0:00:02 > 0:00:09This film contains strong language
0:01:05 > 0:01:07FIREWORKS BANGING
0:01:10 > 0:01:13# If you can't make me happy
0:01:13 > 0:01:16# Gonna walk away the blame
0:01:19 > 0:01:21# If you can't make me happy
0:01:22 > 0:01:25# Gonna walk away the shame
0:01:28 > 0:01:30# See, I got my cuts and bruises
0:01:30 > 0:01:31# Ah-ooh
0:01:31 > 0:01:33# Gonna walk away the pain
0:01:33 > 0:01:35# Ah-ooh
0:01:36 > 0:01:39# And if you can't make me happy
0:01:39 > 0:01:40# Ah-ooh
0:01:40 > 0:01:42# Gonna walk away again. #
0:01:43 > 0:01:44Oh, you are up.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48I'm taking Posy to an audition,
0:01:48 > 0:01:50so you're manning the front desk this morning.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Can I not? I'm revising. Is Dad not around?
0:01:52 > 0:01:55Your dad's writing. You can revise on the desk.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58You have to give people keys, Beth.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Won't be any different to up here. Come on.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Take your hair down and make yourself a bit more presentable
0:02:03 > 0:02:05# Why don't you see
0:02:07 > 0:02:08# What you're doing to me? #
0:02:08 > 0:02:10SIREN
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Police! Run!
0:02:12 > 0:02:13# Why won't you go?
0:02:15 > 0:02:18# Leave me walking alone. #
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Hey!
0:02:20 > 0:02:21# Why won't you go?
0:02:21 > 0:02:26# If you can't make me happy. #
0:02:30 > 0:02:32- Mmm, did you bring coffee? - Yes, thanks.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34I'm taking Posy to an audition,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37so you're going to have to get your own lunch as well.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39There's some nice turkey ham in the fridge.
0:02:39 > 0:02:40Which?
0:02:40 > 0:02:41Which what?
0:02:41 > 0:02:42No, which is it, turkey or ham?
0:02:42 > 0:02:44It's turkey ham.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47That's what it is, turkey ham.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50Why do they call it turkey ham when it's only got turkey in it?
0:02:50 > 0:02:53It's from flying bloody pigs, that's what,
0:02:53 > 0:02:55like your next bestseller.
0:02:56 > 0:02:57# Why won't you see
0:03:00 > 0:03:01# What you're doing to me?
0:03:04 > 0:03:06# Why won't you go?
0:03:08 > 0:03:11# Leave me walking alone
0:03:11 > 0:03:13# Why won't you go? #
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Was everything all right? Did you sleep OK?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20No, I didn't.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22All those bloody seagulls squawking since sunrise.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24They kind of come with the sea.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Wasn't like that in the book.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28It was a peaceful retreat in the book.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44You're lucky I'm not coming in to talk to your mother and father.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48Well, good luck with that if you change your mind.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Um...
0:03:53 > 0:03:55is this actually your house?
0:03:56 > 0:03:57Yeah.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Hmm. I'm late, aren't I?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15You've missed breakfast, I'm afraid. Which room are you in?
0:04:15 > 0:04:17All of them, unfortunately.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19I'm the new cleaner.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Right, yeah.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23I'm Beth Fischer.
0:04:23 > 0:04:24Oh, charmed. Serena.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Nice to meet you, Serena.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Can I just take your surname for the key log?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Yeah, um,
0:04:31 > 0:04:35it's spelled M-O-L-I-N-A.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Great. So you know you don't need to do the attic room on the top floor,
0:04:39 > 0:04:40just the guest rooms.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42This is Edna, our other cleaner.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44She'll show you around.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49How do you say your surname, just so I don't get it wrong?
0:04:49 > 0:04:50Molina.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52Molina.
0:04:52 > 0:04:53Mm-hmm, yeah.
0:04:53 > 0:04:56Serena Molina the cleaner.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Meant to be.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05Right, um, so Edna's just down there.
0:05:34 > 0:05:35Ew.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04WOMAN MOANING ON COMPUTER
0:06:08 > 0:06:09CLATTERING
0:06:09 > 0:06:11- WOMAN ON COMPUTER: - Yeah, in deep. Oh.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14You don't need to clean here.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Are you sure? Looks pretty dirty from where I'm standing.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18Filthy, actually.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Fuck.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Is that your dad then?
0:06:34 > 0:06:36The pervert you keep locked away in the attic?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- So you've read the book then? - No.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40It's a little lightweight for me.
0:06:40 > 0:06:41Any good?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Really brilliant.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46What's he doing here then?
0:06:46 > 0:06:48He lives here.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50No, I mean he's German, isn't he?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52So what's he doing in this culture vacuum?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Well, I imagine he's asking himself the same question now
0:06:55 > 0:06:57that he's got writer's block.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00My name's not Serena Molina, by the way.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Did you not realise I was joking?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08Oh. I thought the joke was on you.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Emelia... Conan Doyle.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14And, yes, I am related to the Sherlock Holmes author.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Wow.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19That's great.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Anyway...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I'd better go. Got to skooch.
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Bye.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47She wants to do it, so why can't she?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Because she will...
0:07:49 > 0:07:51Because she will have to come out of school
0:07:51 > 0:07:53if the rehearsals are during the day.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55She is six years old, Jonathan.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57What's she going to miss, eh?
0:07:57 > 0:07:58What's she going to miss?
0:07:58 > 0:08:01Oh, I don't know. Just the important stuff!
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Reading! Writing!
0:08:02 > 0:08:04A lot of bloody good those things have done you,
0:08:04 > 0:08:07parked up here fiddling with your arsehole,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09and it's the rest of us... do not turn away!
0:08:09 > 0:08:11It is the rest of us who are running around,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14trying to make money out of this godforsaken house
0:08:14 > 0:08:15to make ends meet.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17It's a professional engagement
0:08:17 > 0:08:19she's been offered, and she wants to do it.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Does she really want to? - Yes, look at her!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Or is it just you trying to make up for your own failures?
0:08:25 > 0:08:26Oh, well, I can only bow
0:08:26 > 0:08:29to your superior knowledge of failure.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31You are the Grand Poobah of it.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33You are so fucking childish.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35It takes years to write a great novel.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39And it takes you just as long to write a shit one.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44KNOCKING
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Go away, Mum!
0:08:46 > 0:08:47I'm revising!
0:08:47 > 0:08:48KNOCKING
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Oh.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Sorry, I didn't realise you were here.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59I'd say the same goes for this lot.
0:08:59 > 0:09:00You caught the show then?
0:09:02 > 0:09:04This is my get-out-of-jail card.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07And, uh... is that your sex hat?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Look, I don't have long. I just stopped by to give you this.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15You had a book on fairies by your bed.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Oh, yeah.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19Yeah, it was my little sister's.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22But that's lovely. Thanks.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Anyway, I should get going.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27You should come for dinner,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30tonight, as a thank you for the book.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Seriously? With your family?
0:09:33 > 0:09:34Yeah.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36That would be amazing.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Great, so do you need to call your mum to check?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41I would, but she's a bit dead.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Oh. Sorry.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47It's OK.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50It's not very fair for you to take the blame.
0:09:50 > 0:09:51She did kill herself.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54But thanks anyway.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Fucking useless arsehole. Come on, Posy, get in the car.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02We need to get going if we're going to really fuck your father off.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- POSY:- You said a bad word!
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Nice!
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Bye.
0:10:08 > 0:10:09Bye.
0:10:34 > 0:10:35Have you got any ID?
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Yeah, definitely me.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46No. Are you 18?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48- Yes.- Can you prove it?
0:10:51 > 0:10:53There.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Are these not the breasts of an 18-year-old?
0:10:55 > 0:10:56That'll be £2.99, please.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04I can't believe we're stooping to the hired help
0:11:04 > 0:11:05for friendships now, Beth.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07What's going on?
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Your daughter has invited the bloody cleaner for dinner.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Which one?
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Well, I assume it's the 17-year-old.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Please tell me it's not Edna, the bearded pensioner.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Sorry. I came in through the private entrance.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- I didn't know which one I should use.- Oh, hey.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Hello, Mrs Fischer.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Thank you so much for inviting me.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32This is for you.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34Oh, thank you.
0:11:34 > 0:11:35Are you old enough to drink wine?
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Yes...
0:11:37 > 0:11:40in Denmark and restricted parts of Europe.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Oh, have you met my dad, Emelia?
0:11:42 > 0:11:45No, I don't think we've actually been introduced.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Beth, can you come and finish up the plates?
0:11:48 > 0:11:51Hi, I'm Jonathan Fischer.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Hmm. I hope you've washed that hand before I shake it, Mr Fischer.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Emelia. Hi.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Lovely to meet you properly, Emelia.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Conan Doyle. Emelia Conan Doyle.
0:12:05 > 0:12:09Yes, I am related to the Sherlock Holmes author.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?
0:12:11 > 0:12:12Oh.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15I've read all his work.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19So I'll get you a drink. Wine?
0:12:19 > 0:12:23You can have a glass of wine with dinner, can't you? White, huh?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25That's what you girls prefer, white?
0:12:31 > 0:12:34So tell me about the cliff house.
0:12:34 > 0:12:35I want to know everything.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Hmm. There's not much to tell.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I came over here to go to Cambridge.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Saw a beautiful young actress in a touring play...
0:12:44 > 0:12:46and whisked her away to the cliff house,
0:12:46 > 0:12:48just for the weekend.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Wrote the book in ignorance at 22,
0:12:51 > 0:12:52struck gold...
0:12:53 > 0:12:55..and now it hangs around my neck,
0:12:55 > 0:12:56taunting me with its success.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Yeah, I meant the house,
0:12:59 > 0:13:01like the actual building.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Is it Victorian?
0:13:03 > 0:13:04LAUGHTER
0:13:07 > 0:13:10No, Edwardian, actually.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12I'm joking.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I'd love to know about the book.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Are you applying to university, Emelia?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19I'm sure Beth told you she's applying to Oxford.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Um, I'm not actually going to uni.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Are you at the University of Life, Emelia?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Yes.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30Mum says that's what dossers say.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Actually, um, I'm also writing a novel.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Are you? That's cool.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42Yeah, but, um, got quite a lot to live up to, though,
0:13:42 > 0:13:43as you can imagine.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46I mean, you can't exactly go looking under "Conan Doyle"
0:13:46 > 0:13:48and come up with some airport read...
0:13:48 > 0:13:51called "Dirty Bitch", can you?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53That's exactly what I should have done.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56Nothing to me, all this university education.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00What a shame you didn't realise that before you wrote Mental Interiors.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01You might still have a publisher.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05You should take it on board, Mr Fischer.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08"It is with bad sentiments that one makes good novels".
0:14:08 > 0:14:11That's Aldous Huxley, Mrs Fischer.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Who does this belong to?
0:14:47 > 0:14:49- It's not mine. It's Emelia's. - Well, where is Emelia?
0:14:54 > 0:14:56What are you doing?
0:14:57 > 0:14:58Was having a break.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00Don't be smart. Get in.
0:15:01 > 0:15:02Emelia!
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Emelia!
0:15:06 > 0:15:09(Fuck you very much.)
0:15:09 > 0:15:10What? I said, "Thank you. "
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Like, I just sang it. # Thank you! #
0:15:20 > 0:15:21Hi.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23What are you doing here?
0:15:23 > 0:15:26Certainly not waitressing, if that's what you're thinking.
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Hello, Pokey.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- It's Posy!- I know.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Sit in my section.
0:15:31 > 0:15:32I'll move someone.
0:15:37 > 0:15:38How's your novel going?
0:15:38 > 0:15:41Oh, well, you know.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Posy, would you like a milkshake?
0:15:44 > 0:15:47Yes.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48I'd like to have...
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Uh, ladies first.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53I'll be back in a moment to take your order.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Excuse me?
0:15:54 > 0:15:57I am a vegetarian.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59That isn't something to boast about.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04SHE SPEAKS FRENCH
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Mmm, thank you!
0:16:19 > 0:16:20I need a spoon.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22So what can I do for you?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Actually, I was just thinking...
0:16:24 > 0:16:27You know, if you get that down on paper, it's called writing.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30You can have that lesson on me.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Actually, I was thinking I might be able to do something for you.
0:16:34 > 0:16:35Seriously.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38I could teach you creative writing...if you're struggling.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Just you and me writing?
0:16:40 > 0:16:41Yes.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Sounds fun.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44I'll see you tomorrow.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46TAPPING ON WINDOW
0:17:29 > 0:17:34Oh, Annie, you scared the wits out of me.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Granny, it's Emelia.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Not Annie.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Mum's dead, remember?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Don't stay up too late now, will you?
0:17:48 > 0:17:50There's school tomorrow.
0:17:50 > 0:17:55Granny, it's only 4:00, and it's Sunday tomorrow.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59And I'm working as well, to tide me over for a bit.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Yes, yes.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Of course.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Basically, yeah, I go like,
0:18:19 > 0:18:21"So who's your sexual fantasy?" Yeah?
0:18:21 > 0:18:25And instead of saying like, you know, Pamela Anderson
0:18:25 > 0:18:28or something, he goes, "A mermaid."
0:18:29 > 0:18:30I was like, "A mermaid?
0:18:30 > 0:18:34"That is half fish you want to shag, you sick fuck."
0:18:35 > 0:18:38He goes, "Yeah pretty much is with most girls, innit?"
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I think my granny's dying.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48All right.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50When my granny died, yeah, my brother, little Tommy, yeah,
0:18:50 > 0:18:54starts singing, "Burn, baby, burn," as she's going in the oven.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Fucking priceless, calling my nan "baby."
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Babe?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Babe?
0:19:08 > 0:19:10SPLASHING
0:20:15 > 0:20:19Well, I... I haven't actually acted professionally...
0:20:19 > 0:20:22for a few years now, no.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Um, I was in a really popular coffee commercial.
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Um, I used to be Joa Saunders.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30I'm the one who married...
0:20:30 > 0:20:32the novelist Jonathan A Fischer.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37So, um, I was just calling because I'm looking...
0:20:37 > 0:20:39for new representation.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40Right.
0:20:40 > 0:20:41Yeah.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Yes, all right, I will.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46I'll, um, I'll call back when I'm in something.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48Thanks.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52BELL RINGS
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Morning, Mrs Fischer.
0:20:57 > 0:20:58How's it hanging?
0:20:58 > 0:21:00You're late.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03And I want to have a word with you.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07What are you doing with things that are left in the rooms?
0:21:07 > 0:21:09Oh, well, uh...
0:21:09 > 0:21:10The bed, I'm making.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11The carpet, I've...
0:21:11 > 0:21:13I've been walking on that.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14And the curtains,
0:21:14 > 0:21:17recently I've taken to swinging on them. Is that OK?
0:21:17 > 0:21:21I mean the things that people leave behind accidentally.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Are you stealing them?
0:21:23 > 0:21:24No.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27I haven't found anything that's been left behind.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30What's been left behind?
0:21:30 > 0:21:35Well, the man who vacated room three on Tuesday...
0:21:35 > 0:21:36couldn't find his teeth.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Are you actually accusing me of stealing
0:21:41 > 0:21:43a set of old man's false teeth?
0:21:43 > 0:21:45What did you think I was going to do with them?
0:21:45 > 0:21:46These not look like mine?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49I know that you live with your grandparents.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Yes, and they both have their own teeth.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55If things get left behind, they come down to the lost property box.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56I know.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59I read the memo.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01It was...fascinating
0:22:01 > 0:22:04You should have been the writer in the family.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06Emelia,
0:22:06 > 0:22:10you are this close to getting fired.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20KNOCKING
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Come in.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30Hi.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33Give me one minute.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36Let me just finish what I am doing here. Sit down.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47Sorry about that.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50A moment of inspiration can be lost
0:22:50 > 0:22:52in far less time if you don't indulge it.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55But I...caught it.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59So hello.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01Did you just fake that?
0:23:01 > 0:23:03No.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Yes.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14So where's your work?
0:23:14 > 0:23:16I didn't bring anything with me.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19I understand if you're not ready to show me what you have written.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Wherever you've been, I went there first.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27I'm not sure I'd own up to that.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33So can you at least tell me what your novel's about?
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Do you have anything to drink?
0:23:40 > 0:23:41No.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45Can't you just go downstairs? I mean, there must be something downstairs.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52So you haven't told your family about our lessons then.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53No, I haven't.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Hmm.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02I do have a story actually. It's about a naughty pixie.
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Emelia, come on, this isn't school.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Good, because I got expelled from school.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15I really wouldn't let your daughter anywhere near me.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17She's 17.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19That's old enough to know your own mind.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Is this a lesson on subtext, Mr Fischer?
0:24:26 > 0:24:29OK, let's start with text and subtext then.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31I suppose that's something.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34And please don't call me Mr Fischer. It makes me feel old.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I don't want to eat it! I don't like it!
0:25:08 > 0:25:11You haven't even tried it. Come on, you have to eat some.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15No, she doesn't. You don't have to eat it, Posy, darling.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Beth, don't force-feed her.
0:25:18 > 0:25:19You would have made me eat it.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22Well, we've learned from our mistakes.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30How's the book going?
0:25:46 > 0:25:48PHONE RINGS
0:25:50 > 0:25:51Hello?
0:25:53 > 0:25:54Emelia!
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Can I go out for the evening?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Well, it's a school night.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09- Yeah, but I'm on study leave. - Technically, it's a school night.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11You can go out.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16- Be back by 10:00. - Great.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23Show some fucking backbone, you total tool.
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Don't start, Joa!
0:26:24 > 0:26:27You'd slept with half of Basingstoke by her age.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Lucky fucking Basingstoke!
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Wow, look at that.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Wow. That's amazing.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- Boy, I wish I had a camera. - Take a picture on your phone.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41I wish I had a phone. Anyway, we should grab what we can
0:26:41 > 0:26:44before they realise it's wrecked here.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Oh.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Huge men's T-shirts.
0:26:52 > 0:26:53Not as good as these.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Women's shoes. - Oh, those are revolting!
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Look at the size of them!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Why is everything so massive?
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Here, you should have this.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05- We can't actually take them. - They might belong to someone.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07No, you can claim it, provided notice is given
0:27:07 > 0:27:09so the rightful owner has a chance to come forward.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15We are taking all your stuff, OK?
0:27:15 > 0:27:20We're having the big T-shirts and the shoes, all right?
0:27:20 > 0:27:21Is that all right with you?
0:27:21 > 0:27:24BOTH SCREAM
0:27:36 > 0:27:37Ha-ha!
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Aah!
0:27:50 > 0:27:52What's that?
0:27:52 > 0:27:54It's a joint. Do you want some?
0:27:54 > 0:27:55No, thanks.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Where on earth do you get hard drugs from?
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Are you for real, Pollyanna?
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- Can I try it? - Yeah.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11It's just a rollie, though.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13I just wanted to see your face.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18COUGHING
0:28:25 > 0:28:28How come you're not doing your A-levels?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Surely you want to get out of here like everyone else.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35My dad thinks you're really clever.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39I was doing A-levels.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43I was at The Holy Family, but I got kicked out.
0:28:44 > 0:28:45I'm quite pleased actually.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50Cos my mum always said that being a Conan Doyle
0:28:50 > 0:28:52made you special, and now I get to skip
0:28:52 > 0:28:55all that religious indoctrination and do something proper.
0:28:58 > 0:28:59Did your dad really say that?
0:29:01 > 0:29:03What else did he say?
0:29:03 > 0:29:04Nothing.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10I hope you don't mind me asking, but what happened to your mum?
0:29:14 > 0:29:17She jumped off the flyover at Shoreham cos my dad didn't love her.
0:29:18 > 0:29:20That didn't kill her, though.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23She squeaked around in a wheelchair for a couple years after that.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25And then when he didn't come back and save her,
0:29:25 > 0:29:28she overdosed on sleeping pills.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30Why didn't he come back? Where is he?
0:29:32 > 0:29:35Dead...disabled, divorced.
0:29:35 > 0:29:36Fuck knows.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38God, Emelia, that's awful.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44So is this what your book's going to be about?
0:29:47 > 0:29:48No.
0:29:51 > 0:29:53It's about bestiality.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55SHE LAUGHS
0:30:00 > 0:30:02Emelia?
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Do you want to come up to Oxford with me?
0:30:04 > 0:30:08For my interview? We could go for a couple of days.
0:30:08 > 0:30:09Stay over.
0:30:11 > 0:30:12I'll pay.
0:30:13 > 0:30:15What, and hang out with a load of geeks?
0:30:16 > 0:30:20Fuck that. I'd rather chew off my own arm and club myself to death with it.
0:31:01 > 0:31:03Uh, sorry.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05- I was looking for Beth. - Yeah, I can see that.
0:31:05 > 0:31:09Looking...long and...hard.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12What, is that quits now?
0:31:17 > 0:31:18Oh, that's right.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21Go back to your procrast-urbating
0:31:30 > 0:31:32I'm done with my answers.
0:31:34 > 0:31:35Are you?
0:31:35 > 0:31:36No.
0:31:38 > 0:31:39Stop cheating.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45- How can you write like that? - Well...
0:31:45 > 0:31:49I found these miraculous claw-like appendages at the end of my arms,
0:31:49 > 0:31:52and they were ideal for clutching blunt instruments
0:31:52 > 0:31:53such as this, a pencil.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58I meant, wouldn't it just be easier to use your laptop?
0:32:00 > 0:32:02I'd be lost without mine.
0:32:05 > 0:32:06I don't have a laptop.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08I come from a no-parent family.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11We spend most of our money on gravestones.
0:32:13 > 0:32:14Ah.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16I'm sorry.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Maybe you could use Posy's computer.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Maybe I could.
0:32:25 > 0:32:26I forgive you.
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Your shoes are massive.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07There you are.
0:33:07 > 0:33:08Yep, here I am.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11What are you doing here? I thought you'd finished for the day.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14Um, I was wondering about Oxford.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19Um, and I wondered if the offer still stands for me to come with you.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22- I thought you said you didn't want to come.- Of course I want to come.
0:33:22 > 0:33:25You don't have to. I don't mind. I'm not bothered.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27I want to come.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Well, the offer's still there. I'd love you to come.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35Wicked. Cup of tea?
0:33:35 > 0:33:36Yeah, great.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58What's that?
0:33:58 > 0:34:00It's a doggie bag, Granny.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03Is it Bonnie's food?
0:34:04 > 0:34:06No, Granny, um...
0:34:06 > 0:34:08doggie bag, as in leftovers.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10Bonnie's dead, remember?
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Bonnie's dead?
0:34:16 > 0:34:19- Bonnie's dead! - Yes, yes.
0:34:19 > 0:34:20Well, well, when?
0:34:20 > 0:34:24Why didn't somebody tell me?
0:34:25 > 0:34:27Oh, Annie...
0:34:27 > 0:34:30Why didn't you tell me?
0:34:30 > 0:34:33Why didn't somebody tell me?
0:34:46 > 0:34:48What are you doing?
0:34:48 > 0:34:51Nothing. The usual, boring.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55I was wondering...
0:34:57 > 0:35:01..if you would like to go out to dinner.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03I can't, darling. I've got tons to do.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Oh, come on. It's Friday night.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09I'm onto something here. Really, I... I can't just stop now.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12Fine. Starve then.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26You're not going to need that today.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Um...
0:35:28 > 0:35:29You're going on a field trip.
0:35:31 > 0:35:32Hmm, what about the Shrew?
0:35:32 > 0:35:36She's in London with Posy for an audition, so... let's go.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53# Are you following me
0:35:53 > 0:35:54# Or am I following you?
0:35:54 > 0:35:57# Tell me, how do you do What you do? #
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Come with me.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02# Cos the truth is I never thought two...#
0:36:03 > 0:36:05So where are we going?
0:36:05 > 0:36:06You'll see.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12# Could ever come Close as we do. #
0:37:05 > 0:37:07You are very quiet.
0:37:09 > 0:37:10Have I bored you to death?
0:37:12 > 0:37:14No...the opposite.
0:37:16 > 0:37:17It's just...
0:37:18 > 0:37:21My dad was never around to talk to about him...
0:37:21 > 0:37:22Arthur.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27All I have are a collection of his books my mum gave me.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30That's your experience, Emelia.
0:37:30 > 0:37:31That's you.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38And it's your experiences that shape you as a writer.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43When I wrote The Cliff House, it was me.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47It ripped everything I had from my soul. It devoured me.
0:37:48 > 0:37:50And it's left me with nothing.
0:37:51 > 0:37:53But, fuck, it was good.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Even if you do say so yourself.
0:38:04 > 0:38:08# If I could bottle you up in an essence or two
0:38:08 > 0:38:12# I would sip you forever and never need you
0:38:12 > 0:38:16# Cos I howl at the moon and the sun and the sea
0:38:16 > 0:38:20# But I wish I could tell what this spell is on me
0:38:20 > 0:38:23# And I don't know how you do what you do
0:38:23 > 0:38:28# But Shakespeare has nothing on words like you do
0:38:28 > 0:38:31# Don't know how you do what you do
0:38:31 > 0:38:34# Please do it to me. #
0:38:37 > 0:38:38Thank you.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41That was one of the best days of my life.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18There was no-one at the desk when we got in,
0:39:18 > 0:39:20so we helped ourselves to our key,
0:39:20 > 0:39:22only to find that the room wasn't cleaned.
0:39:22 > 0:39:24It's not on.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27No, it's not, but I left my husband manning the fort today,
0:39:27 > 0:39:28and you know what men are like.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30No.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32In the book, the rooms are clean.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34Look.
0:39:34 > 0:39:37Here and, uh, here
0:39:37 > 0:39:40and here.
0:39:40 > 0:39:42"The room sparkles. "
0:39:42 > 0:39:43It says it.
0:39:45 > 0:39:46Where have you been?
0:39:46 > 0:39:48Meeting a new editor.
0:39:48 > 0:39:52I'm Jonathan Fischer, the author.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Hi...
0:39:56 > 0:39:58Actually, the room was sparkling
0:39:58 > 0:40:00with energy and atmosphere.
0:40:00 > 0:40:03Yeah, right, yeah, of course.
0:40:03 > 0:40:04The room is through here,
0:40:04 > 0:40:07if you would like to take your wife for a tour?
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Yeah. Lovely.
0:40:09 > 0:40:11Let's go.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12Come on, Margaret. Bring the cagoules.
0:40:14 > 0:40:15Jonathan,
0:40:15 > 0:40:20how could you not have noticed that that bloody girl didn't turn up?
0:40:20 > 0:40:21Oh... didn't she turn up?
0:40:26 > 0:40:27You said, "bloody"!
0:40:27 > 0:40:29Bethany!
0:40:37 > 0:40:39# Oh, yeah
0:40:40 > 0:40:42# Ooh
0:40:43 > 0:40:46# Mr Big Stuff
0:40:46 > 0:40:47# Who do you think you are?
0:40:47 > 0:40:50# Mr Big Stuff
0:40:50 > 0:40:53# You're never gonna get my love
0:40:53 > 0:40:57# Now because you wear all those fancy clothes
0:40:57 > 0:40:58# Oh, yeah
0:40:58 > 0:41:02# And have a big, fine car, oh, yes, you do, now
0:41:02 > 0:41:06# Do you think I can afford to give you my love?
0:41:06 > 0:41:08# Oh, yeah
0:41:08 > 0:41:11# You think you're higher than every star above?
0:41:11 > 0:41:14# Mr Big Stuff...#
0:41:38 > 0:41:40Dad? Have you seen Emelia?
0:41:40 > 0:41:42No, isn't she here?
0:41:43 > 0:41:45And why ask me?
0:41:45 > 0:41:46I only asked if you'd seen her.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49She just didn't show up for work this morning. That's all.
0:41:53 > 0:41:54Hmm...
0:42:08 > 0:42:09Oh, thank God.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11I thought I was going to be arrested.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Why? What have you done?
0:42:14 > 0:42:15Oh.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18Well, I am 17.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21Unless there's some strange local bylaw I don't know about,
0:42:21 > 0:42:23and kissing's been deemed illegal.
0:42:26 > 0:42:29Well, anyway, got other things to worry about today,
0:42:29 > 0:42:32starting with a showdown with the Shrew cos of you.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35Why, what-what's going on?
0:42:35 > 0:42:36What's she said?
0:42:36 > 0:42:37All right, keep your wig on.
0:42:37 > 0:42:39It's about yesterday.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41Somebody was supposed to cover for me.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45You're not very good at this, are you?
0:42:50 > 0:42:52Are you coming to Posy's party?
0:42:53 > 0:42:55It's a P party, but...
0:42:56 > 0:42:57Um...
0:42:58 > 0:43:00So she can come as a princess.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04You can come as...a pervert.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07Or a...paedophile.
0:43:34 > 0:43:36Finish your food, Posy.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39Emelia said to give peas a chance.
0:43:41 > 0:43:42I love Emelia.
0:43:44 > 0:43:46She's great, isn't she, Dad?
0:43:47 > 0:43:49Yes.
0:43:49 > 0:43:50Yes, she's great.
0:44:00 > 0:44:02So can she come to Posy's party on Saturday?
0:44:02 > 0:44:05- No. - Of course she can come.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08What on Earth are you talking about?
0:44:08 > 0:44:11It's bad enough that Beth's decided she's going up to Oxford with her.
0:44:11 > 0:44:12It's not like she's one of our kids.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15Of course she can come to Posy's party.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17I'm finished.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20Fine, get down.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25Can I watch Sex and the City?
0:44:33 > 0:44:34(Thanks, Dad.)
0:44:37 > 0:44:38DISHES CLATTER LOUDLY
0:44:46 > 0:44:48Where do you want me to put this?
0:44:48 > 0:44:50Oh, just there, anywhere.
0:44:50 > 0:44:51It's fine.
0:45:05 > 0:45:06Hey!
0:45:08 > 0:45:09Hello, Peter.
0:45:11 > 0:45:13Why are you wearing that massive coat?
0:45:13 > 0:45:14To stash this.
0:45:14 > 0:45:19And I'd have felt self-conscious on the bus wearing this.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Oh, my God, you look amazing.
0:45:34 > 0:45:35Bethany.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40Better go and help my mum before she has a nervous breakdown. Wait here.
0:46:09 > 0:46:11- Hiya. - Hi.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14Ooh!
0:46:14 > 0:46:16You look unbelievable.
0:46:16 > 0:46:20Um, is that appropriate behaviour for a man of the cloth?
0:46:20 > 0:46:21I can't help it.
0:46:21 > 0:46:24Oh, well, it's not the sexiest of outfits. Was Piglet taken?
0:46:52 > 0:46:54I'll go out first.
0:46:54 > 0:46:56Don't come until I'm out and away, OK?
0:46:56 > 0:46:59I won't come at all after that performance.
0:47:04 > 0:47:06Joa.
0:47:06 > 0:47:09What were you doing in there?
0:47:09 > 0:47:12I spilled fromage frais on my ecclesiastical smock.
0:47:15 > 0:47:16Where's Beth?
0:47:16 > 0:47:20Definitely not in the cleaning cupboard. That's for sure.
0:47:20 > 0:47:21Fuck.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23You stop right there, young lady.
0:47:23 > 0:47:24What's going on?
0:47:24 > 0:47:26I have just found,
0:47:26 > 0:47:28in your underage daughter's bedroom,
0:47:28 > 0:47:31this... at a children's party.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34You are weeks away from your exams,
0:47:34 > 0:47:36and you've started drinking alcohol?
0:47:36 > 0:47:38You still have to work.
0:47:38 > 0:47:41Keep it together, Beth.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43Oh, who bloody cares?
0:47:43 > 0:47:44You want to be a dropout too, do you?
0:47:44 > 0:47:47Like that ghastly girl that you've been hanging around with?
0:47:47 > 0:47:49Emelia is amazing.
0:47:49 > 0:47:53You're just too... bloody stupid to see it.
0:47:55 > 0:47:58While you are living under our roof
0:47:58 > 0:48:00and you are only 17,
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Bethany, you will live by our rules.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Tell her, Jonathan.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08I mean, it's hardly a terrible crime, Joe.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11It's Beth we are talking about.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14Her idea of rebellion is staying up late for News At Ten.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22Shouldn't we just be grateful that she's showing some spark
0:48:22 > 0:48:23for the first time in her life?
0:48:23 > 0:48:26In fact, I applaud that she's being more like Emelia.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29At least she's getting some spirit about her.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32Gobsmacking
0:48:32 > 0:48:34Utterly gobsmacking
0:48:37 > 0:48:38Parent of the year award.
0:48:56 > 0:48:57Oh, thank God.
0:48:57 > 0:48:59I actually thought I was going to have to go with my mum.
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Well, don't worry.
0:49:02 > 0:49:03I'm ready!
0:49:07 > 0:49:08Come on.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31What do you think he meant by "staircase"?
0:49:31 > 0:49:33Seriously?
0:49:33 > 0:49:34Can't recognise stairs?
0:49:34 > 0:49:36Don't think you'll get in here.
0:49:36 > 0:49:37Don't say that.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40Ah, hello. Staircase 12.
0:49:40 > 0:49:41Ah.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08Oh, my God. I have never seen so many ugly men in all my life.
0:50:08 > 0:50:09I mean, look at them.
0:50:09 > 0:50:12Looks like they wear their brains on the outside.
0:50:12 > 0:50:13Obviously, I chose The Queen's College
0:50:13 > 0:50:15because of a lifelong fascination
0:50:15 > 0:50:17with the Jacobean playwright Thomas Middleton.
0:50:17 > 0:50:22I assume you know why all of the colleges are built in quads?
0:50:22 > 0:50:24Is it so that geeks only have to look at each other
0:50:24 > 0:50:25when they open the curtains in the morning?
0:50:27 > 0:50:30And what are you hoping to read?
0:50:32 > 0:50:35Wasn't it to keep the gownies safe from attack...
0:50:35 > 0:50:37from the townies?
0:50:37 > 0:50:38Good girl.
0:50:38 > 0:50:40I do like a lady who does her homework.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43Bet he fucking does.
0:50:45 > 0:50:47And so when he asked me how I knew,
0:50:47 > 0:50:50I said, "Well, sir, as Sherlock Holmes always said,
0:50:50 > 0:50:53"Elementary, my dear Watson".
0:50:53 > 0:50:56It was quite funny, cos his name was also Watson, you see.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59Holmes never said that.
0:50:59 > 0:51:03I'll think you'll find that he did in his books,
0:51:03 > 0:51:05but I wouldn't expect you to have managed to squeeze in
0:51:05 > 0:51:09much Conan Doyle during your romp around the chick-lit bucket at ASDA.
0:51:09 > 0:51:12And I think if you'd actually read Conan Doyle,
0:51:12 > 0:51:13you'd find out that you're wrong.
0:51:13 > 0:51:16In 1892, he used the words,
0:51:16 > 0:51:18"it was very superficial, my dear Watson,"
0:51:18 > 0:51:22and in the following year, he said simply, "Elementary".
0:51:22 > 0:51:25He never, ever said them together,
0:51:25 > 0:51:26you fuck-trumpet.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34Emelia, I am trying to get a place here.
0:51:34 > 0:51:37Yeah, but he was a pompous twat.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40All right, sorry.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43Come on, we'll go out for a drink.
0:51:49 > 0:51:53Ugh, shared showers are rancid.
0:51:53 > 0:51:55I swear there was a pubic hair doll in the plughole.
0:51:59 > 0:52:03Ah, look at you, hot patootie.
0:52:03 > 0:52:05I look ridiculous.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07No, you don't.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14I just don't want to be embarrassing.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17You're not embarrassing.
0:52:17 > 0:52:18I'm not your mum.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Doesn't bother me what you wear.
0:52:21 > 0:52:24Wear what you want. You look amazing.
0:52:30 > 0:52:33- To Oxford.- Oxford.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40Shall we have another?
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Interview's not until Friday.
0:52:42 > 0:52:43Yes.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56Tell you what. Let's get them to get us another.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58All right. Come on then.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04My sister and I were wondering if you'd like to buy us
0:53:04 > 0:53:07a couple of pints...of wine.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10We're sisters.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12Yeah, she said.
0:53:12 > 0:53:13Go on, then.
0:53:17 > 0:53:18# Yeah
0:53:18 > 0:53:21# Pick up that sound
0:53:21 > 0:53:23# Yeah
0:53:23 > 0:53:25# Pick up that sound
0:53:25 > 0:53:27# Yeah
0:53:27 > 0:53:28# Pick up that sound
0:53:28 > 0:53:30# Pick up that sound
0:53:30 > 0:53:32# They did it again
0:53:32 > 0:53:34# They did it again They did it again
0:53:34 > 0:53:36# Yeah
0:53:36 > 0:53:38# Pick up that sound
0:53:38 > 0:53:41# Pick up that sound
0:53:41 > 0:53:43#They did it again They did it again
0:53:43 > 0:53:46# They did it again. #
0:54:06 > 0:54:07(Emelia.)
0:54:07 > 0:54:08Mmm?
0:54:08 > 0:54:11Mmm...
0:54:11 > 0:54:13How did this happen?
0:54:17 > 0:54:19Just stick your fingers down your throat.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21Honestly, you'll be fine. I do it all the time.
0:54:24 > 0:54:25SHE RETCHES
0:54:31 > 0:54:32Oi! Can't you read?
0:54:32 > 0:54:34Get off of that grass!
0:55:05 > 0:55:07What are you doing?
0:55:07 > 0:55:08I'm going to do it for you.
0:55:08 > 0:55:09What?
0:55:09 > 0:55:11The interview.
0:55:11 > 0:55:13It's been moved to today, but it's fine.
0:55:13 > 0:55:16I'm going to do the interview for you, as you.
0:55:16 > 0:55:17Today?
0:55:17 > 0:55:19How do I look?
0:55:19 > 0:55:21It's today? When today?
0:55:22 > 0:55:24Well, there was a notice stuck to the door.
0:55:24 > 0:55:26It said 2:00, but...
0:55:26 > 0:55:29- it'll be fine. I can bluff this for you.- Don't be ridiculous.
0:55:33 > 0:55:34Come on, pass me my notes.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36Come on.
0:55:43 > 0:55:46It's all right. Don't panic.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05# Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
0:56:05 > 0:56:07# I've seen those English dramas too
0:56:08 > 0:56:10# They're cruel
0:56:10 > 0:56:13# So if there's any other way to spell the word
0:56:13 > 0:56:16# It's fine with me, with me. #
0:56:16 > 0:56:17Bye.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20So how'd it go?
0:56:21 > 0:56:22Touch and go on all fronts.
0:56:22 > 0:56:25I did offer, though. Can you imagine?
0:56:25 > 0:56:27I know. It was a stupid suggestion.
0:56:27 > 0:56:29You know absolutely nothing about medicine.
0:56:29 > 0:56:31- I dunno, I've taken some drugs in my time.- Why am I not surprised?
0:56:33 > 0:56:36But you did it, Beth. I mean, you just went right ahead and did it.
0:56:38 > 0:56:41You look absolutely ridiculous, by the way.
0:56:41 > 0:56:43# Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
0:56:43 > 0:56:45# I climbed to Dharamsala too
0:56:45 > 0:56:48# I did
0:56:48 > 0:56:51# I met the highest lama
0:56:51 > 0:56:53# His accent sounded fine to me...#
0:56:53 > 0:56:55Where did you get that book from?
0:56:55 > 0:56:57Oh, I borrowed it from one of the rooms.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59Do you know there's one in every drawer?
0:56:59 > 0:57:01You don't have to be embarrassed.
0:57:01 > 0:57:04I do know what it's like, you know.
0:57:04 > 0:57:06I mean, my great-grandfather is Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
0:57:06 > 0:57:09Don't know why you keep going on about it.
0:57:09 > 0:57:11I mean, unless you're actually Arthur Conan Doyle,
0:57:11 > 0:57:13it's just a pointless hindrance, isn't it?
0:57:13 > 0:57:16My dad's Jonathan A Fischer.
0:57:16 > 0:57:17So what?
0:57:35 > 0:57:37Hello, darling.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39Come on, give me a hug.
0:57:46 > 0:57:48Emelia, are you coming back for dinner?
0:57:48 > 0:57:50Um, no, thanks, Mr Fischer.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52I've got to get back home.
0:57:52 > 0:57:54But I'll see you on Monday.
0:57:54 > 0:57:56OK, see you then.
0:57:58 > 0:58:00Bye.
0:58:10 > 0:58:11She ate it all.
0:58:11 > 0:58:13She's not doing too badly.
0:58:17 > 0:58:20What are you doing, Emelia?
0:58:20 > 0:58:22I'm eating my dinner, same as you.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24Surely you can't find fault in that.
0:58:24 > 0:58:25No, I mean with your life.
0:58:25 > 0:58:27What are you going to do with yourself?
0:58:27 > 0:58:29What do you mean? I'm writing a book.
0:58:30 > 0:58:32I'm a Conan Doyle.
0:58:32 > 0:58:34It's in my blood, for goodness' sake.
0:58:34 > 0:58:36And I'm really good at it.
0:58:36 > 0:58:42Emelia... life is not a fairy tale.
0:58:43 > 0:58:45What is that supposed to mean?
0:58:45 > 0:58:48Look, I'm just saying, it's not all that's in your blood.
0:58:50 > 0:58:54Don't...waste your life like your mother did.
0:58:54 > 0:59:01Don't cut yourself off because of some fantasy you have.
0:59:03 > 0:59:04It's too late to start with me now
0:59:04 > 0:59:07just cos your own daughter killed herself.
0:59:07 > 0:59:10KNOCKING
0:59:17 > 0:59:19Where have you been?
0:59:19 > 0:59:20No.
0:59:20 > 0:59:22No?
0:59:22 > 0:59:26No what? That's not the answer to that question.
0:59:26 > 0:59:28No, I'm not into you any more.
0:59:28 > 0:59:29All right.
0:59:31 > 0:59:32Bye then.
0:59:33 > 0:59:35Babe?
0:59:54 > 0:59:57"In my younger and more vulnerable years,
0:59:57 > 0:59:58"my father gave me some advice
0:59:58 > 1:00:01"that I've been turning over in my mind ever since."
1:00:01 > 1:00:04It's an odd first line, given the absence of a father character.
1:00:07 > 1:00:09It's good.
1:00:09 > 1:00:10It's very good.
1:00:10 > 1:00:13Don't worry. A little overwritten.
1:00:13 > 1:00:17Sometimes you get very confused by the use of a simile.
1:00:21 > 1:00:22There's something there.
1:00:27 > 1:00:29You seem very distracted.
1:00:30 > 1:00:35Is it that you can't take criticism?
1:00:35 > 1:00:36Jonathan...
1:00:36 > 1:00:38Dad?
1:00:39 > 1:00:41Come on.
1:00:45 > 1:00:46Can you sign this, please?
1:00:46 > 1:00:48What is it?
1:00:48 > 1:00:51Parental consent for my Leavers' Ball.
1:00:51 > 1:00:53Do I have to do this now?
1:00:59 > 1:01:01That's a bit of a lifeless outfit.
1:01:01 > 1:01:04Well, it's obviously reflecting my personality.
1:01:55 > 1:01:57She didn't make it.
1:01:59 > 1:02:00She's gone.
1:02:05 > 1:02:07QUIET CRYING
1:02:35 > 1:02:37Are you going to dress up for the school ball?
1:02:37 > 1:02:39Wear something special?
1:02:44 > 1:02:45Beth?
1:02:47 > 1:02:48What's wrong?
1:02:50 > 1:02:51Nothing.
1:02:51 > 1:02:53I know what's wrong.
1:02:53 > 1:02:56Beth thinks you love Emelia more than her.
1:02:56 > 1:02:58You wish Emelia was your daughter.
1:03:22 > 1:03:24What was I fucking thinking?
1:03:39 > 1:03:40Hey.
1:03:40 > 1:03:42Hey.
1:03:42 > 1:03:45Just wondered if you fancied a cup of tea?
1:03:45 > 1:03:47Oh, I can't.
1:03:47 > 1:03:49Got to get back, unfortunately.
1:03:49 > 1:03:50My bloody mother.
1:03:54 > 1:03:55Are you all right?
1:03:58 > 1:04:00My granny died.
1:04:00 > 1:04:01When?
1:04:01 > 1:04:03Why didn't you call me?
1:04:06 > 1:04:08I'm so sorry.
1:04:11 > 1:04:13SHE SOBS
1:05:20 > 1:05:23Excuse me, has your room been cleaned?
1:05:23 > 1:05:25Not yet. Yours?
1:05:28 > 1:05:32I heard the lady on the desk moaning about the cleaner
1:05:32 > 1:05:33not showing up for work.
1:05:33 > 1:05:35What about that pretty one?
1:05:37 > 1:05:40If only we were 20 years younger, eh?
1:05:55 > 1:05:56KNOCKING
1:05:58 > 1:05:59Hello.
1:06:01 > 1:06:02How are you?
1:06:06 > 1:06:09There's been a lot to sort out, but I'm fine.
1:06:11 > 1:06:12You look bloody awful, though. What's up?
1:06:14 > 1:06:16I've just been sick every morning this week.
1:06:17 > 1:06:18I think it's just a bug.
1:06:18 > 1:06:20But isn't that morning sickness?
1:06:23 > 1:06:24Can't be, can it?
1:06:25 > 1:06:27We used a condom.
1:06:30 > 1:06:33Don't worry. I'll get you a test.
1:06:58 > 1:06:59Emelia?
1:07:03 > 1:07:05Can you come up, please?
1:07:34 > 1:07:35Emelia, I...
1:07:39 > 1:07:41- There's something... - Jonathan...
1:07:41 > 1:07:43I'm sorry. I just want...
1:07:43 > 1:07:45I can't write. I can't do it.
1:07:50 > 1:07:51Of course you can.
1:07:52 > 1:07:55I quite often think of a quote by Tolstoy.
1:07:55 > 1:07:57"In a writer, there must always be two people,
1:07:57 > 1:08:00"the writer and the critic."
1:08:01 > 1:08:03When I was writing The Cliff House...
1:08:03 > 1:08:05For God's sake, get over The Cliff House.
1:08:05 > 1:08:07What do you mean by that?
1:08:07 > 1:08:09You haven't lived a bloody day since, have you?
1:08:11 > 1:08:14I mean, what else have you achieved in the last 20 years?
1:08:16 > 1:08:17I've read your other work,
1:08:17 > 1:08:19and it sure ain't Tolstoy.
1:08:19 > 1:08:23Unless it's the sequel, Bore and Cease.
1:08:28 > 1:08:31CLOCK TICKS
1:08:36 > 1:08:38What's this?
1:08:40 > 1:08:41Nothing.
1:08:43 > 1:08:44What was that?
1:08:44 > 1:08:47That better not be what I thought it was, young lady.
1:08:47 > 1:08:49"What's this? What's that?" What's it got to do with you, anyway?
1:08:49 > 1:08:51It's got everything to do with me.
1:08:51 > 1:08:53- You think you're pregnant? - I'm not pregnant. It's negative.
1:08:53 > 1:08:55So why don't you just fuck off?!
1:08:58 > 1:09:00Had your head so far up your own arse,
1:09:00 > 1:09:02you can't have seen daylight in years.
1:09:02 > 1:09:06Do you even know that you questioned The Great Gatsby? You idiot.
1:09:06 > 1:09:10You told Truman Capote he need not to be so obvious with his metaphors.
1:09:10 > 1:09:12What on earth are you talking about?
1:09:12 > 1:09:15Half of the stuff I gave you as samples weren't even mine.
1:09:15 > 1:09:17I just copied them from books by my bed.
1:09:19 > 1:09:22Why are you being so cruel and childish?
1:09:24 > 1:09:25Because I am a child.
1:09:27 > 1:09:29I'm best friends with your daughter, in case you hadn't noticed.
1:09:33 > 1:09:35Emelia, you don't need to do this.
1:09:37 > 1:09:39I can't do this to Beth any more.
1:09:42 > 1:09:44And I hate you for being able to.
1:10:08 > 1:10:10It's all right.
1:10:12 > 1:10:14It's going to be all right. You're OK.
1:10:26 > 1:10:27Thank fuck.
1:10:34 > 1:10:35Come on.
1:10:35 > 1:10:37Get your things together. We're going out.
1:10:37 > 1:10:39OK.
1:10:39 > 1:10:40Let's go out.
1:10:40 > 1:10:44Let me put some make-up on my big, fat, swollen face.
1:10:53 > 1:10:56Did you know that Beth is now having sex?
1:10:56 > 1:10:57Did you?
1:10:57 > 1:11:00Well, she is, so maybe you can think about that next time
1:11:00 > 1:11:02before you celebrate her for getting sloshed.
1:11:02 > 1:11:04I mean, look at the mess she is in
1:11:04 > 1:11:06because of that stupid girl.
1:11:09 > 1:11:10You're just so selfish.
1:11:10 > 1:11:12You lock yourself away up here
1:11:12 > 1:11:14as if you're curing cancer
1:11:14 > 1:11:17instead of churning out a potboiler once a decade.
1:11:17 > 1:11:21You think buying this house is just your entire contribution
1:11:21 > 1:11:23to this family done, don't you?
1:11:23 > 1:11:24That's your bit done, isn't it?
1:11:27 > 1:11:29I've been sleeping with Emelia.
1:11:29 > 1:11:32You have got to be joking!
1:11:32 > 1:11:36MUFFLED LAUGHTER
1:11:36 > 1:11:38Shall we get going, then?
1:11:38 > 1:11:39'Fat fucking father you are.'
1:11:39 > 1:11:41You've been fucking the maid?
1:11:41 > 1:11:44If you want to put it that way, um, yes, I have.
1:11:49 > 1:11:51I am going to throw up.
1:11:52 > 1:11:53Shall we head out, then?
1:11:54 > 1:11:58Let's head out.
1:11:58 > 1:12:02So while I've been bringing up the kids and running this house...
1:12:02 > 1:12:05and this business has been hanging around my neck...
1:12:05 > 1:12:08draining every last morsel of energy I've got left,
1:12:08 > 1:12:09you have been up here...
1:12:09 > 1:12:12'fucking our daughter's best friend?!'
1:12:27 > 1:12:29I'm leaving you.
1:12:29 > 1:12:31Although, um, I'll be keeping the house,
1:12:31 > 1:12:33so technically,
1:12:33 > 1:12:36you'll actually be leaving me.
1:12:36 > 1:12:37Beth...
1:12:37 > 1:12:39I want you gone by morning.
1:12:40 > 1:12:43You can clear all of this out.
1:12:43 > 1:12:46Want you to take it with you.
1:12:46 > 1:12:48I thought you were my friend.
1:12:48 > 1:12:52I am, Beth.
1:12:52 > 1:12:54I am.
1:12:54 > 1:12:56Not you, you fucking idiot.
1:12:59 > 1:13:01Look, Mummy, I'm Emelia!
1:13:17 > 1:13:20LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
1:13:20 > 1:13:21Woo!
1:13:26 > 1:13:29CHEERING AND WHOOPING
1:13:35 > 1:13:36CAN CLINKS
1:13:36 > 1:13:37See? My dad's right.
1:13:37 > 1:13:40I can't get anything through my thick skull.
1:13:43 > 1:13:45SHE SIGHS
1:13:45 > 1:13:48SEAGULLS CRY
1:13:48 > 1:13:51STUDENTS CHATTER
1:13:52 > 1:13:55Beth? Beth?
1:13:55 > 1:13:57Beth, I need to talk to you.
1:13:58 > 1:14:00Beth, I'm sorry.
1:14:00 > 1:14:01I didn't mean for it to happen,
1:14:01 > 1:14:02any of it, I just...
1:14:02 > 1:14:04I want us to be friends again.
1:14:04 > 1:14:06We can't be friends, Emelia.
1:14:06 > 1:14:07You're a liar.
1:14:07 > 1:14:09No, I'm not.
1:14:09 > 1:14:11You... You know everything now.
1:14:11 > 1:14:14You must know why I had to lie.
1:14:14 > 1:14:16I did a bad thing.
1:14:16 > 1:14:18I'm not talking about that.
1:14:19 > 1:14:21Your name may not be Serena Molina,
1:14:21 > 1:14:23but it certainly isn't Conan Doyle either.
1:14:25 > 1:14:27What?
1:14:27 > 1:14:30Do you actually believe your name is Conan Doyle?
1:14:39 > 1:14:41SEAGULLS CRY
1:14:51 > 1:14:54Grandpa, can I ask you a question?
1:14:54 > 1:14:56Yeah.
1:15:06 > 1:15:10Was my father the grandson of Arthur Conan Doyle?
1:15:10 > 1:15:12Well, his name was Doyle.
1:15:12 > 1:15:14Was it Conan Doyle?
1:15:14 > 1:15:16Was he related to the author?
1:15:24 > 1:15:28Your mother did a lot of things for the right reasons...
1:15:28 > 1:15:32and a lot of things for the wrong reasons.
1:15:32 > 1:15:34Your father's name was Doyle.
1:15:35 > 1:15:37But...
1:15:37 > 1:15:40it wasn't Conan Doyle.
1:15:42 > 1:15:45Me and your granny felt it would have crushed you
1:15:45 > 1:15:48to take it away from you after your mum died.
1:15:48 > 1:15:54It seemed...another cruelty.
1:15:54 > 1:15:58We knew how much it meant to you.
1:16:01 > 1:16:04This just means that the foundation...
1:16:04 > 1:16:07that my life's built on is based on lies.
1:16:08 > 1:16:11My ambition to be a writer is based on a lie.
1:16:12 > 1:16:14I need to rewrite myself.
1:16:14 > 1:16:18But you can.
1:16:18 > 1:16:20You're a great writer anyway,
1:16:20 > 1:16:22without all that nonsense.
1:16:25 > 1:16:29You can't push everybody away, Emelia.
1:16:30 > 1:16:33Your mother wanted you so much.
1:16:37 > 1:16:39She can't have wanted me that much.
1:16:39 > 1:16:41She jumped off a bridge onto a main road.
1:16:41 > 1:16:43Millie, she was ill.
1:16:43 > 1:16:46Her mind wasn't right.
1:16:46 > 1:16:49But she'd be so proud of how clever you've made yourself.
1:16:49 > 1:16:51Because of him, without him,
1:16:51 > 1:16:52what does it matter?
1:16:52 > 1:16:54It's just a name, Emelia.
1:16:54 > 1:16:58It's just an albatross around your neck, really,
1:16:58 > 1:16:59but you just can't see that yet.
1:17:02 > 1:17:05You're still special, you know.
1:17:05 > 1:17:08Special bloody needs, thanks to her.
1:17:08 > 1:17:14You'll stop being angry with her one day.
1:17:14 > 1:17:16And with yourself.
1:17:16 > 1:17:18You're a writer.
1:17:18 > 1:17:19But if you change your mind...
1:17:19 > 1:17:22and want to go to college instead, there's money, you know.
1:17:22 > 1:17:27I don't need anything but to upgrade my teabags
1:17:27 > 1:17:28every once in a while.
1:17:28 > 1:17:31THEY CHUCKLE
1:17:31 > 1:17:34Well, don't go bloody mad.
1:17:34 > 1:17:36I want some kind of inheritance.
1:18:50 > 1:18:52CAR APPROACHES
1:18:52 > 1:18:55ENGINE IDLES
1:18:57 > 1:18:59KNOCK AT DOOR
1:19:01 > 1:19:04ENGINE REVVING
1:19:44 > 1:19:47SEAGULLS CRY
1:19:55 > 1:19:57Daddy!
1:19:58 > 1:20:00Hello, my darling.
1:20:00 > 1:20:02Are you coming home?
1:20:02 > 1:20:06No, I'm not.
1:20:06 > 1:20:09I'm just here to drive my Oxford undergrad to college.
1:20:10 > 1:20:12Hi.
1:20:12 > 1:20:14Hi.
1:20:15 > 1:20:18Thank you for letting me drive you.
1:20:23 > 1:20:25Hi, hello.
1:20:25 > 1:20:27Hi.
1:20:31 > 1:20:32How are you?
1:20:32 > 1:20:34Good.
1:20:34 > 1:20:37Hear you got a job.
1:20:37 > 1:20:39Yes, I'm teaching creative writing.
1:20:39 > 1:20:41Oh. Huh.
1:20:47 > 1:20:49- Let's go.- Come on, then.
1:20:49 > 1:20:51- Grab something.- Yes.
1:21:14 > 1:21:17Hi, um... can I get this printed on A-4 and bound?
1:21:17 > 1:21:19Yep, no problem.
1:21:19 > 1:21:20Just take a seat.
1:21:31 > 1:21:34MUSIC: Smokers Outside The Hospital Doors by Editors
1:21:38 > 1:21:42# We've all been changed
1:21:42 > 1:21:45# From what we were
1:21:45 > 1:21:49# Our broken hearts
1:21:49 > 1:21:53# Left smashed on the floor
1:21:53 > 1:21:57# I can't believe you
1:21:57 > 1:22:00# If I can't hear you
1:22:00 > 1:22:04# I can't believe you
1:22:04 > 1:22:08# If I can't hear you... #
1:22:10 > 1:22:12ENGINE TURNS OVER
1:22:30 > 1:22:34# We've all been changed
1:22:34 > 1:22:38# From what we were
1:22:38 > 1:22:42# Our broken hearts
1:22:42 > 1:22:46# Smashed on the floor
1:22:46 > 1:22:49# We've all been changed
1:22:49 > 1:22:53# From what we were
1:22:53 > 1:22:57# Our broken hearts
1:22:57 > 1:23:01# Smashed on the floor
1:23:01 > 1:23:07# Someone turn me round
1:23:07 > 1:23:15# Can I start this again?
1:23:15 > 1:23:23# Now someone turn us around
1:23:23 > 1:23:30# Can we start this again?
1:23:34 > 1:23:38# We've all been changed
1:23:38 > 1:23:42# From what we were
1:23:42 > 1:23:45# Our broken hearts
1:23:45 > 1:23:48# Left smashed on the floor
1:23:48 > 1:23:52# I can't believe you
1:23:52 > 1:23:56# If I can't hear you
1:23:56 > 1:24:00# I can't believe you
1:24:00 > 1:24:04# If I can't hear you. #
1:24:04 > 1:24:09# I never wondered how the world kept turning
1:24:09 > 1:24:12# Till the middle of my world came crashing in
1:24:12 > 1:24:17# Then I got to wondering how I never got to wondering
1:24:17 > 1:24:19# Way back then. #