0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:03 > 0:00:05Have you two been to Venice?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07- Um, yeah, I've been.- Oh, wow!
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Is it nice or is it a bit touristy?
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Uh-uh, not so. It's lovely. Yeah. What, you thinking of going?
0:00:13 > 0:00:19Well, we've been going out for three years next month, so we were thinking...
0:00:19 > 0:00:20Yeah, nothing, nothing definite.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25Yeah, it's a really romantic city.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Oh, it looks amazing.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30- Probably the most romantic city in the world, actually.- Is it?- Hmm.
0:00:30 > 0:00:35Kind of city that you might want to ask a certain question.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37Do you want some more wine?
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- No.- Oh.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Oh, come on. If you got engaged next month...
0:00:42 > 0:00:44a summer wedding.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49I wasn't actually planning to ask any questions, but...
0:00:49 > 0:00:55- OK. - I could always ask him, of course.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57That's got to be a leap year. He has to propose to you.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Hasn't it got to be, or is it the other way round?
0:00:59 > 0:01:01How does that work? Is it a leap year?
0:01:01 > 0:01:04God, you can really see the panic in his eyes.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06There's no panic in my eyes...at all.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40BLEEP 'David, it's ten past ten. Where the fuck are you?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43'I've got your ten o'clock waiting here for you!
0:03:43 > 0:03:46'Hold on. That's probably you now.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49'If it's not, get on the phone.' BLEEP
0:03:49 > 0:03:57'Hi, David. It's me. I'm just reminding you to bring the salad bowl and, er, what else...?
0:03:57 > 0:03:59'Yes, that's it, the salad bowl.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03'I'm here now, so come over any time after six. All right, darling.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05'Can't wait to see you. Bye.'
0:04:05 > 0:04:08BLEEP 'Hello, you.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13'I know I'm not supposed to call you at home, but I've been trying your mobile and I couldn't get through.
0:04:15 > 0:04:22'So I'm not going to tell you who this is, but call me when you get this message. Bye.'
0:04:22 > 0:04:24RAPID BLEEPING
0:04:24 > 0:04:25CLICK
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Huh!
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Isn't that romantic?
0:04:40 > 0:04:41They're not lovers.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44What are they?
0:04:44 > 0:04:45They're cousins.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48They're definitely not cousins, Nina.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Maybe you're right,
0:04:51 > 0:04:53but I bet he's a one-snail snail though.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56I wouldn't be so sure.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59I bet he hasn't got a girlfriend he's cheating on behind her back,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02or shell.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06I bet he's working his way over this hill sliding onto every foxy snail he comes across.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09He's not sordid like some people.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Let's ask him.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Don't pick him up.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17He just wants to meet you.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Get him away from me. Get him away from me!
0:05:21 > 0:05:24He's got a beard.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- He's lovely. Say hello. - He's disgusting.- He's lovely.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Please put him down. Put him down! SHE GIGGLES
0:05:30 > 0:05:32OK. All right.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Thank you.
0:05:39 > 0:05:40You know,
0:05:42 > 0:05:45I really, really like you.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Yeah?
0:05:48 > 0:05:53If you don't touch me with that hand, anyway.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57- What, this one?- Don't. Don't!!- What?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Hey!
0:06:03 > 0:06:06HISSING
0:06:11 > 0:06:15- Hey.- Hi.- How you doing?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yeah, I'm all right. How are you?
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I think I'm in love with Nina.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- No, you're not.- I think I am.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27- I think I am. I really am. - Well, I think it's pretty unlikely.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- I mean, you've only known her a couple of minutes.- Well...
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Yeah, that's true, but...
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I think it's unlikely.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40I don't think you know what it's like, to be honest.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- What?- You don't know what it's like to be...in love like this.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46- I've been in love.- Not like this.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48HE SIGHS
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I just think you're much better off with Lisa.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Yeah, you know, Lisa is great. No, she is.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56She's absolutely great, but she's...
0:06:56 > 0:07:00I don't know. She doesn't get me like Nina does.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02She must get you. She's always agreeing with you.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Well, I don't want someone who's always agreeing with me.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09I just think you're being a bit stupid.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Think about what you're already got with Lisa.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Mm. Yeah, maybe.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22You chose to bring the dog in.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24No, but he asked us to...
0:07:24 > 0:07:27They want the dog! They want the dog!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29We like the dog. We love the dog.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30We're very dog-friendly here.
0:07:30 > 0:07:39This photo is going to hang on your family walls for 150 years, so we want to see the big grin.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Yes! Oh, that could be it. That could be the one.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45You are the Brentford football team, aren't you? Yeah?
0:07:47 > 0:07:51So have you managed to sort that thing with those two girls you were seeing?
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Ah, I don't know what I'm doing.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57I feel really guilty about it. Every time I'm with Lisa, I feel terrible.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02- Yeah?- Yeah.- Cos I'm in the same position, as it happens.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I'm doing two at the same time.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06What, are you back on that swinging website?
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Yep. Trouble is,
0:08:08 > 0:08:11each of them's giving me earache about the other.
0:08:11 > 0:08:13They know about each other?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17- Yep.- I thought the whole point about swingers was they don't get jealous?
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Yeah, but they're women.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Yeah. Not all women are the same.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Well, they are in my experience.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25You need to be a little bit more trusting.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Oh, I see. I mean, like your girlfriend is with you?
0:08:28 > 0:08:30- Yeah, that's different. - Course it is.- Yeah, it is.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- I believe you.- You missed a bit.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Why don't we have a dinner party, get them round?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40- Really? - Invite the four of them, me and you.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Car keys in the middle?- Yeah.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51They won't go back with you though, once they've been with me.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Sorry.- That's all right.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01I couldn't get away and...
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Blah, blah-de-blah.- That's fine. - I, erm...
0:09:04 > 0:09:06I had to collect something.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10- What's that?- Open it.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19We're leaving on Thursday night and coming back on Tuesday.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- You shouldn't have.- I know.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28You can't afford this.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Oh, don't worry about the money. I've taken care of it.
0:09:31 > 0:09:32Lisa, you can't.
0:09:32 > 0:09:38No, I can. The hotel, it's meant to be really, really lovely.
0:09:38 > 0:09:43It's 1930s. It's all decked out with Venetian mirrors and...
0:09:45 > 0:09:48It's really expensive.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51I thought I'd treat us.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54David, it was meant to cheer you up.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56I kn... No, you're right. I mean...
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- Thank you. - There's nothing you can do about it, it's all booked.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02All right. I...
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- You know.- What?!
0:10:04 > 0:10:07You're lovely.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15You're lovely.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Yeah, I know, but...
0:10:17 > 0:10:20- You're lovelier.- Oh.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Shall we go and look at guidebooks? - Yeah.- Ooh!
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Hello.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31I just thought I'd come in on the off chance.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33I don't think it's in till next week.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35It's a vest for Lisa.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Hello?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13'Do you know who this is?'
0:11:13 > 0:11:15Yeah, I know who this is.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17'Thought you'd forgotten who I was.'
0:11:17 > 0:11:19No, I think about you a lot.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23I really do. I think about you all the time.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25I think about YOU sometimes.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Only sometimes?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30'I sort of miss you, I suppose.'
0:11:30 > 0:11:33- I was going to give you a call. - 'But you didn't.'
0:11:33 > 0:11:38I know. I'm really sorry, but I really was going to.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40'I'm just getting a bit tired of always waiting around.'
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Don't, Nina. Don't be like that. I... You just need to bear with me for a little bit longer.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46'Bear with you for what?'
0:11:46 > 0:11:49For me and Lisa.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51'I don't bear with anyone.'
0:11:51 > 0:11:53It's about finding the right time and...
0:11:53 > 0:11:54'And what?'
0:11:54 > 0:11:57- Don't be like that. - 'You're making me like that.'
0:11:58 > 0:12:01I'm sorry. I'll...
0:12:01 > 0:12:05- I'll give you a call tomorrow. - 'Oh, I'm really busy tomorrow.'
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Well, I'll call you anyway.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09- 'Whatever.'- OK.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53David, I'm in here.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Hi. God, you look terrible.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05- Are you OK?- Yeah.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08You don't look good.
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Lisa, I don't think I can see you any more.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11What?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- I've met someone else. - What do you mean?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16I'm really sorry.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I can't take this in.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Who? - Just someone. You don't know her.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26How long have you been seeing her?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30- I've only seen her a few times. - How many times?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I don't know, seven or eight.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34Seven or eight times?
0:13:34 > 0:13:35How can you look me in the face?
0:13:39 > 0:13:42God, I can't... I can't believe this.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44I know. I'm really sorry.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I thought I could trust you.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50I just think...
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- maybe things weren't right between us.- Why didn't you say anything?
0:13:53 > 0:13:57I... Well, maybe I didn't know there was...
0:13:57 > 0:13:58I don't know.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Don't you love me any more?
0:14:00 > 0:14:02It's...
0:14:02 > 0:14:04It's just changed.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09You said we'd be together forever.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- I never said that.- You did.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13- When?- About a month after we started going out
0:14:13 > 0:14:16you said you wanted to spend your 50th birthday with me in the Caribbean.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Well, if I said it, I meant it, but...
0:14:19 > 0:14:22things change.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23You don't love me?
0:14:27 > 0:14:30I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't... You know, things happen.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35I think you're a fucking liar.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39I don't think you give a shit about me.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44I'm sorry. I think I should go now.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46- Are you going to see her now?- No.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54- David?- Yeah?
0:14:54 > 0:14:58What about...everything we had together?
0:14:59 > 0:15:00I'm sorry.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03How can you end it?
0:15:03 > 0:15:06I'm sorry.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08David, I love you.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- Please don't go.- I can't...
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Please!
0:15:20 > 0:15:23Oh, just fucking get out then!
0:15:27 > 0:15:29SHE SOBS
0:15:39 > 0:15:41What do you mean, you've met someone else?
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- Who is it?- Just someone from work.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48I don't believe this.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52I don't believe this!
0:15:52 > 0:15:54I thought you really liked me.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56- I do.- Then why are you doing this?
0:15:56 > 0:16:01I don't know. Maybe I don't want to be pinned down. I don't know.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04You don't want to be pinned down?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06But you want to go out with this other guy?
0:16:06 > 0:16:08I'm not going out with him.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09He's married.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14I just don't believe this. I left Lisa to be with you
0:16:14 > 0:16:18and now you're fucking off with some other guy and he's married.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20I never asked you to leave her.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- I thought we had something.- Yeah.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- So what happened?- Nothing happened.
0:16:25 > 0:16:26Right.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30You are taking this seriously, aren't you?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33I'm taking it seriously because I think it's important.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37It's important for me to do what feels right.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Well, is it, is it?
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Yes!
0:16:42 > 0:16:46I'm obviously really annoying you right now, so I'm gonna go.
0:16:46 > 0:16:52Well, I'm annoyed because I left someone to be with you and now you don't want to be with me.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56- I'm sorry if I made you do the wrong thing.- I didn't do the wrong thing.
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Well, then,
0:16:58 > 0:16:59it's all right then, isn't it?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Bye.
0:17:51 > 0:17:56You think you know someone, you think you really get them and then you realise you know nothing.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59I can't believe I totally misread everything.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01You've no chance of getting back with Lisa?
0:18:01 > 0:18:03No, it wasn't right with Lisa.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06The fact I fell in love with Nina I think's not a good sign.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- So that's all over?- Yeah, well, you know, what am I supposed to do?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13I don't know.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Well, I've just got to move on. It won't be that bad being single.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Yeah, it will.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22Right. First, I don't think we should be standing over here with all those men.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25I think we should be over there.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28Are you sure you want to dive straight back in then?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31Yeah, yeah. Well, what choice have I got? What about those two?
0:18:31 > 0:18:33- No.- What's wrong with them?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- They look...scary.- No, they don't.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Come on.- No, I don't want to.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Come ON!
0:18:41 > 0:18:43BOTH: One more time.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45One more time...
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Hello.
0:18:48 > 0:18:49Hello.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54Erm, er... My name's David. This is Matt.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Hi.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59- I'm Marta and this is Juliet.- Hello.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Hi.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03So what do you do?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06I'm a solicitor.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08My boyfriend's a solicitor.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12- Oh, is he?- And I'm a photographer.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- What sort?- Portraits.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18- I do portrait photography. - Mm. Who have you photographed?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Oh, well, er...
0:19:20 > 0:19:28Now then, this week we had Bar Mitzvah boy David Burnham, who was tremendous, and I do babies.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31I've been known to do dogs and cats.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32I once did a pony.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34- A few weddings.- Um-hm.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- I've got a wedding next week.- Um. - Um...
0:19:37 > 0:19:41But you know, all glamorous...
0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Would you excuse us?- Yes. - Have a nice evening.- OK.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Well, that was pretty humiliating.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Yeah, I know.- Oh, well.- That's why I'm joining a dating agency.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- You're not.- I am.- Why?
0:20:00 > 0:20:04Because I've been single for two years and I just want to meet someone.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Yeah, but...
0:20:05 > 0:20:08why do you need to join a dating agency for that?
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Cos I'm sick of all the chasing around and I just want to meet someone good.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15And I want to have kids.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17- Do you?- Yeah.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- I didn't know that.- Well.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22How long have you felt like that?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- I don't know. About six months.- Yeah?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Yeah.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Ah. That I didn't know.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Well, now you do.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45- Are they beautiful?- Yes, they are.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Shall I go and talk to them?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Do you know, that's not a bad idea.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- Why don't we?- Do you want to?
0:20:55 > 0:20:59- Yeah.- You just go over and say your names and...
0:20:59 > 0:21:02And ask them what their names are.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06- You're off.- Christopher, keep hold of Charlie's hand.
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Good luck, guys.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13So how long were you cheating on Lisa for?
0:21:13 > 0:21:17I was awful at it. It was terrible. I was rubbish.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20It was awful and you felt terrible. What do you expect?
0:21:20 > 0:21:25- Don't know.- Lisa was gorgeous. - Right.- She really loved you too.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29- That's really helpful. Thanks. - You're mad.- Brilliant. Well, that's solved that.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34I don't know. It just wasn't right. It wasn't right and...
0:21:36 > 0:21:39If it was, we'd be together. That's how it goes.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43If it's not right, it's not right? What, end of story?
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Well, yeah. For some reason that I
0:21:46 > 0:21:51can't put my finger on, it didn't work, so it didn't work.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Relationships aren't that straightforward.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59- Yes, they are.- No, they're not. You're living in La-La land.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04Relationships aren't about spark and excitement all the time and passion and...
0:22:04 > 0:22:07No spark and excitement?
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- Not all the time. - And passion.- Occasionally.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13No, relationships are about moments.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- Hello.- Hello.- Are you two brothers?
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Yes, he's my little brother.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26- He's a bit shy.- Oh! Don't be shy.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Do you want to come and sit with us?
0:22:29 > 0:22:30Yeah?
0:22:30 > 0:22:33Come on over then.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Right, where were we?
0:22:36 > 0:22:40- Talking about your favourite subject, you.- Right.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44Well, let's talk about you, cos I'm obviously rubbish at relationships.
0:22:44 > 0:22:50Jane and you. Did you know straightaway that she was the one?
0:22:50 > 0:22:52- Yes, I did.- Really?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- Yeah.- Not quite how I remember it.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59I thought, from how I remember it, she gave you an ultimatum.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03No, she didn't give me an ultimatum.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04She made me see
0:23:04 > 0:23:08I couldn't go through life pleasing myself with no responsibilities.
0:23:08 > 0:23:13- Sometimes you have to compromise. - It's hardly Love Story, is it?
0:23:13 > 0:23:16Life isn't Love Story. Is that what you expect?
0:23:16 > 0:23:20No. It's just I keep hearing words like "responsibility", and "compromise".
0:23:20 > 0:23:27- What's wrong with those words?- Well, you may as well say, "I was forced at gunpoint to go out with her."
0:23:28 > 0:23:31Why are you so afraid of growing up?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Hold on a sec. I'll be right back.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43What's your name?
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Bianca.
0:23:46 > 0:23:49- Banker?!- Bianca.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50Why?
0:23:50 > 0:23:55Cos that's the name my mummy and daddy thought I should be called.
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- Hello.- Hey.- They're not getting in your way, are they?
0:23:59 > 0:24:03- No. You're not getting in our way are you, Christopher?- Nope.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Good.
0:24:05 > 0:24:10- Are you sitting over there?- Yeah. - We'll bring them over when we go.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13OK.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Are you using my kids to pick up women?
0:24:21 > 0:24:26- I am using your kids to pick up women, yes.- How sleazy is that?
0:24:26 > 0:24:33- If you'd introduce me to some women, or a woman, then I wouldn't need to use your kids.- I don't know anyone.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36You must know someone.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40No, I really don't actually. All the good ones are gone.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Jane know anyone? - Not really, no.- No?
0:24:44 > 0:24:48I don't think you're trying hard enough.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Think. Try harder. There must be somebody.
0:24:53 > 0:24:59Jane's having a party for some students, the yoga students. I'll see if you can come along.
0:24:59 > 0:25:05- I don't know any women, but Jane's having a party for yoga students! - I'll have a chat with her.- Thanks.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09- Eh, how did you get on? - Having a good time?- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:25:09 > 0:25:12Just bringing Christopher and Charlie back.
0:25:12 > 0:25:18I want you to do whatever your mummy tells you to do tonight. Will you?
0:25:18 > 0:25:22- Yes.- And how about a goodbye kiss?
0:25:22 > 0:25:25No? OK. Well, will you shake my hand then?
0:25:27 > 0:25:28And you, Charlie?
0:25:30 > 0:25:36- Bye-bye. Thanks.- Bye. - Did you get her phone number?- No!
0:25:50 > 0:25:52< DOORBELL
0:26:01 > 0:26:06- Hi.- Hi. I've brought your things and some keys.- Right.
0:26:06 > 0:26:11- I'll just get mine. So she's not here then?- Who?
0:26:11 > 0:26:14- That girl. - It didn't really work out.
0:26:14 > 0:26:15Why?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20- Ooh...- I've, er...
0:26:20 > 0:26:24- I've made lunch for you. - Oh, no, thanks.- It's all ready.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27I'm all right, thanks.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38- I bought this as a present for you. - I don't really like it.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40No?
0:26:40 > 0:26:43- I thought you did.- No.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46- You never said. - I never liked Jethro Tull.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49You don't like the Tull?
0:26:49 > 0:26:55- Why did we go to their gig? - Oh, I thought it might be fun to see all the hippies.
0:26:55 > 0:27:01Yeah. The guy with the wizard's hat. Remember that little bloke who followed you around?
0:27:01 > 0:27:07Yeah, I do now. I often wonder what it would have been like if I got his magic bus to Avebury.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Probably would've ended up in Avebury. Yeah.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14- Would've had to get the train back. - Yeah.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17You sure you don't want some food?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19No. No, thanks.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25- It's not easy all this.- Actually, I feel really positive about it.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31I'd forgotten how exciting it is being single again.
0:27:31 > 0:27:38Also you owe £460 for Venice. I couldn't cancel the tickets and I can't go on my own.
0:27:39 > 0:27:43All right. Not sure I can give you the money straightaway.
0:27:43 > 0:27:48- I'm waiting for a cheque.- I need it this week or I'll be overdrawn. - Right.
0:27:48 > 0:27:53- See you then.- Yep. Really nice to see you.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38- Hey, Nina.- 'Hi.'- How are you?
0:28:38 > 0:28:39OK.
0:28:39 > 0:28:44Um, I was just ringing to see whether everything was
0:28:44 > 0:28:48still going well with that schmuck you were seeing.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51He is a schmuck. He keeps cancelling me.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54- Does he?- Yeah.
0:28:54 > 0:28:59He's making it up to me tonight. He's got a house in Epping Forest we're going to.
0:28:59 > 0:29:04And he's written me a song he's going to sing, so he's not all bad.
0:29:04 > 0:29:08- Well, I hope it's a good song. - He's an amazing songwriter.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12- Is he?- Yeah.- Yeah. Well, I'm just going to get on with stuff.
0:29:12 > 0:29:16- I just wanted to ring and see how you were.- Bye then.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19OK. I'll see you round. Bye.
0:29:23 > 0:29:28- Lovely. So how long have you two been married?- 75 years.
0:29:28 > 0:29:32- 75 years. That's amazing. - Not for me.
0:29:32 > 0:29:37- What's the secret of your success? - He keeps out of my way.
0:29:37 > 0:29:42Do you know, nobody would believe the offers I've had.
0:29:42 > 0:29:46- I could have married anybody. - Anybody you want.
0:29:46 > 0:29:51- I married him, not out of love. - I was the only fool.- Be quiet!
0:29:51 > 0:29:54Remember that miserable little ring you gave me?
0:29:54 > 0:29:59- Do you want... - I remember what I did with it. - I remember what you did with it.
0:29:59 > 0:30:05- When my parents saw it, they were so embarrassed.- All right, that's it. That's it.
0:30:05 > 0:30:09- Yes, I know. - This is the one now. Beautiful.
0:30:09 > 0:30:11Look at me. Look at me here.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15- Look at the camera... - I'm looking at him. Mind your own business!
0:30:15 > 0:30:17- It- is- my business.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Oh, well, what can I do with her?
0:30:22 > 0:30:25These anniversary couples, they're all so miserable.
0:30:25 > 0:30:2875 years. They won't be kissing and canoodling, will they?
0:30:28 > 0:30:33- Every couple we get seems miserable. - There's a reason for that.- What?
0:30:33 > 0:30:36In my experience, most marriages are miserable.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39They can't all be miserable.
0:30:39 > 0:30:45All the wives are sick to death of their husbands. They're just too scared to get out of it.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49Luckily, they've got you and your special skills.
0:30:49 > 0:30:53I know what you're saying! I am the fourth emergency service, mate.
0:30:53 > 0:30:57- You should apply for charitable status.- I should do really.
0:30:59 > 0:31:03Ah, I'm putting meself about a bit at the moment.
0:31:04 > 0:31:08- I'll go and butter up. - All right, mate.
0:31:19 > 0:31:25- Sorry to keep you waiting. We're having a few problems with the printer.- That's fine.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28- Thank you. - Anybody you don't like, don't worry.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32I'll go away and have another look for you.
0:31:32 > 0:31:33Thank you.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39"In another life I'd have been Marilyn Monroe."
0:31:39 > 0:31:44Well, unfortunately, babe, in this life you look like Marilyn Manson.
0:31:44 > 0:31:45Just hang on.
0:31:45 > 0:31:51- Look at her. Good God!- She's all right.- She looks as though she's got a small child on each cheek.
0:31:52 > 0:31:56She looks like a right OD merchant, doesn't she?
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Right.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Ooh.
0:32:01 > 0:32:06"I like any kind of music." I like a woman who doesn't discriminate about anything.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10- She's got one album - The Best Of Music.- The Best Of Music.
0:32:10 > 0:32:17- "If I knew the world would end tomorrow, I'd lie in bed and sleep the day away." Next!- Ambitious.
0:32:17 > 0:32:18Oh, my God!
0:32:21 > 0:32:22Oh, my God!
0:32:28 > 0:32:30God, I feel really...
0:32:30 > 0:32:32- What?- Don't know.
0:32:34 > 0:32:39Don't like the idea of a load of saddos pawing over her photo.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42- Thank you very much. - You know what I mean.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45- It's a lovely picture. - Don't look at her picture, OK?
0:32:46 > 0:32:50I think she's very sensible getting straight back out there anyway.
0:32:50 > 0:32:55In another life I would have been 1920s flying ace Amy Johnson.
0:32:55 > 0:33:01"My idea of a perfect day would be drinking Guinness in a Galway pub with someone special
0:33:01 > 0:33:05"while it rained outside". News to me.
0:33:07 > 0:33:08This girl's OK.
0:33:12 > 0:33:14Mm. She's a definite maybe.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17What do you think?
0:33:17 > 0:33:19Mm? Hm.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22Well, she's cute.
0:33:22 > 0:33:24Likes football.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38DOORBELL RINGS
0:33:41 > 0:33:43- Hi.- Hi.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46- I bought you a coffee. - Oh, you want to come in?
0:33:46 > 0:33:49- Is that OK?- Yep.
0:33:52 > 0:33:55Oh, here's a cheque for Venice.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57Oh, thank you.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59I'd wait a few days before paying it in.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01- Oh, OK.- Yeah.
0:34:04 > 0:34:06So how you doing?
0:34:06 > 0:34:09Things are really good. How are you?
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14- Good.- I, um...
0:34:14 > 0:34:18I went with Matt to the, um, the Tatum Dating Agency.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21- Saw you'd signed on there.- Oh, yeah.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23You were one of Matt's selections.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26- Really?- Yeah.
0:34:26 > 0:34:27That IS funny.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32So what was all that like then?
0:34:32 > 0:34:34Mm, a bit mad.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36- Was it?- Fun, but mad.
0:34:36 > 0:34:40- Some of your answers were quite interesting.- They're edited to make them appealing.
0:34:40 > 0:34:45I'd no idea about your ideal date in a Galway pub. Didn't know you'd ever been there.
0:34:45 > 0:34:50- It was where you dream of going, not where you've already been. - You should have said.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53- We could have gone. - Oh, it doesn't matter, does it?
0:34:55 > 0:34:59- Had a great photo. - They said the smiley ones were best.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01Right.
0:35:05 > 0:35:07Don't need to join a dating agency.
0:35:07 > 0:35:10- I wish I hadn't! - It's not really you, is it?
0:35:10 > 0:35:12Well, it was a waste of money.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14Right. You didn't meet anyone then?
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Oh, no...not there.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23You met someone else.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25- Guess so.- Right.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Er, anyway...
0:35:30 > 0:35:32Um...
0:35:32 > 0:35:35- Oh, yeah.- There you go.- Oops, sorry.
0:35:35 > 0:35:38Sorry. Um, thanks for the coffee.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40Yeah.
0:35:40 > 0:35:43- I'd better be get... - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.- Just...
0:35:43 > 0:35:46No, no, of course. All right.
0:35:46 > 0:35:47Bye then.
0:36:30 > 0:36:31What can I get you?
0:36:31 > 0:36:34Oh, a bottle of Kronenberg please.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36- And you?- Just the same.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38- And a couple of tequilas.- Yes.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41Thanks. I think I'm going to get pissed tonight.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43I don't think I'll bother with this party.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45You what? Why?
0:36:45 > 0:36:51- I don't fancy a rubbish party, which I know for a fact's going to be rubbish.- It might be all right.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55- It's Jane's. It's going to be crap. - So we won't be disappointed.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58- How?- No, you're coming with me to the party.
0:36:58 > 0:37:02- No, I really, really don't fancy it, David.- I can't go on my own, Matt.
0:37:02 > 0:37:05Well, you won't be on your own when you get there.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07- Michael will be there. - Please come with me.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09- You'll be fine.- Please.- No.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11- Please.- No.- Please.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14- No.- Please.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17- No.- OK, don't come with me.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20- Fine, fine.- OK. You're not allowed to come with me.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23I don't want to come.
0:37:23 > 0:37:24OK. OK, then come.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Please.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28No.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42Oh, dear.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48Hey. How you doing?
0:37:48 > 0:37:53I'm fine thanks. Listen, I'll leave you guys to it.
0:37:53 > 0:37:58- Something I said? - She wasn't very happy about you coming.- Why?
0:37:58 > 0:38:02- Just a bit sensitive. - What does she think I'm going to do?
0:38:02 > 0:38:06- Just behave yourself, yeah? - Honestly...- I'll get that.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11I think we need to get a drink.
0:38:11 > 0:38:12Oh, yeah.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19Fancy some champagne?
0:38:19 > 0:38:23Oh, yes. Um, thank you.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25So who do you know here?
0:38:25 > 0:38:27Er, Michael.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30- Jane's partner. - Oh, yeah. How do you know him?
0:38:30 > 0:38:35He's a client of mine. I run an agency for female impersonators.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38He's great. Thanks very much.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40I beg your pardon?
0:38:48 > 0:38:55- Hi.- Hiya. So what would you do if you knew the world would end tomorrow?
0:38:55 > 0:38:57Why, do you know something I don't?
0:38:57 > 0:38:59No.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03- I don't think I'd do anything differently.- Why?
0:39:03 > 0:39:05- I quite like my life as it is.- Yeah?
0:39:05 > 0:39:07Hmmm.
0:39:07 > 0:39:11Everyone would be up in hot-air balloons looking at sunsets.
0:39:11 > 0:39:12That would be missing the point.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15- Oh.- Why, what would you do?
0:39:15 > 0:39:19Oh, I'd be up in a hot-air balloon looking at the sunset.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23No, I suppose I'd probably prefer a drunken night of sexual passion.
0:39:23 > 0:39:28- Yeah?- Hmm. Although I'd have to find - someone to do it with first.- Oh.
0:39:28 > 0:39:31- Sounds like you'd better stick - to the hot-air balloon then.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33Yeah.
0:39:37 > 0:39:41I'm just going to see what's happened to my friend.
0:39:48 > 0:39:49OK.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Ooh, no. What's that you're eating?
0:40:00 > 0:40:03- Snails.- Snails. Oh, are they nice? - Have you never tried them?
0:40:03 > 0:40:07No, I haven't. What are they like?
0:40:07 > 0:40:11Sort of chewy mussels.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14- Why don't you try one? - Ah, I'm not so sure.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17They're very good for you. They've got loads of zinc.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19Oh, is that good?
0:40:19 > 0:40:22Um-hm. It's good for your immune system and your sex drive.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24OK.
0:40:30 > 0:40:35- How was it?- Great. - Do you fancy another?- No, thanks.
0:40:35 > 0:40:36Sure?
0:40:36 > 0:40:38Yeah.
0:40:40 > 0:40:43I'm David by the way.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Stephanie.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Hi.
0:40:47 > 0:40:49Can I call you Stephanie?
0:40:49 > 0:40:53- Yes.- Cos that's your name.- Yes.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02You're a Reiki healer? Wow!
0:41:02 > 0:41:04Yeah, do you know about Reiki?
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Not really.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Well, it's to do with energies in the body
0:41:08 > 0:41:12and you can basically heal people through harnessing these energies.
0:41:12 > 0:41:19- Right.- For example, if I was to try it on you, I'd put my hands in a particular place and you'd
0:41:19 > 0:41:26be able to feel this really powerful energy moving through your body and I'd be able to feel it in my hands.
0:41:26 > 0:41:30And it's about locking into that energy and moving
0:41:30 > 0:41:35the bad energy out of the body and then warming the good energy.
0:41:35 > 0:41:40It's kind of hard to explain. I'd have to demonstrate on you.
0:41:40 > 0:41:41Right.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48Still worried about the end of the world?
0:41:48 > 0:41:51Yeah, just practising drinking meself into oblivion.
0:41:53 > 0:41:57- Can I get you something?- Hmm?
0:41:57 > 0:41:59No, don't like whisky.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01Gin or there's vodka.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03Vodka? Yeah.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06OK. Promise to look after me if I go a bit...
0:42:06 > 0:42:08Yeah, OK.
0:42:08 > 0:42:09You just say when.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17- That's great.- Want a mixer with it?
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Just straight. Thank you.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22What are you having?
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Cheers.
0:42:43 > 0:42:48- Shall we go back in there and...? - Let's have another one first.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01What's he doing with Stephanie?
0:43:01 > 0:43:08- I don't know.- Don't want him doing anything with my sister. Will you do something about it, please?
0:43:08 > 0:43:09- OK.- I mean it.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Can you feel anything now?
0:43:21 > 0:43:22Um, no.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34How about now?
0:43:39 > 0:43:42- No.- That's odd.
0:43:42 > 0:43:45I feel quite a powerful energy here.
0:43:47 > 0:43:48Yeah.
0:43:49 > 0:43:55- Yeah, I can feel...something.- Yeah?
0:43:56 > 0:43:59Yeah, it's like a kind of warmth.
0:43:59 > 0:44:01Yeah.
0:44:03 > 0:44:06What if I move my hands here?
0:44:08 > 0:44:09Yeah.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12Oh, my God, yeah!
0:44:12 > 0:44:15David, can I have a word, please?
0:44:15 > 0:44:19- What?- Can I have a word?
0:44:20 > 0:44:22- Now?- Yeah.
0:44:25 > 0:44:26Excuse me.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32- What are you doing? - What do you mean?
0:44:32 > 0:44:35What does it look like? I'm being pulled.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37Who's doing the pulling?
0:44:37 > 0:44:39She's keen. I'm fighting her off.
0:44:39 > 0:44:43- It's my wife's sister.- I know. - Can you not do that.- Do what?
0:44:43 > 0:44:47Just go and chat up somebody else, do you know what I mean? Just...
0:44:47 > 0:44:49- Seriously?- Yeah.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52- You don't mean that.- Jane doesn't want you chatting up her sister.
0:44:52 > 0:44:57- Jane...- I don't want you... - You said Jane... - We both don't want that.
0:44:57 > 0:45:00- Can you just do it for me? - It's Jane, isn't it?- Yes.- Yes!
0:45:00 > 0:45:03Well, why can't Jane ask them then?
0:45:05 > 0:45:09Bec... OK, because Jane thinks that you're shit with women.
0:45:09 > 0:45:16Well, I don't care what Jane thinks. I want to know why you don't want me chatting to Jane's sister.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19- I don't want the grief. - Oh, well. That's it, isn't it?
0:45:19 > 0:45:24Just don't chat up Stephanie, OK? That's the key issue.
0:45:24 > 0:45:27There's no key issue. There's no key issue. It's a party.
0:45:27 > 0:45:32- She's over 18. She's a girl and she's chatting me up. - Forget Jane. Do it for me.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34No, that's not what it's about.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37It's about you doing things you wouldn't normally do.
0:45:37 > 0:45:39- That's not what this is.- It is.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42If I was chatting her up and if it wasn't for the commandant...
0:45:42 > 0:45:46Woah, woah, woah! Don't call my wife a commandant.
0:45:46 > 0:45:48What are you?
0:45:48 > 0:45:51Just go, go. Go now.
0:45:51 > 0:45:53- What?- I'm not having you call my wife a commandant.
0:45:53 > 0:45:57- Can you go?- It was a joke. - Not funny.- It is.- Am I laughing?
0:45:57 > 0:46:01- What?- That's...- My problem?- Yeah. - Because you called a commandant?
0:46:01 > 0:46:04- I... I think you should just sod off. No. Michael...- Just go, go.
0:46:04 > 0:46:07- Get out!- It was a joke.- Piss off.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10I don't want you here any more. Just go.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14All right. Fucking hell.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27What's going on?
0:46:27 > 0:46:29- He wants me out.- He wants you out?
0:46:29 > 0:46:31- Yeah.- Why?- I don't know.
0:46:31 > 0:46:32Well, what did he say?
0:46:32 > 0:46:37- Apparently, your sister's being a bit overprotective of you.- Why?
0:46:37 > 0:46:40I'm old enough to look after myself.
0:46:40 > 0:46:43Anyway, I'm going to go.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45Well, where are you going?
0:46:45 > 0:46:50- I don't know.- Well, I don't really like it here either.
0:46:50 > 0:46:54I could come with you and we could go to a bar or something.
0:46:56 > 0:46:58- OK.- Yeah?
0:46:58 > 0:47:01- Yeah.- Cool.
0:47:20 > 0:47:22How's this?
0:47:22 > 0:47:26- That's nice.- Is it?- Yeah.
0:47:37 > 0:47:40Am I doing it right?
0:47:40 > 0:47:45- Yeah, yeah.- You sure? - Yeah, yeah, it's...
0:47:51 > 0:47:53That's great.
0:47:56 > 0:48:00- Are you sure I'm not doing something wrong?- No, no, no.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03It's, um...
0:48:04 > 0:48:08Yeah. Hold on, let me try something.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26Oh, well.
0:48:36 > 0:48:42This has never... This has never happened before.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44- Um...- All right.
0:48:46 > 0:48:50It's just a bit disappointing, that's all.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Yeah, I know.
0:48:54 > 0:48:58Maybe you don't find me very attractive.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01No, no, no. You're really attractive. It's not that.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03It's, um...
0:49:08 > 0:49:10Maybe I should go.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14You don't have to.
0:49:14 > 0:49:16Well, do you want me to stay?
0:49:17 > 0:49:20It's up to you.
0:49:20 > 0:49:22I think I'll go.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14- Will you be OK? - Yeah, I'll be fine.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16Getting back, I mean.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26- Bye.- Bye.
0:50:47 > 0:50:50- So?- So?
0:50:50 > 0:50:53So what happened with you and Jane's sister?
0:50:53 > 0:50:55Ah, nothing really.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57So where did you two disappear to?
0:50:57 > 0:50:59Went back to my flat, just chatted for a bit.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04- Yeah, and?- Nothing.- Er?- No.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06- She seemed keen.- Yeah?
0:51:06 > 0:51:08Well, you know, I couldn't, um...
0:51:10 > 0:51:15Um, maintain... I didn't get... I couldn't get it up.
0:51:16 > 0:51:19Oh, well. These things happen, don't they?
0:51:19 > 0:51:22- Has it happened to you?- Me? Never. - Right.
0:51:22 > 0:51:28Maybe it was just because her body was a surprise to you.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31- What happened to you and that girl? - Well, it started off badly.
0:51:31 > 0:51:35We weren't getting on at all, but then it just changed.
0:51:35 > 0:51:37I don't know, all of sudden it just became really easy.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40We talked for hours and then she left.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43So are you going to see her again?
0:51:43 > 0:51:45I'm seeing her tonight.
0:51:45 > 0:51:48- Wow! What about those girls from the agency?- No.
0:51:48 > 0:51:53- I know what you were saying now about love.- Don't listen to me about love.
0:51:53 > 0:51:57I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, and not a word about...
0:51:59 > 0:52:01- What?- You know.
0:52:01 > 0:52:03Oh, yeah, yeah.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14Great.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17Lovely.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20Excellent. Brilliant. Good.
0:52:23 > 0:52:27- And something really sexy, something...- Oh, yeah!
0:52:27 > 0:52:31Lay on the camp maybe. That's brilliant.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34Maybe with your hand in the air or...
0:52:36 > 0:52:39- Yeah.- Excellent. Yeah.- Afternoon.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43Could you excuse me for a minute?
0:52:43 > 0:52:45- Sure.- Thanks.
0:52:49 > 0:52:53- What happened to you? - You know the woman from Sidcup?
0:52:53 > 0:52:57I was round there doing me charity work. Her old fella came home early.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59No.
0:52:59 > 0:53:03He come barging through the door. She screams. I'm trying to get off her.
0:53:03 > 0:53:08He give me a right whack. Effing this, effing that. He drags her out the bed.
0:53:08 > 0:53:11So I dive off. I'm scrambling round looking for me pants.
0:53:11 > 0:53:16He's got her by the throat screaming, "You bastard! You won't wear suspenders for me!"
0:53:18 > 0:53:21And your arm? How long are you in a sling for?
0:53:21 > 0:53:25A few days I think. She come off worse than me.
0:53:25 > 0:53:27- Why? - He give her a right slapping.
0:53:27 > 0:53:29She looks like Dusty Springfield.
0:53:29 > 0:53:33Anyway, she stayed at her sisters last night.
0:53:33 > 0:53:36I told her she can move in with me for a while.
0:53:36 > 0:53:39What, moving in?
0:53:39 > 0:53:43Her old man's out tonight apparently. Plays darts.
0:53:43 > 0:53:45So she's going to get her stuff.
0:53:47 > 0:53:50She gonna like move in for good?
0:53:50 > 0:53:52We thought we'd give it a go.
0:53:52 > 0:53:54Right.
0:53:54 > 0:54:00- She tells me she's a good cook. - You need a bit of food.
0:54:02 > 0:54:06- I suppose you'd better get back to Freddie, , eh?- Oh, God, yeah.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09- Shall I go and get some coffee? - Yeah, all right.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19DOORBELL RINGS
0:54:28 > 0:54:30- Hi.- Hi.
0:54:32 > 0:54:33Well, come in.
0:54:33 > 0:54:36Sure, if...
0:54:36 > 0:54:37Is Jane in?
0:54:37 > 0:54:40- No.- Oh.
0:54:40 > 0:54:46- Do you want to tell her what you got up with with her sister last night? - Nothing happened.- I know.
0:54:49 > 0:54:53Listen, I'm sorry about all that stuff yesterday.
0:54:53 > 0:54:56- Do you want something to drink? - Yeah.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01Yeah. Well, maybe I said a bit too much as well.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06I didn't mean that stuff about Jane.
0:55:06 > 0:55:08She's nice.
0:55:08 > 0:55:12I don't think she's like the camp commandant.
0:55:12 > 0:55:16- Thank you.- I think she'd look great in a uniform though.
0:55:19 > 0:55:24- Yeah.- You know, it's... You two are great together.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27I think... I think I probably...
0:55:27 > 0:55:29Oh, I don't know. I'm all a bit...
0:55:29 > 0:55:33We aren't having a very good time at the moment.
0:55:33 > 0:55:36- No?- No.
0:55:37 > 0:55:40These things happen though, don't they?
0:55:40 > 0:55:42I mean, probably just need to work on it a bit.
0:55:42 > 0:55:44Been doing that for a while.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47Yeah. Well, maybe it would help to see someone to talk it through.
0:55:47 > 0:55:50Been seeing one of those for six months.
0:55:50 > 0:55:52- Really?- Yeah.
0:55:55 > 0:55:59- And?- It just tells us what we already know.
0:55:59 > 0:56:02That we don't seem to like each other very much.
0:56:02 > 0:56:06Anyway...cheers.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08Cheers.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16I like you. If it's any help.
0:56:16 > 0:56:18I like you, too.
0:56:56 > 0:56:58How are we doing?
0:56:58 > 0:57:01Have you been brushing your teeth?
0:57:03 > 0:57:07MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:57:09 > 0:57:12- Hello.- 'It's me.'
0:57:15 > 0:57:16Why are you whispering?
0:57:16 > 0:57:21I'm not...Yeah.
0:57:22 > 0:57:26Yeah. You were right. He was a total schmuck.
0:57:26 > 0:57:32So I told him I didn't want to see him any more. So...
0:57:34 > 0:57:36I'm not really doing anything.
0:57:38 > 0:57:40When?
0:57:42 > 0:57:44Er, where?
0:57:47 > 0:57:51Yeah? All right. I'll see you at four.
0:58:05 > 0:58:07- Hello, you.- Hi.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17- Tired?- Yeah, I am tired.
0:58:17 > 0:58:19Strange sense of deja vu in here.
0:58:19 > 0:58:22Yeah. I'm very pleased to see you.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24What can I get you?
0:58:24 > 0:58:26I'll have a coffee, please.
0:58:26 > 0:58:29You've gotta have something stronger.
0:58:29 > 0:58:31- What are you drinking?- Margarita.
0:58:31 > 0:58:33Yeah, OK. I'll have a margarita then.
0:58:33 > 0:58:35Anything else?
0:58:37 > 0:58:39No.
0:58:39 > 0:58:43So what was the name of the guy you were seeing?
0:58:43 > 0:58:45- Aidan.- Aidan.
0:58:46 > 0:58:49What went wrong with Aidan?
0:58:49 > 0:58:52I was tired of being taken for granted.
0:58:52 > 0:58:55He kept promising me things and never delivering.
0:58:55 > 0:58:58That's what happens when you go out with a married man.
0:58:58 > 0:59:00Yeah, well, not again.
0:59:00 > 0:59:03No?
0:59:03 > 0:59:05I think you liked the drama.
0:59:05 > 0:59:06No, I didn't.
0:59:06 > 0:59:09I don't think you'd like being in a nice, normal relationship, would you?
0:59:09 > 0:59:12- Course I would.- Really?
0:59:12 > 0:59:15I'd like to be with someone who'd treat me properly.
0:59:18 > 0:59:21Someone like you.
0:59:21 > 0:59:23I think you really cared about me, didn't you?
0:59:23 > 0:59:26Yeah, I did, but you lost interest as soon as I was single.
0:59:26 > 0:59:29Yeah, well, I didn't know what I was doing.
0:59:31 > 0:59:33I should never have got involved with him.
0:59:33 > 0:59:35- I'm not saying a word. - You don't have to.
0:59:39 > 0:59:41We had a good time though, didn't we?
0:59:43 > 0:59:45Most of the time.
0:59:45 > 0:59:46Still got the photo you took.
0:59:46 > 0:59:51- The one in the cafe? Yeah, that's quite good that, isn't it? - I love it.
0:59:51 > 0:59:52You're talented.
0:59:56 > 1:00:00That's what I liked about Aidan, too.
1:00:00 > 1:00:01He's really talented.
1:00:04 > 1:00:08Because he's so talented, he's used to being the centre of attention.
1:00:08 > 1:00:10People running round him all the time.
1:00:10 > 1:00:13Just ended up feeling I wasn't good enough.
1:00:15 > 1:00:21But then he'd go and do something really lovely like send me a bunch of roses and tell me he missed me.
1:00:21 > 1:00:23And I'd forgive him.
1:00:24 > 1:00:26Always turned up at two in the morning
1:00:26 > 1:00:30and just stand there in my doorway and say something really lovely.
1:00:32 > 1:00:34I'd let him back in.
1:00:34 > 1:00:37It'd be so good, I'd forget everything.
1:00:37 > 1:00:45- Yeah.- Um.- Then I'd cry and he'd go.
1:00:51 > 1:00:53Hope she hasn't made that drink yet.
1:00:53 > 1:00:56Why?
1:00:56 > 1:00:58Cos you're still in love with Aidan.
1:00:58 > 1:00:59He's not in love with me.
1:01:01 > 1:01:04It's not nice being second best, is it?
1:01:04 > 1:01:11- No.- Erm, I'd like to cancel that margarita, please.
1:01:11 > 1:01:13- 'Just cancel it?'- Yeah, please.
1:01:13 > 1:01:16'I'll just check if he's made it already.'
1:01:18 > 1:01:20Probably end up calling him later.
1:01:20 > 1:01:22And he'll come round.
1:01:32 > 1:01:33Um-hm.
1:02:35 > 1:02:37'You have no messages.'
1:03:17 > 1:03:21- BLEEP - 'I've still got a bit of a cold.
1:03:21 > 1:03:24'I'm going to be over in half an hour, so keep the chicken warm.
1:03:24 > 1:03:27'That means like switch the oven on.'
1:03:27 > 1:03:30- BLEEP - 'It's Lisa.'
1:03:31 > 1:03:35- SHE SOBS - 'Erm...
1:03:36 > 1:03:37'I'm just thinking about you.'
1:03:37 > 1:03:40'That's all. I'm just thinking about you.
1:03:41 > 1:03:42'See you later.'
1:03:43 > 1:03:47- BLEEP - 'Thank you for last night.
1:03:47 > 1:03:49'It was really nice.
1:03:49 > 1:03:51'Really enjoyed the film.
1:03:51 > 1:03:53'You really made me laugh.
1:03:53 > 1:03:55'It was a really nice night.
1:03:55 > 1:03:59'Anyway, just thinking about it today and feeling very warm.
1:04:00 > 1:04:02'I'll see you later.'
1:04:10 > 1:04:12- Hey, it's me.- 'Oh, hi.'
1:04:14 > 1:04:16- How are you?- 'I'm OK.'
1:04:18 > 1:04:20Listen, I'd really like to come over and see you.
1:04:20 > 1:04:22- 'What do you want?'- Just to talk.
1:04:22 > 1:04:25'Well, I can't. I'm going out now.'
1:04:25 > 1:04:26When are you going?
1:04:26 > 1:04:28- 'Any minute.'- How many minutes?
1:04:28 > 1:04:32- 'I don't know. Twenty minutes.'- I'll be right over.
1:04:32 > 1:04:34- 'David, I'm going out.'- I just need to see you really quickly.
1:04:34 > 1:04:36Please. I'll be right over.
1:05:00 > 1:05:02I'm glad I caught you.
1:05:05 > 1:05:07I'm going out now, David.
1:05:07 > 1:05:09- Where are you going? - Something to eat.
1:05:09 > 1:05:12Where are you going?
1:05:12 > 1:05:14Chalk Farm.
1:05:14 > 1:05:16Well, can I just walk with you?
1:05:16 > 1:05:17OK.
1:05:20 > 1:05:22So what do you want?
1:05:22 > 1:05:24Lisa, I'm...
1:05:24 > 1:05:27really sorry about what happened.
1:05:27 > 1:05:28I'm glad you're sorry.
1:05:28 > 1:05:31I made a massive mistake. I'm an idiot.
1:05:31 > 1:05:33I should never have split up with you
1:05:33 > 1:05:37and I'm sorry if I hurt you.
1:05:37 > 1:05:41- Can't we just forget this ever happened?- No.
1:05:43 > 1:05:45I think we should get back together.
1:05:45 > 1:05:48I really do.
1:05:48 > 1:05:50- You don't love me.- I do.
1:05:50 > 1:05:52It doesn't matter.
1:05:52 > 1:05:55- I promise you it'll be different. - It's too late.
1:05:59 > 1:06:03- Lisa, I think we should get married. - You think we should get married?
1:06:03 > 1:06:04Yeah.
1:06:04 > 1:06:06No.
1:06:08 > 1:06:10Tell me what you want. What do you want?
1:06:13 > 1:06:16I want to be with someone who really loves me.
1:06:16 > 1:06:19- I do.- Tell me honestly.
1:06:25 > 1:06:29I didn't love you properly before, but I will.
1:06:29 > 1:06:32- I really loved you. - I know.- I really loved you.
1:06:32 > 1:06:35And I didn't appreciate that, but I do.
1:06:35 > 1:06:38Anyway...
1:06:38 > 1:06:39I have to go.
1:06:39 > 1:06:41- Do you have to?- Yeah.
1:06:43 > 1:06:46Lisa...
1:06:46 > 1:06:47Bye, David.
1:07:14 > 1:07:17# I guess now it's time
1:07:17 > 1:07:24# For me to give up, it's time
1:07:24 > 1:07:27# Got a picture of you beside me
1:07:27 > 1:07:32# Got your lipstick marks still on your coffee cup
1:07:36 > 1:07:39# Got a fist of pure emotion
1:07:39 > 1:07:42# Got a head of shattered dreams
1:07:42 > 1:07:47# Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now
1:07:48 > 1:07:52# Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
1:07:52 > 1:07:55# I just want you back for good
1:07:59 > 1:08:04# Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me the song and I'll sing it
1:08:04 > 1:08:07# You'll be right and understood
1:08:08 > 1:08:11# I want you back for good
1:08:12 > 1:08:15# Unaware but underlined
1:08:16 > 1:08:21# I figured out the story, it wasn't good
1:08:22 > 1:08:25# But in a corner of my mind,
1:08:27 > 1:08:30# I celebrated glory
1:08:30 > 1:08:34# But that was not to be
1:08:34 > 1:08:40# In the twist of separation You excelled at being free
1:08:40 > 1:08:45# Can't you find a little room inside for me?
1:08:46 > 1:08:50# Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
1:08:50 > 1:08:53# I just want you back for good
1:08:58 > 1:09:02# Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me the song and I'll sing it
1:09:02 > 1:09:04# You'll be right and understood
1:09:06 > 1:09:09# I want you back for good
1:09:11 > 1:09:14# And we'll be together
1:09:16 > 1:09:22# This time it's forever
1:09:22 > 1:09:26# And we'll be fighting and forever we will be
1:09:26 > 1:09:29# So complete in our love
1:09:29 > 1:09:35# We will never be uncovered again...
1:09:38 > 1:09:43# Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
1:09:43 > 1:09:46# I just want you back for good
1:09:50 > 1:09:54# Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me the song and I'll sing it
1:09:54 > 1:09:58# You'll be right and understood
1:09:59 > 1:10:02# I want you back for good. #
1:10:43 > 1:10:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd