0:00:02 > 0:00:05This film contains very strong language
0:00:08 > 0:00:12'I hated parties cos they were always full of people trying to have fun.'
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Some parents do, I think, have kids before, like,
0:00:16 > 0:00:19really thinking about it.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22It's like... Fucking shock.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25They weren't fucking ready for their fucking massive life change.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28And they're fucking torn between their kid,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31like loving him, and sort of having a grudge against it
0:00:31 > 0:00:35because that kid is the reason why they don't have a life any more.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Yeah.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41But all the kid's done is fucking got born and fucking eat
0:00:41 > 0:00:44- and shit and cry. - SNORTS
0:00:48 > 0:00:50It's like my phone. I got a contract,
0:00:50 > 0:00:52I was happy with my contract,
0:00:52 > 0:00:56just like how a parent starts out happy with their kid.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59But then I realised I wasn't getting a very good deal. £20 a month,
0:00:59 > 0:01:01seeing as I'm skint, is quite a lot.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06But by that point, it was too late. I signed a contract, 18 months. I have to go through with it.
0:01:06 > 0:01:10I start ringing up Orange customer services daily, giving them shit,
0:01:10 > 0:01:13saying this doesn't work and that doesn't work, lying to them,
0:01:13 > 0:01:15kept going for weeks and weeks,
0:01:15 > 0:01:18and after a while, they feel sorry for me.
0:01:18 > 0:01:23And then, they give me all this free stuff, free minutes and everything.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Brilliant.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Orange giving you extra minutes
0:01:32 > 0:01:37is the equivalent to a kid acting up, being a little fuck,
0:01:37 > 0:01:43and in return doing the fucking dishes to make up for it?!
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Yeah, but my kid didn't do anything wrong,
0:01:45 > 0:01:48it was just doing what it said on the contract,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50which I didn't fucking read.
0:01:50 > 0:01:51The stuff I told them was bullshit,
0:01:51 > 0:01:55made up so I could have more minutes and a fucking easier time.
0:01:55 > 0:01:56Basically...
0:01:56 > 0:02:01Just like a parent may be shouting at his kid to shut the fuck up because he wants an easier time.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04- Basically...- The real fucking problem was my contract
0:02:04 > 0:02:06and if I didn't fucking like that...
0:02:06 > 0:02:11- You shouldn't have fucking signed it. - You, with your contract,
0:02:11 > 0:02:16it explains all the information about that contract.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18But you just didn't read it.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23But with parents...
0:02:25 > 0:02:27...like they don't have a contract.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38'My name is Subaru.'
0:02:44 > 0:02:47'And my story begins
0:02:47 > 0:02:52'on one of many hungover mornings, I suppose.'
0:02:58 > 0:03:01'That's my Mum's shit garden.'
0:03:29 > 0:03:33'Yeah, this is just me, you know, on a regular day.
0:03:33 > 0:03:37'Coco Pops, and smoking a joint.'
0:03:42 > 0:03:43KNOCK ON DOOR
0:03:43 > 0:03:46'Tom-Tom is what I like to call a functioning addict.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50'He liked to get wrecked as much as I did, but at the same time,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52'he had a fit girlfriend and a job.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55'Could never get my head round it, personally.'
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Urgh... Oh!
0:03:58 > 0:04:03- You seen my fucking phone? - No. Why?- Fuck sake!
0:04:04 > 0:04:07- It's got my fucking fucking photos on it.- You and Becky?
0:04:07 > 0:04:10She don't know I fucking took half of them.
0:04:11 > 0:04:17- So yeah, I'm fucking working with my uncle now.- The Eagle?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20He had a fucking stroke and so he's now in a wheelchair
0:04:20 > 0:04:23so he can't like do anything himself, really.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26He just asked me if I'd give him a hand and I said yeah.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29I could have a word with Paul, get you a fucking job, sort you out.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32He'd definitely give you one. He IS the owner.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37- I ain't working at the fucking Eagle. - You're so fucking up yourself.
0:04:37 > 0:04:42- No, I'm fucking not. - There's no other reason apart from you think you're better than it.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Tom-Tom, stop being such a little bitch. You know what I mean.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Good on you for being less...
0:04:49 > 0:04:53proud than me, making a start and shit.
0:04:53 > 0:04:58- It would fucking kill me, mate. I wouldn't be up for it. Sorry, mate.- Don't apologise!
0:04:58 > 0:05:02We wouldn't want King Subaru walking round here with us fucking commoners, would we?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06- Even if he does still live with his fucking mum. - It's just not for me, mate.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Subaru, you haven't done fucking anything since we fucking left school, mate.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Apart from get fucking wrecked. You know what you fucking need to do?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18You know what you need to fucking do?
0:05:22 > 0:05:26Skin up, spark up, hurry up. Come on. Get on with it.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29- You get me some free shit? - You want booze?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I got up to my fucking elbow in your mum last night.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38- # Your man can't do what I can do! # - When was the last time you got laid?
0:05:38 > 0:05:41# Well, I'm RedFoo with the big ass 'fro, never wear lenses in my glasses, yo!
0:05:41 > 0:05:45- I told you, last night, with your mum.- # Mix it with the Bull if you wanna get loose! #
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Shoot it. Shoot it.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50BOTH: Smoking weed.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Morning, Mrs Kennedy.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Fuck!
0:06:15 > 0:06:18Fucking help, you ugly cunt!
0:06:19 > 0:06:22We're playing PlayStation. Fucking...sit normally.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25You look like you're trying to look relaxed.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27I'm not relaxed.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Just fucking look natural.
0:06:32 > 0:06:36No game. No fucking game. Pass me a fucking game.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40What are you up for?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44I'm not really up for a driver, more sort of a free-roam game.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47- I don't give a fuck! Give it here!- All right.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51- Why can't we just be fucking talking?- Cos she's not stupid.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55- And that's fucking gay.- You're gay. - Look at you, you look fucking stoned.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Boys! >
0:06:56 > 0:06:59I've made sandwiches.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Come in.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04- All right, Mum? - Yeah, I'm fine, sweetheart.
0:07:04 > 0:07:09- What have you been up to them? Hi, Tom-Tom.- Hiya.- Not a lot.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- MOANING - 'Yeah, fuck! Oh!'
0:07:12 > 0:07:16I just made cheese and lettuce but I've put it on that seeded bread
0:07:16 > 0:07:20that's more healthy and a few crisps.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24'Fuck me, oh yeah. Oh!'
0:07:27 > 0:07:31Sam, not all women will do the sorts of things
0:07:31 > 0:07:34that those women are doing. OK?
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- If you find yourself with a girl... - Go away.- OK.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42- I'm just saying, be considerate, OK? - OK.- I'll see you at tea.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- You can stop as well, if you like, Tom-Tom.- Thank you, Susan.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Todd? Come for your plate.
0:08:40 > 0:08:41You can come in.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- Made your favourite.- Thanks.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49Yeah. But exercises first.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51Up.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Hands.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Right. Here.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04Excellent. I think you might deserve some garlic bread with your lasagne.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Damn it! Turn around, face the wall.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20And I'll be back in two minutes.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23< You know the consequences if you move.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33'Sam, I need to talk to you.'
0:09:37 > 0:09:38KNOCK ON DOOR
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Sam!
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Wake up! Wake up!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49What the...
0:09:49 > 0:09:51'..is this'?
0:09:56 > 0:09:59- No.- Oh, no.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03I came up here to ask you...
0:10:03 > 0:10:06No, not even that...
0:10:06 > 0:10:08'to pitch the idea that perhaps
0:10:08 > 0:10:12'you could start helping me out a bit with money.'
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I already knew that you sat on your arse all day
0:10:15 > 0:10:18at the age of 20 doing nothing.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22I already knew that you didn't even try to help me!
0:10:22 > 0:10:26I can't do this on my own. That is an extra "fuck you"!
0:10:26 > 0:10:31As an extra fuck you to me, I come up here and find you high as a kite,
0:10:31 > 0:10:33smoking this shit!
0:10:33 > 0:10:39'Because if you can afford that, you can afford to contribute to living in my house!'
0:10:39 > 0:10:44'She was a good mum, but when she was bad, she was fucking grotesque.'
0:10:44 > 0:10:46I got it for free.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51He did, Susan, he got it off Richard Chapman last Tuesday.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53He's got a sort of deal going on.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56I know you lost your dad and yes,
0:10:56 > 0:11:01'that is terrible, but I lost my husband too!
0:11:01 > 0:11:04'And that doesn't give you the ticket to sit around here'
0:11:04 > 0:11:08with a chip on your shoulder, feeling sorry for yourself!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10'Shit does happen -
0:11:10 > 0:11:13'to everybody!'
0:11:13 > 0:11:17- DOOR SLAMS - 'When your dad was your age, he was out working every hour'
0:11:17 > 0:11:20God sends for next to nothing! For me!
0:11:20 > 0:11:25Your father would be disgusted with you.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Now leave!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Both of you!
0:11:29 > 0:11:31Give me your dirty clothes.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42You can go now.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Oh, can I(?)
0:11:45 > 0:11:48'Mate, I've heard it before. I know exactly what it sounds like.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53' "Oh, Tom-Tom. Get your fucking cock in my fucking asshole.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56' "Oh, my fucking god!" '
0:11:57 > 0:11:59No!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Hold out your hand.
0:12:04 > 0:12:09Now, we don't have open windows when you're in this room, do we, Todd?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11No.
0:12:11 > 0:12:18I only opened it so you didn't have to smell your old fucking sweat.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Because I'm a good and thoughtful mother.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26MUSIC: "Mean Mistreating Mama" by Leroy Carr
0:12:26 > 0:12:28# You're a mean mistreating mama
0:12:28 > 0:12:30# And you don't mean me no good
0:12:34 > 0:12:37# You're a mean mistreating mama... #
0:12:37 > 0:12:43I just don't see why I have to sacrifice all personal ambition just to work at the fucking Eagle.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Firstly, what personal ambition?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Secondly, maybe she just wants some fucking money off you. Fair enough.
0:12:51 > 0:12:57- Your fucking mum.- No. The only reason I want it is so I can get my bike.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Get my fucking wheels on the road. Get the fuck out of this shithole.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- Gay.- You have to work for the things you love.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Like, I love my bike. You know.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10What the fuck, what do you want? What do you like?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13I like to get stoned.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17HEAVY METAL PLAYS
0:13:34 > 0:13:37'Seeing Josh and his dad like that
0:13:37 > 0:13:41'really made me realise that every day was the same.'
0:13:42 > 0:13:45'When you hate the day that means you hate every day,
0:13:45 > 0:13:47'you just hate every day.'
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- All right, Sam?- 'I hated Emma.'
0:13:56 > 0:13:59What? 'She saw straight through me.'
0:13:59 > 0:14:01How you doing?
0:14:01 > 0:14:03You look like you feel like shit.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Just piss off.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09'And the reason why I still hated every day?
0:14:09 > 0:14:12'It's cos it still wasn't fair.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15'And that still wasn't a good enough reason
0:14:15 > 0:14:17'for my dad to be in the ground.'
0:14:17 > 0:14:20He was supposed to be staying at mine tonight.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Fuck's sake. I've fucking lost my phone.- Here, here. Use my phone.
0:14:25 > 0:14:30Nice one. Do you want some of this joint? Yeah, cheers.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32Fuck. Answerphone.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34WAVES CRASH
0:14:36 > 0:14:38CHILD'S CRIES REVERBERATE
0:14:46 > 0:14:48SCREAMING
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Mum!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55KNOCKING
0:14:55 > 0:14:58MUM!
0:15:12 > 0:15:15MUM!
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Stop being angry at me!
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Mum!
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Mummy!
0:15:26 > 0:15:27MUM!
0:15:33 > 0:15:35ENGINE STARTS
0:15:40 > 0:15:47'When I was five, I knew you were dead. And I got over it.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51'I got to about 11, and smoked a little bit of weed,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54'so at 14, 15,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57'I just realised you were dead all over again.
0:15:57 > 0:16:01'It just made me realise, what's the fucking point?
0:16:01 > 0:16:05'Life's too short to do anything.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07'Don't get me wrong, though.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11'I want to want to do something so fucking badly.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14'I just don't have any will to do anything any more.'
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Now I'm going to spend the rest of my life
0:16:18 > 0:16:21down the fucking Eagle with Tom-Tom.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23He's a fucking tool.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26He doesn't mind doing shit,
0:16:26 > 0:16:29just as long as he feels like he's at use.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32But that's his right.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34He can do whatever he wants. And Mum.
0:16:34 > 0:16:39I mean, if you were still around, nailing her three times a week,
0:16:39 > 0:16:42I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45You know, when I was young and I was naughty,
0:16:45 > 0:16:49my parents made damn sure that I was punished.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51Damn sure.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I hated them at the time, you know, I thought it was unfair
0:16:54 > 0:17:00but I know that it made me a better person and it taught me a lesson...
0:17:00 > 0:17:02MUFFLED RANT CONTINUES
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Oh, my love.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11You do support me, don't you?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13With what I'm doing?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Tell me!
0:17:20 > 0:17:25God, I miss you so much. Why can't you come home with me now?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Why did you love him so much?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32'I really did feel sorry for her.'
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Look where it got us.
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Look where it got you.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41- 'I knew exactly how she felt.' - I love you, Andrew.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44'To be so lost, you're looking harder for answers
0:17:44 > 0:17:47'in a piece of extremely expensive stone
0:17:47 > 0:17:49'than you ever did in real people.'
0:17:55 > 0:17:57SHE SNIFFS
0:17:57 > 0:17:59RUSTLING
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Todd? Got your breakfast.
0:18:16 > 0:18:20- How did you get outside? - It wasn't in a dream.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23You know you can't go out, don't you?
0:18:23 > 0:18:27You know you're grounded... until we're ready.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34I'm not, I'm just telling you about a dream.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38I don't, I don't even want to go outside.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40- I'm just telling you about...- Good.
0:18:40 > 0:18:45No, but I'm not going to... I don't even want to go outside.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Don't worry, I promise.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50You should be grateful, because I'm your mum and I love you
0:18:50 > 0:18:54and I look after you and cook you dinner and let you watch TV.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I am.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02No, you're not.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05I am.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07I...
0:19:07 > 0:19:09I, sorry.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14No, you're not. I've got to go.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- I'll be back at five o'clock, all right?- OK.- OK.
0:19:21 > 0:19:27- Now, what was it? - It was just a naughty dream.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- See you later.- Bye.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- Morning, Mrs Kennedy.- Morning.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47The next morning I headed down to the graveyard
0:19:47 > 0:19:50just to see what was getting her so bent out of shape.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58'I had fuck all else to do.'
0:20:06 > 0:20:12'I wear this mask because in it, I am fucking indestructible.'
0:20:12 > 0:20:14DISTORTED HEAVY METAL
0:20:21 > 0:20:23ANTIQUES ROADSHOW THEME
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- And where were you last night?- Out.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Me and a couple of mates got together, made some software.
0:20:29 > 0:20:34Called it Microsoft. I think we might make an extra couple of quid.
0:20:34 > 0:20:40- I got off my nut round Josh's house. - Get out!
0:20:53 > 0:21:00'Maybe Mrs Kennedy can understand me like my mum and Tom-Tom never did.'
0:21:11 > 0:21:14'Maybe Mrs Kennedy needed a friend.'
0:21:21 > 0:21:25FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Morning. Right. I'm late.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- See you later.- Mum.- What?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50I was wondering...
0:21:50 > 0:21:54if you could bring
0:21:54 > 0:21:59back...
0:21:59 > 0:22:03pictures of some ladies.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08Oh, right. Erm...
0:22:23 > 0:22:27'I woke up at 7:30am for the first time in over half a decade
0:22:27 > 0:22:31'to bother what appeared to be a grief-stricken widow.'
0:22:35 > 0:22:39I live below with my mum.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45I just thought it was quite strange cos I was down there myself.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47I was visiting my dad's grave.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51I wasn't like laughing or taking the piss or anything,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53I was just down there myself.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57Thank you very much. That is strange.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00How old's your son? Todd?
0:23:03 > 0:23:07I just thought, like, you know, how he dealt with it after the whole thing.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13He's fine. It all happened a long time ago.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17It was the same year my dad died, oddly enough.
0:23:17 > 0:23:23I thought I was the only person around here that has a dead dad.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25I'd quite like to talk to him
0:23:25 > 0:23:29and you and my mum can like start a widow's club or something.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35Todd's away at uni. He's been up there for about a year.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Then he's going for a job in America.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40That's really, really cool.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44I should get on that, really. Moving out and getting a job and stuff.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48It's just a bit hard without, like, an old man.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50You should mind your own business.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54I mean, look.
0:23:54 > 0:23:59I live by myself, I, I, I don't want people coming around.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01I don't like people interfering.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03It's been a pleasure to meet you.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25SUSAN: Your father would be disgusted with you.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29"How old's your son?" Dickhead.
0:24:34 > 0:24:38'As I sat there and sparked up a fat one,
0:24:38 > 0:24:42'I was confident Mrs Kennedy wasn't going to say anything to my mum,
0:24:42 > 0:24:45'make me sound like an emotional pussy or something.'
0:24:47 > 0:24:51'I was confident Mrs Kennedy wasn't going to say anything
0:24:51 > 0:24:55'to anyone about anything, ever.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58'Cos she's a fucking nutcase.'
0:25:10 > 0:25:13'Learning that Mrs Kennedy was a complete bitch
0:25:13 > 0:25:17'who didn't want to know me in the slightest,
0:25:17 > 0:25:21'whose son was doing something with his life after his dad had died,'
0:25:24 > 0:25:29'was a pretty shitty but inevitable surprise.'
0:25:36 > 0:25:40'I just needed a fucking smoke.'
0:26:06 > 0:26:09'That leaf was me,'
0:26:11 > 0:26:14'and all them other leaves were fucking cocksuckers.'
0:26:16 > 0:26:21'I remember thinking I needed some harder drugs or something,
0:26:21 > 0:26:23'cos I was a fucking mess.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27'Or maybe just to get laid. I wondered if there was a brothel.'
0:26:32 > 0:26:35"No. No. I live on my own."
0:26:36 > 0:26:40'I needed to know whose hand that was
0:26:40 > 0:26:43'so I left Subaru on the sofa, feeling sorry for himself.'
0:26:45 > 0:26:47KNOCKING
0:26:49 > 0:26:52'I had no room in my brain for sorrow any more.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56'It was all filled up with marijuana and the knowledge
0:26:56 > 0:26:59'there was someone in Mrs Kennedy's house while she was at work.'
0:27:01 > 0:27:05'I was Sam Reaux and I had fuck all else to do.'
0:27:14 > 0:27:18'Now these, these could've been nothing.
0:27:18 > 0:27:22'And if they were, I'd be joining that pathetic piece of shit Subaru
0:27:22 > 0:27:25'back on the sofa for another spliff.'
0:27:30 > 0:27:33'But I was too busy playing detective.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36'I didn't feel like a fucking piece of shit any more.'
0:27:42 > 0:27:44KNOCKING
0:27:47 > 0:27:50'What was I doing?'
0:27:50 > 0:27:52KNOCKING
0:28:00 > 0:28:03CONTINUES KNOCKING
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- Fucking hell!- Hello?- Erm...
0:28:05 > 0:28:07'I panicked.'
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Just got my ball, mate.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13I kicked it on the roof. My lucky ball.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15I'm from fucking downstairs.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18Can't play without it, mate.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20Erm, I'm going.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Don't go! What's your name?
0:28:23 > 0:28:26'I was way too stoned for confrontation.'
0:28:26 > 0:28:28Subaru.
0:28:28 > 0:28:33From downstairs. Sorry, I fucking kicked my ball on the roof.
0:28:33 > 0:28:38- I knocked all the doors. - You play football?- Sometimes.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40Where do you play?
0:28:41 > 0:28:45I dunno. Like, my garden or the park.
0:28:45 > 0:28:49I don't... Anywhere.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Erm, I'm going.
0:28:52 > 0:28:58Don't tell any...people that you are speaking to me.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00I don't understand, mate.
0:29:00 > 0:29:04- It's cos I'm grounded. - HE LAUGHS
0:29:04 > 0:29:08- Don't laugh, it's not funny. - 'He was odd.'
0:29:08 > 0:29:10Sorry, mate.
0:29:12 > 0:29:16- Are you, are you actually grounded? - Yes.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18'I thought I was getting a taste of that
0:29:18 > 0:29:21'smart-alec university sense of humour.
0:29:21 > 0:29:23'The kind you've got to pay £30,000 for.'
0:29:23 > 0:29:26- You just visiting?- Visiting?
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- Your mum?- No, I, I live here.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32Your mum told me you were at uni.
0:29:35 > 0:29:39- What's a uni?- 'This wanker clearly thought he was being funny.'
0:29:39 > 0:29:41University.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45- I'm grounded. - I don't get it.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50Can you see the sky?
0:29:55 > 0:29:58I'm outside, mate. Obvi... Yes!
0:29:58 > 0:30:01- How does it look today?- Pretty shit.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03Do you have some friends?
0:30:03 > 0:30:05I don't get it. See you in a bit.
0:30:05 > 0:30:11There's still five o'clock till when my mum comes back from work.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15- So don't go now.- 'I couldn't tell if he was fucking about.'
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Are you being serious? 'Or being genuine.'
0:30:21 > 0:30:24Yes, I am very serous.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26HE LAUGHS
0:30:26 > 0:30:31- I can't see you. - I can't see you either, mate.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34'I had to be sure so I played along.'
0:30:34 > 0:30:36All right, then.
0:30:36 > 0:30:41Well, how long have you been grounded for then, mate?
0:30:41 > 0:30:45Ages and ages and ages and ages.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50'I mean...he seemed genuine.'
0:30:50 > 0:30:51Righto.
0:30:51 > 0:30:55Subaru, can you please,
0:30:55 > 0:30:59please throw away my sock?
0:30:59 > 0:31:02So my mum won't find it.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07- That is fucking rank, mate.- Sorry.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11Why the fuck didn't you use some tissue paper or something?
0:31:11 > 0:31:14- Like, come on. Be a professional. - None left.
0:31:14 > 0:31:17- Why don't you throw it in the bin? - I don't have a bin.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20You don't have a bin in your whole fucking house?
0:31:21 > 0:31:27No, just in here, in the naughty room.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31The naughty room?
0:31:31 > 0:31:33What the fuck is the naughty room, Todd?
0:31:48 > 0:31:52Don't tell the police!
0:32:12 > 0:32:16'Todd would go on to tell me, during a long and confusing conversation,
0:32:16 > 0:32:18'about how his mum had had him locked
0:32:18 > 0:32:22'in a room she called the naughty room.'
0:32:28 > 0:32:32'It was the most fucked-up set of circumstances I'd ever heard of
0:32:32 > 0:32:37'and I didn't have a fucking clue what to make of any of it.'
0:32:39 > 0:32:44- I'm at work.- Do you know that Mrs Kennedy?- I don't have time for this.
0:32:46 > 0:32:51I think she's got her 20-year-old son padded up in a room in there.
0:32:51 > 0:32:53'He's been there for years and years.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55'I just had a couple of words with him then.'
0:32:55 > 0:33:00- He made me promise not to tell anyone cos he loves her still.- Get a job!
0:33:01 > 0:33:03Bitch!
0:33:03 > 0:33:07'He'd been in there since he was about four and she treated him well
0:33:07 > 0:33:11'and fed him and whatever, but she just didn't let him out.
0:33:11 > 0:33:15'He hadn't been to school or met anyone apart from his mum.'
0:33:17 > 0:33:20'He was weird, but you would be.'
0:33:20 > 0:33:23Todd, you can look at that when I'm gone. Todd.
0:33:26 > 0:33:27How was your school?
0:33:27 > 0:33:30In fact, I'm going to be
0:33:30 > 0:33:33the new head of the maths department next term.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36That's good. Means I'm finally catching up with lost time.
0:33:36 > 0:33:41Today I was thinking, thinking,
0:33:41 > 0:33:47thinking about when I'm not going to be grounded.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49And how's that going to happen then, Todd?
0:33:49 > 0:33:52When you decide for me, erm,
0:33:52 > 0:33:58I get forgiven for ruining,
0:33:58 > 0:34:00ruining your life.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02Is that really what you think you need to do?
0:34:03 > 0:34:06- Yes.- You have to want to be grounded.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13No. I care about you so you will,
0:34:13 > 0:34:18I care about you so that you will...forgive me.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21INAUDIBLE
0:34:31 > 0:34:34How the fuck did you ruin her life, exactly?
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Whining.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44That's what kids do, Todd.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Fuck.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50"I think it's fair that you have to stay here
0:34:50 > 0:34:53"and pay for ruining my life."
0:34:56 > 0:34:58Don't you think it's fair, Todd?
0:34:58 > 0:35:00No.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05That's what kids do.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09No dinner!
0:35:15 > 0:35:18Shitty fucking balls.
0:35:25 > 0:35:30'I couldn't sleep. I was thinking of doing something.'
0:35:32 > 0:35:34'I needed to make friends with Tom-Tom again
0:35:34 > 0:35:37'for two different reasons.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39'One, he was my best mate
0:35:39 > 0:35:43'and I needed his opinion on what I was thinking of doing.'
0:35:43 > 0:35:46- All right?- I'm working now, bit busy. Can't talk.
0:35:46 > 0:35:50'And two, his uncle Paul was an essential part
0:35:50 > 0:35:53'of what I was thinking of doing.'
0:35:53 > 0:35:56Well, when are we going to sort this out?
0:35:56 > 0:35:58I'm not sorting anything out with you, mate.
0:35:58 > 0:36:00I was shit-faced.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02My dad's dead.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05'I knew there was no evidence in my favour.'
0:36:05 > 0:36:07I'm sorry.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10Your dad died when you were fucking four years old, yeah? Get over it.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13Like, help your mum. She's a good mum. She's lush.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16Man the fuck up.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- Can I speak to your uncle, please?- Fuck off.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22Can I speak to your manager, please?
0:36:22 > 0:36:26Ring between the hours of 11 and 11.
0:36:26 > 0:36:27Thank you.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35PHONE RINGS
0:36:39 > 0:36:44Hello, Eagle Tavern. Call back and leave a message.
0:36:45 > 0:36:50I don't suppose you would know anywhere to rent
0:36:50 > 0:36:54- for hardly any money? - Why do you ask me?
0:36:55 > 0:36:58I don't know anything about it and I would ask my mum
0:36:58 > 0:37:01but she's a bit...at the moment.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04I just thought maybe you could help out?
0:37:07 > 0:37:09Yeah.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20'Todd had made it very clear to me that he didn't want anyone
0:37:20 > 0:37:24'knowing about his mum or the naughty room or any of that shit.'
0:37:26 > 0:37:29- Subaru?- Yeah, hi.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32'I hoped that this Derek Gunn guy
0:37:32 > 0:37:35'wouldn't notice anything funny about Todd
0:37:35 > 0:37:38'and if he did, I hoped that he'd be OK with it.'
0:37:38 > 0:37:40So where's your mate, then? Why ain't he here?
0:37:40 > 0:37:47- He's, erm, he's working at the moment.- Where?- At the pub.- What pub?
0:37:47 > 0:37:52You know, the Eagle. I'm gonna be working there as well, soon.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55Get a discount?
0:37:55 > 0:38:00No loud music. I like it quiet at night.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03People who don't live here, don't come here.
0:38:03 > 0:38:07No animals. No pissing on the toilet seat.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09Are you gay?
0:38:11 > 0:38:14- No.- No what?
0:38:16 > 0:38:18No...Mr Gunn?
0:38:18 > 0:38:22Right, well done. What about your mate, is he gay?
0:38:22 > 0:38:25- No. He likes ladies. - When can I meet him?
0:38:25 > 0:38:29- Soon.- Right. Here's your room.
0:38:38 > 0:38:43- Cool.- Radiators don't work, but you don't mind that, do you?
0:38:43 > 0:38:46- This is my room. Stay the fuck out of there.- Yeah, Mr Gunn.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48You don't have to keep calling me Mr Gunn.
0:38:48 > 0:38:53- I was fucking around, you twat. Derek.- Yes.- "Yes, Derek!"
0:38:53 > 0:38:58- Any other questions? - Er, what about smoking?
0:38:58 > 0:39:02What are you smoking?
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Bit of weed, but I can go outside...
0:39:04 > 0:39:06Just stay the fuck away from my food.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08That's all I care about.
0:39:08 > 0:39:13Rent includes all the bills apart from heating. Rent will be on time.
0:39:14 > 0:39:19Yeah. I'm paying for me and my mate so I'll pay you for both of our rent.
0:39:19 > 0:39:22I don't care. As long as it gets here, that's all I worry about.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26The room's empty. You can move in whenever you want. Soon as you like.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28- OK.- Happy days.
0:39:28 > 0:39:32- So, why do you want to work at the Eagle, then?- Erm...
0:39:33 > 0:39:37To give the customer the most pleasurable,
0:39:37 > 0:39:40satisfying and easy experience possible.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43Nah, come on.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46- Quick money, fast. - I've run this pub for 20 years.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50It's the fucking love of my life, so can I rely on you?
0:39:50 > 0:39:53- Yeah, Paul. Yeah. - All right then, son. Good.
0:39:53 > 0:39:57Did Tom-Tom mention anything about me?
0:39:57 > 0:39:59Just that you were a cunt.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39MUSIC: "Good Citizen" by Cosmo Jarvis.
0:41:16 > 0:41:21# I'm a good citizen I'm a good citizen
0:41:22 > 0:41:24# I'm a good citizen I'm a good citizen
0:41:27 > 0:41:30# You won't catch me as long as I'm alive
0:41:30 > 0:41:32# I'll be a good citizen till I die
0:41:32 > 0:41:35# You won't catch me as long as I'm alive
0:41:35 > 0:41:38# I'll be a good citizen till I die
0:41:38 > 0:41:41# You won't catch me as long as I'm alive
0:41:41 > 0:41:45# I'll be a good citizen till I die
0:41:45 > 0:41:47# You won't catch me as long as I'm alive
0:41:47 > 0:41:50# I'll be a good citizen till I die. #
0:42:00 > 0:42:04# I'm a good citizen I'm a good citizen
0:42:05 > 0:42:09# I'm a good citizen I'm a good citizen
0:42:11 > 0:42:14# I'm a good citizen I'm a good citizen
0:42:17 > 0:42:20# I'm a good citizen I'm a good citizen. #
0:42:24 > 0:42:26What the fuck?
0:42:36 > 0:42:39It's just if you're ever going to, you know, give me a sign...
0:42:41 > 0:42:44..now would be great.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46To tell me I'm doing the right thing.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01- He was bought up different to most. - And?
0:43:01 > 0:43:05I'd just appreciate it if you went easy on him.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09What do you mean? This is my house.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11- Derek...- I can talk to him how I want.
0:43:11 > 0:43:15- Don't give him any shit. - Yeah, all right.
0:43:15 > 0:43:18Look, just get out mate. Shut the door on your way out, will you?
0:43:18 > 0:43:22- Subaru.- Is Tom-Tom in?
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Yeah, I'll go and get him. You're a knob.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Nice one.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37What do you want?
0:43:37 > 0:43:39If you just don't forgive me for being a dick,
0:43:39 > 0:43:44I'm just going to tell Becky about all them photos on your phone.
0:43:54 > 0:44:00I need you to do me a little favour as well.
0:44:00 > 0:44:02Yeah, what's that?
0:44:04 > 0:44:06There's this kid called...
0:44:06 > 0:44:09..Todd, I'm off to work. I'll see you tonight.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11- Wait, Mum.- What?
0:44:11 > 0:44:16I'm sorry for killing Dad.
0:44:25 > 0:44:27That's really nice, Todd.
0:44:27 > 0:44:34It's lovely to hear you're finally thinking about other people instead of yourself.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37But you're not sorry until I say so.
0:44:42 > 0:44:48'It was a big day. I mentally prepared myself with a large reefer.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51'For every part of me that thought I was needlessly interfering
0:44:51 > 0:44:54'in someone else's affairs, there was a bigger part of me saying,
0:44:54 > 0:44:56' "Stop being a pussy and do the right thing."
0:44:56 > 0:45:00'It might be the only chance I get in my skidmark of a life
0:45:00 > 0:45:03'to do something I actually cared about more than getting stoned
0:45:03 > 0:45:07'and thinking about how my life would be if my dad was still alive.'
0:45:08 > 0:45:10'This was more important.'
0:47:43 > 0:47:45INAUDIBLE SPEECH
0:48:04 > 0:48:07LOUD CRASH
0:48:11 > 0:48:13INDICATOR TICKS
0:50:11 > 0:50:14'It was like looking after a fucking baby.'
0:50:25 > 0:50:30'I mean, he really didn't have a fucking clue about anything.
0:50:39 > 0:50:41HORN SOUNDS
0:50:55 > 0:51:01'I've never seen anyone jizz so much over a fucking sunset.'
0:51:40 > 0:51:43'Never have a joint when you need one the most.'
0:52:26 > 0:52:28Come on, what's the problem?
0:52:28 > 0:52:31You broke down the door.
0:52:31 > 0:52:37- What?- Door at my mum's. Door's broken.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40- I tried to pick the lock. - She's going to come home
0:52:40 > 0:52:43and then she's going to... I have to go home.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45You can go and see your mum whenever, mate.
0:52:45 > 0:52:47We have to go now. Come on, let's go.
0:52:48 > 0:52:52- Where...- It's reality, mate.- My mum!
0:52:52 > 0:52:55HE CRIES Oh, shut up.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59She's going to be so angry at me.
0:52:59 > 0:53:02I told you what I was doing. Shut up.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04- Stop being a baby. Stop. - We have to go home now.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07Shut the FUCK UP!
0:53:07 > 0:53:11You want to go to your mum's? Go! I'm going this way.
0:53:14 > 0:53:18Subaru! Wait!
0:53:21 > 0:53:23HE SOBS
0:53:28 > 0:53:33All right, Derek. This is Todd.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35Todd, this is Derek.
0:53:37 > 0:53:43- Hiya.- Bedroom's just through there, mate.
0:53:43 > 0:53:47'I was proud of Derek. I thought he did an all-right job.'
0:53:47 > 0:53:49- Bit pale, isn't he?- Yeah.
0:53:51 > 0:53:57You can go and see her whenever. You're not caged up here. You can...
0:53:57 > 0:54:03- You can go and see her whenever you want.- OK.- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:54:10 > 0:54:13'This is your bed. I'll sleep on the floor.'
0:54:13 > 0:54:17You need a bed more than I do after sleeping in a bathtub for so long.
0:54:17 > 0:54:20Your spine's probably crooked as fuck.
0:54:24 > 0:54:26It's an orthopaedic mattress, as well.
0:54:27 > 0:54:31800 nicker, this would cost you, brand new.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33But that's besides the point.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35ELECTRONIC BEEPING
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Fucking hell.
0:54:44 > 0:54:48- You got a picture on you lady.- Yeah.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51- She's pretty fit, isn't she?- Yeah.
0:54:55 > 0:54:56Yeah.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00I'd love to bang her.
0:55:02 > 0:55:03Bang!
0:55:03 > 0:55:06THEY LAUGH
0:55:06 > 0:55:10Tomorrow, what will I do?
0:55:12 > 0:55:15Cos I don't know.
0:55:15 > 0:55:16What do you want to do tomorrow?
0:55:18 > 0:55:22I... I don't know.
0:55:24 > 0:55:28'Tom-Tom sorted it out with his uncle to get Todd a job.
0:55:28 > 0:55:33'I told everyone he was my cousin with a slight mental retardation
0:55:33 > 0:55:35'and an IQ of only 52.'
0:56:04 > 0:56:08- Hey!- All right, mate?- How's it going?
0:56:08 > 0:56:10- All right, bruv?- Nice to see you.
0:56:10 > 0:56:17- All right, cuz?- How's it going?- I'm all right, mate. This is Todd.- Todd.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19You all right, mate? How's it going?
0:56:21 > 0:56:25- Hey. He's my mate.- Yeah.
0:56:36 > 0:56:38- Well, come in, boys. - Yeah, yeah. Sweet.
0:56:38 > 0:56:42- Sam.- You all right?- Good to see ya. - Yeah, you too.
0:56:42 > 0:56:44- Meet, erm, this is Elaine. - Hello, Elaine.
0:56:44 > 0:56:47Cheers for helping me and my mate with the flat.
0:56:47 > 0:56:51We would've been fucked else. So I really appreciate it. Thanks a lot.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04'I thought it'd be a good idea
0:57:04 > 0:57:07'for Todd to meet more people that weren't his mum.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09'I figured that if he said anything,
0:57:09 > 0:57:12'no-one would understand what he was talking about.
0:57:12 > 0:57:15'And everyone in here is shitfaced anyway,
0:57:15 > 0:57:17'so it wouldn't be that big of a set-back.'
0:57:17 > 0:57:21MUSIC PLAYS AND DROWNS SPEECH
0:58:20 > 0:58:22I told you to piss off.
0:58:23 > 0:58:25You didn't deserve that.
0:58:27 > 0:58:30It was a bit harsh on my behalf.
0:58:32 > 0:58:34I'm really sorry.
0:58:34 > 0:58:37UPBEAT MUSIC
0:59:46 > 0:59:48HE WHIMPERS
0:59:58 > 0:59:59'I remember thinking...'
0:59:59 > 1:00:02How do you know that?
1:00:02 > 1:00:05'..no-one should take a child away from its parent.'
1:00:05 > 1:00:07You can go home if you want, like.
1:00:10 > 1:00:13'Unless they're qualified, obviously.'
1:00:13 > 1:00:17I never meant for any of this, Todd.
1:00:17 > 1:00:20'And I definitely wasn't qualified.'
1:00:21 > 1:00:25Shit. HE WAILS
1:00:39 > 1:00:43'The days that followed were some of the worst days of my life.
1:00:43 > 1:00:46'He wouldn't talk to me about anything.'
1:00:47 > 1:00:51'He wasn't angry at me either, he was just angry.
1:00:51 > 1:00:55'He sort of reminded me of me.'
1:00:59 > 1:01:01Want to go for a fag?
1:01:01 > 1:01:04Fucking idiot. You said he was a little bit fucking special,
1:01:04 > 1:01:06you didn't tell me you fucking kidnapped him.
1:01:06 > 1:01:07You would've hated me if I did it.
1:01:07 > 1:01:13As his next door neighbour, I felt entitled to break him out.
1:01:13 > 1:01:17- And why did you think that? - I was really fucking high.
1:01:17 > 1:01:20He doesn't know what the fuck's going on.
1:01:20 > 1:01:22What did you think was going to happen?
1:01:22 > 1:01:25I thought he could just meet up with his old dear whenever he wanted.
1:01:25 > 1:01:27You know, catch up and that.
1:01:27 > 1:01:29This is one of those situations
1:01:29 > 1:01:33which makes me think that you should stop smoking weed, mate.
1:01:33 > 1:01:37I felt...inspired.
1:01:39 > 1:01:41Where does she shit?
1:01:41 > 1:01:43- My mask.- What mask?
1:01:44 > 1:01:47My fucking clown mask, so I wouldn't be recognised. Oh, fuck.
1:01:47 > 1:01:49I must have dropped it or something.
1:01:49 > 1:01:52Do police do suicides? Do they deal with that?
1:01:52 > 1:01:54I think they should understand.
1:01:54 > 1:01:56What the fuck about Todd?
1:01:59 > 1:02:03"Oh! Should we go outside? Get some more inspiration?"
1:02:04 > 1:02:06Are you sure?
1:02:10 > 1:02:12I don't know.
1:02:14 > 1:02:15Don't know.
1:02:15 > 1:02:18'Todd wanted to go and visit the house
1:02:18 > 1:02:20'he'd been living in for all those years.
1:02:20 > 1:02:24'Sort of go and clear his head a bit.'
1:02:29 > 1:02:32- They came here?- They came here. They wanted to know everything.
1:02:32 > 1:02:36- What I was doing.- Did they mention me?- No. Why would they mention you?
1:02:36 > 1:02:38Nothing to do with you, was it?
1:02:38 > 1:02:41I lived here when it happened, pretty much.
1:02:41 > 1:02:43Oh, I've got your mask, by the way.
1:02:43 > 1:02:46I picked it up and thought you might want it back
1:02:46 > 1:02:48because you always had it in your bedroom.
1:02:48 > 1:02:52I don't know why. It's an ugly-looking thing, really.
1:02:52 > 1:02:57- It's signed by six of nine members of Slipknot, Mum.- Who's that?
1:02:57 > 1:02:58Doesn't matter.
1:03:00 > 1:03:03- Oh, thank you. - That's all right, darling.
1:03:03 > 1:03:06- Don't leave it so long next time. - I won't. Promise.
1:03:06 > 1:03:11- Come round and have dinner.- I will.
1:03:11 > 1:03:13How did you get up there?
1:03:18 > 1:03:20What did she get a new door for?
1:03:20 > 1:03:23'She'd gotten rid of the door I smashed,
1:03:23 > 1:03:27'and anything else that could lead anyone to the naughty room.'
1:03:39 > 1:03:42I guess she just didn't want anyone to find out.
1:03:42 > 1:03:44'Even on her last days on this earth,
1:03:44 > 1:03:50'Connie Kennedy remained somewhere between a very confused and very evil woman.'
1:03:50 > 1:03:52I'm going to go out for a fag.
1:03:52 > 1:03:55'I still don't know which.
1:03:55 > 1:03:59'If I knew I was going to do myself in, I'd say goodbye
1:03:59 > 1:04:03'and maybe even sorry to my only child before getting a door repaired
1:04:03 > 1:04:06'that I wasn't even going to fucking use.'
1:04:13 > 1:04:17Hello, mate. Look what I just found in the kitchen.
1:04:17 > 1:04:21I reckon your mum probably left this out for you to have.
1:04:21 > 1:04:23Here you are.
1:04:25 > 1:04:27Your birth certificate.
1:04:33 > 1:04:36It's proof that you were born.
1:04:36 > 1:04:38You're, like, you're on the system.
1:04:40 > 1:04:43Like, you could do your art teaching with that.
1:04:45 > 1:04:47It's crinkled.
1:04:48 > 1:04:51Yeah, but I can iron that. It'll be all right.
1:04:51 > 1:04:56If mum wanted me to have it, it would be flat.
1:04:57 > 1:05:00I found it in the bin. Shouldn't have lied.
1:05:02 > 1:05:05'The fucking naughty room is all she ever gave to Todd.'
1:05:06 > 1:05:10'The best part of his shitty existence happened in that room.'
1:05:11 > 1:05:15'You can imagine how he felt, seeing his life just gone like that.'
1:05:15 > 1:05:18Todd, what the fuck are you doing?
1:05:18 > 1:05:21'Cos I suppose he felt like he was gone too, to her.'
1:05:22 > 1:05:24Smoking weed.
1:05:24 > 1:05:28You just got into the real world, you little shit.
1:05:28 > 1:05:31Smoking that's just going to box you right back up again.
1:05:31 > 1:05:34'He was worth no more than the door was.'
1:05:34 > 1:05:35I like boxes.
1:05:38 > 1:05:40Oi, she's gone, mate.
1:05:42 > 1:05:47Smoking that might make you forget it tonight but tomorrow it will be back.
1:05:47 > 1:05:51Trust me, I'm telling you now. That's not the right way to go about it.
1:05:51 > 1:05:56- You smoke it.- Yeah. - All the time.- I know.
1:05:58 > 1:06:01I can't remember when I haven't smoked it.
1:06:01 > 1:06:03I don't know how to function without it.
1:06:03 > 1:06:06You want to have a joint with me 12 months down the line, yeah.
1:06:06 > 1:06:09I'm up for that, when you're in a better mood.
1:06:09 > 1:06:12But right now, you having this is just going to fuck you up, mate.
1:06:12 > 1:06:15And you're already a wee bit special, aren't you?
1:06:18 > 1:06:21I want to try it.
1:06:21 > 1:06:25All right. I'll quit. I'll quit right now.
1:06:26 > 1:06:28Todd?
1:06:35 > 1:06:39All right, I'll stop. OK?
1:06:41 > 1:06:44- Here's your dinner.- Thank you.
1:06:44 > 1:06:47Here's a can of Coke. Now fuck off in there.
1:06:47 > 1:06:51I'm going to teach you how to shave in five minutes, all right?
1:06:51 > 1:06:55- Richard Chapman.- Richard! - You know that. You got the delivery?
1:06:55 > 1:06:57'Yeah, I got it. Thanks, mate.
1:06:57 > 1:07:00'The only thing is, mate, you gave it to Todd.'
1:07:00 > 1:07:03I had to give it to someone, innit? You weren't there.
1:07:03 > 1:07:04I couldn't link you so saw him.
1:07:04 > 1:07:07He's a bit of a funny geezer, though. Talks for England, bruv.
1:07:07 > 1:07:10'If I'm not in, mate, could you just not drop anything off?
1:07:10 > 1:07:12'He's had a rough couple of months.
1:07:12 > 1:07:16'I just think he's better off just not smoking anything.'
1:07:29 > 1:07:34- How come that girls don't shave? - Oh, they do shave.
1:07:34 > 1:07:36They do.
1:07:36 > 1:07:38Just different destinations.
1:07:40 > 1:07:43- Armpits.- Armpits.- Legs.
1:07:43 > 1:07:45I have hairy armpits.
1:07:45 > 1:07:49That's all right cos you're a bloke. Girls, it's not acceptable.
1:07:49 > 1:07:52Except for in France, but we don't live there.
1:07:54 > 1:07:57- It's the same.- Oh, God.
1:07:58 > 1:08:00It's the same!
1:08:00 > 1:08:02BELL RINGS
1:08:28 > 1:08:32- I think you've got two jobs now, mate.- Oh!
1:08:34 > 1:08:37I thought I had the cheesy lines, Thomas!
1:08:37 > 1:08:41"Oh, I've got two jobs now. I'm a single parent. Oh!"
1:08:43 > 1:08:46- You know what I fucking mean. - Mm, yeah.
1:08:46 > 1:08:49I know what you mean. Yeah.
1:08:50 > 1:08:53What it's worth though, one day,
1:08:53 > 1:08:57I think he'll have two jobs as well, you know.
1:08:59 > 1:09:01- That's a nice note to end on.- Good.
1:09:01 > 1:09:05- That's nice.- Good.
1:09:05 > 1:09:10'I felt like I had a lot of seriously useful shit to tell him about...'
1:09:12 > 1:09:16'and even if he did fuck up my life somehow...'
1:09:16 > 1:09:18- I'm going to go and walk over there. - All right.
1:09:18 > 1:09:21'..that still wouldn't have stopped me from showing Todd a few pointers
1:09:21 > 1:09:23'because truth is,
1:09:23 > 1:09:28'I didn't have much of a life to fuck up in the fucking first place.
1:09:28 > 1:09:33'So as my homophobic landlord would say, 'appy days.
1:09:33 > 1:09:36'I felt that I was the perfect sort of fuck-up
1:09:36 > 1:09:40'to raise this absolute fucking fuck-up.'
1:09:44 > 1:09:47I'm going to get stoned.
1:09:55 > 1:09:58'I had fuck all else to do.'
1:09:59 > 1:10:02MUSIC: "Whatever" by Cosmo Jarvis
1:10:02 > 1:10:05# I swear that I won't let you down
1:10:07 > 1:10:10# I'm heading some place I ain't even found
1:10:12 > 1:10:17# And I don't need to find my way
1:10:17 > 1:10:22# As long as I find slipping every day
1:10:24 > 1:10:29# When I look behind the eye
1:10:29 > 1:10:34# See everything that I could not get by
1:10:36 > 1:10:42# And I leave you now really soon
1:10:42 > 1:10:46# My faith will be smiling when we do
1:10:46 > 1:10:50# Smiling when we do
1:10:53 > 1:10:57# I'm just walking through whatever
1:10:57 > 1:11:01# To wherever and I'm never gonna stop
1:11:05 > 1:11:09# I'm just walking through whatever
1:11:09 > 1:11:13# To wherever and I'm never gonna stop
1:11:18 > 1:11:24# I don't know if I'm coming back
1:11:24 > 1:11:29# But I'll make sure that I'll leave you a track
1:11:30 > 1:11:36# And everything is broken here
1:11:36 > 1:11:41# I'll fix it only when I disappear
1:11:43 > 1:11:48# Only lies can be this tough
1:11:48 > 1:11:53# That's why I can never get enough
1:11:54 > 1:11:59# One day though I'll turn around
1:11:59 > 1:12:04# I'm betting some place that I once have found
1:12:04 > 1:12:07# That I once have found
1:12:12 > 1:12:15# I'm just walking through whatever
1:12:15 > 1:12:19# To wherever and I'm never gonna stop
1:12:23 > 1:12:27# I'm just walking through whatever
1:12:27 > 1:12:32# To wherever and I'm never gonna stop
1:12:36 > 1:12:40# I'm just walking through whatever
1:12:40 > 1:12:44# With whoever and I'm never gonna stop. #
1:12:50 > 1:12:52Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd