0:01:56 > 0:01:57Once upon a time...
0:02:00 > 0:02:05..during those incredible years after World War One,
0:02:05 > 0:02:11when ruthless warlords ruled the people of China...
0:02:11 > 0:02:18My grandchildren never weary of hearing that most thrilling tale
0:02:18 > 0:02:22of how I got the legendary Lotus X
0:02:22 > 0:02:26out of China once and for all.
0:02:26 > 0:02:32My real troubles began in a little hillside town
0:02:32 > 0:02:35near the Tibetan border.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41IN CHINESE: Is that him?
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Hurry up!
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Wake up!
0:02:54 > 0:02:55Follow that yak!
0:03:07 > 0:03:10SQUAWK!
0:03:12 > 0:03:15SQUAWK! SQUAWK!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Go away!
0:03:21 > 0:03:23< SPLASH!
0:03:52 > 0:03:57Thanks, old boy! I don't think you're abominable at all!
0:04:21 > 0:04:26- Good afternoon, Lord Southmere. - Oh, what-o, Bunky.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Did you get Lotus X?
0:04:29 > 0:04:34- I'd rather not talk about it here. - Of course.
0:04:34 > 0:04:40- What IS Lotus X?- The greatest thing since the Chinese invented gunpowder.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43Does Marshal Wu Tsai know you've pinched his Lotus X?
0:04:43 > 0:04:49I think you could say that. He went absolutely bonkers!
0:04:49 > 0:04:54- His men searched me three times. - You will be glad...
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Don't mumble, man.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Your car, Your Lordship. - Oh, thank you.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Mr Haines has gone to look for Your Lordship's luggage.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05I've to pick him up later.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07CAR HORN BLOWS
0:05:12 > 0:05:14I haven't seen you before, driver.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16No. New boy.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22SQUEAL OF TYRES
0:05:22 > 0:05:29- Why are we taking this route? - Kensington High Street torn up.
0:05:29 > 0:05:34Go back to Kensington High Street, please.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Sir?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40I would guess your umbrella is actually a gun.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43For a new boy, your guess is accurate!
0:05:46 > 0:05:52Don't make a fuss, Your Lordship. We are followed by friends of mine.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Professional assassins?- Yes, sir.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03SCREECH!
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Come on!
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Well, I never did!
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Stop! Leave that!
0:06:34 > 0:06:38EVERYONE SHOUTING AT ONCE
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Stop that disturbance!
0:06:41 > 0:06:43RINGING
0:06:43 > 0:06:46RINGING
0:07:00 > 0:07:04Come on! Get out of here!
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Plan D.- Yes, master.
0:07:07 > 0:07:13- Outrageous! - Well, he won't get far.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16INSTRUCTIONS BEING ISSUED IN CHINESE
0:07:21 > 0:07:25Do you know anything about this lot, sir?
0:07:25 > 0:07:30This is a Chinese Cultural Mission. Just arrived.
0:07:30 > 0:07:37I see. Well...that explains it. Just doing my duty, sir. Sorry if...
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- We go inside, Quon.- Yes, master.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- You search over there.- Ha!- Ha!
0:08:03 > 0:08:07Lord Castleberry, find your nanny.
0:08:07 > 0:08:12She'll be all right. Do as I say!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Oh, all right!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12OH!
0:09:15 > 0:09:22- Search it!- No!- Prophet Jonah saved life by hiding in belly of whale.
0:09:22 > 0:09:28- Whale swallow Jonah for lunch. - No time for this discussion. Do it.
0:09:32 > 0:09:38- Why did you take my pram?- I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I... Nanny?
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Master Edward! How you've grown!
0:09:42 > 0:09:46I was only six when you left.
0:09:46 > 0:09:53- Are you all right?- No, I had a bump...I'm afraid I...I...
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Emily, get a doctor!
0:09:57 > 0:10:00No, Nanny. Listen.
0:10:00 > 0:10:05I'm on a mission. There's not a moment to lose.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Master Edward, your mind is wandering.
0:10:08 > 0:10:13It's Lotus X - a small piece of film. I hid it on the dinosaur.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16You must find it before the others do.
0:10:16 > 0:10:21- The big dinosaur. - The big dinosaur.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25- Shall we take it to the police? - No, no!
0:10:25 > 0:10:31- The Army?- The Prime Minister? - No, take it to...- He's fainted.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35Can we help, ladies?
0:10:35 > 0:10:43- Lord Southmere's had an accident.- I am well-known as a doctor in my own country.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45We will take a look at him.
0:10:45 > 0:10:55- I hope everything will be all right. They ARE foreigners!- Stop fussing. We'll do what Master Edward said.
0:11:02 > 0:11:10- I never dreamt Master Edward would be a secret agent. - Is that what he is?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12On our side, of course.
0:11:12 > 0:11:19- Where will we take Lotus X? - To the King. HE is trustworthy.
0:11:19 > 0:11:25There you are! Peter's nanny is fed up looking after Jennifer.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26I want my tea!
0:11:26 > 0:11:30This is closed for redecoration. Hop it!
0:11:30 > 0:11:35- Don't be impertinent. - Quiet, Emily. We'll come back.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Don't call us. We'll call you.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59I also do paper tearing, dragon imitations,
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Chinese card tricks and I throw my voice.
0:12:04 > 0:12:09- Nothing else?- Sometimes I double as Maitre D'. Very suave.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Start tonight. We split the tips.
0:12:14 > 0:12:20Curio shop as front had more dignity than this nightclub!
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Hrrh!
0:12:24 > 0:12:28Tell me, Quon. How is Englishman?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31One of us is beginning to crack.
0:12:31 > 0:12:37Have you ever had an Englishman explain a game of cricket to you?
0:12:40 > 0:12:45How well you know your business. The shriek of plumbing
0:12:45 > 0:12:51- like souls in torment! - This is the star dressing room!
0:12:51 > 0:12:54We do not intend to torture you.
0:12:54 > 0:13:03- No bamboo splinters underneath the fingernails?- You have seen too many films!
0:13:03 > 0:13:09- THIS seems a bit mediaeval. - We are people of ancient tradition.
0:13:09 > 0:13:14I'm not a spy. I'm just a simple businessman.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17That is the usual cover, isn't it?
0:13:17 > 0:13:22- Would you care to sit down? - That's nice of you.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29MUTTERINGS IN CHINESE
0:13:31 > 0:13:36Please tell us all you know about Lotus X.
0:13:36 > 0:13:42Lotus X. Isn't that what Mr Quon keeps harping on about?
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Only that bash I had... Put my memory on the blink.
0:13:46 > 0:13:56Loss of memory. Very convenient. I like the old days with bamboo splinters under the fingernails.
0:13:56 > 0:13:59Quon, I've got my own methods.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- Lord Southmere.- Listening, old boy.
0:14:05 > 0:14:13I think that to bring the formula into the country, you put it on a small piece of film,
0:14:13 > 0:14:16which was easy to hide.
0:14:17 > 0:14:23Whatever you say. I don't like to teach you fellows your business.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27- Where is the film now? - Where indeed?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Where...? Ah.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32When you came into the country,
0:14:32 > 0:14:36you and your luggage were carefully examined.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39You were watched day and night.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43There was no opportunity for you to pass it to anyone else.
0:14:43 > 0:14:48Hrrh! The nanny!
0:14:48 > 0:14:51The nanny in the museum.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54She was looking after you.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57Nice old girl, isn't she?
0:14:57 > 0:15:02- She has it, or knows where it is. - Whatever you say.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- Where does she live?- No idea.
0:15:05 > 0:15:10- I haven't seen her for 25 years. - 25 years?- Yes.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15- What is her name?- Well, I mean... - "Well, I mean...?"
0:15:15 > 0:15:19- Nanny.- I need some other name besides Nanny.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Everybody just calls her...Nanny!
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Ridiculous! Even for English!
0:15:27 > 0:15:32If there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable,
0:15:32 > 0:15:35please scream.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44- Find that nanny.- All English look alike. Those eyes.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47You cannot tell what they're thinking.
0:15:47 > 0:15:54Most times they think of nothing. Don't come back without Nanny.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Come along, dear.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07I have a relief nurse on my afternoons off.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09And she said, "Nevertheless,
0:16:09 > 0:16:12"I have decided to look after the children myself..."
0:16:18 > 0:16:21Come and sit down, Amy. >
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Master Peter kept me up all night.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28I think he does it to spite me.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30You know what children are like!
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Anything for attention!
0:16:45 > 0:16:48- Emily, so glad you came. - Is there word?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Just a moment.
0:16:50 > 0:16:55- Master Richard, go for a brisk walk.- I'm reading.
0:16:55 > 0:17:02Lady Alice doesn't like you reading. Said it gave his father brain fever.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06I want to take my snake for a crawl. All right.
0:17:06 > 0:17:11Wouldn't you like to go too? No, thank you.
0:17:11 > 0:17:17No word from Master Edward. His club haven't heard from him for months.
0:17:17 > 0:17:24- I wonder if that foreign gentleman WAS a doctor.- Can't we tell the police?
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Oh, no! Master Edward expressly forbade it.
0:17:37 > 0:17:44- What will we do?- I have a plan which is RATHER ingenious.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- What we do... - BABY CRIES
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Should we take him for a stroll?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58GRRR! GRRR!
0:17:58 > 0:18:04Then, Susan Carmody, who looks after Mrs Haven-Smythe's twins.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08Quite suitable for our operation.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Who else have we? Tilly Day!
0:18:11 > 0:18:13RATTLING
0:18:13 > 0:18:16They'll be waiting for us.
0:18:16 > 0:18:23I hope they measure up. Nannies are not like we were in our youth.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29Stop!
0:18:33 > 0:18:37Ha! Awake. Where is that confounded Quon?
0:18:37 > 0:18:38There.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47CRACKLE OF ICE
0:18:47 > 0:18:52What did you hear? What did Nanny lady say?
0:18:54 > 0:18:58I can't tell you the purpose of the mission,
0:18:58 > 0:19:02but it is of national importance.
0:19:02 > 0:19:08I know you will do your duty.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Meet at the Natural History Museum,
0:19:11 > 0:19:15at ten minutes before closing time.
0:19:18 > 0:19:24BELL RINGS Closing time. All visitors out, please.
0:19:25 > 0:19:31'Closing time. All visitors out. The museum is closing.'
0:19:31 > 0:19:34(We'll give them five minutes.)
0:19:35 > 0:19:42(How exciting! I feel biblical, hiding inside a whale's belly.)
0:19:42 > 0:19:44(Sssh. Someone's coming.)
0:19:45 > 0:19:49So glad you like our dinosaurs, Mr Spence.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52They got size. That's what we like.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55- I'm from Texas, you know.- Oh?
0:19:55 > 0:20:02Linda Sue wants to buy something antiquated. And preferably big.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06Doggone, we sure would make their eyes pop back home
0:20:06 > 0:20:11with one of them dinosaur things.
0:20:11 > 0:20:17We have no dinosaurs for sale now or in the future.
0:20:17 > 0:20:25Why, doggone, if you ain't as sly as a one-eyed Amarilla Coyote in Dallas chicken country.
0:20:25 > 0:20:33You KNOW this country boy's gonna have that big old dinosaur.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39All right, ladies.
0:21:29 > 0:21:35(Maureen, you take the first three ribs on the left.)
0:21:35 > 0:21:37(Nora, you take the next three.)
0:21:37 > 0:21:42(Daphne - the left fibia and tibia.)
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- (What's that?) - (The hind leg, of course.)
0:22:02 > 0:22:08(With all that weight, suppose the beast fell on us?)
0:22:08 > 0:22:12(We would be the first people in two million years)
0:22:12 > 0:22:16- (to be killed by a dinosaur.- Oh!)
0:22:32 > 0:22:33< Tea's up.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Oh! OH. Oh-ho!
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- Ahh!- (Quiet!)
0:22:50 > 0:22:54That's enough larking about.
0:22:56 > 0:23:03- Emily, what ARE you doing? - I decided to help them upstairs. All right, ladies.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Emily! Are you all right?
0:23:09 > 0:23:12A little dizzy, that's all.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Close your eyes and hold on.
0:23:14 > 0:23:20- I'll send someone to get you down. Stay on the ground in future.- Yes.
0:23:22 > 0:23:27Sorry, we have to go. We have children to look after.
0:23:27 > 0:23:28Of course you must.
0:23:28 > 0:23:34I didn't think this would take so long. Thank you all for coming.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Be quiet as you climb through the window.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Can I stay? My children are at the seaside.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46Of course. But have a cup of tea.
0:23:46 > 0:23:52I've never had such a wonderful time before! Whee!
0:23:52 > 0:23:55You don't behave like that in front of the children?
0:23:55 > 0:24:01Oh, no! But I do slide down the banisters sometimes.
0:24:01 > 0:24:06I wish you'd have another look at the left femur...
0:24:06 > 0:24:09I don't want to upset you,
0:24:09 > 0:24:15but we've been over every inch of that beast again and again.
0:24:15 > 0:24:22- Master Edward said, "You must find it before the others." - Whoever they are.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25"Others" already here.
0:24:25 > 0:24:30Excuse me, ladies. You will come with me.
0:24:33 > 0:24:38Attention, ladies. His Radiant Presence approaches. Hup!
0:24:41 > 0:24:45His Revered Master Hnup Wan.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Hnup Wan! Of course!
0:24:54 > 0:24:58I thought you looked familiar.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01But so important now!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03- You know me?- Of course.
0:25:03 > 0:25:09Who could ever forget darling little Panda Nose?
0:25:09 > 0:25:14- Pet of the Diplomatic set. - Panda Nose?
0:25:14 > 0:25:19Characteristic Occidental nonsense! English give their children pet names,
0:25:19 > 0:25:22like fish, puppies, kittens, fowl and the rest of it.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- Panda Nose!- Quon, Quon, that is enough.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Well, this IS nice.
0:25:29 > 0:25:33And your nanny said you would never amount to anything -
0:25:33 > 0:25:36a difficult child, clever in some ways,
0:25:36 > 0:25:42- but backward with your toilet training. - QUON GIGGLES
0:25:42 > 0:25:48- Milk or lemon?- Milk, of course. Mind you put it in before the tea.
0:25:48 > 0:25:55Chinese have been pouring tea many years before British even knew about it!
0:25:55 > 0:25:59- Ridiculous!- Historical fact.
0:25:59 > 0:26:08- Chinese were making tea when English were swinging from trees! - How DARE YOU, sir! Apologise...
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Emily, sit down, please.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15The Chinese people DID discover tea.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Which the English stole from us.
0:26:18 > 0:26:24English built mighty Empire on formula stolen from Chinese.
0:26:24 > 0:26:30It is a matter of making the tea properly. You rapidly boil...
0:26:30 > 0:26:36I DON'T NEED a lesson in how to make tea. I want Lotus X!
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Which Lord Southmere stole from us.
0:26:40 > 0:26:45- Marshal Wu Tsai insists on it being returned. Hrrh.- Hrrh.
0:26:45 > 0:26:52Perhaps ladies know what Lotus X is? That would help.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Be still, foolish one. Do you wish these foreign women to know
0:26:55 > 0:26:58YOU don't know what it is?
0:26:58 > 0:27:01You must forgive Mr Quon.
0:27:01 > 0:27:07With tortures he is best man in business, but he is young.
0:27:07 > 0:27:10Now then, where is Lord Southmere? What have you done with him?
0:27:10 > 0:27:13According to Mr Quon,
0:27:13 > 0:27:17you were seen to be searching for a small object
0:27:17 > 0:27:19on a dinosaur in the museum.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24You did not find it, so either your search was inadequate,
0:27:24 > 0:27:30or Lord Southmere did not tell you where it was.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Think what you like.
0:27:32 > 0:27:37- I DEMAND to see Lord Southmere. - Precisely what I wish you to do.
0:27:37 > 0:27:43FAN CHOY! Oh, there you are. Show these ladies the way.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Master Hnup.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Nanny will be very cross
0:27:49 > 0:27:55- if Lord Southmere is not in the best of health.- Yes, Nanny.
0:28:04 > 0:28:09You, the Tiger of China, let English women talk to you like that?
0:28:09 > 0:28:12They also call me The Muscle of Mongolia.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15But with her, you were tame little Panda Nose!
0:28:15 > 0:28:21I was brought up by an English nanny, hence my better English!
0:28:21 > 0:28:27Every time that woman speak, I tremble in every fibre.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32KUNG FU CRIES
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Move on, please.
0:28:45 > 0:28:48Hello, Nanny.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Master Edward, are you all right?
0:28:51 > 0:28:56- (Did you get the film?) - Those people interrupted us.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00It would have been easier if you had told Nanny
0:29:00 > 0:29:05where on dinosaur it was hidden.
0:29:05 > 0:29:11I can't remember. That bang on the head must have done it.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13This room is unhealthy. No air.
0:29:13 > 0:29:18- And they've chained you to the wall. - But on the bright side,
0:29:18 > 0:29:22amnesia very often disappear, given good care and attention.
0:29:22 > 0:29:27So out of compassion, I am leaving you THREE nurses to look after you
0:29:27 > 0:29:29till your memory returns.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31KEY TURNS
0:29:31 > 0:29:34We have children to look after!
0:29:34 > 0:29:39Fan Choy! Oh! Ask these ladies' employers
0:29:39 > 0:29:43- to make other arrangements. - Master Hnup!
0:29:50 > 0:29:56You wouldn't be afraid of a poor little old nanny like me?
0:29:56 > 0:29:58Would you?
0:29:58 > 0:30:00Yes, Nanny.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07He always was a rude boy.
0:30:07 > 0:30:13- How exciting! Imagine meeting a REAL spy!- I'm NOT a spy.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17- Why do you say that? - You're NOT a spy?
0:30:17 > 0:30:23Don't be upset, child. They always say that. This is Susan.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26- How d'you do?- Well, thank you.
0:30:26 > 0:30:31- Remember Emily? From the museum. - Oh-h, yes!
0:30:31 > 0:30:35Young woman. Telephone number.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39KUNG FU CRIES
0:30:39 > 0:30:41They must be VERY strong.
0:30:41 > 0:30:46I'M just as strong. Two times as strong.
0:30:46 > 0:30:52My boyfriend can throw up a brick and break it with one hand.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Very easy.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57Watch!
0:30:57 > 0:30:59HA!
0:31:04 > 0:31:08Wonderful! Do it again.
0:31:16 > 0:31:23Those bricks are crumbly. This is just a partition wall.
0:31:23 > 0:31:26Watch what I do to this wall.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Can YOU do that?
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Haaaa!
0:31:59 > 0:32:01Hurry up, Hettie.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44Well, it's you, Nanny.
0:32:44 > 0:32:52- What's the meaning of this curious behaviour?- Never you mind.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55- Go back to your beds.- All right.
0:32:55 > 0:32:59And put that snake back in its box.
0:33:05 > 0:33:11Broken wall being repaired. No-one will escape from dressing room now.
0:33:11 > 0:33:16In the meantime, important despatch from home.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24Why has this not been decoded?
0:33:24 > 0:33:28It has. First, English telegram system.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Next, we put it into secret code.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35Then through our own coding room. It's simple.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38If so simple, kindly read.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43Secret Communique.
0:33:43 > 0:33:49Cannot stress too strongly importance of Lotus X.
0:33:49 > 0:33:52Failure to recover will result in many heads rolling.
0:33:52 > 0:33:58Repeat: many heads will roll!
0:33:58 > 0:34:02Why so cheerful? I am aware you seek to replace me
0:34:02 > 0:34:06as Chief of London Intelligence Agency.
0:34:06 > 0:34:13Young warrior cannot be blamed for wanting to better himself.
0:34:13 > 0:34:18Do not indulge in self-congratulation.
0:34:18 > 0:34:24- There is much to do.- How shall we begin? Nannies find nothing.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28Unworthy one who seeks my job,
0:34:28 > 0:34:32I will now show you the difference which separates the lion from the jackal.
0:34:32 > 0:34:39Coolie from Lord of Creation, rickshaw boy from passenger.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41Yes?
0:34:41 > 0:34:44We shall steal dinosaur.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49Steal...dinosaur?
0:34:49 > 0:34:51Steal dinosaur.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55Oh-h-h-h-h!
0:34:55 > 0:35:01I tremble before my radiant lord and master. He is the rising sun.
0:35:01 > 0:35:07He is the mighty Yangtze River in spring flood!
0:35:07 > 0:35:10He is the rolling sea!
0:35:10 > 0:35:13He is the flowers of spring.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16I tremble.
0:35:16 > 0:35:19I am prostrate.
0:35:19 > 0:35:23Now you are getting the idea. Hrrh.
0:35:23 > 0:35:26CHILDREN SINGING
0:35:26 > 0:35:32- What do we do, now? Do you think those Chinese...?- Sssh!
0:35:33 > 0:35:37Master Richard, join in that game.
0:35:37 > 0:35:44I am too old for that. At my age, Mozart had composed six concertos.
0:35:44 > 0:35:49- Never mind foreign boys. Join in the game.- All right.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53I'm not climbing around on that dinosaur.
0:35:53 > 0:35:59You won't need to. I'm waiting for the Chinese to make a move.
0:35:59 > 0:36:00But how will we know?
0:36:03 > 0:36:09It's Susan's day off. I've sent her to Soho to keep an eye on them.
0:36:09 > 0:36:13That Italian coffee place.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17- The one opposite the nightclub? - We're going after the party.
0:36:17 > 0:36:22- Forbes, I'll be late tonight. Please look after the children. - Very good, Nanny.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25Emily...
0:36:25 > 0:36:30does that old clattering motorbike of yours still run?
0:36:30 > 0:36:31Of course it does.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34Bring it along. We may need it.
0:36:44 > 0:36:50- Has anything happened?- Only that I've had 12 coffees without milk.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55ENGINE BACKFIRES
0:36:58 > 0:37:03We're in luck. Just had it tuned. Look!
0:37:23 > 0:37:28"Limehouse Harmony Club Annual Outing?" I don't believe that!
0:37:41 > 0:37:44- They're making their move. - What move is it?
0:37:44 > 0:37:47- Emily, you follow them.- I'm off.
0:37:47 > 0:37:52- Telephone us here if you find out anything.- Can I go?- No!
0:38:10 > 0:38:16All those Chinese away at last. I'm going to rescue Master Edward.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19- Aren't I going too?- No.
0:38:19 > 0:38:25You wait for Emily to telephone. Something exciting will turn up for you!
0:39:05 > 0:39:08Nanny seems to be leading a double life.
0:39:13 > 0:39:14Come on.
0:39:20 > 0:39:21Ah!
0:39:47 > 0:39:51They're just masks. Jolly lifelike, though. Yes.
0:39:51 > 0:39:53SCREECH!
0:39:53 > 0:39:59Let's go. It's scaring my snake. Nonsense. We haven't found Nanny.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13'Operator.' Will you try Soho 3124 again, please?
0:40:15 > 0:40:17MAN SPEAKS IN ITALIAN
0:40:26 > 0:40:30'I'm sorry, Soho 3124 is still engaged.'
0:40:36 > 0:40:37(Here she comes.)
0:40:39 > 0:40:42Ahh! Ohh! Oooh!
0:40:42 > 0:40:46I don't know who you are, or what you think you're doing,
0:40:46 > 0:40:48but you can't frighten me.
0:40:50 > 0:40:54I told you it wouldn't work.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56SQUEAL OF TYRES
0:41:03 > 0:41:08Where's Hettie? She's trying to rescue Lord Southmere.
0:41:08 > 0:41:10Go and fetch her, quickly!
0:41:15 > 0:41:21- Thank goodness I found you, Master Edward.- Wonderful!
0:41:21 > 0:41:24My memory has come back.
0:41:24 > 0:41:30- I've come to get you OUT! - I remember where I hid the film.
0:41:30 > 0:41:35I climbed up the right-hand front leg and onto the vertebrae.
0:41:35 > 0:41:40I hid the piece of film on the nape of the neck.
0:41:40 > 0:41:45- Nape...- The Chinese are on their way to the museum.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48You must go over there right away.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02ENGINE BACKFIRES
0:42:03 > 0:42:07It's Lord Southmere, friend of father's,
0:42:07 > 0:42:08and he's in a pickle.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11Oh, it's young Castleberry.
0:42:11 > 0:42:16Don't worry, sir. We'll call the police. Have you out quickly.
0:42:16 > 0:42:19Not the police. Anything but that.
0:42:19 > 0:42:24You WANT to be chained?! Father always said you were odd.
0:42:24 > 0:42:30- Oh, really? Well, the situation is extremely sensitive.- What?
0:42:30 > 0:42:37- Don't want to cause embarrassment. - Can you explain that, sir?
0:42:37 > 0:42:40- No, my lips are sealed. - I've got it.
0:42:40 > 0:42:45- He's a spy.- WHY DOES... Why does everyone say that?
0:42:45 > 0:42:49- I'm a businessman.- Oh, dear.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52- What's wrong?- Henrietta's loose.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54Who's Henrietta?
0:42:54 > 0:42:56Oh!
0:42:56 > 0:42:59Bad, bad snake. Get in there!
0:43:00 > 0:43:03Goodbye, sir. Bye, sir.
0:43:14 > 0:43:20- One question, O brilliant master. - Yes, O youthful seeker of knowledge?
0:43:20 > 0:43:26Why are all the large boxes we have with us marked "Soy Sauce?"
0:43:26 > 0:43:31- Because they've got Soy Sauce in them.- Ah.
0:43:35 > 0:43:41What will we do with so much Soy Sauce?
0:43:41 > 0:43:48It is impolite to take a dinosaur without replacing it with something.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51BEEP BEEP! BELL RINGING
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Sorry! Whoops!
0:44:00 > 0:44:04You drive. I'll make the apologies.
0:44:10 > 0:44:12SHRILL WHISTLE >
0:44:17 > 0:44:22- Good evening, my good man. - Good evening.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25Kindly open the big door for me.
0:44:25 > 0:44:31I don't know about that, sir... Hang on a moment.
0:44:31 > 0:44:32Big door.
0:44:32 > 0:44:36- Mr Thumley!- What's the matter?
0:44:36 > 0:44:39Those Oriental blokes want me to open the big door.
0:44:39 > 0:44:44- What for? What Oriental blokes? - They've brought a load of crates too.
0:44:44 > 0:44:50- We're going the wrong way. - It's a short cut.- Don't try to be clever. Turn here.
0:44:50 > 0:44:52SCRE-ECH!
0:44:52 > 0:44:55Wait till I tell my mum about this!
0:44:55 > 0:44:58ALL TALK IN CHINESE
0:44:58 > 0:45:00Just a moment.
0:45:00 > 0:45:07- You are curator?- No. That would be Sir Geoffrey Wilkins.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10- He's in...- No, he's in Yugoslavia,
0:45:10 > 0:45:13acquiring a butterfly collection.
0:45:13 > 0:45:19Sir Geoffrey must have told you about the famous Hoan Ling collection.
0:45:19 > 0:45:24- A gift of Chinese Government to His Majesty's Museum.- No!
0:45:24 > 0:45:27He has forgotten?
0:45:27 > 0:45:33My government will take the most serious view of this.
0:45:33 > 0:45:37I shall have to telegraph Peking.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40There's been a misunderstanding.
0:45:40 > 0:45:44You blame this on Chinese?
0:45:44 > 0:45:47Ohhh, how typical!
0:45:47 > 0:45:50How typical! Aaah!
0:45:50 > 0:45:56I'm most dreadfully sorry. I'll telephone your ambassador.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04CRASH! SMASHING GLASS
0:46:15 > 0:46:17HE SPEAKS IN CHINESE
0:46:17 > 0:46:21Glad to see it's all going well.
0:46:21 > 0:46:27- What did ambassador say? - He was out of town, on holiday.
0:46:27 > 0:46:30- Picking up English habits. - I also pick up a thing or two.
0:46:30 > 0:46:36Please go ahead with whatever it was you planned to do.
0:46:36 > 0:46:40Sorry I didn't understand, sir.
0:46:40 > 0:46:44Ready for next part of plan Radiant.
0:46:44 > 0:46:50Bring out the dinosaur, but do not damage the floor.
0:46:50 > 0:46:54- Excuse me...- We're very busy. - I know you'll think me foolish,
0:46:54 > 0:46:59but it sounded as though you said you were taking the dinosaur!
0:46:59 > 0:47:03That is precisely what I did say.
0:47:03 > 0:47:08Look, I'm afraid we're having another misunderstanding.
0:47:08 > 0:47:13- Will I explain it in simple language?- Thank you.
0:47:13 > 0:47:15We want to borrow the dinosaur
0:47:15 > 0:47:21till we find what we want. Then we return it.
0:47:21 > 0:47:27- Surely Sir Geoffrey has told you about that?- Certainly not!
0:47:27 > 0:47:31This is not a lending library, you know!
0:47:31 > 0:47:38Oh dear, we are going to have an ugly squabb-ble. Fan Choy.
0:47:40 > 0:47:41Aaaah!
0:47:41 > 0:47:46They're going to steal our dinosaur.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49Oi! You leave that alone!
0:47:51 > 0:47:53Come on, lads.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56Dinosaur!
0:47:58 > 0:47:59MOVE.
0:48:23 > 0:48:24Stop 'em!
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Ow!
0:49:01 > 0:49:04Get the bone!
0:49:04 > 0:49:05ALL: Aaaaah!
0:49:21 > 0:49:24Aaargh!
0:49:56 > 0:50:02Nice goings-on! Where are you taking us? My wife likes me to keep regular hours!
0:50:02 > 0:50:04You go to countryside.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08FAN CHOY: Two days, then we let you go.
0:50:11 > 0:50:13My wife will want to know about this.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19GROANINGS AND EXCLAMATIONS
0:50:22 > 0:50:29- Not me, as well!- Sir Geoffrey has told you nothing at all.- Argh!
0:50:29 > 0:50:31- Dinosaur ready!- Ah.
0:50:33 > 0:50:34OH!
0:50:34 > 0:50:37It's alive!
0:50:38 > 0:50:41FAN CHOY: Nanny ladies steal dinosaur!
0:50:41 > 0:50:43We follow it!
0:51:01 > 0:51:04Are you sure you can drive this?
0:51:04 > 0:51:09- It's like an ordinary lorry. - Can you drive a lorry?- Of course!
0:51:09 > 0:51:13During the war, I drove the farm lorry.
0:51:14 > 0:51:20- They're after us.- I'll get those Chinese gentlemen so lost
0:51:20 > 0:51:22no-one will see them again.
0:51:32 > 0:51:37You are allowing those women to get away from us! You're supposed to be a good driver!
0:51:37 > 0:51:40- Oh!- Faster. Faster!
0:51:44 > 0:51:46Mind the fog!
0:51:51 > 0:51:53Dear me!
0:52:07 > 0:52:09CRASH!
0:52:09 > 0:52:14- Now you have lost them. - I will find them again!
0:52:14 > 0:52:18- Hrrh! Shut the door. - MUFFLED THUMPING
0:52:37 > 0:52:40Well?
0:52:40 > 0:52:46Always you are right, worthy master. I have lost them.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50Drive on, unworthy pupil.
0:52:50 > 0:52:51YELLS FROM OUTSIDE
0:52:51 > 0:52:53ALL: Argh!
0:52:53 > 0:52:59Everybody back in car. No, master. Everybody go home.
0:53:05 > 0:53:11- No sign of the Chinese. - Said I'd get rid of them.
0:53:11 > 0:53:16- Main road ahead. - I'll hoot the hooter.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19HOOT! HOOT!
0:53:23 > 0:53:25HOOT!
0:53:28 > 0:53:34- Where are we supposed to be going? - Haven't made up my mind.
0:53:34 > 0:53:38Don't know where we are now.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46THUMPING
0:53:46 > 0:53:50Darnation! Who the...?
0:53:51 > 0:53:53What the...?
0:53:55 > 0:53:58Very sorry, I'm sure.
0:54:03 > 0:54:08A couple of pockets picked, sir, and one nice smash and grab.
0:54:08 > 0:54:10- That's all.- Bank Holiday.
0:54:10 > 0:54:15Sharp boys must be off to the seaside.
0:54:15 > 0:54:21- Everything else calm, Eppers? - Would I lie to you, sir?
0:54:32 > 0:54:36You're strangely quiet, my love.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00This thing seems to be losing its zip.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03Try poking the fire, Emily.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06No good. It's almost out of coal.
0:55:06 > 0:55:09- Put more on, then.- All right.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23HORSE NEIGHS
0:55:23 > 0:55:25METALLIC CRASH
0:55:25 > 0:55:29- We're going better now. - Well, I've shovelled enough coal.
0:55:29 > 0:55:34- It's all over your face. - Just being thorough.
0:55:38 > 0:55:43MUSIC: "A Hundred Pipers"
0:55:45 > 0:55:50Och! Nessie! Why would she leave the crystal waters of Loch Ness
0:55:50 > 0:55:53for a dirty, muddy London river?
0:55:53 > 0:55:58A sad end indeed for the Scottish monster.
0:55:58 > 0:56:00Oh, come on.
0:56:05 > 0:56:08Our chaps are a bit restless tonight.
0:56:08 > 0:56:12It's the mating season, you know.
0:56:12 > 0:56:15Poor High Pockets.
0:56:15 > 0:56:18They haven't found her a mate yet.
0:56:25 > 0:56:29- More coal, Emily.- Oh, very well.
0:56:29 > 0:56:34Can I help? I can manage PERFECTLY well.
0:56:36 > 0:56:38RATTLING
0:56:38 > 0:56:40RATTLING
0:56:40 > 0:56:43Will you stop that infernal...?
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Good gracious.
0:56:47 > 0:56:52Wonderful luck! Creature I've never bagged before.
0:56:52 > 0:56:55It will look magnificent over the fireplace.
0:57:01 > 0:57:05CLICK Blast the thing!
0:57:05 > 0:57:06Aah!
0:57:06 > 0:57:09Come back in, dear. You know the night air is bad for you.
0:57:09 > 0:57:12I'll be back as soon as I can.
0:57:12 > 0:57:18Colonel Mortimer is riding on a dinosaur! How odd.
0:57:18 > 0:57:19He's fallen off.
0:57:22 > 0:57:26You there! Pull up!
0:57:26 > 0:57:31We must go after him. Extraordinary creature...
0:57:31 > 0:57:36- Has it got a long tail and neck? - Enormous!
0:57:36 > 0:57:38Drive on.
0:57:38 > 0:57:39Wait for me, sir!
0:57:39 > 0:57:41TEARING
0:57:42 > 0:57:46Drive on, man. Drive on.
0:57:57 > 0:58:00Dinosaur!
0:58:04 > 0:58:06Faster, man. Faster!
0:58:07 > 0:58:09BANG!
0:58:10 > 0:58:13They've found us again.
0:58:15 > 0:58:16HOOT!
0:58:16 > 0:58:19HOOT! SQUEAL OF TYRES
0:58:25 > 0:58:27HE CRIES OUT IN CHINESE
0:58:27 > 0:58:30Steady! Steady!
0:58:31 > 0:58:34I see it!
0:58:49 > 0:58:51Ha-ha-ha!
0:58:52 > 0:58:55Keep it straight, man.
0:58:58 > 0:59:03HOOT! HOOT!
0:59:03 > 0:59:05BEEP! BEEP!
0:59:05 > 0:59:08BANG! BANG!
0:59:09 > 0:59:12SCREECH!
0:59:19 > 0:59:21That's the wrong way!
0:59:36 > 0:59:38SCREECH...CRASH!
0:59:38 > 0:59:42Aren't you thrilled? No! I'm damaged.
0:59:44 > 0:59:47Help!
0:59:48 > 0:59:51What's happened to this road?
0:59:51 > 0:59:55It isn't a road. We're on a racecourse.
1:00:00 > 1:00:02Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.
1:00:02 > 1:00:07Evens on the long-necked filly. 4/1 today.
1:00:11 > 1:00:14Heh-heh! Move faster.
1:00:19 > 1:00:22BEEP! BEEP!
1:00:22 > 1:00:28- Stop your vehicle, madam.- Do NOT order me about, Panda Nose.
1:00:28 > 1:00:35- If not, I shall resort to the gravest measures.- Indeed!
1:00:41 > 1:00:46The long-necked filly's run out! Evens on the chestnut.
1:00:46 > 1:00:49- Where now?- Look out!
1:00:50 > 1:00:51And there's the other one.
1:00:53 > 1:00:55Stop fussing.
1:00:58 > 1:01:01- Faster!- Argh!
1:01:03 > 1:01:05BOTH: Argh! CRASH!
1:01:09 > 1:01:12Hee-hee! Ha-ha!
1:01:13 > 1:01:18Next time I drive both cars. Hrrh!
1:01:20 > 1:01:25- Wait a minute. - HOOT! HOOT!
1:01:25 > 1:01:32- We've just got on a train. - Oh, dear, how do you reverse?
1:01:32 > 1:01:34HOOT! HOOT!
1:01:37 > 1:01:44I wish I knew where we were going. Somewhere exciting I hope!
1:01:52 > 1:01:56- Oh! Dinosaur. - Dinosaur!
1:01:59 > 1:02:01Goodbye, Panda Nose.
1:02:05 > 1:02:08- Where am I?- England, sir. >
1:02:08 > 1:02:12You ARE lost, aren't you, sir?
1:02:12 > 1:02:15Hrrh!
1:02:15 > 1:02:20No, Mrs Thumley, we haven't heard a thing. I understand how worried you must be...
1:02:21 > 1:02:26- Good morning, Miss Prescott!- Here's Sir Geoffrey now.- I got the lot!
1:02:26 > 1:02:33- Every butterfly in the collection. - ..I wanted to call the police...
1:02:33 > 1:02:36You must call the press! Call everyone!
1:02:36 > 1:02:42- What a glorious day! Where's Thumley?- I don't know.
1:02:42 > 1:02:45There's NO-ONE here. No guards. No-one.
1:02:46 > 1:02:52- Particularly no Mr Thumley. - But he's always on time!
1:02:52 > 1:02:55- Ring him up.- I DID. Mrs Thumley doesn't know anything.
1:02:55 > 1:03:00- He didn't come home last night. Would you like to speak to Mrs Thumley?- No.
1:03:00 > 1:03:07I never interfere in a subordinate's personal life. Sly old dog!
1:03:07 > 1:03:09Are the butterflies nice?
1:03:09 > 1:03:13- Are you pleased? - Pleased?! Hardly the word.
1:03:13 > 1:03:16I'm dotty with joy! They are magnificent!
1:03:16 > 1:03:21- They'll explode a bombshell never to be forgot.- Oh, I almost forgot,
1:03:21 > 1:03:27- a Mr Haycock from the British News Association is here.- Splendid!
1:03:27 > 1:03:30Must have got wind about my butterflies!
1:03:32 > 1:03:34- Good morning, sir.- Haycock, sir.
1:03:34 > 1:03:39British News Association. Nothing escapes YOU!
1:03:39 > 1:03:43- I wonder if you could help me, sir. - Yes! Yugoslavian butterflies.
1:03:43 > 1:03:49A case should be here sometime this morning. When I arrived...
1:03:49 > 1:03:52No, sir, it's about a dinosaur.
1:03:52 > 1:03:56A rumour is it's moving about London. Do you know about that?
1:03:56 > 1:04:01Dinosaur? Ridiculous. They've been extinct for YEARS!
1:04:01 > 1:04:04I know. Could it perhaps be a skeleton?
1:04:04 > 1:04:09- Could it be stolen? - Who'd steal that?
1:04:09 > 1:04:14No market for it! How would you pawn a dinosaur skeleton?
1:04:14 > 1:04:16You're not making sense!
1:04:16 > 1:04:21- Sir, it couldn't be one of yours? - Certainly not! Not one of mine.
1:04:21 > 1:04:24I run a tight ship here.
1:04:24 > 1:04:28Could I see your dinosaurs, sir? For some background.
1:04:28 > 1:04:34Of course. And afterwards, we can chat about my butterflies.
1:04:34 > 1:04:39Our Brontosaurus is a fine example. 60 feet from tail-tip to head.
1:04:39 > 1:04:44- Speaking of fine examples, my butterflies...- I really am more interested in dinosaurs.
1:04:47 > 1:04:52Nun zu den Nachrichten aus Grossbritannien.
1:04:52 > 1:04:56..la disparition du Dinausore Britannique.
1:04:56 > 1:05:00BOTH CONTINUE IN GERMAN AND FRENCH
1:05:05 > 1:05:08Home Secretary here.
1:05:08 > 1:05:11Sir Geoffrey, the Cabinet has been discussing
1:05:11 > 1:05:16the disastrous occurrence at your museum. You can imagine how distressed the Prime Minister is.
1:05:16 > 1:05:20- I...- The foreign Press are making Britain a laughing-stock.
1:05:20 > 1:05:25The French Prime Minister has already phoned! Bad jokes in extremely poor taste.
1:05:26 > 1:05:32- I...- How can Britain protect small countries if not a dinosaur?
1:05:32 > 1:05:38- This may be the moment for good news.- W-what good news?
1:05:38 > 1:05:44A-about the collection of Yugoslavian butterflies...
1:05:44 > 1:05:46Good day, sir!
1:06:01 > 1:06:03How much further?
1:06:03 > 1:06:08We have to find a safe place for the dinosaur.
1:06:08 > 1:06:13- We've only five pieces of coal left.- Oh, dear.
1:06:13 > 1:06:17- I hope you'll get it back quickly. - Don't you worry, sir.
1:06:17 > 1:06:24I've pulled fellows like you out of trouble before. Me and my boys are experts.
1:06:24 > 1:06:28Take Sergeant Bromley. The most extraordinary nose in the British Empire.
1:06:28 > 1:06:32You've changed your hair oil.
1:06:32 > 1:06:36Suits you better than that other muck!
1:06:36 > 1:06:40- And Dr Freemo estimates things. - How d'you do?
1:06:40 > 1:06:49Sir Geoffrey Wilkins - 54 years old. All original teeth. Weight: 13 stone one pound, ounce and a half.
1:06:49 > 1:06:54- Blue underpants, probably. Pets... - That's enough, Freemo.
1:06:54 > 1:06:58- Get on the case.- Conversation time -
1:06:58 > 1:07:07- one minute 32 seconds. Purpose - shop talk - of no use.- Scientific Criminology. You can't beat it!
1:07:20 > 1:07:23Perfect place to hide a dinosaur.
1:07:23 > 1:07:27- Except for that! - No-one will come here.
1:07:27 > 1:07:33What are these bits of paper? Possibly a paperchase.
1:07:33 > 1:07:36I think it's coming now!
1:07:36 > 1:07:39Quick. Quickly!
1:07:47 > 1:07:51That's the way, boys. That's the way!
1:07:51 > 1:07:54Run along! You're doing well.
1:07:54 > 1:07:59- I thought they had us that time. - Get up, Emily. We have work to do.
1:08:03 > 1:08:10- The Home Secretary to see you, sir. - Glad you dropped in. We are hard at it.
1:08:10 > 1:08:13Carry on, Grubbs. Just as though I wasn't here.
1:08:13 > 1:08:18Carry on, Sergeant. Never mind about the paint smells.
1:08:18 > 1:08:24In M8, I get four types of soap, running to lavender and lilac,
1:08:24 > 1:08:28characteristic of older women.
1:08:28 > 1:08:31Then, moving on to M9...
1:08:32 > 1:08:36..there's plenty of dust.
1:08:36 > 1:08:41Cigarette ash, tobacco, certainly of North China origin.
1:08:41 > 1:08:45Biscuit crumbs. Threads of cotton fibre from low-cost stockings.
1:08:45 > 1:08:51Four strands of women's hair. Three brown, one bleached.
1:08:51 > 1:08:55Taking it all in all,
1:08:55 > 1:08:58I have reached these conclusions -
1:08:58 > 1:09:02six or more British Nannies
1:09:02 > 1:09:07have conspired with 15 or more Orientals to pilfer the dinosaur.
1:09:07 > 1:09:11Orientals and nannies? But, why?
1:09:11 > 1:09:18- The motive is the subject of my next inquiry.- Excellent!
1:09:18 > 1:09:23I knew I could count on you. Orientals and nannies!
1:09:23 > 1:09:29Mark my words, the roots are deep, Grubbs.
1:09:34 > 1:09:39- To let you know we always have our eye on you. - Decent of you to remind me.
1:09:39 > 1:09:45- Very kind of you to take that chain off for me.- I have decided to change my tactics.
1:09:45 > 1:09:49You do not respond to harsh treatment.
1:09:49 > 1:09:52Well, I appreciate the change.
1:09:52 > 1:09:55Spirits should relax sometime.
1:09:55 > 1:10:00Put aside the strains of our dangerous professions.
1:10:00 > 1:10:03- Let...- Forget invisible ink, fingerprints,
1:10:03 > 1:10:08all the perils of espionage, and just face one another,
1:10:08 > 1:10:12- like two friends.- Cheers.
1:10:12 > 1:10:19Thank you. But I'm not a spy, just an ordinary businessman.
1:10:19 > 1:10:23- Ordinary businessman?- Precisely!
1:10:23 > 1:10:26- Yet you steal Lotus X.- Ah.
1:10:26 > 1:10:32Great Celestial Leader does not like his military secrets stolen.
1:10:32 > 1:10:34He not got very many.
1:10:34 > 1:10:37It make him...peevish.
1:10:37 > 1:10:44Peevish, yes. P-Peevish. I'm afraid I'm not very well up on military secrets.
1:10:44 > 1:10:48And yet you conceal Lotus X on dinosaur.
1:10:48 > 1:10:53And now your nanny have stolen dinosaur.
1:10:53 > 1:10:57Really? Always was an enterprising old girl.
1:10:58 > 1:11:03- Where would she have taken it? - Haven't the foggiest idea, old man.
1:11:03 > 1:11:09- One never knows what they do on their day off. - Put me down. >
1:11:09 > 1:11:14Found young Englishmen wandering around building.
1:11:14 > 1:11:16Ow!
1:11:16 > 1:11:20You shouldn't keep hanging round here. It's dangerous.
1:11:20 > 1:11:24I thought Nanny might be here.
1:11:24 > 1:11:29At the moment, Nanny's legging it round the countryside with a big dinosaur.
1:11:29 > 1:11:32A dinosaur? That's jolly good!
1:11:32 > 1:11:35Wait a moment. WHICH big dinosaur?
1:11:37 > 1:11:41WHICH dinosaur? There is more than one?
1:11:41 > 1:11:48- There's a Brontosaurus and a Diplodocus. They're both dinosaurs.- BOTH dinosaurs.
1:11:48 > 1:11:56Lord Southmere, upon which one of those dinosaurs did you place Lotus X?
1:11:56 > 1:11:59I don't know their names.
1:11:59 > 1:12:02Have I chased the wrong dinosaur?
1:12:06 > 1:12:08It's not here.
1:12:08 > 1:12:13It must be. Didn't Master Edward say, "The nape of the neck?"
1:12:13 > 1:12:16Yes, but he must have been muddled.
1:12:17 > 1:12:19I'm going back to London.
1:12:19 > 1:12:24- We'd ALL like to do that. - No, you guard the dinosaur.
1:12:24 > 1:12:27Susan, collect wood for the boiler.
1:12:27 > 1:12:33I shall speak to Master Edward. His memory must be recovered now.
1:12:33 > 1:12:39You can't walk in and out of that Chinese place like this.
1:12:39 > 1:12:43I got in once. I should manage again.
1:12:43 > 1:12:49- How will you get to London? - Stand by the road looking pathetic.
1:12:49 > 1:12:52Some kind gentleman will help me.
1:12:52 > 1:12:54Come on, boys, come on.
1:12:58 > 1:13:03- < This hall is closed.- So it is. - First the painters,
1:13:03 > 1:13:07then our Brontosaurus got pinched.
1:13:07 > 1:13:10Oh...? Oh, yes, I read something in the paper.
1:13:10 > 1:13:18But you've got the Diplodocus and Pterodactyl. The latter is a prehistoric bird.
1:13:18 > 1:13:23- Brainy nipper!- All right, we'll go and see the spiders.
1:13:23 > 1:13:27Can't we see the dinosaurs, Uncle?
1:13:27 > 1:13:33- My heart bleeds for the poor little fellow.- I know how you feel.
1:13:33 > 1:13:35I've got a couple of nephews too.
1:13:35 > 1:13:42I'll let the lads have a peek. Thank you, sir. I haven't seen you.
1:13:42 > 1:13:45- You can't see me now. - BOTH CHUCKLE
1:13:45 > 1:13:51Go and play with the Pterodactyl. I'll look at the Diplo...docus.
1:13:56 > 1:13:58Diplodocus!
1:14:08 > 1:14:10AHHH!
1:14:12 > 1:14:13(Ah.)
1:14:17 > 1:14:21Thank you, boys. I'm obliged.
1:14:25 > 1:14:28- You learn too quickly. - BOTH: Thank you, Uncle.
1:14:33 > 1:14:36- But where are the boys? - I've no idea, Nanny.
1:14:36 > 1:14:39I gave them their lunch and then they just hopped it.
1:14:39 > 1:14:42- PHONE RINGS - I'll answer that.
1:14:45 > 1:14:50- Hello.- Hettie! I'm cold. - It's you, Emily. Yes.
1:14:50 > 1:14:54I know it must be damp and cold out there in the wood.
1:14:54 > 1:14:59I'm sorry you had to walk so far to the telephone. Emily, I'm being as quick as I can.
1:14:59 > 1:15:02I shall take a taxi to their place.
1:15:02 > 1:15:06- BOTH: Hello, Nanny. - Where have you been all afternoon?
1:15:06 > 1:15:08You've got someone on the phone.
1:15:08 > 1:15:12- I'm aware of that.- We've been to the museum with the Chinese gentleman.
1:15:12 > 1:15:16It's the boys, Emily. I'm waiting for them to...
1:15:16 > 1:15:19What did you say?
1:15:19 > 1:15:22- Nothing, really. Come along. - Stay there.
1:15:22 > 1:15:24- Both of you. - 'How long have we to stay...?'
1:15:24 > 1:15:29Be quiet! Oh, it's you, Susan. What are you doing on the telephone?
1:15:29 > 1:15:33One of you should be watching the...the creature!
1:15:33 > 1:15:36What creature, Nanny? An animal?
1:15:36 > 1:15:41- Or do you mean the dinosaur?- What do you know about the dinosaur?
1:15:41 > 1:15:46Only that it happens to be the wrong dinosaur.
1:15:46 > 1:15:51- 'Hettie...'- Emily, do be quiet. Something important is going on.
1:15:51 > 1:15:54We might have saved you a lot of trouble,
1:15:54 > 1:15:59but you wouldn't trust us. It always had to be this silly nanny business.
1:15:59 > 1:16:03"Clean your teeth, comb your hair, elbows off the table, wipe your feet."
1:16:03 > 1:16:07It's clear to me you've botched everything.
1:16:07 > 1:16:12I will speak to you later about your rudeness.
1:16:12 > 1:16:18In the meantime, what IS this about going to the museum with a Chinese gentleman?
1:16:18 > 1:16:22Just the business to do with the tiny piece of film.
1:16:22 > 1:16:27Truscott and I showed him the right dinosaur.
1:16:27 > 1:16:31Got his property back without any trouble at all.
1:16:31 > 1:16:34There is an easy way to do everything.
1:16:34 > 1:16:38Emily, I've made a dreadful, dreadful mistake.
1:16:40 > 1:16:43We've stolen the wrong dinosaur.
1:16:43 > 1:16:46The Chinese have the Lotus X film.
1:16:46 > 1:16:49Then, it's all over?
1:16:49 > 1:16:52The difficult part has just begun.
1:16:52 > 1:16:59Now they have the film, what will they do with Master Edward? I've got to do something.
1:16:59 > 1:17:02But, Hettie... PHONE GOES DEAD
1:17:03 > 1:17:10I'm not letting that woman get into trouble without me.
1:17:10 > 1:17:13HOOT! HOOT!
1:17:20 > 1:17:23I'm afraid my wood wasn't dry.
1:17:29 > 1:17:31BLOWS WHISTLE
1:17:39 > 1:17:44Great Celestial Leader, we are alone.
1:17:44 > 1:17:49You and I. I have not betrayed your trust.
1:17:49 > 1:17:52Lotus X is found!
1:17:52 > 1:17:58At last I will share your well-kept secret.
1:18:02 > 1:18:08Orders from Celestial Leader Wu Tsai - NO-ONE may see Lotus X.
1:18:08 > 1:18:13- Least of all you, unworthy one. - Unworthy? Where have you been?
1:18:13 > 1:18:16Doing my job. Sending messages to Peking.
1:18:16 > 1:18:21- You send message to Peking without my permission?- Yes.
1:18:21 > 1:18:25- Peking appreciate added information. - Such as?
1:18:25 > 1:18:30I sent telegram saying your brilliant idea for stealing dinosaur
1:18:30 > 1:18:33has ended in disaster.
1:18:33 > 1:18:37How was the news received?
1:18:37 > 1:18:40I am SO sorry.
1:18:41 > 1:18:48- In a yak's eye, you sorry.- I am also new head of London office.
1:18:48 > 1:18:52Explanation, please.
1:18:54 > 1:18:57Thanks for explanation.
1:18:59 > 1:19:03The Reluctant Dragon, Soho. Up you go!
1:19:03 > 1:19:07The Reluctant Dragon in Soho.
1:19:13 > 1:19:19- What are you doing?- We're going with you.- You're going to bed!
1:19:19 > 1:19:24You wouldn't want me to call the police? Might cause a rumpus.
1:19:24 > 1:19:31- Might even turn up in a newspaper.- That's blackmail.
1:19:31 > 1:19:36It is. "Lord Castleberry's nanny pinched a dinosaur from the museum.
1:19:36 > 1:19:40- "Frightful mess!"- You wouldn't dare.
1:19:40 > 1:19:43Might give nannies a bad name. Nothing left to believe in.
1:19:43 > 1:19:47Bring the whole system of nannies crashing down about our ears.
1:19:49 > 1:19:51Get in.
1:20:00 > 1:20:03Ain't my fault it's empty!
1:20:03 > 1:20:06There's the Bank Holiday,
1:20:06 > 1:20:11and they celebrated your birthday by everybody stopping work,
1:20:11 > 1:20:15and leaving town. It's a compliment!
1:20:15 > 1:20:19- Good evening, ladies. - Table for 12.
1:20:19 > 1:20:22I'm sure we can squeeze you in.
1:20:22 > 1:20:25This way, please.
1:20:25 > 1:20:27Table for 12.
1:20:27 > 1:20:33Some people in fancy clothes to celebrate your birthday.
1:20:33 > 1:20:40- Is Mr Hnup here?- Yes, do you wish to see him?- All in good time.
1:20:45 > 1:20:50Amazing the clutter one accumulates over the years. Miniature jade dragon from Soochow.
1:20:50 > 1:20:53Hurry up! I have work to do.
1:20:53 > 1:20:58An autographed picture of Marshal Wu's mother. She liked me.
1:20:58 > 1:21:04- Hello. Ready for another chat? - Mr Hnup is not chatting to anyone.
1:21:04 > 1:21:10He is leaving us under a cloud, probably for Outer Mongolia!
1:21:10 > 1:21:15I'm sorry to hear that. We were beginning to get on well.
1:21:15 > 1:21:19Spurs from my old cavalry school...
1:21:19 > 1:21:24Celestial Leader very angry about Operation Lotus X bungle.
1:21:24 > 1:21:30- If this stupidity should become known, he will lose face.- Quite.
1:21:30 > 1:21:34Therefore, I have been instructed by Peking
1:21:34 > 1:21:39that anyone who could tell of this must be eliminated.
1:21:39 > 1:21:41That's a very sensible...
1:21:42 > 1:21:47- D-don't look at me. - I AM looking at you.
1:21:47 > 1:21:50Take Lord Southmere downstairs.
1:21:50 > 1:21:55I shall deal with this unpleasant business - personally.
1:21:55 > 1:21:57- So sorry.- ..So am I.
1:21:57 > 1:22:02Come along, Master Edward, time you went home. You don't look well.
1:22:02 > 1:22:05After him, you idiots!
1:22:05 > 1:22:09GENERAL SHOUTING AND RUMPUS
1:22:25 > 1:22:30- The dinosaur is heading for Soho. - Come along.
1:22:35 > 1:22:40- I really think I ought to give my nanny a hand.- She seems to be doing rather well on her own.
1:22:43 > 1:22:49Nannies don't like to be interfered with. "Nanny knows best." Ring a bell?
1:22:49 > 1:22:52Sound thinking, old boy.
1:22:54 > 1:22:57One point to me.
1:22:58 > 1:23:02You lose two points. You hit a nanny.
1:23:13 > 1:23:15Hah!
1:23:26 > 1:23:28Your friend Quon seems put out.
1:23:28 > 1:23:33Bit of bad luck. First day on new job and everything go up in smoke.
1:23:33 > 1:23:39- This plum wine is from Chefu. Amusing little vintage.- Nice.
1:23:52 > 1:23:54The English DO have fun!
1:23:58 > 1:24:00Go get 'im!
1:24:07 > 1:24:09Aaaah!
1:24:11 > 1:24:14I SHOULD give a hand.
1:24:14 > 1:24:18If you come in on your side, I'd have to come in on mine.
1:24:21 > 1:24:24Lock them up!
1:24:27 > 1:24:31I wish they'd look where they're going.
1:24:31 > 1:24:33Get up and fight!
1:24:34 > 1:24:36Cowards!
1:24:36 > 1:24:39He's the leader. That's five.
1:24:42 > 1:24:44Oh, dear!
1:24:47 > 1:24:49Argh!
1:24:49 > 1:24:52THEY LAUGH
1:24:53 > 1:24:56Don't you dare laugh at me,
1:24:56 > 1:24:58miserable females!
1:25:00 > 1:25:02LAUGHTER STOPS
1:25:09 > 1:25:12Jolly good shot!
1:25:12 > 1:25:15I never knew she had it in her!
1:25:15 > 1:25:17(Look out, Quon.)
1:25:17 > 1:25:18CRASH!
1:25:18 > 1:25:22A touch of laryngitis.
1:25:22 > 1:25:26My voice give out at odd... moments.
1:25:26 > 1:25:29BELL RINGING What's that?
1:25:29 > 1:25:32It's the police!
1:25:32 > 1:25:37Can't stop now! Why not? Our brakes have gone!
1:25:45 > 1:25:51That's real nice of them. Happy birthday, Linda Sue.
1:25:54 > 1:25:57The Home Secretary, sir.
1:25:57 > 1:26:01Sorry to ring you at home, sir, but I thought you'd want the news.
1:26:01 > 1:26:04I have recovered the stolen object,
1:26:04 > 1:26:10and we may consider the case of the missing dinosaur closed.
1:26:10 > 1:26:13Don't thank me. Just doing my duty.
1:26:15 > 1:26:19Both in the same hand.
1:26:19 > 1:26:24Jolly good show, Nanny. I'm almost sorry I was so beastly. Me, too.
1:26:24 > 1:26:29It came out all right in the end. Things usually do.
1:26:33 > 1:26:36Ah, Nanny, now we're all here.
1:26:36 > 1:26:38Where's that nice Mr Quon?
1:26:38 > 1:26:41Resting comfortable, perhaps for the last time.
1:26:41 > 1:26:46Owing to his stupidity, London police now has Lotus X.
1:26:46 > 1:26:52They were kind enough to hand it to me - the rightful owner.
1:26:52 > 1:26:58I'll show you the secret of Lotus X.
1:26:58 > 1:27:03Take three measures of ripe green pea pods,
1:27:03 > 1:27:06add one cup of juice from medium-sized pressed duck.
1:27:06 > 1:27:10- Then you... This must still be in code.- No, no, it's a list of...
1:27:10 > 1:27:14- This reads like recipe for Won Ton soup.- Of course. That's what it is.
1:27:14 > 1:27:16Lotus X is a recipe for Won Ton soup.
1:27:16 > 1:27:22- I kept saying I was not a spy, just an ordinary businessman. - Ordinary businessman?
1:27:22 > 1:27:27Actually, I'm Southmere's Soups and Savouries.
1:27:27 > 1:27:30- Very nutritious too.- Thank you.
1:27:30 > 1:27:33What were you doing in China?
1:27:33 > 1:27:37Trying to track down new taste thrills.
1:27:37 > 1:27:42I wanted to buy this fabulous new soup. Then I ran into a brick wall.
1:27:42 > 1:27:46Marshal Wu Tsai himself.
1:27:46 > 1:27:52- It was his mother's recipe. - Celestial Mother, she liked me.
1:27:52 > 1:27:58Been a treasured family secret for generations. When I pinched it, they were after me.
1:28:00 > 1:28:02So, there you are, then.
1:28:02 > 1:28:11That's the story of how the whole world came to know the magic of Won Ton Soup.
1:28:15 > 1:28:21A popular success from the start thanks to our Marketing Director,
1:28:21 > 1:28:26a man who I had some little trouble with,
1:28:26 > 1:28:31but whom finally found his true niche in life.
1:28:31 > 1:28:35Hi-y-all.
1:28:35 > 1:28:38Treat yourself to the best.
1:28:38 > 1:28:43Next time you're in your favourite neighbourhood supermarket,
1:28:43 > 1:28:47don't forget to ask for your favourite and mine,
1:28:47 > 1:28:51Madame Wu Tsai's...
1:28:51 > 1:28:54real chop-watering...
1:28:54 > 1:28:58down-home Won Ton Soup. Yeah!
1:28:58 > 1:29:00Hrrh!