Dean Spanley

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0:01:52 > 0:01:53Morning.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57'It is a commonplace observation

0:01:57 > 0:02:01'that remarkable events often have ordinary beginnings.'

0:02:02 > 0:02:07'Never was this more true than of my talks with Dean Spanley,

0:02:07 > 0:02:09'which form the spine of our narrative.'

0:02:09 > 0:02:11- Morning.- Morning!

0:02:11 > 0:02:14'Properly speaking, they began on a Thursday,

0:02:14 > 0:02:18'the day on which I visit my father, Mr Horatio Fisk.'

0:02:19 > 0:02:21'This habit,

0:02:21 > 0:02:24'one might even say ritual,

0:02:24 > 0:02:26'commenced after the death of my younger brother, Harrington,

0:02:26 > 0:02:28'in the Boer War,

0:02:28 > 0:02:31'and the subsequent demise of my dear Mama,

0:02:31 > 0:02:36'occasioned by her grief at this... unsupportable loss.'

0:02:49 > 0:02:53I'm coming, I'm coming! >

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Morning, Mrs Brimley.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00- How are you today? - As you see me.

0:03:00 > 0:03:04- Could complain, but what'd be the use of that?- Yes, indeed.

0:03:11 > 0:03:16- And himself?- Oh, he's working himself up into a head of steam.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20You know how he gets.

0:03:20 > 0:03:25Sent back the paper, he did, to have it properly ironed!

0:03:25 > 0:03:29I'm just finishing the obituaries, so you can take it in to him.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32I thought he didn't read the obituaries.

0:03:32 > 0:03:36No more he does, but he wants them ironed just the same.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Says he doesn't read them

0:03:38 > 0:03:41because he's afraid he'll come across his own name one day.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43I ask you!

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Do you believe in the transmigration of souls, Mrs Brimley?

0:04:03 > 0:04:05I don't believe in letting foreigners in,

0:04:05 > 0:04:08if that's what you mean.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11No, um,... reincarnation,

0:04:11 > 0:04:14not immigration. Erm...

0:04:14 > 0:04:20The belief that the immortal soul has many earthly homes.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Well, I haven't given it much thought, I haven't.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28After Albert died,...

0:04:28 > 0:04:32..I went to one of them mediums, but she couldn't get hold of him.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35I wasn't surprised. He never said much when he were alive.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39I couldn't imagine him piping up once he were dead.

0:04:39 > 0:04:43Mind you don't crease that, now.

0:04:44 > 0:04:48He won't know what day it is, not having seen the paper.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11KNOCKS AT DOOR

0:05:38 > 0:05:40Oh, young Fisk.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43- It must be Thursday. - It is indeed.

0:05:43 > 0:05:48Very handy, a Thursday. Keeps Wednesday and Friday from colliding.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51You're here, then.

0:06:01 > 0:06:05- You should have the garden seen to, Father.- That was your mother's job.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07Nevertheless.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Nevertheless... What does that expression mean, I ask you?

0:06:10 > 0:06:12Nevertheless.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16Might as well be clearing your throat, for all the sense it makes.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER OUTSIDE

0:06:19 > 0:06:24Well, it's a fine day, Father. Have you anything particular in mind?

0:06:24 > 0:06:27I can see how fine the day is. As for particular in mind,

0:06:27 > 0:06:30everything is particular when you get down to it.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32What I meant was, do you have any plans?

0:06:32 > 0:06:36Are there any concerts or...

0:06:36 > 0:06:38..exhibitions,

0:06:38 > 0:06:40diversions you wish to attend?

0:06:40 > 0:06:42There's nothing about the war.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44We're not at war, as far as I know.

0:06:44 > 0:06:48Diversions, you say. That's all that's left, you know,

0:06:48 > 0:06:53before stepping out of the anteroom of eternity.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56There is a display of aboriginal weapons

0:06:56 > 0:06:58from our wars of imperial conquest...

0:06:58 > 0:07:02'Such was the common procedure of my relationship with my father.'

0:07:02 > 0:07:05'I, carrying out my filial duty,

0:07:05 > 0:07:07'would arrive with the best of intentions.'

0:07:07 > 0:07:12'He, indulging his practised yet primitive paternal instincts,

0:07:12 > 0:07:16'would play a strange game of control.'

0:07:16 > 0:07:19'As Thursday upon Thursday arrived,

0:07:19 > 0:07:23'I'd become more and more determined to see this game dismantled.'

0:07:23 > 0:07:26..a collection of Georgian shoe buckles.

0:07:26 > 0:07:28Over 2,000 items.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32That was an era when a gentleman could spend a fortune

0:07:32 > 0:07:33ornamenting his feet.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Did we win the Boer War?

0:07:39 > 0:07:43I believe we lost more slowly than the other side.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45Garden never recovered from it.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52You know, there is a lecture by one Swami Nala Prash

0:07:52 > 0:07:55on the transmigration of souls.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Poppycock!

0:07:58 > 0:08:02Think if we had souls they wouldn't get in touch? Of course they would.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05Think your mother wouldn't be onto me about that garden? Of course!

0:08:05 > 0:08:09Still, it seems the most likely of the lot, wouldn't you say?

0:08:09 > 0:08:12It's being held at the home of the Nawab of Ranjiput.

0:08:12 > 0:08:16- Isn't that the cricketing Indian chappie?- Yes, I believe so.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Oh, well. Let's take a look.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21Heard he's turned the ballroom into a cricket pitch.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23Mad as badgers, these nawabs.

0:08:23 > 0:08:27Oh, by the way, I've invested in a chair vehicle.

0:08:27 > 0:08:30Makes walking unnecessary. You'll enjoy it.

0:08:30 > 0:08:34Mrs Brimley! My chair!

0:08:34 > 0:08:37GRAND MUSIC

0:08:37 > 0:08:40- Watch your step, young Fisk. - Thank you, Father.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47- How is it going? - Very smoothly so far!

0:08:47 > 0:08:50So it should. Latest model.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53Guaranteed to last longer than the user.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56- Not that that means very much. - Nonsense, Father.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04ENGINE CHUGS

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- HORN TOOTS - Damned machines!

0:09:10 > 0:09:13Be the death of all of us, they will.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17Progress, Father, occasions certain inconveniences.

0:09:17 > 0:09:21Galsworthy, old son.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24- How are you? - Very well, sir.

0:09:25 > 0:09:29Hey-ho! Well done, chair!

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Give you a hand with the buggy?

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- Grab hold. - That's kind of you.

0:09:34 > 0:09:38- Buggy, indeed!- My pleasure, sir. Clyde-built by the feel of it.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44CHEERING

0:09:48 > 0:09:52MUSIC: Jerusalem played on sitar

0:09:57 > 0:10:00GLASS SMASHES, LOUD CHEERS

0:10:00 > 0:10:02WOMAN: Always a pleasure.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Thank you! Thank you!

0:10:06 > 0:10:10Damn foolish game, cricket, if you ask me! Too many rules.

0:10:12 > 0:10:16- Howzat!- Not out, I say.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Not exactly a full house, is it?

0:10:29 > 0:10:32Want to be where we can see the yellow of his eyes.

0:10:34 > 0:10:38I declare, that's Spanley, dean of St Justus.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41Not that I ever go, so he may've been kicked out by now.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44- Father, keep your voice down! - What?- Shh!

0:10:46 > 0:10:48Dean Spanley, did you say?

0:10:48 > 0:10:50Not me. Chap with the dog collar.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54What's a dean doing at a sermon on reincarnation?

0:10:54 > 0:10:58- Exactly my thought. - I think it shows open-mindedness.

0:10:58 > 0:11:02Impending apostasy, more like. Seen the error of his Christian ways!

0:11:02 > 0:11:05- The name's Wrather, with a W. - Fisk.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08- What brings you here, Mr Fisk? - Ask young Fisk. His idea.

0:11:08 > 0:11:09The lesser of several evils.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12GONG

0:11:15 > 0:11:20Well, there you are. I thought I got a thin edge onto my pad,

0:11:20 > 0:11:23but when the umpire raises his finger, you have to walk.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26That's life. And cricket.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Well, then, time to bring on Swami Prash.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Of what he will tell you, I have no particular opinion, but...

0:11:32 > 0:11:35I've always held him in high regard as a cricketer.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38Bowled decent left-arm leg breaks before he went holy.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42Haven't seen him play since, but I'm sure he's the sportsman he was. Hmm!

0:11:44 > 0:11:46APPLAUSE

0:11:51 > 0:11:54'I confess, the appearance of Swami Prash

0:11:54 > 0:11:55'came as something of a surprise,

0:11:55 > 0:11:59'even a disappointment.'

0:11:59 > 0:12:02'Although I had no clear expectation of what a holy man would look like,

0:12:02 > 0:12:06'I had imagined one with such a title and discussing such a subject

0:12:06 > 0:12:09'to have been dressed more... traditionally.'

0:12:21 > 0:12:27The question of the transmigration of the soul,

0:12:27 > 0:12:33perhaps more familiarly known to you as reincarnation,

0:12:33 > 0:12:36has been the structural underpinning

0:12:36 > 0:12:41of Indian philosophical and religious thought for millennia.

0:12:41 > 0:12:42Only recently...

0:12:42 > 0:12:45'What ensued proved to be as unilluminating a 50 minutes

0:12:45 > 0:12:49'as I can remember spending outside the confines

0:12:49 > 0:12:53- 'of parliamentary debate.' - ..esoteric wisdom...

0:12:53 > 0:12:59'Indeed, the most significant fact I gleaned from the experience was,

0:12:59 > 0:13:01'that with my eyes closed,

0:13:01 > 0:13:04'the lecturer could've been a Welshman.'

0:13:04 > 0:13:08..a little, if only a little,

0:13:08 > 0:13:10closer.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12SNORES

0:13:12 > 0:13:16I should be pleased now to answer any questions you may have.

0:13:16 > 0:13:17Where am I?!

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Be quiet.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23You are, my dear sir,

0:13:23 > 0:13:25in the anteroom of eternity

0:13:25 > 0:13:29- with the rest of us sojourning souls.- What?!

0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Yes, madam?- I-I was, er,...

0:13:32 > 0:13:36w-we were, that is, wondering if...

0:13:36 > 0:13:40- Did he say the anteroom of eternity? - Shh!

0:13:40 > 0:13:42- What?- Shh. - ..animals, if they...

0:13:42 > 0:13:46Pets, really. The souls of pets!

0:13:46 > 0:13:50That is a most interesting question,

0:13:50 > 0:13:55- and I thank you for asking it. - WOMAN CHUCKLES WITH PRIDE

0:13:55 > 0:13:57It is generally supposed

0:13:57 > 0:14:02that the animal soul must be of a different

0:14:02 > 0:14:05and, by inference, inferior nature to the human soul.

0:14:05 > 0:14:11The soul is that part of the godhead, of All That Is...

0:14:11 > 0:14:16What you said before, sir, about the anteroom of eternity...

0:14:16 > 0:14:20Would you be kind enough to allow the swami to finish his thought?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Well, well!- Shh!- What?- Shush!

0:14:27 > 0:14:30However, although all animals

0:14:30 > 0:14:33have their specific awareness of the godhead,

0:14:33 > 0:14:36the dog is,

0:14:36 > 0:14:42by virtue of his singular relationship with all mankind, unique.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44WOMEN: What about cats?

0:14:44 > 0:14:49The dog...amplifies,

0:14:49 > 0:14:51the cat diminishes...

0:14:51 > 0:14:55man's estimation of himself.

0:14:57 > 0:14:58Poppycock!

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Howzat! >

0:15:02 > 0:15:05So I shall wish you gentlemen good day.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09I can be found here most mornings and of the occasional evening.

0:15:09 > 0:15:13- What exactly is a conveyancer? - Well, nothing, exactly. More a service of facilitation.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16Assisting a thing to be moved between parties.

0:15:16 > 0:15:19So you're a middleman.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22Well, sometimes in the middle and sometimes at either end.

0:15:22 > 0:15:27- Been a great pleasure, sir.- You're easily pleased, is all I can say.

0:15:30 > 0:15:34Mrs Travers, did I ever mention that I collect birds?

0:15:34 > 0:15:37I'm a real cornucopian!

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Only thing that made sense in the whole farrago

0:15:44 > 0:15:48was what the chap said about dogs thinking you're better than you are.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52Canine flattery is a survival mechanism, according to Darwin.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54The chap never had a dog, is all I can say.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56I thought he had a beagle.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59I had a dog once. Wag.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02One of the seven great dogs.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04At any one time, you know, there are

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- only seven. Did you know that? - I can't say I did.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11Neither did that swami. Made me think he didn't know much about dogs.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Let's go to my club, have a stiff one.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16I thought you didn't go any more.

0:16:16 > 0:16:20That was in the past. This is the present, young Fisk.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23No time like the present, as that swami called it.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26- What was it? The Eternal Now? - I don't know, sir.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28I wasn't listening.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33SIGHS IN EXERTION

0:16:37 > 0:16:40Ahh! How are you, Marriot?

0:16:40 > 0:16:42I'm well, sir. And yourself?

0:16:42 > 0:16:45Oh, one step nearer the grave.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49How's that boy of yours? Tommy, isn't it?

0:16:49 > 0:16:51Yes, sir.

0:16:51 > 0:16:52Tommy, sir.

0:16:52 > 0:16:56He... He's dead, sir. He...

0:16:56 > 0:16:58The war, sir. The Boer War.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00Oh, the Boers.

0:17:00 > 0:17:04Lost one myself in that nonsense.

0:17:05 > 0:17:08Haven't seen you for a while, sir.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17Hasn't changed much.

0:17:17 > 0:17:21- Clubs aren't supposed to change, surely. Part of their charm.- Mm.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26There's that chap again. Is he following us?

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Where are you going?

0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Fisk.- What?

0:17:35 > 0:17:39Horatio Fisk. This is young Fisk.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42Surprised we were to see you at the nawab's.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44Oh, yes, yes.

0:17:44 > 0:17:49So, what did you make of all that mumble-jumble?

0:17:49 > 0:17:53The beliefs of others are always of interest.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56Really? Tell me this, then.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58Why don't they get in touch?

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Souls, I mean. Never a word from beyond the grave.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06You'd think one of them would've given a shout.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10Well, I imagine if the swami is correct,

0:18:10 > 0:18:14they're all too busy being whoever they've become.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17- And what about him pinching my line? - What line was that?

0:18:17 > 0:18:19The anteroom of eternity.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21I'd rather thought that common usage.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25Not at all! Out of my own head that came.

0:18:25 > 0:18:29Rather like having your pocket picked. What's that you're drinking?

0:18:29 > 0:18:33Ah... This is Tokay.

0:18:33 > 0:18:37Not an Imperial, I'm afraid, but... good enough, for all that.

0:18:37 > 0:18:40It's a bit syrupy for my taste.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Well, we'll leave you to it.

0:18:46 > 0:18:50You must excuse my father. He can be...rather impulsive.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Not at all.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Pardon me, Dean, but...

0:18:57 > 0:18:59erm...

0:18:59 > 0:19:02am I to understand you give some credence to these beliefs?

0:19:04 > 0:19:08Only the closed mind is certain, sir.

0:19:08 > 0:19:09Oh, I agree.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13I agree.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16- Good day, sir. - Good day to you, sir.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Rum chap, Spanley.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Do you know him well enough to form that opinion?

0:19:35 > 0:19:37One can tell. Not quite sound.

0:19:37 > 0:19:41Dabbling in Eastern religion. Drinking that Hungarian treacle.

0:19:41 > 0:19:45Can I get you gentlemen a drink?

0:19:45 > 0:19:50I'd like a brandy and soda, Marriot, with the emphasis on the brandy.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52I'll have the Tokay.

0:19:52 > 0:19:57I'm afraid that won't be possible, sir. The Tokay's private stock.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00The dean keeps a bottle for his personal use.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Very hard to come by, I believe.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06Damned unsociable of him. Told you the fellow wasn't sound.

0:20:06 > 0:20:10In that case, I'll have a brandy and soda, as well.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12In the inverse ratio.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15Yes, of course, sir.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20If I...

0:20:20 > 0:20:23may say so, Mr Fisk, I...

0:20:23 > 0:20:26I'm most sorry to hear of your loss.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28What?

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Your boy, sir. In the war.

0:20:33 > 0:20:34Wasn't my loss!

0:20:34 > 0:20:36He's the one got killed.

0:20:40 > 0:20:41Sir.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46That was, even for you, Father, a singularly callous remark.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Nothing of the sort.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Here we sit, about to be served brandy and sodas.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56What's our loss compared to your brother's?

0:20:59 > 0:21:05Women with the vote is like a cow with a gun - contrary to nature.

0:21:05 > 0:21:09'Walking home, listening to my father assert a variety of things

0:21:09 > 0:21:13'in tones of unbrookable authority,

0:21:13 > 0:21:17'Dean Spanley's words returned to me with renewed force.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20'Only the closed mind is certain.'

0:21:25 > 0:21:28An excellent hotpot, Mrs Brimley.

0:21:28 > 0:21:32It ought to be, seeing as how I've made it for you about 500 times!

0:21:35 > 0:21:38Thank you.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40SNORING

0:21:40 > 0:21:42"It may well be supposed that this turn of events

0:21:42 > 0:21:46"came as a most disagreeable surprise to Mr Chuttleworth,

0:21:46 > 0:21:51"accustomed as he was to having his every whim catered for."

0:21:51 > 0:21:53'I confess I had, until that moment,

0:21:53 > 0:21:56'always supposed certainty to be rather a good thing.'

0:21:56 > 0:22:00'Like money in the bank.'

0:22:00 > 0:22:03'But something in the day's events had occasioned in me a certain...

0:22:03 > 0:22:06'disquiet, a sense that...'

0:22:06 > 0:22:09There may be more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,

0:22:09 > 0:22:12than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16< SNORING

0:22:26 > 0:22:28MUTTERING

0:23:51 > 0:23:55I'll be off, Mrs Brimley. He's dozing in the study.

0:23:55 > 0:23:59Oh, I'll have to wake him up, otherwise he won't sleep tonight!

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Does he ever mention my brother?

0:24:10 > 0:24:14Your father doesn't hold with grieving, Mr Fisk,

0:24:14 > 0:24:15as you well know.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18No, that's right.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22No, you're right.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Thank you, Mrs Brimley.

0:24:27 > 0:24:31- And thank you for the hotpot. - Oh, don't you start, young man!

0:24:31 > 0:24:33Hotpot! That's all he'll let me cook for him.

0:24:33 > 0:24:38Creature of habit, he is! Knows what he wants without having to think.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40The certainty of a closed mind.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Well, I don't know about that.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45But you do know where you are with him.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Where you was before.

0:24:48 > 0:24:49Nowhere!

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Bye-bye.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54- I'll see you next Thursday. - Like as not.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59Creatures of habit. Oh!

0:25:06 > 0:25:10'I've heard it said that one encounter is a happenstance,

0:25:10 > 0:25:12'two a coincidence

0:25:12 > 0:25:16'and three a significance.'

0:25:17 > 0:25:19'Be that as it may,

0:25:19 > 0:25:21'that day, I found myself,

0:25:21 > 0:25:25'for the third time, in the presence of Dean Spanley,

0:25:25 > 0:25:30'a man who, until that day, I did not know existed.'

0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Oh! - CAT MEOWS

0:25:33 > 0:25:36- Is it stuck up there? - It rather appears so.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39They never think of that when they go up,

0:25:39 > 0:25:42which I consider a reflection on their intelligence.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Probably chased by a dog.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Dean?

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Dean Spanley?

0:25:49 > 0:25:53Hello! I met you earlier at your club.

0:25:53 > 0:25:57I was introduced by my father. Mr Fisk.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Oh.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01And you were at the nawab's. CAT MEOWS

0:26:01 > 0:26:04- Ah, yes. - CHURCH BELLS RING

0:26:04 > 0:26:07I am most eager to hear your further views

0:26:07 > 0:26:09on the subject of reincarnation.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12I have no special knowledge on the matter.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15Compared to my own, I'm sure yours are encyclopaedic.

0:26:15 > 0:26:18I was wondering if I might invite you to dinner one evening.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22I'm afraid that with my schedule, that would be rather difficult.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25I would not presume upon so short an acquaintance

0:26:25 > 0:26:29were it not that I've come into possession of a bottle of Tokay.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31An Imperial Tokay.

0:26:33 > 0:26:36- An Imperial Tokay? - Yes.

0:26:39 > 0:26:43One must be on one's guard against the common or garden variety.

0:26:43 > 0:26:44What year?

0:26:44 > 0:26:47An '89, I believe.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49An '89, you say?

0:26:49 > 0:26:54Was... Is that a good year?

0:26:54 > 0:26:59Oh, yes. How do you come to be in possession of such a treasure?

0:26:59 > 0:27:02You must be very well connected, Mr...?

0:27:02 > 0:27:06Fisk. Henslowe Fisk.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Well... Well...

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Perhaps I might manage...

0:27:13 > 0:27:16Thursday, if that would be convenient?

0:27:16 > 0:27:21Most convenient. Shall we say seven o'clock?

0:27:21 > 0:27:25- Very well. Until then. - Good day, sir.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29'89... Goodness me!

0:27:29 > 0:27:32LOUD MEOWING

0:27:33 > 0:27:37I wouldn't call it a lie, puss.

0:27:37 > 0:27:41More like a truth deferred. Nothing worse.

0:27:46 > 0:27:50'It had not occurred to me when I made my overture to the dean

0:27:50 > 0:27:53'that procuring his favourite tipple would prove such a challenge.'

0:27:53 > 0:27:56- Oi! Come back here! - SHOUTING

0:28:05 > 0:28:08Very hard to find an Imperial Tokay, sir. There are what you might call

0:28:08 > 0:28:11commercial counterfeits. But the real thing -

0:28:11 > 0:28:13that's another story altogether.

0:28:13 > 0:28:16It's made solely for the Hapsburg monarchy.

0:28:16 > 0:28:19Takes a royal decree to have one uncorked.

0:28:19 > 0:28:23You would need to know somebody with such connections.

0:28:23 > 0:28:24I see.

0:28:26 > 0:28:30Tell me this. If...

0:28:30 > 0:28:34King Edward himself were to come you and say,

0:28:34 > 0:28:37"Find me one or two bottles of Tokay," what would you say to him?

0:28:37 > 0:28:41Well, I would suggest, most respectfully, that he...

0:28:41 > 0:28:44uses his family connections in order to affect the conveyancing.

0:28:44 > 0:28:48So he'd have a lot more chance of success than I would, sir.

0:28:50 > 0:28:52Of course.

0:29:09 > 0:29:14The point of the exercise, drop every ball without a miss.

0:29:15 > 0:29:18Care for a small wager?

0:29:18 > 0:29:23No, thank you. No, you seem more than capable of performing such a feat.

0:29:26 > 0:29:30So you'd like to acquire a bottle of an '89 Tokay.

0:29:30 > 0:29:32An Imperial.

0:29:32 > 0:29:36- This an adventure of the romantic sort that you're embarking on? - Certainly not.

0:29:36 > 0:29:42It is said that the fair sex responds avidly to Tokay.

0:29:42 > 0:29:46Loosens the morals, and with it the corsets.

0:29:46 > 0:29:50- How high are you willing to go? - Whatever it costs.

0:29:50 > 0:29:54- Within reason.- Ah, yes. You see, there's the rub - within reason.

0:29:54 > 0:29:57- '89 Tokay not easy to come by. - So I understand.

0:30:00 > 0:30:04- So, what's your line, then? - Oh, this and that.

0:30:04 > 0:30:08- A bit of art publishing.- Any money in it?- A modest remuneration.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10The real reward is in the art itself.

0:30:10 > 0:30:12Though, I must admit,

0:30:12 > 0:30:16there must be rather more to be made in conveyancing.

0:30:16 > 0:30:20It's not all mine. I'm just a ground-floor tenant.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27How on earth did you come by all this stuff?

0:30:27 > 0:30:31My Auntie Molly was a hoarder. Caught it from her.

0:30:31 > 0:30:32What do you do with it?

0:30:32 > 0:30:36You never know when someone wants something you happen to have.

0:30:37 > 0:30:40Such as a bottle of Imperial Tokay.

0:30:40 > 0:30:42Really?

0:30:45 > 0:30:46Good grief.

0:30:46 > 0:30:49It's not an '89, I'm afraid. Will, er...

0:30:49 > 0:30:51Will a '91 do?

0:30:51 > 0:30:53It'll have to.

0:30:53 > 0:30:56I suppose I could say I was...

0:30:56 > 0:31:00promised an '89 and the man was mistaken.

0:31:00 > 0:31:02What do you think?

0:31:03 > 0:31:06- How much is this? - Five guineas to you.

0:31:06 > 0:31:08Five guineas?!

0:31:08 > 0:31:10That's a bit steep!

0:31:10 > 0:31:14These little things were sent to try us, as the man said of the pygmy judge.

0:31:18 > 0:31:20'Thursday?'

0:31:20 > 0:31:23Are there not six other perfectly adequate days,

0:31:23 > 0:31:27each equipped with portions of time suitable for such activities?

0:31:27 > 0:31:30- Thursday is the only day the dean is free.- Poppycock.

0:31:30 > 0:31:33- Deans have dinner every evening. - He has prior engagements.

0:31:33 > 0:31:37Is my Thursday not a prior engagement, young Fisk?

0:31:39 > 0:31:41CLOCK CHIMES

0:31:41 > 0:31:44What is going on?

0:31:45 > 0:31:48You're not getting married, I hope.

0:31:50 > 0:31:53- No.- Good.

0:31:56 > 0:31:59If I had it to do over again...

0:31:59 > 0:32:04Am I to understand from that remark that you regret marrying Mother?

0:32:04 > 0:32:06Fine woman, Alice.

0:32:08 > 0:32:11Very good in the garden.

0:32:12 > 0:32:16No...

0:32:16 > 0:32:18It's the children.

0:32:18 > 0:32:21Hostages to fortune is what they are.

0:32:21 > 0:32:24But there is no point to regretting things

0:32:24 > 0:32:27that have gone to the trouble of happening.

0:32:27 > 0:32:32And that is your reason for refusing to mourn Harrington?

0:32:32 > 0:32:36I warned your brother that the war would be bad for his health,

0:32:36 > 0:32:38but he knew better, the young fool.

0:32:38 > 0:32:41Your mother mourned him enough for both of us.

0:32:41 > 0:32:45Perhaps if you'd shared that burden she might not have found her grief so insupportable.

0:32:51 > 0:32:55I have nothing more to say on this subject.

0:32:55 > 0:32:57Please never mention it to me again.

0:32:57 > 0:33:00Close the door on your way out.

0:33:11 > 0:33:15Do you...miss your husband, Mrs Brimley?

0:33:15 > 0:33:16Miss him?

0:33:16 > 0:33:21Oh, well, he weren't hard to miss, were Albert!

0:33:21 > 0:33:25Kept himself to himself.

0:33:25 > 0:33:29Sat in that chair night after night, never said a word.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31Just nodded, sociable-like,

0:33:31 > 0:33:35and spat in the fire every now and again.

0:33:35 > 0:33:38That were Albert's one bad habit.

0:33:40 > 0:33:44I talk to the chair sometimes and it's just like old times.

0:33:44 > 0:33:46Except the chair don't spit!

0:33:56 > 0:34:00Thinking about your brother and your mum, are you?

0:34:01 > 0:34:04I just wish Father would...

0:34:07 > 0:34:11Well, Mr Fisk was never one for showing much.

0:34:13 > 0:34:15I remember that night up at the lake

0:34:15 > 0:34:20when you and young Harry went out on that cockleshell of a boat.

0:34:24 > 0:34:26Yes...

0:34:26 > 0:34:29Wasn't one of his finest moments.

0:34:32 > 0:34:35I'll let you get on, Mrs Brimley.

0:34:35 > 0:34:37Good night.

0:34:37 > 0:34:39Don't you worry about Thursday!

0:34:39 > 0:34:43I'll feed him his hotpot and he'll be right as rain.

0:34:43 > 0:34:46You just enjoy yourself with your friend.

0:35:15 > 0:35:17'But as Thursday evening arrived,

0:35:17 > 0:35:22'I found my enthusiasm for the event waning.

0:35:22 > 0:35:27'The whim that prompted me to extend the invitation had lost its piquancy,

0:35:27 > 0:35:30'and the sobering cost of Wrather's Tokay

0:35:30 > 0:35:36'played its part in making the whole venture seem...somewhat dubious.'

0:35:38 > 0:35:41I'm afraid I was mistaken about the vintage.

0:35:41 > 0:35:46The '89 was unavailable. This is... This is a '91.

0:35:46 > 0:35:49I do hope you're not too disappointed.

0:35:49 > 0:35:52Not at all.

0:35:52 > 0:35:55One would have to have a jaded palate indeed if the prospect

0:35:55 > 0:36:00of a '91 Kleverheld-Manschliess... were a disappointment.

0:36:03 > 0:36:05Properly decanted.

0:36:06 > 0:36:09No sign of sediment.

0:36:10 > 0:36:12Well done.

0:36:13 > 0:36:15Thank you.

0:36:21 > 0:36:26To think that such wine was once only opened by decree of a Hapsburg

0:36:26 > 0:36:30and now, through the vicissitudes of history,

0:36:30 > 0:36:35we lesser beings can command such an audience.

0:36:36 > 0:36:37Your very good health.

0:36:42 > 0:36:44INHALES DEEPLY

0:36:44 > 0:36:49'I must confess, my first taste of Tokay was not an illuminating moment.'

0:36:49 > 0:36:51< Ohhh!

0:36:51 > 0:36:54'Rather, my father's dismissal of it as being too syrupy

0:36:54 > 0:36:58'seemed remarkably close to the mark.'

0:36:58 > 0:37:01'However, in the dean,

0:37:01 > 0:37:03'its champion was to hand.'

0:37:09 > 0:37:12SIGHS WITH PLEASURE

0:37:12 > 0:37:13Ohh!

0:37:16 > 0:37:18Ohh...

0:37:23 > 0:37:26Tokay, of course, is unique among wines

0:37:26 > 0:37:31in that the aroma is of more significance than the flavour.

0:37:31 > 0:37:32For us humans, alas,

0:37:32 > 0:37:37that is the pursuit of the ineffable by the inadequate.

0:37:37 > 0:37:38SNIFFS

0:37:38 > 0:37:41At such moments, one could wish to possess

0:37:41 > 0:37:45the olfactory powers of the canine.

0:37:45 > 0:37:48SNIFFS REPEATEDLY

0:37:50 > 0:37:54It's often occurred to me that to pull a dog away from a lamppost

0:37:54 > 0:37:58is akin to seizing a scholar in the British Museum

0:37:58 > 0:38:02by the scruff of his neck and dragging him from his studies!

0:38:05 > 0:38:07Yes...

0:38:12 > 0:38:15DOGS BARK OUTSIDE

0:38:15 > 0:38:17HORN HONKS

0:38:19 > 0:38:22What are you doing? >

0:38:22 > 0:38:26One of those damned motor machines!

0:38:26 > 0:38:30Dreadful things, don't you think?

0:38:30 > 0:38:34It must be clear to anyone of perception that the internal,

0:38:34 > 0:38:37one might even say infernal, combustion engine

0:38:37 > 0:38:42will prove to be a complete... catastrophe for the species.

0:38:42 > 0:38:44Quite so.

0:38:44 > 0:38:48And have you noticed that motor cars are exactly the right height

0:38:48 > 0:38:51for THEM to take refuge under?

0:38:51 > 0:38:53Cats.

0:38:53 > 0:38:58The way they get under motor cars and can't be got at.

0:38:58 > 0:39:01Unless, of course, you're a very small dog.

0:39:02 > 0:39:04I see what you mean.

0:39:04 > 0:39:09The trouble with cats is they have no idea of the rules.

0:39:09 > 0:39:13One chases them, invariably they hide or run up trees.

0:39:13 > 0:39:17Or perform that preposterous inflation they're so fond of,

0:39:17 > 0:39:19raising their hair on end!

0:39:20 > 0:39:24Well, I was never fooled by that ruse.

0:39:24 > 0:39:27- No?- Well, perhaps once or twice when I was very young.

0:39:27 > 0:39:33But once I discovered what devious and subversive creatures they are...

0:39:33 > 0:39:36So you are inclined to agree with the swami about them.

0:39:36 > 0:39:40About cats and how they diminish man's estimation of himself.

0:39:40 > 0:39:43Oh, indeed.

0:39:44 > 0:39:46They have no awe of the masters.

0:39:46 > 0:39:48The masters?

0:39:48 > 0:39:53Yes. How one loved to be in their company.

0:39:53 > 0:39:57How one wanted to please them, if only by obedience.

0:39:58 > 0:40:01Let me give you a piece of advice.

0:40:01 > 0:40:05When a door is opened, always take the opportunity to leave the room.

0:40:05 > 0:40:09There is nothing more annoying to the master than a dog whining

0:40:09 > 0:40:12t-to...to get...

0:40:20 > 0:40:22Tokay?

0:40:22 > 0:40:25No. No, thank you.

0:40:26 > 0:40:29Two glasses are my limit.

0:40:29 > 0:40:31One must know one's limit.

0:40:31 > 0:40:35Otherwise there's no knowing where things will end up.

0:40:35 > 0:40:37SNOOKER BALLS THUD

0:40:38 > 0:40:43'I had no idea of the true nature of what had occurred with the dean.

0:40:43 > 0:40:47'It may have been madness, but I found it intriguing.

0:40:47 > 0:40:51'So intriguing...that I finished the rest of the bottle.'

0:40:51 > 0:40:54"..pulling a scholar out of the British Museum

0:40:54 > 0:40:56"by the scruff of his neck."

0:40:58 > 0:41:01It was as if his mind had slipped a cog.

0:41:01 > 0:41:03Went barking mad, you mean?

0:41:03 > 0:41:06No, he was completely rational!

0:41:08 > 0:41:12If you can call remembering you were a dog...

0:41:12 > 0:41:13..rational.

0:41:13 > 0:41:17- How much of the Tokay had he had? - Two glasses. Two!

0:41:17 > 0:41:20Sure it wasn't you that was snockered?

0:41:20 > 0:41:22So what do you think?

0:41:22 > 0:41:27That getting deans tiddly so that they pretend to remember being a dog

0:41:27 > 0:41:32is as harmless a way of spending an evening as any other.

0:41:32 > 0:41:35He was not tiddly, as you put it. He was...

0:41:35 > 0:41:38Well, it was more like an altered state of mind.

0:41:38 > 0:41:43- Being tiddly isn't an altered state of mind?- No, it was the Tokay!

0:41:43 > 0:41:46Even when he inhaled it,

0:41:46 > 0:41:49he was...transported

0:41:49 > 0:41:52to this... other place!

0:41:52 > 0:41:56And you'd like to get him back to this other place?

0:41:56 > 0:42:00Can you get me another bottle?

0:42:02 > 0:42:05Can you?

0:42:05 > 0:42:09I don't doubt that, for a price, one could come to hand.

0:42:09 > 0:42:11Can you get one for next Thursday?

0:42:11 > 0:42:13Have another shot.

0:42:24 > 0:42:26SNIFFS

0:42:28 > 0:42:30Your Tokay, Dean.

0:42:30 > 0:42:32Ahh.

0:42:32 > 0:42:36What lambency of hue, what colour.

0:42:36 > 0:42:42It reminds me...of the light when the master came home.

0:42:42 > 0:42:44- Hup! Never to the brim. - Of course.

0:42:44 > 0:42:49- One must leave room for the aroma. - Yes, yes. The aroma.

0:42:49 > 0:42:51SNIFFS

0:42:51 > 0:42:55Now, you were saying about the master.

0:42:55 > 0:42:57Oh, yes. the master.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59He would go away for very long times.

0:42:59 > 0:43:03Other people were kind, but it was not the same.

0:43:03 > 0:43:07- And what did you do?- I'd wait for him until I knew he was coming home.

0:43:07 > 0:43:10- You knew when he was returning? - Oh, yes.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12How, might I ask?

0:43:12 > 0:43:17Well, before he was not coming back and then he was!

0:43:17 > 0:43:19- That was the difference, plain and simple.- I see.

0:43:19 > 0:43:22Yes, seeing is part of it, it's true.

0:43:22 > 0:43:24The proximity of the master does affect the light.

0:43:24 > 0:43:26The light grows brighter?

0:43:26 > 0:43:28No, not brighter. Louder.

0:43:28 > 0:43:30The light grows louder?

0:43:30 > 0:43:33Well, certainly there was more of it.

0:43:33 > 0:43:37I remember waiting one day when he was due to come back.

0:43:37 > 0:43:40The light that day got brighter and brighter

0:43:40 > 0:43:42until one was quite dazzled.

0:43:42 > 0:43:45I only know when he did finally come back, I was so excited,

0:43:45 > 0:43:48I had several brandies to calm myself.

0:43:51 > 0:43:54Dean, dogs...

0:43:54 > 0:43:56do not drink brandy.

0:43:58 > 0:43:59No more they do.

0:43:59 > 0:44:04I would achieve the same effect by running in tight little circles.

0:44:04 > 0:44:08Drives the blood to the head in a most exhilarating fashion.

0:44:15 > 0:44:19And then I'd sit down, have a good scratch.

0:44:21 > 0:44:23Were you much bothered by fleas?

0:44:23 > 0:44:27- When I say bothered, I don't mean... - Nothing wrong with a few fleas.

0:44:27 > 0:44:29They serve admirably to get one's grooming going.

0:44:31 > 0:44:33Ah, yes...

0:44:35 > 0:44:38Indeed, I doubt if one can be a dog

0:44:38 > 0:44:41and not have fleas.

0:44:47 > 0:44:50So, these evenings have become a regular feature, then?

0:44:50 > 0:44:53Well, yes. The dean has a wealth of knowledge

0:44:53 > 0:44:56- which I find quite fascinating.- Oh.

0:44:56 > 0:44:59- Lawrence! Come here! - No!- Lawrence Swan, come back here!

0:44:59 > 0:45:02- But only on a Thursday. - Come back here at once!

0:45:02 > 0:45:05- BOY SCREAMS - Lawrence!

0:45:05 > 0:45:06That man tripped me up!

0:45:06 > 0:45:11- Don't be ridiculous. He's given to imaginings.- Uh-huh.

0:45:11 > 0:45:16- Pick yourself up. I told you before about running away from me.- Oww!

0:45:16 > 0:45:20- If I call to you...- What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?

0:45:20 > 0:45:23No business running off like that when he was being summoned.

0:45:23 > 0:45:26You talk as if you were never yourself a child.

0:45:26 > 0:45:30Indeed I was, and damned glad when it was over.

0:45:30 > 0:45:34Too much is made of childhood. Golden days of fun and innocence?

0:45:34 > 0:45:38Poppycock. The most miserable I've been was as a child.

0:45:38 > 0:45:42You tripped him up to teach him that childhood isn't a happy time?!

0:45:46 > 0:45:49Do not presume to judge me, young Fisk.

0:45:49 > 0:45:53I should first have to understand you! And that, I confess, I do not!

0:45:53 > 0:45:57Perhaps you would have to become a father first.

0:45:57 > 0:46:02Your example disinclines me to that particular comprehension, I'm afraid.

0:46:04 > 0:46:07- Push on! - CHOIR SINGS

0:46:08 > 0:46:10Push on!

0:46:16 > 0:46:18WHEELS SQUEAK

0:46:23 > 0:46:27You don't think the dean is having you on, do you?

0:46:27 > 0:46:30- What do you mean, having me on?- He's spotted you for the gullible sort

0:46:30 > 0:46:34and a good source for his favourite drink?

0:46:34 > 0:46:38Why assume that pretending to have been a dog would not cause disbelief

0:46:38 > 0:46:41rather than repeated invitations to dinner?

0:46:41 > 0:46:44He saw you listening to the swami about reincarnation and dogs

0:46:44 > 0:46:46and all that nonsense,

0:46:46 > 0:46:49and he decided that you believed in all that stuff.

0:46:51 > 0:46:55I can't accept that. It would be most unlike someone of his gravitas.

0:46:55 > 0:46:58Gravitas? Telling you about running round in circles

0:46:58 > 0:47:02- to create the effect of whisky? - Brandy, actually.

0:47:02 > 0:47:05Fleas are a good source of grooming? You could call that gravitas.

0:47:05 > 0:47:08He doesn't know when he's saying these things and when he isn't.

0:47:08 > 0:47:13- I'd have to be there to see it for myself.- Your Moroccan is here. >

0:47:13 > 0:47:15Excuse me. A delivery.

0:47:17 > 0:47:19Go easy on him, my darling.

0:47:19 > 0:47:21Be careful, he's a monkey.

0:47:24 > 0:47:27- Abdul, how are you? How much do I owe our man?- You owe him nothing.

0:47:27 > 0:47:31- You tell him he owes me a gin. - With pleasure, Mr Wrather!- Good day.

0:47:31 > 0:47:33DOOR BANGS

0:47:34 > 0:47:37Very nice article, this.

0:47:37 > 0:47:40Fell off the back of an elephant. Interested?

0:47:40 > 0:47:43- Don't have an elephant.- Just say the word and I'll get you one.

0:47:46 > 0:47:49- Look, about this Tokay... - Yeah, right. Tokay...

0:47:52 > 0:47:57How about if I do round one up, you let me sit in on the next seance?

0:47:57 > 0:47:59It's not a seance!

0:47:59 > 0:48:03It's more like the parting of the veil between...

0:48:03 > 0:48:08- well, between one life and another. - All right. The parting of the veil.

0:48:08 > 0:48:09But I wanna be there.

0:48:10 > 0:48:15All right. But you must promise - truly and genuinely promise me -

0:48:15 > 0:48:19- you will allow ME to do the questioning.- Cross my heart and hope to die.

0:48:19 > 0:48:22- Swear on something you hold sacred!- 50 guineas.- What do you mean?

0:48:22 > 0:48:24I give you 50 guineas to hold

0:48:24 > 0:48:28and if I don't meet your standard of decorum, I forfeit it.

0:48:28 > 0:48:31Am I to understand that there is nothing you hold sacred?

0:48:31 > 0:48:34I feel quite religious about 50 guineas, I assure you.

0:48:36 > 0:48:39I can only imagine that I was not in my right mind

0:48:39 > 0:48:42to have spoken to you in such a fashion,

0:48:42 > 0:48:44and it grieves me to think that I may have...

0:48:44 > 0:48:46offended you by my lack of respect.

0:48:46 > 0:48:52I am stricken to think I have given you cause to think me ungrateful.

0:48:52 > 0:48:57Don't grovel, laddie! You remind me of Wag when he'd been naughty!

0:48:57 > 0:49:02What a whining and squirming he went in for!

0:49:02 > 0:49:04Yes. Wag, eh?

0:49:04 > 0:49:07One of the seven great dogs.

0:49:07 > 0:49:11At any one time, you know, there are only seven.

0:49:13 > 0:49:14What kind of dog was he?

0:49:14 > 0:49:17A Welsh spaniel.

0:49:17 > 0:49:19In his prime.

0:49:20 > 0:49:22What happened to him?

0:49:22 > 0:49:25He went away one day and never came back.

0:49:29 > 0:49:31- Had he ever done that before? - Never.

0:49:31 > 0:49:35I blame the bad company he fell in with.

0:49:35 > 0:49:41This dog that used to come around, ugly brute, a mongrel, big scrawny thing, it was.

0:49:41 > 0:49:45Wag chased him off at first, but he came back and Wag took off with him,

0:49:45 > 0:49:48just before I had to return to school.

0:49:48 > 0:49:52I wanted to stay home till Wag came back, but they wouldn't allow it.

0:49:52 > 0:49:55I told them if I wasn't there,

0:49:55 > 0:49:59then Wag might not know where to come to.

0:49:59 > 0:50:02Must have been very difficult for you.

0:50:02 > 0:50:03It wasn't difficult.

0:50:06 > 0:50:08It was unbearable.

0:50:09 > 0:50:12'I had heard this story before.'

0:50:12 > 0:50:16'But now it was as if I was hearing it for the first time.'

0:50:16 > 0:50:19'As dubious as any connection might have seemed,

0:50:19 > 0:50:23'my father's revelation inspired greater significance

0:50:23 > 0:50:25'to my next encounter with the dean.'

0:50:32 > 0:50:35Who's this likely-looking lad?

0:50:35 > 0:50:37That's my brother Harrington.

0:50:37 > 0:50:39He was killed fighting the Boers.

0:50:40 > 0:50:43Broke my mother's heart.

0:50:43 > 0:50:44And your father, how'd he take it?

0:50:44 > 0:50:48"If something goes to the trouble of happening,

0:50:48 > 0:50:53"it may be considered inevitable," was his comment, I believe.

0:50:53 > 0:50:56That's your stiff upper English for ya.

0:50:56 > 0:51:00There's a few shillings left in this. Cobwebs are worth a guinea.

0:51:00 > 0:51:02No, please! Not the last inch.

0:51:02 > 0:51:06The dean is most particular. KNOCK AT DOOR

0:51:06 > 0:51:09- Fussy old hound. What kind of dog did he say he was?- He didn't.

0:51:09 > 0:51:11I must insist you don't ask him such a question.

0:51:11 > 0:51:14I'd have thought that'd be the first question.

0:51:14 > 0:51:17- Please just give me your word. - As you like.

0:51:17 > 0:51:20But there's no doubt I'll know as soon as he gets started.

0:51:23 > 0:51:26- Henslowe.- Good evening, Dean. How are you?- Very well.

0:51:26 > 0:51:30I fancy I would have been a pointer, an Afghan...

0:51:30 > 0:51:32This is my friend, Mr Wrather.

0:51:32 > 0:51:34Oh.

0:51:35 > 0:51:39Mr Wrather is the agent by which we manage to procure the Tokay.

0:51:39 > 0:51:40Mm.

0:51:40 > 0:51:42Good evening...

0:51:42 > 0:51:44Dean.

0:51:44 > 0:51:46Yes.

0:51:46 > 0:51:49SNIFFS

0:51:51 > 0:51:54Tonight's vintage is... a special one.

0:51:54 > 0:51:59Kleinfeld-Hasslerbeck '82.

0:51:59 > 0:52:01One of the great years.

0:52:01 > 0:52:06I've not had the good fortune to taste that particular vintage.

0:52:06 > 0:52:09Well, every dog has his day, as they say.

0:52:14 > 0:52:16Well, what a privilege.

0:52:16 > 0:52:18Dean.

0:52:18 > 0:52:20Of course, the Empire must be maintained,

0:52:20 > 0:52:26but history shows us only too clearly the dangers of overreach.

0:52:26 > 0:52:31I myself considered the Indian Mutiny, so-called,

0:52:31 > 0:52:35a warning that perhaps our presence on the subcontinent

0:52:35 > 0:52:38was not the universal benevolence that we believed.

0:52:45 > 0:52:47A glass of Tokay, Dean?

0:52:47 > 0:52:49That would be most agreeable.

0:52:52 > 0:52:53So, Dean,

0:52:53 > 0:52:57do you think it's true that you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

0:52:57 > 0:53:00- What Mr Wrather means is...- Will we ever give India back to the Indians?

0:53:00 > 0:53:04Not in my lifetime, I would venture. We've become too dependent on it.

0:53:04 > 0:53:08Not just economically, although we derive inordinate treasure

0:53:08 > 0:53:11from, erm, its exploitation.

0:53:11 > 0:53:13We have become habituated...

0:53:13 > 0:53:16- SNIFFS - ..to the role of master...

0:53:17 > 0:53:20..and dog... Servant!

0:53:23 > 0:53:25- Ohh... - SNIFFS DEEPLY

0:53:25 > 0:53:29How elegant.

0:53:29 > 0:53:32- My, my, my, my, my, my. - Is it all you'd hoped for, Dean?

0:53:36 > 0:53:38HE WHIMPERS

0:53:40 > 0:53:43Oh.

0:53:43 > 0:53:46Beyond hope, beyond imagining.

0:53:46 > 0:53:50The actuality exceeds anticipation.

0:53:50 > 0:53:53I am in your debt, sir!

0:53:55 > 0:53:57And yours, Mr Wrather.

0:54:00 > 0:54:03You were saying about... our relationship with the Indians,

0:54:03 > 0:54:07between the master and the servant?

0:54:07 > 0:54:11Not just servant, but loving servant.

0:54:11 > 0:54:15It's most important to the English that we are loved by those we rule.

0:54:15 > 0:54:18With a dog-like devotion, would you say?

0:54:18 > 0:54:22What is it, er, that's...

0:54:22 > 0:54:24so important about the master?

0:54:27 > 0:54:29Yes, the master.

0:54:30 > 0:54:35The thing is, whenever he returned from wherever he'd been,

0:54:35 > 0:54:37no matter how long I'd been waiting,

0:54:37 > 0:54:41the actuality always exceeded the anticipation.

0:54:41 > 0:54:44Causing you to run about in circles.

0:54:46 > 0:54:49But, you know, for all his great wisdom,

0:54:49 > 0:54:52there were certain things the master never understood.

0:54:52 > 0:54:55- Such as?- The moon.

0:54:55 > 0:55:00And ticks. The master always wanted to remove mine,

0:55:00 > 0:55:03but my own motto was "live and let live".

0:55:03 > 0:55:06I hate ticks.

0:55:08 > 0:55:09And the moon?

0:55:11 > 0:55:13Yes, the moon...

0:55:13 > 0:55:17The master wasn't nearly suspicious enough of the moon.

0:55:20 > 0:55:24I never trusted it. Never the same two nights in a row.

0:55:24 > 0:55:25BARKING

0:55:25 > 0:55:28Couldn't hear it. Couldn't smell it.

0:55:28 > 0:55:32Well, you can take your own line on that, and others do.

0:55:34 > 0:55:37I had a friend who never worried about the moon, but then...

0:55:37 > 0:55:40he didn't have a house to guard.

0:55:40 > 0:55:44The moon had a way of looking at a house, implying it wasn't guarded.

0:55:44 > 0:55:47Well, my house was guarded properly, thank you very much,

0:55:47 > 0:55:51and I told it so every time it came around in no uncertain terms!

0:55:51 > 0:55:53BARKING

0:56:00 > 0:56:02Were you very big?

0:56:02 > 0:56:05Oh, yes.

0:56:05 > 0:56:07How big?

0:56:07 > 0:56:09When I barked,

0:56:09 > 0:56:11I was enormous.

0:56:13 > 0:56:14So...

0:56:14 > 0:56:18why do you think it wasn't frightened?

0:56:18 > 0:56:22Well, frightened things smell frightened.

0:56:22 > 0:56:25I've smelled many frightened things.

0:56:25 > 0:56:27Cats, elderly ladies, children, rabbits.

0:56:27 > 0:56:33They all smell of being frightened. It's a wonderful smell.

0:56:33 > 0:56:35You mean...

0:56:35 > 0:56:39old ladies smell the same as rabbits when they're frightened?

0:56:39 > 0:56:44No, their fear smells the same. Otherwise there's no confusing them.

0:56:45 > 0:56:50Yes, this, erm, this business of smell is very interesting, isn't it?

0:56:50 > 0:56:53Interesting.

0:56:53 > 0:56:56If there's one thing I could find fault with the master,

0:56:56 > 0:56:58it would be on that issue.

0:56:58 > 0:57:03I've known occasions when I was studying a message left by a friend

0:57:03 > 0:57:05and he'd drag me away by the collar

0:57:05 > 0:57:07in the middle of a fascinating passage.

0:57:07 > 0:57:12Rather like dragging a scholar away from a text at the British Museum.

0:57:12 > 0:57:14That is a rather untoward analogy.

0:57:14 > 0:57:18No, most apposite.

0:57:18 > 0:57:21I believe I have thought exactly the same thing.

0:57:24 > 0:57:26What sort of a dog were you, anyway?

0:57:28 > 0:57:30I beg your pardon?

0:57:30 > 0:57:33I mean in your day. You know, before you took...

0:57:33 > 0:57:36holy orders.

0:57:37 > 0:57:41I recall no such activity, sir!

0:57:59 > 0:58:01Quite a session. Damn good value!

0:58:01 > 0:58:05Listen, I've been thinking. This is getting out of hand.

0:58:05 > 0:58:08The man is clearly suffering from delusions.

0:58:08 > 0:58:10And as for the Tokay... Huh!

0:58:10 > 0:58:13I sincerely hope I never develop a taste for it.

0:58:13 > 0:58:16It's hard to find and devilishly expensive.

0:58:16 > 0:58:20Ten guineas to hear a dean say he believed he was once a dog!

0:58:20 > 0:58:23- I must be mad.- Good as gold.

0:58:23 > 0:58:26- < Shh!- I don't want your money.

0:58:26 > 0:58:28This has gone too far.

0:58:28 > 0:58:33- But you can't stop now, young Fisk. - Well, I see no point in continuing.

0:58:33 > 0:58:36The man believes what he believes. That's that.

0:58:44 > 0:58:48You're not one of these blokes who gives up before he can lose, are ya?

0:58:48 > 0:58:49Are ya?

0:58:54 > 0:58:58What if I was to procure a bottle of the elixir for free?

0:58:58 > 0:59:01For free?

0:59:08 > 0:59:13This bloke owes me. More than one favour, too, I'll tell you that!

0:59:13 > 0:59:19And if anyone's got a bottle or two, His Nawabship will.

0:59:22 > 0:59:24Tokay, you say? An Imperial?

0:59:24 > 0:59:28- We're finding it hard to come by. - I should jolly well think so!

0:59:28 > 0:59:31Rather extravagant being so keen on it, I'd say.

0:59:31 > 0:59:35- You must be a connoisseur.- It's not for him. It's for Dean Spanley.

0:59:35 > 0:59:39For Spanley? Old Wag Spanley likes Tokay?

0:59:39 > 0:59:43Very partial to a drop, the dean.

0:59:43 > 0:59:48Excuse me. Did you just call Dean Spanley "Wag"?

0:59:48 > 0:59:51Walter Arthur Graham. Wag Spanley.

0:59:51 > 0:59:53Before my time, but my father knew him at Oxford.

0:59:53 > 0:59:58But tell me, why are you so intent on plying him with Tokay?

0:59:58 > 1:00:01Well, it has to do with, er...

1:00:01 > 1:00:04one of the major tenets of your religion.

1:00:04 > 1:00:07Bat and pad together when playing forward?

1:00:07 > 1:00:09Reincarnation, actually.

1:00:09 > 1:00:11Don't go in for it myself.

1:00:11 > 1:00:15I mean, er, I'm not gonna do much better next time round, am I?

1:00:15 > 1:00:17This innings will do me nicely.

1:00:17 > 1:00:21Reincarnation is for the masses - something to look forward to.

1:00:21 > 1:00:25About the Tokay, look in the cellar. Galsworthy will show you.

1:00:25 > 1:00:29Wouldn't be surprised if you found the odd case of Tokay.

1:00:29 > 1:00:31Don't like it myself.

1:00:31 > 1:00:35Last time I drank it... I dreamt I was a monkey.

1:00:35 > 1:00:37ENGINE CHUGS

1:00:37 > 1:00:40Thought the bugger might have a dozen or two hanging around!

1:00:40 > 1:00:44More than enough there to get the old boy back to when he was a pup.

1:00:44 > 1:00:48My father used to have a dog when he was a child. Name of Wag!

1:00:48 > 1:00:50You know, I've been thinking.

1:00:50 > 1:00:53Lady I know, in the thespian way,

1:00:53 > 1:00:55thought we might give her a bottle of the Imperial.

1:00:55 > 1:00:59Lovely girl. Lot of fun when she's tight.

1:00:59 > 1:01:01BOTTLES RATTLE

1:01:01 > 1:01:05For that to be significant, you'd have to suppose two things,

1:01:05 > 1:01:07neither of which are improbable.

1:01:07 > 1:01:10One, that the dean's mum and dad

1:01:10 > 1:01:13knew that he'd previously been your father's pooch,

1:01:13 > 1:01:15and two, to commemorate the event,

1:01:15 > 1:01:19decided to incorporate his doggy name into his Christian name.

1:01:19 > 1:01:23It looks like a boat but it doesn't float, as my Aunt Molly used to say.

1:01:23 > 1:01:26And why would I want to have dinner with a dean,

1:01:26 > 1:01:30let alone one who believes in reincarnation?

1:01:30 > 1:01:34You always complain that I neglect you on my evenings with Spanley.

1:01:34 > 1:01:37I thought you'd like to come with us.

1:01:37 > 1:01:40Wrather will be there. You remember him.

1:01:40 > 1:01:42The conveyancer.

1:01:42 > 1:01:45From the lecture.

1:01:46 > 1:01:47Can't say as I do.

1:01:47 > 1:01:50It must be here, this gathering.

1:01:50 > 1:01:54Certainly not at that rickety place of yours.

1:01:54 > 1:01:57- Can Mrs Brimley cook for four? - She can make more of her hotpot.

1:01:57 > 1:02:01Father, we are having a Shevenitz-Donetschau '79!

1:02:01 > 1:02:04And I do not think the hotpot,

1:02:04 > 1:02:07sustaining though it may be, is quite the precursor for a '79 Tokay!

1:02:07 > 1:02:10Damn fuss over fermented grapes!

1:02:10 > 1:02:13What is this all to do with?

1:02:13 > 1:02:16The dean, the Tokay, this dinner?

1:02:16 > 1:02:19If I were to tell you, Father, you would not believe me.

1:02:19 > 1:02:25In that case, don't tell me. I don't believe in enough things already.

1:02:25 > 1:02:29Well, it won't be the hotpot, that's all I can say. Ha!

1:02:29 > 1:02:31I'm not serving hotpot to a dean.

1:02:31 > 1:02:34I could do the navarin.

1:02:34 > 1:02:36With the sorrel and cucumber soup to start.

1:02:36 > 1:02:39Or maybe leek and potato...

1:02:39 > 1:02:41What your father calls the Vicious Swiss soup.

1:02:41 > 1:02:45Either would be most welcome.

1:02:47 > 1:02:51Mrs Brimley, do you remember my father's dog, Wag?

1:02:51 > 1:02:54And for dessert...profiteroles.

1:02:54 > 1:02:56I think it was a spaniel.

1:02:56 > 1:03:00My choux pastry is too good to be eaten, if I say so myself!

1:03:02 > 1:03:04Wag?

1:03:04 > 1:03:06No, not really.

1:03:06 > 1:03:09I remember it run off, though. What a to-do that was.

1:03:09 > 1:03:13Like a death in the family. Upset him ever so.

1:03:13 > 1:03:16"Why didn't he get another?" I asked him once. Know what he said?

1:03:17 > 1:03:20That Wag was one of the seven great dogs?

1:03:20 > 1:03:22Oh. I see he talked to you about it.

1:03:22 > 1:03:25Mm-hm!

1:03:25 > 1:03:29Maybe profiteroles would be too heavy

1:03:29 > 1:03:31after the lamb.

1:03:33 > 1:03:35Raspberry and gooseberry fool!

1:03:38 > 1:03:42Whatever you decide, Mrs Brimley, I'm sure will be splendid.

1:03:42 > 1:03:44CHORAL MUSIC

1:03:45 > 1:03:48- A '79?- Yes, indeed.

1:03:48 > 1:03:52Really, my dear Henslowe, you are a man of remarkable resource!

1:03:52 > 1:03:55Oh, it's not I who provided this trove, sir.

1:03:55 > 1:03:56My father,

1:03:56 > 1:03:59- whom I believe you have met before. - Yes, I believe I do recall.

1:03:59 > 1:04:05I was hoping that he might join us for our next evening together.

1:04:05 > 1:04:08I see.

1:04:08 > 1:04:12- And your friend.- Wrather. Mr Wrather.- Wrather, yes.

1:04:12 > 1:04:17I have the strangest feeling, you know, after our last encounter,

1:04:17 > 1:04:19that I know Mr Wrather.

1:04:19 > 1:04:21Perhaps from a previous life.

1:04:23 > 1:04:27- I was not always a dean, you know. - No?- No.

1:04:27 > 1:04:30I was in accountancy at one time.

1:04:30 > 1:04:32A dismal business.

1:04:32 > 1:04:35At least in the regions where I toiled.

1:04:35 > 1:04:37And you feel like you met Mr Wrather then?

1:04:37 > 1:04:41Yes, it's possible. Or perhaps it's his being a colonial.

1:04:43 > 1:04:46One often feels one has met them before.

1:04:49 > 1:04:54So, can I hope for your company this Thursday?

1:04:55 > 1:05:01I do feel only your palate can fully appreciate a '79.

1:05:01 > 1:05:03A '79...

1:05:03 > 1:05:06What splendours. A bottle of the '79.

1:05:06 > 1:05:08Three bottles.

1:05:09 > 1:05:13RAGTIME MUSIC

1:05:13 > 1:05:15Might be best to let sleeping dogs lie, know what I mean?

1:05:15 > 1:05:18Yes, I know what you mean.

1:05:18 > 1:05:21What if he recognises your father, starts licking his hands?

1:05:21 > 1:05:23That could be damned embarrassing.

1:05:25 > 1:05:27Pygmy judge, old man...

1:05:27 > 1:05:30Pygmy judge.

1:05:31 > 1:05:34So there we were, on our holidays

1:05:34 > 1:05:38in this cottage on the shore of Windermere.

1:05:38 > 1:05:40Wonderful spot to get some reading done,

1:05:40 > 1:05:44and I was availing myself of the tranquillity to do just that.

1:05:44 > 1:05:47This fellow here, young Fisk, and his brother,

1:05:47 > 1:05:50were out on the lake in a rowboat.

1:05:50 > 1:05:55Storm came up. One minute it's all, "I wandered lonely as a cloud,"

1:05:55 > 1:06:00the next it's blowing hell's bells and howling like a banshee.

1:06:00 > 1:06:05Mrs Fisk, she comes in, wringing her hands.

1:06:05 > 1:06:10"Our boys," she cries at me. "They're out on the lake."

1:06:11 > 1:06:15You have no idea how taxing it is

1:06:15 > 1:06:19to be dragged out of a book in which you are thoroughly engaged.

1:06:19 > 1:06:23"You must do something, Horatio!" she said to me.

1:06:23 > 1:06:27"Our boys are in great danger."

1:06:27 > 1:06:30"Do something!" she implored me.

1:06:30 > 1:06:33So I got up,

1:06:33 > 1:06:37laying aside Balzac with the greatest reluctance,

1:06:37 > 1:06:41and went to the window, opened the shutters.

1:06:41 > 1:06:44Whitecaps as far as the eye could see.

1:06:44 > 1:06:47I stared out into the maelstrom

1:06:47 > 1:06:52and I raised my hands and called out in my most stentorian tone...

1:06:55 > 1:06:58.."Give up your dead!"

1:06:58 > 1:07:01Which was a great comfort, as you can imagine, to my mother.

1:07:01 > 1:07:05When one is helpless, I see no point in pretending otherwise!

1:07:05 > 1:07:09How terrible that must have been for your mother.

1:07:09 > 1:07:11And you too, sir.

1:07:11 > 1:07:14When something has gone to the trouble of happening,

1:07:14 > 1:07:17it is best to consider it inevitable, in my opinion.

1:07:17 > 1:07:20Learned that lesson the hard way, I did.

1:07:20 > 1:07:22Well, let us, erm...

1:07:24 > 1:07:26Let us drink to the inevitable...

1:07:26 > 1:07:28before it happens.

1:07:31 > 1:07:32SNIFFS

1:07:34 > 1:07:37Not a bad drop. I'm beginning to get a hang of this stuff.

1:07:37 > 1:07:39RINGS BELL INSISTENTLY

1:07:39 > 1:07:42Too much like toilet water for my taste.

1:07:42 > 1:07:45Clear away the rest, Mrs Brimley!

1:07:45 > 1:07:48She makes a very good hotpot, I should tell you.

1:07:49 > 1:07:52Well, let's take this in the drawing room.

1:07:52 > 1:07:54If you wouldn't mind, sir,

1:07:54 > 1:07:58I should prefer to remain here to enjoy my Tokay.

1:07:58 > 1:08:00Oh? And why is that?

1:08:02 > 1:08:03I cannot really say. I...

1:08:03 > 1:08:07Sometimes you get comfortable where you are.

1:08:07 > 1:08:09You don't want to disturb yourself.

1:08:09 > 1:08:12Poppycock! Port should be taken in the drawing room.

1:08:12 > 1:08:16Let the ladies get on with whatever it is they get on with.

1:08:16 > 1:08:17MRS BRIMLEY: I'm no lady!

1:08:17 > 1:08:20It's rather like being bathed when one has just...

1:08:20 > 1:08:22gotten comfortable in one's smell.

1:08:22 > 1:08:25- What is the fellow on about?- Shh!

1:08:25 > 1:08:29There was a patch of ground behind the shed where the earth was moist

1:08:29 > 1:08:32and I loved to roll there to get...

1:08:32 > 1:08:35that particular aura around me.

1:08:36 > 1:08:39It brought out the natural secretions,

1:08:39 > 1:08:44so one could feel there was a glow around oneself, like a halo.

1:08:46 > 1:08:50And it was then, when one felt so complete,

1:08:50 > 1:08:51that the master would call me.

1:08:55 > 1:08:59Who, in God's name, called you what?

1:08:59 > 1:09:02The master.

1:09:02 > 1:09:05He called me Wag.

1:09:05 > 1:09:08For reasons I never understood. Wag...

1:09:08 > 1:09:12But that was the greatness of the master,

1:09:12 > 1:09:16he could make that one sound convey so many meanings.

1:09:16 > 1:09:19There was a "Wag" which meant "a walk".

1:09:19 > 1:09:23There was a "Wag" which meant "Go away from the table".

1:09:23 > 1:09:28And there was a "Waaag" which meant, "You are to be bathed".

1:09:28 > 1:09:30And of all the "Wags",

1:09:30 > 1:09:33- that "Wag" was the most terrible. - Why was that?

1:09:33 > 1:09:36Because, for all his great wisdom, he never understood

1:09:36 > 1:09:39how embarrassing it is to meet another dog

1:09:39 > 1:09:42when one isn't wearing one's own smell.

1:09:42 > 1:09:44They did not know who you were,

1:09:44 > 1:09:47so you had to go through all that business of circling and sniffing

1:09:47 > 1:09:49and growling and...

1:09:51 > 1:09:55I was always being embarrassed with a particular friend of mine.

1:09:55 > 1:09:58So, what did you do? Did you have to fight him?

1:09:58 > 1:10:02Oh, we fought a few times, just to get acquainted. That I enjoyed.

1:10:02 > 1:10:05My favourite grip was the ear.

1:10:05 > 1:10:09You always hear how going for the throat is the best approach,

1:10:09 > 1:10:13but in my experience it's almost impossible to get a throat grip,

1:10:13 > 1:10:16so I would always go for the ear.

1:10:16 > 1:10:21But it does give the opportunity for excellent complaint.

1:10:21 > 1:10:24My friend had a very good complaint, which I memorised

1:10:24 > 1:10:29- and used if I had to take a beating from the master.- He beat you?

1:10:29 > 1:10:33- Only...- On certain occasions, it was called for.

1:10:33 > 1:10:37Then I would use this splendid complaint, learned from my friend.

1:10:37 > 1:10:40So what was his name, this friend of yours?

1:10:40 > 1:10:45His name? I don't think I knew the name his master called him.

1:10:45 > 1:10:49Indeed, I'm not entirely sure he had a master.

1:10:49 > 1:10:52But his complaint was most satisfying.

1:10:54 > 1:10:58"Oh, rescue me. I'm a poor, unfortunate creature,

1:10:58 > 1:11:02"far from home and without a friend. Help me, help me.

1:11:02 > 1:11:07"I have fallen into terrible straits and am about to be murdered."

1:11:07 > 1:11:09Which, of course, was not the case.

1:11:09 > 1:11:14This dog, the one without a master, w-what sort of dog was he?

1:11:14 > 1:11:16Oh, the best of fellows.

1:11:16 > 1:11:21Adventurous and carefree, fearless and bold.

1:11:21 > 1:11:25But you said he was whining and snivelling about being murdered.

1:11:25 > 1:11:28Oh, that was just his complaint.

1:11:28 > 1:11:31How'd you meet him, this friend?

1:11:31 > 1:11:36He would leave messages... on the cart that brought the milk.

1:11:36 > 1:11:38BIRDS TWEET

1:11:38 > 1:11:42HORSE NEIGHS

1:12:00 > 1:12:02'And I would reply.'

1:12:02 > 1:12:06'And then one day, he came to our door. Well...'

1:12:06 > 1:12:09I told him to go away or I would chase him,

1:12:09 > 1:12:13and I barked my most enormous bark and made myself very huge!

1:12:13 > 1:12:16But he wasn't afraid and said so.

1:12:17 > 1:12:22You weren't, erm, how will I put it, a female by any chance, were you?

1:12:22 > 1:12:24- Of course he wasn't. - Not at all.

1:12:24 > 1:12:27We were just good friends.

1:12:29 > 1:12:32He'd led a very interesting life

1:12:32 > 1:12:36and knew many things, which he told me about in considerable detail.

1:12:36 > 1:12:41- How did he tell you? - In the messages that he left me.

1:12:41 > 1:12:45I would leave word of my doings, which were not comparable to his,

1:12:45 > 1:12:49because all I'd ever done was go for evening walks with the master.

1:12:49 > 1:12:53And while they were enjoyable outings,

1:12:53 > 1:12:57they were but moon-cast shadows compared to his adventures.

1:12:57 > 1:13:01- Did you ever go on an adventure with him?- Indeed.

1:13:01 > 1:13:04The greatest of my life.

1:13:04 > 1:13:08'I remember the master had to go away and I couldn't go with him.

1:13:08 > 1:13:11'And I was going to follow him, but then my friend came

1:13:11 > 1:13:14'and he proposed we have an adventure.'

1:13:14 > 1:13:17BARKS

1:13:20 > 1:13:23'Since the master was leaving,

1:13:23 > 1:13:27'I said yes, and off we went.'

1:13:30 > 1:13:33DOGS BARK

1:13:36 > 1:13:37'What a day that was to be a dog,

1:13:37 > 1:13:42'and to be with one who knew how to be a dog.'

1:13:42 > 1:13:45For I confess, happy though I was to belong to the master,

1:13:45 > 1:13:49until that day, I had barely glimpsed

1:13:49 > 1:13:51the glories of dogdom!

1:13:54 > 1:13:58He introduced me to the joys of chasing animals,

1:13:58 > 1:14:02a matter in which I was largely unversed,

1:14:02 > 1:14:06having only had the opportunity to chase a couple of cats.

1:14:06 > 1:14:09Cats are no use for chasing for, not knowing the rules,

1:14:09 > 1:14:13they invariably climb up trees, a habit I find contemptible.

1:14:13 > 1:14:17Horses, on the other hand, understand the rules perfectly

1:14:17 > 1:14:20and enter the business in good spirit.

1:14:20 > 1:14:22HORSE NEIGHS, DOGS BARK

1:14:37 > 1:14:41But of all the creatures that a dog can chase,

1:14:41 > 1:14:45none exceed sheep for sheer pleasure.

1:14:45 > 1:14:49SHEEP BAA

1:14:49 > 1:14:53'Their fear drifts in clouds behind them

1:14:53 > 1:14:55'and you breathe it in as you run along,

1:14:55 > 1:14:58'so you become quite intoxicated by it.'

1:15:00 > 1:15:05'It's as if one is not so much running but...flying on it.'

1:15:05 > 1:15:09Or perhaps swimming might be more a exact description.

1:15:10 > 1:15:13'Were it not for their master appearing,

1:15:13 > 1:15:15'we might have chased them all day.'

1:15:17 > 1:15:19Be gone!

1:15:19 > 1:15:21My friend didn't care, but...

1:15:21 > 1:15:25I thought we might be seized and prevented from further adventures,

1:15:25 > 1:15:28so I persuaded him to leave.

1:15:28 > 1:15:30So we went into the woods.

1:15:30 > 1:15:36And there we had the good fortune to come across...a rabbit.

1:15:40 > 1:15:42'It's not commonly known that, er, rabbit scent,

1:15:42 > 1:15:45'particularly when it's frightened,

1:15:45 > 1:15:47'and this rabbit was very frightened,'

1:15:47 > 1:15:49does not lie along the ground,

1:15:49 > 1:15:55but rises in heaps, so you have to...jump to inhale it.

1:15:56 > 1:15:59'When we'd had our fill of its fear,

1:15:59 > 1:16:02'we turned to catching it, and in this endeavour,'

1:16:02 > 1:16:05my friend showed what a splendid fellow he was,

1:16:05 > 1:16:08for he drove straight through the thicket,

1:16:08 > 1:16:11paying no heed to its many inconveniences,

1:16:11 > 1:16:16and sent the rabbit scuttling to where I was stationed.

1:16:40 > 1:16:45How much more satisfying a recently alive rabbit tastes.

1:16:45 > 1:16:51I'm afraid the masters fail to appreciate fur, guts and bones

1:16:51 > 1:16:54for the delicacies that they are.

1:16:58 > 1:17:00Then it was time to quench our thirst.

1:17:05 > 1:17:10And then, as in all things that befell us on that glorious day,

1:17:10 > 1:17:14we came across some water that had gathered in a hollow.

1:17:17 > 1:17:20Then after we drank our fill,

1:17:20 > 1:17:24we rolled in it to give ourselves a good glow,

1:17:24 > 1:17:28and then we went into the woods to rest in the shade.

1:17:31 > 1:17:33- Perhaps we should take our... - Father.

1:17:33 > 1:17:35Be quiet and sit down, please.

1:17:42 > 1:17:45You went into the woods.

1:17:45 > 1:17:47And...?

1:17:47 > 1:17:49And we slept.

1:17:51 > 1:17:53That most sublime of states,

1:17:53 > 1:17:57when the dream dreams you rather than the other way round.

1:17:57 > 1:18:01STREAM FLOWS, BIRDS TWEET

1:18:17 > 1:18:21'And when we awoke, the moon was rising.'

1:18:21 > 1:18:24'It was just on the other side of the woods,

1:18:24 > 1:18:26'so we set about surprising it.'

1:18:37 > 1:18:41And we came very close to catching it, for it was slow to get up.

1:18:41 > 1:18:44But just when we were almost on it,

1:18:44 > 1:18:48my friend couldn't control himself any longer and let out a cry!

1:18:48 > 1:18:50BOTH BARK

1:18:54 > 1:18:57And had we been there but a moment sooner,

1:18:57 > 1:19:00we surely would have seized it and torn it apart like the rabbit!

1:19:02 > 1:19:04How it would've tasted, I cannot tell.

1:19:04 > 1:19:10So we told it what a great cowardly, unsmelling thing it was,

1:19:10 > 1:19:15and if we ever caught up with it, it would surely regret it.

1:19:15 > 1:19:17BOTH BARK

1:19:19 > 1:19:23Then we turned around and went home.

1:19:24 > 1:19:27So, you knew the way home?

1:19:27 > 1:19:28Oh, yes.

1:19:28 > 1:19:31Turn towards home and go there.

1:19:33 > 1:19:35But you had been out all day, running free.

1:19:35 > 1:19:37How far from home were you?

1:19:39 > 1:19:41Yes, we'd gone many overs, that is true.

1:19:41 > 1:19:43How many, I couldn't tell.

1:19:43 > 1:19:46- Overs?- Overs. Many overs.

1:19:46 > 1:19:51Over woods and fields, streams and hills. Many overs.

1:19:53 > 1:19:55And you just...

1:19:55 > 1:19:58turned towards home?

1:19:58 > 1:20:01How else would one do it?

1:20:01 > 1:20:03- Then, why...?- And I knew...

1:20:03 > 1:20:06that I should be beaten,

1:20:06 > 1:20:11and I remembered my friend's complaint that I would use

1:20:11 > 1:20:15and how delicious it would feel when the beating had stopped

1:20:15 > 1:20:17and the insults had finished.

1:20:19 > 1:20:23Yes, the glow of having paid the price for wrongdoing.

1:20:26 > 1:20:28And were you punished?

1:20:30 > 1:20:31No, not on that occasion.

1:20:33 > 1:20:36Why was that? Do you know?

1:20:38 > 1:20:42Because a very remarkable thing happened on the way back...

1:20:54 > 1:20:58..which I cannot fully explain.

1:20:58 > 1:21:02One moment we were running along, side by side, and the next...

1:21:27 > 1:21:29..we were not.

1:21:35 > 1:21:37I cannot say what happened.

1:21:39 > 1:21:41Perhaps it was a dream and I wakened from it.

1:21:58 > 1:22:00GUNSHOT

1:22:08 > 1:22:09Was there any pain?

1:22:12 > 1:22:15Pain? No... I cannot say there was.

1:22:23 > 1:22:25'All I can remember is how clear the night was,

1:22:25 > 1:22:28'with the moon-cast shadows

1:22:28 > 1:22:32and the earth rising underneath me,

1:22:32 > 1:22:35'and home in my heart and the master waiting.'

1:22:37 > 1:22:40'But no, no pain.'

1:23:15 > 1:23:19I am most glad to hear it.

1:23:24 > 1:23:27If you will excuse me.

1:23:29 > 1:23:32Did I say something to upset you, sir?

1:23:32 > 1:23:36No, no, no, not at all!

1:23:38 > 1:23:41I am put in memory of my son, Harrington.

1:23:43 > 1:23:44That is all.

1:23:59 > 1:24:01Erm...

1:24:03 > 1:24:05Harrington was, erm,

1:24:05 > 1:24:08killed in the Boer War...

1:24:09 > 1:24:11..returning from a patrol.

1:24:11 > 1:24:13That's all we know.

1:24:15 > 1:24:18The, er, body was never recovered.

1:24:50 > 1:24:52Are you all right, Mr Fisk?

1:24:58 > 1:25:01He was shot.

1:25:05 > 1:25:06Yes.

1:25:08 > 1:25:10HE WEEPS

1:25:10 > 1:25:12Oh...

1:25:12 > 1:25:15There, there...

1:25:15 > 1:25:17SOBBING

1:25:21 > 1:25:23Better late than never, Mr Fisk.

1:25:27 > 1:25:29Come with me.

1:25:33 > 1:25:35In you go, Mr Fisk.

1:25:41 > 1:25:42Sit yourself down.

1:25:49 > 1:25:53He does mither on, that dean of yours.

1:26:10 > 1:26:13I do hope whatever I said did not upset him.

1:26:13 > 1:26:18Excuse me. I was talking to Mrs Brimley about the old days.

1:26:18 > 1:26:22Thank you, Dean, for coming. It was a memorable evening.

1:26:22 > 1:26:24No, thank you, sir.

1:26:24 > 1:26:28I fear the Tokay rendered me somewhat unsociable.

1:26:28 > 1:26:31It has a tendency to make me withdraw into myself.

1:26:31 > 1:26:36Not at all. You were all that could be hoped for in a guest.

1:26:36 > 1:26:38You know your way home from here?

1:26:38 > 1:26:43Just turn towards it is the best way, I'm told.

1:26:43 > 1:26:45I'm going in the dean's direction.

1:26:45 > 1:26:47I'll see that he gets there this time.

1:26:47 > 1:26:50- Good of you to come, Mr Wrather. - Wouldn't have missed it.

1:26:50 > 1:26:53- Good night.- Good night, sir.

1:27:04 > 1:27:06You know, Mr Wrather,

1:27:06 > 1:27:11I have the most persistent notion that we have met before.

1:27:13 > 1:27:17One often feels that about colonials...Dean.

1:27:17 > 1:27:20Yes, I have heard that said.

1:27:20 > 1:27:22Nevertheless...

1:27:22 > 1:27:26Not in the market for a new rug, are ya? I've a good friend in Marrakech.

1:27:26 > 1:27:28Marrakech?

1:27:28 > 1:27:31Colourful, exciting place, if you know the right people.

1:27:31 > 1:27:33I know the right people.

1:27:33 > 1:27:36Something of an adventure, I imagine!

1:27:41 > 1:27:45He can put away the Tokay, I'll say that for the dean.

1:27:45 > 1:27:47I thought we might have had to open the third bottle!

1:27:47 > 1:27:50Oh, two was ample, I think.

1:27:50 > 1:27:54He goes on a bit when he's in his cups, though.

1:27:55 > 1:27:57Thank you, Father!

1:28:01 > 1:28:05One moment you are running along, the next you are no more.

1:28:08 > 1:28:10Well...

1:28:30 > 1:28:32I will see you next Thursday.

1:28:32 > 1:28:35Or any day that suits.

1:28:36 > 1:28:38Mustn't get too set in our ways.

1:28:38 > 1:28:40Good night, Henslowe.

1:28:42 > 1:28:44Good night, Father.

1:28:57 > 1:28:59< God knows what they were on about.

1:28:59 > 1:29:03Something about rabbits tasting better with their fur on!

1:29:03 > 1:29:06You won't catch me cooking them, that's all I can say!

1:29:06 > 1:29:08LAUGHS

1:29:11 > 1:29:13Then, he comes in 'ere!

1:29:15 > 1:29:17First time in God knows how long.

1:29:19 > 1:29:21And he stands,

1:29:21 > 1:29:23looking at that photograph...

1:29:25 > 1:29:27..sobbing his heart out.

1:29:45 > 1:29:47Morning, Mrs Brimley.

1:29:47 > 1:29:50- It's not Thursday, you know! - No, I know.

1:29:52 > 1:29:56- How's Father? - Well...I don't know, really.

1:29:56 > 1:29:58- DOG BARKS - Here, boy!

1:29:58 > 1:30:01Wasn't my idea, you know!

1:30:01 > 1:30:03The day after that dinner,

1:30:03 > 1:30:06he sent me round to see that friend of yours,

1:30:06 > 1:30:08the one who was here.

1:30:08 > 1:30:11- Mr Wrather? - Sent me round with a letter, he did.

1:30:11 > 1:30:16- Next day, he shows up with a dog! - LAUGHTER >

1:30:16 > 1:30:20- What kind of dog? - Oh, one of those, erm...

1:30:20 > 1:30:23- Oh, like before! - A spaniel?

1:30:23 > 1:30:26- Must be one of the seven. - Clever boy!

1:30:26 > 1:30:30One's quite enough in this house, thank you very much.

1:30:30 > 1:30:32It's already chewed a cushion!

1:30:32 > 1:30:35He's in the garden.

1:30:36 > 1:30:39Imagine! Mr Fisk in the garden!

1:30:39 > 1:30:42He'll be growing roses next.

1:30:49 > 1:30:53- Twist! Twist! - DOG BARKS

1:31:14 > 1:31:17'That was the end of my talks with Dean Spanley,

1:31:17 > 1:31:20'although my father sometimes saw him at the club.'

1:31:23 > 1:31:26'Don't know what they talked about, if anything.'

1:31:26 > 1:31:29'As for the question of reincarnation,

1:31:29 > 1:31:31'I resolved to wait and see,

1:31:31 > 1:31:34'albeit with more anticipation than hitherto.'

1:31:36 > 1:31:40'And should I find myself in the form of a dog,

1:31:40 > 1:31:44'I trust I will be so fortunate as to belong to a master

1:31:44 > 1:31:47'as kind as my father.'