0:00:02 > 0:00:09This film contains very strong language.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20FOOTSTEPS
0:00:23 > 0:00:25BIRD WINGS FLUTTER
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Good evening.
0:00:42 > 0:00:47I'm from Essex, in case you couldn't tell.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50My given name is Dickie.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55I come from Billericay, and I'm doing...
0:00:55 > 0:00:57DRUM ROLL
0:00:57 > 0:01:00..very well!
0:01:00 > 0:01:04# Had a love affair with Nina in the back of my Cortina
0:01:04 > 0:01:09# A seasoned-up hyena could not have been more obscener
0:01:09 > 0:01:13# She took me to the cleaners and other misdemeanours
0:01:13 > 0:01:18# But I got right up between her Rum and her Ribena
0:01:18 > 0:01:22# You ask Joyce and Vicky
0:01:22 > 0:01:26# If candyfloss is sticky
0:01:27 > 0:01:29# I ain't a blinking thicky
0:01:29 > 0:01:31# I'm Billericay Dickie
0:01:31 > 0:01:35# And I'm doing very well
0:01:36 > 0:01:38# I bought a lot of brandy
0:01:38 > 0:01:41# When I was courting Sandy
0:01:41 > 0:01:43# Took eight to make her randy
0:01:43 > 0:01:45# And all I had was shandy
0:01:45 > 0:01:48# Another thing with Sandy
0:01:48 > 0:01:50# What often came in handy
0:01:50 > 0:01:52# Was passing her a Mandy
0:01:52 > 0:01:55# She didn't half go bandy
0:01:55 > 0:01:59# You ask Joyce and Vicky
0:01:59 > 0:02:04# If I ever took the Mickey
0:02:04 > 0:02:06# I ain't a common thicky
0:02:06 > 0:02:08# I'm Billericay Dickie
0:02:08 > 0:02:13# And I'm doing very well
0:02:13 > 0:02:15# I rendezvous with Janet
0:02:15 > 0:02:18# Quite near the Isle of Thanet
0:02:18 > 0:02:20# She looked more like a gannet
0:02:20 > 0:02:22# She wasn't half a prannet
0:02:22 > 0:02:24# Her mother tried to ban it
0:02:24 > 0:02:27# Her father helped me plan it "Go on, son"
0:02:27 > 0:02:29# And when I captured Janet
0:02:29 > 0:02:32# She bruised her pomegranate
0:02:32 > 0:02:34# You ask Joyce and Vicky
0:02:36 > 0:02:40# If I ever shaped up tricky... #
0:02:42 > 0:02:46Tell him to shut that racket up!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49# And I'm doing very well!
0:02:49 > 0:02:54# You should never hold a candle
0:02:54 > 0:02:57# If you don't know where it's been
0:02:59 > 0:03:03# The jackpot is in the handle
0:03:03 > 0:03:07# On a normal fruit machine
0:03:08 > 0:03:12# So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
0:03:13 > 0:03:16# Who's their favourite brickie
0:03:17 > 0:03:19# I ain't a common thicky
0:03:19 > 0:03:21# I'm Billericay Dickie
0:03:21 > 0:03:26# And I'm doing very well
0:03:26 > 0:03:30# So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
0:03:32 > 0:03:35# About Billericay Dickie
0:03:35 > 0:03:40# I ain't a fucking thicky I'm Billericay Dickie
0:03:40 > 0:03:44# And I'm doing very well. #
0:03:53 > 0:03:55One, two, one...
0:04:01 > 0:04:02HE SCREAMS
0:04:02 > 0:04:04MUFFLED MUSIC
0:04:09 > 0:04:13Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, hold on, hold on.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Your timing's off, mate. - Well, you're out of tune.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18This ain't jazz. Learn to play drums and I'll learn to sing in tune.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- Let's be nice, lads.- How can you tell if a stage is level?
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Cos the drummer dribbles out of both sides of his mouth!
0:04:24 > 0:04:26- Yeah, very bleedin' funny. - Not as funny as this, mate.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27- You're fucking fired! - What?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Oh, not again! - Oh, yes!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- Oh, I'll take the equipment, then. - All right.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Your body odour smells like a fucking orang-utan on heat.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35You smell like your mother's cock and balls.
0:04:35 > 0:04:36Two fucking cymbals, mate.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- Come on, then.- Who wants him out?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40BABY COOS
0:04:47 > 0:04:49I've just given birth. Any chance you could keep the noise down?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Oh!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56It's a boy.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58You are so clever.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03I'll be in the kitchen, all right?
0:05:11 > 0:05:12Now look what you done.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27We're all on our own now, son.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Now listen, you monkeys.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36Stories are what we tell ourselves
0:05:36 > 0:05:39to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.
0:05:39 > 0:05:44So, never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Once upon a time,
0:05:48 > 0:05:52in a mystical land far, far away,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54well, Southend-on-Sea,
0:05:54 > 0:05:56a young prince holidayed.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59His name was Ian Dury.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04He was handsome, healthy, highly intelligent.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07And brilliant at swimming.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09AUDIENCE: Oh!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Look at me. Weren't I a lovely little chap?
0:06:27 > 0:06:32But in the pool, evil lurked.
0:06:36 > 0:06:42Its name was polio. A waterborne contamination.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46A virus, and when it gets into your system, you've had it.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Pay attention, chaps!
0:06:50 > 0:06:52The polio virus, AKA, the crippler.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55It attacks the nervous system here, here and here.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59Makes you bloody nervous cos it can bloody well kill you!
0:06:59 > 0:07:02It inflames the brainstem, fucks with the spinal cord,
0:07:02 > 0:07:05leading to paralysis and muscular wasting.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Lock up your children. No-one is safe!
0:07:09 > 0:07:12A monstrous epidemic.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Daddy!
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Bloody hell. It's the Muppets!
0:08:18 > 0:08:21We are the band.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23You've got to be joking.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30We was going to call ourselves Cripple, Nigger, Yid,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Chink and Dead Fish,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35but we didn't get any bookings.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38Could you direct us to the artistes' dressing rooms?
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Oh, you are so going to miss all of this.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48When we've made our millions and we're playing Hammersmith Odeon...
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Why? Don't they have three inches of piss in the dressing rooms?
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Nah, it's all shagpile carpets and extraordinary acoustics.
0:08:57 > 0:09:02# For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow... #
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Oi. Did you hear the one about the dyslexic pimp
0:09:04 > 0:09:05who set up a warehouse?
0:09:09 > 0:09:10Go on, my son!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12# And so say all of us. #
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Yay!
0:09:14 > 0:09:15Is Dad coming?
0:09:15 > 0:09:18'Hey, what do you call a man with paper trousers?'
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Russell.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23Hope you don't mind me saying so, Russell, but you are being a
0:09:23 > 0:09:24rather miserable old cunt.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26What do you think we should spend our money on?
0:09:26 > 0:09:30I don't know. Birthday presents? Birthday hats? Birthday cards?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35Hey, everyone! Let's give him the bumps!
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Let's give him the bumps!
0:09:40 > 0:09:41Well, I'd just like to say
0:09:41 > 0:09:44that you've been a monumentally atrocious audience tonight,
0:09:44 > 0:09:46apart from the faithful few at the front, it's the worst gig...
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Yes, a big hand for you lot.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51It's the worst gig we've ever played since Sidcup Crematorium.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55But we'd like to finish anyway with a song called Blackmail Man.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57- One! Two! - One, two. One, two, three, four!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Three! Four!
0:10:04 > 0:10:05# I'm an Irish cripple, a Scottish Jew,
0:10:05 > 0:10:08# I'm the blackmail man
0:10:08 > 0:10:09# A raspberry ripple, a buckle my shoe,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11# I'm the blackmail man
0:10:11 > 0:10:13# A silvery spoon, a bubble and squeak
0:10:13 > 0:10:15# I'm the blackmail man
0:10:15 > 0:10:17# Well, I'm the blackmail man and I know what you do, every one of you
0:10:17 > 0:10:19# I'm the blackmail man
0:10:19 > 0:10:20# You make me sick, make me Tom and Dick
0:10:20 > 0:10:22# Blackmail man, blackmail man... #
0:10:25 > 0:10:30I wouldn't have booked 'em if I'd known. What a load of shite.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Can't hold a tune.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Come on, Russell, get it right, you doughnut.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44- You're fucking shit! Get off! - Fuck off!
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Russ! Where are you going? Russell, wait. Wait!
0:10:49 > 0:10:51# Fraser and Nash pony and trap
0:10:51 > 0:10:53# Up your 'arris, in your mince
0:10:53 > 0:10:56# Hamptons don't leave fingerprints I'm the blackmail man. #
0:11:00 > 0:11:01MIC FEEDBACK
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Call that singing? You're shit!
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Fuck off!
0:11:10 > 0:11:13I'm more of an Emerson, Lake and Palmer man myself.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26I thought you were fucking great.
0:11:27 > 0:11:29Really?
0:11:30 > 0:11:34Great as in celebrated,
0:11:34 > 0:11:38illustrious, famous?
0:11:39 > 0:11:45Or great as in large, fat, bloated?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Something you do to a nutmeg, perhaps?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Great as in great!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54And I should know.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56I saw Jimi Hendrix before anyone.
0:11:56 > 0:11:57- Really? - Mm-hmm.
0:11:57 > 0:12:01Tell me. Was Jimi...
0:12:01 > 0:12:02nice?
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Yeah. He was extremely polite.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08So, do you always wear those glasses?
0:12:08 > 0:12:10For your protection, my dear.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18I am very, very good with women.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23I used to live with me mum and her two sisters.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27I like women so much,
0:12:27 > 0:12:29I used to think I was a repressed homosexual.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33But I'm not.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38Fortuitously, I am gorgeous to look at.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44Can I tickle your tonsils, please, miss?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Maybe.- Mmm.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50You have to be extremely polite.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Oi, sling your hook.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Just pay up what was agreed.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I didn't agree to a bunch of spazzers from the mental home.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01You see, that's just not a very spiritual thing to say!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Well, have a look at your drummer!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05What's the problem?
0:13:05 > 0:13:06He can't leave the stage at the interval.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- So?- Well, it don't happen to fuckin' Pink Floyd, does it?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12And as for Long John Silver... Oi, mate, you puttin' it on?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15- You didn't limp like that on stage. - Oh, no. On stage I try to hover.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18Look, I'm sure we can come to some friendly agreement.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Yeah, we can agree you can't sing, you're past it
0:13:20 > 0:13:22and you look like a Potato Jesus.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27- No offence.- None taken, you fat-ankled fucker.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Fat ankles?
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I might be a fucking cripple, mate, but I'm dangerous, all right?
0:13:32 > 0:13:35You want to sort out your inner calm.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Nice one, Davey, go on.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Go on, my son, get in there!
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Russell. Russ, we need to talk about this.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57There you are. There's your millions. Joke money, joke life.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00It's over, mate. We're going nowhere.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- Russ, why do you have to say things like that?- I quit.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Nobody quits. Quitting is not in the vocabulary.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Yeah? What about "Fuck you, Ian"? Is that in the vocabulary?
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- What did you say? - Nothing.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Go on, then. Go on. I don't fucking need you.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20What do you mean? I write the music, I drive the van.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22I carry you up the stairs when you're pissed.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23I make the fucking sandwiches.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Can you drive? Yeah, see, she can drive.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28And I bet she can make fucking sandwiches and all.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31Russell, come on. Look, we're talking, mate. We're trying to talk!
0:14:31 > 0:14:32Russell!
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Right, you're fucking fired. You are, you're fired.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38You didn't quit, you were fired!
0:14:56 > 0:14:57- Yes? Do I know you? - No.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Well, do us a favour and fuck off, will you?
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Hey, Ian, you know that geezer's a keys player.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- That's not very polite, is it? - It's like being back at school.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- Are you a groupie? - No, musician.
0:15:12 > 0:15:13- What do you play? - Oi.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Sorry about that. Where do you think you're going, you little monkey?
0:15:16 > 0:15:18That was out of order back there. It's the drink, you know, so...
0:15:18 > 0:15:22It's like bad breath for the mind. Someone said that you play keyboards.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24- Yeah.- I play a little piano and guitar.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Oh, wow. Well, we don't have any little ones, only the big sort.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- What's your name? - Chaz.
0:15:29 > 0:15:30- Chaz. - Chaz Jankel.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Chaz Jankel? Very avant-garde.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Tell you what. Why don't you come over tomorrow, hey?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37After all, you know what they say.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40"The more interesting a man, the greyer his trousers."
0:15:40 > 0:15:44But they also say, "You're never alone with schizophrenia."
0:15:44 > 0:15:46So what the fuck do they know?
0:15:46 > 0:15:50But it's true, we are all on our own, aren't we?
0:15:50 > 0:15:51- AUDIENCE:- Oh, no, you're not!
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Oh, yes, I am!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh, no, you're not!
0:15:55 > 0:15:56The young prince was.
0:15:56 > 0:16:01He was going to die. Death was his bedfellow.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05Some whispered, "Oh, it might be better after all.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08"I mean, what sort of quality of life?"
0:16:08 > 0:16:12A cripple? A raspberry ripple?
0:16:12 > 0:16:16COCKEREL CROWS
0:16:16 > 0:16:21But in the morning, he was still there!
0:16:21 > 0:16:24You see, it's not the size of the dog in the fight,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27but the size of the fight in the dog!
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Magnificent!
0:16:31 > 0:16:34Trouble is, there's no cure for it.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Just like love.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39There's no cure for that, neither.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53CAR HORN BLARES
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Oi! Oi! Daddy's home!
0:17:07 > 0:17:09Your dad's here.
0:17:13 > 0:17:18And now, then, let's see what the old clot has got.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20For you, Jemima darling...
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Boing!
0:17:24 > 0:17:26And for you, my son...
0:17:26 > 0:17:29For your birthday. Better late than never.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35# Pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, PUM! #
0:17:37 > 0:17:40So powerful no man could stop him.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56Rubbish.
0:17:59 > 0:18:00DOOR CLOSES
0:18:00 > 0:18:02THEY SCREAM
0:18:06 > 0:18:12Don't make me angry. You won't like it when I'm angry!
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Dr Banner, you're changing!
0:18:17 > 0:18:21But with pain comes power! Hulk is strong!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32..He doesn't need you turning up out of the blue bringing gifts.
0:18:32 > 0:18:36- He needs a father! - He's got a father. I'm his father.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38He needs a father who's around!
0:18:38 > 0:18:40I'm around! I mean, well, I come around.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43I was here when he was born, wasn't I? Just downstairs, I mean,
0:18:43 > 0:18:45not a lot of fathers can say that!
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Found a couple that survived. There's only two left.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57He's been missing school. And stealing.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Well, that's all right. All boys do that.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05It's a boy thing, isn't it? A packet of fags, dirty magazine.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07In fact, it's good. A sign of intelligence.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Shows a sensitivity about the world.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11- And he's being bullied. - By who?
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I told him not to retaliate.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15You don't want to do that. He wants to give 'em a bloody good smacking.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Yeah, well, that's why he needs to come and stay with you for a while.
0:19:17 > 0:19:20No, no, no.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22He needs you at the moment.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Look, I'm on the verge of something, things are happening.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I've been offered some work at the Academy.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Good.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39One of us needs to earn and I can't do it stuck out here in the country.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44I've always encouraged you, Ian.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Now it's your turn.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57- Is Dad gone? - Left about an hour ago.
0:20:17 > 0:20:18Looks all right.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Blimey! How many more steps? I'm not Sherpa bloody Tenzing.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28It's Oval Mansions. We get to live in a mansion together.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Catshit Mansions more like.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57All right.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02What colour for the walls? Would you say white?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Nah, that's too institutional.
0:21:05 > 0:21:09- Blue, then? - No, too constitutional.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12It should be...claret. Yeah.
0:21:12 > 0:21:17Yeah, the colour of blood. Passion. And a sort of booze.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- You up for it? - Mm-hmm.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23I...
0:21:23 > 0:21:26I can do anything. If you teach me.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46What's wrong?
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Erm, we're going to have to switch places
0:21:48 > 0:21:51cos I'm struggling to undo your buttons here with my dodgy left hand.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01Or you can do it, that would be very helpful.
0:22:11 > 0:22:12# I come awake
0:22:14 > 0:22:16# With a gift for womankind
0:22:18 > 0:22:20# You're still asleep
0:22:22 > 0:22:24# But the gift don't seem to mind
0:22:26 > 0:22:28# Rise on this occasion... #
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Not too bad. Have you done this before?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32# Halfway up your back
0:22:34 > 0:22:36# Sliding down your body
0:22:38 > 0:22:40# Touching your behind
0:22:41 > 0:22:44# You look so self-possessed... #
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Aw!
0:22:45 > 0:22:49# I won't disturb your rest
0:22:49 > 0:22:53# It's lovely when you're sleeping
0:22:53 > 0:22:56# But wide awake is best
0:22:57 > 0:23:01# Wake up and make love with me
0:23:01 > 0:23:05# Wake up and make love
0:23:05 > 0:23:08# Wake up and make love with me
0:23:08 > 0:23:10# I don't want to make you
0:23:10 > 0:23:12# I'll let the fancy take you
0:23:12 > 0:23:15# And you'll wake up and make love
0:23:24 > 0:23:26# You come awake
0:23:27 > 0:23:30# In a horny morning mood
0:23:32 > 0:23:33# And have a proper wriggle
0:23:35 > 0:23:39# In the naughty naked nude
0:23:39 > 0:23:41# Roll against my body
0:23:43 > 0:23:45# Get me where you want me
0:23:47 > 0:23:49# What happens next is private. #
0:23:56 > 0:23:58What are you doing?
0:24:01 > 0:24:02This is Denise.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Hello, Denise.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06That's Baxter.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Hello, Baxter.
0:24:08 > 0:24:12Your door's unlocked. Mum's putting the kettle on.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14Nice.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17Go on, then, off you pop.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25Thanks so much for this. So kind.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28- Takes quite a lot to make a home. - Yeah.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31"Home is the place, no matter what you've done,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34"they have to let you in." That's what Ian says.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- So you're a bass player? - Bass player,
0:24:37 > 0:24:39sandwich-maker, personal manager.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Sole driver of a van full of nutters.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46We're looking forward to having Baxter stay.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Any time you need help we're here.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50Yeah, um...
0:24:50 > 0:24:53He's a little fussy, he doesn't like tomatoes,
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- fruit of any kind, potatoes... - Like father like son, eh?
0:24:59 > 0:25:02How old are you, Denise?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04Erm, I'm almost 20.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Oh!
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- I'm sorry about that.- It was always heavy for me, too.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16DRUMS PLAY
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- HE SHOUTS:- Is that Elvis Presley?
0:25:32 > 0:25:35Don't they teach you any classical history at school these days?
0:25:37 > 0:25:39That's Gene Vincent.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Scramble-egged his leg in a bike accident.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Him and Eddie Cochran
0:25:47 > 0:25:50were the brightest stars in the firmament
0:25:50 > 0:25:55when they climbed into a cab outside the Savoy, April 16th, 1960.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Two hours later, they hit a hairpin bend.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Crash!
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Eddie Cochran is lying dying in his own blood.
0:26:10 > 0:26:16And who hands Sweet Gene his guitar that night outside the hotel?
0:26:17 > 0:26:19A 14-year-old Marc Bolan,
0:26:19 > 0:26:23who marries Pink Floyd's management secretary,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26who signs me to Stiff Records.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31Shake my hand.
0:26:39 > 0:26:41You're only five steps away from greatness.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45- Stiff? - Stiff, yeah.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49Their motto is "If it ain't Stiff, it ain't worth a fuck!"
0:26:49 > 0:26:50How's school?
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Headmistress is a bit of a stuck-up old cow.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Oi, language. Bit of respect. Education's important.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Delacroix, French, Frenchman he was, painter, he said,
0:27:01 > 0:27:04"Inspiration is getting to our studies at 9am."
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Go on, hit it.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18THEY SCREAM
0:27:27 > 0:27:29You know what I'm talking about,
0:27:29 > 0:27:31you barely said two words to the woman.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33You can't treat people like that.
0:27:33 > 0:27:34Don't give me that load of old bollock. Bet and I have got
0:27:34 > 0:27:36- a special relationship. - Exactly, she's your wife.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Yeah, based on love and trust and understanding.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42What, and taking the piss? You were really fucking rude, Ian.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45It was the past, all right? It's a separate existence.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49Anyway, I asked you to marry me, you keep saying no.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51This isn't a joke. You've got children.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54You are never going to be separate. Do you understand that?
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Excuse me, I'm trying to sleep.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15HE HUMS
0:28:27 > 0:28:30# My old man was fairly handsome
0:28:34 > 0:28:37# Later on he drove a Roller
0:28:37 > 0:28:39# Chauffeuring for foreign men... #
0:28:41 > 0:28:43BELL RINGS
0:28:47 > 0:28:48Daddy!
0:28:50 > 0:28:53# Perhaps he had to keep his distance
0:28:57 > 0:28:59# My old man was fairly handsome. #
0:29:03 > 0:29:05You all right, boy?
0:29:09 > 0:29:11Come on.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13Boxers always touch themselves on the side of the face to remind them
0:29:13 > 0:29:15to keep their guard up.
0:29:15 > 0:29:19That's it. Move your feet, come on. Move your feet, move about.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22That's it. Keep moving about.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24You're too square on. Move around the side.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Good, orthodox, lovely.
0:29:26 > 0:29:28All them southpaws should be buried at birth.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30Where are you going? That's it, stand up. All right.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32Now move about, on the balls of your feet if you can.
0:29:32 > 0:29:36That's it. Plenty of that. Plenty of leg movement.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39When you're ready, I want you to take a swing at me.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41All right? Give me your best shot. Come on.
0:29:44 > 0:29:46'All the best, mate, from your son.'
0:29:46 > 0:29:51THEY CHANT: Turtle! Turtle! Turtle! Turtle!
0:29:51 > 0:29:53WHISTLE BLOWS
0:29:53 > 0:29:54What's all this?
0:30:00 > 0:30:03You have to get up on your own.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05That's the rule here, isn't it, children?
0:30:05 > 0:30:06CHILDREN: Yes, Mr Hargreaves.
0:30:06 > 0:30:11I'm not staying here. My daddy's coming to take me away.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Oh, your daddy, eh? Good for you.
0:30:19 > 0:30:21'Shape up. You got to be brave, all right?
0:30:21 > 0:30:23'No-one's taking liberties with you, boy.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25'Give me your best shot, come on.'
0:30:29 > 0:30:30All right?
0:30:33 > 0:30:35No, you gotta stand on your own.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41All right.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45All right. Well done, son. You did good.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47But no-one out there is going to help you.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Now that's seems harsh, I know,
0:30:49 > 0:30:52but you're born on your own, you die on your own.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56And in between, you earn your own respect.
0:30:56 > 0:30:57Never give up, never.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01And never step into a dead man's shoes. You know what that means?
0:31:04 > 0:31:07It means you gotta do it for yourself.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11Being the underdog with nothing to lose is the best place to start.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14I'm doing pretty good at the moment, you know. Yeah?
0:31:14 > 0:31:18I got one or two proper deals on the go. Money owed.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21I got a nice penthouse in Old Victoria, I'm happy with me digs.
0:31:24 > 0:31:29You should come and see me. Would you like that?
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Would you? Yeah, I'd like that.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43# My old man... #
0:31:44 > 0:31:47PHONE RINGS
0:31:54 > 0:31:57PHONE CONTINUES TO RING
0:32:07 > 0:32:09Dad? Dad?
0:32:11 > 0:32:14- What time is it? - Lunchtime.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25- Is that your mum? - It's the school on the phone.
0:32:25 > 0:32:27It's the headmistress.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32'Hello? Hello?'
0:32:32 > 0:32:33Hello?
0:32:33 > 0:32:35'This is Baxter's headmistress. Is that Mr Dury?'
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Yes. Mr Dury speaking. Yes.
0:32:37 > 0:32:40- 'Are you aware that Baxter had school today?'- Mm-hm.- 'Do you understand?'
0:32:40 > 0:32:42Yeah. No, no, I do understand, yes. Yeah, of course.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45'I'm sure I don't need to tell you how important it is...'
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Yeah, no, I do understand, yes. Yes. Okey-dokey, yes.
0:32:48 > 0:32:50'Well, it's all very well saying you understand,
0:32:50 > 0:32:52- 'but this is your son's future we're talking about.'- Mm-hm.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55- 'Your wife told me about...' - Mm-hm. Well...
0:32:55 > 0:32:56- 'And I want you to know that I'm not...'- You know what?
0:32:56 > 0:32:59He was right. You are a bit of a stuck-up old cow.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02- 'I beg your pardon? How dare you!' - Tiddley poo, madam.
0:33:04 > 0:33:07Snotty old maggot, she is.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09Get the kettle on, will you?
0:33:18 > 0:33:19Ta.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26- Where's Denise? - She's gone out.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32You're going to have to help me put me leg on, then.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36Right, if you could... Come here.
0:33:36 > 0:33:41Let me swing round, I'll put my arm round you. After three. One,
0:33:41 > 0:33:44two, three.
0:33:44 > 0:33:46That's it.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49See me new leg? Look at that.
0:33:49 > 0:33:50Phwoar.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53Been waiting for that for ages. Beautiful.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56You do that one, I'll do this one.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57Get this underneath.
0:33:57 > 0:34:00I'm still getting used to it myself, actually.
0:34:00 > 0:34:04See what your old man has to go through every day? What a palaver.
0:34:06 > 0:34:10"Dear Jemima, I've been working with a man called Chaz.
0:34:10 > 0:34:14"If we do well, we will have disgusting ice cream.
0:34:14 > 0:34:16"If we don't, we will cry.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19"Boo-hoo! I can't wait for you to meet Denise.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25"You should come up and visit sometime.
0:34:25 > 0:34:28"Baxter's turning into a right little geezer.
0:34:28 > 0:34:31"Always keep a strong heart in case of sadness.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33"Love, your charming father,
0:34:33 > 0:34:36"Dad, Nebbish, Clot."
0:34:36 > 0:34:37- RADIO:- 'I'm going to disagree with Nigel.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40'The real shock here is the whole Sex Pistols
0:34:40 > 0:34:42'swearing on television, Bill Grundy being sacked,
0:34:42 > 0:34:45'it all turning into some sort of moral panic.
0:34:45 > 0:34:46'I mean, these boys are the future.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49'They're the voice of a young generation.'
0:34:49 > 0:34:51Fucking Sex Pistols. Bollocks.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54And he nicked my razorblade-earring idea and all, didn't he?
0:34:54 > 0:34:56Turn it off, Den, will you?
0:34:56 > 0:34:58'I'm sorry, Nigel, I'm sorry.'
0:35:01 > 0:35:05If you get bitter, you have a strong heart. Remember?
0:35:05 > 0:35:07Never let it be said that my failure went to me head.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12"Swearing on the television
0:35:12 > 0:35:16"is not funny and not fucking clever!"
0:35:16 > 0:35:18Language.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20First words my sister ever said were, "Fuck off, Dad."
0:35:20 > 0:35:21Must be inherited.
0:35:21 > 0:35:23Does she sack drummers, too?
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Incredible Hulk doesn't swear, does he?
0:35:25 > 0:35:27- He's got a moral compass. - That's right.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29Moral compass? I'm an entertainer, not Christopher bleeding Columbus.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31Oi, what do you think of that?
0:35:31 > 0:35:33Nah, that's too, uh, too romantic. Here you go.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Is that all?
0:35:35 > 0:35:37- It's been a slow week. - Ian?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Uh, too satanic.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41Oi, oi, what's wrong with that one?
0:35:41 > 0:35:44- You're always giving me that one. - Yeah, and?
0:35:44 > 0:35:46We know all about that, Ian.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48Oh, no, no, Chaz, Chaz, Chaz. That,
0:35:48 > 0:35:51that is a riddle. It's a love song. It's a questioning.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53It's a striving of the human soul.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56It's just... It's called Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll.
0:35:56 > 0:35:57That's good.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59- Mmmm, it's too obvious. - Tell him, Denny.
0:35:59 > 0:36:01Look, it's a celebration. It's...
0:36:01 > 0:36:04It's an anthem for all the outsiders, for all the uglies,
0:36:04 > 0:36:05for all the freaks, you know,
0:36:05 > 0:36:09who are slaving away every day in their shit shirts
0:36:09 > 0:36:13and their shit shoes, trying to fit in.
0:36:13 > 0:36:15"Is that all there is to life?" they ask.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18And then, lo and behold...
0:36:18 > 0:36:22HE HUMS
0:36:22 > 0:36:26- Can you dance to that, Denny? - Yeah, if you dance with me.
0:36:26 > 0:36:27You nicked that.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30God, everyone's a critic these days, aren't they?
0:36:30 > 0:36:33The immature artist plagiarises and the mature artist steals.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35And I am about to grow up.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll.
0:36:45 > 0:36:46OK, how about...
0:36:48 > 0:36:51See? Blue's your colour, you know that?
0:36:51 > 0:36:52That's it. That's it.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57# Grey is such a pity... #
0:36:58 > 0:37:00Yeah! Look at you all! Look, look.
0:37:00 > 0:37:03- You're magnificent! - You are going to be
0:37:03 > 0:37:05- just like your dad. - No, no.
0:37:05 > 0:37:06- A proper little geezer. - No.
0:37:06 > 0:37:08- Baxter, come on. - Don't.
0:37:08 > 0:37:09Baxter, stop fidgeting.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11- Bax... - Stop it.
0:37:11 > 0:37:12- Don't be such a baby. - Get off.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Who did that?
0:37:18 > 0:37:19Boys.
0:37:20 > 0:37:21Bigger boys.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25They said I was posh.
0:37:26 > 0:37:27Are we posh?
0:37:29 > 0:37:31No, we're arts and crafts.
0:37:32 > 0:37:34That's what we are. We're arts and crafts.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42There. That's handsome, isn't it?
0:37:47 > 0:37:52LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Baxter!
0:38:06 > 0:38:08There he is, here's my son.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10These are all my friends. Say hi to Baxter, everybody.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12Big round of applause for my son.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14Baxter Front, I like to call him.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20Listen, we haven't tried this one before.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22It's a little experimentation. Oi, Chaz, let's start this up.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25We'll go for the rock. We'll have White Face, Black Shirt, White Socks.
0:38:25 > 0:38:26One, two, three, four.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28# Who, who, who slapped John?
0:38:32 > 0:38:34# White face, black shirt White socks, black shoes
0:38:34 > 0:38:37# Black hair, white Strat, bled white, died black
0:38:37 > 0:38:40# Sweet Gene Vincent
0:38:40 > 0:38:43# There's one in every town
0:38:43 > 0:38:44# And the devil drives
0:38:44 > 0:38:46# Till the hearse arrives
0:38:46 > 0:38:47# And you lay that pistol down... #
0:38:47 > 0:38:49Just keep singing that last verse.
0:38:49 > 0:38:51# Sweet Gene Vincent
0:38:51 > 0:38:54# There's one in every town
0:38:54 > 0:38:56# And the devil drives till the hearse... #
0:38:56 > 0:38:58Keep singing!
0:39:00 > 0:39:02# Sweet Gene Vincent... #
0:39:11 > 0:39:12I hope you don't mind me saying,
0:39:12 > 0:39:14but you are being a bit of a right old moody.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17- We said we'd look after him, Ian. - Yeah, I know. He's my son.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20- I've got him a driver and everything.- What, someone reliable?
0:39:20 > 0:39:23- Yeah, yeah, of course. - Really?- I mean, the man was
0:39:23 > 0:39:25a roadie with Led Zeppelin, for fuck's sake.
0:39:25 > 0:39:27All right, Baxter?
0:39:27 > 0:39:30I've got a little surprise for you.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33Oh, speak of the devil, and he will appear.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36Can you feel him slouching ever nearer?
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Ooh, has Santa Claus come early this year? No...
0:39:39 > 0:39:43No, it's the Sulphate Strangler!
0:39:54 > 0:39:58# The sons of the prophet were brave men and bold
0:39:58 > 0:40:01# And quite unaccustomed to fear
0:40:01 > 0:40:04# But the bravest by far in the ranks of the Shah
0:40:04 > 0:40:06# Was Abdul Abulbul Amir
0:40:06 > 0:40:09# One day, this bold Russian
0:40:09 > 0:40:11# He shouldered his gun
0:40:11 > 0:40:14# And donned his most truculent sneer
0:40:14 > 0:40:18# Downtown he did go where he trod on the toe
0:40:18 > 0:40:21# Of Abdul Abulbul Amir. #
0:40:24 > 0:40:26- Watch it! - Oh, shit! Oh, sorry.
0:40:30 > 0:40:31Lovely.
0:41:32 > 0:41:33You all right, Dad?
0:41:53 > 0:41:56'I'm doing pretty good at the moment, you know.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59'You should come and see me.
0:41:59 > 0:42:00'Would you like that?'
0:43:08 > 0:43:09ENGINE REVS
0:43:12 > 0:43:14# The sons of the prophet were brave men and bold
0:43:14 > 0:43:16# And quite unaccustomed to fear... #
0:43:16 > 0:43:18BELL RINGS
0:43:20 > 0:43:23Your mum told your dad to tell me to make sure you went in.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26- Now, go on. - I look like a prick.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48Well, that went well, then.
0:43:48 > 0:43:49Come on.
0:43:57 > 0:43:58- Did you? - Don't shout at me!
0:43:58 > 0:44:00I'm not shouting. Who's shouting?
0:44:01 > 0:44:03Did you or did you not try and sell my typewriter?
0:44:03 > 0:44:05How would you know? Cos it says in here,
0:44:05 > 0:44:08"For sale, Ian Dury's fucking typewriter"!
0:44:08 > 0:44:09All right, I did it.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11- I admit it, all right? - Hello?
0:44:12 > 0:44:14Ian, we need to work.
0:44:14 > 0:44:16But you know what, Ian? No-one fucking wanted it.
0:44:16 > 0:44:19I am not your fucking pet, all right?
0:44:19 > 0:44:21- That's what it's about, is it? - I'm as hungry for this as you are.
0:44:21 > 0:44:25Oh, boo. The green-eyed monster's coming out, is it?
0:44:25 > 0:44:27The world doesn't revolve around you!
0:44:27 > 0:44:30Oh, I think you'll find it fucking does.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32How was school?
0:44:32 > 0:44:34OK.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37- Fuck you! - Feeling left out, are you?
0:44:37 > 0:44:40- Double fuck you. - Oh, fucking hell, that hurt.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Write some lines! I will show more respect!
0:44:43 > 0:44:46And I'm doing all this fucking work, all this work
0:44:46 > 0:44:49for the family, right? You and me. You and me, it's for us.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Oh, God.
0:44:54 > 0:44:56Bloody hell, you fight like a bloke, Denny.
0:45:00 > 0:45:02Oh, great. Broke me new leg.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Can you help me take it off, please?
0:45:06 > 0:45:08Ian? Hello?
0:45:10 > 0:45:12Everything you do is for the family, is it, Ian?
0:45:12 > 0:45:15- Yeah, yeah. - Right, that's fucking bollocks.
0:45:15 > 0:45:18Everything you do is for you, on your terms.
0:45:18 > 0:45:20And if the rest of us happen to fit along,
0:45:20 > 0:45:22then that is a fucking bonus.
0:45:22 > 0:45:23Is that what you think, is it?
0:45:23 > 0:45:26- Yeah, that's what I think. - Yeah? Is that what you really think?
0:45:27 > 0:45:29Cos if that's right,
0:45:29 > 0:45:31well, you better fuck off, then, because do you know what?
0:45:31 > 0:45:32I can't handle this. I can't handle this.
0:45:32 > 0:45:36I'm on a flow at the moment, right? I'm right in it. I'm right inside it.
0:45:36 > 0:45:37And you're getting right inside my brain,
0:45:37 > 0:45:39when I'm on one, and I won't have it, all right?
0:45:39 > 0:45:41So if you can't handle it, then fuck off.
0:45:43 > 0:45:45You think you can do without me, do you, Ian?
0:45:45 > 0:45:47- Yeah. - Really?
0:45:50 > 0:45:52Walk away.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55Can I have me leg back?
0:45:55 > 0:45:57Oi, don't leave me on the floor. I'm a raspberry.
0:46:03 > 0:46:04Nice throw.
0:46:07 > 0:46:09Just...
0:46:09 > 0:46:11Got it!
0:46:13 > 0:46:14Fuck! Fuck!
0:46:16 > 0:46:18We can rebuild him.
0:46:18 > 0:46:19Woo-hoo-hoo!
0:46:24 > 0:46:26He just needs a bit of distance.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28I'm either too close or not far enough away.
0:46:30 > 0:46:31Denise, what...
0:46:33 > 0:46:36What happened to him, happened a long time ago.
0:46:36 > 0:46:38There's nothing we can do about it now.
0:46:40 > 0:46:42Everyone has their weakness.
0:46:43 > 0:46:47It's just that his weakness is so obvious,
0:46:47 > 0:46:49he doesn't need to worry about it.
0:46:50 > 0:46:52But what about me?
0:46:53 > 0:46:55What am I supposed to do?
0:46:55 > 0:46:57My weakness is loving him.
0:47:08 > 0:47:09Dad's home.
0:47:13 > 0:47:15I'm knocking 40.
0:47:16 > 0:47:19I'm a bit of a shorty.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22Little bit haughty, a bit nutty, a bit naughty...
0:47:22 > 0:47:24Enough with the rhyming couplets.
0:47:24 > 0:47:26Look, I will pay front money for the room,
0:47:26 > 0:47:30proper wedge. You can be the stern landlady,
0:47:30 > 0:47:32with the surgical stockings and the twinkle in her eye...
0:47:32 > 0:47:36- This is serious.- I will be generally a domestic god for the duration.
0:47:36 > 0:47:38I promise. Please.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Oh, come on, Bet, just this once.
0:47:40 > 0:47:42I've got work.
0:47:47 > 0:47:48All right?
0:47:52 > 0:47:56Faster. Cured.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58Healthy.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00WHISTLE BLARES
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Up, up, up!
0:48:03 > 0:48:06Sliders out first, then walkers. Legs and hands on!
0:48:06 > 0:48:10Come on! Come on, let's be having you.
0:48:10 > 0:48:11Oi, get a move on.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16Up, up, up!
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Oi, Dury, get on with it.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32Oh! Oh!
0:48:32 > 0:48:34Shitter!
0:48:34 > 0:48:37- THEY CHANT:- Shitter, shitter, shitter!
0:48:37 > 0:48:40- Faster. Cured. - Shitter, shitter.
0:48:40 > 0:48:42Shitter, shitter.
0:48:42 > 0:48:44- Faster. - Shitter, shitter.
0:48:44 > 0:48:46- Cured. - Shitter, shitter.
0:48:46 > 0:48:48- Shitter, shitter. - All right, all right!
0:48:48 > 0:48:49Get a move on!
0:48:54 > 0:48:56Where's your daddy now?
0:49:03 > 0:49:07Healthier. Improving.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09Greenness, cured.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12Frustration. Stagger.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14Stun!
0:49:15 > 0:49:18Knock one down
0:49:18 > 0:49:21with a feather, clever...
0:49:21 > 0:49:23Clever Trevor.
0:49:23 > 0:49:25See, the English language
0:49:25 > 0:49:30is a gloriously sophisticated smorgasbord of words and phrases.
0:49:30 > 0:49:32Songwriting's really not that complicated.
0:49:32 > 0:49:36It's all about the verbals. I'll go first.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Cock.
0:49:38 > 0:49:39Your turn.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41- Willy. - Dick.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43- Knob. - Love truncheon.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46- Dong. - Meat and two veg.
0:49:46 > 0:49:48Um...
0:49:48 > 0:49:50Come on, keep them coming.
0:49:50 > 0:49:52- Rhythm stick. - Chopper.
0:49:52 > 0:49:55- Old man. - Pork sword.
0:49:55 > 0:49:56One-eyed trouser snake.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58Ah!
0:49:58 > 0:50:00Look at you all, look. Bloody marvellous.
0:50:00 > 0:50:04I love being in the warm bosoms of my family.
0:50:04 > 0:50:06You know why?
0:50:06 > 0:50:08Because...
0:50:08 > 0:50:09I love warm bosoms.
0:50:09 > 0:50:11Dad...
0:50:11 > 0:50:13Come on, dinner's on the table.
0:51:20 > 0:51:24Come on, then. Touch me again and I'll punch your head in.
0:51:24 > 0:51:26Kick your head in. Kick your head in!
0:51:26 > 0:51:29Touch me again and I'll kick your fucking teeth
0:51:29 > 0:51:31so far down your Gregory Peck,
0:51:31 > 0:51:32you'll be able to eat out of your Khyber Pass!
0:51:32 > 0:51:34- Fuck me, look who it is. - Fuck off!
0:51:34 > 0:51:36Dreary Dury, the Dancing Durex.
0:51:36 > 0:51:39- Don't get snotty on me, posh boy. - Leave me alone.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41Yeah, walk away! Fuck off!
0:51:41 > 0:51:42Going to get your Spazzy Joe dad to come and save you?
0:51:42 > 0:51:44Cos guess what? We don't give a shit who he is.
0:51:44 > 0:51:46- Fucking spaz. - What's his name again?
0:51:46 > 0:51:48- Captain Cripple the Raspberry Ripple!- Fuck off.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50Who the fuck do you think you are?
0:51:50 > 0:51:52You learnt some words, have you? Proper little villain.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59All right, Bax?
0:51:59 > 0:52:01All right, Strang?
0:52:01 > 0:52:03You know you've got blood coming out of your nose?
0:52:11 > 0:52:14"Who awoke the sleeping tiger?
0:52:15 > 0:52:17"It was thee.
0:52:18 > 0:52:22"The dormant devil did no harm...
0:52:24 > 0:52:26"..except to me.
0:52:28 > 0:52:33"The writer sat, scratching his arse...
0:52:34 > 0:52:37.."wishing he wasn't middle class..."
0:52:54 > 0:52:56I've met someone else.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59What, around here? You want to be careful.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03He's Welsh.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06- He does ceramics. - Oh, pottery sheep?
0:53:08 > 0:53:10We should think about getting a divorce.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12No.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14No.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17It would be better for you, better for the kids, better for Denise.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19That's far too logical.
0:53:21 > 0:53:26No, Bet, that would be just like tossing everything away.
0:53:26 > 0:53:28- Don't do this, Ian. - I love you.
0:53:28 > 0:53:30I know you love me.
0:53:32 > 0:53:34But you don't need me.
0:53:39 > 0:53:41There's someone else who needs me.
0:54:01 > 0:54:03HE KNOCKS
0:54:07 > 0:54:09Hello.
0:54:09 > 0:54:11Welcome home.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14- I missed you. - Oh, I missed you, too.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34You have painted.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36Mm-hm. Freshen it up.
0:54:37 > 0:54:39I thought it was looking a bit jaded.
0:54:45 > 0:54:48- You don't like it, do you? - I didn't say that.
0:54:50 > 0:54:51But you don't.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00It's all very...
0:55:02 > 0:55:04..white.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10CROWD CHEERS
0:55:22 > 0:55:24Knock, knock.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30Who's there?
0:55:35 > 0:55:36We got some great tunes.
0:55:36 > 0:55:40Now all we need is a band with a drummer I can't sack. Hit me!
0:55:40 > 0:55:41- One.- Two! - Three.- Four!
0:55:47 > 0:55:50# You must have seen parties of Blockheads
0:55:50 > 0:55:52# With blotched and lagered skin
0:55:53 > 0:55:55# Blockheads with food particles in their teeth
0:55:55 > 0:55:58# What a horrible state they're in
0:55:58 > 0:56:01# They've got womanly breasts under pale mauve vests
0:56:01 > 0:56:04# Shoes like dead pigs' noses
0:56:04 > 0:56:07# Cornflake packet jacket Catalogue trousers
0:56:07 > 0:56:10# A mouth what never closes
0:56:10 > 0:56:13# You must have seen Blockheads in raucous teams
0:56:13 > 0:56:16# Dressed up after work
0:56:16 > 0:56:19# Who screw their poor old Eileens
0:56:19 > 0:56:21# Get sloshed and go berserk
0:56:22 > 0:56:25# Rotary access watches
0:56:25 > 0:56:28# Hire-purchase signet rings
0:56:28 > 0:56:31# A beauty to the bully boys
0:56:31 > 0:56:33# No lonely vestige clings
0:56:33 > 0:56:35# Blockheads Oi!
0:56:35 > 0:56:36# Blockheads Oi!
0:56:36 > 0:56:38# Blockheads
0:56:38 > 0:56:39# Blockheads
0:56:39 > 0:56:40# Blockheads
0:56:40 > 0:56:42# Blockheads
0:56:42 > 0:56:44# Blockheads
0:56:44 > 0:56:45# Blockheads
0:56:45 > 0:56:46# Blockheads
0:56:46 > 0:56:48# Blockheads
0:56:48 > 0:56:49# Blockheads
0:56:49 > 0:56:51# Blockheads
0:56:51 > 0:56:52# Blockheads Oi! Oi!
0:56:52 > 0:56:54# Blockheads
0:57:09 > 0:57:15# Blockhead, Blockhead, Blockhead, Blockhead, Blockhead! #
0:57:15 > 0:57:18CROWD CHANTS: Ian! Ian! Ian!
0:57:18 > 0:57:19BLOWS WHISTLE
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Oh, this is it. Just on the right. Pull in here.
0:57:35 > 0:57:38Oh, my life! God, it hasn't changed one little iota.
0:57:54 > 0:57:56Right, then, Chris.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59- Let's get this done before we attract too much attention.- OK, Ian.
0:58:04 > 0:58:06- Nice.- Oi! What are you doing?
0:58:06 > 0:58:09- I'm bored. - Only boring people get bored.
0:58:09 > 0:58:10Go on, off you go.
0:58:13 > 0:58:15Baxter, I'm not going to tell you again.
0:58:17 > 0:58:18Couple of more poses.
0:58:22 > 0:58:23Come on, Baxter, I'm working.
0:58:25 > 0:58:27Hold it. Hold it there.
0:58:29 > 0:58:30Got it.
0:58:31 > 0:58:33Go on, off you go, son.
0:58:36 > 0:58:38Ladies and gentlemen,
0:58:38 > 0:58:40please welcome the jewel in the English crown,
0:58:40 > 0:58:42Mr Ian Dury!
0:58:48 > 0:58:50One, two, three, four!
0:58:50 > 0:58:52# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
0:58:54 > 0:58:56# Are all my brain and body need
0:58:58 > 0:59:00# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
0:59:05 > 0:59:07# Is very good indeed
0:59:07 > 0:59:11# Every bit of clothing ought to make you pretty
0:59:11 > 0:59:15# You can cut the clothing Grey is such a pity
0:59:15 > 0:59:19# I should wear the clothing of Mr Walter Mitty
0:59:19 > 0:59:24# See my tailor, he's called Simon I know it's going to fit
0:59:27 > 0:59:30# Here's a little bit of advice
0:59:30 > 0:59:32# You're quite welcome, it is free
0:59:32 > 0:59:34# Don't do nothing that is cut price
0:59:34 > 0:59:36# You know what it'll make you be
0:59:36 > 0:59:38# They will try their tricky device
0:59:38 > 0:59:40# Trap you with the ordinary
0:59:40 > 0:59:43# Get your teeth into a small slice
0:59:43 > 0:59:45# The cake of liberty!
1:00:01 > 1:00:05# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
1:00:05 > 1:00:09# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
1:00:09 > 1:00:14AUDIENCE: # Sex and drugs and rock and roll
1:00:14 > 1:00:18# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
1:00:18 > 1:00:22# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
1:00:22 > 1:00:26# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
1:00:26 > 1:00:30# Sex and drugs and rock and roll
1:00:30 > 1:00:36# Sex and drugs and rock and roll. #
1:01:03 > 1:01:06AUDIENCE CHANTS: Ian! Ian! Ian! Ian!
1:01:10 > 1:01:12- Ian!- Ian!
1:01:16 > 1:01:22See, people imagine people like me want all of that,
1:01:22 > 1:01:26to be popular and famous, but I don't.
1:01:26 > 1:01:30I prefer being a lurker, cos I like being naughty.
1:01:30 > 1:01:32Paul McCartney says when he gets recognised,
1:01:32 > 1:01:34he just walks brusquely away.
1:01:34 > 1:01:39Well, if I walk brusquely away, I fall over and down I go a-tumble.
1:01:39 > 1:01:40Did I say you could laugh?
1:01:40 > 1:01:44- Touch me, Ian! Touch me! - I ain't the fucking Pope, am I?
1:01:44 > 1:01:46Now you can laugh.
1:01:48 > 1:01:50- Ian!- Ian!
1:02:00 > 1:02:04So, how's the new gaff? Is it keeping all you guys productive?
1:02:04 > 1:02:08Well, you've got to pace your life, lie fallow for stages,
1:02:08 > 1:02:10so that's what I'm doing.
1:02:10 > 1:02:13Biding me time till I'm ready to pounce.
1:02:14 > 1:02:19Bax? Bax? Don't you want to swim?
1:02:19 > 1:02:20- You sure? - Yeah.
1:02:22 > 1:02:26You yourself, have you lost that common touch people said you had?
1:02:26 > 1:02:28Oh, well, that all depends on where I'm touching them, doesn't it?
1:02:28 > 1:02:32Well, is it possible to maintain a uniqueness, do you think?
1:02:32 > 1:02:34Well, we're all unique, aren't we? Eh?
1:02:34 > 1:02:39Yeah, but if you wish to package that uniqueness,
1:02:39 > 1:02:41well, then you take risks.
1:02:41 > 1:02:43Don't we, Denise? Eh?
1:02:43 > 1:02:46Even with things in love?
1:02:46 > 1:02:48Love. Mmm.
1:02:48 > 1:02:51Well, there are people in this world who act purely out of love.
1:02:51 > 1:02:56Whereas, me, I'm a wanker being interviewed by a cunt and I love it.
1:02:56 > 1:02:58Am I making a bit of a kipper of meself, Denny?
1:02:58 > 1:03:03I think this little squirt wants to know... (how we're getting on).
1:03:03 > 1:03:04Well, I'd like to be at home.
1:03:04 > 1:03:06Oh, would you? Well, this is home.
1:03:06 > 1:03:09No, this is rented for a small fortune, actually.
1:03:09 > 1:03:10Oh, well, you know, we've gotta be here
1:03:10 > 1:03:12cos we've got to work, haven't we?
1:03:12 > 1:03:15It's industrial relations now. No time for real relations.
1:03:15 > 1:03:17Yeah, I'd noticed.
1:03:28 > 1:03:29All right, goose?
1:03:33 > 1:03:36Amphetamines. Speed, Billy Whizz,
1:03:36 > 1:03:39Black Beauties, sulphate. Righteous stuff.
1:03:39 > 1:03:41Originally a nasal decongestant.
1:03:41 > 1:03:44Used during the war. It keeps you awake.
1:03:44 > 1:03:48Basically, speed won the Battle of Britain.
1:03:48 > 1:03:50They were flying very high, those boys. Literally.
1:03:53 > 1:03:56- That's a lot. - Don't want to withdraw. Here you go.
1:04:02 > 1:04:04Go on, son. Give it here.
1:04:09 > 1:04:11- FILM:- Your lives are to be spared.
1:04:11 > 1:04:15The terrible penalty of crucifixion has been set aside...
1:04:15 > 1:04:18- What's this? - ..on the single condition
1:04:18 > 1:04:22that you identify the body or the living person
1:04:22 > 1:04:24of the slave called Spartacus.
1:04:26 > 1:04:28- I'm Spartacus! - I'm Spartacus!
1:04:28 > 1:04:30Ow!
1:04:30 > 1:04:32- You spilled me nuts. - Oh, sorry.
1:04:32 > 1:04:34They're gone now.
1:04:34 > 1:04:36I'm Spartacus!
1:04:36 > 1:04:38- We should work. - Sshh.
1:04:38 > 1:04:40- Kirk Douglas is just about to get crucified.- Yeah, I know,
1:04:40 > 1:04:42but I've just written a brilliant riff, right?
1:04:42 > 1:04:45- I promise you, it's a brilliant.. - Just relax, will you? You doughnut.
1:04:45 > 1:04:48Ian, listen, it's fantastic. We should go and work on it.
1:04:48 > 1:04:49What are you? Some kind of mad nutty professor?
1:04:49 > 1:04:51Will you shut up? I'm trying to watch the movie.
1:04:57 > 1:05:00- Chaz, you're standing in my way. - I've got to get the guitar.
1:05:00 > 1:05:02Will you get me some more nuts?
1:05:02 > 1:05:04Actually, can you get me some olives, as well? Stoned.
1:05:04 > 1:05:07EVERYONE GROANS
1:05:11 > 1:05:12Take a month.
1:05:17 > 1:05:19Come on, Baxter, what's wrong with you?
1:05:19 > 1:05:22- Scared of a bit of water? - Leave him alone, Ian.
1:05:22 > 1:05:24- Just jump in, it's the only way. - No, I don't want to.
1:05:24 > 1:05:27- Look, he doesn't want to, Ian. - Go on, I dare you.
1:05:27 > 1:05:28- It's bloody freezing. - Go on.
1:05:28 > 1:05:30- Let him off. Go on, Bax. - No, no.
1:05:30 > 1:05:3470% of the world is covered in water. It's a very dangerous place.
1:05:34 > 1:05:37- Go on, Bax. Go on. - Where are you going?
1:05:37 > 1:05:40- Oi!- Why don't YOU jump in?
1:05:40 > 1:05:43Actually, I was a brilliant swimmer.
1:05:43 > 1:05:46Don't you think how lucky we are?
1:05:46 > 1:05:48Very big house and a pool
1:05:48 > 1:05:51and a record at number one in the hit parade.
1:05:51 > 1:05:53- Don't that make you happy? - You need sleep, Ian.
1:05:53 > 1:05:57Yeah, plenty of time for sleeping when you're dead.
1:06:03 > 1:06:06The last chicken in the shop,
1:06:06 > 1:06:09the juicy golden goosey...
1:06:11 > 1:06:12..and I am cooked.
1:06:40 > 1:06:44# In the deserts of Sudan
1:06:44 > 1:06:49# And the gardens of Japan
1:06:49 > 1:06:53# From Milan to Yucatan
1:06:53 > 1:06:58# Every womans' every man
1:06:58 > 1:07:00# Hit me with your rhythm stick
1:07:00 > 1:07:02# Hit me Hit me
1:07:02 > 1:07:04# It's good, c'est fantastique
1:07:04 > 1:07:06# Hit me, hit me, hit me!
1:07:06 > 1:07:08# Hit me with your rhythm stick
1:07:08 > 1:07:11# It's nice to be a lunatic
1:07:11 > 1:07:13# Hit me! Hit me!
1:07:13 > 1:07:15# Hit me!
1:07:20 > 1:07:22# Hit me. #
1:07:24 > 1:07:26Turn your fucking mic down! I can't hear myself think.
1:07:26 > 1:07:28- # Hit me! # - Stop fucking me around!
1:07:28 > 1:07:30Oh, come on, man.
1:07:30 > 1:07:32I already told you once.
1:07:35 > 1:07:38INCOHERENT SHOUTING
1:07:47 > 1:07:48Forget it!
1:07:51 > 1:07:52# Jingle bells
1:07:52 > 1:07:54# Rudolph smells
1:07:54 > 1:07:57# Santa shagged an elf
1:07:57 > 1:08:00# Tiny Tim plays with his crutch and thinks it is himself. #
1:08:07 > 1:08:09Happy Christmas!
1:08:09 > 1:08:12I'm...the husband.
1:08:16 > 1:08:18So, where'd you get your black eye from?
1:08:18 > 1:08:22Well, it's funny you should say that, actually, because, erm...
1:08:22 > 1:08:25- Sorry, what's your name again? - Clive.
1:08:25 > 1:08:30Anyway, so we were at this posh restaurant... Where were we, Strang?
1:08:30 > 1:08:32- Oh, Caprice. - Caprice.
1:08:32 > 1:08:36Fucking I look over, right? And I say,
1:08:36 > 1:08:39"Look, it's Omar fucking Sharif. It is!"
1:08:39 > 1:08:43So I go all the way over. And I go over and I says to him,
1:08:43 > 1:08:45"Your first film was great and the rest were shit."
1:08:45 > 1:08:48And he said, "I don't give a fuck what you think."
1:08:48 > 1:08:52And I said, "Oh, you're a cunt." And he said, "Fucking come on, then"
1:08:52 > 1:08:54and then he fucking smacked me right in the face.
1:08:54 > 1:08:56I mean, talk about overreacting.
1:08:56 > 1:08:59Fucking nice fighter.
1:08:59 > 1:09:02That's the most expensive fist you'll ever have in your mouth.
1:09:02 > 1:09:04Do you want stuffing with that?
1:09:04 > 1:09:05Ooh.
1:09:22 > 1:09:25Not too much for me, darling.
1:09:25 > 1:09:27That's too much. Thanks.
1:09:43 > 1:09:45IAN LAUGHS
1:10:14 > 1:10:18"Home improvement expert
1:10:18 > 1:10:21"Harold Hill of Harold Hill
1:10:22 > 1:10:28"Came home to find another gentleman's kippers in his grill
1:10:31 > 1:10:36"So he sanded the geezer's winkle off with a Black & Decker drill."
1:10:50 > 1:10:53You're all right, Clive. You know that?
1:10:53 > 1:10:55Merry Christmas.
1:11:00 > 1:11:02Quite finished now. Get on with the fucking thing.
1:11:06 > 1:11:08Something wrong with you, man. "Stand up, sit down."
1:11:08 > 1:11:10- I can't keep up with you. - Oh, whinge, whinge, whinge.
1:11:10 > 1:11:12I'm going to be keeping my eyes on you.
1:11:12 > 1:11:14Come out of my face with that thing, man.
1:11:14 > 1:11:17And my name is Desmond, not Sparky.
1:11:17 > 1:11:20Desi. Desi-ray. Desi-ray...
1:11:20 > 1:11:23- Desmond. - All right, Desi-ray.
1:11:23 > 1:11:24Like your shirt, by the way.
1:11:24 > 1:11:27I used to have one like that in the 1970s, you know.
1:11:27 > 1:11:30Oi, come on, give us a smile. What's wrong with that?
1:11:30 > 1:11:32Come inside and close the bloodclaat door, man.
1:11:32 > 1:11:34Fucking Strang, Strang.
1:11:35 > 1:11:37- Now we get on with the show. - Right. Time is money. Money is time.
1:11:37 > 1:11:40This is expensive equipment. Can we do this?
1:11:40 > 1:11:41Come on, then.
1:11:47 > 1:11:51# Noel Coward was a charmer
1:11:51 > 1:11:55# As a writer he was Brahma
1:11:55 > 1:11:56# With... MUSIC STOPS
1:11:56 > 1:11:58I can't be dealing with this thing, man.
1:11:58 > 1:12:00What was wrong with that? That was perfect.
1:12:00 > 1:12:01Do it again. Do it again.
1:12:01 > 1:12:03Sorry. Sorry, guys. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
1:12:03 > 1:12:06Please forgive me. Please, please, please. All right.
1:12:06 > 1:12:10They've got no fucking sense of humour, that lot, I tell you.
1:12:10 > 1:12:13# Noel Coward was a charmer... #
1:12:13 > 1:12:15- Try pitching it up a little bit. - What?
1:12:15 > 1:12:17- Pitch it. Pitch it.- Listen to the white boy and add pitch.
1:12:17 > 1:12:20- Pitching? They want pitching. - OK, we're going to do one more.
1:12:20 > 1:12:22- Fuck 'em. - This is ridiculous, man.
1:12:22 > 1:12:24It sound like a bad version of Barry White.
1:12:24 > 1:12:26- What the fuck did he just say? - You better...
1:12:26 > 1:12:28Chaz. What did he say?
1:12:28 > 1:12:30All right. One more time.
1:12:32 > 1:12:34Just... Just cool the fuck down, man.
1:12:46 > 1:12:49Get me up! Get me fucking up. You cunt!
1:12:49 > 1:12:52Look at my drums! Look at my drums!
1:12:52 > 1:12:54You don't touch one of my instruments, you...
1:12:56 > 1:12:58That's it.
1:12:58 > 1:13:00- Get out of my studio. - Look, look. Look.
1:13:00 > 1:13:04See, I've got egg all over my fucking face and all, right.
1:13:04 > 1:13:06Jesus. I'll kill you!
1:13:08 > 1:13:10- Just calm down. - Fuck off, mate.
1:13:10 > 1:13:13- You is a dead man. - Where's my fucking manager?
1:13:13 > 1:13:15You're a dead man. You're a dead man.
1:13:15 > 1:13:18- Here are your eggs. - You're a dead man!
1:13:18 > 1:13:21The only thing a manager is good for is doing up your fly
1:13:21 > 1:13:23after a good fucking wank.
1:13:23 > 1:13:27Barry White. I'll give you Barry fucking White, you cunt.
1:13:39 > 1:13:42..never try to teach a pig to sing
1:13:42 > 1:13:45because it wastes time and it annoys the pig!
1:13:47 > 1:13:53# Do re mi so far so good! #
1:13:53 > 1:13:56Aaaaah!
1:13:56 > 1:13:58Police brutality!
1:14:25 > 1:14:26I'm sorry.
1:15:01 > 1:15:05I know. We all want to escape ourselves.
1:15:05 > 1:15:07Best to learn your place.
1:15:09 > 1:15:11Accept your cripplage.
1:15:18 > 1:15:19Denny.
1:15:22 > 1:15:23It's good to see you.
1:15:26 > 1:15:27I think I need a bit of saving.
1:15:28 > 1:15:31Where you been?
1:15:31 > 1:15:32Coming and going.
1:15:36 > 1:15:37- Oi, oi. - Oi, oi.
1:15:43 > 1:15:45Ian, I, um...
1:15:45 > 1:15:48- I need some time off. - Yeah, don't we all?
1:15:48 > 1:15:53Yeah, I need to, um, get away and do my own stuff.
1:15:53 > 1:15:55Don't be a doughnut. There's plenty of time for all that
1:15:55 > 1:15:57- when you've had a proper shave. - I'm serious.
1:15:59 > 1:16:03- Is there a boozer round here?- Yeah, round the corner. The Feathers.
1:16:13 > 1:16:15So, Baxter.
1:16:15 > 1:16:18I understand you've found it difficult
1:16:18 > 1:16:20to fit in at other schools.
1:16:20 > 1:16:25Well, our motto here is Ex Corde Vita.
1:16:25 > 1:16:28Out of the heart springs life.
1:16:30 > 1:16:33Baxter? Baxter?
1:16:33 > 1:16:35Tell me, what would you like to achieve here?
1:16:35 > 1:16:38What would you like to do?
1:16:38 > 1:16:39Hmm?
1:16:40 > 1:16:42Baxter?
1:16:46 > 1:16:48I'll tell you what.
1:16:48 > 1:16:51I'll leave you alone for a moment, just to have a little think.
1:17:03 > 1:17:08# Arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks
1:17:11 > 1:17:16# Aerosol the bricks
1:17:20 > 1:17:24# A lawless brat from a council flat Oh, oh. #
1:18:17 > 1:18:20Come on, Baxter.
1:18:20 > 1:18:23That's it. Come on, sit up straight. It's all right. It's OK.
1:18:23 > 1:18:27Big, deep breaths. Big, deep breaths. That's a good boy.
1:18:27 > 1:18:30Come on, you can do it. Fatten your lungs up.
1:18:30 > 1:18:35In and out. In and out.
1:18:35 > 1:18:40In and out. In and out.
1:18:40 > 1:18:42That's it. That's it.
1:18:50 > 1:18:52I'm sorry.
1:18:54 > 1:18:57- You're always saying you're sorry. - Am I?
1:18:57 > 1:18:58Yeah.
1:19:02 > 1:19:04Well, that's cos... Well, that's cos I am.
1:19:06 > 1:19:08OK.
1:19:11 > 1:19:14You don't want to be like me, Baxter.
1:19:14 > 1:19:16Please don't try and be like me.
1:19:19 > 1:19:20You want to be like you.
1:19:23 > 1:19:26We're all on our own, remember?
1:19:26 > 1:19:28No, Dad. I'm here.
1:19:47 > 1:19:49What's been going on?
1:19:49 > 1:19:51Just the same, you know.
1:19:51 > 1:19:52How are you?
1:19:55 > 1:19:57Sometimes it doesn't work out, OK?
1:20:04 > 1:20:06Sometimes you have to save yourself.
1:20:26 > 1:20:28Did you have a nice time, Bax?
1:20:32 > 1:20:33How's your dad?
1:20:36 > 1:20:39"I'm fine, Mummy. Thanks for asking."
1:21:00 > 1:21:02Mum?
1:21:02 > 1:21:04Mum?
1:21:04 > 1:21:05Mum!
1:21:24 > 1:21:27Christ almighty.
1:21:27 > 1:21:28Language.
1:21:43 > 1:21:44You look terrible.
1:21:46 > 1:21:47Thanks.
1:21:52 > 1:21:53Grapes.
1:21:59 > 1:22:01- I blame myself. - For the grapes?
1:22:03 > 1:22:07I've not been particularly full of the joie de vivre.
1:22:10 > 1:22:12All the colours have gone.
1:22:15 > 1:22:17Wanted the world to go away, too.
1:22:21 > 1:22:22It almost did.
1:22:24 > 1:22:26Count the blessings in the here and now, eh?
1:22:32 > 1:22:35Tired, Ian.
1:22:35 > 1:22:36Will you stay?
1:22:39 > 1:22:41Of course I will.
1:22:55 > 1:22:58- OK, everyone. So, this is Ian. - Hello.
1:22:58 > 1:23:01Ian used to be a student here a few years back.
1:23:01 > 1:23:05And everyone's very excited about you being here, aren't we?
1:23:05 > 1:23:06Well, thank you very much. It's nice to be here.
1:23:06 > 1:23:09Ian, I think you said it's OK if people ask you questions.
1:23:09 > 1:23:10Yeah, go on, pile them in.
1:23:13 > 1:23:15Don't all rush at once.
1:23:15 > 1:23:18- OK, so... - Who'll go first?
1:23:18 > 1:23:20Finished? Is that it? Right. Well, I'm off, then.
1:23:20 > 1:23:22Oh, I don't know why they've gone so quiet now.
1:23:22 > 1:23:23They were really noisy before.
1:23:23 > 1:23:26Oh, yeah. Cortez, you wanted to talk to Ian, didn't you?
1:23:27 > 1:23:30- Hello. - He says hello.
1:23:30 > 1:23:32Oh, hello, mate. Hello. How you going? You all right?
1:23:32 > 1:23:35What you been up to?
1:23:35 > 1:23:38Did you always
1:23:38 > 1:23:42want to be a singer?
1:23:42 > 1:23:44- Did you always want to be a... - Singer.
1:23:44 > 1:23:47Er, well, I don't really think of myself as a singer,
1:23:47 > 1:23:50as it happens, I think of myself as more of an entertainer, really.
1:23:50 > 1:23:52You know, I always wanted to get up on a stage, you know.
1:23:52 > 1:23:54Give it all that, you know.
1:23:56 > 1:23:58I don't know how much longer I can get away with it, really,
1:23:58 > 1:24:01cos I'm a bit of an old chap.
1:24:01 > 1:24:03Anybody else?
1:24:06 > 1:24:08Do you believe in God?
1:24:10 > 1:24:11What's that?
1:24:11 > 1:24:15Do you believe in almighty God who created us in His image?
1:24:16 > 1:24:21I believe in good, which I think is the same thing.
1:24:21 > 1:24:24But do you believe in God? Up in heaven?
1:24:24 > 1:24:26Oh, I used to, but, erm...
1:24:28 > 1:24:29- ..but not any more. - Why not?
1:24:32 > 1:24:36Because I think that down here on Earth, I think that's...
1:24:36 > 1:24:39that's where you got to get your nut together.
1:24:39 > 1:24:41Typical.
1:24:41 > 1:24:43Did you just say "typical"?
1:24:44 > 1:24:47He's a cheeky little bugger, isn't he?
1:24:49 > 1:24:51You're going to help me write a song, OK?
1:24:51 > 1:24:53You're going to help me with the rhythm, right?
1:24:53 > 1:24:55Now, rhythm. Who's tricky with rhythm? Eh?
1:24:55 > 1:24:57Right. Rhythm, I'll have you know,
1:24:57 > 1:24:59is the longest word in the English dictionary
1:24:59 > 1:25:01without any vowels in it, right?
1:25:01 > 1:25:04It's very, very special because you can feel it right here.
1:25:04 > 1:25:08I'm going to give you a rhythm, all right? One, two, three, four.
1:25:08 > 1:25:13One, two, three, four. Wait for it.
1:25:13 > 1:25:17One, two, three. One, two, three.
1:25:17 > 1:25:18One, two, three...
1:25:23 > 1:25:26All right, louder. Everybody louder.
1:25:26 > 1:25:29Louder!
1:25:29 > 1:25:31Louder!
1:25:31 > 1:25:35Go crazy! Go crazy with it! Come on.
1:25:35 > 1:25:37Louder!
1:25:44 > 1:25:46I think that went really well. Thank you so much.
1:25:46 > 1:25:50I had a fight with a guy called Jimmy Coghill behind that tree.
1:25:50 > 1:25:52Did you really? Did you win?
1:25:52 > 1:25:55No, he knocked seven tons of shit out of me.
1:25:55 > 1:26:00There was an orderly here by the name of Hargreaves. Is he still going?
1:26:00 > 1:26:05I'm sorry, Ian. It was a while ago, but Mr Hargreaves took his own life.
1:26:05 > 1:26:08He hanged himself up in one of the attics.
1:26:08 > 1:26:10It's very sad.
1:26:19 > 1:26:21That has made my day, that has.
1:26:29 > 1:26:31- See you. - Yeah, thanks again.
1:26:43 > 1:26:44I don't know who you are any more.
1:26:47 > 1:26:49But you know what I really can't take?
1:26:52 > 1:26:53It's the hope.
1:26:55 > 1:26:58The hope that it's going to get better.
1:27:03 > 1:27:04It's not, is it?
1:27:11 > 1:27:13Everything's out of joint.
1:27:15 > 1:27:18I don't really know if I've got the bollocks to stop it.
1:27:25 > 1:27:28You've got to get out of here, Denny.
1:27:30 > 1:27:33Run away, and you got to do it all by yourself.
1:27:36 > 1:27:40You'll still be my gracious, my family.
1:27:42 > 1:27:45And if you ever forget that,
1:27:45 > 1:27:46act sorry for yourself,
1:27:46 > 1:27:49I'll come back and I'll bleedin' well haunt you.
1:27:49 > 1:27:52You understand?
1:27:52 > 1:27:55Hello, it's Graham, from the Spastics Society.
1:27:55 > 1:27:56We spoke on the phone.
1:28:18 > 1:28:22"Full participation and equality for all." That's the motto.
1:28:22 > 1:28:24This United Nations Year of the Disabled
1:28:24 > 1:28:26is a tremendous opportunity, you know,
1:28:26 > 1:28:30to make people really sit up and think.
1:28:30 > 1:28:34Of course, we're going to need all the help we can get, so...
1:28:34 > 1:28:36Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could get back on top again?
1:28:36 > 1:28:40Maybe a new song, maybe another hit single. Who knows?
1:28:40 > 1:28:42- The UN are very keen. - Are they?
1:28:45 > 1:28:48I understand you've been dabbling in a spot of acting.
1:28:48 > 1:28:52Oh, yeah, I've played a few villains in me time. Typecast.
1:28:52 > 1:28:55Well, here's an opportunity to introduce yourself all over again.
1:28:55 > 1:28:58You know, a new fan base, new beginnings.
1:28:58 > 1:29:00Oh, dear. Your friend seems to have gone.
1:29:00 > 1:29:02Well, look, you seem to be in a spot of trouble.
1:29:02 > 1:29:03May I give you a lift?
1:29:07 > 1:29:09Yeah. That'd be great.
1:30:16 > 1:30:20It's really, er... It's really great to have you back.
1:30:20 > 1:30:21The prodigal son returns.
1:30:23 > 1:30:27To be a geezer like me, you...
1:30:27 > 1:30:29you've got to be a bit of a selfish loony, really.
1:30:29 > 1:30:32Can't bother too much about day and night
1:30:32 > 1:30:34and right and wrong and so forth.
1:30:34 > 1:30:38And occasionally...
1:30:38 > 1:30:41one's behaviour
1:30:41 > 1:30:44makes one ashamed of oneself.
1:30:46 > 1:30:49Well, I'm glad to hear it.
1:30:49 > 1:30:54Anyway, this Year of the Disabled... Got a chance now to get back on top.
1:30:54 > 1:30:57Proper deals going down, so...
1:30:57 > 1:31:01So, what, er... what have you got?
1:31:01 > 1:31:06# When Tessie Trouble's on patrol
1:31:06 > 1:31:11# And Suzie Sadness makes you blue
1:31:11 > 1:31:15# When Lennie Love comes through the door... #
1:31:19 > 1:31:21HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY
1:31:31 > 1:31:34Well, it's not Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll, is it?
1:31:34 > 1:31:36Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks.
1:31:37 > 1:31:39Fucking Year of Disabled.
1:31:39 > 1:31:41I mean, it's like, what? Like, last year we was fine
1:31:41 > 1:31:44and next year is going to be great, but this year, just this year,
1:31:44 > 1:31:46oh, we're all going to be a right bunch of fucking cripples,
1:31:46 > 1:31:49aren't we, eh? Why don't we just form a band?
1:31:49 > 1:31:52I know, I know, we can call ourselves Spastic and the Autistics.
1:31:54 > 1:31:58Oi, oi! You dribblin', wibblin', scribblin', cripplin' little
1:31:58 > 1:32:02fucking hobblin', wobblin', bobblin' fantastic spastic!
1:32:05 > 1:32:07I like it.
1:32:07 > 1:32:10- RADIO:- And welcome back. Well, we all like a bit of jazz, don't we?
1:32:10 > 1:32:13And so, turning to our next item and that's the continuing controversy
1:32:13 > 1:32:16surrounding the United Nations Year of the Disabled.
1:32:16 > 1:32:17We're going to hear from Ian Drury,
1:32:17 > 1:32:19the housewife's favourite punk rocker,
1:32:19 > 1:32:22the man who put the phrase "sex and drugs and rock and roll"
1:32:22 > 1:32:23into the English language,
1:32:23 > 1:32:26and whose new song Spasticus Autisticus
1:32:26 > 1:32:29has been labelled outrageous and offensive.
1:32:29 > 1:32:32We also have with us Graham Hart from the Spastics Society
1:32:32 > 1:32:35to talk about full participation in the Year of the Disabled.
1:32:35 > 1:32:37- Hello, there.- So, turning to you first, Ian Drury.
1:32:37 > 1:32:41First of all, it's not Drury or Dreary or Doory, it's Dury.
1:32:43 > 1:32:46But I would like to say that, yeah, I think we should all fully participate
1:32:46 > 1:32:49in holding Graham down and chopping off his tiny little bollocks
1:32:49 > 1:32:52- for being a spineless little shit. - Right, Ian, thank you.
1:32:52 > 1:32:53I don't think this is the time or the place.
1:32:53 > 1:32:56No, it's not the time or the place. You're right. It never is, is it?
1:32:56 > 1:32:59- I'm terribly sorry. - Will you excuse me, please?
1:33:00 > 1:33:03- Bandit! - No, nobody has banned anything.
1:33:03 > 1:33:05No, you. You're a bandit. You're a chiseller.
1:33:05 > 1:33:07Well, they don't ban cripples, either, do they, eh?
1:33:07 > 1:33:09They just make it difficult for them to function.
1:33:09 > 1:33:11The song is still being played on current affairs programmes.
1:33:11 > 1:33:12Great! Yeah, that's great!
1:33:12 > 1:33:15Late at night when all the raspberries are tucked up in bed,
1:33:15 > 1:33:19- oh, not doing any harm to anybody. - Yes, well, it was found offensive.
1:33:19 > 1:33:20How could I go up to somebody, right,
1:33:20 > 1:33:22who's got the same disabilities as me and be offensive?
1:33:22 > 1:33:24No, not disabled people so much, no.
1:33:24 > 1:33:28Well, it wasn't written for you, was it? Eh? The walkie-talkies!
1:33:28 > 1:33:31It's a war cry type of item, like "Spartacus!"
1:33:31 > 1:33:33Yes, well, if I remember correctly, Spartacus was crucified.
1:33:33 > 1:33:35Yeah, I'll be in good company, then, won't I?
1:33:35 > 1:33:39Look, it was felt that what you've written just isn't very sympathetic.
1:33:39 > 1:33:42Sympathetic? Life ain't sympathetic, right?
1:33:42 > 1:33:44I'm not Tiny Tim. I am Ian Dury.
1:33:44 > 1:33:47People like me do not want sympathy. They want respect.
1:33:47 > 1:33:49It's a waste. OK?
1:33:49 > 1:33:52People felt you had the opportunity to do something remarkable.
1:33:52 > 1:33:55Your crowning glory, to be remembered after you've long gone.
1:33:55 > 1:33:58I do not give a shit.
1:33:58 > 1:34:00I don't care if I'm as popular as a Chinese pig in a synagogue.
1:34:00 > 1:34:05I am not here to be remembered, I'm here to be alive!
1:34:05 > 1:34:08So you take your DisUnited Nations, right,
1:34:08 > 1:34:09and your Year of Dissembling
1:34:09 > 1:34:12and stick it right up your fucking Harris.
1:34:14 > 1:34:15Cunt.
1:34:33 > 1:34:36Keep your body strong, keep your guard up.
1:34:36 > 1:34:37Ian, I need a rest. Oh.
1:34:45 > 1:34:48Clive and I want to be together.
1:34:48 > 1:34:50You don't want to rush into that. Look what happened last time.
1:34:50 > 1:34:53Some blokes turn out to be an absolute nightmare.
1:34:54 > 1:34:55I want a divorce, Ian.
1:34:59 > 1:35:00I still love you.
1:35:02 > 1:35:04It's not about love, silly.
1:35:06 > 1:35:07It's not your choice.
1:35:15 > 1:35:16Let me go.
1:35:23 > 1:35:24Go on, then, you're fired.
1:35:27 > 1:35:29Darling.
1:35:31 > 1:35:33Getting better.
1:35:36 > 1:35:38You're not going to shout at me again, are you?
1:35:55 > 1:35:57You actually been in yet?
1:36:02 > 1:36:04Oh, easy, tiger.
1:36:07 > 1:36:11- How's Mum? - She's fine. She's going to be fine.
1:36:11 > 1:36:14Look, er... it's done.
1:36:16 > 1:36:18We had to let Strangler go,
1:36:18 > 1:36:20cos, er, well, the dramas backstage
1:36:20 > 1:36:23were getting better than the actual show.
1:36:23 > 1:36:25Son, I'm sorry.
1:36:28 > 1:36:30Close your eyes.
1:36:30 > 1:36:32Go on. Go on. Close your eyes.
1:36:35 > 1:36:37Can you feel that?
1:36:38 > 1:36:39That's my hand.
1:36:42 > 1:36:47From now until for ever, I will always be there.
1:36:48 > 1:36:51Just above your shoulder.
1:36:51 > 1:36:52All right?
1:37:12 > 1:37:14I'll tell you what, though.
1:37:14 > 1:37:16I've just been offered a part in a film.
1:37:16 > 1:37:20To play an undernourished villain who wins in the end through love.
1:37:21 > 1:37:25You could come with. Be my assistant. If you like.
1:37:31 > 1:37:34- Don't you want to watch me swim? - Nah. You'll be all right.
1:37:34 > 1:37:38Just remember - keep your head up,
1:37:38 > 1:37:41keep kicking, try not to drown.
1:37:54 > 1:37:58"When a free man dies, he loses the pleasure of life.
1:38:00 > 1:38:02"A slave loses his pain.
1:38:04 > 1:38:09"Death is the only freedom a slave knows.
1:38:09 > 1:38:11"That's why he's not afraid of it.
1:38:13 > 1:38:15"That's why we'll win..."
1:38:42 > 1:38:44Sit properly.
1:38:46 > 1:38:51- Eat your fish. - No! It's horrible.
1:38:53 > 1:38:55What did you say?
1:38:55 > 1:38:56You do as you're told.
1:39:04 > 1:39:08I said, I ain't eating that, it's fucking horrible!
1:39:40 > 1:39:43CROWD CHANTS: Ian! Ian! Ian! Ian!
1:39:46 > 1:39:48One, two, three...
1:39:48 > 1:39:50# I'm Spasticus, Spasticus
1:39:50 > 1:39:52# Spasticus Autisticus
1:39:52 > 1:39:54# I'm Spasticus, Spasticus
1:39:54 > 1:39:56# Spasticus Autisticus
1:39:56 > 1:40:01# I wiggle when I piddle cos my middle is a riddle
1:40:01 > 1:40:02# Swim!
1:40:16 > 1:40:20# Get up! Get up! Get up that dive board! Over!
1:40:20 > 1:40:21# Whoo!
1:40:24 > 1:40:29# So place your hard-earned peanuts in my tin
1:40:29 > 1:40:33# And thank the Creator you're not in the state I'm in
1:40:33 > 1:40:35# So long have I been languished on the shelf
1:40:36 > 1:40:39# I must give all proceedings to myself
1:40:39 > 1:40:41# Ha-ha!
1:40:41 > 1:40:43# I'm Spasticus, Spasticus
1:40:43 > 1:40:45# Spasticus Autisticus
1:40:45 > 1:40:47# I'm Spasticus, Spasticus
1:40:47 > 1:40:49# Spasticus Autisticus
1:40:49 > 1:40:53# 54 appliances in leather and elastic
1:40:53 > 1:40:58# 100,000 thank-yous from 27 spastics
1:40:58 > 1:40:59# Spasticus
1:40:59 > 1:41:01# Spasticus Autisticus
1:41:01 > 1:41:03# I'm Spasticus, Spasticus
1:41:03 > 1:41:05# Spasticus Autisticus
1:41:05 > 1:41:07# Dribbling, wiggling Fiddling, nibbling
1:41:07 > 1:41:12# Fiddling, diddling Widdling, diddling Spasticus... #
1:41:12 > 1:41:15- I'm Spasticus! - I'm Spasticus!
1:41:15 > 1:41:18# I'm Spasticus! #
1:41:18 > 1:41:20Dad!
1:41:20 > 1:41:22I'm Spasticus!
1:41:22 > 1:41:25I'm Spasticus!
1:41:26 > 1:41:27I'm Spasticus!
1:41:27 > 1:41:29# One, two, three, four
1:41:29 > 1:41:31# Spasticus! #
1:41:31 > 1:41:33CROWD CHANTS: Ian! Ian! Ian! Ian!
1:41:56 > 1:41:59And the moral of the story is...
1:42:02 > 1:42:03..don't go looking for morals in stories.
1:42:03 > 1:42:06If you want a message, fuck off down the post office.
1:42:08 > 1:42:13Someone once asked me if I'd missed anything.
1:42:13 > 1:42:14Well...
1:42:16 > 1:42:22If I'd never had a good-looking girl, a great job, great haircut,
1:42:22 > 1:42:23then I could complain,
1:42:23 > 1:42:26but the only thing I've ever missed is a few buses.
1:42:30 > 1:42:32One last time, Chazanova.
1:42:36 > 1:42:38# Blue Gene baby. #
1:42:41 > 1:42:44Now, there are a couple of ways to avoid death.
1:42:46 > 1:42:52And one of them is to be magnificent.
1:42:52 > 1:42:53And this is my favourite way.
1:42:57 > 1:43:02# Skinny white sailor The chances were slender
1:43:02 > 1:43:04# The beauties were brief
1:43:06 > 1:43:11# Shall I mourn your decline with some Thunderbird wine
1:43:11 > 1:43:13# And a black handkerchief?
1:43:15 > 1:43:17# I miss your sad
1:43:19 > 1:43:21# Virginia whisper
1:43:24 > 1:43:26# I miss the voice
1:43:28 > 1:43:31# That called my heart
1:43:34 > 1:43:40# Sweet Gene Vincent
1:43:43 > 1:43:47# Young and old
1:43:51 > 1:43:53# And gone. #
1:44:42 > 1:44:43# Why don't you get back into bed?
1:44:43 > 1:44:46# Why don't you get back into bed?
1:44:46 > 1:44:48# Why don't you get back into bed?
1:44:48 > 1:44:52# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:44:52 > 1:44:53# Some of Buddy Holly The working folly
1:44:53 > 1:44:56# Good Golly Miss Molly and boats
1:44:56 > 1:44:58# Hammersmith Palais The Bolshoi Ballet
1:44:58 > 1:45:00# Jump back in the alley add Nanny goats
1:45:00 > 1:45:02# 18-wheeler Scammells Domineker camels
1:45:02 > 1:45:04# All other mammals plus equal votes
1:45:04 > 1:45:06# Seeing Piccadilly Fanny Smith and Willy
1:45:06 > 1:45:08# Being rather silly and porridge oats
1:45:08 > 1:45:10# A bit of grin and bear it a bit of come and share it
1:45:10 > 1:45:12# You're welcome, we can spare it Yellow socks
1:45:12 > 1:45:14# Too short to be haughty too nutty to be naughty
1:45:14 > 1:45:16# Going on 40, no electric shocks
1:45:16 > 1:45:18# The juice of the carrot the smile of the parrot
1:45:18 > 1:45:20# A little drop of claret anything that rocks
1:45:20 > 1:45:22# Elvis and Scotty days when I ain't spotty
1:45:22 > 1:45:24# Sitting on the potty curing smallpox
1:45:24 > 1:45:27# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:45:28 > 1:45:31# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:45:32 > 1:45:35# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:45:36 > 1:45:40# Reasons to be cheerful One, two, three
1:45:50 > 1:45:52# One, two, three
1:45:52 > 1:45:54# Health service glasses Gigolos and brasses
1:45:54 > 1:45:56# Round or skinny bottoms
1:45:56 > 1:45:58# Take your mum to Paris lighting up the chalice
1:45:58 > 1:46:00# Wee Willie Harris
1:46:00 > 1:46:04# Bantu Stephen Biko, listening to Rico Harpo, Groucho, Chico
1:46:04 > 1:46:06# Cheddar cheese and pickle the Vincent motorsickle
1:46:06 > 1:46:08# Slap and tickle
1:46:08 > 1:46:10# Woody Allen, Dali Dimitri and Pasquale
1:46:10 > 1:46:12# Balabalabala and Volare
1:46:12 > 1:46:14# Something nice to study Phoning up a buddy
1:46:14 > 1:46:16# Being in my nuddy
1:46:16 > 1:46:18# Saying okey-dokey Sing-along-a-smokie
1:46:18 > 1:46:20# Coming along a chokey
1:46:20 > 1:46:22# John Coltrane's soprano Adi Celentano
1:46:22 > 1:46:24# Bonar Colleano
1:46:24 > 1:46:27# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:46:28 > 1:46:31# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:46:32 > 1:46:35# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:46:36 > 1:46:40# Reasons to be cheerful One, two, three
1:46:48 > 1:46:49# Yes, yes, dear, dear
1:46:49 > 1:46:52# Perhaps next year or maybe even never
1:46:52 > 1:46:56# In which case
1:47:28 > 1:47:32# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:47:32 > 1:47:35# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:47:36 > 1:47:39# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:47:40 > 1:47:44# Reasons to be cheerful One, two, three
1:47:44 > 1:47:48# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:47:48 > 1:47:51# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:47:52 > 1:47:55# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1:47:56 > 1:48:01# Reasons to be cheerful One, two, three. #
1:48:01 > 1:48:03Johnny!
1:48:36 > 1:48:40# Reasons to be cheerful One, two, three
1:48:43 > 1:48:44# Oi, oi, oi!
1:48:46 > 1:48:48# One, two, three. #
1:49:18 > 1:49:22Oi, oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi.
1:49:22 > 1:49:25Now, fuck off all of you. You're fired!
1:49:25 > 1:49:26And go and be magnificent!