Alice in Wonderland

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0:01:08 > 0:01:11Charles, you have finally lost your senses.

0:01:11 > 0:01:13This venture is impossible.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16For some. Gentlemen, the only way to achieve the impossible

0:01:16 > 0:01:18is to believe it IS possible.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20That kind of thinking could ruin you.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22I'm willing to take that chance.

0:01:22 > 0:01:26Imagine trading posts in Rangoon, Bangkok, Jakarta...

0:01:32 > 0:01:34The nightmare again?

0:01:38 > 0:01:40I won't be long.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44I'm falling...down a dark hole...

0:01:46 > 0:01:49..then I see strange creatures.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51What kind of creatures?

0:01:51 > 0:01:58Well, there's a dodo bird, a rabbit in a waistcoat, a smiling cat.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00I didn't know cats could smile.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02- SHE SIGHS - Neither did I.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06And there's a blue caterpillar.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08Blue caterpillar.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Hmm.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Do you think I've gone round the bend?

0:02:18 > 0:02:23I'm afraid so. You're mad, bonkers, off your head.

0:02:23 > 0:02:28But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29SHE LAUGHS

0:02:29 > 0:02:32It's only a dream, Alice. Nothing can harm you there.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36But if you get too frightened, you can always wake up. Like this.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37Ow!

0:02:40 > 0:02:41SHE SIGHS

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Must we go?

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Doubt they'll notice if we never arrive.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03They will notice.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Where's your corset?

0:03:13 > 0:03:14And no stockings.

0:03:14 > 0:03:15I'm against them.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17But you're not properly dressed.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20Who's to say what is proper?

0:03:20 > 0:03:23What if it was agreed that "proper" was wearing a codfish on your head?

0:03:23 > 0:03:25- Would you wear it?- Alice.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28To me, a corset is like a codfish.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Please, not today.

0:03:30 > 0:03:32Father would have laughed.

0:03:33 > 0:03:39I'm sorry. I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41Did you have bad dreams again?

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Only one.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46It's always the same, ever since I can remember.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Do you think that's normal?

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Don't most people have different dreams?

0:03:52 > 0:03:54I don't know.

0:04:01 > 0:04:05There. You're beautiful.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Now, can you manage a smile?

0:04:16 > 0:04:19CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:04:22 > 0:04:26At last. We thought you'd never arrive.

0:04:26 > 0:04:30Alice, Hamish is waiting to dance with you. Go.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35You do realise it's well past 4.00.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Now everything will have to be rushed through.- I am sorry.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Oh, never mind!

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Forgive my wife. She's been planning this affair for over 20 years.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51If only Charles were here...

0:04:51 > 0:04:53My condolences.

0:04:53 > 0:04:58I think of your husband often. He was truly a man of vision.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02I hope you don't think I've taken advantage of your misfortunes.

0:05:02 > 0:05:06Of course not. I'm pleased that you purchased the company.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09I was a fool for not investing

0:05:09 > 0:05:12in his mad venture when I had the chance.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Charles thought so, too.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Hamish, do you ever tire of quadrille?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38On the contrary. I find it invigorating.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43SHE LAUGHS

0:05:43 > 0:05:45Do I amuse you?

0:05:45 > 0:05:46No.

0:05:46 > 0:05:49I had a sudden vision of all the ladies in trousers

0:05:49 > 0:05:51and the men wearing dresses.

0:05:51 > 0:05:54It would be best to keep your visions to yourself.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57When in doubt, remain silent.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01HONKING

0:06:03 > 0:06:04SHE GASPS

0:06:04 > 0:06:07Pardon us, sir. Miss Kingsleigh is distracted today.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Where's your head?

0:06:09 > 0:06:11I was wondering what it would be like to fly.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13Why would you spend your time

0:06:13 > 0:06:15thinking about such an impossible thing?

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Why wouldn't I?

0:06:17 > 0:06:20My father said he sometimes believed in six impossible things

0:06:20 > 0:06:21before breakfast.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Come...

0:06:27 > 0:06:31Alice, meet me under the gazebo in precisely ten minutes.

0:06:33 > 0:06:34We have a secret to tell you.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37If you're telling me, then it's not much of a secret.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39- Perhaps we shouldn't. - We decided we should.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41- If we tell her, she won't be surprised.- Will you be surprised?

0:06:41 > 0:06:44Not if you tell me. But now you've brought it up, you have to.

0:06:44 > 0:06:48- No, we don't. - In fact, we won't.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50I wonder if your mother knows

0:06:50 > 0:06:53that you two swim naked in the Havershims' pond.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56- You wouldn't. - Oh, but I would.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59There's your mother right now.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Hamish is going to ask for your hand.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03You've ruined the surprise!

0:07:03 > 0:07:05I could strangle them!

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Everyone went to so much effort to keep the secret.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10Does everyone know?

0:07:10 > 0:07:15It's why they've all come. This is your engagement party.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18Hamish will ask you under the gazebo. When you say yes...

0:07:18 > 0:07:21But I don't know if I want to marry Hamish.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24Who, then? You won't do better than a lord.

0:07:27 > 0:07:31You'll soon be 20, Alice. That pretty face won't last for ever.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34You don't want to end up like Aunt Imogene.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38- And you don't want to be a burden on Mother, do you?- No.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40So you'll marry Hamish.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42You will be as happy as I am with Lowell,

0:07:42 > 0:07:44and your life will be perfect.

0:07:44 > 0:07:45It's already decided.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Alice, dear.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50I'll leave you to it.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53Shall we take a leisurely stroll through the garden, just you and me?

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Do you know what I've always dreaded?

0:08:00 > 0:08:02The decline of the aristocracy?

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Ugly grandchildren. But you're lovely.

0:08:06 > 0:08:09You're bound to produce little... Imbeciles!

0:08:09 > 0:08:11The gardeners have planted white roses

0:08:11 > 0:08:13when I specifically asked for red.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15You could always paint the roses red.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18What an odd thing to say.

0:08:18 > 0:08:22You should know that my son has extremely delicate digestion.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24RUSTLING

0:08:24 > 0:08:26- Did you see that?- See what?

0:08:26 > 0:08:28- It was a rabbit, I think. - Nasty things.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31I do enjoy setting the dogs on them.

0:08:31 > 0:08:35If you serve Hamish the wrong foods, he could get a blockage.

0:08:35 > 0:08:36RUSTLING

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Did you see it that time?

0:08:38 > 0:08:39- See what?- The rabbit!

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Don't shout.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45Now, pay attention. Hamish said you were easily distracted.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- What was I saying? - Hamish has a blockage.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52I couldn't be more interested, but you'll have to excuse me.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00- Aunt Imogene.- Hmm?

0:09:00 > 0:09:04I think I'm going mad. I keep seeing a rabbit in a waistcoat.

0:09:04 > 0:09:07I can't be bothered with your fancy rabbit now.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09I'm waiting for my fiance.

0:09:09 > 0:09:13- You have a fiance?- Hmm.

0:09:13 > 0:09:15RUSTLING

0:09:15 > 0:09:17There! Did you see it?

0:09:18 > 0:09:19He's a prince.

0:09:19 > 0:09:24But, alas, he cannot marry me unless he renounces his throne.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26It's tragic, isn't it?

0:09:26 > 0:09:28Very.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31GIGGLING

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Lowell?

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Alice. We were just...

0:09:42 > 0:09:44Hattie's an old friend.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46I can see you're very close.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Look, you won't mention this to your sister, will you?

0:09:49 > 0:09:53I don't know. I'm confused. I need time to think.

0:09:53 > 0:09:57Well, think about Margaret. She'd never trust me again.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01- You don't want to ruin her marriage, do you?- Me?

0:10:01 > 0:10:06But I'm not the one who's sneaking around behind her back.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08There you are.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Alice Kingsleigh...

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Hamish.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24What is it?

0:10:24 > 0:10:27You have a caterpillar on your shoulder.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29Ew.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Don't hurt it.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38You'll want to wash that finger.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Alice Kingsleigh...

0:10:49 > 0:10:51..will you be my wife?

0:10:55 > 0:10:56Well...

0:10:58 > 0:11:01..everyone expects me to,

0:11:01 > 0:11:03and you're a lord.

0:11:03 > 0:11:08My face won't last, and I don't want to end up like...

0:11:12 > 0:11:14But this is happening so quickly. I...

0:11:16 > 0:11:17I think I...

0:11:18 > 0:11:20LOUD TICKING

0:11:25 > 0:11:27I think I...

0:11:28 > 0:11:30I need a moment.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54WATCH TICKS

0:12:06 > 0:12:08Hello.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12SHE SCREAMS

0:12:19 > 0:12:21SCREAMING CONTINUES

0:12:25 > 0:12:27Agh!

0:12:46 > 0:12:49SHE SCREAMS

0:12:59 > 0:13:01RATTLING

0:13:10 > 0:13:13SHE GROANS

0:13:30 > 0:13:32LOCK RATTLES

0:15:00 > 0:15:01SHE SNIFFS

0:15:03 > 0:15:05It's only a dream.

0:15:09 > 0:15:10SHE SPLUTTERS

0:15:45 > 0:15:49You'd think she would remember all this from the first time.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53You've brought the wrong Alice.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56No, she's the right one. I'm certain of it.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30FABRIC TEARS

0:16:38 > 0:16:41SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:16:41 > 0:16:42She's the wrong Alice.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Give her a chance.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58SHE SPLUTTERS

0:17:45 > 0:17:47PIG GRUNTS

0:17:55 > 0:17:57NEIGHING AND SNARLING

0:17:57 > 0:18:00Curiouser and curiouser.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08I told you she's the right Alice.

0:18:08 > 0:18:09I am not convinced.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11How is that for gratitude?

0:18:11 > 0:18:14I've been up there for weeks, trailing one Alice after the next,

0:18:14 > 0:18:17- and I was almost eaten by other animals.- Can you imagine?

0:18:17 > 0:18:22They go about entirely unclothed, and they do their shukm in public.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- I had to avert my eyes. - Doesn't look anything like herself.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27That's because she's the wrong Alice.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30- If she was, she might be. - If she isn't, she ain't.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33- But if she were so, she would be. - But she isn't, nohow.

0:18:33 > 0:18:37How can I be the wrong Alice when this is my dream?

0:18:37 > 0:18:39And who are you, if I might ask?

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Oh, I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Contrariwise, I'm Tweedledum, he's Tweedledee.

0:18:43 > 0:18:44We should consult Absolem.

0:18:44 > 0:18:47Exactly. Absolem will know who she is.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49- I'll escort you. - Hey, it's not being your turn.

0:18:49 > 0:18:50So unfair.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52- Hey, leave off!- Let go!

0:18:52 > 0:18:55- Are they always this way? - Family trait.

0:18:55 > 0:18:56You can both escort her.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03WHINNYING

0:19:04 > 0:19:07- Who is this Absolem? - He's wise. He's absolute.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09- BOTH:- He's Absolem.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34Who are you?

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Absolem?

0:19:36 > 0:19:42You're not Absolem, I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44- SHE COUGHS - Alice.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46We shall see.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49What do you mean by that? I ought to know who I am.

0:19:49 > 0:19:55Yes, you ought, stupid girl. Unroll the Oraculum.

0:20:00 > 0:20:06The Oraculum, being a calendrical compendium of Underland.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11- It's a calendar.- Compendium.

0:20:11 > 0:20:16It tells of each and every day since the Beginning.

0:20:16 > 0:20:21Today is Griblig Day in the time of the Red Queen.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26Show her the Frabjous Day.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30Mmm. Yeah, Frabjous being the day you slay the Jabberwocky.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Sorry? Slay a what?

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Oh, yeah. That being you, there, with the Vorpal sword.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39No other swords can kill the Jabberwocky, nohow.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42If it ain't Vorpal, it ain't dead.

0:20:42 > 0:20:43That's not me!

0:20:43 > 0:20:45I know!

0:20:45 > 0:20:49Resolve this for us, Absolem. Is she the right Alice?

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Not hardly.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57- I told you.- Oh, dear.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59- I said so.- I said so.

0:20:59 > 0:21:00Contrariwise, you said she might be.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02No, you said she would be if she was.

0:21:02 > 0:21:06Little impostor. Pretending to be Alice. She should be ashamed.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08I was so certain of you.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12I'm sorry. I don't mean to be the wrong Alice.

0:21:12 > 0:21:14Wait, this is my dream.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18I'm going to wake up now and you'll all disappear.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29That's odd. Pinching usually does the trick.

0:21:29 > 0:21:31I could stick you, if that would help.

0:21:31 > 0:21:35- It might, actually. Thank you. - My pleasure.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36Ow!

0:21:36 > 0:21:39GROWLING

0:21:39 > 0:21:42- Bandersnatch!- Bandersnatch!

0:21:42 > 0:21:43IT ROARS

0:21:51 > 0:21:54LOUD SQUAWKING

0:22:00 > 0:22:02PANTING

0:22:06 > 0:22:08SQUAWKS

0:22:19 > 0:22:22IT ROARS

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Wait.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33IT GROWLS

0:22:33 > 0:22:36It's only a dream. Nothing can hurt me.

0:22:40 > 0:22:41What's she doing?

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Can't hurt me. Can't hurt me.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46IT ROARS

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Run, you great lug!

0:22:55 > 0:22:57ROARS IN PAIN

0:23:32 > 0:23:35HORSE WHINNIES

0:23:53 > 0:23:55This way, east to Queast.

0:23:55 > 0:23:56No, south to Snud.

0:23:56 > 0:23:58No. No, no. This way.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00BIRD SCREECHES

0:24:02 > 0:24:04BOTH SHOUT OUT

0:24:07 > 0:24:09SCREECHES LOUDLY

0:24:09 > 0:24:12BOTH GASP AND GROAN

0:24:44 > 0:24:47Someone has stolen three of my tarts!

0:24:55 > 0:24:58- Did you steal them? - No, Your Majesty.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00- Did you?- No, Your Majesty.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Did you steal them? - No, Your Majesty.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20SWALLOWS LOUDLY

0:25:34 > 0:25:37(Did you steal my tarts?)

0:25:37 > 0:25:39No, Your Majesty.

0:25:45 > 0:25:46(Squimberry juice.)

0:25:46 > 0:25:49- I was so hungry! I didn't mean to! - Off with his head!

0:25:49 > 0:25:51My family! Oh, please, please don't!

0:25:51 > 0:25:54No! I have little ones to look after!

0:25:54 > 0:25:55Go to his house and collect the little ones.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57I love tadpoles on toast almost as much as I love caviar.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Yes, Your Majesty.

0:26:03 > 0:26:04Drink!

0:26:09 > 0:26:11Majesty?

0:26:12 > 0:26:18Ilosovic Stayne, you knave, where have you been lurking?

0:26:18 > 0:26:24Majesty, I have found the Oraculum.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29That? Looks so ordinary for an oracle.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32Look here, on the Frabjous Day.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38I'd know that tangled mess of hair anywhere.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Is it Alice?

0:26:40 > 0:26:42I believe it is.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45What's she doing with my darling Jabberwocky?

0:26:45 > 0:26:48She appears to be slaying it.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50She killed my Jabber-baby-wocky?

0:26:50 > 0:26:55Not yet, but it will happen if we don't stop her.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Find Alice, Stayne. Find her!

0:26:58 > 0:27:00DOG YELPS

0:27:00 > 0:27:03Find the scent of human girl and earn your freedom.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06For my wife and pups, as well?

0:27:08 > 0:27:09Everyone will go home.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16DOG SNIFFS

0:27:16 > 0:27:18DOG BARKS AND HOWLS

0:27:22 > 0:27:25Dogs will believe anything.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28HE CHUCKLES

0:27:56 > 0:28:02It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws.

0:28:02 > 0:28:03And I'm still dreaming.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06What did that to you?

0:28:06 > 0:28:09- Banner or Bander... - The Bandersnatch?

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Well, I'd better have a look.

0:28:12 > 0:28:14What are you doing?

0:28:14 > 0:28:17It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills,

0:28:17 > 0:28:21or it will fester and putrefy.

0:28:21 > 0:28:25I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.

0:28:25 > 0:28:28At least let me bind it for you.

0:28:29 > 0:28:32- What do you call yourself? - Alice.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34THE Alice?

0:28:34 > 0:28:39- There's been some debate about that. - I never get involved in politics.

0:28:39 > 0:28:42You'd best be on your way.

0:28:42 > 0:28:46What way? All I want to do is wake up from this dream.

0:28:46 > 0:28:48Fine.

0:28:48 > 0:28:52Then I'll take you to the Hare and the Hatter, but that's the end of it.

0:29:00 > 0:29:02Coming?

0:29:25 > 0:29:28SNORING

0:29:28 > 0:29:30JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

0:29:30 > 0:29:31Huh?

0:29:31 > 0:29:33YAWNS

0:29:38 > 0:29:41HE STAMMERS

0:29:50 > 0:29:51Watch what you're doing!

0:29:51 > 0:29:53Hey, watch it!

0:29:56 > 0:29:57OK, OK. All right.

0:29:57 > 0:29:59It's you.

0:29:59 > 0:30:02No, it's not. McTwisp brought us the wrong Alice.

0:30:02 > 0:30:04It's the wrong Alice!

0:30:04 > 0:30:06It's absolutely Alice.

0:30:06 > 0:30:09You're absolutely Alice. I'd know you anywhere.

0:30:09 > 0:30:10I'd know him anywhere.

0:30:10 > 0:30:12BOTH GIGGLE

0:30:12 > 0:30:15Well, as you can see, we're still having tea.

0:30:15 > 0:30:19It's all because I was obliged to kill Time waiting for your return.

0:30:19 > 0:30:22You're terribly late, you know. Naughty.

0:30:22 > 0:30:25Well, anyway, Time became quite offended and stopped altogether.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27Not a tick ever since.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29HE LAUGHS

0:30:29 > 0:30:31- Cup. - Time can be funny in dreams.

0:30:31 > 0:30:33Yes, yes, of course, but now you're back, you see,

0:30:33 > 0:30:35and we need to get on to the Frabjous Day.

0:30:35 > 0:30:37- Frabjous Day! - Frabjous Day!

0:30:37 > 0:30:41I'm investigating things that begin with the letter "M".

0:30:41 > 0:30:44(Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?)

0:30:44 > 0:30:47- Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! - Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid!

0:30:47 > 0:30:50- What? - Down with the Bloody Big Head,

0:30:50 > 0:30:52the Bloody Big Head being the Red Queen.

0:30:52 > 0:30:55Come, come. We simply must commence with the slaying and such.

0:30:55 > 0:30:57Therefore, it is high time to forgive and forget

0:30:57 > 0:30:59or forget and forgive, whichever comes first

0:30:59 > 0:31:02or is, in any case, most convenient. I'm waiting.

0:31:02 > 0:31:05Hey. It's tick-tick... It's ticking again.

0:31:05 > 0:31:09All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea.

0:31:09 > 0:31:11Ah.

0:31:11 > 0:31:16The entire world is falling to ruin and poor Chessur's off his tea.

0:31:16 > 0:31:19What happened that day was not my fault.

0:31:19 > 0:31:21HE INHALES SHARPLY

0:31:21 > 0:31:23Oh, dear.

0:31:24 > 0:31:26You ran out on them to save your own skin,

0:31:26 > 0:31:30you guddler's scuttish pilgar lickering shukm juggling sluking urpal.

0:31:30 > 0:31:32Bar lom muck egg brimni!

0:31:32 > 0:31:33Hatter!

0:31:34 > 0:31:37- Thank you.- Miaow.

0:31:37 > 0:31:38I'm fine.

0:31:38 > 0:31:41What's wrong with you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party.

0:31:41 > 0:31:45You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47- Futter what?- Futterwacken!

0:31:47 > 0:31:48It's a dance.

0:31:48 > 0:31:49HE LAUGHS

0:31:49 > 0:31:52On the Frabjous Day,

0:31:52 > 0:31:55when the White Queen once again wears the crown,

0:31:55 > 0:32:01on that day, I shall Futterwacken vigorously.

0:32:01 > 0:32:02ALL CHUCKLE

0:32:02 > 0:32:04HORSE WHINNIES

0:32:04 > 0:32:05Oh, no.

0:32:06 > 0:32:08Uh-oh.

0:32:08 > 0:32:10- SHE GASPS - The Knave.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12Goodbye.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14MARCH HARE: Hide her!

0:32:14 > 0:32:15Drink this quickly.

0:32:15 > 0:32:17SHE SPLUTTERS

0:32:17 > 0:32:19Quick! Hide her!

0:32:22 > 0:32:24Oh, dear.

0:32:27 > 0:32:28Aye.

0:32:31 > 0:32:32Mind your head.

0:32:41 > 0:32:43HORSE WHINNIES

0:32:43 > 0:32:44HE SNIFFS

0:32:46 > 0:32:47Let me out!

0:32:49 > 0:32:56Well, if it's not my favourite trio of lunatics.

0:32:56 > 0:32:57Would you like to join us?

0:32:57 > 0:32:59HE CHUCKLES

0:32:59 > 0:33:01You're all late for tea!

0:33:03 > 0:33:05BOTH LAUGH

0:33:05 > 0:33:09We're looking for the girl called Alice.

0:33:09 > 0:33:13Speaking of the Queen, here is a little song we used to sing in her honour.

0:33:13 > 0:33:16ALL: # Twinkle, twinkle, little bat

0:33:16 > 0:33:19# How I wonder where you're at

0:33:19 > 0:33:20# Up a... #

0:33:20 > 0:33:24If you're hiding her, you'll lose your heads.

0:33:24 > 0:33:26- HOARSELY:- Already lost them.

0:33:26 > 0:33:27BOTH LAUGH

0:33:27 > 0:33:29All together now!

0:33:29 > 0:33:31ALL: # Up above the world you fly

0:33:31 > 0:33:33# Like a tea tray in the sky

0:33:33 > 0:33:35# Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle

0:33:35 > 0:33:38# Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle

0:33:38 > 0:33:40# Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle... #

0:33:40 > 0:33:41Oh!

0:33:41 > 0:33:44HE SNIFFS AND SNARLS

0:33:44 > 0:33:47Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid!

0:33:51 > 0:33:53Would you like some cream?

0:33:53 > 0:33:55LOUD BARKING

0:33:57 > 0:33:59Would you like a slice of Battenberg?

0:33:59 > 0:34:00Follow the bloodhound.

0:34:00 > 0:34:02- Sugar?- Yes, please.

0:34:02 > 0:34:04Oh, that's lovely.

0:34:04 > 0:34:06You're all mad.

0:34:06 > 0:34:08Thanks very much.

0:34:08 > 0:34:10CUP SMASHES

0:34:10 > 0:34:11Pass the scones, please.

0:34:14 > 0:34:16Oh! Pardon.

0:34:18 > 0:34:20One moment.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27HE CUTS THE CLOTH

0:34:27 > 0:34:29There. Yes.

0:34:29 > 0:34:31Try this on for size.

0:34:35 > 0:34:37ALICE KNOCKS ON TEAPOT

0:34:37 > 0:34:39Oh.

0:34:42 > 0:34:43I like it.

0:34:43 > 0:34:46Good thing the bloodhound is one of us, or you'd be...

0:34:46 > 0:34:48What do they want with me?

0:34:48 > 0:34:50Wait a minute, best take her to the White Queen.

0:34:50 > 0:34:53- She'll be safe there.- Spoon...

0:34:55 > 0:34:57Your carriage, milady.

0:34:57 > 0:34:59- The hat?- Of course.

0:34:59 > 0:35:01Anyone can go by horse or rail,

0:35:01 > 0:35:06but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme?

0:35:07 > 0:35:09Oh, I love travelling by hat.

0:35:09 > 0:35:13Mally. Just Alice, please. Fairfarren, all.

0:35:13 > 0:35:15What do you mean? Wait. Gae!

0:35:15 > 0:35:17CROCKERY SMASHES

0:35:17 > 0:35:18MALLY GIGGLES

0:35:20 > 0:35:25'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe

0:35:25 > 0:35:28All mimsy were the borogoves And the mome raths outgrabe.

0:35:28 > 0:35:31Sorry, what was that?

0:35:31 > 0:35:33What was what?

0:35:36 > 0:35:41The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame Jaws that bite and claws that catch!

0:35:41 > 0:35:45Beware the Jabberwock, my son! And the frumious Bandersnatch!

0:35:47 > 0:35:52He took his Vorpal sword in hand The Vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

0:35:52 > 0:35:57He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.

0:35:59 > 0:36:01It's all about you, you know.

0:36:01 > 0:36:07I'm not slaying anything. I don't slay, so put it out of your mind.

0:36:11 > 0:36:12Mind.

0:36:19 > 0:36:21Wait! You can't leave me here!

0:36:24 > 0:36:26You don't slay.

0:36:26 > 0:36:29Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done?

0:36:29 > 0:36:31You don't slay.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33I couldn't if I wanted to.

0:36:35 > 0:36:38You're not the same as you were before.

0:36:38 > 0:36:44You were much more muchier. You've lost your muchness.

0:36:44 > 0:36:46My "muchness"?

0:36:46 > 0:36:49In there. Something's missing.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51Tell me what Red Queen has done.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56It's not a pretty story.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58Tell me anyway.

0:37:09 > 0:37:11It was here.

0:37:12 > 0:37:14I was hatter to the White Queen at the time.

0:37:16 > 0:37:19Hightopp clan have always been employed at court.

0:37:23 > 0:37:25MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS

0:37:25 > 0:37:28PEOPLE CHATTERING

0:37:37 > 0:37:40ROARING

0:37:41 > 0:37:43PEOPLE SCREAM

0:38:16 > 0:38:19HORSE WHINNIES

0:39:06 > 0:39:08Hatter? Hatter!

0:39:09 > 0:39:11I'm fine.

0:39:11 > 0:39:13Are you?

0:39:13 > 0:39:15DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE

0:39:15 > 0:39:19Did you hear that? I'm certain I heard something.

0:39:19 > 0:39:20What?

0:39:20 > 0:39:21DOG BARKS

0:39:21 > 0:39:23Oh! Red Knights.

0:39:27 > 0:39:29DOG SNIFFS

0:39:33 > 0:39:35DOG BARKS

0:39:56 > 0:39:58Go south to Trotter's Bottom.

0:39:58 > 0:40:01The White Queen's castle is just beyond.

0:40:01 > 0:40:03Hold on tightly.

0:40:06 > 0:40:09Down with the bloody Red Queen!

0:40:56 > 0:40:58SNIFFING

0:41:05 > 0:41:09You were supposed to lead them away! The Hatter trusted you!

0:41:09 > 0:41:11They have my wife and pups.

0:41:11 > 0:41:14- What's your name?- Bayard.

0:41:14 > 0:41:15Sit!

0:41:18 > 0:41:20Would your name be Alice, by any chance?

0:41:20 > 0:41:23Yes, but I'm not the one that everyone's talking about.

0:41:23 > 0:41:27The Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.

0:41:27 > 0:41:28Where did they take him?

0:41:28 > 0:41:31To the Red Queen's castle at Salazen Grum.

0:41:31 > 0:41:33We're going to rescue him.

0:41:33 > 0:41:35That is not foretold.

0:41:35 > 0:41:39I don't care. He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me.

0:41:39 > 0:41:41The Frabjous Day is almost upon us.

0:41:41 > 0:41:44You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky.

0:41:44 > 0:41:46From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole,

0:41:46 > 0:41:49I've been told what I must do and who I must be.

0:41:49 > 0:41:52I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched and stuffed into a teapot.

0:41:52 > 0:41:57I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice, but this is my dream.

0:41:57 > 0:41:59I'll decide where it goes from here.

0:41:59 > 0:42:01If you diverge from the path...

0:42:01 > 0:42:03I make the path.

0:42:13 > 0:42:16Take me to Salazen Grum, Bayard, and don't forget the hat.

0:43:01 > 0:43:03There's only one way across.

0:43:09 > 0:43:11Lost my muchness, have I?

0:43:53 > 0:43:55Bayard! The hat!

0:44:24 > 0:44:26Your Majesty.

0:44:26 > 0:44:28FLAMINGO SQUAWKS

0:44:32 > 0:44:34THEY SQUEAK

0:44:34 > 0:44:36So sorry.

0:44:44 > 0:44:46Splendid shot!

0:44:49 > 0:44:52- Where's my ball? Page! - Yes, Your Majesty.

0:44:52 > 0:44:55THEY SQUEAK

0:44:55 > 0:44:57(I want to help you.)

0:44:59 > 0:45:01RUSTLING

0:45:02 > 0:45:04Well, if it isn't the wrong Alice.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07What brings you here? Mmm?

0:45:07 > 0:45:09I've come to rescue the Hatter.

0:45:09 > 0:45:12You're not rescuing anyone being the size of a gerbil.

0:45:12 > 0:45:14Well, do you have any more of that cake that made me grow before?

0:45:14 > 0:45:17Upelkuchen? Actually, I might have some left.

0:45:26 > 0:45:28Not all of it!

0:45:28 > 0:45:32Oh, no! Stop! No, no, no, don't. Don't do that!

0:45:32 > 0:45:33< Page!

0:45:35 > 0:45:37Oh, dear.

0:45:42 > 0:45:44And what is this?

0:45:44 > 0:45:48It... It's a "who", Majesty. This is, um...

0:45:49 > 0:45:51Um?

0:45:51 > 0:45:53From Umbradge.

0:45:53 > 0:45:55What happened to your clothes?

0:45:55 > 0:45:59I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately.

0:45:59 > 0:46:04I tower over everyone in Umbradge. They laugh at me.

0:46:04 > 0:46:07So I've come to you, hoping you might understand what it's like.

0:46:07 > 0:46:09My dear girl,

0:46:09 > 0:46:12anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court.

0:46:12 > 0:46:14Someone find her some clothes!

0:46:14 > 0:46:18Use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl.

0:46:25 > 0:46:27I need a pig here!

0:46:29 > 0:46:31PIG GRUNTS

0:46:31 > 0:46:33RED QUEEN SIGHS

0:46:33 > 0:46:36I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet.

0:46:36 > 0:46:39- Would you like one, Um? - No, thank you.

0:46:39 > 0:46:41Sit!

0:46:41 > 0:46:42CHITTERING

0:46:42 > 0:46:44Sit!

0:46:47 > 0:46:48Go away.

0:46:51 > 0:46:54Where are my fat boys? You must meet them.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56Fat boys!

0:46:58 > 0:47:01Oh. There they are. Aren't they adorable?

0:47:01 > 0:47:05They have the oddest way of speaking. Speak, boys. Amuse us.

0:47:06 > 0:47:07Go on.

0:47:10 > 0:47:11SHE MOUTHS

0:47:11 > 0:47:13Speak!

0:47:13 > 0:47:17- Is that being... - No, no, it isn't. Not a bit. No.

0:47:17 > 0:47:19Contrariwise, I believe it's so.

0:47:19 > 0:47:21No, it ain't so, nohow!

0:47:21 > 0:47:23RED QUEEN CACKLES

0:47:23 > 0:47:26I love my fat boys. Now, get out.

0:47:34 > 0:47:37- He did pinch me. - He did pinch me.

0:47:38 > 0:47:40SHE GASPS

0:47:55 > 0:47:58And who is this lovely creature?

0:48:01 > 0:48:03Um, my new favourite.

0:48:03 > 0:48:04- Well, does she have a name?- Um.

0:48:04 > 0:48:08I believe your name has slipped the Queen's mind.

0:48:08 > 0:48:09Her name is Um, idiot!

0:48:11 > 0:48:13From Umbradge.

0:48:13 > 0:48:14Any luck with the prisoner?

0:48:14 > 0:48:17He's stubborn.

0:48:17 > 0:48:20You're too soft. ..Bring him!

0:48:22 > 0:48:24DOOR CREAKS

0:48:27 > 0:48:29PIG SQUEALS

0:48:36 > 0:48:39SHACKLES RATTLE

0:48:43 > 0:48:46We know Alice has returned to Underland.

0:48:46 > 0:48:47Do you know where she is?

0:48:49 > 0:48:53I've been considering things that begin with the letter "M".

0:48:53 > 0:49:00Moron, mutiny, murder, m-m-malice.

0:49:00 > 0:49:04We're looking for an "A" word now. Where is Alice?

0:49:04 > 0:49:07Who, that wee little boy? I wouldn't know.

0:49:08 > 0:49:11What if I take off your head? Will you know then?

0:49:11 > 0:49:13HE LAUGHS MANICALLY

0:49:13 > 0:49:15Stop that.

0:49:15 > 0:49:18What a regrettably large head you have.

0:49:18 > 0:49:20I should very much like to hat it.

0:49:20 > 0:49:22- Hat it?- Yes.

0:49:22 > 0:49:24I used to hat the White Queen, you know.

0:49:24 > 0:49:26Wasn't very much to work with, poor dear.

0:49:26 > 0:49:28Her head is so small.

0:49:28 > 0:49:30It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.

0:49:30 > 0:49:32But this...

0:49:32 > 0:49:38What I could do with this monument, this orb...

0:49:38 > 0:49:44Nay, this magnificently heroic globe.

0:49:47 > 0:49:49What could you do?

0:49:50 > 0:49:53Unbind him, Stayne.

0:49:53 > 0:49:55How can he work if his hands are bound?

0:50:03 > 0:50:07Well, then, shall it be a bonnet or a boater?

0:50:07 > 0:50:09Or something for the boudoir?

0:50:09 > 0:50:16Cloche, dunce hat, death cap, coif, snood, barboosh, pugree, yarmulke,

0:50:16 > 0:50:19cockle hat, porkpie, tam o'shanter, billycock, bicorne, tricorne, bandeau,

0:50:19 > 0:50:23- bongrace, fan-tail, night cap, Garibaldi, fez...- Hatter!

0:50:23 > 0:50:24Fez?

0:50:28 > 0:50:30Leave us.

0:50:41 > 0:50:43The trees seem sad.

0:50:43 > 0:50:45- Have you been speaking with them? - Yes, Your Majesty.

0:50:45 > 0:50:48Perhaps a bit more kindly.

0:50:50 > 0:50:54Would you all excuse me for a moment? Thank you.

0:51:03 > 0:51:08- What news, Bayard? - Alice has returned to Underland.

0:51:08 > 0:51:11- Where is she now?- In Salazen Grum.

0:51:11 > 0:51:16Forgive me. I allowed her to divert from her destined path.

0:51:16 > 0:51:17No, no, no, no.

0:51:17 > 0:51:20But that is exactly where she will find the Vorpal sword.

0:51:20 > 0:51:25We have our champion. Rest now. You've done well.

0:51:38 > 0:51:39IT SQUEAKS

0:51:41 > 0:51:44Have you seen a hat around here?

0:51:57 > 0:51:59You must find Alice, Stayne.

0:51:59 > 0:52:00Without the Jabberwocky,

0:52:00 > 0:52:03my sister's followers will surely rise against me.

0:52:04 > 0:52:07Ugly little sister. Why do they adore her and not me?

0:52:07 > 0:52:14I cannot fathom it. You are far superior in all ways.

0:52:14 > 0:52:15I know.

0:52:15 > 0:52:18But Mirana can make anyone fall in love with her.

0:52:18 > 0:52:21Men, women...

0:52:21 > 0:52:23ANIMALS GRUNT

0:52:24 > 0:52:26..even the furniture.

0:52:28 > 0:52:30Even the King?

0:52:37 > 0:52:39I had to do it. He would have left me.

0:52:42 > 0:52:48Majesty, is it not better to be feared than loved?

0:52:50 > 0:52:52Not certain any more.

0:52:54 > 0:52:57Oh, let her have the rabble. I don't need them.

0:52:57 > 0:52:59I have you.

0:53:17 > 0:53:19They're wonderful.

0:53:20 > 0:53:23You must let me try one on.

0:53:23 > 0:53:26It is good to be working at my trade again.

0:53:27 > 0:53:30It's just a pity you have to make them for her.

0:53:35 > 0:53:37What is the hatter with me?

0:53:38 > 0:53:40Hatter?

0:53:44 > 0:53:46THUNDER CRASHES

0:53:50 > 0:53:52Hatter.

0:53:52 > 0:53:56Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?

0:53:57 > 0:53:59I'm frightened, Alice.

0:53:59 > 0:54:02I don't like it in here. It's terribly crowded.

0:54:05 > 0:54:07Have I gone mad?

0:54:11 > 0:54:14I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers.

0:54:16 > 0:54:20But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

0:54:27 > 0:54:29Here.

0:54:32 > 0:54:35That's better. You look yourself again.

0:54:37 > 0:54:39- RED QUEEN:- Hat man! Where are my hats?

0:54:39 > 0:54:41I'm not a patient monarch!

0:54:41 > 0:54:43I'm told she keeps the Vorpal sword hidden in the castle.

0:54:43 > 0:54:45The rabbit will help you.

0:54:45 > 0:54:48- Find it, Alice. - Take it to the White Queen.

0:54:48 > 0:54:50We'll go to the White Queen together.

0:54:50 > 0:54:54Why is it you're always too small or too tall?

0:55:06 > 0:55:08- Tweedles.- Alice.

0:55:08 > 0:55:10- How do you do, again? - Where's the rabbit?

0:55:10 > 0:55:12How is it you're being so great big?

0:55:12 > 0:55:14She ain't great big, this is how she normal is.

0:55:14 > 0:55:16I'm certain she's smaller when we met.

0:55:16 > 0:55:20No, she drank the pishsalver to get through the door, recall it?

0:55:20 > 0:55:21Oh, yeah.

0:55:21 > 0:55:23- Where's the rabbit? - BOTH: Over theres.

0:55:32 > 0:55:34- MALLY:- What are you doing here? - I'm rescuing the Hatter.

0:55:34 > 0:55:36- I'm- rescuing the Hatter.

0:55:36 > 0:55:38He told me that the Vorpal sword is hidden in the castle.

0:55:38 > 0:55:39Help me find it.

0:55:39 > 0:55:42I don't take orders from big, clumsy, galumphing...

0:55:42 > 0:55:44Shoo!

0:55:47 > 0:55:51- What is it, McTwisp? - I know where the sword is.

0:55:56 > 0:55:57THUNDER RUMBLES

0:55:57 > 0:55:59The sword's hidden inside.

0:56:01 > 0:56:02Be careful, Alice.

0:56:12 > 0:56:13I know that smell.

0:56:16 > 0:56:19SNORING

0:56:22 > 0:56:24I'm not going in there.

0:56:25 > 0:56:27Look what that thing did to my arm.

0:56:27 > 0:56:31Dear, oh, dear. Why haven't you mentioned this?

0:56:31 > 0:56:34It wasn't this bad before.

0:56:34 > 0:56:36HE HYPERVENTILATES

0:56:47 > 0:56:51Hatter? Where are you?

0:56:53 > 0:56:55Hatter?

0:56:55 > 0:56:57Mallymkun.

0:56:57 > 0:56:59Do you still have the Bandersnatch eye?

0:56:59 > 0:57:02Right here.

0:57:02 > 0:57:04- I need it.- Come and get it.

0:57:06 > 0:57:08Hey! Give it back!

0:57:19 > 0:57:21I like you, Um.

0:57:23 > 0:57:25I like largeness.

0:57:26 > 0:57:28Get away from me.

0:57:34 > 0:57:36SNORING

0:57:38 > 0:57:40DOOR CREAKS

0:57:44 > 0:57:46I have your eye.

0:57:46 > 0:57:49IT GROWLS

0:58:19 > 0:58:22LOCK RATTLES

0:58:22 > 0:58:24SNARLING

0:58:30 > 0:58:32SHE GROANS

0:58:56 > 0:58:58No.

0:59:00 > 0:59:03- Hmm. - MAN: You look stunning in that hat.

0:59:03 > 0:59:05Yes. Next.

0:59:09 > 0:59:11Your Majesty has never looked better.

0:59:11 > 0:59:13- Hmm.- Another.

0:59:21 > 0:59:22Oh!

0:59:24 > 0:59:26I don't wish to alarm you,

0:59:26 > 0:59:29but it smells as though you might have dropped something.

0:59:32 > 0:59:33HE LAUGHS

0:59:41 > 0:59:43Never mind him, he's mad. Come along.

0:59:45 > 0:59:47SHE WHISPERS

0:59:49 > 0:59:52Stayne!

1:00:13 > 1:00:15IT GROWLS

1:00:44 > 1:00:46I suppose this makes us even now.

1:01:25 > 1:01:27Um forced herself on me.

1:01:27 > 1:01:33I told her my heart belongs to you, but she's obsessed with me.

1:01:38 > 1:01:40Off with her head!

1:01:43 > 1:01:45Stand back, Mallymkun.

1:01:45 > 1:01:46How's this for muchness?

1:01:46 > 1:01:49No, no! It mustn't be used for anything...

1:01:50 > 1:01:54Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction!

1:01:54 > 1:01:55Hatter!

1:01:56 > 1:02:00- Take it to the White Queen. - I'm not leaving without you.- Go!

1:02:25 > 1:02:27Run, Alice!

1:02:30 > 1:02:31Alice?

1:02:32 > 1:02:34Run!

1:02:39 > 1:02:40Seize her.

1:02:52 > 1:02:53Alice.

1:02:54 > 1:02:56Of course. Why didn't I see it?

1:02:56 > 1:03:02Well, it has been a long time, and you were such a little tyke then.

1:03:03 > 1:03:06- Give me the sword.- Stay back.

1:03:06 > 1:03:08The Queen will be so pleased.

1:03:08 > 1:03:12She will take great pleasure in taking off your head.

1:03:14 > 1:03:16LOUD ROARING

1:03:31 > 1:03:35- Oh, Alice! - Bayard! To Marmoreal.

1:03:35 > 1:03:37HE BARKS

1:03:37 > 1:03:39HE ROARS

1:03:43 > 1:03:46Majesty, Alice has escaped...

1:03:50 > 1:03:53..on the Bandersnatch...

1:03:55 > 1:03:58..with the Vorpal sword.

1:04:00 > 1:04:03How could you let this happen?

1:04:03 > 1:04:09I may have underestimated her, but we have her conspirators,

1:04:09 > 1:04:14the Hatter and a dormouse.

1:04:14 > 1:04:15Off with their heads!

1:04:34 > 1:04:35Welcome to Marmoreal.

1:04:35 > 1:04:37I believe this belongs to you.

1:04:45 > 1:04:46Mmm.

1:04:50 > 1:04:53The Vorpal sword is home again.

1:04:55 > 1:04:58The armour is complete.

1:05:00 > 1:05:03Now all we need is a champion.

1:05:05 > 1:05:07You're a little taller than I thought you'd be.

1:05:07 > 1:05:10Blame it on too much upelkuchen.

1:05:10 > 1:05:12Oh. Come with me.

1:05:18 > 1:05:19Is the March Hare here?

1:05:19 > 1:05:22You're late for your soup, you wee besom.

1:05:22 > 1:05:24- You're late for your soup. - Could use some salt.

1:05:24 > 1:05:26Come here, you!

1:05:26 > 1:05:29Give me that here. Choppy, chop, chop, chop.

1:05:29 > 1:05:31Leek and potato. Yes. That would be...

1:05:31 > 1:05:32WHITE QUEEN SIGHS

1:05:32 > 1:05:36Pishsalver. Let me think.

1:05:36 > 1:05:39A pinch of worm fat...

1:05:40 > 1:05:42..urine of the horsefly...

1:05:44 > 1:05:46..buttered fingers.

1:05:51 > 1:05:56My sister preferred to study Dominion Over Living Things.

1:05:57 > 1:05:59SIZZLING

1:05:59 > 1:06:01Tell me, how does she seem to you?

1:06:01 > 1:06:02Perfectly horrid.

1:06:04 > 1:06:08- And her...head?- Bulbous.

1:06:09 > 1:06:12I think she may have some kind of growth in there,

1:06:12 > 1:06:14something pressing on her brain.

1:06:14 > 1:06:16Three coins from a dead man's pocket,

1:06:16 > 1:06:20two teaspoons of wishful thinking.

1:06:20 > 1:06:23You can't imagine the things that go on in that place.

1:06:23 > 1:06:25Oh, yes, I can.

1:06:25 > 1:06:31But when a champion steps forth to slay the Jabberwocky,

1:06:31 > 1:06:33the people will rise against her.

1:06:33 > 1:06:35SHE SPITS

1:06:35 > 1:06:37That should do it.

1:06:40 > 1:06:42Blow.

1:06:55 > 1:06:58- Feel better?- Much, thank you.

1:06:58 > 1:07:01There's someone here who would like to speak with you.

1:07:20 > 1:07:22- Absolem?- Who are you?

1:07:24 > 1:07:26HE COUGHS

1:07:26 > 1:07:31I thought we'd settled this. I'm Alice, but not that one.

1:07:31 > 1:07:34- How do you know? - You said so yourself.

1:07:34 > 1:07:36I said you were not hardly Alice,

1:07:36 > 1:07:38but you're much more her now.

1:07:38 > 1:07:41In fact, you're almost Alice.

1:07:41 > 1:07:43Even so,

1:07:43 > 1:07:46I couldn't slay the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it.

1:07:46 > 1:07:47It will.

1:07:48 > 1:07:51So I suggest you keep the Vorpal sword on hand

1:07:51 > 1:07:52when the Frabjous Day arrives.

1:07:52 > 1:07:55You seem so real.

1:07:56 > 1:07:59Sometimes I forget that this is all a dream.

1:08:00 > 1:08:02SHE SPLUTTERS

1:08:02 > 1:08:03Will you stop doing that?

1:08:03 > 1:08:05HE LAUGHS

1:08:19 > 1:08:21WHOOSHING

1:08:21 > 1:08:24I've always admired that hat.

1:08:25 > 1:08:27Hello, Chess.

1:08:27 > 1:08:30Since you won't be needing it any more...

1:08:31 > 1:08:34..would you consider bequeathing it to me?

1:08:34 > 1:08:36How dare you?

1:08:36 > 1:08:40It is a formal execution. I would like to look my best, you know.

1:08:40 > 1:08:42It is a pity about all this.

1:08:42 > 1:08:46I was looking forward to seeing you Futterwacken.

1:08:46 > 1:08:48I was rather good at it, was I not?

1:08:48 > 1:08:51I really do love that hat.

1:08:52 > 1:08:55I would wear it to all the finest occasions.

1:09:02 > 1:09:05I love a morning execution, don't you?

1:09:05 > 1:09:07ALL: Yes, Your Majesty.

1:09:07 > 1:09:10BELL TOLLS

1:09:48 > 1:09:51- I'd like to keep it on. - Suit yourself.

1:09:51 > 1:09:54As long as I can get at your neck.

1:09:56 > 1:09:57I'm right behind you.

1:09:57 > 1:09:59Off with his head!

1:09:59 > 1:10:01I can't watch.

1:10:33 > 1:10:35Good morning, everyone.

1:10:35 > 1:10:38Chess, you dog.

1:10:40 > 1:10:43Madam, you are being heinously bamboozled

1:10:43 > 1:10:46by these lickspittle toadies you surround yourselves with.

1:10:48 > 1:10:50HE LAUGHS

1:10:50 > 1:10:51What is that?

1:10:51 > 1:10:54I'm not the only one, Majesty. Look!

1:10:54 > 1:10:56A counterfeit nose. You should be ashamed.

1:10:56 > 1:11:00Me? What about that big belly you're so proud of?

1:11:00 > 1:11:02HE GASPS

1:11:03 > 1:11:07Liars! Cheats!

1:11:07 > 1:11:11Falsifiers! Off with their heads!

1:11:15 > 1:11:18The abused and enslaved in the Red Queen's court,

1:11:18 > 1:11:21all of you stand up and fight!

1:11:21 > 1:11:25Rise up against the bloody Red Queen.

1:11:26 > 1:11:29ALL: Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid!

1:11:29 > 1:11:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1:11:35 > 1:11:38Release the Jubjub Bird!

1:11:38 > 1:11:40THEY ALL GASP

1:11:43 > 1:11:45IT SCREECHES

1:11:51 > 1:11:54SCREAMING

1:12:01 > 1:12:02You're right, Stayne,

1:12:02 > 1:12:06it is far better to be feared than loved.

1:12:10 > 1:12:12Come, boys. Quickly! Come on!

1:12:15 > 1:12:19- Hatter!- Come on, Mally, quickly. Come on. Come on.

1:12:21 > 1:12:23Prepare the Jabberwocky for battle.

1:12:23 > 1:12:26We're going to visit my little sister.

1:12:36 > 1:12:38I had hoped to have a champion by now.

1:12:41 > 1:12:43Why don't you slay the Jabberwocky yourself?

1:12:43 > 1:12:45You must have the power.

1:12:45 > 1:12:48It is against my vows to harm any living creature.

1:12:48 > 1:12:50FLY BUZZES

1:12:57 > 1:12:59We have company.

1:13:08 > 1:13:09Have a look, Bayard.

1:13:12 > 1:13:14BAYARD: Bielle.

1:13:16 > 1:13:19HE BARKS

1:13:21 > 1:13:23I'm so happy to see you. I thought they were going to...

1:13:23 > 1:13:27So did I. But they didn't, and now here I am, still in one piece.

1:13:27 > 1:13:30And I'm rather glad about that now that I'm seeing you again.

1:13:30 > 1:13:31I would have regretted not seeing you again,

1:13:31 > 1:13:34especially now that you're you, and the proper size.

1:13:34 > 1:13:37It's a good size. It's a great size. It's a right proper Alice size!

1:13:37 > 1:13:41- Hatter.- Size. Fez. I'm fine.

1:13:41 > 1:13:43Where's your hat?

1:13:46 > 1:13:47Mmm.

1:13:48 > 1:13:51- Cheshire.- How's the arm, love?

1:13:51 > 1:13:53All healed.

1:13:53 > 1:13:55Goodbye, sweet hat.

1:14:14 > 1:14:18Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?

1:14:21 > 1:14:23Let me think about it.

1:14:24 > 1:14:27You know what tomorrow is, don't you?

1:14:30 > 1:14:32Frabjous Day. How could I forget?

1:14:33 > 1:14:35Wish I'd wake up.

1:14:37 > 1:14:40- Still believe this is a dream, do you?- Of course.

1:14:41 > 1:14:44This has all come from my own mind.

1:14:46 > 1:14:49Which would mean that I'm not real.

1:14:53 > 1:14:57Afraid so. You're just a figment of my imagination.

1:14:59 > 1:15:02I would dream up someone who's half-mad.

1:15:02 > 1:15:06Yes, yes. But you would have to be half-mad to dream me up.

1:15:09 > 1:15:11I must be, then.

1:15:15 > 1:15:17I'll miss you when I wake up.

1:15:29 > 1:15:32HE PLAYS A FANFARE

1:15:32 > 1:15:36Who will step forth to be champion for the White Queen?

1:15:37 > 1:15:39That would be I.

1:15:41 > 1:15:45You have very poor evaporating skills. I should be the one.

1:15:45 > 1:15:47I'll do it.

1:15:47 > 1:15:49No, me.

1:15:49 > 1:15:51No, me.

1:16:07 > 1:16:09No other slayer, nohow.

1:16:09 > 1:16:12If it ain't Alice, it ain't dead.

1:16:17 > 1:16:22Alice, you cannot live your life to please others.

1:16:22 > 1:16:26The choice must be yours,

1:16:26 > 1:16:30because when you step out to face that creature...

1:16:30 > 1:16:32you will step out alone.

1:17:05 > 1:17:08Nothing was ever accomplished with tears.

1:17:10 > 1:17:11Absolem?

1:17:12 > 1:17:14Why are you upside down?

1:17:14 > 1:17:17I've come to the end of this life.

1:17:17 > 1:17:21- You're going to die?- Transform.

1:17:21 > 1:17:24Don't go. I need your help. I don't know what to do.

1:17:24 > 1:17:28I can't help you if you don't even know who you are, stupid girl.

1:17:28 > 1:17:30I'm not stupid.

1:17:30 > 1:17:33My name is Alice. I live in London.

1:17:33 > 1:17:35I have a mother named Helen and a sister named Margaret.

1:17:35 > 1:17:37My father was Charles Kingsleigh.

1:17:37 > 1:17:40He had a vision that stretched halfway around the world,

1:17:40 > 1:17:42and nothing ever stopped him.

1:17:42 > 1:17:45I'm his daughter. I'm Alice Kingsleigh.

1:17:45 > 1:17:49Alice, at last.

1:17:49 > 1:17:51You were just as dim-witted the first time you were here.

1:17:51 > 1:17:54You called it "Wonderland", as I recall.

1:17:56 > 1:17:58Wonderland.

1:17:58 > 1:18:02- What do you call yourself? - Alice.

1:18:02 > 1:18:04THE Alice?

1:18:04 > 1:18:07I'll take you to the Hare and the Hatter, but that's the end of it.

1:18:07 > 1:18:09She's the right one. I'm certain of it.

1:18:09 > 1:18:11Ah, Thackery, not at the table, please.

1:18:11 > 1:18:12Have some tea.

1:18:12 > 1:18:15You're not Absolem, I'm Absolem, stupid girl.

1:18:15 > 1:18:16SHE COUGHS

1:18:16 > 1:18:19- What is this? - I'm Tweedledee, he's Tweedledum.

1:18:19 > 1:18:21Contrariwise, I'm Tweedledum, he's Tweedledee.

1:18:21 > 1:18:23You'd think she would remember all this from the first time.

1:18:23 > 1:18:26Curiouser and curiouser.

1:18:26 > 1:18:30It wasn't a dream at all, it was a memory.

1:18:30 > 1:18:34This place is real, and so are you and so is the Hatter.

1:18:34 > 1:18:37And the Jabberwocky.

1:18:37 > 1:18:40Remember, the Vorpal sword knows what it wants.

1:18:40 > 1:18:43All you have to do is hold onto it.

1:18:45 > 1:18:51Fairfarren, Alice. Perhaps I will see you in another life.

1:19:26 > 1:19:28HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

1:20:46 > 1:20:51- Hello, Iracebeth. - Hello...Mirana.

1:20:51 > 1:20:53HE PLAYS A FANFARE

1:20:53 > 1:20:58On this, the Frabjous Day, the Queens Red and White

1:20:58 > 1:21:03shall send forth their champions to do battle on their behalf.

1:21:03 > 1:21:07Oh, Racie. We don't have to fight.

1:21:09 > 1:21:11I know what you're doing.

1:21:11 > 1:21:15You think you can blink those pretty little eyes

1:21:15 > 1:21:17and I'll melt, just like Mummy and Daddy did.

1:21:19 > 1:21:21Please.

1:21:22 > 1:21:25No! It is my crown!

1:21:25 > 1:21:27I am the eldest!

1:21:27 > 1:21:29Jabberwocky!

1:21:43 > 1:21:45HE WHIMPERS

1:21:54 > 1:21:55HE GASPS

1:22:10 > 1:22:12IT ROARS

1:22:15 > 1:22:17This is impossible.

1:22:17 > 1:22:19Only if you believe it is.

1:22:25 > 1:22:30Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

1:22:30 > 1:22:33That is an excellent practice.

1:22:35 > 1:22:38However, just at the moment...

1:22:38 > 1:22:42you really might want to focus on the Jabberwocky.

1:22:47 > 1:22:49Where's your champion, sister?

1:22:51 > 1:22:53Here.

1:22:54 > 1:22:56Hello, Um.

1:23:09 > 1:23:13Six impossible things. Count them, Alice.

1:23:16 > 1:23:19One, there's a potion that can make you shrink.

1:23:21 > 1:23:23IT ROARS

1:23:23 > 1:23:26Two, and a cake that can make you grow.

1:23:26 > 1:23:33So, my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again.

1:23:33 > 1:23:35We've never met.

1:23:35 > 1:23:38Not you, insignificant bearer.

1:23:38 > 1:23:43My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one.

1:23:43 > 1:23:46That's enough chatter.

1:23:46 > 1:23:48JABBERWOCKY SHRIEKS

1:23:52 > 1:23:56Three, animals can talk.

1:24:00 > 1:24:02Four, Alice...

1:24:04 > 1:24:07..cats can disappear.

1:24:08 > 1:24:09Five...

1:24:12 > 1:24:15..there's a place called Wonderland.

1:24:15 > 1:24:17Six,

1:24:17 > 1:24:20I can slay the Jabberwocky.

1:24:34 > 1:24:36JABBERWOCKY ROARS

1:24:44 > 1:24:46The Hatter's interfering! Off with his head!

1:25:17 > 1:25:20IT SCREECHES

1:25:26 > 1:25:29BANDERSNATCH ROARS

1:25:58 > 1:26:01JABBERWOCKY SCREECHES

1:27:07 > 1:27:10Off with your head!

1:27:40 > 1:27:42Kill her!

1:27:42 > 1:27:45We follow you no more, Bloody Big Head.

1:27:45 > 1:27:48How dare you? Off with his head!

1:28:28 > 1:28:30Iracebeth of Crims,

1:28:30 > 1:28:33your crimes against Underland are worthy of death.

1:28:35 > 1:28:38However, that is against my vows...

1:28:39 > 1:28:42..therefore, you are banished to the Outlands.

1:28:42 > 1:28:46No-one is to show you any kindness, or ever speak a word to you.

1:28:49 > 1:28:52You will not have a friend in the world.

1:28:53 > 1:28:57Majesty, I hope you bear me no ill will.

1:29:01 > 1:29:03Only this one, Ilosovic Stayne,

1:29:03 > 1:29:05you are to join Iracebeth in banishment

1:29:05 > 1:29:08from this day until the end of Underland.

1:29:11 > 1:29:14At least we have each other.

1:29:18 > 1:29:19SHE GASPS

1:29:25 > 1:29:30Majesty, please! Kill me! Please!

1:29:30 > 1:29:32But I do not owe you a kindness.

1:29:32 > 1:29:36- Take off my head! - He tried to kill me.

1:29:36 > 1:29:39- Majesty! Please! Please! - He tried to kill me.

1:29:39 > 1:29:41- I offer you my head! - He tried to kill me!

1:29:41 > 1:29:44Oh, the Frabjous Day! Callou! Callay!

1:29:44 > 1:29:47MUSIC PLAYS

1:29:50 > 1:29:53- What is he doing? - Futterwacken.

1:30:11 > 1:30:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

1:30:14 > 1:30:17- Futterwacken? - BOTH: It's good.

1:30:31 > 1:30:33SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

1:30:38 > 1:30:43Blood of the Jabberwocky. You have our everlasting gratitude.

1:30:43 > 1:30:45And for your efforts on our behalf...

1:30:49 > 1:30:53- Will this take me home? - If that is what you choose.

1:31:18 > 1:31:19You could stay.

1:31:23 > 1:31:27What an idea. A crazy, mad, wonderful idea.

1:31:32 > 1:31:34But I can't.

1:31:35 > 1:31:39There are questions I have to answer, things I have to do.

1:31:47 > 1:31:49Be back again before you know it.

1:31:51 > 1:31:53You won't remember me.

1:31:53 > 1:31:56Of course I will. How could I forget?

1:32:01 > 1:32:05Hatter, why IS a raven like a writing desk?

1:32:07 > 1:32:09I haven't the slightest idea.

1:32:14 > 1:32:15Fairfarren, Alice.

1:32:57 > 1:33:00PEOPLE CHATTERING

1:33:00 > 1:33:04She left me standing there without an answer.

1:33:04 > 1:33:06A case of nerves, no doubt.

1:33:09 > 1:33:13- Alice.- Good Lord. Are you all right?

1:33:13 > 1:33:17- What happened to you? - I fell down a hole and hit my head.

1:33:17 > 1:33:19I'm sorry, Hamish. I can't marry you.

1:33:19 > 1:33:22You're not the right man for me.

1:33:22 > 1:33:25And there's that trouble with your digestion.

1:33:27 > 1:33:29I love you, Margaret, but this is my life.

1:33:29 > 1:33:31I'll decide what to do with it.

1:33:34 > 1:33:38You're lucky to have my sister for your wife, Lowell,

1:33:38 > 1:33:41and you be good to her. I'll be watching very closely.

1:33:43 > 1:33:46There is no prince, Aunt Imogene.

1:33:46 > 1:33:50You need to talk to someone about these delusions.

1:33:51 > 1:33:55I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones.

1:33:56 > 1:33:59Don't worry, Mother,

1:33:59 > 1:34:02I'll find something useful to do with my life.

1:34:03 > 1:34:07You two remind me of some funny boys I met in a dream.

1:34:08 > 1:34:13- You've left me out. - No, I haven't, sir.

1:34:13 > 1:34:15You and I have business to discuss.

1:34:15 > 1:34:18Shall we speak in the study?

1:34:24 > 1:34:26Oh. And one more thing.

1:34:28 > 1:34:29THEY ALL GASP

1:34:33 > 1:34:35My father told me

1:34:35 > 1:34:39he planned to expand his trade route to Sumatra and Borneo,

1:34:39 > 1:34:42but I don't think he was looking far enough.

1:34:42 > 1:34:44Why not go all the way to China?

1:34:44 > 1:34:48It's vast, the culture is rich, and we have a foothold in Hong Kong.

1:34:48 > 1:34:52To be the first to trade with China, can you imagine it?

1:34:54 > 1:34:56You know, if anybody else had said that to me,

1:34:56 > 1:34:59I'd say, "You've lost your senses."

1:34:59 > 1:35:02But I've seen that look before.

1:35:03 > 1:35:05Well, as you're not going to be my daughter-in-law,

1:35:05 > 1:35:09perhaps you'd consider becoming an apprentice with the company.

1:35:47 > 1:35:49Hello, Absolem.

1:36:04 > 1:36:08# Tripping out, spinning around

1:36:08 > 1:36:13# I'm underground I fell down

1:36:14 > 1:36:17# Yeah, I fell down

1:36:19 > 1:36:23# I'm freaking out Where am I now?

1:36:23 > 1:36:30# Upside down and I can't stop it now

1:36:30 > 1:36:34# Can't stop me now

1:36:39 > 1:36:45# I, I'll get by

1:36:47 > 1:36:53# I, I'll survive

1:36:55 > 1:36:58# When the world's crashing down When I fall and hit the ground

1:36:58 > 1:37:02# I will turn myself around Don't you try to stop me

1:37:02 > 1:37:09# I, I won't cry

1:37:12 > 1:37:18# I found myself in Wonderland

1:37:19 > 1:37:26# Get back on my feet, the ground

1:37:28 > 1:37:32# Is this real?

1:37:32 > 1:37:35# Is it pretend?

1:37:35 > 1:37:41# I'll take a stand until the end

1:37:45 > 1:37:51# I, I'll get by

1:37:52 > 1:37:59# I, I'll survive

1:38:00 > 1:38:04# When the world's crashing down When I fall and hit the ground

1:38:04 > 1:38:08# I will turn myself around Don't you try to stop me

1:38:08 > 1:38:14# I, I won't cry... #