0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11- (APPLAUSE) - Before I start signing these,
0:00:11 > 0:00:14I need to thank somebody who's here tonight.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17When I had her at State - that didn't sound right!
0:00:17 > 0:00:20I never had her. Wanted her, but never had her.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23I meant to say when I took her class at State
0:00:23 > 0:00:27I had the worst case of writer's block in the world.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30All I had were terrible ideas. I hated them.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34I was just about to drop the class when she said something to me
0:00:34 > 0:00:37that changed everything.
0:00:39 > 0:00:43She said, "Terrible ideas are like playground scapegoats.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47"With the right encouragement, they grow up to be geniuses."
0:00:47 > 0:00:51She told me to take one of my terrible ideas and work on it.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Well... I did!
0:00:53 > 0:00:55(ALL LAUGH / APPLAUD)
0:00:55 > 0:00:59Frances Mayes, who loves terrible ideas!
0:00:59 > 0:01:04- May I please French-kiss you now? - (ALL LAUGH) Married, William. Sorry.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- Proud of me? - Ridiculously.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15- These are amazing. What did you do? - Chocolate is timing, my friend.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- The rest is magic. - Hey, Professor.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Where's the wine?
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Tom is one lucky bastard. A literary wife who makes brownies!
0:01:24 > 0:01:28If you tell me you cook in the nude I'll go home and kill myself.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Never. Always in a thong.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34If you knew Frances better, you'd know these are a sign of avoidance.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- Thanks(!) - How's the novel going?
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Not so well, but the procrastination course is doing fabulously.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Soon it will breed abject self-loathing,
0:01:43 > 0:01:47- then I'll be a writing machine. - It's her process.- What about Tom?
0:01:47 > 0:01:51- How's his book going? - Fine. He's home-writing right now.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55- You know Tom? - I met him recently, by coincidence.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Oh? - The other coincidence is that, er,
0:01:58 > 0:02:01- you reviewed a book of mine. - I did?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- Did I like it? - Er, you didn't.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Oh, well, I'm sorry.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I'm sure a lot of other critics loved it,
0:02:09 > 0:02:13and I really hope you didn't take it personally.
0:02:13 > 0:02:18You, er, called my lead character unrealistic.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21I think that bad reviews should just be forgotten.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Give him a brownie.- And I'd like to give you this brownie.
0:02:24 > 0:02:30- It comes in peace.- You said you couldn't get interested in a novel
0:02:30 > 0:02:32where the protagonist was a middle-aged guy
0:02:32 > 0:02:36who spent all his time living out his horny teenage fantasies.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I just...find that ironic.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Ironic? Why?
0:02:44 > 0:02:45Ask your husband.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58What did he just say?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Frances?
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Frances?
0:03:23 > 0:03:27I've got some unfortunate news for you.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I just got off the phone with your husband's attorney,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33and they're going to pursue alimony.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38How can we be talking about alimony
0:03:38 > 0:03:41when I hardly make enough money to, er...?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43But you supported him during the marriage.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Yes, while he was researching and writing his book.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50I worked while he pretended to be.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54- Unfortunately this is just about the math.- He was having an affair.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57California's a no-fault state.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01His attorney says your husband would prefer an alimony buy-out.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04He says the two of you were living rather modestly.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09I don't think the numbers should be too bad, probably something like...
0:04:09 > 0:04:11200,000.
0:04:11 > 0:04:15- I don't have that kind of money! - Unfortunately you do.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18The house...
0:04:18 > 0:04:23- Its value went through the roof since you bought it.- Oh.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26And renovated it with my mother's money.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28It's all community property now.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31(SNIFFS) Mm.
0:04:31 > 0:04:32So he gets...
0:04:32 > 0:04:36half the house...and alimony.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40There's leeway in the numbers. We'll make the all the arguments we can,
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- but there's a bargaining chip. He wants the house.- To live there?
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Yeah.
0:04:46 > 0:04:52And if you let him have it, you could end up with a lot of money.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55I understand he wants it pretty badly.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Oh. Er... Sorry, this is so surreal!
0:04:59 > 0:05:04How... How would he even find the money to buy me out of my house?
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Oh!
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Oh.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16- Well... - Apparently she likes the place.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18It's near the right schools.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Schools?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24She's...?
0:05:32 > 0:05:36You're g... You're going to get over this. You will, Frances.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- Some day you're going to be happy again.- Mmm.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42Mmm.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Right.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47- And your desk? - The desk goes.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51No. The desk can stay.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- The couch? - Yes, please.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Vamos con la sofa, por favor. Y de prisa.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Wait a minute. Er, no. The sofas can stay.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04Esperense, por favor.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- How about the chairs? - They stay, too.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Actually, everything's going to stay except, er...
0:06:14 > 0:06:17..those boxes over there, those three boxes with the books in them...
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- ..if you don't mind. - You sure?
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Yeah. - The bedroom?
0:06:27 > 0:06:28No.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- The kitchen? - No.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Levantense los cartones, por favor.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38So then...we're done?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41We're done.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03You getting a divorce?
0:07:06 > 0:07:07It shows?
0:07:09 > 0:07:12In furnished short-term apartments, that's all we get.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15Your neighbour in 2B, he's an attorney.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18His divorce has been dragging on for three years.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22Nice guy! Gives free legal advice to the other tenants.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25< (SOBBING)
0:07:25 > 0:07:29If his crying gets on your nerves, just bang on the wall. He'll stop.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31'Sorry!'
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Guy upstairs is a doctor. He hands out the sleeping pills.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39- What do you do? - I'm a writer.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43So you can help the others with their suicide notes.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Ah, you're one of those funny landlords.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Not really. I...
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Well, here's your keys.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Have a good stay.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Thanks.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02(SIREN WAILS / TRAFFIC RUMBLES)
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Home.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Ta-dah!
0:08:20 > 0:08:24You start a marriage with cake. You should finish it that way, too!
0:08:24 > 0:08:27The beginning and the end should be fun.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31- Too bad about those pesky years in the middle.- Sorry!
0:08:31 > 0:08:36- Things got crazy at the hospital. - Hi.- Made it in time for a toast.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Bravo!
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- Freedom.- To freedom. - Thanks.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48You're not drinking.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- You're not drinking! - Fifth time's a charm!- Oh, my God!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Patti! When are you due?
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- May. - May! Oh, my God!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02I'm going to be an auntie! (APPLAUSE) I'm going to be an auntie!
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- It changes our plans a bit. - Well, of course.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12We were about to take a ten-day tour to Tuscany,
0:09:12 > 0:09:16- but I don't want Patti flying in her first trimester.- Small sacrifice.
0:09:16 > 0:09:22So we decided to change our coach tickets into an upgraded ticket...
0:09:22 > 0:09:24- for you. - (LAUGHS)
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Oh...
0:09:28 > 0:09:30this is amazing.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Really generous. Thank you.
0:09:33 > 0:09:37- No.- How can you say no to Tuscany?
0:09:37 > 0:09:40No. Like that.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- That's your depression speaking. - Well, it doesn't speak Italian.
0:09:43 > 0:09:48Speaks a little high-school French. Besides, I'm not depressed.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Then, why live with those losers? - Be nice. Those are my people.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- That's not a place you live. - Guys, come on.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Thank you so much.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01There is no way that I can go on a romantic trip to Tuscany right now.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05- I'm not ready to meet anyone. - Oh, you won't, we assure you.- Oh?
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- It's a gay tour of romantic Tuscany. - Oh!
0:10:10 > 0:10:14So it will be relaxing for you. It'll be mostly couples,
0:10:14 > 0:10:16no-one will hit on you or check you out...
0:10:16 > 0:10:20You can just listen to your own inner voice.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24My inner voice? My inner voice that would be saying...
0:10:24 > 0:10:27"What the fuck am I doing on a gay tour of Tuscany?"
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Frances, it's Italy! It-a-ly!
0:10:29 > 0:10:33Plus you could use it as a time to start writing.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Mm. Well, I'm busy.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39- I have to review all those books. - Instead of working on your own.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40Wow.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44A-Are you being mean, or just hormonal?
0:10:44 > 0:10:49- (PAGER BUZZES)- OK. Don't kill each other till I get back.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52(SIGHS)
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Can we please just talk about the baby?
0:10:54 > 0:10:58- I think you're in danger. - Of?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Of never recovering.
0:11:01 > 0:11:06You know when you come across... one of those empty-shell people,
0:11:06 > 0:11:09and you think, "What the hell happened to you?"
0:11:09 > 0:11:12Well, there came a time in each one of those lives
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- where they were standing at a crossroads.- Crossroads?
0:11:16 > 0:11:18God, that is so Oprah!
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Where they had to decide to turn left or right.
0:11:21 > 0:11:25- This is not a time to be a chickenshit!- I'm not!
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- I'm not. - Promise me you'll think about it.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31I'll think about it,
0:11:31 > 0:11:33OK?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36I got a feeling about you.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- You looking for a place to stay? - Yeah.- You getting a divorce?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- What?! - We got short-term apartments,
0:11:42 > 0:11:46but don't worry, some people stay for years. We got a writer,
0:11:46 > 0:11:49a doctor - he could help you out...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51< (SOBBING)
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- HEY! - 'Sorry!'
0:12:01 > 0:12:02OK!
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- 'You want to come over?' - NO!
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Maybe later.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15'(MOANS DISTRAUGHTLY / SOBS)'
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Maybe later...
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- 'Hello?' - Patti...when do I leave?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Hi, everybody. I'm David. This is your driver Eduardo, and you...
0:12:51 > 0:12:56- are gay and away! - (ALL CHEER / WHOOP DELIGHTEDLY)
0:12:56 > 0:13:00And welcome to your first day of a romantic tour of Tuscany.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04I saw most of you hob-nobbing on the plane,
0:13:04 > 0:13:07but I want to make extra sure that you've all met Frances.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- (ALL CHATTER) - Now, Frances is straight,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13and she just survived a terrible divorce.
0:13:13 > 0:13:18Her friend Patti says she really needs our support, so, Frances...
0:13:18 > 0:13:21why don't you stand up and let everyone say hello?
0:13:21 > 0:13:25(ALL) Ah, come on! No...
0:13:25 > 0:13:28- Hi! - Screw the bastard! Have some fun!
0:13:28 > 0:13:32(ALL CHEER)
0:13:32 > 0:13:34OK, everyone! Follow the flower!
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Ugh! God, I cannot believe it's raining!
0:13:38 > 0:13:41OK, everyone! We're here! Yeah!
0:13:41 > 0:13:43- OK! - Oof! Sorry.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56'You're empty! Anyone want more?
0:13:56 > 0:13:58'Whoo! Anyone want more wine?'
0:13:58 > 0:14:01- A little more vino? - (ALL CHATTER)
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Frances, you want more? - Mm-hm.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09You got to loosen up, honey!
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Quanta costa, per favore?
0:14:42 > 0:14:46(ALL CHATTER)
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Buongiorno. - Uno bunch, er...
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- (SPEAKS ITALIAN) - Si.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03(DUCKLINGS PEEP)
0:15:10 > 0:15:13- Sara tre mila. - What?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- Tre mila. - Tre mila!
0:15:16 > 0:15:19(DUCKING PEEPS)
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Pretty awesome, isn't it?
0:15:55 > 0:16:00Yes, I think you could say that. Pretty awesome.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04How am I going to get through these?
0:16:04 > 0:16:06How do you begin to describe all this?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10Well, if you have a pen, I could write it for you.
0:16:10 > 0:16:15- Are you a good writer? - I used to be.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19All right! Well, have a go.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23- Er, to my mom. - "Dear Mom"...
0:16:26 > 0:16:29'Dear Mom,
0:16:29 > 0:16:34'it's market day in Cortona. The piazza is an ongoing party,
0:16:34 > 0:16:37'and everyone is invited.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41'Cliches converge at this navel of the world. You almost want to laugh,
0:16:41 > 0:16:45'but you can't help feeling that these Italians know more about having fun
0:16:45 > 0:16:48'than we do. I eat a hot grape from the market,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52'and the violet sweetness breaks open in my mouth.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54'It even smells purple. I wish I could stay,
0:16:54 > 0:17:00'but the bell of the campanile reminds me of time. "Ding, ding, dong,"
0:17:00 > 0:17:05'the bell says instead of "Ding-dong". Wish you were here.' Love...?
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Er, Rodney.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12Thanks.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20"It even smells purple"? She'll never believe I wrote this!
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Keep it. "Ding, dang, dong goes the bell"!
0:17:25 > 0:17:27I'm sorry!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Bramasole...
0:17:47 > 0:17:51"Bramma-solay"! From "bramare" - "to yearn for",
0:17:51 > 0:17:55and "sole" - "the sun". It's a nice little villa,
0:17:55 > 0:17:58rather run down, but redeemable. Are you going to buy it?
0:17:58 > 0:18:03(LAUGHS) No! No, no, no. I'm... I'm just a tourist. Here for today.
0:18:03 > 0:18:08- So?- Well, who wouldn't want to buy a villa in Tuscany?
0:18:08 > 0:18:12But, er, the way my life's been going...
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- ..it'd be a terrible idea. - Terrible idea.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Mmm.
0:18:19 > 0:18:20And she does love those!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44(SHEPHERDS SHOUT IN ITALIAN)
0:18:47 > 0:18:50- Sorry, everybody! Unscheduled stop. - Sheep.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Stop the bus!
0:19:21 > 0:19:24Stop the bus! (BRAKES HISS)
0:20:00 > 0:20:03(KNOCKS) Hello?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Hello?
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Shit.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23(GASPS)
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Oh, excuse me! Oh, I'm sorry! Scusilo!
0:20:35 > 0:20:39- Can I help you, signora?- Yes. I thought the house was for sale.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42- I didn't make an appointment. - The house is for sale.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46Unfortunately somebody's already buying it.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49We like it very much and will buy today.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Very good. Er, one moment, please.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Excuse me.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Hello. (SPEAKS ITALIAN)
0:21:04 > 0:21:07(BELL TOLLS MUSICALLY) I'm sorry!
0:21:07 > 0:21:09I'm sorry.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11I'm afraid the price has changed.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16It is now 20 million lire more expensive.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18It got more valuable in the last five minutes?!
0:21:18 > 0:21:22The contessa feels she has asked too little since you agreed to buy.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24- That is absurd! - Excuse me?
0:21:24 > 0:21:28Er, what is...the price?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Are you bidding against us?
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- Er... Wait. We accept the new price. - No!
0:21:39 > 0:21:42The contessa says that, er...
0:21:42 > 0:21:45since there is so much interest in the house,
0:21:45 > 0:21:50the price is now double... since the last ten seconds.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55You greedy Americans. You think you're so entitled!
0:21:55 > 0:21:59- You ruin everything.- A lot of us feel really badly about that.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02(IN GERMAN)
0:22:10 > 0:22:14- Is it really double the price? - (TRANSLATES)
0:22:16 > 0:22:20I can't pay double the price.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21But...
0:22:21 > 0:22:24please tell the contessa that...
0:22:24 > 0:22:28this is what I got for my house recently, in dollars...
0:22:28 > 0:22:30(TRANSLATES)
0:22:31 > 0:22:34..minus the work on the place...
0:22:34 > 0:22:35Er...
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Hammers, buckets...
0:22:39 > 0:22:42..men... (chocolate)...
0:22:45 > 0:22:47..and a rental car to drive off a cliff
0:22:47 > 0:22:50when this turns out to have been a terrible mistake.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- That's what I can pay. - Signora...
0:22:55 > 0:22:58- ..you have not even seen the house. - Oh!
0:23:00 > 0:23:01Well...
0:23:03 > 0:23:07Well, I, er...
0:23:07 > 0:23:10..I...I can't go back to San Francisco.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Er... no.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16- No. - I'm sorry, signora.
0:23:16 > 0:23:20The contessa's family have lived here for generations, so...
0:23:20 > 0:23:24understandably it is very difficult for her to sell.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Money is not the only issue. She needs...
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Un segno di Dio! Un segno!
0:23:29 > 0:23:34A sign. I understand. I believe in signs, too.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39- Well, thank you. Thank you. - Prego.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48- Oh! - Oh...- (LAUGHS RUEFULLY)
0:23:48 > 0:23:52- Please...- Il segno di Dio! Il segno, il segno!
0:23:52 > 0:23:55- What's she saying? - (CHATTERS EXCITEDLY)
0:23:55 > 0:23:59- In Italy, what happened just now is a very good sign.- It is?
0:24:02 > 0:24:06'Open an account and we'll transfer the money.'
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- Here is the legal description of the land. Two oxen, two days.- Sorry?
0:24:10 > 0:24:13It's old-fashioned. The land is measured by how long it would take
0:24:13 > 0:24:17- two oxen to plough it. - Oh. Oh, that makes sense.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Just like that? Before the money's been transferred?
0:24:28 > 0:24:32It's a house. What are you going to do? Steal it?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Besides... Signor Martini likes you.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53OK! We'll take care of the rest later. Normale.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- Normale? - Normale.- Normale.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02'I have bought a house in a foreign country,
0:25:02 > 0:25:06'a house and the land it takes two oxen two days to plough.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10'Not having a plough or an ox, I'll have to take their word on that.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14'Buyer's remorse is a common affliction among new homeowners.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18'Just because you have an acid stomach and an urge to weep
0:25:18 > 0:25:22'doesn't mean you've made a mistake. Old houses have their quirks...
0:25:24 > 0:25:27'..especially 300-year-old houses.
0:25:28 > 0:25:32'I have inherited 10,000 empty wine bottles,
0:25:32 > 0:25:35'one grape,
0:25:35 > 0:25:38'every issue of La Nazione printed in 1958,
0:25:38 > 0:25:41'and assorted previous tenants.'
0:25:42 > 0:25:45(SQUELCH!) Ugh! (SHRIEKS)
0:25:46 > 0:25:48(SCREAMS)
0:25:53 > 0:25:56(CHILD WAILS)
0:25:57 > 0:26:01'The trick to overcoming buyer's remorse is to have a plan.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05'Take one room and make it yours.
0:26:05 > 0:26:10'Go slowly through the house. Be polite. Introduce yourself,
0:26:10 > 0:26:12'so it can introduce itself to you.'
0:26:16 > 0:26:20You did what?! Frances bought a house in Tuscany!
0:26:20 > 0:26:25- And you're going to live there alone?! - I'm not alone. I'm with bugs.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- 'Ew!'- How's the belly? - It's, it's growing.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31- I can't believe you did this! - (LAUGHS)- 'Did you already sign?'
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Yes!
0:26:33 > 0:26:37- Why? - 'Er...'- You think I shouldn't have?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40- 'Are you saying I made a mistake?' - I dunno. Did you?
0:26:40 > 0:26:45I dunno! You're the one who made the empty-shell-person speech!
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Oh, yeah. That was me. O-OK!
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Wow! So you bought a villa in Tuscany!
0:26:50 > 0:26:54- 'What's the place like?' - It needs some work.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Well, who's going to do it? - 'I am.'- You?!
0:26:56 > 0:27:00- 'I never realised you were handy.' - I can do things!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- 'I fixed that drain.' - In your kitchen? No, that was me.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07- I handed you the rubber thingy. - The plunger? That was Tom!
0:27:09 > 0:27:12I can't believe it. Why... Why did you say his name?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15I'm sorry. I-I forgot. I'm sorry.
0:27:15 > 0:27:20I can make this work. I'm not going to do all the work myself.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24I'm in Italy. I can hire the muscular descendants of Roman gods
0:27:24 > 0:27:27- to do the heavy lifting.- 'Just supervise. Tell them what to do.'
0:27:27 > 0:27:31- So have you met him yet? - 'Er...who?'
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- The guy you're going to meet. - Patti, please.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38You know what? It's starting to rain here a little bit,
0:27:38 > 0:27:41- so I think I have to go. - 'Wait. Fran...'
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- Kiss the belly for me, OK? - Fran!- 'Bye-bye.'
0:27:44 > 0:27:48- (DIALLING TONE) - Can you star-69 Italy?
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- No. - I'm going to try.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- Hello? - (THUNDER BOOMS)
0:27:59 > 0:28:01(PANTS) OK...
0:28:11 > 0:28:15One one thousand, two... (THUNDER ROARS) Jesus!
0:28:15 > 0:28:19(SINGS TUNE FROM 1812 OVERTURE WITH DESPERATE CHEERINESS)
0:28:58 > 0:29:01Stop it! (SCREECHING)
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Oh, my God... Oh, my God!
0:29:08 > 0:29:12You're going to be OK. You're safe here.
0:29:12 > 0:29:16Just don't fly around, OK? You'll freak me out.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19(THUNDER ROARS) (SOBS) (OWL SCREECHES)
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Oh, God...
0:29:28 > 0:29:31(BIRDS SING)
0:29:32 > 0:29:35- Signora? - (GENTLE KNOCKING)
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Signora Mayes?
0:29:37 > 0:29:39Buongiorno.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45- I see you have survived the storm. - I'm alive...
0:29:45 > 0:29:49but the, er... the washing machine is dead.
0:29:49 > 0:29:51Yes. It is electrocuted.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54I am happy to see that you are not.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00You, er...you came to check on me?
0:30:00 > 0:30:05You're meeting the contractors today and I came to help you.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07- One of them is already here. - Here?
0:30:07 > 0:30:09Downstairs.
0:30:15 > 0:30:16Oh...
0:30:18 > 0:30:20He's here.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23I was hoping to take this wall down
0:30:23 > 0:30:27- and turn these two small rooms into one big room.- Oh, wonderful.
0:30:27 > 0:30:32You should have been an architect. You have excellent taste.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35So do you think it can be done?
0:30:35 > 0:30:39Heating pipes, a week. The bathrooms, three days.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Signora, give me the keys of this place
0:30:42 > 0:30:46and in a month I will give you back the keys to your palace.
0:30:46 > 0:30:47Just, er...
0:30:49 > 0:30:52just leave it to me.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55(SIGHS / BEGINS TO RANT IN ITALIAN)
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Oh, boom! Boom! Boom!
0:31:07 > 0:31:09Oh! Andiamo!
0:31:11 > 0:31:13(THUMP!)
0:31:18 > 0:31:23- (SPEAKS ITALIAN)- He says he fixed it himself many years ago.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25Really?
0:31:25 > 0:31:27Want to see the rest of the house?
0:31:28 > 0:31:30OK! Yes!
0:31:31 > 0:31:33(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
0:31:34 > 0:31:38- He suggests he rebuild the wall. - (SPEAKS ITALIAN)
0:31:38 > 0:31:42It is important for the structure of the garden.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45- (SPEAKS ITALIAN) - He has a team of experts.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47(WHISTLES)
0:31:53 > 0:31:56- Buongiorno. - Hallo, miss.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59We are not Italian. We are from Polonia.
0:31:59 > 0:32:04- Poland? Oh. Do you all speak English? - Only me, and only a little.
0:32:04 > 0:32:08- I am Pawel! - Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12- Buongiorno. - Jerzy.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Hello.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Zbignew.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Zbignew...
0:32:22 > 0:32:24Frances.
0:32:26 > 0:32:29- What do you think of Nino? - I know his mother.
0:32:29 > 0:32:31If he does a bad job, it's...
0:32:31 > 0:32:33Well, then...
0:32:33 > 0:32:36OK! Yes!
0:32:36 > 0:32:39OK, yes? Yes? Yes.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48OK. Yes!
0:33:09 > 0:33:12(LAUGHS) See, Frances? No problem!
0:33:12 > 0:33:14(RUMBLING)
0:33:16 > 0:33:18Nino?! Oh, God!
0:33:20 > 0:33:23(ALL YELL IN TERROR)
0:33:23 > 0:33:25(CRASHING)
0:33:25 > 0:33:27(RUMBLING)
0:33:27 > 0:33:30(RUMBLING SLOWLY FADES TO SILENCE)
0:33:30 > 0:33:33(TOTAL SILENCE)
0:33:35 > 0:33:40(RUMBLING / CRASHING / METALLIC CLANG OF BELLS FALLING)
0:33:43 > 0:33:46(COUGHS)
0:33:46 > 0:33:48OK! Yes!
0:33:59 > 0:34:02(ALL BEGIN TO LAUGH)
0:34:04 > 0:34:06Kurva mach!
0:34:06 > 0:34:10'Kurva mach means "holy shit" in Polish. I learned that that day.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14'The fact that I'm trying to speak Polish in Italy
0:34:14 > 0:34:17'is just one of the many surprises around here.'
0:34:22 > 0:34:27- Is he a licensed electrician? - No, a licensed literatura professor.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35Czeslaw Milosz.
0:34:36 > 0:34:39I like him... Czeslaw Milosz.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48'It is only natural that getting to know people should take some time.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54'Every day I watch for the old man with the flowers...
0:34:59 > 0:35:01'..and I wonder,
0:35:01 > 0:35:03'was he born here?'
0:35:03 > 0:35:08'Did he love someone here? Did he lose someone here?
0:35:16 > 0:35:20'He doesn't seem as curious about me, but that's all right.
0:35:20 > 0:35:24'These days I'm something of a loner myself.
0:35:28 > 0:35:31'I'm pretty good at staying entertained!
0:35:31 > 0:35:33'I like to hang out at a little bar
0:35:33 > 0:35:36'conveniently located in my back yard.
0:35:36 > 0:35:41'Fortunately there are some things here you just can't do alone.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44'My neighbour Placido is teaching me about olives.'
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Today is OK, but never pick when is wet, huh?
0:35:49 > 0:35:52These look good.
0:35:55 > 0:35:59- Ugh! Oh, my God... - Papa!- Si?
0:36:01 > 0:36:04OK.
0:36:04 > 0:36:06(BOTH CHATTER IN ITALIAN)
0:36:20 > 0:36:22- Cara? - Si?
0:36:24 > 0:36:26OK.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32Ciao!
0:36:32 > 0:36:34- (GASPS) - Oops!
0:36:37 > 0:36:41Si... Grazie.
0:36:46 > 0:36:49Francesca, are you busy tonight?
0:36:49 > 0:36:53- No.- Then, come to dinner. It's unhealthy to eat alone.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04(ALL CHATTER IN ITALIAN / LAUGH)
0:37:11 > 0:37:12(SOBS)
0:37:15 > 0:37:17- Is she OK? - She's fine.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31Are we celebrating something in particular tonight?
0:37:31 > 0:37:34Gratitude to the saints for saving us from droughts,
0:37:34 > 0:37:37- mad dogs and glandular disorders. - (ALL LAUGH)
0:37:40 > 0:37:44- Katherine! Your hat... - You like it?
0:37:44 > 0:37:48I suppose it wasn't such a terrible idea after all, buying a villa.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51Are you up there all alone? No lord and master, no consort?
0:37:51 > 0:37:54No. Do you have one?
0:37:54 > 0:37:56One?! Hah!
0:37:59 > 0:38:02- (SOBS) - (SIGHS)
0:38:02 > 0:38:05I told you this would happen. Remember?
0:38:05 > 0:38:08Don't blame me. I told him not to get her that computer.
0:38:08 > 0:38:12She got an e-mail lover, you see? From Ecuador!
0:38:12 > 0:38:15Finally she had to tell him her age.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28I'm so sorry.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32(CHUCKLES)
0:38:32 > 0:38:35- Amore! - Si.
0:38:35 > 0:38:38- Terribile, huh? - Si.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- (SPEAKS ITALIAN) - Hmm?
0:38:41 > 0:38:43(SPEAKS ITALIAN) ..celibe?
0:38:43 > 0:38:47Celib... Celibate?
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Celibate?! No! (LAUGHS)
0:38:51 > 0:38:53No. I mean... (LAUGHS)
0:38:53 > 0:38:58Well, er...actually, I have to admit it has been a while.
0:38:58 > 0:39:04Celibe in Italian means single. He's not asking when you last had sex.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08- He's asking whether or not you're married.- (Oh... Thank you.)
0:39:08 > 0:39:11- (CLEARS THROAT) No. - Ah!- I'm not.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19He is.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25Oh, my God.
0:39:25 > 0:39:29- I feel like such an idiot. - Don't. Flirting's a ritual in Italy.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32Just enjoy it. Taste this! It's gorgeous.
0:39:34 > 0:39:35Mmm!
0:39:35 > 0:39:39- (LAUGHS) How do you do it? - Do what?
0:39:39 > 0:39:41This.
0:39:41 > 0:39:42Well...
0:39:42 > 0:39:46hats make me happy. And ice cream.
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Ice cream changed my fate.
0:39:48 > 0:39:53It was because of ice cream that my beloved FeFe discovered me!
0:39:53 > 0:39:55- FeFe? - Il maestro!
0:39:55 > 0:39:59- Who? - Federico, darling!
0:39:59 > 0:40:01Fellini?!
0:40:01 > 0:40:04He discovered me in the Piazza Navona with my parents,
0:40:04 > 0:40:08eating an ice cream. I was gobbling it down,
0:40:08 > 0:40:12because I was very hungry. "Do you like ice cream?" he asked me.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15I didn't know who he was! I was 16.
0:40:15 > 0:40:20"You are my imagination come to life," he told me.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25He wasn't just a great director. He gave great advice.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28I'm listening!
0:40:28 > 0:40:31FeFe said, "You have to live spherically,
0:40:31 > 0:40:36"in many directions. Never lose your childish enthusiasm,
0:40:36 > 0:40:39"and things will come your way."
0:40:45 > 0:40:48'So now I was getting posthumous advice from il maestro.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51'I tried to follow it by pulling ivy,
0:40:51 > 0:40:54'spherically and with childish enthusiasm.'
0:40:56 > 0:40:58(Oh, my God...)
0:41:12 > 0:41:15Niente. Not in here.
0:41:20 > 0:41:22Would you look under the bed?
0:41:29 > 0:41:31Would you look under the pillow?
0:41:36 > 0:41:38(GASPS) No, it was a joke!
0:41:43 > 0:41:48Maybe he moved out already. Snakes are famous for changing their minds.
0:41:53 > 0:41:57What am I doing all by myself?
0:41:57 > 0:42:02Don't you think it's strange... me in this big house?
0:42:02 > 0:42:04Excuse me.
0:42:04 > 0:42:05I'm sorry!
0:42:14 > 0:42:16You are cold.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18Thank you.
0:42:28 > 0:42:32Do you know what the most surprising thing about divorce is?
0:42:32 > 0:42:34It doesn't actually kill you,
0:42:34 > 0:42:39like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck...
0:42:39 > 0:42:41It should.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part
0:42:47 > 0:42:52says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
0:42:52 > 0:42:56You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after something like that,
0:42:56 > 0:42:59trying to understand how in the world you didn't know.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03The light just never went on, you know? I must have known,
0:43:03 > 0:43:08of course, but I was too scared to see the truth.
0:43:08 > 0:43:12And fear just makes you so stupid.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15No, it's not stupid, Signora Mayes.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17L'amore e cieco.
0:43:17 > 0:43:21"Love is blind"? Yeah, we have that saying, too.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24Everybody has that saying because is true everywhere.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29I don't want to be blind anymore.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31This house has three bedrooms.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34What if there's never anyone to sleep in them?
0:43:34 > 0:43:37And the kitchen... What if there's never anyone to cook for?
0:43:37 > 0:43:41I do, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking, "You idiot!
0:43:41 > 0:43:44"You're the stupidest woman in the world!
0:43:44 > 0:43:47"You bought a house for a life you don't even have."
0:43:49 > 0:43:52Why did you do it, then?
0:43:57 > 0:44:01Because I'm sick of being afraid all the time. I still want things.
0:44:01 > 0:44:06I...want...a wedding in this house.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08I want a family in this house.
0:44:14 > 0:44:15Signora,
0:44:15 > 0:44:19between Austria and Italy there is a section of the Alps
0:44:19 > 0:44:23called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep,
0:44:23 > 0:44:27high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps
0:44:27 > 0:44:31to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks
0:44:31 > 0:44:34before there was a train in existence that could make the trip.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40They built it because they knew some day...the train would come.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04I think your snake has gone for the evening.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07Yes. I think you're right.
0:45:14 > 0:45:15Senora...
0:45:16 > 0:45:19..please, don't be so sad.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24If you continue like this I'll be forced to make love to you,
0:45:24 > 0:45:27and I've never been unfaithful to my wife.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36(BOTH LAUGH)
0:45:40 > 0:45:43- Buona notte, Signora. - Buona notte, Signor Martini,
0:45:43 > 0:45:45e grazie tanto.
0:45:46 > 0:45:47Prego.
0:45:57 > 0:46:01'The train track through the Alps before there was a train...
0:46:01 > 0:46:05'Signor Martini wants me to have faith, which I've never been good at,
0:46:05 > 0:46:09'and I'm even worse since last year. Not that I don't want faith -
0:46:09 > 0:46:14'I'm jealous of the believers - but as a fallen-away Methodist,
0:46:14 > 0:46:17'I do not expect to emerge from all this a Catholic,
0:46:17 > 0:46:21'although some interior juggling is going on. To my surprise,
0:46:21 > 0:46:25'I've become friendly with Mary since she stood by me through the storm,
0:46:25 > 0:46:28'knowing I'm not a Catholic.
0:46:28 > 0:46:33'Yet somehow she seems more like my favourite aunt than Santa Maria.
0:46:34 > 0:46:39'Aunt Mary is everywhere here, her calm presence assuring us
0:46:39 > 0:46:43'that all things will go on as they have before.'
0:46:43 > 0:46:46(CHILDREN SING "O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL" IN ITALIAN)
0:46:58 > 0:47:02- (LAUGHS) - Buon natale.- Buon natale!
0:47:02 > 0:47:06This is my wife Lara, my son... my daughter, Stella.
0:47:06 > 0:47:10Stella... Buon natale.
0:47:12 > 0:47:18- A beautiful family. Wow! - I thought I might see you. I have a small gift for you.
0:47:18 > 0:47:19Oh!
0:47:21 > 0:47:24It is San Lorenzo, the patron saint of cooks.
0:47:24 > 0:47:28He was martyred on a grill and seared until he said,
0:47:28 > 0:47:31- "Turn me over. I'm done on this side."- No!
0:47:31 > 0:47:34- Now he is the favourite saint of chefs.- Oh...!
0:47:34 > 0:47:40I think if you pray to him, he will help you find someone to cook for.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42Thank you, Signor Martini.
0:47:52 > 0:47:55- Merry Christmas, Signora Mayes. - Buon natale.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00Andiamo.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15'My prayers to San Lorenzo were quickly answered.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19'I realised I had already had someone to cook for...
0:48:19 > 0:48:22'plenty of someones!'
0:48:31 > 0:48:34(LIVELY ITALIAN-STYLE INCIDENTAL MUSIC)
0:48:43 > 0:48:48(DIALOGUE UNDER INCIDENTAL MUSIC)
0:49:05 > 0:49:08(UNDER INCIDENTAL MUSIC)
0:49:21 > 0:49:24- Bravo! - Ohhh!
0:49:26 > 0:49:30- Bravo! Bravo! - (SHRIEKS)
0:49:31 > 0:49:34(CONJUGATES ITALIAN VERB)
0:49:36 > 0:49:39- Good! - See, Frances? Italian is easy!
0:49:39 > 0:49:44(DIALOGUE DUBBED INTO ITALIAN)
0:49:44 > 0:49:46(ALL LAUGH)
0:50:04 > 0:50:06(Have you talked to her yet?)
0:50:09 > 0:50:13Si. I have talked to her.
0:50:13 > 0:50:16Why don't you go sit next to her? Go on!
0:50:21 > 0:50:24(DIALOGUE AND MUSIC CONTINUE NOISILY)
0:50:26 > 0:50:28(KIDS LAUGH / CHATTER / SHOUT)
0:50:40 > 0:50:42Katherine?
0:50:45 > 0:50:48Francesca! Come up! I'm having my portrait painted.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53- Katherine? - Come through. I'm in here.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06Oh...
0:51:09 > 0:51:12- I think I'll come back another time. - Why? You don't bother me.
0:51:12 > 0:51:16Frances...this is Zeus.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18He's an art student from Macedonia.
0:51:18 > 0:51:23He's staying with me to study the Tuscan light. More vino, darling.
0:51:31 > 0:51:33He's not bad.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36He's not good, either. (CHUCKLES)
0:51:37 > 0:51:41Look, I'm going to go... but I'll come back. Another time.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44Ohhh, you're so BORING!
0:51:44 > 0:51:46- What? - I said you're boring!
0:51:46 > 0:51:49Look at you! You're sad...
0:51:49 > 0:51:51again!
0:51:51 > 0:51:54You're like a big...black...hole!
0:51:54 > 0:51:57- Excuse me, but I... - FeFe always said,
0:51:57 > 0:52:00"Regrets are a waste of time."
0:52:00 > 0:52:02They're the past crippling you in the present.
0:52:02 > 0:52:06I just got here. I just walked in the door.
0:52:06 > 0:52:10How are you ever going to be happy if you keep wallowing?
0:52:10 > 0:52:12Listen.
0:52:12 > 0:52:16When I was a little girl, I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs.
0:52:16 > 0:52:20Finally I'd just give up and fall asleep in the grass.
0:52:20 > 0:52:24When I woke up, they were crawling all over me.
0:52:24 > 0:52:26So?!
0:52:26 > 0:52:30So go work on your house... and forget about it!
0:52:30 > 0:52:33I said go!
0:52:33 > 0:52:35I'm going!
0:52:39 > 0:52:43'Work on house and forget about it.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46'Gee, why hadn't I thought of that(?)
0:52:46 > 0:52:49'There comes a time in every remodeller's life
0:52:49 > 0:52:52'when one just doesn't want any more helpful advice.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56'You don't want shaky guys staring at you
0:52:56 > 0:52:59'thinking God knows what, whispering things in Polish
0:52:59 > 0:53:02'you're really glad you don't understand.'
0:53:02 > 0:53:05'(MIMICS HIS FERVID WHISPERING)'
0:53:05 > 0:53:07'There's only so much of that you can take
0:53:07 > 0:53:10'before you really just have to get out.'
0:53:40 > 0:53:43(ALL COMMENT ADMIRINGLY IN ITALIAN)
0:53:44 > 0:53:47- Signorina! - (LAUGHS)- Mmm...
0:53:47 > 0:53:50Bella, bella...
0:53:51 > 0:53:54Hilarious(!)
0:53:54 > 0:53:56Bye!
0:53:56 > 0:53:59(ALL CHATTER IN ITALIAN)
0:53:59 > 0:54:01(ALL CHATTER)
0:54:10 > 0:54:12- English?! - Irish?!
0:54:14 > 0:54:17There you are. I've been looking for you.
0:54:17 > 0:54:21You said you were going to meet me. I've been looking for you for 20 minutes.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24- Who are you? - I'm sorry. Excuse. Thank you.
0:54:24 > 0:54:28Wait, you just kissed me and now you are going?
0:54:28 > 0:54:30Yes. I'm sorry.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34OK.
0:54:42 > 0:54:45(CHUCKLES)
0:54:45 > 0:54:48(WHISTLES)
0:54:58 > 0:55:00- You are too late. - I'm sorry.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02I've already found somebody else.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07My loss.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10I was wondering if you'd help me.
0:55:10 > 0:55:13I'm trying to find an antique store that sells replacement parts
0:55:13 > 0:55:16- for a chandelier. - Chandelier?
0:55:16 > 0:55:18- Vetria.- Vetreria. - Vetreria!
0:55:18 > 0:55:22- OK.- Yes. Via de la Casanova.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25- Si, Via de la Casanova. Si. - You know it?
0:55:25 > 0:55:29- No.- Oh. - I know where there is another store.
0:55:29 > 0:55:32- My cousin owns one. - He owns a vetreria?
0:55:32 > 0:55:35- Yes. Antiques. - Is it far?
0:55:35 > 0:55:39About three hours. Two if I drive fast.
0:55:39 > 0:55:40Two hours?
0:55:40 > 0:55:43OK, one
0:55:43 > 0:55:46if I drive really, really, really fast.
0:55:46 > 0:55:48That's, er, very nice,
0:55:48 > 0:55:51but thank you, no.
0:55:51 > 0:55:53I know,
0:55:53 > 0:55:56you think, maybe, I'm just trying to pull you up.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59Pull me up?
0:55:59 > 0:56:01Pick me up. Pick me up.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03Yes, there is that chance.
0:56:03 > 0:56:08But you are the one who grabbed me and pretend I'm your husband.
0:56:08 > 0:56:10You are probably one of those crazy American women
0:56:10 > 0:56:15and maybe you are going to kung fu me in the head and steal my car,
0:56:15 > 0:56:17but I'm willing to take the chance.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20You're willing?
0:56:20 > 0:56:22What is your name?
0:56:22 > 0:56:26- Marcello. - Of course it is.
0:56:28 > 0:56:32- (WHEELS SCREECH) - (SPEAKS ITALIAN)
0:56:32 > 0:56:35- Do traffic lights mean anything here?- Sure.
0:56:35 > 0:56:38- Green light - avanti. - Avanti.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41- Yellow light - decoration. - And what about red lights?
0:56:41 > 0:56:43Just a suggestion.
0:57:16 > 0:57:20- He says he doesn't have it. - Why am I not surprised?
0:57:38 > 0:57:41- This is your bar. - We are a family.
0:57:41 > 0:57:44I work here and I sleep there.
0:57:44 > 0:57:47Above my cousin's antique store.
0:57:47 > 0:57:50(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
0:57:50 > 0:57:54- Did you ever taste this?- What is it? - It's limoncello.
0:57:54 > 0:57:57- We make this. - You made it?- Yes.
0:57:57 > 0:58:01We take the lemon and we, er, take off the skin of the lemon.
0:58:01 > 0:58:04We put in the bottle
0:58:04 > 0:58:07with three quarter of alcohol and one quarter of sugar.
0:58:10 > 0:58:11And, erm...
0:58:13 > 0:58:15..and you put the skin of the lemon
0:58:15 > 0:58:19in the bottle and you leave it
0:58:19 > 0:58:21until it's the right colour.
0:58:23 > 0:58:24And, erm...
0:58:27 > 0:58:28..I forget the rest.
0:58:28 > 0:58:31But just try it.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40- Do you like it? - I like it.
0:58:46 > 0:58:50- My nephew. - Yes.
0:59:19 > 0:59:21(SQUEAKING) >
0:59:23 > 0:59:25Hello.
0:59:25 > 0:59:27Well, hello.
0:59:27 > 0:59:30(KITTEN SQUEAKS) Hello.
0:59:30 > 0:59:32Oh.
0:59:32 > 0:59:34Ciao.
0:59:36 > 0:59:37(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
0:59:41 > 0:59:43What?
0:59:43 > 0:59:47- He says, "Take me home with you." - Oh, he does, does he?
0:59:49 > 0:59:51Ciao. Ciao.
1:00:02 > 1:00:05I run into you in the street in Rome
1:00:05 > 1:00:07and now we're here.
1:00:07 > 1:00:10Didn't you have some plans today?
1:00:13 > 1:00:15So what?
1:00:15 > 1:00:18If you smash in to something good,
1:00:18 > 1:00:21you...should hold on
1:00:21 > 1:00:23until it's time to let go.
1:00:25 > 1:00:27And now's not the time.
1:00:29 > 1:00:32Not in my opinion. No.
1:00:37 > 1:00:40You have beautiful eyes, Francesca.
1:00:41 > 1:00:44I wish I could swim inside them.
1:00:47 > 1:00:49(LAUGHS)
1:00:49 > 1:00:51- What? - No, it's just...
1:00:51 > 1:00:56That's exactly what American women think Italian men say,
1:00:56 > 1:00:58I guess.
1:01:01 > 1:01:03Thank you.
1:01:08 > 1:01:11Marcello, I'm sorry.
1:01:11 > 1:01:13I'm so sorry.
1:01:13 > 1:01:15I'm sorry,
1:01:15 > 1:01:17I'm really nervous, you know?
1:01:17 > 1:01:20I was married for a long time
1:01:20 > 1:01:23and since then there hasn't been anybody.
1:01:28 > 1:01:30Would you like to help me change that?
1:01:34 > 1:01:37You are asking me to sleep with you?
1:01:37 > 1:01:39Yes.
1:01:42 > 1:01:46That is the kind of thing Italian men think American women say.
1:01:46 > 1:01:48(LAUGHS)
1:01:48 > 1:01:50Yeah.
1:01:52 > 1:01:54You honour me with your offer.
1:02:38 > 1:02:40Francesca.
1:02:40 > 1:02:42Yes?
1:02:45 > 1:02:48I'm going to make love all over you.
1:02:48 > 1:02:50OK.
1:03:12 > 1:03:16(MARCELLO SINGS IN ITALIAN)
1:03:24 > 1:03:29(CONTINUES TO SING)
1:03:41 > 1:03:43Mamma mia.
1:03:43 > 1:03:46(BOTH SPEAK ITALIAN)
1:03:51 > 1:03:53What do you call this?
1:03:53 > 1:03:57- La gola. - La gola.- Uh-huh.
1:03:57 > 1:03:59And this?
1:03:59 > 1:04:02Il capezzolo.
1:04:02 > 1:04:04- Il capezzolo.- Uh-huh.
1:04:04 > 1:04:06And this?
1:04:09 > 1:04:11Esausto.
1:04:11 > 1:04:13- Exhausted? - Exhausted.
1:04:13 > 1:04:16At least for the next five minutes.
1:04:17 > 1:04:19OK.
1:04:23 > 1:04:25Me too.
1:04:28 > 1:04:32- It's terrible that you bought a villa in Cortona.- Why?
1:04:34 > 1:04:38Because it's not in Positano... and I am.
1:04:41 > 1:04:43You have to promise to come back here.
1:04:45 > 1:04:47Promise me.
1:04:47 > 1:04:50When?
1:04:50 > 1:04:51Can you come this weekend?
1:04:53 > 1:04:55I think so.
1:04:57 > 1:04:59- You think so? - Hmmm.
1:05:00 > 1:05:03You think so?
1:05:09 > 1:05:11Yes! Yes! Yes!
1:05:11 > 1:05:13Yes!
1:05:13 > 1:05:15Yes! Yes!
1:05:15 > 1:05:18Thank you! Thank you!
1:05:18 > 1:05:21I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Whoo!
1:05:21 > 1:05:25I've still got it. I've still got it. I've still got it.
1:05:25 > 1:05:28Thank God.
1:05:28 > 1:05:30Yeah.
1:05:38 > 1:05:39Buongiorno.
1:05:42 > 1:05:44Buongiorno.
1:05:44 > 1:05:47- Do I still look sad to you? - No.
1:05:47 > 1:05:51Ladybugs, Katherine. Lots and lots of ladybugs.
1:05:51 > 1:05:54Lovely. When do you see him again?
1:05:54 > 1:05:55Tomorrow.
1:06:22 > 1:06:24Wha... Wha...
1:06:24 > 1:06:26Oh.
1:06:29 > 1:06:32I would've told you I was coming,
1:06:32 > 1:06:34but you would've talked me out of flying.
1:06:37 > 1:06:40- Look at you! - Goddamn it, Frances.
1:06:45 > 1:06:48- Wha... - I gotta go pee!
1:06:50 > 1:06:52You must be so exhausted.
1:06:53 > 1:06:56See this?
1:06:56 > 1:06:58Tell me there's a baby in there.
1:06:58 > 1:07:01Uh-huh.
1:07:01 > 1:07:03Little baby
1:07:03 > 1:07:07in there...right now.
1:07:07 > 1:07:09I'm with you.
1:07:13 > 1:07:15Oh, Jesus.
1:07:19 > 1:07:22So what's it like having one of these in Cortona?
1:07:22 > 1:07:25I hear the town midwife's pretty good.
1:07:25 > 1:07:29She puts a knife under the bed... to cut the pain.
1:07:31 > 1:07:32Florence is an hour away.
1:07:32 > 1:07:36You'll be delivering this baby in a hospital gown designed by Armani.
1:07:58 > 1:08:00She ran out on me.
1:08:02 > 1:08:04She said she realised
1:08:04 > 1:08:07she didn't want to be a mother after all.
1:08:15 > 1:08:17(SOBS) Oh, Jesus, Frances.
1:08:23 > 1:08:24How do you do it?
1:08:28 > 1:08:31How do you breathe again?
1:08:34 > 1:08:36(PANTS)
1:08:36 > 1:08:38(LAUGHS)
1:08:38 > 1:08:41Pretty soon.
1:08:44 > 1:08:46God, I missed you.
1:08:48 > 1:08:50Marcello.
1:08:50 > 1:08:53I really think I'd better stay here.
1:08:53 > 1:08:56I'm sorry. How about next weekend?
1:08:56 > 1:08:59OK, how about the one after that?
1:09:00 > 1:09:03No, of course I understand.
1:09:03 > 1:09:04I won't forget you.
1:09:06 > 1:09:08I think a lot about you, too.
1:09:08 > 1:09:11OK. Well, until then.
1:09:12 > 1:09:13Bye.
1:09:14 > 1:09:19There's something strange about these trees. It's like they know.
1:09:19 > 1:09:22And they know that we know that they know.
1:09:22 > 1:09:25They're creepy. Creepy Italian trees.
1:09:25 > 1:09:29The baby's going to be a creepy Italian baby
1:09:29 > 1:09:32that goes around saying, "Ciao, Mamma,"
1:09:32 > 1:09:35and doing that backward hand wave thing.
1:09:36 > 1:09:37Life is strange.
1:09:43 > 1:09:46Where were you going when I arrived?
1:09:46 > 1:09:48- Nowhere important. - What's he like?
1:09:48 > 1:09:51He's a creepy Italian.
1:09:51 > 1:09:53- Then go see him. - I will.
1:09:53 > 1:09:56I want to spend time with my creepy American friend.
1:09:56 > 1:10:01- I refuse to screw up your love life. - Don't be ridiculous, Patti,
1:10:01 > 1:10:03you are my love life.
1:10:58 > 1:11:01(WATER DRIPS)
1:11:01 > 1:11:05 Frances, could you come up here, please?
1:11:05 > 1:11:07There's hot water in the toilet bowl.
1:11:10 > 1:11:14Oh, my God. It's close to boiling.
1:11:14 > 1:11:17They must have crossed a pipe somewhere.
1:11:17 > 1:11:19Oh, God, this is really bad, isn't it?
1:11:19 > 1:11:23It's not good, unless you want to give your ass a facial.
1:11:23 > 1:11:26That's a contradiction in terms.
1:11:26 > 1:11:28I guess it'd be more of an ass-cial.
1:11:30 > 1:11:33< (LADY CHUCKLES)
1:11:42 > 1:11:44- Oh. - (GASPS)
1:11:44 > 1:11:47Let's go. Let's go.
1:11:47 > 1:11:49- I'm sorry, Frances! - Sorry?
1:11:49 > 1:11:53We have nowhere else to go to be together.
1:11:53 > 1:11:56What does that make me, Saint Francesca,
1:11:56 > 1:12:00patron saint of horny teenagers? You were doing it in my bed.
1:12:00 > 1:12:05- I don't even do it in my bed!- My father don't let us see each other
1:12:05 > 1:12:06because he is not Italian.
1:12:06 > 1:12:09Maybe it's because you're young and shouldn't be...
1:12:09 > 1:12:14- It's because I'm Polish.- It will be terrible if we are not together.
1:12:14 > 1:12:16(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
1:12:23 > 1:12:28Assassinate? Did she say that you were going to assassinate somebody?
1:12:28 > 1:12:30No, she misunderstand.
1:12:30 > 1:12:32I didn't say...
1:12:32 > 1:12:36Amore, I didn't say assassino.
1:12:36 > 1:12:39I said I'm going to ask Nino
1:12:39 > 1:12:40for money
1:12:40 > 1:12:43to help us get married.
1:12:43 > 1:12:45Ask Nino.
1:12:46 > 1:12:49- I didn't understand. - Married?
1:12:49 > 1:12:54- You barely understand what the other is saying.- We are in love
1:12:54 > 1:12:57- and I go with him this weekend. - To the flag-throwing festival.
1:12:57 > 1:13:02- I am going to throw the flag. - Throw the flag? Why?
1:13:02 > 1:13:05Because I can do it as good as any Italian man,
1:13:05 > 1:13:09- that's why, and her father will see. - Francesca. >
1:13:09 > 1:13:12- Francesca. > - My father.
1:13:13 > 1:13:16- Francesca. > - Hi.
1:13:16 > 1:13:20My daughter says you are taking her to the festa in Montepulciano.
1:13:20 > 1:13:23- This is true? - Just a moment, please.
1:13:26 > 1:13:30I told him you are taking me there so he will stay home.
1:13:30 > 1:13:34- I don't want to lie to your father. - Oh, come on, Frances, who cares?
1:13:34 > 1:13:36Frances...
1:13:37 > 1:13:41..if I am not with her, I will die of a broken heart.
1:13:44 > 1:13:45You won't die.
1:13:49 > 1:13:51(TRADITIONAL FANFARE)
1:14:11 > 1:14:13There he is!
1:14:18 > 1:14:21- These are straight men! - In tights.
1:14:21 > 1:14:26- Twirling flags. - Fantastic.- Yeah.
1:14:30 > 1:14:32This is it.
1:14:36 > 1:14:39He is fantastic.
1:14:40 > 1:14:42Fantastico!
1:15:02 > 1:15:04(ALL CHEER)
1:15:18 > 1:15:20Yeah!
1:15:24 > 1:15:26Yeah, bravo!
1:15:30 > 1:15:33Pawel, I love you!
1:15:33 > 1:15:35(CROWD GASP)
1:15:41 > 1:15:44Pawel! Scusa. Pawel!
1:15:44 > 1:15:47Easy. Easy.
1:15:48 > 1:15:50Scusa.
1:15:55 > 1:15:58- I throw the flag. - Si, amore.
1:16:00 > 1:16:03They're fine.
1:16:05 > 1:16:06Let's go.
1:16:06 > 1:16:10'What is it about love that makes us so stupid?
1:16:12 > 1:16:15'Take the old man with the flowers,
1:16:15 > 1:16:18'same deal, every day, I mean, enough already.
1:16:18 > 1:16:21'Why can't he just let it go and get over it?'
1:16:32 > 1:16:35Francesca, you have seen my daughter, she seems so different.
1:16:35 > 1:16:38- Really?! - Chiara is not herself.
1:16:38 > 1:16:42- Oh.- Maybe, do you know what's bothering her?
1:16:44 > 1:16:46- I don't know. - Oh.
1:16:46 > 1:16:50Hey, Frances, look. You can see Bramasole from here.
1:16:50 > 1:16:53See.
1:16:53 > 1:16:55Thank you.
1:17:01 > 1:17:04(GASPS) It's Marcello!
1:17:04 > 1:17:06Oh, my God.
1:17:08 > 1:17:11Wait a minute. What?
1:17:11 > 1:17:13What's he doing? Don't go.
1:17:13 > 1:17:16Where are you going? What are you...? Patti.
1:17:16 > 1:17:19Marcello! Marcello!
1:17:24 > 1:17:26Marcello!
1:17:31 > 1:17:34Marcello!
1:17:38 > 1:17:40Ah!
1:17:43 > 1:17:44Wait!
1:17:48 > 1:17:50Marcello!
1:17:53 > 1:17:54He tried you on your cell,
1:17:54 > 1:17:59- but you were in a deadzone.- I cannot believe that you let him leave.
1:17:59 > 1:18:02- He said he couldn't wait. - Couldn't wait?
1:18:02 > 1:18:06- Why couldn't he wait?- He was nearby and thought he'd take a shot.
1:18:06 > 1:18:08He was very disappointed, OK?
1:18:08 > 1:18:11- You've got a snail in your ear. - Good.- Really?
1:18:11 > 1:18:14- No, get it out. - He left you a note.
1:18:17 > 1:18:21- Keep still. - He's going north...
1:18:21 > 1:18:23for a couple of weeks!
1:18:27 > 1:18:31My God, he had a dream about me in a white dress.
1:18:31 > 1:18:35- A white dress? Holy shit!- Damn it, why didn't you make him wait?!
1:18:35 > 1:18:39Come on, you're a tough dyke, you could've tied him to a chair,
1:18:39 > 1:18:43crippled him, you could've faked labour at least!
1:18:44 > 1:18:46I wouldn't have had to fake it.
1:18:51 > 1:18:53Ten fingers,
1:18:53 > 1:18:54ten toes.
1:18:56 > 1:18:59I commend you on a classic choice.
1:19:01 > 1:19:05- What's her name, Mom? - Alexandra.
1:19:05 > 1:19:06Alexandra.
1:19:09 > 1:19:13'In Italian the literal translation of to give birth,
1:19:13 > 1:19:16'dare alla luce, is, "to give to the light."'
1:19:16 > 1:19:19Alexandra.
1:19:20 > 1:19:22Welcome to the light.
1:19:27 > 1:19:29Yes.
1:19:35 > 1:19:38(TOYS SQUEAK)
1:19:40 > 1:19:42You're so cute. You're so cute.
1:20:03 > 1:20:05(WATER DRIPS)
1:20:13 > 1:20:15Frances.
1:20:16 > 1:20:19We are finished.
1:20:43 > 1:20:44"Poland."
1:20:52 > 1:20:54(CAMERA CLICKS)
1:21:01 > 1:21:04Dziekuja.
1:21:05 > 1:21:07Dziekuja.
1:21:34 > 1:21:37Come back soon, I'll cook for you.
1:21:38 > 1:21:41- Pawel, you, too? - Chiara is waiting!
1:21:47 > 1:21:52Patti, you want to come with me to town? We can bring the baby and...
1:22:22 > 1:22:23< (KNOCK AT DOOR)
1:23:22 > 1:23:24I have to buy a white dress.
1:24:22 > 1:24:23Marcello!
1:24:25 > 1:24:26Marcello!
1:24:29 > 1:24:32Francesca. Wait there, I'm coming down.
1:24:40 > 1:24:42Francesca.
1:24:44 > 1:24:47Look how beautiful you are.
1:24:47 > 1:24:49It's incredible to see you.
1:24:52 > 1:24:54Every time we made plans it didn't happen,
1:24:54 > 1:24:58- so I thought I'd just surprise you. - I am surprised.
1:25:00 > 1:25:02What-what brings you to Positano?
1:25:02 > 1:25:04What brings me to Positano?
1:25:07 > 1:25:09What brings me to Positano?
1:25:09 > 1:25:11 Marcello!
1:25:21 > 1:25:24Well, I...
1:25:27 > 1:25:30- I came at a bad time. - Francesca, wait. Wait. Wait.
1:25:30 > 1:25:34I'm sorry you're hurt, but what did you expect?
1:25:34 > 1:25:36What did I expect?!
1:25:36 > 1:25:39You came to Bramasole, you left that note,
1:25:39 > 1:25:42- I thought that you... - Just a minute.
1:25:42 > 1:25:45Months ago we had a beautiful affair
1:25:45 > 1:25:49and if you think I wanted more of you after that, you're right.
1:25:49 > 1:25:51I did, of course.
1:25:51 > 1:25:54You are a fantastic woman, Francesca,
1:25:54 > 1:25:57but we were never able to come together again,
1:25:57 > 1:26:00even though we tried and this sort of thing must come naturally.
1:26:05 > 1:26:09I told you, there was my friend and she was going to have...
1:26:09 > 1:26:11There were many other things...
1:26:13 > 1:26:15..important things you had to do.
1:26:17 > 1:26:21And you couldn't wait, right?
1:26:25 > 1:26:27Don't worry, Francesca,
1:26:27 > 1:26:30don't worry,
1:26:30 > 1:26:34there's nothing to regret. Do you regret this?
1:26:37 > 1:26:38No.
1:26:43 > 1:26:45There is someone for you, Francesca.
1:26:56 > 1:26:58Goodbye.
1:27:06 > 1:27:08Francesca!
1:27:20 > 1:27:23(CHURCH BELL RINGS)
1:27:43 > 1:27:45What's going on here?
1:27:45 > 1:27:48- (CROWD APPLAUD) - She is Sylvia
1:27:48 > 1:27:50in La Dolce Vita.
1:27:53 > 1:27:55She's very good, actually.
1:28:01 > 1:28:03- Is she drunk? - I hope so.
1:28:10 > 1:28:13You know, in La Dolce Vita,
1:28:13 > 1:28:16he goes in and he gets her.
1:28:16 > 1:28:18Mastroianni,
1:28:18 > 1:28:20he goes in and he fishes her out.
1:28:27 > 1:28:30(CROWD APPLAUD)
1:28:53 > 1:28:55Kathy.
1:29:09 > 1:29:11(Thank you.)
1:29:15 > 1:29:18Do you think I make a good Sylvia?
1:29:18 > 1:29:19You were wonderful.
1:29:26 > 1:29:29(SIGHS)
1:29:29 > 1:29:31I see Zeus has gone.
1:29:31 > 1:29:34Back to Mount Olympus.
1:29:34 > 1:29:37- I'm so sorry. - Don't be.
1:29:37 > 1:29:39I'm fine now.
1:29:39 > 1:29:42There's nothing like a fountain and a magnum of French champagne
1:29:42 > 1:29:45to put you right again.
1:29:46 > 1:29:47Really?
1:29:49 > 1:29:51What do you think?
1:30:12 > 1:30:14You know who I really love the most
1:30:14 > 1:30:16from all the films?
1:30:17 > 1:30:18Cabiria.
1:30:21 > 1:30:23You remember at the end
1:30:23 > 1:30:27when another man has left her in the most terrible way
1:30:27 > 1:30:29and she thinks it's all over for her.
1:30:31 > 1:30:35And she sees some children playing in the street,
1:30:35 > 1:30:37making music
1:30:37 > 1:30:39and before she knows it...
1:30:41 > 1:30:42..she's smiling again.
1:30:46 > 1:30:49That's what FeFe always said,
1:30:49 > 1:30:51"No matter what happens...
1:30:54 > 1:30:57"..always keep your childish innocence.
1:30:58 > 1:31:02"It's the most important thing."
1:31:20 > 1:31:24You're back? What happened? How'd it go with Marcello?
1:31:24 > 1:31:28- I don't want to talk about it. - Chiara's here, she's upset.
1:31:28 > 1:31:30She's in the garden talking with Pawel.
1:31:30 > 1:31:33- But...- I can't, I can't talk about it now.
1:31:33 > 1:31:35Fran...
1:31:35 > 1:31:37(BABY GURGLES) >
1:31:53 > 1:31:54Stupid.
1:31:54 > 1:31:57Stupid. Stupid!
1:31:57 > 1:31:59Stupid! Stupid!
1:32:01 > 1:32:04Stupid! Aaah!
1:32:04 > 1:32:05What more can I do?!
1:32:10 > 1:32:12(SOBBING) >
1:32:45 > 1:32:47Papa.
1:33:00 > 1:33:04- I want to ask your permission to marry your daughter.- Che cosa?!
1:33:04 > 1:33:08It's nice, but it's out of the question.
1:33:09 > 1:33:13I have come here to ask your permission to marry your daughter.
1:33:13 > 1:33:17I will love her for ever and I know I will make her happy.
1:33:17 > 1:33:20- All young men say this. - Sometimes it's true.
1:33:20 > 1:33:22- Never. - Never?
1:33:22 > 1:33:26- What about you?- Don't be ridiculous, I hate him half of the time.
1:33:28 > 1:33:32Placido, don't you want Chiara to be happy in love?
1:33:32 > 1:33:36Happy, happy. It is about a lot of things.
1:33:36 > 1:33:39- It's not just about young passion. - It doesn't last
1:33:39 > 1:33:44and when it's over what you will have left is nothing.
1:33:44 > 1:33:45He has nothing to offer you.
1:33:45 > 1:33:47I have everything to offer her.
1:33:49 > 1:33:51Everything.
1:33:51 > 1:33:52Pawel,
1:33:52 > 1:33:55let's go.
1:33:55 > 1:33:57- Chiara! - Wait.
1:34:00 > 1:34:05Won't you give your blessing? What if this is it,
1:34:05 > 1:34:07the real thing?
1:34:07 > 1:34:12- A love that lasts for ever.- What you describe is only in fairy tales.
1:34:12 > 1:34:15- No, it's not.- And how do you know, form personal experience?
1:34:20 > 1:34:24No, I looked for it and I didn't find it,
1:34:24 > 1:34:26but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
1:34:26 > 1:34:30That's exactly what it means, no-one has had it.
1:34:33 > 1:34:34Mamma.
1:34:39 > 1:34:41Mamma, Mamma.
1:34:44 > 1:34:47He has no family.
1:34:49 > 1:34:50That's not true.
1:34:55 > 1:34:57He has me.
1:34:58 > 1:35:00I'm his family.
1:35:03 > 1:35:05I am his family.
1:35:10 > 1:35:12(CHURCH BELL RINGS)
1:35:13 > 1:35:16(PRIEST SPEAKS ITALIAN)
1:35:27 > 1:35:29(SAYS WEDDING VOWS IN ITALIAN)
1:35:52 > 1:35:55(SAYS WEDDING VOWS IN ITALIAN)
1:36:06 > 1:36:08- Il corpo de Cristo. - Amen.
1:36:08 > 1:36:12- Il corpo de Cristo. - Amen.
1:36:12 > 1:36:15- Il sangue de Cristo. - Amen.
1:36:20 > 1:36:23- Il sangue de Cristo. - Amen.
1:36:31 > 1:36:34(LAUGHTER / CHATTERING)
1:36:38 > 1:36:39OK.
1:36:53 > 1:36:56(APPLAUSE)
1:37:00 > 1:37:02Mamma!
1:37:05 > 1:37:08(ALL CHANT) Bacio!
1:37:08 > 1:37:10(CHEERING)
1:37:21 > 1:37:24What are you thinking?
1:37:24 > 1:37:27- What do I think? - Tell me.
1:37:29 > 1:37:31I think you've got your wish.
1:37:31 > 1:37:34My wish?
1:37:34 > 1:37:35That day we looked for your snake
1:37:35 > 1:37:39you said to me that you wanted there to be a wedding here.
1:37:46 > 1:37:49Yeah.
1:37:49 > 1:37:52Then you said you wanted there to be a family here.
1:37:59 > 1:38:00You're right.
1:38:02 > 1:38:03I got my wish.
1:38:05 > 1:38:07I got everything that I asked for.
1:38:28 > 1:38:30(SIGHS)
1:38:32 > 1:38:35Scusa... (SPEAKS BROKEN ITALIAN)
1:38:39 > 1:38:43You're looking for the American writer who lives here
1:38:43 > 1:38:45and you found her.
1:38:45 > 1:38:48If you don't mind, I'll just...
1:38:50 > 1:38:54There. It was...crawling on you.
1:38:56 > 1:38:57Ladybug.
1:39:01 > 1:39:04Do I, erm...
1:39:05 > 1:39:07Do I know you?
1:39:07 > 1:39:11- Not really. You reviewed one of my books once.- Did I like it?
1:39:11 > 1:39:13Not very much.
1:39:13 > 1:39:16- Oh, no! - Don't worry, it was, er,
1:39:16 > 1:39:21- by far the very best bad review I've ever received.- You're kidding.
1:39:21 > 1:39:25I'm not. It's, er, helped me get to my next book.
1:39:25 > 1:39:28Anyway, I've been travelling around Tuscany.
1:39:28 > 1:39:32Someone said that you lived up here and...
1:39:34 > 1:39:35I'm Ed.
1:39:35 > 1:39:39- Hi. - Hi.- Hi.
1:39:39 > 1:39:41I'm Frances.
1:39:41 > 1:39:44Hi.
1:39:44 > 1:39:48There's a wedding going on. This isn't your wedding...
1:39:48 > 1:39:51I mean, that would be unfortunate.
1:40:08 > 1:40:10'They say they built the train tracks over the Alps
1:40:10 > 1:40:14'between Vienna and Venice before there was a train that could make the trip,
1:40:14 > 1:40:16'but they built it anyway.
1:40:16 > 1:40:18'They knew one day a train would come.
1:40:21 > 1:40:25'Any arbitrary turning along the way and I would be elsewhere,
1:40:25 > 1:40:27'I would be different.
1:40:29 > 1:40:32'What are four walls, anyway?
1:40:32 > 1:40:35'They are what they contain, the house protects the dreamer.
1:40:35 > 1:40:39'Unthinkably good things can happen,
1:40:39 > 1:40:41'even late in the game.
1:40:41 > 1:40:43'It's such a surprise.'
1:41:51 > 1:41:54(WATER GUSHES)