0:00:02 > 0:00:10This film contains very strong language.
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Do you want some banana?
0:00:13 > 0:00:15- Banana!- Yeah, banana.
0:00:17 > 0:00:18Good boy!
0:00:22 > 0:00:23Is that nice?
0:00:33 > 0:00:34HE CHUCKLES
0:00:35 > 0:00:40How many times did you wake us up last night? Mmm?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Mmm? Too many.
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Do you see that?
0:00:53 > 0:00:54What's that?
0:00:54 > 0:00:55There.
0:01:14 > 0:01:15ENGINE STARTS UP
0:01:32 > 0:01:34CAR KEY BEEPS
0:02:45 > 0:02:51TANNOY: 16:24 service to Milton Keynes Central...
0:03:08 > 0:03:10SIRENS WAILING
0:04:10 > 0:04:13BIRDS SINGING
0:06:41 > 0:06:43WOLF WHISTLE
0:06:46 > 0:06:48THEY LAUGH
0:06:50 > 0:06:52LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Oh, fuck!
0:06:58 > 0:06:59THEY LAUGH
0:07:02 > 0:07:04THEY SHOUT
0:07:07 > 0:07:09HE PANTS
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Come here!
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Oh, God! Oh, God!
0:07:18 > 0:07:19THEY SHOUT
0:07:25 > 0:07:26BIRDS SINGING
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Hey, you know, you've got lovely hair, lovely colour. Is that natural?
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Yeah.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49You know, you remind me of one of those dogs.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51You know, the red ones? Really loopy! Lots of saliva...
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- Red setters?- Red setters! That's it! A red setter!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00You have got exactly the same hair as a red setter.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14Snap!
0:09:16 > 0:09:17Snap!
0:09:20 > 0:09:21Snap!
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Black eye, snap! Who hit you?
0:09:25 > 0:09:27- Sorry?- How did you get yours? Who hit you?
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- A tree.- A tree?! A tree hit you?! Did it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36What? You had a fight with a tree, did you?
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- I...I ran into it, yeah. - You ran into it?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42How did you do that? I'm sure that hurt, did it? Did you not see it?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Yeah. It was dark, at night.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Oh, I see.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Easily done.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49So how's the tree?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Is it OK? I love trees.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53I think the tree's OK.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Oh, that's good. That's good.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I say you're a sick fudda.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59- What?- A sick fudda, I say you're a sick fudda.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01A sick what...? A sick...a sick fella?
0:10:01 > 0:10:04A sick fudda! You know, you look very tall.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Oh, a six footer?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Yes! A sick fudda!
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- How tall are you? - I'm...six foot four.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Six foot four? That is tall.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13HE SHOUTS: How's the weather up there?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15HE CHUCKLES
0:10:15 > 0:10:16The tall fellas in school, you know.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20HE SHOUTS: How's the weather up there? How's the weather up there?
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Hey! Will we have much longer to wait now?
0:10:22 > 0:10:25This fella is seriously injured, man! He's had a fight with a tree!
0:10:25 > 0:10:26I'm sorry, I can't say.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29OK. That's good. Thanks, anyway. Thanks very much.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Evans?
0:10:37 > 0:10:38Tom Evans.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41That's me.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Oh! Here he is! He's here! This is him!
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Here's Tom Evans!
0:10:48 > 0:10:49See you, Tom.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Hey, Tom! God bless.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56He's a nice fella, isn't he?
0:10:57 > 0:10:58HE WHISPERS: Tom Evans.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20Oh, fuck.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Tom, Tom! Hey, Tom!
0:11:22 > 0:11:26They just turned me away! Can you believe it? They said there's nothing wrong with me.
0:11:26 > 0:11:30I told them, I must have broken my arm or something, you know. It really hurts when I do this.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Cos I've always wanted to get one of them plaster casts,
0:11:32 > 0:11:35I'd get all my friends to sign it, they could draw things on it -
0:11:35 > 0:11:37fannies, boobies, knobs, funny things like that,
0:11:37 > 0:11:40but I've never broken a bone in my life! Can you believe it?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42My name is Aidan, by the way. Aidan Murphy.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44- Am I annoying you?- Wha...?
0:11:45 > 0:11:46- What?- Am I annoying you?
0:11:46 > 0:11:49- No. No, you're OK.- I am, aren't I? I don't mind, you can say if I do.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51No, no... You...you're not annoying me.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Oh, really? You're not just saying that?- No, no.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55You're a nice man, Tom. I like you.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00It's a lovely day, isn't it? Which way you going?
0:12:03 > 0:12:05Uh... Which way...are you going?
0:12:05 > 0:12:07I don't mind, I'm easy.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14- You know what I'd like right now? - What?
0:12:14 > 0:12:15A hot bitch.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- A hot what?- A hot bitch.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Don't you just love the bitch?
0:12:19 > 0:12:21The sun, the sea, the sand.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Oh, beach. Beaches?
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Yes! Bitches.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28You know, I can't even remember the last time I sat on a hot bitch.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I'm going to go this way, so bye.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Do you live this way, Tom? Where do you live?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48What do you do? How old are you?
0:12:48 > 0:12:49What job do you have?
0:12:59 > 0:13:03I got locked in here once, you know, late one night.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05I thought I saw a floating head.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07It turned out...it was just a plastic bag.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Oh, no! I need to go, I need to go, Tom. I need to pee.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17I can't pee in here, can I? Can I?
0:13:17 > 0:13:20The man upstairs wouldn't like that, would he?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22- The man upstairs. - Yeah, I know what you mean.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Look, just go behind that tree quickly.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26But he won't mind, will he?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Don't want to go upsetting him now,
0:13:28 > 0:13:30don't want to go incurring his wrath.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57PANTING
0:13:59 > 0:14:01PANTING INTENSIFIES
0:14:06 > 0:14:09THEY PANT
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Tom! Tom!
0:14:37 > 0:14:38There you are!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40I thought I'd lost you there for a minute.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Easily done, you know, a big place.
0:14:46 > 0:14:47I love graveyards.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Do you think it might be getting a bit overcrowded in heaven, Tom?
0:14:50 > 0:14:52I'm not... I don't really believe in heaven.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54You don't believe in heaven!
0:15:16 > 0:15:19It's just the way it is, you know. Anyway, this is where I live.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Home, sweet home!
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Do you want to come up and see my flat?
0:15:28 > 0:15:31That's very kind of you, but I...I think I'm going to get going.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36You all right there, Tom?
0:15:38 > 0:15:39You don't look too good.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42In fact, you look a bit pasty.
0:15:43 > 0:15:44I'm...I'm fine.
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Whoa! Tom! What are you doing, Tom? Are you all right?
0:15:51 > 0:15:52HE CHUCKLES
0:15:52 > 0:15:55What's going...? What's going on?
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Hello?
0:16:08 > 0:16:12HUMMING
0:16:28 > 0:16:31HE HUMS
0:16:40 > 0:16:42THEY SHOUT
0:16:42 > 0:16:45HE LAUGHS
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Oh, great! You're awake! Come on in, come on in. Sit down, sit down.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Sit down, Tom! Sit down!
0:16:50 > 0:16:53I have a beer for you.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Would you like a beer?- Yeah. - Good man, sit down.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02How...how long was I out for?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Oh. Not long, not long. I think you were just hungry, that's all.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07You're skin and bones. I'm making some ravioli.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10You'll feel better after you've eaten some ravioli. Check the ravioli, Tom.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14- Oh, sorry. I'm...I'm a vegetarian, I'm afraid.- A vegetarian?!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16What, so ravioli is no good, no?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18It's got meat in it.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Has it?! No... Is there?!
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Hang on. Uh...
0:17:23 > 0:17:24Ravioli, 53%.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Durum, semolina... I love semolina. Water...
0:17:28 > 0:17:30I can't see it. No, wait, here it is. You're right.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33Beef, 14% beef. No good?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35- It's only 14%. No?- No.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Vegetarian, uh...
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Vegetarian...
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Vegetarian...
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Do you eat ham?
0:17:44 > 0:17:45No.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49You know what I do have?
0:17:51 > 0:17:53The king of biscuits!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Custard creams!
0:17:57 > 0:18:00CRUNCHING
0:18:06 > 0:18:08HE SIGHS
0:18:17 > 0:18:20You can stay the night if you want, Tom.
0:18:20 > 0:18:25Well, uh... That's very kind of you, but I'm feeling a bit better now.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26I think I might get going.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Do you know anyone who's looking for a place to stay? Cos I'm trying to rent out that top bunk.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Erm... No, I don't.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37If you hear of anyone, will you let me know? It's going cheap.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Wait, you HAVE to see this!
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Now, that's Slim and that's Shady.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51No, wait. That's Slim and that's Shady.
0:18:51 > 0:18:52Hang on, it's hard to tell them apart.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55They're giant African snails. They have a fanny and a knob!
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Did you know that? It sounds like fun, doesn't it?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59They keep laying hundreds of eggs, but it's very sad,
0:18:59 > 0:19:01cos I have to keep throwing the babies away.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Would you like some snail babies, Tom?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07No... Not just at the moment, thanks.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Cos Linda won't let me keep the babies.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- Who's Linda?- Linda's my girlfriend.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12DOOR OPENS
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Speak of the devil! I think that might be her now!
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Is that you, Linda?!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Of course it's me!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21Who else is it going to be?
0:19:21 > 0:19:23We were just talking about you! I want you to meet Tom.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24Are your ears burning?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- Oh, they are! They're hot!- Get off!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30- Keep your blocks of ice away from me!- She's talking about my hands.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I've got very cold hands. It's my circulation.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Same with my feet. I'm like Mr Freeze.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Can I get in, please? And who's Lurch?
0:19:37 > 0:19:39This is my new friend, Tom.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43He's a vegetarian and he doesn't believe in heaven.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44How much did you make today?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Erm... Not as much as yesterday.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- You hardly made anything yesterday. - I know that.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56It just wasn't that good of a day, I suppose.
0:19:56 > 0:19:57Is this it? Jesus...
0:20:06 > 0:20:10- Did you have the last of the beers? - You can have some of that if you want. There's not much left...
0:20:10 > 0:20:13- It's a bit warm, I can put it in the fridge.- I don't fucking want that, do I?!
0:20:13 > 0:20:16Now, go and get some more beers now.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18OK. Right away.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35What do you want now?
0:20:35 > 0:20:38Can you give me that money I just gave you? I don't have enough.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41No, I fucking can't! Why do you always make me do that, Aidan?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Why do you always have to fucking rile me?
0:20:43 > 0:20:45You've always got to push my fucking buttons.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I don't even want another drink.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50And get fucking Lurch out my fucking house now. Fuck off!
0:20:53 > 0:20:55She's a lovely girl, really.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59She didn't even hit me that hard. She's only messing, like, you know?
0:20:59 > 0:21:02She can hit a lot harder than that, I can tell you.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05She's had a bit of a rough life, you know?
0:21:05 > 0:21:08Yes, well, I think I'd better get going now.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Are you sure you feel well enough?
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I'm fine, thanks. Thanks for everything.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Think nothing of it. We should meet up soon.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18You know where I live so come round any time.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Sure. Sure. I will.
0:21:21 > 0:21:25It was lovely meeting you. Look at how tall you are.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27- I'm like a Munchkin standing next to you.- Get him out now!
0:21:27 > 0:21:30He's going! He's going!
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I'll see you soon.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Thanks for a super time.
0:21:34 > 0:21:35Super time.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Hiya. Could I have a tea, please?
0:23:56 > 0:23:57That's £1, please, mate.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45One second. There's someone at the door.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Hello.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48I'm sorry, love. You are?
0:24:49 > 0:24:52I'm Tom, I was here last night with Aidan.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Aidan's not here.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Sorry, excuse me.
0:24:57 > 0:25:01You didn't happen to find some money, did you?
0:25:01 > 0:25:04I've lost some money and I've just been retracing my steps.
0:25:04 > 0:25:09How much are we talking? 50p? 20p? £1? What?
0:25:09 > 0:25:12No. More like £200.
0:25:16 > 0:25:17£200?
0:25:20 > 0:25:22£200?
0:25:22 > 0:25:24I thought it might have slipped down behind the sofa.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28I just spring-cleaned the whole flat and there ain't nothing in there.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29So...
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I don't mean to be rude but could I just...?
0:25:36 > 0:25:38No. Well, I've looked, haven't I?
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Sorry, mate.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45OK, all right, thanks.
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- Thanks anyway. - Yeah, all right, bye.- Bye.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Excuse me. Sorry to bother you.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- You couldn't spare me any change, could you?- What?
0:26:23 > 0:26:25Could you spare me a bit of change, please?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- No.- What's that? Sorry?
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- I was wondering if you could spare any change.- Oh, no, sorry.
0:27:06 > 0:27:09- You've got lovely hair. Do you know that?- What?- Lovely colour.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11- Is it natural?- Yeah.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16Do you have mice? Do you have any mice?
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Mice? I don't think so. I don't know. I hope not.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22You probably do, you just haven't realised it yet.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25They're incontinent, you know that? They wee all over your surfaces.
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Joe? Can you come here, please?
0:27:27 > 0:27:31This is Treacle. All mice tremble in fear in his mighty presence.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33I charge £2.50 for the initial...
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Joe! Joe!
0:27:35 > 0:27:37He's a bit slow because he's wobbly on his legs but once the mice
0:27:37 > 0:27:40get a whiff of him you'll never hear from them again.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42I'll get him out and let him wander round, shall I?
0:27:42 > 0:27:46No. Don't do that. Let me get my boss. OK? Joe!
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Check your toasters as well. The trays at the bottom,
0:27:49 > 0:27:52sometimes the crumbs aren't crumbs. It's mouse poo!
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- All right, man. Do you want to come over here?- Are you the owner?
0:28:02 > 0:28:06- Yes, yes. Just come around. - Brilliant, round this way?
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- Through the door. - Out the back, is it?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Aargh!
0:28:48 > 0:28:50Aaargh!
0:29:02 > 0:29:05Don't you ever come to my shop and bother my customers again.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09You hear me? What the fuck are you smiling for?
0:29:09 > 0:29:11Don't you ever, ever show your face in this shop again.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14I'm going to put your head in the deep fryer.
0:29:14 > 0:29:17I'm going to deep-fry your fucking face. You understand?
0:29:17 > 0:29:19What you fucking smiling about?
0:29:21 > 0:29:26- Stupid man.- Sorry about that. - Fuck off!
0:29:56 > 0:29:57Aidan, it's me.
0:29:57 > 0:29:59Tom? Is that you?
0:30:00 > 0:30:01Here, let me help you up.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04Fancy meeting you here. Oh, look, I'm going to get blood all over you.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06No. It's fine, it's fine. Come on.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Are you OK to stand?
0:30:13 > 0:30:15I'm OK. I'm grand, I'm grand.
0:30:15 > 0:30:17You don't look grand.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Look at my eyes.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22What for?
0:30:22 > 0:30:24Just close your eyes.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Open them again.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28- Close them.- Are you a doctor, Tom?
0:30:28 > 0:30:31No. I just want to see if you have concussion or not,
0:30:31 > 0:30:33- see if your pupils are fixed. - You sound like a doctor.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35I'm not a doctor.
0:30:35 > 0:30:41Now, when I say, "Go," I want you to open your eyes really wide
0:30:41 > 0:30:42and look straight at me.
0:30:42 > 0:30:44OK? Ready?
0:30:44 > 0:30:46Yes, I'm ready.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48OK, go. That's it. That's it. There you are.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55You haven't got a concussion.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57I think you should still get checked out.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01- You took so many blows to the head. - I'm OK. I've got a skull like a rock.
0:31:01 > 0:31:04I've never broken a bone in my body in my entire life.
0:31:04 > 0:31:05I haven't. I swear.
0:31:05 > 0:31:07I must have bones of steel or something.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10Or else very bendy bones like rubber bones.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12Treacle! Oh, no, Treacle!
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Treacle's missing! Mrs Brophy's going to go crazy!
0:31:16 > 0:31:19She'll never speak to me again in my life. This is awful.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22- This is terrible! Treacle! Treacle! - We'll find him.
0:31:22 > 0:31:24Tom , you have to help me find him!
0:31:24 > 0:31:25- Treacle?- Treacle!
0:31:25 > 0:31:29Tom, you have to help me find him! Tom, you have to help me find him!
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Treacle! Treacle!
0:31:31 > 0:31:33It's Uncle Aidan. It's Uncle Aidan.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36- Treacle?- Treacle!
0:31:36 > 0:31:37Treacle?
0:31:40 > 0:31:41Treacle!
0:31:42 > 0:31:43Treacle!
0:32:07 > 0:32:08Treacle!
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Treacle!
0:32:19 > 0:32:20Treacle!
0:32:22 > 0:32:23Treacle?
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Treacle?
0:32:26 > 0:32:27Treacle!
0:32:33 > 0:32:36- He doesn't look good, does he?- No.
0:32:41 > 0:32:43I wonder how he died.
0:32:45 > 0:32:46How old was he?
0:32:46 > 0:32:50He wasn't that old. Like 16, 17.
0:32:52 > 0:32:5317? That's really old.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58Poor Mrs Brophy. Treacle was all she had.
0:33:00 > 0:33:01She's a very lonely lady.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06I don't like to think of people on their own.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08People shouldn't be on their own.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12What can we do, Tom?
0:33:12 > 0:33:15Mrs Brophy is such a nice lady.
0:33:16 > 0:33:17Fuck off, you retard.
0:33:20 > 0:33:23I'm really sorry, Mrs Brophy! I'm really, really sorry.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29Are you sure you don't want the kitten? I think he's really lovely.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31I was thinking maybe you could call him Treacle Jr.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33Fuck off.
0:33:33 > 0:33:37I don't think she wants him.
0:33:37 > 0:33:38What am I going to do with him?
0:33:38 > 0:33:42I can't keep him, Linda hates cats, she's super allergic to them.
0:34:10 > 0:34:14He's lovely, isn't he? I love you. Oh, I love you.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16But nobody wants you.
0:34:16 > 0:34:22You're an orphan, Treacle, a little orphan just like me.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24We could be orphans together.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26You're an orphan?
0:34:26 > 0:34:28My mammy and daddy gave me up.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30Were you adopted?
0:34:30 > 0:34:33No. I didn't have much luck with that.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Do you know why your parents gave you up?
0:34:35 > 0:34:37I was a blue baby.
0:34:37 > 0:34:38The cord was all wrapped around me
0:34:38 > 0:34:41so they thought I was going to turn out like,
0:34:41 > 0:34:47"Hello. My name is Aidan. It's really nice to meet you."
0:34:47 > 0:34:50But instead, you know, I just turned out fine.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57- Have you ever met your parents since?- No. I did write to them
0:34:57 > 0:35:00but they've been a bit slow getting back to me.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04But what about you, Tom? I don't know much about you.
0:35:04 > 0:35:05Oh...
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Sorry. I get very affectionate when I'm drunk.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10Very affectionate.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13- Sorry. Am I bothering you? - No, you're fine.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16You've got lovely eyes, you know that?
0:35:16 > 0:35:21Anyone ever tell you that? Lovely long lashes. Like a horse.
0:35:21 > 0:35:22Can I get you another drink?
0:35:22 > 0:35:24No, I'm going to go...
0:35:24 > 0:35:27Oh, come on, let me get you another. You saved my life today,
0:35:27 > 0:35:28it's the least I can do.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30I really didn't save your life.
0:35:30 > 0:35:31You did come to my rescue.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34Yeah, but you lost a source of income.
0:35:34 > 0:35:36Sure, I've got millions of other ways of making money.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38I'm an entrepreneur. That's what I do.
0:35:38 > 0:35:43I cut people's hedges, I wash people's bins, I do anything.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46Besides, I've got my savings, see?
0:35:46 > 0:35:49I'm saving up, you see?
0:35:49 > 0:35:51What are you saving for?
0:36:07 > 0:36:08What do you think?
0:36:08 > 0:36:10Very good.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13Beautiful, isn't she? Only the best for me. Won't be long now.
0:36:13 > 0:36:16She's going to be mine. Paul, best one in the shop. Isn't she?
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Paul, best one in the shop?
0:36:19 > 0:36:21I'm starting a band, you see.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23Ask me who's in my band. Ask me.
0:36:23 > 0:36:24Who's in your band?
0:36:24 > 0:36:26Me, myself and I.
0:36:29 > 0:36:33You know The White Stripes? It's just guitar, drums and vocals.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Very stripped back, yeah? Very stripped back.
0:36:35 > 0:36:38Well, me, I take things that one stage further.
0:36:38 > 0:36:40It's just drums and vocals. You understand, Tom?
0:36:40 > 0:36:43It's different, you see? People want something different, don't they?
0:36:43 > 0:36:46- Do you want to hear one of me songs? - Well...
0:36:46 > 0:36:49# I am the holy man! I am the holy man!
0:36:49 > 0:36:54# There's people in there, fuck it! They're standing in their pockets
0:36:54 > 0:36:57# Don't go there after dark A vampire bat will come get you
0:36:58 > 0:37:00# Wooo! I'm the holy man! #
0:37:04 > 0:37:06Do you want to hear another one?
0:37:06 > 0:37:09When you find something you're good at, you just go with it, don't you?
0:37:09 > 0:37:13- You do.- It's like the sticks are extensions of my hands.
0:37:13 > 0:37:16It's like I've got stick hands.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19It makes me feel very happy when I drum. I feel free.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21I feel like I'm in heaven.
0:37:21 > 0:37:24I've been keeping some money back from Linda, you know.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26She'd go loopy if she knew I was saving up for those drums.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30Loopy! Those drums, you know,
0:37:30 > 0:37:32they're my ticket to fame and fortune.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34I'm going to be famous one day.
0:37:34 > 0:37:35When you're famous,
0:37:35 > 0:37:39all sorts of people come out of the woodwork, don't they?
0:37:39 > 0:37:42That'd be a good way to meet my mother and father again, wouldn't it?
0:37:42 > 0:37:44Just using the old noggin, you see?
0:37:46 > 0:37:49How do you know you're going to be famous?
0:38:04 > 0:38:06You've had trouble with animals today. Am I right?
0:38:06 > 0:38:08Yes! Yes! We have, haven't we, Tom?
0:38:08 > 0:38:11- Something to do with cats? - A cat! Yes!
0:38:11 > 0:38:13Hear that, Tom? Amazing. Amazing.
0:38:13 > 0:38:17- What else?- I see a new lady in your life.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Linda? Is it Linda? It has to be Linda. Is she black?
0:38:20 > 0:38:22She is black.
0:38:22 > 0:38:23It is Linda. That's amazing.
0:38:23 > 0:38:26I don't think you can trust her.
0:38:26 > 0:38:29- What?- She don't have your best interests at heart.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31Oh, no. That's not Linda. It must be someone else.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32Someone close to you.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34Well, there's Mrs Brophy.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36She lives a few doors down, that's pretty close.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38- That's not what I mean. - She's not black.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41She does use sun beds quite a lot. Could it be that?
0:38:42 > 0:38:47- You have a very strange aura. - Did you hear that, Tom? That's lucky!
0:38:47 > 0:38:49You never said that to me. This is Tom.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52He's a vegetarian and he doesn't believe in heaven.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55Oh. I see. So I'll be guessing you don't believe in auras then?
0:38:55 > 0:38:57No, sorry, I don't.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00Don't say that, Tom! Don't say that. He doesn't really mean that.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03- Yes, I do.- Esther, quick, tell him about my famous thing.
0:39:03 > 0:39:06Wait till you hear this, Tom. This will blow you away!
0:39:06 > 0:39:08Well, the very first time I saw Aidan I could tell
0:39:08 > 0:39:10he was going to be famous.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12You hear that? The very first time.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15She's only said that to one other person and that person turned out
0:39:15 > 0:39:17- to be a famous belly dancer. - A belly dancer?
0:39:17 > 0:39:19- Ballet dancer. - A belly dancer, that's what I said.
0:39:19 > 0:39:23She went to the Royal School Of Belly Dancing, isn't that right?
0:39:23 > 0:39:25I see Tom's still not convinced.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27Esther, will you do Tom for me?
0:39:27 > 0:39:29No. No way. I'm not interested, thanks.
0:39:29 > 0:39:31- Wait and see. It'll be great. - No.
0:39:34 > 0:39:35You're not very well, are you?
0:39:35 > 0:39:37You not very well? What's wrong with you, Tom?
0:39:37 > 0:39:42- Who's Sam?- "Who's Sam?" she says. She said, "Who's Sam?" Who is Sam?
0:39:42 > 0:39:44This is clearly bullshit.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49- Fuck this.- Tom! Wait for me. Where are you going?
0:39:49 > 0:39:52- Aidan, you've forgotten something. - Oh, yes. Sorry about that.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55Wait up, Tom. Wait, wait.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59- Tom! What's wrong? - Leave me alone.- What's the matter?
0:39:59 > 0:40:02- Was it something she said? - Leave me the fuck alone.
0:40:02 > 0:40:04- What's the matter? - Fucking leave me alone.
0:40:04 > 0:40:07- Have I done something wrong?- Yes! You never leave me the fuck alone!
0:40:07 > 0:40:10I've been trying to get away from you from day fucking one!
0:40:10 > 0:40:14- Well, Tom...- Oh, shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16I can't cope with people.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18I can't even talk to my wife, I can't talk to my best friends.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21Why on earth do you think I'd want to talk to you?
0:40:27 > 0:40:29What about Treacle Jr?
0:41:39 > 0:41:41'Tom's very sad, ain't he?'
0:41:44 > 0:41:46'I think we need to help him, don't you?'
0:41:46 > 0:41:48CAT PURRS
0:41:54 > 0:41:58'I wish I could just hang on to you... even just for a little while.'
0:42:01 > 0:42:04'You probably have no idea that you're going to die one day, do you?
0:42:05 > 0:42:07'That's a really nice thing.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10'Not to have a worry in the world.'
0:42:13 > 0:42:14DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
0:42:16 > 0:42:18Aidan.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23- Aidan?- Hello!
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Where are you?
0:42:33 > 0:42:34Hi, how's it going?
0:42:35 > 0:42:39I've had such a fucking awful night. Oh, God.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43I'm fucked.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53- Here, massage my neck for me. - Of course! I love doing that!
0:42:57 > 0:43:02- Ow! God! Ouch! No! It's too hard, Aidan!- Sorry about that.
0:43:04 > 0:43:08- Is that a bruise?- Argh! Don't poke it, you retard!
0:43:10 > 0:43:15- Sorry about that. - Yeah, all right. All right!
0:43:23 > 0:43:24What?
0:43:27 > 0:43:29Take your trousers off.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32Take my trousers off?
0:43:32 > 0:43:38- Yeah, take your trousers off.- What? Why?- What do you think?
0:43:42 > 0:43:44- I thought you said we were never going to do this.- I know.
0:43:44 > 0:43:48And don't get any ideas cos I ain't going to make a habit out of it.
0:43:52 > 0:43:56You know, like, I've never really done this before.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59Well, maybe at that school, when one of the Christian brothers...
0:43:59 > 0:44:03Shut up.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05OK.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07SHE MOANS
0:44:09 > 0:44:10What's going on?
0:44:10 > 0:44:12SHE SNEEZES
0:44:15 > 0:44:19- Has there been a cat in here?- What? No, what makes you think that?
0:44:19 > 0:44:23Don't fucking lie to me, Aidan, cos I can feel it!
0:44:23 > 0:44:25Oh, God. I've got to get out of here.
0:44:29 > 0:44:33I want you to hoover up before I get back, all right?
0:44:33 > 0:44:35God, it's all right for you cos you do not know how I suffer!
0:44:35 > 0:44:38I don't want that bloody cat in here ever again
0:44:38 > 0:44:40cos I will fucking kill you, Aidan!
0:44:40 > 0:44:41For fuck's sake!
0:44:41 > 0:44:44OK, OK, I won't! I won't.
0:44:44 > 0:44:45LINDA SNEEZES
0:44:45 > 0:44:47DOOR CLOSES
0:44:51 > 0:44:53CAT MEOWS
0:44:55 > 0:45:00Look here. Look here. Don't worry, everything is going to be all right.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37KNOCK ON DOOR
0:47:43 > 0:47:46- Oh, hello. Aidan.- Yeah?
0:47:46 > 0:47:47It's Lurch.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49LINDA SNEEZES
0:47:49 > 0:47:52- Bless you.- Well, come on.
0:47:52 > 0:47:56- You're letting all the cold air in standing there.- Tom!
0:47:56 > 0:47:59Tom, I'm so happy to see you! So happy to see you! Where did you go?
0:47:59 > 0:48:04- How you been? Are you all right? - I've come to apologise.
0:48:04 > 0:48:08- Apologise? What for? - I was very rude to you yesterday.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10No, you're just upset, I understand that.
0:48:10 > 0:48:15That's very gracious of you, but I said things I shouldn't have said.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19- You're a nice man...- Don't be saying that, you know? I blush very easily.
0:48:19 > 0:48:23I blush very easily. Am I going a bit beetroot? I feel a bit beetroot.
0:48:23 > 0:48:26Anyway...there's something I wanted to ask you -
0:48:26 > 0:48:31- if it's OK if I could stay with you for a bit?- Huh?- I'd pay rent.
0:48:31 > 0:48:32You want to rent out the top bunk!?
0:48:32 > 0:48:35- If that's OK?- If that's OK?! That's brilliant news!
0:48:35 > 0:48:40- That's brilliant! - I've got some money. Here.
0:48:40 > 0:48:43- What's that?- Here.
0:48:43 > 0:48:46My goodness! That looks like quite a lot of money...
0:48:46 > 0:48:47A couple of hundred.
0:48:47 > 0:48:51A couple of hundred?! You could stay for ever for that!
0:48:51 > 0:48:54- It's too much. I couldn't take that. - No, please, please take it.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57- It's an advance. It's what people normally do.- Is it?
0:48:57 > 0:49:00Yes. Is it? OK. OK.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03All right. So...
0:49:03 > 0:49:06Wow! Looks like I can afford me drums now! Brilliant news!
0:49:06 > 0:49:07What are you so happy about?
0:49:07 > 0:49:09Tom's agreed to rent out the top bunk!
0:49:09 > 0:49:11Oh, yeah?
0:49:11 > 0:49:17Yes. He's given me £100. £100 upfront, isn't that great news?
0:49:17 > 0:49:21Oh? Well, you've just got money to burn, haven't you?
0:49:21 > 0:49:24I think that this calls for a PARTY!
0:49:25 > 0:49:32I am the king! I am the king! Bow to me! Bow to me!
0:50:50 > 0:50:52I didn't know you had a kid.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55- He looks nothing like you. - SHE GIGGLES
0:50:55 > 0:50:58I never knew you had a kid, Tom. You never said. Give us a look.
0:50:58 > 0:51:03I love kids! Come on, give us a look. Does he have your eyes, Tom?
0:51:03 > 0:51:06Tom has lovely eyes.
0:51:06 > 0:51:14What's his name, Tom? Tom, what is his name? What is his name?
0:51:14 > 0:51:16What's his name?
0:51:19 > 0:51:21MUSIC BLARES FROM THE OTHER ROOM
0:52:11 > 0:52:14How much longer are you going to be in there?
0:52:19 > 0:52:21I need you.
0:52:22 > 0:52:25Can you come OUT, please?
0:52:37 > 0:52:38I need you.
0:52:39 > 0:52:44Fucking lightweight. Come on, you drunken fuck.
0:52:44 > 0:52:47AIDAN LAUGHS
0:52:51 > 0:52:54It's all right, babe. I've got it from here. Come on.
0:52:54 > 0:52:56AIDAN LAUGHS
0:52:56 > 0:53:02- What are you laughing at?- I can't believe Tom gave us so much money.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06Mr Moneybags. He is loaded.
0:53:06 > 0:53:09You should charge him more for that top bunk.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11He gave me £200, that's loads!
0:53:11 > 0:53:17- It was £100, you retard. - No, it was 200. 200.
0:53:17 > 0:53:21- I kept some back for my savings. - Your savings, eh?
0:53:21 > 0:53:25What are you saving up for?
0:53:25 > 0:53:31- For my drums, of course. - Your drums?
0:53:31 > 0:53:33HE LAUGHS
0:53:47 > 0:53:51Just us diehards now, eh?
0:53:51 > 0:53:55- I'm off to bed.- You're not quitting the party so soon, are you?
0:53:58 > 0:54:02So...do you always walk around with bags of cash on you?
0:54:04 > 0:54:10- Not really, no.- You should be careful around here, definitely.
0:54:10 > 0:54:16Some fuckers would slit your throat for ten pence. I should know...
0:54:16 > 0:54:17most of them are my mates.
0:54:22 > 0:54:23Aidan was right.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28You do have lovely eyes.
0:54:30 > 0:54:36- Very sexy eyes actually. - Please, don't do that. Don't do...
0:54:38 > 0:54:43Aidan calls you the gentle giant. That's just what you are, ain't you?
0:54:43 > 0:54:50The gentle giant. Except you're not so gentle any more now, hey?
0:54:50 > 0:54:55You're quite hard actually. The hard giant.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57SHE SPITS
0:54:59 > 0:55:01Yeah...
0:55:01 > 0:55:03HE GASPS
0:55:07 > 0:55:08Oh!
0:55:23 > 0:55:25Oops.
0:55:38 > 0:55:42Have a good sleep, won't you? Don't fall out the top bunk.
0:56:27 > 0:56:29Choose a hand!
0:56:29 > 0:56:32What? Erm...
0:56:36 > 0:56:41Choose another hand. Uh-uh, wrong one.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45The key to the castle. Now you can come and go as you please
0:56:45 > 0:56:50but you must be making sure to be home before dark. Only joking.
0:56:50 > 0:56:54Now, to celebrate you becoming part of the family - you, me,
0:56:54 > 0:56:58Linda, the snails - I'm going to take you out for a special treat.
0:56:58 > 0:57:02- You don't have to do that.- Oh, but I want to, Tom. I want to.
0:57:02 > 0:57:07- It's a mystery tour. Do you like mysteries?- Um...
0:57:07 > 0:57:11Oh, you have to come, Tom. It's called the Horniman Museum.
0:57:11 > 0:57:15Oh, feck! I can't believe I just told you. I'm rubbish at keeping secrets.
0:57:15 > 0:57:17You have to come, Tom. You have to come.
0:59:48 > 0:59:49DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
0:59:57 > 0:59:59Holy Jesus!
0:59:59 > 1:00:02I didn't see you there! What are you doin' sitting there in the dark?
1:00:02 > 1:00:04- What happened to your arm? - What? Oh, this?
1:00:06 > 1:00:08- I was mugged by some fella. - Mugged?!
1:00:08 > 1:00:10- Yeah.- You OK?
1:00:10 > 1:00:12Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
1:00:13 > 1:00:16- Did he take anything? - Only me savings.
1:00:17 > 1:00:19- All of your savings?! - Yes, how unlucky's that?
1:00:20 > 1:00:22Aidan, I'm sorry.
1:00:22 > 1:00:25Oh, it's OK, know what I mean? Out of one hand, into the other.
1:00:25 > 1:00:28That's what I always say. That's another way of looking at it.
1:00:28 > 1:00:32I broke me arm, I have a cast, so it's not all doom and gloom, is it?
1:00:34 > 1:00:38- Did he break your arm? - Yes, well...
1:00:38 > 1:00:41Kind of when he come at me, I tripped on the kerb and kind of fell funny.
1:00:41 > 1:00:43It must have been the easiest mugging in history.
1:00:43 > 1:00:45Will you sign my cast for me, Tom? Will you sign it?
1:00:45 > 1:00:47- (Sure.)- Great!
1:00:49 > 1:00:51You're the first to sign it, Tom.
1:00:51 > 1:00:53What d'you want to draw? What you going to draw?
1:00:53 > 1:00:56What's that? Is that an aeroplane?
1:00:56 > 1:00:58Oh, is that a tree?
1:00:58 > 1:01:02That's not a tree, is it, Tom? That's a knob, boobies and a fanny!
1:01:02 > 1:01:06You remembered, Tom! You remembered! Good man!
1:01:13 > 1:01:15- Have you told the police?- Ah, no.
1:01:15 > 1:01:18- Why not?- Linda said, "There's no point, we'll never catch them,
1:01:18 > 1:01:19"and the money's all spent now."
1:01:19 > 1:01:21That's not the point.
1:01:22 > 1:01:24Did you see what he looked like?
1:01:24 > 1:01:28Oh, yeah, a funny-looking fella. A drippy eyelid.
1:01:28 > 1:01:30- A drippy eyelid? - A drippy eyelid. Like this...
1:01:32 > 1:01:35- A DROOPY eyelid? - Yes, a drippy eyelid. Like this...
1:01:42 > 1:01:44How you doin', Linda? Have you been out shopping?
1:01:44 > 1:01:47No, I'm a mad bag lady(!)
1:01:47 > 1:01:50Oh, that's funny. Oh, that's very funny!
1:01:50 > 1:01:54I'm going to try this on. I'm going to use the mirror in your room so DON'T come in.
1:01:55 > 1:01:58She's very funny, isn't she, Tom? D'you think she's funny?
1:01:58 > 1:02:01I think that's important in a relationship - laughter.
1:02:01 > 1:02:03We never stop laughing.
1:02:03 > 1:02:06She might be a tough girl, but she's got a soft side as well, you know?
1:02:06 > 1:02:10- A quiet side.- What the fuck is this?!
1:02:10 > 1:02:12- MEOW - What the fuck is this?
1:02:12 > 1:02:14- Ah...- It's a fucking kitten.
1:02:14 > 1:02:17Yes, that is a kitten. That's Treacle Junior.
1:02:17 > 1:02:21- Oh... No! Be careful! YELLS:- It's a fucking kitten!
1:02:21 > 1:02:24- Look, I can explain.- You kept a kitten in here, how fucking long?
1:02:24 > 1:02:26- Um...- All this fucking time?!
1:02:26 > 1:02:31- I can explain... - I'm fucking allergic to cats, you fucking piece of fucking shit!
1:02:31 > 1:02:34Aah! You fucking did it on fucking purpose, didn't you?!
1:02:34 > 1:02:39- Listen...- You fucking retard! - HE YELLS IN PAIN
1:02:40 > 1:02:42- TOM SCREAMS - Leave him alone!
1:02:42 > 1:02:44What are you fucking on?
1:02:45 > 1:02:48CAT MEOWS
1:02:48 > 1:02:51Don't talk to me like that. Cos I know Billy Paul, yeah?
1:02:51 > 1:02:53I know fucking gangsters, yeah,
1:02:53 > 1:02:56that would slice your fucking head off!
1:02:58 > 1:03:00I'll cut your fucking head off!
1:03:02 > 1:03:04- Tom, Tom, Tom!- Calm down, eh?
1:03:04 > 1:03:07No, I won't fucking calm down! I won't fucking calm down!
1:03:08 > 1:03:10- She stole your money, Aidan.- What?
1:03:10 > 1:03:12- She stole your money. - No, she didn't, Tom.
1:03:12 > 1:03:14It was the fella with the drippy eye stole my money.
1:03:14 > 1:03:19- She was fucking him in the cemetery. - No, Tom, no!- Fuck off!
1:03:19 > 1:03:22- Don't fucking do me, you... - SHE GASPS
1:03:22 > 1:03:25- Tom!- Why don't you fucking tell the truth for once?
1:03:25 > 1:03:29Why don't you tell the truth? Why don't you tell the truth?
1:03:29 > 1:03:32Why don't you? Why don't you tell the truth?
1:03:32 > 1:03:35SHE PANTS Tell me to talk. Want me to talk, Tom?
1:03:35 > 1:03:37- You're lying.- No, she's not lying.
1:03:37 > 1:03:41She's asthmatic. She's asthmatic, Tom! She's having an attack.
1:03:43 > 1:03:45Tom! She's asthmatic. She's asthmatic! Get the puffer!
1:03:45 > 1:03:50Get the puffer! We have to get the puffer! Get the puffer! Get the puffer!
1:03:50 > 1:03:52Linda, where's your puffer? Your bag... It's in the bag...
1:03:52 > 1:03:55Look! Tom, look. What am I going to do? Oh!
1:03:55 > 1:03:59SHE CHOKES Help me, Tom! Help me!
1:03:59 > 1:04:04Help me, Tom! Tom, it's under... I've got to get it. Tom! Help, help!
1:04:04 > 1:04:08Come on! Aah! Come on. Tom! I got to get the puffer!
1:04:08 > 1:04:12Tom, you reach down. I'll go and look. You reach down to get the puffer.
1:04:12 > 1:04:17- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - AIDAN WAILS
1:04:17 > 1:04:20SHE GASPS FOR AIR
1:04:20 > 1:04:22CAT MEOWS
1:04:44 > 1:04:45How are you feeling now? Better?
1:04:49 > 1:04:50Take some of that.
1:05:03 > 1:05:06OK, when you're feeling a bit better I think maybe...
1:05:06 > 1:05:09you should get your stuff together. Cos I want you to leave.
1:05:15 > 1:05:18I want you to go, I want you to get out of my flat.
1:05:21 > 1:05:25- You're breaking up with me? - It's not funny, Linda, I'm serious.
1:05:26 > 1:05:28Cos I know what you've been getting up to.
1:05:30 > 1:05:32I'm not stupid.
1:05:32 > 1:05:37Or maybe I am a bit stupid, but I'm not as stupid as people think I am.
1:05:37 > 1:05:40And I won't be letting you get away with certain things cos I feel sorry for you.
1:05:41 > 1:05:43You...
1:05:43 > 1:05:47- feel sorry for ME?!- Yes, I do feel sorry for you. Yes, I do.
1:05:47 > 1:05:49SHE LAUGHS
1:05:49 > 1:05:51HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
1:05:51 > 1:05:53Fuck off!
1:05:53 > 1:05:57Listen, Linda. I know fellas have been a bit rough with you in the past and everything,
1:05:57 > 1:06:00but I would NEVER hurt you like that! Never!
1:06:00 > 1:06:03But look, I just can't help you any more. D'you understand?
1:06:03 > 1:06:07Treacle Junior's staying here so you're going to have to go, you're going to have to go!
1:06:08 > 1:06:12You're choosing the cat...over me?
1:06:12 > 1:06:15Yes, I am. Yes, I am, cos I love that cat! I love that cat!
1:06:24 > 1:06:26- DOOR SQUEAKS - Oh, God!
1:06:27 > 1:06:30You know...
1:06:30 > 1:06:33You're a fucking slow, spasticated cunt
1:06:33 > 1:06:37and you always fucking will be, you fucking RETARD!
1:06:37 > 1:06:40And you're a...nasty person!
1:06:40 > 1:06:44You're a...nasty person. You're a nasty person.
1:06:44 > 1:06:48Because, you know what? I'm going to get ten cats!
1:06:48 > 1:06:50I'm going to get ten cats!
1:07:05 > 1:07:07HE PANTS I just...
1:07:10 > 1:07:12HE LAUGHS
1:07:27 > 1:07:28Are you OK, Aidan?
1:07:30 > 1:07:31I'm all right.
1:07:33 > 1:07:35I'll miss her though, you know?
1:07:38 > 1:07:41I liked her. I mean, she wasn't really my girlfriend.
1:07:42 > 1:07:46Maybe she's a bit angry, but... I hope she works things out.
1:07:46 > 1:07:49I'd like to see her again, maybe when she calms down a bit.
1:07:50 > 1:07:52Maybe when I'm famous.
1:07:54 > 1:07:57All kinds of people come out the woodwork when you're famous.
1:08:00 > 1:08:02Did you ever want to be famous, Tom?
1:08:03 > 1:08:07- Yeah...when I was five. - What did you want to be?
1:08:09 > 1:08:12- I wanted to be an astronaut. - Astronaut, did you?
1:08:15 > 1:08:17My father thought it was a silly idea.
1:08:20 > 1:08:24Architect, he said, that's a proper job, good money.
1:08:26 > 1:08:28And that's what I ended up doing.
1:08:28 > 1:08:33Pretty similar things now, Tom, you know? Astronaut, architect...
1:08:33 > 1:08:34both begins with "A".
1:08:38 > 1:08:41Are you sad, Tom, that you never became an astronaut?
1:08:43 > 1:08:44I've been to space.
1:08:46 > 1:08:47Have you?
1:08:49 > 1:08:51I'm still up there.
1:08:57 > 1:09:01I miss my family though. I hadn't planned on that.
1:09:04 > 1:09:07It's easy to disappear up there.
1:09:09 > 1:09:11The longer you're away...
1:09:13 > 1:09:15..the harder it is to come back.
1:09:47 > 1:09:48BUZZER RINGS
1:09:53 > 1:09:56- Your bush needs seeing to. - I'm sorry?
1:09:56 > 1:09:59Your bush. It's massive. It's like the biggest bush on the street.
1:09:59 > 1:10:02Looks like it could do with a trim, will I cut it for you?
1:10:02 > 1:10:06- The hedge?- Yes. 2.50 an hour, I'll make it nice and neat, get lots of light into your room.
1:10:06 > 1:10:08No, that's fine. Thanks. Really, thank you.
1:10:08 > 1:10:11Seriously, seriously. You really want... Take a look at...
1:10:11 > 1:10:13You want to do it yourself?
1:10:54 > 1:10:56Hey, Paul!
1:10:58 > 1:11:02- Where's she gone?! Where is she? - Erm...Aidan, yeah.
1:11:02 > 1:11:04Where's she... You haven't sold her, have you?
1:11:04 > 1:11:06I'm sorry.
1:11:06 > 1:11:09- But that was my drum kit! That was my drum kit.- It's no big deal.
1:11:09 > 1:11:10It is a big deal. It is a big deal.
1:11:10 > 1:11:13- I can get another... - No, no, it is a big deal!
1:11:13 > 1:11:15- Will you let me finish?- But you were supposed to keep it for me!
1:11:15 > 1:11:18- You were supposed to keep it. - I can get another one in.
1:11:18 > 1:11:20- They were my lucky drums! My lucky drums! - Don't raise your voice to me.
1:11:20 > 1:11:23I WILL RAISE MY VOICE! I WILL RAISE MY VOICE!
1:11:23 > 1:11:27HERE! LISTEN! THIS IS MY VOICE RAISED! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
1:11:32 > 1:11:34Aah! Rarrgh!
1:11:44 > 1:11:45Tom?
1:11:46 > 1:11:47Tom?
1:11:49 > 1:11:51You'll never believe what happened today.
1:12:42 > 1:12:44CAT MEOWS
1:13:04 > 1:13:05I bet you're hungry, aren't you?
1:13:07 > 1:13:09I suppose I'd better get something to eat.
1:13:15 > 1:13:17Oh, what am I talking to you for?
1:13:21 > 1:13:23You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?
1:13:45 > 1:13:48HE SOBS
1:14:04 > 1:14:05HE LAUGHS
1:14:09 > 1:14:11'It makes me feel very happy when I drum.
1:14:11 > 1:14:14'I feel free, it's... I feel like I'm in heaven.'
1:14:14 > 1:14:17'Oh, well, I don't really believe in heaven.'
1:14:17 > 1:14:21'Don't believe in heaven? I feel sorry for you.'
1:14:29 > 1:14:31HE SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY
1:14:40 > 1:14:42'It's a mystery tour.
1:14:45 > 1:14:48'D'you like mysteries?'
1:15:13 > 1:15:16'I don't like to think of people on their own.
1:15:17 > 1:15:19'People shouldn't be on their own.'
1:15:59 > 1:16:03# I'd love to be there with you but I'm not
1:16:06 > 1:16:11# Got put away on a thankless job
1:16:12 > 1:16:17# No-one should put their loved ones last, I know
1:16:19 > 1:16:25# But I did and I still do because I can
1:16:27 > 1:16:31# And I-I, I'm coming home
1:16:34 > 1:16:38# And I-I, I'm coming home... #
1:16:43 > 1:16:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd