The Gay Divorce

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0:01:53 > 0:01:58# Don't let it bother you When things go wrong

0:01:58 > 0:02:02# Some good luck will come along

0:02:02 > 0:02:07# Don't let it bother you If now and then

0:02:07 > 0:02:12# You may stumble, never grumble Count from one to ten!

0:02:12 > 0:02:17# A frown is a smile upside down So turn that frown upside down!

0:02:17 > 0:02:21# So smile and sing "Oooh-la-la-la-la!"

0:02:21 > 0:02:25# Don't let it bother you If skies are grey

0:02:25 > 0:02:31# Learn to grin, Take it on the chin, Everything will be OK. #

0:02:31 > 0:02:34MUSIC CONTINUES

0:03:27 > 0:03:32It's no use, Guy. Mine has housemaid's knee!

0:03:32 > 0:03:38I think you show tendencies towards Terpsichorean excellence!

0:03:38 > 0:03:43Well! My inner soul has always wanted to express itself in dance.

0:03:43 > 0:03:48- What should I do?- Stick to Law!

0:03:48 > 0:03:52Garcon, l'addition, s'il vous plait.

0:03:52 > 0:03:56- Spoken like a real native! Recognise it?- No!

0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Voila, monsieur.- Oh, my!

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Guy, this is an expensive place.

0:04:09 > 0:04:15Guy, I must have left my wallet in that other suit.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19Egbert, what would you do without me?

0:04:19 > 0:04:22I mean...

0:04:26 > 0:04:34We're just passing through Paris on our way to London. We're taking the boat tomorrow.

0:04:36 > 0:04:40I am the proprietor.

0:04:40 > 0:04:45- We'll have to mail you the money.- But I do not KNOW you.

0:04:45 > 0:04:51This man's father is Sir Frederick Fitzgerald, the lawyer.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Yes. And I'm a lawyer too.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57YOU?!

0:04:57 > 0:05:04My friend here is Guy Holden, the American dancer. You must have heard of him.

0:05:04 > 0:05:10Yes. I've heard of Guy Holden. But have you any identification?

0:05:11 > 0:05:14Well, you see, we...eh...

0:05:14 > 0:05:18Left it in the other suit. Yes, yes...

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Well...I...

0:05:22 > 0:05:31I...I have it! Look here, if my friend DANCES like Holden, that proves he IS Holden. Right?

0:05:31 > 0:05:35Go on, Guy, dash them off a polka.

0:05:35 > 0:05:40- I'm on vacation. I'm not dancing! - WAITERS DISCUSS THIS

0:05:40 > 0:05:43They'll make us wash dishes.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54There!

0:05:55 > 0:06:01- That means nothing. - Then YOU try it!

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Suppose you do it over there...

0:06:03 > 0:06:11- With all these people around? - If you ARE Guy Holden, people won't disturb you.- No.

0:06:11 > 0:06:17- WAITERS BABBLE IN FRENCH - The dishes will be difficult to wash!

0:06:25 > 0:06:28BAND STRIKES UP

0:07:07 > 0:07:10MUSIC STOPS

0:07:32 > 0:07:35MUSIC BEGINS AGAIN

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Guy!

0:08:09 > 0:08:14TELEGRAM BOY: Mr Fitzgerald! Mr Fitzgerald!

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Mr Fitzgerald! Mr Fitzgerald!

0:08:18 > 0:08:23- What do you want? - Mr PINKIE Fitzgerald?- Yes.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Pinkie? THAT'S a new one!

0:08:26 > 0:08:33It must be from Father. He's called me "Pinkie" since I was a little tot.

0:08:33 > 0:08:41- Tip that boy, will you? Read that for me. I'm busy. - Thank you, Captain.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45Your father says, "Leaving for Scotland.

0:08:45 > 0:08:52- "Take charge of office." - He's leaving me in charge. - I haven't finished.

0:08:52 > 0:08:57- "But don't DO anything. Just SIT."- Let me see that.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00You've been in charge before!

0:09:00 > 0:09:07The lady in Section D... she's an American, and you know how THEY are!

0:09:07 > 0:09:13Can you help? Look after this man. Come with me.

0:09:13 > 0:09:18I'm the Chief Inspector. Anything I can do for you?

0:09:18 > 0:09:25Yes! This man wants to mess up my trunks after I've carefully packed them!

0:09:25 > 0:09:29Sorry. We must inspect all luggage.

0:09:29 > 0:09:34Ohhh! How much DID you pay for this?

0:09:34 > 0:09:40How much? It was an awful lot... Where did you buy it?

0:09:40 > 0:09:45Where did I buy it? Let me see... What's the name of that town?

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Paris?

0:09:48 > 0:09:50Paris? No. It wasn't Paris.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52< Lyons?

0:09:52 > 0:09:56No. But you're getting warmer!

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Nice?

0:09:58 > 0:10:01Yes! That's who I'm waiting for.

0:10:01 > 0:10:06What? My NIECE. She's to meet me here.

0:10:06 > 0:10:10Where IS she? I don't know.

0:10:10 > 0:10:17- This is the only other place she might be.- Oh, there she is! Thank you.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Mimi, dear! - Hortense! How are you?

0:10:20 > 0:10:23- You look marvellous!- Don't I?

0:10:23 > 0:10:31This is my niece, Mimi. Her life's mixed up, but I've come over to straighten it out.

0:10:31 > 0:10:35Please straighten THIS matter out first.

0:10:35 > 0:10:41What do you want me to do? Come with me!

0:10:41 > 0:10:46- Put those things in while I lock this trunk.- These?

0:10:46 > 0:10:51- Yes. Hold this for me. - Did you have a nice trip?- Yes.

0:10:51 > 0:10:55I enjoyed every minute of it!

0:11:02 > 0:11:05I won't be long dear. Come on!

0:11:24 > 0:11:27Porter! Porter!

0:11:27 > 0:11:30- Porter!- Sorry, I'm busy, ma'am.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34Porter!

0:11:36 > 0:11:39Oh, porter! Porter!

0:11:45 > 0:11:47Porter!

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Porter!

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Porter!

0:11:52 > 0:11:56Can I be of any assistance?

0:11:56 > 0:12:04- My aunt is in the Inspector's office, would you call her? - Yes.- Thank you.- With pleasure.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10You're an American, aren't you?

0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Yes.- So am I.

0:12:13 > 0:12:20- So is my aunt. You know, the one you were going to call for me?- Why, yes.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25Anything you want me to tell her?

0:12:26 > 0:12:31Tell her that my dress is caught.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34Oh, your dress is caught!

0:12:34 > 0:12:37Tch-tch! My, my!

0:12:37 > 0:12:41- Locked!- Yes. - You want me to call your aunt?

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Yes!

0:12:44 > 0:12:47A third party might spoil this!

0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Porter!- Porter!

0:12:50 > 0:12:52Oh, porter!

0:12:52 > 0:12:57There's no reason why I can't handle this myself.

0:12:57 > 0:13:01- Let me see... - R-R-I-I-I-P !

0:13:01 > 0:13:05Maybe I should have called your aunt.

0:13:05 > 0:13:09I'm awfully sorry. Please take this.

0:13:13 > 0:13:18- Please forgive me. - Where can I return this to you?

0:13:18 > 0:13:24- May I save you the trouble and call for it?- No.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Oh.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29Well, eh...here's my address.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32I'll be waiting to hear from you.

0:13:33 > 0:13:40- Y-you didn't say goodbye.- No. - Wonderful. That means I'll see you again.

0:13:48 > 0:13:54- All right, I'll pay it. - I've just had an embarrassing experience.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58- A man tore my dress. - Anyone we know?

0:13:58 > 0:14:02- Ohh!- Here you are, madam.

0:14:02 > 0:14:06Oh, for me? I DO adore fruit baskets!

0:14:06 > 0:14:11You shouldn't have! After all, we've just met.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24MAIL BOY WHISTLES

0:14:30 > 0:14:33EGBERT JOINS IN

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Not bad. Time for an encore?

0:14:45 > 0:14:48- My time's too valuable.- Sorry!

0:14:48 > 0:14:54- Don't you want to know who sent that? - All right. Tell me.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58The young lady asked me not to tell!

0:15:00 > 0:15:03Oh, oh, yes! I see!

0:15:03 > 0:15:06"Asked me not to tell".

0:15:08 > 0:15:11Guy! Package for you.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14Oh, that's my raincoat.

0:15:14 > 0:15:20- That must be her handwriting. - I studied handwriting. Very neat.

0:15:20 > 0:15:26The "O"s and "A"s are open, that means extravagance.

0:15:26 > 0:15:31Little circles instead of dots, that's a sign of vanity.

0:15:31 > 0:15:39- Guy, what's the matter? You seem to be under a spell. - I am. For the first time ever!

0:15:39 > 0:15:44- What are you looking for? - Where's the note?- Oh, NO note.

0:15:44 > 0:15:52- No note?!- No note.- Did you talk to the messenger?- She told him not to tell where it came from.

0:15:52 > 0:15:59- I wonder if she resented my tearing her skirt?- Probably. What did you do that for?

0:15:59 > 0:16:04- She couldn't move! - Sounds unsporting of you, Guy.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08- It was an accident. - It usually is!

0:16:08 > 0:16:15- What's her name?- I don't know. - Address?- I don't know. - Interesting romance(!)

0:16:15 > 0:16:19I hoped she'd send a note with her address.

0:16:19 > 0:16:25Well, I would hazard that she doesn't want to see you.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Hmmm. Ha-aaaa. Yes.

0:16:28 > 0:16:34Well, I'm going to the office. What are you going to do?

0:16:34 > 0:16:38I'm going to look for her. I'll find her.

0:16:38 > 0:16:45Shouldn't be difficult. There are only 3 million women in London!

0:16:54 > 0:17:00# It's just like looking for a needle in a haystack

0:17:00 > 0:17:04# Searching for a moonbeam in the blue

0:17:04 > 0:17:07# Still, I've gotta find you

0:17:09 > 0:17:15# It's just like looking for a raindrop in the ocean

0:17:15 > 0:17:19# Searching for a dewdrop in the dew

0:17:19 > 0:17:22# Still, I've gotta find you

0:17:24 > 0:17:29# I'll roam the town in hope that we'll meet

0:17:29 > 0:17:33# Look at each face I'll pass on the street

0:17:33 > 0:17:40# Sometimes I hear the beat of your feet But it's just imagination

0:17:40 > 0:17:45# Oh, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack

0:17:45 > 0:17:49# Still, I'll follow every little clue

0:17:49 > 0:17:52# Cos I've gotta find you

0:17:54 > 0:18:00# It's just like looking for a needle in a haystack

0:18:00 > 0:18:04# Searching for a moonbeam in the blue

0:18:04 > 0:18:07# Still, I've got to find you

0:18:08 > 0:18:14# It's just like looking for a raindrop in the ocean

0:18:14 > 0:18:18# Searching for a dewdrop in the dew

0:18:19 > 0:18:22# Still, I've gotta find you

0:18:22 > 0:18:27# I'll roam the town in hope that we'll meet

0:18:27 > 0:18:31# Look at each face I pass on the street

0:18:31 > 0:18:35# Sometimes I hear the beat of your feet

0:18:35 > 0:18:39# But it's just imagination

0:18:39 > 0:18:46# Though it's like looking for a needle in a haystack

0:18:46 > 0:18:54# Still, I'll follow every little clue Cos I gotta find you! #

0:21:10 > 0:21:13HIS CAR HITS THE ONE IN FRONT

0:21:15 > 0:21:17Hello!

0:21:18 > 0:21:21I've been looking for you.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24Wait!

0:22:10 > 0:22:12Stop!

0:23:02 > 0:23:10- Isn't it peaceful here(?) - Would you mind moving your car or don't you want it any more?

0:23:10 > 0:23:13"Yes, Guy, it IS peaceful."

0:23:14 > 0:23:18In a moment, the air will be full of fenders!

0:23:18 > 0:23:26- Hit it just about THERE, the cigarette lighter never did work.- I warned you!

0:23:30 > 0:23:33Porter! Porter!

0:23:37 > 0:23:41Can't do it! Guess I'm too economical.

0:23:47 > 0:23:54Now, then, can I offer you something? Cointreau? Benedictine? Marriage?

0:23:54 > 0:24:00- What was that last?- Benedictine. - No. After THAT.

0:24:01 > 0:24:08- Marriage.- Do you always propose marriage so casually? - No. I've given it thought.

0:24:08 > 0:24:17- I've spent the last two weeks looking for you. - Didn't you get your coat?- Yes.

0:24:17 > 0:24:21But I'd hoped for a note.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25I've got to know something about you.

0:24:25 > 0:24:30What flowers you like, favourite books, music...

0:24:30 > 0:24:34Where can I get in touch with you?

0:24:36 > 0:24:38You can't.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42I'm staying with friends.

0:24:42 > 0:24:46I wouldn't know what you'd do next!

0:24:48 > 0:24:53Well, if you won't give me YOUR number, here's MINE.

0:24:59 > 0:25:02Just wasting paper!

0:25:07 > 0:25:11Ah! I thought you were economical!

0:25:11 > 0:25:14That's better.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17May I go now(?)

0:25:17 > 0:25:21All right. You WILL call me tomorrow?

0:25:21 > 0:25:27I'll be waiting. I'll rest at night so I can wait some more!

0:25:31 > 0:25:34I say! Let us through!

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Rath-er! Right you are! Cheerio!

0:25:39 > 0:25:41Right you are! Awfully sorry!

0:25:44 > 0:25:48I bought this in the sporting goods store.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00You didn't tell me your name!

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Mimi!

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Mimi?

0:26:07 > 0:26:09Mimi!

0:26:22 > 0:26:26I'll tell Mr Fitzgerald... Thank you.

0:26:26 > 0:26:30It's hopeless. I don't know why we're here.

0:26:30 > 0:26:38Egbert's an old friend. He doesn't know much about Law, it's his father who's the brains.

0:26:38 > 0:26:43Oh, dear Egbert! He was nearly my third husband.

0:26:43 > 0:26:49He would have been, but he left for India on an elephant hunt.

0:26:49 > 0:26:53He went off... when he could have married ME !

0:26:55 > 0:27:00Mrs Deluwelle, Mr Fitzgerald doesn't recall your name.

0:27:00 > 0:27:03What do you mean...?

0:27:03 > 0:27:09Of course! I've been married again. He wouldn't know that name.

0:27:09 > 0:27:15- What name DID Egbert know me by? - Hortense, darling! - I didn't marry in '29 or '30.

0:27:15 > 0:27:22That was the year of the crash, and men didn't know if they had money.

0:27:22 > 0:27:26I tell you! Just say "Peanuts". He'll know!

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Peanuts?!

0:27:28 > 0:27:34Yes! You know, the association of ideas.

0:27:34 > 0:27:40Peanuts - elephants - elephant hunt - ME ! "Peanuts", madam.

0:27:47 > 0:27:49Ahem!

0:27:49 > 0:27:53Yes, yes, yes?

0:27:53 > 0:27:56She said to say "Peanuts".

0:27:56 > 0:27:59Tell her I don't want any.

0:28:00 > 0:28:05She also mentioned elephant hunting.

0:28:05 > 0:28:11That makes it peanuts, India, elephant hunting. That doesn't make sense. Horte...

0:28:11 > 0:28:17Oh, no! It couldn't be! Tell her I'm out of town!

0:28:17 > 0:28:19EGBERT!

0:28:19 > 0:28:23Don't mind him, he's so impetuous!

0:28:23 > 0:28:29You look just the same. That sweet smile and dear little eyes!

0:28:29 > 0:28:32Meet my niece, Mrs Glossip.

0:28:32 > 0:28:36- Mrs Glossip. How do you do? - Glad to know you.

0:28:36 > 0:28:39- Sit down, sit down. - Thank you.

0:28:39 > 0:28:46Mimi is unhappily married. Isn't that criminal?

0:28:46 > 0:28:54- It's no crime to be married. - Egbert, are you proposing to me again?- No!

0:28:54 > 0:28:56No! NO!

0:28:57 > 0:29:00Mrs Glossip has a problem?

0:29:00 > 0:29:06Yes, I have. There are so many things... I don't know where to begin.

0:29:06 > 0:29:11- Well...- Sit down. I'll tell you about it.

0:29:11 > 0:29:18She's been married two years. She never sees her husband unless he wants money.

0:29:18 > 0:29:20Tch-tch!

0:29:20 > 0:29:25- I met him at school. - He's a geometrist.

0:29:25 > 0:29:27Oh!

0:29:27 > 0:29:30- No. A GEOLOGIST.- Oh! Geologist!

0:29:30 > 0:29:35What difference does it make? Same thing!

0:29:35 > 0:29:43- You know, rocks and things.- Oh! He threw them?- No! He digs them! He DIGS them!

0:29:43 > 0:29:47Have you asked your husband for a divorce?

0:29:47 > 0:29:50Yes. He refuses to discuss it.

0:29:50 > 0:29:56Well, obtaining a divorce in England is a difficult thing,

0:29:56 > 0:30:00unless the husband agrees to grant it.

0:30:01 > 0:30:05Ohh, Egbert! I didn't know you liked dolls!

0:30:10 > 0:30:12Mother instinct!

0:30:14 > 0:30:20Ladies, as your legal adviser, I would suggest that we resort to...eh...

0:30:20 > 0:30:22thingummyjig.

0:30:22 > 0:30:28- Flagrant!- Why? Oh, yes! - I had one in my second divorce.

0:30:28 > 0:30:33The details are simple... a seaside hotel...

0:30:33 > 0:30:36I'll do anything you say.

0:30:36 > 0:30:44- I'll leave it to you two. - It would be better for me if you remained.- Run along, dear!

0:30:44 > 0:30:47- I'll fix everything!- Thank you.

0:30:47 > 0:30:54- I feel comfortable in your hands. - I'll work my brain to the bone! - Goodbye!

0:30:54 > 0:30:55Goodbye.

0:31:04 > 0:31:06Now, right down to business.

0:31:06 > 0:31:09Ohh! Oh, Egbert!

0:31:10 > 0:31:16- I mean the hotel.- Oh. - I know a new one, the Hotel Bella Vista.

0:31:16 > 0:31:22Easy to remember! I had a cook named Bella. Or was it a masseuse?

0:31:22 > 0:31:30Anyway, I'll have my niece meet you at the Maryland Hotel. That wasn't it! A girl's name...

0:31:30 > 0:31:39- Take this.- Oh, "The Bella Vista". Of course! That's what I said in the first place.

0:31:39 > 0:31:42Oh, goodbye, Egbert.

0:31:42 > 0:31:45Divorces make me so sentimental.

0:31:45 > 0:31:48Don't you wish it was ours?

0:31:52 > 0:31:55Yes, miss. I understand, miss.

0:31:55 > 0:31:58- Who was it?- A lady, sir.

0:31:58 > 0:32:04- Did she leave a message?- Yes. - Well...?- It was the wrong number!

0:32:04 > 0:32:11Get everything ready. Hurry! I'm leaving for the seashore.

0:32:11 > 0:32:20- Did another woman propose to you?- Yes. No! I've got a case! - A case of what?- A DIVORCE case!

0:32:20 > 0:32:23- I'll handle it all myself.- Oh!

0:32:23 > 0:32:27- Hurry, man! Pack my things. - Mr Guy's also?

0:32:27 > 0:32:33Splendid idea! Guy, come along. The change will do you good.

0:32:33 > 0:32:38- You look liverish. - It isn't liver, it's LOVE, sir!

0:32:38 > 0:32:43I can't leave London. I'm waiting for a call.

0:32:43 > 0:32:46You're not pining for that girl?

0:32:46 > 0:32:49Pining?! Men don't pine.

0:32:49 > 0:32:55GIRLS pine. Men just...suffer!

0:32:56 > 0:33:01Guy, she hasn't called you. She's not interested.

0:33:01 > 0:33:06You pulled her gown... she pulled your leg!

0:33:06 > 0:33:12- Maybe you're right.- Of course. - I've waited two weeks!

0:33:12 > 0:33:20- Where are we going?- Brighton. The Hotel Mabel...Margaret... Oh, confound that woman!

0:33:20 > 0:33:25Come along! Sea air, sunshine, gaiety, girls!

0:33:42 > 0:33:45# You're my type of a shy type

0:33:45 > 0:33:48- # Of a beau, dear - Pardon?

0:33:48 > 0:33:54- # So let's do things I'll teach you a few things - Me?!

0:33:54 > 0:33:58- # For I know, dear - I'm reading...

0:33:58 > 0:34:04- # I'm not bashful I'm pash-ful ! - I sense that!

0:34:04 > 0:34:07# When you're near I feel so... Let's play houses

0:34:07 > 0:34:14- # Oh, you make me feel so Mickey Mouse-ish! - What a place!

0:34:14 > 0:34:19# You're sweet and so agreeable I feel so gosh-oh-gee-able!

0:34:19 > 0:34:24# You warm me or I'll freeze and let's k-knock k-knees

0:34:24 > 0:34:30# You are so bill and coo-able I'm so I-love-you-able

0:34:30 > 0:34:36- # Come cuddle closer, please And let's k-knock k-knees - Is it a game?

0:34:36 > 0:34:40# They say make hay while the sun shines

0:34:40 > 0:34:44# So let's make hey-hey-hey while the moon shines!

0:34:44 > 0:34:47# My heart's so tick-tock-tickable

0:34:47 > 0:34:50# Your lips are so lipstick-able!

0:34:50 > 0:34:55# You know your A,B,Cs so let's k-knock k-knees!

0:34:55 > 0:35:01# It's so incomprehensible It doesn't seem quite sensible

0:35:01 > 0:35:07# And yet I like it, please Let's k-knock k-knees

0:35:07 > 0:35:12# It's almost hoi polloi-able And yet it's quite enjoyable

0:35:12 > 0:35:16# Oooh, I'm full of rhapsody... # (Not here!)

0:35:16 > 0:35:21# Flipping, skipping Lightly bounding

0:35:21 > 0:35:27- # Stop it! Knock it! - Really, this is most astounding!

0:35:27 > 0:35:32- # It makes one feel so thrill-able - I've exhausted every syllable

0:35:32 > 0:35:37- # I crave frivolity - Let's k-knock...- # Ouch!

0:35:56 > 0:35:58# Let's k-knock k-knees! #

0:37:32 > 0:37:34# Let's knock knees! #

0:37:34 > 0:37:37Oh, hello!

0:38:05 > 0:38:06Oh!

0:38:07 > 0:38:10Thank you! Thank you!

0:38:10 > 0:38:13I've been looking for you!

0:38:13 > 0:38:17- Just dancing. - Is THAT what it was?

0:38:24 > 0:38:28This is a marvellous place, isn't it, Guy?

0:38:28 > 0:38:31I think it's wonderful.

0:38:32 > 0:38:40- Are you still moping over that girl? The world's FULL of girls. - I know. But not like her.

0:38:40 > 0:38:44She's music, the buzzing of the bees,

0:38:44 > 0:38:48she's water lapping on the shore...

0:38:48 > 0:38:53She sounds like a series of strange noises to me!

0:38:53 > 0:38:56Well...cheer up, Guy, cheer up.

0:38:56 > 0:39:00- You may chance across her again. - I will.

0:39:00 > 0:39:06And it won't be chance. Chance is the fool's name for fate.

0:39:06 > 0:39:13What was that last? "The fool's name for fate"? Where did you get it?

0:39:13 > 0:39:17A line from my last show.

0:39:17 > 0:39:20It would make a good song!

0:39:20 > 0:39:25# Chance is the fool's name for fate, my lad... #

0:39:25 > 0:39:28Mind if I use it in conversation?

0:39:28 > 0:39:31Spring it on your father!

0:39:36 > 0:39:39"Chance is the fool's name..."

0:39:42 > 0:39:50If father could only see me upholding the professional dignity of the firm.

0:39:50 > 0:39:56- I'll wait for my client. - I'll see you later.- I'll be here.

0:39:58 > 0:40:01Pardon, you rang, sir?

0:40:01 > 0:40:04What is there to ring with?

0:40:04 > 0:40:08Pardon, sir. It's just a figure of speech.

0:40:08 > 0:40:15Oh. Oh. Uh-huh. Well, bring me a... Let me have a...

0:40:15 > 0:40:20Your figure of speech has made me forget what I wanted!

0:40:21 > 0:40:24Do you require crumpets?

0:40:24 > 0:40:27No. I never ring for crumpets.

0:40:30 > 0:40:34Would you ring for a toasted scone, sir?

0:40:34 > 0:40:41Scone? Well, now, eh... No. No. Try me again.

0:40:41 > 0:40:49- Can you imagine yourself with a hankering for a nice gooseberry tart?- No!

0:40:50 > 0:40:54No crumpets, no scones... gooseberry tarts...

0:40:54 > 0:40:59That lands both of us in the cul-de-sac.

0:40:59 > 0:41:01Of course.

0:41:01 > 0:41:09I hate to leave you like this. You, torn with doubts, and me, with my duty undischarged.

0:41:09 > 0:41:13Cheer up. It'll come to me.

0:41:14 > 0:41:17Was it Animal or Vegetable, sir?

0:41:17 > 0:41:19No.

0:41:19 > 0:41:22That leaves Mineral, then.

0:41:23 > 0:41:27Now, sir, was it a half 'n' half...

0:41:27 > 0:41:31a noggin of ale, a pipkin of porter...

0:41:31 > 0:41:35a stoup of stout... or a beaker of beer?

0:41:38 > 0:41:40Tea.

0:41:40 > 0:41:42Tea?!

0:41:42 > 0:41:45Well, isn't it a small world?

0:41:59 > 0:42:03- Hello, Mrs Glossip.- Hello.

0:42:03 > 0:42:06Ready for graduation day?

0:42:06 > 0:42:08Egbert!

0:42:08 > 0:42:11Oh, no, it... It IS!

0:42:11 > 0:42:16- I came down to help you. - So good of you(!)

0:42:16 > 0:42:23- I'm anxious to have a few last words with you? - LAST words?- Yes.

0:42:23 > 0:42:26If you don't mind.

0:42:26 > 0:42:29- Now, eh...- Oh, Egbert!

0:42:32 > 0:42:33Now...

0:42:33 > 0:42:40It will be necessary for someone to discover you with someone,

0:42:40 > 0:42:43just as a matter of form.

0:42:43 > 0:42:46I can't go through with it!

0:42:46 > 0:42:53Don't be silly, get it over with. Think of Cyril Gotham. I knew that would do it!

0:42:53 > 0:43:02The young man is on his way. It wouldn't be correct for me to introduce you.

0:43:02 > 0:43:09- He will present himself. - We need a password! Wonderful! - I have the password.

0:43:09 > 0:43:16- He will say, "Chance is the fool's name for fate." - Shakespeare?- It's my own!

0:43:16 > 0:43:25- "Chance is the fool's name for fate."- Good! Now, you must have a name.

0:43:25 > 0:43:29Your name will be... eh...Mrs Green.

0:43:29 > 0:43:34Green! I DO adore green! Very soothing to the eye.

0:43:34 > 0:43:39- Are you coming with us?- Hortense, you can't stay with her.

0:43:39 > 0:43:46- You can't have a clandestine affair between three people! - That's what YOU say!

0:43:48 > 0:43:52MAN SINGS "SANTA LUCIA"

0:43:57 > 0:44:00# La-la-la la-la-la... #

0:44:08 > 0:44:15- By any chance, are you Mr Tornetti? - Rudolfo Tornetti at your serveece!

0:44:15 > 0:44:18Yes, well, I am Mr Fitzgerald.

0:44:18 > 0:44:22Mr Feetzgerald? I am delightful.

0:44:22 > 0:44:25I shouldn't doubt it, old man.

0:44:25 > 0:44:31Don't you think a co-respondent should come to work quietly?

0:44:31 > 0:44:34I will do a feerst-class job!

0:44:34 > 0:44:39The lady is very sensitive, you must treat her accordingly.

0:44:39 > 0:44:45- Whicheever way the wind blows, that's the way I sail.- Sit down.

0:44:45 > 0:44:47Tea.

0:44:53 > 0:45:01- Your life, Mr Tornetti, must be full of excitement. - And danger!- From the husbands?

0:45:01 > 0:45:04- No. From the ladies.- Interesting!

0:45:04 > 0:45:07But, Tornetti, he know what to do!

0:45:07 > 0:45:14Sometimes the lady and I have conversation, sometimes I play concertina,

0:45:14 > 0:45:17but mostly I seeeng.

0:45:17 > 0:45:20My wife, he do not like me to seeeng.

0:45:20 > 0:45:23A woman of great perspicacity.

0:45:23 > 0:45:26Oh, signor, you bet!

0:45:28 > 0:45:33You're sure, Mr Tornetti, that my client will be safe?

0:45:33 > 0:45:38Oh, signor! With me, strictly beezness!

0:45:38 > 0:45:44"Your wife is safe with Tornetti, he prefers spaghetti!"

0:45:46 > 0:45:50Now, listen, I'll give you the password.

0:45:50 > 0:45:57When you see the lady, you say, "Chance is the fool's name for fate."

0:45:57 > 0:46:05- "Chance is the foolish name...." - "The FOOL'S name for fate." - What's eet mean?

0:46:05 > 0:46:08You have to have some method...

0:46:08 > 0:46:13Oh, never mind what it means! Just say it.

0:46:13 > 0:46:18Now, remember, I want delicacy, tact, assurance, finesse.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21I have brought everytheeeng.

0:46:22 > 0:46:29And now I go inside to make call to tell my wife I am safely arrived.

0:46:29 > 0:46:32Arrivederci.

0:46:32 > 0:46:35"Fate is no fooling..." No, no.

0:46:35 > 0:46:38"Chances are..." Scusi.

0:46:43 > 0:46:47Madam, can I be of service to you?

0:46:47 > 0:46:51I doubt it! Let me have the menu.

0:46:51 > 0:46:54What have you?

0:46:54 > 0:46:59Eh...crumpets! Does it run in the family?

0:47:01 > 0:47:04That's very whumsical.

0:47:04 > 0:47:07What? Very whumsical, ma'am.

0:47:07 > 0:47:10Like Sir James Barrie.

0:47:10 > 0:47:17You mean "whimsical" ? Well, yes, ma'am. Why not "whimsical", then?

0:47:17 > 0:47:22"Whumsical" is much more whimsical than whamsical.

0:47:22 > 0:47:27You're beginning to fascinate me, and I resent that in any man!

0:47:27 > 0:47:30I was just going to order.

0:47:31 > 0:47:38- I can't eat a thing. - You must! You can't have a divorce on an empty stomach.

0:47:42 > 0:47:47What's the matter? You look like you've seen your husband!

0:47:47 > 0:47:52- It's the man I told you about! - Did you send him an invitation?!

0:47:55 > 0:47:57I didn't know he was here!

0:47:57 > 0:48:00Mimi! MIMI!

0:48:02 > 0:48:04Mimi!

0:48:12 > 0:48:18- You mustn't run like that. - Why not?- It's bad for my health!

0:48:18 > 0:48:23- What are you doing here? - Same as you.- What?!

0:48:23 > 0:48:27I came here looking for pieces of my heart.

0:48:27 > 0:48:34No! Know what I've been doing? Thinking of you. I haven't left my telephone.

0:48:34 > 0:48:37You gave me a LONDON number.

0:48:37 > 0:48:43Oh, ehm... well, I had to come here... a little business.

0:48:43 > 0:48:47I saw a few of them in bathing suits.

0:48:47 > 0:48:50Oh, no! Nothing like that.

0:48:50 > 0:48:55- Why didn't you leave a message? - I did.- You did?!

0:48:55 > 0:49:00- But they said that you'd left London.- Mimi, you DID call.

0:49:00 > 0:49:03- Wonderful.- I'd better leave now.

0:49:03 > 0:49:08Please don't go. There's a gala night...

0:49:08 > 0:49:14- It's usually terrible! - Well, it's worth staying here to miss it!

0:49:14 > 0:49:17- Don't ask me to stay.- I won't.

0:49:17 > 0:49:21Don't go. I've so many things to say to you.

0:49:21 > 0:49:27# Like the beat, beat, beat of the tom-tom When the jungle shadows fall

0:49:27 > 0:49:32# Like the tick, tick, tock of the stately clock as it stands against the wall

0:49:32 > 0:49:38# Like the drip, drip, drip of the raindrops when the summer shower is through

0:49:38 > 0:49:43# So a voice within me keeps repeating you, you, you!

0:49:43 > 0:49:48# Night and day, you are the one

0:49:48 > 0:49:54# Only you beneath the moon and under the sun

0:49:55 > 0:49:58# Whether near to me or far

0:49:58 > 0:50:02# It's no matter, darling, where you are

0:50:02 > 0:50:06# I think of you night and day

0:50:07 > 0:50:12# Day and night why is it so?

0:50:12 > 0:50:18# That this longing for you follows wherever I go?

0:50:18 > 0:50:22# In the roaring traffic's boom

0:50:22 > 0:50:25# In the silence of my lonely room

0:50:25 > 0:50:30# I think of you night and day

0:50:30 > 0:50:35# Night and day under the hide of me

0:50:35 > 0:50:42# There's an oh, such a hungry yearning burning inside of me

0:50:42 > 0:50:49# This torment won't be through Till you let me spend my life making love to you

0:50:49 > 0:50:54# Day and night night and day! #

0:53:43 > 0:53:45Cigarette?

0:53:48 > 0:53:53I still don't know what you're doing here.

0:53:54 > 0:53:57I came down with my aunt.

0:53:57 > 0:54:02I'm here with MY aunt - Aunt Egbert.

0:54:03 > 0:54:05Egbert?

0:54:05 > 0:54:11Egbert Fitzgerald, a lawyer friend. We're here on a case.

0:54:11 > 0:54:19When two people are destined to come together, as we are, there's no use in struggling.

0:54:19 > 0:54:25- Do you believe in destiny? - There's no such thing as chance.

0:54:25 > 0:54:29Chance is the fool's name for fate!

0:54:33 > 0:54:35YOU?!

0:54:35 > 0:54:37YOU?!

0:54:42 > 0:54:44Me?

0:54:44 > 0:54:47Why, yes, of course it is.

0:54:47 > 0:54:53- So, YOU'RE the man I've been waiting for!- None other!

0:54:53 > 0:54:59I'll be waiting for you in my room, 216, at midnight.

0:55:21 > 0:55:27It's 12 o'clock! It feels like New Year's Eve!

0:55:27 > 0:55:30- Good luck!- Don't leave me.

0:55:30 > 0:55:33He seemed so different!

0:55:33 > 0:55:38There's nothing different about ANY of them, except their ties!

0:55:38 > 0:55:42HIM, of all people! Aren't you astonished?

0:55:42 > 0:55:49ME, astonished? I haven't been astonished since I was eight!

0:55:49 > 0:55:56I'll give him the most miserable night of his business career!

0:55:56 > 0:56:00You're going to a lot of trouble!

0:56:00 > 0:56:07- It's so degrading! - After all, a co-respondent must be something of an artiste.

0:56:07 > 0:56:12He has to have a sense of balance. Like a mountain goat!

0:56:12 > 0:56:17I'll get Egbert. He must be lost without me.

0:56:29 > 0:56:33Don't run away. I knew you were coming here.

0:56:33 > 0:56:38- You knew?- Of course. I'm Mimi's aunt.

0:56:38 > 0:56:46- I know, but I have relatives too. This isn't exactly old home week. - Nothing is ever done without me.

0:56:46 > 0:56:52- You're not planning to be there? - Of course not!- Just a moment...

0:56:52 > 0:57:00- I don't know Mimi very well. Would you tell me about her? - I'll let HER tell you.

0:57:00 > 0:57:07- If she has to keep you here, she'll want something to talk about.- Keep me here?

0:57:07 > 0:57:12- She has to!- Which one of us is crazy?- It's not ME!

0:57:12 > 0:57:20- This is a bit of a shock to me. - Your being here is a shock to Mimi.- But it's her own doing.

0:57:20 > 0:57:25It's better to settle this now, then she can start a new life.

0:57:25 > 0:57:28A...eh...new life?

0:57:28 > 0:57:32BRAND new. She'll make a clean sweep.

0:57:32 > 0:57:35- I see.- Yes! You're the broom.

0:58:09 > 0:58:12I'll be right out.

0:59:01 > 0:59:04I'm sorry I've kept you waiting.

0:59:06 > 0:59:12- Mimi. Mimi, there's something I want to get straight.- Yes?

0:59:12 > 0:59:20- At first you were so shy and reserved, then you were... - What was I ?

0:59:21 > 0:59:27- Lovely.- Was I ?- Yes. But that's not what I'm trying to say.

0:59:27 > 0:59:34- What ARE you trying to say? - I'm trying to describe the shock. You see, eh...

0:59:34 > 0:59:39That negligee is charming. From Paris, isn't it?

0:59:39 > 0:59:44You ought to know. You've seen plenty!

0:59:44 > 0:59:48- Well...a few, of course. - Of course(!)

0:59:50 > 0:59:53Oh, but never one like that.

0:59:53 > 0:59:56- Mimi...- Stay where you are! - What?

0:59:56 > 1:00:02Keep your distance. I want you to sit THERE.

1:00:05 > 1:00:08What's the matter with it?

1:00:12 > 1:00:15We're going through with this in a dignified silence.

1:00:15 > 1:00:19I'd prefer it.

1:00:28 > 1:00:31It's warm, isn't it?

1:00:33 > 1:00:36Do you mind if I recite capitals?

1:00:36 > 1:00:38What?!

1:00:38 > 1:00:45Capitals of States. North Dakota - Bismarck... I used to do it as a boy.

1:00:45 > 1:00:52- I don't care what you did as a boy.- Well, I did nothing as a girl.

1:00:54 > 1:00:57- Oh, Mimi...- Keep your place.

1:01:02 > 1:01:09Geev me a name for chance, and I'm a fool. Captain! Captain!

1:01:09 > 1:01:12Maybe I make meestake.

1:01:16 > 1:01:21Fate is a foolish theeng to take chances with.

1:01:21 > 1:01:23So are you!

1:01:24 > 1:01:28Oh...scusi. You are not the lady.

1:01:47 > 1:01:54- Stay where you are! - I thought that after the few lovely moments we've had...

1:01:54 > 1:01:59How can you have the impudence to speak of that now?

1:01:59 > 1:02:07- I suppose it's the callousness of your kind.- MY kind? - You didn't fool me for a moment.

1:02:07 > 1:02:10I know how you make a living.

1:02:10 > 1:02:18- Well, it DOES bring in a decent income.- Some people will do ANYTHING for money.

1:02:18 > 1:02:21It's not that bad.

1:02:21 > 1:02:26- I bring pleasure to thousands... - THOUSANDS?!- Tens of thousands.

1:02:26 > 1:02:32- I bring romance to shopgirls, servants...- Spare me, Bluebeard!

1:02:34 > 1:02:37- Mimi... - KNOCK ON DOOR

1:02:38 > 1:02:44- Are you expecting someone? - Of course. But not till morning.

1:02:44 > 1:02:47Who is it?

1:02:47 > 1:02:50I'd better get outta here!

1:02:54 > 1:03:02I have something important to tell you! Now, what was it? It was something about that man.

1:03:02 > 1:03:10- What man?- Oh, yes! Have you got the right one? - He gave me the password.

1:03:10 > 1:03:15Well, a man downstairs said something about fate to me,

1:03:15 > 1:03:19then he said, "You're not the lady."

1:03:19 > 1:03:26- Now, I can't be sure... - Wouldn't it be awful if I'd made a mistake?- Go and ask him.

1:03:26 > 1:03:34- But I'll have to confess why I'm here.- Don't ask, then. But find out all you can!

1:03:34 > 1:03:39- How shall I treat him? - Be feminine and sweet.

1:03:39 > 1:03:44I must go and find Egbert and tell him about this.

1:03:46 > 1:03:50You don't think Egbert is hiding from me, do you?

1:03:58 > 1:04:01May I...run along now?

1:04:01 > 1:04:04Oh, must you go just yet?

1:04:04 > 1:04:09Won't you come in and sit down for a while?

1:04:09 > 1:04:12I didn't do so well in here.

1:04:12 > 1:04:16Well, if you'd rather stay out there...

1:04:20 > 1:04:27Guy, do you think it was fair NOT to tell me something of your work?

1:04:27 > 1:04:31I've been trying to forget about it.

1:04:31 > 1:04:37Well, er...how did you get started in your career?

1:04:37 > 1:04:41Oh, I was started by a well-known actress.

1:04:41 > 1:04:43Oh.

1:04:43 > 1:04:47And the thousands and thousands came later!

1:04:47 > 1:04:51She encouraged me from my first step.

1:04:51 > 1:04:54- First step?- Yes.

1:04:54 > 1:04:59DANCE step. I'm a dancer. You knew that, of course.

1:05:00 > 1:05:03- Do you mind?- Ohh!

1:05:03 > 1:05:06Oh, why, no... No, I'm GLAD!

1:05:06 > 1:05:09I'm GLAD!

1:05:09 > 1:05:14You're the most emotionally unstable girl I've ever met.

1:05:18 > 1:05:23I am fate to take foolish chances weeth.

1:05:23 > 1:05:25- MAN HITS MR TORNETTI! - Tornetti!

1:05:29 > 1:05:30Tornetti.

1:05:33 > 1:05:41I cannot find the lady. I give everywhere the password. Everywhere I get the slaps.

1:05:41 > 1:05:46I forgot to tell you her name! Mrs Green, room 216.

1:05:46 > 1:05:51- Si, senor. Scusi.- No more prowling round this hotel.

1:05:51 > 1:05:59- Be sure the lady doesn't leave her room before morning. - I stay till detectives arrive.

1:05:59 > 1:06:02Right, and... Oh, my word!

1:06:02 > 1:06:05I forgot about the detectives!

1:06:05 > 1:06:10Detectives or no detectives, Tornetti he gets paid!

1:06:10 > 1:06:15I'll rush to London and bring the detectives back!

1:06:17 > 1:06:20- Egbert!- Detectives...

1:06:20 > 1:06:28- Where were you going? - I...I was looking for YOU. - I have something to tell you.

1:06:28 > 1:06:33- I've got to go to London. - I must tell you!- What is it?

1:06:33 > 1:06:36I can't remember what it is!

1:06:36 > 1:06:40You drive everything out of my head.

1:06:40 > 1:06:45- Well, I can't wait. - I'll go to London with you.

1:06:45 > 1:06:51- What?- It'll come back to me. Besides, you mustn't ride alone at night.

1:06:51 > 1:06:57- I bet you say that to every man you marry! - Oh, Egbert!- Come on!

1:07:16 > 1:07:25- Aren't the shadows on the sand lovely?- Yes.- And the light on the water...and the moon...

1:07:27 > 1:07:31Look, the moon's coming out. Look, Guy.

1:07:32 > 1:07:37- It came out! - Oh, isn't it BEAUTIFUL?

1:07:41 > 1:07:48- I wonder what causes that peculiar effect? - That's what I'M wondering.

1:07:48 > 1:07:53- Mimi, who is that man who went into your room?- Man?

1:07:53 > 1:08:00- How many men did you invite here tonight?- Oh... - Mimi, are you married?

1:08:00 > 1:08:04- Wh-what?- Is it your husband? - Husband?- Yes.

1:08:08 > 1:08:11Oh, scusi, please, scusi.

1:08:11 > 1:08:16- What are you doing here? - Chances are that fate is foolish!

1:08:16 > 1:08:21Oh...oh...will you please stay here just a minute?

1:08:24 > 1:08:27- It...it's no-one.- No-one?!

1:08:27 > 1:08:32- Mimi, what's he doing here? - He's...he's here on business!

1:08:32 > 1:08:34- Business?- Mmm.

1:08:34 > 1:08:42- Let's look at the moon. - I'll throw him out.- You can't! - Who is he?

1:08:42 > 1:08:44Well, he's...

1:08:45 > 1:08:48- I AM married.- You? Married?

1:08:48 > 1:08:51To a geologist.

1:08:51 > 1:08:56- Then it IS your husband!- No! I won't be married for long.

1:08:56 > 1:09:01I'm getting a divorce, and he's here to help me get it.

1:09:01 > 1:09:04Wait a minute...

1:09:04 > 1:09:11- Are you the woman whose divorce Egbert Fitzgerald is handling? - Mmm.- Oh-oh!

1:09:11 > 1:09:18- And you thought - I- was your co-respondent? How could you?

1:09:18 > 1:09:23- Well, you said the right words. - What right words?

1:09:25 > 1:09:28Oh, scusi, please, scusi.

1:09:28 > 1:09:33Fate is the foolish thing! Take a chance!

1:09:33 > 1:09:40- Are YOU the co-respondent? - Rudolfo Tornetti at your serveece!

1:09:42 > 1:09:50- You are no longer needed.- What? - I am taking your place. - Are you a Union man?

1:09:54 > 1:09:57Are you hired by Mr Egbert too?

1:09:57 > 1:10:02Mr Tornetti, this gentleman isn't going to stay.

1:10:02 > 1:10:06- Then you DO need me. - No. Get out.

1:10:06 > 1:10:09- But, Guy...- He might be a tenor!

1:10:09 > 1:10:13Si, si, senor! Leesten! HE SINGS LA DONNA E MOBILE

1:10:13 > 1:10:16I was wrong(!)

1:10:16 > 1:10:19- I'm gonna throw him out!- Guy!

1:10:19 > 1:10:24I have contract! I sue! First, for my ear...

1:10:24 > 1:10:31- second, for my honour... - I'm here for a divorce. Mr Tornetti must stay.

1:10:31 > 1:10:36- If HE stays,- I- stay. I feel crowded, but that's life.

1:10:36 > 1:10:42TELEPHONE RINGS At last, my call, she comes!

1:10:44 > 1:10:46Hello.

1:10:46 > 1:10:49Hello, Maria!

1:10:49 > 1:10:54Six times I call you, and you are boozy.

1:10:54 > 1:10:57Yes, the boozy signal.

1:10:57 > 1:11:01Oh, si, I am all right. No. Blonde.

1:11:01 > 1:11:05Just a blonde.

1:11:05 > 1:11:10Excusez, I talk to zee wife. She want to know all about you.

1:11:11 > 1:11:14Yes. Keeess the kiddies for me.

1:11:15 > 1:11:20What? What? Maria!

1:11:20 > 1:11:23Who is that a-speaking to you?

1:11:23 > 1:11:25What?

1:11:26 > 1:11:29No! No possible!

1:11:29 > 1:11:36What do you theenk? My son, Rudolfo, heez voice is changing!

1:11:41 > 1:11:44Goodnight, sweetheart.

1:11:46 > 1:11:52You stay. Tornetti does not care. But no monkey beezness!

1:11:52 > 1:11:57- The lady must not leave the room. - We're prisoners?!

1:11:57 > 1:12:03- I won't take the lady away. - I will see that you don't.- Thanks.

1:12:03 > 1:12:09- Maybe you want to play breedge? - No, thank you.- No?- Not a bit.

1:12:09 > 1:12:15All right. I play solitaire. Remember not to leave. I watch.

1:12:15 > 1:12:19I don't want to drag you into this.

1:12:19 > 1:12:22But I WANT to be in it!

1:12:22 > 1:12:27I don't think it'll be so bad being a prisoner here.

1:12:27 > 1:12:29Hello, hello!

1:12:30 > 1:12:35- MUSIC PLAYS - Doesn't sound like a prisoner's song!

1:12:37 > 1:12:44- Not a bad tune. What is it? - It's the newest thing over here, "The Continental".

1:12:44 > 1:12:47- "The Continental"?- Mmm.- Oh.

1:12:47 > 1:12:49I like it.

1:12:50 > 1:12:55That's another thing I'd like to take home with me!

1:12:55 > 1:12:58- You know the words?- Mmm.

1:12:58 > 1:13:01# Beautiful music

1:13:03 > 1:13:06# Dangerous rhythm

1:13:06 > 1:13:12# It's something daring The Continental, a way of dancing that's really ultra-new

1:13:12 > 1:13:17# It's subtle, The Continental It does what you want it to do

1:13:19 > 1:13:22# It has passion, The Continental

1:13:22 > 1:13:26# An invitation to moonlight and romance

1:13:26 > 1:13:31# It's a fashion, The Continental Tell of your love as you dance

1:13:31 > 1:13:34# Your lips whisper so tenderly

1:13:36 > 1:13:39# Her eyes answer your song

1:13:39 > 1:13:43# Two bodies swaying, The Continental

1:13:43 > 1:13:46# Saying what you're dreaming of

1:13:46 > 1:13:49# Keep on dancing, The Continental A song of romance and of love!

1:13:53 > 1:13:55# Kiss while you're dancing... #

1:13:55 > 1:14:02- Not a bad idea! - # It's continental Mmmm! Continental!

1:14:02 > 1:14:05# You sing while you're dancing

1:14:05 > 1:14:10# Your voice is gentle and sentimental

1:14:10 > 1:14:14# You stroll together arm-in-arm

1:14:14 > 1:14:19# Nonchalantly glide along with grace and charm

1:14:19 > 1:14:23# You will find while you're dancing

1:14:23 > 1:14:30# There's a rhythm in your heart and soul Rhythm that you can't control

1:14:30 > 1:14:34# You'll do The Continental all the time! #

1:14:45 > 1:14:48Oh, can't we join the fun?

1:14:48 > 1:14:53- What if our gaoler catches us? - I forgot about him!

1:15:02 > 1:15:06- What is it?- An idea! An idea!

1:15:08 > 1:15:11Is this one of those...?

1:15:13 > 1:15:19I know how we can get out without our friend missing us!

1:15:19 > 1:15:23This is something I used to do as a boy!

1:15:23 > 1:15:29- BOTH: I don't care what you did as a boy!- I know!

1:15:29 > 1:15:32This might work, though.

1:15:32 > 1:15:38- You've got me cutting out paper dolls!- Oh, I see!

1:15:38 > 1:15:41Well, I'll go change!

1:16:30 > 1:16:35- That's cute!- THAT'S beautiful! Come on!

1:16:53 > 1:16:57BAND PLAYS THE CONTINENTAL

1:17:13 > 1:17:17What's this? Stand back!

1:20:47 > 1:20:49Look!

1:21:03 > 1:21:07# Beautiful music

1:21:07 > 1:21:11# Dangerous rhythm

1:21:11 > 1:21:18# It's something daring, The Continental, a way of dancing That's really ultra-new

1:21:18 > 1:21:23# It's subtle, The Continental It does what you want it to do

1:21:23 > 1:21:28# It has passion, The Continental An invitation to romance

1:21:28 > 1:21:34# It's in fashion, The Continental Tell of your love as you dance

1:21:34 > 1:21:39# Your lips whisper so tenderly

1:21:39 > 1:21:41# Her eyes answer your song

1:21:41 > 1:21:47# Two bodies swaying, The Continental Saying what you're thinking of

1:21:47 > 1:21:51# Keep on dancing The Continental

1:21:51 > 1:21:54# It's a song of romance and love

1:21:55 > 1:21:59# You kiss while you're dancing

1:21:59 > 1:22:03# It's continental The Continental

1:22:05 > 1:22:08# You sing while you're dancing

1:22:08 > 1:22:12# Your voice is gentle so sentimental

1:22:12 > 1:22:16# You know before the dance is through

1:22:16 > 1:22:21# That you're in love with she and she's in love with you!

1:22:21 > 1:22:24# You'll find while you're dancing

1:22:24 > 1:22:29# There's a rhythm in your heart and soul

1:22:29 > 1:22:33# You'll do The Continental all the time! #

1:23:34 > 1:23:42# Dukes and lords of noble station love the new sophistication of The Continenta-a-a-a-l!

1:23:42 > 1:23:50# In a Belgian hallroom In a Monte Carlo ballroom You will see The Continental!

1:23:50 > 1:23:54# In a Paris bistro crowded with the pash

1:23:54 > 1:23:59# You will see The Continental in the best French fashion

1:23:59 > 1:24:06# Spain and Italy, Transylvannia, Norway, Sweden and Rumania do The Continental!

1:24:06 > 1:24:14# On the dykes of the Zider Zee Wooden shoes have found the key To the Continenta-a-l!

1:24:15 > 1:24:20# It's like a fever It's like a plague

1:24:20 > 1:24:23# It's swept all Europe

1:24:23 > 1:24:26# From Moscow to the Hague!

1:24:29 > 1:24:32# You kiss while you're dancing

1:24:32 > 1:24:36# The Continental drivin' you wild!

1:24:36 > 1:24:40# The Continental it isn't so mild!

1:24:40 > 1:24:44# You sing while you're dancing

1:24:44 > 1:24:51# His voice is gentle The Continental A metre that you understand

1:24:51 > 1:24:58# You know before the dance is through That you're in love with her

1:24:58 > 1:25:00# And she's in love with you!

1:25:00 > 1:25:03# You'll find while you're dancing

1:25:03 > 1:25:08# There's a rhythm in your heart and soul A certain rhythm you can't control

1:25:08 > 1:25:11# The Continental!

1:25:11 > 1:25:13# The Continental!

1:25:13 > 1:25:17# The Continenta-a-a-a-a-a-al! #

1:26:51 > 1:26:54He's gone! Come on!

1:28:41 > 1:28:44BIRDS SING

1:29:13 > 1:29:18- Why did you do theese? - To be sure of you.- Oh, signor!

1:29:18 > 1:29:21KNOCK ON DOOR

1:29:21 > 1:29:26- Who is thees?- I don't know! You've done this before.

1:29:26 > 1:29:30- I know. But you upset my routine. - Answer it!

1:29:35 > 1:29:38Who ees it? < The waiter!

1:29:38 > 1:29:43- The waiter.- Ask him what he wants. - What do you want?

1:29:43 > 1:29:47- < Breakfast. What shall we do?- Wait. Mimi!

1:29:47 > 1:29:54- Yes?- The waiter wants breakfast. - What?- The poor fella may be hungry.

1:29:54 > 1:29:57It's OUR breakfast. I ordered it.

1:29:57 > 1:30:02- It's our breakfast.- I open. - Good morning.

1:30:02 > 1:30:04Good morning. Good morning.

1:30:05 > 1:30:08- Were you comfortable?- Oh, yes.

1:30:08 > 1:30:11- Put that right here.- May I...?

1:30:11 > 1:30:18- Mr Tornetti, sit there. Guy, you sit there.- You know...

1:30:18 > 1:30:23- I'd like to have breakfast with you EVERY morning.- Yes!

1:30:23 > 1:30:26I hope you like what I ordered.

1:30:26 > 1:30:32- I've never had breakfast with two men before.- I have. It's no fun!

1:30:32 > 1:30:41- When the detectives arrive, be careful.- I hope they don't come soon. I've grown to like you both!

1:30:41 > 1:30:43So sweet!

1:30:43 > 1:30:46KNOCK ON DOOR

1:30:46 > 1:30:51- Guy, you'd better hide. - Let Tornetti hide.- YOU hide!

1:30:51 > 1:30:56- You want me to be free, don't you?- Call if you need me.

1:30:58 > 1:31:01Not over here! There! Anywhere!

1:31:04 > 1:31:06Coffee, ma'am?

1:31:07 > 1:31:11I've brought fresh coffee.

1:31:11 > 1:31:13- Guy.- Yes, dear?

1:31:13 > 1:31:16It's just the waiter.

1:31:16 > 1:31:20Next time, use a signal like this.

1:31:20 > 1:31:25- I can't dash in and out all the time.- All right, sir.

1:31:27 > 1:31:31The gentleman in this case is a scientist?

1:31:31 > 1:31:37- A distinguished scientist in his own field.- A geologist.

1:31:37 > 1:31:40- Did you mention geology? - Oh-oh!

1:31:40 > 1:31:47- I have an unnatural passion for rocks.- You should be ashamed!

1:31:47 > 1:31:49It's a wonderful thing, geology.

1:31:49 > 1:31:57Geologically speaking, this island of Great Britain is 500,000,003½ years old!

1:31:57 > 1:32:00How do you know it's that old?

1:32:00 > 1:32:06Professor Brown told me it was 500,000,000 years old, 3½ years ago!

1:32:06 > 1:32:09- Who was that?- Professor Brown.

1:32:09 > 1:32:14Him and his wife stopped at the last place I worked.

1:32:14 > 1:32:20He told me that this sea coast is really an igneous intrusion.

1:32:20 > 1:32:27- You know, you're somewhat of an igneous intrusion yourself.- Thank you!

1:32:34 > 1:32:37Now... KNOCK ON DOOR

1:32:38 > 1:32:44- Is that the way I've to knock? - Yes, thank you.

1:32:44 > 1:32:46Thank you!

1:32:46 > 1:32:50What a day this is going to be!

1:32:50 > 1:32:55- Well, Mrs Glossip...- Hello! - Quiet, please! Oh, Guy!

1:32:55 > 1:33:01- THAT'S what I was trying to remember!- Was it?- Yes!

1:33:01 > 1:33:04This is my Mimi.

1:33:04 > 1:33:11- Oh, really? Tornetti, if you have bungled this job... - Scusi, signor!

1:33:11 > 1:33:16- Guy, you're messing this up! - The detectives...?

1:33:16 > 1:33:22- Even better!- This'll be good(!) - I have brought Mr Glossip!

1:33:22 > 1:33:25- My husband?- Yes.- The husband?!

1:33:25 > 1:33:30- Guy, get out!- No more hiding. - Please, Guy.

1:33:30 > 1:33:35All right, I'll hide. But call if you need me.

1:33:36 > 1:33:39- Call anyhow.- Yes, I will.

1:33:39 > 1:33:47- It was MY idea to have your husband here. - Hortense, why did you do that?

1:33:47 > 1:33:53- Courage! He won't shoot. - Let's wait for the shooting. Shoot?!

1:33:53 > 1:33:57Never before have I met the husband!

1:33:57 > 1:34:04- Where are the detectives? - I can't do anything about that, he's on his way!

1:34:04 > 1:34:07Do something! Look amorous!

1:34:07 > 1:34:10Hortense...never mind. Come on!

1:34:10 > 1:34:13This ees too much for Tornetti.

1:34:13 > 1:34:16- KNOCK ON DOOR - Oh, quick!

1:34:16 > 1:34:23- What shall we do? - Look amorous. Like thees! - You look sick!

1:34:25 > 1:34:27Try thees.

1:34:29 > 1:34:32Come in!

1:34:32 > 1:34:35I hope I knocked the right way.

1:34:37 > 1:34:40You've a-spoiled everything.

1:34:40 > 1:34:45- I came for the dishes.- Leave them. Do something with him.

1:34:45 > 1:34:48- Go quickly there.- Yes. Hide him.

1:34:48 > 1:34:50Hurry!

1:34:50 > 1:34:57- Please, sir!- Hi, waiter! - Hello, sir.- You hiding too? - Yes, sir.

1:34:57 > 1:34:59Now, once more.

1:34:59 > 1:35:03KNOCK ON DOOR C-come in!

1:35:10 > 1:35:12Cyril!

1:35:15 > 1:35:18Who is this fellow?

1:35:19 > 1:35:24- This is my husband. - I'm so very please!

1:35:24 > 1:35:31- You haven't answered! - I must confess. He's my...

1:35:31 > 1:35:35This object? Huh! I don't believe it.

1:35:35 > 1:35:41He has all the ear-marks of a hired co-respondent.

1:35:41 > 1:35:46That is not true. She love me and I love she!

1:35:46 > 1:35:54Mimi, you amuse me. I'd never believe it with HIM, this hairdresser!

1:35:56 > 1:35:58Guy! Guy!

1:35:58 > 1:36:03I'm sorry to ask you to do this. Kiss me!

1:36:03 > 1:36:06I'm not sorry!

1:36:06 > 1:36:08Bravo!

1:36:08 > 1:36:11And who, pray, is this?

1:36:11 > 1:36:14After the divorce, we'll marry!

1:36:14 > 1:36:19- WHAT divorce?- Aren't you going to divorce me?!

1:36:19 > 1:36:23No, my dear, I'm going to forgive you.

1:36:23 > 1:36:27Forgeeve her! CURSES IN ITALIAN

1:36:29 > 1:36:34Enough of this nonsense. Mimi, come home at once!

1:36:34 > 1:36:37You're a lamb who has strayed.

1:36:37 > 1:36:41And you are an ineffectual little puppy!

1:36:44 > 1:36:47I'll throw him out.

1:36:47 > 1:36:49No, Guy!

1:36:49 > 1:36:52May I go? I've got work to do.

1:36:52 > 1:36:56- Go ahead.- Hello, Professor Brown.

1:36:57 > 1:37:02- Professor Brown?! - How are you, Professor?

1:37:02 > 1:37:07- Is this your friend, the rock thrower?- Yes.

1:37:07 > 1:37:12He doesn't know what he's talking about. I don't know this man!

1:37:12 > 1:37:18Remember the chats we had about rocks, you, me and your wife?

1:37:19 > 1:37:22No. I do not.

1:37:22 > 1:37:27- Would you know the Professor's wife?- Yes.

1:37:27 > 1:37:31- Mmm-hhh! - Am- I- Mrs Brown?

1:37:31 > 1:37:37- No. You're Mrs GREEN. - Well, strike me pink!

1:37:37 > 1:37:42Mrs Brown was French. She couldn't speak English.

1:37:43 > 1:37:48Why, Buster Brown! Most unfossilish of you, sir!

1:37:48 > 1:37:54- I've got to catch a train. Let me past.- I will not.

1:38:01 > 1:38:03Well?

1:38:03 > 1:38:09- Did it work?- Did it work? Meet the future Mrs Holden!

1:38:09 > 1:38:14- Father will be proud of me! - Egbert and I are to be married.

1:38:14 > 1:38:18Darling, we WERE married last night!

1:38:18 > 1:38:22Last night? Why, of course, so we were!

1:38:22 > 1:38:28Let's all hurry back to London and have a big celebration!

1:38:28 > 1:38:32Scusi! I'm very good at parties!

1:39:57 > 1:40:01Subtitles by Janice Hamilton BBC - 1989