0:00:10 > 0:00:14(BIRDS CHIRP)
0:00:14 > 0:00:16# I don't mean to trouble your mind
0:00:16 > 0:00:19# I'm just trying to find my way home
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# Silently I'm seeking a kind
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# Of a way to get by on my own
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Downtown Saturday
0:00:29 > 0:00:30# In a better way
0:00:30 > 0:00:33# Than I ever was before
0:00:34 > 0:00:35# Don't need anyone
0:00:35 > 0:00:37# Standing in my sun
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# Don't need that anymore
0:00:40 > 0:00:43# Well, it's a long way, I know
0:00:43 > 0:00:46# And there's no one way to go
0:00:46 > 0:00:52# But it's all gonna show in the end
0:00:53 > 0:00:55# I got to find my way
0:00:55 > 0:00:57# Find my way
0:00:57 > 0:01:00# Find my way home
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Shit!
0:01:01 > 0:01:03# All those plans that I made for myself
0:01:03 > 0:01:06# I've got nobody else to lean on
0:01:07 > 0:01:10# Gone so far with my head in the clouds
0:01:10 > 0:01:13# Now it's time to come down and be gone
0:01:14 > 0:01:15# Downtown Saturday
0:01:15 > 0:01:17# In a better way
0:01:17 > 0:01:19# Than I ever was before
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Andrew. Hey.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29Here you go. You regular lattes.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33You literally saved my life. Thank you. Thank you.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35# Find my way
0:01:35 > 0:01:37# Find my way
0:01:37 > 0:01:40# Find my way home
0:01:40 > 0:01:42# Got to find my way
0:01:42 > 0:01:44# Find my way
0:01:44 > 0:01:47# Find my way home #
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- Everyone OK? - Yeah.- Me, too.
0:01:52 > 0:01:54Hello, Frank? How's my favourite writer?
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Of course you've been thinking about our talk, because you know I'm right.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01People in this country are busy, broke, and hate to read.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05They need someone they can trust to say, "Don't watch CSI Indianapolis."
0:02:05 > 0:02:08"Read a book! Frank's book." That person is Oprah.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16- Cutting it close. - One of those mornings. Thanks.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20- Oh. Oh. - Sweet... Jesus!- Sorry.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Rub some dirt on it, brother.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Frank, the truth is all A-plus novelists
0:02:25 > 0:02:28do publicity. Roth, McCourt, Russo, and...
0:02:28 > 0:02:31Can I tell you what else they have in common? A Pulitzer.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I need the shirt off your back. Literally.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- You're kidding, right? - Yankees, Boston, this Tuesday.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Two company seats. Five seconds. Five, four, three, two, one.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45- (ELEVATOR DINGS) - Later.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- (COMPUTERS BEEP) - Hm? (GASPS)
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Whoa! - (COMPUTER BEEPS)
0:02:56 > 0:02:59(COMPUTERS BEEP)
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Er, hello? Hello?
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Morning, boss. Conference call in 30 minutes.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13- About marketing the spring books. I know.- Staff meeting at nine.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Did you call... What's her name? The one with the ugly hands.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Janet.- Yes.- Yes. I told her if she doesn't get her manuscript in,
0:03:20 > 0:03:24you won't give her a release date. Your immigration lawyer said...
0:03:24 > 0:03:27Push the meeting to tomorrow, keep the lawyer on the sheets.
0:03:27 > 0:03:32Get a hold of PR, have them draft a press release. Frank is doing Oprah.
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Wow. Nicely done.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37If I want your praise, I will ask for it.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Erm,... who is Jillian?
0:03:43 > 0:03:45And why does she want me to call her?
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Well, that was originally my cup.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- And I'm drinking your coffee, why? - Because your coffee spilled.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03So, you drink unsweetened cinnamon light soy lattes?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06I do. It's like Christmas in a cup.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Is that a coincidence? - Incredibly, it is.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I wouldn't possibly drink the same coffee you drink
0:04:12 > 0:04:15just in case yours spilled. That would be pathetic.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Morning. Miss Tate's office. Hey, Bob.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Actually, we're headed to your office right now. Yeah.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Why are we headed to Bob's office?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39(COMPUTERS BEEP)
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Have you finished the manuscript I gave you?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45I read a few pages. I wasn't that impressed.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49- Can I say something?- No. - I've read thousands of manuscripts,
0:04:49 > 0:04:52it's the only one I've ever given you. It's an incredible novel.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- The kind you used to publish. - Er, wrong.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57And I do think you order the same coffee me
0:04:57 > 0:04:59just in case you spill, which is pathetic.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02- Or impressive.- I'd be impressed if you didn't spill.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Remember, you're a prop here. - I won't say a word.
0:05:07 > 0:05:12Ah! Our fearless leader and her liege. Please, do come in.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Oh, beautiful breakfront.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18- Is it new? - English Regency Egyptian Revival,
0:05:18 > 0:05:21built in the 1800s but, yes, it is new to my office.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25Witty. Bob, I'm letting you go.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Pardon?- I asked you over a dozen times to get Frank to do Oprah,
0:05:32 > 0:05:36and you didn't do it. You're fired.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I have told you that is impossible.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Frank hasn't done an interview in 20 years.
0:05:41 > 0:05:45Interesting, because I just got off the phone with him and he is in.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Excuse me? - You didn't even call him, did you?
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- But... - I know, I know.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Frank can be a little scary to deal with. For you.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Now, I will give you two months
0:05:58 > 0:06:01to find another job and you can tell everyone you resigned. OK?
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- What's his 20? - He's moving.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12- He has crazy eyes. - Don't do it, Bob. Don't do it.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15You poisonous bitch!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- (ALL GASP) - You can't fire me!
0:06:17 > 0:06:20You don't think I see what you're doing?
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Sandbagging me on this Oprah thing so you can look good to the board?
0:06:24 > 0:06:29Because you are threatened by me! And you are a monster!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Bob, stop.- Just because you have no semblance of a life
0:06:32 > 0:06:36outside of this office, you think that you can treat all of us
0:06:36 > 0:06:41like your own personal slaves. You know what? I feel sorry for you.
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Because you know what you'll have on your deathbed? Nothing and no one.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Listen carefully, Bob.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54I didn't fire you because I feel threatened. No.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58I fired you because you're lazy, entitled, incompetent
0:06:58 > 0:07:01and spend more time cheating on your wife than working.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04If you say another word, Andrew will have you thrown out on your ass.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Another word and you're going out of here with an armed escort.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Andrew will film it with his camera phone
0:07:10 > 0:07:14- and put it on that site. What was it? - YouTube?- Is that what you want?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Didn't think so. I have work to do.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Have security put his breakfront in my conference room.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26- Will do.- I need you this weekend to help review his files.- This weekend?
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- You have a problem with that? - No, I...
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Just my grandmother's 90th birthday, I was gonna go home. It's fine.
0:07:32 > 0:07:37I'll cancel. You're saving me from a weekend of misery. Good talk, yeah.
0:07:37 > 0:07:42I know, I know. OK, tell Gammy I'm sorry. What do...?
0:07:42 > 0:07:46Mom. What do you want me to say? She's making me work the weekend.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49No. No. Listen, I've worked too hard for this promotion
0:07:49 > 0:07:52to throw it all away, OK? I'm sure that Dad is pissed
0:07:52 > 0:07:54but we take all of our submissions very seriously
0:07:54 > 0:07:57and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59- Was that your family? - Yes.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03- They tell you to quit? - Every day. Miss Tate's office.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09Yeah. OK. All right. Bergen and Malloy wanna see you immediately.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11(GROWLS) OK. Come get me in ten minutes.
0:08:11 > 0:08:16- We've got a lot to do. - Okey doke.- (PHONE RINGS)
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Good morning, Miss Tate.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26- Jack, Edwin.- Congratulations on the Oprah thing. Terrific news.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30Thank you. This isn't about my second raise, is it? (LAUGHS)
0:08:30 > 0:08:35Margaret, remember when we agreed that you wouldn't go to Frankfurt
0:08:35 > 0:08:39as you couldn't leave the country while your visa was being processed?
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- Yes, I do.- And... you went to Frankfurt.- Yes, I did.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46We were gonna lose DeLillo to Viking so really didn't have a choice.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49It seems the US government doesn't care who publishes DeLillo.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52We just spoke to your immigration attorney.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Great. So, we're all good? Everything good?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- Your visa application has been denied.- That...
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- And you are being deported. - Deported?
0:09:01 > 0:09:06- There was also some paperwork you didn't fill out in time.- Come on.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Come on! It's not like I'm even an immigrant!
0:09:09 > 0:09:13I'm from Canada, for Christ's sake. There's gotta be something we can do.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16We can reapply. But you have to leave the country
0:09:16 > 0:09:20- for at least a year. - OK.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26OK, well, that's not ideal, but, er, I can manage everything from Toronto
0:09:26 > 0:09:30with videoconferencing and Internet. I can...
0:09:30 > 0:09:33If you're deported, you can't work for an American company.
0:09:33 > 0:09:38- For now, I'm turning operations over to Bob Spaulding.- Bob Spaulding?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- The guy I just fired? - We need an editor in chief.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44- He's the only one with experience. - You can't be serious. I beg of you.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46We are desperate to have you stay.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50If there was any way, any way at all that we could make this thing work,
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- we'd be doing it.- I am begging you. - No, Margaret. We're in a meeting.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58- Sorry to interrupt.- What?!- Mary from Miss Winfrey's office called.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- She's on hold. - I know.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04I told her you were otherwise engaged. She insisted, so...
0:10:04 > 0:10:06So...
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Er...
0:10:18 > 0:10:21(WHISPERS) Come here!
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Er, gentlemen, I understand...
0:10:25 > 0:10:29I understand the predicament that we are in.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31And, erm...
0:10:31 > 0:10:34And there's, er... Well...
0:10:34 > 0:10:37I think there's something that you should know.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42Er, we're... we're getting married.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- We are getting married. - Who is getting married?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48You and I. You and I are getting married! Yes.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- We are... getting married. - Getting married. Yes.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Isn't he your secretary?
0:10:55 > 0:10:59- Assistant. - Executive assistant secretary.
0:10:59 > 0:11:03Titles. Wouldn't be the first time one of us fell for our secretaries,
0:11:03 > 0:11:05would it, Edwin? (LAUGHS)
0:11:05 > 0:11:09With Laquisha. Remember? So, yeah.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13The truth is, you know, Andrew and I,
0:11:13 > 0:11:16we are just two people who weren't meant to fall in love,
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- but we did. - No.- Yeah.
0:11:18 > 0:11:24All those late nights at the office and weekend book fairs.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- No. - Something... happened.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- Something - Yeah. (LAUGHS)
0:11:28 > 0:11:32Tried to fight it and... Can't fight a...
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Can't... Can't fight a love like ours.
0:11:34 > 0:11:38So, er, are we good with this?
0:11:38 > 0:11:43Are you happy? Because, well, we are happy. So happy.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48- Margaret.- Yes?- It's terrific. Just make it legal. Hm?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Oh! Legal. (LAUGHS)
0:11:50 > 0:11:53Yeah, well, then that means we...
0:11:53 > 0:11:56We need to get to the immigration office
0:11:56 > 0:11:58so we can work this whole mess out. Right?
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Thank you very much, gentlemen. We will do that right away.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05- Thank you. - Gentlemen.- Thank you.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11- (WHISPER) Margaret and Andrew are getting married!- What?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- Here they come. - (LAUGHS)
0:12:14 > 0:12:17(ALL CHAT IN WHISPERS)
0:12:19 > 0:12:22Dude, for real? Her? (LAUGHS)
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I didn't even think they were dating.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- What? - I don't understand what's happening.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Relax. This is for you, too. - Do explain.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56- They were going to make Bob chief. - So, naturally, I have to marry you.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00What's the problem? Like you were saving yourself for someone special?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I like to think so. Besides, it's illegal.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06They're looking for terrorists, not for book publishers.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- Margaret.- Yes?- I'm not gonna marry you.- Sure you are.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14If you don't, your dreams of touching millions
0:13:14 > 0:13:16with the written word are dead.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Bob will fire you the second I'm gone. Guaranteed.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26That means you're looking for a job.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29So all the time we spent together, all the lattes, cancelled dates,
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Tampax runs were for nothing and your dreams of being an editor are gone.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Don't worry, after the required time we'll get a quickie divorce.
0:13:37 > 0:13:41Until then, like it or not, your wagon is hitched to mine. OK?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44(PHONE RINGS) Phone.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
0:13:56 > 0:14:00- This way.- But... - Just come.- ..the line.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04- Next, please.- Ooh. I just, er... I just need to ask him something.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07I need you to file this fiance visa for me, please.
0:14:10 > 0:14:16- Miss Tate?- Yes. - Please, come with me.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22- I have a bad feeling about this. - (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Hi. Hello.- Hello. - I'm Mr Gilbertson.- Ah!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- And you must be Andrew, and you must be...- Margaret.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36Sorry about the wait. It's a crazy day today.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40Of course. We understand. And I can't tell you how much we appreciate
0:14:40 > 0:14:44- you seeing us on such short notice. - OK. (SIGHS)
0:14:44 > 0:14:48# Ba-ba-ba-ba-baaa So, I have one question for you.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Are you both committing fraud to avoid her deportation
0:14:51 > 0:14:55so she can keep her position as editor in chief at Colden Books?
0:14:56 > 0:14:58- That's ridiculous. - Where did you hear that?
0:14:58 > 0:15:01We had a phone tip this afternoon from...
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Would it be Bob Spaulding? - Bob Spaulding.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Bob. Poor Bob. I am so sorry.
0:15:07 > 0:15:12Bob is nothing but a disgruntled former employee. And I apologise.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14But we know you're incredibly busy
0:15:14 > 0:15:18with a room full of gardeners and delivery boys to tend to.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Just give us our next step
0:15:20 > 0:15:24- and we'll be out of your hair and on our way.- Miss Tate, please.
0:15:24 > 0:15:29Let me explain to you the process that's about to unfold.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Step one will be a scheduled interview.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I'll put you each in a room and I'll ask you every little question
0:15:36 > 0:15:40that a real couple would know about each other. Step two, I dig deeper.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44I look at your phone records, talk to neighbours, interview co-workers.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47If your answers don't match up at every point,
0:15:47 > 0:15:49you will be deported indefinitely.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52And you, young man, will have committed a felony
0:15:52 > 0:15:58punishable by a fine of 250,000 and a stay of five years
0:15:58 > 0:16:00in federal prison.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05So, Andrew.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09You wanna... talk to me?
0:16:13 > 0:16:14No?
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Yes?
0:16:22 > 0:16:27Er, the truth is... (CLEARS THROAT)
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Mr Gilbertson, the truth is...
0:16:32 > 0:16:34..Margaret and I...
0:16:36 > 0:16:39..are just two people who weren't supposed to fall in love...
0:16:41 > 0:16:43..but did.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47We couldn't tell anyone we work with
0:16:47 > 0:16:50because of my big promotion that I had coming up.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- Promotion? - Your...
0:16:52 > 0:16:57We both felt, er, that it would be deeply inappropriate
0:16:57 > 0:16:59if I were to be promoted to editor...
0:16:59 > 0:17:01- Editor. - ..while we were...
0:17:03 > 0:17:08So,... have the two of you told your parents about your secret love?
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Oh, er, impossible. My parents are dead. (LAUGHS)
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- No brothers or sisters, either. - Gone.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18- Are your parents dead? - Oh, no, his are very much alive.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- Very much.- We were gonna tell them this weekend.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25Gammy's 90th birthday, the whole family's coming together.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29- We thought it'd be a nice surprise. - Where's this taking place?
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- At Andrew's parents' house. - Where is that located again?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Erm... Why am I doing all the talking?
0:17:34 > 0:17:38It's your parents' house. You tell him where it is. Jump in. (LAUGHS)
0:17:38 > 0:17:41- Sitka. - Sitka.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43- Alaska. - Alaska?
0:17:43 > 0:17:48- You're going to Alaska this weekend? - Yeah.- Yes, yes.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52We are going to Alaska. Alaska, that's where...
0:17:52 > 0:17:54That's where my little... where my Andrew's from.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58OK. Fine.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00I see how this is gonna go.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05I'll see you both 11 o'clock Monday morning for your scheduled interview
0:18:05 > 0:18:08and your answers better match up on every account.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Thank you. - I'm looking forward to this one.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14- Darling! - We're looking forward to it.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18- It's gonna be fun. I'll be checking up on ya.- You got it.
0:18:22 > 0:18:27OK, so, what's gonna happen is, we will go there,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29pretend we're boyfriend and girlfriend,
0:18:29 > 0:18:33tell your parents we're engaged. Use the miles for the tickets.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36I guess I'll pop for you to fly first class. But use the miles.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Otherwise we're not doing it. And please confirm the vegan meal.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42Last time they gave it to a vegan and they forced me to eat
0:18:42 > 0:18:46this clammy, warm, creamy salad thing, which was... Hey.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- Why aren't you taking notes? - Were you not in that room?
0:18:49 > 0:18:55What? What? Oh! The thing you said about being promoted? Genius.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- He completely fell for it. - I was serious.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00I'm looking at a 250,000 fine and five years in jail.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05- That changes things. - Promote you to editor? No, no way.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Then I quit. You're screwed. Bye. It's been a little slice of heaven.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Andrew! Fine, fine.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17I'll make you editor. Fine. If you do the Alaska weekend
0:19:17 > 0:19:20and the immigration interview, I will make you editor. Happy?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23- And not in two years. Right away. - Fine.
0:19:23 > 0:19:27- And you'll publish my manuscript. - 10,000 copies, first...
0:19:27 > 0:19:3120,000 copies, first run. And we'll tell my family about our engagement
0:19:31 > 0:19:36- when and how I want. Now, ask me nicely.- Ask you nicely what?
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Ask me nicely to marry you, Margaret.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- What does that mean? - You heard me. On your knee.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Fine.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- (CAR HORN HONKING) Does this work for you?- Oh, I like this, yeah.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08- Will you marry me? - No. Say it like you mean it.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10(CLEARS THROAT)
0:20:11 > 0:20:13- Andrew? - Yes, Margaret?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Sweet Andrew?
0:20:16 > 0:20:20- I'm listening.- Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25OK. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27- See you at the airport tomorrow. - Good.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)
0:20:40 > 0:20:43So, these are the questions that INS is gonna ask us.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Now, the good news is I know everything about you.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49The bad news is that you have four days to learn all this about me.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52You should probably get studying.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00- You know the answers to these questions about me?- Scary, isn't it?
0:21:00 > 0:21:04- What am I allergic to?- Pine nuts. And the full spectrum of human emotion.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08- Oh, that's funny. (LAUGHS FALSELY) - Mm-hm.- Um...
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Here's a good one. Do I have any scars?
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- I'm pretty sure that you have a tattoo.- Oh, you're pretty sure?
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Two years ago, your dermatologist called
0:21:16 > 0:21:20and asked about a Q-switched laser. I Googled a Q-switched laser
0:21:20 > 0:21:22and found that they in fact remove tattoos.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25But you cancelled your appointment.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28So, what is it? Tribal ink? Japanese calligraphy? Barbed wire?
0:21:28 > 0:21:32- It's exciting for me to experience you like this.- Thank you.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35- You're gonna have to tell me where it is.- No.- They're gonna ask.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38We're done with that question. On to another question.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Let me see, let me see. Oh, here's one.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Whose place do we stay at, yours or mine? That's easy. Mine.
0:21:44 > 0:21:48- And why wouldn't we stay at mine? - Because I live at Central Park West.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51And you probably live at a squalid little studio apartment
0:21:51 > 0:21:53with stacks of yellowed Penguin Classics.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56(WOMAN) "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts."
0:21:56 > 0:21:59"We are beginning our descent into Juneau."
0:21:59 > 0:22:03- Juneau? I thought we were going to Sitka.- We are.
0:22:03 > 0:22:06Well, how are we getting to Sitka?
0:22:06 > 0:22:09(RUMBLING)
0:22:09 > 0:22:11- (RATTLING) - Whoa.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37All right. Here we go.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43- Where? Oh, there he is! - (WOMEN SQUEAL / CHUCKLE)
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Hi. Hi!
0:22:53 > 0:22:57- Oh! Oh, it's so good to see you! - You're suffocating him, Grace.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00- Come here.- Hey, Gammy. Ah, Gammy. - (CHUCKLES)
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- How are you doing? Where's Dad? - Oh, you know your father.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- He's always working.- Never mind about him. Where's your girl?
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Uh, she's back right there.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14- Ah.- There she is.- I guess the word "girl" is inappropriate.- (Annie!)
0:23:16 > 0:23:19- Hi!- Hello.- Margaret, this is my mom. - Oh, hello.- Yeah, great.
0:23:19 > 0:23:24- This is my gammy, Annie.- Pleasure. - Well, hello there.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Now, do you prefer being called Margaret or Satan's Mistress?
0:23:28 > 0:23:30We've heard it both ways.
0:23:30 > 0:23:34- Actually, we've heard it lots of ways.- She's kidding.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Oh! Oh, OK.- (CHUCKLES) - Thank you so much
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- for, uh, allowing me to be a part of this weekend.- Oh, you're welcome.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44We're thrilled to have you. Lets get you two back to the fort.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- OK. - Oh, it's so good to see you.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51- (GRUNTS) There we are. - (CHUCKLING)
0:24:22 > 0:24:24(Andrew! Andrew!)
0:24:25 > 0:24:27(LOUDER) (Andrew!)
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- (GRUNTS) - (YELPS) Please, don't do that.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33You didn't tell me about all the family businesses, honey.
0:24:33 > 0:24:38- He was probably just being modest, dear.- Oh.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48What are we doing? Shouldn't we check into our hotel now?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Oh, we cancelled your reservation. Family doesn't stay at a hotel.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- You're gonna stay in our home. - Oh, great! Great.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59- What?- Oh, God. You're gonna wanna use your legs to lift that one.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Andrew! Help her with those.
0:25:02 > 0:25:04I'd love to, but she won't let me do anything.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07She insists on doing it all herself. She's a feminist.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14(GRUNTS)
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Come on, sweetie.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21(GAMMY) Did you see the shoes that broad was wearing?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27(GRUNTS)
0:25:31 > 0:25:33This is the last of 'em.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38- Oh!- Ooh. Five second rule. - Got it! Got it.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40That will dry right off.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Psst! Psst! I'm not getting on that boat.
0:25:42 > 0:25:46- You don't have to. See you in a few days.- Psst! You know I can't swim.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Hence, the boat.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58Come on.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Come on. Here we go.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- Looking good, boss. Take your time, though.- Ssh!
0:26:18 > 0:26:21She comes with a lot of baggage.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Just gonna give you a little hand here.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Hand off ass! Off ass!
0:26:29 > 0:26:32There you go. You're there.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Congratulations. I'm a hundred years old now.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43(BOAT ENGINE STARTING)
0:27:05 > 0:27:08(GRACE) Here we are. We're home.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12That is your home?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Who are you people?
0:27:29 > 0:27:32- Why did you tell me you were poor? - I never said I was poor.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35- But you never told me you were rich. - I'm not rich. My parents are rich.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37That's something only rich people say.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42- (WOMAN) Hey, Andrew! Welcome home! - Hi! Uh, Mom, wh-what is this?
0:27:42 > 0:27:46Nothing. It's just a little welcoming party. Is that a crime?
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Just 50 of our closest friends and neighbours,
0:27:48 > 0:27:52- and all excited to meet you. - Oh, good. Good.- Come on. Come on.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- A party? - Yeah, I guess so.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Come on. Let's go. My grandma's moving faster than you.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00- (GRUNTS) - Put your back into it.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04# "I've Got You Under My Skin" - Michael Buble
0:28:04 > 0:28:07(WOMAN) So nice to meet you. Welcome to Sitka.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- Jill? Hi.- Nice to meet you. - My pleasure.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13- Why didn't you tell me you were some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?- How could I?
0:28:13 > 0:28:16We were in the middle of talking about you for the last three years.
0:28:16 > 0:28:20Timeout, OK? This bickering Bickerson thing has got to stop.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23- People need to think we are in love, so -- That's no problem.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26I can do that. I can pretend to be the doting fiance. That's easy.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30But you, you have to stop snacking on children while they dream.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Very funny. When are you gonna tell them we're engaged?
0:28:32 > 0:28:35- I'll pick the right moment. - Hey, Andrew.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37Hi!
0:28:37 > 0:28:40Mrs McKittrick. How are you? Nice to see you.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43- Nice to see you. This is Margaret. - Hi. Pleasure.
0:28:43 > 0:28:46- Margaret! - Hi, how are you? Pleasure.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48I always wanted to know, what does a book editor do?
0:28:48 > 0:28:51(MAN) That's a great question, Louise.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53I'm curious to know the answer myself.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55- Hello, Dad. - Son.
0:28:55 > 0:28:59- This must be Maggie. - Uh, Margaret.
0:28:59 > 0:29:03- Joe. Pleasure to meet you. - Pleasure's mine.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06So, uh, why don't you tell us exactly what a book editor does
0:29:06 > 0:29:09besides taking writers out to lunch and getting bombed.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13(LOUISE) Now that sounds like fun. No wonder you like being an editor.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17No, Andrew's not an editor, he's an editor's assistant.
0:29:17 > 0:29:21- Maggie here is the editor. - Margaret.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24- So, you're actually Andrew's boss? - Yeah.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26- Well, how about that. - Huh.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- I think I'll get a refill. - Hm.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Charming.
0:29:36 > 0:29:40- That's a hell of a first impression, Dad.- What the hell, Andrew?
0:29:40 > 0:29:44You show up with this woman you hated. Now she's your girlfriend?
0:29:44 > 0:29:48Can we wait a second before we throw the kitchen sink at each other?
0:29:48 > 0:29:51I never figured you for a guy who slept his way to the middle.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54That that woman is one of the most respected editors.
0:29:54 > 0:29:57She's your meal ticket. You brought her to meet your mother.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01She's not my meal ticket, Dad. She's my fiancee.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05- What'd you say? - You heard me. I'm getting married.
0:30:08 > 0:30:12- How are you?- Good.- Would you care for some hors d'oeuvres?
0:30:12 > 0:30:14- No, I'm fine. Thank you. - It's a tradition.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17- It's the texture. I'm not a fish person.- You'll like it.
0:30:17 > 0:30:21- You're very sweet. - I think if you'll just taste it.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23(MUFFLED) Thank you so much.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29Ladies and gentlemen, I have an important announcement to make.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- Margaret and I are getting married. - Yes. It's paprika.- I'm so sorry.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36That's OK. It's wash-and-wear.
0:30:37 > 0:30:41(ANDREW) Yep. Honey? Where you at?
0:30:41 > 0:30:43Uh... Here it is.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48- Oh... - Come on down here, pumpkin.
0:30:48 > 0:30:53- All right.- OK.- Oh, look at her. Look at her.- (APPLAUSE)
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Right there, ladies and gentlemen. There she is.
0:30:55 > 0:30:59- (WOMAN) Congratulations, Andrew. - Oh, thank you.
0:30:59 > 0:31:03- Thank you very much. - (WOMAN) Let's get the champagne!
0:31:03 > 0:31:05(CORK POPS) (LAUGHTER)
0:31:05 > 0:31:09So, that was your idea of the perfect time to tell them we're engaged?
0:31:09 > 0:31:12- Mm.- It was brilliant. Brilliant timing.- Andrew. Hi.
0:31:12 > 0:31:17Gert? Oh, my God. Hey, hi. Wow. How you doing? I didn't know -
0:31:17 > 0:31:22Your mom probably wanted it to be a surprise, so... surprise.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26- Right.- (LAUGHS) And we're being completely rude.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30- Hi.- Oh, God. This is my ex... - Hi. I'm Gertrude.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32- Oh! Oh, wow. Wow! - You can call me Gert.
0:31:32 > 0:31:36- Well, congratulations, you guys. - Thank you.- Thank you.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- So, did I miss the story? - What story?- What story?
0:31:39 > 0:31:44- About how you proposed. - Oh! How a man proposes
0:31:44 > 0:31:47- says a lot about his character. - Yes.- Yes, it does.
0:31:47 > 0:31:51I actually would love to hear the story, Andrew. Would you tell us?
0:31:51 > 0:31:54- (MAN) Yeah. - (CROWD MURMURS) Yeah. (GIGGLING)
0:31:54 > 0:31:59You know what? Actually, Margaret loves telling this story,
0:31:59 > 0:32:02so I'm just gonna let her go ahead and do that.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06- I think we should just sit in rapture.- Huh! Wow, OK.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10- Wow, where to begin... this story. - (CHUCKLES)
0:32:10 > 0:32:15Well... um, wow. Mm, yeah.
0:32:15 > 0:32:20OK, well, um, Andrew and I...
0:32:20 > 0:32:25Andrew and I were about to celebrate our first anniversary together,
0:32:25 > 0:32:29and I knew he'd been itching to ask me to marry him and he was scared.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33Like a little tiny bird. So, I started leaving him little hints
0:32:33 > 0:32:36because I knew he wouldn't have the guts to ask, but -
0:32:36 > 0:32:40- That's not exactly how it happened. - No?- No.- Hm.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43No. I mean, I picked up on all her little hints.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46- This woman's about as subtle as a gun.- (ALL LAUGH)
0:32:46 > 0:32:50What I was worried about was that she might find this little box -
0:32:50 > 0:32:53Oh, the decoupage box that he made,
0:32:53 > 0:32:58where he'd taken the time to cut out tiny little pictures of himself. Yes.
0:32:58 > 0:33:02Just pasted all over the box. Oh! So beautiful.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04So I opened that beautiful little decoupage
0:33:04 > 0:33:08and out fluttered these tiny, little handcut heart confettis,
0:33:08 > 0:33:14and once they cleared, I looked down, and I saw the most beautiful, big -
0:33:14 > 0:33:17- Fat nothing. - (ALL) Oh.- No ring.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20- No ring?- What? - No.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23But inside that box, underneath all that crap,
0:33:23 > 0:33:27there was a little handwritten note with the address to a hotel,
0:33:27 > 0:33:30date, and time. Real Humphrey Bogart-type stuff.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33- (MAN) Yeah! - Masculine.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36- (GRUNTS) - Anyway, naturally, Margaret -
0:33:36 > 0:33:39I thought he was seeing someone else. It was a terrible time for me,
0:33:39 > 0:33:41but I went to that hotel anyway.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43I went there and I pounded on the door,
0:33:43 > 0:33:48but the door was already unlocked. And as swung open that door,...
0:33:48 > 0:33:50- ..there he was,... - Standing.- ..kneeling.
0:33:50 > 0:33:54- Like a man.- On a bed of rose petals, in a tuxedo. Your son.
0:33:54 > 0:33:59Your son. And he was choking back soft, soft sobs.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03And when he held back the tears and finally caught his breath, he said -
0:34:03 > 0:34:06"Will you marry me?" And she said, "Yep." The end. Who's hungry?
0:34:06 > 0:34:08(CROWD COOING)
0:34:10 > 0:34:12That is quite a story.
0:34:12 > 0:34:16- (GAMMY) Oh, Andy!- Gorgeous. - You are so sensitive.
0:34:16 > 0:34:22- Handcut confetti? (LAUGHS) - Hey! Lets see a kiss
0:34:22 > 0:34:25- from you two cuties.- (MAN) Give her a kiss!- No. Come on.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27- Oh, yeah. - (GLASSES CLINKING)- Come on!
0:34:27 > 0:34:30OK, all right. OK. Here we go. Ready?
0:34:30 > 0:34:35- Mwah!- (LAUGHTER) What is this? Kiss her on the mouth like you mean it!
0:34:35 > 0:34:39- (WOMAN) Kiss, kiss, kiss! - (CHANTS) Kiss her, kiss her!
0:34:39 > 0:34:41(ALL CHANT) Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!
0:34:41 > 0:34:45- Kiss her! Kiss her! - OK! OK.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49- OK, all right. Here we go. - OK. OK. Just...
0:34:49 > 0:34:52- (BOTH) Mwah! - Oh!- Yes!
0:34:52 > 0:34:55Andy! Give her a real kiss!
0:34:55 > 0:34:58- (CHUCKLES) Gammy. - A real one!
0:34:58 > 0:35:01- (WOMAN) You can do it.- (Why don't we just do it really fast?)
0:35:01 > 0:35:04- OK. - (BOTH) Mmmm.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07(APPLAUSE)
0:35:07 > 0:35:09- (MUFFLED) OK. - Mm.- Hmm.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20Hm.
0:35:20 > 0:35:22I'm so happy for you two!
0:35:22 > 0:35:28- So happy! So happy! - (WOMAN) Let's get the champagne!
0:35:28 > 0:35:30So, here we are.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35- This is your bedroom. - Wow.
0:35:37 > 0:35:41Wow, this is, um,... beautiful. A-And the view.
0:35:41 > 0:35:45- And here's the bed. - Hm? Wow! Exquisite bed. Exquisite.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48So, uh, where is, um, Andrew's room?
0:35:48 > 0:35:50Oh, we're not under any illusions
0:35:50 > 0:35:53that you two don't sleep in the same bed.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55- (LAUGHS) - He'll sleep in here with you.
0:35:55 > 0:35:59- Great, cos we love to snuggle, don't we, honey?- We're huge snugglers.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01(DOG BARKS) Oh, my God. What is it?
0:36:01 > 0:36:05- Whoa!- Calm down, Kevin. - Whoa! You are cute.
0:36:05 > 0:36:10- Oh!- Who is this?- That's Kevin. I'm sorry, Margaret.- So cute.
0:36:10 > 0:36:14We just rescued him from the pound, and he's still in training. Sorry.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16Just be sure you don't let him outside,
0:36:16 > 0:36:20- or the eagles will snatch him. - No, don't you listen to her.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24- She's just pulling your leg, isn't she?- There are extra towels
0:36:24 > 0:36:27- and linens and things in here if you need them.- And if you get chilly,
0:36:27 > 0:36:31use this. It has special powers.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34Oh, what kind of... What kind of special powers?
0:36:34 > 0:36:37- I call it the Baby Maker. - OK, well. Then I guess we...
0:36:37 > 0:36:41..gonna be super careful with that one. Don't throw it on the bed.
0:36:41 > 0:36:44We'd better turn in. It's been quite an evening. Good night, everybody.
0:36:44 > 0:36:49- Good night.- Sleep well.- Good night. - OK, good night, Gammy.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52- (CHUCKLES) Good night. - Good night.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57- Good night.- Good night, Gammy. Thank you so much.
0:36:57 > 0:36:59- Sweet dreams.- Bye-bye, now. - Bye.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02(DOOR CLOSING)
0:37:02 > 0:37:05So, uh, you haven't been home in a while.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08I haven't had a lot of vacation time the last three years.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10Stop complaining.
0:37:13 > 0:37:16Um,... don't look, OK?
0:37:16 > 0:37:18OK.
0:37:19 > 0:37:22- Are your... Are your eyes closed? - Completely.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.
0:37:33 > 0:37:37Those are the pyjamas you decided to bring to Alaska?
0:37:37 > 0:37:40Uh, yes, because I was supposed to be in a hotel alone.
0:37:40 > 0:37:44- Remember? - Can we just go to sleep?- Fine.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Great.
0:37:47 > 0:37:49(EXHALES)
0:37:53 > 0:37:55(EXHALES / CLEARS THROAT)
0:38:12 > 0:38:14(SIGHS) Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
0:38:15 > 0:38:19Looks like I won't be getting much sleep with the sun streaming in.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27Thank you.
0:38:41 > 0:38:43(PHONE RINGING)
0:38:47 > 0:38:50(Andrew! Phone!)
0:38:50 > 0:38:52(Andrew!)
0:38:52 > 0:38:55(Crap. Andrew, Andrew, phone.)
0:38:55 > 0:38:58- Andrew! - Yeah, right.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04- (Andrew, where is it?) - Purse, side pocket.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) (THUMPING)
0:39:07 > 0:39:09(PANTS)
0:39:09 > 0:39:12Hello. Hello? Hello?
0:39:13 > 0:39:16Frank! Frank, darling. Darling, Frank.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18Are you there? Hello? Hello? Oh, crap.
0:39:18 > 0:39:21I have horrible service, Frank. Give me just one minute.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24- Oh, my God! Margaret! - (One... One minute.)
0:39:24 > 0:39:28Frank, hold on just a second. Frank, hold on. No, no, no, no.
0:39:28 > 0:39:32Frank. Frank, I'm sorry you feel I pressured you into doing Oprah,
0:39:32 > 0:39:36but... Of course I want you to be happy. Yes, yes.
0:39:36 > 0:39:42Frank. Frank. Frank, darling. Frank? It's going to be fine.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44I can just call them and I can cancel.
0:39:48 > 0:39:53You are so right, Frank. Yes, of course I am listening to you.
0:39:53 > 0:39:57- Yes. I love listening to you, Frank. - (BARKS)
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Ssh! Sit! Sit!
0:40:00 > 0:40:03No. Not you, Frank. No, no...
0:40:03 > 0:40:05- (YAPS) - Frank, if I may get down to it,
0:40:05 > 0:40:09I think it would be a mistake to back out.
0:40:09 > 0:40:12Because for so many years, you have - (BIRD CRIES)
0:40:12 > 0:40:15..inspired me with your beautiful words...
0:40:15 > 0:40:19(DOG BARKS) Dog, I'm on the phone! It's time that the world
0:40:19 > 0:40:22got to enjoy them, as well. They are just so rich with...
0:40:22 > 0:40:27passion, that I think we should all be privy to, and...
0:40:27 > 0:40:30Frank, I just, er... I just want you to be happy!
0:40:30 > 0:40:34Gimme that dog! And I need you to hold on just a second!
0:40:34 > 0:40:37Just a second! Gimme that dog!
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Come on! Come on, come on, come on!
0:40:40 > 0:40:44Oh! Oh, oh! OK, OK!
0:40:44 > 0:40:48Right, Frank. Right. So sorry! So sorry, so sorry!
0:40:48 > 0:40:52I dropped the phone. Frank, I don't want to sell you on anything,
0:40:52 > 0:40:57but this is your legacy, and it's up to you to present it to the world.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00And... And... call me tomorrow with your decision,
0:41:00 > 0:41:03and my phone is on all the time! (GASPS) Wait!
0:41:03 > 0:41:05No! No! No, no, no...
0:41:05 > 0:41:09Take the doggie. I need the phone. Take the dog!
0:41:09 > 0:41:11Take the dog! I need that phone!
0:41:11 > 0:41:14Take the dog! Take it!
0:41:14 > 0:41:18- (BOTH LAUGH) - Is that cute, or what?
0:41:18 > 0:41:20I know!
0:41:20 > 0:41:23Morning, guys. Have you seen... Er...
0:41:23 > 0:41:27She's playing with Kevin. We thought she didn't like him.
0:41:27 > 0:41:30Go get her, Andy. We have a whole day planned for her,
0:41:30 > 0:41:34- and she needs to get ready.- Tell her we have a big surprise for her.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Hmm...
0:41:38 > 0:41:41Look! Give me my phone! Please just give me my phone!
0:41:41 > 0:41:44- Come on! - What the hell are you doing?
0:41:44 > 0:41:48My God, your grandmother was right. The eagle tried to take the dog.
0:41:48 > 0:41:52I saved him, and then it came back and took my phone!
0:41:52 > 0:41:56- Are you drunk?- I'm serious! Frank's calling me on that phone.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59Relax, all right? We'll order another phone,
0:41:59 > 0:42:02- same number, and get it tomorrow. - Really?- Yeah.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04Oh, OK.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07- All right. Well, you can go, then. - You have to get ready.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11- You're going out with Mom and the girls.- I don't wanna go out.
0:42:11 > 0:42:15- Shopping, sightseeing, and a surprise.- I hate shopping.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18- You're going. - I'm not going.- Yes, you are.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Give me a hug. They'll think we're fighting.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23- I don't wanna touch you. - Hug time.- I don't wanna! Andrew!
0:42:23 > 0:42:27Oh, there we go! Yeah, that's nice.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31Yeah. That's nice.
0:42:31 > 0:42:35- There we go! Isn't that nice? - Mm-hm.
0:42:35 > 0:42:38- Boop-boop-boop! - If you touch my ass one more time,
0:42:38 > 0:42:42- I will cut your balls off in your sleep. OK?- Yeah.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45- There you go. So, are we clear on that?- Yeah.
0:42:45 > 0:42:49- Yeah. You're such a good fiance. - Yeah.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04- (HITS BALL) Jeez... - You wanted to see me?
0:43:04 > 0:43:09Your mom found these eco balls. They dissolve in water.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14I dunno how she comes up with this stuff.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17Anyway, she, er,... is a little peeved.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21Apparently I wasn't the most gracious of hosts last night.
0:43:21 > 0:43:25It was a little bit of a shock to find out you're getting married,
0:43:25 > 0:43:29especially when none of us even knew you were dating.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32The point is,... I owe you an apology.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35Accepted.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37And there's something else.
0:43:37 > 0:43:42I've been going over my retirement plans recently.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44It got me thinking.
0:43:44 > 0:43:47I've done a lot of things in my life,
0:43:47 > 0:43:50practically built an empire from the ground up...
0:43:50 > 0:43:53- Doesn't mean anything - - Without someone to leave it to.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56- We already discussed this. - I'd like to discuss it again.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59You have responsibilities here.
0:43:59 > 0:44:04I've been more than understanding about you goofing off in New York.
0:44:04 > 0:44:08- I need you to quit playing around - - What I do is serious.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11- You don't act seriously. - I'm sorry.
0:44:12 > 0:44:17I feel sorry for you, Dad. I wish you had another son. I really do.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20One who wanted to take over the family business,
0:44:20 > 0:44:24marry somebody you approve of, but it's not me.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27It must seem strange to you, my life, sitting in an office,
0:44:27 > 0:44:30reading books. But it makes me happy.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33Understand?
0:44:35 > 0:44:39If that's what makes you happy, son, I got nothing to say.
0:44:39 > 0:44:43Well, that's a first. You know what? Apology not accepted.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45Have fun out here.
0:44:57 > 0:45:00(ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)
0:45:04 > 0:45:07I hope you are ready for your big surprise,
0:45:07 > 0:45:10because this is one of Sitka's greatest treasures.
0:45:10 > 0:45:12- Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.
0:45:12 > 0:45:16OK, this is the big surprise I was telling you about!
0:45:16 > 0:45:20- You ready?- (PULSATING INTRO TO "RELAX" - FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD)
0:45:20 > 0:45:23- Oh, Margaret, you are gonna love it! - (CHEERING)
0:45:29 > 0:45:32# When you wanna come...
0:45:32 > 0:45:34(ALL CHEER AND SCREAM)
0:45:34 > 0:45:38# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it
0:45:38 > 0:45:40# Relax, don't do it
0:45:40 > 0:45:42# When you wanna come
0:45:42 > 0:45:46# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna suck to it
0:45:46 > 0:45:49# Relax, don't do it
0:45:49 > 0:45:52# When you wanna come
0:45:52 > 0:45:57- He's the only exotic dancer on the island.- We're lucky to have him!
0:45:58 > 0:46:00# Relax, don't do it
0:46:00 > 0:46:02# When you wanna go to it
0:46:02 > 0:46:04# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come
0:46:04 > 0:46:07Work it, Ramone!
0:46:07 > 0:46:10- Wow! - Over here, Ramone!
0:46:10 > 0:46:13Over here, honey!
0:46:13 > 0:46:16Show her what she's gonna be missing!
0:46:16 > 0:46:19- Come, my sexy princess. - Oh, not necessary.
0:46:19 > 0:46:23It's a really nice gesture, but I really need to...
0:46:23 > 0:46:26OK. Pluck my eyes out. OK.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29OK. Here we go. (ALL CHEER)
0:46:29 > 0:46:32(PULSATING MUSIC CONTINUES)
0:46:32 > 0:46:35(ALL CHEER AND WHISTLE)
0:46:35 > 0:46:37Give it to her, Ramone!
0:46:42 > 0:46:46Give it to her!
0:46:51 > 0:46:54(ALL SCREAM)
0:46:54 > 0:46:56# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna... #
0:46:56 > 0:46:59That's a move I haven't seen!
0:46:59 > 0:47:03- Look at her face! - (ALL LAUGH)
0:47:12 > 0:47:15I don't wanna touch you.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18Oh, OK. Thanks. Very sweet.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21No, no, no... (POUNDING MUSIC CONTINUES)
0:47:21 > 0:47:25- Smack him! - What?- Smack his ass!
0:47:25 > 0:47:29Smack him? Oh, OK. Um...
0:47:29 > 0:47:32- Smack him, Margaret! - Give it to him!
0:47:35 > 0:47:37Can I get down now?
0:47:37 > 0:47:41# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna...
0:47:41 > 0:47:44(CHEERING) (POUNDING MUSIC)
0:47:47 > 0:47:50Free! Be free...
0:47:57 > 0:48:00Hey, there you are! How you holding up?
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Oh, fine, fine. Just working on my tan.
0:48:03 > 0:48:07Uh-huh. The Paxtons can be a bit overwhelming at times.
0:48:07 > 0:48:09Yes. Yes.
0:48:09 > 0:48:12- It's a little different than New York, huh?- A little bit.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15- You ever been? - No.- No?
0:48:15 > 0:48:19- That was Andy's dream, not mine. - You guys were pretty serious, huh?
0:48:19 > 0:48:23Well, we dated in high school and all through college,
0:48:23 > 0:48:25but we were kids.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29And you guys called it off because of...
0:48:29 > 0:48:32Well, um,...
0:48:33 > 0:48:36..the night before we graduated school,
0:48:36 > 0:48:39he proposed, and said he wanted to elope
0:48:39 > 0:48:42and run away to New York with me.
0:48:42 > 0:48:45- And... - You said no.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47And I said no.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50Yeah. I've never been anywhere but here.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52This is home.
0:48:52 > 0:48:59But, anyway, you're a lucky girl. He really is the best.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01Which you obviously already know.
0:49:01 > 0:49:05Oh, yep. Yep. Very much so. Yeah.
0:49:06 > 0:49:10Well,... cheers to you guys.
0:49:11 > 0:49:13Oh. Thank you.
0:49:16 > 0:49:19(MUSIC POUNDS) (ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)
0:49:19 > 0:49:22Looks like Ramone's wrapping it up!
0:49:22 > 0:49:25- Go, Annie! - Whoo!
0:49:26 > 0:49:30- I've never seen him so... - No, he really got down.
0:49:30 > 0:49:34- (BOTH LAUGH) - He was wonderful.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36Oh, no!
0:49:38 > 0:49:43- (ROCK MUSIC BLARES OVER HEADPHONES) - Andrew!
0:49:43 > 0:49:48Andrew, honey, is everything OK?
0:49:48 > 0:49:51- Wh-... What's he doing? - Er, something's up.
0:49:51 > 0:49:55It's best to leave him alone. Come on, honey.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58(MUSIC CONTINUES TO BLARE)
0:49:58 > 0:50:01- "(COMMENTARY)" - Hey, what are you doing?
0:50:01 > 0:50:04- I'm watching that. - Why is Andrew out there
0:50:04 > 0:50:07hollowing out that old stupid canoe again?
0:50:07 > 0:50:11- Maybe he's planning to escape. Why? - Er, I'm so tired.
0:50:11 > 0:50:15I think I'm gonna take a shower, wash off Ramone's coconut body oil.
0:50:15 > 0:50:18- Sure. - I had a great day today. Thank you.
0:50:20 > 0:50:23- What did you do? - I didn't do anything.
0:50:23 > 0:50:27I mean, I just had a frank conversation with him
0:50:27 > 0:50:30- about his future. - Oh, that's a good idea(!)
0:50:30 > 0:50:34That's a good idea, because he will never come back home now.
0:50:34 > 0:50:38He's my son. I only get to see him every three years because of you!
0:50:38 > 0:50:42- Because of you! I've had enough. - (BARKS)
0:50:42 > 0:50:45- You are gonna be supportive of him marrying Margaret...- Ssh!
0:50:45 > 0:50:48- (CONTINUES TO BARK) - If we're not careful,
0:50:48 > 0:50:52we are gonna end up in this great big house, just you and me,
0:50:52 > 0:50:55alone, and everything we're angry about,
0:50:55 > 0:51:00and God forbid that they should have a grandchild we never get to see.
0:51:00 > 0:51:04You are gonna fix this, Joe! I mean it. Fix it now!
0:51:08 > 0:51:11# Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it
0:51:11 > 0:51:15# Relax... Oh, where's a towel?
0:51:18 > 0:51:21(ROCK MUSIC BLARES OVER HEADPHONES)
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Towel...
0:51:25 > 0:51:27Towel, towel, towel...
0:51:27 > 0:51:32This is what they have for a towel?! Ridiculous. I can't get dry!
0:51:34 > 0:51:37Hello? (MUSIC CONTINUES TO BLARE)
0:51:37 > 0:51:40Hello?
0:51:44 > 0:51:46Oh!
0:51:46 > 0:51:49That's OK... (DOG BARKS)
0:51:49 > 0:51:54Oh, no, no, no. Just... I'm sorry. Let me just get a towel.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56- Just get a towel. - (BARKS)- Oh!
0:51:56 > 0:51:59Look, you need to... I'm sorry, OK?
0:51:59 > 0:52:02I'm sorry for feeding you to the eagle.
0:52:02 > 0:52:04(DOG CONTINUES TO BARK)
0:52:06 > 0:52:08- Go away. - (BARKS)
0:52:08 > 0:52:11Just let me get a towel. Go!
0:52:15 > 0:52:18(HAIRDRYER ROARS)
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Ah! Huh?
0:52:20 > 0:52:23- (WHIMPERS) - How you like that? Huh?
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Take it. Take it. That's what I'm talking about.
0:52:26 > 0:52:30You like that?
0:52:30 > 0:52:32Oh... You like it.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40- Come here. Come to Momma. - (BARKS)
0:52:40 > 0:52:44That's right. Get on the carpet. That's a good boy!
0:52:44 > 0:52:47Yes! That's a good boy!
0:52:47 > 0:52:50- Come on! Come on! - (BARKS)
0:52:54 > 0:52:56- Oh! - What the...
0:52:58 > 0:53:00- Oh! - Oh, my God!
0:53:00 > 0:53:04- Why are you naked? - Why are you wet?- Don't look at me!
0:53:04 > 0:53:08- I don't understand! Why are you wet? - Don't... look at me!
0:53:08 > 0:53:13Oh, you're showing everything! Cover it up, for the love of God!
0:53:15 > 0:53:18Not the baby-maker... Explain yourself, please!
0:53:18 > 0:53:21- Explain myself? - Yes.- I was outside!
0:53:21 > 0:53:24- And you didn't hear me? - I was listening to...
0:53:24 > 0:53:27What are you doing home? You jumped me out of nowhere!
0:53:27 > 0:53:30I didn't mean to! Your dog was attacking me,
0:53:30 > 0:53:35- and I had to run, and I ran into you! - What is it with you and this dog?
0:53:35 > 0:53:38- Just... You know! Just... go! Go! - Fine.
0:53:38 > 0:53:41- Go take a shower. You stink. - Nice tattoo, by the way.- What?
0:53:41 > 0:53:46- (BARKS) - See? Exactly! You see that?!
0:53:46 > 0:53:48Oh, barely made it out with my life there!
0:53:48 > 0:53:51See the size of the teeth on that thing?
0:54:00 > 0:54:03(CLEARS THROAT / RUSTLES SHEETS)
0:54:05 > 0:54:07So,...
0:54:09 > 0:54:11..so naked!
0:54:11 > 0:54:15Can we, er, not talk about that, please?
0:54:15 > 0:54:17Just sayin'.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24So, er, what's the deal with you and your father?
0:54:24 > 0:54:28Oh! I'm sorry. That question is not in the binder.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32Really? I thought you said we needed to learn all this...
0:54:32 > 0:54:35- Not about that. - But if the guy asks -
0:54:35 > 0:54:38Not about that, Margaret! Good night.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50(SIGHS)
0:54:50 > 0:54:53- (CLEARS THROAT) - I like the Psychic Network.
0:54:55 > 0:54:59- What?- Not in the "isn't it funny, she likes that trash" kind of way.
0:54:59 > 0:55:02I actually quite enjoy it.
0:55:02 > 0:55:03Um...
0:55:06 > 0:55:09I took disco lessons in the sixth grade.
0:55:11 > 0:55:15My first concert was Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19I think Brian Dennehy is sexy.
0:55:19 > 0:55:24Don't like flowers in the house cos they remind me of funerals.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26Never played a video game.
0:55:26 > 0:55:29I read Wuthering Heights every Christmas.
0:55:30 > 0:55:33It's my favourite book.
0:55:35 > 0:55:39Haven't... slept with a man in over a year now.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44And I went to the bathroom and cried
0:55:44 > 0:55:47after Bob called me a poisonous bitch.
0:55:48 > 0:55:52And the, er, bird tattoo... They're swallows.
0:55:54 > 0:55:59Got them when I was 16, after my parents died.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04It was stupid. (CLEARS THROAT)
0:56:04 > 0:56:06I'm sure there's many, many other things,
0:56:06 > 0:56:10but that's all I can come up with right now.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18Are you, er, there?
0:56:19 > 0:56:21I'm here.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26Just processing.
0:56:31 > 0:56:35- You really haven't slept with anyone in 18 months?- Oh, my God!
0:56:35 > 0:56:38- Out of all that, that's all you got? - That's a long time!
0:56:38 > 0:56:41- Yeah, well, I've been a little busy. - Yeah...
0:56:44 > 0:56:49- Who's, er,... Rob Base and DJ... - E-Z Rock?
0:56:49 > 0:56:52- Yeah. - You know!
0:56:52 > 0:56:54# It takes two to make a thing go right
0:56:54 > 0:56:57# It takes two to make it out of sight...
0:56:57 > 0:56:59- No?- Nn-nn. - They were good.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04- (CHUCKLES) - What?
0:57:04 > 0:57:07Nothing.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10I know who they are. I just wanted to hear you sing it.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12(LAUGHS)
0:57:14 > 0:57:16(GRUNTS)
0:57:18 > 0:57:21- Margaret? - Yes?
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Don't take this the wrong way.
0:57:26 > 0:57:28OK.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31You are a very,...
0:57:31 > 0:57:34very beautiful woman.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40# I'm gonna rock right now
0:57:40 > 0:57:43# I'm Rob Base and I came to get down
0:57:43 > 0:57:45(BOTH) # I'm not internationally known
0:57:45 > 0:57:47# But I'm known to rock the microphone
0:57:47 > 0:57:51- (PIERCINGLY)- # It takes two to make a thing go right
0:57:51 > 0:57:55- (LAUGHS)- # It takes two to make it out of sight
0:57:55 > 0:57:58- # Dah-dah-dah- # It takes two to make a thing go right
0:57:58 > 0:58:01Feel it deep, feel it low.
0:58:01 > 0:58:04# It takes two... God, I can't sing that high!
0:58:04 > 0:58:07(BOTH LAUGH)
0:58:27 > 0:58:30(GASPS) Where am I?
0:58:30 > 0:58:33What time is it? "(BEEPING)" What time is it?
0:58:33 > 0:58:36(AUTOMATIC BLINDS WHOOSH) Ooh! Ssh, ssh...
0:58:36 > 0:58:38Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh! (WHOOSHING STOPS)
0:58:50 > 0:58:52Oh, God!
0:59:11 > 0:59:16- (KNOCK AT DOOR)- Room service! Breakfast for the happy couple!
0:59:16 > 0:59:18- (Andrew! Andrew!) - (GRUNTS)
0:59:18 > 0:59:20(Andrew!)
0:59:20 > 0:59:22(Your mother's at the door! Get up!)
0:59:22 > 0:59:26(Up here.) Just a second!
0:59:29 > 0:59:33- Not the baby blanket!- All right... - Not the baby blanket. Get it off!
0:59:33 > 0:59:36- Not the baby... All right. - Wait a second. Hold on.
0:59:36 > 0:59:40- What?- Are you wearing makeup? - No, of course not!
0:59:40 > 0:59:42- What do I do? - Just spoon me. Spoon.
0:59:42 > 0:59:46- Oh, my God, what is that? - I'm sorry! It's morning!
0:59:46 > 0:59:49- What do you mean, it's morning? - Are you OK?
0:59:49 > 0:59:52Come in! One second. Everything's fine!
0:59:52 > 0:59:56Disgusting... Ow! You're on my hair. OK, just...
1:00:02 > 1:00:04- Oh, wow! - Ooh, smells good!
1:00:04 > 1:00:08- Cinnamon rolls!- You shouldn't have gone to that trouble.
1:00:08 > 1:00:11Oh, you're family now. It's no trouble.
1:00:11 > 1:00:13Hey! Room for one more?
1:00:13 > 1:00:17Wow. Could we not do the Brady family meeting right now?
1:00:17 > 1:00:19We just got up.
1:00:19 > 1:00:22Your mother and I have a proposition,
1:00:22 > 1:00:25and I think it's a terrific idea...
1:00:25 > 1:00:28We want you to get married here tomorrow.
1:00:29 > 1:00:33- What? What... - You're gonna get married anyway,
1:00:33 > 1:00:37so why don't you get married here, where we can be all together,
1:00:37 > 1:00:40and that way Grandma Annie can be a part of it.
1:00:40 > 1:00:43- Oh... - No.- No.
1:00:43 > 1:00:46It's Gammy's big birthday tomorrow night.
1:00:46 > 1:00:49- Big day for her. - We don't wanna ruin it.
1:00:49 > 1:00:53I've had 89 birthday parties. I don't need another one!
1:00:53 > 1:00:56- Oh, Gammy... - It would be a dream come true
1:00:56 > 1:00:58for me to see my one grandchild's wedding.
1:00:58 > 1:01:02A dream come true! So you'll do it?
1:01:02 > 1:01:04Nn-nn...
1:01:04 > 1:01:07- Before I'm dead? - (BOTH) OK!- OK, fine!
1:01:07 > 1:01:09- (BOTH LAUGH) - Yes!
1:01:09 > 1:01:14We will do everything. You can get married like we did, in the barn!
1:01:14 > 1:01:17- It's a Paxton family tradition! - Oh, wow!
1:01:17 > 1:01:20- Yup! - Wow!
1:01:20 > 1:01:24- Oh, I've always wanted to get married in a,... in a barn!- I have.
1:01:24 > 1:01:28It's a sign! A sign from the universe
1:01:28 > 1:01:32that you're meant to be together. We must give thanks, I tell you.
1:01:32 > 1:01:35Come, come. We must give thanks.
1:01:35 > 1:01:38OK. I know I should leave you alone now.
1:01:38 > 1:01:41- But we're just so excited! - (BOTH LAUGH)
1:01:41 > 1:01:44- It's the greatest! - Really excited!
1:01:44 > 1:01:46Go! Go!
1:01:46 > 1:01:48Go...
1:01:52 > 1:01:54Oh, my God.
1:01:54 > 1:01:57When my mom finds out that this whole thing is a sham,
1:01:57 > 1:02:00she's gonna be crushed, and my grandmother's gonna die.
1:02:00 > 1:02:04- She won't find out.- My father! What's with the wedding thing?
1:02:04 > 1:02:08- Where did that come from? - She got him worked up into it.
1:02:08 > 1:02:10- She's not gonna find out. - Oh, God! Margaret!
1:02:10 > 1:02:15They're not gonna find out, OK? Just relax. It's gonna be OK.
1:02:15 > 1:02:18It's not like we're gonna be married forever.
1:02:18 > 1:02:21We'll be happily divorced before we know it. It'll be fine.
1:02:21 > 1:02:24It'll be fine.
1:02:24 > 1:02:25OK?
1:02:25 > 1:02:28Yeah.
1:02:31 > 1:02:33- I'll get us some coffee. - Yeah.
1:02:33 > 1:02:38So, would you like a cinnamon soy latte?
1:02:38 > 1:02:39(LAUGHS)
1:02:43 > 1:02:47You're right. We'll get a quickie divorce. We'll be fine.
1:02:47 > 1:02:50- It's gonna be fine. - Everything is going to be great.
1:02:50 > 1:02:53This little missus will learn to cook,
1:02:53 > 1:02:57so she can take care of her husband. Don't want him leaving me
1:02:57 > 1:03:00- for another woman. - Haven't left you yet, Margaret.
1:03:00 > 1:03:03I got it. Let go.
1:03:05 > 1:03:07- You all right? - Yeah! Um...
1:03:07 > 1:03:10- You know what? I'm gonna go. - Where?
1:03:10 > 1:03:13I just kinda feel like going outside.
1:03:13 > 1:03:17- All right. Um, that's the bathroom. - Oh, yeah. I know.
1:03:17 > 1:03:21- I'm gonna go to the bathroom, then I'm gonna go outside.- All right.
1:03:21 > 1:03:24Whoo! All right.
1:03:34 > 1:03:38OK. You just... You just have to focus, Margaret.
1:03:38 > 1:03:42Just focus. This is a business deal. This is just a business deal.
1:03:42 > 1:03:45Everything's gonna be just fine.
1:03:47 > 1:03:51OK, this is a little rough... I can do this...
1:03:51 > 1:03:55(BIKE RATTLES) Oh, my God! God, I hate nature!
1:03:55 > 1:03:58I hate it! Not stopping...
1:03:58 > 1:04:02Oh, why are you not stopping?!
1:04:02 > 1:04:04Stop, stop, stop! Stop!
1:04:04 > 1:04:06(GASPS)
1:04:06 > 1:04:10I just wanted... some air.
1:04:10 > 1:04:12OK...
1:04:12 > 1:04:14(LOW, SLOW DRUMBEAT)
1:04:14 > 1:04:17What is that? (FLUTE MELODY)
1:04:17 > 1:04:19What now? What is that?
1:04:19 > 1:04:22(DRUMBEAT CONTINUES) What is that?
1:04:22 > 1:04:24What is that...?
1:04:32 > 1:04:36(MUSIC CONTINUES) (WOMAN CHANTS)
1:04:36 > 1:04:38What is that?
1:04:38 > 1:04:42(WOMAN CONTINUES TO CHANT IN NATIVE AMERICAN LANGUAGE)
1:04:48 > 1:04:51(CONTINUES TO CHANT)
1:04:51 > 1:04:56(CALLS OUT A SUMMONS) Come to me, Margaret of New York!
1:04:57 > 1:04:59It is I, Grandma Annie!
1:04:59 > 1:05:03- Oh! - I see you are a curious one.
1:05:03 > 1:05:06Come. See how I give thanks to Mother Earth.
1:05:06 > 1:05:09You know, I'm actually not that curious. I'll just...
1:05:09 > 1:05:12Look around you. Mother Earth has provided all this,
1:05:12 > 1:05:17just as she brought you and Andrew together to be joined.
1:05:17 > 1:05:19- Oh! - We must give thanks,
1:05:19 > 1:05:22and ask that your loins be abundantly fertile.
1:05:22 > 1:05:26Come, dance with me in celebration!
1:05:26 > 1:05:29You know, can I just thank her from here?
1:05:29 > 1:05:32- I insist! - OK! OK, OK...
1:05:32 > 1:05:36I will, er... I will come down and dance with you.
1:05:37 > 1:05:40Follow and learn.
1:05:40 > 1:05:44(CHANTS IN NATIVE AMERICAN LANGUAGE)
1:05:44 > 1:05:47Come on, Margaret! Feel the rhythm of the drums!
1:05:47 > 1:05:49- Now you! - Me, what?
1:05:49 > 1:05:52- Chant!- Chant what? - Whatever comes to you!
1:05:52 > 1:05:55- It is the way. - But I don't know any chants.
1:05:55 > 1:05:59To the trees! Use your vowels. Eee! Ooo!
1:05:59 > 1:06:02- Ooo, eee... - Yes! Chant!
1:06:02 > 1:06:04Eee... The trees...
1:06:04 > 1:06:08- To the universe! - The universe! Ah, yes. Universe!
1:06:08 > 1:06:12(Oh, to the crazy... To the window, to the window!)
1:06:12 > 1:06:15(To the wall, to the wall, to the sweat drip down my balls,
1:06:15 > 1:06:18- (to all you bitches...) - Louder!
1:06:18 > 1:06:19# To the window, to the window
1:06:19 > 1:06:21# To the walls, to the walls
1:06:21 > 1:06:23# To the sweat drip down my balls
1:06:23 > 1:06:25# To all you bitches, crawl
1:06:25 > 1:06:26# All skeet-skeet, mother
1:06:26 > 1:06:28# All skeet-skeet, goddamn
1:06:28 > 1:06:31# To the window, to the wall
1:06:31 > 1:06:34# To the sweat drip down my balls
1:06:34 > 1:06:36# To all you bitches, crawl
1:06:36 > 1:06:38# All skeet-skeet, goddamn
1:06:38 > 1:06:41# To the window, to the window
1:06:41 > 1:06:42# To the wall, to the wall
1:06:42 > 1:06:44# To the sweat drip down my, oh
1:06:44 > 1:06:46# To all you bitches, crawl
1:06:46 > 1:06:48# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...
1:06:48 > 1:06:52Gammy! Let's take it to the bridge! Whoo!
1:06:52 > 1:06:54# Let me see you get low, you scared, you scared
1:06:54 > 1:06:55- # Drop your ass to the floor - # You scared
1:06:55 > 1:06:58# Let me see you get low, you scared, you scared
1:06:58 > 1:07:00- # Drop your ass to the floor - # You scared
1:07:00 > 1:07:01# Let me see you get low, you scared, you scared
1:07:01 > 1:07:03- # Your butt to the flo', you scared - # You scared
1:07:03 > 1:07:05# Stop, now wiggle it
1:07:05 > 1:07:07# Now stop, whoo, wiggle it...
1:07:07 > 1:07:09What you doing?
1:07:09 > 1:07:11Oh! Er...
1:07:11 > 1:07:15Yeah, you know, Gammy wanted me to,...
1:07:15 > 1:07:17you know, chant from the heart.
1:07:17 > 1:07:21Balls? That's what came to your heart?
1:07:21 > 1:07:23You know, it, er,... went with the beat.
1:07:23 > 1:07:27- Your phone arrived. Wanna come pick it up?- Oh, yes!
1:07:27 > 1:07:32I wanna go. Oh... Hold on. Is it OK if I go with him?
1:07:32 > 1:07:35Whatever you do is what shall be.
1:07:35 > 1:07:37But you're OK if I go?
1:07:37 > 1:07:40- Fine! (LAUGHS) - Bye, Gammy.
1:07:40 > 1:07:43- You're a freak... - Shut up!
1:07:43 > 1:07:47- (LAUGHS) - Would you, please?- (LAUGHS) Ow!
1:08:04 > 1:08:07- Hey, buddy! - Andrew! Hey!
1:08:07 > 1:08:10- You got that phone I ordered? - Yes. It came in. How are you?
1:08:10 > 1:08:12- Great. You? - Good!
1:08:13 > 1:08:15Hola!
1:08:15 > 1:08:18- Hey! Hi! - Remember this?
1:08:18 > 1:08:22- # Relax, don't do it... - Yes. Wonderful.
1:08:22 > 1:08:24- Wonderful. - Remember that?- Yes!
1:08:24 > 1:08:28- # Don't do it...- I know! - # When you wanna come...
1:08:29 > 1:08:32I think you made quite an impression on Ramone.
1:08:32 > 1:08:35The part where I burst into tears really brought us together.
1:08:35 > 1:08:39Fun fact about Andrew, number 11. I like Pringles. They're delicious.
1:08:39 > 1:08:42All Hostess products. Coke, never Pepsi. Beef jerky.
1:08:42 > 1:08:45- What are you, like, 13? - Mmm!- Here we go.
1:08:45 > 1:08:48- It's all charged up, Andrew. - Thanks, buddy.
1:08:48 > 1:08:51And I put your lady's number in, too.
1:08:51 > 1:08:54- Thank you. - Milady!
1:08:54 > 1:08:56(SQUEAKS PLAYFULLY)
1:08:56 > 1:08:59Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you.
1:09:03 > 1:09:06Oh, my God. I have 37 messages.
1:09:06 > 1:09:10Shit! I need a computer. Is there a computer in this godforsaken town?
1:09:13 > 1:09:17OK. When it runs out, it gives you a warning.
1:09:17 > 1:09:19Just put in more dimes.
1:09:19 > 1:09:23- There you go. - What... You're kidding. Dimes?!
1:09:23 > 1:09:25I'll be outside. Yell if you need me.
1:09:25 > 1:09:28- What am I supposed to do... - You'll be fine.
1:09:28 > 1:09:33OK, I can figure this out. I'm an intelligent woman.
1:09:33 > 1:09:36Block 'em out, block 'em out. There you go. OK.
1:09:36 > 1:09:39(CLEARS THROAT) Now... "(DIAL-UP TONE WHISTLES)"
1:09:39 > 1:09:43What is that? What is that? "(WHISTLING / HISSING)"
1:09:44 > 1:09:47Um... Er, excuse me. Excuse...
1:09:50 > 1:09:53"(BEEPING)" OK. Just...
1:09:55 > 1:09:57OK.
1:10:23 > 1:10:27- So, it was nice to see Gertrude, huh? - Yeah!
1:10:27 > 1:10:31- She looked really pretty today. - Yeah, she did.
1:10:31 > 1:10:35Mm-hm. Must be nice to see each other again,
1:10:35 > 1:10:39- and just catch up. - It's definitely good to see her.
1:10:39 > 1:10:41Definitely. It's been a long time.
1:10:41 > 1:10:45Oh, there they are! There they are! Margaret!
1:10:45 > 1:10:49- We need Margaret. - We're gonna have to steal you away.
1:10:49 > 1:10:53- Oh, no. I'm just gonna... - Not to worry! No strippers,
1:10:53 > 1:10:57- no chanting in the woods. Promise! - Oh, well...- Come on.
1:10:57 > 1:11:00But not you. It's girl stuff. You'd hate it.
1:11:00 > 1:11:03- But... - Come on!
1:11:03 > 1:11:07OK. Well, I... Are these shoes OK for what we're gonna do?
1:11:07 > 1:11:10I can't believe this is happening!
1:11:10 > 1:11:13My mother made this dress by hand,
1:11:13 > 1:11:17in this very shop, in 1929! (LAUGHS)
1:11:17 > 1:11:20It's funny how things come back in style.
1:11:20 > 1:11:24- Just finishing up the buttons. - Don't worry about the fit.
1:11:24 > 1:11:27- Annie is the best tailor in southeast Alaska.- Oh...!
1:11:30 > 1:11:33Well, incredible. Maybe a tad loose in certain areas,
1:11:33 > 1:11:35- but otherwise... - Oh, sorry.
1:11:35 > 1:11:39I'm a bit chesty to begin with, and I happened to be knocked up
1:11:39 > 1:11:42when I wore this. (LAUGHS)
1:11:42 > 1:11:44Oh... Let's see if we can find your boobs.
1:11:46 > 1:11:49- They're in there somewhere. - Er, it's there.
1:11:49 > 1:11:52This is like an Easter-egg hunt!
1:11:52 > 1:11:55Maybe they shrunk up in the cold Alaskan air.
1:11:55 > 1:11:59- (ALL LAUGH) - Oh, there they are!
1:11:59 > 1:12:02- Yes. That would be... - There, that's right.
1:12:02 > 1:12:05I was thinking, if you like,
1:12:05 > 1:12:09maybe we could head down your way for the holidays this year.
1:12:09 > 1:12:12Oh! That would, er... That would be nice.
1:12:12 > 1:12:14Or maybe we could come to you, too.
1:12:16 > 1:12:18Well, that would be lovely.
1:12:19 > 1:12:22I would like that very much.
1:12:22 > 1:12:25Oh, Grace, for godsake! We got work to do.
1:12:25 > 1:12:28- I know. Sorry. - Go make yourself some tea.
1:12:28 > 1:12:30I'll finish this. Go!
1:12:30 > 1:12:34Now, let's make this absolute perfection.
1:12:36 > 1:12:38(CHUCKLES)
1:12:38 > 1:12:42Now, just one special touch, and you're ready.
1:12:46 > 1:12:50It's been in the family for more than 150 years.
1:12:50 > 1:12:55- Annie, it's beautiful, but I - - Ssh! I'm not finished.- Oh, sorry.
1:12:55 > 1:12:59My great grandfather gave it to my great grandmother
1:12:59 > 1:13:03when they got married. They were quite a scandal, you know.
1:13:03 > 1:13:06He was Russian and she was Tlingit.
1:13:06 > 1:13:10Back then, you had to get approval from every member of the tribe
1:13:10 > 1:13:13before you got married. Almost broke them up!
1:13:13 > 1:13:15Well, how did they stay together, then?
1:13:15 > 1:13:18She was a lot like you. Tough.
1:13:18 > 1:13:21Wouldn't take no for an answer.
1:13:21 > 1:13:23She was good for him.
1:13:23 > 1:13:26I want you to have it.
1:13:26 > 1:13:29- I can't. - I don't wanna hear it!
1:13:29 > 1:13:33Grandmothers love to give their stuff to their grandchildren.
1:13:33 > 1:13:36It makes us feel like we'll still be part of your lives
1:13:36 > 1:13:39even after we're gone. Take it!
1:13:43 > 1:13:46- (CLEARS THROAT) - Are... Are you...
1:13:46 > 1:13:48Are you all right, dear?
1:13:48 > 1:13:51(SIGHS) I, er...
1:13:53 > 1:13:56I... Well, um...
1:13:58 > 1:14:00I, er...
1:14:00 > 1:14:03I just, er... I just wanted to...
1:14:03 > 1:14:06make sure there was enough time to get all the sewing done.
1:14:06 > 1:14:11Oh! Don't you worry about that! You're gonna be beautiful.
1:14:11 > 1:14:14Now, let's get you out of those pins.
1:14:36 > 1:14:39All right!
1:14:40 > 1:14:42(STARTS ENGINE)
1:14:43 > 1:14:46Get this untied... Hop on in.
1:14:50 > 1:14:52Hey! Hey, hey!
1:14:52 > 1:14:56Whoa! What... Mind telling me what the hell's wrong?
1:14:56 > 1:15:00I just needed to get away from everybody! Stop talking, please!
1:15:07 > 1:15:11Do you mind telling me what's happening now?
1:15:11 > 1:15:13Margaret!
1:15:14 > 1:15:17- Margaret! - I forgot, OK?
1:15:17 > 1:15:21- You forget what?- I forgot what it was like to have a family!
1:15:21 > 1:15:24I've been on my own since I was 16. I forgot what it felt like
1:15:24 > 1:15:27to have people love you, and make you breakfast,
1:15:27 > 1:15:30and say, "We'd love to come down for the holidays,"
1:15:30 > 1:15:33and I say, "Why don't we come up and see you instead,"
1:15:33 > 1:15:37and give you necklaces, and you have all that here, and you have Gertrude,
1:15:37 > 1:15:40- and I'm just screwing it up! - No. I agreed to this.
1:15:40 > 1:15:44- I was there, remember? - Your family loves you.- I know that!
1:15:44 > 1:15:47- And you'd put them through this? - They're not gonna find out!
1:15:47 > 1:15:50- How do you know? - You said so yourself.
1:15:50 > 1:15:53- My God, if your mother... - Agh!
1:15:53 > 1:15:56- The boat is moving! - What if Gammy finds out?
1:15:56 > 1:16:01- She's gonna have a heart attack! - She's gonna be fine! Calm down!
1:16:01 > 1:16:03Hold on!
1:16:04 > 1:16:07Whoa! I don't think that hijacking a boat
1:16:07 > 1:16:11is the proper way to express your frustration.
1:16:11 > 1:16:15Now... Oh, now you decide to shut up... Margaret?!
1:16:16 > 1:16:19- Margaret?! - Andrew!- Margaret!
1:16:22 > 1:16:24Andy!
1:16:24 > 1:16:27Margaret, to the buoy!
1:16:27 > 1:16:29- What? - To the buoy!
1:16:29 > 1:16:31OK!
1:16:44 > 1:16:48- All right! Come on. Gimme your hand. - (SOBS)- Gimme your hand!
1:16:48 > 1:16:50Margaret!
1:16:50 > 1:16:54Gimme... Come on, gimme your hand. Come on. I got you, I got you.
1:16:55 > 1:16:57I got you.
1:16:59 > 1:17:02Come on! God, what the hell were you thinking?
1:17:02 > 1:17:05- You could have been killed. - You turned the boat,
1:17:05 > 1:17:08- and made me fall in, you jackass. - You let go the wheel, Ahab.
1:17:08 > 1:17:12- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Come here. You got to get warm.
1:17:12 > 1:17:15Come on. Come on.
1:17:15 > 1:17:17It's OK.
1:17:19 > 1:17:21It's OK.
1:17:23 > 1:17:25It's OK.
1:17:55 > 1:17:57I wanna talk to both of you.
1:18:09 > 1:18:12Your mother is never to hear about any of this.
1:18:23 > 1:18:27- Told you I'd check up on you! - What did you do?
1:18:27 > 1:18:30I got a phone call from Mr Gilbertson here,
1:18:30 > 1:18:34who told me that if you were lying, and he believes that you are,
1:18:34 > 1:18:38he would send you to prison. So I flew him up here.
1:18:38 > 1:18:40- Dad... - Luckily for you,
1:18:40 > 1:18:43your father negotiated a deal on your behalf.
1:18:43 > 1:18:47Now, this offer's gonna last for 20 seconds, so listen closely.
1:18:47 > 1:18:50You're gonna make a statement admitting this marriage is a sham,
1:18:50 > 1:18:54or you go to prison. Tell the truth, you're off the hook.
1:18:54 > 1:18:56And she is gonna go back to Canada.
1:19:02 > 1:19:04Er,... take the deal.
1:19:04 > 1:19:08- I don't think so. - Don't be stupid, Andrew!
1:19:08 > 1:19:11You want a statement? I've been working for Margaret Tate
1:19:11 > 1:19:15for three years. We fell in love. I asked her to marry me.
1:19:15 > 1:19:18She said yes. I'll see you at the wedding.
1:19:28 > 1:19:30Ah, hell...
1:19:50 > 1:19:52So,...
1:19:54 > 1:19:56..you sure about this?
1:19:56 > 1:19:58Not really.
1:20:01 > 1:20:05I mean, I am very appreciative of what you've done,
1:20:05 > 1:20:08- but I think that... - You'd do the same for me, right?
1:20:08 > 1:20:12- (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Hope everyone is decent!
1:20:12 > 1:20:15You need to come with me. Tomorrow's your wedding day.
1:20:15 > 1:20:19Give the baby-maker a rest tonight. It's tradition.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22- We're not gonna use... - Kiss your bride good night.
1:20:22 > 1:20:25You got your whole lives to be together. Come on!
1:20:25 > 1:20:27Come on!
1:20:32 > 1:20:35- If I don't go with her, she's gonna...- Come right back.
1:20:35 > 1:20:38Yeah.
1:20:44 > 1:20:47- See you in the morning? - Yep.
1:21:01 > 1:21:03"(TV CHATTER)"
1:21:13 > 1:21:15(SWITCHES OFF)
1:21:44 > 1:21:46(BABBLE OF VOICES)
1:21:48 > 1:21:50Hey, Gammy.
1:21:51 > 1:21:53Thanks, Gammy.
1:21:53 > 1:21:56(LOW MURMUR OF CONVERSATION)
1:21:59 > 1:22:01# "Canon In D Major" - Pachelbel
1:23:00 > 1:23:03Everyone, please be seated.
1:23:07 > 1:23:10- Ramone. - (Mi amor!)
1:23:12 > 1:23:15We are gathered here today
1:23:15 > 1:23:17to give thanks
1:23:17 > 1:23:19and to celebrate...
1:23:19 > 1:23:23one of life's greatest moments,
1:23:23 > 1:23:28to give recognition to the beauty, honestly and unselfish ways
1:23:28 > 1:23:31of Andrew and Margaret's true love
1:23:31 > 1:23:34in front of family and friends.
1:23:34 > 1:23:39For it is their family and friends who taught Andrew and Margaret
1:23:39 > 1:23:42to love, so it is only right
1:23:42 > 1:23:46that family and friends are -
1:23:49 > 1:23:53- Mi amor, do you have a question? - Er, no.
1:23:54 > 1:23:57Your hand is up.
1:23:59 > 1:24:02Oh, it's... It's not a question.
1:24:02 > 1:24:05- But I do have something I need to say.- (Margaret!)
1:24:06 > 1:24:09- Can it wait till after? - Er...
1:24:11 > 1:24:14No. No.
1:24:24 > 1:24:27(CLEARS THROAT) Hi, there. (ALL, UNCERTAINLY) Hi.
1:24:27 > 1:24:29Thank you all so much for coming out.
1:24:29 > 1:24:34I have, er, a bit of an announcement to make about the wedding.
1:24:34 > 1:24:37- A confession, actually. - What are you doing?
1:24:37 > 1:24:42I am a Canadian. Yes, Canadian, with an expired visa,
1:24:42 > 1:24:45who was about to be deported.
1:24:45 > 1:24:48And because I didn't want to leave this wonderful country of yours,
1:24:48 > 1:24:53- I forced Andrew here to marry me. - Margaret, stop it.
1:24:53 > 1:24:56Andrew has always had this extraordinary work ethic.
1:24:58 > 1:25:00Something I think he learned from you.
1:25:00 > 1:25:04For three years, I watched him work harder than anyone else
1:25:04 > 1:25:08at our company, and I knew that if I threatened to destroy his career,
1:25:08 > 1:25:11he would do just about anything.
1:25:14 > 1:25:18So I blackmailed him to come up here and to lie to you.
1:25:20 > 1:25:26All of you. And I thought it would be easy to watch him do it.
1:25:27 > 1:25:30But it wasn't.
1:25:31 > 1:25:34Turns out it's not easy to ruin someone's life,
1:25:34 > 1:25:37once you find out how wonderful they are.
1:25:37 > 1:25:40(ASTONISHED WHISPERING)
1:25:43 > 1:25:45You have a beautiful family.
1:25:45 > 1:25:48Don't let this come between you.
1:25:51 > 1:25:54This was my fault.
1:25:54 > 1:25:57- Margaret... - Andrew, this was a business deal.
1:25:57 > 1:26:01And you held up your end, but now the deal is off.
1:26:03 > 1:26:05Sorry.
1:26:05 > 1:26:10You, meet me at the dock. You're giving me a ride to the airport.
1:26:18 > 1:26:22(ALL MURMUR)
1:26:25 > 1:26:28- What were you thinking? - I don't know!
1:26:28 > 1:26:31Let me get my head on straight, OK? I'll explain everything later.
1:26:31 > 1:26:34I'm sorry.
1:27:09 > 1:27:12"You were right. This book is special.'
1:27:12 > 1:27:16"I lied because publishing meant I'd lose you as an assistant,
1:27:16 > 1:27:19"but you have an extraordinary eye, and I'll make sure we buy this
1:27:19 > 1:27:24"before I leave. Have an amazing life. You deserve it. Margaret."
1:27:26 > 1:27:29Well, that was, er,... crazy.
1:27:29 > 1:27:33You know, people are gonna be talking about this forever.
1:27:35 > 1:27:37Yeah. Yeah.
1:27:37 > 1:27:41- Are you OK? - Yeah.
1:27:41 > 1:27:44No. Er...
1:27:45 > 1:27:49I just feel... You know what the problem is?
1:27:49 > 1:27:55The problem is that this woman is a gigantic pain in my ass.
1:27:55 > 1:27:58First of all there's the whole leaving thing. I understand that.
1:27:58 > 1:28:01It's a sham wedding. It's kinda stressful.
1:28:01 > 1:28:04Then she goes ahead and she leaves this note,
1:28:04 > 1:28:08because she doesn't have the decency to do it to my face.
1:28:08 > 1:28:12Three years! Three years I work with this,... this terrorist,
1:28:12 > 1:28:14never once has she had a nice thing to say.
1:28:14 > 1:28:17- Then she writes this crap! - Andrew...
1:28:17 > 1:28:20- And none of that matters, cos we had a deal!- Andrew!
1:28:20 > 1:28:24I'm sorry. I just, er... She just makes me a little crazy.
1:28:24 > 1:28:27Yeah. I can see that.
1:28:27 > 1:28:30So... you're just gonna let her go?
1:28:44 > 1:28:46So, what now?
1:28:46 > 1:28:49Well, now that you're leaving voluntarily,
1:28:49 > 1:28:51it all becomes very civilised.
1:28:51 > 1:28:56Once we land in New York, you have 24 hours to head back to Canada.
1:29:04 > 1:29:07- Andrew, what's happening now? - I got to talk to her.- Why?
1:29:07 > 1:29:10- Stop it! - I'm not gonna let you do this.- Stop!
1:29:10 > 1:29:13- I'm not asking your permission. - Agh!
1:29:13 > 1:29:16Annie! Joe! Joe!
1:29:16 > 1:29:19Gammy?! Joe!
1:29:19 > 1:29:22I'm having a... heart attack.
1:29:22 > 1:29:25- Somebody get a doctor! - Easy! Easy, Mom!
1:29:57 > 1:29:59Andrew!
1:30:01 > 1:30:04You two need to stop fighting!
1:30:04 > 1:30:07You'll never see eye to eye,
1:30:07 > 1:30:09but...
1:30:09 > 1:30:12you're family!
1:30:14 > 1:30:16Promise me...
1:30:16 > 1:30:19you'll stand by Andrew...
1:30:19 > 1:30:22even if you don't agree with him.
1:30:24 > 1:30:27I promise!
1:30:27 > 1:30:29Andrew,...
1:30:30 > 1:30:35..promise me you'll work harder to be a part of this family.
1:30:36 > 1:30:38I will.
1:30:40 > 1:30:43I will, Gammy.
1:30:43 > 1:30:45Well, then,...
1:30:45 > 1:30:48the spirits can take me.
1:30:48 > 1:30:51Gammy...
1:30:56 > 1:30:59Gammy?
1:31:04 > 1:31:09I guess they're not ready for me. I'm feeling much better, sonny.
1:31:09 > 1:31:13No need to take us to the hospital. Take us to the airport, please.
1:31:13 > 1:31:15Mom, are you faking a heart attack?!
1:31:15 > 1:31:20It was the only way I could make you shut up and get us to the airport.
1:31:20 > 1:31:23- Ma'am, I'm not authorised to - - Larry Ferris,
1:31:23 > 1:31:26- don't make me call your mother. - You got it.
1:31:28 > 1:31:30Scared the hell out of me!
1:31:34 > 1:31:39Yeah. You should have given up back in New York.
1:31:39 > 1:31:42See,... I'm like Eliot Ness.
1:31:42 > 1:31:44I always get my man.
1:31:44 > 1:31:47I'm that good.
1:31:48 > 1:31:521601, as soon as you're in position, you're cleared for take-off.
1:31:52 > 1:31:55"Roger that, Chuck."
1:32:01 > 1:32:03OK. Come on, come on.
1:32:05 > 1:32:09- (MOBILE RINGS) - (LAUGHS) Tower! Talk to me!
1:32:09 > 1:32:12- Chuck! It's Drew Paxton. - "Hey, dude!"
1:32:12 > 1:32:15I have a little favour I need from you, buddy.
1:32:15 > 1:32:18- Margaret's on that plane. Can you stop it?- "Oh, yeah!"
1:32:18 > 1:32:22- I heard about her bailing. Drag-ola! - "CHUCK!"
1:32:22 > 1:32:24I need you to stop the plane. Please!
1:32:24 > 1:32:27"I can't do that. (LAUGHS)"
1:32:27 > 1:32:30No, no, no. No, no, no, no! Come on!
1:32:30 > 1:32:32Oh, no!
1:32:34 > 1:32:36No!
1:32:38 > 1:32:41- What's wrong?- Margaret's on board. - And he didn't get to tell her!
1:32:41 > 1:32:43- Tell her what?- That he loves her.
1:32:43 > 1:32:46So she could tell him she loves him.
1:32:46 > 1:32:49- But how...- If she didn't love him, she wouldn't have left.
1:32:49 > 1:32:52- Am I the only one not getting this? - Oh, Joe!
1:32:52 > 1:32:55Chuck! Chuck! Look down!
1:32:55 > 1:32:58Oh! Look down, like...
1:32:58 > 1:33:01"Oh, there you are! Sorry, man. There was nothing I could do."
1:33:03 > 1:33:05Thanks, Chuck.
1:33:07 > 1:33:12I'm sorry, son. I... I didn't know how you felt about her.
1:33:16 > 1:33:18Honey, it's gonna be OK.
1:33:49 > 1:33:51Jordan?
1:34:09 > 1:34:12- Jordan... - (BOTH CHATTER)- Jordan!
1:34:12 > 1:34:16I need for you to send the boxes in my office
1:34:16 > 1:34:19to this address, please. This one right here.
1:34:19 > 1:34:22This address right here, OK? Can you do that?
1:34:22 > 1:34:26- Er, yes. Sure. - Fine. All right. Thank you.
1:34:26 > 1:34:28- Miss Tate? - Yes? What? What?
1:34:30 > 1:34:33(PANTS) Hey.
1:34:34 > 1:34:37Andrew!
1:34:41 > 1:34:44Why... Why are you... panting?
1:34:44 > 1:34:46Because I've been running.
1:34:46 > 1:34:49- Really? From Alaska? - I need to talk to you.
1:34:49 > 1:34:53I don't have time to talk. I need to catch a 5:45 to Toronto.
1:34:53 > 1:34:56- Margaret... - I need the boxes to go today. I -
1:34:56 > 1:34:58Margaret! Stop talking!
1:35:00 > 1:35:03- (ALL GASP) - I got to say something.
1:35:03 > 1:35:05- OK. - It'll just take a sec.
1:35:05 > 1:35:09- Fine. What? - Three days ago,...
1:35:10 > 1:35:15..I loathed you. I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab.
1:35:15 > 1:35:18- Or poisoned.- Oh, that's nice. - I told you to stop talking.
1:35:19 > 1:35:23Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska, and things changed.
1:35:23 > 1:35:26Things changed when we kissed.
1:35:28 > 1:35:31And when you told me about your tattoo.
1:35:31 > 1:35:34- (ASTONISHED WHISPERING) - Even when you checked me out
1:35:34 > 1:35:38- when we were naked. - (ALL GASP)- Naked!
1:35:38 > 1:35:41- Well, I didn't see anything. - Yeah, you did.
1:35:41 > 1:35:44But I didn't realise any of this until I was standing alone
1:35:44 > 1:35:48in a barn,... wifeless.
1:35:48 > 1:35:51Now, you can imagine my disappointment
1:35:51 > 1:35:54when it suddenly dawned on me that the woman I love
1:35:54 > 1:35:58- is about to be kicked out of the country.- (ALL GASP)
1:35:58 > 1:36:00So, Margaret,...
1:36:03 > 1:36:05..marry me.
1:36:07 > 1:36:09Because I would like to date you.
1:36:21 > 1:36:25Trust me. You don't really wanna be with me.
1:36:25 > 1:36:27Yes, I do.
1:36:27 > 1:36:29See, the thing is,...
1:36:29 > 1:36:32there is a reason I've been alone all this time.
1:36:33 > 1:36:37I'm comfortable that way, and it would just be a lot easier
1:36:37 > 1:36:40if we forgot everything that happened,
1:36:40 > 1:36:43and I just left.
1:36:45 > 1:36:47You're right.
1:36:52 > 1:36:54That would be easier.
1:37:09 > 1:37:13- I'm scared. - Me, too.
1:37:16 > 1:37:19(ALL GASP AND LAUGH)
1:37:35 > 1:37:39(Aren't you supposed to get down on your knee or something?)
1:37:39 > 1:37:42- I'm gonna take that as a "yes". - Oh, OK.
1:37:52 > 1:37:55(ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)
1:37:55 > 1:37:59- (MAN) - Yeah! Show her who's boss, Andrew!
1:37:59 > 1:38:01(ALL LAUGH)
1:38:01 > 1:38:04(ALL APPLAUD)
1:38:06 > 1:38:10'So, let me see if I've got this right.'
1:38:10 > 1:38:13- You two are engaged again? - Yes.- Yes.
1:38:13 > 1:38:16For... real?
1:38:16 > 1:38:19- Yes.- Yeah. - You sure you wanna do this?
1:38:19 > 1:38:23Because one wrong answer, I'm gonna take... you... down.
1:38:25 > 1:38:28- OK. - OK.
1:38:29 > 1:38:31Let's do it!
1:38:32 > 1:38:35# "It Takes Two" - Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock
1:38:39 > 1:38:43- When did you first start to date? - Last week.
1:38:43 > 1:38:46- Is that going well? - So far it's great. Thank you.
1:38:46 > 1:38:50- What deodorant does Andrew use? - Men's Speed Stick.- What flavour?
1:38:50 > 1:38:53Musk? Alpine?
1:38:53 > 1:38:56- Was it love at first sight? - No.
1:38:56 > 1:38:59I loved her from the beginning.
1:39:00 > 1:39:03- What side of the bed does Margaret sleep on?- The left.
1:39:03 > 1:39:05What side do you sleep on?
1:39:06 > 1:39:10Look... Are they soul-mates? (SQUEAKS INCONCLUSIVELY)
1:39:10 > 1:39:13Will they kill each other? No.
1:39:13 > 1:39:16- Are you a good driver? - Oh, excellent driver. Excellent.
1:39:16 > 1:39:20(MAKES METALLIC CRUNCHING SOUNDS / IMITATES SIREN)
1:39:22 > 1:39:27In my mind I see her perhaps with someone more swarthy, darker.
1:39:27 > 1:39:30We don't use the word "Margaret" around Kevin.
1:39:30 > 1:39:33He still hasn't warmed up to her.
1:39:33 > 1:39:35- "Margaret"! - (BARKS)
1:39:35 > 1:39:39- "Margaret"!- (BARKS) - See? It's the damnedest thing!
1:39:39 > 1:39:43I have never farted in front of him, nor will I ever.
1:39:43 > 1:39:46She farts in her sleep.
1:39:46 > 1:39:49- Is Margaret a good dancer? - You can tell by the way
1:39:49 > 1:39:52she drinks her soda pop that she's a good dancer.
1:39:52 > 1:39:54Uh-huh?
1:39:54 > 1:39:57How is the soda pop relevant to the dancing?
1:39:57 > 1:40:00I don't understand this...
1:40:00 > 1:40:03- I call him, er, puppy... - Pumpkin?
1:40:03 > 1:40:05- Monkey. - Daisy.- Kiddo.
1:40:05 > 1:40:08- Er, bird. - Sometimes I call him Rick.
1:40:10 > 1:40:13- How do you spell Ramone? - (SPELLS WITH STRONG ACCENT)
1:40:13 > 1:40:16Could you do that again in English, please?
1:40:16 > 1:40:20- When you say the position... - Top or bottom?
1:40:20 > 1:40:23You're asking me a question about who's on top?!
1:40:23 > 1:40:27- You took an oath when you came in. - When did I take an oath?
1:40:27 > 1:40:30- Well, Laura should've done that... - Who's Laura?
1:40:30 > 1:40:32The girl behind you. Don't look around.
1:40:32 > 1:40:36- Which of the following numbers is not a prime?- 17!
1:40:36 > 1:40:38I'm sorry. Let me say the list, please.
1:40:38 > 1:40:41- I'm sorry? - He knew your favourite colour.- Blue?
1:40:41 > 1:40:43- Wrong! - Red?- No!
1:40:43 > 1:40:48- Dark... Maybe like a hunter green? - No. White.- White?!
1:40:48 > 1:40:52- Blue.- What's your favourite colour when she is not at home?
1:40:52 > 1:40:54I don't know.
1:40:54 > 1:40:58- Are you a citizen of this country? - Yes, I'm a citizen! (LAUGHS)
1:40:58 > 1:41:02Are you crazy?! (LAUGHS)
1:41:02 > 1:41:05What relevance a ball in a net, or a fruit roll-up,
1:41:05 > 1:41:09or a pop tart, has to do with my relationship...
1:41:09 > 1:41:12If you're getting excited... Who are you engaged to?
1:41:13 > 1:41:14Andrew.
1:41:14 > 1:41:17Good! Got one right!
1:41:18 > 1:41:20- Who are you engaged to? - I'm engaged to Margaret Tate.
1:41:20 > 1:41:26At the wedding day, who will be next to you?
1:41:26 > 1:41:28I'm going to marry Margaret Tate.
1:41:28 > 1:41:30- Final answer? - That work? Final answer.
1:41:30 > 1:41:34What, is this a game show? I don't understand what...
1:41:34 > 1:41:37# God bless America
1:41:37 > 1:41:40# Lands that I love...
1:41:40 > 1:41:43- That's a great song. - That was beautiful.
1:41:43 > 1:41:45- Really beautiful. - Mama Cass.
1:41:47 > 1:41:50# It takes two to make a thing go right
1:41:51 > 1:41:54# It takes two to make it out of sight
1:41:55 > 1:41:58# It takes two to make a thing go right
1:41:59 > 1:42:02# It takes two to make it out of sight
1:42:02 > 1:42:05# All right now, EZ Rock now
1:42:05 > 1:42:07# When I count to three, I want you to get busy
1:42:07 > 1:42:08# You ready now?
1:42:08 > 1:42:11- # One, two, three, get loose, now - # It takes two to make a
1:42:11 > 1:42:13# It take two to make a
1:42:13 > 1:42:16# It take two to make a, it takes two to make a
1:42:16 > 1:42:19# It takes two to make a
1:42:19 > 1:42:21# It takes two to make a
1:42:24 > 1:42:26# It takes two to make a thing go right
1:42:28 > 1:42:30# It takes two to make it out of sight
1:42:32 > 1:42:34# It takes two to make a thing go right... #