The 51st State

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07This film contains some violent scenes and very strong language.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23DOOR OPENS AND KEYS JINGLE

0:00:25 > 0:00:27ENGINE STARTS

0:00:29 > 0:00:31- MAN:- Yeah. Heh-heh.

0:00:33 > 0:00:34MUSIC: "Them Changes" by Buddy Miles

0:00:48 > 0:00:53# Well, my mind is going through them changes

0:00:53 > 0:00:57# I feel just like committing a crime

0:00:58 > 0:01:01# Every time you see me going somewhere

0:01:02 > 0:01:06# I know I'm going out of my mind Yeah

0:01:06 > 0:01:10# Oh, my baby, she left me the other day

0:01:10 > 0:01:13# And we were having a lot of fun

0:01:14 > 0:01:18# Oh, she know I just loved her so

0:01:18 > 0:01:22# And that's the reason why she had to run

0:01:23 > 0:01:27# It's all right Girl, you're all I need

0:01:27 > 0:01:31# It's all right What I say...? #

0:01:31 > 0:01:32HE COUGHS

0:01:36 > 0:01:37SIREN WAILS

0:01:39 > 0:01:43# Well, my mind is going through so many changes

0:01:43 > 0:01:45# I'm going right out of my mind

0:01:47 > 0:01:50# Every time you see me going somewhere

0:01:51 > 0:01:53# I could commit a big old crime. #

0:01:53 > 0:01:59I mean, rules are like...arbitrary, you know? Made up for people

0:01:59 > 0:02:04who believe in fairy tales, like... You know, like... Like Santa Claus.

0:02:04 > 0:02:09Hey, but not us, right? I mean, we know what's important.

0:02:10 > 0:02:14There's a war going on, man. A war!

0:02:14 > 0:02:16Ain't that a bitch?

0:02:16 > 0:02:18HE SUCKS TEETH

0:02:18 > 0:02:21I just graduated today, man.

0:02:21 > 0:02:22With honours.

0:02:22 > 0:02:27Got my degree in... In pharmacology. I'm licensed.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33Look, if you write me up on this drug charge,

0:02:33 > 0:02:35I won't be able to practise.

0:02:35 > 0:02:40So what we're talking about here is my life. The rest of it.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH

0:03:02 > 0:03:03HE COUGHS

0:03:13 > 0:03:15The '60s are over...man.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26MUSIC: "Shamrocks And Shenanigans" by House of Pain

0:03:26 > 0:03:28# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:03:28 > 0:03:30# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:03:30 > 0:03:33# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:03:33 > 0:03:35# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:03:35 > 0:03:37# I kicks the flava like Stephen King writes horror

0:03:37 > 0:03:40# If I was a Jew, then I'd light a menorah

0:03:40 > 0:03:42# I got rhymes for ya Excuse me, senora

0:03:42 > 0:03:44# Are you a whore, or are you a lady?

0:03:44 > 0:03:47# Is it Erica Boyare or Marcia Brady?

0:03:47 > 0:03:49# Let me know, hon The deed'll get done

0:03:49 > 0:03:52# Just assume the position, I'll take my rod and then I'll go fishing

0:03:52 > 0:03:54# I'll get your river flowing

0:03:54 > 0:03:56# I'm always in the know when it comes to giving pleasure

0:03:56 > 0:03:57# I'm every woman's treasure

0:03:57 > 0:03:58# The cartoon boom sha lock lock

0:03:58 > 0:04:00# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:04:00 > 0:04:03# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:04:03 > 0:04:04# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:04:04 > 0:04:07# Boom sha lock lock boom!

0:04:07 > 0:04:10# Breaker, breaker, here comes the caper... #

0:04:10 > 0:04:12MUSIC: " Getcha Ass Up" by Headrillaz Feat Blade

0:04:26 > 0:04:28# Blade, Blade, Blade

0:04:28 > 0:04:30# Body bag... #

0:04:30 > 0:04:33- MAN:- Jody and Nick, you have come together in this church

0:04:33 > 0:04:35so that the Lord may seal...

0:04:45 > 0:04:47# Yo! You got to take it like I give it

0:04:47 > 0:04:49# I write it how I see

0:04:49 > 0:04:50# I been living

0:04:50 > 0:04:52# Been places you couldn't be

0:04:52 > 0:04:54# Took the road less travelled I dabbled in weight

0:04:54 > 0:04:56# Learned the art of Wu, like, trust me, dabbled in hate

0:04:56 > 0:04:58# Now everybody hit the gravel... #

0:05:01 > 0:05:03SUDDEN CHATTER

0:05:04 > 0:05:08- FEMALE REPORTER:- Is it true this is the biggest deal you've cut with the FBI?

0:05:20 > 0:05:21SCREAMING

0:05:28 > 0:05:31I now pronounce you man and wife.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36APPLAUSE, SMALL GASP

0:05:42 > 0:05:44CHURCH BELL TOLLS

0:05:52 > 0:05:56- PHONE RINGS - Aren't you supposed to be in court?

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Case adjourned. They just seemed to run fresh out of witnesses.

0:06:02 > 0:06:05Ah, frees up The Lizard for his other business.

0:06:05 > 0:06:10100 large has been deducted from your account as promised.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13Can The Lizard offer a suggestion on how she can, er...

0:06:15 > 0:06:16..work off the rest of her debt?

0:06:16 > 0:06:19The Lizard may not.

0:06:36 > 0:06:37Go.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40Believe me, you'll thank me later. Let's go.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43No more free meals. Let's go.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Christ! It's like a reptile house in here.

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Fuck off!

0:07:13 > 0:07:15BEEPING

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Ah. Mix-Master.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26To our star chemist, gentlemen. Elmo McElroy.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Where's Durant?

0:07:34 > 0:07:36I see five. I don't see the Brit.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Where the fuck is he at?

0:07:38 > 0:07:40He said he'd be here.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43Limey faggot needs a lesson in manners.

0:07:43 > 0:07:44Fuck Durant.

0:07:44 > 0:07:47Just tell us about this new wonder drug.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Get your master chemist in here.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50OK.

0:07:50 > 0:07:51Konokko, fetch him.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Fetch The Lizard's Elmo.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56# Let me tell you 'bout what I love in Gina

0:07:56 > 0:07:59# Love is like no other Couldn't get in between her

0:07:59 > 0:08:02# Always stay fly, man l wish that you'd seen her

0:08:02 > 0:08:04# Said they had a scheme but nobody believed her

0:08:04 > 0:08:06# No real job cos she stay in the streets

0:08:06 > 0:08:08# Gina did nails but her love made beats

0:08:08 > 0:08:11# When they wanna eat, they just walk in the store

0:08:11 > 0:08:14# They took what they wanted, man, the illest you saw

0:08:14 > 0:08:16# Come on, take the money and run

0:08:18 > 0:08:21# Come on, take the money and run

0:08:21 > 0:08:23# Hey, hey, hey

0:08:24 > 0:08:26# Come on, take the money and run

0:08:26 > 0:08:28# That's what I say

0:08:28 > 0:08:30# Come on, take the money and run... #

0:08:37 > 0:08:40No Durant...

0:08:40 > 0:08:42no McElroy.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Maybe he went out for something.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51Nobody goes out for something on deal day!

0:08:51 > 0:08:55Now, stop your whining, get up off your ass and go find him!

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Now!

0:08:56 > 0:08:58Argh!

0:08:58 > 0:09:00HE CHUCKLES

0:09:02 > 0:09:04Just give me a moment.

0:09:07 > 0:09:08RINGS, SIZZLING

0:09:13 > 0:09:16'This is Elmo McElroy's phone. He's not home.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19'You know what to do, you know when to do it.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21'Bye.'

0:09:25 > 0:09:26Tasty Drops?

0:09:31 > 0:09:34He fucked me! I'm truly ass-invaded!

0:09:53 > 0:09:55'You have one new message.'

0:09:57 > 0:10:00'He fucked me. I'm truly ass-invaded.'

0:10:00 > 0:10:02'EXPLOSION'

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Rest in peace...

0:10:09 > 0:10:11..motherfucker.

0:10:14 > 0:10:16MUSIC: "Good Fortune" by PJ Harvey

0:10:21 > 0:10:24# Threw my bad fortune off the top of... #

0:10:24 > 0:10:26PHONE RINGS

0:10:29 > 0:10:31You're going home, Dakota.

0:10:31 > 0:10:33- I'm going to Vegas. - You listen to me.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37There's this limey asshole in Liverpool

0:10:37 > 0:10:39named Durant.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42He was supposed to show up for this little deal we had going on today.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44He didn't show up.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46The Lizard thinks he stole his Elmo.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49I'm not going back. I don't care how much I owe you.

0:10:49 > 0:10:50Listen to me, Dakota.

0:10:50 > 0:10:54I want this limey motherfucker Durant off the fucking planet

0:10:54 > 0:10:57and I want fucking Elmo fucking McElroy

0:10:57 > 0:11:01- off the fucking planet! - 'Did you hear what I just said?'

0:11:01 > 0:11:03That place has nothing to offer me.

0:11:03 > 0:11:04The Lizard...

0:11:05 > 0:11:09..will wipe your marker clean.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Plus a bonus - £100,000

0:11:16 > 0:11:19if the job is done in 48 hours.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22And after that, there is nothing to stop you

0:11:22 > 0:11:26from turning right around and leaving again.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29250.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32Get it done.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34It's done.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Shit!

0:11:54 > 0:11:57'I would like to extend a very warm welcome to each of you

0:11:57 > 0:12:00'on behalf of all the crew on this Virgin Atlantic flight.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02'Please store carry-on baggage...'

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Can I show you to your seat, sir?

0:12:42 > 0:12:44ENGINES WHINE

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Spit it out. Spit it out now!

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Tommy?

0:13:56 > 0:13:57SHE HUFFS

0:13:57 > 0:13:59What?

0:14:02 > 0:14:03What?

0:14:11 > 0:14:14- LIVERPUDLIAN ACCENT:- Fuckin' Yanks.

0:14:14 > 0:14:19The trouble with the fuckin' Yanks is, they've no fuckin' sense.

0:14:19 > 0:14:20Had some dick in Los Angeles

0:14:20 > 0:14:23actually ask me where I learnt English.

0:14:23 > 0:14:24English? Fuck!

0:14:24 > 0:14:26Do you have a problem with America, Felix?

0:14:26 > 0:14:32Oh, yeah. I've got one great big, fat, swollen fucker of a problem with America, twat!

0:14:32 > 0:14:35Listen to this. I'm in fuckin' Florida, right?

0:14:36 > 0:14:39This Southern prat comes up and he's like, er...

0:14:39 > 0:14:43"Hey, England's small. You must know that John fuckin' Smith guy, right?"

0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Fuckin' Smith! - CAMPTOWN RACES RINGTONE

0:14:45 > 0:14:48I'm like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, mate, that's right. John Smith.

0:14:48 > 0:14:52"Yeah, I do know him, but he doesn't come from England, mate.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55- "No, he comes from fuckin'... - BOTH: Pricksville, USA!"

0:14:57 > 0:15:00PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

0:15:00 > 0:15:03- You going to answer the fuckin' phone or what?- It's just my wife.

0:15:03 > 0:15:08Now, when Mr McElroy joins us, I'd be pleased if you kept your opinions to yourself.

0:15:08 > 0:15:13This particular Yank is not a travelling salesman. He's a genius, hmm?

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Who is this cunt?

0:15:17 > 0:15:23So I said to Mr Durant, I said, "Mr Durant, we go and meet this fuckin' Yank McElroy,

0:15:23 > 0:15:25"bring him to the deal and that's it."

0:15:25 > 0:15:27None of this fuckin' conversation-and-coffee bollocks.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30None of this asking him how the Tampa Bay Fuckin'-eers are doing.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32No, I said, "Fuck him.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36"I'll bring him to the deal, I get my fuckin' tickets and I'm off. That's it."

0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Take a left up here. - There's no time for this.

0:15:41 > 0:15:42Take a fuckin' left!

0:15:48 > 0:15:50FOOTBALL CHANTS

0:15:56 > 0:15:59Felix! Felix, listen!

0:15:59 > 0:16:01This is a totally new chemical.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Once we have the formula, we could make this stuff in a kitchen.

0:16:04 > 0:16:05We don't even need Durant.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Look. You see that?

0:16:10 > 0:16:14That's tomorrow. Blokes are shagging their mothers-in-law to get a ticket

0:16:14 > 0:16:16and I'm getting two from Mr Durant.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19So unless you can shite out a couple of tickets on the spot,

0:16:19 > 0:16:21I suggest you shut the fuck up.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24But this is a unique window of opportunity for you.

0:16:24 > 0:16:28- We are talking telephone numbers! - Ah, enough. Take care of him.

0:16:28 > 0:16:29He's getting on my fuckin' tits.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31We're going to be late, boss.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Fuck the Yank. Let him wait.

0:16:33 > 0:16:38# When you walk...

0:16:38 > 0:16:40# Through a storm

0:16:40 > 0:16:44# Hold your head up high... #

0:16:45 > 0:16:48CUSTOMERS: # Glory, glory, Man United

0:16:48 > 0:16:51# Glory, glory, Man United

0:16:51 > 0:16:54# Glory, glory, Man United

0:16:54 > 0:16:57# And the Reds go marching on, on, on...! #

0:16:59 > 0:17:01Boys and girls of Manchester!

0:17:03 > 0:17:07- Just popped over from er...Liverpool...- Fuckin' wanker!

0:17:07 > 0:17:09..to invite you to a game of footy tomorrow.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11What the fuckin' hell's that, you twat?

0:17:11 > 0:17:14But I'm fuckin' fucked if you pricks are going to win it.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Come on, then, mate. Keep up the spirit.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20HE LAUGHS

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Someone get that fucking thing out!

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Young man, get off the bloody green!

0:17:34 > 0:17:37- Where the fuck have you been? - Round the block.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38Drive, quick!

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Let's go meet the Yankee muppet.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Where's Lawrence? Where's he gone? We're late.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58- Well, he's... - You left him at the pub. Twat!

0:17:58 > 0:17:59- But you said... - Go back.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Go back and get him.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Look at this wanker.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18- Prick!- Go on.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29SIGH OF RELIEF

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Lawrence says, right, he's going to be carrying...

0:18:33 > 0:18:35..a load of drugs, right?

0:18:35 > 0:18:38We do him. Job done.

0:18:38 > 0:18:39OK?

0:18:39 > 0:18:44I'm not having some fuckin' nig-nog...put us out of business, right?

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Hey!

0:18:46 > 0:18:49Watch it! You're pissin' on my fuckin' boots!

0:18:49 > 0:18:51- What about Felix DeSouza? - Fuck him.

0:18:51 > 0:18:52He's a rabid dog.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Is he? Well, fuck him!

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Fuck him! Leave it to me!

0:18:57 > 0:19:00I'll rip out his fuckin' liver. One shot. Va-voom!

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Yeah? No problem.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06No problem.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10Hey!

0:19:13 > 0:19:16Hey! Felix DeSouza.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18Just the wanker I wanted to deal with.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Deal with this.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28What a fuckin' day.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30Arthur. Come in, Arthur. Over.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32STATIC HISS

0:19:32 > 0:19:34Why don't you try the big fat button, Arthur?

0:19:35 > 0:19:36Yes, sir.

0:19:36 > 0:19:40Now, we are looking for a large black gentleman wearing a dress.

0:19:40 > 0:19:43That's what Lawrence said. It should be easy. Over.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Yeah, and we want Customs to pull him over, right?

0:19:46 > 0:19:51Wrong. We want Customs to let him through and you follow him. Over.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53- Utter nutbag. - Right. Over.

0:20:09 > 0:20:11'What now?'

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Follow them all. Over.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Madam, if you'd like to come this way.- No. I've got to go.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40Have you finished?

0:20:40 > 0:20:43CUSTOMS OFFICER: Not quite, miss. I need to look at your shoulder bag.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Welcome to England.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Actually, that makes me out to be a bit of a liar, cos let's face it, pal,

0:21:01 > 0:21:04you're about as welcome as a dose of the clap.

0:21:04 > 0:21:06But it's always nice to be nice.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Who the hell are you? - Felix DeSouza.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Mr Durant sent me.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12- I asked for a chemist. Where's Lawrence?- In the car.

0:21:12 > 0:21:15- He should be here. - I should give a shit.

0:21:15 > 0:21:17To me, you're just a ticket to the game.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Where's the chemist?

0:21:27 > 0:21:29Where's Lawrence?

0:21:30 > 0:21:32You heard him. Where's Lawrence?

0:21:34 > 0:21:36Put these in the truck. Get Durant on the phone.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41Put these fucking sticks in the boot.

0:21:44 > 0:21:45Aaah!

0:21:47 > 0:21:49- What's that? - It's Lawrence.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51I can see it's fucking Lawrence. What happened?

0:21:51 > 0:21:53- You told me to take care of him. - Oh, shit.

0:21:53 > 0:21:57I meant to take care of him, not fucking take care of him.

0:21:57 > 0:21:59Shit.

0:22:00 > 0:22:01Shit.

0:22:03 > 0:22:04Shit!

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Shut the fucking thing, will you?

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Fuck...

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Get Durant on the fucking phone, right fucking now!

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Where's my motherfucking chemist?!

0:22:29 > 0:22:32- Lawrence? He should be in the car. - Should be?

0:22:32 > 0:22:34What kind of fuck-up is this, Durant?

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Look, we deal today, or I go to the competition.

0:22:37 > 0:22:39Look, let me speak to DeSouza.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41DeSouza? DeSouza?

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Look, boss, it wasn't my fault.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Besides, he was fucking irritating.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49Right now, I couldn't give a gnat's chuff. You twat!

0:22:49 > 0:22:50You just make sure McElroy gets here.

0:22:50 > 0:22:53Where's my fucking chemist?!

0:22:53 > 0:22:55- I think we need a new chemist, Mr Durant.- I know. I know.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57I can fucking hear him, can't I?

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Tell him I'm going to get a hold of, er...

0:23:00 > 0:23:02Pudsey Smith, OK?

0:23:02 > 0:23:05Yeah. I am not buying aspirin for a fucking arm and a leg.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07He's getting Pudsey Smith.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09- Who?- He's a deaf-mute.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Stall him. Just stall him.

0:23:11 > 0:23:14You keep that Yankee cunt happy. And alive.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16All right, boss. Yeah.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21Oh! You fucking twat!

0:23:25 > 0:23:28What's the plan, then? Freshen up?

0:23:28 > 0:23:32Massage? Maybe you fancy a bucket of fried fucking chicken.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34If I wanted cuisine, I'd have gone to Paris.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36You can still go to France. it's not too far.

0:23:36 > 0:23:40It's full of pricks and they hate fucking Yanks too. Do you fancy a bite?

0:23:40 > 0:23:42Yeah. All right.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Hello, stranger!

0:23:56 > 0:23:59Said hello to lover boy yet?

0:23:59 > 0:24:02- HE LAUGHS - Iki, I'm in a hurry.

0:24:02 > 0:24:04Can we get on with it?

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Ruger mini-14, 223 calibre.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17It comes in a fetching chrome.

0:24:19 > 0:24:2120 rounds per banana.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25Unless the elite and snazzy Iki special takes your fancy, extending your capacity to 40.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28- We've got a Czechoslovakian... - CZ 83, I'll take one.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Oh...

0:24:30 > 0:24:33Well, that's young Felix's weapon of choice, isn't it?

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Now, there's a trip down memory lane.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37I'm partial to a bit of sentiment, me.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40I've heard things, you know. He misses you.

0:24:42 > 0:24:43So, what are you going to take?

0:24:43 > 0:24:48I'll take the Beretta, the CZ, an ankle holster, add the mini-14 and I'm done.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50- I want to get in and out fast. - Don't we all?

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Does Durant still do his deals at the Port Hotel?

0:24:53 > 0:24:55Silly lad. It'll be his undoing, one of these days.

0:24:55 > 0:24:59But what do you expect from a fella who gets his arse waxed every month?

0:24:59 > 0:25:02I forgot what a circus this place is.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Funny, that.

0:25:04 > 0:25:08I never did much like the circus. All that poking your head in a lion's mouth shite.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Bring on the horses! Get 'em rogering the dancing girls!

0:25:11 > 0:25:13That's a circus.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16These...and these

0:25:16 > 0:25:17are on the house.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Welcome home...Dawn.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33- There you go, mate. - Thanks, mate.

0:25:33 > 0:25:35Ta.

0:25:42 > 0:25:46What the fuck did they do to this fish? Batter it to death?

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Fish and chips. The national dish, mate.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51More like a national disaster.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54# I said you don't really wanna go, I can tell

0:25:54 > 0:25:56# But I'm gonna take you anyway

0:25:56 > 0:25:57# What the hell?

0:25:57 > 0:26:00# So come on, get on in the ride

0:26:00 > 0:26:02# And let me take you to the other side

0:26:03 > 0:26:05# You don't really wanna go, I can tell

0:26:05 > 0:26:07# But I'm gonna take you anyway

0:26:07 > 0:26:09# What the hell?

0:26:09 > 0:26:11# So come on, get on in the ride

0:26:11 > 0:26:14# And let me take you to the other side

0:26:14 > 0:26:16# I heard you even got a child now

0:26:16 > 0:26:17# Look at that

0:26:17 > 0:26:19# A baby momma and a bow-wow... #

0:26:19 > 0:26:21TYRES SCREECH

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Keys.

0:26:27 > 0:26:29Twat.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Come on.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36So, er...

0:26:36 > 0:26:39How much are they paying you to wear that skirt?

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Fag?

0:26:51 > 0:26:53No, motherfucker.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58HE SNIGGERS

0:27:03 > 0:27:05KNOCK AT DOOR

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Ah, Mr McElroy!

0:27:13 > 0:27:15That's daring, but very dashing attire.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18Let's stick to the business in hand.

0:27:18 > 0:27:21Hey, come on! Mr McElroy's a guest of ours.

0:27:23 > 0:27:25OK, boys, guns on the table, please.

0:27:27 > 0:27:28Felix?

0:27:28 > 0:27:30I've delivered him. I'll have my tickets and be off.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32OK. Put your gun on the table.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35- Fuck. The game's tomorrow. - Put your fucking gun on the table, you gobshite!

0:27:37 > 0:27:39What?

0:27:39 > 0:27:41- So, who's the chemist? - This is Pudsey Smith.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43A first-class man. Qualified and everything.

0:27:45 > 0:27:46He can't talk. He's been shot.

0:27:55 > 0:27:57Felix, have you shit your pants, or something?

0:27:57 > 0:27:59Something doesn't feel right, Mr Durant.

0:27:59 > 0:28:03I know. You're making me nervous, for fuck's sake! Sit on your hands, or something.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06OK, Mr McElroy, the ball's in your court.

0:28:16 > 0:28:19MCELROY: MDMA utilises serotonin.

0:28:19 > 0:28:23Opiates like heroin utilise dopamine.

0:28:23 > 0:28:26Sort of like the same sensation you get after sex.

0:28:26 > 0:28:29Amphetamines increase adrenaline

0:28:29 > 0:28:34and cocaine gets those synapses in the brain firing really fast.

0:28:34 > 0:28:38My product is 51 times stronger than cocaine.

0:28:38 > 0:28:4151 times more hallucinogenic than acid

0:28:41 > 0:28:44and 51 times more explosive than ecstasy.

0:28:45 > 0:28:46It's like a personal visit...

0:28:47 > 0:28:49..from God.

0:28:50 > 0:28:52It's that good?

0:28:54 > 0:28:57The dog's bollocks.

0:29:17 > 0:29:20Felix DeSouza.

0:29:20 > 0:29:22- I count ten. - That's right.

0:29:22 > 0:29:26That's one million sterling, or 1.6 million dollars.

0:29:26 > 0:29:28But that ain't what we agreed on, is it?

0:29:28 > 0:29:31You're 18.4 million dollars shy.

0:29:31 > 0:29:35And I don't care how you cut it, that's a whole lot shy.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37No...

0:29:37 > 0:29:40Mr McElroy, what we have there is a goodwill gesture.

0:29:40 > 0:29:41A deposit. A down payment.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44One and a half million's not a bad start, is it?

0:29:44 > 0:29:49I need to do some research. I need to feed a few thousand to the kids, get some feedback.

0:29:49 > 0:29:52You don't think I can allow you to walk out of here with 20 million

0:29:52 > 0:29:54for a formula that only exists in your head?

0:29:54 > 0:29:57And all I get is, what?

0:29:57 > 0:29:59An ointment for toe jam.

0:30:00 > 0:30:02Uh-huh?

0:30:03 > 0:30:05- Market research.- Right.

0:30:05 > 0:30:07Profile customers, send out questionnaires.

0:30:11 > 0:30:14Get out the bloody way, Felix.

0:30:14 > 0:30:20I can dig that. But unless you've got what we agreed on, what the fuck am I doing here?

0:30:20 > 0:30:22Give me a call when you're ready to deal.

0:30:22 > 0:30:24- BANGING ON DOOR - I fucking knew it.

0:30:27 > 0:30:29- QUAVERING VOICE:- Room service.

0:30:29 > 0:30:31That old fuckin' chestnut.

0:30:32 > 0:30:33Aaargh!

0:30:34 > 0:30:36Hey, hold it fellas!

0:30:36 > 0:30:38It's my sausage and flamin' mash!

0:30:38 > 0:30:41SHE SCREAMS Ssh...

0:30:41 > 0:30:44Sorry, love. Sorry about that, pet.

0:30:44 > 0:30:45It's just that, er...

0:30:45 > 0:30:48my dad ran off with a room service maid.

0:30:48 > 0:30:50Things have never really been the same since.

0:30:51 > 0:30:53Bollocks.

0:30:53 > 0:30:55PHONE RINGS

0:30:58 > 0:31:00Now's not a good time.

0:31:00 > 0:31:02- 'Change of plan.' - What do you mean?

0:31:02 > 0:31:03I want McElroy kept alive.

0:31:03 > 0:31:05I don't do alive, I do dead.

0:31:05 > 0:31:07It's a matter of 20 million

0:31:07 > 0:31:08in cash being vaporised,

0:31:08 > 0:31:12and it's a matter of a lot of anger being directed at The Lizardman.

0:31:12 > 0:31:13You now do alive.

0:31:13 > 0:31:18'My future is inside McEroy's skull.'

0:31:18 > 0:31:21You waste anything and everybody that gets near him.

0:31:21 > 0:31:23You waste them, not him.

0:31:23 > 0:31:26'His mind belongs to The Lizard.'

0:31:28 > 0:31:29Shit.

0:31:35 > 0:31:36Fucking hell!

0:31:39 > 0:31:41Shit, shit, shit!

0:31:49 > 0:31:50Arsehole.

0:31:52 > 0:31:55Let go, you double-crosser. Let go! They're mine!

0:31:55 > 0:31:56Oh!

0:32:08 > 0:32:10Oh, shit.

0:32:26 > 0:32:28Shit.

0:32:33 > 0:32:35Ow! Shit!

0:32:35 > 0:32:38I told you to get out of the way, Felix.

0:32:38 > 0:32:40- Fuck! I've been shot.- Where?

0:32:40 > 0:32:42In the fucking arse!

0:32:42 > 0:32:44Man, it's just a flesh wound. Come on.

0:32:44 > 0:32:48Flesh wound? Is that supposed to sound like a fuckin' good thing?

0:32:52 > 0:32:54ARGUING

0:32:54 > 0:32:56Come on, dude.

0:32:58 > 0:32:59Oi, Sooty.

0:32:59 > 0:33:01Sooty!

0:33:03 > 0:33:04Here. Take these.

0:33:15 > 0:33:17- Aaargh! - Oh, fuck!

0:33:17 > 0:33:20Fuckin' get him, boys. Come on!

0:33:25 > 0:33:28- Stay down, bitch. - Oi! You're not driving my car!

0:33:28 > 0:33:30Shit.

0:33:30 > 0:33:31Give me the fuckin' keys. Get in the car.

0:33:31 > 0:33:33Fuck!

0:33:41 > 0:33:42BOTH: Aaargh!

0:33:46 > 0:33:47Fucking hell!

0:33:48 > 0:33:50Get your fat arse out of the flamin' car. Check the hotel.

0:33:50 > 0:33:53Put me in the picture. What the fuck happened back there?

0:33:53 > 0:33:55I just got shot in the fucking arse

0:33:55 > 0:33:58- is what happened!- This is not how we do fuckin' business.

0:33:58 > 0:34:01- Just get out of the fucking car! - All right. All right.

0:34:01 > 0:34:02Oh, fuck!

0:34:07 > 0:34:09What the fuck are you doing?

0:34:09 > 0:34:11Whoa...

0:34:12 > 0:34:14Just take a fucking left!

0:34:17 > 0:34:18SIREN WAILS

0:34:23 > 0:34:25- Get off the pavement!- Shit.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27Watch out!

0:34:27 > 0:34:29Fuck!

0:34:30 > 0:34:32- Which fucking way? - Right. Right.

0:34:38 > 0:34:40- Come on! - Aargh.- Christ!

0:34:41 > 0:34:42Hey...

0:34:53 > 0:34:56- The traffic's coming from the right. - I got it.

0:35:00 > 0:35:02Fuck!

0:35:06 > 0:35:08You! Out of my fuckin' way!

0:35:17 > 0:35:20- Oh, bollocks. - The dog's bollocks?

0:35:20 > 0:35:21No. Just plain fucking bollocks.

0:35:21 > 0:35:24- No dogs involved?- No!

0:35:24 > 0:35:25Watch out! Watch out!

0:35:29 > 0:35:31You'll kill the fucking car!

0:35:36 > 0:35:38Fuck.

0:35:39 > 0:35:41Oh! Fuck.

0:35:42 > 0:35:44SIREN BLARES

0:35:49 > 0:35:50Hello?

0:36:03 > 0:36:05So, let me get this straight.

0:36:05 > 0:36:08"Bollocks" is bad, whereas "the dog's bollocks" is good, huh?

0:36:08 > 0:36:10Yeah.

0:36:11 > 0:36:12ENGINE REVS

0:36:12 > 0:36:14Oh, bollocks.

0:36:20 > 0:36:22Gotcha.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36Come on, then!

0:36:36 > 0:36:37Come on!

0:36:39 > 0:36:43Aaa-aargh!

0:36:46 > 0:36:49- Stop. - God. Fucking Yanks.

0:36:49 > 0:36:50Come on!

0:36:55 > 0:36:57Shit.

0:36:57 > 0:36:58Fucking hell.

0:37:00 > 0:37:02Scraping my fucking paintwork!

0:37:03 > 0:37:05Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

0:37:05 > 0:37:08- Fuck you, Kane, you shitebag. - Fuck off!

0:37:10 > 0:37:13SQUAWKS LIKE A CHICKEN

0:37:13 > 0:37:14Oh, you little fuck!

0:37:14 > 0:37:17Chicken bollocks.

0:37:19 > 0:37:20Shit!

0:37:20 > 0:37:22Whoa-oa!

0:37:24 > 0:37:27Fuck you, Kane, you fucking wanker!

0:37:27 > 0:37:29SIRENS BLARE

0:37:55 > 0:37:57Come here, you!

0:37:57 > 0:37:59- Are you all right? - Fuck off!

0:38:02 > 0:38:04We've lost them.

0:38:04 > 0:38:07SHIP'S HORN

0:38:09 > 0:38:12Yeah, well, let's not take any chances.

0:38:34 > 0:38:35Oh...

0:38:36 > 0:38:38Oh, shit!

0:38:54 > 0:38:56Ugh...

0:38:58 > 0:38:59Are you wanting to junk that, pal?

0:38:59 > 0:39:00You what?

0:39:00 > 0:39:03Dude, do you have a car that works? I need transportation.

0:39:03 > 0:39:05I've got a Cooper needing a lick of paint.

0:39:05 > 0:39:09She goes. Throw in the XJ6 and she's yours for a 100 quid.

0:39:09 > 0:39:13- Deal.- What, a Cooper? Piss off, Popeye. And you.

0:39:13 > 0:39:15I'll tell you what - 70 quid and the Jag

0:39:15 > 0:39:17and I'm robbing myself.

0:39:17 > 0:39:19Tha... That's it. That's it.

0:39:19 > 0:39:22I've had just about enough of this shite.

0:39:22 > 0:39:24I got you to that deal in one piece.

0:39:24 > 0:39:26I got you out of that deal in one piece.

0:39:26 > 0:39:29As far as I'm concerned, my job's done. It's finished.

0:39:29 > 0:39:33You can leave my motor alone, get your golf clubs, and fuck off back to Dixie.

0:39:33 > 0:39:35Pay attention, Felix DeSouza.

0:39:35 > 0:39:40I atomised a major drugs syndicate to be here this morning.

0:39:40 > 0:39:44Now, I'm stuck in Liver-fucking-fool with you!

0:39:44 > 0:39:50And if I need you to sell your car to help me, you will sell your goddamn car!

0:39:57 > 0:39:59Do I look like the Salvation Army?

0:39:59 > 0:40:02Have I got "Jim'll Fix It" written on my fucking hat?

0:40:02 > 0:40:06I'm sorry, mate, but help's not a word I'm too familiar with, you know.

0:40:06 > 0:40:08CAMPTOWN RACES RINGTONE

0:40:12 > 0:40:13Fuck off!

0:40:35 > 0:40:37I don't believe it.

0:40:38 > 0:40:40So, who's the girl?

0:40:43 > 0:40:45It's my ex-girlfriend.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52Arthur. I want you to describe the situation to me.

0:40:52 > 0:40:56Seven shades of shit in a one-shit trumpet, sir.

0:40:56 > 0:40:58It looks like some kind of a drugs buy.

0:40:58 > 0:41:00'None of your ordinary.'

0:41:00 > 0:41:04Aye-aye. Got some blue tabs. They look like sweets.

0:41:04 > 0:41:06How are you?

0:41:06 > 0:41:09What do you mean, how am I? Nearly cut my fucking ear off!

0:41:09 > 0:41:11And I've hurt my knee.

0:41:11 > 0:41:16Now, I want you to get the pills and take them straight down to the lab, double time.

0:41:16 > 0:41:20You got that? And then you call me. Now, what else have you got?

0:41:20 > 0:41:22Six dead bodies and one live one.

0:41:22 > 0:41:25HE GROANS Chief, it's Leopold Durant.

0:41:25 > 0:41:28Durant? Right. Now, concentrate, Arthur.

0:41:28 > 0:41:32Get that fat fuck down here pronto.

0:41:32 > 0:41:33But, sir, he's dying.

0:41:33 > 0:41:36Then you'd better be fucking quick about it, hadn't you?

0:41:37 > 0:41:38FOGHORN HOOTS

0:41:41 > 0:41:43She dumped me.

0:41:44 > 0:41:46Two years ago now.

0:41:48 > 0:41:51Changed her name from Dawn to Dakota.

0:41:51 > 0:41:54Fucked off for Las Vegas and a deck of cards.

0:41:54 > 0:41:56So who hired her to take me out?

0:41:56 > 0:41:58You're asking the wrong question, mate.

0:42:00 > 0:42:02She's your guardian angel.

0:42:04 > 0:42:07If she wanted you dead, you'd be dead.

0:42:07 > 0:42:09She never misses.

0:42:09 > 0:42:11I mean, fucking look at that.

0:42:12 > 0:42:17If she really wanted to hit me... I'd be shiteing through a tube for the rest of my life.

0:42:20 > 0:42:22Someone wants you kept alive.

0:42:29 > 0:42:34Somebody's trying to cut in on Durant's deal. They're shitting again.

0:42:34 > 0:42:36- Yeah, well, shit happens.- No.

0:42:36 > 0:42:38Shit don't just happen, shit takes time.

0:42:38 > 0:42:40Shit takes effort.

0:42:40 > 0:42:4320 million-worth of effort.

0:42:43 > 0:42:45METALLIC PING

0:42:45 > 0:42:48I've got to get a new deal on, fast.

0:42:48 > 0:42:50You know the town, you know the players.

0:42:50 > 0:42:52Look...

0:42:54 > 0:42:56..all I want is a ticket for the game.

0:42:56 > 0:42:58Do you think you can swing that?

0:42:58 > 0:43:0120 million could swing anything. You know what I'm selling.

0:43:01 > 0:43:03Well, how much?

0:43:03 > 0:43:065% of whatever I get out of any deal you set up.

0:43:06 > 0:43:08That's a million dollars.

0:43:08 > 0:43:11Hell, you could buy your own goddamn stadium with that.

0:43:15 > 0:43:18- Game's tomorrow. - You'd better get started, then.

0:43:18 > 0:43:20Oh, and Felix.

0:43:20 > 0:43:23A word of advice.

0:43:23 > 0:43:27You ever want to get the girl, you've got to broaden your horizons.

0:43:29 > 0:43:32DISTANT METALLIC PING

0:43:34 > 0:43:36- KANE:- What the fuck is that?

0:43:36 > 0:43:38What is it?

0:43:38 > 0:43:40What? Scotch mist?

0:43:42 > 0:43:44Now, now, now, now, now.

0:43:44 > 0:43:47You are getting greedy, Leopold.

0:43:48 > 0:43:54It's a big deal going down, and you are trying to cut me out of the fucking loop.

0:43:54 > 0:43:58- LEOPOLD SCREAMS IN AGONY - I told you. Face the fuck front!

0:44:00 > 0:44:02HE COUGHS AND CHOKES

0:44:02 > 0:44:06This is going to cost you an additional 15%.

0:44:06 > 0:44:08No?

0:44:08 > 0:44:10All right, then. 30.

0:44:10 > 0:44:11As you're being so difficult.

0:44:11 > 0:44:16How about this? 50-50. Why settle for anything less, eh?

0:44:18 > 0:44:2060-40.

0:44:20 > 0:44:26Leopold, I don't know if you noticed, my son, but you're in urgent need of a fucking doctor.

0:44:28 > 0:44:3050-50.

0:44:30 > 0:44:31Good boy.

0:44:33 > 0:44:35All right, then, Arthur. Take him down.

0:44:35 > 0:44:37HE SHOUTS

0:44:39 > 0:44:41Argh!

0:44:41 > 0:44:43Fuck!

0:44:45 > 0:44:49You really have excelled yourself this time, haven't you, Arthur?

0:44:49 > 0:44:51Brilliant. Fucking brilliant.

0:44:53 > 0:44:54EASTERN MEDITATION MUSIC

0:45:02 > 0:45:05Omar, it's my own interpretation, innit?

0:45:05 > 0:45:08- You need to find your centre. - Get off my leg!

0:45:08 > 0:45:11- Find your centre. - Stop messing... Omar!

0:45:12 > 0:45:16Omar, you're messing with my delicate energy field here, all right?

0:45:16 > 0:45:18OK, OK.

0:45:19 > 0:45:21- Cocksucker. - Find your centre, Omar.

0:45:21 > 0:45:23MOBILE RINGS

0:45:24 > 0:45:25Hello?

0:45:25 > 0:45:27You've got one chance, mate - yes or no -

0:45:27 > 0:45:31to be the number one shite in this particular cesspool.

0:45:31 > 0:45:35Bugger me sideways. Felix DeSouza, you misguided wanker. I'm already number one.

0:45:35 > 0:45:37- IKI:- 'Always was a bit of a pillock - Leo Durant.

0:45:37 > 0:45:39- 'Now he's a dead pillock.'- Dead?

0:45:39 > 0:45:42- MOBILE RINGS - Hang on, Felix. It's my other line.

0:45:44 > 0:45:45Hello?

0:45:45 > 0:45:47I need to find Felix.

0:45:47 > 0:45:49Hello, Dawn.

0:45:50 > 0:45:52Time to scratch that itch, is it?

0:45:52 > 0:45:54Well, he's gnawing my fucking wigwam.

0:45:54 > 0:45:58- Where does he hang out these days? - Hang on a minute, Dawn.

0:45:58 > 0:45:59Felix...

0:45:59 > 0:46:01Listen, me and, er...

0:46:01 > 0:46:04My associate and I have selected you to deal with.

0:46:04 > 0:46:06Well, aren't I just the luckiest bugger alive?

0:46:07 > 0:46:10- Stay there. - I don't fucking believe it.

0:46:11 > 0:46:14- 'Have you tried Re-Fresh, Pink Factor?'- Yeah, all of them.

0:46:14 > 0:46:17Hang on a minute, tiger. Just let me deal with this.

0:46:17 > 0:46:19Let me talk to him.

0:46:20 > 0:46:22MCELROY: 'The deal is 20 million.'

0:46:22 > 0:46:26The deal is non-negotiable. The deal expires at midnight.

0:46:26 > 0:46:30Oh, Mr McElroy, 20 million sounds fannytastic. Yes!

0:46:31 > 0:46:37Negotiation's for arsewipes. If you're not here by midnight, I'll shit myself with woe.

0:46:37 > 0:46:39I want samples, Mr McElroy. Supersonic samples.

0:46:39 > 0:46:44I want frost, I want 100,000 miles an hour of intergalactic spaciness. See ya.

0:46:44 > 0:46:46We in the house.

0:46:48 > 0:46:50- IKI:- 'Hiya, Daw. Sorry to keep you.'

0:46:50 > 0:46:53There might be one person who knows where he is.

0:46:59 > 0:47:01Fuck.

0:47:05 > 0:47:06What the fuck is that?

0:47:06 > 0:47:10- FELIX:- Congratulations, pal. That's your new Cooper.

0:47:10 > 0:47:12Mini Cooper.

0:47:13 > 0:47:15SPLUTTERS AND BACKFIRES

0:47:19 > 0:47:21Have I got to sort out every fucking problem?

0:47:21 > 0:47:24A laboratory. Or as you would say, a "lab-oratree".

0:47:24 > 0:47:26We need a lab, Felix.

0:47:26 > 0:47:31I'm sure that's dead easy where you come from. Fucking lab on every corner, is it?

0:47:41 > 0:47:44HORNS BLARE

0:47:44 > 0:47:45Piss off.

0:47:56 > 0:47:57MUSIC: "Don't Be Cruel" by Dillard & Clarke

0:47:57 > 0:48:00# You know I can be found

0:48:00 > 0:48:02# Sitting all alone

0:48:02 > 0:48:04# If you don't come around

0:48:04 > 0:48:07# At least, please telephone

0:48:07 > 0:48:09# Don't be cruel

0:48:09 > 0:48:11# To a heart that's true... #

0:48:12 > 0:48:16Well, shit in a bag and punch it. She's back.

0:48:19 > 0:48:21I need to find Felix.

0:48:21 > 0:48:24And what do you need from me? A map and a fucking compass?

0:48:24 > 0:48:26Shirley...

0:48:26 > 0:48:30You broke his heart. Did you even give a thought about that?

0:48:30 > 0:48:33- This was a mistake. - Most sensible thing you've said.

0:48:35 > 0:48:38Are you still shooting people for a living?

0:48:38 > 0:48:41What kind of fucking career is that, then, eh?

0:48:43 > 0:48:47- Look, can I come in? - And do what? The dirty stop-out

0:48:47 > 0:48:49doesn't come home till breakfast.

0:48:51 > 0:48:54Really good to be home.

0:48:59 > 0:49:02It's great to see you again, love.

0:49:03 > 0:49:07# Baby, it's still you I'm thinking of

0:49:07 > 0:49:09# Don't be cruel

0:49:09 > 0:49:11# To a heart that's true... #

0:49:11 > 0:49:13ENGINE ROARS AND SPLUTTERS

0:49:21 > 0:49:23I wanted to see the world.

0:49:24 > 0:49:26Liverpool isn't the world.

0:49:27 > 0:49:31I couldn't take America. It was like fucking Albania in neon.

0:49:31 > 0:49:33And that stupid football shirt.

0:49:35 > 0:49:39What kind of man jumps into bed shouting, "Come on, you Reds"?

0:49:39 > 0:49:41She made me laugh.

0:49:45 > 0:49:47Good shag, though.

0:49:47 > 0:49:50I tell you, she'd kill anyone for me, I'll say that for her.

0:49:50 > 0:49:52He's got problems.

0:49:52 > 0:49:53She's got problems.

0:49:53 > 0:49:56Shouldn't have come back.

0:49:56 > 0:49:57Better off.

0:50:05 > 0:50:07I need everything on this list.

0:50:07 > 0:50:10I'm dying for a smoke. You haven't any ciggies, have you?

0:50:10 > 0:50:13I'm sorry. Cigarettes are bad for your health.

0:50:13 > 0:50:16So's a fucking punch in the throat. I need fucking nicotine now!

0:50:16 > 0:50:19No need to shout at me. I'm Pakistani, not deaf.

0:50:20 > 0:50:24- Take a puff on this! - Oh, fuck off.

0:50:24 > 0:50:25You?

0:50:26 > 0:50:31You! Dress-wearing, er...monkey-boy.

0:50:31 > 0:50:33SKINHEADS: Monkey-boy!

0:50:33 > 0:50:36You're going to take them drugs of yours and make it work for us.

0:50:36 > 0:50:41- And where would I do this? - In my lab.

0:50:41 > 0:50:43- You got a lab? - Yeah, of course.

0:50:44 > 0:50:47What do you take us for? Rank fucking amateurs?

0:50:47 > 0:50:49SKINHEADS LAUGH

0:50:52 > 0:50:54THRASH METAL PLAYS

0:51:01 > 0:51:02Come on!

0:51:04 > 0:51:06SCREECHING AND WHOOPING

0:51:11 > 0:51:13Just say no.

0:51:13 > 0:51:16- FELIX:- How the fuck did we end up in here?

0:51:16 > 0:51:19One little mistake...30 years ago.

0:51:28 > 0:51:31All of these items are over-the-counter.

0:51:31 > 0:51:33Nothing illegal here.

0:51:33 > 0:51:35You're no fucking help, are you?

0:51:35 > 0:51:40I beg to differ. You see, it's not the ingredients themselves which determine the effect

0:51:40 > 0:51:42but the manner in which they're combined.

0:51:42 > 0:51:44These kids are getting very smart.

0:51:49 > 0:51:51He's right.

0:51:51 > 0:51:53The ravers are the key.

0:51:53 > 0:51:56Aren't you the clever little chunky monkey?

0:51:56 > 0:51:59You keep banging on about my weight. You're crossing a line.

0:51:59 > 0:52:01Arthur, it was a joke.

0:52:01 > 0:52:04It was a joke. Smile.

0:52:04 > 0:52:06Smile.

0:52:06 > 0:52:07You fat cunt.

0:52:09 > 0:52:11Yo, Blowjob.

0:52:11 > 0:52:17P-O-S 51. Comes in blue or race-car red.

0:52:17 > 0:52:20Destination - stratosphere.

0:52:22 > 0:52:26Only, this one...gets you there in 60 seconds.

0:52:26 > 0:52:29You try one first.

0:52:29 > 0:52:31Thought you'd never ask.

0:52:44 > 0:52:47P-O-S 51?

0:52:47 > 0:52:49You can't call it that.

0:52:49 > 0:52:52Punters'll feel like right tits asking for tabs of 438 I-O-fuckin'-U,

0:52:52 > 0:52:56whatever the number is. No-one's going to know what they're on about.

0:52:56 > 0:53:00These scumbags spend their entire life smacked out of their heads.

0:53:00 > 0:53:03Numbers - they couldn't even tell you what fucking time it is.

0:53:06 > 0:53:08All right, Mr Smug, what have you done?

0:53:11 > 0:53:13I think the shit's about to hit the fan.

0:53:28 > 0:53:32Arrrrrgh!

0:53:33 > 0:53:35FARTING

0:53:35 > 0:53:36Phew. Eurgh.

0:53:39 > 0:53:42FARTS

0:53:42 > 0:53:45- ALL GROAN AND FART - Curry was a bad idea, lads.

0:53:46 > 0:53:48SKINHEADS GROAN

0:53:50 > 0:53:52FARTING Oh, yeah.

0:53:52 > 0:53:54- ALL:- Please. Please.

0:53:54 > 0:53:56FARTING AND SQUELCHING

0:53:58 > 0:54:01- BLOWFISH:- Oh, thanks. Oh, thanks.

0:54:16 > 0:54:18MUSIC: "Warrior" by Warrior

0:54:24 > 0:54:27# Here comes your warrior

0:54:37 > 0:54:39# Here comes your warrior

0:54:47 > 0:54:49# Here comes your warrior

0:54:49 > 0:54:53# He's letting you know

0:54:53 > 0:54:56# Your sun will come shining

0:54:56 > 0:54:59# Your sun will come shining

0:55:00 > 0:55:02# Here comes your warrior

0:55:03 > 0:55:06# He's letting you know

0:55:06 > 0:55:08# Your sun will come shining... #

0:55:09 > 0:55:11- IKI:- Oi!

0:55:11 > 0:55:13Brothers gonna work it out.

0:55:13 > 0:55:15Brothers gonna work it out.

0:55:15 > 0:55:19He's a chemical brother! Mr McElroy...welcome.

0:55:19 > 0:55:22- How you doing, man? - Spectacular is what I'm doing.

0:55:22 > 0:55:24Spectacular.

0:55:24 > 0:55:27Nice skirt. Special occasion, is it?

0:55:27 > 0:55:29IKI LAUGHS

0:55:29 > 0:55:32- Are you going to be all right here on your own?- Mm-hm.

0:55:32 > 0:55:34- She's here.- Right.

0:55:34 > 0:55:39- Everything all right, lads? Problems?- No, man. Nothing we can't handle.

0:55:40 > 0:55:43# Here comes your warrior

0:55:43 > 0:55:46# He's letting you know

0:55:46 > 0:55:49# Your sun will come shining

0:55:49 > 0:55:53# Your sun will come shining

0:55:53 > 0:55:56# Here comes your warrior

0:55:56 > 0:55:58# He's letting you know... #

0:56:00 > 0:56:06Every chemical used in the production of this drug is 100% legal.

0:56:06 > 0:56:12Not one ingredient is found on any known government's banned substance watch list.

0:56:13 > 0:56:16Hell, you can ship supertankers of this shit.

0:56:16 > 0:56:20You can even lay a goddamn pipeline and no-one would bat an eye.

0:56:26 > 0:56:28P-O-S 51.

0:56:28 > 0:56:30It's all that.

0:56:30 > 0:56:33And it can be yours.

0:56:33 > 0:56:36If the price...is right.

0:56:57 > 0:57:01Chemistry...Mr McElroy.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05What is chemistry...

0:57:06 > 0:57:10..but the ability to attract adoration in others?

0:57:15 > 0:57:18You see, you're like me, Mr McElroy.

0:57:18 > 0:57:21You're a sky-highatrist, I'm a sky-highatrist.

0:57:21 > 0:57:24See, I always knew I'd be a drug dealer even when I was a kid.

0:57:24 > 0:57:27I saw my dad hit my mother, my mother hit my brother,

0:57:27 > 0:57:30my brother hit my sister, and my sister fuck my father.

0:57:30 > 0:57:32So it's inevitable, really.

0:57:32 > 0:57:36You'd have to be on drugs just to live in that madhouse, wouldn't you?

0:57:36 > 0:57:39Drugs are good, Mr McElroy.

0:57:40 > 0:57:42Drugs are our mates.

0:57:43 > 0:57:47Fuck. I'm getting on my own nerves.

0:57:48 > 0:57:51What I'm trying to say to you, Mr McElroy, is...

0:57:54 > 0:57:58..I'm very much attracted to what you have to offer.

0:57:58 > 0:58:01IKI CHUCKLES

0:58:10 > 0:58:12How are you doing, Felix?

0:58:13 > 0:58:15Well, my boss is dead...

0:58:16 > 0:58:19..can't get a ticket for tomorrow's match,

0:58:19 > 0:58:22and, oh, yeah, I've got a fucking bullet hole in the arse.

0:58:23 > 0:58:25Apart from that,

0:58:25 > 0:58:27I'm tiptop.

0:58:30 > 0:58:32So who's the target?

0:58:32 > 0:58:35You've got that look in your eye.

0:58:35 > 0:58:37I've been looking for you.

0:58:37 > 0:58:41Oh, yeah? For old times' sake or for the company I keep?

0:58:41 > 0:58:43Little bit of both.

0:58:46 > 0:58:48So, you have got me on your list, then?

0:58:49 > 0:58:51You've always been on my list.

0:58:53 > 0:58:56WHOOPING AND CHEERING 40 years ago

0:58:56 > 0:59:00a rock-and-roll revolution was launched in this town.

0:59:00 > 0:59:02WILD CHEERING

0:59:02 > 0:59:06Tonight, we're going to launch a new revolution.

0:59:07 > 0:59:13One that will rock and roll your senses.

0:59:13 > 0:59:15CHEERING

0:59:15 > 0:59:18And you...are my test pilots.

0:59:18 > 0:59:26You're going to kiss the sun and taste the motherfuckin' rainbow.

0:59:26 > 0:59:30WILD CHEERING

0:59:31 > 0:59:34Are you ready? CHEERING

0:59:34 > 0:59:39Are...you...ready? CHEERING

0:59:39 > 0:59:44Then let's get ready to party-y-y-y.

0:59:46 > 0:59:49- MUSIC: Synaesthesia (Fly Away) - by Thrillseekers

1:00:26 > 1:00:28Have you any idea how much I missed you?

1:00:28 > 1:00:30Why didn't you stay with me, then?

1:00:30 > 1:00:33What, me? In America? Don't be soft!

1:00:33 > 1:00:36Besides, I don't know who you are any more, girl.

1:00:36 > 1:00:39It's been nearly two years. I haven't heard a word.

1:00:42 > 1:00:44Still...

1:00:45 > 1:00:47I always hoped...

1:00:51 > 1:00:53..you might...

1:00:53 > 1:00:54change your mind...

1:00:55 > 1:00:58..and come home.

1:01:01 > 1:01:03We could have a fresh start.

1:01:06 > 1:01:08Aren't you going to say anything?

1:01:37 > 1:01:40This, Mr McElroy, is a fucking miracle.

1:01:40 > 1:01:46Drug use will reach epidemic proportions, revolutions will break out, governments will fall!

1:01:46 > 1:01:4820 million, and not a penny less!

1:01:48 > 1:01:51- Where do I sign? - Si... Sign?!

1:01:51 > 1:01:53This ain't some written contract.

1:01:53 > 1:01:56The kind of agreement I could take you to court and sue your ass over.

1:01:56 > 1:01:58You fuck me on this deal,

1:01:58 > 1:02:01I gotta take out a contract just to get even on the goddamn contract!

1:02:01 > 1:02:04We think we have an agreement, we think we see things the same way.

1:02:04 > 1:02:05Either we do, or we don't.

1:02:05 > 1:02:07You're either in, or you're out.

1:02:07 > 1:02:10You give me the money, I give you the formula. Are we clear?

1:02:11 > 1:02:15Crystal, Mr McElroy. Crystal.

1:02:15 > 1:02:18I'm not Leo Durant. I'm a man of my word.

1:02:18 > 1:02:20Get in my way,

1:02:20 > 1:02:22and I'm gonna have to shoot you.

1:02:24 > 1:02:27Get in my way, and I'm gonna have to shoot you again.

1:02:28 > 1:02:30I've got to work, babe.

1:02:34 > 1:02:36Fucking cow!

1:02:39 > 1:02:41SCREAMING

1:02:42 > 1:02:44Oh, fuck!

1:02:46 > 1:02:50Can't a brother just deal some goddamn drugs?

1:02:52 > 1:02:55Time to go, Elmo.

1:03:10 > 1:03:12Mr Kane. Is it that time of the month already?

1:03:12 > 1:03:15I thought you weren't due till next week, you eager beaver.

1:03:24 > 1:03:27Now, ain't that always the way?

1:03:27 > 1:03:29Elevator music, a nigger in a kilt,

1:03:29 > 1:03:32and a chick with a nickel-plated nine.

1:03:32 > 1:03:34MOBILE RINGS

1:03:36 > 1:03:38And now a word from our sponsor.

1:03:38 > 1:03:40That ain't no Liverpool accent.

1:03:41 > 1:03:43- Say hello, Elmo. - Hello, Elmo.

1:03:43 > 1:03:47'Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Elmo.

1:03:47 > 1:03:50'And The Lizard is so full of'

1:03:50 > 1:03:53motherfucking fonderence for you that he got

1:03:53 > 1:03:56'on this plane just to come see you.'

1:03:56 > 1:03:58I'm touched.

1:03:58 > 1:04:00- You will be. - You got my cash?

1:04:00 > 1:04:03You're flush, sweetcakes. You are flush.

1:04:04 > 1:04:07He's looking forward to seeing you.

1:04:19 > 1:04:22So, what's the price tag on my ass?

1:04:22 > 1:04:24It's enough. Move.

1:04:34 > 1:04:35SHE SCREAMS

1:04:38 > 1:04:41Last stop. There's nowhere from here but down.

1:04:41 > 1:04:43Reel me in!

1:04:43 > 1:04:45Why would I do a stupid thing like that?

1:04:45 > 1:04:48- Pull me up, will you? - Fold or call?

1:04:48 > 1:04:52- What? - You play poker. Fold or call?

1:04:52 > 1:04:54SHE WHIMPERS I'm your last chance, girl.

1:04:54 > 1:04:56I'm that "out" you've been looking for.

1:04:56 > 1:04:59I'm only gonna make this offer once.

1:04:59 > 1:05:02You either take it and get out from under The Lizard,

1:05:02 > 1:05:04or you stay a slave and wonder where your life went.

1:05:04 > 1:05:08You think you can save me, do you? Look where you are!

1:05:08 > 1:05:11- Get real! - A million in bonds, untraceable.

1:05:11 > 1:05:14That's real! That's a fresh start.

1:05:14 > 1:05:18Try quitting while you're ahead for a change...Dawn.

1:05:18 > 1:05:20- No.- No?!

1:05:20 > 1:05:22SHE SCREAMS

1:05:23 > 1:05:26I want 10% of your deal with Iki.

1:05:26 > 1:05:27You're negotiating with me?!

1:05:27 > 1:05:29Look at your options.

1:05:31 > 1:05:3310%.

1:05:33 > 1:05:35Have a look at yours.

1:05:39 > 1:05:41All right.

1:05:41 > 1:05:42SHE SCREAMS

1:05:52 > 1:05:55Now that is a lovely dress.

1:05:55 > 1:05:56Need the extra room, do you?

1:05:56 > 1:05:58Tell me something. I'm intrigued.

1:05:58 > 1:06:01Is it true that you fellas are equipped with incredibly...

1:06:04 > 1:06:06..large...

1:06:07 > 1:06:09Fuck!

1:06:11 > 1:06:13Thanks.

1:06:13 > 1:06:14My pleasure.

1:06:14 > 1:06:15You can move your arm now.

1:06:20 > 1:06:22- KANE:- Right then, you Scouse git.

1:06:23 > 1:06:25In the last 12 hours

1:06:25 > 1:06:28this city has gone from a peaceful fun-loving Utopia

1:06:28 > 1:06:30to an all-out fucking war zone.

1:06:30 > 1:06:32And I, Virgil Kane...

1:06:33 > 1:06:35Well, I want to know why.

1:06:35 > 1:06:41Nobody cuts me out of anything in this parochial pisshole.

1:06:41 > 1:06:42You smell that, Felix. Smell it.

1:06:42 > 1:06:45- Smell it! - HE SNIFFS

1:06:45 > 1:06:47That is essence of Durant.

1:06:48 > 1:06:51And Durant got what he deserved.

1:06:51 > 1:06:53So, when a deal goes down,

1:06:53 > 1:06:57you, my old sausage, will fix it. Time and place.

1:06:57 > 1:06:59And then you will call me.

1:06:59 > 1:07:02Otherwise... Accessory to murder.

1:07:03 > 1:07:06Possession of a firearm.

1:07:06 > 1:07:08You fuck me,

1:07:08 > 1:07:10I'll have you on your hands and your knees,

1:07:10 > 1:07:14with your arse in the air, exposing your rusty sheriff's badge for the next 20 years.

1:07:16 > 1:07:19So ask yourself, are you going to help restore

1:07:19 > 1:07:22some national pride, and stick one on the Yanks?

1:07:22 > 1:07:25Or, like the rest of your life, are you going to piss it all away?

1:07:26 > 1:07:29Are you going to help me

1:07:29 > 1:07:30to help you?

1:07:30 > 1:07:32Eight hours till kickoff.

1:07:35 > 1:07:36It's a big game.

1:07:37 > 1:07:40Let's just see if you come good.

1:07:51 > 1:07:52Mr Kane.

1:07:58 > 1:08:01See ya!

1:08:03 > 1:08:05- You'll never walk alone, eh, mate? - HE LAUGHS

1:08:16 > 1:08:18DEACTIVATES CAR ALARM

1:08:18 > 1:08:20HE LAUGHS

1:08:22 > 1:08:24Help me to help you? Cunt!

1:08:52 > 1:08:55ELMO: How do you think that motherfucker would do against people who diss

1:08:55 > 1:08:58like Soso, McGuire, Griffey? They'd be knocking this shit out the park.

1:08:58 > 1:09:01He can't throw that kinda heat. Kevin's got what's goin' on here.

1:09:01 > 1:09:04- You don't know what you're talking about. DAWN:- Bullshit.

1:09:04 > 1:09:08Kevin Brown couldn't carry Sandy Koufax's jockstrap.

1:09:08 > 1:09:10You've been listening to too much Vince Scully.

1:09:10 > 1:09:14You need to get your ear out of the radio, and carry your ass out to the ball game.

1:09:16 > 1:09:18Sorry, but, er...

1:09:19 > 1:09:20..have I missed something?

1:09:26 > 1:09:28What the fuck is that?

1:09:28 > 1:09:29Black pudding.

1:09:29 > 1:09:32- Fried pig's blood. - Oh!

1:09:32 > 1:09:34Are you two planning on filling me in, or what?

1:09:36 > 1:09:38Elmo's propositioned her.

1:09:38 > 1:09:40Nice one, Shirley.

1:09:40 > 1:09:42I'm listening.

1:09:42 > 1:09:46Lizard offered Dakota 250K to deliver my live ass to him.

1:09:46 > 1:09:50I've made her a significantly better offer.

1:09:50 > 1:09:52And I'm thinking... she might entertain...

1:09:53 > 1:09:56..certain sentimental reasons for not doing her job.

1:09:56 > 1:09:58The question is

1:09:58 > 1:10:01whether it's going to pay me... to be sentimental.

1:10:06 > 1:10:09Look, we have a choice.

1:10:09 > 1:10:13We can use our "Get out of jail free" cards,

1:10:13 > 1:10:19or we can choose "Stop, do not pass Go". Do not collect 20 million dollars.

1:10:20 > 1:10:22Do we have a deal?

1:10:27 > 1:10:29Do that again, I will definitely fucking shoot you.

1:10:29 > 1:10:32Shut your gob! Go and get yourself cleaned up!

1:10:40 > 1:10:42- And no shagging up there! - Yeah.

1:10:42 > 1:10:45No shagging up there.

1:10:57 > 1:10:59We do this job and we get out.

1:11:08 > 1:11:10It's what we all want, isn't it?

1:11:13 > 1:11:15# I don't know why

1:11:16 > 1:11:19# I love you like I do, but I do... #

1:11:19 > 1:11:20Just to get out.

1:11:24 > 1:11:27# I don't know why

1:11:27 > 1:11:29# You treat me like you do

1:11:29 > 1:11:31# But you do

1:11:32 > 1:11:34# Lord, you do... #

1:11:35 > 1:11:37So, what's the plan?

1:11:37 > 1:11:39You tell me.

1:11:42 > 1:11:45# Lord, you do me any way you please... #

1:11:46 > 1:11:48What's the plan?

1:11:48 > 1:11:50You tell me.

1:11:50 > 1:11:52# No matter how you treat me, woman

1:11:54 > 1:11:58# Lord, I just can't seem to leave

1:11:59 > 1:12:01# I don't know

1:12:01 > 1:12:05# What you're using on me, baby, but it's good

1:12:07 > 1:12:09# Ooh, it's real good

1:12:11 > 1:12:16# I know I would surely leave you, woman

1:12:16 > 1:12:18# Oh, if I could

1:12:19 > 1:12:21# I surely would

1:12:22 > 1:12:24# Ooh... #

1:12:28 > 1:12:30SQUEAKS

1:12:34 > 1:12:37CHANTING

1:12:37 > 1:12:40Listen! It's got to come from your belly.

1:12:40 > 1:12:42Right deep down!

1:12:42 > 1:12:44It's your birth trauma.

1:12:44 > 1:12:48Now cleanse your chakras and let it all out.

1:12:51 > 1:12:53THEY CHANT

1:12:54 > 1:12:58- Let it go! - I'm trying, you fucking fairy!

1:12:58 > 1:13:00A-a-a-a-ah!

1:13:00 > 1:13:04All right? A-a-a-ah!

1:13:04 > 1:13:06A-a-a-a-a-ah!

1:13:06 > 1:13:08MOBILE RINGS

1:13:09 > 1:13:12- All-righty. Good morning. - All right, let's finish this deal.

1:13:12 > 1:13:14My sentiments exactly.

1:13:15 > 1:13:18- Any particular venue? - No airports, no hotel rooms,

1:13:18 > 1:13:22no dockyards, no barges, no pharmacies,

1:13:22 > 1:13:23- no animal-testing labs.- Oh!

1:13:23 > 1:13:27- No rooftops. - Riddles! Riddles! I love riddles.

1:13:27 > 1:13:30No abandoned warehouses or rave clubs.

1:13:32 > 1:13:34I want total privacy

1:13:34 > 1:13:36in a very public place.

1:13:38 > 1:13:40And security.

1:13:40 > 1:13:42Cops. Lots of them.

1:13:42 > 1:13:45And witnesses. Thousands of witnesses.

1:13:45 > 1:13:49- You getting my drift? - Well, er, I've got a certain, er,

1:13:49 > 1:13:53business indulgence, shall we say, that I could er...utilise.

1:13:53 > 1:13:56- So, what time's kickoff? - 'Three o'clock sharp.'

1:13:56 > 1:13:57I'll be there.

1:13:57 > 1:13:59Football and drugs.

1:13:59 > 1:14:01A perfect Saturday afternoon.

1:14:03 > 1:14:05Liverpool!

1:14:05 > 1:14:07Liverpool!

1:14:07 > 1:14:08Come on!

1:14:08 > 1:14:09Chakras!

1:14:18 > 1:14:20FANS CHANT

1:14:22 > 1:14:24CAR HORN HONKS

1:14:28 > 1:14:30CHEERING

1:14:30 > 1:14:32No, no, no, no, no, chubster.

1:14:32 > 1:14:34- You stay here. - What for?

1:14:34 > 1:14:37I don't know. Keep your eyes peeled on the exit.

1:14:37 > 1:14:39And try, for fuck's sake, to blend in, cunt!

1:14:42 > 1:14:44This clown better deliver.

1:14:44 > 1:14:48Don't worry. Iki put something like this together a couple of years ago now.

1:14:48 > 1:14:50Yeah? What happened?

1:14:50 > 1:14:51They all died.

1:14:53 > 1:14:55We get in, we get out.

1:14:55 > 1:14:57What about the game?

1:14:57 > 1:15:01- We're staying to watch the game, right?- Dude, I'm in, then I'm out.

1:15:10 > 1:15:15TANNOY: 'Virgin Atlantic announce the arrival of Flight ES12 from Los Angeles.'

1:15:19 > 1:15:20Any glass bottles?

1:15:20 > 1:15:23Good afternoon, gentlemen. Welcome to Anfield, the home of football.

1:15:23 > 1:15:26- Too right, pal. - McElroy, DeSouza.

1:15:26 > 1:15:31Yes, sir. Take the lift to the third floor. It's the first door on your right, sir.

1:15:31 > 1:15:33Thank you.

1:15:34 > 1:15:36- Sir? - Don't you want to search me?

1:15:37 > 1:15:41Guests for the executive suites are never searched, sir.

1:15:42 > 1:15:44Right. I knew that.

1:15:57 > 1:15:59Welcome! Come in, come in.

1:16:02 > 1:16:05Excellent.

1:16:05 > 1:16:08I'm nothing if not hospitable, Felix. Make yourself at home.

1:16:08 > 1:16:11- IKI:- I'm so excited, I could shit.

1:16:12 > 1:16:15CROWD ROARS

1:16:17 > 1:16:19- Huh? - Right, Mr McElroy, a drink

1:16:19 > 1:16:21while I tell you about my plans.

1:16:21 > 1:16:24Oh I've got plans, Mr McElroy.

1:16:24 > 1:16:27- Big fucking plans. - Hey, hey, hey

1:16:27 > 1:16:29No talk. You want a beverage?

1:16:30 > 1:16:33I'll fix your beverage while you get the 20 mill.

1:16:34 > 1:16:36I give you the formula, you smile,

1:16:36 > 1:16:38we toast,

1:16:38 > 1:16:40we pretend we're friends,

1:16:41 > 1:16:44- and we go our separate ways. - Foreplay, Mr McElroy,

1:16:44 > 1:16:47- it's the only way to a good relationship.- Ah...

1:16:47 > 1:16:50Iki, my love, we're way past holding hands.

1:16:52 > 1:16:53WHISTLE BLOWS

1:17:03 > 1:17:0620 million in bonds. Untraceable.

1:17:06 > 1:17:10What?! Is that supposed to be 20 mill?

1:17:10 > 1:17:14I'm not heftin' gold bars around the shop, am I? It's not fucking Goldfinger, is it?

1:17:14 > 1:17:15Ah-ah-ah-ah!

1:17:15 > 1:17:17Easy, flower.

1:17:17 > 1:17:19Where's my formula?

1:17:28 > 1:17:30"Wish you were here"?

1:17:37 > 1:17:39HE LAUGHS

1:17:39 > 1:17:41CONTINUES LAUGHING

1:17:43 > 1:17:47I'm fucking there, Mr McElroy. I'm fucking there.

1:17:47 > 1:17:49An inspired choice, I must say,

1:17:49 > 1:17:51my, er...chemical brother.

1:17:52 > 1:17:53Cheers.

1:17:56 > 1:17:57Ah-ah-ah-ah!

1:18:03 > 1:18:06I never was one to be too sentimental.

1:18:08 > 1:18:10Elmo!

1:18:12 > 1:18:15It ain't often that a blowed-up motherfucker

1:18:15 > 1:18:18gets to chat to the motherfucker that blowed him up.

1:18:18 > 1:18:20You got that right.

1:18:20 > 1:18:23Usually, the blowed-up motherfucker has the courtesy to stay blowed up.

1:18:23 > 1:18:26I'll try to be more accommodating next time, Elmo.

1:18:28 > 1:18:31Ooh, cocktails! What are we celebrating?

1:18:31 > 1:18:34Oh, er...we're toasting...

1:18:35 > 1:18:37..our deal, Mr Lizard.

1:18:38 > 1:18:39- Our deal? - Not your deal.

1:18:39 > 1:18:41Hands across the ocean you might say.

1:18:41 > 1:18:43Fucking twat.

1:18:43 > 1:18:45Elmo Mix-Master.

1:18:47 > 1:18:50Cheers.

1:18:51 > 1:18:54- I love your touches. - To a global partnership.

1:18:54 > 1:18:57- LIZARD:- To a global partnership.

1:19:01 > 1:19:02Ow.

1:19:03 > 1:19:05Fucking limey bastard.

1:19:05 > 1:19:08Global partnership, my ass!

1:19:08 > 1:19:13My money is on good old-fashioned American monopoly, you son of a bitch!

1:19:13 > 1:19:15Besides,

1:19:15 > 1:19:18England ain't nothin'...

1:19:18 > 1:19:21nothin' but the 51st state!

1:19:22 > 1:19:27Don't you just fucking hate it when a motherfucker stabs you in the back?

1:19:29 > 1:19:33The Lizard travelled 12,000 miles to settle accounts with you!

1:19:33 > 1:19:35So? What?

1:19:35 > 1:19:38You gonna tell me how much you missed me, or are you gonna shoot me?

1:19:38 > 1:19:41I'm sick and tired of fucking chasing your ass!

1:19:41 > 1:19:44Now, you give me my fucking goods, and you give 'em to me fucking now!

1:19:46 > 1:19:48You better chill with that shit, motherfucker.

1:19:48 > 1:19:50- I own you.- You own me?

1:19:50 > 1:19:53- I fucking own you!- You own shit!

1:19:53 > 1:19:57Go ahead, kill me. Put me out of my misery for the first time in 30 years.

1:19:57 > 1:20:00But you will no longer take what is mine.

1:20:00 > 1:20:01Fucking right. 10% is mine.

1:20:01 > 1:20:04- Five!- Five fucking per cent of that's mine.

1:20:04 > 1:20:07Shut the fuck up! I don't even know who the fuck you are!

1:20:10 > 1:20:12Oh, you've got some big fucking onions, Elmo.

1:20:12 > 1:20:14This...

1:20:14 > 1:20:18is the most expensive candy on the market.

1:20:18 > 1:20:20The drug's a fake, you know.

1:20:20 > 1:20:24It's bogus. It's what we chemists call a placebo.

1:20:24 > 1:20:26It's whatever you want it to be.

1:20:28 > 1:20:33You can run all the tests you want, and it'll look like the best shit in the universe,

1:20:33 > 1:20:36but the ingredients... they cancel each other out.

1:20:36 > 1:20:40Fucking confusing The Lizard ain't gonna fucking help your cause, Elmo.

1:20:40 > 1:20:43You've gotta give big ups to marketing.

1:20:43 > 1:20:45The ability to make people believe.

1:20:45 > 1:20:47The power of suggestion.

1:20:47 > 1:20:51P-O-S...51.

1:20:52 > 1:20:55I don't give a shit! Is this fucking science lecture over?

1:20:55 > 1:20:58It will be in...23 seconds.

1:21:02 > 1:21:06It takes 10 seconds for an imbibed liquid to reach the stomach.

1:21:06 > 1:21:11It takes the human body 81 seconds to heat that liquid to the point of chemical volatility.

1:21:13 > 1:21:15You...have 12 seconds left.

1:21:15 > 1:21:1812 seconds? What the fuck are you talking about?

1:21:18 > 1:21:20And what is the big fucking umbrella?

1:21:20 > 1:21:21Freeze!

1:21:21 > 1:21:24- Oh!- You, lumpy, in the kaftan, drop the gun.

1:21:24 > 1:21:28Nice and controlled. How's my timing, Felix?

1:21:28 > 1:21:29It's fucking perfect.

1:21:29 > 1:21:31Ow! Argh!

1:21:31 > 1:21:34GURGLING

1:21:36 > 1:21:38Aaaargh!

1:21:38 > 1:21:39Aargh!

1:21:39 > 1:21:41CHEERING

1:21:41 > 1:21:42WHISTLE

1:21:42 > 1:21:45CHEERING

1:21:52 > 1:21:54That cleared my sinuses.

1:21:57 > 1:21:59Drugs...

1:21:59 > 1:22:01always kill you in the end.

1:22:13 > 1:22:15Whoa! Whoa. Whoa, shit!

1:22:15 > 1:22:18HE MUTTERS

1:22:18 > 1:22:20All right, lads.

1:22:20 > 1:22:23Get the cuffs on this cockney twat!

1:22:26 > 1:22:28As agreed.

1:22:30 > 1:22:32What about the drug?

1:22:32 > 1:22:35You conned us.

1:22:35 > 1:22:37I conned them.

1:22:37 > 1:22:39We got paid.

1:22:41 > 1:22:42Is this,

1:22:42 > 1:22:44or is this not, worth 20 million dollars?

1:22:48 > 1:22:49This castle's worth,

1:22:49 > 1:22:51I'd say, more like...

1:22:51 > 1:22:53seven, seven and a half.

1:23:03 > 1:23:05WHISTLE BLOWS

1:23:06 > 1:23:08Do you want to see the game?

1:23:09 > 1:23:11# Easy come

1:23:11 > 1:23:14# Easy go

1:23:14 > 1:23:17# Watch the world flow... #

1:23:36 > 1:23:39Mr McElroy,

1:23:39 > 1:23:42you are a genuine McElroy like myself, you say.

1:23:42 > 1:23:45This is the tartan of my slave master.

1:23:45 > 1:23:49I now claim his castle and his lands for my own.

1:23:49 > 1:23:51I see.

1:23:51 > 1:23:54- But will you not now be making your putt?- Aye.

1:24:02 > 1:24:07Congratulations, Mr McElroy. An outstanding round of golf.

1:24:07 > 1:24:09You ain't seen nothing yet.

1:24:15 > 1:24:17Well!

1:24:17 > 1:24:20I can tell you, it's the first time that's been seen on the 18th green.

1:24:20 > 1:24:23# Everything good is bad

1:24:24 > 1:24:27# Everything bad is good... #

1:24:27 > 1:24:29Elmo's in the house!

1:24:29 > 1:24:32# Everything good is bad

1:24:33 > 1:24:35# And everything bad is good

1:24:38 > 1:24:41# Everything good is bad

1:24:42 > 1:24:44# Everything bad is good

1:24:46 > 1:24:49# Everything good is bad... #