Old Dogs

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0:00:31 > 0:00:34MUSIC: "You've Been a Friend To Me" by Bryan Adams

0:02:13 > 0:02:15This walk is exactly what you need.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18You've been coiled up like a spring. I don't even know who you are any more.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20It's a big meeting, I'd think you'd be a little nervous.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23I don't get nervous, Dan. I get excited.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25Please don't tell the story.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27You're a people person, Charlie, that's wonderful,

0:02:27 > 0:02:30but in business meetings you tell personal items from my life,

0:02:30 > 0:02:33- and it embarrasses me. - Girls, girls, girls!

0:02:33 > 0:02:36DOG GRUNTS Hey! 10 miles!

0:02:36 > 0:02:39GROANS I'm sorry, Lucky.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42I think he's too old for sprints. I can hear his legs clicking.

0:02:42 > 0:02:43Those are my knees.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Do you really think I tell that story for my own amusement?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48I do it because it's a sales tool.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Charlie, let's win this account on our pitch.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52It's sports marketing. You need an edge.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- I don't want to be the edge. - Hey, mister! Little help!

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Sure thing, guys!

0:02:58 > 0:03:00BOY GRUNTS Whoa!

0:03:00 > 0:03:02BOY: Ow! Oh! Oh! Oh!

0:03:02 > 0:03:05- Why did you do that? - My bad! Sorry!

0:03:05 > 0:03:08- I didn't mean to. - You're a monster!

0:03:08 > 0:03:09DAN: I'm sorry!

0:03:09 > 0:03:11You're allergic to anything under 4 feet. You're a mess.

0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Promise you won't tell the story. - Fine. I won't tell the story.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17CHARLIE: OK, you guys want to hear the greatest Dan Rayburn story ever?

0:03:17 > 0:03:19- DAN: No, don't. - Please. Come on, Danny.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22All right. 7 years ago, Dan's divorce had just come through

0:03:22 > 0:03:24and his ex-wife had left his heart in tatters.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27And his bank account drained. Tell them that.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30SPEAKING JAPANESE He was taking it pretty well.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32That's good. You're taking it like a man!

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Stiff upper lip! Getting smart!

0:03:36 > 0:03:38- What? - Oh, God!

0:03:38 > 0:03:40CHARLIE: People say I saved my partner's life that day.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42WAILING

0:03:42 > 0:03:44So many people get divorced. WHINES

0:03:44 > 0:03:47And neither one of you wanted kids. Now that seems like a stroke of genius!

0:03:47 > 0:03:50But that didn't console him. I had to act. I had to do something.

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Mr Good Time is going to teach you how to live! Yeah!

0:03:54 > 0:03:57- Why are there two pieces of luggage? - Oh, just a little jaunt.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00- Nothing too wild. DAN SCREAMS

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Hey, Mr Good Times. You said we'd come to Miami, we did.

0:04:05 > 0:04:06Can we go home now?

0:04:06 > 0:04:08SIREN SOUNDS Whoa!

0:04:08 > 0:04:10- Whoa. - Yeah!

0:04:10 > 0:04:11Does this drink come with a diving board?

0:04:11 > 0:04:13It's insane! Just a sip, I think.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16So as a best friend, I felt compelled

0:04:16 > 0:04:19to give him a gentle reminder of what it was like to be free.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- I want it to say: "free man!" - SLURRING: Free man.

0:04:22 > 0:04:23Big letters, right across his chest.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25"Free man!" Comprende?

0:04:26 > 0:04:29EXCLAIMS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE Oh. Good night, nurse.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31DAN SCREAMING CROWD CHEERING

0:04:31 > 0:04:33CHARLIE: I could have sworn that guy spoke English.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36It was supposed to say "free man." SCREAMING

0:04:36 > 0:04:38CROWD CHANTING Fremont, Fremont, Fremont...

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Free man!

0:04:43 > 0:04:44SCREAMING

0:04:44 > 0:04:49CHUCKLING It's funny, guys. Come on. They love it.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Then the unexpected happened.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Look at all the babes. Don't look, don't look. Now look.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56CHARLIE: 14 hours after signing his divorce papers,

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Dan met Vicki, the girl of his dreams.

0:04:59 > 0:05:00- Whoa! - Whoa.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02CHARLIE: Girl in white, 11 o'clock.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04- Yeah, but... - Oh, give her the Queen's wave.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07- No, the other Queen. - Oh. Hello.

0:05:07 > 0:05:08CHARLIE: She was travelling with a friend.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11I thought maybe the friend was a magician or a jazz dancer,

0:05:11 > 0:05:12because of the way she was moving her hands.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14T urns out she's a hand model.

0:05:14 > 0:05:15SPEAKS JAPANESE

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Hand model. - A hand model?

0:05:17 > 0:05:18They model with their hands.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21CHARLIE: So, within minutes, Dan is back to his old self.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25No, scratch that. He's better than his old self.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Charlie, look at these pictures!

0:05:26 > 0:05:29My whole life I've never taken a good picture.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32DAN AND VICKI: # No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be #

0:05:32 > 0:05:33CHARLIE: I'd never seen him so free, OK?

0:05:33 > 0:05:35I mean, so impulsive. He was a changed man.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37CRACKING GRUNTING

0:05:37 > 0:05:40CHARLIE: Or maybe not so changed.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42It's hard to explain to a guy who's never had an impulsive moment

0:05:42 > 0:05:45in his life there's two kinds of impulsives.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48The good kind, OK, but this is plain stupid!

0:05:49 > 0:05:51That was so romantic.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58But when he woke up, he remembered, "I was just married 14 painful years

0:05:58 > 0:06:00- and I've gone and done it again!" - Whoops.

0:06:00 > 0:06:05CHARLIE: To a woman that he barely knows. His "soul mate."

0:06:05 > 0:06:06SPEAKING JAPANESE

0:06:06 > 0:06:09-...soul mate. - ALL: Soul mate!

0:06:09 > 0:06:11MEN LAUGHING

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Soul mate!

0:06:18 > 0:06:20They never laugh this much.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24So, a few hours later, my buddy here, my hombre,

0:06:24 > 0:06:28is the only guy I know that's been divorced twice in a 24-hour period.

0:06:28 > 0:06:32Now, that's a true story. SPEAKING JAPANESE

0:06:32 > 0:06:36ALL CHANTING Fremont! Fremont! Fremont!

0:06:39 > 0:06:43- It was supposed to say "free man." - But it didn't. It said "Fremont."

0:06:43 > 0:06:46It's a big mistake. It's on his chest for ever.

0:06:46 > 0:06:51I don't really think that story honours the feelings I had for her.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54No, I'm sorry. Dan, people love that story.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58So just get up there and do your thing. Because I killed.

0:06:58 > 0:06:59Banzai!

0:06:59 > 0:07:01SHOUTING Ixnay on the banzai.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03CHARLIE GROANS DAN: Nishamura Media Group

0:07:03 > 0:07:06entering the US sports market is a huge deal.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08Now, I know you've met with larger groups,

0:07:08 > 0:07:13but I'm about to show you why working with a boutique firm

0:07:13 > 0:07:17run by two seasoned pros is a smart move for you.

0:07:17 > 0:07:18MEN CHEERING

0:07:18 > 0:07:2147 million dollars over 5 years.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Man, you better shape up on your Japanese,

0:07:23 > 0:07:25cos you're going to Tokyo, baby!

0:07:25 > 0:07:27Thank you. This is the kind of opportunity I've been looking for.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31And you will not be sorry. In college my nickname was "GT".

0:07:31 > 0:07:34- That's "Go To." You go to me. - What's the matter with you?

0:07:34 > 0:07:37Biggest deal of our lives isn't exciting enough for you?

0:07:37 > 0:07:40So it's a done deal now? There are a few small details.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42Like next week when Nishamura and his son come to town

0:07:42 > 0:07:43we have to win them over on the golf course.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45- That'll be easy. - I'm great at golf.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Then, two weeks from now, we have to make a presentation

0:07:47 > 0:07:49- to their executive board of directors. - Done.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51All right, sunshine. What's really wrong with you?

0:07:52 > 0:07:54- I was not divorced twice, OK? - CHUCKLING

0:07:54 > 0:07:56One of them was an annulment.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Look at that face! - Charlie, don't!

0:07:59 > 0:08:00Look at this, Craig. You know what this face is?

0:08:00 > 0:08:02- The face of a winner. - This face is willing to hibernate

0:08:02 > 0:08:05for six months to make the best deal he could possibly make.

0:08:05 > 0:08:09And I don't care who knows it. A toast to my best buddy and business partner,

0:08:09 > 0:08:10- Dan Rayburn! Whoo! - Whoo!

0:08:10 > 0:08:12- Arigato! - ALL CHEERING

0:08:19 > 0:08:20It all comes down to this.

0:08:20 > 0:08:22- I don't think so. - 3, 2, 1.

0:08:22 > 0:08:23This one's the shooter.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25- CHARLIE: Let's see it. - CRAIG: Golden moment.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- Oh. Uh-oh! - Oh, you're just sinkin' em.

0:08:28 > 0:08:29Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31CHARLIE: Let's hit it. There you go.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- CRAIG: It's a leaking dog. - Yeah.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36That's a... That's a neat trick. How old is that dog?

0:08:36 > 0:08:39I lost count. Vet said it was a record.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41You might want to put a diaper on him, or underwear.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43DOG GROWLS

0:08:43 > 0:08:45- Yo. - Hey. Where you been?

0:08:45 > 0:08:48Japanese real estate agents. Some apartments for Craig-san.

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Thank you. I just want to find something authentic.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52I've been getting so immersed in Japanese culture,

0:08:52 > 0:08:54by the time I hit Tokyo, they're going to think I'm part Japanese.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56They'll be like, "Who is this local?

0:08:56 > 0:09:00I don't care if you stay on the top of Mount Fuji. Just bring home the yen.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02- This can't be. - What do you got?

0:09:03 > 0:09:05- Vicki. - Vicki who?

0:09:05 > 0:09:07South Beach Vicki? She's in town.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11- She wants to see me. Today. - She just called you out of the blue?

0:09:12 > 0:09:14- No. - Dan? Dan?

0:09:14 > 0:09:17You know last Christmas when I moved in to the condo?

0:09:17 > 0:09:19I was feeling really lonely.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21And maybe I wrote a 7-to-10-page single-spaced letter.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23- Oh, Dan. - GROANS

0:09:23 > 0:09:25You've been using your feelings for this woman

0:09:25 > 0:09:27to avoid your life for seven years.

0:09:27 > 0:09:31I set you up in the most exclusive adult-only condo.

0:09:31 > 0:09:32You've never been to theme nights.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35You never once went to the Sunday morning schmooze and schmeer.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37You know, maybe she hasn't moved on either.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39- Well, you can't do it. - Why?

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Because we're in the middle of our biggest deal ever,

0:09:41 > 0:09:42and you don't have the time.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45She lives in Vermont. It's perfect. Start of a long-distance relationship.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47You get six to nine months of the spa weekends,

0:09:47 > 0:09:50late-night phone calls. I'd still have my days free to work.

0:09:50 > 0:09:51She wants to meet me at Grand Central Station,

0:09:51 > 0:09:53and I don't know what I'm supposed to wear.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55It's not formal, obviously, it's a train station,

0:09:55 > 0:09:57but do I wear a sport coat, or coat and tie...

0:09:57 > 0:09:59You can wear a sports coat, but you're not going like that.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01- Why? - Cos you look like an albino.

0:10:01 > 0:10:02groans

0:10:03 > 0:10:07This is his first time, so you can see his complexion is ghost-like.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09- What do you think of the El Tropical? - Perfect beginner's tan.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11- Oh, great. - Yeah. Let's go!

0:10:11 > 0:10:13- You all set? - Oh, yeah.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17- I'm ready. Alrighty, let's do this. - Um... so...

0:10:17 > 0:10:21Face forward, press the red button, spray lasts 10 seconds.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24Keep your eyes closed and call me on the intercom when you're done.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26OK.

0:10:27 > 0:10:32Eyes closed. She wanted a golden God, she's going to get one.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34Whoa, um...

0:10:34 > 0:10:36DOORS LOCK HAL?

0:10:36 > 0:10:40I definitely think that the tan line accentuates the look, don't you?

0:10:40 > 0:10:41- Uh-huh. Sexy. - Mmm.

0:10:41 > 0:10:45I'm going to start now. WHISTLING

0:10:48 > 0:10:51MACHINE HUMMING

0:10:51 > 0:10:52Whoa!

0:10:52 > 0:10:55MUSIC: Mambo No 5 by Perez Prado and His Orchestra

0:10:57 > 0:10:58SHRIEKS

0:10:58 > 0:11:011... Whoa!

0:11:01 > 0:11:052. 3. 4. 5. 6.

0:11:05 > 0:11:087. 8. 9. OK!

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Hello!

0:11:11 > 0:11:12BUZZER SOUNDING

0:11:13 > 0:11:15I'm finished!

0:11:16 > 0:11:17Be there in a sec.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20So, do you, like, really know Shaq?

0:11:20 > 0:11:22- Whose numbers are those? - Oh, my gosh.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29BUZZING We have a problem here!

0:11:29 > 0:11:33- Shaq! Yeah, Charlie. - It's not turning off!

0:11:33 > 0:11:36- Tell him your name. - Shaq? Hi, it's Kelly.

0:11:36 > 0:11:37Anybody out there?

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Do you remember me? I went to one of your games.

0:11:39 > 0:11:40Help!

0:11:40 > 0:11:43Yeah. I don't know who you were playing against, but...

0:11:43 > 0:11:45I have an emergency here!

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Help! GROANS

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Just relax. Be there in a sec.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Help!

0:11:52 > 0:11:54- A tanning emergency? - Newbies.

0:11:56 > 0:11:57Keep the heat kind of medium...

0:11:59 > 0:12:00Throw a little bit of butter, and...

0:12:18 > 0:12:21PA: Westbound local now arriving on track two.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Westbound local now arriving.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE

0:12:31 > 0:12:32I'm from Hoboken.

0:12:36 > 0:12:37BOTH SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE

0:12:40 > 0:12:41What am I, the United Nations? This is crazy.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Look, Mom, it's an Oompa-Loompa.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46I'm an Oompa-Loompa. I can't do this.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49- Excuse me... - Dan?

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Vicki?

0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Wow! - Hey!

0:12:54 > 0:12:56- I mean, hi! - Hi.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Look at you! You're so tan.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Yeah. Yeah.

0:13:01 > 0:13:05Boca. Volleyball, and... Look at you. You're hot!

0:13:05 > 0:13:07- Thanks, Tan. - Dan.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09- I mean, Dan. - I'm Tan Dan.

0:13:09 > 0:13:10BOTH LAUGHING

0:13:10 > 0:13:12I got us a table upstairs.

0:13:12 > 0:13:13- Let's eat. Yeah. - Shall we?

0:13:19 > 0:13:21- BOTH: Thank you. - Oh!

0:13:21 > 0:13:22BOTH CHUCKLING

0:13:25 > 0:13:28I really don't know where to start, Dan. But...

0:13:30 > 0:13:31I need to share it with...

0:13:31 > 0:13:34Stop... in the name of love.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40Look, seven years ago, we made magic happen.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42But it was bad timing.

0:13:42 > 0:13:47Now, we'll take it super slow, there'll be no outside distractions.

0:13:47 > 0:13:50Just us. I, um...

0:13:50 > 0:13:54I'm ready to put these back together. All I need is your half.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56- I'm going to jail. - What?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58Tomorrow. Two weeks for trespassing.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00- Why? - A chemical company wanted

0:14:00 > 0:14:04to build a plant that would've drained into a stream near my house.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06So I kind of chained myself to a bulldozer

0:14:06 > 0:14:08and burned the blueprints to the plant.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Look at you. You're a political activist.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Well, I had ulterior motives.

0:14:13 > 0:14:16- You're... Career politician? - My kids.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Zach and Emily play near that stream.

0:14:19 > 0:14:20Kids.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23You know, I just never thought that...

0:14:23 > 0:14:27You... you'd be attached. But...

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- Actually, I'm a single mom. - EXCLAIMS

0:14:30 > 0:14:31You kidder!

0:14:31 > 0:14:33- Twins! - Ouch!

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Yeah. They think I'm going to a spa named Westford Farms.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39- Whoops! - BOTH CHUCKLE

0:14:39 > 0:14:41You remember my best friend, Jenna, from South Beach.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43- Oh, yeah. - Yeah, the hand model.

0:14:43 > 0:14:45They're staying with her. She's like family.

0:14:45 > 0:14:48You got so much going on, girl. It just blows my mind.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51That's good, because there's one other small detail.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53- What is it? - KIDS: Daddy!

0:14:53 > 0:14:56- HEART BEATING - SALSA MUSIC PLAYS

0:14:56 > 0:14:58EXPLOSION SOUND EFFECTS

0:14:58 > 0:15:00You guys weren't supposed to be back for 45 minutes!

0:15:00 > 0:15:02I'm... Da... Da...

0:15:02 > 0:15:04Oh! Hey, look who's panicking again.

0:15:04 > 0:15:05LAUGHING

0:15:11 > 0:15:13He does not look good. I'm calling the paramedics.

0:15:13 > 0:15:15No! I'm OK.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17GROANS

0:15:17 > 0:15:19Guys, would you give us a minute? Please.

0:15:31 > 0:15:36Dan, I got your letter six months ago, and I won't lie, it threw me for a loop.

0:15:36 > 0:15:39I was completely ready to go it alone.

0:15:40 > 0:15:41But here was this...

0:15:43 > 0:15:4812-page, single-spaced letter from the father of my kids,

0:15:48 > 0:15:51and suddenly I had to ask if I was being selfish.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54Then three weeks ago, we were in Friday's for dinner,

0:15:54 > 0:15:56and Zach had to go to the bathroom, and as I was taking him

0:15:56 > 0:16:00to the ladies' room for the umpteenth time...

0:16:00 > 0:16:02I realised, he's never even been in a men's room.

0:16:02 > 0:16:07- Really? - My kids are seven. They have a father.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10So I thought, maybe it's time they got to know who he is.

0:16:11 > 0:16:16I have to confess, I've always been a little awkward around children.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22But I guess, if they're your own, it's a different ballgame.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26Well, we got a few hours to kill while Jenna goes out on a hand audition.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Let's find out. - OK.

0:16:28 > 0:16:33But first, what do you say we get rid of that ridiculous tan?

0:16:33 > 0:16:35I know a few family secrets.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37- You don't like it? - I'm sorry, do you like it?

0:16:37 > 0:16:40- Not at all. - LAUGHING OK.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43- How's your face feel? - Oh, pretty much everything.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Come on, Dad! - Oh, no.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Not the spinning one. That's a recipe for disaster.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51Hey, Dad? Want to see my Five Favourite Food lists?

0:16:51 > 0:16:52Oh, I'd love to, Z. Thanks.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54- Zach likes to make lists. - I love lists.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56- Hot wings and milkshakes. - Chocolate?

0:16:56 > 0:16:58Oh, no, it gives me diarrhoea.

0:16:58 > 0:17:02I mean, stomach problems and frequent gas-spasms.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04- Oh. - I have to go to the bathroom.

0:17:04 > 0:17:05Oh, OK.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Hang on. Can you watch Emily?

0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Sure. - I want to go to the men's room.

0:17:10 > 0:17:11With me?

0:17:12 > 0:17:13OK.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19TOILET FLUSHING

0:17:20 > 0:17:23You're pretty old. How come you don't have any other kids?

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Well, um...

0:17:26 > 0:17:28Initially, it was kind of a...

0:17:28 > 0:17:30You do know where kids come from, right?

0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Yeah, sure. - Can you tell me?

0:17:37 > 0:17:39Well, um...

0:17:39 > 0:17:44In nature, the male and the female of the species, uh,

0:17:44 > 0:17:48in what some have called the "dance of springtime," you know...

0:17:48 > 0:17:52- ZACH FARTING - It's complicated.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57- ZACH FARTS - Do I just stand here?

0:17:57 > 0:17:59My mom usually waits outside.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01I'll bet she does. I'm out of here.

0:18:02 > 0:18:03HORN HONKS

0:18:07 > 0:18:08OK.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Ooh! You're early. - Hi, hon!

0:18:12 > 0:18:14I can do my hand cream later. Hi!

0:18:14 > 0:18:15- ZACH: Hi, Aunt Jenna! - EMILY: Hi.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18Hi, Zach. Hello, Emily!

0:18:19 > 0:18:21- I booked it! - JENNA AND VICKI SCREAM

0:18:21 > 0:18:25- I gotta go potty. - All right. Lemonade inside!

0:18:25 > 0:18:26- OK, I got them. - I got the bags.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28- No, no, it's all right... - No, please.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31- SCREAMING - Oh!

0:18:31 > 0:18:33Oh, no! I got it.

0:18:33 > 0:18:34- OK, I got it. - CAR BEEPS

0:18:34 > 0:18:36- No, wait. No, please don't. - SCREAMING CONTINUES

0:18:36 > 0:18:38CAR ALARM BLARING

0:18:38 > 0:18:40- MOUTHING Oh, my God. - DAN: Breathe! Breathe!

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Oh, sorry!

0:18:43 > 0:18:45YELLS

0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Oh... - SIREN WAILS

0:18:49 > 0:18:52She's going to be fine. She's a fighter.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54She looks good. You look good, hon.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01Can you hand me my cell phone? I have to call my agent.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05All right. Here we go. Here it is, hon.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10- Do you want help? - GROANS No, no.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12I'm going to give you a minute.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15- I'm so sorry. - GRUNTING

0:19:19 > 0:19:22Oh, God! What am I going to do?

0:19:22 > 0:19:25Come on, you're a great gal. You must have plenty of friends you could call.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28That I could trust with my kids for two weeks?

0:19:28 > 0:19:32This is a disaster! I don't have anybody else!

0:19:32 > 0:19:35That's not true. No, no. You have me.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38- SIGHS - I'll do it. I'll take the kids.

0:19:38 > 0:19:39VICKI EXHALES, LAUGHS

0:19:40 > 0:19:41DAN: I'll do it.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45- I will. - Really?

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Oh, yeah.

0:19:47 > 0:19:50- BOTH LAUGHING - Hey, yeah, see?

0:19:50 > 0:19:54This is good. This is a good thing.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56VICKI PANTING

0:19:57 > 0:20:01- Do you know anybody else? - No, just me.

0:20:01 > 0:20:03MUSIC: "All Right Now" by Free

0:20:03 > 0:20:06CHARLIE: And then suddenly, you're supposed to take care of twins

0:20:06 > 0:20:09when we have the biggest deal ever? Aw, Dan!

0:20:09 > 0:20:12I put their aunt in a halo for a month! What am I supposed to do?

0:20:12 > 0:20:14You're supposed to give them back! They got 24 hours!

0:20:14 > 0:20:16- They'll find another baby-sitter! - I can't give them back!

0:20:16 > 0:20:18They're my kids. It's not like puppies. "Take them back."

0:20:18 > 0:20:20- Let's break it down. It's two weeks. - OK.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22- Yeah. - All right, let's see. We got...

0:20:22 > 0:20:24They sleep 10, 12 hours, right, a day?

0:20:24 > 0:20:26- If you're lucky. - You've got TV.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29You've got bathroom time. You give them a lot of timeouts.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30You know what?

0:20:30 > 0:20:32You're looking at about 90 minutes of being a dad a day.

0:20:32 > 0:20:3490 minutes?

0:20:34 > 0:20:35It's a run-out-the-clock situation, that's all.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37- It's not sudden death. - You'll be fine.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40- Ha! We can do this. - "We?" No, no.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43You are on Planet Dan now, baby.

0:20:43 > 0:20:45I'm down here on Earth, just cheering you on.

0:20:45 > 0:20:49You started this, remember? You're the one who took me down to Florida.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52"Mr Feel-good" is going to teach me how to live.

0:20:52 > 0:20:55I wasn't alone then, I'm not going to be alone now, OK?

0:20:55 > 0:20:59So, tomorrow morning, 7:30, I want you outside your apartment ready to go.

0:20:59 > 0:21:01Because if I'm going to be an old dad for two weeks,

0:21:01 > 0:21:04you're going to be "Uncle Charlie."

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Well, I don't want to take care of the kids!

0:21:10 > 0:21:13VICKI: For both of them, I've packed enough clothes for every occasion.

0:21:13 > 0:21:15- That everything? - Yeah.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17I can't believe I'm doing this.

0:21:17 > 0:21:18Me, too.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21Here's the number for the poison control centre.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Poison control? - Do you need a list of poisons?

0:21:23 > 0:21:25No, I think most of them I know.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27I should have compiled a list of commonly ingested poisons!

0:21:27 > 0:21:29I'm not going to poison our children. They're in safe hands.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Have you ever been to a casino? - KIDS: No.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33- Have you ever seen the movie Casino? - No.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36OK, there are only pay phones in the common room,

0:21:36 > 0:21:37so I will call you on your cell phone.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39- OK. - And no baby-sitters.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Please, Dan. They've gone seven years without a dad.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Promise me you will not leave them with strangers.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46- No strangers. Check. - Dan! Vicki!

0:21:46 > 0:21:50The kids have never seen Friday the 13th, part 1 or 2!

0:21:50 > 0:21:52- Oh, my God! - He's kidding. He's a kidder.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54He was scared of The Wizard of Oz. He's kidding.

0:21:54 > 0:21:55The monkeys got him nuts.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58- Oh, and one more thing. - I'm up for it.

0:21:58 > 0:22:02Well, Emily has kind of concocted this idea that you're a superhero.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Oh. Why?

0:22:04 > 0:22:07Well, it was her way of explaining where you were,

0:22:07 > 0:22:09and it seemed harmless enough to me.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11- What are my powers? - You can stop bullets and you can fly.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14- Bulletproof and flying. - 1... 2... 3!

0:22:14 > 0:22:15- Ooh! - Whoa!

0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Oh, gosh, I gotta go. - OK.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20I'm going to miss them so much.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22OK...

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Promise me...

0:22:24 > 0:22:28You will devote every ounce of your being to taking care of them, Dan.

0:22:28 > 0:22:29I promise.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32- Promise me. - I promise.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34HORNS HONKING

0:22:34 > 0:22:37- So, you're not a superhero? - Not at the present time.

0:22:37 > 0:22:38HONKING

0:22:38 > 0:22:41Want to pick up the pace, Chachi? We just got passed by a street sweeper.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43How about putting it in drive, grandma?

0:22:43 > 0:22:46There are babies on board! Excuse me, kids.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Ooh... Who's up for chocolate chip pancakes?

0:22:57 > 0:23:00- KIDS: Me! Me! - No chocolate chips for breakfast.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02- Why not? - Kids crave limits. It's in the books.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05Hey everybody, let's kick this off with some really healthy choices.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07How about the heartland granola?

0:23:07 > 0:23:09That's like nature's broom! That's kind of wonderful.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Hey! Whoa!

0:23:11 > 0:23:14- Sorry. - It's OK, Zach.

0:23:14 > 0:23:15- Here you go. - It's an accident.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18That kind of thing happens. You have nothing to worry about.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Hi there. How are you? - Hi.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22- Good. - Well, hello.

0:23:22 > 0:23:25- What's your name? - Rochelle.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28Oh, Rochelle.

0:23:28 > 0:23:31Well, I didn't know they could afford to hire supermodels here.

0:23:32 > 0:23:35Hey, Pops? Isn't being a grandparent the best?

0:23:35 > 0:23:37I'm not a grandparent.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41My grandkids call me "Nub-Nub." What do your grandkids call you?

0:23:41 > 0:23:42Nub-Nub's good.

0:23:42 > 0:23:43PA: Attention, Pamela's diners.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46We've just been informed we have two new members to the grandparents' club.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49FANFARE PLAYS

0:23:49 > 0:23:52# Hey! Seniors, seniors, seniors! Enjoy the grand buffet!

0:23:52 > 0:23:55# Seniors, seniors, seniors! We hope you're here to stay!

0:23:55 > 0:23:58# Seniors, seniors, seniors! We like to make a fuss!

0:23:58 > 0:24:01# Seniors, seniors, seniors, every tenth meal is

0:24:01 > 0:24:05# On us!

0:24:05 > 0:24:07# Seniors, seniors, seniors... # - I'll be right back.

0:24:09 > 0:24:13Rochelle, Rochelle... I don't know what happened back there.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Just a little too much excitement for me.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17Oh, no.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20Oh, no, no. This is just an accident.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Don't worry. It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24- I'm not embarrassed. - I'll get you something.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28It's a glass of water, that's all.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30One glass of water gets my pump going, too.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32Uh-huh. Uh...

0:24:33 > 0:24:35DAN: Also, please tell them we are very focused

0:24:35 > 0:24:38on the golf game with Mr Nishamura.

0:24:38 > 0:24:39SPEAKING JAPANESE

0:24:39 > 0:24:42Write that on your resume? "Oh, I pop bubble paper."

0:24:42 > 0:24:45- Would you handle them? - ZACH: We want to Xerox our butts.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47Will you excuse me for one moment?

0:24:47 > 0:24:49Get off there. I'm sorry, Dan.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52- What are you, a frat boy? - I got your phone.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54- Timeout. - Ah! Timeout.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56- Give that back! Yes. - Keep-away? Are we doing this?

0:24:56 > 0:24:59ZACH: Toss it to me, Emily! Toss it to me!

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Your Japanese is so terrific.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04- You speak Japanese? - Well, no.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06But I don't have to speak Japanese

0:25:06 > 0:25:09to see how beautiful you are when you speak it.

0:25:09 > 0:25:12Don't go out there! Don't go out there! Come back this way.

0:25:12 > 0:25:16- Yeah, I'm their favourite uncle. - How old are they?

0:25:18 > 0:25:21- How old do you think they are? - Um...

0:25:22 > 0:25:26- Seven? - Seven! Yeah. You're good.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28- Fraternal twins? - Is there any other kind?

0:25:28 > 0:25:30BOTH LAUGHING

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Oh, jeez. When you're around kids as much as I am,

0:25:34 > 0:25:36you got to develop a sense of humour.

0:25:36 > 0:25:40- But it's rewarding, too. - Hmm...

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Do you like the beach, "favourite uncle" Charlie?

0:25:42 > 0:25:43Love!

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Why don't you come to Westport on Saturday.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48I'm going to meet some friends at their beach house.

0:25:48 > 0:25:49You can even bring your niece and nephew.

0:25:49 > 0:25:53Well, I just may do that, "beautiful translator" Amanda.

0:25:53 > 0:25:54BOTH LAUGH

0:25:55 > 0:25:57Go camping, learn how to ride a two-wheeler,

0:25:57 > 0:26:01my first pro baseball game, refinish a deck and surfing.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03That's my Dad List.

0:26:03 > 0:26:07That sounds great. Pull up your hoods, OK?

0:26:07 > 0:26:10- Put these on, all right? - Why?

0:26:10 > 0:26:12Technically, you're not supposed to be here, let alone living here.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15But we're going to have a lot of fun. Let's go.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY

0:26:21 > 0:26:22Dan?

0:26:22 > 0:26:24Ooh! Betty. Hide! Go, go!

0:26:24 > 0:26:26- Dan, is that you? - Hey, Betty!

0:26:26 > 0:26:30- Hi! You are looking good. - You, too, baby.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33LAUGHING What's all that racket?

0:26:33 > 0:26:35I don't know. Maybe immigrants. I'm not sure.

0:26:35 > 0:26:37Raccoons, most likely.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39No... Oh, my God, I see kids!

0:26:39 > 0:26:41- No, these are my... - I see kids!

0:26:41 > 0:26:43- SCREAMING - SHOUTING

0:26:43 > 0:26:44SIREN WAILS

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Why don't you put them in a hotel? They would love room service.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50DAN: They'd also love a spa, but we can't... Don't run! Careful!

0:26:50 > 0:26:52- Don't touch that! - Dan Easy. Slow down! No running!

0:26:52 > 0:26:55Watch out! A lot of expensive things...

0:26:55 > 0:26:56- Are you out of your mind? - Why?

0:26:56 > 0:26:57Come on!

0:26:57 > 0:26:59Listen. You're the one that forced me into that place.

0:26:59 > 0:27:03- I cajoled you, I cajoled you. - Don't give me semantics.

0:27:03 > 0:27:04Look, they're going upstairs now!

0:27:06 > 0:27:09This is my crib, man! This is where I get down.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12This is where I sink the three points. This is where I throw the TD.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14This isn't for kids, man.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Look, that pool out there, that's got a 15-foot deep end.

0:27:17 > 0:27:21Look at this place! I got pointy-edged furniture. I got...

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Those spears probably still have poison on them.

0:27:23 > 0:27:24You don't want them in this house.

0:27:24 > 0:27:29I do not lead a child-safe life, man.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32It is not... not how I roll. You know?

0:27:32 > 0:27:34- Charlie... - SIGHS

0:27:34 > 0:27:36- I'm barely treading water here. - Aw, don't...

0:27:36 > 0:27:38I don't know these kids very long, but I'm still their dad.

0:27:38 > 0:27:42And they need a home. And so do I.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45Right now, you're the closest thing we got.

0:27:50 > 0:27:51SIGHS

0:27:51 > 0:27:53Thanks, bro. You're the best.

0:27:55 > 0:27:58OK. You went emotional and it paid off.

0:27:58 > 0:27:59- Good. - This time.

0:27:59 > 0:28:01OK.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06Oh, it's Vicki! Kids!

0:28:06 > 0:28:09Well, first everybody thought Dad was our grandpa.

0:28:09 > 0:28:13Then he pretty much worked the rest of the day.

0:28:13 > 0:28:16SLOWLY: "Everything is fine."

0:28:16 > 0:28:20And he did say he was going to do the first thing on Zach's Dad List.

0:28:20 > 0:28:23That sounds promising. See? This is going to be great.

0:28:23 > 0:28:24Here's Dad.

0:28:25 > 0:28:27Hey, Vic. Didn't she sound wonderful?

0:28:27 > 0:28:29- How's everything going? - I'm OK.

0:28:29 > 0:28:32Don't you worry a moment about how things are going here

0:28:32 > 0:28:34because everything's going great.

0:28:36 > 0:28:39OK, you guys... lights out.

0:28:40 > 0:28:42DAN: OK.

0:28:42 > 0:28:44Alrighty. There you go.

0:28:44 > 0:28:47- You have your creature? Good. - I do.

0:28:50 > 0:28:51- You OK? - Mm-hm.

0:28:53 > 0:28:54Good night.

0:29:19 > 0:29:21I just shook my daughter's hand good night.

0:29:24 > 0:29:26I'm no good at this, Charlie.

0:29:26 > 0:29:29Come on. You're trying. That's what matters.

0:29:29 > 0:29:30Thanks.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37They are cute, though.

0:29:37 > 0:29:42Yeah. They are when they're in a... dormant configuration.

0:29:49 > 0:29:53- POUNDING, DRILLING - WHIMPERS

0:29:53 > 0:29:55MAN: Whoo-wee! Look at this, Nick!

0:29:55 > 0:29:57DRILL BUZZING

0:30:02 > 0:30:05- Ready for the other one? - Don't get drill happy.

0:30:05 > 0:30:07MAN: No, no, no. It's all good.

0:30:07 > 0:30:08- DRILL BUZZING - Hey!

0:30:08 > 0:30:10TOOL DROPPING

0:30:10 > 0:30:13- What are you doing? - Sir, it's cool.

0:30:13 > 0:30:16That's Nick and I'm Gary. We're the childproofers.

0:30:16 > 0:30:18- Really? - I'm going to need access

0:30:18 > 0:30:21to all your personal drawers and stuff.

0:30:21 > 0:30:25- Dan! Dan! Did you do this? - Charlie!

0:30:25 > 0:30:27- Oh, yeah. - Did you bring them in?

0:30:27 > 0:30:28- Definitely. - Why?

0:30:28 > 0:30:30You described this house as being a dangerous place for kids,

0:30:30 > 0:30:32so I hired the best childproofers there are.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35The tall guy over there, he was a civil engineer.

0:30:35 > 0:30:38What kind of a civil engineer would be baby-proofing a house?

0:30:41 > 0:30:44Failed one, sir, I'm a failed civil engineer.

0:30:44 > 0:30:48I got a lot of bad road behind me. Lot of potholes.

0:30:48 > 0:30:51That's why I'm going to be extra vigilant in protecting your children.

0:30:51 > 0:30:53They're seven. And they're his kids.

0:30:53 > 0:30:55- That's true. - That's progressive,

0:30:55 > 0:30:56- and I'm all for it. - Oh, come on!

0:30:56 > 0:31:00Even I know you do not baby-proof a house for seven-year-olds.

0:31:00 > 0:31:02- Oh! - What about the 15-foot deep end?

0:31:02 > 0:31:05Sir, you got a flamethrower for a fireplace.

0:31:05 > 0:31:07- It's a fashion. It's a style. - The spears?

0:31:07 > 0:31:09What guy buys poison-tipped spears?

0:31:09 > 0:31:12A thousand years ago they were poison. I don't know if they're poison now.

0:31:12 > 0:31:14You bought those a thousand years ago?

0:31:14 > 0:31:17- Expect me to believe that? - You designed this house of horrors.

0:31:17 > 0:31:20You brought the kids to this house. Stop it! Don't eat that.

0:31:20 > 0:31:21Those are dog treats.

0:31:21 > 0:31:25Everything tastes like dog food after that smoked salmon I just had.

0:31:25 > 0:31:26You ate the salmon?

0:31:28 > 0:31:32- That was a gift. - Yes, it was.

0:31:34 > 0:31:37- You guys better pack. - Pack?

0:31:37 > 0:31:39- Why are you dressed like that? - What do we pack for?

0:31:39 > 0:31:41Camping. That's first on my Dad List.

0:31:41 > 0:31:44And we're Pioneers, so you have to find the nearest campground.

0:31:44 > 0:31:47We have 50 files of Nishamura work to do before Saturday.

0:31:47 > 0:31:50Guys, camping... I don't think we can do it.

0:31:50 > 0:31:53- ZACH: But you promised! - DAN: I know I promised,

0:31:53 > 0:31:57but I didn't realise camping involved a camping trip, and we have to reschedule.

0:31:57 > 0:31:59- ZACH: But you promised. - Sometimes promises

0:31:59 > 0:32:02- aren't written in stone. - BOTH: But you promised!

0:32:21 > 0:32:25INHALING: We've been a Pioneer family for four generations now.

0:32:25 > 0:32:29I practically grew up in these woods following Grandpa Ted.

0:32:29 > 0:32:33Gramps was troop leader 63 years ago.

0:32:33 > 0:32:36and was the recipient of the supreme Pioneer honour.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39Interred for eternity...

0:32:42 > 0:32:46in a tomb erected with his own hands.

0:32:46 > 0:32:49right here on this... on this very campsite.

0:32:51 > 0:32:52SHUDDERING

0:32:54 > 0:32:56Not in front of the kids.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59Hey. Hey. Psst.

0:32:59 > 0:33:04Hey! You remind me of that old dude who stole my girlfriend.

0:33:04 > 0:33:07- What? - MAN: I promised myself...

0:33:07 > 0:33:09Yeah, you. You! Mr Wall-of-Hair.

0:33:09 > 0:33:11Rick, you're a counsellor here. This is sacred ground.

0:33:11 > 0:33:14- Something I got to tell you. - The Pioneers have meant

0:33:14 > 0:33:19the world to the Taylor clan. That's who I am.

0:33:19 > 0:33:23Troop leader. Patriot. TSA supervisor.

0:33:23 > 0:33:26And dad. I am Barry Taylor.

0:33:26 > 0:33:30- COMPUTER BEEPING - PHONE BEEPING

0:33:30 > 0:33:34Gentlemen, why don't we put down the electronic devices,

0:33:34 > 0:33:36and try to get into it a little bit?

0:33:36 > 0:33:42Hmm? After all... we're here for the kids.

0:33:42 > 0:33:44Fine.

0:33:44 > 0:33:47- PHONE RINGS - MOUTHING: Sorry.

0:33:53 > 0:33:54Here for the kids? What's he talking about?

0:33:54 > 0:33:57OK, kids. Who wants to have some fun?

0:33:57 > 0:33:58- ALL CHEER - Yeah...!

0:33:58 > 0:34:01- Let's go dig a hole. - ALL CHEER

0:34:01 > 0:34:04- What's your problem? - How about we go dig a hole.

0:34:04 > 0:34:05He's giving me the stink eye.

0:34:05 > 0:34:09You thief. I loved her. I loved her so much.

0:34:09 > 0:34:11- What are you saying? - My beef is not with you, old woman.

0:34:11 > 0:34:13- Thank you. - GROWLING SOFTLY

0:34:13 > 0:34:17- OK, now I got it. - He has a lot.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19INDISTINCT CHATTERING

0:34:21 > 0:34:24Hey, Zach, Emily. Why don't you get your grandpa

0:34:24 > 0:34:26- to leave the office... - GIGGLING

0:34:26 > 0:34:28and come over here and join us in the woods?

0:34:28 > 0:34:30He's not our grandpa, he's our dad.

0:34:34 > 0:34:40Sure, Zach. My grandpa was like a dad to me, too.

0:34:40 > 0:34:44He is, Troop Master Barry. He's my dad, and that's his partner.

0:34:44 > 0:34:47- It's like we have two dads! - DAN: Just found out.

0:34:47 > 0:34:49Trust me. It was a surprise.

0:34:49 > 0:34:51- Been together 30 years. - Feels like 50.

0:34:52 > 0:34:55- DAN: Oh, well... - We're soul mates, really.

0:34:55 > 0:34:58You must have a best buddy.

0:34:58 > 0:35:00DAN: Yeah. A pal? Someone you can...

0:35:01 > 0:35:03- Fine. - Take care.

0:35:03 > 0:35:04- Loner. - Loner.

0:35:04 > 0:35:06- Loser! - Loser.

0:35:07 > 0:35:10- CHARLIE: No bears allowed. - ZACH: Thank you, Troop Master Barry.

0:35:10 > 0:35:13- EMILY: Thanks. - No trouble at all, kids.

0:35:13 > 0:35:16You ladies ready to play a little Ultimate Frisbee?

0:35:16 > 0:35:18- I think so, Mr Testosterone. - CHARLIE: Yeah.

0:35:18 > 0:35:20DAN: Ultimate Frisbee? That's our game.

0:35:20 > 0:35:24- Let's do this for our kids, huh? - Yeah!

0:35:24 > 0:35:27Come on, man. Let's do it. Yeah, for the kids. Yeah, baby.

0:35:27 > 0:35:29All right, let's do this. Sports marketing!

0:35:29 > 0:35:32Sports marketing! Yeah! Make the deal. Get them!

0:35:33 > 0:35:37- That's bear scat, gentlemen. - Yeah... Yeah, it is.

0:35:38 > 0:35:39- ZACH: Dad? - Yeah?

0:35:39 > 0:35:41I think "scat" is poop.

0:35:42 > 0:35:44- Really, son? - Zach Yeah.

0:35:44 > 0:35:47- You wiped poop on my face? - Yeah.

0:35:48 > 0:35:50Scat happens, man.

0:35:50 > 0:35:53MUSIC: "Chariots of Fire" by Vangelis

0:36:02 > 0:36:06ALL: 1, 2, 3, 4,

0:36:06 > 0:36:095, 6, 7, 8...

0:36:17 > 0:36:19GROANING

0:36:19 > 0:36:22- BONES CRACKING - Aah...

0:36:22 > 0:36:26- MOANING - BONES CRACKING

0:36:26 > 0:36:30- WHISTLE BLOWING - CHEERING

0:36:30 > 0:36:32CHARLIE: Go long!

0:36:34 > 0:36:37- MOANING - GRUNTING

0:36:37 > 0:36:41- Yes! Yeah, baby! - CHEERING

0:36:41 > 0:36:43Barry! I'm over here, I'm open!

0:36:43 > 0:36:44GRUNTS

0:36:44 > 0:36:46MOANS, GRUNTS

0:36:46 > 0:36:49- Hey! - I'm open!

0:36:52 > 0:36:53- Oh! - Get...

0:36:53 > 0:36:57MOANING

0:36:57 > 0:37:03- Sorry. - Ow, my gums!

0:37:04 > 0:37:07You get your wingman to fight your battles for you?

0:37:07 > 0:37:09- I didn't take your woman. - I'm a man.

0:37:09 > 0:37:12- I don't know your woman! - First you steal Janice Applebaum.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15- You're confused! - Then you steal my soul.

0:37:15 > 0:37:18- What? - Now it's on, smiley.

0:37:18 > 0:37:21Prison rules!

0:37:21 > 0:37:24- MOUTHING: Prison rules? - Oh, boy.

0:37:24 > 0:37:27MUSIC: "Hate to Say I Told You So" by The Hives

0:37:28 > 0:37:31- Whoo! GRUNTS - CHEERING

0:37:31 > 0:37:34- CACKLING - Come on, Dad. You can get up.

0:37:36 > 0:37:37- GRUNTS - Never mind.

0:37:40 > 0:37:41Back, back, back, back.

0:37:41 > 0:37:42- GRUNTS - Time out.

0:37:42 > 0:37:45- GRUNTING - Ah!

0:37:45 > 0:37:47- SHOUTING - SOUND OF PLANE DIVING

0:37:47 > 0:37:48DAN: Get off of me!

0:37:48 > 0:37:51- BELLOWING - BONES CRUNCHING

0:37:53 > 0:37:54GASPS

0:37:56 > 0:37:59Stay down, gentle warrior.

0:37:59 > 0:38:01- CHEERING - Ooh...

0:38:05 > 0:38:07- Pull. - DISC WHIZZING

0:38:07 > 0:38:09DISC SHATTERING

0:38:10 > 0:38:13- Textbook double bull's eye. - Nice, Barry.

0:38:14 > 0:38:19That's how you get yourself a chest full of merit patches. Anyone else?

0:38:19 > 0:38:20Pull!

0:38:22 > 0:38:26- Barry... - I said... pull!

0:38:33 > 0:38:36- GASPS - MURMURING

0:38:36 > 0:38:38CHUCKLES: My bad!

0:38:38 > 0:38:42- No! - INDISTINCT CHATTERING

0:38:42 > 0:38:45- Grandpa Ted! - We should get our merit patches

0:38:45 > 0:38:49- just for being his kids. - Sorry! How bad is it?

0:38:49 > 0:38:51- Bad! - OK.

0:39:01 > 0:39:04As a result of your little outdoor adventure,

0:39:04 > 0:39:08I just want you to know that my sciatica has flared up,

0:39:08 > 0:39:09and I stink like a steakhouse.

0:39:09 > 0:39:10- So thanks. - Oh, you're welcome.

0:39:10 > 0:39:12Don't mind the fact that I took

0:39:12 > 0:39:14a 3-day camping trip and shortened it to 9 hours.

0:39:14 > 0:39:18- I made fire! Wow! - Oh, no!

0:39:18 > 0:39:21That's not good. Get the car ready.

0:39:21 > 0:39:24Little collateral damage, but we're back on track with the deal.

0:39:24 > 0:39:27Now it's all about the golf game. How's your back?

0:39:27 > 0:39:29- Tight. - Untighten it.

0:39:29 > 0:39:32Because Nishamura uses golf as a metaphor for life.

0:39:32 > 0:39:35So if you mess that up, it's sayonara, Nishamura.

0:39:35 > 0:39:39- One of my little magic pills. - My housekeeper happens to

0:39:39 > 0:39:42arrange them in an organised circular fashion, like so.

0:39:42 > 0:39:44- Pardon-moi. - Yes.

0:39:44 > 0:39:46That's amazing. When did we become our fathers?

0:39:46 > 0:39:48Man, I'd like to see Troop Leader Barry

0:39:48 > 0:39:50deal with the side effects of even one of these puppies.

0:39:50 > 0:39:52Look at this. For my aging prostate.

0:39:52 > 0:39:54- Right. - Side effects include

0:39:54 > 0:39:57swollen tongue, dry mouth and pus-filled canker sores.

0:39:57 > 0:40:00- Come on. - This is a joint anti-inflammatory.

0:40:00 > 0:40:03Maximum dosage may cause bouts of uncontrollable appetite.

0:40:03 > 0:40:05That's not so bad. The munchies. I could deal with that.

0:40:05 > 0:40:07Look at this one. High blood pressure.

0:40:07 > 0:40:10"Watch out for sudden loss of depth perception."

0:40:10 > 0:40:13This tiny pill lowers your bad cholesterol.

0:40:13 > 0:40:16But the first time I took it, partial facial paralysis.

0:40:16 > 0:40:18- Come on. - I froze up like a circus clown.

0:40:18 > 0:40:19- I was, like, "Ha." - CHARLIE: You're kidding.

0:40:19 > 0:40:21Yeah, like...

0:40:22 > 0:40:24- Threw my back out. - Man...

0:40:26 > 0:40:29- How much longer we got? - 1 week, 4 days, 9 hours.

0:40:29 > 0:40:33- Mmm... Good Lord. - God help us all.

0:40:34 > 0:40:37Hey, Dad, I'm in desperate need of a King Fontana.

0:40:37 > 0:40:39- You want to play? - My doctor says that

0:40:39 > 0:40:41I can't get down on the floor, even crouch, on a golf day.

0:40:41 > 0:40:44It seems I have a genetic predisposition to knee problems.

0:40:44 > 0:40:47That means you have it, too. So you have to be very careful.

0:40:47 > 0:40:49Nick, I told you not to use epoxy.

0:40:49 > 0:40:51It's going to leave a permanent stain and an odour.

0:40:51 > 0:40:54Why can't you ever tell me I did a good job?

0:40:54 > 0:40:56All right, maestro, how do I do this?

0:40:56 > 0:41:00Um, OK... You want to go quarter turn clockwise,

0:41:00 > 0:41:04grab the lever, then use the counter lever to spin 180 degrees...

0:41:04 > 0:41:06EMILY: Why are you charging that in here?

0:41:06 > 0:41:10I keep getting in Dad's way. He can't do any business in here, right?

0:41:10 > 0:41:12Release like that, and voila.

0:41:15 > 0:41:17EMILY: Check if they have kids' toothpaste.

0:41:17 > 0:41:20That old people stuff burns my...

0:41:22 > 0:41:27- Should we tell? - I think I remember where they go.

0:41:27 > 0:41:29ZACH: We'll put this one in...

0:41:29 > 0:41:32- EMILY: This one in here. - ZACH: Put them in here.

0:41:32 > 0:41:35MUSIC: "Police On My Back" by The Clash

0:41:40 > 0:41:41GRUNTING

0:41:45 > 0:41:47Ooh... Mmm.

0:41:51 > 0:41:52GRUNTING

0:42:05 > 0:42:07What am I doing? They're guys.

0:42:07 > 0:42:09WHIMPERS

0:42:13 > 0:42:16OK, guys, let's go! Are you guys still hungry?

0:42:16 > 0:42:18- We just ate. - So did you.

0:42:18 > 0:42:19I know, but I'm starved.

0:42:32 > 0:42:34That's weird. Hmm.

0:42:34 > 0:42:37Do you have candy bars on you? Don't lie to me.

0:42:37 > 0:42:38- What's wrong with him? - I don't know.

0:42:38 > 0:42:41- Hey! - Hey! You made it.

0:42:41 > 0:42:43- We made it. Yeah. - Can we go play?

0:42:43 > 0:42:46Go ahead. There's games over there. Check it out.

0:42:46 > 0:42:48Catch you later.

0:42:52 > 0:42:56- Oh! - Wow. You got a lot of friends.

0:42:56 > 0:42:58Oh, well, they're not actually all my friends.

0:42:58 > 0:43:00It's a bereavement group I belong to.

0:43:00 > 0:43:02- Bereavement? - Yeah.

0:43:02 > 0:43:04My grandma passed away six months ago.

0:43:04 > 0:43:06- I'm sorry. - Everyone here is dealing with loss.

0:43:06 > 0:43:08And then on the weekends we have a potluck.

0:43:09 > 0:43:11Potluck? Where?

0:43:12 > 0:43:14Mr Nishamura. It's an honour.

0:43:17 > 0:43:19- Nice to meet you. - You, too.

0:43:19 > 0:43:21Oh.

0:43:21 > 0:43:23- My son, Riku. - Riku.

0:43:24 > 0:43:28- Yeah, hey. Hey. Hey... - Hey. Hey. Hey.

0:43:28 > 0:43:29Oh! GROANS

0:43:29 > 0:43:33BOTH GROANING

0:43:33 > 0:43:36- Thank you. - MUTTERING

0:43:36 > 0:43:37GULPING

0:43:41 > 0:43:43GARBLED: Tongue is swollen.

0:43:43 > 0:43:48We are dedicating lunch today to our brave Justine,

0:43:48 > 0:43:51who passed away just two days ago.

0:43:51 > 0:43:55GARBLED: Voicemail. No! Charlie, it's me.

0:43:55 > 0:43:57I think we switch peers.

0:43:57 > 0:43:59I love cupcakes!

0:43:59 > 0:44:04She left us a gift of one of her world-famous rhubarb pies,

0:44:04 > 0:44:09that she baked through her pain of the last few hours of her life.

0:44:09 > 0:44:14- Good mercy! - No talk. Nishamura. Call me.

0:44:16 > 0:44:18Are you ready?

0:44:21 > 0:44:24That's Justine's rhubarb pie!

0:44:24 > 0:44:27Where is she? I want to give Justine a big hug.

0:44:27 > 0:44:31- She's dead. - My condolences.

0:44:31 > 0:44:33She's dead!

0:44:37 > 0:44:41She's dead! She's dead! Give me it! Dead! She's dead!

0:44:41 > 0:44:43That's a close second.

0:44:45 > 0:44:48Ooh... Ah!

0:44:52 > 0:44:55- Is my face twitching? - You look great.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57You look... great.

0:44:57 > 0:44:59Charlie? Are you OK?

0:44:59 > 0:45:02I am so sorry about that whole pie thing.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05It must be my blood sugar or something.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07It's OK. I think I calmed them down.

0:45:07 > 0:45:09Come on. We're having circle time.

0:45:09 > 0:45:11- Circle time? - It's when the whole group

0:45:11 > 0:45:13gathers and shares their grief.

0:45:13 > 0:45:17Oh... Guys, I'll be back. I got to go to circle time.

0:45:23 > 0:45:26- Um... Hey, Dan? - Hmm?

0:45:26 > 0:45:30How are you doing? I recently put down 3,000 on an authentic Japanese kimono.

0:45:33 > 0:45:35I just want to make sure it goes OK.

0:45:48 > 0:45:51Aah... Aah...

0:45:56 > 0:45:57RETCHING

0:45:57 > 0:46:03Dan-san, would you like to use my club?

0:46:04 > 0:46:06Is that a "yes"?

0:46:06 > 0:46:10- Why is he ignoring my father? - No, he's just really intense.

0:46:10 > 0:46:15He excludes all but the game. A focus you could learn, my son.

0:46:15 > 0:46:17SPEAKS JAPANESE

0:46:24 > 0:46:27- Ooh... - I knew it. Oh, gosh.

0:46:27 > 0:46:31Breathe. Just breathe through it. Walk it off. Walk it off.

0:46:31 > 0:46:32We're good. We're good. Just take a shot.

0:46:32 > 0:46:35It just passes, and then... GASPS And then it comes back.

0:46:35 > 0:46:39After 9 months of excruciating pain,

0:46:39 > 0:46:44- the cancer had spread. - We're all here for you.

0:46:48 > 0:46:52- Do you think this is funny? - He thinks it's funny.

0:46:52 > 0:46:54Everybody grieves in their own way.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56- That's true. - If I don't laugh, I'll cry.

0:47:06 > 0:47:07SQUAWKS

0:47:11 > 0:47:14The golf gods look favourably upon you.

0:47:14 > 0:47:17This is a very good omen.

0:47:21 > 0:47:24MUSIC: "Grazie, Prego, Scusi" by Dean Martin

0:47:28 > 0:47:30That was some delicious pie.

0:47:45 > 0:47:47CHARLIE: Dan, have you seen the Nishamura file?

0:47:47 > 0:47:50Hey Dad, maybe tomorrow you can teach me how to ride a two-wheel.

0:47:50 > 0:47:52I got a lot on my mind right now.

0:47:52 > 0:47:54I'm trying to focus, finish this business deal.

0:47:54 > 0:47:56Come on, Dad. You're not even trying.

0:47:56 > 0:48:01I'm struggling, OK? That's like trying, it just... without succeeding.

0:48:09 > 0:48:11Oh, come on. He unplugged the fax machine.

0:48:11 > 0:48:14two open plugs and he has to unplug the fax machine

0:48:14 > 0:48:17- to plug in his little gaming system. - CHARLIE: Big deal. Come on.

0:48:17 > 0:48:19You can't run a business if you can't get faxes on time.

0:48:19 > 0:48:21This is the reason I didn't want to have kids.

0:48:24 > 0:48:26I wasn't talking about you, Zach.

0:48:30 > 0:48:32Hey, Zach.

0:48:32 > 0:48:35Hey, Zach. Zach...

0:48:37 > 0:48:39- Zachary! - TOY SQUEAKS

0:48:52 > 0:48:55I defaced a venerated monument, literally. Burned down a campground.

0:48:55 > 0:48:58My son, for all intents and purposes, is giving up on me.

0:48:58 > 0:49:00I'm failing them everywhere I look.

0:49:00 > 0:49:04Emily, one minute she wants me to be a superhero,

0:49:04 > 0:49:08- the next minute a lion, then a king. - Then be a king, you idiot!

0:49:08 > 0:49:10Be a superhero, be a lion, be whatever she wants.

0:49:12 > 0:49:15Don't you get it? She just wants someone to protect her.

0:49:16 > 0:49:19- That's it? - Yes.

0:49:19 > 0:49:21You have to be on their level. Be like them.

0:49:21 > 0:49:24You know what my dad gave me for my 5th birthday?

0:49:24 > 0:49:26- What? - A calculator.

0:49:27 > 0:49:30I don't know what it is about me

0:49:30 > 0:49:34that sees you in a crisis and then comes galloping to your rescue.

0:49:34 > 0:49:36But I guess I am who I am, aren't I?

0:49:38 > 0:49:41You need help connecting with these kids?

0:49:41 > 0:49:42I'm going to find you help.

0:49:44 > 0:49:47- UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING - CHILDREN CHEERING

0:49:47 > 0:49:50CHILDREN CHANTING Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy!

0:50:14 > 0:50:16- Whoo! - Rocked it, baby.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18Ladies, beautiful as always.

0:50:18 > 0:50:19- CHARLIE: Jimmy Mac! - Charlie!

0:50:19 > 0:50:22- Yeah, brother! - What's up? Charlie, look at you!

0:50:22 > 0:50:23- Meet my friend, Dan. - Hey.

0:50:23 > 0:50:26Tell me you felt it. Did you feel it, man?

0:50:26 > 0:50:27- Was it electrifying? - Electrifying.

0:50:27 > 0:50:29Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.

0:50:29 > 0:50:31Like chocolate milk coming through the nose, baby! Yeah!

0:50:31 > 0:50:34two shows tomorrow, everybody. So what's going on?

0:50:34 > 0:50:37- I was going to ask you a favour. - What you need?

0:50:35 > 0:50:37Remember at Wade's party you were talking about

0:50:37 > 0:50:40a human puppeteer, this mechanism? You got that done?

0:50:40 > 0:50:43When I was talking to you in confidence?

0:50:43 > 0:50:45- Yeah. - You always had that problem.

0:50:45 > 0:50:49This man is in trouble. He has trouble relating to his own children.

0:50:49 > 0:50:50- Oh, my God. - He needs your help.

0:50:50 > 0:50:52With your technology, we can fix this.

0:50:52 > 0:50:53- Oh, thank you. - It's true.

0:50:53 > 0:50:56Let me get this right. You want to hire me

0:50:56 > 0:50:58to take this uptight man and make him a human puppet?

0:50:58 > 0:51:00- Yes. - I'm going to do it for you.

0:51:00 > 0:51:03- Aah! - Everybody, chop, chop! Whoo!

0:51:03 > 0:51:07- I feel so doggone good here. - CHARLIE: All right. We're good to go.

0:51:07 > 0:51:09Now, you told me that your friend didn't know how to play.

0:51:09 > 0:51:11- It's true. - Dan, now you don't have to.

0:51:11 > 0:51:14- Charlie's going to play for you. - DAN: With this suit?

0:51:14 > 0:51:16- Yes. Stick this down your pants. - Why?

0:51:16 > 0:51:20That thing will emit such a jolt that it will literally tickle your funny bone.

0:51:20 > 0:51:21- REVERBERATING - WHIMPERS

0:51:32 > 0:51:33BEEPS

0:51:33 > 0:51:35CHARLIE: This is a proper tea.

0:51:36 > 0:51:40Cup. Bring it up.

0:51:40 > 0:51:42Pinky.

0:51:42 > 0:51:43This is awesome.

0:51:43 > 0:51:47Oh, King Fontana, I do so admire a proper gentleman.

0:51:47 > 0:51:52I admire proper gentlemen, too. I admire them very, very much.

0:51:54 > 0:51:56- What? - WHIMPERS QUIZZICALLY

0:51:56 > 0:51:58WAND REVERBERATES

0:51:58 > 0:52:01That was a good cup of tea.

0:52:01 > 0:52:04Why, thank you. As princess of the land, I have made it specially.

0:52:04 > 0:52:07- It is poo-poo flavoured. - CHARLIE: She's cute.

0:52:07 > 0:52:11- He didn't laugh. Make him laugh. - Watch this.

0:52:13 > 0:52:18- Laugh, puppet. Laugh, laugh. - LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY

0:52:33 > 0:52:36"Here with my board. Have questions."

0:52:36 > 0:52:39Cool. I have my board, too.

0:52:39 > 0:52:44SPEAKING JAPANESE

0:52:44 > 0:52:46MUSIC: "Land of 1,000 Dances" by Wilson Pickett

0:52:55 > 0:52:59"Nissan has been our marketing partner in racing for many years."

0:52:59 > 0:53:00LAUGHS

0:53:00 > 0:53:04- DINGS - "Nissan is poop."

0:53:04 > 0:53:09ALL EXCLAIMING

0:53:13 > 0:53:15Ah, ah.

0:53:15 > 0:53:20Strong words. You suggest we sever ties?

0:53:20 > 0:53:22Racecars. Cool.

0:53:22 > 0:53:26"...but robots are cooler."

0:53:26 > 0:53:29How could he know we're exploring a major push in that field?

0:53:31 > 0:53:33BARKS

0:53:36 > 0:53:39- DINGS - "This is boring. I'm leaving now."

0:53:40 > 0:53:43- Fearless, this one. - Spin him.

0:53:43 > 0:53:47- Whoa! - Spin him. Spin him again.

0:53:50 > 0:53:53- ELECTRICAL ZAPPING - YELLING

0:53:54 > 0:53:56- Too much spin. - Yeah.

0:53:56 > 0:53:58ZAPPING

0:53:58 > 0:53:59I'm OK.

0:54:01 > 0:54:04I told your boy not to get the battery pack wet. He's on his own.

0:54:04 > 0:54:07Sorry, Emily.

0:54:12 > 0:54:14Princess?

0:54:17 > 0:54:19King Fontana?

0:54:21 > 0:54:23Game on.

0:54:26 > 0:54:27At your service, my lady.

0:54:31 > 0:54:33You know when they found you after so many years

0:54:33 > 0:54:36there were many in my kingdom who were trepidatious.

0:54:36 > 0:54:40- Really hard word. - Oh. People were scared.

0:54:40 > 0:54:44And even most regal I, your king, was frightened.

0:54:44 > 0:54:48- A king who was scared? Ha! - I know. 'Tis to laugh. Ha...

0:54:48 > 0:54:50But 'tis true.

0:54:50 > 0:54:53'Tis the reason why a king may act like a toad.

0:54:54 > 0:54:57But the day your king found you,

0:54:57 > 0:55:00he vowed to protect you for ever.

0:55:00 > 0:55:04Even though he didn't know you, could barely speak your language,

0:55:04 > 0:55:06and yes, was a little afraid...

0:55:07 > 0:55:13..he vowed to vanquish any and all who would do you harm in any way.

0:55:15 > 0:55:17You know that. Right, Emily?

0:55:18 > 0:55:20You know I'll always be there for you.

0:55:20 > 0:55:26You're my daughter, and I will love you for ever.

0:55:38 > 0:55:40- Are you crying? - No, I'm not. I'm not crying.

0:55:40 > 0:55:46Jimmy Mac, you crying? Come on, Jimmy.

0:55:49 > 0:55:51Your humble servant, madam.

0:55:51 > 0:55:54- OK. - Don't let go, Dad.

0:55:54 > 0:55:57This reminds me of an article I once read in Advertising Age,

0:55:57 > 0:56:00which talked about the fact that a loss in a firm's brand assets

0:56:00 > 0:56:04is negatively correlated with increased market valuation.

0:56:04 > 0:56:05I don't know what you're talking about, Dad.

0:56:05 > 0:56:08Let's talk about the fact that you're riding a two-wheeler on your own.

0:56:08 > 0:56:12- No hands, baby! No hands! - I'm doing it, Dad! I'm doing it!

0:56:12 > 0:56:14Yeah! You're doing it.

0:56:17 > 0:56:19- BICYCLE CRASHING - Oh...

0:56:19 > 0:56:20MUSIC "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams

0:56:20 > 0:56:22Hit it!

0:56:24 > 0:56:25Rookies.

0:56:29 > 0:56:31There you go. That was awesome.

0:56:38 > 0:56:41Hey, look! Look! That's us!

0:56:41 > 0:56:42Yeah!

0:56:48 > 0:56:52We were most impressed by your knowledge of our assets base.

0:56:52 > 0:56:55But ultimately, it was your robotics idea

0:56:55 > 0:56:58that pushed us over the top.

0:56:58 > 0:57:00- Robotics? - Smile and nod.

0:57:00 > 0:57:05We here, at NMG, are ready to go to the next step.

0:57:05 > 0:57:10Pack your bag, Craig-san. You're moving to Tokyo.

0:57:20 > 0:57:23I've worked so hard! It's like I've just been traded!

0:57:23 > 0:57:27- We'll translate that later. - Come on over!

0:57:29 > 0:57:32- He's very excited. - Whoo!

0:57:32 > 0:57:35MUSIC: "Jing Jing" by Shoukichi Kina and Champloose

0:57:42 > 0:57:44Remember, Thursday morning,

0:57:44 > 0:57:46conference call with Nishamura and the board.

0:57:46 > 0:57:48You set things up, and we'll take it from there.

0:57:48 > 0:57:51Got it. Conference call Thursday, tee it up for the big guns.

0:57:52 > 0:57:54I just want to say thanks, you guys.

0:57:54 > 0:57:58Nobody's ever really believed in me the way that you two have.

0:57:58 > 0:58:01And it really means a lot to me. You guys are like...

0:58:02 > 0:58:07You're like the two dads that I never had. I really appreciate it.

0:58:07 > 0:58:11My two father figures. I'm going to do you proud.

0:58:11 > 0:58:14- All right. - Go To.

0:58:14 > 0:58:16- You don't want to be late. - Whoo!

0:58:16 > 0:58:19Look out, Japan. Here comes some serious business.

0:58:25 > 0:58:26MUSIC: "You and Me" by Lifehouse

0:58:31 > 0:58:33Oh, God help us.

0:58:33 > 0:58:36It was so cool, Mom. Dad taught me how to ride a two-wheeler,

0:58:36 > 0:58:39and then we got to hang out with the New York Mets!

0:58:39 > 0:58:42Let me talk to her. And Dad promised that he'd

0:58:42 > 0:58:44do something huge for our birthday this year.

0:58:44 > 0:58:46But he won't even tell us what it is.

0:58:46 > 0:58:47- Let me say hi to him. - EMILY: OK.

0:58:47 > 0:58:50Hey. I'm coming to get you tomorrow. No arguments.

0:58:50 > 0:58:53Tomorrow morning, I have the biggest conference call

0:58:53 > 0:58:55in my entire career, but after that I'm all yours.

0:58:55 > 0:58:59It's amazing. I left the kids with you out of desperation,

0:58:59 > 0:59:01but now I can't imagine having done it differently.

0:59:01 > 0:59:03Me too.

0:59:50 > 0:59:53Oh, great. This is a record.

0:59:53 > 0:59:57He unplugged a laptop, BlackBerry, lamp, an alarm cl...

0:59:58 > 1:00:00- Charlie! - What?

1:00:00 > 1:00:01- What?! - Conference call.

1:00:04 > 1:00:05- Let's go! - No, no, no.

1:00:05 > 1:00:07- My notes! - CHARLIE: No time!

1:00:09 > 1:00:14- In 3, 2, 1... - Kids! In the car!

1:00:17 > 1:00:20Just a second... Good...

1:00:23 > 1:00:24Nishamura-san.

1:00:24 > 1:00:27Please accept our sincere apology for the delay.

1:00:27 > 1:00:30We trust our colleague, Craig, has already begun the presentation.

1:00:30 > 1:00:33I'm afraid your colleague, Craig, has not been

1:00:33 > 1:00:36seen nor heard from since the moment he arrived.

1:00:36 > 1:00:38Really?

1:00:38 > 1:00:40He's just a little thing.

1:00:40 > 1:00:42He looks more like a little leprechaun in a business suit.

1:00:42 > 1:00:43- You can't miss him. - Red hair...

1:00:43 > 1:00:47He called me from the Ginza his first night,

1:00:47 > 1:00:51and all I heard was... MIMICS TECHNO BEATS

1:00:51 > 1:00:55Techno music... and something about the teachings of a karaoke master.

1:00:55 > 1:00:56TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS

1:00:57 > 1:00:59# Hey-hey #

1:00:59 > 1:01:02Ai! Ai! Ai!

1:01:02 > 1:01:05- Ah... - Nishamura Dan-san.

1:01:05 > 1:01:09I have the utmost respect for you, but an hour delay

1:01:09 > 1:01:13and a missing executive is not the way to begin a relationship.

1:01:13 > 1:01:15We will do anything to make it work out.

1:01:15 > 1:01:18We are there for you, Nishamura-san, 24/7.

1:01:18 > 1:01:23Good. That is what I hoped to hear. So, if we are to move forward,

1:01:23 > 1:01:27you and Charlie are the ones who must move here to Tokyo

1:01:27 > 1:01:29and be our liaison.

1:01:29 > 1:01:34That is my final and only offer.

1:01:40 > 1:01:44OK... Let's do this. Let's do this. Just do it.

1:01:50 > 1:01:53- Thank you. Oh! - Hey.

1:01:53 > 1:01:56Oh! Freedom. I can smell the air again.

1:01:58 > 1:02:00- How are the kids? - Great.

1:02:00 > 1:02:02- Maybe we should get going. - OK.

1:02:02 > 1:02:04MUSIC: "This Love Will Last" by Chris Isaak

1:02:04 > 1:02:09I just went with the motto, "Don't serve the time, let the time serve you."

1:02:09 > 1:02:13The truth is, Dan, most of what I was reflecting on was us.

1:02:13 > 1:02:14Really?

1:02:14 > 1:02:18And the way you've proven yourself to me with the kids.

1:02:18 > 1:02:20- Bless you. - Our kids.

1:02:20 > 1:02:24- Yeah. - Maybe you were right two weeks ago.

1:02:24 > 1:02:26Maybe it is time to give us another try.

1:02:28 > 1:02:30Really? LAUGHS

1:02:30 > 1:02:32VICKI SIGHS Timing.

1:02:32 > 1:02:33- Timing's perfect. - Timing.

1:02:33 > 1:02:35- Wow. - Wow.

1:02:46 > 1:02:49Where are they?

1:02:49 > 1:02:51- Oh, my babies. - Mom.

1:02:51 > 1:02:54Oh! I missed you so much.

1:02:54 > 1:02:57All right. I made you guys something.

1:02:57 > 1:03:00- TRUMPETING - Cool!

1:03:00 > 1:03:01Thanks, Mom.

1:03:01 > 1:03:03Don't worry, Charlie. I didn't forget you.

1:03:03 > 1:03:06I carved you a little soap bunny.

1:03:06 > 1:03:08Oh, Charlie.

1:03:08 > 1:03:10I'll strike that right off my Christmas list.

1:03:10 > 1:03:14Hey, that's a thoughtful gift. That's wonderful.

1:03:15 > 1:03:17We need to discuss something, though, as a family.

1:03:17 > 1:03:20- I'll give you a moment. - OK.

1:03:22 > 1:03:25DOG GRUNTING

1:03:27 > 1:03:31When you reappeared in my life, Charlie and I were in the middle of a deal

1:03:31 > 1:03:34that could be the culmination of our 30 years in this business.

1:03:35 > 1:03:40But in order to close that deal... I have to move to Japan.

1:03:42 > 1:03:44What about our birthday? The big party?

1:03:44 > 1:03:46I'm probably going to miss this one.

1:03:46 > 1:03:49But I'm going to try really hard and come back every six months.

1:03:49 > 1:03:52So I'll make the next one most likely, you know?

1:03:53 > 1:03:55What about what you said two weeks ago?

1:03:55 > 1:03:57What about trying to make us work?

1:03:57 > 1:04:02I meant that. I really did. But...

1:04:02 > 1:04:06But, Daddy, if you move to Japan, who will protect the kingdom?

1:04:09 > 1:04:11I know you wanted me to be a superhero, Emily.

1:04:11 > 1:04:14You all wanted me to be one.

1:04:14 > 1:04:17But I'm not. I wish I could be.

1:04:17 > 1:04:19I'd fly back and forth from Japan every day.

1:04:23 > 1:04:25I'm just a guy in marketing.

1:04:30 > 1:04:32I'm going to go pack the kids.

1:04:34 > 1:04:35I'm sorry, you guys.

1:04:50 > 1:04:52- Hello. Thank you. - May I take your bag?

1:04:52 > 1:04:54Why don't we think of this deal as our child.

1:04:54 > 1:04:57- Uh-huh. - Hello. Hi.

1:04:58 > 1:05:01I know you're upset about leaving, but we're going to fix it, OK?

1:05:01 > 1:05:04We're going to find somebody to replace Craig who's smarter,

1:05:04 > 1:05:07and in six months to a year, we're home. OK?

1:05:07 > 1:05:09- You think? - This time I just say to you,

1:05:09 > 1:05:12"Embrace it. People love Japan."

1:05:13 > 1:05:15- Want some? - No!

1:05:15 > 1:05:17- What? No? - No. No. OK.

1:05:17 > 1:05:21MUSIC: "Twiggy Twiggy" by Pizzicato 5

1:05:27 > 1:05:31CHARLIE: The truth is, I probably looked like the Joker from Batman.

1:05:31 > 1:05:33But I felt bad. These poor, sad people.

1:05:33 > 1:05:36Anyway, I'm the first guy to insult a bereavement group

1:05:36 > 1:05:38and still get the girl.

1:05:41 > 1:05:43That's Yankee ingenuity!

1:05:43 > 1:05:48Please, Charlie, show us that facial paralysis smile one more time.

1:05:55 > 1:05:58All right, do your thing, superstar.

1:05:58 > 1:05:59Thank you.

1:06:01 > 1:06:04The American sports market is a minefield,

1:06:04 > 1:06:05and what I'd like to do today

1:06:05 > 1:06:10is draw a map through that minefield so that...

1:06:15 > 1:06:18OK, Dan. Let's get going.

1:06:18 > 1:06:20- I accessed the wrong file. - COMPUTER BEEPING

1:06:20 > 1:06:22- Dad! - Hey, Dad.

1:06:24 > 1:06:26Um... A little technical...

1:06:28 > 1:06:30SPEAKS JAPANESE

1:06:30 > 1:06:33- I can do it from my notes. - OK.

1:06:42 > 1:06:46The first market segment is, um...

1:06:47 > 1:06:48Let's go.

1:06:50 > 1:06:55The idea of sports to a kid...

1:06:58 > 1:07:00CHARLIE: Dan, what's going on?

1:07:02 > 1:07:04How could you have tanked that meeting? The way I set you up,

1:07:04 > 1:07:08you could've told them we were hiring monkeys and they would have bought it!

1:07:08 > 1:07:09That was our dream, Dan!

1:07:09 > 1:07:13That was going to put us in the hall of fame of sports marketing.

1:07:13 > 1:07:14Go!

1:07:14 > 1:07:17Remember that USFL account we got? That would've been the one to tank!

1:07:17 > 1:07:20- Will you please shut up?! - Now you speak!

1:07:20 > 1:07:22- You want a piece of me? Bring it! - Bring it! Come on!

1:07:22 > 1:07:24All right! Sorry.

1:07:24 > 1:07:26How's this going to work out, snowball?

1:07:26 > 1:07:28I don't know, man tan. You'll be OK.

1:07:28 > 1:07:32You'll tap-dance your way into a brand-new job, still date 35-year-olds.

1:07:32 > 1:07:36You never grew up. You never had to. You always had me.

1:07:36 > 1:07:38BOTH GRUMBLING

1:07:38 > 1:07:40- God! - It is small enough!

1:07:40 > 1:07:42- Shut up, Charlie! - Made for a sardine.

1:07:42 > 1:07:45- I'm a big man. This is a little seat. - Yeah, you're a big ma...

1:07:45 > 1:07:48- Stop trying to change me, Charlie. - You know I can't do that.

1:07:48 > 1:07:51- Then I'm done. - Done with taking my advice?

1:07:51 > 1:07:53- Mmm-hmm. - Late-night rap sessions?

1:07:53 > 1:07:55But not done with the time-share in Vail.

1:07:55 > 1:07:57- No, I'm done with you. - BELL DINGS

1:07:57 > 1:07:59PA: Welcome aboard flight 9 to New York.

1:07:59 > 1:08:01We got 18 hours of flight time ahead of us,

1:08:01 > 1:08:05so turn to the person next to you and get to know them.

1:08:05 > 1:08:06It's going to be a long ride.

1:08:09 > 1:08:10Where you from?

1:08:12 > 1:08:15The whole trip was a bust from start to finish.

1:08:15 > 1:08:17Amanda, could I call you back?

1:08:17 > 1:08:20I got to pick up Lucky from the dog hotel. I'll call you.

1:08:21 > 1:08:24Where's my boy? Where's my boy?

1:08:24 > 1:08:29Lucky, come here, boy. Where's my goo-go!

1:08:29 > 1:08:30Where is he?

1:08:34 > 1:08:37- Where is he? - We tried to call.

1:08:37 > 1:08:39MUSIC: "As I'm Leavin'" by David Grey

1:08:45 > 1:08:47CHARLIE ON MACHINE: Hello, Daniel, it's Charlie.

1:08:47 > 1:08:50Thought you'd like to know that after 14 wonderful, fulfilling years together,

1:08:50 > 1:08:53my true best friend, Lucky, has passed.

1:08:53 > 1:08:56Maybe my life isn't as blessed as you paint it to be.

1:08:56 > 1:08:59I thought you'd like to know that the funeral is this Tuesday

1:08:59 > 1:09:02followed by a small, tasteful reception at my house.

1:09:02 > 1:09:04I'm indifferent as to whether you come.

1:09:04 > 1:09:05- MACHINE BEEPS - Gentlemen, it's Craig,

1:09:05 > 1:09:07and I'm back in New York.

1:09:07 > 1:09:08I know I messed up.

1:09:08 > 1:09:11I take full responsibility for the mistakes that I made.

1:09:11 > 1:09:14I'm not going to beg, and I won't call again.

1:09:14 > 1:09:16The truth is that I was a preemie.

1:09:16 > 1:09:20I was several weeks premature, and there was talk of oxygen deprivation.

1:09:20 > 1:09:22I'm not making excuses, but the doctor said...

1:09:22 > 1:09:24- MACHINE BEEPS - Idiot.

1:09:36 > 1:09:38Oh... SIGHS HEAVILY

1:09:38 > 1:09:41You know someone a bunch of years,

1:09:41 > 1:09:45and it's easy to forget that you were fortunate enough

1:09:45 > 1:09:48to have known them for even one day.

1:09:48 > 1:09:52And that was Lucky, to me. I mean, he was my friend.

1:09:52 > 1:09:56He... Well, even more important, he was my family.

1:09:56 > 1:09:58And where was I when he was breathing his last breath?

1:09:58 > 1:10:01In Japan, making a business deal.

1:10:02 > 1:10:05Is there anyone who would like to say anything about Lucky

1:10:05 > 1:10:08- before we say goodbye? - DAN: I would.

1:10:17 > 1:10:19I've had the great pleasure of being the other old dog

1:10:19 > 1:10:21in Charlie's life for the past 30 years.

1:10:22 > 1:10:25Like Lucky,

1:10:25 > 1:10:28I feel like a fortunate son of a gun to have Charlie as a friend.

1:10:33 > 1:10:34- You're so cute. - DOGS BARKING

1:10:34 > 1:10:36Here. A nice bowl of cold water.

1:10:36 > 1:10:38- I'm really glad you came, man. - Me too.

1:10:38 > 1:10:39It's really important to me.

1:10:41 > 1:10:43- I've said some things... - Please, don't go there.

1:10:43 > 1:10:45- I have to. - Why?

1:10:45 > 1:10:47You've always had faith in me, even when I didn't have faith in myself.

1:10:47 > 1:10:51You're not just my best friend, you're the best kind of friend.

1:10:51 > 1:10:54You're loyal, honourable...

1:10:54 > 1:10:57But? See I knew there was a "but." This is going to sting like a mother. Go.

1:10:57 > 1:10:59Aside from going into business with you,

1:10:59 > 1:11:02I've only made two good decisions in my entire life.

1:11:02 > 1:11:06Marrying Vicki and taking those kids.

1:11:06 > 1:11:08And those are the two most impulsive things I've done in my entire life,

1:11:08 > 1:11:11besides the tattoo, which, God willing, I'll get over one day.

1:11:11 > 1:11:15I feel another moment of Dan Rayburn impulsivity about to happen.

1:11:15 > 1:11:17Charlie, this is big. I'm talking about uprooting,

1:11:17 > 1:11:20change of scenery, the end of the business as we know it.

1:11:20 > 1:11:23Oh, Dan. We'll figure out the business. We always do.

1:11:23 > 1:11:28- Yeah, but... I have to get them back. - Nah. Absolutely not.

1:11:30 > 1:11:32We're going to get 'em back.

1:11:32 > 1:11:34Yeah. Yeah, little man.

1:11:45 > 1:11:49- Out of the way. Dad on a mission. - You guys aren't going to regret this.

1:11:49 > 1:11:52I'll do whatever it takes to get back into your good grace...

1:11:52 > 1:11:54You want to lighten up on the throttle, Sparky?

1:11:54 > 1:11:57- We got a zoo exit coming up here. - TYRES SCREECHING

1:11:57 > 1:11:59I'm not going to miss that birthday party.

1:11:59 > 1:12:01It's just great to get the Three Amigos back together again.

1:12:01 > 1:12:03BOTH: You're still on probation!

1:12:07 > 1:12:10- DAN: No, no. That's not a lock. - You open?

1:12:10 > 1:12:12Nah. Sorry, the zoo closes at 3:00 to new visitors.

1:12:12 > 1:12:15But my kids are in there. They're having a birthday party,

1:12:15 > 1:12:17and I have to be there because I'm Dad.

1:12:17 > 1:12:19Yeah. This is Dan Rayburn, superdad.

1:12:19 > 1:12:22Check on your list. R-A-Y-B-U-R-N.

1:12:22 > 1:12:26man Superdad is super late, all right? Rayburn? You know what?

1:12:26 > 1:12:29You don't even have the same last name as the birthday kids. Can't do it.

1:12:29 > 1:12:33- How does 3 big ones sound? - A little money, huh?

1:12:33 > 1:12:36Don't you ever hand me three dollars again.

1:12:36 > 1:12:38- Come on. You can let us... - You already have a kid there.

1:12:38 > 1:12:40- CHARLIE: It's fine. - I can't let you in.

1:12:40 > 1:12:43He's got a heart problem. He just wants to see his kids.

1:12:43 > 1:12:45- You shall not pass. - You're great at your job, man!

1:12:46 > 1:12:49Charlie, what are you doing?

1:12:50 > 1:12:52What are you thinking?

1:12:52 > 1:12:55Danny boy, I am going to get you into that party,

1:12:55 > 1:12:59at great risk to my perfect legal record.

1:12:59 > 1:13:01- CRAIG: Through here? - Oh, yeah. Here we go.

1:13:01 > 1:13:03- That's breaking and entering. No, no. - Bingo!

1:13:03 > 1:13:05- Don't do that. - Wait. Let me do it.

1:13:05 > 1:13:07- CHARLIE: Why? - I'll take the risk.

1:13:07 > 1:13:09OK. Go ahead.

1:13:10 > 1:13:12Yeah...

1:13:12 > 1:13:14- Come on. Come on. - I got it.

1:13:15 > 1:13:18- I need some help. I need help. - LOCK SNAPS

1:13:18 > 1:13:20- OK. - Go, Craig.

1:13:20 > 1:13:22- CRAIG: Me? OK. - Yeah, you first.

1:13:22 > 1:13:25- INDISTINCT CHATTERING - What's her name?

1:13:32 > 1:13:33- We made it. - We did it!

1:13:33 > 1:13:38Yeah! Can't keep Dan Rayburn out.

1:13:38 > 1:13:40Never doubt you, Charlie. Never.

1:13:40 > 1:13:42- We are in the zoo, guys. - All right, which way?

1:13:42 > 1:13:45A moat. I wonder what lives here.

1:13:45 > 1:13:47- ALL EXCLAIM - We're in the gorilla enclosure.

1:13:47 > 1:13:49- What? - Stand still.

1:13:49 > 1:13:52Hold still. Don't do it. Don't move.

1:13:52 > 1:13:54- Gorilla. Silverback gorilla. - Stay where you are.

1:13:54 > 1:13:57Don't look at him in the eyes. Just look away.

1:13:57 > 1:14:00If you don't see him, he doesn't see you. Back up to the tunnel.

1:14:00 > 1:14:02You have to be aggressive with the larger apes. I've read about this.

1:14:02 > 1:14:04- Back up to the tunnel. - No, no. No retreat.

1:14:04 > 1:14:08- Retreat. No, retreat. - You retreat, we are dead.

1:14:08 > 1:14:10He senses fear, he attacks. Be aggressive.

1:14:11 > 1:14:16- HOWLING - SHRIEKING

1:14:16 > 1:14:19ALL CONTINUE SHOUTING

1:14:21 > 1:14:24- CHARLIE: Food! - Don't provoke it! Charlie, no!

1:14:24 > 1:14:26Aah!

1:14:29 > 1:14:32- Oh! - DAN: Charlie!

1:14:32 > 1:14:35Aggression not working. Maybe we should be submissive.

1:14:35 > 1:14:38- Or run! - Every man for himself!

1:14:38 > 1:14:39Run! Go!

1:14:41 > 1:14:42Come on, Danny boy.

1:14:43 > 1:14:44- GRUNTING - UH-OH.

1:14:44 > 1:14:49- GROWLING - SHRIEKS

1:14:51 > 1:14:52BOTH YELL

1:14:59 > 1:15:02- We're alive! - CHITTERING

1:15:02 > 1:15:05- Penguins! - BOTH: Aw...

1:15:05 > 1:15:06- I love penguins. - Me too.

1:15:08 > 1:15:09ALL SCREECHING

1:15:10 > 1:15:13- Angry penguins! - Save yourself!

1:15:13 > 1:15:14Go to your kids!

1:15:15 > 1:15:17Ow! Ow! Ow!

1:15:19 > 1:15:21Charlie! Charlie!

1:15:22 > 1:15:25- I love you, Charlie! - Ooh!

1:15:28 > 1:15:31WHIMPERING

1:15:35 > 1:15:38SOFTLY: Help. Help. Help. Help. Help.

1:15:39 > 1:15:41Aahh...

1:15:42 > 1:15:45Everybody, it's cake time.

1:15:48 > 1:15:49Oh!

1:15:50 > 1:15:53- Birthday parties. Which way? - They're on Adventure Island.

1:15:53 > 1:15:55But the tunnel's closed. There's no way to get there from here.

1:15:55 > 1:15:59No, no. I got to get to that birthday party. Please.

1:16:01 > 1:16:02OK.

1:16:04 > 1:16:06- What are you doing? - Some little girl

1:16:06 > 1:16:08wants a superhero to fly into her birthday party.

1:16:08 > 1:16:11- Mom calls me, I show up. - Really?

1:16:14 > 1:16:16We're going to sing Happy Birthday.

1:16:18 > 1:16:20- How does this work? - You go up, you come down.

1:16:20 > 1:16:23- It's not rocket science, chief. - And it's safe?

1:16:23 > 1:16:26- Aah... Sure. - Oh.

1:16:28 > 1:16:31Daddy's coming. Yeah! Which way is the party?

1:16:31 > 1:16:33- Northwest! - You got it!

1:16:33 > 1:16:36- MAN: Go for it! - Yeah. Yeah!

1:16:39 > 1:16:42Killer penguins. Killer penguins!

1:16:43 > 1:16:45- Killer penguins! - DAN: Charlie!

1:16:45 > 1:16:48Dan! What's he doing up there?

1:16:48 > 1:16:51Ah, he wanted to be a superhero for his daughter's birthday.

1:16:51 > 1:16:54- He know what he's doing? - It's like a ride. Don't worry.

1:16:55 > 1:16:59Go, Danny boy! I'm the wind beneath your wings!

1:16:59 > 1:17:01There's no stopping Dan Rayburn!

1:17:03 > 1:17:05Did you see a little man? He's about yea-big.

1:17:05 > 1:17:08He's got reddish hair. He looks like a Hobbit.

1:17:08 > 1:17:11MOANING: Just go to your happy place!

1:17:11 > 1:17:16- Just go to a happy place! - BOTH: 1, 2, 3!

1:17:16 > 1:17:19I can fly!

1:17:19 > 1:17:22I can fly! Yes!

1:17:25 > 1:17:28Happy birthday, Zach and Emily!

1:17:30 > 1:17:32Look, guys, it's a superhero, just like you wanted.

1:17:32 > 1:17:35I'm coming, kids!

1:17:35 > 1:17:38- Oh, my gosh! Dan? - It's Dad!

1:17:38 > 1:17:40- It's me, Fatherman! - EMILY: Dad!

1:17:40 > 1:17:42DAN: Yeah!

1:17:42 > 1:17:43I knew it.

1:17:43 > 1:17:46That's right, kids. Believe what you see!

1:17:46 > 1:17:47MOTOR SPUTTERING

1:17:47 > 1:17:48- Isn't enough fuel. - Be careful!

1:17:48 > 1:17:51SCREAMING

1:17:59 > 1:18:01SINGS "All Out of Love"

1:18:11 > 1:18:13- GROWLING - RESUMES SINGING

1:18:16 > 1:18:19I'm so sorry. I just wanted to make an impact.

1:18:19 > 1:18:21Mission accomplished.

1:18:21 > 1:18:23I'm not that bad. It doesn't hurt. I don't need to go to the hospital.

1:18:23 > 1:18:26I just need to go home and sleep it off.

1:18:26 > 1:18:27- You want to go home? - Yeah.

1:18:27 > 1:18:29You're in Burlington. You know that, right?

1:18:29 > 1:18:32I know that. I rented a house a half mile from here.

1:18:34 > 1:18:35You moved here?

1:18:35 > 1:18:38Look, I know I loused it up for us romantically

1:18:38 > 1:18:41when I chose Japan over you.

1:18:41 > 1:18:45And after what happened in South Beach, that's pretty much unforgivable.

1:18:45 > 1:18:48But these guys weren't around in South Beach.

1:18:48 > 1:18:51Good timing or bad timing, I love them.

1:18:52 > 1:18:55I moved here so, whether they want to visit me or not,

1:18:55 > 1:18:58I could be closer to them.

1:18:58 > 1:19:01I'm not a superhero, kids. Maybe that's a good thing

1:19:01 > 1:19:03because, you know, superheroes are always off fighting crime.

1:19:03 > 1:19:06And I just want to be with you guys...

1:19:08 > 1:19:09forever, if you'll let me.

1:19:14 > 1:19:16Deal.

1:19:16 > 1:19:17You're on my oxygen!

1:19:18 > 1:19:20Aah!

1:19:49 > 1:19:50GROWLING

1:19:50 > 1:19:51SHRIEKING

1:19:52 > 1:19:55Long story short, he gets the kids, he gets his wife.

1:19:55 > 1:19:57And Nishamura calls and says,

1:19:57 > 1:19:59"We want a family man to represent a family business."

1:19:59 > 1:20:02Boom, 47 million in fees later,

1:20:02 > 1:20:04here we are on my best friend's boat going to Aruba.

1:20:04 > 1:20:07That is a true story. I mean, come on.

1:20:07 > 1:20:10Well, it's a good thing you brought us down here

1:20:10 > 1:20:13because the high seas are a dangerous mistress for these children.

1:20:13 > 1:20:18Excuse me. What are you doing to my boat? Oh, the safety squad? Why?

1:20:18 > 1:20:21It's my kid, OK? The fruit of my loins. And you just relax, OK?

1:20:21 > 1:20:23We're going to fix this boat so it's safe for her.

1:20:23 > 1:20:25Your baby's only three months old!

1:20:25 > 1:20:27- MOANING - Nick!

1:20:27 > 1:20:30- CHOKING - This is not a Sizzler!

1:20:30 > 1:20:32All right, so two weeks.

1:20:32 > 1:20:34Keep the office running smooth until the big guns get back.

1:20:34 > 1:20:36- That'll be my sole scope of work. - Now, Craig,

1:20:36 > 1:20:38no more karaoke. You are cut off.

1:20:38 > 1:20:41Not even in your own house. You can do it.

1:20:41 > 1:20:45- Go To! We're gonna miss you, Go To.

1:20:45 > 1:20:47- Hey, you guys are using my nickname.

1:20:50 > 1:20:52- Oh... - Nick?

1:20:52 > 1:20:54Listen. Are you good at puzzles?

1:20:54 > 1:20:58VICKI: Everybody take their seasickness pills? Come on, guys.

1:20:58 > 1:21:00Wow. Should we tell?

1:21:00 > 1:21:02I think I remember where they go.

1:21:03 > 1:21:04Yeah.

1:21:05 > 1:21:09All right, we got the bags stowed below. Seasickness pills

1:21:09 > 1:21:11have been distributed. Let's just get one bon voyage photo,

1:21:11 > 1:21:13and then we're ready to shove off, folks.

1:21:13 > 1:21:15All right, everyone get together for a picture.

1:21:15 > 1:21:17Big smiles. Let's look real happy.

1:21:17 > 1:21:20- CHARLIE: Today, Craig. - VICKI: Got it?

1:21:20 > 1:21:22Maybe not quite so happy.

1:21:22 > 1:21:24CAMERA CLICKS

1:21:25 > 1:21:27MUSIC: "Let My Love Open the Door" by Pete Townshend