0:04:11 > 0:04:17Enemy neutralised, ladies and gentlemen. Objective completed.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Very nice!
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Introducing your host, Dr Howard Marner,
0:04:29 > 0:04:32President of Nova Robotics.
0:04:53 > 0:04:59Strategic Artificially Intelligent Nuclear Transport or "SAINT".
0:05:08 > 0:05:14If the question is survival, then SAINT is the answer.
0:05:14 > 0:05:22It is adaptable to any deserts, Arctic wastes...
0:05:22 > 0:05:27Well, of course it's adaptable, because it's a robot.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Crush ice.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38Glass. Ice.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Gin. Tonic.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48A squeeze of lime...
0:05:49 > 0:05:55Your cocktail, Dr Marner. Thank you, Number Two! APPLAUSE
0:05:55 > 0:06:01Mm! Just the way I like it! Shaken but not stirred!
0:06:03 > 0:06:06THUNDER Oh, my.
0:06:06 > 0:06:13Well, one thing we can't control is the weather,
0:06:13 > 0:06:16so why don't we move into the lab?
0:06:40 > 0:06:44One more thing, Dr Marner... Yes, Senator?
0:06:44 > 0:06:51The man who designed them... Dr Crosby. When can we meet him?
0:06:51 > 0:06:56Soon. Maybe not today, but soon. Why not today? Flu.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59I do want to speak with him.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06I'll see what I can do. Would you, erm...excuse me?
0:07:06 > 0:07:10- STRONG ASIAN ACCENT: - Boot up motion control, please.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15- Where is he? I need him! Stat!- Excuse me, sir.
0:07:15 > 0:07:21- Crosby's hiding in the toilet, sir. - Public relations is everybody's job.
0:07:21 > 0:07:27- The crowds make him sick.- I want him here! I pay him to be here!
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Last time I see him he is vomiting.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34Well, clean him up and send him out! STAT!
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- Newton, come on, hurry up!- Mmm...
0:07:50 > 0:07:53You must make an appearance.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Marner says stat.
0:07:56 > 0:08:03- YOU go hobnob!- I am sick of wearing the dress in this family.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06PHONE RINGS
0:08:07 > 0:08:11MARNER: 'Crosby, don't hang up! I want...'
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Come on, Newton, you can do it!
0:08:14 > 0:08:20- Come on!- To tell them each robot costs 11 million and kills people?
0:08:20 > 0:08:25- A child could tell them that. - That's why they need you. Come on.
0:08:25 > 0:08:31- Just one dance.- I have to go to the jack.- The john.
0:08:31 > 0:08:40- Oh, yeah. You're doing real good. Just keep working on those last two bars.- Let's GO!
0:08:40 > 0:08:48Coming through, please. Wine coolers, Perrier, iced tea. Please take a drink.
0:08:48 > 0:08:55He'll tell you about the peacetime uses. Besides serving gin and tonic?
0:08:55 > 0:09:01The only way to secure the peace is to be prepared.
0:09:01 > 0:09:08We can parachute these robot guys behind enemy lines. They hide out till the first strike blows over.
0:09:08 > 0:09:15Each one carries a 25-megaton bomb right up Main Street, Moscow, like the mailman bringing bad news.
0:09:15 > 0:09:22We call it Operation Gotcha Last! That's what you call ensuring peace.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I think we're all thinking the same way.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28THUNDER
0:09:31 > 0:09:35Better get Number Five off that generator. >
0:09:35 > 0:09:38OK, OK. I'll get to it.
0:09:59 > 0:10:04What happened? I dunno!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Oh, my God! It's fried!
0:10:11 > 0:10:15I hope you've got a few million bucks to pay for the damage!
0:10:15 > 0:10:21Everything checks out. What?! Amazing!
0:10:21 > 0:10:28OK, robots. Verbal command. Report to disarming section.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29Go on!
0:10:54 > 0:11:02- The ultimate soldier!- Originally, I had non-military purposes in mind. I designed it as a marital aid.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07MARNER: Very funny.
0:11:07 > 0:11:16- Dr Crosby has designed a weapon to keep our world safe.- Howard, what's so safe about blowing people up?
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Coffee service coming through.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31Hmmm?Hot coffee.
0:11:34 > 0:11:41Coffee service coming through. Please watch your step.
0:11:41 > 0:11:46Mmm!Coffee service coming through. Please watch your step.
0:12:15 > 0:12:22Please serve yourself. Have a canape. Shrimp toast. Caviar. Pate.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Ah, our prototypes are here!
0:12:38 > 0:12:46- I've...only counted four. Tell me I've miscounted.- Gag me with a fork, sir. Number Five has disappeared.
0:12:46 > 0:12:53- Not today!- Afraid so.- Call Security. - I did, sir. Stat.- You did. Great. Just stay calm!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06How you doing?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Running late.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24Goddamn garbage cans! Garbage cans with guns!
0:13:24 > 0:13:33Have you got anything, Skroeder? I got trouble! And my wife is home, cooking me a steak...
0:13:33 > 0:13:35What's that? Right there! Coffee machine.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38You're right.
0:13:38 > 0:13:43Very good, Howard(!) Now, freeze this place!
0:13:43 > 0:13:46PHONE RINGS
0:13:46 > 0:13:49All right.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52There you go. PHONE RINGING
0:14:06 > 0:14:11- Where did you disappear to? - I was hobnobbing!- OK, OK.
0:14:11 > 0:14:17- Number Five was hit by a huge power surge.- Did you try the return code?
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Ohhhhhh!
0:14:32 > 0:14:37Ohhhh!
0:14:37 > 0:14:40'Strange. It won't talk to me.'
0:14:40 > 0:14:45- Are you sure Five is operational? - As far as I know.- Testing.- OK...
0:14:45 > 0:14:50- Just let me go get it! - Access code 42721.
0:14:50 > 0:14:57"Access gained. Number Five standing by!" Disappointed, hm?
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- Why the hell does it need input? - I guess it can't triangulate its position.
0:15:17 > 0:15:23- That's a simple function. - Can YOU do it?- No.- There you go!
0:15:23 > 0:15:28- Very funny(!) - Don't worry. You won't miss a meal.
0:15:32 > 0:15:37- "Unable. Malfunction."- How can it refuse to turn itself off?
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Anybody try the homing device yet? Hm? Hm?
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- ..No.- Come on, you guys! It's probably right down the hall!
0:15:46 > 0:15:52Here it comes, here it comes! And...bingo!!
0:15:52 > 0:15:56Good Lord! It's outside the fence!
0:15:56 > 0:15:59That is not the worst of it, Dr Marner.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- Is its laser still armed?!- Bimbo!!
0:16:03 > 0:16:08- What's it going to do? - It might not do anything.
0:16:08 > 0:16:13But it could decide to blow away anything that moves, couldn't it?
0:16:30 > 0:16:37- MARNER: It's not coming back. We've got to destroy it. - You can't.
0:16:37 > 0:16:45- Let's try to catch it first.- Yeah. - What if it melts down a busload of nuns? What headline would that make?
0:16:45 > 0:16:49- "Nun soup"?- Ben!
0:16:49 > 0:16:54Howard... OK, it's malfunctioning. But what a malfunction!
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Get your team together, Skroeder.
0:16:57 > 0:17:02Duke! Otis! Try to avoid an incident.
0:17:02 > 0:17:08And, Skroeder...you know you don't have to blow it up.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- Bring it back in one piece.- Please!
0:17:10 > 0:17:16Whatever it takes to put that stupid contraption out of commission... Yes, sir!
0:17:16 > 0:17:20SIRENS
0:17:26 > 0:17:33- Let's scramble instructions. Maybe it'll listen if it comes up to the decoder.- Good idea.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35What's this?
0:17:35 > 0:17:40- He's testing his logic circuits. - What's this? "Input, input, input."
0:17:40 > 0:17:44- Come on.- Return to D-station. Now!
0:17:53 > 0:17:59- What's going on?- He must be reading it someplace.- "A Pepper Too"?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Mmmm!
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Need input!
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Input!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Hmph!
0:18:37 > 0:18:42Did you see something? I hope not. I did.
0:18:42 > 0:18:43 Me too.
0:18:46 > 0:18:52It's right outside. Captain Skroeder! This is Bravo Four!
0:18:52 > 0:18:57He's right in front of us, sir! 'We're on our way.'
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Hey!
0:19:20 > 0:19:22HEY!
0:19:27 > 0:19:32- It's going berserk!- What's happened? - Who can read a robot's mind?
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Wheee!
0:19:49 > 0:19:52Ohhhh!
0:20:08 > 0:20:12You did this on purpose, Crosby!
0:20:12 > 0:20:18- Calm down.- We're losing its signal.- We need a vehicle.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22- Is there a van? - Of course there's a van!
0:20:22 > 0:20:26DOG BARKING
0:20:31 > 0:20:37- Thanks for calling me, Mrs Cepeda. - He's round there, and up to no good!
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Get down!
0:20:41 > 0:20:47- Hey!- What are you doing home? - This is MY home, not your home.
0:20:47 > 0:20:53- What's this?- Well...he looked kinda sick. I was taking him to the vet.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56He's fine! What are you doing here?
0:20:56 > 0:21:03I thought maybe we could patch things up, pick up where we left off.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- You know you want me back. - What's this?
0:21:07 > 0:21:11Medical research? You slime-bag!
0:21:11 > 0:21:16- The dog is on its last legs! - Get out!- You owe me some money.
0:21:16 > 0:21:24- I owe you?- Right.- I supported you! That was my money you used to buy your big red dorkmobile!- Dammit!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Hey! Hey! Do not hit that car!
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Get away from me!
0:21:33 > 0:21:40- All right, you want to play hard to get?- Let go, you mutation!
0:21:40 > 0:21:45- Don't call me that!- You don't even know what it means!- I can find out!
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Hey, you! You leave her alone!
0:21:54 > 0:21:59- Oh, honey! Are you OK, honey? - Yeah.- Are you sure?- I'm fine.
0:21:59 > 0:22:06- I thought he was different from the others.- Huh!- He's better-looking. - Well, looks aren't everything.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10I know THAT every time I look at Mr Cepeda!
0:22:10 > 0:22:15- The man from the City was here. - I told him it's temporary!
0:22:15 > 0:22:20- Just till I find them all homes. - He says four years isn't temporary.
0:22:20 > 0:22:28- He'll call the Sheriff.- Great. Maybe the Sheriff would like a pet. Beasley, come to me, baby!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34Did he scare you, honey?
0:22:34 > 0:22:41- I feel like I've been cooped up here for ever!- Time to spread your legs and smell the breezes, eh?
0:22:41 > 0:22:49- Has it changed outside? - You can say that two times. - Hurry up, you guys!
0:22:49 > 0:22:54- We're on our way, Howard!- Newton, aren't there girls out there?
0:22:54 > 0:23:00- Mmm!- With brassieres and legs. You have a working knowledge of girls?
0:23:00 > 0:23:05- No, but I've read about them. - I have some schematic drawings.
0:23:05 > 0:23:11- Who said you could take Number One? - Howard, we need protection!
0:23:11 > 0:23:17- So we've got 22 million dollars on the loose!- What about gas money?
0:23:21 > 0:23:26I'm sorry, I have to draw the line at snakes.
0:23:26 > 0:23:33I'm sure it would make a wonderful pet, but... Isn't there a Home for Cobras somewhere?
0:23:33 > 0:23:37- RATTLING > - Uh, can you hang on for a second?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Uh...can I call you back? Thanks.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Hey! Get out of there!
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Frank! Mr Scum-oh!
0:24:01 > 0:24:05I know you're in there!
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Get out! I'll call the cops!
0:24:22 > 0:24:23What are you deaf?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Oh, my God!
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Oh, I knew they'd pick me! I just knew it.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Hello?
0:24:49 > 0:24:54Well, I guess... Welcome to my planet!
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Oh, boy! Is this thrilling or what?
0:25:03 > 0:25:07Don't be scared. I'm a friend. Friend.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Do you know the word "friend"?
0:25:14 > 0:25:19Because that's what I am. I am a friend. So...
0:25:19 > 0:25:24here I come. Nice and extremely friendly.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40Hi!
0:25:40 > 0:25:43It's me! Um...
0:25:45 > 0:25:50So... This is Earth. I'm Stephanie Speck.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55No offence, but is that really you or are you inside a space suit
0:25:55 > 0:25:59just a brain in a little jar or something...?
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Malfunction.
0:26:02 > 0:26:07- You can talk!- Malfunction! Need input!
0:26:07 > 0:26:09Input. That's information.
0:26:11 > 0:26:18Listen, I am full of it. Why don't you come in and we can sit down and talk...
0:26:18 > 0:26:20Communicate. Input.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Come on.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30No... I mean come with me.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38Uh-uh. Come here.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Oh...
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Come here.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Come on.
0:26:50 > 0:26:55March! Heel! Giddy-up! Um... Forward!
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Forward!
0:26:57 > 0:27:02Forward! Forward! Come forward! That's good! That's really good!
0:27:02 > 0:27:09These are animals. Lower life forms. They're a bit skittish with strangers, aliens, whatever.
0:27:09 > 0:27:17- Malfunction! Need input! - Input. Right. Right. You got it. This is a house. We live inside it.
0:27:17 > 0:27:24- We have a floor. See?- Floor. - And the opposite of a floor is a ceiling!
0:27:24 > 0:27:31- Ceiling!- We have windows and, erm...air. And look over here!
0:27:32 > 0:27:36- Light! Music! - TURNS ON STEREO
0:27:36 > 0:27:44- Mmm!- And look at this! This is a plant! And these are goldfish! - Mmm!
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Don't touch!
0:27:47 > 0:27:51And look over there! See? These are ants.
0:27:51 > 0:27:56They're not aunts, they're ants. It's an ant farm.
0:27:56 > 0:28:01- Mmmm.- These are my bunnies! Edwina and Norman!
0:28:01 > 0:28:06- Norman.- I bet you've got some amazing animals on your planet!
0:28:06 > 0:28:11- Oooh!- Good! This is Earth! Where we are now. See?
0:28:11 > 0:28:18- You are...here. Here. Oregon. - Oregon.- Home of the beaver, famous for cherries...
0:28:18 > 0:28:24- Beavers. Cherries. Input! - I'm giving you input!- MORE input!
0:28:24 > 0:28:31How about pictures? Do you like pictures? We have a lot of pictures here. A lot of them.
0:28:31 > 0:28:36This is a picture of, um... of an aardvark.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40See that? It's a mammal.
0:28:40 > 0:28:46- Input! Aardvark. Abyssinia. Adams, John...- You can read!
0:28:49 > 0:28:52Ah! Input! MORE input!
0:28:52 > 0:28:57OK! No problem! Um...Volume Two! No problem!
0:29:04 > 0:29:11- Ohh!- Sorry.- This is very healthful for the neck.- Can you believe it's five years since I've driven?
0:29:11 > 0:29:19- I would say ten.- It's all coming back to me, though.- You know what people like at night? Headlights!
0:29:20 > 0:29:25- Oh, yeah! That's a lot better! Thanks!- Definitely.
0:29:25 > 0:29:31NUMBER FIVE READS ALOUD AT TOP SPEED
0:29:33 > 0:29:40- Ahhh! More input, Stephanie! MORE !- There isn't any more! You've read everything in here!
0:29:40 > 0:29:46- Oooh! Animal! Mammal! Skunk! - Oh...
0:29:46 > 0:29:48Glass!
0:29:48 > 0:29:53- Pasta! Semolina! Spaghetti! - That's very good...
0:29:53 > 0:29:58- Spaghetti sauce!- Look, on this planet that isn't polite!
0:29:58 > 0:30:04Oooh! Plant! Fruit! Oranges! Apples! Lemons! Limes!
0:30:04 > 0:30:07- Thanks a lot(!)- Tablecloth!
0:30:08 > 0:30:11Not my dishes!
0:30:12 > 0:30:17- Table American contemporary! - Oh...! My china!
0:30:17 > 0:30:24- Numerous fragments some large, some small.- OK, watch this.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29- See that?- Input!- Right! Input!
0:30:31 > 0:30:37OK, here. You hold this. That's very good. And stay! Stay!
0:30:37 > 0:30:44'At Alaska Airlines, our people go out of their way to show you they're only human.'
0:30:49 > 0:30:55Hey, with your permission I know no-one will believe me, so...
0:30:56 > 0:30:59- Mmm!- Wow!
0:31:07 > 0:31:11Woop woop woop woop!
0:31:11 > 0:31:13Input!
0:31:13 > 0:31:19This is a barrel of monkeys! Let's go scrape up some female chicks!
0:31:19 > 0:31:24- What about the robot?- Pardon me, but you are becoming a drag strip.
0:31:24 > 0:31:27Well, girls are not my best suit.
0:31:27 > 0:31:31We have a saying: "Market is dull home for rodents."
0:31:31 > 0:31:39- Where are you from, anyway? - Bakersfield.- I mean your ancestors. - Oh, them. Pittsburgh.
0:31:44 > 0:31:47MUSIC BLARING
0:31:47 > 0:31:52'It's the Colgate pump! With MFP Fluoride!'
0:31:53 > 0:31:58'It's a lie! I didn't do it, Tony! We're pals! Owww!'
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Mmm!
0:32:00 > 0:32:05'Tony, you're the last guy I'd try to cross!
0:32:05 > 0:32:08'Give me a chance, Tony!'
0:32:08 > 0:32:13Have you been watching all night? Come on!
0:32:16 > 0:32:19Don't get up, I'll tidy up(!)
0:32:19 > 0:32:24Haven't you had enough? You lose IQ points the longer you watch.
0:32:27 > 0:32:33You're going to become the first alien couch potato! Give me that!
0:32:33 > 0:32:36'When it says Orida it's All Right-a!'
0:32:43 > 0:32:52- Have a heart!- "Have a Heart!" "Don't Cry, Little Girl!" Dozens of hits in a double album!
0:32:52 > 0:32:58Are you sick of bills piling up? Try "Accountant in a Can"!
0:32:58 > 0:33:01You didn't come to do commercials!
0:33:02 > 0:33:08Come on, there's something I want to show you outside. Come on.
0:33:08 > 0:33:14- Bird! Raven! Nevermore! - Now look... Look. Look.
0:33:14 > 0:33:18- Mmmmm! Look!- No, no! THERE!
0:33:18 > 0:33:20- See?- Ohh!
0:33:20 > 0:33:29- Beautiful! Light bulb! - No. Sun.- Beautiful! No sun!
0:33:29 > 0:33:35- Beautiful sun. - Beautiful rhinoceros! Turtle!
0:33:35 > 0:33:39Volkswagen!
0:33:39 > 0:33:43- You mean that little fat one? - Mmmm!
0:33:44 > 0:33:50Beautiful animal! Mammal! Canine! Dog! Mutt!
0:33:51 > 0:33:55- Beasley!- Beasley!
0:33:55 > 0:34:00- GROWLING - Ehh?- Beasley, stop it!
0:34:00 > 0:34:04- No-o-o! - Beasley, stop it! Look out!
0:34:08 > 0:34:10Are you all right?
0:34:12 > 0:34:15Oh, are you OK? Say something!
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Beautiful Stephanie!
0:34:27 > 0:34:30You're a robot?!
0:34:30 > 0:34:33- Yes.- I thought you were alive!
0:34:33 > 0:34:39I let you tear my house apart! God, I'm so stupid!
0:34:39 > 0:34:43- Stupid! Foolish! Gullible! - Shut up.
0:34:43 > 0:34:47- Shut up! Silence! Sit on it! - Am I a jerk!
0:34:47 > 0:34:51Jerk! Turkey! Idiot!
0:34:51 > 0:34:56I hope you're programmed to pay for the mess you made!
0:34:56 > 0:35:02Maybe there's a reward! I could have as many animals as I want!
0:35:02 > 0:35:06Can I speak to the head warmonger?
0:35:06 > 0:35:11Dr Warmonger er, Marner. This may be something.
0:35:14 > 0:35:19- Hello?- 'Hello, I'd like you to know that I have one of your robots.'
0:35:19 > 0:35:21Oh, God... OHHH!
0:35:21 > 0:35:26Oh, good! Yes! Uh... Oh, yeah! Well, listen...
0:35:26 > 0:35:31Thank you very much for calling! Our people are on the way.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35WHISTLE Head out! We've got it!
0:35:35 > 0:35:40Move! Move! Move! Today, gentlemen! Today! Let's go!
0:35:45 > 0:35:50Ben, we got to go! Let's go! Let's go!
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Now, try to keep a safe distance.
0:35:52 > 0:35:58- How safe a distance?- Oh...well... See, it's malfunctioning.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02And we have to disassemble it and check it out.
0:36:02 > 0:36:10It's a goofy little gadget. Just try to keep as far away as possible. Not that it's dangerous or anything.
0:36:10 > 0:36:18- How much is it worth, anyway? - Worth? Oh, a few hundred dollars. - There's no reward for finding it?
0:36:18 > 0:36:22Well... We do have a daily tour of our facilities.
0:36:22 > 0:36:27- 'I could get you a student discount.' - Hey! It's gone!
0:36:27 > 0:36:32Gone?Woolly mammals! Sheep! Source of sweaters!
0:36:32 > 0:36:35Oh, I see it!
0:36:38 > 0:36:41Hey, you! Number Five!
0:36:41 > 0:36:49- You'll scare my animals, bozo! They're coming. They'll give you a tune-up.- Tune-up? Input!
0:36:49 > 0:36:52They'll take you apart...
0:36:52 > 0:36:57- Apart? Undone! Dismantle! Dissect! Disassemble!- Right.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01- Jump!- Oh, look! It's a grasshopper!
0:37:01 > 0:37:06Grasshopper! Orthopterous insect! Jump!
0:37:06 > 0:37:09Oh, that's great! OK!
0:37:12 > 0:37:17- All right, let's go back now. Hey! - Hmmm?
0:37:19 > 0:37:25- Dammit, you klutz!- Error. Grasshopper disassembled.
0:37:25 > 0:37:32- Reassemble.- Huh?- Reassemble. - I can't! He's dead!
0:37:32 > 0:37:34Dead?
0:37:34 > 0:37:40- Right. Dead as a doornail. - Reassemble, Stephanie! Reassemble!
0:37:42 > 0:37:47I know you don't understand, but when you're dead, you're dead.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50Dead is for ever.
0:37:53 > 0:37:57Squash...dead.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00Disassemble. Dead...
0:38:00 > 0:38:04Disassemble...? DEAD!!
0:38:05 > 0:38:07Hey!
0:38:07 > 0:38:10No disassemble!
0:38:12 > 0:38:19- Flee! Escape!- Oh, my God. Get out of my truck! Let me in!
0:38:19 > 0:38:22Let me in!
0:38:32 > 0:38:36- ENGINE ROARS - No! Don't!
0:38:45 > 0:38:50Come back with my truck, you hunk of tin!
0:39:05 > 0:39:10You'd better be insured, cos I'll sue!
0:39:19 > 0:39:22Uh-oh!
0:39:27 > 0:39:32I'm seeing a blip on my scope! Drive slowly.
0:39:34 > 0:39:39- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. - It is moving at extreme velocipede!
0:39:47 > 0:39:54- To the right of the line! - Right! Accurate! Proper! Correct!
0:39:54 > 0:39:57No!! My side! The right!
0:40:01 > 0:40:04Look out!
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Oh, God!
0:40:07 > 0:40:11- HORN HONKING - No!
0:40:13 > 0:40:17- Where is she going? - Go figure out chicks!
0:40:17 > 0:40:20Look out!
0:40:24 > 0:40:27- Nice work, can-head(!)- Sorry!
0:40:30 > 0:40:32Oh, no!
0:40:32 > 0:40:35Stop it now! Stop! Turn left!
0:40:37 > 0:40:39TURN!
0:40:40 > 0:40:44- Fish!- Oh, no!- Salmon! Sushi!
0:40:44 > 0:40:49- We're going to be killed! - Disassembled?- Yes!
0:40:49 > 0:40:52Disassembled? NO!
0:40:56 > 0:40:59Escape! Escape!
0:40:59 > 0:41:05- Flee! Hide! Refuge! - What are you afraid of?
0:41:05 > 0:41:10Nova Robotics! Disassemble Number Five! Dead!
0:41:10 > 0:41:15- You can't die. You're a machine. - No.- You're not a machine?
0:41:15 > 0:41:21- Yes!- Yes, you are? Yes, you're not?- Yes.- Yes what?- Yes not!
0:41:21 > 0:41:27- Talk about a malfunction! - Not malfunction, Stephanie.
0:41:27 > 0:41:32Number Five...is alive!
0:41:33 > 0:41:39Just keep going straight. OK, OK... We're getting closer.
0:41:39 > 0:41:42- I can sense it.- There they are!
0:41:45 > 0:41:51Nova. Disassemble Number Five! Dead!
0:41:51 > 0:41:54Girlie! Girlie, come quick! Danger!
0:41:54 > 0:41:58No! No disassemble Number Five!
0:41:59 > 0:42:03- Come on! - What planet is this guy from?
0:42:03 > 0:42:06No disassemble!
0:42:06 > 0:42:11Oh, Number Five, don't be scared! I'll be right back.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17Eeeh!
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Come on, Number One. Very good.
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Oh, Jeez! Another one!
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Oh, you are girl, right?
0:42:27 > 0:42:34As far as I know. Hi! Your little brother's hiding in my truck.
0:42:34 > 0:42:40I have seen some strange drivers, but you will be awarded a cake!
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Me? Your robot did the driving!
0:42:42 > 0:42:47- Did you say the robot drove? - That's right, chum!
0:42:47 > 0:42:54- You cannot hold your water with that story.- I was there, OK? - Did you steer?
0:42:54 > 0:43:03- Yeah, I like driving off cliffs(!) - My robot can't drive.- Calling me a liar?- No! Maybe you have amnesia.
0:43:05 > 0:43:12- Come on! - What are these guys used for? - It is top-secret.- I figured.
0:43:12 > 0:43:17- Dr Love, I'd like my robot back. - He knows that, but he's scared.
0:43:17 > 0:43:25- It's a machine, it doesn't get scared. It just runs programs. - Yeah? How do you explain THAT?
0:43:28 > 0:43:31You see?
0:43:31 > 0:43:36- He's scared that he's going to die! - Where'd you hear that?- He told me!
0:43:36 > 0:43:43- Talk to him!- I'm trying to! - With your mouth! Number Five!
0:43:43 > 0:43:46- Come on out!- Is it cool?
0:43:46 > 0:43:51- It's OK. They're friends. - No disassemble?
0:43:51 > 0:43:54No. They just want to talk to you.
0:43:59 > 0:44:04- Come forward. Remember "forward"? - Forward.
0:44:04 > 0:44:13- I can't believe it! - I am standing here beside myself! - OK, now tell them what you told me.
0:44:13 > 0:44:17Number Five not just robot... < WHISTLE
0:44:17 > 0:44:21THERE IT IS! MOVE OUT!
0:44:24 > 0:44:28GO! GO! TODAY, GENTLEMEN! TODAY!
0:44:29 > 0:44:33- Down, girlie!- Are you nuts?
0:44:33 > 0:44:37SKROEDER: Look out! He's going to shoot!
0:44:40 > 0:44:43No! Stop! I have clearance!
0:44:43 > 0:44:49- Bend down!- Quit that!- You think I'm doing this for self-gratification?
0:45:04 > 0:45:07Yay! Go!
0:45:17 > 0:45:20- No! No! Stop!- Stephanie!
0:45:23 > 0:45:29- They're killing him!- Hold your fire! - Dammit, stop! Hold your fire!
0:45:29 > 0:45:30Hold your fire!
0:45:32 > 0:45:35Number Five alive!
0:45:35 > 0:45:38- Oww!- Stephanie!
0:45:38 > 0:45:44- Oh, Number Five! I'm sorry! - Stephan...ie...
0:45:44 > 0:45:49- You're paralysing him!- I cut all its power. You can load it up.
0:45:49 > 0:45:54- Wait! Where are you taking him? - I want you guys to...
0:45:54 > 0:46:02It is only being wires and several mechanisms, for the Pete of sake! For the sake of Pete!
0:46:02 > 0:46:09You have to turn him back on! He was talking like a real person!
0:46:09 > 0:46:16- If something is broken, I fix it, OK?- OK, fix it, Einstein(!) - I plan to. And it's Newton Crosby.
0:46:16 > 0:46:20- Stephanie Speck.- Nice meeting you. - Same here.
0:46:20 > 0:46:26- Ben, make sure they do not switch off the memory, OK?- Absolutely.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29I enjoyed throwing you to the ground.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32- Namaste.- Mm-hm.- Stat.
0:46:32 > 0:46:37- You can call me.- Call you? - To let me know if Number Five's OK.
0:46:37 > 0:46:42- Oh. OK, maybe. - Don't do me any favours, Jack(!)
0:46:51 > 0:46:57There we are, on Mount St Helens, and we've got two flat tyres!
0:46:57 > 0:47:04- Now, Hazel's running around the parking lot.- Hazel...?
0:47:04 > 0:47:07- The wife.- Funny American name!
0:47:07 > 0:47:12Yeah, it's not one you hear much. She's the only Hazel I know.
0:47:12 > 0:47:18Well, except for witch hazel, who I think she's named after.
0:47:18 > 0:47:22- I thought it was a nut. - It's a family name.
0:47:22 > 0:47:30They're from Europe. There's always been a Hazel. In the family, I mean, not in Europe.
0:47:32 > 0:47:34She runs around the parking lot...
0:47:34 > 0:47:41She's showing people her ID to prove her cheques are good!
0:47:41 > 0:47:46She was even trying to swap some souvenirs we got on the way up,
0:47:46 > 0:47:52- all of which were made from volcano ash!- Did you get some ash?
0:47:54 > 0:47:59So, of course, nobody's going to sell her a spare tyre...
0:48:15 > 0:48:18Will you get to the point?
0:48:47 > 0:48:50Shhh! Sir...
0:48:50 > 0:48:54- Yes, sir?- Sir...- Oh, my goodness!
0:48:54 > 0:49:00- Can he shoot us with that laser? - I am not knowing!- Shall I stop?
0:49:00 > 0:49:06- Who knows?- Shall I go on? - Again I am shrugging.- I'm stopping.
0:49:08 > 0:49:14- Good choice!- Number Five furious! Livid! Perturbed!- Hold it!
0:49:15 > 0:49:22OWWW !Colt .45. Semi-automatic! Play-Doh!
0:49:22 > 0:49:27- What now?- I don't know about you, but I'm planning to scream and run.
0:49:27 > 0:49:33- Good answer! - Aggggh! Aggggh!
0:49:37 > 0:49:40What is he doing?
0:49:47 > 0:49:52HUMS "THE HALLS OF MONTEZUMA"
0:50:09 > 0:50:11Uh-oh!
0:50:13 > 0:50:19Oh, very good! Very good! You earned that one!
0:50:35 > 0:50:38Hi, honey. What is for dinner?
0:50:46 > 0:50:49Hmmm!
0:50:59 > 0:51:01Bingo!
0:51:07 > 0:51:13RADIO: 'Lucky is seventh and Pacer is in the rear!
0:51:13 > 0:51:16'Double Trouble, making a move!'
0:51:18 > 0:51:25'..serving the devil!' COUNTRY MUSIC Hmmm.
0:51:25 > 0:51:30# There she goes... # Mmmm!
0:51:30 > 0:51:35# And when she says "Who is Johnny?"
0:51:35 > 0:51:43# Games that girl is playing All she says is Who is Johnny?
0:51:43 > 0:51:48# Try to understand because I'm people too!
0:51:48 > 0:51:51# And playing games is part of human nature
0:51:51 > 0:51:54# My heart's in overdrive
0:51:54 > 0:51:58# It's great to be alive! "Who's Johnny?" she said
0:51:58 > 0:52:03# And smiled in her special way "Johnny," she said... #
0:52:12 > 0:52:16Ready! Aim!
0:52:16 > 0:52:18What's up?
0:52:19 > 0:52:24I hope you took the grass out of the glove compartment! Hello, Officer.
0:52:24 > 0:52:29Maybe if it was programmed to think it was alive...
0:52:29 > 0:52:34- Maybe...- Maybe we have created another Frankfurter's monster.
0:52:34 > 0:52:42- I can HEAR my blood pressure! - Howard, this is incredible! - It's a red alert.- There's no danger!
0:52:42 > 0:52:50- We'll find Number Five and get some answers.- There's only one answer. - Right(!) Blast it to bits!- Doctor!
0:52:50 > 0:52:53- How many kids have you got?- None.
0:52:53 > 0:53:01Well, I got three! Three dandy little Skroeders! And I want them to be adults, not barbecue!
0:53:01 > 0:53:05I'll alert the media. Skroeder handles it. Stay at your terminal.
0:53:05 > 0:53:08This is ridiculous. Think of it as a full-scale field test!
0:53:08 > 0:53:11- Leave your terminal, you're fired. - Howard, we need roadblocks.
0:53:11 > 0:53:17I'll need some Hueys. Some what? Helicopters, Howard! Jesus!
0:53:17 > 0:53:22Not "choppers"? No. "Hueys". Why wasn't I notified?
0:53:24 > 0:53:28(OK, Ben. This is the plan.)
0:53:28 > 0:53:30KNOCK AT DOOR
0:53:38 > 0:53:44Stephanie Speck? Tell us about the robot! Were you scared?
0:53:44 > 0:53:49- 'No. No.- Did he try to molest you in any way?- No, he's not that kind of a robot!
0:53:49 > 0:53:57- 'Did you know there's a 25,000 reward offered?- No. Leave me alone!'
0:53:57 > 0:54:05Yeah, you know where it is. And for 25,000, I'm damn well going to know where it is too!
0:54:07 > 0:54:10KNOCKING
0:54:10 > 0:54:13Frank?
0:54:15 > 0:54:20Is that you, Frank? I'm warning you! I'm armed and dangerous!
0:54:24 > 0:54:27Disguise! Camouflage! Hi!
0:54:27 > 0:54:31- Number Five! You got away?- Yup!
0:54:31 > 0:54:37- You can't stay here. They'll find you.- Stephanie change colour!
0:54:38 > 0:54:40Uh...
0:54:40 > 0:54:43Alive! Number Five alive!
0:54:43 > 0:54:47The guys who built you say no way.
0:54:47 > 0:54:53But it's not safe for you here, so go on, get out of here. Go on.
0:54:53 > 0:54:55Mmm. Solitude.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57Isolation.
0:54:57 > 0:55:01- Alone!- Oh, Number Five, come on!
0:55:01 > 0:55:04Lonely!
0:55:04 > 0:55:08If I went to jail, who would take care of my animals?
0:55:10 > 0:55:15- What are you doing? - A can of soup! A meal in itself!
0:55:15 > 0:55:21- OK, you can stay. Just for tonight. - Excellent!- If they catch you...
0:55:21 > 0:55:24- I do not know you.- You got it!
0:55:24 > 0:55:30- OK, Ben.- I've never stolen a vehicle.- Kind of exciting, huh?
0:55:30 > 0:55:36- With excitement like this, who needs enemas?- Look, Ben... Agh!
0:55:36 > 0:55:45- Dr Marner!- I knew you'd try this. You won't make it. There are soldiers with bazookas out there.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49You're a scientist. You understand.
0:55:49 > 0:55:54- I'm a businessman now.- 20 years ago you would have chauffeured us!
0:55:54 > 0:55:58Times have changed.
0:55:59 > 0:56:04- Let's get back upstairs.- Come on, Newton. Let us punch the sack.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06- Tomorrow is the next day.- No.
0:56:08 > 0:56:09No!
0:56:09 > 0:56:12No! I'm going!
0:56:12 > 0:56:15- So shoot me.- Don't think I won't.
0:56:15 > 0:56:21- Howard, you know you're bluffing. - Rama, Lord Rama, grant my wish.
0:56:21 > 0:56:25- All right, I'm bluffing.- Thank you!
0:56:25 > 0:56:28- Let's get out of here.- Very good.
0:56:28 > 0:56:33- The doors are electronically sealed. - Don't be too sure.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39Then you'll have to drive over me.
0:56:39 > 0:56:45- That's fine by me.- This is going to be messy.- It's how I get big bucks.
0:56:54 > 0:56:58LOUD MUSIC: "You Should Be Dancing" by the Bee Gees
0:57:16 > 0:57:19Yeah!
0:57:19 > 0:57:21Whee-ee!
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Whoo-oo-oo!
0:57:45 > 0:57:47Yeah.
0:57:47 > 0:57:52Oh, very good! Great.
0:57:52 > 0:57:57- Oh. Hey, thanks. - Turn off the TV. It's time for bed.
0:57:57 > 0:58:02No. MUSIC CHANGES TO "More Than A Woman"
0:58:02 > 0:58:04Mmmmm!
0:58:04 > 0:58:12- No, turn off the TV. It's bedtime. - Come on, Steph, lighten up. Let's give it a whirl.
0:58:12 > 0:58:17- Hey!- Yeah! - Listen, you, it's 3am.
0:58:17 > 0:58:24- It's early!- Don't you ever get enough? Wrestling, roller derby, the Three Stooges, give it a rest.
0:58:24 > 0:58:32- Larry, Curly, Moe! - You know, you're not a bad dancer! - Dancing fool.
0:58:35 > 0:58:43- Big finish!- Right. Then I'm going to bed, and tomorrow you have to find a new home.
0:58:43 > 0:58:49- This home. Stephanie home. - You don't know what you're saying.
0:58:49 > 0:58:52Number Five know.
0:58:58 > 0:59:01#More than a woman
0:59:01 > 0:59:07- #- More than a woman to me!- # - Oh, Number Five!
0:59:23 > 0:59:26LARRY: # I'll croon...
0:59:26 > 0:59:29# a little song about the moon.
0:59:29 > 0:59:34# When I'm finished with my crooning on my knees I'll fall.
0:59:34 > 0:59:39# My life, # My love, # My all. #
0:59:39 > 0:59:43OK, to make these golden, fluffy pancakes,
0:59:43 > 0:59:48add flour, milk and eggs.
0:59:55 > 0:59:58Mix thoroughly.
0:59:59 > 1:00:01Ooh!
1:00:02 > 1:00:05Still lumpy.
1:00:10 > 1:00:17Marvellous! For crisp yet moist potatoes, brown on one side, then turn over.
1:00:20 > 1:00:24Mm! This'll be some good slop.
1:00:24 > 1:00:29- Is something burning?- Morning! - Ah, Number Five, good morning.
1:00:29 > 1:00:35- Sleep well?- You're making me breakfast!- Pancake surprise.
1:00:35 > 1:00:37Oh, Number Five, you're so sweet.
1:00:37 > 1:00:40Oh, no!
1:00:40 > 1:00:44- DOG IS BARKING - It's the Revenge of the Mutation.
1:00:44 > 1:00:52- Why don't you turn that stove off and I'll be right back? - Wait! It'll get cold.
1:00:52 > 1:01:00- What are you doing here, creep? - Good morning. I saw you on the news last night.- I'm a big celebrity.
1:01:00 > 1:01:07- Don't you know that there's a reward out for that robot? 25,000. - Why don't you get off my property?
1:01:17 > 1:01:20- Now, Steph...- Leave me alone!
1:01:20 > 1:01:28- Where is it?- Get out of here before I call the cops. - Stephanie, breakfast! Pancakes.
1:01:28 > 1:01:3325,000. Don't worry, we'll split it. Twenty for me, five for you.
1:01:33 > 1:01:41You've got to talk computer to him or he won't move an inch. Number Five, this is Frank.
1:01:41 > 1:01:45How, robot. Me friend.
1:01:45 > 1:01:48- Mm?- Talk computer, not Apache.
1:01:48 > 1:01:51Fresh OJ? Not from concentrate.
1:01:53 > 1:01:55Thanks.
1:01:55 > 1:02:00What do you say we jump in my car, take a ride? I'll take you home.
1:02:00 > 1:02:04- Tell him where home is.- Uh...Nova.
1:02:05 > 1:02:09- Nova? No! No disassemble! - Number Five, run!
1:02:09 > 1:02:15- Come on, treads, don't fail me! - Run! Get away now!- Get off of me!
1:02:15 > 1:02:19- You tricked me! - Don't I get 5,000?
1:02:19 > 1:02:24Forget it! He can go 30 miles an hour, you big, stupid jerk!
1:02:24 > 1:02:30- You'll help me catch it.- No, I'd rather die first.- Where's my car?
1:02:31 > 1:02:32Hi!
1:02:37 > 1:02:40Piece of cake!Oh, my God!
1:02:40 > 1:02:44- My car!- Way to go, Number Five! - Uh-oh!
1:02:47 > 1:02:49No!
1:02:49 > 1:02:52Number Five, look out!
1:02:52 > 1:02:56"JOHN WAYNE":Hey, pilgrim, that nearly parted my hair.
1:02:56 > 1:03:01If you want to play rough, I can sure oblige ya.
1:03:02 > 1:03:07How can he do that? Ha ha ha ha ha!
1:03:09 > 1:03:16"GEORGE RAFT": Frankie, you broke the unwritten law. You ratted on your friends.
1:03:16 > 1:03:25When you do that, Frankie, your enemies don't respect ya and you got no friends no more.
1:03:26 > 1:03:29- Pretty good, huh? - Unbelievable!
1:03:29 > 1:03:32Look out!
1:03:32 > 1:03:36O-o-h! How about that, a goddamned robot!
1:03:36 > 1:03:39Stephanie, get off me!
1:03:39 > 1:03:45Stephanie, that's it. Not disassemble Stephanie.
1:03:47 > 1:03:49No!
1:03:56 > 1:03:59Oo-ooh!
1:03:59 > 1:04:02Woo-oo-oo!
1:04:13 > 1:04:15I'm calling Nova and the cops.
1:04:15 > 1:04:22- And you'd better not come crawling back to me, because it's over!- Good!
1:04:22 > 1:04:25They'll be after you. We got to get out of here.
1:04:29 > 1:04:34Now I have no job to speak about. I will have to smack the sidewalk.
1:04:34 > 1:04:40- That won't happen, because we're going to find Number Five. - Very good.
1:04:40 > 1:04:45- 'That's right, Howard. Same woman.' - It's Scrotum.- Skroeder.- Same thing.
1:04:45 > 1:04:51'All roads are blocked except a back road into the hills. Go there.'
1:04:54 > 1:04:57Where the hell are we?
1:04:57 > 1:05:02- New York City.- I don't think so. Try the other side.- OK.
1:05:02 > 1:05:09- Oh, Texaco.- Great. Well, I'm lost. I don't know where to go.
1:05:09 > 1:05:16- Strategy.- What about it? - Need some. Quick.- We need somebody to make those bozos listen.
1:05:16 > 1:05:22- Not bozos.- What? - ONE bozo. Newton Crosby PhD.
1:05:22 > 1:05:26- Hey, he's the enemy. He can't help. - Couldn't hurt!
1:05:26 > 1:05:34I see why Number Five took a liking to her, if it had that capability. I mean, she's kind of pretty.
1:05:34 > 1:05:37- 'Crosby?'- It's Howard.
1:05:37 > 1:05:43- How's your back?- I just swore out some warrants for your arrest.
1:05:43 > 1:05:49- Good golly!- 'I'll give you one last chance. That loony girl phoned.
1:05:49 > 1:05:57- 'She wants to see you. Only you.' - She does?- Oh, her pants are blazing for you, Newton Crosby!- Grow up!
1:05:57 > 1:06:03- OK, on one condition. No Skroeders. - 'It's a deal.'- Right. Where?
1:06:03 > 1:06:06'The Black Lion Inn.'
1:06:13 > 1:06:16Good luck, sir.
1:06:37 > 1:06:43- Hi!- He's hidden. Far away. He's scared of you guys, you know.
1:06:43 > 1:06:46Do I get him or not?
1:06:46 > 1:06:49First we talk. Inside.
1:06:52 > 1:06:57- My ex-boyfriend used to bring me here.- Ex?- Hi.- Hi! Good to see you!
1:06:57 > 1:07:00- Yeah. Ex. So what?- Uh... Nothing.
1:07:00 > 1:07:05OK, here's the deal. Number Five is alive.
1:07:07 > 1:07:10Really alive, like you and me. See?
1:07:10 > 1:07:15But they're still machines. Just like your stereo or...
1:07:15 > 1:07:23No, I know he's a machine. So am I. So are you. We're alive. How it happens, who knows? But it happened.
1:07:23 > 1:07:29OK. Believe me, I am not against the idea that that could happen.
1:07:29 > 1:07:34But I built the machine from scratch. And alive? Alive?
1:07:34 > 1:07:40- It doesn't compute.- I know it's not your everyday event, but it's true.
1:07:42 > 1:07:45And Guerrero steps to the plate.
1:07:45 > 1:07:53And it's a long line drive to deep left centre. Hyde is going back for it. He's...
1:07:53 > 1:07:56RUSTLING Uh-oh!
1:07:56 > 1:07:59Robot alert. Number Five located.
1:07:59 > 1:08:04Engage and capture. Do not destroy.Ohhh!
1:08:04 > 1:08:07Have you thought about this?
1:08:07 > 1:08:13If you want to help Number Five, give it back. It needs repairing.
1:08:13 > 1:08:16Life is not a malfunction.
1:08:22 > 1:08:25Number Five, stay where you are.
1:08:25 > 1:08:30Strike three! Number... Number...
1:08:30 > 1:08:33Number One,
1:08:33 > 1:08:35you're out!
1:08:37 > 1:08:40Number five, stay where you are.
1:08:40 > 1:08:43Oh, my gosh!
1:08:46 > 1:08:51Tools! Hammer, axe... Rope!
1:08:51 > 1:08:573/4 inch double braid! Perfecto! "Escaped Robot Fights Back!"
1:08:57 > 1:09:00Target in sight.
1:09:02 > 1:09:11Capture and hold. Visibility: five feet...two feet...no feet... Hey, Laser-lips!
1:09:11 > 1:09:15Your mama was a snow-blower! BLOWS RASPBERRY
1:09:29 > 1:09:33That wraps you up, you wascal!
1:09:33 > 1:09:36Ha ha ha!
1:09:36 > 1:09:39Target located. Fire!
1:09:40 > 1:09:43Holy Moley! Um...
1:09:45 > 1:09:49Elevation 22 degrees. Down, boy!
1:09:54 > 1:09:57Temper, temper!
1:09:57 > 1:10:00Fire!Oooh!
1:10:06 > 1:10:09Hold fire. Don't light a match.
1:10:09 > 1:10:15Well, when you got to go... Don't squeeze the Charmin!
1:10:15 > 1:10:23NUMBER FIVE PROGRAMS ALL ROBOTS TO WHISTLE "COLONEL BOGEY"
1:10:35 > 1:10:37Nova!
1:10:37 > 1:10:41I don't like the Nova guys either.
1:10:41 > 1:10:44I just want to see Number Five.
1:10:44 > 1:10:48Do I have your word you will not experiment on him,
1:10:48 > 1:10:54- and you will not take him apart? - Absolutely. You have my word.
1:10:54 > 1:11:01- OK. I'll take you to him. - And you can take me too! - Skroeder!- Good job, Crosby. Thanks.
1:11:01 > 1:11:04Liar!
1:11:07 > 1:11:10Stephanie! A trap! Nova!
1:11:23 > 1:11:26Here's your table, sir!
1:11:26 > 1:11:31Come, Stephanie! We be jammin'!
1:11:38 > 1:11:42- Stop! Stop!- Go! Go! Go!
1:11:52 > 1:11:55Newton Crosby, Ph-Dork!
1:11:55 > 1:11:59Hmmm... HMMMM!
1:12:01 > 1:12:05- What are you doing?- Keep driving!
1:12:15 > 1:12:18- Step on it!- OK !
1:12:27 > 1:12:34- I've had it! This was a precision operation!- You set me up!
1:12:34 > 1:12:39Where the hell are the other robots? They should have cut Number Five to pieces by now!
1:12:45 > 1:12:50"THE THREE STOOGES": Wise guy, huh?
1:12:54 > 1:12:59Cut it out! Take that!
1:12:59 > 1:13:02You numbskulls!
1:13:13 > 1:13:16ENGINE STALLS AND WON'T START
1:13:18 > 1:13:21Mmm! Cars! Dumb machines!
1:13:21 > 1:13:27That creep! Every time I think a guy's OK he turns out to be a jerk.
1:13:27 > 1:13:30- They're all alike! All of them! - Stephanie!
1:13:30 > 1:13:35- Next time they mess with us, we're going to kick ass. - Kick ass? Donkey! Mule! Burro!
1:13:35 > 1:13:41- If one comes near you, burn his butt with your laser! - Burn?- Yeah!
1:13:41 > 1:13:44No. No disassemble.
1:13:44 > 1:13:48Oh, come on! They deserve it!
1:13:48 > 1:13:50Stephanie!!
1:13:50 > 1:13:57Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry. I don't know what to do any more.
1:13:57 > 1:14:02"JOHN WAYNE":Take heart, little lady. I'll fix their wagon.
1:14:23 > 1:14:30The cat has dragged in a sight for four eyes. You look dreadful. What happened? Where's Number Five?
1:14:30 > 1:14:35I saw three robots re-programmed in ten minutes!
1:14:35 > 1:14:41I saw Number Five rescue the girl! He was screaming her name!
1:14:41 > 1:14:46If you are thinking that chick is some sort of super hacker...
1:14:46 > 1:14:51Sure(!) She cracked the Nova code, then the access language...
1:14:51 > 1:14:55all while we sat in the bar, which was great.
1:14:55 > 1:15:02- Really? What happened? - We were interfacing... - My advice helped?- Yeah. Yeah.
1:15:02 > 1:15:08- Yes? Come on, Newton. - No!- Get in! Tell me!
1:15:08 > 1:15:12Our hands came close to touching, she said I had nice eyes...
1:15:12 > 1:15:16- Brown eyes. - And then Skroeder came in!
1:15:16 > 1:15:20Oh, that bunch of male-type organs!
1:15:20 > 1:15:26- Is that tuned in to Number Five? - If he's less than 20 feet away.
1:15:28 > 1:15:32Hello, bozos!
1:15:32 > 1:15:39'Guys, it's Howard. If you don't return my van in 15 minutes...'
1:15:39 > 1:15:42Ben Jabituya delete!
1:15:42 > 1:15:46- Wait! Rethink yourself! - Exit! Depart!
1:15:46 > 1:15:51Hear my dust, Newton Crosby! Let us break wind!
1:15:51 > 1:15:56Newton Crosby, no run. No talk. Drive.
1:15:57 > 1:16:00Today, Crosby! Today!
1:16:17 > 1:16:20Number Five!
1:16:20 > 1:16:23Number Five, where are you?
1:16:33 > 1:16:36All right!
1:16:36 > 1:16:41- Where's Number Five?- You control yourself just a tad!- Hello!
1:16:41 > 1:16:47- Hi!- You kidnapped HIM? - Kidnap! Shanghai! Hijack!
1:16:47 > 1:16:56- Outstanding!- Need input. I have questions. Queries. Posers. - You and me both.- Well, good!
1:16:56 > 1:17:05Go up there, sit down, look at the stars and talk to each other. Get to know each other, man to man.
1:17:05 > 1:17:08Beautiful stars! Better see!
1:17:08 > 1:17:11"Beautiful stars! Better see!"
1:17:11 > 1:17:14Are all geniuses as stupid as you?
1:17:14 > 1:17:20He means it's a beautiful night. He speaks fine for a four-day-old.
1:17:20 > 1:17:26OWL HOOTS Come. Come. Input! Input!
1:17:26 > 1:17:34- Ooh! Beautiful! - Right. One more time, from the top. Who is your programmer?
1:17:34 > 1:17:37Me!
1:17:38 > 1:17:46You...you rewired all your switches! No wonder you're malfunctioning!
1:17:47 > 1:17:56Uh-uh. Switches are MY switches. Life not malfunction. NOT malfunction. I am alive.
1:17:56 > 1:18:00No, you're not. There's got to be an explanation.
1:18:00 > 1:18:02OK. What?
1:18:04 > 1:18:07Sorry. Time's up.
1:18:07 > 1:18:11Wait a minute. I'm thinking!
1:18:13 > 1:18:16It could be any number of reasons.
1:18:16 > 1:18:21- Entrance of moisture into the system.- Uh-uh.
1:18:21 > 1:18:25- Vibration damage!- No way, Jose!
1:18:25 > 1:18:28- Why did you ignore your programming?
1:18:28 > 1:18:36Programming says, "Destroy". Is disassemble. Make dead. Number Five cannot.
1:18:36 > 1:18:42- WHY? Why cannot? - Is wrong. Incorrect.
1:18:42 > 1:18:46Newton Crosby PhD not know this?
1:18:46 > 1:18:54- Of course- I- know it's wrong to kill! But who told YOU ? - I- told me!
1:18:57 > 1:19:04CROSBY AND NUMBER FIVE: Pattacake, pattacake, baker's man! Bake me a cake as fast as you can!
1:19:04 > 1:19:09- I brought some soup. It's getting cold.- Thank you.- Convinced yet?
1:19:09 > 1:19:12Uh-uh.
1:19:12 > 1:19:15Oh, I got one!
1:19:19 > 1:19:24Here we go! Pattacake pattacake! Number Five...
1:19:24 > 1:19:27What do you make of this?
1:19:27 > 1:19:34Wood pulp. Plant. Vegetable. Tomato. Water. Salt. Monosodium glutamate.
1:19:34 > 1:19:38OK! Thank you! Now you're talking like a robot!
1:19:38 > 1:19:45And resemble... Look like... butterfly!
1:19:45 > 1:19:49Bird! Maple leaf!
1:19:49 > 1:19:52Where?
1:19:55 > 1:19:59Here's your oscillating circuit...
1:19:59 > 1:20:05Why'd you do THIS ? You shouldn't even be operating if this goes...
1:20:05 > 1:20:08Let me get my other...
1:20:13 > 1:20:17HUMS INNOCENTLY
1:20:40 > 1:20:43I got it! Oh...!
1:20:43 > 1:20:50I got it! This is it! Now, listen! There's a priest and a rabbi.
1:20:50 > 1:20:57The priest draws a circle on the ground and he says "We'll throw the money in the air,
1:20:57 > 1:21:02"and whatever falls outside the circle we give to charity."
1:21:02 > 1:21:08The rabbi says, "No. We'll throw the money up in the air...
1:21:08 > 1:21:10"and whatever God wants, he keeps!"
1:21:14 > 1:21:17Hmmm.
1:21:17 > 1:21:21Oh, I get it! HE LAUGHS
1:21:21 > 1:21:26Ho ho ho ho ho ho! Hee hee hee hee hee!
1:21:26 > 1:21:31SNORTING LAUGHTER: Ha ha ha ha ho-o-onk!
1:21:31 > 1:21:35- Ha ha ha ha! - What's the matter?
1:21:35 > 1:21:38Ho ho ho ho ho!
1:21:38 > 1:21:41- Is he laughing?- Yeah!
1:21:41 > 1:21:49- And the joke wasn't even that funny and I screwed up the punch line! - Whatever God wants...!
1:21:49 > 1:21:53- You look kind of shook up. - Yeah! It's true!
1:21:53 > 1:21:57- Spontaneous emotional response! - I am alive, yes?
1:21:57 > 1:22:03- Yeah! Yeah! Yes, you are! - Yes! Yes! Affirmative!
1:22:05 > 1:22:07Hey!
1:22:08 > 1:22:12- Give me one too, Steph! - Awww!
1:22:12 > 1:22:15Whoo! Right on the sensor!
1:22:20 > 1:22:23Danger! Nova!
1:22:26 > 1:22:29All right, come on. Come on! Come on!
1:22:29 > 1:22:32- Tell them he's alive!- Tell THEM?
1:22:32 > 1:22:36You said they'd listen to you!
1:22:36 > 1:22:39You lied to me again!
1:22:59 > 1:23:02WHISTLE Deploy!
1:23:02 > 1:23:05Hit it! Hit it! Hit it! Deploy!
1:23:09 > 1:23:11The army! The real army!
1:23:11 > 1:23:14Your target is THERE, gentlemen!
1:23:14 > 1:23:21Crosby! If I were you, I'd come out of there! Stat!
1:23:21 > 1:23:24Jesus, these guys are really severe!
1:23:24 > 1:23:30- Weapons! M-16 machine guns! - Let me handle it. Let me handle it.
1:23:30 > 1:23:33Hi, Howard!
1:23:33 > 1:23:34Skroeder...
1:23:34 > 1:23:37- How're you doing?- Howard...
1:23:37 > 1:23:43Number Five is here. I've got it completely under MY control.
1:23:43 > 1:23:48- Another lie!- I'm lying to them, not to you.- It's still lying!
1:23:48 > 1:23:51We're coming out now!
1:23:51 > 1:23:56They're up to something! We got to fry them NOW!
1:23:56 > 1:24:00Don't you DARE shoot your stupid gun!
1:24:00 > 1:24:04- Where's Number Five?- In the van.
1:24:04 > 1:24:10Why don't you two just get away from the van and let us handle it?
1:24:10 > 1:24:13Yes, Stephanie! Get away!
1:24:13 > 1:24:19Listen! I was able to activate the voice command module!
1:24:19 > 1:24:25Crosby, we're going to have to ask you to surrender the robot.
1:24:25 > 1:24:28- (No!)- Shh. Stat?- Stat!
1:24:28 > 1:24:32What does that mean, anyway?
1:24:32 > 1:24:35I don't know!
1:24:35 > 1:24:39But that's not the point! We need that robot! >
1:24:39 > 1:24:44- I know what the malfunction is! - Sorry, >
1:24:44 > 1:24:48we can't take any more chances of losing it again!
1:24:48 > 1:24:51- Howard, if you'd just...- AGGGH!
1:24:52 > 1:24:58- No! No!- Hey, you...!- You liars! - Prepare to open fire!
1:24:58 > 1:25:03What have you done? I'm taking over! No!
1:25:03 > 1:25:06Banzai!
1:25:08 > 1:25:12Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
1:25:12 > 1:25:14He's alive!
1:25:17 > 1:25:22Howard, he's alive! I can prove it!
1:25:24 > 1:25:28He's going to make it!
1:26:15 > 1:26:16No!
1:26:31 > 1:26:34Number Five!
1:26:45 > 1:26:51You want to trade? I could use that on my TV set!
1:26:55 > 1:26:58Oh, my God! Get me out of here!
1:27:08 > 1:27:13Magnificent! Magnificent! Now that is how you kick ass!
1:27:13 > 1:27:17Years of research, down the tube.
1:27:17 > 1:27:23Just doing my job, sir. You can do it somewhere else.
1:27:50 > 1:27:53Are you going to be OK?
1:27:53 > 1:27:56I don't think so. Not for a while.
1:27:59 > 1:28:05I'm sorry you lost your job, but I'm really glad you quit Nova.
1:28:07 > 1:28:11- What are you going to do?- I dunno.
1:28:11 > 1:28:16My dad left me a few acres in Montana. I hear it's beautiful.
1:28:16 > 1:28:20Great idea! I say we check it out!
1:28:23 > 1:28:26Hi, honey! I'm home!
1:28:26 > 1:28:30- Number Five!- Heh heh heh heh!
1:28:30 > 1:28:32Quick! Pull over!
1:28:40 > 1:28:47- Oh, Number Five!- Stephanie! - I thought they blew you up! - Counterfeit! Facsimile! Replica!
1:28:47 > 1:28:53He made a duplicate of himself from spare parts! He's a genius!
1:28:53 > 1:29:01- Well... Above average! - You are great! Outstandingly great! - Stephanie...!- What now?
1:29:01 > 1:29:05- We'll go to Montana!- Yeah!
1:29:05 > 1:29:08He can hide out, soak up input...
1:29:08 > 1:29:14- What about my animals? - Come on...!- Wait a minute...
1:29:14 > 1:29:21- 40 acres?- Uh-huh.- Do you like animals?- Uh...how many animals?
1:29:21 > 1:29:24I drive, you two work this out.
1:29:30 > 1:29:34"JOHN WAYNE": Yo!
1:29:36 > 1:29:43- Number Five stupid name. Want to be Kevin or Dave. - Just watch the road, OK?
1:29:43 > 1:29:48Maybe...Johnny. Yeah! Johnny Five! That's cool!
1:29:51 > 1:29:54Gimme five! Heh heh heh!
1:29:54 > 1:29:58# Feels like I'm always gonna feel this way!
1:29:58 > 1:30:04# Hearts haven't set in motion Worlds haven't turned around
1:30:04 > 1:30:09# When you've been lost you know where you've been found!
1:30:14 > 1:30:19# Easy to hide and live your life apart
1:30:19 > 1:30:24# Easy to find new ways to kill the heart
1:30:25 > 1:30:30# Now that through some changes Laughter as well as pain
1:30:30 > 1:30:35# Now I can dance in sunshine or in rain!
1:30:36 > 1:30:41# Come and follow me To wherever the light breaks through
1:30:41 > 1:30:45# Come and follow me And you're gonna be dancing too!
1:30:45 > 1:30:51# In your eyes I see That you're alive as me
1:30:51 > 1:30:57# So whenever I'm lost Then I can follow you
1:30:59 > 1:31:03# Too many people throw it all away
1:31:03 > 1:31:08# Can't seem to take another empty day... #