0:01:35 > 0:01:38OK, Eddie. You're on your own.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44After four years, can't you favour us with a smile on your graduation day?
0:01:46 > 0:01:47HORN
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Hi, Eddie!
0:01:53 > 0:01:58- Hi, Smiley!- What's the matter, boss? Couldn't tear yourself away?!
0:02:08 > 0:02:13- How was the stretch this time, boss? Tough?- Nah!
0:02:13 > 0:02:18- Which is why I didn't crash out. - I was sure expecting you to.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Nice car.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25- It's all yours.- OURS.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Everything we've got.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31You're a swell pal, Eddie.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43Yeah. I heard all about it. You done a good job while I was gone.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45And I ain't forgetting it.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48You're a lot richer than when you went in.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51WE'RE a lot richer.
0:02:51 > 0:02:58Thanks, Eddie. ..Forgot to tell you, you got a couple of new spots downtown, real class.
0:02:58 > 0:03:03- The guy will show you the books. - I take your word - like always.
0:03:03 > 0:03:08- Course, we got troubles, too. - I'll take care of the troubles.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Like when we was kids -
0:03:10 > 0:03:15- me and you against everybody, eh, Smiley?- Sure.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Got my rod?
0:03:19 > 0:03:23- Wearing it right next to my heart. - Let me have it.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Sure.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30BANG!
0:03:30 > 0:03:31BANG!
0:03:31 > 0:03:32BANG!
0:03:32 > 0:03:33BANG!
0:05:11 > 0:05:16Can't understand it! Walking along, minding my own business...
0:05:16 > 0:05:21I step off the kerb...a car comes tearing through a red light...
0:05:21 > 0:05:26The cops should have picked up the driver of that car, not ME.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Say, are you a trustee?
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Yes. How long you been here? 300-odd years.
0:05:35 > 0:05:39Gosh, it's hot here. Gets like this in Florida sometimes.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Florida?
0:05:45 > 0:05:46Nah!
0:05:46 > 0:05:50Florida never smelt like this.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Like rotten eggs.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Precisely, young man. Rotten eggs.
0:05:57 > 0:06:03The unpleasant odour is caused by H2S04 - hydrogen sulphuric acid.
0:06:03 > 0:06:08The most common compound of hydrogen and sulphur.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Am I right?
0:06:12 > 0:06:19I poisoned my wife with a sulphur compound. My young wife. She was unfaithful.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22I was a chemist.
0:06:22 > 0:06:28- What do you mean, "was"? - Before they hanged me.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Where are the rope marks?
0:06:34 > 0:06:39What is the last thing YOU remember before they brought you here?
0:06:45 > 0:06:46Smiley!
0:06:49 > 0:06:50Smiley!
0:06:51 > 0:06:54That slimy, double-crossing rat!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Plugging me with my own rod!
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Where are the bullet holes?
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Well...
0:07:10 > 0:07:12..how do you like that?!
0:07:12 > 0:07:15He missed!
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Sitting right next to me and he missed!
0:07:20 > 0:07:22He didn't miss.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25You're dead.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28We're ALL dead.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Listen to this mug, will ya?
0:07:32 > 0:07:37It's true. Only the soul exists down here.
0:07:37 > 0:07:38Gee!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42They always said I'd wind up down here.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I don't care WHERE I am.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49I gotta get Smiley.
0:07:49 > 0:07:54- There must be some way to crush this can!- Abandon hope...
0:07:54 > 0:07:57all ye who enter here!
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Lay off of me! Lay off!
0:08:03 > 0:08:06I gotta get out of here!
0:08:07 > 0:08:09I gotta get Smiley!
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Lay off of me, I tell ya! I gotta get Smiley!
0:09:02 > 0:09:04What sort of temperature is that?
0:09:06 > 0:09:12It's the labour shortage, sire. There's been a drop in boiler room personnel.
0:09:12 > 0:09:18- We are operating at 73% of normal. - Do you want me to catch my death of cold(?)
0:09:18 > 0:09:21No, sire. We are short of condemned souls.
0:09:21 > 0:09:26- I suggest...- Warden, I have no need of your infantile suggestions.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29I'll attend to this matter myself.
0:09:29 > 0:09:33My opponent is always testing my prowess.
0:09:33 > 0:09:38This time, it happens to be one Judge Frederick Parker.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41We'll see who goes down to defeat.
0:09:41 > 0:09:46My beloved sire, your powers are wondrous to behold.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50I have lately been beset by great problems.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53My adversary's working overtime.
0:09:53 > 0:10:00But, superior though he may be - and he's set up a thousand Judge Parkers to thwart me -
0:10:00 > 0:10:04he must recognise that I am still master...of my own sphere.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Yes, sire! SHOUTING >
0:10:07 > 0:10:10What in my domain is that?
0:10:10 > 0:10:12You have no right!
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Let go!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- I'll get every one of you!- Quiet!
0:10:25 > 0:10:28You can't hold me here!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31You can't keep me!
0:10:41 > 0:10:44What's the meaning of this?!
0:10:44 > 0:10:47How dare you bring him here? No choice!
0:11:06 > 0:11:11Cast him into the boiler room - in the circle of darkness!
0:11:17 > 0:11:22- I apologise for the intrusion, sire. - Not at all, warden.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24Pour me a drink.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29- You're not angry? - On the contrary, I'm pleased.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Frankly, I'm delighted.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35To... What was his name?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40The doomed soul that was here? ..Eddie Kagle.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43- Eddie Kagle.- You drink to HIM?
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- A cheap gangster?- Why not?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48I love 'em!
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Ever see that face before?
0:11:54 > 0:11:57Of course! He was just here. Eddie Kagle.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01Wrong, warden. That is Judge Frederick Parker.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Impossible!
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- They look exactly...- Precisely.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09They look exactly alike.
0:12:09 > 0:12:14This likeness is just the weapon I need to defeat Mr Parker.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Eddie Kagle!
0:12:46 > 0:12:48How hot do they want it down here?
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Never gets hot enough to suit the boss.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57Think this is bad? Wait till they put you in those hot claypits below.
0:12:57 > 0:13:01- We ain't at the bottom now? - There ain't no bottom in this joint.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Back, doomed one! Back!
0:13:13 > 0:13:16Back to your work!
0:13:21 > 0:13:26I ain't taking this no longer. I'm crashing out.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Nobody crashes outta here.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33Nobody but Eddie Kagle. He breaks out from every place.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37I'll crash out with you, Eddie.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Who are you?- A pal.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42I don't like pals.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46You mean, like Smiley?
0:13:48 > 0:13:55- How do you know about Smiley? - Grapevine. I can help you get him. I got somebody I want to get, too.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58We can help each other. Deal?
0:13:58 > 0:14:01We gotta crash first.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I know how.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Nix! Screws.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Well, Eddie?
0:14:23 > 0:14:28OK. Watch your step. One false move, and I slug you.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31I'll be extremely careful.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Rub that smile off your face.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37A guy smiled once when he plugged me.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Certainly, Eddie.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Come on.
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Now!
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Hey!
0:14:45 > 0:14:51- You stir-nuts or something? That's the furnace. - It's the only way. Come on!
0:15:11 > 0:15:16- How long have you been down here? - Since time immemorial.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21- The way you talk, you must've had a good education.- A liberal one.
0:15:21 > 0:15:28- I only went to third grade. - I know everything.- Stuck on yourself, huh? What's your name?
0:15:28 > 0:15:33I have a number of aliases. Sometimes it's Mephistopheles.
0:15:33 > 0:15:40- Greek, huh?- Some claim I'm more of one nation than another. But I'm of all nations.
0:15:40 > 0:15:44- You look like a con man. - Call me Nick.- You married?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Millions of women have adored me.
0:15:47 > 0:15:52- Quite a guy with the ladies, huh? - I'm a fascinating fellow.
0:15:52 > 0:15:57- Playing with dames is dynamite. - Delightful dynamite!
0:15:57 > 0:16:02"Live fully while you may and reckon not the cost. Deny yourself nothing.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06"Blaze like a torch, toss the fire about you." Omar Khayyam said it.
0:16:06 > 0:16:14- "Make the most of what we yet may spend, before we too into the dust descend."- You're talking screwy.
0:16:14 > 0:16:19- May I laugh occasionally? - Ain't nothing to laugh about.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21I never saw nothing to laugh about.
0:16:21 > 0:16:28From the time I ran away from home on account of my folks was always drunk and fighting, I ain't laughed.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31All I did was try to be somebody.
0:16:31 > 0:16:38- I worked myself up from where I had nothing to eat and no place to sleep to top guy in my business.- Splendid.
0:16:38 > 0:16:43You're a man after my own heart. I wish the world was full of Eddies.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48- How long is it gonna take us to get up there?- Any moment now.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01All right, down there. Send it up.
0:17:01 > 0:17:06Phew! Old man Schmalhausen must be baking with rotten eggs!
0:17:06 > 0:17:11Smells like the devil, too, doesn't it? >
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Wow! Them ashes are still hot.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21- Hey, douse them ashes with water first!- I don't feel nothing.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25- Of course not. You haven't got a body.- So how am I gonna get Smiley?
0:17:25 > 0:17:32- Hey, look out!- No-one can see or hear you until I find you a body. Come on.
0:17:32 > 0:17:38- How are you gonna find it? - Well, everyone has his physical counterpart - his double.
0:17:38 > 0:17:44- I happen to know where your double is.- You mean a guy which looks like me?- Spitting image.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49- Suppose he don't wanna give me his body?- Asleep, he'll have no say.
0:17:49 > 0:17:54- What happens when he wakes up? - He'll be you.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- And who will I be?- You'll be him.
0:17:56 > 0:18:04- Huh?- To everyone else, you'll be him. Of course, to yourself you'll be yourself.- Oh! Hey...
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- Tell me that again.- Leave everything to me.- I'll leave nothing to you!
0:18:10 > 0:18:17I'm sorry, Eddie. It's this cool air. It makes me irritable. I don't like cold climates.
0:18:17 > 0:18:22I don't feel nothing. If YOU ain't got no body, how come you feel cold?
0:18:22 > 0:18:27I've been below so long that even my soul has got accustomed to the heat.
0:18:27 > 0:18:33- Hey! I ain't got no fingers, right? - That's right.- So no fingerprints?
0:18:33 > 0:18:40- Right.- I can get away with murder! - Not exactly. Without fingers, you cannot squeeze a trigger.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Yeah.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46I sure wanna squeeze a trigger.
0:18:51 > 0:18:57Hey! What is this - a double-cross? This ain't St Louis.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Smiley's in St Louis.
0:19:00 > 0:19:07The body we want is here. And don't forget - you have a job to do for ME first. That was our deal.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12OK. I ain't reneging.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Come on.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Hey!
0:19:28 > 0:19:34- Why have you brought me here?- To get you fingers to squeeze that trigger.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37How do you figure getting them here?
0:19:37 > 0:19:42How did I figure getting you out of that jam down below? But I did.
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Yeah. That was neat.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49This will be even neater. Trust me.
0:19:51 > 0:19:54OK...let's go.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02- Hey, there ain't a seat in the joint.- We'll sit here.
0:20:02 > 0:20:07- What's the matter with you? There's cops in them seats.- They won't know.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26Your Honour, the defendant in this case failed to establish an alibi.
0:20:26 > 0:20:33The testimony conclusively proves that this man was at the scene at the exact time the crime was committed.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36I respectfully request the court...
0:20:36 > 0:20:40That's a lie! I'm not going to take any more of this!
0:20:40 > 0:20:43BANGS GAVEL
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Get a doctor, quick!
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- What happened?- He collapsed, Eddie.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54No judge ever passed out on me.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03This court is now adjourned.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07- Come on, Eddie. Let's go.- Hey!
0:21:07 > 0:21:10Don't give me no orders.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- I do all the leading - get me? - Yes, Eddie.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Don't you never forget - I'm boss.
0:21:17 > 0:21:22Yes, Eddie. I shouldn't have been so brusque.
0:21:26 > 0:21:31I'll give him a sedative. Let him sleep a while then get him home.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35He'll be all right. Sure, Doctor. All right, gentlemen.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Smokes!
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I said I knew where your double was.
0:21:57 > 0:22:02If this guy had been in St Louis, he'd have got bumped instead of me!
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Too bad he didn't.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07- Is he the guy you wanna get?- Yes.
0:22:07 > 0:22:13- What did he do to you? Send you up? - I was sent down, not up.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Hey! This guy's a judge!
0:22:17 > 0:22:21I ain't muscling in on no judge's body!
0:22:21 > 0:22:27What difference does it make? It'll serve your purpose...and mine.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Yeah.
0:22:29 > 0:22:34What happens when he gets up and finds I'm him?
0:22:34 > 0:22:39When we're through with him, he won't know a thing.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44Not a single, blessed... solitary thing.
0:22:44 > 0:22:49What about you? Ain't you gonna find yourself a body?
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Yes, I'll get one.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55But you first - you're the important one.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59Yeah. Don't you forget it.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03I won't forget it, Eddie.
0:23:07 > 0:23:12What...what are you doing?
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Fusion, Eddie - the power of heat.
0:23:16 > 0:23:21I'll fuse you into this man as steel can be fused into steel.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Relax.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Relax!
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Oh, Albert! Yes, Doctor? >
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Is Miss Foster still here? Yes, sir. She's making coffee.
0:24:07 > 0:24:12May I enquire how the judge is? A good night's rest, he'll be fine.
0:24:12 > 0:24:18Good. Run down to the druggist and get this sedative in case he wakes up.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- Is he still sleeping?- Yes.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- There you are.- Thanks.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Nothing serious, I hope, Matt.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Mmm, excellent.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35No, I don't think so. However, I've been expecting this for some time.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- Why do you say that? - One can only do so much.
0:24:39 > 0:24:44I suggest you pile him into his car and get him away for a week or two.
0:24:44 > 0:24:51- I'm only the judge's secretary, not his wife.- If that ring means anything, you soon will be.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- Fred can't possibly go away now. - Why?
0:24:54 > 0:24:59With the election a few days off, the speech tomorrow...
0:24:59 > 0:25:04Well, Barbara, you've always had your own way. I suppose you will now.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08That's not fair, Matt. Nobody can stop Fred. Nobody can push him on.
0:25:08 > 0:25:16- I'm the last one who wants to see him hurt or sick. You believe that, don't you?- Of course.
0:25:16 > 0:25:21- I'll bring him to your office first thing.- No, that wouldn't do at all.
0:25:21 > 0:25:26Not all people accept psychiatry as a normal branch of medicine.
0:25:26 > 0:25:34The general impression is that a man who needs a psychiatrist must be crazy. Ridiculous, but there you are.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38- Some people are reluctant to vote for lunatics!- I hadn't noticed!
0:25:38 > 0:25:41It'd be better if I came here.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- Bye, Barbara.- Goodbye, Matt.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51- Albert!- Yes, Miss Barbara?
0:25:51 > 0:25:57- I'm going home. If the judge wakens during the night, please call me. - Yes, Miss Barbara.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03CLOCK CHIMES
0:26:08 > 0:26:11ALBERT WHISTLES A SOFT TUNE
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Judge!
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Sir, your appointment's for 9 sharp.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Judge! Your Honour!
0:26:33 > 0:26:39I hated to wake you, sir. You were sleeping so peacefully.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55He did it!
0:26:57 > 0:27:02- I got one!- One what, sir?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- You got one too.- I hope so, sir.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21I can feel myself. I'm solid!
0:27:21 > 0:27:26- Solid, like I used to be. - Are you quite all right, sir?
0:27:26 > 0:27:29All right? Sure I'm all right.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Nick... Where's Nick?
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Hey, Nick! Nick, where are you?
0:27:35 > 0:27:36Nick!
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Did Nick sleep here too?
0:27:42 > 0:27:49- I'm afraid I don't follow you, sir. - You'd better not. I don't like being followed. Who are you, anyway?
0:27:49 > 0:27:55- Really, sir...!- Are you gonna tell me or do I slap it out?- I'm Albert, your man, sir. Your bath is ready.
0:27:55 > 0:28:00I don't need one. They cleaned me up when they laid me out. His duds?
0:28:00 > 0:28:06- I beg your pardon?- His duds - rags, clothes.- Whose, sir?- The judge's!
0:28:06 > 0:28:09I've got to get to St Louis quick.
0:28:09 > 0:28:14What am I, a judge or an undertaker? Nothing with fancy stripes?
0:28:14 > 0:28:19- Fancy stripes?!- Never mind. I'll wear one of these.
0:28:22 > 0:28:26Right, you double-crosser. I'm coming for you.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Here you are, sir.
0:28:32 > 0:28:37- What are you gonna do? - Help you into them, sir.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41- Scram!- But, sir...- Scram!- Yes, sir.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Hello, Miss Barbara. This is Albert.
0:28:51 > 0:28:58I don't wish to alarm you, but the judge is definitely not himself this morning.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00I'm terribly worried about it.
0:29:00 > 0:29:06..Oh, that'll be splendid. And do hurry, please. ..Thank you.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14- Hey, you! - DOOR OPENS
0:29:14 > 0:29:19- You!- Yes, sir.- Get me a ticket on the next plane to St Louis.- But...
0:29:19 > 0:29:24- You work here, do you?- For years. - Get it.- But your appointment, sir...
0:29:24 > 0:29:29I've got an appointment in St Louis which comes first.
0:29:29 > 0:29:34But plane reservations are hard to get, especially on such short notice.
0:29:34 > 0:29:39OK. Then call the airport and get me a plane all to myself. ..Come on!
0:29:41 > 0:29:43Hey, I'll need some dough.
0:29:43 > 0:29:50- Is there any around?- In the usual place, sir.- No double talk. Where's the dough?- In the safe, sir.
0:29:50 > 0:29:55- I don't see no safe. - If I seem to be baffled...
0:29:55 > 0:29:59- Shut up and do as I say! Where's the strongbox?- Behind the picture, sir.
0:29:59 > 0:30:05- There's a flock of pictures! - The one with the boat, sir.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12The button, sir.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Got any sandpaper?
0:30:35 > 0:30:39Have you forgotten the combination?
0:30:39 > 0:30:44I don't need no combination. This is duck soup.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47CLICK
0:31:21 > 0:31:26- Please, sir...- Hey, where's the nearest hock shop?
0:31:26 > 0:31:30You can't possibly leave town today, sir.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56Hello, Eddie.
0:31:59 > 0:32:02How'd you get here?
0:32:02 > 0:32:07- I never explain my actions.- Explain to me. I don't like no surprises.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11I'll have more surprises for you if you try to run out on me again.
0:32:11 > 0:32:17I ain't running out, just hopping over to take care of that rat.
0:32:17 > 0:32:21That rat can wait. Parker comes first.
0:32:21 > 0:32:27Besides, being up so high makes me uncomfortable. I'm much happier down below.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Scared, huh?
0:32:29 > 0:32:32I abhor altitudes.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34CLANKING AND WHIRRING
0:32:34 > 0:32:38- What's that?- Engine trouble, sir.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40We'll have to go back to the field.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43What a strange coincidence(!)
0:32:44 > 0:32:47Wipe that smile off your mug.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51I apologise most humbly.
0:32:55 > 0:33:00- Are you sure he said St Louis? - Yes, Miss Barbara.
0:33:00 > 0:33:04St Louis. St Louis! I can't imagine what could take him there,
0:33:04 > 0:33:09at a time like this, with a thousand things to do.
0:33:09 > 0:33:16- You should have done something, Albert - stopped him.- I tried to, but he pushed me and left.
0:33:16 > 0:33:21Ridiculous! The judge is gentility itself. He never pushed anybody.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25He never did any of the things he did this morning.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28From wakening, he acted peculiarly.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Go on.
0:33:30 > 0:33:35When I went to help him dress, he told me to scram.
0:33:35 > 0:33:41- The judge said scram?!- That was the very word he used, Miss Barbara.
0:33:41 > 0:33:46You're certain YOU weren't having hallucinations, Albert?
0:33:46 > 0:33:51I only wish that were true. It's been most disturbing.
0:33:51 > 0:33:57- I wasn't able to call Dr Higgins. - I'll call him now.- Yes, Miss.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07Hello. Dr Higgins, please.
0:34:07 > 0:34:12- This is Barbara Foster. ..Not a word to anybody, Albert.- Heavens, no.
0:34:12 > 0:34:18Hello, Matt? I missed Fred. ..No, he isn't here. He took a plane for St Louis.
0:34:18 > 0:34:21That's extraordinary.
0:34:21 > 0:34:25..Well, don't be unduly alarmed. It may be only a passing aberration.
0:34:25 > 0:34:30We'll see when he gets back. Let me know the moment he arrives.
0:34:30 > 0:34:37And let me warn you, Barbara - no matter how strangely he acts, don't antagonise him. Humour him.
0:34:37 > 0:34:42We're dealing with someone who's ill - perhaps very ill.
0:34:42 > 0:34:49- You understand, don't you, Barbara? The important thing is patience. - I understand, Matt. Goodbye.
0:34:51 > 0:34:56Well, Albert, we must be very patient with him.
0:34:56 > 0:34:58We will, Miss Barbara.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01BUZZER
0:35:03 > 0:35:07Remember, now - not a word to a soul.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11BUZZER
0:35:18 > 0:35:22- Your Honour! Did you, er...miss your plane?- Yeah.
0:35:22 > 0:35:26Albert, who is it?
0:35:29 > 0:35:32- The judge is back, Miss.- Darling!
0:35:32 > 0:35:36Oh, darling, I was so worried about you!
0:35:38 > 0:35:41Who's the dame?
0:35:41 > 0:35:46Your fiancee. The girlfriend... or rather the judge's.
0:35:46 > 0:35:51- Go ahead, Eddie - make the most of it. She's all yours.- Hey!
0:35:51 > 0:35:54This is OK!
0:35:57 > 0:36:04- It ain't only a trigger I can squeeze!- Darling! You've never talked like that before.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08- Why are you staring at me? - Just sizing you up.
0:36:08 > 0:36:11Not bad.
0:36:11 > 0:36:16Plenty of curves, and all in the right places. Come here, babe!
0:36:16 > 0:36:22- Please, darling!- Don't be afraid of me. How about stepping out tonight?
0:36:22 > 0:36:24It's been a long time.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27Please, Fred!
0:36:27 > 0:36:32- Fred?!- You're Fred.- Oh, that's the judge's handle?- Mm-hm.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35- Who are you talking to, dear?- Nick.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38Oh! Nick(!)
0:36:42 > 0:36:46- Beat it! Scram!- Yes, sir.
0:36:46 > 0:36:53- You never talk to Albert... - There's gonna be lots of things you ain't never seen the judge do!
0:36:53 > 0:36:57- Better get used to it. - Yes, dear. I'll try.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01- Please, Fred, you're hurting me! - Playing hard to get?
0:37:01 > 0:37:06- What's so funny? - Sorry, Eddie, sorry.
0:37:06 > 0:37:11- What's your name?- Oh, really, Fred! - What's your name?
0:37:11 > 0:37:15- You certainly know my name. - I wouldn't ask if I knowed.
0:37:15 > 0:37:22- I'll call you Rosie.- Rosie?!- Yeah. A little number I used to run around with, built just like you.
0:37:22 > 0:37:26Come on. Come on, relax!
0:37:26 > 0:37:32- I ain't such a bad guy.- Stop it, Fred.- Who are you yelling at?- You...
0:37:35 > 0:37:40- I'm sorry.- OK.- We'll be late.
0:37:40 > 0:37:47- I've got lots of time. - You're due at the auditorium to deliver your speech.- Come again?
0:37:47 > 0:37:54- Your speech, dear. It's getting late.- I do all my speeching with my rod.- I want you to make the speech.
0:37:54 > 0:38:00I'll be behind you, whispering in your ear. It's all part of the plan.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02I think you're planning too much.
0:38:02 > 0:38:07- On second thoughts, dear, maybe it would be best to postpone it.- Best?
0:38:07 > 0:38:12If I gotta make a speech, I'll make it. It'll smell, but it's OK.
0:38:12 > 0:38:19- Perhaps you'd better take a few days' rest. I'll call the campaign committee and explain.- What's wrong?
0:38:19 > 0:38:26- Think I can't do it?- I know you can, only...- Only what? I can do anything I put my mind on.- Of course.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30- Where do we go?- The auditorium. - Come on.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33We'll give it to 'em good!
0:38:33 > 0:38:36Come on, Nick.
0:38:36 > 0:38:41- Just who is Nick? - A con man I've tied in with.
0:38:44 > 0:38:49Boy, we ain't been forgot by Lady Luck like I thought!
0:38:49 > 0:38:54"Judge Parker collapsed on bench." Now, ain't that just too bad(?)
0:38:54 > 0:38:56Listen to this editorial.
0:38:56 > 0:39:03"Dare we leave the helm of our ship in the hands of a man whose physical condition is in question,
0:39:03 > 0:39:10"in this stormy period in our state?" Certainly not. And as patriotic citizens we gotta do something.
0:39:10 > 0:39:15Now, back in St Louis... We do it better here.
0:39:15 > 0:39:21We've got to see that the judge STAYS sick, or that he even gets worse.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23Sure, boss.
0:39:23 > 0:39:27Now we've got to deliver the KO. Yeah.
0:39:27 > 0:39:30Only to protect the people, mind you.
0:39:30 > 0:39:34With our boy, people can go about their business without worry.
0:39:34 > 0:39:38Without worry. That's right.
0:39:38 > 0:39:43He's speaking at the auditorium at two. That gives you plenty of time.
0:39:43 > 0:39:48One more cave-in like yesterday and our boy gets the governor's chair.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52PHONE RINGS Wait a minute. ..Hello?
0:39:52 > 0:39:59Hello, sweetheart. ..It's my wife. Go ahead. And I want to hear that the judge has taken a turn for the worse.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02We'll bring back his teeth. Come on.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10Hey! Imagine me running for governor!
0:40:10 > 0:40:15Darling, you're too modest. Come on, let's go on the stage.
0:40:15 > 0:40:19Wait a minute! I wanna case the joint first.
0:40:24 > 0:40:28Hey, look at that turnout!
0:40:28 > 0:40:30LAUGHTER
0:40:40 > 0:40:46What are you going backwards for? Stick close. You're giving me the words, remember!
0:40:46 > 0:40:50Oh! There is His Honour now! Excuse me.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53- Hey, where do I...?- Please, darling.
0:40:53 > 0:40:59- Well, Your Honour, we're all ready to start.- Where's Nick? - They're waiting.- Let 'em wait!
0:40:59 > 0:41:02Hey, where did he go?
0:41:02 > 0:41:07- Is someone with His Honour? I'm sure we could find him a seat.- Oh, fine.
0:41:07 > 0:41:10Please, darling, everyone's waiting.
0:41:10 > 0:41:14- I need Nick to help me with the words.- You have the speech.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17CHEERING
0:41:24 > 0:41:29Glad to see you, Judge. We were getting a little worried about you.
0:41:33 > 0:41:37Children, you're all ready? Now it's time - go ahead.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Your Honour.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46Stand up, dear.
0:41:48 > 0:41:55Your Honour, on behalf of all the boys and girls and members of the Parker clubs
0:41:55 > 0:41:59and in gratitude for all you have done for them...
0:41:59 > 0:42:05regardless of who they are... (And where they come from.)
0:42:05 > 0:42:10and where they come from, we want to present you with...
0:42:17 > 0:42:20I lost it.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24CHILDREN ALL CHATTER There it is!
0:42:24 > 0:42:26Gee!
0:42:27 > 0:42:30..this watch.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40- Thank the children, darling. - Thanks, kids.
0:42:40 > 0:42:44You're welcome, Your Honour.
0:42:59 > 0:43:06Fellow Americans, as the campaign for governor of this great state goes into its final phase,
0:43:06 > 0:43:13it is an honour to speak on behalf of the candidate for the Citizens' Better Government Committee,
0:43:13 > 0:43:16Judge Frederick Parker.
0:43:25 > 0:43:32The whole country knows of the famous Parker Youth Foundation created by our candidate ten years ago.
0:43:32 > 0:43:38This one organisation has reduced juvenile crimes 97%
0:43:38 > 0:43:41since it was founded.
0:43:49 > 0:43:58Judge Parker is a man who understands that juvenile delinquency is not a matter of bad boys and good boys,
0:43:58 > 0:44:03but rather a matter of bad conditions and good conditions.
0:44:03 > 0:44:08Revered and loved by his friends, respected and feared by his enemies,
0:44:08 > 0:44:12he is a man of countless virtues.
0:44:16 > 0:44:23Ladies and gentlemen, as we have just seen, one of Judge Parker's numerous virtues is his modesty.
0:44:23 > 0:44:29- What's the idea of letting me down? - I'm not letting you down. Far from it.- What about this?
0:44:29 > 0:44:34- Throw it away. Go out there and tell them off.- What'll I say?
0:44:34 > 0:44:39I don't have to tell YOU that. These people sent you to prison.
0:44:39 > 0:44:44Your enemies, the law and order brigade, hate you.
0:44:44 > 0:44:48Now's your chance to tell them what you think of them.
0:44:48 > 0:44:54- You're not afraid. - I ain't afraid of nothing. - Then go out and give it to them.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57- Call them by their right names. - Yeah.
0:44:57 > 0:45:05It is my privilege to introduce the next governor of this great state, Judge Frederick Parker.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08CHEERING
0:45:43 > 0:45:45Listen...
0:45:45 > 0:45:50all of you! I'm gonna tell you a few things.
0:46:00 > 0:46:01Hey, you!
0:46:08 > 0:46:09Jujitsu!
0:46:14 > 0:46:17Oh, no, you can't!
0:46:30 > 0:46:34- Stop it, Eddie. They're your friends.- You're crazy!
0:46:36 > 0:46:40- See that?- Take it, Eddie, take it.
0:46:47 > 0:46:52- It's not you they're after, it's the judge.- But I'M getting the punches!
0:46:52 > 0:46:58- You're making a hero of the judge. - Want them to make mincemeat of ME?
0:47:02 > 0:47:04Idiot!
0:47:04 > 0:47:07SIRENS WAIL Beat it!
0:47:07 > 0:47:10Get out of here! Get going!
0:47:10 > 0:47:15No, I won't need that now, Mr Kramer, thank you.
0:47:15 > 0:47:18Are you hurt very much, Your Honour?
0:47:18 > 0:47:23- No!- Are you sure you're all right, dear? Are you able to walk?- Sure.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Judge Your Honour, you're a champ!
0:47:25 > 0:47:30- May I kiss you? - The judge don't want girls' kisses!
0:47:30 > 0:47:34You go right ahead, dear, if you want to.
0:47:44 > 0:47:47Come on, babe.
0:47:49 > 0:47:55- Hey, where's Nick?- Oh, never mind Nick now, dear, please.- He was...
0:48:01 > 0:48:09- Albert, get me some antiseptic and bandages, quickly.- Yes, Miss. - Darling, you were magnificent.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11But you weren't cut out for that.
0:48:11 > 0:48:18- Do you know somebody who could have done it better?- No, dear. But I'm afraid you'll be ill.
0:48:18 > 0:48:25- I ain't never been sick in my life. - But, Fred...- I'm glad Nick ain't here!- Darling! What's come over you?
0:48:25 > 0:48:31What's this? Hey, take that junk out of here. And get me a drink.
0:48:31 > 0:48:36- Mineral water, sir? - I said a drink - bourbon.
0:48:36 > 0:48:40- But, Fred, you don't drink! - Just watch me! And some cigars.
0:48:40 > 0:48:45- But Fred, you can't smoke or drink - you know that.- Are you kidding?
0:48:45 > 0:48:49What are you standing there for? Get!
0:48:49 > 0:48:55- Darling, please. You'll only make yourself ill. - Stop worrying, Rosie!- Fred!
0:48:55 > 0:48:58Hey, how about some smooching, eh?
0:48:58 > 0:49:02Darling! You HAVE changed!
0:49:02 > 0:49:05Oh!
0:49:24 > 0:49:29- Want a shot?- I wish you wouldn't, dear. You've had enough excitement.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33I ain't started yet! ..Take a powder.
0:49:33 > 0:49:37Take a powder, sir?!
0:49:37 > 0:49:39Oh, you mean scram?
0:49:41 > 0:49:45- Here's luck, Rosie! - Be careful, dear.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48I can do this all day.
0:50:10 > 0:50:14That's funny! I never choked on this before.
0:50:33 > 0:50:38What kind of a body did that louse slip me anyhow?
0:50:38 > 0:50:43- I'd better help Albert put you to bed.- Hey, I ain't sleepy.
0:50:44 > 0:50:49- You feel good! - I've got to get home, dear.- Home?
0:50:49 > 0:50:54- Don't you live here?- You know perfectly well I don't live here!
0:50:54 > 0:50:58The judge must be screwy or something.
0:50:58 > 0:51:03- You ain't going home, Rosie!- I AM going home! The sooner the better.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06- Wait a minute! Hey!- Darling!
0:51:06 > 0:51:11- Oh, Fred, I told you! - That's all right. I'm all right.
0:51:11 > 0:51:15You don't have to worry about me! I'm...
0:51:15 > 0:51:17nothing in my way!
0:51:17 > 0:51:20I'll be fine.
0:51:21 > 0:51:25- Oh!- Miss Barbara, what happened?
0:51:25 > 0:51:28His Honour just passed out.
0:51:35 > 0:51:36Taxi!
0:51:53 > 0:51:55Hey! What's the idea?
0:51:55 > 0:52:00Get back in your cab. Don't get excited.
0:52:00 > 0:52:04- Come on. - No, Eddie, let's take this one.
0:52:08 > 0:52:10- Criminal Court, please.- Yes, ma'am.
0:52:17 > 0:52:22I have the sworn affidavits from those witnesses in Chicago.
0:52:22 > 0:52:28- What witnesses? What's this about? - Your pal has opened a couple of nightspots in Chicago.
0:52:28 > 0:52:34- You mean Smiley?- Who's Smiley? I don't see his name in the documents.
0:52:34 > 0:52:37When I'm finished, his name will be on a tombstone!
0:52:37 > 0:52:43- What has he to do with the Bentley trial?- I don't know Bentley... - The Bentley trial!
0:52:43 > 0:52:46The case you're hearing today!
0:52:46 > 0:52:50I'll be there. This gives you another go at Parker.
0:52:50 > 0:52:56- Make sure you don't bungle it this time.- I know all about trials! So do you, Bub.
0:52:56 > 0:53:04- Are you talking to the cab driver? - Eyes front! Do you want us to get killed?- Sorry, Your Honour.
0:53:04 > 0:53:10- I was talking to Dr Higgins, he said that...- Listen, Rosie, I'm handling it MY way.
0:53:10 > 0:53:13First comes Bentley, then that St Louis...
0:53:13 > 0:53:16- two-faced, double-crossing... - Really!
0:53:16 > 0:53:21I'll show you a few tricks - tricks you never even dreamed of.
0:53:21 > 0:53:28I'll go through with the trial, then we shoot out to St Louis.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30What will we do there, dear?
0:53:30 > 0:53:33Not you. Just us.
0:53:33 > 0:53:36Not me? Just "us"?
0:53:36 > 0:53:40You frighten me when you talk like this.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42This is between me and Smiley.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45We're going south together.
0:53:45 > 0:53:48On a vacation?
0:53:48 > 0:53:50To Florida?
0:53:50 > 0:53:54Further south... where it's a hundred times hotter!
0:54:03 > 0:54:06Boss, they was His Honour's own words!
0:54:06 > 0:54:10He said he was going to St Louis to get Smiley.
0:54:10 > 0:54:15That's dangerous talk for a judge to make. ..Sure you heard right?
0:54:15 > 0:54:16Positive?
0:54:16 > 0:54:20Yeah. He called him a double-crossing back-stabber.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23Nice work!
0:54:23 > 0:54:28Boys, we're in. The Honourable Judge has put himself outta the running.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32Your hunch was right. He not only LOOKS like Eddie,
0:54:32 > 0:54:38he's the most two-timing candidate that ever ran for office. He's worse than OUR man!
0:54:38 > 0:54:42Are you calling the judge? I'm calling Smiley.
0:54:42 > 0:54:47This looks like what they'd put on a guy what's giving a necktie party.
0:54:47 > 0:54:51- Tell me the rap on the Bentleys. - Attempted murder.
0:54:51 > 0:54:57Mrs Bentley and her husband tried to kill her father to collect his insurance.
0:54:57 > 0:55:03They pushed him in front of a subway train. He's alive, but somewhat mangled!
0:55:03 > 0:55:08The entire country's shocked. They fail to see any beauty in it.
0:55:08 > 0:55:10- What chance they got?- None.
0:55:10 > 0:55:15They wouldn't have spent so much trying to "square" things.
0:55:15 > 0:55:20- Did they try to get to Judge Parker? - Oh, no. They wouldn't do that.
0:55:20 > 0:55:23They know it's impossible to fix Judge Parker.
0:55:23 > 0:55:26But Eddie Kagle...
0:55:26 > 0:55:29Who's spreading the dough?
0:55:29 > 0:55:34- A man known as Big Harry. - What's his last name?
0:55:34 > 0:55:40- I want to call him and have him come here before the trial. - He's too smart.
0:55:40 > 0:55:42What'll I do?
0:55:42 > 0:55:46You just dial Spring 74242.
0:55:46 > 0:55:50I'll guide you. A little telepathic transmission.
0:55:50 > 0:55:54Always showing off with them big words!
0:55:54 > 0:56:00I used to dish out plenty of dough when I put in a fix. Now's my chance to get some back.
0:56:00 > 0:56:0525 grand ain't enough to fix a rap like what this is.
0:56:05 > 0:56:09- Why, it's...- Heinous. - It's heinous!
0:56:09 > 0:56:14- The whole country is aroused by it. - It's aroused the whole country.
0:56:14 > 0:56:21- As is the case of The People Versus Mitchell.- Like the case of The People Versus Mitchell.
0:56:21 > 0:56:29- They got 30 years. - You don't want the Bentleys to do a 30-year hitch, do you?
0:56:29 > 0:56:34No, Your Honour. Let me bring the Bentleys in.
0:56:34 > 0:56:38So you can have witnessses for the fix, huh?
0:56:38 > 0:56:45- No, Your Honour. I just want you to see them and have them say a word in their own...- Wait!
0:56:45 > 0:56:49Put the moolah on the desk first.
0:57:11 > 0:57:17Your Honour, this is Mr and Mrs Bentley. This whole affair was the result of a misunderstanding.
0:57:17 > 0:57:23< This fine, upstanding citizen... and this frail, law-abiding little lady...
0:57:23 > 0:57:28were simply victims of circumstance. As a result of which, Mrs Bentley
0:57:28 > 0:57:34has been under the constant care of her physician. She's lost weight,
0:57:34 > 0:57:37- she's been unable to...- Rosie!
0:57:44 > 0:57:46Rosie Morgan!
0:57:49 > 0:57:52It can't be! You was bumped!
0:57:52 > 0:57:57- You was bumped!- You didn't wait long to get hooked up with him, did you?
0:57:57 > 0:58:02- Your Honour!- Shut up!- Easy, Eddie! - You shut up, too!
0:58:02 > 0:58:08- All them trips to Kansas City to see your poor old mother! And you... - Your Honour!!
0:58:08 > 0:58:10So this was your mother, huh?
0:58:10 > 0:58:14Playing around with him all the time!
0:58:14 > 0:58:18I got you now. Wait till the trial starts.
0:58:18 > 0:58:21- I'll put you and him away for keeps. - SHE SCREAMS
0:58:21 > 0:58:24Your Honour, the court is ready.
0:58:24 > 0:58:30- Here! You can't fix this rap, not for all the dough in the country! - They tried to bribe YOU?!
0:58:30 > 0:58:37- Imagine!- Wait till I tell the Press. You're a synch to sit in the Governor's chair.
0:58:37 > 0:58:42- Hey, don't you never say "chair" to me!- Sorry, Your Honour.
0:58:42 > 0:58:44You fool!
0:58:44 > 0:58:47You unmitigated, abysmal fool.
0:58:51 > 0:58:55If you had a body, I'd tear it apart.
0:58:57 > 0:59:00Good thing you can do that trick!
0:59:03 > 0:59:09He's gotten worse. He's somebody I don't know any more. What's happened to Fred?
0:59:11 > 0:59:15It isn't as simple as diagnosing a case of measles.
0:59:16 > 0:59:18No, thank you.
0:59:18 > 0:59:23Could be a throwback to his formative years, the boyhood years.
0:59:23 > 0:59:25But what caused it?
0:59:25 > 0:59:29- Fear, probably.- Of what?
0:59:31 > 0:59:37Perhaps the high office he's running for. Afraid of the responsibilities it might mean.
0:59:38 > 0:59:41Afraid of loving a woman like you.
0:59:41 > 0:59:47- A woman like me?!- Yes. Barbara, I think Fred should withdraw from the campaign.
0:59:47 > 0:59:50- Are you serious?- Deadly serious.
0:59:50 > 0:59:54- But he's as good as elected right now.- I know.
0:59:54 > 0:59:59He'll be all right. He's GOT to be. He's GOT to be governor!
0:59:59 > 1:00:05- Judge's secretary to governor's wife. Not bad.- Why, Matt! I...
1:00:07 > 1:00:08Barbara...
1:00:08 > 1:00:14we've been friends for a long time. You're lovely. You're also ambitious.
1:00:14 > 1:00:17Yes, Matt. I am.
1:00:17 > 1:00:21I don't know much about neurotic conditions,
1:00:21 > 1:00:24but I DO know that Freddy MUST do what he's doing.
1:00:24 > 1:00:32Psychiatry won't give a lot of poor kids a chance to grow up like decent human beings. Fred Parker WILL.
1:00:32 > 1:00:38It won't wipe out the vicious elements in this world, but Governor Parker's influence will.
1:00:38 > 1:00:43- And I'm going to help him do it. - I'm sorry, Barbara.
1:00:43 > 1:00:46Guess I was mistaken. Forgive me?
1:00:46 > 1:00:53I'm sorry, too. Sorry that a man like Fred has to pay for this with his health. But...
1:00:54 > 1:01:00It may work out. His condition may pass as quickly as it came.
1:01:00 > 1:01:06But he must be handled with patience and understanding. It will be difficult for you.
1:01:06 > 1:01:13- Nothing's difficult where Fred's concerned.- Getting him away for a short while would help.- I'll try.
1:01:13 > 1:01:14Good.
1:01:14 > 1:01:17Still friends?
1:01:17 > 1:01:19Of course.
1:01:19 > 1:01:22Always. Goodbye, Matt.
1:01:33 > 1:01:35'Lovely, isn't she?
1:01:35 > 1:01:40- 'Go ahead, Eddie. Make the most of it. She's all yours.- Oh, yeah?
1:01:41 > 1:01:43'Nah!
1:01:43 > 1:01:46'This dame ain't like Rosie.'
1:01:47 > 1:01:51Why I sent for you so sudden is this, Smiley -
1:01:51 > 1:01:58you been negotiating to operate in the east, which is OK with me, on certain conditions, of course.
1:01:58 > 1:02:01I got conditions, too.
1:02:01 > 1:02:03< We won't argue about percentages.
1:02:03 > 1:02:07Thre's only one question - Eddie Kagle.
1:02:07 > 1:02:10What about him?
1:02:10 > 1:02:14Well, now that he's free again... Haven't you heard?
1:02:14 > 1:02:17Eddie ain't around any more. He ain't?
1:02:17 > 1:02:21He was bumped off.
1:02:22 > 1:02:27Well, what do you know? It means YOU'RE top dog now.
1:02:27 > 1:02:31Nobody else! And you're operating alone?
1:02:31 > 1:02:34You're learning fast(!)
1:02:34 > 1:02:39You wouldn't be holding out any important information? Such as?
1:02:39 > 1:02:46Silent partners. Someone way up in political circles who's maybe getting a cut?
1:02:46 > 1:02:49I operate strictly alone.
1:02:49 > 1:02:51We heard different.
1:02:51 > 1:02:54We heard it straight, Smiley.
1:02:54 > 1:02:57You're hearing it straight from ME.
1:02:57 > 1:03:00Yours truly. Smiley Williams.
1:03:00 > 1:03:02All right.
1:03:02 > 1:03:05If you say so.
1:03:05 > 1:03:10After all, if you ain't telling us the truth, somebody will get hurt.
1:03:10 > 1:03:14It's the other guy that gets hurt. Not me.
1:03:14 > 1:03:18Send him to the judge's house.
1:03:18 > 1:03:24- Just get them together. - I just had a thought. There's a guy you gotta see.
1:03:24 > 1:03:28< If he okays you, fine. Is he the juice?
1:03:28 > 1:03:32Yeah. I'll give you his name and address.
1:03:32 > 1:03:35< Better call on him right away.
1:03:35 > 1:03:38If he's not at home...
1:03:39 > 1:03:41..wait for him.
1:03:43 > 1:03:44"Judge"?!
1:03:46 > 1:03:48A judge, eh? Frederick Parker.
1:03:48 > 1:03:52Better get over there. Is he the juice?
1:03:52 > 1:03:55Running for governor, too. Surprised?
1:03:55 > 1:03:58Yeah. I thought you would be.
1:03:58 > 1:04:01Is he tough? You tell us.
1:04:01 > 1:04:04Bye, Smiley. So long.
1:04:08 > 1:04:12My children, my children, you'd be lost without me.
1:04:20 > 1:04:25The governor's mansion is all right. This is where we'll REALLY live.
1:04:26 > 1:04:29- Shall we go in?- In?
1:04:29 > 1:04:31- Where?- In our house, silly!
1:04:31 > 1:04:34Oh. ..Sure.
1:04:34 > 1:04:36Can't you just see it?
1:04:36 > 1:04:39Shining and beautiful!
1:04:39 > 1:04:42Remember the fun we had planning all this?
1:04:42 > 1:04:45Location... the rooms and the garden!
1:04:48 > 1:04:50Come on. Let's go up.
1:04:58 > 1:04:59Jump!
1:04:59 > 1:05:02Now we're on our porch!
1:05:02 > 1:05:05We'll spend a lot of time out here...
1:05:05 > 1:05:09after dinner in the evenings when it's quiet.
1:05:09 > 1:05:11Let's go inside.
1:05:11 > 1:05:14- Wait!- What's the matter?
1:05:14 > 1:05:17- We have to open the door.- Oh.
1:05:19 > 1:05:22Come in, dear. ..Now, then...
1:05:22 > 1:05:25Hey, you forgot to close the door.
1:05:25 > 1:05:30When we're married, I insist that you carry me across the threshold.
1:05:30 > 1:05:32When...
1:05:32 > 1:05:37- When we get married, eh? - Don't say it so gloomily!
1:05:37 > 1:05:40It won't be THAT bad! Now!
1:05:40 > 1:05:44Over here's your study. Your private, sacred room.
1:05:44 > 1:05:49There'll be pictures of the great men of law, literature and politics.
1:05:49 > 1:05:51Your library...
1:05:51 > 1:05:58- And a big lounging chair for you to read in.- Why would I want to read with YOU around?
1:05:58 > 1:06:02Fred! That's the nicest thing you've said to me!
1:06:02 > 1:06:07There are a lot of nice things I wanna say to you.
1:06:07 > 1:06:12- Say them in there. That's the most important room in the house. - The kitchen?
1:06:12 > 1:06:15No. The nursery.
1:06:21 > 1:06:23You mean...
1:06:24 > 1:06:27..you want to live here with me
1:06:27 > 1:06:30and have kids?
1:06:30 > 1:06:33- And sit on the porch?- Of course.
1:06:38 > 1:06:40Look at me.
1:06:42 > 1:06:44You mean, with ME?
1:06:44 > 1:06:47The way I am?
1:06:47 > 1:06:49What you see...
1:06:49 > 1:06:51and how I talk?
1:06:51 > 1:06:54I love you.
1:06:56 > 1:07:01- You see no difference? - No difference that matters.
1:07:04 > 1:07:06Imagine that.
1:07:06 > 1:07:10I could have had all this... been all this...
1:07:10 > 1:07:17People calling me Your Honour and smiling at me. Kids making a fuss over me...
1:07:17 > 1:07:22and me not having to hide from somebody all the time.
1:07:22 > 1:07:24And you...
1:07:24 > 1:07:28- I could have had YOU. - But you ARE all that. You have me.
1:07:31 > 1:07:33I... I ain't got nothing.
1:07:35 > 1:07:38I ain't even got my soul.
1:07:38 > 1:07:42Don't say those things. At least, not out here.
1:07:42 > 1:07:48You promised today would be OUR day. You promised to forget about court and the election.
1:07:52 > 1:07:56Please, darling. Let's just enjoy ourselves.
1:08:04 > 1:08:10Perhaps you would prefer to come back tomorrow. His Honour is unavoidably detained.
1:08:10 > 1:08:14I'll wait. < Yes, sir.
1:08:29 > 1:08:31- You happy, darling?- Yeah.
1:08:31 > 1:08:34- I'm scared, too.- Of what?
1:08:34 > 1:08:39I dunno. I never been scared of nothin' in all my life.
1:08:39 > 1:08:44- Dr Higgins said... - Ain't nothing a doctor knows about.
1:08:44 > 1:08:46Something I can't figure out myself.
1:08:46 > 1:08:53Maybe it's cos I found something I never had before, something I want to hold on to.
1:08:53 > 1:08:55A place like this...
1:08:55 > 1:08:58and a feeling of quiet inside me.
1:09:00 > 1:09:02A new slant on things.
1:09:06 > 1:09:12- I'm talking screwy!- No, you're not. It makes me so happy to hear you talk like that.
1:09:12 > 1:09:13Happy?
1:09:13 > 1:09:16That I'm beginning to find you again.
1:09:29 > 1:09:32Honey, I'm all mixed up. I...
1:09:40 > 1:09:43You see, I...I made a deal.
1:09:43 > 1:09:48How could I know that I'd meet up with you?
1:09:52 > 1:09:55I'd rather cut my arm off than hurt you.
1:10:08 > 1:10:10I gotta puzzle it out...
1:10:10 > 1:10:13just for a couple of minutes...
1:10:13 > 1:10:16- myself.- It's all right, darling.
1:11:05 > 1:11:07That was a very touching scene.
1:11:08 > 1:11:11What are you gumshoeing around for?
1:11:11 > 1:11:14I have some nice news for you.
1:11:14 > 1:11:20- Remember I promised that if you'd help me get Judge Parker, I'd help you get Smiley?- Mm.
1:11:20 > 1:11:25- I keep my word, even though some others don't.- I did all you asked.
1:11:25 > 1:11:30Instead of ruining Judge Parker, you made him more popular!
1:11:30 > 1:11:34The fight in the auditorium, refusing the bribe...
1:11:34 > 1:11:37now this fantastic billing and cooing(!)
1:11:37 > 1:11:40A guy can change, can't he?
1:11:40 > 1:11:43Not you, Eddie.
1:11:43 > 1:11:48It's too late for that. Besides, a halo isn't your particular dish.
1:11:48 > 1:11:51However, what I came to say is this -
1:11:51 > 1:11:54Smiley is in town.
1:11:56 > 1:11:59What's he doing here?
1:11:59 > 1:12:06He's come to extend his cafe business. He's going to open up this city - with your money.
1:12:06 > 1:12:08Money you went to jail for.
1:12:08 > 1:12:11The money he killed you for.
1:12:24 > 1:12:26I don't know.
1:12:28 > 1:12:31Getting the rat don't seem important no more.
1:12:32 > 1:12:37Oh, really, Eddie, you're going soft. You're getting yellow.
1:12:37 > 1:12:40Don't you never say that to me.
1:12:40 > 1:12:45- Then prove I'm wrong by carrying out your end of the bargain.- But I...
1:12:46 > 1:12:49I can't leave Rosie.
1:12:49 > 1:12:52I mean, Barbara.
1:12:52 > 1:12:57Smiley in town is not only a threat to you, but to Barbara, too.
1:12:59 > 1:13:01You mean...?
1:13:01 > 1:13:05You mean the girl is in danger with Smiley here?
1:13:05 > 1:13:11Figure it out. When he sees you, if you don't get him, HE'LL get YOU.
1:13:11 > 1:13:16Like he did before. With a smile on his face.
1:13:16 > 1:13:20And you know what that would mean to Judge Parker.
1:13:20 > 1:13:24To his body. And where would that leave Barbara?
1:13:24 > 1:13:27So, you see, either way...
1:13:27 > 1:13:30for her sake...
1:13:30 > 1:13:36for the sake of any little children she may have... you've got to KILL him.
1:13:36 > 1:13:40You got a way of putting things that makes sense.
1:13:40 > 1:13:46Inside me, I know that I shouldn't follow your advice, but it's like you say...
1:13:46 > 1:13:49I'd only be doing Barbara a favour.
1:13:50 > 1:13:52Protecting her...
1:13:52 > 1:13:55and her kids.
1:13:55 > 1:13:58OUR kids, might have been.
1:13:58 > 1:14:02Now you're beginning to see straight.
1:14:02 > 1:14:04And think clearly.
1:14:04 > 1:14:07Shall we go?
1:14:09 > 1:14:12I gotta tell Barbara first.
1:14:17 > 1:14:24Honey, I gotta tell you something. Something very important. I gotta use your car.
1:14:24 > 1:14:26My car?
1:14:29 > 1:14:33- I guess it's all right, dear, if you want to.- Thanks.
1:14:35 > 1:14:38I won't be long.
1:14:41 > 1:14:43Look, honey...
1:14:44 > 1:14:47Straighten me out on something.
1:14:47 > 1:14:52- I'll try.- If we was already married and living in this house...
1:14:52 > 1:14:54and had kids...
1:14:54 > 1:15:02and one day, a big rat came out of his hole and went for the kids' throats, what would you do?
1:15:02 > 1:15:07- There'd be nothing to do but destroy it.- You mean, kill it?
1:15:09 > 1:15:11Well...yes.
1:15:11 > 1:15:13Thanks.
1:15:13 > 1:15:16Thanks for straightening me out.
1:15:25 > 1:15:27Wait!
1:15:32 > 1:15:34"Kill"!
1:15:35 > 1:15:36KILL!
1:15:49 > 1:15:51What a beautiful day.
1:15:53 > 1:15:56I couldn't ask for more delightful weather.
1:15:56 > 1:15:59Take that grin off your face.
1:15:59 > 1:16:06Please permit me the privilege of expressing my happier frame of mind with a few facial wrinkles!
1:16:06 > 1:16:08Relieves the tension!
1:16:08 > 1:16:15- Lucky I don't put some wrinkles on you that'll stay for keeps. - SIREN BLARES
1:16:26 > 1:16:31What's the matter? I wasn't speeding.
1:16:31 > 1:16:35I didn't say you was. Let me see your licence.
1:16:38 > 1:16:40Must have left it in my other suit.
1:16:40 > 1:16:45In this State, that ain't good. How about your owner's licence?
1:16:45 > 1:16:52Tell them it's your fiancee's car. Tell them you borrowed it to go to a campaign meeting.
1:16:52 > 1:16:55Don't you know me? Judge Parker.
1:16:55 > 1:17:01I'm running for governor. I'm making a speech at a political shindig tonight.
1:17:01 > 1:17:04This is my fiancee's car. I borrowed it.
1:17:04 > 1:17:07- What's her name?- Barbara Foster.
1:17:07 > 1:17:14That's interesting! A girl by that name phoned the police to report her car stolen.
1:17:14 > 1:17:19The licence number of the car is identical to this one.
1:17:21 > 1:17:27- You're making a mistake. - That's what they all say. Explain it down the station.
1:17:40 > 1:17:45You know, this should convince you that I am the only friend you have.
1:17:45 > 1:17:52- First, your pal Smiley double-crosses you, now this girl. - She had nothing to do with it!
1:17:52 > 1:17:59- She knew you were out to kill, which meant you wouldn't be governor and she wouldn't be governor's wife!- No!
1:17:59 > 1:18:05Mankind has been beset by women since Adam, and Barbara is the true offshoot of Eve!
1:18:05 > 1:18:12- You're batty!- I am the only person you can trust.- No further than I can throw this building!
1:18:12 > 1:18:15- Stop talking!- Now, listen!- STOP!
1:18:15 > 1:18:20What's with you? Who are you talking to?
1:18:20 > 1:18:22Nobody. I...eh...
1:18:22 > 1:18:26I'm just rehearsing my speech.
1:18:26 > 1:18:30Come into the other room. The owner of the car is here.
1:18:32 > 1:18:34Barbara!
1:18:34 > 1:18:38- Tell this copper who I am. - I beg your pardon?
1:18:38 > 1:18:42- What's this? - Do you know this man?
1:18:42 > 1:18:46I've never seen him before in my life.
1:18:53 > 1:18:57Barbara, please. Don't do this to me.
1:18:57 > 1:19:01- You have to file a complaint. - All right.- Wait!
1:19:01 > 1:19:06Let me talk to you. Alone. Just for a few minutes.
1:19:06 > 1:19:09This may mean everything to you.
1:19:09 > 1:19:11To...to your future.
1:19:11 > 1:19:13Please.
1:19:20 > 1:19:21Barbara...
1:19:21 > 1:19:27there are things I can't tell you cos you won't believe it.
1:19:27 > 1:19:29But you gotta believe THIS.
1:19:29 > 1:19:32For the first time I can remember,
1:19:32 > 1:19:39I'm trying to do something for somebody else without caring what happens to me. I was changing.
1:19:39 > 1:19:43You've done it. Don't spoil it now.
1:19:43 > 1:19:46Don't let me down.
1:19:46 > 1:19:48For your own sake.
1:19:50 > 1:19:52For the sake of them kids...
1:19:52 > 1:19:57who're gonna sleep in that nursery you were talking about.
1:19:59 > 1:20:03Fred, you said something about making a deal.
1:20:03 > 1:20:08All right, I want you to make a deal with me.
1:20:08 > 1:20:12I'll get you out of here if you go with me to a minister
1:20:12 > 1:20:15and marry me right now.
1:20:15 > 1:20:17But I can't, I...
1:20:17 > 1:20:23Take her up, Eddie, and you can finish what you started out to do.
1:20:23 > 1:20:25All right.
1:20:26 > 1:20:28I'll marry you.
1:20:41 > 1:20:46- Nick, you're going in the wrong direction.- It's the right direction.
1:20:56 > 1:21:04And he said in another place, "If anyone offend one of the weak who believe in me, it were better..."
1:21:04 > 1:21:06KNOCK ON DOOR
1:21:11 > 1:21:14Where did I leave off, Agatha?
1:21:14 > 1:21:17"It were better." What were better?
1:21:17 > 1:21:24"If anyone offend." "If anyone offend one of the weak who believe in me, it were better..."
1:21:24 > 1:21:27- Well?- We wanna get married.
1:21:27 > 1:21:29Why?
1:21:32 > 1:21:39Too many people get married without asking themselves why. ..There's an idea. Make a note of it for a sermon.
1:21:39 > 1:21:41Yes, dear.
1:21:41 > 1:21:45My husband is preparing his sermon. Please, sit down.
1:21:45 > 1:21:50"If anyone offend one of the weak who believe in me, it were better for him
1:21:50 > 1:21:56"that a millstone were hung about his neck and he were cast into the sea."
1:21:56 > 1:22:03"If thy hand offend thee, cut it off. It is better to enter life maimed than to go into the Gehenna
1:22:03 > 1:22:07- "of inextinguishable fire." - You never said it better.
1:22:07 > 1:22:12Expressions of approval should be confined to "Amen", please.
1:22:12 > 1:22:19"For it is written that everyone shall be burned with fire and every victim salted with salt.
1:22:19 > 1:22:26"When the devil speaks to you, heed him not, for his only desire is to lead you below. He is the evil one.
1:22:26 > 1:22:33- "Watch for him. No matter what name he uses - Lucifer, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles..."- Hey!
1:22:34 > 1:22:37I know him.
1:22:38 > 1:22:41- Where was I, Agatha? - Mephistopheles.
1:22:41 > 1:22:46Oh, yes. "Heed not Mephistopheles, lest you suffer eternal damnation.
1:22:46 > 1:22:53"When he whispers in your ear, turn away your head and harken instead to the angel on your shoulder."
1:22:53 > 1:22:58But if he ain't got no angel on his shoulder...
1:22:58 > 1:23:02You have if you live right, son. Be good, do good.
1:23:02 > 1:23:06The devil wields no power over a good man.
1:23:08 > 1:23:13- Sit tight, honey, I'm coming right back.- Where are you going?
1:23:13 > 1:23:15To tell off the devil.
1:23:15 > 1:23:20Good for you, son. The altar's to your left as you enter the church.
1:23:24 > 1:23:29- Well, Eddie?- I just come out to tell you something.
1:23:29 > 1:23:34There's a smart operator in there, what knows all the answers.
1:23:34 > 1:23:38- You don't say.- Mm-hm. He even knows who you are.
1:23:38 > 1:23:41Do YOU know?
1:23:42 > 1:23:45Yeah, Nick, I know.
1:23:45 > 1:23:49I'll have to take you back, Eddie, you know too much.
1:23:49 > 1:23:55The dope I got said you can't get the drop on a good man.
1:23:55 > 1:23:59- That hardly covers you. - My record's clean, this trip.
1:23:59 > 1:24:04I ain't done nothing wrong since you brought me back.
1:24:06 > 1:24:10Well, Eddie, I've only the kindliest feelings towards you.
1:24:10 > 1:24:17And to prove it, I want you to go right back in there. Marry Barbara. And my blessings on both of you.
1:24:17 > 1:24:21We don't want no blessings from you.
1:24:21 > 1:24:24I'm THROUGH with you.
1:24:29 > 1:24:31Beezel-bub!
1:24:37 > 1:24:42And is not to be entered into lightly, but reverently,
1:24:42 > 1:24:47discreetly, advisedly, soberly and in the fear of God.
1:24:47 > 1:24:52Unto this holy estate, these two persons come now to be joined.
1:24:52 > 1:24:59If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak
1:24:59 > 1:25:02or else hereafter forever hold his peace.
1:25:02 > 1:25:09- I require and charge you both... - Wait a minute.- Please, dear. - You brought up something important.
1:25:10 > 1:25:14Honey, I gotta speak now, like he says.
1:25:14 > 1:25:17I can't marry you.
1:25:17 > 1:25:20I'd be doin' wrong.
1:25:20 > 1:25:25- And that's just what the devil is waiting for.- Oh, dear Lord!
1:25:27 > 1:25:34Fred, you don't know how hard I've been trying to help you, but I can't go much further.
1:25:34 > 1:25:40You're not only destroying yourself, you're destroying me. I can't stand it any longer. Please, go on!
1:25:40 > 1:25:47Honey, I can't. My eyes have been opened. Marrying you is the worst thing I could do.
1:25:47 > 1:25:53Which don't mean that you lost Fred Parker. You've found him again.
1:25:53 > 1:25:56And you'll be proud of him.
1:25:56 > 1:25:59Like you always was.
1:26:02 > 1:26:05Honey, if I could only make you understand.
1:26:22 > 1:26:25I think I DO understand, darling.
1:26:27 > 1:26:30Come, I'll drive you home.
1:26:34 > 1:26:37Please forgive us.
1:26:49 > 1:26:50Eddie.
1:26:50 > 1:26:53You have a visitor.
1:26:56 > 1:27:03You might like to know that in his breast pocket, he's carrying the gun with which he snuffed you out.
1:27:03 > 1:27:08He's been carrying it around ever since. It brings him luck, he says.
1:27:08 > 1:27:13You can now repay that long-overdue debt with your own gun.
1:27:13 > 1:27:16That's what's known as poetic justice.
1:27:43 > 1:27:52'Heed not Mephistopheles, children, lest you suffer eternal damnation when he whispers in your ear.
1:27:52 > 1:27:58'Turn away your head and harken instead to the angel on your shoulder.'
1:28:16 > 1:28:19You're right, Mephipopolis
1:28:19 > 1:28:21or Nick for short.
1:28:21 > 1:28:26But I ain't never plugged no guy what's asleep.
1:28:26 > 1:28:28I'll wake him first.
1:28:28 > 1:28:33It's simpler this way. I made him drowsy to make it easier for you.
1:28:35 > 1:28:37You make everything easy, don't you?
1:28:37 > 1:28:42All right, have it your way. Wake him up.
1:28:42 > 1:28:45It might be more amusing.
1:28:45 > 1:28:48I'll go fix him a drink.
1:28:48 > 1:28:51Make it feel like old times.
1:29:01 > 1:29:03Smiley.
1:29:04 > 1:29:06Smiley!
1:29:06 > 1:29:09- Huh? Who called me?- I did.
1:29:09 > 1:29:12Oh, Judge Parker.
1:29:13 > 1:29:16I'm fixing a couple of drinks.
1:29:16 > 1:29:19What's on your mind?
1:29:19 > 1:29:24- Well, I'm operating in St Louis and other spots.- Uh-huh.
1:29:24 > 1:29:29And I'm interested in a couple of joints here in the east.
1:29:29 > 1:29:33- Bellamy steered me to you about getting a passport.- Sure, sure.
1:29:33 > 1:29:39- I understand.- So, as it's my nature to come to the point pronto,
1:29:39 > 1:29:41what's your cut?
1:29:41 > 1:29:45100 grand and 25% of the takings.
1:29:47 > 1:29:52Hold on, Judge. I may be from St Louis, but I ain't no hick.
1:29:54 > 1:29:59Are you operating alone? No partners?
1:29:59 > 1:30:01All alone.
1:30:01 > 1:30:06- I heard Eddie Kagel was heading your outfit.- Yeah, but he's dead.
1:30:06 > 1:30:11- Are you sure?- Well, I oughta know, cos I, er...- Cos you what?
1:30:11 > 1:30:18- I got the flash, soon as the cops found his body. - I heard he was your pal.
1:30:18 > 1:30:24Yeah, we grew up together. I'd do his thinking and he did my fighting.
1:30:24 > 1:30:29So you paid him off by putting four slugs in him from his own rod?
1:30:29 > 1:30:34What kinda talk is that? Are you after blackmail?
1:30:34 > 1:30:39- This is Smiley Williams you're talking to.- Who should know...
1:30:40 > 1:30:43..better than me?
1:30:45 > 1:30:46You?
1:30:46 > 1:30:50- You...- Why are you so nervous?
1:30:50 > 1:30:53You look like you seen a ghost.
1:30:53 > 1:30:57- Eddie, get on with it. - Shut up, Memipopolis.
1:30:57 > 1:31:00My name is Smiley Williams.
1:31:00 > 1:31:05Pleased to meet you. They call me Judge Parker.
1:31:05 > 1:31:08Or maybe I ain't Judge Parker.
1:31:09 > 1:31:12Maybe I'm somebody else.
1:31:12 > 1:31:14Somebody you know.
1:31:16 > 1:31:17No!
1:31:17 > 1:31:20No, you can't be him!
1:31:21 > 1:31:23Him? Who's "him"?
1:31:23 > 1:31:27Eddie. Eddie Kagel.
1:31:27 > 1:31:32- You can't be. This whole thing is screwy.- Maybe it ain't screwy.
1:31:32 > 1:31:38Start figuring it out. If I ain't Judge Parker, I must be someone else. Maybe your pal, Eddie Kagel,
1:31:38 > 1:31:46the one you chopped down with his own rod. Figure it when you're afraid of every sound and shadow,
1:31:46 > 1:31:49every car that whizzes by.
1:31:49 > 1:31:56Hole up in your hideout and go slowly nuts trying to figure, "Is Eddie Kagel dead...or alive?"
1:31:56 > 1:32:02And then when you can't take it no more, go blow your brains out.
1:32:05 > 1:32:09There it is, your own gun. Return the compliment, Eddie.
1:32:09 > 1:32:13Stop whispering in my ear, Devil.
1:32:13 > 1:32:17Lay off me, will you, Judge? I'll do anything you say.
1:32:21 > 1:32:22Eddie!
1:32:22 > 1:32:26Eddie! Give me a chance!
1:32:31 > 1:32:34You didn't shoot him.
1:32:34 > 1:32:37We had a bargain.
1:32:37 > 1:32:40He was took care of a better way.
1:32:40 > 1:32:42And I never even touched him.
1:32:42 > 1:32:48Now you go back to your hole in the ground. You're in my way.
1:32:48 > 1:32:53- I cannot go back without you.- Well, ain't that too bad?- Listen, Eddie.
1:32:53 > 1:33:00No soul has ever escaped from my domain before. I've got to get you back or I'll be jeered and derided.
1:33:00 > 1:33:03The upheaval would be cataclysmic!
1:33:03 > 1:33:08What a laugh! Looks like you got yourself behind the eight ball.
1:33:08 > 1:33:11Eddie, please! Have a heart.
1:33:11 > 1:33:18We'll have to take it up with the Boss. I'm getting my orders from him...from now on.
1:33:22 > 1:33:25Must I run afoul of you again?
1:33:25 > 1:33:29Am I doomed forever to be vanquished?
1:33:29 > 1:33:37What has this subhuman creature, incubated in the depths of foulness, done to become your favoured?
1:33:37 > 1:33:41It was with evil intent that he ventured forth.
1:33:41 > 1:33:46He volunteered to do my bidding. Must I be humiliated by this maggot?
1:33:46 > 1:33:50- I demand my rights. - You're missing the point, chum -
1:33:52 > 1:33:59There's an hombre, Judge Parker, and a sweet girl named Barbara what's played good ball with a lot of kids,
1:33:59 > 1:34:07who might otherwise join your team. And Eddie Kagel is staying around to see you don't mess things up.
1:34:09 > 1:34:14While you're in the judge's body, neither you nor he can do anything.
1:34:14 > 1:34:21What's more, you're making Barbara very unhappy. The longer you remain on earth,
1:34:21 > 1:34:28- the longer she cannot be joined with her rightful mate.- YOU got me in. - You were evil. I had power over you.
1:34:30 > 1:34:32I get it.
1:34:37 > 1:34:42If I don't myself help you take me out of Parker's body,
1:34:42 > 1:34:47Barbara and the judge don't get together like they should.
1:34:51 > 1:34:54All right, I'll make you a deal.
1:34:54 > 1:34:59If you lay off the judge and Barbara for life...I'll go back with you.
1:35:02 > 1:35:06I accept. I have to. Are you ready?
1:35:09 > 1:35:13Wait. I wanna say goodbye to Barbara first.
1:35:13 > 1:35:16- I cannot wait. - You'll wait and like it.
1:35:24 > 1:35:27Hello. Barbara?
1:35:27 > 1:35:30I gotta see you right away.
1:35:30 > 1:35:33Hop in your car and come right over.
1:35:34 > 1:35:36Yeah.
1:35:37 > 1:35:39Thanks, honey.
1:35:55 > 1:36:00You sure are something for the eyes in that outfit, honey.
1:36:00 > 1:36:05Thank you, darling. I want to look my best. You said dinner and a show.
1:36:05 > 1:36:10I'm... I'm afraid that's off.
1:36:10 > 1:36:12Cos...
1:36:12 > 1:36:15Cos I'm going away.
1:36:15 > 1:36:18I ain't never coming back.
1:36:18 > 1:36:21What do you mean?
1:36:21 > 1:36:28- Why would you be going away?- Well, I can't tell you, cos I'm afraid you won't understand, baby.
1:36:28 > 1:36:33- I only understand that wherever you go, I wanna go with you.- Nix.
1:36:33 > 1:36:36You don't belong where I'm going.
1:36:36 > 1:36:37Oh, no!
1:36:39 > 1:36:41Eddie.
1:36:43 > 1:36:48I got everything set for you, honey, so you won't have no more trouble.
1:36:48 > 1:36:54When I'm gone, the judge can straighten everything out.
1:36:55 > 1:37:01You and him get married and go live in that swell house.
1:37:03 > 1:37:05And have kids.
1:37:05 > 1:37:07Eddie.
1:37:11 > 1:37:14- I have to be going now, honey. - Please.
1:37:14 > 1:37:18- Don't say those things, darling. - No, no.
1:37:18 > 1:37:22I... I feel kinda funny.
1:37:22 > 1:37:24Kinda dizzy.
1:37:24 > 1:37:28- Darling, go and lie down for a minute.- Yeah, I'll lay down.
1:37:31 > 1:37:34I just wanted to tell you...
1:37:34 > 1:37:35Eddie!
1:38:03 > 1:38:05Goodbye, honey.
1:39:03 > 1:39:07Dr Higgins, please.
1:39:07 > 1:39:10Do you know where he is?
1:39:10 > 1:39:15Please reach him and tell him to come to Judge Parker's immediately.
1:39:15 > 1:39:18It's very urgent.
1:39:21 > 1:39:23Barbara.
1:39:24 > 1:39:26Barbara!
1:39:33 > 1:39:38You have tears in your eyes. What's the matter?
1:39:38 > 1:39:42Nothing. Nothing. Everything's fine now.
1:39:47 > 1:39:50Well, so long.
1:39:55 > 1:40:00Funny, I never thought people's faces looked so good.
1:40:00 > 1:40:05There's lots of other things I never noticed before.
1:40:05 > 1:40:09If I'd only knowed the first trip round what I know now.
1:40:09 > 1:40:16When I get you down below, I'm going to take special pains with you - agonies undreamed of.
1:40:16 > 1:40:20- I don't think you'll be so tough. - No?- Nah!
1:40:20 > 1:40:24You know why? Cos you made a sap of yourself.
1:40:24 > 1:40:28You don't want your boys to know that.
1:40:28 > 1:40:33No big shot wants to look like a sucker before his own mob.
1:40:33 > 1:40:37Now, if I was made a trustee...
1:40:37 > 1:40:40This is sheer, unblushing blackmail!
1:40:40 > 1:40:43You oughta know, brother.
1:40:43 > 1:40:45You oughta know.
1:40:52 > 1:40:56Subtitles by Subtitling Unit BBC Scotland - 2001