0:00:02 > 0:00:09This film contains strong language and adult humour.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17ALARM BUZZES
0:01:19 > 0:01:21SHE SNORES
0:01:23 > 0:01:25SHE BREAKS WIND
0:01:25 > 0:01:27SHE SIGHS IN RELIEF
0:01:27 > 0:01:28ALARM CONTINUES TO BUZZ
0:01:28 > 0:01:30SNORING CONTINUES
0:01:37 > 0:01:39AGNES MUMBLES
0:01:39 > 0:01:40You look completely different
0:01:40 > 0:01:42out of your uniform.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Is... Is that loaded? SHE SNORES
0:01:46 > 0:01:48ALARM CONTINUES BUZZING
0:01:50 > 0:01:52SHE SIGHS SHRILLY
0:01:53 > 0:01:55SNORING CONTINUES
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Steady, son. Steady.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Don't push till I tell you.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Who? Oh...
0:02:10 > 0:02:11SHE SNORES
0:02:13 > 0:02:17MUSIC: Theme from "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly"
0:02:19 > 0:02:21ALARM CONTINUES BUZZING
0:02:33 > 0:02:35SNORING CONTINUES
0:02:44 > 0:02:45Yes? Who is it?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Jesus, I'm late!
0:02:50 > 0:02:52SHE GRUNTS
0:02:52 > 0:02:54MUSIC: "She's A Lady" by Tom Jones
0:02:54 > 0:02:55SHE CRIES OUT
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Shit! Feck it.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Hello. I can't stop, I slept late.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Oh, for God's sake!
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Jesus. Feck it.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Shit!
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Feck it. Get in!
0:03:29 > 0:03:33Oh, that's me now back on time. SHE CHUCKLES
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Wait a minute.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53This shouldn't be here.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56That's better.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00This is the movie!
0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Winnie!- Hiya.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Morning, Fat Annie. - Good morning, Agnes.
0:04:09 > 0:04:10Do you think the carrots will be
0:04:10 > 0:04:12as expensive today as they were yesterday?
0:04:12 > 0:04:14If they are, I hope they're small ones,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17cos the wholesaler can shove them up his arse.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19BOTH LAUGH
0:04:26 > 0:04:30Cathy starts her new job today. An office job.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Imagine being stuck in an office all day.
0:04:31 > 0:04:36Not me, Annie. I'm an independent trader. Born to it and lovin' it.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Morning, Father Damien.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42- Mornin'.- This is the life.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- Mornin'!- Ooh, thank you.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Come on, girls!
0:05:01 > 0:05:02CHEERING
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Good morning!
0:06:48 > 0:06:50AGNES: Good morning, Dublin!
0:06:52 > 0:06:56Get the finest of fruit and vegetables from all over the world right here!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00The best of fruit!
0:07:00 > 0:07:02The greenest of greens!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06And the friendliest of service!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08Tom, if you're not buying, fuck off.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12There goes Perry Mason.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Yeah. He wouldn't get a prison guard out of prison.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17BOTH LAUGH
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Morning, Agnes.- Hello, Jasper. What have you got for me?
0:07:20 > 0:07:21That'll be the Revenue Office.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Just as well it's brown, so they won't see me wiping my arse with it.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26SHE LAUGHS
0:07:26 > 0:07:30Beautiful kumquats, Brussels sprouts and prickly pears!
0:07:30 > 0:07:32How are you, love? Do you want to squeeze my prickly pears?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37- Morning, Mammy.- Hello, Dermot son.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38- Hello, Maria.- Hello, Mrs Brown.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40And how's my lovely triplets today?
0:07:40 > 0:07:42George has a touch of wind.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44What's the matter? What's the matter?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Oh, that's Ringo.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Hey, you big lizard!
0:07:48 > 0:07:52It's a frog, you blind bastard. Ribbit, ribbit!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54No, Dermot, you're a gecko.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56I've been saying "ribbit, ribbit" all week.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58I'll be off. I have to meet Buster.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02- How is Buster, love?- He's fine.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Are we "not guilty" again today, Buster?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07We are.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12So, Mr Cunningham, will you tell the court how many horses do you own?
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Seven. But six now, since that bastard stole one.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Justice, I object.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21He is pointing at my client.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23That is prejudicial.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27That, Mr Crews, is because your client is on trial here.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29That's fair enough, I suppose, isn't it?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31SCATTERED LAUGHTER
0:08:31 > 0:08:33He's good, isn't he?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Morning, Ma.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Hello, Mark. Hello, Betty.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Great news, Ma.- You're pregnant?
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Oh, thank God. A brother for Bono. I'll start knitting.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48It's not a brother for Bono.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50A sister for Bono. I'll start knitting.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53- I'm not pregnant.- Are you sure?
0:08:53 > 0:08:57- It's a job, Ma. - For Bono? He's only six, love.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Mark's got a new carpentry contract. A big one.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Congratulations, love.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Poor Bono. Growing up an only child.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07See you later, Ma.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Hello, Evelyn.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13She's looking great. Hope she paid for that...
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- Morning, Agnes. - My fuckin' foot!
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Will you two feckin' talk to each other and don't be texting?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21I see you, Laura, I see you.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Hello, Braden. Look at you.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26He's getting hairy like his father. WOMAN LAUGHS
0:09:26 > 0:09:29- A very good morning to you, Agnes. - Hello, Rab.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- Out last night doing a bit of reggae?- I am not from Jamaica.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35# Lie down girl Let me push it up, push it up
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Here, Rasta man, take the air out of that.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Mr Cunningham...
0:09:46 > 0:09:50is it true that you starve your animals?
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Tom Crews, solicitor. C-R-E-W-S.
0:09:54 > 0:09:58In fact, were you not found guilty of the mistreatment of your horses
0:09:58 > 0:10:02on four occasions over the past 12 months?
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Justice, if I may,
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Mr Cunningham is not on trial here.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Go somewhere else, please, Mr Crews.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11With, with, with the questions.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13- Yeah, the... - HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- He... - HE MUMBLES
0:10:17 > 0:10:21- A horse. He...- Psst!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23(Come.)
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Do we have a question, Mr Crews?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Mr Cunningham,
0:10:32 > 0:10:36what is the name of this horse that you allege my client stole?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I just called him "horsey". Like, "Come here, horsey, horsey".
0:10:39 > 0:10:43No, not what you called it. The name-name of this horse.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47I mean, it would be on the papers that you have for this horse.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52I don't have papers. He didn't come with papers.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55You have a photograph of this horse?
0:10:55 > 0:10:58What the fuck would I be doing taking a photograph of a horse for?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01LAUGHTER
0:11:01 > 0:11:05Justice, without any evidence of the existence of this horse,
0:11:05 > 0:11:09how can my client be accused of stealing it?
0:11:09 > 0:11:13To all intents and purposes, this horse does not even exist.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17I have a very busy day ahead of me.
0:11:17 > 0:11:21I can't spend time on the theft of an invisible horse.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Case dismissed.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32How can a one-pound box of chocolates put on five pounds?
0:11:32 > 0:11:34It's beyond my apprehension.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Cathy's talking about getting me something nice for my birthday.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Really? What?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Tickets to go to Placido Dodominigo.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Oh, lovely. For a week or 10 days?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Speaking of birthdays, I don't know what to get my Sharon for hers next week.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Get her a book. - No, she has one.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00You know, Winnie, I live for these little chats of ours.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02- Me, too, Agnes.- Here, come on.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Off with you. I have work to do.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06OK.
0:12:06 > 0:12:07Yes, love?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09What's the difference between those apples for 50 cents
0:12:09 > 0:12:11and those for apples for 75?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15Well, these ones are low fat. They're called Granny Smith Lite.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18I'll take two of the low fat 75 cent ones.
0:12:20 > 0:12:21That's 1.50, love, please.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23There you go.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Have a nice day.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28You're a gas, Agnes. The low fat ones should be cheaper.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Winnie, off with you. Go on, go.- Right.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Farm-fresh eggs!
0:12:34 > 0:12:37So fresh the hen doesn't even know they're missing yet!
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Are you all right there, Maggie? Can you manage, love?
0:12:48 > 0:12:50That's 15 stalls in six months.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Bastards.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57They won't be happy till they close us all down.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Then there won't be a Moore Street Market.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Well, they won't take me without a fight, Fat Annie.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Whoever they are.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Another one gone, Ivan.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27HE LAUGHS
0:13:28 > 0:13:34Now all we need are four more and we can start building.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37And once we have started building,
0:13:37 > 0:13:40all of the other stall holders will just shut up shop.
0:13:41 > 0:13:47HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
0:13:47 > 0:13:49He says get building shopping centre or he will rip off your fucking head
0:13:49 > 0:13:52and sheet down your neck.
0:13:52 > 0:13:57- The working class can fuck my ass. - HE LAUGHS
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- "Kiss my arse".- What?
0:14:00 > 0:14:04The words are "kiss my arse". "Fuck my arse" is an entirely...
0:14:04 > 0:14:06HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Calm down, Ivan.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Your money is safe. No need to worry.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15We've started on planning permission already.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Now...
0:14:21 > 0:14:25Let's see which stall will be the next one to go, shall we?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29This one.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33- Jesus.- Are you all right, Agnes?
0:14:33 > 0:14:36I got a shiver, like somebody just walked over me grave.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Annie!
0:14:43 > 0:14:47Keep an eye here, will you? I want to run this up to Cathy at her new job.
0:14:47 > 0:14:48No bother, Agnes.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53"To Cathy. Good luck in your new job.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54"I believe in you. Mammy."
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Settling in OK there, little lady?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Well, sort of, Mr Bullwhip.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Calm down. We don't stand on ceremony here, honey.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08And it's Cathy. Not "honey" or "little lady".
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Very good.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12AGNES: Yoo-hoo!
0:15:14 > 0:15:16I'm at the window.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19- I'm still not sure of my role here. - I have fruit.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21- Look, Cathy...- Bananas.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26People buy something not because they need it...
0:15:26 > 0:15:27AGNES COOS
0:15:27 > 0:15:30...but because we, the advertising geniuses,
0:15:30 > 0:15:34try to find a way to convince them that they want it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37- Do you?- You mean, "Do we", babe.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Who the fuck is he?
0:15:41 > 0:15:42Right, well...
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Settle in, sweetheart.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52- Madam.- Fuckface.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54I beg your pardon?
0:15:54 > 0:15:57Nice... Nice place, I said. Good place.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Mammy! Get in here.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05"Settle in, sweetheart."
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I know. I heard.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11You wouldn't have to put up with that shit if you worked for yourself.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14I'm not taking over the stall!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16I'm just saying, that's all I did...
0:16:16 > 0:16:19I'm just... I...
0:16:19 > 0:16:21I'm just saying!
0:16:21 > 0:16:22Didn't hurt.
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Come on, Winnie. While it's warm.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36- Agnes...- What?
0:16:36 > 0:16:41How come Father Damien always gives you more penance than he gives me?
0:16:41 > 0:16:42Because I've a lot more sins.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44No, you don't.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Oh, I do.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02DOOR OPENS
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- This box is already in use. - Winnie, get out.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Not until I've heard your sins.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Father, I'm much more sinful than her.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12- What? - Will you get out, for Jesus' sake?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15Mrs Brown, do not take the Lord's name in vain.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Sorry, Father, I'll add it on to my list in a minute.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- KNOCK AT DOOR - Mammy?
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- Father, is that my Cathy? - I had impure thoughts, Father.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24Shut up, Winnie.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Hello, Father Damien.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Hello, Cathy.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Look, if you need to talk...
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- Mammy, what is this? - I can't see.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35It's an envelope.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- I robbed a bank.- A bank?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39You did not, Winnie. Shut up!
0:17:39 > 0:17:43It's a letter from the tax office. "Final notice", it says.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Why haven't you done something about it?
0:17:45 > 0:17:48I don't pay tax. I changed my name to Google.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51Look, ladies, if you want to chat, why don't you go somewhere else?
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Shush, Father.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55That is a letter about my business, about my stall,
0:17:55 > 0:17:57and you have made it perfectly clear...
0:17:57 > 0:17:59It's a demand for a payment.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01This is not the place.
0:18:01 > 0:18:02Yes, it is.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Apparently, my grandmother owes them £96.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08And, as the current owner of the business, I'm liable.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10- I had sex with a farm animal.- What?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12A goat.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14No, you did not.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Not even a goat would give her a shag, Father.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20That's it! That's it, ladies. Out!
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Come on! Out now!
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Give me penance. Come on, lay it on me.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Do your worst!
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You better take this serious.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Fine. I'll go to the tax office in the morning.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Mrs McGoogan, are you licking my shoes?
0:18:38 > 0:18:40£96.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Even with interest and penalties, it can't be that bad.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Are you feckin' mad? How much?
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Four million euro.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Four million euro?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Ah, listen, love, there must be some mistake.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59Jesus, now you've killed her.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00How much?!
0:19:03 > 0:19:07So, I've had quite a large tax bill.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Four million euro.
0:19:09 > 0:19:10But you mustn't worry.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28I'm not worrying. It's not my problem.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Your mammy's right. There's nothing to worry about.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35The man in the Revenue Office said it was probably a mistake.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- When did he say that? - Just after you passed out.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- But why didn't you tell me? - Well, you were passed out.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45For God's sake, sometimes you're as useless as a knitted condom.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Well, he said he'd ring you. - AGNES SNORTS
0:19:47 > 0:19:49PHONE RINGS
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Wish me luck.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Hello? PHONE RINGS
0:19:57 > 0:19:58Wish me luck.
0:19:59 > 0:20:01Hello? How do you do?
0:20:02 > 0:20:04Speaking.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07(It's him.) It IS a mistake?
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I only owe 3.8 million?
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Well, that's a relief.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17I won't have to sell the feckin' yacht, so.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I think you WILL have to sell the yacht.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23- How long have you had a yacht? - How much is a yacht worth?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25I don't have a feckin' yacht!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28I know. You go on hunger strike.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Refuse to eat until they cancel the bill.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32They'd have to cancel it in 20 minutes. I'm fuckin' starvin'.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- ALL CHUCKLE - I have a better idea.
0:20:35 > 0:20:39I get the old unit together. We blow up the Revenue Office,
0:20:39 > 0:20:42then we barricade ourselves in here,
0:20:42 > 0:20:44prime the place with booby traps
0:20:44 > 0:20:47and take out the first tax man that comes near.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48HE BLOWS
0:20:48 > 0:20:51They'll never take you alive.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Somebody get his feckin' tablets.
0:20:57 > 0:20:59What we need is a lawyer, Mammy.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01All right, but a cheap one.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08Now, I can't make head nor tails of this.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10According to this reference number,
0:21:10 > 0:21:13you need a licence to import cobra snakes.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16That's not a reference number. It's a date.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I said cheap. I didn't mean THIS fucking cheap.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Offer the tax people a euro a week.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Winnie, don't be ridiculous.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29I'm not, Agnes.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31They might not accept it,
0:21:31 > 0:21:35but once you make an offer, the courts have to consider it.
0:21:35 > 0:21:36She's right.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39How do you know all this, Mrs McGoogan?
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I worked in the Revenue Office.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44You were a tax collector?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Cleaner. But I heard things.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51If that's the case, it'll give us time to set up a fund.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- A fund? - "The Mrs Brown Defence Fund."
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I'm liking this. Who'll be treasurer?
0:21:57 > 0:21:58ALL: Not you.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Hello, Mrs Brown.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Hello. Can I help you?
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Actually, it's me who's here to help you, madam.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18I don't get it.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22Why would you want to buy my mother's stall and licence?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24My client is a well-known retailer.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Who, I'm sure you'll appreciate,
0:22:26 > 0:22:28I'm not at liberty to reveal at this time.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32And he sees this as an opportunity to invest in the community.
0:22:33 > 0:22:3530,000 is a lot of money.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Over 200 years is a lot of heritage.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42It was my great, great grandmother that started the stall.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46It's been handed down to the eldest girl in the family ever since.
0:22:47 > 0:22:48Since 1802.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52The times they are a-changing.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- There's one problem. - And that is?
0:22:55 > 0:22:56Show him the tax letter.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Not a problem.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06It's now 3.8 million.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10My client brings a lot of investment and employment to Ireland.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Once we agree the sale, we can make this go away.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- Really? Just like that? - Just like that.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Right, then. I'll leave that with you.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24You have my card.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26I'll see you out.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41I'm sorry, Granny.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43I've let you down.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47There's my grandmother.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51They were false teeth.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53They were a wedding present.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58- RAB:- Only If we are united can we save Moore Street Market.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59So, does anyone have a question
0:23:59 > 0:24:02for our political representative, Mr Irwin?
0:24:02 > 0:24:03ALL CLAMOUR
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Silence!
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Now, look, I am here to assure you
0:24:10 > 0:24:15that as long as I am the representative for this constituency,
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Moore Street Market is here to stay!
0:24:18 > 0:24:20ALL CHEER
0:24:20 > 0:24:23And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will excuse me,
0:24:23 > 0:24:25I have some government business to attend to.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Very good. Thank you.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Lots of shite about nothing. Living the dream, what?
0:24:33 > 0:24:34Living the dream.
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Mrs Brown. You came.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41I forgot this was even on.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43We're just here for a drink, that's all.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46But, Agnes, you are the most important of all the stallholders in Moore Street.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- Well...- Not for long.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52- What? What does she mean? - Nothing, nothing.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54- She's selling her stall. - Winnie, move.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Can I have your attention, please? - WOMAN:- Show us your cock!
0:25:02 > 0:25:04- Shh! - ALL LAUGH
0:25:04 > 0:25:08I have an important announcement concerning Mrs Agnes Brown.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11What's he feckin' saying?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13They have won again.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Mrs Brown is selling her stall and leaving Moore Street.
0:25:19 > 0:25:20ALL GASP
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Shit, do something.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Stop it.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38I'm thinking about it. I haven't made a decision yet.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Don't look at me like that!
0:25:43 > 0:25:46It's nothing to do with Rab's imaginary "them".
0:25:46 > 0:25:49I have a tax bill. I can't afford to pay it. That's it.
0:25:49 > 0:25:51But we all love you, Mrs Brown.
0:25:51 > 0:25:55If you cannot pay it, we will all chip in and help you pay it.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57- We are family.- ALL:- Yes.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- WOMAN:- I've no fucking family in Jamaica.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- LAUGHTER - I'm not Jamaican.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Hands up those that will chip in to help Mrs Brown.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10The tax bill's about four million euro.
0:26:14 > 0:26:18There you are, Rab. Look, Mr Patel... I don't know, maybe you're right.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Maybe there is a "them", but it makes no difference.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Exactly. No difference.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Agnes doesn't care who it is.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27She'll not leave Moore Street without a fight.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Exactly. CHEERING
0:26:30 > 0:26:34No, wait, wait. Winnie, what the fuck are you... Winnie, get back here!
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Did you think for one minute Agnes Brown would go without a fight?
0:26:36 > 0:26:38- ALL:- No!
0:26:38 > 0:26:41When they tried to double the price of the licence, who beat them down?
0:26:41 > 0:26:42- ALL:- Agnes.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45When the Corporation tried to reduce the stall space, who told them to...
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- ALL:- Agnes!
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Jesus Christ.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Oh, Winnie. What have you feckin' started?
0:26:56 > 0:26:58- ALL SING: - # Oh, we're going to Jamaica
0:26:58 > 0:27:01# Oh, back to the palm trees... #
0:27:13 > 0:27:16THEY SPEAK RUSSIAN:
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Rip off heads!
0:27:46 > 0:27:47Not yet.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56Mr Bogmonovitch doesn't like public meetings.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59This Mrs Brown, she has a mouth on her.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02I was there, remember?
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Now I wouldn't be getting too worried
0:28:04 > 0:28:07about a little local public meeting.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Mr Bogmonovitch says that we should rip off her head and sheet down her neck.
0:28:10 > 0:28:14Well, yes, Gregor, if the need arises.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18But, for now, let's keep the whole thing under the radar.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21Let's keep this quiet, hmm?
0:28:39 > 0:28:42Mummy, they're talking about Granny on the TV.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48But what we know is Agnes Brown is a mother of six children
0:28:48 > 0:28:50whom she reared alone.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53Her only income is from her Moore Street stall,
0:28:53 > 0:28:56which has been handed down from mother to daughter for generations
0:28:56 > 0:29:00- and which, I believe, is now under threat.- Yes, Eamonn,
0:29:00 > 0:29:03I'm here on Moore Street with Rab Patel,
0:29:03 > 0:29:05a shop owner originally from Jamaica.
0:29:05 > 0:29:06- HE MOUTHS - Tell me, Mr Patel,
0:29:06 > 0:29:09what exactly is the threat facing this market?
0:29:09 > 0:29:10This is not new.
0:29:10 > 0:29:14There is someone trying to drive us all out of Moore Street Market.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17A developer. And he knows who he is!
0:29:22 > 0:29:25REPORTERS SHOUT QUESTIONS
0:29:26 > 0:29:29OK, enough now. Move on.
0:29:29 > 0:29:32REPORTERS SHOUT QUESTIONS
0:29:32 > 0:29:36Seriously, go now. I have work to do.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38REPORTERS SHOUT QUESTIONS
0:29:38 > 0:29:40Hey! Fuck off!
0:29:44 > 0:29:45Move it! Shoo!
0:29:45 > 0:29:47Well, you've certainly made a splash.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50I've no time for that shite, Annie.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53Fresh fruit and vegetables!
0:29:53 > 0:29:55As seen on TV!
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Just the one, love? That'll be 75 cents.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
0:30:04 > 0:30:0675 fucking cent.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Now it's a smoothie. That's 2.50.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17Hey! You sell your stall, you stupid bitch!
0:30:17 > 0:30:18Excuse me a moment.
0:30:21 > 0:30:24HE GROANS
0:30:24 > 0:30:25Anything else, love?
0:30:25 > 0:30:28- I'll be back. - Hasta la vista, Arnie.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33And you'll want to bring more than the Blues Brothers.
0:30:33 > 0:30:34You'll fucking need them.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38Are you all right, Mammy?
0:30:38 > 0:30:40Rab Patel is right. Something's going on, Dermot.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42I've just been threatened by Russian thugs.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46- Russian? - I think they'll be back.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48Why?
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Cos he said "I'll be back".
0:30:54 > 0:30:58Hiya, Gloria. I'm looking for Buster Brady. Is he doing something here?
0:30:58 > 0:31:01- That little shit. He's down the big hall.- Thank you.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13You must use your senses.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Trust them.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19They will tell you where the glass is.
0:31:19 > 0:31:23You're like a cheetah in the dark,
0:31:23 > 0:31:25but you'd know exactly where to place your foot.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28You're invincible.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30A human radar.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Hiya, Dermot. Here, I'll leave that with you.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38What the hell are you doing?
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Just helping Mr Wang.
0:31:40 > 0:31:42HE GROANS
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Ah, you dope.
0:31:44 > 0:31:47- Medic!- MAN:- On my way.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Mr Wang hurt his leg, so I just said I'd help out.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54Ninja? For the blind?
0:31:54 > 0:31:56IN HIS CHINESE ACCENT: Hello, friend of Mr Buster.
0:31:56 > 0:32:02You're very welcome to Mr Wang number one Ninja School for the Blind.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04- He's not even Chinese! - HE GASPS
0:32:04 > 0:32:09Hello, Mr Taliban! I'm from Sichuan Province.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11He's from Finglas.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13Everybody look at me and say "What you doing in my garden?"
0:32:13 > 0:32:17I say "Ha, Chinese". They go...
0:32:17 > 0:32:19THEY LAUGH
0:32:19 > 0:32:22- Keep going. - IN NORMAL VOICE: I'm sorry.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Spit went past you.
0:32:24 > 0:32:27SPEAKS IN HIS CHINESE ACCENT: You only see blind people.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30You do not see that they see more than you see.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Please, show some respect.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34HE GROANS
0:32:34 > 0:32:36You blind fucker. I kill you!
0:32:37 > 0:32:41Come on, let's get out of here. I need to talk to you.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44Mammy has a problem and I think the Russians are involved.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46The Russians? I'm not getting involved in that.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49Marie is thinking about setting up a fund.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51A fund? I'm in.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55I kill you! You can't run, you can't hide! I kill you!
0:32:59 > 0:33:02A quiz night. That should raise at least 200 Euro.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06This lawyer and the barrister could cost up to 25,000.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09I've a sponsor here who'll pay 5,000 Euro
0:33:09 > 0:33:11if somebody agrees to swim across the Channel.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14- No.- Wait, I'll do that.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17- Really? - Oh, Maria, he's a great swimmer.
0:33:17 > 0:33:20- Are you sure? - Yeah. Sure, how hard can it be?
0:33:20 > 0:33:21We could make it really big.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23It could be the launch of the whole thing.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26Right, then, let's do it. This weekend.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29What? Do you not need to train for a few weeks?
0:33:29 > 0:33:32- Not at all.- A wonderful swimmer.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35A dolphin.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37HE CRIES
0:33:38 > 0:33:41I thought she said the canal.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44Shh.
0:33:44 > 0:33:48Now, just do your best. Just go as far as you can.
0:33:48 > 0:33:50You're very brave.
0:33:50 > 0:33:52I have this, thank you, Barbara.
0:33:52 > 0:33:53Fine.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56- MARIA:- This is an injustice of mammoth proportions.
0:33:56 > 0:34:00A widow being persecuted while the bankers and developer barons
0:34:00 > 0:34:02ride roughshod over the law!
0:34:02 > 0:34:03CHEERING
0:34:10 > 0:34:14ALL: Five, four, three, two, one...
0:34:18 > 0:34:21Go!
0:34:21 > 0:34:24MUSIC: Theme from "Chariots Of Fire"
0:34:42 > 0:34:44- HE SCREAMS - It's freezing!
0:34:47 > 0:34:50- MARK:- Rory! Rory!
0:34:50 > 0:34:52Barbara, towel.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54Rory!
0:34:57 > 0:34:59Rory!
0:35:00 > 0:35:02- MARK:- Rory, come back!
0:35:05 > 0:35:08OK, when we get in here, let me do the talking.
0:35:08 > 0:35:09These Russians don't scare too easy,
0:35:09 > 0:35:13- so let's try and sort this diplomatically.- OK.
0:35:13 > 0:35:14And you know the drill.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16If it looks like it's gonna kick off, what do we do?
0:35:16 > 0:35:17- Run like fuck.- Exactly.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27Excuse me.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37We don't want any bad blood between us,
0:35:37 > 0:35:41but one of you lot threatened my mother and I'm not having that.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN:
0:35:49 > 0:35:50What the fuck?
0:35:50 > 0:35:53I think he said everybody can be friends.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55How do you know?
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I used to have a Russian girlfriend.
0:35:57 > 0:36:02Well, "girlfriend's" a bit strong. She gave me a discount.
0:36:02 > 0:36:04Well, tell him that we want to be friends.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN:
0:36:21 > 0:36:23THEY CHUCKLE
0:36:25 > 0:36:27HE LAUGHS LOUDLY
0:36:31 > 0:36:33Way to go, Buster. Well done.
0:36:38 > 0:36:43I will not kill your mother because her name is Agnes.
0:36:46 > 0:36:48It was my grandmother's name.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50- He said...- I heard him.
0:36:51 > 0:36:53- And what is your name?- Buster.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57But all my friends call me Agnes.
0:37:04 > 0:37:06HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN, BUSTER GIGGLES
0:37:06 > 0:37:08HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:37:09 > 0:37:12BUSTER GIGGLES
0:37:12 > 0:37:14HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN
0:37:14 > 0:37:16THEY LAUGH
0:37:21 > 0:37:23HE SPEAKS RUSSIAN:
0:37:36 > 0:37:38These are a serious bunch.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41Maybe. But they don't have what we have.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45Ninjas.
0:37:45 > 0:37:46Shut up, Buster.
0:37:48 > 0:37:50Give me that phone here.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55HE SIGHS
0:38:02 > 0:38:04Hello?
0:38:04 > 0:38:08This is Red Dog. We need to get the unit together.
0:38:09 > 0:38:10I have a little job.
0:38:27 > 0:38:29- So, that's them?- Yeah.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33Time we sent them a little message.
0:38:33 > 0:38:36- A bomb?- Yeah.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Just enough to turn that coffee bar into a car park.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41And who's making the device?
0:38:41 > 0:38:43He should be here any minute.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45CAR HORN HONKS
0:38:46 > 0:38:48Here he is now, right on time.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01He's priming the device. Then he'll drive it up to the target.
0:39:02 > 0:39:05That looks likes "The Hammer" Murphy.
0:39:05 > 0:39:09It is. The best in the business.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12Ah... And I thought he had Parkinson's.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17ALARM BELL RINGS
0:39:22 > 0:39:24Oh, shit. Scatter.
0:39:33 > 0:39:37Eileen, did you see somebody blew up the Parkinson's charity shop last night?
0:39:37 > 0:39:39I did. Disgraceful.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Should be ashamed of themselves.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44Agnes Brown.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47- Philomena Nine Warts.- There you are.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49I was looking for you everywhere.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51Well, I wasn't feckin' hiding.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53I wanted to tell you something.
0:39:53 > 0:39:55This is all very dramatic.
0:39:55 > 0:40:00I just didn't want to be discussing your private business in front of everybody.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03CHATTER STOPS
0:40:03 > 0:40:05My private business.
0:40:06 > 0:40:12I was at the bingo last night and I was talking to the girls about your tax thing.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14- My private tax thing? - Yeah.
0:40:14 > 0:40:15Go on.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18- The next thing, my granny... - Mary Moccasin.
0:40:18 > 0:40:22She said she was in the Revenue Office paying her tax
0:40:22 > 0:40:24the same day your granny was there
0:40:24 > 0:40:28and she saw your granny paying the bill.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30- So my granny paid it?- Yep.
0:40:30 > 0:40:33- I'd love to talk to your granny. - No problem.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37- MAN:- Droopy drawers. 44.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Two fat ladies, 88.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42Hello, Mary.
0:40:44 > 0:40:49Now Mary, can you tell us what you remember about that morning in the Revenue Office?
0:40:49 > 0:40:51She's a bit deaf.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54Oh, right. Sorry, right.
0:40:54 > 0:40:58- LOUDLY:- Mary! Can you tell me...
0:40:58 > 0:41:01Excuse me. She said "deaf", not "retarded".
0:41:01 > 0:41:05Gran, can you tell the man
0:41:05 > 0:41:07about the Revenue Office
0:41:07 > 0:41:10with Mrs Brown's granny?
0:41:10 > 0:41:13Um, yeah. Hmm-mmm.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15That's fantastic.
0:41:15 > 0:41:18Now can you get Mary down to the law library on Friday morning?
0:41:18 > 0:41:23We'll get a sworn affidavit and submit it to the court. This is fantastic.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25- Oh, the... Um...- What?
0:41:25 > 0:41:28No, no, no... We'll need a barrister.
0:41:28 > 0:41:30And I know just the man.
0:41:37 > 0:41:41I was born and raised in a cottage on the banks of the Royal Canal.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Bluebell Cottage, it was called.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46My father and mother lived there all their married life.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48When my father died in 1999,
0:41:48 > 0:41:51my mother, of course, was broken-hearted.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55But that cottage had so much of my father in it, in every corner.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58It kept her strong.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00That's nice.
0:42:00 > 0:42:02Can we get on to my case, please?
0:42:02 > 0:42:05Agnes! Give the lad a chance.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07Go on, son.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10Well, in 1999 the PR Irwin Company
0:42:10 > 0:42:13bought most of the canal bank cottages.
0:42:13 > 0:42:18They wanted to build apartments, but my mother wouldn't sell.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22Then, one day, she went out to buy some brake pads
0:42:22 > 0:42:23for her Honda Gold Wing...
0:42:25 > 0:42:29..and when she returned, the cottage had been levelled.
0:42:31 > 0:42:35Everything that made up her 73 years of life,
0:42:35 > 0:42:38all in one big pile of rubble.
0:42:38 > 0:42:39Can they do that?
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Oh, it was a mistake, they claimed.
0:42:42 > 0:42:46The contractor had bulldozed the wrong house, they said.
0:42:46 > 0:42:51The contractor was fined, my mother got quite a large sum in compensation,
0:42:51 > 0:42:53but, within months, she was dead.
0:42:54 > 0:42:56Died of a broken heart?
0:42:56 > 0:42:59No, it was a paragliding accident.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04Irwin is the local representative. I mean, it may not be him.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07Oh, Irwin is behind this all right.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09I checked the records out of curiosity.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11He's up to his old tricks again.
0:43:11 > 0:43:16The land around your market is owned by Harbour Master Investments.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19And Harbour Master Investments is owned by...
0:43:19 > 0:43:21PR Irwin.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24No, another company. Tiny Tool Ltd.
0:43:25 > 0:43:28Whose shares are in the name of...
0:43:28 > 0:43:29PR Irwin.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32- No.- Feck's sake!
0:43:32 > 0:43:35..three shareholders who all ARE connected to...
0:43:37 > 0:43:41- ..PR Irwin.- Feck it!
0:43:41 > 0:43:44So, if we beat the Revenue, we beat Irwin.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48Are you on board, Mr Maydo Archer?
0:43:48 > 0:43:52Mrs Brown, has Mr Crews here informed you about my condition?
0:43:52 > 0:43:55Condition? What condition?
0:43:55 > 0:43:58When under pressure, I am prone to bouts of Tourette's.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00For fuck's sake. What the fuck is that?
0:44:00 > 0:44:04Nothing that might bother you. I'm in.
0:44:04 > 0:44:06SHE CHUCKLES
0:44:13 > 0:44:15I've got myself a lovely barrister.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18A very handsome-looking man.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21- Well, you know, you're never too old.- Ha!
0:44:23 > 0:44:24Now Mary, when we get in here,
0:44:24 > 0:44:27all you have to do is sign an affidavit,
0:44:27 > 0:44:30just to say that my granny paid her tax.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32That way, my stall will be safe.
0:44:32 > 0:44:33BUS HORN BLARES
0:44:33 > 0:44:36CRASH!
0:44:36 > 0:44:38Oh, for fuck's sake!
0:44:44 > 0:44:47You'd think, in 102 years, she'd have learned to cross the fucking road.
0:44:47 > 0:44:51And so we lay to rest our dearly departed,
0:44:51 > 0:44:54Mary Moccasin, mother of seven...
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Mother of sorrows, look at her.
0:44:56 > 0:44:58PHILOMENA CRIES
0:44:58 > 0:45:01Philomena, God love you, you must be devastated.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03Not really.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06What a pity. Now, we have to find that receipt.
0:45:06 > 0:45:08Receipt?
0:45:08 > 0:45:09Well, if your grandmother paid it,
0:45:09 > 0:45:11they'll have a receipt in the Revenue Office.
0:45:11 > 0:45:14- FATHER MCBRIDE:- ..she sold second hand shoes and illegal fireworks from her stall.
0:45:14 > 0:45:18Let us all take a silent moment now to recall...
0:45:18 > 0:45:20Father, move it. Faster, faster!
0:45:20 > 0:45:22- Lord hear us. - CROWD: Lord graciously hear us.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25As it is now and shall it always be, world without end.
0:45:25 > 0:45:26CROWD: Amen.
0:45:26 > 0:45:28In the name of the Father, Son, the Holy Spirit. Amen.
0:45:28 > 0:45:29Go, go, go, go, go.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41- How do you do?- Hello?
0:45:41 > 0:45:43Fuck.
0:45:46 > 0:45:47Two chips, one small cod.
0:45:47 > 0:45:50CREW LAUGHS
0:45:50 > 0:45:52- Do you want salt and vinegar?- Yeah.
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Salt and vinegar on one, please.
0:46:04 > 0:46:05How do you do?
0:46:05 > 0:46:07We're looking to get a receipt
0:46:07 > 0:46:08and we were told we could get it here.
0:46:08 > 0:46:10National Records Service.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12Yes, so this is the National Records Service, then?
0:46:12 > 0:46:14- No, you're through to the wrong building.- Oh.
0:46:14 > 0:46:17- What's this, then?- Hello?
0:46:17 > 0:46:18Hello.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20National Records Service.
0:46:21 > 0:46:23Excuse me.
0:46:23 > 0:46:28Listen very carefully. Is this the National Records Service?
0:46:28 > 0:46:30Yes, this is the National Record Service.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33- Shall we get a receipt here, then? - Hold on, please.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35- OK.- OK what?
0:46:35 > 0:46:36- We're holding on.- For what?
0:46:36 > 0:46:38You're going to show us where to get the receipt.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40National Records Service.
0:46:40 > 0:46:44Listen, fuckface, how do I see the actual receipts?
0:46:44 > 0:46:47- Get your feckin' hands off me! GUARD:- On your way, ladies.
0:46:47 > 0:46:49I have four sons.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51Now what?
0:46:51 > 0:46:53I don't know. We have to get in there.
0:46:54 > 0:46:56Maybe if you disguise yourself.
0:46:56 > 0:46:58- Disguise?- Yeah.
0:46:58 > 0:47:01You could disguise yourself as a man.
0:47:04 > 0:47:05No, Winnie, I'd never get away with it.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07I know who'll get in there for us.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10MUSIC: Theme from "The Pink Panther"
0:47:12 > 0:47:13It's all up to you now, son.
0:47:18 > 0:47:22DERMOT WHISTLES "THE PINK PANTHER" THEME
0:47:26 > 0:47:29So, what's the plan, Dermot?
0:47:29 > 0:47:31See that restricted area over there?
0:47:32 > 0:47:34Over there?
0:47:34 > 0:47:35Don't point!
0:47:36 > 0:47:38Sorry, Dermot.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40You walk over with me and when we get there,
0:47:40 > 0:47:43you do something to distract the security guard.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46- I'll slip past him. - You have it, Dermot.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49HE CONTINUES TO WHISTLE
0:47:58 > 0:48:00HE SCREAMS
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Can I help you?
0:48:20 > 0:48:23Yeah... No. I'm grand.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33You said a distraction.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35I know what I said.
0:48:38 > 0:48:41Dermot, I'll get that receipt for your mammy.
0:48:41 > 0:48:43I have a plan. Do you want to hear it?
0:48:45 > 0:48:47Does it involve blind ninjas?
0:48:48 > 0:48:50- Maybe.- Nope.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09MR WANG: OK, come on. Hurry, hurry.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11Oh, you squeezed my scrotum. Don't do that.
0:49:11 > 0:49:13OK, follow me. Come on. Come on.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15Come on, hurry.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18- BUSTER:- OK, men, the camera and the spotlight
0:49:18 > 0:49:20scans the area every 20 seconds.
0:49:20 > 0:49:23Once it passes, we have to get to that door.
0:49:23 > 0:49:24We scale the railings first
0:49:24 > 0:49:27and then everybody wait for my "Go" before moving.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29MR WANG: Excellent plan. OTHERS AGREE
0:49:29 > 0:49:32OK? So the word is "Go".
0:49:32 > 0:49:34HE GRUNTS
0:49:34 > 0:49:36- What the fuck?- You said "Go"!
0:49:36 > 0:49:38I think he's dead. I can't feel a pulse.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40That's because you're holding his torch.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44- Pick him up and put him in the van. - Right you are.
0:49:44 > 0:49:47Right, we still have four. We can still make this a go.
0:49:48 > 0:49:51NINJA GRUNTS
0:49:51 > 0:49:53- What the FUCK?!- Stop saying it.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56- Saying what?- "Go"?
0:49:56 > 0:49:59TYRES SCREECH, SCREAMS
0:49:59 > 0:50:00Oh, for fuck's sake.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06- JOE DUFFY:- And you can call us on 0890-107-252.
0:50:06 > 0:50:10Now, in the studio with me today, I have the wonderful Agnes Brown,
0:50:10 > 0:50:12Moore Street trader and mother of six.
0:50:14 > 0:50:17We've had many calls, Agnes, from people who are full of admiration
0:50:17 > 0:50:21for you, not just as a market stallholder,
0:50:21 > 0:50:24but as a mother. A super mother.
0:50:24 > 0:50:28No, Joe, no, Joe, I'm just an ordinary, well, you know...
0:50:28 > 0:50:31Now hang on. We've Melanie on line three.
0:50:31 > 0:50:33Go ahead, Melanie. Talk to Joe.
0:50:33 > 0:50:35- MELANIE:- Agnes Brown is also a super mother
0:50:35 > 0:50:38to all of us who work at Moore Street Market.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Without her, we've no hope of keeping Moore Street alive.
0:50:41 > 0:50:42She's our hero, Joe,
0:50:42 > 0:50:46and a hero to bring up six children all alone.
0:50:46 > 0:50:49She's right, Agnes. You ARE a hero.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51Oh, Joe, look, no, I'm not...
0:50:51 > 0:50:54Well, yes, it was difficult to, yes, it was, yeah.
0:50:54 > 0:50:55Well, in those days,
0:50:55 > 0:50:58women would have seen their children taken into care.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02What do you mean? What?
0:51:02 > 0:51:04I mean, I know they were different times,
0:51:04 > 0:51:05but if a parent passed away,
0:51:05 > 0:51:08their children would have been taken into care.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11And yours were all babies, weren't they?
0:51:21 > 0:51:25Cheer up, Agnes, that receipt will turn up.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27SHE SCOFFS It's not that.
0:51:27 > 0:51:29I...
0:51:29 > 0:51:31SHE SIGHS
0:51:31 > 0:51:32What?
0:51:34 > 0:51:36Well, you see, when Redser died...
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Well, I was living in London with Jacko then,
0:51:38 > 0:51:39but I remember the telegram.
0:51:42 > 0:51:43..I put the kids into care.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45What?
0:51:47 > 0:51:50They never mentioned it, so I presumed they'd forgotten.
0:51:50 > 0:51:54But with all this talk about me being the best mother in the world, and...
0:51:57 > 0:51:58..I couldn't cope.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03Jesus, if they find out...
0:52:03 > 0:52:05Stop it now.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09Shush. There's no need for anyone to know.
0:52:14 > 0:52:16Good morning, Mrs Brown.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18Oh, Father Damien. How are you?
0:52:18 > 0:52:21Grand, thanks. Sad about Mary, isn't it?
0:52:21 > 0:52:24Yes, very, very sad, Father. Here, two euro, please.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28Father, are you doing confessions today?
0:52:28 > 0:52:30I'm heading there right now.
0:52:30 > 0:52:32- I'll follow you over in about five minutes.- Grand.
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Annie, I have to go on an errand.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44Keep an eye on the stall for me, will you?
0:52:44 > 0:52:45Do you need me to?
0:52:53 > 0:52:55Cathy, what are you doing?
0:52:55 > 0:52:58- I came down to see you. - Can you hang on a few minutes?
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Sure.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Thanks, love.
0:53:23 > 0:53:26- Are you there, Father?- I am.
0:53:33 > 0:53:36Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38Go ahead.
0:53:38 > 0:53:41Father, everybody's talking about me in the newspaper, the radio,
0:53:41 > 0:53:43as being the perfect mother.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48But I'm not.
0:53:48 > 0:53:50I've done a terrible thing.
0:53:50 > 0:53:52Just a second, Mrs Brown.
0:53:52 > 0:53:55What you've done, is it a sin?
0:53:55 > 0:53:57What?
0:53:57 > 0:53:59You don't have to tell me anything unless it's a sin.
0:54:02 > 0:54:03Really think, now.
0:54:05 > 0:54:10Well, I don't know if it's a sin, but I put my children into care
0:54:10 > 0:54:13when they were babies, when my husband died.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15I see.
0:54:15 > 0:54:18Well, that's no harm and no sin,
0:54:18 > 0:54:19so don't tell me any more.
0:54:19 > 0:54:23There is one sinful bit about it.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25I carried on collecting the children's allowance
0:54:25 > 0:54:26while they were in care.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28SHE WEEPS
0:54:39 > 0:54:42Thank you very much, Father. I feel much better.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52- IRMA BYKE: - This is day one of the court case
0:54:52 > 0:54:54that the country is dubbing Molly Malone versus Big Business,
0:54:54 > 0:54:56David versus Goliath.
0:54:56 > 0:55:00Muhammad Ali versus anybody small who doesn't box.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02This could be the shortest court battle on record,
0:55:02 > 0:55:04as it seems that once the trader in question,
0:55:04 > 0:55:06mother of six, Mrs Agnes Brown,
0:55:06 > 0:55:10produces a receipt for the payment, it's case over.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12Irma Byke at Dublin's courts.
0:55:13 > 0:55:15BAILIFF: All rise for Justice Cannon.
0:55:20 > 0:55:22- JUSTICE CANNON:- You may be seated.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26Do we have all the parties here?
0:55:26 > 0:55:27HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
0:55:27 > 0:55:30Yes, I am the solicitor for the defendant, Tom Crews.
0:55:30 > 0:55:33And, Justice, I am Senior Counsel.
0:55:33 > 0:55:36- Let me guess. Tom Hanks? - LAUGHTER
0:55:36 > 0:55:39- Mr Maydo Archer.- Mr Maydo Archer.
0:55:39 > 0:55:42I have not seen you in a courtroom for a very long time.
0:55:42 > 0:55:46- Indeed, Justice.- Do we still have that Tourette's thing?
0:55:46 > 0:55:47Not nearly as much, Justice.
0:55:47 > 0:55:50And I do not anticipate it affecting this case.
0:55:50 > 0:55:53Ah, well, welcome back. Who have we here for the State?
0:55:53 > 0:55:57Michael Gibney, solicitor, Justice. I...
0:55:57 > 0:55:59..await Senior Counsel.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03Here, Justice.
0:56:03 > 0:56:05Wank, wank.
0:56:05 > 0:56:06- JUSTICE CANNON:- What did you say, Mr Maydo Archer?
0:56:06 > 0:56:10- He said "wank, wank".- Nothing, Justice. Just clearing my throat.
0:56:10 > 0:56:13- A wank won't clear your throat, son.- Agnes, shut up, please.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18- Good morning, Mrs Brown.- Morning.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20I won't keep you very long.
0:56:20 > 0:56:25Mrs Brown, can you show the court the receipt in question?
0:56:27 > 0:56:30No. CROWD GASPS
0:56:30 > 0:56:33The receipt is in the National Records.
0:56:33 > 0:56:36But I was told by Philomena Nine Warts' granny, Mary Moccasin,
0:56:36 > 0:56:40that she stood beside my grandmother when she paid it.
0:56:40 > 0:56:45Well then, let's have Mrs Moccasin up here to tell us that.
0:56:45 > 0:56:46She's dead.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50How unfortunate.
0:56:50 > 0:56:55Justice, with no receipt in existence and no witness,
0:56:55 > 0:56:57well, I believe we're in a position for judgement.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Justice...
0:56:59 > 0:57:03Mrs Brown is a well-regarded member of the community of traders in Moore Street.
0:57:03 > 0:57:04MURMURS OF AGREEMENT
0:57:04 > 0:57:08Her integrity as a stallholder and as a mother is beyond reproach.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10MURMURS OF AGREEMENT
0:57:10 > 0:57:12"Beyond reproach"?
0:57:14 > 0:57:17Let's examine that, then, shall we?
0:57:21 > 0:57:24You don't mind a little examination, Mrs Brown, do you?
0:57:24 > 0:57:26Not as long as I can leave my clothes on.
0:57:26 > 0:57:28LAUGHTER
0:57:29 > 0:57:31Mrs Brown, this isn't the first time
0:57:31 > 0:57:33that you have defrauded the State of money, is it?
0:57:33 > 0:57:35CLAMOURING
0:57:35 > 0:57:37Silence in court, please!
0:57:38 > 0:57:40I beg your pardon.
0:57:41 > 0:57:44I am referring to the weeks after your husband's death,
0:57:44 > 0:57:47and the children's allowance you collected.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49- CROWD GASPS - Justice...
0:57:49 > 0:57:51This woman had just become a widow.
0:57:51 > 0:57:54She had six children at home to feed.
0:57:54 > 0:57:56Mrs Brown was only collecting what was rightfully hers.
0:57:56 > 0:57:58SHOUTS OF AGREEMENT
0:57:58 > 0:58:00- Silence, please! Silence! - GAVEL BANGS
0:58:01 > 0:58:04Did you, Mrs Brown...
0:58:06 > 0:58:11Did you have six children at home to feed?
0:58:22 > 0:58:24Please answer the question, Mrs Brown.
0:58:25 > 0:58:30Did you have six children at home to feed?
0:58:34 > 0:58:36No. CROWD GASPS
0:58:37 > 0:58:40That's correct.
0:58:40 > 0:58:44Because, in fact, you had put your children into care!
0:58:44 > 0:58:45CROWD GASPING
0:58:45 > 0:58:48- JUSTICE CANNON: - Will you be quiet, please?
0:58:48 > 0:58:50Isn't that correct?
0:58:52 > 0:58:53Yes, I did.
0:58:57 > 0:59:00I'm so sorry. CROWD MURMURS
0:59:00 > 0:59:02- Order! Order! Order! - GAVEL BANGS
0:59:04 > 0:59:08Justice, I presume you are ready to pass judgement on this.
0:59:09 > 0:59:11Mr Maydo Archer?
0:59:11 > 0:59:14Justice, at the preliminary, fuck, hearing,
0:59:14 > 0:59:17you asked us to produce, shit...
0:59:17 > 0:59:20Produce the receipt in two weeks, wanks.
0:59:21 > 0:59:24Those two weeks end tomorrow.
0:59:24 > 0:59:27Gobble, gobble, nice, nice, give it a rub.
0:59:28 > 0:59:32Reconvene tomorrow morning at 10.30am.
0:59:51 > 0:59:53What do you think of that?
0:59:54 > 0:59:56- Think of what?- Forget it.
0:59:57 > 1:00:00Right, lads, who wants to join me in a real ninja mission?
1:00:00 > 1:00:02- ALL:- Yes!
1:00:02 > 1:00:05- Yeah! - NINJAS GRUNT
1:00:05 > 1:00:06Over here, lads.
1:00:19 > 1:00:22- ECHOING: - It's too short.
1:00:24 > 1:00:25Pull me up.
1:00:30 > 1:00:33Guys, you've got to see this.
1:00:34 > 1:00:36You gonna call the cops?
1:00:36 > 1:00:39No, the Russians said to wait till they were leaving.
1:00:40 > 1:00:42Nice one, lads. Oh, yeah, brilliant.
1:00:44 > 1:00:46Oh, sorry.
1:00:46 > 1:00:48- NINJA GRUNTS - Excuse me.
1:00:49 > 1:00:50I hope you're recording this, man.
1:00:50 > 1:00:53This would get a million hits before midnight.
1:00:53 > 1:00:55That's it.
1:00:56 > 1:00:58Right, lads, I'm down.
1:00:58 > 1:01:01- How do we get down? - It's not that high. Just drop.
1:01:02 > 1:01:04NINJA SCREAMS
1:01:04 > 1:01:06NINJAS GRUNT
1:01:06 > 1:01:08THEY LAUGH
1:01:21 > 1:01:23You were all just babies
1:01:23 > 1:01:25and it was only for a couple of weeks.
1:01:25 > 1:01:28- I kinda remember. - DOOR OPENS
1:01:28 > 1:01:30I just thought we were on a holiday.
1:01:30 > 1:01:32- DOOR CLOSES - Has Mammy come home, then?
1:01:34 > 1:01:36Then we need to get out there and find her.
1:02:17 > 1:02:21Mark, I have her. Tell the others.
1:02:21 > 1:02:22See you at home.
1:02:27 > 1:02:29Everybody's looking for you.
1:02:29 > 1:02:31Are they?
1:02:31 > 1:02:33You'd wonder why.
1:02:33 > 1:02:35Because they're worried.
1:02:36 > 1:02:38We want you home safe.
1:02:38 > 1:02:41I wanted all youse home safe.
1:02:42 > 1:02:45I just couldn't cope.
1:02:45 > 1:02:48Mammy, it was what it was.
1:02:48 > 1:02:49Nobody blames you.
1:02:52 > 1:02:54I do.
1:03:18 > 1:03:20You know, they asked me...
1:03:24 > 1:03:26The nuns.
1:03:28 > 1:03:31They asked me if I could manage with any of youse.
1:03:32 > 1:03:34I said, "Maybe two."
1:03:37 > 1:03:39So they lined youse all up.
1:03:42 > 1:03:44And she said, "Pick two."
1:03:49 > 1:03:50I couldn't.
1:03:55 > 1:03:56Sophie's choice.
1:04:01 > 1:04:03Come on.
1:04:03 > 1:04:05Let's get you home.
1:04:08 > 1:04:10Who the fuck is Sophie?
1:04:13 > 1:04:16OK, lads, now we're in, how do we find the receipt?
1:04:16 > 1:04:18It will be in a box.
1:04:27 > 1:04:29This is like walking in a maze.
1:04:29 > 1:04:31If Mary Moccasin's receipt is 458,
1:04:31 > 1:04:33then it has to be 459.
1:04:33 > 1:04:35Hmm. HE GASPS
1:04:35 > 1:04:37455.
1:04:37 > 1:04:41456, 457, 458, 460.
1:04:42 > 1:04:45It's missing.
1:04:45 > 1:04:47LIGHTER CLICKS
1:04:57 > 1:04:59- The Russians must have got here before us.- Russians, Dermot.
1:04:59 > 1:05:01Hello, Dermot. Dermot, it's gone.
1:05:01 > 1:05:06- There's no receipt here. - No receipt. 459 missing!
1:05:06 > 1:05:08MR WANG: Ask him did Liverpool win.
1:05:13 > 1:05:16Well, any news?
1:05:16 > 1:05:18Still looking. They're still looking.
1:05:25 > 1:05:28You know, just before my father die...
1:05:29 > 1:05:31..he look into my eyes and he say to me...
1:05:32 > 1:05:34HE CHOKES
1:05:36 > 1:05:38What does it say?
1:05:38 > 1:05:40What, Joe?
1:05:40 > 1:05:42The card. Mrs Moccasin's card.
1:05:42 > 1:05:44What does it say? Read it.
1:05:44 > 1:05:47Moccasin, paid £34.
1:05:47 > 1:05:50- Agent Betty Beacon.- Betty Beacon.
1:05:50 > 1:05:53She was the first blind person employed by the Irish Civil Service Board.
1:05:53 > 1:05:55Blind?
1:05:55 > 1:05:58The government had to spend £500 on a Braille typewriter.
1:05:58 > 1:05:59So?
1:05:59 > 1:06:02The Russians might have got the regular typewritten receipt.
1:06:02 > 1:06:04There must also be one in Braille, too.
1:06:06 > 1:06:08We need to find the Braille section.
1:06:09 > 1:06:11PHONE RINGS
1:06:14 > 1:06:15Gregor, there's something going on down here.
1:06:15 > 1:06:17What do you mean?
1:06:17 > 1:06:19They've all gone mad down there.
1:06:19 > 1:06:21Where are they now?
1:06:24 > 1:06:26You're kidding me.
1:06:26 > 1:06:28Braille?
1:06:37 > 1:06:40It's Buster.
1:06:40 > 1:06:42Hello, Buster.
1:06:42 > 1:06:43We have it, Dermo'. We have it!
1:06:43 > 1:06:46Buster, are you there?
1:06:46 > 1:06:48Shush, everybody.
1:06:48 > 1:06:49I think someone's coming.
1:06:49 > 1:06:51POLICE RADIO CHATTER
1:06:54 > 1:06:55Hey, you!
1:06:55 > 1:06:58Oh, shit. Gotta go, Dermo'.
1:06:58 > 1:06:59Coppers! Everybody hide!
1:07:06 > 1:07:08JOE GROANS
1:07:08 > 1:07:10Well?
1:07:10 > 1:07:11I dunno. He was breaking up.
1:07:23 > 1:07:25Right, let's get to the courts.
1:07:25 > 1:07:27SHE SIGHS
1:07:27 > 1:07:29I wanna go down to Moore Street first.
1:07:30 > 1:07:32I owe them all an apology.
1:07:33 > 1:07:36If they're even talking to me.
1:07:37 > 1:07:39I gave them all hope.
1:07:39 > 1:07:41"Good old Agnes."
1:07:44 > 1:07:47And then I let them all down.
1:07:47 > 1:07:49Want me to go with you?
1:07:49 > 1:07:50No.
1:07:52 > 1:07:54This I have to do myself.
1:08:22 > 1:08:24Shit.
1:08:24 > 1:08:26That's that, then.
1:08:41 > 1:08:43# When I am down
1:08:44 > 1:08:47# And, oh my soul, so weary
1:08:49 > 1:08:52# When troubles come
1:08:52 > 1:08:55# And my heart burdened be
1:08:57 > 1:09:00# Then, I am still
1:09:00 > 1:09:04# And wait here in the silence
1:09:05 > 1:09:13# Until you come and sit a while with me... #
1:09:13 > 1:09:15We believe in you, Agnes!
1:09:29 > 1:09:31CHEERING
1:09:38 > 1:09:41Right, let's face these fuckers.
1:09:41 > 1:09:43Careful, your Tourette's is kicking in.
1:09:43 > 1:09:46No, they're just fuckers.
1:09:46 > 1:09:49# You raise me up... #
1:09:49 > 1:09:51PHONE RINGS
1:09:54 > 1:09:56Buster, where are you?
1:09:56 > 1:09:58I'm in an air vent.
1:09:59 > 1:10:01Hang on, hang on, hang on.
1:10:02 > 1:10:05No, I'm still in an air vent.
1:10:06 > 1:10:08INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
1:10:20 > 1:10:21Mr Maydo Archer.
1:10:21 > 1:10:23I don't care what you do,
1:10:23 > 1:10:25but delay everything as long as you can.
1:10:25 > 1:10:27- What is it, Dermot? - We have the receipt.
1:10:27 > 1:10:29I just need time to get it here.
1:10:29 > 1:10:31Oh, hold on, son. You're not going anywhere without me.
1:10:31 > 1:10:32What am I supposed to do?
1:10:32 > 1:10:34- BAILIFF: - All rise for Justice Cannon.
1:10:36 > 1:10:40You stay here and keep saying "Wank, wank, gobble-gobble" till I get back.
1:10:43 > 1:10:47Ah, Mr Buster. It no good. I can't go no further.
1:10:48 > 1:10:50You must leave me. Save yourself.
1:10:53 > 1:10:55OK. Good luck.
1:10:56 > 1:11:00Uh, Justice, before I call the witness...
1:11:00 > 1:11:03I'd like to recount a little of the history of traders in Dublin,
1:11:03 > 1:11:07by way of context, if you see what I mean.
1:11:07 > 1:11:09I don't see what you mean, but carry on.
1:11:09 > 1:11:11We need to do this quick, Dermot.
1:11:11 > 1:11:15Maydo Archer can only waffle for so long with his "blonk, blonk, blank, blank."
1:11:15 > 1:11:18Buster, I have the plans. Listen very closely.
1:11:18 > 1:11:19Yeah, I'm going straight on.
1:11:21 > 1:11:23Turn left at the next junction and keep straight.
1:11:23 > 1:11:25Keep going. Keep going.
1:11:25 > 1:11:27- I can feel the air, Dermot. - That's it.
1:11:27 > 1:11:29Hurry, move towards the air vent.
1:11:30 > 1:11:31We need a screwdriver.
1:11:35 > 1:11:37I keep it for the bingo. You never know.
1:11:42 > 1:11:44SCREAMING
1:11:44 > 1:11:46HE GRUNTS
1:11:48 > 1:11:50Dermo'.
1:11:51 > 1:11:53I have it.
1:11:53 > 1:11:55- Brilliant!- I love you, Dermo'.
1:11:57 > 1:11:59Not so fast.
1:12:01 > 1:12:03I'll take that, thank you.
1:12:03 > 1:12:08Oh, son, no, please. You don't want to hurt a poor defenceless old...
1:12:08 > 1:12:10..woman! HE GRUNTS
1:12:10 > 1:12:12SHE LAUGHS Come on, let's get out of here.
1:12:12 > 1:12:14How are we gonna get to the courtroom?
1:12:14 > 1:12:17- We could take Mr Wang's car. - Mr Wang! Mr Wang!
1:12:17 > 1:12:19- MR WANG:- Don't leave me here!
1:12:19 > 1:12:22Mr Wang, you're all right. We won't go anywhere without you.
1:12:23 > 1:12:25Fuck him, leave him there.
1:12:25 > 1:12:27SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN
1:12:27 > 1:12:29- MR WANG:- Mr Buster, I stuck!
1:12:29 > 1:12:31GROANING
1:12:32 > 1:12:34AGNES: Buster, only you could call this a car.
1:12:35 > 1:12:37Take your time. Oh...
1:12:37 > 1:12:39That's nice. That's nice.
1:12:39 > 1:12:41Hello. Oh!
1:12:41 > 1:12:44SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN
1:12:44 > 1:12:47Left, left! Right, right, right!
1:12:47 > 1:12:50Right, right! Jesus, right.
1:12:50 > 1:12:53Right, right, right. Left! Oh!
1:12:56 > 1:12:58AGNES CHUCKLES Bye-bye.
1:13:00 > 1:13:02It was in 841 AD
1:13:02 > 1:13:03when the Vikings
1:13:03 > 1:13:08first started trading in Dubh Linn, or "black pool",
1:13:08 > 1:13:11from which, of course, Dublin gets its name.
1:13:11 > 1:13:16Justice, context is one thing, but 841 AD, seriously?
1:13:16 > 1:13:20At least he didn't begin "In the beginning, there was Heaven".
1:13:20 > 1:13:23- LAUGHTER - Silence, please.
1:13:23 > 1:13:27I shall allow you a little leeway, Mr Maydo Archer, but don't push me.
1:13:27 > 1:13:31Well, of course, it was Hasculf Thorgillsson who is well remembered for...
1:13:33 > 1:13:36SCREAMING Ice cream!
1:13:36 > 1:13:39SHE CHUCKLES Balloons, balloons!
1:13:39 > 1:13:42What... Jesus Christ almighty...
1:13:42 > 1:13:44I feel a little bit of wee coming out.
1:13:46 > 1:13:49SIREN WAILS Cops!
1:13:49 > 1:13:51Left, left, for feck's sake!
1:13:51 > 1:13:53Keep her going. Keep her going.
1:13:53 > 1:13:55Go on, son, go on. We're in the clear.
1:13:57 > 1:13:59Wait, Russians. Stop. Turn around, turn around.
1:13:59 > 1:14:01Take it back.
1:14:03 > 1:14:05Go, go!
1:14:05 > 1:14:08Hold it! More cops.
1:14:15 > 1:14:18- Now what do we do?- I dunno.
1:14:18 > 1:14:21MUSIC: Theme from The A-Team
1:14:21 > 1:14:23Where's that music coming from?
1:14:27 > 1:14:29Granddad!
1:14:29 > 1:14:30Come on, Granddad.
1:14:34 > 1:14:36Oh...
1:14:45 > 1:14:47Jump!
1:14:47 > 1:14:49On three. Three!
1:14:49 > 1:14:53Ah! Mammy, mammy, mammy...
1:14:57 > 1:14:59I am a swan.
1:14:59 > 1:15:02Timber!
1:15:04 > 1:15:07Shit! Every man for himself!
1:15:13 > 1:15:17..leading us to where we are today.
1:15:21 > 1:15:23Thank you for that, Mr Maydo Archer.
1:15:23 > 1:15:27Do we have anything judicial to present?
1:15:28 > 1:15:31I... Indeed I do, Justice.
1:15:33 > 1:15:36Perhaps I should call a witness?
1:15:36 > 1:15:37Perhaps you should.
1:15:39 > 1:15:42- Come on, Mammy. - Dermot, I think I have crabs.
1:15:44 > 1:15:46- Move it, son. Move it.- Oh, God.
1:15:49 > 1:15:51TYRES SCREECH
1:15:51 > 1:15:52Shit! Russians!
1:15:52 > 1:15:55- Russians, Russians!- Where?
1:15:55 > 1:15:57Come on.
1:15:59 > 1:16:01GUNS CLICK
1:16:01 > 1:16:03- Now what? - HORN HONKS
1:16:04 > 1:16:07- Get in here, boys!- No. Wait.
1:16:07 > 1:16:09Buster, give me the receipt. We need to split up.
1:16:09 > 1:16:10You get them to chase you out of town.
1:16:10 > 1:16:13I'll get the receipt to the courts. Go!
1:16:14 > 1:16:16Go, go, go.
1:16:28 > 1:16:30I'm dry!
1:16:31 > 1:16:33I love the movies.
1:17:02 > 1:17:04HORN BLARES
1:17:16 > 1:17:20I would like to call, uh, Mr Rory Brown.
1:17:26 > 1:17:28I didn't do anything, Justice, I swear.
1:17:30 > 1:17:32I think I'm going to be sick.
1:17:32 > 1:17:34- Hold tight. - DERMOT RETCHES
1:17:34 > 1:17:38Betty, you can just drop us at the bus stop.
1:17:38 > 1:17:41Seriously, Betty. We don't mind taking a bus, do we, Buster?
1:17:41 > 1:17:43Buster... Buster!
1:17:46 > 1:17:48- Where is he?- Cops.
1:17:50 > 1:17:51Russians.
1:18:00 > 1:18:02Get back in the fucking car.
1:18:09 > 1:18:11Receipt?
1:18:11 > 1:18:12- Big Issue?- Receipt?
1:18:12 > 1:18:14Cash only.
1:18:18 > 1:18:20SHE GASPS
1:18:23 > 1:18:25CLOTH RIPS
1:18:32 > 1:18:34Shit!
1:18:34 > 1:18:38And I said, "Oh, there's an awful smell off that."
1:18:39 > 1:18:41And he said, "If you think that's bad..."
1:18:41 > 1:18:46- Look what I have here in my hand! - Yeah. Or something like that.
1:18:46 > 1:18:49Justice, I believe that the evidence we've been waiting for has arrived.
1:18:49 > 1:18:51CHEERING
1:18:56 > 1:19:00"20 euro each way Mia's Twin,
1:19:00 > 1:19:02"at 5 to 1."
1:19:02 > 1:19:05Mrs Brown, this is a betting slip.
1:19:05 > 1:19:07CROWD GASPS
1:19:07 > 1:19:10No. It can't be.
1:19:10 > 1:19:14Oh, Nelly, spank my monkey, lick my love pump, fuck, fuck!
1:19:14 > 1:19:15Call Mark.
1:19:23 > 1:19:27Well done, Betty. Now how do we keep this chase going?
1:19:27 > 1:19:29Piece of crap.
1:19:29 > 1:19:32Buster gave my ma a betting slip.
1:19:32 > 1:19:37Shit! Now we have to find Buster and get the receipt to the court.
1:19:37 > 1:19:41Not by car. The cops have every road blocked.
1:19:41 > 1:19:42Now what will we do?
1:19:42 > 1:19:45- BUSTER:- Dermo'! - HORSE NEIGHS
1:19:45 > 1:19:48Hi-ho, Silver! Away!
1:19:49 > 1:19:50It's a horse!
1:19:53 > 1:19:57Mrs Brown, will you please tell the court what you believe is going on here?
1:19:57 > 1:19:59Justice, this is irrelevant.
1:19:59 > 1:20:03There is no receipt, so the woman should simply sell the stall
1:20:03 > 1:20:06for the 30,000 and let that be the end of it.
1:20:07 > 1:20:09How do you know how much I was offered?
1:20:11 > 1:20:14Mr Irwin, do we have a conflict of interest here?
1:20:14 > 1:20:15Certainly not.
1:20:15 > 1:20:18I was told by one of my researchers.
1:20:18 > 1:20:20Whatever.
1:20:20 > 1:20:22Anyway, that is not the point here.
1:20:23 > 1:20:26Then we will hear what Mrs Brown has to say.
1:20:26 > 1:20:28HORSE NEIGHS
1:20:31 > 1:20:34Buster, would this be the horse you didn't steal?
1:20:34 > 1:20:36- Maybe. - HE CHUCKLES
1:20:39 > 1:20:42It's a tough life
1:20:42 > 1:20:44standing at that stall, day in, day out.
1:20:46 > 1:20:48Oh, it's beautiful on a sunny day.
1:20:50 > 1:20:52The market is buzzing
1:20:52 > 1:20:54and you stand there with a smile on your face,
1:20:54 > 1:20:57and the sun beating down on your back.
1:20:57 > 1:21:00But you try that in January,
1:21:00 > 1:21:02when the wind is whipping around your f...
1:21:02 > 1:21:04Legs.
1:21:05 > 1:21:07And your hands are so cold,
1:21:07 > 1:21:09you can't even make change.
1:21:11 > 1:21:13And why do I do it?
1:21:15 > 1:21:16Because my mother did it.
1:21:16 > 1:21:19And her mother before her, and so on.
1:21:22 > 1:21:24It's not just about the stall.
1:21:27 > 1:21:29It's about being part of something bigger.
1:21:32 > 1:21:34It... It's about...
1:21:37 > 1:21:39Dublin.
1:21:42 > 1:21:45It's about being a part of Dublin.
1:21:48 > 1:21:51You won't find the real Dublin in the financial centre,
1:21:51 > 1:21:54or the banks, or trendy nightclubs.
1:21:55 > 1:21:58Or even here in this court.
1:21:58 > 1:22:00The heart,
1:22:00 > 1:22:02the pulse of real Dublin
1:22:02 > 1:22:04is in Moore Street.
1:22:07 > 1:22:09Look in the gallery here.
1:22:09 > 1:22:13Immigrants from India, Nigeria, Pakistan,
1:22:13 > 1:22:14Iraq, Jamaica...
1:22:14 > 1:22:16I'm not fucking Jamaican!
1:22:18 > 1:22:21They've all blended seamlessly into Dublin culture.
1:22:22 > 1:22:24The new Dublin, they call it.
1:22:26 > 1:22:28But there isn't any new Dublin.
1:22:29 > 1:22:32Moore Street has always welcomed the needy,
1:22:32 > 1:22:36the lonely, the lost of this city's people,
1:22:36 > 1:22:38and did so with an open heart.
1:22:40 > 1:22:42It doesn't matter who you are,
1:22:42 > 1:22:44you will be welcomed in Moore Street.
1:22:45 > 1:22:49It's something my mother is very proud of
1:22:49 > 1:22:52and something I will be proud of
1:22:52 > 1:22:55when it's my turn.
1:22:55 > 1:22:57When I take over the family stall from my mother.
1:23:03 > 1:23:05There are those who would clear it out,
1:23:05 > 1:23:10put Moore Street away and morph this city into a faceless copy of any other city.
1:23:12 > 1:23:14But they can't,
1:23:14 > 1:23:17and they won't.
1:23:17 > 1:23:18Because we won't let them.
1:23:22 > 1:23:26We are Moore Street and we are going nowhere.
1:23:40 > 1:23:45So, then, no more evidence, Mr Maydo Archer?
1:23:45 > 1:23:47Um...
1:23:52 > 1:23:54No, Justice.
1:23:54 > 1:23:57SOFT MURMURING
1:23:59 > 1:24:04- We're screwed. - No, we're not. Hold on, Dermo'.
1:24:04 > 1:24:06MUSIC: Theme from "Black Beauty"
1:24:07 > 1:24:09HORSE NEIGHS
1:24:09 > 1:24:12Yeah!
1:24:12 > 1:24:13No!
1:24:17 > 1:24:19I knew I could do it.
1:24:19 > 1:24:22You bastard! Don't ever try anything like that again.
1:24:22 > 1:24:24- Please, not the stairs. - Hold on, Dermo. Come on, giddy up!
1:24:24 > 1:24:26HORSE NEIGHS
1:24:28 > 1:24:29We have it!
1:24:38 > 1:24:40Hello, Buster.
1:24:40 > 1:24:42Justice Dickie.
1:24:42 > 1:24:45Back down the stairs on the right.
1:24:45 > 1:24:47Thank you.
1:24:47 > 1:24:50'Despite the assertion of Mrs Brown'
1:24:50 > 1:24:53that this debt has been settled,
1:24:53 > 1:24:56there is no evidence to prove this.
1:24:57 > 1:25:02So then, in the matter of the Revenue Department versus Mrs Agnes Brown...
1:25:02 > 1:25:04HORSE NEIGHS
1:25:05 > 1:25:09BUSTER MIMICKS A FANFARE
1:25:09 > 1:25:11- What is this?- It's the cavalry.
1:25:11 > 1:25:13DERMOT CONTINUES FANFARE
1:25:15 > 1:25:17Or clowns.
1:25:17 > 1:25:19Justice, here's the receipt.
1:25:21 > 1:25:23It's in Braille.
1:25:23 > 1:25:25Is there anyone in court who reads Braille?
1:25:27 > 1:25:29Don't fucking look at me.
1:25:29 > 1:25:31I read Braille.
1:25:43 > 1:25:47The court finds in favour of Mrs Brown.
1:25:47 > 1:25:49CHEERING
1:26:24 > 1:26:27You see, it all works out the way it's supposed to.
1:26:27 > 1:26:29SHE LAUGHS
1:27:17 > 1:27:20Lovely kumquats, Brussels sprouts and prickly pears!
1:27:20 > 1:27:22How are you, love? You wanna feel my prickly pears?
1:27:22 > 1:27:24SHE LAUGHS
1:27:24 > 1:27:26Come back quick, I'll give you a gobble.
1:27:26 > 1:27:28MAN LAUGHS
1:27:28 > 1:27:32We won't use that last bit. We won't use that last bit.
1:27:32 > 1:27:34Jesus, look, now you've killed her!
1:27:34 > 1:27:37How much?
1:27:37 > 1:27:38HE LAUGHS
1:27:41 > 1:27:43Release me.
1:27:45 > 1:27:49It was my great, great grandmother that started the stall.
1:27:49 > 1:27:52And it's been handed down ever since to the eldest girl in the family.
1:27:56 > 1:27:57Since 1802.
1:28:02 > 1:28:04Somebody has a line and it's not me.
1:28:04 > 1:28:06CREW LAUGHS
1:28:11 > 1:28:13And...action.
1:28:13 > 1:28:15How much?
1:28:16 > 1:28:19Four... Fucking shitbags.
1:28:19 > 1:28:21It's a lot to remember, take your time.
1:28:28 > 1:28:30Whoa.
1:28:30 > 1:28:33Hello, Buster.
1:28:33 > 1:28:35Sorry.
1:28:35 > 1:28:37- Goodbye, Buster. - LAUGHTER
1:28:39 > 1:28:41Well, you've certainly made a splash.
1:28:41 > 1:28:43I've no time for that shite, Annie.
1:28:44 > 1:28:47Fresh fruit and vegetables!
1:28:47 > 1:28:49As seen on TV.
1:28:51 > 1:28:53SHE SIGHS
1:28:58 > 1:29:02Look, now you've killed her. How much?
1:29:04 > 1:29:06LAUGHTER
1:29:09 > 1:29:12- Ladies and gentlemen, Ben Kellett.- Yeah!
1:29:14 > 1:29:16Jesus Christ, if they find out.
1:29:16 > 1:29:18Stop it now.
1:29:20 > 1:29:24Shush, there's no need for anyone to find... To know.
1:29:24 > 1:29:25- To find to know? - To find to know.
1:29:25 > 1:29:27CREW LAUGH
1:29:29 > 1:29:30Mammy, shut up.
1:29:34 > 1:29:36I'm getting an itch around my anus.
1:29:36 > 1:29:38You should see someone about that.
1:29:38 > 1:29:40Would it be thrush?
1:29:43 > 1:29:45Set and action.
1:29:45 > 1:29:47How much?
1:29:49 > 1:29:51LAUGHTER
1:29:51 > 1:29:53Keep rolling, keep rolling.
1:29:53 > 1:29:56- Why does she keep repeating herself?- It's the phone thing.
1:29:56 > 1:29:58National Records Service.
1:29:58 > 1:30:00Excuse me, fucker-face.
1:30:00 > 1:30:03How do I get to see the actual receipts?
1:30:10 > 1:30:11I landed right on my cock.
1:30:11 > 1:30:13CREW LAUGH