0:00:02 > 0:00:06SONG: "The World's Got Everything In It" by Uncle Bill
0:00:06 > 0:00:10This film contains some strong language
0:00:13 > 0:00:15# Ooh
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Well, the world's got everything in it
0:00:22 > 0:00:25# Ain't no reason to doubt it
0:00:25 > 0:00:29# Since I found out about it
0:00:29 > 0:00:32# I'm gonna make my point and shout it
0:00:32 > 0:00:35# Well, the world's got everything in it
0:00:35 > 0:00:39# Put it on your finger and spin it
0:00:39 > 0:00:42# It's got trees and planes and asphalt chicanes
0:00:42 > 0:00:44# It's got a game and you might win it...
0:00:52 > 0:00:54WOMAN MOANING
0:00:56 > 0:00:58HE GRUNTS
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- What?- Daddy's birthday!
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- Happy birthday, Daddy!- Happy...
0:01:05 > 0:01:06- Ooh!- Bugger!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12# Yeah, the world's got everything in it...
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Happy birthday!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16# It's got news right up to the minute
0:01:16 > 0:01:18# It's got truth and lies
0:01:18 > 0:01:20# And the dumb and the wise
0:01:20 > 0:01:23# It's got variety without limit #
0:01:29 > 0:01:32MALE VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PHONE
0:01:32 > 0:01:35I'm sorry. I don't actually speak Phone Plan.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- "Do you mind if I put you on hold?" - Where's my shirt?- That's fine.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- Can't find anything. - All the time in the world.
0:01:42 > 0:01:43# Ta-dah!
0:01:45 > 0:01:48- What are you wearing? - It's casual-clothes day, Mum.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Georgia gave it to me.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52I didn't know what to wear.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54- Oh, sweetheart...- What?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57- Don't speak with your mouth full. - Good luck!
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- You can't wear that.- Why not?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04You'll freeze!
0:02:29 > 0:02:31There you go.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33You're very beautiful, Kylie.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Natalie.- Oh!
0:02:38 > 0:02:41BHP, 34.95, Resource Pacific 5.96
0:02:41 > 0:02:44and Rio Tinto 103.98.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49In the retail sector, Coles advanced to 15.49, Woolworths to 18.62...
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Happy birthday!
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Oh!
0:02:56 > 0:02:58HE LAUGHS
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Ross gets chocolate!- Yeah.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05I can't believe you've got nits again.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07I'm sorry.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Good one, Ruby!
0:03:08 > 0:03:10It's nobody's fault.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12It's your turn, Louis.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- ELECTRONIC SHOOTING NOISES - What's that noise?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- Hello? - Leave my ringtones alone!- Hi, Dad.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21She's just doing Louis' big tits.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Big nits!- I said big nits.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25No, you didn't!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Agh! Oh!
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Come on, boys. Let's go.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Firm wrist and hard fist.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37Found this site on the internet of people having sex with animals.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- What?- Next! Come on.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Snakes, dogs, a horse...
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Cool!
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Come on. Faster!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Pick it up!
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- The footy's on! - Paris Hilton's on. She's hot.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- It's not scary or anything. - I'm not scared. The footy's on!
0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Yes! - No, no, no! Don't. They'll lose.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03They're losers anyway, you gooby giant.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Oh, my God, I can't believe you guys only have one television.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09All right. Settle down.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14"Adult themes, medium-level violence,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17nudity, occasional coarse language,
0:04:17 > 0:04:19MA-15 plus."
0:04:19 > 0:04:23Chloe's four. I don't think her mum, or your mum, or your mum,
0:04:23 > 0:04:26- wants you watching this. - Winona gave it to Blake.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29MOBILE RINGS
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- Your daughter wants to go home. - Georgia?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Is she texting you from the lounge room?
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Can't believe she's 12 already. - I can't believe she's ONLY 12.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- Every time I look at her I feel like I need to get implants. - They're watching Jaws.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48Oh, great. We'll have Ruby in our bed for a week.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50We'll save on swimming lessons.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- DOG BARKING - Kids? Come on. Hurry up.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Louis, Ruby! Quickly!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Quick sticks!
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Hop in.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Found them! - HE JINGLES KEYS
0:05:03 > 0:05:05That's it, honey.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10They say boys do better in co-ed schools,
0:05:10 > 0:05:12but girls do better in single-sex schools.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Well, I've sent my boys to private boys' school.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18God knows why. Values, safety...
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Guess you'd lock them in a small room if you could.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26And...it makes no difference.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29I see as many pregnancies and STDs from the private schools
0:05:29 > 0:05:32as the local techs.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37OK. One Pap test all done.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Thanks.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Anything else I can help you with today?
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Jesus...
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Sorry.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- SHE GASPS - Oh!
0:05:56 > 0:05:59SHE CHUCKLES
0:06:00 > 0:06:02- PHONE RINGS - Toilet breaks?
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Why do they need all this ridiculous information?
0:06:05 > 0:06:06What?
0:06:06 > 0:06:09MCR. This is Rosie Singh.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Ross? Outside call.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Hello?
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Natalie?
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Do you know where you are?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Hospital.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56That's right. You're... You're in intensive care.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Do you know how you got here?
0:08:07 > 0:08:09My mum...
0:08:09 > 0:08:13only had to look at my dad.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15HE CHUCKLES
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Oh, yes! She was so lucky.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26The ambulance right there, the doctor right there.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30And the surgeon who's best in the country for aneurysms was right here.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33He was all scrubbed up for another operation that fell through.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I better go. Bye.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48CHEERING FOOTBALL COMMENTARY
0:08:48 > 0:08:50"Manson, dangerous spot!"
0:08:50 > 0:08:52"Oh!"
0:08:53 > 0:08:56"The margin is three points."
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Kayla's mum took me to dancing class.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Dad was late picking me up.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05Chloe pushed Kayla over when she said dancing's boring.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09I'm going to Eve's party. It's very...
0:09:09 > 0:09:11"I'd like to see it again."
0:09:11 > 0:09:15"Did the skipper initiate the contact or did White?"
0:09:15 > 0:09:19"Beyond the 30-minute mark of the last quarter,
0:09:19 > 0:09:22with both teams playing for their seasons. Jeff White..."
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Can I have my birthday there when I'm eight?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- It's OK. Come here. - Please, please, please...
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Here.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Mum's just sleeping.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39CROWD CHEERING
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Please!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46CROWD ROARS
0:09:47 > 0:09:49HE GROANS
0:09:52 > 0:09:55- Hey!- "Clark in the box."
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Hey, she'll be fine.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00We'll be fine.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03There's always next season.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Where was I?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13They're just as likely to decide to paint the whole place pink,
0:10:13 > 0:10:17and the first thing we'll know about it's a bill for thousands.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Last time I missed one because her ladyship wanted a holiday.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Now we live on the Gold Coast. For Christ sakes, life's a holiday!
0:10:34 > 0:10:37- DOOR CREAKS OPEN AND CLOSES - Where was I?
0:10:38 > 0:10:41Er, last time you missed a body corp meeting.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Jesus!
0:11:18 > 0:11:21So?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Yeah. Nah, it's a train wreck, really.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30I mean, even if Nat's OK,
0:11:30 > 0:11:32the job's already gone.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35She can't drive.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39I can't take any more time off work. They're...
0:11:40 > 0:11:42..restructuring, whatever that means.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45I don't really know... HE SOBS
0:11:46 > 0:11:48..what I'm going to do.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Mate...
0:11:51 > 0:11:53It's OK to cry.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Are they offering packages?
0:11:58 > 0:12:01If they are, you should take the money and leave.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Set up a consultancy. Hire yourself back to them at twice the rate.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07You can claim your mortgage as a tax deduction,
0:12:07 > 0:12:10your expenses - practically everything.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13It was the best thing I ever did. Time's my own.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Yeah.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22When you woke up, we were going to pretend ten years had gone by,
0:12:22 > 0:12:26and Uncle Ross had married again, and he was bald.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28And I had a baby when I was 15.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31And Louis was gay.
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- What?- Blake, go and do something.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- What?- Can we have something?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38There's enough here.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40- Yes!- You take them.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Whatever.- I'm getting a coke. - She only gave us ten dollars.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- Oh, my God!- So, how does it happen?
0:12:46 > 0:12:52Er, it's an artery that balloons and then bursts in your head.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54But how?
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Maybe born with it. Maybe the Pill.
0:12:57 > 0:13:02- Smoking, stress...shitty luck... - Stress.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- I did smoke.- Yeah, but who didn't?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07And took the Pill, but it'd be stress. It's an epidemic.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10I wasn't stressed, was I?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I did yoga...
0:13:12 > 0:13:14didn't I?
0:13:14 > 0:13:18Yoga's hopeless. Might as well just lie on your bed.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21You should do community singing.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24You get your stress relief, your oxygen in your blood,
0:13:24 > 0:13:26endorphins, pleasure, happiness...
0:13:26 > 0:13:31Singing with lots of people stimulates a small organ in your ear. It's like an orgasm.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35These things can make champagne go off,
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- and cause more fatalities than sharks.- Ross?
0:13:37 > 0:13:40- You OK?- Yeah.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44It's just...sometimes people forget about the person
0:13:44 > 0:13:46- who's been doing all the caring... - DOOR CLICKING
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- ..and all the worrying.- Hey!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Yes! It's good to have you back, buddy!
0:13:52 > 0:13:55It's been tough being the most gorgeous guy here.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59It's been tough because they didn't replace you, and banned overtime.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03- How does that work? - Dead air, or work for love.
0:14:10 > 0:14:1450 percent of people with aneurysms die before they get to hospital.
0:14:14 > 0:14:1715 percent of survivors never walk or talk again.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21You should buy yourself a lottery ticket.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24But it...won't happen again.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Consider it a yellow card.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Er, soccer.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- A warning, but you keep playing.- Oh.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Anecdotally, most aneurysms rupture during heavy lifting,
0:14:34 > 0:14:37suppressing sneezes, straining on the toilet,
0:14:37 > 0:14:41and sex. Three out of four should be avoidable.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01VIOLIN MUSIC
0:15:04 > 0:15:06SHE PLAYS OFF-KEY
0:15:14 > 0:15:17SHE CONTINUES TO PLAY
0:15:25 > 0:15:27SHE SOBS
0:15:34 > 0:15:39They're just so beautiful. I love you, Ross.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40I love you, too.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45- I love you, Ruby, my gorgeous girl. - I love you, too, Mama.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48And I love you, Louis, my beautiful boy.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Mum...
0:15:52 > 0:15:55what's 37 plus 16 plus 16?
0:15:57 > 0:16:0137 plus 16 plus 16 is...
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Um...
0:16:03 > 0:16:0669.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Hey, Mum? Can I take you to school for show-and-tell?
0:16:10 > 0:16:12SHE LAUGHS
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Maybe not.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19SHE PLAYS SLOWLY
0:16:27 > 0:16:30It's only me who can't have an orgasm.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32We could still have sex.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36- Isn't it too soon? - I don't mean this minute.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38I mean when I'm better.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43You could be really boring and not get me excited.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45You could go through analogue versus digital again.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48THEY LAUGH
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Very funny.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56I can't believe I almost died.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00I'm glad you didn't.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Did the kids think I was going to die?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06No. No. I told them you'd be fine.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08What if I wasn't?
0:17:08 > 0:17:11You should've been honest.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14But you are fine.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I can't imagine not being here.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26What kind of next wife would you get?
0:17:26 > 0:17:28I'm just thinking.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31Would she be like a new me?
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Or totally new?
0:17:35 > 0:17:38- Tidy! - HE CHUCKLES
0:18:12 > 0:18:16Dear Ruby, happy birthday.
0:18:16 > 0:18:1815!
0:18:18 > 0:18:21I hope you're having a wonderful life.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25Yes, you are too young to have sex, and don't drive with P-platers.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Don't do drugs.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33Definitely...not....chroming,
0:18:33 > 0:18:37petrol-sniffing, crystal meth...
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Christ, sounds like a shopping list.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Probably a lovely, healthy, happy girl.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Eat with your mouth closed. Sit up straight,
0:18:48 > 0:18:51and occasionally try and think about how the other person feels.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54I love you.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56I really...
0:18:57 > 0:18:59..really, really love you.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29OK. Big deep breath.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32And... THEY EXHALE NOISILY
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Good. Jaws.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37THEY MAKE RHYTHMIC CHATTERING SOUND
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Good. OK. Chewing.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Really big!
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Last, through your lips.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50THEY MAKE TRILLING AND SNORTING SOUNDS
0:19:51 > 0:19:54All right. Count in on two.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57One, two! # Row, row, row your boat
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- # Gently down the stream - # Row, row, row your boat
0:19:59 > 0:20:02- # Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily - # Gently down the stream
0:20:02 > 0:20:04- # Life is but a dream - # Row, row, row your boat #
0:20:04 > 0:20:06THEY CONTINUE TO SING
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Don't worry about it.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Natalie!
0:20:16 > 0:20:20I thought it was you! I love your hair.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22I can't believe how different you look!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Who did it?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- No-one.- Oh, what do you mean?
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Aren't you telling? Is it a secret special hairdresser?
0:20:33 > 0:20:34It's a wig.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Oh!
0:20:36 > 0:20:40It's brilliant. I love it. Why are you wearing a wig?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42Is it alopecia from stress?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47She had an operation on her brain.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Oh, I'm so sorry!
0:20:49 > 0:20:55Margaret! Isn't it great to see some new faces?
0:20:55 > 0:20:58It's just getting bigger and bigger.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Nicotine, anyone?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05I'm giving up smoking. Tried everything -
0:21:05 > 0:21:08hypnotherapy, acupuncture, knitting, not drinking,
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- drinking more... - Thanks for the class.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I feel fantastic. Such a great communal energy!
0:21:13 > 0:21:15It was really wonderful.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Thanks.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24Oh, my God! I didn't think there'd be people who actually need rehab.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Just a bit of stress relief!
0:21:28 > 0:21:31"Functional systems. One, cognition,
0:21:31 > 0:21:34which is the information-handling aspect of behaviour."
0:21:34 > 0:21:38"Two, emotionality, which concerns feelings and motivation."
0:21:38 > 0:21:41"And three, executive functions
0:21:41 > 0:21:44which have to do with how behaviour is expressed."
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- SHE CHUCKLES - "Damage to the brain"...
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I just thought I heard Ruby.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12You're still beautiful to me.
0:22:44 > 0:22:49Jesus! What are the poor people doing tonight?
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Not making the same choices we do.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Isn't all that property and stock-market stuff about to crash?
0:22:55 > 0:22:58What people believe is the reality.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00You don't even have to believe it yourself.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03If they believe it's going to crash, it crashes.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06But then the really clever people start buying.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Survival of the fittest!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10CORK POPPING
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Cool. Now, are you allowed?
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Oh, I don't know. As long as it doesn't make me sneeze,
0:23:17 > 0:23:20- or constipated... - SHE CHUCKLES
0:23:20 > 0:23:23- ..or give me an orgasm. - It's very good champagne.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26# Dashing through the snow
0:23:26 > 0:23:28# In a one-horse open sleigh
0:23:28 > 0:23:31# Over hills we go
0:23:31 > 0:23:33# Laughing all the way
0:23:33 > 0:23:35# Bells on Bobtail ring
0:23:35 > 0:23:37# Making spirits bright
0:23:37 > 0:23:40# What fun it is to ride and sing
0:23:40 > 0:23:42# A sleighing song tonight
0:23:42 > 0:23:44# Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
0:23:44 > 0:23:46# Jingle all the way
0:23:46 > 0:23:49# Oh, what fun it is to ride
0:23:49 > 0:23:51# In a one-horse open sleigh #
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Ruby has been on a bus before, hasn't she, Mum?
0:23:54 > 0:23:58- I have not!- Yes, you have. Remember when we got the car serviced,
0:23:58 > 0:24:02- and Dad couldn't find his keys? - I wasn't born yet.- Yes, you were!
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Mum had you in that little carry thing.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07- Can we not argue about it now? - Thank you.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Ho, ho, ho!
0:24:08 > 0:24:13- Grace said there was no Santa. - Who brings all the presents, then?
0:24:13 > 0:24:15- Her mum.- As if!
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Here, Mum. Like this. In there.
0:24:30 > 0:24:34How does one man get around the whole world in one night?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Well, it's pretty hard for the Easter Bunny,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39you know, to deliver all those eggs.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42Or for the Tooth Fairy. Or for Jesus to walk on water.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Is that what he's famous for?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Er, yeah. And that he was born on Christmas Day.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Hello, little girl.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Roboreptile? Wow!
0:24:54 > 0:24:58- Mum, I want this for Christmas. - You've already got one, haven't you?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00But this is version four!
0:25:00 > 0:25:03Grraah! Mum, can I have this for Christmas?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06You'll just have to wait and see what Santa brings.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12- We haven't got anything for Dad. - Dad likes fruit.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- Aren't they plastic?- Plastic?
0:25:25 > 0:25:29Heather? We're ready for you now, if you'd like to come through.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Yes, thank you.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Why would you bring a dog in for a radio interview?
0:25:34 > 0:25:38We all know that dogs are a man's, or indeed a woman's, best friend.
0:25:38 > 0:25:41But did you know that a dog can actually make you live longer?
0:25:41 > 0:25:44Heather Jones from the Lost Dogs' Home is here to tell us...
0:25:44 > 0:25:48Maybe we could all leave, and hire ourselves back for more money.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52They haven't hired anyone back from OB. They just get casuals in on the cheap.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Well, maybe we start our own business.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58- What? - HE LAUGHS
0:25:58 > 0:26:01- Our own radio station! - HE LAUGHS
0:26:01 > 0:26:04Oh, Rosie, good score!
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Ah!- Did you bring any alcohol? - # Ta-dah!- Wow!
0:26:07 > 0:26:10CHILDREN CHATTERING
0:26:23 > 0:26:26- Purple 37.- Yep.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34Blue 64.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Mum, look. It's us. Mum, look!
0:26:37 > 0:26:39- Oh! Ruby, go up.- No, no.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- Ruby...- Blue 64?
0:26:47 > 0:26:51WOMEN WHISPERING She deserves it.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54APPLAUSE
0:26:56 > 0:26:59HE LAUGHS
0:27:00 > 0:27:04You can win up to 100,000 on each ticket.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06- Well, yeah.- Can we buy a pony?
0:27:06 > 0:27:10How about a song to get you into the holiday spirit?
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# Dashing through the snow
0:27:13 > 0:27:15# In a one-horse open sleigh
0:27:15 > 0:27:17# Over the fields we go #
0:27:17 > 0:27:19We've never won anything before.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22I won an Easter egg in the colouring competition.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Yeah, but that was skill, not luck.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28You told me it was just bad luck when I didn't win!
0:27:28 > 0:27:30That time I tried my hardest.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Oh, no!
0:27:33 > 0:27:35What?
0:27:38 > 0:27:42- Do we really have to wait for Dad? - He won't be long.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48RAUNCHY MUSIC MEN CHEERING AND WHISTLING
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- MAN LAUGHING - Girls!
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
0:27:53 > 0:27:58Yeah, get it off! Yeah, that's it, sweetheart!
0:27:58 > 0:28:02I'll never get another job. I can't do anything else.
0:28:02 > 0:28:06I always liked the idea of myself having a little mechanic's business.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Vintage cars, wearing overalls...
0:28:08 > 0:28:11Yeah, I can just see you in overalls.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Maybe renting out boats to people in Narooma.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16I caught a flathead there once.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19There you go. Rent a boat off Ross and go fishing full-time.
0:28:19 > 0:28:20Maybe.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22MUSIC POUNDS
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Who suggested this?
0:28:26 > 0:28:28The sound quality is appalling.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37- I want a swimming pool. - I want a basketball hoop.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41And a bike. Matt's dad bought him a Signature XRM.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43- A what?- A motorbike.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46Why would anybody get something so risky?
0:28:47 > 0:28:51- Two dollars! - That makes it eight bucks.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55Tickets cost ten. Wish we'd won that hamper, that second prize.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58- It was fantastic. - Yeah, Dad. You should've seen it.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00There was, like, a million toys and lollies.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- I'm going to ask Santa for one. I can't wait.- I can't wait!
0:29:03 > 0:29:07- I can't wait more than you can't wait.- What?
0:29:07 > 0:29:10- You're such a knob.- I'm not a knob!
0:29:10 > 0:29:12Maybe we should go to church tonight -
0:29:12 > 0:29:15so the kids understand what it's really about, give it some meaning.
0:29:15 > 0:29:17Well, I for one would love to,
0:29:17 > 0:29:21but I have to do my Christmas shopping tonight.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24On Christmas Eve?
0:29:24 > 0:29:28# Oh, come, let us adore him
0:29:28 > 0:29:34# Oh, come, let us adore him
0:29:34 > 0:29:39# Oh, come, let us adore him
0:29:39 > 0:29:45# Christ, the Lord #
0:29:54 > 0:29:57The reading today is from the Gospel of St Luke,
0:29:57 > 0:29:59Chapter 2.
0:29:59 > 0:30:02"And it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree
0:30:02 > 0:30:05from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed."
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Thank you very much.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13- Hi, Natalie!- Hi!- How are you?
0:30:13 > 0:30:16Good! I didn't realise that you were a church person.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18I... I'm new.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Katie goes to church every week, Mum!
0:30:22 > 0:30:25- That's lovely. Ruby! - THEY SHOUT
0:30:26 > 0:30:28I got you!
0:30:29 > 0:30:32So, is the, er, choir a church thing?
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Yeah, sort of. It's my outreach thing.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Right.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39Oof!
0:30:39 > 0:30:41- RUBY CRIES - Jeez...
0:30:41 > 0:30:44I can't lift her. I'm not allowed.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46Oh!
0:30:48 > 0:30:52- She needs to go to the hospital. - RUBY WAILS
0:30:52 > 0:30:55SONG: "Soon I Will Be Done" by Emily Hayes
0:30:55 > 0:30:57# The troubles of the world
0:30:57 > 0:30:59# Oh, soon I will be done
0:30:59 > 0:31:02# With the troubles of the world
0:31:02 > 0:31:05# Oh, I long to be with God
0:31:05 > 0:31:07# Soon I will be done...
0:31:07 > 0:31:11"This call is being diverted. Please wait."
0:31:19 > 0:31:23You really don't have to stay. We can get a taxi home.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25It's OK. It's good.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28I haven't got... Taxis might be hard to find.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32Or full of vomit. It is Christmas. SHE CHUCKLES
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Are you coming back to choir in the New Year?
0:31:38 > 0:31:42I'm not sure what nights the kids have their stuff on next year.
0:31:42 > 0:31:47I do violin, swimming and dancing, and I'm starting netball.
0:31:47 > 0:31:48Violin?
0:31:48 > 0:31:53God knows why. Don't know anyone who even listens to classical music.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55God does know why.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59Oh, God. Sorry. Oh...
0:31:59 > 0:32:01MOBILE RINGS
0:32:04 > 0:32:06Hey, Dad. We're at the hospital.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11No, it's not Mum. It's Ruby. Yeah, she fell.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14There's blood everywhere.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19CAR APPROACHING
0:32:23 > 0:32:26HE SIGHS IMPATIENTLY
0:32:26 > 0:32:28Come on!
0:32:29 > 0:32:33- I've got six stitches!- Oh, dear! - We came home with a priest.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35- Priest?!- Come on. Big day tomorrow.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38Christmas Day!
0:32:38 > 0:32:41Santa's coming! Santa's coming!
0:32:50 > 0:32:52I'm sorry. I...
0:32:52 > 0:32:55- Forgot to charge my phone.- That's OK.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11I know. It's too much. But how do you go back to giving them
0:33:11 > 0:33:14a skipping rope and an orange
0:33:14 > 0:33:16when all their friends are getting the new iPod
0:33:16 > 0:33:20and the new Xbox? I just want them to be happy!
0:33:20 > 0:33:22It's Christmas!
0:33:26 > 0:33:31Oh, I've had it. Can you please stay up
0:33:31 > 0:33:34until they've gone to sleep, put the sacks under the tree
0:33:34 > 0:33:36- and do the carrots? - Louis put the carrots out.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39Someone has to eat them. Like a reindeer.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42ANIMAL WHIMPERING
0:33:45 > 0:33:49- Do you want your present now? - No. I want to go to sleep.
0:33:49 > 0:33:54And I don't want a present that means more work. If that's what I think it is, take it back.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46SONG: "Glory To The World" by El Perro Del Mar
0:35:01 > 0:35:03# Look at the clouds today
0:35:03 > 0:35:05# Look at the clouds today
0:35:05 > 0:35:08# They sure got funny shapes
0:35:08 > 0:35:11# They sure got funny shapes
0:35:11 > 0:35:13# Look at the clouds today
0:35:13 > 0:35:15# Look at the clouds today
0:35:15 > 0:35:18# They sure got funny shapes
0:35:18 > 0:35:21# They sure got funny shapes
0:35:21 > 0:35:24# Glory, glory, glory
0:35:24 > 0:35:29# To the world
0:35:30 > 0:35:34# Glory, glory, glory
0:35:34 > 0:35:37# To the world
0:35:39 > 0:35:41# Look at the flowers today
0:35:41 > 0:35:43# Look at the flowers today
0:35:43 > 0:35:46# They make a crazy place
0:35:46 > 0:35:48# They make a crazy place...
0:35:49 > 0:35:51Hi.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55# They make a crazy place
0:35:55 > 0:35:58# They make a crazy place
0:35:58 > 0:36:02# Glory, glory, glory
0:36:02 > 0:36:04# To the world #
0:36:06 > 0:36:09Mum, can we get a boat?
0:36:09 > 0:36:11So, who are we, then?
0:36:11 > 0:36:14Are we more like the man in the gutter
0:36:14 > 0:36:17- or the people with the boat? - We're in the middle.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20Would you say we were middle class, Ross?
0:36:22 > 0:36:25- What?- We're in the middle. But not in the middle of the middle.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28I wish we were a bit more in the middle of the middle.
0:36:28 > 0:36:32- Chicken nuggets!- Mrs Leary says no chicken should have to die
0:36:32 > 0:36:35- to be a nugget. - Five dollars max each.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38- A Happy Meal's five dollars. - It won't be a real Happy Meal.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41- You get a toy. That's a Happy Meal. - No, it's not!
0:36:41 > 0:36:44We're not at a McDonald's, you idiot! Mum!
0:36:44 > 0:36:47SONG: "The World's Got Everything In It" by Uncle Bill
0:36:50 > 0:36:53# Yeah, the world's got everything in it
0:36:53 > 0:36:56# It's got news right up to the minute
0:36:56 > 0:36:59# It's got truth and lies and the dumb and the wise
0:36:59 > 0:37:02# It's got a hide but you can't skin it
0:37:02 > 0:37:05# Yeah, the world's got everything in it
0:37:05 > 0:37:08# It took a lightning bolt to begin it
0:37:08 > 0:37:12# It's got a big back yard with the Marquis de Sade
0:37:12 > 0:37:14# It's got variety without limit #
0:37:14 > 0:37:17There. Go... Go left here.
0:37:17 > 0:37:19Sorry.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21SHE SIGHS
0:37:21 > 0:37:23- Sorry. - SHE CHUCKLES
0:37:23 > 0:37:27It's the other way. Used to be able to read maps.
0:37:27 > 0:37:31- Well, maybe you're just tired today. - I'm not tired.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33My whole brain's changed.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Have I changed?
0:37:35 > 0:37:38- Have I changed, kids? - Don't ask them that.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41Oh, they're not listening. Nobody listens.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44What? TYRES SQUEAL / CRASHING
0:37:44 > 0:37:47- Oh! Are you all right?- Are you OK?
0:37:51 > 0:37:54What the fuck do you think you're doing?
0:37:54 > 0:37:56Sorry. I thought I had right of way.
0:37:56 > 0:38:01Sorry? You could've fucking killed me, you fucking stupid tourist, with your fucking theme parks!
0:38:01 > 0:38:05Why don't you stay in your frigid little fucking suburbs?
0:38:05 > 0:38:07Oh, fuck!
0:38:14 > 0:38:17How can the suburbs be frigid AND fucking?
0:38:17 > 0:38:21I think this lilo has a slow leak.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27What are we going to do if we can't get the car fixed by Friday?
0:38:27 > 0:38:32I hope they write it off. Can't even afford the excess.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38I've got to get a job.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Oh, you're lucky you're working.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43If we crashed our car we'd be up the creek.
0:38:43 > 0:38:48They don't offer you jobs at 61. My dad lived until he was 88.
0:38:48 > 0:38:52We worked, we paid taxes, so we'd get the pension when we were older.
0:38:52 > 0:38:57And now it's just... It's superannuation and tax advice,
0:38:57 > 0:38:59and you end up with the bloody same situation!
0:38:59 > 0:39:02Financial advisors...
0:39:02 > 0:39:05You know, there used to be no such thing as dog food?
0:39:05 > 0:39:09They just used to eat scraps. It's a whole industry built on air.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14I wish they wouldn't change the packaging. I forget which one I get.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17- There's so many.- Don't ask me.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19I get a headache, I call an ambulance.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22That won't happen again. Got nit stuff for the kids' baths?
0:39:28 > 0:39:30Already!
0:39:38 > 0:39:41I'd forget I'd bought it and get more next Christmas.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44I'm forgetting a lot these days.
0:39:44 > 0:39:46You're preaching to the choir, dear.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52SONG: "Hands Up In The Air"
0:39:54 > 0:39:57WOMEN SINGING IN HARMONY
0:40:03 > 0:40:06# Swim this shallow bay
0:40:06 > 0:40:09# And enjoy this sunny day
0:40:09 > 0:40:13# The weather is changeable
0:40:13 > 0:40:14# Around the world
0:40:14 > 0:40:17# Ships go by
0:40:17 > 0:40:18# My lovely beach
0:40:18 > 0:40:21# I'm willing it to pass me by
0:40:21 > 0:40:24- # Na-na-na-na-na - # If you are sinking
0:40:24 > 0:40:26- # Na-na-na-na-na - # Hands up in the air
0:40:26 > 0:40:29- # Na-na-na-na-na - # If you are drowning
0:40:29 > 0:40:32- # Na-na-na-na-na - # Hands up in the air
0:40:32 > 0:40:33# Na, na-na-na, na-na
0:40:33 > 0:40:36# Hands up in the air #
0:40:36 > 0:40:40You might be thinking it's too hot. It's too hard.
0:40:40 > 0:40:43It's too early for a practice game.
0:40:43 > 0:40:47But where would we be if they'd thought like that at Gallipoli?
0:40:47 > 0:40:51What are your legs? Steel springs.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54What are they going to do? Hurl me down that track!
0:40:56 > 0:41:00The ANZACs didn't let their mates down, didn't let themselves down.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03- All mates. All volunteers. - PLANE ENGINE ROARS
0:41:04 > 0:41:09Ross? Never been assistant coach before, have you?
0:41:09 > 0:41:14Imagine yourselves carrying your country's honour on your back.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16Didn't we lose at Gallipoli?
0:41:16 > 0:41:21# He's the number-one man in this community
0:41:21 > 0:41:25# He's got credibility
0:41:25 > 0:41:26# And folks all know his name
0:41:26 > 0:41:29# Running round the clock... #
0:41:29 > 0:41:30Oi! Umpire!
0:41:30 > 0:41:33Run and tell Louis and Thommo,
0:41:33 > 0:41:35neutralise the big kid from Altona.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38- WHISTLE BLOWING Er...- Team up on him.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40Trip him. Sledge him!
0:41:40 > 0:41:42They've got to learn!
0:41:45 > 0:41:47Right. Er...
0:41:47 > 0:41:49Just, er...
0:41:52 > 0:41:54Just...do your best, all right?
0:41:55 > 0:41:57Try hard.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Yep?
0:41:59 > 0:42:01WHISTLE BLOWING
0:42:04 > 0:42:07DOG GROWLS HAPPILY
0:42:21 > 0:42:23HE SIGHS
0:42:23 > 0:42:26- It's not going to fit. - Just get rid of a couple.
0:42:26 > 0:42:31I can't. There has to be 42. They're all the gods of the afterlife.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34You have to confess to them to get into heaven. It's heaps cool.
0:42:34 > 0:42:3742 confessions? Are there 42 sins?
0:42:37 > 0:42:39Yeah.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Number 35.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44"I have not fouled running water."
0:42:47 > 0:42:52Number 32. "I have not multiplied my speech beyond what should be said."
0:42:54 > 0:42:58The God of Babbling. Hah! I'd never get into heaven.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00I feel like I haven't shut up for ten years.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02I used to have this boyfriend.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05He used to say I drove him nuts cos I never spoke.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11Number eight. "I have not eaten my heart."
0:43:17 > 0:43:21Now, as a group, you've got 15 minutes to decide
0:43:21 > 0:43:24which five of these 20 people are going to get on board
0:43:24 > 0:43:27the only airship to escape the end of the world.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Now, you don't know what we're looking for, so just be yourselves.
0:43:30 > 0:43:33Over to you.
0:43:33 > 0:43:36Well, Princess Di would have to go. She was so spiritual.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39Spiritual? You've got the pope here!
0:43:39 > 0:43:42Well, he's only spiritual for the Catholics.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44Stephen Hawking, for sure. We need his brain.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48- But who would look after him? - Well, maybe Princess Di,
0:43:48 > 0:43:51seeing she's so spiritual.
0:43:55 > 0:43:57I like Clive Owen.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07I can't believe they left Princess Di behind.
0:44:07 > 0:44:11I can't believe they had to go in an airship.
0:44:15 > 0:44:18"A lucky escape for this zebra."
0:44:19 > 0:44:22The blonde one's the hottest.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27- I hate fat chicks! - GREG CHUCKLES
0:44:27 > 0:44:31- So, where you going for this adults-only weekend?- Just the Hyatt.
0:44:31 > 0:44:33Revealing my new tattoo to Greg...
0:44:33 > 0:44:35- very slowly.- A tattoo?
0:44:35 > 0:44:39You got to be on to it. I'm the same age that Mandy was
0:44:39 > 0:44:41when Greg left her for me.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Oh, I don't think that he would...
0:44:43 > 0:44:47I don't know. He's so distracted lately.
0:44:47 > 0:44:49Just gets on top, pumps away...
0:44:49 > 0:44:52- Then... - SHE IMITATES SNORING
0:44:54 > 0:44:57I like Daniel Cross best.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00Or him. He's gorgeous.
0:45:00 > 0:45:04Yeah. He's all right. He's just been injury-plagued this season.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06DOOR CREAKS
0:45:08 > 0:45:13- Why aren't you watching the DVD? - Please! We're not in kindergarten.
0:45:13 > 0:45:16- Keep the door open.- Yeah, right!
0:45:18 > 0:45:21Oh, my God! No offence. Just, you know...
0:45:23 > 0:45:28I just feel like I'm missing out. How many times a week do you guys have sex?
0:45:31 > 0:45:37- The, er, kids OK?- Oh, they're watching High School...Something.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39- CHILD SCREAMING - It's horrible!- Gross!
0:45:39 > 0:45:41I didn't think it was scary!
0:45:41 > 0:45:44- Oh, my God.- Yuck!- Is it dead?
0:45:44 > 0:45:47Did we kill it?
0:45:47 > 0:45:49- Let's have a funeral.- Yes!
0:45:57 > 0:46:01I want to be a nun when I grow up. It's cool what they get to wear.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04- You have to be a virgin. - You're such a runt!
0:46:04 > 0:46:08- And you have to believe in God. - Mum, do we believe in God?
0:46:08 > 0:46:10Um...
0:46:11 > 0:46:14It's up to everyone to decide for themselves as they grow up,
0:46:14 > 0:46:18but it is nice to...believe in things.
0:46:18 > 0:46:21- KNOCKING AT DOOR - She's here.- Oh, my God!
0:46:21 > 0:46:24We thank the Lord for this happy family,
0:46:24 > 0:46:28and the gifts they've been given, and pray they have strength and health.
0:46:28 > 0:46:32We thank the Lord for the pleasure Puffybrains has given the children,
0:46:32 > 0:46:35and pray that all God's creatures, great and small,
0:46:35 > 0:46:37are given the same love and care the world over.
0:46:37 > 0:46:40- Amen.- Can we sing a song?
0:46:40 > 0:46:43I think that's a good idea.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51SINGING IN DISTANCE
0:46:54 > 0:46:57# Bulldogs through and through
0:46:58 > 0:47:00# Bulldogs bite
0:47:00 > 0:47:02# And Bulldogs roar
0:47:02 > 0:47:06# We give our very best
0:47:06 > 0:47:09# But you can't beat the boys of the Bulldog breed
0:47:09 > 0:47:13- # We're the team of the mighty west # - Yes!
0:47:13 > 0:47:16Yes! Whoo!
0:47:17 > 0:47:19- Hey, Dad!- Hi, Uncle Ross!
0:47:19 > 0:47:21- Hey.- Hi, Uncle Ross.
0:47:26 > 0:47:30We had, er, a funeral for Puffybrains. The fish.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34- And Margaret kindly...- Margaret?
0:47:34 > 0:47:38Margie Allen! Oh, you're Margie Allen!
0:47:38 > 0:47:41- Local Talent.- The band.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44I didn't even recognise you. Oh, God!
0:47:44 > 0:47:48I loved that song. Er, Sex...something.
0:47:48 > 0:47:51- Sex...- Sex Symbol. One-hit wonders.
0:47:51 > 0:47:53You remember the '80s?
0:47:53 > 0:47:56Ross is the only one.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58He was the good boy behind the mixing desk.
0:47:58 > 0:48:02You were great live. I remember this one gig at the Prince, and you...
0:48:04 > 0:48:06It was great.
0:48:16 > 0:48:19I can't believe Louis cared so much about that fish.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22He barely looked at it when it was alive.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25I can't believe your Margaret is Margie Allen.
0:48:25 > 0:48:29Still, I guess she did have a pretty serious drug problem.
0:48:29 > 0:48:32- What's that supposed to mean? - Well, you know...
0:48:32 > 0:48:34Most converts come from a pretty low base.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39They can't wait to inflict their beliefs on everyone else.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41Worse than ex-smokers.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44She just believes what she believes.
0:48:44 > 0:48:47Has she tried to convert you?
0:48:47 > 0:48:50Has she? Eh? Praise the Lord!
0:48:51 > 0:48:53No.
0:48:55 > 0:48:58Well, I wouldn't let her baby-sit.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09SONG: "Just A Little Bit Of Rain" by Mick Harvey
0:49:15 > 0:49:19# If I should leave you now...
0:49:20 > 0:49:23SPORTS COMMENTARY # Try to remember
0:49:23 > 0:49:26# Good times
0:49:27 > 0:49:31# Warm days in the sunshine
0:49:33 > 0:49:37# And just a little bit of rain
0:49:41 > 0:49:44# And if I look back
0:49:46 > 0:49:48# Try to remember
0:49:48 > 0:49:51# The good times... #
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Why don't you just get on top and start,
0:49:58 > 0:50:02so that we don't have time to get...thingy,
0:50:02 > 0:50:06and we can worry about it being good once we've got the first time out of the way?
0:50:07 > 0:50:10Gee, you make it sound so attractive!
0:50:10 > 0:50:12Well, don't, then.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29THEY CHUCKLE
0:50:35 > 0:50:38- Where are the condoms? What... - I don't know.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Why can't I ever find anything in this bloody house?
0:50:50 > 0:50:52"For paying accounts, press 2."
0:50:52 > 0:50:55Can't decide where to have my birthday party.
0:50:55 > 0:50:59- We might not have one this year. - What? Louis went to Laser Force,
0:50:59 > 0:51:01and I haven't been to La La Land, Tickety Boo,
0:51:01 > 0:51:04- the Fairy Cave... - I'm sure you went to the Fairy Cave.
0:51:04 > 0:51:08Not for MY birthday. That's when you get to sit on the fairy throne.
0:51:11 > 0:51:15- Can I have a makeover party like Georgia had?- No way!
0:51:15 > 0:51:17- Just at home? - You're turning eight, Ruby.
0:51:17 > 0:51:20Hurry up. You haven't cleaned your teeth, Louis.
0:51:20 > 0:51:23- I'm going to be late for work. - You're not even dressed.
0:51:23 > 0:51:26- Yes, I am. - Has anyone seen my car keys?
0:51:26 > 0:51:29We need to get some order around here.
0:51:29 > 0:51:33I try, but people put stuff back in a new place every time.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36- I can find things in my shed. - Because nobody else goes near it.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38We all have to have the same order.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41You can't just have your own selfish-bastard order.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44- Swear jar! - All right. Don't get stressed.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47If you don't want me stressed, you could do a bit more around here.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50- I help out a lot. - It's not about help.
0:51:50 > 0:51:54It's about taking stuff on. Me giving you the shopping list
0:51:54 > 0:51:56- is not the same as you doing the shopping.- Dad?
0:51:56 > 0:51:59Can I have a makeover party for my birthday?
0:51:59 > 0:52:01- Georgia had one.- Er...
0:52:01 > 0:52:04- Yes. I don't see why not.- Yes!
0:52:04 > 0:52:08- "Thank you for holding." - Your decision. Your job.
0:52:08 > 0:52:10I was just... HE SIGHS
0:52:10 > 0:52:12Just get yourself a party company.
0:52:12 > 0:52:15Consider yourself lucky she's just turning eight.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17We had to get security when Georgia turned 13.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20You can claim that, though.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23You know, in some countries...
0:52:23 > 0:52:25they don't have a rich list.
0:52:25 > 0:52:28They have a highest-taxpayer list.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30Like... Why?
0:52:31 > 0:52:33You know, for pride.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35HE GRUNTS
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Ooh, ooh, ooh!
0:52:41 > 0:52:43SHE LAUGHS
0:52:47 > 0:52:49Popcorn...
0:52:50 > 0:52:54- Can I, um...help with anything? - We're right, thanks.
0:53:01 > 0:53:06SONG: "Venus" by Bananarama
0:53:06 > 0:53:09Right! First up we have...Paris!
0:53:09 > 0:53:11THEY CHEER AND SHOUT
0:53:13 > 0:53:16Thank you, Paris. Next we have Graydon.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19PARTY MUSIC CONTINUES
0:53:22 > 0:53:24- Nice work, Graydon. Thank you. - What a loser!
0:53:24 > 0:53:27Now we have Nikki!
0:53:28 > 0:53:32- Australia's next top model! - Great work.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35And now, last but not least,
0:53:35 > 0:53:39the birthday girl herself - it's Ruby!
0:53:41 > 0:53:43Do you want a go?
0:53:45 > 0:53:48Here's Ruby! CHEERING
0:53:53 > 0:53:56- Big round of applause for Ruby! - Come on, Rube!
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Fantastic stuff!
0:54:03 > 0:54:06My tooth! I have to find it for the Tooth Fairy!
0:54:06 > 0:54:10It's all right, Ruby. We'll find it. Look, it's here.
0:54:10 > 0:54:13There we go. Now, you go put that in a...
0:54:30 > 0:54:33Who cut it last time?
0:54:33 > 0:54:36Er...no-one.
0:54:36 > 0:54:39No-one didn't do a very good job, did they?
0:54:44 > 0:54:47SHE SOBS
0:54:47 > 0:54:49Shit!
0:54:59 > 0:55:01SCREAMING
0:55:04 > 0:55:06As you both know only too well, satiety,
0:55:06 > 0:55:08the feeling that you've had enough to eat,
0:55:08 > 0:55:11is affected by a huge list of factors -
0:55:11 > 0:55:15how we're feeling psychologically, if we've grown up in a household
0:55:15 > 0:55:18where not having two helpings is an insult to a parent's cooking,
0:55:18 > 0:55:20whether we eat in front of the telly,
0:55:20 > 0:55:23whether our brains have quirks in their appetite centres.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30Maybe I should just jump before I'm pushed.
0:55:30 > 0:55:33Tim's keen to start a business.
0:55:33 > 0:55:35Con got a gig on the Sherbet reunion tour.
0:55:35 > 0:55:38SHE GRUNTS Oh, I don't know what to do.
0:55:38 > 0:55:40I don't know what to do either.
0:55:40 > 0:55:42About us.
0:55:44 > 0:55:46About...
0:55:47 > 0:55:50I bought some condoms.
0:55:50 > 0:55:52SHE SNEEZES
0:55:52 > 0:55:54Oh!
0:55:57 > 0:56:00SHE COUGHS AND SNIFFS
0:56:00 > 0:56:02MURMUR OF CONVERSATION
0:56:02 > 0:56:05Yes, I understand that, but...
0:56:06 > 0:56:09- Easter egg! - I understand that you're upset.
0:56:09 > 0:56:13Customer relations. Can I get your account details, please?
0:56:13 > 0:56:16- Egg?- But, madam, I'm not in India! I'm in Australia.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19- Yeah, yeah. I promise you. - Take a bloody egg!
0:56:20 > 0:56:23Hello? Hello?
0:56:24 > 0:56:26HE SIGHS
0:56:26 > 0:56:29She's the team leader. Be nice to her.
0:56:29 > 0:56:32Sick leave is at her discretion.
0:56:35 > 0:56:37Oh...
0:56:41 > 0:56:42Oh!
0:56:42 > 0:56:44SHE GASPS
0:56:46 > 0:56:47SHE SNEEZES
0:56:50 > 0:56:54I'm sorry. I had to sneeze.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57I can't suppress them. I had an aneurysm.
0:56:57 > 0:57:01I knew a guy who had one of those. He died.
0:57:05 > 0:57:09Death...loneliness...
0:57:10 > 0:57:12..fear...
0:57:13 > 0:57:15..the anguish we can feel about a life
0:57:15 > 0:57:18that hasn't turned out the way we thought it would.
0:57:20 > 0:57:23The daily worries about the safety of our children,
0:57:23 > 0:57:27the care of our aged, disabled and sick.
0:57:28 > 0:57:32- Our feelings of hopelessness... - Ssh! Girls! Stop it.
0:57:32 > 0:57:35How can we live like this?
0:57:35 > 0:57:38How can we have so little respect
0:57:38 > 0:57:41for our wonderfully complex world?
0:57:42 > 0:57:46Answer - we can't.
0:57:46 > 0:57:48We need God.
0:57:48 > 0:57:52God, who can take the burden from our shoulders.
0:57:54 > 0:57:56Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
0:57:56 > 0:57:58- Amen.- Amen.
0:58:02 > 0:58:04Ruby, come play with us! Come on.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23How do you do it?
0:58:25 > 0:58:26You know...
0:58:26 > 0:58:28This?
0:58:30 > 0:58:33You...accept Jesus died for you.
0:58:35 > 0:58:38Well, I can do that. It's not up to me to say why he died.
0:58:38 > 0:58:41And that he's the son of God.
0:58:43 > 0:58:49As a metaphor, like God creating the world in seven days, or...
0:58:49 > 0:58:52do you actually have to...
0:58:52 > 0:58:54believe that he...
0:58:55 > 0:58:57I believe he did.
0:58:58 > 0:59:02And Jesus died...and rose up?
0:59:03 > 0:59:06And heaven? Like it's a...
0:59:06 > 0:59:08place...
0:59:10 > 0:59:12..where you and I could have a glass of wine?
0:59:12 > 0:59:14THEY CHUCKLE
0:59:26 > 0:59:28RAUNCHY MUSIC
0:59:30 > 0:59:34- HE SWITCHES OFF - Where's Friday Night Footy?
0:59:34 > 0:59:36It's Good Friday.
0:59:36 > 0:59:38- So?- It's like Christmas.
0:59:38 > 0:59:41Religious significance.
0:59:42 > 0:59:45But...what if you're, like, Jewish or Muslim?
0:59:45 > 0:59:48Why can't they have their footy?
0:59:48 > 0:59:50HE SIGHS
0:59:50 > 0:59:52Well...
0:59:53 > 0:59:56"We'll be showing you a series of lap-dance moves
0:59:56 > 0:59:59that will help to tone and strengthen your entire body,
0:59:59 > 1:00:02especially your thighs, abs and butt."
1:00:02 > 1:00:06"We'll be showing you moves that, at the end of the workout,
1:00:06 > 1:00:10will form a fantastic, sexy routine, great for fitness or for fun."
1:00:10 > 1:00:13METALLIC RATTLING
1:00:25 > 1:00:27RATTLING STOPS
1:00:44 > 1:00:46DRYER ROARS
1:00:46 > 1:00:49WHINE OF DYING POWER SHE SIGHS
1:00:49 > 1:00:51DOOR CREAKING
1:00:51 > 1:00:53- RUBY CHATTERING In you go.- Hey, Mum?
1:00:53 > 1:00:58Victory! We got storage solutions.
1:00:58 > 1:01:01Storage solutions!
1:01:01 > 1:01:03CHILDREN CHATTERING DOG BARKING
1:01:04 > 1:01:06Why is the power off?
1:01:06 > 1:01:09Dryer blew up.
1:01:09 > 1:01:12A punishment for using it when it wasn't raining.
1:01:12 > 1:01:14HE SIGHS
1:01:24 > 1:01:28WOMEN SINGING # We're gonna keep on walking forward
1:01:28 > 1:01:33# Keep on walking forward
1:01:33 > 1:01:36# Keep on walking forward
1:01:36 > 1:01:39# Never turning back
1:01:39 > 1:01:42# Never turning back
1:01:42 > 1:01:46# We're gonna keep on walking proudly
1:01:46 > 1:01:49# Keep on walking proudly...
1:01:57 > 1:02:00Shall I do the eggs for the kids?
1:02:00 > 1:02:04They had eggs last night. There's leftover chicken in the fridge.
1:02:05 > 1:02:07Easter eggs.
1:02:09 > 1:02:12- Didn't really get any. - What about the Easter bunny?
1:02:12 > 1:02:14Surely they're old enough to cope without him.
1:02:14 > 1:02:17Children their age work in mines.
1:02:17 > 1:02:22# We're gonna keep on singing loudly
1:02:22 > 1:02:26# Keep on singing loudly
1:02:26 > 1:02:30# Keep on singing loudly
1:02:30 > 1:02:33# Never turning back
1:02:33 > 1:02:35# Never turning back
1:02:35 > 1:02:39# We're gonna keep on loving boldly
1:02:39 > 1:02:43# Keep on loving boldly
1:02:44 > 1:02:48# Keep on loving boldly
1:02:48 > 1:02:51# Never turning back #
1:03:10 > 1:03:11Kids?
1:03:11 > 1:03:14Come on. Hurry up.
1:03:18 > 1:03:21Mum, my tooth's really wobbly.
1:03:21 > 1:03:23Well, just keep wobbling it.
1:03:23 > 1:03:26It's really loose.
1:03:33 > 1:03:36- My head's itchy.- Jesus...
1:03:37 > 1:03:39DOG BARKING
1:03:44 > 1:03:45THEY GROWL
1:03:45 > 1:03:48BIG DOG SNARLS
1:03:48 > 1:03:50Get it off! Get it off!
1:03:50 > 1:03:54- Get it away!- Help!
1:03:57 > 1:04:00- Are you all right? - No! I'm not all right!
1:04:00 > 1:04:02- Is that your dog? - No! I'm just trying to help!
1:04:02 > 1:04:06- Sorry.- I'll call the council. - I'll give you a lift to the vet.
1:04:06 > 1:04:09Is she going to be all right?
1:04:11 > 1:04:13She's going to be fine.
1:04:13 > 1:04:17Now, would you invest in a painting? A horse, perhaps, or a car?
1:04:17 > 1:04:22- Where'd you get that? - New contract caterers have taken over the canteen.
1:04:23 > 1:04:26- Bite?- Is it the church one?
1:04:26 > 1:04:29The one that has a burger chain and runs the prisons?
1:04:30 > 1:04:34I don't know. It's a hot dog. It comes with mustard and onion.
1:04:34 > 1:04:38Tim, you know you're not supposed to be eating near the equipment anyway.
1:04:58 > 1:05:00The dog was very big...
1:05:00 > 1:05:04with one of those massive heads and jaws.
1:05:06 > 1:05:09I rushed to protect my children.
1:05:09 > 1:05:11Ho, ho.
1:05:13 > 1:05:14- PHONE RINGS - Customer relations.
1:05:14 > 1:05:17I thought it was bigger than that.
1:05:17 > 1:05:19- It looks cute.- Is that the same dog?
1:05:21 > 1:05:25I can't do it. I can't be responsible for putting a dog down.
1:05:25 > 1:05:29- What if it attacks another puppy? - What if it was on heat
1:05:29 > 1:05:32and just got out that once? What if it's some family's pet?
1:05:32 > 1:05:35- What if it attacked a baby? - We can't kill something
1:05:35 > 1:05:38- just in case it does something. - They're going to kill it?
1:05:38 > 1:05:40Well, that's what "putting down" means, Lou.
1:05:40 > 1:05:42You don't have to reply.
1:05:42 > 1:05:46Well, something happens if you do nothing.
1:05:46 > 1:05:48- Tell the truth.- But what truth?
1:05:48 > 1:05:53Well, that Bubblehead's at the vet on a life support we can't afford.
1:05:53 > 1:05:57Mum, you told me that Bubblehead would be all right.
1:05:59 > 1:06:01Maybe you should've been honest.
1:06:01 > 1:06:04My tooth came out.
1:06:07 > 1:06:10HE MOANS
1:06:14 > 1:06:17SONG: "Mr E's Beautiful Blues" by The Eels
1:06:22 > 1:06:27# The smokestack spitting black soot into the sooty sky...
1:06:27 > 1:06:29THEY CHEER
1:06:30 > 1:06:32OK. We're in front.
1:06:32 > 1:06:36We've only got a minute left. Ross? Tell them to maintain possession.
1:06:36 > 1:06:40Backwards passes round the outside. Stall. No kicks for goal.
1:06:40 > 1:06:43- Come on! Bring it on, Roosters! - Boys! To me!
1:06:45 > 1:06:47Listen! Maintain possession. Small passes.
1:06:47 > 1:06:51Don't let them get their hands on it. And no shots for goal.
1:06:51 > 1:06:53OK? THEY SHOUT
1:06:54 > 1:06:56WHISTLE BLOWING
1:06:56 > 1:06:59Let's go!
1:07:00 > 1:07:02# The kids flip their lids
1:07:02 > 1:07:06# When their ids hear that crazy sound...
1:07:06 > 1:07:09Louis! No kicks for goal!
1:07:09 > 1:07:12- Pass it back, Louis! - Kick it backwards!
1:07:13 > 1:07:16- Go on! - THEY SHOUT
1:07:16 > 1:07:18Louis! Louis, over here to me!
1:07:23 > 1:07:25Good boy!
1:07:26 > 1:07:28HORN BLARES Yes!
1:07:28 > 1:07:34# Well, I don't know how you take in all the shit you see
1:07:37 > 1:07:39# No, don't believe anyone
1:07:39 > 1:07:42# And most of all don't believe me
1:07:45 > 1:07:48# Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day
1:07:48 > 1:07:52# Oh, goddamn right, it's a beautiful day #
1:07:58 > 1:08:01They should just play the game. Doesn't matter who wins.
1:08:01 > 1:08:03Just cos it doesn't matter to you.
1:08:03 > 1:08:07- They worked really hard all season. - It's the under 12s!
1:08:07 > 1:08:10- Louis wanted to win. - Louis wanted to play the game.
1:08:10 > 1:08:13- Using tactics IS the game. - It's not chess, Ross.
1:08:13 > 1:08:17It's a bunch of kids running around a field with a ball, playing.
1:08:17 > 1:08:19You're turning into Greg.
1:08:19 > 1:08:23Into a man who looks after his family, spends time with his kids?
1:08:23 > 1:08:26From three wives that he cheated on like he cheats on his tax.
1:08:34 > 1:08:37- How long has it been?- 18 days.
1:08:37 > 1:08:42Wow! It's like a record, even for the Tooth Fairy.
1:08:45 > 1:08:48I don't think she'd going to come.
1:08:49 > 1:08:52- She will.- It's not like you were ever a blokey bloke.
1:08:52 > 1:08:56You haven't fixed the dryer. You can't put this IKEA stuff together.
1:08:56 > 1:08:59You burn everything on the barbecue. You're a crap driver,
1:08:59 > 1:09:02and now it's all this blokey crap football crap
1:09:02 > 1:09:05- instead of fair play! - Fair play?!- Yeah!
1:09:05 > 1:09:07You know, ever since you started going to church -
1:09:07 > 1:09:10What the fuck has church got to do with it?
1:09:10 > 1:09:13Margaret sucked you in when you were vulnerable.
1:09:13 > 1:09:16- Maybe I needed someone. - Right. But not me.
1:09:16 > 1:09:20Not the bloke who sat by your bed for ten days while you nearly died.
1:09:20 > 1:09:23You did die! Did you even think for one second
1:09:23 > 1:09:26what that was like for me?
1:09:27 > 1:09:30- I was unconscious!- Oh!
1:09:30 > 1:09:33Right! So that means I wasn't really there.
1:09:33 > 1:09:35She listens.
1:09:35 > 1:09:40I spend my whole life listening, Nat. I do nothing but listen.
1:09:40 > 1:09:44And what do you listen to, Ross? Background noise and...
1:09:44 > 1:09:47- decibels and... - SHE SOBS
1:09:48 > 1:09:53..whether or not people can sing in tune!
1:09:53 > 1:09:55SHE SOBS
1:09:56 > 1:09:58Mess everywhere!
1:10:17 > 1:10:20- Hi.- Hi!
1:10:20 > 1:10:23I hope you don't mind me... I... You look great!
1:10:23 > 1:10:27Um, what do you think? Too much?
1:10:27 > 1:10:30- Too much for...- I've got a date.
1:10:34 > 1:10:38- He's a little bit older than that. - Does he know you're a priest?
1:10:38 > 1:10:41Not yet. We've only met for coffee.
1:10:41 > 1:10:44But I felt like there was really something...
1:10:45 > 1:10:47I like Paul.
1:10:47 > 1:10:51The name. It's the apostle. The Beatle.
1:10:53 > 1:10:56- Come with me.- On your date?
1:10:56 > 1:10:59Please. Please come. We can say we just bumped into each other.
1:10:59 > 1:11:04No. I'll just say I wanted him to meet one of my friends.
1:11:07 > 1:11:11What kind of guy would arrange to meet here?
1:11:11 > 1:11:13Well, not an epileptic.
1:11:13 > 1:11:17I suppose they give heaps back to charity through taxes.
1:11:17 > 1:11:19Robbing the poor to give to the poor.
1:11:19 > 1:11:22Look, I really should go.
1:11:22 > 1:11:24Please stay just till he comes.
1:11:24 > 1:11:27We didn't try and cheat, did we, Dad?
1:11:27 > 1:11:29No, Louis, we didn't.
1:11:34 > 1:11:37There are your friends. Go. Have fun.
1:11:37 > 1:11:39Meet you back here at nine.
1:11:42 > 1:11:44Can we see that, Dad?
1:11:46 > 1:11:49Er... Look, I think we might go visit Uncle Greg.
1:11:51 > 1:11:54DOOR BANGING
1:11:54 > 1:11:56- Hi.- Hi!
1:11:58 > 1:12:02- What are you buying?- Auntie Winona thinks we need a new kitchen.
1:12:02 > 1:12:05I've no idea why. This one's practically brand new.
1:12:05 > 1:12:07A, it's a carbon-neutral nightmare,
1:12:07 > 1:12:09B, Adrian can never clean it properly,
1:12:09 > 1:12:11and C, I obviously don't get enough sex.
1:12:11 > 1:12:14Don't you ever marry an older man, Ruby.
1:12:14 > 1:12:17You go for someone who's young and hot,
1:12:17 > 1:12:19and who's prepared to lick honey off your toes.
1:12:26 > 1:12:28Can't fight with Winona.
1:12:31 > 1:12:34All our unencumbered stuff - the house, the blue-chips -
1:12:34 > 1:12:37they're in her name. All the high-risk stuff,
1:12:37 > 1:12:39the margin lending - that's in my name.
1:12:41 > 1:12:44Everything's geared against everything else.
1:12:44 > 1:12:49It's so complex. I don't know whether we're winning or losing most of the time.
1:12:49 > 1:12:51Capitalism! It's exhausting.
1:13:09 > 1:13:12I don't know what God wants for me.
1:13:13 > 1:13:15Why does he give me these feelings and...
1:13:15 > 1:13:18then not answer my prayers?
1:13:18 > 1:13:20I still want to...
1:13:21 > 1:13:24..share my life with someone,
1:13:24 > 1:13:26as well as God.
1:13:35 > 1:13:37I've been trying to pray.
1:13:39 > 1:13:42I'm sorry. I just...
1:13:42 > 1:13:45can't believe in something having control.
1:13:45 > 1:13:49I've tried. Believe me, it would've been so much easier
1:13:49 > 1:13:52than "why am I here, what's it all for, who's steering the boat".
1:13:55 > 1:13:57Me believing in God is...
1:13:58 > 1:14:02- ..like you believing in Santa Claus. - I do believe in Santa Claus.
1:14:06 > 1:14:09SHE LAUGHS
1:14:12 > 1:14:16Seriously, do you believe I will go to hell if I don't believe in God?
1:14:16 > 1:14:18It's not me.
1:14:18 > 1:14:21It's what it says in the Bible.
1:14:21 > 1:14:23That's what God says.
1:14:31 > 1:14:33One more drink?
1:14:57 > 1:14:59Have a go!
1:14:59 > 1:15:02- Or aren't priests allowed? - No! It's not...
1:15:02 > 1:15:04Well, it's trying to get something for nothing.
1:15:04 > 1:15:08Someone has to lose for you to win, so it's not loving your neighbour.
1:15:08 > 1:15:11- Isn't faith a gamble? - No. It's faith.
1:15:11 > 1:15:14Go on! I dare you.
1:15:14 > 1:15:17See if God punishes us.
1:15:17 > 1:15:20Go on! One little push.
1:15:20 > 1:15:22There we go!
1:15:25 > 1:15:27Oh!
1:15:27 > 1:15:29Ooh!
1:15:30 > 1:15:33CLATTERING OF COINS CONTINUES
1:15:33 > 1:15:38MACHINE MAKES WHINNYING AND "YEE-HAH" SOUNDS
1:15:52 > 1:15:54Hey.
1:15:54 > 1:15:56Hello.
1:15:56 > 1:15:58Having a good night?
1:15:58 > 1:16:01I'm just waiting for my friends. They're still in the movie.
1:16:01 > 1:16:03Didn't you like it?
1:16:03 > 1:16:06What's it about?
1:16:06 > 1:16:08Mostly boys kissing girls.
1:16:08 > 1:16:11You prefer boys?
1:16:12 > 1:16:14- To what?- To girls.
1:16:15 > 1:16:17- Depends.- On what?
1:16:17 > 1:16:19On what you're doing.
1:16:19 > 1:16:22Girls aren't as good at football.
1:16:23 > 1:16:26Except for Stacey. She's fantastic.
1:16:26 > 1:16:30I guess I meant... you know, sexy things.
1:16:35 > 1:16:37I don't know.
1:16:37 > 1:16:41I... I'm waiting till puberty till I decide.
1:16:41 > 1:16:43- How old are you?- 12.- Oh.
1:16:43 > 1:16:46You're a big boy for 12.
1:16:49 > 1:16:51So, who do you barrack for?
1:16:51 > 1:16:53'Pies.
1:17:07 > 1:17:10And he's gone! Holding the ball!
1:17:12 > 1:17:14What?
1:17:16 > 1:17:18Come on.
1:17:18 > 1:17:21Why didn't you like the movie?
1:17:21 > 1:17:23It was supposed to be funny.
1:17:26 > 1:17:29- You should've rung me. - I don't have a phone.
1:17:29 > 1:17:31Can I get one?
1:17:33 > 1:17:35Maybe.
1:17:40 > 1:17:44Look, I should've encouraged you to take that shot at goal.
1:17:44 > 1:17:46I might've missed.
1:17:46 > 1:17:50They might've got the ball, and they might've won.
1:17:50 > 1:17:53We won.
1:17:53 > 1:17:55Yeah.
1:17:58 > 1:18:01Yeah.
1:18:30 > 1:18:33SONG: "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate
1:18:33 > 1:18:35Yeah! Oh!
1:18:35 > 1:18:38Whoo!
1:18:42 > 1:18:45# I believe in miracles
1:18:46 > 1:18:48# Where you from
1:18:48 > 1:18:51# You sexy thing, you sexy thing, you?
1:18:51 > 1:18:55# I believe in miracles
1:18:55 > 1:18:57# Where you from
1:18:57 > 1:18:59# You sexy thing? #
1:19:45 > 1:19:47COINS JINGLE
1:20:01 > 1:20:03COINS RATTLE ON FLOOR
1:20:15 > 1:20:17SHE GROANS
1:20:50 > 1:20:53Mr Burton? You can come through now.
1:21:03 > 1:21:08I'm scared I've used up all my luck winning that stupid money.
1:21:14 > 1:21:16Can't change anything.
1:21:16 > 1:21:21- It is 25,000. - It'll barely dent the mortgage.
1:21:21 > 1:21:23- We've got 38 nit combs. - HE CHUCKLES
1:21:25 > 1:21:28What's Margaret doing with her share?
1:21:28 > 1:21:32She gave hers to missionaries in South America.
1:21:32 > 1:21:36Well, maybe we should give ours away.
1:21:36 > 1:21:39You know, to the...poor kids in Africa.
1:21:41 > 1:21:45I don't want to give it to Africa. There are people far richer
1:21:45 > 1:21:48having facials, and we've got a big fat mortgage.
1:21:51 > 1:21:53And I'd still go to hell.
1:21:55 > 1:21:57Because I don't believe in God.
1:21:58 > 1:22:01I have no faith.
1:22:02 > 1:22:04No belief.
1:22:04 > 1:22:06Nothing.
1:22:06 > 1:22:10- Neither do I. - Well, maybe you don't need anything.
1:22:10 > 1:22:12No, it's not that. It's just that...
1:22:12 > 1:22:17It's just that God isn't my explanation for stuff.
1:22:28 > 1:22:30Nerve-racking, isn't it?
1:22:30 > 1:22:33I just hope I fit in the machine.
1:22:33 > 1:22:35HE LAUGHS
1:22:35 > 1:22:38- Well, that's all you can do, isn't it?- Yeah.
1:22:43 > 1:22:45Hope.
1:23:09 > 1:23:11Guess what!
1:23:11 > 1:23:13I... I was just upstairs.
1:23:14 > 1:23:17Guess who they've made redundant!
1:23:17 > 1:23:19Me.
1:23:21 > 1:23:22Howard!
1:23:22 > 1:23:26And guess who they asked to take over his job as supervisor!
1:23:26 > 1:23:28Me!
1:23:34 > 1:23:36CROWD CHEERING
1:23:37 > 1:23:40COMMENTARY
1:23:44 > 1:23:46Dad!
1:23:46 > 1:23:49- Hey! How are you? You had a good day? - Yeah.
1:23:49 > 1:23:51- How are you, Chloe?- Good!
1:23:51 > 1:23:54Bloody traffic! Can I use your phone?
1:23:59 > 1:24:02Oh, mate, are you OK?
1:24:03 > 1:24:05We did it.
1:24:05 > 1:24:07We're in the final.
1:24:07 > 1:24:10I wasn't even wearing my lucky beanie, or my socks.
1:24:16 > 1:24:18THEY CHEER
1:24:24 > 1:24:26- PHONE RINGS - Oh, God!
1:24:26 > 1:24:30Hello! I'm sorry. I lost my phone. I'm just picking up the kids now.
1:24:30 > 1:24:35- Are you still at the doctor's? - Do you want to hear the good news or the good news?
1:24:35 > 1:24:38He said that, apart from my emotional retardation,
1:24:38 > 1:24:40everything is fine!
1:24:40 > 1:24:44I wouldn't call it emotional retardation.
1:24:44 > 1:24:46No? What would you call it?
1:24:46 > 1:24:48- "Gifted?"- You are.
1:24:49 > 1:24:52Emotionally gifted.
1:24:52 > 1:24:54Shall I pick you up?
1:24:54 > 1:24:59Um... No, no, no. I'm on the bus. I'll see you when I get home.
1:24:59 > 1:25:00OK?
1:25:00 > 1:25:03- "Bye."- Bye. Love you. - "Love you t-"...
1:25:06 > 1:25:08HE CHUCKLES
1:25:08 > 1:25:11For an event champagne, you can pay thousands.
1:25:11 > 1:25:15The best one we've got here is the Jacquesson, which is 330.
1:25:15 > 1:25:16Whoo!
1:25:16 > 1:25:20Is it three times better than that one?
1:25:20 > 1:25:23No. They go up by smaller and smaller degrees,
1:25:23 > 1:25:28and sometimes not at all, but, um... it's the emotion you're buying.
1:25:28 > 1:25:30- The declaration.- Um...
1:25:32 > 1:25:35I'll...take that one.
1:25:35 > 1:25:3830. Nice.
1:25:38 > 1:25:40DOOR CREAKS
1:25:43 > 1:25:45- SHE HUMS - Whoa!
1:25:46 > 1:25:50- SHE LAUGHS - Bugger! There goes my surprise!
1:25:52 > 1:25:53Sorry.
1:25:57 > 1:26:00THEY LAUGH
1:26:00 > 1:26:03- Happy early birthday.- Mmm!
1:26:03 > 1:26:05And...
1:26:08 > 1:26:11..I got you a cow in Sri Lanka,
1:26:11 > 1:26:13so you'd have two.
1:26:13 > 1:26:15SHE LAUGHS
1:26:25 > 1:26:28- Where are the kids? - They're at Greg's.
1:26:28 > 1:26:30He's bought them some new game.
1:26:32 > 1:26:35- I'm happy. - I know. It's good, isn't it?
1:26:35 > 1:26:39I mean, I've still got my yellow card, but I'm still in the game.
1:26:41 > 1:26:44For my next wife...
1:26:45 > 1:26:48..I'd choose you again.
1:27:01 > 1:27:03SONG: "Beautiful To Me" by Little Birdy
1:27:03 > 1:27:06# Go ahead, don't go
1:27:07 > 1:27:12# Don't leave my open arms all warm and go
1:27:12 > 1:27:14# See, I don't know
1:27:14 > 1:27:18# If you're here for me
1:27:19 > 1:27:21# You're beautiful
1:27:21 > 1:27:24# You're beautiful to me
1:27:27 > 1:27:29# You're beautiful
1:27:29 > 1:27:32# You're beautiful to me
1:27:42 > 1:27:46# And it's love, love, love
1:27:46 > 1:27:49# That is with me...
1:27:49 > 1:27:53Do you know, more copies of the IKEA catalogue are distributed each year
1:27:53 > 1:27:57than the Bible? That makes it the world's number-one book.
1:27:59 > 1:28:03First control IKEA... The universe will follow.
1:28:06 > 1:28:10# Well, look, the afternoon
1:28:10 > 1:28:13# Is the only place
1:28:13 > 1:28:16# Where you and I belong
1:28:16 > 1:28:18# You're mine
1:28:18 > 1:28:22# Forever and a day
1:28:22 > 1:28:24# You're beautiful
1:28:24 > 1:28:28# You're beautiful to me
1:28:30 > 1:28:32# You're beautiful
1:28:32 > 1:28:36# You're beautiful to me
1:28:40 > 1:28:43# Definitely
1:28:43 > 1:28:45# This cannot be all
1:28:45 > 1:28:50# That you have to offer, love
1:28:50 > 1:28:54# When you're on your own
1:28:54 > 1:28:58# Well, look, I fell in love
1:28:58 > 1:29:02# Cos this world is way too big now
1:29:02 > 1:29:04# You're beautiful
1:29:04 > 1:29:08# You're beautiful to me
1:29:10 > 1:29:12# You're beautiful
1:29:12 > 1:29:16# You're beautiful to me
1:29:17 > 1:29:21# And it's love, love, love
1:29:21 > 1:29:26# That is with me #
1:29:26 > 1:29:31Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk