0:01:44 > 0:01:49# A legend is sung Of when England was young
0:01:49 > 0:01:55# And knights were brave and bold
0:01:55 > 0:02:02# The good King had died And no-one could decide
0:02:02 > 0:02:08# Who was rightful heir To the throne
0:02:09 > 0:02:15# It seemed that the land Would be torn by war
0:02:15 > 0:02:23# Or saved by a miracle alone
0:02:23 > 0:02:27# And that miracle appeared
0:02:27 > 0:02:35# In London Town
0:02:36 > 0:02:47# The sword in the stone #
0:02:47 > 0:02:50'And below the hilt, in letters of gold,
0:02:50 > 0:02:53were written these words.'
0:02:53 > 0:02:57'"Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil
0:02:57 > 0:03:00is rightwise king born of England."'
0:03:02 > 0:03:05'Though many tried for the sword,
0:03:05 > 0:03:09none could move the sword, nor stir it.'
0:03:09 > 0:03:11'So the miracle had not worked.'
0:03:11 > 0:03:14'England was still without a king.'
0:03:14 > 0:03:19'And in time the marvellous sword was forgotten.'
0:03:23 > 0:03:30'This was a dark age, without law and without order.'
0:03:30 > 0:03:33'Men lived in fear of one another.'
0:03:33 > 0:03:38'For the strong preyed upon the weak.'
0:03:38 > 0:03:41(EERIE WILDLIFE CHATTER)
0:04:00 > 0:04:02(CHINKING)
0:04:06 > 0:04:09A dark age indeed.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Age of inconvenience.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14(GRUNTS OF EXERTION) No plumbing.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17(GRUNTS) No electricity.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19No... nothing.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Argh!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23(WATERY ECHO) Oh, hang it all.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26(COUGHS) Hang it all.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28(COUGHS & SPLUTTERS)
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Now what?! (CHAINS JANGLE)
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Leave off, leave off.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37Oh, you, you fiendish chain, you.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Everything complicated.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45One big medieval mess. (DOOR SLAMS)
0:04:45 > 0:04:47(EXPERIMENT BUBBLES)
0:04:51 > 0:04:54(CLEARS THROAT) Now, er, let me see.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58Erm, he should be here in, er, half an hour.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Hoo? Hoo?!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03(ECHO) I'd like to know hoo.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06I told you, Archimedes, I'm not sure.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10All I know is that someone is coming. Someone important.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12(EXASPERATED) Oh, pinfeathers!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Fate will direct him to me so I may guide him
0:05:15 > 0:05:18to his rightful place in the world.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Huh! You say he will arrive in half an hour?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Hah. Well, we'll just see.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28And you will, Archimedes, you will.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Ow!
0:05:31 > 0:05:37He'll be, erm, a boy. Small boy.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Er, 11, 12 years old, er,...
0:05:41 > 0:05:44..and, er, scrawny little fella.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46Er, yeah...
0:05:46 > 0:05:52Oh, no, no, that can't be the one. That big lad must be close on to 20.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Ah. (LAUGHS) There he is.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Scrawny little fellow of about 12.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01He's a regular little grasshopper.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Look at him go. (GIGGLES)
0:06:03 > 0:06:07And where would you guess he is at this very moment?
0:06:07 > 0:06:12- I am not guessing, Archimedes. I- know- where he is.
0:06:12 > 0:06:18Er, less than a mile from here. Just beyond the forest.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23And right on schedule, if-if all goes well.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- (BRANCH CREAKS) - Quiet, Wart.
0:06:26 > 0:06:31I'm trying to be.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Nobody asked you to come along in the first place.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35I'm not even moving.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35(HUSHED) Shut up!
0:06:35 > 0:06:38A-ha! Here we go.
0:06:38 > 0:06:45Oh, what a set up. Right smack through the old gizzard.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46(CREAKS)
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Whoa!
0:06:51 > 0:06:54Why, you clumsy little fool!
0:06:54 > 0:06:58Please, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Please.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00If I ever... Ergh!
0:07:00 > 0:07:04If I ever get my hands on you I'll wring your neck,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06so help me, I will.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10I'll get there, OK? I'm sure I can find it.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Huh!
0:07:11 > 0:07:15(MEAN LAUGH) Don't tell me you're going in there.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18Why, it's swarming with wolves.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21I'm not afraid.
0:07:21 > 0:07:26Go ahead. It's your skin, not mine. Go on, go on.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36(CRUNCHY MUNCHING)
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Urgh!
0:07:46 > 0:07:47Urgh...
0:07:54 > 0:07:56There it is, oh, there it is.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Oh...
0:08:09 > 0:08:11(GULPS)
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Whoa!
0:08:27 > 0:08:29(COUGHS & SPLUTTERS)
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
0:08:31 > 0:08:35So, you did drop in for tea after all. Heh-heh-heh!
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Oh, you are a bit late, you know.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42Oh, I am?
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Now,... (CLEARS THROAT) my name is Merlin.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Come, come, who are you, my lad?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Arthur, but everyone calls me Wart.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Oh.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55What a perfect stuffed owl!
0:08:55 > 0:08:58(CHOKES) Stuffed?! I-I beg your pardon?
0:08:58 > 0:09:01He's alive and he talks.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05And certainly a great deal better than you do.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Oh, come, Archimedes, come, come now.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11I want you to meet the Wart.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14You must forgive him, he's only a boy.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Boy, boy? I see no boy.
0:09:19 > 0:09:25I'm sorry I caused -
0:09:21 > 0:09:25That's alright. He's much too sensitive.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Sensitive, huh? Hoo? What, what?
0:09:28 > 0:09:29(LAUGHS)
0:09:29 > 0:09:32How did you know I -
0:09:30 > 0:09:32That you would be dropping in?
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Well, I happen to be a wizard,
0:09:35 > 0:09:38a soothsayer, a prognosticator.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41I have the power to see into the future.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45Centuries into the future.
0:09:45 > 0:09:49I've even been there. And I've seen all these things.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53They're only plans and small models, of course.
0:09:53 > 0:09:59This, for instance, is a steam locomotive.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Heh-heh! There she goes.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08Ha-ha! Pretty good, hey?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15That won't be invented for 100s of years.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19Oh, you can see everything before it happens?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Yes. Everything.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Ah-ah-ah. Everything, Merlin?
0:10:23 > 0:10:27Er, no, no, not everything.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31- I admit I didn't know- whom - to expect for tea,
0:10:31 > 0:10:37but, as you can see, I figured the exact place.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40You're very clever, sir.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Yes. Well, never mind the... sir.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46Just, er, plain Merlin will do.
0:10:46 > 0:10:50Now, would you care for sugar?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50Oh, yes, I would, please.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53Alright. Sugar! Sugar!
0:10:57 > 0:11:02No. Manners, manners, manners. Guests first. You know that.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Alright. Say when, lad.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08When.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Have you had any schooling?
0:11:10 > 0:11:12(MUFFLED) Yes.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15I'm training to be a squire. I'm learning combat,
0:11:15 > 0:11:19swordsmanship, jousting, and horsemanship.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Oh, yes, yes, very good. That's...
0:11:22 > 0:11:29No! No! I mean a real education. Mathematics, history, biology,
0:11:29 > 0:11:31natural science, English,
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Latin, French... (COUGHS) No! When, when!
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Blast it all. WHEN!
0:11:39 > 0:11:42Impudent piece of crockery. (MUTTERS CROSSLY)
0:11:45 > 0:11:46Boy,
0:11:46 > 0:11:48now you can't...
0:11:52 > 0:11:56You can't grow up without a decent education.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58I suppose not, sir... Merlin.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02So, I am going to be your tutor.
0:12:02 > 0:12:07I've gotta get back to the castle. They'll want me in the kitchen.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Oh... Very well.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10We'll pack and be on our way.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14You watch now, you'll like this.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18(MUSIC STARTS)
0:12:18 > 0:12:20# Higitus, figitus, zumba ka zing
0:12:22 > 0:12:25# I want your attention, everything
0:12:26 > 0:12:29# We're packing to leave Come on, let's go
0:12:29 > 0:12:33# No, no, not you Books are always first, you know
0:12:36 > 0:12:40# Hockety, pockety, wockety, wack Abra cabra dabra nack
0:12:40 > 0:12:42# Shrink in size, very small
0:12:42 > 0:12:44# We've got to save Enough room for all
0:12:44 > 0:12:50# Higitus, figuitus, migitus, mum Prestidigitonium!
0:12:55 > 0:12:59# Alica fez, balica zez Malaca mez, meripides
0:12:59 > 0:13:01# Hockety pockety... # Whoa!
0:13:01 > 0:13:05(MUSIC STOPS / CROCKERY CLATTERS)
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Now, stop, stop.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09Sugar Boy, you're getting rough. That tea set is cracked enough.
0:13:09 > 0:13:10(CLATTERS)
0:13:10 > 0:13:16Alright, let's start again. Er,... er, oh, where was I, boy?
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Er... Hockety pockety?
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Oh, yes.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23# Hockety pockety, wockety wack Odds and ends and bric-a-brac... #
0:13:23 > 0:13:28Be with you in just a minute, son. The packing's almost done.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30(MUFFLED)
0:13:30 > 0:13:33You... You bungling blockhead!
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Hey, easy there. No, no, go ahead.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39# Dum, doodly, doodly Doodly dum... #
0:13:39 > 0:13:40This is the best part.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43# Higitus, figitus, migitus mum Prestidigitonium
0:13:43 > 0:13:47# Higitus, figitus, migitus, mum Prestidigitonium! #
0:13:47 > 0:13:50Ha-ha!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50(AWED) What a way to pack.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53(LAUGHS) Well...
0:13:53 > 0:13:58Just a minute. How else'd you get all this stuff in one suitcase?
0:13:58 > 0:14:02I think it's wonderful!
0:14:00 > 0:14:02Yes, it is rather. (LAUGHS)
0:14:02 > 0:14:07Hee-hee... Er, don't you get any foolish ideas
0:14:07 > 0:14:11- that magic will solve all your problems.- It- won't.
0:14:11 > 0:14:13But, sir, I don't have problems.
0:14:13 > 0:14:19Oh, bah! Everybody's got problems. The world is full of problems.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Oh, blast it all. There, you see what I mean.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Gargh! Ooh!
0:14:29 > 0:14:32That's the trouble with the world today.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Everybody butting their heads against a brick wall.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38All muscle and no mentality.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Do you want to be all muscle and no brain?
0:14:40 > 0:14:45I don't have any muscle.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45You don't?! How do you move about?
0:14:45 > 0:14:48I suppose I do have a little.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48There, that's enough.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Knowledge and wisdom.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56There's the real power. Higher learning, that's the thing.
0:14:56 > 0:14:57(WHIMPERS)
0:14:57 > 0:15:02Tomorrow we'll start a full schedule, eight hours a day.
0:15:02 > 0:15:06Six hours for school room and two for study period.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08But I... Ooh!
0:15:08 > 0:15:11I don't have time. I have page duties.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Page duties? Hah!
0:15:14 > 0:15:16(WHIMPERS)
0:15:17 > 0:15:21We'll change that. There's got to be a shake-up.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Well, yes, sir, I suppose so.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28How can you amount to anything without an education?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Even in these backward medieval times,
0:15:31 > 0:15:35you have got to know where you're going, don't you?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Y-yes, sir.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41So, you must plan for the future, boy.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45You've got to find a direction, and you've...
0:15:47 > 0:15:50What direction is this castle of yours?
0:15:50 > 0:15:54I think it's north, the other way.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Oh, oh...
0:15:54 > 0:15:56(MUTTERS)
0:15:56 > 0:16:00Alright, we'd better get a move on. Pick up the pace.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03(EXHAUSTED PANTS)
0:16:03 > 0:16:05(WHEEZES)
0:16:08 > 0:16:10(GASPS)
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Drrrrr!
0:16:26 > 0:16:30The devil take it. The devil take it.
0:16:30 > 0:16:35Anyone's got better sense than to go barging off in that forest alone.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38You had no business letting him go.
0:16:38 > 0:16:42Look, Dad, I'm not the Wart's (GULPS) keeper.
0:16:42 > 0:16:48Well, I am. I took him in, adopted him you might say.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51As his foster father I'm responsible.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54(DOGS BARK EXCITEDLY)
0:16:58 > 0:17:01Tiger, Talbot, off with you.
0:17:01 > 0:17:05What's the big idea, gallivanting in the woods,
0:17:05 > 0:17:08worrying the living daylights out of us?
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Sorry.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Sorry's not enough. Four demerits.
0:17:11 > 0:17:16Four hours extra kitchen duty. Report to the cook!
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- But, sir, I'd like you to meet - - Go on. Hop, hop, hop it!
0:17:19 > 0:17:24You've got to keep a tight schedule to run this place.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Needs strict rules, especially for small boys.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30And I most certainly agree.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34WHO ARE YOU?! And,... oh, I mean, you?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36My name is Merlin.
0:17:36 > 0:17:40This is Archimedes, a highly-educated owl.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41(COUGHS)
0:17:41 > 0:17:47Educated owl? That's a good one. (HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER)
0:17:47 > 0:17:52Say, I know, you've got him under a spell, Marvin.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54You're a magician.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57The name is Merlin.
0:17:57 > 0:18:02And I happen to be the world's most powerful wizard.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07(LAUGHS) Come off it, man. Gadzooks!
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Alright, I shall demonstrate.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Higitus, figitus, migitus, moe.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Wind and snow, swirl and blow!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21What the devil are you up to?
0:18:21 > 0:18:24(LAUGHS) I call that a wizard blizzard.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28(LAUGHS) Kay, would you look at this!
0:18:28 > 0:18:32An indoor blizzard, and in the month of July.
0:18:32 > 0:18:39So, what?
0:18:34 > 0:18:39Alright, Marvin, turn her off. Brrrr! I'm convinced.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Alakazam!
0:18:44 > 0:18:49I hope you don't go in for any of that black magic.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Oh, no, no, no, no. Never touch the stuff.
0:18:52 > 0:18:57No, my magic is used mainly for educational purposes.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01In fact, that is why I am here.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05I have come to educate the Wart.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Oh, no, you don't. I'm running this place.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11If you think you can fiddle with my schedule,
0:19:11 > 0:19:14pack up your bag of tricks and go!
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Poof!
0:19:14 > 0:19:19Well, by Jove. Kay, he's gone.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21(GULPS) Good riddance.
0:19:21 > 0:19:26'I'm gone, but then I'm not gone. (LAUGHS)'
0:19:26 > 0:19:32- 'So, if I- do- leave, you can never be sure that I- am- gone, can you?'
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Well, er... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
0:19:35 > 0:19:38I must say you've got me there, Marvin.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44You win. You're welcome to stay, if you like.
0:19:44 > 0:19:50Thank you. You're very kind, very generous, I must say.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54Well, all we can offer is room and board.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Hard times, you know, Marvin.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01We'll put you in the northwest tower - the guest room.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03It's draughty in winter,
0:20:03 > 0:20:08but in this hot weather it's the best room.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Ooh, yes, very lovely indeed.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11So, just make yourself at home, Marvin.
0:20:11 > 0:20:16(FADING INTO DISTANCE) Marvin! Marvin, Marvin, Marvin.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24(THUNDER RUMBLES)
0:20:29 > 0:20:33Best room in the house(!) (GRUNTS)
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Guest room? Unwelcome-guest room.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39But if he thinks he can get rid of me,
0:20:39 > 0:20:42I've got news for that old walrus. I'm sticking it out.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45And I say we go back to the woods.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Oh, not on your life.
0:20:47 > 0:20:52That boy's got to have an education. He has a future.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54You may be right.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58A skinny kid like that'd make a good chimney sweep. (LAUGHS)
0:20:58 > 0:21:01(SPLUTTERS & COUGHS)
0:21:01 > 0:21:05Ha-ha! Something tells me you're all wet.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Archimedes...
0:21:06 > 0:21:08(HORN BLOWS)
0:21:09 > 0:21:13(HORSE WHINNIES & GALLOPING HOOVES)
0:21:13 > 0:21:14(HORN)
0:21:14 > 0:21:20Who goes there?
0:21:16 > 0:21:20Pelinore. It's Pelinore, dash it all.
0:21:20 > 0:21:24I've got big news from London. Big news.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27Come on, man, drop the bridge.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34(HORSE WHINNIES)
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Oh, big news, eh?
0:21:39 > 0:21:43They can't wait for the London Times.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47First edition won't be out for at least... 1200 years.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51Archimedes, would you mind sailing down there and -
0:21:51 > 0:21:53(ECHOES) Not interested.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Oh, come, come now. You're as wet as you can get.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00NO! No, no, no!
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Archimedes, I'll turn you into a human.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07Hmm! You wouldn't dare.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I will. So help me I will.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Well, alright, alright, alright.
0:22:10 > 0:22:15(LAUGHS) Alright. Works every time. Just like magic.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Pelinore! (LAUGHS HEARTILY)
0:22:29 > 0:22:34Pelinore! Ha! Greetings, old boy!
0:22:34 > 0:22:39What's all the noise about London?
0:22:36 > 0:22:39Big news. Really big news.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42Sit down, man, and let's hear all about it.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45They're having a big tournament New Year's Day.
0:22:45 > 0:22:49That's not news, dash it all. They always do.
0:22:49 > 0:22:54But Ector, here's where all the excitement comes in. (SNIFFS)
0:22:54 > 0:22:58To the winner of this tournament goes the crown.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00(CHOKES & SPLUTTERS)
0:23:00 > 0:23:04You... You... You mean King of all England?
0:23:04 > 0:23:09King of all England. (SNIFFS)
0:23:09 > 0:23:14Kay, lad, did you hear that?
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Ha, ha, pretty fair prize.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17You can win it, if you knuckle down to your training.
0:23:17 > 0:23:22We'll have you knighted by Christmas and off to London. Well?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Sure. Why not? Why not?
