Shrek Forever After

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0:00:39 > 0:00:41Once upon a time, a long time ago,

0:00:41 > 0:00:45a king and queen had a beautiful daughter named Fiona.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48But she was possessed by a terrible curse.

0:00:48 > 0:00:52By day, a lovely princess. By night, a hideous ogre.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55Only true love's kiss could lift her curse.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58So Fiona waited in a tower, guarded by a dragon,

0:00:58 > 0:01:02until the day when her true love would arrive.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04But, as the days turned into years,

0:01:04 > 0:01:07the king and queen were forced to resort

0:01:07 > 0:01:08to more desperate measures.

0:01:10 > 0:01:12- Yah! - HORSES WHINNY

0:01:14 > 0:01:16HORSES SNORT AND PANT

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Hah! Yah!

0:01:30 > 0:01:32GATES CREAK

0:01:38 > 0:01:41CATS MEOW AND YOWL

0:01:45 > 0:01:47Oh!

0:01:47 > 0:01:49SHE PLAYS "DUELLING BANJOS"

0:01:58 > 0:02:00Whoa, there.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03I don't know about this, Lillian.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Fairy Godmother said only true love's kiss

0:02:05 > 0:02:07could break Fiona's curse.

0:02:07 > 0:02:11I don't trust that woman, Harold. This may be our last hope.

0:02:11 > 0:02:15Besides, he does come highly recommended by King Midas.

0:02:15 > 0:02:19But to put our daughter's life in the hands of this...person?

0:02:19 > 0:02:24He's devious. He's deceitful. He's...he's...

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Rumpelstiltskin!

0:02:26 > 0:02:27THUNDER CRACKS

0:02:27 > 0:02:28GOOSE HONKS

0:02:30 > 0:02:31Mrs Highness.

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Ugh... How...how do you do?

0:02:33 > 0:02:35GOOSE HISSES

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Down, Fifi. Get down!

0:02:38 > 0:02:41As you can see, everything's in order.

0:02:41 > 0:02:45So you'll put an end to our daughter's curse?

0:02:45 > 0:02:49And, in return, you sign the kingdom of Far Far Away over to me.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51THUNDER CRACKS

0:02:55 > 0:02:59- Lillian, this is madness! - What choice do we have, Harold?

0:02:59 > 0:03:03Fiona has been locked away in that tower far too long.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05It's not like she's getting any younger.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07But to sign over our entire kingdom?

0:03:07 > 0:03:11Well, if your kingdom's worth more to you than your daughter...

0:03:11 > 0:03:14NOTHING is worth more to us than our daughter.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Jump, Fifi, jump!

0:03:20 > 0:03:21Oh!

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Just sign it and all your problems will disappear.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31THUNDER CRACKS

0:03:33 > 0:03:34Ah...

0:03:37 > 0:03:41Your Highness! The Princess! She's been saved!

0:03:41 > 0:03:42THEY BOTH GASP

0:03:42 > 0:03:43Huh?

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Oh... Who saved her?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51No-one would have guessed that an ogre named Shrek,

0:03:51 > 0:03:53whose roar was feared throughout the land,

0:03:53 > 0:03:56would save the beautiful Princess Fiona.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59True love's kiss led to marriage and ogre babies!

0:03:59 > 0:04:02The kingdom of Far Far Away was finally at peace.

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Oh, goody for them(!)

0:04:03 > 0:04:06And they lived happily ever after!

0:04:07 > 0:04:10Er, sir? You're going to have to pay for that.

0:04:10 > 0:04:11Er...

0:04:11 > 0:04:14M-Maybe we could make a deal for it, little boy?

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Oh, I'm not a real boy.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Do you want to be?

0:04:18 > 0:04:19Argh!

0:04:19 > 0:04:20Oof!

0:04:20 > 0:04:24Nobody needs your deals any more, Grumpel Stinkypants!

0:04:26 > 0:04:28HE COUGHS

0:04:30 > 0:04:33I wish that ogre was never born!

0:04:38 > 0:04:40SQUEAKING

0:04:43 > 0:04:45CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER

0:04:45 > 0:04:46Wake up, Daddy, wake up!

0:04:46 > 0:04:48THEY GIGGLE

0:04:48 > 0:04:50- Good morning.- Good morning to you.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54THEY ALL BELCH

0:04:54 > 0:04:55Better out than in.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57Hey! That's my line.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Did my little Fergus make a...

0:05:00 > 0:05:03WHOA! ..big, grown-up ogre stink?!

0:05:03 > 0:05:07Oh, that's diabolical!

0:05:07 > 0:05:08Phew!

0:05:08 > 0:05:12And on your left, the lovable lug that showed us you don't have to

0:05:12 > 0:05:14change your undies to change the world!

0:05:14 > 0:05:15HE GROWLS

0:05:15 > 0:05:17I wonder what Shrek's up to in there.

0:05:17 > 0:05:21Get in there. Get... Impossible to put on!

0:05:21 > 0:05:25OK, the dragon goes under the bridge, through the loop...

0:05:25 > 0:05:28and, finally, into the castle.

0:05:28 > 0:05:29THEY BLOW RASPBERRIES

0:05:32 > 0:05:34- Play date!- Argh!

0:05:34 > 0:05:36# Winter, spring, summer or fall

0:05:36 > 0:05:38# All ya got to do is call! #

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Then Shrek kissed the Princess.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45She turned into a beautiful ogre and they lived...

0:05:45 > 0:05:47- ..happily...- ..ever...- ..after.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49THEY ALL CHEER

0:05:53 > 0:05:55Look! A shooting star!

0:05:57 > 0:05:59So, what did you wish for?

0:05:59 > 0:06:01That every day could be like this one.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Ah, come here, you.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05# One love

0:06:06 > 0:06:08# One heart

0:06:08 > 0:06:11# Let's get together

0:06:11 > 0:06:13# And feel all right. #

0:06:13 > 0:06:15DOLL SQUEAKS

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Morning, Daddy.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Morning.

0:06:19 > 0:06:20THEY BELCH AND FART

0:06:20 > 0:06:21Better out than in.

0:06:21 > 0:06:22BABY GIGGLES

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Did my little Fergus make a...?

0:06:25 > 0:06:27HE GURGLES

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Cute. Real cute.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32This lovable lug taught us

0:06:32 > 0:06:36you don't have to change your undies to change the world!

0:06:36 > 0:06:37- Play date!- Argh!

0:06:37 > 0:06:38# And I'll be there... #

0:06:38 > 0:06:39Ahh...

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Shrek! The outhouse is clogged up!

0:06:42 > 0:06:45She turned into a beautiful ogre and they lived...

0:06:45 > 0:06:46- ..happily...- ..ever...

0:06:46 > 0:06:47..after?

0:06:47 > 0:06:48THEY ALL CHEER

0:06:48 > 0:06:49SQUEAKING

0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Daddy, get up!- Morning.

0:06:53 > 0:06:54THEY BELCH AND FART

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Better out than in.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57This lovable lug...

0:06:57 > 0:06:59- Play date!- No!

0:06:59 > 0:07:01# You got a friend... #

0:07:01 > 0:07:02Outhouse again!

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Come on... Ow!

0:07:04 > 0:07:05THEY BELCH

0:07:07 > 0:07:08Undies!

0:07:08 > 0:07:10CHILDREN LAUGH

0:07:10 > 0:07:11FIONA: Outhouse!

0:07:11 > 0:07:12Get up, get up!

0:07:12 > 0:07:15- And they lived...- ..happily... - ..ever...

0:07:15 > 0:07:16- DRAINED:- ..after.

0:07:25 > 0:07:26HE SIGHS

0:07:31 > 0:07:34SHE SNORES SOFTLY

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Roar.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11Raaaaarrrr!

0:08:14 > 0:08:15HE SIGHS

0:08:17 > 0:08:20Woohoo!

0:08:22 > 0:08:25# Well, isn't is strange that your face is deranged

0:08:25 > 0:08:28# Yet I love when it laughs and it says my name?

0:08:28 > 0:08:29# Well, if you say it again

0:08:29 > 0:08:31# Well, it just might hang

0:08:31 > 0:08:35# And send you a telegram that dances and sings

0:08:35 > 0:08:36# Singin' la-la-la-ah-ah-ah... #

0:08:36 > 0:08:38HE GROWLS

0:08:41 > 0:08:43Oh!

0:08:43 > 0:08:45# Climbin' and climbin' and climbin' around

0:08:45 > 0:08:47# You finally hit your head on the ceiling

0:08:47 > 0:08:51# It's a regular dive and a shake and a smile

0:08:51 > 0:08:53# That can only express these things... #

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Nice landing, baby.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Hey! Now remember - don't eat the valet.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01Happy birthday, ninos! Vamos a la fiesta!

0:09:01 > 0:09:03Get...in...there...! Get...in!

0:09:03 > 0:09:05CROWD: Hey, Shrek, Shrek!

0:09:06 > 0:09:08Mr Shrek, would you sign our pitchforks?

0:09:08 > 0:09:10And our torches?

0:09:10 > 0:09:11Oh, man, you used to be so fierce!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Yeah, when you were a real ogre!

0:09:13 > 0:09:15A "real" ogre?

0:09:15 > 0:09:17# Happy birthday bash No more diaper rash

0:09:17 > 0:09:19# When you're older Your friends still remain the same

0:09:19 > 0:09:23# Super duper party pooper Birthday, birthday, birthday bash

0:09:23 > 0:09:25- ALL:- # Birthday bash Da-da-da-da-da! #

0:09:25 > 0:09:26THEY CHEER

0:09:26 > 0:09:29C'mon, Shrek, it's a sing-along. You've got to SING ALONG!

0:09:29 > 0:09:30No, thanks.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Please? I'll be your best friend.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Why does being your best friend

0:09:34 > 0:09:37entail me doing everything I DON'T want to do?

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Please, Felicia, not in Daddy's ear.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Excuse me, Mr Shrek?

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Could you do that ogre roar of yours for my son?

0:09:43 > 0:09:44He's a big, big fan.

0:09:44 > 0:09:45Do the roar.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48You know, I'd rather not. It's my kids' birthday party.

0:09:48 > 0:09:49Do the roar.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Er, honey?

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Why don't you go check on the cake? - Sure.

0:09:53 > 0:09:54And don't forget the candles.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55HE SIGHS

0:09:55 > 0:09:56Hold still.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Thanks for the pants, Muffin Man.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01I always wanted chaps! Yee-haw! Giddy up!

0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Ah, Monsieur Shrek.- Howdy, Shrek!

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Your cake. Voila!

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Oh, what is THAT supposed to be?

0:10:07 > 0:10:09That's Sprinkles the Ogre!

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Isn't he cute? He looks just like you.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14But happy. It's a party, Shrek. You gotta cheer up!

0:10:14 > 0:10:15I'm in a great mood, actually.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Oh, I'm going to lick me a rainbow! - Donkey!

0:10:18 > 0:10:20As long as you're not doing anything,

0:10:20 > 0:10:21how about a famous Shrek roar?

0:10:21 > 0:10:22Do the roar.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Let me set you straight, Butter Pants -

0:10:24 > 0:10:26an ogre only roars when he's angry.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29You don't want to see me angry, do you?

