Bedtime Stories

0:00:30 > 0:00:33MAN, NARRATING: I'm going to tell you a story now.

0:00:33 > 0:00:36But as any good storyteller knows,

0:00:36 > 0:00:38one must first be sure the audience is prepared.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41Is everybody comfortably seated?

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Does anyone need to use the bathroom?

0:00:43 > 0:00:46Oh. You, sir, in the back?

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Well, hold it in.

0:00:48 > 0:00:50CHUCKLES

0:00:50 > 0:00:52You ready? Here we go.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58'My name is Marty Bronson.

0:00:58 > 0:01:02'I owned and operated the Sunny Vista Motel,

0:01:02 > 0:01:04'which I established on the corner

0:01:04 > 0:01:06'of Sunset and La CIENEGA Boulevards

0:01:06 > 0:01:08'in Los Angeles, California,

0:01:08 > 0:01:12'in the year 1974.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15'The motel was my labour of love,

0:01:15 > 0:01:18'and I ran it with the help of my children - Wendy...'

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Wendy, the key, please, for Mr And Mrs Dixon.

0:01:23 > 0:01:24Thank you.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26'and Skeeter.' RINGS

0:01:28 > 0:01:31May I help you with your bags, Mr And Mrs Dixon?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33- Yes, please. - Why, thank you, young man.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36GRUNTING

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Do you want me to help?

0:01:39 > 0:01:40No, I got it.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45'To my boy Skeeter,

0:01:45 > 0:01:50'the motel was a wonderland...' Way too hyper.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52The galaxy's not big enough for the both of us.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54'A magical place...'

0:01:54 > 0:01:56CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER

0:01:56 > 0:02:00'Full of new adventures for a six-year-old boy.'

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Oh, Skeeter. Come here.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Ohh.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09'Skeeter loved the old place

0:02:09 > 0:02:11'as much as I did.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13'And he always tried to come up with ways to make it even better.'

0:02:13 > 0:02:15THUNDER SKEETER: I've got a lot

0:02:15 > 0:02:17of ideas how to improve things around here.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19You know, I was thinking we could put

0:02:19 > 0:02:21an extra pair of socks in each room

0:02:21 > 0:02:24because people always forget to pack enough socks

0:02:24 > 0:02:27when they go on a trip. That's a good idea.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Now, time for bed. I'm meeting with Mr Nottingham.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Wait, Dad. I'm not even tired.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35Well, how about a bedtime story?

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Yay!

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Now, once upon a time,

0:02:42 > 0:02:44there was a little boy,

0:02:44 > 0:02:47and that little boy's name was Skeeter...

0:02:47 > 0:02:49'Well, I could tell a pretty fair tale

0:02:49 > 0:02:51'when the muse was with me.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53'And making my little boy smile,

0:02:53 > 0:02:56'now, that was truly magical.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00'Yeah, I was a pretty good dad and a pretty good host

0:03:00 > 0:03:02'but, unfortunately,

0:03:02 > 0:03:05'a pretty bad businessman.'

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Can't you read the writing on the wall, Bronson?

0:03:08 > 0:03:10This motel is sinking in red ink,

0:03:10 > 0:03:13and I'm offering you the last lifeboat.

0:03:13 > 0:03:14SIGHS

0:03:14 > 0:03:16I don't know.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18NOTTINGHAM: I've seen the books, Martin.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21If you don't sell to me, you're going to go bankrupt.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23Yes, well, I...

0:03:23 > 0:03:26I'd always hoped this place would be a home for my children.

0:03:26 > 0:03:28NOTTINGHAM: How about this?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31If your boy works hard and shows some smarts when he grows up,

0:03:31 > 0:03:33I'll let him run this place.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36SIGHS: You promise?

0:03:36 > 0:03:37Yes.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39Now, sign the bloody papers.

0:03:45 > 0:03:47NOTTINGHAM: That's my boy, Bronson.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Trust me. I'm going to turn this place

0:03:49 > 0:03:52into the finest hotel in Los Angeles.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55It's going to be uptight and out of sight.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57'And just like that,

0:03:57 > 0:04:00'our modest little Sunny Vista Motel

0:04:00 > 0:04:02'metamorphosized into the mighty

0:04:02 > 0:04:05'Sunny Vista Nottingham.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07'And for the past 25 years,

0:04:07 > 0:04:10'it has been lovingly maintained by my now grown-up son,

0:04:10 > 0:04:13'Skeeter Bronson, the handyman.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16'Yes, though Mr Nottingham's promise for Skeeter to run the place

0:04:16 > 0:04:19'seems to have been forgotten...' Hiya, pop.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22'My boy always works diligently with a hopeful heart,

0:04:22 > 0:04:24'still waiting for his shot.'

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Mrs Dixon? Is there a problem with her room?

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Oh, it's nothing you should bother your tiny mind about, Bronson.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32Mrs Dixon here has been taking the nip bottles of liquor

0:04:32 > 0:04:35out of her mini-bar, and now she doesn't want to pay for it.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38I never even touched that evil little refrigerator.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40I don't drink alcohol.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Of course. Well, there's probably a mix-up.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44- I saw who took it. - OK.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46He had red hair and a beard.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48He was wearing a green suit with brass buttons.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51And he stands about ten inches tall.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53So, we're talking about a leprechaun?

0:04:53 > 0:04:55- There you go. - Oh.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57I didn't know your brother was in town.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00So, er, here's what I think we should do -

0:05:00 > 0:05:02put all the missing bottles on my tab.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05And next time you see any leprechauns, we'll tell Aspen.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08She's half-troll. I think trolls eat leprechauns.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Am I right? SCOFFS

0:05:10 > 0:05:12She would.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16MARTY: Today, magic is in the air at the grand hotel,

0:05:16 > 0:05:19and the winds of change are about to blow our story

0:05:19 > 0:05:21in a strange new direction.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24But what would you expect in a hotel founded by someone

0:05:24 > 0:05:26who loved a good story as much as I?

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Time is of the essence here, Skeeter.

0:05:29 > 0:05:30Oh, yeah, I know. I just don't want

0:05:30 > 0:05:32the big boss man to get electrocuted.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33Of course.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36You fixed it? Let me see here.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38FEEDBACK: Yo, yo. Yo, yo.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41Check, check. 1, 2. Come on. Yeah, yeah.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Hear me in the back? Whoa, whoa. - Skeeter.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45I say "Barry," you say "Nottingham."

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Barry. ALL: Nottingham.

0:05:47 > 0:05:48Barry. ALL: Nottingham.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51# Barry had a Nottingham

0:05:51 > 0:05:53# Nottingham, Nottingham

0:05:53 > 0:05:55# Barry had a Nottingham

0:05:55 > 0:05:57# Whose beard was white as snow. #

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Ha ha ha! Come on, give it up for the big man.

0:06:00 > 0:06:01APPLAUSE

0:06:01 > 0:06:03All right. Got them warmed up for you, sir.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05- It's good to see you again. - Germs.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07- Germs? - Uh, Skeeter, Mr Nottingham

0:06:07 > 0:06:10has developed a fear - er, not a fear, an awareness

0:06:10 > 0:06:12of germs and how dangerous they can be

0:06:12 > 0:06:16when not properly...feared. So...

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Hey, you're probably doing the right thing. I didn't shower today.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20So, yeah, let me get out of here.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22SKEETER: Barry Nottingham, everybody.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26He's brilliant, him. I love this guy.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28NOTTINGHAM: Welcome.

0:06:28 > 0:06:33As you know, I own 23 hotels from Berlin to Beijing.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35But it's no secret that this one,

0:06:35 > 0:06:38the Sunny Vista Nottingham, is my favourite.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44However, this is a 20th-century hotel.

0:06:44 > 0:06:48We need something for the 21st century.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51And so, we have decided to close this hotel

0:06:51 > 0:06:56and to build a brand-new Sunny Vista Mega Nottingham.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58APPLAUSE

0:06:58 > 0:07:02This will be the largest hotel on the West Coast...

0:07:02 > 0:07:05I simply don't understand what all the fuss is about. It's just a big building.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Oh, no, no. This is like the future of the hotel business.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12And a top-secret theme that will blow your mind.

0:07:12 > 0:07:13LAUGHTER

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Yes!

0:07:15 > 0:07:20So, I'm proud to announce the new hotel's general manager.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23He's been waiting on this for a long time.

0:07:23 > 0:07:27We all know how hard he works, how intelligent he is,

0:07:27 > 0:07:29how much this hotel means to him.

0:07:29 > 0:07:33Take a bow, Mr Kendall Duncan!

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Take a bow, Kendall.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Boo!

0:07:38 > 0:07:39HISSING

0:07:39 > 0:07:42MAN: A beautiful speech, sir. A beautiful speech.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44I'm so glad you could come.

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Good to see you.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Don't touch me.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Well done, Daddy.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54Oh, oh, hello there. Do you know my daughter, Violet?

0:07:54 > 0:07:57- Only by reputation, sir. - Excuse me?

0:07:57 > 0:08:01No, not that she has a reputation, just...I heard she's very hot.

0:08:01 > 0:08:07Not hot as in hot. I meant warm-hearted.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10And she likes to go out and have fun, festive times,

0:08:10 > 0:08:13in bars, with a lot of different guys, and...

0:08:13 > 0:08:15That's the old Violet Nottingham, my friend,

0:08:15 > 0:08:17before she met me. Now it's up to me

0:08:17 > 0:08:19to keep my little Pooky-bear out of the spotlight

0:08:19 > 0:08:21and nightclubs and tabloids. Isn't that right, sir?

0:08:21 > 0:08:23CHUCKLES Violet's off to her private tennis lesson

0:08:23 > 0:08:25with Roger Federer.

0:08:25 > 0:08:26Oh, all right. Good for you.

0:08:26 > 0:08:27Bye, boys.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30Got to say, er...

0:08:30 > 0:08:32it's going to be hard for me to see the hotel

0:08:32 > 0:08:34move locations like this.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37Well, I do hope you'll feel able to come and work with us there.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Big as Kendall wants to make it,

0:08:39 > 0:08:41well, there's going to be an awful lot of light bulbs to change.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44SNICKERING You know, someone touched me.

0:08:44 > 0:08:45- Is there any sanitiser? - There is, sir.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Come this way. I'll get you some.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Can't be too careful, Kendall.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00All right. Everyone who's finished at the pottery table

0:09:00 > 0:09:02needs to bring their artwork to the kiln.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Oh, and the man with the rescue donkey is leaving in five minutes,

0:09:04 > 0:09:06so, if you haven't gotten a ride, hurry up.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Thank you, Principal Duva.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Oh, I'm not a principal at this party. I'm a mom.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Hey!

0:09:12 > 0:09:15I notice no-one's eating the gluten-free wheatgrass cake.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18Come on! Trust me! You've just got to get past the smell!

0:09:22 > 0:09:26What? The clown died?

0:09:26 > 0:09:27What's in that bag?

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Oh, chocolate chip cookies.

0:09:29 > 0:09:30Food!

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Whoa! Slow it down. Slow it down.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Hey, sissy.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36What, do you have to bring sugary, chemical-filled crud

0:09:36 > 0:09:37to my house every time you visit?

0:09:37 > 0:09:39What? Every time I visit?

0:09:39 > 0:09:41You haven't invited me here in four years.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43What are you talking about? It hasn't been four years.

0:09:43 > 0:09:46Remember the Fourth of July barbecue when you punched my husband?

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Yes, that was four years ago.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51I wanted to give him a wedgie but his underwear had holes in it.

0:09:51 > 0:09:54I knew he was going to be your ex-husband some day...

0:09:54 > 0:09:56All right. Let's not start.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58How are the kids handling the old divorce, anyways?

0:09:58 > 0:10:01They're both kind of off right now. Bobbi's been really quiet.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03Why don't you go say hi? I'm going to go pay the donkey guy.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Oh, is that what stinks in here?

0:10:05 > 0:10:06No, it's the cake.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08What did she make, donkey cake?

0:10:08 > 0:10:11KIDS LAUGH I smell manure!

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Hey, you guys. Remember me?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16Uncle Skeeter.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Man, you got big. Haven't seen you in a while.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22Happy birthday there, Bobbi.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.

0:10:24 > 0:10:25Oh. My bad.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Got you a little something.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Happy birthday, Bobbi. Heh.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Here you go. Picked it up at the hotel.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34How's school going?

0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Skeeter? - Yeah.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Getting called to the principal's office. Look at that.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Have fun with the gifts. And...

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Yes, yes.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46Shampoo?

0:10:46 > 0:10:48And a soap?

0:10:48 > 0:10:51Hanger and a towel.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Do not talk about school with them.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Why? What's going on with the school?

0:10:55 > 0:10:57- They're closing it down. - No.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59- I'm getting laid off. - You?

0:10:59 > 0:11:01But you're like the classic school principal.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04I mean, you're scary and bad with people,

0:11:04 > 0:11:06and children are nervous around you.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08That doesn't sound right, but I'm just saying,

0:11:08 > 0:11:10what else could you do? Besides, maybe...

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Cuban dictator? Or the bogeyman.

0:11:12 > 0:11:13You could be the bogeyman.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15- Anyway... - What? What?

0:11:15 > 0:11:17I've got some interviews set up in Arizona,

0:11:17 > 0:11:19which is kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Uh-oh.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23I need you to watch the kids...for a week.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26No! No, they don't even like me!

0:11:26 > 0:11:28It's not going to be difficult, Skeeter.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30My friend Jill is a teacher at my school.

0:11:30 > 0:11:31She'll bring the kids in with her in the morning,

0:11:31 > 0:11:33and she'll watch them till dinnertime.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35All you gotta do is the night shift.

0:11:35 > 0:11:36Why can't your stupid friend do that?

0:11:36 > 0:11:39She's got night school. Skeeter...

0:11:39 > 0:11:42my husband left me. I'm getting laid off.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44I-I have to move. I need your help.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47So, you need me. This is good.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50I'll do it. But you got to say,

0:11:50 > 0:11:52"Skeeter is the coolest. I am a nerd."

0:11:52 > 0:11:54"Skeeter's the coolest, I'm a nerd?"

0:11:54 > 0:11:57Yeah, you are! Whoo!

0:11:57 > 0:11:58OK. Hey, you guys.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01I'm going to hang out with you this week. All right? Uh,

0:12:01 > 0:12:02maybe we can go...fishing.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05Uh, I'd rather you didn't. Patrick's not a strong enough swimmer.

0:12:05 > 0:12:07OK, we'll stay inside.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09How about, er, we play some poker? I can teach you that.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Gambling? I don't think so.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14OK, how about we just take walks in the park

0:12:14 > 0:12:16and catalogue plant species?

0:12:16 > 0:12:17Now you're talking.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19I don't know anything about plants, except you try to make

0:12:19 > 0:12:21cakes out of them!

0:12:21 > 0:12:23He liked that one. I'm going to end with a big laugh, then.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Give me some.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26Huh?

0:12:26 > 0:12:29I wasn't going to hit you. I was just trying to do the fist thing.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31You don't know the fist thing?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33OK. I was just..

0:12:33 > 0:12:37That's what...children do. Ay-ay-ay...

0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oh, this your truck, chief?

0:12:42 > 0:12:44Yes, it is, ma'am.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46You realise you're taking up two parking spaces?

0:12:46 > 0:12:48It's a big truck, ma'am.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50It's not that big, sir. You could fit into one spot.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52I had to park all the way down the block.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Oh. Well, next time, why don't you park in that box?

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Plenty of room in there.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58Anyway, here's the situation.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00This is not really my truck.

0:13:00 > 0:13:01This is the hotel I work for's truck.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04So, if I get a scratch on it, they take it out of my salary.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07So, two parking spaces provides me with what I call

0:13:07 > 0:13:10"a cushion of protection."

0:13:10 > 0:13:13Oh, wait. Hotel? Oh, wait. You're Wendy's brother.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15- Yeah. - I'm Jill.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Who's that? - I'm her friend,

0:13:18 > 0:13:20the one who's helping take care of the kids next week.

0:13:20 > 0:13:21I'm taking the day shift.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23OK, June.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25You plan on being this hostile the whole time?

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Jill. My name is Jill.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29And do you plan on keeping that haircut the rest of the time?

0:13:29 > 0:13:33Oh, haven't you heard? Goofy is the new handsome.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37ENGINE SPUTTERS AND BANGS

0:13:37 > 0:13:39That sounds good for the environment(!)

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Oh, we can't all have Priuses.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43How do you know I drive a Prius?

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Your whole aura reads Prius.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49IMITATES BEAMING

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Anyways, you're in my cushion of protection right now.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54I want to back up, so if you could just zing-zang up there,

0:13:54 > 0:13:57- that would be helpful. - Yeah.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00By the way, you might want some Cinnabons. You're going to need it.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02Food! KIDS SHOUTING

0:14:02 > 0:14:04SKEETER: Give it back!

0:14:04 > 0:14:06Somebody owes me six bucks!

0:14:06 > 0:14:10So, why didn't you demand that he make you the big boss

0:14:10 > 0:14:12of the new hotel? He promised your dad.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14I wanted to. It just wasn't the right time.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16So listen, let me tell you how it works.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18The big man's giving the job to Kendall

0:14:18 > 0:14:19because he's dating his daughter.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22That's the way it works in the business world - keep it in the family.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24He gets the girl, he gets the job, he gets everything.

0:14:24 > 0:14:26And I get nothing.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28CELLPHONE: Ring, ring, ring, ring

0:14:28 > 0:14:30ring, ring, ring, ring.

0:14:30 > 0:14:31Hello?

0:14:31 > 0:14:33JILL: Where are you? Are you still there?

0:14:33 > 0:14:35I'm still where? Who's this?

0:14:35 > 0:14:38'Look, I've got to get to class. The kids are waiting for you, OK?'

0:14:38 > 0:14:40Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.

0:14:40 > 0:14:43I forgot. I'll be there in, like, 20 minutes.

0:14:43 > 0:14:44PHONE BEEPS OFF

0:14:44 > 0:14:47I'm going to baby-sit my nephew and niece tonight.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50Oh, good. Got any advice for me?

0:14:50 > 0:14:53Yes, I do, actually. Um, sometimes I baby-sit my cousins, right?

0:14:53 > 0:14:55- Uh-huh. - And what I do is, I let them style me hair.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58Like, put beads into it and braid it,

0:14:58 > 0:15:00make me look all real sexy like Milli Vanilli,

0:15:00 > 0:15:02stuff like that. You should try that.

0:15:02 > 0:15:03Braid my hair? That's a good idea.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Can I have some French fries?

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Of course you can. You're my best friend.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09GASPS: Ah! Ah!

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Actually, I really like ketchup on my face

0:15:11 > 0:15:13because it's really rejuvenating for the skin.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16So, who's the real victim? You are.

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Mmm! Delicious.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Do you think these signs will help?

0:15:24 > 0:15:26Well, miracles happen, you know?

0:15:26 > 0:15:29You mean like Dad coming back?

0:15:29 > 0:15:30Um...

0:15:30 > 0:15:33DOOR CLOSES Dip, dip, dip, do!

0:15:33 > 0:15:36LAUGHING Hey! Sorry I'm late.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39So, um, their pyjamas are on their beds,

0:15:39 > 0:15:42and I will be back, um, at 8:30 to pick them up, OK?

0:15:42 > 0:15:45All right. Here is my cellphone number.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47And call me if there's any emergencies.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50Mmm. All right. Have fun at night school.

0:15:50 > 0:15:53- Bye, guys. - Bye.

0:15:53 > 0:15:58All packed up. I got my toothbrush and toothpaste.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03Some clean underwear.

0:16:03 > 0:16:04Maybe not that clean.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07You guys want to watch TV?

0:16:07 > 0:16:09We don't have a TV.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11CELL PHONE RINGS Hello?

0:16:11 > 0:16:14SKEETER: Emergency!

0:16:14 > 0:16:16They don't have a TV.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Yeah. Wendy doesn't let them watch TV. You didn't know that?

0:16:18 > 0:16:20I-I don't know a lot of things about these kids.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23I wasn't allowed over here. Their old man didn't like me.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26OK, listen, you don't need a TV. You can, um, play a game. You can do a puzzle.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28I'm sure you can figure something out. OK?

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Whoa, whoa, whoa! So, should I let them

0:16:30 > 0:16:32braid my hair or something? Would they like that?

0:16:32 > 0:16:35I don't think anyone should touch that hair.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Hey!

0:16:39 > 0:16:45What do you say we go next door and toilet-paper your neighbour's trees?

0:16:45 > 0:16:47No?

0:16:48 > 0:16:50OK, bedtime!

0:16:50 > 0:16:52THUNDER

0:16:59 > 0:17:01OK, so you guys cool?

0:17:01 > 0:17:03You have to read us a bedtime story.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06Yeah, all right. You have any?

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Whoo! What do you got here, anyways?

0:17:11 > 0:17:14"Rainbow Alligator Saves the Wetlands"?

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Mmm, no.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20"The Organic Squirrel Gets a Bike Helmet"?

0:17:20 > 0:17:22I'm not reading these communist books to you guys.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Don't you got any real stories?

0:17:24 > 0:17:25Like what?

0:17:25 > 0:17:26Like what?

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Like cowboys or dragons or aliens or -

0:17:29 > 0:17:32what the heck is on my head right now?

0:17:32 > 0:17:35That's Bugsy, our guinea pig.

0:17:35 > 0:17:36Why do you call him Bugsy?

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Because of his eyes.

0:17:38 > 0:17:39Let me see them.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Aah! SQUEAKING

0:17:41 > 0:17:46Wow! Those eyes would be big on a cow.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48SQUEAKING

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Are those eyeballs or bowling balls?

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Can't keep my eyes off of them.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Just get in there so I don't have to look at them any more.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Goodbye. Anyways, er,

0:17:57 > 0:18:00you guys want me to, er, make up a story for you?

0:18:00 > 0:18:01Like my old man used to do for me?

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Maybe I could be good at this.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08All right. Um...

0:18:08 > 0:18:11here goes. Once upon a time,

0:18:11 > 0:18:15in a magical, faraway kingdom...

0:18:15 > 0:18:18there was a brave and noble knight,

0:18:18 > 0:18:21strikingly handsome,

0:18:21 > 0:18:23who lived in a grand castle

0:18:23 > 0:18:26that weary travellers from near and far

0:18:26 > 0:18:28would come and visit.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32Now, this knight had been working his butt off for years.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35You'd think he'd be a shoo-in to rule the castle, right?

0:18:35 > 0:18:37PATRICK: Right. SKEETER: Wrong.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40Actually, he wasn't even a knight at all.

0:18:42 > 0:18:43NEIGHS

0:18:43 > 0:18:45BRITISH ACCENT: Oh, no.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50SKEETER, NARRATING: He was, in fact, just a lowly peasant.

0:18:50 > 0:18:54And even though he was the son of the late, great Lord Marty...

0:18:54 > 0:18:55Thank you.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59..and knew everything there is to know about running a castle,

0:18:59 > 0:19:02everyone just took him for granted.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06His name was Mr Underappreciated.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08What's "underdemeciated"?

0:19:08 > 0:19:11Under de-what? Underdemeciated.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13That's right. I forgot you were six.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16His name was Sir...Fix-a-lot.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19SKEETER, NARRATING: But alas, the kingdom where Sir Fix-a-lot lived

0:19:19 > 0:19:22did not place much value on dedication or hard work, I guess,

0:19:22 > 0:19:25because the superstar in all the land

0:19:25 > 0:19:28was Sir Butt-kiss.

0:19:28 > 0:19:32And he spent all his days kissing everybody's butt.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34IMITATES KISSING

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Boo! GIGGLES

0:19:36 > 0:19:38And my lord, yes, of course I can get you

0:19:38 > 0:19:41front row house seats to "The Lion King."

0:19:41 > 0:19:44And Sir Fix-a-lot had a best friend, Friar Fred,

0:19:44 > 0:19:46who was not right in the head.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48She never! No!

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Not our queen. I won't have that.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52Were there any kids in the kingdom?

0:19:52 > 0:19:55SKEETER, NARRATING: Yes, yes. Of course.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57There were two young pages -

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Mistress Stinky and Master Smelly.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Hey-oh. And don't forget...

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Jillian! The queen of the fairies!

0:20:05 > 0:20:07SKEETER, NARRATING: Queen of the fairies?

0:20:07 > 0:20:10I mean, if she has to be there, let's just make her an angry raven.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14CAWING

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Parking spot!

0:20:16 > 0:20:18PATRICK: She should be a mermaid teacher.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21BOBBI: Yeah, the best mermaid teacher in the world.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23Children, open your books to page 16.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25Yes, Miss Mermaid.

0:20:25 > 0:20:26Let's begin.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28All right, she's a mermaid. Whatever you want.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Anyways, back to the story.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33One day, the king invited all his subjects to the castle.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36I bring glad tidings.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38For on this day, I have chosen a champion

0:20:38 > 0:20:40who will run this castle

0:20:40 > 0:20:45and be my closest advisor and bestest buddy.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47My new champion is...

0:20:47 > 0:20:49Sir Butt-kiss!

0:20:49 > 0:20:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Thank you.

0:21:00 > 0:21:04Poor Sir Fix-a-lot had been passed over.

0:21:04 > 0:21:08So, Sir Fix-a-lot moved into a giant shoe,

0:21:08 > 0:21:11got a bad case of athlete's face,

0:21:11 > 0:21:13dove into a moat...

0:21:13 > 0:21:15ah, what the heck. Aah!

0:21:15 > 0:21:18And got eaten by crocodiles. SHOUTING

0:21:18 > 0:21:20The end.

0:21:20 > 0:21:21The end?!

0:21:21 > 0:21:23That can't be the end.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25- Why? Why not? - It's not happy.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27There aren't happy endings in real life.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29The sooner you guys know that, the better.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31- It's not fair! - What? What's not fair?

0:21:31 > 0:21:35I mean, shouldn't Sir Fix-a-lot at least get a shot to be champion?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37A shot? Hmm...

0:21:37 > 0:21:39if Sir Fix-a-lot is better than Sir Butt-kiss,

0:21:39 > 0:21:41he should get a chance to prove it.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44OK. Yeah, yeah, Bobbi, good.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46BOBBI: What the king really said was...

0:21:46 > 0:21:48on second thought,

0:21:48 > 0:21:51there is another worthy man in my kingdom,

0:21:51 > 0:21:54and it wouldn't be fair unless he got a shot, too.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57Sir Fix-a-lot!

0:21:57 > 0:21:59SKEETER, NARRATING: And then the crowd went nuts.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02# Don't stop believin'... #

0:22:02 > 0:22:06But Sir-fix-a-lot is as common as muck.

0:22:06 > 0:22:07Boo!

0:22:07 > 0:22:09SKEETER, NARRATING: And Friar Fred drop-kicked

0:22:09 > 0:22:11a booing goblin.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12Boo! Aah!

0:22:12 > 0:22:15And the mermaid teacher did one of those

0:22:15 > 0:22:17weird tail dolphin moves.

0:22:19 > 0:22:23And Stinky and Smelly did the fastest Irish jig ever.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Whoo-hoo-hoo!

0:22:25 > 0:22:28LAUGHS: Yeah. Right on.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30SKEETER, NARRATING: Prince Bugsy busted out some fancy moves.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32SQUEAKING

0:22:32 > 0:22:34And then...and then...

0:22:34 > 0:22:36it started raining gumballs.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39# Streetlights... #

0:22:39 > 0:22:41Raining gumballs?

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Why not? It's a bedtime story. Anything can happen.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47Yeah, yeah. I guess in a story.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50I just wish it was like that in real life. I really do.

0:22:50 > 0:22:51BELL CHIMES

0:22:51 > 0:22:54- What was that? - Bugsy.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55CHITTERS

0:22:55 > 0:22:58Oh. He rings that bell when he's hungry?

0:22:58 > 0:23:01No, when he needs to go to sleep.

0:23:01 > 0:23:02CHITTERS

0:23:02 > 0:23:04GURGLING

0:23:04 > 0:23:07YAWNS

0:23:07 > 0:23:10OK. As you wish, your highness.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15All right, you guys, have a good sleep.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17You, too, er, weird eyes.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20BUGSY CHITTERS IMITATES CHIRPING

0:23:24 > 0:23:27SKEETER: Well, I don't have much to work with,

0:23:27 > 0:23:32but I will make us a delicious breakfast

0:23:32 > 0:23:35that I know you will enjoy.

0:23:35 > 0:23:38Yes, some banana on the rice cake,

0:23:38 > 0:23:41and then what do we call this? Wheat germ.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43I was told germs are bad for you, but here goes.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47I like it.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49A rice cake-banana- wheat germ sandwich.

0:23:49 > 0:23:50And what do we got?

0:23:55 > 0:23:57This is terrible.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Doesn't your mother have taste buds?

0:23:59 > 0:24:02What are we doing here? We got nothing to use in this house.

0:24:02 > 0:24:03Hang on.

0:24:05 > 0:24:08A little flavour.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12It's good, because now we don't have to brush our teeth.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17There you go. All right. At least we got a little mint going on.

0:24:17 > 0:24:18You guys want one?

0:24:18 > 0:24:21CELLPHONE: Ring, ring, ring, ring... Hang on.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24Ring, ring, ring, ring SCREECHES

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Hello!

0:24:26 > 0:24:29Bronson? The television set in Mr Nottingham's room is broken,

0:24:29 > 0:24:31and it needs to be fixed right away.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34I have kind of a situation here. I'm watching my nephew and my niece.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36Oh, I'm sorry. Are you having difficulty hearing me?

0:24:36 > 0:24:39Mr Nottingham wants to watch television now.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41I hear you. I speak trollinese, don't worry.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43There's a leprechaun behind you.

0:24:43 > 0:24:44SQUEALS

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Gotcha. PHONE BEEPS OFF

0:24:46 > 0:24:48INDISTINCT CHATTERING

0:24:48 > 0:24:51Thanks a lot, gentlemen. OK.

0:24:51 > 0:24:52- Wow. - It's pretty, huh?

0:24:52 > 0:24:54- Whoa! - Listen, I got to go

0:24:54 > 0:24:55fix my boss' television set,

0:24:55 > 0:24:57but I need somebody to watch you two.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00PAPARAZZO: Violet! Right here. Give a smile.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Hang on. Violet!

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Skeeter Bronson, the handyman from the other day?

0:25:05 > 0:25:06Oh, right. Yes.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Listen, er, I got some kids with me right now.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11They're my nephew and niece. But I gotta go fix your father's TV.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13Think you could watch them for a few minutes?

0:25:13 > 0:25:15Huh? DINGS

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Yeah, yeah, all right. I'm going.

0:25:17 > 0:25:18GASPS

0:25:18 > 0:25:21KNOCK ON DOOR NOTTINGHAM: Come in.

0:25:21 > 0:25:22DOOR OPENS

0:25:22 > 0:25:24SKEETER: Mr Nottingham, sir?

0:25:24 > 0:25:26NOTTINGHAM: Uh, the telly won't turn on.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28SKEETER: It won't? Well, let me just take a...

0:25:28 > 0:25:31tallyho at it, OK? I'll just flip this light on.

0:25:31 > 0:25:35No, no, no, no! Absolutely not!

0:25:35 > 0:25:36I'm fighting a cold here.

0:25:36 > 0:25:38I must stay in the dark whenever possible.

0:25:38 > 0:25:41Do you realise germs can reproduce

0:25:41 > 0:25:4480% per cent faster in bright light?

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Oh, OK. Here we go, nice and dark again.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49- The germs are confused. - Come towards me.

0:25:49 > 0:25:52OK. It's got to be around here somewhere.

0:25:52 > 0:25:53SKEETER SHOUTS CRASHING

0:25:53 > 0:25:55NOTTINGHAM: Oh, for heaven's sake, man.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58I'm so sorry, sir. I just... I can't see a thing.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01- To your left, there. - Oh! There's the TV.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03So how's the, er, new hotel coming, sir?

0:26:03 > 0:26:05Oh, very well.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07Still dealing with the city on building permits and whatnot.

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Uh-huh.

0:26:09 > 0:26:11I can't tell you the secret theme.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13It's so good, we don't want anyone to steal it.

0:26:13 > 0:26:14I hear you, sir.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16OK, I'll tell you.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Come along, sit down. Please.

0:26:18 > 0:26:19Great.

0:26:20 > 0:26:21Ready?

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Rock and roll.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28Vintage vinyl. Music memorabilia in the lobby.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30Oh, OK. Like, er,

0:26:30 > 0:26:32- like the Hard Rock. - The what-what?

0:26:32 > 0:26:34The Hard Rock hotel.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37They've been using that theme for, like, years.

0:26:38 > 0:26:43Get Kendall Duncan up here straight away, please.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Oh, what a perfect little powder puff.

0:26:45 > 0:26:49SQUEAKS AND PURRS

0:26:49 > 0:26:51VIOLET: Thank you.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53So, Patrick, truth or dare?

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Truth?

0:26:55 > 0:26:59How old were you the first time you kissed a girl?

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Patrick never kissed a girl.

0:27:01 > 0:27:03Girls are bis-crusting.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05Except for Trisha Sparks.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Ooh, is that a girl in your class,

0:27:07 > 0:27:09you little Romeo?

0:27:09 > 0:27:10JILL: Hey, guys.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12Hi, Aunt Jill. Did you get the note we left you?

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Yes, I did.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16And, er, now we have to get you guys ready for school, OK?

0:27:16 > 0:27:18- So, come on. - Hi.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Hi.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22Oh. Hey. You're, um...

0:27:22 > 0:27:25Uh-huh. Here's your fat mouse.

0:27:25 > 0:27:26It's a guinea pig, but...

0:27:26 > 0:27:29and you, young man...

0:27:29 > 0:27:32I want to hear all about this little Trisha Sparks

0:27:32 > 0:27:34next time I see you.

0:27:34 > 0:27:36Heh.

0:27:37 > 0:27:39Trisha Sparks is two years older than you.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42She's hot.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46I'm very disappointed in you, Kendall.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48We almost made an apocalyptic mistake.

0:27:48 > 0:27:54This rock and roll idea of yours is old hat.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Well, sir, I had every intention

0:27:56 > 0:27:58of putting our own spin on it.

0:27:58 > 0:27:59Do you know what, Skeeter?

0:27:59 > 0:28:02I'm starting to get a fuzzy recollection

0:28:02 > 0:28:04of something I said to your father.

0:28:04 > 0:28:08In fact, I am going to give you a shot.

0:28:09 > 0:28:13If you can come up with a better theme than Kendall does,

0:28:13 > 0:28:15I'll let you run the new place instead.

0:28:15 > 0:28:17KENDALL LAUGHS: Oh, sir.

0:28:17 > 0:28:20Don't you think this is perhaps a little too much of a cruel joke

0:28:20 > 0:28:23to be playing on somebody as... well, the maintenance guy?

0:28:23 > 0:28:25- No, I don't. - No.

0:28:25 > 0:28:30Mr Bronson has been working for this company for 25 years.

0:28:30 > 0:28:33I'm beginning to think I may have seriously underdemeciated him.

0:28:33 > 0:28:35KENDALL: I'm sorry.

0:28:35 > 0:28:37"Underdemeciated"?

0:28:37 > 0:28:38Precisely.

0:28:38 > 0:28:40You can both present your ideas

0:28:40 > 0:28:42at my birthday party this weekend.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44Thank you, Kendall. That is all.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47Mr Bronson, the television, if you would.

0:28:47 > 0:28:50Oh, and do watch out for the germ vaporiser.

0:28:50 > 0:28:51CRASH SHOUTS

0:28:51 > 0:28:53MUSIC: "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco

0:28:53 > 0:28:55SKEETER: The best day of my life!

0:28:55 > 0:28:56# Amadeus, Amadeus

0:28:56 > 0:28:58# Amadeus, ow! Amadeus

0:28:58 > 0:29:00# Amadeus, Amadeus... Yeah, yeah, yeah!

0:29:00 > 0:29:01# Amadeus, Amadeus

0:29:01 > 0:29:03# Amadeus...

0:29:03 > 0:29:05# You got to rock me, Amadeus

0:29:05 > 0:29:08# Amadeus, Amadeus... # ENGINE REVS

0:29:08 > 0:29:09TURNS RADIO OFF

0:29:09 > 0:29:12Whoa. I like your car, pal.

0:29:12 > 0:29:14Hey, thanks, champ. You know what they say -

0:29:14 > 0:29:16you want to be the best, you got to drive the best.

0:29:16 > 0:29:20Hey, uh - not to get personal, but what's a sweet ride like that cost?

0:29:20 > 0:29:23Actually, it's surprisingly affordable.

0:29:23 > 0:29:27- Yeah? - If you saved every pay cheque for the reat of your life

0:29:27 > 0:29:30and then multiplied it by ten, you could probably buy my muffler!

0:29:30 > 0:29:32Ha ha ha!

0:29:32 > 0:29:34Ah-ooga! TYRES SCREECHING

0:29:34 > 0:29:37Oh, you want to drag race, do you?

0:29:37 > 0:29:40SPUTTERS AND BACKFIRES

0:29:40 > 0:29:43You win! Good job.

0:30:02 > 0:30:04What?

0:30:32 > 0:30:34This is spooky.

0:30:40 > 0:30:42MAN: You've got to be kidding me! Look at this.

0:30:42 > 0:30:44Look, I'm losing all my candy.

0:30:44 > 0:30:48How can you not see a 50-foot trailer? Come on.

0:30:51 > 0:30:54So, you have to compete for your job with Skeeter Bronson.

0:30:54 > 0:30:56- You'll annihilate him. - Oh, I know.

0:30:56 > 0:30:58It's just a little degrading, that's all.

0:30:58 > 0:31:00TELEPHONES RINGING

0:31:00 > 0:31:03Thanks for being there.

0:31:03 > 0:31:06Oh, I'll be there as long as there's a there to be at.

0:31:07 > 0:31:08GROWLS

0:31:08 > 0:31:09BARKS

0:31:09 > 0:31:11CLEARS THROAT

0:31:11 > 0:31:12Oh, hello, children.

0:31:12 > 0:31:14We're looking for Skeeter Bronson.

0:31:14 > 0:31:16GROANS Oh, Mr Bronson.

0:31:16 > 0:31:18Yes, you'll find him in room 109.

0:31:18 > 0:31:20- OK. - Please, this way.

0:31:20 > 0:31:22BUGSY CHITTERING

0:31:30 > 0:31:32Oh, my God! Did you see that thing?

0:31:32 > 0:31:34Those eyes. They were-they were staring

0:31:34 > 0:31:36into my very soul.

0:31:37 > 0:31:39- Hey, uncle Skeeter! - Hey! Hey!

0:31:39 > 0:31:40Just who I wanted to see.

0:31:40 > 0:31:42Hey, chief, here's Bugsy. Got him.

0:31:42 > 0:31:44And why do they have to stay here again?

0:31:44 > 0:31:46Because I'm on call tonight, Jennifer.

0:31:46 > 0:31:48It's Jill, actually, Scooter.

0:31:48 > 0:31:50It is? OK, yeah...

0:31:52 > 0:31:53you did not just do that.

0:31:53 > 0:31:55I did. Watch. I'm going to do it again.

0:31:57 > 0:32:00So, guys, anything weird happen to you today?

0:32:00 > 0:32:02I had a substitute teacher with an eye patch.

0:32:02 > 0:32:06Uh, that's a little weird. But I'm talking like big-time weird.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09Maybe coincidence weird, er, as in...

0:32:09 > 0:32:11gumball weird?

0:32:11 > 0:32:13We're not allowed to chew gum.

0:32:13 > 0:32:15Of course you're not.

0:32:15 > 0:32:16You guys want to go to sleep?

0:32:16 > 0:32:18It's only 5:30.

0:32:18 > 0:32:19And we haven't had dinner.

0:32:19 > 0:32:22Hmm. OK.

0:32:22 > 0:32:23Room service!

0:32:24 > 0:32:27MICKEY: So, you've never been skateboarding?

0:32:27 > 0:32:29You've never played video games?

0:32:29 > 0:32:31Mom says they rot your brain.

0:32:31 > 0:32:34That's not true. I've been playing video games my whole life,

0:32:34 > 0:32:36and look at me.

0:32:37 > 0:32:40Yeah, maybe she's got a point.

0:32:40 > 0:32:42You - you've never eaten bacon?

0:32:42 > 0:32:44What's bacon?

0:32:44 > 0:32:49Bacon is the juicy, fatty part of the pig right adjacent to the rear.

0:32:49 > 0:32:54But delicious and tasty, not how I just made it sound.

0:32:54 > 0:32:57And this is the first hamburger you've ever eaten?

0:32:58 > 0:32:59What's the verdict? What do you think?

0:32:59 > 0:33:01Life-changing.

0:33:01 > 0:33:03- Mom's going to kill us. - No, she isn't.

0:33:03 > 0:33:05First of all, she's never going to find out about this.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07And second of all,

0:33:07 > 0:33:09she used to eat plenty of hamburgers

0:33:09 > 0:33:11when we were growing up in this very room!

0:33:11 > 0:33:12BOTH: She did?

0:33:12 > 0:33:16Looks like...Bugsy's eaten a lot of burgers in the last ten minutes.

0:33:18 > 0:33:19Wow!

0:33:19 > 0:33:22He keeps going like that, we could make bacon out of Bugsy.

0:33:22 > 0:33:23BUGSY SQUEAKS

0:33:23 > 0:33:26He's kidding, Bugsy. Take it easy.

0:33:26 > 0:33:27LAUGHTER

0:33:27 > 0:33:29OK. Let's get you carnivores to bed.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31I got a-a new story I want to lay on you.

0:33:31 > 0:33:33What do you think of cowboys and Indians?

0:33:33 > 0:33:35Oh, yes, tonight's the night!

0:33:35 > 0:33:38I just like cowboys and Indians cos of the conflict.

0:33:38 > 0:33:41OK. Once upon a time in the old west,

0:33:41 > 0:33:44before room service was even invented,

0:33:44 > 0:33:47there was a farm hand named Jeremiah skeets.

0:33:47 > 0:33:49He was looking to get ahead in the world

0:33:49 > 0:33:53but was having a problem with his current mode of transportation.

0:33:53 > 0:33:54(Whinnies like a sputtering engine)

0:33:54 > 0:33:56BACKFIRES

0:33:56 > 0:33:59JEREMIAH: Uh, that was my horse. That wasn't me, everybody.

0:33:59 > 0:34:00Heh heh.

0:34:00 > 0:34:02SKEETER, NARRATING: Someone once told Jeremiah

0:34:02 > 0:34:05that if he wanted to be the best,

0:34:05 > 0:34:07he'd have to ride the best.

0:34:07 > 0:34:09You mind showing me your finest horse?

0:34:09 > 0:34:11DRUMS PLAYING

0:34:11 > 0:34:13DISTANT CHANTING

0:34:13 > 0:34:17My ancestors believe horse spirit

0:34:17 > 0:34:21come down from mountain during time of fire,

0:34:21 > 0:34:22wind.

0:34:22 > 0:34:27Many brave warrior walk trail of moon bear...

0:34:27 > 0:34:28OK, yeah, look. I just want to see

0:34:28 > 0:34:31your finest horse, not a whole thing there.

0:34:31 > 0:34:33Sorry. I can do it. All right.

0:34:33 > 0:34:37Screaming rooster, bring out Ferrari!

0:34:37 > 0:34:38Ferrari.

0:34:38 > 0:34:41NEIGHS JEREMIAH: Whoo!

0:34:41 > 0:34:43Oh, my.

0:34:43 > 0:34:46Oh, my, oh, my! Look at that.

0:34:46 > 0:34:47(Neighs like a racing engine)

0:34:47 > 0:34:49Whoa!

0:34:49 > 0:34:51I would get automatic respect

0:34:51 > 0:34:52riding such a beautiful animal,

0:34:52 > 0:34:54but I'm afraid that's just a bit

0:34:54 > 0:34:56out of my price range.

0:34:56 > 0:34:58Tell you what, white bread. TEETH CLICK

0:34:58 > 0:35:01I'll give you Ferrari...

0:35:01 > 0:35:05(HIGH-PITCHED) ..for free!

0:35:05 > 0:35:07Boo-yah! The end. I love it.

0:35:07 > 0:35:12Brilliant story. He got it for free. I love that. I love that.

0:35:12 > 0:35:15A guy getting a free horse?

0:35:15 > 0:35:18That's not a good story.

0:35:18 > 0:35:19Where's the arc?

0:35:19 > 0:35:21There's no arc. I've not learnt anything!

0:35:21 > 0:35:26You've got a moral obligation to them. What they going to walk away from that with?

0:35:26 > 0:35:29We were doing an after-school special.

0:35:29 > 0:35:31Why can't he do something a real gentleman would do,

0:35:31 > 0:35:33like save a damsel in distress?

0:35:33 > 0:35:37Not a bad idea, munchkin.

0:35:37 > 0:35:40OK. So, er, let's continue.

0:35:40 > 0:35:43BOBBI: Jeremiah was out for a ride when...

0:35:43 > 0:35:45GUNSHOT HORSE NEIGHS

0:35:45 > 0:35:46WOMAN: Oh, please, don't!

0:35:46 > 0:35:48MAN: Give us that jewellery.

0:35:48 > 0:35:50You want my pearls? Help! Please!

0:35:50 > 0:35:51Hyah! Hyah!

0:35:51 > 0:35:54Hyah! Whoo! NEIGHS

0:35:55 > 0:35:57My necklace?

0:35:57 > 0:35:59Here, take it!

0:36:02 > 0:36:04What else you got?

0:36:04 > 0:36:06Help! Help!

0:36:09 > 0:36:12JEREMIAH: Leave the lady alone!

0:36:13 > 0:36:14NEIGHS

0:36:17 > 0:36:19Care for a lift, ma'am?

0:36:19 > 0:36:21Yeah. Oh!

0:36:21 > 0:36:23Nice horse.

0:36:23 > 0:36:25Oh, what, this old thing?

0:36:25 > 0:36:28Now, any of you gentlemen want to give the nice lady her stuff back?

0:36:28 > 0:36:30MEN GRUMBLING Not a chance, huh?

0:36:30 > 0:36:32Cos I beg to differ! MEN SHOUTING

0:36:32 > 0:36:34My hero.

0:36:36 > 0:36:39SKEETER, NARRATING: So, Jeremiah spirited miss Davenport away to safety,

0:36:39 > 0:36:41when she says...

0:36:41 > 0:36:43Shall we go drink some champagne in a nearby hot tub?

0:36:43 > 0:36:45SQUEALS AND GIGGLES

0:36:45 > 0:36:47Hot tub? Mmm.

0:36:47 > 0:36:49Uh, yeah. No.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51I was saying that because I wanted to see

0:36:51 > 0:36:54if you two were paying attention.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56SKEETER, NARRATING: What happened was,

0:36:56 > 0:36:58Jeremiah dropped Miss Davenport off

0:36:58 > 0:37:00in the nearest town, safe and sound.

0:37:00 > 0:37:02However can I thank you, sir?

0:37:02 > 0:37:04Ah, no thanks necessary, ma'am.

0:37:04 > 0:37:07But I do insist on expressing my gratitude in some manner.

0:37:07 > 0:37:10Fair enough. I'll take...

0:37:10 > 0:37:12100 million.

0:37:12 > 0:37:14CASH REGISTER DINGS The end.

0:37:14 > 0:37:16Let's hope it works.

0:37:16 > 0:37:18Very well written. Brilliantly constructed. I loved it.

0:37:18 > 0:37:21Jeremiah wouldn't take money for doing a good deed.

0:37:21 > 0:37:24Uh, I know Jeremiah a lot better than you guys.

0:37:24 > 0:37:26And believe me, he'd be all over that. He loves money.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28Mmm! I don't want that.

0:37:28 > 0:37:30Go back. Rewrite. Rewrite.

0:37:30 > 0:37:32Gentlemen don't get paid.

0:37:32 > 0:37:34Will you just... Who's telling the story here?

0:37:34 > 0:37:36It should really end more like this.

0:37:36 > 0:37:39Well, I must give you some token of my appreciation.

0:37:39 > 0:37:41Oh, no. Perhaps...

0:37:41 > 0:37:43a kiss?

0:37:43 > 0:37:45Touchdown.

0:37:45 > 0:37:47PATRICK: Then an angry dwarf kicks him.

0:37:47 > 0:37:48Uhh!

0:37:48 > 0:37:50Ow!

0:37:51 > 0:37:53What the heck did you do that for?

0:37:53 > 0:37:54Because I'm angry!

0:37:54 > 0:37:57LAUGHTER Go! Let's go!

0:37:57 > 0:37:58WOMAN: All right! Yeah!

0:38:00 > 0:38:01I didn't do nothin' to you!

0:38:01 > 0:38:03The end.

0:38:03 > 0:38:05You know what? Laugh as much as you want.

0:38:05 > 0:38:08I'll take a Ferrari and a kiss any day of the week.

0:38:08 > 0:38:10I'd just like to kiss a Ferrari.

0:38:10 > 0:38:12GIGGLING All right. Good night.

0:38:12 > 0:38:14Good night, uncle Skeeter.

0:38:14 > 0:38:15Good night, home slice.

0:38:15 > 0:38:17Thanks for the stories.

0:38:17 > 0:38:20Hey, you came up with all the good parts, Bobbi.

0:38:20 > 0:38:22Good night, y'all.

0:38:22 > 0:38:23You too, Bugsy.

0:38:23 > 0:38:26BUGSY SQUEAKS

0:38:26 > 0:38:28Them braids look fantastic. They've taken years off you.

0:38:28 > 0:38:31Hey, you mind sleeping over tonight?

0:38:31 > 0:38:33I'm going to duck out of here for a few hours.

0:38:33 > 0:38:34Oh, yeah, yeah.

0:38:34 > 0:38:40By the way, I am legally obliged to tell you I suffer from sleep panic disorder.

0:38:40 > 0:38:43OK. what's sleep panic disorder?

0:38:43 > 0:38:46Belive me, you don't want to know.

0:38:55 > 0:38:56What am I thinking?

0:38:56 > 0:38:59Why would anyone give me a free Ferrari?

0:38:59 > 0:39:03I must be losing my mind.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06Much power of the horse underneath that hood.

0:39:06 > 0:39:09DRUMS PLAYING

0:39:09 > 0:39:11DISTANT CHANTING

0:39:11 > 0:39:12Hello.

0:39:14 > 0:39:16Are you the guy I'm supposed to see?

0:39:19 > 0:39:21I'm here, aren't I?

0:39:22 > 0:39:24So...

0:39:24 > 0:39:28am I about to get a cherry-red Ferrari?

0:39:30 > 0:39:32I don't see why not.

0:39:37 > 0:39:39For...

0:39:39 > 0:39:43(HIGH-PITCHED) Free?

0:39:43 > 0:39:45Sounds good to...

0:39:45 > 0:39:48(HIGH-PITCHED) Me!

0:39:48 > 0:39:50SQUEALS: Yeah.

0:39:50 > 0:39:52What do I do now? Eat a gumball or something?

0:39:54 > 0:39:55Yes.

0:39:58 > 0:40:00Fell out of the sky, right?

0:40:00 > 0:40:02Yeah. Shh.

0:40:02 > 0:40:04Oh! Shh.

0:40:04 > 0:40:06I won't tell nobody.

0:40:08 > 0:40:11Now, close your eyes and count to three.

0:40:11 > 0:40:13OK. Then it's all going to happen.

0:40:13 > 0:40:14No. Yeah.

0:40:15 > 0:40:18One, two... Yeah.

0:40:18 > 0:40:19three.

0:40:19 > 0:40:21Ferrari!

0:40:21 > 0:40:24Hey! My wallet!

0:40:24 > 0:40:26Not any more!

0:40:26 > 0:40:28HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING

0:40:28 > 0:40:29PAPARAZZI SHOUTING

0:40:29 > 0:40:31Excuse me.

0:40:31 > 0:40:33Hi, boys.

0:40:36 > 0:40:37OK, thank you.

0:40:42 > 0:40:43Thanks, guys.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45Sorry. I'm just trying to find my car.

0:40:45 > 0:40:46(Eric Carmen performing "all by myself")

0:40:46 > 0:40:49Good thing my wallet only had 3.00 in it.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52And my Derek Jeter baseball card!

0:40:52 > 0:40:55ALL SHOUTING Guys, guys, stop, please.

0:40:55 > 0:40:58Guys, you've had enough, now. Thank you.

0:40:58 > 0:40:59Stop!

0:40:59 > 0:41:01ENGINE REVVING

0:41:03 > 0:41:06TYRES SCREECHING

0:41:06 > 0:41:09ALL SHOUTING Come on, man!

0:41:09 > 0:41:10Care for a lift, ma'am?

0:41:10 > 0:41:11Skeeter? Skeeter Bronson?

0:41:11 > 0:41:13Yes, ma'am.

0:41:15 > 0:41:18Now, what do you say you boys give the pretty lady back

0:41:18 > 0:41:20the pictures you took of her?

0:41:20 > 0:41:21ALL GRUMBLING No way, man.

0:41:21 > 0:41:24Sure about that, now? Because I beg to differ.

0:41:24 > 0:41:26BANGS

0:41:26 > 0:41:28Guy's got a gun! Let's get out of here!

0:41:29 > 0:41:32I'm just happy they didn't make me use this thing.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34DRILL WHIRRS

0:41:36 > 0:41:38My hero. Really?

0:41:38 > 0:41:40That was brilliant, Skeeter.

0:41:40 > 0:41:42(STAMMERS) I don't know what happened.

0:41:42 > 0:41:43Something kind of just took over me. It felt good, though.

0:41:43 > 0:41:45It felt real good. Yeah?

0:41:45 > 0:41:47How am I ever going to thank you?

0:41:47 > 0:41:48Hmm.

0:41:48 > 0:41:51No thanks is necessary, ma'am?

0:41:51 > 0:41:55Oh, am I in the presence of a gentleman?

0:41:55 > 0:41:57At your service, ma'am.

0:41:57 > 0:42:00Well, I must show my appreciation in some form.

0:42:04 > 0:42:05Uhh! Ow!

0:42:05 > 0:42:08Consider yourself big people-bashed, sucker.

0:42:08 > 0:42:10I knew you were going to show up.

0:42:10 > 0:42:13Get in the gremlin, Jimmy, before Sasquatch calls the cops.

0:42:13 > 0:42:15Yeah, cos that's how we do what we do. Right?

0:42:15 > 0:42:17That's what you get, buddy.

0:42:17 > 0:42:20Oh! Oh! Oh! Let's go! Yeah!

0:42:20 > 0:42:23Pull me in! Let's get out of here! Pull me in!

0:42:23 > 0:42:26LAUGHTER Big people stink!

0:42:26 > 0:42:29OK, well, you don't see that every day.

0:42:29 > 0:42:31Indeed.

0:42:31 > 0:42:34And on that strange note, I bid you good night.

0:42:34 > 0:42:37Yes, yes. CAR ALARM CHIRPS

0:42:37 > 0:42:40Oh! Oh!

0:42:40 > 0:42:42All right,

0:42:42 > 0:42:44so that's how I'm getting it.

0:42:44 > 0:42:46Getting what? This is just...

0:42:46 > 0:42:48I shouldn't. I-I couldn't.

0:42:48 > 0:42:49You know what? I can. I'm going to take it.

0:42:49 > 0:42:51Heh. What are you talking about?

0:42:51 > 0:42:54I'm talking about a very generous girl

0:42:54 > 0:42:57who wants to give her rescuer a cherry-red Ferrari..

0:42:57 > 0:42:59(HIGH-PITCHED) For free!

0:42:59 > 0:43:02HE LAUGHS This is sick!

0:43:02 > 0:43:04Well, er, good luck with that.

0:43:04 > 0:43:06I'm just going to go. What do you mean?

0:43:06 > 0:43:09Oh-do you have another one of these at your house?

0:43:09 > 0:43:11Am I supposed to follow you or something?

0:43:11 > 0:43:12So seriously, no Ferrari? No.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15ENGINE REVVING

0:43:16 > 0:43:19Where's the 100 million, at least?!

0:43:19 > 0:43:21Boo!

0:43:23 > 0:43:26TV: Hey, hey, hey! Get your own campaign vehicle.

0:43:26 > 0:43:27KNOCK ON DOOR Yeah.

0:43:27 > 0:43:30Hi. BOTH: hey, Aunt Jill.

0:43:30 > 0:43:32Hey, guys. How did last night go?

0:43:32 > 0:43:34Well, an angry dwarf kicked me in the leg,

0:43:34 > 0:43:37and I didn't get a free Ferrari, so there you go.

0:43:37 > 0:43:39Oh. How sad.

0:43:39 > 0:43:41He's talking about our bedtime story.

0:43:41 > 0:43:42Oh.

0:43:42 > 0:43:43Uncle Skeeter said Jeremiah would get

0:43:43 > 0:43:47a new horse and a kiss, but I said the dwarf would kick him.

0:43:49 > 0:43:50You said it.

0:43:50 > 0:43:52Maybe that's how it works.

0:43:52 > 0:43:54The kids control the stories.

0:43:54 > 0:43:57CHIMES RING And there are the wind chimes.

0:43:57 > 0:43:59You know what that means.

0:43:59 > 0:44:00What what means?

0:44:00 > 0:44:02Huh?

0:44:02 > 0:44:04Nothing. Don't worry about it.

0:44:04 > 0:44:05I won't.

0:44:06 > 0:44:10OK, guys. Um, what is Bugsy doing?

0:44:10 > 0:44:13PANTING

0:44:13 > 0:44:17Working off the hamburgers he ate last night.

0:44:17 > 0:44:19Yes, I gave Bugsy some hamburgers,

0:44:19 > 0:44:22but I gave the children that wheat germ stuff

0:44:22 > 0:44:25because that's what they love.

0:44:25 > 0:44:28I guess it's, er, Bugsy watching the TV then, too?

0:44:28 > 0:44:30Yeah, I flipped that on and, look, he's glued to it.

0:44:30 > 0:44:32GIGGLING

0:44:32 > 0:44:35Aah! I'm innocent!

0:44:37 > 0:44:39What was that? Uh...

0:44:39 > 0:44:41that was the sleep panic disorder, I believe.

0:44:41 > 0:44:44Why don't we, er, get out of here before the next attack?

0:44:44 > 0:44:46Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. Give your uncle a kiss.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48I'm a relative. I deserve it. Right there.

0:44:48 > 0:44:50Oh, that felt nice.

0:44:50 > 0:44:51Mwah. Uh, and how about

0:44:51 > 0:44:54one more for the road? No.

0:44:54 > 0:44:56Come on, baby!

0:44:56 > 0:44:58Don't worry, we'll be back tonight, Uncle Skeeter.

0:44:58 > 0:45:00Yeah, no, I'm not worried.

0:45:00 > 0:45:02You're coming back because we got a big story tonight!

0:45:02 > 0:45:05About some hotel theme ideas! Yeah!

0:45:05 > 0:45:08Maybe we won't come back.

0:45:08 > 0:45:09What?! Skeeter?

0:45:09 > 0:45:11Sir butt-kiss. Sir...Kendall.

0:45:11 > 0:45:13I understand that you feel a need

0:45:13 > 0:45:16to prepare for our little...showdown.

0:45:16 > 0:45:18Yeah. Well... But that does not excuse you

0:45:18 > 0:45:19from maintenance responsibilities.

0:45:19 > 0:45:21Oh, no. Now, the lights are out in the spa.

0:45:21 > 0:45:24The south service elevator is running slow. Check.

0:45:24 > 0:45:25Let me try that cheesecake.

0:45:26 > 0:45:29Oh, another thing.

0:45:29 > 0:45:33I heard about your big hero act with my girlfriend last night.

0:45:33 > 0:45:35Oh, this paparazzi was... I know what it is

0:45:35 > 0:45:37you're trying to do, and it's not going to work.

0:45:37 > 0:45:40You're going to have to find another way to cosy up to the old man,

0:45:40 > 0:45:42because I'm here to tell you...

0:45:42 > 0:45:46Violet Nottingham is not going to date a gum-scraping handyman.

0:45:48 > 0:45:50Hey, Kendall.

0:45:51 > 0:45:55Two things. First off, you got something right there.

0:45:55 > 0:45:57Yeah, now, use your hands.

0:45:57 > 0:45:59That's disturbing to see.

0:45:59 > 0:46:02Good. Secondly, when I get the job at the new hotel,

0:46:02 > 0:46:04I was actually considering keeping you on,

0:46:04 > 0:46:06so watch your tone with me.

0:46:07 > 0:46:11Your brief little trip to the land of make-believe

0:46:11 > 0:46:13is just about over, my friend. OK?

0:46:13 > 0:46:16We all know that your failed father ran this hotel into the ground,

0:46:16 > 0:46:19and thankfully, you, my friend, will not get the chance

0:46:19 > 0:46:23to make the same mistake all over again.

0:46:23 > 0:46:24May want to pick that up.

0:46:27 > 0:46:30HE SIGHS

0:46:30 > 0:46:31CELL PHONE RINGS

0:46:31 > 0:46:33Yeah, it's Duncan. ASPEN: 'Lover, hello.'

0:46:33 > 0:46:35I'm looking for the new hotel site.

0:46:35 > 0:46:37'I gave you the address, macho bunny.'

0:46:37 > 0:46:39The address you gave me is no good. There's, like, a school here.

0:46:39 > 0:46:42'Oh, what school?' Webster elementary school.

0:46:42 > 0:46:44'Oh, then you're in the right place.'

0:46:44 > 0:46:45Is that so?

0:46:45 > 0:46:48'This school is being shut down.' Uh-huh.

0:46:48 > 0:46:50'The old man pulled a few strings down at the board of education.'

0:46:50 > 0:46:53Really? 'We start demolition immediately.'

0:46:53 > 0:46:55That is very exciting news.

0:46:55 > 0:46:57'Oh, Pinky.' GROWLS AND BARKS

0:47:02 > 0:47:04LINE RINGS SKEETER: 'Hello!'

0:47:04 > 0:47:06Skeeter? Hey, it's Wendy.

0:47:06 > 0:47:09'Hey, sissy.' Hey. How's it going?

0:47:09 > 0:47:11Are the kids OK? Oh, yeah.

0:47:11 > 0:47:14'We're having a blast. That was impressive, Bobbi,

0:47:14 > 0:47:16'but your Uncle Skeeter can jump over the couch the long way.'

0:47:16 > 0:47:18Skeeter, can I talk to them?

0:47:18 > 0:47:20'Actually, no. I'm taking them camping.'

0:47:20 > 0:47:22No? 'Have fun in Arizona. Bye!'

0:47:22 > 0:47:25Camping? No, Skeeter, they could get poison ivy!

0:47:25 > 0:47:27SKEETER: Let's go. Quietly. PATRICK: where are we going?

0:47:27 > 0:47:28We're going someplace special, you fools.

0:47:28 > 0:47:31BUGSY: Whoo-hoo! Now, march. March.

0:47:31 > 0:47:33March. March.

0:47:33 > 0:47:35I don't know, but it's been said

0:47:35 > 0:47:36Bugsy's eyes pop out of his head.

0:47:36 > 0:47:38March. March. March... KIDS GIGGLING

0:47:38 > 0:47:41BUGSY: Whoo-hoo! March. Let's go.

0:47:42 > 0:47:44KIDS: Whoa! Going to have ourselves a little camp-out.

0:47:44 > 0:47:46Cool! Check it out.

0:47:46 > 0:47:48JILL: You guys, look what he's done!

0:47:48 > 0:47:51Isn't this cool? See? See how nice I am?

0:47:51 > 0:47:52Yeah. Whoa. OK, you guys,

0:47:52 > 0:47:54just be careful around the fire.

0:47:54 > 0:47:57Hey, Jill. Shh. Don't want everyone to hear we're here.

0:47:57 > 0:47:59ALL CHATTERING

0:47:59 > 0:48:01PATRICK: I heard about marshmallows,

0:48:01 > 0:48:03saw them in magazines.

0:48:03 > 0:48:06I never imagined they would be this good.

0:48:06 > 0:48:08Yeah. Well, let's just hope

0:48:08 > 0:48:09your mother doesn't find out I gave you any.

0:48:09 > 0:48:12I won't tell her. I'm not talking about you.

0:48:12 > 0:48:13She's the weak link.

0:48:13 > 0:48:15I think I can let this one slide.

0:48:15 > 0:48:17Ah! The mermaid's being cool. Look at that.

0:48:17 > 0:48:19BOTH GIGGLING The what?

0:48:19 > 0:48:22The nothing. Ha ha ha!

0:48:22 > 0:48:23You know, when we were younger

0:48:23 > 0:48:26and your mom and I were out on the roof,

0:48:26 > 0:48:28my dad would always tell us to look at the stars

0:48:28 > 0:48:31and see if you could make something out of them.

0:48:31 > 0:48:32All right, like, er...

0:48:32 > 0:48:35right over there. Right over there. Look, look.

0:48:35 > 0:48:37To me, that looks like a camel.

0:48:37 > 0:48:39You see the humps? Huh? The tongue hanging out?

0:48:39 > 0:48:40Oh, yeah. I see that.

0:48:40 > 0:48:42Hey, look over there! It's a pyramid.

0:48:42 > 0:48:44Yeah! Hey, good one, Patrick.

0:48:44 > 0:48:47Hey, look, right next to the moon, right, right beside it.

0:48:47 > 0:48:49It looks exactly like Bugsy.

0:48:49 > 0:48:52SKEETER: Oh, my God! ALL LAUGHING

0:48:52 > 0:48:55Don't worry, Bugsy. Your eyes are still bigger.

0:48:55 > 0:48:57CHITTERS

0:48:57 > 0:48:58JILL AND PATRICK LAUGH

0:48:58 > 0:49:00Uncle Skeeter?

0:49:00 > 0:49:02Yes, good-looking.

0:49:02 > 0:49:05Do you think my father will come back?

0:49:08 > 0:49:12Um, well, that's a tough one.

0:49:14 > 0:49:17He must be going through some...

0:49:17 > 0:49:19mental malfunction

0:49:19 > 0:49:21to not want to be with you two guys

0:49:21 > 0:49:23every second of the day.

0:49:23 > 0:49:25But, er...

0:49:25 > 0:49:28I do know this.

0:49:28 > 0:49:30You're always going to have your mother.

0:49:30 > 0:49:33You're always going to have this girl to hang out with.

0:49:33 > 0:49:37And me, I ain't ever going anywhere.

0:49:39 > 0:49:43OK? I'm like the stink on your feet. I'll always be around.

0:49:48 > 0:49:52OK. You guys made me late. I hope you're happy.

0:49:52 > 0:49:53Well, thank you. CHUCKLING

0:49:53 > 0:49:56Have fun at night school.

0:49:56 > 0:49:57See you tomorrow.

0:49:57 > 0:50:00All right, we got rid of her, so let's get to business.

0:50:00 > 0:50:02Put the s'mores down. Story time.

0:50:02 > 0:50:03All right, guys.

0:50:03 > 0:50:06Tonight's story is going to be extra special.

0:50:06 > 0:50:08It's called...

0:50:08 > 0:50:13The Great Hotel Idea Story.

0:50:13 > 0:50:14Yeah!

0:50:14 > 0:50:16What? Boring.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18Come on, guys, I really need you to do this.

0:50:18 > 0:50:21It's going to help my life a lot. Please?

0:50:21 > 0:50:23All right. You know what? We still got one more night.

0:50:23 > 0:50:24Let's have a fun story tonight.

0:50:24 > 0:50:27How about some Evel Knievel stuff?

0:50:27 > 0:50:30Racing, jumping, flying...

0:50:30 > 0:50:32or maybe something like romantic?

0:50:32 > 0:50:34(Imitates kissing and whistling)

0:50:34 > 0:50:36I have a good idea.

0:50:36 > 0:50:39Let's combine the action and the romance

0:50:39 > 0:50:42and make a romaction story.

0:50:42 > 0:50:44BOTH: Yeah. Let us begin.

0:50:44 > 0:50:47The greatest of all the heroes in ancient Greece

0:50:47 > 0:50:50was, of course, Skeetacus.

0:50:50 > 0:50:52He was truly amazing

0:50:52 > 0:50:54yet totally underrated

0:50:54 > 0:50:57and had been ignored for years.

0:50:57 > 0:51:00Finally, Skeetacus had his chance

0:51:00 > 0:51:02to show his skills in the grand arena.

0:51:02 > 0:51:04Hyah! Hyah!

0:51:04 > 0:51:07SKEETER, NARRATING: If he could impress the daughter of the emperor,

0:51:07 > 0:51:10he knew he would one day rule the land.

0:51:10 > 0:51:13HORSES NEIGH CROWD CHEERING

0:51:13 > 0:51:15Skeetacus, Skeetacus! Go on, Skeetacus!

0:51:15 > 0:51:18That's pretty fancy chariot work.

0:51:18 > 0:51:20For a peasant.

0:51:20 > 0:51:25I see London, I see France I see my golden underpants.

0:51:25 > 0:51:28Whoo!

0:51:32 > 0:51:33CROWD: Oh!

0:51:35 > 0:51:38Oh, what is he doing?

0:51:39 > 0:51:40KIDS: Whoa!

0:51:41 > 0:51:43HORSES NEIGHING

0:51:44 > 0:51:47SKEETACUS: Bring on the elephants!

0:51:47 > 0:51:49TRUMPETING

0:51:49 > 0:51:50Whoa. Ooh.

0:51:52 > 0:51:53Uh...

0:51:53 > 0:51:55SKEETER, NARRATING: You know how Hercules

0:51:55 > 0:51:57supposedly founded the Olympics?

0:51:57 > 0:52:00TRUMPETING

0:52:00 > 0:52:01CHITTERS

0:52:01 > 0:52:05Well, Skeetacus invented the X Games.

0:52:05 > 0:52:07He's never going to make it!

0:52:13 > 0:52:15SHOUTING CROWD GASPING

0:52:19 > 0:52:21CROWD CHEERING Now, that's first class.

0:52:22 > 0:52:24Hey!

0:52:24 > 0:52:25Bravo! Wow.

0:52:27 > 0:52:30Can you dig it?

0:52:30 > 0:52:32CROWD: Skeetacus!

0:52:32 > 0:52:34How we doing so far, huh?

0:52:34 > 0:52:36This is the best story yet.

0:52:36 > 0:52:38Can we get to the romance now?

0:52:38 > 0:52:40Well, Shorty, you tell me.

0:52:40 > 0:52:42Does skeetacus get the girl he was after?

0:52:42 > 0:52:43BOBBI: In these stories,

0:52:43 > 0:52:46the hero always gets the fairest maiden in the land.

0:52:46 > 0:52:47Yes! Yes! You said it.

0:52:47 > 0:52:49OK, so it's going to happen!

0:52:49 > 0:52:51Uh, right. So, what? They're thirsty?

0:52:51 > 0:52:52They go off for drinks or something?

0:52:52 > 0:52:54A little wine and cheese action? Yes?

0:52:54 > 0:52:57BOBBI: Yeah, they can go to an old tavern.

0:52:57 > 0:52:59And guess who's there?

0:52:59 > 0:53:00Led Zeppelin.

0:53:00 > 0:53:01Say Led Zeppelin, please.

0:53:01 > 0:53:03No. All the girls

0:53:03 > 0:53:05that were mean to Skeetacus growing up.

0:53:05 > 0:53:06What are you talking about?

0:53:06 > 0:53:07Nobody was ever mean to Skeetacus growing up.

0:53:07 > 0:53:09He was like the coolest guy in school.

0:53:09 > 0:53:11That's not what Mom said.

0:53:11 > 0:53:13All right, everybody was mean to Skeetacus.

0:53:13 > 0:53:14He had problems.

0:53:14 > 0:53:15All right, tell your story.

0:53:15 > 0:53:17Oh, my God.

0:53:17 > 0:53:19BOBBI: They see he's now with the fairest maiden

0:53:19 > 0:53:20in all the land,

0:53:20 > 0:53:22and they are really jealous.

0:53:22 > 0:53:25PATRICK: So jealous that they don't even know what to do.

0:53:25 > 0:53:28They just start nervously doing "the hokey pokey."

0:53:28 > 0:53:30# Put your right hand in

0:53:30 > 0:53:32# You put your right hand out

0:53:32 > 0:53:35# You put your right hand in and you shake it all about. #

0:53:37 > 0:53:38OK.

0:53:39 > 0:53:43'So then, Skeetacus takes his date out to the beach.

0:53:43 > 0:53:47'All of a sudden, a big hairy guy washes up onshore,

0:53:47 > 0:53:49'passed out.

0:53:49 > 0:53:50SKEETER: Why a hairy guy? I don't get it.

0:53:50 > 0:53:51'Just cos.

0:53:51 > 0:53:54'He had something stuck in his throat,

0:53:54 > 0:53:56'and he wasn't breathing.'

0:53:56 > 0:53:59GRUNTS COUGHS

0:53:59 > 0:54:00Thanks.

0:54:00 > 0:54:02He's OK.

0:54:02 > 0:54:04And then it starts pouring,

0:54:04 > 0:54:05so they run into a magical cave.

0:54:05 > 0:54:07Caves are nice.

0:54:07 > 0:54:08And Abe Lincoln's there.

0:54:08 > 0:54:09Abe Lincoln?

0:54:09 > 0:54:11What, is this a joke to you?

0:54:11 > 0:54:12What the heck's the matter with you?

0:54:12 > 0:54:13Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

0:54:13 > 0:54:14I didn't mean to yell.

0:54:14 > 0:54:16I just-the Abe Lincoln thing,

0:54:16 > 0:54:17that's-that's- that's a good idea.

0:54:17 > 0:54:18It's just that, er...

0:54:18 > 0:54:21does Skeetacus get a kiss?

0:54:21 > 0:54:22Don't you think he should?

0:54:22 > 0:54:24It's been a long time for him.

0:54:24 > 0:54:29His lips are very dry from not using them.

0:54:29 > 0:54:31Bugsy, you with me?

0:54:31 > 0:54:32GROANS

0:54:32 > 0:54:35We'll see.

0:54:35 > 0:54:36VIOLET: Hello?

0:54:36 > 0:54:40Mmm. Hey, is this the fairest maiden in the land?

0:54:40 > 0:54:42Mr Skeeter Bronson, is that you?

0:54:42 > 0:54:43'Yes, it is.

0:54:43 > 0:54:46'Sorry about that Ferrari confusion the other night.'

0:54:46 > 0:54:47But I'm here at the beach right now,

0:54:47 > 0:54:49and I had a hunch you might be here, too.

0:54:49 > 0:54:51What do you say we get a little lunchsky?

0:54:51 > 0:54:52'That sounds so delightful.'

0:54:52 > 0:54:53But I can't.

0:54:53 > 0:54:55I'm afraid I'm on my way to Vegas for the day.

0:54:55 > 0:55:00Vegas? Er, no-one talked about Vegas.

0:55:00 > 0:55:02Don't tell Kendall, he thinks I'm in the library.

0:55:02 > 0:55:03But, er, princess,

0:55:03 > 0:55:07I really thought we were going to hang out today.

0:55:07 > 0:55:09Oh, well. I will see you at Daddy's birthday party.

0:55:09 > 0:55:11'Bye, Skeeter.'

0:55:11 > 0:55:13Hmm.

0:55:13 > 0:55:15So our date's going to be tomorrow?

0:55:15 > 0:55:16All right, I can live with that.

0:55:16 > 0:55:18JILL: Hey! Look out! Look out!

0:55:18 > 0:55:19Aah! Aah!

0:55:19 > 0:55:20GROANS

0:55:20 > 0:55:21Are you OK? Oh, my...

0:55:21 > 0:55:23Hey! I'm so sorry!

0:55:23 > 0:55:25What is it about the cushion of protection

0:55:25 > 0:55:27you don't like?

0:55:27 > 0:55:29Aren't you supposed to be in school?

0:55:29 > 0:55:31I'm supposed to be looking for a job right now,

0:55:31 > 0:55:34but for some reason I felt like coming to the beach today.

0:55:34 > 0:55:35Huh.

0:55:35 > 0:55:37Hey, um, are you hungry?

0:55:37 > 0:55:40Yes, I'm always hungry when I'm in pain.

0:55:40 > 0:55:42LAUGHS Good. Because I'm buying.

0:55:42 > 0:55:43Yes, I'll let you buy me lunch,

0:55:43 > 0:55:44cos somebody stole my wallet,

0:55:44 > 0:55:46so how was I going to pay anyways?

0:55:46 > 0:55:48Of course you got your wallet stolen.

0:55:48 > 0:55:49I don't know what that means.

0:55:49 > 0:55:51You. It's always something with you.

0:55:51 > 0:55:52Huh? What?

0:55:52 > 0:55:53Hey, you're wearing my hat.

0:55:53 > 0:55:54You going to wear that all day?

0:55:54 > 0:55:55I ain't wearing nobody's hat.

0:55:55 > 0:55:56I'm wearing your hat! Oh!

0:55:56 > 0:55:58I'll take it back. Thanks.

0:55:58 > 0:56:00INDISTINCT CHATTERING

0:56:04 > 0:56:06This is perfect for your free lunch.

0:56:06 > 0:56:07I mean.

0:56:07 > 0:56:08Oh, my gosh, you guys.

0:56:08 > 0:56:09You guys, you guys. Over there.

0:56:09 > 0:56:11Is that... is that Skeeter Bronson?

0:56:11 > 0:56:12- Stop it. - Oh, my God.

0:56:12 > 0:56:13ALL TALKING AT ONCE

0:56:13 > 0:56:14Skeeter.

0:56:14 > 0:56:17Hey! Do you remember me?

0:56:17 > 0:56:19It's Donna Hynde from high school.

0:56:19 > 0:56:21Yeah, I do.

0:56:21 > 0:56:24Thought I was going to run into you shortly,

0:56:24 > 0:56:25and here you are.

0:56:25 > 0:56:27Yeah. Wow, this is so weird.

0:56:27 > 0:56:30Uh, because we were just planning our high school reunion.

0:56:30 > 0:56:32We were totally just talking about you.

0:56:32 > 0:56:34Uh-huh, we were.

0:56:34 > 0:56:36I was just talking about you guys, too.

0:56:36 > 0:56:37Sure he was.

0:56:37 > 0:56:39Mind pretending to be my girlfriend for a second?

0:56:39 > 0:56:42Yeah, I don't feel comfortable doing that.

0:56:42 > 0:56:44I'll, er, convert my truck to biodiesel.

0:56:45 > 0:56:47OK, I'll do it. Ding-dong.

0:56:47 > 0:56:49Uh, this is my girlfriend, guys.

0:56:49 > 0:56:50This is Jill.

0:56:50 > 0:56:52Hello.

0:56:52 > 0:56:54She's your girlfriend?

0:56:54 > 0:56:55Yeah. Yeah.

0:56:55 > 0:56:56Yes, I am.

0:56:56 > 0:56:58Right? Yup.

0:56:58 > 0:57:00She thinks I'm...

0:57:00 > 0:57:03You want me to...? Oh. Uh, romantic.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05She likes how romantic I can be.

0:57:05 > 0:57:08And great kisser, she likes to say.

0:57:08 > 0:57:11Oh, yeah. That's... a little too much.

0:57:11 > 0:57:13Oh. Sorry.

0:57:13 > 0:57:15Wow, you are really pretty.

0:57:15 > 0:57:16I mean, she's all right.

0:57:16 > 0:57:17I've seen hotter,

0:57:17 > 0:57:20but she's pretty cool.

0:57:20 > 0:57:21And so super skinny.

0:57:21 > 0:57:23Skinnier than you.

0:57:23 > 0:57:24But...

0:57:24 > 0:57:26LAUGHS

0:57:26 > 0:57:27Whatever.

0:57:27 > 0:57:29I feel really awful saying this out loud.

0:57:29 > 0:57:32I'm just... We were really terrible to Skeeter in high school.

0:57:32 > 0:57:34Awful. So mean.

0:57:34 > 0:57:35My Skeeter?

0:57:35 > 0:57:37Yeah, they were.

0:57:37 > 0:57:38You had a hard time in high school?

0:57:38 > 0:57:39Look at you now.

0:57:39 > 0:57:41You turned out pretty cute. Yeah.

0:57:41 > 0:57:43You know...

0:57:43 > 0:57:44the pimples went away,

0:57:44 > 0:57:46and, er, these came to play.

0:57:46 > 0:57:48LAUGHTER

0:57:48 > 0:57:49You want to touch them?

0:57:49 > 0:57:51Oh, that's OK. Later. Later.

0:57:51 > 0:57:52Yeah. That's fine.

0:57:52 > 0:57:55They're here for you. Ding-dong.

0:57:55 > 0:57:56# You put your right hand in

0:57:56 > 0:57:59# You put your right hand out

0:57:59 > 0:58:01# You put your right hand in and you shake it all about... #

0:58:01 > 0:58:02OK.

0:58:02 > 0:58:03Uh, I think we should leave.

0:58:03 > 0:58:04Yes.

0:58:04 > 0:58:06# And you turn yourself around... #

0:58:06 > 0:58:07All right. Bye bye.

0:58:07 > 0:58:08# That's what it's all about... #

0:58:08 > 0:58:10What's happening?

0:58:10 > 0:58:12Hey, so I spoke to Wendy.

0:58:12 > 0:58:14She's very excited to see the kids tomorrow.

0:58:14 > 0:58:16This is the longest she's been away from them.

0:58:16 > 0:58:17That's right.

0:58:17 > 0:58:20This is my last night with the kids.

0:58:20 > 0:58:22You know, they're going to be devastated.

0:58:22 > 0:58:25They worship you and those amazing bedtime stories

0:58:25 > 0:58:26you've been telling them.

0:58:26 > 0:58:29Oh, well, they say all the good parts, I promise.

0:58:29 > 0:58:32Oh, my gosh. Is he unconscious?

0:58:32 > 0:58:33Yeah, yeah.

0:58:33 > 0:58:35GRUNTS

0:58:35 > 0:58:37Oh!

0:58:37 > 0:58:39SPLASH

0:58:39 > 0:58:41Thanks.

0:58:41 > 0:58:43Whoa! Yeah?

0:58:43 > 0:58:44Check out Mr Smooth.

0:58:44 > 0:58:46Well, you know, I do what I do.

0:58:46 > 0:58:47BOTH LAUGHING

0:58:47 > 0:58:49Don't think we should get out of this rain?

0:58:49 > 0:58:50What rain?

0:58:50 > 0:58:52THUNDER

0:58:52 > 0:58:53Oh, shoot!

0:58:53 > 0:58:54Where did that come from?

0:58:54 > 0:58:56I don't know! Isn't it amazing?

0:58:56 > 0:58:58Let's get out of this! Let's go! Let's get out!

0:58:58 > 0:59:01Move it! SQUEALING

0:59:01 > 0:59:03I can read the future. GIGGLING?

0:59:03 > 0:59:05Hee hee! Hee hee!

0:59:05 > 0:59:07Good God.

0:59:07 > 0:59:08So...

0:59:08 > 0:59:10So...

0:59:10 > 0:59:12the big presentation's tomorrow, right?

0:59:12 > 0:59:15I mean, I know you're not nervous or anything, but, um,

0:59:15 > 0:59:16good luck on it anyway.

0:59:16 > 0:59:17Thank you. Yep.

0:59:17 > 0:59:20Actually, you can come if you want.

0:59:20 > 0:59:22It's like a party.

0:59:22 > 0:59:25You know, Wendy's going to be watching the kids,

0:59:25 > 0:59:26and we could have fun.

0:59:26 > 0:59:27You could meet me there.

0:59:27 > 0:59:31Yeah. That would, uh- I could do that.

0:59:31 > 0:59:34I could meet you, um...

0:59:34 > 0:59:37after night school or something.

0:59:39 > 0:59:41It's you?

0:59:41 > 0:59:43It's me what?

0:59:44 > 0:59:47You're the fairest maiden in the land?

0:59:49 > 0:59:53Fair as in doesn't cheat at checkers?

0:59:53 > 0:59:57No, fairest as in...

0:59:57 > 1:00:00beautifulest.

1:00:09 > 1:00:11Wait, wait, wait.

1:00:11 > 1:00:12Something weird's going to happen.

1:00:13 > 1:00:15Oh.

1:00:15 > 1:00:18No, yeah, we don't... This is a mistake.

1:00:18 > 1:00:19No, no, no, not between us.

1:00:19 > 1:00:21I mean, like, some...

1:00:21 > 1:00:24No! No, no!

1:00:24 > 1:00:25Oh, here comes Abe!

1:00:25 > 1:00:27No!

1:00:35 > 1:00:37Ah! Look.

1:00:38 > 1:00:40Wow, a penny.

1:00:40 > 1:00:42No, no, no. This is the weird thing I was talking about.

1:00:42 > 1:00:44Abe Lincoln.

1:00:44 > 1:00:45Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:45 > 1:00:46No, no, no, no.

1:00:46 > 1:00:48Abe's not going to interrupt this time.

1:00:48 > 1:00:49That was it.

1:00:49 > 1:00:51It's supposed to end better than this.

1:00:51 > 1:00:52Stick around.

1:00:52 > 1:00:54I'm tellin' you, you're going to be missing out.

1:00:55 > 1:00:58Nice imagination, Patrick.

1:01:05 > 1:01:08Skeeter? Yo.

1:01:08 > 1:01:10We've got a little bit of a shaving situation in there.

1:01:10 > 1:01:12Oh, no, no, no. I took the razor blades out.

1:01:12 > 1:01:12Don't worry.

1:01:12 > 1:01:14Their father ain't around,

1:01:14 > 1:01:16so I figured someone has to teach them how to shave, right?

1:01:16 > 1:01:17KIDS GIGGLING

1:01:17 > 1:01:20I'm Princess Leia.

1:01:20 > 1:01:21Uh-huh.

1:01:21 > 1:01:25So, are you ready for the big showdown tomorrow night?

1:01:25 > 1:01:27Oh, yeah.

1:01:27 > 1:01:28What I'm going to do is

1:01:28 > 1:01:30tell them a bedtime story tonight.

1:01:30 > 1:01:32I'll have me win in the story,

1:01:32 > 1:01:35then I'll win for reals.

1:01:35 > 1:01:36Do you dig?

1:01:36 > 1:01:38Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand.

1:01:38 > 1:01:40So it's like, um, positive visualisation.

1:01:40 > 1:01:43I read a book on that once.

1:01:43 > 1:01:45Read the back cover, at least.

1:01:47 > 1:01:49I can't read.

1:01:49 > 1:01:50LAUGHING

1:01:50 > 1:01:52Shut up, Bugsy!

1:01:52 > 1:01:54Yeah, I've got opposable thumbs.

1:01:54 > 1:01:55How do you feel about that?

1:01:55 > 1:01:57STOPS LAUGHING

1:01:57 > 1:01:59You children ready?

1:01:59 > 1:02:01Cos here comes our last story.

1:02:03 > 1:02:07The fate of the entire universe hung in the balance

1:02:07 > 1:02:10as the supreme galactic council met to determine

1:02:10 > 1:02:13who would control the new planet

1:02:13 > 1:02:17in the vast Nottinghamian star system.

1:02:17 > 1:02:18ALL CHEERING

1:02:18 > 1:02:22Most in attendance expected Supreme Leader Barito

1:02:22 > 1:02:25to rule in favour of General Kendallo,

1:02:25 > 1:02:28the evil governor of Hotelium.

1:02:29 > 1:02:33But there was a wild card in the mix...

1:02:33 > 1:02:39Skeeto Bronsonnian and his sidekick Mickey Doo Quicky Doo.

1:02:39 > 1:02:42They all watched with excitement.

1:02:42 > 1:02:45Lieutenant Jilli and her two young cadets,

1:02:45 > 1:02:49Aspenoff, and even the great Captain Bugzoid.

1:02:49 > 1:02:50PATRICK: Hey, since it's outer space,

1:02:50 > 1:02:53Skeeto should talk like a goofy alien.

1:02:53 > 1:02:54SKEETER: What?

1:02:54 > 1:02:56(Speaking gibberish)

1:02:58 > 1:03:01That's disgusting. I'm not going to translate that.

1:03:01 > 1:03:02Silence!

1:03:02 > 1:03:04The leader of the new planet

1:03:04 > 1:03:07shall be determined the old-fashioned way-

1:03:07 > 1:03:10a zero-gravity fight.

1:03:10 > 1:03:11ALL GASPING

1:03:11 > 1:03:13(Speaking gibberish)

1:03:21 > 1:03:24'OK, now we get to the part the crowd came to see.

1:03:24 > 1:03:28'Skeeto defeating Kendallo, right?'

1:03:28 > 1:03:32PATRICK: I think we need to see them battle first.

1:03:32 > 1:03:33CACKLES

1:03:33 > 1:03:35SPEAKS GIBBERISH

1:03:35 > 1:03:37GRUNTING

1:03:37 > 1:03:38SCREAMING

1:03:38 > 1:03:40BOTH GRUNTING

1:03:44 > 1:03:46PATRICK: Kendallo makes the first move.

1:03:46 > 1:03:48CACKLES

1:03:56 > 1:03:58Skeeto! Skeeto!

1:03:58 > 1:04:01SKEETER: But the kids really want to see Skeeto kick his butt, right?

1:04:02 > 1:04:03Oh! Oh! Oh!

1:04:06 > 1:04:08LAUGHING

1:04:09 > 1:04:11Wet willy. BABBLES

1:04:11 > 1:04:13Boring!

1:04:13 > 1:04:17Bring out the Booger Monster!

1:04:20 > 1:04:22SKEETER: Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.

1:04:22 > 1:04:25SCREAMING

1:04:25 > 1:04:28Aah!

1:04:28 > 1:04:29Uhh!

1:04:29 > 1:04:32SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:04:32 > 1:04:35SKEETER: All right, have the Booger Monster smack Kendallo around.

1:04:35 > 1:04:37BOBBI: No, I think he should kiss him.

1:04:37 > 1:04:39CHUCKLES

1:04:39 > 1:04:40GROANS

1:04:40 > 1:04:42'Would you please get to Skeeto winning already?

1:04:42 > 1:04:44'OK.'

1:04:46 > 1:04:47SCREAMS

1:04:51 > 1:04:53GROANS

1:04:53 > 1:04:59Arise, Skeeto, Sherriff of Nottinghamia.

1:04:59 > 1:05:01CHEERING

1:05:01 > 1:05:02SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:05:02 > 1:05:04SCREECHING

1:05:04 > 1:05:06SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:05:08 > 1:05:09Yippee! Whoo!

1:05:09 > 1:05:11WHISTLING

1:05:11 > 1:05:16And that is the perfect ending to our last story.

1:05:16 > 1:05:17Thank you, children.

1:05:17 > 1:05:19Oh, that's not the ending.

1:05:19 > 1:05:21Yeah. That would be too obvious.

1:05:21 > 1:05:22What do you mean?

1:05:22 > 1:05:24Somebody threw a fireball at Skeeto,

1:05:24 > 1:05:27and Skeeto got incineratated.

1:05:27 > 1:05:29The end.

1:05:29 > 1:05:30Incineratated?

1:05:30 > 1:05:31CROWD GROANS

1:05:31 > 1:05:33You mean incinerated?

1:05:33 > 1:05:35No! No, no, no, no, no, no!

1:05:35 > 1:05:36He can't catch on fire.

1:05:36 > 1:05:39Yeah. "I'm Captain Skeeto. I'm on fire! Ahh!"

1:05:39 > 1:05:40No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:05:40 > 1:05:41The story can't end like that.

1:05:41 > 1:05:43What happened to a nice, happy ending?

1:05:43 > 1:05:46You said happy endings don't really happen.

1:05:46 > 1:05:48We want our story to be real.

1:05:48 > 1:05:50Oh, I was just saying that. I was stupid.

1:05:50 > 1:05:52YAWNS No, no, no, no, no.

1:05:52 > 1:05:53So, what? We're really going to have me on fire?

1:05:53 > 1:05:56Hey! Don't fall asleep or the story will lock.

1:05:56 > 1:05:57Stop it! Wake up!

1:05:57 > 1:05:59Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

1:06:01 > 1:06:02I can't believe Skeeter didn't tell you.

1:06:02 > 1:06:04And I'm sure it's just a coincidence

1:06:04 > 1:06:07that the new hotel is going up right here

1:06:07 > 1:06:09where the- where the school is.

1:06:09 > 1:06:11Well, I'm pretty sure. CELL PHONE RINGS

1:06:11 > 1:06:12Excuse me. Yeah?

1:06:12 > 1:06:14ASPEN: 'Everything's ready for the presentation tonight.'

1:06:14 > 1:06:15Oh, good.

1:06:15 > 1:06:16'Ten-4, rubber duck.'

1:06:16 > 1:06:17Got it. Great.

1:06:17 > 1:06:20THE OHIO PLAYERS: # Fire

1:06:20 > 1:06:22# Uhh

1:06:22 > 1:06:25# Fire... #

1:06:25 > 1:06:27CHANGES STATION

1:06:27 > 1:06:30BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: # Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire... #

1:06:30 > 1:06:31CHANGES STATION

1:06:31 > 1:06:33THE BANGLES: # Is this burning

1:06:33 > 1:06:35# An e... #

1:06:35 > 1:06:36CHANGES STATION

1:06:36 > 1:06:40THE TRAMPS: # Burn, baby, burn... #

1:06:40 > 1:06:42OK. The good news is

1:06:42 > 1:06:44you're going to win the competition.

1:06:44 > 1:06:47The bad news is you're probably going to catch on fire.

1:06:47 > 1:06:50But not if you take a few precautions.

1:06:50 > 1:06:53Oven mitts, smoke alarm.

1:06:56 > 1:06:57Yeah.

1:06:58 > 1:07:02"Flame-resistant Christmas tree spray." Yeah.

1:07:03 > 1:07:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:07:05 > 1:07:09Excuse me, sir. Those are actually for Christmas trees.

1:07:09 > 1:07:11I know. 'Tis the season. Ow! God!

1:07:11 > 1:07:12I'm so sorry.

1:07:12 > 1:07:14IT BURNS!

1:07:14 > 1:07:15Let me make it up to you.

1:07:15 > 1:07:17OWWW!

1:07:17 > 1:07:18IT'S FOR TREES!

1:07:18 > 1:07:21You're right - that hurts! OWW!

1:07:21 > 1:07:23I'm sorry about that!

1:07:31 > 1:07:34Antibacterial wipes, anybody?

1:07:34 > 1:07:36Aloha. Aloha.

1:07:36 > 1:07:38Thank you so much.

1:07:40 > 1:07:42Whoa!

1:07:42 > 1:07:45Steady. Steady.

1:07:45 > 1:07:47SHOUTS

1:07:50 > 1:07:53Kona coffee ice cream. Yeah? What's the catch?

1:07:53 > 1:07:54You going to light it on fire?

1:07:54 > 1:07:55Cos I'm on to you, honey.

1:07:55 > 1:07:57No fire. It would melt.

1:07:57 > 1:08:00Just take the ice cream and a chill pill.

1:08:00 > 1:08:02MOCKS LAUGHTER

1:08:09 > 1:08:11Ahh!

1:08:11 > 1:08:12BOOING

1:08:12 > 1:08:14Skeeter. Yes.

1:08:14 > 1:08:16Wasn't very nice. What wasn't?

1:08:16 > 1:08:17You pushed that man in the pool.

1:08:17 > 1:08:20No, no, no. He jumped in. You seen Jill?

1:08:20 > 1:08:22I ain't seen Jill tonight, mate.

1:08:27 > 1:08:29Whew. I am cold.

1:08:29 > 1:08:30I'll get you a towel.

1:08:30 > 1:08:31CUPS FALLING

1:08:31 > 1:08:33I've got your towel. Oh, blimey.

1:08:33 > 1:08:34I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1:08:34 > 1:08:36Heh.

1:08:37 > 1:08:38I love you.

1:08:40 > 1:08:43BEE BUZZING

1:08:43 > 1:08:45You brought me a grilled cheese sandwich once, didn't you?

1:08:45 > 1:08:46Yeah, I did, yes.

1:08:46 > 1:08:48It was Monterey Jack. It's a good cheese.

1:08:48 > 1:08:50BUZZING

1:08:51 > 1:08:53Ow!

1:08:53 > 1:08:54Skeeter, are you all right?

1:08:54 > 1:08:57A bee stung my tongue!

1:08:59 > 1:09:00The meeting for the exciting new hotel

1:09:00 > 1:09:02is going to take place in the living room.

1:09:02 > 1:09:05So I don't think you're going to want to miss this.

1:09:05 > 1:09:08Oh, no, it's swelling up.

1:09:12 > 1:09:14Can I sit there, please, mate?

1:09:14 > 1:09:15Yes, of course.

1:09:15 > 1:09:17Don't touch me. Sorry.

1:09:17 > 1:09:23Before we begin, I would just like to say personally, happy birthday.

1:09:23 > 1:09:25ALL: Happy birthday.

1:09:25 > 1:09:27Thank you, Kendall.

1:09:27 > 1:09:29Yes, now, as you can see,

1:09:29 > 1:09:32I've invited some of the staff to sit in

1:09:32 > 1:09:36to see how your ideas would play with the "regular folk." No offence.

1:09:36 > 1:09:39None taken, Barry. None taken.

1:09:39 > 1:09:43So, gentlemen, which of you would like to go first?

1:09:44 > 1:09:46Fair enough.

1:09:47 > 1:09:50Mr Nottingham, you were absolutely right

1:09:50 > 1:09:53when you said the rock and roll theme was old hat.

1:09:55 > 1:09:56Gone.

1:09:56 > 1:09:58Your insight, sir,

1:09:58 > 1:10:01has inspired me to, to dig deeper,

1:10:01 > 1:10:04to find the commonalty at the heart

1:10:04 > 1:10:06of the American experience.

1:10:06 > 1:10:08I speak, of course,

1:10:08 > 1:10:10of the musical theatre.

1:10:10 > 1:10:13And, more specifically,

1:10:13 > 1:10:15Broadway!

1:10:16 > 1:10:17WHIMPERS

1:10:17 > 1:10:19Hit it. PLAYING PIANO

1:10:19 > 1:10:23# Oh, when you first pull up

1:10:23 > 1:10:24# To the grand front door

1:10:24 > 1:10:28# There isn't just a bellhop There's an overture

1:10:28 > 1:10:33# At the Nottingham Broadway Mega Resort

1:10:33 > 1:10:36# Oh, there's a pool for the sharks

1:10:36 > 1:10:38# A pool for the jets

1:10:38 > 1:10:41# And you can bring cats cos we take pets

1:10:41 > 1:10:49# At the Nottingham Broadway Mega Resort. #

1:10:53 > 1:10:55WHIMPERS

1:10:55 > 1:10:58Original, impressive, well done.

1:10:58 > 1:10:59Thank you, Kendall.

1:10:59 > 1:11:01Thank you, sir.

1:11:01 > 1:11:03APPLAUSE

1:11:03 > 1:11:06ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

1:11:08 > 1:11:13Er, sorry about that. I was, er, just resting my eyes.

1:11:16 > 1:11:19Skeeter, you're up.

1:11:21 > 1:11:23CLEARS THROAT

1:11:24 > 1:11:26CLEARS THROAT

1:11:26 > 1:11:28SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:11:35 > 1:11:37Are you all right, Skeeter?

1:11:38 > 1:11:42Uh, a bee bit my tongue.

1:11:42 > 1:11:43I'm sorry?

1:11:43 > 1:11:46A bee... stung my tongue.

1:11:49 > 1:11:51"A bee stung my tongue."

1:11:51 > 1:11:53Oh, you understand him?

1:11:53 > 1:11:55Oh.

1:11:55 > 1:11:58How did a bee sting your tongue?

1:11:58 > 1:11:59Uh...

1:11:59 > 1:12:02I was eating ice cream, and suddenly a bee...

1:12:02 > 1:12:05er, it was on an ice cream, and he licked it.

1:12:05 > 1:12:09Hmm. Can you translate Skeeter's presentation for us?

1:12:09 > 1:12:10Mmm!

1:12:10 > 1:12:13Uh, yes. Yes, I can do that.

1:12:13 > 1:12:15APPLAUSE

1:12:15 > 1:12:16Mmm.

1:12:16 > 1:12:17Yeah, I'm ready.

1:12:17 > 1:12:19Ready? OK.

1:12:20 > 1:12:22SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:12:25 > 1:12:28I spent the last week in the hotel,

1:12:28 > 1:12:30the hotel where I live...

1:12:30 > 1:12:32SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:12:32 > 1:12:34With my niece and my nephew.

1:12:34 > 1:12:38SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:12:38 > 1:12:43To a kid, everything about a hotel is strange and wonderful.

1:12:43 > 1:12:45SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:12:45 > 1:12:47Sleeping in a different bed.

1:12:47 > 1:12:49SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:12:49 > 1:12:50Hanging out in the lobby.

1:12:50 > 1:12:52SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:12:52 > 1:12:55Jumping up and down on the alligator.

1:12:56 > 1:12:59SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:12:59 > 1:13:02Riding up and down in the elevator.

1:13:02 > 1:13:03ALL: Oh!

1:13:03 > 1:13:05Sorry. Yeah, I see now that an alligator

1:13:05 > 1:13:07wouldn't be in that context.

1:13:07 > 1:13:10SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:13:12 > 1:13:17Some hotels try to make it seem as much like home as possible.

1:13:17 > 1:13:18SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:13:18 > 1:13:20But they're missing the point.

1:13:20 > 1:13:24SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:13:24 > 1:13:27If you wanted to stay in a place like home,

1:13:27 > 1:13:28then why not stay at home?

1:13:28 > 1:13:32SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:13:32 > 1:13:36Our guests should experience an escape from the everyday.

1:13:36 > 1:13:38SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:13:40 > 1:13:45And that's what I'd like to capture in our new hotel.

1:13:45 > 1:13:47SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:13:49 > 1:13:53What every kid knows and what every adult has forgotten.

1:13:53 > 1:13:55SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:14:00 > 1:14:03Like my father said to me,

1:14:03 > 1:14:07your fun is only limited by your imagination.

1:14:09 > 1:14:11That was beautiful.

1:14:11 > 1:14:13Really? All right. Settle down.

1:14:13 > 1:14:14Just the way it built.

1:14:14 > 1:14:18And that's it? I'm sorry. I don't understand it.

1:14:20 > 1:14:23That was brilliant!

1:14:23 > 1:14:25Congratulations, my boy.

1:14:25 > 1:14:26You've just won the keys to the kingdom.

1:14:26 > 1:14:28CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

1:14:31 > 1:14:33Aah!

1:14:37 > 1:14:39LAUGHS

1:14:39 > 1:14:41Boogie, don't do that.

1:14:41 > 1:14:42Germs.

1:14:45 > 1:14:48Congratulations. Great job.

1:14:48 > 1:14:49Keep icing that tongue.

1:14:49 > 1:14:50Congratulations, Skeeter. Yeah, yeah.

1:14:50 > 1:14:51Congratulations. That was great.

1:14:51 > 1:14:54Yeah? IMITATES GIBBERISH

1:14:54 > 1:14:56That's just terrific.

1:14:56 > 1:14:58Congratulations, Skeeter.

1:14:58 > 1:15:00All right, Kendall.

1:15:00 > 1:15:01Yeah. No hard feelings, pal.

1:15:01 > 1:15:03Oh, of course not. You deserve it, pal.

1:15:03 > 1:15:05You're a better man than me. You have an iron will.

1:15:05 > 1:15:06Yeah. That's what they say.

1:15:06 > 1:15:08I would not have the guts to tear down the school

1:15:08 > 1:15:10where my niece and nephew attend.

1:15:10 > 1:15:12What?

1:15:12 > 1:15:16You do know that's the site for the new hotel?

1:15:16 > 1:15:18What are you talking about?

1:15:18 > 1:15:20Good show, old son. Oh, sir.

1:15:20 > 1:15:23You know, that bee sting language was really working for you

1:15:23 > 1:15:24on a sympathetic level.

1:15:24 > 1:15:26Good, I'm glad. Listen, I wanted to talk to you

1:15:26 > 1:15:28about the location that we're building the hotel.

1:15:28 > 1:15:29# Happy birthday to you... #

1:15:29 > 1:15:31I can't be...

1:15:31 > 1:15:33# Happy birthday to you... #

1:15:33 > 1:15:35DRUMS BEATING

1:15:35 > 1:15:37SLOW MOTION SINGING

1:15:47 > 1:15:48ALL GASPING

1:15:57 > 1:16:00Bronson, you're fired!

1:16:01 > 1:16:03Fired?

1:16:03 > 1:16:09Oh, that's how it connects.

1:16:09 > 1:16:10TYRES SQUEAL

1:16:13 > 1:16:14BELL RINGS

1:16:18 > 1:16:19Yes?

1:16:19 > 1:16:21Do you know where Jill hastings' class is?

1:16:21 > 1:16:22It's right over there.

1:16:24 > 1:16:26Why won't you answer my calls?

1:16:26 > 1:16:29Because I know it's you calling.

1:16:29 > 1:16:31You got to believe me, Jill. I had no idea-

1:16:31 > 1:16:34Don't destroy the sliver of respect I still have for you

1:16:34 > 1:16:36by making lame excuses.

1:16:36 > 1:16:41Just go away and stay away.

1:16:42 > 1:16:44Uncle Skeeter?

1:16:44 > 1:16:46Do you want to incineratate our school

1:16:46 > 1:16:48cos we incineratated you in the story?

1:16:48 > 1:16:51No, I wouldn't do that.

1:16:51 > 1:16:55We thought you were supposed to be the good guy.

1:17:06 > 1:17:08So did I.

1:17:26 > 1:17:29"Skeeto defeats Kendallo."

1:17:30 > 1:17:31Not really.

1:17:31 > 1:17:33KNOCK ON DOOR

1:17:33 > 1:17:34Yeah?

1:17:35 > 1:17:36Hey.

1:17:36 > 1:17:39Oh, hey. Welcome back.

1:17:41 > 1:17:42So, you mad at me, too?

1:17:42 > 1:17:46Not as mad as Jill, but, er, mad, yes.

1:17:46 > 1:17:49I didn't know the new hotel was going up there.

1:17:49 > 1:17:51I figured that.

1:17:51 > 1:17:52Then what are you mad at?

1:17:52 > 1:17:53That I gave the kids junk food?

1:17:53 > 1:17:55No, I figured you'd do that, too.

1:17:55 > 1:17:59I'm mad because you told my kids

1:17:59 > 1:18:01that in real life there are no happy endings.

1:18:01 > 1:18:03Well, look around you, Wendy.

1:18:03 > 1:18:05Do you see any happy endings here?

1:18:07 > 1:18:08I don't know.

1:18:08 > 1:18:12You and Dad always had so much fun in this room.

1:18:12 > 1:18:14For whatever reason, I didn't.

1:18:14 > 1:18:17I was always the cynic, the sourpuss.

1:18:17 > 1:18:20The black cloud. The energy drainer.

1:18:20 > 1:18:22The dead fish.

1:18:22 > 1:18:24Yes, all of those things.

1:18:24 > 1:18:26But when I left Bobbi and Patrick with you,

1:18:26 > 1:18:29I guess I just was hoping you'd rub off on them.

1:18:29 > 1:18:31You know, get them to be lighter,

1:18:31 > 1:18:34have fun, enjoy themselves.

1:18:34 > 1:18:37I thought Dad would like that.

1:18:37 > 1:18:40Anyway, um, I got a job in Arizona.

1:18:40 > 1:18:43Teaching, not principaling.

1:18:43 > 1:18:44That's cool.

1:18:44 > 1:18:47Yeah, well, maybe you can come visit when we get settled.

1:18:47 > 1:18:51I know by then the kids will really want to see you.

1:18:56 > 1:18:57Love you.

1:18:57 > 1:18:59Love you.

1:19:02 > 1:19:03DOOR CLOSES

1:19:03 > 1:19:06MARTY, NARRATING: And so, Skeeter sat on his bed,

1:19:06 > 1:19:08filled with regret,

1:19:08 > 1:19:10wondering how to put the pieces of his life together

1:19:10 > 1:19:12after one magical week.

1:19:12 > 1:19:14Great ending, huh?

1:19:14 > 1:19:16'That was your ending, Son?

1:19:16 > 1:19:18'I thought this was just a sad part,

1:19:18 > 1:19:19'and you were about to make it better.'

1:19:19 > 1:19:21What do you mean? How could I make it any better?

1:19:21 > 1:19:24'Well, in the stories I told you,

1:19:24 > 1:19:26'just when things looked bleakest,

1:19:26 > 1:19:29'the hero would do something unexpected and courageous

1:19:29 > 1:19:32'to beat the bad guy, save the day, and get the girl.'

1:19:32 > 1:19:33Yeah.

1:19:33 > 1:19:35How can I do that?

1:19:35 > 1:19:36'It's your story, not mine.

1:19:36 > 1:19:39'But you better get moving. Go get 'em, Son.'

1:19:48 > 1:19:50Mr Nottingham!

1:19:50 > 1:19:51Mr Nottingham?

1:19:51 > 1:19:53I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment.

1:19:53 > 1:19:55My name is Jill hastings.

1:19:55 > 1:19:57I'm a teacher at Webster elementary.

1:19:57 > 1:19:58ALL: Save our school!

1:19:58 > 1:20:02Save our school! Save our school!

1:20:02 > 1:20:04Save our school!

1:20:04 > 1:20:05Save our school!

1:20:05 > 1:20:07Save our school!

1:20:07 > 1:20:08CROWD CONTINUES CHANTING

1:20:08 > 1:20:09My men are in position.

1:20:09 > 1:20:10We are ready for the demolition.

1:20:10 > 1:20:11Excellent.

1:20:11 > 1:20:13Mr Nottingham said he would call

1:20:13 > 1:20:14if he had a problem getting the variance,

1:20:14 > 1:20:17so if we don't hear from him in the next 20 minutes,

1:20:17 > 1:20:19I say we just blow it all up.

1:20:19 > 1:20:21ALL: Save our school! Save our school!

1:20:21 > 1:20:24Save our school! Save our school!

1:20:24 > 1:20:26Madam, the war is over.

1:20:26 > 1:20:29You lost. I'm sorry.

1:20:31 > 1:20:33This isn't a war, Mr Nottingham.

1:20:33 > 1:20:35We're talking about children.

1:20:35 > 1:20:37There must be many other possible sites for your hotel complex

1:20:37 > 1:20:39that would not result in the displacement-

1:20:39 > 1:20:42Hey, hey! Barry, Jill. How you doing?

1:20:42 > 1:20:43We're just wrapping up here.

1:20:43 > 1:20:45Actually, Donna, you remember Jill, right?

1:20:45 > 1:20:46Of course.

1:20:46 > 1:20:49Oh, my God, that jacket is so cute.

1:20:49 > 1:20:51Uh, thank you.

1:20:51 > 1:20:53Bronson, what are you doing here?

1:20:53 > 1:20:54What am I doing here?

1:20:54 > 1:20:56What am I doing here?

1:20:56 > 1:20:59Oh, er, well, Mr Bronson, as a concerned citizen,

1:20:59 > 1:21:01wanted to bring some points to my attention

1:21:01 > 1:21:04before I made any hasty decisions about the property.

1:21:04 > 1:21:07And they are points that are going to take me years to analyse.

1:21:07 > 1:21:08Years?

1:21:08 > 1:21:10Years.

1:21:10 > 1:21:12Bronson, are you playing hardball with me?

1:21:12 > 1:21:14I am, sir.

1:21:14 > 1:21:15Because your application

1:21:15 > 1:21:18for variance has been...

1:21:18 > 1:21:20Denied.

1:21:21 > 1:21:23Denied?

1:21:23 > 1:21:25Yes. But the good news is

1:21:25 > 1:21:27Donna and I found you another piece of property

1:21:27 > 1:21:29right on the beach in Santa Monica

1:21:29 > 1:21:31that is uptight and out of sight.

1:21:31 > 1:21:32The beachfront was my first choice,

1:21:32 > 1:21:33but it's not for sale.

1:21:33 > 1:21:35It is now.

1:21:35 > 1:21:37It is! Isn't that fabulous?

1:21:37 > 1:21:38Really?

1:21:38 > 1:21:39Friends?

1:21:39 > 1:21:42Oh, oh. (STAMMERS) Yeah, well, germs.

1:21:42 > 1:21:44Let's get past that. Come here.

1:21:44 > 1:21:46Come here.

1:21:46 > 1:21:49No, no, no, no, no. WHIMPERING

1:21:49 > 1:21:51I'm touching you, and it's OK.

1:21:51 > 1:21:52Look at that.

1:21:52 > 1:21:53Aw.

1:21:53 > 1:21:55Ooh, you're enjoying it.

1:21:55 > 1:21:57Good, good. Bring me closer.

1:21:57 > 1:22:01That is so sweet. And creepy.

1:22:03 > 1:22:05Attention, please, ladies and gentlemen.

1:22:05 > 1:22:10We are working with some highly sensitve, very dangerous radio-controlled explosives today.

1:22:10 > 1:22:12BOOING

1:22:12 > 1:22:18And so, to avoid any tragic misfires, I would ask that you all turn off your cell phones.

1:22:18 > 1:22:21All of you, please. Turn your cell phones off.

1:22:21 > 1:22:25Did you really just fix everything?

1:22:25 > 1:22:28Not everything.

1:22:29 > 1:22:30CLEARS THROAT

1:22:30 > 1:22:31Yes?

1:22:31 > 1:22:32We appear to have a little bit of a situation.

1:22:32 > 1:22:34I can't reach Kendall on his cell phone

1:22:34 > 1:22:38to halt the demolition, which will begin in 13 minutes.

1:22:38 > 1:22:40PATRICK: This sign we made is awesome!

1:22:40 > 1:22:41BOBBI: We need to find a window

1:22:41 > 1:22:43where those construction guys can see it,

1:22:43 > 1:22:45then they'll change their minds.

1:22:46 > 1:22:48Bobbi, I found one.

1:22:52 > 1:22:54JILL: That's my Prius!

1:22:54 > 1:22:55OK. Where's your truck? My truck?

1:22:55 > 1:22:57My truck. I had to give it back to the hotel.

1:22:57 > 1:22:59What do you mean you gave it back to the hotel?

1:22:59 > 1:23:00Just...

1:23:00 > 1:23:01come here! Come here!

1:23:01 > 1:23:03ENGINE REVS

1:23:03 > 1:23:05Sorry!

1:23:05 > 1:23:07It's for a good cause! HORN HONKS

1:23:07 > 1:23:09Aah! Aah!

1:23:09 > 1:23:12Have you ever driven a motorcycle?

1:23:12 > 1:23:15No! Aah!

1:23:16 > 1:23:18HORSE NEIGHS

1:23:28 > 1:23:29Oh, no. Oh!

1:23:30 > 1:23:32Whoa. Aah!

1:23:34 > 1:23:35Oh!

1:23:35 > 1:23:38Aah!

1:23:38 > 1:23:40Aah!

1:23:41 > 1:23:43Aah!

1:23:43 > 1:23:44Oh, my God!

1:23:44 > 1:23:46HORN HONKS

1:23:46 > 1:23:48TYRES SQUEAL

1:23:48 > 1:23:49SIREN

1:23:49 > 1:23:51Aah!

1:23:53 > 1:23:55Whoa! Oh!

1:23:55 > 1:23:56SPEAKING GIBBERISH

1:23:58 > 1:24:00Aah!

1:24:00 > 1:24:01Aah!

1:24:01 > 1:24:02Aah!

1:24:07 > 1:24:10Have you seen Bobbi? Patrick?

1:24:10 > 1:24:12Bobbi! Patrick!

1:24:12 > 1:24:14TRAIN SIGNAL DINGING

1:24:15 > 1:24:18Whoa!

1:24:19 > 1:24:21HORNS HONKING Whoa! Whoo!

1:24:27 > 1:24:31BOTH SCREAMING

1:24:34 > 1:24:36I'll take that back.

1:24:37 > 1:24:39No fair!

1:24:39 > 1:24:41Hey, people, that's 60 seconds!

1:24:41 > 1:24:42Whoo-hoo!

1:24:42 > 1:24:44AUDIENCE GROANS

1:24:44 > 1:24:46Wait a minute! Wait! I can't find my children!

1:24:46 > 1:24:47They might be in there.

1:24:47 > 1:24:49Nice try. We cleared the building hours ago, OK?

1:24:49 > 1:24:51Everything is fine.

1:24:51 > 1:24:52TYRES SCREECHING

1:24:52 > 1:24:53Whoa! Aah!

1:24:53 > 1:24:55No! Let me through!

1:24:55 > 1:24:57Hey, we got to check the rooms before we start making booms.

1:24:57 > 1:24:59We've checked it already!

1:24:59 > 1:25:01Do it myself.

1:25:02 > 1:25:04JILL SCREAMS Uncle Skeeter!

1:25:04 > 1:25:06Hey! Get out of there!

1:25:07 > 1:25:08Five... No!

1:25:08 > 1:25:10Grab the bar! Four...

1:25:10 > 1:25:11Aah!

1:25:11 > 1:25:12Three...

1:25:13 > 1:25:15Two...

1:25:15 > 1:25:17One! Oof!

1:25:19 > 1:25:21Uhh!

1:25:22 > 1:25:26The king has issued a proclamation.

1:25:26 > 1:25:28The hotel moves away.

1:25:28 > 1:25:30The school will stay.

1:25:30 > 1:25:33Long live Webster Elementary!

1:25:33 > 1:25:35CHEERING

1:25:38 > 1:25:39Mom! Mom!

1:25:39 > 1:25:42Bobbi! Patrick!

1:25:42 > 1:25:43Oh!

1:25:45 > 1:25:47Hey, hey, hey.

1:25:47 > 1:25:49You guys underdemeciated me.

1:25:49 > 1:25:52Come here! I just got to know you guys.

1:25:52 > 1:25:54You think I'm going to let you slip away from me now?

1:25:54 > 1:25:57I knew you were the good guy.

1:25:57 > 1:25:58Yeah.

1:25:58 > 1:26:02Uh, Patrick, hi. I'm Trisha Sparks.

1:26:02 > 1:26:04I just wanted you to know that.

1:26:04 > 1:26:05Thanks for saving the school.

1:26:07 > 1:26:09Western. Go western.

1:26:09 > 1:26:12No thanks necessary, ma'am.

1:26:12 > 1:26:13That's my boy. That's my boy.

1:26:13 > 1:26:17Well, there must be some way for me to show my appreciation.

1:26:17 > 1:26:19Oh-ho-ho! IMITATES KISSING

1:26:19 > 1:26:21Get it.

1:26:23 > 1:26:24SQUEALING

1:26:24 > 1:26:28Ooh! Hoo-hoo-hoo!

1:26:28 > 1:26:30Hey, isn't she a little old for you?

1:26:30 > 1:26:31She's hot.

1:26:31 > 1:26:32So is she. What do you think?

1:26:32 > 1:26:34If Master Stinky's getting a kiss,

1:26:34 > 1:26:35shouldn't-shouldn't I get a little mermaid action?

1:26:37 > 1:26:38Come on, already.

1:26:38 > 1:26:41Ooh.

1:26:41 > 1:26:44CROWD CHEERING

1:26:53 > 1:26:55MARTY, NARRATING: 'Now, look what my boy has done -

1:26:55 > 1:26:59'turned his back on the world of luxury hotel management

1:26:59 > 1:27:01'to start a small family business.

1:27:01 > 1:27:05'And bless his heart, he even named it after me.'

1:27:05 > 1:27:07Hey, speaking of s'mores,

1:27:07 > 1:27:09it looks like Bugsy ate them all.

1:27:09 > 1:27:11CHITTERING

1:27:11 > 1:27:12We're completely out of marshmallows now.

1:27:12 > 1:27:14Oh, all right. Let me handle that.

1:27:14 > 1:27:16Room service!

1:27:17 > 1:27:18Yes, sir?

1:27:18 > 1:27:20Hi, Kendall.

1:27:20 > 1:27:21Uh, Bugsy's out of marshmallows.

1:27:21 > 1:27:22If you could just go get him some,

1:27:22 > 1:27:24that would be great.

1:27:24 > 1:27:25Right on it, sir. Anything else?

1:27:25 > 1:27:28Uh, not from you, Kendall, but, er, housekeeping?

1:27:28 > 1:27:30BELL DINGS

1:27:30 > 1:27:32Hey, Aspen.

1:27:32 > 1:27:35Could you just make sure that Bugsy's cage is clean

1:27:35 > 1:27:36before he checks out in the morning?

1:27:36 > 1:27:38His marshmallows don't really agree with him,

1:27:38 > 1:27:39so there's going to be a mess.

1:27:39 > 1:27:40FLATULENCE

1:27:40 > 1:27:41CHITTERS

1:27:41 > 1:27:42LAUGHTER

1:27:42 > 1:27:43All right.

1:27:45 > 1:27:46OK, bye, guys.

1:27:46 > 1:27:48MARTY, NARRATING: 'I think Bugsy is trying to tell us

1:27:48 > 1:27:50'that our tale has reached its end.

1:27:50 > 1:27:52'But before I go, let me tell you

1:27:52 > 1:27:54'what our heroes and villains are doing now.

1:27:54 > 1:27:56'My old friend Barry Nottingham

1:27:56 > 1:27:59'overcame his fear of germs to such a degree

1:27:59 > 1:28:01'that he decided to leave the hotel business

1:28:01 > 1:28:03'and enter the field of medicine.

1:28:03 > 1:28:07'He is currently the school nurse at Webster Elementary.

1:28:07 > 1:28:10'Violet now runs the hotel empire,

1:28:10 > 1:28:12'along with her husband Mickey,

1:28:12 > 1:28:14'the former room service waiter

1:28:14 > 1:28:18'who is now the ninth-richest person in the world.

1:28:18 > 1:28:20'And Skeeter and Jill?

1:28:20 > 1:28:23'After the double wedding of the century,

1:28:23 > 1:28:28'they lived, well, happily ever after,

1:28:28 > 1:28:29'running Marty's motel

1:28:29 > 1:28:33'and spending a lot of time with my grandkids,

1:28:33 > 1:28:36'whose adventures have just begun.

1:28:36 > 1:28:39'Though, not everyone is quite so excited.

1:28:39 > 1:28:43'But that is a whole other story.

1:28:43 > 1:28:45'The end.'

1:28:45 > 1:28:50MUSIC: "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey

1:29:19 > 1:29:23captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.