Small Time Crooks

0:01:30 > 0:01:35# Oh baby, what I couldn't do

0:01:35 > 0:01:39# With plenty of money and you

0:01:40 > 0:01:45# In spite of the worry That money brings

0:01:45 > 0:01:48# Just a little filthy lucre

0:01:48 > 0:01:50# Buys a lot of things

0:01:50 > 0:01:53# And I could take you to places

0:01:53 > 0:01:55# You'd like to go

0:01:55 > 0:01:57# But outside of that

0:01:57 > 0:02:02# I've no use for dough It's the root of all evil

0:02:02 > 0:02:08# Of strife and upheaval But I'm certain, honey

0:02:08 > 0:02:11# That life could be sunny With plenty of... #

0:02:11 > 0:02:13May I help you?

0:02:13 > 0:02:15I'm looking for a box of chocolates.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18You know, something fancy if you have it.

0:02:18 > 0:02:23Is it for a gift?

0:02:19 > 0:02:23Yeah, yeah. I want something fancy, but not too rich,

0:02:23 > 0:02:26because she tends to put on a little blubber, the wife,

0:02:26 > 0:02:27around the thighs.

0:02:27 > 0:02:30What about this one? It's really nice. It's kind of rich.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32It's from Belgium.

0:02:32 > 0:02:33From Belgium?

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Very pretty, don't you think?

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Yeah.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Frenchy, I'm home.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Who's that?

0:02:40 > 0:02:42"Who's that?"? It's the Pope!

0:02:42 > 0:02:44I always wanted to see your apartment.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46For God's sakes, who comes home every night? Me!

0:02:46 > 0:02:47I'm watching Princess Diana.

0:02:47 > 0:02:51Not again. How many times are you gonna do that?

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Look at those clothes.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57I told you time and again, she got all that stuff discount.

0:02:57 > 0:03:02You don't think those kings and queens buy retail? Here.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04I got you some chocolates.

0:03:04 > 0:03:06Chocolates?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08You heard of chocolates? I got you chocolates.

0:03:08 > 0:03:09How come?

0:03:09 > 0:03:11What do you mean, "How come?"

0:03:11 > 0:03:15These are from Belgium. They're hand-made by Belgiumites.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Tell it to the Marines. You're up to something.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19You get caught hitting on a waitress?

0:03:19 > 0:03:23In 25 years of marriage, have I ever hit on anybody but you?

0:03:23 > 0:03:27I don't buy it, Ray. You got a scheme. You got a scheme.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29Come on. Forget it. Get me dinner, they're not for you.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31I got you nothing.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34Just get me dinner. I want my dinner. I want it right now.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36And hurry up.

0:03:36 > 0:03:42Before you make dinner, I've got to talk to you about something.

0:03:38 > 0:03:42What did I tell you? Here comes the commercial. >

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Frenchy, I need our 6,000 bucks.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46What? >

0:03:46 > 0:03:49- I've gotta have our six Gs. - That's our whole savings.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51I know. Don't get dramatic about it.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Come on, six Gs - that's all we got.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56I've got a brilliant idea. I'm gonna make us rich.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58How are you gonna make us rich? Rob a bank?

0:03:58 > 0:04:01How'd you know that? That's fantastic. How'd you guess?

0:04:01 > 0:04:03What?

0:04:01 > 0:04:03First shot out of the box, you got it.

0:04:03 > 0:04:07Is that why Tommy Beale's coming over, and Denny?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10What would you say if I told you

0:04:10 > 0:04:12you were married to a very brilliant man?

0:04:12 > 0:04:15I'd say I'd have to be a bigamist.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17This is fool proof. Fool proof.

0:04:17 > 0:04:22You told me you were finished with that life.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22I've been finished with it, but look at me. I kick around

0:04:22 > 0:04:26from stupid little job to job. Do you like the way we're living?

0:04:24 > 0:04:26It beats your former residence.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28You think I like spending our anniversary

0:04:28 > 0:04:32staring at you through glass, talking over a phone?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Frenchy, you stood by me.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Granted, you stood by me.

0:04:34 > 0:04:38Two years in the joint, I waited for you, and what did I get for it?

0:04:38 > 0:04:40You know what you got, you got Belgian chocolates.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42What's wrong with that?

0:04:42 > 0:04:46I've got an idea. This is so incredible, but I need money.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48We need seed money for this plan.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51We need 18,000 bucks, so Denny's kicking in six

0:04:51 > 0:04:54and Tommy's kicking in six and I gotta put in my six.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56Where are those bums gonna get that kind of stake?

0:04:56 > 0:04:58They're not bums. Maybe they didn't go to Harvard...

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Harvard? They never completed kindergarten because they were drafted.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04You're such a snob, Frenchy.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Denny's not stupid just because he drives a truck.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09No, he's stupid because he has a low IQ. Come on, outta the way.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12I'd like to just flatten you once.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Tommy's got street smarts.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17He is street-smart. His brain's got pot holes.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19You with the wisecracks. She's got the wisecracks.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21She's got an answer for everything.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Forget it, I'm not spending our last few bucks.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26I got my end. I told you I could match you.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28< You've over-matched him. He can't get his end.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Frenchy, I've gotta have that money.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Yeah, for a heist, pass. Maybe if you needed a quadruple bypass.

0:05:33 > 0:05:37- This is a brilliant thing. Tell her. - Ray really is a genius.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Compared to you, this chair is a genius.

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Seriously, this is a plan of a great mind.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42This is precise, mathematical, advanced.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45It's hard to believe that you're just a dishwasher.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Thank you. Frenchy, I don't get your agreeance

0:05:47 > 0:05:50on this, when I count to three, there's gonna be trouble.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52You can count to 53 and you won't get it.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54I did a lot of nails for that money and it's all we've got.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56That's what you wanna do your whole life, nails?

0:05:56 > 0:05:58Take a hike, OK.

0:05:58 > 0:06:02Frenchy, I'm counting... If I lose it, you're gone.

0:06:02 > 0:06:03I'm quaking in my pantyhose!

0:06:03 > 0:06:05DOOR BUZZER

0:06:05 > 0:06:07You're embarrassing me in front of my friends.

0:06:07 > 0:06:11Who said you could have one of my cookies?

0:06:08 > 0:06:11I can't have a cookie? Did you get your share?

0:06:11 > 0:06:14My share of what? Oh, yeah, I got it. I sold some stuff.

0:06:14 > 0:06:16< What did you sell?

0:06:14 > 0:06:16A rented car.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16< He can't get his end.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19I can get my end, what are you telling him?

0:06:18 > 0:06:19She won't give it to him.

0:06:19 > 0:06:20I guess the candy didn't work.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22You said you'd have her eating out of your hand.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24Will you shut up! For crying out loud!

0:06:24 > 0:06:27All that's missing from this guy is a piece of velvet and a pet mouse.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Frenchy, give me the money.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32I wouldn't invest our last six thou if you had a legit idea,

0:06:32 > 0:06:35much less something that's gonna land the three of you jerks back in stir.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37You said you call the shots around here.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Would you knock it off? Jesus...!

0:06:40 > 0:06:43Frenchy, that money is mine.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45It's mine, I earned it, and I'm saving it for an emergency.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48- But I'm your husband, it's half... - Take a hike.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Frenchy, I'm gonna get violent. I'm gonna get violent.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53Please, with your hernia?

0:06:53 > 0:06:56Fellas, I can't do it. It's over. Forget it. It's out.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57You said you're the boss.

0:06:57 > 0:07:01Would you stop telling me what I said?

0:07:01 > 0:07:05Frenchy, it's over. Let the bank lay there. Let someone else do it.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07I got to get some air. I'm going up on the roof.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09Don't jump, you're too valuable as a dishwasher.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Knock it off.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Frenchy, can I have another cookie?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16< No!

0:07:14 > 0:07:16I want one.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25All right.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Tell me your idea.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29I told you my idea. You shot it down.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Are you gonna tell me or are you gonna have a tantrum?

0:07:31 > 0:07:34For God's sakes, for some reason,

0:07:34 > 0:07:36you're always shooting down my dreams.

0:07:36 > 0:07:41Because you get the kind of dreams that people get after putting opium in their brownies.

0:07:41 > 0:07:43Can I for one minute tell you about this bank?

0:07:43 > 0:07:44You're not a bank robber, Ray.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47You got a two-year mandatory vacation that proved that.

0:07:47 > 0:07:50What I'm not is a stick-up man. That's all we proved.

0:07:50 > 0:07:54When I hit that bank, we were inexperienced.

0:07:54 > 0:07:57The whole group of us put on rubber masks.

0:07:57 > 0:07:58There were all Ronald Reagan masks,

0:07:58 > 0:08:01so it was confusing. I didn't know who was who.

0:08:01 > 0:08:03You're lucky your lawyer knew the judge. >

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Can I please tell you my idea?

0:08:05 > 0:08:09I noticed a few weeks ago, a couple of doors down from

0:08:09 > 0:08:13the bank, there's a pizza joint that folded, a little hole in the wall.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16It's for rent, Frenchy.

0:08:16 > 0:08:20Then it hits me. I'm no genius, believe me.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22You don't have to sell me.

0:08:22 > 0:08:25I figure we tunnel under.

0:08:25 > 0:08:27We take the pizza joint, we tunnel under,

0:08:27 > 0:08:29we come up under the vault of the bank.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32I know the layout, cos I used to know a guard. I got diagrams.

0:08:32 > 0:08:35We clean out the vault, we go to Florida.

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Ray, we're poor, but we're happy.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40We're not happy, no. You're always complaining.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42Are you happy doing other people's cuticles?

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Is that the way you want to spend your life?

0:08:44 > 0:08:46My mother told me. She said, "Don't get involved

0:08:46 > 0:08:48"with a guy from the rackets."

0:08:48 > 0:08:51What's wrong with you? We had dreams.

0:08:51 > 0:08:54I don't know what's gotten into you. Did we not have dreams?

0:08:54 > 0:08:57When I first met you, yes, granted, I was in the rackets.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00I was running numbers. You were an exotic dancer.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02We fell in love. Your parents didn't approve.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05I tried to go legit. I couldn't make a go of the pet cemetery.

0:09:05 > 0:09:11What you want me to do? This pizza place is just waiting for us.

0:09:11 > 0:09:17It's gonna look suspicious, a group of guys drilling in an empty store.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19That's where you come in. You front the place.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22What?

0:09:20 > 0:09:22You front it. You make pizzas.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24With what? I can't cook pizzas.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26So you cook cookies. What's the difference?

0:09:26 > 0:09:29Or you tell fortunes. You look like a gypsy.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Or make it a travel agency.

0:09:31 > 0:09:34You work there and we'll tunnel under into the bank.

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Oh, God.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Frenchy, come here. You see this?

0:09:37 > 0:09:40See how beautiful this is?

0:09:40 > 0:09:43It's not just New Jersey. When we first met,

0:09:43 > 0:09:46there was a sunset just like this. Remember that?

0:09:46 > 0:09:50Yeah. In New Jersey. But in Colombia, there was an earthquake.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54Sorry, but the location was taken by someone else.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56What?

0:09:54 > 0:09:56They made a deal yesterday.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Told you, if you waited too long...

0:09:59 > 0:10:01Who took the place?

0:10:02 > 0:10:04You got the name?

0:10:04 > 0:10:07Mrs Nettie Goldberg.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Oh, Jesus. For what?

0:10:09 > 0:10:12I believe a flower shop.

0:10:12 > 0:10:13A flower shop!

0:10:15 > 0:10:17It's a little old lady.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19Her husband died recently.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21She wants to make the joint into a flower shop.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24That don't make no difference. Somebody's still got to get to her.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24Get to her and what?

0:10:24 > 0:10:26Beg her, con her, trick her.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29I know - I'm gonna go to her shop and threaten her.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30No, you can't threaten her.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32< Yeah, then we're dead. Don't do that.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35I've got to figure a way to talk to her.

0:10:35 > 0:10:39What are you gonna say if her husband just died? You need a plan.

0:10:39 > 0:10:41I've gotta figure something. I'll charm her.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43What are you gonna use for charm?

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Will you knock it off? We're trying to be serious.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Some master plan. You don't even have the lease.

0:10:48 > 0:10:50I'm gonna get the lease. That's what this is about.

0:10:50 > 0:10:55You guys are gonna rob a bank and some little old lady has the joint first. What a hoot.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57Very funny.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00I'm gonna slam your head off.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Hey!

0:11:01 > 0:11:04Jesus.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04The bank isn't even next to the pizza joint.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05I told you that before.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08That's what's great about it.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Why?

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Because there's nothing suspicious.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13The only thing suspicious is your sanity.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16And when did any of you guys dig a tunnel?

0:11:16 > 0:11:17It's no big deal.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20You really underestimate Ray's personality.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23He's one of the most likeable dishwashers I've ever met.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25Don't pay any attention to her.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27We're gonna proceed.

0:12:04 > 0:12:05Yeah?

0:12:05 > 0:12:09I'm looking for Nettie Goldberg.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Who wants her?

0:12:11 > 0:12:13I've got something for her. I want to make her

0:12:13 > 0:12:16a big offer, big dough, big dough.

0:12:19 > 0:12:20Come here.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28I'm Nettie Goldberg.

0:12:28 > 0:12:29I know you.

0:12:29 > 0:12:34You're Benny from Cell Block 8.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36Oh, God, Ray. Ray.

0:12:36 > 0:12:37Ray, how are you?

0:12:37 > 0:12:39You were looking at me like I'm a stranger.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41I'm sorry, come on in.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45This is a small world. You took the lease on an empty store? Yeah.

0:12:45 > 0:12:46I'm gonna open up a flower shop.

0:12:46 > 0:12:51What the hell are you gonna do with a flower shop?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Burn it down.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51What do you mean, "burn it down"?

0:12:51 > 0:12:53< Are you still burning stuff down for insurance?

0:12:53 > 0:12:59I burn everything. That's how I sent two kids through college.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59That's crazy. There's no money in that.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Benny, you've got to come in with us. >

0:13:02 > 0:13:03Who's us?

0:13:03 > 0:13:06What do you mean, "Who's us?" Why are you so suspicious?

0:13:06 > 0:13:07You don't trust me?

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Remember my nickname in the joint?

0:13:09 > 0:13:13The Brain?

0:13:10 > 0:13:13The Brain. That's what the guys used to call me.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Ray, that was sarcastic.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17It wasn't sarcastic, that was real.

0:13:17 > 0:13:18No, it was sarcastic.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20There was nothing sarcastic about it.

0:13:20 > 0:13:21Really, it was.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23It was real. I was The Brain.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25It was sarcastic.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27It wasn't sarcastic.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29Oh my God, oh my God.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31It was sarcastic!

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Fellas, this is Benny. He's in.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Benny. Looks like a cop to me.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37How are you doing?

0:13:37 > 0:13:39Good, nice to meet you.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41You know you're working with a genius?

0:13:40 > 0:13:41I told him that.

0:13:41 > 0:13:45We're all smart, but he wears glasses.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48What's good? Pine, right?

0:13:48 > 0:13:53Oak.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53Redwood is what the woodpeckers peck on. It's meant to be the strongest.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55That makes good trees.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58This looks good. This is good stuff.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00Look how long it is. We could build a house with this.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02Yeah, we're just building a tunnel.

0:14:02 > 0:14:03Whoa, whoa.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Or like a house.

0:14:04 > 0:14:05A house, yeah.

0:14:04 > 0:14:05This is good stuff.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07How much is that?

0:14:07 > 0:14:091,000 bucks.

0:14:09 > 0:14:121,000 bucks a box, Jesus. How many sticks in a box?

0:14:12 > 0:14:1350. >

0:14:13 > 0:14:16My God, this is robbery.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18This is unbelievable.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20What do we need all this dynamite for anyway?

0:14:20 > 0:14:23What you mean, "What do we need the dynamite for?" Just keep care of it.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Could I have one of these and one of these?

0:14:44 > 0:14:46OK.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49One of these? One of these, OK. Do you want a bag?

0:14:49 > 0:14:51No, that's OK.

0:14:50 > 0:14:51I haven't got a bag. I could find...

0:14:51 > 0:14:54I can't find a bag. You'll take them like this? OK.

0:14:54 > 0:14:59It's gonna be a lot of work, but when it's over, we're gonna be all very well compensated.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Who's gonna work the drill?

0:15:01 > 0:15:02What do you mean?

0:15:02 > 0:15:05I don't know how to work a drill like that.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07There's nothing to that.

0:15:07 > 0:15:12Whoever is gonna work the drill, it's gonna make a lot of noise.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15What do you think this is? This is why I get the big dough.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17We wrap this blanket around it, it's fine.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19You've got to know how to work a drill like that.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23DRILL STARTS

0:15:20 > 0:15:23Whoa, take it easy. Turn it off!

0:15:23 > 0:15:24I can't hear you!

0:15:27 > 0:15:31Would you guys shut up? What did you do, tear a wall down?

0:15:31 > 0:15:32We ain't started yet.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36What do you mean you, ain't started yet? What are you waiting for, the drilling season?

0:15:36 > 0:15:39Do me a favour, go upstairs and bake, will ya?

0:15:40 > 0:15:42I don't need any help.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43< Have you got it?

0:15:43 > 0:15:45< You'd better brace me.

0:15:45 > 0:15:46OK, OK.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52What are you doing?!

0:15:55 > 0:15:57Get that thing. Get that thing!

0:16:08 > 0:16:11What are you doing?! I'm getting outta here.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15SHOUTING

0:16:15 > 0:16:18Could we have half a dozen of the chocolate cinnamon?

0:16:18 > 0:16:20We're closed. For Easter.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22That was three months ago.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23Greek Easter.

0:16:23 > 0:16:24That was two months ago.

0:16:24 > 0:16:25Chinese Easter. We're closed, OK.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27I'd like a cookie for my daughter, please.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Honey, what kind do you want?

0:16:29 > 0:16:30All right, all right.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33Have a cookie, take a cookie.

0:16:33 > 0:16:34Here you go.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36How are you doing?

0:16:34 > 0:16:36Oh, hi.

0:16:35 > 0:16:36Are you still open?

0:16:36 > 0:16:39Yeah, sure. Sure.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39BANGING AND CRASHING

0:16:39 > 0:16:40Give me two cherry cinnamon.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Cherry cinnamon, right.

0:16:42 > 0:16:43New here, huh?

0:16:43 > 0:16:45Just opened today, yeah.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47What's all that noise in the back?

0:16:47 > 0:16:49That's the cookie press.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51It needs oil.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53There's a slight leak.

0:16:53 > 0:16:54This is the plumber.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57I'm the plumber. There's a tiny leak. Excuse me.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59What do I owe you?

0:16:58 > 0:16:59No charge, no charge.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00Thanks a lot. Take it easy.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03I've got to get some sandbags.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05The cookies are 85 cents.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Somebody get the sandbags.

0:17:08 > 0:17:09Just relax, you're a perfect fit.

0:17:09 > 0:17:10Where the hell are the sand bags?

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Just relax.

0:17:13 > 0:17:17OK, so we got off to a shaky start.

0:17:17 > 0:17:18I'd say it was shaky.

0:17:18 > 0:17:22There's gonna be glitches, no question. So what?

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Tomorrow, bring a bathing suit.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28I'm not discouraged, cos I don't get discouraged. >

0:17:28 > 0:17:32There was a woman on before, she's got over 200 pairs of shoes.

0:17:32 > 0:17:36You're gonna get yours, I promise you. You're gonna be fine.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39This time in a month or two, we'll be in Miami. It'll be great.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42A patron of the arts.

0:17:42 > 0:17:43Don't that sound great?

0:17:43 > 0:17:45Opening night at the opera.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48I love you, Frenchy. I love you.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50You know why? Cos you back me all the time.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53Because you stand by me. You know when I first knew I loved you?

0:17:53 > 0:17:55This was a long time ago.

0:17:55 > 0:17:59I taught you how to open a safe by moving the tumblers and listening

0:17:59 > 0:18:02to the tumblers. And you got it.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04You're a very romantic man.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07And I'm a very lucky woman, because not many wives get to see

0:18:07 > 0:18:10their husbands battling a ruptured water main.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13Crazy about you.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Crazy about you, darling.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Here, Benny.

0:18:17 > 0:18:18Put it in the bag.

0:18:17 > 0:18:18I'll give it to you.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20He puts it in the bag.

0:18:20 > 0:18:21Right, so it don't make no noise.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25This is efficiency.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Hurry up.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25What the hell are you guys... Why are you putting it in his shovel?

0:18:25 > 0:18:28He puts it in the bag.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28It's called efficiency.

0:18:27 > 0:18:28Teamwork.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31What are you doing?

0:18:29 > 0:18:31Saves energy.

0:18:33 > 0:18:34I'll take a chocolate chip. >

0:18:34 > 0:18:37Yeah. Little girl, you were first. What do you want?

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Chocolate fudge.

0:18:39 > 0:18:40OK. You can only have two.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43What are you stopping for?

0:18:43 > 0:18:45I'm trying to figure this out.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49I think, according to this, we're supposed to take a left turn.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51That doesn't mean stop. Let's go.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54What the hell are you doing?

0:18:54 > 0:18:55What do you mean, "What am I doing?"

0:18:55 > 0:18:57You got your hat on backwards.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59Yeah, so?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59What do you mean, "So?"

0:18:59 > 0:19:01The flashlight goes in the front.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Yeah, but it looks cooler like this.

0:19:03 > 0:19:08What are you, a jerk? What do you mean, "It looks cooler"?

0:19:05 > 0:19:08It's a lot more stylish. Look at that.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10You think so?

0:19:10 > 0:19:13Yeah, turn it around. It's chic like this. Look at that.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15That's cool.

0:19:15 > 0:19:16You got a mirror?

0:19:16 > 0:19:18I don't got a mirror. That looks good.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21Look at yourself, that looks good. I'll show you when we get out.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Can you keep going, please?

0:19:23 > 0:19:25All right, I'm trying to figure the map out.

0:19:25 > 0:19:29One, two. OK, everybody, hold on.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32That's 1.70. Thank you very much, thank you, thank you.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35OK, yeah.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38< What are you guys gonna do with your share?

0:19:38 > 0:19:40How much is my share?

0:19:40 > 0:19:43I figure it's got to be 2 million.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45I'm counting the jewellery in there too.

0:19:45 > 0:19:50Divided four ways, that's half a million bucks apiece.

0:19:50 > 0:19:51What about Frenchy?

0:19:51 > 0:19:53What about Frenchy, she's just a front.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55But without Frenchy, we're dead.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58We could get any broad to sell cookies.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00I say she gets a share, but not a full share.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02I'd go for that.

0:20:02 > 0:20:06What if we each get a fourth and she gets a third?

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Are you nuts? Then she'd be getting more than us.

0:20:08 > 0:20:09How do you figure?

0:20:09 > 0:20:13Where are you gonna get four fourths and a third? Can't you add?

0:20:13 > 0:20:14I don't do fractions.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Let's not get greedy over here.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19Remember that movie with Humphrey Bogart where they're digging

0:20:19 > 0:20:22for gold in the mountains and they find the gold and all get rich?

0:20:22 > 0:20:25Then this guy goes nuts and turns on his friends. Let's not let that happen here.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28He's right. Then he gets killed by these Hispanics.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30What is it? The Treasure Of...

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Treasure Island.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Treasure Island, that's right! That was a good movie.

0:20:33 > 0:20:34The best.

0:20:34 > 0:20:36OK, folks, here's the deal.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38I'm out of cookies, OK?

0:20:40 > 0:20:42The next batch is gonna be another two minutes,

0:20:42 > 0:20:44so that's the way the cookie crumbles. OK?

0:20:44 > 0:20:46I've got one cookie left.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49You know who's gonna eat this? You know who's gonna eat this? Me.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51I've gotta put on help. >

0:20:51 > 0:20:53Help?

0:20:53 > 0:20:55I can't handle the volume. >

0:20:55 > 0:20:58A second person, you want to put on?

0:20:58 > 0:21:01I can't help it. The cookies are selling.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Gee, I never counted on that.

0:21:03 > 0:21:06You've got to manage it somehow.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09What about my cousin May. We can trust her.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13May's a dodo. I'm gonna bring a dodo into a master plan? >

0:21:13 > 0:21:15She's not a squealer.

0:21:15 > 0:21:18She's not a squealer, but then we'll have to cut her in. >

0:21:18 > 0:21:21The pot's getting smaller and smaller.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24I can't cook and sell at the same time. It's a madhouse.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26We'll get caught.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29Wait a minute. You know what we could do.

0:21:29 > 0:21:34We could hire May and not tell her what we're doing.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36She'll never catch on.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40We're making enough dough from the cookies to pay her.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42Absolutely. We give her a small salary,

0:21:42 > 0:21:45she'll never catch wise to anything.

0:21:45 > 0:21:50If you think Denny and Tommy are slow, your cousin May is dumb

0:21:50 > 0:21:52like a horse or a dog.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Maybe it's not such a great idea.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58No, I think we could do it.

0:21:58 > 0:21:59Where are we?

0:21:59 > 0:22:00We're supposed to be here.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Excuse me. Where's the sugar? >

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Frenchy wants more sugar.

0:22:05 > 0:22:09May, stop bothering us. We're busy here.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12I just don't understand about the drilling.

0:22:12 > 0:22:13I told you.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16Business is good. We're expanding.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18We're expanding a little restaurant and a teashop,

0:22:18 > 0:22:22so people could eat the cookies and drink a little tea.

0:22:22 > 0:22:25Where are they gonna drink the tea, in the tunnel?

0:22:25 > 0:22:28I'd explain it, but you've got to understand engineering.

0:22:28 > 0:22:29What's engineering?

0:22:29 > 0:22:32May, do me a favour. Business is good. We're expanding.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34That's all you've gotta know.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36How can you expand? There's a nail shop next door?

0:22:36 > 0:22:38- We made a deal. We offered them big money.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40So you're expanding into the nail shop?

0:22:40 > 0:22:43May, get your stuff. You want the sugar?

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Take a hike. Get the sugar and go.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48We'll call you.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50This broad's big trouble.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52You think it's safe having that strange broad around here?

0:22:52 > 0:22:53Don't worry, she's harmless.

0:22:53 > 0:22:57We made a wrong turn. I don't think we're still headed to the bank.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Please! Give me the map.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01What are you talking about?

0:23:01 > 0:23:03For God's sakes.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06This is fine. I don't know what you're all in a dither about.

0:23:06 > 0:23:09You're holding it upside down.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11I am?

0:23:11 > 0:23:13You were reading this map upside down all along?

0:23:13 > 0:23:17Get off my back. Can I help it if they print these things like this?

0:23:17 > 0:23:20OK, thank you very much.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23I've got to get another plate of the cherry.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25Can I help you? Who's next?

0:23:25 > 0:23:26I'm coming right back.

0:23:26 > 0:23:30Can I get two cherry cinnamon? How are you doing?

0:23:30 > 0:23:32We're doing something right.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33Sure, two cherry cinnamons.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37You're new here?

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Not really. This is my first day.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40These are the greatest cookies I ever tasted.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Really? We're expanding.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43No kidding.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45There are some guys in the back

0:23:45 > 0:23:48working right now. We've got to tunnel under the nail shop.

0:23:48 > 0:23:49Really?

0:23:49 > 0:23:51Did you try the pecan fudge?

0:23:51 > 0:23:55We were just talking about what an instant success this place is.

0:23:55 > 0:23:56I was telling him about the restaurant.

0:23:56 > 0:23:57What restaurant?

0:23:57 > 0:24:00The tea room. The guys in the back tunnelling

0:24:00 > 0:24:02for the tea room under the nail shop.

0:24:02 > 0:24:03What tea room? What are you talking about?

0:24:03 > 0:24:05The tea room in the back.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07May, come, come.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Coming through, coming through.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10We're at the Sunset Bake Shop, where the lines wait patiently for what

0:24:10 > 0:24:14some people are calling the most fabulous cookie treat in New York.

0:24:14 > 0:24:15What the hell is going on here?

0:24:15 > 0:24:18And you are the heart and soul of Sunset Cookies, Miss...

0:24:18 > 0:24:20Frenchy Winkler.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23My real name's Frances, but everybody calls me Frenchy.

0:24:23 > 0:24:28As one stands here, one can inhale the aroma of hot chocolate,

0:24:28 > 0:24:32cinnamon, fresh cherries and a dozen other mouth-watering taste treats.

0:24:32 > 0:24:36Is it true customers wait on line for half-an-hour for a single cookie?

0:24:36 > 0:24:38That you had to ration sales?

0:24:38 > 0:24:40It happened once.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42What are you making all the fuss about?

0:24:42 > 0:24:45Where did you learn the rare secret of your baking?

0:24:45 > 0:24:47I don't know. It's the only thing I can cook.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50That and linguini with turkey meat balls.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Sir, how would you describe your cookie?

0:24:53 > 0:24:56I don't know. It's baked with nutmeg or something.

0:24:56 > 0:24:58I just know it's great.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02I just wanna say that we're expanding and there are men in the back right now tunnelling...

0:25:02 > 0:25:05May, May, get back!

0:25:05 > 0:25:09I can't take this. We don't want this kind of attention.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Don't look at me, I didn't hire a publicity agent. They just showed up.

0:25:12 > 0:25:16I know, but it's putting us in the toilet. I can't concentrate.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18There's people up there demanding cookies every day.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Today, Denny got bit by a rat.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22We had to give him rabies shots.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25Who, the rat?

0:25:23 > 0:25:25Very funny, you should be on TV.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28I am! Open your eyes!

0:25:28 > 0:25:29I don't like this.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31Come on, you've been digging for weeks.

0:25:31 > 0:25:34When are you gonna get somewhere? How much longer?

0:25:34 > 0:25:37It's complicated. We keep getting lost.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39The other day, I was deep in the tunnel, my hat went out.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41That stupid coalminer's hat?

0:25:41 > 0:25:44That's right. It's a life-saver, that hat, that bulb.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46We'd have done better just with a cookie store.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48We're making good dough.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Hey. Making good dough.

0:25:50 > 0:25:52It's a cookie store, but we're making dough.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55That's very... It's a cookie store and we're making dough.

0:25:55 > 0:25:56I get it, I get it.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29I knew we were going the wrong way. I knew it.

0:26:29 > 0:26:30What the hell are we doing in a dress shop?

0:26:30 > 0:26:32It's your fault, you got the map.

0:26:32 > 0:26:33All right. At least it's a Sunday.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35We can patch this up and get outta here.

0:26:35 > 0:26:37How are we gonna patch it up?

0:26:36 > 0:26:37We tile it and we get out.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Hello! I'm not a tiler.

0:26:39 > 0:26:42We don't have any tiles.

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Where do you get cement from in the middle of a dress shop?

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Besides, Brain,

0:26:44 > 0:26:48how are we gonna close the hole and tile it? We're inside the store.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50How do we get out?

0:26:50 > 0:26:52You tile it from... He's got a point.

0:26:52 > 0:26:54You can't tile this from the other side.

0:26:54 > 0:26:55No, you can't.

0:26:55 > 0:27:00This is very discouraging, guys. I'm ready to pack this in.

0:27:00 > 0:27:01Everybody freeze.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06Hey, Ray, your wife's cousin talks too much.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Sorry to spoil your expansion plans, fellas.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12Officer, listen to me.

0:27:12 > 0:27:13We didn't do anything yet.

0:27:13 > 0:27:18It's true, we were gonna rob the bank, but we screwed up everything.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Except for the cookie shop.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22The cookie shop's doing great.

0:27:22 > 0:27:26You like the cookies. Let us forget everything we were gonna do

0:27:26 > 0:27:29and just concentrate on the cookie store.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32Look, I'm not here trying to ruin anybody's life.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Then give us a break.

0:27:34 > 0:27:37Think I could get a piece of the action.

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Yeah, I'm not opposed to paying off the cops.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42It's a standard business expense.

0:27:42 > 0:27:44I don't want you to think of it as a pay-off.

0:27:44 > 0:27:49I'm qualified to make what I believe is a major contribution to this whole enterprise.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52My brother-in-law majored in business.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54Let us hear this contribution.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56One word.

0:27:56 > 0:27:59Yeah, and that word is?

0:27:59 > 0:28:01Franchise.

0:28:08 > 0:28:14We got about 600 trucks and we're all over the country and Canada.

0:28:14 > 0:28:17We make a lot of different cookies now. Whatever you want.

0:28:17 > 0:28:20We got pistachio, pretzels.

0:28:20 > 0:28:23We make chicken chip cookies, tuna mint.

0:28:23 > 0:28:25Virtually overnight, the Winklers

0:28:25 > 0:28:30and their associates have gone from a small, modest mom-and-pop cookie shop

0:28:30 > 0:28:33to something approaching a baking empire.

0:28:33 > 0:28:35This is where we package everything.

0:28:38 > 0:28:42The cookies have a wonderful smell, a fresh smell.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44That's all put on with a chemical spray.

0:28:44 > 0:28:45We do that over here.

0:28:45 > 0:28:47There's certainly no denying

0:28:47 > 0:28:50that he's refreshingly down to earth for a corporate executive,

0:28:50 > 0:28:54so offbeat that Sunset Farms has captured the imagination

0:28:54 > 0:28:56of the public and the industry.

0:28:56 > 0:28:59We wanted to find out what the competition thinks, so we went to

0:28:59 > 0:29:02Paul Milton of American Cookies.

0:29:02 > 0:29:04The bottom line is they make a great product.

0:29:04 > 0:29:06You have what the public wants

0:29:06 > 0:29:09and everything else takes care of itself.

0:29:09 > 0:29:10This is your office?

0:29:10 > 0:29:12This is where I operate.

0:29:12 > 0:29:14Frenchy decorated this place.

0:29:14 > 0:29:16You can tell.

0:29:16 > 0:29:19She's got all her stuff here.

0:29:19 > 0:29:20This is an antique.

0:29:20 > 0:29:23It's Louis the... I dunno.

0:29:23 > 0:29:26Louis XIV or Luis XV, you know.

0:29:26 > 0:29:31I dunno how high the Louis go but it's a top Louis.

0:29:31 > 0:29:35Frenchy stuck a TV in it, because she's got a creative...

0:29:35 > 0:29:37She's a creative decorator.

0:29:37 > 0:29:40Very original. How much are you worth?

0:29:40 > 0:29:42Plenty, plenty.

0:29:42 > 0:29:44How much? Just between you and me.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46A lot, a lot.

0:29:46 > 0:29:48We're worth a lot of dough. Whatever you see is antiques.

0:29:48 > 0:29:51This thing here, this is from...

0:29:51 > 0:29:53I don't remember exactly. I think it's the renaissance

0:29:53 > 0:29:56or Magna Carta or something. That's where it's from.

0:29:56 > 0:29:59Why did you decide to go into baking so late in life?

0:29:59 > 0:30:02Frenchy, we found out, can make cookies.

0:30:02 > 0:30:07The Frenchy they're talking about, reigning culinary genius of Sunset,

0:30:07 > 0:30:10is Frances Fox, who happens to be the wife of the CEO.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13< You made cookies your whole life

0:30:13 > 0:30:15< and everybody told you how delicious they were?

0:30:15 > 0:30:17I thought they were BSing me.

0:30:17 > 0:30:18Really?

0:30:18 > 0:30:20Somebody gives you something they cooked,

0:30:20 > 0:30:24you always say you enjoyed it even if it makes you throw up afterwards.

0:30:24 > 0:30:25So, you know.

0:30:25 > 0:30:28In a day and age where everyone seems to have public relations handlers,

0:30:28 > 0:30:31it's hard to imagine a corporate brain trust that is more

0:30:31 > 0:30:35direct and less image-conscious than the group at Sunset Farms.

0:30:35 > 0:30:37Each person we met seemed more

0:30:37 > 0:30:41eccentric than the last, like Tommy Walker, the chairman of the board.

0:30:41 > 0:30:43Frenchy makes the best cookies in the world.

0:30:43 > 0:30:45We're very proud of her cookies.

0:30:45 > 0:30:47< What are your duties as chairman of the board?

0:30:47 > 0:30:52The board meets once or twice a week and we think up important issues like that.

0:30:52 > 0:30:56< Issues?

0:30:52 > 0:30:56Facts, problems, things like that. Normal stuff.

0:30:56 > 0:30:59What kind of problems does an overnight success like Sunset Farms face?

0:30:59 > 0:31:01What kind of problems? Last week, the toilet

0:31:01 > 0:31:03on the fourth floor wouldn't flush.

0:31:03 > 0:31:06It flushed, but the water kept coming to the top.

0:31:06 > 0:31:09So the board voted on getting a plumber.

0:31:09 > 0:31:13One of the architects of Sunset Farms' unorthodox marketing strategy

0:31:13 > 0:31:16is the head of advertising, Denny Doyle.

0:31:16 > 0:31:17He's a former truck driver.

0:31:17 > 0:31:19Was it you who came up with the idea to advertise

0:31:19 > 0:31:23the baked goods in Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler magazine.

0:31:23 > 0:31:27If a guy is staring at a naked piece of tail, and he sees the breasts

0:31:27 > 0:31:29and legs, he's gonna start to salivate.

0:31:29 > 0:31:32It's human nature. If he's salivating, he turns

0:31:32 > 0:31:36the page and comes across a picture of our pistachio cream cookies,

0:31:36 > 0:31:39he thinks maybe that's why he's drooling. Understand?

0:31:39 > 0:31:41It's psychology. It's science.

0:31:41 > 0:31:43It's like Pablo's Theory.

0:31:43 > 0:31:44With the dog, when he feeds him.

0:31:44 > 0:31:47Pablo?

0:31:45 > 0:31:47Pablo, with the dogs.

0:31:47 > 0:31:51Then there's ex-police officer Ken de Loach, vice-president in charge

0:31:51 > 0:31:54of distribution. And Benjamin Borkowski,

0:31:54 > 0:31:56vice-president in charge of plant safety.

0:31:56 > 0:32:00The first thing I did was make sure the building was fireproof.

0:32:00 > 0:32:04Lest they be accused of being a mostly male club, May Sloane is in

0:32:04 > 0:32:07charge of public relations and physical therapy.

0:32:07 > 0:32:11< I understand public relations, but physical therapy?

0:32:11 > 0:32:15All the chocolate chips are put in the cookies by hand

0:32:15 > 0:32:18and that's really hard on the back and leg muscles.

0:32:18 > 0:32:20I do deep massage.

0:32:20 > 0:32:23She's also a vice-president.

0:32:23 > 0:32:24There you have it, a brief glimpse

0:32:24 > 0:32:27into a corporate culture that has industry leaders

0:32:27 > 0:32:31and management analysts all over the country scratching their heads,

0:32:31 > 0:32:34trying to figure out what Sunset Farms might try next.

0:32:34 > 0:32:36But it may be as simple as what Paul Milton,

0:32:36 > 0:32:38the Winklers' chief competitor, said.

0:32:38 > 0:32:41You've got something the American public wants,

0:32:41 > 0:32:43everything else falls into place.

0:32:43 > 0:32:48Or as we in television might say, there's no accounting for the public's taste.

0:32:54 > 0:32:58OK, keep coming through with the stuff.

0:32:58 > 0:32:59It's better the way I had it.

0:32:59 > 0:33:02Darling, could you put the doll there by the ceramic zebra.

0:33:02 > 0:33:05< Mrs Winkler? You wanted to check the menu.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07Right. Stevens, could you bring that piece downstairs

0:33:07 > 0:33:11that Mr Winkler hates and try to get it next to the fireplace.

0:33:11 > 0:33:13I want a lot of nuts and crudites.

0:33:13 > 0:33:16What did we say for openers? Oh, yes, snails.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19Escargots, yes. Then the potato and truffle salad?

0:33:19 > 0:33:22Yes, truffles by all means, but I hate those thin pieces.

0:33:22 > 0:33:25When you shave it, go, go, lay it on big time.

0:33:25 > 0:33:28Truffles are always shaved really finely.

0:33:28 > 0:33:30Naturally, I didn't mean to suggest anything over done.

0:33:30 > 0:33:33Then we have the poached sea bass in filo.

0:33:33 > 0:33:37And spinach souffle and salad and dessert.

0:33:37 > 0:33:38And finger bowls.

0:33:38 > 0:33:41There's nothing being served that requires finger bowls.

0:33:41 > 0:33:46But have them - you can never predict whose fingers will need a washing.

0:33:43 > 0:33:46Did you rearrange this place again?

0:33:46 > 0:33:48All right, hold your water. >

0:33:48 > 0:33:52Don't tell me to hold my water. Every night it's like I'm walking into a strange house.

0:33:52 > 0:33:55What is this thing? Did I tell you to get rid of this?

0:33:55 > 0:33:57It's a harp. You've got no flair.

0:33:57 > 0:34:00Don't tell me I've got no flair. Nobody plays the harp.

0:34:00 > 0:34:02Who plays it? What's it doing in the middle of the living room?

0:34:02 > 0:34:04I like the visual sweep.

0:34:04 > 0:34:07I don't know what's gotten into your head.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10You're so hoity-toity.

0:34:10 > 0:34:13They're my cookies pays for this, so turn it off.

0:34:13 > 0:34:17What's for dinner? Don't tell me it's gonna be little sparrows

0:34:17 > 0:34:18on a bed of lettuce again,

0:34:18 > 0:34:22because I don't care if I never had anything on a bed of lettuce again.

0:34:22 > 0:34:25They're pheasants and you ate them last week.

0:34:23 > 0:34:25And I got BBs in my mouth.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27I almost choked on a BB.

0:34:27 > 0:34:29Can I get a cheeseburger? Is that possible?

0:34:29 > 0:34:32Are you forgetting? It's the dinner party tonight.

0:34:33 > 0:34:36Great. Just when I got a lot on my mind.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38Your mind don't hold a lot. Get dressed

0:34:38 > 0:34:40and don't forget it's tuxedos.

0:34:40 > 0:34:42I'm hungry. I don't want to get dressed now.

0:34:42 > 0:34:44You want a snail?

0:34:44 > 0:34:46Are you nuts? I'm gonna have a snail?

0:34:46 > 0:34:48Come on, you eat steamers.

0:34:48 > 0:34:52A snail leaves a little trail of scum in the yard when it walks.

0:34:52 > 0:34:54Not in France they don't.

0:34:54 > 0:34:59What happened to turkey meatballs and spaghetti? That's what I like.

0:34:59 > 0:35:02Have a potato and truffle thing, that'll hold you till the company comes.

0:35:02 > 0:35:05I don't want truffles. Truffles got no flavour.

0:35:05 > 0:35:08They're subtle. Only pigs can find them.

0:35:08 > 0:35:13You're thinking of pearls. They come in oysters, that's what that is.

0:35:13 > 0:35:16Take a hike.

0:35:14 > 0:35:16You're such an ignoramus. It's what I love about you.

0:35:16 > 0:35:18Pearls come in oysters.

0:35:18 > 0:35:23Ray, Ray, Ray! Please, don't spoil my big night.

0:35:23 > 0:35:24What's so big about tonight?

0:35:24 > 0:35:27There's a lot of important people coming from the arts

0:35:27 > 0:35:29and I wanna get on some of those boards.

0:35:29 > 0:35:32- We donate. You'll be on the boards. - But I wanna be a patron.

0:35:32 > 0:35:34You wanna be a socialite.

0:35:34 > 0:35:37Is that so terrible? >

0:35:37 > 0:35:40When we talked about making it, we were gonna hit it big,

0:35:40 > 0:35:44move to Florida, swim, eat stone crabs.

0:35:44 > 0:35:46We can get a place in Palm Beach.

0:35:46 > 0:35:48Palm Beach is ritzy.

0:35:48 > 0:35:52I want to go to Miami and be at the dog track every day.

0:35:52 > 0:35:54I just know I wanna be as far away

0:35:54 > 0:35:58from Frenchy Fox the topless wonder as I can be.

0:35:58 > 0:36:01You were beautiful as Frenchy Fox.

0:36:01 > 0:36:05Remember, Night Train, you'd give it a little of this, a little of that.

0:36:05 > 0:36:06Those days are over.

0:36:06 > 0:36:08Our accountants want us to expand.

0:36:08 > 0:36:10We're gonna be twice as big next year.

0:36:10 > 0:36:14What good is being twice as big if I can't get a cheeseburger?

0:36:14 > 0:36:17Ray, please, be charming tonight.

0:36:17 > 0:36:21I've seen you when you wanna turn on the charm. You sparkle.

0:36:21 > 0:36:22All right.

0:36:22 > 0:36:24I gotta go.

0:36:26 > 0:36:30MUSIC: "VOICES OF SPRING" by Johann Strauss II

0:36:37 > 0:36:41Good evening. Good evening, welcome to our humble little abode.4

0:36:41 > 0:36:44I'm Charles Bailey. This is my wife, Emily.

0:36:44 > 0:36:45How are you doing?

0:36:45 > 0:36:47David Burnett.

0:36:47 > 0:36:48Hello. How are you doing?

0:36:48 > 0:36:50Can I get you drinks?

0:36:50 > 0:36:52Just some Evian. Unless you have Perrier.

0:36:52 > 0:36:55We've got anything you want. Whatever you want, you can have.

0:36:55 > 0:36:57I usually take just tap water, cos the fluoride

0:36:57 > 0:37:00keeps your teeth from rotting. Otherwise they'll drop right out.

0:37:00 > 0:37:02Hey, look at this.

0:37:02 > 0:37:07Hello. So glad you could attend our humble abode.

0:37:07 > 0:37:10We just got back, didn't want to miss the new Traviata.

0:37:10 > 0:37:12Have you seen it?

0:37:12 > 0:37:13No, not yet.

0:37:13 > 0:37:15Nor have I. Exactly what is it?

0:37:15 > 0:37:18Why are we standing around in the hall?

0:37:18 > 0:37:22Please let's retire to the living room.

0:37:22 > 0:37:25I gather you're a big fan of the ballet.

0:37:25 > 0:37:27Her, are you kidding?

0:37:27 > 0:37:32I used to be a dancer, but please call me French...uh, Frances. Frances Fox-Winkler.

0:37:32 > 0:37:33The Foxes from Saratoga?

0:37:33 > 0:37:36I don't know, I never checked my pedigree.

0:37:38 > 0:37:40Can we change the music please?

0:37:40 > 0:37:42Why?

0:37:40 > 0:37:42I feel like I should be wearing a wig.

0:37:42 > 0:37:43You will be in a couple of years.

0:37:43 > 0:37:45Did you do the place yourself?

0:37:45 > 0:37:50Yes. They say I have a flair for decorating. This rug lights up.

0:37:50 > 0:37:53It lights?

0:37:51 > 0:37:53It's made of fibre optics.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55I'll turn it on later.

0:37:55 > 0:37:57Stevens, what's with the snails?

0:37:57 > 0:37:59DOORBELL RINGS

0:37:59 > 0:38:02Why don't I get the door and you show them

0:38:02 > 0:38:04your collection of leather pigs.

0:38:04 > 0:38:05Right, go.

0:38:05 > 0:38:07Do you play the harp, Frances?

0:38:07 > 0:38:10No, it's a visual, honey.

0:38:10 > 0:38:11The sweep kills me.

0:38:11 > 0:38:14Finally. Girls, come on.

0:38:15 > 0:38:17Hey, how're you doing? Come on in.

0:38:17 > 0:38:19Right there.

0:38:19 > 0:38:21Honey, toots, in there.

0:38:21 > 0:38:23Shake it, they're in the other room.

0:38:23 > 0:38:25Scott Steinway.

0:38:25 > 0:38:27What?

0:38:25 > 0:38:27Scott Steinway.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29I'm Anthony Gwynn.

0:38:29 > 0:38:31No kidding? Tony Gwynn?

0:38:31 > 0:38:33You're the outfielder with the Padres.

0:38:33 > 0:38:37Our goal is to raise 2 million by April, then the company can tour

0:38:37 > 0:38:39the West Coast and include the new opera,

0:38:39 > 0:38:41which has gotten such good notices.

0:38:41 > 0:38:44Count me in. I love serious music.

0:38:44 > 0:38:48Ray, on the other hand, opera freaks him.

0:38:48 > 0:38:50Have you tried your finger bowl?

0:38:50 > 0:38:53A guy says to him, "What do you do for a living?"

0:38:53 > 0:38:56He says, "I'm a mumbak."

0:38:56 > 0:38:58"What's a mumbak?"

0:38:58 > 0:39:02He says, "I stand behind a truck and say mumbak, mumbak."

0:39:03 > 0:39:07He stands behind the truck and goes, "Mumbak, mumbak."

0:39:10 > 0:39:12I think it's too fast for her.

0:39:12 > 0:39:15Mumbak. He says, "Mumbak".

0:39:15 > 0:39:19I do think they overpaid for the Picasso.

0:39:19 > 0:39:22For me, it was unusually mediocre.

0:39:22 > 0:39:24I agree.

0:39:24 > 0:39:27Excuse me, I have to go find my wife.

0:39:27 > 0:39:32I saw a beautiful painting of fruit at the Met or the Whitney.

0:39:32 > 0:39:35It might have been the Holocaust.

0:39:35 > 0:39:36Are you affiliated with any...

0:39:36 > 0:39:38I'm a private dealer.

0:39:38 > 0:39:43Oh. We have one or two paintings, but I haven't really gotten around

0:39:43 > 0:39:45to building a collection yet.

0:39:45 > 0:39:49What are you interested in?

0:39:49 > 0:39:52Rembrandt, Picasso, Michelangelo.

0:39:52 > 0:39:54You know, the boys.

0:39:54 > 0:39:58I think I might be out of Michelangelos at the moment,

0:39:58 > 0:40:01but I did recently come into possession

0:40:01 > 0:40:05of an incredible Damon Dexter that someone's trying to sell. Is he...

0:40:05 > 0:40:07I don't think I'm aware of him.

0:40:07 > 0:40:10No, well, he's new.

0:40:10 > 0:40:15I have to say, your wine is absolutely delicious. Really.

0:40:15 > 0:40:18It was chosen by the same chef who did the finger bowls.

0:40:18 > 0:40:19Have you rinsed?

0:40:19 > 0:40:23David used to be part owner of a vineyard, so he's a tough audience.

0:40:25 > 0:40:27Did you study art at school?

0:40:27 > 0:40:30No, I didn't. I often think I should have done.

0:40:30 > 0:40:32I studied literature.

0:40:32 > 0:40:35Then, inevitably, wound up as a stockbroker.

0:40:35 > 0:40:40Then I dropped out, went to Japan, became a Buddhist, blah, blah, blah.

0:40:40 > 0:40:45Then I did teach art at Amherst for a bit. Then the vineyard.

0:40:45 > 0:40:49What a life, and you're still so young.

0:40:49 > 0:40:51Don't let the face fool you, somewhere in a closet,

0:40:51 > 0:40:53there's a portrait of me ageing.

0:40:53 > 0:40:55In the closet?

0:40:55 > 0:40:58Why would it be in the...

0:40:58 > 0:41:01Oh, how droll.

0:41:01 > 0:41:04Did you hear about the Polish car pool?

0:41:04 > 0:41:06Every day, they'd meet at work.

0:41:08 > 0:41:10I can't believe this room.

0:41:10 > 0:41:12It takes bad taste to new heights.

0:41:12 > 0:41:14This is excruciating. >

0:41:16 > 0:41:19Can you believe the two of them? I can't keep a straight face. >

0:41:19 > 0:41:21And what she's done with this apartment, >

0:41:21 > 0:41:23the sheer flawless vulgarity. >

0:41:23 > 0:41:25She must have been frightened by a leopard. >

0:41:25 > 0:41:27Don't knock it. I think they plan on being very generous, >

0:41:27 > 0:41:28and for that, we must be thankful. >

0:41:28 > 0:41:30Really? And what about the harp? >

0:41:30 > 0:41:33Not to mention the way she wears her clothes. >

0:41:33 > 0:41:35The definition of bad taste. >

0:41:38 > 0:41:40I never saw so much jewellery.

0:41:40 > 0:41:45It makes me sad that I don't have to steal any more. Really.

0:41:45 > 0:41:48What's the matter, honey, you've been quiet all night?

0:41:48 > 0:41:49What's bothering you?

0:41:49 > 0:41:52What's bothering me is that we've got no class.

0:41:52 > 0:41:55Speak for yourself, I was very charming tonight.

0:41:55 > 0:41:57I was killing them with the jokes.

0:41:57 > 0:42:01I got a little drunk from the wine, so I went to sit down in the bar.

0:42:01 > 0:42:03Some of them were in there talking about us.

0:42:03 > 0:42:05You should have heard 'em. And they were right.

0:42:05 > 0:42:09Stop it. We got more dough than all of them put together.

0:42:09 > 0:42:12It ain't dough. It's knowing the finer things.

0:42:12 > 0:42:14Like what? Like opera?

0:42:14 > 0:42:17Like food, wine, painting and books.

0:42:17 > 0:42:19Stop! I'm unimpressed.

0:42:19 > 0:42:23All my life I've been ignorant. I could never afford to learn anything.

0:42:23 > 0:42:24There was always some emergency.

0:42:24 > 0:42:26And I was a good student before I had a...

0:42:26 > 0:42:29I was a lousy student and I always hated school. I don't care about it.

0:42:29 > 0:42:32If I could find my school principal today, now that I've got some dough,

0:42:32 > 0:42:34I'd put a contract out on her.

0:42:34 > 0:42:38Class is something you can't fake and you can't buy.

0:42:38 > 0:42:41I got more class in my little finger than they all got combined.

0:42:41 > 0:42:46No, we came into a couple of bucks, but we're phoneys.

0:42:46 > 0:42:47We're trying to act like big shots.

0:42:47 > 0:42:50Not me.

0:42:48 > 0:42:50Well, me. But it's over.

0:42:50 > 0:42:53The time has come to use our dough to amount to something.

0:42:53 > 0:42:54Like what?

0:42:54 > 0:42:57To change our lives.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59I'm too busy to change my life.

0:42:59 > 0:43:01Doing what? Playing pinball?

0:43:01 > 0:43:03I don't wanna wear a tux any more.

0:43:03 > 0:43:06I don't like it. I wanna go to Florida and swim.

0:43:06 > 0:43:09I wanna be the real thing and you'd better wise up, because if I grow

0:43:09 > 0:43:13and you stay as stupid as you are, we're gonna have big problems, Ray.

0:43:21 > 0:43:25So, smarten you up. Is that what you said?

0:43:25 > 0:43:28Yeah. You said you were a teacher.

0:43:28 > 0:43:31You know art, opera, books, wine.

0:43:31 > 0:43:33We wanna learn it all, don't we?

0:43:33 > 0:43:37I'm incredibly flattered that you'd think I was capable of...

0:43:37 > 0:43:40Turning two slugs like us into classy items?

0:43:40 > 0:43:45No homework. I never did homework when I was young, I'm not doing

0:43:45 > 0:43:47anything that's got homework to it.

0:43:47 > 0:43:50Naturally, we would make it very worth your while, David.

0:43:50 > 0:43:54No, it's absolutely not about money. It's just that

0:43:54 > 0:43:57I've never been asked to do anything quite like this.

0:43:57 > 0:44:00I'm not sure I'd know where to start.

0:44:00 > 0:44:03I know I got to get a better vocabulary.

0:44:03 > 0:44:07Have you ever thought about enrolling in college?

0:44:07 > 0:44:08College? I didn't to go to high school.

0:44:08 > 0:44:10What the hell am I gonna go to college for?

0:44:10 > 0:44:13That takes four years. We want a private crash course.

0:44:13 > 0:44:15Lessons in life.

0:44:15 > 0:44:18Am I crazy? She's nuts. She's nuts.

0:44:18 > 0:44:19Tell her she's nuts.

0:44:19 > 0:44:22I'm gonna learn about life suddenly?

0:44:22 > 0:44:25I must say, I think Ray has a point.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27He could probably teach me a lot more about life

0:44:27 > 0:44:30than I could ever teach you.

0:44:30 > 0:44:32What the hell's he gonna teach?

0:44:32 > 0:44:34I can figure the point spread.

0:44:34 > 0:44:36I know how to count cards at a blackjack table.

0:44:36 > 0:44:40- Would you close your bazoo? - I can count four jacks. - Would you close your bazoo?!

0:44:40 > 0:44:42< I don't want to be discouraging,

0:44:42 > 0:44:44< because what you're proposing is pretty admirable.

0:44:44 > 0:44:50Yes.

0:44:45 > 0:44:50I would like to learn how to spell Connecticut. Don't ask me why.

0:44:50 > 0:44:52I never knew how to spell Connecticut.

0:44:52 > 0:44:54Fair enough, great. You could teach him that, right?

0:44:54 > 0:44:55< Yeah.

0:44:55 > 0:44:59I heard you telling somebody this is a very slow period in the art market

0:44:59 > 0:45:02and we would take very good care of you.

0:45:02 > 0:45:07Like I say, I absolutely don't want to discourage you.

0:45:07 > 0:45:09I suppose I just have to think about it a bit.

0:45:09 > 0:45:13If I could envisage a plan, some kind of starting point.

0:45:13 > 0:45:16We could start by building our art collection.

0:45:16 > 0:45:20That way, you'd make a few bucks and we can learn something.

0:45:20 > 0:45:23But no museums. I'm not going to museums.

0:45:23 > 0:45:26The pictures spook me out.

0:45:26 > 0:45:27Those virgins.

0:45:27 > 0:45:29(LAUGHS)

0:45:29 > 0:45:31What are you laughing at?

0:45:33 > 0:45:36I'm sorry.

0:45:34 > 0:45:36Work on the laugh, Frenchy.

0:45:36 > 0:45:42You can see the difference between this Tintoretto and the earlier

0:45:42 > 0:45:45Byzantine painting we looked at.

0:45:45 > 0:45:49What would you say is the most significant difference?

0:45:49 > 0:45:52I would say the frame's bigger here.

0:45:54 > 0:45:58Yeah, it is bigger, but there's also a difference

0:45:58 > 0:46:00in the paintings themselves.

0:46:00 > 0:46:03It's a really important difference, cos it characterises

0:46:03 > 0:46:05the great technical leap

0:46:05 > 0:46:08from the ancient into the modern world.

0:46:08 > 0:46:12You remember how all those saints had very flat faces

0:46:12 > 0:46:14and the background was on the same plane as the foreground?

0:46:14 > 0:46:18Perspective.

0:46:15 > 0:46:18Right, perspective.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21Let me show you another very good example of that.

0:46:24 > 0:46:27"The frame on this one is bigger"?

0:46:27 > 0:46:28Boy, you are a dummy.

0:46:28 > 0:46:30Don't give me "perspective".

0:46:30 > 0:46:33Take a hike, will you? Take a hike.

0:46:33 > 0:46:3528.

0:46:35 > 0:46:38- Four.- Levoxyl.- 51.

0:46:39 > 0:46:42U-ni-ty.

0:46:42 > 0:46:4687. 19.

0:46:46 > 0:46:47MOANING

0:46:47 > 0:46:53- Four.- Red-du-tem-puh.

0:46:53 > 0:46:58SCREECHING

0:47:01 > 0:47:02I'm hungry. Can we get outta here?

0:47:02 > 0:47:05You're always hungry. Why don't you try and learn something?

0:47:05 > 0:47:06There's nothing to learn.

0:47:06 > 0:47:09Listen, interesting fact. This is where Henry James lived.

0:47:09 > 0:47:12Who?

0:47:09 > 0:47:12The band leader, stupid.

0:47:12 > 0:47:13The man who married Betty Grable.

0:47:13 > 0:47:17Yes, yes.

0:47:14 > 0:47:17No, no, you're thinking of Harry James, the trumpeter.

0:47:17 > 0:47:20I'm talking about Henry James, the author.

0:47:22 > 0:47:27- This is where he lived and worked. - Where'd he eat? I'm hungry.

0:47:27 > 0:47:29I don't care where he lived. I wanna know where he ate.

0:47:29 > 0:47:31The H-eiress, right?

0:47:31 > 0:47:32The H is silent.

0:47:32 > 0:47:35Oh, did he write that too?

0:47:38 > 0:47:41Frenchy, I'm still sick.

0:47:41 > 0:47:45I'm weak, I'm weak, I can't go.

0:47:45 > 0:47:48You're gonna miss a very interesting great books discussion.

0:47:48 > 0:47:50I know, it kills me.

0:47:50 > 0:47:52It just kills me, but I can't.

0:47:52 > 0:47:54I'll see you when you come back.

0:48:10 > 0:48:13- Hello.- Hello.- Nice to see you.

0:48:13 > 0:48:15Ray's got a cold.

0:48:16 > 0:48:18I bet 500.

0:48:18 > 0:48:19500?

0:48:19 > 0:48:21I see your five and raise you 500.

0:48:21 > 0:48:22I'm outta here.

0:48:22 > 0:48:25I see your five and a thou.

0:48:25 > 0:48:29What do you think of the book?

0:48:29 > 0:48:31I thought it was very romantic.

0:48:31 > 0:48:35He loved her, but their backgrounds were so different.

0:48:35 > 0:48:37Right.

0:48:37 > 0:48:39So you thought it was doomed from the start?

0:48:39 > 0:48:45I guess, cos he wound up dead, but I think that

0:48:45 > 0:48:49two people from different backgrounds can make it

0:48:49 > 0:48:51if the juice is there.

0:48:51 > 0:48:54Right. Sorry, juice is...?

0:48:54 > 0:48:56You know, hots.

0:48:56 > 0:48:59Right.

0:48:59 > 0:49:01Wine, would you like some wine?

0:49:01 > 0:49:04I brought over a bottle of Chateau Margaux.

0:49:04 > 0:49:07That's brilliant, because we can compare that to my Clos de la Roche,

0:49:07 > 0:49:10and you can see the difference between a Bordeaux and a Burgundy.

0:49:10 > 0:49:13I've got two other Burgundies of the same vintage

0:49:13 > 0:49:15that I thought it might be fun for us to try.

0:49:15 > 0:49:18I see your five and raise a thou.

0:49:20 > 0:49:22I'll see it and raise you 1, 000 more.

0:49:24 > 0:49:26And 1,000.

0:49:26 > 0:49:28And 1,000.

0:49:28 > 0:49:29OK, call.

0:49:29 > 0:49:32Read them and weep, a pair of threes.

0:49:32 > 0:49:35Oh. I thought you were bluffing.

0:49:35 > 0:49:37What do you wanna play now?

0:49:37 > 0:49:40What about Indian poker?

0:49:40 > 0:49:43Seven cards, you hold your cards over your head,

0:49:43 > 0:49:45nobody sees their hand. We bet on each other's hands.

0:49:45 > 0:49:49High, low, maybe some wild cards. All the reds.

0:49:49 > 0:49:50Sit down, May.

0:49:50 > 0:49:51How about Old Maid?

0:49:51 > 0:49:53What the hell does that mean?

0:49:52 > 0:49:53Shall we play Old Maid?

0:49:56 > 0:49:58Try this one.

0:49:57 > 0:49:58OK.

0:50:02 > 0:50:04Nice nose.

0:50:04 > 0:50:06The bouquet is very special.

0:50:06 > 0:50:09No, I mean you've got a nice nose.

0:50:09 > 0:50:10Me?

0:50:10 > 0:50:12Yeah.

0:50:12 > 0:50:15I don't know how to describe it. It's like a...

0:50:15 > 0:50:17It's just any old nose.

0:50:17 > 0:50:19Aquiline.

0:50:19 > 0:50:23Talking of which, how is your vocabulary coming on?

0:50:23 > 0:50:27Very good. I'm almost through all the A words in the dictionary.

0:50:27 > 0:50:30Right.

0:50:30 > 0:50:33I'm not 100% convinced that memorising the dictionary

0:50:33 > 0:50:35is the best way to improve your vocabulary.

0:50:40 > 0:50:43I can't believe you found a buyer for the Damon Dexter so fast,

0:50:43 > 0:50:46and such a good price. It'll really take a bite out of our debts.

0:50:47 > 0:50:49Oliver, it's dawning on me

0:50:49 > 0:50:55that the opportunity has arisen for me to become quite obscenely rich.

0:50:55 > 0:50:57How serious are they about building an art collection?

0:50:57 > 0:50:59It's not that. That would be peanuts.

0:50:59 > 0:51:01What, then?

0:51:01 > 0:51:04I think that she might be falling for me.

0:51:04 > 0:51:06Frenchy Winkler?

0:51:06 > 0:51:08How much do you think she's worth?

0:51:08 > 0:51:10Her husband, you mean?

0:51:10 > 0:51:12No, it's all in her name.

0:51:12 > 0:51:14She's the cookie mogul.

0:51:14 > 0:51:16What are you saying?

0:51:16 > 0:51:18I suppose I'm saying that

0:51:18 > 0:51:24people grow and marriages sadly break up and women remarry.

0:51:24 > 0:51:27Fortunes, they change hands.

0:51:29 > 0:51:30What is this?

0:51:30 > 0:51:32It's a Damon Dexter.

0:51:32 > 0:51:34A discovery of David's.

0:51:34 > 0:51:35I say it's depressing.

0:51:35 > 0:51:39Knock it off. You wouldn't know a masterpiece if it bit you in the ass.

0:51:39 > 0:51:41I refuse to look at this.

0:51:41 > 0:51:42What is that supposed to mean?

0:51:42 > 0:51:45It means as long as this is on our wall, I don't look at that wall.

0:51:45 > 0:51:47You're a headcase.

0:51:47 > 0:51:51- I'll bet David made a big profit on this. - Hey, Whose cookies pay the rent?

0:51:51 > 0:51:53I think he's making a fool out of you.

0:51:53 > 0:51:57Stevens, tell me what time it is, cos I no longer look at this wall.

0:51:57 > 0:51:5811am, sir.

0:51:58 > 0:52:00Thank you very much.

0:52:12 > 0:52:14David, what's this?

0:52:14 > 0:52:17That's a citrine necklace.

0:52:17 > 0:52:19- Do you know about citrines?- No.

0:52:19 > 0:52:22They're not one of the precious stones, but the lustre's always

0:52:22 > 0:52:24been considered very special and unique.

0:52:24 > 0:52:26And that? Look!

0:52:26 > 0:52:30Ah. Well, if we're talking about lustre, this is something very special,

0:52:30 > 0:52:33and I would imagine very expensive.

0:52:33 > 0:52:38It's a cigarette case encrusted with diamonds that belonged to the Duke of Windsor.

0:52:38 > 0:52:40I know the Duke of Windsor.

0:52:40 > 0:52:44He also married beneath his station, right?

0:52:44 > 0:52:46He did. Like our friend Henry Higgins.

0:52:46 > 0:52:49The Duke and Duchess. Such a romantic story.

0:52:49 > 0:52:51I saw it on television.

0:52:51 > 0:52:52- Uh-huh?- Uh-huh.

0:53:04 > 0:53:06Ray. Ray!

0:53:07 > 0:53:09What are you doing here?

0:53:09 > 0:53:12I'm having Chinese food.

0:53:12 > 0:53:14That's what they serve in a Chinese restaurant.

0:53:14 > 0:53:16Do you want some company?

0:53:16 > 0:53:17Who?

0:53:17 > 0:53:20What do you mean, "Who?" Who's talking to you? Me.

0:53:20 > 0:53:22But where's Frenchy?

0:53:22 > 0:53:25Frenchy's at a concert - some piano concert with a guy.

0:53:25 > 0:53:26Oh.

0:53:26 > 0:53:30Well, they have take-out here, but I don't think they'll deliver to a concert.

0:53:30 > 0:53:33Don't worry about it, May, Frenchy'll eat.

0:53:33 > 0:53:38MUSIC: "Prelude in B minor opus 32, No.10" by Rachmaninov

0:53:47 > 0:53:50Dinner was so great, May.

0:53:50 > 0:53:54All the MSG and the grease, what a treat.

0:53:54 > 0:53:58I'm so sick of Continental food every night.

0:53:58 > 0:54:00Frenchy eats frogs' legs!

0:54:00 > 0:54:02They're supposed to taste like chicken.

0:54:02 > 0:54:03Rabbit.

0:54:03 > 0:54:06Rabbit tastes like frogs' legs?

0:54:06 > 0:54:08No...Forget it, forget it.

0:54:08 > 0:54:10Are you happy being rich?

0:54:10 > 0:54:13It's OK. I got a lot of charge accounts

0:54:13 > 0:54:16and I got a really, really nice apartment and a maid.

0:54:16 > 0:54:18I'm still a little lonely though.

0:54:18 > 0:54:20Yeah? How come?

0:54:20 > 0:54:23That guy I was seeing left me because he was

0:54:23 > 0:54:27so embarrassed about being poor and he hated that I paid for everything.

0:54:27 > 0:54:29Then I stopped paying.

0:54:29 > 0:54:31Actually, that's when he left me.

0:54:31 > 0:54:33I can understand you.

0:54:33 > 0:54:35Do you enjoy being rich?

0:54:35 > 0:54:36I hate it.

0:54:36 > 0:54:37You're kidding?!

0:54:37 > 0:54:39No, I hate it. I hate the life.

0:54:39 > 0:54:41It's causing me to lose Frenchy.

0:54:41 > 0:54:43What do you mean?

0:54:43 > 0:54:45I mean she's outgrowing me.

0:54:45 > 0:54:48She's like a different person now.

0:54:48 > 0:54:52I think she's developing a crush on that teacher, David.

0:54:52 > 0:54:54Yeah, well, he's very good-looking

0:54:54 > 0:54:58and really bright and charming and very elegant.

0:54:58 > 0:55:00OK, May, I got the picture.

0:55:00 > 0:55:03You really know how to make a guy feel good.

0:55:03 > 0:55:04When you're right, you're right.

0:55:04 > 0:55:06Thank you.

0:55:06 > 0:55:09What did you think of her playing?

0:55:09 > 0:55:12I thought the whole evening was apocalyptic.

0:55:12 > 0:55:13Apocalyptic, really?

0:55:13 > 0:55:16Totally. I really was agog.

0:55:16 > 0:55:18Me, too. She's fabulous.

0:55:18 > 0:55:23She's fabulous. I have to asseverate she deserves accolades.

0:55:23 > 0:55:28Frances, you've been memorising the dictionary, haven't you?

0:55:25 > 0:55:28Yeah, I got the As. Next week, the Bs.

0:55:28 > 0:55:30How do I look?

0:55:30 > 0:55:34I have to say that that dress is just gorgeous on you.

0:55:34 > 0:55:38See, your influence. Low-key, right?

0:55:38 > 0:55:40That's a very flattering thing to say.

0:55:40 > 0:55:42Ray thinks it's Dullsville.

0:55:42 > 0:55:44David?

0:55:44 > 0:55:47Wasn't the choice of the Rachmaninov inspired?

0:55:47 > 0:55:48Yeah, we loved it.

0:55:48 > 0:55:51At first, I thought it might incur my animadversion, but

0:55:51 > 0:55:53soon I realised it was apposite.

0:55:53 > 0:55:55I think I see drinks at last.

0:55:55 > 0:55:57Good to see you, David.

0:55:57 > 0:55:58Nice meeting you.

0:55:58 > 0:55:59Thank you. Thank you very much.

0:55:59 > 0:56:01I love your friends.

0:56:01 > 0:56:06They're so bright and cultured and refined. It's another world.

0:56:06 > 0:56:09It's a world I know you'd love to belong to.

0:56:09 > 0:56:11This looks a lot more civilised.

0:56:11 > 0:56:13Beautiful.

0:56:12 > 0:56:13Let's take a seat.

0:56:13 > 0:56:18Anything we get, Cody's in for his full share.

0:56:18 > 0:56:19That's how it is.

0:56:19 > 0:56:22You know why I respect Cody Jarrett?

0:56:22 > 0:56:25Why?

0:56:23 > 0:56:25Because he loves his mother.

0:56:25 > 0:56:27I understand that, May.

0:56:27 > 0:56:30Even though he's a vicious, cold-blooded psychopathic killer

0:56:30 > 0:56:33and she encourages him, it's sweet.

0:56:33 > 0:56:35It has a sweetness, because I wish I had a mother like that.

0:56:35 > 0:56:37Yeah. More Pepsi?

0:56:36 > 0:56:37Yeah, please.

0:56:37 > 0:56:39This is the best part.

0:56:39 > 0:56:41I love this part.

0:56:41 > 0:56:42Yeah.

0:56:42 > 0:56:44Will you pass me the Cracker Jack?

0:56:48 > 0:56:50What are you looking at?

0:56:50 > 0:56:52I happened to be noticing you.

0:56:52 > 0:56:54I was looking at you a couple of times tonight.

0:56:54 > 0:56:56For the first time, I had the thought that,

0:56:56 > 0:56:59in a very, very strange way,

0:56:59 > 0:57:01you've got a sweet face.

0:57:01 > 0:57:04It's offbeat, in a kind of bizarre...

0:57:04 > 0:57:09I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it's right up there.

0:57:09 > 0:57:10What do you mean?

0:57:10 > 0:57:12I mean it as a compliment.

0:57:12 > 0:57:15I'm trying to say a nice thing.

0:57:15 > 0:57:19You being a relative of Frenchy, I never before classified you

0:57:19 > 0:57:22as a human-type female. So...

0:57:22 > 0:57:23I was married.

0:57:23 > 0:57:25I know. It was a long time ago, right?

0:57:25 > 0:57:29It was a really tragic story, cos my husband, Otto,

0:57:29 > 0:57:33was dyslexic and the only thing he could spell correctly was his name.

0:57:33 > 0:57:34Oh. That's a...

0:57:37 > 0:57:41There's no doubt about it, the Burgundy really goes to my head.

0:57:41 > 0:57:43What do you want to talk to me about?

0:57:45 > 0:57:48I've, um...

0:57:48 > 0:57:50I've got a little present for you.

0:57:50 > 0:57:51For me?

0:57:51 > 0:57:53Here.

0:57:53 > 0:57:54Oh, pretty!

0:57:54 > 0:57:57I love leather books.

0:57:57 > 0:58:00Oh, Pygmalion. I love that story.

0:58:00 > 0:58:03There's a little inscription there.

0:58:03 > 0:58:07To my favourite Eliza, from your Professor Higgins, love David.

0:58:07 > 0:58:09Gee, I got a confession to make.

0:58:09 > 0:58:11What?

0:58:09 > 0:58:11I got you a present too.

0:58:11 > 0:58:14Oh, no, you didn't have to do that.

0:58:14 > 0:58:17It's in appreciation of all the stuff you've been doing for me,

0:58:17 > 0:58:18cos I know it's a hard job.

0:58:18 > 0:58:21Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

0:58:21 > 0:58:23Frenchy...

0:58:23 > 0:58:24Frances!

0:58:24 > 0:58:29Frances, this is... It must have cost you a fortune!

0:58:29 > 0:58:33What good's having dough unless you spend it?

0:58:33 > 0:58:36But this is so extravagant.

0:58:36 > 0:58:37I'm embarrassed.

0:58:37 > 0:58:40I'm not suggesting you take up smoking, but I figured,

0:58:40 > 0:58:44if it's good enough for the Duke of Windsor, right?

0:58:44 > 0:58:46I'm really overwhelmed.

0:58:46 > 0:58:48My little pathetic Bernard Shaw

0:58:48 > 0:58:51is so insignificant in comparison to this.

0:58:51 > 0:58:53But I just...

0:58:53 > 0:58:56I just wanted you to know how unbelievably proud I am of you.

0:58:56 > 0:58:59David, this is not insignificant.

0:58:59 > 0:59:02Maybe I'm talking out of turn here, but...

0:59:02 > 0:59:06you've developed so much.

0:59:06 > 0:59:11I feel that you belong in a world of society and high culture now.

0:59:11 > 0:59:14It's frustrating, because you should continue growing.

0:59:14 > 0:59:17You should be branching out, travelling.

0:59:17 > 0:59:21Paris and Rome and the great opera houses and museums.

0:59:21 > 0:59:25You should be in a position to cultivate the right kind of friends.

0:59:25 > 0:59:27Anyway, I...

0:59:28 > 0:59:30It's hard, because Ray's not like that.

0:59:30 > 0:59:35He likes to watch TV in his underwear, sucking a Bud.

0:59:35 > 0:59:38Yeah. I don't know what to say.

0:59:38 > 0:59:40I can't comment on that.

0:59:41 > 0:59:43Can I be frank, David?

0:59:43 > 0:59:45M-hm.

0:59:45 > 0:59:47Sometimes, I think I've outgrown him.

1:00:02 > 1:00:04Pretty late.

1:00:04 > 1:00:06Yeah, you too, what did you do?

1:00:06 > 1:00:10You know, I worked late, and then

1:00:10 > 1:00:13May and me had some Chinese food.

1:00:13 > 1:00:15What did you talk about over dinner, cartoons?

1:00:15 > 1:00:16What are you, kidding?

1:00:16 > 1:00:19We went up to her apartment. We watched White Heat on television.

1:00:19 > 1:00:21Until 3am?

1:00:21 > 1:00:23Then we went out and got a pizza.

1:00:23 > 1:00:25- Chinese food- and- a pizza?

1:00:25 > 1:00:29With your stomach, I'm surprised you weren't shot breaking into the Pepto-Bismol factory.

1:00:29 > 1:00:33I had fun. For the first time in a long time, I had a good time.

1:00:34 > 1:00:36I want to talk to you, Ray.

1:00:36 > 1:00:37Now?

1:00:37 > 1:00:41David's going over to Europe for a month, I thought we might go along,

1:00:41 > 1:00:42see some sights.

1:00:42 > 1:00:44What kind of sights?

1:00:44 > 1:00:47You know, churches, opera houses, ruins.

1:00:47 > 1:00:49What are you, a stroke victim?

1:00:49 > 1:00:53I'm gonna to fly 3,000 miles to see opera houses and ruins?

1:00:53 > 1:00:55Well, I wanna go.

1:00:54 > 1:00:55What do you mean, you wanna go?

1:00:55 > 1:00:57It's part of my cultural development.

1:00:57 > 1:01:00Will you knock it off? You're Frenchy Fox from New Jersey.

1:01:00 > 1:01:02Stop putting on airs.

1:01:02 > 1:01:06David thinks it would be good for me to travel through Europe.

1:01:04 > 1:01:06I get a bad vibe about this guy.

1:01:06 > 1:01:08Because you're a crook, so you think everybody is.

1:01:08 > 1:01:11I wish I still was a crook, then I'd feel like an actual person again.

1:01:11 > 1:01:18I warned you that this would happen if you didn't grow along with me.

1:01:14 > 1:01:18It's only your rear end that's grown, from too much French food.

1:01:18 > 1:01:20I'm sorry, Ray, but I wanna go to Europe.

1:01:20 > 1:01:22What do you mean, you wanna go to Europe?

1:01:22 > 1:01:25We're married. You can't just go to Europe with David.

1:01:25 > 1:01:30I asked you to come.

1:01:26 > 1:01:30Because you knew I'd say no. That's why you asked me. My idea of fun

1:01:30 > 1:01:33is not going to operas and ruins. I get enough sleep at home.

1:01:33 > 1:01:39I never thought I'd be saying this to you, but maybe the time has come to re-evaluate our marriage.

1:01:39 > 1:01:40If you go to Europe with David,

1:01:40 > 1:01:42you're gonna have to re-evaluate it big time.

1:01:42 > 1:01:45I'm going, Ray. I won't be held back mentally

1:01:45 > 1:01:47by some over-age juvenile delinquent.

1:01:47 > 1:01:49Then you'd better go get yourself a lawyer.

1:01:49 > 1:01:51We don't need lawyers.

1:01:51 > 1:01:54I'll go 50-50 with you, even though it's all in my name.

1:01:54 > 1:01:57You're right. We don't need lawyers. Because you don't have to go 50-50.

1:01:57 > 1:02:00I don't want anything, you can have the house,

1:02:00 > 1:02:02the business, you can have custody of all the chocolate chips.

1:02:02 > 1:02:05I just want out.

1:02:38 > 1:02:42You know, May, it was on a boat that I first proposed to Frenchy.

1:02:42 > 1:02:44Yeah, I know.

1:02:44 > 1:02:48All of a sudden I'm not her type after all these years.

1:02:48 > 1:02:50May I tell you something, Ray?

1:02:50 > 1:02:52What?

1:02:52 > 1:02:55You're not my type either.

1:02:55 > 1:02:58What does that mean? What the hell does that mean?

1:02:58 > 1:03:01It means that maybe Frenchy wasn't so wrong to try

1:03:01 > 1:03:02and make something out of herself.

1:03:02 > 1:03:06She was nuts. Frenchy overdid everything.

1:03:04 > 1:03:06Well, you underdo everything.

1:03:06 > 1:03:10There's more to life than turkey meatballs.

1:03:10 > 1:03:13I don't know. I don't know what to say. I get a bad vibe about

1:03:13 > 1:03:17this guy David. It's my street instinct. I just don't trust him.

1:03:17 > 1:03:20I know why! Because he's younger than you are,

1:03:20 > 1:03:24he's handsomer than you are, he's much taller than you are,

1:03:24 > 1:03:27he's smarter than you are, he's much more exciting than you are.

1:03:27 > 1:03:31Don't feel obligated to pull any punches with me. I can take it.

1:03:32 > 1:03:35Women like a little elegance.

1:03:35 > 1:03:40So if I had it to do over again, I would do some things differently.

1:03:40 > 1:03:43Maybe I'd sit through a couple more operas with Frenchy.

1:03:43 > 1:03:47Especially now since they've got the new Sony Walkmans.

1:03:47 > 1:03:50Now that you've split up with Frenchy you don't even work.

1:03:50 > 1:03:54I don't work, May, but I got an idea for something.

1:03:54 > 1:03:57I want to talk to you about it.

1:03:57 > 1:03:58Really?

1:04:09 > 1:04:11Wow. What a place.

1:04:11 > 1:04:14That's the home of Chi Chi Potter, the socialite.

1:04:14 > 1:04:16Chi Chi Velazquez Potter.

1:04:16 > 1:04:18Now, Chi Chi's got a necklace.

1:04:18 > 1:04:20It's all emeralds, with diamonds around it.

1:04:20 > 1:04:23It's a very famous necklace. Maybe you saw it in a magazine,

1:04:23 > 1:04:25cos they photographed it all the time.

1:04:25 > 1:04:26Would it have been on television?

1:04:26 > 1:04:28I don't know if it was on television,

1:04:28 > 1:04:31but it's been in magazines. It's a famous necklace.

1:04:31 > 1:04:33I want to go in there. I could live off that necklace,

1:04:33 > 1:04:35if I fence it, for the rest of my life.

1:04:35 > 1:04:38You've gotta remember what happened when you tunnelled into the bank.

1:04:38 > 1:04:41Yeah, but that's the beauty part, we don't have to tunnel any more.

1:04:41 > 1:04:44Now, Frenchy and I, we're patrons of the arts.

1:04:44 > 1:04:47Chi Chi invited us to a big party there in a couple of weeks.

1:04:47 > 1:04:51Frenchy's out of town, you come with me, we get the necklace.

1:04:51 > 1:04:54Oh, I see. I never heisted anything before.

1:04:54 > 1:04:56There's nothing to it. I know where the safe is.

1:04:56 > 1:04:58'This has been on my mind for a while.

1:04:58 > 1:05:01'I had dinner over there one night, and I excused myself.

1:05:01 > 1:05:05'I was very crafty, I went upstairs, and I checked out the place.

1:05:05 > 1:05:07'I scoped it all out and I found the safe.

1:05:07 > 1:05:09'I got the whole layout in my mind up there.

1:05:09 > 1:05:11'So I know we can do this.'

1:05:34 > 1:05:37I don't want to wind up in jail. If this is such a big item,

1:05:37 > 1:05:40they're going to be turning the town upside-down

1:05:40 > 1:05:41looking for it, aren't they?

1:05:41 > 1:05:44No, that's where you're dealing with a particularly shrewd mentality.

1:05:44 > 1:05:46I got a connection in Chinatown.

1:05:46 > 1:05:49I bring in a picture that I got from a magazine of the necklace.

1:05:49 > 1:05:51He makes me an exact duplicate.

1:05:51 > 1:05:54I switch. She never knows what happened.

1:05:54 > 1:05:59Chi Chi's a dumb, flighty society dame. She's crazy.

1:05:59 > 1:06:02By the time she figures out there's a switch, two years from now,

1:06:02 > 1:06:05I'll be in Florida or the Cayman Islands.

1:06:11 > 1:06:14MUSIC: "Sarabande from Suite No.2 in D Minor" by JS Bach

1:06:18 > 1:06:22CELL PHONE RINGS

1:06:24 > 1:06:27Hello. What?

1:06:27 > 1:06:29I can't hear you, what?

1:06:29 > 1:06:33Shh!

1:06:30 > 1:06:33I'm in a crypt. I can't... What do you mean?

1:06:34 > 1:06:37What are you talking about? How?

1:06:37 > 1:06:39Would you give me a break, sister, OK?

1:06:39 > 1:06:41- Today?- SHHH!

1:06:41 > 1:06:44What do you mean, it's an emergency?

1:06:52 > 1:06:54Oh, hi.

1:06:54 > 1:06:58Mrs Winkler? We're so sorry to bring you back from your vacation.

1:06:58 > 1:06:59Well, what the hell's going on?

1:06:59 > 1:07:01Frances, I have terrible news.

1:07:01 > 1:07:02Something happen to Ray?

1:07:02 > 1:07:05Sunset Enterprises is bankrupt.

1:07:05 > 1:07:07How?

1:07:06 > 1:07:07Fraud.

1:07:07 > 1:07:09Fraud, who?

1:07:09 > 1:07:11Your accountants.

1:07:11 > 1:07:14My accountants? I don't even know who they are.

1:07:14 > 1:07:16You should have looked.

1:07:16 > 1:07:18We let them handle everything.

1:07:18 > 1:07:21I mean, what the hell do I know about running a corporation?

1:07:21 > 1:07:24< Did you ever read anything you signed?

1:07:24 > 1:07:26No, but they assured us everything was OK.

1:07:26 > 1:07:29Mrs Winkler, may I get you a drink?

1:07:29 > 1:07:33I'd like a 1961 Romanee St Vivant, if we have it.

1:07:33 > 1:07:36I'd have a whisky if I were you.

1:07:36 > 1:07:41I don't understand, I mean, Sunset's gone? Can't we do anything?

1:07:41 > 1:07:45We might be able to put a few people in jail - if we could find them.

1:07:47 > 1:07:48This is the worst news.

1:07:48 > 1:07:51Oh, no, Mrs Winkler, it's not.

1:07:51 > 1:07:53No, well it is to me!

1:07:53 > 1:07:55No, no, the worst news is coming up.

1:07:57 > 1:08:00Oh, all right. All right.

1:08:00 > 1:08:03You better tell me.

1:08:03 > 1:08:05< They spoke to you about expanding Sunset.

1:08:05 > 1:08:08That's right, we've been planning it for months.

1:08:08 > 1:08:11In order to do that, you needed a bank loan. You're aware of that?

1:08:11 > 1:08:13Quite a substantial loan.

1:08:13 > 1:08:14Get to the point.

1:08:14 > 1:08:18They asked you to sign a promissory note to the bank.

1:08:18 > 1:08:20Darling, you're speaking to the wrong person.

1:08:20 > 1:08:22This is what I've got accountants for.

1:08:22 > 1:08:25Yes, but unfortunately, your accountants are in Venezuela.

1:08:27 > 1:08:28This is all so confusing.

1:08:28 > 1:08:32Frances, you put up your home and savings as a note for a monster loan.

1:08:34 > 1:08:37Could you put a touch of cyanide in here?

1:08:37 > 1:08:39It needs to be a little stronger.

1:08:39 > 1:08:41You've lost it all, Frenchy, or should I say,

1:08:41 > 1:08:43you've been swindled out of it all.

1:08:44 > 1:08:46You mean I got...

1:08:46 > 1:08:50Nothing, Mrs Winkler, you have nothing, no house, no bank account,

1:08:50 > 1:08:53just a couple of large outstanding loans

1:08:53 > 1:08:57which we feel you can best deal with by filing for bankruptcy.

1:08:57 > 1:08:59Bankruptcy? >

1:08:59 > 1:09:01I'm not up to the B words yet.

1:09:01 > 1:09:02Sorry.

1:09:02 > 1:09:04Does Ray know about this?

1:09:04 > 1:09:06What difference does it make to Ray? He's gone! >

1:09:25 > 1:09:27What did you say?

1:09:29 > 1:09:30I'm bankrupt. >

1:09:30 > 1:09:32Sunset's gone. >

1:09:32 > 1:09:35Worse, all my personal dough is gone. >

1:09:35 > 1:09:37The whole ride's over. >

1:09:37 > 1:09:40Well...

1:09:40 > 1:09:42How could that possibly happen?

1:09:42 > 1:09:45Fraud. My accountants.

1:09:45 > 1:09:49Ray said not to trust them because the whole firm had moustaches.

1:09:50 > 1:09:54I'm going to get myself a little Valium.

1:09:54 > 1:09:58David, I'm not going to be able to give you that loan I promised you.

1:09:58 > 1:10:00What? What did you say?

1:10:00 > 1:10:02Suddenly it turns out I've got people I owe.

1:10:02 > 1:10:04Yeah, but you did say I could borrow

1:10:04 > 1:10:07400,000. You know I was using it to cement a deal!

1:10:07 > 1:10:12I know, it kills me to cop out on you like this, but I'm busted, I'm flat.

1:10:12 > 1:10:13What an idiot.

1:10:13 > 1:10:15I guess I am, yeah.

1:10:15 > 1:10:20How could you be so stupid and irresponsible as to allow some

1:10:20 > 1:10:24patently cheap thieving accountants to defraud you out of a future?

1:10:24 > 1:10:27I just don't understand how anyone could be that stupid!

1:10:27 > 1:10:29Hey, aren't you a little out of line?

1:10:29 > 1:10:33Yeah, you know I'd made plans. I'd made commitments to people.

1:10:35 > 1:10:39You got a strange look in your eye, like the guy from the book.

1:10:39 > 1:10:43Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde, or Ted Bundy, I can never remember.

1:10:43 > 1:10:47To think of the time I've put in nurturing an idea that's not going to happen.

1:10:47 > 1:10:49Is that what it was? The money?

1:10:49 > 1:10:54I need my prescription. I need my little blue pill.

1:10:54 > 1:10:57I'm gonna go and get them, and I would very much appreciate it

1:10:57 > 1:10:59if when I came back you were gone.

1:10:59 > 1:11:01< Thank you.

1:11:02 > 1:11:04David, if you wouldn't mind,

1:11:04 > 1:11:07I'd like the cigarette case back that I gave you.

1:11:07 > 1:11:09I don't think so, my love.

1:11:09 > 1:11:12Wow.

1:11:12 > 1:11:15I asked you for lessons in life.

1:11:15 > 1:11:17I guess I really got one, right?

1:11:35 > 1:11:38Oh, we are so are glad you could come. How are you?

1:11:38 > 1:11:44Good.

1:11:39 > 1:11:44Laxton wants to talk to you about a theatre project in Aspen.

1:11:44 > 1:11:46Do you ski?

1:11:46 > 1:11:48Me, no, never.

1:11:48 > 1:11:51Do either of you play miniature golf?

1:11:51 > 1:11:52Oh, there's Minky!

1:11:52 > 1:11:53Hello.

1:11:53 > 1:11:55Oh, for heaven's sake!

1:11:56 > 1:11:59Mingle.

1:11:59 > 1:12:02I don't think you should speak. I don't think you should say anything.

1:12:02 > 1:12:03You said make conversation.

1:12:03 > 1:12:07I know, make conversation, but don't talk, don't speak.

1:12:07 > 1:12:08Don't bring up anything.

1:12:08 > 1:12:12Maybe about the weather or something, but don't...

1:12:12 > 1:12:16Now, I'm going to get in the flow of things, and then I'm going to glide upstairs.

1:12:16 > 1:12:17Shall I glide with you?

1:12:17 > 1:12:19No, I'll contact you.

1:12:19 > 1:12:21Can I get you some champagne?

1:12:21 > 1:12:23Sure.

1:12:38 > 1:12:39Ray! >

1:12:42 > 1:12:44I was going to make a phone call.

1:12:44 > 1:12:46Have you seen Edgar?

1:12:46 > 1:12:49I don't know where that man gets off to.

1:12:49 > 1:12:52I was going to make a phone call.

1:12:52 > 1:12:53I've looked downstairs...

1:12:53 > 1:12:54Try back there.

1:12:54 > 1:12:56I'll try that, thank you.

1:13:11 > 1:13:13Winkler.

1:13:13 > 1:13:14You play golf?

1:13:14 > 1:13:17Golf, no, I was just going to make a phone call upstairs.

1:13:17 > 1:13:20I guess I was misdirected.

1:13:20 > 1:13:23I was going to use the phone.

1:13:23 > 1:13:27Well, I wanted a match on Sunday, but I'll have to get somebody else.

1:13:27 > 1:13:29I would've looked forward to it.

1:14:52 > 1:14:55There'll be rain over the tri-state area and increasing fog.

1:14:55 > 1:14:59Temperatures will hover in the low 60s until Tuesday.

1:15:00 > 1:15:03I must say, you are most amusing.

1:15:03 > 1:15:09Would you like a canape? Those are shrimp and these are quail eggs.

1:15:09 > 1:15:11I don't have any idea what they are.

1:15:11 > 1:15:13Thank you, I hate anything with a toothpick.

1:15:13 > 1:15:16They lodge in your throat.

1:15:16 > 1:15:20I'm George Blint, mutual funds. And you?

1:15:20 > 1:15:23May Sloan. I'm a lookout.

1:15:23 > 1:15:25I noticed the way you walked

1:15:25 > 1:15:27and carried yourself from across the room.

1:15:27 > 1:15:31You remind me of my wonderful departed wife.

1:15:31 > 1:15:34You can't carry yourself across the room.

1:15:34 > 1:15:36That's physically impossible.

1:15:36 > 1:15:38(LAUGHS)

1:15:38 > 1:15:43You're charming. You know, you're the first woman I've met since Helen died that I can say that about.

1:15:43 > 1:15:47Was Helen your wife or just a woman who died?

1:15:52 > 1:15:56Hi, where's Mr Winkler? I wanted to talk to him.

1:15:56 > 1:15:59He's around, mingling.

1:15:59 > 1:16:00Cloudy today, wasn't it?

1:16:00 > 1:16:03With a chance of light sprinkles followed by sunshine.

1:16:03 > 1:16:06Chi Chi, would you get those photographs from the bedroom?

1:16:06 > 1:16:09I wanted to show Mr Winkler the property we have in Aspen for the theatre.

1:16:09 > 1:16:12Yes, I just want to talk to Dr Henske.

1:16:12 > 1:16:16I think he would be perfect to do Beth Kramer's face work,

1:16:16 > 1:16:20after the unbelievable job he did on Mrs Morton's buttocks.

1:16:20 > 1:16:21I'm going to be right back.

1:16:21 > 1:16:24Will you just...

1:16:29 > 1:16:32DOOR OPENS

1:16:37 > 1:16:38Ray.

1:16:38 > 1:16:40Jesus, you scared me!

1:16:40 > 1:16:42For God's sakes.

1:16:42 > 1:16:44I came to warn you.

1:16:44 > 1:16:47Mrs Potter is going to come up here to get some pictures that Mr Potter

1:16:47 > 1:16:50wants you to see. She's looking for you.

1:16:50 > 1:16:52Now, I've closed the safe! This is a tough safe.

1:16:52 > 1:16:55I'm out of practice, I can't...

1:16:55 > 1:16:57Did they see you come up here?

1:16:57 > 1:16:59I don't think so.

1:16:59 > 1:17:01Get out there and stand watch.

1:17:01 > 1:17:03I'm going to do this again.

1:17:03 > 1:17:05Are you OK?

1:17:05 > 1:17:08I'm fine, I'm fine, get out, get out!

1:17:08 > 1:17:11If you could fit it into your schedule

1:17:11 > 1:17:13it would mean so much to Beth.

1:17:13 > 1:17:16She has been so down since the divorce,

1:17:16 > 1:17:20and don't you think he got custody of the polo ponies!

1:17:20 > 1:17:22Chi Chi, don't forget those photographs for Mr Winkler.

1:17:22 > 1:17:24- Where'd he go?- I'll get them.

1:17:24 > 1:17:26So you will try?

1:17:26 > 1:17:27I'll do my best.

1:17:27 > 1:17:29Kiss kiss.

1:17:42 > 1:17:44Mrs Potter is coming!

1:17:55 > 1:17:58FOOTSTEPS

1:18:03 > 1:18:04She's gone.

1:18:04 > 1:18:07Shh, not so loud!

1:18:07 > 1:18:08She's gone.

1:18:08 > 1:18:11Thank you, dear, I wanna show those to Mr Winkler.

1:18:11 > 1:18:15He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, would he?

1:18:13 > 1:18:15I don't know, he's not upstairs.

1:18:15 > 1:18:16Jesus.

1:18:16 > 1:18:19I met a wonderful man downstairs.

1:18:19 > 1:18:20He seemed to like me.

1:18:20 > 1:18:24He said I reminded him of his wife, who's dead, but I presume

1:18:24 > 1:18:26he meant when she was alive.

1:18:26 > 1:18:30May, can you stop talking to me while I'm doing this?

1:18:30 > 1:18:34Little short fellow, bright yellow shirt, unbelievable tie.

1:18:34 > 1:18:37Ah yes, I think I know the gentleman.

1:18:37 > 1:18:40He was going up the stairs before.

1:18:40 > 1:18:41Are you sure?

1:18:41 > 1:18:43Yes, Mr Winkler.

1:18:52 > 1:18:54Ray, I hear something.

1:18:58 > 1:19:01She's not feeling well, I took her up here.

1:19:01 > 1:19:03She's having one of her spells.

1:19:03 > 1:19:04Spells?

1:19:04 > 1:19:06Yes, she gets spells.

1:19:04 > 1:19:06How extraordinary! We have a doctor.

1:19:06 > 1:19:08No, not necessary. She gets these spells...

1:19:08 > 1:19:10I'm a haemophiliac.

1:19:10 > 1:19:12Oh, dear God, are you bleeding?

1:19:12 > 1:19:13Why would I be bleeding?

1:19:13 > 1:19:14Her neck...

1:19:14 > 1:19:18But my nasal passages are clearing up now.

1:19:18 > 1:19:21I handle all this, on the weekends. I do this for a little hobby.

1:19:21 > 1:19:25She had champagne.

1:19:22 > 1:19:25Oh, you poor darling. I'll go and get Dr Henske.

1:19:25 > 1:19:28Ray, you have my cortisone pills?

1:19:28 > 1:19:30My medication?

1:19:30 > 1:19:33I would feel a whole lot better if I let Dr Henske take a look at her.

1:19:33 > 1:19:37No, you just relax. Put your feet up. I'll go and get Dr Henske.

1:19:38 > 1:19:42A haemophiliac? Cortisone? Where did you come up with these things?

1:19:42 > 1:19:43It's been on TV.

1:19:43 > 1:19:46The weather's on TV. I said stay with the weather!

1:19:46 > 1:19:50I thought I did some really quick thinking.

1:19:47 > 1:19:50Yes! Very quick! Meanwhile you're going to be examined now!

1:19:50 > 1:19:55Why? I just had a check-up.

1:19:52 > 1:19:55Jesus, I got no time to work here.

1:19:55 > 1:19:57They'll be back in seconds.

1:20:03 > 1:20:08I can't tell the difference between these.

1:20:06 > 1:20:08Then you'd better take them both.

1:20:08 > 1:20:11I can't take them both. If they come back and don't find any necklace,

1:20:11 > 1:20:15and we've been suspiciously seen in the bedroom, I'll go right to jail.

1:20:15 > 1:20:20Especially with your DNA.

1:20:17 > 1:20:20What has my DNA got to do with it?

1:20:20 > 1:20:23You'd better make a choice, cos they're gonna be back any minute.

1:20:37 > 1:20:38Ray, let's go!

1:20:44 > 1:20:48All I know is what I've told you, Doctor.

1:20:48 > 1:20:50She's right in here. Come along.

1:20:50 > 1:20:53Here's Dr Henske.

1:20:53 > 1:20:57What seems to be the trouble?

1:20:55 > 1:20:57False alarm, it was a hot flash.

1:20:57 > 1:21:01I think it was the menopausal thing. I've seen it before.

1:21:01 > 1:21:04I'm given to occasional spells.

1:21:03 > 1:21:04Spells?

1:21:04 > 1:21:06You know, she... Booze.

1:21:06 > 1:21:11No, no, sometimes for no good reason, I get hot and cold flashes,

1:21:11 > 1:21:12then the room begins to spin,

1:21:12 > 1:21:16then spots flash before my eyes, and I'll hear ringing in my ears.

1:21:16 > 1:21:19OK, you're making too much of it. We should go.

1:21:19 > 1:21:21Then little pinpoints of light,

1:21:21 > 1:21:23and my tongue turns black and I can't swallow.

1:21:23 > 1:21:26Really?

1:21:24 > 1:21:26They diagnosed it as Parkinson's,

1:21:26 > 1:21:29but they think it could be the Ebola virus or mad-cow disease.

1:21:29 > 1:21:33We've gotta get out of here, because it was a false positive, I think.

1:21:33 > 1:21:35Come on, sweetheart, we're due.

1:21:35 > 1:21:36I do hope you feel better.

1:21:36 > 1:21:39Not to worry, Mr Winkler, the theatre in Aspen

1:21:39 > 1:21:40will just have to wait.

1:21:40 > 1:21:46The Ebola virus or mad cow...!

1:21:43 > 1:21:46I said the first thing that came into my mouth.

1:21:46 > 1:21:48Great.

1:21:47 > 1:21:48I tried to do my best for...

1:21:48 > 1:21:50Hello again.

1:21:49 > 1:21:50George.

1:21:50 > 1:21:53Do I still remind you of your wife?

1:21:53 > 1:21:55You kill me. You're great.

1:21:55 > 1:21:58You're not feeling well, remember. I'm taking her home.

1:21:58 > 1:22:01She's not feeling so well.

1:21:59 > 1:22:01I'm in the book, May Sloane.

1:22:01 > 1:22:04I'll be better.

1:22:02 > 1:22:04I'll call you.

1:22:11 > 1:22:15Ray! I just got the news about Frenchy.

1:22:15 > 1:22:18Frenchy?

1:22:15 > 1:22:18Didn't you hear? Sunset's gone under.

1:22:18 > 1:22:21She was defrauded out of every penny and then some.

1:22:21 > 1:22:23I know you're out of there, but I figured you'd know.

1:22:23 > 1:22:26Yeah, sure, I do know. I-I...

1:22:38 > 1:22:41< I came as soon as I heard.

1:22:43 > 1:22:46I got exactly what I deserved.

1:22:46 > 1:22:48I really missed you, Frenchy.

1:22:50 > 1:22:53I'm sorry I blew our cookie company,

1:22:53 > 1:22:55but I'm even more sorry I blew our marriage.

1:22:55 > 1:22:58What are you gonna do? Everybody makes mistakes.

1:22:58 > 1:23:01The important thing is, I still love you.

1:23:01 > 1:23:04I don't deserve it. I behaved badly.

1:23:04 > 1:23:08You behaved like an ass. That's one of those A words

1:23:08 > 1:23:10you used to practise. Ass.

1:23:10 > 1:23:14But I'm not the easiest guy to get along with. I'm not Mr Sensitive.

1:23:14 > 1:23:17There's a lot of things I could have done differently.

1:23:17 > 1:23:25We stayed in separate rooms the whole trip, that's the truth.

1:23:22 > 1:23:25Where's David now?

1:23:25 > 1:23:29He split the second I went bust.

1:23:27 > 1:23:29No, I don't believe it!

1:23:29 > 1:23:32He was hustling me for the dough.

1:23:32 > 1:23:34So now we've gotta begin again.

1:23:34 > 1:23:37In more ways than one.

1:23:37 > 1:23:39You still want me?

1:23:39 > 1:23:42Still want you? Frenchy, you've gotta ask a question like that?

1:23:42 > 1:23:46I'm crazy about you. You're a goddess to me.

1:23:46 > 1:23:49I'm nuts for you. Of course I want you.

1:23:49 > 1:23:52We're broke. We haven't got a dime.

1:23:52 > 1:23:56We don't even own a stick of this furniture we're sitting on.

1:23:55 > 1:23:56Can I show you something?

1:23:56 > 1:24:01Will you sit here? May I show you one thing?

1:23:58 > 1:24:01OK.

1:23:59 > 1:24:01Let me just show you something.

1:24:02 > 1:24:07I think you're gonna be very, very proud of me.

1:24:06 > 1:24:07< What?

1:24:07 > 1:24:12That's Chi Chi Potter's!

1:24:09 > 1:24:12- Was!- Was Chi Chi's... Was.

1:24:12 > 1:24:13- One word -- was.

1:24:13 > 1:24:19Ray, you didn't!

1:24:14 > 1:24:19I've never felt so great. I was back in action. I felt alive.

1:24:19 > 1:24:22I always felt that you were keeping me with this cookie thing.

1:24:21 > 1:24:22This is glass.

1:24:22 > 1:24:26What are you talking about, glass? How's it glass?

1:24:25 > 1:24:26It's fake.

1:24:26 > 1:24:28What do you mean, fake? How would you know?

1:24:28 > 1:24:31I can tell fake from real. This ain't even good fake.

1:24:31 > 1:24:37What are you talking about? What do you mean it's fake?

1:24:34 > 1:24:37It might fool some idiot with no eye and no brains,

1:24:37 > 1:24:40but it'd never pass with a normal person.

1:24:40 > 1:24:43Are you telling me I got the phoney one?

1:24:43 > 1:24:47I came away with the wrong thing?

1:24:45 > 1:24:47That sounds like your MO.

1:24:47 > 1:24:50You're nuts! I was in the room,

1:24:50 > 1:24:53I was gonna substitute the glass one for the real one,

1:24:53 > 1:24:58then everything got confused.

1:24:55 > 1:24:58It's good to see that you've got the same great instincts!

1:24:58 > 1:25:02You're so wrong! Can I tell you that...

1:25:02 > 1:25:06You take all those lessons. You think you've got taste.

1:25:04 > 1:25:06I'm gonna show you something. Stay right there.

1:25:06 > 1:25:08You think you learn class and taste,

1:25:08 > 1:25:10but you know nothing about jewellery.

1:25:10 > 1:25:13This is real. We take this, fence it, go to Florida.

1:25:13 > 1:25:14It's the goods.

1:25:14 > 1:25:18That ain't gonna get us on the subway, much less to Florida.

1:25:18 > 1:25:20You're such a know-everything.

1:25:20 > 1:25:22You don't have to be a rocket scientist

1:25:22 > 1:25:24to spot a clinker like this.

1:25:24 > 1:25:28Whoever made it for you, you overpaid.

1:25:27 > 1:25:28What can I do if you're wrong?

1:25:28 > 1:25:33What can I do? Can I take your nose and twist it till you turn blue?

1:25:33 > 1:25:34Sure.

1:25:34 > 1:25:35HAMMERING

1:25:44 > 1:25:46Gee! >

1:25:46 > 1:25:48You broke it. >

1:25:48 > 1:25:53It's glass, Ray.

1:25:50 > 1:25:53I know, but it's...

1:25:55 > 1:25:56Frenchy, I'm not cleaning it up.

1:25:56 > 1:26:00You broke it, you got glass over everything.

1:26:00 > 1:26:02It's dangerous.

1:26:02 > 1:26:06Jesus, I don't know what you see in me. I'm such a screw-up.

1:26:06 > 1:26:11It's glass. Don't you understand? I got the glass one.

1:26:09 > 1:26:11All that matters is that we have each other.

1:26:11 > 1:26:13We didn't have for a while

1:26:13 > 1:26:18and the whole thing made me realise how much I need you.

1:26:16 > 1:26:18But you're married to such a loser.

1:26:18 > 1:26:24No, I'm the luckiest woman in the world.

1:26:21 > 1:26:24And the brokest. On top of that, we've got nothing.

1:26:24 > 1:26:29As usual, I come up empty.

1:26:27 > 1:26:29We could pawn this.

1:26:29 > 1:26:31What is this?

1:26:31 > 1:26:32What is this thing?

1:26:32 > 1:26:37Who? I don't understand, who's the Duke Of Windsor?

1:26:37 > 1:26:40Actually, we could probably auction it.

1:26:39 > 1:26:40Where did you get this thing?

1:26:40 > 1:26:43From David.

1:26:41 > 1:26:43David gave you this?

1:26:43 > 1:26:48He doesn't know it yet.

1:26:45 > 1:26:48I don't get it. What do you mean?

1:26:48 > 1:26:52Hey, it was you who taught me how to open a safe.

1:26:52 > 1:26:56That was one of my fondest memories of our time together.

1:26:56 > 1:26:58What are you saying?

1:26:58 > 1:27:00You boosted this from David's safe?

1:27:00 > 1:27:03That's stealing.

1:27:02 > 1:27:03Not exactly.

1:27:03 > 1:27:05It's a long story, Ray.

1:27:05 > 1:27:09Let's sell it and I'll fill you in on the flight to Miami.

1:27:15 > 1:27:20Sweetheart, you are the greatest.

1:27:22 > 1:27:27# Oh baby what I Couldn't do-o-o

1:27:27 > 1:27:32# With plenty of money And yo-o-ou

1:27:32 > 1:27:35# In spite of the worry

1:27:35 > 1:27:37# That money brings

1:27:37 > 1:27:42# Just a little filthy lucre Buys a lot of things

1:27:42 > 1:27:47# And I could take you to places You'd like to go

1:27:47 > 1:27:52# But outside of that I've no use for dough

1:27:52 > 1:27:55# It's the root of all evil

1:27:55 > 1:27:57# Of strife and upheaval

1:27:57 > 1:28:00# But I'm certain, honey

1:28:00 > 1:28:02# That life could be sunny

1:28:02 > 1:28:04# With plenty of money

1:28:04 > 1:28:06# And you. #

1:29:14 > 1:29:18Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd