- I wanted to. - I should've done my research.
1:14:55 > 1:14:57Well, you've always been lazy.
1:14:57 > 1:15:02- I've always been honest. - No, you haven't.- Well, I am now.
1:15:04 > 1:15:06I'll see you.
1:15:55 > 1:15:56Christ.
1:16:03 > 1:16:06Soph, what...? Why are you here?
1:16:06 > 1:16:07I needed to see Kate.
1:16:07 > 1:16:09Why?
1:16:09 > 1:16:11I'm a woman.
1:16:13 > 1:16:15- She's pretty.- You think?
1:16:19 > 1:16:21- I saw what you did.- Oh, God, did you?
1:16:21 > 1:16:25- I'm not much of a fighter, I'm afraid.- Did you hit him for me?
1:16:29 > 1:16:30I'm so sorry about last night.
1:16:30 > 1:16:33- Me too.- Really?
1:16:33 > 1:16:35You were just trying to be kind.
1:16:37 > 1:16:39No, I wasn't.
1:16:39 > 1:16:41I meant it, Soph.
1:16:41 > 1:16:43I...
1:16:43 > 1:16:46Something happened for me. Something started.
1:16:46 > 1:16:52At that lunch, or at your birthday, or... God, when we first met, I don't know when, but, erm...
1:16:54 > 1:16:55..it happened.
1:16:58 > 1:17:00I'm sorry, Soph.
1:17:00 > 1:17:02Look, Jed, I...
1:17:05 > 1:17:07I'm gonna shut up.
1:17:08 > 1:17:10In fact, I'm gonna leave.
1:17:30 > 1:17:33- Are you expecting a guest?- No. Thank you.
1:17:42 > 1:17:45KNOCK ON DOOR
1:17:54 > 1:17:56- Sophie.- I'm glad.
1:17:56 > 1:17:57For what?
1:17:57 > 1:18:00That you don't know when it started.
1:18:02 > 1:18:05- When what started?- This.
1:18:05 > 1:18:08When this started.
1:18:08 > 1:18:10So you think it has?
1:18:10 > 1:18:13I think
1:18:13 > 1:18:18there are other meetings, other than suicides and prostitutes.
1:18:18 > 1:18:20Less dramatic.
1:18:21 > 1:18:22Like what?
1:18:25 > 1:18:26Like this.
1:18:28 > 1:18:31How about this?
1:18:33 > 1:18:35My doorstep?
1:18:37 > 1:18:39It might have to be dramatic enough.
1:19:26 > 1:19:30- You know what I like best about France?- Surprise me.- Leaving it.
1:19:30 > 1:19:31SHE LAUGHS
1:19:31 > 1:19:34SIREN WAILS
1:19:40 > 1:19:43MUSIC: "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien"
1:20:29 > 1:20:32# Dirty old river
1:20:32 > 1:20:34# Must you keep rolling
1:20:34 > 1:20:36# Flowing into the night
1:20:38 > 1:20:41# People so busy
1:20:41 > 1:20:43# Makes me feel dizzy
1:20:43 > 1:20:46# Taxi light shines so bright
1:20:48 > 1:20:56# But I don't need no friends
1:20:56 > 1:21:02# As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset
1:21:02 > 1:21:04# I am in paradise
1:21:08 > 1:21:13# Every day I look at the world from my window
1:21:17 > 1:21:21# But chilly, chilly is evening time
1:21:21 > 1:21:24# Waterloo sunset's fine
1:21:24 > 1:21:26# Waterloo sunset's fine
1:21:29 > 1:21:35# Terry meets Julie, Waterloo Station
1:21:35 > 1:21:36# Every Friday night
1:21:38 > 1:21:41# But I am so lazy
1:21:41 > 1:21:43# Don't want to wander
1:21:43 > 1:21:46# I stay at home at night
1:21:48 > 1:21:54# And I don't feel afraid
1:21:56 > 1:22:02# As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset
1:22:02 > 1:22:03# I am in paradise
1:22:06 > 1:22:08# Sha, la, la
1:22:08 > 1:22:10# Every day I look at
1:22:10 > 1:22:13# The world from my window
1:22:15 > 1:22:17# Sha, la, la
1:22:17 > 1:22:21# But chilly, chilly is evening time
1:22:21 > 1:22:24# Waterloo sunset's fine
1:22:24 > 1:22:26# Waterloo sunset's fine
1:22:29 > 1:22:31# Millions of people
1:22:31 > 1:22:34# Swarming like flies round
1:22:34 > 1:22:35# Waterloo underground
1:22:38 > 1:22:41# But Terry and Julie
1:22:41 > 1:22:43# Cross over the river
1:22:43 > 1:22:46# Where they feel safe and sound
1:22:48 > 1:22:49# And they don't
1:22:51 > 1:22:55# Need no friends
1:22:57 > 1:22:59# As long as they gaze on
1:22:59 > 1:23:01# Waterloo sunset
1:23:01 > 1:23:03# They are in paradise
1:23:15 > 1:23:18# As long as they gaze on
1:23:18 > 1:23:21# Waterloo sunset
1:23:21 > 1:23:22# They are in paradise
1:23:24 > 1:23:27# As long as they gaze on
1:23:27 > 1:23:30# Waterloo sunset
1:23:30 > 1:23:31# They are in paradise
1:23:33 > 1:23:36# As long as they gaze on
1:23:36 > 1:23:38# Waterloo sunset
1:23:38 > 1:23:41# They are in paradise. #
1:23:41 > 1:23:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
1:23:44 > 1:23:47E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk