0:00:07 > 0:00:17This programme contains strong language
0:00:35 > 0:00:37So I'll give you my number, yeah?
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Sure, write it down.
0:00:45 > 0:00:46Call me, yeah?
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Listen, David, I've got to rush. My train's in ten minutes.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51It's fine, go.
0:01:00 > 0:01:01Sarah!
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Oh, God, I didn't think I'd make it.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07Sorry, I got you a croissant. Those muffins were in plastic, they looked a bit sweaty.
0:01:12 > 0:01:13Where's my fucking sock?
0:01:32 > 0:01:33There you are, you little bastard.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48What the fuck?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57All right, mate.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59When's the next train to Liverpool?
0:01:59 > 0:02:019:17, mate.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05- How much is a single? - £102.50, sir.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Shit.
0:02:09 > 0:02:12- All right, thanks, mate. - You're welcome. Take care.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Wait up!
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Is this the Liverpool bus? - Yes, mate.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41- Do you know what time it arrives? - 3:30.- Cheers.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49Hi, mate. Can you just do me a favour? Could you just tell Keith I'm not coming in today?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Look, I don't care, just do it, please.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54Yeah, please.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57All right, all right, I owe you one.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Cheers, fella. Just make something up, yeah?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Fuck! This is never going to work, I can't remember it all.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Look, just calm down, will you?
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- We'll just have to wing it. - What do you mean, fucking wing it?
0:04:57 > 0:05:02- There's three months of work in that document!- I'm not the one that doesn't back up.
0:05:02 > 0:05:07I downloaded it onto a CD. It was on the memory stick. It was printed off, it was finished.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08Well, where is it then?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Fuck off.
0:05:10 > 0:05:11All right.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Maybe you left it on the train?
0:05:13 > 0:05:19- No, I didn't look at it on the train, I was asleep, wasn't I? - Would anybody like more coffee?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Shit! Shit, they're ready! What the fuck am I going to do?
0:05:22 > 0:05:26- Are you ready, Karen?- Yes, I'll be in in a second, Martin. Just give us a sec.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30All right, but don't be too long. We're waiting.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Are you all right, Kaz?
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Yeah, I'll be in in a minute, I'm just nervous.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37You'll be fine. Just be yourself.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Maybe you should just tell them you lost it?
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Don't be so fucking ridiculous.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49- I'll look like a total spaz then, won't I?- Fine.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Fuck.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58< Hi, I'm looking for Karen.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Karen who?
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Blonde hair, blue eyes.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05You've got to be fucking kidding me.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08- What?- It's that lad from last night.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10- What, not the one you...?!- Shut up!
0:06:10 > 0:06:16Fuck! What the fuck am I going to do?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19If Michael sees him, he'll kill me.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Oi, oi, all right?- Oh, my God.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24What the fuck are you doing here?
0:06:24 > 0:06:28- Nice to see you, too.- What are you doing here? How did you find me?
0:06:28 > 0:06:29- You forgot something.- Get off!
0:06:29 > 0:06:35- Sorry. I thought you might need this.- Oh, my God!
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Oh, God! You've just saved my life!
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Karen, are you ready?
0:06:43 > 0:06:44- We're wait...- Michael!
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Who's this?
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- It's...- David, nice to meet you.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52Right, come on, let's get in there.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56So, er, I just wait for you here, then?
0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Who is he again?- He's just told you, hasn't he, soft arse? Now come on.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01- We met in London.- Oh, aye?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03So what are you doing up here, then?
0:07:03 > 0:07:07It's our David, he's like my cousin.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Yeah, sure.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14I'm her cousin.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Oh, right.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Well what's her mother's name?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Auntie...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24You fucking liar, he's not your fucking cousin.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26There's no need for that, mate.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30- Keep your hands off me, I'll put you through that fucking wall.- Calm down.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Karen! Look, I think we should be making a start now.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34And will you lot keep your voices down?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36- And who the hell are you?- I'm David.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Fuck off. We'll finish this afterwards, you understand?
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Don't you dare talk to me like that, you fucking psycho.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Let's get you out of here, come on, this way.- Who the fuck do you think you are?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- You're no one!- Oh yeah? And who the fuck's he?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Some dickhead you shagged on your away day?- And what if he is?
0:07:51 > 0:07:54I'll fuck who I want. You don't own me, Michael.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57- Oh, don't I now?- You can talk...
0:07:57 > 0:08:00They'll be all right, they're always like this. He's a big softie, really.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Oh, Jesus Christ, we've been through all that!
0:08:03 > 0:08:04- Look, will you... - BOTH: Fuck off!
0:08:04 > 0:08:07Look, I just came up cos I thought we had something going, you know?
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Ah, no, but thanks for the file.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Listen, love, she always makes sure she has a good time
0:08:13 > 0:08:16when she goes down to London, do you know what I mean?
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Fuck this.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26Look, I don't know if you're interested or not, but your jobs are on the line right now.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29You can stick your job up your arse, you speccy little twat.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30CHEERING
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Stella, please, mate.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44I'll give you my number, shall I?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46I could show you around.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Karen?
0:08:55 > 0:09:00- Call me.- Listen, David, my train's in ten minutes, I've got to rush.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02It's fine, go.
0:09:12 > 0:09:16Blonde hair, blue eyes, she's got a little mole just...
0:09:16 > 0:09:21- Oh, she's down there on the left, mate.- Right.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Fuck... My fucking wallet!
0:10:51 > 0:10:52Fuck.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Shit.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15'Racing up towards the first bend, 4 best away from 2, then comes 1, 3,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18'5 and 6, they go round the bend and it's 4 by two lengths...
0:11:21 > 0:11:25'Maintaining a lead of two lengths over 1 and 2, then comes 6 trying
0:11:25 > 0:11:29'to improve on the outside, then 5 and 3 as they approach the second last bend.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31'4 leading, 6 closing rapidly...'
0:11:33 > 0:11:37£2 to win on Perfect Ten in the 10 o'clock at Romford, please.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39- Trap five?- Yeah.
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- Fucking hell!- It's that under there.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49He takes him swimming in some dirty pond, then they come here and stink the place out.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50We're not meant to let dogs in.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Only blind dogs, you know.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- What?- You know, like guide dogs.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58I think they're amazing, them.
0:12:01 > 0:12:02Are you all right?
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Yeah, I'm fine.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09Hi, Bren.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12Can I get a pound on Life's A Bitch, please?
0:12:14 > 0:12:17- Heavy night last night, was it? - Yeah, I was wrecked.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23- So, do you work round here? - No, I don't.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30Look, I'm sorry, I just had a bit of a rough night.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I got robbed, just trying to get home.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- Are you all right? - Yeah, they just took my wallet.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Where've you got to get to?- London.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Have you got any money left?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44£2.80. I woke up to all these coins at my feet.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Generous lot, you northerners.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Yeah, great, rob your wallet then lob you the price of a cup of tea.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Thanks.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Listen, do you know much about the dogs?
0:13:04 > 0:13:05Cos the one you've picked's shit.
0:13:05 > 0:13:10- How do you know?- I work in a bookie's six days a week, I've got the gist.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15While you're standing there, just have a look at that floor.
0:13:16 > 0:13:23Look, I shouldn't really say this, but if that was me I think Baltic Blue is a better bet.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26If I lend you 20p, you could bet £3 on it to win. It's good odds.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27But that would clean me out.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29But it could get you home.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31How sure are you?
0:13:31 > 0:13:34You can't be sure, sometimes they have off days.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35No, you're all right.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- What's your star sign?- What?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Your star sign, what is it?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Gemini.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13It says here Jupiter is in line with Saturn.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15Stop being a twat,
0:14:15 > 0:14:20take the 20p and put everything you've got on Baltic Blue.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22OK, go on.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Better fucking win.
0:14:44 > 0:14:48- 'And they're off at Romford. Stanhope gets off to a flyer...' - Shit!
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Don't worry, he always takes the outside.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52He's like Tom Cruise in Days Of Thunder.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Come on. Go on, fella.
0:14:57 > 0:15:01- Come on.- Come on, son. Go on!
0:15:01 > 0:15:03MEN SHOUT
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- Yes, come on, yes! - Go on, lad, go on!
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Go on! Go on, you bastard!
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Go on, go on, go on!
0:15:16 > 0:15:18- Yes!- 'Baltic Blue wins...'
0:15:18 > 0:15:21I'm a fucking genius.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32There you go.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35How about I take you for a coffee with this then?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Oh, no, I'm not allowed.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Yeah, you are, love. - No, honest, I can't.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43- Oh, go on.- No, honest, I can't.
0:15:43 > 0:15:47- I'm working, aren't I?- Well, what time's your lunch break? - In half an hour.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51Well, I'll hang around and hopefully you'll change your mind.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Oh, and thanks.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- BRENDA:- What are you waiting for? Enjoy yourself.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13But he might be an axe murderer.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Oh, come on, he's no Hannibal Lecter.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19He was a cannibal, not an axe murderer.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Anyway, I don't even know his name.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26- What's your name, love?- David.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29Go on. I'll cover for you.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38So what are you going to spend your money on?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I don't know, I might get a souvenir.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42So what do you do then, normally?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44A bit of this, a bit of that.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Building sites, mostly.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48How do you mean? Don't you work full-time?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Not if I can help it.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- It's all right for some!- What's the point if you don't have to?
0:16:53 > 0:16:57So what, you sit on your arse all day watching telly? PHONE RINGS
0:16:57 > 0:16:59I keep myself busy.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Signing on?
0:17:03 > 0:17:06I'll tell you what, you Scousers can cook.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10It's a sausage, even I can cook a sausage.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Actually, that's a lie. My nan's the cook in our house.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- She lives with you then? - Yeah, me, my nan, and Danny.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19- Is that your fella?- Brother.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21So you live at home then?
0:17:21 > 0:17:23- Yeah.- With your mum?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- No.- Sounds cosy.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- I'm going to have to go.- What?
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Can't you call in sick or something? - You soft?!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- They've seen me all morning. - Tell them your nan's sick.
0:17:35 > 0:17:40- My nan's like an ox, she doesn't get sick.- What about Danny?
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- No-one's sick.- Let's go shopping, I'll buy you a present.
0:17:43 > 0:17:48- I don't want a present, I've got to go back to work, I need the money. - You can have some of this money!
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Sorry, I...
0:17:50 > 0:17:54I'd just like to spend the afternoon with you. You could show me the sights.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00I've got it. Diarrhoea.
0:18:02 > 0:18:04That's what you can say, you've got diarrhoea.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07It comes on really fast sometimes.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- Shut up.- No, seriously, this'll work.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- Just say you ate something dodgy and it's just shooting out your arse. - I'm not saying that to my boss.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18You don't have to, just say you ate a funny sausage or something.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21You're feeling a bit ill, your stomach's upset.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- If he gets suspicious, then you get more graphic.- Oh, lovely(!)
0:18:24 > 0:18:28- But he won't. Give me your phone, I'll do it for you.- No!
0:18:28 > 0:18:32I'll write you a note, like your mum used to when you were a kid.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37"Dear...Mr Bookie,
0:18:37 > 0:18:43"I'm...keeping Tina...
0:18:43 > 0:18:47"at...home...this...
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- "afternoon..."- That's enough.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59If he shouts at me, I'm going to kill you.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09SOUNDTRACK PLAYS OVER SPEECH
0:19:29 > 0:19:33- I told you. - How do you know stuff like that?
0:19:33 > 0:19:36It's just something people don't like about the shits.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38SHE LAUGHS
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Fucking hell, those girls are practically orange.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46I've never seen so much WAG juice in my life.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49WAG juice? Where did you get that?
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Fake tan. Like the WAGs.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54That's not fake, that's sunbeds.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- Sunbeds is fake. - Yeah, but not like Piz Buin fake.
0:19:57 > 0:20:03- What's the difference?- You can tell sunbeds cos of the goggle marks round the eyes, like a panda.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06And you get white lines where you've had your arms by your sides.
0:20:06 > 0:20:09And if you go on one of them lie-down ones, you get white moons
0:20:09 > 0:20:14where your bum's overlapped the top of your legs, unless you lie there like that, holding your arse up.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16How do you know all this?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18I used to work in Tanner Reef.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20HE LAUGHS
0:20:26 > 0:20:30- So where are you taking us? - The cathedral.- You what?
0:20:30 > 0:20:35- You're taking us to fucking church? - It's not a church, it's a cathedral.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38- I thought you wanted to see the sights.- I do.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Well, it's a sight.
0:21:13 > 0:21:19# At times I dream of your stable door
0:21:21 > 0:21:23# Cobbled yards
0:21:23 > 0:21:26# Strewn with hay... #
0:21:39 > 0:21:41That woman's crying.
0:21:41 > 0:21:47- Do you think we should see if she's OK?- No. Let's leave her, eh?
0:21:48 > 0:21:51It's probably the only place she can get some peace.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Are we nearly there yet?
0:22:05 > 0:22:11# Carry me
0:22:11 > 0:22:15# From this old town
0:22:15 > 0:22:19# To the sea... #
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I told you it was worth it.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Look, you can see right down the river.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Yeah, it's like the London Eye.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Have you been on that?
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Yeah, I had a girlfriend once who took us up there for our one-month anniversary.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Wow. That was quite an achievement, was it?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37It was, as it happens.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39I'd love to go on that.
0:22:39 > 0:22:40I fucking hated it.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42I haven't been up here for years.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45They're Catholics, my family.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48That's our cathedral there.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Are you OK?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Yeah, I'm fine. Why?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03- You can't see from there. Come over here.- I'm fine.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Are you scared?
0:23:06 > 0:23:08What do you mean, am I scared?
0:23:08 > 0:23:11- Of heights?- No.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13You're scared of heights, aren't you?
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Come on, come here.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21You'll be fine.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Just don't look down.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Come on, I can give you the whole guided tour from up here.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32OK?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Look, there's Radio City.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Really? I'd never have guessed(!)
0:23:39 > 0:23:42It wasn't always Radio City.
0:23:42 > 0:23:47When I was a baby, it was a restaurant, and the top used to revolve.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51So, er... Where do you live?
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Erm...
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Down there.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Look, there's Southport.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04You can see the beach running along for miles.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06You've got a beach in Liverpool?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- Yeah. - Can you see Anfield from up here?
0:24:09 > 0:24:11It's right over there.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13I've got to sit down.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28So...are you a red, then?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30No. My blood runs blue.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Our Danny's a red. He loves them.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Isn't that against your religion, to have one red and one blue?
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Nothing we could do about it.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40He went to a game once and got to meet all the team.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43He came back yabbering about Steven Gerrard.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Wouldn't shut up about him. - Fuck me, he met Steven Gerrard?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48- He met them all.- How come?
0:24:48 > 0:24:52He gets to do loads of good stuff like that with the centre.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55What's the centre?
0:24:55 > 0:24:56He's got Down's.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Down's Syndrome.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01That's where he goes.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Do you want to go back now?
0:25:09 > 0:25:13Yeah. I'm freezing my nuts off up here.
0:25:38 > 0:25:43So this centre, do you reckon your brother could get me Steven Gerrard's autograph?
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- No!- What do they do there?
0:25:45 > 0:25:47He loves it. Does all sorts.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50He's got NVQs coming out of his ears.
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Dead smart. Sometimes he'll find some old woman in a shop to help with her bags,
0:25:54 > 0:25:56just cos he likes the look of what she's bought
0:25:56 > 0:25:58and wants inviting in for a Wagon Wheel.
0:25:58 > 0:25:59You'd think we never fed him.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01I'll have to remember that one.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03My nan only buys broken biscuits from the Aldi,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06so he thinks he's got to get the good stuff where he can.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08Broken biscuits?
0:26:08 > 0:26:09Yeah, you must have them.
0:26:09 > 0:26:14Like normal biscuits, only they broke in the factory, so they have to sell them cheap.
0:26:14 > 0:26:17She says they taste the same, but he's not convinced.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20I don't blame him. I think I'd prefer a Wagon Wheel and all.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24Here you are. Let me show you this.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40SHE GIGGLES
0:26:42 > 0:26:44HE LAUGHS
0:26:44 > 0:26:46She's got a knob!
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Hang on, isn't that her thingy?
0:26:50 > 0:26:53I don't think it's actually meant to be a knob.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56They didn't think "How can we pay our respects to Queen Victoria?
0:26:56 > 0:26:58"I know, we'll give her a big dildo."
0:27:01 > 0:27:03HE LAUGHS
0:27:03 > 0:27:06- What?- You.
0:27:06 > 0:27:08You make me laugh.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57I bet loads of people think they're drowning, don't they?
0:27:57 > 0:28:00It's funny-looking when you see them all up to their waists,
0:28:00 > 0:28:03and you see all these little heads bobbing in the waves.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05How many are there?
0:28:05 > 0:28:08About a hundred, I think.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Got big old nips on him, hasn't he?
0:28:10 > 0:28:12They're not his nipples.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16That's where they poured the iron in when they were making them.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19- Who made 'em?- Some fella.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Are they all the same?
0:28:23 > 0:28:27Yeah. He made them all from his own body.
0:28:27 > 0:28:32- He what? - He made the cast of himself.
0:28:32 > 0:28:33You're joking.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35No, why?
0:28:35 > 0:28:39He's given himself a massive cock, hasn't he?
0:28:39 > 0:28:43He probably thought to himself, "How can I pull the birds?
0:28:43 > 0:28:45"I know, I'll make 100 cast-iron models of myself,
0:28:45 > 0:28:48"stick 'em on a beach and give them all a massive dick."
0:28:48 > 0:28:50He's an artist, David.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52It's art. He wasn't trying to pull.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54I don't care who he is. He's a bloke.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10This one's got a bit of knob-rot here.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13- Looks painful, mate. - Leave him alone.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15They're barnacles. He can't help it.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41Must be weird in the dark.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48PHONE RINGS
0:29:53 > 0:29:56- Don't you think you should get that?- No.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58RINGING CONTINUES
0:29:58 > 0:30:00- Might be important.- No.
0:30:00 > 0:30:02- How do you know? - It's never important.
0:30:02 > 0:30:05Are you on the run?
0:30:05 > 0:30:07- Shut up!- You might be!
0:30:07 > 0:30:09I'm not on the run.
0:30:09 > 0:30:11Answer the phone, then.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15- Don't want to.- Then switch it off, cos it's doing my head in.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17RINGING CONTINUES
0:30:20 > 0:30:23It's my mum, OK?
0:30:23 > 0:30:25Oh, right.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28Why don't you talk to her?
0:30:28 > 0:30:30Because I don't want to.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32Well, there's no need to be funny about it.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35Does your mum phone you all the time?
0:30:35 > 0:30:36My mum's dead.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40Sorry.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45- When was that, then?- I was 17.
0:30:45 > 0:30:48She had breast cancer.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50Shit.
0:30:50 > 0:30:51It was a long time ago.
0:31:02 > 0:31:03Let's go on a ferry.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06What do you want to go on a ferry for?
0:31:06 > 0:31:09Not for anything. It's what you do in Liverpool, isn't it?
0:31:09 > 0:31:13Gondolas in Venice, ferries in Liverpool.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16You just want to sail round and then come back?
0:31:16 > 0:31:20- Where does it go?- Over there, New Brighton and Wallasey.
0:31:20 > 0:31:24Great. Let's go.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26I might get off in a bit.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28- Why?- Our Danny'll be home.
0:31:28 > 0:31:32Yeah, but your nan's at home, and you could ring her.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34I know.
0:31:34 > 0:31:39I should... Anyway, you'll have to get off.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42I can't come all the way to Liverpool and not go on the ferry.
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Wouldn't be right, would it?
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- Is that right?- Yeah.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55Can I have a lolly ice first?
0:31:55 > 0:31:56Yeah, sure.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01I'll have an Orange Maid.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04That is the most boring lolly ice there is.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07- They're the best!- What are you, 12?
0:32:07 > 0:32:08HE LAUGHS
0:32:09 > 0:32:12Can I have an Orange Maid and a 99, please?
0:33:03 > 0:33:05SOUNDTRACK PLAYS OVER SPEECH
0:33:29 > 0:33:33What about your old man? You ain't mentioned him.
0:33:33 > 0:33:34Not much to say.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36There's always something to say.
0:33:36 > 0:33:39All right, he was a bastard.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43- There you go.- I don't remember much.
0:33:43 > 0:33:45He left when I was six.
0:33:45 > 0:33:48- Do you miss him?- Miss what?
0:33:48 > 0:33:50Miss him screaming at me mum every day?
0:33:50 > 0:33:52No, I don't.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56- I wish she'd never met him. - Then you wouldn't be here.
0:33:56 > 0:34:00But I wouldn't know I wasn't here, would I, so I wouldn't mind.
0:34:02 > 0:34:03I'm glad you're here.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06That's cos no-one else would talk to you.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Yes!
0:34:14 > 0:34:15Here, down this end.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17Look, these are ready to go.
0:34:31 > 0:34:34The right one, yes.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40Yeah!
0:34:40 > 0:34:42COINS SPILL OUT
0:34:42 > 0:34:44I don't want a bear.
0:34:44 > 0:34:48- He's won a bear!- I'll have the shark.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50What am I going to do with a bear?
0:34:50 > 0:34:53- You need a mate.- Cheers!
0:34:59 > 0:35:03But coming up here, doesn't that defeat the object of a one-night stand?
0:35:03 > 0:35:05I just thought it'd be nice to see her again.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Why? Is she the one?
0:35:08 > 0:35:10- Is she your soulmate?- I hope not.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12She was fucking mental.
0:35:12 > 0:35:13SHE LAUGHS
0:35:24 > 0:35:29But if you didn't really like her, what made you come all this way?
0:35:29 > 0:35:32- I didn't have much on yesterday. - You never have much on.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35And I felt like an adventure.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37Like Robinson Crusoe or something.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Did he come to Liverpool to shag a bird?
0:35:39 > 0:35:42No!
0:35:42 > 0:35:44But he always had a wank on Friday.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07PHONE RINGS
0:36:09 > 0:36:10Oh, it's my mate Jason.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12- Do you mind?- No, course not.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16You might get more sense out of him, anyway.
0:36:16 > 0:36:20Jase, how are you doing, mate? Nice one...
0:36:40 > 0:36:42Mind if I sit down, love?
0:36:42 > 0:36:44Oh, no. Go ahead.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48- What a chip?- No, thanks, I'm fine.
0:36:51 > 0:36:53That your fella over there?
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Ha ha, nice one, mate...
0:36:55 > 0:36:56No. I hardly know him.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59You want to get in there fast, my love.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06It's always nice to have a fella when the sun shines.
0:37:06 > 0:37:08- Do you think?- I do, yeah.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11Go on, have a chip.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14Nobody wants to shag a bag of bones, do they?
0:37:14 > 0:37:16THEY LAUGH
0:37:20 > 0:37:22- See you.- Bye.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32It's all right. I've met this other bird. She seems well up for it.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34No, she's Catholic.
0:37:34 > 0:37:39They're the worst, aren't they? They're all desperate cos they've been deprived.
0:37:39 > 0:37:42No, she hasn't had any cock for years. She's been locked up.
0:37:44 > 0:37:48No, you idiot. She has to look after her brother. He's a mong.
0:37:48 > 0:37:51No, a mong.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54No, you dickhead, her brother's a mong.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01I'll call you back, yeah?
0:38:01 > 0:38:03Look, Tina.
0:38:03 > 0:38:06Tina?
0:38:06 > 0:38:09- Tina!- Get lost!- Wait up!
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Hold up, Tina! Tina!
0:38:11 > 0:38:13- MIMICS ACCENT:- "Tina!" Cockney wanker.
0:38:16 > 0:38:17Tina!
0:38:20 > 0:38:22- Hold up.- Who the fuck are you calling a mong?
0:38:22 > 0:38:26Get away from me, David! Get away from me!
0:38:26 > 0:38:29- What's the matter?- You're pathetic!
0:38:29 > 0:38:32How dare you call my brother a mong?
0:38:32 > 0:38:34- GIRL:- What's going on here?
0:38:34 > 0:38:38ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
0:38:38 > 0:38:40BABY CRIES
0:38:40 > 0:38:42ALL SCREAM AT EACH OTHER
0:38:42 > 0:38:45Get off her!
0:38:46 > 0:38:48- I'm all right, thank you. - We'll deal with him.
0:38:48 > 0:38:52- ..tell her I'm sorry!- Fuck off, you big fucking bully!
0:38:52 > 0:38:55Tina, where are you going? Fucking shut up!
0:38:57 > 0:39:01- Tina! Fuck!- You don't hit girls! - Don't think you're getting past us.
0:39:03 > 0:39:07- Go on! Fuck off!- Fuck!
0:39:07 > 0:39:09Ow! Fuck!
0:39:11 > 0:39:15- Go on.- I don't think so, mate.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17Go on, fuck off.
0:39:17 > 0:39:21- Don't think you can get away with that shit round here.- Piss off.
0:39:21 > 0:39:24- Yeah, go on, leg it.- Fuck off!
0:40:04 > 0:40:05Tina?
0:40:17 > 0:40:20- You walk fast for someone with little legs.- Get lost.
0:40:20 > 0:40:24Look, just...let me apologise, and let's start again.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Don't be a an arrogant fucking dickhead.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29Don't you think you're taking this a bit far?
0:40:29 > 0:40:31- Piss off.- This is a waste of time.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34I thought you had loads of time to waste. You never go to bloody work.
0:40:34 > 0:40:36I work when I want to work.
0:40:36 > 0:40:39You're just a lazy bastard who still lives with his mum.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41What's that got to do with anything?
0:40:41 > 0:40:45Cooks for you, does she? Dinner on the table every night when you get in from work?
0:40:45 > 0:40:48Oh no, that's right. You've got no work.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50Yeah, she does cook for me, as it goes.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53So what? It's none of your fucking business why I live at home.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56- You're really starting to piss me off.- Go on, then.
0:40:56 > 0:41:00Why do you live with your mum? Look at the fucking size of you.
0:41:00 > 0:41:04Apart from the fact that you pay no rent, and the washing, and the ironing?
0:41:04 > 0:41:06- You don't know the first thing about me.- No.
0:41:06 > 0:41:07I don't want to, neither.
0:41:14 > 0:41:18Look, she just...likes to have me there. That's why.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21Oh, yeah. You're the life and soul, you, aren't you(?)
0:41:21 > 0:41:23Bet it's a laugh a minute round yours.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26Just shut up a minute and listen, will you?
0:41:26 > 0:41:28My mum, she's been ill...
0:41:28 > 0:41:31Like I'm interested in your stupid fucking mum, David.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33I couldn't give a toss.
0:41:39 > 0:41:40Tina?
0:41:40 > 0:41:42Tina!
0:41:45 > 0:41:47How the fuck do I get back?
0:42:21 > 0:42:23There's that Cockney wanker.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Where did you get the fat pig?
0:42:25 > 0:42:27It's a bear, you twat.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29I was talking to the bear.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31Just fuck off, right?
0:42:31 > 0:42:32BOYS LAUGH
0:42:32 > 0:42:37- BOYS:- Wanker!- Dickhead!
0:42:38 > 0:42:44- Fuck!- Fucking wanker!- Fuck!
0:42:44 > 0:42:47Hey, mate, give it a rest, will you? There's kids here.
0:42:47 > 0:42:50Wanker! Dickhead! Wanker!
0:42:50 > 0:42:54Dickhead! Yeah, wanker! Wanker!
0:43:01 > 0:43:02Die!
0:43:02 > 0:43:05BOYS LAUGH IN DISTANCE
0:43:05 > 0:43:07Wanker!
0:43:24 > 0:43:26Hey, mate.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29Hey, mate?
0:43:42 > 0:43:44PHONE RINGS
0:43:44 > 0:43:45All right, Mum?
0:43:45 > 0:43:50How are you? Look, slow down.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54I know, I'm sorry. I got caught up.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59Has Auntie Carol been round?
0:43:59 > 0:44:04No, I haven't been drinking. It'll be all right.
0:44:04 > 0:44:05You've got the telly...
0:44:09 > 0:44:10Shit.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30You all right, mate?
0:44:30 > 0:44:32Yeah, thanks.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40Is this going to the town centre?
0:44:40 > 0:44:42- Yeah. All the way.- Thanks.
0:45:22 > 0:45:25Brenda!
0:45:25 > 0:45:28- Have you seen Tina? - Thought she was with you.- She was.
0:45:28 > 0:45:31We had a...misunderstanding.
0:45:31 > 0:45:33I just need to find her.
0:45:33 > 0:45:36Please?
0:45:53 > 0:45:55Tina.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59(Oh, for fuck's sake. What are you doing here? How did you find me?)
0:45:59 > 0:46:01Brenda told me.
0:46:01 > 0:46:05- I've been looking all over. - I thought you were going home.
0:46:05 > 0:46:07- I've come to say sorry. - You said that, thanks.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10- Lime Street's that way. - Don't be like this.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12Like what? I don't know you.
0:46:12 > 0:46:15Stop following me round like a stalker. I'll call the police.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17- What?- You heard.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20I was having a joke with my mate, and I took it too far.
0:46:20 > 0:46:24I was an idiot. Honestly, I wish I'd never said it.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27Thanks for the apology, but it's fine.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29Now, if you don't mind...
0:46:29 > 0:46:32So you're just going to sit here in the dark on your own?
0:46:32 > 0:46:35- That's not good for you. - How do you know what's good for me?
0:46:35 > 0:46:37You're not the only one with problems.
0:46:37 > 0:46:41He's not a problem, he's me brother.
0:46:41 > 0:46:44I know.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47Listen, I know what it's like.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50- What what's like? - Looking after someone.
0:46:50 > 0:46:52I look after my mum.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55I tried to tell you before, but you wouldn't listen.
0:46:55 > 0:46:57I don't blame you.
0:46:57 > 0:46:58I was out of order.
0:46:58 > 0:47:01I'd be the same if someone said something about my mum.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05She's got depression.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10I'm not surprised. You'd make anyone depressed.
0:47:11 > 0:47:12HE EXHALES
0:47:15 > 0:47:17Sorry.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23People think that she should just get herself together.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26Meet a bloke, get a job and all that.
0:47:26 > 0:47:28It's not like that for her.
0:47:28 > 0:47:30She don't sleep.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32She cries all the time.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35She can't even tell you why she's crying.
0:47:36 > 0:47:41I tried to move out when I was 19, but she didn't cope very well.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43She had an accident with her pills.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45I don't think she meant to,
0:47:45 > 0:47:50but everyone thought it was an overdose, so I moved back home to look after her.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52Well, shouldn't have you talked to her?
0:47:52 > 0:47:54I'm trying to have a day off.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56What did you do, ring her up and tell her you've got diarrhoea?
0:47:56 > 0:47:59She can't be the only thing in my life.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02I think I'd try and top myself.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04So I go out to see my mates.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06I meet girls. It keeps me sane.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08It keeps me me.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10It's how I live my life.
0:48:10 > 0:48:13Well, this is my life. This is me.
0:48:13 > 0:48:15- I feel sorry for you.- Don't.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19- I don't want no one feeling sorry for me.- Except yourself.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22I don't feel sorry for myself.
0:48:33 > 0:48:38Look, when was the last time you went out, went dancing or something?
0:48:38 > 0:48:41What decade are you living in?
0:48:41 > 0:48:45- "Went dancing"? - Dancing's good for the soul.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49- You speak the most shit I've ever heard.- Think what you like.
0:48:49 > 0:48:51- You're unhappy.- I'm not unhappy.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53I'm pissed off.
0:48:55 > 0:48:57Look, what do you want, from life?
0:48:57 > 0:48:59- What do you want? - What do you mean, from life?
0:48:59 > 0:49:02It's not Netto. You don't pick out what you want each week.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05What if it was?
0:49:05 > 0:49:06What would you pick?
0:49:16 > 0:49:18You should head off.
0:49:18 > 0:49:19Right. OK.
0:49:21 > 0:49:26Listen...I am sorry. About before.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29You're all right.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31You're forgiven.
0:49:31 > 0:49:35Well...thanks.
0:49:37 > 0:49:39For showing me around and that.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41You're welcome.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43I'll see you, David.
0:49:43 > 0:49:45Yeah.
0:49:45 > 0:49:47Bye.
0:50:08 > 0:50:10Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
0:50:10 > 0:50:12It's me.
0:50:12 > 0:50:15My God! What are you doing, David?
0:50:15 > 0:50:18You can't be in here! That's where the priest sits!
0:50:18 > 0:50:19Well, he's not coming.
0:50:19 > 0:50:22There's a fellow in tears at the back,
0:50:22 > 0:50:25and I don't think your Father's getting away any time soon.
0:50:25 > 0:50:28I thought we could sack this off and go down the pub, but...
0:50:29 > 0:50:31You're going to get me thrown out.
0:50:35 > 0:50:38Are you eating again?
0:50:38 > 0:50:39It's church, innit?
0:50:39 > 0:50:41I always have sweets in church.
0:50:43 > 0:50:44D'you want one?
0:50:54 > 0:50:56So, tell me.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59What is it that's bothering you?
0:50:59 > 0:51:01You are such a tit.
0:51:04 > 0:51:06I lied to get off work this afternoon
0:51:06 > 0:51:09to spend it with this knobhead I met at the bookie's.
0:51:09 > 0:51:13And I feel bad for making Brenda do all the work.
0:51:13 > 0:51:15You're forgiven.
0:51:15 > 0:51:19My mate up there tells me that your mate Brenda can look after herself.
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Well, I suppose I feel a bit better.
0:51:23 > 0:51:24That's what we like to hear.
0:51:26 > 0:51:29I think I'm pretty good at this priest bit.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31- You have to be celibate, you know.- Oh.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34Fuck that.
0:51:35 > 0:51:38I've never done confessing. What do you say?
0:51:38 > 0:51:40Confess your sins.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43- How bad can they be?- The worst.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45The worst things you've ever done.
0:51:47 > 0:51:49Hmm.
0:51:51 > 0:51:54I bit my mum on the leg once when I was a kid.
0:51:54 > 0:51:55Proper bled, it did.
0:51:55 > 0:51:58I had right sharp little gnashers.
0:51:58 > 0:51:59Is that it?
0:51:59 > 0:52:02What are you, some sort of saint?
0:52:02 > 0:52:06No, I've just...never done anything I'm that ashamed of.
0:52:06 > 0:52:08You must have done some.
0:52:10 > 0:52:11No.
0:52:11 > 0:52:13Sorry.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18Does it make you feel better?
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Confessing your sins?
0:52:20 > 0:52:23Yeah.
0:52:23 > 0:52:24Do you tell your priest everything?
0:52:24 > 0:52:27Like, I mean, everything?
0:52:27 > 0:52:31Well...not like what I've had for my tea, but the big stuff, yeah.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34What's the biggest thing you've ever confessed?
0:52:34 > 0:52:36Nosy get, I'm not telling you that.
0:52:36 > 0:52:38Go on.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41I won't tell no-one, I promise.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44Who am I going to tell?
0:52:44 > 0:52:46It can't be that bad.
0:52:46 > 0:52:48What, did you fucking murder someone?
0:52:53 > 0:52:55I had an abortion.
0:52:59 > 0:53:03And that's the big sin, isn't it?
0:53:03 > 0:53:06Yeah.
0:53:06 > 0:53:10Until it's one of your own and you change your mind, that's what my mum said.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14I never even told her I was pregnant.
0:53:15 > 0:53:20Threw up in the kitchen sink two mornings in a row, and she just knew.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25It was me boyfriend's, the baby.
0:53:26 > 0:53:30I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32Tony Ellis.
0:53:32 > 0:53:37He thought the sun shone out of his arse, and he was a fucking knobhead.
0:53:39 > 0:53:41He's married now.
0:53:41 > 0:53:42Got two kids.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48Me mum went out to buy a test.
0:53:48 > 0:53:52Sat there on the bath while I weed on it. She wouldn't get out.
0:53:54 > 0:53:58You get a line if you're not pregnant and a cross if you are.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Like you've been naughty at school.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05And she just sat there, not saying anything.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09And I went over and gave her a hug,
0:54:09 > 0:54:13and we just stayed like that for ages on the bath.
0:54:13 > 0:54:20Then she said that having a baby now would ruin my whole life.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25Because she'd know.
0:54:30 > 0:54:32He just called me a slag.
0:54:32 > 0:54:35That the baby wasn't his, lying bastard.
0:54:38 > 0:54:42He told me I'd better get rid of it, cos it'd probably end up being like Danny.
0:54:46 > 0:54:49No-one wants a mong for a kid, do they?
0:54:55 > 0:54:57That night,
0:54:57 > 0:54:58I went into her room
0:54:58 > 0:55:01and sat on the bed,
0:55:01 > 0:55:04and I was like, "I'm not doing it, Mum.
0:55:06 > 0:55:09"This is my baby.
0:55:09 > 0:55:10"I want it."
0:55:13 > 0:55:15And she said,
0:55:15 > 0:55:21"Just trust me. Let me do this one thing for you."
0:55:34 > 0:55:37What sort of person kills their baby?
0:55:40 > 0:55:43She took me to the clinic.
0:55:45 > 0:55:48And she held me hand till I went in,
0:55:48 > 0:55:50and she was there when I woke up.
0:55:51 > 0:55:54And it was all cos she loved me.
0:55:56 > 0:56:00Cos she wanted the best for me.
0:56:00 > 0:56:01I know it was.
0:56:03 > 0:56:09She forgot everything she believed in, because she believed in me more.
0:56:10 > 0:56:12Never mind what I believed in.
0:56:19 > 0:56:21She did that one thing for me.
0:56:27 > 0:56:28And then she died.
0:56:33 > 0:56:37She fucking died and left me on my own.
0:56:45 > 0:56:49And now I'm here, doing all the stuff she should be doing.
0:57:11 > 0:57:14Do you fancy that drink now?
0:57:17 > 0:57:19Yeah.
0:58:04 > 0:58:07- Thanks for listening to me. - You're welcome.
0:58:08 > 0:58:10Didn't give you much choice, did I?
0:58:10 > 0:58:12HE LAUGHS
0:58:12 > 0:58:15You made me think about having a career in the clergy.
0:58:15 > 0:58:16SHE LAUGHS
0:58:16 > 0:58:18- Did I really?- Yeah.
0:58:20 > 0:58:22Well, we'll have a good night, yeah?
0:58:23 > 0:58:26MUSIC THUDS IN DISTANCE
0:58:26 > 0:58:29MUSIC CONTINUES
0:59:09 > 0:59:12SOUNDTRACK PLAYS OVER SPEECH
1:01:01 > 1:01:03FOOTSTEPS COME DOWNSTAIRS
1:01:06 > 1:01:09Was there enough hot water?
1:01:09 > 1:01:11Yeah, it was perfect, thanks.
1:01:11 > 1:01:14Me nan likes a good soak of a night.
1:01:14 > 1:01:16Where can I dry this?
1:01:16 > 1:01:18Just stick it on there.
1:01:18 > 1:01:21Do you want to lend one of our Danny's T-shirts?
1:01:21 > 1:01:23That'd be great, thanks.
1:01:23 > 1:01:26Here you are. Hope it fits.
1:01:26 > 1:01:29Cheers.
1:01:29 > 1:01:31Want a cup of tea?
1:01:31 > 1:01:32That'd be lovely.
1:01:43 > 1:01:45Nice house.
1:01:45 > 1:01:47Thanks very much.
1:01:47 > 1:01:50Never really notice your own house, do you?
1:01:50 > 1:01:52No, I know what you mean.
1:01:52 > 1:01:57Like, every house has its own smell, but you can't smell your own.
1:01:57 > 1:02:00Are you saying my house smells?
1:02:00 > 1:02:01No.
1:02:01 > 1:02:03Well, yeah.
1:02:03 > 1:02:05But it smells nice.
1:02:05 > 1:02:08- What does it smell of?- Fish fingers.
1:02:08 > 1:02:12Lovely! Thanks very much(!) It doesn't always smell of fish fingers.
1:02:12 > 1:02:14Me nan's done them for his tea.
1:02:14 > 1:02:16Don't suppose there's any going spare?
1:02:16 > 1:02:18They'll be cold by now.
1:02:18 > 1:02:20Couple in a sarnie might be nice.
1:02:20 > 1:02:23I'll see what I can do.
1:02:23 > 1:02:25Do you want brown sauce?
1:02:25 > 1:02:30No, thanks. If there's any ketchup, though, that'd be blinding, cheers.
1:02:42 > 1:02:45Put some music on.
1:02:45 > 1:02:48Quiet, though. Me nan's like a monster if she gets woken up.
1:02:51 > 1:02:52HE LAUGHS
1:02:56 > 1:02:59Are you laughing at my music?
1:02:59 > 1:03:01Geri Halliwell?
1:03:01 > 1:03:04It's cos I felt sorry for her when she was all skinny and miserable.
1:03:04 > 1:03:07I'm sure she was grateful.
1:03:13 > 1:03:14What the fuck is this?
1:03:20 > 1:03:24That's me nan's. I'm not taking no responsibility there.
1:03:25 > 1:03:26Thanks.
1:03:26 > 1:03:28Let's have a bit of this.
1:03:36 > 1:03:37Thanks.
1:03:48 > 1:03:52MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY
1:03:53 > 1:03:56How many girlfriends have you had?
1:03:57 > 1:03:59Why do you want to know that?
1:04:03 > 1:04:10OK. Um... Well, there's Melissa.
1:04:10 > 1:04:12Kissed her when I was 11 in the middle of maths
1:04:12 > 1:04:14in exchange for a cigarette.
1:04:16 > 1:04:18She used to nick her mum's B&H.
1:04:18 > 1:04:20We went out for two weeks.
1:04:20 > 1:04:22And you were 11? Bloody hell.
1:04:22 > 1:04:26Then there was Natalie, Melissa's mate.
1:04:26 > 1:04:29She used to come round everywhere with us.
1:04:29 > 1:04:33Then I decided I liked Natalie better, so...Melissa weren't too happy.
1:04:35 > 1:04:38Then there was... What was her name?
1:04:38 > 1:04:42This is going to take a while, isn't it?
1:04:57 > 1:04:59Oh. Thanks.
1:05:06 > 1:05:09I meant, how many girls have you slept with?
1:05:09 > 1:05:12You didn't sleep with THEM, did you?
1:05:12 > 1:05:13No.
1:05:13 > 1:05:15Not then, anyway.
1:05:17 > 1:05:20I don't know how many people I've slept with.
1:05:20 > 1:05:22What do you mean, you don't know?
1:05:22 > 1:05:27Well, I do, but... I'd have to count them up.
1:05:27 > 1:05:31- Are you joking?- No!
1:05:31 > 1:05:34OK. Shush.
1:05:34 > 1:05:35Um...
1:05:43 > 1:05:4441.
1:05:46 > 1:05:48No, hang on. Karen, 42.
1:05:53 > 1:05:56Oh, my God.
1:05:56 > 1:05:59What? It's not that many.
1:05:59 > 1:06:02- I've got a mate who's... - I'm sure you have!
1:06:06 > 1:06:09Come on, then.
1:06:09 > 1:06:10What about you?
1:06:10 > 1:06:13How many?
1:06:17 > 1:06:23- One.- What do you mean, one?
1:06:23 > 1:06:25One person.
1:06:26 > 1:06:28One boy.
1:06:30 > 1:06:31Once.
1:06:31 > 1:06:33Why?
1:06:33 > 1:06:35Why what?
1:06:38 > 1:06:42Why haven't you... ever had someone in your life?
1:06:42 > 1:06:45I have got someone in me life.
1:06:45 > 1:06:46You know what I mean.
1:06:53 > 1:06:55Don't you ever get lonely?
1:06:57 > 1:07:00You joking? I'm never fucking on me own.
1:07:02 > 1:07:07Look...if I wasn't here now,
1:07:07 > 1:07:10you'd be on your own, wouldn't you?
1:07:11 > 1:07:13And I should be grateful for that?
1:07:13 > 1:07:15Well, no.
1:07:19 > 1:07:24What I'm trying to say is...that you don't have to be on your own.
1:07:24 > 1:07:27I could be with you, you mean?
1:07:28 > 1:07:30I'm not going anywhere.
1:07:33 > 1:07:35David, don't say things you don't mean.
1:08:43 > 1:08:46TV PLAYS LOUDLY IN ANOTHER ROOM
1:09:08 > 1:09:11Nan'll go mad. She told you about
1:09:11 > 1:09:16watching telly in the middle of the night...
1:09:16 > 1:09:18Want a cup of tea?
1:09:18 > 1:09:19I won't be a sec.
1:09:52 > 1:09:54All right?
1:09:59 > 1:10:00Mine.
1:10:02 > 1:10:04My T-shirt.
1:10:07 > 1:10:08- Yeah.- My clothes.
1:12:01 > 1:12:03# Across the evening sky
1:12:07 > 1:12:13# All the birds are leaving
1:12:15 > 1:12:17# But how can they know
1:12:20 > 1:12:24# It's time for them to go?
1:12:28 > 1:12:32# Before the winter fire
1:12:35 > 1:12:40# I will still be here
1:12:46 > 1:12:50# I have no thought of time... #
1:12:50 > 1:12:52Tina, you're going to be late.
1:12:53 > 1:12:58# ..So who knows
1:12:58 > 1:13:04# Where the time goes?
1:13:04 > 1:13:07# Who knows
1:13:07 > 1:13:12# Where the time goes?
1:13:24 > 1:13:27# Sad, deserted shore
1:13:29 > 1:13:34# Your fickle friends are leaving
1:13:37 > 1:13:41# Oh, but then you know
1:13:41 > 1:13:47# It's time for them to go
1:13:49 > 1:13:56# But I will still be here
1:13:58 > 1:14:02# I have no thought of leaving
1:14:06 > 1:14:10# I do not count the time... #
1:14:12 > 1:14:14Hi, Mum.
1:14:14 > 1:14:17- BRENDA:- Where have you been?
1:14:17 > 1:14:23# ..Who knows where the time goes?
1:14:27 > 1:14:29# Who knows
1:14:29 > 1:14:35# Where the time goes? #
1:15:00 > 1:15:04# When all the lights go out for ever
1:15:05 > 1:15:08# Somewhere near the end of time
1:15:11 > 1:15:13# The noise will pass
1:15:13 > 1:15:16# And the dust will settle
1:15:16 > 1:15:20# And you'll be on my mind
1:15:23 > 1:15:27# Now you won't find it hard to understand
1:15:27 > 1:15:31# Though it's so hard to explain
1:15:34 > 1:15:38# The who and what and how and why and wherefore
1:15:40 > 1:15:44# You kept me sane, you kept me sane
1:15:49 > 1:15:51# Cos you were there for me
1:15:54 > 1:15:57# Oh, and you set me free
1:16:00 > 1:16:02# To be what I want to be
1:16:05 > 1:16:06# With dignity
1:16:07 > 1:16:12# Heart as big as my hometown
1:16:12 > 1:16:18# Lay me down by water cool
1:16:18 > 1:16:23# Heart as big as the city
1:16:23 > 1:16:28# Heart as big as Liverpool... #
1:16:42 > 1:16:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
1:16:45 > 1:16:48E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk