0:00:02 > 0:00:03Turn!
0:00:07 > 0:00:11Geez, look at me! And I thought my yearbook photo sucked.
0:00:11 > 0:00:16And that's me. Man, that dress does not look good on anybody!
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Turn!
0:00:18 > 0:00:20Turn? What if I don't want to turn?
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Who's going to turn me? You? Why don't you turn this?
0:00:24 > 0:00:28Something you should know - I have a little problem with authority.
0:00:28 > 0:00:34- Turn!- In second grade, I told our music teacher Mrs Florentine that if she wanted us to sing like birds,
0:00:34 > 0:00:36she should get some freakin' birds!
0:00:36 > 0:00:41I laughed so hard, I peed, then we had to sit facing the corner during recess.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44BOTH: We've been friends ever since.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46And that's Rachel.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48- Turn!- Sweet Rachel.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51The only nice one of the bunch of us.
0:00:51 > 0:00:56I feel so bad we dragged her into this, but we did it all for her. Really we did.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58That was the idea anyway.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- Maybe I'd better explain. - We're bridesmaids.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Not the good kind who love the bride like a sister
0:01:04 > 0:01:07and want to make her wedding the most special day ever. No.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10We're more like the avenging angels
0:01:10 > 0:01:13who are going to give you what's coming to you type of bridesmaids.
0:01:13 > 0:01:19You're coming in in the middle of things, so maybe I should back up a bit, say, 20 years?
0:01:19 > 0:01:22So you can meet the fourth member of our little sisterhood.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27'This is where she lived.
0:01:27 > 0:01:32'Still lives. It's such an amazing house, it has its own name - Bellefontaine.
0:01:33 > 0:01:38'Caitlyn McNabb lives here with her mother and occasional stepfather.
0:01:38 > 0:01:43'Oh, and servants, of course. You need servants when your house has its own zip code.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48Bellefontaine is French for "my house is so much nicer than your house will ever be"!
0:01:48 > 0:01:53'It's a good thing Caitlyn was an only child. She didn't do sharing very well.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56'She was much better at taking, but we didn't mind.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00'We were just little girls blinded by the magic of Bellefontaine.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05'Could you blame us? There were tea parties on the lawn with home-made biscuits.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07'And a secret staircase.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11'You got to it from inside of this huge wardrobe.
0:02:13 > 0:02:18- 'And it led all the way to the back yard.'- Coast's clear. Come on! - 'We felt so lucky to be there.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23'And when we didn't, Caitlyn would remind us how lucky we were to be there.'
0:02:23 > 0:02:27Eight, nine, ten. Ready or not, here I come!
0:02:27 > 0:02:31'So then we play our own little version of hide-and-seek.'
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Rachel! Abigail! Parker!
0:02:33 > 0:02:37'And we called it "I know a place where Caitlyn can't find us".
0:02:37 > 0:02:42'It was a pretty spot under a cherry tree, but then Rachel would feel guilty and we'd go back.'
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess...
0:02:45 > 0:02:48'And listen to Caitlyn talk about Caitlyn.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51'And make up stories... about Caitlyn.'
0:02:51 > 0:02:54..and lived happily ever after.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57'Her house, her rules, her ego.'
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Yoo-hoo, here I come!
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Wait. What's that?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- I'm the groom. - No, you're all bridesmaids.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- There has to be a groom. - No, it's my wedding. Mom!
0:03:19 > 0:03:24- Your dress looks really pretty.- Well, duh, of course it does! Mother!
0:03:24 > 0:03:29'There she is, like most normal nine-year-olds, wearing a wedding dress.
0:03:29 > 0:03:34'Right now, we're playing her favourite game - wedding. And we're losing.'
0:03:34 > 0:03:38- Aagh!- Honeybell, what? What are these girls doing to you?
0:03:38 > 0:03:43- They're not listening. - It's a wedding, Caitlyn. There has to be a groom.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46My! Don't you think a lot?
0:03:46 > 0:03:50- Doesn't there?- Yes, technically, dear, but it's not very important.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Here, let's use this chair.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Thank you, Abigail.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00There, isn't he handsome? And from a wealthy family, I understand.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- What a lovely bride! - Thank you, Mother.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Come on, let's get on with the wedding.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10GIGGLING
0:04:13 > 0:04:17'This was our life with Caitlyn, pretty much through high school.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22'She called the shots and we played the parts. Why?
0:04:22 > 0:04:26'It's a small town. You take what you can get
0:04:26 > 0:04:29'and in Lambert, Louisiana, we got Miss Caitlyn McNabb.
0:04:29 > 0:04:34'After college, my folks moved out west and Parker and I both headed for New York.
0:04:34 > 0:04:38'I got a book published. It sold OK, you know, for a first novel.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42'The second one is coming along. Slowly. Very slowly.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46'Meanwhile, Parker went the acting route.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48'She did a bunch of plays off Broadway.
0:04:48 > 0:04:52'Well, off...off...OFF Broadway!
0:04:52 > 0:04:58'I mean, she was good. But we always kept in touch with Rachel who never left Lambert.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02'She was going out with this guy Tony she was crazy about.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05'And that seemed to be enough for her from what I knew.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10'I don't get back home much. Parker goes back a lot. She actually likes her parents.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13'That's how we ended up in Lambert last week -
0:05:13 > 0:05:16'her parents' 30th anniversary and she dragged me along.
0:05:16 > 0:05:21'Parker's dad was taking her mom on a cruise she had always wanted,
0:05:21 > 0:05:27'but first, the mandatory party where every living relative can ask us why we aren't married or famous.'
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Parker does plays in New York all the time, don't you, dear?
0:05:30 > 0:05:34Oh, well, I, um... I audition all the time.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37'This is why I don't get back much.'
0:05:37 > 0:05:43Sometimes I get call-backs, which is sort of like a chance to audition again.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46She is constantly in plays and she is fabulous.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Well, she gets that from me.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51You've got to lie, tell 'em what they want to hear.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55How about you, Abby? Have you got another book coming out?
0:05:58 > 0:06:04Yes, she does. She has a huge book coming out, but she is sworn to secrecy by her publisher.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08- Oh...- You know, Mom, I'm going to go check my voicemail.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Oh, is it about an audition?- Maybe.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- Good luck!- Knock 'em dead!
0:06:15 > 0:06:21Great being home, isn't it? Surrounded by familiar faces that will never understand you!
0:06:21 > 0:06:25- Air, I need air.- You're outside. - Air without relatives.
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Oh, oh! Is that Parker Wald I see
0:06:29 > 0:06:33and Abigail, no, Abigail Scanlon?!
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- Oh, my God, it's Caitlyn. Run for your life.- I can't. I'm in heels.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Oh, my goodness, get over here!
0:06:40 > 0:06:42It has just been for ever.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Mother, Mother!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47You remember Parker and Abigail?
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Yes.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- Hey, Rach!- Rachel, hey!
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- Did you change your email? I've been trying to get hold of you.- Sorry.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06Oh, my goodness! Y'all don't even know why I'm here.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08These are my bridesmaids.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Yeah, I'm getting married!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- To a groom or a chair? - Oh, you and your little quips!
0:07:15 > 0:07:19The wedding is in ten days and I so wanted to invite y'all,
0:07:19 > 0:07:23but Mother said she couldn't find your addresses anywhere.
0:07:23 > 0:07:28- If you called Parker's parents... 30 years in the same house?- Mm-hm. - I'm sure they could have told you.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Oh, gosh! Of course. Mother!
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Goodness me! You're right.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- Next time, huh? - Let me introduce you to everyone.
0:07:38 > 0:07:43Rachel, you know, and these are my other super bridesmaids - Bitsy, Ashlie and Ashley.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45They're both really named "Ashley".
0:07:45 > 0:07:51- I spell it "ie" and she spells it "ey".- Some people get confused.- But not us. Right, Ash?- You got it, Ash.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- GIGGLING - Oh, my God!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Oh, look at that ring! Picture!
0:07:57 > 0:08:02Rachel, you're a bridesmaid. I so wish I could come to the wedding and meet Tony.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05- He's going to be there, right? - Uh...yes.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Oh, is that him?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I recognise him from your photo box. Nice, sister!
0:08:10 > 0:08:12There's our gorgeous groom!
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Oh, Tony Bear! We have been waiting for you!
0:08:17 > 0:08:22All right, bridesmaids, groomsmen, let's get this lunch moving.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Stop! Someone has a game he wants to catch at three!
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Aw!
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Excuse me for a moment.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- All right, y'all, let's go. - Oh, OK.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Gregory dear...- So good seeing y'all.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Close your mouths. Is Rachel an old friend of yours?
0:08:49 > 0:08:53And I'm guessing you haven't talked to her in a while?
0:08:53 > 0:09:00That's the Tony that Rachel went out with, although we can't officially acknowledge that ever happened.
0:09:00 > 0:09:04You're Henry Kent. You used to have big ears and a slutty sister.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08- I grew into my ears and I'll tell Carol you said "hi".- Thank you.
0:09:08 > 0:09:13- I don't remember you.- Really? We only had Bio together twice and I asked you to prom.
0:09:13 > 0:09:20- What?- No, I'm just kidding. I was two years older and I spent most of high school tripping over my ears.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22So you still live in Lambert?
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- Yes, I still live in Lambert. - Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29- Yeah, you did.- Yeah, you did. Let's find Rach.- See you around.- Bye.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Cute!- I know.
0:09:33 > 0:09:39- Now, you two just have to stay for the wedding.- We would love to, but I have this big audition.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43- And I have to re-curl my weave. - Listen to you!
0:09:43 > 0:09:49Y'all know you want to come to this wedding and Mother and I would just adore to have you. Mother!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Have a safe trip back!
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- Well, we would. Please think about it.- OK.- OK.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Just...let's go find Rachel.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03- SOBBING - Rach? Rachel!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- Rachel, honey, are you in there? - It's OK. I'm doing fine.
0:10:06 > 0:10:12- You have been dating Tony for ever. What happened?- Yeah, why the hell didn't you call us?
0:10:12 > 0:10:16- You'd have been mad and yelled at me. - You're damn right!
0:10:17 > 0:10:21- She stole him from you, didn't she? - No, Caitlyn's a good friend.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25- She asked me to be her bridesmaid. - And why did you say yes?
0:10:25 > 0:10:28- Because I was brought up well. - Oh, what are you going to do?
0:10:28 > 0:10:32I'll put on that ugly fuchsia dress and march in that bridal procession
0:10:32 > 0:10:37and show the whole world that I'm completely and totally over Tony Penning.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Oh, my God! STARTS SOBBING
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- That's an airtight plan(!) - LAUGHTER
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Holy smokes!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- What's wrong?- Um...you know what?
0:10:49 > 0:10:54Rachel just found out that she signed up for a phone plan that doesn't have texting.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Three years, no refund.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59- You should have asked me.- Yeah, Ashley knows all the phone plans.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03I do, but Ashlie knows where to find the best frozen yogurt anywhere.
0:11:03 > 0:11:10- So wait, let me get this straight. One of you guys fills in what the other one doesn't know?- Mm-hm.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12- That's pretty awesome. - THEY GIGGLE
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Can you believe Caitlyn?
0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Poor Rachel.- I know. - It's crazy.- Tell me about it.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Lou, I still need the big suitcase.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25That's why I'm getting it.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- What could Tony possibly see in Caitlyn?- Boobs. He's a guy.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32- It's a business transaction. - A business transaction?
0:11:32 > 0:11:38- I really shouldn't say anything. - Have some wine, Lou.- Did you hear something down at the bank?
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Daddy?
0:11:41 > 0:11:46Well, three months ago, Olivia put Bellefontaine up for sale.
0:11:46 > 0:11:52- What?- Olivia ran through a third husband's money and was having trouble finding number four.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56- Gold-digging is a young person's game.- And Tony's family, loaded.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00- A day after the engagement, Olivia took the place off the market.- Lou!
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Sex for money? I see traditional marriage is alive and well!
0:12:04 > 0:12:09- Poor Rachel. We should tell her. - Tell her a she-witch stole the love of her life? She knows that!
0:12:09 > 0:12:12But it's wrong, it's evil. We can't just drop it like...
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- PHONE RINGS - It's my agent. I've got to take it.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17Hello...? Oh, hey, Alice.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23The audition, I almost forgot about it! When do they want to see me?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Oh. OK, I see.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28Not even... OK.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Love you too.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32Good news?
0:12:32 > 0:12:37Not even a reading, nothing. The play was flawed. The female characters were underwritten.
0:12:37 > 0:12:43- It wasn't even worth my time.- You wanted it bad.- So much.- Here, babe, take this. I'll get more for me.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49'How was I supposed to know, silly? A girl's not a mind-reader!'
0:12:49 > 0:12:54- How could Rachel and Tony have mucked this up? They were perfect for each other.- You never met him.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59I'm highly intuitive. They were meant for each other and now Tony's marrying Caitlyn.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02Rachel will have her heart broken for ever.
0:13:02 > 0:13:063,000 years of watching romantic comedies and it's just one big lie!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08The couple stumbles around for two hours
0:13:08 > 0:13:13and five minutes before the end, they realise they're meant to be together.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16That is not how life works. Action movies have it right.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20- You hate action movies. - I hate them because they're right.
0:13:20 > 0:13:25In action movies, a psychopath takes 25 sweet people hostage and he'll kill them all, then Bruce Willis...
0:13:25 > 0:13:31- Or Denzel.- Also good. Puts together an elite SWAT team of Navy SEALs and they do what has to be done.
0:13:31 > 0:13:37They wipe out the henchmen, the psychopath dies a spectacular death and the sweet people go free.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41That's what you need to make love work - a ruthless SWAT team with guns.
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- Gavin hasn't called?- No, he went to LA with his cute scene partner
0:13:45 > 0:13:48that he swears he's not sleeping with. Ha!
0:13:48 > 0:13:53- You should not date actors.- Who else do I meet?- You met that cute guy Henry and he liked you.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55No, he did not like me.
0:13:55 > 0:14:00OK, yeah, he did like me, but he is a trap. There's 300 of 'em in every home town.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03A nice, regular guy, unpretentious.
0:14:03 > 0:14:08You go out on one date and you wake up ten years later with six kids, a fat ass and ugly, pink sweatpants.
0:14:08 > 0:14:13You like him! You really, really like him!
0:14:13 > 0:14:15- I do, do not! - What will you do when he calls?
0:14:15 > 0:14:20Nice guys don't call me. Just selfish actors who screw their scene partners!
0:14:20 > 0:14:26- What will we do about Rachel?- I say get a SWAT team and break up Caitlyn and Tony.- OK, no more wine for you.
0:14:26 > 0:14:32No, I'm serious. That's what Will Smith, Matt Damon or any of those hot action guys would have done.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35We sneak into the compound, we bust stuff the hell up!
0:14:35 > 0:14:38What will we do? Disguise ourselves as German officers?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Exactly.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43All right, what the hell are you talking about?
0:14:43 > 0:14:48I'm saying we wear the uniform of the enemy - bridesmaids.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- She already has her bridesmaids. - Two of them have a little accident.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56If anyone deserves to be knocked down a couple of pegs, it's Caitlyn.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01Rachel had one thing she loved in life and Caitlyn took it. Are you going to let her get away with that?
0:15:01 > 0:15:06Do you really think we could take down Caitlyn and stop this wedding?
0:15:06 > 0:15:12We can do anything because we are sophisticated babes from New York or as Miss Olivia would put it,
0:15:12 > 0:15:15"You girls are just a little too thinky."
0:15:15 > 0:15:17All right, I'm starting to like it.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Caitlyn is going down.- Yes!
0:15:20 > 0:15:25- The thinky girls are back.- Yes. - To love.- To Rachel. - To the defeat of the Third Reich!
0:15:35 > 0:15:40Hmm! Girls, you are so right. This is the best frozen yogurt in all of Lambert.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Told you.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Aren't you glad you called us?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47So glad.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50We owe you, Ashleys. We really owe them.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Yeah, but what can we give them that they don't have?
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Hmm...
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Well, how is it going up at the house?
0:15:59 > 0:16:02Are you guys getting along with Olivia?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04- It's OK.- Yeah, not so bad.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Ashleys, come on. We're yogurt pals now. Share.
0:16:08 > 0:16:14We can't do anything right. She's always on our case and she treats us like we're big dopes.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17Can you believe that?
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- This is how we can help them. - You mean our secret Olivia tip?
0:16:21 > 0:16:24You're right. Yeah, she always liked us.
0:16:24 > 0:16:30- Really?- You have to understand. Olivia is under a lot of pressure right now with the wedding.- Uh-huh.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Is she drinking?- Yes, constantly.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- That's what happens.- When she's drinking, tell her to slow down.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Like in front of everybody?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41That's the only way it works.
0:16:42 > 0:16:46What we used to do is count her drinks, then we'd let her know.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51- She'd always thank us in the morning.- We could do that.- Yeah. - Do it. You'll be golden.
0:16:51 > 0:16:56- How's the frozen yogurt? - It's really cold. If I eat it too fast, my brain freezes.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59How can you tell?
0:17:01 > 0:17:05- The trap is set.- Their poor frozen brains never stood a chance.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09You pick up a few skills in the big city, how the world works.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Oh, my God, they're towing my mom's car! No! Hey!
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Hey, what are you doing?
0:17:16 > 0:17:20- Where did that come from?- It's been up there for about three years.
0:17:20 > 0:17:26Well, we didn't know because we don't live here any more. We live in New York City.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Hey, Dougie.
0:17:31 > 0:17:37- How's it goin'?- Livin' the dream, Henry. How about you?- I'm good. Can you give me a sec?
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- There's your boy.- OK. - INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION
0:17:44 > 0:17:50My mistake. It turns out you can park here if you're back in town for your parents' anniversary.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- So cute.- OK.- I mean...
0:17:54 > 0:17:56So cute!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- Hey.- Hi.
0:18:05 > 0:18:11I think I lost something somewhere. I'm going to go...look for it in case I did.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13I like your friend.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16How did you do that?
0:18:16 > 0:18:21I pulled a thorn out of his paw a few years back or I'm a cop and he owes me a favour.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22You're a cop?!
0:18:22 > 0:18:26Wow, that sounded awful. I'm... Let me try that again.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30So you're in law enforcement? That sounds like very important work.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33That wasn't much better either.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35I like seeing you rattled. It's cute.
0:18:36 > 0:18:42- So, listen, Parker... - Look, I think you're really nice and I so appreciate what you just did.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- But it wouldn't be smart for us... - Take it easy. Nobody's asking anybody out.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Just be sure you read all of our small town parking signs
0:18:50 > 0:18:53and have yourself a safe trip back to the big city.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55OK?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59That's it?
0:19:01 > 0:19:07My mother's great-grandfather built Bellefontaine with his own two hands.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12Mr Woodward, it would be such an honour to have it grace the cover of your magazine.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16I'm just writing the article. I can't guarantee you a cover.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19There are no weight restrictions on the brides you feature.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22That gown took all the lace in England that year.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25That's the Governor's niece.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28She has a lovely complexion. Hmm!
0:19:29 > 0:19:36Hmm, did you know, Mr Woodward, that all the bridesmaids are living at Bellefontaine up until the wedding?
0:19:36 > 0:19:41And staying at such a magnificent home, why, it's like living in a fairyland!
0:19:41 > 0:19:43THEY GIGGLE
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Now you. - Oh, yes.
0:19:46 > 0:19:51You know all the girls are staying right here at Bellefontaine up until the wedding?
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- I said that part. - And, um...
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- Snow globe. - Yes.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03This home is so beautiful. It's like an idyllic scene in a snow globe.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Oh, that is so sweet of you to say!
0:20:06 > 0:20:09- More sherry, anyone? - Yes, precious, I believe I will.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12Number three.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Pardon? - That's your third glass of sherry.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18It's her fourth. She had a little nip in the kitchen.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20But I think that was Scotch.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- What are you doing?- Helping.
0:20:23 > 0:20:28You're under a lot of pressure and we don't want you to get hammered like Wednesday night.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32- When you fell in the duck pond. - And told the gardener your hedge needed trimming.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37- So we'll be counting your drinks every day.- And night when you really go to town.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41How thoughtful of you(!)
0:20:41 > 0:20:44CAITLYN LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:20:46 > 0:20:49I think those girls gave us bad advice.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51Boy, I think you're right.
0:21:06 > 0:21:11Well, apparently, some of Caitlyn's old rivals were pulling some silly sorority stunt.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Thank you, Mr Woodward. I knew you'd understand.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18So we'll see you and your photographer tomorrow morning.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Wonderful. OK. Bye now.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25Oh, Momma, fantastic news! Abby and Parker have changed their plans.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30Because of me, they're going to stay in town for the wedding. Isn't that just the best?
0:21:30 > 0:21:35- Hmm.- We'll sit in the back. We'll not make a peep. - We don't need to be in the photos.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- It's not like we're bridesmaids or anything.- Oh, gosh!
0:21:38 > 0:21:42Light bulb! What if you were bridesmaids?
0:21:42 > 0:21:46- No...- It would...- Yes! - It would be a dream come true.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- Yeah.- Caitlyn, may I have a word with you?
0:21:56 > 0:22:02- They are not bridesmaid material. - Mom, it's OK.- Listen.- It's my wedding and I want my bridesmaids.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- Momma has something to say.- Yes.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Um...
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Mother?
0:22:10 > 0:22:13We would be honoured if you would...
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Oh, for God's sakes! You're my new bridesmaids!
0:22:19 > 0:22:21- No way?- Yes!
0:22:21 > 0:22:25THEY SHOUT EXCITEDLY
0:22:26 > 0:22:28OK, here we are.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32God, cherubs?!
0:22:32 > 0:22:37There's something I've learned in life. You can never have too many cherubs.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41All right, Sarge, we're behind enemy lines. What's next?
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- Why are you asking me? - You're the plotter.
0:22:44 > 0:22:49Didn't Publishers Weekly call you inventive? "Abigail Scanlon is in full command of her narrative."
0:22:49 > 0:22:54I will give you that one. All right, break up the couple, break up the wedding couple...
0:22:54 > 0:22:58Oh, I got it! You sleep with the groom.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02Yeah, we help our friend Rachel by ME sleeping with the love of her life(!)
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Hey, I never said there wouldn't be any casualties.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Oh! You sleep with Caitlyn.
0:23:08 > 0:23:13- Why do all of your plans have me sleeping with someone? Is this how you see me?- A little bit.
0:23:13 > 0:23:19If Tony is like most guys, me and Caitlyn in bed together will not be a deal-breaker. Where's Rachel?
0:23:19 > 0:23:24- Probably in the "ha-ha, stole your boyfriend" room!- No, she's in the Persimmon Room.- How do you know?
0:23:24 > 0:23:28It's here under "room assignments" in The Bridesmaids' News.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33Of course. An in-home published newspaper about your very own wedding.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37Guess who made the cover? Caitlyn! I think we're over-thinking this.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Let's just get Rachel and Tony back together.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44We can fix her up a bit, boost her confidence and throw them in a room together.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49They were cooking before. Turn up the flame, then I do not have to sleep with anyone.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Are you OK with that? Oh, behold, the Persimmon Room.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Rachel!
0:23:55 > 0:23:59What are you guys doing here? How did you get in?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- We're the new bridesmaids. - Really? Does Olivia know?
0:24:02 > 0:24:06Yes, she does. Is there something wrong with your room, girls?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09No, I just wanted to check out the Persimmon Room.
0:24:09 > 0:24:14- It's clearly stated in the newsletter that lights out is 11pm.- A curfew?
0:24:14 > 0:24:18- Are you kidding me? - By which she means "yes, ma'am".
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Good night then, Rachel.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24- Good night.- Good night.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- So it's off to bed.- Mm-hm.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31I know why you're here. I know exactly what you are planning.
0:24:31 > 0:24:37- You think being a bridesmaid is a little game. You're here to laugh at our expense.- No.
0:24:37 > 0:24:44- We take what we're doing here very seriously.- Yeah, like, um... Like we're on a mission or something.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46This wedding is in eight days.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51I expect you to honour the sacred trust that Caitlyn has bestowed upon you.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54We do understand each other, don't we?
0:24:54 > 0:24:58- Yeah.- Good. Well, I'm glad we've had this little talk.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Now you two girls get to bed.
0:25:00 > 0:25:04You need your beauty sleep. Especially you, Abigail.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07No, no, no. Hold it right there.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20DOOR OPENS, CAITLYN SINGS CHEERILY
0:25:20 > 0:25:24Rise and shine, sleepy heads! Extra, extra, read all about it!
0:25:24 > 0:25:31Y'all have made the front page. Look, "old pals join bridal fun - Caitlyn tickled pink".
0:25:31 > 0:25:37Breakfast is in half an hour on the east porch, then at eight o'clock, it is time to turn on the charm
0:25:37 > 0:25:42because Wedding Belles Of The South magazine will be here for interviews and photos. Then at 11, get ready!
0:25:42 > 0:25:45MIMICS DRUMROLL
0:25:45 > 0:25:51Your first dress fitting! There's so much more after that. Y'all need to get moving. Let's go! Bye!
0:25:52 > 0:25:56If she keeps this up, this is going to need an obituary page.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Well, being selected as Caitlyn's maid of honour is so completely the most important thing
0:26:05 > 0:26:08that has ever happened in my entire...
0:26:09 > 0:26:10..life!
0:26:11 > 0:26:15I'm sorry. It's ever since we were freshmen rushes at Gamma Kappa...
0:26:18 > 0:26:22..Caitlyn and I have been like sisters. More than sisters.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25We're like two big halves of one big Siamese twin.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30The funny thing is, she's happier than we are.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34- Good morning, ladies.- Hey!- Oh, OK.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39OK, girls! The better the interviews, the more likely we are to get the cover.
0:26:39 > 0:26:43- I hope you're thinking of colourful anecdotes.- That's what we're doing.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46I tried a couple of jokes on the butler. Freakin' killed!
0:26:46 > 0:26:51Oh, Abigail, you are just a regular old Dane Cook sometimes.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55But seriously, when it's your turn to be interviewed, no frowny faces,
0:26:55 > 0:26:58no sassy attitude and remember, you are the bridal support.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02- And none of that other thing you do! - You mean sarcasm?
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- None of that.- I could never be sarcastic with you.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07- Thank you.- Here we are, ladies.
0:27:07 > 0:27:12Eggs Benedict with a rasher of Applewood smoked bacon for Miss Parker
0:27:12 > 0:27:17and for Miss Abigail, spelt toast, dry, and soy bacon bits.
0:27:17 > 0:27:19Did somebody eat it already?
0:27:19 > 0:27:26I'll take care of this. Abigail, our bridesmaids' dresses aren't going to impress in the plus sizes
0:27:26 > 0:27:29and with a little work, you could lose ten pounds this week.
0:27:29 > 0:27:35- If you cut off my leg!- It's not just diet. We're bringing in a personal trainer for you. And trust me.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38She is a miracle worker.
0:27:38 > 0:27:43- I need a miracle?- You don't want to hear this, but this is the best Eggs Benedict I've ever had!
0:27:43 > 0:27:48We've been best friends since kindergarten - Abigail, Parker and Caitlyn.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54We used to play wedding right there on that lawn.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- And now it's a real wedding. - Yes, it is.
0:27:56 > 0:28:02When you see Caitlyn and Tony together, bride and groom, how does that make you feel?
0:28:03 > 0:28:04Um...
0:28:13 > 0:28:15I'm so sorry.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20What a sweet, dear friend she is!
0:28:20 > 0:28:22- Rachel!- Rach!- Rachel!
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Rach!
0:28:24 > 0:28:29They used to run after each other like that when they were children. Such memories!
0:28:29 > 0:28:31- Rach!- Rachel! Rachel!
0:28:31 > 0:28:34- SOBBING - Rachel!- Rachel!
0:28:34 > 0:28:37- Slow down!- Rachel!
0:28:38 > 0:28:40- Rachel!- Rach!
0:28:43 > 0:28:44Rach!
0:28:44 > 0:28:48How are those Eggs Benedict treating you right now, huh?
0:28:48 > 0:28:53I figured they'd ask me about Caitlyn, but I did not think they would ask me about Tony.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57- It's going to be OK. We're going to fix everything.- Excuse me!
0:28:57 > 0:29:00We're trying to have a conversation. Can you wrap it up?
0:29:00 > 0:29:04Thank you. You're a prince.
0:29:04 > 0:29:09- What do you mean, you'll fix everything?- That's why the Ashleys are gone.- You did that?- Yes.
0:29:09 > 0:29:14- We'll help you get Tony back, so spruce it on up, girl!- He'll fall in love with you all over again.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16- No, he can't.- Yes, he can.
0:29:16 > 0:29:21- They have to get married.- Whose side are you on?- It's a secret. I'm not supposed to tell anyone.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23- Spill it.- Caitlyn's pregnant.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25What?
0:29:25 > 0:29:27And it's Tony's.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30So they have to get married.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33That sweet little baby cannot grow up without a daddy.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39It always felt weird with me and Tony's family.
0:29:39 > 0:29:44They think anybody who isn't rich like them is a gold-digger, but that isn't me.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47- We know, honey. - They made me feel so uncomfortable.
0:29:47 > 0:29:52Then one day, Tony made this joke about how I liked their big sail boat and I lost it.
0:29:52 > 0:29:56I said, "If that's what you think I am, we should break up right now."
0:29:56 > 0:29:59I didn't mean it. I was just upset and mad.
0:29:59 > 0:30:05When I finally got the nerve to call and say I was sorry, somebody else had swooped in and grabbed him.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Let me guess - our lifelong friend Caitlyn.
0:30:08 > 0:30:14- Yeah, she threw herself at him. - Under him more likely!- He only slept with her once, but that was enough.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16- Mm-hm.- Yeah, just like my mom always said.
0:30:16 > 0:30:22- How do you know she was pregnant? - She told me. She said she went to Dr Wallach. They did a test - baby.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25So now they have to get married.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27Tony's doing the right thing.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30He always does the right thing.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Except playing that game of happy-slappy with Caitlyn!
0:30:33 > 0:30:37Promise me you will not break up this wedding. Promise?
0:30:37 > 0:30:40- Fine.- All right, we promise.
0:30:43 > 0:30:47You know what, that gold-digger is pregnant and it's a shotgun wedding?
0:30:47 > 0:30:50This marriage gets more traditional all the time!
0:30:50 > 0:30:52What are we going to do?
0:30:55 > 0:31:01Caitlyn, if I'm going to stage this, we need the groom and his groomsmen.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04Your mother never kept her husbands for very long,
0:31:04 > 0:31:08but she knew how to get them to show up on time for all their rehearsals.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10Thank you, Charlotte. SIREN WAILS
0:31:20 > 0:31:22Got your groom, ma'am.
0:31:23 > 0:31:27Sorry we're late. Four guys trying on tuxes, you can't pull them away.
0:31:38 > 0:31:44Settle down. Now, first thing, we need to match our groomsmen with our bridesmaids for the processional.
0:31:44 > 0:31:48We'll do this by height because this day is all about aesthetics.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54OK...
0:31:54 > 0:31:56Hi.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00You had me at "hello".
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Oh, um...
0:32:02 > 0:32:04I didn't say "hello".
0:32:04 > 0:32:08- Gary, in heels, she's going to be a lot taller.- Yeah, Gary, he's right.
0:32:08 > 0:32:13I think I'm the girl for you. Plus, I'm just dazzled by a guy that can rock plaid, so...
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Hmm.
0:32:16 > 0:32:21I'm kind of surprised to see you two here instead of Team Ashley.
0:32:21 > 0:32:25They had to present a big paper at MIT and Caitlyn asked us to fill in.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28You do know that I'm a detective for a living?
0:32:28 > 0:32:32Then I'm not answering any more questions without a lawyer.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34- Even if I invite you to dinner? - I can't.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38We're on lockdown here. No dinners out, no men upstairs.
0:32:38 > 0:32:44Too bad. I'm just trying to get a little background on the woman I'm walking down the aisle with.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48New York actress.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51Gone next Monday.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54BELL RINGS You two, let's go!
0:32:54 > 0:32:58Plenty of time to hit on her when you're tanked at the reception.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02Thank you.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06Oh, dear. I don't know.
0:33:06 > 0:33:12Livvy, the dress was made for one of those shapely Ashley girls you discarded.
0:33:12 > 0:33:16This bony child has no rump at all. Where's your bottom, dear?
0:33:16 > 0:33:21Charlotte, this girl is as good as we can get. We're just going to have to soldier on.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24Pin, my dear, till your hands bleed.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26Uh...hey!
0:33:26 > 0:33:29Excuse me. I don't think this dress fits anybody.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32- Oh, a woman built to bear children. - Excuse me?
0:33:32 > 0:33:38If only we could transplant some of your womanly abundance to the one built like a little boy.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41A boy? Have you not seen these babies?
0:33:41 > 0:33:44She's going to lose ten pounds by the wedding.
0:33:44 > 0:33:49- Why don't you try to alter the dresses instead of the bridesmaids? - Abigail, dear Abigail!
0:33:49 > 0:33:53You'll be standing in front of hundreds of people next Saturday.
0:33:53 > 0:33:58You don't want them recalling that hateful nickname they had for you. What was it again?
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Flabigail!
0:34:02 > 0:34:04Young people can be so cruel.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09SHE SIGHS
0:34:25 > 0:34:27Soup?
0:34:27 > 0:34:29Are you frickin' kidding me?
0:34:29 > 0:34:31I figured I'd find you down here.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33They moved everything.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Everything!
0:34:35 > 0:34:39This cabinet? This cabinet used to be full of cookies. Always.
0:34:39 > 0:34:44Even the Little Debbie cakes with the pink wrapper. I could count on it.
0:34:44 > 0:34:49Now she's starving me for 24 hours and what does she give me in my happy cabinet?
0:34:49 > 0:34:51A frickin' can of tomato soup!
0:34:51 > 0:34:53You know what?
0:34:54 > 0:34:57Fine!
0:35:00 > 0:35:02Hmm...
0:35:03 > 0:35:05It's not that bad.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08- I can buy you a round?- No.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14Flabigail...
0:35:15 > 0:35:21- She really put the knife in on that one.- Pull it right back out. She was just trying to get to you.
0:35:21 > 0:35:27- One word and that sad 12-year-old girl was back.- Now you're beautiful and a successful New York writer.
0:35:27 > 0:35:34Who's hitting her head up against a wall because she has not one idea for her second novel. Nothing.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36I'm blocked. I'm spent.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40I am a has-been after one book!
0:35:40 > 0:35:44- Cold spaghetti?- Give it to me!
0:35:44 > 0:35:47- Hmm...- Mm-hm?- Uh-uh.
0:35:47 > 0:35:52Remember when we used to sneak down that secret passageway and make snacks for movie night?
0:35:52 > 0:35:56Always the same snacks, right? It was s'mores and pink lemonade.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- And always the same movie. - An Officer And A Gentleman!
0:35:59 > 0:36:04For two years, that's the only movie Caitlyn would ever let us watch.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07Oh, my God, that's it!
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Caitlyn's not pregnant. Ready?
0:36:09 > 0:36:16Officer And A Gentleman, Lisa Eilbacher pretended to be pregnant so that David Keith would marry her.
0:36:16 > 0:36:20Caitlyn is Lisa Eilbacher. It's so obvious.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23She went to Dr Wallach. She got a test.
0:36:23 > 0:36:25I don't think she did. I think Caitlyn is lying.
0:36:25 > 0:36:30- You might need a little proof. - I'll get you some proof, Miss Sceptical No Butt!
0:36:30 > 0:36:35We move at dawn. Let's get going. We need our sleep. Let's go. And I need my spaghetti.
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Oh, yeah!
0:36:39 > 0:36:40Oh!
0:36:43 > 0:36:47Well, good morning, bridesmaids. What are you ladies up to?
0:36:47 > 0:36:52- We were just going to go into town. - Yeah, I need to run an errand.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56- Miss Olivia doesn't like people doing their own thing.- I need tampons.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59Well, have a good day.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Bye!
0:37:09 > 0:37:11Hi. How are you?
0:37:11 > 0:37:13Come on.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22Hi. We're here from, uh...
0:37:22 > 0:37:25- Filex Cabinets.- Uh-huh.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28Yes, you obviously got the recall notice.
0:37:28 > 0:37:33- The what?- The recall notice, sweetheart. Don't you read the news?
0:37:33 > 0:37:38A lot of our filing cabinets have been collapsing. The titanium brackets have too much alloy.
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Yeah, way too much!
0:37:40 > 0:37:44- These cabinets were purchased after 1970?- I started here in June.
0:37:45 > 0:37:48Then we need to check those, don't we?
0:37:50 > 0:37:53- DOOR BUZZES - OK.
0:37:53 > 0:37:58- I'm going to pick a file at random. - How about M?- M, middle letter. Very wise.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02- But...- Oh, my God, those glasses are so cute!- Thank you.
0:38:02 > 0:38:07- They must have been really expensive.- No, I bought them online - 20 dollars.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Get out of here!
0:38:09 > 0:38:12Would it be OK if I tried them on?
0:38:12 > 0:38:13Oh...
0:38:14 > 0:38:15Thanks.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Oh, wow, they're so comfy! How do I look?
0:38:21 > 0:38:25Blurry. I can't see a thing without my glasses!
0:38:25 > 0:38:27Have you ever tried contacts
0:38:27 > 0:38:30because, you know, your eyes are really pretty?
0:38:30 > 0:38:34Oh, I did, but don't they hurt?
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Beauty is pain, girlfriend!
0:38:36 > 0:38:38Oh, she's pregnant!
0:38:39 > 0:38:45That's just an expression that we use to mean that this cabinet is crazy full and it's about to go,
0:38:45 > 0:38:49- so we need to get that report in right away.- Absolutely.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52- Here are your glasses.- Thank you.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Stay clear of those.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02THEY LAUGH
0:39:05 > 0:39:10Lab report with urine test - McNabb, comma Caitlyn, bun in oven.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12What about Officer And A Gentleman?
0:39:12 > 0:39:16Just like every other romantic movie, OK? It let us down.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23ALL: Hmm!
0:39:23 > 0:39:26That was the orange ginger.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32Bitsy, don't copy off me!
0:39:32 > 0:39:34I wasn't!
0:39:34 > 0:39:36Girls, do I have to separate you two?
0:39:36 > 0:39:40This next one is red velvet. Very daring for a wedding.
0:39:42 > 0:39:46- What do you think, honey? - It's really good. I like it.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49Men! Put food in their mouths and that's all they need.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52Not all. At least not in my experience.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Which is no doubt extensive.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58You like it? Sweetheart, that's what you said about the last three.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01I like cake. All cake.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Cake and me, we just get along.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06Tony Bear...
0:40:06 > 0:40:10Participate! Come on, we need an opinion from the groom.
0:40:17 > 0:40:21Look, Caitlyn, I'm doing what everybody wants here. It's just cake.
0:40:23 > 0:40:28- Yes, you do like milk with your cake. Why don't you go get some milk, hmm?- I think I will.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32He's just getting some milk.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38Well, if he's going to have milk, I think we should all have a sherry.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Hmm.
0:40:44 > 0:40:46Oh! Uh...
0:40:46 > 0:40:48Sorry. Bye.
0:40:48 > 0:40:49Rach!
0:40:49 > 0:40:51Don't go.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58It's OK. We can be in the same room together.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02No, I don't think we can.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Do you hate me that much?
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Is that what you think?
0:41:07 > 0:41:10I'm trying not to think any more.
0:41:10 > 0:41:13Just doing what I have to do.
0:41:15 > 0:41:20One stupid mistake and I'm going to be paying for it for the rest of my life.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27I miss you.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29So much.
0:41:31 > 0:41:32And...
0:41:32 > 0:41:37- I'm the one who messed this up. And I wish I could go back, but it's too late.- Rachel...
0:41:40 > 0:41:42I love you.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46- I always will. - I love you, too.
0:41:46 > 0:41:50There's not much we can do about it, though.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53It's just nice to know.
0:41:53 > 0:41:58< Tony Bear! This carrot cake is to die for!
0:42:09 > 0:42:13And then we both said we still love each other.
0:42:13 > 0:42:19- I haven't been this happy in months. Isn't it wonderful? - No, it's not wonderful.
0:42:19 > 0:42:24It's the opposite of wonderful. He's marrying someone else. Caitlyn McNabb!
0:42:24 > 0:42:27The great biotch of biotches!
0:42:27 > 0:42:33Hey, Parker, there's some little kids playing outside. Go tell them they're all going to die some day.
0:42:34 > 0:42:38What are we doing here? Seriously? We're miserable.
0:42:38 > 0:42:42- We should crash the gate and go. - No! If you all left, I'd be a mess.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45We don't want that to happen, do we?
0:42:45 > 0:42:47- Go wash your face.- OK.
0:42:49 > 0:42:54- We cannot leave her. - We can't break up a wedding if we can't break up the couple!
0:42:54 > 0:43:01Don't worry. I will find a way. Why? Because I am Abigail Scanlon, master of the narrativitah!
0:43:01 > 0:43:05- I thought you were blocked and a has-been. - Not yet. I will figure this out.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10I'm sorry.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18Let's see...
0:43:18 > 0:43:22You got something for Tony, but nothing for me.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28Come on!
0:43:33 > 0:43:36Harder and higher!
0:43:37 > 0:43:40Come on, no resting!
0:43:44 > 0:43:48Hey, you. We need a ring bearer, not a clown. You're not to smile.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51- This is not about you.- Mom!
0:43:52 > 0:43:55- You...- Here!
0:43:56 > 0:43:58Right now... Good!
0:43:59 > 0:44:02Come back here!
0:44:10 > 0:44:14- Let's go!- All right! - Time's a-wasting.
0:44:28 > 0:44:33Well, I think we finally have an arrangement that works for everybody. Thank you.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35Yes, you are a genius.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40ALL SCREAM
0:44:44 > 0:44:45Oh...
0:44:47 > 0:44:50Was that something important?
0:44:53 > 0:44:59Some candid pics of fun with my bridesmaids. The big pillow fight.
0:45:02 > 0:45:06- I hate pillow fights. - Oh, don't be a big puss!
0:45:07 > 0:45:09Abigail...easy.
0:45:15 > 0:45:16Ah...
0:45:19 > 0:45:20Ouch!
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Help!
0:45:25 > 0:45:27We're having so much fun!
0:45:40 > 0:45:45Ooh, we get a choice. At 8pm, scrapbooking in Caitlyn's room,
0:45:45 > 0:45:48Sleepless In Seattle in the den or making popcorn balls.
0:45:48 > 0:45:55- How about I jump out of the window? - Parker, you ditched I Love The '80s karaoke two nights in a row.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59- You can't sit in here and mope all night.- Amazingly, I can.
0:45:59 > 0:46:05Seriously, come on, get up. Don't leave Rachel suffering out there by herself.
0:46:05 > 0:46:07- Fine, but I hate you. - PHONE RINGS
0:46:07 > 0:46:11- Henry Kent. - You look cute. Answer it.
0:46:11 > 0:46:12Yes?
0:46:12 > 0:46:15Yeah, hi. It's Henry Kent.
0:46:15 > 0:46:20- Small-town police detective. - Oh, hi.- Very casual. Nice.
0:46:20 > 0:46:26- I know that it's a long shot and it's tough getting out... - Dinner? Yes, absolutely.
0:46:26 > 0:46:33- Well, great.- How about Crawdads in 20 minutes? It's still there? - It was this morning.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35See you there.
0:46:35 > 0:46:39# I have a date, I have a date I have a date... #
0:46:39 > 0:46:42Fine. But I hate you back.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45Do that move again.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48Yay! Abigail's here!
0:46:48 > 0:46:50- Yay!- Yay!
0:46:53 > 0:46:55# But I have a date! #
0:47:04 > 0:47:09If you hadn't called me, right now I'd be pasting baby pictures of Caitlyn.
0:47:09 > 0:47:13- They're pretty hardcore, huh? - We wear matching pyjamas.- Ooh.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17I'm still a little curious as to why you stuck around town.
0:47:17 > 0:47:24- You quickly ruled out interest in me.- We're worried about Rachel. She's not over Tony.
0:47:24 > 0:47:28It's sort of a sensitive area for a friend of the groom.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30Sorry. Want to change the subject?
0:47:30 > 0:47:34Nah, I know why they're really getting married.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37- Secretly pregnant bride. What a cliche.- What?!
0:47:37 > 0:47:41- She's pregnant?- Oh, no. Please don't tell anyone I told you that.
0:47:41 > 0:47:45It's OK, cos I'm joking. Everybody knows.
0:47:45 > 0:47:46I'm serious. The bus boy knows.
0:47:46 > 0:47:51- Javier, who's pregnant? - Miss Caitlyn.
0:47:53 > 0:47:58All right. Well, I... I told you about Rachel. So what's Tony's story?
0:47:58 > 0:48:02Tony's a stand-up guy. He's doing what he has to do.
0:48:02 > 0:48:06- But is he happy about it? - Um, let's see...
0:48:06 > 0:48:07No.
0:48:08 > 0:48:14When he found out she was pregnant, he put his first through a wall. But he realised this is Louisiana.
0:48:14 > 0:48:18It's 1870. And the options are get married or get married now.
0:48:18 > 0:48:23- So he's biting his lip and taking his punishment.- One big misery-fest.
0:48:23 > 0:48:30Yeah. In fact, I'd probably have to say that meeting you is the only good thing to come from it.
0:48:30 > 0:48:37Henry, I leave for New York the day after the wedding and I don't sleep with a guy for three weeks and...
0:48:37 > 0:48:41- Parker?- Yeah? - It's just dinner.
0:48:43 > 0:48:48Although if I happen to find myself in New York in exactly three weeks...
0:48:59 > 0:49:05Hey! How was the date with the cop? Did he frisk you? Did he find anything?
0:49:05 > 0:49:09- It was awful.- I'm sorry, sweetheart. - No, he's great.
0:49:09 > 0:49:14Possibly better than great. And he likes me. Oh, God.
0:49:14 > 0:49:20- Why not stick around and see what happens?- I live in New York City. My career is there.
0:49:20 > 0:49:26I didn't tell you, but my agent dumped me yesterday in an email which she signed "love".
0:49:26 > 0:49:31So I'm going home to nothing and leaving this adorable guy here.
0:49:31 > 0:49:38Olivia has me so carb-starved if you spot a Kaiser roll, I'd eat it in three bites.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41Which of us is more pathetic?
0:49:41 > 0:49:46- We were scrapbooking last night and I got all these paper cuts. - We have a winner.
0:49:46 > 0:49:51What a super morning it is! I just saw a red bird outside.
0:49:51 > 0:49:56You know, Bitsy, I hope we all stay in touch when this week is over.
0:49:57 > 0:50:01- Girls, breakfast is on the patio. - Is Caitlyn out there?
0:50:01 > 0:50:04No, our bride is not at all well.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07I thought I heard her throwing up.
0:50:07 > 0:50:12- These things happen. - Morning sickness(!)- Yeah.
0:50:12 > 0:50:17Or somebody was up late last night doing mucho mucho tequila shots.
0:50:18 > 0:50:24- Pregnant girls don't do tequila shots.- Unless they're not pregnant.
0:50:26 > 0:50:30Bitsy, you need to tell us the truth.
0:50:30 > 0:50:34- Uh-uh.- It'll be much easier on you if you just talk.
0:50:34 > 0:50:36- Anything yet?- No.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38Not gonna happen.
0:50:41 > 0:50:43Oh, what is this?
0:50:43 > 0:50:45Oooh.
0:50:46 > 0:50:51- Those are mine! Where did you get those?- From your room. Cashmere?
0:50:51 > 0:50:55- I think so.- And not a spot on it. - Shame if anything happens to it.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57- Don't you dare!- Mm!
0:50:57 > 0:51:02- What have you got there, Abigail? - Just a few things that can spill.
0:51:02 > 0:51:05Like...marinara sauce.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08Club soda gets it right out.
0:51:10 > 0:51:13- Soy sauce. - White vinegar and peroxide!
0:51:19 > 0:51:22Ah, well, look what I have here.
0:51:22 > 0:51:27Fruit preserves. And I think that's... Yeah. That's blueberry.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30You wouldn't...!
0:51:50 > 0:51:56- She's not pregnant! She never was! Please don't hurt my sweaters! - What about the pregnancy test?
0:51:56 > 0:52:02That was my sister's urine. Muffy married an Irish Catholic guy. She's always pregnant.
0:52:02 > 0:52:06Caitlyn asked me to get a cup of her pee, so I did.
0:52:06 > 0:52:11Please don't tell her I blabbed. Gamma Kappa Nus forever.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14It's OK, Bitsy.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17- It's over.- Can I go now?- Sure.
0:52:22 > 0:52:28I can't believe it. Caitlyn lied about being pregnant to trick Tony into marrying her?
0:52:30 > 0:52:33That bi... That b...
0:52:33 > 0:52:37- Say it.- It'll make you feel good. - I can't. THAT BITCH!
0:52:37 > 0:52:40VOICE ECHOES
0:52:40 > 0:52:44- Careful, sweetheart! Don't hurt yourself!- Sorry.
0:52:44 > 0:52:48- This changes everything.- We've got to tell Tony.- Yeah, we have to.
0:52:48 > 0:52:50When?
0:52:51 > 0:52:54How about right now?
0:52:54 > 0:53:01- He's here. We'll distract Caitlyn and you go tell Tony.- I don't think I can.- After what she did to you?!
0:53:01 > 0:53:04Yeah, you're right. I'll tell him. I have to.
0:53:04 > 0:53:06OK.
0:53:06 > 0:53:10Here goes. I'm taking my life back.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12Wish me luck!
0:53:15 > 0:53:17Bye! Have fun!
0:53:17 > 0:53:22Be careful. Don't you do anything I wouldn't do.
0:53:22 > 0:53:26Oh, isn't that cute? They're going on a canoe trip.
0:53:26 > 0:53:30Male bonding. Three days in the woods. No laptops, no cellphones.
0:53:30 > 0:53:36- No strippers, thank you very much. - When will they be back? - Right before the wedding.
0:53:36 > 0:53:40All he has to do is shave and put on a tux. Men are not very complicated.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58I got it! Why don't we find out what river they're on,
0:53:58 > 0:54:03rent a canoe and some maps and stuff and just hunt 'em down?
0:54:03 > 0:54:07Excellent. A plan that utilises our vast wilderness skillset.
0:54:07 > 0:54:11- What have you got?- A headache. And I'm hungry, too.- Careful now!
0:54:11 > 0:54:17- Is that Caitlyn's dress? - I was at the fitting. It's an absolutely beautiful gown.
0:54:17 > 0:54:21- Do you realise what we're trying to do here?- You're right. I...
0:54:21 > 0:54:25- It's not your fault.- We have to bring this wedding to its knees
0:54:25 > 0:54:30- and it's not going to be pretty. - We might need an actual plan.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32MUFFLED SCREAM
0:54:34 > 0:54:38No-o-o-o! No!
0:54:38 > 0:54:41No, no, no, no, no! Mother!
0:54:43 > 0:54:46NO-O-O-O-O!
0:54:46 > 0:54:52- It's wrong! It's all wrong! - Caitlyn, honey! What's all wrong? What's the matter?
0:54:52 > 0:54:58- Calm down.- I will not! Those idiots, they ruined it. Look! - What am I looking at?
0:54:58 > 0:55:02My mother is blind! Look - it's summer pearl.
0:55:02 > 0:55:05And what colour did I specify?
0:55:05 > 0:55:07Burnished eggshell!
0:55:07 > 0:55:11It's true. I was there. It was lovely.
0:55:11 > 0:55:13Are you kidding me?
0:55:13 > 0:55:18- It's ruined. The wedding is ruined. - Oh, honey belle, we've got time. We can fix it.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20I'll get on the phone to Jean Louis.
0:55:20 > 0:55:25Oh, well. You better. You promised me.
0:55:25 > 0:55:29Every detail of this wedding has to be exactly right.
0:55:29 > 0:55:33I am only marrying this guy because of all the money you went through.
0:55:33 > 0:55:41I don't mind a loveless marriage, but I will not tolerate anything less than a perfect wedding.
0:55:42 > 0:55:48- If it is not the wedding I want, I am not walking down your aisle. Period.- It'll be perfect.
0:55:48 > 0:55:51It'll be perfectly perfect.
0:55:52 > 0:55:58Man, she'll be ashamed if anything happened in the next couple of days that make this less than perfect.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01Ooh, I just got chills.
0:56:05 > 0:56:09Yes, is this the florist in charge of the McNabb wedding?
0:56:09 > 0:56:11- Who am I?- Caitlyn.
0:56:11 > 0:56:16- Be Caitlyn.- Well, this is Miss Caitlyn McNabb, bride to be.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18I'd like to make a few changes...
0:56:18 > 0:56:25- I would never order lilies. Ever since I was six years old... - They make her eyes water.
0:56:25 > 0:56:29I get awful hives all over my body. Mother! I need my ointment!
0:56:31 > 0:56:37A white tent is just so blah. I wondered if you had anything a little bit more playful.
0:56:37 > 0:56:43- Yes! Something a little bit more playful.- A bouncy castle is not what I dreamed about.
0:56:43 > 0:56:45Where is my white tent?
0:56:45 > 0:56:47We'll find it, baby.
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Pop the damn thing, Blutman! Pop it!
0:56:53 > 0:56:59Are you the woman in charge of the ice sculptures in my Caitlyn's wedding?
0:56:59 > 0:57:00Mother!
0:57:00 > 0:57:02What is it now?
0:57:02 > 0:57:08What, honey belle? Is there some little something they got wrong?
0:57:11 > 0:57:15- That's not so little. - It's supposed to be Baby Cupid.
0:57:15 > 0:57:19- Not some aroused satyr! - Guests could hang their umbrellas.
0:57:19 > 0:57:24- That's the biggest one I've ever seen.- I can't do this any more.
0:57:24 > 0:57:27Honey belle, breathe. It'll be OK.
0:57:27 > 0:57:30Breathe. Momma is gonna take care of it. OK?
0:57:30 > 0:57:34Breathe. Momma is gonna take care of it.
0:57:56 > 0:58:00Oh, my. Don't you girls look just lovely? Even you, Abigail.
0:58:00 > 0:58:05- Oh, Miss Olivia. If you had wings, you'd be an angel.- Mm.
0:58:07 > 0:58:10- Or a nasty-ass dragon. - I heard that.- Mm.
0:58:13 > 0:58:18Everything's coming along nicely, dear. I've seen the new cherubs and they're sweet as pie.
0:58:18 > 0:58:24And the flowers! The flowers. Roses and roses, as far as the eye can see.
0:58:24 > 0:58:30What about the cake? The one that says, "Mazel tov, Bernie and Agnes,
0:58:30 > 0:58:32"on 50 fabulous years"?
0:58:32 > 0:58:37- Just a bad memory. - I'm not feeling happy, Mother.
0:58:37 > 0:58:41A bride should be happy the day before her wedding.
0:58:41 > 0:58:44More shoulders. Relax, darling.
0:58:44 > 0:58:47Mother has everything under control.
0:58:47 > 0:58:49Everything.
0:58:53 > 0:58:55LAUGHTER
0:58:56 > 0:58:59Go, go, go, go, go!
0:59:04 > 0:59:08I just heard them talking. Caitlyn is so completely frazzled!
0:59:08 > 0:59:10She's going to go over the edge!
0:59:10 > 0:59:14- Who wants the honours? - Me, please!
0:59:14 > 0:59:17Come on, Rachel! Come on!
0:59:17 > 0:59:24- Let's go, Rachel! Who stole your man, Rachel? - Take that, you slimebag man stealer!
0:59:34 > 0:59:36SQUEALING WITH DELIGHT
0:59:40 > 0:59:44ALL: Whoo!
1:00:12 > 1:00:19You see, Caitlyn. As I suspected, your dear old friends have been behind all of it.
1:00:19 > 1:00:24Detective, we can hand this over to you now. Theft, destruction of property, malicious mischief.
1:00:24 > 1:00:27- Do you need more? - No, that's plenty.
1:00:27 > 1:00:30Oh, and by the way,
1:00:30 > 1:00:32that dress was just a decoy.
1:00:32 > 1:00:35The real one is safely locked away.
1:00:35 > 1:00:38OK, I got to read you your rights.
1:00:40 > 1:00:41Wait.
1:00:42 > 1:00:44Wait.
1:00:49 > 1:00:52And you call yourselves... bridesmaids.
1:00:54 > 1:00:56You're a disgrace to the name.
1:00:56 > 1:01:01And not worthy of the dresses you wear.
1:01:17 > 1:01:20And after everything I did for you.
1:01:36 > 1:01:37Turn.
1:01:39 > 1:01:44So we all thought you groom's men were on this big canoe trip.
1:01:44 > 1:01:48I couldn't get off work. I wish I was there, though.
1:01:48 > 1:01:50Next!
1:01:54 > 1:01:59Hey, how you doing? Can I get more of a flattering light?
1:01:59 > 1:02:01Thank you so much(!)
1:02:01 > 1:02:03Turn.
1:02:03 > 1:02:09- Don't judge us. You don't know the whole story. - Stop talking until you get a lawyer.
1:02:09 > 1:02:11- We had to do something.- Stop.
1:02:11 > 1:02:13Please.
1:02:21 > 1:02:25Hey, Parker! Let's take a picture together.
1:02:30 > 1:02:34- You know, Miss Wald, you're fully entitled to an attorney.- I know.
1:02:34 > 1:02:38But I'm not arguing with you. We did all these things.
1:02:38 > 1:02:45- Plus a few more things.- You really want to wait for an attorney. - It was the right thing to do!
1:02:45 > 1:02:48Henry, you're listening, right?
1:02:48 > 1:02:51I can tell that you're there.
1:02:51 > 1:02:53Close.
1:02:54 > 1:02:59What choice did we have? Caitlyn's not pregnant. She lied.
1:02:59 > 1:03:03How about that? And why? Because Miss Olivia ran out of money.
1:03:03 > 1:03:09She doesn't want to lose her big house and ten closets of clothes. Caitlyn doesn't even love Tony.
1:03:09 > 1:03:11We heard her say it.
1:03:11 > 1:03:13But Rachel...
1:03:13 > 1:03:16Rachel does love Tony.
1:03:16 > 1:03:21And he loves her and you know that. And this sham of a wedding is going to happen tomorrow
1:03:21 > 1:03:24if somebody doesn't stop it.
1:03:24 > 1:03:26Come on, Henry.
1:03:26 > 1:03:28This is about love.
1:03:28 > 1:03:31Don't you care about love?
1:03:32 > 1:03:35Oh, boy...
1:03:35 > 1:03:37I kind of thought you did.
1:03:39 > 1:03:41I kind of thought...
1:03:41 > 1:03:44that's the guy you are.
1:03:46 > 1:03:52Oh... Do you know how much I've been thinking about you the past three days?
1:03:52 > 1:04:00I'm so glad this glass is here because...I would never have the nerve to tell you how I feel.
1:04:01 > 1:04:03Over the past couple of days,
1:04:04 > 1:04:09I've been thinking to myself, what if I didn't go back to New York?
1:04:09 > 1:04:15What if I stuck around here for a while? What would life be like with a guy like Henry?
1:04:17 > 1:04:20Well, not a guy like Henry.
1:04:21 > 1:04:23Henry.
1:04:29 > 1:04:30Oh, God...
1:04:38 > 1:04:41Um, Detective,
1:04:42 > 1:04:45I'm thinking this one's yours.
1:04:48 > 1:04:53I kind of heard everything you just said. You're very...
1:04:53 > 1:05:00- ..persuasive.- And we can prove everything, Henry.- No, not about that. What you said about...
1:05:00 > 1:05:02me and you.
1:05:04 > 1:05:08- I'm crossing so many professional lines here.- You're a good person.
1:05:08 > 1:05:14- I need to be a good cop. - You believe what I said, right? - About me and you or the other one?
1:05:15 > 1:05:18I was kind of hoping both.
1:05:20 > 1:05:23Where are we, Henry?
1:05:30 > 1:05:34- How did you do it?- Hm? - How did you get Henry to spring us?
1:05:34 > 1:05:37- Hm, I know.- No, I did not!
1:05:37 > 1:05:41- But you would have.- It didn't come to that.- You so would have!
1:05:41 > 1:05:49- When did you two hook up?- We didn't. Yet. It's complicated.- Your man's not marrying someone else!
1:05:49 > 1:05:55OK, bridesmaids, we've been thinking small. Girlie pranks are over. No guts, no glory.
1:05:55 > 1:05:59- This is war. - True that! Got any mustard?
1:05:59 > 1:06:04Tomorrow we go in for the kill. We eliminate the most essential part of this wedding.
1:06:04 > 1:06:10- The bride.- I guess we have to. There's a lot of good places to bury the body. They'll never find it.
1:06:10 > 1:06:15- Uh, Rach, kill is just an expression.- Oh, of course.
1:06:15 > 1:06:19Look at the shy one. All giddy and ready for blood. Adorable.
1:06:19 > 1:06:25- If we don't kill her, she'll just come back.- Not if we do this right. - Don't worry. She's going down!
1:06:25 > 1:06:27Who's in?
1:06:27 > 1:06:29Let's do this!
1:06:34 > 1:06:37CLASSICAL MUSIC
1:07:02 > 1:07:08These are the three women. They may yet try something else. We cannot be too cautious.
1:07:08 > 1:07:13- Are your men armed, sir?- This is Louisiana, ma'am. Of course we are.
1:07:15 > 1:07:17Good. Don't be afraid to use them.
1:07:17 > 1:07:19Ah, Reverend...
1:07:22 > 1:07:24MUSIC: "Bad To The Bone"
1:07:29 > 1:07:32You ready, Miss Olivia?
1:07:34 > 1:07:36Out of my way, faker girls.
1:07:42 > 1:07:47- Oh, Caitlyn, you look so gorgeous in this dress.- Oh, I know.
1:07:47 > 1:07:51- Where's the veil? - Oh, um, it's around. Somewhere.
1:07:51 > 1:07:54"It's around. Somewhere"?
1:07:54 > 1:07:59Bitsy, do you know why I asked you to be my maid of honour?
1:08:01 > 1:08:03I have no idea.
1:08:04 > 1:08:07Find it. Find it!
1:08:14 > 1:08:15I look good.
1:08:19 > 1:08:23- Why are you two loitering about? - Miss Olivia? - What are you looking at?
1:08:23 > 1:08:29Am I the first person to fall asleep in a tanning bay? I think not! Look out for those three awful girls!
1:08:29 > 1:08:31- Now move.- Yes, ma'am.
1:08:31 > 1:08:33Ma'am.
1:08:33 > 1:08:38- So why do you think acting is so hard?- Try getting paid for it. - Hush, you!
1:08:42 > 1:08:44Now or never.
1:08:44 > 1:08:46Now!
1:08:47 > 1:08:50Hey, honey belle. Ready for your big day?
1:08:50 > 1:08:51Oh!
1:08:56 > 1:08:57Mo...
1:08:57 > 1:09:01I can't hear what you're saying.
1:09:01 > 1:09:02Aaaargh!
1:09:14 > 1:09:16Aaaah!
1:09:21 > 1:09:24Bitsy! Help me!
1:09:30 > 1:09:35Wait a minute! Better hurry. Olivia's due up here any second.
1:09:35 > 1:09:40I know this isn't very Gamma Kappa of me, but I hate your guts!
1:09:42 > 1:09:46- Are you going to kill her? - No. They said no.
1:09:50 > 1:09:53- Are you going to help? - I'm in heels.
1:09:53 > 1:09:56The coast is clear.
1:10:03 > 1:10:07OLIVIA: I swear, Charlotte, half these people don't know how to dress!
1:10:07 > 1:10:11- Come upstairs.- In here!
1:10:23 > 1:10:25Ma'am. Miss Olivia.
1:10:26 > 1:10:30Come on! Come on. The coast is clear.
1:10:30 > 1:10:35That's a filthy and evil rug. I won't have it in my house today!
1:10:35 > 1:10:37Move along. Thank you.
1:10:41 > 1:10:45- Good luck. Anything else you need? - Can you drive stick?
1:10:48 > 1:10:52- Hold on, cowgirls! - Whoa!- Sorry!
1:11:03 > 1:11:09- Y'all are so not my friends any more.- We still like you. We brought you iced tea and passion fruit.
1:11:09 > 1:11:13- Drink some.- Why? - Cos it's really good. See?
1:11:13 > 1:11:17- No.- Drink the tea, Caitlyn! - No thank you, Parker.
1:11:17 > 1:11:23- They did a really great job with your hair. - I wish I could have hair like you.
1:11:23 > 1:11:25- Do you want some?- No!
1:11:25 > 1:11:27- You wouldn't dare.- How much?
1:11:27 > 1:11:31- Just a little bit more. - There?- A little bit more.
1:11:31 > 1:11:33- Yeah, perfect.- OK!
1:11:33 > 1:11:38- I'll drink the damn tea! - Drink it.
1:11:38 > 1:11:40- I won't!- Ah!
1:11:40 > 1:11:42Bottoms up.
1:11:45 > 1:11:47This is more fun than Rush Week.
1:11:47 > 1:11:52- Hi, we're here for a pregnancy test. - What?!- Yes, that's right.
1:11:52 > 1:11:58We have an appointment. McNabb. Four o'clock. We're early. Don't mind her. She's a little nervous.
1:11:58 > 1:12:02- I don't... Uh, yeah. Room 7. That way.- Thank you.
1:12:02 > 1:12:09Somebody call my momma! Momma! I'm not supposed to be here! Momma!
1:12:09 > 1:12:12Doctor will be with you shortly.
1:12:12 > 1:12:15'Honey belle?'
1:12:17 > 1:12:20- What is it?- My carpet.
1:12:20 > 1:12:23Caitlyn? Where is my carpet?
1:12:24 > 1:12:26Caitlyn?
1:12:29 > 1:12:31Pee in the cup, Caitlyn.
1:12:31 > 1:12:34- Never.- Pee in the cup.
1:12:34 > 1:12:39- Jamais. That's French. - Caitlyn, you are full of tea up to your eyeballs.
1:12:39 > 1:12:46- You've got to go sooner or later. - I have the McNabb bladder and I know what you're up to.
1:12:46 > 1:12:52- What are we up to? - You think that... I'm not even going to say what you think.
1:12:52 > 1:12:55- We have all day.- Mm.
1:12:59 > 1:13:01Stop now!
1:13:02 > 1:13:06Your first mistake, Officer, was releasing them.
1:13:06 > 1:13:10They snuck back in and stole my daughter. You've got to find them!
1:13:10 > 1:13:15- Bitsy's gone as well. - This is a disaster. Those rotten girls are out to ruin everything.
1:13:15 > 1:13:19After I practically raised them! I should have smothered them.
1:13:19 > 1:13:22Hello, darling. You look lovely.
1:13:24 > 1:13:30Niagara Falls. All of the great, wondrous, enormous flowing bodies of water.
1:13:30 > 1:13:35Whoosh. Listen to that sound, Caitlyn. Like a gurgling stream.
1:13:35 > 1:13:38Building, becoming stronger.
1:13:38 > 1:13:42- Feeding into a mighty waterfall. - Not gonna work!
1:13:42 > 1:13:44- SIRENS Oh, my God! Police.- Crap!
1:13:44 > 1:13:49Oh, well, well, ladies. It looks as if the cavalry has arrived.
1:13:49 > 1:13:54There are police cars all over the parking lot. Is this about you?
1:13:54 > 1:13:58- Yes. I am being held captive. - No, she's not.
1:13:58 > 1:14:04- Well, I...- Here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna pee and you're gonna test it!
1:14:04 > 1:14:10Caitlyn, I will call that reporter from Wedding Belles and I will tell him exactly
1:14:10 > 1:14:14how you got that A+ from Mr Peterson in Physics.
1:14:14 > 1:14:17Oh, honey. Five minutes well spent.
1:14:19 > 1:14:25'This is the police department! We have the building surrounded. Release the bride and come out!'
1:14:25 > 1:14:31- What the heck is going on? - We did everything right. It should have worked.
1:14:31 > 1:14:34I'm so sorry, Rachel.
1:14:34 > 1:14:40Y'all are pathetic. You thought you could trick me? Make me fill your little cup?
1:14:40 > 1:14:46The police are going to lock y'all up while Tony and I take a nice long walk down the aisle.
1:14:46 > 1:14:50Me and him and all his family's money.
1:14:50 > 1:14:54- You don't love him. - Love! Marriage is an arrangement.
1:14:54 > 1:14:58I arranged for Tony to believe I was pregnant.
1:14:58 > 1:15:04- How can you live with yourself? - In a big house. With Tony. And servants. And no diapers to change.
1:15:04 > 1:15:08So Caitlyn wins. You all lose.
1:15:08 > 1:15:13Like it's always been. Like it always will be.
1:15:13 > 1:15:14Wow.
1:15:14 > 1:15:17That was wonderful.
1:15:17 > 1:15:20Better than I expected.
1:15:20 > 1:15:24- Can I cut now?- Sure. - 'That's it. We're coming in!
1:15:24 > 1:15:28- 'There is a lot of us!' - Relax, Henry. We cut.
1:15:29 > 1:15:32- How did we do?- We did great.
1:15:34 > 1:15:36Good job, everybody.
1:15:42 > 1:15:45MUSIC: "The Wedding March"
1:15:58 > 1:16:02Wasn't that wonderful? It just gets better every time.
1:16:03 > 1:16:05Play it again, boys. Play it again.
1:16:08 > 1:16:10SIRENS
1:16:17 > 1:16:18Oh! Oh!
1:16:23 > 1:16:24Upsy-daisy!
1:16:24 > 1:16:30We're all here now. Everything's fine. # La-da-da-da! # Play it!
1:16:30 > 1:16:32Nice tux.
1:16:35 > 1:16:39Will you show him the tape or should we?
1:16:43 > 1:16:46Ah...Tony...
1:16:48 > 1:16:51I have something to tell you.
1:16:51 > 1:16:53And, um...
1:16:53 > 1:16:56And it's horrible to say.
1:16:58 > 1:17:00But, em...
1:17:04 > 1:17:10These wicked, wicked girls are about to show you a tape filled with lies.
1:17:10 > 1:17:16The made me drink something and I said outrageous things, but you mustn't believe them. No.
1:17:16 > 1:17:21Let's just get married and run off to one of your many homes right now.
1:17:26 > 1:17:30- Tony Bear... - Funny thing about those homes.
1:17:30 > 1:17:34As of yesterday, we don't have them any more.
1:17:34 > 1:17:39- What? Of course you do. - Dad's company was holding some phony stock certificates.
1:17:39 > 1:17:43The SEC just shut him down. The family fortune's gone.
1:17:43 > 1:17:48So I guess we'll just have to raise this little baby on a budget.
1:17:48 > 1:17:54- And I can do what I've always wanted to do and teach high school. - Oh, God.
1:17:54 > 1:17:57- There might be some lean years... - Lean years?
1:17:57 > 1:17:59No, see,
1:17:59 > 1:18:04- I can't marry lean years. - What about the baby?
1:18:04 > 1:18:09Oh, God! There is no baby! Grow up!
1:18:09 > 1:18:11I need a drink! Huh!
1:18:16 > 1:18:18So...we're not getting married?
1:18:24 > 1:18:30Funny. Does this look like the body of a teacher's wife to you?
1:18:39 > 1:18:43- What are you looking at? - Oh...oh...!
1:18:45 > 1:18:49- I guess we won't be needing this. - No.- Oh, Tony...
1:18:49 > 1:18:54- I'm so sorry about what happened to your family.- How about you?
1:18:54 > 1:18:57Could you spend your life with a schoolteacher?
1:18:57 > 1:19:02No big wedding, nothing glamorous. Just...you and me.
1:19:02 > 1:19:06I couldn't imagine anything more wonderful.
1:19:06 > 1:19:08What are you doing?!
1:19:11 > 1:19:13Would you marry me, Rachel?
1:19:13 > 1:19:16Oh, so much! Of course!
1:19:25 > 1:19:27Oh, my God.
1:19:30 > 1:19:33- Sweetheart...- Yes? - I have some bad news.
1:19:33 > 1:19:36- I kinda lied.- Oh.
1:19:36 > 1:19:40Nobody lost any money. I just said that to see how she'd take it.
1:19:40 > 1:19:44- You mean you're still rich? - Are you still interested?
1:19:44 > 1:19:46Nobody's perfect.
1:19:47 > 1:19:50Of course!
1:19:51 > 1:19:54OK, OK, OK. We could be your bridesmaids.
1:19:54 > 1:19:57We have a LOT of experience.
1:20:02 > 1:20:08- It looks like you might have to stick around town a little while. - You'd like that, wouldn't you?
1:20:08 > 1:20:10Yeah.
1:20:26 > 1:20:31'Three months later we had our second outing as bridesmaids and this was a lot more fun
1:20:31 > 1:20:35'because we were actually rooting for the couple.
1:20:46 > 1:20:49'You never saw anybody happier than Rachel.
1:20:50 > 1:20:57'Hey, we're all pretty happy these days. Parker went back to New York and landed an incredible job.'
1:20:57 > 1:21:00- Freeze, scumbag!- Cut!
1:21:00 > 1:21:02Sheets for tomorrow...
1:21:02 > 1:21:07'She got a major part in a big action movie. She came back from Lambert a new person.
1:21:07 > 1:21:14'A totally transformed, take charge babe. And she nailed the first audition she got.
1:21:14 > 1:21:17'Aw, look at our little Parker.
1:21:17 > 1:21:20'Oh, and the best part? They let her hire her own consultant.'
1:21:20 > 1:21:23Nice gun action. I had my hands up.
1:21:23 > 1:21:28'Henry takes the State detective exam next week. They're so cute together.
1:21:28 > 1:21:32'And you probably heard about my news.
1:21:32 > 1:21:38'This whole Caitlyn plot with the wedding and scheming was so completely ludicrous
1:21:38 > 1:21:44'I figured there had to be a book here, so I banged it out. Third week on the fiction best seller list.
1:21:44 > 1:21:47'Look for me at a bookstore near you.'
1:21:47 > 1:21:53Where did all the ideas come from? Right here. It just flows out of me constantly.
1:21:53 > 1:21:55Can't stop it.
1:22:42 > 1:22:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd