0:00:32 > 0:00:35- Is that guy hitching with a fridge? - Oh yes.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38What an idiot.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50And Bob? Where is Bob? Fantastic, Bob, you're looking great.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Really are, you're looking terrific. Got to hand it to him.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Still having sex at 64.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Trouble is he lives at 62.
0:00:58 > 0:00:59LAUGHTER
0:01:00 > 0:01:02I never used to believe in miracles.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04I think what changes it for you
0:01:04 > 0:01:06is when you see your first newborn baby.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09Because what it is, it's the hands, the fantastic detail in the hands,
0:01:09 > 0:01:11right the way down to the knuckle, the nail,
0:01:11 > 0:01:14the quick in the nail, it's all there in perfect miniature.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18And, as the man handed me this thing, I thought, "Now that is a miracle...
0:01:18 > 0:01:20"because I'd ordered a pizza."
0:01:20 > 0:01:21LAUGHTER
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- OK, how many do you think I can do? - AUDIENCE MEMBER: 20!
0:01:24 > 0:01:27I can do 20 easy, here we go.
0:01:27 > 0:01:311, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,
0:01:31 > 0:01:3411, 12, 13, 14,
0:01:34 > 0:01:3715, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39APPLAUSE
0:01:42 > 0:01:46I mean who hitchhikes with a fridge? I mean honestly, Trevor!
0:01:46 > 0:01:48LAUGHTER
0:01:48 > 0:01:51Thanks, Tony. We never tire of hearing that story.
0:01:51 > 0:01:56Now it's time on Teatime With Trevor for our team captain Tony to reveal all.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59What's it to be, Tony? Flip or flop?
0:01:59 > 0:02:03And remember, it's a brave man who flips.
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- I'm going to flip.- He's going to flip, folks.- It's a pair of trousers.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11I don't believe it! It is a pair of trousers! Ha ha!
0:02:34 > 0:02:39Tony, darling, mwah mwah! Loved the show yesterday.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Boy, was that funny!
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Trousers! Ha ha!
0:02:42 > 0:02:44I genuinely laughed.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49So, here we are. How's Jenny?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Well, we split up four months ago.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Ah, so you did. Shame, I liked her.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57Now, some good news.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- It's in the cupboard.- What?- Cupboard.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- What are you talking about?- Just a minute, Tony, I'm on the phone.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06With the others. It's this new headset thingy.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09I raise my arm like this when I'm on the phone so people know.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Now, some good news.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15I reckon I can get you on the bill to do the Prince's Trust Royal Gala
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Saturday week, live in front of royalty.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Stephen Kay has had to pull out,
0:03:19 > 0:03:23and the producers will use you provided you do new material.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26That won't be a problem, will it?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Hm, thought as much. Send in Dean Masterson.
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Who?- Dean Masterson, brilliant comedy writer.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37- Look, I can write my own routines. - Can you? Can you really?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39By Saturday week?
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Tony!
0:03:40 > 0:03:45You used to be able to write funny stuff, but now you're...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Well you need Dean Masterson.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Are you saying that I've lost it?
0:03:49 > 0:03:51No, no, I'm saying it's hard work.
0:03:51 > 0:03:55You need to go back to what you used to do.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Write about your ex-girlfriends, write about what you see in the park!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01I'm just not sure you've got the desire any more.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05- Sandra, you're wrong about me. - Then prove me wrong.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08No, not the cupboard by the window!
0:04:21 > 0:04:25'Parks. Erm, the thing about being friends of parks...'
0:04:25 > 0:04:27No.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30'Parks, erm...
0:04:30 > 0:04:34'I love parks. No, no.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37'Last week I had my ex...
0:04:37 > 0:04:41'No. Last week I had my front window smashed in.'
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Last week I had my window smashed in by my ex-girlfriend,
0:04:44 > 0:04:47who lives just a stone's throw away!
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Parks are good.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52I like the way they have friends of the parks.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55A while ago, I made friends with Hyde Park.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57The trouble is we've fallen out recently.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00It can't stand the fact that I walk through St James's Park
0:05:00 > 0:05:02and it thinks I'm seeing a recreation ground on the side!
0:05:19 > 0:05:21Hi, mate. Good to see you. Come in.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25So, tonight's the big night, eh?
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- How are you feeling?- Well, ready. I've done the work and I'm ready.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30- How about you?- Oh, not so good.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Daniel's running a bit of a temperature.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35BABY STARTS CRYING Which means we won't be able to come and see the Royal Gala.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Well, why not?
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Tony, I can't just leave him. Not like that, with a babysitter.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41Can't you?
0:05:41 > 0:05:46- Well, no.- Well come by yourself, let Nicola look after him.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48No, doesn't really work like that, mate, I'm afraid.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51But we'll watch it on the telly later on. Anyway, I'd better take this on upstairs.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Mr Hawks, this is your two-minutes call.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05'OK, Tony, stay focused.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08'Enjoy yourself out there. Trust your material.'
0:06:09 > 0:06:11KNOCK AT DOOR
0:06:12 > 0:06:15Are you OK, darling? God, you look terrible.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Everyone is so excited!
0:06:17 > 0:06:21This is what we've been waiting for. The new Tony! Mwah!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Your Royal Highness, my lords, ladies and gentlemen,
0:06:27 > 0:06:32please welcome a stalwart of Teatime With Trevor, Mr Tony Hawks.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34APPLAUSE
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Come on, love. Tony's on!
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Good evening.
0:06:41 > 0:06:46Last week I had my front windows smashed in by my ex-girlfriend.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Er, parks! Parks are good!
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I never used to believe in miracles. I think what changes it for you
0:06:59 > 0:07:03is when you see your first newborn baby. What it is, it's the hands.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Fantastic detail in the hand, right the way down to the knuckle,
0:07:06 > 0:07:09the nail, the quick in the nail. It's all there in perfect miniature.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12And, as the man handed me this thing, I thought, "Now that is a miracle"
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Because I'd ordered a pizza!
0:07:14 > 0:07:15LAUGHTER
0:07:17 > 0:07:20You know what's coming next, don't you?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:07:29 > 0:07:34I did not bottle it. I made a calculated decision.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Live TV's the last place you'd try out new material.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Anyway, look guys, I'm really tired
0:07:39 > 0:07:42and Daniel's bound to wake up in the night, so I'll leave you to it.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46A good little artist, your daughter.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Perfect likeness, apart from the Afro hair.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Whoo! Fancy new fridge!
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Are they finally paying you teachers more than the minimum wage at last?
0:08:00 > 0:08:03By the way, did I ever tell you my Ireland fridge story?
0:08:03 > 0:08:09Yes, you saw an old man hitching with a fridge the first time you went to Ireland.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13You've told that story three times on Teatime With Trevor, it's a biennial.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Ah, so you do watch it then?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Well, Nicola's home during the day.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19If it's on the telly, I'll sit down.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Look, I don't mind hearing the anecdote again, all right?
0:08:22 > 0:08:26I never tire of it. Maybe tomorrow, yeah? Tonight I'd like to go to bed.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Whoa whoa whoa, you're not going anywhere, mate.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32You and I are going to drink like we drank on the night I failed my finals.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35No, I don't think we have enough Tesco cider!
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- Oh no, mate, no. I'm strictly amateur these days. No.- Relax!
0:08:39 > 0:08:43We're perfectly capable of drinking and still behaving like responsible adults.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- You flinched.- No, I didn't! - You flinched.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- It's a blink, it's not the same as... - Have a drink.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53I'll take the drink but that was a blink, not a flinch.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56That was definitely a flinch. My turn.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58The thing is, if blinking...
0:09:01 > 0:09:03OK, I flinched then.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Which is not the same as blinking.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12- Well, it's good to have you back. - Where have I been?- Away.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18You know, when you reached the pinnacle of your academic prowess
0:09:18 > 0:09:19and failed your finals,
0:09:19 > 0:09:23you were going to embark on an exciting, amazing journey.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25I mean credit - you started it,
0:09:25 > 0:09:30but somewhere along the line you got lost and now you're stuck.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33You're pissed!
0:09:34 > 0:09:35You're stuck.
0:09:35 > 0:09:39You need to find something new, you know, extraordinary.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Like what?
0:09:41 > 0:09:46Well... Well, there. You go on about it often enough.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48The Ireland hitching fridge thing.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Hitchhike round Ireland with a fridge.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53You what?
0:09:53 > 0:09:57See, the old Tony, he could have done that.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01But the new Tony, you, the new Tony, you couldn't do that.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- You're wrong about me, Kevin. - In fact I'm willing to make a bet you couldn't.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07In fact all right, I'll make a bet with you.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11You could not hitchhike round Ireland with a fridge. That's the bet.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14How much?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23£100, please.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- What?- You can pay up now. You owe it to Kevin anyway.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I don't owe Kevin £100.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Oh yes you do, unless you're actually going to go to Ireland,
0:10:32 > 0:10:34buy a fridge, and spend a month hitching.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Let's face it, Tony, that's not going to happen, is it?
0:10:39 > 0:10:42"I hereby bet Tony the sum of £100 that he cannot hitchhike
0:10:42 > 0:10:46"around the circumference of Ireland with a fridge within one calendar month."
0:11:03 > 0:11:05'Tony, what the hell's going on?
0:11:05 > 0:11:07'You run away after the show,
0:11:07 > 0:11:11'you don't answer the phone all day Sunday - this is madness!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13'I got in this morning to seven messages
0:11:13 > 0:11:15'from the Prince's Trust lot - I mean,'
0:11:15 > 0:11:17what the hell were you doing out there?
0:11:17 > 0:11:21I told you to use Dean Masterson - its breach of bloody contract,
0:11:21 > 0:11:23darling, YOU said you'd do new material
0:11:23 > 0:11:26and you did that Godawful thing with a golf club.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29'You need to come over here today and personally apologise to them,'
0:11:29 > 0:11:32otherwise I'M going to have to do it and I'm sorry,
0:11:32 > 0:11:34but you know how bad I am at apologising.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I mean, what is it with you?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38What exactly IS it you're looking for?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I'll tell you what I'm looking for.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43- A fridge?- Yes.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45I'm looking for a fridge.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47This is the R2B52.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50A lot of people like the R2 range.
0:11:50 > 0:11:51This is a free frost.
0:11:51 > 0:11:56A compact and reliable little model, very popular as a second fridge.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01Or over here we've got the stylish GSP 12D50.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07It's a bit heavier than I thought it was going to be.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16# Hallelujah, hallelujah! #
0:12:16 > 0:12:19Is that the lightest one you sell?
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Lightest? Why, are you going to be moving it around much?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25You could say that, yes.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Excuse me, where do I get the bus to Cavan?
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Go into the shopping centre, up to the first floor
0:12:43 > 0:12:46and then go out the Bridge Street exit.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51MUSIC
0:12:59 > 0:13:05And I never get tired of hearing that terrific song by, er...
0:13:05 > 0:13:08by...them. By HIM - by him.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12So, it's time to go back to the Ulysses Mall now, with Roving Roisin.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13Roisin, are you there?
0:13:13 > 0:13:17Yes, Dylan, here I am, Roving Roisin in the Ulysses shopping mall
0:13:17 > 0:13:21in the heart of beautiful Dublin and the place is, as ever - buzzing.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Stay tuned, because we're going to be chatting to some of our shoppers
0:13:25 > 0:13:28who have formed a huge, excited crowd around us
0:13:28 > 0:13:31and hearing about some of their favourite plumbing stories...
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Excuse me? Where's the bus station?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42..I believe you had an experience with your septic tank?
0:13:42 > 0:13:45MICROPHONE FEEDBACK
0:13:45 > 0:13:47..Roisin?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52'Roisin, are you there? Hello?'
0:13:52 > 0:13:53Ow!
0:13:53 > 0:13:54'Hello?'
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Seem to have a few gremlins over there at the Ulysses Mall. Um...
0:14:02 > 0:14:03'Roisin, are you there?'
0:14:11 > 0:14:14Sorry about that, Dylan. So...
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Hello?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Hello, Ireland!
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Is anybody there?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Shit! Shit!
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Shit! SHIT!
0:15:51 > 0:15:53HE SIGHS
0:16:05 > 0:16:08THUNDER RUMBLES
0:16:34 > 0:16:38Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
0:16:38 > 0:16:41As if you haven't got enough room in there!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Raining out.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07You could say that, yeah.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09I just did.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Does anyone actually work here?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Pat will be up in a minute.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28He's down in the cellar...
0:17:28 > 0:17:29stocktaking.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Be up soon, will he?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- Who?- Well, the barman.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Pat? Ah, right enough.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49Ah, Pat.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53That's not Pat.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Pat's got red hair.
0:17:56 > 0:17:57I thought that was Pat.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01No. Pat's down in the cellar.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Stocktaking.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Stocktaking, yes but does he actually know I'm here?
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Listen, the sooner you learn to relax, the better.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Things happen a bit...slower round here.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Yeah, well, no offence, but it's a bit too slow for me, right?
0:18:20 > 0:18:23I'll get a drink from a shop later.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Ah, fsss.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32BIRDSONG
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Come on, Ireland.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38Won't someone have faith in this fridge?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40COW MOOS
0:18:57 > 0:18:59I'm only going as far as Caraghrararagh.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02And how far is Caraghrararagh?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04You mean Cararaclough Naraghraragh?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Yes... Cara... There, yes. How far is that?
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Caraghraclough Naraghraragh?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12- About three miles.- Three miles?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Well, throw your stuff in the back.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Yes, it's just sometimes it's best to try and find...
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Throw them in. Throw them in!
0:19:18 > 0:19:20But are there any main roads...?
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Ah, jeez - throw the feckin' stuff in the feckin' back, will ya?
0:19:24 > 0:19:26What you got there?
0:19:26 > 0:19:27It's a fridge.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Jeez, you wouldn't want to be travelling too long with a fridge, now, would you?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10So... Busy day ahead?
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Just going to the cattle market up the road.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Are you going to buy a cow?
0:20:14 > 0:20:17No! Just going to kill time.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Your dog's very clean.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44What are you looking at?
0:20:57 > 0:20:58Thanks.
0:20:58 > 0:21:03Thanks for dropping me in the worst spot for hitching in the northern hemisphere.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Would you mind moving yourself there, fella? We want to park in that spot.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12This is all your fault. If I'd picked a better looking fridge, we'd have got a lift by now.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Hello, there.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Am I doing something wrong? Do you want to park where my fridge is?
0:22:28 > 0:22:32I KNEW it was a fridge! Listen, do you want a ride?
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Are you sure?
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Looks like rain, hop in.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39I'm heading towards... Actually, I don't know where I'm heading.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42I can take you as far as Cavan, I'm there to sell a few toiletries.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44Anywhere's better than here.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Put your stuff in the back. My name's Brendan, by the way.
0:22:46 > 0:22:48I'm Tony.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50Maybe wipe those shoes, yeah, Tony?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Fridge!
0:23:10 > 0:23:11I saw you about half an hour ago
0:23:11 > 0:23:14when I was going the other way towards Kells, and I thought,
0:23:14 > 0:23:16"what is that white thing he's hitching with?"
0:23:16 > 0:23:18A fridge! A fridge!
0:23:18 > 0:23:20What an item to be hitching with!
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Yeah, I'm doing it to win a bet.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- You're kidding me! - Nope. I made it when I was drunk.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30Oh, God - the things we do when we're drunk.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32If Mary and I hadn't have gotten drunk,
0:23:32 > 0:23:34we'd never have gotten it together.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Is she your wife?- Someone else's.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41It was fun while it lasted. But that's what counts, isn't it?
0:23:41 > 0:23:44It's like you and your bet - you could have backed out of it,
0:23:44 > 0:23:47but you didn't - you heard that little voice inside your head, telling you to do it.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50That, my friend, is your intuition.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53If I hadn't listened to that little voice inside my head,
0:23:53 > 0:23:56I'd have never got into toiletries.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Isn't there a main road that will take us to Cavan?
0:24:07 > 0:24:09There is.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11And isn't that quicker?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Well, that depends on what way you look at it.
0:24:14 > 0:24:19It's further on this road, that's true, but I think it's quicker because...
0:24:20 > 0:24:22..it's more beautiful.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29Brendan, do you have any plasters with your stuff?
0:24:29 > 0:24:30These shoes are killing me.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35I've run out. Toiletries don't grow on toilet-trees, you know(!)
0:24:37 > 0:24:40I'll see what I have that might work.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Oh! Here - wedge a couple of these in.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45Panty pads?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Yeah, they give you total freedom.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Oh, yeah - for a limited period only.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57About to cross the border.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00I zip in and out of Northern Ireland two or three times on this run.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02A lot easier than it used to be.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06See that hotel there?
0:25:06 > 0:25:09That was blown up in the worst of the Troubles.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11My uncle was killed by that bomb.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Wrong place, wrong time.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Mind you, taught me a very valuable lesson.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23You might be dead tomorrow, Tony, so make sure you're alive today.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Murray Mint?
0:25:42 > 0:25:45THUNDER RUMBLES
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Yeah, you should be fine here. Looks clean enough.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Spoken like a true toiletry salesman.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53Actually, I'm staying up the road myself later,
0:25:53 > 0:25:54so if you fancy a pint...
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Thanks, but I think I'll get my head down as soon as I can.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Well, if you change your mind, it's Doyle's bar.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02But if I don't see you, good luck on that crazy adventure of yours.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04It's a good idea!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Wouldn't do it myself, mind, but...it's a good idea!
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Would those shoes be muddy?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34A bit, yes.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37Then would you mind taking them off?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39I spent an age hoovering.
0:26:47 > 0:26:48And what's that?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52It's a panty pad.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59And is that a panty pad as well?
0:26:59 > 0:27:00Yes.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Right.
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Well, will you be needing the room for just one night?
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Yes, just one night, thanks.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Is that a fridge you have there?
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Yes.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Right.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23I'll show you to your room.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33FRIDGE BUMPS UP STAIRS
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Can you actually see the screen from the pillow?
0:28:02 > 0:28:04I wouldn't think so.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06Well then, why have it there?
0:28:06 > 0:28:10We needed a telly in each room to get the two stars.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43And no having sex when I'm not looking.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49Ow! Oh! Ah! Too hot!
0:28:49 > 0:28:50Boiling!
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Ah! Freezing!
0:28:52 > 0:28:54HE SCREAMS
0:28:59 > 0:29:03TV:: 'And this depression will spread across the whole of Ireland,
0:29:03 > 0:29:06'bringing more rain and I'm afraid it's a gloomy outlook...'
0:29:06 > 0:29:07TV OFF
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Who booked a car for Dublin airport?
0:29:21 > 0:29:23I did. I'm going home.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25Well, he's outside for you.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42RADIO ON
0:29:44 > 0:29:45Oh, good - I'm glad I caught you.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48Driver, this man is going nowhere -
0:29:48 > 0:29:51this is a matter of grave national importance, you've got to get out.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53What?
0:29:53 > 0:29:55I've got the Dylan Daley show on the line.
0:29:55 > 0:29:57Who's Dylan Daley?
0:29:57 > 0:29:59Only the best DJ on All Ireland Radio, and he love loves
0:29:59 > 0:30:02this kind of wacky shit you're doing.
0:30:02 > 0:30:03I had this idea, right -
0:30:03 > 0:30:07so I gave him a call, told him what you're up to and they loved it!
0:30:07 > 0:30:09Dylan wants to have a chat with you!
0:30:09 > 0:30:10When?
0:30:10 > 0:30:13Now, as soon as this record's finished!
0:30:13 > 0:30:17'So let me get this straight - your name is Tony, you're from England
0:30:17 > 0:30:20- 'and you're hitchhiking round Ireland to win a £100 bet?' - That's right.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24But the difference is, you're doing it with your fridge.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Correct.
0:30:26 > 0:30:30Well, it sounds like a purposeless idea, but a damn fine one.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33Here, Tony - this is exactly the kind of crazy stunt
0:30:33 > 0:30:36that we at the Dylan Daley show like to keep track of,
0:30:36 > 0:30:39so could you could phone us in a couple of days, let us know how you're getting on?
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Well, I'll do my best, certainly.
0:30:42 > 0:30:43That's grand.
0:30:43 > 0:30:47Good luck to you, Tony - travel and weather after...
0:30:47 > 0:30:48this.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53Listen, Tony - will you stay on the line just a couple of seconds?
0:30:53 > 0:30:55I want to just talk to my sidekick, Roisin,
0:30:55 > 0:30:58she'll be back from the powder room any moment now.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00Terrible weak bladder, that girl.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Roisin, I have found the most brilliant character -
0:31:03 > 0:31:06he's hitchhiking round Ireland with his fridge.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09- I saw him! I saw him, Dylan. - When?
0:31:09 > 0:31:12Remember the outside broadcast that went tits-up?
0:31:12 > 0:31:14Well, it was thanks to that gobshite.
0:31:14 > 0:31:15BRENDAN LAUGHS
0:31:15 > 0:31:18There must be some mistake. I'm not a gobshite!
0:31:18 > 0:31:20That's just, er...
0:31:20 > 0:31:23Roisin's wicked sense of humour there, Tony -
0:31:23 > 0:31:25you'll have to get used to that.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32Hi, Tony! Hope you appreciated my little joke there.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35'Now, we'd love to hear more'
0:31:35 > 0:31:37about this fridge-hiking adventure of yours,
0:31:37 > 0:31:40so it'll be time for me to rev up the old radio car
0:31:40 > 0:31:43and come and find you. Where will you be on Friday?
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Um, I'm not sure, exactly.
0:31:48 > 0:31:49That doesn't matter, Tony -
0:31:49 > 0:31:51I'm sure we'll find some way of getting hold of you.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54Just like we did this morning. So be prepared!
0:31:54 > 0:31:57That was brilliant! Well done!
0:31:57 > 0:31:58Dylan Daley!
0:32:12 > 0:32:16HONKS HORN
0:32:33 > 0:32:35- Are you Tony?- Yes!
0:32:35 > 0:32:39Jason. I was just listening on the radio there - hilarious!
0:32:39 > 0:32:40I was in stitches!
0:32:40 > 0:32:43A fridge - you got yourself a lift, come on.
0:32:46 > 0:32:50After I heard you on the radio, I was looking out for you both -
0:32:50 > 0:32:52you and your fridge!
0:32:52 > 0:32:56Can't wait to tell my mates that I got you!
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Well done.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00Fair play to you.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03Hitching with a fridge! It's gas!
0:33:03 > 0:33:05Yes it is, would you mind looking at the road again now?
0:33:05 > 0:33:07CAR HORN BLARES
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Ah, it's brilliant.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11# A-I-R! #
0:33:11 > 0:33:14'So, folks, keep an eye out for fridge man Tony Hawks,
0:33:14 > 0:33:16'travelling round the country to try and win a bet.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19'You might see him on the side of the road looking confused,
0:33:19 > 0:33:20'or trying to get a lift.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23'You might see him leaving a hostel or bed-and-breakfast.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25'Apparently, he's wearing a suit, of all things.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27'And of course, he's pulling a fridge behind him.
0:33:27 > 0:33:30'You can't miss him, he's the biggest eejit in Ireland.'
0:33:41 > 0:33:44Would you mind telling me what you have in your fridge?
0:33:44 > 0:33:48Stuff, just... Stuff I couldn't fit in my bag, you know.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50Shoes.
0:33:50 > 0:33:51Shoes?
0:33:51 > 0:33:53Nobody keeps shoes in a fridge.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55I do.
0:33:55 > 0:33:56Get away.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58You can't keep shoes in a fridge.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07Sierra Tango from 626, over.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09'Sierra Tango receiving, have you asked him, Jimmy?'
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Affirmative. I have asked him.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14He keeps shoes in his fridge. Over.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17'Shoes, is it? Maureen, it's shoes.'
0:34:22 > 0:34:26'So call me, Dylan Daley, and let me know if you spot that mad fella,
0:34:26 > 0:34:29'Tony Hawks - a square man, pulling a square fridge.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32'I want to know, is he still wearing that suit?
0:34:32 > 0:34:34'God, I hope not.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39'Speaking of fridges, I had a call from a Dickie McCann from Ballyduff.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42'He tells me that he made love to his wife on top of a freezer.
0:34:42 > 0:34:45'They can never go to THAT supermarket again!'
0:34:50 > 0:34:51How much was this bet for?
0:34:51 > 0:34:52£100.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54And how much was the fridge?
0:34:54 > 0:34:55130.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Jeez, you're an idiot! What are you drinking?
0:34:57 > 0:35:00And what's more, you can't leave the fridge down there
0:35:00 > 0:35:03where she can't see what's going on. Lift her up on the barstool!
0:35:06 > 0:35:09CHEERING
0:35:09 > 0:35:12Sure it's nice to see it... out of context.
0:35:24 > 0:35:27- Morning.- Morning. I wonder if you could help me?
0:35:27 > 0:35:30I'm a photographer, I'm trying to take a picture of this lane here.
0:35:30 > 0:35:31Great lane.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35Yeah. Would you mind... holding up this branch for me?
0:35:35 > 0:35:38I just want to get some foliage across the top of the frame.
0:35:38 > 0:35:39Oh, yeah - foreground interest.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Ah, you've done this before!
0:35:41 > 0:35:44Yeah. Oh, I'm going to need it much higher than that.
0:35:44 > 0:35:46Hang on - I've just the thing.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Yeah - lovely. Lovely.
0:35:52 > 0:35:56Oh, no - it's no good - I'm going to need you about two foot that way.
0:35:56 > 0:35:57Yeah... Lovely.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00Keep going, keep going...
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Perfect. Thanks a million, you can relax now.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06I've got what I need.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08Tony Hawks, looking like a complete arse.
0:36:08 > 0:36:09What?
0:36:09 > 0:36:12I'm Roving Roisin from the Dylan Daley show.
0:36:12 > 0:36:17Oh! I get it. This is all a setup.
0:36:17 > 0:36:18Where are the hidden cameras?
0:36:18 > 0:36:23Yep - it's set up, all right. It's not for the show - this is revenge.
0:36:23 > 0:36:26You and your stupid fridge, you completely messed up my broadcast.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28In Dublin, in the Ulysses Mall.
0:36:28 > 0:36:30But it's all right, because now we're even,
0:36:30 > 0:36:34cos I've made you look like a complete arse as well.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36You're weird.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40So, how about an interview for Dylan, then?
0:36:40 > 0:36:45Interview? I'm really not sure about that -
0:36:45 > 0:36:47I do a lot of TV in England, I'm pretty well known,
0:36:47 > 0:36:49and I want to take a rest from that kind of stuff.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52- You're not in hiding then, no? - In hiding?
0:36:52 > 0:36:53I do my research, Tony.
0:36:53 > 0:36:57That review from Maureen Mitchell for the Prince's Trust show...
0:36:57 > 0:37:00Oh, she did not like that line about miracles and pizzas...
0:37:00 > 0:37:03Yeah, well I don't read reviews, and I'm not in hiding.
0:37:03 > 0:37:05If you're not in hiding,
0:37:05 > 0:37:07then you won't mind doing a live interview. Great!
0:37:07 > 0:37:09And here's the radio car.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11So hop in -
0:37:11 > 0:37:13we need to find higher ground just to get a better signal.
0:37:13 > 0:37:17Don't worry, I'll make sure I keep you in the right direction,
0:37:17 > 0:37:18so it'll keep you on track.
0:37:18 > 0:37:20Hang on, hang on. Hold your horses.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23I'm supposed to hitch the whole way.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25If you drive me somewhere,
0:37:25 > 0:37:28that will be contrary to the terms of the bet that I made with Kevin.
0:37:28 > 0:37:30I don't want to cheat.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33So I mustn't accept a lift from anyone I know.
0:37:33 > 0:37:34Only strangers.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39OK, Tony. Look...
0:37:39 > 0:37:44How about if you took a lift from someone that you thought you
0:37:44 > 0:37:47didn't know, but it turned out that you did know them, after all.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49And... Something like that might happen further down
0:37:49 > 0:37:52this road - there might be a place where in say, five minutes,
0:37:52 > 0:37:55something like that might happen. OK, Tony?
0:38:06 > 0:38:09HONKS HORN
0:38:09 > 0:38:12US ACCENT: Hey, dude - are you looking for a ride?
0:38:12 > 0:38:15Well, haul your buns on board!
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Still feels like a cheat.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Oh, my God - will you get over this cheating business?
0:38:20 > 0:38:23Don't be so uptight.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25I swear to God, you English,
0:38:25 > 0:38:27you're so up your own arses about this honour thing.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31You're hitchhiking around Ireland with a feckin' fridge.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35So tell me, what does this Kevin want? Blood?
0:38:35 > 0:38:37No. £100.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39He's not a vampire!
0:38:41 > 0:38:43PHONE RINGS
0:38:54 > 0:38:56Hi, Roisin here.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58Oh, hi, mate.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Shit, really?
0:39:00 > 0:39:03OK. Yeah, I'll be there.
0:39:03 > 0:39:05Yep. Bye.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09Breaking news - Minister of Health has just had a heart attack
0:39:09 > 0:39:11and they need the car at the hospital,
0:39:11 > 0:39:12- so I have to get it to them now. - So?
0:39:12 > 0:39:17I've got to get it back that way, so I'm going to have to drop you here.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25"My dear Kevin..."
0:39:25 > 0:39:28No. "Kevin, you arse, much to my surprise,
0:39:28 > 0:39:30"I'm beginning to warm to my task.
0:39:30 > 0:39:35"Hitchhiking, I'm finding, is a rather noble pursuit.
0:39:35 > 0:39:38"You set your ego to one side, plop yourself by the side of the road
0:39:38 > 0:39:41"and wait for someone to come along and help you.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44"And you know what? People do. Cos they're quite nice."
0:39:52 > 0:39:55"And they're intrigued as to what I keep in the fridge.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58"Lots of people have asked me if I have any beers in it,
0:39:58 > 0:40:00"to which I reply, if only there was an extension lead long enough
0:40:00 > 0:40:02"to go all the way around Ireland.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08"I'm eating some gourmet meals,
0:40:08 > 0:40:10"getting some interesting holiday snaps...
0:40:13 > 0:40:16"..and the Tony who you said was stuck?
0:40:16 > 0:40:18"Well - I've left him behind a tree."
0:40:20 > 0:40:23TV: 'Waves - sometimes, they come in twos.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26'Sometimes, in threes.'
0:40:26 > 0:40:29He's a great man at pulling the Guinness, is Francie.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31Nice and slow.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34That's fine with me.
0:40:34 > 0:40:35I'm in no hurry.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38'Waves broke...'
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Change the channel there, Francie, will you? This is shite.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44'And now, on Teatime With Trevor.'
0:40:44 > 0:40:47Christ, that's shite as well.
0:40:47 > 0:40:50'With Bob, our new team captain.'
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Mind you, that fella is mucking around with the other eejit
0:40:53 > 0:40:54who used to do it.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56'It's a brave man who flips.'
0:40:56 > 0:40:59This is indeed a special occasion.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03We hereby name this fridge Saiorse, the Gaelic word for freedom,
0:41:03 > 0:41:09after all, there is no fridge in the world more free than this one!
0:41:09 > 0:41:11APPLAUSE
0:41:13 > 0:41:16May God bless and keep this fridge on her travels around Ireland
0:41:16 > 0:41:18with her friend, Tony. May the local people...
0:41:18 > 0:41:21"You wouldn't believe it, Dylan - the fridge has been christened
0:41:21 > 0:41:23"and blessed."
0:41:23 > 0:41:27Tony, I don't know what you or your fridge are doing to bring
0:41:27 > 0:41:30all this out of the Irish people, but all I can say is, keep it up,
0:41:30 > 0:41:32and call us in a few days - I can't wait for the next update.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Bye.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Cheers.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38He's mad.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45"Dear Kevin, this is hell.
0:41:45 > 0:41:49"Recently, I was set upon by some hideous, ageing art students
0:41:49 > 0:41:53"who got hold of my jacket and turned me into a new superhero.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59"And you, poor devil, are still just plain Kevin,
0:41:59 > 0:42:02"but I am now officially Fridge Man."
0:42:02 > 0:42:04"And just now, I'm enjoying the peace
0:42:04 > 0:42:07"and tranquillity that a man with a wife and two kids
0:42:07 > 0:42:10"can only dream of."
0:42:10 > 0:42:14"And the fridge, well - it's now called Saiorse,
0:42:14 > 0:42:17"and it's becoming a work of art."
0:42:21 > 0:42:23"And I'm being pursued...
0:42:23 > 0:42:25HORN HONKS
0:42:25 > 0:42:27"..by this strange woman."
0:42:31 > 0:42:34AUSSIE ACCENT: Hop in, sport - I'll take you where you want to go.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37'You're tuned to the Daley Show with Dylan Daley, on AIR,
0:42:37 > 0:42:40'and for an update on Tony Hawks, our Fridge Man,
0:42:40 > 0:42:43'we have Seamus on the line. Seamus, I hear you've spotted him?'
0:42:43 > 0:42:44'Too right, I did, Dylan.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47'When I saw him, I nearly crashed my wife's Honda.'
0:42:49 > 0:42:50Excellent hat.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53You're really quite the master of accents.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Irish is your best one, though.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57By some considerable margin.
0:42:58 > 0:43:00You really want this interview, don't you?
0:43:00 > 0:43:02No. It's Dylan that wants you.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04Frankly, I could do without this hassle.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07You know how to flatter a man.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09Well, the people who've given you lifts, they're all phoning in -
0:43:09 > 0:43:11you've become a popular item.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14I can see it on my gravestone now -
0:43:14 > 0:43:17"Here lies Tony Hawks - popular item."
0:43:17 > 0:43:19CAR GRINDS
0:43:19 > 0:43:21That doesn't sound good.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24CAR GRINDS, THEN STALLS
0:43:24 > 0:43:26That ISN'T good.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29You've a problem with your transmission.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32Not good in a radio car.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34It'll take some sorting, too.
0:43:34 > 0:43:37You'll be lucky to get it back before tomorrow evening.
0:43:37 > 0:43:39So, where will you be staying tonight?
0:43:39 > 0:43:42I'm sorted - I'll stay with friends. What are you going to do?
0:43:42 > 0:43:43Oh, something will turn up.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46It might not. There's some music festival in town this weekend,
0:43:46 > 0:43:48everywhere will be booked up.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50It'll be OK - I have faith.
0:43:50 > 0:43:52Faith in what?
0:43:52 > 0:43:55Ah, that's the only bit I'm not sure of.
0:43:57 > 0:44:00Maybe it's as simple as having faith in the fridge.
0:44:00 > 0:44:04Faith in a fridge.
0:44:11 > 0:44:15- Oh, thanks a million. - Well, it's a crap sausage roll.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17You can't thank me a million.
0:44:17 > 0:44:19That leaves you nowhere to go, gratitude wise.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22More of a...thanks 82.
0:44:22 > 0:44:23Thanks 86, at most.
0:44:23 > 0:44:25Right, well thanks 86, then.
0:44:25 > 0:44:26You're very welcome.
0:44:29 > 0:44:31Given that you're a comedian,
0:44:31 > 0:44:33I expected you to be funnier than you are.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35Well, I'm saving you money.
0:44:35 > 0:44:40I'm a professional comedian - if I'm funny, I have to invoice you.
0:44:41 > 0:44:42So, are you married?
0:44:42 > 0:44:45God, no. Please!
0:44:45 > 0:44:47- Live-in boyfriend?- Uh-uh.
0:44:47 > 0:44:48- Boyfriend?- No!
0:44:48 > 0:44:51What is this, 20 feckin' questions?
0:44:51 > 0:44:53And what about you?
0:44:53 > 0:44:56Is this relationship with the fridge serious?
0:44:56 > 0:44:57Is it a gay thing?
0:44:57 > 0:45:01No, it is not a gay thing. I don't even know what sex it is.
0:45:01 > 0:45:05I've been travelling on my own for a while, I haven't got that desperate.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08No, I have no romantic attachments at present.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10Is that why you're here?
0:45:10 > 0:45:14What, you mean fleeing some broken romance?
0:45:14 > 0:45:17Well, I just don't buy this bet thing, or running from bad reviews.
0:45:17 > 0:45:19No, there's got to be more to it than that.
0:45:19 > 0:45:24Like, you're "looking for yourself" or some spiritual shite like that.
0:45:24 > 0:45:27See, there is a reason why I'm here.
0:45:27 > 0:45:30The same reason you're here with me.
0:45:31 > 0:45:33And that is?
0:45:34 > 0:45:36Your radio car is shit.
0:45:44 > 0:45:46I know, love. I know.
0:45:46 > 0:45:50I know. I love you, too - OK, I have to go, bye bye.
0:45:53 > 0:45:54Well...
0:45:54 > 0:45:56All the hotels are full up.
0:45:56 > 0:45:59What did I tell you? Right - come on.
0:45:59 > 0:46:03We're going to have to figure out what to do with you, but first...
0:46:11 > 0:46:12What's that?
0:46:12 > 0:46:14It's a duck egg.
0:46:14 > 0:46:16How much is it?
0:46:16 > 0:46:17What do you want a duck egg for?
0:46:17 > 0:46:20I don't know - I just like the look of it. How much is it?
0:46:20 > 0:46:21Don't be so silly.
0:46:21 > 0:46:23You don't want a duck egg.
0:46:23 > 0:46:25I do. I want to buy this duck egg.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27- No, you don't.- I do.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29Now come on - what would you want with a duck egg?
0:46:32 > 0:46:34Well, I liked the look of it.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36Never mind about duck eggs.
0:46:36 > 0:46:38You should be trying to find a hotel.
0:46:38 > 0:46:39Something will turn up.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42Yeah? You couldn't even buy an egg when you wanted to.
0:46:42 > 0:46:45Yeah, well I worked out what happened there.
0:46:45 > 0:46:48He was a wise man - he knew I didn't really want a duck egg,
0:46:48 > 0:46:49so he didn't want to sell it to me.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52He's there to give people what they want, not what they don't want.
0:46:52 > 0:46:53And what is it that you want?
0:46:53 > 0:46:56I want to hitchhike round Ireland with a fridge.
0:46:56 > 0:46:59Why? I mean, really - cut the bullshit.
0:46:59 > 0:47:03Once there was an old man who wanted to get his fridge home.
0:47:03 > 0:47:06So he put it down by the side of the road, stuck his thumb out
0:47:06 > 0:47:08and had faith that someone would come along and help.
0:47:08 > 0:47:11You too can have faith in the fridge.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13Come on!
0:47:13 > 0:47:15Just come on!
0:47:25 > 0:47:28No, you're right - I don't want your duck egg.
0:47:28 > 0:47:32But if you could stay anywhere round here, where would you stay?
0:47:32 > 0:47:34Let me think.
0:47:34 > 0:47:36Well, there's always Anne-Marie's.
0:47:36 > 0:47:37DOORBELL RINGS
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Oh my God, it's you!
0:47:41 > 0:47:43They told us to look out for you on the radio.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46Will you be needing a room?
0:47:46 > 0:47:49I was fully booked and someone just cancelled on me.
0:47:49 > 0:47:50It's on the house, of course.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54Yeah, OK - now I do have faith in the fridge.
0:47:54 > 0:47:57And this must be Saiorse!
0:47:57 > 0:48:00We heard all about the christening and the blessing.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Bring her in - I'll show you to your room.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08Ready.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10What are you doing?
0:48:10 > 0:48:13Coming for a drink, like we said. Hear that bloke sing.
0:48:13 > 0:48:15Where's Saiorse?
0:48:15 > 0:48:16In my room.
0:48:16 > 0:48:18It's a Friday night. You can't leave her on her own.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Go on.
0:48:20 > 0:48:21Serious?
0:48:27 > 0:48:29The eagle has landed.
0:48:29 > 0:48:32Well, if it isn't the man with the fridge!
0:48:32 > 0:48:34Have youse heard about this fella?
0:48:34 > 0:48:36What are you drinking?
0:48:36 > 0:48:39Give him that pint there.
0:48:39 > 0:48:40Cheers.
0:48:40 > 0:48:41Cheers!
0:48:44 > 0:48:45That's yours as well, I'm afraid.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48I'd just like to congratulate you.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51- What for? - Well, take a look around.
0:48:51 > 0:48:54Everybody is having a great laugh about you and your fridge -
0:48:54 > 0:48:57you may not know it, but you're spreading joy.
0:48:57 > 0:48:59You don't think I'm a bit mad, then?
0:48:59 > 0:49:02Maybe you're sane and everybody else is mad.
0:49:05 > 0:49:06Here's your wallet.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09Little party trick of mine. Sort of close-up magic.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12Yeah, it's more close-up theft, isn't it?
0:49:14 > 0:49:15What are you having, Roisin?
0:49:15 > 0:49:18Honest to God, Bingo, I actually have to go.
0:49:18 > 0:49:20My friends were expecting me hours ago.
0:49:20 > 0:49:24Stay! Stay, Roisin, we could do some...Irish dancing - look.
0:49:25 > 0:49:27Jesus!
0:49:27 > 0:49:30Michael Flatfoot! No, I think that's proof I have to go.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33- Night. - Night, Tony - see you tomorrow.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36- Will you? - Well, I will if you want me to.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Yeah, I want you to.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40I'll call by your digs. Listen - don't drink too much...
0:49:40 > 0:49:43Well, you already have, so don't drink too much more.
0:49:43 > 0:49:48S'Bingo! There - him. Bingo.
0:49:48 > 0:49:50Winning the West of Ireland surfing Championships.
0:49:50 > 0:49:52Surfing, see!
0:49:52 > 0:49:56Now he's the kind of landlord you want in your local pub.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Put it away, Michael.
0:49:58 > 0:50:01You can surf round here? I've always wanted to try surfing.
0:50:01 > 0:50:04Yeah? I could get you a suit and you could give it a go in the morning.
0:50:04 > 0:50:07You're going to have to take the fridge with you.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09Oh no, you can't go surfing by yourself
0:50:09 > 0:50:11and not give the fridge a go.
0:50:11 > 0:50:13I mean, that wouldn't be fair, would it?
0:50:13 > 0:50:15I think Michael has a point.
0:50:15 > 0:50:17If you surf, the fridge surfs.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20Could you get that up on the board?
0:50:20 > 0:50:24- I suppose so.- There you are, then. - Right!
0:50:24 > 0:50:30Fellow drinkers of this grand public house - attention, please!
0:50:30 > 0:50:34Tomorrow morning, Bingo
0:50:34 > 0:50:37and our good friend Tony
0:50:37 > 0:50:40will go surfing -
0:50:40 > 0:50:42with the fridge.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47Ah, thanks.
0:50:53 > 0:50:54HE SNORES
0:50:58 > 0:51:00KNOCK AT THE DOOR
0:51:00 > 0:51:01Uh.
0:51:01 > 0:51:03KNOCKING
0:51:03 > 0:51:04< Tony.
0:51:04 > 0:51:05Uh!
0:51:08 > 0:51:10Jesus Christ.
0:51:10 > 0:51:11It smells like a...
0:51:11 > 0:51:14brewer's mop in here.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30Look at the state of you.
0:51:30 > 0:51:31Mm.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34Come on. Come on - shake a leg.
0:51:34 > 0:51:36Bingo is expecting you at the beach in ten minutes.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40You're going surfing, remember?
0:51:40 > 0:51:43Well, you and Saiorse - she's downstairs.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45She's all ready - she can't wait.
0:51:45 > 0:51:48No, no, no, no - that was just the drink talking.
0:51:48 > 0:51:49Yeah, it was -
0:51:49 > 0:51:53but now you're going to have the best hangover cure known to man -
0:51:53 > 0:51:55it's called the Atlantic.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Oh, my God, would you look at this!
0:52:07 > 0:52:12Before you make any remarks, can I just say that dignity is overrated.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14I think you look grand.
0:52:14 > 0:52:15No, he doesn't!
0:52:23 > 0:52:24Hang on.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26What is the plan, exactly?
0:52:26 > 0:52:30Well, I think we should wade in, balance the fridge on board,
0:52:30 > 0:52:33wait till the right breaker, and then, er...
0:52:33 > 0:52:35Ride her in on a decent wave.
0:52:35 > 0:52:37Right. Well, good luck with that, then.
0:52:42 > 0:52:45- All right, Tony?- Yes.
0:52:52 > 0:52:54OK - spin her around.
0:52:54 > 0:52:56OK. To me, yes?
0:52:56 > 0:52:59Careful, Tony. Careful.
0:52:59 > 0:53:02You know what, Peter? They are mad.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05Not so, Roisin - they're sane.
0:53:05 > 0:53:07It's the rest of us who are mad.
0:53:17 > 0:53:18Yes!
0:53:22 > 0:53:24It appears to be a fridge.
0:53:24 > 0:53:26Oh, a fridge, is it?
0:53:26 > 0:53:28Will I put that in the report?
0:53:28 > 0:53:30Not if you want that promotion.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:54:00 > 0:54:03Where is that sound coming from?
0:54:03 > 0:54:05Is that yours, Tony?
0:54:05 > 0:54:07No. It's Roisin's.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13Hello, Roisin's mum.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15It's Tony, a friend.
0:54:15 > 0:54:18No, she's not far away.
0:54:18 > 0:54:19Yeah, I'll give her the message.
0:54:19 > 0:54:22Important. Yep.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24OK, bye.
0:54:35 > 0:54:38"Kevin, you wouldn't believe it,
0:54:38 > 0:54:40"but the fridge is now a very competent surfer.
0:54:40 > 0:54:45"It was such an uplifting scene, a crowd gathered on the beach..."
0:54:46 > 0:54:49Am I disturbing you?
0:54:49 > 0:54:50No, I was just thinking.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52About what?
0:54:52 > 0:54:54You know - stuff.
0:54:54 > 0:54:56Big stuff or little stuff?
0:54:56 > 0:54:57What do you mean?
0:54:57 > 0:55:01Well, big stuff like why is there so much conflict in the world,
0:55:01 > 0:55:07or little stuff like, I wonder who's taller - Madonna or Princess Anne?
0:55:07 > 0:55:09Big-ish.
0:55:09 > 0:55:11Care to share?
0:55:11 > 0:55:14Not really. No, not just yet.
0:55:14 > 0:55:17So this turned out to be quite some journey.
0:55:17 > 0:55:20Have you given any thought to how you might like to end it all?
0:55:20 > 0:55:23End it all? I wasn't thinking of suicide just yet.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25No, no - end the journey.
0:55:25 > 0:55:27You could end it with a march or something.
0:55:27 > 0:55:28A march?
0:55:28 > 0:55:31Yeah - Dylan and I were thinking of a kind of triumphal entry -
0:55:31 > 0:55:35nothing too grand - Caesar enters Rome, that kind of thing.
0:55:35 > 0:55:38"Tony enters Dublin."
0:55:38 > 0:55:40We could get people to turn up
0:55:40 > 0:55:42with a domestic appliance of their choice.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45Consider it done - I'll square it with Dylan.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48How does a one-hour homecoming special sound,
0:55:48 > 0:55:50live from the Ulysses shopping mall?
0:55:50 > 0:55:52Sounds brilliant.
0:55:52 > 0:55:54Thanks for everything.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56It's nice to be appreciated. At last.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59Well, to use your own words, thanks a million.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02Are you planning on kissing me?
0:56:02 > 0:56:04I think it's a bit early.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06I don't normally stay up much later than this.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09- It's good for me.- There's a lot you don't know about me.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12I thought it'd be fun finding out.
0:56:12 > 0:56:16Well, you won't be getting any fun here - or at least
0:56:16 > 0:56:19until you buy me a meal that's worth 40 euro.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24Well, I think that's in the bag.
0:56:28 > 0:56:30Tony! Tony, wake up!
0:56:31 > 0:56:36- Why didn't you tell me to ring my mum?- Oh, shit. Sorry, I forgot.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39You forgot? You had other things on your mind!
0:56:39 > 0:56:41She said it was important, didn't she?
0:56:41 > 0:56:44Yeah. Well, maybe give her a call now.
0:56:44 > 0:56:48I already have. She was calling to tell me that my son was taken to hospital.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50Son - yes, my son!
0:56:50 > 0:56:53Kind of important. Though obviously not to you.
0:56:59 > 0:57:01OK, well... Bye.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04- Is he OK?- Oh yeah -
0:57:04 > 0:57:06he just fell down some stairs, the silly monkey.
0:57:06 > 0:57:09- How old is he?- Niall is seven.
0:57:09 > 0:57:10Seven? Wow.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12Well, I was young, things happen.
0:57:14 > 0:57:17Look, Roisin - I'm really sorry about the business with the phone.
0:57:17 > 0:57:19I'm sorry, I kind of turned on you there.
0:57:19 > 0:57:22You're a good man, Tony.
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Right. Well, I have to get back to Dublin now, so...
0:57:25 > 0:57:27Just give us a call.
0:57:27 > 0:57:30Will do and... Drive carefully in that thing.
0:57:34 > 0:57:39By the way, thanks for the most surreal weekend of my life.
0:57:41 > 0:57:43See you, Roisin.
0:57:43 > 0:57:44Safe home, now.
0:57:56 > 0:57:58Grand girl, eh?
0:57:58 > 0:58:00Came right out of the blue.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03Her having a kid, and all.
0:58:03 > 0:58:06Puts some fellas off, that kind of baggage.
0:58:10 > 0:58:13'Well, folks, Roving Roisin's been called back to Dublin
0:58:13 > 0:58:17'on a special assignment and don't forget, at Finnegan's,
0:58:17 > 0:58:20'the master butcher, all this week is their Festival of offal.
0:58:20 > 0:58:23'If you can find cheaper offal in Dublin, then you're OFFALLY lucky.
0:58:23 > 0:58:25Well, from your letters,
0:58:25 > 0:58:28it sounds like you've been having a great time.
0:58:28 > 0:58:30Yeah, we've been following your progress.
0:58:30 > 0:58:31It all sounds bloody hilarious
0:58:31 > 0:58:34and a triumphal entry on the 24th, eh? Brilliant.
0:58:34 > 0:58:38- Just get your money ready. - Yeah, yeah. Course, the kids haven't eaten for a fortnight,
0:58:38 > 0:58:39but your money's put by.
0:58:39 > 0:58:40That's what I like to hear.
0:58:40 > 0:58:43Listen, Kev - I've got to go, I'm checking out.
0:58:43 > 0:58:45- I'll call you in a couple of days. - All right, mate - see ya.
0:58:45 > 0:58:47Cheers, mate.
0:59:01 > 0:59:03I don't feckin' believe it.
0:59:03 > 0:59:04I've been listening to this fella for a month.
0:59:04 > 0:59:08- What do you mean?- I've been listening to him on Dylan Daley.
0:59:08 > 0:59:10- Been travelling round Ireland with a fridge.- What?
0:59:10 > 0:59:13That thing there.
0:59:13 > 0:59:15His fridge. His fridge! This is the fella with the fridge.
0:59:15 > 0:59:17This is the fella off the radio.
0:59:17 > 0:59:19The fella with the fridge.
0:59:19 > 0:59:23- What the feck do you mean? - I told ya - he's travelling round the country with his fridge.
0:59:23 > 0:59:25Why a fridge?
0:59:27 > 0:59:29So, Tony... Are you a bachelor, then?
0:59:29 > 0:59:31I am, yes.
0:59:31 > 0:59:33You're not married to your fridge, then?
0:59:33 > 0:59:36No, I'm not married to my fridge.
0:59:36 > 0:59:37Ah...
0:59:37 > 0:59:39You'll be fine, then.
0:59:39 > 0:59:41Fine to do what?
0:59:41 > 0:59:43To enter the bachelor festival.
0:59:44 > 0:59:48Not sure I like the sound of an "enter the bachelor" festival.
0:59:55 > 0:59:56Guy called Butch runs the hostel.
0:59:56 > 0:59:59Tell him Brian and Joel sent you. He'll find you a bed.
0:59:59 > 1:00:01Everywhere else will be full -
1:00:01 > 1:00:03bank holiday weekend, full of gobshites from Dublin.
1:00:03 > 1:00:07- Don't forget the bachelor festival. - Yeah, what am I actually meant to do?
1:00:07 > 1:00:10Just do a bit of a turn. Try and impress the ladies.
1:00:10 > 1:00:13Do well and you might get to cheat on your fridge!
1:00:13 > 1:00:17Look, I've told you before - the fridge and I are not together.
1:00:19 > 1:00:22Oh, don't be so sensitive.
1:00:26 > 1:00:28DOORBELL RINGS
1:00:28 > 1:00:30Could squeeze an extra bed in, I suppose.
1:00:30 > 1:00:33There's only six of them in here, good lads.
1:00:33 > 1:00:36Won't be in till the early hours, they'll be so pissed, they'll fall right asleep.
1:00:36 > 1:00:39Yeah, and start snoring and farting.
1:00:39 > 1:00:41There is that.
1:00:41 > 1:00:44- Who's that?- Karen.
1:00:44 > 1:00:46- Is she your girlfriend?- Nah.
1:00:46 > 1:00:49Girlfriend left a couple of months after we opened.
1:00:49 > 1:00:50Couldn't take the pressure.
1:00:50 > 1:00:53She did take the dog, though - which was a drag.
1:00:53 > 1:00:55I liked that dog.
1:00:55 > 1:00:58Nothing left of her but that dog house.
1:00:58 > 1:01:01A shrine to our failed relationship.
1:01:03 > 1:01:05Would you like to meet her?
1:01:05 > 1:01:06Well...
1:01:06 > 1:01:09You're welcome to have a pop!
1:01:09 > 1:01:10He's a bit of a celebrity.
1:01:10 > 1:01:13Actually, you do look familiar.
1:01:13 > 1:01:16It's that eejit I was telling you about who's bringing a fridge around Ireland.
1:01:16 > 1:01:20- Oh.- I'm putting him in with the Dublin boys.
1:01:20 > 1:01:24- Oh, yuck-oh.- Yeah, you know, Butch... I really don't think I can face that.
1:01:24 > 1:01:27I tell you, there's no other bed left in the place,
1:01:27 > 1:01:30unless you want to sleep with me, and I fart worse than they do.
1:01:30 > 1:01:32Hold on... There is someone else I can sleep.
1:01:32 > 1:01:34Ta-da!
1:01:34 > 1:01:37Leave it out! You can't sleep in there.
1:01:37 > 1:01:39It's just for one night. What's wrong with it?
1:01:39 > 1:01:43It's perfect - it's waterproof, secluded location.
1:01:43 > 1:01:46I'd lay money you wouldn't sleep in there.
1:01:46 > 1:01:50I bet you 20 cents I do sleep in that dog house tonight.
1:01:54 > 1:01:58Well, that seems to be settled, then. I'll get the mattress.
1:01:59 > 1:02:01I'll get some blankets.
1:02:03 > 1:02:06Karen? Are you doing anything later?
1:02:06 > 1:02:09It's just I'm doing a bit of a turn at the bachelor festival.
1:02:09 > 1:02:11You're brave. I always think that performing
1:02:11 > 1:02:14is like sticking your head in the jaws of a crocodile.
1:02:14 > 1:02:18It's easier than people think. I'm sure they'll be a nice crowd.
1:02:18 > 1:02:20Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!
1:02:27 > 1:02:30CHEERING
1:02:37 > 1:02:40BOOING
1:02:41 > 1:02:43WHISTLING
1:02:57 > 1:02:59LAUGHTER
1:03:01 > 1:03:02CHEERING
1:03:07 > 1:03:10You all right there, fridge fella?
1:03:10 > 1:03:12I'd just do about five minutes if I were you.
1:03:12 > 1:03:14Sure you're going to use the guitar?
1:03:14 > 1:03:18I think it's best. I thought I might do this...
1:03:18 > 1:03:21# If I had a dollar... #
1:03:21 > 1:03:25Seriously, the beer is on promotion, they've been drinking since noon.
1:03:25 > 1:03:28Some of those fellows haven't had a shag since the millennium, you know?
1:03:28 > 1:03:31This isn't some arts centre in Surrey.
1:03:31 > 1:03:33Performing is all about risk.
1:03:33 > 1:03:36Sticking your head in the jaws of a crocodile.
1:03:36 > 1:03:39You can stick it up its arse for all the good it'll do you out there.
1:03:39 > 1:03:44Why don't you just do that thing you did at the plastics awards last December?
1:03:44 > 1:03:46You were there?
1:03:46 > 1:03:47I...was the DJ.
1:04:04 > 1:04:07BOOING
1:04:11 > 1:04:15Patrick Quinlan. Give it up for Patrick Quinlan.
1:04:15 > 1:04:17Maybe he'll give it up, huh?
1:04:19 > 1:04:22Well, anyway, now - bachelors and spinsters of this parish,
1:04:22 > 1:04:27we have a special treat for you - he's a late entry, he's been travelling all round Ireland
1:04:27 > 1:04:30with his fridge, probably because nobody else wanted to...
1:04:30 > 1:04:34Look, anyway - he's been on the Dylan Daley show and everything,
1:04:34 > 1:04:37but we have him here tonight, so will you please welcome on stage,
1:04:37 > 1:04:41the one and please God, the only - the fridge fella!
1:04:41 > 1:04:44LONE CHEER
1:04:45 > 1:04:47Good evening..
1:04:47 > 1:04:51Um... I'm going to play a song.
1:04:58 > 1:05:01CHEERING
1:05:12 > 1:05:16'OK, Roisin, I understand you're on the trail of our fridge man, Tony.
1:05:16 > 1:05:18'That's right - we know where he is,
1:05:18 > 1:05:20'and we're gonna surprise him any minute.
1:05:20 > 1:05:23'This is live radio at its best, folks.
1:05:23 > 1:05:27'Just about to ring the doorbell at the hostel where he's staying.'
1:05:27 > 1:05:29DOORBELL RINGS
1:05:37 > 1:05:42I'm told by Butch, the hostel owner, that Tony actually chose to spend
1:05:42 > 1:05:46the night in a doghouse - he really is more crazy than we thought.
1:05:46 > 1:05:49The guy is a mentalist, Roisin, but we always knew that, eh?
1:05:49 > 1:05:52I'm approaching the doghouse, Dylan.
1:05:52 > 1:05:55Any second now I'm going to surprise him.
1:05:55 > 1:05:58Good morning, Tony, you're live on air...
1:05:58 > 1:06:01- Ah!- Jesus Christ!
1:06:01 > 1:06:04What is it? Roisin, are you all right?
1:06:04 > 1:06:06No, I'm...
1:06:06 > 1:06:08You bastard!
1:06:08 > 1:06:11- What?- No, not you!
1:06:11 > 1:06:17- You!- Roisin...- Right... Dylan - back to you in the studio
1:06:17 > 1:06:20for some music, or travel, or something.
1:06:20 > 1:06:22Right. Yes. OK.
1:06:22 > 1:06:25Great. Um... Let's have...
1:06:25 > 1:06:28This. OK, just played that - anyone?
1:06:31 > 1:06:34What is that? That doesn't help me. OK.
1:06:34 > 1:06:36Look, Roisin, it's not what you think.
1:06:36 > 1:06:39Well, I suppose it depends what you think.
1:06:39 > 1:06:42Come to think of it, it probably is. But the point is...
1:06:42 > 1:06:45- You slut. - Who's she calling a slut?
1:06:45 > 1:06:49- Well, me, I think. - Who is this, anyway?
1:06:49 > 1:06:51It's Roving Roisin from the Dylan Daley show.
1:06:51 > 1:06:56- Have we been on the radio? - No, she's just got here. You have just got here, haven't you?
1:06:56 > 1:06:57Of course I have.
1:06:57 > 1:07:01As if the nation wants to hear a couple of dogs rutting in a kennel.
1:07:01 > 1:07:03I am not a dog.
1:07:03 > 1:07:08- Then why are you sleeping in a doghouse?- Watch it! Where do you get off, lady?
1:07:08 > 1:07:11Hold on - you two are an item, aren't you?
1:07:11 > 1:07:13You're joking me?!
1:07:13 > 1:07:15You misunderstand, Karen.
1:07:15 > 1:07:19Yes, you are. I can see the way you're looking at each other.
1:07:19 > 1:07:20I'm out of here.
1:07:26 > 1:07:29Hold on a minute, I'm being cast as the villain of the piece.
1:07:29 > 1:07:32What's the meaning of turning up with a radio car
1:07:32 > 1:07:34and disturbing a man while he's trying to sleep?
1:07:34 > 1:07:37Sleep?! I doubt there was much sleeping going on in there.
1:07:37 > 1:07:39Faith in the fridge - you're a fraud, Tony.
1:07:39 > 1:07:42Using your fridge to get attention.
1:07:42 > 1:07:44Fridge Man. More like dirty old man!
1:07:44 > 1:07:47What right have you got to be annoyed? We're not dating!
1:07:47 > 1:07:49- Oh, we know why that is. - What are you talking about?
1:07:49 > 1:07:53Come off it, Tony, your face fell the moment you heard I had a son.
1:07:53 > 1:07:59You're one of those men who can't stand a woman with baggage.
1:07:59 > 1:08:02One that's actually lived a life before she met you.
1:08:02 > 1:08:04Well, do you know what? That's fine.
1:08:04 > 1:08:06Because I'm not interested in you - and you - well,
1:08:06 > 1:08:09you're certainly not interested in me.
1:08:09 > 1:08:11So you can carry on and you can do whatever it is
1:08:11 > 1:08:15you do do in a doghouse with some Aussie tart.
1:08:15 > 1:08:19Oi! Kiwi tart - get your facts right.
1:08:21 > 1:08:22You're a user, Tony.
1:08:22 > 1:08:25You used your fridge to get this girl
1:08:25 > 1:08:28and now you're using our show to revive your flagging career.
1:08:28 > 1:08:32Oh, oh - so that's how I'd revive a flagging career, isn't it?
1:08:32 > 1:08:34Of course - go on Irish radio!
1:08:34 > 1:08:37Can I remind you that it's you that's following me?
1:08:37 > 1:08:38I'm doing as I'm told.
1:08:38 > 1:08:42Well, you won't need to any more, because I don't think I want anything more to do with your show.
1:08:42 > 1:08:43Good!
1:08:56 > 1:09:00- Think you might be in the doghouse. - Will you just piss off!
1:09:16 > 1:09:20"Dear Kevin, I have decided to draw a halt to the dreadful media
1:09:20 > 1:09:24"attention I've been getting, with all its neurotic roving reporters.
1:09:24 > 1:09:27"After all, that wasn't what I came here for, was it?
1:09:27 > 1:09:30"And just because I've stopped the radio stuff,
1:09:30 > 1:09:32"that doesn't mean I'm on my own -
1:09:32 > 1:09:37"it's just as much fun as it ever was, it's just one non-stop party.
1:09:37 > 1:09:41"Not far to go now - victory will soon be mine.
1:09:41 > 1:09:44"And by the way, well done for staying with Nicola
1:09:44 > 1:09:46"for so long - how do you do that?"
1:09:48 > 1:09:50All Ireland Radio?
1:09:50 > 1:09:53Hello? Can you put you through to Roisin Mulvaney,
1:09:53 > 1:09:55Dylan Daley show? Thanks.
1:10:10 > 1:10:13Oh, don't go on about it.
1:10:13 > 1:10:16I did phone, I just bottled it, that's all.
1:10:16 > 1:10:18Well, you do it, then.
1:10:24 > 1:10:26Geez - there you are.
1:10:26 > 1:10:29I've been looking all over the place for you.
1:10:32 > 1:10:35Hi. Can I get an urgent message to Dylan Daley?
1:10:35 > 1:10:39Tell him Peter called and everything is OK - I've got your man.
1:10:39 > 1:10:43I'll have him at the start on time, no problem.
1:10:43 > 1:10:46Yes. He'll know.
1:10:46 > 1:10:50Tell him to call me back. Thanks, bye.
1:10:50 > 1:10:53What was all that about? And what are you doing all the way down here?
1:10:58 > 1:11:00Dylan Daley's got half of Ireland out looking for you.
1:11:00 > 1:11:03He wants to cover your triumphant arrival in Dublin -
1:11:03 > 1:11:06- later this morning.- I won't be in Dublin later this morning.
1:11:06 > 1:11:11- You are now.- Hang on. - You have to go. Dylan Daley's got a huge crowd of people
1:11:11 > 1:11:13waiting to meet you. I'll drop you at the start
1:11:13 > 1:11:16and you lead a procession of people through the streets and end up
1:11:16 > 1:11:18in the Ulysses mall where there's a big celebration.
1:11:18 > 1:11:21What makes you think I want to go?
1:11:21 > 1:11:24One, the fridge journey is creating a lot of joy,
1:11:24 > 1:11:26and there isn't a lot of that about.
1:11:26 > 1:11:28Two, Roisin's name will be mud at AIR if you don't turn up,
1:11:28 > 1:11:32and three, I nicked your passport then, when I hugged you.
1:11:32 > 1:11:34If you don't do it, you'll have to stay in Ireland
1:11:34 > 1:11:37and live with me in a one-bedroom cottage, without central heating.
1:11:37 > 1:11:39So...
1:11:39 > 1:11:41This is coercion.
1:11:41 > 1:11:43That's a very harsh word.
1:11:43 > 1:11:46I prefer to call it, what's the term? Kidnapping.
1:11:46 > 1:11:50- Hang on, you can't kidnap me. - Oh, I think I can.
1:11:50 > 1:11:53No, you can't. If you kidnap me, I'll lose the bet.
1:11:53 > 1:11:55Being kidnapped is not the same as hitchhiking.
1:11:55 > 1:11:57I should know the difference by now.
1:11:57 > 1:12:01Fair point. Didn't think of that.
1:12:01 > 1:12:03What can we do about it?
1:12:08 > 1:12:12MEXICAN ACCENT: Eh, Gringo - do you want a lift in my motorcar?
1:12:12 > 1:12:16'We've finally located the Fridge Man. He's got his final lift
1:12:16 > 1:12:17'and he's on his way to Dublin.
1:12:17 > 1:12:21'Now, we've got a huge ceremony planned at the Ulysses centre,
1:12:21 > 1:12:24'where excited crowds are already gathering,
1:12:24 > 1:12:27'with well-wishers also congregating at the Meeting House Square -
1:12:27 > 1:12:29'the starting point for Tony's triumphal march through the city.
1:12:29 > 1:12:33'Don't forget to take a domestic appliance of your choice.'
1:12:33 > 1:12:36This traffic is shite. You're never going to make it.
1:12:36 > 1:12:39- Unless you get out and make a run for it.- What?
1:12:39 > 1:12:41Look...
1:12:41 > 1:12:43Meeting House Square is just right across the river.
1:12:43 > 1:12:45Well, go on with you!
1:12:45 > 1:12:48Go, ya eejit, go!
1:12:49 > 1:12:52'I just heard that the Fridge Man is here in Dublin.
1:12:52 > 1:12:54'Yes, dear friends, he has come amongst us.
1:12:54 > 1:12:56'Watch out for him
1:12:56 > 1:12:59'and give him a cheer as he proceeds majestically towards the starting
1:12:59 > 1:13:02'point for his triumphal procession through the streets with Saiorse.
1:13:02 > 1:13:04'All police leave has been cancelled
1:13:04 > 1:13:06'as whole areas of the city fall silent.
1:13:06 > 1:13:08'Those not hurrying towards the centre are at home,
1:13:08 > 1:13:11'glued to their radios for this special AIR broadcast.
1:13:11 > 1:13:15'Our hand-picked team have been preparing for this broadcast
1:13:15 > 1:13:18'for several hours and all the technical resources of AIR
1:13:18 > 1:13:20'have been marshalled for one of the most ambitious outside broadcasts
1:13:20 > 1:13:25'ever staged - can you imagine the scenes of hysterical excitement?
1:13:25 > 1:13:26'Any second now,
1:13:26 > 1:13:28'Tony will walk out into Meeting House Square
1:13:28 > 1:13:31'to join the assembled throng.
1:13:32 > 1:13:35'In association with Finnegans, the master butcher.
1:13:35 > 1:13:37'They'll be pleased to meet you, with meat to please you.'
1:13:53 > 1:13:56Ahem. Er...
1:13:56 > 1:13:59Is, er...that a fridge?
1:13:59 > 1:14:01It is.
1:14:01 > 1:14:03- Are you Jim?- Tony.
1:14:03 > 1:14:08Oh, I have to meet a Jim somebody. They said something about a fridge.
1:14:08 > 1:14:09Who did?
1:14:09 > 1:14:12All Ireland Radio.
1:14:12 > 1:14:16Hi, Tony. Jim here. AIR, the Dylan Daley show?
1:14:16 > 1:14:18Got my domestic appliance! You must be Mr O'Malley.
1:14:18 > 1:14:21Great - we've got to go, we've got 20 minutes to get to
1:14:21 > 1:14:24the Ulysses mall before Dylan goes off air. Come on!
1:14:24 > 1:14:26Hold on - there's no-one here!
1:14:26 > 1:14:28Don't worry about that. There'll be a big crowd waiting
1:14:28 > 1:14:30at the other end, OK? It'll be grand.
1:14:30 > 1:14:34Ah, he's just describing it now, as we speak - listen to that.
1:14:34 > 1:14:37'He came across the pond, a young man and his fridge,
1:14:37 > 1:14:40'searching for meaning and purpose in their lives.'
1:14:40 > 1:14:43Now, how are you at running with that fridge?
1:14:45 > 1:14:47Excuse me, excuse me. Thank you.
1:14:47 > 1:14:52And now, we take you live to James Conroy,
1:14:52 > 1:14:54who is on the ground with the man himself - Jimmy?
1:14:54 > 1:14:56You won't believe it, Dylan -
1:14:56 > 1:14:58people are come out in their thousands to meet the Fridge Man.
1:14:58 > 1:15:02It's a fine sight. They're carrying all manner of domestic appliances.
1:15:02 > 1:15:06As we march leisurely through the streets of Dublin.
1:15:06 > 1:15:10That's all for now, Dylan, we'll catch you later...
1:15:11 > 1:15:12That's the beauty of radio.
1:15:16 > 1:15:21So now, with this huge parade making its way majestically down Connor Street...
1:15:21 > 1:15:24we go over to Roving Roisin at the Ulysses Shopping Mall.
1:15:24 > 1:15:25Roisin?
1:15:25 > 1:15:28Good morning to you, Dylan.
1:15:28 > 1:15:31We have a huge crowd awaiting the arrival of Tony.
1:15:33 > 1:15:37This is his destination. His final port of call.
1:15:37 > 1:15:40People have travelled from all over Ireland to be here
1:15:40 > 1:15:43and the atmosphere is one of high expectation.
1:15:43 > 1:15:48A feeling of calm before the storm. There's tension in the air.
1:16:06 > 1:16:09Go on, go!
1:16:11 > 1:16:14We're all desperate to see Tony.
1:16:14 > 1:16:18And we're all desperate to hear you seeing Tony. Where is he?
1:16:20 > 1:16:23Here he is...running towards us.
1:16:23 > 1:16:26I only wish I could be there with you guys.
1:16:31 > 1:16:35- Hi.- Hi. You made it then. - Look, I've been thinking.
1:16:35 > 1:16:37There's some things I want to say.
1:16:37 > 1:16:42There's some things I'd like to say to you, too. But I can't say them on air and we are on air. Now.
1:16:42 > 1:16:43Come on.
1:16:45 > 1:16:48In these, the last few minutes of his epic journey, what thoughts
1:16:48 > 1:16:52must be swirling around the fevered brain of fridge man, Tony Hawks.
1:16:52 > 1:16:56As Confucius said, a march of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.
1:16:56 > 1:17:00Fair play to Confucius but he probably didn't have his fridge with him.
1:17:01 > 1:17:04He might have, but I don't think so.
1:17:04 > 1:17:06Tony Hawks has taken a domestic appliance
1:17:06 > 1:17:09on an odyssey to rival that of Homer.
1:17:09 > 1:17:12He accepted a fridge-based bet.
1:17:12 > 1:17:14A frigi-dare if you will.
1:17:14 > 1:17:17And he rose to the challenge taking
1:17:17 > 1:17:20the white good into uncharted territories.
1:17:20 > 1:17:23And so, ladies and gentlemen, the fridge man has arrived
1:17:23 > 1:17:25and it's down to Roving Roisin to take us through
1:17:25 > 1:17:28the final stages of this historic day.
1:17:28 > 1:17:32Let's have a big cheer for the fridge man.
1:17:32 > 1:17:39APPLAUSE
1:17:39 > 1:17:42Roisin, love, can you get Tony to say a few words, there, please?
1:17:42 > 1:17:45APPLAUSE
1:17:45 > 1:17:50Well I've realised over the past month of trundling my fridge
1:17:50 > 1:17:54round Ireland that it's the first time I've ever really been
1:17:54 > 1:17:58responsible for something or someone else.
1:17:58 > 1:18:02I've scolded and confided in Saiorse.
1:18:02 > 1:18:06I've eaten, slept, I'd even surfed with Saiorse
1:18:06 > 1:18:10and all the time you good people have entered into the spirit.
1:18:10 > 1:18:15You seem to accept the fact that in a way we're all pulling
1:18:15 > 1:18:17something along behind us.
1:18:17 > 1:18:18We've all got baggage.
1:18:18 > 1:18:22But you know what, you don't need to worry about the baggage.
1:18:23 > 1:18:26Because it's the baggage handler that counts.
1:18:28 > 1:18:32Thank you very much for that, Tony. Wise words from a complete twit.
1:18:32 > 1:18:36Now, let's not forget this whole absurd trip began as a drunken bet and Roisin,
1:18:36 > 1:18:40- I believe you have someone there ready to make good on that bet? - Indeed we do, Dylan.
1:18:40 > 1:18:44All the way from London, it's Tony's best friend, Kevin.
1:18:44 > 1:18:47APPLAUSE
1:18:49 > 1:18:54Oh, uh, Tony, I didn't think that you could do this.
1:18:54 > 1:18:58But I'm very pleased to say that you are a man who no longer needs
1:18:58 > 1:19:03golf clubs, miracles, babies or pizza
1:19:03 > 1:19:06because you have won yourself £100.
1:19:06 > 1:19:10That's great, Kevin, thanks. Now tell us, what happens next?
1:19:10 > 1:19:14Oh, right, well, obviously, a celebratory drink is in order
1:19:14 > 1:19:18then it's straight back to the airport. I booked a seat for the fridge, first class of course.
1:19:18 > 1:19:20At the cost of?
1:19:20 > 1:19:21£100.
1:19:23 > 1:19:25One thing remains.
1:19:25 > 1:19:29To bestow upon you the fridge magnet mayoral chain of office.
1:19:30 > 1:19:34Tony, Ireland now pronounces you its honorary fridge man.
1:19:36 > 1:19:40APPLAUSE
1:19:50 > 1:19:53RECORD PLAYS
1:19:58 > 1:20:01Well, I've certainly got to hand it to you guys.
1:20:01 > 1:20:03Talk about Irish blarney?
1:20:03 > 1:20:0620 people turn up and you make it sound like the Pope's in town.
1:20:06 > 1:20:10Very naughty but very funny, too.
1:20:11 > 1:20:14You know, not so long ago you said it was too early.
1:20:16 > 1:20:18It's much later now.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22Yeah, well it's still not the right moment.
1:20:22 > 1:20:25Nonsense. I've got a glass of champagne.
1:20:25 > 1:20:29You've got a glass of champagne. Saiorse's got a glass of champagne.
1:20:29 > 1:20:31That's not Saiorse any more.
1:20:31 > 1:20:33This is a fridge. Yeah?
1:20:33 > 1:20:36Look, Tony, the adventure, it's over, OK?
1:20:36 > 1:20:40It might come as a surprise but some people are actually back in the real world now.
1:20:40 > 1:20:42- Look, you don't understand. - What?
1:20:42 > 1:20:45This whole journey won't have meant anything if I'm not able to take
1:20:45 > 1:20:49what I've learned along the way and translate it into the real world.
1:20:49 > 1:20:53Just because it's over doesn't mean I have to lose faith in the fridge.
1:20:53 > 1:20:56Yeah? Well people who have faith, they believe in miracles.
1:20:56 > 1:21:00They tend to be really disappointed when they expect the whole world
1:21:00 > 1:21:04and they end up with, as you said, in your act, pizza.
1:21:07 > 1:21:10Look, Tony, what you said on air, it was, it was really lovely.
1:21:10 > 1:21:14But, no matter how much you like the baggage handler,
1:21:14 > 1:21:16there is also the matter of the baggage.
1:21:16 > 1:21:19In my case, it's my seven-year-old son,
1:21:19 > 1:21:22and I just don't think you could handle that.
1:21:24 > 1:21:26Bye, Tony.
1:21:28 > 1:21:29Bye.
1:22:00 > 1:22:03- Mr Hawks?- Yeah.
1:22:03 > 1:22:06That's where you live, is it? On an island?
1:22:06 > 1:22:10- That you have to row to and from? - Yeah, it is now. Cool, isn't it?
1:22:10 > 1:22:12Cold more like.
1:22:18 > 1:22:21By the way, don't take the motorway.
1:22:21 > 1:22:26- It'll take a lot longer if we don't. - Take the river road, more beautiful.
1:22:26 > 1:22:27I think it's quicker.
1:22:44 > 1:22:46- Who shall I make it out to?- Nick.
1:22:48 > 1:22:50- Cheers.- Thank you.
1:22:50 > 1:22:51Who's this one for?
1:22:51 > 1:22:54- Can you make it out to Niall? - Certainly.
1:22:55 > 1:22:57Actually, can you make it out to my mum?
1:22:57 > 1:23:00- Yeah, what's her name?- Roisin.
1:23:14 > 1:23:15Hi.
1:23:17 > 1:23:18Hi!
1:23:18 > 1:23:21How's it selling?
1:23:21 > 1:23:24Better than we thought. So, what are you doing over here?
1:23:24 > 1:23:27- Oh, I'm a mature student. - Get away!- Well, a student.
1:23:27 > 1:23:30I just started at uni, doing photography.
1:23:30 > 1:23:32I'm getting on OK.
1:23:32 > 1:23:35- I won a prize last month. Do you want to see the photo?- Yeah.
1:23:40 > 1:23:44You've done well because that's not the fridge's best side!
1:23:46 > 1:23:49- So you live in London now?- Yeah.
1:23:49 > 1:23:52So you'd be free for a drink then?
1:23:52 > 1:23:54Tony, I've got Niall with me.
1:23:56 > 1:24:00You didn't put absolutely everything in the book, I hope?
1:24:00 > 1:24:02Oh no, I left a few private moments out.
1:24:04 > 1:24:06Mind you, we could always put them in the film?
1:24:06 > 1:24:07Film? What film?!
1:25:10 > 1:25:13Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd