0:00:04 > 0:00:08THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS VERY STRONG LANGUAGE
0:00:10 > 0:00:14Joe! I need for you to come inside now!
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Comin'!
0:00:15 > 0:00:17No, now!
0:00:17 > 0:00:19Your father's having one of his turns.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21- HE SHOUTS: - In a minute!
0:00:21 > 0:00:27- FROM GRAMOPHONE: - '..A minute... A minute... A minute...'
0:00:27 > 0:00:32'A minute... A minute... A minute... A minute...'
0:00:45 > 0:00:52'60s BEAT MUSIC
0:02:14 > 0:02:17TV: 'Next week on Harper's West One, special guest star
0:02:17 > 0:02:20'John Leyton, star of Biggles as you've never seen him before.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23'That's Thursday, eight o'clock, Harper's West One.'
0:02:37 > 0:02:41RADIO: '..and a very special good morning to the housewife at number 26...'
0:02:41 > 0:02:42Hello?
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- Would sir need any assistance? - I'm... They're recording my song.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Well, then, you'll do. I need to have a word about my ceiling.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Sorry, I can't...- I'm the landlady. This is my building.- ..Help.- Pardon?
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- I can't help. I only just... - It's none of my business,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01but they've had some very odd types up there.
0:03:01 > 0:03:02My Albert won't stand for it.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06As long as they keep themselves to themselves, but this takes the biscuit!
0:03:06 > 0:03:11- What do you make of that? It's all black and treacly.- Yes.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14- Some sort of glue. They've only been here a fortnight.- Oh, dear.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17Had some terrible complaints from the neighbours about the noise.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Grown men playing silly beggars with records.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I only hope it doesn't add up to nothing.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Actually, I've already bought two.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25You should see the state of it up there.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28I'm never going to be able to let it again now, am I? You're a quiet one, aren't you?
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- Sorry. Just a bit... - Shy? Not much good for a pop star.
0:03:31 > 0:03:35- Actually, I'm classically trained. Biggles is doing my song.- Biggles?
0:03:35 > 0:03:39- Off the telly.- Of course he is, dear. Now, come on. Let's find trouble.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40Yes, let's.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46How many musicians am I paying for? For God's sake.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Oh, Major, you'll do. I've had a disaster in my stockroom.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Just arrived myself, Violet, dear.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Joe will be down as soon as he's spotted.- Thank you.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Must crack on, woman, crack on!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Here, I've had some very nice oxblood belts in,
0:03:57 > 0:03:59go lovely with them brogues.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03- Ta-ra!- Anton, isn't it?- Sorry? - Anton Hollywood, pianist?- Yes.
0:04:03 > 0:04:05- Well, no.- Well, I'm afraid Joe's decision is final,
0:04:05 > 0:04:07he doesn't feel you've got what it takes.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10And if you've come for compensation, you can trot off back to wherever the hell...
0:04:10 > 0:04:13No, it's Geoff, not just Geoff. Geoff Goddard.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17- Oh! The author! Tunesmith! - Composer.- Composer, yes, of course.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20The name Anton Hollywood was Joe's idea, it's not real.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24It's a stage name. He thought he'd do a Russ Conway with me, didn't work out.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27So you're Goddard, are you? Read Goddard, didn't think Hollywood.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31- No, well, you wouldn't. - Don't slouch, young man! Upright! Shoulders back!
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Splendid song!
0:04:33 > 0:04:34(Thank you.)
0:04:34 > 0:04:40In fact, I wanted to thank you for the opportunity, really.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44- This is a very good...opportunity. And...- Very touching.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46It's Joe you should thank. He's the one that spotted your talent.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50I know Fanny Adams about the tunes. I just pull the purse strings.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- I'm in plastics.- Really? - Yes, my son took me to a record shop, selling like hot cakes.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57What's his name? Lonnie? Larry? Big nose, curly hair, plays the broom.
0:04:57 > 0:05:02- Donegan? Lonnie Donegan?- That's the chap! Expanding market, see?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06Good business opportunity. Met Joe, thought, "That's my boy.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09"He knows his Indians." Anyway, it's him you should thank.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11TOILET FLUSHING
0:05:11 > 0:05:15< That'll be the last time anyone uses that this morning.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17< Carry on singing, I'll be back in a minute.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Oh, hello, Geoff! I know what you're thinking, why are they singing in the toilet?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Well, once I've worked my magic and added some reverb,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27it'll sound more like a...like a cathedral! Do you need to go?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- No. It would be embarrassing in front of everyone singing.- Speaking of which, backup singers, that is.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36- I've had a quick look at the figures. Are you sure you need them?- Course we need them!- And an orchestra?
0:05:36 > 0:05:43Oh, it's hardly an orchestra. Two violins and Charles on his mum's old cello. You all right, Charles?
0:05:43 > 0:05:48- I've been better.- Harper's West One is getting 10 million viewers.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53They're all going to hear Geoff's song, it's our first good chance for a hit, so it can't be shoddy.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54Have you...?
0:05:54 > 0:05:55VIOLINIST: (I think we should leave.)
0:05:55 > 0:05:57- Have you read the West One script yet?- No.
0:05:57 > 0:06:03- Well, John plays a pop singer called Johnny Sincere. Isn't that a great name?- Top drawer!
0:06:03 > 0:06:10- And he opens a record department with your song.- Who'd have thought, Biggles?- He's Ginger.- Sorry?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Johnny Leyton in Biggles. Plays Ginger. Boy's a big fan.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15BANGING AND SHOUTING
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Geoff, come here. Excuse me, Charles, ladies.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Take the speaker, point it out that window towards the backyard.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31All the other windows are soundproofed. And I'll need that.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Drop dead, you silly, old fucker!
0:06:33 > 0:06:37- Oh, God!- All right, you can close the window and put the speaker back, now. There's a love.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39Is he coming down? >
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- Can you talk to her? I'm far too busy right now. - Yes, it's best you crack on.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Well done, Geoff, I hope we'll be seeing a lot more of you.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- LANDLADY SHOUTS: - Joe!
0:06:48 > 0:06:52He gave you that speech about not slouching, didn't he?
0:06:52 > 0:06:56I'm sorry about Anton Hollywood, Geoff. You could have been Reading's own Liberace.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58That would have been nice(!)
0:06:58 > 0:07:01But the real Liberace don't make those little piggy, grunty noises when he plays, does he?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Really, it's fine.
0:07:03 > 0:07:08They're awkward to record around, ugly to watch. Shame. You're a wonderful musician.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- Lovely looking boy. - Well, I'm sure this one will sound wonderful. I wanted to thank you.
0:07:12 > 0:07:17- No need to thank me, Geoff. It's a good tune.- You did such a wonderful job with Lonnie Donegan.
0:07:17 > 0:07:18SKIFFLE MUSIC
0:07:18 > 0:07:20# He's putting on the agony
0:07:20 > 0:07:22# Putting on the style
0:07:22 > 0:07:28# That's what all the young folks are doing all the while. #
0:07:28 > 0:07:29MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Well, the royalties from those tunes helped set this place up.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- Let's hope you get some royalties from your little tune. - Well, that would be nice.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37CAR HORNS
0:07:37 > 0:07:41I know it's a little impractical, with the stairs and the traffic, but...
0:07:41 > 0:07:43It's got a very strong...energy.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Yes! I was going to say that.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48TRAFFIC NOISE
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Keep your hair on!- How would you like a smack in the mouth?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52THUNDER
0:07:55 > 0:08:00Can I ask? I don't mean to be rude. Something unusual I heard about you.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Go on, I won't bite.
0:08:02 > 0:08:07About you and Buddy Holly. About his death. Your prediction.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Yeah. Well, it came to me. A message.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- A warning for Buddy. - Tragedy. Great loss.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16I give him a note backstage. I warned him. I told him the date.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20If only he'd listened.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Do you still try to...communicate? - When I have time.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24LOUD VOICES
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- Perhaps you'd like to join me? - I'd love to.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Here comes the cavalry.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33- You selfish, skinny runt.- Those bastard stairs. I've done me sodding back.- You can shut your cakehole.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35I've got to bring the rest of the kit up, yet.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- It's not the kit, it's having to lug that fat arse.- Watch your mouth!
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- Watch your diet!- You want to fuck right off!- Ladies and gentlemen, Flanagan and Allen.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Oi, Joe, it's pissing down out there.- Really?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Has anybody got a towel? I'm drenched.- I'm going to have a crap.
0:08:48 > 0:08:52- I'll bring a towel back down with me.- No, you won't. I have a girl singing backing up there.
0:08:52 > 0:08:57- It's vital for her singing that she's able to breathe in. - Who's got the arse now?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59FARTING
0:08:59 > 0:09:00Nearly shat meself!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03You do that again, I'll find something to plug the hole with!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05This is the band.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07What they lack in looks, they make up for in charm.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I've warned you about those ridiculous costumes!
0:09:10 > 0:09:16Now...! Oh, good God, what is that! It's like a rotting trout! Come here, take those off right now!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18SINGER WARMING UP
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Good Lord!
0:09:20 > 0:09:25- And you are?- Singing.- Of course. - Sorry about that.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30- Last time I got pissed on in this getup, my nipples and armpits went all black.- You are a soapy bastard.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- Joe, I thought we discussed this? - Oh, shush!
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Took a week to get the stains off. Carbolic, I had to use.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Why don't you use an umbrella?
0:09:37 > 0:09:41- Cos cowboys didn't have umbrellas. - No, and I bet they didn't have black armpits, either.
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- Take off those ridiculous cowboy suits!- They look wonderful.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- I will not pay another fine for their antics!- Marvellous publicity.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- Getting your collar felt isn't marvellous.- No-one felt your collar.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52No, they get all black fingers.
0:09:52 > 0:09:57I don't see how a brush with the law can be bad press for a band called The Outlaws. Can it, Geoff?
0:09:57 > 0:10:00I don't know what anyone's talking about, or who anyone is.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Oh, really, Joe! Geoffrey, Billy Kuy, Mr Clem Cattini.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05- And the smelly bastard's Chas Hodges.- The Outlaws!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08- This is Geoff, he wrote the song. - Hope you like it.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Oh, it's your song? Lovely! - Thank you.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13So you're not really cowboys?
0:10:13 > 0:10:17- No.- You want to watch him, he'll have you on top of a 19 bus with your pants round your ankles
0:10:17 > 0:10:19if he thinks it'll shift a few records.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- Would he? - Is that entirely necessary?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Last month, when we released Swing Low as a single?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Joe had us in all the clobber, on a fucking stagecoach,
0:10:25 > 0:10:28driving around Piccadilly, blasting out the tune.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Then he turns around, and says, "I know, why don't we stick up the HMV and nick our own record!"
0:10:32 > 0:10:34We burst in, these two cowards fuck off!
0:10:34 > 0:10:38I'm left there, with a cap gun up the counter girl's hooter like The Lone Wanker.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Marvellous press!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- Yet, but guess what? - Never even heard of us.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I had to play the racket to the desk sergeant to keep you out of prison!
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Now, all of you change out of these outfits immediately!
0:10:59 > 0:11:02< Coo-ey! Joe?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Joe, look! Oh, hello, boys!
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Afternoon, Mrs Jensen, all right?
0:11:05 > 0:11:09- Lovely shirts. Don't you look smart? - Thanks.- You're all wet. Should have used a brolly.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11ALL: Cowboys didn't have brollies.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Now, look. I know you're busy, but I've got a bone to pick with you, and you.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15What have you done to my windows?
0:11:17 > 0:11:21My stock room ceiling's all black and treacly, and Mr Brolin's downstairs in his pyjamas.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23- He says you swore at him. - He started it!
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- Pardon?- He yelled at me, and I yelled back.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28I can't repeat in front of these young boys the type of filthy language he was using.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30That's what a recording studio is for, is it?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Give you two the chance to play silly buggers and scare my neighbours?
0:11:33 > 0:11:35He's ever so upset, he works shifts!
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Yeah, don't we all! Shut up!
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- If he can't take it, he shouldn't dish it out.- Yeah, well, what about my ceiling?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42That's why your ceiling is all black and treacly,
0:11:42 > 0:11:45cos I poured a tin of liquid rubber through the floorboards. For soundproofing.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Soundproofing, you see! It's for the greater good.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Gave me ever such a stir. It's all gone runny, and there's flies sticking to it.
0:11:51 > 0:11:55Don't fret, Violet, dear. We'll have someone pop round and rub that rubber off.
0:11:55 > 0:11:56But it will have to be later on.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00I do have a major television star, John Leyton, coming round any second now.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02As you can see, I'm rushed off my feet.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Him off Biggles? Now I understand. Yes, sorry. I thought you were a bit soft.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Oh, I'd love to meet him!
0:12:07 > 0:12:09You'll have all the big stars passing through here, Violet.
0:12:09 > 0:12:14Why don't you pop downstairs, make a nice pot of tea and the Major can introduce you when he gets here?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- I'll tell him you're sorry.- Who? - Mr Brolin, your neighbour.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20- Tell him to shove his bin lids... - Yes, splendid. A pot of tea. After you, Violet.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26All right, Fred. Pick us up at about three.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Are you sure, sir? No offence, sir.
0:12:29 > 0:12:34- It seems like a right shithole. - Yeah, let's make it 1:30.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36- How are we doing, boys? - Nearly there.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40Right, I want to set up the mics downstairs, I want to be ready to go when I get back.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42He's fucking barmy!
0:12:42 > 0:12:44- You playing that old Joanna? - Yes. Is it in tune?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Doubt it.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47What's in here?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Don't go in there. He'll go doolally.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52- Why?- Because he's bonkers.
0:12:52 > 0:12:56Because it's full of our Joe's secret, magic echo doodahs.
0:12:56 > 0:12:57He's a loon.
0:12:57 > 0:13:04No, no, he's not mad. He's one of your eccentrics, with his gadgets and witchcraft. He's harmless enough.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07- Load of bollocks.- Yes, but he did predict the date. February 3rd.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10The day of Buddy Holly's tragic accident. And warned him.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Yeah, he's a proper Nostra-fucking-damus.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Right date, wrong year.- Fucking loon. Load of bollocks.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19Well, it is easy to mock.
0:13:19 > 0:13:22There are many things we do not understand. Not on this plane.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27My involvement in spiritualism is quite serious.
0:13:27 > 0:13:32I've been attending a weekly psychic circle for some months, now, in the hope of becoming a medium.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35In fact, the song we are recording today,
0:13:35 > 0:13:38came to me from the other side.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45From beyond.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Fucking hell.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Here. You're studying to be a medium, Clem's studying to be a large.
0:13:52 > 0:13:57Right, are we in tune and ready? John is downstairs, being talked at by Mrs Shenton.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00- People forget that you're an actor, a trained actor, you know.- Yes.
0:14:00 > 0:14:04I was in drama school for three years. I can play all sorts of, you know...
0:14:04 > 0:14:06- I was playing a Cockney... - Really?- Yeah, I can...
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Right. I want to do a sound check. A bit of noise from everyone for level.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11INSTRUMENTS ALL PLAY AT ONCE
0:14:11 > 0:14:15Good. Just hit a bit harder. That's good.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21- SHOUTING: - All right, all right, all right!
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Right, I want that moved over there, and no-one touch the mics.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Right, you heard the man, Biggles is arriving 0500 hours!
0:14:27 > 0:14:29ALL SHOUT IN POSH VOICES
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Get that out your systems for a start, cos I'm having none of it.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34- Roger, Roger Wing Commander! - I fucking mean it!
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Tone deaf actors,
0:14:40 > 0:14:42midgets, bodybuilders.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46It's a fucking pantomime. What next? Singing fucking postman?
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Will you shut your moaning, you wet bastard.
0:14:48 > 0:14:52- You're being paid, ain't you? - Hi, guys. John Leyton.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- You must be the band. - Sharp as a pin.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Hello, John. Lovely jacket.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58Thanks, Joe, glad you like it.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00I've been wearing this thing so much lately,
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I just don't feel dressed without it.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05- Yeah, where did you leave your goggles?- Right. Very funny.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08- This is Geoff. He wrote the song. - Rocking tune, Geoff.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Where did you park your plane?
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Same place you parked your horsey, partner.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13Ha-ha!
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Thanks.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Me and the boys have been rehearsing all afternoon.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19- Oh, the backing singer. You all right?- Fine, thank you.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22So, what I'd like to do is I'd like to go straight for the levels.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23John, you're over here.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- Yeah, cool. Oh, Joe.- Yeah?
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Not my business, but those instruments I passed downstairs,
0:15:35 > 0:15:37the cello and the violins,
0:15:37 > 0:15:40I don't think you're going to be able to hear them up here.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44- There's microphones down there, John. That's what they do.- Really?
0:15:44 > 0:15:45- Great.- Thank you.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51- One, two.- Charles, I want to go straight for the level.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55- OK!- Count them in. We'll see what it sounds like.- OK.
0:16:03 > 0:16:08# Oh, oh
0:16:08 > 0:16:11# Oh
0:16:13 > 0:16:17# When the mist's a-rising And the rain is falling
0:16:17 > 0:16:21# And the wind is blowing cold across the moor
0:16:23 > 0:16:26# I hear the voice...
0:16:26 > 0:16:28# I hear the voice of my darlin'...
0:16:28 > 0:16:30- (ECHO)- Ready?
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Will Johnny Remember Me be a hit?
0:16:35 > 0:16:36O.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41N.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44E. Number one.
0:16:48 > 0:16:53# Johnny, remember me
0:16:53 > 0:17:00# Yes, I'll always remember
0:17:00 > 0:17:03# Till the day I die
0:17:03 > 0:17:07# I'll hear her cry
0:17:07 > 0:17:13# Johnny, remember me
0:17:15 > 0:17:18# Ah-ah
0:17:18 > 0:17:21# Ah-ah-ah
0:17:21 > 0:17:25# Ah ah ah-ah
0:17:25 > 0:17:28# Ah ah-ah
0:17:32 > 0:17:34# Well, some day, I guess
0:17:34 > 0:17:38# I'll find myself another little girl
0:17:38 > 0:17:41# To take the place of my true love
0:17:41 > 0:17:45# But as long as I live I know
0:17:45 > 0:17:48# I'll hear her singing in the sighing of the wind
0:17:48 > 0:17:55# Blowin' in the tree tops way above me
0:17:55 > 0:18:01# Johnny, remember me... #
0:18:10 > 0:18:13You come back here again, I'll cut your bollocks off!
0:18:13 > 0:18:15And don't forget your amp!
0:18:17 > 0:18:19You avaricious pig!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21All I did was ask for my money. He's fucking mad.
0:18:21 > 0:18:23You're fucking mad!
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Move, move.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Sorry about that.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35Now, where were we?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Well, I was thinking something like this.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Piano's sounding a bit odd, a bit strange.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48I put some drawing pins in on the hammers. It adds a bit of sparkle.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Hm. Sparkle? Yes. Wonderfully clever.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55See, what I want
0:18:55 > 0:18:59is a...a sort of Tornados' theme tune
0:18:59 > 0:19:03so they can have their own solo slot before Billy Fury comes on.
0:19:03 > 0:19:06So, like the...
0:19:06 > 0:19:10The Shadows have Apache before Cliff.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Does it have to sound Red Indian?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14PLAYS A FEW NOTES
0:19:14 > 0:19:17No, not really.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Have a go on that.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21It's a...
0:19:21 > 0:19:23clavioline.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25It only plays one note at a time
0:19:25 > 0:19:27but it might be good for the main theme.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Ooh, I like it.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33Sounds odd. Aloof.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36I like that word, "aloof."
0:19:36 > 0:19:41PHONE RINGS
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Don't worry, it will come to us.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50Hello, RGM. Oh yeah, it's me, put him on.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Joe? Larry. Joe.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56I know how much you would love to record Billy Fury
0:19:56 > 0:19:57and we've considered your offer
0:19:57 > 0:20:01but, unfortunately, we won't be recording with you.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03- Why's that? - Nothing personal, trust me.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Listen, your boys, The Tornados, they're doing a great job
0:20:06 > 0:20:09backing Billy on the tour. They are ace.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11It's just that we have our own recording arrangements.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- Not good enough for him?- Joe, Joe.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Please, let's keep this professional.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19We have had a number one.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21(MOCKINGLY) Yes, Joe. You did.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22And I look after a dozen boys,
0:20:22 > 0:20:24any one of which can do what your boy does.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Oh, really? Well, good luck to them.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31Upstairs. It's on the latch.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33Listen, Joe. Let me tell you something.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38You may manage the tour, you may manage The Tornados, but you do not
0:20:38 > 0:20:43manage Billy Fury and I don't see Billy Fury recording in your toilet.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50God...
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Can I help you?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- Who are you?- I'm Heinz.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18I met Cliff Bennett backstage at the Palace Ballroom in Southampton,
0:21:18 > 0:21:22said I should come and see you, like, you know, and audition.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Said he'd have a word, like, you know,
0:21:24 > 0:21:26said he'd put in a word for me.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Said if I used his name, it'd be all right, I could just turn up.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35You know, no appointment.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Did he? That's nice of him.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Yeah?
0:21:41 > 0:21:44So, where did you say you were from?
0:21:45 > 0:21:46Near Southampton.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49- And what is it that you do? - Bacon slicer.- Really? How useful.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Oh, sorry. You meant... Yeah.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57I sing. And I play a bit of bass.
0:21:57 > 0:21:58Tell you what.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02Why don't you pop to the shops and get me a jar of coffee.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06- Instant all right?- Joe, I really think I found a nice little melody.
0:22:06 > 0:22:11- Here's ten bob. Get me a couple of packs of Preludin.- Right.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13- What's that?- Preludin, you get it in the chemists.
0:22:13 > 0:22:14It's slimming tablets.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16You're on a diet?
0:22:16 > 0:22:20No. I'm just going to be very busy, that's all.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Pop back in an hour, I'll see if I can fit you in.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Right, ta. Great.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Hour.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28- Lady cream.- Preludin!- Yeah.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35He's eager, isn't he?
0:22:35 > 0:22:39- Can't say I noticed. - Right, back to work.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06'From a ground station...'
0:23:06 > 0:23:10- Did you put sugar in it?- Um...yeah.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13'An historic feat that could reshape man's future.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16'That satellite, of course, is the Telstar,
0:23:16 > 0:23:20'170 pounds of complex electronic equipment that receives signals
0:23:20 > 0:23:23'beamed from Earth, magnifies them ten billion times
0:23:23 > 0:23:25'and rebroadcasts them...'
0:23:25 > 0:23:28'..Telstar, if you were with us earlier this evening,
0:23:28 > 0:23:29'you'll know what this is.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32'It is the near miracle satellite now in orbit in space,
0:23:32 > 0:23:36'which we hope in just one hour from now on this very programme
0:23:36 > 0:23:38'is going to transmit to us
0:23:38 > 0:23:40'the first ever live public television pictures
0:23:40 > 0:23:42'from the United States...
0:23:42 > 0:23:44'I can see from where I'm sitting,
0:23:44 > 0:23:46'let's go over live to Goonhilly in Cornwall.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50'Thank you, Richard. There is an unmistakable image. That is a man's face.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53'That's the first live television picture across the Atlantic...'
0:23:53 > 0:23:56'What does the future hold? Scientists visualise
0:23:56 > 0:23:58'a belt of Telstars encircling the globe
0:23:58 > 0:24:02'in such a manner that transmissions will be continuous around the world.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09- ECHOING: - 'Photographic communication... miracle... Telstar...'
0:24:13 > 0:24:21HE HUMS TO HIMSELF
0:24:29 > 0:24:32ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC
0:24:38 > 0:24:42HE SINGS A TUNE BADLY
0:24:47 > 0:24:55HE SINGS A TUNE BADLY WITH ECHO SOUND EFFECT
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I can't possibly play guitar to this.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13I've never heard the like.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Well, he can't play any instruments, so he has to hum those fucking tapes.
0:25:17 > 0:25:22Clem, I don't want it on the ride. I want it on the hi-hat.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25I'm on the hi-hat!
0:25:25 > 0:25:29- Then play it closed. - I played it closed!
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Then play it better!
0:25:33 > 0:25:37- Oh, OK, then(!)- Right, well, then fucking get on with it, then.
0:25:37 > 0:25:38You.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40# Twang, twang, twang
0:25:40 > 0:25:42# Twang, twang-twang twang, twang... #
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Pardon?
0:25:44 > 0:25:45# ..Twang, twang-twang... #
0:25:45 > 0:25:50Look, we've got to be at Great Yarmouth by six. By rights, we should be off inside an hour.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52# Twang-twang-twang... #
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Right, that's it, that's it, you play that.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57You play what you always fucking play.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Dum, dum, dum. Tighter, tighter.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Right, that's not bad. Stop, stop!
0:26:06 > 0:26:08I want eight bars of that. Twice.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15- We never had this trouble with Johnny Kidd.- I'll bet.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- Never recorded over a handbag shop. - Yeah, it's unusual, isn't it?
0:26:18 > 0:26:21Always used to have to wear a suit to the studio.
0:26:21 > 0:26:22Riveting.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25GET ON WITH IT!
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Sorry, mate. No cue lights.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37CRACKLING We present...Navy Lark...
0:26:39 > 0:26:40BANGING
0:26:46 > 0:26:48What are you doing?
0:26:48 > 0:26:51- Drumming. - Bum titty bum titty bum titty bum!
0:26:51 > 0:26:54- BANGING - Look, no hands!
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Joe, can I have a word?
0:26:58 > 0:26:59I'm recording!
0:27:00 > 0:27:01You'd better look at me!
0:27:01 > 0:27:06- Carry on, then.- JOE!!! - Oh, fucking come on...
0:27:06 > 0:27:08JOE!!!
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Keep practising. I'll be back in a minute.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Joe, we ain't got the time. I don't want to piss Larry off.
0:27:12 > 0:27:18Well, fuck Larry Parnes! And fuck Billy Fury! This is my tour.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21You are my band. And you will stay sat there till I say.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35He only started the Tornados so he could try and lure Billy Fury into his khazi.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38Never had any of this with the Pirates.
0:27:45 > 0:27:50You should always have more than one string to your bow, Patrick. Duck?
0:27:51 > 0:27:52Keep it.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56- Thank you, sir.- These ducks are cheap. Not like these tapes.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58What does he want more for?
0:27:58 > 0:28:01Don't know, sir. Recording?
0:28:08 > 0:28:13- Hello, boys. How's the noise? - All right?- Hello, matey.
0:28:13 > 0:28:19- Are we off, then?- Allegedly. - What?- About an hour.- We hope.
0:28:19 > 0:28:24Well, what do you think of the whistle, then?
0:28:24 > 0:28:27- Very smart. - He just left it in my room.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30- I don't know about that tie, though.- What about it?
0:28:30 > 0:28:33- I don't know, it's a bit, you know. Isn't it, Alan? - What?- The tie.- Oh, yeah.
0:28:33 > 0:28:36- What's wrong with it? - Nothing, it's fine, it's fine.
0:28:36 > 0:28:41No, you're right. It's a bit... I'll just go upstairs and change it.
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Suit yourself.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48Handy living upstairs.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Yeah.
0:28:50 > 0:28:52Too fucking handy.
0:28:52 > 0:28:55Soppy as a box of frogs. I wouldn't mind if he could play.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58He plays bass like he's wearing boxing gloves.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00It's when the valve shorts out. It picks up the guitar amp.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03Sorry to bother you. I was listening to the Navy Lark.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06It all went funny and fuzzy like that.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09And then a high-pitched wheeeee sound, I couldn't believe my ears.
0:29:09 > 0:29:12And then it all went quiet, and then suddenly all hell let loose.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14I thought, that's not Jon Pertwee.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Right, well, I will have it sounding clear as a bell.
0:29:17 > 0:29:22- Afternoon, Joe.- Oh, look, Father bloody Christmas!
0:29:22 > 0:29:26- Ponce.- Who?- Change me tie? I haven't been home since Wednesday.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28Can't remember the last time I changed my pants.
0:29:28 > 0:29:33Blood out of a stone! Patrick, put them in the office and put the kettle on.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Those tapes aren't to be trifled with. They're expensive.
0:29:36 > 0:29:37I'm not to be trifled with!
0:29:37 > 0:29:41Begging for tapes is not what number one record producers do.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44It'll take a while for the revenue from your hits to actually appear.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47What am I supposed to do in the meantime, play conkers?
0:29:47 > 0:29:51No, but come along, Joe. I want to expand, but one step at a time.
0:29:51 > 0:29:54You've got Patrick now as a full-time office assistant.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56Oh, well, whoop-de-fucking-do, Mr Rockefeller(!)
0:29:56 > 0:30:01Joe, Joe there's a... Sorry, Major, sir. There's a phone call for you.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05- It's Brian Epstein.- Shit. - About the demos.- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08He's got this Merseybeat combo. They're rubbish.
0:30:08 > 0:30:12Right, you bastards, I'll be back in five minutes. Keep practising.
0:30:12 > 0:30:13You, don't go in there.
0:30:17 > 0:30:19Major, can I have a word?
0:30:21 > 0:30:23Sir, we've got to be in Great Yarmouth by six.
0:30:23 > 0:30:27- If we don't head off now, we're buggered.- That's up to Joe.
0:30:27 > 0:30:30- I haven't seen daylight for two days.- Well, believe me, it hasn't changed much.
0:30:30 > 0:30:32He's got this track that don't make sense.
0:30:32 > 0:30:36He'll have us banging on until we miss the Billy Fury gig. It's not rational.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38He has been terribly moody.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- And after what happened to Billy... - Greedy little bastard.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45No-one gets royalties. You're all on session fees. Seven pounds, six shillings.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49Does that include being attacked with scissors and thrown down the stairs?
0:30:49 > 0:30:52- I would have chucked him out a window.- He could have killed him. How do you think Alan feels?
0:30:52 > 0:30:55- He's Billy's replacement. What will happen to him?- Oh, cheers!
0:30:55 > 0:30:58Or any of us. Well, except blond rinse upstairs.
0:30:58 > 0:31:02Which is another thing. He's treated like Presley and fucking clueless.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04- He don't know a flat from a house. - Are you quite finished?
0:31:06 > 0:31:07Yeah.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13Then let me remind you that Joe is your recording manager.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16And as such, he will decide when he records and with whom.
0:31:16 > 0:31:21And I should think that you could afford yourself a little faith in his judgement.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23This whole Merseybeat thing, it's a fad.
0:31:23 > 0:31:28But good luck with the demo, and please, send my love to the boys.
0:31:28 > 0:31:31Bye now.
0:31:31 > 0:31:35Leyton has buggered off to Hollywood, and Joe is still searching for the next hit.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37Not just for himself, but for all of us.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40So when you're down at the pub or playing darts or whatever it is
0:31:40 > 0:31:43you boys do, Joe is working.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Constantly working. The boy's a genius.
0:31:47 > 0:31:52So if your feelings are hurt, it is of very little consequence to me.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Do I make myself clear?
0:31:55 > 0:31:56Yes.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59Good. Carry on, then.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02Patrick, if that northern idiot calls back, tell him I'm busy.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04- Anything to report?- Poor Brian.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07He's a lovely man, but he don't have a clue what the kids want.
0:32:08 > 0:32:09PATRICK!!
0:32:10 > 0:32:13Well, I'll be leaving, then. Just thought I'd pop round.
0:32:13 > 0:32:16- And spy.- I just wanted to see where all those tapes were going.
0:32:16 > 0:32:17Well, surprise, I'm recording with them.
0:32:17 > 0:32:22- Of course you are. Goodbye.- Joe?- Call Geoff. I need him here.- Yes, chief.
0:32:22 > 0:32:27- Have you got any of me sweeties? I'm going to finish this track if it kills me.- You should get some sleep.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31- Dexies?- Take the money out of petty cash.- I did.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34- You said that yesterday. - Oh, you are good.
0:32:34 > 0:32:38- It's nice to have someone I can trust.- Coffee?- Oh, lovely.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43Right, let's hear it.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46- Hear what?- Oh, don't start. Bum, titty, bum, twang, twang, twang.
0:32:48 > 0:32:52Good. Right, keep playing till I say stop.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03SHOUTING Right, that's it. Stop. Alan, stop.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05- Are you sure?- Yeah.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08DISTORTED REVERBERATION
0:33:10 > 0:33:12- Why have you stopped?- What the fuck was that silly noise?
0:33:12 > 0:33:15- Oh, that's just for the intro. - It's bollocks.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18- Why don't you play it? - I'm going to Yarmouth.- What?
0:33:18 > 0:33:21You've still got the piano or whatever the fuck part it is to put down yet.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24- For your information, Geoff is on his way to play the keyboard.- Geoff?
0:33:24 > 0:33:26That daft prat?
0:33:26 > 0:33:28How dare you!
0:33:28 > 0:33:31All that song from beyond the grave bollocks. It's embarrassing.
0:33:31 > 0:33:32Yeah, but it happens to be true.
0:33:32 > 0:33:33I'll tell you what is true,
0:33:33 > 0:33:36I'm calling this recording session to an end.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38Sorry, Joe. I'm not letting everyone cop it because
0:33:38 > 0:33:41you've got some silly bollocks idea that sounds like a lump of dog shit.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43- Oi, gormless, we're going! - What? Oh, yeah.
0:33:43 > 0:33:46You ungrateful bastard!
0:33:46 > 0:33:48Right, go on then, fuck off, you fat bitch!
0:33:48 > 0:33:51- And you, you communist cunt! - Sorry, strictly speaking,..
0:33:51 > 0:33:54- Fuck off!- ..I'm not really a member of...- Fuck off! Fuck off!
0:33:54 > 0:33:55Fuck off! Fuck off!
0:33:57 > 0:34:02- Oh, you've got your new suit? - Yeah, do you like it?- It's lovely.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04Yeah, pucker, innit?
0:34:04 > 0:34:07- Ta.- I like that tie. That's a nice touch.- Yeah?
0:34:07 > 0:34:10You must bring an umbrella, it might rain, you must watch your hair.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12All right, Mum!
0:34:12 > 0:34:15No, you're right, I don't want to get my hair fluffy.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18Yeah, all right, then. See you.
0:34:18 > 0:34:19Bye.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Bye, guy. Gotta fly.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25Don't he look stunning?
0:34:25 > 0:34:26Very smart.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28- Geoff is on his way.- Good.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55SPACE SOUND EFFECTS
0:34:57 > 0:35:00Joe, there's a storm brewing.
0:35:02 > 0:35:04A good omen.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07SOUND EFFECTS CONTINUE
0:35:09 > 0:35:11It's going to rain.
0:35:11 > 0:35:13Joe?
0:35:16 > 0:35:17Joe?
0:35:21 > 0:35:23Joe?
0:35:23 > 0:35:26- Geoff, it came to me in a dream. - What?
0:35:26 > 0:35:29The solo slot before Billy Fury comes on.
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Those ungrateful Tornado bastards. They just don't understand.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35I do. Joe, it's raining, there's a storm.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37- Just like when I recorded Johnny. - Good omen.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39So, what's the track called?
0:35:39 > 0:35:43- The Theme Of Telstar. - Ooh. What is it? Telstar?
0:35:43 > 0:35:46- I've heard of that.- It's a satellite. The miracle of science.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49It picks up invisible rays from the other side of the world,
0:35:49 > 0:35:51then it beams them back to Earth.
0:35:51 > 0:35:56- Like the ether.- Yes, like the ether. But...it's science.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58PLAYS A SINGLE NOTE ON THE CLAVIOLINE
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Right, so. We lift off.
0:36:00 > 0:36:03# Do, do, do
0:36:03 > 0:36:05# Do, do, do, do, do, do. #
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Then we go up to space.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10# Do, do, do, do, do, do, do
0:36:10 > 0:36:11# Do... # No.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13# ..Do, do, doooo... #
0:36:13 > 0:36:17That's it. Then we hover. # ..Do, do, do, do do... #
0:36:17 > 0:36:20Then we look down at Earth at all the humans.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22# ..Do, do, do, do, do
0:36:22 > 0:36:24# Do, do, do, do, do... #
0:36:24 > 0:36:26That's what looking at humans would sound like.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29I like that. Play it again.
0:36:29 > 0:36:32GEOFF PLAYS THE CLAVIOLINE
0:36:32 > 0:36:35And... # Do, do, do, do, do do, do, do, do
0:36:35 > 0:36:38- # Do, do, do - Do, do, do, do, do
0:36:38 > 0:36:42# Do, do, do, do, do... # Very bold, Joe.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45- That's it. Do you want to hear the demo?- No.
0:36:46 > 0:36:50MUSIC: "Telstar"
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Ladies and gentlemen, The Tornados!
0:37:08 > 0:37:10APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:37:10 > 0:37:12MUSIC: Telstar by The Tornados
0:37:18 > 0:37:20'Leaping up to the top spot,
0:37:20 > 0:37:23'it's Billy Fury's backing band. In at number one with Telstar...'
0:37:23 > 0:37:25I've got the biggest picture for a reason.
0:37:25 > 0:37:28Yeah. It's cos I front the band. Right?
0:37:28 > 0:37:31That means that all the responsibility is on me.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34I understand that part of today's press conference
0:37:34 > 0:37:37is being relayed by the Telstar communications satellite.
0:37:37 > 0:37:40I suppose you'll be moving out now. Onwards and upwards.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42God only knows how I'm going to let that place again.
0:37:42 > 0:37:44Well, I don't think I'll be going anywhere just yet.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Truth is I've made a little home here.
0:37:46 > 0:37:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:54 > 0:37:57Your very own gold disc, Joe. Congratulations.
0:37:57 > 0:37:58I got me the best band in the world.
0:37:58 > 0:38:02It gives me great pleasure in presenting this unprecedented
0:38:02 > 0:38:08second gold disc to songwriter and producer Mr Joe Meek.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10Two million copies!
0:38:10 > 0:38:14And the winner of the 1963 Ivor Novello Award is of course
0:38:14 > 0:38:19the writer and producer of Telstar, Mr Joe Meek.
0:38:19 > 0:38:21APPLAUSE
0:38:21 > 0:38:25I'd like to say a very special thank you to a very special person.
0:38:25 > 0:38:30Some of you may know her as Biddy but I doubt it. I know her as Mum.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32- APPLAUSE - Thank you, Mum.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Merry Christmas, guys and gals.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39That was the Billboard Chart this Christmas.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41And here is the nation's holiday number one,
0:38:41 > 0:38:45topping the US charts for the first time ever, it's a British band.
0:38:50 > 0:38:53Telegram for you, Mr Meek.
0:38:53 > 0:38:55I hope it's good news, sir.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Thank you, sir.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05..from our record-breaking number one, Telstar.
0:39:05 > 0:39:10And here to join me now, the one and only Mr Billy Fury.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12SCREAMING AND CHEERING
0:39:12 > 0:39:13Well done, son.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19MUSIC STARTS
0:39:20 > 0:39:22# Play it cool, baby
0:39:22 > 0:39:24# Play it cool... #
0:39:26 > 0:39:28Here we come!
0:39:28 > 0:39:29CHEERING AND WHOOPING
0:39:29 > 0:39:31Yay-hey!
0:39:33 > 0:39:34Hey-hey! Hey-hey!
0:39:34 > 0:39:36All right, my boy!
0:39:36 > 0:39:38Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
0:39:38 > 0:39:40Telstar!
0:39:43 > 0:39:45Yes! Oh, yes!
0:39:46 > 0:39:48BOTH: Don't mind if I do!
0:39:48 > 0:39:50THEY LAUGH
0:39:55 > 0:39:58You know, when I was a little boy back in Gloucester,
0:39:58 > 0:40:00I had a terrible accident with some phosphorous.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03Some had been left by the local Home Guard.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06And I discovered that if you put some on your hands and clap,
0:40:06 > 0:40:09there'd be a little puff of smoke.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13Of course, I thought I'd discovered something wonderful.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15So, I put a small lump in my palm and I clapped ever so hard.
0:40:15 > 0:40:18And there was this tremendous explosion
0:40:18 > 0:40:20which knocked me off my little feet.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25When I got back up, I discovered that my hands were terribly burnt.
0:40:27 > 0:40:30Phosphorus was still burning.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32It kept burning all the way home.
0:40:34 > 0:40:40Until my dad, who was a veteran of the First World War,
0:40:40 > 0:40:44put both my hands in a bowl of milk.
0:40:47 > 0:40:50By then, my hands had been terribly burnt
0:40:50 > 0:40:54so I was rushed to the hospital and the doctors told me
0:40:54 > 0:40:57that I would never be able to move my hands again.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Well, there's nothing wrong with your hands.
0:41:02 > 0:41:06That's because there was one doctor. A very special man.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Yeah?
0:41:08 > 0:41:12- They're very clever, those doctors.- Ah, they work miracles.
0:41:14 > 0:41:18But this one doctor, this one special man...
0:41:20 > 0:41:24..he saw there was a spark in this little boy.
0:41:26 > 0:41:29He made the commitment to me because of that spark.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33And I was committed to him.
0:41:45 > 0:41:47These aren't the hands of a bass player.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58- Right, who are you?- John Hale. New Musical Express.- Good.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00Well, I'm very busy. I can't be long.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03What do you say to people who accuse Telstar of being banal?
0:42:03 > 0:42:06- It sold three million. - What other artists do you supervise?
0:42:06 > 0:42:08Well, I look after Screaming Lord Sutch.
0:42:08 > 0:42:11He is touring the country at the moment. He's very, very colourful.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Very popular.
0:42:13 > 0:42:14# Ah-ha, ha, ha!
0:42:14 > 0:42:15# Ah-ha, ha, ha!
0:42:15 > 0:42:18# Eh-eh, eh, ooh!
0:42:18 > 0:42:19# Eh-eh, eh, ooh!
0:42:19 > 0:42:21SCREAMING
0:42:21 > 0:42:26And there's Cliff Bennett, Mike Berry, and the newest one is Heinz.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29He's just cut his first solo disc since he left The Tornados.
0:42:30 > 0:42:33He will be the biggest star in the country within a year.
0:42:33 > 0:42:35Bigger than Cliff Richard.
0:42:35 > 0:42:39Much bigger than that drunken streak of piss, Billy fucking Fury.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41Oh! One to watch out for, then.
0:42:43 > 0:42:44Who are your favourite artists?
0:42:44 > 0:42:48I like modern jazz. Ella. And I love Judy Garland.
0:42:50 > 0:42:54- Did you get my gold disc in the back?- Yeah, mate, I'm getting them.
0:42:54 > 0:42:58- And what is your future? - I'd like to write a musical.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26Joe? I thought the house was on fire!
0:43:54 > 0:43:57SCREAMING
0:44:02 > 0:44:04- Aaargh, that's disgusting!- And cut!
0:44:04 > 0:44:06What is that you're squirting on me?
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Who's gonna pay for it to be cleaned?
0:44:08 > 0:44:10What's he filming, anyway?
0:44:10 > 0:44:13I'm making a little film to promote my artist.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16He hasn't even got any instruments. You're a bunch of idiots.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18Oh, fuck off, then!
0:44:18 > 0:44:20Get your hands off me!
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Jack The Ripper by Screaming Lord Sutch.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27Out now with RGM Records.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30That's Jack The Ripper by Screaming Lord Sutch, RGM Records.
0:44:30 > 0:44:33That's RGM Records.
0:44:33 > 0:44:36Well, the stunts just get better and better.
0:44:36 > 0:44:37Made all the local press.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Now, look, I've been reading a book on psychology
0:44:43 > 0:44:46- and people follow arrows, they just can't help it.- Yeah?
0:44:46 > 0:44:48So, what if we were to paint arrows on all the roads
0:44:48 > 0:44:52and buildings around Piccadilly Circus, all pointing towards a shop.
0:44:52 > 0:44:53A shop?
0:44:53 > 0:44:55A shop where the record will be for sale
0:44:55 > 0:44:57and Screaming Lord Sutch will be performing.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Aaaaargh!
0:44:59 > 0:45:01A gig, in a shop?
0:45:01 > 0:45:03Well, I think it's fucking ridiculous.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05MUSIC PLAYS
0:45:09 > 0:45:12- I won't do it. - Don't be so narrow-minded.
0:45:12 > 0:45:15# With his little black bag and his one track mind
0:45:18 > 0:45:22# Well, he nearly catches up when the lights go down
0:45:25 > 0:45:28# Cos that's the time he starts his dirty, uh, chop around
0:45:30 > 0:45:34# When he walks down the streets to every girl he meets, he says
0:45:34 > 0:45:37# Is your name Mary Blood?... # MUSIC FADES
0:45:49 > 0:45:56BOOS AND JEERING
0:46:03 > 0:46:11JEERING AND SHOUTING CONTINUES
0:46:13 > 0:46:15Have that!
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:46:17 > 0:46:20CHEERS AND WHISTLING
0:46:23 > 0:46:26You fucking spivvy toe-rag.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29Yeah, tosser. It's all round my suit.
0:46:29 > 0:46:33I'd like to see you afford a suit like this, yeah! You cheap arsehole!
0:46:33 > 0:46:36- Smiling now, are you? Yeah, you... - Oi, oi!
0:46:36 > 0:46:37Oi, Lightbulb!
0:46:37 > 0:46:39How many watts is that head?
0:46:39 > 0:46:41100? No, he ain't that bright!
0:46:43 > 0:46:46Put that light out! Put that light out! Ha-ha!
0:46:46 > 0:46:49Hey, I thought he was electric! Ha-ha!
0:46:52 > 0:46:53JEERING AND SHOUTING
0:46:56 > 0:46:58Just play the song, just play the song.
0:47:00 > 0:47:04MUSIC STARTS
0:47:14 > 0:47:16What do you mean "Gene"?
0:47:16 > 0:47:22Well, you know, they've come to see Gene and Jerry Lee.
0:47:22 > 0:47:26- They were hard, like, you know? - You've got to win them over.
0:47:26 > 0:47:28I can't.
0:47:28 > 0:47:31When I walk out on stage, they call me a poof.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37It's because of the hair,
0:47:37 > 0:47:38and the suits.
0:47:39 > 0:47:40Yeah, after the songs.
0:47:40 > 0:47:44Yeah, it gets worse.
0:47:44 > 0:47:46So, I'm at home in Southampton and I do what you said
0:47:46 > 0:47:48about looking at a nice girl in the crowd
0:47:48 > 0:47:51for Dreams Come True, like Gene does in Be Bop A Lula.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54Only like, it was some bloke's bird.
0:47:54 > 0:47:59And he decides to come and get me at stage door. My mum overheard.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02It was only her tip-off what saved me, like.
0:48:02 > 0:48:05She was a lot more scared than I was, of course.
0:48:06 > 0:48:08Well, she would be, poor love.
0:48:09 > 0:48:13Joe, sometimes I look at these two stars
0:48:13 > 0:48:16and I can't believe I'm playing with them.
0:48:16 > 0:48:18And other times... I wish I didn't have to.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Oh, you don't mean that!
0:48:20 > 0:48:22Joe, they don't like me.
0:48:24 > 0:48:28I mean what if...people... what if they just don't like me?
0:48:32 > 0:48:35Confidence, that's all you need!
0:48:35 > 0:48:37Come 'ere.
0:48:37 > 0:48:42You are on tour with two rock and roll greats cos you've got talent.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44I'm not wrong about that.
0:48:46 > 0:48:48Now, I was going to keep this as a surprise
0:48:48 > 0:48:51but just to help your confidence, I'm going to tell you now.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53I have got two,
0:48:53 > 0:48:57maybe three, TV slots lined up for you when your record comes out.
0:48:57 > 0:48:58- You're joking.- No.
0:48:58 > 0:49:01- I'm going to be on the telly?- Yeah.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03Bloody Nora!
0:49:03 > 0:49:04Now, I hope you've been watching those two
0:49:04 > 0:49:08and learning something cos pretty soon you're going to be in everyone's front room
0:49:08 > 0:49:11and you BETTER be ready for that, my lad.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18Now, that's Marty Wilde. See the way he does it?
0:49:20 > 0:49:23# I want you for my own... #
0:49:25 > 0:49:27THAT'S what it's got to be like.
0:49:27 > 0:49:28See the way he twitches his head?
0:49:28 > 0:49:30That's pure rock and roll.
0:49:35 > 0:49:40# There's always someone beside you
0:49:42 > 0:49:49# Yes, there's always someone in your arms
0:49:49 > 0:49:52# Little baby
0:49:53 > 0:49:56# If only I had known... #
0:49:58 > 0:50:00That was breathtaking. You carry on like that,
0:50:00 > 0:50:02forget Gene and Jerry, you'll be bigger than Presley!
0:50:02 > 0:50:05- That's silly.- And I'm working on a big hit for you,
0:50:05 > 0:50:07your very own Telstar cos you're going to be a big star.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09You're my golden boy.
0:50:14 > 0:50:18# Well, be bop a Lula she's my baby
0:50:18 > 0:50:22# Be bop a Lula I don't mean maybe
0:50:22 > 0:50:26# Be bop a Lula she's my baby doll
0:50:26 > 0:50:29# My baby doll, my baby doll
0:50:29 > 0:50:32# Well, she's the gal in the red blue jeans
0:50:32 > 0:50:34# She's the queen of all the teens... #
0:50:34 > 0:50:37I think my friend will like this one.
0:50:37 > 0:50:40It's a much stronger aura, don't you think?
0:50:40 > 0:50:44# She's the girl that loves me so
0:50:44 > 0:50:47# Be bop a Lula she's my baby
0:50:47 > 0:50:50# Be bop a Lula I don't mean maybe... #
0:50:55 > 0:51:01HEAVY BREATHING AND PANTING
0:51:18 > 0:51:21Excuse me, miss. My, what a pretty ranch you have here.
0:51:21 > 0:51:25I'm Gene Vincent. You may have heard of me on your wireless. I'm travelling with my band here
0:51:25 > 0:51:28and I wondered if we might make use of your splendid-looking water closet.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31He means khazi.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36- Mate, I've got to go first - I'm poking a hole through me trousers.- What?
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Fuck's sake.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41- Here comes Bean Boy. - He'll be in there half an hour.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44He's going to stink the place out.
0:51:44 > 0:51:45I only wanted a slash.
0:51:52 > 0:51:53Hey, boys - watch this.
0:51:55 > 0:51:59Oi, gormless - they've gone without you!
0:51:59 > 0:52:02- What?- Have that!
0:52:02 > 0:52:03Do you like, Chas?
0:52:03 > 0:52:06HEINZ GIGGLES MANICALLY
0:52:10 > 0:52:15- Do you want some coffee, Gene? - No thanks, kid.- Proper stuff.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17GIGGLES
0:52:24 > 0:52:27HE LAUGHS
0:52:28 > 0:52:31Every bloody time.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34- It's not funny. - It's quite funny.
0:52:34 > 0:52:37CHAS LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:52:38 > 0:52:41You wanker!
0:52:44 > 0:52:46Excuse me, love.
0:52:46 > 0:52:47Have you got any more eggs?
0:52:52 > 0:52:54# I'm beginning to see the light, now
0:52:54 > 0:52:57# I need you day and night, now
0:52:57 > 0:52:59# Whoa, whoa, don't let go
0:52:59 > 0:53:03# Temptation, baby
0:53:03 > 0:53:05# When I see you struttin' by
0:53:05 > 0:53:07# You're makin' me feel so good now... #
0:53:07 > 0:53:09- What d'you say, Lightbulb?- Fuck off!
0:53:09 > 0:53:11THEY LAUGH
0:53:15 > 0:53:18- You wanker!- Fuck off!
0:53:20 > 0:53:22- See you later, Lightbulb.- Bastard!
0:53:24 > 0:53:26Fucking ha fucking ha!
0:53:26 > 0:53:29Oi, you fat bastard!
0:53:29 > 0:53:31- Oh, my...- Fucking yes!
0:53:31 > 0:53:33Fucking bastards!
0:53:33 > 0:53:35Where did you learn to pitch like that?
0:53:35 > 0:53:37I was always good at cricket!
0:53:37 > 0:53:40# When I see you struttin' by... #
0:53:40 > 0:53:42HORN BLARES
0:53:42 > 0:53:45# Ho-wow, I love you so
0:53:45 > 0:53:46# Temptation baby... #
0:53:46 > 0:53:49- LOUD BANG - What's that?
0:53:49 > 0:53:52That fat nutter's throwing bricks at the bus!
0:53:52 > 0:53:53Get out of here quick!
0:53:56 > 0:53:59He's getting closer! Put your foot down!
0:53:59 > 0:54:02Oh, never mind that, here's the bizzies! Slow down!
0:54:04 > 0:54:07# Temptation baby
0:54:07 > 0:54:09# Say wo-oh-wo-oh
0:54:09 > 0:54:12# Temptation baby
0:54:12 > 0:54:13# Say wo-oh-wo-oh
0:54:13 > 0:54:19# Temptation baby. #
0:54:19 > 0:54:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:54:23 > 0:54:26There's a lad Tom downstairs. I think you'll like him,
0:54:26 > 0:54:28he has a very distinctive voice and he's very striking.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31- Don't you ever knock?- Sorry.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33- You're late.- Sorry.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35- Shall I bring him up?- Who?
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Tom, the lad from Wales I just told you about.
0:54:37 > 0:54:39- No, send him home, I'm busy. - He's come such a long way.
0:54:39 > 0:54:43He'll know the way back then, won't he? I'm running a business, Geoff, not a dating agency.
0:54:43 > 0:54:47- I didn't think it would upset you. - It hasn't upset me, I'm just busy.
0:54:47 > 0:54:49I suppose I could've brought him to the seance this evening.
0:54:49 > 0:54:51Ah, yes, the seance. Listen, Geoff,
0:54:51 > 0:54:54- I'm going to Wolverhampton tonight for Heinz's gig.- Oh.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57And Lionel's going to be driving me. But speaking of Heinz,
0:54:57 > 0:55:00how's that new big hit for him, how's it coming on?
0:55:00 > 0:55:04- I've had some ideas.- Mm.- I thought perhaps another tribute song.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08- But not Buddy Holly this time, maybe Eddie Cochran.- When can I hear it?
0:55:08 > 0:55:12I've not started it...yet.
0:55:12 > 0:55:13But I have got you something.
0:55:13 > 0:55:16Geoff, we're supposed to be working.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19- It's our anniversary.- Pardon?
0:55:19 > 0:55:22We've been writing together for 18 months.
0:55:22 > 0:55:26- It was yesterday that I realised. - Not even engraved.- No.
0:55:26 > 0:55:29I only realised yesterday. I didn't have time.
0:55:43 > 0:55:44Men.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49I hold in my hand a piece of paper.
0:55:49 > 0:55:50Unlike Mr Chamberlain's,
0:55:50 > 0:55:54this is a summons to appear in the Chippenham Magistrates Court.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56- Do we get top billing? - THEY SNICKER
0:55:56 > 0:56:01We could all do without your vulgar musical turns, Mr Hodges.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03BILLY SNICKERS
0:56:03 > 0:56:06So, dreadful clerical mistake
0:56:06 > 0:56:08or am I owed some sort of explanation?
0:56:11 > 0:56:14- It was his idea. - You dirty fucking sneak.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16The court is now in session.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19Judge Wignall presiding. All stand.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30You don't get half bored sat in the back of a van.
0:56:30 > 0:56:32Well, perhaps a book would've been less disruptive.
0:56:32 > 0:56:34- Rude, though.- Sorry?
0:56:34 > 0:56:36Sat there in a van, reading.
0:56:36 > 0:56:38It's like your ignoring your mates.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43A unique sociological observation
0:56:43 > 0:56:45but a rather feeble excuse, Mr Blackmore.
0:56:45 > 0:56:48The court will call Mr Richard Miles.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50Should we receive a hefty fine, it shall be met by your wages.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52Were I on the bench, I'd have you flogged.
0:56:52 > 0:56:55Please take the Bible in your right hand and read from the card.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57And who started this silly game?
0:56:57 > 0:56:59- Vincent.- Chas, a word?
0:56:59 > 0:57:03Gene Vincent, for God's sake, don't mention him when you get up there.
0:57:04 > 0:57:07- Lightbulb, fucking Lightbulb.- What?!
0:57:08 > 0:57:12Is it a fucking joke? You do not take the piss out of my top act.
0:57:12 > 0:57:13CHAS GROANS
0:57:13 > 0:57:16I'm really sorry. But just hear my side.
0:57:17 > 0:57:19Quickly.
0:57:19 > 0:57:24I'll make a few jokes and, no pun intended, defuse the situation.
0:57:24 > 0:57:28I'd rather risk a slap from Mr Osram there than a face full of stitches.
0:57:28 > 0:57:31- PROSECUTOR:- Were you aware of who did this to you?- All right.
0:57:31 > 0:57:33I've got a joke for you.
0:57:33 > 0:57:35What do you get if you cross Joe Meek?
0:57:38 > 0:57:39Fired.
0:57:39 > 0:57:41Yes, there.
0:57:41 > 0:57:43Fair enough. It won't happen again.
0:57:44 > 0:57:45Dear God.
0:57:45 > 0:57:47Gene Vincent was in an uninsured van,
0:57:47 > 0:57:49attacking the residents of Shrewsbury.
0:57:49 > 0:57:53It's not our job to get insurance, we're the fucking passengers!
0:57:53 > 0:57:55- Shut it!- Silence in court!
0:57:55 > 0:57:57- CHAS:- Oh, me balls.
0:57:57 > 0:58:01If you weren't so tight-fisted, I wouldn't have to penny pinch and the van would've been insured.
0:58:01 > 0:58:02Well, that of course is of no help.
0:58:02 > 0:58:05And while we're on the subject of fiduciary matters,
0:58:05 > 0:58:09I am somewhat concerned about the amount being spent on Heinz.
0:58:09 > 0:58:12- Photo shoots and posters and clothes and...- That boy!
0:58:12 > 0:58:16He's the only one of you pigs that don't want anything from me.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19MUSIC: "Just Like Eddie" by Heinz And The Saints
0:58:22 > 0:58:27# Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:58:27 > 0:58:31# Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:58:33 > 0:58:35# Whenever I'm sad Whenever I'm blue
0:58:35 > 0:58:37# Whenever my troubles are heavy
0:58:37 > 0:58:41# Beneath the stars I play my guitar
0:58:42 > 0:58:44# Just like Eddie
0:58:44 > 0:58:49# Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:58:49 > 0:58:55# Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:58:55 > 0:58:57# Whenever you're sad Whenever you're blue
0:58:57 > 0:59:00# Whenever your troubles are heavy
0:59:00 > 0:59:04# Beneath the stars You play your guitars
0:59:04 > 0:59:06# Just like Eddie
0:59:06 > 0:59:12# Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:59:12 > 0:59:17# Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
0:59:17 > 0:59:18# Come on everybody... #
0:59:38 > 0:59:40Note, sir.
0:59:42 > 0:59:44Thought it might be important.
0:59:52 > 0:59:55Patrick! Find him, it's bloody important.
0:59:56 > 0:59:58I don't care what he's doing.
1:00:00 > 1:00:01This is bollocks.
1:00:01 > 1:00:03No, this is serious.
1:00:03 > 1:00:06This French composer bloke is claiming Telstar was stolen
1:00:06 > 1:00:07from his film score.
1:00:07 > 1:00:11- I've never even heard of this French bastard, Bernard.- Thanks, Geoff.
1:00:11 > 1:00:12Mum's the word, yeah?
1:00:16 > 1:00:19I have just won the Ivor Novello Award!
1:00:21 > 1:00:24- I'm going back to bed. - I'm sorry, Joe.
1:00:24 > 1:00:27The Major says the matter's quite severe. You're being sued.
1:01:19 > 1:01:22Hurry up, keep lookout.
1:01:25 > 1:01:28OFFICER TUTS
1:01:36 > 1:01:38Why don't we step outside, eh?
1:01:48 > 1:01:51CROWD CHEERING
1:01:51 > 1:01:54- Fantastic.- That was great, they were ecstatic.
1:01:54 > 1:01:55Stay out of my light.
1:01:55 > 1:01:58I'm the star of the show, so stay out of my fucking light.
1:01:58 > 1:02:01And don't play so fast. And you, fatboy, building a shed in there?
1:02:01 > 1:02:02Sounds like it.
1:02:02 > 1:02:06- Oi!- Hey, lighten up, mate, I thought it went all right.
1:02:06 > 1:02:08If you say one word to me, on-stage or off-stage again,
1:02:08 > 1:02:10you're off the tour. Got it?
1:02:17 > 1:02:19All right, laughing boy.
1:02:19 > 1:02:21Sounded all right, how did it go?
1:02:21 > 1:02:24You two, tarts, fuck off. What's your game, then?
1:02:24 > 1:02:27Whoa, whoa, lighten up. What's the matter with you?
1:02:27 > 1:02:29- I saw you nicking my act.- Do what?
1:02:29 > 1:02:31You know what I'm talking about, standing on top of the piano.
1:02:31 > 1:02:34That's my act, get your own fucking moves!
1:02:34 > 1:02:37JESS LAUGHS You dozy prat.
1:02:37 > 1:02:39We've all nicked the fucking act.
1:02:39 > 1:02:41It's Presley's act, we've all nicked it.
1:02:41 > 1:02:44Sorry, ladies, the gentleman was just leaving.
1:02:44 > 1:02:46You what?!
1:02:46 > 1:02:48Allow me to rephrase.
1:02:48 > 1:02:51This tone deaf, peroxide nancy boy
1:02:51 > 1:02:53ponce was just on his way out the door.
1:02:53 > 1:02:55Get your fucking hands off me, know who I am?
1:02:55 > 1:02:57Argh!
1:03:00 > 1:03:02- CHAS:- Go on!
1:03:04 > 1:03:06- CLEM:- Go on. Go on, Jess!
1:03:06 > 1:03:08I'll show you some fucking moves!
1:03:08 > 1:03:12HEINZ SCREAMS
1:03:20 > 1:03:21You bit my nose off!
1:03:21 > 1:03:24You are off the tour as of now and you are never to...
1:03:24 > 1:03:26SCREAMS INCOHERENTLY
1:03:26 > 1:03:30- You heard what he said. Fuck off.- You what?
1:03:30 > 1:03:33- Fuck off and take these two slags with ya.- What about my whistles?
1:03:33 > 1:03:40- Don't worry about that. Fuck off! - Ladies. Gentlemen.- See ya, Jeff.
1:03:40 > 1:03:42- See ya later.- See ya soon, mate.
1:03:42 > 1:03:45- Well, that was really clever(!) - Well done.
1:03:45 > 1:03:48- Yeah, brilliant.- Brilliant. Yeah. You fucking wanker.- Fuck off.- Idiot.
1:03:54 > 1:03:57Oh, look, the lawyer's here.
1:03:57 > 1:04:02Robert George Meek, you will appear at 9.00am at Highgate magistrates
1:04:02 > 1:04:03on charges of importuning, sir.
1:04:03 > 1:04:06If you do not have counsel, we will appoint counsel for you.
1:04:06 > 1:04:07Thank you for a wonderful evening.
1:04:07 > 1:04:09PHONE RINGS
1:04:10 > 1:04:13Islington police station.
1:04:25 > 1:04:27In the papers, uh!
1:04:33 > 1:04:35What about my poor mother?
1:04:38 > 1:04:40Lionel, what about home? Oh.
1:05:11 > 1:05:13It's Jeff on the phone, he can't make it either.
1:05:13 > 1:05:16He's taking his mum to the doctors.
1:05:32 > 1:05:36Having a good clear out then? That's good.
1:05:36 > 1:05:37I've put some toast on. Do you want tea?
1:05:44 > 1:05:45Coffee it is.
1:05:52 > 1:05:57- It's paranoia.- He's just being careful.- He's just being mental.
1:05:58 > 1:06:01No-one is spying on him. It's all in his head.
1:06:01 > 1:06:04My idea has somehow ended up on the wireless?
1:06:04 > 1:06:07- You think someone's stealing tapes? - Or worse.
1:06:07 > 1:06:11And all that pledging allegiance bollocks, it's like being in the fucking Scouts.
1:06:11 > 1:06:13- "Akela, we..." - No, that's the Cubs.
1:06:13 > 1:06:16My point is, no-one's bugging the place, are they?
1:06:29 > 1:06:31He's just making everyone else as paranoid as he is.
1:06:31 > 1:06:34How should I know?
1:06:34 > 1:06:37You could be throwing us off the scent. You could be the spy?
1:06:37 > 1:06:41- I fucking ask you.- I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying you could be.
1:06:41 > 1:06:43He thinks we're all talking about him behind his back!
1:06:43 > 1:06:46We are!
1:06:46 > 1:06:50- I can hear talking in there and I don't want to.- Sorry, Joe. - Sorry, Joe.
1:06:50 > 1:06:53All right. 1, 2, 3 and then drop.
1:06:58 > 1:07:01Oh, bollocks.
1:07:01 > 1:07:03Why are we doing this?
1:07:03 > 1:07:06- Novelty Records always get to No 1, don't they?- Yeah.
1:07:06 > 1:07:08Well, I ain't a novelty musician.
1:07:08 > 1:07:11He's just trying to get us another hit so we can all get paid.
1:07:11 > 1:07:15Well, some of us are doing all right, aren't they? Who had the last hit?
1:07:15 > 1:07:17Mr blond rinse with his Eddie business. That was months ago.
1:07:17 > 1:07:20Top Ten, No 5, mate.
1:07:20 > 1:07:23There's no way that that record made the money that Joe has spent on him.
1:07:23 > 1:07:27No way! I'm not just talking about publicity. He's got a fucking boat!
1:07:27 > 1:07:30I mean, Adam Faith hasn't even got a boat.
1:07:30 > 1:07:32There's me, my arse is hanging out of my trousers
1:07:32 > 1:07:36and he's poncing about on a boat.
1:07:36 > 1:07:37So what's your point?
1:07:37 > 1:07:40My point is. If that's where all the money's going,
1:07:40 > 1:07:43there's little chance of us getting paid, is there?
1:07:43 > 1:07:46Especially not dropping marbles in a fucking khazi.
1:07:46 > 1:07:50- I'm ready for another take.- 1...
1:07:54 > 1:07:56# Three coins in the sewer
1:07:56 > 1:08:01# They fell down the drain... #
1:08:01 > 1:08:03It's your turn to fish them out.
1:08:14 > 1:08:16CRASH
1:08:22 > 1:08:26Don't panic Napoleon, I'm just looking for my fags.
1:08:26 > 1:08:29Look, there. Woodbines.
1:08:29 > 1:08:34- Woodbines in a bass drum. - For fuck's sake!- In a bass drum.
1:08:34 > 1:08:38Yeah, I've been poking around with your echoes and stealing your tapes
1:08:38 > 1:08:42- and I live in a big fucking house with Phil fucking Spector.- Why?
1:08:43 > 1:08:46Clem, why?
1:08:48 > 1:08:51You are going mad.
1:08:53 > 1:08:57Can't you see what you are doing? You're ruining this for all of us.
1:08:57 > 1:08:59Get out you fucking Judas.
1:09:20 > 1:09:24- You tone deaf, mad old bastard! - Go on then, fuck off!
1:09:24 > 1:09:28You see if you can get a gig once I put the word out on you.
1:09:28 > 1:09:32I already am, mate. I'm doing this new band The Kinks on Wednesday. They're really fucking good.
1:09:32 > 1:09:35The Kinks, my arse!
1:09:35 > 1:09:41Go on, fuck off and play with those nobodies! You fat bitch!
1:09:51 > 1:09:53SMASHING
1:09:53 > 1:09:56I'm sorry, it's the neighbours.
1:09:56 > 1:09:59Em, I think you'll find if you arrive at any hotel with this,
1:09:59 > 1:10:01you'll be treated with great care and courtesy.
1:10:03 > 1:10:08Do you want to buy a handbag? Go on then, darling. Go on then.
1:10:08 > 1:10:14And of course underneath, there is space for all your essentials and intimates.
1:10:16 > 1:10:19I'm sorry. My mum was having her bad toe off.
1:10:20 > 1:10:23I pledge allegiance to RGM and everyone who works here.
1:10:23 > 1:10:27- Who are they? - That's Blaikley and Howard.
1:10:27 > 1:10:29What are we recording?
1:10:32 > 1:10:34Snakeskin bag at a specially reduced...
1:10:34 > 1:10:37Brenda - I mean, Miss Murphy. We're going to try elsewhere.
1:10:37 > 1:10:39- But I... - But you promised me a snakeskin,
1:10:39 > 1:10:42- otherwise I never would have let you do that.- Shut up, shush!
1:10:42 > 1:10:44BANGING
1:10:45 > 1:10:49- You dirty old bastard. - Give her one for me, eh!
1:10:58 > 1:11:03Ah! Ah! Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
1:11:03 > 1:11:06No, I'm not having this. Stop it, stop it, stop! Argh!
1:11:06 > 1:11:10- Where's Joe?- I'm afraid Joe doesn't...- Balls, where is he?
1:11:10 > 1:11:12Oh, I'm sorry, sorry!
1:11:12 > 1:11:16Right everyone, I think I've got everything I need, go and get a cup of tea, go on.
1:11:16 > 1:11:20Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Honey, you look lovely
1:11:20 > 1:11:22Well done, boys, you've written a hit!
1:11:22 > 1:11:24Thanks, Joe.
1:11:24 > 1:11:26See you in the charts!
1:11:26 > 1:11:28Alan, vino before the opera.
1:11:28 > 1:11:30Oh, 5:30.
1:11:30 > 1:11:34Honestly, Joe! You just frightened off two of my customers!
1:11:34 > 1:11:38- It was just the chorus. - I don't care what it was.
1:11:38 > 1:11:41This spot's always been good for passing trade.
1:11:41 > 1:11:43We've got a lovely gold leaf polished window.
1:11:43 > 1:11:45Since that thing in the papers.
1:11:45 > 1:11:49Business is slow and there's no polite way of putting this, Joe,
1:11:49 > 1:11:53- you're over a month in arrears with the rent.- Really?
1:11:53 > 1:11:56That's the Major's department.
1:11:56 > 1:12:00- The man is a crook, I'm sorry to be harsh, but there it is.- Really?
1:12:00 > 1:12:02I'll see what I can do about the rent.
1:12:02 > 1:12:05I'll see if I can do something about those rough boys.
1:12:05 > 1:12:06I don't see how!
1:12:08 > 1:12:11They've been sent by the other record companies
1:12:11 > 1:12:12to try and put me off.
1:12:12 > 1:12:16- They know I'm going to have another big hit soon, you see.- Really, Joe?
1:12:16 > 1:12:20It was them that engineered that horrible court case against me.
1:12:20 > 1:12:22I would never do a thing like that.
1:12:22 > 1:12:25How many of those boys do you recognise from 'round here?
1:12:25 > 1:12:27- Here's your tea.- Oh Patrick!
1:12:27 > 1:12:29You're very kind, thank you.
1:12:29 > 1:12:31You had my brother.
1:12:31 > 1:12:35He was only 16, I'll go to the pigs and tell 'em about scum like you. We know where you live.
1:12:35 > 1:12:39Of course he knows where I live! He sent me a letter! Bin!
1:12:43 > 1:12:47Another one. A photo!
1:12:47 > 1:12:50Of you in Hampstead Heath. Does Billy know?
1:12:50 > 1:12:52He's done his homework. Send him a fiver. Next.
1:12:52 > 1:12:55We have returned invoices from the Major.
1:12:55 > 1:12:58He wants to see a breakdown of expenses spent on Heinz.
1:12:58 > 1:13:00- Tight-fisted pig.- Particularly boat.
1:13:00 > 1:13:04It's an asset. It's good press. No-one's got a boat.
1:13:04 > 1:13:07Not even Adam Faith has got a boat.
1:13:07 > 1:13:11- Send in those photos of Heinz fishing.- I don't know about that.
1:13:11 > 1:13:14- He's returned the invoice for the photo session.- I'll call him later.
1:13:14 > 1:13:17- Next.- "I hope you rot in hell. I hope you see your loved ones
1:13:17 > 1:13:19- "scream in agonising pain..." - That's a bit strong!
1:13:19 > 1:13:22- What do they want?- Nothing. It's from the neighbours.
1:13:23 > 1:13:27- Yeah, well, I may have a new backer. - Really?- Mmm.
1:13:27 > 1:13:29And as soon as my royalties from Telstar arrive,
1:13:29 > 1:13:31I will buy you out completely.
1:13:31 > 1:13:36I see. I'm very sorry to hear that, Joe.
1:13:36 > 1:13:40I genuinely like you and I'm going to give you a piece of advice.
1:13:40 > 1:13:42Spreading yourself so thin before you are really established
1:13:42 > 1:13:44is more than a risk. It is, to be frank,
1:13:44 > 1:13:46simple bloody-minded stupidity.
1:13:46 > 1:13:51Don't you dare talk to me like that! I am not one of your lackeys.
1:13:51 > 1:13:54I'm talking to you as a friend, Joe. You're a terrible businessman.
1:13:54 > 1:13:55I dread to think what will happen to you
1:13:55 > 1:13:57if no-one's watching the purse-strings.
1:13:57 > 1:13:59Don't you talk to me about business.
1:13:59 > 1:14:01My band is number one in America
1:14:01 > 1:14:04and you can't get them out of the Billy Fury contract to tour there.
1:14:04 > 1:14:07Where was your business acumen then?
1:14:07 > 1:14:09Joe.
1:14:09 > 1:14:10I am your partner, not your boss.
1:14:10 > 1:14:13Unfortunately, you had everything to do with that contract.
1:14:13 > 1:14:15You signed it, I did not.
1:14:15 > 1:14:18So until your mystery backer coughs up or your royalties arrive,
1:14:18 > 1:14:20we shall remain partners.
1:14:20 > 1:14:22That is what my business acumen tells me.
1:14:22 > 1:14:24Good day.
1:14:32 > 1:14:35Stupid idiot.
1:14:36 > 1:14:38All right? How you doing, mate?
1:14:38 > 1:14:41DOOR CLOSES
1:14:43 > 1:14:46- Hello, Geoff.- Where's everyone else?
1:14:46 > 1:14:50Oh. It's just you and Joe today. He's up top.
1:14:52 > 1:14:55There has been a lot of criticism of late.
1:14:55 > 1:15:00People have been saying that RGM has been sounding old-fashioned.
1:15:00 > 1:15:02Maybe it's because of your classical training,
1:15:02 > 1:15:06or maybe you've been spending too much time on your psychic studies,
1:15:06 > 1:15:08but the point is, you've been letting the side slip
1:15:08 > 1:15:10and I can't allow it to happen any more.
1:15:10 > 1:15:12Am I...?
1:15:12 > 1:15:14Joe, are you firing me?
1:15:14 > 1:15:17- Well, you can't write songs if you're not here.- I got scared.
1:15:17 > 1:15:20Those boys downstairs, I'm not from London, they sense that.
1:15:20 > 1:15:22Friend in need, Geoff.
1:15:24 > 1:15:26If my work is so old-fashioned,
1:15:26 > 1:15:28then why are you recording one of my old tunes?
1:15:28 > 1:15:31The song is by my two new boys, it's got nothing to do with you.
1:15:31 > 1:15:34Oh, so you didn't steal it? That would be a first!
1:15:34 > 1:15:36No!
1:15:43 > 1:15:44Fucking...!
1:15:46 > 1:15:49You're just jealous because they showed you up
1:15:49 > 1:15:51in your fucking job!
1:15:51 > 1:15:54Let's hope they don't have to write for your pretty, tone-deaf pudding!
1:15:54 > 1:15:56Who always sings the guide track?
1:15:56 > 1:15:59- I'm normally louder on the record than he is!- Oh, fuck off, Geoff.
1:15:59 > 1:16:02You're a sad, jealous little boy.
1:16:02 > 1:16:06HE CONTINUES SHOUTING
1:16:06 > 1:16:10I'll give you jealous. Your little cherub has already moved out.
1:16:10 > 1:16:12Do you think he's going to be living alone?
1:16:23 > 1:16:25I don't want to see you any more.
1:16:28 > 1:16:30You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my songs.
1:16:30 > 1:16:34You've always been an embarrassment to me.
1:16:37 > 1:16:40I wrote hits for you, Joe. I...
1:16:42 > 1:16:46The songs come to us from out there.
1:16:46 > 1:16:47Somewhere.
1:16:50 > 1:16:53If that song is off an old tape then I wrote it.
1:16:55 > 1:16:57Patrick!
1:16:57 > 1:16:59I'm here, Joe.
1:17:00 > 1:17:02Show Mr Goddard to the door.
1:17:02 > 1:17:05Thanks for your help, Geoff. Shan't be needing you any more.
1:17:11 > 1:17:12Come on, Geoff.
1:17:16 > 1:17:18This place used to radiate.
1:17:18 > 1:17:21Everyone gave something into the ether
1:17:21 > 1:17:25and together we created...miracles.
1:17:25 > 1:17:27He got big-headed.
1:17:27 > 1:17:31Sucked everyone's energy, like a vampire.
1:17:34 > 1:17:37I can see where he's going.
1:17:37 > 1:17:39It's dark.
1:17:40 > 1:17:42Cold.
1:17:44 > 1:17:46I fear it may cost him everything.
1:17:54 > 1:17:55Bye, Geoff.
1:17:58 > 1:18:00Be careful, Patrick.
1:18:17 > 1:18:18RADIO: Hello, Playmates.
1:18:18 > 1:18:21# Oh, what a glorious thing to be
1:18:21 > 1:18:23# A healthy grown-up busy, busy bee
1:18:23 > 1:18:26# Whiling away the passing hours... #
1:18:26 > 1:18:28All right, sweetheart?
1:18:28 > 1:18:30# ..I'd like to be a busy, busy bee
1:18:30 > 1:18:32# Being just as busy as a bee can be
1:18:32 > 1:18:33# Flying round the garden
1:18:33 > 1:18:35# Brightest ever seen
1:18:35 > 1:18:37# Taking back the honey to the dear old queen... #
1:18:37 > 1:18:39Fuck off!
1:18:40 > 1:18:42SHOUTING
1:18:42 > 1:18:44# Honey bee, honey bee
1:18:44 > 1:18:47# Bzzz if you like but don't sting me
1:18:47 > 1:18:50# Honey bee, honey bee
1:18:50 > 1:18:53# Bzzz if you like but don't sting me! #
1:18:57 > 1:19:00MUSIC PLAYS
1:19:00 > 1:19:01HE WHISTLES
1:19:04 > 1:19:06"Hello, Playmates!"
1:19:06 > 1:19:09Morning. Miserable bastard.
1:19:11 > 1:19:14I'm moving into my new digs tonight. Handsome, it is.
1:19:14 > 1:19:17You should see it, it's lovely. Bedroom the size of a football pitch.
1:19:17 > 1:19:21I've got an ensuite and all. Never had one of those before.
1:19:24 > 1:19:28I'm playing the Arthur Askey gig tonight. Are you coming?
1:19:28 > 1:19:31# I'm a busy, busy bee Oh, what a glorious thing to be. #
1:19:31 > 1:19:34GASPS What are you doing?!
1:19:34 > 1:19:37- What are you doing? What are you doing?!- Who is she?
1:19:37 > 1:19:39- What are you on about?- Who is she?!
1:19:41 > 1:19:45- You've been covering your tracks, haven't you?- Tongues wag, Joe.
1:19:48 > 1:19:50It's good for my image to have a girlfriend.
1:19:50 > 1:19:54What fucking image? I gave you your fucking image!
1:19:56 > 1:19:58I'm not like you.
1:20:04 > 1:20:07Go on then, go. Leave your stuff, go, I've got work to do.
1:20:07 > 1:20:10Go if you're going! Fucking go!
1:20:10 > 1:20:14SOBS
1:20:16 > 1:20:20TURNS ON MUSIC: "Have I The Right?" by The Honeycombs
1:20:20 > 1:20:22# You know I'll always miss you
1:20:22 > 1:20:27# I've loved you from the very start
1:20:29 > 1:20:31# Come right back I just can't bear it
1:20:31 > 1:20:35# I've got this love and I long to share it
1:20:35 > 1:20:40# Come right back I'll show my love is strong
1:20:40 > 1:20:41# Oh, yeah
1:20:41 > 1:20:44# Have I the right to touch you?
1:20:44 > 1:20:48# If I could you'd see how much you
1:20:48 > 1:20:52# Send those shivers running down my spine
1:20:52 > 1:20:54# Oooh-ooh-ooh
1:20:54 > 1:20:58# Have I the right to thrill you?
1:20:58 > 1:21:00# You know I'll wait until you
1:21:00 > 1:21:05# Give me the right to make you mine
1:21:07 > 1:21:10# Come right back I just can't bear it
1:21:10 > 1:21:13# I've got some love and I long to share it... #
1:21:13 > 1:21:15- DJ:- That was The Honeycombs,
1:21:15 > 1:21:18with their second week at the top of the charts,
1:21:18 > 1:21:20but how long can they keep the new boys off the top spot?
1:21:20 > 1:21:22Playing us out, it's the Kinks.
1:21:22 > 1:21:24INTRO: "You Really Got Me" by the Kinks
1:21:24 > 1:21:25That's enough of that.
1:21:39 > 1:21:42- How was Spain?- Majorca.
1:21:42 > 1:21:44Impressive.
1:22:16 > 1:22:18I would have been prepared to be talked down.
1:22:18 > 1:22:20I would have settled for less.
1:22:20 > 1:22:22Doesn't matter.
1:22:22 > 1:22:24If you had waited until after the Telstar case,
1:22:24 > 1:22:28- you could have easily bought me out with your own royalties.- Really?
1:22:28 > 1:22:31As it stands, you've just spent our last penny from our latest hit
1:22:31 > 1:22:35to buy half a company which is in debt and losing money.
1:22:38 > 1:22:44BLOWS RASPBERRY
1:22:48 > 1:22:49Sour grapes, innit?
1:22:49 > 1:22:52You just don't want to lose half the business
1:22:52 > 1:22:54because you know how big it's going to get.
1:22:54 > 1:22:56I hope you're right, Joe.
1:22:56 > 1:22:58I know I'm right, Wilfred.
1:22:58 > 1:23:03- Geoff says the song was stolen from him.- Let him sue.
1:23:03 > 1:23:08I'm number one again and that's just the start.
1:23:16 > 1:23:20Look after your men, Joe. They're the only thing looking after you.
1:23:20 > 1:23:22Thanks for the advice, Major.
1:23:22 > 1:23:24Now fuck off.
1:23:33 > 1:23:37- What now, boss? - Bigger and better things, Patrick.
1:23:42 > 1:23:45Play it properly or I'll blow your fucking head off.
1:23:52 > 1:23:53I'm recording.
1:23:56 > 1:23:58MUSIC STARTS
1:24:00 > 1:24:03What do we have here? These dire cash problems.
1:24:03 > 1:24:05With the Telstar money frozen,
1:24:05 > 1:24:08simply, there is not enough money coming in
1:24:08 > 1:24:11to pay for the tax on the previous high earnings.
1:24:15 > 1:24:16You have a strong heart.
1:24:16 > 1:24:21And I sense that your guide is Rameses the Great.
1:24:21 > 1:24:23The mightiest of Pharaohs!
1:24:23 > 1:24:25Operating under pseudonyms.
1:24:25 > 1:24:28Reneging on royalties to individuals.
1:24:28 > 1:24:30Breaking union pay laws.
1:24:30 > 1:24:33These are very serious matters!
1:24:33 > 1:24:35And I see great doom.
1:24:35 > 1:24:37Tax must be paid!
1:24:37 > 1:24:39Her Majesty's Board of Trade.
1:24:39 > 1:24:41I look down with terrible anger.
1:24:41 > 1:24:42Seize your assets.
1:24:42 > 1:24:44You work for us.
1:24:44 > 1:24:46We own your very soul.
1:24:46 > 1:24:48ECHOES
1:25:00 > 1:25:03- Please don't come back! Please don't come back!- Joseph, it's OK.
1:25:03 > 1:25:06It's all right. Sit down. Get your breath back.
1:25:06 > 1:25:09You're all right. Here. Put your head between your legs.
1:25:09 > 1:25:12- You're all right.- Fucking nutter. Where did he get that from?
1:25:12 > 1:25:13Heinz used to have it on the tour.
1:25:13 > 1:25:16- Used to get a lot of gyp threats and that.- Wanker.
1:25:16 > 1:25:18- I'm going to be sick.- You're all right, mate, it's over now.
1:25:18 > 1:25:22Oh, I've fucking pissed myself. Pissed me fucking pants, man!
1:25:22 > 1:25:24He's been under a lot of stress lately, with the bank,
1:25:24 > 1:25:26the Board of Trade, the French courts...
1:25:26 > 1:25:30- Good boy, Patrick, I can trust you. - Sick wanker!- I'm sorry, mate.
1:25:30 > 1:25:32It's just tunes, mate. It's supposed to be a laugh.
1:25:32 > 1:25:34- I've got to get some air. - I think we all have.
1:25:34 > 1:25:36Supposed to be fun.
1:25:40 > 1:25:43He wouldn't have pulled a gun on Clem, would he?
1:25:48 > 1:25:50Bunch of girls. I would have shot Clem.
1:25:50 > 1:25:54And here, with the Beatles, is their famous manager, Mr Brian Epstein.
1:25:54 > 1:25:56# It's hard to believe... #
1:25:56 > 1:25:59Joe. Joe. I don't understand all that palaver.
1:25:59 > 1:26:02I just don't understand why I don't get my rent.
1:26:02 > 1:26:05I'm so sorry, Biddy.
1:26:05 > 1:26:08I mean Violet.
1:26:08 > 1:26:10Knives are out for me on all sides.
1:26:10 > 1:26:13I am being ripped from pillar to post. People just...
1:26:15 > 1:26:18I don't know what to do.
1:26:18 > 1:26:21I don't have anything to give you.
1:26:21 > 1:26:25Oh, here you go. You'll be fine.
1:26:28 > 1:26:31Don't worry. As soon as the money comes through from Telstar,
1:26:31 > 1:26:33you'll be rich as Solomon.
1:26:33 > 1:26:36That French bastard has ruined my fucking life.
1:26:36 > 1:26:38I'm sorry, Violet.
1:26:38 > 1:26:43- "Pardon my French," you should say.- Yeah!
1:26:43 > 1:26:45'Pushing Telstar from the Guinness book of records.
1:26:45 > 1:26:50'And now with an MBE for services to Great Britain, it seems
1:26:50 > 1:26:53'that the fans really do have something to scream about.'
1:26:55 > 1:26:58Listen, I only do autographs at shows, all right?
1:26:58 > 1:27:02- Where are you going with my car? - Heinz Burt. Repossession order.
1:27:02 > 1:27:05You fucking what?
1:27:05 > 1:27:07What's all this? Oi!
1:27:11 > 1:27:14Don't look at me, I don't know!
1:27:14 > 1:27:18- I want it back. You can't stick me with your fucking debts.- And the car!
1:27:18 > 1:27:21- I don't know nothing. - And what about the boat?
1:27:21 > 1:27:22What about my boat?!
1:27:24 > 1:27:26'Stop shouting. I know you're outside.'
1:27:26 > 1:27:28I go down the jetty and there's nothing there.
1:27:28 > 1:27:31All I'm left with is a handful of paper.
1:27:31 > 1:27:34You know Larry Parnes, you know we've had a terrible rift.
1:27:36 > 1:27:38Sort of.
1:27:38 > 1:27:40So your secret chats behind my back
1:27:40 > 1:27:42have done nothing but give him something to hurt me with.
1:27:42 > 1:27:44I asked him for advice, that's all.
1:27:44 > 1:27:47How dare you try and creep out of your contract after all I've done?
1:27:47 > 1:27:50You put me on that shitty seaside tour and I am sick of it.
1:27:50 > 1:27:54And when I get back, I've got fucking nothing.
1:27:54 > 1:27:57I've got no car, no boat, and no follow-up!
1:27:57 > 1:27:59I've had a row with Geoff.
1:27:59 > 1:28:01Well, he's a prat anyway.
1:28:02 > 1:28:06What about them two that wrote for the Honeycombs? Yeah?
1:28:06 > 1:28:08I liked all that.
1:28:08 > 1:28:10'Really, Joe. You can't be serious.
1:28:10 > 1:28:13'I mean, he is awful! You really must move on.'
1:28:13 > 1:28:16- They're not right. - Can't you write some?
1:28:16 > 1:28:19No point, if you want to leave me.
1:28:19 > 1:28:20No...
1:28:23 > 1:28:25I just thought something funny was going on, that's all.
1:28:25 > 1:28:27That's why I called Parnes.
1:28:27 > 1:28:30It's Della, yeah.
1:28:30 > 1:28:33Just gets a bit, you know, jealous. Silly, really.
1:28:34 > 1:28:37- I don't mean to hurt people. - I just want my car back.
1:28:38 > 1:28:41- I'll see what I can do. - What about my follow-up?
1:28:41 > 1:28:44I just don't want to lose you.
1:28:44 > 1:28:45I'm going now.
1:28:50 > 1:28:52Things will get better, you'll see!
1:28:56 > 1:29:00What happens to people like us, Patrick? Music people?
1:29:01 > 1:29:05When all the hits have gone, when they've all been dried up.
1:29:06 > 1:29:08What do we do when we can't do this any more?
1:29:10 > 1:29:12Get proper jobs, I suppose.
1:29:19 > 1:29:22I think we're just supposed to disappear.
1:29:29 > 1:29:32'Dear Mr Gillard.
1:29:32 > 1:29:34'As my lawyer, there are certain things
1:29:34 > 1:29:36'I would like you to know about me.
1:29:38 > 1:29:40'So that you are not influenced
1:29:40 > 1:29:42'by things other people are saying about me.'
1:29:44 > 1:29:48'I know there are some things I'm not good at - numbers, paperwork -
1:29:48 > 1:29:49'but that don't make me bad.'
1:29:49 > 1:29:51Excuse me.
1:29:57 > 1:30:01'It seems that all the things I'm no good at is what people use to hurt me with,
1:30:01 > 1:30:04'and all the things I am good at...don't matter.
1:30:09 > 1:30:11'All my time is spent catching up.
1:30:16 > 1:30:19'But every time I look up, everything's changed.
1:30:19 > 1:30:21'And I have to catch up again.
1:30:26 > 1:30:28'Why does everyone want to hurt me?
1:30:28 > 1:30:30'Please...
1:30:30 > 1:30:32'be my friend.
1:30:32 > 1:30:34'Please, help me.'
1:30:36 > 1:30:38Yours sincerely, Joe Meek.
1:30:58 > 1:31:01Why are you having parties? You can't afford this.
1:31:01 > 1:31:05If I can buy my way into those pirate ship top tens, I bloody well will.
1:31:05 > 1:31:07You can't afford to pay bribes.
1:31:07 > 1:31:09They're not bribes, they're investments.
1:31:09 > 1:31:12- You can't afford them. - Right, read the letter.
1:31:12 > 1:31:13Go on, read the letter.
1:31:13 > 1:31:16Go on, read the letter, read the letter.
1:31:16 > 1:31:21"EMI Records, EMI House, W1.
1:31:21 > 1:31:26"Dear Mr Meek, EMI re, Have I The Right, by The Honeycombs.
1:31:26 > 1:31:31"Thank you for submitting your record. We feel that this record is of no commercial value.
1:31:31 > 1:31:35"Yours sincerely, Sir Joseph Lockwood."
1:31:35 > 1:31:38Well, that one sold half a million, so someone knows what they're doing.
1:31:38 > 1:31:41DOOR SLAMS
1:31:51 > 1:31:53Now, now, sir.
1:31:54 > 1:31:58Robert George Meek, we are officers of Her Majesty's Board of Trade and Commerce,
1:31:58 > 1:32:00and after several requests for receipts of trade and income,
1:32:00 > 1:32:02we are now authorised to seize...
1:32:03 > 1:32:08Don't go in there! I don't have the books. Tony Shanks has the books and won't give 'em back.
1:32:08 > 1:32:10- Open it!- It's full of junk.
1:32:11 > 1:32:14You put that back. You put that back!
1:32:16 > 1:32:17It stinks in here.
1:32:17 > 1:32:19Don't you ever think to open a window?
1:32:19 > 1:32:21My lawyer, Mr Gilhead, he'll tell you.
1:32:21 > 1:32:24No, don't do that. No, don't do that!
1:32:24 > 1:32:25Don't...
1:32:25 > 1:32:27Don't do that!
1:32:27 > 1:32:29No, don't do that! Don't do that!
1:32:29 > 1:32:31No, no...
1:33:19 > 1:33:21RADIO CRACKLES
1:33:41 > 1:33:42Joe.
1:33:45 > 1:33:47Wake up, Joe.
1:33:48 > 1:33:49Joe, it's Patrick.
1:33:51 > 1:33:53Oh, sorry, was I off again?
1:33:53 > 1:33:54Miles away.
1:33:54 > 1:33:56RADIO CONTINUES CRACKLING
1:33:58 > 1:33:59You shouldn't take those.
1:33:59 > 1:34:03- They help me think. - And the others?
1:34:04 > 1:34:07They stop me thinking.
1:34:07 > 1:34:10You should see Dr Crisp about those trances.
1:34:10 > 1:34:12The last thing I need is another doctor's bill.
1:34:12 > 1:34:14You don't get them any more, silly.
1:34:14 > 1:34:19I pinched a bit of steak from Mum's larder. We've got some spuds, I thought I'd do us some tea.
1:34:19 > 1:34:22You're so very kind.
1:34:22 > 1:34:24PHONE RINGS
1:34:24 > 1:34:27Leave it. Patrick...
1:34:27 > 1:34:29PHONE CONTINUES RINGING
1:34:36 > 1:34:39They want to take my boys away.
1:34:39 > 1:34:40Who?
1:34:42 > 1:34:43The Krays.
1:34:45 > 1:34:48They saw The Tornadoes at the relief gig
1:34:48 > 1:34:50and they want to manage them.
1:34:51 > 1:34:55Joe...you should take Sir Joseph's offer.
1:34:55 > 1:34:56Work at Abbey Road.
1:34:56 > 1:34:59Let them worry about the bills and the tax.
1:34:59 > 1:35:01You've had enough bad luck in this place.
1:35:01 > 1:35:05You've proved your point. You should move on.
1:35:07 > 1:35:10My real name is Robert.
1:35:10 > 1:35:13Robert George Meek. RGM.
1:35:15 > 1:35:17My nan named me Joe after her son.
1:35:17 > 1:35:20Uncle Joe was killed in the Great War.
1:35:20 > 1:35:22An officer...a boy
1:35:22 > 1:35:24ordered him to take up a Maxim gun post
1:35:24 > 1:35:28where he knew he'd be shot, and he did it and he was, shot.
1:35:28 > 1:35:29Right through the face.
1:35:31 > 1:35:35This officer, he ordered the next soldier to pull the body down
1:35:35 > 1:35:39and take up the post. Well...the next soldier was...
1:35:41 > 1:35:44..my father. And he did it.
1:35:44 > 1:35:46Oh, he fought like mad.
1:35:48 > 1:35:51But he was hit. Lucky though, he survived.
1:35:51 > 1:35:55He had a piece of shrapnel lodged in his skull.
1:35:55 > 1:35:59He had to convalesce for years, but it was a shock, you see, the shock,
1:35:59 > 1:36:01the shock did the damage.
1:36:04 > 1:36:06Then he met my mum.
1:36:07 > 1:36:10But all our lives, he could never work for anyone else.
1:36:10 > 1:36:13He could never take an order from anyone ever else again,
1:36:13 > 1:36:15it would drive him mad.
1:36:15 > 1:36:17T-T-T-The shrapnel would move in his skull
1:36:17 > 1:36:21and he would smash up the village and spend all night screaming.
1:36:21 > 1:36:26So he had to be his own boss, you see, he had to be.
1:36:28 > 1:36:32Anyway, that's why I'm called Joe.
1:36:35 > 1:36:37I can't work for someone else.
1:36:39 > 1:36:42Everything I try to do is here.
1:36:47 > 1:36:48I'll make tea.
1:37:05 > 1:37:07BIRDS SING
1:37:11 > 1:37:15You, Joe, are a very special boy.
1:37:15 > 1:37:18You have a little sparkle in you.
1:37:37 > 1:37:40I used to look at you and I would be so glad to see you.
1:37:42 > 1:37:45No matter how I felt, you would...lift me up.
1:37:47 > 1:37:51Now I can't help seeing you bearing down on me with all those other bastards.
1:37:51 > 1:37:56- I need the money you owe me.- Please, go home, I don't owe you anything.
1:37:56 > 1:37:57Bollocks.
1:37:57 > 1:38:02You had hits all over the world. The Tornados and my solo stuff.
1:38:02 > 1:38:04You cost me.
1:38:05 > 1:38:10Every picture you had took, every record that got pressed and never sold cost me.
1:38:10 > 1:38:15Half the time you were in the charts cost me, and I paid for that.
1:38:15 > 1:38:18Well, if you'd done a better job, you'd have had more hits.
1:38:18 > 1:38:21I did everything for you.
1:38:22 > 1:38:25- I sweated blood for you. - It weren't enough.
1:38:25 > 1:38:26It didn't work.
1:38:26 > 1:38:29I've got a job, Joe.
1:38:29 > 1:38:34Jesus, a job, I'm painting fucking buses!
1:38:36 > 1:38:37You lied.
1:38:39 > 1:38:41The Palladium this,
1:38:41 > 1:38:43America that...
1:38:43 > 1:38:45You fuckin' lied!
1:38:47 > 1:38:51I'm a mug I believed all your bullshit.
1:38:52 > 1:38:54I loved you.
1:38:56 > 1:38:59When I think about us, I'm actually sick.
1:39:00 > 1:39:04I knew you was a bender. I had your number from the start.
1:39:04 > 1:39:07- You're the mug.- That's a lie.
1:39:07 > 1:39:12- No, you're the fucking liar! - No, I know what I am.
1:39:12 > 1:39:15Yeah, sick bent old crook who owes me money!
1:39:15 > 1:39:16I...
1:39:17 > 1:39:21SCREAMS AND SHOUTS
1:39:21 > 1:39:25I've seen it before, Joe. I've seen it all before. Come on, then!
1:39:27 > 1:39:31Yeah, you fucking...old fuck.
1:39:31 > 1:39:33Yeah, yeah, I'll fucking kill you.
1:39:33 > 1:39:36I will fucking murder ya!
1:39:39 > 1:39:41I made you.
1:39:42 > 1:39:45You're not supposed to be like this.
1:39:45 > 1:39:48- It's not supposed to be like this. - If I see you here again...
1:39:48 > 1:39:51- You don't understand. - ..I'll kill you.
1:39:58 > 1:40:00Bender.
1:40:17 > 1:40:20What are you talking about?
1:40:20 > 1:40:22You want me...
1:40:37 > 1:40:39So am I.
1:40:39 > 1:40:43Astorina an Domini...inferni.
1:40:43 > 1:40:46An Domini inferni...
1:40:52 > 1:40:54Please, hear me.
1:40:54 > 1:40:59Someone is stealing from me, and from my mind, my ideas.
1:40:59 > 1:41:01I know I'm not myself, you see.
1:41:01 > 1:41:04And I've tried, I've tried not thinking,
1:41:04 > 1:41:07I've tried not speaking, but it always seems to find a way of...
1:41:07 > 1:41:11fucking having me, and it's taking me somewhere,
1:41:11 > 1:41:15and I know you understand, so where does it go?
1:41:16 > 1:41:18I wish someone loved me.
1:41:18 > 1:41:21But you love someone, they just take from you.
1:41:21 > 1:41:24They ruin you from inside, and everything else gets ruined.
1:41:24 > 1:41:28It's easy to get famous and now my music's no good.
1:41:31 > 1:41:34Please tell me what to do to make it stop. Please...
1:41:36 > 1:41:37..make it stop!
1:41:40 > 1:41:42I understand.
1:42:27 > 1:42:28Joe?
1:42:28 > 1:42:30Oh, God!
1:42:30 > 1:42:32There's a couple of kids downstairs here to stack some tapes.
1:42:32 > 1:42:35Tell them to fuck off.
1:42:35 > 1:42:37We don't need you today, boys.
1:42:46 > 1:42:48Get Mrs Shenton up here!
1:42:51 > 1:42:53I don't know what it's about, Mrs Shenton.
1:42:53 > 1:42:55- He just really wants to see you. - Oh, he's been busy.
1:42:55 > 1:42:57He recorded me singing last night.
1:42:57 > 1:43:00It's always been a secret ambition of mine, singing.
1:43:00 > 1:43:03I'm sure it'll sound lovely. What sort of mood's he in?
1:43:03 > 1:43:07- Oh, he's in a pretty bad mood. - Oh, well, I'll cheer him up.
1:43:07 > 1:43:11Will you hold this for me? I don't like to smoke up there.
1:43:40 > 1:43:45- I want a word with you.- Oh, my God, is that real? Is it loaded?
1:43:45 > 1:43:47Don't talk, answer the question.
1:43:47 > 1:43:52- What question? You haven't asked a question.- I'm not stupid.
1:43:52 > 1:43:55Come on, Joe, you're really frightening me.
1:43:58 > 1:43:59Who is he?
1:43:59 > 1:44:04- Who's who? - I've told you once, I'm not stupid!
1:44:04 > 1:44:07If I was stupid, people wouldn't be able to ruin me.
1:44:07 > 1:44:11Who is the man, our friend in the Crombie coat?
1:44:11 > 1:44:14Him? He's just the agent.
1:44:14 > 1:44:16Agent?
1:44:16 > 1:44:19He's the estate agent.
1:44:28 > 1:44:32We're not as young as we were, and you've been terrible with the rent.
1:44:32 > 1:44:36- The business has been poor. - Estate agents?
1:44:39 > 1:44:42Give me the book, the rent book.
1:44:42 > 1:44:43Let me find the book.
1:44:43 > 1:44:45I think it's downstairs.
1:44:45 > 1:44:48Why don't we just pop down and have a nice cup of tea.
1:44:48 > 1:44:51Just give me the fucking book!
1:44:51 > 1:44:53Your lease is up at the end of the month.
1:44:53 > 1:44:55The bank next door wants to expand.
1:44:55 > 1:44:58We are retiring, it's nothing to do with the rent.
1:44:58 > 1:45:02I didn't want to tell you like this. The shop is our nest egg.
1:45:04 > 1:45:07- I said, didn't I... - You let an estate agent in here.
1:45:07 > 1:45:11Well, he had to see the place before he could make an offer.
1:45:11 > 1:45:14Yeah, I knew something was wrong. I knew something.
1:45:14 > 1:45:16I thought everyone was out to hurt me,
1:45:16 > 1:45:18I thought all these people wanted to get me
1:45:18 > 1:45:21I thought there was a curse.
1:45:21 > 1:45:24I didn't know, I thought it might be Phil Spector or George Martin
1:45:24 > 1:45:29or any of those thieving pigs, but no, no, it was you!
1:45:30 > 1:45:32Just...you!
1:45:34 > 1:45:36Selling my home when I was in it.
1:45:37 > 1:45:39The place I built from nothing.
1:45:39 > 1:45:43The place I lived and toiled in for six years,
1:45:43 > 1:45:46the place that everyone else got fat off.
1:45:46 > 1:45:51That made millions and millions and millions of people happy.
1:45:51 > 1:45:54And you, you was trying to sell it.
1:45:54 > 1:45:55You was trying to kill it.
1:45:55 > 1:45:58It was you, Violet.
1:46:30 > 1:46:32She's dead, Joe.
1:46:32 > 1:46:34I think she's dead.
1:46:36 > 1:46:37What have you done, Joe?
1:46:42 > 1:46:45No, Joe, please, don't! Please, please!
1:46:45 > 1:46:47- Stop, stop.- No, Joe, please!
1:46:47 > 1:46:50- It's all right, it's all right. - Please!
1:46:51 > 1:46:53What's the date?
1:46:55 > 1:46:57- What?- What's the date?
1:46:57 > 1:47:00It's the 3rd, it's February the 3rd.
1:47:10 > 1:47:12Bye, Patrick.
1:47:25 > 1:47:28Joe! No!
1:47:28 > 1:47:30No, no!
1:47:30 > 1:47:33No, no, no!
1:47:35 > 1:47:37No, no, no, no!
1:47:39 > 1:47:41No, no!
1:47:47 > 1:47:50# If I got down on my knees
1:47:50 > 1:47:53# And I pleaded with you
1:47:53 > 1:47:59# Not to go, but to stay in my arms
1:47:59 > 1:48:03# Would you walk
1:48:03 > 1:48:06# Out the door
1:48:06 > 1:48:13# Like you did once before?
1:48:13 > 1:48:16# This time
1:48:16 > 1:48:19# Be different
1:48:19 > 1:48:22# Please stay
1:48:22 > 1:48:25# Don't go
1:48:25 > 1:48:31# If I call out your name like a prayer
1:48:31 > 1:48:38# Would you leave me alone in my fear
1:48:38 > 1:48:40# Knowing I
1:48:40 > 1:48:44# Need you so?
1:48:44 > 1:48:51# Would you still turn and go
1:48:51 > 1:48:54# This time
1:48:54 > 1:48:57# Be different
1:48:57 > 1:49:00# Please stay
1:49:00 > 1:49:03# Don't go
1:49:03 > 1:49:07# Please stay
1:49:09 > 1:49:16# I loved you before I even knew your name
1:49:16 > 1:49:22# I wanted to give you my heart
1:49:22 > 1:49:25# But when you came back
1:49:25 > 1:49:29# After leaving me one time
1:49:29 > 1:49:33# Oh, I knew, oh, how I knew
1:49:33 > 1:49:41# That the heartache would start
1:49:44 > 1:49:51# If I call out your name like a song
1:49:51 > 1:49:57# Which was written for you and you alone
1:49:57 > 1:50:00# Would you still
1:50:00 > 1:50:03# Hurt my pride
1:50:03 > 1:50:06# Baby, till
1:50:06 > 1:50:10# Till I cry
1:50:10 > 1:50:13# This time
1:50:13 > 1:50:16# Be different
1:50:16 > 1:50:19# Please stay
1:50:19 > 1:50:22# Don't go
1:50:22 > 1:50:25# Please stay
1:50:25 > 1:50:29# You know I'll always love you, darling
1:50:29 > 1:50:31# Please stay
1:50:31 > 1:50:34# Don't go
1:50:34 > 1:50:40# Please, please, stay. #
1:51:01 > 1:51:03# Cheatin' was his trade
1:51:04 > 1:51:06# A seller of lies
1:51:07 > 1:51:09# A heart so cold
1:51:10 > 1:51:13# He seemed to hypnotise
1:51:14 > 1:51:16# He always works alone
1:51:17 > 1:51:20# Crawdaddy Simone
1:51:21 > 1:51:23# He had no axe to grind
1:51:25 > 1:51:27# You never saw him smile
1:51:28 > 1:51:30# But his look was good
1:51:32 > 1:51:34# He always dressed in style
1:51:35 > 1:51:37# He always walks alone
1:51:38 > 1:51:41# Crawdaddy Simone... #
1:51:41 > 1:51:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd