0:00:07 > 0:00:09WOMAN: Not another wedding.
0:00:10 > 0:00:18Sure, they can be lovely, but when you're a single girl and most of your friends are married,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21let's just say going to weddings can be treacherous.
0:00:21 > 0:00:26I know Courtney and Steve mean well, yet I'm always at the losers' table.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49OK, OK, I'll behave.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Maybe for once the guy they put me next to will be decent.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Weddings - what a joke.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59A beautiful ceremony, wasn't it?
0:00:59 > 0:01:03I couldn't believe they used 'thou shalt obey' in the vows. Who does that?
0:01:03 > 0:01:08Actually, I was, um- I was just making a little small talk.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Great (!) they sat me next to that guy.
0:01:11 > 0:01:16What do you mean 'that guy'?
0:01:12 > 0:01:16Well, I notice you're not wearing a ring and you're, what, mid-30s?
0:01:16 > 0:01:20Uh, late-20s. To early... (quietly) early 30s.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Let me guess - you lease a really nice car you could never buy,
0:01:23 > 0:01:27you never cry in movies and you only bang hot chicks.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29- Have we met? - No.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36They're perfect for each other.
0:01:39 > 0:01:40So, why don't you like weddings?
0:01:40 > 0:01:44It's a silly fairy-tale - marrying the man of your dreams
0:01:44 > 0:01:48and living happily ever after in a gingerbread house
0:01:48 > 0:01:50- nestled in a field of cotton candy. - Yummy.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53- I mean, there's no such thing as soul mates. - So you sleep around?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Sorry, I'm not your type.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57I don't have a type. What makes you think I have a type?
0:01:57 > 0:01:59You ever hear the phrase "the clothes make the man"?
0:01:59 > 0:02:04- Maybe. - Well, look at you.- What?
0:02:04 > 0:02:08You were invited to a formal wedding, but you obviously couldn't afford a tuxedo,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11so you decided you'd get away with a dark suit and matching tie, only you don't own a dark suit,
0:02:11 > 0:02:14just a navy-blue blazer, which judging by the lapels, is about 10 years old?
0:02:14 > 0:02:16Not that you couldn't afford a new one, necessarily,
0:02:16 > 0:02:18but because you also chose not to get it cleaned and pressed,
0:02:18 > 0:02:20I'm guessing you're one of those people that just can't be bothered.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22As long as it still fits right, why get a new one? Am I right?
0:02:22 > 0:02:24Wow. Um, I...
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Which would also explain the jeans and the stain on your shirt. May I?
0:02:27 > 0:02:31- What are you...?- Yeah, just like I thought - a clip-on.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34And I bet you're going commando cos you don't like the boys to be tied up, right?
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- Want me to show you? - Yeah, hey, show the world. Flash.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43You don't know me.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Hi. Can you do me a favour? Would you mind switching seats with me? I don't think she'll attack her own.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52# Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56# Just getting started, and you know it's party time.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59# Come on now # DJ, play a little something...
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Beer, please. Do you know the score in the game?
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Thanks.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Thank you. I really appreciate it.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- You're welcome, Steve. - Congratulations, bud.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Thanks, man.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16You have service?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18May I?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- How do I know you won't call a 900 number?- I won't.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Fine.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Hey, it's Vince. Is the monkey there?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- 'Yeah.' - Oh, how did I do today?
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- 'Not good.' - WHISPERS:- Damn it. What happened?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37Yeah, I know the monkey's looking for me.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- Thank you. - So, how much do you owe?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45I don't know what you're talking about.
0:03:45 > 0:03:51You don't realise how transparent you are. Either you owe money or you're being stalked by a monkey.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54It's not A monkey. It's THE monkey.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57So how much do you owe THE monkey?
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Enough.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03- Congratulations. - Thank you.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06How big a haul would you say they'll take in?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Have you seen the registry? I mean, who needs a 600 towel warmer?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11People say gambling's throwing your money away.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Plus, when I tried to get them something, almost all the gifts had already been bought.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16You should see the pile of gifts she got at the bridal shower.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I bet if you added up over the years, I've spent 20 grand in wedding gifts.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Yeah, yeah, at least.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24I guess, in theory it's like a savings account.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27We're supposed to get that money back one day when we get married.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30We? Like I'd ever marry a guy like you.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Really (?) I was kind of hoping we'd grow old together (!)
0:04:39 > 0:04:44Besides the hernia and the back spasms, I think that went very well.
0:04:44 > 0:04:49- I owe you one. Moving is the biggest drag there is. - So you still scared?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53I have no margin for error. I put all my savings into the down payment. What if I get laid off?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Am I crazy for doing this?
0:04:55 > 0:04:59Look, you've been saving for six years to buy your first place.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04I mean, you'll be fine. As long as you don't buy food or gas or, God forbid, turn on a light.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Ugh. Well, my whole food thing is overrated.
0:05:06 > 0:05:12I'll just really miss this place. Seven years, three boyfriends, four crash diets.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16Ugh. That cabbage and cayenne-pepper thing almost killed me.
0:05:16 > 0:05:17I'll just take one last look around.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19All right, I'll use the little boys' room.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25It's great that you're moving into Courtney and Steve's building.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Yeah, I wouldn't have found the apartment otherwise.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29I meant that they'll be there to help us unload on the other end.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Don't you wish? They're still on their honeymoon.
0:05:32 > 0:05:33ENGINE REVS
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- I'll meet you outside. - OK.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40SHE SIGHS
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Uh, Jennifer? - All right, I'll put it back.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Can I show you something?
0:05:52 > 0:05:53What happened?
0:05:53 > 0:05:57There's a slight possibility that I might have left the keys in the ignition.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01You are no longer my gay boyfriend.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Be the coffee maker. Be the coffee maker.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03The Monkey sends his regards.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Fellas, how sweet. You decided to stop by, huh? A phone call would have sufficed.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Listen, you've got something for him.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11You have to tell the monkey I need some more time.
0:07:11 > 0:07:17Fellas, come on. There's got to be a choice. There's always a choice, right?
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Yeah, like we can leave you in here on the floor in a crumpled mess or out there on the tracks.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23I'll let you decide.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Those are the only choices?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29HE COUGHS
0:07:29 > 0:07:33That's a bad cough, Vince. You might want to get that checked out.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36- Now, we'll be back next week. Either you have the money by then or...?- Yes.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40It'll be monkey business?
0:07:40 > 0:07:44I was just going to say break some bones, but that was way more clever.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46You know, you're smarter than you look.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47You guys are really a cliche, you know that?
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- We are not. - Are too.- We are not.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54- HE COUGHS - Let's get out of here.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Congratulations. - Excuse me?
0:08:22 > 0:08:26I couldn't help but notice. You know, there's an easier way to do that.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Everything is computerised these days, so just choose what you want,
0:08:28 > 0:08:34aim the gun at the barcode and pull the trigger. It's a lot of fun.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38# Oh, yeah Put on the pretty shoes... #
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Wow. This is fun.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47# Oh, yeah fairy-tales come true
0:08:47 > 0:08:50# I feel like a princess girl
0:08:50 > 0:08:55# All the stuff, having fun
0:08:55 > 0:08:59# In the princess world princess world... #
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Here you go.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08You know what they say? It pays to get married.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27- ANSWERPHONE:- 'Hey, it's Courtney. Leave me a message.'
0:09:27 > 0:09:30Hey, Courtney. It's Jennifer. I hope you guys are having a great time on your honeymoon.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34But, listen, um, there was a guy at the wedding. I think his name was Vince.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Well, we were talking and I just have some information for him,
0:09:39 > 0:09:44so no big deal, but, you know, if you could call me back with his number, that'd be great. Thanks.
0:09:48 > 0:09:49Ooh, the monkey guy.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Hi, is, uh... ? Is Monkey there?
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- MAN:- 'It's THE Monkey.
0:09:56 > 0:09:57- What? - 'You heard me.'
0:09:57 > 0:10:00The Monkey? You're the kidding, right?
0:09:58 > 0:10:00No, I'm not kidding.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Oh. Sorry. - Who is this?
0:10:02 > 0:10:07Listen, a guy named Vince called you the other day from my phone, and I really need to talk to him,
0:10:07 > 0:10:11- but I don't have his number. - 'I'll give it to you.' - Oh, that's great. Thanks.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16- You're very THE kind. - What are you, smart? - OK, I won't do it again. I'm sorry.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I have to admit, I was a little surprised you called. I didn't think you liked me.
0:10:19 > 0:10:24- I don't. - Well, I don't like you either. - Great. Lunch?
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Did you put it on a credit card? Maybe the credit-card company insurance will pay for it.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33I checked. The truck is covered, but not what was in it.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38That's too bad. You know, I still don't see what all this has to do with me, though.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40I was thinking about something you said at the wedding
0:10:40 > 0:10:43about how the money we put into wedding gifts is like a savings account.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Well, I really need to make a withdrawal.
0:10:45 > 0:10:51Really, really can't sleep another night on throw pillows. So what I was thinking was...
0:10:51 > 0:10:53- I'm in. - Well, I didn't even...
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I'm in. I love it. It's perfect.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56I'm in. We stage a fake wedding.
0:10:56 > 0:11:02We invite everyone that we know. You register for the stuff you want to replace, I get to keep all the cash.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05It's perfect. I'm in. How long do we have to stay married in order to keep the gifts?
0:11:05 > 0:11:06So you think it's a good idea?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Ooh, you know what else? You could turn all the gifts into cash too.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Take the whole bundle down to the track,
0:11:12 > 0:11:15double and triple our money, furnish your place like a palace.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Check, please.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19Yeah, this won't work. Wedding's off.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23Wow, talk about commitment issues. You're getting cold feet over our pretend wedding.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26PHONE RINGS Hello?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28You're kidding? Where?
0:11:28 > 0:11:32That's great. I'll be right there. Have a nice life.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38What about the money? Your furniture? Our love?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Oh, be the coffee maker. Be the coffee maker.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00So, you're thinking a DJ or a band?
0:12:14 > 0:12:15Oh, here it is.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Invited guests have an obligation to send a gift whether they are attending or not.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Seriously? That is awesome.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24So we need to invite everyone that we know.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28In fact, we should invite everyone that we've ever met, especially the rich ones.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32You know what? I spilled coffee once on Donald Trump.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Why don't we send a couple of invites over to Trump Tower, see what happens?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37- Brilliant (!) - Thank you.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41Just so we're clear - we announce our engagement,
0:12:41 > 0:12:44we send out invitations and then just before the wedding, we call it off.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I keep all the gifts for my apartment, and you keep all the cash to pay off your debt.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49It's perfect. Plus, the girls love a guy who's been left at the altar,
0:12:49 > 0:12:53so I will definitely be seeing some sympathy bow-chicka-wow-wow.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57I just hope people will buy that I've actually lowered my standards this much.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Ha. What does it say in there about calling it off?
0:12:59 > 0:13:03I need to know how long we need to keep this charade up. I really need to pay off the monkey.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Oh no. If the couple calls off their engagement prior to the wedding,
0:13:06 > 0:13:09all gifts must be promptly returned.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13So, wait a minute. What does that mean? That we have to actually go through with it?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Apparently so.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18You and I are broke. We can't afford a wedding.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Yes, we can. We pretend we're planning a wedding,
0:13:21 > 0:13:27but then as the date approaches, we get overwhelmed with the details and have to elope. It's perfect.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29We get the gifts, but without the wedding.
0:13:29 > 0:13:30That could work.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34It will work. All we have to do is convince people that we're in love.
0:13:36 > 0:13:37BOTH: Oh, God.
0:13:39 > 0:13:45No, you know what? We can do this. We just have to make up a story about our whirlwind romance.
0:13:45 > 0:13:50Yeah, like how I swept you off your feet with my dashing good looks.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Or something believable.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52What? Like your effervescent charm?
0:13:52 > 0:13:56No. Like we bonded over something we have in common.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Now, what do we have in common?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- Any ideas? - Not a one.
0:14:10 > 0:14:16Well, guess that's about it. I'm telling you this guy is a real pig.
0:14:16 > 0:14:21I know. This is the first time I've ransacked a place and I left it cleaner than I found it.
0:14:21 > 0:14:22What did we get, anyway?
0:14:22 > 0:14:27Not much. A jar of pennies, a stack of vintage girlie magazines.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30And we'll have to wait until he gets here.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35- What is that? - A dictionary. What's that thing he called us?
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- What do you mean? Cliche? - Yeah, cliche.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Cliche. Cliche.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47C-l-e-e-s-h-a-y.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50I can't find it.
0:14:50 > 0:14:55Look, all I know is he better get here soon.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Cos if I miss Desperate Housewives, he'll be missing a finger.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Where is that boy?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12DOORBELL
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- 'Hello?' - Honey, I'm home.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Did you leave something here, like your pride?
0:15:31 > 0:15:35- Just let me in. - I'm in my pyjamas.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36Ooh, how exciting (!)
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Just let me in or I'm calling off the wedding.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46No. No, no, no, no. That was not part of the deal. You cannot stay here.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- Do you remember the monkey? - Yeah, who could forget?
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Right now there are two gorillas outside my apartment waiting for me.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54You want to become a widow before you ever get your shower gifts?
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Have you ever heard of these things called friends? They come in really handy at times like this.
0:15:57 > 0:16:02I have a lot of friends, thank you very much. I just owe them all money.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Oh, wow, you're living the dream (!)
0:16:02 > 0:16:06It'll be one night. You won't even know I'm here.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11Fine. One night.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14What's with the gloves, Minnie Mouse?
0:16:14 > 0:16:16They're moisturising gloves.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18Right. It's probably a good idea at your age.
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Honey, where are you going?
0:16:34 > 0:16:37To see Jennifer. I told you. She called and asked for Vince's number.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38It's 8am.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41We have been in Fiji for two weeks. I'm sure she's dying to see him.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45- This is no time to be selfish, sweetie. - Uh, a little help?
0:16:47 > 0:16:49How insensitive of me.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I completely forgot...
0:16:51 > 0:16:55her housewarming gift. Thanks, honey.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56DOORBELL
0:17:04 > 0:17:05Jennifer?
0:17:05 > 0:17:08DOORBELL
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Jennifer, someone's at the door.
0:17:14 > 0:17:15DOORBELL
0:17:26 > 0:17:28(Jennifer?)
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Je...
0:17:31 > 0:17:33DOORBELL
0:17:43 > 0:17:45- Hello? - Hello.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Hello.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Vince, I can see you.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56Let me in.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Hey, you're back from, um, your honeymoon, huh?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Just got back. And you're...
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- ..here.- Yeah. Yeah.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18So, uh, what's...? What's new?
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Married.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23What's new with you?
0:18:23 > 0:18:28Oh, not much. I woke up yesterday and my stomach was a little upset.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Vince, you tell me about Jennifer.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- Her stomach's fine. - Stop playing games.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35I mean, it looks like you two really hit it off.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Yeah. Yeah, we did. She's great.
0:18:38 > 0:18:44Great. She, you know, we realised we had... something in common.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46See, I knew it! Jennifer!
0:18:47 > 0:18:52- Is she here? - No. She left.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Oh, she went to work?
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Yes. Yes, she did. Work. That's where she went.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59She's there working at work. At her job.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02That's what she- you know. That's what she does.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05That box looks awfully heavy. Can I take that from you?
0:19:05 > 0:19:10Huh. You know, I would've thought that she would've moved her stuff in by now.
0:19:10 > 0:19:15I know. It's a very long story, actually, one that I'm sure she'll love to tell you herself.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18PHONE RINGS
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Dammit. Um, I have to take this. Can you just give me one moment, please?
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- Hello, Monkey? - 'Monkey here.'
0:19:29 > 0:19:32Monkey? Oh, that is so sweet. Is that Jennifer? Let me talk to her.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35No, no, no, no. This- this is my mom.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41I call her monkey because of her... face.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45It's personal. Can you just give me one moment, please?
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Yeah.- Thank you. Thank you.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Hey, sorry. Yeah, no, I'm with someone.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54I was wondering could I come over personally and talk to you about my plan?
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Yes. Yes. I just got engaged.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05No, no, that is the plan. I'm getting married.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10You're engaged, Vince? I gotta go. I'll see you later.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14No, but this plan'll work.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Excuse me. The white one goes in recycling.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Nice day for a walk.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43- I thought you said walk. - Come on, man,
0:20:43 > 0:20:45you're getting married. You need the exercise.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Besides, it'll thin your face out for the pictures.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51- Did wonders for me. - You do look great.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52Why, thank you, Vince.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- Where are we going? - The Monkey wants to see you.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- He didn't want to send a car? - Monkey's gone green.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Hey, how do you spell 'cliche'?
0:21:06 > 0:21:13What?
0:21:06 > 0:21:09What? You got wax in your ears?
0:21:09 > 0:21:13- How do you spell 'cliche'? - C-l-i-c-h-e.- Show me.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20- Hey, this is, this is my dictionary. - Told you.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22No, it isn't. I bought it at a flea market.
0:21:22 > 0:21:29"To Vince on the occasion of his high-school graduation. I am so proud of you. Love, Mom."
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Coincidence.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Look, just consider it interest on the loan. Now show him.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Right here.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Cliche - a very predictable or un...
0:21:50 > 0:21:54- Unoriginal. - ..unoriginal person or thing.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59- You think I'm predictable? - Yeah, I do.
0:21:59 > 0:22:00What am I going to do now?
0:22:02 > 0:22:03Punch me in the face.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08- Wrong. I'm going to punch you in the shoulder.- Ow!
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Vince, now you'll need some ice on that.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26You think I'm an idiot, don't you?
0:22:26 > 0:22:30I'm just some dumb monkey that'll fall for this stupid scheme.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Look, I'll get your money, OK?
0:22:33 > 0:22:37I've known you for the past, what, five years, Vince?
0:22:37 > 0:22:40- Yeah.- In all that time, I've never seen you have a steady girlfriend.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43You're looser with your women than you are with your money.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45This wedding is different than that. The wedding...
0:22:45 > 0:22:49So excuse me if I just don't buy that you're ready for a life-long commitment,
0:22:49 > 0:22:53which means you're either lying to your girl or you're lying to me.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Or maybe he's lying to both of us.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Jennifer, what...?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59What are you doing here?
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- I thought you were done with this, Vince.- Done with what?
0:23:02 > 0:23:08Done with gambling. You told me you'd never do it again, and here you are being held at gunpoint.
0:23:08 > 0:23:13- I'm sorry. I'm Jennifer. I didn't get your name. - I'm, uh...
0:23:14 > 0:23:16It's Eugene.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18BOTH: Eugene?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22You can call me Monkey.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26Oh, Mr Monkey. We spoke on the phone. You gave me Vince's number, remember?
0:23:26 > 0:23:31- I do.- You have a very nice phone voice.- Thank you.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35Now, how are we supposed to start a life together if I can't trust you?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- How much does he owe? - 15 grand plus interest.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41So, what are we talking about? 8%? Compounding weekly, monthly?
0:23:41 > 0:23:45- I'm not really sure. My accountant kind of handles all- - It really doesn't matter.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48What matters is I'm here, Vince, and I know about your debt and about your philandering past,
0:23:48 > 0:23:55and I'm here to help, OK? But we have to be completely honest with each other.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57No more...no more secrets.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- She's got a point, Vince. - Hey, man, she does. Listen to her.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03She's very supportive.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- OK - That's all you've got to say?
0:24:10 > 0:24:11No more secrets.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16I will never lie to you again. I just wanted to give you that honeymoon in Italy.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Well, I guess our vacation will just have to turn into a stay-cation.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23But, you know, Rome can't compare to our morning cuddles.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26- Oh, I love to spoon, man. - I love pillow talk.
0:24:26 > 0:24:31Well, Mr Monkey, Eugene, I'll talk to you about Vince's debt right after the wedding.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35I've got to get this guy out of here. He's meeting the parents tonight.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Vince, you want me to shoot you now, man?
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Hey, don't make him any more nervous than he already is.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
0:24:45 > 0:24:50I expect an invitation to the wedding, plus two guests.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54- Actually, we were thinking about elope...- Sure. Uh, fish or beef?
0:24:54 > 0:24:55- BOTH: Beef. - Fish for me.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57I'm watching my girlish figure.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Oh, and you've got a month to get this done.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- A month?- I'm not sure it can happen that soon.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06Sometimes you have to book a year in advance just to reserve the space.
0:25:06 > 0:25:11I'm sentimental, but I'm not stupid. One month. And under the circumstances,
0:25:11 > 0:25:12the sweetness clause will be in effect.
0:25:12 > 0:25:17- The sweetness clause? - A technicality. Nothin' to concern-yourself with.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Now, Vince, give this lovely lady a kiss.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23I mean, after all, she did save your life.
0:25:23 > 0:25:27- Actually, we don't believe in public displays of affection. - Yeah. It's tacky.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Yeah, it is. Very much against that.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Well, you'll have to kiss her in front of everyone you know. You might as well start practising.
0:25:37 > 0:25:43Come on. She's your fiancee, not your cousin. Give her a kiss.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Yeah, that's what's up
0:25:54 > 0:25:57That's more like it. You got yourself a good lady, Vince.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02I don't know how you did it, but you did it. It'll be a shame if she was a widow before she got married.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06You got one month. Not a day more.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10Oh, and, Vince, good luck with the in-laws.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Tell them I said hi.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- Hey, Eugene, that was nice. - Monkey.- Yeah.- Monkey.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20What are you doing?
0:26:23 > 0:26:26One month? Everyone'll think I'm pregnant.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30I'm about to get killed by gangsters and that's what you're worried about?
0:26:30 > 0:26:32Look, I take my reputation very seriously.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Trust me, the last thing anyone would call you is loose.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36And what is that supposed to mean?
0:26:36 > 0:26:40We have bigger fish to fry, OK? Like how we can afford the wedding.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Wait a minute, aren't the bride's parents supposed to pay?
0:26:43 > 0:26:47No way. We are not asking my parents to pay for our fake wedding.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50We'll just have to figure something else out. Besides, they're still freaking out that I'm engaged.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53- How did they find out? - Courtney told Lisa,
0:26:53 > 0:26:55who told her mother, who told her podiatrist,
0:26:55 > 0:26:58who told my Aunt Dolly, who told my mother.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00What did they say?
0:27:00 > 0:27:04I think her exact words were, "miracles do happen."
0:27:04 > 0:27:07- CHUCKLES:- They got you pegged.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Listen, my parents aren't the easiest people in the world to get along with,
0:27:10 > 0:27:14so just try not to say anything that's going to tick them off or make them suspicious or...
0:27:14 > 0:27:16let me do all the talking, OK? The less they know about you, the better.
0:27:16 > 0:27:22I see. This really has nothing to do with your parents at all, does it? It has to do with me.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25You don't think your parents will like me, do you?
0:27:25 > 0:27:29- No, I know they won't like you. They'll think I'm crazy. - Oh, please. I'm a catch.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Oh, please. You're like a 30-year-old man-child who has no friends,
0:27:32 > 0:27:36no money in the bank and no apparent ambition. My parents will be so proud (!)
0:27:39 > 0:27:41We'll see.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46HORN TOOTS
0:27:46 > 0:27:50Remember, no talking. You're my mute fiance.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Mom! Hey! There she is!
0:27:54 > 0:27:58Oh, my goodness, I cannot believe this! Forget that. Give me a hug.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02Wow! It is so good to meet you, really. I have heard so much about you, it's ridiculous.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05- Oh my God, show me the ring. Show me the ring!- Oh, the ring?
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Actually, um, Mom, there is no ring.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12- Oh, seriously. Come on, where's the ring? - No, there is no ring.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15Jennifer and I were talking about it,
0:28:15 > 0:28:17and we decided to wait until we can afford to buy the type of ring that she deserves.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20One as beautiful as her spirit, which I can tell she got from her mother.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23- Enough. - Ow. Dad!
0:28:23 > 0:28:27- Hey! - Wow, he is really spirited.- Yeah.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29Sweetie, is that the dress I gave you?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31- Yeah, actually, it is. - Oh, how strange.
0:28:31 > 0:28:35You know, it just looks so different on the hanger.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38It just goes to show you should always try things on, huh?
0:28:41 > 0:28:45That's Jennifer's sister Bonnie's wedding, and that's her husband, Will.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48And these - these are our grandbabies. There's Jonathan and Samantha.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50They're so adorable I just want to grab those pictures and eat 'em.
0:28:50 > 0:28:54- Oh, yeah.- Perhaps we'll have some more grandkids soon.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58- Hmm.- Honey, should you be drinking? - Mom, I told you I'm not pregnant.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02It's crazy. I never knew that Jennifer had a sister.
0:29:02 > 0:29:03BOTH: Oh.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05Wait till you meet her. You'll love her. Everybody does.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08She was voted most popular at Slosson County High School.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10I have that yearbook here somewhere.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13Hon, I'm sure Vince would rather see pictures of Jennifer from high school.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15- Oh, we put those in the attic. - Oh, that's right.
0:29:15 > 0:29:18Here's one of my graduation day from Harvard.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Right. That was a proud day for all of us. Oh, well.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24- Come on, son. Let's eat. You hungry? - Uh, yeah.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27- Got to be a long ride over here. - Yeah, it is was.- Yeah.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34LAUGHTER
0:29:34 > 0:29:37Thank you so much for having me.
0:29:37 > 0:29:41Your home is absolutely gorgeous. I don't think I've ever seen a home so beautiful.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44- Aw. That's so sweet. - Did you pay somebody to decorate it?- No, no.
0:29:44 > 0:29:48- I know you paid somebody. This place looks like a magazine. - A great dinner.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50Amazing. You're one hell of a cook.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52So, Vince, what do you do for a living?
0:29:52 > 0:29:56That is a good question, Dad. What do you do for a living, Vince?
0:29:56 > 0:30:00- You don't know? - Well, I, yeah, I just love to hear him explain it.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05I'm in investment management.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09I analyse risk and reward and weigh them against each other to maximise gain.
0:30:09 > 0:30:13Well, I have a little investment money set aside. Maybe you've got some inside advice for me, Vinnie?
0:30:13 > 0:30:16- I've got a lot of ideas. How much have you got? - Vince, what are you doing?
0:30:16 > 0:30:20- Just trying to help out dad. - What about your family?
0:30:20 > 0:30:22We should have them over for dinner.
0:30:22 > 0:30:27Better yet, why not have us all over to your new place? Oh, we're dying to see it.
0:30:27 > 0:30:32- I don't have a family. - Um, I'm so sorry.
0:30:32 > 0:30:36- I grew up in a foster home. - Oh, Vince. Why didn't you tell us?
0:30:36 > 0:30:39Vince doesn't really like to talk about it.
0:30:39 > 0:30:43Oh, it's OK, sweetheart. We're with family now. There were four other children that lived there too.
0:30:43 > 0:30:49There was, um, Joe, Natalie, Blair and, of course, sweet little Tootie.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52We were guided through the trials of adolescence
0:30:52 > 0:30:56by the tender hand of Mrs Garrett. Well, we always call her Mrs G.
0:30:58 > 0:31:01Now, well, you know, Mrs G always taught us to take the good...
0:31:02 > 0:31:04..and then take the bad...
0:31:04 > 0:31:08and then take them both.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11There you have it.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16- Wow, it's almost like a song. - Yeah?- It sounds like a wise woman.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18- I can't wait to meet her. Does she live in the area?- Who?
0:31:20 > 0:31:22- Oh, my mother. Yes. - Yeah.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26She does. Right outside the city. In the complete opposite direction.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30- Find out when it would be convenient for her. - Mom, I haven't met her yet myself.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Who gets married without meeting the parents?
0:31:32 > 0:31:34LAUGHTER
0:31:36 > 0:31:38I guess we do.
0:31:41 > 0:31:46Oh, listen, when, uh- when you meet Mrs G, you know, don't mention the whole foster home thing.
0:31:46 > 0:31:51She gets extremely sensitive about it cos she always likes to think of me as her real son.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54- Oh, that is so lovely. - Our lips are sealed.- Thanks.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56- Sweetie, would you help me with the dessert?- Ooh.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59Sure, Mom.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03See you in a minute, honey. Whoo!
0:32:05 > 0:32:07FATHER CLEARS THROAT
0:32:12 > 0:32:15I'll tell you, Dad, it's really great to get a sense of where Jennifer comes from.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17Yeah. Is she pregnant? Tell me the truth.
0:32:17 > 0:32:20- No, she isn't. - Damn.
0:32:20 > 0:32:23Why does that girl not hear her clock ticking?
0:32:23 > 0:32:27Everybody else does. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Yeah, it's more like , "Bong! Bong! Bong!"
0:32:29 > 0:32:31You got that right. High five.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35Vince, you seem like a really decent guy,
0:32:35 > 0:32:38and I've got to say, I haven't seen Jennifer this happy in a long time.
0:32:38 > 0:32:41Really? She seems happy to you?
0:32:41 > 0:32:44- Yeah, it's the happiest I've seen her in years.- Wow.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48- Hon, can you come in the kitchen? - The potholder is in the bottom drawer.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52Memory is the first thing to go, after the sex, of course.
0:32:54 > 0:32:58- I can't find 'em.- OK.
0:33:01 > 0:33:05- Now, you two lovebirds try and keep your hands off each other.- OK, Dad.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09Ow. Why do you keep doing that?
0:33:09 > 0:33:13Thanks to you, we have to have our parents over to my completely empty apartment for a meet-and-greet.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16What happens when your mom shows up with your dad?
0:33:16 > 0:33:18You're not going to have to worry about it, because my dad left my mom when I was a kid.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20What? Let me guess, One Day At A Time?
0:33:20 > 0:33:22Your sister was Valerie Bertinelli?
0:33:22 > 0:33:25No, seriously, my dad left me when I was a kid.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28He tried to get back in my life when I was a teenager,
0:33:28 > 0:33:33but it didn't really go over so well, so, um, you know, we haven't really seen each other since.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40Jennifer, we are paying for your wedding.
0:33:40 > 0:33:44- Oh, no, no, no. I said we'd take care...- Honey, let your mother speak.
0:33:44 > 0:33:49- No, no, no. It's out of the question. - Sweetie, be reasonable.
0:33:49 > 0:33:54It's a mother's right to get to do this for her daughter. You cannot deny me this joy.
0:33:54 > 0:33:58- No, I'm sorry, we can't accept your money. - We can't? I think we can.
0:33:58 > 0:34:04In fact, I think we should. How can we deny your mother and your father the joy?
0:34:04 > 0:34:10- Oh.- Fine. - Now, there's just one catch.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14- We spent your wedding funds. - What?
0:34:14 > 0:34:18- We landscaped the backyard. Doesn't it look great? - Whoa, you spent my wedding fund?
0:34:18 > 0:34:21- We thought we had more time. - Don't you worry.
0:34:21 > 0:34:26We'll just move some money around so we can throw you the wedding of your dreams.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29- It'll be our gift to you. - Mm-hm.- Sounds great.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33That's great. All right.
0:34:49 > 0:34:52- I can't do this. - This is too heavy?
0:34:52 > 0:34:56No, I'm talking about my parents. I can't let them pay for our wedding.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59You're giving them joy. Why would you want to hurt their feelings?
0:34:59 > 0:35:02Please. They've been hurting my feelings for years. It's payback.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04I'm sorry. I can't let them pay for our fake wedding.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08- Did they pay for Bonnie's wedding? - Of course.- Was it nice?
0:35:08 > 0:35:13It was OK if you're into that sort of thing - custom Vera Wang dresses, horse-drawn carriages,
0:35:13 > 0:35:15a flock of doves released when they kissed.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17My mom still cries when she talks about it.
0:35:17 > 0:35:22See? They just want to share that same number with you.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23You're good.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26I'm just saying let them pay for the wedding.
0:35:26 > 0:35:32Then when and if you meet Mr Right - it's a big if - you can elope.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Look, we are going to pay them back.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37It's why we're having the wedding. We have no money,
0:35:37 > 0:35:40I have a monkey on my back, and you have an empty apartment.
0:35:40 > 0:35:45We're going to pay them back if it takes 10 years, OK? 50/50, remember? Giving gives you joy.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47I didn't sign up for ten years.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50Well, if you don't like the terms, go find another fake fiancee.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55- Fine. We'll pay them back. - Swear on it.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I swear.
0:36:02 > 0:36:03Oh, my God.
0:36:05 > 0:36:10- Ooh, it's time for Sports Centre. - I'm so looking forward to our divorce.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24KNOCK ON DOOR Yeah?
0:36:24 > 0:36:27- Hey. - What are you doing up?
0:36:27 > 0:36:32I couldn't sleep, so I made myself a little snack. Thought my business partner might like some.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36- Is that tiramisu? - Yeah. My mom's an amazing cook.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38Taught me everything I know.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Well, night.
0:36:45 > 0:36:46Thanks.
0:36:56 > 0:37:00- 'Fox puts it up on the left-hand side of the back board.'- Yes!
0:37:00 > 0:37:02Jen, I can't get over your new place.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04I love what you've done with it.
0:37:04 > 0:37:08- Thanks, Dad. I was going for the sweaty-locker-room feel. - You nailed it.
0:37:08 > 0:37:13Don't worry. We'll go register at Not Just Sofas. All of this will go.
0:37:13 > 0:37:18- So, what are you ladies talking about over here? - Just making plans.
0:37:18 > 0:37:23- Oh. Wow. What is that number right there?- Uh, that is the price per head.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26Is that the price for a real human head?
0:37:26 > 0:37:28Because if not, it's way too expensive.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32Weddings aren't cheap, Vince. Don't worry. Al and I have got it covered.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35Honey, remember our mantra - less food, more seats.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38Listen to that boy. He makes good sense.
0:37:38 > 0:37:43- Sweetie? We're throwing a wedding, not a tailgate party. - We lucked out, Vince.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47The country club had a cancellation for April 25th.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51Can you imagine? Less than a month before the wedding? Poor soul.
0:37:51 > 0:37:57Oh, well, I guess one girl's heartbreak is another girl's special day, hmm?
0:37:57 > 0:38:00So, your first counselling session with Reverend Jim - it's Tuesday night.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03Counselling session?
0:38:03 > 0:38:06You just go in and chat with the Reverend about your relationship
0:38:06 > 0:38:09and the hopes and fears you have about marriage.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12Oh, a lot of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo if you ask me.
0:38:13 > 0:38:14What will we talk about?
0:38:14 > 0:38:17Mom, remember I told you Vince is not very religious.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Do you think maybe Reverend Jim would make an exception?
0:38:20 > 0:38:23He will not perform the ceremony unless you go through counselling.
0:38:23 > 0:38:28Just say, "yes, dear". It's two of the most important words to a successful marriage.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30Yes, dear.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33Honey, have you thought about colours? Cos I'm thinking teal, huh?
0:38:33 > 0:38:36It's one of those few colours that doesn't wash you out.
0:38:36 > 0:38:37DOORBELL RINGS
0:38:37 > 0:38:38There she is.
0:38:41 > 0:38:42Hi, Mom.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45Look at you. Give me a hug.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48Oh, you're just so huggable.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51I'm sorry, honey. I would've been here sooner, but I got lost.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54I always get lost in a full moon. So, introduce me.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57- Hi.- Uh, everybody, this is my mother, Catherine.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59Mom, these are Jennifer's parents. This is Val.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03Oh, it is so good to meet you.
0:39:05 > 0:39:10Oh... You smell wonderful. Like saffron.
0:39:10 > 0:39:15- Thank you. - And that is Al.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17Al.
0:39:17 > 0:39:18Oh.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21So, can we call you Mrs G?
0:39:21 > 0:39:24- Uh, actually, I don't... - Well, you can call me whatever moves you.
0:39:25 > 0:39:28And you must be Jennifer.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Oh! Oh.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37I am sure that you hear this all the time,
0:39:37 > 0:39:39but you have the most beautiful aura.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42Actually, that's a first.
0:39:42 > 0:39:47Well, it's true. It's purple and orange and swirls of magenta.
0:39:47 > 0:39:51I can tell that you are a very passionate lover. Good work, son.
0:39:51 > 0:39:55Oh, let me see the two of you together. Click.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58Now I have an announcement to make.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01I'm sure that Vince has told you a little bit about our family.
0:40:01 > 0:40:05He did. I hope someday we get to meet that Tootie.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08- Who?- Mom, you and I should talk about this in private.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10It's OK, honey. These people are family now.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13As you know, Vince's father abandoned us
0:40:13 > 0:40:16to pursue his dream of selfish isolation.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19You've got to have goals.
0:40:19 > 0:40:24Luckily, my son is an Aries with a Saturn rising, so he perseveres.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27But a few days ago, out of the blue, his father called.
0:40:27 > 0:40:31It seems that he's having regrets about some of the decisions that he made.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35And when I told him about Vince's wedding, he offered to pay for half of it.
0:40:35 > 0:40:39- Well, that's fantastic. - No. We can't let him pay.
0:40:39 > 0:40:44We can't? I think we can. I think we should. I mean, how can we deny him that joy?
0:40:45 > 0:40:46I'm not letting him pay.
0:40:51 > 0:40:55See? Now this is the perfect thing to talk about with Reverend Jim.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57Who's Tootie?
0:40:58 > 0:41:01CHURCH BELLS CHIME
0:41:06 > 0:41:09OK, well, that wasn't so bad. Can I just say one more thing?
0:41:09 > 0:41:11Sure. Express yourself.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13He refuses to go see his dad.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16You know, it's clear he has abandonment issues,
0:41:16 > 0:41:19but I just feel that rather than avoiding them, he should confront them head-on.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22It would really help with his personal growth.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25She's the one who's still desperately searching for approval from her parents,
0:41:25 > 0:41:28so I really wish she would leave my personal growth out of this.
0:41:28 > 0:41:32Vince, don't you see why Jennifer is concerned with your relationship with your father?
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Yeah, because she wants him to pay for half of the wedding.
0:41:34 > 0:41:37I'm sure that Jennifer is more concerned with how you bring these feelings
0:41:37 > 0:41:40into your role as father to your own children. Isn't that right, Jennifer?
0:41:40 > 0:41:43No, I want his father to pay for half.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47Oh, I see.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47You with me?
0:41:48 > 0:41:49HE MOUTHS
0:41:49 > 0:41:54It doesn't take Dr Phil to see that your father is somehow the root of your gambling problem.
0:41:54 > 0:41:57Gambling problem?
0:41:55 > 0:41:57I do not have a gambling problem.
0:41:57 > 0:42:01Oh, come on. I would say owing 15,000 to a bookie named The monkey
0:42:01 > 0:42:05who's gonna have you killed unless you pay him - I would say that's a pretty big problem.
0:42:05 > 0:42:08Vince, you owe 15,000 to a bookie?
0:42:07 > 0:42:08Named The Monkey.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11Who's gonna have him killed if he doesn't pay - I got that part. Is it true?
0:42:11 > 0:42:14No. It is not true. I do not owe 15,000.
0:42:15 > 0:42:19What?
0:42:16 > 0:42:19It's 20,000. Ah, didn't see that one coming now, did you?
0:42:19 > 0:42:23No, I didn't. You owe another 5,000?
0:42:23 > 0:42:29No, not exactly. Remember what The Monkey was talking to us about at the zoo? The sweetness clause?
0:42:29 > 0:42:30It's like a service charge.
0:42:30 > 0:42:35For those special occasions when The Monkey shows just how sweet of a guy he can be.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Jennifer, tell Vince how this makes you feel.
0:42:37 > 0:42:42I feel like I cannot wait for this to be over so I never have to see you again.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44Don't expect a Christmas card from me either, sweetie.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47I'm not even sure you know how to write.
0:42:45 > 0:42:47OK. I think we're done here.
0:42:47 > 0:42:51Yeah.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Hold on. I'm confused. Are we calling the wedding off?
0:42:51 > 0:42:52BOTH: No way.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05Oh, good. You're home.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Mom, those keys are for emergencies only.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09This is an emergency.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11The wedding is off.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14BOTH: What?
0:43:12 > 0:43:14Your father played golf this morning with Reverend Jim.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18He told me about your little gambling problem.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18I don't have a gambling problem.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25I'm sorry, son. I'm not letting my daughter marry an addicted gambler.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27I thought it was supposed to be confidential.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Oh, Reverend Jim is a terrible gossip. Thank God we're not catholic.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32That man could never handle confessions.
0:43:32 > 0:43:36Vince, we feel for your predicament. We think you're a good guy,
0:43:36 > 0:43:41but we've got to look out for Jennifer. She hasn't always made the best choices when it comes to men.
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Excuse me?
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Remember Bobby Sherwood, the gum-in-hair incident?
0:43:44 > 0:43:48Uh, that was junior high.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48Just saying it's a pattern.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52I'm sorry. We can't support this wedding.
0:43:52 > 0:43:53I see.
0:43:53 > 0:43:58Mom, Dad, I'm ashamed of you. Marriage isn't only for the good times.
0:43:59 > 0:44:03Mom, did you leave Dad when he had that awful toenail fungus?
0:44:02 > 0:44:03No.
0:44:03 > 0:44:08Dad, did you leave mom when she gave herself that bad home perm and was bald for a year?
0:44:08 > 0:44:12No.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12And I'm not leaving Vince in his time of need, either.
0:44:12 > 0:44:17Thanks.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17Besides, the catering deposit is non-refundable.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20It is?
0:44:18 > 0:44:20Won't get a dime back.
0:44:19 > 0:44:20Can they do that?
0:44:20 > 0:44:21BOTH: Yes.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24And on top of all that,
0:44:25 > 0:44:30Vince has agreed to go to Gamblers Anonymous.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30Oh!
0:44:30 > 0:44:33What?
0:44:32 > 0:44:33You can beat this, son.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36EMOTIONALLY: I am so proud of you.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41Hi, I'm, uh, Vince, and, uh, I'm a gambler.
0:44:42 > 0:44:43ALL: Hi, Vince.
0:44:49 > 0:44:50Still me?
0:44:52 > 0:44:56Well, um, what can I say? Um...
0:45:00 > 0:45:02You got to know when to hold 'em.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07Know...when to fold 'em.
0:45:10 > 0:45:11Thank you.
0:45:11 > 0:45:13APPLAUSE
0:45:16 > 0:45:19That felt good.
0:45:18 > 0:45:19Crazy, huh?
0:45:19 > 0:45:23Yeah. You've known this guy, what, a month? You sure you're not preggo?
0:45:23 > 0:45:28I mean, I'm sure we can find something with an empire waist.
0:45:27 > 0:45:28No, I'm not preggo.
0:45:28 > 0:45:34When am I going to meet this Vince? Wait a minute, why haven't I met Vince? Has the family met him?
0:45:34 > 0:45:38Everyone but Bonnie. Courtney, what do you think of this one?
0:45:38 > 0:45:41Sorry, what?
0:45:38 > 0:45:41What do you think?
0:45:39 > 0:45:41This one's my favourite.
0:45:41 > 0:45:42BOTH LAUGH
0:45:45 > 0:45:48Hi, my name is Ben, and I'm a gambling addict.
0:45:47 > 0:45:48ALL: Hi, Ben.
0:45:49 > 0:45:49What's up?
0:45:49 > 0:45:53Horses were my thing. I spent more time at the track than I did with my family.
0:45:53 > 0:45:59Ugh, I hear you.
0:45:54 > 0:45:59And at my lowest point, I was over 300,000 in debt.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03Thanks to these meetings, I've been able to control my addictions,
0:46:03 > 0:46:06and I haven't placed a bet in over five years.
0:46:05 > 0:46:06APPLAUSE
0:46:07 > 0:46:08Way to go.
0:46:09 > 0:46:14In fact, I just took my company public.
0:46:14 > 0:46:19Who would've ever thought I would be a multimillionaire? I mean, thanks.
0:46:18 > 0:46:19Very good.
0:46:22 > 0:46:26Ben shows us what is possible when we work the programme.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29I had a feeling you two would hit it off.
0:46:28 > 0:46:29Really? Why?
0:46:30 > 0:46:34Because I know you, and I know how important loyalty is to you.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36And Steve told me that out of all his friends,
0:46:36 > 0:46:40Vince is the one guy that he could always count on 24-7.
0:46:40 > 0:46:46How is he with his mother? That says a lot about how he'd be with you.
0:46:44 > 0:46:46Well, he's wonderful with her.
0:46:46 > 0:46:49And you said that he gets along with your parents?
0:46:48 > 0:46:49Strangely, yes.
0:46:50 > 0:46:54Well, then he must really love you.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54Forget the parents. How is he at the horizontal hokey-pokey?
0:46:54 > 0:46:56You guys.
0:46:55 > 0:46:56Yeah, David, so rude.
0:46:58 > 0:47:03But can we talk about his body?
0:46:59 > 0:47:03Seriously, he has ab muscles I didn't know existed.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Oh, my God, you're blushing.
0:47:05 > 0:47:10No, I'm not.
0:47:06 > 0:47:10Yes, you are. I'm not sure I've ever even seen you blush before.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12Aw.
0:47:11 > 0:47:12Cute.
0:47:15 > 0:47:19Ben, hey.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19Hey.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19Vince. Hi. I spoke a little earlier.
0:47:19 > 0:47:20I remember.
0:47:20 > 0:47:28Yeah. Um, listen, your story saved my life tonight, and, uh, I was just wondering...
0:47:28 > 0:47:31If I'd be your sponsor? Sure. Absolutely.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33Actually, if you'd come to my wedding.
0:47:33 > 0:47:35But we just met.
0:47:34 > 0:47:35I know. I know.
0:47:36 > 0:47:41It's just that you've been such a wealth...of inspiration to me, Ben.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44If you could write down your name and address, I would love to send you an invitation.
0:47:44 > 0:47:47Sure. Um...
0:47:46 > 0:47:47Paper.
0:47:47 > 0:47:51Pen.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51Sure, appreciate it.
0:47:50 > 0:47:51Thank you.
0:47:53 > 0:47:55That's great.
0:47:54 > 0:47:55Here you go.
0:47:54 > 0:47:55Thank you. Thanks.
0:47:55 > 0:47:56Thank you.
0:47:56 > 0:47:56See you soon.
0:47:56 > 0:47:57You got it.
0:47:57 > 0:47:57OK.
0:47:57 > 0:48:02I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhearing. You're not really getting married, are you?
0:48:02 > 0:48:06Why do you ask?
0:48:03 > 0:48:06It's just that you don't seem like the marrying type.
0:48:06 > 0:48:12A lot of people keep saying that. Well, I guess I am the type, because, yes, I am getting married.
0:48:12 > 0:48:13Too bad.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19But not for several weeks.
0:48:20 > 0:48:24I know we're not supposed to gamble any more.
0:48:22 > 0:48:24That's my understanding too.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27That doesn't rule out all risky behaviour, does it?
0:48:27 > 0:48:30What did you have in mind?
0:48:28 > 0:48:30Buy a girl a drink?
0:48:34 > 0:48:36Maybe just one.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41# The perfect fit
0:48:41 > 0:48:43# Just how you like it
0:48:43 > 0:48:44# Ooh, it's up to you
0:48:45 > 0:48:47# You know it's right, yeah
0:48:47 > 0:48:48# The perfect fit
0:48:48 > 0:48:50# You've got it
0:48:50 > 0:48:51# Mm
0:48:51 > 0:48:53# It's up to you
0:48:53 > 0:48:55# How it makes you feel feel inside
0:48:55 > 0:48:56# Yeah, yeah
0:48:56 > 0:48:59# Search high and low for just the right match
0:49:02 > 0:49:03# Yeah
0:49:04 > 0:49:09# Only you really know what you need to have
0:49:09 > 0:49:11# Ooh
0:49:11 > 0:49:12# The perfect fit. #
0:49:13 > 0:49:15That bad?
0:49:14 > 0:49:15You look amazing.
0:49:15 > 0:49:17Where was that one when I was looking?
0:49:17 > 0:49:19# The perfect fit
0:49:19 > 0:49:21# Just know it's right
0:49:21 > 0:49:22# Yeah, the perfect fit. #
0:49:22 > 0:49:29So, she's a real spitfire, I'll tell you that. She does not make it easy.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29Well, relationships never are.
0:49:30 > 0:49:36There is something kind of cool about her, something that just, I don't know, sneaks up on you.
0:49:36 > 0:49:41That's great. Well, this is my stop.
0:49:41 > 0:49:46Be careful getting off.
0:49:45 > 0:49:46That'll be up to you.
0:50:04 > 0:50:09Well, Mr Gambling Man, of the marrying type, just how much risk are you willing to take?
0:50:10 > 0:50:11LIFT BELL DINGS
0:50:49 > 0:50:51Hey.
0:50:50 > 0:50:51Hey there, Bridezilla.
0:50:52 > 0:50:56What are you doing?
0:50:53 > 0:50:56I made us a lasagne so that we can celebrate.
0:50:56 > 0:51:00Celebrate?
0:50:57 > 0:51:00Yeah, we got our first official wedding gifts today.
0:51:00 > 0:51:05You are now the proud owner of a cupcake carrier and a cheque for 100 bucks.
0:51:05 > 0:51:10Awesome.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10Oh, hey, um, sorry about last night.
0:51:09 > 0:51:10Last night?
0:51:11 > 0:51:13I should've called and let you know I wasn't going to come home.
0:51:13 > 0:51:19Oh, did you not come back? I didn't notice.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19Oh. OK, well, good.
0:51:19 > 0:51:23And we're just fake fiances, Vince, remember? It's not like we're really in love.
0:51:23 > 0:51:24I got it.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29At some point we're going to have to talk about our vows.
0:51:29 > 0:51:30Don't we just repeat what the reverend says?
0:51:30 > 0:51:33Ugh, church vows are so cold and impersonal.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36Yeah, I'd hate for our fake vows at our fake wedding to not be from the heart.
0:51:36 > 0:51:39All of my family are friends are gonna be there.
0:51:39 > 0:51:42If the vows are gonna be fake, I'd still like for them to be impressive.
0:51:42 > 0:51:43Can't you just read a poem or something?
0:51:43 > 0:51:47You know what? Never mind. I'll write your vows for you. You don't have to worry about it.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50What about your vows?
0:51:48 > 0:51:50What do you mean?
0:51:50 > 0:51:55You get to write exactly what you want me to say. What about what you're going to say to me?
0:51:55 > 0:51:56I thought I'd just read a poem or something.
0:51:56 > 0:51:59No, I don't think so. You know what? I'm gonna write your vows.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01Fine.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01Can I get a piece of paper?
0:52:02 > 0:52:05Got an extra pen?
0:52:04 > 0:52:05What is that?
0:52:06 > 0:52:07It's a pen.
0:52:11 > 0:52:12OK.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE
0:52:20 > 0:52:22What do you have so far?
0:52:23 > 0:52:27"Jennifer, I don't know how loving a person could be until I met you."
0:52:27 > 0:52:30HE LAUGHS
0:52:29 > 0:52:30What?
0:52:30 > 0:52:33I just sound like such a loser.
0:52:32 > 0:52:33You are a loser.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35I don't think I could read that with a straight face.
0:52:35 > 0:52:37Well, I don't know if you can even read, period.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40You know what? Enjoy the lasagne. I've lost my appetite.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43Maybe you left it where you were last night.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45So now I'm supposed to check with you, my fake fiance.
0:52:45 > 0:52:48No, because that would be considerate, something you know nothing about.
0:52:48 > 0:52:53Well, for your information, I walked someone home last night, and then I slept at my mom's.
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Why? I have no idea.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:52:58 > 0:52:59Hello?
0:53:00 > 0:53:03Oh, my God. OK, I'll be right there.
0:53:02 > 0:53:03What happened?
0:53:03 > 0:53:06My sister's in the hospital. She had a car accident.
0:53:09 > 0:53:12- GIRL:- Jennifer!
0:53:10 > 0:53:12Hey, guys.
0:53:13 > 0:53:14Hey.
0:53:15 > 0:53:19Where are Grandma and Grandpa?
0:53:16 > 0:53:19Inside with Mom and Dad.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19They won't let us see Mommy.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21They didn't want Samantha to get scared. I have to stay with her.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25You guys are gonna be OK out here by yourselves for a little while?
0:53:24 > 0:53:25Yep. I'm in charge.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27OK, I'll be right back, OK?
0:53:29 > 0:53:32Who's he?
0:53:31 > 0:53:32Some guy.
0:53:40 > 0:53:44Bonnie? I'm sorry, hon. I'm so sorry.
0:53:45 > 0:53:49Look, I know our relationship has been rocky.
0:53:51 > 0:53:52What can I say?
0:53:54 > 0:53:55Here's what I can say.
0:53:57 > 0:54:03You're my little sister, so I didn't expect you to get married first. But you did,
0:54:03 > 0:54:05and I had to deal with that.
0:54:06 > 0:54:13And then Jonathan and Samantha came along, and you guys were like the picture-perfect family.
0:54:13 > 0:54:20And Mom and Dad wanted to spend all their time with you guys, and I just... I felt like an outsider.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23And I admit I was jealous. I'm still jealous.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28But if you could just pull through,
0:54:28 > 0:54:31I promise I'll put all that behind me.
0:54:33 > 0:54:39In fact, I was thinking you'd make a pretty good maid of honour.
0:54:39 > 0:54:40All you had to do was ask.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42RECORD TRACK WHIRRS DOWN
0:54:48 > 0:54:49Feel better.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Mom said you were hit by a truck.
0:54:52 > 0:54:56Mom!
0:54:53 > 0:54:56Those weren't the exact words I used.
0:54:56 > 0:55:00No, I was getting some of the kids' stuff out of the attic to give to Goodwill,
0:55:00 > 0:55:06and I accidentally stepped on a TOY TRUCK near the stairs.
0:55:04 > 0:55:06Thank God you're OK.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10So, I guess you heard all that, huh?
0:55:11 > 0:55:12Yeah.
0:55:14 > 0:55:15I love you.
0:55:16 > 0:55:20I love you too.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20Come here. Give me a hug.
0:55:21 > 0:55:22BOTH SNIFF
0:55:23 > 0:55:26Hope you guys aren't the type of kids who are used to the adults letting you win all the time.
0:55:26 > 0:55:33It's not gonna be that way tonight. Oh, no, tonight this game is on. It's on like a night light.
0:55:33 > 0:55:34Let's go.
0:55:35 > 0:55:36ROCK MUSIC PLAYS
0:55:37 > 0:55:39# We're gonna rock it not gonna stop it
0:55:45 > 0:55:46# Yeah, yeah. #
0:55:46 > 0:55:47Whoo-hoo-hoo!
0:55:47 > 0:55:48# Go, go. #
0:55:48 > 0:55:50Get rid of this guy! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Parade around your leader!
0:55:56 > 0:55:58LAUGHTER
0:56:00 > 0:56:01# Yeah, yeah
0:56:02 > 0:56:04# Go, go, go
0:56:04 > 0:56:05# Yeah, yeah. #
0:56:05 > 0:56:07He's angry. He's angry.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09# Go, go. #
0:56:09 > 0:56:10He's turning into a monster.
0:56:11 > 0:56:15OK. Now visiting hours are over. Your dad's gonna stay here tonight,
0:56:15 > 0:56:17so you kids get to come home with us.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20Come on.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20Unless you guys want to come back to our place with us tonight.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23BOTH: Yeah!
0:56:20 > 0:56:23Whoo! That's what I thought!
0:56:24 > 0:56:25HE MOUTHS
0:56:25 > 0:56:28OK, good job. Good game.
0:56:53 > 0:56:56So, uh, I guess I'll just sleep in here tonight.
0:56:58 > 0:57:04Hey, Vince, how's your stamina?
0:57:01 > 0:57:04Never had any complaints.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04And how's your lung capacity?
0:57:06 > 0:57:08Fantastic.
0:57:08 > 0:57:12Great. Then you'll have no problem blowing up the bed.
0:57:13 > 0:57:14Good night.
0:57:19 > 0:57:21MONKEYS CHATTER
0:57:27 > 0:57:28SEGWAYS WHIR
0:57:32 > 0:57:35What's up, boss?
0:57:33 > 0:57:35What have you got for me?
0:57:34 > 0:57:35From the pizza man.
0:57:38 > 0:57:39Bam.
0:57:42 > 0:57:43Not bad.
0:57:46 > 0:57:47Oh!
0:57:47 > 0:57:52What is this?
0:57:49 > 0:57:52He only came up with half the cash.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52So we took half his finger.
0:57:53 > 0:57:56What else?
0:57:54 > 0:57:56We paid Vince a visit like you asked.
0:57:56 > 0:57:57And?
0:58:02 > 0:58:06They went with the hydrangeas for the centrepieces.
0:58:04 > 0:58:06And wisteria for the bouquet.
0:58:07 > 0:58:10Nosegay or cascade?
0:58:09 > 0:58:10I forgot to ask.
0:58:12 > 0:58:14Well, go and find out.
0:58:15 > 0:58:19Pay attention to detail, Truck.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19- MOCKING:- Pay attention to detail, Truck.
0:58:21 > 0:58:22GAME WHIRS
0:58:22 > 0:58:29Come on. You take this one. I've got to tell you something, kid. You're pretty good at this thing.
0:58:29 > 0:58:32I know.
0:58:30 > 0:58:32Hey, no more video games. It's time for bed.
0:58:32 > 0:58:34Oh, come on. Just one more game, Aunt Jen?
0:58:34 > 0:58:40Yeah, I'm really behind here.
0:58:35 > 0:58:40I said yes one game ago. Now get in that bed- well, chair, little man.
0:58:40 > 0:58:41All right. Let's do it.
0:58:42 > 0:58:43Get in there.
0:58:44 > 0:58:46All right, night, buddy.
0:58:48 > 0:58:52Aren't you going to tuck me in?
0:58:50 > 0:58:52You... Yeah. Uh, sure.
0:58:52 > 0:58:58Why not? Um, but be warned, this will be my first official tucking, all right?
0:59:00 > 0:59:02There you go. Night-night.
0:59:03 > 0:59:08Uncle Vince?
0:59:04 > 0:59:08Yeah?
0:59:06 > 0:59:08Are we going home soon?
0:59:08 > 0:59:10Oh, you didn't hear? Your mother called earlier,
0:59:10 > 0:59:15and she said that you guys get to stay with us forever.
0:59:14 > 0:59:15No! I want to go home!
0:59:15 > 0:59:21Hey! Calm down. Inside voice.
0:59:17 > 0:59:21What? What happened?
0:59:18 > 0:59:21Um, I think I broke him.
0:59:21 > 0:59:24Jonathan, tell Aunt Jen what's wrong?
0:59:24 > 0:59:27Uncle Vince said Mommy left us here forever.
0:59:27 > 0:59:28It was a joke.
0:59:29 > 0:59:32Uncle Vince was just trying to be funny.
0:59:31 > 0:59:32But he's not funny.
0:59:32 > 0:59:37Yeah, tell me about it.
0:59:34 > 0:59:37Hey, do you have any favourite night-time stories?
0:59:37 > 0:59:40Hmm. um, Peter Pan.
0:59:40 > 0:59:44Oh, really? I don't think I know that one. Can you...? Can you tell it to me?
0:59:44 > 0:59:48OK, well, it's about this kid named Peter Pan.
0:59:46 > 0:59:48Oh, I like it already.
0:59:48 > 0:59:52And also there's this girl, Wendy, and this fairy, Tinker Bell,
0:59:52 > 0:59:57and this pirate that has a hook instead of a hand.
0:59:55 > 0:59:57Oh, really? What else?
0:59:57 > 1:00:03Well, Peter Pan takes Wendy and her brothers off to Neverland, and they go on an adventure...
1:00:07 > 1:00:09HE BLOWS
1:00:12 > 1:00:17I'm sorry you've had to sleep on that air mattress this whole time.
1:00:15 > 1:00:17That's all right. It's fine.
1:00:17 > 1:00:21Well, you haven't complained once. It's almost like you're a real adult.
1:00:21 > 1:00:24That's the worst thing that anyone has ever told me.
1:00:28 > 1:00:29Good night, Vince.
1:00:30 > 1:00:32Night, Jennifer.
1:00:33 > 1:00:34BED SQUEAKS
1:00:36 > 1:00:37LEAK HISSES
1:00:39 > 1:00:43I think you've sprung a leak.
1:00:41 > 1:00:43It's a slow leak. I'll be fine.
1:00:45 > 1:00:47HISSING CONTINUES
1:00:48 > 1:00:50I guess you could sleep up here.
1:00:52 > 1:00:54Wouldn't that be weird?
1:00:54 > 1:00:56Just stay on top of the covers.
1:01:11 > 1:01:12Night.
1:01:45 > 1:01:47Wait. What are we doing?
1:01:47 > 1:01:50Have you never done this before?
1:01:50 > 1:01:51Shut up.
1:01:55 > 1:01:57KNOCK AT DOOR
1:01:56 > 1:01:57Who is it?
1:02:00 > 1:02:04I don't feel so good.
1:02:01 > 1:02:04What's the matter, sweetie?
1:02:03 > 1:02:04I have a tummy...
1:02:05 > 1:02:06SHE VOMITS
1:02:12 > 1:02:13You feel better now?
1:02:13 > 1:02:18Come on. Uncle Vince will clean you up, all right?
1:02:16 > 1:02:18I want Aunt Jennifer to do it.
1:02:19 > 1:02:22You do? Oh, come here. Let Aunt Jen take care of you.
1:02:29 > 1:02:31I knew I should've worn my slippers.
1:02:32 > 1:02:33SQUELCHING
1:03:10 > 1:03:11Uncle Vince?
1:03:11 > 1:03:12Uncle Vince?
1:03:16 > 1:03:18Yeah, buddy?
1:03:17 > 1:03:18Where's Samantha?
1:03:18 > 1:03:23Um, she's sleeping with your Aunt Jennifer. She's not feeling too good.
1:03:25 > 1:03:28It's been a, uh, a very interesting night, little man.
1:03:30 > 1:03:31What happened?
1:03:33 > 1:03:37One day I'll tell you all about it, all right? Maybe when you're in college.
1:03:37 > 1:03:41I'm not going to college. Neither is Samantha.
1:03:40 > 1:03:41Why not?
1:03:41 > 1:03:46I heard Grandpa say they're gonna use our college fund to pay for your wedding.
1:03:46 > 1:03:47They said that?
1:03:49 > 1:03:50Night.
1:03:58 > 1:04:00PEOPLE CHATTER, SIREN WAILS
1:04:09 > 1:04:10Dad.
1:04:12 > 1:04:13Hey.
1:04:14 > 1:04:17Vince? How the hell did you know where to find me?
1:04:18 > 1:04:21It's where Mom always came when she needed to find you, usually with me in tow.
1:04:21 > 1:04:23And you remember that?
1:04:24 > 1:04:26Not much else to remember, Dad.
1:04:27 > 1:04:29Well, it's good to see you too.
1:04:31 > 1:04:34Can I buy you a beer or...
1:04:32 > 1:04:34No. I just came here to take care of business.
1:04:34 > 1:04:38Oh, come on. Stick around awhile, place a couple of bets.
1:04:38 > 1:04:44I'm giving it up. It was a nasty habit. I'm gonna be breaking the cycle, I think.
1:04:44 > 1:04:47So you're just here for the money?
1:04:48 > 1:04:50I don't know what I'm here for. Maybe this was a mistake.
1:04:49 > 1:04:50Vince.
1:04:51 > 1:04:55Look, I know that life was tough for you, and I'm sorry about that.
1:04:57 > 1:05:00I realise I'm never gonna be father of the year.
1:05:00 > 1:05:01I would've settled for just a father.
1:05:05 > 1:05:11I hit it pretty big at the track last year. It's the big payoff I've always been waiting for.
1:05:12 > 1:05:17But after the excitement wore off, I realised I don't have anybody to celebrate with.
1:05:17 > 1:05:20Guess that's what happens when this place is your home, Dad.
1:05:20 > 1:05:25I'm trying to make amends, son. I'd like a second chance. I know that I don't deserve one.
1:05:25 > 1:05:26You don't.
1:05:28 > 1:05:30All right. All right.
1:05:32 > 1:05:34I'm proud of you, Vince.
1:05:35 > 1:05:39Falling in love, getting married,
1:05:39 > 1:05:41creating a family, it's...
1:05:41 > 1:05:42Hell, I envy you.
1:05:45 > 1:05:47I gambled away the love of my life
1:05:49 > 1:05:51and my relationship with you.
1:05:55 > 1:05:57That is my biggest regret.
1:06:03 > 1:06:06I'll find another way to get the money.
1:06:04 > 1:06:06Vince, come on.
1:06:06 > 1:06:08Please. Please.
1:06:10 > 1:06:12Let me do this much, all right?
1:06:21 > 1:06:25The wedding's next Saturday 2pm at Peat St Christian.
1:06:36 > 1:06:41Say goodbye to your aunt Jen-Jen and don't forget to say thank you.
1:06:39 > 1:06:41But where's Uncle Vince?
1:06:41 > 1:06:43Hey! Where do you think I am, buddy?
1:06:43 > 1:06:45Hey! Oh! What the heck, man?
1:06:45 > 1:06:50You were going to leave without saying goodbye after all we've been through? Come on.
1:06:50 > 1:06:52It's from my father.
1:06:57 > 1:06:58Are you OK?
1:07:00 > 1:07:01I will be.
1:07:02 > 1:07:07Sorry, kid. Looks like you're going to be going to college after all.
1:07:06 > 1:07:07Come on. Let's go.
1:07:07 > 1:07:11I'm gonna miss him.
1:07:08 > 1:07:11Don't worry. He's not going anywhere.
1:07:16 > 1:07:18The kids have only been gone a few hours, and I miss them already.
1:07:18 > 1:07:18I know.
1:07:18 > 1:07:23This thing's still got a leak in it.
1:07:20 > 1:07:23Listen, about what happened last night...
1:07:23 > 1:07:27Or didn't happen last night.
1:07:27 > 1:07:29It's probably for the best.
1:07:31 > 1:07:35Yeah.
1:07:32 > 1:07:35I mean, things could get complicated.
1:07:36 > 1:07:37I'm a simple guy.
1:07:41 > 1:07:43That was a softball. No comeback there?
1:07:45 > 1:07:47Good night, Vince.
1:07:52 > 1:07:58Well, I don't think I'm going to risk the air mattress again tonight, so I'll probably, uh, just...
1:08:00 > 1:08:01Night.
1:08:03 > 1:08:05See you at the rehearsal dinner.
1:08:15 > 1:08:16GLASS CLINKS
1:08:19 > 1:08:24Um, my parents and I couldn't be happier that we have all of you here
1:08:24 > 1:08:27to celebrate Vince and Jennifer's wedding tomorrow.
1:08:27 > 1:08:30It's probably safe to say that many of us never thought that Jennifer would ever get married.
1:08:33 > 1:08:41But she has found this wonderful man who's so funny, giving and warm.
1:08:43 > 1:08:45And he obviously adores her.
1:08:46 > 1:08:52I've seen the way that Vince looks at Jennifer when she's not looking, and I can see what he must see.
1:08:56 > 1:08:58I look forward to tomorrow...
1:09:00 > 1:09:04..to seeing my beautiful sister as happy as I was on my wedding day.
1:09:06 > 1:09:12But more importantly, I look forward to being a part of the life that Jennifer and Vince make together.
1:09:15 > 1:09:18To Vince and Jennifer, may you live happily ever...
1:09:19 > 1:09:20Jen-Jen?
1:09:24 > 1:09:27Um...
1:09:25 > 1:09:27Nerves.
1:09:29 > 1:09:31SHE INHALES DEEPLY
1:09:38 > 1:09:40Hey.
1:09:40 > 1:09:47I can't go through with it. I can't deceive all my family and friends. I'm sorry. I just can't.
1:09:49 > 1:09:52We have to.
1:09:51 > 1:09:52I'm calling it off.
1:09:55 > 1:09:56No, you're not. Here.
1:09:57 > 1:09:59How can you go through with this?
1:10:02 > 1:10:04You can't do this to me, Jennifer.
1:10:05 > 1:10:08I could've taken that money my father gave me and paid off my debt, but I didn't do it.
1:10:08 > 1:10:09Why didn't you?
1:10:11 > 1:10:12I don't know. Because...
1:10:13 > 1:10:15because I just didn't.
1:10:17 > 1:10:22Look, I can't... I can't stand up there tomorrow and marry a man who doesn't love me.
1:10:26 > 1:10:28Now you tell me.
1:10:30 > 1:10:34It's great timing.
1:10:31 > 1:10:34Sorry. You'll have to pay your debt some other way.
1:10:34 > 1:10:36If I thought of a way to get the money, you think I would've gone through this?
1:10:36 > 1:10:39I'm sorry it's been so terrible.
1:10:39 > 1:10:41SHE SIGHS
1:10:42 > 1:10:45Why don't you go back in there, Jennifer, all right?
1:10:45 > 1:10:50Tell your parents that all that money they just spent was for nothing.
1:10:52 > 1:10:53Can you do that?
1:10:55 > 1:10:57That's what I thought.
1:10:57 > 1:10:59The wedding is on.
1:11:01 > 1:11:05Unless you want The Monkey to kill me so you can keep my television.
1:11:05 > 1:11:09After the wedding, I never want to see you again. Thank God I didn't sleep with you.
1:11:09 > 1:11:11Oh, you would've loved it.
1:11:10 > 1:11:11Not as much as you would have.
1:11:10 > 1:11:11Mm-hm.
1:11:13 > 1:11:14CHURCH BELLS RING
1:11:21 > 1:11:23How do you tie these things, Steve?
1:11:24 > 1:11:25Why didn't you just get the clip-on?
1:11:25 > 1:11:29I don't know. Maybe I'm getting married, man.
1:11:27 > 1:11:29Are you decent?
1:11:29 > 1:11:32Yeah.
1:11:29 > 1:11:32Wow, you look...dashing.
1:11:32 > 1:11:36Thanks. Is she OK? She's still going to go through with this, right?
1:11:34 > 1:11:36Of course she is.
1:11:36 > 1:11:39She's a little uptight, but that's just the nervous jitters.
1:11:39 > 1:11:43But she did ask me to give you this, and she said that you should have something for her,
1:11:43 > 1:11:48and if you don't, I'm supposed to wait here until you do. (I think it's a code.)
1:11:48 > 1:11:49OK.
1:11:50 > 1:11:56It's really sweet, you know, exchanging love letters right before the ceremony.
1:11:56 > 1:11:57There you go.
1:11:56 > 1:11:57SHE LAUGHS
1:11:58 > 1:12:00Yay, brother!
1:11:59 > 1:12:00Yay. Hey.
1:12:01 > 1:12:08Oh, um... yeah, you know what? We're almost ready to go, so you might want to tie that tie.
1:12:08 > 1:12:09OK.
1:12:12 > 1:12:15Just think of it as a shoelace for your neck.
1:12:24 > 1:12:25STRINGS MUSIC PLAYS
1:12:27 > 1:12:30Hey.
1:12:27 > 1:12:30Hey. I'm a friend of Vic's. We met last week.
1:12:31 > 1:12:34Vince.
1:12:32 > 1:12:34Right, Vince.
1:12:44 > 1:12:46STRINGS MUSIC PLAYS
1:13:19 > 1:13:21OK. OK.
1:13:25 > 1:13:28MUSIC: "Bridal Chorus" by Richard Wagner
1:13:36 > 1:13:38Wait. Close the doors.
1:13:41 > 1:13:42Honey, it's time.
1:13:44 > 1:13:48I don't think I can do this.
1:13:44 > 1:13:48Of course you can.
1:13:46 > 1:13:48No. Vince and I...
1:13:48 > 1:13:55Jennifer, listen to me. Your mother and I always doubted you'd even get married...
1:13:55 > 1:13:56I know, Dad. Thanks (!)
1:13:56 > 1:14:02..because we never thought you'd meet anybody worthy of all you had to offer.
1:14:03 > 1:14:07I couldn't be prouder of the woman you've become.
1:14:10 > 1:14:13And I'm really sorry I haven't always told you that.
1:14:20 > 1:14:22Dad, I just need to tell you...
1:14:21 > 1:14:22Sweetheart.
1:14:27 > 1:14:28I know you're scared.
1:14:29 > 1:14:35And as hard as it's gonna be for me to give you away, I know you're gonna be in good hands.
1:14:35 > 1:14:36Vince loves you.
1:14:43 > 1:14:44OK?
1:14:53 > 1:14:55MUSIC: "Bridal Chorus" by Richard Wagner
1:15:06 > 1:15:09Wow.
1:15:08 > 1:15:09I know.
1:15:24 > 1:15:25LAUGHTER
1:15:35 > 1:15:43Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in the sacred bonds of holy matrimony.
1:15:43 > 1:15:46I have had the chance to spend time with Jennifer and Vince,
1:15:46 > 1:15:52and their unusually strong feelings for one another are, well, quite apparent.
1:15:52 > 1:15:57I've done this job long enough to know when a couple is getting married for the wrong reasons.
1:15:57 > 1:16:02Some they're in love with an idealised version of the person they are marrying.
1:16:02 > 1:16:06Others feel that they are simply too old to be single any more.
1:16:06 > 1:16:11And some... Well, some just want all the gifts.
1:16:10 > 1:16:11LAUGHTER
1:16:18 > 1:16:24That's ridiculous.
1:16:20 > 1:16:24But what they don't realise is that marriage is a journey.
1:16:25 > 1:16:30A wonderful, exciting and, at times, excruciating journey.
1:16:31 > 1:16:34Am I right?
1:16:32 > 1:16:34CROWD MURMURS IN AGREEMENT
1:16:34 > 1:16:37But Jennifer and Vince,
1:16:37 > 1:16:41they see each other for who they really are.
1:16:41 > 1:16:46There are no rose-coloured glasses on these two, not at all.
1:16:46 > 1:16:50They are standing here today committing to each other, knowing full well what they're getting into.
1:16:52 > 1:16:55The couple has elected to recite their own vows.
1:16:56 > 1:16:58Vince?
1:16:57 > 1:16:58Yeah.
1:16:58 > 1:17:00The vows.
1:16:59 > 1:17:00Oh, right.
1:17:06 > 1:17:13Jennifer, I didn't know how loving a person could be until I met you.
1:17:13 > 1:17:17HE CHUCKLES
1:17:19 > 1:17:22I can't. I just cannot do this.
1:17:23 > 1:17:24CROWD MURMURS
1:17:28 > 1:17:31I've got to speak from the heart here.
1:17:29 > 1:17:31Uh-uh.
1:17:31 > 1:17:37Jennifer, you are the most frustrating person I have ever met.
1:17:37 > 1:17:41You are opinionated and stubborn,
1:17:41 > 1:17:47and at times, really, really, really bossy.
1:17:47 > 1:17:51CROWD MURMURS
1:17:52 > 1:17:54And that is why I've fallen in love with you.
1:17:56 > 1:18:01I didn't plan on it, believe me. It just happened. And along the way, I...
1:18:02 > 1:18:03..noticed your generosity,
1:18:03 > 1:18:10your kindness, your great sense of humour
1:18:10 > 1:18:14and just your basic sense of decency.
1:18:16 > 1:18:18You're an amazing woman, Jennifer.
1:18:21 > 1:18:23And I will be proud to call you my wife.
1:18:30 > 1:18:32Jennifer, it's your turn now.
1:18:36 > 1:18:37Read your vows.
1:18:55 > 1:18:56It was my grandmother's.
1:19:00 > 1:19:02We're not quite to the rings yet.
1:19:03 > 1:19:04What do you say?
1:19:10 > 1:19:14You know, I pride myself on being able to read people.
1:19:15 > 1:19:23When I met you, Vince, I thought you were sloppy and lazy and a ladies' man. And I was right.
1:19:24 > 1:19:26In fact, that was all I could see.
1:19:27 > 1:19:32But every day that I've spent with you I have found little things that I love about you,
1:19:32 > 1:19:39like the way you light up when your mom walks in a room or the way you make my niece and nephew laugh.
1:19:39 > 1:19:45And ever since then, I just... I don't know, I just love all those little things about you.
1:19:49 > 1:19:50I love you, Vince.
1:19:56 > 1:19:59Is that a yes?
1:19:58 > 1:19:59Yes. Yes.
1:20:00 > 1:20:02Yes.
1:20:01 > 1:20:02CROWD MURMURS, LAUGHS
1:20:03 > 1:20:05Yes!
1:20:06 > 1:20:08Guys, the kissing comes later too. We're still at the vows.
1:20:08 > 1:20:12Oh, um, Vince, do you take Jennifer to be your lawful wedded wife?
1:20:12 > 1:20:15Jennifer, do you take Vince to be your lawful wedded husband?
1:20:15 > 1:20:18Um, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may do that.
1:20:18 > 1:20:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1:20:27 > 1:20:29We did it. Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
1:20:31 > 1:20:33# I need love, love to ease my mind
1:20:33 > 1:20:36# I need to find find someone to call mine
1:20:38 > 1:20:39# But mama said
1:20:39 > 1:20:41# You can't hurry love
1:20:41 > 1:20:44# No, you just have to wait
1:20:44 > 1:20:47# She said love don't come easy
1:20:47 > 1:20:49# It's a game of give and take
1:20:49 > 1:20:51# You can't hurry love
1:20:51 > 1:20:54# No, you just have to wait
1:20:54 > 1:20:56# You've got to trust
1:20:56 > 1:20:58# Give it time no matter how long... #
1:20:58 > 1:21:01Touching ceremony.
1:21:00 > 1:21:01Thank you.
1:21:01 > 1:21:06Mr Monkey, we're gonna pay you back. If you want a down payment, you can just take a gift off the gift table.
1:21:06 > 1:21:07I like your style.
1:21:08 > 1:21:09Vince, you did well.
1:21:10 > 1:21:12I know.
1:21:12 > 1:21:15Which is why I'm forgiving your debt.
1:21:14 > 1:21:15BOTH: Really?
1:21:15 > 1:21:20Of course not. But I will knock off 75 bucks so you can get yourself a blender.
1:21:22 > 1:21:23To the happy couple! Salut!
1:21:24 > 1:21:26CROWD: To the happy couple!
1:21:26 > 1:21:29# She said love don't come easy
1:21:29 > 1:21:32# It's a game of give and take
1:21:32 > 1:21:33# How long must I wait?
1:21:33 > 1:21:37# How much more can I take before love...?
1:21:37 > 1:21:41Oh, my God, we're married. We're really married.
1:21:40 > 1:21:41I know. We are so lucky.
1:21:43 > 1:21:47I still feel kind of bad about deceiving everybody. Do you think we should tell them?
1:21:47 > 1:21:52Now? What? Are you kidding? Your aunt just bought us that coffee maker you wanted.
1:21:52 > 1:21:53Yeah, but it was all a lie.
1:21:55 > 1:22:00It's a lie that came true, though. I love you, honey. I mean, we can... give back all the stuff.
1:22:00 > 1:22:02Nothing's gonna change that.
1:22:02 > 1:22:05# But remember mama said you can't hurry love
1:22:05 > 1:22:08# No, you just have to wait
1:22:08 > 1:22:10# She said love don't come easy. #
1:22:10 > 1:22:11I love you, Vince.
1:22:11 > 1:22:14# It's a game of give and take
1:22:14 > 1:22:15# You can't hurry love
1:22:15 > 1:22:18# No, you just have to wait
1:22:18 > 1:22:22# She said just give it time
1:22:22 > 1:22:24# No matter how long it takes
1:22:24 > 1:22:25# Gotta wait
1:22:25 > 1:22:27# No, love, love
1:22:27 > 1:22:30# Don't come easy
1:22:30 > 1:22:35# But I keep on waiting anticipating... #
1:22:39 > 1:22:41# What you see is what you get when you're looking at me
1:22:41 > 1:22:44# I'm gonna tell it like it is most definitely
1:22:44 > 1:22:47# So let's say our goodbyes cos it's perfectly clear
1:22:47 > 1:22:50# We wanna get to know each other so let's get out of here
1:22:50 > 1:22:52# I don't need to know where we're gonna go
1:22:52 > 1:22:55# And it's right cos you got the wheels
1:22:55 > 1:22:57# And I got the rhyme if you got the feel
1:22:57 > 1:23:00# Let's ride, get into the flow
1:23:00 > 1:23:02# If we forget the words we'll make 'em up as we go
1:23:02 > 1:23:04# Well, let's ride
1:23:04 > 1:23:05# Yes, you got the beat
1:23:05 > 1:23:08# And I got the rhythm to knock you off your feet
1:23:08 > 1:23:09# Let's ride
1:23:09 > 1:23:10# Yes, you got the beat
1:23:10 > 1:23:13# And I got the rhythm to knock you off your feet
1:23:13 > 1:23:14# Let's ride
1:23:14 > 1:23:16# Gonna get inside
1:23:16 > 1:23:18# I wanna go crazy Yeah, I wanna get wild
1:23:18 > 1:23:20# Let's ride. #