Kind Hearts and Coronets

0:01:48 > 0:01:50BELL RINGING

0:02:00 > 0:02:01GATE UNLOCKING

0:02:04 > 0:02:06- Evening, Mr Elliott. - Good evening.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Brr.

0:02:11 > 0:02:14- Just sign the book, if you will? - Yes.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17- Been keeping you busy, Mr Elliott? - Oh, just nicely.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Went up to Manchester on Monday, a poisoner.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Baby-farmer at Holloway this morning.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Very ordinary crimes, both of them.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25This one we've got for you tomorrow is something special.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Yes, very much so.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Even after all my years in the profession,

0:02:29 > 0:02:31I'm quite looking forward to him.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34- Well, I must be getting along. - Good night, Mr Elliott.- Good night.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36- Usual cup of tea at 7:00? - Oh, please.

0:02:37 > 0:02:41Even my lamented master, the great Mr Barry himself

0:02:41 > 0:02:43never had the privilege of hanging a duke.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45Yes.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48What a finale to a lifetime in the public service.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51- "Finale"? - Yes, I intend to retire.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53After using the silken rope,

0:02:53 > 0:02:56never again be content with hemp.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59- Quite. Well, here we are. - Oh, thank you.

0:03:15 > 0:03:16How will he approach it?

0:03:16 > 0:03:19I should think as the calmest you've ever known.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Noblesse oblige, doubtless.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26A difficult client can make things most distressing.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29Some of them tend to be very hysterical.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31So inconsiderate.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35Well, Colonel, considering the importance of the occasion,

0:03:35 > 0:03:37I shall retire early.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41The last execution of a duke in this country was very badly bungled.

0:03:41 > 0:03:45That was in the old days of the axe, of course. Yes.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Oh, I... I almost forgot.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Um, you must forgive my ignorance

0:03:51 > 0:03:54but when we meet in the morning,

0:03:54 > 0:03:57what is the correct form of address?

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- Your Lordship?- Your Grace.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03"Your Grace"? Oh.

0:04:03 > 0:04:04Thank you.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10- Good morning, Your Grace. - REPEATS TO HIMSELF

0:04:23 > 0:04:26- All right. Sit down.- Ah, good evening, Colonel. Glass of wine?

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Good evening, Your Grace. Uh, thank you, no.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32I called to inquire whether you had any special wishes for breakfast.

0:04:32 > 0:04:35- HE EXHALES:- Just coffee and a slice of toast, thank you.

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Oh, and perhaps a few grapes.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39I hate to disappoint the newspaper-reading public

0:04:39 > 0:04:42but it'll be too early for the conventional hearty breakfast.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44The appointment is at 8:00, is it not?

0:04:44 > 0:04:46At 8:00, er, yes.

0:04:46 > 0:04:50If I may venture to say so, I am amazed at your calmness.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Dr Johnson was, as always, right,

0:04:54 > 0:04:56when he observed, "Depend upon it, sir.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58"When a man knows that he's going to be hanged in a few hours,

0:04:58 > 0:05:01"it concentrates his mind wonderfully."

0:05:01 > 0:05:05Yes. Well, if there is nothing further I can do for you...

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Nothing, thank you, Colonel. We shall have the opportunity

0:05:07 > 0:05:10of making our adieus in the morning, I presume.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12I regret to say, yes.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16- Good night, Your Grace. - Good night, Colonel.

0:05:24 > 0:05:28- LOUIS NARRATES:- 'A brief history of the events leading thereto

0:05:28 > 0:05:30'written on the eve of his execution

0:05:30 > 0:05:35'by Louis D'Ascoyne Mazzini, 10th Duke of Chalfont

0:05:35 > 0:05:38'who ventures to hope that it may prove not uninteresting

0:05:38 > 0:05:40'to those who remain to read it.'

0:05:40 > 0:05:42GUARD SNORES

0:05:45 > 0:05:46SNORING CONTINUES

0:05:46 > 0:05:50My good man, it is not by my choice that you keep me company.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54If you wish to sleep, pray do me the courtesy of sleeping quietly.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00'With so little time remaining to complete my story,

0:06:00 > 0:06:03'it is difficult to choose where to begin it.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05'Perhaps I should begin at the beginning.'

0:06:05 > 0:06:07- BABY CRYING - 'I was a healthy baby,

0:06:07 > 0:06:11'born of an English mother and Italian father...'

0:06:11 > 0:06:13- HE GASPS - '..who succumbed to a heart attack

0:06:13 > 0:06:17'at the moment of first setting eyes on me. In the circumstances,

0:06:17 > 0:06:20'it will be understood that I have but slight memory of him.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22'The little I know comes from what Mama told me.'

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Your father was a very handsome man.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48SINGING IN ITALIAN

0:07:37 > 0:07:40'Mama was the daughter of the seventh duke of Chalfont

0:07:40 > 0:07:42'of Chalfont Castle.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45'She eloped with her handsome singer

0:07:45 > 0:07:49'and exchanged the medieval splendours of Chalfont Castle

0:07:49 > 0:07:52'for the modern conveniences of No 73, Balaclava Avenue, SW.'

0:07:54 > 0:07:56SINGING IN ITALIAN

0:08:01 > 0:08:05'They were poor, but they had five happy and harmonious years

0:08:05 > 0:08:09'before my arrival sent Papa off to join the heavenly choir.

0:08:14 > 0:08:17'Reduced to even deeper poverty by my father's death,

0:08:17 > 0:08:19'Mama swallowed her pride

0:08:19 > 0:08:23'and made an effort at reconciliation with her family.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25'They did not even reply to her letter.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28'In order to keep us both alive, she was reduced

0:08:28 > 0:08:31'to the horrible expedient of taking in a lodger.'

0:08:31 > 0:08:33HE SNORTS LOUDLY

0:08:33 > 0:08:36'For him, she had to perform the most menial tasks.

0:08:36 > 0:08:40'She felt that her family had conspired to cheat me of my birthright,

0:08:40 > 0:08:43'and I passed from infancy to childhood

0:08:43 > 0:08:46'in an atmosphere of family history and genealogies.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49'The dukedom had been bestowed

0:08:49 > 0:08:53'by Charles II on Colonel Henry D'Ascoyne

0:08:53 > 0:08:56'for services rendered to His Majesty during his exile.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00'Later, for services rendered to His Majesty

0:09:00 > 0:09:03'after his restoration by the Duchess,

0:09:03 > 0:09:05'the title was granted the unique privilege

0:09:05 > 0:09:09'of descending by the female as well as the male line.'

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Louis.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12'It was therefore theoretically possible

0:09:12 > 0:09:15'that, via Mama, I might inherit the dukedom.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20'Mama scraped and saved

0:09:20 > 0:09:23'and sent me to the best school she could afford.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26'One little incident of my school days occurs to me as amusing

0:09:26 > 0:09:28'in relation to my present situation.'

0:09:28 > 0:09:29Lionel Holland.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32What is the Sixth Commandment?

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Come, come now.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Someone else then.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40I know, please, Miss Waterman.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42Louis Mazzini. Tell him.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Thou shalt not kill. - Quite right, Louis.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49The Sixth Commandment is, "Thou shalt not kill."

0:09:49 > 0:09:53'No, in those days, I never had any trouble with the Sixth Commandment.

0:09:53 > 0:09:58'As to the Seventh, I was hardly of an age to concern myself with it.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01'Although I was old enough to be in love.

0:10:01 > 0:10:03'So Sibella enters my story.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06'Sibella and her brother, Graham, were my only close friends

0:10:06 > 0:10:09'and we grew up together. In their case,

0:10:09 > 0:10:13'Mama relaxed her objection to my associating with the local children.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17'At least their father, Dr Halworth, was a professional man.'

0:10:18 > 0:10:23Louis, we must think very carefully about your future.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24Well, it should be quite easy to get a job.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Not a job, dear. A career.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31I had hoped for Cambridge for you.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34The D'Ascoynes always go to Trinity.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37And then, perhaps, the diplomatic.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40But I'm afraid it's no use looking as high as that.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43However, when you've passed your examination

0:10:43 > 0:10:46that should equip you for a start in one of the professions.

0:10:46 > 0:10:48People of quite good family

0:10:48 > 0:10:50go into the professions nowadays, I understand.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Now, who do we know who could help us?

0:10:55 > 0:10:59We don't really know anyone, except the family, and they don't know us.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02The least we can do is try once more.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07I shall write to Lord Ascoyne D'Ascoyne.

0:11:07 > 0:11:09He can surely do something in that bank of his.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Bank, Mama? Is that a profession?

0:11:12 > 0:11:15This is a private bank, Louis, dear.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18They don't pass money over the counter.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22'The letter was duly dispatched and this time we did get an answer.'

0:11:22 > 0:11:25"Madam, I am instructed by Lord Ascoyne D'Ascoyne

0:11:25 > 0:11:28"to inform you that he is not aware of your son's existence

0:11:28 > 0:11:31"as a member of the D'Ascoyne family."

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Signed by his secretary.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37It's very stupid of him, of them all, not to admit your existence

0:11:37 > 0:11:40when one day you might be Duke of Chalfont.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42It's a very big "might," Mama.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44There must be at least 12 people before me

0:11:44 > 0:11:47to say nothing of the ones who haven't been born yet.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Stranger things have happened.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52I don't wish to be unchristian, but in view of their attitude,

0:11:52 > 0:11:55I could almost wish those 12 people should all die tomorrow.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59All except one, Mama.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Because you must be Duchess of Chalfont before I'm duke.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09It will have to be a job, not a career, after all, Mama.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11I'm afraid so, Louis.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13SOBBING: A D'Ascoyne in trade.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16'Did poor Mama's silly dreaming

0:12:16 > 0:12:19'plant in my brain some seed which was afterwards to grow

0:12:19 > 0:12:23'into the most sensational criminal endeavour of the century?

0:12:23 > 0:12:25'If so, I was not conscious of it at the time

0:12:25 > 0:12:28'for there were things of more immediate concern.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30'Even potential dukes have to eat.

0:12:30 > 0:12:33'Mr Perkins, our lodger for nearly 15 years,

0:12:33 > 0:12:35'did his best to be helpful.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37'He was employed as shop walker in a local drapery store

0:12:37 > 0:12:39'and found employment for me there.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42'The possible future Duke of Chalfont

0:12:42 > 0:12:46'became what was known as a general assistant at the drapery.

0:12:46 > 0:12:50'This humiliation continued for two dispiriting years.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54'And then one day, Mama, who had broken her glasses

0:12:54 > 0:12:56'and could not afford to have them mended,

0:12:56 > 0:12:59'was knocked down by a tram near Clapham Junction

0:12:59 > 0:13:01'and fatally injured.'

0:13:03 > 0:13:05- WEAKLY: Louis. - Yes, Mama.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10I should like to be buried at Chalfont,

0:13:10 > 0:13:12in the family vault.

0:13:14 > 0:13:15Yes, Mama.

0:13:24 > 0:13:29'I wrote to the Duke informing him of Mama's dying wish.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32'His reply was the curtest possible refusal.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34'Standing by Mama's poor little grave

0:13:34 > 0:13:36'in that hideous suburban cemetery,

0:13:36 > 0:13:40'I made an oath that I would revenge the wrongs her family had done her.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45'It was no more than a piece of youthful bravado

0:13:45 > 0:13:47'but it was one of those acorns

0:13:47 > 0:13:49'from which great oaks are destined to grow.

0:13:49 > 0:13:52'Even then, I went so far as to examine the family tree

0:13:52 > 0:13:55'and prune it to just the living members.

0:13:55 > 0:13:57'But what could I do to hurt them?

0:13:57 > 0:14:00'What could I take from them,

0:14:00 > 0:14:03'except, perhaps, their lives?

0:14:03 > 0:14:06'I indulged for a moment in a fantasy of all 12 of them

0:14:06 > 0:14:08'being wiped out simultaneously at a family reunion

0:14:08 > 0:14:10'by my unseen hand.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12'Of the penniless boy from Clapham

0:14:12 > 0:14:15'being miraculously transplanted to his birthright.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18'I even speculated as to how I might contrive it.

0:14:19 > 0:14:21'But there were other more urgent problems.

0:14:21 > 0:14:25'Mama's tiny income came from an annuity and had died with her.

0:14:26 > 0:14:30'The problem of how to live on 25 shillings a week was solved for me

0:14:30 > 0:14:33'by an invitation from Dr Halworth to lodge with them.

0:14:33 > 0:14:37'It was galling to accept the status of a poor relation

0:14:37 > 0:14:40'but the certainty of seeing Sibella every day

0:14:40 > 0:14:42'was too tempting to be refused.'

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Louis, I'm so glad you accepted.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47It was my idea, you know.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51- I've brought you something. - Oh, Louis, you shouldn't have.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54You can't possibly afford it.

0:14:54 > 0:14:55CAR HONKING

0:14:55 > 0:14:58Oh, what a bother. There's Lionel.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00See you at supper.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04DOOR CLOSING

0:15:08 > 0:15:10CAR DRIVING AWAY

0:15:10 > 0:15:14'The next few years brought many such heartbreaks,

0:15:14 > 0:15:15'but they also brought promotion.

0:15:15 > 0:15:18'Laces and ribbons at 30 shillings a week,

0:15:18 > 0:15:21'fabrics at 32 and six.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24'Finally, ladies' underwear at 35.'

0:15:24 > 0:15:25DOOR OPENING

0:15:34 > 0:15:37'I decided that if I was to be a draper,

0:15:37 > 0:15:40'at least I would not be a suburban draper.

0:15:40 > 0:15:44'So I migrated to a large modern store which had just been opened

0:15:44 > 0:15:47'in the West End, at the gigantic salary of £2 a week.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52'Every lunchtime, I went to see how my inheritance was proceeding.

0:15:52 > 0:15:55'Sometimes, the deaths column brought good news.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06'Sometimes, the births column brought bad.

0:16:08 > 0:16:12'The advent of twin sons to the Duke was a terrible blow.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16'Fortunately, an epidemic of diphtheria

0:16:16 > 0:16:19'restored the status quo almost immediately

0:16:19 > 0:16:22'and even brought me a bonus in the shape of the Duchess.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26'That summer, the Halworths gave a party.'

0:16:26 > 0:16:28PIANO PLAYING

0:16:28 > 0:16:30PEOPLE CHATTERING

0:16:34 > 0:16:36- Good evening, Sibella.- Hello, Louis.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40- You do look nice.- So do you.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42- Doesn't he, Lionel?- Very.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44LIONEL CLEARS THROAT

0:16:51 > 0:16:53'Emboldened by her kindness to me,

0:16:53 > 0:16:57'made a decision I'd been toying with for some time.'

0:16:57 > 0:17:01Well, that's the last of them, thank heaven.

0:17:01 > 0:17:03- What an evening.- I thought it was a very nice evening.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05It may have been for you. Oh!

0:17:05 > 0:17:10It's awful being a woman, having to dance with a lot of dull men,

0:17:10 > 0:17:13laugh at their jokes while they're treading on your feet.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15- I didn't tread on your feet. - You're not dull.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18- And your jokes are funny. - Thank you.

0:17:19 > 0:17:21- Sibella?- Mm-hm?

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Sibella, will you marry me?

0:17:24 > 0:17:26SHE LAUGHS

0:17:26 > 0:17:31Louis, of course not. Do get up. You may be half Italian, but even so,

0:17:31 > 0:17:33you do look silly playing the stage lover like that.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36- Oh, I look silly, do I?- Yes. Very.

0:17:43 > 0:17:44Do I still look silly?

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Now, will you marry me?

0:17:54 > 0:17:56No.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Why not?- Because I just said I'd marry Lionel.

0:18:01 > 0:18:03- You can't.- Why not?

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Well, he's a clod. He's not a gentleman.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Listen to who's talking.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Whoever heard of a gentleman blacking the lodger's boots?

0:18:11 > 0:18:14That's a wicked thing to say. Just because Mama was poor.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17Lionel will be very rich one day.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20- I might be a duke one day. - Pigs might fly.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24No, I might. Really, I might. You see, Mama was the daughter...

0:18:24 > 0:18:25YAWNING: Oh, yes. I know.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Well, when you are a duke,

0:18:27 > 0:18:30you just come and show me your crown, or whatever it's called

0:18:30 > 0:18:32and then I'll feel awfully silly, won't I?

0:18:32 > 0:18:33Yes, you will.

0:18:33 > 0:18:37Anyhow, I'm going to marry Lionel and now I'm going to bed.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42You will.

0:18:42 > 0:18:43SIBELLA LAUGHING

0:18:46 > 0:18:48'If there was a precise moment

0:18:48 > 0:18:52'at which my insubstantial dreaming took on solid purpose, that was it.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55'The D'Ascoynes had not only wronged my mother,

0:18:55 > 0:18:58'they were the obstacle between me and all that I wanted.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03'The more I thought of them, these people whom I had studied

0:19:03 > 0:19:07'until I knew their names and histories as well as I knew my own,

0:19:07 > 0:19:10'the more they became monsters of arrogance and cruelty

0:19:10 > 0:19:14'whose only function in the world was to deprive me of my birthright.

0:19:16 > 0:19:20'I had seen Chalfont only as Mama had painted it.

0:19:24 > 0:19:28'To pass in through that magnificent gateway, on Visitors Day

0:19:28 > 0:19:31'at a cost of sixpence was a humiliating experience,

0:19:31 > 0:19:35'but I forced myself to undergo it. I wanted a closer view

0:19:35 > 0:19:38'of the target at which I had determined to aim.'

0:19:39 > 0:19:41INAUDIBLE

0:19:41 > 0:19:45'I little expected to catch a glimpse of the bull's-eye.'

0:19:49 > 0:19:51Excuse me, sir.

0:19:51 > 0:19:54'There were then some eight people between me and the dukedom

0:19:54 > 0:19:56'all seemingly equally out of reach.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59'It is so difficult to make a neat job of killing people

0:19:59 > 0:20:02'with whom one is not on friendly terms.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05'I was almost resigned to its being an impossibility

0:20:05 > 0:20:08'when one afternoon, at a moment when my thoughts

0:20:08 > 0:20:11'were furthest from the subject, fate took a hand.'

0:20:11 > 0:20:14If you've nothing better, those will have to do.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16These London shops are so far behind Paris.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19Parcel them up quickly, and we'll take them with us.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22- Charge them to my account. - Yes, sir. What is the name?

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Mr Ascoyne D'Ascoyne.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29'At last, I was face to face with one of them.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32'This was the son of Lord Ascoyne D'Ascoyne, the banker,

0:20:32 > 0:20:35'whose refusal to help me towards a more dignified career

0:20:35 > 0:20:38'had led to my present ignominious occupation.

0:20:38 > 0:20:40'What right had this arrogant puppy

0:20:40 > 0:20:43'to be standing on the other side of the counter ordering me about?

0:20:43 > 0:20:45'In my excitement and anger,

0:20:45 > 0:20:47'I listened openly to their conversation.'

0:20:47 > 0:20:50I've booked rooms at Cruickshanks' at Maidenhead.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52We'll go down late on Friday afternoon.

0:20:52 > 0:20:53Are you sure it's safe?

0:20:53 > 0:20:57It's the most discreet place. In fact, anonymous.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Hey, you. Get on with that parcel and never mind what we're talking about.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Don't you dare touch me like that!

0:21:03 > 0:21:06I'm not interested in your idiotic conversation.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10If you want to add impertinence to your eavesdropping,

0:21:10 > 0:21:12we'll soon see about that.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17'The upshot was that I was dismissed on the spot.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20'I decided to repay him in kind

0:21:20 > 0:21:24'by dismissing him with equal suddenness from this world.

0:21:24 > 0:21:25'His conversation had told me

0:21:25 > 0:21:28'where I could probably find the opportunity to kill him.

0:21:28 > 0:21:31'Dr Halworth's dispensary had provided me with a means.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36'With the week's wages I had received in lieu of notice,

0:21:36 > 0:21:40'I invested in suitable apparel for a weekend at Maidenhead.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52'It was possible they might remember me

0:21:52 > 0:21:53'but I thought it unlikely,

0:21:53 > 0:21:56'shop assistants being commonly regarded as an inferior race

0:21:56 > 0:21:59'who never emerged from the other side of the counter.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05'I decided to take the bull by the horns.'

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Forgive me. I wonder if you could oblige me with a match.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12- Certainly.- Thank you.

0:22:12 > 0:22:16- Haven't we met before somewhere? - I don't think so.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Funny, cos I could have sworn I knew your face.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Were you at Monte last year? - The year before.

0:22:21 > 0:22:24Ah, that must be it. Won't you join me?

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Thank you. Not this evening.

0:22:26 > 0:22:28We are rather tired.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37'I deprecated their retiring so early,

0:22:37 > 0:22:39'but it was hard to blame them,

0:22:39 > 0:22:42'for weekends, like life, are short.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46'The next morning, I waited for them to come down

0:22:46 > 0:22:48'and the next afternoon.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53'They didn't appear the whole day.

0:22:58 > 0:22:59'Nor the morning after.

0:23:15 > 0:23:17'I no longer felt sentimental.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19'The weekend was nearly over, and I could hardly expect providence

0:23:19 > 0:23:22'to offer me so promising a chance again.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24'I was in a state of desperation

0:23:24 > 0:23:27'and I followed them, hoping for I knew not what.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32'I had the poison with me, but they hadn't even taken a picnic basket.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34'It was possible, however,

0:23:34 > 0:23:36'that they might stop somewhere for refreshment.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42'They did stop shortly afterwards,

0:23:42 > 0:23:43'but not for that.

0:23:45 > 0:23:48'Judging by past experience, they would be there for hours.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09'The rest followed automatically.

0:24:09 > 0:24:13'I had fortunately learned to swim at the Clapham Municipal Baths

0:24:13 > 0:24:15'though I never had occasion to try it underwater.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19'I had no wish to surface under their noses,

0:24:19 > 0:24:22'though I doubt if they would have noticed me even if I had.

0:24:28 > 0:24:29'It was beautifully timed.'

0:24:29 > 0:24:32BELL RINGING

0:25:03 > 0:25:04'I was sorry about the girl,

0:25:04 > 0:25:07'but found some relief in the reflection that she had presumably,

0:25:07 > 0:25:11'during the weekend, already undergone a fate worse than death.

0:25:20 > 0:25:24'I decided to defer consideration of where and how I should next strike

0:25:24 > 0:25:27'until my nerves were thoroughly restored.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29'It must be remembered that I was very young

0:25:29 > 0:25:32'and, furthermore, I am not naturally callous.

0:25:34 > 0:25:36'I suddenly conceived a brilliant idea.

0:25:38 > 0:25:41'I would write a carefully-phrased letter of condolence

0:25:41 > 0:25:43'to old Ascoyne D'Ascoyne.

0:25:43 > 0:25:47'It would be an agreeable feeling of revenge for his cruelty to Mama.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50'And, further, it had not failed to occur to me that there was,

0:25:50 > 0:25:52'at the moment, a vacancy in the banking house.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56'Ascoyne D'Ascoyne duly rose to the bait.'

0:25:57 > 0:26:00Please be seated, Mr Mazzini.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06How do you do?

0:26:11 > 0:26:13My late son.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19A great loss.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21He was young and foolish

0:26:21 > 0:26:24but I believe had he been spared until his maturity...

0:26:24 > 0:26:27It was my consciousness of that which led me to presume

0:26:27 > 0:26:30- to tender you my sympathy. - I am glad that you did so.

0:26:30 > 0:26:34A loss so tragic serves to put lesser matters in their proper perspective.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38If I remember rightly, Mr Mazzini,

0:26:38 > 0:26:42some years ago I received a communication

0:26:42 > 0:26:44from your mother.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46My late mother.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56Hello, Louis. You look very pleased with yourself.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58- So do you.- I have news.

0:26:58 > 0:27:00- So have I.- What is it? - No, yours first.

0:27:00 > 0:27:04Lionel and I have fixed a date for our wedding, in two months' time.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06My congratulations.

0:27:06 > 0:27:09No, I should congratulate him. I compliment you.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12- Now yours. - Nothing as exciting as yours.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16I went today to see Lord Ascoyne D'Ascoyne, my cousin, you know.

0:27:16 > 0:27:18He has a private banking house in the city.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20He offered me employment at once at £5 a week

0:27:20 > 0:27:23with excellent prospects for promotion.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27Louis, I'm so glad for you.

0:27:29 > 0:27:33- Louis, do you remember?- What?

0:27:33 > 0:27:35Once, in this room...

0:27:36 > 0:27:39..after my party...

0:27:39 > 0:27:41- I kissed you.- Yes.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43And you were horrible to me.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45Yes.

0:27:45 > 0:27:49I made fun about you being related to the D'Ascoynes.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52I'm sorry.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55- You'll take it more seriously now? - Yes.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Louis, kiss me...

0:27:59 > 0:28:01..to show you've forgiven me.

0:28:05 > 0:28:08No, it would be wrong. You're pledged to Lionel.

0:28:08 > 0:28:11I behaved like a cad that night.

0:28:11 > 0:28:14I like you when you behave like a cad.

0:28:14 > 0:28:16MUSIC PLAYING

0:28:20 > 0:28:24You're a person who must dance through life, Sibella,

0:28:24 > 0:28:26and I hope Lionel won't tread on your feet too often.

0:28:31 > 0:28:33'My new employment was humble enough,

0:28:33 > 0:28:36'but I had to test the rungs of the ladder before I could climb it.'

0:28:43 > 0:28:44That's very nice.

0:28:44 > 0:28:46LOUIS CLEARS THROAT

0:28:46 > 0:28:49'The next candidate for removal seemed to be

0:28:49 > 0:28:52'young Henry D'Ascoyne, 24 years old, recently married,

0:28:52 > 0:28:55'as yet, without issue.

0:28:55 > 0:28:58'I had quite an accumulation by now of D'Ascoyne data

0:28:58 > 0:29:00'culled from newspapers and periodicals,

0:29:00 > 0:29:03'and I looked through it for a possible approach to Henry.

0:29:03 > 0:29:05'I found one.

0:29:05 > 0:29:08'I bought the necessary equipment, second hand,

0:29:08 > 0:29:11'and bicycled down the following weekend.

0:29:11 > 0:29:14'I had studied a couple of photographic manuals during the week,

0:29:14 > 0:29:17'and found that, in practice, the mysteries of the camera

0:29:17 > 0:29:19'demand a little more than ordinary intelligence,

0:29:19 > 0:29:23'plus the ability to judge a subject upside-down.

0:29:23 > 0:29:26'It was thus, indeed, that I first saw Henry D'Ascoyne.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44'My method of approach proved an instantaneous success.'

0:29:44 > 0:29:48Excuse me. Isn't that a Thornton Pickard?

0:29:48 > 0:29:50Yes. Are you a photographer?

0:29:50 > 0:29:52Dabble in it. Got a Sanger Shepherd.

0:29:52 > 0:29:54- A Sanger Shepherd? - Nice little camera.

0:29:54 > 0:29:57Focal plane shutter, rapid rectilinear and all that.

0:29:57 > 0:29:59Look here. Why not come up to my house and I'll show it to you?

0:29:59 > 0:30:01Well, I'd be most interested.

0:30:03 > 0:30:07- My name's D'Ascoyne, by the way. - Mine is Mazzini.

0:30:07 > 0:30:09'He seemed a very pleasant fellow

0:30:09 > 0:30:12'and I regretted that our acquaintanceship must be so short.'

0:30:13 > 0:30:15Had one of the potting sheds fixed up as a darkroom.

0:30:15 > 0:30:18Couldn't have suited better if it had been built for it.

0:30:18 > 0:30:20Had the equipment sent down from town.

0:30:20 > 0:30:23And I must say the results have been absolutely top-hole.

0:30:23 > 0:30:27I'll show you some quarter-plates I've taken about the village.

0:30:29 > 0:30:32There we are. Absolutely lightproof, except for this.

0:30:32 > 0:30:37Everything to hand, developing dishes here, toning bath here, whole-plate enlarger.

0:30:37 > 0:30:39- Perfect.- Not too bad, is it?

0:30:40 > 0:30:43Talking of the village, by the by, I don't know if you're thinking

0:30:43 > 0:30:45of sending any of your efforts here to some periodical,

0:30:45 > 0:30:47but there's just one thing.

0:30:48 > 0:30:51I'm sure you're a good fellow, or I wouldn't like to ask.

0:30:51 > 0:30:53Ask what?

0:30:53 > 0:30:57I'd be most grateful if you'd keep back that last plate you exposed.

0:30:57 > 0:31:00- The inn? But it was delightful. - Yes.

0:31:00 > 0:31:03The fact is, my wife has views about such places,

0:31:03 > 0:31:05so I never go in them, you understand?

0:31:05 > 0:31:07Naturally, I wouldn't dream of embarrassing you.

0:31:07 > 0:31:11I knew you were a good fellow. Suppose we drink on it?

0:31:13 > 0:31:16Unless you have views yourself, of course.

0:31:16 > 0:31:18- None.- Splendid.

0:31:18 > 0:31:21What shall it be? Sherry? Whisky?

0:31:21 > 0:31:23LOUIS CHUCKLES

0:31:24 > 0:31:26I think a small developer.

0:31:27 > 0:31:30'The mental picture of his wife I had formed from Henry's words

0:31:30 > 0:31:34'left me unprepared for the charm of the woman I was to meet.

0:31:34 > 0:31:37'She was as tall and slender as a lily and as beautiful.'

0:31:37 > 0:31:40My dear, this is Mr Mazzini. He has a Thornton Pickard.

0:31:40 > 0:31:43Mr Mazzini, my wife.

0:31:43 > 0:31:45I'm no photographer myself, Mr Mazzini,

0:31:45 > 0:31:48but I share my husband's pleasure in welcoming a fellow enthusiast.

0:31:48 > 0:31:51- You'll take some sherry? - Well, thank you, I...

0:31:57 > 0:31:59My husband and I never touch alcohol,

0:31:59 > 0:32:02but we see no reason on that account to enforce our views on our guests.

0:32:02 > 0:32:04Glass of sherry, Harwood.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06I have some printing frames out in the sun.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09If you don't mind, I'll just run out and see to them.

0:32:10 > 0:32:13Have you been in the neighbourhood long, Mr Mazzini?

0:32:13 > 0:32:14A few hours only.

0:32:14 > 0:32:16I was cycling through the village

0:32:16 > 0:32:19and felt compelled to stop and make a study or two of the inn.

0:32:19 > 0:32:22- It looked so charming. - It does LOOK charming.

0:32:22 > 0:32:24But I'm afraid it's, by no means,

0:32:24 > 0:32:27an influence for good in the lives of our people here.

0:32:27 > 0:32:29The landlord is a former coachman of ours. I have spoken to him

0:32:29 > 0:32:32several times about the amount of drinking that goes on there,

0:32:32 > 0:32:33but he continues to allow it.

0:32:33 > 0:32:36It is, after all, I suppose, his livelihood.

0:32:36 > 0:32:38I do not consider he has the right to make a livelihood

0:32:38 > 0:32:40by exploiting the weaknesses of his fellow men.

0:32:41 > 0:32:43Put as you put it, it does sound deplorable.

0:32:43 > 0:32:47It IS deplorable. Will you excuse me a moment?

0:32:47 > 0:32:49Harwood.

0:32:49 > 0:32:52'I could well understand Henry's visits to the village inn

0:32:52 > 0:32:54'and his stock of refreshments in the darkroom.

0:32:54 > 0:32:58'Mrs D'Ascoyne was beautiful, but what a prig she was.

0:32:58 > 0:33:01'I wondered how to ingratiate myself with her,

0:33:01 > 0:33:04'and decided to attack on her own ground and with her own weapons.'

0:33:04 > 0:33:07I'm afraid we can offer you only a simple luncheon, Mr Mazzini.

0:33:07 > 0:33:11You are most kind, but I feel I should not intrude.

0:33:11 > 0:33:14- It is no intrusion. - I'm afraid it is.

0:33:15 > 0:33:18- May I explain?- Please do.

0:33:21 > 0:33:25It was only when your husband told me his name that I realised

0:33:25 > 0:33:29that I'd come by chance into the most embarrassing situation.

0:33:29 > 0:33:32My mother was a member of the D'Ascoyne family.

0:33:32 > 0:33:35She married, as they thought, beneath her.

0:33:35 > 0:33:37And from that day, they refused to recognise her

0:33:37 > 0:33:40or my existence.

0:33:40 > 0:33:44I feel therefore that, although in the circumstances you might hesitate to say so to my face,

0:33:44 > 0:33:48you and your husband would prefer not to receive me at your table.

0:33:48 > 0:33:52Perhaps you would be good enough to explain matters to your husband for me.

0:33:52 > 0:33:54I shall, naturally, leave the neighbourhood at once.

0:33:54 > 0:33:57Mr Mazzini, please sit down.

0:33:58 > 0:33:59Oh.

0:34:01 > 0:34:04You have exhibited the most delicate feelings.

0:34:04 > 0:34:07I know nothing of the history to which you refer,

0:34:07 > 0:34:10but I have often felt that the attitude of my husband's family

0:34:10 > 0:34:12has failed to move with the times,

0:34:12 > 0:34:14that they think too much of the rights of nobility

0:34:14 > 0:34:18and too little of its duties. The very honesty of your behaviour

0:34:18 > 0:34:21would appear to me to prove them wrong.

0:34:21 > 0:34:24Was Lord Tennyson far from the mark when he wrote,

0:34:24 > 0:34:26"Kind hearts are more than coronets

0:34:26 > 0:34:29"and simple faith than Norman blood"?

0:34:29 > 0:34:32I hope you will stay to luncheon.

0:34:32 > 0:34:36Oh, in that case, I shall be delighted and honoured.

0:34:36 > 0:34:39'My impersonation of a man of sterling character

0:34:39 > 0:34:42'was such a resounding success that Mrs D'Ascoyne invited me

0:34:42 > 0:34:46'to spend the following Saturday-to-Monday with them.

0:34:47 > 0:34:51'When I returned to the somewhat contrasting atmosphere of Clapham,

0:34:51 > 0:34:53'I found the house in a whirl with preparation for

0:34:53 > 0:34:56'Sibella's wedding to Lionel which was to take place next day.

0:34:56 > 0:35:00'Before going to bed that evening, I wandered into the old nursery

0:35:00 > 0:35:02'to fetch a book I'd left there.'

0:35:10 > 0:35:12Penny for them.

0:35:12 > 0:35:14SADLY: Oh, hello, Louis.

0:35:17 > 0:35:18You're not looking as radiantly happy

0:35:18 > 0:35:21as young females in your situation are supposed to look.

0:35:21 > 0:35:24I was just thinking of all the fun we've had in this room.

0:35:24 > 0:35:28- You and I and Graham. - And Lionel.

0:35:28 > 0:35:30Yes, and Lionel.

0:35:32 > 0:35:36CRYING: Oh, Louis, I don't want to marry Lionel!

0:35:36 > 0:35:38- Why not?- He's so dull!

0:35:40 > 0:35:43I must admit he exhibits the most extraordinary capacity for middle age

0:35:43 > 0:35:46that I've ever encountered in a young man of 24.

0:35:46 > 0:35:50However, it's a bit late in the day to think of that, isn't it?

0:35:50 > 0:35:53I know. That only makes it worse.

0:35:53 > 0:35:56- I always told you you should marry me.- I know.

0:35:57 > 0:35:59That makes it worse too.

0:36:07 > 0:36:09PEOPLE CHATTERING

0:36:14 > 0:36:17You look more lovely today than I've ever seen you.

0:36:20 > 0:36:23You're a lucky man, Lionel. Take my word for it.

0:36:28 > 0:36:31'I could not help feeling that even Sibella's capacity for lying

0:36:31 > 0:36:33'was going to be taxed to the utmost.

0:36:33 > 0:36:36'Time had brought me revenge on Lionel.

0:36:36 > 0:36:38'And as the Italian proverb says,

0:36:38 > 0:36:42' "Revenge is a dish which people of taste prefer to eat cold."

0:36:45 > 0:36:48'The following Saturday, I left London in the middle of the night

0:36:48 > 0:36:50'and reached Henry's house just before dawn.'

0:36:50 > 0:36:52OWL HOOTING

0:36:54 > 0:36:57'It took a mere three minutes to substitute petrol

0:36:57 > 0:37:00'for the paraffin in the darkroom lamp.

0:37:00 > 0:37:03'And I then repaired to a meadow and took a few hours' sleep

0:37:03 > 0:37:06'while awaiting the hour at which I could reasonably arrive at the house.

0:37:07 > 0:37:10'The day dragged by in an agony of suspense for me.

0:37:10 > 0:37:14'Henry took photograph after photograph, but seemed to have

0:37:14 > 0:37:17'no urge whatever to follow it up with a visit to the darkroom.'

0:37:21 > 0:37:22Bravo, Edith!

0:37:22 > 0:37:26'I began to fear that he had suddenly taken the pledge.'

0:37:27 > 0:37:31I think I'll just go and develop these before tea. Care to come?

0:37:31 > 0:37:33I would, indeed, but I have a slight headache. The sun, I think.

0:37:33 > 0:37:36And I'm afraid the chemicals wouldn't improve it.

0:37:36 > 0:37:38Mr Mazzini and I will have tea under the tulip tree.

0:37:38 > 0:37:41I've always found that most beneficial for a headache.

0:37:41 > 0:37:43I'm afraid Henry will think me a poor enthusiast.

0:37:43 > 0:37:47I sometimes think that he is too great a one.

0:37:47 > 0:37:49In a way, I am to blame for it.

0:37:49 > 0:37:51Before we were married, he had few interests.

0:37:51 > 0:37:53He used to spend the greater part of each day at his club.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55SOFT EXPLOSION

0:37:55 > 0:37:56I felt that such a life was unhealthy

0:37:56 > 0:37:59and persuaded him to come and live here in the country.

0:37:59 > 0:38:02I hoped that perhaps he would interest himself

0:38:02 > 0:38:05in the welfare of our tenantry, as I do.

0:38:05 > 0:38:07But he became interested in photography on our honeymoon

0:38:07 > 0:38:11and since then it has become the major preoccupation of his life.

0:38:12 > 0:38:15- Mr Mazzini...- Yes?

0:38:15 > 0:38:18I hope you will forgive my speaking to you on a personal matter,

0:38:18 > 0:38:21but it worries me that Henry should spend so much time on his hobby

0:38:21 > 0:38:23that he has little left for any more useful activity.

0:38:23 > 0:38:25Am I right to let him go on like this?

0:38:25 > 0:38:28'I could hardly point out that Henry now had no time left

0:38:28 > 0:38:32'for any kind of activity, so I continued to discuss his future.'

0:38:32 > 0:38:35He has never shown any wish for a career in politics?

0:38:35 > 0:38:38- None.- Nor any other ambitions?

0:38:38 > 0:38:42One only. To win a prize at the Salon Photography in Brussels.

0:38:42 > 0:38:44What is it?

0:38:44 > 0:38:48Oh, they're just burning some leaves at the bottom of the garden.

0:38:48 > 0:38:50But they can't be at this time of year.

0:38:52 > 0:38:55- Henry!- No. You stay here.

0:38:55 > 0:38:57'Needless to say, I was too late.'

0:38:57 > 0:38:58BELL TOLLING

0:38:58 > 0:39:02'The funeral service was held in the village church at Chalfont,

0:39:02 > 0:39:04'prior to interment in the family vault.

0:39:06 > 0:39:08'Mrs D'Ascoyne, who had discerned in me

0:39:08 > 0:39:11'a man of delicate sensibility and high purpose

0:39:11 > 0:39:15'asked me to accompany her on the cross-country journey.'

0:39:15 > 0:39:17"To everything, there is a season

0:39:17 > 0:39:21"and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

0:39:21 > 0:39:25"A time to be born, and a time to die."

0:39:25 > 0:39:28'The occasion was interesting, in that it provided me

0:39:28 > 0:39:31'with my first sight of the D'Ascoynes en masse.

0:39:31 > 0:39:34'Interesting and somewhat depressing

0:39:34 > 0:39:38'for it emphasised how far I had yet to travel.

0:39:38 > 0:39:39'There was the Duke.

0:39:43 > 0:39:46'There was my employer, Lord Ascoyne D'Ascoyne.

0:39:48 > 0:39:50'There was Admiral Lord Horatio D'Ascoyne.

0:39:53 > 0:39:56'There was General Lord Rufus D'Ascoyne.'

0:39:56 > 0:39:58SNORING

0:39:59 > 0:40:02- 'There was Lady Agatha D'Ascoyne.' - SNORING CONTINUES

0:40:02 > 0:40:03SHUSHING

0:40:05 > 0:40:09'And in the pulpit, talking interminable nonsense

0:40:09 > 0:40:11'the Reverend Lord Henry D'Ascoyne.'

0:40:11 > 0:40:18The life cut short was one rich in achievement and promise

0:40:18 > 0:40:21of service to humanity.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23'The D'Ascoynes certainly appeared to have accorded

0:40:23 > 0:40:25'with the tradition of the landed gentry

0:40:25 > 0:40:29'and sent the fool of the family into the church.'

0:40:30 > 0:40:33Well, goodbye, my dear.

0:40:33 > 0:40:36- Goodbye.- No fretting now.

0:40:36 > 0:40:39After all, one thing to be said, we all have to come to it.

0:40:39 > 0:40:42Great thing, you know, family vault like ours.

0:40:42 > 0:40:44Constant reminder of one's heritage.

0:40:44 > 0:40:46Now, take this new cremation nonsense.

0:40:46 > 0:40:49Who wants to see his nearest and dearest put in an incinerator?

0:40:49 > 0:40:52I think, sir, Mrs D'Ascoyne should leave. The wind is turning cold.

0:40:52 > 0:40:54As Mrs D'Ascoyne thinks best.

0:40:56 > 0:40:59Glad we had Cousin Henry to take the service.

0:40:59 > 0:41:02Boring old ass, but it keeps the thing in the family.

0:41:02 > 0:41:04People getting strange ideas these days.

0:41:04 > 0:41:06Had a fellow write to me not so long ago,

0:41:06 > 0:41:10wanted to bury his mother here from Tooting or somewhere.

0:41:10 > 0:41:12Start letting strangers in, the place will be full up.

0:41:12 > 0:41:15No room for us, eh?

0:41:15 > 0:41:18'I privately promised him that I would make it my business

0:41:18 > 0:41:20'to see there was room for him.'

0:41:25 > 0:41:28Uncle Ethelred is not the most tactful of men.

0:41:28 > 0:41:30I could gladly have struck him.

0:41:30 > 0:41:33Thank you for intervening when you did.

0:41:35 > 0:41:38The house will be so empty

0:41:38 > 0:41:40and yet he will be in it everywhere.

0:41:41 > 0:41:44I find the thought of life there hard to face.

0:41:44 > 0:41:47Must you stay there? A new environment...

0:41:47 > 0:41:49I must,

0:41:49 > 0:41:51for one reason if no other.

0:41:51 > 0:41:53They would say I was running away,

0:41:53 > 0:41:56- that there was truth in all these rumours.- Rumours?

0:41:56 > 0:41:58In the village.

0:41:58 > 0:42:00There's been gossip.

0:42:00 > 0:42:03They say that Henry drank in secret.

0:42:04 > 0:42:07They even say that that was the cause of the accident.

0:42:07 > 0:42:12I'm sure that Henry would never have professed one thing and practised another.

0:42:12 > 0:42:14I, too, am sure.

0:42:15 > 0:42:18Otherwise, I think I could not survive.

0:42:18 > 0:42:21We have a long way to go. Try to sleep a little.

0:42:22 > 0:42:24Sleep does not come easily.

0:42:24 > 0:42:25Please try.

0:42:27 > 0:42:28Allow me.

0:42:32 > 0:42:35'I was conscious that a new obsession was about to join the one

0:42:35 > 0:42:38'that I should wear the coronet of the Duke of Chalfont,

0:42:38 > 0:42:42'that Edith D'Ascoyne should wear that of the duchess beside me.

0:42:42 > 0:42:45'Her dignity of bearing at the worst moments of her grief

0:42:45 > 0:42:48'had impressed me with the feeling that here was a woman

0:42:48 > 0:42:51'whose quality matched her beauty.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53'I resolved to embark upon her courtship

0:42:53 > 0:42:57'as soon as a decent period of mourning should have elapsed.

0:42:57 > 0:43:01'Sibella? Yes, Sibella was pretty enough in her suburban way.

0:43:01 > 0:43:03'And, indeed, there was no reason

0:43:03 > 0:43:05'why we shouldn't continue to meet on friendly terms.

0:43:05 > 0:43:09'But her face would have looked rather out of place under a coronet.'

0:43:11 > 0:43:14That, sir, is a list of bills due for redemption this week.

0:43:14 > 0:43:17I've marked in red those asking for renewal.

0:43:17 > 0:43:21Aitcheson, yes. Pole and Carter, I suppose so.

0:43:21 > 0:43:23Knollis Limited, oh, no.

0:43:23 > 0:43:25Redbank and Holland...

0:43:25 > 0:43:27You have a friend there, have you not?

0:43:27 > 0:43:30An acquaintance. I know Lionel Holland.

0:43:30 > 0:43:32Would you say that he's sound?

0:43:32 > 0:43:34I wouldn't say not, sir.

0:43:34 > 0:43:35Hmm. Thank you.

0:43:41 > 0:43:44- Mazzini.- Yes, sir?

0:43:44 > 0:43:47I've watched your progress here with great care

0:43:47 > 0:43:50and have been gratified to note that it has fully justified my judgement

0:43:50 > 0:43:53in inviting you into the firm. In view of that,

0:43:53 > 0:43:57and in order that you may be able to adopt a style of living

0:43:57 > 0:44:00befitting a member of the D'Ascoyne family,

0:44:00 > 0:44:03I have decided to appoint you my private secretary

0:44:03 > 0:44:07at a salary of £500 per annum.

0:44:07 > 0:44:10- Sir, I cannot begin to... - Oh, please do not try.

0:44:10 > 0:44:14I had intended that my son should occupy the position.

0:44:14 > 0:44:18I can only say that I will try to make my occupancy of it

0:44:18 > 0:44:20worthy of his memory.

0:44:23 > 0:44:25'I left the Halworths' house

0:44:25 > 0:44:28'and took a bachelor apartment in St James's.

0:44:28 > 0:44:31'Clapham no longer held Sibella's presence to compensate me

0:44:31 > 0:44:33'for the tedious journey between the suburbs and the city.'

0:44:33 > 0:44:35DOORBELL CHIMING

0:44:35 > 0:44:40'Anyhow, it would be vastly more convenient for her to visit me here.'

0:44:52 > 0:44:55Now, let me have a look at the beautiful Mrs Holland.

0:44:55 > 0:44:59- No, I think I prefer Miss Halworth.- So do I.

0:45:00 > 0:45:03Louis, it's very wrong of me to visit you here.

0:45:03 > 0:45:06- Why?- A married woman calling on a bachelor?

0:45:07 > 0:45:12A dangerous bachelor in his apartment.

0:45:12 > 0:45:13I? Dangerous?

0:45:15 > 0:45:19These things only become wrong when people know about them.

0:45:19 > 0:45:21This is a very discreet apartment. That's why I chose it.

0:45:21 > 0:45:24So that young women could call on you in safety?

0:45:26 > 0:45:28So that one young woman could.

0:45:29 > 0:45:31How did you know she'd want to?

0:45:31 > 0:45:33I hoped.

0:45:36 > 0:45:39- How did you enjoy your honeymoon? - Not at all.

0:45:41 > 0:45:42Not at all?

0:45:43 > 0:45:44Not at all.

0:45:47 > 0:45:49- And how was Italy? - Oh, impossible!

0:45:49 > 0:45:52Every time I wanted to go shopping, Lionel dragged me off to a church

0:45:52 > 0:45:54or picture gallery.

0:45:54 > 0:45:58- Said he wanted to improve his mind.- He has room to do so.

0:45:58 > 0:46:02I should reprove you for saying unkind things about him

0:46:02 > 0:46:03but I can't.

0:46:05 > 0:46:09Louis, I think I've married the most boring man in London.

0:46:09 > 0:46:11- In England.- In Europe!

0:46:15 > 0:46:19Oh, the Italian men are so handsome,

0:46:19 > 0:46:22but I could never get away from Lionel for a moment.

0:46:23 > 0:46:26But I was forgetting, you're Italian.

0:46:26 > 0:46:27Half.

0:46:33 > 0:46:34Louis...

0:46:35 > 0:46:38I can speak frankly to you?

0:46:40 > 0:46:43Well, if not to me, to whom?

0:46:43 > 0:46:45I shall go mad.

0:46:45 > 0:46:48Already when he touches me, I want to scream.

0:47:02 > 0:47:04What am I doing?

0:47:05 > 0:47:09You know very well. You're playing with fire.

0:47:09 > 0:47:11At least it warms me.

0:47:13 > 0:47:14I must go.

0:47:16 > 0:47:18Lionel's dining at home tonight.

0:47:18 > 0:47:20Where is Lionel dining tomorrow night?

0:47:20 > 0:47:23With some business acquaintances.

0:47:23 > 0:47:26And where are you dining tomorrow night?

0:47:26 > 0:47:27Here?

0:47:27 > 0:47:29Here.

0:47:35 > 0:47:37'Poor little imprisoned bird.

0:47:37 > 0:47:41'Well, she was welcome to come and flutter her wings with me.

0:47:41 > 0:47:44'I could think of many more disagreeable ways of killing time

0:47:44 > 0:47:45'pending the arrival of the moment

0:47:45 > 0:47:48'when the conventional decencies would permit me

0:47:48 > 0:47:50'to make my declaration to Edith.

0:47:51 > 0:47:54'As to the other undertaking, I had not forgotten or forgiven

0:47:54 > 0:47:57'the boredom of the sermon at young Henry's funeral

0:47:57 > 0:48:00'and I decided to promote the Reverend Lord Henry D'Ascoyne

0:48:00 > 0:48:02'to next place on the list.

0:48:02 > 0:48:06'I therefore assumed the garb and character of a colonial bishop

0:48:06 > 0:48:11'spending his vacation making a collection of brass rubbings from country churches.'

0:48:13 > 0:48:15Good evening, my lord.

0:48:16 > 0:48:18'It was, for a moment, a shock to be addressed

0:48:18 > 0:48:21'by my ecclesiastical title, but I recovered quickly.'

0:48:21 > 0:48:22Good evening.

0:48:22 > 0:48:25I was just taking a rubbing of this most interesting brass.

0:48:25 > 0:48:29An ancestress of my dear late wife.

0:48:29 > 0:48:32Allow me to introduce myself.

0:48:32 > 0:48:35Henry D'Ascoyne, rector of this parish.

0:48:35 > 0:48:39Septimus Wilkinson, bishop of Matabeleland.

0:48:40 > 0:48:44I was spending my vacation taking a cycling tour around your beautiful country churches.

0:48:44 > 0:48:49- Ah! Have you noticed our clerestory?- Cle...

0:48:51 > 0:48:53Ah, exquisite!

0:48:53 > 0:48:56- The corbels are very fine.- Hmm.

0:48:56 > 0:48:59Perhaps Your Lordship would permit me to show you

0:48:59 > 0:49:02one or two other things in which we take a pride.

0:49:02 > 0:49:04I should be most interested.

0:49:04 > 0:49:07Our most notable features, of course,

0:49:07 > 0:49:10are the D'Ascoyne memorials.

0:49:10 > 0:49:13Every member of the family

0:49:13 > 0:49:16to a cadet branch of which I have the honour to belong

0:49:16 > 0:49:20is buried here in the family vault.

0:49:21 > 0:49:27Here you will see the first duke and his duchess.

0:49:27 > 0:49:31The dead watching, as it were, over the living.

0:49:32 > 0:49:35The church is exceptionally endowed also

0:49:35 > 0:49:39with items of architectural interest.

0:49:40 > 0:49:43You will note that our chantry

0:49:43 > 0:49:47displays the crocketed and finialed ogee

0:49:47 > 0:49:51which marks it as very early Perpendicular.

0:49:53 > 0:49:56The bosses to the pendant are typical.

0:49:57 > 0:50:00And I always say

0:50:00 > 0:50:03that my west window

0:50:03 > 0:50:07has all the exuberance of Chaucer

0:50:07 > 0:50:12without, happily, any of the concomitant crudities of his period.

0:50:12 > 0:50:14Hmm.

0:50:14 > 0:50:16Now we approach the font.

0:50:17 > 0:50:20'At last he did as I had hoped and invited me to dinner.

0:50:20 > 0:50:24'The Reverend Lord Henry was not one of those newfangled parsons

0:50:24 > 0:50:27'who carry the principles of their vocation uncomfortably into private life.

0:50:27 > 0:50:30'However, he exhibited a polite interest

0:50:30 > 0:50:32'in the progress of the Christian faith in Matabeleland

0:50:32 > 0:50:34'which I was at some difficulty to satisfy.'

0:50:34 > 0:50:37The SPCK have provided us

0:50:37 > 0:50:40with a large number of copies of the Good Book

0:50:40 > 0:50:42translated into Matabele.

0:50:42 > 0:50:45But as none of the natives can read even their own language...

0:50:45 > 0:50:49- You speak Matabele yourself? - Not as a native.

0:50:50 > 0:50:52It would be most interesting

0:50:52 > 0:50:56to hear a sample of the language.

0:50:56 > 0:50:58I'm afraid my Matabele is a little rusty.

0:50:58 > 0:51:00Oh, come, my lord.

0:51:02 > 0:51:07Daniel cast into the lions' den, for example.

0:51:10 > 0:51:12SPEAKING GIBBERISH

0:51:18 > 0:51:22It is a colloquial rendering, of course.

0:51:22 > 0:51:23Most interesting.

0:51:25 > 0:51:28My lord, the port is with you.

0:51:28 > 0:51:29Oh.

0:51:32 > 0:51:35- How do you find the wine? - Admirable.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38- Courban '69.- Oh.

0:51:38 > 0:51:40No finer year, in my view.

0:51:43 > 0:51:47My doctor, though, is of a different opinion.

0:51:47 > 0:51:49And what does he favour?

0:51:50 > 0:51:52Abstinence.

0:51:52 > 0:51:55LAUGHING

0:51:55 > 0:51:57Would you care for a cigar?

0:51:58 > 0:51:59Thank you.

0:52:26 > 0:52:27Yes.

0:52:29 > 0:52:34He's continually warning me about the state of my arteries.

0:52:39 > 0:52:41But I say to him,

0:52:41 > 0:52:44"What possible harm can there be

0:52:44 > 0:52:47"in one glass of an evening...

0:52:49 > 0:52:51"..or even two?"

0:52:51 > 0:52:53What harm, indeed.

0:52:54 > 0:52:58- You do not condemn me, then? - Not in the least.

0:52:59 > 0:53:01If I may say so,

0:53:01 > 0:53:05without disrespect to my superiors...

0:53:06 > 0:53:10..your visit has brought me something

0:53:10 > 0:53:14which I could not expect from any churchman in this country.

0:53:46 > 0:53:50'I surmised, correctly, as it proved that Lord Henry's doctor

0:53:50 > 0:53:53'would assume that he had succumbed to a surfeit of port

0:53:53 > 0:53:56'and would politely ascribe death to a heart attack.

0:53:56 > 0:53:59'On my return to London, I decided to proceed methodically

0:53:59 > 0:54:02'with the elimination of the remaining minor obstacles.

0:54:02 > 0:54:07'Lady Agatha D'Ascoyne was a pioneer in the campaign for women's suffrage.'

0:54:07 > 0:54:09GLASS SHATTERING

0:54:12 > 0:54:15'With the inconvenient consequence that her public appearances

0:54:15 > 0:54:19'were invariably made under the watchful eyes of the Metropolitan Police.

0:54:19 > 0:54:21'When she was not making public appearances,

0:54:21 > 0:54:24'she was in prison and still more inaccessible.

0:54:24 > 0:54:28'In fact, before I could learn of a favourable opportunity,

0:54:28 > 0:54:30'I had to join the movement myself.

0:54:30 > 0:54:33'Secret plans had been made for Lady Agatha

0:54:33 > 0:54:35'to celebrate her latest release from Holloway

0:54:35 > 0:54:38'by a shower of leaflets over Whitehall and the West End.'

0:54:38 > 0:54:40PEOPLE CLAMOURING

0:55:10 > 0:55:12'I shot an arrow in the air...

0:55:13 > 0:55:16'..she fell to Earth in Berkeley Square.

0:55:17 > 0:55:21'Admiral Lord Horatio D'Ascoyne presented a more difficult problem.

0:55:22 > 0:55:24'He scarcely ever set foot ashore...

0:55:25 > 0:55:30'..and I was beginning to feel this task was beyond even my ingenuity.

0:55:32 > 0:55:35'When he was conveniently involved in a naval disaster

0:55:35 > 0:55:38'which arose from a combination of natural obstinacy

0:55:38 > 0:55:40- 'and a certain confusion of mind.' - WIND HOWLING

0:55:40 > 0:55:42'Unfortunate in one of his rank.'

0:55:43 > 0:55:45Bring her to port.

0:55:47 > 0:55:51- Surely you mean starboard, sir. - Port!

0:55:51 > 0:55:52HORN BLARING

0:55:56 > 0:55:58CRASHING

0:55:59 > 0:56:02'Both ships sank almost immediately.

0:56:02 > 0:56:05'Though, fortunately, all hands were saved, save one.

0:56:07 > 0:56:10'Admiral Lord Horatio, obstinate to the last

0:56:10 > 0:56:12'insisted on going down with his ship.

0:56:16 > 0:56:19'General Lord Rufus D'Ascoyne, on the other hand,

0:56:19 > 0:56:22'who never tired of demonstrating how he had fought

0:56:22 > 0:56:24'the most calamitous campaign of the South African War

0:56:24 > 0:56:26'was a fairly easy proposition.'

0:56:26 > 0:56:32At that moment, the concealed enemy emerged from behind the kopje.

0:56:32 > 0:56:37I held our guns' fire until we could see the whites of their eyes.

0:56:37 > 0:56:40Then I gave the order. "Fire!"

0:56:42 > 0:56:43Boom, boom, boom.

0:56:44 > 0:56:48'It seemed appropriate that he who had lived amidst the cannon's roar

0:56:48 > 0:56:50'should die explosively.'

0:56:50 > 0:56:52'I therefore concealed in a pot of caviar

0:56:52 > 0:56:55'a simple but powerful homemade bomb

0:56:55 > 0:56:59'and, through the post, I sent the caviar to the general.'

0:56:59 > 0:57:02HORATIO: I pretended to be deceived by the feint

0:57:02 > 0:57:04and sent our horse to meet it.

0:57:04 > 0:57:09At that moment, the concealed enemy emerged from behind the kopje.

0:57:09 > 0:57:14I held our guns' fire till we could see the whites of their eyes.

0:57:19 > 0:57:23Used to get a lot of this stuff in the Crimea.

0:57:23 > 0:57:25One thing the Russkies do really well.

0:57:29 > 0:57:31'Not an atom of him was left.'

0:57:35 > 0:57:37One could almost believe there was a curse

0:57:37 > 0:57:39on our unfortunate family, Mazzini.

0:57:39 > 0:57:41Indeed, sir, one could.

0:57:41 > 0:57:44I don't know if you realise how close this series of tragedies

0:57:44 > 0:57:46has brought you to the succession.

0:57:46 > 0:57:50- I had not actually given the matter any thought, sir.- It's time you did.

0:57:50 > 0:57:54Do you not realise that you are heir presumptive to the dukedom?

0:57:54 > 0:57:56That is to say, in the event of the present duke dying without issue,

0:57:56 > 0:58:00I alone intervene between you and the title.

0:58:00 > 0:58:02And I am an old man.

0:58:02 > 0:58:06I've never really recovered from the first of these calamities.

0:58:06 > 0:58:08You mean I might become Duke of Chalfont?

0:58:08 > 0:58:10I mean that you almost certainly will.

0:58:11 > 0:58:13In view of that, I feel it would be more fitting

0:58:13 > 0:58:16that you should cease to be an employee here.

0:58:16 > 0:58:19- Oh.- And become instead my partner.

0:58:21 > 0:58:23I am most deeply grateful and honoured.

0:58:23 > 0:58:27If you'll come round here, I will make everything very clear to you.

0:58:36 > 0:58:39Uh, had she lived, your mother, of course,

0:58:39 > 0:58:43- would have succeeded before you. - 'One of my first tasks as partner

0:58:43 > 0:58:46'was to interview Lionel, who came cap...

0:58:46 > 0:58:48'Or rather, silk hat in hand.'

0:58:49 > 0:58:53To save time, I presume you've called to ask for renewal of your bill?

0:58:53 > 0:58:56The fact is, old boy, we sold short

0:58:56 > 0:58:59and the market hasn't dropped as we expected.

0:58:59 > 0:59:02I feel entitled to point out that we here regard our function

0:59:02 > 0:59:05as the encouragement of constructive investment

0:59:05 > 0:59:08and not the financing of mere gambling transactions.

0:59:08 > 0:59:09Now...

0:59:10 > 0:59:13'It would have delighted me to refuse him.

0:59:13 > 0:59:15'However, a bankrupt Lionel could hardly have continued

0:59:15 > 0:59:18'to support Sibella in her extravagances

0:59:18 > 0:59:20'and I had no wish to do so myself.'

0:59:20 > 0:59:25Very well. We will renew at 3½ percent.

0:59:25 > 0:59:27'I judged that the time was now ripe to make a move

0:59:27 > 0:59:29'in the matter of Edith D'Ascoyne.'

0:59:29 > 0:59:32It's becoming cold. Shall we go in?

0:59:32 > 0:59:34I know why you shivered just now.

0:59:34 > 0:59:37It was not because you were cold.

0:59:37 > 0:59:38No.

0:59:39 > 0:59:41I couldn't help remembering.

0:59:41 > 0:59:44I know. But do you try to forget?

0:59:45 > 0:59:48- I may sound harsh, but believe me...- Please.

0:59:48 > 0:59:50Not there.

0:59:52 > 0:59:55Because it was Henry's chair.

0:59:55 > 0:59:57It hasn't been used since that day.

0:59:57 > 0:59:59Nothing of his.

0:59:59 > 1:00:04Everything is just as he left it, his writing desk, his clothes.

1:00:04 > 1:00:07I cannot bear that it should be otherwise.

1:00:09 > 1:00:11You want this house to be a shrine.

1:00:11 > 1:00:15You're wrong. Shrines are not meant to house the living.

1:00:16 > 1:00:21I have always respected you, your principles, your courage,

1:00:21 > 1:00:23above any woman I've ever met.

1:00:23 > 1:00:26It is your duty to yourself and to others,

1:00:26 > 1:00:28to Henry even,

1:00:28 > 1:00:31to live again in the present, in the future.

1:00:32 > 1:00:34What future is there for me?

1:00:40 > 1:00:43I am now going to say something presumptuous.

1:00:43 > 1:00:46You must order me from your house if you wish.

1:00:46 > 1:00:48It is this...

1:00:48 > 1:00:50If you should ever feel that

1:00:50 > 1:00:53the constant support of a devoted admirer

1:00:53 > 1:00:55would be of assistance to you,

1:00:55 > 1:00:58I should be most honoured if you would permit me

1:00:58 > 1:01:00to offer you my hand in marriage.

1:01:02 > 1:01:04Mr Mazzini...

1:01:10 > 1:01:12This is a shock.

1:01:14 > 1:01:16I'm most touched.

1:01:16 > 1:01:19Most grateful,

1:01:19 > 1:01:23but I could not consider even the possibility of remarrying.

1:01:24 > 1:01:27I have spoken too boldly and too soon.

1:01:28 > 1:01:32Please regard what I have said merely as something to draw upon

1:01:32 > 1:01:35should you ever feel so inclined.

1:01:35 > 1:01:37'Sibella was waiting for me when I got back.

1:01:37 > 1:01:40'I was pleased to see her, for while I never admired Edith

1:01:40 > 1:01:42'as much as when I was with Sibella,

1:01:42 > 1:01:45'I never longed for Sibella as much as when I was with Edith.'

1:01:45 > 1:01:46DOOR OPENS

1:01:47 > 1:01:50I'm afraid I'm late. Have you been bored?

1:01:50 > 1:01:52No.

1:01:52 > 1:01:54I've been looking into the fire and thinking.

1:01:54 > 1:01:56- What about?- Oh.

1:01:56 > 1:02:00How we used to roast chestnuts round the other fire

1:02:00 > 1:02:02and what a lot has happened since.

1:02:02 > 1:02:04Such as?

1:02:04 > 1:02:08How you told me not to marry Lionel because you might be a duke one day

1:02:08 > 1:02:10and how I laughed at you.

1:02:10 > 1:02:13And how I married Lionel

1:02:13 > 1:02:16and now you very nearly are a duke.

1:02:17 > 1:02:19We're much better off as we are, you and I.

1:02:19 > 1:02:23It's all very well for you to say that. You're not married to Lionel.

1:02:23 > 1:02:25We see each other when we want to.

1:02:25 > 1:02:28We're not obliged to see each other when we don't want to.

1:02:28 > 1:02:31We don't see each other as often as I'd like to.

1:02:31 > 1:02:34- You've been away the whole weekend. - I had to go.

1:02:34 > 1:02:36- Where?- To see Mrs D'Ascoyne,

1:02:36 > 1:02:39the widow of that cousin of mine who was killed.

1:02:39 > 1:02:42All your cousins seem to get killed. I really wouldn't be

1:02:42 > 1:02:45in the least surprised if you'd murdered them all.

1:02:46 > 1:02:48- Oh.- How clumsy of me.

1:02:59 > 1:03:03- Whatever made you say that? - Just silliness.

1:03:03 > 1:03:05Well, if you promise not to tell anyone,

1:03:05 > 1:03:08I'll let you in to my guilty secret. I DID murder them all.

1:03:08 > 1:03:10CHUCKLES

1:03:10 > 1:03:12I've suspected it for a long time.

1:03:13 > 1:03:15- What's she like?- Who?

1:03:15 > 1:03:20- Mrs D'Ascoyne. - Oh, she's tall, slender...

1:03:20 > 1:03:23- Beautiful?- Yes, I suppose some people would call her beautiful.

1:03:23 > 1:03:24Would you?

1:03:24 > 1:03:28I suppose so. I never really thought about that.

1:03:28 > 1:03:31What would you say if she asked you about me?

1:03:39 > 1:03:43I'd say that you were a perfect combination of imperfections.

1:03:43 > 1:03:46I'd say that your nose was just a little too short,

1:03:46 > 1:03:49your mouth just a little too wide,

1:03:49 > 1:03:52but that yours was a face that a man could see in his dreams

1:03:52 > 1:03:55for the whole of his life.

1:03:55 > 1:03:58I'd say that you were vain, selfish,

1:03:58 > 1:04:01cruel, deceitful.

1:04:02 > 1:04:05I'd say that you were adorable.

1:04:05 > 1:04:08I'd say that you were Sibella.

1:04:09 > 1:04:11What a pretty speech.

1:04:11 > 1:04:13I mean it.

1:04:14 > 1:04:16Come and say it to me again.

1:04:21 > 1:04:24I'd say your nose was just a little too short,

1:04:24 > 1:04:28and your mouth, yes, your mouth just a little too wide.

1:04:36 > 1:04:39'Shortly afterwards, my employer had a stroke.

1:04:39 > 1:04:40'There was little that could be done

1:04:40 > 1:04:43and the doctor gave him a month, at the most, to live.

1:04:43 > 1:04:46'I was glad, after all his kindness to me

1:04:46 > 1:04:48'that I should not have to kill the old man.

1:04:48 > 1:04:52'Soon the only obstacle between me and my inheritance

1:04:52 > 1:04:54'would be the Duke himself.

1:04:54 > 1:04:56'I could lay no plan for disposing of him

1:04:56 > 1:05:00'as the life he led within those great stone walls was a closed book to me.

1:05:00 > 1:05:03'I was gloomily examining the problem for the hundredth time

1:05:03 > 1:05:07'as I awaited one day the expected arrival of Sibella at my apartments.'

1:05:07 > 1:05:08DOORBELL CHIMING

1:05:14 > 1:05:17- Good afternoon, Mr Mazzini. - Mrs D'Ascoyne.

1:05:17 > 1:05:19I was passing through St James's

1:05:19 > 1:05:22and thought I would take the opportunity to call on you.

1:05:25 > 1:05:27Was that wise? Discreet, I mean?

1:05:27 > 1:05:31There are some conventions which must be governed by individual circumstance.

1:05:31 > 1:05:34Surely it is safe for a woman to visit a man of your reputation.

1:05:34 > 1:05:36It is of your reputation that I'm thinking.

1:05:36 > 1:05:39Without being inhospitable, I would be happier if your visit were not a long one.

1:05:39 > 1:05:42I appreciate the scrupulousness of your motives.

1:05:42 > 1:05:44I have, anyhow, only one important matter to speak of.

1:05:44 > 1:05:46That is?

1:05:46 > 1:05:49I have thought a great deal about what you said at our last meeting

1:05:49 > 1:05:53and I have tried to think what Henry's wishes would be.

1:05:53 > 1:05:56I remember he said to me once,

1:05:56 > 1:05:59"You have too much good in you, Edith, for one man.

1:05:59 > 1:06:02"I sometimes wish that others could have a share of it."

1:06:04 > 1:06:06I have reconsidered the offer you made to me.

1:06:06 > 1:06:09Thank you again for it, and accept it gladly.

1:06:10 > 1:06:12You rob me of words.

1:06:12 > 1:06:16I think, however, we should make no announcement for three months, at least.

1:06:16 > 1:06:18As you think best.

1:06:18 > 1:06:20In these new circumstances,

1:06:20 > 1:06:22I think it more than ever desirable that your unconventional,

1:06:22 > 1:06:25though in its purpose delightful visit should be cut short.

1:06:25 > 1:06:30If your attention as a husband is equal of your consideration as a friend,

1:06:30 > 1:06:33I shall have made a most fortunate decision.

1:06:40 > 1:06:42Do you not think, though, that perhaps Uncle Ethelred,

1:06:42 > 1:06:46as head of the family, should be told at once?

1:06:46 > 1:06:49Perhaps so. Yes, I'll write to him.

1:06:49 > 1:06:51Goodbye, Louis.

1:06:51 > 1:06:52Goodbye, Edith.

1:06:54 > 1:06:57You leave behind you the happiest man in London.

1:07:05 > 1:07:06'This was not a piece of news

1:07:06 > 1:07:10'which I was looking forward to breaking to Sibella.

1:07:10 > 1:07:12'She had no rights in the matter,

1:07:12 > 1:07:15'but women have a disconcerting ability to make scenes out of nothing

1:07:15 > 1:07:19'and to prove themselves injured when they themselves are at fault.'

1:07:19 > 1:07:20DOORBELL CHIMING

1:07:20 > 1:07:24'Anyhow, I had three months' grace before I need face that storm.'

1:07:35 > 1:07:38Have you taken to using attar of roses?

1:07:38 > 1:07:41- No. Why? - Thought I could smell it.

1:07:42 > 1:07:46I met such a beautiful woman on the stairs just now.

1:07:46 > 1:07:48I expect that would be Mrs D'Ascoyne.

1:07:48 > 1:07:50- What was she doing here? - She called in to see me.

1:07:50 > 1:07:53- What about? - Business. Family business.

1:07:53 > 1:07:55Let me get you a glass of sherry.

1:07:59 > 1:08:02'A day or so later, I received a letter from Lionel.

1:08:02 > 1:08:06'He requested an interview with me at his house on a matter of some delicacy.

1:08:06 > 1:08:09'I was somewhat perturbed, for nine times out of ten

1:08:09 > 1:08:11'what is referred to as a matter of some delicacy

1:08:11 > 1:08:15'is, in point of fact, one of extreme indelicacy.

1:08:15 > 1:08:19'Two days later, I made the tedious journey to Bayswater.

1:08:19 > 1:08:22'It was typical of Lionel that he should live on the wrong side of the park.

1:08:22 > 1:08:25SLURRING: Hello, old boy. Have a drink.

1:08:25 > 1:08:28No, thank you. Never during the day.

1:08:28 > 1:08:32You don't mind if I do? Keep out the cold.

1:08:32 > 1:08:34I was about to remark on the warmth of the day.

1:08:34 > 1:08:37- Just a joke, old boy. - Ah, yes.

1:08:37 > 1:08:41- Sit down, old boy.- No, thank you. I would rather stand.

1:08:43 > 1:08:46A warm day, isn't it? For the time of the year, I mean.

1:08:46 > 1:08:49Distinctly. It's also a very busy day.

1:08:49 > 1:08:52May we proceed to the matter about which you wished to see me?

1:08:52 > 1:08:56Right. A matter of some delicacy, actually, old boy.

1:08:57 > 1:09:01But I said to myself, "Louis is a sport and a man of the world.

1:09:01 > 1:09:04- "Always been a sport." - Thank you.

1:09:04 > 1:09:09Always admired the sporting way in which you took to Sibella marrying me and not you.

1:09:09 > 1:09:11Some fellows would have taken it very differently.

1:09:11 > 1:09:14But "May the best man win," you said.

1:09:14 > 1:09:16And when I won, you behaved like a gentleman.

1:09:16 > 1:09:21So I thought as you being keen on Sibella at one time

1:09:21 > 1:09:25and you and I are old friends, I... I'd ask you to help us.

1:09:25 > 1:09:29- Help you?- I told you some time back business hasn't been going so well.

1:09:30 > 1:09:34Since then, it's gone worse. I'm bankrupt.

1:09:34 > 1:09:39So I say to myself, "Why not talk to my old pal, Louis Mazzini,

1:09:39 > 1:09:44"who we used to have such jolly times with round the old nursery fire

1:09:44 > 1:09:47- "roasting chestnuts."- I'm afraid your memory is deceiving you.

1:09:47 > 1:09:52By no stretch of imagination could you and I be described as ever having been "pals".

1:09:52 > 1:09:54If I remember correctly, we detested each other cordially

1:09:54 > 1:09:56from the first day we met,

1:09:56 > 1:09:58with a detestation which increased with our years.

1:09:58 > 1:10:02Always thought of you as a pal. Always have done.

1:10:02 > 1:10:04That's why I said to myself...

1:10:04 > 1:10:07It's only fair to warn you that any further expense of breath

1:10:07 > 1:10:09on this subject would be a waste.

1:10:09 > 1:10:11You know what you're doing?

1:10:11 > 1:10:14- Condemning me to death. - What do you mean?

1:10:14 > 1:10:18Only one way out for me, do away with myself.

1:10:18 > 1:10:20If you knew how absurd these histrionics sounded...

1:10:20 > 1:10:24I'm insured. At least the little woman will be provided for.

1:10:24 > 1:10:27- Oh, don't be ridiculous. - Louis, I appeal to you.

1:10:27 > 1:10:31Not for my sake, but for the sake of the little woman.

1:10:31 > 1:10:33Please rise from that absurd position.

1:10:33 > 1:10:35SNIFFLING

1:10:48 > 1:10:51All I can say is I think you're a cad.

1:10:51 > 1:10:53A selfish cad.

1:10:55 > 1:10:58Let me remind you of a little not-so-ancient history.

1:10:58 > 1:11:01When I was a draper's assistant and you a rich father's son,

1:11:01 > 1:11:02you showed me no kindness.

1:11:02 > 1:11:06Now our positions are reversed, and you come whining to me for favours.

1:11:06 > 1:11:09Draper's assistant. That's right.

1:11:09 > 1:11:12Rotten little counterjumper. That's all you are.

1:11:12 > 1:11:14Very high and mighty now,

1:11:14 > 1:11:18but your mother married an Italian organ-grinder.

1:11:20 > 1:11:22- Stand up.- Huh?

1:11:22 > 1:11:24I said stand up.

1:11:25 > 1:11:28I will not tolerate hearing my mother's name on your coarse tongue.

1:11:36 > 1:11:40If you take my advice, you'll go and put your head under a cold tap.

1:11:40 > 1:11:43I refuse to demean myself by fighting with a drunken oaf.

1:11:55 > 1:11:58'There seemed no point in prolonging this vulgar brawl

1:11:58 > 1:12:00'so I returned to my apartment.'

1:12:07 > 1:12:09'I took a bath and decided to relax for half an hour

1:12:09 > 1:12:12'and efface this disagreeable scene from my memory.'

1:12:12 > 1:12:14DOORBELL CHIMING

1:12:14 > 1:12:16'I was not allowed to relax for long.'

1:12:21 > 1:12:22Sibella.

1:12:25 > 1:12:29Louis, I'm sorry to worry you when you must be so busy

1:12:29 > 1:12:31but I have a piece of important news.

1:12:31 > 1:12:33Bad news.

1:12:33 > 1:12:35CRYING: I thought you ought to know it at once.

1:12:42 > 1:12:44Lionel has found out about us.

1:12:45 > 1:12:48About me coming here.

1:12:48 > 1:12:49- Really?- Yes.

1:12:49 > 1:12:50Oh.

1:12:52 > 1:12:55I had the most dreadful scene with him last night.

1:12:56 > 1:13:00Well, I suppose even Lionel isn't stupid enough to be deceived forever.

1:13:00 > 1:13:02You won't take it so calmly when you hear.

1:13:03 > 1:13:05He's going to start divorce proceedings.

1:13:05 > 1:13:07How very unsophisticated of him.

1:13:09 > 1:13:13There's only one possible way out that I can see.

1:13:15 > 1:13:19- And that is? - Lionel is still in love with me.

1:13:19 > 1:13:22My happiness is all he cares about.

1:13:22 > 1:13:25He might do the gentlemanly thing and let me divorce him.

1:13:26 > 1:13:27If?

1:13:28 > 1:13:31If I were in a position to explain to him

1:13:31 > 1:13:34that otherwise he will be jeopardising the social position

1:13:34 > 1:13:36not only of the future Duke,

1:13:36 > 1:13:39but also the future Duchess of Chalfont.

1:13:41 > 1:13:42I see.

1:13:48 > 1:13:50You're a clever little thing, Sibella,

1:13:50 > 1:13:53- but not quite clever enough. - What do you mean?

1:13:53 > 1:13:55I mean that not only do I know that you're blackmailing me,

1:13:55 > 1:13:57an ugly word, but the only appropriate one,

1:13:57 > 1:14:00but I also know that you're bluffing me.

1:14:00 > 1:14:02Call my bluff and see.

1:14:02 > 1:14:03I will.

1:14:07 > 1:14:09Let me explain.

1:14:09 > 1:14:11It must have seemed to you that you hold a very strong hand.

1:14:11 > 1:14:14But... A very important "but", it so happens

1:14:14 > 1:14:18that I hold a card which you did not even know to be in the pack.

1:14:18 > 1:14:19Who's bluffing now?

1:14:19 > 1:14:22It so happens that I was with Lionel less than an hour ago.

1:14:22 > 1:14:26And it was transparently clear from his demeanour and conversation

1:14:26 > 1:14:29that he had not the faintest suspicion that you and I had any relationship

1:14:29 > 1:14:33other than that of, as he would probably put it, old pals

1:14:33 > 1:14:38who used to roast chestnuts together round the jolly old nursery fire.

1:14:38 > 1:14:41So, while thanking you for the honour that you've done me,

1:14:41 > 1:14:44I must decline your offer because I have other arrangements

1:14:44 > 1:14:47- which make it impossible for me to accept it.- Namely?

1:14:47 > 1:14:51I'm shortly going to announce my engagement to Mrs D'Ascoyne.

1:14:59 > 1:15:02May I say that I think you've behaved despicably?

1:15:05 > 1:15:09Has it ever occurred to you, Sibella, that we serve each other right, you and I?

1:15:14 > 1:15:17Would it be asking too much of your manners to escort me to the door?

1:15:25 > 1:15:27'I had suspected that to confide our secret to the Duke

1:15:27 > 1:15:30'might be an adroit manoeuvre, and I was proved correct

1:15:30 > 1:15:35'for it produced an invitation for Edith and me to spend a few days at the castle.

1:15:36 > 1:15:40'I must confess that I could not suppress an agreeable sensation of triumph

1:15:40 > 1:15:42'as I approached the castle gateway

1:15:42 > 1:15:46'in circumstances so different from those in which I had last done so.

1:15:46 > 1:15:49'It was just an informal little house party.

1:15:49 > 1:15:53'Our fellow guests were Lady Redpole and her daughter Maud

1:15:53 > 1:15:56'who most suitably resembled nothing so much as a red poll cow

1:15:56 > 1:15:59'and had little more conversational ability.'

1:15:59 > 1:16:01- Did you go to the opera this season?- No.

1:16:04 > 1:16:08'In the afternoon, Ethelred invited me to inspect the castle.

1:16:08 > 1:16:10'It was pleasant to stand on the battlements

1:16:10 > 1:16:15'and know that the acres which stretched as far as the eye could see would soon be mine.

1:16:15 > 1:16:19'And it amused me to cover much the same ground as that of my sixpenny tour.

1:16:20 > 1:16:23'I had never been in a building so lavishly equipped

1:16:23 > 1:16:25'with the instruments of violent death.'

1:16:25 > 1:16:27Feel the weight of that.

1:16:27 > 1:16:30Our ancestors must have been fine men, Louis.

1:16:32 > 1:16:34'They seemed, however, ill-adapted

1:16:34 > 1:16:38'to the discreet requirements of 20th-century homicide.

1:16:38 > 1:16:41'And the end of the day found my host still intact

1:16:41 > 1:16:43'and myself still without a plan.'

1:16:50 > 1:16:52Beautiful woman, Edith.

1:16:52 > 1:16:54You're a lucky fellow, Louis.

1:16:54 > 1:16:56I never cease to be conscious of that.

1:16:56 > 1:16:59- Thank you. - What do you think of Maud?

1:16:59 > 1:17:01A charming girl, though perhaps at times

1:17:01 > 1:17:03her conversation is a little lacking in sparkle.

1:17:03 > 1:17:06Dullest woman I ever met in my life.

1:17:08 > 1:17:10Plain too.

1:17:10 > 1:17:12But good breeding stock.

1:17:15 > 1:17:18Good breeding stock, the Redpoles.

1:17:18 > 1:17:20And they litter a very high proportion of boys.

1:17:22 > 1:17:24Do I gather you to mean...

1:17:24 > 1:17:27Spoke to old Lady Redpole this afternoon.

1:17:27 > 1:17:29Only too glad to get the girl off her hands.

1:17:29 > 1:17:31My congratulations.

1:17:33 > 1:17:35Duty to the family, really.

1:17:35 > 1:17:38And when does the union take place?

1:17:38 > 1:17:40Very soon. I'm not growing any younger.

1:17:40 > 1:17:44Might not get a son the first time. Quiet wedding, I thought.

1:17:44 > 1:17:47Maud's hardly the type for St Margaret's.

1:17:47 > 1:17:51We shall honeymoon on the Riviera and then go on to Italy afterwards.

1:17:51 > 1:17:54No sense inflicting her on one's friends.

1:17:55 > 1:17:58When she's got a family, that'll keep her out of the way.

1:18:00 > 1:18:03'This news threw me into such distress of mind

1:18:03 > 1:18:05'that had I had poison in my possession

1:18:05 > 1:18:08'I would probably have administered it to Ethelred there and then

1:18:08 > 1:18:10'and chanced the consequent inquiries.

1:18:12 > 1:18:15'One thing was clear, If I did not succeed in disposing of him

1:18:15 > 1:18:18'during this present visit to the castle

1:18:18 > 1:18:21'I was likely to see the ruin of my whole campaign.'

1:18:24 > 1:18:26My best wishes for a successful outcome.

1:18:28 > 1:18:31'The next morning, I went out shooting with Ethelred

1:18:31 > 1:18:33'or rather, to watch Ethelred shooting for my principles

1:18:33 > 1:18:36'will not allow me to take a direct part in blood sports.'

1:18:36 > 1:18:39- Been round the traps this morning, Hoskins?- Not yet, Your Grace.

1:18:39 > 1:18:41Sounds as if we've bagged one there.

1:18:41 > 1:18:44Ah. Been losing so much game lately,

1:18:44 > 1:18:46we've started setting the mantraps again.

1:18:55 > 1:18:59Hoskins is now going to thrash you. Then he'll let you go.

1:18:59 > 1:19:02Let this be a lesson to you not to poach on my land.

1:19:06 > 1:19:08BEATING

1:19:12 > 1:19:14That'll do.

1:19:23 > 1:19:24Keep moving them around, Hoskins,

1:19:24 > 1:19:27- or they'll tell each other where they are.- Yes, Your Grace.

1:19:29 > 1:19:32- I thought mantraps were illegal. - They are.

1:19:32 > 1:19:34What happens if he tells the police?

1:19:34 > 1:19:37He comes up before the bench for poaching, gets six months in jail.

1:19:37 > 1:19:41If he keeps his mouth shut, he just gets a few days in bed.

1:19:41 > 1:19:43Which would you choose?

1:19:48 > 1:19:51Only way to deal with these ruffians, I assure you.

1:19:51 > 1:19:55Oh. I must have dropped my cigarette case back there. I'll catch you up.

1:20:12 > 1:20:14- Find it?- Yes, thanks.

1:20:14 > 1:20:18Might have another walk round this afternoon, if you feel like it.

1:20:18 > 1:20:21That would be most pleasant. 'After luncheon,

1:20:21 > 1:20:24'we went out to massacre a few more unfortunate birds.'

1:20:25 > 1:20:27- Listen.- What is it?

1:20:27 > 1:20:30I thought I heard something, like someone running through the bracken.

1:20:30 > 1:20:32Another poaching ruffian! Come on!

1:20:36 > 1:20:39There was someone here. Look.

1:20:40 > 1:20:42MANTRAP CLOSING Blast!

1:20:42 > 1:20:45Louis, get me out of this. Hurry up, man.

1:20:49 > 1:20:52- Have you gone mad? - Be quiet, Ethelred.

1:20:52 > 1:20:54I want to talk to you for a minute.

1:20:54 > 1:20:57If you make a noise, I shall blow your head off at once.

1:20:59 > 1:21:01By the time anyone has heard the shot

1:21:01 > 1:21:04I shall be running back toward the castle, shouting for help.

1:21:05 > 1:21:08I shall say that you stepped on the trap

1:21:08 > 1:21:11and that your gun went off accidentally as it fell.

1:21:11 > 1:21:12So be quiet.

1:21:13 > 1:21:16To spare you as much pain as possible,

1:21:16 > 1:21:18I'll be brief.

1:21:22 > 1:21:24When I've finished, I shall kill you.

1:21:26 > 1:21:28You'll be the sixth D'Ascoyne that I've killed.

1:21:28 > 1:21:29You want to know why?

1:21:31 > 1:21:34In return for what the D'Ascoynes did to my mother.

1:21:34 > 1:21:37Because she married for love

1:21:37 > 1:21:40instead of for rank or money or land,

1:21:40 > 1:21:44they condemned her to a life of poverty and slavery

1:21:44 > 1:21:46in a world with which they had not equipped her to deal.

1:21:46 > 1:21:49You yourself refused to grant her dying wish

1:21:49 > 1:21:51which was to be buried here at Chalfont.

1:21:51 > 1:21:55When I saw her poor little coffin slide underground,

1:21:55 > 1:21:59saw her exiled in death as she'd been in life,

1:21:59 > 1:22:03I swore to have my revenge on your intolerable pride.

1:22:05 > 1:22:09That revenge I am just about to complete.

1:22:12 > 1:22:15It's clear that you are insane.

1:22:15 > 1:22:18- Give me that gun at once.- No.

1:22:20 > 1:22:25From here, I think, the wound should look consistent with the story that I shall tell.

1:22:28 > 1:22:30BIRDS SQUAWKING

1:22:34 > 1:22:37Help! Help!

1:22:37 > 1:22:39Help!

1:22:39 > 1:22:40CHURCH BELLS TOLLING

1:22:40 > 1:22:43'And so Ethelred, Eighth Duke of Chalfont,

1:22:43 > 1:22:46'duly came to his place in the family vault.

1:22:51 > 1:22:54'There were few D'Ascoynes left to mourn him. My employer,

1:22:54 > 1:22:57'who was Ninth Duke of Chalfont for the shortest possible period,

1:22:57 > 1:23:01'having expired of shock on hearing that he had succeeded to the title.

1:23:03 > 1:23:07'And so, I became the 10th Duke of Chalfont.

1:23:10 > 1:23:14'Fortunately, the Ninth Duke had found time before he expired

1:23:14 > 1:23:17'to make a will bequeathing to me his interests in the business.'

1:23:20 > 1:23:21You may remove that.

1:23:29 > 1:23:33'A day or two later, an affecting little feudal ceremony took place

1:23:33 > 1:23:35'to welcome me into residence at the castle.'

1:23:35 > 1:23:38And I promise you that my first consideration,

1:23:38 > 1:23:43and that of Mrs D'Ascoyne, who has done me the honour to consent to be my bride,

1:23:43 > 1:23:47will be the welfare of the estate and of the people who live on it.

1:23:47 > 1:23:49God bless you all.

1:23:49 > 1:23:51ALL CHEERING

1:23:56 > 1:23:58MAN: Long live His Grace!

1:23:58 > 1:24:00WOMAN: Long live His Grace.

1:24:06 > 1:24:09Pennyman, Your Grace, from Sprockett's Farm.

1:24:09 > 1:24:11Mrs Pennyman.

1:24:11 > 1:24:13My son, Tom, from Sprockett's Farm.

1:24:13 > 1:24:16Mr Wyvold, from Sprockett's Farm.

1:24:17 > 1:24:18Sprockett's Farm?

1:24:20 > 1:24:22No, Your Grace. From Scotland Yard.

1:24:25 > 1:24:27Scotland Yard?

1:24:27 > 1:24:29A matter of some delicacy.

1:24:31 > 1:24:32INAUDIBLE

1:24:34 > 1:24:36Follow me, please.

1:24:36 > 1:24:40'The blow was so sudden that I found it hard to collect my thoughts.

1:24:41 > 1:24:44'Which of them could it be?

1:24:44 > 1:24:48'Young Ascoyne? Henry? Ethelred?

1:24:48 > 1:24:51'The parson? The general?

1:24:51 > 1:24:53'Lady Agatha?

1:24:53 > 1:24:55'Or could it be all of them?'

1:25:00 > 1:25:04- Now.- You are, I take it, His Grace, the Duke of Chalfont?

1:25:04 > 1:25:07- I am. - I am Detective Inspector Burgoyne

1:25:07 > 1:25:10of the Criminal Investigation Department.

1:25:10 > 1:25:14- And I hold a warrant for your arrest on a charge of murder.- Murder?

1:25:14 > 1:25:17- Of murdering Mr Lionel Holland at... - Murdering whom?

1:25:17 > 1:25:22Mr Lionel Holland at number 242 Connaught Square, Bayswater

1:25:22 > 1:25:24on the 17th of October last.

1:25:26 > 1:25:28ALL CLAMOURING

1:25:34 > 1:25:37'Utterly bewildered, I tried to fathom what series of events

1:25:37 > 1:25:41'could conceivably have led to this not-very-amusing irony.

1:25:41 > 1:25:43'I could only suppose that Lionel had actually carried out

1:25:43 > 1:25:46'that drunken threat of suicide.

1:25:46 > 1:25:49'But how then had the blame fallen on me?

1:25:49 > 1:25:52'Time alone, and the trial, would reveal the answer.

1:25:52 > 1:25:56'Seeing no reason to forego any of the available privileges of my rank...

1:26:00 > 1:26:03'..I exercised my right to be tried before the House of Lords.'

1:26:03 > 1:26:08Louis D'Ascoyne Mazzini, Duke of Chalfont,

1:26:08 > 1:26:11you, as a peer of England, are indicted for murder.

1:26:11 > 1:26:13How say you, Your Grace?

1:26:13 > 1:26:17Are you guilty of the felony with which you are charged or not guilty?

1:26:17 > 1:26:19- Not guilty. - How will you be tried?

1:26:21 > 1:26:26- By God and my peers.- God send Your Grace a good deliverance.

1:26:26 > 1:26:31It shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

1:26:31 > 1:26:33so help me God.

1:26:33 > 1:26:36Mrs Holland, will you tell Their Lordships in your own words

1:26:36 > 1:26:39the substance of the conversation you had with your husband

1:26:39 > 1:26:41the evening before his death?

1:26:42 > 1:26:46He told me that Louis... the prisoner,

1:26:46 > 1:26:49was coming to see him the next day on a rather delicate matter.

1:26:49 > 1:26:51Did he indicate what that matter was?

1:26:53 > 1:26:56He had discovered that the prisoner and I had been...

1:26:58 > 1:26:59Had been on terms of intimacy?

1:27:01 > 1:27:03- Yes. - And what was his attitude?

1:27:04 > 1:27:07He felt that the correct thing to do was to tell him to his face

1:27:07 > 1:27:10that he intended to start proceedings for divorce.

1:27:10 > 1:27:12From your knowledge of the prisoner

1:27:12 > 1:27:14how would you expect him to receive that news?

1:27:16 > 1:27:19I should expect him to be very angry.

1:27:19 > 1:27:23Now he was heir to a dukedom, he had no more use for me.

1:27:23 > 1:27:26I see. He was trying to discard you.

1:27:26 > 1:27:27Yes.

1:27:27 > 1:27:31Mrs Holland, I apologise for submitting you to this ordeal

1:27:31 > 1:27:35but will you tell Their Lordships how you found your husband's body?

1:27:37 > 1:27:40I came back about 4:30.

1:27:40 > 1:27:42SOBBING

1:27:42 > 1:27:46Their Lordships have no objection to the witness being seated.

1:27:50 > 1:27:51Yes, Mrs Holland?

1:27:53 > 1:27:56I came back about 4:30.

1:27:56 > 1:27:59I went into my husband's study.

1:27:59 > 1:28:02He was lying on the floor

1:28:02 > 1:28:05with a dagger stuck in his chest.

1:28:05 > 1:28:07One last question, Mrs Holland.

1:28:07 > 1:28:10Had your husband ever, at any time, threatened suicide?

1:28:11 > 1:28:14- Never. - Thank you, Mrs Holland.

1:28:17 > 1:28:19My client craves Their Lordships' permission

1:28:19 > 1:28:22to cross-examine the witness himself.

1:28:22 > 1:28:24Their Lordships grant their permission.

1:28:27 > 1:28:31Mrs Holland, you understand the meaning of being on oath?

1:28:31 > 1:28:33Of course.

1:28:35 > 1:28:38You realise a life may depend upon the truthfulness of your evidence?

1:28:40 > 1:28:41Yes.

1:28:43 > 1:28:46I put it to you that your story of your conversation with your husband

1:28:46 > 1:28:50- on the night before his death is a complete fabrication.- It is not.

1:28:51 > 1:28:53I put it to you that your husband committed suicide.

1:28:53 > 1:28:56He would never have done that without leaving a message for me.

1:28:56 > 1:28:58Can you swear that he did not?

1:28:59 > 1:29:03The police searched the room very thoroughly.

1:29:03 > 1:29:04They didn't find anything.

1:29:06 > 1:29:10I suggest that your evidence is a tissue of lies dictated by motives of revenge.

1:29:15 > 1:29:17- CRYING:- It is not.

1:29:17 > 1:29:19It is not.

1:29:19 > 1:29:23I presume that the prisoner has some purpose in these submissions

1:29:23 > 1:29:25other than that of distressing the witness.

1:29:25 > 1:29:28My purpose, my lord, is to determine the truth.

1:29:28 > 1:29:31That, Your Grace, is the whole purpose of this assembly.

1:29:34 > 1:29:37..the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

1:29:41 > 1:29:44You're Edith D'Ascoyne Mazzini, Duchess of Chalfont?

1:29:44 > 1:29:45I am.

1:29:45 > 1:29:49When and where did you become the wife of the accused?

1:29:49 > 1:29:51Yesterday morning, in Pentonville Prison.

1:29:51 > 1:29:53ALL MURMURING

1:29:53 > 1:29:56I wanted to publish irrevocably before the whole world

1:29:56 > 1:29:58my faith in his innocence.

1:30:00 > 1:30:03I wanted to show by my marriage

1:30:03 > 1:30:05that though he was led astray, as I believe

1:30:05 > 1:30:08by that innate kindliness and courtesy of his

1:30:08 > 1:30:11which made it so hard for him to rebuff the advances of a woman,

1:30:11 > 1:30:13I nevertheless regard him as a man

1:30:13 > 1:30:16to whom I can happily entrust the remainder of my life.

1:30:16 > 1:30:19I am not alone in these opinions of him.

1:30:19 > 1:30:20My late husband, Henry,

1:30:20 > 1:30:23and his late Uncle Ethelred, the Eighth Duke,

1:30:23 > 1:30:26both unfortunately unable to testify today...

1:30:27 > 1:30:31These and other members of the D'Ascoyne family, had they been alive

1:30:31 > 1:30:35would, I know, have echoed every word that I have said.

1:30:35 > 1:30:36Thank you, Your Grace.

1:30:38 > 1:30:40The deceased was a client of the banking house

1:30:40 > 1:30:43- of which you are chairman and managing director.- He was.

1:30:43 > 1:30:45In the normal course of business transactions,

1:30:45 > 1:30:48- he would have come to see you at your office.- Yes.

1:30:48 > 1:30:51- Instead of which, he asked you to go to his house.- Yes.

1:30:51 > 1:30:55- He invited you to his house to discuss business.- Yes.

1:30:55 > 1:30:57And you ask Their Lordships to believe that?

1:30:57 > 1:30:59Yes.

1:30:59 > 1:31:01In the course of this... business discussion

1:31:01 > 1:31:05he burst into tears, fell on his knees and threatened suicide.

1:31:05 > 1:31:08- Yes.- Is that usual in business discussions?

1:31:08 > 1:31:11Not usual. No. But it happened on this occasion.

1:31:11 > 1:31:14- Yes.- And you ask Their Lordships to believe that?

1:31:14 > 1:31:16Yes.

1:31:16 > 1:31:18Then this, er, business discussion became so heated

1:31:18 > 1:31:22that blows were exchanged and he made a murderous attack on you.

1:31:22 > 1:31:23Yes.

1:31:23 > 1:31:26- Is that usual in business discussion?- No.

1:31:26 > 1:31:29- But it happened on this occasion? - Yes.

1:31:29 > 1:31:34- And you ask Their Lordships to believe that?- Yes.

1:31:34 > 1:31:36Very well. You've heard of cases

1:31:36 > 1:31:40- of a jealous husband and his wife's lover coming to blows?- Yes.

1:31:40 > 1:31:44- Frequently?- It is one of the cliches of the cheaper kind of fiction.

1:31:44 > 1:31:46ALL LAUGHING

1:31:48 > 1:31:51I put it to you that, in this case, it happened not in fiction,

1:31:51 > 1:31:53but in fact.

1:31:53 > 1:31:56- I put it to you that it did not. - I put it to you further

1:31:56 > 1:32:00that being unaware at that time of your future wife's forgiving nature

1:32:00 > 1:32:02you assumed that if you were cited in a divorce suit

1:32:02 > 1:32:06it would ruin your chances of making this advantageous match

1:32:06 > 1:32:08with a wealthy and beautiful woman.

1:32:09 > 1:32:11No. Not at all.

1:32:11 > 1:32:15Still, you were proposing to discard Mrs Holland.

1:32:15 > 1:32:17No.

1:32:17 > 1:32:20Even though you were about to be married to the other lady?

1:32:27 > 1:32:30I must confess to feeling quite intrigued as to their decision.

1:32:39 > 1:32:44My lords, the question for Your Lordships is this...

1:32:45 > 1:32:47Is the prisoner guilty

1:32:47 > 1:32:51of the felony whereof he stands indicted

1:32:51 > 1:32:53or not guilty?

1:32:56 > 1:32:58Guilty, upon mine honour.

1:32:58 > 1:33:01Guilty, upon mine honour.

1:33:01 > 1:33:03Guilty, upon mine honour.

1:33:11 > 1:33:15I considered it both seemly and touching that my dear wife should visit me,

1:33:15 > 1:33:18as she did this morning, to make her farewells.

1:33:19 > 1:33:22Your arrival, on the other hand, appears to me unseemly

1:33:22 > 1:33:25and tasteless in the extreme.

1:33:25 > 1:33:27I couldn't bear my last sight of you

1:33:27 > 1:33:31to be that look of hatred you gave me as you went out from the trial.

1:33:31 > 1:33:36In view of the fact that your evidence had put the rope round my neck

1:33:36 > 1:33:38you could hardly expect a glance of warm affection.

1:33:38 > 1:33:42- Isn't there any hope? - What hope could there be?

1:33:43 > 1:33:45I was only thinking.

1:33:45 > 1:33:48That question you asked at the trial

1:33:48 > 1:33:51about Lionel leaving a suicide note...

1:33:52 > 1:33:55Suppose he did? Suppose that one were found

1:33:55 > 1:33:59even now, this last evening?

1:33:59 > 1:34:02- It would savour of a miracle. - Miracles can happen.

1:34:03 > 1:34:05Miracles could happen.

1:34:09 > 1:34:11I see.

1:34:12 > 1:34:15Oh, strange, isn't it, how things turn out?

1:34:15 > 1:34:18Now, if you had married me, instead of Edith...

1:34:18 > 1:34:22Or you had married me, instead of Lionel.

1:34:22 > 1:34:23He would still be alive,

1:34:23 > 1:34:26and you wouldn't be going to be hanged tomorrow morning.

1:34:27 > 1:34:30Unless, of course, you've murdered somebody else.

1:34:34 > 1:34:37- All of which is rather beside the point, isn't it?- Is it?

1:34:39 > 1:34:42Do you remember in the old days

1:34:42 > 1:34:45how we used to play eeny, meeny, miny, mo?

1:34:45 > 1:34:49- Catch a nigger by his toe.- If he hollers, let him go. Out goes he.

1:34:51 > 1:34:55Quite a lot of little niggers have gone out, haven't they, one way or another?

1:34:55 > 1:34:58And every one of them a D'Ascoyne.

1:35:02 > 1:35:05We do seem to be a very short-lived family.

1:35:05 > 1:35:09Of course, Edith is only a D'Ascoyne by marriage

1:35:09 > 1:35:11so I suppose her prospects are better.

1:35:14 > 1:35:16Except for a miracle.

1:35:16 > 1:35:19Like the other one we were talking about.

1:35:19 > 1:35:22'So there it was. She would find the suicide note

1:35:22 > 1:35:25'if I, in return, would murder Edith.'

1:35:26 > 1:35:29So we now have two miracles in mind, do we?

1:35:29 > 1:35:30Yes.

1:35:30 > 1:35:34I wonder if they are, in any way, dependent on each other?

1:35:35 > 1:35:37I suppose perhaps they might be.

1:35:39 > 1:35:41What do you think?

1:35:43 > 1:35:44Time's up.

1:35:49 > 1:35:50What do you think?

1:35:52 > 1:35:56Poor Edith. I'm afraid all this is going to take years off her life.

1:35:59 > 1:36:02- Au revoir, Louis.- Au revoir.

1:36:03 > 1:36:05'What could I do but accept?

1:36:05 > 1:36:08'After all, I could always decide afterwards

1:36:08 > 1:36:11'which of these two little niggers would finally have to go.

1:36:11 > 1:36:14'Dear Edith.

1:36:14 > 1:36:16'Captivating Sibella.

1:36:16 > 1:36:20'How different they were, and how well I knew each of them.

1:36:20 > 1:36:22'Or so I thought.

1:36:22 > 1:36:25'But the night has gone by and nothing has happened.

1:36:25 > 1:36:28'It is now but a few minutes to 8:00.

1:36:28 > 1:36:32'And I realise that Sibella came yesterday merely to tantalise,

1:36:32 > 1:36:35'to raise my hopes in order to dash them again.

1:36:35 > 1:36:38'How unlike me not to have guessed.

1:36:38 > 1:36:41'But, after all, how very like Sibella.'

1:36:49 > 1:36:51FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

1:37:05 > 1:37:06Already?

1:37:08 > 1:37:10I'll tell you who time gallops withal.

1:37:10 > 1:37:11"With a thief to the gallows,

1:37:11 > 1:37:16"for though he tread as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there."

1:37:17 > 1:37:20- If you have any last instructions... - I think, Colonel,

1:37:20 > 1:37:23it only remains to thank you for your many kindnesses.

1:37:23 > 1:37:25Won't you introduce our friend?

1:37:27 > 1:37:30Mr Elliott, His Grace, the Duke of Chalfont.

1:37:32 > 1:37:34Good morning, Your Grace.

1:37:34 > 1:37:37This won't take a moment.

1:37:37 > 1:37:40First, if Your Grace will pardon the liberty

1:37:40 > 1:37:43I should like to read some verses

1:37:43 > 1:37:46composed by myself for use on these melancholy occasions.

1:37:48 > 1:37:50- Your Grace permits? - With pleasure.

1:37:55 > 1:37:58"My friend, reflect..."

1:37:58 > 1:38:02Oh. Pardon.

1:38:02 > 1:38:04"Your Grace, reflect.

1:38:04 > 1:38:10"While yet of mortal breath, some span however short, is left to thee

1:38:10 > 1:38:14"how brief the total span twixt birth and death

1:38:14 > 1:38:19"how long thy coming tenure of eternity.

1:38:21 > 1:38:24"Your Grace, prepare..."

1:38:24 > 1:38:25FOOTSTEPS RUNNING

1:38:28 > 1:38:30Colonel.

1:38:34 > 1:38:38Your Grace, I am happy to inform you that a telephone communication

1:38:38 > 1:38:40has just been received from the Home Office.

1:38:40 > 1:38:43A note has been found, undoubtedly in Mr Holland's handwriting

1:38:43 > 1:38:45expressing his intention to commit suicide.

1:38:45 > 1:38:47It is a miracle.

1:38:47 > 1:38:51Yes. It is like a miracle.

1:38:51 > 1:38:53Pending receipt of further instructions,

1:38:53 > 1:38:57I will try to make you reasonably comfortable in my quarters.

1:38:57 > 1:39:00- Good morning. - Good morning, Your Grace, sir.

1:39:07 > 1:39:11I assure you, I have never been more happy to be relieved of an official duty.

1:39:12 > 1:39:16Poor Elliott. If he had not insisted on reading that abominable poem,

1:39:16 > 1:39:21he would have had me neatly dangling at the end of his rope before the news arrived.

1:39:21 > 1:39:23He was so looking forward to it.

1:39:23 > 1:39:25I understand, Your Grace, from the men on duty outside

1:39:25 > 1:39:27that a large crowd awaits your leaving.

1:39:27 > 1:39:29Having robbed them of the pleasure of my death

1:39:29 > 1:39:31the least I can do is to let them see me alive.

1:39:31 > 1:39:35Including, by the way, not only Her Grace, the duchess,

1:39:35 > 1:39:36but also Mrs Holland.

1:39:36 > 1:39:38Oh.

1:39:38 > 1:39:40How does the song go?

1:39:40 > 1:39:44"How happy could I be with either were t'other dear charmer away."

1:39:44 > 1:39:47- Well, goodbye. - Goodbye, Your Grace.

1:39:51 > 1:39:53PEOPLE CHEERING

1:40:18 > 1:40:21' "How happy could I be with either

1:40:21 > 1:40:23' "were t'other dear charmer away." '

1:40:25 > 1:40:28- Your Grace.- Yes?

1:40:28 > 1:40:32I represent the magazine Titbits by whom I'm commissioned to approach you

1:40:32 > 1:40:36- for the publication rights of your memoirs.- My memoirs?

1:40:37 > 1:40:39My memoirs.

1:40:41 > 1:40:43My memoirs.