Synecdoche, New York

0:00:01 > 0:00:05This film contains strong language.

0:00:05 > 0:00:08# There's a place I long to be

0:00:08 > 0:00:11# A certain town that's dear to me

0:00:11 > 0:00:15# Home to Mohawks and GE

0:00:15 > 0:00:17# It's called Schenectady

0:00:17 > 0:00:21# I was born there and I'll die there

0:00:21 > 0:00:23# My first home I hope to buy there

0:00:23 > 0:00:27# Have a kid, Or at least try, there

0:00:27 > 0:00:29# Sweet Schenectady

0:00:29 > 0:00:33# And when I'm buried

0:00:33 > 0:00:35# And I'm dead

0:00:35 > 0:00:39# Upstate worms will eat my head... #

0:00:40 > 0:00:43RADIO: 'It's the 22nd of September in Schenectady.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45'And it's the first day of fall.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48'So in honour of that fact, we have Elke Putzkammer,

0:00:48 > 0:00:50'professor of literature at Union College,

0:00:50 > 0:00:52'to talk about autumn in poetry and literature.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- 'Good morning, professor.' - 'Hi, Alex.'

0:00:54 > 0:00:58'So, what about it? Why do so many people write about the fall?'

0:00:58 > 0:01:01'Well, I think it's seen as the beginning of the end, really.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03'If the year is a life,

0:01:03 > 0:01:05'then September, the beginning of autumn

0:01:05 > 0:01:08'is when the bloom is off the rose and things start to die.

0:01:08 > 0:01:12'It's a melancholy month and maybe because of that, quite beautiful.'

0:01:12 > 0:01:15'Is there something you might read to us?'

0:01:15 > 0:01:16'Oh, I'd love to.'

0:01:16 > 0:01:20'Whoever has no house now Will never have one

0:01:20 > 0:01:23'Whoever is alone will stay alone

0:01:23 > 0:01:28'Will sit, read, write long letters through the evening

0:01:28 > 0:01:30'And wander the boulevards

0:01:30 > 0:01:32'Up and down, restlessly

0:01:32 > 0:01:34'While the dry leaves are blowing.'

0:01:34 > 0:01:36'Goodness, that's harsh, isn't it?'

0:01:36 > 0:01:38'Well, perhaps.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40'But truthful.'

0:01:41 > 0:01:43SHE COUGHS

0:01:43 > 0:01:45Mommy, done!

0:01:45 > 0:01:47OK.

0:01:48 > 0:01:51- Good morning. - Morning. I tried not to wake you.

0:01:51 > 0:01:54Well, thanks. You didn't. I just, you know, couldn't get up.

0:01:54 > 0:01:57PHONE RINGS

0:02:01 > 0:02:03- Caden, can you get that? - It's Maria, I don't want to.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Caden... Oh, that's weird.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07'Hey, it's me. How are you?'

0:02:07 > 0:02:10Mommy, is something wrong with my poop?

0:02:10 > 0:02:13No, honey, it's just green. You probably ate something green.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15I didn't. What's wrong with me?

0:02:15 > 0:02:17MOBILE RINGS

0:02:17 > 0:02:19I have to get that, Olive. You're going to be fine, OK?

0:02:19 > 0:02:22- But Mommy! - I'll be right back, Olive.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Oh, nothing. Just wiping Olive's ass. You?

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Oh, you're kidding. Holy fuck!

0:02:31 > 0:02:33I don't feel well.

0:02:34 > 0:02:35Oh, my goodness.

0:02:58 > 0:03:00Harold Pinter died.

0:03:00 > 0:03:02Well, he's old, right?

0:03:02 > 0:03:04No, wait. He won the Nobel Prize.

0:03:04 > 0:03:05- Mom! - What, honey?

0:03:05 > 0:03:07You need to look at my poop again.

0:03:07 > 0:03:08You sure it's all right?

0:03:08 > 0:03:11It's fine, Olive. Just flush.

0:03:11 > 0:03:12What if it's alive?

0:03:12 > 0:03:15What if I kill it? It's green like plants.

0:03:15 > 0:03:16It's not alive, honey.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20Remember the production of The Dumb Waiter I did at Albanyfest?

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Have your oatmeal, honey.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26I want peanut butter and jelly.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29It's oatmeal. This isn't a restaurant.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32- I don't want oatmeal. - OK. Fine.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34Mommy, I'm sorry.

0:03:34 > 0:03:38They found avian flu in Turkey. In the country Turkey, not turkeys.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Can I watch TV till school?

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Yeah.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47'There is a secret something at play under the surface,

0:03:47 > 0:03:50'growing like an invisible virus of thought.

0:03:50 > 0:03:51'But you're being changed by it.'

0:03:51 > 0:03:53Milk's expired.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55- OK. - Jesus.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- You better eat this. - I will.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Yeah.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04How did I guess you'd ask me that question?

0:04:04 > 0:04:06Happy Halloween, Schenectady.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08And how long have you been in New York for?

0:04:08 > 0:04:13The first black graduate of the University of Alabama died.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Vivian Malone Jones.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17Stroke.

0:04:17 > 0:04:1963.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32GUSHING

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Ow! Fuck!

0:04:36 > 0:04:39Argh! God! Somebody!

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Adele, help!

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Jesus, Caden, what the fuck?

0:04:43 > 0:04:45I was shaving and the thing flew off!

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Oh, my God!

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Jesus, look at your head. Oh, shit.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52Oh, God, I can't turn it.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Oh, wait.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Mommy, Daddy has blood.

0:05:01 > 0:05:02Yeah.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04Will there be a scar?

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Probably. It looks like a mud flap.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08I prefer there not to be a scar.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11PATIENT GROANS

0:05:11 > 0:05:14That fellow is annoying. He's in here every week, like clockwork.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18There. I think that should... Let's see.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21What?

0:05:21 > 0:05:23Change in bowel movements?

0:05:23 > 0:05:24It's a little more yellow than usual. Why?

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Yeah, I'd like you to see an ophthalmologist.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33- A neurologist? - What? No.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35An ophthalmologist. I said, ophthalmologist.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Do you hear that?

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Yeah.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41And today is Tuesday.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Mommy, is today Tuesday?

0:05:43 > 0:05:45No, honey, today is Friday.

0:05:45 > 0:05:46So, what exactly did he say?

0:05:50 > 0:05:53That my pupils weren't...

0:05:54 > 0:05:56..properly... opening and closing.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59- Dilating.- No.- Yeah.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01I don't think that's what he said.

0:06:01 > 0:06:02Yes.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04That's not what he said.

0:06:04 > 0:06:05Is it the bump to your head?

0:06:05 > 0:06:07He doesn't know. Maybe.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09He said he doesn't think so, but maybe.

0:06:09 > 0:06:11But he doesn't know. But maybe. Who knows?

0:06:11 > 0:06:13OK, Jesus, Caden, I got it.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15He doesn't know.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Sorry. I'm a little anxious.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18Did you have to get a shot, Daddy?

0:06:18 > 0:06:20No, honey. It's the start of something awful.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Do I have to get a shot? - Course not.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Did you tell him I have green poo?

0:06:25 > 0:06:26It's just fucked timing.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Remind me to call the plumber. Hey.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Sorry. I have rehearsal. Fuck.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32- Hey, come on. - Sorry, sorry, sorry.

0:06:32 > 0:06:33Everybody, I'm sorry.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36How many years until I have to get more shots?

0:06:36 > 0:06:38Not for a really long time, babe.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40A million years?

0:06:41 > 0:06:43Remember what Dr Woodman said...

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Dad, what's a plumber?

0:06:45 > 0:06:47He's a man...

0:06:47 > 0:06:48Or a woman, Dad.

0:06:48 > 0:06:54Right. He's a man or a woman who fixes sinks and toilets and...

0:06:54 > 0:06:56- Do you know what pipes are? - No.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Hey, Jim. I had an accident.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00Like to smoke out of?

0:07:00 > 0:07:03A different kind of pipe, honey. All right, bye.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Houses have pipes, and they're made of...

0:07:08 > 0:07:11They're like tubes, and they're behind the walls

0:07:11 > 0:07:15and they're under the floors and everywhere. And...

0:07:15 > 0:07:17- What's the matter, baby? - Every single where?

0:07:17 > 0:07:21It's OK, honey. They just carry water to and from sinks and toilets.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24It's like in your body. You have veins.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26- Capillaries. - Capillaries filled with blood.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29I have blood? I don't want blood. I don't want blood.

0:07:29 > 0:07:32- Jesus. What are you doing? - Just trying to explain plumbing.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Well, stop. - God, I can't do this now.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Don't worry, you don't have blood.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Don't tell her she doesn't have blood.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40- Caden, stop it. - I don't want blood.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Thanks for getting me in right away.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54Was it the bump to the head?

0:07:55 > 0:07:56No.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04Could be. But I think we need to get you to a neurologist.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06- Neurologist? - It's a brain expert.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08I know what a neurologist is.

0:08:08 > 0:08:12- I thought from the way you asked... - I just thought you said urologist.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Why do I need to see a neurologist?

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Just for a look-see.

0:08:21 > 0:08:24The eyes are part of the brain, after all.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27No, that's not true, is it?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Why would I say it if it weren't true?

0:08:31 > 0:08:34It doesn't seem right.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38Like morally correct or right as in accurate?

0:08:42 > 0:08:46I don't know. Accurate, I guess.

0:08:49 > 0:08:50Interesting.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53Now, when you kick off, boy, I want a 70-yard boot.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55And get right down the field under the ball.

0:08:55 > 0:08:59And when you hit, hit low and hit hard, because it's important, boy.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02There's all kinds of important people in the stands.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05And the first thing you know... Ben?

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Ben, where do I...?

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Ben, how do I...?

0:09:10 > 0:09:11Willy, you coming up?

0:09:11 > 0:09:12Shh!

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Willy?

0:09:16 > 0:09:17Willy, answer me.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19CAR ENGINE STARTS

0:09:19 > 0:09:20Willy!

0:09:20 > 0:09:22No!

0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Oh, crap. - Claire, are you OK?

0:09:25 > 0:09:28What's happening? It's too late in the game to have these problems.

0:09:28 > 0:09:30I know, Caden. I'm sorry. We'll get it.

0:09:30 > 0:09:35- Oh, my God.- You OK? - Yeah, I think the wig saved my life.

0:09:35 > 0:09:36Yeah.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38It's OK, honestly.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41- That was good, Tom. - Yeah?- Yeah.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44I was trying something different. I was crashing differently.

0:09:44 > 0:09:49- Ambivalently. - I saw that. I like it. Um...

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Try to keep in mind that a young person playing Willy Loman

0:09:57 > 0:10:01thinks he's only pretending to be at the end of a life full of despair.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04But the tragedy is that we know that you, the young actor

0:10:04 > 0:10:07will end up in this very place of desolation.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08OK.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15That's great.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Let's try it again. How long, David?

0:10:17 > 0:10:19I think 15.

0:10:21 > 0:10:22Anything?

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Er, mmm.

0:10:24 > 0:10:25So now what?

0:10:29 > 0:10:31Hey.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34Hey. In search of the elusive signal.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36The signal's good here, oddly.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38That is odd.

0:10:38 > 0:10:40- I know. Cell phones, they're crazy. - See you in a few.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Yep.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48Yeah, Dr Heshborg said I should see a Dr Scoriano.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52My pupils don't work.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01I think I have blood in my stool.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06That stool in your office?

0:11:09 > 0:11:12- When I was pregnant with Olive... - What was it like?

0:11:12 > 0:11:16I don't know. Hopeful or something. Like something was going to change.

0:11:16 > 0:11:20- Yes, something did. No?- Yeah. - Yeah, of course.- I mean, big time.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23I mean, maybe not as much as I'd hoped.

0:11:23 > 0:11:25I'm sorry. That's a terrible thing to say.

0:11:25 > 0:11:29There are no terrible things to say in here, only true and false.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31Can I say something awful?

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Yes, please do.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38I've fantasised about Caden dying.

0:11:41 > 0:11:44Being able to start again, guilt free.

0:11:44 > 0:11:46I know that's...

0:11:47 > 0:11:50That's bad.

0:11:50 > 0:11:51Caden, does that feel terrible?

0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Yeah.- OK, good.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13It's a nightmare in there.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16I'm sorry.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28So, I'm reading The Trial.

0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Yeah?- Yeah.

0:12:32 > 0:12:33You like?

0:12:33 > 0:12:34Love.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37I'm such an idiot for not knowing about this book.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39It's famous, as it turns out.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Yeah.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43You're not an idiot.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49Then you say,

0:12:49 > 0:12:53"In fact, Hazel, you're very bright, and I love your eyes."

0:12:57 > 0:12:59In fact, Hazel, you're very bright.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Oh, am I?

0:13:01 > 0:13:02And I love your eyes.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Do you?

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Oh, darling.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14Then what do I say?

0:13:14 > 0:13:16I can't say what then you say.

0:13:16 > 0:13:17Why?

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Cos it's dirty.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27C... D... Could you step out for a second?

0:13:27 > 0:13:30Go ahead. I've seen boy parts.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39Can I take a piss in your sink?

0:13:39 > 0:13:41Yeah, sure. I guess.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54We're sold out.

0:13:54 > 0:13:56Great.

0:14:03 > 0:14:04Gorgeous.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08Thanks.

0:14:08 > 0:14:09How was rehearsal?

0:14:09 > 0:14:11Awful.

0:14:11 > 0:14:15We have 560 lighting cues.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17I don't know why I make it so complicated.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19Because that's what you do.

0:14:19 > 0:14:20Yeah.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26We got through it though.

0:14:26 > 0:14:27That's really pretty.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Caden, I'm sorry, I...

0:14:34 > 0:14:36I just... I can't come tonight. I'm sorry.

0:14:36 > 0:14:40I have two canvases I have to get ready to ship for tomorrow.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42- I know, it sucks... - It's opening night.- I know.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45I wish I could come. I would if I could.

0:14:45 > 0:14:46I've gotta get ready.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Tomorrow will be like the premiere...

0:14:48 > 0:14:51I have to get ready. I don't know what I'm going to wear.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53I have to figure out what I'm going to wear.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21MUSIC PLAYS

0:15:26 > 0:15:28Hey. Oh, boy, oh, boy.

0:15:28 > 0:15:29Willy?

0:15:30 > 0:15:33It's all right, I came back.

0:15:34 > 0:15:35Ohh...

0:15:35 > 0:15:37I hated myself tonight.

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Plus, I'm so... Excuse me.

0:15:40 > 0:15:41Hey, Tom.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43I'm so bloated and enormous.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46- No, you look good. You were great. I was very pleased.- You OK?

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Sorry. A little bit of a headache.

0:15:48 > 0:15:49Willy Loman.

0:15:51 > 0:15:52Aww!

0:15:52 > 0:15:55I just wanted to say thank you for everything.

0:15:55 > 0:15:57You've been absolutely brilliant.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00It's going to be miserable going ahead without you.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02I'll be around. I'll check in.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04I'm such a baby.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07OK. I'm going to go get drunk, that's what.

0:16:07 > 0:16:08OK.

0:16:08 > 0:16:09Claire.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11Sweetheart.

0:16:14 > 0:16:15Good. Good job.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18- Oh, don't worry, I'll get better. - Good work.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Don't worry, it'll get better.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26Hey. I... I figured I'd better get in fast.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Hey, you want to sit?

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Yeah, yeah.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38Where's el wife-o?

0:16:38 > 0:16:39Had to work.

0:16:39 > 0:16:43Her show in Berlin is in two weeks.

0:16:43 > 0:16:45We're going to go there for like a month.

0:16:45 > 0:16:46Why do I like you so much?

0:16:46 > 0:16:49I couldn't begin to guess.

0:16:49 > 0:16:50Me neither.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Do you get high, my friend?

0:16:56 > 0:16:58You know, sometimes.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Do you want to now? With me, in my car?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04I get kind of...

0:17:06 > 0:17:09..something when I'm stoned.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11What does 'something' mean?

0:17:12 > 0:17:14You know...

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Bothered.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19What does 'bothered' mean?

0:17:19 > 0:17:20You know.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Bothered. Horny.

0:17:24 > 0:17:25Oh.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27(COUGHS)

0:17:27 > 0:17:30And me with a station wagon and all. Could be dangerous.

0:17:30 > 0:17:32Yeah, could be.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34You're absolutely zero fun.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49When are the reviews going to get here?

0:17:53 > 0:17:55Don't know.

0:17:59 > 0:18:04His best friends finger two babies. And one this big, one this big.

0:18:04 > 0:18:05And two kittens.

0:18:05 > 0:18:06Hey.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09Hi, Caden. How'd it go?

0:18:11 > 0:18:13- Hi.- Hi.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15It's late.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Maria came over to keep me company because...

0:18:18 > 0:18:21We just lost track. I got everything done.

0:18:21 > 0:18:25I'm sorry I missed your play. I'm sorry. But how'd it go?

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Great. We're a hit.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Reviews are great.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35Times said it was brilliant casting young people as Willy and Linda.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38That's great, Caden. Good for you.

0:18:38 > 0:18:44That's great. I can't wait to see it tomorrow... Tonight.

0:18:44 > 0:18:45That's great.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49Wow, it's really late...early.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53Early. It's late.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Hey, I would love to see it too.

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Can we get Maria a ticket?

0:18:57 > 0:18:58You're stoned.

0:19:00 > 0:19:02I mean, a little. It's, you know... I don't know.

0:19:02 > 0:19:05But... Are you happy with it?

0:19:05 > 0:19:10Yeah. Yeah, I'd love for you... To know what you think.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12It doesn't matter what I think.

0:19:12 > 0:19:17Absolutely. It's all about your artistic satisfaction, Caden.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Ah, whatever.

0:19:26 > 0:19:27Congratulations.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29Yeah.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42I've always loved this house.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45Yes, it's a wonderful place.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48The truth is, I never really imagined I could afford it.

0:19:48 > 0:19:52Well, sellers are very motivated now. (COUGHS)

0:19:54 > 0:19:56It's a scary decision.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00I never thought I'd buy a house alone.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03But, you know, I'm 36, and I wonder what it is I'm waiting for.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06Home buying is always scary.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08And with the fire and all especially.

0:20:08 > 0:20:09It's a good size, though.

0:20:09 > 0:20:132,200 square feet, not including the partially finished basement.

0:20:13 > 0:20:14Oh, I don't know.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17I'm thinking I should go.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20It's a perfect size for someone alone.

0:20:20 > 0:20:22I like it, I do. I'm...

0:20:22 > 0:20:26I'm just really concerned about dying in the fire.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29It's a big decision how one prefers to die.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Would you like to meet my son?

0:20:31 > 0:20:32Derek.

0:20:33 > 0:20:37Derek's living in the basement since his divorce, if that's OK.

0:20:37 > 0:20:38Hey, Mom.

0:20:44 > 0:20:45Let's go, Ma.

0:20:45 > 0:20:46I want just a minute.

0:20:55 > 0:20:56I never...

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Forgive me, dear. I can't cry.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06I don't know what it is, but I can't cry.

0:21:09 > 0:21:14It seems to me that you're just on another trip.

0:21:14 > 0:21:15I keep expecting you.

0:21:15 > 0:21:18Why did you do it?

0:21:18 > 0:21:21I search and I search and I can't understand it.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24I made the last payment

0:21:24 > 0:21:25on the house today.

0:21:25 > 0:21:29We're free and clear. We're free.

0:21:29 > 0:21:30We're free.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Well done. It was very successful.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44I thought it was wonderful.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46Why did the older people look so young?

0:21:46 > 0:21:49It was a choice, Dad. I'll explain later.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53I can't get excited about your restaging someone else's old play.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55It just... There's nothing personal in it.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58People are coming out of the theatre crying.

0:21:58 > 0:22:02Great. Be a fucking tool of suburban, blue-haired regional theatre subscribers.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04- You didn't think it was long? - No, I did not.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06But what are you leaving behind?

0:22:06 > 0:22:08You act as if you have forever to figure it out.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10When you're dead, there's no time.

0:22:10 > 0:22:16I don't know. I slept maybe three hours. So we're both tired.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21No, I cuddled with Olive all night. It was great.

0:22:26 > 0:22:27Morning. Morning.

0:22:30 > 0:22:31Morning, Caden.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34I think I might have arthritis.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35Friends on fire.

0:22:38 > 0:22:39I'm going to.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43No, I know exactly.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46OK, I will. I'll call you later.

0:22:46 > 0:22:47I know. You're right. Bye.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52My joints are stiff.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Who was that?

0:22:59 > 0:23:00Maria.

0:23:00 > 0:23:01Right.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04Three hours since you spoke.

0:23:04 > 0:23:08Caden, I think I want to go to Berlin with just Olive.

0:23:10 > 0:23:13I think it would be good for us.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Oh, Christ.

0:23:14 > 0:23:15Morning, kiddos.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Why don't you want me to go?

0:23:20 > 0:23:24You know, I think it would be a good thing for the two of us to do...

0:23:24 > 0:23:26alone.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29How do you think I'm supposed to respond to something like that?

0:23:32 > 0:23:34Want me to zip your coat up?

0:23:34 > 0:23:35Yeah.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42What's wrong with your face, Daddy?

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Er...

0:23:44 > 0:23:46It's pustules.

0:23:46 > 0:23:49It's called sycosis.

0:23:49 > 0:23:53Spelled differently than psychosis, but it sounds the same.

0:23:53 > 0:23:54I don't know what that means.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58Of course not. Well, there are two kinds of psychosis.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00They're spelled differently.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03P-S-Y is like if you're crazy.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Like Mama.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09S-Y is like these ugly things on my face.

0:24:09 > 0:24:10You could have both, though.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12I could, but I don't.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23Can I ask you something, Ad?

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Have I disappointed you somehow?

0:24:30 > 0:24:32I don't know what I'm doing.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34We're just spending a little time apart.

0:24:39 > 0:24:41We'll talk when I get back, OK?

0:24:44 > 0:24:48Everyone is disappointing. The more you know someone, it just...

0:24:49 > 0:24:53This whole romantic love thing, it's a projection anyway, right?

0:24:53 > 0:24:55I mean, I don't know.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

0:25:03 > 0:25:05I love you.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14I don't know what I'm doing.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16I don't know.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24We'll talk when I get back.

0:25:28 > 0:25:29OK?

0:25:41 > 0:25:43'Flurostatin TR allows you to live life

0:25:43 > 0:25:47'when it's your turn to face the challenges of chemotherapy.'

0:26:02 > 0:26:05'Ask your doctor if Flurostatin TR is right for you.'

0:26:21 > 0:26:23'And I'm on the first train out of Palookaville.'

0:26:23 > 0:26:27'The Miracle Brush, you can scour everything from bottles...'

0:26:27 > 0:26:28'Rise and shine...'

0:26:28 > 0:26:30'Lift those legs...'

0:26:30 > 0:26:33'There's no real way of coping, when your parachute won't open.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35'You're falling down.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38'You're going down.

0:26:38 > 0:26:39'You fell.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41'Then you died.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44'Maybe someone cried.

0:26:44 > 0:26:49'But not your one-time bride.'

0:26:49 > 0:26:51I'm lonely.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Yes. Anything else?

0:26:53 > 0:26:55I'm hurt.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Yes. And?

0:27:01 > 0:27:05I think Adele's right when she says I'm not doing anything real...

0:27:05 > 0:27:07What would be real?

0:27:07 > 0:27:09I'm afraid I'm going to die.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12I don't know what's wrong with me.

0:27:12 > 0:27:15I want to do something important while I'm still here.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17That would be the time to do it, yes.

0:27:17 > 0:27:20I have a book that might help you get better.

0:27:20 > 0:27:21Better?

0:27:21 > 0:27:22It's called Getting Better.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27- Who wrote it? - I did. All of these.

0:27:27 > 0:27:29Wow, I never knew that.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31Yes. Well, wow, indeed.

0:27:33 > 0:27:36'In conclusion... Cats eat rats... Within his own plumbing...

0:27:36 > 0:27:39'Me who am as a raw nerve... Synthetic vaginal juices...

0:27:39 > 0:27:40'Substantial crease...'

0:27:40 > 0:27:42That's 45.

0:27:54 > 0:27:55Five.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Five.

0:27:59 > 0:28:01Five.

0:28:03 > 0:28:04Some fives. That's not good.

0:28:04 > 0:28:06Keep with the flossing.

0:28:06 > 0:28:08We'll see you in three months.

0:28:08 > 0:28:09Six.

0:28:09 > 0:28:11Six.

0:28:11 > 0:28:12Six.

0:28:12 > 0:28:15I'm going to recommend you see a periodontist.

0:28:15 > 0:28:17He'll probably recommend gum surgery.

0:28:17 > 0:28:19SUCKING

0:28:22 > 0:28:23Hello?

0:28:23 > 0:28:26Hey, I'm so glad I finally got you.

0:28:26 > 0:28:28Hello, who is this?

0:28:28 > 0:28:29It's Caden.

0:28:29 > 0:28:31Ellen?

0:28:31 > 0:28:33Caden.

0:28:33 > 0:28:36I can't wait to see you and Olive on the 12th...

0:28:36 > 0:28:39No, I have to go. I'm sorry, there's a party. I'm famous.

0:28:39 > 0:28:40Have fun...

0:28:40 > 0:28:41PHONE BEEPS

0:28:57 > 0:28:59'911. State your emergency.'

0:28:59 > 0:29:00- I'm sick!- 'Ma'am?'- I'm sick!

0:29:13 > 0:29:16BEEP SOUNDS

0:29:24 > 0:29:25Mr Cotard?

0:29:28 > 0:29:29Mr Cotard.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43Mr Cotard?

0:29:53 > 0:29:55You've had a seizure of sorts.

0:29:57 > 0:29:59What does that mean?

0:29:59 > 0:30:03Seems to be some synaptic degradation, fungal in origin.

0:30:03 > 0:30:05Autonomic functions are going haywire.

0:30:05 > 0:30:08You'll lose your ability to salivate, cry, et cetera.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10- Is it serious? - We don't know.

0:30:10 > 0:30:15But, yes. We'll get you enrolled in some bio-feedback program.

0:30:15 > 0:30:18Maybe you can learn some sort of manual override.

0:30:30 > 0:30:33We should get a drink. It would be fun.

0:30:33 > 0:30:34It would be weird.

0:30:34 > 0:30:36I like weird.

0:30:36 > 0:30:38I like you. See?

0:30:39 > 0:30:42Anyway, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I...

0:30:45 > 0:30:47OK, so I do want to make you uncomfortable.

0:30:59 > 0:31:01And what do we do with all this?

0:31:04 > 0:31:06You want to come over to my place, Cotard?

0:31:10 > 0:31:14I won't let you off the hook this time by saying, "Never mind."

0:31:14 > 0:31:17Adele is only on vacation.

0:31:17 > 0:31:20She hasn't called since she left.

0:31:20 > 0:31:21It's been a year.

0:31:21 > 0:31:24It's been a week.

0:31:26 > 0:31:28I'm going to buy you a calendar.

0:31:37 > 0:31:38OK.

0:31:41 > 0:31:42Just for one drink.

0:31:48 > 0:31:49Scraps for my scrapbook.

0:31:53 > 0:31:57I can't... I really can't drink very much because of my condition.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09Did you put something in it?

0:32:09 > 0:32:12If that's what it takes, consider it done.

0:32:14 > 0:32:16Love potion number 69.

0:32:19 > 0:32:21Hm! It's good.

0:32:21 > 0:32:23Does it make you want to kiss me?

0:32:24 > 0:32:25Kind of.

0:32:25 > 0:32:27Tell me why.

0:32:27 > 0:32:31Because I feel a lot of longing.

0:32:31 > 0:32:33Beg a girl, why don't you?

0:32:33 > 0:32:35- Please, Hazel. - On your knees.

0:32:37 > 0:32:39What?

0:32:39 > 0:32:42I want you to beg me on your knees for a kiss.

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Just for fun.

0:32:47 > 0:32:49Why am I doing this?

0:32:51 > 0:32:52For fun, baby.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59Will you help me forget my troubles?

0:32:59 > 0:33:01Oh, kiddo.

0:33:03 > 0:33:04You don't even know.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10- What?- I don't know.

0:33:10 > 0:33:14- What is it? - I don't know, I'm sorry.

0:33:16 > 0:33:17I'm sorry.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21- What? - I don't know, I'm just...

0:33:24 > 0:33:26I'm just really confused.

0:33:28 > 0:33:30I'm sorry.

0:33:30 > 0:33:32I...

0:33:36 > 0:33:38I'm really... I'm really sick.

0:33:40 > 0:33:42And I think I'm dying.

0:33:44 > 0:33:46I have a kid,

0:33:46 > 0:33:48and I'm married.

0:33:53 > 0:33:58I just thought this might change things, you know?

0:33:58 > 0:34:00I had a good time,

0:34:00 > 0:34:02and I think you're a very nice person.

0:34:04 > 0:34:07That is just the wrong thing to say right now, Caden.

0:34:19 > 0:34:21You should go.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27RINGING TONE

0:34:27 > 0:34:30'Hazel. Leave a message or not. It's your dime.'

0:34:30 > 0:34:33'Hi. You know, I haven't heard from you in a while

0:34:33 > 0:34:35'and I just thought I'd call and say hi.

0:34:35 > 0:34:37'Hi, Hazel.

0:34:37 > 0:34:38HE LAUGHS

0:34:38 > 0:34:39HE COUGHS

0:34:42 > 0:34:46- 'Now. Now. Be here now.' - PHONE RINGS

0:34:46 > 0:34:49ADELE: 'Olive wanted me to ask you not to read her diary.

0:34:49 > 0:34:53'She left it under her pillow by mistake. Glpef n mesr-siy.'

0:34:56 > 0:34:59KNOCK ON DOOR

0:35:10 > 0:35:12'Dear Mr Cotard. It is my pleasure to inform you

0:35:12 > 0:35:14'that you have been named the 2009 MacArthur Fellow.

0:35:14 > 0:35:18'It is our hope that you will use your newly found financial freedom

0:35:18 > 0:35:21'to create something unflinchingly true, profoundly beautiful

0:35:21 > 0:35:25'and of unremitting value to your community and to the world at large.

0:35:25 > 0:35:27- So, I got this MacArthur grant... - Oh, Caden.

0:35:27 > 0:35:29- Yeah, a lot of money. - Know what you're going to do with it?

0:35:29 > 0:35:33Theatre piece. Something big and true and tough.

0:35:33 > 0:35:35I'm going to finally put my real self into something.

0:35:35 > 0:35:39What is your real self, do you think?

0:35:41 > 0:35:42I don't know yet.

0:35:44 > 0:35:47The MacArthur is called "the genius grant"

0:35:47 > 0:35:49and I want to earn it.

0:35:49 > 0:35:51It's wonderful. God bless.

0:35:51 > 0:35:55I guess you'll have to discover your real self, right?

0:35:55 > 0:35:56Yeah.

0:35:56 > 0:35:59I wanted to ask you, how old are kids when they start to write?

0:35:59 > 0:36:03There's an absolutely brilliant novel written by a four-year-old.

0:36:03 > 0:36:07- Really?- Little Winky by Horace Azpiazu.

0:36:07 > 0:36:09- That's cute. - Oh, hardly.

0:36:09 > 0:36:11Little Winky is a virulent anti-Semite.

0:36:11 > 0:36:14The story follows his initiation into the Klan,

0:36:14 > 0:36:17his immersion in the pornographic snuff industry

0:36:17 > 0:36:20and his ultimate degradation at the hands of a black ex-convict

0:36:20 > 0:36:24named Eric Washington Jackson Jones Johnson...

0:36:24 > 0:36:26- Written by a four-year-old? - ..Jefferson.

0:36:26 > 0:36:29Wow! Written by a four-year-old?

0:36:29 > 0:36:31Well, Azpiazu killed himself when he was five.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33Why did he kill himself?

0:36:33 > 0:36:36- I don't know. Why did you? - What?

0:36:37 > 0:36:38I said, why would you?

0:36:39 > 0:36:41Oh, I don't know.

0:36:44 > 0:36:48Yeah, I want to bring my production to New York

0:36:48 > 0:36:53to get it seen by people, you know, who matter.

0:36:53 > 0:36:54The sooner the better.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56This theatre, centrally located.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58Heart of the theatre district, so, you know, great for plays.

0:36:58 > 0:36:59Yeah?

0:36:59 > 0:37:04Oh, yeah. Absolutely. There it is.

0:37:04 > 0:37:05What was this used for?

0:37:05 > 0:37:07Plays.

0:37:08 > 0:37:10Like, theatre plays?

0:37:10 > 0:37:11Hm-mm. Shakespeare.

0:37:12 > 0:37:14King Lear.

0:37:15 > 0:37:17The storm.

0:37:18 > 0:37:23You see, the idea is to do a massive theatre piece.

0:37:23 > 0:37:26You know, uncompromising, honest.

0:37:27 > 0:37:29Here's what I think theatre is.

0:37:29 > 0:37:32It's the beginning of thought.

0:37:32 > 0:37:35It's...the truth not yet spoken.

0:37:35 > 0:37:39It's what a man feels like after he's been clocked in the jaw.

0:37:39 > 0:37:40It's love...

0:37:42 > 0:37:43..in all its messiness.

0:37:44 > 0:37:48You know, and I want all of us, players and patrons alike,

0:37:48 > 0:37:52to soak in the communal bath of it,

0:37:52 > 0:37:56the mikvah, as the Jews call it.

0:37:56 > 0:38:00Because we're all in the same water, after all.

0:38:02 > 0:38:05You know, soaking in our...

0:38:05 > 0:38:09very menstrual blood and nocturnal emissions.

0:38:09 > 0:38:13This is what I want to try to give people.

0:38:13 > 0:38:16OK, here you go. Here's your salad.

0:38:18 > 0:38:20- Here's your soup. - Thanks.

0:38:22 > 0:38:24- Thank you. - Enjoy.

0:38:31 > 0:38:32What are you doing?

0:38:32 > 0:38:34Salivating.

0:38:35 > 0:38:37The bio-feedback training.

0:38:40 > 0:38:42So I was wondering if you'd help.

0:38:42 > 0:38:43In your box office?

0:38:43 > 0:38:47No, as my assistant.

0:38:47 > 0:38:49I'm not sure I can work with you, Caden.

0:38:51 > 0:38:52I'm kind of angry.

0:38:53 > 0:38:55I just want to normalise it.

0:38:58 > 0:39:00I think we'd have a lot of fun together.

0:39:13 > 0:39:15I miss you.

0:39:16 > 0:39:17Really disturbing.

0:39:17 > 0:39:19I know.

0:39:22 > 0:39:25OLIVE: 'Dear diary, thank you for being my new best friend.

0:39:25 > 0:39:28'My name is Olive Cotard, and I'm four years old.

0:39:28 > 0:39:31'I like chocolate and my favourite colour is pink.'

0:39:34 > 0:39:36This is pink.

0:39:39 > 0:39:41Yeah, that's good.

0:39:50 > 0:39:53We'll start by talking honestly and out of that,

0:39:53 > 0:39:56a piece of theatre will evolve.

0:39:57 > 0:39:58I'll begin.

0:40:00 > 0:40:03I've been thinking a lot about dying lately.

0:40:03 > 0:40:05You're going to be fine, sweetie.

0:40:05 > 0:40:09- I appreciate that, Claire, but... - You are, you poor thing.

0:40:09 > 0:40:13Yeah, well, regardless of how this particular thing works itself out,

0:40:13 > 0:40:15I will be dying.

0:40:16 > 0:40:18And so will you.

0:40:20 > 0:40:22And so will everyone here.

0:40:26 > 0:40:29And that's what I want to explore.

0:40:29 > 0:40:31We're all hurtling towards death.

0:40:35 > 0:40:38Yet, here we are, for the moment, alive.

0:40:38 > 0:40:41Each of us knowing we're going to die.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45Each of us secretly believing we won't.

0:40:47 > 0:40:49It's brilliant.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52It... It's everything.

0:40:54 > 0:40:57It's Karamazov.

0:41:01 > 0:41:03- Stop. - I'm just asking.

0:41:03 > 0:41:04You're so obnoxious.

0:41:04 > 0:41:06You're so obnoxious!

0:41:06 > 0:41:08You do not want to cross me.

0:41:08 > 0:41:09Don't I?

0:41:14 > 0:41:15Hi, Claire.

0:41:17 > 0:41:18Hi.

0:41:18 > 0:41:20Hazel.

0:41:20 > 0:41:23Yeah. No, no. I know, I know. Hazel. You're the box office.

0:41:23 > 0:41:25- Yeah, I'm the box office. - How are you?

0:41:25 > 0:41:27Wonderful. You?

0:41:27 > 0:41:29Yeah, yeah. I'm good. I'm fine. Thank you.

0:41:29 > 0:41:32Actually, I'm meeting Caden here.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34You know Mr Cotard, right?

0:41:34 > 0:41:36Yes, I recall Mr Cotard.

0:41:38 > 0:41:39Yeah. I'm waiting...

0:41:41 > 0:41:42- Oh.- Oh, oh.

0:41:45 > 0:41:46- Hey.- Hi, Caden.

0:41:46 > 0:41:48- Hey.- Hi, Caden.

0:41:48 > 0:41:50Hi, Hazel. Hi, Claire.

0:41:50 > 0:41:52Hi.

0:41:52 > 0:41:54- This is Derek.- Hi, Derek.

0:41:54 > 0:41:56- Hi, Derek. - Hi, Derek.

0:41:56 > 0:41:58Hi.

0:42:01 > 0:42:05Well, we'll leave you be. It's nice to see you again.

0:42:05 > 0:42:06Take care.

0:42:06 > 0:42:09Why am I bowing? OK, bye.

0:42:11 > 0:42:13That was awkward.

0:42:13 > 0:42:15Yeah, I guess.

0:42:17 > 0:42:18Do you like beaver?

0:42:18 > 0:42:22- So could you tell me maybe what it is that you want from me?- Hm?

0:42:22 > 0:42:25You know, like, from my character.

0:42:25 > 0:42:27Oh...

0:42:28 > 0:42:30Well, we'll build it over time together.

0:42:30 > 0:42:33You know, try to find a real person, maybe, to model it after.

0:42:33 > 0:42:37That Hazel girl's kind of interesting maybe. You know, like, why...?

0:42:37 > 0:42:38Although...

0:42:38 > 0:42:40Why is she still working at a box office at her age?

0:42:40 > 0:42:43I don't know. Probably not that interesting.

0:42:43 > 0:42:46Maybe she wanted to be an actress, but she lacked the confidence.

0:42:46 > 0:42:48- Yeah, we'll talk about it. - I'm so excited.- Really? Why?

0:42:51 > 0:42:53Because I think that it's...

0:42:53 > 0:42:54brave.

0:42:54 > 0:42:59And I just feel like I'm going to be part of a revolution.

0:42:59 > 0:43:02I keep thinking about Artaud, Krapp's Last Tape, you know,

0:43:02 > 0:43:04and Grotowski, for Christ's sake.

0:43:05 > 0:43:07I don't know what I'm doing.

0:43:08 > 0:43:10But that's what so refreshing.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12Knowing that you don't know

0:43:12 > 0:43:16is the first and the most essential step to knowing, you know?

0:43:17 > 0:43:19I don't know.

0:43:24 > 0:43:26- Well, I'm proud of you. - Thanks.

0:43:26 > 0:43:28- Don't say that, not to me. > - Oh, sorry. >

0:43:30 > 0:43:33My mother died last night.

0:43:34 > 0:43:37Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

0:43:37 > 0:43:39What are you doing out?

0:43:43 > 0:43:46- This is me.- Well...

0:43:46 > 0:43:50Well, it was nice meeting you. Oh, God, did I just say "meeting"?

0:43:50 > 0:43:53I'm sorry. I'm so stupid.

0:43:53 > 0:43:55Slip of the tongue, is all.

0:43:55 > 0:43:56Yeah, it's a...

0:43:56 > 0:43:58Freudian slip, right?

0:43:59 > 0:44:01I don't know how it's Freudian.

0:44:01 > 0:44:05To meet, you know? Like, to meet.

0:44:05 > 0:44:08Oh.

0:44:09 > 0:44:11There she met Ralph Keene.

0:44:11 > 0:44:16They fell in love, married and soon their first child, Claire, was born.

0:44:17 > 0:44:18I used to be a baby.

0:44:18 > 0:44:21Claire Elizabeth Keene was a joyous child...

0:44:21 > 0:44:22I'm sorry.

0:44:22 > 0:44:24..The apple of her mother's eye.

0:44:24 > 0:44:28She made her parents proud with her politeness and gymnastic skills.

0:44:28 > 0:44:30God, you're beautiful.

0:44:30 > 0:44:35When she was seven, little Claire was bitten by the acting bug.

0:44:35 > 0:44:38She starred in almost every school musical,

0:44:38 > 0:44:39playing Ado Annie in Oklahoma,

0:44:39 > 0:44:42Adelaide in Guys And Dolls,

0:44:42 > 0:44:44and Maria in The Sound Of Music.

0:44:44 > 0:44:46I have to fuck you.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48I have to.

0:44:52 > 0:44:55There will be no other before you.

0:44:59 > 0:45:01I'd like to buy a ticket, please.

0:45:01 > 0:45:03- Oh.- OK. Hold it.

0:45:03 > 0:45:06That'll be 40.

0:45:08 > 0:45:09We're not really...

0:45:09 > 0:45:12We need to investigate.

0:45:12 > 0:45:15You know, to really discover the essence of each being.

0:45:17 > 0:45:19You know, I think I need to work with both of you separately.

0:45:19 > 0:45:22Davis, I'll start with you.

0:45:27 > 0:45:29"Davis, I'll start with you"?

0:45:29 > 0:45:31There's a difference between favouring me

0:45:31 > 0:45:33and pretending we've never met.

0:45:33 > 0:45:37I mean, we've had Ariel. I think people know that we've fucked.

0:45:37 > 0:45:40We'll talk about your character after we put Ariel to bed?

0:45:40 > 0:45:42OK.

0:45:49 > 0:45:54I think I made a breakthrough. This character is so beautiful...

0:45:54 > 0:45:56Yeah, I have to go find my daughter.

0:45:56 > 0:45:59- Your daughter's right here. - My real daughter.- Excuse me?

0:45:59 > 0:46:02I mean, my first daughter, Olive. I have to go find her.

0:46:02 > 0:46:05Please, don't do this to us.

0:46:05 > 0:46:07She's tattooed. She's tattooed.

0:46:07 > 0:46:09Oh, everyone is tattooed.

0:46:09 > 0:46:12Oh, I've never seen that before.

0:46:12 > 0:46:14You have responsibilities.

0:46:14 > 0:46:16Yeah, I'll be quick. I'll do it quick.

0:46:16 > 0:46:18"Redundancy is fluid.

0:46:18 > 0:46:20"Life moves to the south.

0:46:20 > 0:46:24"There is only the now, and I am always with you.

0:46:24 > 0:46:26"For example, look to your left."

0:46:28 > 0:46:30Hi.

0:46:30 > 0:46:35When you cancelled, it freed me up, so I'm travelling, too. Yippee.

0:46:38 > 0:46:41You know, I'm not sure I'm getting the book.

0:46:51 > 0:46:53Oh, but it's getting you.

0:46:53 > 0:46:56You're almost non-recognisable now.

0:47:01 > 0:47:03Thank you.

0:47:08 > 0:47:10"I show you my leg.

0:47:10 > 0:47:14"I stand close, and you inhale my perfume.

0:47:14 > 0:47:17"I offer my ripe flower to you and you deny it.

0:47:17 > 0:47:19"This book is over."

0:47:19 > 0:47:20ANNOUNCEMENT IN GERMAN

0:47:33 > 0:47:34Hi.

0:47:34 > 0:47:36I don't speak German.

0:47:36 > 0:47:38Ja, ja. I may help you, mister?

0:47:38 > 0:47:42I'm... I'm looking for Adele Cotard. Adele Lack.

0:47:42 > 0:47:45We must not give addresses or other personal informations.

0:47:45 > 0:47:47I'm her husband.

0:47:47 > 0:47:51No, you are not her husbands, which is named Gunther und Heinz.

0:47:51 > 0:47:53I'm the father of her daughter, Olive.

0:47:53 > 0:47:55Oh, I see.

0:47:55 > 0:47:58Sorry, I cannot help you.

0:47:58 > 0:48:00OLIVE: "Dear diary, Germany is wonderful.

0:48:00 > 0:48:02"So many friends here.

0:48:02 > 0:48:07"My new dads are great and handsome, and brilliant directors of theatre."

0:48:07 > 0:48:08Hello.

0:48:13 > 0:48:15- You're here?- Yeah.

0:48:15 > 0:48:18I live with Adele and Olive

0:48:18 > 0:48:21and Gunther and Heinz and Uschi and Britt.

0:48:21 > 0:48:22I'm everyone's nanny.

0:48:22 > 0:48:24I want to see my daughter.

0:48:24 > 0:48:27Hm. Yeah, they sent me.

0:48:27 > 0:48:29They?

0:48:30 > 0:48:33Who are they? Who the fuck are Uschi and Britt?

0:48:33 > 0:48:36Yeah, they decided it's not time to see you yet...

0:48:36 > 0:48:39- They decided? Who decided? They had her tattooed.- I did that.

0:48:39 > 0:48:41Olive is my project...

0:48:41 > 0:48:43She's a four-year-old!

0:48:43 > 0:48:47She's a fucking four-year-old!

0:48:49 > 0:48:50She's...

0:48:50 > 0:48:52She's almost over 11 now.

0:48:55 > 0:48:57She's my muse.

0:48:57 > 0:48:59I love her.

0:49:02 > 0:49:04You don't love her!

0:49:07 > 0:49:09Where is she?

0:49:10 > 0:49:13What did you do to my daughter?

0:49:40 > 0:49:42HE WAILS

0:50:07 > 0:50:11"Death comes faster than you think."

0:50:14 > 0:50:16Dr Williams, that was your last patient for the day.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18Jennifer, let's stop this charade.

0:50:18 > 0:50:20I don't know what you're talking about.

0:50:20 > 0:50:23You're actually having an affair off-set.

0:50:23 > 0:50:25- Palpable, huh? - Oh, OK.

0:50:25 > 0:50:27- Who told you? - And it's not good.

0:50:27 > 0:50:29- Not good, oh, OK. - You're actors playing actors.

0:50:29 > 0:50:32You're in this scene, you're not just filming it.

0:50:32 > 0:50:34- You're in the scene. - Just like that...

0:50:34 > 0:50:35As you're telling him this,

0:50:35 > 0:50:37you realise you're attracted to him also.

0:50:37 > 0:50:39How are you going to let him know that?

0:50:39 > 0:50:43And the guilt you feel about telling him about somebody else knowing.

0:50:43 > 0:50:44Daddy, Daddy is mine.

0:50:44 > 0:50:46Daddy can't play now, honey.

0:50:46 > 0:50:50Daddy doesn't live with us any more, baby. He had to go find himself.

0:50:50 > 0:50:52They still feel a little tight in the toe.

0:50:52 > 0:50:56Have an argument. You're having an argument. Have it.

0:50:57 > 0:50:58I don't buy it.

0:50:58 > 0:51:00You, sir, are a horse's ass.

0:51:00 > 0:51:03What? Just get the fucking shoe. You gave me two sizes too big...

0:51:03 > 0:51:05Tom, don't turn into another person

0:51:05 > 0:51:07just because I say change your action.

0:51:07 > 0:51:10- And this started just today? - Hm-mm.

0:51:10 > 0:51:12- It never happened before? - Nn-mm.

0:51:12 > 0:51:15OK. Good.

0:51:15 > 0:51:17You can get dressed.

0:51:20 > 0:51:23You're a doctor, right? Am I dying? Can you tell me that?

0:51:23 > 0:51:24No.

0:51:24 > 0:51:26No, you can't tell me?

0:51:26 > 0:51:27I can't tell you.

0:51:27 > 0:51:29You can't tell me if you can't tell me?

0:51:29 > 0:51:30No.

0:51:30 > 0:51:35- No, you can't tell me, because you're not allowed to?- No.

0:51:44 > 0:51:46HIS FOOT TAPS

0:51:58 > 0:51:59Caden.

0:51:59 > 0:52:01What are you doing here?

0:52:01 > 0:52:06Oh, I was wondering if I was going to bump into you.

0:52:06 > 0:52:08- You look great.- Thanks.

0:52:08 > 0:52:11- Is that a new haircut? - Yeah. For a while now.

0:52:11 > 0:52:14What are you doing in New York?

0:52:14 > 0:52:16I'm here with Derek and the boys.

0:52:16 > 0:52:18A mini vacation.

0:52:18 > 0:52:19The boys?

0:52:19 > 0:52:22Yeah. I thought you knew.

0:52:22 > 0:52:23How old?

0:52:23 > 0:52:24Five.

0:52:24 > 0:52:26Twins.

0:52:26 > 0:52:28Robert and Daniel and Alan.

0:52:29 > 0:52:31Yes.

0:52:32 > 0:52:35They're nice names. Where are they?

0:52:35 > 0:52:39Derek took them to the Natural History, so I could shop.

0:52:39 > 0:52:41Ah.

0:52:42 > 0:52:46It's so good to see you, Caden. I... How are things?

0:52:46 > 0:52:49You know, I was with Claire.

0:52:49 > 0:52:51And we have a daughter.

0:52:51 > 0:52:54But we're separated.

0:52:54 > 0:52:56How about with you?

0:52:56 > 0:52:58Good.

0:52:58 > 0:53:01I have a great job at Lens Shapers.

0:53:01 > 0:53:02Shapers. Great.

0:53:02 > 0:53:04You wear a lab coat.

0:53:06 > 0:53:08It's so good to see you.

0:53:08 > 0:53:10Oh, good to see you, Hazel.

0:53:39 > 0:53:41Hey!

0:53:45 > 0:53:51"How I love Maria. She is so much more of a father than Caden ever was

0:53:51 > 0:53:55"with his drinking and unfortunate body odour and rotting teeth.

0:53:55 > 0:53:59"I could only loathe him, and perhaps pity him.

0:53:59 > 0:54:01"But Maria..."

0:54:01 > 0:54:02KNOCK ON DOOR

0:54:03 > 0:54:05I want to come back.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08I want to take care of you and Olive.

0:54:08 > 0:54:10Ariel. Ariel. Fuck.

0:54:14 > 0:54:15Ariel.

0:54:21 > 0:54:22PHONE RINGS

0:54:24 > 0:54:27No, no, no, it's so late. Please.

0:54:27 > 0:54:28No, no, no. Please.

0:54:30 > 0:54:32Hello?

0:54:36 > 0:54:37OK.

0:54:47 > 0:54:49My father died.

0:54:53 > 0:54:54Oh, baby.

0:54:58 > 0:55:03They said his body was riddled with cancer and that he didn't know.

0:55:03 > 0:55:05That he went in because his finger hurt.

0:55:06 > 0:55:09They said he suffered horribly.

0:55:12 > 0:55:14And that he...

0:55:16 > 0:55:19That he called out for me before he died.

0:55:20 > 0:55:24They said that he said he regretted his life.

0:55:27 > 0:55:30And they said he said a lot of things.

0:55:31 > 0:55:32Too many to recount.

0:55:33 > 0:55:36They said it was the longest

0:55:36 > 0:55:39and saddest death-bed speech any of them had ever heard.

0:55:40 > 0:55:44There was so little left of him,

0:55:44 > 0:55:47they had to fill the coffin with cotton balls

0:55:47 > 0:55:49to keep him from rattling around.

0:55:55 > 0:55:57I'm really sorry for your loss.

0:55:57 > 0:55:59Thank you.

0:55:59 > 0:56:01- Can you excuse me a moment? - Of course.

0:56:01 > 0:56:04- I need to use the bathroom. - All right.

0:56:06 > 0:56:09God bless you and your family.

0:56:09 > 0:56:11God bless you. Will you excuse me?

0:56:11 > 0:56:13PHONE RINGS

0:56:13 > 0:56:17'Hazel. Leave a message or not. It's your dime.'

0:56:17 > 0:56:18BEEP SOUNDS

0:56:24 > 0:56:26Sorry.

0:56:27 > 0:56:28Caden?

0:56:28 > 0:56:31- Hi, Derek. - RADIO: 'Officials suspect arson.'

0:56:31 > 0:56:34In other news, a German pharmaceutical giant

0:56:34 > 0:56:37has won its libel suit against patients

0:56:37 > 0:56:40claiming chromosomal damage from use of the arthritis medication...

0:56:40 > 0:56:42Will you...

0:56:43 > 0:56:44Just tell me what to do?

0:56:47 > 0:56:50'In Pakistan today, the government there...'

0:56:59 > 0:57:02Caden, everyone has to figure out their own life, you know.

0:57:02 > 0:57:06I just want you to look at me the way you used to.

0:57:06 > 0:57:08Oh, honey, I can't any more.

0:57:09 > 0:57:11You know I'm sorry.

0:57:12 > 0:57:17I screwed everything up, and I don't have any courage.

0:57:17 > 0:57:19And I'm sorry.

0:57:19 > 0:57:20Caden...

0:57:21 > 0:57:23I'm OK.

0:57:23 > 0:57:26I don't want you to be OK.

0:57:26 > 0:57:28I mean...

0:57:28 > 0:57:30I do, but I... It just...

0:57:30 > 0:57:32It rips my guts out.

0:57:32 > 0:57:35I'll help you through any way I can.

0:57:35 > 0:57:38And I'll help you through, too.

0:57:40 > 0:57:42I'm fine.

0:57:42 > 0:57:44I have Derek.

0:57:51 > 0:57:53OK, I'm going.

0:58:00 > 0:58:02Honey, I'm coming...

0:58:02 > 0:58:06"Dear diary, today I felt a wetness between my legs.

0:58:06 > 0:58:09"Maria explained to me now I am a woman.

0:58:09 > 0:58:13"And being a woman is wonderful with Maria to guide me."

0:59:03 > 0:59:04Olive?

0:59:10 > 0:59:12Olive.

0:59:14 > 0:59:16Olive, it's Daddy.

0:59:20 > 0:59:22Olive, it's Daddy!

0:59:23 > 0:59:25Olive, it's Daddy!

0:59:25 > 0:59:27Olive, it's Daddy!

0:59:27 > 0:59:30Don't fucking stare at me! Olive!

0:59:30 > 0:59:35Get off! It's my daughter! That's my daughter!

0:59:35 > 0:59:37Get off!

0:59:37 > 0:59:39Get off!

0:59:43 > 0:59:47I won't settle for anything less than the brutal truth.

0:59:47 > 0:59:49Brutal.

0:59:50 > 0:59:51Brutal.

0:59:53 > 0:59:55Each day I'll hand you a scrap of paper.

0:59:55 > 0:59:57It'll tell you what happened to you that day.

0:59:57 > 0:59:58You felt a lump in your breast.

0:59:58 > 1:00:01- You looked at your wife and saw a stranger, etc.- Caden?

1:00:01 > 1:00:03What?!

1:00:03 > 1:00:07When are we going to get an audience in here?

1:00:07 > 1:00:09It's been 17 years.

1:00:11 > 1:00:15All right, I'm not excusing myself from this either.

1:00:15 > 1:00:17I will have someone play me

1:00:17 > 1:00:20to delve into the murky, cowardly depths

1:00:20 > 1:00:23of my lonely, fucked up being.

1:00:25 > 1:00:29And he'll get notes too, and those notes will correspond to the notes

1:00:29 > 1:00:33I truly receive every day from my god.

1:00:38 > 1:00:41Get to work!

1:01:04 > 1:01:06They fired me.

1:01:08 > 1:01:11- I caused an outbreak of conjunctivitis.- 'Oh, God.'

1:01:11 > 1:01:13I didn't wash my hands.

1:01:13 > 1:01:15- 'I had pinkeye hands.' - Oh, God.

1:01:15 > 1:01:17'I'm such a stupid cow.'

1:01:17 > 1:01:20Fucking private Christian school is killing us. You know, it's not cheap.

1:01:20 > 1:01:24It's Derek's thing. I don't believe in that shit, you know.

1:01:24 > 1:01:27You try to be a good person. I mean, that's all there is.

1:01:28 > 1:01:30Do you have anything for me, Caden?

1:01:30 > 1:01:32Er...

1:01:33 > 1:01:36I mean, I already have an assistant.

1:01:36 > 1:01:40Um... You know, I don't have a box office yet, but...

1:01:40 > 1:01:41Please, Caden.

1:01:41 > 1:01:44Please, Caden. I...

1:01:45 > 1:01:46Please, Caden.

1:01:50 > 1:01:52Sammy Barnathan?

1:02:02 > 1:02:05Sammy Barnathan.

1:02:09 > 1:02:10CAMERA PINGS

1:02:15 > 1:02:18I don't have a resume or a picture.

1:02:20 > 1:02:21I've never worked as an actor.

1:02:21 > 1:02:24Good. Tell me why you're here.

1:02:24 > 1:02:26Well, I've been...

1:02:27 > 1:02:30I've been following you for 20 years.

1:02:30 > 1:02:33So I knew about this audition because I follow you.

1:02:33 > 1:02:36And I've learned everything about you by following you.

1:02:36 > 1:02:39So hire me,

1:02:39 > 1:02:41and you'll see who you truly are.

1:02:42 > 1:02:45Peekaboo.

1:02:47 > 1:02:49OK.

1:02:52 > 1:02:54Hazel, I don't think we need to talk to anyone else.

1:02:54 > 1:02:55This guy has me down.

1:02:57 > 1:03:01I'm going to cast him right now. Then maybe you and I can get a drink.

1:03:01 > 1:03:04And we can try to figure out this thing between us, why I cried.

1:03:04 > 1:03:06Because I've never...

1:03:07 > 1:03:09..felt about anybody...

1:03:09 > 1:03:11the way I feel about you.

1:03:12 > 1:03:16And I want to fuck you until we merge into a chimera.

1:03:17 > 1:03:22A mythical beast with penis and vagina eternally fused.

1:03:22 > 1:03:25Two pairs of eyes that look only at each other.

1:03:25 > 1:03:28And lips ever touching.

1:03:30 > 1:03:32And one voice that...

1:03:32 > 1:03:34whispers to itself.

1:03:45 > 1:03:47OK.

1:03:48 > 1:03:50Yeah.

1:03:50 > 1:03:52You've got the part.

1:04:10 > 1:04:13I've never seen your shit grey.

1:04:14 > 1:04:16It's new.

1:04:20 > 1:04:22That's a good boy.

1:04:28 > 1:04:31When is it opening?

1:04:31 > 1:04:32When it's ready.

1:04:32 > 1:04:34We need to get in. It's bad out here.

1:04:34 > 1:04:36Sorry.

1:04:39 > 1:04:42You know, I was thinking of calling it Simulacrum.

1:04:43 > 1:04:45I don't even know what it means.

1:04:47 > 1:04:51Can I have a nickel if I doesn't play with my peepee no more?

1:04:51 > 1:04:53Yeah.

1:04:53 > 1:04:58How about The Flawed Light of Love and Grief?

1:04:58 > 1:04:59I'm not sure.

1:05:01 > 1:05:04Claire, I want you to play yourself.

1:05:04 > 1:05:07Sammy's going to move into your apartment set as me.

1:05:10 > 1:05:13It would be my honour to play your husband, Claire.

1:05:13 > 1:05:14You're an amazing actress.

1:05:14 > 1:05:18No, I saw you do Bernarda Alba last year at the Roundabout.

1:05:18 > 1:05:20Yeah?

1:05:21 > 1:05:23That was a fun play.

1:05:23 > 1:05:28Emotionally, it was tough, but fucking fulfilling.

1:05:28 > 1:05:31Plus, I loved working with so many strong female actresses.

1:05:33 > 1:05:37I am going to start thinking about myself.

1:05:41 > 1:05:43Start, huh?

1:05:44 > 1:05:46Who is Claire Keen?

1:05:46 > 1:05:49Claire Keen. Claire Keen.

1:05:49 > 1:05:51Why did we leave Adele, Caden?

1:05:54 > 1:05:55She left us.

1:05:58 > 1:06:00You know that better than anybody.

1:06:01 > 1:06:03Except me.

1:06:03 > 1:06:06An amazing artist, though.

1:06:06 > 1:06:08The best living artist.

1:06:08 > 1:06:11I mean, there's no-one who stares the truth in the face like she does.

1:06:11 > 1:06:13Sweet pussy, too.

1:06:16 > 1:06:18How do you know that?

1:06:19 > 1:06:21Oh...

1:06:21 > 1:06:23I read it.

1:06:30 > 1:06:31Anyway...

1:06:34 > 1:06:35I don't know where she is.

1:06:35 > 1:06:37SHIP'S HORN SOUNDS

1:06:37 > 1:06:39Well, maybe she's got a sublet in New York.

1:06:39 > 1:06:42Maybe she's got a retrospective at the Met.

1:06:42 > 1:06:44Maybe, baby.

1:06:52 > 1:06:53Why are you giving me this?

1:06:53 > 1:06:58I want to follow you there and see how you lose even more of yourself.

1:07:00 > 1:07:02Research.

1:07:04 > 1:07:05You know, for the part.

1:07:07 > 1:07:08Partner.

1:07:42 > 1:07:44BUZZ SOUNDS

1:07:55 > 1:07:57Hold it. Hold it, please.

1:07:57 > 1:07:59Hold it, please.

1:08:02 > 1:08:04I asked you to hold the door.

1:08:04 > 1:08:08I'm sorry. I pressed the button, but I think it was too late.

1:08:08 > 1:08:10You didn't press it.

1:08:12 > 1:08:14Have a good night.

1:08:14 > 1:08:15Yeah, thanks.

1:08:17 > 1:08:19- Are you Ellen? Ellen?- What?

1:08:19 > 1:08:21- Are you Ellen Bascomb?- What?

1:08:21 > 1:08:25I'm to give the key to 31Y to Ellen Bascomb.

1:08:26 > 1:08:28Yes, I'm Ellen.

1:08:28 > 1:08:31She said you should just go ahead and get started. And don't forget

1:08:31 > 1:08:35- to change the sheets.- OK, thanks. - Oh, sweetheart.

1:08:37 > 1:08:39SHOWER RUNS

1:08:47 > 1:08:48Adele?

1:08:57 > 1:08:59Adele?

1:09:03 > 1:09:08Hi, Ellen. Be a doll and do the sheets and whatever's in the hamper.

1:09:08 > 1:09:11Your money's under the toaster. Kisses, Adele.

1:09:11 > 1:09:15PS - Bag of stuff in bedroom closet for Goodwill. Take what you want.

1:09:38 > 1:09:40Went for a walk.

1:09:40 > 1:09:41I had to think.

1:09:49 > 1:09:52All night?

1:09:53 > 1:09:54You smell weird.

1:09:55 > 1:09:57Are you wearing lipstick?

1:09:58 > 1:09:59No.

1:10:01 > 1:10:02What do I smell like?

1:10:04 > 1:10:07Like bad? Like an old person?

1:10:07 > 1:10:09I don't know. Like mould and cleaning products.

1:10:09 > 1:10:12- Like you're menstruating. I don't know.- Menstruating?

1:10:12 > 1:10:14You tell me.

1:10:14 > 1:10:18I don't menstruate. I don't know how I could smell like I'm menstruating.

1:10:18 > 1:10:20I wouldn't know.

1:10:30 > 1:10:33I don't like the guy you got to play you.

1:10:33 > 1:10:35You don't like Sammy? Why? I think he's good.

1:10:35 > 1:10:36I think you should fire...

1:10:36 > 1:10:40Fuck you. I'm 45 years old. I don't want to do this shit any more.

1:10:40 > 1:10:43He's the best thing in the play, except you.

1:10:43 > 1:10:45He's coming on to me, grabbing my ass in rehearsal.

1:10:45 > 1:10:47- He's your husband.- Good, Jimmy.

1:10:47 > 1:10:51He's not my goddamn husband. You are. What the fuck is wrong with you?

1:10:52 > 1:10:54I'm going to rehearsal.

1:10:54 > 1:10:57It's about the play. We're getting at something real here.

1:10:57 > 1:11:00That's great, you guys. Beautiful, Sammy.

1:11:02 > 1:11:04Caden? Timeout?

1:11:04 > 1:11:05Yeah.

1:11:05 > 1:11:07What's up?

1:11:09 > 1:11:11Well, I feel we need a Hazel in here.

1:11:11 > 1:11:14I mean, there's a whole side of Caden

1:11:14 > 1:11:16I can't explore without a Hazel.

1:11:16 > 1:11:18I guess, yeah.

1:11:18 > 1:11:20I get to be a character?

1:11:20 > 1:11:22- Yeah.- Hooray.

1:11:26 > 1:11:29"Hi, Ellen. Crackerjack job last night.

1:11:29 > 1:11:30SHE COUGHS

1:11:30 > 1:11:32"Would you do sheets again?

1:11:32 > 1:11:37"We had quite a fuck, and it's musky and gross. Kisses, A."

1:11:38 > 1:11:39Hi, Adele.

1:11:39 > 1:11:40Realigned the cabinets.

1:11:40 > 1:11:43I just wanted to let you know I won a MacArthur grant.

1:11:43 > 1:11:48And I'm mounting a play which I think is going to be pure and truthful.

1:11:48 > 1:11:50Best, Ellen.

1:11:56 > 1:11:59I went for a walk. I had to think.

1:12:00 > 1:12:04Caden, what are you doing at night?

1:12:05 > 1:12:06I have a right to fucking know.

1:12:07 > 1:12:10I've been going to Adele's place.

1:12:13 > 1:12:14And cleaning it.

1:12:17 > 1:12:20Do you have any idea what I've given up for you?

1:12:20 > 1:12:22For this? For you? For you? KNOCKING

1:12:22 > 1:12:24Could you please get that?

1:12:31 > 1:12:34Uh-oh. This looks serious. Am I interrupting?

1:12:34 > 1:12:36What's going on, Hazel?

1:12:36 > 1:12:39I just wanted you to know that the actress playing me

1:12:39 > 1:12:41- is ready to start today. - That's great.

1:12:41 > 1:12:43That's all we need around here, is two Hazels.

1:12:43 > 1:12:45OK, I'll take that as my cue.

1:12:47 > 1:12:50- Maybe you could clean her toilet. - Maybe I will.

1:12:52 > 1:12:54This is over.

1:12:54 > 1:12:55No, Claire...

1:12:55 > 1:12:57I'm not talking to you.

1:12:57 > 1:13:00I didn't say... I was going to clean Hazel's toilet. He did.

1:13:00 > 1:13:03- But you thought it! - I thought it, but I didn't say it.

1:13:03 > 1:13:07I got an offer to do Needleman In A Haystack.

1:13:07 > 1:13:08And I'm going to take it.

1:13:08 > 1:13:10I want you out of the apartment.

1:13:10 > 1:13:13The real one. You can keep this one.

1:13:13 > 1:13:14Claire!

1:13:14 > 1:13:16Jesus.

1:13:16 > 1:13:18Claire!

1:13:18 > 1:13:21Hi, yeah, we're going to need a Claire replacement.

1:13:21 > 1:13:23Claire!

1:13:23 > 1:13:25I didn't say it.

1:13:31 > 1:13:35I already put out a call for a Claire replacement.

1:13:35 > 1:13:37But I'm afraid I'm going to have to move on.

1:13:37 > 1:13:40Just like that? You don't give a guy even a chance?

1:13:40 > 1:13:42I'm not a chance-giving girl.

1:13:42 > 1:13:44I'm a fun-loving girl, remember?

1:13:44 > 1:13:46I try and be fun-loving, see?

1:13:46 > 1:13:47SHE LAUGHS

1:13:47 > 1:13:51Sorry. My analyst says you have complexes.

1:13:51 > 1:13:54Once you enjoyed Needleman's complexes.

1:13:54 > 1:13:57- That's before my analyst taught me... - This is the last of my stuff.- Bye.

1:13:57 > 1:13:59Bye. From the top?

1:13:59 > 1:14:01Oh, Needleman, you had such potential.

1:14:01 > 1:14:02But I'm afraid I'm going to have to move on.

1:14:11 > 1:14:12CLAIRE LAUGHS

1:14:28 > 1:14:30Oh, Needleman, you had such potential.

1:14:30 > 1:14:33But I'm afraid I'm going to have to move on.

1:14:33 > 1:14:36Just like that? You don't even give a guy a chance?

1:14:36 > 1:14:39I'm not a chance-giving girl. I'm a fun-loving girl.

1:14:39 > 1:14:42Once you enjoyed Needleman's complexes.

1:14:42 > 1:14:45- That's before my analyst taught me... - This is a lie.

1:14:45 > 1:14:48Come here. I try to be fun-loving, see?

1:14:48 > 1:14:50- She told me your hatred of... - Will.

1:14:50 > 1:14:52Wall it up.

1:14:52 > 1:14:54All of it.

1:15:02 > 1:15:04Claire.

1:15:05 > 1:15:07BEEP SOUNDS

1:15:09 > 1:15:10Oh, Needleman.

1:15:10 > 1:15:11SHE LAUGHS

1:15:11 > 1:15:13All right.

1:15:13 > 1:15:14Oh!

1:15:15 > 1:15:17SHE COUGHS

1:15:17 > 1:15:19ADELE: Good for you with your grant.

1:15:19 > 1:15:22Listen, I fixed up the walk-in as a sort of bedroom if you want.

1:15:22 > 1:15:25We'd love to have you and you wouldn't have to shlep

1:15:25 > 1:15:29all the way to Queens. It's just a thought. Kisses, A.

1:15:39 > 1:15:41"Dear diary, I'm afraid I'm gravely ill.

1:15:43 > 1:15:47"It is perhaps times like these that one reflects on things past.

1:15:47 > 1:15:50"An article of clothing from when I was young. A green jacket.

1:15:50 > 1:15:52"A walk with my father.

1:15:52 > 1:15:53"A game we once played.

1:15:53 > 1:15:56"Pretend we're fairies.

1:15:56 > 1:15:58"I'm a girl fairy, and my name is Lauralee

1:15:58 > 1:16:01"and you're a boy fairy, and your name is Teetery.

1:16:01 > 1:16:03"Pretend when we're fairies, we fight each other.

1:16:03 > 1:16:06"And I say, 'Stop hitting me or I'll die.'

1:16:06 > 1:16:09"And you hit me again, and I say 'Now I have to die.'

1:16:09 > 1:16:11"And you say, 'But I'll miss you.'

1:16:11 > 1:16:14"And I say, 'But I have to.'

1:16:14 > 1:16:18"And you'll have to wait a million years to see me again.

1:16:18 > 1:16:22"And I'll be put in a box and all I'll need is a tiny glass of water

1:16:22 > 1:16:24"and lots of tiny pieces of pizza.

1:16:24 > 1:16:26"And the box will have wings like an airplane.

1:16:26 > 1:16:29"And you ask, 'Where will it take you?'

1:16:29 > 1:16:31"'Home,' I say."

1:16:47 > 1:16:49This is to hear.

1:16:50 > 1:16:55So... words English here, yeah?

1:17:19 > 1:17:21It's Maria. She did this.

1:17:28 > 1:17:30Your mother and Maria took you away.

1:17:30 > 1:17:32I've tried for years to find you. I didn't leave you.

1:17:36 > 1:17:38I'm not a homosexual.

1:17:40 > 1:17:42Well, she's a liar. She's lying to you.

1:17:50 > 1:17:51Maria is your lover?

1:17:58 > 1:18:01You have no idea how evil she is.

1:18:08 > 1:18:09I just want...

1:18:16 > 1:18:18Can you ever forgive me?

1:18:21 > 1:18:23For abandoning you.

1:18:33 > 1:18:35I will, I'll say it.

1:18:37 > 1:18:39For abandoning you...

1:18:41 > 1:18:43..to have anal sex...

1:18:43 > 1:18:46with my homosexual lover, Eric.

1:19:22 > 1:19:25I hope you are happy, faggot.

1:19:25 > 1:19:27I'm not happy.

1:19:28 > 1:19:29I'm not happy.

1:20:15 > 1:20:18I've talked to you before. This is not a play about dating.

1:20:18 > 1:20:21It's about death. Make it personal. Move along.

1:20:22 > 1:20:25He doesn't need to yell at them.

1:20:27 > 1:20:30It is a play about dating.

1:20:30 > 1:20:32It's not a play just about death.

1:20:32 > 1:20:34It's about everything.

1:20:34 > 1:20:39Dating, birth, death, life, family all that.

1:20:40 > 1:20:42- This doesn't look real.- What?

1:20:42 > 1:20:45- It's not real. - I can't hear you.

1:21:08 > 1:21:10TOOTING

1:21:10 > 1:21:12HONKING

1:21:15 > 1:21:16Morning, Haze.

1:21:16 > 1:21:19Hi, Caden. How was your night?

1:21:19 > 1:21:21It was OK. Yours?

1:21:21 > 1:21:24Phillip was colicky. I was up all night.

1:21:24 > 1:21:27- Oh, sorry.- Sorry.

1:21:27 > 1:21:30- Everybody here? - Sammy's not here.

1:21:30 > 1:21:34Jimmy called and said there's some subway problem.

1:21:34 > 1:21:36Sorry. Sorry.

1:21:36 > 1:21:37Hi, Hazel.

1:21:37 > 1:21:40Hi, Sammy.

1:21:43 > 1:21:45Sammy likes you.

1:21:56 > 1:21:59I need you to build this. This is just the facade.

1:21:59 > 1:22:02It's Adele's place. We'll be casting an Ellen.

1:22:02 > 1:22:04I can get you the interiors later.

1:22:04 > 1:22:06TOOTING

1:22:06 > 1:22:08A few days?

1:22:18 > 1:22:20Millicent Weems?

1:22:28 > 1:22:30Caden, this is...

1:22:30 > 1:22:33Hazel, what do you think of this title?

1:22:33 > 1:22:36Unknown, Unkissed and Lost?

1:22:36 > 1:22:39Ah...

1:22:41 > 1:22:44Anyway, this is Millicent Weems.

1:22:44 > 1:22:46Have a seat.

1:22:48 > 1:22:50How are you at cleaning?

1:22:51 > 1:22:53Very, very good at it.

1:22:53 > 1:22:57This part requires a lot of it. You'd be playing a cleaning lady.

1:22:57 > 1:23:01I played Egga, the cleaning lady, in Hedda Gabler at the Roundabout.

1:23:01 > 1:23:03Great. OK.

1:23:03 > 1:23:05And...

1:23:05 > 1:23:08Mrs Dobson in Scrub-A-Dub at the Pantages.

1:23:09 > 1:23:13You're weirdly close to what I visualise for this character.

1:23:16 > 1:23:18Glad to be weirdly close.

1:23:25 > 1:23:27Sorry, everybody. >

1:23:28 > 1:23:30Maurice, what's going on?

1:23:30 > 1:23:33I'm sorry. We have a couple of new guys on.

1:23:33 > 1:23:34We're not in sync yet.

1:23:34 > 1:23:36- We good to go? - Yes, sir.

1:23:39 > 1:23:41I'm sorry.

1:23:42 > 1:23:43(Fuck.)

1:23:44 > 1:23:46Are you Ellen?

1:23:46 > 1:23:48Are you Ellen Bascomb?

1:23:48 > 1:23:50Shit.

1:23:50 > 1:23:51Line, please?

1:23:54 > 1:23:56"What?"

1:23:56 > 1:23:57Right, right. What?

1:23:57 > 1:24:02I'm to give the key to 31Y to Ellen Bascomb.

1:24:02 > 1:24:04Yes, I'm Ellen.

1:24:08 > 1:24:10Oh, dear. It's the wrong key.

1:24:10 > 1:24:12ADELE: I'll be in in a second.

1:24:12 > 1:24:13- Did you hear that?- What?

1:24:15 > 1:24:17Caden, you're breaking the fourth wall.

1:24:17 > 1:24:18This is the wrong key.

1:24:18 > 1:24:20I'm supposed to open the door.

1:24:20 > 1:24:22Hold on.

1:24:22 > 1:24:24- Are you in there? - There's no-one in there.

1:24:25 > 1:24:27Adele?

1:24:27 > 1:24:28Caden.

1:24:29 > 1:24:32I'm jumping in the shower. I'll be out in a second.

1:24:34 > 1:24:36Do you want some coffee? I can make a fresh pot.

1:24:37 > 1:24:40Did you look at the new painting on my easel?

1:24:40 > 1:24:41What do you think?

1:24:41 > 1:24:44Hey, thanks for the fuck this morning.

1:24:44 > 1:24:46People don't walk like that.

1:24:46 > 1:24:48What? Is it too...?

1:24:48 > 1:24:50No, just walk like yourself.

1:24:50 > 1:24:52Watch. Watch this.

1:24:55 > 1:24:56I gotta go.

1:24:57 > 1:24:59Watch this.

1:25:16 > 1:25:20Where's Hazel and Sammy?

1:25:26 > 1:25:28Sammy.

1:25:28 > 1:25:29Sammy.

1:25:29 > 1:25:31THEY LAUGH

1:25:31 > 1:25:32- Sammy.- Hi, Caden.

1:25:32 > 1:25:34What are you doing?

1:25:34 > 1:25:36I was being you.

1:25:37 > 1:25:39You know, you like Hazel, I like Hazel.

1:25:39 > 1:25:41This Hazel doesn't exist for you.

1:25:41 > 1:25:43If you want to like a Hazel, like that one.

1:25:43 > 1:25:45That's what I tried to tell him.

1:25:45 > 1:25:48No harm, no foul, Caden. It's equity break anyway.

1:25:48 > 1:25:50Ten minutes, everybody!

1:25:51 > 1:25:53- Hazel.- What?

1:25:53 > 1:25:55You don't like him, do you?

1:25:55 > 1:25:57Yeah, he reminds me of you.

1:25:57 > 1:25:58HE LAUGHS

1:25:58 > 1:26:01- I'M- me. You don't need someone to remind you of me.

1:26:01 > 1:26:04Oh, don't worry, Caden.

1:26:04 > 1:26:07I like you more. I do. It's just, Sammy's fun.

1:26:07 > 1:26:09MOBILE RINGS

1:26:09 > 1:26:10I'm fun.

1:26:10 > 1:26:12Oh, sweetie, no, you're not.

1:26:12 > 1:26:14Hold on a sec. ..Yes?

1:26:14 > 1:26:16- 'Is this Caden Cotard?'- Yes.

1:26:16 > 1:26:19'This is Officer Melnin of Schenectady PD. I'm sorry

1:26:19 > 1:26:22'to inform you your mother's been the victim of a home invasion.'

1:26:22 > 1:26:23What does that mean?

1:26:23 > 1:26:25'She is dead.'

1:26:32 > 1:26:34Was my father standing with us?

1:26:36 > 1:26:38I don't know what he looks like.

1:26:38 > 1:26:40He's dead.

1:26:40 > 1:26:43So he looks dead, I guess.

1:26:43 > 1:26:45Probably wasn't him, then.

1:26:45 > 1:26:47He was a big guy.

1:26:51 > 1:26:53Anyway...

1:26:57 > 1:26:59Thanks for coming with me.

1:27:01 > 1:27:02That's OK.

1:27:04 > 1:27:06I asked Hazel,

1:27:06 > 1:27:09but she was busy tonight, and you're the next best thing.

1:27:09 > 1:27:11I mean,

1:27:11 > 1:27:14it's not that you're the next best thing,

1:27:14 > 1:27:17but because you play her, it feels comforting.

1:27:19 > 1:27:20Does that make sense?

1:27:23 > 1:27:28Although the thing is, offstage you're nothing like her.

1:27:28 > 1:27:30But you play her very well, though.

1:27:40 > 1:27:43Did Hazel mention what she was doing tonight?

1:27:43 > 1:27:46Because I called her house before we left, and her husband told me

1:27:46 > 1:27:49she wasn't going to be back till late.

1:27:49 > 1:27:52And I just thought that was weird, because she said Phillip was sick.

1:27:54 > 1:27:56She's having dinner with Sammy.

1:27:56 > 1:27:58- That's interesting. - He's supposed to like me.

1:27:58 > 1:28:00I'll have another talk with him.

1:28:05 > 1:28:08Will you excuse me? I need to go to the bathroom.

1:28:12 > 1:28:13Don't forget your phone.

1:28:16 > 1:28:17Thanks, Yammy.

1:28:23 > 1:28:26'It's Hazel. Leave a message or not. It's your dime.'

1:28:35 > 1:28:37You can stay in my parents' room.

1:28:40 > 1:28:44ENGAGED TONE ON PHONE

1:28:45 > 1:28:48I thought someone would have cleaned it up.

1:28:48 > 1:28:49Who?

1:28:51 > 1:28:52I don't know. Someone.

1:28:56 > 1:28:59This is my room. You can sleep here.

1:28:59 > 1:29:02Where are you going to sleep?

1:29:02 > 1:29:04The living room couch.

1:29:04 > 1:29:07Don't you want to sleep with me?

1:29:09 > 1:29:11It's just sex.

1:29:11 > 1:29:13OK.

1:29:13 > 1:29:15If you think it's OK.

1:29:17 > 1:29:19How can you be like that?

1:29:19 > 1:29:22I get undressed every day. >

1:29:22 > 1:29:24In front of someone is different.

1:29:25 > 1:29:27I don't see why.

1:29:27 > 1:29:29Maybe because you have a beautiful body.

1:29:29 > 1:29:31Maybe that makes it easier.

1:29:31 > 1:29:33Yeah, I suppose it might.

1:29:33 > 1:29:35Do you want to fuck?

1:29:35 > 1:29:39I do. Um, do you?

1:29:39 > 1:29:41Take your clothes off.

1:29:41 > 1:29:43I'm sorry.

1:29:43 > 1:29:45I'm very, very lonely.

1:29:48 > 1:29:50I don't...

1:29:51 > 1:29:54..know what's wrong. I just...

1:29:54 > 1:29:56HE SOBS

1:29:56 > 1:29:58I'm sorry.

1:30:00 > 1:30:02Do you understand?

1:30:02 > 1:30:06I mean, can you understand loneliness?

1:30:08 > 1:30:10Yeah. I mean...

1:30:11 > 1:30:15I don't know, I... I feel OK, mostly.

1:30:17 > 1:30:18Fucking might help.

1:30:21 > 1:30:23I'm sorry.

1:30:23 > 1:30:25It's OK, I don't mind.

1:30:25 > 1:30:28Take your clothes off.

1:30:29 > 1:30:31You're very pretty.

1:30:31 > 1:30:32Thanks.

1:30:32 > 1:30:36Sometimes I wish I could be... pretty like that. >

1:30:37 > 1:30:39What, you wish you were a girl?

1:30:39 > 1:30:41Sometimes I think I might have been better at it.

1:30:41 > 1:30:46Interesting. It's kind of a drag in a lot of ways.

1:30:46 > 1:30:48Do you like guys?

1:30:48 > 1:30:51No! I only...love women.

1:30:51 > 1:30:54Well, I'm getting cold.

1:31:06 > 1:31:07Pretty Caden.

1:31:10 > 1:31:13Thanks for saying that.

1:31:15 > 1:31:16Come to bed, pretty Caden.

1:31:22 > 1:31:26I shouldn't have drunk so much fucking beer last night.

1:31:29 > 1:31:31< What are you going to do about it?

1:31:31 > 1:31:32Get lunch. What are you going to do?

1:31:32 > 1:31:34Good, Roland.

1:31:34 > 1:31:35< Thanks, Caden.

1:31:35 > 1:31:37We need to fire him.

1:31:39 > 1:31:41We don't need to fire him.

1:31:41 > 1:31:43Jeremy's playing to us.

1:31:43 > 1:31:47Tell him to talk to Donna, and we'll hear what we hear.

1:31:47 > 1:31:50Sammy's explaining too much. It feels expository.

1:31:50 > 1:31:53It needs to be shorthand, like, "Jeremy, big."

1:31:53 > 1:31:55Caden, can we stop a second?

1:31:57 > 1:31:58Sure.

1:31:58 > 1:32:01If Hazel's in love with Sammy, and Caden's in love with Hazel,

1:32:01 > 1:32:03there would be a big confrontation where

1:32:03 > 1:32:08Caden turns to me and says, "It's obvious he's a substitute for me."

1:32:08 > 1:32:12Then I think Hazel would have a good moment where she cries

1:32:12 > 1:32:14or gets angry... I'm not sure which yet,

1:32:14 > 1:32:17- but I think it's dramatically sound...- That didn't happen, Caden.

1:32:17 > 1:32:20- I think Hazel would do that, Hazel. - But Hazel- hasn't- done that, Tammy.

1:32:20 > 1:32:22Caden, what do you think?

1:32:27 > 1:32:31I...I feel like we could... we could try it.

1:32:31 > 1:32:33Great.

1:32:33 > 1:32:34Fuck.

1:32:38 > 1:32:41Let's try it.

1:32:41 > 1:32:45Maybe it could happen at the director's table.

1:32:48 > 1:32:50Fuck.

1:32:51 > 1:32:55You know, Tammy's right. I don't understand why you're with Sammy.

1:32:57 > 1:33:00He's nice, he's available, he fucks me without crying.

1:33:00 > 1:33:03Since when are you available?

1:33:03 > 1:33:05Derek left...

1:33:05 > 1:33:07because of you.

1:33:09 > 1:33:12When? How come you never told me?

1:33:12 > 1:33:16I don't know, Caden. How come a lot of things, huh?

1:33:16 > 1:33:20Fuck. I gotta let go of the actor who played Derek. What's his name?

1:33:20 > 1:33:24What? That is such a romantic response. I am touched.

1:33:24 > 1:33:26- It's not my response... - Derek is played by...

1:33:26 > 1:33:29It crossed my mind. We have enormous budgetary concerns here.

1:33:29 > 1:33:31Joe...

1:33:32 > 1:33:33Joe.

1:33:33 > 1:33:35Stop. OK? No, just stop.

1:33:35 > 1:33:39I do not like Tammy, and she's nothing like me.

1:33:39 > 1:33:42- How can you like her, anyway? - She looks like you.

1:33:42 > 1:33:44Joe Abernathy. No, she does not.

1:33:44 > 1:33:46She offered to have sex with me. Abernathy?

1:33:46 > 1:33:48Yeah.

1:33:48 > 1:33:50- Was it good? - It was nice.

1:33:50 > 1:33:54I'm just being honest. It was nice. It wasn't earth-shattering.

1:33:56 > 1:33:58- Did you cry?- No.

1:33:58 > 1:34:00You're making progress.

1:34:02 > 1:34:04OK, I cried a little before.

1:34:12 > 1:34:15Hazel, you've been a part of me forever. Don't you know that?

1:34:19 > 1:34:23I breathe your name in every exhalation.

1:34:26 > 1:34:28What are we doing?

1:34:28 > 1:34:29I don't know.

1:34:48 > 1:34:52Oh, this is the place I stayed with Derek and the kids.

1:34:52 > 1:34:53Yeah, we're almost...

1:34:53 > 1:34:55Caden...

1:34:57 > 1:34:59Caden...!

1:34:59 > 1:35:02- Caden! Caden, look at me! - What are you doing?

1:35:02 > 1:35:04Sammy, stay right where you are. I'm coming up.

1:35:04 > 1:35:07There's nothing to talk about, Hazel. It's not your fault.

1:35:07 > 1:35:09What are you doing?

1:35:09 > 1:35:10I've watched you forever, Caden.

1:35:10 > 1:35:13But you've never really looked at anyone other than yourself.

1:35:13 > 1:35:17So watch me. Watch my heart break.

1:35:17 > 1:35:19Watch me jump.

1:35:21 > 1:35:23Watch me learn that after death there's nothing.

1:35:23 > 1:35:25No more watching, no more following, no love.

1:35:25 > 1:35:30Say goodbye to Hazel for me. And say it for yourself too.

1:35:30 > 1:35:32None of us has much time.

1:35:32 > 1:35:34Sammy! Come down!

1:35:34 > 1:35:38Hazel, I love...you!

1:35:38 > 1:35:39Sammy!

1:35:39 > 1:35:42I didn't jump, Sammy.

1:35:43 > 1:35:45A man stopped me before I jumped. Get up!

1:35:48 > 1:35:50I didn't jump.

1:35:56 > 1:35:58I know how to do it now.

1:35:58 > 1:36:02There are nearly 13 million people in the world.

1:36:02 > 1:36:04I mean, can you imagine that many people?

1:36:04 > 1:36:06And none of those people is an extra.

1:36:07 > 1:36:11They're all leads in their own stories.

1:36:11 > 1:36:13They have to be given their due.

1:36:13 > 1:36:15I know how to do it now.

1:36:15 > 1:36:18There are 13 million people in this world.

1:36:18 > 1:36:20Can you imagine how many people that is?

1:36:20 > 1:36:22None of those people are an extra.

1:36:22 > 1:36:24They're all a lead in their own story.

1:36:24 > 1:36:27They have got to be given their due.

1:36:27 > 1:36:28Do you see what I'm saying?

1:36:29 > 1:36:31Come over tonight.

1:36:34 > 1:36:36Please.

1:36:37 > 1:36:41You know, we could get a place together. We could get a loft.

1:36:41 > 1:36:45God, Caden, that sounds nice. I miss my daughter.

1:36:45 > 1:36:48Maybe she could come live with us.

1:36:48 > 1:36:51I miss Olive. And the other one.

1:36:51 > 1:36:53I'm a bad person.

1:36:53 > 1:36:55Oh, no, you're not.

1:36:55 > 1:36:59I am. I should never have gone out with Sammy.

1:36:59 > 1:37:00I was just trying to get to you.

1:37:00 > 1:37:04You can't cause someone to kill himself.

1:37:04 > 1:37:06He was very troubled.

1:37:06 > 1:37:09God, Caden.

1:37:11 > 1:37:14I wish we had this when we were young.

1:37:17 > 1:37:19And all those years in between.

1:37:19 > 1:37:22My heart aches so much for you.

1:37:22 > 1:37:24We're here, Caden.

1:37:25 > 1:37:27I'm here.

1:37:27 > 1:37:29I'm aching for it being over.

1:37:31 > 1:37:35Yeah. The end is built into the beginning.

1:37:36 > 1:37:39What can you do?

1:37:39 > 1:37:40God, you're just perfect.

1:37:40 > 1:37:42I'm a mess.

1:37:42 > 1:37:45But we fit, don't we?

1:37:45 > 1:37:46Yeah.

1:37:56 > 1:37:58It doesn't always happen for me now,

1:37:58 > 1:38:03because of the medication and everything. I take a lot of pills.

1:38:03 > 1:38:05It's OK.

1:38:05 > 1:38:07I'm embarrassed.

1:38:07 > 1:38:10I don't want you to think it's about you or me.

1:38:10 > 1:38:12It's OK.

1:38:54 > 1:38:56I have a title.

1:38:58 > 1:39:01The Obscure Moon

1:39:01 > 1:39:03Lighting An Obscure World.

1:39:07 > 1:39:09I think it might be too much.

1:39:12 > 1:39:13Yeah, probably.

1:39:25 > 1:39:28< Sir, could you come up here, please?

1:39:45 > 1:39:48Might be smoke inhalation.

1:39:53 > 1:39:56'It's Hazel. Leave a message or not. It's your dime.'

1:39:56 > 1:39:58I know how to do the play now.

1:40:02 > 1:40:05It'll all take place over the course of one day...

1:40:06 > 1:40:09..and that day will be the day before you died.

1:40:11 > 1:40:13It was the happiest day of my life.

1:40:16 > 1:40:19And I'll be able to relive it forever.

1:40:19 > 1:40:21See you soon.

1:40:26 > 1:40:30So, have you got any thoughts for today's rehearsal?

1:40:32 > 1:40:34I have a new title, maybe.

1:40:34 > 1:40:37- Oh. - Infectious Diseases In Cattle.

1:40:37 > 1:40:38Oh.

1:40:41 > 1:40:43The title means a lot of things.

1:40:43 > 1:40:45You'll see, it means a lot.

1:40:56 > 1:40:59I need a Caden for my Hazel.

1:40:59 > 1:41:02I'd very much like to play Caden.

1:41:03 > 1:41:05I know...

1:41:05 > 1:41:09I know...I know that it would be non-traditional casting,

1:41:09 > 1:41:13but I think I could do it. I think I understand him.

1:41:13 > 1:41:16I don't understand him.

1:41:16 > 1:41:20Well, Caden Cotard is a man...

1:41:20 > 1:41:22already dead.

1:41:22 > 1:41:29He lives in a half-world between stasis and antistasis.

1:41:29 > 1:41:32And time is concentrated, chronology confused.

1:41:32 > 1:41:36Yet up until recently, he's...

1:41:36 > 1:41:39strived valiantly to...

1:41:39 > 1:41:42make sense of his situation.

1:41:42 > 1:41:44But now he...

1:41:44 > 1:41:46he's turned to stone.

1:41:46 > 1:41:49OK. Sounds good.

1:41:49 > 1:41:50OK.

1:41:52 > 1:41:56- Thanks!- She's right? I didn't see that at all.

1:41:56 > 1:41:57I saw it as much more hopeful.

1:41:59 > 1:42:03None of those people is extras.

1:42:03 > 1:42:05They're all leads in their own stories.

1:42:08 > 1:42:12No, this is...this is tedious. This is nothing.

1:42:15 > 1:42:19Hi, your scene's over. Would you leave the stage?

1:42:19 > 1:42:22- What is she doing? - He's directing.

1:42:22 > 1:42:25Can I get you down at the coffin there?

1:42:25 > 1:42:28She's not getting the feel of you, Caden.

1:42:28 > 1:42:31You don't move around like that. You don't talk to people.

1:42:35 > 1:42:38Sit on the ground there. OK, everybody, let's run it.

1:42:40 > 1:42:43Everything is more complicated than you think.

1:42:43 > 1:42:46You only see a tenth of what is true.

1:42:46 > 1:42:51There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make.

1:42:51 > 1:42:54You can destroy your life every time you choose.

1:42:54 > 1:42:57But maybe you won't know for 20 years

1:42:57 > 1:43:00and you may never, ever trace it to its source.

1:43:00 > 1:43:02And you only get one chance to play it out.

1:43:02 > 1:43:05Just try and figure out your own divorce.

1:43:05 > 1:43:10And they say there is no fate. But there is. It's what you create.

1:43:12 > 1:43:16And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here

1:43:16 > 1:43:19for a fraction of a fraction of a second.

1:43:19 > 1:43:22Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born.

1:43:22 > 1:43:27But while alive, you wait in vain wasting years for a phone call

1:43:27 > 1:43:32or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right.

1:43:32 > 1:43:36And it never comes, or it seems to, but it doesn't really.

1:43:36 > 1:43:40So you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope

1:43:40 > 1:43:44that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected.

1:43:44 > 1:43:46Something to make you feel whole.

1:43:46 > 1:43:50Something to make you feel loved.

1:43:50 > 1:43:53And the truth is...

1:43:54 > 1:43:57..I feel so angry.

1:43:57 > 1:44:00And the truth is...

1:44:00 > 1:44:03I feel so fucking sad.

1:44:03 > 1:44:05And the truth is...

1:44:05 > 1:44:10I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long.

1:44:10 > 1:44:13And for just as long, I've been pretending I'm OK

1:44:13 > 1:44:16just to get along, just for...

1:44:16 > 1:44:19I don't know why.

1:44:19 > 1:44:24Maybe because no-one wants to hear about my misery,

1:44:24 > 1:44:26because they have their own.

1:44:26 > 1:44:27Well...

1:44:30 > 1:44:31..fuck everybody.

1:44:33 > 1:44:35Amen.

1:44:35 > 1:44:36Amen.

1:44:51 > 1:44:53- Delightful.- Thanks.

1:44:53 > 1:44:55I'm out of ideas.

1:44:58 > 1:45:00I'm dead.

1:45:01 > 1:45:07Well, I could take over as you for a bit until you feel refreshed.

1:45:07 > 1:45:11I think you're tired, Caden. All these years of creative work.

1:45:11 > 1:45:14I think you just need some...

1:45:14 > 1:45:17time to regroup.

1:45:18 > 1:45:21I need to keep my hand in.

1:45:21 > 1:45:23- Well, Ellen needs to be filled. - What do you mean?

1:45:23 > 1:45:25Her role. Just for a bit.

1:45:25 > 1:45:26It's a choice role.

1:45:29 > 1:45:31I do like to clean.

1:45:45 > 1:45:46Ellen?

1:45:51 > 1:45:53Yes?

1:45:53 > 1:45:55Caden asked me to give you this.

1:45:55 > 1:45:58You're to keep it in all the time.

1:46:02 > 1:46:06'So touched by the sadness of Adele's neighbour,

1:46:06 > 1:46:08'so close to death.

1:46:08 > 1:46:11'Say, "Thank you," to Adele's neighbour.'

1:46:11 > 1:46:13Thank you.

1:46:13 > 1:46:15You're very welcome, young lady.

1:46:15 > 1:46:17'Now say, "Have a very good day." '

1:46:17 > 1:46:19Have a very good day.

1:46:19 > 1:46:20I will indeed.

1:46:24 > 1:46:26'Reach for the toilet paper.

1:46:28 > 1:46:30'Wrap some around your hand.

1:46:31 > 1:46:33'Wipe yourself.'

1:46:38 > 1:46:40'There was supposed to be something else.

1:46:41 > 1:46:43'You were supposed to have something -

1:46:43 > 1:46:46'a calm.

1:46:46 > 1:46:48'Love.

1:46:48 > 1:46:50'Children.'

1:46:50 > 1:46:52A child, at least.

1:46:53 > 1:46:55Children.

1:46:55 > 1:46:58Meaning.

1:47:05 > 1:47:07Everything OK, Eric?

1:47:09 > 1:47:13Everything is everything.

1:47:13 > 1:47:15He hates me.

1:47:15 > 1:47:17I disappointed him, and he hates me.

1:47:19 > 1:47:23Everyone is disappointing... when you know someone.

1:47:28 > 1:47:33'I remember having that picnic with my mother. Look at me.'

1:47:33 > 1:47:35Ellen, what is it?

1:47:35 > 1:47:37'I was so young.'

1:47:37 > 1:47:40I'm going to remember this moment for the rest of my life, Mama.

1:47:40 > 1:47:44- And in exactly 20 years, come here with- my- daughter

1:47:44 > 1:47:46and have exactly the same picnic.

1:47:46 > 1:47:48'There was so much hope.'

1:47:48 > 1:47:50Baby, that the loveliest thing I've ever heard.

1:47:52 > 1:47:55'Oh, God...

1:47:55 > 1:47:59'Sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry.'

1:48:17 > 1:48:19'Where is my little girl?

1:48:19 > 1:48:21'Where is my little girl?

1:48:21 > 1:48:24'Where is my little girl?'

1:48:33 > 1:48:37'Look at the night table for a note from Adele.'

1:48:37 > 1:48:40'Adele died of lung cancer last night.

1:48:40 > 1:48:42'You may stay on if you like.'

1:48:44 > 1:48:46'Stare out the window.

1:48:48 > 1:48:52'Remember the time she got you to pose for one of her paintings?

1:48:52 > 1:48:54'How she told you how beautiful you were?

1:48:54 > 1:48:57'How she made you feel pretty again for a little while?

1:48:57 > 1:49:00'Think how you'll miss her.

1:49:00 > 1:49:03'Stand up.'

1:49:09 > 1:49:11BOOMING

1:49:11 > 1:49:15'Now it is waiting, and nobody cares.

1:49:15 > 1:49:18'And when your wait is over, this room will still exist...'

1:49:18 > 1:49:20SHOUTS OF "FREEDOM!"

1:49:20 > 1:49:24'..and it will continue to hold shoes and dresses and boxes,

1:49:24 > 1:49:27'and maybe someday another waiting person.

1:49:27 > 1:49:29'And maybe not.

1:49:29 > 1:49:31'The room doesn't care either.'

1:49:32 > 1:49:36SHOUTING AND SCREAMING

1:49:42 > 1:49:45SILENCE THEN BOOM

1:49:47 > 1:49:48'Walk.'

1:49:48 > 1:49:50VOICE FIZZLES OUT WITH STATIC

1:49:53 > 1:49:55HE WAILS

1:50:08 > 1:50:12There's nobody running the elevator any more.

1:50:46 > 1:50:50'What was once before you, an exciting and mysterious future,

1:50:50 > 1:50:55'is now behind you - lived, understood, disappointing.

1:50:55 > 1:50:57'You realise you are not special.

1:50:57 > 1:51:00'You have struggled into existence

1:51:00 > 1:51:02'and are now slipping silently out of it.

1:51:02 > 1:51:05'This is everyone's experience.

1:51:05 > 1:51:07'Every single one.

1:51:07 > 1:51:09'The specifics hardly matter.

1:51:09 > 1:51:12'Everyone is everyone.

1:51:12 > 1:51:14'So you are Adele,

1:51:14 > 1:51:19'Hazel, Claire, Olive.

1:51:19 > 1:51:21'You are Ellen.

1:51:21 > 1:51:24'All her meagre sadnesses are yours.

1:51:24 > 1:51:26'All her loneliness.

1:51:26 > 1:51:28'The grey, straw-like hair.

1:51:28 > 1:51:31'Her red, raw hands.

1:51:31 > 1:51:32'It's yours.

1:51:32 > 1:51:36'It is time for you to understand this.'

1:51:45 > 1:51:47'Walk.'

1:51:54 > 1:51:57'As the people who adore you stop adoring you, as they die,

1:51:57 > 1:52:00'as they move on,

1:52:00 > 1:52:04'as you shed them, as you shed your beauty, your youth,

1:52:04 > 1:52:07'as the world forgets you, as you recognise your transience,

1:52:07 > 1:52:11'as you begin to lose your characteristics one by one,

1:52:11 > 1:52:15'as you learn there is no-one watching you and there never was,

1:52:15 > 1:52:18'you think only about driving.

1:52:18 > 1:52:22'Not coming from any place, not arriving any place.

1:52:22 > 1:52:26'Just driving, counting off time.

1:52:26 > 1:52:30'Now you are here. It's 7.43.

1:52:30 > 1:52:33'Now you are here. It's 7.44. Now you are...

1:52:35 > 1:52:36'..gone.'

1:52:42 > 1:52:44Where is everybody? >

1:52:46 > 1:52:48Mostly dead.

1:52:48 > 1:52:50< Some have left.

1:52:57 > 1:52:59Would you sit with me for a moment?

1:52:59 > 1:53:01Cos I'm very tired

1:53:01 > 1:53:03and lonely.

1:53:22 > 1:53:24I feel like I know you.

1:53:24 > 1:53:28Well, I was the mother in Ellen's dream.

1:53:28 > 1:53:30Yes.

1:53:33 > 1:53:36You seem a bit older than I remember.

1:53:36 > 1:53:38That dream was quite a while ago.

1:53:38 > 1:53:40'Apologise.'

1:53:40 > 1:53:43I didn't mean to say you looked old.

1:53:52 > 1:53:56There's everyone's dreams in all those apartments.

1:53:59 > 1:54:01All those thoughts

1:54:01 > 1:54:04I'll never know. That's the truth of it.

1:54:10 > 1:54:12I wanted to do that picnic with my daughter.

1:54:16 > 1:54:19I feel like I've disappointed you terribly.

1:54:19 > 1:54:21Oh, no.

1:54:21 > 1:54:23I am so proud of you.

1:54:23 > 1:54:26'Ask her if you can put your head on her shoulder.'

1:54:26 > 1:54:29Can I lay my head on your shoulder?

1:54:29 > 1:54:31Yes.

1:54:40 > 1:54:42I love you.

1:54:45 > 1:54:47I love you too.

1:55:09 > 1:55:11I know how to do this play now.

1:55:14 > 1:55:15I have an idea.

1:55:15 > 1:55:17I think...

1:55:17 > 1:55:19if everyone...

1:55:19 > 1:55:21'Die.'

1:55:36 > 1:55:39Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:55:39 > 1:55:42Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk