Wild Hogs

0:00:09 > 0:00:11"GIMME SOME LOVIN'" PLAYING

0:00:17 > 0:00:19MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING

0:00:32 > 0:00:34SPENCER DAVIS GROUP, SINGING: # Hey

0:00:34 > 0:00:39# Well, my temperature is rising and my feet hit the floor

0:00:39 > 0:00:42# Crazy people rocking cos they want to go more

0:00:42 > 0:00:45# Let me in, baby, I don't know what you got_

0:00:45 > 0:00:48# But you better take it easy cos this place is hot

0:00:48 > 0:00:52# And I'm so glad we made it

0:00:52 > 0:00:54# So glad we made it

0:00:54 > 0:00:58# You got to gimme some lovin', gimme gimme some lovin'

0:00:58 > 0:01:01# Gimme some lovin', gimme gimme some lovin'

0:01:01 > 0:01:03# Gimme some lovin' every day... #

0:01:03 > 0:01:06Whoa ho!

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Oh! Whoa! Whoa!

0:01:08 > 0:01:10Oh!

0:01:10 > 0:01:12Man, oh, man!

0:01:12 > 0:01:16I almost lost it back there. I didn't know what was going on.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18Uhh!

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Oh. Oh.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43Oh, hey, babe?

0:01:43 > 0:01:44Doug? Huh?

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Can you take Billy to school today?

0:01:46 > 0:01:47My day kind of got away from me.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50Yeah, yeah. Unless there's an emergency at the office.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51Oh, is there an emergency?

0:01:51 > 0:01:54You know, dentists do have emergencies.

0:01:54 > 0:01:55Oh.

0:01:55 > 0:01:56Sometimes.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58Ah.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00We are doctors.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05No. No. Not until your LDL is under 100.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11Well, Mr Putnam, any plans this summer?

0:02:11 > 0:02:13MUFFLED

0:02:13 > 0:02:15What did he say?

0:02:15 > 0:02:17He said, "We're taking an African safari."

0:02:17 > 0:02:20Africa? I don't think I've been out of Cincinnati in 12 years.

0:02:20 > 0:02:24You owe it to yourself to get out and enjoy life.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26You can't just live to work.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28You need excitement.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29SUCKING NOISE Aah!

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Don't be a baby. It's just...

0:02:31 > 0:02:33suck...extractor.

0:02:33 > 0:02:34Aaah!

0:02:34 > 0:02:37That'll suck the spots off a Dalmatian!

0:02:37 > 0:02:38All right.

0:02:38 > 0:02:39Know what they call this thing?

0:02:39 > 0:02:44One powerful little sucker. That's the brand name. It's unbelievable. See that?

0:02:44 > 0:02:46I have plenty of excitement in my life. Thank you, Mrs Putnam.

0:02:52 > 0:02:53INTERCOM BUZZES Bobby?

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Karen, I asked for no disturbances.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57I need to talk to you, Bobby.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00Technically, I'm at the office right now.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02And technically, you're in our guest bedroom.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05Look, I know, baby. I just got to finish this chapter.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09I know, but you know what, I have to go to a job that actually makes us money.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11And I'm late, so walk me to the door.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Come on, Bobby. I got to get to work. Ok?

0:03:14 > 0:03:15Oh, wait. I forgot my cell phone.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Stay. Hey, Daddy.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20Listen. Aah! Aaaaaaaahhhh...

0:03:20 > 0:03:23Whoa. Inside voice. Inside voice.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27Shut up. It's like living with a car alarm that shits.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31Whoa, whoa. What are you doing trying to leave the house wearing that?

0:03:31 > 0:03:33You look like an Eskimo hooker.

0:03:33 > 0:03:34Dad, that's the point.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36You want to look like a hooker?

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Dad, you are so lame.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40It's hard for kids to respect the man

0:03:40 > 0:03:42that don't do none of the providing.

0:03:42 > 0:03:46In my day, the lady stayed home, not the lazy man.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48In your day, the men had pyramids to build.

0:03:48 > 0:03:50How old is that?

0:03:50 > 0:03:52Listen, I'm in complete control of my family -

0:03:52 > 0:03:53Aah! Aaaaahhhh!

0:03:53 > 0:03:54No.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Hush.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Come.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00How come she gets quiet when you say something to her?

0:04:00 > 0:04:02Because you, my darling, have no control.

0:04:02 > 0:04:07Baby, I know your how-to book is gonna be a huge success someday,

0:04:07 > 0:04:09But do you remember what day today is?

0:04:09 > 0:04:10No.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12See, we had agreed that you would take a year off

0:04:12 > 0:04:14to pursue this whole fantasy of yours,

0:04:14 > 0:04:16but that year is up.

0:04:16 > 0:04:17Now, you and I had a deal.

0:04:17 > 0:04:18Come on, baby.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20Stressful cases, clients under duress.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24I'm tired of dealing with shit all the time.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Besides, how do we even know they'll take me back?

0:04:27 > 0:04:28Because I called.

0:04:28 > 0:04:29You serious?

0:04:29 > 0:04:32The firm is ecstatic to have you back, Bobby.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34You got a 9:00 appointment.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37You called the firm?

0:04:37 > 0:04:38Yeah, men's room.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42Some trucks driver must have crapped an entire cow in there, man.

0:04:42 > 0:04:43Good luck.

0:04:46 > 0:04:51I didn't want to give him the key but I didn't trust my instincts.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00I saw my father shot.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02I never cry until today.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07I got robbed yesterday

0:05:07 > 0:05:11and I know now - your job is the bad one.

0:05:12 > 0:05:13Yep.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Dudley?

0:05:31 > 0:05:35Yes, good morning, Mac. How's it going?

0:05:35 > 0:05:37It is now 9:00 a.m.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Thanks, Mac.

0:05:39 > 0:05:40Open internet, please.

0:05:42 > 0:05:43Open internet.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49I think I have to research alternative specs.

0:05:51 > 0:05:522 million websites found. What?

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Grannylove.org - you want granny to take her teeth out?

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Barnyard love. HORSE WHINNIES

0:05:58 > 0:05:59I'm sorry.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Enjoy the animals.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Granny's gonna spank your bottom.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05SHEEP BLEATS

0:06:05 > 0:06:06All kinds of fun.

0:06:06 > 0:06:07PIG SQUEALING

0:06:07 > 0:06:09How do you fix that?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Or not?

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Well, I can't...

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Looks like it's just you and me.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21CAT YOWLS

0:06:31 > 0:06:33OK, Larry, so what are you trying to tell me?

0:06:33 > 0:06:34You're broke.

0:06:34 > 0:06:35But how does that work?

0:06:35 > 0:06:37That means you've spent everything you had,

0:06:37 > 0:06:38then you spent some more.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40This is right here. Nothing. Zero.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43You know, maybe it's time for my wife, "the supermodel,"

0:06:43 > 0:06:45to start paying for some things,

0:06:45 > 0:06:46I mean, for once in her life.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49You're getting divorced. Why would she pay?

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Ha ha! Divorce, going broke. You think I'm falling apart, don't you?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54You're not going broke. You ARE broke.

0:06:54 > 0:06:57OK. The door's behind you.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59No, no, you listen to me, Toby.

0:06:59 > 0:07:00You're not gonna push me around.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Look, we agreed on a price, and that's a price I'm gonna pay.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06You got it? And if you don't like it, just walk away.

0:07:06 > 0:07:07And I'll tell you this.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10You can kiss your business good-bye, because if you screw with Woody Stevens,

0:07:10 > 0:07:12you go down hard, you got that?

0:07:12 > 0:07:13What?

0:07:13 > 0:07:17No, money is not a problem. Don't insult me. Don't insult me!

0:07:17 > 0:07:18Money's never a problem.

0:07:18 > 0:07:21You just have to honour the correct price, you got that?

0:07:21 > 0:07:22What?

0:07:26 > 0:07:29Well, then go home, Toby. You make me sick!

0:07:29 > 0:07:31I can't do this many leaves for 10 bucks.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33It'll take hours!

0:07:33 > 0:07:34Well, you should have thought of that

0:07:34 > 0:07:36before you put that flyer on the telephone pole

0:07:36 > 0:07:38saying "Any yard for 10 bucks."

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Oh, come on. Let's talk.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Let's talk like men, OK?

0:07:45 > 0:07:46What's the problem?

0:07:46 > 0:07:47Money's the problem!

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Grow up, Toby!

0:07:50 > 0:07:52I hate you!

0:07:52 > 0:07:53I hate YOU!

0:07:55 > 0:07:56Moron!

0:07:59 > 0:08:00DOUG: Kel, it's me!

0:08:00 > 0:08:01I'll be right down.

0:08:03 > 0:08:04Hey, Bill.

0:08:04 > 0:08:09You want to shoot some hoops or something before I take my ride?

0:08:09 > 0:08:10No, thanks.

0:08:13 > 0:08:14Hey, babe.

0:08:14 > 0:08:16How was work?

0:08:16 > 0:08:17Great. Good.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19TELEPHONE RINGS

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Hello? Cool. I'll ask right now.

0:08:21 > 0:08:22Hey, Mom, can I play ball with Stu and his dad?

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Of course you can. Cool. Thanks.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Dude, I'll be right over, OK?

0:08:26 > 0:08:27All right. Bye.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Bill, I just asked you a couple of seconds ago

0:08:29 > 0:08:30if you wanted to play ball. You said no.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Well, yeah. I mean, Stu's dad is awesome.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34He can totally dunk.

0:08:34 > 0:08:35The hoop's, what, 8 feet above the ground?

0:08:35 > 0:08:37Anybody can dunk that.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40Well, see you guys later.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Doug, I am so sorry. I had no idea.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Wasn't your fault. You didn't know.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49What do I got to do to relate to my son?

0:08:49 > 0:08:52"SLOW RIDE" PLAYING

0:08:52 > 0:08:57# Ohh, slow ride

0:08:57 > 0:09:02# Take it easy

0:09:02 > 0:09:05# Slow ride, it's all right... #

0:09:11 > 0:09:12Hey, guys.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Does this sound better?

0:09:14 > 0:09:15REVVING ENGINE

0:09:15 > 0:09:18Whoa!

0:09:18 > 0:09:20Ohh!

0:09:24 > 0:09:27I'm OK. I hit my butt.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32"WHO DO YOU LOVE" PLAYING

0:09:43 > 0:09:45# Who do you love?

0:09:45 > 0:09:47# Who do you love?

0:09:49 > 0:09:53# Yeah, who do you love?

0:09:53 > 0:09:56# Aw, who do you love...? #

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Thanks, Woody.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07I feel really safe with you.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08I noticed that.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11And if you ever lay your head on my back again when you're riding bitch,

0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'll throw you in the traffic.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15I was just trying to keep the wind off my face.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17I felt you smell my neck.

0:10:17 > 0:10:18Guys, could we?

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Did you smell that man's neck?

0:10:22 > 0:10:24His cologne is fantastic.

0:10:24 > 0:10:28It's musky with an oaky finish,

0:10:28 > 0:10:31like a lawyer cowboy.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Lawyer cowboy?!

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Wild Hogs aren't welcome here.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Hey, Paul. Hey, guys.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Hey, Woody.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Just waiting on those K-1s to your tax returns?

0:10:42 > 0:10:46We also need to talk about that offshore incorporated thing.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Yeah, well, I'll give you a call.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51OK. I'll set up lunch. Or we could do a day at the spa.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Now, that was fun.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56I don't remember that.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Got your wine cooler, Dad.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59Oh, sweet. Thanks.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01I'll see you Hogs in hell!

0:11:01 > 0:11:02We'll make it.

0:11:02 > 0:11:03That was scary, Paul. Good work.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05See you later.

0:11:05 > 0:11:06I'm not coming here anymore.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08This is a Wild Hog tradition.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11We're not wild hogs. We're like wild lambs.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13It's just a patch that Doug's wife made.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15We sewed it on our jackets so she wouldn't feel bad.

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Is that a fact? Yeah.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Well, what has your wife ever made us?

0:11:18 > 0:11:19Hot.

0:11:19 > 0:11:20Hey.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21Yeah.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23You know what I'm saying. She's good-looking.

0:11:23 > 0:11:24Ha ha ha!

0:11:24 > 0:11:25Show some respect.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Come on, that's what your wife does.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29She's a swimsuit model and a good one.

0:11:29 > 0:11:30I mean, she is hot.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32OK, here's the question.

0:11:32 > 0:11:33What are we doing here?

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Having beers like we do every week.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37No, no, bigger picture. Life, man.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40What do we have to look forward to?

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Ride in formation, the Labour Day parade? Is that it?

0:11:42 > 0:11:44I'm really looking forward to the parade.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46I got Tootsie Rolls that I can throw to the kids.

0:11:46 > 0:11:47Ohh...

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Tootsie Rolls that he could throw to the kids.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Man, you can't even put on your turn signal

0:11:52 > 0:11:53without busting your ass.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Let's put some real miles on those bikes.

0:11:56 > 0:11:57Road trip?

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Yeah, a road trip.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Just us.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03No rules. No Tootsie Rolls.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06Just us, the wind, the road to the Pacific.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10You know, we camp out for a week whenever we want, wherever we want.

0:12:10 > 0:12:11Freedom, man.

0:12:11 > 0:12:14As long as we stop at some WIFI hot spots, count me in.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16You're in? All right.

0:12:16 > 0:12:19I can't get the time off of work.

0:12:19 > 0:12:20You know, I'm a doctor.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22You're a dentist.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25In college, he'd have been packed already.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27I'm not kidding. And on a bike, he's fearless.

0:12:27 > 0:12:28He was fearless.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Yeah, well, that -

0:12:30 > 0:12:32This guy, we called him the Golden Knight.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Where's that guy? I want to see that guy again.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36That guy is married now,

0:12:36 > 0:12:39and that guy used to get high a lot.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41What's Claudia gonna say about this?

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Nothing. She's in the Bahamas doing

0:12:43 > 0:12:46some swimsuit thing for Sports Illustrated.

0:12:46 > 0:12:47Look, if not now, when?

0:12:47 > 0:12:51Y'all know me. I'm the first to get buck wild.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54No, you're not. You're just afraid to ask your wife.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56True. True.

0:12:56 > 0:12:57I said true!

0:12:57 > 0:13:00Come on! This is it. On the edge.

0:13:00 > 0:13:01We're living. St Elmo's Fire.

0:13:01 > 0:13:02The Wild Bunch.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04You know, Deliverance!

0:13:04 > 0:13:05Deliverance? Deliverance?

0:13:05 > 0:13:06What? Deliverance?

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Deliverance? >

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Hey, dudes, we're going to ride as an American flag

0:13:11 > 0:13:12in the parade this year.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Each guy in our chapter is a star.

0:13:14 > 0:13:15What?

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Buddy, it's sick.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Who's going to do the stripes? Lyman Middle School majorettes.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Oh, boy. Hey, Doug, we're really livin' now.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24I hope you don't get hit by a stray baton!

0:13:24 > 0:13:26You know what, I'm outta here.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28I'm going with you guys or without you guys.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30You know what I mean?

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Goodnight. I said I'd go.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Buddy, come on back.

0:13:34 > 0:13:35Hmm. Oh, I almost forgot,

0:13:35 > 0:13:39we're also going to be wearing black ribbons in honour of Tom Peterson.

0:13:39 > 0:13:42He died last week. Boom, just like that.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Anyway, he'll be missed.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48Tom Peterson, Tom Peterson!

0:13:48 > 0:13:49Do you remember that guy?

0:13:49 > 0:13:50He was our age.

0:14:02 > 0:14:03Mom, want some gravy?

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Oh, yeah, thanks.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08So, how was your ride?

0:14:08 > 0:14:11I don't know. All Woody did was yap about taking

0:14:11 > 0:14:13some stupid cross-country trip.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15So do you want to talk about going on this ride?

0:14:15 > 0:14:16I can't go on a cross-country trip.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19I can't just walk away from work anytime I want.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Yeah, you know what, you're right.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23It's just as well.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26You know, road trips probably aren't the best thing for a guy your age.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28I mean, it's got to be really inconvenient,

0:14:28 > 0:14:30a bunch of middle-aged guys having to get off their bikes

0:14:30 > 0:14:32every 20 minutes or so to take a pee.

0:14:32 > 0:14:34My age? What kind of crack is that?

0:14:34 > 0:14:36What's wrong with my age?

0:14:36 > 0:14:37She talks like I'm not right here, you know?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39Doug, I'm joking.

0:14:39 > 0:14:40No, you know what I think?

0:14:40 > 0:14:42I think you think I'm a boring guy.

0:14:42 > 0:14:43I'm old and I'm boring now.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44I've become lame.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46I think everybody thinks that at this table.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48I'm lame. I'm just lame. Admit it. I'm lame.

0:14:48 > 0:14:49Doug, calm down.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51No, I'm not gonna calm down.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Cos you know what I think calming down means

0:14:53 > 0:14:54is another word for lame!

0:14:54 > 0:14:55I'm not lame.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57I'm wild and free.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Wild and free and a man!

0:14:59 > 0:15:02A man that likes to eat meat. I'm tired of not eating meat!

0:15:02 > 0:15:03Meat's good!

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Good for men.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09And potatoes. I like potatoes and I like gravy on my potatoes.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Yum, yum!

0:15:12 > 0:15:14HE GULPS

0:15:16 > 0:15:19I'm living wild. I'm living wild and good. It feels good, baby.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21No, no, Dad. Your LDL.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Butt out LDLs! I miss butter.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25You know why, the French say butter is just like cheese.

0:15:25 > 0:15:28They eat it...eat it just like this.

0:15:28 > 0:15:29Right off the stick.

0:15:29 > 0:15:32The French, who have never won a major battle,

0:15:32 > 0:15:33they know how to eat!

0:15:35 > 0:15:37I am living and it feels great!

0:15:44 > 0:15:45HE BELCHES

0:15:45 > 0:15:46Doug, are you OK?

0:15:49 > 0:15:50Are you OK?

0:15:50 > 0:15:51Dad, just spit it out.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53I'm OK.

0:15:53 > 0:15:54Just spit it out! Come on.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56Breathe, breathe, breathe.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Well, Mr Madsen.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01Dr Madsen.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Oh, really? Great.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Well, then I can put this more simply,

0:16:05 > 0:16:07looks like you had a catecholamine-induced,

0:16:07 > 0:16:08super-ventricular tachyarrhythmia.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10I'm actually a dentist,

0:16:10 > 0:16:13so I have no idea what you just said.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16Stress-induced panic attack. I'm not stressed.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19Your body says otherwise. We see this a lot in middle-aged men.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22I'm not middle-aged. We hear that a lot, too.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24How 'bout we get you out of here in a few minutes?

0:16:26 > 0:16:28I am a middle-aged man, aren't I?

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Only mathematically. HE SIGHS

0:16:31 > 0:16:34I think you need to let off some steam.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36You used to love to travel.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39No, Doug, you used to play hockey. You were crazy.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41You don't even sing annoying Eighties music.

0:16:41 > 0:16:42Well, it's different now.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45You know, I had to slow down for... for you and Billy.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Oh, so I'm the one who did this to you?

0:16:47 > 0:16:49I'm in a hospital.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51It's easier for me now to blame other people for my problems.

0:16:51 > 0:16:55Well, I think you should go on that trip.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59If you don't, I will fire up the hog and go with the guys.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Woody doesn't have a plan. Yeah, but he never does.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03It's like taking a trip to nowhere.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07Maybe that's exactly what you need.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14What up?

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Hey.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18You're late. You were supposed to be here at 8:30, guys.

0:17:18 > 0:17:19Hey. Look here.

0:17:19 > 0:17:25If Karen calls, OK, I'm at a toilet bowl seminar in Cleveland.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27Ha ha ha!

0:17:27 > 0:17:28No, I'm serious.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29I need y'all to cover for me now, all right?

0:17:29 > 0:17:31Yeah, sure.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33WOODY: What? What?

0:17:33 > 0:17:35What are you looking at?

0:17:35 > 0:17:36I got a tat.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Come on. Hell just froze over.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39Let's see it.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41I'm a biker, dude. I got a tat.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43WOODY: It's an apple.

0:17:43 > 0:17:44Uh, Dudley, you know -

0:17:44 > 0:17:48I know. Trademarked. But what are they gonna say?

0:17:48 > 0:17:50It's in my skin, bitch!

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Ha!

0:17:53 > 0:17:55You guys aren't gonna wear helmets?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Maybe I don't want to wear a helmet.

0:17:57 > 0:17:58Maybe I don't want anything between me and the road.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00You will if your head falls on it.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Woody, 62% of all motorcycle fatalities can be prevented

0:18:04 > 0:18:05with the use of an approved DOT Helmet.

0:18:05 > 0:18:06Is that right?

0:18:06 > 0:18:08What is that leather condom gonna protect you from?

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Snoopy? The Red Baron? How about dating?

0:18:11 > 0:18:12You told me you liked it.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14There are no rules on this trip, remember?

0:18:14 > 0:18:17We're just heading for the Pacific, and there ain't no plans.

0:18:17 > 0:18:19Right. Well, we got a week to do this, right?

0:18:19 > 0:18:21So I figure we got to be in Illinois by tonight.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23Well, the way I mapped it out,

0:18:23 > 0:18:26we should be 100 miles past St Louis by sundown.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28What did I say?

0:18:28 > 0:18:29I said it's the open road. OK?

0:18:29 > 0:18:30Who knows where we're gonna be.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33I know where we're gonna be. Dudley hooked me up.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35Check out this thing.

0:18:35 > 0:18:36It's a GPS in my phone now.

0:18:36 > 0:18:37Look at that thing.

0:18:37 > 0:18:39Let me see that. It's cool. Look at that.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Woody... Hey, numb-nuts, what did you do that for?

0:18:41 > 0:18:43For the good of the trip.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45You don't need a GPS to discover America.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47You need a bike and you need the road.

0:18:47 > 0:18:48OK? Freedom.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51And if we have an emergency, I got a cell phone.

0:18:51 > 0:18:52No, you don't. What?

0:18:52 > 0:18:55Hey! Why did you do that? I got all my data in there.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Well, how does that feel, Woody?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59It feels good.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01Whoo!

0:19:01 > 0:19:03# It's my prerogative, mmm mmm mmm #

0:19:03 > 0:19:04No cell phones!

0:19:04 > 0:19:05Wait a minute.

0:19:05 > 0:19:06Doug, Doug, he's right.

0:19:06 > 0:19:07No, wait, wait.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Whoo!

0:19:09 > 0:19:11Yeah, yeah, Wild Hogs, baby.

0:19:11 > 0:19:12Wild Hogs!

0:19:12 > 0:19:14You just did that so Karen wouldn't call you.

0:19:14 > 0:19:15Exactly.

0:19:15 > 0:19:16Come on. Give it up.

0:19:16 > 0:19:17So, we're not gonna discuss this.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19We're not even gonna think about this.

0:19:19 > 0:19:20No, no, we need -

0:19:20 > 0:19:22Wait a minute!

0:19:22 > 0:19:23CRASH

0:19:23 > 0:19:25BRAKES SQUEAL

0:19:26 > 0:19:27We got to go.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Go, go, go!

0:19:29 > 0:19:30TRUCKER: Come back here!

0:19:33 > 0:19:35"WALK LIKE A MAN" PLAYING

0:19:35 > 0:19:38# Walk like a man

0:19:38 > 0:19:42# And talk like a man

0:19:42 > 0:19:45# Walk like a man, hey, baby

0:19:45 > 0:19:49# You can call me your man

0:19:49 > 0:19:52# Walk like a man

0:19:52 > 0:19:56# And talk like a man

0:19:56 > 0:20:00# A little girl asked me what am I gonna' do

0:20:00 > 0:20:03# When I get old and blue and worn clear through?

0:20:03 > 0:20:07# And I say by that time, I ought to be in my prime

0:20:07 > 0:20:10# I'm gonna' strut like a cock until I'm 99

0:20:10 > 0:20:14# I'm gonna walk like a man

0:20:14 > 0:20:18# And talk like a man

0:20:18 > 0:20:21# And walk like a man, hey, baby

0:20:21 > 0:20:25# You can call me your man... #

0:20:27 > 0:20:29WOMEN GIGGLING

0:20:29 > 0:20:30WOMAN: Hey.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35WOMAN: You guys want a ride?

0:20:37 > 0:20:39# Walk like a man... #

0:20:39 > 0:20:41All right. Sleeping bags are all set.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46Bobby, I got 2 words for you.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Foot pump.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50Woody, I got 4 words for you.

0:20:50 > 0:20:51Got a cheap-ass wife.

0:20:51 > 0:20:52Ha ha ha!

0:20:52 > 0:20:56Hey, guys, this is poop, so don't eat it.

0:20:56 > 0:20:57Oh, god.

0:20:57 > 0:21:01Excuse me, Mr Hard Drive, you're supposed to bury it, not put it in a bag.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03This is plastic. I'm not gonna put it in the earth.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05I'll find a garbage can tomorrow.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10So you gonna sit right next to me with that doo-doo?

0:21:12 > 0:21:15Hey, come on. Doesn't get any better than this.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Sitting around a fire, chillin' with your best friends,

0:21:17 > 0:21:18Just relaxing, enjoying...

0:21:18 > 0:21:21I'm sorry, Dudley. You got to bury that thing,

0:21:21 > 0:21:23otherwise I'll vomit in your lap.

0:21:23 > 0:21:24..each other's company.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26All right. I'll hang it from a tree so the bears don't get it.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28No, don't hang it in a tree.

0:21:28 > 0:21:29Why not?

0:21:29 > 0:21:30Cos bears don't eat shit.

0:21:30 > 0:21:32Ha ha ha!

0:21:35 > 0:21:37DOUG SIGHS

0:21:37 > 0:21:39What's up?

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Did you ever wake up and wonder what happened to your life?

0:21:44 > 0:21:46I really had such great plans.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49My life and my work would be an adventure, you know?

0:21:49 > 0:21:52All of a sudden, I'm a suburban dentist.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54Hey, look, Doug. I feel your pain.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Look, I swore I would never return to a job

0:21:57 > 0:21:59where I had to wear condoms on my shoes.

0:21:59 > 0:22:00You're still at the firm?

0:22:00 > 0:22:04Yeah. I get yelled at by an ungrateful wife all night.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06The whole thing has made me -

0:22:06 > 0:22:07A wimp.

0:22:07 > 0:22:09I was gonna say miserable.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Do you think I'm a wimp?

0:22:11 > 0:22:14No. No, I thought you were gonna say wimp, so I just filled it in.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17You're a wimp, Bobby. I'll say it.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20I mean, you're afraid of women. It's kind of embarrassing.

0:22:20 > 0:22:21I'm afraid of women.

0:22:21 > 0:22:22You're afraid to talk to women.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Bobby's afraid they'll kill him in his sleep.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Ha ha ha!

0:22:26 > 0:22:29Wow. Now I'm really afraid of women.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Well, at least one of us is living the fairy tale.

0:22:31 > 0:22:32Right, Woody?

0:22:32 > 0:22:33Plenty of money. You travel all the time.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36You got the swimsuit model for a wife.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38At least one of us has got it made.

0:22:38 > 0:22:42Oh, one man's fairytale is another man's nightmare.

0:22:42 > 0:22:45You think that the marshmallow's done, Doug?

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Hey. Look at that.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Anybody want the first marshmallow?

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Starting to look like Dudley's helmet.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55All right.

0:22:56 > 0:22:57I think I'm halfway there.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Oh, and only one hour.

0:22:59 > 0:23:00Bobby, you sure you want to do that?

0:23:00 > 0:23:02You could just use one of the spare bags we got in the -

0:23:02 > 0:23:03Hey!

0:23:03 > 0:23:06Hey, Dudley, go get the water jug out of my bag!

0:23:06 > 0:23:08I want you to kick, kick, kick.

0:23:08 > 0:23:09I got it!

0:23:09 > 0:23:11That's campfire fuel!

0:23:11 > 0:23:12Oh! Oh!

0:23:12 > 0:23:14Oh, no!

0:23:15 > 0:23:17This is the wrong jug!

0:23:17 > 0:23:18You think?

0:23:18 > 0:23:21Oh, god. This is supposed to be flame retardant.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Guess it wasn't Dudley retardant.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28My drawers are burning.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh, perfect!

0:23:41 > 0:23:42SNORING

0:23:46 > 0:23:47What are you doing?

0:23:47 > 0:23:51I'm keeping my face out of the wind.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Hey. Oh!

0:23:53 > 0:23:55Boy, my ass is sore.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57DUDLEY: Mine, too.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00It's Woody's fault for riding us so hard yesterday.

0:24:00 > 0:24:04The human body wasn't made to straddle something that big for that long.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07WOODY: Well, you know, it's gonna hurt a little bit.

0:24:07 > 0:24:08That's all part of the experience.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10That's why we didn't bring our wives.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12BOBBY: What the - What the hell?

0:24:12 > 0:24:16Somebody want to explain to me why I'm the one in the dirt?

0:24:16 > 0:24:19When I got sore jaws from 3 hours of blowing -

0:24:20 > 0:24:21Please.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23Please. For the love of God,

0:24:23 > 0:24:26finish your sentence.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Let's see, what exactly do we have here?

0:24:32 > 0:24:39We've got 3 men in a bed spooning?

0:24:39 > 0:24:40This is not what it looks like.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43This is... What is it, Woody?

0:24:43 > 0:24:44Camping.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47I'll tell you just exactly what it is there, Poindexter.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50It is 4 counts of indecent exposure.

0:24:50 > 0:24:542 counts of lewd, lascivious behaviour,

0:24:54 > 0:24:57and one count of pure jealousy.

0:24:57 > 0:24:58Huh?

0:24:58 > 0:25:00How you doing?

0:25:00 > 0:25:03Thanks for waking us up, Officer.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05Come on, guys.

0:25:05 > 0:25:06I get it.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09You got to get going. That's terrific.

0:25:09 > 0:25:11So five's a crowd, is that what I'm gleaning here?

0:25:11 > 0:25:14Five's an uneven number. Figure it out.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16Well, you guys can't see it, can you?

0:25:16 > 0:25:18You're too close. You don't realize how lucky you are

0:25:18 > 0:25:19to have each other.

0:25:21 > 0:25:25Oh, daddy. Damn lucky.

0:25:26 > 0:25:27I've always felt so.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29I know what you've felt.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31I have, too.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Are you wearing pants?

0:25:45 > 0:25:46No.

0:25:46 > 0:25:50Would you please put some pants on, for God's sake?

0:25:50 > 0:25:52What a nice guy.

0:25:54 > 0:25:55Oh, yeah!

0:25:57 > 0:25:58DOUG: Whoo! Anybody else got to take a leak?

0:25:58 > 0:25:59No.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02Hey, guys. Last stop for quite a while.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04Ohh. I got to pee again now.

0:26:06 > 0:26:07MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Wow.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55I can smell them from here.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Gentlemen, it's the real deal.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00"CALL ME THE BREEZE" PLAYING

0:27:03 > 0:27:06# Call me the breeze

0:27:06 > 0:27:09# I keep blowin' down the road

0:27:12 > 0:27:16# Well, now they call me the breeze

0:27:16 > 0:27:19# I keep blowin' down the road

0:27:22 > 0:27:26# I ain't got me nobody

0:27:26 > 0:27:28# I don't carry me no load... #

0:27:28 > 0:27:29Aah!

0:27:30 > 0:27:32What happened?

0:27:32 > 0:27:35# Ain't no change in the weather

0:27:35 > 0:27:38# Ain't no changes in me

0:27:41 > 0:27:45# Well, there ain't no change in the weather

0:27:45 > 0:27:48# Ain't no changes in me

0:27:51 > 0:27:55# And I ain't hidin' from nobody

0:27:55 > 0:27:57# Nobody's hidin' from me... #

0:27:59 > 0:28:01Aah! Stop it!

0:28:22 > 0:28:24WOODY: This is awesome.

0:28:26 > 0:28:30Thanks for waiting for me, jerks.

0:28:30 > 0:28:31Ya-hoo!

0:28:33 > 0:28:36Whoa! It's cold.

0:28:36 > 0:28:37What?

0:28:37 > 0:28:39Why are you naked?

0:28:39 > 0:28:40We're swimming.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42Did you guys keep your skivvies on?

0:28:42 > 0:28:44Yeah, there could be snapping turtles or something in here.

0:28:44 > 0:28:48I kept mine on cos I didn't want it to get dark in here.

0:28:48 > 0:28:50I don't know. I thought we were doing this wild and free thing.

0:28:50 > 0:28:52Yeah, well.

0:28:52 > 0:28:55More like old and lame, isn't it?

0:28:55 > 0:28:58The high guy would have just ripped 'em right off,

0:28:58 > 0:28:59you know, back in the day.

0:28:59 > 0:29:01But today's today, isn't it?

0:29:01 > 0:29:04This isn't necessary.

0:29:04 > 0:29:06Come on, come on!

0:29:06 > 0:29:08Huh?

0:29:08 > 0:29:10You see what you just started?

0:29:10 > 0:29:12You even got Doug out of his drawers.

0:29:12 > 0:29:13What the hell, you know what I mean?

0:29:13 > 0:29:15But everybody keep their distance.

0:29:15 > 0:29:19I don't want the whole size thing to ruin our friendship.

0:29:19 > 0:29:20I'm launching mine.

0:29:20 > 0:29:21Over your head, baby.

0:29:21 > 0:29:23You guys...

0:29:28 > 0:29:31Come on! Huh?

0:29:31 > 0:29:33Fine.

0:29:33 > 0:29:35I will get naked with my gay friends.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37And if any of them look at my junk,

0:29:37 > 0:29:38I will kill them.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44Gentlemen, these are the good old days.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46Eww!

0:29:47 > 0:29:48Ha ha ha!

0:29:49 > 0:29:52CAR DOORS CLOSING, KIDS YELLING

0:29:52 > 0:29:54MAN: Come on, kids. Come on.

0:29:54 > 0:29:55Whoo!

0:29:55 > 0:29:57Oh, no.

0:29:57 > 0:29:59Last one in smells like a sweaty...

0:29:59 > 0:30:00Oh, hell, no.

0:30:00 > 0:30:02Hope you guys don't mind some company.

0:30:02 > 0:30:03The minivan was getting a little crowded.

0:30:03 > 0:30:06There's a much shallower creek for kids

0:30:06 > 0:30:08just up the canyon there a little bit.

0:30:08 > 0:30:09Oh, no, my kids like to dive.

0:30:09 > 0:30:10Marky, show this guy your dive.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13If you put your arms out, he does a backflip right into them.

0:30:13 > 0:30:15No! Don't do that, it's not a good idea.

0:30:15 > 0:30:18Oh! Hello!

0:30:18 > 0:30:19You gentlemen like potato salad?

0:30:19 > 0:30:21We've got extra.

0:30:21 > 0:30:23You might want to eat that way over there.

0:30:23 > 0:30:25Less ants and snakes.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27The kids are coming. The kids are coming.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29No, no. Guys, you can't swim over here.

0:30:29 > 0:30:30Crawfish. Big crawfish. They're snapping. Ah!

0:30:30 > 0:30:32Crawfish? Ha ha!

0:30:32 > 0:30:35Let me see if I can catch one!

0:30:35 > 0:30:37You see? He's looking for crawfish!

0:30:37 > 0:30:38I told you! He's gonna find a couple!

0:30:38 > 0:30:40BOBBY: Where is he?

0:30:45 > 0:30:48Marky, Cooper, Ava, let's - let's get out of the water

0:30:48 > 0:30:50and find a new spot.

0:30:50 > 0:30:51Why, Hugh?

0:30:51 > 0:30:53This is such a nice -

0:30:53 > 0:30:56Oh, my God.

0:30:56 > 0:30:57I didn't want to do this.

0:30:57 > 0:30:58Out of the water now!

0:30:58 > 0:31:00Kids, listen to your Dad.

0:31:00 > 0:31:01Aw! We just got here

0:31:01 > 0:31:03Get out of the damn water now!

0:31:03 > 0:31:05Run, run, run. Go.

0:31:05 > 0:31:06MOM: Come on.

0:31:06 > 0:31:08HUGH: What's wrong with these people? Come on. Go!

0:31:08 > 0:31:11I'll bet her potato salad was really good.

0:31:11 > 0:31:13Let's go!

0:31:13 > 0:31:14Maybe we should go.

0:31:14 > 0:31:15Yeah, let's go.

0:31:15 > 0:31:16Why? They ain't coming back.

0:31:16 > 0:31:18WHISTLES

0:31:18 > 0:31:20Fellas...

0:31:20 > 0:31:21Forget about them.

0:31:21 > 0:31:23More room for us, huh?

0:31:23 > 0:31:24LAUGHING: Come on.

0:31:24 > 0:31:27You like what you see? Huh?

0:31:27 > 0:31:29Let's get involved.

0:31:35 > 0:31:38Whoo! Now that's what I'm talking about!

0:31:38 > 0:31:39Whoo!

0:31:39 > 0:31:42I saw your bikes over there, and I -

0:31:44 > 0:31:45Chicken fights, fellas?

0:31:47 > 0:31:48OFFICER: No?

0:31:48 > 0:31:49Plan B.

0:31:49 > 0:31:52Marco.

0:31:52 > 0:31:53Polo.

0:31:53 > 0:31:54Marc -

0:31:54 > 0:31:56Marco...

0:31:56 > 0:31:57Ha ha!

0:31:57 > 0:31:59Oh, ho. Marco!

0:32:09 > 0:32:11# I'm kickin' the plan

0:32:11 > 0:32:12# Before the plan gets me

0:32:12 > 0:32:14# I'm gonna get me

0:32:14 > 0:32:17# Get me out of here

0:32:19 > 0:32:21# I'm gonna get me

0:32:21 > 0:32:23# Get me out of here... #

0:32:24 > 0:32:27BOBBY: Thank you so much.

0:32:27 > 0:32:30And, uh, I left a window open, all right?

0:32:30 > 0:32:32# I don't mind how I live my life

0:32:32 > 0:32:34# Without the lucky guys

0:32:36 > 0:32:39# I ain't trying to keep in time

0:32:39 > 0:32:41# So just get off of my back

0:32:46 > 0:32:48# I don't mind how I live my life

0:32:48 > 0:32:50# Without the lucky guys

0:32:52 > 0:32:55# You won't hang your rusty sign

0:32:55 > 0:32:57# Around me... #

0:33:06 > 0:33:11Oh, yeah. Now this is a biker bar.

0:33:11 > 0:33:12I'm buying. Let's go.

0:33:14 > 0:33:16Hope they have bran muffins.

0:33:16 > 0:33:17I'm a little bound up.

0:33:23 > 0:33:24My damn leg's asleep.

0:33:24 > 0:33:26Oh, it's got an emblem, too. The FLH emblem.

0:33:26 > 0:33:28That is rare, man. Rare.

0:33:28 > 0:33:29You see this?

0:33:29 > 0:33:32Oh, man, that's beautiful.

0:33:32 > 0:33:33DOUG: What's wrong with you?

0:33:33 > 0:33:34My legs are stiff.

0:33:34 > 0:33:36BLUES MUSIC PLAYING

0:33:39 > 0:33:40MUSIC SLOWS DOWN, STOPS

0:33:47 > 0:33:48How about this one? Yeah.

0:33:52 > 0:33:53You guys want beers?

0:33:53 > 0:33:56..Guy with a '55 bike. Man, it is beautiful.

0:33:58 > 0:34:00Ooh. Nice tat.

0:34:01 > 0:34:02Where'd you get it?

0:34:02 > 0:34:05Leavenworth. You?

0:34:05 > 0:34:07Meadow Hills Galleria.

0:34:13 > 0:34:15Don't think I've ever seen you guys around here before.

0:34:17 > 0:34:18What's your...

0:34:18 > 0:34:19Hey, hey, hey.

0:34:19 > 0:34:21"Wild Hogs."

0:34:21 > 0:34:23That the name of your little gang?

0:34:23 > 0:34:24It's not a gang. We're just friends

0:34:24 > 0:34:26riding from Cincinnati to the coast.

0:34:26 > 0:34:28Hey, man. We in your seats?

0:34:28 > 0:34:29No. No, cos we -

0:34:29 > 0:34:32No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

0:34:32 > 0:34:34We were - Oh, no, no, no.

0:34:34 > 0:34:36No. I insist.

0:34:36 > 0:34:37Sit. Sit. Sit?

0:34:37 > 0:34:38I insist.

0:34:38 > 0:34:40I think I'm gonna join you fellas.

0:34:40 > 0:34:42Actually, we have a -

0:34:42 > 0:34:44MAN: Yeah, let's join them. Ahem.

0:34:44 > 0:34:48Make ourselves some nice new little friends.

0:34:48 > 0:34:50Nice patch. You get your grandmother

0:34:50 > 0:34:51to needlepoint that for ya?

0:34:51 > 0:34:53Well, what - what's going on

0:34:53 > 0:34:55with you there, uh, Cochise?

0:34:55 > 0:34:56What's your story?

0:35:04 > 0:35:06What is that supposed to be? Is he blind?

0:35:06 > 0:35:08He was when he walked in here.

0:35:08 > 0:35:10Hey! I'm talkin' to you!

0:35:10 > 0:35:11You hear me?

0:35:11 > 0:35:13He can hear fine.

0:35:13 > 0:35:15Look, we're - we don't want any trouble.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18CHUCKLES: I do. Huh.

0:35:18 > 0:35:20Actually, that's what I'm

0:35:20 > 0:35:22lookin' forward to the most.

0:35:22 > 0:35:23LAUGHTER

0:35:23 > 0:35:25MAN: That's what he's looking forward to. Ha ha!

0:35:25 > 0:35:27HE LAUGHS

0:35:27 > 0:35:28Hey, I heard. Hey, I heard.

0:35:28 > 0:35:31LAUGHTER

0:35:31 > 0:35:32Shut up.

0:35:34 > 0:35:35All right, then.

0:35:37 > 0:35:38You lookin' for trouble?

0:35:38 > 0:35:41TAPPING TABLE

0:35:41 > 0:35:43Got to be careful about Bobby here.

0:35:43 > 0:35:45His temper's like a Roman candle.

0:35:45 > 0:35:47That's a damn lie.

0:35:47 > 0:35:50On the other hand, Woody over here,

0:35:50 > 0:35:52you get him mad, people get broke.

0:35:54 > 0:35:56Doug makes kids cry.

0:35:56 > 0:35:58What? Yeah. You make kids cry.

0:35:58 > 0:36:00BOBBY: You made my child cry.

0:36:00 > 0:36:02Your kid was crying before she got to me.

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Oh, but I asked you to give her a lollipop.

0:36:04 > 0:36:05It calms her down. You can't...

0:36:05 > 0:36:07All right. Shut up!

0:36:07 > 0:36:09You know what? I think

0:36:09 > 0:36:10we better get out of here.

0:36:10 > 0:36:13No. We'll get out of here at sundown,

0:36:13 > 0:36:15After we've had our beverage.

0:36:15 > 0:36:17Sundown, hoss? What?

0:36:17 > 0:36:19DUDLEY: These are on me.

0:36:20 > 0:36:22You got the mocha lattes yesterday.

0:36:22 > 0:36:26LAUGHS

0:36:26 > 0:36:28Ah! Another Wild Hog!

0:36:28 > 0:36:32Yup. Yup-a-roonie. That's our gang.

0:36:32 > 0:36:36Hey, who owns that '48 Panhead outside?

0:36:36 > 0:36:37That's my '48.

0:36:37 > 0:36:39Suh-weet ride.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41I'm sick of it.

0:36:42 > 0:36:43How about a trade, there, brother?

0:36:43 > 0:36:44DOUG: Dudley, Dudley...

0:36:44 > 0:36:47I wish. I'm just on a Sportster.

0:36:47 > 0:36:48It's worth, like, half of what yours is.

0:36:48 > 0:36:50A Sportster. I grew up on a Sportster.

0:36:50 > 0:36:52I've been wanting another Sportster!

0:36:52 > 0:36:54No, no, no. It's even better than that.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56In the gas tank is one of my shoelaces.

0:36:56 > 0:36:57I dropped it in there when I was

0:36:57 > 0:36:59trying to get my calculator watch out.

0:36:59 > 0:37:00LAUGHS

0:37:00 > 0:37:02Dudley? Dudley.

0:37:02 > 0:37:04Dudley? You got a deal.

0:37:04 > 0:37:06Seriously?

0:37:06 > 0:37:08Think about it. He's not gonna trade the bike, Dudley.

0:37:08 > 0:37:10Dudley, I want to see what you look like on that.

0:37:10 > 0:37:12You're on. Ahh!

0:37:12 > 0:37:16DUDLEY: What do I got to do? We got to call the DMV?

0:37:16 > 0:37:17Yo, check this out.

0:37:17 > 0:37:20Anybody else get that pre-rape feeling?

0:37:20 > 0:37:23I do. HE LAUGHS

0:37:27 > 0:37:29Oh, wow. This is great!

0:37:29 > 0:37:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

0:37:30 > 0:37:32This is Joker's Panhead.

0:37:32 > 0:37:33I thought we were talking about this one.

0:37:33 > 0:37:34Your Panhead is over here.

0:37:35 > 0:37:37Oh. I was talking about the -

0:37:37 > 0:37:39No, no, no, no, no.

0:37:39 > 0:37:40I got a better one for you.

0:37:41 > 0:37:42It's right over here.

0:37:42 > 0:37:44The red one. The Panhead.

0:37:44 > 0:37:45Where? Right there.

0:37:45 > 0:37:47That's a Panhead. There are no other Panheads.

0:37:47 > 0:37:49That? That's a pile of junk.

0:37:49 > 0:37:53LAUGHS: That's your pile of junk.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55LAUGHTER

0:37:57 > 0:37:58DOUG: He's just joking...

0:37:58 > 0:38:00You want to know the joke?

0:38:00 > 0:38:01The joke is suburban assholes

0:38:01 > 0:38:02who buy leather outfits

0:38:02 > 0:38:04who think they're bikers,

0:38:04 > 0:38:06and it's a joke that I'm damn sick of.

0:38:06 > 0:38:07You want to know who a real biker is?

0:38:07 > 0:38:10Damian Blade. He founded the Del Fuegos

0:38:10 > 0:38:13And he built this bar for real bikers, not this.

0:38:13 > 0:38:15Hey, we have a right to be bikers.

0:38:15 > 0:38:16You don't have any rights. Shut up.

0:38:16 > 0:38:19I knew you assholes the minute I laid eyes on you.

0:38:19 > 0:38:20Look at the four of you.

0:38:20 > 0:38:21You don't know us.

0:38:21 > 0:38:22You don't think I know you?

0:38:22 > 0:38:25Well, you're probably a -a podiatrist

0:38:25 > 0:38:27or - or ear, nose, and throat specialist.

0:38:27 > 0:38:28I wish.

0:38:28 > 0:38:30Orthodontist?

0:38:30 > 0:38:32Oh, close enough.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34And you, Bobby. Guaranteed you're henpecked.

0:38:34 > 0:38:36Right? Your wife wears the pants.

0:38:36 > 0:38:37You know my wife?

0:38:37 > 0:38:40And you, you anal-retentive wimp.

0:38:40 > 0:38:42Guarantee you bag your own shit.

0:38:42 > 0:38:45Wow. You're good. What colour am I thinking of?

0:38:45 > 0:38:47Shut up.

0:38:47 > 0:38:50And you're the biggest poser of them all.

0:38:50 > 0:38:51Aren't you, Squinty?

0:38:52 > 0:38:55Go home. Just go home.

0:38:55 > 0:38:56Go home. You couldn't handle

0:38:56 > 0:38:57this freedom anyhow.

0:38:57 > 0:38:58Get out of here.

0:38:58 > 0:39:00Go back to your safe, little lives.

0:39:00 > 0:39:01All right, guys. Let's get our bikes. We'll get out of here.

0:39:01 > 0:39:03You're not listening to what I'm saying.

0:39:03 > 0:39:04I'm taking your friend's bike

0:39:04 > 0:39:05and you guys are gonna hit the road

0:39:05 > 0:39:07and go back to wherever the hell

0:39:07 > 0:39:08it is that you came from.

0:39:08 > 0:39:09Do you understand?

0:39:09 > 0:39:10I'm just saying we're gonna

0:39:10 > 0:39:11have to work something out.

0:39:11 > 0:39:14All right. Let's work something out.

0:39:14 > 0:39:16# Keep on chooglin'

0:39:17 > 0:39:20# Keep on chooglin'

0:39:20 > 0:39:25# Keep on chooglin', chooglin', chooglin'... #

0:39:28 > 0:39:30Hey, what's going on?

0:39:30 > 0:39:32Something break?

0:39:32 > 0:39:33BOBBY: What's up, man? What's happening?

0:39:33 > 0:39:36This is bullshit, man. We should go back there

0:39:36 > 0:39:36and get Dudley's bike.

0:39:36 > 0:39:38That's why we're stopping?

0:39:38 > 0:39:39What are you, nuts?

0:39:39 > 0:39:41What we're gonna do is call the police.

0:39:41 > 0:39:42I got to borrow somebody's cell phone.

0:39:42 > 0:39:44Einstein had us throw ours away, remember?

0:39:44 > 0:39:46Hey, look, man, damn the bike.

0:39:46 > 0:39:48He's just gonna have to roll with that little sidecar.

0:39:48 > 0:39:50Let's just get up out of here, man.

0:39:50 > 0:39:52Oh, come on. The trip is over

0:39:52 > 0:39:53because some tattooed bullies

0:39:53 > 0:39:54pushed us around?

0:39:54 > 0:39:55Both: Yeah.

0:39:56 > 0:39:57I go where you go.

0:39:57 > 0:39:59Good. See? He's got balls.

0:39:59 > 0:40:01No. I mean, my sidecar's attached to your bike.

0:40:01 > 0:40:03I'd rather turn back, but honestly,

0:40:03 > 0:40:04how far could I roll?

0:40:04 > 0:40:05I'm not gonna let this happen to him.

0:40:05 > 0:40:07I say we go back and we get his bike.

0:40:07 > 0:40:09You? Yeah.

0:40:09 > 0:40:10Well, who died and elected you pope?

0:40:10 > 0:40:11This isn't about Dudley, is it?

0:40:11 > 0:40:12This is about you.

0:40:12 > 0:40:14You, you, you. All through high school,

0:40:14 > 0:40:15it's always been about you, and I am sick of it.

0:40:15 > 0:40:17Oh, screw you, Doug.

0:40:17 > 0:40:18You know, it's not my fault you hate your life.

0:40:18 > 0:40:20I love my life..

0:40:20 > 0:40:21Let me tell you something.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23This trip was supposed to be about adventure,

0:40:23 > 0:40:24but, no, you're too busy

0:40:24 > 0:40:27dragging your baggage around to let that happen.

0:40:27 > 0:40:28Oh, Thank you, Dr Freud.

0:40:28 > 0:40:30Look, I'm not going back to get that bike

0:40:30 > 0:40:32to satisfy your bruised ego.

0:40:32 > 0:40:33Are you guys with me?

0:40:33 > 0:40:34I'm with you.

0:40:34 > 0:40:35DUDLEY: Yeah, I agree.

0:40:35 > 0:40:36There you go, Woody. We're not going

0:40:36 > 0:40:39Back there with you.

0:40:39 > 0:40:40DUDLEY: should we go after him?

0:40:40 > 0:40:41DOUG: Probably.

0:40:41 > 0:40:42Are we going to?

0:40:42 > 0:40:44Nope. Nope.

0:40:52 > 0:40:54INDISTINCT CHATTER

0:40:56 > 0:40:57BILLIARD BALL SMACKING

0:41:21 > 0:41:25# Oh, all right

0:41:35 > 0:41:36# Yeah...! #

0:41:40 > 0:41:42Come after us now assholes.

0:41:47 > 0:41:51# Oh, well, I'm a cowboy

0:41:51 > 0:41:54# On a steel horse I ride

0:41:54 > 0:41:56# I'm wanted

0:41:56 > 0:41:57# Wanted

0:41:57 > 0:42:01# Dead or alive... #

0:42:01 > 0:42:03Son of a gun.

0:42:03 > 0:42:04Holy snot.

0:42:04 > 0:42:06You did it. You got her back.

0:42:06 > 0:42:08Whoo-hoo!

0:42:08 > 0:42:10Ha!

0:42:10 > 0:42:11Who's your daddy.

0:42:11 > 0:42:12You are my daddy.

0:42:12 > 0:42:13Yeah. That's right, baby.

0:42:13 > 0:42:14Oh, man.

0:42:14 > 0:42:16Ha ha! Thank you.

0:42:16 > 0:42:18How did you do it?

0:42:18 > 0:42:19OK, they were totally pissed off.

0:42:19 > 0:42:22So I had to take a new tactic - reality.

0:42:22 > 0:42:25So I said to them, "OK, assault us. No problem

0:42:25 > 0:42:27"because we may not be real bikers, but we know real lawyers.

0:42:27 > 0:42:30"And as soon as you touch us, we'll sue you for everything you got

0:42:30 > 0:42:32"and everything you're gonna have."

0:42:32 > 0:42:34And they backed down. They totally backed down.

0:42:34 > 0:42:36It was awesome.

0:42:36 > 0:42:37You really said that?

0:42:37 > 0:42:38Yeah! My man!

0:42:38 > 0:42:41Yeah. Show me love. Show me love.

0:42:41 > 0:42:44Hey, guess what. The trip's back on.

0:42:44 > 0:42:45It's back on! The trip is on!

0:42:45 > 0:42:47DOUG: Woody, we're gonna go back that way, then?

0:42:47 > 0:42:48Yeah, they don't care.

0:42:48 > 0:42:50We should just, you know, do it

0:42:50 > 0:42:52Before they change their minds.

0:42:52 > 0:42:53DUDLEY: Pacific Ocean, here we come!

0:42:53 > 0:42:54Whoo!

0:43:02 > 0:43:04INDISTINCT CHATTER

0:43:07 > 0:43:09Son of a bitch.

0:43:09 > 0:43:10Come on.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12Come on! Let's do it!

0:43:12 > 0:43:14# Livin' easy

0:43:14 > 0:43:17# Livin' free

0:43:17 > 0:43:20# Season ticket on a one-way ride

0:43:20 > 0:43:22# Asking nothing

0:43:22 > 0:43:24# Leave me be

0:43:24 > 0:43:28# Taking everything in my stride... #

0:43:28 > 0:43:30HONKS HORN Thanks, guys.

0:43:30 > 0:43:32# ..Don't need rhyme

0:43:32 > 0:43:35# Ain't nothing I would rather do... #

0:43:35 > 0:43:38Those assholes have got balls.

0:43:38 > 0:43:40Gonna - gonna put in my mouth and chew on them!

0:43:42 > 0:43:43You're gonna put what in your mouth?

0:43:46 > 0:43:48Come on, Del Fuegos. Let's smoke those Hogs!

0:43:48 > 0:43:49Come on! Move!

0:43:49 > 0:43:50Let's go! Come on!

0:43:50 > 0:43:51I'm with you!

0:43:51 > 0:43:53# ..Highway to hell

0:43:53 > 0:43:57# Highway to hell

0:43:57 > 0:43:59# I'm on the highway to hell... #

0:43:59 > 0:44:00What the...

0:44:00 > 0:44:03Ah, shit!

0:44:03 > 0:44:04Fire, fire!

0:44:04 > 0:44:05Fire, everybody. Hey!

0:44:05 > 0:44:06Fire. Come on! Get off!

0:44:06 > 0:44:08Fire, fire! Get away. Come on!

0:44:08 > 0:44:10# Nobody's gonna slow me down... #

0:44:10 > 0:44:11Get out of there!

0:44:11 > 0:44:13Get out of there!

0:44:13 > 0:44:15No.

0:44:15 > 0:44:16ALL SHOUTING

0:44:19 > 0:44:22# ..Hey, Satan!

0:44:22 > 0:44:27# Paid my dues playin' in a rockin' band

0:44:27 > 0:44:28# Hey, mama... #

0:44:28 > 0:44:31WOODY: Holy shit!

0:44:31 > 0:44:33Oh, god. Oh, no.

0:44:36 > 0:44:38Come on! Let's go!

0:44:38 > 0:44:40DOUG: What's your rush? My balls are still vibrating.

0:44:40 > 0:44:42It's -it's the open road, man.

0:44:42 > 0:44:44It's riding free. That's the rush.

0:44:44 > 0:44:46This isn't freedom. This is a gas station

0:44:46 > 0:44:47built by the man!

0:44:47 > 0:44:49A prison for our souls!

0:44:49 > 0:44:50My soul needs something to drink.

0:44:50 > 0:44:51I need gas.

0:44:51 > 0:44:53We'll get gas at the next station.

0:44:53 > 0:44:54Come on, Wild Hogs.

0:44:54 > 0:44:56Let's go!

0:44:56 > 0:44:57Whoo-hoo!

0:44:57 > 0:44:59Let's ride! Whoo...

0:44:59 > 0:45:00Did I miss the espresso stop?

0:45:00 > 0:45:03Whoa. He's moving.

0:45:03 > 0:45:06Whoo-hoo!

0:45:11 > 0:45:15# I'm on the highway to hell

0:45:16 > 0:45:20# And I'm goin' down... #

0:45:26 > 0:45:28Woody, you're an asshole!

0:45:28 > 0:45:30WOODY: Ugh! They should've had a sign that said,

0:45:30 > 0:45:33"Last gas X amount of miles."

0:45:36 > 0:45:38SQUAWKING

0:45:38 > 0:45:40I need something to drink. I'm thirsty

0:45:40 > 0:45:42or else I'm-a die!

0:45:42 > 0:45:45DOUG: You know, I keep saving my spit

0:45:45 > 0:45:48so it's like a drink of water, and it just keeps tasting like

0:45:48 > 0:45:49my spit.

0:45:49 > 0:45:51BOBBY: They say you can get something to drink

0:45:51 > 0:45:54out of a cactus, right?

0:45:54 > 0:45:55Where are the cactuses?

0:45:55 > 0:45:57We're in a desert that don't have no damn cactuses?

0:45:57 > 0:45:59Yeah.

0:45:59 > 0:46:03Actually, I think when it's plural, it's "cacti."

0:46:03 > 0:46:04I'm killing him.

0:46:04 > 0:46:05DOUG: You're gonna kill him?

0:46:05 > 0:46:07Hey, we're all thinking it, OK?

0:46:07 > 0:46:08We're gonna need the nourishment.

0:46:08 > 0:46:09He'll put up the least struggle.

0:46:09 > 0:46:11Move out of the way.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13You love Dudley. It's the sun.

0:46:13 > 0:46:14It's making us all crazy.

0:46:14 > 0:46:15You right, man.

0:46:15 > 0:46:17My -my -my bad, dud.

0:46:17 > 0:46:19You know, I don't know what came over me.

0:46:19 > 0:46:21Dehydration.

0:46:21 > 0:46:22Your blood's thickening,

0:46:22 > 0:46:24so your heart's working harder to pump it

0:46:24 > 0:46:25through your arteries.

0:46:25 > 0:46:26Less gets to your head.

0:46:26 > 0:46:28Our bodies are literally trying to drink themselves.

0:46:28 > 0:46:30All right. I'm killing him.

0:46:30 > 0:46:32DOUG: Guys, wait a minute. Look. They got a sign up here.

0:46:32 > 0:46:33Look. Curve of the road.

0:46:33 > 0:46:35Read it!

0:46:35 > 0:46:36"Madrid"? Spain?

0:46:36 > 0:46:37No. It's Ma-drid.

0:46:37 > 0:46:39That's what the locals say. I Googled it.

0:46:39 > 0:46:42DOUG: Gonna be water, food, and gas.

0:46:42 > 0:46:43We're gonna live.

0:46:43 > 0:46:46We gonna live!

0:46:46 > 0:46:47We gonna live, baby!

0:46:52 > 0:46:53WOODY: It's closed.

0:46:53 > 0:46:55DOUG: Ah, man. It's closed.

0:46:55 > 0:46:58DOUG: There's a diner up here.

0:46:58 > 0:47:00WOODY: The diner's open. Come on!

0:47:02 > 0:47:03WOODY: Give me a drink quick!

0:47:03 > 0:47:04We need water!

0:47:04 > 0:47:06Quick! Oh, jeez.

0:47:06 > 0:47:08Come on. Spray, spray, spray!

0:47:08 > 0:47:10Oh, man.

0:47:10 > 0:47:12Me -me! You?

0:47:12 > 0:47:14WOODY: Me! BOBBY: Right here.

0:47:14 > 0:47:16DOUG GROWLS

0:47:16 > 0:47:18I need it back.

0:47:18 > 0:47:20Now you.

0:47:20 > 0:47:21They were just here 3 weeks ago.

0:47:21 > 0:47:22And they're already getting violent.

0:47:22 > 0:47:25It's OK. Ooh, I got it.

0:47:25 > 0:47:27HE BURPS

0:47:29 > 0:47:31Would you gentlemen like a seat?

0:47:31 > 0:47:32Is there a booth open?

0:47:32 > 0:47:33WOMAN: Let's go! Come on!

0:47:33 > 0:47:35DOUG: We, uh -what?

0:47:37 > 0:47:39Uh, nice town.

0:47:42 > 0:47:47So, uh, I...

0:47:47 > 0:47:49Uh...

0:47:56 > 0:47:58DUDLEY: She is perfect.

0:47:58 > 0:48:00You like the waitress?

0:48:00 > 0:48:01Oh, man.

0:48:01 > 0:48:03I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of

0:48:03 > 0:48:05was black jokes.

0:48:05 > 0:48:07Like which ones?

0:48:07 > 0:48:08I forget.

0:48:08 > 0:48:10Why don't you tell the one

0:48:10 > 0:48:12that ends with you getting your ass whupped?

0:48:12 > 0:48:13Would that be funny?

0:48:13 > 0:48:15I'll be laughing.

0:48:15 > 0:48:17Oh, I'll be cracking up. Ha ha!

0:48:18 > 0:48:20DOUG: It's the law.

0:48:27 > 0:48:28You boys here for the chilli festival?

0:48:28 > 0:48:30What, you have a problem?

0:48:30 > 0:48:32You look like you just saw something explode

0:48:32 > 0:48:33or something, all right.

0:48:33 > 0:48:35We're just passing through, man.

0:48:35 > 0:48:38The people around here don't want any more trouble.

0:48:38 > 0:48:40Now me, I got no problem with you Del Fuegos

0:48:40 > 0:48:42as long as you boys could stay sober.

0:48:42 > 0:48:44No, no. No, we're...

0:48:44 > 0:48:45We're not associated with those assholes.

0:48:45 > 0:48:47You're not? No.

0:48:47 > 0:48:48For real?

0:48:48 > 0:48:49Yeah.

0:48:49 > 0:48:53Folks, they're not Del Fuegos.

0:48:53 > 0:48:54MAN: Good Lord.

0:48:54 > 0:48:57BOBBY: Are the Del Fuegos a problem around here?

0:48:57 > 0:48:59Only if you expect 'em to pay for a meal they just ate

0:48:59 > 0:49:01or a beer they just drank.

0:49:01 > 0:49:02You won't have any problems with us. No, no.

0:49:02 > 0:49:04Then welcome to Madrid.

0:49:04 > 0:49:06Excuse me, Sheriff?

0:49:06 > 0:49:06Uh, the Del Fuegos?

0:49:06 > 0:49:08Yeah.

0:49:08 > 0:49:11OK, now, how often might they come through this town?

0:49:11 > 0:49:14Oh, once every few months. Oh?

0:49:14 > 0:49:16Yeah. Yeah.

0:49:16 > 0:49:17And the gas station, now, when would that be open?

0:49:17 > 0:49:19That's closed on Sundays.

0:49:19 > 0:49:20So tomorrow morning.

0:49:20 > 0:49:23But, you know, maybe you should seriously consider

0:49:23 > 0:49:25spending the night.

0:49:25 > 0:49:27Because we're having the world's hottest chilli contest.

0:49:27 > 0:49:30The chilli festival is not something you want to miss.

0:49:30 > 0:49:33Last year, somebody's throat actually started to bleed.

0:49:33 > 0:49:35Oh, damn!

0:49:35 > 0:49:37Somebody's throat started to bleed?

0:49:37 > 0:49:38Yeah. Changed their life.

0:49:38 > 0:49:41It's great. Think about it.

0:49:41 > 0:49:43We gotta -we got to get out of this town, man.

0:49:43 > 0:49:45This town is a drag. We got to move on.

0:49:45 > 0:49:46We got to find a way out.

0:49:46 > 0:49:48Woody, chill out, man.

0:49:48 > 0:49:49We finally get a chance to relax.

0:49:49 > 0:49:51Yeah. And being able to use a bathroom,

0:49:51 > 0:49:53That might be a good idea.

0:49:53 > 0:49:54And I can empty my poop bag.

0:49:54 > 0:49:56And you gonna reuse the bag?

0:49:56 > 0:49:58Woody, remember the theme of this trip?

0:49:58 > 0:50:00"Whatever," remember? "Whatever."

0:50:00 > 0:50:02Ok, fine! Fine.

0:50:02 > 0:50:04We'll stay the night, and then we'll get gas in the morning. OK?

0:50:04 > 0:50:05Calm down.

0:50:05 > 0:50:06I just don't understand what your rush is.

0:50:06 > 0:50:08I'm not in a rush, man.

0:50:08 > 0:50:10I just want to ride, man. I just want to ride.

0:50:10 > 0:50:11You know...

0:50:11 > 0:50:13# Ride, sally, ride! #

0:50:13 > 0:50:14You are so weird.

0:50:14 > 0:50:15He asks the -

0:50:15 > 0:50:17You say the weirdest things, man.

0:50:17 > 0:50:18You're just like, "we're digging the roots,

0:50:18 > 0:50:20"buying real estate" and shit.

0:50:20 > 0:50:21Yeah. Why don't you just...

0:50:21 > 0:50:22SOBS SOFTLY

0:50:22 > 0:50:24What?!

0:50:24 > 0:50:25What?

0:50:33 > 0:50:35All right. Everybody come here.

0:50:35 > 0:50:36Come on.

0:50:38 > 0:50:42All right. We're here.

0:50:42 > 0:50:43Right? They could be in any of these towns by now.

0:50:43 > 0:50:45Right around here.

0:50:45 > 0:50:47All right? But we're gonna find them, we're gonna get 'em.

0:50:47 > 0:50:49I don't know, Jack.

0:50:49 > 0:50:50By my calculations...

0:50:50 > 0:50:51I'm thinking, you know,

0:50:51 > 0:50:53if they're 4 hours ahead of us, we -

0:50:53 > 0:50:54Shut up!

0:50:54 > 0:50:57Anybody else want to tell me how hard this is gonna be?

0:50:57 > 0:50:59Huh? Any other naysayers?

0:50:59 > 0:51:03Good. I want you to break up into two-man teams.

0:51:03 > 0:51:04You call me when you find 'em.

0:51:06 > 0:51:08MUSIC PLAYING

0:51:12 > 0:51:14# I'm just a bachelor

0:51:14 > 0:51:16# I'm a-lookin' for a partner

0:51:16 > 0:51:20# Someone who knows how to ride

0:51:20 > 0:51:23# Without even falling off

0:51:23 > 0:51:26# Got to be compatible

0:51:26 > 0:51:30# Mm, take me to my limits

0:51:30 > 0:51:34# Girl, when I break you off... #

0:51:34 > 0:51:36Oh, snap.

0:51:36 > 0:51:38A softball pitch.

0:51:38 > 0:51:40I got to win something for my girls.

0:51:40 > 0:51:42Wait a minute. You think you're good at this?

0:51:42 > 0:51:43Oh, I know I'm good at this.

0:51:43 > 0:51:45Hey, on my little league team, they used to call me

0:51:45 > 0:51:47bull's-eye Bobby. Yeah.

0:51:47 > 0:51:49cos I had pinpoint control. Right.

0:51:49 > 0:51:52A 144 innings and never walked a single batter, baby.

0:51:52 > 0:51:54Watch me work, baby. Here you go.

0:51:54 > 0:51:56How you doing?

0:51:56 > 0:51:57All right. Good luck.

0:51:57 > 0:51:59DOUG: all right. Bull's-eye Bobby, folks!

0:51:59 > 0:52:00CHUCKLES

0:52:00 > 0:52:03Bull's eye Bobby, baby.

0:52:03 > 0:52:06Well, it's probably been, what, 28 years, bulls-eye?

0:52:06 > 0:52:08BOBBY: Ohh.

0:52:12 > 0:52:15Hey. Hi.

0:52:15 > 0:52:17So, um...

0:52:19 > 0:52:20Excuse me?

0:52:20 > 0:52:21Never mind.

0:52:21 > 0:52:23So you like chilli?

0:52:23 > 0:52:25Oh, yeah. Not the hot stuff.

0:52:25 > 0:52:27But you put a nice, mild turkey chilli in front of me?

0:52:27 > 0:52:28Oh, yeah, I'm gonna eat it.

0:52:28 > 0:52:30That's too bad cos I wanted you to try mine,

0:52:30 > 0:52:32but it's pretty hot.

0:52:32 > 0:52:34No, I'll try it! I like your kind of hot -

0:52:34 > 0:52:36in your chilli - the chilli hot, food hot.

0:52:36 > 0:52:40That's the kind of hot I want to kiss - eat.

0:52:40 > 0:52:42OK. If you're sure you can handle it.

0:52:42 > 0:52:43Handle it?

0:52:43 > 0:52:45I'm a biker.

0:52:45 > 0:52:47What'd you call him?

0:52:47 > 0:52:48Bull's-eye Bobby!

0:52:48 > 0:52:49Bull's-eye Bobby, baby.

0:52:49 > 0:52:51Yeah! Bull's-eye.

0:52:51 > 0:52:52Yep.

0:52:54 > 0:52:55Oh...

0:52:55 > 0:52:58I guess that counts as a walk.

0:52:58 > 0:53:01I'm gonna sit. Huh.

0:53:02 > 0:53:04# I know you like me

0:53:04 > 0:53:05# I know you like me

0:53:05 > 0:53:07# I know you do

0:53:07 > 0:53:09# I know you do

0:53:09 > 0:53:13# That's why whenever I come around

0:53:13 > 0:53:16# She's all over you... #

0:53:19 > 0:53:21Mm. Smooth.

0:53:21 > 0:53:22Tasty.

0:53:22 > 0:53:24A little - ahem. Spicy.

0:53:24 > 0:53:27It gets a little hotter as it sits in your throat there.

0:53:28 > 0:53:30You OK?

0:53:31 > 0:53:33You want some of this to cool you down?

0:53:38 > 0:53:40Don't worry. Your throat won't actually bleed.

0:53:42 > 0:53:44I understand.

0:53:47 > 0:53:51DUDLEY: Mother of God! I swallowed hot lava!

0:53:51 > 0:53:54# Mm, don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

0:53:54 > 0:53:56# Don't you wish

0:53:56 > 0:53:59# Your girlfriend was a freak like me...? #

0:53:59 > 0:54:01144 innings, you never hit anybody in the crotch like that?

0:54:01 > 0:54:03Not on purpose, man, all right?

0:54:03 > 0:54:04You all right?

0:54:04 > 0:54:06Yeah, it's a good fastball.

0:54:06 > 0:54:08SHERIFF: Hey I'd like you boys to meet my deputies,

0:54:08 > 0:54:09Earl and Buck Dooble.

0:54:09 > 0:54:11WOODY: How are you, Earl?

0:54:11 > 0:54:11I'm Earl. He's Buck.

0:54:11 > 0:54:13DOUG: Earl, Buck.

0:54:13 > 0:54:16Now, just remember: brother with the word "ear" in his name has got

0:54:16 > 0:54:18both on his head. Heh heh!

0:54:18 > 0:54:22See, I can only say that cos I'm on his right side,

0:54:22 > 0:54:23which, as you can see, is mostly blown off.

0:54:23 > 0:54:25You say something, Earl?

0:54:25 > 0:54:26No, I did not.

0:54:26 > 0:54:29SHERIFF: Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore.

0:54:29 > 0:54:32I mean, sometimes you pull 'em out,

0:54:32 > 0:54:34you think they're not loaded, and then sometimes -

0:54:34 > 0:54:36They blow your deputy's ear off?

0:54:36 > 0:54:38Yeah.

0:54:40 > 0:54:42So what brings you boys on this trip anyway?

0:54:42 > 0:54:44Firstly, we had to get away, OK?

0:54:44 > 0:54:47And secondly, you know, you just never know

0:54:47 > 0:54:49how many more summers you've got left.

0:54:49 > 0:54:50Do you?

0:54:50 > 0:54:54Wow. That's deep.

0:54:54 > 0:54:56I just came on this trip, you know, hoping to reclaim

0:54:56 > 0:54:58the old Doug, you know?

0:54:58 > 0:55:01SHERIFF: You know, I know exactly what you mean.

0:55:01 > 0:55:05You know, you can never let life get too stagnant or too safe.

0:55:05 > 0:55:07Every now and then,

0:55:07 > 0:55:10you got to do what we folks around here like to call slap the bull.

0:55:10 > 0:55:11What's slapping the bull?

0:55:11 > 0:55:13That's just a little game we play

0:55:13 > 0:55:15to make sure your life is

0:55:15 > 0:55:16not controlled by fear.

0:55:16 > 0:55:18Yeah, I want to do that.

0:55:18 > 0:55:19WOODY: Oh, come on, guys.

0:55:19 > 0:55:20We're exhausted.

0:55:20 > 0:55:22I think we should just put the bikes

0:55:22 > 0:55:23in back of the hotel

0:55:23 > 0:55:25in a shed with the doors closed, perhaps,

0:55:25 > 0:55:27and then play Scrabble in the - in the room

0:55:27 > 0:55:28with the shades down.

0:55:28 > 0:55:31Look, Aunt Bee, maybe we want to do something else

0:55:31 > 0:55:32here in Mayberry.

0:55:32 > 0:55:33BOBBY: Yeah.

0:55:33 > 0:55:35How, Bobby, how about a little bull slap?

0:55:35 > 0:55:36That sounds like something I could win at.

0:55:36 > 0:55:37Yeah.

0:55:37 > 0:55:39I'll take a little bull slap.

0:55:39 > 0:55:40Yeah. A bull slap for everybody. Come on.

0:55:40 > 0:55:42Line 'em up. Let's have a little bull slap.

0:55:42 > 0:55:43SHERIFF: We'll do it!

0:55:44 > 0:55:46So literally, we're gonna slap a bull?

0:55:46 > 0:55:49EARL: Yep. Right on the ass.

0:55:49 > 0:55:50And then you're gonna wanna hightail it out of there.

0:55:50 > 0:55:51WOODY: why?

0:55:51 > 0:55:52Cos he can kill you.

0:55:52 > 0:55:54Perfect.

0:55:54 > 0:55:56Hey, man, I thought this was a drinking game.

0:55:56 > 0:55:58Yeah, you know, you got a lot of animals I would slap.

0:55:58 > 0:56:00You know, a chicken. I'd slap a chicken

0:56:00 > 0:56:01or a goat, maybe.

0:56:01 > 0:56:03A ferret I'd slap, you know?

0:56:03 > 0:56:05But I'm not gonna slap a bull.

0:56:05 > 0:56:08Oh, come on, Doug. It was your idea. Get in there!

0:56:08 > 0:56:09I didn't know - we had to slap something -

0:56:09 > 0:56:10Look at the nuts on that thing! WOODY: Come on!

0:56:10 > 0:56:12DOUG: It's not safe, Woody.

0:56:12 > 0:56:13It's not safe. You know what?

0:56:13 > 0:56:15You snooze, you lose. I'm going.

0:56:15 > 0:56:16You're getting ready to do that?

0:56:16 > 0:56:17Yep! Oh!

0:56:17 > 0:56:19DOUG: You jackass. Go ahead, Woody.

0:56:19 > 0:56:21Hope you're wearing a cup.

0:56:21 > 0:56:22BOBBY CHUCKLES

0:56:22 > 0:56:24Right on the ass.

0:56:24 > 0:56:25He looks confident.

0:56:25 > 0:56:26Easy.

0:56:35 > 0:56:36Go! Yeah!

0:56:36 > 0:56:37Come on! Get back!

0:56:37 > 0:56:40Whoo! Ha ha!

0:56:40 > 0:56:41Whoo!

0:56:41 > 0:56:42Way to get back!

0:56:42 > 0:56:45I just slapped a big fat bull on the ass!

0:56:45 > 0:56:47That was awesome!

0:56:47 > 0:56:48Who's next?

0:56:48 > 0:56:49Go on, Doug.

0:56:49 > 0:56:50Doug?

0:56:50 > 0:56:52Yeah, now, that'd be you, yeah.

0:56:52 > 0:56:53Come on, Doug. Do it!

0:56:53 > 0:56:55You know, it's - it - you could -

0:56:55 > 0:56:56That's really an, um...

0:56:56 > 0:56:58Doug, go.

0:56:58 > 0:56:59Come on, man!

0:56:59 > 0:57:01Handle your business.

0:57:01 > 0:57:02It was easy.

0:57:02 > 0:57:03I'm not gonna...

0:57:03 > 0:57:05Yeah, come on! It's fun!

0:57:05 > 0:57:07Old days, Doug. Old days.

0:57:07 > 0:57:08All right, all right. I'm gonna slap a bull.

0:57:08 > 0:57:11I'm gonna slap that bull.

0:57:11 > 0:57:12There you go. That's my Doug!

0:57:12 > 0:57:13There he goes.

0:57:15 > 0:57:16Just slap it right there on the rear end, huh?

0:57:16 > 0:57:19Right on the hind haunches.

0:57:21 > 0:57:23WOODY: You know, this is so good for Doug.

0:57:23 > 0:57:25BOBBY: Actually, this is good for all of us.

0:57:25 > 0:57:27Yeah. Hey, Charley, thanks for bringing us here, man.

0:57:27 > 0:57:29Sure. Glad we could help.

0:57:29 > 0:57:31Yeah, and we never seen it done twice in a row.

0:57:31 > 0:57:32What?

0:57:32 > 0:57:34It'll be interesting to see

0:57:34 > 0:57:35how the bull takes being slapped... Mm-hmm.

0:57:35 > 0:57:36Now that he's alert.

0:57:36 > 0:57:38EARL: Mm-hmm.

0:57:38 > 0:57:39Alert? Alert?

0:57:39 > 0:57:41GRUNTING

0:57:42 > 0:57:43Get back! Come on. Run, run, run!

0:57:43 > 0:57:44Don't have much time. Now, hurry! Hurry!

0:57:44 > 0:57:47Go, go! Come on!

0:57:47 > 0:57:48Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:57:48 > 0:57:50Oh! Oh!

0:57:50 > 0:57:52Ow, ow.

0:57:52 > 0:57:53He coming back!

0:57:53 > 0:57:55Got to run, champ. He's coming!

0:57:57 > 0:57:58Bull!

0:57:58 > 0:58:00He coming back!

0:58:00 > 0:58:01He coming back! Oh! Oh! Oh!

0:58:01 > 0:58:04Oh! Oh! He almost got me!

0:58:04 > 0:58:05Come on! What's this bully want?

0:58:05 > 0:58:07Come on, bully!

0:58:07 > 0:58:09You don't want to use mockery! That never works!

0:58:09 > 0:58:12Cowboy's in trouble!

0:58:12 > 0:58:14Woody, maybe if you just try to reason with it!

0:58:14 > 0:58:16CHARLEY: He's coming back for more! Look out!

0:58:16 > 0:58:19He's more afraid of you than you are of him!

0:58:19 > 0:58:22CHARLEY: Watch out! Watch out, watch out.

0:58:22 > 0:58:23Come on!

0:58:23 > 0:58:25Come on. Let's go.

0:58:27 > 0:58:29MEN CHEERING

0:58:29 > 0:58:30What?!

0:58:30 > 0:58:33WOODY: Yeah, man, this is living!

0:58:33 > 0:58:34Yeah, we slapped a bull on the ass!

0:58:34 > 0:58:36CHARLEY: Yes, sir! Yeah!

0:58:36 > 0:58:38Yeah, you sure did.

0:58:38 > 0:58:41BOBBY: Hey, did y'all see my moves?

0:58:41 > 0:58:44I was shaking and baking just like the NFL, baby!

0:58:44 > 0:58:46You hear what I'm saying?

0:58:46 > 0:58:49I delivered it right to the end zo...

0:58:58 > 0:59:01# When I get home, babe

0:59:01 > 0:59:03# Gonna light your fire

0:59:03 > 0:59:05# All day I been thinkin' about you, babe

0:59:05 > 0:59:07# You're my one desire... #

0:59:07 > 0:59:08Hey, look at him.

0:59:08 > 0:59:09He threw Bobby 10 feet in the air. It was awful.

0:59:09 > 0:59:12Man, that damn bull kept following me around.

0:59:12 > 0:59:13You think it was my cologne?

0:59:13 > 0:59:15What are you wearing, Rodeo Clown?

0:59:15 > 0:59:17So now you got jokes? Is that it?

0:59:17 > 0:59:18LAUGHTER

0:59:18 > 0:59:20Hey, Woody, you know,

0:59:20 > 0:59:22I apologize for saying you had ego issues earlier. All right?

0:59:23 > 0:59:24I'm sorry I called you a pussy.

0:59:26 > 0:59:28You didn't call me a pussy.

0:59:28 > 0:59:31No, not to your face, but that's what I was thinking!

0:59:31 > 0:59:33LAUGHTER

0:59:33 > 0:59:34DOUG: Hey, Dudley, we were just saying

0:59:34 > 0:59:36how much fun this trip's turned out to be.

0:59:36 > 0:59:37I was so close this time! So close!

0:59:37 > 0:59:39What's the matter, Dudley?

0:59:39 > 0:59:41The waitress. I think she likes me.

0:59:41 > 0:59:43Good.

0:59:43 > 0:59:44No, it's not good.

0:59:44 > 0:59:45She told me to meet her on the dance floor.

0:59:45 > 0:59:47So? Go dance. So?

0:59:47 > 0:59:49I can't go on the dance floor.

0:59:49 > 0:59:50You know what I look like.

0:59:50 > 0:59:52The music moves me, but it moves me ugly.

0:59:52 > 0:59:54Well, do that -

0:59:54 > 0:59:55Go do the sprinkler thing you did at my wedding.

0:59:55 > 0:59:56BOBBY: Yeah, the sprinklers.

0:59:56 > 0:59:58No. I can't do the sprinkler.

0:59:58 > 0:59:59I've got to - I need to...

1:00:00 > 1:00:02No.

1:00:02 > 1:00:02Yes.

1:00:02 > 1:00:04I said no.

1:00:04 > 1:00:05Why don't we keep it simple?

1:00:05 > 1:00:08Why don't we just, uh - we'll do the lindy.

1:00:08 > 1:00:09All right.

1:00:09 > 1:00:10I'll be the guy, you be the girl.

1:00:10 > 1:00:11There we go.

1:00:11 > 1:00:12And it's just - remember?

1:00:12 > 1:00:13Yeah, right.

1:00:13 > 1:00:16It's one and 2 and 3 and 4.

1:00:16 > 1:00:17And turn her around, and start over again.

1:00:17 > 1:00:19Ok. Do it two times, and...

1:00:19 > 1:00:20Whatever you want.

1:00:20 > 1:00:21I'll be the guy.

1:00:21 > 1:00:22Be the guy. I'll be the girl.

1:00:22 > 1:00:23You ready?

1:00:23 > 1:00:25One and 2 and 3 and 4.

1:00:25 > 1:00:28And one and 2 and 3 and 4.

1:00:28 > 1:00:29And turn it around.

1:00:29 > 1:00:31Oh, yeah! Now we're doing -

1:00:31 > 1:00:33Oh, OK, that's enough. That's a good lesson.

1:00:33 > 1:00:34No, wait. Is that it?

1:00:34 > 1:00:35Yeah, that's enough.

1:00:35 > 1:00:36It's just a pocket knife.

1:00:38 > 1:00:39There she is.

1:00:39 > 1:00:41You're ready. Go.

1:00:41 > 1:00:42Yeah, let's do it.

1:00:42 > 1:00:43I'm ready.

1:00:43 > 1:00:44You're ready. Come on. Go.

1:00:44 > 1:00:46SWING MUSIC PLAYING

1:01:10 > 1:01:11SHE CHUCKLES

1:01:11 > 1:01:13Yeah!

1:01:18 > 1:01:19WAITRESS: Whoo!

1:01:19 > 1:01:21Check it out.

1:01:30 > 1:01:32Oh! Oh!

1:01:32 > 1:01:34Whoa, whoa. Whoa.

1:01:37 > 1:01:38DOUG AND WOODY: He's panicking.

1:01:54 > 1:01:57Whoo-hoo! Oh, oh.

1:02:06 > 1:02:09Hey, that's my phone.

1:02:09 > 1:02:11Your minutes just expired.

1:02:12 > 1:02:14Hey, hey. It's Murdock.

1:02:14 > 1:02:16Tell me you found them.

1:02:16 > 1:02:18We did. They're in Madrid.

1:02:18 > 1:02:20Ah, ha ha! Good.

1:02:20 > 1:02:22Good, good, good, good. I like Madrid.

1:02:22 > 1:02:24The ground is soft enough to bury them in.

1:02:24 > 1:02:25You want us to smack them around a little?

1:02:25 > 1:02:27JACK: No. No, no, no. Listen to me.

1:02:27 > 1:02:29You just make sure they stay there, OK,

1:02:29 > 1:02:30but do not touch them.

1:02:30 > 1:02:32They're mine.

1:02:32 > 1:02:34I want to feel their bones break under my fist.

1:02:34 > 1:02:35Sounds like a good beating, Jack.

1:02:35 > 1:02:37We'll leave 'em for you, then.

1:02:38 > 1:02:42Anyone else want some Wild Hog for breakfast?

1:02:42 > 1:02:43ALL CHEERING

1:02:43 > 1:02:45MAN: Yee-ha!

1:02:48 > 1:02:51You expect me to pay for this piss-warm beer?

1:02:51 > 1:02:53Here, you can have it back.

1:02:57 > 1:02:59If we drank piss, we'd drink it cold!

1:03:01 > 1:03:02What?!

1:03:03 > 1:03:05Wait, guys, guys, guys, guys, look...

1:03:05 > 1:03:07We don't drink piss!

1:03:10 > 1:03:13DOUG: Hey, Woody, maybe it's time

1:03:13 > 1:03:15to give these guys another one of your famous talks.

1:03:15 > 1:03:18I think we just avoid them, guys, OK?

1:03:18 > 1:03:19I've handled this legally. We should just go.

1:03:19 > 1:03:20You know what? I'm talking to these assholes

1:03:20 > 1:03:21this time, woody.

1:03:21 > 1:03:23You shouldn't have to do it twice. WOODY: No.

1:03:23 > 1:03:25You took care of them last time, and I just sat there.

1:03:25 > 1:03:28This time, you know what? They want to see rage -

1:03:28 > 1:03:31Bobby, Bobby - Whoa!

1:03:31 > 1:03:33BOBBY: Hey, assholes.

1:03:33 > 1:03:34Oh, you boys got a hell of a lot of trouble coming.

1:03:34 > 1:03:36You know that, right?

1:03:36 > 1:03:38Let me tell you again like my friend told

1:03:38 > 1:03:41your stupid-ass, cracker-ass, inbred buddies.

1:03:41 > 1:03:42Did he just say, "cracker"?

1:03:42 > 1:03:44Cracker-ass. Oh, perfect.

1:03:44 > 1:03:46You touch us, and we'll sue your ass so hard,

1:03:46 > 1:03:49you'd be taking out a loan just to piss.

1:03:49 > 1:03:51Now, if that ain't clear enough for you,

1:03:51 > 1:03:54maybe this is. Splash, huh?

1:03:54 > 1:03:56Got him. Did I get him, huh?

1:03:56 > 1:03:58Splash, splash, splash. What you want to talk about?

1:03:58 > 1:03:59Well, you crossed a little line right there.

1:03:59 > 1:04:02Uh! No, no, no, no. It ain't worth it, man.

1:04:02 > 1:04:04Jack will kill us if we touch them, so just -

1:04:04 > 1:04:06Yeah. Break some of that up.

1:04:06 > 1:04:07Got a little treat for you.

1:04:07 > 1:04:09Huh? Break a little of that up.

1:04:09 > 1:04:12Oh, no. Ooh. Oh, no.

1:04:12 > 1:04:14Can you hear that? Can you hear that?

1:04:14 > 1:04:18Uhhh! Uhhh!

1:04:18 > 1:04:21That's not a discussion. No, that's a lawsuit.

1:04:23 > 1:04:24Aw, look at that.

1:04:24 > 1:04:27GROANS: What?!

1:04:28 > 1:04:30That's gonna stain.

1:04:30 > 1:04:34Ha! You boys look like you belong on a couple of hot dogs.

1:04:34 > 1:04:35CHUCKLES: Now,

1:04:35 > 1:04:40if there's any other Del Fuegos that need that message repeated,

1:04:40 > 1:04:42you tell them that the Wild Hogs...

1:04:45 > 1:04:47..are right here in Madrid, baby...

1:04:47 > 1:04:49ready to explain it again.

1:04:49 > 1:04:50You got that? THEY PANT

1:04:50 > 1:04:53I said you got that?!

1:04:53 > 1:04:55CRUNCHING, ALL WINCE

1:04:55 > 1:04:56Sweet mother of mercy!

1:04:56 > 1:04:57Huh?!

1:05:00 > 1:05:04He don't want it. He don't want it. I'm hungry.

1:05:04 > 1:05:05ALL CHEER

1:05:11 > 1:05:14Beer, here! Wild Hogs, I gotta tell you,

1:05:14 > 1:05:17you don't know how many broken windows

1:05:17 > 1:05:18you guys saved this town.

1:05:18 > 1:05:22Sheriff, it's the least we could do for our new friends here in Madrid.

1:05:22 > 1:05:23Right, Bobby?

1:05:23 > 1:05:24LAUGHING: Wild Hogs!

1:05:24 > 1:05:26ALL: Wild Hogs!

1:05:26 > 1:05:28That's some good work you did there, Bobby.

1:05:28 > 1:05:29Hey, thank you, Sheriff.

1:05:29 > 1:05:31Now look, you know, if you need something done,

1:05:31 > 1:05:33just come to me. You know what I mean?

1:05:33 > 1:05:36cos I will beat stuff down.

1:05:36 > 1:05:37Let's say them peanuts are bothering you.

1:05:37 > 1:05:40Huh? I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear it!

1:05:40 > 1:05:41What'd the Sheriff tell you?

1:05:41 > 1:05:42What'd the townspeople tell you?

1:05:42 > 1:05:44What the...

1:05:44 > 1:05:45You know what I mean?

1:05:45 > 1:05:46I ain't got no problem with it, Sheriff.

1:05:46 > 1:05:49I ain't got no problem with it.

1:05:49 > 1:05:51(SOFTLY): Yeah. Yeah. That's all right.

1:05:51 > 1:05:54This is great, right, Woody?

1:05:54 > 1:05:56Huh?

1:05:56 > 1:05:58You all right?

1:06:00 > 1:06:01HOARSELY: Yeah.

1:06:02 > 1:06:04I'm gonna call Kelly.

1:06:04 > 1:06:06Remind her just what kind of a stud she married.

1:06:06 > 1:06:09All right. Yeah, you do that.

1:06:10 > 1:06:12SOBBING SOFTLY

1:06:12 > 1:06:16Hey, hey, Bobby! Next time, I handle those bozos, eh?

1:06:16 > 1:06:17The wrath of Dudley!

1:06:17 > 1:06:18Wild Hogs!

1:06:18 > 1:06:21ALL: Wild Hogs!

1:06:21 > 1:06:22WHISTLING AND CHEERING

1:06:22 > 1:06:23Tequila on the Wild Hogs.

1:06:26 > 1:06:27In New Mexico.

1:06:27 > 1:06:29We actually slapped a bull.

1:06:29 > 1:06:30Slapped it right on the ass.

1:06:30 > 1:06:32Doug, you have no idea how turned on I am right now,

1:06:32 > 1:06:34but please just be careful.

1:06:34 > 1:06:35Yeah. We're like celebrities here. Well, Bobby is.

1:06:35 > 1:06:37Man, I'll crush some cashews.

1:06:37 > 1:06:38Macadamia nuts?

1:06:38 > 1:06:40Oh, macadamia nut? I'd kick it out the park.

1:06:40 > 1:06:43Hey! And guess who dropped by to say hello.

1:06:43 > 1:06:45Karen. Yeah, I think she's feeling a little lonely.

1:06:45 > 1:06:46Who's that?

1:06:46 > 1:06:48Oh, it's Doug.

1:06:48 > 1:06:49He says they're all having a great time on the road trip.

1:06:49 > 1:06:51Kelly, don't tell her about the -

1:06:51 > 1:06:53Road trip?!

1:06:54 > 1:06:58Hey! Dudley, don't you want to come inside?

1:06:58 > 1:06:59I'm fine.

1:06:59 > 1:07:01I'm just gonna, um, sit out here for a little while,

1:07:01 > 1:07:03I think.

1:07:03 > 1:07:04OK. You OK?

1:07:04 > 1:07:08I'm fine. I'm...uh...

1:07:11 > 1:07:12No, the truth is I'm not OK.

1:07:12 > 1:07:14The truth is I like you a lot, Maggie.

1:07:17 > 1:07:19I'm liking you a lot, too.

1:07:19 > 1:07:23See, that's what I was afraid of,

1:07:23 > 1:07:26that you would like me without knowing,

1:07:26 > 1:07:28without me telling you...

1:07:31 > 1:07:34I'm not a cool biker, Maggie.

1:07:34 > 1:07:36I'm not a cool anything.

1:07:36 > 1:07:38I'm a computer programmer.

1:07:38 > 1:07:41I'm just a geek.

1:07:41 > 1:07:43I'm sorry if you thought

1:07:43 > 1:07:45I was somebody that I'm not.

1:07:51 > 1:07:55Hmm. You're not a geek.

1:07:58 > 1:08:00You're a lot of fun.

1:08:00 > 1:08:01Hmm.

1:08:03 > 1:08:06And you're really honest.

1:08:09 > 1:08:11And you're really sweet.

1:08:14 > 1:08:17You're the kind of guy that's hard to find.

1:08:25 > 1:08:26SHE CHUCKLES

1:08:26 > 1:08:29Sorry. Try again. One more time.

1:08:38 > 1:08:40BOBBY: Whoo! All gassed up, baby!

1:08:40 > 1:08:41WOODY: All right. Let's get Dudley. Let's go!

1:08:41 > 1:08:44Clive, what's up, baby? What you know? No good?

1:08:44 > 1:08:45All right. OK, baby.

1:08:45 > 1:08:47Wait a minute. We're going to high altitudes.

1:08:47 > 1:08:48I think we should check our tire pressure.

1:08:48 > 1:08:50Whoa. No, no, little buddy. We got to ride.

1:08:50 > 1:08:52We got to get going, OK?

1:08:52 > 1:08:54We got new experiences and new locations, right?

1:08:54 > 1:08:55We can't leave, man.

1:08:55 > 1:08:57I'm like the mayor of this town.

1:08:57 > 1:08:58My people need me.

1:08:58 > 1:09:00I said we're leaving!

1:09:00 > 1:09:02Hey, guys.

1:09:02 > 1:09:03We decided we want to have breakfast here.

1:09:03 > 1:09:04WOODY: Come on! Hey, cowboy!

1:09:04 > 1:09:06Let's saddle up, OK?

1:09:06 > 1:09:08You're burning daylight. Let's go!

1:09:08 > 1:09:10You got a problem with hanging around this town a few more minutes?

1:09:10 > 1:09:12Do I look like I have a problem?!

1:09:12 > 1:09:13Do I? Yes. Yeah.

1:09:13 > 1:09:15There you go again saying the weirdest shit.

1:09:27 > 1:09:29Del Fuegos! Hide the bikes! Quick!

1:09:29 > 1:09:30DUDLEY: Why, why?

1:09:30 > 1:09:31WOODY: Just do it! Trust me!

1:09:31 > 1:09:33DUDLEY: What's wrong?

1:09:33 > 1:09:34Why are we hiding?

1:09:34 > 1:09:35Maggie: what's going on?

1:09:35 > 1:09:37DUDLEY: I don't know.

1:09:48 > 1:09:49Oh, God!

1:09:49 > 1:09:50Hey! Why are we hiding?

1:09:50 > 1:09:52You took care of this already, didn't you, Woody?

1:09:52 > 1:09:53Not like you think, OK?

1:09:53 > 1:09:56Well, what is it that I think?

1:09:56 > 1:09:58I didn't really talk to them, OK?

1:09:58 > 1:09:59You serious?

1:09:59 > 1:10:01DOUG: I knew something was wrong.

1:10:01 > 1:10:03Dudley, you're usually like, "I'm all stupid," you know.

1:10:03 > 1:10:04This is not Dudley's fault!

1:10:04 > 1:10:06"Take my bike and then give me a piece of junk, I'm happy."

1:10:06 > 1:10:07And you guys are all, you know, "I'm scared.

1:10:07 > 1:10:08"Let's get out of here. Whatever."

1:10:08 > 1:10:10So it's our fault?

1:10:10 > 1:10:11The Del Fuegos are all, like, "You're nothing," you know.

1:10:11 > 1:10:12"We're real bikers."

1:10:12 > 1:10:14This isn't about us! What did you do to them?

1:10:14 > 1:10:16What did you do, Woody?

1:10:16 > 1:10:20HE MUMBLES

1:10:20 > 1:10:23I cut the gas lines of their bikes.

1:10:23 > 1:10:25And then I...

1:10:25 > 1:10:26What?

1:10:26 > 1:10:28Maybe blew up their bar.

1:10:28 > 1:10:29Oh! Ah, perfect!

1:10:29 > 1:10:30DUDLEY: Oh, we're dead!

1:10:30 > 1:10:34Oh, come on! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

1:10:34 > 1:10:37That means they're just here to kill us.

1:10:42 > 1:10:44No sign of them, Jack.

1:10:45 > 1:10:47HE GROWLS

1:10:48 > 1:10:50Wild Hogs!

1:10:50 > 1:10:53Come out, come out wherever you are!

1:10:53 > 1:10:55I finally meet a girl, and now I'm gonna die.

1:10:55 > 1:10:58So all the mustard and the ketchup

1:10:58 > 1:10:59didn't help the situation, huh?

1:10:59 > 1:11:01Ohh!

1:11:01 > 1:11:03JACK: Oh, you don't want to come out?

1:11:03 > 1:11:05We'll wait!

1:11:05 > 1:11:08There's only one road out of this town!

1:11:08 > 1:11:10We own it!

1:11:10 > 1:11:13Me and my boys will be in this lovely little diner here!

1:11:13 > 1:11:16Get out of here! Yes, sir.

1:11:16 > 1:11:18The longer you keep us waiting, the worse

1:11:18 > 1:11:22it's gonna get for the peaceful town of Madrid!

1:11:26 > 1:11:30CHARLEY: Jack! I'm going to ask you not to.

1:11:30 > 1:11:32What did you say, you little turd?

1:11:32 > 1:11:33What did he say?

1:11:33 > 1:11:34He called him a turd.

1:11:36 > 1:11:37Let's go!

1:11:37 > 1:11:40Enjoy.

1:11:40 > 1:11:41OK, I made a mistake.

1:11:41 > 1:11:43Woody, we could have just went home, man,

1:11:43 > 1:11:44and been fine.

1:11:44 > 1:11:46Yeah, well, you know, maybe I don't have a home.

1:11:46 > 1:11:49Claudia left me.

1:11:49 > 1:11:51Three months ago she left.

1:11:51 > 1:11:52And then I fell apart.

1:11:52 > 1:11:55I lost my clients, and then I lost my job.

1:11:55 > 1:11:58Now I got to sell the house, and I got to sell the car.

1:11:58 > 1:12:00Can't even get the lawn raked, you know.

1:12:00 > 1:12:01And now I just got the bike and I got you guys.

1:12:01 > 1:12:03That's all I got.

1:12:03 > 1:12:06So this trip is all about you running away

1:12:06 > 1:12:08from your miserable, screwed-up life?

1:12:08 > 1:12:12And you screw up our lives? Asshole!

1:12:12 > 1:12:16I'm sorry about your situation, Woody, but you're a lying asshole.

1:12:16 > 1:12:19Which is like an asshole's asshole.

1:12:19 > 1:12:20I thought that...

1:12:20 > 1:12:21I thought that maybe being a Wild Hog meant something,

1:12:21 > 1:12:24but clearly it doesn't. You don't care about me!

1:12:24 > 1:12:25That's fine. I don't care.

1:12:25 > 1:12:27It doesn't mean anything, Woody!

1:12:27 > 1:12:30Remember, it's just a patch my wife made!

1:12:30 > 1:12:32I think we should go somewhere to yell at each other

1:12:32 > 1:12:34where there aren't people trying to kill us.

1:12:39 > 1:12:43Hey, Maggie. Thanks for letting us hide out in your house.

1:12:43 > 1:12:45CHARLEY: Yeah, thanks.

1:12:45 > 1:12:47MAGGIE: It's kind of hard not to

1:12:47 > 1:12:48when you're screaming and kicking down the door.

1:12:48 > 1:12:51Hey. You OK?

1:12:51 > 1:12:53Yeah.

1:12:53 > 1:12:55Diner's the only thing I have.

1:12:55 > 1:12:56If that gets destroyed, it's...

1:12:58 > 1:13:00But you're safe.

1:13:00 > 1:13:01You guys are safe.

1:13:01 > 1:13:03Now, just stay put.

1:13:03 > 1:13:04Nobody has to go out there and be a hero.

1:13:04 > 1:13:06You got that right.

1:13:06 > 1:13:08You guys aren't going out there?

1:13:08 > 1:13:09You're the sheriff. Why don't you go out there?

1:13:09 > 1:13:13CHARLEY: Like, sheriff of a town of 500 people.

1:13:13 > 1:13:16I got my qualification from a course on the internet.

1:13:16 > 1:13:18For arms training, they just told us to play Doom.

1:13:18 > 1:13:21I say we just wait it out, they'll lose interest,

1:13:21 > 1:13:22and they'll go.

1:13:22 > 1:13:25MAGGIE: Yeah, I agree. Wait it out.

1:13:25 > 1:13:29Hey. Where's Dudley?

1:13:36 > 1:13:38Oh, Dudley. Don't do that.

1:13:42 > 1:13:44All right, you Del Fuego -

1:13:51 > 1:13:56Hey! Let's end this.

1:13:56 > 1:13:59At least one of you came out to face the music.

1:13:59 > 1:14:02Very brave but stupid.

1:14:02 > 1:14:05I didn't come to face any music.

1:14:05 > 1:14:08I came here to stop you fellas from hurting this diner,

1:14:08 > 1:14:11which the love of my life just happens to own.

1:14:11 > 1:14:17So if it's got to get ugly, I'll give you ugly.

1:14:17 > 1:14:18CRASH

1:14:18 > 1:14:20LAUGHTER

1:14:23 > 1:14:26It slipped out of my glove.

1:14:26 > 1:14:27Heh. Hey!

1:14:27 > 1:14:28Is it OK if I tell people you guys did that?

1:14:28 > 1:14:30I should be getting back. It's late.

1:14:30 > 1:14:32The guys are gonna be worrying.

1:14:32 > 1:14:34We'll talk later.

1:14:34 > 1:14:35Man: Good idea.

1:14:35 > 1:14:36WOODY: Guys! Guys!

1:14:36 > 1:14:39No, no. You don't get to hide out in here with us.

1:14:39 > 1:14:40You get to hide outside with those crazy people

1:14:40 > 1:14:41that want to kill us.

1:14:41 > 1:14:43They got Dudley.

1:14:43 > 1:14:44Look out the window.

1:14:44 > 1:14:45What?

1:14:45 > 1:14:48JACK: All right. This is what's gonna happen, Wild Hogs!

1:14:48 > 1:14:52You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of 10,000,

1:14:52 > 1:14:55plus another 40,000 to rebuild the bar!

1:14:55 > 1:14:58And if you want to see your friend alive again,

1:14:58 > 1:15:00do not call the cops!

1:15:00 > 1:15:03If you're not here in a half an hour to settle this,

1:15:03 > 1:15:06I'm gonna take the fine out on your friend's legs!

1:15:06 > 1:15:08I'm gonna break 'em with this tire iron!

1:15:08 > 1:15:11DUDLEY: Don't bring the money!

1:15:11 > 1:15:12I'm a computer programmer!

1:15:12 > 1:15:14I don't need my legs!

1:15:14 > 1:15:17Fine! I'll break his hands!

1:15:17 > 1:15:18DEL FUEGOS: Yeah!

1:15:18 > 1:15:21DUDLEY: Damn it. Bring the money! Definitely!

1:15:21 > 1:15:23Definitely bring money!

1:15:23 > 1:15:24Get him out of here!

1:15:24 > 1:15:26DUDLEY: Now! We need money!

1:15:27 > 1:15:31Dudley went to save the diner, now they're gonna break his hands.

1:15:31 > 1:15:34No, they're not. We're gonna... We're gonna get him back.

1:15:34 > 1:15:37I've called the highway patrol. Gonna be here in two hours.

1:15:37 > 1:15:41Hey, man. They said no cops, or else they gonna take it out on Dudley.

1:15:41 > 1:15:44We don't wanna piss 'em off until we get him out of their hands.

1:15:44 > 1:15:46You know, he's not exactly in their hands now, OK?

1:15:46 > 1:15:48Why not? He was sitting right...

1:15:48 > 1:15:49What the...?

1:15:49 > 1:15:51Get me down!

1:15:51 > 1:15:53ALL LAUGHING

1:15:53 > 1:15:54Why? You look good up there!

1:15:54 > 1:15:57You look like a pinata with red hair!

1:15:57 > 1:15:58ALL LAUGHING

1:15:58 > 1:16:01I think... I think I'm gonna keep you up there till your buddies come!

1:16:01 > 1:16:04And then if they don't, I'm gonna bust you open

1:16:04 > 1:16:06and we're gonna see what falls out! Ha!

1:16:06 > 1:16:10DUDLEY: Bobby! Woody! Doug!

1:16:10 > 1:16:11What are we gonna do?

1:16:11 > 1:16:12I don't know.

1:16:12 > 1:16:14Well, I know what I'm gonna do.

1:16:14 > 1:16:15I'm gonna go get him.

1:16:15 > 1:16:17There you go talking crazy again.

1:16:17 > 1:16:18They will kill you.

1:16:18 > 1:16:19I'm not talking crazy.

1:16:19 > 1:16:23I have three people left in my life that I care about,

1:16:23 > 1:16:24and I let you guys down.

1:16:24 > 1:16:27Nah. I'd rather go out there and make it go right

1:16:27 > 1:16:28and die doing it

1:16:28 > 1:16:30than be the asshole that screwed everything up.

1:16:30 > 1:16:33Hey, hey, Woody. Woody, where you going?

1:16:38 > 1:16:40Woody!

1:16:42 > 1:16:44Don't you know hogs run in packs, baby?

1:16:47 > 1:16:49We're still Wild Hogs?

1:16:49 > 1:16:51Wild Hogs, man.

1:16:51 > 1:16:52Wild Hogs.

1:16:52 > 1:16:54All right. Here's how it's got to go.

1:16:54 > 1:16:56I got to get up to 30 miles an hour in that short distance.

1:16:56 > 1:16:58It's only duct tape holding that rope on there.

1:16:58 > 1:17:00I'll get him by the trunk, and I'll grab him, and I'll save Dudley.

1:17:00 > 1:17:01You'll need a distraction.

1:17:01 > 1:17:03Together, guys.

1:17:03 > 1:17:05Together we can do this. I'm ready. I'm ready.

1:17:05 > 1:17:07I'm ready.

1:17:07 > 1:17:09What? What's wrong?

1:17:09 > 1:17:10It's gonna sound kind of stupid.

1:17:10 > 1:17:12What?

1:17:12 > 1:17:13Before I go in, I need one of you to yell,

1:17:13 > 1:17:15"It's the Golden Knight!"

1:17:15 > 1:17:16You know, it helps me get in the mood.

1:17:16 > 1:17:18Yeah, baby!

1:17:18 > 1:17:19It helps motivate me.

1:17:19 > 1:17:21He's back!

1:17:21 > 1:17:24LAUGHING: It's the Golden Knight.

1:17:24 > 1:17:26With gusto, though.

1:17:34 > 1:17:35Now?

1:17:35 > 1:17:37Now.

1:17:37 > 1:17:38Holy crap, it's the Golden Knight!

1:17:47 > 1:17:49Clear 'em out, boys! Clear 'em out!

1:17:49 > 1:17:52Del Fuegos, come out and play, baby!

1:17:52 > 1:17:55All day, baby! All day!

1:17:55 > 1:17:5735, 35. Exactly 35!

1:18:00 > 1:18:01Wild Hogs, baby!

1:18:01 > 1:18:02Wild Hogs!

1:18:04 > 1:18:07Hey, guys, slow down. You're gonna get...

1:18:07 > 1:18:08Oh, no, no, no...

1:18:08 > 1:18:11Ooh! Ooh!

1:18:11 > 1:18:12Dud-dud-Dudley!

1:18:12 > 1:18:14LAUGHTER

1:18:14 > 1:18:17DOUG: All right. I got you, Dudley. I got you.

1:18:17 > 1:18:18You having fun?

1:18:18 > 1:18:20That was amazing!

1:18:20 > 1:18:23The tape was supposed to break!

1:18:23 > 1:18:24Oh...

1:18:24 > 1:18:26LAUGHTER

1:18:26 > 1:18:27There it goes.

1:18:27 > 1:18:29BOBBY: Is there a problem?

1:18:29 > 1:18:31Come on.

1:18:31 > 1:18:34You burned down Damien's bar, you pull this little circus act

1:18:34 > 1:18:36out here. Now you're gonna see what it's like

1:18:36 > 1:18:38when you mess with us.

1:18:38 > 1:18:39MAN: That's right.

1:18:39 > 1:18:40Burn down the diner!

1:18:40 > 1:18:42No, look, we can come up with the money.

1:18:42 > 1:18:44I got a little bit in my savings.

1:18:44 > 1:18:46WOODY: It was my fault. I did it. I did it!

1:18:46 > 1:18:49I cut the fuel lines. Let me deal with it.

1:18:49 > 1:18:50Let these guys go.

1:18:50 > 1:18:52No! We're not gonna pay any money,

1:18:52 > 1:18:54and we're not calling the cops.

1:18:54 > 1:18:57We're gonna stand here and fight.

1:18:57 > 1:18:59LAUGHTER

1:18:59 > 1:19:01You don't want our money.

1:19:01 > 1:19:02What do you need money for? You're free.

1:19:02 > 1:19:05You know, you're just here to get what you get from the townspeople

1:19:05 > 1:19:08all the time, fear, because you're scary people.

1:19:08 > 1:19:09People will do anything to stay safe,

1:19:09 > 1:19:12including give up the biggest part of their lives, their adventure.

1:19:12 > 1:19:13I say let's have a little adventure, huh?

1:19:13 > 1:19:16Let's fight. Let's dance, huh?

1:19:16 > 1:19:17Let's do it!

1:19:17 > 1:19:18Enough's enough.

1:19:18 > 1:19:19Let's kick some Del Taco ass.

1:19:19 > 1:19:21Wait, wait, wait.

1:19:21 > 1:19:23Do either of you guys have a knife or scissors?

1:19:23 > 1:19:24A nail clipper?

1:19:24 > 1:19:26All right. So how do we do this?

1:19:26 > 1:19:28Like high school?

1:19:28 > 1:19:29A little circle, huh?

1:19:29 > 1:19:32Murdock, Red, Tiny. Four on four.

1:19:32 > 1:19:33Uh!

1:19:33 > 1:19:35Body or face, pretty boy?

1:19:35 > 1:19:37Not the face.

1:19:43 > 1:19:44Get out!

1:19:49 > 1:19:51I'll take him.

1:19:51 > 1:19:52DUDLEY: Thank you!

1:19:53 > 1:19:56Hyah! Hyah!

1:19:56 > 1:19:58BIKER YELLING

1:20:02 > 1:20:04Trade back!

1:20:04 > 1:20:05Trade back. Got it.

1:20:05 > 1:20:06My god. It's not really fair, you know.

1:20:06 > 1:20:08I'm kind of tied up.

1:20:11 > 1:20:13You ever see a hook off the jab? Huh? Bring it!

1:20:13 > 1:20:15Hyah!

1:20:20 > 1:20:21Uh!

1:20:21 > 1:20:22Let's have a little fun, baby.

1:20:22 > 1:20:23Whew. Let's play.

1:20:23 > 1:20:26Golden glove, baby.

1:20:30 > 1:20:32Ow! Ow! Gah...

1:20:32 > 1:20:34You hit my helmet. Are you OK, man? You hurt your hand?

1:20:34 > 1:20:36That actually really hurt.

1:20:36 > 1:20:38DUDLEY: Whoa!

1:20:41 > 1:20:42Good shot!

1:20:42 > 1:20:44Get off!

1:20:44 > 1:20:47Uh-oh, no, no, no. Don't...

1:20:47 > 1:20:48WOODY: Throw sand! What?

1:20:48 > 1:20:52Throw sand! Yeah.

1:20:52 > 1:20:53I didn't mean to aim there...

1:20:55 > 1:20:57Whoo-hoo!

1:20:57 > 1:20:58Nice...

1:20:58 > 1:20:59Ha ha!

1:21:03 > 1:21:06Damn! I done knocked out my boy!

1:21:06 > 1:21:09Come on. You all right?

1:21:09 > 1:21:10Oof.

1:21:17 > 1:21:19Well, that was easy.

1:21:20 > 1:21:22Come on.

1:21:22 > 1:21:23Burn down the diner!

1:21:23 > 1:21:25ALL: Yeah!

1:21:25 > 1:21:27Come on!

1:21:27 > 1:21:28Oh, good. You want some more?

1:21:28 > 1:21:29Yeah, I got nothing to lose.

1:21:29 > 1:21:33I got no wife, no job, no house.

1:21:33 > 1:21:34I got my friends, though.

1:21:34 > 1:21:36I got them till the end.

1:21:38 > 1:21:40That's great!

1:21:40 > 1:21:42DOUG: You know what's so stupid about this?

1:21:42 > 1:21:44We wanted to be like you guys, you know.

1:21:44 > 1:21:46Because what I see here is just a bunch of grown men

1:21:46 > 1:21:48whose biggest decision in life is,

1:21:48 > 1:21:50"uh, sleeveless or, uh... sleeveless?"

1:21:50 > 1:21:53"Do I shit behind the rock, or over there by that bush?"

1:21:53 > 1:21:56Grown men. This is pathetic.

1:21:56 > 1:21:57You go ahead and kick our ass, OK?

1:21:57 > 1:22:00Because we're not the posers. You guys are the posers.

1:22:00 > 1:22:01Ow!

1:22:01 > 1:22:03LAUGHTER

1:22:03 > 1:22:07Hey! Do yourselves a favour and stay down.

1:22:07 > 1:22:1025 years of being yelled at.

1:22:10 > 1:22:11Man, I ain't taking this...

1:22:11 > 1:22:14LAUGHTER

1:22:14 > 1:22:16And I got a girlfriend.

1:22:16 > 1:22:18Punch that out of me, bitches.

1:22:25 > 1:22:27Ooh. Are we doing this?

1:22:31 > 1:22:32Let's do it.

1:22:32 > 1:22:34Come on.

1:22:38 > 1:22:40Come on.

1:22:40 > 1:22:41Come on.

1:22:49 > 1:22:51You're kidding me, right?

1:22:53 > 1:22:55What's wrong with you guys?

1:22:57 > 1:23:00JACK: All right! You want to keep going?

1:23:00 > 1:23:02CHARLEY: I don't think so.

1:23:02 > 1:23:03You're done, Jack.

1:23:03 > 1:23:08You Del Fuegos, you are done!

1:23:08 > 1:23:10And we want you out of our town now.

1:23:10 > 1:23:11And who's "we"?

1:23:11 > 1:23:12All of us.

1:23:12 > 1:23:14Ha ha!

1:23:14 > 1:23:16THEY LAUGH

1:23:16 > 1:23:19If four people can stand up to a gang of bikers,

1:23:19 > 1:23:21I guess we can, too!

1:23:21 > 1:23:24Well, we'll fight you and the Children of the Corn, too.

1:23:24 > 1:23:26cos the Del Fuegos don't back down!

1:23:26 > 1:23:29This is our highway.

1:23:29 > 1:23:31And we're gonna defend our highway.

1:23:31 > 1:23:33Wrong, Jack.

1:23:34 > 1:23:36It's my highway.

1:23:36 > 1:23:38Blade.

1:23:38 > 1:23:40Hi, Maggie.

1:23:41 > 1:23:45Hmm. The bar burned down.

1:23:45 > 1:23:49Yeah. These posers, these 4 posers right here.

1:23:49 > 1:23:54Four guys stand off 50 bikers...

1:23:54 > 1:23:56And they're the posers?

1:23:56 > 1:23:58Yeah. They burnt down the bar that you built.

1:23:58 > 1:23:59It was a shithole.

1:23:59 > 1:24:02I insured it for twice what it was worth.

1:24:02 > 1:24:04The guys did me a favour.

1:24:04 > 1:24:06We were just following the code that you wrote.

1:24:06 > 1:24:08Why do you think I don't wear the colours, Jack?

1:24:08 > 1:24:10Why do you think I ride alone?

1:24:10 > 1:24:12Cos you don't know about it anymore.

1:24:12 > 1:24:14But I think you all ought to get back on your bikes

1:24:14 > 1:24:16and go out and ride on the highway

1:24:16 > 1:24:18until you remember what riding's all about.

1:24:19 > 1:24:21Let it go, Jack.

1:24:33 > 1:24:35OK, Pop.

1:24:36 > 1:24:38He takes after his mom.

1:24:38 > 1:24:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1:24:47 > 1:24:48Whew.

1:24:48 > 1:24:51Man, that was, like, level 12 of Doom.

1:24:51 > 1:24:54The posers.

1:24:54 > 1:24:56What do you guys call yourselves?

1:24:56 > 1:24:57I'm Woody. I'm Bobby.

1:24:57 > 1:24:58I'm Doug.

1:24:58 > 1:25:00No, no, no. You all riding together? What do you...

1:25:00 > 1:25:01Hogs!

1:25:01 > 1:25:02Wild Hogs. Wild Hogs.

1:25:02 > 1:25:04Wild - Hey, Wild Hogs.

1:25:04 > 1:25:08Well, Wild Hogs, ride hard or stay home.

1:25:08 > 1:25:10Yeah.

1:25:10 > 1:25:12Oh, and, guys, lose the watches.

1:25:12 > 1:25:15ALL CHUCKLE

1:25:15 > 1:25:16Freedom, baby.

1:25:16 > 1:25:18We did it, babe. We did it.

1:25:18 > 1:25:20All day. All day.

1:25:20 > 1:25:22Hey! Hey! The Wild Hogs -

1:25:22 > 1:25:23the saga continues!

1:25:23 > 1:25:25CHEERING

1:25:38 > 1:25:39What the hell?

1:25:39 > 1:25:42What in the world is going on around here?

1:25:42 > 1:25:45Plumbing conference?

1:25:45 > 1:25:48Have you lost your mind? Shut up, Doug!

1:25:48 > 1:25:52Bobby, who are these people, and where are we at?

1:25:52 > 1:25:53Well, obviously, I'm not at

1:25:53 > 1:25:55a plumbing conference in Cleveland, baby.

1:25:55 > 1:25:56Oh, really?

1:25:56 > 1:25:58Baby, I've been fighting bikers all day,

1:25:58 > 1:26:00this little Chinese dude bust my nose.

1:26:00 > 1:26:02I've been slapping bulls.

1:26:02 > 1:26:06Bobby, I don't give a damn about you fighting no bulls!

1:26:06 > 1:26:08Now, I want you to get your ass in that van

1:26:08 > 1:26:09because we are going home.

1:26:09 > 1:26:11I cannot believe that you would deceive me like this!

1:26:11 > 1:26:13Karen...

1:26:13 > 1:26:15No, Bobby, I want an expla... Karen!

1:26:15 > 1:26:17Slow your roll.

1:26:17 > 1:26:20Look, baby, I love you, OK?

1:26:20 > 1:26:22But I'm tired of being talked at.

1:26:22 > 1:26:24I don't talk at you, Bobby! Bobby -

1:26:24 > 1:26:26Karen, look at what you're doing now.

1:26:26 > 1:26:28Come on. You feel me?

1:26:28 > 1:26:31OK, baby, all right, all right. I feel you.

1:26:31 > 1:26:33Right now I just need you to show me some love.

1:26:33 > 1:26:35Just a little bit of love.

1:26:37 > 1:26:39Mwah...

1:26:42 > 1:26:43That's scrumptious.

1:26:43 > 1:26:45You seriously got in a fight with bikers?

1:26:45 > 1:26:46Yeah. A whole bunch of 'em.

1:26:46 > 1:26:48We chased 'em out of town! There was 50 of them.

1:26:48 > 1:26:50It was something.

1:26:50 > 1:26:51I got to tell the guys about this.

1:26:51 > 1:26:52That is awesome!

1:26:52 > 1:26:54I'll be right back, OK?

1:26:54 > 1:26:57Doug, are you sure you're OK?

1:26:57 > 1:26:58Ow, ow, ow...

1:26:58 > 1:26:59Oh, your ribs, your ribs.

1:26:59 > 1:27:00No, no. You're standing on my foot!

1:27:00 > 1:27:01Oh, sorry!

1:27:01 > 1:27:04So I'll see you when I get back? Mm-hmm.

1:27:05 > 1:27:06I love you.

1:27:06 > 1:27:07I love you, too, baby.

1:27:07 > 1:27:09All right.

1:27:14 > 1:27:16Get a room, baby.

1:27:16 > 1:27:19Can we? Do we have time?

1:27:19 > 1:27:21When are you coming back through?

1:27:21 > 1:27:22A biker never knows.

1:27:22 > 1:27:26Maybe a week. Maybe a month.

1:27:26 > 1:27:31Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take 6 minutes

1:27:31 > 1:27:32for wind resistance.

1:27:36 > 1:27:39Well, I sure do wish you guys would stick around.

1:27:39 > 1:27:41We got some riding to do, Sheriff, but thanks anyway.

1:27:41 > 1:27:44Well, I'll just say it. You fellas were a blessing

1:27:44 > 1:27:46to this place.

1:27:46 > 1:27:48I mean, I'm not gonna get all emotional like old hamburger head

1:27:48 > 1:27:50over here always...

1:27:51 > 1:27:54What did you just call me?

1:27:54 > 1:27:56Uh, see, when we walked up, you were on my...

1:27:56 > 1:28:00You son of a bitch!

1:28:00 > 1:28:01Come on, Buck. I swear.

1:28:01 > 1:28:02That's the first time!

1:28:02 > 1:28:04I don't want to hear it!

1:28:04 > 1:28:05Well, honestly, you can't.

1:28:05 > 1:28:06I heard that.

1:28:06 > 1:28:08Ready to ride, guys?

1:28:08 > 1:28:09Ready to ride, baby.

1:28:09 > 1:28:11Let's see what the west coast has to offer.

1:28:11 > 1:28:13Think there'll be any trouble along the way?

1:28:13 > 1:28:16Oh, I hope so.

1:28:16 > 1:28:18Yeah, I like the way you think.

1:28:18 > 1:28:19I like the way you think.

1:28:19 > 1:28:23# The midnight rider... #

1:28:23 > 1:28:24Go ahead.

1:28:24 > 1:28:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1:28:29 > 1:28:31ALL: Oooh!

1:28:36 > 1:28:38I'm OK! I just hurt my face!

1:28:38 > 1:28:40ALL CHEER

1:28:40 > 1:28:45# I love the colourful clothes she wears

1:28:45 > 1:28:49# And she's already workin' on my brain

1:28:50 > 1:28:52# Ah

1:28:52 > 1:28:56# I only looked in her eyes

1:28:56 > 1:28:58# But I think of something

1:28:58 > 1:29:02# I just can't explain

1:29:02 > 1:29:03# And I'm pickin' up

1:29:03 > 1:29:06# I'm pickin' up good vibrations

1:29:06 > 1:29:09# She's giving me the excitations

1:29:09 > 1:29:10# Oom, bop, bop

1:29:10 > 1:29:11# I'm pickin' up good vibrations

1:29:11 > 1:29:13# Good vibrations

1:29:13 > 1:29:14- # She's giving me the excitations- Excitations

1:29:14 > 1:29:18# Good, good, good, good vibrations...

1:29:18 > 1:29:20# She's giving me the excitations

1:29:20 > 1:29:21# Excitations

1:29:21 > 1:29:25# I'm picking up good vibrations

1:29:25 > 1:29:26# She's giving me the excitations

1:29:26 > 1:29:27# Excitations

1:29:27 > 1:29:28# Ah... #

1:29:28 > 1:29:31WOODY: Wow.

1:29:31 > 1:29:33DOUG: Hey, hey! We did it!

1:29:33 > 1:29:36BOBBY: Whoo-hoo! You believe this?

1:29:38 > 1:29:40# And I'm pickin' up... #

1:29:40 > 1:29:42DOUG: Hello!

1:29:42 > 1:29:43BOBBY: Oh, my goodness.

1:29:43 > 1:29:45DUDLEY: Whoa. Oh, no.

1:29:45 > 1:29:47Whoa. Aah.

1:29:47 > 1:29:51Oh, no. Whoa.

1:29:51 > 1:29:53Sorry, sorry.

1:29:53 > 1:29:552,000 miles, but I finally got it.

1:29:55 > 1:29:57BOBBY: About time, rookie!

1:29:57 > 1:29:58# Excitations

1:29:58 > 1:29:59# Good, good, good... #

1:29:59 > 1:30:01A lot of distractions.

1:30:01 > 1:30:03California, baby!

1:30:08 > 1:30:10HE CHUCKLES

1:30:19 > 1:30:22# This is happening to me

1:30:22 > 1:30:24Welcome back to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

1:30:24 > 1:30:26Now, we've met some incredible families,

1:30:26 > 1:30:28but this could be the saddest story we've...

1:30:28 > 1:30:30we've ever seen.

1:30:30 > 1:30:32This family has lost everything.

1:30:32 > 1:30:35They've lost their home, they've lost their history,

1:30:35 > 1:30:36they've lost their heritage.

1:30:36 > 1:30:39But this week, we've done something about that.

1:30:39 > 1:30:41So let's welcome back...

1:30:41 > 1:30:42the Del Fuego family!

1:30:42 > 1:30:44CROWD CHEERS

1:30:48 > 1:30:50Well, Jack, two months ago, man,

1:30:50 > 1:30:51you lost the only home you ever knew.

1:30:51 > 1:30:53All: Aw.

1:30:53 > 1:30:54But thanks to a phone call from your friends,

1:30:54 > 1:30:56the Wild Hogs, we built you a new one.

1:30:56 > 1:30:58DUDLEY: That's so great. He didn't have to mention us.

1:30:58 > 1:31:00That's...aw.

1:31:00 > 1:31:03HOST: So you guys know what to say? Say it with me!

1:31:03 > 1:31:06ALL: Bus driver, move that bus!

1:31:06 > 1:31:08CHEERING

1:31:10 > 1:31:11Wow! Wow!

1:31:11 > 1:31:13CHEERING CONTINUES

1:31:21 > 1:31:22HOST: You know, usually we have

1:31:22 > 1:31:23some pretty emotional reactions, but, uh,

1:31:23 > 1:31:26Jack, you know, wow.

1:31:26 > 1:31:30I'm not sure what was going on with Jack.

1:31:30 > 1:31:32Aw.

1:31:32 > 1:31:34Thanks to our friends at Sears, and Local Breweries,

1:31:34 > 1:31:35who provided state-of-the-art taps

1:31:35 > 1:31:38and a year's supply of free beer!

1:31:38 > 1:31:41DEL FUEGOS CHEER

1:31:41 > 1:31:46Oh, my God! That is so cool! That is so cool!

1:31:46 > 1:31:49Cool as a parking lot made out of real leather?

1:31:49 > 1:31:53Oh! That is so rad! That is so BLEEP rad!

1:31:53 > 1:31:55Ha ha!

1:31:56 > 1:31:58The bar was my home.

1:31:58 > 1:32:01When it went down, I felt...

1:32:01 > 1:32:03homeless.

1:32:05 > 1:32:07Go check out your new home!

1:32:07 > 1:32:09CHEERING

1:32:13 > 1:32:15Here's the thing, you're talking about a bunch of guys

1:32:15 > 1:32:16who grew up in broken homes.

1:32:16 > 1:32:20They didn't really have a home and now they've got one.

1:32:20 > 1:32:22Thank you!

1:32:24 > 1:32:25HE SIGHS

1:32:27 > 1:32:30ALL: We love our bar. Thanks, America!

1:32:30 > 1:32:32CHEERING

1:32:32 > 1:32:34ALL: Wild Hogs!

1:32:34 > 1:32:38# I finally found my way

1:32:38 > 1:32:42# Say good-bye to yesterday

1:32:42 > 1:32:45# Hit the gas, there ain't no brakes

1:32:45 > 1:32:48# On this lost highway

1:32:48 > 1:32:53# Yeah, I'm busting loose, I'm letting go

1:32:53 > 1:32:57# Out on this open road

1:32:57 > 1:33:00# It's Independence Day

1:33:00 > 1:33:03# On this lost highway

1:33:03 > 1:33:05# Hey, hey!

1:33:07 > 1:33:09# Hey, hey!

1:33:11 > 1:33:15# I don't know where I'm going

1:33:15 > 1:33:18# But I know where I've been

1:33:18 > 1:33:23I'm afraid of going back again... #

1:33:25 > 1:33:29# So I drive

1:33:29 > 1:33:32# Years and miles are flying by... #