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Do it.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33Hold it together. Just hold it together.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Daddy, he's getting away. Do something.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Oh, good.

0:10:37 > 0:10:38SHE GASPS What happened to the cake?!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40Trust me. It's an improvement.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42- You licked it!- No.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Just because you're an ogre, doesn't mean you have to eat like one.

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Looks like you forgot the candles!

0:10:46 > 0:10:48- BALLOON POPS - Argh!

0:10:48 > 0:10:49OK, just watch the cake. I'll go get them.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Watch the cake?

0:10:51 > 0:10:52Argh! Where's the cake?!

0:10:52 > 0:10:53- We ate the cake.- Ja.

0:10:53 > 0:10:54What?

0:10:54 > 0:10:56- BABY CRIES - No, don't cry.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59Hey! I believe you promised my son a roar.

0:10:59 > 0:11:00- Do the roar.- Er, roar.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03- I don't like it. - Pigs, we need another cake.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04But we ate the other cakes.

0:11:04 > 0:11:05C'mon, man. One roar.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08Hey, everybody! Shrek's going to do his famous ogre roar!

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Not now, Donkey. Pigs, are there any cupcakes?

0:11:11 > 0:11:13- We ate them, too. - They have lollipops.

0:11:13 > 0:11:14No, I ate them.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17- You didn't share?- Well, you didn't share the croissants!

0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Everything's going to be OK. - Shrek, what's going on?

0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Come on, Shrek, your fans are waiting!- Do the roar.

0:11:22 > 0:11:23CRYING AND CHATTER

0:11:23 > 0:11:25We need the cake!

0:11:25 > 0:11:26BALLOON POPS

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Cake! Cake! Cake!

0:11:29 > 0:11:37ROOOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOOAR!

0:11:40 > 0:11:43THEY ALL CHEER

0:11:43 > 0:11:44I love you, Daddy.

0:11:44 > 0:11:47Everybody, I have found another cake!

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Shrek? Are you OK?

0:11:50 > 0:11:52- CROWD CHANTS:- Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

0:11:52 > 0:11:53Rargh!

0:11:53 > 0:11:54THEY ALL GASP

0:12:17 > 0:12:18Unbelievable.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Tell me about it! Those villagers...

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I'm not talking about the villagers, Shrek. I'm talking about you.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26Is this really how you want to remember the kids' first birthday?

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Oh, great. So this is all MY fault?

0:12:28 > 0:12:30Yes. But you know what?

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Let's talk about this after the party, at home.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35You mean that roadside attraction we live in?

0:12:35 > 0:12:40"Step right up! See the dancing ogre! Don't worry! He won't bite!"

0:12:40 > 0:12:44I USED to be an ogre. Now I'm just a jolly green joke!

0:12:44 > 0:12:48OK, OK, maybe you're not the ogre you used to be.

0:12:48 > 0:12:50But maybe that's not such a bad thing.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53I wouldn't expect you to understand. It's not like you're a real ogre.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56You spent half your life in a palace.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58And the other half locked away in a tower.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04Look, all I want is for things to go back to the way they used to be!

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Back when villagers were afraid of me,

0:13:06 > 0:13:08and I could take a mud bath in peace.

0:13:08 > 0:13:12When I could do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it!

0:13:12 > 0:13:15Back when the world made sense!

0:13:15 > 0:13:18You mean back before you rescued me from the Dragon's Keep?

0:13:18 > 0:13:19Exactly!

0:13:25 > 0:13:29Shrek, you have three beautiful children,

0:13:29 > 0:13:31a wife who loves you,

0:13:31 > 0:13:34friends who adore you.

0:13:34 > 0:13:35You have everything.

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Why is it the only person who can't see that is you?

0:14:02 > 0:14:04That's just great.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14If she thinks I'm going to slink back there and apologise,

0:14:14 > 0:14:17she's got another think coming. She's not the boss of me.

0:14:17 > 0:14:21I'm an ogre and I'm not going to apologise for acting like one.

0:14:21 > 0:14:25Help, please! Someone, anyone at all, help me!

0:14:25 > 0:14:27Please, help! Ohh...

0:14:27 > 0:14:29Please, help!

0:14:29 > 0:14:31I'm stuck! Help!

0:14:31 > 0:14:33Oh, please, help!

0:14:33 > 0:14:36Someone, anyone! Help me!

0:14:36 > 0:14:40The pain! I can see a bright light. A tunnel!

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Grandma? Is that you?

0:14:42 > 0:14:43Yeah, it's me, Granny.

0:14:43 > 0:14:47An ogre! Oh, please, Mr Ogre, please don't eat me!

0:14:47 > 0:14:49I'm not going to eat you.

0:14:49 > 0:14:52But you are an ogre... Aren't you?

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Yeah, well, I... I used to be.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Look, move out or get crushed.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59So you're not going to eat me?

0:14:59 > 0:15:04No, thanks. I already had a big bowl of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Hey, wait up! What's your rush? Where you going?

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Nowhere.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12What a coincidence! I was just heading that way myself.

0:15:12 > 0:15:17But, seriously, let me give you a ride. I insist.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21Come on. It's the least I can do after all you've done for me.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24I got a hot rat cooking.

0:15:24 > 0:15:25FIFI HONKS

0:15:26 > 0:15:29All right! Can I interest you in a mudslide? Slug and tonic?

0:15:29 > 0:15:32A liquid libation to ease that frustration?

0:15:32 > 0:15:36- Eyeball-tini?- Well, maybe just one.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41So the centaur says, "That's not the half I'm talking about."

0:15:41 > 0:15:42THEY LAUGH

0:15:42 > 0:15:45I gotta say, Shrek, I envy you.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48To live the life of an ogre... no worries, no responsibilities.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51You are free to pillage and terrorise as you please.

0:15:51 > 0:15:55- Free? That's a laugh.- Oh, yeah?

0:15:55 > 0:16:00Sometimes I wish I had just one day to feel like a real ogre again.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01Why didn't you say so?

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Magical transactions are my speciality! Come on.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08Oh, great(!) Next to mimes, magicians are my favourite people.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10- HE LAUGHS INSINCERELY - Hold on.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13King for a month... Knight for a week... Ah!

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Ogre for a day.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Think about it, Shrek. To be feared and hated.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23You'll be, like, "Roar!"

0:16:23 > 0:16:27And the villagers will be, like, "Get away! It's Shrek! I'm so scared of him!"

0:16:27 > 0:16:30It would be just like the good old days, when your swamp was your castle.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34When the world made sense.

0:16:34 > 0:16:36All right, what's the catch?

0:16:36 > 0:16:39Catch? No. There's no catch. No catchings, really.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42I mean, there's something. Small thing. Nothing. A little thing.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45All right, I knew it. So what do you want?

0:16:45 > 0:16:46- A day.- A day?

0:16:46 > 0:16:49- TIMER PINGS - Rat's done!

0:16:49 > 0:16:52To make the magic work, you gotta give something to get something.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55In this case, you gotta give a day to get a day. That's all.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58I can't just pick up and leave my family.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02But that's the best part, Shrek! It's a magical contract.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04No-one will even know you're gone.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06And by the time this day is up,

0:17:06 > 0:17:09you are going to feel like a changed ogre.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Still, I don't know.

0:17:12 > 0:17:16Hey, no problem. Forget it, no big D. Doesn't matter.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Hey, do you like white meat or dark meat?

0:17:20 > 0:17:23So what day would I have to give up?

0:17:23 > 0:17:25I don't know, any day. A day from your past.

0:17:25 > 0:17:28How about the day you had the flu? A day you lost a pet?

0:17:28 > 0:17:31A day some meddling oaf stuck his nose where it didn't belong,

0:17:31 > 0:17:34destroying your business and ruining your life?!

0:17:35 > 0:17:37Just for an example.

0:17:37 > 0:17:39How about the day I met Donkey?

0:17:39 > 0:17:41Now, there's a day I'd like to take back.

0:17:41 > 0:17:42THEY LAUGH

0:17:42 > 0:17:44I don't know who that is.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47I know. What about a day you wouldn't even remember?

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Like a day when you were a baby.

0:17:49 > 0:17:53An innocent, mindless little baby.

0:17:53 > 0:17:54Take any of those days you want.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Take them all for all I care.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59Oh, just one will do.

0:17:59 > 0:18:03OK, good. A day from your childhood it is.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06I guess there's nothing wrong with wanting a little time for myself.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08It's just 24 tiny little hours.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10- I'm still my own ogre!- Yeah, you is!

0:18:10 > 0:18:12I never needed to ask for anyone's permission before.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15So why start now, huh?

0:18:23 > 0:18:25Go on, Shrek.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27- Sign it! - RUMBLING

0:18:27 > 0:18:30- Go on, Shrek. - RUMBLING GETS LOUDER

0:18:30 > 0:18:31Sign it, Shrek! Sign it!

0:18:33 > 0:18:35You signed it.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37So, tell me. What happens now?

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Have a nice day.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40HE CACKLES

0:18:42 > 0:18:44Argh! Whoa.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Whoa!

0:18:49 > 0:18:51WHO-O-O-OA!

0:18:51 > 0:18:54Arrrrgh...!

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Oof.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58I think I fell on my keys.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00There are 40 children in that giant shoe,

0:19:00 > 0:19:03which is why the weasel goes pop to this very day.

0:19:03 > 0:19:04Oh, great.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06As we head over the river and through the woods...

0:19:06 > 0:19:08Ogre!

0:19:08 > 0:19:09THEY ALL SCREAM

0:19:15 > 0:19:17HE CHUCKLES

0:19:17 > 0:19:18Ahh...

0:19:21 > 0:19:25# Such a feeling's coming over me

0:19:25 > 0:19:30# There is wonder in most everything I see... #

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Kill the ogre! Kill the ogre!

0:19:33 > 0:19:35- RARRR! - THEY ALL SCREAM

0:19:36 > 0:19:40# Won't be surprised if it's a dream

0:19:41 > 0:19:43# Everything I want the world to be... #

0:19:43 > 0:19:45You may now kiss the bride.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49# Is now coming true especially for me... #

0:19:49 > 0:19:50RARR!

0:19:50 > 0:19:53# And the reason is clear

0:19:53 > 0:19:54# It's because you are near... #

0:19:54 > 0:19:56RARR!

0:19:56 > 0:19:59# The nearest thing to heaven that I've seen... #

0:19:59 > 0:20:01RARR!

0:20:01 > 0:20:03- # I'm on the top of the world... # - ROAR!

0:20:03 > 0:20:04- WHISPERS:- Roar.

0:20:04 > 0:20:06# Looking down on creation

0:20:06 > 0:20:10# And the only explanation I can find

0:20:10 > 0:20:15# Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around

0:20:15 > 0:20:19# Your love's put me at the top of the world... #

0:20:23 > 0:20:26This is the part where you run away!

0:20:26 > 0:20:30# It's the love that I've found ever since you've been around

0:20:30 > 0:20:33# Your love's put me at the top of the world. #

0:20:33 > 0:20:35HE LAUGHS

0:20:39 > 0:20:41HE SIGHS HAPPILY

0:20:43 > 0:20:44Oh!

0:20:44 > 0:20:46HE CHUCKLES

0:20:46 > 0:20:48Well, sure is great to be WANTED again.

0:20:48 > 0:20:50HE LAUGHS

0:20:50 > 0:20:51Ooh, nice one.

0:21:00 > 0:21:01Fiona?

0:21:11 > 0:21:12Oh, no.

0:21:26 > 0:21:27My home.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30Fiona!

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Fiona! Are you in there?!

0:21:39 > 0:21:40Argh!

0:22:11 > 0:22:14All right, Rumpel!

0:22:14 > 0:22:16This wasn't part of the deal!

0:22:19 > 0:22:20Rumpel!

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Ogre!

0:22:44 > 0:22:45THEY CACKLE

0:22:45 > 0:22:47We've got another one, ladies! Get him!

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Who are you?!

0:22:51 > 0:22:53What are you doing in my swamp?

0:22:56 > 0:22:57Argh!

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Looks like a troublemaker!

0:23:07 > 0:23:09HE COUGHS

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Spread 'em!

0:23:14 > 0:23:16Whoa!

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Nice job, ladies!

0:23:21 > 0:23:22Whoa!

0:23:25 > 0:23:30You witches are making a big mistake! I know my rights!

0:23:30 > 0:23:32You have the right to shut your mouth!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44DONKEY: # Just thinking about tomorrow

0:23:44 > 0:23:48# Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow till there's none

0:23:48 > 0:23:51# When I'm stuck with a day that's grey... #

0:23:51 > 0:23:54Donkey, stop with the singing, will you?

0:23:54 > 0:23:55# ..and grin... #

0:23:55 > 0:23:57Donkey! Ow! OW!

0:23:58 > 0:24:01# Oh, the sun will come out tomorrow

0:24:01 > 0:24:03# So you gotta hang on to tomorrow

0:24:03 > 0:24:05# Come what may

0:24:05 > 0:24:06# Tomorrow... #

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Donkey, where am I? What's happening?

0:24:08 > 0:24:11Quiet down there! Oh, I hate this song.

0:24:11 > 0:24:12Ai!

0:24:12 > 0:24:14# But I've made up my mind

0:24:14 > 0:24:17# Oh, I'm keeping my baby, ooh... #

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Yeah, I'm driving, so I'm in charge of the music.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21Hey!

0:24:21 > 0:24:23Will you witches make up your mind, please?

0:24:23 > 0:24:24- Yah!- Argh!

0:24:24 > 0:24:28# No matter what they take from me

0:24:28 > 0:24:31# They can't take away my dignity! #

0:24:31 > 0:24:36Psst! Donkey? What's going on? Do you know where Fiona is?

0:24:36 > 0:24:37Ssh! Quiet, ogre!

0:24:37 > 0:24:39You're going to get me in trouble and I need this job.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41I am not going back to work for Old MacDonald.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44Tell me to E-I-E-I-O. "E-I-E-I-No!" That's what I said.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47Where are my babies? And where's your wife, Dragon?

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Look, I think you have me confused with some other talking donkey.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52I've never seen you before in my life.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55Never seen me before? Come on, Donkey!

0:24:55 > 0:24:57Hey, and how do you know my name anyway?

0:24:57 > 0:24:59It's me, Shrek. Your best friend?

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Ha! A donkey and an ogre friends?

0:25:02 > 0:25:04That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!

0:25:04 > 0:25:06SHREK SIGHS

0:25:06 > 0:25:09Can you at least tell me where they're taking me?

0:25:09 > 0:25:13To the same place they take every ogre. To Rumpelstiltskin.

0:25:13 > 0:25:15- Stiltskin!- I said quiet!

0:25:15 > 0:25:16Argh!

0:25:16 > 0:25:18# Hit me with your best shot

0:25:18 > 0:25:20# Why don't you hit me with your best shot? #

0:25:20 > 0:25:21WHIP CRACKS Argh!

0:25:21 > 0:25:23# Hit me with your best shot... #

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Oh, no.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39It's time to crumble!

0:25:39 > 0:25:43Place your bets! Place your bets! We start tout de suite!

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Yeah! Oh! Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Gingy?

0:25:52 > 0:25:54Gingy snap!

0:25:57 > 0:25:58There's one!

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Disgusting, filthy ogre!

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Hideous monster!

0:26:02 > 0:26:03Filthy, filthy creature!

0:26:03 > 0:26:06Disgusting creature!

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Move it!

0:26:48 > 0:26:51Don't worry, Donkey. I'll get us our lives back.

0:26:51 > 0:26:55Yeah, right. Put a little mustard on mine, Captain Crazy!

0:26:57 > 0:26:59DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:27:27 > 0:27:29STILTSKIN LAUGHS

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Mr Stiltskin?

0:27:34 > 0:27:36You got another customer.

0:27:36 > 0:27:39- Wolfie!- Yes, Mr Stiltskin?

0:27:39 > 0:27:40Bring me my business wig.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42Mr Stiltskin, please...!

0:27:42 > 0:27:43Ah-ah-ah-ah.

0:27:45 > 0:27:48- OK, go.- Please make me a real boy!

0:27:48 > 0:27:51Go away! Terms are in the details, balsa boy.

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Sayonara, termites! Hello, acne!

0:27:54 > 0:27:56Stiltskin!

0:27:57 > 0:27:58Oh, Shrek!

0:27:58 > 0:28:00THEY ALL GASP

0:28:00 > 0:28:01There he is!

0:28:01 > 0:28:03No! So close!

0:28:05 > 0:28:08Have I been waiting for you!

0:28:08 > 0:28:11Ladies, this is the guy

0:28:11 > 0:28:13that made all of this possible!

0:28:15 > 0:28:18So, tell me, how are you enjoying your day?

0:28:18 > 0:28:21All right, Rumpel, what's going on? What have you done?

0:28:21 > 0:28:24No, Shrek, it's not what I've done. It's what YOU'VE done.

0:28:24 > 0:28:28Thanks to you, the King and Queen signed their kingdom over to me.

0:28:28 > 0:28:29They would never do that.

0:28:29 > 0:28:34They would if I promised them all their problems would disappear.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38And then THEY disappeared!

0:28:38 > 0:28:40- THEY GASP - Oh! OH!

0:28:40 > 0:28:41BOTH: Nooo...!

0:28:46 > 0:28:48They would have done anything

0:28:48 > 0:28:50if they thought it would end their daughter's curse.

0:28:50 > 0:28:53- I- ended Fiona's curse!

0:28:53 > 0:28:55How could you when you never existed?

0:28:55 > 0:28:59You better start making sense, you dirty little man!

0:28:59 > 0:29:01Here, let me spell it out for you!

0:29:01 > 0:29:06You gave me a day from your past, a day you couldn't even remember.

0:29:06 > 0:29:10A day when you were an innocent, mindless little baby.

0:29:10 > 0:29:12HE HUMS "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

0:29:13 > 0:29:15You took the day I was born.

0:29:15 > 0:29:18No, Shrek. You gave it to me.

0:29:18 > 0:29:21Enjoy this while you can, Stiltskin, because when this day is up...

0:29:21 > 0:29:24But you haven't heard the best part.

0:29:24 > 0:29:30Since you were never born, once this day comes to an end, so will you.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36Where's Fiona?

0:29:36 > 0:29:37Where's my family?

0:29:37 > 0:29:40Silly little ogre. You don't get it, do you?

0:29:40 > 0:29:43You see, you were never born.

0:29:43 > 0:29:45You never met Fiona.

0:29:45 > 0:29:49Your kids...don't...exist.

0:29:49 > 0:29:51WITCHES CACKLE

0:29:51 > 0:29:54How's that for a metaphysical paradox?

0:29:54 > 0:29:56THEY ALL LAUGH

0:29:56 > 0:29:59Looks like you got exactly what you wanted!

0:29:59 > 0:30:02- Happy Ogre Day!- Rumpel!

0:30:02 > 0:30:04Oh, oh!

0:30:04 > 0:30:06HE ROARS Get him! Get him, witches!

0:30:16 > 0:30:19You know what'd help morale around here? Flip-flop Fridays.

0:30:19 > 0:30:22Feet be comfortable with the breeze on your toes.

0:30:22 > 0:30:23Whoa!

0:30:28 > 0:30:30Come on, girls!

0:30:40 > 0:30:44Lock all the doors, you worthless witches! Do it!

0:30:46 > 0:30:48I'll be right back, Donkey!

0:30:48 > 0:30:51I don't know you! I don't know him!

0:31:10 > 0:31:12I'm glad I'm not you.

0:31:15 > 0:31:18Argh! Help me! Help!

0:31:18 > 0:31:20Oh, no! Help!

0:31:28 > 0:31:30No, not my pretty ball!

0:31:31 > 0:31:33Whoa!

0:31:34 > 0:31:36Watch out!

0:31:47 > 0:31:49Wolfie?

0:31:49 > 0:31:51My angry wig.

0:31:59 > 0:32:02Help! I've been kidnapped by a deranged, unbalanced ogre!

0:32:02 > 0:32:04Donkey! Get off of me!

0:32:04 > 0:32:07Watch it with your pointy hooves!

0:32:09 > 0:32:10Oof!

0:32:10 > 0:32:11Oh...

0:32:13 > 0:32:16- Just take my wallet!- Hey! - Just take my wallet!

0:32:16 > 0:32:17I'm being ass-napped!

0:32:17 > 0:32:19Animal cruelty! Help!

0:32:19 > 0:32:21You need to calm down!

0:32:21 > 0:32:23I'm your friend.

0:32:23 > 0:32:26I'm not going to hurt you, all right?

0:32:26 > 0:32:28Good. I'm going to let go...

0:32:28 > 0:32:30right...now.

0:32:30 > 0:32:33Please! Eat my face last! Send my hooves to my mama!

0:32:33 > 0:32:35Donkey! You've got to trust me.

0:32:35 > 0:32:38- Why should I trust you?- Because...

0:32:38 > 0:32:40Because, er...

0:32:43 > 0:32:45OK.

0:32:48 > 0:32:53- OFF-KEY: - # Winter, spring, summer or fall

0:32:53 > 0:32:57# All you've got to do is call

0:32:57 > 0:33:00# And I'll be there Yeah, yeah, yeah

0:33:00 > 0:33:05# You've got a frie-e-e-end. #

0:33:16 > 0:33:18Aaaargh!

0:33:21 > 0:33:25Fine! Go ahead! Run away! Who needs you?

0:33:34 > 0:33:35DOLL SQUEAKS

0:33:45 > 0:33:47SQUEAK

0:33:57 > 0:34:00I've never seen an ogre cry.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07I'm not crying.

0:34:07 > 0:34:09It's nothing to be ashamed of. I cry all the time.

0:34:09 > 0:34:12Just thinking about my grandma, or thinking about baby kittens,

0:34:12 > 0:34:16or my grandma kissing a baby kitten, or a little baby grandma kitten.

0:34:16 > 0:34:18DONKEY SOBS

0:34:18 > 0:34:20- That is so darn sad. - I said, I'm not crying!

0:34:20 > 0:34:22Take it easy, I'm only trying to help.

0:34:22 > 0:34:24It's none of my business why you're upset.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27By the way, why are you upset?

0:34:27 > 0:34:30I was tricked into signing something I shouldn't have.

0:34:30 > 0:34:32You signed up for one of them time-shares, huh?

0:34:32 > 0:34:34No. I signed this.

0:34:34 > 0:34:35DONKEY GASPS

0:34:35 > 0:34:38You should NEVER sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin!

0:34:38 > 0:34:39Yeah, I got that.

0:34:39 > 0:34:41- His fine print is crafty.- I know.

0:34:41 > 0:34:44- His exit clauses are sneaky. - Yeah, I...

0:34:44 > 0:34:46- What did you say? - I'm talking about the exit clause.

0:34:46 > 0:34:48Used to be, you had to guess his name,

0:34:48 > 0:34:50but now EVERYBODY knows Rumpelstiltskin.

0:34:50 > 0:34:52Donkey, I've read the fine print.

0:34:52 > 0:34:54There's nothing about an exit clause in here.

0:34:54 > 0:34:56Well, you didn't expect him to make it easy for you.

0:34:56 > 0:34:58Here, let me show you how it's done.

0:34:58 > 0:35:00I didn't spend all that time around them witches

0:35:00 > 0:35:02without picking up a few tricks.

0:35:02 > 0:35:04Your tiny ogre brain couldn't begin to comprehend

0:35:04 > 0:35:06the complexity of my polygonic foldability skills.

0:35:06 > 0:35:08What are you doing?

0:35:08 > 0:35:11Hey, I can't get my origami on unless you back off.

0:35:11 > 0:35:14Thank you. OK, here's what you gotta do. You fold this piece here,

0:35:14 > 0:35:17make this letter match up here, bring this corner here,

0:35:17 > 0:35:21and if you do it just right, it will show you what to do. There!

0:35:21 > 0:35:23"Try Lou's Bliss."

0:35:26 > 0:35:27Who's Lou?

0:35:27 > 0:35:29Give me that!

0:35:34 > 0:35:36"True Love's Kiss."

0:35:38 > 0:35:41Hey, you have to take me to dinner first.

0:35:41 > 0:35:45"According to fairy-tale law, if not fully satisfied,

0:35:45 > 0:35:48"true love's kiss will render this contract null and void."

0:35:48 > 0:35:50Donkey, you did it!

0:35:50 > 0:35:52Oh, look at you!

0:35:52 > 0:35:56If Fiona and I share true love's kiss, I will get my life back!

0:35:56 > 0:35:59OK! This isn't a petting zoo! So where is this Fiona?

0:36:01 > 0:36:03Well, that's just it, you see.

0:36:03 > 0:36:04I don't know.

0:36:04 > 0:36:07When I lose something, I try to retrace my steps.

0:36:07 > 0:36:09So...where did you leave her last?

0:36:09 > 0:36:12The last time I saw her,

0:36:12 > 0:36:14I told her I wished I'd never rescued her.

0:36:16 > 0:36:18Oh, no.

0:36:18 > 0:36:19Shrek?

0:36:19 > 0:36:22Shrek! Shrek, wait! Wait, Shrek!

0:36:22 > 0:36:24What are you, crazy? That's the Dragon's Keep!

0:36:24 > 0:36:26They keep dragons in there! Argh!

0:36:28 > 0:36:29OK, yeah, fine! Go ahead!

0:36:29 > 0:36:32I'm going to just hang back here and find us some breakfast!

0:36:42 > 0:36:44Fiona!

0:37:17 > 0:37:19Oh, no.

0:37:29 > 0:37:32If I didn't save Fiona...

0:37:34 > 0:37:36..then who did?

0:37:46 > 0:37:49This is the favour Fiona was supposed to give me...

0:37:49 > 0:37:51on the day we met.

0:37:52 > 0:37:55It's a symbol of our love.

0:37:55 > 0:37:56Now smell it!

0:37:56 > 0:37:58Hey, man, get that dirty favour out of my face!

0:37:58 > 0:38:02Your nose is the only chance I have of tracking down my wife,

0:38:02 > 0:38:05so stop complaining and start smelling.

0:38:05 > 0:38:06Smell it! Get it! Away you go, girl!

0:38:06 > 0:38:08Do I look like a bloodhound to you?

0:38:08 > 0:38:10In case you haven't noticed, I'm a donkey, not a dog!

0:38:10 > 0:38:13If I was a dog, they'd call me Dog, not Donkey!

0:38:13 > 0:38:15And another thing... HE SNIFFS

0:38:15 > 0:38:17Wait a minute.

0:38:17 > 0:38:19I think I got something.

0:38:19 > 0:38:22- Whatever it is, it's sweet.- Fiona.

0:38:22 > 0:38:23Luscious and tasty.

0:38:23 > 0:38:26Hey! That's my wife you're talking about.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29Donkey!

0:38:30 > 0:38:32HE SNIFFS

0:38:32 > 0:38:35Yeah! Waffles!

0:38:35 > 0:38:38And I thought the Waffle Fairy was just a bedtime story.

0:38:38 > 0:38:42Sticky stacks of golden, syrupy deliciousness!

0:38:42 > 0:38:44Donkey! Don't eat that!

0:38:44 > 0:38:48There's a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest.

0:38:48 > 0:38:50Don't you find that a wee bit suspicious?

0:38:50 > 0:38:53Oh, you're going to... I'm just... What are you...?

0:38:53 > 0:38:55Bad Donkey! Mustn't.

0:38:55 > 0:38:59I said, don't! Don't! No! Get away from it.

0:38:59 > 0:39:01- You did.- Mmm... Ah!

0:39:01 > 0:39:03Uh-oh.

0:39:03 > 0:39:04Oh.

0:39:07 > 0:39:08Look out!

0:39:10 > 0:39:11Argh!

0:39:11 > 0:39:12- Donkey!- Ow!

0:39:12 > 0:39:14Are you OK?

0:39:14 > 0:39:15I'm fine.

0:39:15 > 0:39:17Argh!

0:39:17 > 0:39:18Donkey...

0:39:20 > 0:39:22Help! Help me!

0:39:22 > 0:39:25Hey, Shrek! Help!

0:39:48 > 0:39:49Watch your head.

0:39:49 > 0:39:50Hey, it's a new guy!

0:39:50 > 0:39:52Look at him, all dressed up in his Sunday vest.

0:39:52 > 0:39:54He's really tiny, isn't he?

0:39:54 > 0:39:56Yeah. Fate has delivered us a comrade-in-arms

0:39:56 > 0:39:58and for that, we are thankful. Suit him up!

0:39:58 > 0:40:01- Let's go, greenie. - Now, wait a minute!

0:40:03 > 0:40:04Oof! Ow!

0:40:04 > 0:40:07- Hey!- Here you go.

0:40:12 > 0:40:14- Welcome to the resistance. - "Resistance"?

0:40:14 > 0:40:16We fight for freedom...

0:40:16 > 0:40:18and ogres everywhere!

0:40:18 > 0:40:21HIS EARS TRUMPET

0:40:21 > 0:40:24THEY ALL TRUMPET

0:40:24 > 0:40:27THEY ALL CHEER

0:40:27 > 0:40:29I didn't know we could do that.

0:40:29 > 0:40:31Help! You can't eat me! I got the mange!

0:40:31 > 0:40:33I'm poisonous! I'm all poi...

0:40:33 > 0:40:36I'll take him! This order's to go.

0:40:36 > 0:40:38Hey! I haven't removed his giblets yet.

0:40:38 > 0:40:40Trust me, you don't want to eat this one.

0:40:40 > 0:40:43I go down smooth, but come out fighting!

0:40:43 > 0:40:45- Let go!- Don't make Mama mad.

0:40:45 > 0:40:46Your dinner is my friend!

0:40:46 > 0:40:48- Come on, guys! - I got to get the giblets out!

0:40:48 > 0:40:51- TRUMPETING - She's back.- There she is.

0:41:07 > 0:41:08Fiona!

0:41:09 > 0:41:12Oh, I'm so happy I found you!

0:41:13 > 0:41:16- SLOW-MOTION:- Oo-o-o-o-o-ow!

0:41:18 > 0:41:20Ugh...

0:41:20 > 0:41:21Maybe you missed orientation,

0:41:21 > 0:41:25but, for future reference, personal space is very important to me.

0:41:26 > 0:41:28You don't know who I am, do you?

0:41:28 > 0:41:29No.

0:41:29 > 0:41:31Brogan, I have news from Far Far Away.

0:41:31 > 0:41:34Gather the others and meet me in the war room. Fiona...

0:41:34 > 0:41:37Gretched, make sure everyone is prepared to move out tonight.

0:41:37 > 0:41:39- I need to talk to you.- What is it?

0:41:39 > 0:41:42OK, I know you don't remember me, but...

0:41:43 > 0:41:45..we're married. Hear me out.

0:41:45 > 0:41:48And at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet,

0:41:48 > 0:41:50the villagers wanted me to sign their pitchforks,

0:41:50 > 0:41:52and this boy kept saying, "Do the roar."

0:41:52 > 0:41:55Then I punched the cakes that the pigs ate and the next thing I knew,

0:41:55 > 0:41:57my donkey fell in your waffle hole.

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Right? Who's with me?

0:42:02 > 0:42:05Whoa. I guess I must have kicked him harder than I thought.

0:42:05 > 0:42:06LAUGHTER

0:42:06 > 0:42:08- Fiona, I need to...- Caw! Caw!

0:42:09 > 0:42:12Witches! All right, everyone, you know the drill!

0:42:12 > 0:42:14Fiona! Witches! Oh, no!

0:42:14 > 0:42:16- Witches! Witches!- Come on, now.

0:42:43 > 0:42:46Fiona, that's the third patrol today. We can't hide for ever.

0:42:46 > 0:42:49Trust me, Brogan. After tonight, we won't have to.

0:42:51 > 0:42:55- That's your wife?- That's my wife.

0:42:55 > 0:42:57Well, I see who wears the chain mail in your family!

0:42:59 > 0:43:01STILTSKIN SIGHS

0:43:01 > 0:43:05Some people like to look at the goblet as...as half empty.

0:43:05 > 0:43:10Me, I like to look at it as half full.

0:43:10 > 0:43:13We've gone from the bottom to the top, ladies.

0:43:13 > 0:43:17But we're not just an empire.

0:43:17 > 0:43:19We're a family.

0:43:19 > 0:43:23Everyone has got their cupcake? Cupcake, cupcake? Good. Yes? Baba?

0:43:23 > 0:43:24Good.

0:43:24 > 0:43:27Yeah, you know, we have put away a lot of ogres.

0:43:27 > 0:43:32And so one got away. Who cares? It's not a big deal.

0:43:32 > 0:43:34It doesn't matter to me.

0:43:34 > 0:43:36It's not like it's the end of the world.

0:43:38 > 0:43:41Except...funny thing.

0:43:41 > 0:43:44Now that I think about it, the ogre who got away is Shrek!

0:43:44 > 0:43:47And if he shares a kiss with Fiona by sunrise,

0:43:47 > 0:43:50it IS the end of the world! Our world!

0:43:50 > 0:43:52My empire!

0:43:52 > 0:43:54FIFI HONKS

0:43:54 > 0:43:55HE SIGHS

0:43:55 > 0:43:58But, as I was saying,

0:43:58 > 0:44:02I like to look at the goblet as half full.

0:44:02 > 0:44:03WITCHES WHIMPER

0:44:03 > 0:44:05Yelling makes me so parched.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07Would anyone care for some water?

0:44:07 > 0:44:09Wet your whistle?

0:44:09 > 0:44:12A clear, crisp, delicious glass...

0:44:12 > 0:44:15of agua purificada?

0:44:15 > 0:44:18Anybody's thirsty? Nobody's thirsty? No?

0:44:18 > 0:44:20Well, then does anyone care to tell me

0:44:20 > 0:44:23what it's going to take to get this ogre? You.

0:44:23 > 0:44:24Faster brooms?

0:44:24 > 0:44:26- No!- Pointier hats?

0:44:26 > 0:44:27No! You!

0:44:27 > 0:44:30Maybe we could hire a professional bounty hunter?

0:44:30 > 0:44:33Argh! What a world! What a world!

0:44:34 > 0:44:38Hm. You know, actually not a bad idea. Baba!

0:44:38 > 0:44:40I need a bounty hunter.

0:44:40 > 0:44:43And if music doth soothe the savage beast...

0:44:43 > 0:44:46then I think I might know just the person!

0:44:48 > 0:44:53Listen up, everyone. Word has come from Far Far Away.

0:44:53 > 0:44:56Stiltskin is leading tonight's ogre hunt himself.

0:44:56 > 0:44:58- He's never done that before. - What? Why?

0:44:58 > 0:45:00- I bet that's because of us.- Ssh!

0:45:00 > 0:45:01If that cupcake-eating clown

0:45:01 > 0:45:05finally leaves the safety of his filthy witch nest...

0:45:05 > 0:45:06he'll be vulnerable.

0:45:06 > 0:45:10The plan's simple. If they follow the usual patrol route,

0:45:10 > 0:45:12they'll reach the river by midnight.

0:45:12 > 0:45:15We'll be concealed along this road, waiting for his caravan.

0:45:15 > 0:45:19Once they reach the clearing, I'll give the signal.

0:45:19 > 0:45:21And then we attack!

0:45:26 > 0:45:29And when the smoke clears... Wait, what's this?

0:45:29 > 0:45:31That's my chimichanga stand.

0:45:31 > 0:45:34Um... No, Cookie. We won't be needing that.

0:45:34 > 0:45:38Trust me, Fiona. Y'all going to be really hungry after this ambush, OK?

0:45:38 > 0:45:40Go and finish your little speech.

0:45:40 > 0:45:44All right, as I was saying, when the smoke clears,

0:45:44 > 0:45:48Rumpelstiltskin is gone and the chimichangas have been eaten,

0:45:48 > 0:45:51Far Far Away will finally be free.

0:45:51 > 0:45:52- And so will we.- Spread the word.

0:45:52 > 0:45:55We move out as soon as Rumpel leaves the palace.

0:45:58 > 0:46:00- Man, this is serious! - Tell me about it.

0:46:00 > 0:46:03How am I ever going to get her to kiss me before sunrise?

0:46:03 > 0:46:06- Actually, I was talking about the revolution.- Revolution?

0:46:06 > 0:46:08Why don't you just tell her what you told me?

0:46:08 > 0:46:11About how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe.

0:46:11 > 0:46:13While I'm at it, why don't I tell her

0:46:13 > 0:46:15that you're married to a fire-breathing dragon

0:46:15 > 0:46:18and you have little mutant donkey-dragon babies?!

0:46:18 > 0:46:20I do?!

0:46:20 > 0:46:22You saw what happened. She's going to think I'm crazy.

0:46:22 > 0:46:24I'm a daddy?

0:46:24 > 0:46:27You know what? If I got Fiona to kiss me once...

0:46:29 > 0:46:30..then I can do it again.

0:46:31 > 0:46:34Shrek, do my babies have hooves or talons?

0:46:34 > 0:46:35Donkey, ssh!

0:46:35 > 0:46:37Hello?

0:46:38 > 0:46:39Fiona?

0:46:45 > 0:46:48You should not be here, senor.

0:46:48 > 0:46:49Puss?

0:46:55 > 0:46:56You've gotta be kidding me.

0:47:00 > 0:47:02Oof!

0:47:02 > 0:47:04HE HEAVES AND GROANS

0:47:09 > 0:47:12Feed me, if you dare.

0:47:12 > 0:47:15Puss, what happened to you? You got so fa...

0:47:16 > 0:47:18..fa-ancy.

0:47:18 > 0:47:20Do I know you?

0:47:20 > 0:47:22Well, where's your hat? Where's your belt?

0:47:22 > 0:47:24Your wee little boots?

0:47:24 > 0:47:27Boots? For a cat? Ha!

0:47:27 > 0:47:30But you're Puss IN Boots.

0:47:30 > 0:47:32Maybe once.

0:47:32 > 0:47:33But that is a name I have outgrown.

0:47:33 > 0:47:35That's not the only thing you've outgrown.

0:47:35 > 0:47:39Hey! I may have let myself go a little since retirement,

0:47:39 > 0:47:42but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life.

0:47:42 > 0:47:45I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase.

0:47:46 > 0:47:48Eh, I'll get him later.

0:47:48 > 0:47:51Ah, Puss, what have I done to you?

0:47:51 > 0:47:53You've gone soft.

0:47:53 > 0:47:56Well, I do get brushed twice a day.

0:47:58 > 0:47:59Look, it's not too late to fix it.

0:47:59 > 0:48:02All you have to do is help me get a kiss from Fiona.

0:48:02 > 0:48:05- What are you doing?- Hey! - Can I help you with something?

0:48:05 > 0:48:08Well, I know how stressful mounting a rebellion can be -

0:48:08 > 0:48:10rallying the troops, planning attacks,

0:48:10 > 0:48:14so I brought you a little something to ease the tension.

0:48:14 > 0:48:15A gift basket?

0:48:15 > 0:48:18You're welcome. So let's see what you got.

0:48:18 > 0:48:21Heart-shaped box of slugs. Ooh.

0:48:21 > 0:48:23Skunk-scented candle. Mmm!

0:48:23 > 0:48:28- Look, this really isn't the... - What's this? Coupons!

0:48:28 > 0:48:30Let's see, "Good for one free foot massage.

0:48:30 > 0:48:32"A mud facial!" Oh, and here's one...

0:48:32 > 0:48:34"Good for one free kiss."

0:48:34 > 0:48:36Let's cash it now.

0:48:36 > 0:48:38Look, I don't know what this is all about,

0:48:38 > 0:48:40but I'm trying to run a revolution.

0:48:40 > 0:48:42So unless you have Rumpelstiltskin's head in there,

0:48:42 > 0:48:44I suggest you take your gift basket,

0:48:44 > 0:48:48get out of my tent and go make yourself useful!

0:48:48 > 0:48:53Wow. You're right. I am sorry.

0:48:53 > 0:48:56I was just trying to be friendly. No hard feelings?

0:48:57 > 0:48:58An apologetic hug?

0:48:59 > 0:49:01And a quick kiss goodbye.

0:49:01 > 0:49:02Ow!

0:49:02 > 0:49:03Hey! Ai! Argh!

0:49:03 > 0:49:06Wait! Is that mistletoe I see?

0:49:07 > 0:49:09Hey, Shrek! Are my babies cute,

0:49:09 > 0:49:11or do they make people feel uncomfortable?

0:49:11 > 0:49:14- Where did we find THAT guy? - Could it be true?

0:49:14 > 0:49:18Have the years of prim and pampery made me soft?

0:49:18 > 0:49:21Don't be silly. Now who's a pretty kitty?

0:49:21 > 0:49:22I am.

0:49:22 > 0:49:24FIFI HONKS AND HISSES

0:49:30 > 0:49:32Daddy thinks you look real nice, Fifi.

0:49:32 > 0:49:34FIFI HONKS

0:49:34 > 0:49:35Honk.

0:49:35 > 0:49:36All right, Piggies, be gone!

0:49:36 > 0:49:39Don't forget to take her little potty box with you.

0:49:39 > 0:49:41Ow! This little piggy wants to go home!

0:49:41 > 0:49:44Mr Stiltskin! He's here.

0:49:44 > 0:49:45Nice.

0:49:45 > 0:49:49FLOWING FLUTE MUSIC PLAYS

0:49:49 > 0:49:53RATS SQUEAK

0:49:58 > 0:50:00Pied Piper.

0:50:00 > 0:50:01How was your commute?

0:50:01 > 0:50:03HE PLAYS IN RESPONSE

0:50:03 > 0:50:04Ah. Good.

0:50:04 > 0:50:06You call this guy a bounty hunter?

0:50:06 > 0:50:09What's he going to do, flute those ogres a lullaby?

0:50:09 > 0:50:10WITCHES CACKLE

0:50:14 > 0:50:17HE PLAYS A JAZZ MELODY

0:50:17 > 0:50:20Wha...? Oh, no. Ohh! Oh...!

0:50:20 > 0:50:23- DANCE MUSIC STARTS - OK, got it!

0:50:23 > 0:50:25Whoa! Make it stop!

0:50:29 > 0:50:30All right, that's enough.

0:50:30 > 0:50:33WITCHES PANT

0:50:34 > 0:50:37Looks like it's time to pay the piper.

0:50:39 > 0:50:42Griselda, seriously, it's time to pay the piper.

0:50:42 > 0:50:45Now go get my chequebook! Go! Move! Get out!

0:50:45 > 0:50:48Things are getting real sloppy around here!

0:50:50 > 0:50:52Here, now make sure they eat up!

0:50:52 > 0:50:55You can't end tyranny on an empty stomach! Go on! Go!

0:50:55 > 0:50:57Din-din!

0:51:04 > 0:51:07- Come on, Donkey. - One more time, please?

0:51:07 > 0:51:09All right, all right, but this is the last time.

0:51:11 > 0:51:13Here it comes. Look at him.

0:51:13 > 0:51:15DONKEY SNORTS

0:51:15 > 0:51:16Urgh!

0:51:16 > 0:51:17OGRES ALL LAUGH

0:51:17 > 0:51:19I see you!

0:51:21 > 0:51:22# These eyes have seen a lot of love

0:51:22 > 0:51:25# But they never want to see another one like I had with you... #

0:51:25 > 0:51:28That's quite a friend you've got there.

0:51:28 > 0:51:30I can see why you haven't eaten him.

0:51:30 > 0:51:32Donkey! I hate to pull you away from your adoring public,

0:51:32 > 0:51:35but I'm not getting anywhere with Fiona.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38- I need your help! - Hey, everybody. Who wants dessert?

0:51:38 > 0:51:40ALL: Yeah!

0:51:40 > 0:51:42- Where'd you get these? - Fiona's garbage.

0:51:42 > 0:51:45Just another gift from some clueless lover boy.

0:51:45 > 0:51:47LAUGHTER

0:51:47 > 0:51:49That's a good one, Cookie!

0:51:49 > 0:51:52Anyone who knows Fiona knows this stuff ain't going to work on her.

0:51:52 > 0:51:54Works on me.

0:51:54 > 0:51:57Donkey, what am I going to do? It's like I don't even know her.

0:51:57 > 0:51:58You in trouble, Romeo.

0:51:58 > 0:52:00The only thing Fiona cares about is her cause.

0:52:00 > 0:52:03- To the cause!- ALL: To the cause!

0:52:03 > 0:52:05THEY ALL CHEER

0:52:05 > 0:52:07All right!

0:52:28 > 0:52:30Hello!

0:52:30 > 0:52:31Ai! It's...

0:52:32 > 0:52:35- Nice moves.- What are you doing?

0:52:35 > 0:52:38What does it look like? I'm getting ready for ambush action.

0:52:38 > 0:52:40Oh, yeah. I always like to quad my lutes

0:52:40 > 0:52:45and do some scrunches before an operational...op.

0:52:45 > 0:52:46This one taken?

0:52:46 > 0:52:48We use that to clean the toilets.

0:52:48 > 0:52:49Ah.

0:52:49 > 0:52:53And we use that one to clean the thing we clean the toilets with.

0:52:53 > 0:52:54I knew that.

0:52:55 > 0:52:56There you go, chief.

0:52:56 > 0:52:58Whoa.

0:53:01 > 0:53:03Whoa!

0:53:04 > 0:53:05HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

0:53:05 > 0:53:07Ohh!

0:53:07 > 0:53:09Ai! Oh!

0:53:12 > 0:53:15Hey, um...Scott?

0:53:15 > 0:53:17My name is Shrek, actually.

0:53:17 > 0:53:20You're going to get yourself killed at the ambush tonight.

0:53:20 > 0:53:24I'll be fine. I think I can take care of myse...

0:53:24 > 0:53:25Well, let's see about that.

0:53:25 > 0:53:28Hey! Hey... Hey!

0:53:28 > 0:53:30What the...?

0:53:30 > 0:53:31Yah!

0:53:31 > 0:53:32Ow...

0:53:32 > 0:53:33SHE GASPS

0:53:33 > 0:53:35Fiona?

0:53:35 > 0:53:36Oof!

0:53:36 > 0:53:40THEY GRUNT WITH EFFORT

0:53:40 > 0:53:41Arrgh!

0:53:41 > 0:53:42Ohh...

0:53:42 > 0:53:44Ho-ho!

0:53:46 > 0:53:47Ha!

0:53:47 > 0:53:48Oh...

0:53:48 > 0:53:50- SHE GRUNTS WITH EFFORT - Argh!

0:53:50 > 0:53:52SHE GIGGLES

0:53:54 > 0:53:56THEY LAUGH

0:54:06 > 0:54:07I got it.

0:54:07 > 0:54:09Give me your hand.

0:54:11 > 0:54:13The dragon goes under the bridge,

0:54:13 > 0:54:15through the loop and finally...

0:54:15 > 0:54:17..into the castle.

0:54:19 > 0:54:20# I do

0:54:20 > 0:54:23# Darlin', I do

0:54:23 > 0:54:25# Darlin, I do... #

0:54:25 > 0:54:26Wow.

0:54:26 > 0:54:28# ..see you. #

0:54:28 > 0:54:30OK. Good.

0:54:30 > 0:54:32It seems like you can handle yourself.

0:54:32 > 0:54:34- But, Fiona... - Now go get ready for the mission!

0:54:34 > 0:54:37- I will, but Fiona... - That's an order!

0:54:48 > 0:54:50All right, let's get those axes sharpened and weapons packed!

0:54:50 > 0:54:53Remember - preparation is half the battle!

0:54:53 > 0:54:55PUSS PUFFS

0:54:55 > 0:54:59Ogre! Un momento! Un momento!

0:54:59 > 0:55:01Ogre, ogre, un momento!

0:55:02 > 0:55:04Phew! Just give me a minute.

0:55:04 > 0:55:07Look, Puss, I'm a little pressed for time.

0:55:07 > 0:55:10I am not believing what I have just witnessed.

0:55:10 > 0:55:12Back there, you and Fiona.

0:55:12 > 0:55:15There was a spark - a spark inside her heart

0:55:15 > 0:55:16I thought was long extinguished.

0:55:16 > 0:55:21It was as if, for one moment, Fiona had actually found her true love!

0:55:21 > 0:55:25I AM her true love. I ended her curse.

0:55:25 > 0:55:26You know of her curse?

0:55:26 > 0:55:29By day, one way, by night another.

0:55:29 > 0:55:32This shall be the norm.

0:55:32 > 0:55:36Until you find true love's first kiss...

0:55:37 > 0:55:41..and then take love's true form.

0:55:41 > 0:55:44- PUSS GASPS - You even know the little rhyme!

0:55:44 > 0:55:46It is true! You are the one! You must prove it to her!

0:55:46 > 0:55:48- How?- Convince her!

0:55:48 > 0:55:50Go to her when she is alone

0:55:50 > 0:55:54and tell her something that only her true love would know.

0:55:54 > 0:55:56Know about what?! PUSS YOWLS

0:55:56 > 0:55:57PUSS HISSES

0:55:57 > 0:56:00Whoa! That's a whole lot of kitty! Shrek, can we keep him?

0:56:16 > 0:56:18Excuse me. Coming through!

0:56:18 > 0:56:21Pardon me, guys! Watch your back.

0:56:21 > 0:56:24Look, Donkey, the chimichanga cart! Quick!

0:56:24 > 0:56:27Andale! After him, burro! Com on, Donkey - vamonos!

0:56:27 > 0:56:29Man, you are a CAT-tastrophe!

0:56:29 > 0:56:31And YOU are ri-DONKEY-lous!

0:56:32 > 0:56:34THEY BOTH LAUGH

0:56:37 > 0:56:39I'll scout ahead. Wait for my signal.

0:56:44 > 0:56:46Secure your positions!

0:57:02 > 0:57:04- It's quite a view from up here. - What are you doing?!

0:57:04 > 0:57:05Get back in position!

0:57:05 > 0:57:09You need to know, once and for all, who I really am.

0:57:09 > 0:57:10You are going to ruin everything!

0:57:10 > 0:57:13Ruin everything? Actually, I'm going to fix everything -

0:57:13 > 0:57:15the ogres, Rumpel, your curse.

0:57:16 > 0:57:18How do you know about my curse?!

0:57:18 > 0:57:20OK, OK, please, Fiona...

0:57:20 > 0:57:23Just hear me out.

0:57:23 > 0:57:25I can explain everything.

0:57:29 > 0:57:31- Where's Fiona's signal? - What's she waiting for?

0:57:31 > 0:57:34- He's going to get away! - No, he's not.

0:57:46 > 0:57:49OGRES GASP

0:57:49 > 0:57:51FAKE GOOSE PEEPS

0:57:59 > 0:58:02Listen, I don't know who you are or how you know about my curse,

0:58:02 > 0:58:04but if any of these ogres find out I'm...

0:58:04 > 0:58:08- ..a beautiful princess? - That is not who I am! Not any more.

0:58:08 > 0:58:11- Look, I know you're upset. - You don't know anything about me.

0:58:11 > 0:58:13I know EVERYTHING about you.

0:58:13 > 0:58:16I know you sing so beautifully that birds explode.

0:58:16 > 0:58:18- Big deal.- I know that when you sign your name,

0:58:18 > 0:58:20- you put a heart over the "I". - So what?

0:58:20 > 0:58:23I know that when you see a shooting star,

0:58:23 > 0:58:26you cross your fingers on both hands, scrunch up your nose...

0:58:26 > 0:58:29and you make a wish.

0:58:29 > 0:58:31I know that you don't like the covers wrapped around your feet,

0:58:31 > 0:58:33and I know that you sleep by candlelight,

0:58:33 > 0:58:35because every time you close your eyes...

0:58:36 > 0:58:39..you're afraid you're going to wake up back in that tower.

0:58:41 > 0:58:42But, most importantly, Fiona...

0:58:44 > 0:58:47..I know that the reason you turn human every day...

0:58:49 > 0:58:52..is because you've never been kissed...

0:58:53 > 0:58:54..well...

0:58:56 > 0:58:57..by me.

0:59:06 > 0:59:08You move fast.

0:59:08 > 0:59:10It-It's not me doing the moving.

0:59:10 > 0:59:12ETHEREAL FLUTE MUSIC PLAYS

0:59:12 > 0:59:14- Why is this happening?!- Love?

0:59:14 > 0:59:17- No, I'm being forced to dance! - By love!

0:59:17 > 0:59:20No, I can't stop myself! FLUTE MUSIC GETS LOUDER

0:59:20 > 0:59:23Please! Make it stop!

0:59:23 > 0:59:25I can't control myself!

0:59:25 > 0:59:28THE PIPER PLAYS ON

0:59:28 > 0:59:32Whoo! Yeah! Cookie's bringing the heat out of the kitchen!

0:59:32 > 0:59:34Mm, yeah! Hoo-hoo!

0:59:34 > 0:59:36FIONA: Oh, no! It's the piper!

0:59:39 > 0:59:42I can't believe I let this happen, and it's all because of you!

0:59:42 > 0:59:46- If you'd just let me kiss you! - What? You're insane!

0:59:56 > 0:59:58HE PLAYS A RIFF

1:00:01 > 1:00:05We must do something before they fandango themselves into oblivion!

1:00:05 > 1:00:08- What can WE do? - First, you must stop dancing!

1:00:08 > 1:00:11When somebody tooties that flutey, I got to shake my booty!

1:00:11 > 1:00:13Then it's up to me!

1:00:13 > 1:00:14ARGH!

1:00:20 > 1:00:24Hurry! We must get them away from the music!

1:00:27 > 1:00:30Puss and Donkey to the rescue! We saved the day!

1:00:30 > 1:00:33THEY ALL SCREAM

1:00:53 > 1:00:54PUSS CLEARS HIS THROAT

1:00:54 > 1:00:57Er, Donkey... Can I borrow your tongue?

1:00:57 > 1:00:58Say what?!

1:00:58 > 1:01:00Uh-uh. No. Hell...

1:01:02 > 1:01:05I don't care how big your eyes get, player, it's not going down.

1:01:07 > 1:01:08Er...

1:01:10 > 1:01:12Aww... All right!

1:01:12 > 1:01:13Stop!

1:01:13 > 1:01:16- Where are you going? - To save my friends.

1:01:16 > 1:01:19- How?- By getting yourself killed? - If that's what it takes.

1:01:19 > 1:01:20Puss, say something.

1:01:20 > 1:01:22- Puss?!- Let me explain...

1:01:22 > 1:01:24That's how you knew so much about me.

1:01:24 > 1:01:27- Fiona, wait! Kiss me.- What?

1:01:27 > 1:01:29It's the only way to save your friends.

1:01:29 > 1:01:30Get out of my way.

1:01:30 > 1:01:34You used to believe that a single kiss could solve everything!

1:01:41 > 1:01:46MUSIC: "Fairytale" by John Powell and Harry Gregson-Williams

1:01:53 > 1:01:54MUSIC FADES

1:01:59 > 1:02:01I don't understand.

1:02:01 > 1:02:03This doesn't make any sense.

1:02:03 > 1:02:06True love's kiss was supposed to fix everything!

1:02:06 > 1:02:08Yeah, you know, that's what they told me, too.

1:02:08 > 1:02:10True love didn't get me out of that tower.

1:02:10 > 1:02:13I did. I saved myself.

1:02:14 > 1:02:18Don't you get it? It's all just a big fairy tale.

1:02:18 > 1:02:20Fiona, don't say that. It does exist!

1:02:20 > 1:02:22How would you know?

1:02:22 > 1:02:25Did you grow up locked away in a dragon's keep?

1:02:25 > 1:02:27Did you live all alone in a miserable tower?

1:02:27 > 1:02:30Did you cry yourself to sleep every night,

1:02:30 > 1:02:32waiting for a true love that never came?!

1:02:33 > 1:02:35But...

1:02:35 > 1:02:37But I'M your true love.

1:02:37 > 1:02:40Then where were you when I needed you?

1:02:52 > 1:02:55Maybe you kissed her...wrong?

1:02:55 > 1:02:56No.

1:02:56 > 1:02:58The kiss didn't work...

1:02:59 > 1:03:01..because Fiona doesn't love me.

1:03:04 > 1:03:07OGRES ALL SHOUT

1:03:07 > 1:03:09Don't despair, fellow ogres!

1:03:09 > 1:03:12They can put us in cages, but they can't cage our honour!

1:03:12 > 1:03:14PIPER PLAYS

1:03:14 > 1:03:17Shrek and Fiona are TOGETHER?!

1:03:17 > 1:03:19HE PLAYS NERVOUSLY

1:03:19 > 1:03:23Yeah, I've heard enough of your toot-a-lee-toots! You blew it!

1:03:23 > 1:03:24Wolfie! My speech wig.

1:03:24 > 1:03:29Baba! Ready my make-up. And, Piper, pull my socks up.

1:03:29 > 1:03:31- THE PIPER PLAYS - Whee!

1:03:31 > 1:03:32Tight.

1:03:32 > 1:03:34Attention, citizens.

1:03:34 > 1:03:38Please stay tuned for a message from our tyrannical dictator!

1:03:40 > 1:03:43Hello, people. It is I, Rumpelstiltskin,

1:03:43 > 1:03:45shepherd of your dreams.

1:03:45 > 1:03:47VILLAGER COUGHS

1:03:47 > 1:03:50Recently, a certain somebody

1:03:50 > 1:03:54has jeopardised our joyous lives.

1:03:54 > 1:03:59And that somebody is the rat-munching ogre called Shrek!

1:03:59 > 1:04:01That is why I come to you, dear citizens.

1:04:01 > 1:04:04For whomever brings me this ogre

1:04:04 > 1:04:08shall receive the deal of a lifetime.

1:04:08 > 1:04:10Just think of it! Total and complete happiness.

1:04:10 > 1:04:12Ja!

1:04:12 > 1:04:15Dazzling, radiant fulfilment! All your greatest wishes.

1:04:15 > 1:04:17- Yeah!- Your wildest dreams.

1:04:17 > 1:04:21Anything you could ever want! No strings attached!

1:04:21 > 1:04:22Ahh...

1:04:22 > 1:04:25But hurry, this is a limited-time offer.

1:04:25 > 1:04:31So light your torches, sharpen your pitchforks and get your mob on!

1:04:31 > 1:04:34- MOB CHANTS:- Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

1:04:37 > 1:04:39Go back where you came from!

1:04:43 > 1:04:45It seems that we are safe.

1:04:45 > 1:04:48Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky and torchy out there. Let's go.

1:04:48 > 1:04:52What's the point? The kiss didn't work. It's over.

1:04:52 > 1:04:54Look, Shrek, I know things might seem a little bleak right now,

1:04:54 > 1:04:57but things always work themselves out in the end, you'll see.

1:04:57 > 1:05:00- I bet by this time tomorrow... - Hey - don't you understand?

1:05:00 > 1:05:03There is no tomorrow. There's no day after that,

1:05:03 > 1:05:05and there's no day after that day after that!

1:05:05 > 1:05:09My life was perfect and I'm never going to get it back!

1:05:09 > 1:05:12If your life was so perfect, why'd you sign it away to Rumpelstiltskin?

1:05:12 > 1:05:16Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone! All right?

1:05:20 > 1:05:22I didn't know what I had.

1:05:22 > 1:05:24Uh! Ah! Ha!

1:05:24 > 1:05:28Surrender now! Ah! I'm taking you in!

1:05:28 > 1:05:32Don't try to fight it, ogre! The reward is mine!

1:05:32 > 1:05:34Gingy.

1:05:34 > 1:05:36- You unhand me, green devil! - What are you doing?

1:05:36 > 1:05:38Collecting my bounty!

1:05:38 > 1:05:40- Bounty?- What are you talking about, cracker?

1:05:40 > 1:05:43Rumpelstiltskin promised the deal of a lifetime

1:05:43 > 1:05:46- for whoever could bring you in. - Deal of a lifetime?

1:05:46 > 1:05:49Where all your wishes come true.

1:05:50 > 1:05:52Wait a minute.

1:05:52 > 1:05:55- I can still fix this. - How you going to do that?

1:05:55 > 1:05:56You know what?

1:05:56 > 1:05:59I'm going to give Rumpelstiltskin exactly what he wants.

1:05:59 > 1:06:01OK, Gingy, tell me about this...

1:06:04 > 1:06:06Oh.

1:06:06 > 1:06:08Were YOU going to eat that?

1:06:10 > 1:06:13STILTSKIN: Not Shrek. That is not Shrek. Also not Shrek.

1:06:13 > 1:06:16That's not even an ogre, it is a troll! Nice try.

1:06:16 > 1:06:17- And that...- Roar?

1:06:17 > 1:06:19..is just sad.

1:06:19 > 1:06:21And what is THAT supposed to be?

1:06:21 > 1:06:23I'm just a frightened old man.

1:06:23 > 1:06:26Don't listen to him! These ogres are crafty!

1:06:26 > 1:06:27That is your father painted green.

1:06:27 > 1:06:30No, it's Shrek! Honest!

1:06:30 > 1:06:31Ai! Ow!

1:06:31 > 1:06:32Take them away!

1:06:32 > 1:06:35Can no-one bring me Shrek?! Where is he?

1:06:35 > 1:06:38How hard can it be?! I want him! I want him! I want him!

1:06:38 > 1:06:39- DOOR BANGS OPEN - Stiltskin!

1:06:41 > 1:06:42I hear you're looking for me.

1:06:42 > 1:06:45STILTSKIN CHUCKLES All right! Finally!

1:06:45 > 1:06:49Who turned him in? Who gets the deal of a lifetime?

1:06:49 > 1:06:51- I- do.- What? But...

1:06:51 > 1:06:54- If I'm turning myself in, - I- get the deal of a lifetime.

1:06:57 > 1:07:01That means you have to give me anything I want.

1:07:01 > 1:07:04No! Only true love's kiss can break your contract!

1:07:04 > 1:07:06So if you thought you were just going to

1:07:06 > 1:07:08doo-doo-doo-doo-doo in here and get your life back...

1:07:08 > 1:07:11I'm not here to get my life back.

1:07:11 > 1:07:13Then what DO you want?

1:07:21 > 1:07:22PUSS YOWLS

1:07:24 > 1:07:26The ogres. They are all free.

1:07:26 > 1:07:28But where's Shrek?

1:07:33 > 1:07:34This is not good.

1:07:36 > 1:07:39I don't know. Not much of a storybook ending.

1:07:39 > 1:07:45"The noble Shrek turns himself in to save a bunch of filthy ogres."

1:07:45 > 1:07:49All that matters is that they're free...

1:07:49 > 1:07:51and Fiona is safe.

1:07:51 > 1:07:55Aww...I bet Fiona would be really touched to hear that.

1:07:55 > 1:07:57But, hey...

1:07:57 > 1:07:59I guess you can tell her yourself.

1:07:59 > 1:08:00WITCHES CACKLE

1:08:00 > 1:08:01Fiona!

1:08:10 > 1:08:14Stiltskin, we had a deal! You agreed to free all ogres!

1:08:14 > 1:08:16Oh, yeah.

1:08:16 > 1:08:20But Fiona isn't ALL ogre, is she?

1:08:23 > 1:08:28"By day, one way, by night another." Blardy, blardy, blar.

1:08:30 > 1:08:32Nobody's smart but me!

1:08:40 > 1:08:43That was a really brave thing you did, Shrek.

1:08:43 > 1:08:45Thank you.

1:08:45 > 1:08:48No, you were right.

1:08:48 > 1:08:50I wasn't there for you.

1:08:50 > 1:08:53And not just at the Dragon's Keep, but...

1:08:54 > 1:08:56..every day since.

1:08:57 > 1:08:58Well...

1:08:58 > 1:09:00you're here now.

1:09:03 > 1:09:05Let go of me! I have got to save Shrek!

1:09:05 > 1:09:06Don't be a fool, mule!

1:09:06 > 1:09:09She's right. Rumpel's palace is locked up tighter

1:09:09 > 1:09:10than Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard.

1:09:10 > 1:09:12And that cupboard wasn't guarded

1:09:12 > 1:09:15by a whole bunch of mean, ugly, nasty witches.

1:09:15 > 1:09:17- WITCH:- Hey! We can hear you!

1:09:19 > 1:09:20Sorry!

1:09:21 > 1:09:23We must get into the palace.

1:09:23 > 1:09:25Man, Shrek and me just busted out of that place!

1:09:25 > 1:09:26But how?

1:09:28 > 1:09:30The same way we're going to bust in.

1:09:35 > 1:09:39Yay! My new pretty ball! Didn't it look bigger in the catalogue?

1:09:39 > 1:09:41I guess it'll have to do.

1:09:46 > 1:09:51Witches, finally, the moment we've all been waiting for.

1:09:51 > 1:09:54The main event of the evening!

1:09:54 > 1:09:57I present Shrek and Fiona!

1:10:02 > 1:10:06And now, to put the past behind us once and for all,

1:10:06 > 1:10:09I give you a princess's worst nightmare!

1:10:09 > 1:10:13Fiona's old flame, the keeper of the keep...

1:10:13 > 1:10:15Dragon!

1:10:15 > 1:10:16SHE ROARS

1:10:27 > 1:10:31# Winter, spring, summer or fall

1:10:31 > 1:10:34# All you've got to do is call

1:10:34 > 1:10:37# And I'll be there Yeah, yeah, yeah... #

1:10:37 > 1:10:39- Donkey?- And Puss...

1:10:42 > 1:10:43..in Boots!

1:10:43 > 1:10:45HE TAPS RHYTHMICALLY

1:10:45 > 1:10:48TRUMPETING

1:10:49 > 1:10:50Wha...?

1:10:50 > 1:10:53BALL CREAKS

1:10:53 > 1:10:54WITCHES SCREAM

1:11:05 > 1:11:07DRAGON ROARS

1:11:09 > 1:11:10PUSS AND DONKEY SCREAM

1:11:13 > 1:11:14Get them, get them, witches!

1:11:16 > 1:11:18Incoming!

1:11:21 > 1:11:24- Donkey, woo her!- Woo who?

1:11:24 > 1:11:25Your wife!

1:11:25 > 1:11:27DRAGON GROWLS

1:11:29 > 1:11:30Ahh...

1:11:33 > 1:11:36MUSIC: "Hello" by Lionel Richie

1:11:38 > 1:11:39# Hello

1:11:41 > 1:11:44# Is it me you're looking for?

1:11:45 > 1:11:48# I can see it in your eyes... #

1:11:48 > 1:11:50- SHE SNORTS - Uh-oh.

1:11:50 > 1:11:52Ah, ha-ha!

1:11:52 > 1:11:53DRAGON ROARS

1:11:53 > 1:11:55Wahoo!

1:11:55 > 1:11:58I'll call you! We're in love!

1:11:58 > 1:11:59SHE BELLOWS

1:11:59 > 1:12:01Waa-ha! Whoa!

1:12:01 > 1:12:03PUSS YOWLS

1:12:09 > 1:12:11Fiona, hold on!

1:12:12 > 1:12:14Hey, you!

1:12:40 > 1:12:42Wha...? Huh?

1:12:42 > 1:12:45- Chimichangas?! - Get 'em while they're hot!

1:12:50 > 1:12:52DRAGON GROWLS

1:12:52 > 1:12:53FIONA: Jump!

1:12:56 > 1:12:57Now!

1:13:01 > 1:13:03Woohoo!

1:13:11 > 1:13:14The dragon goes under the bridge...

1:13:14 > 1:13:16..through the loop...

1:13:16 > 1:13:17..and, finally...

1:13:17 > 1:13:19- BOTH:- ..into the castle!

1:13:23 > 1:13:25SCREAMING

1:13:25 > 1:13:26Run!

1:13:32 > 1:13:34Foo!

1:13:35 > 1:13:37So long!

1:13:38 > 1:13:39FIFI HONKS

1:13:39 > 1:13:41Come on, Fifi, go!

1:13:41 > 1:13:42Go! Witches, close up the floor!

1:13:44 > 1:13:46Come on, Fifi, go! Flappity flap!

1:13:46 > 1:13:50Come on, go! Fly away! Up, up! Go!

1:13:50 > 1:13:52Fifi, no!

1:13:54 > 1:13:56Oh. Er...

1:13:56 > 1:13:58Victory is ours!

1:13:58 > 1:14:01THEY ALL CHEER

1:14:01 > 1:14:02THEY TAP A FLAMENCO BEAT

1:14:06 > 1:14:09Looks like we're having curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.

1:14:09 > 1:14:12Hey, we make a pretty good team.

1:14:12 > 1:14:14You have no idea.

1:14:21 > 1:14:24- Shrek?- Ugh...

1:14:24 > 1:14:25Ah!

1:14:25 > 1:14:28His day is up. His day is... Ack!

1:14:28 > 1:14:30Shrek?

1:14:31 > 1:14:32It's all right.

1:14:35 > 1:14:39There has to be something I can do.

1:14:39 > 1:14:42You've already done everything for me, Fiona.

1:14:42 > 1:14:45You gave me a home and a family.

1:14:45 > 1:14:47You have kids?

1:14:47 > 1:14:49WE have kids.

1:14:49 > 1:14:53Fergus, Farkle and a little girl named...

1:14:53 > 1:14:55- BOTH:- ..Felicia.

1:14:55 > 1:14:58I've always wanted to have a daughter named Felicia.

1:14:58 > 1:14:59And someday...

1:15:00 > 1:15:03- DOLL SQUEAKS - ..you will.

1:15:13 > 1:15:15You know what the best part of today was?

1:15:18 > 1:15:22I got the chance to fall in love with you all over again.

1:15:54 > 1:15:57Fiona, the sunrise!

1:15:57 > 1:15:59You're still...

1:15:59 > 1:16:00an ogre!

1:16:02 > 1:16:06- True love's form.- Impossible!

1:16:06 > 1:16:07The kiss worked.

1:16:07 > 1:16:09WIND HOWLS

1:16:09 > 1:16:11CRACKING AND RUMBLING

1:16:13 > 1:16:15What?!

1:16:21 > 1:16:24FIFI HONKS

1:16:24 > 1:16:25Fifi!

1:16:25 > 1:16:27Argh! Meow!

1:16:27 > 1:16:28Puss!

1:16:30 > 1:16:32No, no, no, no!

1:16:32 > 1:16:35No, not yet! I'm not ready! No, wait!

1:16:35 > 1:16:38HE SCREAMS

1:16:38 > 1:16:40..OO-OO-OO-OOAR!

1:16:44 > 1:16:46THEY ALL CHEER

1:16:49 > 1:16:50I love you, Daddy!

1:16:50 > 1:16:55- CROWD CHANTS: - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

1:16:58 > 1:17:01Everybody, I have found another cake!

1:17:01 > 1:17:03FIONA: Shrek? Are you OK?

1:17:09 > 1:17:11- Oh...- Ooh!- ..Fiona.

1:17:11 > 1:17:14I've never been better.

1:17:16 > 1:17:18Roar!

1:17:18 > 1:17:20- Rarr!- Roar!- Rarr!

1:17:20 > 1:17:21Oh...

1:17:22 > 1:17:23Happy birthday, Farkle.

1:17:23 > 1:17:25FARKLE GIGGLES

1:17:25 > 1:17:27Fergus, my little man!

1:17:27 > 1:17:31And Felicia, sweetheart, I believe this is yours.

1:17:31 > 1:17:33DOLL SQUEAKS

1:17:33 > 1:17:34Thank you, Daddy.

1:17:34 > 1:17:36Aww...

1:17:36 > 1:17:38Hey, Uncle Shrek! How about giving my babies an encore?!

1:17:38 > 1:17:40Please, senor, let us have it!

1:17:40 > 1:17:42CROWD CHEERS

1:17:42 > 1:17:45HE TRUMPETS

1:17:46 > 1:17:49CHILDREN TRUMPET

1:17:49 > 1:17:51THEY ALL CHEER

1:17:51 > 1:17:54- I didn't know we could do that. - That's my best friend!

1:17:54 > 1:17:56CHILDREN LAUGH

1:17:56 > 1:17:58You know, I always thought

1:17:58 > 1:18:01- that- I- rescued YOU from the Dragon's Keep.

1:18:01 > 1:18:02You did.

1:18:02 > 1:18:06No. It was you that rescued me.

1:18:06 > 1:18:08MUSIC: "Fairytale"

1:18:08 > 1:18:12CROWD CHEERS

1:18:25 > 1:18:29MUSIC: "I'm A Believer" By Weezer

1:18:29 > 1:18:33# I thought love was only true in fairy tales

1:18:35 > 1:18:38# Meant for someone else but not for me

1:18:41 > 1:18:42# Love was out to get me

1:18:44 > 1:18:45# That's the way it seemed

1:18:46 > 1:18:50# Disappointment haunted all my dreams

1:18:50 > 1:18:53# And then I saw her face

1:18:53 > 1:18:55# Now I'm a believer

1:18:56 > 1:18:59# Not a trace

1:18:59 > 1:19:01# Of doubt in my mind

1:19:02 > 1:19:03# I'm in love

1:19:04 > 1:19:06# I'm a believer

1:19:06 > 1:19:09# I couldn't leave her if I tried... #

1:19:11 > 1:19:13PIPER PLAYS

1:19:13 > 1:19:16# Then I saw her face

1:19:16 > 1:19:19# Now I'm a believer

1:19:19 > 1:19:20# Not a trace... #

1:19:20 > 1:19:21THEY TRUMPET

1:19:21 > 1:19:23# Of doubt in my mind

1:19:24 > 1:19:26# Then I saw her face

1:19:27 > 1:19:29# Now I'm a believer

1:19:30 > 1:19:33- # Not a trace... # - Yee-ha!

1:19:33 > 1:19:35- Yummy! - # Of doubt in my mind

1:19:35 > 1:19:36# I'm in love

1:19:36 > 1:19:38# I'm a believer

1:19:38 > 1:19:39# I'm a believer

1:19:39 > 1:19:40# I'm a believer

1:19:40 > 1:19:41# I'm a believer

1:19:41 > 1:19:43# I'm a believer

1:19:43 > 1:19:44# I'm a believer. #

1:19:51 > 1:19:56# For once in my life I have someone who needs me

1:19:56 > 1:19:59# Someone I've needed so long

1:19:59 > 1:20:04# For once, unafraid I can go where life leads me

1:20:04 > 1:20:08# And somehow I know I'll be strong

1:20:08 > 1:20:13# For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of

1:20:13 > 1:20:15# Long before I knew

1:20:16 > 1:20:20# Oh, someone warm like you

1:20:21 > 1:20:24# Would make my dreams come true

1:20:24 > 1:20:25# Yeah, yeah, yeah

1:20:25 > 1:20:30# For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me

1:20:30 > 1:20:32# Not like it's hurt me before

1:20:34 > 1:20:39# For once, I have something I know won't desert me

1:20:39 > 1:20:42# I'm not alone any more

1:20:42 > 1:20:47# For once, I can say This is mine, you can't take it

1:20:47 > 1:20:50# As long as I know I have love I can make it

1:20:50 > 1:20:55# For once in my life I have someone who needs me

1:20:55 > 1:20:58# Someone who needs me

1:20:58 > 1:20:59# Ha-ha, hey, yeah

1:20:59 > 1:21:02# Someone who needs me

1:21:02 > 1:21:03# Oh, I'm in love, baby

1:21:11 > 1:21:12# For once in my life

1:21:37 > 1:21:42# For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me

1:21:42 > 1:21:44# Not like it's hurt me before

1:21:46 > 1:21:50# For once, I have something I know won't desert me

1:21:50 > 1:21:53# I'm not alone any more

1:21:53 > 1:21:54# I'm not alone any more

1:21:54 > 1:21:58# For once, I can say This is mine, you can't take it

1:21:58 > 1:22:02# As long as I know I have love I can make it

1:22:02 > 1:22:07# For once in my life I have someone who needs me

1:22:07 > 1:22:09# Someone who needs me

1:22:11 > 1:22:15# For once in my life I have someone who needs me

1:22:15 > 1:22:18# Someone who needs me

1:22:18 > 1:22:19# For once in my life

1:22:19 > 1:22:22# Someone who needs me

1:22:22 > 1:22:24# For once in my life

1:22:24 > 1:22:25# Someone who needs me

1:22:25 > 1:22:27# Somebody that needs me... #

1:22:33 > 1:22:36# Ooh and it's all right and it's comin' on

1:22:36 > 1:22:40# We got to get right back to where we started from

1:22:40 > 1:22:41# Love is good

1:22:41 > 1:22:43# Love can be strong

1:22:43 > 1:22:46# We got to get right back to where we started from

1:22:46 > 1:22:50# Ooh-ooh, ooh

1:22:53 > 1:22:55# Do you remember that day

1:22:55 > 1:22:57# That sunny day

1:22:57 > 1:22:59# When you first came my way?

1:22:59 > 1:23:03# I said no-one could take your place

1:23:06 > 1:23:08# And if you get hurt

1:23:08 > 1:23:09# If you get hurt

1:23:09 > 1:23:12# By the little things I say

1:23:12 > 1:23:17# I can put that smile back on your face

1:23:17 > 1:23:21# Ooh, and it's all right and it's comin' on

1:23:21 > 1:23:24# We got to get right back to where we started from

1:23:24 > 1:23:26# Love is good

1:23:26 > 1:23:27# Love can be strong

1:23:27 > 1:23:30# We got to get right back to where we started from. #