0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains strong language.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11# What this country's coming to
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# I sure would like to know
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# If they don't do something by and by
0:00:17 > 0:00:22# The rich will live and the poor will die
0:00:22 > 0:00:27# Doggone, I mean the panic is on
0:00:28 > 0:00:32# Can't get no work, can't draw no pay
0:00:32 > 0:00:36# Unemployment getting worser every day
0:00:36 > 0:00:39# Nothing to eat and no place to sleep
0:00:39 > 0:00:43# All night long folks walking the street
0:00:43 > 0:00:48# Doggone, I mean the panic is on
0:00:50 > 0:00:54# All the landlords done raised the rents
0:00:54 > 0:00:57# Folks that ain't broke is badly bent
0:00:57 > 0:01:01# Where they get dough from, goodness knows
0:01:01 > 0:01:05# But if they don't produce it, in the street they goes
0:01:05 > 0:01:10# Doggone, I mean the panic is on
0:01:12 > 0:01:16# Some women are selling apples, some selling pies
0:01:16 > 0:01:19# Some selling gin and rye
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# Some selling socks to support they man
0:01:22 > 0:01:26# In fact, some are selling everything they can
0:01:26 > 0:01:31# Doggone, I mean the panic is on
0:01:33 > 0:01:36# Repo man came by today
0:01:36 > 0:01:40# Took the rest of my stuff away
0:01:40 > 0:01:44# Took my records but missed my gun
0:01:44 > 0:01:48# So now there's gonna be some stealing done
0:01:48 > 0:01:52# We been conned, the panic is on. #
0:02:00 > 0:02:02In the last years of the Cold War,
0:02:02 > 0:02:07the former Soviet Union developed a new weapon of mass destruction.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11Harnessing the awesome power of Earth's own gravity,
0:02:11 > 0:02:16these GD-34 Growler bombs were smaller and more destructive
0:02:16 > 0:02:19than any battlefield munition previously deployed.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26In the late 20th century, the largest repossession company was GMAC,
0:02:26 > 0:02:29General Motors Acceptance Corporation.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33With the deregulation of the banks, GMAC and less scrupulous companies
0:02:33 > 0:02:38were able to sell mortgages to poor people who couldn't afford them.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43As the economy collapsed, repossession and corrections
0:02:43 > 0:02:47became the United States' only non-military growth industries.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Meanwhile, six Growlers remained unaccounted for.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53POLICE SIREN HOWLS
0:03:11 > 0:03:13MAN SCREAMS
0:03:25 > 0:03:28MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Miss Pixxi?
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Ahe-hem!
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Miss Pixxi!
0:03:53 > 0:03:54MUSIC STOPS
0:03:54 > 0:03:55What's up?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Your forebears will see you now.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00My...what?
0:04:00 > 0:04:05Your father, your aunt, your grandmother.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06You know the drill.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Sit down, Pixxita.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Since our last meeting, Pixxi,
0:04:29 > 0:04:33you have been arrested how many times?
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Well, it's been 18, hasn't it? 18 times!
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Come on, Pops, you know how it is, fucking Beverly Hills cops,
0:04:41 > 0:04:45lying at my probation hearing, lying in wait outside our gate.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Your driving licence was revoked...a year ago.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Why are you still driving, Pixxi?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54A girl's gotta eat, right?
0:04:54 > 0:04:56I'm entitled to a life.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00- It's in the Constitution. - Holding up with strangers!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Hook-ups, Mother. They call it hooking up.- That's right.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08Oh, Grandma, those are lies. I knew all five of those boys.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Are we done yet?
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Pixxi, we De La Chasses
0:05:13 > 0:05:17are often accused of being rapacious oligarchs.
0:05:17 > 0:05:24Merely on account of our wealth... we are abused and persecuted.
0:05:24 > 0:05:31Can you not see how your actions add to our burden of suffering?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33No.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Pixxita, at our last family council,
0:05:36 > 0:05:42you swore to abstain from drinking, driving, clubbing,
0:05:42 > 0:05:44eating in restaurants,
0:05:44 > 0:05:49lending the De La Chasse family name to unguents and perfumes,
0:05:49 > 0:05:55and having unprotected sex with...boy backup dancers.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00And yet, lo and behold, here we are, two short weeks later,
0:06:00 > 0:06:04and you've done all of these things, haven't you? Yeah.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08Oh, Pops, don't worry, the cosmetics deal is going to fall through,
0:06:08 > 0:06:12but wait...wait till you see my line of thongs, it's so beautiful.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15They're pink and purple and yellow, and some glow in the dark.
0:06:15 > 0:06:16Cease!
0:06:16 > 0:06:21You and your...your snookery, your gadabout snookery!
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Tell her to get a job or she'll be disinherited.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27In light of your malfeasance, we have no choice...
0:06:27 > 0:06:30'Yes, get a job, or you'll be disinherited!'
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- Disin...what?- Disin...what?
0:06:46 > 0:06:51Disin...hurted? What's it mean?
0:06:51 > 0:06:53It's when they go to your grave and dig you up.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57They can't do it to Pixxi because she's not dead yet.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Right, Pix?- Right.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Coo-ee!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04It's me!
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Well, why did you pick up the phone if it's a wrong number, asshole?
0:07:11 > 0:07:15You mean disinterred, Eggi. Disinherited is different.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17But what does it mean, Pix?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Disinherited is like when someone owes you a lot of money,
0:07:20 > 0:07:22like a fortune, and they refuse to hand it over.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24And what makes it even worse
0:07:24 > 0:07:27is that it's your own family that's trying to screw you over.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29That's wack! That's like criminal, Pix.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33I know - that's why we're going to go to my office right now,
0:07:33 > 0:07:36and we're going to get the best legal advice they can afford.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Yes!
0:07:40 > 0:07:41Coo-ee!
0:07:41 > 0:07:44OK, this is the second time I'm calling you.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48Why do you keep picking up the phone if it's a wrong number? Asshole!
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Loser!- God!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56The thing is, Pixxi,
0:07:56 > 0:08:00your family don't have to give you any money if they don't want to.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04- Yes, they do. - No. No, in fact, the law says...
0:08:04 > 0:08:06Who cares about the fucking law?
0:08:06 > 0:08:09It's her family, they can't screw her!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11But the law says...
0:08:11 > 0:08:15The law can go suck my ass. Right, Pixxi?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18All right, 666, take it easy. Let's hear what the jerk has to say,
0:08:18 > 0:08:22and then if we don't like it, we'll just throw him down the stairs.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27Pixxi, you're an adult, yes? Over 18. 21, presumably?
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Don't go there.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35The fact is, your family has no legal obligation to give you any money.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36Yes, they do!
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Let me ask you a question.
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Stop asking her questions, and start suing them!
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- Yeah!- When your family said that you were disinherited,
0:08:46 > 0:08:49did they offer up any sort of deal,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52a resolution for you to be undisinherited?
0:08:52 > 0:08:55(Yeah, they said, "Get a job.")
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00They told me to get a job!
0:09:00 > 0:09:02You bastard!
0:09:02 > 0:09:04They said if you found a job,
0:09:04 > 0:09:07you'd be back into the family so as to inherit?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Ah! It's relatively simple.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- Get a job.- I have a job!
0:09:13 > 0:09:17I am a...cosmetics designer and a fashion designer
0:09:17 > 0:09:19and a haute-couture model!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22And I have my own record company!
0:09:22 > 0:09:26And I'm a media executive producer!
0:09:26 > 0:09:28I have so many jobs that I can't keep count!
0:09:28 > 0:09:31VEHICLE REVERSING BEEPS
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Bastard.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40You think it's so easy, but Pixxi is busy.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44Ain't no way she'll be able to fit a job into her schedule!
0:09:44 > 0:09:47- What will she do when the money runs out?- Hey, Pixxi, look!
0:09:47 > 0:09:51These guys are attaching the front end of your car
0:09:51 > 0:09:54to some great big mobile hook...thing.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Savage!
0:09:57 > 0:10:01Hey, Frankenfuck! What the hell do you think you're doing, huh?
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Hello.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13Uh...
0:10:13 > 0:10:16This here unit, it's, uh...
0:10:16 > 0:10:19it's been reassigned to new owners.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20- Huh?- Yep!
0:10:20 > 0:10:24You see, the previous caretakers of this here lovely unit,
0:10:24 > 0:10:26well, they forgot to take good care of it.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Not only did they neglect to change the oil and take it for its service,
0:10:30 > 0:10:33worse, they forgot to fulfil the monthly debt
0:10:33 > 0:10:35that they had financially incurred.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- Is this a kind of a money thing? - In a nutshell.
0:10:41 > 0:10:45Well, you stay here. My boss is upstairs.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48This is her car. I'll go get her, she'll explain everything.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50- OK.- OK? OK.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56Um...
0:10:56 > 0:10:58You're still gonna...be here, right?
0:10:58 > 0:11:03I mean, you're not gonna drive off while I'm inside?
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- What does it say? - Well, read it for yourself.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Uh...
0:11:19 > 0:11:23I don't really read too good, so... can you just tell me what it says?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- You bet.- OK.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Right there, it says, "General George Armstrong Custer,"
0:11:29 > 0:11:31and then underneath it, in smaller letters,
0:11:31 > 0:11:35it says, "Velvet Glove Acceptance Corporation" - that's my company.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39Well, all right! That's all right, yeah!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Well, I tell you what - you stay here, General.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46- OK, yes, sir.- Pixxi De La Chasse will be right down, all right?
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Whoo!
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Um, guys, how did they get the letters to stand up like this?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Huh, Pix?- How did they get the letters to stand up like this?
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- On our printer, we only get it flat. - That's unfabulous!
0:12:22 > 0:12:28It must be one of those chill, new, super...3D printers, I guess.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- Add to shopping cart! - Now, that's fabulous!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40"Velvet Glove Acceptance Corporation.
0:12:40 > 0:12:44"Hours of opening, 8:00 to 10:00, 3:30 to 4:00, alternate Thursdays.
0:12:44 > 0:12:48"No admittance without appointment.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50"If no answer, check with bartender."
0:12:50 > 0:12:51BIRDSONG
0:12:53 > 0:12:55METALLIC CRASH
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Ahe-hem!
0:13:00 > 0:13:02No answer!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05What do we do?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Wake up.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Ahe-hem!
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Oh, please!
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Hey, dildohead. We come for our car.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41HE LAUGHS
0:13:41 > 0:13:44General Custer? I didn't even know we had these.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Did you hear what I said? I said that we come for our car.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Don't have it.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Give it back!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59That car belongs to Pixxi De La Chasse.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02The rock star and clothing designer?
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Ahem!
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Still too late. Thank you.
0:14:06 > 0:14:10She's also a record producer and bigging the media all the time.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15So if you old men want to avoid a world of hurt,
0:14:15 > 0:14:18surrender the motor.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20The bank took it away about an hour ago.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22They move fast on specialty units.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Specialty units, ain't that the truth?
0:14:25 > 0:14:26- They took it away fast.- Yep.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29For the last time!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32SHE HISSES
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Beat the bejesus out of 'em, Eggi.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37What? Me?
0:14:37 > 0:14:41If you can't do it, have one of the boys do it. Now!
0:14:42 > 0:14:44Oh, yeah!
0:14:44 > 0:14:48Get up, you deadbeat scum, and take what's coming to ya!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50OK.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55My little pumpkin!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Uncle Aguas!
0:14:57 > 0:14:59It's my uncle, guys!
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Interested?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Partially.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Purchasers of locomotive parts
0:15:20 > 0:15:24are subject to an extensive background check.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Patriot Act, et cetera.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34But you look...OK.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Why, thank you.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37I am.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43So Aguas,
0:15:43 > 0:15:47how long have you been Savage's uncle, huh?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51All his life.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- So long?- Wow!
0:15:54 > 0:15:58- That's sick!- OK, wait.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02I still don't see how you could just steal someone's car.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05I mean, unit, Mister...
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Gray, Ms Pixxi.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Arizona Gray III can steal just about any unit
0:16:10 > 0:16:11you can conceive of,
0:16:11 > 0:16:14so long as the bank desires it.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17And not just vehicular units.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19The bank owns everything.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23So Gray goes after boat units, airplane units, railroad units.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Residential units, office building units,
0:16:26 > 0:16:29medical-dental units, casino units.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32One time, he ripped an entire factory unit!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Yep, should've seen the look on those workers' faces
0:16:34 > 0:16:38when they showed up to their jobs and their plant was gone.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43You guys are repo men.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45Man, I saw a movie about you.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- Shut up, Six. - No, no.
0:16:47 > 0:16:51Look, there was this dude, and he was being chased by repo men.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53MUSIC THROUGH HEADPHONES
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Then he drove his car onto the driveway
0:16:55 > 0:16:57of this mansion belonging to this old Hollywood movie star,
0:16:57 > 0:17:00and he ended up drowned in the pool.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04- Or was that the beginning? - Hey, Uncle Aguas?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07That poster says that you're looking for a few good men.
0:17:07 > 0:17:12Yes, always. A good man is hard to find.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16And vice versa, sweetie. Reason I ask...
0:17:16 > 0:17:18KNOCKING ON DOOR
0:17:18 > 0:17:20DOOR CREAKING
0:17:22 > 0:17:25That locomotive in the yard.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Locomotive unit, yes? In our yard?
0:17:30 > 0:17:34I would like to buy some parts.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38- Locomotive unit parts? - That's it.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Did Lola run your security checks?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Mm-hm.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- Assist the gentleman. - Yes, sir.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51As I was saying, Uncle Aguas,
0:17:51 > 0:17:54my employer, Pixxi De La Chasse,
0:17:54 > 0:17:58is always seeking chill, real-life, real-time experiences.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02She's not afraid to roll up her sleeves and get her hands dirty.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04- She ain't got no sleeves. - You see?
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Maybe Pixxi, because she is so fabulous and
0:18:07 > 0:18:10down with the common people, Uncle Aguas,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- might just consent to... - Pixxi could be a repo man!
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- Yeah!- An army of one! - Yes!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19- Ripping units!- Yeah!
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- Sending deadbeats to the bank! - Yes!- Yes!
0:18:25 > 0:18:29This would be the Pixxi De La Chasse who has nine court appearances
0:18:29 > 0:18:32coming up and is looking at jail time if she doesn't get a job
0:18:32 > 0:18:36in addition to being disinherited by her family? That Pixxi?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38No comment.
0:18:38 > 0:18:43- Fuckin' A, that's her! - Get off!
0:18:43 > 0:18:45How much you going to pay me to hire her?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56So how much are they paying you?
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Don't really know. Money goes directly to the company.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04I just do what Aguas says,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07and Aguas says, "Drive her around, show her the ropes."
0:19:08 > 0:19:13- Sounds interesting. So where are they?- Where are what?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15The ropes?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17In the trunk, along with the spare tire
0:19:17 > 0:19:21and some confiscated personal items and checklists.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Are your friends going to do this all day?
0:19:24 > 0:19:29Yeah, actually. They're making a documentary reality show about me.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32No kidding! When's it going to be on the TV?
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Not any TV you have.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37It's going to be on a very exclusive, in-house,
0:19:37 > 0:19:39hotel intranet in Dubai.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41That's better than any TV show.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Oh!- Sorry!
0:19:45 > 0:19:48All right. There's your first assignment.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51You see that big old trailer at the end of the street?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54We need to liberate that from some Freddie Mac offenders.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- These are some mainline mortgage abusers.- All right.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Let me at 'em.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10DOG GROWLING
0:20:10 > 0:20:12GUN SHOT
0:20:12 > 0:20:14DOG YELPS
0:20:17 > 0:20:18LOUD ELECTRONIC SOUND
0:20:22 > 0:20:26You have 30 seconds to vacate this property.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30After that, I will begin shooting.
0:20:30 > 0:20:3225...
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Excuse me, I mean, ten,
0:20:35 > 0:20:37nine, eight,
0:20:37 > 0:20:41three, two...
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Huh!
0:21:23 > 0:21:26No!
0:21:26 > 0:21:28No!
0:21:33 > 0:21:34Testing, one, two three.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Pixxi De La Chasse interview. Take one.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41What's up, Pix?
0:21:41 > 0:21:46So, what was it like, your first day on the job?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48- That's a very good question... - Wait, wait.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Sorry. Action!
0:21:51 > 0:21:52Take two!
0:21:55 > 0:22:00So what was it like, your first day on the job?
0:22:01 > 0:22:05Well, you know, at first,
0:22:05 > 0:22:08I kind of felt bad, you know?
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Having to get up real early
0:22:10 > 0:22:13and dress way down just to...to fit in.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16But once I started doing the work,
0:22:16 > 0:22:19I realized that I, too, could make a difference.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21It's like my friend the Dalai Lama said,
0:22:21 > 0:22:24when he returned to his own city, he saw no throne.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Wow.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Pixxi, you know everything.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Ha! Wow, yeah.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Pretty much everything worth knowing.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Aguas, Aguas! You should have seen her, man!
0:22:44 > 0:22:45This girl's a natural.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49It was one of the finest opera primi I have ever seen.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- She shoot the dogs? - No, but she sure scared 'em!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56And when she did that countdown?
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Ten, nine, eight,
0:22:59 > 0:23:02three, two, six, four!
0:23:02 > 0:23:04It was a classic!
0:23:04 > 0:23:07- And the unit? - Already subdivided.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Three new families moved in.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13Nice people. Spoke to 'em a while in their own lingo.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- You want to take her out again? - Sure.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20Let's see. Sailboat?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Sailboat.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Last seen Marina del Rey.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Three corporate jets, Ontario.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Back to Detroit, deadbeats!
0:23:32 > 0:23:35And take the bus.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37- Impressive.- Yep.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- The problem... - Problem?
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- She's too good.- Hm?- Yep.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45Look at her stats.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- Since yesterday, she has ripped five cars...- Fantastic.- ..four homes...
0:23:49 > 0:23:50- Terrific!- ..three planes,
0:23:50 > 0:23:55six shopping malls, and two places of worship.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58You're saying that if she continues thus,
0:23:58 > 0:24:02her work will be the standard by which ours is judged?
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Exactly.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07We got us a live one, Aguas, filled with boundless energy,
0:24:07 > 0:24:10ambitious, sadistic, fast.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Better add sand to that gas tank.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Check.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20I'd like these rushes fine cut by tonight.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Eggi, I'd like you to get my lawyer on the phone...yesterday.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I'd also like a print out of how my thongs are doing market-wise.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Er, Savage?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Shiatsu. Now!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31HE WAILS
0:24:35 > 0:24:37What it do?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43He got beat up, Pix.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44My bodyguard?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46There were eight of 'em, Pixxi.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Why'd they beat him up?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52- Drug dealers.- Drug dealers?!
0:24:53 > 0:24:57666 owes a lot of money to drug dealers, Pixxi.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- A lot of money.- Drug dealers, huh?
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Have they got any good Quaaludes,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03any Roar 714s, knock you on the floor?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06No, just the real thing.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Coke, crank...
0:25:09 > 0:25:11The Way.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15So how much are they charging for a gram of coke? Less than 40?
0:25:15 > 0:25:17No, Pixxi, 75.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20WHAT?! No one's that stupid.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Are you guys lying to me?
0:25:24 > 0:25:26No...no, Pixxi!
0:25:26 > 0:25:28They beat him brutally.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31They said they'd kill me...
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- Unless he pays them what he owes. - And how much does he owe?
0:25:35 > 0:25:37A million dollars.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39SHE LAUGHS
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Are you kidding me?
0:25:41 > 0:25:44You're trying to tell me that you consumed 1 million worth of drugs?
0:25:44 > 0:25:46500 worth of drugs would have killed you.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Why are you still alive, you idiot?
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Are you guys trying to lie to me and steal all my money?
0:25:52 > 0:25:54ALL: No.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Pixxi, new assignment.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Check.
0:26:00 > 0:26:04Yard two is where all the secondary units are tracked and stored.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05Hmm, secondary units?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Yup. Up till now, you've just been handling primary units,
0:26:09 > 0:26:11cars and homes and such.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15Secondary units is where all the big, important stuff is.
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Consider this your promotion.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Hello, Lola.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26New recruit. Pixxi...
0:26:27 > 0:26:29..meet Lola.
0:26:40 > 0:26:41Won't last.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45We'll see about that.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50So how much are they paying you?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52To entertain you, Pinkie?
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Not enough.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Go fetch me some dregs from that slop bin over there.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04So, Lola, not that I'm not having a fabulous time with you,
0:27:04 > 0:27:06but I'm just wondering, you know,
0:27:06 > 0:27:09when the actual fun is going to begin.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12This is the fun.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17No, no, no, it's not. The fun is when we were ripping units
0:27:17 > 0:27:19and I was going into people's homes and I...
0:27:19 > 0:27:22That's Primary Units. Secondary units are way too heavy
0:27:22 > 0:27:24and by the time they get to us,
0:27:24 > 0:27:27they're already wrecked.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Oh.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31How about that?
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Forget it, Pinkie. Doesn't exist.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Says here it do, Shorty.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42"Three antique railroad cars,
0:27:42 > 0:27:44"Dining, caboose...
0:27:44 > 0:27:47"observation...
0:27:47 > 0:27:50"1 million reward...
0:27:50 > 0:27:53"1900 LOSTTRAIN."
0:27:53 > 0:27:54Can I have your phone?
0:27:56 > 0:28:00That antique railroad car...
0:28:00 > 0:28:02- is an urban myth.- Huh?
0:28:03 > 0:28:07You know, like the poodle in the microwave
0:28:07 > 0:28:10or the hippies spitting on the Vietnam vets.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Why did they put a poodle in a microwave? Was it wet?
0:28:15 > 0:28:16They never did.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18It's a myth...
0:28:19 > 0:28:22- OK.- ..like these antique, railroad cars,
0:28:22 > 0:28:26or the big lottery win, existing solely
0:28:26 > 0:28:30to encourage typical, no-hoper, jerk-offs like you.
0:28:30 > 0:28:34That's where you're wrong cos I am no typical, no-hoper, jerk-off.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37I happen to come from one of LA's nine most influential families
0:28:37 > 0:28:41and if it weren't for some bullshit scandal, then my father would be mayor.
0:28:41 > 0:28:45Take these dregs back to the slop bin.
0:28:47 > 0:28:48Check!
0:29:03 > 0:29:04Father?
0:29:04 > 0:29:07It is I, Pixxita.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10Pixxi? Is it you?
0:29:12 > 0:29:17Last time you were here, you consigned me,
0:29:17 > 0:29:21your aunt and grandmother to the torments of hell.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24You vowed never to return.
0:29:24 > 0:29:29Yes, I know, but I think that we can put that in the past now.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31Can't we all just get along?
0:29:33 > 0:29:37Pixxi, the De La Chasse family escutcheon hangs in the balance.
0:29:38 > 0:29:43- Have you found gainful employ yet? - Yes, I have found it.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45I am a repossession woman!
0:29:45 > 0:29:49You and the Beverly Hills court system were right to force me to get a job.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52I've learned so much from my experiences,
0:29:52 > 0:29:56especially here in this beautiful, family chapel.
0:30:00 > 0:30:05So having earned my lesson, I'd like to take an advance on my inheritance
0:30:05 > 0:30:07as to promote a few business ventures
0:30:07 > 0:30:09as well as pay off a few fines.
0:30:09 > 0:30:13Erm, ten million would be best, but five is acceptable.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Cet argent n'existe plus.
0:30:18 > 0:30:23So thoughtful and kind of you and grandma
0:30:23 > 0:30:27and my aunts to cut me off temporarily.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30I...I really think it just turned me right around,
0:30:30 > 0:30:34like as if I took a cold shower in the bright of day.
0:30:35 > 0:30:37Wh...What did you say before?
0:30:38 > 0:30:43I said, Pixxi, that money is no more.
0:30:43 > 0:30:44SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:30:44 > 0:30:50Your entire inheritance, all 77 million of it, give or take,
0:30:50 > 0:30:53has been given to Mother Teresa's Daughters,
0:30:53 > 0:30:57which is a marvellous little charity that provides women of poverty
0:30:57 > 0:31:00access to false information regarding pregnancy
0:31:00 > 0:31:04and denies access to birth control.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08Wow.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10That's quite something.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15- Your grandmother thought it would piss you off.- Oh, how it did.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18And I'm just going to have to get you back.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21You just try, my darling. You just try.
0:31:23 > 0:31:27We De La Chasses are white, rich,
0:31:27 > 0:31:29relatively vice-free.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32We have no debts, huge holdings
0:31:32 > 0:31:35and so, my little chickadee...
0:31:35 > 0:31:37you can't touch us.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44You just wait...homes.
0:31:47 > 0:31:51- So, Lola...- Yes, Pinkie?
0:31:51 > 0:31:54Is it true with just a few strokes of the keyboard,
0:31:54 > 0:31:56someone could ruin someone's credit score,
0:31:56 > 0:31:59get them evicted kicking and screaming from their own home,
0:31:59 > 0:32:04even if they own it, or is that just another one of your urban myths?
0:32:04 > 0:32:06No, Pinkie. That is no myth.
0:32:08 > 0:32:13And there are those of us in our business who have done that very thing
0:32:13 > 0:32:15so as to revenge ourselves.
0:32:18 > 0:32:22These are such lovely flowers that you have here.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Really beautiful.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27They're Gray's.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31Lola, could you show me what keystrokes and mouse clicks are required to do such a thing?
0:32:31 > 0:32:33To do what, Pinkie?
0:32:33 > 0:32:37Oh, I don't know... Ruin someone's credit, destroy them completely?
0:32:37 > 0:32:38As a joke, obviously.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43Sure, Pinkie, I'd be happy to.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46Give me a name at random.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49Aldrich De La Chasse.
0:32:50 > 0:32:56- Spell it.- A-L-D-R-I-C-H.
0:33:18 > 0:33:20Coo-eee.
0:33:20 > 0:33:24- It's impossible.- Can't be done.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25Doesn't exist.
0:33:25 > 0:33:26But I saw it.
0:33:26 > 0:33:30I saw the entire train, three cars and a locomotive.
0:33:30 > 0:33:35Do you know how many repo men and women have wasted good men and women hours
0:33:35 > 0:33:38in the fruitless search for that imaginary unit?!
0:33:38 > 0:33:41Couple of them never came back, and the ones that did, well, they were never the same.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44That's because they were searching for something that doesn't exist.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47- A ghost train. - This is not a ghost train.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50It is made of real flesh and blood like me
0:33:50 > 0:33:52and it's worth a million dollars!
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Have you called that 900 number? The one offering the million dollars?
0:33:56 > 0:33:58I don't have the train yet.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02Well, why don't you call them now and see if the offer still exists?
0:34:02 > 0:34:06I'll call them after I rip that train, Lola.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10DOGS BARK AND HOWL
0:34:13 > 0:34:14Hey.
0:34:16 > 0:34:20- Hello.- Make a charitable contribution?
0:34:20 > 0:34:23- What's the charity?- Against Golf.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26- I don't play golf.- Nor do I.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29We're going to get it made illegal.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Do you know how many lives are ruined by golf courses?
0:34:32 > 0:34:34Nope, but I can imagine.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39- Only got a buck on me.- That's fine.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Thank you.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48Who was that, Gray?
0:34:48 > 0:34:52- Man taking up a collection to ban golf.- No kidding!- Yep.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55- I've never been golfing. - Me neither.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58You want to give it a whirl?
0:34:58 > 0:35:02- Sure, boss, on my next day off. - OK, stop changing the subject!
0:35:02 > 0:35:04Aguas, assign me that train.
0:35:07 > 0:35:12All right. That unit that doesn't exist, the ghost train,
0:35:12 > 0:35:15you're assigned to find it.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19Thanks.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22This is after you do your real work, kiddo.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23We have a date tomorrow
0:35:23 > 0:35:27to smash up a pallet-load of mercury vapour lamps.
0:35:27 > 0:35:28Check!
0:35:36 > 0:35:37Marco...
0:35:38 > 0:35:40I just had the most amazing dream.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42I was...
0:35:42 > 0:35:47I was busting up a pallet of mercury vapour lamps
0:35:47 > 0:35:51and all of a sudden, I could fly and as I was soaring to great heights,
0:35:51 > 0:35:55I looked down and I saw my grandma
0:35:55 > 0:35:59and my aunt and my father and...
0:35:59 > 0:36:03they were being beaten by the police!
0:36:04 > 0:36:08Watch some telly, Boo Boo. You'll soon forget it.
0:36:08 > 0:36:09Right.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15Oh, snap. Look, Pixxi!
0:36:15 > 0:36:16It's me in my new video!
0:36:16 > 0:36:18# There was a monkey
0:36:18 > 0:36:21# That escaped from the zoo... #
0:36:21 > 0:36:25Police swoop on downtown's homeless tonight.
0:36:25 > 0:36:31For the sixth night in succession, LAPD are seizing the property-less
0:36:31 > 0:36:34and dumping them beyond the city limits...
0:36:35 > 0:36:37Swine flu at the National Kennel Club.
0:36:37 > 0:36:41- Are these pups affected? - Look how cute the puppies are!
0:36:41 > 0:36:43And did you see that neat, old train
0:36:43 > 0:36:48- under the bridge where them cops were?- No, tell me more...
0:36:48 > 0:36:55Two classic passenger cars, a caboose and a black locomotive.
0:36:55 > 0:36:56WHAT?!
0:36:58 > 0:37:02- ..seizing the property-less... - That's it! That's the train! That's the train!
0:37:07 > 0:37:091900...
0:37:09 > 0:37:12- what was the rest of the number? - The rest of what, Pixxi?
0:37:12 > 0:37:15The number for the train that we found.
0:37:15 > 0:37:181900 LOST TRAIN, eh?
0:37:18 > 0:37:19Very funny.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28- Hello.- 'Hello.'
0:37:28 > 0:37:30I found your train.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35- 'Are you there?'- Uh-huh.
0:37:35 > 0:37:39- 'I found your train, OK?' - OK. Where is it?
0:37:41 > 0:37:45Wouldn't I be the silly one to tell you where your precious little train is?
0:37:45 > 0:37:49'Not until I see the million buckeroonies, buckaroo!'
0:37:49 > 0:37:51I see your current location as Santa Fe Avenue
0:37:51 > 0:37:54and the 7th Street Bridge in the City of Vernon.
0:37:54 > 0:37:58- Do you still have the unit in sight?- 'Ah, fuck you!'
0:37:58 > 0:38:00Give me my money first or else...
0:38:00 > 0:38:01SCREAMING
0:38:01 > 0:38:03CRASH
0:38:16 > 0:38:18- Eggi, give me your phone!- Can't...
0:38:18 > 0:38:20- I'm trapped.- Now!
0:38:21 > 0:38:24- (WHIMPERS) OK.- Come on!
0:38:29 > 0:38:30Where Pixxi?
0:38:37 > 0:38:42Senator Fletcher! Well, it's a real pleasure to meet you, sir.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45I'm Nevada on behalf of GrandioseSolutions.com.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49And this is Giggli. If there's anything you should need during your trip,
0:38:49 > 0:38:53and I do mean anything, senator, just call on either one of us.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56Well, I might just do that.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01- Senator!- Mr Lorenzo. - Welcome aboard, sir.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03Thank you.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07Pixxi, Boo Boo!
0:39:07 > 0:39:10'You've reached the Velvet Glove Acceptance Company.'
0:39:10 > 0:39:13- Sshhh!- 'We're out right now, screwing some unfortunate.
0:39:13 > 0:39:17'If you seek to be screwed by us as well, wait your turn.'
0:39:18 > 0:39:22Aguas, listen. I found the train.
0:39:24 > 0:39:28Supreme Court Justice Espinoza and Mrs Espinoza, I'm Nevada
0:39:28 > 0:39:31from GrandioseSolutions.com. It's a real pleasure to meet you.
0:39:31 > 0:39:35- Of course.- And this is Giggli. Welcome aboard!- Ladies, thank you.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37There you go, honey.
0:39:37 > 0:39:38SHE GASPS
0:39:38 > 0:39:43Reverend Duncan! It's a real pleasure to meet you.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47Oh, you can call me Sister Duncan. And what's your name, love?
0:39:47 > 0:39:51I'm Nevada, sister, from GrandioseSolutions.com.
0:39:51 > 0:39:56- On board, Giggli will give you your welcome pack.- Brother Lorenzo?
0:39:56 > 0:39:58Welcome aboard, sir.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00- Oh!- Brother Lorenzo!
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Sister Duncan!
0:40:05 > 0:40:08- Brother Lorenzo.- Watch your step.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Oh, a mysterious envelope!
0:40:10 > 0:40:13- Surely you don't think that I... - No, no, no.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15Just a small gift from our sponsors, Sister Duncan,
0:40:15 > 0:40:18for your work with children.
0:40:18 > 0:40:20Ohhhhh!
0:40:20 > 0:40:21Please.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23- Thank you.- Welcome aboard.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38Damn it, Marco! Which one's mine?
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Mira, Pixxi. Red carpet!
0:40:42 > 0:40:44Hey! Coo-eee!
0:40:44 > 0:40:47- Coo-eee!- May I help you?
0:40:47 > 0:40:49Yes, by, erm, getting out of my way.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52- This train has been hired for a private excursion.- Yes, I know.
0:40:52 > 0:40:56- I am on the guest list.- Your name?
0:40:56 > 0:40:59Pixxi De La Chasse Obando y Bravo, of course.
0:41:00 > 0:41:01Hmm. Well...
0:41:01 > 0:41:04Hmm. You're not on the list.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Hmm! Looks like I am!
0:41:06 > 0:41:10Rikki Espinoza, that's my pseudonym for all the parties.
0:41:10 > 0:41:12Nevada, this is Pixxi De La Chasse.
0:41:12 > 0:41:16She is in all the tabloids. Her family are, like...
0:41:17 > 0:41:18- ..you know.- Really?
0:41:18 > 0:41:22Yes. And this excursion would barely exist without me.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24Well, please.
0:41:26 > 0:41:28The rest of the guests are having a pre-brunch cocktail
0:41:28 > 0:41:30- in the observation cart. - You're not on the list.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33- If you'd like to join them, Pixxi... - Oh, that's so sweet.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36- And what's your name? - My name is Giggli.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39- Giggli, what a lovely name! - Isn't it? My parents made it up.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41Very sweet. Coo-ee!
0:41:43 > 0:41:44He's with me.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54BLOWS WHISTLE
0:42:08 > 0:42:12Miss Pixxi and Mr Marco, is it? Welcome aboard.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15I'm Lorenzo, your onboard service manager.
0:42:15 > 0:42:17May I fill your glass?
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Please...
0:42:19 > 0:42:20Please...
0:42:22 > 0:42:24And we're off!
0:42:24 > 0:42:28GrandioseSolutions.com is proud to organise this brief tour
0:42:28 > 0:42:30of the proposed route
0:42:30 > 0:42:33of the Arbogast Energy Corridor for VIPs,
0:42:33 > 0:42:36stakeholders and opinion-formers.
0:42:36 > 0:42:37For the next few hours,
0:42:37 > 0:42:41as Grandiose Solutions' Luxor Parlor Train visits these sites,
0:42:41 > 0:42:42we'll be serving brunch,
0:42:42 > 0:42:44followed by lunch, a wine tasting
0:42:44 > 0:42:48and English country-house style sandwiches.
0:42:50 > 0:42:52May we refill your glasses?
0:42:52 > 0:42:53Sure.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57I'll get back to you.
0:42:57 > 0:42:59What am I doing here, again?
0:42:59 > 0:43:04Visiting the proposed route for the Energy Corridor, Senator Fletcher.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05A half a mile wide,
0:43:05 > 0:43:081,000 miles long, serving the LA area
0:43:08 > 0:43:11with liquid natural gas from Coos Bay, Oregon,
0:43:11 > 0:43:13wind power from Canada
0:43:13 > 0:43:17and heavy crude from the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18Well, that's great.
0:43:18 > 0:43:21Only maybe I should have brought my hard hat.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27It will not be necessary to leave the train, senator.
0:43:27 > 0:43:31We are just interested in your general impression.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34You can view the proposed Energy Corridor
0:43:34 > 0:43:40from the comfort of your seat in the observation, dining car or caboose.
0:43:40 > 0:43:42Not the caboose, Giggli!
0:43:43 > 0:43:45Right! Er, not the caboose.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Why not the caboose?
0:43:47 > 0:43:51Only maybe I should have brought my hard hat!
0:43:51 > 0:43:53These people are total fools.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56Who cares about them? How much money did he give you?
0:43:56 > 0:43:59I don't know. I haven't checked yet.
0:43:59 > 0:44:01Uh uh! Gimme.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16SHE MEOWS WITH EXCITEMENT
0:44:28 > 0:44:29Ms Espinoza?
0:44:29 > 0:44:33We're going to have some cocktails in the observation car.
0:44:35 > 0:44:39INDISTINCT WHISPERING
0:44:39 > 0:44:41Wasn't it Billy Graham?
0:44:41 > 0:44:49No, I believe it was Pat Robertson who said that it was unrealistic
0:44:49 > 0:44:53and naive to be preoccupied with civil liberties and disarmament,
0:44:53 > 0:44:55as some of our politicians are...
0:44:55 > 0:45:00- At a time...- ..when...- ..western civilization is confronted by the extremest of threats.
0:45:00 > 0:45:06- Yes!- My sentiments also. I'll have another little splash of this.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10I see you like to go around with a pink plastic bullwhip.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15PPBs are the new ACDs.
0:45:15 > 0:45:20We are ready to begin serving brunch now in the dining car, one car down.
0:45:20 > 0:45:23Between meals, you are welcome to come hang out here
0:45:23 > 0:45:27in the Vista Dome, but do me a favour, folks, do not try and use
0:45:27 > 0:45:30the caboose on the far side of the dining car.
0:45:30 > 0:45:35The caboose remains closed as of this time. Brunch!
0:45:43 > 0:45:46ROBOTIC BIRDSONG
0:45:46 > 0:45:49Morning, Cap'n. Whoa! Excuse me there.
0:45:51 > 0:45:55- What a beautiful morning! - It certainly is.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59It's the kind of morning which tempts one
0:45:59 > 0:46:01not to go inside that door.
0:46:01 > 0:46:05- Ignore the messages? - Pay no attention to the e-mails?
0:46:05 > 0:46:06And go fishing.
0:46:10 > 0:46:15Sherry from Manzanillo, Spain - a dry, refined taste
0:46:15 > 0:46:20to accompany the spectacular desert vistas we'll soon be enjoying.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:46:26 > 0:46:29MOBILE PHONES RING
0:46:33 > 0:46:37"El Monte. Heading east. Follow me."
0:46:38 > 0:46:42- I got the same text. - Me, too. I wonder who it's from.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45Pixxi's assistant.
0:46:50 > 0:46:56Mr Lorenzo, this trip in this magnificent antique train,
0:46:56 > 0:47:00all this fine food, et cetera -
0:47:00 > 0:47:04it's costing somebody a few extra bucks, I'd say.
0:47:04 > 0:47:09Our clients are very interested in your and the other dignitaries' support, Senator.
0:47:09 > 0:47:11Really.
0:47:11 > 0:47:15Yeah, but what do any of us know about pipelines, damn it?
0:47:15 > 0:47:19There may be other issues... you could help us with.
0:47:21 > 0:47:25You're a smart man, Lorenzo.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29I'm open for business any time.
0:47:29 > 0:47:31- HE BURPS - Senator.
0:47:38 > 0:47:46SHE SINGS IN A WARBLING VOICE
0:47:59 > 0:48:02Pixxi checks out.
0:48:02 > 0:48:05Society heiress on day release from county jail.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07Father owned most of the Valley,
0:48:07 > 0:48:11though he recently went bankrupt in some mysterious circumstances.
0:48:11 > 0:48:13What about the white rasta guy?
0:48:13 > 0:48:18Back-up singer, dancer, grandson of some Eurotrash royalty.
0:48:18 > 0:48:22- Any value as a US opinion-former? - Negatory.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26ROBOTIC BIRDSONG
0:48:31 > 0:48:33CASSETTE REWINDS
0:48:33 > 0:48:35HE WHISTLES
0:48:35 > 0:48:38- ANSWERPHONE:- 39 angry messages. First angry message.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41'Hello, Mr Gray?
0:48:41 > 0:48:43'I'm really sorry to bother you again,
0:48:43 > 0:48:45'but you're the only person I can think of who can help.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48'You remember the furniture we were storing in our car
0:48:48 > 0:48:51'after you repoed our house? Well, they just took the car away,
0:48:51 > 0:48:53'and I was wondering if there's any way you could find out
0:48:53 > 0:48:57'who got our car so I can go there and get our furniture back.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00'The other guy said you all burned that stuff when you had a feast
0:49:00 > 0:49:03'there in the Yard, but I said that didn't sound like you,
0:49:03 > 0:49:05'or like Mr Aguas.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08'Anyway, hope you're having a great day.
0:49:08 > 0:49:11'Thanks again for the 50 - Grandma really appreciated it.
0:49:11 > 0:49:12'And my number...'
0:49:12 > 0:49:14MACHINE BLEEPS
0:49:14 > 0:49:19Lord, for what we are about to receive, for what we have
0:49:19 > 0:49:26already received, and the wisdom to know the difference, thank you.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28- Amen.- Amen.- Amen.
0:49:28 > 0:49:32Mr Lorenzo, when can we expect to see this Energy Corridor of yours?
0:49:32 > 0:49:34I mean, here we are out in the desert and...
0:49:34 > 0:49:37Ah, the Arbogast Corridor, of course.
0:49:37 > 0:49:41You know, in the excitement, I forgot to mention it.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45Mr Lorenzo, you know, people worry about the silliest things.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48Aren't your sponsors concerned about the NIMBY factor?
0:49:48 > 0:49:49No, the law is the law.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52Those greens can quickly be put to other use...
0:49:52 > 0:49:53SHE KICKS HIM
0:49:53 > 0:49:57Greens? Is this political?
0:49:57 > 0:50:00May as well tell 'em.
0:50:00 > 0:50:02What?
0:50:02 > 0:50:03OK...
0:50:05 > 0:50:08There is another reason we invited you here.
0:50:08 > 0:50:09CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS
0:50:09 > 0:50:12Yes, Mr Lorenzo? And what would that be?
0:50:14 > 0:50:18The criminalisation...
0:50:18 > 0:50:19of golf.
0:50:20 > 0:50:22SHE LAUGHS
0:50:22 > 0:50:25- Golf?- Golf.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29- ANSWERPHONE:- 'The guys who took my car, Mr Custer,
0:50:29 > 0:50:32'evidently didn't know there was a box of kittens in the back.'
0:50:32 > 0:50:33MACHINE BLEEPS
0:50:33 > 0:50:36- PIXXI:- 'I'm on the train, and the sommelier is babbling
0:50:36 > 0:50:38'about golf! Call me back on Eggi's phone ASAP.
0:50:38 > 0:50:40'Aguas, Gray, Lola, what's up?
0:50:40 > 0:50:42'Where did you go? Fishing or something?'
0:50:42 > 0:50:44MACHINE BLEEPS
0:50:46 > 0:50:49Aguas!
0:50:49 > 0:50:50Lola!
0:51:02 > 0:51:07Golf courses are a waste of precious agricultural and public land.
0:51:07 > 0:51:10They squander billions of gallons of water annually, while spreading
0:51:10 > 0:51:14innumerable poisons and insecticides into the environment.
0:51:14 > 0:51:18- I enjoy a good game of golf. - Yo, me too. Two Strikes.
0:51:19 > 0:51:22In the Third World,
0:51:22 > 0:51:26golf courses mean death to small indigenous communities.
0:51:26 > 0:51:33I know that, as rational citizens and opinion-formers,
0:51:33 > 0:51:36that you will join with me in the urgent call
0:51:36 > 0:51:40to have golf made illegal, both at home and abroad.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42Larry, boy...
0:51:42 > 0:51:44you're kidding, right?
0:51:46 > 0:51:50Scripture is explicit in its advocation of golf.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52Revelations 6:13.
0:51:54 > 0:51:55PHONE RINGS
0:51:55 > 0:51:56Yo, Gray!
0:51:56 > 0:51:58Where the Dickens have you been?
0:52:00 > 0:52:04OK. You're on the train that's headed back to the Union Station.
0:52:04 > 0:52:06Got that. I'll be there. What time's it due?
0:52:08 > 0:52:11SQUEALING AND INTERFERENCE Oh!
0:52:11 > 0:52:13Pixxi!
0:52:13 > 0:52:15Pixxi! Hello?
0:52:18 > 0:52:21Sit down, back-up dancer!
0:52:21 > 0:52:23Ladies and gentlemen,
0:52:23 > 0:52:26since you have declined to join our righteous cause,
0:52:26 > 0:52:28I will be obliged to detain you.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30This will only be for a couple of hours,
0:52:30 > 0:52:33then you will be at liberty, if all goes well.
0:52:33 > 0:52:36- Cuff them, Giggli. - This is terrorism!
0:52:36 > 0:52:39If you believe that to seek much-needed political change
0:52:39 > 0:52:44by radical means is terrorism, then our nation is a terror state.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46- Nonsense.- Can it, Two Strikes.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50Now, each one of you has contributed in some way
0:52:50 > 0:52:52to the pernicious spread of golf.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56You, Senator Fletcher, have frequently sought to be photographed
0:52:56 > 0:53:01with golfing celebrities like Arnold Palmer and Tiger Woods.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04I... I...I had to. There was no alternative.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07You, Pastor Duncan, married 2,000
0:53:07 > 0:53:11Korean golfers in an on-course mass ceremony in Puchong.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13I don't recall.
0:53:13 > 0:53:18And you, Justice and Rikki Espinoza, built a complex of vacation homes
0:53:18 > 0:53:23at the golf resort of Boracay, with an 18-hole course that requires
0:53:23 > 0:53:27800,000 gallons of water a day
0:53:27 > 0:53:30on an island that has no water!
0:53:33 > 0:53:37Hey, hey, hey, you don't need to handcuff me. I hate golf.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39- You're just saying that. - No, I'm not.- Wait.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42She and her friends gave me a contribution
0:53:42 > 0:53:44when I was downtown collecting for the cause.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46That's right.
0:53:46 > 0:53:49I despise golf so much that when I was in high school,
0:53:49 > 0:53:51I used to get really high, go to the golf courses
0:53:51 > 0:53:55and throw lighters and matches on it just to set it on fire.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58- Don't trust her, Lorenzo, she's lying.- I'm not!
0:53:58 > 0:54:00OK, fine.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05- Show 'em, Marco.- Yeah, mon!
0:54:12 > 0:54:15What is MHGCI?
0:54:15 > 0:54:19- Malibu High Golf Course Incendiaries.- Hm!
0:54:32 > 0:54:34PHONE RINGS
0:54:34 > 0:54:36Hello.
0:54:37 > 0:54:38Found your train.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42OK, where is it?
0:54:42 > 0:54:45It's en route to a station in the Southland.
0:54:45 > 0:54:47I claim my million dollars.
0:54:47 > 0:54:51I see your current location is Wall Avenue and 112th Street
0:54:51 > 0:54:53in the city of Commerce.
0:54:53 > 0:54:58- Do you still have the train in sight?- Did I misspeak?
0:54:58 > 0:55:01Apologies, sir. Those million dollars, how about 'em?
0:55:01 > 0:55:06Now, see here, Mr Custer, this is a national security matter,
0:55:06 > 0:55:10and you're obliged to tell us all you know about that unit right now.
0:55:11 > 0:55:13Uh-huh.
0:55:13 > 0:55:18Why don't you kiss my sister's black cat's ass?
0:55:25 > 0:55:30Two calls from this vector in the last 48 minutes.
0:55:30 > 0:55:32the unit must be in this vicinity!
0:55:53 > 0:55:56Are you ready, Lorenzo?
0:55:57 > 0:56:03Five, four, three, two, one,
0:56:03 > 0:56:05and going live.
0:56:11 > 0:56:14'Do not attempt to adjust your television set.'
0:56:15 > 0:56:19We have taken control of all networks.
0:56:19 > 0:56:21We have disabled all remote controls.
0:56:21 > 0:56:25We instruct the president of the United States
0:56:25 > 0:56:28to close all golf courses
0:56:28 > 0:56:33and ban the corrupting practice of golf.
0:56:33 > 0:56:36We further instruct that he and his colleagues cease
0:56:36 > 0:56:39eating meat immediately.
0:56:39 > 0:56:45'If the president fails to do this, within the next hour,'
0:56:45 > 0:56:51the city of Los Angeles will entirely be destroyed.
0:56:51 > 0:56:52So there!
0:56:53 > 0:56:56I told you not to switch the channels.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00'Right now, we are aboard a train which, travelling at top speed,
0:57:00 > 0:57:04'will arrive at the Union Station in LA at 1900 hours.'
0:57:07 > 0:57:10We'd like to play a round or two, my friend.
0:57:12 > 0:57:18- Sign us up as temporary members. - I can't do that.
0:57:18 > 0:57:20Oh, come on, don't be a jerk.
0:57:20 > 0:57:23All we want to do is hit some balls around.
0:57:23 > 0:57:28The club is closed today, and we're not accepting temporary members.
0:57:28 > 0:57:33- Racist.- Sexist. - That really hurts me, guys.
0:57:33 > 0:57:37You haven't got a clue as to what's going on here.
0:57:37 > 0:57:41If any attempt is made to stop this train, we'll do the same.
0:57:44 > 0:57:45OK, wrap it up.
0:57:53 > 0:57:55You missed out on a whole bunch of stuff
0:57:55 > 0:57:57about the founding fathers and the freedom fighters!
0:57:57 > 0:57:59Nevada saved your ass.
0:57:59 > 0:58:02I couldn't concentrate. The Growler bombs.
0:58:02 > 0:58:03Growler bombs?
0:58:03 > 0:58:07You can't be serious. These things take time!
0:58:07 > 0:58:12Screw the long run, Senator! This will get resolved today!
0:58:12 > 0:58:16Why are we broadcasting out of the Caboose? It's hotter than hell.
0:58:16 > 0:58:20When you guys are done arguing, can I ask a question?
0:58:20 > 0:58:21We are not arguing!
0:58:21 > 0:58:24Don't ask them questions, Perky. You're provoking them.
0:58:24 > 0:58:30- I'm not!- Yes, you are. Stop it. - Fuck you, Rikki.
0:58:30 > 0:58:34Mr Lorenzo, you were only bluffing
0:58:34 > 0:58:36about blowing up this train, right?
0:58:47 > 0:58:50You're certain they have Growlers on board, Professor?
0:58:50 > 0:58:52As many as half a dozen.
0:58:52 > 0:58:56CIA assured us all those Growlers were accounted for.
0:58:56 > 0:59:01Except the ones in Mexico, which we now know are secreted on THAT train.
0:59:01 > 0:59:06We've run want ads for this missing train in all the repo media,
0:59:06 > 0:59:11made up old-style "wanted" posters offering a million dollars reward.
0:59:11 > 0:59:16You got the reward money authorised, right? Well?
0:59:17 > 0:59:22- Uh, you didn't, did you? - We're taking those crazies out.
0:59:22 > 0:59:26- Predator drone, sir?- Hello?
0:59:26 > 0:59:31Hey, this is the guy who just gave the ultimatum on TV.
0:59:31 > 0:59:35- You were watching, right?- Go ahead.
0:59:35 > 0:59:39Well, I just wanted to say that you're probably thinking,
0:59:39 > 0:59:42take out the train now with a Predator drone, right?
0:59:42 > 0:59:44'Do not try it.
0:59:44 > 0:59:46'Our Growlers are primed
0:59:46 > 0:59:50'and ready to detonate in the event of any attempt to stop us.'
0:59:51 > 0:59:54And in addition, we have five august dignitaries here
0:59:54 > 0:59:56as guarantors of our security.
0:59:57 > 0:59:59They are...
0:59:59 > 1:00:02Supreme Court Justice Fabio Espinoza.
1:00:02 > 1:00:08Rikki Espinoza, Emeritus Director of Minority Rights Watch.
1:00:08 > 1:00:13Sister Duncan, Universal Church of Life, City of Toil. Thank you!
1:00:13 > 1:00:17State Senator Fritz Fletcher, and I'd like to add my own...
1:00:19 > 1:00:23- Holla, I'm Pixxi. - Say your name properly.
1:00:24 > 1:00:30Pixxi De La Chasse Obando y Bravo, composer and performance artist.
1:00:30 > 1:00:35- And I be Marco. - You now know we are serious.
1:00:35 > 1:00:42- You have...30 minutes left. - Should we advise the president?
1:00:42 > 1:00:44President's in Mongolia right now, attending
1:00:44 > 1:00:47a meeting of non-aligned ethanol producers.
1:00:47 > 1:00:51- He'll be asleep, for sure.- The vice-president?- Also in Mongolia.
1:00:51 > 1:00:54Neither of them is gonna ban golf. Not in an election year.
1:00:54 > 1:00:57The Reaper drone it is, then.
1:00:57 > 1:00:59Fishing, I understand.
1:00:59 > 1:01:02It's relaxing, and sometimes you get a fish.
1:01:05 > 1:01:07But this?
1:01:08 > 1:01:12If this is what the upper echelons of society do to enjoy themselves,
1:01:12 > 1:01:15then the crisis is worse than I thought.
1:01:28 > 1:01:31- Marco, you battyman! Marco! - Boo Boo, shut up!
1:01:31 > 1:01:33No, I'm not gonna shut up!
1:01:33 > 1:01:36How dare this asshole not include me in his list of celebrity hostages?
1:01:36 > 1:01:38My godfather is Prince! Prince!
1:01:38 > 1:01:41I'm, like, the second biggest celebrity here!
1:01:41 > 1:01:45- Are not! - Marco, you battyman! Marco!
1:01:45 > 1:01:49Hey, Giggle. Hi. Your goal, and tell me
1:01:49 > 1:01:54if I'm wrong, is to abolish the golf courses, right?
1:01:55 > 1:01:57Yes!
1:01:57 > 1:02:02And to get the president and all his crew up there to go vegan.
1:02:02 > 1:02:06You seriously expect our president to become a vegetarian?
1:02:06 > 1:02:10Vegan. Yeah, and what do you call them, his, uh, his...
1:02:10 > 1:02:18- His staff?- His cabinets! This is about climate change, too, you see.
1:02:18 > 1:02:21I see.
1:02:22 > 1:02:25SHOUTING
1:02:25 > 1:02:28MACHINE GUN FIRE
1:02:28 > 1:02:33- Not my glasses! - Marco, Marco! Stop the train!
1:02:33 > 1:02:36My black sheep uncle, Giancarlo,
1:02:36 > 1:02:39used to be engineer on the Paris-Milano Express!
1:02:39 > 1:02:41- Many times, as a little boy... - Baby, baby, baby! Hurry!
1:02:41 > 1:02:44- Check!- Marco!
1:02:50 > 1:02:52Marco is the hottest boy in the world,
1:02:52 > 1:02:55and I am the hottest girl in the world.
1:03:08 > 1:03:12Coo-ee! Marco! Give us a smile!
1:03:15 > 1:03:17- This is Pixxi. - 'So, anyway...'
1:03:19 > 1:03:20Hello, Savage.
1:03:23 > 1:03:25Beautiful, baby!
1:03:28 > 1:03:31'Eggi ordered one of those 3D printers you like,
1:03:31 > 1:03:33'and it's coming on Tuesday!'
1:03:33 > 1:03:37- Why didn't she overnight it? - 'I don't know, Pix.'
1:03:37 > 1:03:42- Wait. This is Pixxi.- Allo, Pixxi, love! There is no engineer!
1:03:42 > 1:03:46Somebody be runnin' this train remotely. Maybe the Caboose!
1:03:48 > 1:03:50You guys! Just get with it!
1:04:29 > 1:04:35# We gather at the river
1:04:35 > 1:04:40# The beautiful, the beautiful river
1:04:40 > 1:04:50# Gather with the saints at the river that flows by the throne of God. #
1:05:02 > 1:05:05Sir, it may not be necessary to deploy the Predator drone.
1:05:05 > 1:05:09It may not be necessary to blah, blah, blah.
1:05:09 > 1:05:14Well, too bad for you, because we're gonna deploy the Predator drone!
1:05:14 > 1:05:16And maybe even the Reaper drone, too!
1:05:17 > 1:05:21I mean, what are you, some kind of Communist?
1:05:21 > 1:05:24Yes, sir, as it happens, I am a Communist.
1:05:24 > 1:05:27But I do not see how that's germane to this discussion.
1:05:27 > 1:05:31You better leave this experiment immediately, you Commie bastard.
1:05:33 > 1:05:40Colonel! Colonel! For the record, sir, I, too, am a Communist.
1:05:42 > 1:05:45- What?- So am I, sir. So are others here present.
1:05:45 > 1:05:49We've come a long way, Colonel, from the days when Communists were
1:05:49 > 1:05:53witch-hunted or denied a role in the military or homeland security.
1:05:53 > 1:05:57We Communists just believe in a different political system, sir,
1:05:57 > 1:06:00and in a more just society, whose cornerstone
1:06:00 > 1:06:04is a safe and reliable public transportation network.
1:06:04 > 1:06:07Plus free universal health care.
1:06:08 > 1:06:11OK, Commies. Shoot!
1:06:13 > 1:06:16Colonel, right now, this train is passing through the busiest
1:06:16 > 1:06:19rail transportation corridor in the West.
1:06:19 > 1:06:21Even one Growler blast will put the entire system
1:06:21 > 1:06:23out of operation indefinitely.
1:06:23 > 1:06:27Then comes the firestorm! Ja.
1:06:31 > 1:06:34PHONE RINGS
1:06:34 > 1:06:38Hello? They spoke to the president. Uh-huh.
1:06:39 > 1:06:41OK.
1:06:42 > 1:06:44No, no, that's not negotiable.
1:06:48 > 1:06:52OK, yeah. I'm just saying.
1:06:53 > 1:06:56Well, you tell him!
1:07:00 > 1:07:03The president said, OK, get this,
1:07:03 > 1:07:07he said he's very open to banning golf...
1:07:08 > 1:07:12- ..and that he personally is happy to go vegetarian immediately.- Wait! No!
1:07:12 > 1:07:16But he can't speak for the Senate or the House of Representatives.
1:07:16 > 1:07:19Wait! No! No! But...no. No way.
1:07:19 > 1:07:23Well, that's what I said, OK. I said, it has to be all of them.
1:07:23 > 1:07:26And he said he'll get the word out right away.
1:07:26 > 1:07:31- And is he going to call you back? - I guess so.
1:07:31 > 1:07:33Who were you talking to?
1:07:34 > 1:07:37I don't know! Now stop asking me questions,
1:07:37 > 1:07:40Lorenzo! You're freaking me out!
1:07:40 > 1:07:43- Do you want my hankie?- What? - Do you want my hankie?
1:07:43 > 1:07:45Is everything OK?
1:07:45 > 1:07:47Sure. Yeah.
1:07:48 > 1:07:51- What's wrong?- Nothing's wrong.
1:07:53 > 1:07:57I knew it would go like this!
1:07:57 > 1:08:02We agreed to insist the president go totally vegan.
1:08:02 > 1:08:05And it already got watered down.
1:08:05 > 1:08:10Vegetarian and vegan aren't the same!
1:08:12 > 1:08:18Solidarity, Giggli! We're dealing in the art of the practical here.
1:08:18 > 1:08:22- Do you want my hankie?- Thank you!
1:08:22 > 1:08:25PHONE RINGS
1:08:25 > 1:08:31Hello? OK.
1:08:31 > 1:08:36OK. OK.
1:08:41 > 1:08:44I don't know about that. What time?
1:08:45 > 1:08:47Let me get back to you.
1:08:57 > 1:09:00The president has agreed to everything.
1:09:02 > 1:09:08Enabling legislation to ban golf will be passed by midnight tonight.
1:09:08 > 1:09:10That's 9:00pm, our time.
1:09:10 > 1:09:13All meat products will be pulled from the Capitol Hill
1:09:13 > 1:09:14kitchens by that hour.
1:09:19 > 1:09:22I'll tell the Doc.
1:09:30 > 1:09:33- Hello.- 'Hello?
1:09:34 > 1:09:36- 'Anybody there?'- Who is this?
1:09:36 > 1:09:39'Those terrorists you were talking to,
1:09:39 > 1:09:41'they may not be able to stop this train
1:09:41 > 1:09:43'because the locomotive hasn't got a driver!'
1:09:43 > 1:09:46Listen, I need you to immediately deploy a huge, gigantic,
1:09:46 > 1:09:49airbag-type-thing between us and downtown!
1:09:49 > 1:09:51Is this an official communication from the terrorists?
1:09:51 > 1:09:53'No, you idiot.'
1:09:53 > 1:09:57It's Pixxi! Just do what I say!
1:09:57 > 1:09:59- Pixxi.- 'Hello?'
1:09:59 > 1:10:02Neither Amtrak nor Union Pacific possesses
1:10:02 > 1:10:05such a huge airbag technology that you suggest.
1:10:05 > 1:10:07Maybe we should, but we don't.
1:10:07 > 1:10:10However, Pixxi, there is still a chance.
1:10:10 > 1:10:14'Right now, the pirates are following the route of the Sunset Limited.
1:10:14 > 1:10:17'All lights and points are set in their favour all the way to downtown.'
1:10:17 > 1:10:19But if you could switch the points
1:10:19 > 1:10:24onto the old Mojave-Lancaster spur, LA can be saved!
1:10:24 > 1:10:26'That's a real chill notion,
1:10:26 > 1:10:29'but how would you like me to switch the points if I'm on the train?'
1:10:33 > 1:10:35PHONE RINGS
1:10:37 > 1:10:41- It's for you. - Thank you. It's Pixxi.
1:10:41 > 1:10:43Arizona Gray.
1:10:43 > 1:10:45Backing you up at the Union Station. Everything OK?
1:10:45 > 1:10:49- 'No, Gray, it's too late.' - It's never too late, Pixxi.
1:10:49 > 1:10:51No matter how large or complex the unit,
1:10:51 > 1:10:55no matter how long the odds, if there's a price, we can collect it!
1:10:55 > 1:11:00- 'Not in this instance.' - Pixxi, you must succeed.
1:11:00 > 1:11:04The example that you're setting to us all by doing so is critical.
1:11:04 > 1:11:07If you fail, mortgage defaults will continue to rise,
1:11:07 > 1:11:11forcing more repossessions, driving home prices down,
1:11:11 > 1:11:12causing more defaults.
1:11:12 > 1:11:17Bailouts will cease to save us. Bankers will stop making loans.
1:11:17 > 1:11:19Businesses will fail, leading to rising unemployment,
1:11:19 > 1:11:22zero credit, a worldwide recession,
1:11:22 > 1:11:25and, thus, the end of the repo trade.
1:11:27 > 1:11:29OK, well, Gray, if we're to achieve this,
1:11:29 > 1:11:32you have less than three minutes to get to Glendale,
1:11:32 > 1:11:35throw the switch from downtown to the old Lancaster-Mojave line.
1:11:35 > 1:11:38Three minutes? From the Union Station? That's impossible!
1:11:38 > 1:11:42- No, it's not. - Yes, it is.- Well, just do it anyway.
1:11:43 > 1:11:45Check.
1:12:01 > 1:12:05- And that's what the president said. - Doc, we're laughing.
1:12:05 > 1:12:09In future years, instead of golf courses, there'll be farms,
1:12:09 > 1:12:13allotments, parks named after us.
1:12:13 > 1:12:16You spoke to the president?
1:12:18 > 1:12:20No, no, it was all done via this guy.
1:12:20 > 1:12:23- You spoke to him, too, right? - Yeah, a military guy.
1:12:23 > 1:12:24He was on the level.
1:12:37 > 1:12:39Oh...
1:12:41 > 1:12:43Drat!
1:12:51 > 1:12:53May I ask who's calling?
1:12:54 > 1:13:00- Yo. Gray?- Miss Pixxi? - This be she. Who's this?
1:13:00 > 1:13:06Miss Pixxi, this is Rogers, your father's manservant.
1:13:06 > 1:13:09Rogers. What's up?
1:13:09 > 1:13:13Miss Pixxi, what an opportune surprise.
1:13:13 > 1:13:15I'm afraid your friend has suffered
1:13:15 > 1:13:20an attack of some kind, laying him low.
1:13:20 > 1:13:23Gray? Shit!
1:13:23 > 1:13:27It appears he was just about to pull this lever
1:13:27 > 1:13:31when his incapacitating stroke occurred.
1:13:31 > 1:13:35Are you trackside? Are you near that lever?
1:13:35 > 1:13:38I am adjacent to it.
1:13:38 > 1:13:41Rogers, I need you to pull that lever. Pull the lever!
1:13:41 > 1:13:44Miss Pixxi, I would love to be of service,
1:13:44 > 1:13:48but my first duty is to your family.
1:13:48 > 1:13:54Is there no way that you, your father,
1:13:54 > 1:13:58and your aunt cannot be reconciled?
1:13:58 > 1:14:02No. No way! Tell them to go to hell!
1:14:02 > 1:14:03I'm not talking to them.
1:14:05 > 1:14:07Then I cannot assist.
1:14:10 > 1:14:14All right, OK, OK. OK, Rogers.
1:14:14 > 1:14:17Pull that switch and put the swine on the phone.
1:14:29 > 1:14:32Hey, Pops, how's it hanging?
1:14:34 > 1:14:35It's Pixxi.
1:14:41 > 1:14:45Mmm-hmm, yeah, wow.
1:14:45 > 1:14:48Anyway, how's Grandma? Oh, that's terrible.
1:14:51 > 1:14:56This president's spokesman, what did he ask you to do?
1:14:56 > 1:14:58Nothing.
1:14:58 > 1:15:00Oh, just slow the train down and bring
1:15:00 > 1:15:02it into Union Station around 9:00pm
1:15:02 > 1:15:03instead of right away.
1:15:03 > 1:15:07Right, that's when they're going to announce the legislation.
1:15:09 > 1:15:14- Well, we're not headed for Union Station.- What do you mean?
1:15:14 > 1:15:19- What?- They've switched us to another track.
1:15:19 > 1:15:22We're on our way back to the desert.
1:15:25 > 1:15:27Oh, phooey.
1:15:42 > 1:15:46Nah.
1:15:46 > 1:15:48Oh, Nevada, why not?
1:15:49 > 1:15:52There's no point, really, in blowing up the desert,
1:15:52 > 1:15:56a place of rare beauty and an already endangered ecosystem.
1:15:56 > 1:15:58PHONE RINGS
1:15:59 > 1:16:04Yeah. They want to talk to our technical expert.
1:16:04 > 1:16:09- Hello?- Walter, is that you?
1:16:09 > 1:16:13Willy? It's been a long time.
1:16:13 > 1:16:16Are you still working for the Pentagon?
1:16:16 > 1:16:20Ja, ja, that's the general idea, Walter.
1:16:20 > 1:16:25Unlike you, always collaborating with the Axis of Evil.
1:16:25 > 1:16:33It is my disposition, ever since Papa took us to the slaughterhouse.
1:16:33 > 1:16:36'I've been on the side of the weak against the strong,'
1:16:36 > 1:16:42- especially against Nazi lickspittles like you, brother.- Liar. Liar!
1:16:42 > 1:16:44You were always a spoiled little brat,
1:16:44 > 1:16:48and now you will die as a result of your own egotistical schemes.
1:16:48 > 1:16:51- 'Ah, fuck you.'- No! No! Fuck you!
1:16:51 > 1:16:56In 30 seconds, my Predator drones, locked on that stupid
1:16:56 > 1:17:01broadcast antenna on your Caboose, will eradicate you!
1:17:01 > 1:17:06Oh, Willy, pathetic little Willy.
1:17:06 > 1:17:11It only takes me ten seconds to lower that antenna.
1:17:11 > 1:17:17- 'Your drones will miss their target.' - Liar! Fool!
1:17:17 > 1:17:20Idiot! You cannot escape me! You don't even exist!
1:17:20 > 1:17:24You're nothing but a tabletop experiment...
1:17:40 > 1:17:42How about dropping that antenna, Doc?
1:17:44 > 1:17:47Remote control deactivated.
1:17:49 > 1:17:52Here come the drones.
1:17:55 > 1:17:57THEY WHIMPER AND CRY
1:18:00 > 1:18:06- Gosh, Pixxi, you're so damn chill. - Thanks, Giggli.
1:18:06 > 1:18:08I mean, look at them, it's pathetic!
1:18:08 > 1:18:12And you're handling all of this so chilly.
1:18:12 > 1:18:16Well, you know, it's like the Book of Bushido says,
1:18:16 > 1:18:20by my friend the Dalai Lama. Always keep death in mind,
1:18:20 > 1:18:25- and you won't fail to be attentive to your employer or family duty.- Sick.
1:18:27 > 1:18:32- You know, I do regret one thing, though.- What, Pixxi?
1:18:32 > 1:18:35Not having my 3D printer.
1:18:35 > 1:18:39Since we're about to die...
1:18:41 > 1:18:42..shall we hold hands?
1:18:42 > 1:18:45Check, Chiquita.
1:18:49 > 1:18:51Thank you.
1:19:00 > 1:19:03And after the train entered the tunnel, it was easy.
1:19:03 > 1:19:09I was able to overpower my immediate captor and free the other hostages.
1:19:10 > 1:19:14All of whom rallied and came through at the eleventh hour.
1:19:14 > 1:19:17In a spirited Capoeira-based
1:19:17 > 1:19:20counterattack on our dispirited kidnappers.
1:19:20 > 1:19:24Who were no match for the ol' USA one-two!
1:19:24 > 1:19:27And that, my friends, was that.
1:19:27 > 1:19:29Praise the Lord!
1:19:29 > 1:19:33What happened to these weapons of mass destruction, the WMDs?
1:19:33 > 1:19:39ALL: All five backpack devices were safely accounted for and have
1:19:39 > 1:19:44been returned to the Centre for Advanced Deactivation at Los Alamos.
1:19:44 > 1:19:48What about the three terrorists?
1:19:48 > 1:19:51Were their human rights respected throughout this hectic process?
1:19:51 > 1:19:56Well, as Emeritus Secretary for Terrorist Rights Watch,
1:19:56 > 1:20:00let me give you an appropriate line of bullshit.
1:20:00 > 1:20:03Coo-ee!
1:20:03 > 1:20:06APPLAUSE
1:20:06 > 1:20:10Three terrorists? I thought it was four.
1:20:10 > 1:20:17The Mexican, those two cute little girls. No, there was only three.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22And six bombs. He said five.
1:20:22 > 1:20:24Wonder where Gray is?
1:20:29 > 1:20:31Who cares about Gray?
1:20:38 > 1:20:40Oh, Aguas...
1:21:02 > 1:21:06THEY SPEAK IN SPANISH
1:21:23 > 1:21:27Hey, Gray. Do you ever experience the feeling
1:21:27 > 1:21:32that you might just be a tiny little simulacrum
1:21:32 > 1:21:35or an avatar created by a mad scientist
1:21:35 > 1:21:38as part of a tabletop experiment?
1:21:39 > 1:21:41Sure, I have that feeling from time to time.
1:21:43 > 1:21:46And does that make a difference to you in your actions?
1:21:46 > 1:21:50- Wouldn't have it any other way. Ah, here comes the bus.- Check!
1:22:08 > 1:22:12# Guns, germs and steel
1:22:12 > 1:22:14# My kingdom for more horse power
1:22:14 > 1:22:19# Guns, germs and steel
1:22:19 > 1:22:23# My kingdom for more horse power
1:22:23 > 1:22:28# Sunset sets sail, plot a course for where the sun kisses the sea
1:22:30 > 1:22:37# For Francis Bacon, King and country, the Virginia Company
1:22:37 > 1:22:44# Fast-forward 400 years and I'm crying in my fear
1:22:46 > 1:22:52# Bacon's dystopia, rubber barons mortgage our future
1:22:52 > 1:22:55# It gets worse, this is not working
1:22:55 > 1:23:00# The rocker club is smashed
1:23:00 > 1:23:05# Three back loops, out of whack
1:23:05 > 1:23:10# Fat karma coming back But it jumped the tracks
1:23:19 > 1:23:27# Reading between the lies, limited liability packs a surprise
1:23:27 > 1:23:31# What comes around goes awry
1:23:31 > 1:23:34# A children's eye for an eye
1:23:36 > 1:23:39# By the Northstar, by heavens
1:23:39 > 1:23:45# Jamestown 2007, Shouldering the oil man's burden... #
1:23:45 > 1:23:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd