Anything but Christmas

0:00:42 > 0:00:45- This time you're going to lose. - You think?- Are you ready?

0:00:45 > 0:00:47Get set.

0:00:47 > 0:00:50Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

0:00:50 > 0:00:54Aargh! Aargh! Aargh!

0:00:54 > 0:00:56You again. Every time. You win. I unload.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58It's OK. I'll help.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01- It's getting cold.- Yeah.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Do you think it's going to snow for Christmas?

0:01:04 > 0:01:08Er, yeah, I don't know. I'll get that later.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10- Are you going to dress up as Santa? - NO!

0:01:10 > 0:01:13I mean, I'm not so good at...

0:01:13 > 0:01:17Dad always used to. He used to love Christmas, but not as much as Mom.

0:01:18 > 0:01:19Huh.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27- Not fair. I can't grab you. - I just want you for your groceries.

0:01:27 > 0:01:30- Mom's crazy about Christmas. - Hey! You know the deal.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32We don't talk about it until December.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35- On the counter, please. - Me or the groceries?

0:01:35 > 0:01:37It's December tomorrow and then just 25 days.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39- Can John be Santa?- No way!

0:01:39 > 0:01:43- I mean, that is just like so dumb. - Playing Santa's dumb?

0:01:43 > 0:01:45I didn't say that. I just...

0:01:45 > 0:01:47I got more stuff to get.

0:01:50 > 0:01:51Did I say the wrong thing?

0:01:51 > 0:01:53I told him that Dad used to dress up as Santa.

0:01:53 > 0:01:57No, honey, talking about your dad is never wrong.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59John is just, he's a writer.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01He's got all these things buzzing around in his head.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04- That's why he falls down a lot. - And drops stuff.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07- And trips over the front step. - No, he just does that to let me win.

0:02:07 > 0:02:08Oh, you think so, huh?

0:02:16 > 0:02:22Jacket. Yeah, so he's in, huh?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24We have decided that you would look good as Santa.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Nobody looks good as Santa.

0:02:26 > 0:02:30Grown men dressed in red coats and white fluff and stupid boots

0:02:30 > 0:02:31and that ridiculous hat.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34I mean, what's attractive about a bright red nose?

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Why do we do it year after year and it's everywhere, like,

0:02:37 > 0:02:38on every street corner?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41It's like a plague of fat red men with rosacea.

0:02:43 > 0:02:45THEY LAUGH

0:02:45 > 0:02:48- You're funny.- Yeah.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Oh, hey, I put a surprise in the closet for Zach,

0:02:51 > 0:02:53and be careful how you joke about Christmas.

0:02:53 > 0:02:57- We take it seriously.- Why?- Why?!

0:02:57 > 0:03:00Because it's like the biggest thing that happened when I was a kid.

0:03:00 > 0:03:04- Wasn't it for you? - Yeah, it was...big.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08And I also like to make it extra specially huge for Zach, you know.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11- Make up for... - For his dad not being here.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Yeah.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17But you're going to be here

0:03:17 > 0:03:19and that makes me very happy.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22- I love you.- Good.

0:03:27 > 0:03:31- Hey.- OK, John's first Christmas. Do you think he'll fit in?

0:03:31 > 0:03:36- Sure, but we're not supposed to talk about it.- Oh, that's right, my bad.

0:03:36 > 0:03:39Until tomorrow, when we can.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41Oh, yeah, because it'll be December,

0:03:41 > 0:03:44the month of you-know-what.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Uh-huh, yeah, funky chicken.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Oh! Yeah, good times.

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Woo-hoo! Yeah. Oh... Right...

0:03:59 > 0:04:02'HO! HO! HO! Merry Christmas!'

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Oh! Oh...

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Morning, Faith. How are you?

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Yeah, the apartment is a nightmare.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32The kids upstairs, the home improvement downstairs.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33I have complained repeatedly.

0:04:33 > 0:04:37It's actually a wonder that I get any sleep at all. Can you take that?

0:04:37 > 0:04:42- Take that away, no! I'm allergic. - To what? Christmas?- Yeah.

0:04:42 > 0:04:47- No, er, tinsel. That attracts dust. - Right, OK, yeah. OK.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Oh!- Ah.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- That is really... - What is the matter with you?

0:04:53 > 0:04:56This is for the top of the tree. Grace is going to love this. It's...

0:04:56 > 0:05:00- Is that coffee? Is there coffee on? - Is that really a good idea?

0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Are you being judgmental? - OK, I'll get you some coffee.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Oh, no, you won't because you don't know how I take it.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07Nobody actually understands how I take it.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09It's the same old problem which is why I'm now going to have

0:05:09 > 0:05:12to stop what I'm doing and go and get it myself.

0:05:12 > 0:05:16- OK, OK, calm down. - Nobody tells me to calm down!

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Bad day, huh?

0:05:19 > 0:05:23- You're really going to pretend to be interested in my day?- Faith, I try.

0:05:23 > 0:05:28- Well, why bother?- Because I love your sister.- Is that official?

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Are you part of the furniture now? Because if you are, you should

0:05:31 > 0:05:37probably know that we always have the perfect family Christmas.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39It's a madhouse.

0:05:39 > 0:05:42She invites anybody, waifs, strays, the broke, the homeless,

0:05:42 > 0:05:45complete strangers, total losers.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48She really makes such a big deal out of it.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51- Yeah, I wanted to ask you about that.- Yeah.- Like, how...

0:05:51 > 0:05:54Aunt Faith. Charlie Smythe is here.

0:05:54 > 0:05:58Oh, no. No, no-no, no-no. I cannot stand that man.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01You're actually an improvement on that man.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Zach, honey, can you tell your mother that I say hello

0:06:04 > 0:06:06and ask her to give me my blue jacket back?

0:06:06 > 0:06:09She's always taking my things and I'm never getting them back

0:06:09 > 0:06:11and it's really annoying.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13SHE TAILS OFF

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Faith, darling!

0:06:25 > 0:06:28Oh, I've got to go, Charlie. Oh, next time.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Oh, that's a shame.- Never.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35- Zachary, dear boy, where is your lovely mother?- I'll go get her.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40So, er...

0:06:40 > 0:06:42- John, isn't it?- Hmm.

0:06:42 > 0:06:47- Where are you living now?- I've been living here for three months.

0:06:47 > 0:06:51- Why does that always surprise you? - Yes, yes, yes, of course.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54And how's business? Journalist, aren't you?

0:06:54 > 0:06:59- A novelist, and, no, I'm not published.- Oh, I see.- Yes.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03Gracey-pacey, pudding-and-pie, you look good enough to eat.

0:07:03 > 0:07:08- Ah, it's the coat. Faith was here. She's looking for it.- I know. I hid.

0:07:08 > 0:07:12Well, it makes you look very sexy. Doesn't it, Zach?

0:07:12 > 0:07:14Charlie, it is so good to see you

0:07:14 > 0:07:16but we're actually getting ready to leave.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20Just popped in to tell you I have a load of Christmas trees.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Saving the biggest one for you, just like always.

0:07:22 > 0:07:26So sweet, Charlie, but the tree is actually John's department now

0:07:26 > 0:07:28and he has already chosen one.

0:07:28 > 0:07:32I have? Yes, I have and it's... it's a really big one.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35That's a shame. I have a whole plantation.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38Just bought a few more acres of woodland for the estate.

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Can I ask, Charlie, are you rich or very rich?

0:07:41 > 0:07:45Stinking rich, actually. Inherited most of it, but you know how it is.

0:07:45 > 0:07:49You get money, you have money, you have money, you get money.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52You get the girls too. They love all that.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54I got the girl and my tree, it's big enough...

0:07:54 > 0:07:58Charlie, you know, we really are in a rush so...

0:07:58 > 0:08:02Oh, right-o, but Gracie-pie, you simply must come by for tea.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06Juliet is redecorating the guest wing. She needs your advice.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10- I would love to, Charlie. OK, bye.- Cheerio!

0:08:12 > 0:08:14Oh!

0:08:14 > 0:08:17- Is that a wig? - I never got close enough to find out.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19- So, did you really get a tree? - Of course not.

0:08:19 > 0:08:22Ah, well, you'd better hurry or I might just have to get Charlie's.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24- MIMICS CHARLIE:- Yes, Gracie-pie.

0:08:24 > 0:08:30- I got to ask, that guy, I mean, how did you...- Oh, I know, yes.

0:08:30 > 0:08:34Um, it was a year after Jose died and I needed a break

0:08:34 > 0:08:37so he took Zach and I on a vacation.

0:08:37 > 0:08:40I actually could have been his third wife.

0:08:40 > 0:08:43- You would have been stinking rich. - Especially after the divorce.

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Yeah, Charlie's a hopeless case.

0:08:45 > 0:08:50He'll never find the right woman. So, are you ready?

0:08:50 > 0:08:54- We really are going somewhere. - Where?- Well...

0:08:57 > 0:09:02- ..it is the 30th and we thought you might want to join us.- Oh.

0:09:15 > 0:09:19- Grandma!- Zachary, come give me a hug.

0:09:20 > 0:09:24- You brought him. - Good afternoon, Mrs Rodriguez.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28- Is that all right?- Of course.

0:09:28 > 0:09:34- Good afternoon, Mr Brooking. Zachary, why don't you show him?- OK.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Come on.

0:09:36 > 0:09:38Is this a good idea?

0:09:38 > 0:09:41It was Zachary's idea, which makes it a good one.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44Do you really not like him or do you just pretend not to?

0:09:47 > 0:09:51No-one is going to take the place of Jose in my heart,

0:09:51 > 0:09:55but it's not about me and it's not about you. It's about Zachary.

0:09:55 > 0:10:01He needs a man to look up to and John is kind and caring

0:10:01 > 0:10:05and they like each other a lot.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Well, I suppose he's better than Charlie.

0:10:11 > 0:10:15They gave my dad a special stone. He was a doctor in Africa.

0:10:15 > 0:10:17He was treating refugees.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19'In memory of Dr Jose Rodriguez

0:10:19 > 0:10:22'who gave his life that others might live.'

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Yeah. Some soldiers attacked the hospital he was working at.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29He could have escaped but he stayed with his patients.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33- He saved their lives. - He was a hero.- Yeah.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36And every week he was away he sent me a video.

0:10:39 > 0:10:40I always play one here.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42'Hey, Zachary, how ya doing?

0:10:42 > 0:10:45'It's a couple of weeks till Christmas. Are you excited?

0:10:45 > 0:10:49'Thomas, come say hello to my boy.'

0:10:49 > 0:10:50That's Sergeant Thomas.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53He did security at the hospital he was working at.

0:10:53 > 0:10:54He's my dad's best friend.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56'Hey, your dad's doing an amazing job.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59'People all love him out here, man. You should be real proud.'

0:10:59 > 0:11:01I guess it helps Mom after...

0:11:01 > 0:11:06- he died.- It's an honour, Zach.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09It's an honour to be here with you and your dad.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15- Are you and Mom going to get married?- What? Er...

0:11:15 > 0:11:19I don't know. What would he say about that?

0:11:19 > 0:11:22'Your mom is the best woman in the world

0:11:22 > 0:11:25'and all I want for Christmas is for her to be happy.

0:11:25 > 0:11:29'You too, son. I love you both so much.'

0:11:32 > 0:11:37I think he'd like you. I do. Grandma says I'm a lot like him.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Can you take me to the toy store after this?

0:11:39 > 0:11:41I need to make a Christmas list.

0:11:41 > 0:11:46- Sure. Let's do that.- Excellent.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02Thank you for bringing me here. Is she OK with it?

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Oh, nothing I can't handle.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08I've asked her to stay for Christmas and I'm inviting Faith too.

0:12:08 > 0:12:13- I hope that's OK. - Sure, my two best friends.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21Ho! Ho! Ho!

0:12:22 > 0:12:25CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS

0:12:25 > 0:12:29The first Santa of the season is always a bit of a shock, eh?

0:12:29 > 0:12:32Come on. Look, there's an elf!

0:12:32 > 0:12:35OK, Zach, you go in and get started on your wish list.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37- I'll be right behind, OK?- OK.

0:12:42 > 0:12:45Come on, John.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Hurry!

0:12:47 > 0:12:51CHRISTMAS MUSIC WARPS

0:12:51 > 0:12:53ANGRY VOICES IN HIS HEAD

0:12:53 > 0:12:56- MAN:- 'Why not? You seem to enjoy it so much!'

0:12:56 > 0:12:59- WOMAN:- 'Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!'

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Aargh!

0:13:02 > 0:13:05All right, OK, back off. I'm going in.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14Ah, first Christmas card.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19You know, this is your house. You can do exactly what you want.

0:13:19 > 0:13:21Yes, John is staying here.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23It is our first Christmas together

0:13:23 > 0:13:26and you know how important that is to me.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28- Isn't that what you wanted to ask? - Actually, no.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30PHONE RINGS

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Hello, this is Grace.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Oh, you have?

0:13:34 > 0:13:38Say that again. Oh, OK.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Er...

0:13:42 > 0:13:45Yes, can I call you back?

0:13:46 > 0:13:50OK, thank you.

0:13:50 > 0:13:51Sorry about that.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53I was going to say,

0:13:53 > 0:13:56why don't you take it a little easier this Christmas?

0:13:56 > 0:13:59You always get so anxious about it. I mean, I understand why, but...

0:13:59 > 0:14:02Grace, what's wrong?

0:14:02 > 0:14:05N-nothing. Nothing is wrong.

0:14:05 > 0:14:08You don't have to tell me but don't lie to me.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Hi, Mom, Grandma. Got the list.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Going to go upstairs and make copies of it.- Good idea, honey.

0:14:19 > 0:14:23- Is he gone?- Yes. How did it go at the store?- It was a nightmare.

0:14:23 > 0:14:26A recurring one, but I managed to sneak these into the car

0:14:26 > 0:14:28when he wasn't looking.

0:14:29 > 0:14:30This one's a Zykline Tri-Blaster.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34- You got him a gun? That's not what Christmas is about.- He's a kid.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37He doesn't know what it's about. I don't even know what it's about.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41OK, would you stop saying things like that. It's not a joke any more.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43No, it's not. That's what I've been trying to...

0:14:43 > 0:14:49Grace, I've got like this serious problem with the seasonal,

0:14:49 > 0:14:52festive, Noel, yuletide thing.

0:14:52 > 0:14:56So serious that I think I'm maybe going to go away for the holidays.

0:14:56 > 0:15:01- What?- I got all this work to do and I'm not good here.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Now you listen to me.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06In this house, there is nothing more important than Christmas.

0:15:06 > 0:15:07Absolutely nothing.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09It is a totally and completely wonderful time

0:15:09 > 0:15:12and you do not have the option of thinking otherwise.

0:15:12 > 0:15:16From now until Christmas, this is happy house

0:15:16 > 0:15:20and everybody in it is going to be very, very happy and I don't

0:15:20 > 0:15:23want to hear any more whining from you, not even for one second.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27- Do you understand me?- Grace. Please?

0:15:27 > 0:15:30Sweetheart. Honey.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36- You're an idiot. - You're not usually so blunt.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38What is it about December 25th?

0:15:38 > 0:15:41It's like we all want it to be perfect and then when it's not,

0:15:41 > 0:15:44it's like the whole world collapses in complete chaos.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46It's ridiculous.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Is there something going on here,

0:15:48 > 0:15:50like some secret I should know about?

0:15:50 > 0:15:52YOU are the one with secrets.

0:15:52 > 0:15:56- You prefer to spend Christmas with your parents?- No, no way.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58Why not? Are they in jail?

0:15:58 > 0:16:02All this time you have been fooling around with my daughter-in-law,

0:16:02 > 0:16:04how come she never met your parents, huh?

0:16:05 > 0:16:08And how come you hate Christmas?

0:16:08 > 0:16:10It seems ridiculous to me.

0:16:12 > 0:16:14YOU are the one with secrets.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19Yes, but you said this was a routine blood test.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22I didn't think pregnancy was a part of routine.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27All right, is there any chance it could be a false positive?

0:16:31 > 0:16:33OK.

0:16:33 > 0:16:37No, yes, congratulations to me.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40OK.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42Thank you.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45SHE SIGHS

0:17:01 > 0:17:05- You sure you're not overdoing it? - Ha-ha, not funny.

0:17:05 > 0:17:09Christmas gets closer every day and we have so much to do.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Did you get the tree?- Yeah, it's huge. I could have been pulled over.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15Get the saw, cut the bottom off. We use the long branches for decorations

0:17:15 > 0:17:17- and the short ones for wreaths. - Wait, you already have a tree.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20No, that's the fake one. In the shed, we have a tinsel one.

0:17:20 > 0:17:22You need to get that one out.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24Then upstairs in the attic we have the sparkly one.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27Zach can help you with that, and we have ornaments up there too.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29And then down in the garage, we have the sleigh, the crib

0:17:29 > 0:17:31and the lawn inflatables.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Priorities, we do all the inside lights first

0:17:33 > 0:17:35and then the outside lights last.

0:17:35 > 0:17:36Right.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41- Get the saw.- Right.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02- Ah, it's too big, it's too big! - All right, well then trim it.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05- What's wrong with your hands? - The sap is sticking to my hands.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07- I'm getting a rash from the needles. - OK, OK, OK, OK.

0:18:07 > 0:18:11Put some gloves on and then get the base out of the shed.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13- Did you order the turkey? - No, I'm going to do that...

0:18:13 > 0:18:15No, no, no, no, no, the big ones always go first.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17- OK, never mind, I'll do it myself. - The big ones?

0:18:17 > 0:18:19- Those cost a lot of money. - This is Christmas.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21- We don't think about money. - Huh, seems like...

0:18:21 > 0:18:22Hush it and keep it hushed!

0:18:22 > 0:18:25I don't want to hear one of your jokes right now.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27- I wasn't making a joke, I was... - HUSH!

0:18:29 > 0:18:31I wasn't making a joke.

0:18:35 > 0:18:36'The tinsel one, you need to get that out.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39'Then upstairs in the attic we have the sparkly one.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41'Zach can help you with that. Oh, and we have ornaments up there too.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44'Then down in the garage, we have the sleigh,

0:18:44 > 0:18:46'the crib and the lawn inflatables...'

0:18:46 > 0:18:49- I don't believe it. - I know. Isn't it great?

0:18:51 > 0:18:54There are the outdoor lights. Where are the indoor ones?

0:18:56 > 0:18:57Oh...

0:18:58 > 0:19:01- Oh, careful with that one. It's a Christmas village.- What?

0:19:01 > 0:19:03We put it round the base of a tree.

0:19:03 > 0:19:04HE SNEEZES

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Careful, don't drop it!

0:19:08 > 0:19:11Zach, look what I got you. Something special this year.

0:19:11 > 0:19:12Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!

0:19:12 > 0:19:15HE SCREAMS

0:19:17 > 0:19:22What's the matter with you? Come on, you're wasting time. Chop chop!

0:19:22 > 0:19:25Well, you lost a few decorations

0:19:25 > 0:19:27but we found the lights.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36- Grace, what is wrong with you?- You.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39- What is wrong with YOU?- Nothing.

0:19:44 > 0:19:48Actually, there is something wrong.

0:19:48 > 0:19:52The whole seasonal festive, Noel, yuletide thing.

0:19:52 > 0:19:55My shrink says that I have a phobia with Ch...

0:19:55 > 0:19:57SHE CHOPS LOUDLY

0:19:57 > 0:20:01He says that I should be taking a holiday from the holiday.

0:20:01 > 0:20:02I know that sounds weird,

0:20:02 > 0:20:05and I thought that maybe this year I could cope...

0:20:05 > 0:20:07CHOPS LOUDLY

0:20:13 > 0:20:15Did you say something?

0:20:20 > 0:20:24- Are you sure you wired it right? - There's a wrong way?! They're fine.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29ELECTRICITY CRACKLES

0:20:31 > 0:20:33Oh, now it's ruined!

0:20:33 > 0:20:38- John, I need you to focus. We are behind schedule.- Schedule?- Yes.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41What is wrong with you? Most people would enjoy all of this.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43- I haven't said a word. - You don't have to.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46- I can hear what you're thinking. - Then cover your ears.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48You know, YOU need to get with the spirit of Christmas.

0:20:48 > 0:20:53Either hush up and suck it up or get out and don't come back.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58- What did you just say?- I knew it!

0:20:58 > 0:21:01I knew that you didn't understand what Christmas was all about.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03Oh, yeah, I do.

0:21:03 > 0:21:08It's about usually sensible people turning into complete idiots.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12It's about insane extravagance, consumer madness

0:21:12 > 0:21:16and the mindless pursuit of tasteless garbage.

0:21:16 > 0:21:22All it does is break up families, spike the suicide rate,

0:21:22 > 0:21:26give heart attacks to people from stress and hernias from carrying

0:21:26 > 0:21:28really big gifts to ungrateful kids

0:21:28 > 0:21:31who just wind up wailing anyway because they want more.

0:21:31 > 0:21:36You know what? I hate Santa Claus and I hate elves,

0:21:36 > 0:21:39and I hate reindeer, and I hate Jingle Bells,

0:21:39 > 0:21:44and I hate baubles, and I hate tinsel and I hate ticky-tacky!

0:21:45 > 0:21:50And if you can't see that that's what all this nonsense is about

0:21:50 > 0:21:52then you're not the person I thought you were

0:21:52 > 0:21:56and I don't want to live in this house for one minute longer!

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Where are you going?- Staying with my parents would be better than this.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Oh, so they do exist?

0:22:08 > 0:22:12- Is John leaving? - We had an argument like adults do.

0:22:12 > 0:22:17I think maybe I've been a little snappy. Maybe pushed him too hard.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21- But he'll be back for Christmas, won't he?- I don't think he likes it.

0:22:21 > 0:22:23I thought it was just a joke.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25I mean, who doesn't like Christmas?

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Come on.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34KNOCK ON DOOR

0:22:38 > 0:22:39KNOCK ON DOOR

0:22:39 > 0:22:41DOOR!

0:22:41 > 0:22:43I'm not deaf!

0:22:44 > 0:22:48- Why do YOU never get the door? - Because I'm busy.

0:22:48 > 0:22:53What else do you have to do? It's not going to be one of my friends, is it?

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Well, that's for sure.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57SHE CACKLES

0:22:57 > 0:22:59KNOCK ON DOOR

0:22:59 > 0:23:02I'm coming, I'm coming!

0:23:05 > 0:23:07- John?!- Hiya, Mom.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10Harry, it's John.

0:23:10 > 0:23:14- So, what's wrong?- Something has to be wrong? Can I come in or not?

0:23:14 > 0:23:17Of course you can, of course you can.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19Don't listen to your father.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23He never did before. Why start now?

0:23:23 > 0:23:27We weren't expecting you, especially not this time of year.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31I hear you're living with some Hispanic woman - Rodriguez.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34- It's her married name. - She's a married Hispanic woman?

0:23:34 > 0:23:38- Please. - I got nothing against Hispanics.

0:23:38 > 0:23:41No, it's just women you hate.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44Doesn't matter anyway because I just left her

0:23:44 > 0:23:46and I left my wallet there too.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48Maybe I could borrow 100 bucks and stay at a motel?

0:23:48 > 0:23:52- So, you still haven't sold your novel?- I have to finish it first.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55I was hoping maybe I can work on it here.

0:23:55 > 0:23:59- HE MUTTERS: No, no, no, no.- Of course you can. Use your old room.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03He's in the house for 30 seconds. Why can't you leave him alone?

0:24:03 > 0:24:05If you hadn't left him alone for so long

0:24:05 > 0:24:08he might have made something of himself.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11What, like you did?!

0:24:11 > 0:24:16Dinner's at eight, John, if your mother can be bothered to cook it.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18When did I ever NOT cook it?

0:24:20 > 0:24:25How much help do I get from you, huh? Huh?

0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Charlene?- Are you going to turn into a frog now?

0:24:43 > 0:24:46- What are you doing here? - They called me over.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49I guess they thought you might be needing me now you're single again.

0:24:49 > 0:24:54- Huh, I see. Um, well... - Well, fortunately, I am too. Single.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57- I dumped the jerk. How's it coming? - It's OK. It's coming OK.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00Yeah, well, I know you never could work over Christmas.

0:25:00 > 0:25:04I always understood that.

0:25:04 > 0:25:08- Well, come on, it's dinner time. - No, it's really late!

0:25:10 > 0:25:16It's always late! When I eat late I don't sleep well.

0:25:16 > 0:25:21She knows it. It's good to see you, Charlene. I'm sorry about your man.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24Oh, it's no loss. I wanted marriage, he didn't.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27I wanted babies, he didn't. End of story.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30- Isn't that why you broke up with John?- Mom!

0:25:30 > 0:25:31You want babies with HIM?

0:25:31 > 0:25:32Dad!

0:25:32 > 0:25:35Well, it's about time you did. A man your age...

0:25:35 > 0:25:37Oh, Mr Brooking, I'm sure you sowed

0:25:37 > 0:25:40a few wild oats in your days before you met this lovely lady.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Not just before.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44What is that supposed to mean?

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Is there someone coming up the drive?

0:25:48 > 0:25:52- What kind of damn fool comes visiting at this time of night?- I'll check.

0:25:52 > 0:25:53Mm!

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Oh, no.

0:25:59 > 0:26:03It can't be. It's...

0:26:03 > 0:26:05It's...

0:26:05 > 0:26:09- Charlene.- It's not me, honey, I'm already here.- No, you can't be here.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12It's Grace. It's my girlfriend. She can't see you here.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15- You've got to go right now.- I beg your pardon?- She can't see you!

0:26:15 > 0:26:19- You're asking Charlene to leave because your ex is coming...?- Please!

0:26:19 > 0:26:22She wouldn't understand! Please, I'll do anything.

0:26:22 > 0:26:24- Let's go, let's go.- All right!

0:26:24 > 0:26:25DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:25 > 0:26:29- Oh, no.- All right, I'll go! - No, no, not that way!

0:26:29 > 0:26:32This way, out the back door. I'll make this up to you, I promise.

0:26:32 > 0:26:35Wait a minute, Charlene. Tom broke up with this woman.

0:26:35 > 0:26:38- Stay right where you are. - No, it's fine. Back door.

0:26:39 > 0:26:43Tomorrow morning, you make it up to me. Meet me in the garage.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Sure, whatever. Go, go.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:47 > 0:26:51- You mind telling me why you're doing this?- Because I love her, OK?

0:26:58 > 0:27:00Grace. Hi.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02- John?- Come in.

0:27:05 > 0:27:12- That's my father Harry and that's my mother Agnes.- How do you do?

0:27:12 > 0:27:14How did you know where to come find me?

0:27:14 > 0:27:18- Charlie Smythe, he used to know you, Mr Brooking.- Mm-hm?

0:27:18 > 0:27:22And you're just on the other side of town and...

0:27:22 > 0:27:26you left your phone and your wallet. And I've packed your things.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28They're in my car if you want to come and get them.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32No, no! I want you to stay! I want you to stay...the night. Yeah!

0:27:32 > 0:27:35Why don't you say the night? Mom, can Grace stay the night?

0:27:35 > 0:27:39Sure. She can use your room. You move into the office.

0:27:39 > 0:27:43- It's OK, Mom, Grace and I can share a room.- No, you can't.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46This is an old-fashioned kind of house.

0:27:46 > 0:27:47Separate bedrooms, if you don't mind.

0:27:47 > 0:27:49Of course.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51If it's good enough for your father...

0:27:51 > 0:27:53it's good enough for you.

0:27:53 > 0:27:54I'll call Emilia,

0:27:54 > 0:27:56- have her take care of Zach.- Later -

0:27:56 > 0:27:58dinner is getting cold.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Come in. Sit down.

0:28:06 > 0:28:10- There's a place already set! - Yeah, they always do that.

0:28:10 > 0:28:14We used to have a maid, but he argues with them all, so...

0:28:14 > 0:28:16I get to do the cooking.

0:28:16 > 0:28:18Well, if you weren't so damn lazy

0:28:18 > 0:28:21we wouldn't need a maid in the first place.

0:28:21 > 0:28:23I hope it's not cold.

0:28:23 > 0:28:25It always is.

0:28:25 > 0:28:28Charlie says that you were in politics.

0:28:28 > 0:28:30For a while.

0:28:30 > 0:28:32Waste of time.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34You were one who wasted it.

0:28:34 > 0:28:36I would have been fine with a little support.

0:28:36 > 0:28:40I thought that's why you had all those 19-year-old interns

0:28:40 > 0:28:42with the short skirts.

0:28:45 > 0:28:46GLASS SMASHES

0:28:46 > 0:28:51There goes another one! Can we just have a truce during dinner?

0:28:51 > 0:28:55So are you in business now, Mr Brooking? Lawyer.

0:28:55 > 0:28:57My father's company.

0:28:57 > 0:28:59I hate it.

0:28:59 > 0:29:00You hated him.

0:29:00 > 0:29:03It's natural to hate your father.

0:29:03 > 0:29:06That's why I got out.

0:29:06 > 0:29:09- I got elected, too.- For a while.

0:29:10 > 0:29:14He never gets along with anybody. So now he's...

0:29:14 > 0:29:16trapped in the family business.

0:29:16 > 0:29:21At least it pays for John's fancy college.

0:29:21 > 0:29:26Lot of use that was. You know...he never had a job.

0:29:26 > 0:29:28He worked at the publisher's.

0:29:28 > 0:29:31- They went broke. - Then at the library.

0:29:31 > 0:29:36- That wasn't a job!- This is...lovely. Thank you, Mrs Brooking.

0:29:36 > 0:29:39No, it's not. She's a lousy cook.

0:29:39 > 0:29:44I would offer you wine, but he's even worse when he's drunk.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46Funny.

0:29:46 > 0:29:51If this is a serious thing you have with my son,

0:29:51 > 0:29:54how come we've never met you?

0:29:54 > 0:29:59- Oh... I thought he was ashamed of me.- No.

0:29:59 > 0:30:00No.

0:30:01 > 0:30:04He's ashamed of us.

0:30:04 > 0:30:05Always has been.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13Anyone bring a saw?

0:30:13 > 0:30:19- AGNES: What are you looking for?! - What?- What are you looking for?!

0:30:19 > 0:30:21None of your business!

0:30:23 > 0:30:25AGNES: I know what it is.

0:30:25 > 0:30:27What an evening.

0:30:29 > 0:30:32It's my dad's pyjamas.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35It's so cold in this place. In every way.

0:30:35 > 0:30:40They're trapped in it, aren't they? Must be awful for them.

0:30:40 > 0:30:43- They can't escape it. - That's why I had to.

0:30:43 > 0:30:45It's just the worst time of year.

0:30:45 > 0:30:47John, about...

0:30:49 > 0:30:51..my behaviour lately...

0:30:52 > 0:30:56It's not just that I go nuts over Christmas...

0:30:59 > 0:31:02- ..I found out...- No, don't apologise! I'm the one with the problem.

0:31:02 > 0:31:05And you don't know the half of it.

0:31:05 > 0:31:10Every year, my father would dress up in a Santa Claus suit for a week.

0:31:10 > 0:31:12He thought it was funny.

0:31:12 > 0:31:17And then he'd get drunk, and the drunker he got, the meaner he got.

0:31:17 > 0:31:21- When I was 13 I ran away from home. - But you came back.

0:31:21 > 0:31:24No, I stayed with friends and relatives but, every year,

0:31:24 > 0:31:28in the holidays, they insisted I come back.

0:31:28 > 0:31:30And I dreaded it. It was like a punishment.

0:31:30 > 0:31:33The fighting, the arguing and...

0:31:33 > 0:31:36the slamming doors and the smashing china...

0:31:36 > 0:31:39So ever since then, I've had, like, this phobia about...

0:31:42 > 0:31:45..about, um...about Xmas.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47Oh, my gosh!

0:31:47 > 0:31:49You can't even say it!

0:31:51 > 0:31:55- I understand.- You do?- Yeah.

0:31:56 > 0:32:00So, you know what? Let's...

0:32:00 > 0:32:03get some rest and we'll talk about this tomorrow.

0:32:03 > 0:32:07- Work it out.- OK.- I think. - I think so too.

0:32:08 > 0:32:10Good night.

0:32:12 > 0:32:14Good night.

0:32:16 > 0:32:18DOOR RATTLES LOUDLY

0:32:20 > 0:32:23I'd do anything for you, Grace. Anything but...

0:32:23 > 0:32:25Anything but Christmas.

0:32:27 > 0:32:29SHE SIGHS

0:32:38 > 0:32:40KNOCKING

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Nn-nn!

0:32:48 > 0:32:50PANICKY BREATHING

0:32:50 > 0:32:51It's you!

0:32:51 > 0:32:54Yeah. It's my house.

0:32:54 > 0:32:56HE CHUCKLES

0:33:19 > 0:33:20Ah!

0:33:25 > 0:33:27Charlene...

0:33:27 > 0:33:32- This is really...really awkward. - No, it's just like old times.

0:33:32 > 0:33:34It's like an ice box in here.

0:33:34 > 0:33:37- Remember how we use to steam up those windows?- Charlene...

0:33:37 > 0:33:43- Let me keep you warm.- You have to go.- Why, did you make out?

0:33:43 > 0:33:44No, no, not exactly...

0:33:44 > 0:33:47Charlene, I've always thought of you as just this really,

0:33:47 > 0:33:49really great friend.

0:33:49 > 0:33:52- We were a lot more than that. - Yeah, and I like you, you know?

0:33:52 > 0:33:54I really like you, but...

0:34:00 > 0:34:02Good morning, Mr Brooking.

0:34:04 > 0:34:07- Are you going?- Yes.

0:34:07 > 0:34:13- Is...he leaving with you? - I don't know.

0:34:13 > 0:34:15You love him or...what?

0:34:16 > 0:34:20I don't mean to be disrespectful, but that is not your business.

0:34:20 > 0:34:23Ah, well, it is disrespectful.

0:34:24 > 0:34:28He's in the garage, out the kitchen.

0:34:31 > 0:34:32SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:34:38 > 0:34:41John, I understand. You're terrified of commitment.

0:34:41 > 0:34:44With a family like this, who wouldn't be?

0:34:44 > 0:34:46Yeah, but I thought maybe there was this chance

0:34:46 > 0:34:47if I could just get over this whole...

0:34:47 > 0:34:49Xmas thing...

0:34:49 > 0:34:54Well, why don't you just... come stay with me for a little bit?

0:34:54 > 0:34:56We can work things out.

0:34:56 > 0:34:58I'm going to work things out with Grace.

0:34:58 > 0:35:00Aaaagh!

0:35:00 > 0:35:04- Aaaagh!- Oh, no! Quick, take it off! Take them off!- Haaa!- Whoo!

0:35:04 > 0:35:06THEY PANT AND GASP

0:35:08 > 0:35:10No! Oh, no!

0:35:10 > 0:35:12No! No!

0:35:12 > 0:35:16- I was getting into this! - No! No! Grace!

0:35:16 > 0:35:18No! Stop!

0:35:18 > 0:35:19Uhhh!

0:35:22 > 0:35:24What is wrong with you?!

0:35:24 > 0:35:27Well, I thought you were going to freeze to death!

0:35:27 > 0:35:28- DOOR SLAMS - Oh...

0:35:30 > 0:35:32Goodbye, Mr Brooking.

0:35:32 > 0:35:33Er, Grace...

0:35:35 > 0:35:36Grace?

0:35:39 > 0:35:40Grace!

0:35:40 > 0:35:42She went upstairs.

0:35:42 > 0:35:43HE CHUCKLES

0:35:43 > 0:35:45Grace!

0:35:46 > 0:35:47Mom!

0:35:49 > 0:35:50Grace?

0:35:51 > 0:35:53No! Grace!

0:35:54 > 0:35:56HE GRUNTS

0:35:58 > 0:35:59Mom!

0:36:03 > 0:36:05What the...?

0:36:05 > 0:36:06Grace!

0:36:07 > 0:36:09Grace? Grace!

0:36:09 > 0:36:10Grace, it's not what you think.

0:36:10 > 0:36:13At least I know now why don't want to spend your time with us.

0:36:13 > 0:36:15You're not going to believe this...

0:36:15 > 0:36:18You're a writer, John, you'll come up with a great story.

0:36:18 > 0:36:19I wouldn't believe it either, but...

0:36:19 > 0:36:23It wasn't going to work anyway. Anything but Christmas?

0:36:23 > 0:36:24Christmas is everything.

0:36:24 > 0:36:28And a relationship that doesn't understand that isn't worth having.

0:36:28 > 0:36:30You won't see Zach or me ever again.

0:36:30 > 0:36:32I won't take your calls,

0:36:32 > 0:36:34and if you come to the house I'll have you arrested.

0:36:36 > 0:36:38CAR DOOR SLAMS, ENGINE STARTS

0:36:45 > 0:36:47Ohhh... We'll get over this, John.

0:36:48 > 0:36:51Now we can get back to doing what we used to do.

0:36:51 > 0:36:54We can go hiking or sailing or mountaineering.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56We can go on a vacation to Saudi Arabia.

0:36:56 > 0:36:59They don't do Christmas there, why should we? Right?

0:37:02 > 0:37:03DOOR SLAMS

0:37:06 > 0:37:07BEEPING

0:37:10 > 0:37:15- Zach!- Hi, John. Everything OK?- Er, no.

0:37:15 > 0:37:18Actually, your mom and I had a bit of a misunderstanding

0:37:18 > 0:37:20and I'm not supposed to see her any more and I'm not supposed to come

0:37:20 > 0:37:23and see you, but...she didn't say anything about the internet.

0:37:23 > 0:37:27So I thought maybe, I don't know, you could... I've got to see her.

0:37:27 > 0:37:29I have to explain things to her.

0:37:30 > 0:37:33- Sounds like you need an intermediate.- A what?

0:37:33 > 0:37:36- What is it, a meditator?- Mediator? - Yeah, I'll go get Grandma.

0:37:36 > 0:37:41- Oh, no, no. We don't want to bother her.- OK, what about Aunt Faith?

0:37:41 > 0:37:45- She's here to stay.- I don't think that's a good idea either.

0:37:45 > 0:37:47I'm home.

0:37:47 > 0:37:51Mom's home. Got to go. Call you later. It's OK, I have a plan.

0:37:51 > 0:37:53Zach?

0:37:53 > 0:37:54BEEP

0:37:55 > 0:37:58Aunt Faith, can you please take me to the mall later?

0:37:58 > 0:38:03- I want to get a Christmas present for Mom.- Good idea. So do I.

0:38:03 > 0:38:04There.

0:38:15 > 0:38:17SHE SIGHS

0:38:20 > 0:38:22How was it?

0:38:22 > 0:38:23Oh...

0:38:23 > 0:38:26Everything is going to be fine, Zach.

0:38:26 > 0:38:29Mom, you don't need to protect me.

0:38:29 > 0:38:32I like John a lot, but if you don't, I understand.

0:38:32 > 0:38:37Don't you want a father, brothers and sisters? A real family?

0:38:37 > 0:38:39Only if it makes you happy.

0:38:39 > 0:38:41As long as we're all together for Christmas,

0:38:41 > 0:38:43everything will just be fine.

0:38:49 > 0:38:52Your grandson is amazing.

0:38:52 > 0:38:53No, it's none of my business,

0:38:53 > 0:38:56but are you sure you want to lose this guy?

0:38:56 > 0:39:00Oh! So... How did it go?

0:39:00 > 0:39:03Done. It's over.

0:39:03 > 0:39:04Oh, good.

0:39:05 > 0:39:08Sorry, bad... But it's good, really.

0:39:08 > 0:39:13I drove him away. He doesn't do Christmas.

0:39:13 > 0:39:14Maybe you do it too much.

0:39:14 > 0:39:18- You know why that is. - But he doesn't.- Why don't...?

0:39:18 > 0:39:20He has another woman, OK?

0:39:20 > 0:39:23Oh...no...

0:39:23 > 0:39:27Well, that settles it. I was actually beginning to like him.

0:39:28 > 0:39:32I've actually never met a man that I liked, including him.

0:39:32 > 0:39:35- But I never figured him for a womaniser.- Faith...- Yeah?

0:39:35 > 0:39:38- ..I'm pregnant.- What?

0:39:39 > 0:39:43Oh, that's wonderful! Oh, my God. No, it's not. It's terrible.

0:39:43 > 0:39:47Is it his? Yeah, sorry, no, of course it's his. But...

0:39:47 > 0:39:49does he know? No, of course. Why would you tell him?

0:39:49 > 0:39:52I was going to tell him as a Christmas present.

0:39:52 > 0:39:56- Now I'm going to have two kids without a father.- Well, that's...

0:39:56 > 0:39:58OK... I mean, honestly,

0:39:58 > 0:40:00what kind of father would he have been anyway, right?

0:40:00 > 0:40:03He would have been a wonderful father.

0:40:03 > 0:40:06Yes, that would be right, he would have been a good father. But...

0:40:06 > 0:40:09- what kind of husband would he have been?- Faith, just be quiet.

0:40:09 > 0:40:13Don't tell me to be quiet. Nobody tells me to be quiet!

0:40:20 > 0:40:22I apologise.

0:40:22 > 0:40:23Goodness...

0:40:23 > 0:40:27OK. Do you actually love this idiot?

0:40:27 > 0:40:29- I thought so. - Well then, he is an idiot.

0:40:29 > 0:40:30I mean, doesn't he know that?

0:40:32 > 0:40:34- I never told him.- You...

0:40:34 > 0:40:37I just couldn't bring myself to say it after Jose.

0:40:39 > 0:40:43- Maybe that's why he went elsewhere. - Grace, just...tell him.

0:40:43 > 0:40:46Tell him about the thing.

0:40:46 > 0:40:49What, and then he leaves this other woman because I am

0:40:49 > 0:40:53pregnant, and then he leaves me after he's done feeling guilty?

0:40:53 > 0:40:54No.

0:40:54 > 0:40:57No. It's over.

0:41:01 > 0:41:02Come on, Zachary, let's go.

0:41:02 > 0:41:06- I'll meet you at the car, Aunt Faith, just a couple of minutes.- OK.

0:41:08 > 0:41:12Target approaching intersect. Target approaching intersect, over.

0:41:12 > 0:41:14Great, thanks for this, Zach, over.

0:41:14 > 0:41:16Target in position, execute.

0:41:19 > 0:41:21- Faith!- Argh!

0:41:21 > 0:41:23Faith, I know we haven't always got on but I want you to know...

0:41:23 > 0:41:27- Get away from me, go away. - Are you having a baby?- No, my sis...

0:41:27 > 0:41:31- My nephew, my nephew is having a baby.- Zach is nine years old.

0:41:31 > 0:41:33I've got another one, a secret one in Australia.

0:41:33 > 0:41:34How dare you approach me.

0:41:34 > 0:41:37Get away from me right now, go back to your fancy woman.

0:41:37 > 0:41:38Faith, there is no fanc...

0:41:38 > 0:41:41There is nothing you have to say that I want to hear.

0:41:41 > 0:41:43Zachary! Get in now!

0:41:47 > 0:41:48Put your seat belt on.

0:41:48 > 0:41:49Baby booties?!

0:41:59 > 0:42:01Faith, get out of the car.

0:42:01 > 0:42:02HORN HONKS

0:42:05 > 0:42:09- Now, you listen to me! - Is Grace having a baby?- No!

0:42:09 > 0:42:13- I did not tell you that, absolutely not.- I'm coming home right now.- No!

0:42:13 > 0:42:14Look, if you go back to her now,

0:42:14 > 0:42:16she's never really going to believe that you want to.

0:42:16 > 0:42:19She's going to think it's because of the...the thing.

0:42:19 > 0:42:21If she knows that you know, she's never going to really know.

0:42:21 > 0:42:23I mean, do you know that?

0:42:23 > 0:42:25HORN HONKS

0:42:25 > 0:42:27And she will kill me if she thinks that I told you.

0:42:27 > 0:42:30You say anything and I am going to kill you after she kills me,

0:42:30 > 0:42:31you got it?

0:42:31 > 0:42:33HORNS HONK

0:42:33 > 0:42:35And another thing.

0:42:35 > 0:42:38How dare you take up with another woman! After all she's been through.

0:42:38 > 0:42:39You creep, just stay away.

0:42:40 > 0:42:42Zachary, get in the car!

0:42:47 > 0:42:48TYRES SCREECH

0:43:19 > 0:43:22Are you going to come in? Baked some cookies.

0:43:22 > 0:43:25I've ruined everything. My whole life.

0:43:25 > 0:43:28I'm heading for misery just like them in there.

0:43:30 > 0:43:34Not with me, you would not be. John, I just...

0:43:35 > 0:43:39I do not want to spend another Christmas all alone.

0:43:39 > 0:43:40I love her.

0:43:40 > 0:43:42I bet she loved me.

0:43:42 > 0:43:46- Did she tell you that? - No. She never...

0:43:46 > 0:43:47So, she doesn't.

0:43:47 > 0:43:52- If she did, she would say something, why wouldn't she?- She's pregnant.

0:43:52 > 0:43:54Grace is pregnant.

0:43:54 > 0:43:59I love her, she's having my baby, and I can't even talk to her.

0:43:59 > 0:44:00Oh.

0:44:01 > 0:44:02I did not know that.

0:44:05 > 0:44:07I guess I did a bad thing.

0:44:10 > 0:44:13- You really love her?- Completely.

0:44:13 > 0:44:14OK.

0:44:17 > 0:44:18OK.

0:44:18 > 0:44:21Well, then, come on, pick yourself up,

0:44:21 > 0:44:25you'd be crazy to let yourself go, and even crazier to let her go.

0:44:25 > 0:44:27John, if you want to get her back...

0:44:27 > 0:44:29you are going to have to do anything.

0:44:29 > 0:44:31Anything!

0:44:31 > 0:44:32Even Christmas.

0:44:39 > 0:44:41- Mrs Rodriguez?- Oh!

0:44:41 > 0:44:42Emelia.

0:44:42 > 0:44:45You louse, get away from here or she'll get a restraining order.

0:44:45 > 0:44:46I'm not having an affair.

0:44:46 > 0:44:49A pervert like you is probably having two or three.

0:44:49 > 0:44:53I love Grace, Mrs Rodriguez. I know you do not want to believe that.

0:44:53 > 0:44:55The thought of it makes me sick.

0:44:55 > 0:44:59OK, yeah, I'm a little weird because I don't do the whole seasonal, Noel,

0:44:59 > 0:45:02festive, yuletide events and otherwise none of this would

0:45:02 > 0:45:05have happened, but I need her, and she doesn't need me,

0:45:05 > 0:45:08but your grandson, he needs a father and I love them both.

0:45:08 > 0:45:11Can you help me? I've just got to talk to her.

0:45:11 > 0:45:13You want me to ask her to talk to you.

0:45:13 > 0:45:16- You are my last hope. - Then you must be desperate.

0:45:16 > 0:45:18I am.

0:45:18 > 0:45:19Can't you see I am?

0:45:23 > 0:45:25I can't help you.

0:45:25 > 0:45:29When my son died, she grieved.

0:45:29 > 0:45:30But...

0:45:30 > 0:45:32I didn't grieve, I was too angry.

0:45:33 > 0:45:36I even said some terrible things, blamed her.

0:45:36 > 0:45:40She never rejected me because I was Zachary's grandma

0:45:40 > 0:45:44but now she won't listen to a word I say, and with good reason.

0:45:44 > 0:45:46She won't even let me get near her.

0:45:49 > 0:45:52- She'll be at the cemetery. - No, she won't.

0:45:52 > 0:45:54She only goes there on the last day of the month.

0:45:54 > 0:45:56Today is the 21st of December.

0:45:57 > 0:45:58She will be there.

0:46:13 > 0:46:14Sergeant Thomas?

0:46:15 > 0:46:16It's just Thomas now.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21- Do I know you?- I saw you in the video with Jose.

0:46:21 > 0:46:23Well...

0:46:23 > 0:46:26any friend of Jose's is a friend of mine. What is your name?

0:46:26 > 0:46:27John Brooking.

0:46:28 > 0:46:30Nice to meet you, John.

0:46:30 > 0:46:35- I was hoping to find Grace here. - She will be.

0:46:35 > 0:46:36See you at the grave.

0:46:52 > 0:46:53I had to leave him.

0:46:56 > 0:46:58The hospital was almost surrounded.

0:47:00 > 0:47:02Took the nurses and the patients who could walk,

0:47:02 > 0:47:04but he would not abandon the rest.

0:47:04 > 0:47:06We barricaded the doors...

0:47:08 > 0:47:11..and the rebels broke through just as we got back.

0:47:13 > 0:47:16Shot them before running away. They say it was patients but...

0:47:17 > 0:47:19How do you know Jose?

0:47:20 > 0:47:22I never actually met him.

0:47:26 > 0:47:28- What?- It's Grace I know.

0:47:28 > 0:47:31I don't know why she never mentioned the grave.

0:47:31 > 0:47:33Why doesn't Zach come here?

0:47:33 > 0:47:36You don't know about that? Does Grace even know you are here?

0:47:36 > 0:47:39We got into an argument and I am not allowed in the house

0:47:39 > 0:47:41but I really have to talk to her.

0:47:41 > 0:47:43Let me get this straight.

0:47:43 > 0:47:46- Are you stalking my best friend's widow?- I have to see her.

0:47:46 > 0:47:48- Does she want to see you? - No, I don't think so.

0:47:48 > 0:47:50Well then, I suggest you get your ass up out of here.

0:47:50 > 0:47:53No, look, no, I am not a stalker, no, I love her.

0:47:55 > 0:47:58She's coming. Take cover over there, I'll talk with her.

0:47:58 > 0:48:00If she wants to see you, fine. If not,

0:48:00 > 0:48:02I am going to pick you up and throw you a very long way.

0:48:02 > 0:48:03Now go.

0:48:13 > 0:48:16- Grace.- Tom!- So good to see you.

0:48:16 > 0:48:19Can't believe it's been a year since we were here.

0:48:19 > 0:48:21And you drive six hours to be here.

0:48:21 > 0:48:26And three years since we were first here. Does time heal?

0:48:26 > 0:48:28A little.

0:48:28 > 0:48:30Grief can be hard to let go.

0:48:30 > 0:48:33It's true, that. How is my man Zachary doing?

0:48:33 > 0:48:36- Oh, he is so good.- Great kid.

0:48:36 > 0:48:38- Are you seeing anyone?- No, single.

0:48:38 > 0:48:42I haven't found Miss Right...yet.

0:48:42 > 0:48:45- How about you?- There was someone.

0:48:45 > 0:48:48But I am not looking to fill his old shoes.

0:48:52 > 0:48:56Thomas...there is someone hiding behind that truck.

0:48:56 > 0:48:58Yes, there is.

0:49:01 > 0:49:03Hey, cupcake, she wants to talk to you.

0:49:05 > 0:49:07Can't imagine why.

0:49:11 > 0:49:14- I owe you an explanation. - You don't owe me anything.

0:49:14 > 0:49:17I have never brought Zach here, not yet.

0:49:17 > 0:49:19I didn't want him to find out.

0:49:21 > 0:49:26Jose was shot on December 15. I found out the same day.

0:49:28 > 0:49:29But he didn't die...

0:49:30 > 0:49:34..until six days later, on December 21.

0:49:36 > 0:49:41Zach was looking so forward to Christmas, I didn't want to ruin it

0:49:41 > 0:49:44and every other Christmas in his life by telling him.

0:49:46 > 0:49:51So I kept it a secret from him, Faith, even Emelia.

0:49:51 > 0:49:56I told them that Jose was in the bush, unable to be contacted.

0:49:59 > 0:50:04And I just spent Christmas smiling, pretending.

0:50:04 > 0:50:06That must have been hell.

0:50:09 > 0:50:12They brought Jose's body back on December 30.

0:50:14 > 0:50:16And that's when I had to tell them.

0:50:16 > 0:50:19You and I are not so different.

0:50:20 > 0:50:25For you, Christmas is about arguments and bitterness.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29For me, it is about grief and despair.

0:50:29 > 0:50:35You escape it, deny it, and I am desperate to celebrate every moment,

0:50:35 > 0:50:41make everything OK so that maybe Zach won't miss his dad so much.

0:50:41 > 0:50:44- Grace, I love you.- John, please.

0:50:44 > 0:50:47I don't want to hear. I can't love you.

0:50:48 > 0:50:50I can't love any man.

0:50:51 > 0:50:56- And a man who can't do Christmas, there's just no way.- Maybe I could.

0:50:58 > 0:51:00Maybe I could get over this phobia thing.

0:51:00 > 0:51:02Maybe then I could be with you and Zach.

0:51:02 > 0:51:05It worked for that guy in the Dickens' book,

0:51:05 > 0:51:06- the guy with the humbug.- Scrooge?

0:51:06 > 0:51:09Yes! Right? He got another chance.

0:51:09 > 0:51:12He looked at the mistakes of his past, he saw his future.

0:51:12 > 0:51:14Please?

0:51:14 > 0:51:17Look, even if we're not going to be together any more,

0:51:17 > 0:51:20could I at least come for the holidays with you

0:51:20 > 0:51:25and Zach? I love that kid and I think he likes me, right?

0:51:25 > 0:51:28- He misses you. - I'll just be a house guest.

0:51:28 > 0:51:29Please?

0:51:29 > 0:51:33If you can really do Christmas...

0:51:33 > 0:51:34you can come.

0:51:34 > 0:51:37- And then after the holiday, you will leave.- Thank you.

0:51:39 > 0:51:41Now go. I want to be alone.

0:51:43 > 0:51:45SHE SIGHS

0:52:04 > 0:52:07- SANTA MODEL:- 'Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!'

0:52:07 > 0:52:09Gracie-pacey...

0:52:09 > 0:52:10Oh...

0:52:10 > 0:52:13I thought you and Grace had broken up.

0:52:13 > 0:52:16- And you came right over to get some pudding and pie?- No, not exactly.

0:52:16 > 0:52:20You see, I broke up too, with Juliet, so Grace invited me

0:52:20 > 0:52:23- to stay for Christmas. - You're staying here?

0:52:23 > 0:52:27You know how generous Grace is. She is being kind to the ex-boyfriend.

0:52:27 > 0:52:30You are not the ex. I am the ex. You are the ex-ex.

0:52:30 > 0:52:34As long as we get that, we are going to get along fine, OK, buddy?

0:52:34 > 0:52:35'Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!'

0:52:35 > 0:52:38- What are you doing here? - No, it is OK. She...

0:52:38 > 0:52:42- Oh, my God, shall I call the cops? - No! No! She knows that I am here.

0:52:42 > 0:52:44John, are you back, did it work out?

0:52:44 > 0:52:48No, Zach, no, I am just here as a guest. I am a house guest.

0:52:48 > 0:52:52- You mean like Charlie? - Yes, yes, exactly like Charlie.

0:52:52 > 0:52:55And I am here to celebrate the holiday season,

0:52:55 > 0:53:00the whole seasonal, festive, Noel, yuletide thing.

0:53:00 > 0:53:03Ex. Ex-ex.

0:53:03 > 0:53:04Ex-mas!

0:53:04 > 0:53:07The woman is insane and so are the pair of you.

0:53:07 > 0:53:10Zachary, come to the kitchen with me. Now.

0:53:13 > 0:53:17- Well, I'd love a cup of tea. - So go make one.

0:53:17 > 0:53:18Right-o.

0:53:18 > 0:53:21'Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!'

0:53:21 > 0:53:24- Did you... - She does not know that I know.

0:53:24 > 0:53:26Good. Keep it that way.

0:53:28 > 0:53:30'Ho, ho, ho, Merry...'

0:53:30 > 0:53:33I can do this. I CAN do this.

0:53:33 > 0:53:35'Ho, ho, ho, Merry...'

0:53:35 > 0:53:37SOUND DIES OUT

0:53:38 > 0:53:42MUSIC: "Jingle Bells"

0:54:15 > 0:54:17Three,

0:54:17 > 0:54:18two,

0:54:18 > 0:54:21one...

0:54:22 > 0:54:23SHE GASPS

0:54:23 > 0:54:25Oh, my God.

0:54:25 > 0:54:27Wow.

0:54:50 > 0:54:53Good morning, John, what are you going to be doing today?

0:54:53 > 0:54:57I don't know, what do we normally do on the day before the main day?

0:54:57 > 0:55:00Christmas Eve? We just wait around for Christmas Day, I guess.

0:55:00 > 0:55:04- Oh, and we do carol singing.- Oh, yeah? Yeah, I won't be doing that.

0:55:04 > 0:55:05Oh.

0:55:05 > 0:55:07John, I couldn't sleep all night.

0:55:07 > 0:55:09- Are you certain that the lights on the roof are safe?- I think so.

0:55:09 > 0:55:11- You think so? - KNOCK ON DOOR

0:55:11 > 0:55:14That could be a public liability.

0:55:14 > 0:55:17Have you considered the extra weight? Is the roof even insured?

0:55:17 > 0:55:19The risk of electrocution?!

0:55:22 > 0:55:25- Guess who's coming to dinner? - Sgt Thomas!

0:55:25 > 0:55:28Hiya, Zach! How you doing, little man?

0:55:28 > 0:55:30Jeez, not so little any more. What are you feeding him?

0:55:30 > 0:55:34- Thomas, I am so glad you came to join us.- I would not have missed it.

0:55:34 > 0:55:37- I hope you have room for me. - Of course we do.- Oh, great.

0:55:39 > 0:55:43Wow. Well, you do not take this seriously at all, do you?!

0:55:44 > 0:55:45- Thomas.- Mrs Rodriguez.

0:55:45 > 0:55:48- John, you are going to move in with Charlie.- With Charlie?- Mm-hm.

0:55:48 > 0:55:50Thomas, this is Charlie.

0:55:50 > 0:55:52- Charlie.- Thomas.

0:55:52 > 0:55:54- And then you've met John.- Mm-hm.

0:55:56 > 0:55:59And you must be Faith. I've heard so much about you.

0:56:01 > 0:56:03Oh, come on, we've passed that. Christmas hugs for Faith!

0:56:03 > 0:56:05THEY LAUGH

0:56:05 > 0:56:09- She needs it! OK, so, hey, how about breakfast? Yes?- Sounds good.

0:56:09 > 0:56:11Come and eat. We are so happy to see you.

0:56:11 > 0:56:13Smashing, breakfast!

0:56:17 > 0:56:20- ZACHARY:- Ho, ho, ho!

0:56:20 > 0:56:23Ho, ho, ho, ho!

0:56:23 > 0:56:26Very nice, why don't we just put that in the closet somewhere?

0:56:26 > 0:56:28Look, I know this is not easy for you, Christmas and all,

0:56:28 > 0:56:31but Mom has been treating you as special as she used to.

0:56:31 > 0:56:34Your mom is being great, but maybe we should just put that away.

0:56:34 > 0:56:37I did not want to ask Sergeant Thomas. Too small for him anyway.

0:56:37 > 0:56:40And Charlie really wants to wear it.

0:56:40 > 0:56:42- But I thought it should be you.- Me?

0:56:42 > 0:56:44You see...

0:56:44 > 0:56:46it was my dad's.

0:56:46 > 0:56:49And nobody has ever worn it since he did.

0:56:49 > 0:56:51I think it would fit you.

0:56:57 > 0:56:59- That looks nice.- It's good.

0:56:59 > 0:57:01Oh, thank you.

0:57:01 > 0:57:03How is the house coming along?

0:57:03 > 0:57:06- Good. - It's coming beautifully. Look!

0:57:06 > 0:57:08Oh, my goodness.

0:57:08 > 0:57:10The costume, is that...

0:57:10 > 0:57:11It was my idea.

0:57:11 > 0:57:14Now I have a real-life Santa just like before.

0:57:14 > 0:57:17I think you need a little padding there, partner.

0:57:17 > 0:57:21Well, now we are all gathered, let's do some practice.

0:57:22 > 0:57:24Wow.

0:57:25 > 0:57:28- Are you OK? - I couldn't do the beard.

0:57:29 > 0:57:33I'll help you. SHE STIFLES LAUGHTER

0:57:33 > 0:57:34Are you ready?

0:57:34 > 0:57:35Wait, OK.

0:57:35 > 0:57:37Over, there we go.

0:57:37 > 0:57:41You know you are going to have to wear this tonight for carolling.

0:57:41 > 0:57:45- Oh, no, I can't. - We join in every year for charity.

0:57:46 > 0:57:48Carols. For sure.

0:57:48 > 0:57:51ALL: # We wish you a Merry Christmas

0:57:51 > 0:57:53# We wish you a Merry Christmas

0:57:53 > 0:57:58# We wish you a Merry Christmas And a happy New Year. #

0:57:58 > 0:58:01John, could you take the beard off and give us the chorus?

0:58:01 > 0:58:03One, two...

0:58:03 > 0:58:06# We wish you a Merry...

0:58:06 > 0:58:09# We wish you a Merry...'mas.

0:58:09 > 0:58:11# We wish you a Merry ex-mas And a happy New Year. #

0:58:11 > 0:58:12All right?

0:58:12 > 0:58:14Ex-mas? You make it sound like a disease.

0:58:14 > 0:58:16I've got a problem, I am dealing with it.

0:58:16 > 0:58:18Well, until you do, just mouth it.

0:58:18 > 0:58:19DOOR OPENS

0:58:21 > 0:58:24Grace, do not ever make me drive to that mall again.

0:58:24 > 0:58:27So much traffic I couldn't even get near it.

0:58:27 > 0:58:29And every single one of those drivers, a complete lunatic.

0:58:29 > 0:58:32Never mind all that, come practise for carolling tonight.

0:58:32 > 0:58:35Carol singing. Are you out of your mind?

0:58:35 > 0:58:37In the middle of the night, in the freezing cold,

0:58:37 > 0:58:38collecting money from total strangers.

0:58:38 > 0:58:41I mean, a magnet for every gangster and hoodlum

0:58:41 > 0:58:43and mugger for miles around, and you...

0:58:43 > 0:58:47with a nine-year-old boy, you are seriously going to make him...

0:58:47 > 0:58:48Faith, the quiet.

0:58:49 > 0:58:51Nobody is going to hurt you

0:58:51 > 0:58:54because I'll be right there beside you.

0:58:54 > 0:58:55Now, are we going to go for a walk?

0:58:56 > 0:58:58What?

0:58:58 > 0:59:00To the mall. Going to walk to the mall?

0:59:00 > 0:59:03- It's like a couple of miles away. - That's right.

0:59:06 > 0:59:07You coming?

0:59:17 > 0:59:19Whoa.

0:59:20 > 0:59:22Oh, casualty.

0:59:23 > 0:59:26Look. I can do this. Look. I can do it.

0:59:28 > 0:59:31Thank you, Faith. How was your walk?

0:59:31 > 0:59:32Just a walk.

0:59:32 > 0:59:35Just an ordinary walk.

0:59:36 > 0:59:38It was a walk.

0:59:40 > 0:59:42PHONE RINGS

0:59:42 > 0:59:44Can somebody get that?

0:59:46 > 0:59:48Rodriguez residence.

0:59:48 > 0:59:53'Yes, hello. Can I speak with Grace Rodriguez, please?

0:59:53 > 0:59:55'My name is Charlene Davis.'

0:59:55 > 0:59:58No. No, you can't. It's a wrong number.

0:59:58 > 1:00:00- 'John, is that you?' - No, it is not.

1:00:00 > 1:00:02And you can't call here.

1:00:02 > 1:00:04What is going on over here? Give me the phone.

1:00:06 > 1:00:09- Hello?- 'I would like to speak with Grace...'

1:00:09 > 1:00:11I did not ask her to call, I don't know why she is calling.

1:00:11 > 1:00:16- Yes, it is me.- 'There is something that you need to know.'

1:00:16 > 1:00:17No, I do not want to know anything...

1:00:17 > 1:00:20'That whole scene in the garage...'

1:00:20 > 1:00:22Are you OK?

1:00:22 > 1:00:25Oh, sure, your mom is just talking to an old friend of mine.

1:00:25 > 1:00:30- Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? - No, it's going to ruin everything.

1:00:30 > 1:00:33- Cut the phone line.- I should have thought of that before.

1:00:33 > 1:00:38But it's too late. Sometimes, Zach, your fate is decided for you.

1:00:38 > 1:00:41Try to intervene and, you know, you make it worse.

1:00:41 > 1:00:43Bull.

1:00:43 > 1:00:44I beg your pardon?

1:00:44 > 1:00:48I didn't work this hard and come this far for you to give up.

1:00:48 > 1:00:49Get up!

1:00:52 > 1:00:54OK, good. Bye.

1:00:56 > 1:00:58I don't know how she got this number.

1:00:58 > 1:01:01- Were you together a long time?- Yes.

1:01:01 > 1:01:05- For a while. What did she say? - I told her the truth.

1:01:05 > 1:01:08That you and I are not together any more.

1:01:09 > 1:01:13- So that option is open if you want. - I don't want.

1:01:14 > 1:01:16Can we go somewhere to talk?

1:01:21 > 1:01:23There is nowhere to go.

1:01:23 > 1:01:27It's a full house, and there is nothing to talk about

1:01:27 > 1:01:29because that's in the past.

1:01:29 > 1:01:31- Right?- Right.

1:01:45 > 1:01:48OK, everybody, big houses means big contributions.

1:01:48 > 1:01:49Grace, what are we doing here?

1:01:49 > 1:01:53We are going to start with this one and then work our way down the block.

1:01:53 > 1:01:57- Are you serious? This is my parents' house.- We are here to spread joy.

1:01:57 > 1:02:02I can't think of a house that needs joy more than this one. Come on!

1:02:02 > 1:02:04# Please bring us some figgy pudding

1:02:04 > 1:02:06# Please bring us some figgy pudding

1:02:06 > 1:02:08# Please bring us some figgy pudding

1:02:08 > 1:02:10# Please bring it right here

1:02:10 > 1:02:13# We won't go until we get some

1:02:13 > 1:02:14# We won't go until we get some... #

1:02:14 > 1:02:16Go!

1:02:17 > 1:02:20Get off my property, don't come back!

1:02:24 > 1:02:27I'm sorry. We just don't do Christmas.

1:02:31 > 1:02:33Well. Win some, you lose some.

1:02:35 > 1:02:36Next house.

1:02:41 > 1:02:42I'm so sorry.

1:02:43 > 1:02:45Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

1:02:45 > 1:02:48- Not one of your best. - I know that this is hard for you.

1:02:49 > 1:02:51I don't care.

1:02:52 > 1:02:54I'll do anything, Grace.

1:02:54 > 1:02:57I'll even wear this really, really uncomfortable beard.

1:03:04 > 1:03:06I love you, Grace.

1:03:06 > 1:03:08I know you don't want to hear that,

1:03:08 > 1:03:10and obviously you can't respond to it.

1:03:13 > 1:03:14Come on.

1:03:30 > 1:03:34- Well, I'm ready to tuck in. - So it's three to a bed?

1:03:34 > 1:03:36Oh, that is Mr Pongo.

1:03:36 > 1:03:39I'll go this side, you go that side, he goes in the middle.

1:03:39 > 1:03:40All right?

1:03:40 > 1:03:44Well, he better not get fresh, cos if he does, I'll smack you both.

1:03:54 > 1:03:56HE SIGHS

1:04:05 > 1:04:06SHE GROANS

1:04:06 > 1:04:08- Sh.- Hi.- (Hi.)

1:04:10 > 1:04:13- Oh, no, no, I've got to, um... - No, no, no, no.

1:04:13 > 1:04:16Yes, I have to finish Zach's stocking.

1:04:16 > 1:04:18It's OK, I'll do it for you. Just go to sleep, OK?

1:04:22 > 1:04:26- Merry Christmas.- (Yeah.)

1:05:21 > 1:05:24Come on, come on, better get up, come on, come, it's Christmas!

1:05:24 > 1:05:26Get up, go!

1:05:28 > 1:05:29Good heavens!

1:05:46 > 1:05:49- Snowman, we go've got to build a snowman!- Snowman.

1:05:57 > 1:05:59Oh-ho!

1:05:59 > 1:06:01LAUGHTER

1:06:04 > 1:06:05- Oh, that can't be his real hair. - It is now.

1:06:05 > 1:06:08He paid good money at a bad wig shop.

1:06:09 > 1:06:10- Oh!- Why... Ah!

1:06:13 > 1:06:16Take this!

1:06:16 > 1:06:21Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Duty calls. Truce, truce!

1:06:21 > 1:06:24Your man has come to save you.

1:06:29 > 1:06:34Hey, everybody. Enjoy.

1:06:37 > 1:06:40- Emelia!- A woman can get tired of black.- Champagne!

1:06:40 > 1:06:42I brought some, just waiting for an excuse.

1:06:42 > 1:06:46- - Well, you look fantastic. - Would you like my other knee.- No!

1:06:46 > 1:06:47KNOCK ON DOOR

1:06:47 > 1:06:49I'll get it.

1:06:53 > 1:06:57Oh, no, Charlene. (Please, you have to go.)

1:06:57 > 1:06:59- No, she doesn't.- What?

1:07:00 > 1:07:06Everybody, this is Charlene. Zach, help her with her coat.

1:07:08 > 1:07:10- Uh, this is my grandma. - Why are you doing this?

1:07:10 > 1:07:13She's alone at Christmas.

1:07:13 > 1:07:17Alone. So I invited her here.

1:07:17 > 1:07:20- You make yourself at home. - Oh, and this is Charlie.

1:07:22 > 1:07:30- Hi.- Eh, Ch-Charlie.- Charlene. - No, Charlie.- No, I'm Charlene.

1:07:30 > 1:07:34- Oh, I see! Charlie - Charlene. - Charlene.

1:07:34 > 1:07:38- Well, the other way around of course!- Oh, you're Charlie.

1:07:38 > 1:07:40Ignore me, I'm English!

1:07:40 > 1:07:42Totally zzzeh!

1:07:42 > 1:07:44I still drive on the wrong side of the road sometimes,

1:07:44 > 1:07:47that's how I got the bump, in the car!

1:07:47 > 1:07:51- The one outside? The classic? - You like cars?

1:07:51 > 1:07:54- Daddy was a race mechanic. - I've got tons of them.

1:07:54 > 1:07:56- (Faith.)- Yeah? Oh, yeah.

1:07:58 > 1:08:00Uh, OK, you're going to hate this.

1:08:00 > 1:08:04You know we haven't shared a room since we were kids?

1:08:04 > 1:08:10- It's OK, I'll come in with you. - You will?- Sure. And I love you.

1:08:10 > 1:08:14- Did that sound all right?- Uh...yes.

1:08:14 > 1:08:17- I love you too.- Great.

1:08:20 > 1:08:22Yeah.

1:08:22 > 1:08:24Oh, I love antiques.

1:08:24 > 1:08:26Well, you should see my place, it's loaded with them.

1:08:26 > 1:08:31Well, the house here is, the place in Monaco is all modern.

1:08:31 > 1:08:33Monaco? You have a place in Monaco?

1:08:33 > 1:08:36Wait a minute. Charlene, he snores.

1:08:36 > 1:08:39Oh, do you? My first boyfriend did that. You know how I cured him?

1:08:39 > 1:08:40No.

1:08:42 > 1:08:48- Oh, really?! Did that work?- Yeah! - Well, I can't wait to try that.

1:08:48 > 1:08:50Say, do you like champagne?

1:08:51 > 1:08:52I adore champagne.

1:08:53 > 1:08:55Come along then!

1:08:55 > 1:08:57SHE LAUGHS

1:09:02 > 1:09:07- Grace.- I'm really busy right now. - This is it. It's here.- Yeah.

1:09:07 > 1:09:11- The big day.- Right.- You should enjoy it. Can't you stop for a minute?

1:09:11 > 1:09:12No, I can't.

1:09:14 > 1:09:17John, please. There's nothing that you can do.

1:09:19 > 1:09:23When I was a kid, Christmas was magic.

1:09:23 > 1:09:26We had Mom and Dad, and everything was warm and safe,

1:09:26 > 1:09:30nothing bad would happen, and I would just be happy for ever.

1:09:31 > 1:09:32I want that for Zachary.

1:09:33 > 1:09:38And me, well, I... This time of year, I just hurt a little.

1:09:38 > 1:09:42- For him?- For the man I lost. For the life I lost.

1:09:42 > 1:09:46- The family that I should have had. - So you should let it out.

1:09:46 > 1:09:48I can't...allow myself to.

1:09:50 > 1:09:53That's why I fill my house with tinsel and invite people over and...

1:09:53 > 1:09:54And it works.

1:09:55 > 1:09:58I've seen things here I can't believe.

1:09:58 > 1:10:02I've done things I've never done. Even as a kid.

1:10:03 > 1:10:09I share and I care, and I give, and I risk, and I join.

1:10:09 > 1:10:12And I enjoy it. I can never do that.

1:10:13 > 1:10:17- I never had to.- Oh, John. You've always been the good guy.

1:10:17 > 1:10:21You make magic, Grace. For everybody, especially for me.

1:10:21 > 1:10:24Can't I share some of it with you?

1:10:24 > 1:10:26DOORBELL RINGS

1:10:26 > 1:10:32- What on earth?- No more house guests, OK? We don't have room.

1:10:35 > 1:10:38- What's going on? - John, it's your mother.

1:10:38 > 1:10:41- Oh, no...- John?!

1:10:41 > 1:10:43I can't stand it any more. I left him.

1:10:43 > 1:10:46We had such an argument, worse than ever.

1:10:46 > 1:10:49That's it, I am done, I am finished with him!

1:10:49 > 1:10:51You're going to have to look after me now.

1:10:51 > 1:10:54Well, what do you want me to do? This isn't my house!

1:10:54 > 1:10:56I don't know, take me to a motel.

1:10:56 > 1:10:58- No, you'll stay here. - I couldn't possibly...

1:10:58 > 1:11:01- Are you out of your mind? - End of discussion.

1:11:01 > 1:11:04My house is your house. You will stay with us.

1:11:04 > 1:11:06That's very...kind.

1:11:06 > 1:11:07Grace, you can't be serious?!

1:11:07 > 1:11:09Emilia Rodriguez. How do you do?

1:11:09 > 1:11:10Agnes Brooking.

1:11:10 > 1:11:13Do you want coffee, or a drink, or one in the other?

1:11:13 > 1:11:17- Just a coffee.- You shut up.- He's right, I probably shouldn't drink.

1:11:19 > 1:11:21Zach, your room...

1:11:21 > 1:11:23No way. I'll take the sofa.

1:11:23 > 1:11:25- Thank you, Thomas.- You're welcome.

1:11:25 > 1:11:28Oh, my goodness. Look at all these decorations.

1:11:28 > 1:11:31- It's Christmas!- Well, I know that!

1:11:31 > 1:11:35This is my son Zachary. We do all of this for him.

1:11:35 > 1:11:37You mean, you go to all this trouble?

1:11:37 > 1:11:40- DOORBELL RINGS - Wish you'd done the same for me.

1:11:40 > 1:11:41John! BANGING ON THE DOOR

1:11:41 > 1:11:45- Oh! It's him! He's come to get me. - HARRY:- Open up right now!

1:11:45 > 1:11:47Please, don't open the door.

1:11:47 > 1:11:49OK, I'll do it. It's my dad. I'm responsible.

1:11:49 > 1:11:52- Not you! That's not going to help. - I'll handle it.

1:11:52 > 1:11:54No! Not you either. Just everybody stay put.

1:11:54 > 1:11:55This is MY house.

1:11:55 > 1:11:58Stand down, gentlemen. She's tougher than both of you.

1:11:58 > 1:12:01Open up! Open up right...

1:12:03 > 1:12:04My wife's in there.

1:12:04 > 1:12:08- So is your son.- I don't care about him! Just get her out here!

1:12:08 > 1:12:09She's left you.

1:12:09 > 1:12:14She wouldn't dare leave me. I gave her everything she's got. Him too.

1:12:14 > 1:12:17The un...grateful!

1:12:17 > 1:12:19You were mean to her.

1:12:19 > 1:12:22Mean?! The world's mean!

1:12:22 > 1:12:25She's had long enough to get used to that.

1:12:25 > 1:12:26You were mean to John too.

1:12:26 > 1:12:29When you sent me into that garage, you knew what I would find.

1:12:29 > 1:12:33Don't you lecture me...woman!

1:12:33 > 1:12:37I know what this is.

1:12:37 > 1:12:42All this...rrrgh... cosy Christmas crap!

1:12:42 > 1:12:44Christmas is a lie.

1:12:44 > 1:12:46It builds your hopes up every year.

1:12:46 > 1:12:51You think maybe this year will be different, but it's always the same.

1:12:51 > 1:12:53He's going to explode. I've seen it before.

1:12:53 > 1:12:56- Somebody should get out there and help her.- No, wait.

1:12:56 > 1:12:59You can change. Your son did.

1:12:59 > 1:13:03My...son?

1:13:03 > 1:13:06What kind of a son is he?

1:13:06 > 1:13:11Ran away from me! First chance he had.

1:13:11 > 1:13:13He never understood!

1:13:14 > 1:13:20He's damn lucky compared to what my dad did to me!

1:13:20 > 1:13:23Just get out here, I've got to talk to her...

1:13:25 > 1:13:27What are you doing? Let go of me.

1:13:27 > 1:13:30They can love you if you just let them.

1:13:30 > 1:13:32I sure wouldn't have tried that.

1:13:32 > 1:13:36It's too late. It's all too late.

1:13:36 > 1:13:38No. No, it's not.

1:13:38 > 1:13:41Just give it a chance, Mr Brooking.

1:13:41 > 1:13:43Oh...

1:13:45 > 1:13:48- I'd better... I'd better go.- No, no.

1:13:48 > 1:13:50Agnes is waiting.

1:13:52 > 1:13:55Come inside. Please, Mr Brooking.

1:14:01 > 1:14:02Come on in.

1:14:11 > 1:14:13Agnes, I came to bring you home.

1:14:13 > 1:14:15No, you came to stay.

1:14:15 > 1:14:18You're not going back to that house. You two will have to share a room.

1:14:18 > 1:14:21- We don't share.- Yes, you do.

1:14:21 > 1:14:23Yes, this house is also an old-fashioned house,

1:14:23 > 1:14:26and married couples, they stay together.

1:14:26 > 1:14:28If you argue, I'm not going to throw you out.

1:14:28 > 1:14:32No. I'm just going to hit you with something.

1:14:32 > 1:14:34So, do you think you two can get along?

1:14:34 > 1:14:37- I guess we could try.- Very good.

1:14:37 > 1:14:39What the heck is this place?

1:14:39 > 1:14:42This is paradise, old chap.

1:14:42 > 1:14:44Welcome to paradise.

1:14:44 > 1:14:45GLASS CLINKS

1:14:45 > 1:14:49Hi, Mr Brooking. Would you like to see some of the gifts I got?

1:14:49 > 1:14:51This one is a Zykline Tri-Blaster.

1:14:51 > 1:14:54It shoots a precise amount of water at a very long range

1:14:54 > 1:14:56- with EXCELLENT accuracy. - Is that right?

1:14:56 > 1:14:59- Yeah, come on, I'll show you. - I guess we're staying.

1:15:00 > 1:15:04Are you kidding me? It's hard enough to be in the same house

1:15:04 > 1:15:06with the woman I love who rejects me,

1:15:06 > 1:15:09but now I've got your ex-ex-boyfriend, my ex-girlfriend,

1:15:09 > 1:15:11your sister, who disapproves of me,

1:15:11 > 1:15:13your mother-in-law, who despises me,

1:15:13 > 1:15:16an ex-soldier who thinks I'm a cupcake,

1:15:16 > 1:15:18and now we've got both of my parents

1:15:18 > 1:15:21in whose presence I find it hard to even breathe.

1:15:21 > 1:15:23Am I just some kind of stooge for your amusement,

1:15:23 > 1:15:27or are you really just trying to make it impossible for me to stay?

1:15:27 > 1:15:29Maybe I am.

1:15:29 > 1:15:32Or maybe you still just don't get it.

1:15:32 > 1:15:34Just don't get what?

1:15:34 > 1:15:36Christmas.

1:15:54 > 1:15:56Are you OK?

1:15:57 > 1:16:00Just keeping my head down. You?

1:16:01 > 1:16:06Well, sometimes it's kind of hard, you know. I kind of feel sad.

1:16:06 > 1:16:08You know...

1:16:08 > 1:16:10Because your dad's not here?

1:16:10 > 1:16:11Yeah.

1:16:11 > 1:16:15But I've got to keep smiling because of Mom and Grandma.

1:16:16 > 1:16:20They don't talk about him. Have you noticed? Not at Christmas.

1:16:20 > 1:16:25Zach, they think about him all the time.

1:16:28 > 1:16:32It's not going to work out, you and Mom, is it?

1:16:33 > 1:16:35I don't think so.

1:16:37 > 1:16:41- Not such a great Christmas after all.- No, hey, you're wrong.

1:16:41 > 1:16:44This might be the first...

1:16:44 > 1:16:49the first one that I've ever enjoyed.

1:16:51 > 1:16:56Go talk to your grandma about your dad. I think she'd like that.

1:16:59 > 1:17:00OK.

1:17:13 > 1:17:16CHATTER FROM THE NEXT ROOM

1:17:19 > 1:17:20DOOR OPENS

1:17:26 > 1:17:27OK.

1:17:28 > 1:17:30I think we're ready. Bring them in.

1:17:32 > 1:17:33- There you are.- Thank you.

1:17:43 > 1:17:44Oh, my goodness!

1:17:46 > 1:17:47Uh...

1:17:50 > 1:17:53Uh, John, can you do us the honours?

1:17:53 > 1:17:55Tonight I can do anything.

1:18:05 > 1:18:07EVERYONE TALKS

1:18:10 > 1:18:13LAUGHTER

1:18:13 > 1:18:16- Can I try?- Look at you. - Look at your magnifying glass.

1:18:16 > 1:18:22- I love you.- Don't say that. - Can't I say what I feel?

1:18:22 > 1:18:24What am I supposed to say?

1:18:24 > 1:18:26You're supposed to behave like a grown-up,

1:18:26 > 1:18:28not like some obstinate ass.

1:18:28 > 1:18:32Calling me names is going to solve things, is it?

1:18:32 > 1:18:35What's the matter with you?

1:18:35 > 1:18:38You are the matter with me. You always have been.

1:18:38 > 1:18:42Why I ever, ever said yes when you asked me to marry you, I don't know.

1:18:42 > 1:18:45Blame me for everything like you always do...

1:18:48 > 1:18:50WATER SQUIRTS

1:18:50 > 1:18:51- Oh!- Zachary!

1:18:51 > 1:18:53- I'm responsible. - What?

1:18:53 > 1:18:57I told him to do it. I've wanted to do that ever since my childhood.

1:18:57 > 1:18:58I just never had the courage.

1:18:59 > 1:19:01- Young man...- Sir.

1:19:10 > 1:19:12Reload.

1:19:13 > 1:19:16It's going to be hard learning the ways, but if...

1:19:18 > 1:19:21..if we forget ourselves again, you be sure to use that thing.

1:19:23 > 1:19:24I apologise.

1:19:26 > 1:19:28Agnes, I'm sorry.

1:19:37 > 1:19:39- OK.- Look at this!

1:19:39 > 1:19:41Zach, don't touch it.

1:19:41 > 1:19:43THEY APPLAUD

1:19:43 > 1:19:46- Thank you.- I take all the credit.

1:19:46 > 1:19:49Aw, you're welcome, honey.

1:19:49 > 1:19:51We just have to wait until it cools down before we can dig in.

1:19:51 > 1:19:53- What is this?- Wow!

1:19:55 > 1:19:58Bears. I love bears.

1:19:58 > 1:20:01Talk amongst yourselves until it's ready.

1:20:03 > 1:20:05OK, just leave it.

1:20:06 > 1:20:08- Charlene.- It's so delicious. Really?

1:20:08 > 1:20:10Charlene!

1:20:13 > 1:20:14Charlene, I...

1:20:14 > 1:20:15Yes?

1:20:15 > 1:20:17I wear...

1:20:17 > 1:20:18a wig.

1:20:20 > 1:20:21I...

1:20:21 > 1:20:24adore bald men!

1:20:26 > 1:20:30So, we won't be needing this any more.

1:20:30 > 1:20:32Charlie, you look great.

1:20:32 > 1:20:35Well, I polish up rather well.

1:20:35 > 1:20:36Oh, I can't wait to do that!

1:20:38 > 1:20:40All right, I propose a toast.

1:20:42 > 1:20:44- But to what?- To love.

1:20:44 > 1:20:46To the world.

1:20:47 > 1:20:48To the future.

1:20:48 > 1:20:50To peace.

1:20:50 > 1:20:56Yep. Those are all good. But I'd like to propose a toast...

1:20:58 > 1:20:59..to Jose Rodriguez.

1:21:01 > 1:21:02The hero who I never met.

1:21:04 > 1:21:08And who should be here today with his wife and with his son.

1:21:08 > 1:21:11To Jose Rodriguez.

1:21:11 > 1:21:12ALL: Jose Rodriguez.

1:21:12 > 1:21:13GRACE: To Daddy.

1:21:16 > 1:21:19No,

1:21:19 > 1:21:21Jose won't be here to love Grace...

1:21:23 > 1:21:28..to show Zach how to play ball, to comfort Emelia as she grows older.

1:21:28 > 1:21:33But I am here. And I want to be able to do all of that.

1:21:33 > 1:21:36I know I'm never going to take Jose's place in your heart.

1:21:38 > 1:21:40But I want my own place in there.

1:21:43 > 1:21:44So...

1:21:47 > 1:21:48..Grace...

1:21:49 > 1:21:53..I want you to be my wife.

1:21:53 > 1:21:56I can't believe that you're asking me in front of everyone here,

1:21:56 > 1:21:59like this, are you trying to ruin Christmas? I...

1:21:59 > 1:22:03I never know what it meant before you showed me.

1:22:03 > 1:22:07And I want to share it with you and with Zach

1:22:07 > 1:22:10and with all our future children, and I want to share in the love

1:22:10 > 1:22:12of it, and the grief of it,

1:22:12 > 1:22:17and the good and the bad, for the rest of our lives.

1:22:17 > 1:22:20And one day, when our children have children,

1:22:20 > 1:22:22I want to sit at the end of the table...

1:22:24 > 1:22:26..right where my parents are sitting right now,

1:22:26 > 1:22:29and I want to remember you just like you are now...

1:22:30 > 1:22:33..and know that I made the best decision of my life

1:22:33 > 1:22:36on the best day of the year.

1:22:36 > 1:22:38But it's your decision, too.

1:22:40 > 1:22:43So I'm going to go outside and I'll wait for your answer.

1:22:48 > 1:22:52I... I am so sorry.

1:22:52 > 1:22:55He knows the answer to this. Um...

1:22:56 > 1:22:59I'm going to go outside and straighten it out.

1:23:02 > 1:23:04If I were you, I'd be scared.

1:23:06 > 1:23:08Scared he might turn out to be like his father.

1:23:08 > 1:23:12Well, he's not me and I'm glad.

1:23:14 > 1:23:17Because he'd be a damn sight better husband

1:23:17 > 1:23:18than I've ever been.

1:23:18 > 1:23:23Sometimes a woman gives her heart and sometimes a man takes it.

1:23:24 > 1:23:27Let him take it, I know he will look after it.

1:23:30 > 1:23:33I think that Christmas is a time of forgiveness.

1:23:33 > 1:23:36Oh, no, that was a misunderstanding,

1:23:36 > 1:23:38there's nothing to forgive John for.

1:23:38 > 1:23:39Oh, no, I didn't mean that.

1:23:39 > 1:23:43I meant, you need to forgive yourself.

1:23:43 > 1:23:47What happened to you, to Jose, it wasn't your fault.

1:23:47 > 1:23:52You deserve to be happy, I mean, we all do. Even me.

1:23:52 > 1:23:53Right?

1:23:55 > 1:23:57Since we're all chipping in,

1:23:57 > 1:24:01I never believed in love at first sight.

1:24:01 > 1:24:03Until it happened to me.

1:24:04 > 1:24:06That's why I was so very jealous of John,

1:24:06 > 1:24:10because it was obvious from the moment you met, you loved him.

1:24:10 > 1:24:16I don't know you, Grace, but I do know John. At least, I did.

1:24:17 > 1:24:21Most women marry a man and then they try to change him.

1:24:21 > 1:24:23That was my plan.

1:24:23 > 1:24:27But you performed a miracle.

1:24:27 > 1:24:29You changed him first.

1:24:29 > 1:24:31So, why not marry him?

1:24:33 > 1:24:35I know what you want.

1:24:37 > 1:24:38You and Zach want Jose.

1:24:41 > 1:24:42But you can't have what you want.

1:24:45 > 1:24:49John will always think he's second best unless you tell him different.

1:24:51 > 1:24:53But what he's done here tonight...

1:24:54 > 1:24:57..is braver than anything I ever did.

1:24:58 > 1:25:02So I reckon he can deal with that. Maybe you should ask Jose.

1:25:02 > 1:25:05- What do you think he would say? - I know.

1:25:05 > 1:25:07He would say yes.

1:25:08 > 1:25:11He always said yes to life

1:25:11 > 1:25:13and it's time you did the same.

1:25:14 > 1:25:18What does it matter what any of us think? We're not important.

1:25:20 > 1:25:21But you are, Zachary.

1:25:23 > 1:25:24What do you think?

1:25:37 > 1:25:38It's snowing again.

1:25:38 > 1:25:40Yeah.

1:25:44 > 1:25:46Everybody told me to say no.

1:25:48 > 1:25:51And they're all wrong?

1:25:51 > 1:25:53How many kids do you want?

1:25:53 > 1:25:55How many rooms do you have?

1:25:57 > 1:25:59I'm pregnant.

1:25:59 > 1:26:00I know.

1:26:01 > 1:26:02Faith let it slip.

1:26:02 > 1:26:06She didn't mean to and I didn't want to say anything

1:26:06 > 1:26:09because I didn't want you to think that was the only reason why

1:26:09 > 1:26:10I came back.

1:26:10 > 1:26:13I think it's the most beautiful thing in the world.

1:26:13 > 1:26:17But that's not the reason why I want you to say yes to me.

1:26:17 > 1:26:18Why should I say yes?

1:26:20 > 1:26:24Because it's freezing. And I've been out in the cold my whole life.

1:26:26 > 1:26:27And now I want to come inside.

1:26:29 > 1:26:30With you.

1:26:30 > 1:26:34That, in there, it's really what you want?

1:26:36 > 1:26:39It still scares me but, yes,

1:26:39 > 1:26:41I want that in there.

1:26:45 > 1:26:48And I want that in here.

1:26:51 > 1:26:53That's really scary.

1:26:55 > 1:26:56And if I say no?

1:26:58 > 1:27:02My bags are in the car. I drive away.

1:27:02 > 1:27:03SHE SIGHS

1:27:07 > 1:27:09I lied.

1:27:11 > 1:27:14They all told me to say yes.

1:27:16 > 1:27:18Including Emelia.

1:27:18 > 1:27:20Wow!

1:27:20 > 1:27:22And Zach?

1:27:23 > 1:27:26Zach said that you would make the best dad in the whole world.

1:27:28 > 1:27:29I'll settle for second best.

1:27:31 > 1:27:33Can you?

1:27:45 > 1:27:47I won't settle for second best.

1:27:47 > 1:27:49FRONT DOOR OPENS AGAIN

1:27:49 > 1:27:51And John never will be.

1:27:51 > 1:27:54THEY WHOOP

1:27:56 > 1:27:58- I love you.- Good.

1:27:58 > 1:27:59Ah. Mmm...

1:28:01 > 1:28:05Oh! Zachary, don't look!

1:28:07 > 1:28:09You take a good long look, kid,

1:28:09 > 1:28:12because that right there...

1:28:12 > 1:28:14that's what Christmas is all about.

1:28:14 > 1:28:17Love and family. Come on.

1:28:20 > 1:28:23- Merry...- What?- Merry Christmas.

1:28:23 > 1:28:24What?!

1:28:24 > 1:28:28What did you just say?

1:28:28 > 1:28:30Mom!

1:28:39 > 1:28:41Ah, come here, you old grump!

1:28:45 > 1:28:52I wish everybody a very Merry Christmas.

1:28:52 > 1:28:55ALL: Merry Christmas.