0:23:24 > 0:23:29Wart, how'd you like to go to London?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Oh, Sir Ector, you mean it?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32If you work hard you can be Kay's squire.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Oh, I will, sir.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35(CLATTERING CROCKERY)
0:23:35 > 0:23:37(BOTH LAUGH)
0:23:37 > 0:23:40I don't want the Wart for my squire.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Here's to London! And here's to Kay.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49Here's to the banner of the Castle of the Forest Sauvage. Cheers!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05(COCK CROWS)
0:24:06 > 0:24:09CHARGE!
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Weight forward. Lean into it. Steady, boy. Steady.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Steady with the lance.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Grip her tight. Hit him clean.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21No! No!
0:24:25 > 0:24:27HEADS UP!
0:24:31 > 0:24:35Archimedes, where,... where... Where are we?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37(ECHOES) In a tower
0:24:37 > 0:24:42in the most miserable castle in all Christendom, that's where.
0:24:42 > 0:24:47Cah... Castle? Castle?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Don't you even remember the boy?
0:24:47 > 0:24:51(YAWNS) Er, boy?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51(DISTANT) Can't you remember anything?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Just a moment, I -
0:24:53 > 0:24:56- Tight grip on the lance. - Oh.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Loose in the saddle, knees in tight.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Weight forward, and stay on target.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06(HORSE WHINNIES)
0:25:04 > 0:25:06You keep losing your grip.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09It's not a mere matter of muscle, son.
0:25:09 > 0:25:15Jousting is a... a fine skill. It's a highly-developed science.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Ha, ha, ha, science indeed.
0:25:18 > 0:25:22One dummy tries to knock off another with a bit of a stick.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25And the Wart's just as hot for it as them.
0:25:25 > 0:25:29He certainly is. He's got real spark. Spirit!
0:25:29 > 0:25:33Throws himself heart and soul into everything.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37That's worth something, if it can be turned in the right direction.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39Ha! Ha! Fat chance of that.
0:25:39 > 0:25:44Oh, I plan to cheat, of course. Use magic.
0:25:44 > 0:25:48Every last trick in the trade if I have to.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02I'd give anything to go riding about on a great white charger.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06Slaying dragons and griffins and man-eating giants.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10(LAUGHS) Well, er, won't you?
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Oh, no.
0:26:10 > 0:26:14I'm an orphan. A knight must be of proper birth.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17I hope I'm worthy to be Kay's squire.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19That's... a big job, too.
0:26:19 > 0:26:24Oh, indeed. Yes, yes, I would say almost impossible.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26(GIGGLES) Yes, well...
0:26:26 > 0:26:29- When I said I could swim - like- a fish,
0:26:29 > 0:26:31- I really meant- as- a fish.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34You mean, you can turn yourself into a fish?
0:26:34 > 0:26:37After all, I happen to be a wizard.
0:26:37 > 0:26:43- Could you turn- me- into a fish?
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Do you have the imagination to imagine yourself as a fish?
0:26:43 > 0:26:46That's easy. I've done that lots of times.
0:26:46 > 0:26:51Oh... Well, good. Then I think my magic can do the rest.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55Er...
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Archimedes, what is that fish forumula?
0:26:57 > 0:26:59(YAWNS)
0:27:00 > 0:27:03Hoo? Hoo? What, what?
0:27:03 > 0:27:07That Latin business.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Mmm? Fish? Latin?
0:27:07 > 0:27:13Oh, er... Aquarius. Aquaticus. Aqualitus.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15And... now, if you don't mind,
0:27:15 > 0:27:19I'll say good day to the both of you, if you please.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24(When he stays out all night he's always grumpy the next day.)
0:27:24 > 0:27:27(SNIGGERS) He must stay out every night.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27Yes...
0:27:27 > 0:27:31Oh! Ho-ho! Yes! Oh, I say, that's very good, boy.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- (CHORTLES) - Hoo? What? What?
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Alright, boy, all set? Here we go.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42Aquarius, aquaticus, aqualitus, qwum! Aqua-digi-tonium!
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Merlin, am I a fish? Am I a fish?
0:27:49 > 0:27:51Yes, yes, yes. You are a fish.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54But stop that flippity floppin' and get in the water,
0:27:54 > 0:27:57or you won't last long.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Dooh!
0:27:59 > 0:28:05Now, stay right here in the tules, and I'll be with you in a minute.
0:28:18 > 0:28:23(LAUGHS) So, you thought you could take right off like a shot?
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Well, I am a fish, aren't I?
0:28:30 > 0:28:33You merely look like a fish.
0:28:33 > 0:28:37Doesn't mean you can swim like one. You don't have the instinct.
0:28:37 > 0:28:42So, you'll have to use your brain for a change.
0:28:42 > 0:28:47You are living between two planes, somewhere between the ceiling...
0:28:47 > 0:28:49..and the floor.
0:28:51 > 0:28:55Now, lots of ups and downs, like, er,... like a helicopter.
0:28:55 > 0:29:01A helicopter?
0:28:57 > 0:29:01Yes. It's... Oh, never mind.
0:29:01 > 0:29:06Every flick of a fin creates movement.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09So, first we'll start with the caudal fin.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13No, no, use your tail, tail!
0:29:18 > 0:29:20That gives you the forward thrust.
0:29:20 > 0:29:27Come on, let's get a rhythm. Right, left, right, left. One, two.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30# Left and right Like day and night
0:29:30 > 0:29:34# That's what makes The world go round
0:29:34 > 0:29:38# In and out Thin and stout
0:29:38 > 0:29:41# That's what makes The world go round
0:29:41 > 0:29:44# For every up, there is a down
0:29:44 > 0:29:48# For every square
0:29:46 > 0:29:48- There is a round?- Yes.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51- # For every high - There is a low?- Uh-huh.
0:29:51 > 0:29:55# And for every to
0:29:53 > 0:29:55- There is a...- Fro.- Fro?- Yes, fro.
0:29:55 > 0:30:02# To and fro, stop and go That's what makes the world go round
0:30:02 > 0:30:05# In and out, thin and stout
0:30:05 > 0:30:08Merlin, Merlin, I swallowed a bug.
0:30:08 > 0:30:13(LAUGHS) What's wrong with that? After all, you are a fish.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17Instinct, you know.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17But you said I had no instinct.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19Yes. Ah... Oh. Oh, I did?
0:30:19 > 0:30:24That's neither here nor there. The main thing is you must...
0:30:24 > 0:30:29# Set your sights upon the heights Don't be a mediocrity
0:30:29 > 0:30:32Mediocrity?
0:30:31 > 0:30:32Right.
0:30:32 > 0:30:34# Don't just wait and trust to fate
0:30:34 > 0:30:37# And say that's how It's meant to be
0:30:37 > 0:30:40# It's up to you how far you go
0:30:40 > 0:30:44# If you don't try you'll never know
0:30:44 > 0:30:47# And so, my lad, as I've explained
0:30:47 > 0:30:50# Nothing ventured, nothing gained
0:30:50 > 0:30:52(HUMS MERRILY)
0:30:55 > 0:30:57(CHUCKLES & GIGGLES)
0:30:58 > 0:31:00(CHUCKLES)
0:31:02 > 0:31:07Let's swim through that tall grass again. It tickles.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11(BOTH LAUGH RIOTOUSLY)
0:31:16 > 0:31:20Oh, I beg your pardon.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20(LAUGHS) Me, too.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23# For every to there is a fro
0:31:23 > 0:31:25# For every stop there is a go
0:31:25 > 0:31:29# And that's what makes The world go round - #
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Ooh, let go, let go, let...
0:31:33 > 0:31:36Oh, you big bug-eyed bully, you.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38Who, me?
0:31:38 > 0:31:40Oh. Here, here, here, boy.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43No sense going round insulting bullfrogs.
0:31:43 > 0:31:44(RIBBITS)
0:31:44 > 0:31:47A fish has plenty of other problems.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50The water world has its forests and jungles.
0:31:50 > 0:31:54So it has its tigers and its wolves.
0:31:54 > 0:31:57And... that's what makes the world go round.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00# You see, my boy it's nature's way
0:32:00 > 0:32:02# Upon the weak the strong ones prey
0:32:02 > 0:32:05# In human life, it's also true
0:32:05 > 0:32:08(GASPS)
0:32:05 > 0:32:08# The strong will try to conquer you
0:32:08 > 0:32:11# And that is what you must expect
0:32:11 > 0:32:13# Unless you use your intellect
0:32:13 > 0:32:17# Brains and brawn
0:32:15 > 0:32:17(GASPS)
0:32:17 > 0:32:19Help, Merlin, help!
0:32:19 > 0:32:21Urgh... Je-hoshaphat!
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Oh!
0:32:29 > 0:32:35Quick, Merlin, the magic.
0:32:30 > 0:32:35No, you're on your own. Now's your chance to prove my point.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37What point? (GASPS)
0:32:37 > 0:32:40He's the brawn and you're the brain. Don't panic!
0:32:40 > 0:32:44Use your head. Outsmart the brute.
0:32:47 > 0:32:51Smart move, lad. That's using the old intellect.
0:33:29 > 0:33:30Argh!
0:33:32 > 0:33:35Bravo, boy. Great strategy.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38- Is the lesson about over? - Did you get the point?
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Yes, yes, brain over brawn.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43OK, I'll fix the brute. Higglede...
0:33:43 > 0:33:47No, no. Hocus pocus... Ah, what in blazes...?
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Hey, diddle da...
0:33:48 > 0:33:49Merlin!
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Uh? Huh?
0:33:51 > 0:33:53Now what?
0:33:53 > 0:33:56Oh, it's that boy.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Who... What in blazes?
0:33:58 > 0:34:00Help, help, help!
0:34:02 > 0:34:04Ouch!
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Help!
0:34:17 > 0:34:20Archimedes, help!
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Ooh...
0:34:26 > 0:34:29(MUTTERS CROSSLY)
0:34:46 > 0:34:51(WATERY) What is a monster like that doing in a moat?
0:34:51 > 0:34:55By George, I'll... I'll turn him into a minnow.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59Merlin!
0:34:56 > 0:34:59Oh. Oh, there, there you are, boy.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01Snick, snack, snorum.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05How in the world did you ever get out of that mess?
0:35:05 > 0:35:07That big fish almost swallowed me.
0:35:07 > 0:35:11And... Archimedes saved me.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11By Jove. (LAUGHS)
0:35:11 > 0:35:13What do you know about that!
0:35:13 > 0:35:16(COUGHS) I did nothing of the sort.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20I intended to eat him.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Young perch is my favourite dish. You know that.
0:35:23 > 0:35:28(LAUGHS) Do you believe that, Wart?
0:35:28 > 0:35:30- Well, I... - WART!
0:35:30 > 0:35:32Oh, I've gotta go.
0:35:32 > 0:35:36Thank you, it was so much fun. And, Archimedes, I...
0:35:36 > 0:35:40Pinfeathers, boy!
0:35:38 > 0:35:40WART! Where are you, Wart?
0:35:40 > 0:35:42Coming, I'm coming.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45Now, Archimedes,
0:35:45 > 0:35:49why would you half drown yourself for a tidbit of fish?
0:35:49 > 0:35:52And after such a big breakfast.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55Pinfeathers and gully fluff!
0:35:56 > 0:35:59We were doing fine until we got into deep water.
0:35:59 > 0:36:03Along comes this huge pike with sharp teeth.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05(ECHOEY) Turn him off, Dad.
0:36:05 > 0:36:08A monster, the biggest fish I ever saw.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12That's the biggest fish story I ever heard.
0:36:12 > 0:36:19But it's true, sir.
0:36:14 > 0:36:19Three demerits for being late and three more for the fish story.
0:36:19 > 0:36:24Now hop into the kitchen.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24(ECHOEY LAUGH) I told you the Wart was looney.
0:36:24 > 0:36:29He's either out of his head or there's something fishy going on.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34# For every high, there is a low
0:36:34 > 0:36:38(ECHOES) # For every to there is a fro
0:36:38 > 0:36:41# To and fro, stop and go
0:36:41 > 0:36:44# That's what makes The world go round... #
0:36:45 > 0:36:49Oh, it's you, Merlin, sir.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49Yes, my lad.
0:36:49 > 0:36:54Now, have you ever considered being a squirrel?
0:36:54 > 0:36:57No, I don't suppose...
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Well, now.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01There is a tiny creature with enormous problems.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04How he has survived throughout the ages
0:37:04 > 0:37:07is one of nature's big mysteries.
0:37:07 > 0:37:12His life is hazardous, downright dangerous.
0:37:12 > 0:37:15Er, would you like to try it?
0:37:15 > 0:37:22Oh, no, I'd better not.
0:37:17 > 0:37:22Too dangerous for you, eh?
0:37:22 > 0:37:27It's not that. I've got six demerits and all this work to do.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30What a mess! What a medieval muddle.
0:37:30 > 0:37:35We'll have to modernise it. Start an assembly-line system.
0:37:36 > 0:37:40Alright now. A one and a two and a three and a four.
0:37:40 > 0:37:44(UPBEAT MUSIC STARTS)
0:37:48 > 0:37:53# Higitus, figitus, migitus, mum Skitun de bitun de batun de dum!
0:37:55 > 0:37:59I'm supposed to do it.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59No-one will know the difference.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02Who cares as long as the work gets done?
0:38:07 > 0:38:10# Rubbity! Scrubbity! Sweepity flo!
0:38:14 > 0:38:17Come on, son, let's go, let's go.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33(BIRDS TWITTER)
0:38:33 > 0:38:37Wart! Wart!
0:38:37 > 0:38:40Wart, now, now take it easy. Take it easy, boy.
0:38:40 > 0:38:44What... Wart, no, boy, no, no. Wart!
0:38:44 > 0:38:46Wha... Whoa!
0:38:46 > 0:38:50What did I tell you? Look before you leap.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Well, I made it, didn't I?
0:38:52 > 0:38:58Yes, yes, you made it, but you can't always trust to luck.
0:38:58 > 0:39:03Now, first, you start with the short jumps.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06Gauge the distance carefully and...
0:39:06 > 0:39:08Doh-ho!
0:39:08 > 0:39:11There, you see. Even then you can miss.
0:39:11 > 0:39:15Don't take gravity lightly or it'll catch up with you.
0:39:15 > 0:39:20What's gravity?
0:39:17 > 0:39:20Gravity is what causes you to fall.
0:39:20 > 0:39:22Oh, like a stumble or a trip?
0:39:22 > 0:39:26Yes, like a... No, no. It's the force that pulls you down.
0:39:26 > 0:39:31The phenomenon that any two material particles or bodies,
0:39:31 > 0:39:35if free to move, will be accelerated toward each other.
0:39:35 > 0:39:39(FRIENDLY SQUIRRELY CHATTER)
0:39:46 > 0:39:49(SQUIRRELY SQUEAKS & CHATTER)
0:39:49 > 0:39:53Merlin, how will we get by?
0:39:53 > 0:39:58Hmm? Oh, well, I suppose we better go back to a side track.
0:40:00 > 0:40:01(CHATTERS)
0:40:01 > 0:40:04Go on, go on, you've got lots of room.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07(CHATTERS SWEETLY)
0:40:07 > 0:40:11Well, I-I-I guess she can't be sidetracked.
0:40:11 > 0:40:15That's a girl squirrel, and a redhead.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15(CHATTERS)
0:40:18 > 0:40:20(GIGGLES)
0:40:23 > 0:40:25(CHATTERS)
0:40:26 > 0:40:29- She sure acts funny. - Oh, she likes you.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31Why?
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Yes, well, that's nature again.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37But there's no time to explain.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Here now, you better leave me out of it.
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Yeah. Me, too.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Merlin, Merlin!
0:40:47 > 0:40:51You're on your own, lad. Magic can't solve this problem.
0:40:51 > 0:40:53(CHATTERS)
0:40:53 > 0:40:58Look, I'm not a boy. I mean, I'm not a squirrel, I'm a boy.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00A human boy, not a real -
0:41:00 > 0:41:05(CHIRPY KISSES)
0:41:02 > 0:41:05Oh, leave me alone.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07(LONGING SIGH)
0:41:07 > 0:41:11Merlin, what'll I do? She won't leave me -
0:41:11 > 0:41:12(CHATTERS)
0:41:12 > 0:41:15I'm afraid you're stuck, lad.
0:41:15 > 0:41:19When a girl squirrel chooses a mate, it's for life.
0:41:19 > 0:41:23But I won't be a squirrel tomorrow.
0:41:21 > 0:41:23She doesn't know that.
0:41:23 > 0:41:27She only knows that you're a him and she's a her.
0:41:27 > 0:41:28(GIGGLES)
0:41:28 > 0:41:30It's a natural phenomenon.
0:41:30 > 0:41:34Phenomenon-enum?
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Well, it's the...
0:41:36 > 0:41:39# It's a state of being A frame of mind
0:41:39 > 0:41:41# It's a most befuddling thing
0:41:41 > 0:41:44# And to every being of every kind
0:41:44 > 0:41:46# It is discombooberating
0:41:46 > 0:41:50# You're wasting time resisting
0:41:50 > 0:41:53# You'll find the more you do
0:41:53 > 0:41:56# The more she'll keep insisting
0:41:56 > 0:41:59# Her him has got to be you
0:41:59 > 0:42:01Now leave me alone. I mean it.
0:42:01 > 0:42:04# It's a rough game, anyone knows
0:42:04 > 0:42:06Go away!
0:42:07 > 0:42:10# There are no rules, anything goes
0:42:10 > 0:42:16# There's no logical explanation For this discombooberation
0:42:16 > 0:42:21# It's a most bemuddling, Most befuddling thing (LAUGHS)
0:42:21 > 0:42:23(GASPS)
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo?
0:42:27 > 0:42:31Now go on, shoo, get a tree of your own. Skidaddle.
0:42:31 > 0:42:33(SQUAWKS)
0:42:41 > 0:42:44(HURLS BIRDY ABUSE)
0:42:48 > 0:42:50(CHATTERS)
0:42:53 > 0:42:56(SQUAWKS)
0:42:56 > 0:42:58I... I... Oh... You...
0:42:58 > 0:43:02Ugh. Oh, you squirrely squirrels.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05Ha-ha, she's gaining on you, Wart.
0:43:05 > 0:43:06(GIGGLES)
0:43:06 > 0:43:12# There's no sensible explanation For this dicombooberation
0:43:12 > 0:43:16# It's a most hodge-podgical Most illogical, most confusing
0:43:16 > 0:43:17# Most bamboozling
0:43:17 > 0:43:21# Most bemuddling Most b-befuddling...
0:43:21 > 0:43:23# Thing... #
0:43:23 > 0:43:24Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo.
0:43:24 > 0:43:27(SPUTTERS) Doh, wha da...
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Really! Now, Miss, er... Madam...
0:43:30 > 0:43:35(FLIRTATIOUS GIGGLE)
0:43:32 > 0:43:35You've... made a mistake. Now, please...
0:43:35 > 0:43:38You... Ooh, madam! Ma-dum!
0:43:38 > 0:43:39(GIGGLES)
0:43:39 > 0:43:41(CHATTERS COYLY)
0:43:41 > 0:43:44Now, look here. I am not a boy.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48I mean I'm not a squirrel, I'm a boy.
0:43:48 > 0:43:52(GIGGLES)
0:43:49 > 0:43:52(PANICKED SQUEALS) Ooh-hoo-hoo!
0:43:52 > 0:43:55I'm a stupid old... Aa-ha-ha! No!
0:43:56 > 0:43:59- I'm an old man. - (CHATTERS)
0:43:59 > 0:44:01An old hu... man!
0:44:01 > 0:44:05Understand?
0:44:02 > 0:44:05(GIGGLES & CHATTERS)
0:44:07 > 0:44:12Hang it all. Now, go away. Shoo, shoo. (GRUNTS)
0:44:12 > 0:44:14(LAUGHS COYLY)
0:44:18 > 0:44:21Impossible. Impossible.
0:44:23 > 0:44:28Oh, confound it, confound it all.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28(GIGGLES)
0:44:29 > 0:44:33I'm tired of being a squirrel. It's trouble.
0:44:33 > 0:44:39You've got trouble? Look at my... Look back there.
0:44:36 > 0:44:39(GIGGLES)
0:44:39 > 0:44:42One side, lad.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42(GIGGLES)
0:44:42 > 0:44:43Whoa...
0:44:43 > 0:44:45Oh, help, Merlin!
0:44:45 > 0:44:47Help!
0:44:52 > 0:44:54(ALARMED SQUEAKS)
0:45:06 > 0:45:08(ANGRY CHATTER)
0:45:12 > 0:45:14Yaow!
0:45:21 > 0:45:23(YELPS & WHIMPERS)
0:45:27 > 0:45:29Aaah!
0:45:34 > 0:45:36(CHATTERS)
0:45:38 > 0:45:42(LOVING CHATTER)
0:45:43 > 0:45:45By George!
0:45:48 > 0:45:52I've had enough of this nonsense.
0:45:49 > 0:45:52(GIGGLES)
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Alakazam!
0:45:54 > 0:45:56Aaaaah!
0:45:56 > 0:46:01There. Now, you see, I'm an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man!
0:46:01 > 0:46:04(SQUEALS / SCOLDS)
0:46:04 > 0:46:07(GROWLS) Woof, woof!
0:46:05 > 0:46:07(YELPS)
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Merlin!
0:46:10 > 0:46:12Oh... (LAUGHS)
0:46:12 > 0:46:14- So, here we are. - Quick, the magic!
0:46:14 > 0:46:17Snick, snack, snorum.
0:46:19 > 0:46:23(LAUGHS) There. Now you see. I'm not a squirrel, I'm a boy.
0:46:23 > 0:46:28(CHOKED SQUEAKS)
0:46:25 > 0:46:28I tried to tell you. I'm a boy.
0:46:28 > 0:46:30A human boy.
0:46:30 > 0:46:31(SNIFFS)
0:46:31 > 0:46:34Oh, if you could only understand.
0:46:34 > 0:46:36(SOBS)
0:46:38 > 0:46:41(HEARTBROKEN SOBS)
0:46:41 > 0:46:43(WRACKED SOBS)
0:46:45 > 0:46:50You know, lad, that love business is a powerful thing.
0:46:50 > 0:46:52(REGRETFUL SIGH)
0:46:52 > 0:46:55Greater than gravity?
0:46:55 > 0:46:57Well, yes, boy, in its way.
0:46:57 > 0:47:03I'd, er... Yes, I'd say it's the greatest force on earth.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05(MOURNFUL SOBS)
0:47:09 > 0:47:14(WAILS) Oh! Oh!
0:47:14 > 0:47:15Ector!
0:47:15 > 0:47:17Sir Ector, the kitchen!
0:47:17 > 0:47:19Hold it, son. Hold it.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22- Black magic all over the place. - Kay!
0:47:22 > 0:47:27Hold on, I say. GARGH!
0:47:28 > 0:47:29(PREENS) Ah. Oh.
0:47:29 > 0:47:33Now, what's all the commotion?
0:47:33 > 0:47:35The kitchen, it's under an evil spell.
0:47:35 > 0:47:39It's bewitched. (WAILS)
0:47:37 > 0:47:39I bet it's that old goat, Marvin.
0:47:39 > 0:47:42Come on, son, I knew he'd give us trouble.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50Gadzooks!
0:47:50 > 0:47:53Black magic of the worst kind.
0:47:53 > 0:47:56Come on, Kay, to the attack.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58Orgh! Oh.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06Hold it.
0:48:12 > 0:48:13Oh!
0:48:13 > 0:48:15Heaven preserve us.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19KAY!
0:48:37 > 0:48:40Now, what have we here?
0:48:38 > 0:48:40Jumpin' hog toads.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43Alakazam!
0:48:46 > 0:48:47(SPUTTERS)
0:48:47 > 0:48:50Oh, there you are, you old goat!
0:48:52 > 0:48:57Well, what's the idea of flinging your evil spells about? (COUGHS)
0:48:57 > 0:48:59Lend me a hand, boy.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06Well, what have you got to say for yourself?
0:49:06 > 0:49:11You call washing dishes and sweeping floors a work of evil?
0:49:11 > 0:49:13I'll decide what's right and wrong.
0:49:13 > 0:49:17(COUGHS) It's the Wart's job, one of his duties.
0:49:17 > 0:49:22And if you want to go to London, you'd better toe the mark.
0:49:22 > 0:49:27You old goat. If I ever catch you in my kitchen again, I'll...
0:49:27 > 0:49:30Madam, you won't.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34Oh, d-dear, he's gone.
0:49:34 > 0:49:36Well, by Jove.
0:49:36 > 0:49:39We oughta run him out of the castle.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41(HUSHED) Oh, no. No, no, Kay, no.
0:49:41 > 0:49:46He might cast an evil spell on us, turn us all to stone. Shh...
0:49:46 > 0:49:49Who knows what the old devil might do?
0:49:49 > 0:49:53He's not an old devil. He... he's good.
0:49:53 > 0:49:55And his magic is good, too.
0:49:55 > 0:49:57If you'd just leave him alone.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00Look here, that's three more demerits.
0:50:00 > 0:50:06Box his ears, Dad.
0:50:02 > 0:50:06Just cos you can't understand it, doesn't mean it's wrong.
0:50:06 > 0:50:10Ten more demerits.
0:50:08 > 0:50:10You make all the rules!
0:50:10 > 0:50:14You've said plenty, boy. You've cooked your goose.
0:50:14 > 0:50:18Kay, from now on young Hobs is your squire.
0:50:18 > 0:50:24Did you hear that, Wart? Hobs will be Kay's squire. (SNIFFS)
0:50:24 > 0:50:29Yes, sir.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29That'll teach you to pop off, ya little pipsqueak.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Oh, I'm sorry, lad.
0:50:43 > 0:50:45Sorry I spoiled everything.
0:50:45 > 0:50:49I know that trip to London meant a great deal to you.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51Oh, it's not your fault.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53I shouldn't have popped off.
0:50:53 > 0:50:58Now I'm really done for.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58No, you're in a great spot.
0:50:58 > 0:51:01You can't go down now. It can only be up from here.
0:51:01 > 0:51:05I'd like to know how.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05Use your head. An education, lad.
0:51:07 > 0:51:12What good will that do?
0:51:09 > 0:51:12Get it first, then who knows?
0:51:12 > 0:51:14Are you willing to try?
0:51:14 > 0:51:17Well, what have I got to lose?
0:51:17 > 0:51:19That's the spirit.
0:51:19 > 0:51:24We'll start tomorrow. We'll show 'em, won't we?
0:51:21 > 0:51:24We sure will.
0:51:25 > 0:51:27Now, first of all, lad,
0:51:27 > 0:51:31we've got to get all these medieval ideas out of your head.
0:51:31 > 0:51:36Clear the way for new ideas. Knowledge of man's discoveries
0:51:36 > 0:51:38in the centuries ahead.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41That'll be a great advantage.
0:51:41 > 0:51:42Advantage?
0:51:42 > 0:51:47If the boy says the world is round, they'll take him for a lunatic.
0:51:47 > 0:51:49The world is round?
0:51:47 > 0:51:49Yes! That's right.
0:51:49 > 0:51:52And it also goes around.
0:51:56 > 0:51:59You mean it'll be round some day?
0:51:57 > 0:51:59No, it's round now.
0:51:59 > 0:52:02Man will discover this in centuries to come.
0:52:02 > 0:52:05He will also find that the world
0:52:05 > 0:52:08is merely a tiny speck in the universe.
0:52:08 > 0:52:10Universe?
0:52:10 > 0:52:12You're confusing the boy.
0:52:12 > 0:52:16You'll have him so mixed up he'll wear his shoes on his head.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18Man has always learned from the past.
0:52:18 > 0:52:23You can't learn history in reverse. It's... confusing enough.
0:52:23 > 0:52:28Alright, have it your way, Archimedes.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31You're in charge. You're the headmaster now.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34So from now on he's your pupil.
0:52:34 > 0:52:35Ahem.
0:52:35 > 0:52:39So, from now on, boy, (COUGHS) you do as I say.
0:52:40 > 0:52:46Yes, sir.
0:52:41 > 0:52:46Alright. To start off I want you to read these books.
0:52:46 > 0:52:50- All of them? - That is a mountain of knowledge.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52But... I can't read.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56What? What, what? Then you can't write?
0:52:56 > 0:52:58- No, sir. - What do you know?
0:52:58 > 0:52:59Well, I...
0:52:59 > 0:53:03Never mind, we'll start at the bottom, the ABCs.
0:53:04 > 0:53:08First the "A" and now the "B".
0:53:08 > 0:53:12Loop and around, and there's a "C".
0:53:12 > 0:53:14Merlin, look! I can write.
0:53:14 > 0:53:19Oh, yes, very good, boy. Very -
0:53:17 > 0:53:19Hen scratch, that's all.
0:53:19 > 0:53:25Now, come on. "D", "E", "F", and now the "G".
0:53:25 > 0:53:27You see it's as simple as...
0:53:27 > 0:53:30No, no, boy! Now use your head, use your head.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32How d'you expect to learn?!
0:53:32 > 0:53:39Archimedes, have you seen that flying-machine, er, model?
0:53:39 > 0:53:43I have nothing to do with your futuristic fiddle-faddle.
0:53:43 > 0:53:45What's that thing up there?
0:53:45 > 0:53:48Hmm? Oh, yes, of course, here we are.
0:53:48 > 0:53:52Do you mean man will fly in one of those some day?
0:53:52 > 0:53:55If man were meant to fly he'd have wings.
0:53:55 > 0:54:00I'll prove otherwise, Archimedes, if you'd care to watch.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03Here she goes.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07Oh, no, no, no, no.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11Ho-ho-ho! Men will fly, alright(!)
0:54:11 > 0:54:13Ho-ho-ho! Just like a rock.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
0:54:16 > 0:54:18It would have worked if, if,
0:54:18 > 0:54:21if it weren't for this infernal beard.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
0:54:24 > 0:54:27(HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER) Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
0:54:28 > 0:54:30(SQUAWKS) Ha-ha-ha!
0:54:32 > 0:54:36(WEAK WITH LAUGHTER) I never in my... Oh, ho-ho...
0:54:36 > 0:54:41(RIOTOUS LAUGHTER)
0:54:41 > 0:54:48Man will fly someday, I tell you. I have been there. I have seen it.
0:54:48 > 0:54:52Oh, I do hope so. I've always dreamed of flying.
0:54:52 > 0:54:56That I was a bird and I could sail all over the sky, above everything.
0:54:56 > 0:55:00Avis, avitis, aviti, avetum. Prestodigitonium.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03It's my favourite dream.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06I suppose everybody dreams about flying.
0:55:07 > 0:55:13I'm a bird, I'm a bird!
0:55:09 > 0:55:13(LAUGHS) Hold it, boy. Not so fast.
0:55:13 > 0:55:18First I'd better explain the mechanics of a bird's wing.
0:55:18 > 0:55:24Now, these large feathers are called the primaries, and -
0:55:24 > 0:55:28Since when do you know all about birds' wings?
0:55:28 > 0:55:32I've made a study of birds in flight and I -
0:55:32 > 0:55:36- And if you don't mind, - I- happen to be a bird.
0:55:36 > 0:55:40Alright, Mister Know-It-All, he's your pupil.
0:55:40 > 0:55:41Ouch.
0:55:41 > 0:55:47Now, boy, flying is not merely some crude mechanical process.
0:55:47 > 0:55:48Ahem!
0:55:48 > 0:55:54It's a delicate art, purely aesthetic, poetry in motion.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56The best way to learn it is to do it.
0:55:56 > 0:56:00Now, since we're pretty far up, we'll start with a glide.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03Spread your wings way out, way out.
0:56:03 > 0:56:07That's it! (LAUGHS) Now fan your tail.
0:56:07 > 0:56:10Tippity toe, tippity toe and off we go!
0:56:13 > 0:56:19Now, tuck your feet under, like me. That's it. That's the idea.
0:56:20 > 0:56:25Wha... What? Whoa!
0:56:22 > 0:56:25And don't fight the air currents. Use them.
0:56:36 > 0:56:40Well, say, boy, that's pretty good.
0:56:40 > 0:56:43Boy, you're a natural. Ho-ho-ho!
0:56:43 > 0:56:46Are you sure this is the first time you...
0:56:46 > 0:56:49Wart! Wart ! Hawk! Hawk!
0:56:49 > 0:56:52Look out, boy, heads up. Wart!
0:56:54 > 0:56:56Archimedes, help!
0:57:01 > 0:57:04Wart! Wart!
0:57:09 > 0:57:11(PANTS)
0:57:13 > 0:57:17Ooh, wha... what? Whoa!
0:57:19 > 0:57:20(COUGHS)
0:57:24 > 0:57:28Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. (GIGGLES)
0:57:28 > 0:57:32I do hope it's serious, something dreadful.
0:57:33 > 0:57:34Oh, bat gizzards!
0:57:34 > 0:57:38It's just a scrawny sparrow, with a beak full of soot.
0:57:38 > 0:57:41Oh, I'm not really a sparrow. I'm a boy.
0:57:41 > 0:57:45A boy?
0:57:42 > 0:57:45Merlin changed me with his magic.
0:57:45 > 0:57:49He's the world's most powerful wizard.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49Merlin?! (LAUGHS)
0:57:49 > 0:57:53Merlin! The world's most powerful bungler.
0:57:53 > 0:57:57Why, boy, I've got more magic in one little finger. (LAUGHS)
0:57:57 > 0:58:01- You've never heard of the- marvellous- Madam Mim?
0:58:01 > 0:58:04Well, no, I don't guess so.
0:58:04 > 0:58:08Madam Mim. Oh, good heavens!
0:58:08 > 0:58:12Why, boy, I'm the greatest. I'm truly marvellous.
0:58:12 > 0:58:17# With only a touch I have the power Zim zaba rim bim
0:58:17 > 0:58:20# To wither a flower... # Ho, ho!
0:58:20 > 0:58:23# I find delight In the gruesome and grim
0:58:23 > 0:58:30Oh, that's terrible.
0:58:25 > 0:58:30Thank you, my boy, but that's nothing for me. (LAUGHS)
0:58:30 > 0:58:35# Cos I'm the magnificent, Marvellous, mad Madam Mim... #
0:58:35 > 0:58:38You know what? I can even change size.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40I can be huge!
0:58:40 > 0:58:43Oh! Fill the whole house.
0:58:44 > 0:58:46# I can be teeny, small as a mouse
0:58:46 > 0:58:50# Black sorcery is my dish of tea #
0:58:50 > 0:58:54Ooh, hoo, hoo! It comes easy to me.
0:58:54 > 0:58:58# Cos I'm the magnificent, Marvellous, mad Madam Mim #
0:58:58 > 0:59:01(JOYOUS CACKLES)
0:59:01 > 0:59:05Marvellous, boy, marvellous. Ooh-hoo!
0:59:07 > 0:59:11Say, did you know I can make myself uglier yet?
0:59:11 > 0:59:15That would be some trick. I mean, er...
0:59:15 > 0:59:17Want a bet? Boo!
0:59:17 > 0:59:18(LAUGHS)
0:59:18 > 0:59:21You see, I win, I win.
0:59:21 > 0:59:24Aren't I hideous, boy? Perfectly revolting?
0:59:24 > 0:59:30Yes, ma'am.
0:59:26 > 0:59:30You ain't seen nothing yet. Watch this.
0:59:31 > 0:59:35# I can be beautiful Lovely and fair
0:59:35 > 0:59:39# Silvery voice Long purple hair
0:59:39 > 0:59:43# La, la, la, la La, la, la, la
0:59:43 > 0:59:47# La, la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, la, la!
0:59:47 > 0:59:51# But it's only skin deep For zim zamberin zim
0:59:51 > 0:59:53(SQUAWKS) # I'm an ugly old creep
0:59:53 > 0:59:59# The magnificent, marvellous Mad, mad, mad Madam Mim! #
0:59:59 > 1:00:02(HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER)
1:00:02 > 1:00:07Now what do you think, boy? Who's the greatest?
1:00:07 > 1:00:11Well, Merlin's magic is always,... well,... useful.
1:00:11 > 1:00:14For something good.
1:00:14 > 1:00:17And he must see something good in you.
1:00:17 > 1:00:21I suppose so.
1:00:18 > 1:00:21Yes, and in my book that's bad.
1:00:21 > 1:00:26So, my boy, I'm afraid I'll have to destroy you.
1:00:26 > 1:00:28D... Destroy me?
1:00:28 > 1:00:30Yeah. I'll give you a sporting chance.
1:00:30 > 1:00:35I'm mad about games, you know. Well, come on, get going, boy.
1:00:35 > 1:00:40You gotta keep on your toes in this game. Oh, ho, ho, ho!
1:00:40 > 1:00:42(MAD LAUGHTER)
1:00:43 > 1:00:45(TAUNTING LAUGHTER)
1:00:45 > 1:00:52(LAUGHS) I win, I win. Oh, the game's over. (LAUGHS)
1:00:53 > 1:00:54Oh!
1:00:54 > 1:00:58Why, you little devil! I'll wring your scrawny neck.
1:00:59 > 1:01:03Mim! Mim! What... are you up to?
1:01:03 > 1:01:07(FLUSTERED) Oh, er, Merlin. Well, you're just in time.
1:01:07 > 1:01:11We were playing a little game.
1:01:09 > 1:01:11She was gonna destroy me.
1:01:11 > 1:01:15And what are you gonna do about it? Want a fight?
1:01:15 > 1:01:18Want to have a wizard's duel?
1:01:18 > 1:01:20As you wish, Madam.
1:01:20 > 1:01:23Well, come on, step outside.
1:01:23 > 1:01:25After you, Madam.
1:01:25 > 1:01:27(MARCHING DRUMS)
1:01:37 > 1:01:40What... What's up, boy? What's going on?
1:01:40 > 1:01:45They're having a wizard's duel. What's that?
1:01:43 > 1:01:45A battle of wits.
1:01:45 > 1:01:49They transform themselves, in an attempt to destroy one another.
1:01:49 > 1:01:51D-destroy?
1:01:51 > 1:01:53Just watch. You'll get the idea.
1:01:56 > 1:02:00Now, first of all, I'll make the rules.
1:02:00 > 1:02:04Rules indeed! She only wants rules so she can break them.
1:02:04 > 1:02:07I'll take care of you later, featherbrain.
1:02:07 > 1:02:11Rule one, no mineral or vegetable. Only animal.
1:02:11 > 1:02:15Rule two, no make-believe things like, er,
1:02:15 > 1:02:17oh, pink dragons and stuff.
1:02:17 > 1:02:21Now, rule three, no disappearing.
1:02:21 > 1:02:23Rule four, no cheating.
1:02:23 > 1:02:26Alright. Now pace off ten.
1:02:27 > 1:02:30One, two, three, four... (CHUCKLES)
1:02:30 > 1:02:35Merlin, she disappeared.
1:02:32 > 1:02:35Mim, you made the rules.
1:02:35 > 1:02:37(LAUGHS)
1:02:40 > 1:02:42(LAUGHS)
1:02:42 > 1:02:44Ouch!
1:02:47 > 1:02:49(LAUGHS)
1:02:49 > 1:02:54Change to something else, Merlin.
1:02:51 > 1:02:54Yes, yes, give me time to think.
1:02:54 > 1:02:55(LAUGHS)
1:02:55 > 1:02:58Higity, pigity... No, no, no...
1:02:58 > 1:02:59Quick!
1:02:59 > 1:03:01Hoppity...
1:03:04 > 1:03:06Here now, Madam, just a minute.
1:03:06 > 1:03:09Er, now, this is... Now, now...
1:03:09 > 1:03:12Hee-hee! Hee-hee-hee!
1:03:14 > 1:03:17Something bigger.
1:03:16 > 1:03:17Smaller!
1:03:17 > 1:03:19Mim, M-Mim, Mim...
1:03:19 > 1:03:23Oh! (ECHOEY LAUGHTER)
1:03:26 > 1:03:29Merlin, no disappearing.
1:03:29 > 1:03:31(PANTS)
1:03:32 > 1:03:34Oh-ho-ho!
1:03:37 > 1:03:39(LAUGHS & CLUCKS)
1:03:44 > 1:03:46Yowch!
1:03:47 > 1:03:49(CLUCKING LAUGHTER)
1:03:51 > 1:03:53Ooh...
1:03:53 > 1:03:55Mim? Mim? Are you...
1:03:55 > 1:04:00What's going on here?
1:03:57 > 1:04:00You, you big blimp.
1:04:02 > 1:04:05(PETRIFIED SCREAM)
1:04:07 > 1:04:09(ROARS)
1:04:10 > 1:04:12(LAUGHS) Squash me, will you?
1:04:17 > 1:04:20Ah-ah-ah-ah, Merlin.
1:04:21 > 1:04:23Ouch! Ooh!
1:04:23 > 1:04:25Bravo! (LAUGHS)
1:04:27 > 1:04:30Just you wait. You're gonna pay.
1:04:31 > 1:04:33Oh...
1:04:34 > 1:04:36(SQUEAKS)
1:04:37 > 1:04:39Aah!
1:04:45 > 1:04:49So, you want to play rough, do you?
1:04:49 > 1:04:51Yow!
1:04:51 > 1:04:56Well, alright, Merlin, I'll smash you good, you old crab.
1:04:56 > 1:04:57Aah...
1:04:57 > 1:04:59Jehoshaphat!
1:04:59 > 1:05:00Yaaaah!
1:05:00 > 1:05:04Here I come, Mim, ready or not.
1:05:05 > 1:05:09(BLEATS)
1:05:06 > 1:05:09You wouldn't dare!
1:05:09 > 1:05:11(SCREAMS)
1:05:19 > 1:05:21M-Mim, no dragons, remember?
1:05:21 > 1:05:26Did I say no purple dragons? Did I?
1:05:35 > 1:05:38Whoo-hoo!
1:05:38 > 1:05:40(LAUGHS)
1:05:40 > 1:05:42I win, I win.
1:05:42 > 1:05:45Oh, that horrible old witch. I'll peck her eyes out.
1:05:45 > 1:05:47No, no.
1:05:47 > 1:05:49(LAUGHS)
1:05:51 > 1:05:53- He's gone. - Disappeared.
1:05:53 > 1:05:57Madam, I have not disappeared. I am very tiny.
1:05:57 > 1:06:03I am a germ, a rare disease. I'm called Malagalitaloptirosus.
1:06:03 > 1:06:06- And- you- caught me, Mim.
1:06:06 > 1:06:07What?!
1:06:07 > 1:06:11Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
1:06:08 > 1:06:11First, you break out into spots.
1:06:13 > 1:06:18Followed by hot and cold flashes. (CHUCKLES)
1:06:18 > 1:06:21Then violent sneezing.
1:06:21 > 1:06:24Aah... Aah... Aah...
1:06:24 > 1:06:27Watch it, boy.
1:06:27 > 1:06:31Oh! You, you... You sneaky old scoundrel.
1:06:31 > 1:06:35(COUGHS & SNEEZES)
1:06:37 > 1:06:40It's not too serious, Madam.
1:06:40 > 1:06:45- You'll recover in a few weeks and be as good, er,... as- bad- as ever.
1:06:45 > 1:06:51I would suggest plenty of rest and lots and lots of sunshine.
1:06:51 > 1:06:54I hate sunshine.
1:06:55 > 1:06:58I hate horrible, wholesome sunshine.
1:06:58 > 1:07:02I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE, HATE...
1:07:03 > 1:07:07You were really great, Merlin. But you could have been killed.
1:07:07 > 1:07:10It was worth it if you learnt something from it.
1:07:10 > 1:07:13Knowledge and wisdom is the real power.
1:07:13 > 1:07:17Right you are, Wart. So, stick to your schooling, boy.
1:07:17 > 1:07:21(EAGER) Don't worry, I will, sir. I really will.
1:07:22 > 1:07:26(MALE VOICES) # We will sing all night and all day
1:07:26 > 1:07:29# We will fight For the blue old tree
1:07:29 > 1:07:30# On the field of white
1:07:30 > 1:07:40# For the blue old tree On the field... of... white! #
1:07:40 > 1:07:42(HEARTY LAUGHTER)
1:07:42 > 1:07:46Here's to victory in London for my son Kay.
1:07:46 > 1:07:50- Sir- Kay. I've been knighted, don't forget.
1:07:50 > 1:07:53Of course, son, of course.
1:07:53 > 1:07:59Here's to Sir Kay. And who knows, the future king of all England!
1:07:59 > 1:08:05Watch it, will ya?
1:08:01 > 1:08:05Kay the King. (SNIFFS) What a dreadful thought.
1:08:05 > 1:08:09Sir Ector! Sir Ector! Hobs has come down with the mumps.
1:08:09 > 1:08:13Face all puffed up like a toad.
1:08:13 > 1:08:18Then Kay'll need another squire, hang it all. Wart, you're it.
1:08:18 > 1:08:22- What, sir? - Kay's squire. You'll go to London.
1:08:22 > 1:08:25Oh, Sir Ector! Wha.. What? Whoa!
1:08:28 > 1:08:31Merlin! Archimedes! Merlin!
1:08:33 > 1:08:37Merlin, look, I'm a squire.
1:08:35 > 1:08:37Ha!
1:08:39 > 1:08:42Oh, er, very nice, boy.
1:08:42 > 1:08:44Yes, indeed(!)
1:08:44 > 1:08:47A fine monkey suit for polishing boots.
1:08:47 > 1:08:50It's... what all the squires wear.
1:08:50 > 1:08:55I thought you'd amount to something, that you had a few brains!
1:08:57 > 1:08:59Great future(!)
1:08:59 > 1:09:03Hah! A stooge for that big lunk Kay.
1:09:03 > 1:09:06Congratulations, boy(!)
1:09:06 > 1:09:10What do you want me to be? I'm nobody.
1:09:10 > 1:09:14You... you don't know a thing about what's going on today.
1:09:14 > 1:09:16I'm lucky to be Kay's squire.
1:09:16 > 1:09:23Oh, of,... of all the idiotic... Blow me to Bermuda!
1:09:31 > 1:09:33Where... Where did he go?
1:09:33 > 1:09:35To Bermuda, I suppose.
1:09:35 > 1:09:40Where's that?
1:09:36 > 1:09:40Oh, an island that hasn't been discovered yet.
1:09:40 > 1:09:45Will he ever come back?
1:09:42 > 1:09:45Who knows? Who knows anything?
1:09:49 > 1:09:55For the crown of all England, let the tournament begin!
1:09:55 > 1:09:57(HORSE WHINNIES)
1:10:11 > 1:10:14(LAUGHS) You see that, Kay?
1:10:14 > 1:10:20Now it's up to the swords.
1:10:16 > 1:10:20Swords? Swords? Oh, no.
1:10:20 > 1:10:22- Kay? - What? What?
1:10:22 > 1:10:25I... forgot your sword.
1:10:25 > 1:10:28Forgot my sword?!
1:10:28 > 1:10:31I... left it back at the inn.
1:10:31 > 1:10:33Why, you bungling little fool.
1:10:33 > 1:10:35Oof!
1:10:35 > 1:10:39You'd better get it or don't you dare come back.
1:10:43 > 1:10:48Let me in, let me in! Somebody, please. Please let me in!
1:10:48 > 1:10:52It's no use. They're at the tournament.
1:10:50 > 1:10:52What'll I do?
1:10:52 > 1:10:54Kay's got to have a sword.
1:10:54 > 1:10:58Well, look boy, look. There in the churchyard.
1:10:58 > 1:11:01A sword! Oh, Archimedes, a sword!
1:11:03 > 1:11:06You'll have a time pulling it out.
1:11:06 > 1:11:08Watch it, boy.
1:11:08 > 1:11:12(HEAVENLY MUSIC & ANGELIC VOICES)
1:11:16 > 1:11:18Better leave it alone.
1:11:18 > 1:11:21But Kay's got to have a sword.
1:11:23 > 1:11:25Come on, quick, let's get out of here.
1:11:28 > 1:11:31You're up next, son. Best get ready.
1:11:31 > 1:11:34Kay, Kay, here's a sword!
1:11:34 > 1:11:39- This is not- my- sword.
1:11:36 > 1:11:39Hold on, Kay, wait a minute.
1:11:39 > 1:11:43"Whoso pulleth out this sword..."
1:11:43 > 1:11:47Oh, it's the sword in the stone.
1:11:47 > 1:11:49The sword in the stone? It can't be.
1:11:49 > 1:11:52- But it is! - The marvellous sword!
1:11:52 > 1:11:58Hold everything! Someone's pulled the sword from the stone.
1:11:58 > 1:12:04Where did you get it?
1:12:00 > 1:12:04I-I pulled it out of an anvil that was on a stone...
1:12:04 > 1:12:06..in-in a churchyard.
1:12:06 > 1:12:08(HEARTY LAUGHTER)
1:12:08 > 1:12:11Very funny!
1:12:09 > 1:12:11The lad's a young Samson.
1:12:11 > 1:12:15You're making a fool of us, boy. Tell the truth!
1:12:15 > 1:12:17But I did, sir.
1:12:17 > 1:12:20Then, prove it. Back to the stone with you.
1:12:20 > 1:12:25(SHOUTS FROM CROWD) Yes, prove it!
1:12:31 > 1:12:35(LAUGHS) Alright, boy, let's have the miracle.
1:12:40 > 1:12:45Wait a minute. Anyone can pull it once it's been pulled.
1:12:47 > 1:12:50Go to it, Kay. Give it all you've got.
1:12:50 > 1:12:52Put your back into it.
1:12:52 > 1:12:57- (UPROAR)- Let me at it.- Me! - Stop pushing!
1:12:57 > 1:13:01Hold on, that's not fair.
1:12:59 > 1:13:01I say we let the boy try.
1:13:01 > 1:13:04Yes, give the boy a chance.
1:13:04 > 1:13:06Go ahead, son.
1:13:11 > 1:13:15(HEAVENLY MUSIC & ANGELIC VOICES)
1:13:19 > 1:13:22It's a miracle, ordained by heaven.
1:13:22 > 1:13:24This boy is our king.
1:13:24 > 1:13:27Well, by Jove.
1:13:27 > 1:13:29What's the lad's name?
1:13:29 > 1:13:32Wart. Oh, I mean Arthur.
1:13:32 > 1:13:34Hail, King Arthur!
1:13:34 > 1:13:38(ALL) Hail, King Arthur! Long live the King!
1:13:38 > 1:13:41(LAUGHS) I can't believe it.
1:13:41 > 1:13:46Oh, forgive me, son. Forgive me.
1:13:46 > 1:13:48Please don't, sir.
1:13:48 > 1:13:51Kay, bow down to your King.
1:13:57 > 1:14:00'So, at last, the miracle had come to pass
1:14:00 > 1:14:03in that far-off time upon New Year's day.'
1:14:03 > 1:14:08'And the glorious reign of King Arthur was begun.'
1:14:11 > 1:14:15(SIGHS) I can't be a king. I don't know how to rule a country.
1:14:15 > 1:14:18I told you to leave the thing in the stone, boy.
1:14:18 > 1:14:22I'll run away, that's what I'll do.
1:14:24 > 1:14:27They'll just have to get somebody else.
1:14:27 > 1:14:30(Better take the side door.)
1:14:34 > 1:14:39(CROWD CHANT) Hail, King Arthur!
1:14:36 > 1:14:39Hoooo!
1:14:39 > 1:14:44There's another door over there. Over there. Come on.
1:14:46 > 1:14:49(CROWD CHANTS) Long live King Arthur!
1:14:49 > 1:14:53Ooh! Looks like we're surrounded, boy.
1:14:53 > 1:14:57Oh, Archimedes, I wish Merlin was here.
1:14:57 > 1:14:59(MAGICAL HARP MUSIC)
1:14:59 > 1:15:02Merlin! Merlin!
1:15:06 > 1:15:08Oh, you're back from Ber... Ber...?
1:15:08 > 1:15:15Bermuda. Yes, back from Bermuda and the 20thC. (LAUGHS)
1:15:15 > 1:15:18And believe me, you can have it.
1:15:18 > 1:15:21One big, modern mess.
1:15:21 > 1:15:24Alakazam!
1:15:24 > 1:15:28I'm in an awful pickle. I'm king.
1:15:25 > 1:15:28He pulled the sword from the stone.
1:15:28 > 1:15:31(LAUGHS) Of course, of course.
1:15:31 > 1:15:35King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table.
1:15:35 > 1:15:39Round table?
1:15:36 > 1:15:39Would you rather have a square one?
1:15:39 > 1:15:41No, round'll be fine.
1:15:41 > 1:15:45Oh-ho-ho! Boy, boy, boy,
1:15:45 > 1:15:47you'll become a great legend.
1:15:47 > 1:15:50They'll write books about you for centuries to come.
1:15:50 > 1:15:53They might even make a motion picture about you.
1:15:55 > 1:15:56Motion picture?
1:15:56 > 1:16:02Oh... Heh-heh-heh. Well, erm, that's something like television.
1:16:02 > 1:16:05(LAUGHS) Without commercials.
1:16:07 > 1:16:10# Hail King Arthur! Long live the King! #