0:02:01 > 0:02:04MILITARY BAND PLAYS FANFARE
0:02:38 > 0:02:41The Queen. God bless her.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Queen Victoria, the symbol of her age -
0:02:46 > 0:02:50an age of progress, beauty and virtue.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54An age when science blossomed like a magic flower
0:02:54 > 0:02:57and all mankind fell beneath its spell.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01To this generation, all things seemed possible.
0:03:01 > 0:03:06The scientist and the engineer were personally encouraged by royalty
0:03:06 > 0:03:09and at the forefront of every experiment were the nobility -
0:03:09 > 0:03:12men like His Grace, the Duke of Barset.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16- VICTORIA:- And it is men like our beloved cousin the Duke of Barset
0:03:16 > 0:03:20who have done so much to encourage the advancement of science,
0:03:20 > 0:03:24thereby enriching the daily life of our subjects
0:03:24 > 0:03:26throughout the Empire.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29And so, before pulling this main switch,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32we would like to congratulate him
0:03:32 > 0:03:37on becoming the first man to illuminate his house
0:03:37 > 0:03:40completely by electricity.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58BELLS CLANG
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Fired by enthusiasm,
0:04:11 > 0:04:14the Victorians probed ever deeper into the mysteries of science,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17and thereby achieved miracles of engineering.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20The Trent Suspension Bridge -
0:04:20 > 0:04:23crowning glory in the career of that great civil engineer,
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Sir Charles Dillworthy.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- VICTORIA:- And so, it gives us the greatest pleasure
0:04:29 > 0:04:35to open this new suspension bridge -
0:04:35 > 0:04:39the tenth to be designed and constructed
0:04:39 > 0:04:42by Sir Charles Dillworthy.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55MILITARY BAND PLAYS FANFARE
0:05:10 > 0:05:13HORSES WHINNY
0:05:21 > 0:05:24An age of experiment, of trial and error.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26And at this hour of trial,
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Sir Charles Dillworthy realised his error -
0:05:29 > 0:05:34his business partner, Captain Sir Harry Washington-Smythe.
0:05:34 > 0:05:39Public works contractor, financial genius, sportsman.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41How exactly does it work?
0:05:41 > 0:05:44It's quite simple, Captain, really -
0:05:44 > 0:05:46electromagnetic bars on each pocket,
0:05:46 > 0:05:49you merely switch on with your selector switch here
0:05:49 > 0:05:51which pocket you want and you play.
0:05:54 > 0:05:55Not with those, Captain.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Centres of sold steel.
0:06:06 > 0:06:08Ah-ha...
0:06:14 > 0:06:18By Jove, Grundle - it's an absolute corker!
0:06:18 > 0:06:20I mean, one can't possibly lose.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24And the patent is yours, Captain, for the trifling sum of 50 guineas.
0:06:24 > 0:06:28My dear fellow, you will have my personal cheque.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30In that case, I shall offer it to the Marquis of Angleby.
0:06:30 > 0:06:36Grundle - I tell you what, how about my solid gold watch?
0:06:41 > 0:06:42Done.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47'Not all the applications of science
0:06:47 > 0:06:49'brought such obvious rewards to mankind.
0:06:49 > 0:06:54'Applied to less peaceful ends, it resulted in the development
0:06:54 > 0:06:57'of new and ever more terrible weapons of war.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05'Professor Siegfried von Bulow - explosives expert to the Kaiser.'
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Your Imperial Majesty,
0:07:08 > 0:07:13I would like to demonstrate for you now...the cannon helmet!
0:07:24 > 0:07:26With the aid of this helmet,
0:07:26 > 0:07:31every infantryman is converted into a piece of mobile artillery.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11WHISTLING NOISE
0:08:19 > 0:08:21HE COUGHS
0:08:31 > 0:08:32'Thanks to science,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35'man's vision of the future was clear and optimistic.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38'And nowhere was optimism more apparent than America.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41'The New York office of the great Phineas T Barnum -
0:08:41 > 0:08:44'great showman, great optimist.'
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Congratulations, gentlemen - by joining me in me in this venture,
0:08:47 > 0:08:51you've ensured, for each and every one of us, a brilliant future.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53We are deeply indebted to you, Mr Barnum.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Oh, no, no, no - don't thank me.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58I want you to share with me in the benefits
0:08:58 > 0:09:00of this great new enterprise.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03And it will be truly great, my friends -
0:09:03 > 0:09:05not just an American show,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08not merely the greatest attraction in the civilised world,
0:09:08 > 0:09:10but a truly terrestrial attraction.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11The greatest show on Earth!
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Mr Barnum...
0:09:12 > 0:09:15CLICKETY-CLACKING
0:09:15 > 0:09:19What in the name of tarnation is that contraption?
0:09:19 > 0:09:20That, sir, is a teleprinter,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23connected directly with my manager's office in Philadelphia.
0:09:23 > 0:09:24By means of that machine,
0:09:24 > 0:09:26he will keep us informed of our progress.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Entire...show...
0:09:34 > 0:09:38..burned...to the ground. Stop.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Fear...you are...
0:09:42 > 0:09:45..completely...ruined. Stop.
0:09:47 > 0:09:53Advise you...leave the country immediately. Stop.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Hey! Stop!
0:09:58 > 0:10:01FOOTSTEPS AND YELLING
0:10:15 > 0:10:16Well, General...
0:10:18 > 0:10:21In about 15 minutes, we'll meet the Liverpool Packet.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26No sign of it yet, Barnum.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29Say, what do we do when we get to England?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- Make a fortune. - Oh. How?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Well, that minor detail we'll take care of when we get there.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53CHARLES CLEARS THROAT
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Ah, Charles - how nice to see you again.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58Yes, Barset.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Usual crowd of fools and charlatans, I see.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05- Good evening, Your Grace. - Evening, Your Grace.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Good evening.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14- You heard about my bridge, I suppose.- Oh, yes, yes.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17May I offer you my deepest sympathy. A terrible catastrophe.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20I was victimised, Barset. Victimised.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Dishonest contractors, inferior materials...
0:11:23 > 0:11:25I was betrayed by the company, Barset. Betrayed!
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Yes, yes. Terrible.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Oh...
0:11:33 > 0:11:38I'm delighted to meet you, sir. I'm Barset, president of the Society.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Barnum - Phineas T Barnum.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Barnum? Not the great Barnum?
0:11:44 > 0:11:45At your service, sir.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48LAUGHING: Oh, yes, yes! Of course, wonderful.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51And this must by Little Tom Thumb.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53GENERAL Tom Thumb.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57I do beg your pardon. Yes, of course.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59I had no idea you were in England.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03We just arrived today, slipped in without any fuss, you know?
0:12:03 > 0:12:07- Well, it's jolly nice to see you at our lecture.- Lecture?- Yes.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11We shall be starting any moment now. Do come this way.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Gentlemen, I think we really must be going in.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18And so, with this new explosive substance,
0:12:18 > 0:12:23which I call Bulovite - do you understand? BULOVITE.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26It is possible that an object could be fired
0:12:26 > 0:12:30which would escape completely from the gravitational pull of the Earth
0:12:30 > 0:12:34and travel through the upper reaches of the atmosphere.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36I continue.
0:12:37 > 0:12:38Uh...
0:12:38 > 0:12:39LOUD SNORING
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Huh?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46TOM SNORES
0:12:49 > 0:12:53This explosive will revolutionise cannonry as we know it today.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59A projectile fired beyond the Earth's atmosphere
0:12:59 > 0:13:03would have a range which is infinite.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05In fact...
0:13:06 > 0:13:10..such a projectile could reach the Moon.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:13:12 > 0:13:15How would you fire such a projectile, Professor?
0:13:15 > 0:13:16From a cannon.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:13:18 > 0:13:20You would have to construct an enormous cannon.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24LAUGHTER GROWS LOUDER
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Please - please, gentlemen.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Professor von Bulow is our guest.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32Professor, in your opinion,
0:13:32 > 0:13:35could such a projectile carry a human being?
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Could a man travel in it?
0:13:36 > 0:13:40Yes - if he was a small man.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Naturally, sir.
0:13:43 > 0:13:44And of course,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47providing the human body could survive such a trip.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Well, sir, speaking as a physician,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52I can assure you that the human system
0:13:52 > 0:13:55is quite incapable of surviving at such a velocity.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56DILLWORTHY: Nonsense!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Are you questioning my medical judgment, sir?
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Yes, indeed I am, sir -
0:14:01 > 0:14:04when we engineers first constructed a railway, it was you physicians
0:14:04 > 0:14:07who said no-one could travel at 20mph and survive.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10And judging by the railways you construct, sir, they were right!
0:14:10 > 0:14:13That's an attack on my reputation. That's a personal attack.
0:14:13 > 0:14:14Let me tell you, for what it's worth,
0:14:14 > 0:14:16people are a darn side safer on my railway
0:14:16 > 0:14:18than they are in your surgery.
0:14:18 > 0:14:19You can stuff that up your stethoscope!
0:14:19 > 0:14:22- ASSEMBLY JEER - Did you hear what that man said?!
0:14:22 > 0:14:24I've never been so insulted in all...
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Order! Gentlemen, please, order.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Please!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34HE WHISTLES
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Please, gentlemen, please.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Let us not get overheated, I beg of you.
0:14:38 > 0:14:39(Who is this fellow?)
0:14:39 > 0:14:41He's not a member, is he?
0:14:41 > 0:14:46Gentlemen, may I introduce to you Mr Phineas T Barnum.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50CHATTERING AND MURMURING
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Gentlemen, gentlemen,
0:14:53 > 0:14:56when I received an invitation to this meeting,
0:14:56 > 0:15:00I thought perhaps at first there had been some mistake.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03But now I discern the hand of Providence
0:15:03 > 0:15:06has sent me here this evening.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08The professor here has mentioned
0:15:08 > 0:15:12the possibility of a journey to the Moon,
0:15:12 > 0:15:14a voyage to another planet.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Think upon this, gentlemen...
0:15:20 > 0:15:23..perhaps one of us here in this very room
0:15:23 > 0:15:26may be the first man to set foot upon the Moon.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Now, who will join me on a committee
0:15:30 > 0:15:33to instigate this magnificent adventure?
0:15:33 > 0:15:36I'll join you, Mr Barnum. Yes, indeed I will.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37Yes, and so will I.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Naturally, I will join that committee.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43BOTH: We will!
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Thank you, gentlemen.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48This meeting will go down in history -
0:15:48 > 0:15:51a meeting at which it was first decided
0:15:51 > 0:15:53to send a living human being to the Moon!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Hurray! Hurray!
0:16:03 > 0:16:06Read all about it! Barnum sensation!
0:16:09 > 0:16:10Barnum sensation...
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Barnum proposes trip to the Moon!
0:16:18 > 0:16:21"Sir Charles Dillworthy and the Duke of Barset
0:16:21 > 0:16:25"also joined the committee, and there is great speculation
0:16:25 > 0:16:28"as to who will be the first person to be sent to the Moon."
0:16:31 > 0:16:33I wonder what Mr Gladstone is doing.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40Your Imperial Highness, von Bulow is going to the Moon.
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Good!
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Gaylord?
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Gaylord, you must not got to the Moon.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59Gaylord?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08But Gaylord, you mustn't go up to the Moon
0:17:08 > 0:17:10just because of me.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11I am not going up to the Moon,
0:17:11 > 0:17:14I am merely going over the Channel to England.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Oh. And what about me?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19You - that's all you ever think about, isn't it? You.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Well, what about science? Progress? What about me?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Five years I've been working on the plans,
0:17:25 > 0:17:26and now over in England,
0:17:26 > 0:17:28they're starting to make one without me.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30But they're not going to get away with it - no, sir.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32The first ship landing on the Moon
0:17:32 > 0:17:34is going to be designed by Gaylord Sullivan.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37Oh, Gaylord, I do love you.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Then why are you marrying him?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41But I love him too.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43You can't love both of us.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47It just...it just isn't decent.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50But I do! This way is best by far, Gaylord.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53You see? He is the richest, so I marry him,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55but I see you in the afternoons.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58It's better than marrying you and seeing him in the afternoons.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Why, Madelaine, I've never heard such a suggestion!
0:18:03 > 0:18:06You've got to make up your mind - it's either him or me.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Oh...
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Eh? Madelaine!
0:18:11 > 0:18:13HORSES' HOOVES APPROACH
0:18:14 > 0:18:17- It is him!- Yes, but who are they?
0:18:17 > 0:18:19Oh, they're the guard of honour from the wedding.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Make up your mind quickly. I'm not hanging around to argue
0:18:21 > 0:18:23Oh, I come with you.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Oh!
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Quick!
0:18:35 > 0:18:36GUN CLICKS
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Imbecile - you did not load it.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43But Monsieur, I did not know it was that kind of a wedding.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Gaylord!
0:18:52 > 0:18:54It is me she loves - bring her back!
0:18:54 > 0:18:58I'm sorry, Henri - I can't.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00I've got to go to England.
0:19:00 > 0:19:01Never! Marcel?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08Henri! Henri, don't shoot. I love you.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Is it true?
0:19:11 > 0:19:12You really love me?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15I will always love you, Henri. Always.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Oh...Madelaine...
0:19:32 > 0:19:36This is enquiring about rights to mineral deposits on the Moon.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39File that under "Prospective Investors."
0:19:42 > 0:19:44How do we find out if there's minerals up there?
0:19:45 > 0:19:48The man who goes up will have to bring back samples.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Barnum, I've opened over 2,000 letters
0:19:52 > 0:19:54and I ain't found one yet from a man who wants to go there.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58General, I'm sure there's such a man somewhere -
0:19:58 > 0:20:01a man of courage, devotion, loyalty.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Possibly...a military man.
0:20:04 > 0:20:08Well, like you always say, there's one born every minute.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Yes. Well, we don't have to worry about that yet a while.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16I'm off to Barset House. First meeting of the committee.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- Good day, General.- Good day.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44HE KNOCKS AT THE DOOR
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- Good morning, Mr Barnum. - Good morning, Your Grace.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02The others are here. Let's go into the Committee Room.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Anna, this is Mr Barnum.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Miss Anna Lindstrom, my daughter's companion.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09- How do you do?- Charmed.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11SOMETHING THUDS
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Sorry, Daddy.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22This is Mr Barnum, my dear.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24My daughter, Lady Electra.
0:21:26 > 0:21:27Hello, Mr Barnum.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29We're making a lift, Daddy.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Good.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34I shan't need the pickaxe now, Anna. I've managed without it.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38- Right.- Both of them are very keen on engineering, you know.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40- I encourage them. It keeps them out of mischief.- Yes...
0:21:42 > 0:21:43Hop on, Anna.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48I'll just check...
0:21:51 > 0:21:52Ready, Anna?
0:21:52 > 0:21:55MACHINE WHIRRS
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Now, gentlemen, as I see it,
0:22:00 > 0:22:03our immediate task is divided into three sections -
0:22:03 > 0:22:05first, the construction of the cannon.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Oh, in my head, it is already constructed.
0:22:08 > 0:22:09Splendid, Professor.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12And secondly, the construction of the projectile.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15- You can leave that to me, Mr Barnum.- Very good, very good.
0:22:15 > 0:22:18Third and lastly, raising money for the project.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20Ah, yes. That could well be the most difficult part of it.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22THEY CHAT AMONGST THEMSELVES
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Gentlemen, gentlemen,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28this committee will furnish me with an estimated cost of this project,
0:22:28 > 0:22:30I will raise the money.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35However, however, I will need an assistant to act as Treasurer.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- Yes, and I know just the chap. - Splendid. Who is he?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41My brother-in-law - Captain Sir Harry Washington-Smythe.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42No!
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Beg your pardon. Very silly of me.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56This Smythe, he is of course a completely reliable man?
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Absolutely first-rate. He's a gentleman.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- That thing work, Grundle? - Of course it will.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06I knows my trade, you know. I learned it out in the colonies.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08Yes, we know.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11You laid the first cable from Botany Bay to Van Diemen's Land.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- How does it work? - Quite simple, really, you know.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18This machine is connected to the main telegraph light.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23Now, every time a message comes through to the telegraph office,
0:23:23 > 0:23:26you reads it first.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30That way, you gets advance information on the stocks and shares.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33Well, I suppose if the Stock Exchange use the telegraph,
0:23:33 > 0:23:34we shall have to do the same thing,
0:23:34 > 0:23:39although it won't me half as much fun as intercepting carrier pigeons.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Here - one coming through now.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47"Captain Sir Harry Washington-Smythe,
0:23:47 > 0:23:51"14 Enterprise Buildings, London, WC1."
0:23:51 > 0:23:53That's me! What does it say?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55"Come to Barset House immediately
0:23:55 > 0:24:01"regarding position of Treasurer to Moonship Subscription Fund.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03"Signed, Barset."
0:24:03 > 0:24:05What's a moonship?
0:24:05 > 0:24:06I don't know what a moonship is,
0:24:06 > 0:24:08but I know what a subscription fund is - money.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Come on.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16ENGINE CHUGS
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- Who on earth is that? - Miss Anna, from the look of her.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44From the look of her what?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46From the look of her, I think I better go and help her.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01Why must we always meet like this, in secret?
0:25:04 > 0:25:07And as Mr Barnum will agree, I'm sure,
0:25:07 > 0:25:09we mustn't leave the money idle.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10As it comes in, I will invest it -
0:25:10 > 0:25:12on behalf of the committee, of course.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14I know some excellent companies.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Good. Good.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17Well, gentlemen,
0:25:17 > 0:25:21do we all agree that Captain Smythe shall act as Treasurer?
0:25:28 > 0:25:31QUEEN VICTORIA: 'It gives us the greatest pleasure
0:25:31 > 0:25:35'to open this new suspension bridge.'
0:25:35 > 0:25:38RUMBLING / CRASHING
0:25:43 > 0:25:45Thank you, Sir Charles.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Well, fine, fine.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49Now that's settled, Captain, will you sit here?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51I'll sit next to Sir Charles, if I may.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53I've always been a great admirer of his works.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56And now, gentlemen,
0:25:56 > 0:25:59I think Professor von Bulow should speak.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Huh? Ja...
0:26:07 > 0:26:08Gentlemen...
0:26:09 > 0:26:12By this experiment, we see some of the problems
0:26:12 > 0:26:14which could trump us.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Bulovite.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Open the window, please.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Watch closely.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17THEY COUGH
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Ay, ay, ay, ay...
0:27:33 > 0:27:37You see, gentlemen, the problem of recoil.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Yes - amazing, Professor, amazing.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41That's only part of our problem.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47To fire a projectile beyond the pull of the Earth's gravitation,
0:27:47 > 0:27:49it would be necessary to construct a cannon
0:27:49 > 0:27:54with a barrel measuring 573 feet.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56By using Bulovite, however,
0:27:56 > 0:28:00I can reduce this length to 310 feet.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04The real problem is that it is not possible
0:28:04 > 0:28:07to construct a cannon of this size.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08The only answer, therefore, is...
0:28:10 > 0:28:12No...ah...
0:28:13 > 0:28:15The only answer, therefore, is...
0:28:18 > 0:28:22..to drill a hole into the side of a mountain...
0:28:25 > 0:28:30..and use this for our cannon. Understand?
0:28:30 > 0:28:33Then our first task is to find a mountain.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36Well, as a matter of fact, let me help you there. We own one.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40- Uh...do we, Harry? - Of course we do, Willie. Caerflwyti.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43Oh, yes, of course - the estate in Wales.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Yes. I'd forgotten about that place.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49Oh, look - it's Uncle Harry's new gas carriage.
0:28:53 > 0:28:54Beautiful...
0:28:57 > 0:28:58Miss Anna?
0:29:00 > 0:29:01Yes?
0:29:01 > 0:29:02Pass me the spanner.
0:29:02 > 0:29:03Here.
0:29:20 > 0:29:21Dillworthy?
0:29:30 > 0:29:31Dillworthy, come back!
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Get away from me, Smythe!
0:29:33 > 0:29:35Dillworthy, I want a word with you.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37It's the voice of the tempter - get away from me!
0:29:37 > 0:29:39But Dillers, old chap...
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Thou shalt not tempt me, Smythe!
0:29:45 > 0:29:47The voice of the tempter has been heard in the land.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50The way you're shouting, at sea as well.
0:29:50 > 0:29:54No, Smythe, I won't do it - whatever it is, I will not do it.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56But I merely wish to offer you a lift back to town
0:29:56 > 0:29:58on my new gas carriage.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01On your new gas carriage?
0:30:01 > 0:30:02Oh...
0:30:02 > 0:30:05No, there will be more to it than that. I know you.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07Well, I did think we might have a chat on the way back
0:30:07 > 0:30:08about this moonship thing, eh?
0:30:08 > 0:30:10No, Smythe, no.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13I mean, look what happened on the Trent Bridge.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15It collapsed - in front of Her Majesty!
0:30:15 > 0:30:17The humiliation of it...and it was all your fault.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19You supplied the materials.
0:30:19 > 0:30:21Well, you took the profit and now you're complaining.
0:30:21 > 0:30:22Not very sporting.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25I know, but it was me who had to face the enquiry.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31You know, Dillers, there could be £5,000 in this for you.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34Stop tormenting me, Smythe. Get thee behind me, Satan.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36It could be even seven.
0:30:36 > 0:30:40Oh, the flesh is weak...but every man has his price.
0:30:40 > 0:30:41All right - what is your price?
0:30:41 > 0:30:43Ten.
0:30:43 > 0:30:47Right. £10,000 today, my company gets the contract for the moonship.
0:30:47 > 0:30:48THUDDING
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Oh, blast!
0:30:53 > 0:30:55What's the matter with the darn thing?
0:30:55 > 0:30:57Run out of gas.
0:30:57 > 0:30:58Give us a push, will you?
0:31:01 > 0:31:02Come on...
0:31:06 > 0:31:07There we are.
0:31:11 > 0:31:12That's it.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20Right, that'll do.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Now, Dillers, chin up and fix this on, will you?
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Steady, steady...
0:31:35 > 0:31:36Mind the paintwork.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47Right, turn it on.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59You know, the whole principle of this vehicle is dishonest.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01It relies on stolen gas.
0:32:01 > 0:32:03That isn't the point.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06It's very economical to run.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13The committee has acquired this mountain
0:32:13 > 0:32:15from His Grace, the Duke of Barset.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17The greatest geologist in England
0:32:17 > 0:32:20has pronounced it suitable for our purpose,
0:32:20 > 0:32:24and so, gentlemen, it is from this spot
0:32:24 > 0:32:30Man will journey forth to his conquest of the Moon!
0:32:30 > 0:32:33I think we should be going down now. They're ready to start blasting.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57- Madelaine, darling?- Mm? - I don't know where we are.
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Why don't we go down and ask somebody?
0:32:59 > 0:33:02Because then we wouldn't have enough gas to get up again.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07I should have stayed with Henri. He would've looked after me.
0:33:08 > 0:33:12He's just a big, rich, stupid fool - he knows nothing.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14At least he knows where he is.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18But he doesn't know where you are.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25- Oh, Madelaine - I wish we were on the ground.- Oh!
0:33:30 > 0:33:33GAS HISSES
0:33:33 > 0:33:36- What are you doing?! - Going to the ground, my darling.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39You've let too much out.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45Grundle has placed the charges of Bulovite all round the top
0:33:45 > 0:33:49and now we shall discharge them with electricity.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52You see, the idea, gentlemen,
0:33:52 > 0:33:54is to remove the top of the mountain,
0:33:54 > 0:33:58leaving a flat surface into which we will dig our shaft.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02- Is this the electric detonator, Professor?- Oh, no, no, no.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05That's my electromagnetic speaking trumpet.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11HIS SPEECH IS DISTORTED
0:34:16 > 0:34:17Hello - he's off again.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25SPEECH IS DISTORTED
0:34:29 > 0:34:31What's he saying?
0:34:31 > 0:34:34I don't know. He can't be using it properly.
0:34:49 > 0:34:50Oh...!
0:34:53 > 0:34:54Oh...
0:35:07 > 0:35:09Oh!
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Gaylord!
0:35:15 > 0:35:16Gaylord, take care!
0:35:22 > 0:35:25Gaylord, help! Help!
0:35:25 > 0:35:26Gaylord?
0:35:28 > 0:35:29Gaylord!
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Guv'nor, all charges laid.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Grand, grand - you heard my instructions all right?
0:35:37 > 0:35:40Oh, yes, yes - every word.
0:35:41 > 0:35:46And now, gentlemen, I shall remove the top of the mountain.
0:36:06 > 0:36:08Hey there! Help!
0:36:08 > 0:36:09Help!
0:36:15 > 0:36:17- Hey there!- Stop!
0:36:17 > 0:36:19Thank Heavens it didn't work.
0:36:19 > 0:36:20But it should have worked!
0:36:20 > 0:36:22HE GRUMBLES ANGRILY
0:36:22 > 0:36:24BOOM!
0:36:47 > 0:36:49EXPLOSION DIES AWAY
0:37:14 > 0:37:17- Are you all right? - Thank you. Thank you, Barnum.
0:37:18 > 0:37:20Oh...
0:37:20 > 0:37:21What...?
0:37:39 > 0:37:44MUSIC: "Wedding March" by Richard Wagner
0:38:32 > 0:38:35Yes? Oh...
0:38:35 > 0:38:38- Please, can you help me? - Is the bridegroom with you?
0:38:38 > 0:38:40No, I'm all alone in a foreign country.
0:38:40 > 0:38:45- Foreign, but not unfriendly. Do come in.- Oh, thank you.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Why, it's absolutely incredible!
0:38:52 > 0:38:54You must have been working on these plans for years.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57It's all I've ever dreamed about.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59But how on earth did you get here, boy?
0:38:59 > 0:39:01We came by balloon.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03The balloon - Madelaine.
0:39:03 > 0:39:04I forgot.
0:39:18 > 0:39:19MADELAINE: Yes?
0:39:19 > 0:39:22You'll find some clothes in there. They belong to Lady Electra.
0:39:22 > 0:39:25- < My niece, you know. - Oh, thank you.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30What can we do to find Gaylord? >
0:39:30 > 0:39:32Hm? What? Oh...
0:39:33 > 0:39:37Don't worry - I'll get my man to organise a search party.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40Oh, thank you. You're being very kind.
0:39:45 > 0:39:49Perkins? Perkins, I want you to come in here.
0:39:50 > 0:39:53- IN A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT: - "Coming, sir."
0:40:00 > 0:40:02Ah, there you are, Perkins.
0:40:02 > 0:40:05"Yes, sir. Here I be, sir."
0:40:05 > 0:40:08Perkins, there's a young French lady in the next room
0:40:08 > 0:40:10whose fiance is lost in the hills.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12I want you to organise a search party
0:40:12 > 0:40:14and go and look for him.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17"Yes, sir. It be getting dark, sir.
0:40:17 > 0:40:20"Maybe the young lady, if she wants to come along, will have to hurry."
0:40:22 > 0:40:24Careful, Perkins.
0:40:24 > 0:40:27No, that won't be necessary, she'll stay here with me.
0:40:27 > 0:40:30She'll be perfectly safe here with me.
0:40:30 > 0:40:31"That she will, sir -
0:40:31 > 0:40:34"you being the finest and most honourable gentleman
0:40:34 > 0:40:36"that ever did draw breath."
0:40:36 > 0:40:37Well, thank you, Perkins.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Well, off you go, take my horse - no time to lose.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43"Aye aye, sir."
0:41:07 > 0:41:08Sent my man off.
0:41:09 > 0:41:10Care for a spot of supper?
0:41:10 > 0:41:13Oh, thank you. I'm just coming.
0:41:20 > 0:41:22Oh, dear. The door is jammed.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24DOOR RATTLES
0:41:24 > 0:41:25Oh. Really?
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Well, don't worry, I'll come and help you through the window.
0:42:01 > 0:42:02Champagne?
0:42:12 > 0:42:13There's no sign of her.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16The Duke's hunting lodge - perhaps she's in there.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21MADELAINE SCREAMS
0:42:21 > 0:42:24GLASS SMASHES
0:42:35 > 0:42:36Madelaine!
0:43:02 > 0:43:03Gentlemen of the committee,
0:43:03 > 0:43:06it gives me much pleasure to show you, for the first time,
0:43:06 > 0:43:10a scale model...of my moonship.
0:43:18 > 0:43:20Barset, will you kindly assist me, please?
0:43:34 > 0:43:35Well?
0:43:36 > 0:43:40Well...it certainly is a handsome thing.
0:43:40 > 0:43:42You see, I don't know very much about engineering...
0:43:42 > 0:43:44Oh, indeed you don't, Mr Barnum.
0:43:44 > 0:43:47Yes, well, Sir Charles, as you know, I'm only an amateur engineer.
0:43:47 > 0:43:50Yes, I do know, Barset - extremely amateur.
0:43:50 > 0:43:51Yes, but it occurs to me
0:43:51 > 0:43:53that if this is to be fired from a cannon...
0:43:53 > 0:43:54Yes, Barset?
0:43:54 > 0:43:56..well, it seems to me
0:43:56 > 0:43:59these projections might prevent the air-tight fit in the cannon.
0:44:04 > 0:44:06Are there any more questions?
0:44:08 > 0:44:10Yes, I have a question I'd like to ask.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12Look, Mr Barnum, I can assure you
0:44:12 > 0:44:16that this projectile will take a man to the Moon in perfect safety.
0:44:16 > 0:44:20Exactly, sir, but how does it bring him back?
0:44:21 > 0:44:25I was told to design a projectile to convey a man to the Moon.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28Nothing was said about bringing him back.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30But he might not like it up there.
0:44:30 > 0:44:31Then he'll just have to lump it, won't he?
0:44:31 > 0:44:33I mean, the obvious answer
0:44:33 > 0:44:35is to find someone who doesn't want to come back.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37Well, I can assure you, sir,
0:44:37 > 0:44:40that General Tom Thumb will insist on coming back.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Well, then we'll just have to find someone else.
0:44:43 > 0:44:44Some fellow out of the workhouse -
0:44:44 > 0:44:47some baccy and a couple of shillings, he'd jump at the chance.
0:44:47 > 0:44:50Oh, no, no, no - you can't send a man up there to his doom.
0:44:51 > 0:44:54Barnum, the public would never permit it.
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Even if he is a pauper.
0:44:56 > 0:45:00I take it, Sir Charles, you haven't examined this young man's design.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02No, I have not,
0:45:02 > 0:45:04and I have no intention of doing so, either.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07I'll tell you this, it's either mine or nothing.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10You can get in touch with me when you've made up your minds.
0:45:13 > 0:45:14Oh, dear...
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Gentlemen, gentlemen.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18Let us not be too despondent.
0:45:18 > 0:45:22Gaylord, would you be good enough to show the gentlemen your proposal?
0:45:22 > 0:45:24Why, yes.
0:45:24 > 0:45:26You see, it was my idea to place rockets in the nose,
0:45:26 > 0:45:29so that when it landed on the Moon in this position,
0:45:29 > 0:45:32reverse rockets would propel it back to Earth.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35- LAUGHING:- Rockets! Yes, of course, that's the logical answer.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37You idiots!
0:45:37 > 0:45:41This croaker never designed a moonship - he's a charlatan!
0:45:41 > 0:45:42Even so, Sir Charles,
0:45:42 > 0:45:45we are prepared to commission a design from him,
0:45:45 > 0:45:49and I'm afraid that your services will be no longer required.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51Oh...they won't, won't they?
0:45:51 > 0:45:54Well, you'll see - you'll be begging for me to come back, begging.
0:45:54 > 0:45:56You'll see, all of you!
0:45:58 > 0:46:00And he's not pinching my design, either.
0:46:19 > 0:46:21Hello, Dillers, old man. Anything wrong?
0:46:23 > 0:46:24Why weren't you there, Smythe?
0:46:24 > 0:46:26Why weren't you at the committee meeting?
0:46:26 > 0:46:29I had to fight them all on my own. No support from anyone.
0:46:29 > 0:46:33- Did anything go wrong?- Everything!
0:46:33 > 0:46:36They pushed me off and commissioned that dumb Yank.
0:46:36 > 0:46:40Well...I need to talk to Willie about this -
0:46:40 > 0:46:43get that Yank, as you say, "pushed off"
0:46:43 > 0:46:44and you put back on again.
0:46:44 > 0:46:46I mean, it's the only patriotic thing to do.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Besides, it's absolutely vital
0:46:48 > 0:46:50we get the contract for that moonship - vital.
0:46:50 > 0:46:53We have followed with great interest
0:46:53 > 0:46:56the progress of your moonship, Mr Barnum.
0:46:56 > 0:47:00We understand that the subscription fund has now reached over £1 million.
0:47:02 > 0:47:04Have decided who will journey in it?
0:47:06 > 0:47:09Well, Ma'am, we're not releasing the news until later.
0:47:11 > 0:47:12But we wish to know now.
0:47:16 > 0:47:20- It will be General Tom Thumb, Ma'am. - Splendid.
0:47:20 > 0:47:22We will send him a message
0:47:22 > 0:47:25wishing him Godspeed and a safe voyage.
0:47:25 > 0:47:26He'll appreciate that, Ma'am.
0:47:26 > 0:47:31We have also requested our War Office to give Professor von Bulow
0:47:31 > 0:47:34every assistance with his experiments.
0:48:05 > 0:48:07Right. Come on, gentlemen. On your feet.
0:48:07 > 0:48:09On your feet, all of you.
0:48:11 > 0:48:12Come on, Mr Hawkins,
0:48:12 > 0:48:14you can have a nice lie down when you get to the mess.
0:48:14 > 0:48:15On your feet!
0:48:20 > 0:48:23Class, attention!
0:48:23 > 0:48:25Class, on the right, dress.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33Class, eyes front.
0:48:35 > 0:48:38Class, number - one, two, three, four, five.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42Hello - one gentlemen absent.
0:48:43 > 0:48:46Carruthers - anybody seen Mr Carruthers?
0:48:54 > 0:48:57Come on, Mr Carruthers, sir - at the double.
0:48:57 > 0:48:58We're waiting for you.
0:49:02 > 0:49:04I was blown up, Sergeant.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07Yes. But you've come down again, haven't you?
0:49:07 > 0:49:09- Yes, Sergeant.- Then get fell in.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21Remember, sir, you're an officer and a gentleman.
0:49:21 > 0:49:24When a common gunner gets blown up, he might hang about up there.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26But an officer hurries down to get properly fell in.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36Ready to continue, sir.
0:49:40 > 0:49:43Now we'll try it in the gun and see what happens.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46Only this time, we shall double the charge.
0:49:46 > 0:49:48A double charge, sir. Yes, sir. I understand, sir.
0:49:52 > 0:49:53Double charge, sir?
0:49:53 > 0:49:55That's what I said, yes.
0:49:55 > 0:49:59These experiments are of vital importance to the moonship.
0:50:01 > 0:50:02Double charge...
0:50:04 > 0:50:07- Your pass, sir? - I'm looking for Professor von Bulow.
0:50:07 > 0:50:08Oh, him, sir.
0:50:08 > 0:50:11Yes, he's over on the north range with a class of officer cadets,
0:50:11 > 0:50:12just the other side of that red flag.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14Ah, thank you.
0:50:21 > 0:50:22Ram home.
0:50:28 > 0:50:29Hup!
0:50:30 > 0:50:32And now for the Bulovite!
0:50:34 > 0:50:35Mr Flood, Mr Hawkins.
0:51:04 > 0:51:05SERGEANT YELLS
0:51:07 > 0:51:08Sir.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45Right - one gentleman to volunteer to ram it home.
0:51:50 > 0:51:51Mr Carruthers?
0:51:52 > 0:51:54But I did it last time, Sergeant.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57Yes. Well, you've got the experience, so to speak, haven't you?
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Come on, now.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28SQUEAKING
0:52:35 > 0:52:36SQUEAKING CONTINUES
0:53:00 > 0:53:01What next, sir?
0:53:01 > 0:53:05I don't know - we've never got this far before.
0:53:07 > 0:53:11- I'll re-examine my notes. - Might I suggest the projectile, sir?
0:53:11 > 0:53:14The projectile - of course. Yes, that's right, that's right.
0:53:14 > 0:53:16- Yes...- Load ball.
0:53:37 > 0:53:38Gun loaded, sir.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42Good. Good, good.
0:53:42 > 0:53:44Now, all we need is a slow fuse.
0:53:44 > 0:53:47BARNUM HUMS "POP GOES THE WEASEL"
0:54:11 > 0:54:13- All present?- Yes, Sergeant.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16- Shall I touch her off, sir?- Huh?
0:54:18 > 0:54:19Oh, yes, yes, yes.
0:54:22 > 0:54:23FUSE CRACKLES
0:54:23 > 0:54:26I'd hate to be close to that lot when it goes off.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51Professor? Professor von Bulow?
0:54:52 > 0:54:54Hey!
0:54:54 > 0:54:57- Did you hear something, sir?- Not yet.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59But in 20 seconds,
0:54:59 > 0:55:02you will hear the most beautiful sound in the world.
0:55:05 > 0:55:08Professor von Bulow, you there?
0:55:10 > 0:55:11Ja?
0:55:15 > 0:55:17Curses! The blasted thing is on fire.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23- What do you want me to do with this? - Put it out, sir! Put it out!
0:55:38 > 0:55:40Excellent fuse you are using.
0:55:40 > 0:55:42One can't put it out.
0:56:28 > 0:56:31Hey! This damn thing is dangerous.
0:56:31 > 0:56:35What do you want, Barnum? You're holding up my experiment.
0:56:35 > 0:56:40Professor, the committee is becoming a little bit agitated now.
0:56:40 > 0:56:42You must give us precise details
0:56:42 > 0:56:44for the digging of that cannon shaft.
0:56:44 > 0:56:45Yes, I know, I know.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47Fit another fuse, please.
0:56:47 > 0:56:50Right. At the double.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57We have driven in the subsidiary shaft,
0:56:57 > 0:57:00and we can't start working on the cannon shaft
0:57:00 > 0:57:04until you give us the precise, uh...diameter.
0:57:04 > 0:57:07Yes, I know, but that depends on my experiments.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11However, I shall be finished here in one week. Come on, watch this...
0:57:11 > 0:57:15No, no, Professor. I must report to the committee.
0:57:24 > 0:57:26Come on, hurry up! It's empty.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39BARNUM LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:58:06 > 0:58:07Magnificent!
0:58:11 > 0:58:13Oh, there you are, Barnum.
0:58:13 > 0:58:17Here - read that telegram, Barnum.
0:58:17 > 0:58:18Go on, read it.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23Why, it's from Her Majesty, Queen Victoria.
0:58:25 > 0:58:28She wishes you every good fortune on your trip to the Moon.
0:58:28 > 0:58:31But General, this is wonderful!
0:58:31 > 0:58:34Her Majesty has chosen you to travel in the moonship.
0:58:34 > 0:58:37And of course, Barnum, you wouldn't know anything about it.
0:58:37 > 0:58:39Well, General, I'll have to admit
0:58:39 > 0:58:42that I had a slight inkling that they might choose you.
0:58:42 > 0:58:46But this is obviously what they call a high-level decision.
0:58:46 > 0:58:49Well, I'm making a low-level decision. I ain't going!
0:58:53 > 0:58:55You see, Willie, I think it's a bad thing
0:58:55 > 0:58:59you should reject Dillworthy's design in favour of this American -
0:58:59 > 0:59:00if he is an American.
0:59:02 > 0:59:04I mean, for all we know, he may be a spy or something.
0:59:06 > 0:59:07It's your shot, Harry.
0:59:18 > 0:59:20I see, Harry, you've potted my ball again.
0:59:20 > 0:59:23That's four times in four strokes.
0:59:23 > 0:59:26Everybody has their special shot. Perhaps this is mine.
0:59:26 > 0:59:29Not against the rules, you know.
0:59:29 > 0:59:33Besides, you would insist upon having a five-guinea wager on the game.
0:59:33 > 0:59:35I didn't - you did.
0:59:36 > 0:59:38- Did I, really?- Yes.
0:59:38 > 0:59:40Jolly sporting - you're very good, you know.
0:59:41 > 0:59:43Yes - well, next time you do pot my ball,
0:59:43 > 0:59:45maybe I should be most annoyed.
0:59:52 > 0:59:53Your shot.
0:59:58 > 1:00:00Willie, about Dillworthy...
1:00:00 > 1:00:02Not now, Harry.
1:00:02 > 1:00:04I'm playing a shot. Good gracious...
1:00:17 > 1:00:20There's something very peculiar about this table, Harry.
1:00:20 > 1:00:21What on earth...?
1:00:45 > 1:00:47- Harry!- Hm?
1:00:47 > 1:00:51- This table's magnetic! - Well...how extraordinary.
1:00:51 > 1:00:53I mean, what on earth could have caused it?
1:01:00 > 1:01:02A deliberate device to cheat.
1:01:02 > 1:01:06Harry, you have perverted the discoveries of science
1:01:06 > 1:01:07to your foul and filthy ends.
1:01:07 > 1:01:09If you had a spark of decency,
1:01:09 > 1:01:12you would go straight down to the gun room!
1:01:12 > 1:01:13The gun room, Willie?
1:01:15 > 1:01:17You would lock the door.
1:01:17 > 1:01:19There would be the sound of a shot.
1:01:19 > 1:01:21A housemaid would scream,
1:01:21 > 1:01:26and you...you, Harry, will have paid for your despicable action
1:01:26 > 1:01:29in the only way left open for a gentleman.
1:01:29 > 1:01:33I see. I like the bit about the housemaid screaming.
1:01:33 > 1:01:36You're a cad, sir! A cad and a bounder.
1:01:36 > 1:01:39And you are no longer welcome in my house.
1:01:45 > 1:01:49Furthermore, I shall recommend that your moonship accounts
1:01:49 > 1:01:52be audited immediately.
1:01:52 > 1:01:54You're perfectly welcome, Willie.
1:01:55 > 1:01:58You won't find anything there.
1:02:23 > 1:02:25Die, dirty rotten spy!
1:02:35 > 1:02:40- Who was he calling a dirty spy? - I think it was me.
1:02:40 > 1:02:42Oh. Good.
1:03:10 > 1:03:12Madelaine, darling.
1:03:12 > 1:03:15They've approved the plans and we start work building it tomorrow.
1:03:15 > 1:03:19Oh, good! And when you finish, we go back to Paris.
1:03:19 > 1:03:22But you promised to stay here with me until I finish.
1:03:22 > 1:03:27- But of course, my darling. I love you.- And I love you.
1:03:27 > 1:03:31But I also love Henri. Poor Henri. He misses me so.
1:03:31 > 1:03:34He says he's not going to eat anything
1:03:34 > 1:03:35till I come back come back to Paris.
1:03:35 > 1:03:38Ha...he'll be as skinny as a beanpole by then.
1:03:38 > 1:03:41How long to do you stay here, Gaylord?
1:03:41 > 1:03:44Oh...I'd say about 18 months.
1:03:44 > 1:03:4618 months?! Oh, you beast!
1:03:46 > 1:03:49HE LAUGHS
1:03:49 > 1:03:52SEAGULLS CAW
1:04:18 > 1:04:20Charge fired, sir.
1:04:22 > 1:04:23Thank you, Sergeant.
1:04:23 > 1:04:25That will be all.
1:04:25 > 1:04:28My experiments are complete.
1:04:28 > 1:04:32Now we know the correct amount of Bulovite to use.
1:04:32 > 1:04:34Thank heavens for that, sir.
1:04:36 > 1:04:37Stretcher bearers?
1:04:51 > 1:04:53File...!
1:04:57 > 1:05:01Even if General Tom Thumb doesn't go, it won't affect the design.
1:05:01 > 1:05:04I've allowed for plenty of room inside.
1:05:04 > 1:05:07How about the deliveries of steel plates?
1:05:07 > 1:05:08- Just a moment... - Barnum!
1:05:08 > 1:05:10I've just received the auditor's report.
1:05:10 > 1:05:13Captain Smythe has embezzled over £100,000.
1:05:13 > 1:05:17What?! How in the world can a thing like that happen?
1:05:19 > 1:05:22It's very complicated. Grundle did explain it to me.
1:05:22 > 1:05:27They tell me it's quite legal - they can't touch him.
1:05:27 > 1:05:29CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
1:05:29 > 1:05:31Over here...
1:05:33 > 1:05:36Yes, and we'll make more - we've just started.
1:05:36 > 1:05:38There we are.
1:05:43 > 1:05:47So this is how you invested the moonship fund, did you?
1:05:49 > 1:05:51Get your hands off me! How dare you!
1:05:51 > 1:05:52You'll regret this, Willie.
1:05:52 > 1:05:54I promise you that you'll regret this.
1:05:56 > 1:05:57Get off!
1:05:59 > 1:06:02Hey! You're a traitor - a rotten, stinking traitor!
1:06:04 > 1:06:06May I ask what you mean by that remark?
1:06:06 > 1:06:08You know damn well what I mean.
1:06:08 > 1:06:11Barnum had bribed you to put the American flag on the Moon.
1:06:11 > 1:06:14- You're a traitor.- You liar!
1:06:14 > 1:06:17Strike me again and every patriotic Englishman here
1:06:17 > 1:06:19will string you up to the nearest lamppost.
1:06:19 > 1:06:20He's right enough there.
1:06:20 > 1:06:21We'd string him up as soon as look at him.
1:06:24 > 1:06:27Furthermore, Willie, I'll wager you any money you like
1:06:27 > 1:06:29you'll never even get that moonship off the ground.
1:06:29 > 1:06:31I will not demean myself by wagering with you.
1:06:31 > 1:06:34But I will. What odds are you giving?
1:06:34 > 1:06:3550-1, Willie. 50-1.
1:06:35 > 1:06:39- Done! 200 guineas on it. - I'll have 500!
1:06:39 > 1:06:41- You can't back out of it now. - I have no intention of backing out.
1:06:41 > 1:06:43Let's do this thing properly.
1:06:47 > 1:06:48Gaylord will be surprised.
1:06:54 > 1:06:57Gaylord - Gaylord, look who is here.
1:06:58 > 1:07:02Gaylord, my old friend. How splendid to see you again.
1:07:02 > 1:07:05And, uh...how is your great moonship going?
1:07:05 > 1:07:08Henri, what are you doing here?
1:07:08 > 1:07:10I've come to take Madelaine back to Paris with me.
1:07:10 > 1:07:13We are to be married.
1:07:13 > 1:07:16Yes, but she's promised to stay until I finish the moonship.
1:07:16 > 1:07:19Oh, it is true. I promised.
1:07:21 > 1:07:24Monsieur Barnum, how long will it be?
1:07:24 > 1:07:27Well, we're held up a little bit for money right now.
1:07:27 > 1:07:29We need another £100,000.
1:07:29 > 1:07:33Oh, that is no problem. Henri is the richest man in France.
1:07:33 > 1:07:34He owns three banks.
1:07:34 > 1:07:36Four.
1:07:36 > 1:07:38He will lend you the money.
1:07:38 > 1:07:42Well, I'm afraid it's not quite that simple, my dear.
1:07:42 > 1:07:45However, it is a marvellous opportunity
1:07:45 > 1:07:46for a private investor.
1:07:46 > 1:07:47Say no more.
1:07:48 > 1:07:50I will let you have it.
1:07:50 > 1:07:52Well, by George, this is splendid.
1:07:55 > 1:07:57We'll get together in the morning and draw up the conditions.
1:07:57 > 1:08:00- There is only one condition. - And what is that, sir?
1:08:03 > 1:08:05He must go up in it.
1:08:05 > 1:08:06Oh, Gaylord...
1:08:16 > 1:08:18Good evening, Smythe.
1:08:25 > 1:08:32- I hear you're taking bets, Smythe. - Yes. £3,400 at 50-1.
1:08:32 > 1:08:34Over £150,000?
1:08:34 > 1:08:37I say - is that altogether wise?
1:08:37 > 1:08:38No.
1:08:40 > 1:08:43Therefore, Dillers, I need your expert assistance.
1:08:43 > 1:08:45- Oh?- I want you to ensure
1:08:45 > 1:08:47that that moonship never leaves the Earth.
1:08:47 > 1:08:49Never...leaves the Earth?
1:08:51 > 1:08:53HE CHUCKLES
1:08:53 > 1:08:57I say - what a splendid idea!
1:08:58 > 1:09:02- When can you do it?- Oh...I mean...
1:09:02 > 1:09:04There's no point in doing it yet. Someone mind find out.
1:09:04 > 1:09:08No - the time to do it is when the ship is constructed
1:09:08 > 1:09:11and on view to the public.
1:09:11 > 1:09:14HE LAUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY
1:09:14 > 1:09:17- Never leaves the Earth... - Champagne?- You devil!
1:09:17 > 1:09:21BRASS BAND PLAYS JAUNTY TUNE
1:09:39 > 1:09:44And how long will you have the moonship on display in London?
1:09:44 > 1:09:46That depends on the firing lead of the rocket,
1:09:46 > 1:09:48which is being determined by the Astronomer Royal...
1:09:48 > 1:09:50Oh, yes...
1:09:50 > 1:09:53..and the number of people who are willing to pay to come and see it.
1:09:53 > 1:09:56How many do you estimate?
1:09:56 > 1:10:01Oh, I would say around two million, at five shillings a head.
1:10:01 > 1:10:02Half a million pounds, then.
1:10:04 > 1:10:05- Not bad.- Yes.
1:10:07 > 1:10:08Come and I'll show you around.
1:10:08 > 1:10:11- Morning, Mr Barnum. - Good morning.- Mademoiselle...
1:10:13 > 1:10:14Shall we?
1:10:40 > 1:10:41There it is, Dillers.
1:10:43 > 1:10:47Can't do anything about it yet, Smythe. Too many people about.
1:10:47 > 1:10:50We'll have to wait until it's dark.
1:10:53 > 1:10:55Yes, of course.
1:10:55 > 1:10:59I suppose we'll have to stroll about and enjoy the beauties of nature.
1:11:03 > 1:11:05And what are these handles for?
1:11:05 > 1:11:07- Well, that is the bed.- The bed?
1:11:07 > 1:11:08Mm-hm.
1:11:11 > 1:11:12Oh...
1:11:13 > 1:11:15HENRI CHUCKLES
1:11:19 > 1:11:21And, uh...why do you have a carpet on the ceiling?
1:11:23 > 1:11:27Because on the way down, sir, that will be the floor.
1:11:27 > 1:11:30What is the purpose of this aspidistra?
1:11:30 > 1:11:33To see if the atmosphere can support plant life.
1:11:34 > 1:11:36- And the canary?- Bird life.
1:11:36 > 1:11:40This is of course, primarily, a scientific exploration,
1:11:40 > 1:11:44but mind you, gentlemen, there may be creatures on the moon -
1:11:44 > 1:11:48strange creatures beyond our wildest imagination,
1:11:48 > 1:11:52which the public will be most anxious to see on exhibition.
1:11:55 > 1:11:57Chloroform.
1:12:01 > 1:12:03And these switches control the rocket.
1:12:03 > 1:12:06I fire the rocket to bring me back to Earth.
1:12:06 > 1:12:10Oh, Gaylord - you are so brave.
1:12:10 > 1:12:13To think you're going to go up there all by yourself.
1:12:26 > 1:12:28Henri!
1:12:28 > 1:12:29What are you doing here?
1:12:32 > 1:12:35I've come to take Madelaine back for our wedding.
1:12:35 > 1:12:38Oh, no - I don't go to the Moon for months. And she promised...
1:12:38 > 1:12:40..that she would stay until the moonship was completed.
1:12:40 > 1:12:42And now, it is completed.
1:12:42 > 1:12:45Oh - it is true, Gaylord.
1:12:45 > 1:12:48Oh, Madelaine, darling. Have dinner with me tonight.
1:12:48 > 1:12:52It may be our last time together...on Earth.
1:12:52 > 1:12:54Of course I will, Gaylord.
1:12:56 > 1:12:59Oh, Bertram - I'm so glad the moonship is finished.
1:12:59 > 1:13:04Now you can stop working so hard and spend some time with me.
1:13:04 > 1:13:07- Miss Anna.- Yes, Bertram?
1:13:07 > 1:13:11- There's something I'd like to ask you.- Yes, Bertram?
1:13:12 > 1:13:14Would you come behind the bushes with me?
1:13:14 > 1:13:16Oh, Bertram!
1:13:16 > 1:13:18SHE GIGGLES
1:13:25 > 1:13:26Come on...
1:13:31 > 1:13:32Miss Anna.
1:13:32 > 1:13:36Miss Anna, I knows how you feels about me,
1:13:36 > 1:13:39and well...dare I...that is, may I...
1:13:39 > 1:13:42Oh, Miss Anna - marry me. Marry me and come and live with me.
1:13:42 > 1:13:44Let me take you away from all of this.
1:13:44 > 1:13:50Oh, Bertram, I'm so fond of you, but...we can never marry.
1:13:52 > 1:13:55Is it because of the differences in our social position?
1:13:55 > 1:13:57No, Bertram.
1:14:00 > 1:14:01I know...
1:14:03 > 1:14:07It's because of the colonies.
1:14:14 > 1:14:17ANNA CONTINUES TO SOB
1:14:21 > 1:14:22Mademoiselle...
1:14:25 > 1:14:28What is the matter? Is there anything I can do?
1:14:28 > 1:14:31Oh...love is so cruel!
1:14:35 > 1:14:37There, there...
1:14:37 > 1:14:42There, now, come. Come.
1:14:51 > 1:14:53Sir Perceval?
1:14:53 > 1:14:57Tell me, on what date can we fire the moonship?
1:14:57 > 1:14:59Well, the whole thing is governed, you see,
1:14:59 > 1:15:02by the position of the moon shaft.
1:15:02 > 1:15:05Yes...yes, let me see now...
1:15:05 > 1:15:07Oh, yes, yes. This is it.
1:15:07 > 1:15:12You must fire the projectile on October the 20th
1:15:12 > 1:15:16at 11 minutes to 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
1:15:19 > 1:15:23- But that's next Sunday. - So it is, yes.
1:15:23 > 1:15:27No, no. That's much too soon. What's the next date?
1:15:27 > 1:15:29The next date...yes...
1:15:29 > 1:15:33- January the 14th.- Next year?
1:15:33 > 1:15:36Oh, dear, no. Not next year.
1:15:36 > 1:15:40January the 14th, 1968.
1:15:43 > 1:15:46But Sir Perceval, there must be some mistake.
1:15:46 > 1:15:49Oh, no, no. There's no mistake. No mistake.
1:15:49 > 1:15:51It's the position of the moon...
1:15:52 > 1:15:53..of the moon shaft, you see.
1:15:53 > 1:15:58The Moon only comes over it once in every 100 years or so.
1:16:01 > 1:16:03But...next Sunday...
1:16:05 > 1:16:09Two million visitors at five shillings a head.
1:16:09 > 1:16:12Yes. Yes...
1:16:16 > 1:16:17All clear. Come on, Dillers.
1:16:23 > 1:16:25- Give me that science journal.- Huh? - Science journal.
1:16:30 > 1:16:32Taxidermy equipment?
1:16:35 > 1:16:38- Chloroform? What do they want chloroform for?- No idea.
1:16:38 > 1:16:41Now, according to this, the equipment is kept behind here,
1:16:41 > 1:16:44and this is the living quarters,
1:16:44 > 1:16:49and the control room must be...up here.
1:16:49 > 1:16:50Come on.
1:17:01 > 1:17:02Equipment...
1:17:04 > 1:17:06- Can't switch it on. - What are you looking for?
1:17:06 > 1:17:08The rocket firing equipment.
1:17:08 > 1:17:10DILLWORTHY MUTTERS
1:17:10 > 1:17:13- Is that it? - Yes. Well done, Smythe, well done.
1:17:17 > 1:17:19- What will that do?- I'll tell you.
1:17:19 > 1:17:20When the moonship's fired,
1:17:20 > 1:17:22the rockets will fire at the same time.
1:17:22 > 1:17:24Now, the two pressures will equalise each other
1:17:24 > 1:17:27and squash the whole thing flat, like a sixpenny piece.
1:17:27 > 1:17:29Unless, of course, it explodes.
1:17:29 > 1:17:31THEY LAUGH
1:17:31 > 1:17:33Now...
1:17:33 > 1:17:35SOMETHING RATTLES BELOW THEM
1:17:36 > 1:17:38- It's Madelaine.- Eh?
1:17:41 > 1:17:43How nice to see you again, my dear.
1:17:43 > 1:17:46I heard what you said. You're going to murder Gaylord.
1:17:46 > 1:17:48You murderers! Murderers!
1:17:48 > 1:17:50No, no - we were only joking, weren't we?
1:17:50 > 1:17:53No, you were not. You're going to blow it up.
1:17:53 > 1:17:54You want to kill him!
1:17:54 > 1:17:57No, no, no. You must have misunderstood.
1:17:57 > 1:18:01- Don't touch me!- My dear girl... - You murderer!
1:18:01 > 1:18:02My dear girl, I can assure you
1:18:02 > 1:18:05that I have no intention whatsoever of harming you.
1:18:06 > 1:18:07But I have...
1:18:16 > 1:18:17What is this place, Smythe?
1:18:17 > 1:18:19Run by an old friend of mine.
1:18:21 > 1:18:25Now, you understand, I will not allow this girl to be harmed in any way.
1:18:25 > 1:18:28- Oh, shut up.- Well, I mean it.
1:18:28 > 1:18:30GIRLS YELL AND RAUCOUS MUSIC PLAYS
1:18:35 > 1:18:37Sounds like a party.
1:18:38 > 1:18:40Wait for us down there.
1:18:44 > 1:18:46DOORBELL RINGS
1:18:46 > 1:18:48MUSIC STOPS AND GIRLS START SINGING
1:18:48 > 1:18:51# All things bright and beautiful... #
1:18:51 > 1:18:55I don't like the look of this place. I don't like the look of it at all.
1:18:57 > 1:19:00Oh, my...
1:19:00 > 1:19:04Oh, ho-ho! It's Captain Smythe.
1:19:04 > 1:19:06Hmm...
1:19:07 > 1:19:10All right, girls.
1:19:10 > 1:19:12We thought it might be one of the governors.
1:19:12 > 1:19:15- Uh...Sir Charles Dillworthy. - Evening.
1:19:15 > 1:19:19Pick her up, sir. Bring her into the warm.
1:19:22 > 1:19:25What poor creature of the night have you brought us, Captain?
1:19:25 > 1:19:29What poor lamb who has strayed so far from the flock?
1:19:29 > 1:19:31We found her in the gutter, unconscious.
1:19:31 > 1:19:35- We fear she might have been drinking. - Drinking? Dreadful.
1:19:35 > 1:19:37Put her down - gently.
1:19:37 > 1:19:39GIRLS WHISPER
1:19:44 > 1:19:47We feel that we may have saved her from a fate worse than...
1:19:47 > 1:19:50- Worse than death?- So I'm told.
1:19:50 > 1:19:53Oh, it is, Smythe. It is, undoubtedly.
1:19:53 > 1:19:56How the blazes would you know, Dillworthy?
1:19:57 > 1:20:00I trust that she'll be quite safe here?
1:20:00 > 1:20:02Oh, absolutely safe.
1:20:02 > 1:20:05We feel she may well attempt to escape back to...
1:20:05 > 1:20:07..the life from which you saved her.
1:20:07 > 1:20:09Exactly. I therefore look to you to...
1:20:09 > 1:20:13- ..forestall such a wicked and ungrateful act.- Precisely.
1:20:17 > 1:20:19Very well, gentlemen.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22If there's no alternative, I will agree.
1:20:22 > 1:20:25Good. Good!
1:20:25 > 1:20:28Tomorrow, we will transport the moonship to Wales,
1:20:28 > 1:20:31and on Sunday, we will send it on its way.
1:20:31 > 1:20:33CROWDS CHEER LOUDLY
1:21:21 > 1:21:24Good luck, Mr Barnum. Good luck to the moonship.
1:21:24 > 1:21:26Thank you very much.
1:21:30 > 1:21:33What's the matter, young man? Worried about going up?
1:21:33 > 1:21:35It's not just that.
1:21:35 > 1:21:38It's Madelaine - to think that she would go away with Henri now,
1:21:38 > 1:21:40without saying goodbye.
1:22:13 > 1:22:16MACHINES CLATTER
1:22:17 > 1:22:19Hey, come look! Look!
1:22:21 > 1:22:25Oh, the moonship is coming! The moonship is coming!
1:22:25 > 1:22:27HE LAUGHS HEARTILY
1:22:32 > 1:22:35HORN BLOWS
1:22:40 > 1:22:43Gather round. Three cheers - hip, hip...
1:22:43 > 1:22:44ALL: Hooray!
1:22:44 > 1:22:45Hip, hip...
1:22:45 > 1:22:46ALL: Hooray!
1:22:46 > 1:22:47Hip, hip...
1:22:47 > 1:22:49ALL: Hooray!
1:23:49 > 1:23:50Ya-hoo!
1:23:50 > 1:23:53CHEERING AND YELLING
1:23:57 > 1:24:00LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
1:24:06 > 1:24:07Thank you.
1:24:08 > 1:24:11Well, here's to Sunday and a successful launching.
1:24:11 > 1:24:13I hear there's a whisper
1:24:13 > 1:24:16Her Majesty may decorate you tomorrow, before you go.
1:24:16 > 1:24:18I'm deeply honoured.
1:24:19 > 1:24:22But why doesn't she give it to me on my return?
1:24:22 > 1:24:24Isn't that the usual thing?
1:24:24 > 1:24:25Um...
1:24:27 > 1:24:30Course, I'm not normally a drinking man, you understand -
1:24:30 > 1:24:31oh, thank you very much indeed -
1:24:31 > 1:24:33but it does help one to drown one's sorrows.
1:24:35 > 1:24:38I've never told anybody about this before, you realise that?
1:24:38 > 1:24:40You mean you were actually transported to the colonies
1:24:40 > 1:24:41as a convict?
1:24:41 > 1:24:44- Mm.- But how jolly exciting.
1:24:45 > 1:24:48- What did you do?- 15 years.
1:24:48 > 1:24:51No, I mean why were you sent there?
1:24:51 > 1:24:54I stole a sticky bun.
1:24:54 > 1:24:57You see, I was starving, so I nicked this here sticky bun.
1:24:57 > 1:24:59Oh, Grundle...
1:25:00 > 1:25:04- 15 years for a sticky bun. - Oh, Grundle, what beastly hard luck.
1:25:04 > 1:25:07Held my career back something shocking, it did.
1:25:08 > 1:25:13But even worse, it's been a barrier between me and the one what I loves.
1:25:13 > 1:25:14Oh, Grundle.
1:25:15 > 1:25:18- Have you told her of your feelings? - It's no good, m'lady.
1:25:20 > 1:25:26I aspires too highly. Our social differences is too great.
1:25:26 > 1:25:30Oh, Grundle. Dear Grundle...
1:25:30 > 1:25:33Of course, marriage is out of the question,
1:25:33 > 1:25:35but true love knows no social barriers.
1:25:37 > 1:25:41Providing, of course...one is discreet.
1:25:42 > 1:25:44SHE GIGGLES
1:25:53 > 1:25:59Here - it's Miss Anna. With that Henri fella.
1:25:59 > 1:26:02Mademoiselle Anna has consented to be my wife.
1:26:02 > 1:26:03Your wife?!
1:26:03 > 1:26:05Are you some kind of a bluebeard?
1:26:05 > 1:26:06What have you done with Madelaine?
1:26:06 > 1:26:08What have YOU done with her?
1:26:08 > 1:26:10I have not seen her for nearly a week.
1:26:12 > 1:26:15- LAUGHING:- Well, she cannot keep doing this to me.
1:26:15 > 1:26:17I am marrying Miss Anna.
1:26:17 > 1:26:19You can keep your Madelaine.
1:26:20 > 1:26:24- Then where is Madelaine? - How should I know?
1:26:43 > 1:26:45Look - one of the bars is loose.
1:26:48 > 1:26:50We can escape. You could be free.
1:26:50 > 1:26:53What? Free to work in a rotten pickle factory
1:26:53 > 1:26:54at half a crown a week?
1:26:54 > 1:26:56No, thank you.
1:26:56 > 1:27:00Look, duck, you'll settle down when you've been here for a bit.
1:27:00 > 1:27:03Now then, girls, time for our nightcap.
1:27:03 > 1:27:05Tea, coffee, cocoa or hot milk.
1:27:07 > 1:27:09Ain't you got no gin, Matron?
1:27:09 > 1:27:12Not for the junior girls, dear - only for the seniors.
1:27:14 > 1:27:15Oh, now, Madelaine -
1:27:15 > 1:27:18we're not still sulking for the outside world, are we?
1:27:18 > 1:27:21Why can't I make you understand?
1:27:21 > 1:27:24While I'm prisoner here, they are trying to murder Gaylord.
1:27:24 > 1:27:26He will be killed the moment they fire the moonship.
1:27:26 > 1:27:29But you're not a prisoner, dear.
1:27:29 > 1:27:31Then why have you got bars on the windows?
1:27:31 > 1:27:34Oh, ho-ho. They're not to keep us in.
1:27:34 > 1:27:36They're to keep the gentlemen out.
1:28:33 > 1:28:34Oh!
1:28:41 > 1:28:43If you make me come back, I'll tell.
1:28:49 > 1:28:50Goodnight, Jack.
1:28:56 > 1:28:58Now, try jumping up and down, old chap.
1:29:05 > 1:29:08Ha! Comfortable?
1:29:08 > 1:29:10Splendid, old chap. Take off that moon hat.
1:29:10 > 1:29:14By the way, when you get to the Moon, don't jump too vigorously.
1:29:14 > 1:29:16You could fly off the surface.
1:29:16 > 1:29:19Now, let's try out the launching bed.
1:29:19 > 1:29:20There we are.
1:29:25 > 1:29:29Yes - jolly good. Now, lower the weights.
1:29:46 > 1:29:47Can you move?
1:29:48 > 1:29:50Oh, no.
1:29:50 > 1:29:51Splendid. Splendid.
1:29:51 > 1:29:54Now, tell me, Your Grace, what's all this about?
1:29:54 > 1:29:57Just a little invention of mine
1:29:57 > 1:30:00to make him secure during the launching.
1:30:00 > 1:30:04How does he get out from under there with all these heavy weights around?
1:30:04 > 1:30:07It's quite simple - when the moonship leaves the Earth's gravity
1:30:07 > 1:30:09and the whole thing becomes weightless,
1:30:09 > 1:30:11it just floats up off him.
1:30:11 > 1:30:15It's quite simple. Can you reach the launching lever?
1:30:15 > 1:30:17Oh, yes.
1:30:19 > 1:30:22- How much further, Smythe? - Not far now.
1:30:22 > 1:30:23Caerflwyti is just ahead.
1:30:28 > 1:30:30I don't know why we had to come here in the first place.
1:30:30 > 1:30:34You only want to see the lad killed. You're a ghoul, Smythe - a ghoul.
1:30:34 > 1:30:35Not entirely.
1:30:35 > 1:30:38I merely want you to go inside the moonship and make quite certain
1:30:38 > 1:30:42they haven't discovered any of your clever little readjustments.
1:30:42 > 1:30:43Oh.
1:30:44 > 1:30:46Psst! Mr Barnum?
1:30:54 > 1:30:56I'm Colonel Scuttling of Scotland Yard.
1:30:59 > 1:31:01- (May I have a word with you?) - Why, certainly, sir.
1:31:01 > 1:31:02- What is it?- Shh!
1:31:02 > 1:31:03(Not here.)
1:31:13 > 1:31:15Mr Barnum, we have received information
1:31:15 > 1:31:18that there may be an agent of the tsar in the vicinity.
1:31:18 > 1:31:21Now, we believe that this agent may try to sabotage the moonship.
1:31:21 > 1:31:24Great thunder and buffalos. What can we do?
1:31:24 > 1:31:27I have mounted patrols scouring the countryside.
1:31:27 > 1:31:31- Have your fellows keep a strict guard on the ship.- Certainly, Colonel.
1:31:54 > 1:31:57- It's the police, Smythe!- What? - The police.- What about them?
1:31:57 > 1:31:59Well, you're exceeding the speed limit
1:31:59 > 1:32:01- for a mechanically propelled vehicle. - Oh, am I?
1:32:01 > 1:32:04- You're doing nine miles an hour. - Am I really?
1:32:04 > 1:32:07- Will you STOP?- Oh...
1:32:07 > 1:32:09They're closing in on us, Smythe.
1:32:17 > 1:32:21Right, Smythe - four miles an hour, if you please.
1:32:31 > 1:32:32- Just a minute, sir.- Yes?
1:32:32 > 1:32:34We're looking for an agent of the tsar.
1:32:34 > 1:32:36Have you seen any suspicious persons?
1:32:36 > 1:32:38- What does he look like? - Foreign-looking.
1:32:38 > 1:32:39Dressed in black with a tall hat.
1:32:42 > 1:32:43Who are you?
1:32:43 > 1:32:46I am Sir Charles Dillworthy - British and proud of it.
1:32:46 > 1:32:48- Sorry, sir.- The damn sauce!
1:32:54 > 1:32:55Come on.
1:32:58 > 1:33:00TRAIN ENGINE RUMBLES
1:33:09 > 1:33:12Hey! Why are we stopped? We're late already.
1:33:12 > 1:33:14The Royal train's stopped at the station ahead.
1:33:14 > 1:33:17We have to wait for it to pull out.
1:33:17 > 1:33:19- Is this Caerflwyti?- Yes.
1:33:21 > 1:33:22Hey! You can't do that, miss!
1:33:22 > 1:33:24Hey!
1:33:32 > 1:33:35CAR ENGINE SPLUTTERS
1:33:39 > 1:33:41Put...put the block under the back wheel.
1:33:48 > 1:33:52- Run out of gas. - No gas lamps anywhere, Smythe.
1:33:52 > 1:33:54We're stuck.
1:33:54 > 1:33:56We're jolly well not.
1:33:59 > 1:34:04# We must always trust the stranger
1:34:04 > 1:34:09# We must help him on his way... #
1:34:09 > 1:34:11SOMEONE KNOCKS AT THE DOOR
1:34:17 > 1:34:20Gas company, sir. Checking the pressure.
1:34:20 > 1:34:22On a Sunday?
1:34:23 > 1:34:25I don't want to alarm the family, sir,
1:34:25 > 1:34:27but we've had a lot of explosions.
1:34:27 > 1:34:31- Oh, Heaven preserve us! Do come in.- Thank you, sir.
1:34:35 > 1:34:36How do you do?
1:34:38 > 1:34:39Thank you.
1:34:45 > 1:34:48- How long will it take? - Oh, just a jiffy.
1:34:50 > 1:34:51Hup!
1:34:51 > 1:34:53Oh, the humiliation...
1:34:57 > 1:34:59Well, do carry on.
1:35:04 > 1:35:08# We must always trust the stranger
1:35:08 > 1:35:13# We must help him on his way
1:35:13 > 1:35:18# We must always try to give a helping hand
1:35:18 > 1:35:21# A helping hand
1:35:21 > 1:35:25# We must shelter him from danger
1:35:25 > 1:35:29# And our trust, he will repay
1:35:29 > 1:35:37# And the spirit of love he'll understand
1:35:37 > 1:35:40# He'll understand
1:35:40 > 1:35:46# If you see a fellow traveller on the wayside
1:35:46 > 1:35:51# You must give him all the help and love you can
1:35:51 > 1:35:53# The love you can... #
1:35:53 > 1:35:54KNOCKING
1:35:54 > 1:35:59# You must never have a moment's hesitation
1:35:59 > 1:36:02# Or your best attempts to be... #
1:36:02 > 1:36:06Oh, please, can you help me? I must get to the moonship.
1:36:06 > 1:36:07They're trying to blow it up.
1:36:07 > 1:36:11- The moonship? Heaven preserve us! Come in.- Thank you.
1:36:11 > 1:36:13Stop, stop!
1:36:13 > 1:36:17This young woman says they're trying to blow up the moonship.
1:36:17 > 1:36:19Oh, she does, does she?
1:36:19 > 1:36:20Oh!
1:36:24 > 1:36:26- Lift it!- What do you mean, "lift it?"
1:36:26 > 1:36:28Ah...
1:36:42 > 1:36:44It's that Madelaine. She's escaped. Come on!
1:36:46 > 1:36:47Get in.
1:37:01 > 1:37:05- We're towing something, Smythe. - Hm? Oh, shut up!
1:37:34 > 1:37:35Can't you go any faster?
1:38:35 > 1:38:38ENGINE CLANKS AND WATER GURGLES
1:38:44 > 1:38:47Come on! Faster, you sluggard!
1:38:52 > 1:38:55Dillworthy? Dillworthy...
1:38:55 > 1:38:57Oh!
1:39:13 > 1:39:16Oh...I'm sorry, Smythe.
1:39:16 > 1:39:18I lost my temper, I deeply apologise.
1:39:18 > 1:39:20Yes - you'll have to watch that temper of yours,
1:39:20 > 1:39:22it'll get you into trouble one of these days.
1:39:22 > 1:39:24We're in trouble now. We've lost her.
1:39:24 > 1:39:27We're done for, Smythe, we're done for!
1:39:27 > 1:39:29No, we are not. Come on.
1:39:35 > 1:39:38CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
1:39:42 > 1:39:47- I'm looking for Barnum.- Where is he? - There he is, over there.
1:39:47 > 1:39:49Ah - Barnum?
1:39:51 > 1:39:54Her Majesty's on time. She'll be here in five minutes.
1:39:54 > 1:39:58Well, I wish von Bulow was on time. He's still preparing the charge.
1:40:02 > 1:40:05491.
1:40:09 > 1:40:11Oh - there's one barrel short.
1:40:15 > 1:40:18I shouldn't think one barrel would make much difference with that lot.
1:40:22 > 1:40:24How do we detonate it, Sarge?
1:40:24 > 1:40:26We don't detonate it, lad.
1:40:26 > 1:40:29The moonship is dropped from the top of the shaft up there.
1:40:29 > 1:40:31It lands on the Bulovite down here,
1:40:31 > 1:40:34causing an explosion which launches it up again.
1:40:34 > 1:40:36Hurry up with that last barrel.
1:40:47 > 1:40:48Oh...!
1:40:57 > 1:40:58Argh!
1:41:24 > 1:41:26SERGEANT LAUGHS
1:41:33 > 1:41:35Stretcher bearers!
1:41:56 > 1:42:00- I will not have this girl harmed, Smythe.- This won't harm her.
1:42:00 > 1:42:01It'll just stun her a bit.
1:42:05 > 1:42:08Come on, Dillworthy - help me with this rock.
1:42:08 > 1:42:09Oh, all right.
1:42:11 > 1:42:12- Smythe!- What?
1:42:17 > 1:42:19You'll never stun that lot, Smythe.
1:42:36 > 1:42:40She's told them, Smythe. We're finished, we're finished!
1:42:40 > 1:42:41We're not - come on!
1:42:45 > 1:42:48MARCHING BAND PLAYS TUNE
1:43:11 > 1:43:16As the first person to attempt an astronautical voyage
1:43:16 > 1:43:18from the Earth to the Moon,
1:43:18 > 1:43:24we award you this decoration and wish you bon voyage.
1:43:27 > 1:43:29Oh - and a safe return.
1:43:30 > 1:43:32Atchoo!
1:43:34 > 1:43:38The moonship will be launched in six minutes' time.
1:43:38 > 1:43:40Six minutes.
1:43:43 > 1:43:46Tell Colonel Scuttling we've found the agent of the tsar!
1:43:49 > 1:43:51You're mad - you're mad!
1:43:51 > 1:43:53I'm French! Francais!
1:44:04 > 1:44:07And to you, Professor von Bulow...
1:44:07 > 1:44:11Oh, it's not...not me, Ma'am. It's him.
1:44:17 > 1:44:18Oh, dear.
1:44:29 > 1:44:31Oh, dear - are you unwell too?
1:44:31 > 1:44:33As well as can be expected, Ma'am,
1:44:33 > 1:44:37after serving you for 15 years in the colonies.
1:44:37 > 1:44:39I thought you looked like an old soldier.
1:44:56 > 1:45:01The moonship will be launched in four minutes' time.
1:45:01 > 1:45:02Four minutes.
1:45:04 > 1:45:06This was the young lady, Colonel.
1:45:06 > 1:45:10You must let me go. He will be killed, I tell you.
1:45:10 > 1:45:12Do you admit that you are an agent of the tsar?
1:45:12 > 1:45:13No, of course not.
1:45:16 > 1:45:18- Bring the young lady a chair, Sergeant.- Yes, sir.
1:45:18 > 1:45:21This may take some time.
1:45:21 > 1:45:24DRUMS BEAT
1:45:54 > 1:45:58The moonship will be launched in two minutes' time.
1:45:58 > 1:45:59Two minutes.
1:46:02 > 1:46:04- Good luck, my boy. - Thank you very much, sir.
1:46:04 > 1:46:08I usually have quite a lot to say, but upon this occasion,
1:46:08 > 1:46:10I can only think of one thing, young man.
1:46:11 > 1:46:14- Good luck. - Thank you very much, sir.
1:46:14 > 1:46:16WELL WISHERS CALL OUT
1:46:40 > 1:46:42Atchoo!
1:46:42 > 1:46:47So, you claim to be French, eh? Very well...
1:46:48 > 1:46:51Ou est la plume de ma tante?
1:46:51 > 1:46:52- Eh?- Ah-ha!
1:46:52 > 1:46:54You don't understand me, do you?
1:46:54 > 1:46:57I don't understand any of you. You're all mad!
1:46:59 > 1:47:02The moonship will be launched in one minute's time.
1:47:02 > 1:47:04She couldn't have told them.
1:47:13 > 1:47:1630 seconds to go.
1:47:16 > 1:47:17Argh!
1:47:19 > 1:47:23Atchoo! Atchoo!
1:47:31 > 1:47:32It's all right!
1:47:32 > 1:47:3420 seconds...
1:47:34 > 1:47:36I heard them say it will blow up when he pulls the lever.
1:47:36 > 1:47:37Please...please...
1:47:37 > 1:47:3915 seconds...
1:47:39 > 1:47:41Let's go!
1:47:46 > 1:47:4810 seconds.
1:47:48 > 1:47:49Nine.
1:47:49 > 1:47:51Eight.
1:47:51 > 1:47:52Seven.
1:47:52 > 1:47:53Six.
1:47:53 > 1:47:55Five.
1:47:55 > 1:47:57Four.
1:47:57 > 1:47:58Three.
1:47:58 > 1:47:59Two.
1:47:59 > 1:48:01One second...
1:48:08 > 1:48:11CROWD MURMURS
1:48:20 > 1:48:22FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
1:48:31 > 1:48:34What's happening? Has something gone wrong?
1:48:34 > 1:48:38- Who are you?- An agent of the tsar.
1:48:38 > 1:48:41Oh, I forgot - I'm not supposed to tell.
1:49:13 > 1:49:16- Chloroform - it must have leaked. - Thank heavens.
1:49:19 > 1:49:21Come, boys. Get him out.
1:49:23 > 1:49:25Something's wrong. They're bringing him out.
1:49:29 > 1:49:32Do you know something? We've won, Smythe.
1:49:32 > 1:49:35We've won! He's unconscious.
1:49:35 > 1:49:38They'll never get it off the ground now.
1:49:38 > 1:49:40He might recover. Come on.
1:49:41 > 1:49:44Put him down. I said, put him down!
1:49:44 > 1:49:46That's right - put him down.
1:49:48 > 1:49:50We must revive him.
1:49:50 > 1:49:53No, he can't go up. It's been sabotaged!
1:49:53 > 1:49:56There may yet be time to fix it. Come here.
1:50:34 > 1:50:37That's their precious moonship finished.
1:50:37 > 1:50:40Yes. It'll never go up if he knows he can't get back.
1:50:45 > 1:50:47BOOM!
1:50:51 > 1:50:53Great balls of fire - it's dropped!
1:50:56 > 1:50:58Smythe! What have you done?
1:50:59 > 1:51:01HE SHRIEKS
1:51:01 > 1:51:02Down, everybody!
1:51:04 > 1:51:08Down, everybody, quickly! Your Majesty!
1:51:16 > 1:51:19We have succeeded! Magnificent!
1:51:26 > 1:51:28Gone. Not a soul on board.
1:51:30 > 1:51:3210 million dollars, wasted.
1:51:56 > 1:51:58Coal, Barnum, coal!
1:51:58 > 1:52:01- I'm rich!- We're rich.
1:52:01 > 1:52:05You sold the rights to the committee. We're rich!
1:52:05 > 1:52:07You're right. We're rich!
1:52:07 > 1:52:09We'll have enough money to build another moonship.
1:52:09 > 1:52:11HE LAUGHS
1:52:25 > 1:52:27I blame you for this, Dillworthy.
1:52:27 > 1:52:28Because of your stupid bungling,
1:52:28 > 1:52:31we're doomed to spend the rest of our days
1:52:31 > 1:52:32with these filthy moon-men.
1:52:32 > 1:52:35I tell you, we're not on the moon.
1:52:35 > 1:52:37We're in Russia. Probably Siberia.
1:52:37 > 1:52:39Nonsense! We are on the moon.
1:52:39 > 1:52:40I tell you, we're not.
1:52:47 > 1:52:50Everybody happy?
1:52:50 > 1:52:51Everybody sing!
1:52:51 > 1:52:52WHIP CRACKS
1:52:52 > 1:52:56# Yo-hee-ho
1:52:56 > 1:53:01# Yo-hee-ho... #
1:53:01 > 1:53:03There you are, Smythe.
1:53:03 > 1:53:06If we're on the moon, why are they singing Russian songs?
1:53:06 > 1:53:10It simply means, Dillworthy, that the Russians got here first.
1:53:13 > 1:53:15# Yo-hee-ho... #
1:53:15 > 1:53:19- Dillworthy.- What? - Dillworthy, I have an idea.
1:53:19 > 1:53:22No, Smythe. I won't listen.
1:53:22 > 1:53:25I'll tell you something - you'll get shot here.
1:53:25 > 1:53:26Seriously shot.
1:53:26 > 1:53:27But Dillers, old man...
1:54:00 > 1:54:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd