0:00:02 > 0:00:09This film contains very strong language and some violent scenes from the start.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# ..The way is pussy I love a pussy
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# I'm dripping off your Booty Sweat And busting a nut
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# I'm Alpa Chino Got that pussy control #
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Alpa Chino's Booty Sweat. Pop an ass open!
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Booty Sweat and Bust-A-Nut bars available at concessions now.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28- Temperatures have soared... - In 2013,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31when the Earth's rotation came to a halt...
0:00:31 > 0:00:35..declared all of North America a disaster area.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37I call on my fellow Americans...
0:00:37 > 0:00:41..the world called on the one man who could make a difference.
0:00:45 > 0:00:50When it happened again, the world called on him once more.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53And no-one saw it coming...
0:00:53 > 0:00:58three...more...times.
0:00:58 > 0:01:06Now, the one man who made a difference five times before...
0:01:06 > 0:01:11is about to make a difference... again.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Only this time, it's different.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Who left the fridge open?
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Tugg Speedman.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Scorcher Six, Global Meltdown.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Here we go again.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31Again?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38MUSIC: "The Four Seasons" by Vivaldi
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Will there be anything else?
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Oh, yes, my dear man, more beans.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48- FARTS - Grannie, euw!
0:01:48 > 0:01:51LAUGHS Oh, please!
0:01:51 > 0:01:58This summer, America's favourite obese family is back.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- ALL FART - Euw, gross!
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- You're just mad cos I'm skinny. - I'm not.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Jeff Portnoy, Jeff Portnoy,
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Jeff Portnoy
0:02:08 > 0:02:12and Jeff Portnoy are...
0:02:12 > 0:02:14- ALL FART - The Fatties, Fart Two.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- In some countries... - FARTS
0:02:17 > 0:02:19..it's considered a compliment.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Letting loose this summer.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33In a time...
0:02:33 > 0:02:35where to be different
0:02:35 > 0:02:37was to be condemned...
0:02:49 > 0:02:51..and to be condemned...
0:02:53 > 0:02:56..was to die...
0:02:58 > 0:03:02..one man chose to question his god.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06SCREAMS
0:03:06 > 0:03:08From Fox Searchlight...
0:03:08 > 0:03:10MUSIC: "Sadeness (Part 1)" by Enigma
0:03:16 > 0:03:20..five-time Academy Award winner Kirk Lazarus...
0:03:20 > 0:03:24and MTV Movie Award Best Kiss winner Tobey Maguire.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Winner of the Beijing Film Festival's coveted
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Crying Monkey award...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Satan's Alley.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I've been a bad, bad boy, Father.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13RADIO CHATTER
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Come on!
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Come on, you damn heathens!
0:06:00 > 0:06:02This is Boomer 17 in the Jeep.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05I need fast movers on my Yankee. Throw something!
0:06:05 > 0:06:08'Boomer this is Y - I got...'
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Holy shit!
0:06:10 > 0:06:14- Holy shit!- Get some firepower, boy! - Jesus Christ!
0:06:14 > 0:06:18Listen, you cherry fuck! You call in that snake
0:06:18 > 0:06:21and nape and get us some b-b-boom now! I'd do it myself
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- but I'm kind of goddamn busy! - OK.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25SHOUTING/EXPLOSIONS
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Lock and load!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- What the fuck? - SCREAMS
0:06:30 > 0:06:35SCREAMS
0:06:35 > 0:06:39That's for Brooklyn, motherfucker!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- I think I can put it back in. - We gotta get back to the bird.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44INDISTINCT SHOUTING
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Want some? Get some!
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- Hey, I ain't seen Four Leaf. - Don't count him out,
0:06:50 > 0:06:52that bastard's got luck tattooed to his ass.
0:06:52 > 0:06:58Get your Detroit jukebox Jheri curl ass in this chickenshit chop-chop!
0:06:58 > 0:07:01- ASAFP!- Four Leaf is still outside the perimeter!- Miss me with that
0:07:01 > 0:07:03cracker chump jive! We di di mau! We di di mau!
0:07:04 > 0:07:09- Come on, get out! Get out! - What am I looking at? What is this?
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Let's go! Come on, elevate up!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Sarge! It's Four Leaf.
0:07:27 > 0:07:28No!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Survive!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Cover me, you limp dick fuck-ups!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58Peek-a-boo!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00I see you!
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Hold on, Four Leaf!
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Watch my right.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Come on, Leaf!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24- No! - No!
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Holy fuck!
0:08:30 > 0:08:31SCREAMS
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Oh, look at you, man.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Playing with grenades.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44I'm cold, Linc.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I can't feel my legs.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51Ain't nothing but a thang.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54Hold my hands...
0:08:54 > 0:08:56cos I got something to s...
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I got something to say.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Oh, boy.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07When we get back to the world,
0:09:07 > 0:09:11I'm gonna finally teach you to juggle.
0:09:11 > 0:09:16I ain't never been worth a nothing in this life.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18But I want you to know something.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22What, man?
0:09:22 > 0:09:24You were my...
0:09:24 > 0:09:27SOBS You're my brother.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34SCREAMING
0:09:39 > 0:09:43You're my brother. You're my... You're my...
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- I'm sorry, can we cut? - What's he saying?- Can we cut?
0:09:53 > 0:09:58No, no, we got the jets coming in, big explosions. Two minutes. Still rolling.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00No, not still rolling.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04- We're cutting.- Get out.- Hey, what's going on? My butt is hurting.
0:10:04 > 0:10:09- This harness is riding up my crack. - Damien, cut it.- No! Still rolling.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10- Are we cutting, sir?- No!
0:10:10 > 0:10:14- No, I'm not cutting.- Damien, what's the deal? Are we gonna blow this
0:10:14 > 0:10:17tree line or what? Tuk Tuk and Kim got the blue balls.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Gonna let them squirt if we're a go!
0:10:19 > 0:10:23- Still rolling!- Can he hear me? That's C4, dipshit, put that back.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26I said a detonator. I need some dudes who speak American!
0:10:26 > 0:10:28He's making a fucking sweater,
0:10:28 > 0:10:32I'm trying to put Tiger Balm on this jungle's nuts.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Whassup, baby?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36What the fuck is going on here?!
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Everyone, please shut up. Jets are coming in. We have one chance.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42On three, baby. One, two, breathe.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- Do me a favour. I don't want to do a countdown before I do the scene. - No countdown?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48- Can we just do it off action? - Just...in your own time.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- Good.- I'm not a rocket ship, OK. - All right.- And, action!
0:10:51 > 0:10:57- Whatever floats your boat, baby. Fuck!- Erika, get me a VitaminWater!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00You know what it is, Damien? I'm sorry. Not to get into his thing,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03but if I'm crying, should Osiris be crying, too?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- No, it's everyone cry - We cutting - or we crying?- No, we're crying!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- Just call it!- Kirk, you can cry. Tugg, you can cry.- Thanks(!)
0:11:08 > 0:11:13- You see how agitated he is now? - I know.- Let's go to work.- Rolling!
0:11:14 > 0:11:17- Ridge is in sight, two miles out. - Jets are about to crest this line.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22200 pounds of shit your pants. I need to know if we're ready to go.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29You're my... See, that's what I think it is, Damien.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30I think it's the line.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Yeah?- I don't know if Four Leaf would say that.
0:11:33 > 0:11:38- Were you crying when your hands blew up?- No. Yeah, I mean, just that's what...
0:11:38 > 0:11:40- Now we in re-writes?- Where you going?- Let's re-write it!
0:11:40 > 0:11:45- Action Jackson can't cry. - I'm ready to do the scene!
0:11:45 > 0:11:47What scene? The scene is about emotionality.
0:11:47 > 0:11:52Where is it? Time to flip the script! Need till Chinese New Year waiting for my man to cry.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Here they come!
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- No!- Stop tailgating me, you pasty teabag!
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Can I make a pee-pee?
0:11:58 > 0:12:02- The planes are inbound! - Shit! Shit!
0:12:02 > 0:12:04- Shit, shit, cocksucker, bollocks. Tropic tits!- That's the signal!
0:12:04 > 0:12:10- Go, go, go, go, go! - Goddamn shit-picking cock!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12It's beautiful!
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Mother Nature just pissed her pantsuit!
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Sweet.- Oh, mama!
0:12:32 > 0:12:36Bungle in the jungle. More bad news from the Vietnamese set
0:12:36 > 0:12:39of Tropic Thunder, where a 4 million explosion
0:12:39 > 0:12:43charred the Asian location and the camera wasn't even rolling.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Financed by hot-headed mega-mogul Les Grossman,
0:12:45 > 0:12:49the film is rumoured to be one month behind schedule just five days in.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53The reason? Fingers are pointed at rookie director Damien Cockburn,
0:12:53 > 0:12:58who, insiders say, can't control a star-studded cast,
0:12:58 > 0:13:02including flatulent star of the Fatties franchise, Jeff Portnoy.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05A lot of people are disrespecting me.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09They say the movie's just about farts. It's about family, and...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11- (BEEP!)- ..you! You can't do what I do.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Fresh from his most recent arrest for heroin, glue
0:13:14 > 0:13:18and crack possession, Portnoy was almost uninsurable.
0:13:18 > 0:13:22Also in is Booty Sweat hocking hip-hop hyphenate Alpa Chino.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25I'm so excited, you know what I'm saying, about doing Tropic Thunder.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29- Hey, drink Booty Sweat, baby.- But the real heavyweight on the set
0:13:29 > 0:13:32is five-time Academy Award winner Kirk Lazarus. The brilliant
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Australian, known for his bad boy antics off-screen,
0:13:35 > 0:13:39is famous for his total immersion into any role he portrays.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Being an actor is no different than being a construction worker, save
0:13:42 > 0:13:46for the fact that my tools are the mechanisms that trigger emotion.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Lazarus underwent a controversial pigmentation alteration procedure
0:13:49 > 0:13:54to play the platoon's African American sergeant, Lincoln Osiris.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57- Yeah!- Trying to hold his own on screen is action juggernaut
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Tugg Speedman.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Once the highest grossing star in the world,
0:14:02 > 0:14:05lately his Scorcher films have lost their heat.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Recently, Speedman opened up to Tyra.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12You have no real family. You're on the wrong side of 40.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16You're childless and alone. Somebody close to you said,
0:14:16 > 0:14:18"One more flop and it's over."
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Somebody said they were close to me?
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Tough year for Tugg. Disappointing buddy comedy Chitlin' And The Dude
0:14:27 > 0:14:30was followed by an ill-advised venture
0:14:30 > 0:14:31into serious dramatic territory.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Simple Jack, the story of a mentally impaired farmhand
0:14:34 > 0:14:38who can talk to animals, was a box office disaster
0:14:38 > 0:14:42that many critics called, "One of the worst movies of all time."
0:14:42 > 0:14:47I ain't got a g-g-good brain.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50I think you've got a fine brain, Jack.
0:14:50 > 0:14:56You m-m-m-m-m-make me happy.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00But now the question is, can Speedman m-m-make audiences happy
0:15:00 > 0:15:04- in what's being called the most expensive war movie never made? - Rick Peck.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Wishing Tugg all the best on that one.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Rum-Tum-Tuggernauts, it's the Pecker. You got time for your agent?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Rick?- Hey, buddy, guess who I'm staring at right now.- What?
0:15:14 > 0:15:18I'm looking at your ugly mug on the back cover of Vanity Fair magazine,
0:15:18 > 0:15:23holding a panda from Cutesville. It is insane, bro. You are a rock star.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- Hey, did you get the gift basket I sent?- (From Rick.)
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Yeah. Yeah. It's cool, man. Thanks.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33All right, that is a real satellite phone, bro. Do not re-gift.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38- Hey. You see that Access Hollywood piece?- Yeah, I did. It was like pistol-whipping a blind kid.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42I mean, I'm not gonna sugar coat it, Tugg. You are a huge star.
0:15:42 > 0:15:46But, right now, you're like that kid on the playground,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49the one who has lice that none of the other kids want to play with?
0:15:49 > 0:15:54- What do you mean?- We gotta shave your head and get you back on the monkey bars, right?- What?
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- How did the crying scene go? - Horrible. Lazarus started crying.
0:15:58 > 0:16:03- He starts drooling and dribbling, and it wasn't in the script... - Stop there!
0:16:03 > 0:16:07You gotta buck up here, Tuggboat. Who cares how much more talented
0:16:07 > 0:16:10he may be than you? If he cries, you cry harder, man.
0:16:10 > 0:16:16Didn't your dog have leukaemia when you were a kid? I mean, think of that. Boom! End of story.
0:16:16 > 0:16:18- They hook up the TiVo yet?- No.- What?
0:16:18 > 0:16:21They have digital cable, but, I mean, it's OK.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23No, no, no. Come on, man. It's not OK.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24It is not OK, Tugg!
0:16:24 > 0:16:28And you don't need to explain to me why you need TiVo
0:16:28 > 0:16:32or clean water, clean sheets, food, shelter.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34I fought for that in your contract.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37How's the adoption thing coming, buddy?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Not too great.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Well, at least you get to choose yours.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I'm stuck with mine.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Tell you what, get back to work, genius soldier.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51The Pecker's on a TiVo mission for the Y O U.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54- Work on those tears, my man. - All right. Yeah.
0:16:54 > 0:17:00- Say it for me one time. You m-m-m-make me happy. - M-M-Make me happy.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02- I love you, buddy. - All right, bye.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Crisis meeting? What does that mean, exactly? I mean, are we in a crisis?
0:17:06 > 0:17:09He's the head of the studio. He's reaching out.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11We're 10,000 miles away. He wants a little face time.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14You said that he called it a crisis meeting. So...
0:17:14 > 0:17:19It's Les Grossman. He throws these words around. Crisis, explosion,
0:17:19 > 0:17:21not rolling, fired.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- These are just words.- Yeah! Yeah!
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Keep a secret? Camera truck in London ploughed into Judi Dench.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Trust me, he's got bigger problems. - He may be able to see me,
0:17:30 > 0:17:34- but I can't see him!- Move! Move! Les!- Get your ass out of my...
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- Can he see us?- I don't know why we don't have...- Get him a Diet Coke.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Les! It's working! Yeah, whatever you're doing.
0:17:42 > 0:17:47- Hello, Les!- OK.- We got you loud and clear, Les.- I see you. I see you.
0:17:47 > 0:17:54I see you. Which one of you fuckfaces is Damien Cockburn?
0:17:54 > 0:17:59That's me, sir. It's good to finally meet you, get some face time.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03And who here is the key grip? You?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05You.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Sorry, man.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21Ow! Ow. Ow.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24This is your fault, you limey fuck!
0:18:24 > 0:18:27You shit the money-bed, my friend.
0:18:27 > 0:18:31Hey, Les, I understand if you're angry,
0:18:31 > 0:18:34but I am dealing with a bunch of prima donnas! Clowns!
0:18:34 > 0:18:38- Tugg Speedman, he can't cry! Can't cry!- You know how you handle actors? They whine about anything,
0:18:38 > 0:18:41you pull down their pants and you spank their ass.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- You spank that ass, Les.- What?
0:18:44 > 0:18:48Spanking a child turns him into a little snot.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Fear...makes him a man.
0:18:51 > 0:18:56I know a place where a man's worth is measured
0:18:56 > 0:18:59in the ears hanging from his dog tags.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03The real deep shit.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04You wanna make this movie right?
0:19:04 > 0:19:09That's where you take your pansy-ass actors.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12Who is this guy?
0:19:12 > 0:19:17- Les, that's Four Leaf. - Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback. I wrote the book.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21Oh. You're a great American.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23This nation owes you a huge debt.
0:19:23 > 0:19:28Now shut the fuck up and let me do my job! Cockburn?
0:19:28 > 0:19:32- Yes?- From now on, my fist is gonna be so far up your shit hole
0:19:32 > 0:19:37that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past
0:19:37 > 0:19:39my wedding ring. Take control of your actors,
0:19:39 > 0:19:42or I will shut you down. Diet Coke!
0:19:54 > 0:19:57When the herd loses its way,
0:19:57 > 0:20:01the shepherd must kill the bull that leads them astray.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Four Leaf?
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Come on over. It's OK.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- Sit down.- Yes.
0:20:09 > 0:20:15- So, you don't like the hotel? - Beds give me nightmares.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24I'm guessing right about now you couldn't find a Dixie coonskin
0:20:24 > 0:20:29with an Ohio hooker holding your prick and showing you the way.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37What?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40I put my story in your limp Brit hands
0:20:40 > 0:20:44and you are not going to fail me.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47You think I was just blowing my own bagpipe in that meeting?
0:20:47 > 0:20:51You must put those boys in the shit.
0:20:51 > 0:20:56- What? I don't understand.- You wanna make your movie or not?- Yes, I do.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59All right, you get some of those little video type cameras.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03We take them out and we put them in the trees in different angles.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Then you give me and that pyromaniac Cody
0:21:06 > 0:21:11all the smoke bombs, charges, explosives, detonators you got.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Then we take those boys up there,
0:21:13 > 0:21:16me and Cody, we could light up that fucking jungle,
0:21:16 > 0:21:19so those lily-dick actors would be shitting their pants
0:21:19 > 0:21:22and screaming for their mammies.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26They'd be begging for a body bag if it means a ride home.
0:21:28 > 0:21:29I could do it.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33I could shoot the whole thing guerrilla style. Gritty, dirty.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Get them away from their helpers and arse-licking assistants.
0:21:36 > 0:21:40- Put them in the real shit.- Real shit.- With real fear in their eyes!
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Real emotion! Yes, Four Leaf, yes! - Yes!- Yes!- Yes!- Yes!
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Take them off the fucking grid!
0:22:02 > 0:22:06You are no longer actors in a movie!
0:22:06 > 0:22:10You are five men in a helicopter!
0:22:10 > 0:22:12With three other men!
0:22:18 > 0:22:22How long are we gonna be gone? Cos I left most of my, er, vitamins at the hotel.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- Save your breath, maggots! - That's right, maggots!
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Go, go, go! Get out of the chopper!
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Move it, maggots! Move, grunts, move your ass!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Get out, you wriggly worms!
0:22:57 > 0:23:00- It's up too high! - Move, move, move!
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- See you in hell! - CACKLES
0:23:16 > 0:23:18This is bullshit!
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I gotta at least call my fucking assistant.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Fucking! Jesus! Dude!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27You're sitting on a nest of hostile enemy VC.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31Congratulations, Fats. You just got us all killed.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Anybody else care to give away our position to Charlie?
0:23:34 > 0:23:38- Cellphones! - What the hell, Damien?
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Weren't no cellphones in '69, man. I'm head-to-toe legitimate.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Gentlemen, I've got good news and bad news.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48The studio wants to shut us down. That's the bad news.
0:23:48 > 0:23:54And the good news. If you wanna save this movie, you will become a unit.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Your objective is to head north to the D'ang Kwook River
0:23:58 > 0:24:00and liberate the POW camp, at which point Four Leaf
0:24:00 > 0:24:03will get himself captured, at which point you will rescue him,
0:24:03 > 0:24:08at which point we will chopper you home!
0:24:08 > 0:24:09Damn.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Four Leaf, since you're staff sergeant, here's the map,
0:24:13 > 0:24:15the scene list. Think you can handle it?
0:24:15 > 0:24:20We have rigged this entire valley of death with hidden cameras.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25And I will be shooting as well, from unseen vantage points,
0:24:25 > 0:24:29so that every glorious moment is captured on film.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33- LAUGHS - And believe me, gentlemen, it will be glorious.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36If it looks real, chances are it probably is.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40You wanted to be actors. You wanted to occupy the skin of another human being.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43Well, get ready to occupy the skin of a terrified US Infantry grunt,
0:24:43 > 0:24:47surrounded by death, crawling up Satan's bottom.
0:24:47 > 0:24:52There'll be ambushes, enemy fire, your own little... personal slice of 'Nam.
0:24:52 > 0:24:57This radio goes to the chopper and the chopper only.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01The chopper is God, and I am Jesus Christ, his son.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03You are my chosen disciples.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06And no-one gets to go home till we get the shots.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Put on your war faces, gentlemen.
0:25:09 > 0:25:14Now, let's go and make the greatest war movie ever!
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Yeah! ALL CHEER
0:25:18 > 0:25:19Oh.
0:25:34 > 0:25:35Yeah!
0:25:37 > 0:25:39SHOUTING
0:25:53 > 0:25:56Not bad, Cockburn!
0:25:56 > 0:25:59Not bad.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Wherever you are!
0:26:02 > 0:26:07Wherever he is? Looks like he's all over the place.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Here we go.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Must be an old French mine.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Remnant from colonial Indo-China. This jungle must be full of them.
0:26:16 > 0:26:18Hey! Don't you get it?
0:26:18 > 0:26:23He's messing with our heads. That's what all that playing God stuff was about.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25He's trying to get us to act good, save the movie.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29He ain't playing God. He's being judged by Him.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34That's our objective.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35Complete the mission.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44No offence, Kirk, I know you're the big fancy actor here,
0:26:44 > 0:26:48but I've done more effects-driven event films than you. OK?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50And I think I can spot...
0:26:50 > 0:26:52a prop head when I see one.
0:26:52 > 0:26:54Oh, Jesus.
0:26:54 > 0:26:58It's corn syrup, guys. Corn syrup and latex.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Warm...
0:27:02 > 0:27:04blood-flavoured corn syrup.
0:27:04 > 0:27:09- Oh, God.- Smoke and mirrors, guys. Welcome to the movie factory.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Oldest trick in the book.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15He getting down now.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16Oh, my God!
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Whoa, look at me!
0:27:18 > 0:27:22ENGLISH ACCENT: You're going to get the shots, and I'm going to make sure
0:27:22 > 0:27:25because I'm the director. I'm from London.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29I direct plays. Hey, Damien! We got our war faces on!
0:27:29 > 0:27:31ROARS
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Look, I'm Dave Beckham.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52So, we gotta light these boys up today, huh?
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Blow some sense into these young men.
0:27:54 > 0:27:59Hey, I don't want to come off as weird or anything,
0:27:59 > 0:28:03but I might be your biggest fan. Yeah.
0:28:03 > 0:28:07Tropic Thunder. Kind of like my Catcher In The Rye.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Yeah, I've never been in the military, per se,
0:28:10 > 0:28:14but I have lost an appendage in the line of duty.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16Driving Miss Daisy, first studio gig.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20Yeah. It's a pretty cool sidearm you got there.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24- What is it? - I don't know what it's called.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27I just know the sound it makes...
0:28:27 > 0:28:29when it takes a man's life.
0:28:31 > 0:28:36OK. Damien, we're go for explosion. Ready to kick the tyres and light the fires on your say-so.
0:28:36 > 0:28:39- CRACKLING - Damien, we're go for explosion.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43'Do you copy? I got an itchy trigger finger here, and I'm ready to blow some shit up.'
0:28:43 > 0:28:47All right, you happy now? Can we do the scene?
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Or do you need a formal invitation? Come on, let's go!
0:28:51 > 0:28:55Here. OK. "Scene 12, exterior, jungle clearing, day, ambush."
0:29:00 > 0:29:05"Four Leaf notices movement in the brush. A dozen guerrilla fighters can be seen in the tree line.
0:29:05 > 0:29:10"A mine explodes." And you. "I got a bad feeling on this one."
0:29:10 > 0:29:14- Yeah.- No, that's your line. - I got... Now?- Yeah, but scared.
0:29:14 > 0:29:15Like, scared.
0:29:15 > 0:29:20- "I got a bad feeling on this one." - Dude, wait, like how?- "I got a bad feeling on this one."- OK.
0:29:20 > 0:29:22Action. Go, come on.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35I got a bad feeling on this one there, Fats.
0:29:35 > 0:29:38Our asses don't get fragged, first thing I'm doing
0:29:38 > 0:29:42is paying my two bucks so I can watch Brooklyn bust his cherry
0:29:42 > 0:29:45on a sweet little mama-san's dinky dau poontang.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48Shit, Brooklyn be bagged and tagged before he get any cooch.
0:29:48 > 0:29:50He die, he probably die a coochless motherfucker.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53- Zip it, Motown. - Man, I'm thirsty.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Might as well have some of this...
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Booty Sweat I got back in Danang.
0:30:00 > 0:30:04Yo, asshole! This motherfucker's dead!
0:30:04 > 0:30:06Ain't no Criss Angel Mindfreak,
0:30:06 > 0:30:09David Blaine trapdoor horseshit jumping off here!
0:30:09 > 0:30:13Hey! You wanna get on the train here, or do you wanna ruin another take?
0:30:13 > 0:30:16There ain't no goddamn takes, ain't no goddamn motion picture!
0:30:16 > 0:30:20- You sure?- Oh, yeah. - Yeah?- For certain, man.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Then why are you still in character?
0:30:22 > 0:30:26I know, but I don't have to tell you.
0:30:26 > 0:30:31- You don't know. - I don't drop character till I done a DVD commentary.
0:30:31 > 0:30:32GUNFIRE
0:30:32 > 0:30:37- You happy now? We're out of position for the effects!- Get down, fool!
0:30:38 > 0:30:42Didn't anyone read the script? This is the ambush!
0:30:42 > 0:30:44This feels pretty real!
0:30:44 > 0:30:46Exactly! Let's use it.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48SCREAMS
0:30:56 > 0:31:00Oh, yeah.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03BOTH SCREAM
0:31:03 > 0:31:08- Eat lead!- They're busting caps like a motherfucker down there.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15- This is FUBAR. I say we juice them. What do you think?- Juice 'em.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Fuck you, Charlie!
0:31:21 > 0:31:23Big-ass titties!
0:31:23 > 0:31:24BEEPING
0:31:27 > 0:31:29Look at that, huh?
0:31:34 > 0:31:36And cut!
0:31:38 > 0:31:40That's the trailer right there.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43- Yeah!- What do we do now?
0:31:43 > 0:31:44ALL CHEER
0:31:44 > 0:31:46North. Man said to head north.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50Did you see me shooting? I believed it.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53D'ang Kwook River. I'm betting he's got more of these battles
0:31:53 > 0:31:56and Viet Congs rigged for us along the way.
0:31:56 > 0:32:00Sergeant Osiris, get your men. Load and lock.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Real, baby, I'm real.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Let's go! We got a lot of clicks to cover!
0:32:05 > 0:32:10- Hump it up, gentlemen! Single formation.- Don't dawdle now!
0:32:34 > 0:32:38D-Rod, D-Rod, this is Puddingface. How are we coming on that hotplate?
0:32:38 > 0:32:41CRACKLING
0:32:41 > 0:32:44Something's up. I think we better drag ass back there.
0:32:44 > 0:32:47Make sure Damien ain't forgot how to use his talkbox again.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Yeah, baby, come on. Just a little taste.
0:32:57 > 0:33:01- What are you doing, Jeff?- Fucking... Nothing, man!
0:33:01 > 0:33:04- I'm eating jellybeans.- Wow, I love jellybeans. Can I please...
0:33:04 > 0:33:07No, you can't have any fucking jellybeans! They're mine.
0:33:07 > 0:33:11Think you're the only one who gets sick without his jellybeans?
0:33:11 > 0:33:13Boundaries, man. Fuck.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34Hey. I didn't mean to show you up back there.
0:33:34 > 0:33:38I feel like we really need to set the example for the other guys.
0:33:38 > 0:33:43It's gonna be tough, but I think Damien's gonna get some great shit out of us.
0:33:43 > 0:33:48- Just wish I had a director like this on Jack.- On Jack. What? Jack?
0:33:48 > 0:33:51- What you talking about? - Simple Jack?- Oh, yeah.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53CHUCKLES
0:33:53 > 0:33:56Simple Jack, yeah. You went all out on that one, huh?
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Really swung for the fences, huh?
0:33:58 > 0:34:01Thank you. Thanks. Yeah.
0:34:01 > 0:34:06Yeah, it was an intense experience. You know, I just... I just did the work.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10Watched a lot of retarded people. Spent time with them, observed them.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Watched all the retarded stuff they did.
0:34:12 > 0:34:17Then again, I always found mere observation is a tad rudimentary.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20Sometimes, we gotta dig deeper to mine the emotional pay dirt.
0:34:20 > 0:34:25Thus, we can diagram the source of the pain and then live it, you know?
0:34:25 > 0:34:29Yeah, yeah, live it. Yeah, exactly. You know, there were times...
0:34:29 > 0:34:32when I was doing Jack that I actually felt retarded,
0:34:32 > 0:34:34like really retarded.
0:34:34 > 0:34:38- Damn.- I had to sort of just free myself up
0:34:38 > 0:34:40to believe that it was OK to be stupid or dumb.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43- To be a moron.- Yeah. - To be moronical.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46- Exactly, to be a moron. - An imbecile.- Yeah.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived.
0:34:48 > 0:34:53- When I was playing the character. - When you was.- As Jack, definitely.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55Jack, stupid-ass Jack.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58By the end of the whole thing, I was like, "Wait a minute,
0:34:58 > 0:35:02"I flushed so much out, how am I gonna jumpstart it up again?" It's just like...
0:35:02 > 0:35:05- Yeah.- Right? - You was farting in bathtubs
0:35:05 > 0:35:09- and laughing your ass off. Hm? - Yeah.- Yeah.- I mean this was...crazy.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11It's like working with mercury.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14- It's high science, it's an art form. You an artist.- Hm.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17- That's what we do.- Yeah. - Yeah.- Hats off for going there,
0:35:17 > 0:35:21especially knowing how the Academy is about that shit.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24CLEARS THROAT About what?
0:35:25 > 0:35:28You're serious? You don't know?
0:35:28 > 0:35:31Everybody knows you never go full retard.
0:35:31 > 0:35:33What do you mean?
0:35:33 > 0:35:37Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man, look retarded, act retarded,
0:35:37 > 0:35:38not retarded.
0:35:38 > 0:35:43Count toothpicks, cheat at cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45Then you got Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48Slow, yes, retarded, maybe, braces on his legs. But he charmed Nixon
0:35:48 > 0:35:51and won a Ping-Pong competition. That ain't retarded.
0:35:51 > 0:35:57Peter Sellers, Being There. Infantile, yes. Retarded, no.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00You went full retard, man.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Never go full retard.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09Remember? Went full retard? Went home empty-handed.
0:36:19 > 0:36:20Oh, my God!
0:36:20 > 0:36:22Holy shit!
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Good job, turd. You killed the director.
0:36:25 > 0:36:29That's impossible, man. I rigged the whole tree line and this is here.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32- He must have missed his mark. - Missed?- This isn't me.
0:36:32 > 0:36:36Let's bag and tag the bastard and get back to the hotel. You're in a world of hurt, dumbo!
0:36:36 > 0:36:39We're in a world of hurt!
0:36:39 > 0:36:42- This isn't just on me! We're together on this.- Bullshit.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45You're gonna run? What happened to "no man left behind"?
0:36:45 > 0:36:47Just wait, just wait! Listen! Listen, OK?
0:36:47 > 0:36:50- I don't wanna hear it. - Let me be real with you.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53I almost blinded Jamie Lee Curtis on Freaky Friday, OK?
0:36:53 > 0:36:56- This shit will fucking ruin me!- Get off me! You're pathetic.- I'm not!
0:36:56 > 0:36:58You are not going back!
0:37:02 > 0:37:05- What the fuck? - Now, wait a minute.
0:37:15 > 0:37:17SIGHS
0:37:19 > 0:37:23Agh! I fucking hate movies.
0:37:23 > 0:37:27This is bullshit. I don't wanna be in this shitty movie.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31MUSIC: "The Pusher" by Steppenwolf
0:37:36 > 0:37:39Oh, no! That's my jellybeans! No!
0:37:39 > 0:37:42- Kid, grab the bat! - TALKS GIBBERISH
0:37:42 > 0:37:44Please! Shit!
0:37:44 > 0:37:48- Yo, man, I got a Bust-A-Nut. - You go to hell! There he is.
0:37:52 > 0:37:54Goddamn it! OK. Where'd he go?
0:37:54 > 0:37:57You little piece of shit! I'm gonna fucking rip your wings off!
0:37:57 > 0:38:03Sanducci. Hold up, man, keep it on the down-low.
0:38:03 > 0:38:08- I don't really gotta piss. I'm trying to talk at you.- I need bait.
0:38:08 > 0:38:13- You went to boot camp, right? You can read a map?- Yeah, I think so.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16I know Speedman got everyone convinced we out here
0:38:16 > 0:38:19making Planet of the Apes on YouTube or some shit, but I don't buy it.
0:38:19 > 0:38:22You wanna step on a real landmine? You wanna die? Huh?
0:38:22 > 0:38:26You wanna get shot by a real motherfucker? Keep looking ahead.
0:38:26 > 0:38:27No, of course not.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30If I can put that map in your hands, can I count on you?
0:38:30 > 0:38:35- Uh, well, yeah, I guess you can. - Dynamite. I'm out.
0:38:37 > 0:38:40- CHUCKLES - That smelled just like baloney for some reason.
0:38:40 > 0:38:43Is anyone gonna fucking help me get this fucking thing?
0:38:43 > 0:38:47Why are they even out in the daytime? I've had enough!
0:38:48 > 0:38:51I'm gonna level with you, bro. I don't need to pee.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54I need to talk to you.
0:38:54 > 0:38:58LIQUID POURING
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Lazarus...
0:39:00 > 0:39:06is gonna torpedo the movie. He's out on a limb with this character
0:39:06 > 0:39:08and I think he's getting cold feet.
0:39:08 > 0:39:13- I need you on my side, Kyle. - It's Kevin.- Good.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15Can I count on you?
0:39:16 > 0:39:19If you want, I could give the map a look-see.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22- I'll handle the map. - OK.- You stick with the programme,
0:39:22 > 0:39:27we get this movie in the can, I think there could be a Teen Choice Award in it for you.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29You have that potential.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32They'll slime you, the whole deal.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34Yeah, that's wicked.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36BURBLES Good.
0:39:38 > 0:39:40BIRD TWEETING
0:39:41 > 0:39:44There it is! Yeah, now you're dead!
0:39:44 > 0:39:47- GRUNTS - You OD'd!
0:39:47 > 0:39:49Hold up now, Jeff.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51SCREAMS
0:39:51 > 0:39:52Fucking hell!
0:39:52 > 0:39:53PANTS
0:39:53 > 0:39:56What the hell, Jeff? That's a bat, man!
0:39:56 > 0:40:01I don't have any more jellybeans.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08You land there!
0:40:22 > 0:40:26Wow. Look at these ruins.
0:40:26 > 0:40:28Where the hell are we?
0:40:28 > 0:40:32- D'ang Kwook River. - That so? How do you know that?
0:40:32 > 0:40:35Only one way to find out, dude. Let's go.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38Yeah. I'm not feeling so good right now.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Seriously, my skin hurts!
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Enough from the peanut gallery! Into the water, ladies!
0:40:42 > 0:40:44No, let me take a look at that map.
0:40:44 > 0:40:48- Why are you obsessed with the map? - We're tired of being trail donkeys!
0:40:48 > 0:40:50Acting like you some one-man GPS!
0:40:50 > 0:40:54Goddamn it! We lost! We fucking super lost, man!
0:40:54 > 0:40:56Tell him. Tell him what time it is.
0:40:56 > 0:41:02- I don't believe you people.- Ha! What do you mean, "you people"?
0:41:03 > 0:41:08- What do YOU mean, "you people"? - I think what Tugg means is...
0:41:08 > 0:41:10No, look at his eyes, man.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
0:41:12 > 0:41:14I gotta get back to the hotel, for real!
0:41:14 > 0:41:17MACHINE GUN FIRE
0:41:17 > 0:41:21Chill! All right? Just chill it.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24Now, let's go get those Viet Congs.
0:41:24 > 0:41:29- Viet Cong!- What? - It's "Viet Cong." There's no "S".
0:41:29 > 0:41:32It's already plural. You wouldn't say "Chineses".
0:41:32 > 0:41:35All right, that's enough of this insubordination!
0:41:35 > 0:41:38If the machine breaks down, we break down.
0:41:38 > 0:41:41You know how in Rambo I, he was big but puffy and then Rambo II,
0:41:41 > 0:41:44- he got all shredded up?- Yeah. - That's how you look now.- Oh.
0:41:44 > 0:41:48- Not Rambo I but II. - Really?- Yeah, when he was cut up.
0:41:48 > 0:41:53- I'm not that... That's what I'm going for, but...- You more shredded than a Julienne salad, man.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56- Thanks.- What's the secret, dude? - It's a diet.- Really?
0:41:56 > 0:41:59Cos I'm trying to come up a little, but it's just... It's tough.
0:41:59 > 0:42:03- Any tips?- What?- Any tips you got? - There's the pineapple...
0:42:03 > 0:42:06- Give me that goddamn map! - Hey!- Fuck you!
0:42:06 > 0:42:11- Hey!- All right, now! What it is, Sikorski, tell us where we really at.- That's bullshit!
0:42:11 > 0:42:15It's a chump move. We just getting a second opinion, doc.
0:42:15 > 0:42:19- Oh, we're going the wrong way! - Damn!- Son of a bitch.- God!
0:42:19 > 0:42:24We were supposed to be doing this... and instead we did this.
0:42:24 > 0:42:28Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shitty shit, shit!
0:42:28 > 0:42:31Think you can get us back to that drop zone, boy?
0:42:31 > 0:42:35- JEFF YELLING/SQUEAKING - This is not cool!
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Maybe.
0:42:39 > 0:42:40This is insane!
0:42:40 > 0:42:44Are you really going to abandon this movie?
0:42:44 > 0:42:46We're supposed to be a unit!
0:42:46 > 0:42:48Suck my unit!
0:42:48 > 0:42:50All right, fine.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53I'll finish it by myself.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55You go be all you can be, man.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58Tugg, you have no idea where you're going!
0:42:58 > 0:43:03Yes, I do! I'm going to, "Exterior, rain forest, dusk."
0:43:03 > 0:43:08"Smash cut to Four Leaf, who treks alone through a frightening jungle."
0:43:08 > 0:43:10Suck on that unit, Kirk!
0:43:22 > 0:43:26Come on, men. Let's get home.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29MUSIC: "Sympathy For The Devil" by The Rolling Stones
0:43:29 > 0:43:32# Please allow me To introduce myself
0:43:32 > 0:43:36# I'm a man of wealth and taste
0:43:36 > 0:43:40# I've been around For a long, long year
0:43:40 > 0:43:44# Stole many a man's soul and faith
0:43:47 > 0:43:49# Pleased to meet you
0:43:49 > 0:43:52# Hope you guess my name
0:43:53 > 0:44:00# But what's puzzling you Is the nature of my game
0:44:00 > 0:44:03# Oh, yeah... #
0:44:03 > 0:44:04(Hello, Mr Mantis.)
0:44:06 > 0:44:07You're beautiful.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09MANTIS BUZZES Ooh!
0:44:09 > 0:44:13If you recall that hullabaloo where Hollywood was split into schisms,
0:44:13 > 0:44:16some studios backing Blu-ray Disc, others backing HD DVD.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19People thought it would come down to pixel rate or refresh rate.
0:44:19 > 0:44:23What it came down to was a combination of gamers and porn.
0:44:23 > 0:44:26Whichever format porno backs is usually the one that becomes
0:44:26 > 0:44:29the most successful. But, you know, Sony,
0:44:29 > 0:44:34- every PlayStation 3 has a Blu-ray in it.- You talking to me?
0:44:34 > 0:44:39- I was talking to whoever was listening to me.- Jesus Christ, man!
0:44:39 > 0:44:43# ..Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name
0:44:43 > 0:44:46# Oh, yeah
0:44:46 > 0:44:51# But what's confusing you Is just the nature of my game... #
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Booty Sweat.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02WHIMPERING
0:45:02 > 0:45:06Oh, God! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!
0:45:06 > 0:45:10It's cold! Ugh! Ugh! It's freezing. I'm fucking cold!
0:45:10 > 0:45:14- You want my flak jacket? - What, are you insane? It's boiling!
0:45:14 > 0:45:17It's like a sweat lodge out here!
0:45:17 > 0:45:19Keep the volume down on that bitching, Flatch Adams.
0:45:19 > 0:45:21I gotta take a fucking 12-pound shit!
0:45:21 > 0:45:27- We making good time?- We are, but there's no way we make it over that ridge before sundown.
0:45:27 > 0:45:30- All right, we're gonna make camp, rest up!- Oh, God.
0:45:30 > 0:45:31Y'all might be in for a treat.
0:45:31 > 0:45:35Back before the war broke out, I was a saucier in San Antone.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37I bet I could collar up some of them greens.
0:45:37 > 0:45:41Yeah, noodle some crawfish out the paddy, yo.
0:45:41 > 0:45:45Ha! And maybe some crab apples for dessert, now, you hear?
0:45:45 > 0:45:49- Hell, yeah! Ha! - Hell, yeah! Ha!
0:45:49 > 0:45:52That's how we all talk. We all talk like this, suh! Yes, suh-huh.
0:45:52 > 0:45:57Yeah, hm-hm, get some crawfish and some ribs, ah-ha!
0:45:57 > 0:46:01Yeah! You're Australian! Be Australian!
0:46:01 > 0:46:03Excuse me, Kangaroo Jack.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09I get excited about my foods, man.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11THUNDER
0:46:34 > 0:46:37BOTH GRUNT
0:47:15 > 0:47:18ROARING, TUGG SCREAMS
0:47:18 > 0:47:20TUGG SCREAMS CONTINUOUSLY
0:47:26 > 0:47:27GRUNTS
0:47:31 > 0:47:34Die!
0:47:47 > 0:47:49N-o-o-o!
0:47:52 > 0:47:55- Bah! - GRUNTS
0:47:55 > 0:47:58Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we?
0:47:58 > 0:48:00I have no idea.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04I've never been outside the States.
0:48:04 > 0:48:08Wait, are you fucking kidding me? Did you make this whole thing up?
0:48:08 > 0:48:11- Were you even in the fucking service?- Yes. Of course.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14- Coast Guard.- Coast Guard. - Sanitation Department.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17Oh, my God! You're a fucking garbage man!
0:48:17 > 0:48:21Damn it. FL Tayback lies to me and the whole goddamn US Of A.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24- I wrote the book as a tribute! I'm a patriot!- You're the Milli Vanilli
0:48:24 > 0:48:27of patriots. You lied about fighting the Vietnam War.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30It's like punching the American flag in the face, goddamn it.
0:48:30 > 0:48:34- God, and to think I believed in you! - Writers lie all the time.
0:48:34 > 0:48:37Can I be tied to another post? OK.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50MOBILE PHONE RINGING
0:48:56 > 0:48:59- Ha!- 'Rick?'- Tugg.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01I killed one, Rick.
0:49:01 > 0:49:06- The thing I love most in the world. - Vivica, get off the line now!
0:49:08 > 0:49:11A hooker. All right, you killed a hooker.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14Calm down. Here's what you're gonna do. Get your hands on some bleach,
0:49:14 > 0:49:18- some hydrogen peroxide and a shitload of lime.- No, a panda.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21- 'I killed a panda.' - Amanda? Come on, dude.
0:49:21 > 0:49:25- I mean, that's probably not even her real name.- No, a panda!
0:49:25 > 0:49:29- A panda? - A sweet, cuddly,
0:49:29 > 0:49:34- vicious little panda.- Jesus Christ, Tugg! Man, don't scare me like that!
0:49:34 > 0:49:37- It's beautiful here. - You on the set?
0:49:37 > 0:49:41- I am the set.- All right, man. Hey, how's the TiVo working out?
0:49:41 > 0:49:44Screw TiVo. I'm way beyond TiVo.
0:49:44 > 0:49:47Last I checked, they hadn't hooked it up, though.
0:49:47 > 0:49:50Hadn't hooked it up? No TiVo?
0:49:50 > 0:49:52It doesn't matter any more.
0:49:55 > 0:49:57I've moved on.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00Where have you moved on to? Another agency?
0:50:00 > 0:50:01CHOKES
0:50:01 > 0:50:03Who's with you?
0:50:03 > 0:50:05'You are still my client, Tugg Speedman!'
0:50:05 > 0:50:08I am getting the TiVo! Jacket's on, I'm out the door!
0:50:08 > 0:50:10'Tugg?'
0:50:12 > 0:50:15Please don't fire me.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17Ga-ga! Oh!
0:50:17 > 0:50:20Oh, mama. Oh, I'm thirsty.
0:50:20 > 0:50:22He doesn't look too good.
0:50:22 > 0:50:27Must drink, so I can... throw something up!
0:50:27 > 0:50:31No, don't drink that water! That water's like a Petri dish! Don't!
0:50:31 > 0:50:34- Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat? - Yeah, get him chugging on
0:50:34 > 0:50:37some of Alpa's ass water. It's a cure-all.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41What you coming out in movies for? You need another revenue stream?
0:50:41 > 0:50:43For your information, my revenue stream
0:50:43 > 0:50:46currently generates 2,000,000 a year
0:50:46 > 0:50:49- in contributions for my community. - Hot damn.
0:50:49 > 0:50:53And why am I in this movie? Maybe I knew I had to represent,
0:50:53 > 0:50:55cos they had one good part for a black man
0:50:55 > 0:50:58and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01Pump your brakes, kid. That man is a national treasure.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04I just wanted to throw another shrimp on your barbie.
0:51:04 > 0:51:08- That shit ain't funny.- Hey, fellas! It's hot! We're tired! It stinks!
0:51:08 > 0:51:09I'm just fucking with you!
0:51:09 > 0:51:12- I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby. - You know that's a true story?
0:51:12 > 0:51:15Lady lost her kid. You about to cross some fucking lines.
0:51:15 > 0:51:19- Relax and stuff.- Fuck that!- I'm sick of this koala-hugging nigger
0:51:19 > 0:51:21telling me...
0:51:24 > 0:51:27For 400 years...
0:51:27 > 0:51:30that word has kept us down.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32What the fuck?
0:51:32 > 0:51:36Took a whole lot o' tryin' just to get up that hill.
0:51:36 > 0:51:39Now we up with the big leagues.
0:51:39 > 0:51:43Can not turn bad. Long as we live, it's you and me, baby.
0:51:43 > 0:51:47That's the theme song for The Jeffersons. You really need help.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50Just cos it's the theme song don't make it not true.
0:51:50 > 0:51:54Know what? I'm gonna tell you what's true. I'm gonna tag you back.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57- You better believe that, baby. - Guys!
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Hey, guys!
0:51:59 > 0:52:02Jeff, stay away from that animal.
0:52:03 > 0:52:06I'm gonna bite his hide.
0:52:06 > 0:52:10I need... I need to wear his stomach skin like a unitard.
0:52:10 > 0:52:14Ain't nobody doin' nothin' to no water body!
0:52:14 > 0:52:18Not Mr Portnoy! You feelin' a little foolish,
0:52:18 > 0:52:21don't wanna walk, put him up on that cloven-hoofed animal!
0:52:21 > 0:52:22BELLOWS
0:52:22 > 0:52:24We got ground to cover!
0:52:51 > 0:52:55All right, PoW camp. Scene 67.
0:52:55 > 0:52:58Bring it on, Cockburn!
0:53:03 > 0:53:08My body may be shackled, but my mind wanders free.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10Ah! Oh!
0:53:10 > 0:53:12IMITATES HIM
0:53:12 > 0:53:14Wait, wait, wait, let me do the line again.
0:53:14 > 0:53:19My body may be shackled... but my mind wanders free.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21- SPITS:- Poo! - Poo!
0:53:21 > 0:53:22BOTH SPIT AND YELL
0:53:22 > 0:53:26YELLING CONTINUES
0:53:26 > 0:53:28Good, again. Again.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30YELLS AND SPITS
0:53:33 > 0:53:35Good, good. Now let's do the torture scene.
0:53:35 > 0:53:37I see moss on both sides of that tree.
0:53:37 > 0:53:40Well, maybe if I wasn't the only one acting...
0:53:40 > 0:53:44Oh, God, it really hurts. I'm not joking. I'm nauseous.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46I gotta puke! I don't wanna die like Hendrix!
0:53:50 > 0:53:52RETCHES
0:53:52 > 0:53:56- Are you OK, Jeff? - I'm awesome(!)
0:53:57 > 0:53:59Holy shit!
0:54:04 > 0:54:06Everyone down, down!
0:54:10 > 0:54:15Man, now I'm sure that that looks like the PoW camp in the script.
0:54:15 > 0:54:18- Speedman was right? - I don't think so.
0:54:18 > 0:54:20Look at the cooking vats, the armed guards.
0:54:20 > 0:54:24Looks like a heroin processing plant.
0:54:25 > 0:54:30We were in that chopper for hours. I don't think we're in Vietnam now.
0:54:30 > 0:54:33- Shit! We ain't in 'Nam? - Most likely Myanmar or Laos.
0:54:33 > 0:54:36- What the fuck is Laos? - The golden triangle.
0:54:36 > 0:54:39- World's hard-drug super highway. - How'd you know that?
0:54:39 > 0:54:43I was on a long trip, I read the in-flight magazine.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47- Cut!- Oh, Jesus!
0:54:47 > 0:54:50What do you see? I'm blocked.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Damien, cut!
0:54:52 > 0:54:54Hey, Damien, cut!
0:54:54 > 0:54:59They got Speedman. And it doesn't look good.
0:55:21 > 0:55:25Haaaaaaaaargh!
0:55:29 > 0:55:34I'm Tran. You are a trespasser in my poppy fields!
0:55:35 > 0:55:38You are DEA scum!
0:55:40 > 0:55:43Were there some rewrites I missed?
0:55:45 > 0:55:47YELLS IN AGONY
0:55:47 > 0:55:49Oh! Ahh!
0:55:49 > 0:55:52- Do you want to die?! Do you?! - No!
0:55:52 > 0:55:55P-P-P-Please!
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Don't hurt m-me!
0:56:03 > 0:56:06Say that again.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09Please don't hurt me.
0:56:09 > 0:56:11No, like you did before! Say it!
0:56:11 > 0:56:13- Wha...?- Say it!
0:56:13 > 0:56:18P-P-P-Please d-d-don't h-hurt me!
0:56:19 > 0:56:22SPEAKS MANDARIN
0:56:31 > 0:56:35- What? - You are Simple Jack!
0:56:37 > 0:56:42- You saw Simple Jack?- We loved the tale of this man Simple Jack.
0:56:42 > 0:56:43CLICKS FINGERS
0:56:43 > 0:56:47We have no luxuries here and Simple Jack is the only movie we possess.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Oh, that's good.
0:56:49 > 0:56:53- It's VHS. - We have watched it many, many times.
0:56:53 > 0:56:56You should have got Oscar.
0:56:58 > 0:57:01Oh, well, you know, it's...
0:57:01 > 0:57:04- just to be nominated. - You were nominated?
0:57:04 > 0:57:07No, no, no, I wasn't nominated, I'm just saying to have been
0:57:07 > 0:57:11nominated would have been nice. It's just very political. You have to...
0:57:11 > 0:57:13- Shut up, now! - OK.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16So, are you going to...
0:57:16 > 0:57:19let me go?
0:57:19 > 0:57:21No! We hold you for ransom!
0:57:21 > 0:57:24- Much more money now! - (Shit.)
0:57:34 > 0:57:39- He's in a meeting.- Yes, I know! In about two seconds, with the pecker!
0:57:39 > 0:57:42I'm gonna rip your fucking tits off! You wanna talk about trouble?
0:57:42 > 0:57:45That's trouble. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:57:45 > 0:57:48What do you need, Peck?
0:57:48 > 0:57:51More like what do you need, Les?
0:57:51 > 0:57:53Glasses?
0:57:53 > 0:57:58- What?- So you can read the Tropic Thunder contract that guarantees
0:57:58 > 0:58:03my client Tug Speedman some form of digital recorder on location?
0:58:03 > 0:58:05Huh?
0:58:08 > 0:58:10Look, I'm busy so why don't you get the hell out of here
0:58:10 > 0:58:15before I snap your dick off and jam it in your ass? ..Not you, Helen.
0:58:15 > 0:58:18But I will rip your tits off if you don't get me those theatres.
0:58:18 > 0:58:20- PHONE RINGS - Perfect.
0:58:20 > 0:58:23Hey, Tugger nuts, I got you on speaker phone.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27I'm here with Les Grossman and he's dying to tell you why he's wiped
0:58:27 > 0:58:31his ass with the TiVo clause from your contract.
0:58:31 > 0:58:35We are Flaming Dragon. Speedman is with us now.
0:58:35 > 0:58:39'For 50 million, you will get him back.'
0:58:39 > 0:58:42Who is this and how'd you get this phone?
0:58:42 > 0:58:46We are Flaming Dragon! Simple Jack belong to us now!
0:58:48 > 0:58:50Oh, he does, does he?
0:58:50 > 0:58:53Let me tell you something, shit bird!
0:58:53 > 0:58:56I've never even heard of your little agency.
0:58:56 > 0:59:00- If you think you can poach my... - 50 million or you never see
0:59:00 > 0:59:03- Simple Jack again! We kill him! - Les Grossman, who is this?
0:59:03 > 0:59:06This is Flaming Dragon!
0:59:06 > 0:59:09OK, Flaming Dragon, fuck face.
0:59:09 > 0:59:13First, take a big step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!
0:59:13 > 0:59:18I don't know what kind of power play bullshit you're trying to pull here
0:59:18 > 0:59:22but Asia is my territory so whatever you're thinking, think again,
0:59:22 > 0:59:27or I'll head down there and I will rain down a fucking fire storm upon
0:59:27 > 0:59:31you, you'll have to call the United Nations to stop me destroying you.
0:59:31 > 0:59:36I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you!
0:59:36 > 0:59:38I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
0:59:42 > 0:59:44PHONE BEEPS
0:59:45 > 0:59:47- Find out who that was. - Yeah.- Go!
1:00:20 > 1:00:24- You wear these! More like Simple Jack teeth!- Oh...
1:00:24 > 1:00:28OK. Look, I know you're a big fan and that's great...
1:00:28 > 1:00:29Uuugh!
1:00:29 > 1:00:33- LAUGHTER - You cheated!
1:00:38 > 1:00:41- GROANS - Now do movie!
1:00:41 > 1:00:44The whole movie? I can't, I can't... I don't...
1:00:44 > 1:00:49- You perform! You perform or die! - All right! Oh...
1:00:52 > 1:00:54Oh, Pa! Aaargh!
1:00:55 > 1:01:03- More stupid!- Ow! Oh, Pa, why g-g-girl make me feel bad?
1:01:05 > 1:01:10You saw what I saw. Tugg Speedman is dead meat if we don't do something.
1:01:10 > 1:01:14- We could get our asses back to the hotel!- It ain't right!
1:01:14 > 1:01:17What woulda happened in The Great Escape
1:01:17 > 1:01:21if Steve McQueen and them dudes had turned tail and ran?
1:01:21 > 1:01:25That's what that movie was about, they were escaping. They ran away.
1:01:25 > 1:01:27The point is they did something.
1:01:27 > 1:01:32What are we supposed to do, huh? Cos he's cleaning a gun with no bullets!
1:01:32 > 1:01:34- Yeah, that's a plan(!) - I'm like a little boy,
1:01:34 > 1:01:37playin' with his dick when he's nervous.
1:01:37 > 1:01:41Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
1:01:41 > 1:01:43I got an idea.
1:01:43 > 1:01:46- This may be a little crazy. - Crazy's better than nothing.
1:01:46 > 1:01:51Back in 98 I did a low-budget titty comedy for Skinamax.
1:01:51 > 1:01:53Sex Camp. Remember it?
1:01:53 > 1:01:58Anyway, me and the campers from the uncool camp
1:01:58 > 1:02:00had to break into the rich girl camp.
1:02:00 > 1:02:05So, what we did, we built a catapult out of logs and underwear
1:02:05 > 1:02:10and they shot us over the wall and we parachuted down.
1:02:14 > 1:02:17Look, guys, we already know the plan.
1:02:17 > 1:02:21- You gotta be kidding. I'm out! - We do it just like in the book.
1:02:21 > 1:02:24Chapter 26 - The White Offensive.
1:02:24 > 1:02:26The book of Tropic Thunder.
1:02:26 > 1:02:28Yeah. You guys read the book?
1:02:28 > 1:02:32Uh, the flap, the back flap. Some of the pictures.
1:02:32 > 1:02:38- Well, it's OK, it's exactly the same as in the script.- Cool.
1:02:38 > 1:02:41You guys all read the script, right?
1:02:41 > 1:02:44I don't read the script, the script reads me.
1:02:44 > 1:02:48- What the hell does that even mean? - What you getting at with the book?!
1:02:48 > 1:02:52Script? Spit that shit out, man!
1:02:52 > 1:02:55I... Oh... All right. The White Offensive.
1:02:55 > 1:02:58Osirus and Phats go undercover as a diversion.
1:02:58 > 1:03:00Motown and Brooklyn sneak in via the river.
1:03:00 > 1:03:04Yeah, but those dudes was trained soldiers.
1:03:05 > 1:03:09Yay! But we trained actors, motherfucker!
1:03:09 > 1:03:11Time to man up.
1:03:11 > 1:03:14I ain't gonna sugar-coat it.
1:03:14 > 1:03:17- Some of us might not even make it back.- Whaddya mean?
1:03:17 > 1:03:19Like...not on the same flight?
1:03:19 > 1:03:24Alpa and I's already wearing earth mama's natural night camo.
1:03:24 > 1:03:27- Cool it, Benson!- Sorry.
1:03:27 > 1:03:30We gotta scam. Get a plan together.
1:03:30 > 1:03:32We ain't back in 20, come lookin'.
1:03:32 > 1:03:35'We are Flaming Dragon.'
1:03:41 > 1:03:43Flaming Dragon are heroin manufacturers,
1:03:43 > 1:03:46responsible for an eighth of the drug trade in Asia.
1:03:46 > 1:03:48Huge profit margin.
1:03:48 > 1:03:50Guys!
1:03:50 > 1:03:54Will somebody please let me know what the game plan is?!
1:03:54 > 1:03:58Peck, we have it handled! Please don't interrupt.
1:03:58 > 1:04:01- It's under control.- I got it. - PHONE RINGS
1:04:10 > 1:04:13- Les Grossman. - 'We not get money yet!'
1:04:13 > 1:04:15Price now 100 million!
1:04:15 > 1:04:18You pay now or tomorrow Simple Jack die!
1:04:18 > 1:04:20Great. Let me get this down.
1:04:20 > 1:04:22100 million.
1:04:22 > 1:04:25Oh, wait! I got a better idea.
1:04:25 > 1:04:30Instead of 100 million, how about I send you a hobo's dick cheese?
1:04:30 > 1:04:33'Then you kill him, skin the fucking bastard.'
1:04:33 > 1:04:35- Go to town, man. Go to town! - No.
1:04:35 > 1:04:40In the meantime and as usual, go fuck yourself.
1:04:40 > 1:04:42- No.- We don't negotiate with terrorists.
1:04:42 > 1:04:44APPLAUSE
1:04:44 > 1:04:47Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you insane?!
1:04:47 > 1:04:50- I think I coulda done that better. - They're gonna kill him!
1:04:55 > 1:05:00And...we'll weep for him... in the press,
1:05:00 > 1:05:02set up a scholarship in his name.
1:05:02 > 1:05:06Eventually, and I'm talking way, way down the road...
1:05:06 > 1:05:10- we file an insurance claim. - Before the end of the fiscal year.
1:05:10 > 1:05:15Actually, the claim alone would net us more than we would lose.
1:05:15 > 1:05:18You can't be serious.
1:05:20 > 1:05:21Let's face it.
1:05:21 > 1:05:26The kids aren't dressing up as Scorcher for Purim any more.
1:05:26 > 1:05:30Speedman is a dying star.
1:05:30 > 1:05:33A white dwarf heading for a black hole.
1:05:33 > 1:05:35That's physics. It's inevitable.
1:05:35 > 1:05:38We've been handed an incredible opportunity here, Peck.
1:05:38 > 1:05:42The universe is talking to us right now.
1:05:42 > 1:05:46You just gotta listen.
1:05:46 > 1:05:47MUSIC: "Low" by T Pain
1:05:47 > 1:05:50# Boots with the fur With the fur
1:05:50 > 1:05:53# The whole club was looking at her
1:05:53 > 1:05:56# She hit the floor Next thing you know... #
1:05:56 > 1:06:01See, this is the good part, Pecker. This is where the job gets fun.
1:06:01 > 1:06:05- Yeah. - Ask and you shall receive.
1:06:05 > 1:06:09All right, you play ball... we play ball.
1:06:09 > 1:06:13I know you want the goodies.
1:06:13 > 1:06:15Welcome to the goodie room.
1:06:15 > 1:06:17You paying attention cos I'm talking...
1:06:17 > 1:06:20G5 for Pecker. That's how you can roll.
1:06:20 > 1:06:24- No more frequent-flyer bitch miles for my boy.- Um-umm.
1:06:24 > 1:06:27Oh, yeah! Player?
1:06:27 > 1:06:30Player?
1:06:30 > 1:06:32Meet the player.
1:06:32 > 1:06:36- Swinging past your knees. - Big dip, baby.- Yeah.
1:06:37 > 1:06:39MUSIC STOPS
1:06:39 > 1:06:42Or you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes
1:06:42 > 1:06:45and see where that takes you.
1:06:49 > 1:06:51Let me get this straight.
1:06:51 > 1:06:56You want me to let my client of 15 years, one of my best friends,
1:06:56 > 1:07:01die in the jungle, alone, for some money and a G5?
1:07:01 > 1:07:03Yes.
1:07:07 > 1:07:10A G5 airplane?
1:07:12 > 1:07:14Yes.
1:07:14 > 1:07:18And lots of money.
1:07:18 > 1:07:20Player.
1:07:20 > 1:07:24- MUSIC RESUMES - Yeah!
1:07:24 > 1:07:28Smack it up, live it, rub it down, ho-oh!
1:07:28 > 1:07:30# She hit the floor... #
1:07:30 > 1:07:33My mom will take care of Jack a lot!
1:07:33 > 1:07:37How many more sleeps before she wakes up again?
1:07:37 > 1:07:41Sorry, Jack, she in heaven now!
1:07:41 > 1:07:45Damn! I thought the movie was bad.
1:07:45 > 1:07:47She sleep forever.
1:07:47 > 1:07:51To the man's credit he's actually eased up on the retard throttle.
1:07:51 > 1:07:54Now that's out of the balance, the audience can connect.
1:07:54 > 1:07:58This is Theatre 101, but the guy's had a tough road
1:07:58 > 1:08:03to become a naturalist, break down the aesthetic distance. And then...
1:08:03 > 1:08:04Aaaargh!
1:08:04 > 1:08:07Told ya I'd tag you back.
1:08:09 > 1:08:11Can't tell you that I'm sorry
1:08:11 > 1:08:14for any offence I might have caused.
1:08:14 > 1:08:18- I just got caught up in... - Being a dumbass?- I guess so.
1:08:18 > 1:08:21Why you still doing this Chicken George shit? I've no idea.
1:08:21 > 1:08:23- Neither do I.- It's beyond me. - It's beyond me.
1:08:23 > 1:08:27- You confused. - I am a little confused.- I know.
1:08:27 > 1:08:31- But are we cool? - Not really.
1:08:34 > 1:08:38- Hey, man, how's it going? - Good. Yourself?
1:08:38 > 1:08:42If it's no big deal, I'm just gonna hang back here for the mission.
1:08:42 > 1:08:46- Watch the stuff. Is that cool?- Well, no.
1:08:46 > 1:08:50We need you, Jeff. What are you talking about?
1:08:50 > 1:08:52OK, look, man.
1:08:52 > 1:08:55- I got something to tell you. - OK.
1:08:57 > 1:09:00You know those jelly beans I was eating?
1:09:00 > 1:09:03Well, they weren't jelly beans. OK?
1:09:03 > 1:09:06- They were drugs. - Really?!
1:09:06 > 1:09:09I get down there near the mother lode, I am done!
1:09:09 > 1:09:14I'm bad, man! I'm gonna do all the heroin in the fuckin' world!
1:09:16 > 1:09:18If you guys wanna make it through this thing,
1:09:18 > 1:09:21- you gotta strap me to a tree. - Oh!
1:09:21 > 1:09:25- Really? Are you serious?- Yeah, I'm serious. Literally a tree.
1:09:25 > 1:09:29And no matter what, you can't fucking untie me until it is done,
1:09:29 > 1:09:33until it is out of my system. I'll say, "Hey, man, I'm cool."
1:09:33 > 1:09:38- "Untie me." Don't listen! Anything I fucking say is a lie!- You got it!
1:09:38 > 1:09:43Goodbye, Mama! Now you can have ice cream in heaven.
1:09:43 > 1:09:49I'll see you tonight when I go to bed in my head movies.
1:09:49 > 1:09:54But this head movie makes my eyes rain.
1:09:54 > 1:09:55CRIES
1:09:55 > 1:09:57APPLAUSE
1:10:02 > 1:10:05Dang. Gilligan catching a kidney shot.
1:10:05 > 1:10:10- Shh. They got him on the move! - That's torture, man.
1:10:10 > 1:10:14- OK. That's where they keeping him. - I gotta get cracking on my costume.
1:10:14 > 1:10:17- Are you good with a needle and thread?- Hell, yeah.
1:10:17 > 1:10:21Alpa Chino chinos sold more than five million pairs last spring.
1:10:21 > 1:10:24- I sewed them patterns myself. - Let's roll out.
1:10:32 > 1:10:36# There's something happening here
1:10:36 > 1:10:41# What it is ain't exactly clear CREAKING
1:10:41 > 1:10:46# There's a man with a gun over there
1:10:46 > 1:10:50# Telling me I got to beware
1:10:50 > 1:10:54# I think it's time we stop, children What's that sound? #
1:10:54 > 1:10:57It's a little twig man Oscar.
1:11:01 > 1:11:05I'm going to call you Half Squat.
1:11:06 > 1:11:10And you can call me... Papa.
1:11:14 > 1:11:19# Paranoia strikes deep
1:11:19 > 1:11:23# Into your life it will creep
1:11:23 > 1:11:27# It starts when you're always afraid
1:11:27 > 1:11:33# You step out of line The man come and take you away #
1:11:33 > 1:11:35Wow, look at all those stars.
1:11:35 > 1:11:39Really makes a guy feel pretty small.
1:11:39 > 1:11:43This could be the last time we look at these stars.
1:11:43 > 1:11:46Man, that's beauty.
1:11:46 > 1:11:50Nights like tonight make a man wonder what it's all about.
1:11:50 > 1:11:53Hey, you guys. Anybody got some bug spray?
1:11:53 > 1:11:58- Don't ignore me!- Stick it out, man. We're gonna get through this.
1:11:58 > 1:12:01- Hey, Kirk?- Yeah?
1:12:01 > 1:12:05Are you still dating Jennifer Love Hewitt? Cos I think she's hot.
1:12:05 > 1:12:08No, that was just some tabloid conjecture.
1:12:08 > 1:12:13Hey, guys, I'm good. Ha, ha! I made it through. You can untie me now.
1:12:13 > 1:12:18Funny, huh? The circus life 280 days a year on location.
1:12:18 > 1:12:23It's hard to find a girl that can hang with that, you know?
1:12:23 > 1:12:28- Not one worth keeping, no how. - Hey, Radar? Evans?
1:12:28 > 1:12:30- It's Kevin. - Whatever the fuck. Come here.
1:12:30 > 1:12:34I didn't tell you but Fatties Fart Three is coming down the pike
1:12:34 > 1:12:39- and there's a role for you if you untie me.- Tough it out.
1:12:39 > 1:12:42- Your mother's a cankerous whore! - Jesus, man.
1:12:42 > 1:12:44Hey, man. Remember way back when
1:12:44 > 1:12:47I said your mother was a cankerous whore?
1:12:47 > 1:12:52- I'm sorry, man. I did not mean that. She's not.- How about you, man?
1:12:52 > 1:12:56- You got some minx waiting for you on the other side of tomorrow?- Me?
1:12:56 > 1:12:59I've barely even had a girlfriend and...
1:12:59 > 1:13:04I was really hoping I'd get laid when this movie came out
1:13:04 > 1:13:08- but that's not gonna happen. - What about you, Masterblaster?
1:13:08 > 1:13:11You got a certain someone in the States?
1:13:11 > 1:13:15What, Alpa Chino? He's ten girls deep 24-7.
1:13:15 > 1:13:19I'm talking about something special. Big difference. How about it?
1:13:19 > 1:13:22Yeah.
1:13:22 > 1:13:24Yeah, there is.
1:13:24 > 1:13:30- Well? What's the skinny? Y'all been on a date or what?- No. I mean...
1:13:30 > 1:13:34I always wanted to, but I guess I just never had the courage to ask.
1:13:34 > 1:13:39- It's... It's complicated. - No! It's simple as pie, man.
1:13:39 > 1:13:43Look her in the eyes, say, "Hey, baby, you and me's going on a date."
1:13:43 > 1:13:47- That's the end of story. What's her name?- Lance.
1:13:47 > 1:13:50"Listen here, Lance..."
1:13:50 > 1:13:54Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? Lance?
1:13:54 > 1:13:58- Did you say Lance?- No!- That sounded like Lance.- No, I said Nance.
1:13:58 > 1:14:01- That's what I said.- It sounded like Lance.- I'm Alpa Chino, OK?
1:14:01 > 1:14:05I love the pussy! Lay your ass back down and look at the stars.
1:14:05 > 1:14:09When you wrote I Love Tha Pussy, was you thinking of dangling your dice
1:14:09 > 1:14:12- on Lance's forehead? - Hell, no! What? Come on.
1:14:12 > 1:14:16- Man, everyone's gay once in a while. - I'm not gay!- This Hollywood.
1:14:16 > 1:14:19- How about we get back to work?- OK. - This is ridiculous!- Cool.
1:14:19 > 1:14:22We got a big day tomorrow. Let's get focused.
1:14:24 > 1:14:29Alpa, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick right now.
1:14:29 > 1:14:33I told you for the last time, I love the pussy!
1:14:33 > 1:14:36I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft
1:14:36 > 1:14:39work the pipe and swallow the gravy.
1:14:39 > 1:14:42Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this.
1:14:46 > 1:14:50What's the plan? Are you gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes?
1:14:50 > 1:14:53No. No. Mandarin Chinese. It's what they speaking down there.
1:14:53 > 1:14:57- How the hell do you know Chinese? - Land Of Silk And Money with Gong Li.
1:14:57 > 1:15:01Second Globe, third Oscar. Prepped for that one by working in
1:15:01 > 1:15:05a Beijing textile factory for eight months. That might be our ride.
1:15:14 > 1:15:18- The straps are too tight! - Shut your mouth and follow my lead.
1:15:18 > 1:15:20SPEAKS MANDARIN
1:16:11 > 1:16:16All right. That looks like it could be the munitions hut right there.
1:16:16 > 1:16:17I'll try to find Speedman.
1:16:34 > 1:16:38- MUFFLED SHOUTING:- Get over here!
1:16:38 > 1:16:43- What are you doing here?- He has hands.- He killed Damien.- Bullshit!
1:16:43 > 1:16:47- He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis. - Almost!- What are you talking about?
1:16:47 > 1:16:50- Damien stepped on a old landmine. - Oh, sweet. Thank God.
1:16:50 > 1:16:52- We busting Speedman out. - Speedman?
1:16:59 > 1:17:01Oh, ow!
1:17:01 > 1:17:03My boom boom's up here. I take it y'all are doing
1:17:03 > 1:17:06the Wet Offensive from the book. I can give y'all a diversion.
1:17:06 > 1:17:11I got enough shit to light the place up like it's the 4h of fucking July
1:17:50 > 1:17:53Yes, your farm.
1:17:57 > 1:17:59Where is your farm?!
1:17:59 > 1:18:02Americans!
1:18:05 > 1:18:08My farm?
1:18:08 > 1:18:10Oh, shit.
1:18:10 > 1:18:13Here's my motherfucking farm!
1:18:13 > 1:18:15Oh, yeah!
1:18:15 > 1:18:18- Whoo ha! - YELLING
1:18:19 > 1:18:23Yeah! Eat cock, baby!
1:18:23 > 1:18:25Kwan-Lo!
1:18:25 > 1:18:28I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!
1:18:28 > 1:18:30Yeah!
1:18:30 > 1:18:34Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keep your head down!
1:18:34 > 1:18:38Keep your head down on the ground! Nobody move or I do the little guy!
1:18:38 > 1:18:42That's right, we running this programme now, JP.
1:18:42 > 1:18:46- Now show me where the drugs are. - What the fuck?
1:18:46 > 1:18:50- That ain't the plan! - Don't judge me!
1:18:52 > 1:18:55He's got a real serious problem.
1:18:55 > 1:18:57Hey! Hey, you!
1:18:57 > 1:19:01Take off your clothes! Take off your clothes!
1:19:01 > 1:19:05- What do we do now? - Stick with the plan. Find Speedman.
1:19:05 > 1:19:08- Keep this clown posse down. - Y'all heard the man.
1:19:08 > 1:19:12Be suede! Don't move! Whoo! Fuck your do-rag. Fuck your do-rag.
1:19:12 > 1:19:15- Door! - One, two, three!- Hyagh!
1:19:27 > 1:19:30- I go high, you go low.- OK.
1:19:33 > 1:19:37Get down! Get down! Chow Yun-Fat, get the hell down!
1:19:37 > 1:19:41If I see one more head pop up, it'll be bullet Whac-A-Mole.
1:19:41 > 1:19:46- Come on, come on! - Smoke grenade. Don't drop it now.
1:19:46 > 1:19:50- Here.- What's this? - I don't know what it's called.
1:19:50 > 1:19:53I just know the sound it makes when it lies.
1:19:53 > 1:19:56Don't move, Matchbox, or I will shoot you.
1:19:56 > 1:19:59I'm gonna put on this thing. Don't move.
1:19:59 > 1:20:02- I can still see you. - GRUNTS
1:20:06 > 1:20:08Tugg!
1:20:10 > 1:20:11Tugg?
1:20:13 > 1:20:16Gotcha.
1:20:16 > 1:20:19- Roll your shit up, man. We going home.- Home?
1:20:21 > 1:20:25But I'm doing five shows a day for a standing-room-only crowd.
1:20:25 > 1:20:30- Don't you get it? I already am home. - Uh-oh.
1:20:30 > 1:20:33All right now, dude, you gotta get it...
1:20:33 > 1:20:37- My son gave this to me. - That's your stick buddy?
1:20:37 > 1:20:41- His name is Twigman. - Does he wanna come with us?
1:20:41 > 1:20:43- GROANS:- Hey!
1:21:00 > 1:21:01Get the hell down!
1:21:01 > 1:21:05What you doing? What you doing? Don't touch that gun. Don't do it!
1:21:05 > 1:21:08Don't touch that gun! If you touch that gun...
1:21:11 > 1:21:13Ah!
1:21:13 > 1:21:15- Oh, shit, it's on!- Over here!
1:21:19 > 1:21:21ROARS
1:21:21 > 1:21:23BOTH YELL
1:21:40 > 1:21:41GUNFIRE
1:21:45 > 1:21:48Shadow me, Pinocchio! Smoke!
1:21:59 > 1:22:02Jeff, don't!
1:22:02 > 1:22:05It doesn't matter what I do.
1:22:05 > 1:22:07I'll always be a screw-up. No-one'll respect me.
1:22:07 > 1:22:11That's not true. You're not a screw-up! You make people laugh.
1:22:11 > 1:22:15- They only laugh at my farts. - Jeff, we really need to go now!
1:22:15 > 1:22:17This is all I deserve!
1:22:17 > 1:22:19SPEAK MANDARIN
1:22:25 > 1:22:27FARTS
1:22:27 > 1:22:31LAUGHTER
1:22:31 > 1:22:35ROARS
1:22:35 > 1:22:38Laugh at that, you bastards!
1:22:38 > 1:22:41Ha-ha! Oh, hilarious! Hilarious!
1:22:43 > 1:22:48Let's move. We only have 16 hours before they wake up.
1:22:52 > 1:22:53ALARM BLARES
1:22:53 > 1:22:58The dinner bell's ringing. These assholes'll be crawling in here.
1:23:00 > 1:23:03There. All right, you keep six right here.
1:23:05 > 1:23:07Come on, let's go.
1:23:07 > 1:23:11- What are you doing? Let's get out of here!- He's on tilt status.
1:23:11 > 1:23:15Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot.
1:23:15 > 1:23:18They found me in an alley, trying to re-enter the Earth's atmosphere
1:23:18 > 1:23:20in an old refrigerator box.
1:23:25 > 1:23:28Give me the flame thrower. Start the chopper.
1:23:28 > 1:23:31- No, fuck that! Just give me this. - No time! I'll take care of this!
1:23:31 > 1:23:34All right. Give me your hooks.
1:23:34 > 1:23:37- Don't worry, I won't put 'em on again.- Give me your goddamn hooks.
1:23:37 > 1:23:41- All right. Here.- Get those boys back to the bird pronto!
1:23:45 > 1:23:47Shit! Enough!
1:23:47 > 1:23:50Fake shit! Agh!
1:23:52 > 1:23:54Fuck!
1:24:00 > 1:24:04Go get your guys! Get them to the chopper!
1:24:04 > 1:24:08I'll take care of these yahoos!
1:24:08 > 1:24:12- Focus, motherfucker, and say it. It's me, Tugg!- It's me, Tugg.
1:24:12 > 1:24:17- That's right! Now, Tugg who?- Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?- Me?
1:24:17 > 1:24:22I know who I am! I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.
1:24:22 > 1:24:25- What?- You a dude that don't know what dude he is!
1:24:25 > 1:24:28Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is
1:24:28 > 1:24:31- and claims to know what dude he is... - What the fuck?
1:24:31 > 1:24:34- ..by playing other dudes?- I know what dude I am!- You're scared.
1:24:34 > 1:24:38- I ain't scared. Scared of what? - Or scared of who?- Scared of who?
1:24:38 > 1:24:42- Come, on guys. We really need to go! - Scared of you.
1:24:43 > 1:24:45YELLS
1:24:45 > 1:24:48- Jesus.- What's going on? - SOBBING
1:24:48 > 1:24:52- The dudes are emerging. - He's right, you know.
1:24:53 > 1:24:58I am not Sergeant Lincoln Osiris.
1:25:01 > 1:25:03We gotta roll out.
1:25:03 > 1:25:07- IRISH ACCENT: - Nor am I Father O'Malley.
1:25:08 > 1:25:12- GRUFF AMERICAN ACCENT: - Or Neil Armstrong.
1:25:18 > 1:25:21- AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: - I think I might be nobody.
1:25:21 > 1:25:26Wow! The insecurity level with you guys is ridiculous!
1:25:26 > 1:25:30- Everybody's got issues!- Yeah, man, everybody got issues.- Come on!
1:25:30 > 1:25:32You're Kirk Lazarus.
1:25:32 > 1:25:35You're the whole reason I got into acting. I memorised
1:25:35 > 1:25:40- every single monologue you did when I was in theatre school.- Really?
1:25:40 > 1:25:44Yeah. And, Tugg, I saw Scorcher 124 times when I was in eighth grade.
1:25:44 > 1:25:47That shit blew me away! You the man!
1:25:47 > 1:25:49Yeah. Let's get the fuck out of here!
1:25:49 > 1:25:54Tugg? Tugger, you're the last piece of the puzzle, buddy.
1:25:54 > 1:25:58We need you! Your men need you! Are you with us?
1:26:00 > 1:26:04- I'm a rooster illusion.- Fuck it. We'll deal with him later.- Shit.
1:26:04 > 1:26:07- Let's move. - Come on. Double time. Gotta go!
1:26:09 > 1:26:12Come on, come on, come on.
1:26:12 > 1:26:14YELLS
1:26:14 > 1:26:17Bingo! Move out.
1:26:18 > 1:26:21Oh, God.
1:26:21 > 1:26:25Just say no to this, you drug-making midget.
1:26:29 > 1:26:31Gotta hold on!
1:26:36 > 1:26:38Four Leaf!
1:26:39 > 1:26:41BOTH GROAN
1:26:41 > 1:26:43You grew hands?
1:26:52 > 1:26:55RPG, gentlemen!
1:26:55 > 1:26:57- YELLING - Where are you going?
1:26:59 > 1:27:01YELLS
1:27:02 > 1:27:06Oh, my God. I am moving to catering after this.
1:27:15 > 1:27:18DISTORTED SHOUTING
1:27:26 > 1:27:28My ass!
1:27:30 > 1:27:33My ass! Agh!
1:27:33 > 1:27:37Hey, yo! We gotta get our shit together, Tugg!
1:27:37 > 1:27:41We gotta get his cracker ass to the chopper! Are you still crazy?
1:27:41 > 1:27:45- We gotta get Candisky to the chopper!- It's Sandusky.
1:27:46 > 1:27:50- Kevin Sandusky. - That's my name.
1:27:50 > 1:27:53- You remembered my name. - Alpa, go help Cody.
1:27:53 > 1:27:58- Portnoy, get Sandusky back to the chopper. Go!- I got him!- Let's go!
1:27:58 > 1:28:00Let's get out of here!
1:28:12 > 1:28:13Hey, Leaf!
1:28:13 > 1:28:17- Leaf!- Yeah?- Hit the plunger as soon as they clear the bridge!- Got it!
1:28:18 > 1:28:22Come on! Get in the chopper! Come on! Move!
1:28:22 > 1:28:24Kirk! Wait!
1:28:26 > 1:28:30- < What the hell is he doing? - Laz, I'm gonna blow the bridge!
1:28:30 > 1:28:33- Leaf's about to blow the bridge. - You don't have to! I'm staying.
1:28:33 > 1:28:37- No, I can't let you do that, mate. We gotta go.- I'm not being crazy.
1:28:37 > 1:28:40They'll listen to me. I have a connection with them.
1:28:40 > 1:28:44- Get over here! - I have a son now. Little Half Squat.
1:28:44 > 1:28:46Who in crikey fuck is Half Squat?
1:28:46 > 1:28:50He's my son. He's my boy! He needs me. I have to go back to him.
1:28:53 > 1:28:56- You tell the world what happened here.- What happened here?
1:28:56 > 1:28:59I don't know, but you need to tell them.
1:29:00 > 1:29:03I got this.
1:29:03 > 1:29:10- Tugg!- You take care of the boys! I'll deal with these guys.
1:29:10 > 1:29:13Where is he going? We're gonna fucking die!
1:29:13 > 1:29:16Laz, come on. He joined the circus. Let's go.
1:29:16 > 1:29:20- You've got hands.- Yeah.- Fuck! You've got hands?- Come on! Come on!
1:29:20 > 1:29:25- Come on! Get in!- Come on! - He's staying?- He's a lost cause!
1:29:25 > 1:29:27- Get out of here! - GUNFIRE >
1:29:30 > 1:29:34I was wrong! Blow the bridge! Blow the fucking bridge!
1:29:39 > 1:29:41I got this.
1:29:41 > 1:29:42Leaf, no!
1:29:56 > 1:29:59YELLING
1:30:01 > 1:30:04CONTINUES TO YELL
1:30:04 > 1:30:07Ogh! Whoa!
1:30:25 > 1:30:28It's over! He's gone!
1:30:28 > 1:30:31Cody! We gotta go!
1:30:31 > 1:30:33Look.
1:30:54 > 1:30:57Think he's done. Cover me!
1:30:57 > 1:31:01- Come on!- Wait, come back!
1:31:01 > 1:31:03How do we cover him?
1:31:07 > 1:31:11All right, game over. Come on, mate. Come on. You all right, man?
1:31:11 > 1:31:15I'm cold. I can't feel my legs.
1:31:15 > 1:31:18No, no, they're in a puddle. See? There's a puddle there. No worries.
1:31:18 > 1:31:24- Oh, good.- Come on, we gotta split. - You guys came back for me.- Course.
1:31:24 > 1:31:27- Hey! I want you to know something. - What?
1:31:27 > 1:31:29I know who you are.
1:31:30 > 1:31:33You're my friend.
1:31:35 > 1:31:40You're my brother. But like a really cool brother, you know?
1:31:40 > 1:31:44- Like a brother with no animosity... - You got real tears going.
1:31:44 > 1:31:47- Really?- That's the stuff accolades are made of.
1:31:47 > 1:31:50Jesus, let's go, man! >
1:31:51 > 1:31:52Upsy-daisy.
1:31:55 > 1:31:57Come on! Come on! Come on! Let's go! Let's go!
1:31:57 > 1:31:59YELLING
1:31:59 > 1:32:03- Get in! Get in! - Come on!- Here we go!
1:32:05 > 1:32:08< Tuggernuts! I got it!
1:32:10 > 1:32:12- Tugger!- Rick!
1:32:15 > 1:32:18- What the fuck?- I got the TiVo!
1:32:18 > 1:32:23My friend wants a TiVo, my friend gets a TiVo!
1:32:28 > 1:32:30Oh, shit!
1:32:49 > 1:32:51Yeah, yeah, yeah! Whoo!
1:32:59 > 1:33:02APPLAUSE
1:33:04 > 1:33:06And the Oscar goes to...
1:33:08 > 1:33:11Yes! Tugg Speedman.
1:33:11 > 1:33:15Tropic Blunder: The True Story Behind the Making
1:33:15 > 1:33:19of the Most Expensive Fake True War Story Ever.
1:33:25 > 1:33:28- Yeah, you son of a bitch! - BOTH LAUGH
1:33:41 > 1:33:43CHEERING
1:33:45 > 1:33:48Eight Oscars, 400 million
1:33:48 > 1:33:51and you saved Tugg Speedman's career.
1:33:51 > 1:33:55Mmm! I couldn't have done it without you, Slolom.
1:33:57 > 1:34:00- Really? - No, dickhead, of course I could.
1:34:00 > 1:34:04- A nutless monkey could do your job. - Well, I...- Now, go get drunk
1:34:04 > 1:34:09- and take credit at all the parties. - I would never do that to...- Joking.
1:34:09 > 1:34:12- Yeah?- Yeah. - Very... OK, there he is.
1:34:12 > 1:34:16- There he is.- Go have fun.- All right. We're having a... Fuck. OK.
1:34:16 > 1:34:19- Thank you, Les. Have a good night. - But seriously,
1:34:19 > 1:34:23- a nutless monkey could do your job. - Good. Thank you, sir.
1:34:24 > 1:34:27DOOR CLOSES
1:34:33 > 1:34:35BEEPING
1:34:39 > 1:34:40MUSIC: "Get Back" by Ludacris
1:34:40 > 1:34:42- # Heads up- Heads up
1:34:42 > 1:34:44- # Whoo, whoo- Heads up
1:34:44 > 1:34:45# Whoo, whoo, whoo
1:34:45 > 1:34:48- # Here's another one- Another one - And a, and a- And another one
1:34:48 > 1:34:49- # And another one- Whoa
1:34:49 > 1:34:51# Yeek-yeek, woop-woop Why you all in my ear?
1:34:51 > 1:34:54# Talkin' a whole bunch a shit That I ain't tryin' to hear
1:34:54 > 1:34:57# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that
1:34:57 > 1:34:59# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that
1:34:59 > 1:35:03- # Whoo - # So, so, so come on, come on
1:35:03 > 1:35:05# Don't Get swung on, swung on
1:35:05 > 1:35:07# It's the knick-knack-patty-whack
1:35:07 > 1:35:09# Still riding Cadillacs Family off the streets
1:35:09 > 1:35:11- # Made my homies put the baggies back - # Whoo
1:35:11 > 1:35:13- # Still stackin' plaques- Yup - Still action-packed- Yup
1:35:13 > 1:35:15# And dope
1:35:15 > 1:35:16# I keep it flippin' like acrobats
1:35:16 > 1:35:19# That's why I pack a mack That'll crack a back
1:35:19 > 1:35:22# Cos on my waist, there's more heat than the Shaq-attack
1:35:22 > 1:35:24- # But I ain't speakin' about ballin' - # Ballin'
1:35:24 > 1:35:27# Just thinkin' about brawlin' Till y'all start ballin'
1:35:27 > 1:35:30# We all in together now Birds of a feather now
1:35:30 > 1:35:32# Just bought a plane So we changin' the weather now
1:35:32 > 1:35:35# So put your brakes on Cats, put your capes on
1:35:35 > 1:35:37# And knock off your block, get dropped and have your face blown
1:35:37 > 1:35:40# Cos I'll prove it Scratch off the music
1:35:40 > 1:35:43# Like hey, little stupid Don't make me lose it
1:35:43 > 1:35:45# Yeek-yeek, woop-woop Why you all in my ear?
1:35:45 > 1:35:48# Talkin' a whole bunch a shit That I ain't tryin' to hear
1:35:48 > 1:35:50# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that
1:35:50 > 1:35:53# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that
1:35:53 > 1:35:56# Yeek-yeek, woop-woop I ain't playin' around
1:35:56 > 1:35:59# Make one false move I'll take you down
1:35:59 > 1:36:01# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that
1:36:01 > 1:36:04# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that
1:36:04 > 1:36:06- # I came- I came - I saw- I saw
1:36:06 > 1:36:10- # I hit him right dead in the jaw - # In the jaw
1:36:10 > 1:36:12# See, I caught him with a right hook Caught him with a jab
1:36:12 > 1:36:15# Caught him with an upper cut Kicked him in his ass
1:36:15 > 1:36:17# Sent him on his way Cos I ain't for that talk
1:36:17 > 1:36:20# And no trips to the county I ain't for that walk
1:36:20 > 1:36:23# We split like two pins At the end of a lane
1:36:23 > 1:36:25# We'll knock out your spotlight And put an end to your fame
1:36:25 > 1:36:28# Put a DTP pendant at the end of your chain
1:36:28 > 1:36:31# And put the booty of a swish at the end of a flame
1:36:31 > 1:36:33# Yeek-yeek, woop-woop Why you all in my ear?
1:36:33 > 1:36:36# Talkin' a whole bunch a shit That I ain't tryin to hear
1:36:36 > 1:36:39# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that
1:36:39 > 1:36:41# Get back, motherfucker You don't know me like that! #