Lymelife

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0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains very strong language

0:00:08 > 0:00:10Today alone, I got 17 phone calls from my local residents claiming they have Lyme disease.

0:00:10 > 0:00:12Well, frankly, up until a few years ago, until 1975,

0:00:12 > 0:00:18the medical community had no idea what Lyme disease even was.

0:00:18 > 0:00:22All we knew was that it caused psychiatric disturbances and severe neurological disorders.

0:00:22 > 0:00:28Even so, it seems that over the last four years this disease has become

0:00:28 > 0:00:31no less debilitating, especially here in the Tristate suburban area.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34I assure you that the medical community is very close

0:00:34 > 0:00:38- to developing a treatment for Lyme disease because we now know the source.- The tick, right?

0:00:38 > 0:00:42Well, technically, the infection stems from the blood of the deer.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44The tick is just the transmitter.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Well, in any case, what precautions should people be taking?

0:00:49 > 0:00:52OK, let's have them.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Give me liberty or give me death.

0:00:54 > 0:00:57Hey, it's not funny. The last thing we need is for him to get sick.

0:00:57 > 0:01:01- He shouldn't even be next door in all those weeds without a tape. - You need a haircut.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Oh, sorry, Mick, all gone.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07Ticks I can handle, but, you, that's a different story.

0:01:09 > 0:01:13# You, you with a tick in your hair... #

0:01:13 > 0:01:15I'll be outside.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17Hey, don't go far.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21- You're paranoid.- I'm sorry, Mick.

0:01:21 > 0:01:23I just... You know, I have this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25It's a tradition.

0:01:25 > 0:01:30Besides, you know I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with him lately.

0:01:30 > 0:01:34Yeah, well, he's not the only one. We don't actually kill anything.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37I even started using blanks like you asked me to.

0:01:37 > 0:01:42- Listen, Mick, it's just dangerous now, OK? Look at Charlie.- Charlie?

0:01:42 > 0:01:46I wouldn't be surprised if we found out this whole thing was psychosomatic.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49OK, let's just forget about the whole thing,

0:01:49 > 0:01:52but I'm not going to be the one that lets him down.

0:02:00 > 0:02:03What are you doing? Still with that stupid quarter trick?

0:02:03 > 0:02:04No.

0:02:06 > 0:02:09You know, they say no matter where you are on Long Island, you can always hear the train.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Can't get far enough away.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Yeah, I heard that.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15No, you didn't. I just told you.

0:02:15 > 0:02:20TRAIN APPROACHES

0:03:19 > 0:03:21You.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22Fucking guy.

0:03:27 > 0:03:29So do you... What are you doing Friday? Satur...

0:03:29 > 0:03:31What are you... I'm busy Friday.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33You know you want this.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36Don't lie.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Don't lie to me.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44You're something special.

0:03:47 > 0:03:48Yeah, you are.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Scott, breakfast.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Uh, coming.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25GUNSHOT

0:04:25 > 0:04:29- Hey, hold on!- Who's there?- I'm coming. Don't shoot.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Oh, wow.

0:04:34 > 0:04:35Nice shot, Mr Bragg.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39I told you not to come around here. That could have been your head.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41I thought you were the best shot in your union.

0:04:41 > 0:04:42Doesn't matter.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46Accidents happen. Don't you understand that? Here.

0:04:50 > 0:04:51Yeah, that's a good shot.

0:04:51 > 0:04:56Yeah, I couldn't go this year on the hunting trip, but

0:04:56 > 0:04:58- how did you do?- I don't know.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01My mum wouldn't let us go.

0:05:01 > 0:05:05Well, that's a fucking shame. It was abundant, I heard.

0:05:05 > 0:05:06Deer as far as you could see.

0:05:06 > 0:05:09- Mmm-hmm.- Yeah?

0:05:09 > 0:05:14Yeah, I still have quite a bit left over from two years ago, you know?

0:05:14 > 0:05:16And I cured it myself.

0:05:16 > 0:05:17- Oh, really?- Mmm-hmm.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21- You want to see it?- Uh, see what?

0:05:22 > 0:05:23There it is.

0:05:26 > 0:05:30You got your shank, your hocks, shoulder.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Those are ribs, really good ribs.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36And that right there, that's the ass.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38- The what?- The ass.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Do you really eat that?

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Well, yeah. That's the best part.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46- You like ass?- Yes! Oh, yeah. Here.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50Tell you what. There you go.

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Yeah, I just don't want it to go bad in the locker.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54You're turning down a piece of ass?

0:05:54 > 0:05:59Well, I mean, I share a locker with someone and I don't know if they'd want

0:05:59 > 0:06:03a piece of ass in the locker, you know?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05- Hey, Scotty.- Hi.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08You taking this to school with you today?

0:06:08 > 0:06:09- Oh! Oh, yeah, I...- Yeah.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Why don't you go find Adrianna?

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Nice suit.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23Yeah, my mum made me wear it.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Your mum still makes you wear things?

0:06:28 > 0:06:31I wouldn't go broadcasting that if I were you.

0:06:33 > 0:06:37The sweater looks nice.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41This suit, though, is kind of...

0:06:41 > 0:06:43Just doesn't

0:06:43 > 0:06:45- fit me the way... - You know what? I'm going to be late.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Let's talk about it in the car, OK?

0:06:47 > 0:06:48Well, no, I called a cab. It's all right.

0:06:51 > 0:06:55Why, especially now, are we wasting money on cabs when I

0:06:55 > 0:06:58have a flexible enough job to drive you to the station and pick you up?

0:06:58 > 0:07:01Because I don't want to put you out, all right? I have all these interviews all over the city.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04- Every day you have an interview. - Melissa, listen.

0:07:04 > 0:07:09This thing, it's kicked my ass. You know that.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10Something good is going to happen.

0:07:10 > 0:07:13I promise. Really.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15OK.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17- You look nice. - Don't forget to take your pills.

0:07:17 > 0:07:18You have a nice day.

0:07:18 > 0:07:20DOOR CLOSES

0:07:39 > 0:07:40BELL RINGS

0:07:40 > 0:07:44Ever since he got sick, he spends more time with the stupid dead deer than he does with us.

0:07:44 > 0:07:46It's humiliating.

0:07:46 > 0:07:51Well, maybe because he doesn't have a job or whatever, it's, you know, it's his way of making up for it.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55You know, like,

0:07:55 > 0:07:57he hunts for food or whatever.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00That's a very interesting observation and all, but no. I don't think so.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04I mean, it's not like you guys are The Munsters or anything.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06I, uh... I got to go. I'll see you later.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30It's the American Dream, Mr Patel, right here on Long Island.

0:08:32 > 0:08:37Uh, in all honesty, Mr Patel, we've had a lot of interest, but, as they say, no cigar.

0:08:37 > 0:08:42I told your wife, if you're the first house built you have your pick of exposures.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46The sun does rise in the east, yes.

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Where does it rise in India, Mr Patel?

0:08:49 > 0:08:52What's the matter?

0:08:52 > 0:08:55It's just been a rough couple weeks.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57You don't want to hear my sob story.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Well, look, we're friends first, right?- I'm sorry.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02I'm just a little emotional.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04I understand.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06Charlie's...

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Charlie is not the guy that I married.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Well, we all change somewhat, no?

0:09:13 > 0:09:15Yeah, I know, but, God, why me?

0:09:15 > 0:09:20I mean, a bus, a robbery, an accident, but Lyme disease?

0:09:20 > 0:09:25Hey, look, you're not the one who has Lyme disease, right?

0:09:25 > 0:09:28Smile.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30OK.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33- Next.- Enjoy yourself now, dickweed.

0:09:34 > 0:09:35TODD BLOWS A RASPBERRY

0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Fartlett.- OK, look at the birdie.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41- Look at me.- I will fucking destroy you there, blue eyes.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45Today, I'm going to shove a telephone pole so far up your bung...

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Come on. Give me a smile.

0:09:47 > 0:09:48CAMERA WHIRS

0:09:50 > 0:09:51HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

0:09:51 > 0:09:54- I think Blaze Salado is into me. - Whatever.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Well, what do you think I should do?

0:09:56 > 0:09:59I mean, he's so mint. But I don't know.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02His real name isn't Blaze. It's something really dorky like Barry.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05TODD BLOWS A RASPBERRY

0:10:05 > 0:10:07TODD LAUGHS

0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Hey, Fartlett. We need to talk. - We do?

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Yeah. Unless you're too scared.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15- No, I'm not scared. - Get over here, you little dick.

0:10:18 > 0:10:19- Nice suit, Fartlett. - What do you want?

0:10:19 > 0:10:26I see your nigger rich daddy driving all over town in his Porsche and I want some money for my own, OK?

0:10:26 > 0:10:28Todd, what the fuck?

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Let him go. You're such an animal.

0:10:31 > 0:10:3320 every Friday.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Oh, you're a motherfucker. Get the fuck over here.

0:10:36 > 0:10:37Get the fuck over here.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Fuck over here.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Add 20, ass wipe.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49Asshole loser.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52Slutty whore.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Scott, are you OK?

0:10:54 > 0:10:58- Do you want me to call your mum or something?- No, I'm fine.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Well, how are you gonna get home?

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Jesus, just get the fuck out of here.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05Well, I'm just saying I can call your mum if you want.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07She can bring you an ice pack or some Yoo-hoo or something.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09What the fuck is wrong with you?

0:11:09 > 0:11:11Just go.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Fine.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21HE SOBS

0:11:22 > 0:11:24I missed the fricking bus.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27This is the best birthday present I could possibly get.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29But in your letter, you said that you wouldn't be here till next week.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32- I mean, I've got it, look, right here.- It's OK. Ma, I know.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35I know. I got out a week early. I just forgot to call is all, OK?

0:11:35 > 0:11:37OK, you know, I just I...

0:11:37 > 0:11:40You know me, I like to be prepared. You know, I wouldn't have made that.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46Oh, honey, you look so thin, you know?

0:11:46 > 0:11:50Like you got rickets in your bones. I mean, what do they feed you there?

0:11:50 > 0:11:51Um, pretty much this kind of stuff.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Oh, God almighty.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55I'm sorry. No, it's great. I love it. It's great.

0:11:55 > 0:11:59Thank you. Mmm, before I left, my commanding officer

0:11:59 > 0:12:02told me I might be activated because of the Falklands, so, basically, I'm here till told otherwise.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Ooh, the Balkan Islands.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06- I saw that on TV. - Balkan? Falkland. OK.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08Hello?

0:12:08 > 0:12:11Hi, honey. Hi. (Guess who.)

0:12:11 > 0:12:13Yeah, where is the little shit?

0:12:15 > 0:12:17R2D2, is that really you?

0:12:17 > 0:12:20Jim!

0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Hey, Jim.- Hey. Oh, you got big.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25No, no, no, OK, you know, I mean, uh, mature. Like, uh...

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Like a little lady.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Yeah, you look good, too.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Ah, yes, yeah, thank you.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34Basic training is a real bitch, but, you know, it really whips you into shape.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37- I thought you were coming next week. - Like, 1,000 sit-ups a day.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39- CO's a real hardass. - Oh, really? Wow.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42I take your compliment well. Hmm?

0:12:42 > 0:12:45- I thought you were coming next week. - Yeah, well, I'm early.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47What's this?

0:12:47 > 0:12:49- What are you gonna do?- Stay here.

0:12:52 > 0:12:53# Oh, lord, I'm walking down the line

0:12:54 > 0:12:56# Walking down the line... #

0:12:56 > 0:12:59- You want to get the fuck out here? What the fuck?- Fucking...

0:12:59 > 0:13:01What the fuck? Get off me.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Get the fuck off me.

0:13:18 > 0:13:23Never again. Do you understand me? I'll fucking kill you!

0:13:23 > 0:13:25- Jimmy, stop.- You're fucking dead!

0:13:25 > 0:13:26All right, enough, Jimmy.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Argh.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Shit.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41HE SOBS

0:13:59 > 0:14:01So, you learned all that in the army?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04To fight? No, they teach you how to kill there.

0:14:04 > 0:14:10- With your hands?- Hands, guns, knives, grenades, whatever.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12So, did you have to register them as lethal weapons?

0:14:12 > 0:14:14What, my hands?

0:14:14 > 0:14:16I think the army does that for you.

0:14:16 > 0:14:22Fucking A. That's cool, Jim. So, you had to control yourself.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24Like, your instincts.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27- That's awesome. - Oh, but about your eye...

0:14:27 > 0:14:30Oh, yeah. No, I'll tell mum I was playing dodgeball or something.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34- Good man. Does it hurt?- Oh!

0:14:37 > 0:14:39- I'm sorry about that.- Dick.

0:14:39 > 0:14:40Oh!

0:14:45 > 0:14:47You all right?

0:14:52 > 0:14:57Fucking asshole. So lucky you got Jimmy today, because if that shit was me...

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Call me Fartlett? Yeah, that's cool. Call me Fartlett. Whatever.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02You know, whatever, but you know what they say.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05You hit a guy like this.

0:15:05 > 0:15:10Boom, dead. Wah, wah, wah! Bah.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Molly Molloy,

0:15:15 > 0:15:18born in Dubuque, Iowa.

0:15:18 > 0:15:22Has a dog named Stella and feeds it red meat only.

0:15:22 > 0:15:25Adrianna Bragg,

0:15:25 > 0:15:2915, now in the 11th grade, Syosset High,

0:15:29 > 0:15:31no dog.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Scotty, it's my birthday. Come down and eat already.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Happy birthday.

0:15:51 > 0:15:52Oh, my God!

0:15:52 > 0:15:56I'll bet I make the cover of Architectural Digest.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58And it's yours?

0:15:58 > 0:16:01No, I bought it for the rag heads up the block that just hit the lotto.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Yes, it's mine. It's ours.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06Here, let me show you.

0:16:06 > 0:16:10This is going be the laundry room right here. This is the kitchen.

0:16:10 > 0:16:11I put in one of those centre islands that we talked about.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14You're going to love it. It's beautiful. Scott, this is going to be your room.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17Wow, looks like the Millennium Falcon.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19- Yeah, Mick, it's very modern. - Yeah, it's modern.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22It's ultra modern. I used the best architect on the island.

0:16:22 > 0:16:27- Really? Is there still time to, I don't know, maybe take the edge off somehow?- Take the edge off?

0:16:27 > 0:16:28- You're kidding, right?- No.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31You meant Millennium Falcon in a good way?

0:16:31 > 0:16:32Yeah, definitely.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39Check this out. This is where the sunroom is going to be with the eastern exposure.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Get that morning light that we talked about. Beautiful.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45The windows are double paned, plate glass, slightly tinted.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48They cost a fortune, but they are beautiful.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Yeah, but wouldn't it just be cheaper if we built a sunroom on our house?

0:16:51 > 0:16:54We don't have the acreage on our property.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56We could build a tennis court here.

0:16:56 > 0:16:57We don't have any tennis players in our family.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Maybe you could learn.

0:16:59 > 0:17:02We could put a tennis court in now if I wanted to learn, Mickey.

0:17:02 > 0:17:06Well, yeah, we could put in an above ground pool, too, but we might as well be back in Queens.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09- It wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it?- To be back in Queens?

0:17:09 > 0:17:11- Yeah.- Come on, Mum. Don't argue. It's your birthday.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13We'll be inside.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16You could have at least warned me.

0:17:16 > 0:17:20I mean, a decision like this you make without asking me, moving our family?

0:17:20 > 0:17:24It's next door. We're not moving. We're upgrading, you know?

0:17:24 > 0:17:26In with the new,

0:17:26 > 0:17:28out with the old.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38What is it with Queens?

0:17:38 > 0:17:41She's like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43It's different there. She had her neighbours around to complain to.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46- Takes her mind off the problems. - What problems?

0:17:46 > 0:17:47She doesn't have any problems.

0:17:47 > 0:17:51- You sound like Dad.- I do?

0:17:53 > 0:17:55They don't even fuck any more.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58What? How the fuck do you know that?

0:17:58 > 0:18:02- You know the rubbers under Dad's bed we used to use as water balloons? - Eww! Yeah.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04They haven't been there in over a year.

0:18:04 > 0:18:08OK, well, first of all, that's sick to even think about.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11And, second, she's coming, so shut the fuck up.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37I found them in the McWendell well.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40What if they have parents who will be worried if they don't come home?

0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Yeah, if frogs worry, I guess. - What do you think would happen if I didn't come home?

0:18:43 > 0:18:46- They'd look for you.- Who?

0:18:46 > 0:18:48I don't know.

0:18:48 > 0:18:52Maybe they'd send Blaze Saladfuck.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56I'm kidding.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59Really, I'm... You know, I'm sorry he never asked you out.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02It was weird seeing you get your ass kicked.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Well, he's bigger than me.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Wasn't a fair fight.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Yeah, but, I don't know...

0:19:08 > 0:19:11I felt like you were, like, my little brother or something.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13Really?

0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Your brother?- Yeah.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Yeah, I better go.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19What? No, come on. I'm kidding.

0:19:19 > 0:19:20I was joking.

0:19:22 > 0:19:25I didn't mean it in a bad way.

0:19:25 > 0:19:26- No, I was just kidding.- I'm not mad.

0:19:26 > 0:19:29God, you're being such a...

0:19:42 > 0:19:44No, you're supposed to smother it with something.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46- Then you can pull it out.- Shut up.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48Can you just shut up and let me do this?

0:20:00 > 0:20:02What is wrong with you?

0:20:10 > 0:20:12- Is it a bad one, Dad?- Yeah.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14What do you mean, a bad one?

0:20:14 > 0:20:16Deer tick.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22Yeah.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Well, where did it happen?

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Outside or in the house or...

0:20:26 > 0:20:29I don't know.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32- It's filled with blood.- Oh, my God.

0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Scotty, I'm so... - How are you feeling? You feeling OK?

0:20:35 > 0:20:36I'm so sorry.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38- Yeah, I'm fine. - He'll probably have to get a...

0:20:38 > 0:20:40What?

0:20:40 > 0:20:42Blood transfusion.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47I'm kidding. It's not a bad one.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50HE LAUGHS

0:20:50 > 0:20:53That's not funny. That's not funny.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Whoo.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Charlie, why don't you take him home, OK?

0:20:57 > 0:21:00Stop scratching. Let me see.

0:21:00 > 0:21:05- It's not a bad one, all right?- Would you take him home?

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Come on, come on. Let's go.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09Lighten up.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11Look at it through here.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Lovely.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16- OK, OK, don't...- It's not funny.

0:21:16 > 0:21:19I'm just kidding. You're hurting my arms, Jesus.

0:21:19 > 0:21:23- RADIO:- Cotton Bowl, a young Joe Montana, absolutely unbelievable.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25He fell ill...

0:21:27 > 0:21:30All right.

0:21:32 > 0:21:33What? What is it?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37- What does it feel like? - What does this feel...

0:21:37 > 0:21:41This feels like just a perpetual acid trip is what this feels like.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43What are you laughing at? I'm kidding.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46You don't know what an acid trip is.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49Hey, do you know what an acid trip is?

0:21:49 > 0:21:51- No, I have no fucking idea. - Good. Good.

0:21:53 > 0:21:58No, it changes. I mean, sometimes, it feels like

0:21:58 > 0:22:00the flu and other times it's worse, like...

0:22:02 > 0:22:05..you know, my head's on fire, kind of. Yeah.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Hey, you

0:22:08 > 0:22:11probably don't want to tell your mum about the tick.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13- Right? No tick?- Right, no tick.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15- No tick?- No, no tick.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20- Brenda. Hi.- Oh, Melissa!- Hi!

0:22:20 > 0:22:22How are you? How's your new house?

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Oh, it's coming quickly.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Yeah, I'm very happy with it.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28So, I'm seeing you today, right?

0:22:28 > 0:22:32Oh, why would you be?

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Well, Mickey said that the boys were coming out to the site. I just...

0:22:34 > 0:22:39- Well, I figured you were coming along with them.- Right.

0:22:39 > 0:22:42Yeah, God, well, it's Thanksgiving, though.

0:22:42 > 0:22:44Aren't... Are you working today?

0:22:44 > 0:22:45Indians, you know?

0:22:45 > 0:22:47They have different holidays than us.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53Hey, how's Scott doing? I'm sorry.

0:22:53 > 0:22:54I was going to call you.

0:22:56 > 0:22:58- I'm sorry, what do you mean? - He didn't tell you about the tick?

0:23:01 > 0:23:04Stop picking.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07Mum, this is ridiculous.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Do you have any idea how sick you could have gotten?

0:23:11 > 0:23:15- Do you? - I just look like a total dingus.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Did he call?- Did who call?

0:23:18 > 0:23:19- Dad.- No.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27Are you mad?

0:23:28 > 0:23:32- Just don't start lying to me Scott, OK?- No, I didn't lie.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34You didn't ask me anything.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37You should have told me, Scotty.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41Just tell me next time, OK? That's it.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43Maybe you should have had a girl.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45They tell their mothers everything.

0:23:45 > 0:23:50Well, maybe you should have asked God for a mother who doesn't care about her children.

0:23:50 > 0:23:54Look, just don't argue with me right now, OK? I'm sorry. I'm very tired.

0:23:54 > 0:23:59PHONE RINGS

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Hello.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04Yeah, they're both here.

0:24:04 > 0:24:05Jimmy's asleep.

0:24:07 > 0:24:11Look, was there any reason I wasn't informed of this little field trip?

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Yeah, um, you know what?

0:24:18 > 0:24:22I don't want to hear it, and I don't have time anyway.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24Dinner's at four sharp.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33Go wake your brother.

0:24:35 > 0:24:40The idea is to presell off the model, as many as I can, then borrow from the bank to build. This is

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Scott Street, and this is James.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45Nobody calls me James any more.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Had I known, Jim, I would have named you, you know, Boardwalk,

0:24:48 > 0:24:53- Park Place, Lexington, Madison. - Why don't we just move here?

0:24:53 > 0:24:57Well, this is affordable housing for people making 20,000, 30,000 a year.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59- That's not us any more. - Well, how much do you make?

0:24:59 > 0:25:03That's a bad habit, Scott, asking people how much money they make.

0:25:03 > 0:25:08Your dad, it's OK. But by this time next year, we will officially be millionaires.

0:25:09 > 0:25:14And you can quit that army shit, make some real dough, right?

0:25:15 > 0:25:19Da dada dada dada dada dada dada dadah da.

0:25:19 > 0:25:23Dada dada dada dada dada dada dadah.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32- What problems do they have? - I'll tell you when you're of age, all right?

0:25:32 > 0:25:35Trust me. Oh, shit.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Oh, this is embarrassing.

0:25:42 > 0:25:43Hi, guys.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Man.

0:25:47 > 0:25:51# Weatherwise, it's such a lovely day... #

0:25:51 > 0:25:53SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

0:25:53 > 0:25:56# Just say the words and we'll beat the birds

0:25:56 > 0:25:59# Down to Acapulco Bay... #

0:25:59 > 0:26:02Oh, my God! Oh! Ah.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08Gosh. Oh!

0:26:08 > 0:26:11I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep up there.

0:26:11 > 0:26:16- How is it? Is it...- Uh, sad to say, this bird has seen better days. Ow!

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Oh, I...

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Where's your father?

0:26:25 > 0:26:26# Heaven.. #

0:26:26 > 0:26:28Oh, God, what a waste.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30Ah, well, at least we have each other, right?

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Yeah?

0:26:32 > 0:26:34SHE LAUGHS

0:26:35 > 0:26:38Oh, I'm sorry.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43Dad's site is awesome.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46- How nice.- Yeah, it's huge.

0:26:46 > 0:26:49Like, the size of six football fields tied together.

0:26:49 > 0:26:53Wow. Yeah, it's supposed to be like a modern day Levittown.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55You should go out there.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Really, it's amazing.

0:26:58 > 0:27:01Dad said by this time next year we'll be millionaires.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04More money, more problems.

0:27:06 > 0:27:10- Jimmy, do you remember how we used to lay out on our roof in Queens, remember?- Oh, yeah, yeah.

0:27:10 > 0:27:14And what's his name, the old nut next door. What's the name?

0:27:14 > 0:27:17- Oh, gee! Um, Veltry.- Veltry, right.

0:27:17 > 0:27:21- Oh, yeah, he'd just sit in his window for hours, lurking, like... - Exactly! Like that, with that face.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23SHE LAUGHS

0:27:23 > 0:27:27Did you burn any turkeys back then, Dorothy?

0:27:27 > 0:27:30Dorothy?

0:27:30 > 0:27:34You said Dorothy, right? What did you mean by that?

0:27:34 > 0:27:38Because all you have to do is click your heels together and you're back in Queens.

0:27:47 > 0:27:49Aah.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51On that note!

0:27:54 > 0:27:57Anybody up for a hot game of Monopoly?

0:27:57 > 0:27:59- Yeah.- Good, because I am.

0:27:59 > 0:28:00SHE LAUGHS

0:28:04 > 0:28:07Shit. Shit. I'm...

0:28:07 > 0:28:08God damn it, I'm...

0:28:08 > 0:28:10All right.

0:28:16 > 0:28:19Sometimes I just feel so stupid, you know?

0:28:21 > 0:28:22It's OK, Mum.

0:28:52 > 0:28:53- Hi, Dad.- Hi.

0:28:55 > 0:28:56What do you think?

0:28:59 > 0:29:01Um, nice shoes.

0:29:01 > 0:29:05- Could you zip this up for me? - Uh, sure.

0:29:07 > 0:29:13Sweetie, don't you think you're going to be kind of cold with all the back exposed like that?

0:29:13 > 0:29:17Dad! Dad, come on, It's fine. I have a jacket. And it's a church party.

0:29:17 > 0:29:19The strap thing, the pink?

0:29:19 > 0:29:22- You can see it.- Dad, since when did you become such a square?

0:29:22 > 0:29:24But do you know that you can see it?

0:29:24 > 0:29:26Yeah, yeah, it's part of the dress.

0:29:26 > 0:29:29- That's what they're... That's the look?- That's what the girls are wearing these days.- OK.

0:29:29 > 0:29:31All right. Are you sure you're not going to come to the church party?

0:29:31 > 0:29:34No, I have a lot of irons in the fire.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36- Are you sure?- Yeah, I'm sure.

0:29:36 > 0:29:39Have a great time, OK?

0:29:39 > 0:29:41I will. Love you. Bye.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43- I love you.- Lights look great.

0:29:43 > 0:29:46Yeah, they're going to be beautiful all over the house.

0:29:52 > 0:29:55Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name.

0:29:55 > 0:30:01Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is done in Heaven.

0:30:01 > 0:30:05And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,

0:30:05 > 0:30:09and deliver us, lord, from all evil, and grant us peace this day.

0:30:12 > 0:30:16- Peace be with you. - And also with you.

0:30:16 > 0:30:18And now let's offer one another a gesture of peace today.

0:30:18 > 0:30:20- Peace be with you.- And also with you.

0:30:26 > 0:30:27Peace be with you, honey.

0:30:36 > 0:30:42# Thy shall never love another....

0:30:42 > 0:30:43Thy shall never love another

0:30:45 > 0:30:49# And stand by me all the while

0:30:49 > 0:30:51And stand by me all the while

0:30:53 > 0:30:58# Take happiness with the heartaches

0:30:58 > 0:31:01Take happiness with the heartaches...

0:31:01 > 0:31:03What's up, Mr Saturday Night Fever?

0:31:03 > 0:31:05Merry Christmas.

0:31:06 > 0:31:09Do you like?

0:31:09 > 0:31:11- Not bad.- Not bad?

0:31:11 > 0:31:13Come on. It's better than not bad.

0:31:13 > 0:31:15Yeah, I guess.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17Turn around. Let me see.

0:31:20 > 0:31:22This is kind of beat, huh?

0:31:22 > 0:31:24It's a church.

0:31:26 > 0:31:28Sneak a bottle of red and meet me in the confessionals.

0:31:30 > 0:31:34Thou should always have faith in me

0:31:34 > 0:31:38# In everything I say and do

0:31:38 > 0:31:40In everything I say and do...

0:31:40 > 0:31:43Bless me, father, for I have blah, blah, blah.

0:31:43 > 0:31:45Did you bring the wine?

0:31:45 > 0:31:48I said red, not white.

0:31:48 > 0:31:50Well, couldn't exactly be choosy.

0:31:55 > 0:31:57You've never drank, have you?

0:31:57 > 0:31:59Oh, well, yeah.

0:31:59 > 0:32:01We're in a confessional, Scott.

0:32:01 > 0:32:03You can't just blatantly lie.

0:32:05 > 0:32:08You have to tell me the truth, no matter what I ask you.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14Ask me something.

0:32:19 > 0:32:22Um, have you ever thought of me

0:32:22 > 0:32:24as more than just like a brother?

0:32:26 > 0:32:29OK, enough truth. Let's play dare. It'll be more fun.

0:32:29 > 0:32:31Dare isn't part of a confession.

0:32:31 > 0:32:34Well, neither is drinking.

0:32:37 > 0:32:39Fine, I'll dare you something first.

0:32:39 > 0:32:41I dare you...

0:32:43 > 0:32:45I dare you to close your eyes.

0:32:52 > 0:32:54OK, open.

0:32:56 > 0:32:57What do you think?

0:33:01 > 0:33:04Nice.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10I said, "look", perv.

0:33:13 > 0:33:19I hate to ask, Mickey, and you know how Charlie is about favours, but I just can't live with it.

0:33:19 > 0:33:22Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I just wish you'd said something sooner.

0:33:22 > 0:33:23I'll get a couple of guys over here right away.

0:33:23 > 0:33:25Oh, you don't need to do that.

0:33:25 > 0:33:29I mean, well, you could take it out of my commissions.

0:33:29 > 0:33:30Oh, are you kidding me? Please.

0:33:30 > 0:33:33You deserve it. Just tell Charlie it's a bonus.

0:33:33 > 0:33:36I can give you a bonus, right?

0:33:44 > 0:33:47Don't worry. Charlie's in the city late tonight.

0:33:56 > 0:33:59This here is wrong.

0:34:00 > 0:34:02I know.

0:34:02 > 0:34:07SHE PANTS AND MOANS

0:34:42 > 0:34:44Mickey. Oh, Mickey.

0:34:44 > 0:34:47Mum?

0:34:47 > 0:34:50Dad?

0:34:58 > 0:34:59OK, we're cool.

0:35:07 > 0:35:11You have to inhale, like like your mum just caught you doing something really bad.

0:35:11 > 0:35:14Watch, like this.

0:35:14 > 0:35:15Mummy's coming.

0:35:21 > 0:35:23Mummy's coming!

0:35:23 > 0:35:26HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

0:35:26 > 0:35:28Holy shit!

0:35:28 > 0:35:30- You're cute.- I am?

0:35:30 > 0:35:32I mean,

0:35:32 > 0:35:35I know.

0:35:35 > 0:35:40If you were, like, three years older, we could go out, because I only go out with older boys.

0:35:40 > 0:35:42They're more mature.

0:35:42 > 0:35:45Some of them even have moustaches.

0:35:45 > 0:35:48- Shit.- Oh, you like moustaches?

0:35:48 > 0:35:49You got a long way to go.

0:35:51 > 0:35:56Well, I mean, my dad doesn't really have one. He's the one I take after.

0:35:56 > 0:35:59Your dad doesn't need one to attract the ladies.

0:35:59 > 0:36:01What do you mean?

0:36:01 > 0:36:07Let me put it this way. I wouldn't be so hip to taking after him so much if I were you.

0:36:07 > 0:36:10- That's all.- Well, why the fuck not?

0:36:10 > 0:36:11I'm just saying, like...

0:36:11 > 0:36:15OK, the last person I want to end up like is my mother.

0:36:15 > 0:36:17I mean, the both of them are

0:36:17 > 0:36:20just so... I don't know, phony or something.

0:36:20 > 0:36:26Phony? Have you been reading that book about the kid who runs away from private school?

0:36:26 > 0:36:28Actually, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I have.

0:36:28 > 0:36:32Well, you know, it turns out the only one who's phony is...

0:36:35 > 0:36:37Are you stoned?

0:36:37 > 0:36:39- You look stoned.- No.

0:36:39 > 0:36:41- Are you feeling it?- You make me...

0:36:43 > 0:36:47Turns out that the only one who's phony is, you know, fucking what's his name.

0:36:49 > 0:36:53Uh, the... the... The kid who tells the story.

0:36:55 > 0:36:57Fucking Caulfield.

0:36:57 > 0:36:59So?

0:36:59 > 0:37:01So?

0:37:01 > 0:37:04Anyways, as I was saying, older boys,

0:37:06 > 0:37:08they can take a hint. You know, they don't have to do much guessing.

0:37:08 > 0:37:15Like, for example, when a girl's wearing mistletoe in her hair, pretty much means one thing.

0:37:15 > 0:37:17Oh, wow, yeah.

0:37:17 > 0:37:18That's beautiful.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28I think mummy's really coming.

0:37:31 > 0:37:34Hey. What happened?

0:37:34 > 0:37:36I thought you guys were going to the church party.

0:37:36 > 0:37:39Yeah, yeah, it was beat.

0:37:39 > 0:37:42What's that smell?

0:37:42 > 0:37:45- Is that...- Oh, yeah, I was just showing her this trick.

0:37:45 > 0:37:48Scotty, don't do that!

0:37:48 > 0:37:50You're going to burn down the house.

0:37:50 > 0:37:53MAN COUGHS

0:37:53 > 0:37:55That's your dad.

0:37:55 > 0:37:56My dad's here?

0:37:56 > 0:38:00Yeah. Yeah, he's helping, um... He's going to help us with the sunroom.

0:38:01 > 0:38:04Hey. How you guys doing?

0:38:04 > 0:38:06You staying out of trouble?

0:38:06 > 0:38:08Yeah, how are you, Mr Bartlett?

0:38:08 > 0:38:09I'm pretty good.

0:38:11 > 0:38:13Nice shirt there, big guy.

0:38:13 > 0:38:15Yeah.

0:38:16 > 0:38:18We should, um, get back.

0:38:18 > 0:38:21Uh, yeah, to the, uh...

0:38:21 > 0:38:24To the... To the site. We got some late customers.

0:38:24 > 0:38:27So, I'll see you back at the house.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29Be good.

0:38:29 > 0:38:32Bye.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34Holy shit. Do you think he knew?

0:38:36 > 0:38:37Scott, erm...

0:38:40 > 0:38:42Your dad's fucking my mum.

0:38:43 > 0:38:46I mean, come on, fixing the sunroom in the basement?

0:38:48 > 0:38:50He is not.

0:38:50 > 0:38:52Is too.

0:38:52 > 0:38:54Oh, man. I feel... I feel...

0:39:02 > 0:39:07# The bells of St Mary's

0:39:07 > 0:39:15# I hear they are calling... #

0:39:43 > 0:39:44Oh, holy shit.

0:39:56 > 0:40:00Oh, holy fucking shit.

0:40:00 > 0:40:05- TV:- ...seized the American embassy in Tehran. They took many hostages.

0:40:11 > 0:40:13You have a rough night last night, kiddo?

0:40:13 > 0:40:17- Are you sure you want to go to school? You feel OK?- Uh huh.

0:40:17 > 0:40:19Well, come here and eat something.

0:40:19 > 0:40:21Oh, no, I'm fine. The bus. I'm late.

0:40:21 > 0:40:24You should put something in your stomach. I'll take you. Come on. Sit down.

0:40:24 > 0:40:27You know, that's OK. I'm OK.

0:40:27 > 0:40:29Everything's great. I'll see you guys later.

0:40:29 > 0:40:31Hold on.

0:40:31 > 0:40:33Your brother's leaving on Tuesday...

0:40:33 > 0:40:35Tuesday now.

0:40:36 > 0:40:38Come on, guys, cheer up.

0:40:38 > 0:40:41Oh, don't mind us. Go... Yeah, have a good time. Go ahead.

0:40:41 > 0:40:46But what could be better than hanging here with Doom and Gloom?

0:40:46 > 0:40:49Look, just promise me you won't be a hero.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52You can always hide out somewhere safe and just wait till it's over.

0:40:52 > 0:40:55- It's not World War II. - Yeah, it's the Falkland Islands.

0:40:55 > 0:40:57Probably won't even be a single shot fired.

0:40:57 > 0:41:00But if there is, Jimmy's on the front line, first to go in.

0:41:00 > 0:41:03Dick! No, that's bull. Come on, Scotty. That's bullshit.

0:41:03 > 0:41:05- No, is he really joking? - He just told me.

0:41:05 > 0:41:08He just told me about the big scary Spanish guys.

0:41:08 > 0:41:10Fuckhead. So full of shit.

0:41:10 > 0:41:12They just activated me because...

0:41:12 > 0:41:15They're mobilizing the troops. Have them sitting on

0:41:15 > 0:41:17aircraft carriers, smoking cigarettes, probably.

0:41:17 > 0:41:19- Yeah, probably.- Yeah? - Hopefully.

0:41:21 > 0:41:23HE GURGLES

0:41:23 > 0:41:25Some turnout, huh?

0:41:25 > 0:41:27- Yeah.- Mr Popular all of a sudden.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30- Mm-hmm.- Yeah, you should slow down.

0:41:30 > 0:41:35You should speed up. You want to dance with me?

0:41:35 > 0:41:37Come on,

0:41:37 > 0:41:39live a little.

0:41:39 > 0:41:41- OK.- Come on.

0:41:45 > 0:41:48# When you wear your bellbottom pants

0:41:48 > 0:41:50# I just stand there in a trance

0:41:50 > 0:41:53# I can't move your inner groove... #

0:41:57 > 0:42:00No, hey! No, shit bag. Too young for that.

0:42:00 > 0:42:02- Tastes like piss anyway.- It is piss.

0:42:02 > 0:42:04Shut up, dick.

0:42:10 > 0:42:13Wow! The hero, huh?

0:42:13 > 0:42:15Ah, not quite yet.

0:42:15 > 0:42:18- Adrianna, will you go get me my drink?- Sure.

0:42:23 > 0:42:25Are you really that sick, bringing her here?

0:42:25 > 0:42:28She's my mom, Scott. I can't not let her do things.

0:42:29 > 0:42:35- A Long Island Iced Tea, please.- Don't you mean an iced tea without the Long Island part?- It's for my mom.

0:42:37 > 0:42:39- Can I dance with you guys?- Yeah.

0:42:39 > 0:42:42MUSIC PLAYS

0:43:04 > 0:43:07# It's more than a feeling More than a feeling

0:43:07 > 0:43:12# When I hear that old song they used to play

0:43:12 > 0:43:16# And I begin dreaming More than a feeling

0:43:16 > 0:43:19# Until I see Marianne walk away... #

0:43:19 > 0:43:23Kids, I'm going to call it quits, OK?

0:43:23 > 0:43:30- You sure?- Yeah.- You OK? - Yeah, no, I'm a little tired.- Yeah?

0:43:30 > 0:43:34- I'll see you later before you go, right?- Yeah.

0:43:34 > 0:43:37- You going to take Scotty home? - Yeah, of course. Bye, Mom.

0:43:37 > 0:43:38Love you guys.

0:43:49 > 0:43:54Hey, Dad, think I can talk to you for a second?

0:43:54 > 0:43:56What?

0:43:56 > 0:43:57Think I can talk to you for a second?

0:43:59 > 0:44:00Yeah, go ahead.

0:44:00 > 0:44:03- Come here, over here. - Hey, we're dancing.

0:44:03 > 0:44:07- I know, but just want to talk to him for a second, OK?- All right.

0:44:07 > 0:44:09- Just for a second. - Yeah, just a second.

0:44:11 > 0:44:13If I disappointed you somehow, I'm sorry.

0:44:13 > 0:44:17What am I going to do about it? You've got your mother's hard-to-please gene.

0:44:17 > 0:44:20I'm just saying, whatever it is you're doing,

0:44:20 > 0:44:22just don't flaunt it around so much.

0:44:22 > 0:44:26- And what is it I'm doing, hmm? - You know.

0:44:26 > 0:44:29Tell me. I want you to tell me, hmm?

0:44:30 > 0:44:35I'm asking you a question, soldier. Answer me.

0:44:35 > 0:44:38What? You can't take a little love tap now and then? Tell me.

0:44:38 > 0:44:42You better learn how to defend yourself. You're going over there to fight.

0:44:42 > 0:44:47You let those fucking spics push you around? Come on! Come on!

0:44:47 > 0:44:54Tough guy, come on. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

0:44:54 > 0:44:58Come on, Jimbo, you've been waiting a long time for this.

0:44:58 > 0:45:02Come on, give it to me, give it to me, give it to me.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05- Come on, give it to me, come on! - Fuck.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07Fuck!

0:45:13 > 0:45:18Whatever it is you're doing, just watch it.

0:45:18 > 0:45:20Fucking Scott, Dad.

0:45:25 > 0:45:28What did I tell you about this world, hmm?

0:45:28 > 0:45:32You're either chasing something, or you're running away from something.

0:45:32 > 0:45:34Me, I chase.

0:45:34 > 0:45:38You? But maybe I'm wrong about you.

0:45:38 > 0:45:43Maybe a little piece of me rubbed off on you. Just a little piece.

0:45:49 > 0:45:53Don't get shot to pieces over there.

0:45:55 > 0:45:57I'm never going to speak to you again.

0:46:07 > 0:46:10You said you were leaving tomorrow. You told Mom you'd see her before. I heard you.

0:46:10 > 0:46:12Do you have to leave now?

0:46:12 > 0:46:16I'm in the fucking service, Scott. I have to go and fight.

0:46:16 > 0:46:18When do you ship out? Maybe I can come and visit.

0:46:18 > 0:46:22I don't know. I'll probably go out first, right away.

0:46:22 > 0:46:23That's cool.

0:46:23 > 0:46:27Can you bring me back a rifle, or a grenade, or something?

0:46:29 > 0:46:32I don't carry a rifle.

0:46:32 > 0:46:35What do you mean? What do you have, an Uzi?

0:46:35 > 0:46:40Oh, fuck. I'm a communications specialist.

0:46:40 > 0:46:41Communications what?

0:46:41 > 0:46:44You know Radar in MASH? That's me.

0:46:44 > 0:46:46No, you said...

0:46:46 > 0:46:50No, I didn't say anything. You assumed, which is something you shouldn't be doing so much of.

0:46:50 > 0:46:55Are you kidding me? You're like Radar?

0:46:55 > 0:46:58I'm not like fucking Radar, OK? I just do what he does on the show.

0:47:00 > 0:47:04You think I like being stuck in uniform in the fucking middle of nowhere,

0:47:04 > 0:47:06taking orders from a bunch of assholes with guns?

0:47:06 > 0:47:10- So quit.- And what? Come home? Everything's going to be OK?

0:47:10 > 0:47:13Dad's been doing this as long as I can remember.

0:47:13 > 0:47:16And as long as she fucking takes this, it's going to go on and on.

0:47:16 > 0:47:19You're going to rot your fucking stomach out like I did.

0:47:21 > 0:47:23I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone.

0:47:23 > 0:47:26Welcome to our wonderful, little family

0:47:26 > 0:47:28and our perfect little suburban life.

0:47:33 > 0:47:36You know what? Dad's right about one thing.

0:47:36 > 0:47:40You should go to college in another state, way across the fucking country.

0:47:42 > 0:47:46Yeah, maybe I'll just give up and become a pussy like Radar.

0:47:49 > 0:47:50I really hope you don't.

0:48:40 > 0:48:43COUGHING

0:48:43 > 0:48:44Who's there?

0:48:46 > 0:48:48Uh, just me.

0:48:50 > 0:48:51What's with the shifty eyes?

0:48:53 > 0:48:59It makes you look like you're...ashamed of something.

0:48:59 > 0:49:00Yeah. Uh, no.

0:49:03 > 0:49:09I was just coming to see if she was around so we could ride the bus.

0:49:09 > 0:49:11She got a ride.

0:49:11 > 0:49:13From who?

0:49:13 > 0:49:17Listen, at her age, things change every day, OK, at any age.

0:49:17 > 0:49:20That's one thing you can be sure of in life - things change.

0:49:22 > 0:49:27Scott, listen. Tomorrow she might be right back on the bus with you. Who knows?

0:49:27 > 0:49:28OK?

0:49:32 > 0:49:37# Baby, when I think about you

0:49:37 > 0:49:42# I think about love

0:49:43 > 0:49:46# Darling, I don't want to live without you

0:49:48 > 0:49:53# And your love

0:49:53 > 0:49:56# If I had... #

0:49:56 > 0:49:59- Is that a tear in your eye? - What are you talking about?

0:49:59 > 0:50:00Writing's on the wall, man.

0:50:00 > 0:50:03- She's totally sucking it out with Blaze.- So?

0:50:03 > 0:50:08- What's it to me?- I thought you were, like, totally fucking in love with her since you were eight.

0:50:08 > 0:50:11Well, don't you know things change in life, idiot?

0:50:11 > 0:50:13- Asshole.- Dick.

0:50:13 > 0:50:16Sorry.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18I don't know, man.

0:50:18 > 0:50:21Maybe when I was a kid, but now it's just...

0:50:21 > 0:50:23it was the only way I could have,

0:50:23 > 0:50:25you know...

0:50:25 > 0:50:29- Holy shit! You mean you...- All right, keep it down, dick weed.- You can't leave me hanging out to dry.

0:50:29 > 0:50:31You've got to tell me everything.

0:50:31 > 0:50:34# Feel like making love

0:50:35 > 0:50:42# Feel like making love to you. #

0:50:48 > 0:50:51Hope we have nice weather for your confirmation.

0:50:56 > 0:50:58What's wrong, Scotty?

0:51:01 > 0:51:03I'm sorry.

0:51:03 > 0:51:06Why are you sorry?

0:51:06 > 0:51:08Cos I thought you were crazy.

0:51:16 > 0:51:18Here, try these.

0:51:18 > 0:51:20Go ahead.

0:51:20 > 0:51:23Tell me why you thought I was crazy.

0:51:23 > 0:51:26Because, Mom, you're never happy.

0:51:26 > 0:51:28You hate Dad.

0:51:28 > 0:51:31And now I do, too.

0:51:31 > 0:51:33Scotty, don't tell me how I feel.

0:51:34 > 0:51:38And why are you even worrying yourself with my problems with your father?

0:51:38 > 0:51:43Well, they're kind of my problems too when he's fucking Mrs Bragg.

0:51:43 > 0:51:45Scott, God damn it!

0:51:45 > 0:51:47How dare you speak to me like that!

0:51:56 > 0:51:58ELECTRONIC BEEP

0:51:58 > 0:52:00Some friend you are.

0:52:00 > 0:52:03Blaze, where'd you come up with that?

0:52:03 > 0:52:04ELECTRONIC BEEP

0:52:06 > 0:52:07Just watch it, man.

0:52:17 > 0:52:18ELECTRONIC BEEP

0:52:22 > 0:52:23Fucking idiot.

0:52:23 > 0:52:25You're such a fucking liar!

0:52:25 > 0:52:29You so lied your wimpy little baby brat ass off.

0:52:29 > 0:52:32Do you have nothing to say?

0:52:32 > 0:52:34What did you hear?

0:52:34 > 0:52:38I heard that you fingered me and it was like the inside of a jelly doughnut.

0:52:38 > 0:52:40I mean, eugh, Scott, that is so disgusting.

0:52:40 > 0:52:42Shit.

0:52:44 > 0:52:47What the fuck did I ever do to you?

0:52:47 > 0:52:49I don't know.

0:52:49 > 0:52:51You treat me different.

0:52:51 > 0:52:54Maybe it's because I, like, liked you.

0:52:56 > 0:52:57Idiot.

0:53:01 > 0:53:04Look, half the guys in my grade lie about this sort of thing all the time.

0:53:04 > 0:53:06I'll just say it was made up.

0:53:06 > 0:53:09You know how it is. I'm already getting weird phone calls.

0:53:09 > 0:53:13- That's the third... - God, you are such an asshole!

0:53:13 > 0:53:15Do you think I'm a slut?

0:53:15 > 0:53:17- No.- Well, I'm not, OK?

0:53:17 > 0:53:19- I'm not like my mother.- I know that.

0:53:19 > 0:53:22Oh, so you think my mom's a slut?

0:53:22 > 0:53:24I didn't say that. You said "Do you think..."

0:53:24 > 0:53:27Well, she is, OK? She's a big, fat, slutty whore.

0:53:27 > 0:53:28I can't even look at her.

0:53:32 > 0:53:36Maybe they'll, like, die together in a car accident or something.

0:53:40 > 0:53:42You know this is the third rail, right?

0:53:42 > 0:53:45Really? Is that all you have to say?

0:53:49 > 0:53:54You know, they say no matter where you are on Long Island, you can always hear the train.

0:53:54 > 0:53:55You can't get far enough away.

0:53:59 > 0:54:01What are you, Walt Whitman now?

0:54:06 > 0:54:08And don't follow me.

0:54:19 > 0:54:21- Your father called.- Yeah?

0:54:21 > 0:54:26Yeah, he said he got tickets to the game tonight at the Coliseum.

0:54:26 > 0:54:28He wants you to be ready to leave by six.

0:54:30 > 0:54:32I don't want to go.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49What do you mean, he doesn't want to go to the game?

0:54:49 > 0:54:51He loves the Islanders.

0:54:51 > 0:54:53Where is he? Is he in his room?

0:54:53 > 0:54:57- Is he sick?- He knows.

0:54:58 > 0:55:00He knows what?

0:55:02 > 0:55:05He knows that you're a motherfucker, literally.

0:55:05 > 0:55:07What kind of shit is that to say?

0:55:09 > 0:55:11You do fuck mothers, don't you?

0:55:13 > 0:55:17Man, you can take the girl out of Queens, am I right?

0:55:17 > 0:55:21Yeah, and what are you, King Farouk all of a sudden now you got a few dollars in your pocket?

0:55:24 > 0:55:26- I can't do this any more, Mick. - You can't do what?

0:55:28 > 0:55:30I don't love you any more.

0:55:33 > 0:55:35I cannot stand the sight of your face.

0:55:35 > 0:55:39I do not want to be in the same room with you. I-I find you so ugly.

0:55:39 > 0:55:41And I can't even stand the way you fucking smell,

0:55:41 > 0:55:44the way you brush your teeth, the way you eat your fucking food.

0:55:44 > 0:55:47Oh, you got the fucking shit-eating grin on your face all the time.

0:55:47 > 0:55:49You fucking drive me up the fucking wall.

0:55:49 > 0:55:53And I can't live with myself if I have to spend another night in bed with you.

0:55:53 > 0:55:56You make me sick to my stomach.

0:55:56 > 0:55:59Hey, fuck this garbage! I'm going to go get Scott and I'm taking him to the game.

0:55:59 > 0:56:03God damn it, Mickey. I will not be humiliated in front of my children any more!

0:56:03 > 0:56:07Humiliated? What the fuck are you talking about? I break my ass for this family!

0:56:07 > 0:56:10- Bullshit.- You spend more time with your goddamn fig tree...

0:56:10 > 0:56:13My mother got me that fig tree. She told me not to marry Irish.

0:56:13 > 0:56:17- Please!- If you want to bring our wedding day into this, that's a bigger issue.

0:56:17 > 0:56:20Fuck this nonsense! I'm going to get Scott and go to the game.

0:56:20 > 0:56:22CRASH Look, I made my decision.

0:56:22 > 0:56:26- You're telling me now that you weren't happy on your wedding day? - Telling me that you felt trapped

0:56:26 > 0:56:30minutes before the ceremony didn't exactly bring a fucking smile to my face.

0:56:30 > 0:56:32I was talking about the tux.

0:56:32 > 0:56:36- So this is all just some big misunderstanding?- Maybe. - You know what? Maybe?

0:56:36 > 0:56:38Well, no more. I made my decision.

0:56:38 > 0:56:40I want you out of this fucking house.

0:56:42 > 0:56:44- Do you know why I go with other women?- Oh, Christ.

0:56:44 > 0:56:46- Do you know why I go with other women?- No.

0:56:46 > 0:56:49Because they don't tell me I make them sick to their stomach!

0:56:49 > 0:56:51- I don't care.- That's why...

0:56:51 > 0:56:55- I don't want to hear... Shut the fuck up.- Fuck you!- Fuck you.

0:56:55 > 0:56:58I'm tired of you rubbing my face in this shit. You get the fuck out of this house.

0:56:58 > 0:57:02Oh, come on, please. Where do you think I'm going to go? I'm not going...

0:57:02 > 0:57:04Get out of my house.

0:57:04 > 0:57:06What are you doing? Are you fucking crazy?

0:57:06 > 0:57:08- This is my house.- This is my house.

0:57:08 > 0:57:11Yeah, I'm crazy. I am crazy. I'm fucking insane right now.

0:57:11 > 0:57:13Get out of my house.

0:57:26 > 0:57:29GASPS

0:57:43 > 0:57:47MUSIC PLAYS

0:57:53 > 0:57:57See the guy at the end of the bar? Tell him to come down here.

0:58:01 > 0:58:03Mick. How the fuck are you?

0:58:03 > 0:58:08Yeah, Melissa told me you sold the last of the plots. Congratulations.

0:58:08 > 0:58:10Yeah, I couldn't have done it without her.

0:58:10 > 0:58:13No, absolutely. I tell myself that every day.

0:58:13 > 0:58:15She's a real gem, a pro.

0:58:18 > 0:58:21Well, sit down. Let's catch up, have a little drink.

0:58:21 > 0:58:24- Buy you a drink.- One drink?- Yeah.

0:58:24 > 0:58:25I got time for a quick drink.

0:58:25 > 0:58:28- I got a lot of shit going on, boy. - You sure do.

0:58:28 > 0:58:31You sure do, Mick.

0:58:31 > 0:58:32Let me see if I... It's all right.

0:58:32 > 0:58:39I'll remember. Let me get my friend, uh...a, uh...uh, uh, a gimlet, neat.

0:58:40 > 0:58:42You got a sharp memory.

0:58:44 > 0:58:48- So she tells me that the, uh, penicillin, is it, uh, working for you?- Mm.

0:58:48 > 0:58:50Oh, God, no, it's, uh...

0:58:50 > 0:58:54Who the fuck knows? I mean,

0:58:54 > 0:59:01one day, the doctor tells me it's MS, right? And then the next day,

0:59:01 > 0:59:03he tells me it's...

0:59:04 > 0:59:05HE MOUTHS

0:59:07 > 0:59:08What?

0:59:12 > 0:59:13(Syphilis)

0:59:16 > 0:59:18- Syphilis? - Yeah.

0:59:18 > 0:59:20Yes, fucking syphilis.

0:59:25 > 0:59:32What amazes me, Mick, is that this tiny little bug no bigger than a pimple on your ass

0:59:32 > 0:59:34can change your life.

0:59:34 > 0:59:36Yeah, that's a real shame.

0:59:38 > 0:59:44Hey, Mick... You ever think about how it could have been you?

0:59:44 > 0:59:47You were sitting right next to me on that hunting trip, you remember?

0:59:49 > 0:59:50Yeah, you remember?

0:59:56 > 0:59:58Do you have, uh, syphilis?

1:00:08 > 1:00:10Well, you know, sometimes...

1:00:13 > 1:00:15..I wish it was syphilis.

1:00:23 > 1:00:25HE SNIGGERS

1:00:28 > 1:00:30- Come on.- Yeah.- Come on!

1:00:30 > 1:00:32- Yeah.- Come on!

1:00:34 > 1:00:36Er, thanks for the drink. I got to go.

1:00:39 > 1:00:41I'll catch you.

1:00:41 > 1:00:42- Mm-hm.- Thanks again.

1:00:46 > 1:00:48Hey, Mick! Mick!

1:00:48 > 1:00:50You want to hear this shit?

1:00:50 > 1:00:55D'you want to hear it? Yes, no, maybe? Well, I'll tell you anyway.

1:00:56 > 1:00:57Come on.

1:00:59 > 1:01:01Melissa.

1:01:01 > 1:01:02Melissa.

1:01:04 > 1:01:08She comes home the other day and she tells me she's got to talk to me right now,

1:01:08 > 1:01:12all this serious, dramatic shit. She accuses me of imagining all this.

1:01:12 > 1:01:15What was the word she used? Er, psychosomatic.

1:01:15 > 1:01:16"We bring things on ourselves."

1:01:16 > 1:01:23So she's a fucking philosopher all of a sudden. Now, I'm thinking, "Where did she pick THAT up?"

1:01:23 > 1:01:25- HE CHUCKLES - I...

1:01:25 > 1:01:28I have no idea, Charlie, but I'm real sorry about it.

1:01:28 > 1:01:30Well, come on, now, Mick.

1:01:30 > 1:01:32You see her every day.

1:01:32 > 1:01:38I'm wondering if someone's been whispering in her ear like a little shit bird.

1:01:38 > 1:01:42Charlie, I got my own fucking problems, OK?

1:01:48 > 1:01:49Hey, Mick!

1:01:51 > 1:01:53Pss, pss, pss, pss, pss.

1:02:27 > 1:02:29Fartlett.

1:02:29 > 1:02:31What the fuck did you just say?

1:02:31 > 1:02:33What? I didn't say anything.

1:02:34 > 1:02:37- You are so fucking lucky you got your brother.- Hey, fuck you.

1:02:37 > 1:02:40Oh, shit! Oh, oh!

1:02:42 > 1:02:46Oh. You f... Get off me! Get off me!

1:02:46 > 1:02:49HE YELLS Ow! Get off me!

1:02:49 > 1:02:52Get off me!

1:02:52 > 1:02:55Oh. Ah! Ah!

1:02:55 > 1:02:57HE YELLS

1:03:08 > 1:03:10- What the hell is this? - Get out of the car right now.

1:03:10 > 1:03:13- Yes, you're going to apologise to this boy.- For what?

1:03:13 > 1:03:16This boy does not have the luxuries you do.

1:03:16 > 1:03:18- He's less fortunate than you. - Still a fucking asshole.

1:03:18 > 1:03:20Scotty, God damn it!

1:03:20 > 1:03:22Ow! When Jimmy came here, he almost killed him.

1:03:22 > 1:03:25- HE didn't have to apologise. - Jimmy beat this boy, too?

1:03:25 > 1:03:29- A long time ago. And you said "fuck" a thousand times last night. - Watch your mouth.

1:03:29 > 1:03:33- "Fuck, fuck, motherfucker."- Stop it! - Oh, yeah, I'm sure you give a shit.

1:03:33 > 1:03:36Fuck you. Fuck Dad. You guys fucking suck, man.

1:03:42 > 1:03:45I'm glad you decided to drop by and see the place.

1:03:47 > 1:03:52When I picked him up from school today, his principal informed me that he's been suspended for a week.

1:03:53 > 1:03:55This O'Leary going to press charges?

1:03:55 > 1:03:58No, no, they're not, uh...

1:03:58 > 1:04:01Mickey, they're not good parents.

1:04:01 > 1:04:03- Well, punish him. You know how. - But I didn't do anything.

1:04:03 > 1:04:06We all need to learn how to take responsibility for our actions.

1:04:06 > 1:04:11- We should at least pay for this boy's medical expenses. - Fine.- He did hit me first.

1:04:11 > 1:04:13- That was months ago.- He called you a nigger-rich savage.

1:04:15 > 1:04:17Fuck him and his medical bills.

1:04:17 > 1:04:22- That was months ago. And what - you've been waiting for the right time to pounce him?- No.

1:04:22 > 1:04:24(Today he called me Fartlett.)

1:04:25 > 1:04:28He called you what?

1:04:28 > 1:04:29Fartlett.

1:04:30 > 1:04:33Scott, Scott,

1:04:33 > 1:04:36you don't think. What did I tell you when I built the site

1:04:36 > 1:04:39about people being jealous? Don't you remember?

1:04:39 > 1:04:40I don't have to fucking listen to you any more.

1:04:40 > 1:04:42Fuck you!

1:04:45 > 1:04:46Mick.

1:04:46 > 1:04:48What is the fucking point?

1:04:48 > 1:04:50You don't need me to punish him.

1:04:50 > 1:04:51No, it's not about that.

1:04:53 > 1:04:56What is it about, then? Some twisted way for you to make me feel bad?

1:04:56 > 1:04:59No. Look, divorced and separated parents

1:04:59 > 1:05:04let their kids get away with murder because they feel guilty that they broke up the home.

1:05:04 > 1:05:07But it's a trap, cos the kids wind up feeling resentful

1:05:07 > 1:05:10and, even worse, on drugs, God knows what else.

1:05:10 > 1:05:12HE CHUCKLES

1:05:12 > 1:05:17I mean, I'm out of the fucking house 18 hours and 45 minutes, and you're Dr Fucking Ruth now?

1:05:17 > 1:05:19She's a sex therapist, Mick.

1:05:19 > 1:05:21And I saw it on Donahue. It is true.

1:05:21 > 1:05:25He's mad because you threw his father out. It's normal.

1:05:25 > 1:05:28Is it normal that now he says he hates his father? Is that normal, too?

1:05:28 > 1:05:32- Then you accomplished what you set out to do.- And what's that? - To pin the whole thing on me.

1:05:34 > 1:05:36Oh.

1:05:36 > 1:05:38Wow.

1:05:39 > 1:05:43I came here for him, and now you're making it all about you.

1:05:43 > 1:05:45Wow.

1:05:59 > 1:06:01She still awake?

1:06:04 > 1:06:05That's good.

1:06:06 > 1:06:08Throw me down one.

1:06:08 > 1:06:10One what?

1:06:10 > 1:06:11The smoke.

1:06:11 > 1:06:13I could see it from my window.

1:06:20 > 1:06:21Since when do you smoke?

1:06:21 > 1:06:24Don't be a tight ass. Throw me one.

1:06:29 > 1:06:32This thing isn't going to light itself, you know.

1:06:39 > 1:06:41These always remind me of my dad...

1:06:45 > 1:06:47..when he was dying of cancer.

1:06:47 > 1:06:49I was your age.

1:06:52 > 1:06:54His dad died from it, too.

1:06:54 > 1:06:57He was so hell-bent that he was going to get it, his nerves were shot.

1:06:57 > 1:07:01The fucking doctors actually told him to smoke.

1:07:02 > 1:07:04Lying in that bed, 80 pounds...

1:07:07 > 1:07:09..stinking up the whole room.

1:07:12 > 1:07:14Ah, what did they know back then, right?

1:07:16 > 1:07:19Hey, come on down. We'll go to Carvel. We'll get a shake.

1:07:19 > 1:07:23No, I'm tired. I have school tomorrow.

1:07:23 > 1:07:24You're suspended.

1:07:24 > 1:07:28Still, Mom will get mad if I go this late.

1:07:28 > 1:07:31It's not even 11 o'clock. Come on down. She'll never know.

1:07:31 > 1:07:33Then I'll be a liar, too.

1:07:38 > 1:07:40I never lied to her, Scott.

1:07:41 > 1:07:43She just never bothered to ask.

1:07:47 > 1:07:51It isn't some state secret that we haven't been getting along - and for a long time, too.

1:07:52 > 1:07:56People do stupid things when they're trying to get something that doesn't fit to fit.

1:07:58 > 1:08:01I don't know what to say to you.

1:08:01 > 1:08:05But I've already lost one kid because of my problems with your mother.

1:08:05 > 1:08:07I don't want to lose the other.

1:08:08 > 1:08:12Well... Well, then why'd you have to fuck her, Dad?

1:08:18 > 1:08:22It's tough to be a man, Scott. You got to make money to put food on the table.

1:08:22 > 1:08:24You got to be a dad to your kids.

1:08:24 > 1:08:28You got to be a husband to your wife. The money part I got. The dad part, I'm batting 500.

1:08:28 > 1:08:29The husband part...

1:08:31 > 1:08:37Then other people come into the picture at the right or the wrong time, and things happen.

1:08:39 > 1:08:40I was unhappy.

1:08:42 > 1:08:46I AM unhappy.

1:08:46 > 1:08:49But I promise you that everything is going to be OK.

1:08:52 > 1:08:55Now, please, come down here

1:08:55 > 1:08:57before fucking Carvel closes.

1:09:01 > 1:09:03I can't.

1:09:30 > 1:09:31Here it is.

1:09:34 > 1:09:38I hope it fits. I mean, you're growing so fast.

1:09:38 > 1:09:40Here, let's put it on.

1:09:40 > 1:09:42Oh, nice.

1:09:44 > 1:09:47Well, it's not exactly a saint's name, but...

1:09:47 > 1:09:49it's too late to change it now, huh?

1:09:49 > 1:09:51So stand up straight.

1:09:51 > 1:09:53Let me look at you.

1:09:55 > 1:09:58- God, you look like a priest.- Mom...

1:09:58 > 1:10:02How about, er, you know, you look like an angel?

1:10:07 > 1:10:08There you go.

1:10:15 > 1:10:17Hey, listen to me, Scott.

1:10:17 > 1:10:18Scott.

1:10:18 > 1:10:21I know you're mad, and that's fine.

1:10:22 > 1:10:23But, er...

1:10:25 > 1:10:27..I have my flaws, too.

1:10:27 > 1:10:29OK, baby?

1:10:36 > 1:10:38Oh, Mickey, the tie.

1:10:38 > 1:10:39Come on over here.

1:10:43 > 1:10:46- I wanted to talk to you...- Oh, sure.

1:10:46 > 1:10:47Have a seat.

1:10:49 > 1:10:50I need to see this.

1:10:52 > 1:10:54You know what I think is funny?

1:10:55 > 1:10:58How they say that today...

1:10:58 > 1:11:01is the actual day you become a man.

1:11:02 > 1:11:05I mean, how do they know that, right?

1:11:05 > 1:11:07It's just a ceremony.

1:11:07 > 1:11:09It doesn't really mean anything literally.

1:11:11 > 1:11:12Well, don't rush it, OK?

1:11:14 > 1:11:16It's not all it's cracked up to be.

1:11:21 > 1:11:26All right, we got to cut this goddamn hair of yours, for crying out loud.

1:11:29 > 1:11:31OK.

1:11:31 > 1:11:33Let's not keep God waiting.

1:11:50 > 1:11:52It's muggy tonight, huh?

1:11:54 > 1:11:56I take it you're not coming.

1:11:58 > 1:12:00Always the party pooper.

1:12:02 > 1:12:04It's all right.

1:12:04 > 1:12:06I'll bring you home some leftovers, huh?

1:13:17 > 1:13:19# Now that you're gone

1:13:19 > 1:13:23# All that's left is a band of gold

1:13:23 > 1:13:28# All that's left of the dreams I hold... #

1:13:28 > 1:13:33You know, I had, er, Donahue on the TV set the other day,

1:13:33 > 1:13:36and they were saying how people who get separated...

1:13:36 > 1:13:41Er, they didn't say what number, but a percentage of them - a good percentage -

1:13:41 > 1:13:43end up...getting back together.

1:13:46 > 1:13:48Could be bullshit. I don't know.

1:13:52 > 1:13:54You, um...

1:13:55 > 1:13:57You want to, er...

1:13:57 > 1:13:59help me make a few of these guys in this room jealous?

1:14:03 > 1:14:04Hi.

1:14:04 > 1:14:07- Nice party.- Yeah, you know my dad.

1:14:07 > 1:14:08Everything's got to be big.

1:14:10 > 1:14:12Come talk to me.

1:14:13 > 1:14:16I got to tell you,

1:14:16 > 1:14:18it's getting awfully lonely over there.

1:14:18 > 1:14:24- You know, I thought maybe tonight, because it's a special occasion, I could, you know...- Mickey...

1:14:25 > 1:14:29You'll always be the father of my children, and I respect that.

1:14:30 > 1:14:32But if you want to spend the night,

1:14:32 > 1:14:35it's going to be on the couch. You got that?

1:14:39 > 1:14:42I'll take it.

1:14:44 > 1:14:46I thought you weren't talking to me.

1:14:46 > 1:14:48I'm on the fence.

1:14:49 > 1:14:54- Well, if it means anything, technically, I'm a man as of today, so...- Please! A man?!

1:14:54 > 1:14:57I heard you're still a bald eagle.

1:14:57 > 1:14:59You know, no pubes.

1:14:59 > 1:15:04- Who said that?- Me. I just made it up and told anybody who'd listen.

1:15:08 > 1:15:11I'm just kidding...jerk.

1:15:12 > 1:15:14Silk?

1:15:14 > 1:15:16Er, I don't know.

1:15:16 > 1:15:18It's nice.

1:15:18 > 1:15:19Can I try it?

1:15:19 > 1:15:21Sure.

1:15:23 > 1:15:26Seems like for ever ago since I had mine.

1:15:26 > 1:15:28So much has changed.

1:15:28 > 1:15:30It was only last year.

1:15:31 > 1:15:33It's different for girls.

1:15:33 > 1:15:34A lot changes in a year.

1:15:35 > 1:15:38Well, you know, a lot changed for me, too.

1:15:41 > 1:15:45You know how I always said I...date older guys?

1:15:46 > 1:15:48Well, it's not true. I mean...

1:15:48 > 1:15:52it's true, but I never let them, you know...

1:15:54 > 1:15:55I'm still a virgin.

1:16:00 > 1:16:02Well, what do you have to say about that?

1:16:04 > 1:16:06Well, so am I.

1:16:08 > 1:16:09Duh.

1:16:20 > 1:16:22Let's go inside.

1:16:26 > 1:16:27Fuck.

1:16:32 > 1:16:34All right, first things first.

1:16:34 > 1:16:39You never apologised for telling your dill-weed friends that you fingered me, you know?

1:16:40 > 1:16:42- I'm sorry.- And, um,

1:16:42 > 1:16:44you're not going to, like,

1:16:44 > 1:16:46use me or whatever, right?

1:16:50 > 1:16:52N-No.

1:17:34 > 1:17:36Are we going to...

1:17:36 > 1:17:38like, do it?

1:17:40 > 1:17:44Do you really think we should talk about it?

1:17:44 > 1:17:45Sorry.

1:18:31 > 1:18:34Oh... What's wrong?

1:18:35 > 1:18:38No, th-that was a good thing.

1:19:00 > 1:19:03Um, could... Could you...help me?

1:20:08 > 1:20:10Hey, hey.

1:20:10 > 1:20:11So...

1:20:13 > 1:20:14..how do you feel?

1:20:14 > 1:20:17I, er...

1:20:17 > 1:20:19Er...

1:20:19 > 1:20:20After last night.

1:20:22 > 1:20:26You can tell me. I mean, you know, do you feel a little differently, er...?

1:20:26 > 1:20:29Cos I know you're a different person.

1:20:31 > 1:20:36Scotty, you're officially a man in the eyes of the Lord.

1:20:40 > 1:20:42I can't take this any more.

1:20:42 > 1:20:45This isn't a marriage.

1:20:45 > 1:20:50Every day, you looked at me in the eye, and you told me that you were going out to find a job.

1:20:50 > 1:20:53What did you do? Play hide and seek down in the basement?

1:20:53 > 1:20:56So you're a 150-pound baby I'm carrying on my back?

1:20:56 > 1:21:01I never knew I could hate anybody as much as I hate you, Charlie.

1:21:02 > 1:21:03Don't ignore me.

1:21:04 > 1:21:08I mean, I don't mind working.

1:21:08 > 1:21:11But if I wanted to be the breadwinner,

1:21:11 > 1:21:14the goddamn man of the house,

1:21:14 > 1:21:18believe me, I wouldn't have picked you to be married to.

1:21:19 > 1:21:22Don't fucking ignore me, Charlie!

1:22:26 > 1:22:28What?

1:22:28 > 1:22:29Nothing.

1:23:33 > 1:23:36MUSIC: "Running Out Of Empty" by The Spaceship Martini

1:26:25 > 1:26:28# Stranded

1:26:28 > 1:26:34# On a desert island

1:26:34 > 1:26:39# Destiny keeps smiling

1:26:39 > 1:26:42# On you and me

1:26:42 > 1:26:46# For flying so high

1:26:46 > 1:26:51# Our wings are melting

1:26:51 > 1:26:56# What a perfect ending

1:26:56 > 1:27:02# To be here with you crashing

1:27:02 > 1:27:07# An emergency landing

1:27:07 > 1:27:12# There's no-one around

1:27:15 > 1:27:19# So we better settle down

1:27:19 > 1:27:23# And make ourselves at home. #

1:27:27 > 1:27:30Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:27:30 > 1:27:33E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk